davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
The Philadelphia Times
THE WEEKLY TIMES.
CIXT Y-FOUR Columns of

CIXTY-FOUR Columns Of
- magazine newspaper read,
ing matter, crisp, attractive inter-
esting, instructive. The AN
NAILS OF THE WAR, by active
participants, illustrated; Wom-
ans World, contributed to by
some of the BEST WOMEN
WRITERS IN AMERICA The
l. a tie st Fashions TIM MES
YOUNG PEOPLE-by them
selves ORIGINAL STORIES
both short and continued Top
les of the time Pointed Editorial
Comment; SPECIAL ARTI-
Giles on thousands of subjects,
and ALL THE NEWS are
among its attractions. Terms,
81 per annum clubs of ten, SIS,
and an extra copy to the person
getting up the club.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
THE DAILY TIMES.
THE PHILADELPHIA Tim

III III EAIISlIl llA 4 kU(CS
is delivered by carriers in
all the cities, towns and villages
surrounding Philadelphia for SIX
CENTS a week, and is sold by
boys and newsdealers for ONE
CENT a copy, 1t is universally
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for the price, publishing all the
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tions of the Produce and Money
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in everything. 1t is not excelled
in Quality or Quantity by any
paper at any price By Mail
Four Months, One Dollar. One
Year, Three Dollars, postpaid.
One Month, 80 cts.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Eclectic Magazine
Foreign Literary, Science, and Art
THE LITERATURE OF THE WORLD"
ise7.-43d YEAR.

The Foreign Magazines embndv the best
thoughts 1f the ahle~t writers nj Europe. II
IS the ann Of the EcLEcT MAGAZINE tu Sc.
lect and reprint al the representative artt.
cles thus given tn the world.
The plan ur the EcLECTIC includes "Sci-
ence," "E say>." ''Revi-ws," "Bmgtaphi-
cal, "Sketch"s," "llistorical Papers. "'A,t
Criticism, " Travels" Poetry and Short
Stories -
IT, Editorial Departments comprise slit
erary Notices, dealing wuh current home
books. Foreign Literary Notes" "Soence
and Art, summarizing hr ehy tn new dis
cOveirs ard achievements in the field. aud
consisting Of choice extracts from new books
aud fnr"ign journals The subniued lists
exhihrt the prlucipal sources whence material
is dawn, and the names of some OF the
leading anthms whose articles may be
expected to appear:
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
OUR CLEARING OUT SALE.

Reason Ist.-To make room
for the large spring stock row
being manufactred for our coun-
tiers.
Reason 2nd.-We wish to do
our customers a special favor for
the advertising they will give us
by naming the very low price we
give them for the best made cloth
ing that can be purchased.
Reason 3d.-Ten different
styles of Children's Suits. nearly
complete in sizes this morning to
be sold your choice $500. be
cause we cannot duplicate the
goods.
Reason 4th.-We want to get
acquainted with more people and
we know extra low prices when
given by leading house, will in.
duce them to call and examine
This same offer holds good
throughout our entire stock.
Look at our Mems stock. Spec
ial reduction on many leading
patterns.
Our Boys five dollar Suits lead
anything to BE- found in the mai
ket.
We have succeeded in securing
one of the best cutters to be had
and in order to introduce him tc
you will give special prices in thi.
de partment, as we will make the
Custom Room ore of the specia
features Of our business.
Special prices this month.
Select your goods and leave
your order.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
TIE EssAYIsT,

