The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-04-06
HONEST PATRIOTISM.


You have seen something in the pa
naperS about the coast defense. fh
idea has somehow got abroad that on
coast ought 10 BE- lined with forts ans
guns a. warning 10 Europe against de
ciaging war against rs some morning be
fore breakfast. Engineers have surveye'
aud reported. and the Congressional com
u,ittees have sat and reported and 70
about sS0.Oo00o0 We can get things II
such shape that when the enemy's fin
iron-clad heaves in sight she can be saln
ted in proper style
A lot Of u were sitting IN the GePoi
waiting noon ~ Trenton. and the only
man who had 81 newspawer was reading
away for dear life. when stranger enter
ing with two satchels and a tall girl
rhucked the baggage under a seat. waved
the girl 10 another. and walked up to the
man with the newspaper and asked:
Mister, is there anything in the pa
per about our coast deienses
No. sir,7 was the gruf reply
That's singular. Have they given up
the idea DO you think
IL don't know what You mean, sir.
You dont9 Why, they have been
talking for the last year about building
forts 10 protect our coasts Z live down
near the mouth of Tome river. and
rathcrexpect they'll build a b.kfort there
The way things are now England France
or Germany could declare war against us
and land force ar Toms river before
We had our ewes open They'd band
right on my farm, and nobody knows
the damage they'd 10. Don't see any
thing about d fort at Toms river, eh
No, sir
Well. that's singular. lfthi- govern
ment expects me to 90 down behind "a
rock with my old shotgun and keep
Europe from landing at that point its ex-
pecting leetie too much Of one man I'd
tight 20 the death. OF course. but the
chances are that a hall navy could lick
one nigh-sightei man. - the paper
don't say anything '
Didn't tell you no in the first place
say mebbe you don't care "a copper
about coast defen~es," exclaimed the
tWo-,atchcl man as red spot appeared
on either check.
Not a copper. sir,
81 thought 80 from the start You live
out in Michigan OF Indiana OF Illinois.
and are tucked away in some boiler
where the sheriff can't find We, let alone
an invader OF our sacred sile, o. no, YOU.
don't keer
Father" chidcd the t4ll girl, aS she
half rose. but he turned on icr with.
Mary you keep she;, I've allu-
thought 81 Europe declared Har agin u-
we'd have plenty of enemies right AT
home. and here's ca-g To- prove it,
stranger did you fit in the last war:
None o. yom business, sir,
There's his open hand. gentlemen
said the two-sitchel man. 3~ he ilmci go
the crowd when You find man vino
don't keer how soon the hull of Europe
Jumps on this country YOU have found "a
man who'd disup the bones of Washing
ton and sell 'cm 20 "A Junk man for five
dollars"
The man with the newspaper laid it
down, got on hi, feet, and asked the
other if he would step outdoors min
ute.
No. sir, won't" VAS the prompt
reply. " In the iir-t place. I've got these
two sltchels to purtect; in the second
place there's Mary; in the third place,
don't fight gith no man who didn't
fight in the last war In the fust place J
a 'ked We if there was anything in the pa
per about our coast deienses.
And / said no you idiot.
And you said you didn't keeF
Neither do H."
There's his hand agin, gentlemen. "
While I'm lying behind a rock at Toms
river waiting to sellmy life in defense Of
my country. hcra's a feller from Coon
Holler, State ol Indiana, who don't keer
a coppers copper how quick Europe
kivers the site Of New Jersey with the
blood Of our brayest men,
Father chided Mary again.
Lemme alone. Mary You know all
about. carpet rags and darning and house
work, bu, you never heard the rumble OF
war. If Europe Is going to jump into
this country ! want TO know who's GO
ing 20 shoot me in the back a. / face the
enemy"
The man with the newspaper opened
il and sat down with a dangerous glitter
in his ewes, and there WAS a solemn
silence for a few minutes Then the
Toms river man edged overto Mary and
they Sid out doors together. Then b,
beckoned through the open window 10
three or four Of us. and as we went Out
lac surrounded us and whispered:
Gentlemen. its my solemn opinion
that. that ieller isa jannisary from Eu-
rope who has come over here 10 coax
Uncle sam not 10 put up any coast de-
fcnses. want to say right here. and
want you 10 hear 1t and remember it.
that If the enemy land at Toms river il
viii Doe over my dead body. And l wont
hc 10 blame for it"-M. QuAD. 1 G4r d.
irod Fra. pnao
Making d Cabinet.
lady ia Chicago. lifelong friend o
the Lincoln family. tells the following