Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-11-19
Mr. Punch's Manual for Young Re-
cifaHS.

citers.
From Punch. October 22
AS has been observed earlier in this series, the
Amateur Reeiter is Influenced by a natural ambi-
ton to harrow his audience TO the best OF his abi
ity And be 1t said, the average AUDIENCES not at
all averse to telLg harrowed-providedt this is done
with any science and refinement. When persons
are met together for social enjoyment nothing ap-
parently Affords them keener pleasure than per-
torrance which produces certain peculiar SenSa-
tions, such IS the feeling OF partial want OF con-
troll over the facial nerves, smarting behind the
general conviction that, unless something occurs
| to make them laugh at once, they will be
if y. compeled 70 SOD IKE 80 many seals.
and must be taken into account. The sole draw
| backs are that, too often, the means adopted TO
secure the desired result depend more than should
| be upon sentiment which might almost be de-
Scribed as false; that the incidents occasionally
nave 700 70 pea me ana mat what
by some involuntary association withthe ludicrOus
and grotesque. In his anxiety TO preserve his
| pupils from such pitfalls as these Mr.. Punch
offers an example In which the blemishes he has
limited at have been sedulously avoided. II is at
once homely. wholesome and tear-compelllng-
| like the common onion. You Will ind you pro-
duce favorable impression at once by announc-
| ing 1t as
POSITIVELY THE LAST PERFORMANCE!
| (You must come 1Oih a general suggestion in
your ma amer that you are supposed TO be the
proprietor Of an ftinerant Cat and Cunary
Troupe. Begin aoi1s a sio,o and someVhat
Imaginary Haquirer.)
No, We Amt performn to-day, sir, and the boys
are all on the cape
At SEEM the mice In mournin', and the cats in
But I'm giving the show rest, dye see? for didn't
(Pause--then subdued) For my leading comedians
left me, sir
(Explanator;u perceiving you are not understood)
Inc Drlnule klnairy-(naOre inapdtiently0-
What, ye don't remember CSrprise) Not him
as wore the tunic o. Turkey red?
What RODE IN gilded kerridge with at an
And, as soon as we'd taken tanner ud fire
SalOOt from the gun?
There was Talent inside o. that bird, there was
or never see 1t in one lErcitediy.)
| (Philosophic binerness) Well, he's soon forgot
put I've OFTEN thought as a dsh keeps longer
Sudden comprehension and restored cordiality.,
| oh, ye didn't know him as BObs . /
| see-no, that were his private name.
used TO announce him In public on more long
| wtnded-er scale
| christened him "Gineral Moultky," (apolooeti-
| catlyD which he 'od rather gone at the tail;
And bird more popular never performed on perl
He was alters sure Of round Of applause as soon
| as he quilted the cage!
For he thoroughly hentered into the part he was
And he never Vt got t' fluffy" nor "oueered the
pitch, wise, Till the hother day.
thought he'd bin hovereXertin' hisself, and nd
| better be out OF the bill
But it wasn't TIN yesterday hevenin' I'd any ideer
| he wasW
Then see he was rough on the top Of his ed, and
| his tongue looked dry at the tip,
And 1t dawned on me like thunderbolt-"Great
Evings" l groaned,-"THE PIPw pause
here, to emphasize the tremendous gravity Of
Wei, 'ad bin trainin' siskin to hunderstudy the
| part, lnore ordinary tone for hiS
| And sent him OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES he done his
| best, bur he admit no notion O. Hart!
SO left the pitch as soon as could, and (meanin'
@ one the@ 6udn sites as was left
| runnin' to waste.
There was yawning pits by the finty road, as rem
dered the prOspeck dull,
And ERE and there winderless 'ouse with the
| look OF grtnning skull.
TRY to paint this scene UisibIy for the audience;
background is essential for 'ctat is to Gomez
| A storm had bin 'anging about all day land 1t
| broke, you'll remember, at lastD
so 'urred on II was gettin' late-and the Gineral
| (Yon are noW approaching the harro,ci,g part,
ont Keep yourself IN rese've for the presently
But all on sudding card i'm give a kind of a
And stops ana sez in ,cge,u way "wny, you're
IA bold metaphor applied TO q bird but character
| istic in the spedker.)
(Sink your rOce) Then see by the look of his sor-
rowful eye he was thinkin': "Afore go,
Id like to see one performance-fort the lastof the
dear old Show"
tNote, and make your audience feel, the touch Of
| Nature here)
! And sez, with a ketch in my voice "You shallr'
and whipped the sheet OF the board.
stuck up the pair O. trestles, and fastened the
Then propped the Gineral up in a place from
| which he could see the 'ole,
And set the tabbies a-sparring. and the mice a.
| climbing The pole.
[Build up the Uhole scene gradually: the dreasy
neightorhood, ne total absence q tystanders,
The tarfd, threatening sky. and the humble
| entertainment p proceeding in the foreground
put my company through their tricks-and they
| made my hold eyes dim,
For they never performed for no or1ence like they
n 1aS ,ffrhr IN
Them Tables spared with a science you'd ,ardly
| expect from SIGH.
And the mouse what usually boggles) fetched
| flags with never no itch!
Aye, we worked the Show In that lonely place to
the sound o, the mutterin' storm.
| Right through till we come to the nnish-the part
| he used TO perform.
He was out Of the cage in a minnit-egged on by
| professional PRIDE
| He pecked that Incompetent siskin I'LL he made
| him stand o. one side!
Well, l felt like aving good cry Men-but the
| time admit come for that.
SO slipped his uniform over his 'ead, and tied on
And he set in his tiny kerridge and was drored
A-looking that Apply and pleased with hisselt !
(Tone Of arectionate retrospection.
The very tabbies they gazed on him then with
| their heyeS dilatin In haw,
As he obbled along to the cannon with match In
Inever cared that cannon afore give such tire.
menJous pop
| INDEMNITY ana q peal o. thunder responded. as
seemed all over the shop!
For second Bob stood in the lightning, so noble
and bold, and blg;-
Then stagger i. q flutter broken
chirp-lyou can add immensely to the effect
here or a lille appropriate action. Pause,
| the audience, then, With forced calm as il
y0u Uere doing Ui0ience to your o,Un feelings
he was orr, slr,-ta s1ightgulp>-he'd opped
Second Pause: then more briskly, but still ,oith
| strong emotion to the clOse.)
So now you've the hexplanatiOn Of the Grape round
| the Tables neckS
And kin understand why we close to-day Gin token
| OF our respeckS."
He Told Everything.