Professor Harrison was shortly escorted
into the hall by the reception committee. II
was plain from his manner that he was used
to appearing in public He had decided lop
to one shoulder, was considerably bow legged
and at some time or other in his wild career
he had been hit in the right eye by peeled
onion and the onion had remained sticking
there. He did not create favorable first
impression, and many Of the members pulled
out their hymn books and settled back for an
hour OF silent recreation. After taking
drink of water and asking that six or seven
of the windows be lowered for the sake of
ventilation. the professor took the platform
and gave himself few shakes.
ave know what de beginnin' was,n said the
speaker, as he posed himself for grand ef-
fort, "but what will de eand bel We needn't
ask why dis world was created. 1t was to
balance de universe. Dar' was SO much land
ober in Yurup dat it got to tippin' de world
ober, an so de Iawd went at it an made
America to eben up fingS Den He thought
1t would be too bad to hev so much land go
TO waste, am he made Adam an Eve an lots
of odder folks AM dat's how we came to be
heah. [Muttered expressions Of doubt from
various parts of the hall1
Thousands Of years ago when somebody
invented de jacklinife de publick thought de
eand Of de world must be nigh, but de world
went right on jist the same. Den somebody
invented plug tObacker an hoss pistol, an
people held up deir hands an said dey didn't
keer to live any longer. De world kept gwine
right long iist the same, an we had de pitch
fork, de skoop shovel, de rat trap, de tele-
graf an de steam ingine in quick suckeshun.
A word about de rat trap. ar de inventor
an patentee of de only self actin rat trap on
de face Of dis har globe. 1t am warranted to
stand in any climate an do its work under
any circumstances. It ar called the Daisy,
an in case de members Of dis lodge will agree
to take a hundred or more will make dis.
count Of 10 per cent. tGreat figuring to sec
how much thirteen off would leave.l
"But to return to my essay. Step by step
foot by foot, dis world has gone onwards and
upwards, an de eand am not yit. It has goi
SO dat men fly frew de air an journey under
water. Steam does de work of millyens u
men an hosses, an de genius Of man am con
stantly at work to turn out somethin' new tC
better our condishun. Oar seems to be g
gineral impreshum dat we hev sorter reached
de eand of de rope, an dat genius will b,
taken around to de barn, tied up to the man
ger an be left to starve to death Terrible
groans from the back end OF the hall.l But
sich will not be de case 1t am at least 10
millyun miles away. doan' hardly speckt
to live to see it, an doan' 'spose any OF yot
speckt to. Ipredickt that we will keep gwint
right along as world mn people. Geniu:
won't stop, an culcher won't stop. We shall
keep passin' frew de refinery until dar will
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
"American News.n

During a trial at Tazeweli Court House
Va, which took place recently, a counsel nc
cused a witness of perjury; the witness I'M
mediatey rctorte1 that the counsel not only
made an invariable practice of walking round
the truth, but at times told lies that would
have shocked Ananias. At this juncture
both gentlemen drew revolvers and had a
high old time Of it with the six shooters. On
the first shot being fired, the judge promptly
disappeared under his desk. Crack! crackl
crack echoed through the court till the
shooting irons were emptied. Then five
stretchers were brought in, and Ave wounded
men We're carried out One was the learned
counsel After their removal the Judge eau.
tiously crept from his place OF shelter,
mounted the bench, rebuked the witness and
the trial was resumed.-Londou Judy.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19

