The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-29
BRIGHT BITS.

SCHOOL TEACHER, Illustrating the difference be-
tween plants and animals-PlantS are not suS-
ceptible of attachment TO man as animals are
Small boy at foot of class-How about burrs,
teacherf-Erchdnge
HELLO, Smith! Did you know Boston's most
illustrious citizen was in town."
No. Is he going to play with the boys?
PLAY. the idea of DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes
30, pshaw! 1 thought you meant Kelly
BiItghamton Republican.
SUsIE-Oh, mamma, I'll never disobey you
again.
Mamma-why, Susie what have you done?
Susie-Well, drank my milk at lunch and
then ate-a pickle; and the milk said to the
pickle. get out - and the pickle said, Il won't,
and they are having an awful time.-LVe.
ONE day the children were having an object
lesson on the blue heron. The teacher called
attention to its small tail, saying, THE bird has
no tail to speak Of" The next day she asked
and little German girl wound up by saying:
THE blue heron has a tail, but it mus not be
talked about. ErchGRgc.
SHALL sing Kathleen Mavoureen' for you,
Augustus, dear:" she asked, after they had
been married something over year.
mo, you needn't mind
But heard you say the other day that you
liked that song ever so much"
Il do. Perhaps that will explain to you why
don't want to hear you sing it. ''-Merchdnt
Traveller
THE stars looked down on the slumbering town
AS softly to bed last night we crept;
He had yelled his fill, the house was still,
And we knew that the little tyrant slept.
SO gladl
But ~ stubbed our toe 'gainst the crib and 10!
A yell of twenty-lGng power
The stiffness broke, for the tyrant woke
And we walked the floor for another hour.
So mad! Boston Courier.
AsENT-Don't you wish to subscribe to this
South Carolinian-Reckon not
1T tells all abotit earthquakes. Here is a
picture Of Charleston just after the earth
quake"
What want is a picture showing how the land
scape looks just before the earthquake.
might learn to get out of the way. ''-TerdS Sift-
tnyS.
A FEW DAYS AGO there was small civil suit
tried before the Justice of Pizen Switch. 1t is
always customary in such cases to have the
winner of the suit pay the fees. The plaintiff,
a big, raw-boned rancher, was called upon to
pay the jury Of six 81 apiece He Immediately
Eyes, replied the Court.
Look a-here Judge, amt that sorter png it
on thick? l just paid four of them fellers $40
apiece. Do they want the earth, summer fall
lowed?"
The dead silence in the room was broken by a
slight smoker from defendants attorney. The
bailif called everybody to order and the jury
nled OUT WITHOUT asking TOT IeeS.-CufSOn (NeU.J
| Appeal.
To the question, "How's business?" the tailor
| answers: sew, sew; the acrobat, jumping; the
yachtsman, booming; the distiller, still; the
| baker, rising; the writing master, fiourishing;
the trial justice, fine; the apartment hotel
keeper, fat; the weather bureau clerk, fiuctu-
ating the plumber, piping; the gardener, spring
ing up; the furniture teamster, on the move; the
minister whose church is in debt, fair; the shoe
maker, awl right, with an upper tendency; the
| QQtlerer. and
the elevator boy, now up and now down: the un-
| dertaker run into the ground; the doctor, re-
covering; the cobbler, on the mend; the astrono-
| mer, looking up; the lobster catcher, gone to
pot; the cooper, (w)hooping her up; the aero
naut, going up the diver, going. down.-Bostor
/ Courier