davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
At a Low Ebb.
Arkansaw Traveller

Arsansaw Traveller
u. Abeison Peters, said the managing
editor of great daily, glancing at card
which had just been handed him. SHOW
| him up"
A few moments later man so conscious
| of his unim pressiveness that he made
| painful efforts to be impressive stepped
| into the room. He was dressed like an
| undertaken, aud, bowling to the editor,
| presented him with q sort of pallbearer' 5
| smile.
| You have, of course, read my paper"
| said the visitor, as he lifted his coat-taiis
| and seated himself.
'What paper do you representa-"
| "The Hoganville Forum. l am the
! humorist of that paper. OF course you
! have read extracts from it:''
| NO, think not" the editor cruelty re-
| piled.
! why, The Hornpike Pebble repub-
| lished an article of mine this week. Be
lleve I've got copy of it now"
He drew out small sheet, firted the
creases out of it, and pointed to an article
| headed. "A Good Joke on our Leading
! Merchant" Il wrote that the other night
while my wife was at the festival. 1 can
always write better when am alone"
| so can l, and l have considerable
work to do at present" the great editor
replied.
! Yes, much BETTER the humorist re-
| piled. Il am growing out of foolish
| dialogue and am getting down to senten-
tious merit. l think that every smile
| should be accom- panied by a healthful
| suggestion, every laugh by thought As
l make progress in this direction l find
that my work is read by a more select
| class. l used TO write for minstrel and
| circus men, but now write for philo-
sophers. Now, to show you how far above
| my former self l am getting, will relate
| little incident"
! "YouR have to excuse me-"
| "Only take a minute. This morning
went over to the circus ground and ap-
| piled for admission, but do you know,
sir, that | was refused! | had gotten SO
! high above the circus that the fellow, to
| get even with me, refused to let me look
at his show. Then a good idea occurred
to me. [ thought that l would come
around and let you interview me on the
subject. Capital, don't you Think"
| Capital effrontery, yes. You must OK
cuse nae, or, rather, 1 shall be pleased to
| excuse you"
Got circus ticket about your clothes
apy-where?"
Close the door after you, please"
"Give me circus ticket and I'll send
you an article. No? Got none? Is it
possible? Sitting right here almost with
in sight of the tent and got no tickets.
| must say that journalism in this tow,
| Is az low ebb"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
The Territorial Loan Agent.
naIn,o Dill

''You are accused of holding up a man
at the depot, showing six shooter under
his nose and making him give you S25,
said justice of the peace to a Dakota
loan agent who had been brought before
him.
"Those are about the facts in the case,
replied the loan agent.
Then 1 shall be obliged to hold you for
robbery"
Just let me explain how it was. You
see he was leaving the country-the train
was already in sight. l knew ne had the
S25 and there wasn't time to get it any
other way. This business method may be
just slightly irregular, but the time was so
short that was the best l could DO and
that's all there Is about it. If | had
known he was going sooner 1 should
have got him to sign q chattel mortgage
and then everything would have been
regular"
WELL" replied the Judge, 'lf that's the
case l suppose it's all right. Try an
get the mortgage though, wnen you can
its more blsiness-like."
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
Amos keeter.

There's lively little erseter which is
known as Amos Keeter and il couldn {
be much heeter If ii tried;
It is ever sweetly singing while about
you, swiftly vinging, seeking out place
for singing through your hide;
In gore tbs ever vsdin', lancei from
grandsm and from maiden, till its veins
are overIaden with the stuff;
And yet, though rich it's diet. tn. small
creeter ne'er is quiet, and you really can't
come nigh 1t which 1t fuf;
You think you're sure to lam it. and
against the wall you jam it, but you'll sad
ly mutter dammit, az it skips;
On, smart is Amos keeter, on your very
nose he'll tetsr, and be says this Is my
neat-ers as he nips;
Contonnd the vretched creature; be
svells your every feature. q. he bleeds
you like leech or dineth of your face;
On, if be sang in Eden, no stronger
proof I'm needin' of the cause of the
secedin' from the place.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
Scotch Cure for Whooping Cough.
Greenock Telegraph.

