Huntsville gazette., 1887-12-24
"BY THUNDER, WHAT A BUSTER :"

marry Will DC Inere Anu lliI great OIru L
want you to kill, clean and dress in your
very best STYLE
"rll do it, Deacon"
''Now, mindl I'm trusting you as no man
else would I understand that some Of
those goddess fellows of the village are go
ing to have turkey-raflle at the tavern to-
| night. One of the wretches had the impu-
! dence to come here this morning and offer
me five dollars for that turkey, just as he is.
told him I wouldn't take his weight in gold
for him, for that purpose. So you look
sharp; they're none too good to shoot him.
Now, Job, go ahead. Get boiling water and
knives, and any thing else you need, from
the kitchen. The hatchet is behind the
door. Work fast, and be just as faithful
and careful as though the turkey was your
own
| The brief December day was declining.
| 1t was almost sunset when Job Harl1ins,
with his preparations all complete, and his
| materials about him, bound the legs Of the
| VICTIM placed his neck over log, and with
one swinging blow of sharp axe, decapi-
tated him.
"Bravo, Job done like an old cavalry
| man! Was that the way you fellows used
| your sabers9"
| Job looked at the man who had just eau
| tiOusly climbed the rear fence of the dea-
cons premises. He had, in fact, been hid
den behind it for the last fifteen minutes,
overhearing the whole conversation.
Don't you bother me, Sandy Badger.
want to do this job quick and we'll Go way,
and lemme alone"
"You needn't be so tetchy, Job. Iguess
fellow might watch you. Seem you handle
the hatchet so cleverly put me in mind Of
the great cavalry fight I've heard you tell
Of Which was it!"
Any provocation to talk about his service
in the war was sure to draw Job out, as his
cunning tempter well knew.
"Don't know. Might have been Brandy
Station; might have been Yellow Tavern.
Both big fights
"Was you in both Of 'enl, Jobs''
eyes, indeed and in dozen other small
er ones"
(Which licked in those two."
''We did at the Tavern; t other one they
called kind of draw"
So the talk went on until the turkey was
cleaned and dressed. Holding it up by the
leg, Harkins said:
"Now, ain that beauty More n twenty
pounds dressed, | really believe"
''Splendldi' said Sandy. $50 now you're
done. JOB, tell US who commanded there at
Brandy?"
General Pleasanton, Of course"
"Fighting Gineralp'
"You bet," said the veteran, with enthu-
sasm.
" "Job-lets drink his health"
Mr.. Badger produced square flask. JOB
hesitated
:" / don't want to'
VII. All
done. You amt going back on your old
commander, be you:'
The argument was irresistible. Job
drank.
He was a lost man from that moment
His tongue was loosed; he talked and
drank, and drank again. The crafty rascal
piled him with the fiery stuff, merely max
ing pretense of drinking himself. He pro
posed the health of General Sheridan, and
Job enthusias :ically drank it. He drank to
the Army of the Potomac; to his Colonel; to
his Captain; to the old fighting st Mas
sachusetts Cavalry Near dark the Deacon
came out in the yard, and gazed with con-
sternation at the sight. Job Harl1ins was
leaning against the fence in maudlin con-
ditiOn the hot water was overturned,
hatchet and knives were scattered on the
ground
"Where is the turkey!" demanded the
irate proprietor.
'sFact is, Deacon" said job. with drunken
dignity" when (hic) got him dressed, he
(hic) few away"
The Deacon drove Job from the yard.
IT, FINDING IT.
Deacon Cleghorn was greatly angered by
this untoward incident. He knew enough
about the bad set, who, failing to buy the
coveted turkey, had stolen it. to be sure
that they would hide it beyond reach of
search warrant Christmas was rapidly ap-
preaching, and his main preparations were
vet to be made. TO his dismay he discov-
cred that he could purchase no kind OF a
turkey Never was Christmas so exten-
sively prepared for in that vicinity as in
that Centennial year. There was nothing
like fowl to spare, even to Deacon Cle3horn-
He went home and reported the case to
full domestic council.
80, what shall we do,' said Mrs. Cleghorn,
wringing her hands.
"And to think that Captain Bradstreet
will be here to morroww pretty Sally
pouted.