The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1887-04-14
LIMEKILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Furnishes q Wretch Found
Guilty of Stealing an Umbrella.


Guilty Of Stealing an Umbrella.
Previous to the opening of the meet
ing Brother Gardner, Sir Isaac Wal
pole and Waydown Bebee were seen in
earnest conversation around the presi-
dents desk, and when the triangle
sounded it was pretty well understood
throughout the room that soEle mat
ter of gravest Importance was on the
tapis. One individual seemed to feel
even more than lively curiosity.
This was Brother Process Davis, q
member of about six months standing.
He jammed himself into a corner and
tried to appear as small as possible,
and when inquiries were made about
his sore heel he let on that he had an
awful toothache and didn't want to
talk. Scarcely had the meeting OPEN
ed when he was called to appear at the
presidents desk. The look of terror
which came to his face as he rose up
proved that he regarded the matter III
very serious light, and he shuffied up
the long aisle like one going to an exc
cution.
''Brudder Process Davis" said the
president in very solemn tones, lat one
of our weekly meetin's last fall. an as
we war about to disperse TO our homes,
Sir Isaac Walpole diskibered dat his
umbreller was missin'. It was an UNI
breller wild white bone handle, an it
was an heirloom in his family. His
gran 'fadder had walked under dat UNI
breller, an it had kept de rain off his
fadder, an he himself had owned it fur
nigh upon thirty y ars. 1t had been left
in kyars an on steamboats, an on de
front doah steps, an nobody had took
it. He had brung it down heah two
hundred times, an it war allus waitin'
fur him when he got ready to go home.
At las some one stole it-some human
hyena laid his desecrated paws on dat
sacred relick an bore it off. We made
cherry effort to find it, but de hunt was
in vain. Den we settled down to wait
for Justice. She nebber sleeps. She
sometimes does good deal of foolin'
around, an dar am sometimes mighty
| long wait between de ackts, but she
nebber sleeps. She didn't go to sleep
dis time. She war lookin' fur you, an
yesterday she oberhauled you. You
had Sir Isaac's umbreller under yer
arm. Heah am de libin' proof to con-
vict you! You are de hyena who stole
it, an you are now befo' de bar Of
Justice! Prisoner, how do you plead?''
! Process stood there with his mouth
open and could not reply. The sudden
shock seemed 20 have paralyzed him.
His guilt was as plain as the hind but
| tons on a coat.
"De pusson who will steal an UNI.
breller under any circumstances, con.
tinued the president, ''desarves condine
punishment. In dis case you stole il
from fellow-member of society, an
you added de sin of lynn to your crime
Your name will be crossed off oul
books, an you will enter dis hall nc
mo- foreber. De carryin' out of de res
of de sentence am left to Giveadam
Jones an Hercules Johnson"
The prisoner was removed to thu
ante-room, and about minute latel
Paradise Hall was shaken from roof tt
cellar. This was followed by bump
ing sound on the stairs leading to the
alley, and this again by the sound O
fee- making a rush for life. Brothel
Process Davis will doubtless remain il
Canada during the rest of his life.-
Detroit Free Press.