The Republican journal., 1887-10-20
His Funny Sayings.
TIE LATE HENRY WARD BEECHER AS A HUN

| TIE LATE HENRY WARD BEECIIER AS A HUM
ORIsT.
There is much that might be said about
Beecher as a humorst, but nothing that could
| be said in proof Of his claims would interest
people so much at this time as what he said
himself. To meet this demand Eleanor Kirk
has made selections from his published works
which now appear in book form. The COM
piIcr has evidently done her work carefully
and in the main judiciously, and it is said that
the compilation was practically completed be-
fore Mr.. Beecher was called away. We SUBJ
| join liberal selection of the most charactcris-
tic uttcranccs:
"Rejoicc in the Lord always" will defy
anybody to do it. if he were such God as
| was taught me when | was a boy. [Sermon,
| Christianity in Practice.
The man that has lived for himself has the
| privilege of being his own mourner. [Ser-
mon, Generosity and Liberaity.
If you send IA villain to Albany or Washing
| ton to represent you he does represent you!
| [Sermon, Adherence of Evil
Whether Ireland ever will be quiet depends
upon. how many Irishmen emgrate. They
are like whiskey-not to be taken straight, but
in mixture. [Sermon, The Year Among the
| Nations.
l rejoice in the provision that is made for
more leisure, more vacation, more laughter
and less crying. These rub out the wrinkles
They widen the brain. They make the heart
| pulsate with better blood. Relaxation is a
good thing. [Sermon, Brain Life in America.
1t was like driving a team of runaway horses
| and making love to a lady at the time.
description of Speech in Liverpool, 1868.
The opinion of Solomon is not shared by
men very generally. Conceit Is very much In
repute. People who are conceited, by no
| means think that they are fools-they think
that Solomon was one. [Sermon, Conceit.
\ woman's nature will never be changed
| Men might spin and churn and knit and sew
| and cook. and rock the cradle. for hundred
| generations and not be women. And woman
| will not become man by external occupation.
Gods colors do not wash out. Sex is dyed in
the wool. Sermon, Thanksgiving.
Tommy Taft met the minister at the door
and put out his great, rough hand to shake.
"Ihankee, Doctor, tlankee; very well done.
| Couldn't do it better myself. It'll do good
know it! Feel better myself. I need just
such preachin'-mouldy Old sinner-necd il
scOurin' about once a week. Dreu wicked
to hev such doctrine. and not be no better
amt it, Doctor?' Norwood.
There are those who are instructed in the
necessity of cross bearing. who. that they may
not be without cross. make up little crosses,
| and are careful that they are made not only
small but of light timber. Their crosses are
the hermit's shell, like the old pilgrims >callop
| which was worn on the shoulder Sermon,
| Bearing. but not Overbornc
| An Epscopalian: Yes | am. | am Il Pres
| byteran too; and | an a Methodist, and Bap-
| ti>t and SwedenDorgian. | am everything
that has any good in it.. [Sermon, Contentment
| in All Things.
The Bible is like a telescope. If Il man looks
through his telescope, then he sees worlds be-
yond hut if he looks at his telescope. then he
| does not see anything but that. Sermon. The
| Way Of Coming to Christ.
Shoot and eat my birds: 1t is but step this
side of cannibalism. The next step beyond and
one would banker after Jennie Lind or Miss
| Kellogg. Fruits, Flowers and Farming.
| The Old Greeks said that Il man had two ears
| and one mouth. that he might hear twice and
| speak once. and there is great deal of good
| sense in it, You will find that if YOU will simp-
! ly hold your peace you will pass over nine olt
| OF ten OF the prorocationS OF life. Sermon,
| Pcaccablc Living.
| a man cannot understand any mental process
except so far as he has had experimental par
| ticipation in it. For instance. never think in
! music. beethoven never thought out of it. III
| attempt to whistle new tune, it is always
made up OF scraps of old ones-it is Il hash
! (and so observe it is with most tune writcrs)
! Sermon, Mans Two Natures.
