San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1887-03-24
"a Custom More Honored In the Breach
Than the Observance"

Customs, once they are rooted firmly,
defy all efforts to overthrow them, and
continue TO exist In spite OF common
sense. Fashion, the completest despot In
the world, by adopting a custom, COM
pels persons to conform to and follow Ii
even though they can ill-afford to do So
Custom and fashion require, that a
family that has lost member by death,
should go into mourning. This necessi-
tates the purchase OF mourning goods
and the making OF them into clothes,
which requires a considerable expendi-
ture Of money. People with plenty OF
money can expend II In any manner
they may choose, without Inconvenience
ing themselves. and may even lavish 1t
upon trifies, and II persons SO situated,
see fit to wear mourning for their rela-
tives and friends, IL is no concern OF the
public. But the case Is essentially differ
ent with persons In embarrassed cir
cumstances or In poverty; they have
no surplus funds, and If they
go into mourning, the money thus ex-
pended is just SO much diverted from
the purchase Of the necessaries Of life
or the payments OF their debts. and is
sure to pinch them more severely. III
the family does not go into mourning,
the failure to do so 10 commented upon
with more freedom than kindness and
Is ascribed to indifference to the dead,
or to niggardliness, and the knowledge
that such comments will be made by
Mrs. Grundy and her numerous progeny
Is mortifying to the surviving relatives
Of the dead. Hundreds and thousands
are 10 this manner forced, contrary to
sha.r t..Is 20
their interests. to go into mourning. No
one can defy fashion and custom with
immunity, they thereby make themselves
targets for the poisoned shafts OF the
censorious and the gOssiping portion OF
the community. Ii requires deal OF
moral courage to act contrary to fashion
and custom, and moral courage is ex-
tremely rare, as all that are conversant
with mankind must admit.
Men who would lead a "forlorn hope"
without a particle OF fear, often lack the
moral courage to brave temporary
outcry-womeD, who would risk
their lives in order to save the life OF a
child, want every element of moral
courage and power before a shadow OF
opposition. Even when their con-
sciences tell them that they have done
wrong to fellow creature, numbers of
really brave men do not possess moral
courage enough to confess their error
and repair the wrong. But, 1t requires
the highest degree OF moral courage In
man or woman, to fly In the face of fash.
ion and custom when they are In con-
junction.
As Tacitus truly said, that men are
governed more by example than by pre-
cept, will relate case that happened
In San Antonio, within my personal OBJ
servation, which aptly and forcibly H.
lustrated the folly and ruinous effects OF
going into mourning when persons are
poor. After an illness Of eighteen
Notwithstanding which he was confined
TO his room In a state OF utter
helplessness, physically, and In
such extreme poverty as not even to
possess sufficient bedding, the head OF a
family died from consumption, leaving a
wife and two children. More Implicit
and rnfaltering trust In the goodness Of
God was never displayed than by this
pOverty-stricken and emaciated victim
repining fell from his lips. Not cloud
bedimmed the horizon of his future. He
entered the dark valley of the shadow
OF DEATH" without a single misg giving or
fear.
Christians raised the funds necessary
to give b im decent burial and to supply
his wife with q small sum for immediate
wants. His widow was an industrious,
virtuous and piOus woman, and had
tOiled very hard to support her sick hus-
band and her two small children. Well,
she used most OF the money that had
been raised for her in purchasing mourn
ing for herself and her children. and she
did this when she had to toll for her
"daily bread" She could not disre-
gard an established custom aud her rem
nant of pride.
Poor womap aha ovartasked her
strength. already imDaired. she worked
when she shonId have been enioving
mncb needed rest sha SHRINK from ssk'
inc for aims and a few months of toll
CONSIGNED her hodv IN the grave along
side Of her husband RI there he no
future distrihntion nj Rewards and nm.
isbment this connie nod hard fste a,
this life ~
This examnIe should have M ANAL
weight with nersons In straiobtened
circ9mstancas I trnst II will dissnads
many from rnnping into the ssme foiIvN
for sncb II was
Wsorino nonrpino cannot no oF the
least service tn the dead If thew are
conscious nj ira hein0 worn thew ieriye
no Measure from it II the suryiyors
have NOT their hearts draped in mourn
inc and filled with tender regret and
grief the wearing of monrnin0 is fraud
and an act Of 0ross simuIation. II we
really and trnIS loved the dear ones of
our household we win mourn for them