The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-09-17
ABOUT OFFICE BOYS.
The Only Way to Have Good One Is to
Hire a New One Every Week.

The Only Way to Have Good One Is to
Hire a New One Every Week.
The office-boy question has almost as
many sides to it as the servant-girl
question. Yet it is with diffidence that
offer my share in the discussion.
There are certain characteristics of the
Office boy, however, that ought to be
brought out; and as special instances
are more valuable, or at any rate more
interesting than general statements,
let me relate something about two
individual boys: One of these was
named Joe. He was a genius in his
way, but his way was not my way His
talents were of mechanical order He
ought to have been made apprentice to
a fashionable plumber or a first-class
burglar. 1t was one of his duties to
tend door. His seat was separated
from the outer door by a small ante
room. He was very active boy, but
he would work hard for three hours to
save himself two or three trips across
the room. The door closed with n
catch, and he rugged wire to that,
passed it through staples around the
three sides of the anteroom, and so
into the room that he sat in.
When knock came at the door, Joe,
sitting triumphant on his stool, would
pull the string, and presto! the door
was mysteriously opened. This ar
rangement pleased him a great deal
more than it did me. One day | heard
peculiar granting noise in the ante
room. l called Joe, but he did not
come. l went to the door to see what
was the matter, and there l found him
hanging by the knees from the ceiling,
head downward. He had knocked the
cane seat out of stool, screwed pull
ley into beam overhead, and rugged
up some ropes in such way that when
he stuck his knees through the seat of
the stool and pulled with all his might
on the ropes, he was elevated, knees
first, toward the ceiling. Then he tied the
end of the rope fast to the stool. After
doing this, he found that he could
neither unite nor get his legs out, so he
had to stay there. These are only two
out of many instances that might be
cited.
Joe was of very little use to me, ana
he covered my rooms with such a lot of
nails, screws, pulleys, wires, strings
and other things of the sort that hard
ly knew the place. He lad to 60.
Ned was different sort of boy. He
was older than Joe, and he did so well
the first week that l thought | had
found treasure. | therefore willing
lv advanced him another weeks salary.
He did not come on Monday. Tuesday
morning he said an aunt of his had
died, and he was obliged to attend the
funeral. The excuse was accepted. l
did not know then that Ned had fifteen
aunts, all liable to die at any time; a
sick father and mother, and seven little
brothers and sisters who were constant
ly meeting with accidents.
Neither did [ know that his borrow
ing habit was inveterate. When he
left me l figured up, and found that l
had paid him, in four months, about
twenty dollars more than his salary,
mostly in loans of twenty-five to fifty
cents. The list might be extended al
most indefinitely. One boy is an artist
and covers all available walls with
drawings. Another is anxious to i'm
prove his handwriting, and practices
on the backs of your law papers and
pamphlets, or uses up your best letter
paper and envelopes. Almost all office
boys are good-for week. After
that they get careless, Indifferent, and
sometimes decidedly 'uppish." The
only way to keep good office boys is to
get them fresh once week. John W.
PenroSe, IN Epoch.