Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1887-09-10
The Evils of Gift Giving.

Sham and show, p%erplexity, annoy.
ance and extravaganza ave crept into
the customs OF gift giving. Though
II may make a gift out of the depth
OF the heart, and ito it becomingly and
unassumingly, yet it seems as if o
dozen influences were bearing on him
to force him into greater expense than
he can afford. OF TO give where he is
reluctant to do so, or where he must
make Il show of the article given.
Quiet, transformations, spontaneous
giving shines brightly, when we find il,
amid the dreary hcartlessness, the
| gaudy show and the heartburnings that
often accompany the formal giving that
is II part of social life.
The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all problems, even outrank-
ing the common, "'what shall | wear"
then is, "What present shall | send"
1t is not enough TO go and participate
in the social duties and to be cordial
in well wishing and congratulation,
for none Of this will pardon the neglect
81 oversight of the gift. There will be
the question, where is Mrs. Jackson's
present" and then the unpleasant
comment, if she has made none.
SO Mrs. jackson sets out to- find
some compromise between pride and
purse, perhaps poverty, something
that costs no more than ,solutcly
compulsory and yet looks as if it were
worth a great deal more, something
that the other guests will not look ut
slightingly if not speak of contcmptu-
oasly, or at least think of in the same
spirit.
And then the guests compare these
proxies Of themselves and put them
selves on exhibition, after n fashion,
but in the same way hat they would
DO, if they were to stand up before a
committee of critics and have the style
and elegance of their clothing passed
upon. The show is at last over, but
the iealousies and he%artburnings re-
main, the fear that responsibility has
been endangered by the insigniticance
III the gift, or the overlapping conscious
ness of IA few that they each made the
best Of n of the best presents Of the
lot.
Afterwards, as is more or less tho
custom in sotnc parts of the country,
the names of the donors and Il bricf
description of their gifts, appear in
some newspaper, there to undergo fur
Their comparison aud criticism and all
the train of accompaniments. Finally,
If the present was valuable enough, it
may find its way TO a shop where
duplicate presents are bought and
sold, SO little did the receiver care
about the personality Of the gjper, on
of such little use is it to the recipient
among several other presents OF the
same kind.
Gift eXt0rtion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, il
they are short Of that. Gifts are by
30 means always the token Of friend
ship and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made TO accom-
pany them, they are dcmoralizing, they
are unpleasant features of what take
the form of duties, and they are dark
spots in social life.
Something is wrong when "a present
is made Il test of social standing, or
when it is the prerequisite of perform.
ing a social act. There is an oppor.
tunity for reform, when what is appar-
cnsly a friendly deed, is confessedly
empty OF honest intent, when it is
b~urdensome, annoying, compulsory,
false-hcarted, or made for show, Or
evidence of wealth or merely for social
conformity.
The only excuse that n can make
for these abuses Of gift making, is tina,
their compulsory features have the
effect of putting people into the habit Of
making presents at a time when
their friendly feelings have not become
strong 10 prompt the act unaided.
With the growth Of these feelings, the
custom gradually gets a better and
| surcr foundation and stands more
plainly in harmony with civilization.
a gift should be an embodiment OF
sentiment, from which cost should be