The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-02-10
THE MERRY SIDEI

The March winds Il axe the strongest we 4ther
reports.
The true Christian profession is written
across mans life.
Women in Texas are crying for bread. The
men are crying for whisky.
The blasted Canucks should be taught that
stealing our fish is "scaly" business.
-.+
81 can become righteously indignant, but n OF
mad p' sanctified man. So can bulldog.
The reporter who wrote about "The Trunk
Tragedy" probably saw drayman unloading
trunks.
The little boy did not like TO say he had been
spanked, SO he said he "had been tobogganing
on shingle."
The stealing of our fish by the Canucks is con-
sidered very "bass'' act. 1t should be resented
| by the "sword."
It's all right, friends to ''point" people to
Christ. But its better yet if we get there, and
beckon them.
The man who says his composure was never
disturbed, evidently never sat by man who
had been working in a lanyard.
Local Option was defeated at Logan, Ohio.
Prohibitionists should not hope much from
fighting the devil on his native heath.
Pulitzer seems to think Cleveland would not
run well in New York. He'll get all the Demo-
Gratis, have any of the Mugwumps died?
There is one thing the young man who goes
to Birmingham should be careful to do take
money enough along to come back on.
New York is striving for a law to execute
criminals by electricity. That's it! Make
murderer to feel that the lightning will strike
him.
To build up your own character, insures ad-
vancement, and good results. To tear down
your neighbor's, leaves your own worse than
ever.
Justice Bradley of the U. S. Supreme Court
decided that stealing two million dollars was
not embezzlement. No, we'd call it acting the
hog.
| A visitor in the school room read, on the
wall-"Our Schools the Hone of Our Country"
then looked around to see the teacher shak-
ing bly, by the top of the head.
great daily heads report ga Pathetic
Suicide" What we want is a reign of merry
suicides Toe old, pathetic, lonely way is
played out.
James Hitchcock, of Michigan, impris-
oned thirty-two ears on false charge of MUIR
der. If that isn't enough TO make a man lose
his temper, what is.
Patent boiler-plate papers will soon be in
great demand. The ladies will want them for
summer fire boards. The portraits make
such nice medley pictures.
Some fellow in Cincinnati, after shooting at
Jimmy Fitzgerald, sent him word that he is
bound 10 kill him. But Jimmy knew that be-
fore.
q Murphy has wrought wonderful change in
public sentiment in Cincinnati. Why, they
suspended a policeman there last week for
| drunkenness.
The Watchman says Powell once umpired
ball-game at Waverly and decided everything
in favor of his own club. Well, there wasn't
anything to decide in favor of Waverly.
The WaverIy Watchman says in the same
issue that Powell Will get the nomination, and
get left in seeking it. Has Emmitt made an
| other "Discovery?"
| The Republicans are convinced that the pre-
siding officer of the Indiana Senate is as big a
seeundrel as the Democrats think Bob Ken
nedy is.
A st. Louis paper suggests that the greatest
loss to Cincinnati from Hoadly and Johnson
moving to New York, is-because johnson sis
a good poker-p player"
The reporters represent Gov. Foraker as not
desiring a denomination, but wanting to return
to his law practice. Well, the Gov. has done
well, and we should permit him to go back to
private life.
| The Oleomargsrne question in Atlanta is as
varied the whisky question. The chemists
are unable to tell the difference between Oleo-
margarine and butter
The man who contends that "there is no
God" is generally, after all, too conceited to
admit that he could have been created by any
thing short of God
Spies and Miss Van Zant are said to have
been married "by proxy" Spies brother acting
as bridegroom. We can believe it of the girl
but didn't think Spies was that big fool.
The Democrat who thought after the election,
that he would make an excellent Government
official, now congratulates himself that he
makes pretty good private citizen.
Frank James, the former bandit, is now sales
man in the ladies' department Of st. Louis
Shoe Store. Franks kind of a conscience is
just suited to the average clerks shoe talk.
! Some Cincinnati hummer called Judge Fitz-
gerald of Cincnnati to his door and fired
shot at him. This wss only return fire per-
| haps. The Judge had doubtless "fired" the fell
low into the Workhouse.
-
| lonely quail was heard piping in this
| neghborhood a few days ago. The local sports
men ought to have caught the whistle and bot
tied il, as that is about all that is left them in
| this country.
Fanny Davenport got hotel clerk at Mem
phis to keep thirty-five thousand dollars
worth of jewelry for her. He did it. He has
| it YET.
So! The Canucks making war prepara-
tions, are they? Well, there are Irish boys
enough here to run over there and whip them,
and get back home without scratch
-
The Courier-Journal fails to see tile beauty of
a Civil-Service which puts in eleven Republi-
cans to one Democrat" Why, il ism the eleven
Republicans that the Administration will have
to worry with-it's the one Democrat.
A Colorado man shot and killed another be-
cause he owed two dollars. If that practice be-
comes general there will be mighty little work
for the next census-taker.
-
Mrs. Langtry says "when Ada Brown Potter
was introduced to the Prince of Wales, her
bosom heaved with excitement until the beads
flew off her dress.' Must wear their dress
waists higher than they used to.
-
JEFF. DaYis has been presented with a cane
made from a piece of the tree under which he
was captured. When Jef.wants to dream about
Justice, he Just hangs this cane up and hangs
his neclx-tie over ii.
Boynton goes 10 the trouble to prove that
Bickham, of the Dayton Journal, was drunk at
Gartield's funeral. Well, what's the matter,
General? Is anybody denying it?