The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1887-11-20
4 MAGYAR FANTASY.

| bobo hhubNit nA0h, put Sbh yoh VNpVSb
The fact Is, the public are onto us. And wher
everybody knows the circulation Is going down
you insist on putting the figures up and up
| II you'd listened to us, you'd have let EN- dror
| for week or two and then nut 'em up gradu.
ally. Now it's getting to DO big job to cook
the record every week. especially whom that
measly little Ecenin0 World"
Curse It," said tho Hungarian. bringing his
| Hst down upon the table with vicious bang
land curse the day starded til"
Since" continued the boss Affidavit Man.
I'VE have had to do double swearing, the work
| OF my department has boon greatly increased.
know the figures look crooked. but then they
are. want to take a vacation. am break
ing down under the strain Of those Internal
affidavits 1t is getting worse and worse every
day. must have my pay raised'
Holy Isaacs, business going to the dogsl"
Il must have my pay raised" repeated the
boss AFFIDAVIT Man imperturbaby. II have to
put fifty per cent. moro lying into my aff1davits.
I expect q corresponding increase In my
salary. want you to understand that I've
got an immortal SOUL II am in the affidavit
business"
"Posh. posh, man! You have the sofdest
chob on the baber All you have to do is to lie
/ never found any droubles about dot. Vot
you want easier as dot2'
II am at the head OF my profession. do
moro false swearing In year than all the
Grand Juries this side OF sheol will hear Of in
O hundred I agreed to swear to u lie circula-
ton Of 100000 copies q week; you make me
swear to a million"
II tells you vot do. young weller. You are
vine weller. admit. gif you kervater of
the ned profits Of de Euenino World"
Give me twenty fifth Of the net losses, and
it's CO."
gif you durkey Thangsgihng and hat
Gristmas."
Hang your turkeys and your hatsl Will you
or will you not raise my salary2"
Raise his celeryl Vot time ven all dose
circulation vos goin' to beeces.'
If afldavits can restore 1t. I'm your man."
we'll. veil. Ivlll consider your brobosition.
Go and get de figures and de afferdavids for
Tezomber"
The boss Affidavit Man started for tho ele-
vator The Hungarian. left to himself, plunged
into deep reverie. 1t did not seem to be q
pleasant ono. One restless hand clutched ner-
vousy at his auburn board. The foreflnger Of
the other was placed medtatively against his
nose. He closed his eyes and rumnated. An
occasional twitching Of the limbs and deep-
eling OF the sweeping. downward arc described
by the nose, indicated the disagreeable
thoughts which possessed him.
A knock at the door.
Come in. Have you got de afferdavids all
right? Two hundred dousand II be enough to
put her up for Tezember. ain'd it2"
The Hungarian suddenly felt himself seized
by the collar and vigorously shaken. His eye
glasses fell of and his face grew black.
Don't Joke me to DEATH Helb. helbi Is 1t
you Bill Hydep Is dot you. Meesder Knapp
Let pygones be pygones. Don't kill me; I'm
not brebared."
He fell upon the floor. and there he lay and
groveed. a helpless and crinRing thing.
who you vos?" he asked. in meek, whin-
ing voice. Don't hurt me; don't sdrike me. I
mean no harm to nopody. will abologize. I
business is not good now. Won't you please git
me my glasses and let me up? Won't you please
let me UP aid tell me vot done to youY
You miserable. whimpertng fraud" said a
voice he had never heard before, and that filed
him with undeflnable dread, stay where you
are and grovsl as is your wont. Thank God.
Pulitzer, that you cannot sec me. II you could
the sight Of me would shrivel into ashes you
and your whole wretched fabric of imposture"
20. my Colt. who are your Hav you poem
looking at de booksp"
Il am here to ask questions not to answer
them. Pulitzer. Keep on your knees. and speak
20. don't. don't! Ihafn't sboke dc druth for
five years."
He felt himself shaken again and with rude
insistance that made him gasp
20. o." he cried, when he had recovered
breath. Il will try, only don't hurt me SO much
any MORE"
Pulitzer" said that unknown and awful
voice. did you not know that the stories you
printed about Col Fellows were baseless. mon
strous lies"
IVY notp It ycs merely detail Of my pusi-
ness. Dots the way do business. But 1t vos
not q personal matter, you understand like
Meesder Vellows since he vos elected. Say,
perhaps you vos Washington Heights man.
If you vos friend Of Vellows and want q read
ing notice. gif you a discount"
He felt himself seized again. and 1t seemed
as if each particular bone In his lank body was |
being broken.
DO you talk Of business to mo. you self |
assassin Of reputationsp Answer my |
questions. or never hope to do any moro busi- |
ness in this world. Do you not habitually |
publish false news and revamp old humbugs7" |
20, yes. OF courze do. Say. don't you want |
to 60 into syndicate on"
Again those terrible hands shook the half |
Magyar. This is your last warning. |
Now. answer me. Do you not habituay and |
newspaper
well. II eggsaggerade somevat"
The hands frightened about his throat. do
you not lie. and swear to the les about your
circulation2 Speak the truth. now, or you will |
never speak agaipl"
The Hungarian bowed his head In the dust
Of the floor. well. vat you eesbect3 Subbose
do? OATS the way make my business. Won't
you let me hat my glasses ?"
"Wretoh!" cried tho voice. would you court
death Who. think you, am II"
You seem to know me bretty veil. but
don't know you."
am HONEST JOURNALISM" said the voice,
sterniy.
nefer heard Of you. Vat you want? hat
no blacs on my baber for YOU"
No. miserable mani have come to warn
you. have watched your course Pulitzer. I
know all your acts OF underhand trickery your
nauseating puffsries. your incessant i'm
pastures. and your ilimitabls lies. have
seen with mnulaJ ra1a and sorrovu tho Al, |