davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-03-27
mISCELLANROUs.

MISCELLANEOUS
WHY
IT IS POSSIBLE FOR US To
GIVE AWAY
ELEGANT PRESENTS
WITH
ALL BOOTS AND SHOES.
Many a Jealous and euvy-smitten com
ne itor has ridiculed our establishment De
cause we, py the use OF
Energy and Enterprise
foualitie es unknown to them). have brought
from the distaut East many useful articles
to gladden. the eyes and delight the hearts
OF our patrons.
with dismay, end plsintively tell their few
and far-between customers that we RAISE
the rrices of our Boots and Shoes in order
to make both ends meet, and tnat tney are
| too yirtunue 10 do ANYTHING OF the kind.
The real facts are, 1t is because we use
Coin, Courage and Enterprise
somely. We are selling better Boots and
ST. oes FOR LESS MONEY than any house
in town, and
Giving Away Elegant Presents.
EDrTe defy any Shoe merchant-or ex.
cuse for ONE produce an equal to our
Sy.75Ladies' Ere uch Kid Button Shoe. ano
throw In present worth dollar.
Handsome PRESENTS with all Purchases
Handsome Presents with all Purchases
Handsome PkESENT5 with all Purchases
| HEADQUARTERS
Boot and Shoe House,
goo N. Main st.. Downev Rtock
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-03-27

6Oxl65 feet on Spring street for
$4,000. This is an extraordin-
ary bargain, and will certainly
double in value soon. Only
one-third cash, balance in II
months.
$S5OO-9-room two-story dwelling on
Hill street; located in the best
neighborhood in the city /; beau
tiful yards, nice lawn, and all
kinds of rare flowers. This is
emphatically a good bargain;
one.half cash, balance in II
months.
SIC, 1000 will buy 20 acres set to fruit
on Vernon avenue; one-third
cash, balance to suit purchaser; ;
cannot buy any land adjoining
for less than double this price.
These three pieces of property are
way down in price and will go quick
at these figures.
If you want to Buy, Rent or Sell
your property, come to see us.
We also represent several first
class insurance companies.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-03-27

Coal, Coke, Charcoal and Wood,
Wholesale and retail. Special rates for car
load lots, delivered to all points. Office-S
Court street; 'lephone SO. Yard-Corner
Alameda and Jackson streets telephone 3l5.
WALTER s. MAXWELL,
Sole agent for Wellington Coal.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-03-27
Newcastle Fruit Land,
PLACER COUNTY.

DARTIEs DESIRING TO PURCHASE
fruit land In Placer county, in the
neighborhOod Of Newcastle, will do well to
correspond with the undersigned, as he has
arge number of improved and unim-
proved farms. from to $40 acres. ranging
ROBERT JONES,
mr1e-M Newcastle, Gal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
A SOuth American Sea Duck.

In a Barclay street store is splendid
specimen of the South American loon,
stuffed by the same artist of Rochester
who has preserved Jumbo for posterity.
1t is nothing but an enormous sea duck,
with four-inch bill, sharp as a needle
and keen as blade. The other day a
sailor dropped in and paused admiringly
before the bird.
"Where did he come from, shipmate p"
"Otf the coast of Brazil, " the proprie-
tor replied.
"Wcll," said the old salt, "I was
askin' because I've bet rations as Pm the
only man as ever had one O. them pesky
things in my hand alive. They're smarter
n fox, and devilish hard to shoot We
was sailin' the Gulf O. Mexico in the Vic
tor bout ten year ago, when one of them
critters came alongside and cast anchor
on the bowsprit. l was younger then as
am now, and saysI: Bird, ahoy Dem
me if I don't run down that thing 1t
was nearly dark, and feels my way eau.
tious-likc along the bowsprit and grabbed
him sudden by the neck afore he knowed
what was up. Pm tellin' you it was a
job a gettin' that fellow on deck. He
cut my coat like razor We bound him
to the deck with three-cord rope. He
took loaf of bread we tossed him, and
halved it with his bill like knife. Be-
fore daylight he'd worked his way
through that rope and was gone. Blessed
if don't believe them birds can bite
through lamp post. "-Nelo York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
The Life of q GrasShOpper.

