Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-04-23
MARK TWAIN AS A SOLDIER.
His Part in the Bloodiest Battle Fought
in Human History.

MAIN Twain AS a SVIDiEks
His Part in the Bloodiest Battle Fought
in Human History.
The following is from the Baltimore
American report of the twenty-seoond an
niversary of the Veteran Association of
Maryland
MARK Twain then responded to the
toast to The Camp Ere lie was greeted
with cheers and applause.
When your Secretary invited me to
this reunion of the Union Veterans of
Maryland, he requested me to come pre-
pared to clear up matter which he said
had long been subject of dispute and bad
blood in war circles in this country-to
Wit, the true dimensions of my military
services IN the civil war, and the effect
they had upon the general result. / re-
cogniZe the importance of this thing to
history, and / have come prepared. Here
are the details. I was in the civil war two
weeks. In that brief time | rose from pri-
vate to Second Lieutenant. The monu-
mental feature OF my campaign was the
one battle which my command Fought
was in the summer of 81. If I do say it,
1t was the bloodiest battle ever fought in
human history; there's nothing approach
ing it for destruction Of human life in the
field, if you take III consideration the
forces engaged, and the proportion of death
TO survival. And yet you do not even
know the name of that battle Neither do
l. 1t had name, but | have forgotten it.
1t is no use to keep private information
. which you can't show of. Now look
at he way history does. 1t takes the battle
OF Boonville, fought near by, about the date
of our slaughter, and shouts its teeth loose
over it, and yet never even mentions ours
doesn't even call it an affair." doesn't
call il anything at all never even heard of
IT. Whereas, what are the facts? Why
these: In the battle of Boonyille there were
two thousand men engaged on the Union
side, and about as many on the Other-sup-
posed to be- The casualties, all told, were
two men killed and not all of these were
killed outright, but only han of them, for
the other man died in hospital next day. /
know that, because his great-uncle was sec
onc cousin to my grandfather, who spoke
three languages, and was perfectly honorable
and upright, though he had warts all over
him, and used to-but never mind about
that, the facts are just IS I say, and | can
prove 1t. Two men killed in that battle of
Boonvilte; that's the whole result All the
others got away-on both sides. Now then,
In our battle there were just fifteen men en-
gagged on our side-all acknowledgements
but me, and l was Second Lieutenant On
the other side there was one man. He was
stranger. We killed him. It was night
and we thought he was an myof observa-
ton he looked like an army of observation
in fact, he looked bigger than an army of
observation would in the daytime; and some
of u believed he was irving to surround us.
and some thought he was going to try to
turn our position, and so we shot him.
Poor fellow, he probably wasn't an army
OF observation, after all, but that wasn't
oer fault; as ] say, he bad all the look of
it in that dim light. 1t was a sorrowful
circumstance but he took the chances of
war, and he drew the wrong card he
over-estimated his fighting strength, and
he suffered the likely result; but he fell as
the brave should fall-with his face to the
foe and feet to the feld-so we buried him
with the honors of war and took his things.
So began and ended the only battle in the
history of the world where the op-
posing force was utterly exterminated,
swept from the face of the earth-to the
last man. And yet you don't know the
name of that battle; you don't even know
the name OF that man. Now. then, for the
argument. Suppose had continued in the
war, and gone on as | began, and extermi- |
mated the opposing force every time every
two weeks-where would your war have
been? Why, you see yourself, the conflict |
would have been too one-sided. There was |
but one honorable course for me to pur- |
sue, and ] pursued it. l withdrew to |
private life, and gave the Union cause |
chance. There, now, you have the whole !
thing in a nutshell. 1t was not NV
presence in the civil war that determined |
that tremendous contest-it was my retire |
ment from it that brought the crash. 1t left |
the Confederate side too weak And vet, |
when | stop and think, | cannot regret nv |
course. No; when / look abroad over this |
happy land, with its wounds healed and its |
enmlties forgotten this reunited ssterhood |
of majestic States; this freest of free COM
monwealths the sun in his course shines |
upon; this one sole country namable in |
history or tradition where man is man |
and manhood the only royalty this people |
ruled by the justest and wholesomest laws !
and Government yet devised by the wisdom |
OF men; this mightiest of the civilized en- |
pires of the earth, in number, in prosperity, |
in progress and in promise; and reflect |
that there is no North no South any more, |
but that as in the old time; it is now and |
will remain forever, in the hearts and |
speech of Americans, our land our coun- |
try, our giant empire, and the flag floating
IN its armament our flag, would not wish |
1t otherwise. No; when l look about me |
and contemplate these sublime results, |
feel, deep down in my heart, that l acted |
for the best when ! took my shoulder out
from under the Confederacy and let it come
down"
He finished in roar of applause that
shook the room.