Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
PrTH AND POINT.

PmH AND POINT.
AEAr Pos1r1oN-the grease coIIeo-
tors.
A SAD REFRAH-a toper's refusal to
take drink.
Curious EAoT-stOut people are very
soon fat-igued.
Why is a whisper forbidden in polite
society? Because it isn't aloud.
"THE lobby must go. Yes, but ii
viii go for the corporation that COM
mands the most money. Texas SiJt-
ings.
"SAY, bub!" said a Newman man,
your pants are too short. well, "
replied the little fellow, Il dess deyli
drOw. NelUHla7I Independent
MISTRESS (tonew servant We have
breakfast generally about 8 o'clock.
New servant=Well, mum, if 1 amt
down to it don't wait.-Ha7,peI-'s Bdzar.
UTOPIA: a sneering name
Our doubt and envy 10 express
OF that which later grows to fame
And recognition calls success.
Teas SJtiHgs.
AwoAIAN, by the way of experiment,
recently tied q pedcmeter to her chin,
and discovered that she talked thirty
three miles between breakfast and
lunch
"IHEAR that your husband is very Ill, "
said Mrs. Philpot. Eyes, poor fellow, "
replied Mrs. Shopper, che leads such a
sedementary life that his health is shat
tered"
AN exchange has an article on "The
Rise and Fall Of the Poet" One impOr-
tant point, however, Is omitted, and
that is the length of the stairs.-BllT-
lt7lgtO1 Free Press.
TIE official title Of the Governor of
Rhode Island is Captain General OF
Rhode Island and Providence Planta-
tons. The title runs out of the state
into deep water.-SH7I Francisco -4Lta.
"DOT Abram Levi he opens a store
next to mine. 1t was mean in him.
"But didn't you say last summer, Mr..
Doppenheimer, that competition is the
life of trade ?" Eyes, but 1 wasn't in
no business last summer. -HarpeT's
BGzaT.
"CAN hogs be taught tricks ?" asks a
children's paper. Yes they can. They
have learned the trick all by themselves
Of taking their local paper for years,
and then sending it back marked "re-
fused" and they could be taught all
sorts of other tricks except paying
if anybody was a mind to try.-DaEOta
Bell
my friend, said a solemn passenger
to the driver of a Third avenue street
car, "dO you know that you'll never
get to heaven if yOu swear at your
horses like that?" of I didn't swear
at them bosses" replied the driver,
I'D never get to Harlem, and that's
the point I'm headed for now. "-Nelg
York sam.
II Amt much in q city like New
York, said Col Blood, who had been
drinking all the evening at Dumley's
expense, "but down in the blue grass
region I'm a pretty big gun" eyes,
Colonel, " asserted Dumley, as he paid
for another round, "yOu are a big gun,
aud it costs money to load you up. -
Nel0 York Sun.
'fWuL you trust me for a cents worth
Of gum ?" asked the small boy, the top
Of whose head was on a level with the
counter. why, yes, I'll trust you.
You look like an honest boy" 40
| yes, I'm honest, but you'd better give
me the cent and let me buy some can.
dy next door. L prefer candy to gum. .
Detroit Free Press.
A DIPLOMAT made a funny blundcl
when he approached Mrs. Hornsby tc
take leave of her at her "tea. The
/ lady said to him: "Are you going Sc
| soon?" And he answered: Il always
do at your house" He thought she
had used the stereOtyped expression
81 hope you have enjoyed yourself,
and he got of the usual answer to thii
query.-The ArgOpalLt