come a day when man an woman will be no
perfeckt dat DER will be no need Of deir gwine
to heaben. Everything will be what de
Greeks call spirituelle. Oar will be no chaw-
in an smokin'-no swearin' an drinkin'-no
family rows-no stealn' chickens AM water
nlellyons. We all shall be purity an built
arter de latest fashun. Instead Of hevin' to
walk we shall sorter float around, an nobody
will war Uher No. 3 shoe. 1t won't nebber
rain or snow [cheersl dar won't be no police
around EapplauSel an if you owe anybody
anything he won't dare dun You fur it.
Tremendous cheering, during which one of
the Sacred Bear Traps fell down and nearly
killed Samuel Shin.l
"De eand Of dis world am of de life in it,
my frens, ar Ewine to be solemnly an
grandly bewtirul. We shall git up some
mawDin' feelin' extra good. Oar will be
champagne an oysters lloatn' around an not
co,tin' a red cent We shall cat an drink till
we almost bust, AM den we shall sorter float
outer der winder on SsFicy laden breezes,
kinder sail lords de sky, an de fust we know
de airth will sink away, an we all shall be
asleep. tCries Of 'hearr 'hear!l
"Dat will he de eand, my frenS, an as was
sayin' about dat daisy of rat trap it sells on
sight, No respectable family kin afford to
be widout one. 1t stands by You all day an
nebber runs off at night. Single traps fifty
cents each, or five for s2. Dis closes my
essay, an hopin' dat you hey all profitei mo-
or less by my remarks an dat my presence
heah dis eavenin' may be de means of maxim
you all better citizens, l healthy wish you a
fond good night"
When the essayist had left the hall there
was cold, solid silsnce of half a minute,
during which Elder Toots awolie with an aw-
full start Then Brother Gardner said:
"Dar am varus kinds OF essays--s0ne good,
some bad an some middlin'. You kin uebber
tell what one am gwine to be till it ar shot
of. doan' think we shall want any mo- fur
about three months. Let US go home. DE
troit Free Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Not Pure Latin.

A bright, mischievous city schoolboy, who
liked fooling better than study. recently fooled
his teacher by asking her if these words were
Latin or not. She could not give a direct
answer, but promised to investigate and re-
port. These We're the mysterious words:
Observation-Disclosures.
Inmudeelis InclRynonels
Translated:
In fir, tar Is. In oak, noneis
In mud, eel is. In clay, none is
Boston Budget
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Mimi Sc. the InIrs.

ayes, my hands are soft" said dudish and
conceited young fellow the other nigh. in
small company, as he admiringly looked at
those useless appendages that had never done
a days work. "Do you know how do It'll"
he exclaimed proudly. u wear gloves on my
hands every night to sleep in"
'Do you sleep with your hat on also1"
asked a pert young woman.
And the young fellow replied in the mega
tive and looked wonderingly because the
company smiled.-Hebrew Standard
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
A Texas Editor Rises to Explain.

The Standard wishes to correct a false
impression in reference to the "fringn OF the
editors wife and mother-in-law from the
Methodist church. They were not put out OF
the building, as some suppose, but merely had
their names erased from the roll of member
ship. The editor is not the kind of man to
quietly submit to having his wife and her
mother fired" bodily from church or else
where. He is not built that way; neither
is his mother-in-law.- -Belleville Standard.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
clrcnmstnnces Amer cnss..

Omaha Buy-Say, Sis, You know Mr. Nice
fellow begged your pardon for steppin' on
your dress an tearn' big hole in itl
Omaha Miss--Well what Of iti
"An' you said it didn't matter bit, an you
was glad Of it''
YES"
"'Cause you like to sew, an you didn't
know what to do with yourself il you hadn't
anything TO mend:'
"Well, what Of it, sayf
1T wasn't Mr., Nicefellow that stepped on
your dress. It was me-
"Oh you horrid, awkward, little wretch
Til skin you alive. .n--Omaha World
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
A Ioke on the suh Elitol.

During the Franco-German war a witty
contributor TO a provincial newspaper fire.
quently hal occasion TO complain of the in.
tense stupidity Of the sub editor, and hs at
length resolved 10 serve him out. One even
Ing after office hours, when he knew the sub
editor would he alone. with no at ono hand to
correct his blrnders, he telegraphed to him:
SThe PIussians have taken umbrage.n The sub
editor, glad Of any news late as it was, issued
large posters with the inscription: "Capture
Of Umbrage by the Prussians" It served as
a lesson for him in the future -Philadelphia
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Confusion OF Ideas.

