The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1887-03-18
THE DAILY NEWS
AN OBNOXIOUS BEAU.
BILL NvE ADVISES A YOUNG LADY
WHAT TO DO.
2s Ssggssts . Judscious Use Of =
Ysangss Brother-ssd Music Recon-
Dsaaed-Avoid Laughing NJ His Funny
0t0sies-Othsv Plans.

BOSTON, Feb. q. 1>&s-
IN. Nrs-I have enjoyed all your writings ID
NJ Globe ever 20 much, and noticing that yos
haso given great deal OF advice free. thought
III pcentbly you would tell me the best method
q gseting rid Of an impertinent young man.
Whoos room Is much preferable TO his company.
Hoping that do not intrtde on your valuable
tiuns. Yours truly,
You do not say why you wish to get rid
of the young man, nor do you state what
- tho matter with him; whether he IS q
poor eonversationalist or too fluent in that
hne; whether the first two joints Of his
Angsf and thumb are yellow with cignr-
cite stains, or what his leading character
ist1cs are Possibly he has fatty degener-
alton OF the thinker.
However, you say he is an impudent
young man, and 1 infer that you have
gone through the preliminaries Of gentle
scorn and such things as that. Now,
what shall we do to make him fully I'M
derstand that you do not want him to re-
main,
Perhaps you have such q thing as .
younger brother about the house. Ii 80,
bring him in and let him toy with the
young man . few hours. You can excuse
yourself while you ostensibly put on your
other dress, and IL you delay long enough
you can cause the young man a great deal
Of intense suffering. You can take the
right kind Of younger brother, with in
fanlmatory hair and white eyes and warts
on his thumbs and season cracks in the
backs Of his hands, and if you properly
.'sick' the boy ON his prey and fasten the
door securely you can come back in an
hour and do anything you want to with
that young man. i know this to lie true,
for have been the young man myself.
have also been the boy.
OTHER INDIGNITIEs-
! have known young mar who in
tested house that way TO be eradicated
by means of very sad music. They do not
die IN the house.
Another plan would be TO avoid laugh
ing at his funny anecdotes. Wait till he
gets through with his anecdote and looks
mp In your eyes for twinkle of merri-
ment. That is the time to refrain from
twinkling. Wait till he gets to the nub
Of the joke, as 10 were, and pricks mp his
ears to listen for q wild burst of siivery
laughter. That il the time to hang on to
your silvery laughter. 1t will give him
panied expression of countenance, and
you win see him soon after look at his
watch. When he completes his story,
suddenly wake up and ask him il that is
all. Few men can endure this for over
two weeks.
OF course there are other and more
radical methods of accomplishing the re-
suit you wish, but these are the ones more
common In the best society. ! naturally
supposed thas you wanted the methods
used I'm the best society, or You would
have gone elsewhere instead of coming
10 me-
should you finally wish to be more Sc
we're, however, you can invite young
girl To be- present during the young mans
stay. would suggest that this young
girl be a fluent talker on the subject Of
clothes. II you both keep the talk going
pretty well while the young man looks at
the album or gazes with q fixed stare
through n stereoscope that hasn't any pic
lures in il, you will soon have his pachy-
dermie pelr on the fence.
BARE POSSIBILITY
But there is bare possibility that this
young man il in love with YOU, and would
think ii humorous even il you were to- i'll!
him full of fine shot. In that case dc
not know what you ought TO do. Love is
a strange missive. 1t goes where il is
not sent and it refuses to go where it is
sent.
II you could get him away by himself,
it would be well enough, perhaps, to ask
him IL he loves you. That's the way I
would do. The quicker n matter of that
kind is disposed of the better. Ask him
in . manly way If such is the case, and IL
he really does love you, and has reason to
believe that you were paying attention to
him all this time, you cannot in honor de-
sert him now.
Do not be discouraged. Let me know
how you get on with the suggestions
have made above and am confident We
will succeed.
tall hat with stuffed bluejay in it to the
theatre and sitting in the seat just in
front Of Hmm Try II IL you have not done !
10 already, and ii you do not get rid Of |