The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-07-15
COOLING HER OFF.
A Lesson for Much Enduring Heads
Households.

Only recently was obliged to have
change Of administration In the culinary
department.
It had long been a question In my
mind who was running the house, my
self or the cook.
/ couldn't exactly satisfy myself, but
concluded, that as paid the rent, had
right TO at least a voice in the matter.
So l went down stairs, and consulted
the cook herself on the subject.
She seemed greatly offended at what 1
could not help considering my imperti-
tence. So l discharged her on the spot,
fearing that IL / did not she might dis
miss me. She would, 10 doubt. feel sore
and dis sppointed, though, If she knew
that the silver on the spoons she took
with her is only skin deep.
But 1t IS not with the ex-steak de-
stroyer that this has TO do. 1t is with
her successor, who arrived a day or two
later.
She was one of the most high-toned
women / ever saw. | felt small and
mean when obliged TO ask her TO perform
a menial service. She seemed like one
born to govern a kitchen a mile long
and to ride up and down the same on
horseback, and give orders with large
waving spoon.
She seemed 80 superior in every way,
that l felt ii necessary for my general
happiness to ascertain her limitations.
DO Sa4u W HoA' OA 1no Nos sHS u
rived:
"Can you make soup?"
"Oh, yes" she replied.
What kindT"
Every kind" she replied.
"Can you make mulligatawnyf"
Never heard of It, she said.
"Can you make bisque OF crab"
whats that2"
Without replying, 1 asked:
Can you make lobster croQuettes
la kalamazoo?"
She seemed deZed.
How are you on tilet de batT Gu1 cham
pignons -
She replied not, but looked as though
she had been hit with the tail OF cy-
clone. She seemed overcome with
grief, and every moment 1 expected TO
see her wilt like paper shirt-front In q
thunder-shower
"S.ppose 1 should ask you to get me
up an epigram, a salmi, or fricandeAu
OF badger la Montpelier -on-the- Onion,
then what woull you do!'
Tears were streaming out OF her false
ewes by this time. She seemed to lie on
the point Of accusing me OF calling her
names when l said:
Can you roast beefr'
Yes"
Can you cook sseakT"
Without frying PAM
Yes"
We'll. if you can do Got, you're en-
Then she took charge OF us.-[Puck.
Recklrss Eating OF New Workers.
Indigestion is said to be one OF the
most prevalent ailments. The person
who AXE ii look about in any restaur-
ant viii not wonder at IL. Cast-IrOn
stomachs only could stand some of the
things that people deposit within them
selves.
was imPelled to thoughts Of indIges-
ton by seeing man put mustard IN his
pie. And, as IL this w're not enough, l
saw another man put mustard on wafer
melon. After that il would not have
at al been surprising 10 have seen q
person put Worcestershire sauce on his
ice cream.
Many persons eat pie at break 'ast, and
once in a while the person is found who
begins his meal with ice cream and tops
off with soup; but he Is crazy.
The people who throw down good
sized dinner IN twenty minutes are
countless. The ones who eat IN the
middle of the day 10 New York have only
a few minutes to do It in. An ostrich
would become emaciated under the con-
ditions in which thousands of men live
in New York. and history records that
an ostrich can tackle anything from an
ink bottle to 4 crowbar.
Such digestible things as beefsteak
and roast beef do not find much Of a
market. The ''Teady-to-serve" dishes are
called for 10 the greatest extent. These
are meats and vegetables which have
been boiled and stewed until they would
serve better for door hinges and build
/ ing materials than for food. Anything
to fill up" appears to be the motto.
The coffee and cake saloons which
! flourish all over the city furnish mud Z"
/ and "sinkers coffee and cakes at
/ night, and do as much to undermine
constitutions as anything else.
! Pies and sandwiches are sold from
! baskets in the street. Messengers and
/ newsboys buy them, and when doubled
up in the thIoes of the collie. as a conse-
quence, are accused by theiI parents Of
having spent their earnings In green ap-
1 pies.
The whole mastication line Of the me-
tropolis is beset with danger into which
the eaters madly plunge Brooklyn
Union.