As. every one knows, it is rule of
nature every winged insect shall die
within the year THE occasional indivi-
duals that survive the twelve months
only proving the rule), for the stage OF
wings is the last third of the creature s
life. After all, it would be very absurd
if we did not recognize among ourselves
the stages of childhood, youth, middle
age and old age, which together cover
the span of our "three score years and
ten" An insects stages proceed in a
far smaller compass, and the winged one
is the last. 1t is really the old age of
the caterpillar or grub.
Thus grasshopper may be for two or
three years grub, for another six
months hobbledehoy-that is, a wing
less thing, half grub, half grasshopper-
and then for a further space winged
grasshopper. In the last stage it mar
ries, and there is an end of its purpose.
Nature has no further need for it and
does not care whether it dies or not.
The slender fragiIity of the insects ap-
pearancc may have suggested a feeble
hold of life; some grasshoppers look like
the mere specters of insects. About
others, too, there is vegetable, perisha-
BILE look, as of thin grass-blades that a
frost would kill or heat shrivel up: sus-
picion about their sere and faded edges
that they are already beginning to
wither. But the grasshopper has nothing
to complain of as to its length of life. 1t
sings the summer in and the autumn out,
and goes to sleep with the year.-Gealtle-
aanu's Mnda.ine.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
The Court Adjourned.

A witness was being examined before
a Dakota justice of the peace, and in the
course of his testimony mentioned hav-
ing said to the prisoner at one time that
he had horse he wanted to trade.
"Hey2" said the prosecuting attorney,
who was conducting the examination; :;
"was it that sorl one of yours."
eyes"
"Want to trade YETI"
"Don't care if | do-what you got3"
"He hasn't anything that you want"
put in the attorney for the defense; ''if
you want to trade 1 can give you
mighty good show with my bay mare"
"Order in the court ROOM" roared the
justice, waking up at this point. ''What
was the last testimony you gaveI"
II said l once met the prisoner and
said to him: Bill, I'd like to trade you
that sor'l mare O mine -"
"Hold on a minute" said the justice,
"you don't want to trade your SORT yet,
I s,POsGa', s.P ,s;r,+ ;f r no+ , nooa cn.noo
'!Say," continued the court, eff you
mean business l can give you jest the
slickest swap for that buckskin hoss of
mine, an bout $40 to boot, that you
ever seen! This court is adjourned for
one hour-come out to the barn and look
my hoss over.-Dakota Bell.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Mark TWain's COurtship.

Mark Twain has been the subject of
many good stories in his day, and the
appended one from the Indianapolis
Journal, about trying moment in his
courtship, is worth reproducing:
AS every one knows, Mr.. Clemens
first met his beautiful wife while on the
famous voyage of the Quaker City, and
he pursued his acquaintance after their
return so closely that at last the young
lady's papa one day called the ardent
and devoted Mark into his private study
and said, after some preamble: "Mr.
Clemens, l have something to say to
you which bears upon subject of grave
importance, at least to me and mine.
You have been coming here for some
time, and your manner leaves no doubt
in my mind as to your object, Now,
my daughters welfare is very. dear to
me, and before l can admit you to her
society on the footing of suitor to her
hand, 1 would like to know something
more than l do about you and your an
tecedcnts, etc. Stop a minute! You
must remember that man may be "a
good fellow, and pleasant companion
on voyage and all that, but when it is
a question rs grave as this wise father
tries to take every precaution before al
lowing his daughters affections to be-
come engaged, and I ask of you, as q
gentleman, that you shall give me the
names OF some of yonr friends in Cali
fornia to whom l may write and make
such inquiries as deem necessary, that
is, if YOU still desire our friendship" 1t
was now Mark Twain's turn. "Sir," !"
said he, bowling profoundly, as became a
young man who respects his hoped-for
fathcr-in-law, ''your sentiments arc in
every way correct. l approve of them
myself, and hasten to add that you have
not been mistaken in my sentiments to-
ward your daughter, whom I may tell
you candidly seems to me to be the most
perfect of her sex, and I honor your
solicitation for her welfare. | am not
only perfectly willing to give you refer
enccs, but am only too glad to have an
opportunity to do so, which my natural
modcsty would have prevented me from
Offering. Therefore permit me to give
you the names of few of my friends. l
will write them down. First is Lieu
tenant General John McComb, Alexander
Badam, General Lander and Colonel
w. H. l.. Barnes. They will all lie for
me lust as l would for them under like
circumstances. This conclusion broke
the old man all up, and he never asked
more reference nor wrote to those gentle
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
He Hated a Thief,

