The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1887-06-17
VARIETIES.

-Brown-"Your trousers are pretty short,
Tom" Tom-"Yes; but I'll soon fix that"
"How?" "Wear them little longer"
81 wonder what makes these buttons
burst off sol" Dora petulantly exclaimed.
David looked at her tight dress. "Force of
habit" he said softly.
-Perseverance can sometimes equal genius
in its results There arc only two creatures,
says the Eastern proverb that can surmount
the pyramids-ihe eagle and the snail.
-!"Well, old fellow, it's all settled. am
going TO be married in two months. You
will be one of the witnesses, Hope" "Count
upon me. l never desert friend in misfor-
tune"
"A clergyman who married four couples
in one hour, the other evening" remarked to
a friend that it was "pretty fast work." mot
very" responded the friend. "Only four
knots an hour"
"A strong-minded female, who was argu-
ing the other day that the condition of
married woman was slavish, was effectually
silenced by her opponent, who said, at is not
slavish, but it is high-menial."
Professor Ito class in SURGERY 1.-THE
right leg of this patient, as you see, is shorter
than the left, in consequence of which he
limps. Now, Mr.. Sorter, what would you
do in case of this kind p Sorter-"Td
limp, too"
-"Do you like lambs ?" he asked her in
pastoral voice during lull in the converse
tion They had been discussing the charms
of country life. NO" she answered, 81 don't
like the meat, but am passionately fond OF
the gravy"
Minister Ito a boy who is digging for
worms)-"Liltle boy, don't you know that it
is v<vng TO work on Sunday, except in cases
of necessitys' Boy (going on with his dig
10 q roc fNf cc;tt A fnIIn
can't go fisbin' 'thout bait"
Profound philosophy is sometimes met
with in unexpected places A poor old man,
who was engaged in out-of-door labor that
evidently paid but apititul return for many
weary hours of arduous work, was overheard
to remark feelingly to fellow-laborer: 81
wish could live two lives, and have the last
one first"
"A sensible" woman, as DR.. Abernethy
would have called her, was discovered by a
shy man, who made her rather original
proposal. He bought wedding ring, and
sent it to the lady, enclosing sheet OF note
paper with the brief question, docs it ftp"
Beautifully"
"A Psychologist has launched a theory
that woman's fondness for scents is due to
her defective sense of smell. 1t is matter
OF evolution. In the early stages of his physi-
cal and intellectual development man had to
employ his nose in pursuit of game, while in
woman, engaged in domestic work, the sense
OF smell was not exercised. 1t is said that
women, owing to their defective sense of
smell, can endure perfume which is quite
overpowering to men.
The expressions used by some boys and
girls, if written as pronounced, would look
like foreign language. Specimens of boys
conversations like the following may be called
shorthand talking: "Warcjego lastnight 2"
bladder skate" "Jerfind the ice hardin
good?" Yes, hard'nongh" "Jer goerlone?n
"No; Bilrn Joe wenterong." "Howlate
jerstay?" "Pastate" "Lemmeknow wen
ergoin, voucher? l wanter go'nshowyer
hewto skate" "H-m, ficoodn' skate bet
tern you I'd sell out'nquit." "Wen, we'll
tryeraCe 'pseefyercan."