One of the Mathers-Cotton Mather, think
| it Was-hati an almost ridiculous way of spirit
ualizing everything lie saw. When lie was
walking along the street, If he saw tall man.
he would say, MAY he be tall il; grace" II
he saw a short man, he would say. MAY he be
| short In sin.' There was something queer in
giving to every common event spiritual si-
Sestion there was nothing queer. 1t was pre-
| emincntly WISE Lecture Room Talks, "ReaI;-
zation of Christ's Presence
Never gauge the duration of your sleep by
the time any one else sleeps. Some men will
| tell you that John Wesley had only much
| sleep: Hunter, the great physiologist, so much,
and Napoleon so much. But when the Lord
| made you As general thing he did not make
Napoleons. Every man carries within himself
| n lpl luXy xritt f,r l,i
self separately. Lectures on Preaching.
| 1t has been supposed that sprang from
monkeys, and there has been an inquisition to
| see II there has not been Il cauda appendagc
| rubbed OIL Nations have been explored to find
a man who has a tail as Il monkey has. or some
| trace OF one. You are looking in the wrong
| place. Look inside and YOU will find resenl-
blancc to the monkey. the lion, the bear and the
hos-all of them. Human nature is full of the
| animal. Sermon, "War."
Some Justify the obscuritieS of their style,
| saying that it is good practice for men to be
| obliged to dig for the ideas they get. But
submit to you that working on Sundays is not
proper for ordinary people i'll church, and
ideas in your sermons is making them do the
! very work you are paid salary to do for them.
| Lectures on Preaching.
| An earthquake cannot take place in India
that is not felt here morally speaking. Ireland
is as if within our national borders-and the
greater part of it Is. baptist Union, After
| Dinner Speech.
We have in our midst that exceedingly high
mountain to which Satan took Christ and
| showed Him the smiling world beneath. 1t is
the daily newspaper. After Dinner speech,
| Baptist Union.
DO you suppose | study mllsty old books
when | want to preach: No, l study you.
When want to know more about the doctrine
| of depravlty study you, and | have abundant
Illustrations on every side. ISermon, "Sphere
of the Christian Minister"
1t always seemed to me that. however mis-
chievous to us was moths appetite, it must
be very lean and melancholy thing to him to
eat dry cloth. with nothing to drink. growing
fat on rubbish and washing it down with dark
ness. Eyes and Ears.
When | was a boy nothing suited me so well
as to have my father whip me when my clothes
were on. Then | could bear it with the most
equanimity. 1t was when he took me at a,lvan-
tase, in the morning before was dressed, that
did not like whipping. Sermon, "The Con-
cts of Life"
Many of you object to our war because it is
| war. Now, must say that for an EDglshman
to be opposed OH principle to war is a greater
mark of sincerity and frankness than anything
| know of. You have two wars on hand now,
and hardly know the time when you have not
had one. Speech in London.
Look at Herbert Spenccr's God-it is moth
| ing. 1t is exactly what the annual joke of our
Professor Smell in Amherst College, was when
| ne SAID: "Gentiemen. you will perceive this
| invisible ball y do not revile Herbert Spencer;
many of the stones that will shine out by and
by in the completed temple of God will have
| come from his hands, but think his writings
should be taken as the disciples took the wheat,
which they ate, rubbing it in their hands.
| Lectures on Preaching.
Old DIR. Champion Zone of the predecessors
of my fathers pulpit in LitchtieId. Conn.,, in
the latter part of his ministry thought he had
! sinned away the day of grace and that he was
going to hell, and he never showed himself SO
much a Christian in the disposition which
he manifested at the time. If it was Gods
will that he should go there he was willing to
90. He did not know what he should do in
hell, till one day he solved the question salts
factoriIy in his own mind, and said, Il will
open prayer meeting there!'' He thought it
would afford him some balm and consolation
l do not think that man ever got there. TSer-
mon. 'Sin Against the Holy Ghost" (Fords,
| Howard & Hubert, publishers.)
The Temperance Women of Vermont.