Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-10-26
JUST FOR FUN.

"DoEs your wife play the piano."
81 am sorry to say she doesn't"
"Does she play any musical instru-
ment ?" "None whatever" "Hey!
That's a rare accomplishment pr
New York Commercial.
THE base ball season is on it's last
legs, but g. cloud no bigger than q
mans hand is booming up in the
western horizon, which tells of the fiery,
untamed toboegan and more work for
the DOCTORS Boston Transcript.
BOBBY was in church for the first
time, and as the deacon passed the
plate he dropped q nickel into it and
whispered in an audible tone: "Ma,
he didn't ring the ell."-[ New York
Sun.
81 WANT $1O," said the facetious
police judge to the prisoner, who was
up for being drunk. $50 do L. re-
piled the prisoner, "but I don't sup
pose either of our faces is good for it"
.-lTexas Siftings.
Lolita is very rich. She says she
thinks she should 60 crazy if she were
to leave the stage and settle down in
a quiet home with her mother. This
does not give good idea of her moth
er.-[New Orleans Picayune.
A NUMBER of little Kansas City boys
were playing marbles when a. stranger
passed. "Do you play for Keeps
little boys!" he asked. eyes, SIR"
they replied. "What are you playing
for now?" "Corner s."-[New York
Sun.
The amount OF bacon used in the
American navy foots up over 1,OOO,-
600 pounds per year. This pleases
Ig. Donnelly, who intends to make
Bacon take the place of Shakespeare
in all countries New Orleans Plea
yune.
The newspaper liar who got up the
story about the Northwestern Ohio
Oil wells spouting up stones with
Greek inscriptions on them will please
go to the head. He is the champion
liar of the season. cleveland Plain
Dealer.
AT Bar Harbor: Young Gallant
Miss Mabel, why so pensive? We have
been sitting here gazing out upon the
ocean for over an hour and you have
scarcely spoken q word. Miss Mabel
Pm lonesome, that's all.-[Town
Topics.
This is the composition new
teacher had the pleasure of hearing
read in q school not far from Con-
cord: "Going to SCHOOL, like to go
to school when we have good teach
er. l don't like to 60 to school this
term. p Concord IN. H Monitor.
A CHINAMAN was standing upon the
river bank yesterday. The sight of
the raging Chemung inspired him to
remark in his best pigeon English,
"Belly deep!" "Yes," remarked Ja-
cob Schwartz, who stood near by,
''just about !"- Elmira Advertiser.
IT takes Missouri journal to give
g. comprehensive opinion. We find in
g. ST. Louis paper the decision that
''if you are q married man your wife
can compel you to support her. If
you are not she can [Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
"PAPA," asked little Johnny Nc.
Swilligen, "what is q kinglet ?' ga
kinglet. Johnny" replied Mcswilligen,
ST.. 4" is little king. The suffix let
always means SMALL" "Then, I
suppose, q triplet is g. little trip
[Pltusburg Chronicle.
OMAHA CHILD-"The lady in the
next house is just as lovely as she can
be-" New York child-"She's no
lady" "Indeed she is, too" "No
she isn't. Her pug dog has the same
colored ribbon on in the afternoon
that it wears in the morning. p Oma-
ha World.
so, MAMMAL" exclaimed little Edith,
running into the house nearly out of
breath, "there's going to be a mar
riage deception over to Mrs. Uppum's
this evening"" Marriage deception"
HIM, what ridiculous plumbers chill
dren do make sometimes- Boston
Transcript.
eyes, said Mr.. Snyderly, with
fine glow of pride, 81 consider myself
g. self-made man. Starting in life O.
simple farmers boy, have made my
way up steadily, and now | occupy O.
position of honor and trust" "What
position is that ?" 81 have just re-
ceived my commission as a notary
public from the governor.-I Nebraska
State Journal.
OMAHA YOUTH-ssYes, / guess my sis
ter will go to church with you if you
ask her. You are both Episcopalians,
believe" New York youth-"Er-no,
| nevah atteni that church any more.
Igo to the Presbyterian" swell, well!
What caused the change in your"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. do their
praying standing up, and that keeps q
fellah's Sunday trousers from bagging
at the knees, don't ye know Oma-
ha World.
WAS told OF Cambridge girl, who
lives under the shadow of Memorial
Hall, who directed her shoemaker,
while ordering pair of boots, to be
sure to put in good leather penults.
"Hay?" said the cobbler. 'sPenults,"
murmured she. "Penults," murmured
he. ''Yes, penults," insisted the
damsel, ''inner soles, they come next
to the last, don't they f" ''Well
yes; | guess they do" returned the
cobbler in that peculiar twang of the
Down Easter that can never be imi-