The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1887-05-13


After all. there Il no reason for sup
posing that old King CoIe was related
Ia any way 70 Alexander the Crate. --
The RACK Diamond.
II never knew what chokc-dnmp was
BEFORE commented the miner who had
taken drink which went the wrong
way.-11 Black Diamond
A new list II household hints con-
tains this: salt IN the whi;swash will
make il stick better" Investigating
committees should bear this In nina. -
Lire.
One Of our lady correspondents. who
has just begun housekeeping, wishes US
"a inform her whether or not minced
ham comes from ground hoe. -Nesc
HGsn Ners.
..Well. but II you cant bear her,
whatever made you proposes" well.
we had danced three dances. and l
couldn't think Of anything else % say"
Londoa Pinch.
We lay Il down rs an axiom that the
opinions Of an editor who uses A.
calibre revolver for paper weight
carry conviction with them -- Buriing-
toH Free Press.
They are now making barrels with
only one stave ia them We saw =
stovepipe hat that had only one .'stave
in.- but il made il look Ike an accor-
dion aaril'e Brcre.
..Undressed kid is the favorite ma
terial for slippers" says fashion
journal. It may be added that slippers
are not favoriic material with the un-
dressed kid,--Liring Church.
A barge loaded with coal is said to
have been lately sunk or the English
coast for the sake Of the insurance.
Here was some one actually guilty Of .
coal scut,le.-7he Black Diamond.
prisoner. do you admit that you
stole this purse Of diamondsr' Yes.
your Honor; but do not believe was
then in my right mind I know now
they were only imitation. "--Nes0 York
Gruphic-
First eitizen-.Well. guess We shah
have pretty early spring this year"
Second citizen-..As for me, I'm sure
Of it. Ny wife began her spring bon
net operations two weeks ago-"-Nesc
H1rcn NetCS.
Belmont, Ca. boasts Of . woman
s.who goes out and chops wood with
her husband" We suppose the hus-
band must be hatchet-faced. and has ut
some time been drummer--NtU
H1ren Nc,rs.
Johnson-..How are you. old man?-
Thompson-rm sick Indeed. Well.
if it wasn't for that you'd feel just n
good a. any one Why, you haven't
so much 10 complain Of, after ALL
Piltsturg Dispatch
Wife (reading the paper)-I see that
money is quoted as cheap. Why don't
you ret sumes Observation-Disclosures it
requires security, my dear, and security
Is scarce with an upward tendency
Nes0 York Sun.
Mrs. Grundy says s.boys now to .
great extent take the places Of men in
New York society" Mrs. Grundy
must not complain, since boys were
created for just this very thing.-SL
Aibans Messenger.
The new linen cuffs are very close
about the wrists" The old ones, how
ever, still linger around the ears. Just
as they did in days Of yore. Or, -
the unlettered barbarian might remark.
in the auricular days. Bardette-
Two retired United States Admirals
live in London--Edward Simpson and
r NJ. Stenebel. They evidently want
70 live in a country where they COCA
sionally can refresh themselves by the
sight Of war vessel -Bost0n Post.
Clara-O. John! what lovely low
ersl They look as II they had just
been gathered. Why. there = little
dew upon them! John (somewhat en-
barrassed) due upon them. Not
cent Clara, ! assure you; not cent
Life.
Madame" said the tramp. I'm
hungry enough 70 eat raw dog"
sWell,- she responded. kindly. suiting
the action to the word. Ill whistle
some up for YOU" The tramp left,
taking his appetite with him.
York Sun.
Countryman. Gin the gallery Of the
Stock Exchange) How much does il
cost, mister, to do business down there?
Mister-The seats. l think. are worth
about $4,000. Countryman fctching
his breath Gosh. don't wonder
most ~ 'em stsss.d up.--LJt.
The man who resigned his position
two months ago because he ..couldn't
live on the salary he was receiving" has
been idle ever since. Although he is
occasionally seen in the streets with his
hands in pockets, the inference u that
he Is dead. -Norrisfoicn Herald
Il see that some newspaper men
have formed club and called Il the
Homeless Club" remarked Robinson.
ssDoes that mean that they have no
homesP" sNo," replied Lighthead,
ssit only means that they win Be homo
less than ever now. "--New York San.
II the theory il true that Eve was
created because Adam Wns lonely and
wanted some 0no % talk - how df0n0.