The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1887-08-06

CREMATION has no terrors for a man
whose mother-in-laW has caught him
kissing the servant girl Fall River
Advance.
Two young Ohio farmers have
fought duel about a girl named
Briny. Their love for Briny must
have been deep Philadelphia News.
THE fall OF 43O aerolites in the
United States III sixty years is record.
ed, and not one OF these stars was
walking on railroad ties. either.-lTld
Bits.
BRIAREUs WAS She only mythologi-
cal character who could be perfectly
happy while driving out with his girl.
He had 100 hands Burlington Free
Press.
IT Is estimated that there Is one
COW to every four persons in this
country. The young lady in the red
shaw always gets her share Phila-
delphia Cell.
AN exchange says the interstate
law has no control over the move
ments OF crafts on rivers. This il
cheering; let us ali purchase crafts at
once Boston Globe.
A FORM OF expression somewhat OBJ
sOlete Is that wlich likens a Young
artist to a pan OF dough, namely:
"Ihe rapidly rising young singer"
etc Boston Traveller.
FIRST student of medicine-I say.
Fritz, did you see those boys stick
out their tongues at us2 Second
student-Ies, ami it does me proud.
They evidently take Us for tull h4dged
doctors From the German.
The Rev. Mr.. Sucker, ID. D.-So YOU
don't think / practice what | preach,
deacon? Deacon Kicker-Well, con
sidering that you have been preach
ing on the subject OF resignation for
the last fOrty-nine yeats, ! don't
quite think you do lid Bits.
A YOUHGTsER sat watching his
mother while she "pitted" cherries
She inadvertently passed one with
out removing the stone. Hopeful I'M
mediately picked it up with the re
mark: "Here's one you didn't uu-
button, mamma" Chicago Trib
une.
A LITTLE 3-year.old girl OF Bloom
field \. j., was reprOved for disobedi-
ence. On repeating the offense uhe
father SAID to the h-Cle offender: 80
nave a strong inclination TO spRuE
you" Immediately the ansve1
came back: you can't, papa, fOr
I'm slttin' on it p Babyhood.
81 SEE" said d friend to the editor
ola DAKOTA daily, "thaU you cellthee
papers you are printing now the sec
Ond editiOn-how DC they differ from
the ones you were running off half an
hour ago." We have stopped and
oiled TIE press" and the Journalist
reached Tor the lever again. Dakota
Bel.
APPLICANT -''Are you IN need Of q
collector? / have good references
here rom Blank & Son, my late en-
pIoyers" Manager-"Why did you
leav them ?" Applcant.-"WeH, yon
see their customers got so they AL
knew me ana could dodge me-, which
necessitated change. - Detroit
Free Press.
81 HEAR that Mr.. and Mrs
have separated" said a Miss Gossip
to friend. Yes; it's great pity"
81 think she's foolish. Pm sure
don't know single woman who
knows him who does not think he's a
most charming man" Eyes, dear
That's why they have separated."-
Washington Critic.
SOME Mexicans were caught rObbing
a freight car on q sidingo OF the Mexican
Central a few days ago and the station
agent telegraph to headquarters as
how to proceed The reply Yves:
prosecute vigorously" He replied
to this with: Cant do it in this case,
as they have been executed but will
do so III the next"
A BUSINESS view Of it. (Chinese Sun
day SchOol.) Teacher (reading)-
"And Elijah the prophet
Do you know what prophet
means ?" Scholar-"Yes, me know,
velly we'll" Teacher (surprised)-
"Do you? Well, what is it?"
Scholar-"Me buy sing fl cent, sell
fifteen cent, profit ten cent"
ARCHTECT-"Have you any special
features you want incorporated IN
the designs for your mansion ?" Mr..
Moneybags-"H'm! not perticklar.
Only | must have two halls / hear
so much about nowadays" Archi-
tect (iuquiringly)-"The two halls? ?"
Mr.. Money bags-"Yes; the long hall
and the short hall, doncher know?
ARIZONA road agent-Hands up. in
this stage coach Lively now On
PERMISSION OF few moments, during
which considerable business is tran
acted.) Sarcastic passenger-You've
got about everything but our boots.
Hadn't you better 90 through us
again? Road AGENT never take up
two collections from the same crowd.
| am no anti.poVerty society.
CHICAGO Miss Ito father Papa,
did Mr., can't think of name-any-
way, did 81 tall young man with blue
eyes and side whiskers call on you to-
night? Father don't think he did
Why do you ask me2 Chicago Miss
Nothing, only | have promised to
marry him, and l didn't know but
what he asked for me. Let me see?
Ryan, Ryman, Randall-isn't it
strange | can't remember his name?
But ! am almost sure it begins with
an r and, papa, he's the incest little
man you ever saw. lust know you'll !
Ike him. Father-Wouldn't be sur
priscd. When you get acquainted |
with him, introduce me- Arkansas |
Traveller.
IL Don't Want Relief. But Cure
is the exclamation of thousands suffering /
from catarrh. To all such we say: CataTrh /,
can be cured by Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. /
1t has been done in thousands of cases; why !
Ill