The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-08-16
DEACON BURDeTTE.
His Little Talks Ont o. Meetin' On
Topics That Are Uppermost-
an NE PARSONAGE

| more rapidly than the choristeil
MADE DESPERATE RY HUNGER
4 well known and trustworthy citizen OK
Citra. Fla, saw large alligator come out Oh
thu water, dash among a drove Of hogs, take
the best one in the lot and eat him. The rest
Of the hogs then rallied, and attacked the
| alIiratof. killed him and ate him. That the
hog. should eat the alligator is not at all a
matter II surprise, but any man who has
| ever seen Florida hog can realize TO what a
frenzied pitch OF starving desperation the
alligator must have been wrought
so GOOD, PRINcEY.
| I'm one day last week, in the same issue OF
the same paper there appeared two very sug-
gcstive cablesrams from England. One said,
"The Prince If Wales is suffering from his
chronic complaint. lack Of money He Is
hard up" The other one said, The Prince Of
| Wales is DESTROYS Of meeting Mr.. Blaine and
has asked the American minister 10 bring
| him 20 Marlborough house" oh hol Is
roll ighness IS a goin' 10 fish in that hole, l.
hei Mr. Blaine, remember the legends in the
| stations on the Maine Central: DO not lend
money 10 strangers" "Dono cash checks or
change large bills for strangers" The Prince
/ Of Wales must indeed 10 on short commOns
his mother complains that she Is out two bob
and tanner on jubilee expenses, and the
whole Guelph family is expected 10 get along
without girl the rest Of the summer
TAKING CARE or HIMSELF
| A son Of Neptune who sails the ocean blue
on the good ship Earnmoor is In prison in
Philadelphia. While the ship was in quaran-
| tine the inzarettO physician ordered the crew
vaccinated One sailor refused 10 submit on
/ the ground that it was barharOus outrage
/ g. deface the human form divine, and he
would not have his person 50 marred. They
| Insisted. he resisted; he whipped four men,
/ but at la. they got him in prison and tied
him down. and he besought the doctor with
tears in his eyes 10 vaccinate him where it
wouldn't show In searching for quiet re
tired spot, not already preempted, they
found tattooed on the tars broad breast, in
red and blue, snip under full sail; the god
does o. liberty on his right arm; the Amer
icau II arms and a girl on his left,
/ foul over his heart; the American flag
ON o.. . the signs OF zodiac around bis
waist. aiI the rest Of his cuticuar territory
/ spangIed with stars, crescents, anchors aud
mermuids The doctor vaccinated the sensi-
tive son of the sea on the end OF his nose,
the ouly bare place he could find
TIcKLED WITH a STRAW.
When Thomas CARLYLE wasn't snaring-
which was most of the time-he was fawning.
Did you see the letter which has been recently
published, in reply 10 a very commonplace
note from Bismarck congratulating Thomas
upon having reached his 10th birthday before
| growing himself 10 deathi Carlyle writes
how he "was honored" with "the most pleasing
Of all letters" letter, "the most remark
able.r "the noble, wise, sincere and magnan-
imous letter. which he read with a great
ami lasting Joy" And so on and so on, worse
and more Of IL. The spectacle Of Carlyle
wriggling Ia q very ecstasy Of battered
delight az the feet Of Bismarck shows the
man IN one Of the two attitudes natural TO
him. However, whats the good Of working
ones SELF into a passion about III He's dead
now. He would have seemed a greater man
had he died sooner-before he learned to
write letters would have been a good time.
OBSTRUCTIVE AND SUGGESTIVE,
Last Sunday the Rev. Hippolytus Smooth
text. b. T., Of the church Of st Sleepars
preached an anniversary sermon which We
can comuueud 10 all pastors who are given 10
preaching anniversary sermons as o model OF
it, kind. True, il dti not possess that I'M
fathomahie depth u bottomess profundity
and lmiticss breadth Of encyclOpcdical cru
diti0u so characteristic Of the discursive ex-
po,itions Of the Rev. Philetus Dobbs d. D.,
but nevertheless, taken all In ALL It may be
considered q model anniversary sermon
Especially instructive and suggestive were
the statistics which, so FAR as We have OBJ
served. were II a kind never before intro
duced IN a discourse Of this nature, and it Is
10 this model feature Of the sermon that we
desire especially to direct the attention Of
young ministers who have yet 70 make their
mark IN anniversary efforts. The Rev. Hip
polytus Smoothtext, b. A.. In reviewing the
work Of his pa,torate stated among other
thing, that he had, during the year Of his
Christian ministry just closed, preached l0i
sermons. Is mortuary dlscourses. solemnized
2l hymeneal ceremonies, delivered II lectures,
Of which Is were on secular and all the others
ON religious subjects, made 81 addresses, Of
which all but y were on matters most nearly
touching the vital religious concerns OF the
church: hal read aloud IN public lj6 chap
tiers Of the Bible, l49 Of which were very long
ones had made pastoral calls, 3l2, taken tea
on such occasions, BIZ times; distributed s0i
tracts: visited the sick several times sat on
tn platform at temperance and other public
meetings A. times had the headache Sabbath
morning AID so compelled 80 appear before
hi, people in condition OF physical pain,
nervous pr0stration and bodily distress that
utterly untitled him for public preaching,
l04 times. picnics attended, 10, dinners, 81,
suffered from attacks Of malignant dyspep-
sia. 30 times; read as hymns, instructed
. the choir in regard 10 selection Of tunes, |
time: had severe colds l04 times; sore throat,
p i0f times. malaria, 1914 times. had written
. 3.I2O pages Of sermons, declined invitations
10 tea. l time, started the tunes IN prayer
meetings. times. started the wrong tune, ?
times; sang hymns that nobody else knew, 2
times: received into church membership, 81
e dismissed by letter, -; expelled, lG; strayed
E or stolen, 80.
NIRvASA.
lam
4 clam:
, Come learn Of me
Unclouded peace and calm content,
Serene, supreme tranquility,
{ Where th0ughtless dreams and drcamless
thoughts are beut;
When tho 1qif tide * rising 10 the Hood