The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-13
BRIGHT BITS.
AT Delmonico's, the day after Blue Friday.
Got any champagne on icef'
ttNac OH


AT Delmonco's, the day after Blue Friday.
Got any champagne on iceF'
Yes sir
We'll, that's good place for it, Bring me a
glass of beer. "-TOlCn Topics.
LITTLE DIcK-I don't want to do that.
Omaha Mamma-But you must
'Whyg'
Because say So
whats the reason / have to mind you?
amt your husband. Omaha World.
STATELY Old Gentleman newly arrived at the
summer hotel)-Will you please tell me how l
can get down stairs, my little man?
Rude Boy-Well, yer can roll down; yer can
jump down; yer can slide down the baniSter, or
yer can take the elevator.
Stately Old Gentleman falls down in a fit
To,on Topics.
Mrs. FosHAY Ito prospective nursery maid
You are fond of children. of course?
Applicant-Fond of EN-? | should say I was
ma am If hadn't been wouldn't a nursed
my sisters nine young ones that was down with
scarlet fever till every blessed one of them died
ma Fam; and buried the last of em week come
Friday.-Tid-B Bits.
SARDoNICUs-I should think there would be
more enlightenment in summer than in winter
Ukerdek-Aad why:
Sardonicus The weather is so much nicer in
Canada
Ukerdek Yes, but the jais are a great deal
more uncomfortable in warm weather than in
cool.-DetrOit Free Press.
CANT somebody stop that runaway, " yelled
a stranger ia Detroit excitedly as a cab came
tearing down the street at breakneck speed
driver and passenger both apparently frantic
with terror.
That amt no runaway" said an old resident,
careessly; ITS an umpire getting away from
the base ball ground The boys must have got
beat. '--Chtcdg0 Tribune
CARRIE-Oh, Frank! Tillie has been telling
me about composite photographs, How are
they made%
,res,, 40 A.
OF any number of persons on thin transparent
paper, and then place one upon another, right
eye upon right eye, left eye upon left and mouth
CarTie-But, Frank, can't the thin paper be
dispensed with?
1t could and was.-Boston Transcript
You go upon the board of trade
Where margin merchants meet
And take some little options
On January wheat;
You watch a little ticker,
Till the hands swing round the ring,
Then you find your little Doodle
Has gone a-glimmering
That's business.
You go into faro bank
And buy stack of chips,
And watch the cards come from the bog
Which the dealer deity fiips;
When your head is dull and aching,
AT the breaking of the day,
You see that tickle fortune
Has gone the other way
That's gambling
Cincinnati Telegram.
THERE'S something about lawyer that gives
him away all the time. You can't mistake
lawyer even for a book agent. The ingenious
and unsophisticated cowboy knows him, and
the hardy miner. who may have spent his life
under ground, will recognize him even in the
dark of the lower levels. 4 well-known leg of
the law, mean limb of the law--the policemen
are the arms and the lawyers the legs of the
law-went up into Modoc county. He had with
him patent india rubber bed, which he filed
full of air when he wanted TO and made it com
Portable to lie on. This was an entirely new
tangled thing to- the cowboys. and they inspected
II with great curiosity. The lawyer explained
the whole process to them, how he inflated it.
and all aboutit. One of the cowboys listened
thoughtfully, and then he said: Well, it does
seem kind O natural for a lawyer to sleep on
wind. San Francisco Chronicle.