The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-05-11
PlTR AND POINT.

| PITH AND POINT.
| Keep cool and you command every
body.
Don't be mulish. Never kick sim.
ply because people talk behind your
back.
| "A metaphysical Killing
yourself with hard work to get liv-
ing.
Pat-Phwat is that ye are at, Bid
| dyP Biddy-Shure, it's bottle Of
hair resthorer Dim putting on me ould
muff. Life.
| THE mind" quoth little Felix with
quaint wit, ais some thing that turns
round and round in your head and
makes up stories. The Bee.
"A poultry authority says: "Hens
will lay certain number of eggs in .
year." Our experience is that they
will lay an uncertain number. -Lo,oeH
Courier.
Justice is blindfolded. but she holds
q pair Of steelyards in her hand SOS
she kin tell the difference between the
heft of a dollar an a dime Washing
ton Critic. :
The commercial editor was much
exasperated when the proof of the wool
market reached him and he read ..un:
washed cowboy" instead of '.unwashed
combings. Salt Lake Herald
Clergyman Ito dying man BE
joyful, brother; you will soon be in
better place. Dying Bostonian-
The idea! Why, dear sir, you can't
have seen Boston at all. You've just
arrived by rail, Isuppose.
-Teacher-You must not como to
school any more, Tommy. until your
mother has recovered from the measles.
Tommy-There amt bit of danger
that she will give them to me. "Why,
how is thatp' ''She is my stepmother."
Teras Sit,ings. Y
-'Why was eternity made, papap"
asked Reginald. 80 that cricket
match could be played clear through"
replied papa, who had lost three days
from the Office in busy time watching
the first half of one inning played half
through. Bmrdette.
Omaha dame {anxiously) Why,
how thin you look! Married daughter
Thin! Why, thought was gaining
in weight. Nonsense. You are get
ting as thin as a rail- Its very
queer. My husband can't hold me on
his lap half SO long as he used to be-
cause I've got SO heavy Onaha
World.
In the Court of Assizes the Adj
vocate-General points to the accused
with gesture of scorn and says:
Eyes. gentlemen, you see at the end of
my arm the most corrupt and con-
temptible man that the earth has ever
produced The accused (interrupt-
ing)-I agree with him, gentlemen OF
the jury. but monsieur has forgotten to
say at which end. Trench Fsu,.
Kingston IN. " woman, says
lhe FREEMAN, OF that city, returned 3
borrowed book to a friend the other
day. She had had the book some time.
and the friend expressed some surprise
that she had returned it SO soon.
"Well," said she, It'll tell you how it
happened. My husband just bought
quite number Of books, so had to
take out the borrowed books to make
room for the new ones in the book
case.n
-"You have no idols in America"
said VAN Chops to the pastors wife.
Haven't we?" she answered. pointing
at the tramp who was sncaking back
toward the kitchen, 1--WE can give
China points on idols; there goes the
idolest thing that ever walked the face
of the earth and lived on free offerings
and human sacrifices" And then she
went on to say that she didn't know
whether he had jug or not but VAN
Chops had fled and was already half
seas over to China. That is, he was
deep in his cups. How many cups,
dear? Three he cups Scat!-B urdeste.