Workmen's advocate., 1887-03-26
DON'T DON THE HAT
UNLESS IT FITS YOUR UN-
 CROWNED HEAD.
Some People Who Don't Know Where They Belong -- Three, D0llar-a. Day Conservatives Don't
 Lie Awake Nights.
 Fight It Out.

Joseph R. Buchanan caught on to class of human curiosities in the last number of his Labor ERquirer, of which there are samples outside of Chicago. He says that the de- velopment of the social problem is attended by ludicrous as well as se- rlous situations. While the move ment is not a class one, it is never theless true that vast majority of its adheants are drawn from what society designates ''the humber walks of life." The amusing phase of the situation Is the difficulty which some people have in asccr- talnlng to what class they belong, and the tenacity with which they cling to the belief that they are liable to be robbed by some "social- lstlc contiscation scheme.'
 The most conservative class of citizens are the S3-a-day wage workers. They are degree--in their own estimation above those who get smaller wages. They main- tain that their proud position was obtained by hard work, and call upon the world to behold the result of brains coupled with energy and skill. This class IS reinforced by the frugal, economical workingmen- whom the press and pulpit pat upon the back-who have managed to save little out of their scanty earnings. With this hard-earned wealth they have purchased a lot and erected a home. They are taxpayers and property owners. Next comes the small merchant, the miniature cap italist, with his microscopic store and prospective sherif's sale.
 Probably the most ultra-conserva- tive class in the world, and the class for which all intelligent people have the most contempt, are the pam pered menials, the perfumed slaves of capital They abhor the name of labor party" and scorn to en- ter into a discussion of it's merits. The uniformed coachman, decked in the insignia of slavery; the rail- Toad conductor, trapped out in brass buttons and clothed in a brief authority; the commercial drummer, with his air of overweening superi- ority and condescending airs; the private secretary, aping the man. ners of his lord and master--these and many others have no use for movement whose object IS the eleva- tion of labor.
 A word with you, gentlemen of the more rafined and happier walks of life. The men, in whose brains was evolved the labor movement, did not place you among the class which are expressing and robbing the worker. Don't lie awake nights trembling for fear that in few years a covetous and barbarian horde will dethrone you from your present exalted posi- tions. Rest in peace. The process sion will pass by you without any great degree of enthusiasm. It is your masters we are after, not you.
 In all kindness, my ree-dollar- a-day friend, don't you think you think you are worth more? Would the advancement of your less fortu- nate companions in toll detract one particle from your enjoyment? IL should not. The realization of the principles advanced by the United Labor party would deprive no man of that which Is his own.
 Labor has enough natural enemies without the opposition of those who should befriend it's cause and pro mote it's interests. Labor has de- clared war upon monopoly, organ ized greed and legalized robbery. In the waging of that combat it asks the corporation of all who have suf- fered through these causes. It ex-