The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-05
From the New American Dictionary

.
Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
Author-A man who scissors the distance
tables out of a railway guide, the population
of cities from the census, an article on Vol
canoes" from the encyclopedia, the
rules of base ball from newspaper alma
nae and then publishes it under the title of
Gems of Thought and Mines of Knowl-
edge The term was formerly applied also
to person who wrote a book; in this sense
it is now obsolete.
Beauty, Professional-See Advertising
Agency.
Congress-A benevolent association, or
ganiZed for the purpose of supporting the
Congressional Record aud denying what
ever may be printed therein. See, also, ar
ticle ON Natural Gas.
Critic-See Manager.
Divorce-See Chicago
Drouth-See Prohibition.
Duel-A fashionable amusement, former
ly considered dangerous, but now quite
popular among the leisure classes on account
of its assured harmlessness II is highly
recommended by physicians for all persons
who are too weak TO play base ball.
Egg-A tribute of respect and admira-
ton. See Lecturer
Fun--See Boys and "Headache.n
Gum, Chewing--A course of study at a
girls school; see also, caramel and bed-head.
Horse-A complicaBion of strange dis
eases that develop Immediately after the
sale, See Taken I'M and Honest Far.
mer."
Independent--One who always takes the
other side to show that he can't be infiu-
enced.
Judge-A title of honor applied to gentle
men who held stop watches and have the
best seats at horse races; in uncivilized
communities sometimes applied to persons
who preside at the sessions of courts of
justice. ,.n., 81. a.,e la.
Kicker-A man who never originates any
thing or suggests anything and opposes
everything anyone else, suggests See
Lady1A female who takes in washing,
does kitchen work OF waits ON hotel tables.
Major--A citizen of Georgia.
Narcotic-See Sermon"
0nion--A drug for strengthening the
breath; much used by confidential people
whom you cordially, dislike and who are
forever trying to whisper something to you
which you do not wish TO know.
Professor-Any one except an instructor
in a college or university; usually horse
tanner or dancing master; sometimes a corn
doctor.
Quartz unit of measure applied to the
size of the hip pocket in Kansas a flask
which holds about enough for five men in
Boston, three in Ohio and one in Arkansas.
Rider-In England, man who tries to
fall off horse; i'll New York, man who
does fall Off See Bounce" and Buck"
Talk-A singular sound produced by
opening Il vacuum; disease often fatal to
Presidential candidates, who are apt TO be
attacked by il unless restrained by their
friends. See ''Lockjaw."
Unbrella--A myth of the Nineteenth
Century; piece Of portable property that
cannot he held in severally; something
which you have not, or if you have, IL is
not yours; that which.camot be kept See,
also, "Thief."
Vanity-The quality by which a man is
enabled TO lightly ascend the long stairway
to the editorial room with poem.
Wrath---The quality that enables him TO
go down again half the time.
Witness--The principal victim in any
criminal trial; one who is forbidden by
American law 10 say what he saw or repeat
what he heard. See "Brow beat" and
Badger
X-Something which we do not happen
TO have about Us for a couple of days.
ZodiaI,--A procession of animals ON the
cover OF the almanac; the interior depart
ment ON street parade; merely introduced
into the language as part of a scheme to
enable the letter. lizard to make itself useful /;
nuff zpd t4fssz sassy