The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-04-06
A Frank Advertiser,


The following, which seems to be the
advertisement of person who keeps a
liquor saloon, we give place in our column,
as we believe that any lover of honor and
truth cannot fail to admire the frankness
of the advertiser:
PATRONAGE Solicited.
Wishing to get living without work
ing hard, I have leased commodious rooms
in Mr.. Lovemoney's block, corner of Ruin
street and Pcrdition lane (next door to the
undertaker's), where 7 shall manufacture
drunkards, paupers, lunatics, beggars,
criminals and dead beats, for sober and
industrious men'to support. Backed up
by the law, I shall add to the number of
fatal accidents, diseases, disgraceful quar-
rels, riots and cold-blooded murders. My
liquors are warranted to rob some of life,
many of reason, more of property and all
of true peace; to make fathers fends,
wives widows, and children orphans. 1
shall cause mothers to forget their infants
children to grow up in ignorance; young
women to lose their priceless purity; and
young men to become loafers, swearers,
gamblers, skeptics, and lewd fellows of
the basest sort. Lady customers are sup
pliedwith beer as good as the best 'home
brewed," which will not only intoxicate
them, but also make them stupid, slack,
lazy, coarse and quarrclsome.
Sunday custumers will please enter by
the back door.
Boys and girls are the raw material Of
which I make drunkards, etc. Parents
may help me in this work by always send
ing their children for the ''home-b1ewed
article" and permitting them to loaf in
the street at night.
At two hours notice I am able to put
husbands in a condition to reel home,
break the furniture, beat their wives and
kick their children out of doors; I shall
also fit mechanics to spoil their work, be
discharged and become tramps.
If one of my regular customers should
decide to reform, I will, for few pen
nies, with pleasure, induce him to take
just one glass more, or, by offering ''free
drinks" tempt him to start again on the
road to hell. The money he would spend
in bread and other things for his family,
will buy luxuries for mine. And then,
when his money is gone, I will kick him
out, for his money is all I want.
Orders promptly filed for fever, scrof-
ula, consumption, or delirium tremcns.
In short, I will do my best to help
bring upon my regular customers debt,
disgrace, disease, despair and death in
this world, and in the next the pangs of
the second death.
The above may also be obtained of my
high-toned agent, Mr.. Frank Deseaver,
druggist, corner of Main street and shod-
dy avenue, who keeps full stock of OPT
um, pure liquors, and all the popular
cordials, tonics and bittcrs for medical
purposes only.
Having closed my ears to Gods warn
ing voice proverbs xiii, 20, 81; and
xiii, 13; Psalms tx, 16, II; Romans H.,
81, having made contract with hell and
sold myself to work iniquity, and hav-
ing paid for my license, I have right to
bring all the above evils on my friends
and ncighbors for the sake of gain.
Some have suggested that I display
outside the door assorted specimens OF
my art, but that would blockade the
street. Excellent samples of my manu-,
factured wrecks may be seen inside my
saloon at almost any time, or at the po-
lice station every morning, in the poor
house, asylums and prisons every day,
and very frequently on the gallows.
JUDAS O'CLARETY,
240 Ruin street. Rum River.
IAN Insult to Decency."