Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-02-10
now HE cor EVEN.
A Drdo's Brilliant idea and the Trouble II
Caused.

1t would never do for the West Side
to lag behind the South Side in the
march of progress. As the South Side
stfeet-cars have been heated this win
ter the West Side Company has kept
up with the procession, and, if amy.
thing, has excelled its rival IN the beati.
tifdl simplicity bf Its heating apparatus.
The apparatus in question consists o.
two parts--a handsome brass latch,
which keeps the front door of the car
locked, and rule which forbids the
lifting of the latch. The rule is most
excellent rule and entirely orthodox in
that it works both ways-and thereby
hangs a tale.
During the bitter eald weather. a day
or two agt, Il little dude whose overcoat
consisted principally of fur collar, and
whose legs were so slim that Jack
Frost passed them by in disgust, step
ped languidly on the front platform,
and grasping the handle pushed feebly
at the door. The conductor happened
to be collecting Il fare close to the door,
and, seeing the situation, laughed in
the little fellows face.
s'1et iiie in'' said the dude, with
great dignity.
NAV" replied the conductor, with
grin and u chuckle. you'll have TO
come around I'd the back door"
'Open the door," exclaimed he on
the outside, rafting the handle.
Cant do it, my dear. It's back
door or nothing with you, Dickey," re-
piled he on the inside, showing bad
quarter and three dilapidated nickels
into a passengers hand and ringing
his little gong by way of emphasis.
The dude unbent enough to almost
lose his temper, for il was cold outside
and the passengers were hugely amused
at his predicament; but all of sudden
thought SEEMED to strike him. 1t
nearly knocked him off into the street;
but he managed to rally, and in Il mo-
ment more all that appeared of him
was a coat collar and pair of legs
leaning contentedly against the door.
About this time the conductor pushed
back the slide in the door and pokcd
the dude in the back. The little fellow
turned around and looked hlankly and
innoccntly into the conductors face.
.'Fare.' said the conductor, sticking
grimy paw through the aperture.
The dude smiled in wearied sort of
way and disappeared in his coat col
lar
Fare, therei' repeated the conduc-
tor, rafting tho slide.
you'll have to come wound to the
-ah--fwont platfohm, doncheknow,
deah chappic, replied the dude, emerg-
ing for Il few seconds and disappearing
again before the words were well out
Of his mouth.
The conductors was six feet tall and
had whole beai'skin on. He looked
us though he could crawl into II hole
and die. The passengers nearly went
into commissions. The dude was buried
in his collar and apparently far away
II Ills thoughts,
Once more the big man in the bear
skin yelled "Faren' and stuck out a
threatening hand.
''Deah boy, it's fwont platfohm aw
nothing" was the response from the
little man In the collar.
Then the conductor retieatcd rs the
back door and his ayes hulged out a
foot in his cngprness 10 catch sight of
policeman. He called the first one
on to the ear and told him to 80 ahead
and pulveIizc the fur collar and the
legs. The conductor stopped the ear.
and the majesty of the law walked stern
~ around to the front door But the
collar and lnss scented To have no fear
and didn't pulvclizc worth cent.
They expressed Il fevcrish anxiety TO
pay the fare and held up Il nickel so
that the conductor could see it through
the door. But put il through the slide
they would not, and they coollv in
formed the majesty ~ the lave that all
the policemen Iii Chicago couldn't
make them do it.. Then the passengers
laughed ut the policeman. and the po-
lieeman suddenly discovered that he
had urgent business somewhere else
and slid off ut the first corner Then
the conductor ran around to the front
door. The passengers supposed he
was going 10 eat up the littir man.
The conductor had sort of nm idea to
that effect himself. But the dude didn't.
He came out Of his coat collar, straight
ened up, and fixed very bright and
rather wicked eve upon the conductor,
while one hand came up in a careless
sort of fashion about breast high. Then
the conductor extended an open hand,
and the dude dropped into it Il nickel,
unfixed his eye. and disappeared in his
coat collar. Chicago Tribune.