Wichita eagle., 1887-07-02
THE BACHELORS CLUB.

We had formed club and were ENJOY
ing ourselves immensely. When / say we
mean myself and ten other forlorn spec
tmens Of the genus homo. I was the
youngest of the number, being but q
years of age, and the others ranged from
that to SO. We were jolly crowd OF fet
lows, held regular meetings once each
week and enjoyed life as well as single
men could. ought to state also that we
were organized and equipped as literary
society.
'tBoys," said Stubbins on one occasion,
'sI've proposition"
We affectionately requested "Stub." as
he was called, to unbosOm himself.
''Stub has it, boys" he proceeded to
say. ''It's glorious idea"
s'Give it in broken doses, Stub" sug-
gested the secretary.
"And three hours apart" added the
vice with wink.
We all roared. Stubbins was notori-
ously slow about communicating his ideas,
especially good ones. But it came at last.
'It is this, boys. We are members OF
what is known as the Bachelors club.
Now, why are we bachelors? Why the
dickens is it we are not married and livin'
with the wimmen folks? Why didn't ]
marry?"
''Perhaps you couldn't" said an unfeel-
ing wretch in the corner.
"He probably never came within speak
ing distance of a woman On account of SO
large circumference between the hip and
ribs" said another villain.
''It requires good looks to marry"
added third, with wicked chuckle.
The unfortunate orator gave his tor
menters a whitening look of scorn and
proceeded:
'sMy plan provides that we shall each
relate, in turn, whatever experience we
may have had in love affairs. Give true
and complete history, one story to be told
at each successive meeting of the So
ciety."
"Capital!' said I, drawing forth my
note book. sI'n write up the best OF
them"
''Put it in the form of motion" yelled
the bald headed member, ''and let the
vote be unanimous.
Moved and carried. President, white
as a rag, requested to appoint the first
victim. ''Stub' selected.
"Men and brethren" said he, 'T never
had any experience with the fair sex. 1t
Lad fair be g, but a most disas-
trous ending. i G ade me what I am. In
my case thing - not what they seem,
for, notwithstanding my looks, circum-
ference and such things, 1 fell in love
years since, and-married.
This announcement was followed by the
combined exclamations:
''Marriedr'
''Not bachelor!"
GA fraudr'
'sHear me through" said "Stub, " "and
then lend me your sympathy. l am not
such a great fraud after all. My unfor-
tunate lot in life, my friends, is due to
the fact that two people, in my day and
generation''-
Somewhere B. c." interrupted the
villain in the corner, who was forthwith
fined ten cents for violating section thir-
teen of the constitution.
and generation, had the same
name," Stubbins continued. eff it had
been different my life would not have
been such a wreck. 1 might have been
a-a''-
"Father," suggested the ten cent man
in the corner. He was fined twenty-five
cents this time, and thereafter held his
peace. The orator rallied.
cit came about in this manner While
yet in my teens fell in love with sweet
little blue eyed girl of 16 summers. !
think fairly worshiped the little maid,
and as she returned the sentiment, we
were in due time engaged.
''But l was poor. My parents were
hard working people; but, having large
family to care for, they could endow NE
with no great earthly possessions. On my
21st birthday 1 found myself free, and
penniless Herewith.
''On that day I received letter from
an uncle in the city Offering to me a posi-
ton in large establishment which he
controlled. He informed me that 1 had
now an opportunity, if all went well, to
make money eventually, and to come into
q place Of honor and preferment. He I'M
posed one condition, viz: 1 was not to
think for one moment of marrying during
the next two years following. AT the end
of that time l might marry, he said, and
he would offer no objection to it proyid-
ing made wise choice.
''Such was the proposal. I saw an in
viting field opening up before me. To re-
fuse would be madness, though two years
did appear long time to wait for my dear
little affianced wife.
s'That evening 1 called to see Jennie
Crane, my promised wife. We read the
letter, talked Of the advantages and
agreed that it was just the thing for me.
l would go, she would wait, and two
years hence there would follow the peal OF
wedding bells.
1--WE renewed our vows and separated.
And. gentlemen, that was the sorest hour
of my life. l can see, even yet, the bright
blue eyes filed with tears, upon which l
looked for the last time. Her whispered
'Goodby' fell upon my heart like q
bhcht.'
Stubbins paused a moment, his voice
husky with emotion. The stern old
bachelor, ridiculed by thoughtless ones so
often, had sacred memory in his heart
that could only be viewed through the
dim mist Of unshed tears, and recalled
the hallowed warnings for his sometime
loved and lost one.
81 came here" he presently added,
"and applied myself to business. In my
uncle found kind friend, and we built
up a sturdy friendship. He was an IN
married man, had no home Of his own
and l had to take lodgings, much to my
disappointment.
milne host was a grim old fellow BY
the name Of Crane. His words were as
the sands Of the sea shore for number.
he hardly reserved time to eat, and came
near choking on one occasion by getting a
large word and some steak united in a
horrible combination. This trait had
been faithfully transmitted to his daugh-
ter.
Jennie Crane was her name, the same
as that % my affianced; but she was as
different rs day is from night She talked
two si>.xx Il.