The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
An Error for the Humoris,.
pnck.

Puck.
 There is sort of humorist whose manuscript turns up in this office with she utmost regularity, and goes out of 1t with the utmost regularity. This is the man with the joke about the young lover and the father with a large boot and a larger hull-dog. This merry maker is spending a large portion of his substance in post age-stampS, and common humanity demands some interference on our part. We cannot let him go down to the poor house without some attempt to steer him toward the right course.
 Bull-dogsg Bootsg Gentle Idiot there arc no hull-dogs, there arc no boots for the young man who comes account ing now days, He must he a worthless character, indeed, if he be not welcome in the house ot many daughters
 Dear idiot, the path ef the marry ing young man is strcwu with roses. lie Is not a man to bo snubbed and slightcd he is man to bc welcomed with great icy, and with timhrels, and with the sound ot the Saokbut, The mother bows down when she meets him, and the father goes unto the front gate to bid him enter, A feast is provided for him. and great enter tainmcnt and iree lunch is spread on both sides of the path that leads unto the house door,
 Know you not, Sweet Idiot, that it costs dollar or two to keep daugh- ter in decorative idlcncss? If horse may bc said to eat his head oil, what shall we say of a young woman whoNt heaviest burden is her winter honnety
 Nay, Fair Idiot, there is nc one in that young woman's family who has aught to say against the young man who deigns to visit her with matri- monial intent Well does that young man know that his father in~ law to- be will never support him. The main question with him is slightly differ cnt He has to make sure that he will not have to support his fathcr-in- law
 For. bc it known to you. Q, Idiot. it k the young men who arc making money; it k the old men who are pay ing interest on mortgages. The time has gone by when man had to mnrry at twenty for fear of being called an ''ola bach" at thirty The man of forty i, charming young fellow, if he is unmarried. Everybody courts him. Every body asks him to dinner. He has to learn to spar, so to speak, to keep otl' eligible daughters. Bull dogs? Boots? Why, the mans cars are deaf with listening to the praises of Jane Matilda and Maud Louise.
 If you must write of such matters, Wild Idiot, write of the shining truth. Write down the fact that Charles Augustus. be he ever so homcly, ever SD mean and small, ever 70 vicious and ill., bred k made at home in the family circle. because il may come to pass that hc will look with favorable eyes upon harlottc Augusta, and wed her, in the end. if hc k given sufficient en- enlargement.
 Write of this, and your tales will be printed, Down oblivion, with the dullcst and most sickening thud known to our nineteenth century civilization, have gone your merry tests about booted and bnll-doggcd parents. for the truth was not in them. Arouse yourself. Trumpet forth to the world the fact that a young man who can support a wife k at present selling nI about two hundred per cent. prem ium-and strike popular chord. Bulldogs? Boots? Write of young men who would give good money if dnnghtcrs--or, even, full oi one daugh- fer as easily as they could get in