Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-07
A WONDERFUL CHANGE.
HOW A FASHIONABLE YOUNG WO-
MAN BECAME INTELLECTUAL.

.
MAN BECAME INTELLECTUAL.
All Owing to the "rumper'' and the
"PoIi-her'-Eniing Up With Informa-
tion Every Few Days - Memorizing
Bright Saying, and Funny stories.
Julia is the most vchemently fashion
able young woman know. Her railnent
is always stunning. the glitter of her dia-
monds is bewildcring her bonnet aspires
upward in an excelsior way that Is quite
overpowering, and the corsages of her full
dress toilets lead the van of retreat in the
other direction. julia is and has always
been brilliant and beautiful to the eye,
and nothing else. If her precious little
head had been a wax form in a hair
dresssr's window it couldn't have had less
in it But not very long ago the son and
heir of family that goes in for the in
telleCtual took Jula's wealth and Julia
along with il TO his pocket and heart, and
since then the most amazing change has
come. over her. She is not "A whit less
s,renuously stylish than she was before,
but she has actually become quite intel
lectual and is even brilliant in converse
I tlon- sNllt " ~ WAS l''Nti hlIoHh ~
anything smacking more strongly OF in
telligence than oh, how lovely can
now talk interestingly about almost any
thing that society knows about, and is
wittier and more sparkling than any of
her husbands intellectual circle. | said
something to her the other day about what
a wonderful change marriage had made N
her. and she laughed and said:
,.r.' rr,ar dnnn
that. It's all owing TO the pumper and
the polisher'
The who'''
'The pumper and the polisher," she re
piled, as coolly as if she had been telling
me what tailor Rad made her dress That
is what call them, because one of them
pumps information into me by the head
full, and the other polishes me off, makes
me brilliant, tells me what to say to be
witty. You see, after l was married
found that all my husbands family were
too awfully cultured and intelligent to
| think anything of my dresses and dia-
monds. and that they were disposed to
look down on me rs an empty headed
chatterbox who didn't know anything and
wasn't very smart anyway. Well, | just
vowed 10 myself that they shouldn't do il,
and that I'd make them thankful to have
me in the family But | couldn't think
of going into the thing deep, you know,
studying, and all that. l hadn' the time,
and il would have been too much of a
bore | had heard of the pumper; some
of the girls l used to know employed him,
and SO | 90 TO him three or four times a
week and just get filled up with informa-
ton about anything | want to know y
But how can you tell what subject
you'll want To be filed up withr'
''Oh. that's easy enough You know
conversation generally starts from some
topic of the day, and if you keep yourself
pretty well filed On those you can keep
your oar going Occasionally have him
give me an extra hour or so on some other
subject. and by starting the conversation
in that direction and gradually unloading
all he has told me, | am getting rcputa-
ton for culture that will eclipse that of
nv husbands sisters all put together
But YOU don't remember it, do you,
after you've unloaded once,''
Goodness, no, ! don't try to. It's
too much trouble II think l shall need
II let him fill me up again on the same
subject You see, he knows everything.
think he must eat and drink books as
we'll as read them If l want to know
about Wagner's music or Munkacsy's
paintings, or Stanley's travels, or Aris-
tophaue's comedies i just sit down and
let him taIk il at me for an hour, while l
listen and take a few notes, and altogether
! remember enough of it to pass for know
ing a great deal more than do. Why,
nv dear. YOU would he astonished. per-
fectly astonished, if you knew how many
patrons he has among the very best peo-
Pile Society is full OF them. But III
wager my new diamond ear rings that
not one of them would admit ever having
heard of him.
''But the other one, whom you called
the polisher. what about him.
.'Oh, that's the funniest part of it all.
You know I'm supposed to he quite q
witty. entertaining person. Well, that is
all my polisher l 60 to him regularly
every day, tell him where | expect to go
and whom l expect 10 see, and then he
gives NE lot of bright things to say and
queer little ideas to sandwich in and
funny stories TO tell that will probably be
apropos TO the conversation that l shall
engage IN. That man has been worth his
weight in gold TO me, and | think I've
paid him about that much already for his
services But l never could have got on
without him"
Does he have very many employers"
l asked, beginning TO wonder how many
Of the bright things l had admired only
the night before had come from him.
Il don't know about that, because, as
you can imagine, he keeps everything con
cerning his business as secret rs the grave.
But am nwfully afraid he has begun to
duplicate his witticisms in my own set.
If he does that l suppose l shall have 70
deed him one of my mines outright to get
his services ell to myself. Oh, it's great
bore. and it's awfully hard work, too. l
don't know whether or not III be able to
go through the winter with it. But | was
determined | wouldn't be looked down
on. Clara Belle in Cincinnati Enquirer