River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-06-02
Won { you stay 10 breakfast, q
NO SAMPLE OF FLYERS.

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NO SAMPLE OF FLYERS
lis this where they sell stocks?'
she asked, stepping up to the counter
with engaging trepidation.
.Yes'm. Did you wish to invest?'
well, yes-no; the fact is, don't
know exactly. Ny cousin Charely
does nothing but buy stocks, and they
say he makes lots of money. Now l
thought I'd like"
"Ah, yes. understand. You thought
you'd take a flyer.
Yes, / guess that's what | wanted
What funny names you brokers haver
And what stock do you desire?"
20, | want one of those that you
buy for so and sell tomorrow for SIS
just SO. Keely Motor is what you
want. "
''Is it? Well, of course you know.
You couldn't cut off few samples, /
suppose? | don't know, you know.
whether they are wanted by the lady
who asked me to inquire, you know"
Very sorry, madam; but we never
give patterns"
The lady looks straight into his face,
losses up her chin, and hounceS out
with the remark; well, | neverw-
Boston Transcript
MINNEAPOLIS HAIL.
Omaha man Rather rough climate
up your way, isn't it?" Minneapolis
beautiful climate, eternal
summer almost; in fact we have pretty
good proof that the Garden of Eden
was located there" Il saw by the
papers a day or so ago that hailstones
as large as goose-eggs fell at st. Paul. y
ooh! We've had 'em as big as
pumpkins at Minneapolis. y Omaha
World.
THOUGHT TaEY WERE CARELESS.
Little Dot don't like to stay in
the house this way. What makes it
rain so hard?"
Omaha mamma-"So the grass can
grow and the flowers come ou., dear
docs the angels send down all this
wet just for the grass and flowers?"
Il Suppose so.
. We'll, what do they slosh it all over
everything for? There isn't any flowers
in the streets.
1T can't be helped, guess"
II guess, maybe, they are hired
angels, and is used to washing win
dOws.
REASONING BY ANALOGY.
A boy Of was crying at a street
corner the other day when woman stop
ped and asked the cause of his sorrow.
.'S-stubbed my toe on s-stone!'' he
gasped.
well; don't cry. Why don't you
kick the stone?"
"C-cause | went to bed without my
supper once to spite my mother
and-and | was the only one who
had the stomach ache all nightr'
BUSINESS WAYS IN TENNESSEE.
Tennessee is no state for a man to
make money in, he said on the train
coming up from Nashville.
''Why?"
''Wen, | bought 2 saw-m i'll at sheriff
sale for $500 and had to sell it back to
the former owner for $175."
Chow did you have top
"Why. do you suppose I'm fool huff
to stand out about $125 when a Teller
has got shotgun leveIed on me. They
are national in their ways OF doin bust
ness, and I'm going back to Wisconsi n
WISDOM OF BABES AND sUCKLINGs.
A man sat on a salt barrel on Michi-
gan Grand Avenue yesterday making a
great display Of eating raw carrot 4
small colored boy halted in front of
him, watched the performance for
while and then said:
..My ladder tried dat dodge de odder
day"
What dodge?7
..Tryin' fur to get sympathy, but it
didn't work.
"Wny?"
"Kase de whiskcy smells right frew
de karret. He's tryin' onions now.
THAT SETTLES IT.
Little Dot-Mamma, can't go over
to see Lucy to-day
Mamma-You must not 60 anywhere
near Lucy to-day. She has the mea-
/ sles.
..Well l isn't 'fraid of measles. Can't
| go?"
I cliff you should take the measles
perhaps your dollie might get them.
..Oh! | didn't fink of that
FIRST PRINCIPLES OF JOURNALISM.
Look here" said the editor of Da-
kota paper on his return from a week s
absence, to the Office boy, Il see you
say in this weeks paper that Maj.