Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-08-26
SQEIBS.
A woman of the period is fenale type

CSN1bC
A woman of the period is female type
setter.
Almost any discussion now is a heated
one. This Is official.
A restaurant waiter takes in the meas
ure of msn from tip to tip.
In Summer hotel there always seems
TO be room at the top.
There is town of 1900 inhabitants in
Michigan without a dentist 1t has
blacksmith, however, who does plain work
in that line.
Customer in restaurant) - waiter.
how long have You had this fish on hands"
Waiter-"Dat I cuddent say sab. Ise
only been wukin' here bout er month"
Stentniak, the Nihilist and Anarchist,
is coming TO this country. AL right: he
can come, but we want none of his Stef-
niaktions while he is here.
The man who can pass the warning no
tice, paint" without testing the matter
with his finger to seesif it is dry, has suffi-
Gent will power 10 give up drinking.
Mrs. Lsngtryswho applies simultaneous
ly for citizenship and divorce. thereby dem
onstrates that she is thoroughly acquain-
ted with the customs of the country.
A canal boat loaded with beer was sunk
in the North river the other day, and now
all the tramps in the city have taken TO
drinking the water.
A Dakota woman is commended for her
courage in killing wildcat. 1t does not
take halt as much courage for woman
TO slay a wildcat as to kill mouse.
Where are You going, my pretty maid!"
Il am going in bathing" sir she said,
Look out for the undertow. darling maid
III not get my feet wet, sir" she said.
After running a lawn mower for an
hour this morning, he remarked that If
ever he said anything derogatory or IN
kind of the snow shovel he would most
willingly take it back.
Why is the editor in tears,
Why does he look forlorn?
1t is because, my little dears,
Some one has gently scooped his shears
And gone.
Albany editor to the eporters-"Gen-
tlemen of the local staff, see that five
hundred dollar counterfeit bills are III
circulation in this vicinity. You will
please examine your salaries as you re-
ceive them"
mo, Algernou, l can not marry YOU.
Papa will not allow it." "Why mott"
Because he says you are an actor"
Your father is much kinder than the
press"
They say all that Kalakaua does nova
days is to loaf aboat the palace and draw
his salary. Its queer that anybody
| should have to go to the Sandwich Islands
to get material for a paragraph of that
kind.
An embarrassed young man who had
just been married by clergy man of this
city, not knowing how TO express his
gratitude, in hanijng over a small fee
said; Il hope to give you more the next
| time"
That is rather shabby pair of trous-
ers you have on for man in your posi-
ton" YES sir; bat clothes do not make
the man. What if my trousers are shah
by and worn? They cover warm heart,
sir"
\ female evangelist in Indiana is tell
ing the girls that not five men in a hun
dred are good enough for them to marry.
The girls go right along marrying, how
ever, and every blessed one of 'em thinks
she gets one of those five white sheep.
'What are you crying about johnny"
asked Mr.. FiZZIetop of his little boy
Johnny Christmas Day. II can't-boo
tind-boo-my candy horse and then
the poor little fellow broke down com
pletely. "Where did you put it?' II
eat it up"
1t is said that a Judge in Dakota re-
Gently ordered three men ont of the court
room because they were cOatless. This is
the almost universal custom of the courts
everywhere. When the Court finds that
man can not maintain his suit, he is
told to go.
"Women are unreasonable creatures"
observed Brown, as he ordered another
round for the boys. Now, there's my
wife. Before We were married, when |
went TO see her she always thought it was
too early for me to go home, and now l
| can't go home early enough to suit her.
Burglars are sometimes so tastidious
as to decline to take anything but gold
coin, but all members of the profession
are not so hard to please. A st. Louis
detective recalls the case of thief who
stole hive of bees, of another who stole
a skeleton from a dime museum, of an
other who relieved menagerie of a case
rattIesnakeg, of another who took cigar
store Indian, and of still another who
| confscated the clothing of a baby that
had not yet arrived IN the world.