Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-12-17


should b Guarded Against.
From the London Queen.
It Is dimcult to say where they begin; Il Il I'm
possible to say where they win end. 'SThe begin
ming Of strife Ia like the letting out OF WATER
says the wise king; and In no case u this truer
than In the case OF family QuarrelA The little
breach, no larger at first than . childs finger
could stop, but through which comes the con-
unual DROPPING, not attended TO In time, viii
widen and stretch, till ebay there IL waking up
10 ma the angry waters surging around, sweep
ing in and overwhelming all the sweet peace and
love and harmony OF home. There Is no greater
falacy than to suppose that, because people are
relations, there Is less necessity for the common
courtesy and consideration that everybody is WILL
Ing 10 extend TO the merest stranger
Il must follow, as a matter OF course, that where
certain number or persons, with perhaps diamet-
rleaiiy opposed constitutions. temperaments and
In daily, even hourly contact, there should be as
many dinerences Of opinion, TASTE thought and
II Is only by the utmost care and tact that such
clashfng can be avoided
Some few families there may be 30 happily cir
cumsLance0 as 10 run smoothly along upon the
same lines without Earring one upon another, but
It Is to be feared that these are the exception
our relations" has become a trite saying, but that
Is hardly good reason for turning upon those to
whom fate has also denied any voice In the choice
pain we may be infiicting, tramping upon their
tenderest feelings, their most delicate scruples,
ruthless brutality that can only be excused on the
ground 30 often given that 1--WE never guessed they
would mind so much" 1t certainly does not i'm
feel that with ordinary consideration all this
might have been avoided and that the torture
closest ties and associations to have acted dier-
emily.
1t is probably because people living in the faml-
1arity and intimacy OF home life do know so much
FAMILY
TO heal or any. Words are flung in q moment OF
tha s9T the fact Of their very Leave
because the person who filings such words knows
exactly where the weapon will best strike home
Will best take effect-that wounds OF this sort are
forget
One OF the most fruitful sources Of family quar-
reis is the habit OF repeating round. A tells b
something that had said or done. b. on his part,
tells somebody else, with a little establishment
from his own somewhat lively Imagination. This
is well talked over and discussed in private by all
three, till at last poor himself would quite fail
in the highly cOlOred picture Of his mlsdemeanOr
that Is going the round OF the family. 1t is well
tor him he goes no further and distant relatives
do not catch the echo and add their voice to the
Sibilant censure that runs like deadly under-cur
rent, marring C's life and happiness 1t is the old
ns love saying enS
the most interesting to dissect-Just the
morbid pleasure OF pulling characters to
ding with other mems matters. Probably the
originators OF the gossip would be shocked to
realize all the harm their idle llconsidered con-
duct has caused. "They surely had right to say
50 and so about their own sister, parent, child" as
the case may be- as II the fact OF the victims ela
tionship gave them undisputed power to tamper
with HIS or her happiness, peace, or fair fame ''It
was Only In the family; nobody else had been told
and 1t really could not signify to II such letter
him." Does 1t not? would tell different tale,
II he We're asked, of the misery o. being misunder.
SSSd n and M Se or 0 ever o gsas
thing 80 utterly Intangible that an outsider would
smile to think OF quarrel beginning on so slight
| To an outsider, indeed, family jars are for the
greater part totally inexplicable. To be present
at "scene" whereof the cause and effect seem TO
the unlnItiated spectator as dfSpr0pOrtioned as
ridiculous has been the fate OF most OF US at some
time or another.
| An apparently innocent remark is made, say at
] table, with no more obviously malicious Intent
than would be request to pass the salt, and I'm
mediately there is look or response from the un-
! fortunate whose head the cap was designated to
ut that reveals the fact or some hidden nterpreta-
| ton, some poSOaed innuendo, known only 10 the
mystic Gree, utterly bewildering to the ast0nshed
Witness He Is even happy II he does not himself at
some unexpected moment stumble unluckily upon
the sore point, ana perceive, much to hts disuay,
by the dead silence or hasty diversion Of the sub
Ject that follows his observation, that he has UNI
Willingly fallen upon tue wrong tack.
marriage in the family Will often serve to set
| an entire household by the ears. The young peo-
pie oecome acquainted, a Few chance meetings. a
game or 50 at lawn tennis, few walks rides, &C,
under the noses OF their benign and unsuspecting
elders, and one OF those mushroom attachments
spring up which, like the mushroom, are often the
product Of very shallow soil. They know positively
Ro" 81 sen Seii e &c nv os
by-and-by. They marry in haste, and presently
papa aud mamma on one side make discovery as
TO undesirable connections or antec-deuts on the
other Or perhaps there Is n Jealousy between
the mOthers-in-law, or money matters have not
been satisfactorily settled after ALL or the hopeful
4 10 " no r. lnnQ ntal m
spite of his fine talk, and show a wonderful apti-
tude for proving the claims OF relationship BY
War breaks out, and helgh presto! The face Of
everything is changed Parties are formed, bet
ter words are spoken. resentment bOils over, cold
ness and eStrangement follow, and the marriage
bells that rang so blithely but a little while ago
are all tangled and out OF tune"
Where such discord is in the air, It will be for
tunate II the whole fabric OF domestic union does
| not COME tumbing to the ground. burying and
celebrating ia its fall every trace OF the once sa-
| cred inner sanctuary called home.
| closeness OF the bond that uniles them becomes
| only the more CALLING and uncomfortable and should
the strain prove too great and the links give way
at last the impetus that sends each one nying on
| a separate path Will drive them farther and far
Their apart, while time instead of reuniting, Will
| but fix wider gulf-a greater distance as years
| go on There's no place like home rings
strangely In the ears sometimes with cynic-
ally Inverted meaning, and signs Chs, are hidden
echoes the cOstermonger's OutspOken comment,
| "and precious good thing there amt" Such
! things need not be, OF course. Perhaps for our
1t is Just well even to ignore the existence
| OF such things. Where possibility becomes food
! for thOught-much less cOnversati0n-it is more
than half way toward being accomplished. II
parents would bring up their children to look upon
! family Quarres as equally impossible as Disgrace
| full; II tale-bearng were promptly discouraged by
cold inattention and contempt, and higher sense
OF generosity and fair play nculcated even In the
| nursery, 1t would do much to soften and ward on
the many little rubS that are sure to come In later
| life.
skeletons there must and will be in every cup
board, but the most hideOuS specimen Of its kind
is this OF family fil-wili. No country prosper
| with civil war gnawing at It's heart and house
divided against itself must, sooner or later, in.
| evttabiy come to grief. Tact and worldly wisdom
will 90 far toward the prevention OF family Jars;
but kndliness mutual fOrbearance and self-contrOl
| will 60 still farther.
Forgot that he Was Married.
| From the Chicago Tribune.
A paragraph has been going the rounds Of the
press of late purporting to be q truthful account
| of o remarkable case OF Observation-Disclosures which
made young man forget his wedding day. A
prominent civil engineer In this city called atten-
ton TO this floating paragraph yesterday, and said
| II know OF much more remarkable case. It
i WAa not Observation-Disclosures. however hut films