davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
II Ell y 2:1c S:-arirz.

Eduard Shepherd, Of Harrisburg,
IL, rays; "Hsyiug received 30
nuch benefit from Electric Bitters, |
feel il my dnty - let suffering hu-
msnity know il. Have had rnn-
ming sore On NY leg for eight years
ny doctors told me 1 would have 10
have the bone scrsped or leg ampu-
taied ussd, Instead, three bot
ties OF Electric Bitters aud seven
boxes B1cklen's Arnica Salge, aud
my leg ia now sound and well.
Electric Bitters are sold at fifty
cents a bottle, aud Bucklsu's Arnica
SAIys at Is cents per box by q. "
Ehindsl.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
Niraculous Escapa.

W. W. Reed, druggist, Of Wins
chester, Ind, writes: "One Of my
customers, Mrs. Louisa Pike, Barto-
mia, Randolph Co., Ind, was a long
sufferer with Consumption, and was
given up to die Ly her physicians.
She heard Of DR.. Kings New Dis>
covery for Consumption, and began
buying it OF me. In six months
time she walked to this city, q dis.
tance Of six miles, aud is now 80
much improved sbe hasquit using it.
She feels she owes her life to it,"
FREQ Trial Bottles at q. NJ. Shindel's
Drug Store.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
Out Of our immense stock VIC
offer the following
AND
CARPET
BARGAINS!

Two Solid Walnut Marble
top Suits, Beyel Glass cX-
ira well made in work and
finish. .but "A little offin style
Five Cottage Painted Suits
at a bargain.
Three Solid Ash Suits all
good goods except in finish:
Five Lounges ut sacrifice.
One plush Parlor suit7 pieces
Two hair-cloth "
One 4" +"
second hand.
Four marblctop Parlor tables
Five hundred yards, all wool,
C.C. and Cotton Ingram
and Rag Carpets-last
Spring styles and remnants
and all the above are per-
feet, except in style and
finish. Nc wish to clean
them out-all are marked
BargainsG dpricesi plain
figures.
All our re Ilar stock OF
FURNITl RE & CAR
SETs, at a reduced price
for the NEXT THITY
DAYS.
Call carly and secure the
bargains. Goods packed and
freight paid to any point on
l.. X. X.
w. II. FELIX,
The popular Furniture and
Carpet Man, LcwistOwn.
~ l. Undertaking a specially.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29

POg gALE POk s70.-A new piano
box, EIsptie spring, top buggy. Firtt
lass make pit5 al latest improve
Dsnfs On m or addFess
q. n. HAaTgH,
AlAdjfbpygb, 70,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29

NAA1EVto be made. Cut this out aud
MON "a return TO us, and We will send
Tree you. something OF great value and impor-
tancc tV YOU. that will start you IN business which
will bring YOU In more money night away than
anything else In this world, Any one can do
the work and live AZ home. Either sex; all ages.
Something now. that Just coins money for all
workers. We will start you capital not needed
This IL one of the genuine, Important chances OF
lifetime. Taose who are ambitions and enter
prising viii not delay. Grand outht free. nd
dress IHUg Co., Augusta, III aim
Portland, Maine. Dec. 20 1885, ly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
s.H.z.s=ssz=T-z=<z=zg

a citizen of Providence, Il /.
m skes mauy O d liar by catching
bats, which lie sells 10 taziieymists
for City cents q piece. lie ias,eLs a
fish hook to tie end o' a long hor-c
whip, aud 90 the hook he fas,ens
moth miller. Then, standing near
al electric light 10 tie evening, he
saves tue wLiF Hn,il ono Of tie many
bats which are bur ting the insects
that hy around he light grab. the
miller, and then lie ynuks him IN.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
pA TENTcF. A. LEHMANN. v
i IA L Elm i Sington, d. q. Send fol
cular.
MalgNSIyESaIIxIi7U

naVs ynM Nungh, NronehItIs, Asthma, IndIgesflon
sasa HS ,Sh0xR T0Mi0 riths9. :, ss. ~
Tor all affections OF tho throat and lungs, and di5
Arsils from Impure blood and exhaustion. Tho !
70 tho grave will in many casos recover their heal
,ho Timely nse q iarkcr's Ginger Tonic. but delay
saoa ssa %isoraars rs ~ y IN time i inyairsoe g, al
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-09-29
SWilhin c. Sh0rtlidgG'S Academy,
For Young Men and Boys, Media, Pa

