The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-09
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
The Trouble They Have on Money
Matters
From, the Detroit Free Press

The Trouble They Have on Money
Matters.
From the Detroit Free Press
Some weeks ago | referred to Mr. Bow
ser's liberality in the matter of pin money.
He began in the most liberal manner, but
ended with the declaration:
See here, Mrs, Bowser, this is all nom
sense! We are one. What belongs to me
belongs to you. This giving you certain
sum of money every week makes it appear
as If you We're a servant. When you want
money take it out of my wallet. If you can't
find the wallet, just mention the sum you
want"
But, Mr.. Bowser, IL
No butts about it! You were going to
say you hated to be obliged to ask me for
money!, your own husband, When a
wife gets as sensitive as that she should be
obliged to go barefoOted for three months in
winterl"
let the matter drop for a few DAYS, but
one day when l wanted dollar to buy some
notions | went to Mr.. Bowser's coat, which
was hanging on the hall-tree for the moment,
and took out the family wallet. No, [ didn't
either IL wasn't there. | decided to wait
awhile, and that night, when Mr. Bowser
was sound asleep and blowing his fog-horn,
got up to look for his wallet 1t couldn't
NC lOullel. All Tie money lie Datl ABOUT MN
was one poor, old lonesome nickel. | was
wondering whether half of that belonged
to me or not, when the fog-horn ceased to
toot and Mr.. Bowser rose up in bed and
shouted:
What in blankety blazes are you doing
with my clothes!"
81 wanted the family wallctr'
''Oh, you did! You get up at midnight to
rob your husband, do yOu!"
But half the money is mine"
Mrs. Bowser, you drop that coat and
jump into this bed as quick as heaven will
let you, and if | ever catch you trying to
rob me again I'll apply for divorce within
an hour"
When he thought was asleep he slipped
out of bed and took the wallet from under
the dresser where he had carefully hidden
it, and inspected the contents to see if any
thing was gone | had firmly made up my
mind never TO ask him for a cent, but next
day he seemed so good natured that ven
tured to say:
There are several little things badly
need, and as l am going down town this
afternoon I'd better buy them"
Certainly, my love. VIII five do9"
'Oh, yes"
"All right-here it is. If five isn't enough
take ten"
l took five, and was Just making out
Mr.. Bowser came i'll with a bill in his hand
and said;
Here's the shade-tree man after his pay
You may give me that five and I'll give you
three silver dollars
An hour later he sent up a dollars worth
of Strawberries accompanied by note ask
ing me TO pay for them, and so | got down
town with only 81 in my pocket. made
them go as far as possible, and was rather
proud of my purchases when got home |
had them spread on the table of the sitting
room when Mr.. BOwser came rushing in
with.
Say! that colored man is through clean
ing up the alley and l can't make change
with him. Haven't you got dollar and a
half of that money"
why, no."
''Nor dollarr'
81 haven't penny left"
What! Squandered every cent of that
money! That just as Iexpected! l was
told when | married you that I'd bring
up in the poOr-hOuse inside of ten
years, and begin to believe it was a true
predictionn
But, Mr.. Bowser, you only gave me two
dol"
He was gone before | had finished the
sentence, and during all the evening he
hadn't word to say. l think he felt con-
science-stricken, however, for next day he
said
MRS. Bowser, you have the look of
child, and you don't know the villainy of
this world any more than a child seven
years old. What 1 object to is the way
these dry goods clerks swindle you. They
take every advantage of your greenness,a and
when they cheat you they rob me-"
''But have been cheated!'
'Have you! What did you ever buy
that you were not cheated3 Mrs. Bowser,
YOU are no more fit TO walk into dry goods
store with $40 bill in your purse than our
old cat is to Judge of a lawn mower After
this will do the buying. Is any thing needed
lust nowf'
"Why, baby ought to have some, new
dresses, and we need some table linen"
Very well I'll see TO it.
knew about what would happen. He
slipped off early next morning, and was
home by 10 o'clock with a back-load of dry
goods.
Dresses for the baby" he observed, as he
united the package What do you think of
this-and this-and this, Got 10 per cent.
Off on each pattern and l saw to it that the
measure was full"
He held up seven yards of alpaca, pat
tern in green worSted, a third in striped
summer silk, fourth in second mourning
calico. the fifth and last in satin, which was
as stiff as a Brussels carpet.
'Mr. Bowser, what on earth have
you-m
"And here's stockings for him-red, white,
blue, green, orange, terra-cotta and black.
l don't propose that any young 'un of mine
shall go barefoot"
"Oh! Mr. Bovscr, you-you-"
"And here's three green table-cloths and
two dozen red napkins to match, and-what
ails you now"
"N-nothing"
"Didn't | get enoughN
but we can't use these things-not
single article"
lie looked at me in wild-eyed way for
half a minute. and then sailed the green
table cloths and rel napkins through the air
into the parlor and said:
That's the last time you can make fool
of mel Don't never ask me 10 do any more
trading for YOU while we live together, for
I wouidn't do it to save your neckl I've
saved at least s. over what you could have
done, and yet you find fault and show your
insane jealousy
Rough on Rats"
Clears out rats, mice, reaches, flies, ants,
bedbugs, beetles, insects slunks, jack rab-
bits, sparrows, gophels. 15c AT druggists.
Rough on Itch"