Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-15
LOST.

Tramp-I have lost arm, sir; will Passer by Gin great haste)-Sorry, but l haven't seen anything of 1t.
 The interstate commerce law does not prohibit the passing of cold waves all over the country. Chronicle.
 Burlington woman lost her false teeth, and when asked what was the matter with her wrote on a piece of paper: "Misplace ment of the jaw."-Burlingto Free Press.
 Mrs. Blunt, now living with her second husband upon being asked the meaning of purgatory, promptly replied that it was the brief interim between the decease of her first and the proposal of her second.-Boston Transcript.
 Belle Gin box)-"How very odd it must seem to sit down there-among the people" One of the men she knows-''You wouldn't like it." Belle-'I should stay away. What in the world do you suppose they come for!'' Man-"Oh, possibly the music, you know" " Puck.
 t'What is the church for?" asks religious weekly. We'll, well! If our sacred contem- porary does not know what the church is for we think it is about time for revival of re- ligion in it's town. The church is to save the ministers the expense of hiring a hall.-Low- ell Citizen.
 We are told that all the 5O,0OO, ,OO0 of peo- pie of this country could be put into the ObhC6 Ol 10AdS WlbuOuU C1oWulDS. 1uIS IS because they have habit in Texas of sus- pending persons from trees and telegraph poles. This makes more room below.-Nor- ristown Herald.
 Omaha Girl-sI suppose you know the Blanks who moved into your section some years ago?'' Texas Belle-''Oh, we don't as- sociate with that family any more. The last time my father met MT. Blank he cut him dead" "Wasn't Mir. Blank surprisedF' ba xuos Ha didD,t kr,ow my na carried bowie. ."-Exchange.
 Railroad Masher-Now that that man has gone into the smoking car I'll get up little filtration with that pretty woman he left be- hind. Friend-Be careful. He may return suddenly. R. M.-Oh, he won't be back for three or four hours: Friend-Sure! R. M.- Certain. He's her rhusband.-Omaha World.
 Franklin Hinkley, of Massachusetts, was ill for some time with disease of the spine and the hair of his head, beard, moustache, eyebrows and eyelashes all came out. Frank lin met an old-time friend the other day ard the first thing his friend said was: "helio, old boy You've been and got married haven't you?"-Burlington Free Press.
 A physician says that a man with but one ear can hear just as well as man with two but he cannot locate the sound The man with but one ear deserves our sympathy. When he hears small boy making an infer nal racket after dark by drawing a stick across the fence pales, he doesn't know in what direction to hurl the brick he instinc- lively grabs.-Norristown Herald.
 Boys Misfortune.-Wealthy Alderman --'Be jabers, Oi'I be contint wid phat Dive got, an not be goin' into Wall street. , Ambitious Wife-'sSure now, Pat, y'r not rich enough yit fer yacht" W. A.-"Ner will Oi be. Phat wud become of our sor Jim if Oi should thry fer more an lose phat Dive got. He'd stharve." A. W.-''An' phy couldn't Jim be rich sthatesman loik y'self, Pat2" w. A.-s'He couldn't be elict- ed. He was bourn in this country. "-Tid- Bits.
 The widow of a distinguished professor was visited by rather shabby genteel sort of gentleman, who expressed great admir- ation for her deceased husband, and who finally said: q revere the memory of your husband, and would like very much to have some relic to keep and cherish" ''The only relic can offer you" replied the disconso- late widow, signing heavily, 'sis myself. If you will love and cherish me for his sake, you may" But the relic hunter had silently stolen away before she could finish the sen tence.-Texas Siftings