St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-05-05
4 Few Incidents That Occurred While
Moving From One Place to
Another.
A Trihing Act That Made Policeman
Mad at Man and Wheel
barrow.
The Success of a Garden Rake as a
Carpet Beaten When Properly
Managed.
A Warming to Housewives who Love
Their Husbands to Lock Their
Bureau Drawers.

by moving our household goods from the
old stand, corner of Third and Oak streets.
to a quiet little nook entirely devoid OF
alleys and street cars down by Irving park.
\ our mother got tired of living in the old
place. The sewer gas got into her clothes
there. and when she went down town 10
buy stuff. she complained of the policemen
giving her a suspicious look, so taking il all
around, we thought we'd better SnlIt our
location.
We thought the matter over pretty thor
Oughly and finally concluded that it would
be considerable cheaper if | would borrow
q wheelbawow and cart our goods over my
self. hadn't been doing much heavy
work for several weeks, and as my muscles
were getting. sort of slimpsy. | thought
twas a good fdea felt very jocose as |
arose last Tuesday morning and wheeled
the oil stove and your mothers white ash
wash board over to the new house. felt
iocose until along about noon. when began
to get weak in the gambre joints and
wanted to squat down on every hydrant
that came across. | kept up my spirits,
however. until about O'Clock in the after
noon. | was Just taking over the last load.
There were lot Of bed Stats and side
pieces 10 bedSteads in the load, and they
stretched out pretty we'll over the sidewalk
| had tripped blithely along five or six
blocks when | sat down on the handles of
the wheebarrow 10 rest. | noticed that the
women with baby carriages were going out
into the middle of the street TO get by me-
but il didn't strike me at first what the mat
ter was. Pretty soon policeman came up,
and in a bay voice said:
"What er yer dom there?'
PPM er resting" said ].
I'm arrestng, too" said he. "Yerd
better cum down ter Their cooler with me-
Didn't yer know that there wuS n ordl-
nance against dryin' drays on Their side
walkS?'
told him had been driving that dray
on the sidewalk all day, and that no ordi-
napee non anything that looked like one
hadafuh against me. He made some re-
niaEN in subterranean tone about fools not
all Being dead yet, and told me to get out
into the middle of the street with my load
and said if nterfered with the street cars
he would pull me. l don't know just ex-
actly what he meant. but | suppose he felt
jocOse. too, and wanted to have little fun,
but | was tired and didn't feel like fooling.
so | got out into the middle of the street
and got the last load down to the house
without any more trouble
your mother nail piece of zinc across my
back to sort of brace me mp for the eXer-
cses OF the day. | was trltle less jocose
than l was the previous morning. My ap,
petite was good and miy respiration about
two minutes faster than usual, but there
seemed to be 4 wefl-developed. ennui about
my muscles. However, l was full of am
bitiOn, and proceeded to break the furni-
ture and several chunks of bric-a- brac with
an air of abandon that called forth a few
brief comments on rolling pin from your
mother.
At 1920 a. H., armed with long. drab
garden rake. l sailed forth in the back
yard 10 pound myself to death against four
yards and q quarter of body Brussels carpet
that was palmed off on your unsuspecting
mother two years ago at So a yard with
the understanding that il would stretch a
great deal. think the man who sold it to
her made mistake in the piece of carpet
for we never could make that four yards
and quarter begin to cover the sitting
room tlOOr
At first l tossed myself gleefully up
against that piece of carpet, and found the
exercise very invigorating. AS | entered
upon the third hour was a trifle groggy,
but catching my second wind Jumped on
the carpet 50 enthusiastically that man
who lived in the next yard looked over the
fence and wanted to know why | didn't use
that piece of carpet for window garden,
there was so much dirt in it. He struck
the ground with sort of thud, but yelled
through crack in the fence, DON'T or
get to shake well before using"
At the end of the fifth hour | was inhal-
ing dust at the rate of about $50 inhales an
hour My hat had blown off during the
excitement and had carelessly stamped it
into the earth; my HAIR was somewhat
dlsheyeled and my collar was jubilantly
floating in the breeze but | was satisfied
there was nothing left of the four yards and
quarter of Brussels but one or two leaves
and part of the stem of a Never touched
me geranium that was painted on it.
| don't want to brag, but / have got the
impression that [ am the liveiest carpet
beater that ever wore boots without socks:
nor | don't stop here either, can beat any
thing from a restaurant to a cat-rigged
yacht, and make bright red success of it,
Thursday morning | awOke and got Your
mother 10 take down tile bed so that |
could roll ont. After she had turned two or
three pals of water on he and tossed a
couple of wooden chairs down on me, |
managed to get up on my feet and clothe
myself. There was no evidence of iOcose-
ness observable about me this morn
ing. | was very tame and inotfensve.
but along about IL O'clock a. m. your
mother with peculiar look in her eye that
L could not resist. asked me if | would trip
down to the foot of the front stairs and
bring up her bureau. She said she had
packed the stove covers and things in the
drawers and wanted to use them. | tripped
half way down when L managed to catch
myself. The bureau was pretty heavy. but
I've got record for carrying bureaus, and
picking it up started upstairs | had
sprung lightly up five steps when | diScoy-
cred that in the excitement Sour venerable
mother had forgotten to lock the drawers.
The top drawer came out and the corner
chafed a hole in my pUmpadour; the second
drawer slid out and drove my noseabolt
two inches into my face; the third drawer.
which was filed with the stove legs etc.
scraped up against my stomach and threat
ened to wear a hole clean through me. |
yelled for your mother to come. She
came to the head of the stairs
and noticing my embarrassment said turn
it around you fool" and wandered aim.
iessly back into the pot pourri of dry goods
boxes, broken chairs, lame tables and other
matrimonial excerpts. | stood it as long as
] could, when. with a desparing cry, |
rolled down to the bottom Of the stairs in
more or less proximity to the bureau, which
managed to light Oh top of me.
The family living down stairs summoned a
compile of policemen, and Dlucked me from
the ruins. They took me up stairs and
gently laid me on the table where Your
mother had been kneading bread. until she
could get mp the bedstead and get it ready
10 put me into.
Friday / gave up to reflection. and dis
posed of Saturday in the same unobtrusive