Old Scottish people, or those convers
ant with the supetstitions and customs of
the country, are well aware of the efficacy
OF the cure which the asS war supposed 10
have wrought in the case of whooping
cough, and the following incidents will
be read with interest: One afternoon
recently a curious display of superstition
occurred at Maryhill, within view of the
police Office. Measles and whOoping-
cough are prevalent among children in
the burg at present, and a travelling can
dyman and rag gatherer, with cart
drawn by an ass drew up in front of a
row o; houses known as 'Pirrat's row. a
little off the highway. Two children liv-
ing in the quarter are afflicted with
whooping cough. 1t has not transpired
what compensation the proprietor of the
/ ass received for the super-titious use of
| it. in the belief that it would cure the
| children of the cough, but after short
conversation the mothers of the children
| took up position on each side of the ass.
! One woman then took one of the children
and passed it through below the ass's belly
to the other woman, the child's face being
| toward the ground. The woman on the
other side caught hold of the child, and
| giving it gentle somersault, handed it
back to the other woman over the ass the
| child's head being turned toward the sky.
The process having been repeated three
| times, the child was taken away to the
| house, and the second child was similarly
treated. While this was going on two
! other children were quickly brought to
undergo the magical cure. In order that
| the operation may have its due effect the
ass must not be forgotten, and at the
close of the ceremony each mother must
carry her child to the head of the animal
and allow it to eat something, such as
| bread or biscuits, out of the chilu's lap.
| This proceeding having been performed
in turn by the four mothers, the precrib-
ed course was concluded. When it began
there were not many people present, but
before it was finished quite a crowd of
| spectators, had gathered. From inquiries
| made afterwards, it seems the mothers
are thoroughly satisfied that their child.
/ ern are the bet II of the enchantment.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
TEN THINGS A BABY CAN DO.

1t can beat any alarm clock ever invent
ed waking family up in the morning.
Give it f6ir show and it can smash
more dishes than the most industrious ser
vant-girl IN the country.
1t can fall down oftener and with less
provocation than the most expert tumbler
in the circus ring.
1t can make more genuine fuss over a
simple brass ring than its mother would
over broken back.
It can choke itself black in the face
with greater ease than the most accom-
plished wretch that was ever executed.
1t can keep family in constant tur-
MOL from morning till night and mig hit
till morning without once varying its tuue
1t can be relied upon to sleep peace
fully all day when its father is down town
and cry persistently all night when he is
particularly sleepy.
It can brighten up house better than
all the furniture ever made; make sWeeter
music than the finest orchestra organizedS
fill larger place In its parents breasts
than they knew they had, and when it goes
away it can leave a greater blank than all
the rest of the world put together.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
THE WIND AND THE sr.Rs AND THE SEA

The wind and the stars and the sea-
What song can be sung Of tkese three,
With words that are written in lnesg
All, God Of the 81 ans and the sea.
The voice OF The song. it should be
The voice or the wind IN the piues
The voice Of The song, il should be
The voice of the COST of the sea,
SFepmother snd wrccser of SHIPS;
AS de-p and as hoarse as the tune
Bleak labrador sings to the moon
With rocky and cavernous lips.
The wind aRd the stars and the SEA,
The Arctic night knoweth the three;
No other sol ssurLer il hath.
Save death and these three from of old
To whose abode throned 10 TIE cold
No living thing knoweth the path.
There nothing To grieve or Re joice,
Fer lifts up the sound of It's voice
world ere tie birth of soul;
A thousand long sSes speed by,
Still glimEcer the stars in the sky.
Still whistles the gale from the pole
Amid the unharvested plains,
The blossomlsss land where dc ith reigns,
The wind sings OF doom and of graves;
1t sings of the day wien the worl-
Shall crumble To sand, and be whiTled
Like the Dust in the teeth OF the waves.
Where ice mountains thunder and era
Where frozen waves gurgle and dash.
Where love never came with its tears
Likesa lost world S desolate cry,
Shrills sea-wipd to sea and to sky,
And only the ear OF God hears.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
PATHS Lax Religion.
S.rekosh Meu oirs.

