The Press., 1887-10-13
MEASURE FOR MEASURE.


 atiOn to make merry over the ways o women, and to think, apparently, that tho more ridiculous they can make their sisters appear the wiser and more sensible they must prove themselves to be, merely by force of contrast. Woman, the whiskerec sex would have us believe, is illogical, un methodical and can reach results only by haphazard intuition, instead of by the divine Reason with big R, which is mo- nopolized exclusively by man.
 Without entering upon any abstruse speculation as to the relative merits of req son and intuition-that is to say, as to the manner of men and the ways of women one practical illustration of the method, pursued respectively by the sons of Adam and Eve's daughters will be sufficient tC prove to all unprejudiced readers that not not only, as the immortal Sam Patch ob served, some things can be done as well as others, but the same thing can be done il different ways and the rcsutt be as satis factory if reached ill one way as by an other.
 So much for preface ; now for the illus. tration.
 Not long ago Fogg bought new car pet, and thinking to save the expense oi laying it, he told Mrs. Fogg he would dc the work himself.
 Fogg and the carpet arrived home early in the afternoon. Fogg got out of his good clothes and into the old suit that had been feeding the moths through the win, ter. He armed himself with tacks and hammer, with yardstick, two-foot rule 8 carpenters square, ten-foot pole and a tape measure. First he unrolled the car pet, spread it out to cover the floor, walked over it two or three times, pulled it here and twitched it there, puckered his mouth corrugated his forehead, and was half a dozen times on the point of asking Mrs Fogg's advice, and would have done it only he knew it would please her too well.
 "Of course ]" he suddenly exclaimed as one who recognizes the force of new inspiration. Then he took his measuring implements, one after the other, and then altogether, and proceeded to get the exact dimensions of the room, with all it's angles recesses, projections and catti-corners Next he sat down and drew an elaborate diagram of the premises.
 "Now," said he, jumping up briskly. "l can go to work in 8 business-like way" Taking his diagram he proceeded to the scene of action. He measured here anC yardsticked there and tenpoled in every direction. He labored long and well ht 11pPG0 b40 ChEDObS uuF6V0Il0O b00 eu&G1 pounded his nails quite as literally as ths tacks, and uttered language quite shock ing and when he got through-we have Mrs. Fogg's word for it-"that carpet wa all askew." It was, as the same authority expl essed it, ''a sight to behold" I
 Fogg remarked himself that he nevel saw such a carpet in all his life. There wasn't any shape to it. He was all right of course it was all the carpets fault ir cases of this kind.
 Mrs. F. said nothing further than "Well, I wouldn't bother abont itany more tonight, Daniel. You are all tired out and had better go to bed. ]" '-'17 - fE'F s-' Next morning Mrs. Fogg, without stop ping to change her apparel, went to work te see what she could do. She began al the beginning by undoing all that her loro and master had done. Then she took s string, measured across the room and down it's length, soliloquizing meanwhile about ''so much and half finger" "three times and two fingers" "once and a little bit over," with various other equally unintel Iigible remarks.
 Then she got down on her knees, and with hammer and tacks she had that car pet down quicker than scat, and as smooth as her own placid brow, and she got uE from her work with spirit unruffled and clothing unsoiled.
 When Fogg came home and saw the room all put to rights, with the carpet fit ting as though it were painted on the floor, he felt proud of his wife yes, actually proud of her. Of course he didn't say any thing further than to remark that it was easy enough to put down a carpet by day. light anybody could do that.
 But Mrs. Fogg doesn't care. She knows that Fogg thinks she is worth her weight in gold, but that he thinks women, like children, are not to be praised for fear ol spelling them.
 But when anybody tells you that wom an is illogical and unmethodical, mention this little story about putting down car pet.