Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1887-10-06
HE parlor is probably the most fire..

THE parlor is probably the most fre-
quented of all court-rooms.
New JERSEY may be the fatherlapd
of the mosquito, but he is to hum in
many other places.
Why is the letter I like an assessor!
Because it converts axes into taxes. =
Ne,cnlaa Independent.
A PHYSICIAN, having bought an in
terest in milk route, derives greater
income from the we'll than he formerly
did from the sick.
SnIKINs says man fit for the place
is the prize-fghter who thumped his
antagonist all over the ring. .-Ne,r-
man Independent
A YOUNG lady being asked how she
could afford in hard times to take music
lessons, replied: "Oh, contine my
self to the low notes."
YOUNG WIFE-I took great pains with
that cucumber salad, John, and I hope
you enjoyed it. Husband (anxiously)-
I'm afraid, my dear, that I took great
pains with it, too.
"GooD MAwNlN, Wilyum; has yo' read
about the communication de Pope has
glib Doctor NIcGlynn?" "No, sar; dis
chile steer clear oh dat; communication
corrupt good manners, sar."
"CHAPP1E, you were at the seashore
last season?" Eyes" "Now what was
the most imposing sight you saw while
there?" "Well, about the most impos-
ing thing that I can recollect was my
hotel bill.
"YouR razor must have n good deal
of political influence" said the man in
the barber's chair, the tears springing
to his eyes. "How so, 'sah?" asked the
barber. Because it has got such a
pull" replied the customer. -Teras
SJtings.
1t has been noticed that a girl who
has graduated from Vassar and had
S25, 900 spent on her education will,
after marriage, hold clothes-pins in her
mouth and gossip over the back fence
| while hanging out the washing, Just
like other women. You can't change a
woman's nature. Bell.
Miss GoIDPEN-How can you tell,
Mr.. Blackink, when you have written
something worthy Of yourself and your
ambition? Mr.. Blackink By the let
ter which the editor writes me. If he
incloses my manuscript despair; if q
check am aware that 1 am up to my
usual mark.-Wall Street Ne,us.
"I SEE" said friend to the editor OF
Dakota daily, Chat you call these
papers that you are printing now the
second edition. How do they differ
from those you We're running off hall
an hour ago?" "We stopped and oiled
the press, )" and the journalist reached
for the lever again Bell.
A MAN who knelt down in Broadway,
New York, and prayed God to "save
New York from the politicians" was ar
rested on suspicion of being insane. Il
is not surprising that the New Yorl
authorities should consider that mar
insane who supposed that any power il
existence could save New York from the
politicians. .-Norristolv71 Herald.
"GIMME bre'kfas' an I'll split yer ter
sticks O wood" said tramp to Siou,
Falls lady as she came to the back door
mo, sir; won't do it unless you spill
twenty sticks" "But yer uster gimme
bre'kfas' fer ten sticks" "Can't hell
it; breakfasts have mad boom since
you were here last. You split twent,
or move on, else I'll unite the dog ant
come out with kettle of hot watel
and scream for the police w-Dakott
Bell.
SOME years ago learned counsel
with much volubility and an undyine
length of wind, had prolonged areiter
ative argument to q pitch which tn,
judicial sufferer could bear no longer
II don't want to interrupt you, Mr.
-" said the Judge, blandly, "bu
you've said that before" "I'm sure
beg your Lordship's pardon; I had n,
recollection of having done So" "Nt
Doubt" replied the Judge, ut was
long time ago. ."-Londoa World.
AJEyANDER