The religious education of Mad. Patti
was entirely neglected in her youth, and
when she was married n 1863 at the
Catholic Church at Chapman she had nc
conception of her religious duties. Prof
Honsiick, of Vienna, once called on the
prima donna on a Good Friday. He
found her engaged in demolishing fine
piece of roast beef. He expressed his
surprise thereat, whereupon Mad. Patti
exclaimed, somewhat piqued:
and why shouldn't 1 eat meat on Good
Fridsy:n
"But have you never heard that the
Church forbid. the eating of meat during
Easter week."
No,"Pstti exclaimed" and / don't be
HeTe 1t, either. L am sure it's only one of
your jokes
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
A NEW MAMMOTH CAVE.
kentueky's Latest Wonder The Discover
Due to a Fox.
I,qusvilis COurizr- JOurrsl

Louisville Courier-JourraI
Some two week since, little son of W.
L. Price, near this place, ran fox into
what had long been deemed sink hole,
just under small elm tree. He had a
colored boy with him, who refused to go
with him in search of the fox, but young
Price entered, and discovered room OF
considerable proportions. Sunday morn
ing last, the matter having been discuss
ed about the streets, party of young
men determined to explore the eIvern.
They found there considerable room
within 500 feet going directly westward,
but at point about 4 % feet in they dis
covered what they denouinsted WELL"
whence flows a stream of water. This
they followed nearly three-fourths of
mile, In the course of which they discover
ed three crevices, one about ten inches
wide, the other txo each about fifteen
inches. The descent from the entrance to
the point explored was estimated to be
about one hundred and sixty feet. There
several are avenues leading of in different
directions that we're not explored. The
crevices referred to seemed to indicate the
apex of an upheaval in past ages. The rock
tipped to the right and left from them
and Mr.. n. Kelly, of New Castle, who was
in the cave Monday afternoon, declares
that he could smell gas distinctly when be
put his nose to the crevice-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
A Mining StanIpede.

Coleman L. Bishop of Rapid City
writes in the Chautauquan of "The Black
Hills of Dakota" Among other things
he says:
One morning at Custer, whom [ came
down to breakfast, the landlord, clerk
and bartender of the hotel were missing,
the hostler being in charge. The streets
were deserted, the stores, offices and bank
closed.
"Why, is this Sunday? Where is every
body?"
They're pretty near, out pecting."
"Out prospecting!"
That's what they are. Everybody
that could rustic a cayuse (get horse)
left the camp before daylight"
Where are they gomez"
ooh, you're too late, Cap'n, for show
in that deal. It's in the Limestone range,
fifteen mics from here. By this time
they amt enough prospect ground left
there for a gopher's range. A couple of
fellers came in last night and give it
away to some of their old pardners and
they lit out before midnight, but the rest
of the camp was watching 'em to the new
digging. You oughter seen the stampede
before day. They'll all be back before
night rich as Rothschild-in their minds
and the chances are not one of 'em
will ever go out there again or even put
up dollar for recordin' their claims.
You're a tepderfoot and don't know what
tools lot of men are IN such a race. Why,
stranger, I've seen this country staked
over in mining crazes half dozen times,
for four different minerals in the same
ground-gold, mica, tin and silyer-and
no one has made a nickel out of any of
them"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
FARM, HOME AND GARDEN.
THE SCH00LAARM

See where she comes adosn the lane,
With gladnes, in her laug hing eye,
And IN her hand the IA tan cane
VIII murder laughter by AND by:
Young owe turks in her Ine5ry tone.
And Desries in her rosnish ieosS,
An loos. hard. CT ook-0 Qars'iouS mean
And sob aid snitfls in h-r looks.
Her dimpled hand, that set Ks The curl
Coquettiug with her graceful head,
C-n ulaEe = boy g ear ring and Shirl
and make the boy wish he were dead.
How much she knows this blooming rose
OF human will and human won't;
One wonder is, how much she knows,
The other is, how much he Gou',.
Sweet psdagogue. l envy not
TIE merry b,ys who greet thy csl;
Inv mother cuffei my ears. good Not.
When she was young aud was small
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

aha! Ny little girl here. whe thinks
she knows everything, doesn't know that l
went TO Purple Peak farm to satisfy my
self that she had fallen in love with a
good and true man. And l did satisfy
myself"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

tanning few shavings of soap. and place
over the fire to boil. Rinse in several
waters and then drain and dry When
dry remove and place smoothly in large
book and press with weights. Very nice
lace can be made TO look like new by this
process.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
The n ew York postoftice has 5000 EN-
ployes, of which coo are letter. carriers.
Browns Llltlc .Iukn.