u miles from Philadelphia. Fixed price cor.
eIs every expense, even books, &C. No extrY
Ton Tor admission. Twelve experienced teaohers
All men, ard all graduates. Special opportuul.
ties LOT apt studen = TO advance rapidly. SpeciaI
students may select any studies or chooso the
regular English, Scientific, Business, Classical
OF tivil Engineering course. Students fitted nj
Media Academy are now In Harvard, Yale,
princeton and ten other Colleges and Polytech'
me Schools. 10 students semitic college In 1883.
10 In 1884, 10 In 1856, 10 In 1859. A GRADUATING
A Physical and Chemical Laboratory, Gym-
nasium and ball Ground. 1900 vols. added TO
Library IN 1883 Physical apparatus doubled In
lbs3. Media has seven churches and n temper.
anee charter which prohibits tho sale Of all In.
tor,cating drinks. For new illustrated circular
address tho Principal and Proprietor, SWITHiN
Media, Penna.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Short Smiles;

Epitaph on an Editor-Here lies one who
never lied before. Washington Critic.
"Yeth, ah, yeth,' he said; ''yeth, we're
going TO stick boars-imported boars, you
know-at Tuxedo; rare sport, by Jover'
''No doubt, - she said, playing with her fan,
'E5ut are you not afraid, Mr.. Addlepate, that
you viii be injured?'' -Morning Journal.
When the Pilgrim fathers hear that Ply
mouth has had a dance in honor of their
landing, they viii be sorry they landed
Philadelphia Call.
Mrs. Ram came over from Calais to Dover
the other day. She said that it wasn't so
much the sea as the OSCILLATION of the boat
that upset her-Punch.
A fashion item says that "new pocket
books are long and slender" They gener-
ally are slender Immediately after the holt
days. We prefer the long and plethoric style.
-Norristown Herald.
81 am afraid its not genuine, - said lady
to a shopman. "Oh, yes, it is, madame, - re-
piled the polite gentleman. IAN our camel's
hair shawls are made of pure silk, direct from
the worm. Exchange.
''Do you believe that chestnuts keep off
rheumatism, Binksf'' Eyes" replied Binks;
81 always carry a comic paper in my
pocket Boston Bulletin
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
4 srasninr Ksforni.

Up in Beef Gap, Idaho, there is a new city
marshal He was "Onion Biz before his
election, but now they call him ''Chief" and
add respectfully his Last name Birdell. Here
is a copy of a circular he posted in prominn-
ent places in the town and its outskirts. III
has had a, good effect:
NOTICE
This is to inform all citizens of Beef Gap
and strangers sojourning therein that on
and after this date, Monday, Nov. 20, 1886,
if will be unlawful in this town for anybody
to carouse, cuss or whoop.
On and after this date also there will be
in this town
No more compelling people to drink when
they don't feel like it;
No more shooting of plug hats;
No more short card games of chance;
No more drinking of whisky out OF bot
ties when the bars are open;
No more noisy deviltry;
Any man driving or riding horse into
a public bar viii be shot.
Any man or men compelling another man
to dance viii be shot;
Any man raking Down the pot at poker
without the cards to back it up will be shot
dead;
Tramps, tin-horn gamblers, back door
Iunchers, beggars, boneyard bummers,
scrappers and coffin-paint demOlishers are
warned away from Beef Gap.
1t is the determination of the new adj
ministration to usher i'll an era of new re-
form. and all good citizens viii array them
selves on the side of the law. All others
will be turned over to the coroner.
By the Mayor;
BILL BIRDELL, Chief.
Arizona Star,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Give the Woman a Chance.

Bluffum is possessed of a broad, catholic
spirit. There is noting contracted about
BlufRum. He was reading the other evening
the card of woman In the newspaper in
which she demanded that women be admitted
into certain professions. ssThem' my senti-
ments, exclaimed Bluffum with unwonted
emphasis "Give woman a right to labor
wherever she wants. Hang til she may do
all the work for aught care Boston
Transcripts.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
At the Festive Board.

