The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-11-01
DEACON eURoETTE.
- cosrs ON the PROSECUTION.

.,er is discharged, and the sheriff will
t.,o hack his knife and tell the janitor
!. .harpen II for him. "
THE OHOsT AND THE ORIG.
~, .on. be uniformly serious in your con
.,,u with strangers II is an uncomfort-
..tnation 70 he in, having uttered
So, nttle pleasantly, to learn, from the icy
|.r ,hst congeals your hearts blood, that
,-. al, talking 20 that awful and human ice
me man who never jokes. There is only
lror.e thing in the world of horrors-the
IAN who always Jokes.
WITHOUT ARE DOGS"
What stuff people do write about dogs
~ g,iat Col Thomas Wentworth Higgin-
write, in Harper's Bazaar: How many Of
t,fi fo our friends with a love as mex
.lle and AS inextinguishable as that
.t.t .s,r dog gives % usf What rubbish
.n.sl 70 seems % me that when people be
.... addicted % dog worship they lose their
t. The dog loves the man who feeds
tar you may keep good, well bred dog
H.. r.ars then sell him, and in two months
H. ..nerhausiihle loven will be so far ex-
r...,.i and his "inextinguishablen love so
Earl, put ont, that the faithful creature will
ase ,oa out Of his new masters orchard.
man who confesses that his love
o. bis friends is weaker. and more
lash and less faithful than a dogs,
.-t. shamefully low estimate upon
friendship love % read the
,ro greatest books IN the world the Bible
.,f Shakespeare. neither Of them says any
a.r- good about dog. 10 isn't that dislike
f. because DON'T; like them but there is
..ha tendency Co., dog worship i'm these weak,
...Hnr times of pug and mastif that man
...I.. great deal Of wholesome corrective
Whaf. uar You once had O dog that Do
SOD suppose ann going 20 accept the state
mft. 0f men who once had, or whonow have
f..as evidenced You'll want 90 ten me
l..ta ha~ sou caught, the next thing /
.r.f f.lr dog, long haired, beautiful &C
. faithful creature he was. as ever made
raI f.e heart Of boy he used 10 trample
mm.r other peoples gardens and carried
I, lNelcome Hoas into your neighbors
homes he tore down climbing vines and dug
form .s and rats under the rose bushes and
sfen Do rained on him he smelled like the
Sling room Of a tannery. knew your dog.
t.nNILfNN Al fAlAsAN iniOAAH
.That is the charger asked the justice.
aWeH s9r.n said the officer, this man
Knocked the child here Until the gutter, thin
.t.t.f him all the way across the sthrect, an
tt.n kem mp wild EN- hc was batin' him wild
Pin. faH gate of a doomp Cart why did
.a assault the child, prisoner because
.. threw q stone at poor catn "What is
Ntf usrt "a militant hTNTIEf III
n. .ot thirty DAYS for sentiment and retlec-
n.n
VALUABLE AFFLCTlON.
What swells your face up 50 awfully,
ayr Jumping toothache" Doesn't it
mr~ Nearly kills me' "Come into my
Office. said the kind young dentist, and I'll
.ar. DO for you in minute" Don't want
tr.rr replied the boy, "wsnt 1t 20 keep
Boz, ut of school on the race days It's
mighty rough on Teller at nights, mister,
h.f wouldn't take ten dollars for this tooth,
ut tie same"
THE HOUR or TEMPTATION.
.Yoa can trust me now, said the penitent,
r.oufelv. 81 wouldn't tell lie TO save my
Ife~ But can You trust yOurselfF asked
nelasfor. anxiously, "a habit of exaggera-
non and preyarication isl Il can tell the
truth without struggle insisted the re-
formed man. "the season is about over, and
beside. some hound got into the store last
u.lt and stole my trout rod, the prettiest
thing you ever whipped a brook with;
weighed four and a half ounces, and in 1879
anieda seabass with it that weighed"-
But the minister had lighted candle and
gomez away 20 get his bell and book.
ANOTHER HEARTLEss EVICTION
N.t alone IN suffering Ireland and bleeding
Iowa does the curse of landlordism make
da-.nte homes and aching hearts. We have
n. learned. from sources that cannot be
doubted. that young Willoughby kitteredge
>arkhlossom, who has been boarding az Mrs.
Ha,bhacon's well known boarding house for
.1 weeks past, was last evening fired out OF
I, .apartmentsn by the landlady, who re
famed his Sunday gloves and cane, thus
nu,tmg the unhappy tenant into the street
lra.rcallv naked Mr. Stackblossom has
nrc been one of the social lights Of our city,
end his place at the suspender counter IS
vacant 90 morrow morning II viii be because
th.uor.t has come. A man can live upon
N.Ilff'Ntlf ANii an Aii'tNAAAAANN =
r.nd There is something that usually goes
with worst, but We do not know how TO
g,lt
EXECUTED WITH A PEN.
Cardinal
E.aratl the sliding rule Of men entirely great
TIe typewriter is greater than the sword
0It.d-WhO sw0red, my iordl
Cardinal
Ta. man who received the typewriter letter,
Iteprluters who set up the copy'
Na.l. words spelled IN the space OF one small IN,
NlalI tne letters piled on top ~ another,
I..fon Chinese sentence standing On its head.
Naat sense is there Ia thiss-" Rgwl Chops
mdwndS"
taIrei know 30 means The horse fell dead.
laaI the iexic0us weuse there's no such word
A.. .kbdtNaIsnf. yet full well know
DO stands, in this mans note, for information,
Itlye so learned the tangled language Of the
unr
I.af ll its iarson is writ plain for me;
lu. s0rt'y do / fear that learning 10,
have made hopeless wreck Of temperate
speech,
And lost my front pew standing In the syna-
E..ue.
S.. alb around this line Of cOnsonauts
Scared with lost capitals, the proof reader has
drawn
Hs awful circle with the pencil blue;
Stand od. while ON this correspondent heao
launch the cuss Of our composing Room.