The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1887-08-05

this town." was the quiet response at my
elbow, and | was somewhat startled to per-
ceive none other than the parsonage al
luded to.
"IIow do you do, Mr.. Fool-killer ~ said
| blandly ''how's business?
"Grows on my hands more fools than
everr' he replied.
well, you will find plenty of subjects
here" | remarked, eomplacently, thinking
of several whom | felt could be spared.
81 presume so,' said he. "I'm a little
pressed for time; if yon will please fall in
at once we will continue our conversation
as I pick up the rest of the crowd"
81 see you are fond of a joke, Mr.. Fool
killer" said /.
81 never joke !" said the Fool-killer,
severely. "Why, I've had my eye on you
this long time, waiting to sec if you
wouldn't learn something. don't think
l know a bigger fool anywhere"
"Please explain yourself, Mr.. Fool
killer" said l, family. I'D no idea l was
so bad as thatl''
"Humph! You belong with these tenn
perance cranks, don't you?"
eyes l do" said | stoutly.
81 ought to take the whole crew. said
the Fool-killer with asperity, "but I'll only
go for a few of the worst cases this time.
What do you make by it, | want to know"
"The satisfaction of IN approving con-
science, " I replied with returning courage.
"That's a mitigating circumstance"
returned the Fool-killer; but look here.
When the great temperance revival turned
this town upside down. and you saw the
men all walking up and signing the
pledge, didn't you imagine there was
something in this claim of being the
stronger sex to prevent a man from break
ing his sworn word, and giving in to a
beastly appetizer"
EYES," said I, 81 did,"
"Well, what do you think of yourself
now?n
81 think they are worse fools thar l
was," said I.
''That has nothing to do with the mat
ter; let whisky kill them," said the Fool
killer. '"Then, when a lot of you inter-
viewed every creature that could vote in
this village; when you women had lunch
rooms down town on election day, and
drove around like mad after follows who
hadn't ambition enough to walk to the
polls, and carried the day, didn't you sup
pose the law was going to be enforced,
and that those men were elected for the
purpose Of seeing it done? Didn't you
suppose temptation was going to be re-
moved from the path of the men you had
talked with, and persuaded, and worked
and prayed for, till they did get up resolu-
ton strong enough to sign the pledge, but
not half so strong as the fumes from the
open door of a grog shop"
'sYes," I admitted, 81 did,"
"Well, what do you think of yourself
now?'
The Fool-killcr didn't give me time to
say that | thought more of myself than of
any town board I over knew in Momence,
but went right on. "Then, you had an
idea that men would listen to reason;
you've talked about what they have sworn
to do as citizens; you've tried to make
them believe that a boy is worth as much
as a horse, and that 1T is just as plain a
duty to inform OIL 4 man who gives whiskey
to boys rs on a horse thief; you've told them
their vote for license is an Endorsement
which makes them personally responsible
for every crime whisky ever commits, and
that thoy will have it to answer for in the
Day of Judgment. That's no sign of a
fool, but You didn't know that the word
TAX, if 1t doesn't represent more than
fifty cents, is a stronger argument to the
masculine intellect than anything you or
anybody under the heavens could say to
them! Women, they don't know enough
to look at things that way; that's why
they'll never be fit to vote. There's an
other til ing; you've actually thought that
women would be allowed a chance to pro-
tect themselves and their children by hav-
ing a voice about this business that makes
their homes a hell Upon earth; you have
thought you might see it by this time"
eyes," I said meekly, 81 have"
"And you've got up and talked about
educating public opinion! Humph! don't
you think it Is mighty slow to educate
when it hasn't yet got past thinking the
difference between right and wrong is COW
cred by the surplus of five hundred dollars
over one hundred and fifty? and you
thought you didn't belong in my crew!
Don't You see what an awful fool you
are?''
eyes, | sce," said |, completely crushed.
Fall in, them" said he, giving a blast
on his horn.
As We marched up the street in single
file, every one turned to look at tine Fool
killer and me.
"Hold on a minute" said the Fool
killer, 'here's a fool Eve got to have"
.sThat," said /, sis a member of the
Methodist church."
EXACTLY" said the Fool-killer. "He
voted to license grog shops. 1t didn't
take thirty pieces of silver to fetch him.
He estimated that his share of an appro-
priation for running this town in good
shana witbout license fees would cost him