New Ulm weekly review., 1887-08-17
PHI j ]! / I |. NO | ! {: ~ /.

y
r. Kansas City Times.
70 a man up "a tree it seems az if the
Battle OF the Boyne had been fought
often enouggh. e lPlsi5utzelptiG Times.
a half crown shark is said to te-
good e;ating. The full grown is admib
ted to be a good. eater. ~ Neinphis Ava-
tG7sche.
No man can realize how easy it is to
pass the contribution box around and
forget to chip in until he tries it..
#LouisUitle Democrat.
Ii all the accounts are correct, there
are no unkissed kisses in New York
since Gen. Sherman moved there
Baltimore Af1ser5cuae.
The young man who can go into a
pawnshop without a quickenlng Of the
pulse and heightening Of color has
been there before. - Puck.
1t wouldn't do for the prohibitionists
to preach their fayorite doctrine in the
present. state Of Kansas City's drinking
water. Kansas City T5naes.
Some of those who bought broncho
ponies at auction here recently are
now wondering what such animals are
built for.--St. 4AJboas Messenger.
The man who usually goes around at
this season telling about the hot wealth
er that he remembers s.way back is
badly left this year. Chicago Times.
Queen Kapiolani will hurry home as
rapidly as possible. She evidently
wants to know who's been there since
she's been gone. - Washington Critic. !.
The intellectual atmosphere furnish.
ed to Chicago this week by eight thous-
and school teachers will do much to
heutralize the odor of pork. Indian
1po1is Journal
If you wish to know just how little
patience you have left try to raise a
refractory car-window to please a
fidgety woman on a hot day. - lMarthn's s
Vineyard Herald.
Gov. Martin, of Kansas, is right
Any town can do without saloons. He
who thinks otherwise should read the
history Of the jug in Georgia. Louis
ui1le CoMriey-Jour7aal.
Now that a Chinaman has been ar
rested as a tramp, there is no possible
surprise for the public except to hear
that an Apache Indian has started a
laundry. - Baltimore Anaerscuaa.
An innocent Cheyenne man wrote to
a Denver sport the other day and ask
ed the question: How can man get
rich at poker2" The sport promptly
replied: Don't poke. = ''-Deaaoer News.
A crank in Savannah, Mo-, shot at
the woman who refused him, but the
ball was stopped by her hustle, made
Df old newspapers, and she was unin-
jured. Now is the time to subscribe
Ni,azeaa Gazette.
Bismarck's rule of force has no resi-.
At no time has his diplomacy been in
deeper water than now. To turn and
shake the life out of France as terrier
does rat, is no longer possible. - Gin
cl'anGti Commercial
Why a young man will leave his
home on the farm, where he has plenty
and is his own master, and come to the
city to slave in dry goods store at $50
\ month, is one of the unsolved prob
lens. - Savannah News.
Mrs. Frank Leslie is too pretty and
smart an American to gain any thing by
having her name sandwiched between
the defunct titles of a saw-horse
marquis from France and rakish
prince from Russia. Boston Globe.
1t is said the custom of kissing on
the forehead is losing in popularity,
even in the old countries. Aha! 1t be-
gins to dawn upon our struggling
intellect that the bang was created for
a purpose. Bimghazsto7a Republican.
Jake Sharp like Boss Tweed, want
ed to know what .'they were going to
do about it. " He has, it is believed,
been fully enlightened on that point.
Four years in the penitentiary is what
they are going to do about it. - Chicago
Times.
The heaviness Of homemade bread
has often been animadverted on; but
the Philadelphia baker who puts chro-
mate of lead in his buns seems to have
the advantage of the home baker in the
matter Of heaviness. Detroit Free
Press.
Building operations always have a
delighted audience. It pleases the av-
erage person to see the mortar slip into
Gut Cni HAS VI Guc IOChs tllko UutIOEf luIU
a cats ear, especially when someone
else fondles the trowel. Minneapolis
Journal.
The city paymaster who pays labor
ers small bills for their work pays them
in a saloon, and the boys get '.a good
start before they get out; and those
that go out without standing treat
are looked upon as mean fellows.
NeaU York Mail.
Editor Cutting is definitely in the
lecture field charging SO cents for tell
| ing Americans how little Mexicans re-
spect them. May our ears be bored
with a hot awl before we squander four
bits to hear how somebody dislikes us.
---Alta california.
The summer excursion yacht with q
| drunken skipper now stands on an even
footing with the railroad bridge, the
car stove, and the kerosene can. II
promises to do what it can to counter:
I