Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-03-28
THOUGHTS.

A woman thought she had struck the con
| centratsd essence of spitefulness when sh.
told her neighbor, eff you didn't wear a wis
| I'd like to pull your hair for you, you nasty
| thing
"What is paradox" asked the professor
of his college class. And the brightest stu
dent of them all stood up and answered, ga
| woman trying to play whist. Boston Jour.
| nal of Education.
At Lenten Service-Miss Molly-"Come in
our pew, K ate" Miss Kate-'Oh, no, come
| in ours. We've got such nice, comfortable
high kneeing cushions. They don't strain
your polonaise a bit."-Tid-Bits.
$50 you have got stepmother," she said
to the little girl of seven: eyes" " 'tWell, I
that" replied the little one; please feel
sorry for pa."-Detroit Free Press.
TOMMY dear, Mary forgot something
this morning when she set the table. Sal
ly-What was it, love? Tom-The nut
crackers for these potatoes of yours. And
she has been month at the cooking club
Life
A Messenger street youngster tried to get
even with his mother the other day by say
ing: "All right, Mamma A, if you won't let
me do that won't pray for you any more,
or buy y.u any more candy."-St. Albans
Messenger.
Young Lawyer Ito c1ient)-They can't hang
you for murder you didn't commit. Client
That's the judges sentence: To be hanged
by the neck until 1 am dead. Young Law
yer (thoughtfully)-All right; you just let
'em go ahead and hang you and I'll make
'em sweat for it.-Puck.
Sam Jones says there is only one road TO
heaven. Some people no doubt will wonder
now that Mr.. Jones has called attention to it
why some corporation doesn't build ano her
line, but these people should remember that
there is hardly business enough to make the
present road pay.-Boston Transcript.
"My dear" said Mrs. snaggs to her hus-
band, 'Ewhat is a csra-d?" f'Don't you
know what a canard iss' queried Snaggs,
rather sneerzngIy; 'swhy the word itself con :
really l can't see it. What does it mean
dearS' why, canard is something one
cana -dly believe, OF course!"
Anxious Mamma-Poor dear, what is the
mater? Weeping ughtgr-Cluverius is
hanged and there is no one left to send fow-
ers to. Nam ra-Never mind, darling, the
sun has not Quite gone out. Dry your ewes
and viii take yon to St. Louis next week.
Daughter-But, boo hoo, what can I do
there Mamma-You can have a pair of
shoes fitted on you by Frank James.-Omaha
World.
A young married man recently came home
toward midnight. He might have Jared pref
ty We'll had he not worn MS hat to his bed
room. ''John,'' said the offended wife, s'why
didn't YOU take off your hats" ''Sh!" said
John, ''I'm all right; how'self!" "You are
not all righf, John. Why didn't you take
your hat offs" 'Sh! sh! my dear; dash all
right. thought first would take it off, but
was 'fraid I might wake up poor mother. -
Buffalo Commercial.
This is story which minister told the
other day at a fellowship meeting not l, 900
miles from Springfield: ''I said to a young
woman who had been member of my CON
gregation that had not seen her at church
of late. She replied that she had been kept
at home with her little boy, three years old.
then cordially invited her to bring him to
church. This time the answer was: Il know
that he would appreciate your preaching now
better than when he is olderl'-Springfel
The precocious small boy finds a rival in
the small girl vino figures in the primary de-
partment of the Canajoharie academy. A
teacher asked a small girl who had Skipped
school, "Where have you been and what
have you been doing all the mornings" Small
girl working the heel of her shoe into
crack in the foor)-Part of the time riding
down hill. Teacher with an encouraging
smile as a recognition of veracity)-And
what were you doing the rest of the times
Small girl (naively)-Walking up!-Albany
Journal