The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-23
BILL NYE,s ADVICE.
wholesome Admonitions to Ono Contctu
plating n Career OF Crims.

HEBER, Ark. Bill Nyc, Ashevillc, NJ G.: DE-
,,,n,.,.' 0uy,SEi.,Cnn you tell me II there is go
opening where YOU are for a live, go-ahead ira
robber, fourteen hands high and OF good ne,
Erees Tho industry has been greatly overdo
b,aSSr When train obsing Is let out TO the 10
might not pay In your immediate vicinity, rs
I'm told that YOU are ut, q health resort, and
thsre "se noticed 70 Iced tha, where good health runs ri
; maps you know - locality where IL would pay
own eighty acres Of the finest dornicks you ev,
w type What ahu wan. m you to tel me IN boldiact
III stick to the dornicks until the cows retul
70 their domicilc. The chutte mortgage ,
TCurs truly n'rd to raise Gq h. WSnnS WgSsSf
DO not murmur or repine over you
hard, macadamzed lot, Mr.. White, q
seek to become suddenly wealthy
robbing trains.
| If You are determined to 90 into tb
train robbing industry, however, do no
come here. This is no place for u trai
robber. You would not wish to rob a
invalid on his way here for his hcaltl
and just barely alive; and / am sur
you would not care to rob him on hi
way back, when he is strong and well
but penniless.
That is not the worst drawback abou
train robbing here, however. It is tb
running time Of the trains that inter
fercs with your trade. A band of trair
robbers from Missouri came here five
years ago. hoping to establish brancl
OF their great co-operatve train wreck.
ing and robbing emporium but they
were not successful.
1t is said that they established them.
selves up near Round Knob, armed to
| the teeth and awaited the arrival of the
train.
Time passed on.
AT first they were not very hungry
| Tnd did not think it advisable to devour
any of their number, but ut last starva-
ton overpowered good resolutions and
reason; so one after another of the
younger and weaker of the band yielded
to the frenzicd and famine-stricken frag-
ment of the once buoyant and self-rcli-
ant company.
At last one night, just as the moon
clumb the picturesque step-ladder of
stars and looked down upon the wild
and beautiful pictu1e of glorificd noun
tain and somber valley, us the last col
ored lotercr had returned from the
distant revival, softly humming to HIM
self. while pair of Plymouth rocks
sleepily peered from the pockets of his
army overcoat into the glorious night.
as the ever-regretful pine of the Old
North State gave back to the night wind
hopeless whisper in answer to
its light caress, the last of the lusty rob-
bers yielded to long exposure, famine
and the sharp, remorseless tooth of time.
His latest fluttering breath went out
upon the bosom of the mountain zephyr
as shrill whistle sounded from beyond
the "trussel," and in less than two
hours, almost before his body had be-
come cold and rigid in death, the train
with muffled rumble and grumble and
roar, with Il mad shrek and hot box,
passed him in its resistless flight.
So you see, Mr.. White, that this is no
place to rob trains. 1t is too uncertain.
This is II good place for health, but it
is no place to rob trains. | can tell YOU
where there are some good, robust
chickens, or ut least where they were
an hour ago; but until the road here has
more respect for its timetable. l would
not advise train-robber in whom felt
an interest to come here.
know that ut times your dornick
farm will look bleak and desolate to
you. and you will madly yearn for
more soil, but it is better than the
enervating toll of sitting night after
night in cold culvert, wearinga set of
false whiskers, size too large for YOU,
and waiting for train that may never
come.
That is not all, friend White. Train
robbing is not now what it was fifteen
or twenty years ago. More people go
''heeled" now than formerly. And
those who do not go heeled have no
money.
In riding through Nebraska some
years ago, l was awakened one night
while in an upper berth by train rob-
Der who was IL total stranger to me.
He did not move in our set His weapon
so, owing to his excitement,
hat 1 caught hold of it to keep il
steady, and also in such position that
< it happened to get itself discharged
ne contents would go through medical
student who occupied the lower berth.
lbe train robber seemed to think I |
to steal his nice new revolver,
Ht,ich he had no doubt secured by pro-
,uring two fresh subscribers fora child's
PAPER, and so he resisted. We struggled
here for half an hour. presume, be.
ore succeeded in robbing him.
A band Of robbers. it is said, tried to
'ob train bound north from Florida
hree years ago, and though they met
With some resistance that was about all
hey did meet with.
One robber got package of flea
powder, II set of false teeth and II chest
tut bell.
Another secured white vest, a buff
alo Overcoat and Il small wet alligator.
1e did not know that he had secured
he alligator until two hours afterward,
vhen II look of pain came over his face.
md one of his companions removed
lin from the small alligator which, it
GEMS, had become very much attached
9 the robber by means of the brow of
rs pants.
CThe mans pants l mean.)
Another got diary for '73, an audo-