Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-11-25
CARL DUNDER.
He Signs for the Old German Customs.

DeLTOiI fEtS IISSS
Sergeant" said Carl DuHder, as he
tiptoed into the station-ho yesterday,
Il pellet like to go back to Shermany
again"
"What's the matter now?"
"VhelI, every thing vhas too fast and
too strange oafer here for some old man S
like me. Dot Yankee vhas a queer fell
le1-awful queer. Some mans come into
my place eafery day und yell out:
"'Hi! dere! Two peers! Set 'em oop,
queek! Ia! ia! Goodbye, Dunderr
''Und no throws down der money,
gulps down dot peer, und yhas off before
l can say Shack Robinson. 1t doan' be
like dot in Shermany. l goes NIT Place
at a SHOW walk, und [ goes in Ply der
door und shpeaks NIT eaferypody. 1 ask
him aboudt his wife und shildren, his
horse und COW ind pig, his health ind his
garden, und by and by l sat down and say
to dot bsrkeeper:
"'Hans, MAYBE you hat some peer?
eyes, Herr DUNDEE
"'Maype it vhas goot peer?
"'Yes, he vhas.'
"'Vhell, try glass
'He goes by der cellar ind prings him
oop, und l take a scat ind play some
sheckers, und l drink leedle ind wait,
ind drink some more und wait, und by
und by it vhas swelve O'Clock und | goes
home to dinner"
'That's too slow, Mr.. Dunder."
Dots der vhay all you Yankees say.
How long you pellet 1 vhas getting mar
ried, Sergeant?"
ooh, perhaps three weeks, and that's
giving you seven days over the rest of
u.s."
"Tree weeks! Why, it vhss ten Vars
end dot vhas too soon! If L wait one
more var doan' marry Mrs. Dunder at
ALL It vhas like dis; 1t takes Won var to
be intro iuced to dot girl. 1t takes Won
var more pefore you like to call her by
her first name. Maybe, after fife Vars 1
take her hand und say dot | like to be
married, but it vhas fife var more pefore
she cosents und vhas all ready"
"Too slow for me-"
''Und you vhas in sooch hurry dot
you doan' lif oudt half your days. Dot
prings me down to peesness. Shake has
run AWAY some more"
"Nor
"He goes last night. We hat some fuss
again. Shake vhas too much like a
Yankee. und talk und talk to him, und
it vhas no goot. Do you know Shake
feels so pig dot he doan' like to hat my
clothes cut oafer for him any more!'
as that possibleY"
p "Dot vhas possible. In der oldt country
wooden shoes vhas all right for me. In
dis country Shake likes some fine CATERS,
und he shines 'em oop init placking.
Some oldt hat vhas goot enough for me,
but shake he must go oudt und puy
you for tree dollar. [ haf some
pants nit only two holes in 'em, but
Shake won't put 'em on. When Ivhas
poy doan' hat ten cents month. Shake
come to me almost eafery. day ind says
he likes half dollar or seek shillings.
In der oldt country play sheckers or
pitch horseshoes. My Shake learns how
to play poker und billiards und lots of
odder games, and it makes your hair
shtand COP to hear him talk of base-pall
ind cricket. He calls me old mosspack
und such, und yesterday l make oop my
mind to put shtop to him."
"Took him down cellar, eh?"
Dots vhas 1 like to do. l get dot
strap und tell him to como agong, but he
says vhas too fresh, und he vhas gone
before get him, Sergeant"
"Wen?n
"Maype vhas wrong. Maybe it vhas
deterrent in dis country. Maybe dot poy
of to-day yhas not like der oldt poys. l
doan' shleep any all night, und der oldt
vomans she vhas crying all der time for
Shake; and so if you see him you may
tell him to come pack. Tell him dot we
try again. If he doan' say l vhas too
fresh, und if he doan' tell me to put oop
my dukea, und if he doan' keep talking
aboudt csrom shots, hot grounders,
shack pots and so on, try to make it all
right und get along. Shust tell him dot
Sergeant, ind you may silently kint TO
him dot if he doan' do peter you pellet
he Will pc hung fer murder Good-by,
Sergeant Maybe vhas too oidt for dis
country.