The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-10-01
YuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
"A man never has good luck WI

"A man never has good luck who
has a bad wife.-Beecber.
1t is pity that our neighbors dc
not know as well as we do what is best
for them, -BoSton Courier.
There is no package so small that
a woman will not have it sent home in
large red wagon, in preference to
carrying it.-Hwper's Bazaar.
True honor is that which refrains
from doing i'll secret what it would not
do openly, and where other laws are
wanting. imposes a law upon itself.
DO not marry for riches. my SON.
but remember that the husband of an
heiress is seldom obliged to. get up at
five o'clock in the morning and build
the fire.-IerGs S1tingS.
The Englishman who said there
were no ruins in this country could
never have met an American citizen re.
turning home after torchlight process
sion. -BurEiBJton Free Press.
One of the queer things of the age
is that where one man can be found to
work for two dollars day four can bt
found to sit on the fence and look at
him for nothing. Lincoln Journal.
A New Yorker has invented
vacuum, but the authorities in Wash
ington refuse to grant him q patent on
it. They say his vacuum is bare
faced Infringement on a dudes head. =
No'rtstown Herald.
| Every one who would rise must be
thinker and worker. Not chiefly
by study or reading will man become
the first; there is often much kGAyledge
with few ideas; there are very learned
men without any grand thoughts of
their own.
1t is said that when an Indian dies
his surviving relatives pay all his debts.
We are acquainted with man whom
we heartily wish would turn Indian and
die. If he reads this it will be just like
him to wonder who is meant.-PbilG-
detpttG Call.
The best thing to give to your en-
envy is forgiveness; to an opponent toll
erance; to a friend, your heart; to your
child, a good example; to father, def
erence; to your mother, conduct that
will make her proud of you; to your
self, respect; to all men charity. Mrs.
Balfour.
"A story in an exchange begins:
"Madge lie Baron walked home through
the gathering twilight with frown on
her pretty face" After such an intro
duction as that it is MOST startling to
find the story winding up with no ref
erence to "Snooks's Blood Purifier or
''Madame Crinoline's Imperial Bustle."
Boston transcript.
Magazine Editor--'I regret to say,
sir, that | mrst dispense with your serv-
ices. " Able Assistant-''W hat?" This
magazine can appear only once more;
| will set up the last number myself and
then lie down to die" r'Ah, the time
has come; the blow has struck; the day
of American literature is dead" Eyes,
the war articles are all out. omaha
World.
did you hear the sad news about
Jenks?h asked Gus Snobberly of Charlie
Knickerbocker. mo, what is it?' He
was drowned while rowing boat in
Central Park" Couldn't he swim?"
THAT wouldn't have made any DIFF
ference. Swimming in Central Park is
strictly prohibited, and the park police
enforce the law, you know. If he had
tried to swim he would have been
dubbed to death. "-TcHas SJtingS.
-Detective-''Y wish to see me,
sir?" Citizen-"Yes; l have been
robbed of package of money"
''How?" 81 entrusted it to messen-
ger boy and he has not been heard of
since" "How long ago." Ten
hours; I suppose he is half way to
Canada by this time 20, no; he
can't be more than five or six blocks
off; I'll look for him. ''-Omaha World.