The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-02-05
Odds and Ends
A man can wear the lightest Of pants
And cuiaway coat so gay,

u
| But he never can wear dccOllcte SHIRT,
Because he amt built that way.
There are certain liniments which vii
deaden pain. but it soon returns st j"
eob's Oil goes to the root Of the malady, an,
the sufferer is permanently cured, % CTS
First Oyster-"Where are We2' SeconC
lOyster-"rhis il church First Oyster
"a church. What do they want with boil
of Us, | wonder
FIRST Passenger We'll, old boy. whats
up this af'ernoonI
Second Passenger-"All but the soup
When a man becomes o. slave to opium NJ
canno, give up The habit II may have beer
acquired by giving him opiates when SICK
and thi. is why Red Star Cough Cure com
mends itself for its purity, freedom irou
narcotics, and prompt efficacy. only zoe.
"Your morherin law is staying at your
house right along, ism she, Jones" 'les
She reminds me of bit OF furniture
have" "WhaI's that" The gas fixture,
said Jones, gloomiy,
For costveuess, billiousnesS, headache
anu MI ltNtll7H ili'AN' "'N i''''.
Bilious Pills 2jc.
"You say you have never been in Chicago
Monseer BarthOldi." sand resident OF th1l
city to the sculptor. No salre, never but
hat met &c Chicago ladies IN Paree.' On
that explains 1t" and the perplexed look
upon The Chicago Mun's face passed away
Il was wonderiu' where you got the ldee iof
them feet,
Dir. Jones Red Clover Tonic is not a slim.
ulant but nerve food. restoring nerve force
lost by sickness or excessive mental Work or
the use of liquor opium, morphine or lObac'
co. Ii supplies food tor nerve tissues ana
by its gentle operative action. removes all
restraint iron the secretive organs, hence,
curing all diseases Of stomach and liver j..
Y. Griggs will supply the genuine Red Glover
Tonic at 80 cents u bottle.
The through evening train on the Duluth
road WAS nearing the station where the Min
neapois sleeper is attach /. "White Bear
shouted the break man III he door QUITE
bare" indignantly echoed a maiden lady OF
uncertain summers, thru ling her head
through the curtains of a center berth, you
horrid man. of course amt"
Abbott, Hardin Co., Iowa March 20, 1886.
Dr. Seth arnold, Cough hfIer is the best
remedy for coughs and colds ever sold. 1t
gives satisfaction every time. Yours truly,
II. II. Sterrenberg
Mendicant. Could you help poor man
with a few cents, sir?' Old Porter We'll.
| don't know but might. Are you mar
ried." Mendicant.--''Yes sir Old P
Poor devil, guess I'll have TO give you a
half dollar" Mendicant-"Yes, sir, I've
been married twice" Old P.-"WeIl, then.
you just skip along. I'm not wasting mon
ey on blamed fool.
There is no denying the fact that DR.. Jones
Red Glover Tonic is the most successful DlOou
purifier ever put on the market It's won
derful cures in all stomach, kidney and hVer
troubles has brought out many limitations. II
restores debilitated nerve tissues, restoring
the force lost by sickness, mental work or
excessive use of liquor, opium and tobacco.
T.. i Griggs will supply the genuine at %
cents bottle.
A newly married couple arrived at one Of
our hotels few days ago and we're assigned
n room in which there were two beds.
While the groom was out taking in the town
q lady border entered the room, when the
bride, mistsking her for the landlady. re
marked: IL see you have two beds in here;
do you expect TO put any other person IN
the room" The lady grasped the situation
and reIlied "Yes, we are crowded and
will have to give you company tonight AT
ter moment 8 reflection the bride answered
IL do not care 90 much for myself-l'ye
been married before-but | hate to have
on my husbands account