The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-02-10
WHAT MADE HIM INSANE.
His Opinion OF Lawyers Has UnGer.
gone n Change.

strong contempt for lawyers thought
their long cross.examinations were
brainless dialogues for no purpose.
Lawyer johnson had me rs a witness
in wood case. In my direct testimony
had sworn truthfully that John Hall
had cut ten cords of wood in three
days Then he sharpened his pencil and
commenced examining me.
"Now, Mr.. Perkins" he began, show
much wood do you say was cut by Mr..
Hallp"
Just ten cords, sir" | answered
boldly ~ measured it,"
That's your impressonP"
Eyes, SIR"
"Well, we don't want impressions.
sir. What we want is facts before this
jury-f-a-c-t-s, sir, facts!"
1.-The witness will please state facts
hereafter" said the Judge, while the
crimson came to my face.
Nov, sir, continued 10 hnson. point
ing his finger at me, will you swear
that it was more than nine cordsP"
"Yes, sir. 1t was ten cords-just-"
There never mind, interrupted John
son. Now, how much less than twelve
cords were there?"
1.-TWO cords, sir"
"How do you know there were just
two cords less sir? Did OH measure
those two cords, sir? asked johnson
savagely.
mo. sir, /"
"There, that will do! You did not
measure it. just rs | expected. All
guess work. Now, didn't you swear
moment ago that you measured this
woodp'
YES, sir, but"
"Stop, sir! The jury will notice this
discrepancy"
Now, sir, continued johnson, slow
~, as he pointed his finger almost down
my throat. "Now, sir, on your oath,
will you swear that there were not ten
cords and half?"
Yes. SIR" | answered meekly.
We'll now, Mr. Perkins, | demand
a straight answer-a truthful answer,
sir"
FIFTEEN c-c-cords," | answered,
hesitatingly.
you swear itp''
"I--I-d-d-do.
"Now. continued Johnson. as ho
smiled satir.cally, do you know the
penalty OF perjury sirP"
ayes, sir, think"
"On your oath, on your solemn oath.
with no evasion, are you willing to
periure yourself by solemnly swearing
that there were more than nine cords OF
wood?"
Eyes, sir, -"
AHA! Yes, sir You are willing to
perjure yourself, then? Just as |
thought Cunning to the judge; you soc,
your honor, that this witness is prevari-
eating. He is not willing to swear
that there were more than nine cords
of wood. 1t is infamous, gentlemen OF
the jury, such testimony as this. The
jury nodded ascent and smiled sarcas-
tically at me.
Now" said Johnson. II will ask
this perjured witness just one more
question. will ask you, sir--do you
know do you realize sir, what IN aw-
ful-a-w-f-u-l thing it is to tell lie?" I
"Yes. sir" / said. my voice tremb-
ling.
"And knowing this, you swear on
your solemn oath that there were about
nine cords of woodP"
mo, sir, don't do anything Of"
Hold on, sir! How do YOU know
there were just nine cords?"
Il don'tknow any such thing, sir!
/"
"Aha! you don't know, ehcnP Just
as expected. And yet you swore you
did know. Swore you measured 1t.
Infamous! Gentlemen of the jury what
shall we do with this perjurerP"
"But l."
mot a word. sir-hushl This jury
shall not be insulted by perjurer. ~
"Call the next witnessr'
This is why am keeping books in a
lunatic assylum-BgGaio Express.
- -
They Sought the Shade.
Anumber of capitalists sent a man