Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-02-18
FUN.
A CLOSE race-Misers.

"
A CLOSE race-Misers.
Bound to be bounced-A ball.
ELECTROMAGNETIC telegraph.
A MAN of principle-The banker
PLAYS for high steaks-The buto,.
THERE is one good thing about adrs1
waiter. It never expects q fee.
ST. NICHOLAS tells of a dog that j..
count. But it can't equal q cat in ,'1
ming up q column.
"HuLLo, Mike, I hear yer on a str;e.
$50 1 am. 1 struck for fewer hon.,
"Did you succeed?" "Indeed I al
I'm not working at all now."-p1,1
delphia Cal.
W1FE-Who was that party you ri
bowed to? Husband-Don't esk ~
way again, dear. 1t doesn't show po1
breeding. Wife-Well, then, who n
that party that bowed to you?-1i
Bits.
"You say that he is deaf, dumb, u
blind?" "Yes." "I'm astonishea /
saw him leave church yesterday i,
before the collection was taken I'm, I
1 supposed, of course, that he was
possession of his full faculties"
"SoME idiot has put my pen whc,I
can't find it," growled Asperity h
morning, as he rooted about his Of
desk. "Ah, aw, yes; I thought so,
added, in a milder tone, as he haul
the writing utensil from out behind
ear.
II SAY, brakeman, is this my train
"N-no, I guess not. 1t seems to
long to the Great Central Railrd
Company. Their name is on it, al
way" "No, no, I mean I want to 81
my train" Gail right, sir; Wild
did you lose it?"-Chicago Ledger,
EXPECTATION.
There's a flush in her satin cheeks to might,
And her heart is palpitating.
And her eyes are filled with loves sweet ligb
For her beau the maid is waiting.
All! would that a friend the youth would wsd
The visit he'll dearly rue
For her pa with a club behind the barn
Is awaiting his coming. too,
Boston Courier.
A RATHER elderly maiden had mar
a gentleman named Young. "Allow
to congratulate you on the renewal
your YOUTH" said the jester, after
ceremony. "Sir!" was the frigid J
dignified response, II fail to comprehd
your meaning" why" said the jes
don't you know, your marriage |
made you Young again"
JOHNNY" said the Sunday.sch
teacher, What does your lesson
Repeat it again" "All flesh is grad
quoted Johnny. "Now, johnny, vi
is meant by all fesh?'" "Folks,
sponded Johnny. "That's right, john
And what is meant by the staten
comparing them to grass?" "Gree
guess."-Pinsbatrgh Dis -'ch.
MusrApHA, a Greek Christian Of
stantinople, was much respected by
Turks; but a curiosity he could not
sist induced him to run the risk ofbe
present at some OF the esoteric q
monies of the Moslem faith, to
which is to incur the death penalty
less the infdel atones for his offens|
embracing the faith of Mahc1
Mustapha chose the latter alterns
and thus saved his life. AS he
known to be q man Of strict intes
he did not escape the remonstranee
some of his former friends, to WHOM
made this excuse for his apostaey:
thought it better to trust a inert
God with my soul than these wret
with my body"
SKELETON OF I'll MODERN ENG
ROMANCE.
Prologue: Fathers death-bed scene;
Villain. son Hero, his brotf
Bad one stuffs old man with
Till he disinherits t'other.
Chapter / to 20: Girl
Weds poor youth cut of by papa;
Villyun loves her too, and alb
Ducts her in his yacht to Joppa.
Husband signs on merchant ship
As u common, nc good sailor;
Lands in Syria-strikes the scent
OF his wife's unnatural jailer.
800: Weary hoofs,
Hundred days into interior;
Passes mansion-tour miles of
With q grim md dark exterior.
Hears a cry from prisoned spouse
Novels take the cake acoustic:
Goes there, rescues her, and stabs
Brother dead with his quill toothp