''Mr. Peterby, win you please carve the
turkey?''
''No, thank you The man who carves
must either be fool or rascal, and 1 don't
care to be either
''What do you mean?"
eff he keeps the choicest portions for
himself he is a scoundrel; if he does not
keep them for himself he is a fool, and as 1
said, 1 don't care to place myself in either
category. ''-Texas Siftings.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
An Unfortunate Order.

James, said a grocer to his clerk, -
you mustn't say lady to the woman Gus
toners any more; they don't like the
term
Gan right, SIR replied James; and
presently Mrs. Wayback came in
81 want Philadelphia dry picked cod
fish, - she said, land three bars of soap
eyes, woman" responded James;
''where'n you have 'em sent?''
Don't you woman me, you young
snapperhead, - said Mrs Wayback, cycling
him with disfavor ''I'm a lady an don't
you forget it, - and she fiounced out.-New
York Sun.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
The Proper Acknowledgements.

A mother, talking to her little 4-year-old
daughter said: 'SDo you not feel thankful
that you have good home and papa and
mamma, with plenty of comfortable things
to wear and food to eat, while there are so
many children who have not so many
things to make them happy?'' ''No, do
not said little Miss Perverseness. But
when safe in bed at night and alone in the
room her mother overheard her saying:
eyes, 1 have a nice papa and mamma and
everything good, and, dear Lord, am much
obliged. Utica Press
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
The Reason He Wanted a Place.

An influential voter in the provinces pro-
poses to work his representative in the
chamber of deputies for ''all he is worth. -
9 My dear deputy, could you manage to get
my son place in the Paris exhibition
'tWhat can he doy'' "Do? Why, if he
knew how to do anything shouldn't be
troubling you. French Joke
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
The Reason Was Good.

A bright youngster of this city sent his
first letter to an aunt in a neighboring town
the other day. and the recipient, instead of
replying directly to the writer, sent word to
his mother that it was a very creditable
initial attempt indeed. The compliment was
repeated to him, and he said: ''Well, If she
thought so much of it why didn't she answer
it?'' The same epitome of man remarked
recently: eff you should die, mamma, 1
would get a very young mother to take your
place" ''Why?" was the natural query.
because, - was the answer, "she would last
so much longer. Boston Gazette.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
A GRAPHIC Descrintinn.

Some time ago a little 3-year-old,
playing in the yard, came into the house
and said in surprised tone to his mother:
Mother, saw nothing with tail to it. -
His mother, being unable to understand
him, followed the child into the yard, where
the little fellow pointed to snake which
was gliding away through the grass.
Youths Companion.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
One at a Time.

counsel thought that he would over
come Lord Norbury on the bench. One day
his lordship was charging jury, and the
address was interrupted by the braying of
an ass. "What noise is that?'' cried Lord
Norbury. otis only the echo of the court,
my lord, - answered the counsel. Nothing
Disconnected, the judge resumed his adj
dress, but soon the barrister was compelled
to interpose with technical objections to the
charge. While stating them the ass again
brayed. Gone at a time, if you please, !"
remarked his lords'Gp with sarcastic smile
American Law Review
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
SpoiIed Tor the Serrice.

Commanding Of1cer-Bring your com
pany up.
Captain (just taken back into the army
Well, I'u go and talk to the boys and see if
they'll come.
Great starsi Where have you been since
you left the army?''
'sBeen commanding a regiment of mil
itia. Omaha World
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Didn,t KNOW what He nTIssed

Mrs. Goodear-I am so sorry you are late
You have missed that beautiful aria in the
first act and the lovely andante movement
in the second.
Mr.. V.-Oh, don't care so much for the
area, don't you know, as I don't go in for
scenery. But it cuts me up awfully when
you tell me I am late for the ballet-Life.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
The Danger Was Past.

Conductor-Do you expect us to take that
boy through on half ticket?
Matron-Certainly. The agent who sold
the ticket saw the boy
ConductOr-Didn't he ask his age?
Matron-No, he didn't seem to think it
necessary. Have you pair of scissors on
the train?
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Matron-Yes, 1 want to let the hem out
of his trouSers.-Omaha World.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
A Gratifed wish.

