Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-10
BILL NlE TO HEN NlE.
HOW TO MAKE A COUNTRY PAPER
ACTUALLY RED HOT.
An Editorial on Mark Antony"-A
Proud Father-A Question In AriihIne-
tic-The PeCuliarities of Buncombe
County Butter-Corn Dodger.
ASHENu.IE. 4 Y. G.

ASHFVILLE. Y. c.
My DEAR SON-I wish yuu would please
change the address of my paper To this
place. where your mother and are now
staying. got The Retina all right last
week, and see that you are going 10 en-
large it, SO | have sold my hay in order 10
prepare for the event.
What is your idea for enlargiug the
paper before the town enlargess OF
course | am no journalist. but have OfteE
thought that il had been doomed to
issue "A paper like The Retina, and then
answer at the bar of Judgment for il, |
would not get power press till the town
got a good dark blue hook and ladder
company and postofiice.
like your editorial ON Mark Antony
first rate can imagine how excited the
people of your town were when they saw
The Retina saturday morning and read
what your estimate of Mark was.
wish You would incidentally pick up a
few Others of those old people and weigh
them Tha: Is one OF the iuNuries Of run
ming paper Yourself You can speak right
out and walk all over these people.
would like Ia hear what your honest con-
victions are III regard Ia Diogenes. 1t
would be worth almost what | have put
into your paper ~ a silent partner.
PROUp OLD PAPA.
You can have no idea, Henry, how il
swe!ls me- mp with pride and lofty disdain
10 know that while | am sleeping calmly
under my roof tree. as heard "A man call
il once, you are showing up those old
frauds like Julius Caesar and Hamlet and
Portcullis and Andronicus and Mrs Poti-
phar and other people who have become
historical.
That was my idea when sent you away
30 that female seminary, or whatever IL
WAS. where you went to get educated. |
wanted you 10 come ont with n whole lot
of thoughts that showed right on their
face that they We're expensive. | wanted
You TO be able 10 tell down at the store how
much A. B and c would each have 10
grind off circular grindstone four feet
three and one-half inches in diameter,
with square hole i'll the center three and
one-fourth inches each way, provided \
pays une-siXiA of the price VI the stone, Is
one half, and { the balance, with the
understanding that c shall use ) per cent.
more than his share, provided lie will turn
the grindstone | wanted you To be able
10 talk with foreigners in their native
tongue the darkest night that ever blew.
desired that you might become a man
who could walk mp to an Italian rs he
plays his organ voluntary beneath your
easement and tell him in his own musical
alarm clock language what you think VI
him.
So Il pleases me to know that You are
printing paper now, 81 you can show of
TO advantage what have invested in you
BUNCoMDE COUNTY BUTTER.
After while | want 10 write a little ar
ticie for your paper, not So much for the
purpose of saying anything. but in order
TO show the contrast between the polished
work Of well educated, smart young
man and the crude efforts of a plain man
who is entirely untitled for everything eX-
cept paternal purposes.
We are having good time here in the
south, enjoying the climate and making
experiments with the butter which is pro-
duced here. Butter made ia the fast
nesses of the hills i'll BunCombe county is
mostly of a pale pearl gray, with Il pin
stripe in il uf ultranlarine. This does not
look badly. and il sets off II hoccake first
rate. This butter is not eaten by the
people who manufacture il. They are
poor sometimes, and have 10 eat most any
thing that will sustain life. but they draw
the line at this butter.
went out into the brush last week To
buy load Of woui and took tea with "A
gentleman who lives in an open face cot
tage on the other side of the mountains
| then discovered that these people do not
eat their own butter. | did not notice any
butter, but they had gravy ~ substitute
for it. Corn dodger in and Of itself will
not melt in the mouth. 81 looked around
for a means of lubricatiug my own. At
that time the warm hearted and huspita-
hle host made the following remark:
stranger, you mustn't be squeamish.
Just waller Yer dorger in the dope. That :
the way We do"
then proceeded 10 waller.-BilI Nye in
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