The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1887-02-25
BILL NYe.
The Bolony Retina "-Advice TO His
Son on How to Run = Newspaper.

ooh On now 20 run newspaper
MY DEAR SoN-Your first letter written
since you started your paper at New Bolony
was received yesterday. We felt glad to hear
that you were located in q business for your
self, and it made me feel proud to get copy
of the paper which you call The Retina. I
do not know why you call it The Retina.
Stiil The Bolony Retina sounds kind Of full
some and didactic.
Retina, l always supposed, was kind Of Q
medical term, and would be Just fool enough
il started paper to call it The Sciatica or.
The Polypus at Work. It's wonderful how
people run to new names these days, and .
plain man with common school education
has to 60 cropping along through the world
the best he can. presume that, with your
thorough and fiorid education, such q word =
Retina don't stump you for q minute, but
with me it's different. ! am rough, hard
working man and always been busy all my
life. One Of the neighbors asked me night
before last why hadn't joined the Knights
of Labor, and / told him that I'd always bean
too busy.
It's a fact, too. I've always been so con-
stantly employed that couldn't belong to
labor organization and give it the attentionfe
ought to have.
like the tone of your editorial piece, on
the inside of your paper, which is entitled
@Salutatory." / like it where it goes on 30 ny
as follows:
"We shall strive, i'm season and out of season.
to advocate the resources and liabilities Il
New Bolony as a health resort and county
seat. Our voice will ever be heard In clarion
tones, putting its shoulder to the wheel e
progress and tramping on oppression with
both feet.
ave shall send The Retina to every quartsr
of the globe, so that New Bolony, with 10
wealth Of picturesque valley, hill and dale,
together with its new court house and health
giving atmosphere, will he known Of where
ever the English language Is spoke.
sit is true that the editor of this paper has
Just emerged from college, and is still young;
but he has had some experience In writing
for a college paper, and he knows what she
needs and the wants Of the people are. He q
aware that the class of readers who will peruse
The Retina will not be 50 refined or cultivated,
perhaps, as his college readers were; but be
will try to make himself understood, and we
think we will be successful.
ave shall constantly improve The Rstina,
as growing business and patronage may war
rant so that in q few years our readers win
look back on this first copy with ill-concealsd
mirth. We are already figuring on q dark
blue job press and rubber door mat for the
Office, bearing the legend Welcome in large
gothic extended letters.
ave shall espouse the cause of no party Or
faction for the present, preferring to remain
neutral for the time being, hopping on to the
erroneous, ever and anon, however, as cir
cumstances may arise which will seem to can
on us for a word Of reproof, admonition or
encouragement. We shall not make any
boasts or FIJI the air with bombast at this
time, but when hydra headed wrong emergss
from its hole the casual observer will see NJ
knock seventeen distinct varieties Of tar out
of said hydra headed wrong, and those who
carefully observe our course while conduct
ing The Retina will notice that there are no
flies on it.
ave have quite number of our best essays
and orations prepared while we were attsnd-
ing school and college, which will appear
from time to time in these columns. They are
carefully and extensively written, and en-
tirely cover the ground. Among these We
may name the following titles:
"The American Indian-His Glorious Past and
Opaque Future.
1.-THE Care and Discipline of Children from an
bipartisan Standpoint.
@The Disagreeable Results Of Crime-Neces-
sity for Exercise Among the La
boring Glasses.
"Demosthenes as an Off Hand Speaker.
@How to Reclaim Giddy Parents Where q
Your Parent Tonight
Criticisms on the Present Imperfect Plan Of
Salvation.
GDuty of Wives-What Constitutes a Good
Wife
George Washington and the Misery he En-
tailed Upon the Youth Of America
by Telling the Truth and Az
terward Becoming the
Father of His
Country
@An these essays are well written, and
would be highly ornamental TO any first class
magazine in the land, but we are here to give
satisfaction n our new Geld, and the best w
have ever written IL none too good for the
people of New Bolony We aim to please.
with regard 20 prohibition, ws shall b
aoutspoken at all times. As for oursslf We
can use prohibition or we can let it alone
For the present we prefer to touch not, taste
not, handle not the uncle1n thing. We favor
high license with low retail prices. This
gradually busts up the dealer and finally
wipes this curse from the face of the earth
with the bosom OF statutory wrath. Besoms
of statutory wrath carefully printed at this
Office on short notice.
AIN closing we will state that The Retins
starts out with liberal patronage and has
come to stay. We use this last term With the
permission of the man who made it.
ave expect our new navy blue jobber in Q
few weeks, and little boys in town who wish
to see how q newspaper Is made, and who
would like to contribute thumb or two out
Of their little collection, may come and
monkey with the new press at any time. We
will return their thumbs to them at the end
of the week"
like the tone Of this piece as general
thing, though am sorry to hear you allude
to your liberal patronage and by the same
mail get O request for more funds. will
send you what money / can spare, hoping
suppose you win be running for congress
the next thing, and then you will forget all
about your old father, and borrow money Of
people who haven't felt near the interest iE
you that have.
Send the paper for one year and charge
me with the subscription price You may
also put piece In your paper stating as
follows:
FOR SALE.
Owing to iii health win sell at my resi-
TO government survey, one crushed raspberry
colored cow, aged years. She is q good
milkster, and Is not afraid of the cars-or
anything else. She Is a cow of undaunted
courage and gives milk frequently. To man
who does not fear death In any form she
would be q great boon. She is very much
attached to her homo at present, by means Of
trace chain, but she win be sold to any one
who will agree to treat her right. She g one
fourth shorthorn and three-fourths hyena.
Purchaser need not be identified. will also
throw In double barrel shotgun which goes
with her. In May she generally goes away
somewhere fora week or two and returns
with tall, red calf, with long, wabbly legs,
Her name Is Rose, and would prefer to sell
her to nonresident
You may keep this notice in your paper till
you sell the cow. We are all pretty well, and
hope your paper win be self-sustaihing.
II I had four or five boys all engaged In
running newspapers that had liberal patron
age don't believe I'd have money enough to
pay my poll tax But must now close by
saying so-long, as the Teller says Your
father.-Bm Nye In Chicago News
All Right, De Soto.
One day last week an old man with a bald
head, and obviously with drink or two
slowed away in the place where drink does
Al n