, 1887-06-09
IN A HIGH PRICED RESTAURANT.
A Nervous Farmer wrestles with a Bill
of Enre-A Big nIIstAke.

A Nervous Farmer wrestles with a Bill
OF Fnre-A Big Mistake.
A farmer, racked between the serene con-
viction that he belonged to the only class of
people that has any real right to live and the
uncomfortable realization that he was in q
place where he did not know what TO do or
how to do it, wandered into the highest priced
restaurant in Kansas City Mt noon the other
day. A waiter deftly seated him before he
had decided whether or not to take off his
overcoat. A bill of fare was laid before him,
and be pondered 1t with the expression his
face would probably nave worn If he had
been given ten lines of Greek to translate
with the alternative of decapltation in case
Of failure. He glanced sidewise at a real es-
tate man who was waiting for his luncheon,
but found no relief in the impassive counte-
nance OF his table companion. Then he
looked upward covertly and found the waiter
regarding him with a stony stare. The most
utterly miserable man in Kansas City ut that
moment was the ruralist, although he deter
minedly refused to lose sight of his convic-
ton that he was the salt of tho earth, while
real estate men and restaurant walters were
a very inferior sort of condiment he FUN
bled tho bill of fare in hopeless confusion.
Then he cleared his throat and said to the
impending waiter:
bANS JcN N"h bLhhhc VIII III Dtth All
cabbige.n
Corn beef an cabbage" echoed the waiter,
with no change of countenance. A right,
sir"
"Hole on a minute" said the farmer nerv-
ously, rs his eye caught a familiar line on the
card, gimme salt mackerel instead o. the
corn beef an cabbige."
2 salt mackerel; all right, SIR" said the
waiter.
AN, hole on agin," said the farmer,
rapidly gaining confidence In himself as he
noticed the walters obsequiousness. Then,
with something Of a domineering tone, he
added: "Don't be in so much of a hurry.
Bring me n line o. vegetables with the mack
erel, o. course"
"What vegetables will you have, STRIP asked
the waiter.
"Why, vegetables for a meal, O. course.
Some 'sparagus an some corn an some let's,
an some string beans, an'-got any new
potatoesf7
ayes, sir"
Some new potatoes an some green peas
an some onions an some cabbige an all o.
things that goes to make up a meal" said the
diner, with mental visions of the infinitesimal
quantities of "side Dishes that he had en-
countered in a regular dinner twenty-five
cents" house
IAN right, sir" said the imperturbable
winter with a reassuring drnwl of the "all.r
After waiting several minutes, during
which the ruralist relapsed into his uncom-
Portable self-conscious condition, the waiter
arrived with the order. The diners eyes
bulged with establishment when he saw half
tho table covered with huge plates bearing
the items Of his dinner. Aftor staring hope
leSsly for a minute be began to eat, over
whelmed by the conviction that there had
been e gigantic mistake somewhere. When
be had finished, provender for an ordinary
family remained untouched. The waiter
slipped q check unde the edge OF his plate.
and the wretched man took it up clandestinely
and looked at the amount of his bill. 1t was
in the neighborhood Of s2.5o.-Kansas City
Star.