The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1887-04-08

A Crank Whose Sole business Is to Make
the Man OF the shears Weary of Life.


A Crank Whose sole business IL to Make
the Man OF the shears Weary of Life.
No one except those who have worked
more or less about newspaper Office.
says the Cincinnati Enquirer, can fully
appreciate the exchange fiend.
He is to tho exchange editor just
about what the spring poet is to the
managing editor or the man with q
denial is 10 the city editor-nothing
short of holy terror.
Aud you never know when he Is COM
ing, nor what shape he will assume
when he does come. He is liable to APP
pear as perfect gentleman. and the
editors in the room will all smile at
once and see which one can make the
most favorable impression, thinking he
might be q theatrical manager with his
pockets full Of passes. or press agent of
a circus. when to the utter disgust of
the poor devils present he will show
himself in his true colors by opening
his remarks with:
''Do you exchange with The Jimto,on
CroWer?'
The exchange editor tumbles to the
racket, and pitches into his work with
unusual vim. but the other fellows punch
him and call his attention to the request
of the stranger. Then he looks up and
says:
''What can | do for you?''
'Do you exchange with The Jimtown
CroUer?'
"Yes. You will find it in that pile.
Help yourself"
THANK you. used to reside in Jim
town. Haven't heard from there since
/ left some three months ago"
Quiet has been restored. The politi-
on big leader, and the dramatic critic
proceeds. 10 ventilate his opinions on
paper, when the exchange fiend opens
fire.
'Why. here's The Albany Bladder,
/ haven't seen it for years. Used to live
there, and was Il regular subscriber.
Wonder if Jim Scott is the editor yetP"
Don't know" snaps the c. G. Take
it along"
"Thank you ever so much. Scott was
red,hot writer. Got licked n number
of times for things he wrote. He could
write better than most of them, but
wasn't worth hell-room in fight. Well.
bless me, if here amt The Jackson
Bugte! Thought it had gone up the
flue long ago. It's ten years since l
saw copy of it. Bill Pullthrough
edited it then. Why, he's editor yet
See here"
''All right; take it along"
Don't you need it?''
mo; / don't want it,"
Thank YOU. I'm ever so much OBJ
liged to you. 1t does one so much good
to come across these old friends. You
nevet met Bill Pullthroughp"
Not rs know Of"
"Well, you ought to know him, as he
is certainly character-a regular gen.
Jus. Always hard up and borrowing
from everybody Struck me for dol
lar once. Well, blame me, if here amt
The Rosewood Rooster. DO YOU ex-
change with itp"
.'rm sorry to say we do.'
at used to be great paper when
Joe Skies edited it. But after he sold it
it kind of ran down. Skies was as good
on the fight as he was at writing. He
came near killing Il man once who call
ed on him for retraction. Once he
was going to kill me. Wonder how The
Rooster is making it now?"
'Don't know. Take it along"
''Oh, thank you ever so much. But
you haven't read it yet, have youp"
Never mind. Take any you want;
they are no use to me. Glad TO get rid
of them"
Thank you. will appreciate them
so much, and so will my wife, and my
daughter will just go wild over them.
She cuts out the poetry and pastes it in
scrap-book. She's got two filled al
ready, and the third pretty near She
can write poetry, too, and some of it is
real cute"
Then after selecting some twenty or
thirty of the leading exchanges, he bows
out with:
..Well, good day. I'm ever so much
obliged to you for these. If you don't
mind I'll come up again and get The
Bugler and The Rooster. You can
just lay them aside for me when you are.
through with them, and I'll be ever so
much obliged to you. Maybe, If l think
of it, I'll bring along some of my daugh.
ter's poetry and get your opinion of it;
you may want to print some of 1t. Good
day"
Good day."
Then the political editor drops back
into his char and says: "H-ll! The
dramatic man sticks the point of his
pen in his leg to see If he is still alive,
while the exchange editor clips out a
two-column article on "A Sure Cure for
Cranks" and rehead-lines it Society
Scandals" so as to be sure that every
body will read it.