Late one afternoon while on the edge
of the Black Hills country, near Buffalo
Gap, we got into conversation with set
tier and mentioned that we were going
to camp for the night down the road
about quarter of mile, among some
trees.
"Of course you'll do as you please,
genT'men," said the native, "but I'll ad-
wise you notter camp there"
"Why not2"
''D'ye see that cabin down bout fifty
yards from the timber you're speakin'
of"
eyes"
"Well, sir, the biggest thief in the
Hills lives there. If you camp there
he'll be sure to steal som'thin' from you
fore mornin'."
SIS that so"
''You bctl There's my barn back
there where store my oats. For the
last two year that feller hasn't fed his
team single mouthful of his own hoss
feed-been stealin' out O. mine all the
time"
"Should think you would do some
thing about it."
"Me2 Well, y-a-e-s, you might think
/ would, but you see the fack is durin'
all this time I've been feedin' my team
out @ his oats -been goin' down nights
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Ye St0rie Of Ye DOggie.

Once in ye very olden tyne Mer5
chantt sayd too an Eddytor, II doan
thynke advertizing payes."
''Lct me show yov," said ye Eddytor,
II pvtt lyme in my Papyr and not
charge yov penr ie"
"All right" replied the Merchant,
"and we will sce."
So ye Eddytor pvtte ye lyme in his
papyr:
WANTED A DoGGE. JOHN JONES, $50
w Olde st.
Now vt happened that 400 Peple cache
brovghte Dogge on yc next daye there
after, so that Mister Jones (whych was
We Merchantt's nayme) was overrunne
with Dogge's.
"Synce there are SO manye Dogges, :"
sayd he, 81 thynke myght make some
bysiness and will give you a pennic for
cache Dogge."
Ye people tooke ye pennie each for
his Dogge becavse there were so manye
Dogges, and Mister Jones skynned ye
400 Dogges and made bootes and gloves
from ye 400 hydcs and thvs mayd
A BYG FORTUNE,
and thereafter added to vt by adVertiz-
ing in ys Eddytor's papyr.-Ameriean
Gr9cer. -.--.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Foul Air and Pulmonary Diseases.

The great anatomist, Langcnbeck,
saws: am sure now of what suspected
long ago, viz. That pulmonary diseases
are nearly exclusively if we except
tuberculous tendencies inherited from
parents, l say quite exclusively pro-
duccd by the breathing of foul air. The
lungs of all persons, miners included,
who had worked for some years in close
workshops and dusty factories, showed
the germs of the fatal disease; while even
confirmed inebriates, who had passed
their days in open air, had preserved
their respiratory organs intact, whatever
inroads their cxccsscs had made on the
rest of their system. If should 60 into
practice, and undertake the cure of con-
sumptivc, I should begin by driving him
out, and prevent him from entering a
house fora year or two.-Sanitary Era.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
A Planet Taken with Commissions.

A correspondent of the Pioneer Press,
of India, gives the following account OF
''facts as witnessed by myself, wife and
two Mahommedan servants, all four see,
ing the phenomenon simultaneously, and
not for minnie or so, but for upward
of an hour" "At about $50 o'clock in
the evening, while sitting at dinner, one
of my khitmutgars came in from the out,
side and said: Sir, just step out and
see what tamasha is taking place with
the star Sook'-the native name for
Venus. Out we went, and sure enough,
there was Venus, large and bright, but,
strange to say, falling two, three and
four feet at time, then oscillating from
right to left; sometimes dashing to the
right and then to the left several feet at
time. These movements continued in
rapid succession, and were plainly ap-
parent to all at once; but this was not all.
Venus, when we first saw her, was, say,
apparently some four hundred yards
above horizon. While watching her, we
observed star (some two yards, to look
at) above suddenly fall into Venus and
there remain. We were amazed. The
natives exclaimed: THE last day is at
hand and so on. We watched Venus
rapidly descending until she dipped the
horizon. At times she appeared her usual
size and quite bright, then again hardly
visible. Perhaps the phenomenon de-
scribed can be explained by some one
vcrsed in astronomy. again repeat
that what has been described was seen by
myself, wife and two native servants,
and could by no means have been i'm
agination."
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Too Old.

