The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-22

$50 III III sEslsS8 u fasaea 81 llaFpihg,
Asil@ u Il trails belti51l him upon
fH He nlay Be busting, hurry
"a Nll spirits, and IL so he frequently
s~A4 bis umbrella in circles from the wrist
IS he spins down the street. II he is fat he
uses his umbrella rs a cane or parasol; if he
is a clergyman he carries it Imply before
him; If he is angry he grabs it by the handle
as If il were club; and if he is dude he
pokes the ferule in front of him until it
strikes the pavement, and as he passes on
twitches it forward again
One Of the most familiar of the umbrella
carrying species is the "jabberr or shower
He Tugs his parachute under his arm, with
the ferule straight out behind md the handle
rigid in front. He pokes off more hats, in
dents more stonachs, gouges more ribs and
1abs moro spines as he walks along than one
could shake stick at in week. File never
stops to see who he has punched Not he
With his lips compressed as tightly as the lid
of an iron chest, he goes on, frowning, bump
ing into passers-by, and with an air that
seems to say: "If you don't get out of the
way you'll be hurt He is generally old and
thin, but sometimes he has not reached mid
die age The public abhors him, and he is a
nuisance that Ko-Ko most inexcusably
omitted from his famous list.
THE MILITARY SWELL.
The heavy military swell Is another inter
esting umbrella carrier. His chest sticks out
like pouter pigeons, his new plug hat
glistens like Day & Martins backing His
pantaloons are the newest, his frock coat the
highest, his mustache the waxcst and his
glare the most ferocious seen on the prone
made. He carries the umbrella by his side a
good deal as if it were a sword sticking
closely to his portly figure. II is a soldierly
act. Even his traducers couldn't deny that.
Behold him, with his dandy parasol at an
angle Of forty-flve degrees close to his ribs
as he strides along in true military step, the
admiration and envy of every helmeted
policeman on the beat and the butt foi
vulgar jokes from every barefooted passing
newsboy.
Then there Is the countryman from way
back who Tugs his venerable rain-distributoi
with him when he goes over to Ridgewa,
park See him on the boatl His back /
toward u.s. and his ancient, faded, blue para
chute is outlined beside him. He carries
like hoe, and a hoe that he doesn't care mucl
about It's creases are worn by weather, il
handle was painted, but the paint has wor
off. He Is an emblem of the hayseed re
gions, and so is his parasol, which he clings
with grip like the grip of destiny. He ma
not lug his umbrella with much grace, bu
when he gets to Ridgeway park it will b
there with him; and, no matter how man
times he saves his lifo" with the island been
he will hang on to his rain protector, and g
back with it to his home among the cor
patches and wheat fields
THE VERY FAT MAN.
1t is a rare thing for the very fat man {
use his umbrella excepta as parasol Il ward
of the SIMS scorching summer rays from hi
round and perspiring countenance, With hi
pudgy hand he grasps the handle and carrie
the parachute over his crown, while his sun
mer vest flaps to and fro, and the entire are
of his person is coursed by little rills that ri
into his shoes. He enjoys his umbrella MOI
than most people. As a general thing b
mouth is open, his brow is moist, his fe,
come down on the trembling earth lii
piledrivers as he moves on with majestic ste
and his manner of breathing resembles thl
of the porpoise when that fish comes to Il
top of the briny pillows to blow.
The Norfolk jacketed young man from Il
cities, who carries his umbrella with him
the seashore, is a noticeable specimen of Il
genus of umbrella carriers. The rim of
straw hat is as stiff as the bow of n rich ms
to poor relation, and his attire is faultles
for is he not "gilded' youth His black 81
umbrella is wrapped so small and so tight
that it looks like Cambridge walking site
He carries it daintily and negligently In fro
of him, as he saunters by the sad sea wave
watching the witching gambols OF the Made
in the surf He is harmless; so is his par
chute. Neither Of them are intended for II.
and both make a combination that doesl
look at all out of place on the golden sands
the sounding shore, when August's sun soa
arnbitiously. Philadelphia News