Richmond democrat., 1887-04-21
IIMEkIIN CIun.
brother Gardner Furnishes = Wretch Pound
Guilty OF stealing an Umbrella

brother Gardner Furnishes n Wretch Found
Guilty Of stealing an Umbrella.
Previous n the opening OF the meet
ing Brother Gardner, Sir Isaac Wall
pole and Waydown Bcbce were seen in
earnest conversation around the presi-
dents desk. and when the triangle
sounded II was pretty well understood
throughout the room that some mat
ter Of gravest Importance was on the
tapis. One individual seemed to feel
even more than lively curiosity.
This was Brother Process Davis. n
member Of about six months standing.
He jammed himself into a corner and
tried TO appear Ne small a. possible,
and when inquiries were made about
his sore heel he let on that he had an
awful toothache and didn't want to
talk. Scarcely had the meeting open-
Ell when he was called to appear at the
presidents desk The look Of terror
which came 20 his face as he rose up
proved that he regarded the matter in
a very serious light, and he shutiled up
the long aisle like one going to an exc
! cution.
"Brudder Process Davis" said the
president in very solemn tones. lat one
of our weekly mectin's last fall. an rs
we war about TO dispcrsc TO our homes,
Sir Isaac Walpole diskibered dat his
umbreller was missin'. II was an UNI
breller wild white bone handle, an it
was an heirloom in his family. His
| gran fadder had walked under dat UNI
brcller, an it had kept de rain of his
] fadder, an he himself had owned il fur
nigh upon thirty vars. Ithad been left
In kyars an on steamboats, an on de
front doah steps. an nobody had took
it. He had brung it down heah two
hundred times. an Il war allus waitin'
fur him when he got ready TO 20 home.
At las some one stole it--somc human
hyena laid his desecrated paws on dat
sacred reflex an bore il of. We made
ebery effort to find it, but de hunt was
in vain. Den we settled down to wait
for Justice. She ncbbcr sleeps. She
sometimes does a good deal Of foolin'
around. an dar am sometimes mighty
long wait between dc ackts. but she
nebber sleeps, She didn't 90 to sleep
dis time. She war lookin' fur you. an
yesterday she oberhauled you. You
had Sir Isaac's umbrcller under yer
arm. Heah am de libin' proof to con-
Wet youl You are de hyena who stole
it, an you are now befo' de bar Of
Justice' Prisoner, how do You plead?"
Process stood there with his mouth
open and could not reply. The sudden
shock seemed % have paralyzed him.
His guilt was as plSin as the hind but
tons on coat
"De pusson who will steal an UNI
brcller under any circumstances, con-
timed the president, deserves condine
punishment In dis case You stole it
from a fellow-member of a society. an
you added de sin Of lyin' to your crime.
Your name will be crossed OF our
books, an you will enter dis hall no
mo foreber. De carryin' out Of de rest
of de sentence am left to Giveadam
Jones an Hercules johnson"
The prisoner was removed to the
ante-r,om. and about q minute later
Paradise Hall was shaken from roof to
cellar This was followed by bump
ing sound on the stairs leading to the
alley, and this again by the sound of
fee making a rush for life. Brother
Process Davis will doubtless remain in
Canada during the rest Of his life.
Detroit Free Press.