The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-13
Editorial Inspiration

than are dreamed of in the philosophy
of his subscribers. The thong hts that
breathe and the words that burn eman'
ating from an editorial sanctum are all
inspired. There is usually n dark and
mysterious motive for everything an
editor writes-a grand, gloomy and
peculiar incentive behind all of his most
scathing denuncations, pleasing de
scriptions. or sarcastic rallying.
A loose-jointed, shackle-gaited man
ambles into the editorial corral. and,
after few preliminary hens and haws,
asks for some exchanges.
Certainly, certainly" replied the
editor with hypocritcal lear, Take
as many MS you wish" Take the morn
ing dailies. haven't looked ut them,
but take 'em right along with you. l
don't believe there is much in them.
Take all the exchanges on the table and
under the table, if you wish. 1t was
time the room was slicked up some,
anyways" and when the man had shut
fled himself outside of the door, the
editor seizes his diamond hilted stylus
and indites
The Exchange Fiend! If there is one
human being crawling around on the
surface of Gods green earth lower than
another, he is the inhuman fiend who
feeds upon an editors journalistic pabu-
lum with the awful rapacity of the jack
nj and the voraciousness of n South
American vulture. We were this
morning compelled to fire one into
space, and we expect he is falling yet
The next one that calls at these head
quarters will receive reception that
will make him pause earnestly at the
undertakers show window on his way
home.
The editor was inspired, you see.
He was furnished with a topic and sez-
ed upon it with avidity. Such enliven-
ing incidents are regular picnics for
editorials. There are individuals who
toll not, neither do they spin. but they
furnish more ''fat'' for the journalistic
pen than they wot of while in the quite
seclusion of their homes. The bore of
the sanctum makes forcible entry into
the Office and unloads lot of canned
idiocy on the patient moulder and pud-
der of public opinion. He drools and
drivels along for an hour or more, and
all this time the foreman in the COM
posing room is executing fantastic
can-can over the PROSTATE body of the
devil and kicking him from one locality
to another on account. 1t is on account
of the poor DEVILS inability to snatch
any copy out of the hands of the giant
intellect upon the tripod. The bore de-
parts. In less than fifteen minutes
there is a perfect hailstorm of copy
raining into the composing room, of
which the following is n subdued and
lovely example.
"Bores: Your quiet business man,
sitting in his private business office,
with the door locked. and basket of
champagne under the desk, knows
nothing of life. He is a gloomy, seden-
tary recluse compared TO the wild-eyed,
agitated and hilarious member of the
editorial fraternity who is interrupted
ninety-nine times out of possible hun
dred by some ngle-braned lunatic
whom an unwise providence permits to
mingle with mankind. The quiet bus
mess man knows nothing of that which
stirs the blood and agitates the bile.
The irresistible bore, though small Of
callibre, is of long range and deadly eff
feet We were obliged to vivsect one
last evening and summoned the whole
force of the establishment to witness
his dying agonies. We limited to him
several times that he had better move
ON, but he still fingered, lie would
have it. And he got it. p"
And so we might wade through
long list of inspiratonal ideas which
are furnished the poor, perspiring ed
itor by people who never gave away a
cent in all their lives. All is fish that
comes into the editorial net, and those
parties who are afraid of comforting a
benefit upon the profession are advised
TO keep away from newspaper Offices
and haunt the purlieus of the beer eel
ar and the variety show.-Teras Syt'
ings.