St. Paul daily globe., 1887-01-23
WHIMSICAL FASHION
And WOman's Obedience to be a
cording to- Col. DOMAIN.

And WOman's Obedience to be Acc
cOrding to- Col. DOnan.
Fashion! Fitful, whimsical, tyrannic old
beldame, Wild. eXtravagant, proflisate,
ofttimes vulgar and insane. Light and tri-
| fling as the dandelienS down. or the heart
of cOQuette. Changeable as the wind on
election days, the people of dream. the
hues of chameleon. or the affections of an
| avelage siXteener. writes Pat DOnan
in the New York Sun. Yet how
vast is her power, how absolute her
sway, now irresistible her fiat! Wrinkled
and frOwsy, she issues, through her adju-
tant modiStes and artistes, often of dubious
repute, her edcts, more burdenSome than
| the Draconian Code, more binding than the
Medo- Persian laws, more variable than the
ever shifting Shanghai or mackerel on some
tall, heaveny-ponting spre; and all the
feminine world zcrambles to render FIRST
homage and obedience; every needle in
ChriStendom responds with its stitch, stitch,
stitching Of coStumal atrocities and ludi-
crosties.
What folly is too stupendous. what alb
surdity too expensive, what dumfoolery too
gigantic for her votaries? She declares, as
she did a few years ago. for black and
white as the properest hues; and, under
the influence of the stylish iniquity. our
bOulevards, our BroadwayS, Fourth streets
and Fifth avenues look like walking ceme-
teries-as if all the tombStones of some
rural churchyard had taken simultaneous
notion to Saunter abroad for holiday. She
commands the annhilation of thirty-tiVe
yaldS of calico in single dress, and the
result is bumpy, clumsy, craggy mass of
toggery. heavy enough to break the back
of an ordinary pack mule; yet Everybody
who is anybody" must Stagger under
one. She DEGREES the introduction of
jet and lava ornaments, so called; and forth
with lovely woman sails out looking like a
smashed pottery establishment in state of
total eclipse, and rattleS at every step like a
peripatetic bric-a- brac shop or tooth fac
tory with the ague. Kidney potatoes, horse
shoe nails, or paregOrc walls would be fully
as ornamental and far more useful. She
proclaimS for expansive skirts, and wagon
load of hay can pass where no fashionable
woman would dare attempt it. Presto,
change! she announces the eelskin pull
backs; and the next bright Sunday so, OOO,-
600 women are mincing along like frosted
toed chickens. and not one of them. in Eu-
rope or America, can step into her carriage
without risk of breaking her neck or hun
dred puckering strings.
And, most mutations and atrociouS of all,
behold the hideous, headache Matching,
deforned, skillet-like abomination. filled
with impossible botanical and ornitholog-
ical monstrosities that roof the loveliness of
high priced suits Of Russian hair and In
dian jute. Ne plus ultras of the imp-in-
spired ingenuity of malicious milliners, the
ancient wagon tops, sky scrapers and shak-
ers only yield in grotesque detestibihty to
some of the modern Gainsboroughs, gyp-
sizes and turbans. They look like once de-
cent head covers that fat man has acci-
dentally sat down on, or lady
elephant in Chicago dancing Slip
per has trod upon. There is, there
can be no beauty i'll mere distortion: and
these capstones of fashionable female non
SenSicality-kicking up on one side and
down on the other, towering to a cloud
| punching peak. compounded of the heav-
lest materials, straw or felt, velvet and
| China Grape, with ribbons, lace. dead birds
| and ostrich piumes, polywiggled in mad
dering labyrinth of heterogeneous fiubdub-
| berry, and topped off with shovelful of jet
bees or iridescentr scayenger beetles, brass
| hatchets, daggers and scalping knives-are
| horrible libeis on all sensible bonnets hats,
caps kettle lids or frying pans. But FASH
| ion prescribes them. and, in spite Of taste
complexion and shape of head and face,
| they must be worn.