why, Brown, how short your coat is said
Jones one day to his friend Brown. who w:itIly
replied: Yes; but it viii be long enough before
get another Snmc men spend So much for
medicines that neither heal nor help them that
new clothes IS with them like angels viSjts-frw
and far between. Int rnaI fevers. weakness Of
the lungs, shortueSs Of breath and lingering
coughs, soon yield TO the magic utlueuc. If that
royal remedy, DR.. r. V, rierce's Golden Medical
Discovery ~
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

why do women get bald.- asks an e1-
change. Ii seems TO Us thss any one
ought to be able to answer that. it's be-
cause they don't have wives.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
To be continued.l

., 1. Case Co, are ouudlng q large
and handsome building on the fair
grounds at Racine in which they will ex
hieit Their machinery this fall.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
THE HOUSEHOLD
DELICIOUS DISH,

Crate a cocanut in glass dish, cover
with layer of sweetened strawberries
or rasberries, and the fruit with whipped
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
Chances Improved.


New York Mail and Express.
sim out just SO. / lent Jones that
amount month ago and he went crazy
yesterday"
Jones, the actor:'
Yes"
well, you stand better show of get
ting your money nov than ever before.
There's no telling what form his insanity
viii take
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

Ella-"What dre goose eggs in a base ball
match?' Charlie-"Why, innings when no runs
made Why do you askY' Ela-"Oh, moth.
Ing. thought they might be laid by the fouls Of
the game, you know"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

The former proprietor OF Dr. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy, for years made q standing, public offer
IN all American newspapers of $500 reward for q
case of catarrh that he could not cure The pres
ent propretors have renewed this offer All the
druggists sell this Remedy, together with tho
"DouChe," and all other appliances advised TO be
used in connection with it. No Catarrh patient is
longer able to say Il cannot be cured" You get
500 in case of failure
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
TO CLEAN LACE.

Fill bottle with cold water; draw
stocking tightly over ii, securing both
ends firmly. Place the lace smoothly
over the stocking and tack closely Put
the bottle IN kettle of cold water con-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

pint of raspberries in quart of
spirit must be corked tightly for a month;
clarity pound of sugar in pint and a
half of water, filter off the spirit and add
it to the syrup; mix well and put it in
small bottles.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
MAPLE BEER.

TO four gallons boiling water put one
quart maple sugar and one tables Foenful
essence of spruce; when about milk warm
add one pint yeast, and when fermented
bottle it. In three days it will be fit for
use.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
$500 Reward.

Functional arrangement Of the female system
Is quickly cured 10y the use Of Dr. r. V. Pierce :
''Favorite Prescription" 1t removes pain aud
restores health and slrength. Ry all drnggists.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
Good Health

You cannot have without pure blood; rucrrf, r.. f.,
keep well purify the blood hy taking Hoo. sars,-
pariila. This medicine Is peculiarly dcsi net 10 act
upon the blood, and through that upon all the or
gans and tissues Of the body. II has a specific ac-
zion, also upon the sccrcilons and cxcretions and
assists nature to cXpel from the system all humors
impure Particles, and cGTete matter through The
lungs, liver bowels Kidneys and skin It cfrcualy
aids weak, impaired and dcbitntch organs, inyigor-
atcs the nervous system, tones the digestion and
mrarts lie and energy.
Hoods Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. ST. six for S. Prepared only
by c. J. HOOD & co, Apothecar.cs Lowell. Mass
100 Doses One Dollar
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

Buffalo has decided to prohibit all vocal and
instrumental music in its saloons Passers by
so frequently miStook the singing for cries Of
murder that the mayer felt obliged to take action
in the after.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
TO WASH COTTON GOODS

To wash cotton goods containing a
black figure, pour boiling sues on the
goods and let stand for few minutes.
This sets the color, and When neatly
washed and iroaej, instead of q faded
garment, you have one as bright and
fresh as when first made
Ginghams and prints Of various colors
will hold their color better if washed IN
water thick ened with -four starch. Flour
Is very cleansing and viii do the work of
soap without injury to bright colors, in
one or two washlngs.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

PisO's Remedy for Catarrh is agreeable to use.
1t is not liquor n stuff 5Oc.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
RASPBERRY VINEGAR.

