Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-05-27
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

One who patronizes another town for a
marriage license
OF course, you should never Judge a
woman by the clothes she wears, but most
women do their level best to make you
A hot journal recently set fire to a
Western passenger car. The editor was
simply resenting the implication of a CON
temporary that he was an expert manipu-
lator of truth.
Miss Emma Abbott says she is the only
prma donna in the world who sings pub
licly seven nights a week, and she can
sing three notes higher than any other ex
cepting Sembrich. The unassuIning little
thing
An exchange thinks that "milk bars"
might be popular if the milk was slightly
''shot" How would it do to try weaving
the topper, first with stick in the milk,
then little thing like toothpick, then
shaving and finally just something to
pine after
A poet speaks of "the pastoral cock"
We suppose he refers to the rooster. The
pastoral cock is we'll enough for show, but
it is the lay members of the roost that do
the business.
1t is said that Queen Victoria has offer
ed Frogmore to Prince Henry and
! Princess Beatrice for their permanent
home Frogmore is damp, miasmatic
hole, and will be sure to kill anybody who
locates there.
| Prince Lii is a member of the Chinese
Grand Council. In this country it would
be considered unlucky for such a man to
hold office.
The archdeacon of Winchester, who is
very little man, while showing some la
dies over the grand old cathedral recently,
with the object of demonstrating the
monstrous size of the pipes of the organ,
which is in course of repair, crept into one
which lay on the floor He then stuck fast
in the pipe. AS he had the key of the
cathedral in his pocket and had locked
the door, the situation was somewhat
critical. At length, however the work
men engaged in repairing the organ came
back from dinner and eXtricated the ven
cradle gentleman from his predicament.
The Springfield Union has been criti-
cally examining some jubilee pctu res of
crown does not fit Now if Queen Vic
spring crown, if it cost S..
George Alfred Townsend's new country
home in the mountains of Virginia has
been completed just in time. He is going
to Europe TO spend all summer.
An exchange says that "the English
people are not less stirred than ourselves
in the matter of preserving their COM
mons" Yes. but they wouldn't care
shuck, if their House of Lords went by
the board.
ooh mamma what is that dreadful
noise on the piazza ?"
Nothing, my child. Your father will
persist in trying to get into the hammock
when he wants to smoke and you know
how clumsy he is"
A scientist has discovered that the mos
quto's mission is to purify stagnant wa
ter. Why in the name of common sense
doesn't he keep away from people. then,
and attend to business?
"Women are not backsliders, as men
are" says writer. No, but they would
be, If it wasn't for their bustles
School teacher, illustrating the differ
ences between plants and animals A.:
plants are not susceptible of attachment
to man, as animals are.
Small boy, at foot of class: "Bow
about burrs, teacher ?''
Hello, Smith Did you know Bostons
most illustrious citizen was in town ?"
mo Is he going to play with the
boys S'
"Play the idea of DR.. Oliver Wendell
Holmes"
"Oh, pshaw l thought you meant
Kelly"
In the O'Brien fracas in Toronto a news
paper correspondent was knocked sense
less by the mob What made him feel
worse was that his paper got left.
About the only beverage that hasn't
been prohibited in the South is the cotton
gin.
NJ. Goblet proves to have been a tumb-
| ler.-BOStOn Post
Make small pox fashionable and society
would go miles to get it.-NCW Orleans
| Picdyltnc.
He-"Of course you know the "Heir of
Radcliffe ~ Shell m not sure. Would
you mind just humming it ?"-Punch.
The sea serpent was last heard from at
Lake Champlain The interstate COM
merce bill does not seem to have inter
fered with his pass, and it is probable that
his serpentship will continue to sustain
his name and fame as the ubiquitous
traveller of America. TRANSCRIPT.
Fruit growers in the strawberry belt of
Illinois now furnish free chewing gum to
the girls who pick from the vines the
luscious ingredient of short cake, the OBJ
ject being to preserve the berries for flu
ture consumption.-Chtc NelcS
Young man Ito sexton at church door
Isn't the sermon nearly done
SeXton-Ahont an hour yet. He is only
on his LASTLY"
to get through his Lastly ?"
SeNton-No but there's the zone word
more and am DONE" and the Finally"
and the ''ln conclusion" to come yet
Don't get impatient, young man. Your
girl won't spoil PUCK.