''Ahl Miss Roseleaf, how envy that fur
arrangement you wear around your neck.
What do you call it?''
1T is boa, Mr.. Snidkins. -
sob, would I were a boa!''
Your wish is gratifed, you are one. -
Harvard Lampoon.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Natural History in the Nursery.

Uncle Jack returns from long walk ana
being somewhat thirsty drinks from tum-
bier he finds on the table Enter his little
niece Allie, who instantly sets up yell of
despair.
Uncle Jack-What's the matter, Allie?
Allie (weeping)-You've drinked up my
aquarium and swallowed my free pollywogs.
Howls with anguish. Harvard Lampoon.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
From child to Woman.

ssYou shouldn' act in such childish
manner said mother in a Gliding tone
of voice to her little daughter. "You will
soon be a young lady, you know"
eff that's so, ma, - replied the little tot
rather skeptically, ''don't you think that
it is about time that my hustle was begin
uing to grow?''-Judge.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Dictated by Malice.

Successful sutton 6oyfully)-Well, 1 have
won Miss King; she sent me beautiful
plaster cast of her hand, labeled: "Twas
mine; it's yours Disconsolate rival
tneeringly)--Well, why didn't she finish
the quotation: and has been slave to thou
sands 70 Chicago Rambler
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
The Gates on o;Ied Vince,

Dying, urged Henry Ward Beecher in
his pulpit on Sunday, is usually painless,
and passing out of life far easier than be-
Ing born: A man with dyspepsia may
carry little hell in his stomach. Men go
out OF life with the gates on oiled hinges.
Beng ready to die" Mr.. Beecher Con-
cluded. as being ready to live right. DE.
troit Free esgs.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Not DeclinabIe.

Teacher-How would you decline ''to
drink?''
Willie-Can't be done.
Teacher Gin surprise)-Can't be done?
Willie-Ne; l asked papa how he'd decline
1t, and he said he coul&n t do it-he'd accept.
The Rambler.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Unkind of Her Father.

pened?
Nellie-My heart is broken, Edith. 1
shall never SIN le agair% never again find
music in the songs of birds, Or
Edith-Oh, it can't be. Has your engage
ment with the count been broken?
Nellie-Yes.
Edith--Oh, what have you done to him?
What has happened?
Nellie Papa went and told him he had
lost every cent of his money.-Omaha World.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Fashions Change.

Edith-Seen1s to me every one of these
ancient sculptures is from the nude.
eyes; how wise those old artists werer'
t'Wise?,'
why, yes; they had sense enough to
know the dresses of the period would go out
of fashion, so they omitted them. Omaha
World
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
Not Favorable to Strikes.

81 told you this morning that would
whip you if you were not good boy to-day,
did not, Johnnie?''
eyes, sir"
''And you have been good boy?''
eyes, SIR
''Was it because you wished to please me?''
''No, sir. -
"What then, Johnnie?''
Because don't believe in encouraging
strikes. Detroit Mercury
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-18
9ORl KAN.

Who deems himself a happy man,
Happiness in him lies;
But wisdom has small part In him
Who fancies himself wise.
It'd Bits.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02
Missionary Activity.

The American Baptist Missionary Union,
which closed its annual session at Minneapo-
lis on Tuesday counted up its missions, its
workers and the result Of their work. with
out any doubts and discussions over the
probable fate of such heather as have not
yet been reached by the Baptist or any other
missionaries. The net result of the work for
the year 1886 is an increase Of twenty-five
missionaries, forty-fve churches and five
thousand three hundred and seventy men,
bers. In all the Baptist missions to the
heather ffty-four stations and nine
hundred and seventy-four out-stations
are supported. These are scattered all over
the earth, large part Of the work being in
the far East. The distribution Of the Bap
fist missionaries and the work they hav
done is shown below, the nine hundred and
fifty preachers supported by the Union in
Europe being counted in the column of mis-
sionariac
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02