Mash two quarts Of raspberries in an
earthen vessel, put them IL large stone
bottle or jar, pour into them two quarts
of good wine vinegar; cork the jar
slightly and let the juice distill in sun
or warmth for two or three weeks:
then filter clear and bottle it, sorking it
well.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
CURRANT SHRUB.

Boil currant juice and sugar in proper
tioD of one pound of sugar to ono pint of
juice five minutes. Stir it while cooling;
when cold bottle it. Use like raspberry
shrub, one spoonful or two to tumbler-
full of water.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
SARSAPARIILA MEAD.

Three pounds sugar, 3 ounces tartariC
acid, one ounce cream tartar, l ounce
flour, l ounce essence of sarsaparilla, 3
quarts water. Strain and bottle it, then
let it stand ten days before using.
STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM.
Sprinkle sugar over the berries, mash
aud rub through fine sieve, measure the
juice and use one pint of juice to two
quarts of cream or custaTd. Add more
sugar. as the berries require.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
To REnoyE IRON BUST.

Place bright tin, pour over n kettle
steaming with boiling water. Moisten
the goods with water and hold the iron
rust spots closely to the tin and rub then,
with oxalic acid. As soon as you see the
rust disappear, riucs in cold water to re-
move the acid, as il tends to rot tic
goods, but if the process is performed
quickly there is no danger of this.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01

HarkI Cry upon cry comes ringing up the
vaulted path. 1t is FUulata's voice!
'Oh, Bougwan! help, help! the rock
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
coloFed" as they call It at Kimberley

cOIOTtu, Us tIIty CHI It slt hEEIIOtIict-
What We did not see, however, was the
look of fearful malsvolence that old Gago3i
favored us with as she crept, crept like a
snake. out of the treasure-chamber and
down the passage toward the massive door
of solid rock.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-07-01
ORANGEADE.

Rasp the peel off dozen sweet ard
two Seville oranges with one pound of
lump sugar. Rinse the oranges in a
basin of cold water, and use this to mois-
ten the sugar before boiling. When the
syrup is well boiled and quite clear pro-
coed as in the recipe for lemonade.
TO REMOVE INK STAINS
Ink stains are very easily removed if
put Immediately in milk and slightly rub
bed for a few minutes. If allowed to dry
they are not so easily removed, bat ca n
be by little more effort.
TO REMOVE BLOOD STAINS.
Blood s'1ins can De removed from an
article that you do not care to wash by
applying a thick paste, made of starch
and cold water. Place in the sun, and
rub off in a couple of hours. If the stain
Is not entirely removed, repeat the pro-
cess and soon it disappears.
TO REMOVE FRUIT STAINS.
Hold the goods stained over a vessel
in such way that pouring boiling water
on the opposite side of the stain it will
run through the goods, and in a short
time the stain will be seen TO disappear.
TO REMOVE SuLDEw.
Soak and wash the spots in sour milk
and you will have no trouble in removing
the same.
The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-02-16
Don't Undervalue the Boy.

Too many men make their boys feel
that they are of little or no account
while they are boys. Lay response
bility on boy and he will meet it in a
manful spirit. On no account ignore
their disposition to investigate. Help
them to understand things. Encour-
age them to know what they are about.
We are too apt to treat a boys seeking
after knowledge as mere idle curiosity.
Don't ask questions" is poor advice
to boys. If you do not explain puzzling
things to them, you oblige them to
make many experiments before they
find out, and though experimental
knowledge is best in one sense, in
another it is not; for that which can be
explained clearly does not need ex-
perimenting with. If the principle
involved is understood, there is no
further trouble and the boy can go
ahead intelligently. Do not wait for
the boy to grow up before you be-
gin to treat him as an equal. A proper
amount of confidence and words of
encouragement and advice, and giving
him to understand that you trust him,
in many ways help to make man of
him long before he is a man in stature
or ears.-American AgricultWist.