The Arizona sentinel., 1887-11-05
THE COIN OF SOCIETY.
A Comprehensive Definition of the Mystery
 nr GoOd Breeding.

all-pervadlnG is that lovely thing we call good breeding. As subtle and as indescribabla, but by no means frag- rant, is its ungainly opposite. Keenly conscious of the absence of the former, but unable to exactly specify and de- fine when present. we know and feel, but can not analyzc nor tabulate-savo in cases of exceptional sweetness and refinement, when we can touch the ex- action and repeat the commanding word which governed all So with ill- breeding. We can scarcely say where it was unless the demeanOr was as deep as q well and as wide as church door; but there it was, and we felt and knew whether we were able to define it or not. No one can describe discord nor harmony. So with the mystery of good brceding-the subtle harmony and passing flavor of trIe politeness. It IS heard in an intonation-an infection in the choice of one worI over another seemingly its twin. bat with just that difference of application, rather than meaning. which creates the es- sence of good breeding. The almost microscopic recognition of a stranger-the specialized attention of an unObtrusivc kind-is its evidence; the careless neglect of an apparently insignificant form is its dcath-warrant. To be the only stranger in room full of Ofintimates and to be unintrOduced and neglected is an act of ill-breeding specially Britannic. If by chance one more kind-heartcd to begin with, and more polished lg friction to go on with, takes pity on the poor social waif ani stray, and off.rs any attention or reels off the thread of conversation, that person has this marvellous charm we call good breeding, in which all the rest have been deficient. When you enter room and are presented to the hostess her reception of yol proves her good breeding or her bad. The way her chil- dren meet you-the way in which, at any age beyond the meresJ babyhoOd they speak and hold themselves-is so eloquent of their gentle training or un- gentle as is q correct accent or q pro- vincial. No idiOsyncrasy mars the real essence of good breeding, and all the excuses male for lapses and lesiOns are futile. A well-bred person may be as shy as q hawk and her limbs may be a5 awkwardly hung together as so many crooked sticks badly pinned. All the same her good breeding will be evident, and neither her shyness nor her awk- war,lness will tell against it. Thougi it costs her the well-known aronies to sustain connectc1 conversation, and though by the very fact of her shyncs5 her brain will run dry, she will sustain it with the most consummate politcness. if not ai- ways with the most hawle5S tluency. She will put . restraint on herself and talk her best. bad as that best may be, because she is versed in the art and mys- tery of good breeding, and thinks of others rather than herself. But an ilt- bred person, if shy, is simply bOOrisi. and makes no trouble to conquer the dumb demon within him, but gives way to it and lets it conquer him at it's pleasure. You feel that the excuse made for him-or her-by those who want to smooth over asperitieS with varnish--that excuse of being so "dreadfully shy" is no excuse at all. For you know by experience bow sweet and anxious to be supple and at easo- for all the pain it costs her-can Dc that veil bred bundle of nerves and fears, who is as tinid as q hare and as sensi- tive as a mimosa, but also who is as thoughtful for others as the boor is dis- regarding.
 Cool breeding is the current coin of society. H. who is bankrupt therein ought not to take Tank with the rest. The defaulting Lombard had his bsnch broken in full conclave, and was chased out of the street where his better en- lowed brethren carried on their busi- ness. What tho old money-changers and monev-lenders did with their de- ! Faulting members society ought to do to the ill-bred-to the people who op- pose all you say for the mere sake of opposing you, and not for any thing approaching to q principle; who contra dict you fatly. and do not apologize when they are proved in the wrong; who tell you home truths of q bilious complexion and vinegar aspect who repeat ill-natured remarks made in their presence, or repeated to them. making ! you feel that you are s;orled aat ! despised you know not why, and vilifisd without tho chance given you of self Justification; who abuse your known friends. and ascribs to them all the sins l of tMe Dscalogue; who brutally attack yonr known principles in religion morals, politics; who sheer at your cherished superstitions and fall foul or vour confessed weaknesses; who take i the upper hand of you generally, not counting your susceptibilities as worth the traditional button. Such people as these-and there are many ot them masouerading as ladies and gentlemen of good position and irreproachable credentials-but no matter what their lineage nor fortune they should be cashiercd; and society would be all tEe sweeter and more wholesome for the want of them. Contrast these spiny hedgehogs, these aggressive thorn