Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-07-16

solemn ez If he were only 25 year old,
with both arms an legs, an were preach.
In funeral sarmon, then ye kin bait me
on coon trap. He told it jist the same
To me thirty year ago, showin' me how he
ketched one o the bars with one hand by
the throat an choked it till it weakened,
while he kicked the life outen the others,
am But hor oni | am leetie
ahead o. my story. Wen Lie fus' be-
gun TO tell me that story in 1857 he used
to show me how he grabbed one o. the
bars by the throat with his right hand
an kicked another one to death with his
foot, both at the same time Arter he
los his right arm, wen he'd come To that
place in his story, he'd say: Yen 'scuse
me, MAZE, but ye must member, says
he, 'th't 'twere with my right hand
choked the ba'r-this here way-bnt now
I've got 10 show We with my left hand
he says, how | done it. So he'd say,
'p'tend this were my right hand, then
on he'd go with his story. An that
alluz puzzled me. I'd say to myself th't
if the man were lynn he wouldn't he so
blame conscientious as to Scuse hisself
fer havin' TO use his left arm, cause he
didn't have no more n an inch an half
o right arm. Wall, it happened tht the
leg he shot of were the leit 'un, an wen
he were tellin' NE the story arter that an
kim 10 whar he kicked the bar, he'd sav
to me ez cool an elected ez could he
'Maje,' he'd say, Il kicked the everlastin'
breath Outen that bar with my left leg.
but y'll heV 10 'SCuse me for astin' We To
let me show We with my right un how
done it, he'd say, 'bein' ez my left uu is
planted mn thar on rhe ridrp
Wall, | were throw'd d into the swamp
hole o onsartinty az ia, an I've ben floun-
derin' thar ever sence. Now you come
long o me, an We'll go spend the evenin'
with Lie. He'll tell that story, an you
kin jedge mebby by hearin' on it wuther
it's lie or wuther it han't don't keer
wuther it is or wuther il haint. but
want to know sumpin' sure bout it, one
way or t'oth.r, Or I'll hustr'
We found Lie Goodyear sitting by his
fireplace in a big chair His one remain
ing arm was in sling. His sole surviving
leg was done up in bandages and propped
carefully on a stool His wife was frying
pork for supper.
why, Lie, said the major in surprise,
after we were seated by the fire, wv ats
up wi ye now1'
''Ast the oil woman" said Lie, in a
voice so deep and strong that one could
scarcely help wondering what its voice
and compass must have been when its
owner was in full possession Of all its
members.
The old woman didn't wait to be asked,
but, in a thin'and squeaky voice that con-
trasted comically with that of her hus-
band, or what was left of him, said:
''Lije is keerless-ter bic keerless.
Never see setch keerlessness. II had a
young un two year old, an it were ez
keerless ez Lie is, I'd lam the keerIess-
ness outen it. Tn hain't no 'scuse fer
setch keerlesSness. He must ha ben
horned keerless. Needn't tell me tn he'd
ha' ben kerched in that bar trap If he
want keerless. An how'd he shoot his
leg off? keerless. An he hahn satisfied
wi ieavin' his arm in bar trap an q
peggin' away at his leg wi charge o.
buckshot-yes, it were buckshot, too. Ye
can't tell me, Life Goodyear, th't ball
could ha' chswed up that leg o your'n
like it was! 'Twere buckshoti He want
satisfied even wi peggin' away at his leg
wi load o buckshot ez If he were =
pluggin' deer, an they fetchin' Of him
ham all bunged up an not wuth cent
~ JA't an PAS hiAiih tillt, SOt,
an me up TO my ears in sassage meat an
lard an headcheesei No. That want
showin' enough Yet how keerless he could
be, and SO wat does he do but up an
prance round t'other day on his crutch
out in the yard while were to the barn
milkin' an the groun' eZ slippery ez ice
wi the rain we'd been harin' Wen /
kim in found him on one side o. the door
mn tha
that's keerfu, alluz goes out setch days
wi one leg an one arm an a hick'ry
crutch. I've alluZ noticed that pertic lar
fetched him in, an he's been 'joyin' Of
hisself ever sence with his one arm broke
an the las leg he's got sprained Soon
ez he gifts rid O the arm an leg he's got
left then he's gointer gradually shed his
ears an cunjer up some slick way to do
without his eyes. He's durn consid rit,
Life is. He don't wanter leave me a Wild
der all in lump an to wunst ye see, but
wants TO kinder slide off by easy stages, q
slice at time"
The major afterward told me that he
had forgotten to mention that Mrs Lie
was ''corker." We sympathized with
Lie, and sat for two hours without his
mentioning the story that troubled the
ihnJoi acoua lie OIu
wooGsman grew impatient and restless.
Finally Lie said:
81 had story were gointer tell ye,
maje, but can't do it.n
Not the one bout the bars" ex-
claimed the major in dismay.
''Yes, the one bout the bars" said
Lie.
"Why can't We tell it, Lje'" asked the
major, appealingly.
"Why can't ] tell it," exclaimed Lie.
''Sizzlin' gingerl kin / show We how
clutched the throat o. one o. them bars
with my right hand an shets its caloric
sQuar on, wen haint got nary a hand
to show ye how 'twere done' Kin lay it
down to ye how kicked the life outen one
O. the other bars with my left leg wen
my left leg is three foot under ground an
my right un is laid up stiffer'n fence
rail an sOrer'n the earache' No, can't!
i can't do it! never know'I afore wat
1t were TO he cripple, maje, but now
do"
The major never spoke word on the
way back to the cabin, but when We got
iii and he stirred up the fire and showed
the Opaque bottle across the table, he
said:
III iHteI the sNdulpnoic OHSartlnty
up to my neck, All if Lie Goodyear dies
afOre some one else hears him tell that
story an eases my mind by jedgin' Of it
I'm goner from the Gone Woods, sonny,
an tn hain't no help for mer'-New
York sun.
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