The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-06-25
THE EDITOR IN COURT.

"I've been sorry more than oce,
said Haroun Alraschid, as he sank
heavily into his new cane-seated
throne, "that l let the editor of the
Gazette off SO easily. / threw the
veil of charity over his nefarious
practices and let him depart in
peace, and he has kept on swearing
about the circulation of his paper
ever since"
"And in his biography of you,"
chuckled Giafar, she makes you
out to be 62 years of age"
"This levity is ill-timed, Giafar," F"
said the caliph sternly. II can
afford to pass over that assertion
in contemptuous silence, as it is
well known that l only recently
attained my majority; but when
he states that l used to write for a
comic paper feel that owe it to
myself to make an earnest protest.
But this is not what agitates me
this morning. Giafar, have you
seen to-day's Gazette?"
"No, your nibs."
"Well, on the first page is long
interview with an actress, which 1
read with a good deal of interest
until | got to the last paragraph
and found that it was only an ad-
vertisement of toilet soap. Then
1 turned to the next page and
read an account Of a terrible cy-
clone in Balsora, only to discover
finally that it was paid puff of a
patent medicine. Then l perused
a chapter of an intensely interest
ing love story and found that the
remainder of it was to be published
in serial form in the Weekly Ro-
mancer. Now this sort of thing is
played, Giafar. i have sent for the
editor. Even now he should be
here"
AS the caliph spoke the door
opened and the editor entered and
approached the throne with a cheer
full smile.
"How's everything, Haroun, old
man," was his greeting.
'I'm not in a mood for lightsome
badinage," thundered the monarch
II have sent for you that l may pro-
nounce sentence upon you. Look
upon this-and this-and this I"
and he thrust copy of the Gazette
into the editors face.
"Ha, ha, ha y laughed that in
dividual, as he glanced at the arti
cles indicated; ''got fooled, did you,
you illustrious nibs? Big scheme,
eh?"
"You ought to know by this
time" was the caliph's stern re-
sponse, "that l abominate deceit in
every form. l have determined to
put a stop to this sort of thing
and also to you. Do you want to
say a prayer or two before | sum-
mon the executioner?"
"Dunno's / do," said the editor.
"Too bad, too bad !" he continued
musingly. 81 don't mind so much
rs far as / am concerned, but l am
sorry on your account"
"What do you mean?" inquired
Hsroun Alraschid.
"Why, you see," explained the
editor, 81 have good deal of inhu
ence with these advertisers, and
I've been fixing things so as to let
you in. But that's all over now"
II don't understand you," said
the caliph, with evident curiosity.
"Well," said the editor, you see
the proprietors of the Pearl of Bag
dad face powder are prepared to
pay you 500 sequins if you'll sign
little note stating that you have
used their preparation and found
it superior to all others. Then the
manufactures Of DR.. Giblet's cough
balsam has commissioned me to
offer you 500 sequins for seventy
five word testimonial to the excel
lence of his medicine. l have three
other chances for you, too-but
that's all over. Summons your
headsman, and let's have an end
of it,"
The caliph then exchanged few
whispered words with Giafar. adj
dressing the editor he said:
"My vizicr counsels mercy, so l
guess I'll let you off this time.
These offers are all open, you say?"
"Oh, yes, your nibs."
"Well, 1 guess I'll accept them.
You fix the business for me, will
youW
"Cert."
"And remember must have cer-
titled checks"
That's all right, your nibs. And
now / must go back to the office.
So long,"
"By by"
SWELL" mused Giafar, "if had
that mans abilities l wouldn't be
running a third-rate daily paper
and inserting want advertisements
free. He ought to be an alderman
or q bank clerk, he had"
Husband-Don't you put powder
in these biscuits? Wife (who does
her own cooking Yes, dear don't
,.o,, lilo 10 IL Il think vnu have