Fort Worth weekly gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-03-04
MISSING LINK In LABOR.
Monkeys as q Substitute for Strikers in
New Y0rk-A Great Saving
of Labor.
Every Grade of Hum an Being Tried and
Found WantinG-Corporations VIII
Try tho Mont MON Ape.
New York Star,

near Richmond, KY, in place OF seven
negroes, discharged for incompetency.
The monkeys were said TO be more in
f'teliigent than the negroes, to work faster
and better and to be incomparably more
reliable. AS they had no walking dele
gate, smoked no cigars, wore no clothes,
had no religion and no trolics, their labor
cest only ore-fourth as much as the in
frior LABOR CT the c0lored people, and
gas giving great satisfaction to the south
!5srn planter who employed them.
IS That gentleman farmeribelieved that, in
fine industrial monkey, he had discovered
the missing link of the labor problem.
He had made arrangements with pad
rome in Cape Town, Africa, TO import
gang of six stalwart monkeys, instead
of importing an industrial body of Huns,
Poles or Italians. the monkeys will be
put to work pounding hemp, an art in
which they are especially expert, aud
which they learn in four months,
practice, precisely as monkey
which goes to an Italian trainers school
in Mulberry street for TWO terms learns
such polite accomplishments as playing
the violin and dancing, besides acquiring
no small smattering OF military science
and sometimes a little French. At first
The large capitalists preferred TIE Chinese
co0lie to the Irishman; then they pre-
ferred the negro to the Chinese Coolie;
now they prefer the monkey to the ne
gro. 1t was the general opinion in New
York yesterday that in calling in the
monkey the capitalists had solved the in
dustrial problem.
/ at appears from the Times kentucky
Dispatch" said walking delegate ester
| day, chat in recruiting the ranks of
| American labor the capitalist has followed
4 this order of choice: The Chinese coolie,
I the Italian iaZzarOni, the Hun, the Pole,
the gorilla, probably next the automatic
ape"
The Times news from Kentucky Gre
ated profound sensation throughout the
city. At O'Clock yesterday morning a
tall, lank, sallOw man entered ReiCh's
animal store in Chatham street
and said that he would like to get eight
monkeys to 20 down to Mississippi and
pick cotton. The salow man added he
had plantation near Baton Rouge, and
that the negro hands had all struck and
then emigrated in body to Arkansas.
He would like TO get cageful of Intelli-
gent monkeys to go down south and hoe
mis- cotton and gather his crop. Mr..
Reich said he was very sorry, but the
man was 100 late; all the monkeys had
been spoken for by the steamship compa-
MES.
"Seven non-union monkeys working on
3 farm in Kentucky to the detriment OF
the cClOred Knights Of Labor" said a
William street jobber in chimpanzees,
gorillas and miscellaneous apes, sis not
so strange as to be wholly impossible.
Many animals really work. The real but
ter which you see in the country may be
churned by dspple steer that does his
daily stint of labor in the tread
mill, year after year, till at last he drops
down by his familiar churn, and is him
self turned into oieomargarine-in
life and death martyr TO butter! Half
of the real butter turned out in New York
state is made by dogs ard steers, and
nearly all the oleomargarine. Again,
fowls are employed by the Chinese to
catch fish, and it Is no play to them, as to
hound or falcon, pursuing game, but
hard, prosaic, every day work. Dogs
hunt like Indians. What is there about q
monkey that he shouldn't earn his own
living? Why should ne be regarded as
our lazy ancestor, or rather as the idle
second coGsin of mel-the ne'er-do-Well
,l!set our kinsfoik?
"But give the monkey his due-he does
work. lie works every day in every
street in New York. He supports him
Lself. He supports his friend and guide
i the organ grinder. Indeed, he sometimes
supports an entire family. He is always
the senior partner of the musical firm to
which he belongs, and he has as much
earning capacity as small railway. No
one gives money to the organ
grinder-it is to the monkey, the
gay, light-hearted monkey in his
Ch6peau and scarlet coat, full
OF chic, bubblipg over with humor, that
the delighted children give their pennies,
he is the comedian; the hand organ is
simD his orchestra. And not only is he
born comedian, but when he hangs from
the tenth-story window shutter OF tall
fiat, ne is a better acrobat than the Ham
Ions ever dreamed of being. Way
shouldn't ne pound hemp in Kentucky?
have but to say that | am sorry 4
monkey should throw away his talent
pounding hemp in Kentucky.
ain business and finance the monkey is
sn admirable collector and rusty and
reliable cashier. No matter ho~frequent
were defalcations, no monkey ever ran
away with an organ grinders purse.
Honest, industrious, faithful, entertain,
ing, opposed to trades unions, cherishin9
an intense conviction that there ought to
be no walking delegates, the ape IS re-
garded by the Times as the ideal Ameri-
can workman, able to pound hemp in
Kentucky more intelligently and cheapiy
than q negro"
The successful industrial experiment
narrated by the New York Times OF sub
shutting monkeys for negroes in the
south in the industry of pounding hemp,
: prepared the public mind tor the STEP
which the steamship companies yesterday
: took, and 1t was with no surprise thai
the people saw little knots of gorillas,
struggling gangs of chimpanzees, squad:
of awkward Barbara apes and all sorts o.
miscellaneous monkeys stroll toward the
steamship piers and the freight station:
: togs take s,fthe places OF the
> sfrsing ieagshoremen and of theil
: comrsaess the freight handlers. 1
: didn't SURPRISE anybody who had read
the Times. The workmen simply sale
that the Freach Canadians had been sub.
s.ituted for Ae Puritan by the capitals
9 wards of the gaYeramebt il the subsi
ulLeu COlIou nIIicSd'NcM LnStanu' Iuh
the Pole had been substituted for the
, American workman by the wards OF tht
!, government in the subsidized iron mills
, of Cleveland; the Hun had been substi'
: tuted for the PENNSYLVANIA in the Goa
a mines OF his own mountsins; Chinese
worsh,ping wooden god, and laZza
4 roni, eating liver and lights, had beef
! substituted for American workmel
= everywhere. The monkey, according t
e .tAss Times dispatch, worked for one
III,