Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-29
DAILY HERALD.
All Sorts.

ALI Sorts.
Mrs. De Society--What a lovely
baby that is we just passed. Mrs. De
Fashion-Yes; it is mine. Mrs. De
Society-Indeed. Mrs. De Fashion
Oh, Pm sure Of it. | recognized the
nurse. e.--[Omaha World.
The Defeat of the Ghilzais: First
Pittsburg Mani see the Ghilzais
have suffered two more defeats. Sec
ond Pittsburg Man-Have they?
What club whipped them.-IPitts-
burg Chronicle.
Popular Among the People: He
tafter church )-"What a very eloquent
man the Rev. DIR. Whitechoker is
Miss Breezy. l was delighted with
him." She (of Chicago)-"Yes, there
are no flies on DIR. Whitechoker."
Young Artist with picture all ready
for the academn)-"There's a picture,
Charley, they won't hang up very
high" Charley-"No, indeed. l
don't suppose that picture would hang
up for more than $2.50 Traveller s
Magazine.
One view OF it-Robinson meets a
friend who lost his wife the day be-
fore-"A Allow me to offer my sympa.-
thies. Let me see-you were married
-" 'Thirty years" "Ah, yes, and
it's hard to lose wife just as one is
growing little used to her. Judge.
No show for anybody-"Did you
enjoy the regatta yesterday Was
no regatta yachts didn't sail. +" why
not" mo wind" Didn't they
have the rowing races, then?" mo
shells couldn't start" "Why not ?'
"Too much wind. ."-[Brooklyn Eagle.
Daughter-"There is only one thing
more astonishing than the readiness
with which Ned gave up tobacco when
we became engaged" Mother-"What
is the astonishing thing?" Daughter
-"The rapidity with which he took
it up again as soon as we were mar
ried."
He-Your friend, Miss Shawsgar-
den, of st. Louis, seems to be very
refined young lady, Miss Breezy
Miss Breezy (of Chicago)-Yes, Clara
is unquestionably genteel in most re-
spects, and in personal appearance al
most distinguee, but it would pain
you to see her eat asparagus.-lLlfe.
He Gave Up Calling: Brown" l
say, Robinson, are you still sweet on
Miss Tittleback ?" Robinson" I'm
afraid she didn't appreciate my visit.
"Why do you think SOP" " Well, the
last time | called she had an alarm
clock in the parlor, and had it set for
10 O'Clock. | have given up calling
there.-[New York Sun.
''Dear me, ate cucumbers for dinner
and l can taste them yet. exclaimed a
man noted for his penuriousnesst to his
clerk the other afternoon. "Well there
is one comfort" answered the clerk,
'syou are certainly getting your mon
ey's worth" That's so, replied the
cucumber eater, 81 didn't think OF
that."-lElmira Gazette.
In the French Senate-"Gentlemen,
think that in order to prove my point
it will simply be necessary for me to
name the Ministers who have held
Office in the last ten years" A voice
Then we are in for night session.
French Fun.
Minister Ito little boy)-" What
have you got there, little boy? Your
Sunday School paper?" Little boy
:" No, thir; count of the base ball
game Yesterday" Minister-''Don't
you know that's no paper for you to
read on Sunday?" Little boy" Yeth,
thir." Minister-"Well, give me the
paper. "-[Exchange.
Judge (who has invited an alderman
to sit beside him on the bench h)-"Mr.
Alderman, do you think the prisoner
guilty? Just whisper your opinion to
me.' Alderman-'Judge, he is no
more guilty than l am" Judge
{hesitating few minutes, then aloud)
-"I sentence the prisoner to five
years imprisonment. ."-[Epoch.
Home, Sweet Home: She Thought
fully)-George, dear, are there any
times in your life when the pathos
and truth of that most beautiful of all
songs, "Home, Sweet Home, There Is
No Place Like Home," appears to
you with startling vividness, and fills
your soul with longing? He "a base
ball player)-Yes, indeed; parti-
cularly when I'm on third base, with
two men out.
Z. The wrong kickers-Opera goer Ito
manager of National Opera Company
--"Well, l see you've got rid OF the
kickers in your company. What are
the prospects for" Manager
"What's that? Rid of the kickers
Heavens, wish l had" "Why,
saw report that the ballet would be
dispensed with" "The ballet? Oh
Thought you meant the prima donna"
-[Philadelphia Call.
s.How is it that you charge me fifty
cents for this little pinch OF bicarbon-
ate of soda, when you gave me three
times as much for ten cents yester-
day" Druggist-"We are filling a
prescription to-day. Suppose we are
going to translate Latin for nothing
My dear sir, you don't seem to appre-
ciate what it costs to obtain a classical
education. Hold on I've given you
oxalic acid That boys always SHIFT.
ing the bottles around. Boston
Transcript.