The Washington critic., 1887-12-22
invoke the protection of the American
Government in the event of trouble"

invoke the protection Of the American
1 Government in the event of trouble"
".
Speaking of clever things" says Cap
tain Hasslcr of the Interior Department,
who enjoys the reputation Of being one
Of the best story tellcrs in public life,
"you all remember dear old Beau Hick-
man, the notorious beat of ante-bellum
days? I shall not soon forget my first
meeting with him. 1t was in the early
days of the war. One day crowd Of
soldier boys myself among the number,
| stepped into the rotunda at Willards
Hotel. The first person we met was
Beau, faultlessly dressed and serene,
smiling MS usual The boys gathered
about him and began plying him with
questions. "rell US, Beau" said one of
the youngsters, show you manage to live
without working?" "Ah," said Beau,
drawing himself up stifily, that's u Sc
cret, and don't tell my secrets without
being paid for them" He paused
for moment, and coolly counted US
over and said: "Therc are Just six
teen of you. If you'll chip in quar-
ter apiece I'll tell you." In less than
thirty seconds sixteen shining twenty
five-cent pieces were laid in Beau's hand.
He satisfied himself that the number
was correct, and then, sliding them
deftly into his trousers pocket, he faced
about, and as he stalked majestically
away he added: "You want to know,
gentlemen, how live without working:
Well, this is one way. Ia, tai And
then as he disappeared in the direction
of the bar the boys, with one accord,
shouted; "sold, by iove!'
-.
~ notice the statement" says q gen.
tlcman III the Courier-Journdl, that
when L. Berry Wall was in Louisville
he made himself conspicuous by loud
dressing. That was certainly not the
case. Mr.. Wall was frequently seen at
Churchill Downs and about the PEN
dennis Club, and he never wore any
thing that might be styled ultra. He
was an exceedingly modest man, and,
beyond the fact that he was always neat
in attire, there was nothing worthy of
remark about his appearance. If he had
n mania for swell suits, and lots of them,
he made no display of it during his
visits to Louisville"
~.
A savant at the Smithsonian Institu-
ton tells the New York Sun q good story
about one of his associates who is an
expert in prehistoric relies. A large
amount of truck that had been dug out
of mounds in the West were brought to
the Institution for examination and
identification, and the old professor
went to work at it, studying each piece
carefully, placing labels upon them,
with numbers and references to the
pages of his notebook, upon which he
wrote his conclusions, intending when
the examination was dorA to make an
elaborate report upon the collection and
build upon It the history and descrip-
ton of the people by whom the articles
were made and used. While the old
gentleman was at work glue-pot used
in the carpenters shop was broken,
and a way coiuiected with the
Institution smashed what remained of
it into small pieces and threw it into
the archaeological pile. When the
professor came across one Of these his
curiosity was greatly aroused, and after
building in the most excited manner,
|
covcry in the collection. He held up
the piece of IRON with the glue adhering
to it as the phenomenon, and explained
that the glue was some unusual compo-
sition, evidently made by the prehis-
toric races for the purpose of lining
sacred vessels. He had never seen any
thing like it before, and believed that
that was the only piece in existence.
After he found other pieces like 1t in the
collection his excitement increased, and
scraping off a few shavings from the
precious substance he took them to the
chemist for analysis in order that he
might ascertain just what ingredients
the ancients used in lining their sacred
vessels. In the mean time the joke
had been whispered around among
the employees of the Institution,
and most of the professors time was
occupied in explaining to them the
wonders and the archaeological import.
ance of his discovery. Finally he be-
gan to suspect something was wrong
from the ill-concealcd amusement shown
by some irrcvercnt members of the staff
and when one of them told him that ht
could bring him any amount of that sort
of stuff the old professor nearly col
lapsed. Recovering himself, he told
, the scoffer, with an air of superiority
and a touch of irony'in his voice, thai
, he would be glad to see any other speci
mems. lie was Immediately gratified by
having glue pot brought to him from
the carpenters bench. When the pro
fessor realized that he had been the vic
tim of practical joke his fury knew M
, bounds, and he didn't speak to hi
tormentors for several weeks afterward
~.
, Attorney-Genera Garland still refuses
to shake that old hat, says the New
,, York Suns Washington correspondent
i He wore it when he first came to Wash
ington as Senator, and the top coat h,
e brought from Arkansas at the same tim,
has been taken down from the hool
again for another winters service. Blu
l The coat is all right. 1t does not fit hin
T.. shoulders, and hangs like a shirt on
bean pole. 1t is not much the wors
y for wear, but the hat is in II condition o
advanced decay. The braid on the brin
: is badly worn and shows fringe, am
Il there are several small holes in tn
n crcases in the crown. A law ought h
i be passed by Congress placing 1t ON tn
/. retired list, for it is totally disabled
!. Garland is by no means penurious. IL
:. is II generous man, and his purse is al
ways ready to open at every appeal fo
charity, but his negligence in dress is
serious matter. Whitney and Bayar'
have talked to him about it severa
: times, but he always says that he like
d old clothes better than new and wasn'
=