Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-11-09

hot, and L laid aside nv stole and hood
TOT whlle; Tor l was as proud and
careful or their untarnished rustling
glory as a mother of her first born; and
L stood at the vestry door chatting TO
my vicar and two of my fellow curates,
who were making their mystical toilet
within On a sudden 1 heard very
sweet girls voice saying, 'Oh, do
wish l could make out this window
there should be some one to explain
It, and looking down the church saw
one stout elderly lady and two slim
young ones examining window of
Ananias and Sapphira. looked again
at the girls, and oh, loyl L recognized
two fair Americans who had appeared
in Oxford during my last term there
and had been the objects OF my passion
ate and heart stricken devotion. Never
| had forgotten them. Caiolery and
intrigue had once brought me into the
same room with them, but before L
could find an opportunity for an intro
duction they were gone, and 1 saw
item no more. Now was my time.
Straight l tripped down the steps of
/ the chancel and presented myself before
/ them like a knight eIrant, as thought,
coming to deliver a distressed maiden
You would like to know what the
! subject of the window is?' l asked
blandly. sit is very old glass and very
/ quaint; allow me 10 explain it," and L
sailed fluently on. "Dear mel'' cried
| the elderly lady presently, when 1 came
! to a pause, show interestingl What
] u very happy idea to have the church
J shown in this way, and what very nice
/ choristers there are here; so intelligent
and we'll behavedp' 1 thought this
rather irrelevant and was puzzled, but
all praise of the church just then was
| honey To me, and / said complacently,
Yes, the choir il very good, We take
great pains. and great attention Is paid
/ TO discipline" Why the young ladies
sheuld have Uttered, or the old lady
have looked SD kIl-abToad, L could
\ not guess; but IS people were BEGINNING
/ to come into church in considerable
| numbers l drew toward the chancel
steps, discoursing as l went. and then.
as we reached the chancel gate, L
paused, intending, before We parted. TO
/ make some allusIon 10 have met them
/ in Oxford The elderly lady, however,
mistook me. She stopped ut the loot
| of the steps, where her head was still
slightly above mine. and bringing her
hand out OF her pocket, where sne had
| been fumbIing, slipped q half crown
/ into my palm and said, "there. my lit
| tie man, that will do; you've got II all
very nicely; now must just give you
| one kiss, my DEAR" and with that L,
| YES l. was kissed publicly on my own
/ chancel steps, under my own loou
| screen, before the eyes OF my own pas
| tor and fock- ''Oh, yes! dear little
/ fellow" cried the young ladies', "he Is
4 - pert and cunning" and they too
D =. tTgrl
/ with cheeks and mouth agape, the half
crown still In my hand, watching them
a they complacentIy retreated down
| he aisle Then, when they hal disap-
| peared, reused by the litter or ladies'
s::a the guffaws OF my fellow clergy at
INV bl-- -tife-sits.yrstrssI rsIs s.' .fdi sasisdi
-arplIces of the vestEy.
1t was useless to remain N that par
/ Ish. The conduct OF the congregation
| next Sunday, when 1 stepped forth "a
read the lesson, proved that to demon
| stration. OF course such a story had
spread like wiidlire. The church was
crammed, and when in reading abou:
David, who WAS ''Tuddy and wIthal OF
a beautiful countenance ! came tC
the words, "Look not on his cOunte
nance OF on the height OF his stature. y
there arose such sti1ed laughter as
sounded like the wind among dry
leaves. / stopped short, consumed with
shame and modification, unable to set
the book for tears, and then, with al
astuteness 1 did not know L possessed
iudiciously tainted away and was borne
out like a child IN the arms Of the
basso blacksmith.
Ii was a skillful stroke and nigh,
have retrieved me, but l could no
brook to remain there longer. BY the
assistance of the archdeacon and the
consent of the bishop, who tired hard
not to laugh while he gave II, l wa;
transferred to another county But
though no like blow fell on me there.
saw the attempt was useless. Did &c
to school to catechiss or exhort the
boys, my presence was the slgnal ior
disorder. As matter OF course my
authority was disregarded. Girls chat
ted under my nose, boys extracted from
dirty breeches pockets pegtops and
tolfee before my very eyes, and even
looked to me for encouragement, and II
the master was forced 70 come TO the
rescue and cane a lad, the ingenious
youth would appeal to me, with an all
that said as plain as words, Come, you
know what alley-tors are? Why don't
YOU put "A stop to this grown up tyr
amy? Have you no fellow feellngsT'
Al baptisms mothers refused TO let me
ofIiciate upon the brawling infant,
vowing "they weren't agoin' TO let that
theer careless boy play no tricks with
that blessed baby" My mlnistrations
provoked hilarity at funerals, and once
an irate virago, with whom l was ex-
postulatIng on the wickedness OF heI
ways, soused me II, ok and crop, clerical
hat and all. into her soapsuds and
washtub.
With much pain dropped my holy
calling. Marriage and literary LIE
absorbed some years. lstrove-heaven
| knows how earnestly-to correct the
vice of nv appearance, but the more
advanced in life the more absurd mat
ters grew. Occasionally glimpses OF
hone only proved delusive and plunged
me back again into a darker despair.
/ II l have tried one patent inialllble
whisker producer ! have tried twenty.
I have been n mine of wealth to bar
/ hers. Fluids that would make an elm
plank shaggy simply make my cheeks
| look chapped. Many time uaFe
zone to rest daubed with pomade, only
| 10 find in the morning that II had ned
/ from my chin IN the night TO seek
more hopeful ground on the pillow.
Once a slight downy efilorescence made
its appearance under my jaw. and for
days / was almost delirious with JOY,
and walked the streets with my chin
i'm the air to show my manly beard
AIasI like Jonah's gourd, IL wlthered IN
one night, as 1t grew. Suddenly IL
dropped on and lett my iace stiIi aoI iooss1 ~
! like IA
But though looked IS y time had
stood still with me, In fact 1t has made
as good haste as with other folks. My
wife is half as tall again as 1. and twice
as heavy. When l give her my arm
she puts her fingers into my srmpls, &
and people are ceasng 10 tsAe net S agi
-S-- and think ] am her grand. g-
my mo..>- 18th q hopeful young
family, a boy and bony, row-.
virI. VINO looks already over the cLo"n -
=. - ho,l api has To StOop UOWh W