Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-25
BRIGHT BITS.

A PERSON with cork leg. corkscrew eyes,
| blue bottle nose and jug handle ears must be
full of Spirits Whtt-haU Times.
THE wolves in Minnesota chased a lawyer
| twenty mlles over the snow, and the local
| press denounCes them for unproGesslonal con-
| duct.-San trdHciSc1 AHd.
THE new linen cuffs are very close about
| the wrists" The old ones, however. still
! llnger around the ears, just as they did in
! days of yOre. Or, as Lue unlettered barbarian
might remark, in the auricular days.-BUr-
| dette.
| A YOUNG MAN ''who can milk and take care
| of furnace advertses in the New \ rk Her
| AID for situation. Some Mailman should
| hire him. The pumps can be given rest
| with man on the place who can milk fur
| nace.-PtttS6u q ChrrRicle.
SAID maid. II Will marry for lucre,"
And her scandaiiled ma almost shucre;
But when the chance came,
And she told the good dame,
/ notice she did not rebucre.
-Erchanoe.
WIFE ito husband, ar eminent physician
What wonderful advances nave been made
in medical science during the past few
years, my dear!
Eminent physician-Wo Wonderful, wonder
full.
Wife-So many new names 10 old diseases.
-H,y Der's Bds ".
"THERE is one thing about me )" said Dunn
lev. as ne wrote his name in the hotel regis
mem Der it,
ANY baggage" demanded the clerk
linen YOU won't pay as you go; you'll pay
as you come! Two dollars. please, and re-
member not to forget it!'-The JWdGe.
law, YAAs. acknowledge the beauty of
American women; but you all lack tact, don't
ye know"
American Girl-Possibiy.
law, yaas; you have not the finessee of Eu-
ropeGn ladies', don We knOWP'
Have you noticed such lack in me?'
"A ", yaaS."
Then / must confess myself beaten. l
thought | was acting as if l enjoyed myself"
-On"dhd W05Id
AN old lady got aboard of a Woodward
avenue car at the railroad crossing the other
day, and had ridden a distance of TWO blocks
before she happened to notice the stove, just
then. also, the car ran over a stick or a stone
on the track, and she sprang up, seized her
satchel and bolted for the platform.
''What is it, ma'am :" asked the conductor.
Cant come no deadly car stove on me,
even if be ODD" she replied as she took a
jump from the platform and landed right side
up in the mud.-Detroit Free Press.
\ LADY called on friend who had only
been married few years, and was surprised
to fiuG ner in tears. Il am the most unhappy
woman in Austin, and it is all on account of
my husband"
S'Wby. your husband lives for you alone.
lie stays at nome all the time. lie never goes
away from home; he never brings any OF his
friends to the house"
Yes replied the unfortunate woman,
putting her handkerchief to her eyes and sob
bling c0nvulslvely. what-makes me
so miserable. '-Tepds SjJtiDgY.
SUNDAY-At church.
Ada her hand reverentialy on her prayer
book -"keep this law!"-Jessie, do look at
| Miss Skimpys bonnet. She's had 1t for five
| years a. least
Mnster-Ilm, Hm-"false witness against
! thy neighbor"
Ada-"keep this law-a-law!"
Jessie-Say. Ada. what a love OF a bonnet
| sally Bonanzer has on. | do wish Il was
mine.
Mlnister-IIm, Hm-''Thou shalt not covet
| thy neighbours; Hun, HIM, nor anything that
hchathn
Ada and Jessie very loud>-'Keep these
ws."-TDa0n TopicS.