" "say! lemme use your telephone a
minit!" he exclaimed, as he rushed into
an office on Griswold street.
"Certainly."
''Hello! hello! Give me G,2O5. Is that
you, darlingp'
WYes.O
'Say, pet, I left my wallet on the
dresser with $3.50 in it. Did you find ita"
GOOD 'Fraid I'd lost it on the street.
Big load off my mind. Shall bring up
those shoes!"
("Yes.'O
'G'm dead broke, you know, but per-
haps 1 can borrow S. until after dinner,
SO as not to disappoint you. Good-by,
darling"
("Good-by, swcetness.~
"Say," he said to the man at the desk,
"perhaps you overheard what l said, and
will lend me the ive."
The occupant pointed over his shoulder
to the door.
"What2 Skip2"
eyes"
"Too old?"
eyes"
"Been caught before9"
eyes"
'Iskip Good-b w-Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
A BARRIERS Frishtful Example.

"Will you take bottle of hair re-
storer 2" asked barber of customer.
"Not now, thank you," the latter re-
Piled "By the way, may I ask you why
you don't use the hair restorer your
self Your locks are rather thin"
AS the barber had scarcely hair on
his head, the phrase "rather thin :"
sounded like sarcasm.
"The boss doesn't allow it," explained
the barber.
"Why not2 I'd think it would be q
recommendation.
"No; he selects only bald-headed men
to work for him, and hopes to sell his
hair restorer by having them pose as
frightful examples. ."-1eras Sytangs.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Determined to Sell.

"Stranger, 1 want to sell yer horse. :"
"Stranger," was the reply, II don't
want him"
STRANGER" rejoined the wayfarer,
"yer RELY must buy him. Yer never see
q better horse for the price"
"What is the price, strangcr?" asked
the contemplating man.
"a hundred and fifty dollars and dirt
cheap at that"
The inquirer meditated for few mo-
ments and then blandly remarked:
"Stranger, I'll give yer five"
The equestrian dismounted, saying
with earnestnes: "Stranger, won't al
low one hundred and forty-five dollars to
stand between you and me and trade.
The horse is yours. ."-SJtings.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Wanted Insurance.

els this fire insurance company 2"he
inquired as he hesitatingly entered the
Office of one of the best known companies
in the country.
"Yes, sir. Anything we can do for
you Z"
"Yes. Pm travelling man, and I've
lust set a situation. rve been unfortunate
in every other jeh Pve had. Always struck
dull trade you know and got fired. Now,
if you will insure me against fire in this
case I'll be perfectly willing to pay what
ever is reasonable for a policy"
But the company wasn't filling that
kind ola long felt want.-Aerehant Irau-
eler.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
a Truly Wonderful Mana BARRIERS
Frightful Evamplc-Determin-
ing to Sell-Wanted Insur-
ancc-Too Old, Etc, Etc.

Featherly-'.I don't think much of
your friend Robinson, Dumley."
Dumley-''What's the matter with
him2"
Featherley-''I read him an original
poem last night of twenty-four verses,
and lie walked off without saying a
word"
Dumley-"He is certainly wonderful
man"
Featherley-''How wonderful"
Dumley-'In being able to walk off:
Ifhe were not wonderful man he would
have been carried off. ."-Harper's Ba=ar.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
The Whistling Tree.

In the g-cat forests of Nubia grows a
tree, from which, when swayed by the
wind, come strange sounds, like the
noise of flute, fife or penny whistle.
This vocal tree is regarded with supersti-
tious terror by the natives, and it has
been a puzzle to every one who has heard
the mysterious sounds, until some scicn-
titic traveller investigated the matter.
He found that at certain seasons of the
year hordcs of insects deposited their
eggs on the young shoots and extremi-
ties of the branches. These produced
gall-likc excrescences about an inch in
diameter. When the young insects
emerge small holes are lett in the gals.
The wind blowing through these little
apertures causes the strange noises. 1t
is probably the only instance CT tree
which bears penny whistles.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Land Hunting in Arkansas.

