The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1887-05-21
IfE HsfBOROTs PRESS.

IhE HGBOROTs PRESS.
"TALKs About Law" is the title OF a
new book. The man who has lust
paid the bills for a law suit does, and
what he Gays isn't likely to be very
complimentary either. = Louisville
| Journal
"LooK at that rabbit, ma" said
| little Tot, as she curiOusiy watched
| the peculiar twinkle" of the animal E
! features; every time he stops to smell
| anything he seems to stutter with his
nose. "-ROnkcrs Gazette.
THE Dispatch announces in q head
line that two arIstoCratic families OF
Philadelphia are torn up 1t is pleas
ant to learn that, unlike their lrish
| compeers, our own nobility are actu-
ally bothered by surpluease OF rent.
-PIttSburg Chronicle
THE story goes that a young man
IN Allahabad proposed to young
lady IN Calcutta by telegraph, add
ing: Answer yes or no at my ex-
Fense." She sent him 900 words OF
explanation without coming to any
| cOncluslOn.-LOndOn Globe.
HE-"Don't you like Mr.. Tigers
play iug?" She-"No, | don't. He
plays Chopin ike stick" He-"But
that is perfectly proper" She" Why
| so ?" He-"I always understood that
Chopin was II Pole aud never pre-.
tended to be anything else. "-Ex.
change.
OLD GENTLEAfAN-"Her sir youare
a regular fraud. My hairs coming
out as bad as ever. This stuff Isn't
worth q continental" Barter-I did
not promise that it would keep your
hair from coming out. aaid it wouli
preserve your scalp. Your scalp'e
all There, isn't it ?"-Harper's Bazar.
"DocToR," said the sick man. "the
other physicians who have been in con-
sultatI0n over my case seem to differ
with you in the diagnosis" II know
| they 40" replied the doctor, who has
great confidence III himself, "but the
| autopsy will show who is right -
New York Sun.
lS Bermuda-Poetic caller (who has
come down on the last steamer
"What is that balmy, spicy odor that
waits IN at the easement and seems to
send the new life spinning through nv
sluggish Northern blood ?" Practical
caller (who has been there three weeks
-"Onions. "-Ti7-Bits
CHOW, Job" said Mrs. Shuttle,
"Those trousers are altogether too
big for the boy. They'll have to be
changed" NO, they won't. They IRE
ali right. | bought 'em wne.e they
| advertise Boys clothing &c play in
They are just big enough for him to
| play IN without going out OF doors
They're 20 rCOmy.-Hartford Post.
4 MAY not DC 50 eloquen5 as some
| of them" said the Senator from Mid.
/ dletOrk, "hut when I make q speech
nobody is able to answer it. VERY
/ likely" replied the honorable Senator
| from Hampsex. old you ever hear
OF 6n echo to nOthing?" The Sena-
tor from Miidlefork IL still wondering
what the honorable Senator on the
lett was driving at.-Boston Trans
| cIIpt.
MAMMA" asked little Edith, 'is
/ difficulty 3 real nice medicine -
| 'Why, Edith, what put such ridicu-
| lOus idea into your head ?" "Uncle
George said last night that his little
| boys lie was saved with difficulty,
| and | was wondering if It was any
nicer than the nasty stuff you made
me take when | had the measles. -
| Boston TrauSCriUt.
ONE Of the Boston Budgets drolI
small boys was making life a burden
to the quieter portion OF the family.
/ l..
oOIsterous,' called the mother, i'm
patiently. "Well, l don't want to be
girl-sterous," came the prompt retort,
and that mother wonders what she
has done to merit the sad visitation
OF being the parent OF a punster.
A YOUNG man escorted a young lady
to the opera one evening. AS they
were coming out he remarked by way
OF opening conversation, ado you
like the weather so cold and raw %
She must have misunderstood him.
Ives" she said. az like 'em raw; but, "
she continued, looking sweetly into
his eyes. don't you think they are a
great deal nicer fried ?" They took
'em fried.-COlUmbus Dispatch.
BASE BALL magnate-Want a Job
as umpire, Ell? Appicant-That's
what I'm after. ever umpire be.
| fore?" "No." "Play ball?" "Nev-
err" Then what are your qualifca,
tions ?" Il have been leader Of a
church choir for ten years" "Why
didn't you say so before? You're
! Just the man we've been looking for.
Consider yourself engaged.-Pjttsburg
| Dispatch.
Old Dowager to Miss Candor-"H How
, charmed | am to meet you. Where
| have you been keeping yourself this
| long time" Miss CandOr-"Why. /
saw you several times last season,
but | thought you had forgotten me. "
Old Dowsger-"No, my dear, no; but
my eyes have sadly failed" Miss
Candor-'It was my papa who failed
Now he has received his fortune you
see as well az you ever lid Elk.
They were On their way to the
theater, and she was TREMENDOUSLY hap
by. She felt that the words she sc
| longed to hear would be spoken that
night, and the idea made her almost
dizzy with delight. "Mr. Sampson,
she said softly, why do you wear that
bit OF string about your finger p
ooh" replied Mr.. Sampson, taking II
off, "that was to remind me OF my en-
gagement with you to night" 1t
wasn't much, but it was enough &c
take away the delightful dizziness
New York Sun.
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