The Washington critic., 1887-09-10
THE REAL LINCOLN.
Humorous Side of the Great Presi-
dents Character.
HIS PLAINNEss OF SPEECH.
Some Rare and Racy Anecdotes of
His Life at Washington.

that genuine humor Is "a plaster that heals |
many q wound,n and certainly no man ever
had larger stock OF that healing balm or
knew better how to use 1t. Wit, with that |
illustrlous man, was a jewel whose mirth-
moving flashes he could no more repress
than the diamond can extingulsh It's own
brlliancy. In no sense was he vain Of his
superb equipment as wit and story-teller,
and no man was reader than he to ac-
knowledge the force Of ofshakspeare's famous
lines: q
"a jests prosperity lies in tho car
OF him that hears IL; never In the tongue
OF him that makes it."
His stories were generally told with we'll
defined purpose-to cheer the dropping
spirits OF fffUbd; to tighten the weight OF
his own melancholy, a melancholy that was
constitutional, and which was like ghostly
burden all his days; to clinch an argument,
to expose fallacy, or disarn an antagonist
He believed with the great Ulysses OF old
that there is naught $50 tedious as a twice
told tale;" and during my long and intimate
acquaintance with Mr.. Lincoln | seldom
heard him relate story the second time.
The most trining circumstance, or even a
word, was enough to remind him OF story
whose aptness no one could fail to see.
The following will serve to illustrate this
phase OF his character.
PLAfS-SPOKEN MAN
He cared little about high flown words,
fine phrases, or merely ornamental diction,
and yet, for one wholly without scholastic
training, he was master Of O style which
was remarkable for purity, terseness, vlgor
and force. As Antenor said OF the Grecian
king: "He spoke no more than Just the
thing he thought and that thought he
clothed In the simplest garb often sacrifice
ing the elegant and poetic for the homely
and prosaic In the structure OF his SEN
tences.
In one of his messages to Congress he
used the term sugar coated.n When the
Public Printer, Hon. John d. Defrees, that
officer was terribly shocked and offended.
lie was an accomplished scholar, O man OF
fastidous taste, but devoted friend Of the
President, with whom he was on terms OF
great intimacy. 1t would never do to leave
the forbidden term In the message; 1t must
be expuDged; otherwise 1t would forever re-
main a ruinous blot on the fair fame OF the
President.
In great distress and modification the
good Defrees hurried away to the White
House, where he told Mr.. Lincoln plainly
that "sugar-coated' was not In good taste;
"You ought to remember, Mr.. Presldent,n
said he, "that message to the Congress OF
the United States is quite different thing
from speech before a mass-meeting In
Illinois; that such messages become a part
OF the history Of the country, and they
should be written with scrupulous care aud
propriety. Such an expression In State
paper is undlgnlded, and II were you l
would alter the structure Of the whole SEN
tence"
Mr.. Lincoln laughed and then said with
comical show Of gravity, "John, that term
expresses precisely my Idea, and am not
going to change 1t. 'sugsr-coated' must
stand
''KIcKING THE KIvER OFF,"
"This reminds me-" continued Mr.. Lin
coin, ''of story told about j. Fennimore
Cooper, the distinguished novelist" and he
proceeded, In o style Of inimltable drolery,
to relate the following: "while in London,
sometime during the reign of George Nv,
and while General Jackson was President
Of the United States, Mr.. Cooper was fre
quently subjected to annoyance and humil-
iation by the ribala jests and vulgar crti-
ciems employed by the nobility, especially
call the coarse provincialisms habitual with
the American people, Mr.. Cooper was
peculiarly sensitive to this sort of criticism.
He was ss ready to defend the people of
his nationality against charges Of impro.
priety In their speech as he WAS to maintain
the dignity, honor, virtue aud intelligeuc Q
OF his abused countrymen. He had suffered l
the taunts and ieers Of milOrds until their
insolence became unbearabe.
son one occasion, when Mr.. Cooper was
present, young eprig OF nobility was re-
lating bis experience In America. He
spoke with lordly unction Of the shocking
want Of culture, which he had observed,
'ye knaw, among our people. He said
that while In the United States, Just after
the election OF General jackson, he was a
visitor at the Hermitage, where the new
President introduced him to Mrs Jackson.
That lady was suffering with severe cold,
which caused her to cough necessarily.
her misfortune, and expressed in the most
approved style Of gallantry his hope for her
speedy recovery, when she replied: The
Gineral kicked the kiver of me last night,
and that's what's the matter. 1t won't last
long, This caused laugh oil round; In
fact, 1t brought down the house.
,"Mr. Cooper saw his opportunity. Gen.
tlemen,' said he, 'there ia difference,
grant, between our Republican simplicity
and the forms OF politeness that prevail III
this kingdom. 1t is one of the rights In
herent in our Republicanism to kick the
blankets OF the conjugal bed. Mothel
jackson may have been unfortunate 10
choosing a word not pleasing to your cul.
tured ears; but you will observe, gentle
men, that 1t was her own husband who
kicked the kiver off her. l have nsticed
and you will see by reading the libel for {
divorce filed by His Majesty, your king
against his wife, Queen Caroline, that he
charges, In language not at all courtly, thai
the kiver was kicked off his royal wife by
some other fellow
"No, John" said Mr.. Lincoln, "sugar
coated is the proper 'kiver,' and dom
propose to have 1t kicked out Of my mes
sage.n
Mr.. Defrees WAS obliged to yield and th,
message was printed without amendment
TRULY GREAT MAN.
One day at critical stage OF the war
MI Lincoln sat In his office IN deep medl
tation. Being suddenly aroused, he said tc
agentleman whose presence ho had not un
til that moment observed, "Do you know
that think General - is philosopher
He has proved himself really great man
This war has not produced anothe
like him. He has grappled witt
and mastered that ancient and wise al
monitloD, know thyself;' he has formed al
intimate acquaintance with himself-know
as well for what he Is fitted aud untitled a
any man living. Without doubt he ia re
markatle man-the most remarkable maj
in high military command since this wa
beg1I;n gwin :. . NJ p,o.,,.n, - o.,,., ;,
friend, "that you are now so highly pleaset
with General ---i Has your mind no
undergone q changer"
"Because," replied Mr.. Lincoln, with
merry twinkle Of the eye, "greatly to IN
relief, and to the interests of the country, h
has resigned. And now hope some othe
dress parade commaIders VIII study th
good old admonition, know thyself,' an
follow his example,"
LINCOLN AND CHARLES l.
On the 80 OF February, 1865, during th
so-called Peace Conference at Hampto
Roads between Mr.. Lincoln and Mr.. Sen
ard on the one side and the MessTs, Ste
phens, Campbell and Hunter on the othel
Mr.. Hunter remarked that the recognItto