Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-21
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE is nothing so sightless as the offci al
eve OF policeman that has been closed by a
drlnk.-Heto Orleans Picayune.
BIGGs-I tell you what, Smith, Blobson is a
marked man.
Smith, don't wonder. They say his wife
is just terrible.-BurLingt9R Free Press.
1T is said that when the Ohio river gets on
tear IL never goes further into Kentucky
than it positively has to. 1t knows how un-
popular it Is there Me, chant IraUeLer.
"IF misfortune overtakes you, SMILE" ad-
vIses a poet. That's all well enough, but
surprising misfortune overtakes you in
strictly prohibition town?-Burtin9Eon Free
Press.
81 COULD just live on that air." said young
lady, rapturouslJ, at the opera the other
night
ali you can live on air I'll marry you"
said her companion, who was an editor
Teas otTt5zg3.
WESTERN paper contains the following
touching wedding announcements; Married
at the residence of the bride, on Thursday
evening, Mr., J. W. B to Miss Mary L.
H. The wedding was strictly private,
owing to the bridegroom being still in mourn
ing for his nrsJ wife. It'd BITS.
SMALL BoY-Papa, what is carmine2
Father-Carmlne, Johnny, is kind of red .
small Boy-But what kind of red, papa?
Father (dryly)-Ask your mother, my son !:
she has some in her dresslng-case.
Small Boy-Mamma, please show me some
carmine.
Mamma (coolly)-Yes. dear; papa's nose is
carmine.-BOst0n Budget.
A sMooTH-FAcED high school youth was re-
Gently directed by the teacher of natural SCI
ences to press to his face glass tube which
had been rubbed with silE. whereupon this
dialogue ensued:
Teacher-Well, James, what sensations do
you experience?
James-Nothin' much, except L feel my
whiskers crackln'.-Neao Hdoen ReaoS.
"AED so your dear Uncle David is dead?
Was he sick long?"
mot great while, but he was great suf-
ferer. Everything. however, was done for
him that was possible"
Then, of course, you are all satisfied with
his medical treatment?"
"Oh, yes: that is to say. all of us except
Cousin'Johns Uncle David didn't leave John
anything but the family ible."-Boston
Transcript.
MISS ETHRL-Did you hear of that feat by
Balloonist Baldwin, Of San Francisco?
George-NothIngl lately.
"Why, last week he jumped from balloon
1000 feet high and landed on the ground in
perfect safety; he had 81
''Oh! of course; why that's easy"
"A parachute. you know"
"Why, yes. What did you suppose he
had?"
81 thought maybe he wore woman's thea
tire hat."-OmdhG WyrId.
"WHAT want to know is, who struck the
first blow" said an Austin Justice to Jim
Webster, who was the principal witness In
an assault and battery case.
"Uncle Ike, dar, he HIT the fust lick" re-
piled Jim.
Are you positive that Uncle Ike struck the
first blow"
"Of course is. Didn't see him reach out
and hit de fust lick, but how many hicks he
hit before dat fust one, or how many hicks dc
udder Niger hit fust am more den Pse willin
to swar ter,"-Tecds Siftings.
NIuu Rooton q auhurh of o,lorr
Sam Jones!
Do you know what such sacrilege means?
l fear you have not read the story,
Sam Jones,
OF that city of culture and beans.
You are sailing through breakers and rocks
Sam Jones.
A dangerous sea you are tossed on;
Hereafter be sure in your talks,
sam Jones,
To make glory a suburb of Boston.