Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1887-04-02
N
.-Unaocommodat.ng Chiefs - TT
Lunch Route.

WASHINGTON.
.Unaocommodat.ng Chiefs - The
Lunch Route. |
Special Correspondence Of the 1srra.oorAx.
WASHINGTON, March 23.-In quest of
an item Of legitimate news for a pron-
,nent easter daily paper I walked into a
government Office on Saturday and
asked the assistant chief Of q division
for he desired information. To all my
inquiries he replied, II don't know any
thing about it." Patience 4s a charm.
ing virtue here in Washington and !
gave the young n lots Of rope, stay
ing with him for at least ten minutes.
Then his chief was called upon and also
proved himself a similar cnurl. Meth
or of them would give an item unless it
we're choked out of them. Then all the
Irish in my Dutch blood arose and I de-
termined to do something. I called on
the secretary, a man who has enough
sense to know that q newspaper man is
a good fellow to keep OF the right side
of, He sent for the official obstruction.
lists and informed them that there was a
God in Israel. The information was
forthcoming, and before leaving them
John Smith would have been exceed
ingly unhappy had he not said: "You
internal ~rascals, when your predecessor
was here he was a gentleman. II you
ever obstruct q reporter again in his le-
climate pursuit Of news there will be a
successful effort made to get your
scalp" And there WILDE. Other news
paper men have complained of the
same churls, but mono of them have yet
gone right, to headquarters. When the
serfs Of the republic forget that they are
serfs and servants they are unfit to fill
their places. Then it is time to turn
the fools out and and to put the rascals
in again. 80
Agovernment clerk who resigned his
Office about a year ago because he was
offensive as. q. partisan, has. been doing a
good business yer since and living an
out door life which has made him a
great deal stouter and healthier in ap-
pearance. This morning when he went
into the Office where he was formerly
employed and where he was still very
popular. one of the Democratic clerks
iokingly remarked "Jones, you are
looking remarkably we'll. How do you
manage to keep so fat without govern
ment position?" To which the ex-clerk
replied II am working five free lunch
routes in the city and they are all in the
frst-class places. I live high" Then
US he was turning to 60 he added: "By
the way, Mants, I intend to turn over
those free lunch routes to YOU in 'S9, as
you will need them" 1t was all good
naturally said and there was a shou,
and roar all over the Office.
While telling of the government clerks
let us have another story. George Scott
and Doc Poorman are chums and cron.
les and work in the same room. Scott
is u joker from Joketown and gets off a
lot Of richness. His latest is: "You
should have see Poorman this morn
ing. He had chills. He shook and
trembled like a dog sitting on a needle
and nothing could warm him. Finally
I got cold myself and had 400 or 500 vi.
brations to the second. l said, Poor
man, we are on the verge Of the tomb
and the tumor must be removed. We
must take a medicine lunch together
At noon we started out and got GU,
medicine lunch. We bought two pints
of whisky and put two grains Of quinine
in it and mixed it up. Then We sa,
down to drink as long as there was q
taste of quinine in the whisky. The
taste stayed there until We got to the
bottom of the bottle. 1t worked like q
charm. When we got back to the Office
sAl0IO wash y q oAli6lo SlAAiA Al CAVIIoI Ollc
of US. Any chill that would want more
quinine and whisky than we gave them
would be a hog. Any chill that would
come up i'll and ask for more medicine
would be a %monopolist. That kind of a
chill would keep cool on a redhot stove.
We don't deal in that kind of shakes in
this Office. I hope that We will both Of
US have chills tomorrow. 1t MAKES me
feel proud to knock the chills. J never
felt better in my life than I did after the
medicine lunch, when I had the proud
consciousness of having conquered the
ohllls. Poorman was proud too and
neither Of US felt like working. Wewere
too proud to labor"
Wonderful Development.
Streator (Ill.) Ires Press.
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