The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-25
BRIGHT BITS.

COLONEL" said well1nown citizen, "Im
sorry that they beat you for vestryman the
other day.
Il didn't make any effort to get the place."
the Colonel replied I'm fact told the boys
the other day that l was out of politics.
ArkdnSGC Traveller.
LADY WE'RE DE WERE American cousin, buying
dress goods (in doubt)-I really-don 't-know.
Stunning Salesgirl-It suits your style perfect
ly, miss.
American Cousin-Well, I'll take twelve yards.
Stunning Salesgirl (communicativelyl-
having dress off the same pattern myself.
American Cousin with emphasis)-I don't
wish the goods, thank you-and hounces out.
Stunning Salesgirl thinks, and thinks
Washington Critic.
mother TO her hopeful, land want to impress
you with the beauty of nature as shown forth in
her trees"
''Yessum, - was the response.
Don't you think that the trees are beautiful
when they spread their swaying branches and
green leaves heavenward!'
'Yessun, specially when they is cherry an
apple an peach trees.
II is impossible to get some children'S minds
above their appetites. Hartford Post
THE world at large has lost faith in Donnelly's
Baconian cipher The latest story relative to it
comes from Washington, and it is told by Col
Dudley as follows: Several Shakespearean eX-
perts in Washington have been much interested
in the work, and one of them especially took an
outline of Donnelly's key and applied it to AS
You Like tt Great was his surprise on one of
these essays to see the cipher form This Sentence
''Ignatius Donnelly will find it out" The dis
covery has created tremendous excitement in
circles that had hitherto doubted Mr.. Donnelly's
ability to find anything out.-,T Paul Pioneer
Press.
A BISHOP, curate and layman were fishing
in Canadian waters one very hot day last sum
mer. When it came time for luncheon the bishop
produced from under the seat of the boat a
| bottle-presulnably containing aDollinaris-
a lump of ice, which he proceeded to break into
small pieces. A broad smile played over his
heated face as he began to extract the cork from
| the bottle. The smile changed to an expression
of agony as the hot bottle shooting out its cork
| with a tremendous explosion, split from neck to
| bottom and lost its every drop With look of
heartrending appeal the bishop turned to the
| layman and exclaimed You're a layman; say
| it for Exchange.
| OMAHA MAN-Are you making fair living out
Kansas Man-Living? Why, I'm rich You
see there was a little piece of poor ground back
| of the dugout which was not fit for anything.
| Well one day brother Jake dreamed there was
| gold under it, and the next morning he offered
| me 800 for it, on long time Of course, for he
hadn't any money, and sold it."
''Weil, brother Bill heard of Jake's dream and
! bought the lot Of him for $1,000, in the same
| way, you know Then got scared and bought
| it back for 5000. Then | sold It TO Bill for S10,-
UUO, ana SO IL went on until a rev Gays ago Wnen
got the lot again and sole it to Jake for $780,
| 900. just think of it. No more farming
| for me-
but what security have you to show for all
| that value if Jake has no money!"
why. I've got a mortgage on the lot. -
! Omaha World.
| THE MODERN SCHOOL,
They look up like children
And say to each other:
Were famous; you're @ poet,
| And you know I'm another.
'Your lyrical talent is startling.
! AS for me, why, my
Dramatcalworlls are worthy
| place in the sky"
One praises the dainty dactyl.
Another the loud spondee,
And talks of other forms of rhyme,
AleXandrinc, Trochaic or Fiddledeedee.
| Quotes Homer and Pope in a critical tone,
And Caedmon and Dante.
| He thinks he knows better and can do quite as
well.
Now, can't he?
And they never know that in every age
Some stupid fools
Float along the sea of life
| Like f1sh-in schools.
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.