Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-11-02
Mr.. and Mrs. B0wser.

!,
mis- step off the sidewalk. had the doc
tor come up to look at the limb to see tina
40 bones were broken, and he went ava
assuring Mr.. Bowser that he would be abl
to walk out in four or five days. He ha
scarcely gone when the patient asked me il
pitiful voice if thought he was gong t.
die?
''Going to die, Mr.. Bowser! Why, wha
nonsense! What put that idea in you
heado''
81 have presentiment. II think
ought to draw up my WILL"
"It's all folly. You've got nothing but
simple sprain.''
"Simple! I tell you this is a terrible
thing, and if live two days it will be
great wonder to me. The Bowser men die
hard, but they have to die as well as othel
folks. Do l look like man struck will
death ?"
''Not = bit of it. I never saw you lool
more healthy"
| ''Mrs. Bowser, don't you deceive me! De
ceiving dyig husband is an awful crime
Has the door r-bell been muffled and the CIR
told that no callers are admitted?"
"Certainly not"
"And aren't you going to send the baby
over to mothers until you see whether
"Not bit of it, Don't be BOBBY, Mr..
Bowser. When broke two ribs last fall
you simply remarked that ought to know
better than to fall against board''
"Ah l see how it is," he walled, 'syou
| want me out of the way ssosyou can marry
again and get dude for husband. Well,
am helpless. Please do not cut my
throat or poison me, but let me die of this
hurtr'
tucked him up and patted his head and
he cried. He wanted me to hold his hand
and sat and held it until he fell asleep
Then l went up stai1s to do a little work,
and hadn't been gone over fifteen minutes
whom heard him shouting at the top OF
his voice. ran down and he thundered at
me
"1s this your love for your crippled and
dying husbando"
II had some work to do"
"Work can you think of work while !
lay here suffering untold agonies What is
making up darn old spare bed compared
to the life of your husband? Are you in a
hurry to see Grape on the door,"
"Come, Mr.. Bowser, don't be unreason-
able. 1 will do everything for your COM
fort, but things around the house must be
seen to-"
There are certain facts and statistics
which find it best to jot down in pencil. ]
jotted some down during the first three
hours Mr.. Bowser was under my care with
that accident, and here they are:
Looked at the ankle twenty-three times,
and each time solemnly assured him it was
no worse.
Bathed the ankle six times, although
there was not the slightest need of more
than two applications.
Patted him on the head and assured him
he would live ,twenty-seven times
Turned his pillow over fourteen times
This also included assuring him that his
mishap would be mentioned in the papers,
and that he would probably be referred to
as the Hon. Bowssr.
Made two sorts of Cruel, one sort of soup,
two sorts of tea, one sort of lemonade and
assured him that in case the limb mortified
I'd have it amputated in time to save his
precious life
Lied to him seven times. Had to do it.
Three different times when the door-bell
rang and I went to the door and fred
tramps off the steps had to tell Mr.. Bow
ser that prominent citizens he'd sent mes
sengers up to ask after his situation and to
| say that he need worry about nothing.
When evening came Mr.. Bowser had a
slight fever and he grew more pettish. He
wanted me to telegraph to his brother in
Japan, his sister in California, and to tele-
phone for the doctor. He also wanted a
lawyer to draw up a will, neighbor tc
come in and see about his life insurance,
and cried several times as he thought of my
marrying again and taking my second hus-
band up to spit tobacco,juice on his grave.
put in an awful night with him. He
heard cats and burglars and forty other
noises, and be refused to go to sleep for
fear he'd die without knowing it. At mid
night, after I had helped him turn over
about twenty times and had upset his pill
low until the case was worn threadbare, he
| wanted me to telephone the doctor and ask
if sprained ankle ever struck to the heart.
/ rang mp the central and the following
conversation seemed to take place
"Doctor. Mr.. Bowser has grown steadily
worse since You left and don't believe he
can live an hour longer. Yes, have done
as you told me. Oh, you knew he'd die
before morning, eh? Oh, yes, l shall be
pretty well fixed for widow. About six
hacks, l guess. Pm no hand to make a
| spread at funeral. You might"
tMrs. Bowserr' yelled Mr.. Bowser at
the top of his voice, and when I ran into
the bedroom he was sitting on the edge of
the bed, hair on end aud face pale as death.
"What do you want, dear?"
Well, the poor man actually tainted away
in his nervousness, and when he came to !
had to sit and hold his hands while he
caught cat-naps. Fhe swelling was nearly
gone from his ankle in the morning, and he
could dress himself and hobble about. He,
however, drew up his will, had two or three
mysterious conferences with parties he sont
for, and saw him looking over lot ol
photographs of monuments and tOmbstOnes
I caught him weeping once, and when
stroked the back of his neck and called him
my poor, crippled gazelle, he looked up il
| a pitiful way and said:
''Mrs. Bowser, it's awful hard to have te
die at my age"
That was Mr.. Bowser for the first two
days. On the third day he went down
town and on the fourth he gave up hin
cane. When he came home to dinner
was on the lounge with teeth and ears and
eyes full of neuralgia.
"Now whatl" he roared out.
''I'm dreadfully i'll, Mr.. Bowser."
"Bosh! A little neuralgia Mrs. Bow
ser, YOU We got no more sand than grass
hopper. III were as big baby as you are
I'd live on soothing syrup"
"But-when you had nothing but a
sprained ankle, you-you-"
"When fell fourteen feet, Mrs. Bowser,
and cracked two ribs, upset my liver,
turned my right leg clear around, knocked
my elbow loose and brought on brain fever
lay here without murmur or complaint,
and you know It'll You are a booby-a
regular BOBBY with No. Z feet, and Pll &c
back down town for my dinner
| HIGHEST MOUNTAIN IN AMERICA-The
| highest mountain in the western hemis-
phere is Aconcagua, which rises 90, Ais feet
above the sea, and is in plain view from
both Valparaiso and Santiago when the
weather is clear. Chimborazo was until
recently supposed to be the king of the
Andes, and in biographies published thirty
years age was described as the highest
mounts tain in the world. No one has ever