Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1887-01-15
MAIDS ON A LARK

MAIDS ON A. LARK
Fan 1sly and I W just eu(ancipat4 ]
vas oJSfng to somes(ttle miSderneansf
trivisIto be mentioned here. Miss Snip. th
ilust,ious head and front Of the p~onsionna
des demoiselles, had politely given Us .
! of absence of an indefinite period, advisinl
US to spend said period in the country Tor To
| benefit Of our health. Fan and ! bad prec1pi
lately packed of Il q beautiful little villag'
far from the ears Of our respective and II
spected parents, and prepared to infiict q LON
visit mon the establishment of certain
bachelor uncle of mine, yclept Tom. -Uncb
| Tom thought at first we were a couple d
| lunatics when we drove up TO the door Of ht
quiet residence, where he sat on the veranos
| with a frightfnny handsome fellow beside
him, both indulging in the luxury Of two
fragrant Havanas. We were tired and dusty
our faces needing washing most decidedly.
and our hair was taking Aviews afoot" al
We stosodat ths gate, 1@aadketi1ndg t@H5driver t.
take down the baggage. when ! distinctly
heard Uncle Tom, jumping up. exclaim: :
"."vho in thunder can it be, Dick'"
"Some- of your wives OF children should
presume, I've always expected it; j doesna
astonish me at all II the fatigue Of Their
journey should bring ON an illness, I shall be
happy to offer nay professional Services"
SConfeund your joking, DickI. Don't you
Gee there are two pairs Of petticoats, and all
the appurtenances thereto pertaining, coming
right here upon us; and I know no more who
they are than If they rose out Of Hades; and
you won't say a word to help a poor, rascal
out Of the scrape. The deuce, here they
Gomez.
"There'si a lunatic asylum ten miles from
here, and the ladies' draperY' is rather dis.
composed; put this and that together, Tom,
Sand Come to the conclusion, y interrupted
], "that, although appearances may be
against us, yet we are not two escaped Bed
lamites; but only your most dutiful niece,
Lottie Richardson, and her most dutiful
friend, Fanny Ils1y; and we've come to make
you a visit; and, to begin, Uncle Tom, how
do you dol And who is this -impudent jack
anapes here laughing at met And what have
got for support And how. can you make
out to support1ife in such a little ut-of-the
way den as thisa And amt you glad to sec us1
And don't you think I look better than Fan
here if my bonnet, is smashed I'M"
Ny mouth was here stopped by Uncle
Toms mustache as he attempted to kiss me-,
and then I had to- make another speech in
order to get him to kiss Fan, so that she
wouldn't be quarreling with me as soon as we
got upstairs. Uncle Tom, bachelor though
he was; didn't seem to feel badly about it.;
and that grinning man, who still sat there
stroking his whiskers, had the audacity to
wish that a bevy OF nieces would fall upon
him from the skies, even if they came with
smashed headgear and dirty faces. The impu-
dent wretchl I cutfed his ears and told him
that would answer his turn; but he took this as
q signal for a general fight and chased me all
over the house and yard until my hair all
tumbled down over my shoulders and he
finally kissed the back Of my head. mistak-
ing it for my face.
'"What shall we wears" said Fan, as soon as
we got in our room and prepared to dress for
tea. Something killing, pray; for hat Uncle
Tom of yours is as handsome as Jupiter, aud
I'm forty thousand farhoms deep in love with
him."
II always knew your time would come,
Fan, when you mercilessly held me up to ridi-
cule because l held my music teachers red
hair in alteration, and could not sleep nights
for thoughts of Jim Badgely's colored whis-
kers. The Malakof has surrendered, Bala-
klava is won; hurrah for the maid who has
shown the white featherl All hail to the con-
quering hero! Three times three for Uncle
as you've finished, please to designate the
articles of wearing apparel with which l shall
robe my unpretending self this momenCous
evening"
"Beauty, when unadorned, is adorned the
most, Fam"
(which means that I shall"-
"Wear a white something, Fan; but not
too much; that rose muslin, for instance,
with no neck or sleeves, and your hair per.
fectly plain"
And your
"Oh, it's no matter about mo; I'm not in
love. TN go in the white wrapper"
1.-THE idea'-
"Silence, Fan; Uncle Tom won't care: ard
what do I care for that, other old Eastwood
slabs'
"I1l wager this bracelet he'll break your
heart in a week"
"Done; and I'll wager that set Of laces wore
both dying for that he shall propose to me In
D month"
On descending to the parlor we were intro
to the gentleman we had been discuss
ing, as DR.. Richard Webb, and l took the OPP
portunity to whisper to Fan to know il she .
I was q foolish fly to be caught by
'uch a Webb as thata
awe shall see what We shall see" quoth that
infatuated damsel, glancing askance ut Uncle
Tom, but pretending to look at DR.. Webb, az
10 fastened some crimson roses in my hair
md in the girdle of my white wrapper.
What a charming evening it was! How we
over the tea table an hour, the doc
or and I quarreling amiably all the time to-
who should have the most Of the cold tur-
and jelly, and Uncle Tom satirically beg
ing me- all the time not to be at all bashful
nd to have another biscuit. I had complied |
With his request so often that I fully expected
o need DR.. WeEb's professional services be-
ore morning. and he offered them to me
But, finally, human nature and
IS stomach could bear no more, and we ad-
burned to the parlor, where Fan and Uncle
went to singing sentimental duets in a
aonn>. -o-fook1x- -o,A.~1 en:~-J. /