The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-24
A QUEER ALBUM |.
bl oRrit H STEIN

Cynical people who Sgaru stamp enthusiasts as pronounced put harm less idiots are apt to designate auto graph collectors as dangerous luna ties, while tho facts that this class forms one of the penalties of greatness has brought denunciations from high places upon their heads. Leaving out professional collectors, who pay fancy prices for Napoleonic and Washing tonian scrawls, young people usually pass through mild form ot the autograph fever, just as they do tine measles With girls the moroe- co-backed album appears about the time that the valelictorN and gradu- ating dress gets ripe. One Of the worst things that can be said about the little volume is its horrible same ness to all other editions, and ingenn- itv has heen taxed to vary them. Sone uaievoivnt pee>ou envc upon time devised sort ei confessional that takes it's place, and pulls the unhappy victim through d course of questions as to the color of his hair and eyes, his prejudiees, peculiarities, eccentric ities and tastes in authors and meat. But q ladV here in Fl Paso has done better. The idea iS not original: il was one of the toibles of the illustri- ous Donna Sol, who has recently charmed San Francisco with her art, and electrified New York with her ti- ger eat.
 The autograph album ill question k skull. It was originally the prop erty of Mexican, who died on the Rio Grande without the benefit of a benediction or boot-jack, and proba- bly in its time. il wore jaunty som- brero and held an unnumbered quan- tity of cigarettes between its glistcn- ing jaws. Al present it is simply a polished white dome of bone. with a brass standard screwed into its mc- duild odiOHadtd attaching it to n slab of black marble. The pieces arc held in place ny wire pins at the sutures. A taXidcrmist fixed it up for five dol lars, or some such triilc.
 So much for the album. The ghaStlv trinket is regularly sprung upon the young lady's friends, with i the request that they write something appropriate upon it. The surface is smooth as glass, and q little manipula- ton of an a-ink bottle and lith- ographic pen does the work. The frontal regions arc pretty well covered now, and the rear eXpanse is left for the back counties not yet heard from. Some of the inscriptions are worthy of chronicle nc;woon tie eyes is this verse
 Where is the patter'
 Where is the chatter;
 Where the gray matter.
 The vltaliLed spark.
 ScIcnce erratiC.
 Religion dogma tic
 Are both quite emphatic. AHd both in the dark.
 Behind this disgruntled observer of human nature has pcnncd:
 You mind me of Macchiavelii-
 great head and no backbone.
 A sentimentalist leaves his tribute in a line above the ear, or rather where the ear was:
 shell from which
 The pearl s gone.
 Something in the same vein is an- other inscription not far away
 Empty scabbard where's
 Thy swOrdS
 Directly beneath this another hand has penned the terse reioinder
 It has scared.
 On the broad, level space on top, as tree from bumps, vicious or intel lectual, az a billiard ball, are these two stanZas
 Do the thoughts, fond, foolish, wise.
 That ran id once in your brain,
 Ever come In spectral gnise,
 And hold TeVel there h2nins
 Do they whisper, soft and low.
 Through the empty ehaInb bers here.
 Songs you loved long. long ago,
 Names you once held very dear
 Away over at one side somebody who had evidently taken in the con- tour of the skull expressed himself in the following unkind proposition: I'll wager there is more the outside of your head than there ever was on the inside. A famous oarsman who passed through Texas not long ago on his way 10 the Pacific coast, was led un- willingly up 10 the depository and finally expressed himself briefly thus have A weakness for senlis-
 An old gentleman, who declared that he skuii never belonged to man, but was once part of the effects oi A senorita and had worn a mantilla many time, placed this line above his autograph:
 A chatter box minus the chatter.
 A studious friend to whom the au- tograph album was suggestive of For rick, drew on the bard of Avon for his sentiment and wrote:
 sans hair, sans eyes.
 sans teeth, sans every thing.
 Ii will be observed that he quoted od hJ. Near this effort is a reflection that it probably suggested
 I believe now that
 beauty is only skin