The Toronto Globe argues that the best
safeguard the Canadians can provide against
annexation to the United States is COM
mercial union between the two countries. 1t
says:
Unrestricted Reciprocity with the United States
would give Canada all the material advantages
that annexation could yield. 1t would leave The
Canadian political fabric and British connection
Intact. Nay, more, it would destroy the tempta-
ton to annexation. Though the CONSCIOUSNESS
that money could be gained by entering the great
Republic has not undermined Canadian patriot
ism and loyalty no one will deny that a change in
sentiment may result from the perennial desire 10
obtain profit that never goes out OF view. 1t is
conceivable that the people Of Canada may grad
ually reconcile themselves to change Of ale
glance unless they find way Of obtaining other
wise what it would give them. The best Cana
dams, the best Loyalists are they who engaged
in the attempt procure for this country the adj
yantageS of Commercial without the disagreeables
Of Political Union.
OF a similar opinion is Sir William How
land, the head of one of the most prominent
business firms of Toronto and at one time
Dominion Minister of Finance Hehad new
or heard, he is reported as saying recently,
so much talk Of annexation as in the years
Immediately preceding the Reciprocity trea-
ty. Canada was desperately poor; the United
States was prosperous; Canada then talked
of the advantages of annexation. While rec
ipIOClIJ idStcu Tie Topic was not nanQleO,
and from 1861 to 1856 Canada was busy sup
plying goods Of many kinds to a nation that
was at war with itself. Immediately after
the abrogation!of the treaty, though Canada
was not so prosperous as she had been, she
saw nothing inviting in annexation, as the
war had left the United States enormously
10 debt and the taxes of the country had
been proportionatelv increased In neriods
of national depression there was liable to be
talk and even fear of annexation, but if
commercial union gave prosperity to Cana
da, and he believed it would, her people
would not bother about advocating annexa-
ton.
The attention which this subject is receiy-
ing now in the Dominion is very significant.
The newspapers are discussing it pro and
con with great assiduity, and it is getting
considerable attention from the prominent
statesmen of the two parties. The Melon
aid party which is generally opposed to
unrestricted reciprocity has based its strong
est argument against it on the assumption
that it would be but the prelude to anneXa-
ton, and that that would inevitably follow.
The Liberals who are generally advocates of
a commercial union, are now meeting the
Conservatives on their own ground, and ar
guing with considerable success that a COM
mercial union Instead of leading to a polit-
cal union, would be the ibest possible safe
guard against it.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02


There are.several particulars Of this re-
port which call attention to the energy and
heroism of the servants of the Missionary
Union. During the last year the British
have been exertiDg all their strength in the
East for the conquest Of Upper Burmah.
The country has been in state
of turmoil; rapine has been the only
thing established. Yet during these trying
times the Baptist missionaries have kept well
up with the van of the British army, and we
find them today, not only occupying the con-
quered territory, but pushing beyond it
among the independent tribes. The Shans,
lying to the eastward of the Irrawaddy as yet
have no fixed relations with the English gov
eminent, yet we find that the Baptist Union
already has among them nine missionaries
and two churches with fifty-three members.
On the other side of the globe, on the Congo,
even yet little known, we find a missionary
church of ninety members that have been col
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02

lected this year, and one of the steamers
which is now aiding in transporting Stan
ley's expedition for the relief of Emin Bey.
will on its return pass into the control of the
missionaries. The children of the American
Baptist Sunday Schools are paying for the
services of this steamer on the Congo, after
the example of the children of Congregational
Sunday Schools, who have subscribed to the
stock of the missionary steamer Morning
Star, that cruises continually in the South
Pacific In the present as in the past, the
missionary is not far behind, and is often
ahead, of the explorer and the conqueror.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02

There Is said to be clear understanding
between Gov. Hin and the New York Demo
cratic politicians that the former is to be re-
nominated for the goyernorship, and is to
put away his little boom for the Presidency.
AS the Governors boom was a wee-bit of a
thing the sacrifice causes him hardly pang.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-06-02

The Hon. William Z. Chandler seems TO
be the only candidate who is making an ac-
tive contest for the New Hampshire sena-
torship, and there is no doubt but he has a
large majority of the Republican members of
the Senate and House at his back. If a eau
Gus is held he will be nominated, and unless
there is subsequently bolt, elected. Sena-
tor Cheney, ex-senator Rollins and Gov
Marston are opposed to his aspirations, but
how much work they are putting in against
him does not appear. Apparently they are
conducting still hunt; and their hope OF de-
feating him lies wholly in the direction of
keeping the Republicans out of caucus.