The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-03-31

U vi cs Sohibb ui CoHtuct Win tue ga
r. post.
II declare II the jar OF currant jell
l brought Caroline doesn't lay smasl
ed all to bits in the yardl John Mo,
Q er heard that was coming, and 20
Q that horrid ugly monster on purpos
e i know he did! I'll go right bacI
a home and never set foot in the ur
grateful wretch's house again"
And she left by next train, fairl
boiling with anger; aud one OF tn
tirst things she did upon her arriva
at home was to make an alteration Il
her will.
The next visitor at the Moser cot
tage was n tax collector, who had Il
varegated experience. lie boldly op
ened the gate, leisurely closed IL afte
him, and started mp the path .nechan
icelly fumbling in his pocket.
"Whew!" he circulated, us the auto
mntic contrivance encountered hi.
vision: "Ill bet that overgrown dog
Is kept for the special benefit OF ia,
collectors Here, Bill Come here
old fellow !" he coaxed. III had n
revolver I'd blow the roof of the saw.
age'looking brute r'
Then he advanced gingerly towards
the dog, using kind words that never
die, and cautiously placed his hand
Oh the animals head.
There was tree near by. and the
tax collector was safely at the top OF
it before the Gcadences OF Mo.er's
dogs G.r-r-r-rr-i-r-r-r-r-r" had
died away. With tho tax collector
time was mon'y, but. all the same he
concluded to remain in the tree and
think about ono thing and another
until the dog retired, or some one
came to his rescue. Five minutes
devoted to vigorous yelling convinc
ed him that Moser cottage was unoc-
cupied.
The sun had sunk behind tho west-
srn bills, bathing, the landscape in a
heid OF purple haze, and tall trees in
an adjacent meadow wero darkly
silhouetted against tho hazy skies,
but the tax collector didn't enjoy the
scenery to any considerable extent
for his position in the tree was be-
coming very uncomfortable, and the
dog was still there. And he was an
noyed.by the animals narrowing and
persistent silence. Finally the tax
collector concluded to venture down
the trce-o"d te'-N> his chances. The
fat was accomplished l. .',if-.- srs,,-
beating Iedrti! and when no. safcSv
reached the gate without the dog
making demonstration, his courage
quickly returned and assumed huge
proportions.
Perhaps the wretched brute Is
asleep he reflected. III must have
revenge And the thought of re
vonge made him feel very brave in
deed. He left the gate open, to per-
init OF hasty escape, and then pro
ceeded to crafty his thirst for re-
venge. THE animal is as quiet ms a
statue, and I'll just give him Wig
orous kick for luck, and then glide
Gus Of the gate like tightening"
And he bestowed the kick. Only
one. 1t was hearty, n one hundred
pound-to>the-square>inch kick, but
it was enough-for the tax collector.
One million pounds in cash would not
have induced him to give Mosers dog
another kick; not with the same foot
anyway. That part Of the program
relating to gliding out of the gate like
lightning, was omitted. But the tax
collector did some gliding neverthe>
less. He glode around on one foot, |
nursing the other with his hands, and |
yelled like thousand throats. He |
thought his toes were telescoped into |
his ankles, but were not. Two OF them
were broken, and two Others badly |
bent, but the doctor who dressed the
injuries said he thought his patient |
could dispense with crutches at about |
two months.
The tax collectors fate should teach |
a man to refrain from attempting to
kick the machinery out of n sleeping
one of the automatic
breed. Ii is u mean advantage to
take OF the unsuspecting animal.
When Jack Moser returned home,
his dog, like the Rhineland witch, was
"still there" showing no signs of hun
ger or fatigue. When Jack saw the
mashed jar OF currant jelly and dOz-
en- tax-demand notes lying about the
yard, he quickly surmised that his
dog had strictly attended to business
during his absence. He contenplates
having his automatic dog patented,
but when he hears from his mother
in-law he will probably change his
mind.
essyasss..s..,s'..