A man stopped near Pattcrsons Bayou
and thus addressed an old fellow who
stood with his arms resting on fence
"Do you live hcrc?" he asked.
Don't see me dying here, do you!"
"Ah, you are sportive. l have heard
of this neighborhood, and have the
names of several people. Where is j.
B. Mucklc?"
"Dead."
"Ah"
s'Ah, hah."
''What was the matter with him'"
"Sick."
'What sort of sickncss3"
"Swamp fever"
s'Lct me sec," consulting a scrap OF
paper, where is Tom w. Buck"
Dead"
"What did he die of 2"
"Swamp fever.
"Humph. Where can I find Sim
Blyl'
"Swamp fever"
eyes"
"Do you know anything about Calvin
Hunter"
"Yes, laid him out.
"What was the matter with him?"
"Swamp fever"
"My friend, 1 have come into this
ncighborhood to buy land"
The native, smiling a welcome, re-
piled: "We've got the finest country on
earth, podner, right here. I've got 260
acres that I'll let you have"
"How does it lie."
"Fust rate"
"How's the water?"
"Best in the world"
"Land rich?'
"Cream couldn't hold lightning bug
to it."
GLOW is this neighborhood in the
way of health" .
:'Swect as pre-fncst you ever saw"
'No chills?"
"Not one."
"Fever of any kind"
"Not fever"
"What about those fellows that died2"
"Hah-oh, them fellcrs. Why, you
see, they-they-w'y, they oug hter died. "
"That's all right, but don't believe I
want any land round here"
"You don't! Wy, deuce take your
ugly hide, WY didn't you tell me at fust
that you thought O. buyin' land an 1
wouldn't a-said nothin' about them fell
lcrs dyin'. Blast your hide! You 60
around the country takin' advantage O.
fellers this way. You don't know how
to treat gentleman. Move on, now, or
I'll hurt you. Come cheatin' me out of
a sale. Move on, tell you. ."-Askansas
Trureler
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Is 1t Not Singular

That consumptives should be least appresen-
sive Of their own condition, while all their
friends a.e urging and beseeching them to be
more careful about exposure and OVERRIDING. 1t
may well be considered one Of the most alarm
ing symptoms Of the disease, where the patient
is reckless and will not believe that he is in
danger. Reader, if you are in this condition,
do not neglect the only means Of recovery.
Avoid exposure and fatigue, be regular in your
habits, and use faithfully OF DR.. Pierce'S
"Golden Medical Discovery" 1t has saved
thousands who we're steadily failing.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

after he's abed an backin' 'em up My
team is little heftier eaters than his'n
so l don't complain much. But DO
hate thief ics' dispise en-. Cnhook
right here in front O. my house if you
want to-this is good campin' ground"
-Dak0ta Bell.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21
Teaut full Women

Arc made palliu aid unattractive by function
al Irregularities which DR.. Pierce's "FavOrite
Prescription" will infallibly cure. Thousands
of testimonials. BY druggists.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

THE births recorded in London every week
exceed the deaths by more than thousand,
and during the next ten years the increase in
the number of Inhabitants will probably he
nearly three-quarters of million.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

Don't hawk, hawk, blow, spit, and disgust
everybody with your offensive breath, but use
Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy and end It.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

II afflicted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac Thomp-
sons Eye-water. Druggists sell at25c. per bottle
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

JAPANESE ladies arc rapidly adopting the
European fashion of dress.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

ROYAL GLUE mends anything! Broken Chi.
ma, Glass, Wood. Free Walls at Drugs & Gro
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

THE Gentle votes of Utah are about Is per
cent of the whole number.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

The best cough medicine is Piso's Cure TO-
Consumption. Sold everywhere. 25c.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-21

Rains and floods have intcrfered with
the rice harvest in Louisiana and Georgia.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-05-27
The pemoran,ed English Army.

During last year no less than 5000
soldiers deserted from the ranks. In ad-
dition to this numbers purchased their
discharge, alleging as their reasons for
doing 50 that there were too many rough
characters to associate with, too many
masters, distaste for language of barrack
room, deceived by poster advantages of
the army as to pay and ~rations, the
offensive bearing of some of the officers,
rations insufficient and general disappoint-
ment with military life, could not get
married with leave, there being no pros
pect of a vacancy. The assertions from
the militia during the same year num-
bered upward of 10000 men.-London
Society.