Omaha Man-Seems tn me your face looks
familiar Amt you the dentist who pulled a
tooth for me in Blank Cityl
Stranger-I used to live in Blank City, but
am not a dentist. / was a justice Of the
peace for some years there.
"0hl now know. You are the man that
married me- Omaha World
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
TIE LIME KILN CLUB.
Literary Entertainment by Professor
Rainbow Harrison,

Rainbow Harrison.
AS soon as the meeting had opened and
Samuel Shin and Giveadam Jones had ceased
coughing, Brother Gardner blandly Observed:
HMy frens. desiah to remark dat we hab a
visitor in dc aunty-room. His cognomen ar
Professor Rainbow Harrison. an he halls
from de boundless stait of Tennessee. He am
on his way to Canady to sell patent rat
trap-a trap which cotches a rat, breaks his
neck, frows de body into de alley an sots
itself fur another-an' he stopped ober heah
on purpose to attend one of our meetin's an
deliber an essay. His essay ar betitled;
'What Win de Eand BeP He comes heah re-
commended in de highest manner as flewent
speaker, an he doan' mean to move on till he
has delibered his essay. As he am stoppin' at
my cabin, an as he kin git away wild mo- meat
an taters at one meal dan l kin at TO-, bev
thought it best to git him off my hands as
soon as possible. If he hangs aroun arter
speakin' his piece some of you had better
hint to de police dat he comes under de vag-
rant actn
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19

"Even our gallant commander was some
what disconnected at the idea of sailing up
cataract, but being man of infinite resource,
he reached down into the cabin of his craft,
and much to the surprise of the party,
dragged forth a pair of telegraph pole slip.
pers, donning which lie assembled the frozen
column of the Hilpowntomie Geyser with all
the agility of one accustomed to any or all
climes"-Nol. ", cap. 4, Lies Canoe Elk.
petition to Pixies Peak.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
THE LIFE OF LINCOLN,
BY HIS CONFIDENTLY SECRETARIES,
JOHN d. NICOLAY AND COLONEL
JOHN HAY.

Of President Lincoln, and continued und +
the authority Of his son, the Hon. Robert r.
Lincoln, is the only full and authoritative re-
cord of the life of Abraham Lincoln. Its
authors were friends OF Lincoln before his
presidency they were most Intimately asso-
ciated with him as private secretaries
throughout his term of uiilce and to II EN-
were transferred upon Lincnln's death all
his private papers. Here will be told the in
side history Of the civil war and OF President
Lneoln's administration, important details
of which have hitherto r. manned unrevealed,
that they might irst appear in tins authentic
history. BY reason of the publication oil
This work
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
A DtxeyhcatIon.

To avoid the embrace Of the fair Mrs Case,
Young English, you know, Win English, you
know;
Took a tug out to sea, resolved to be free
Twas English, young English, you knowl
New York World
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
THE WAR SERIES,

which has been followed with unfl'gging in
terest by great audience, will occupy less
space during the coming year. Gettysburg
will be described by Gen. Hunt (Chief Of the
Union Artillery, Gen. Lonsstreel, Gen. E. NJ.
Law, and Others Chickamauga, by Gen. d..
II. Hill Sherman's March to the Sea, BY
Generals Howard and Slncum. Generals @
a. Gilmore, Win. F. Smith. John Gibbon
Horace Porter and John S. Mosby will ce-
scribe special battles and incidents. Stories
Of naval engagements, prison life, etc, etc.
will appear.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
THE :. CENTURY
For 1886 81.

The CENTURY is an illustrated monthly
magazine, having regular circulation of
about two hundred thousand copies, often
reaching and sometimes exceeding two hun
its many attract ons for the coming year isl
serial which has been in active preparation
Tor sixteen years 1t is a history of cur own
country in its most critical time, as set forth
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
The Right Password, but the Wrong Smell

A Good Templar in Chico, Cal, got full
and went up to the lodge room in that con.
dition Ho knocked at the inner door and
gave the password to the guardian, who was
a MileSian and who had, with the mother wit
of his race, placed his nose to the wicket in
stead of his ear. He repeated tue word "Ab.
stinence" the second time and asked: "Dennis,
why doncher open 'er tloori Haint got the
right password.' AVIS, sor," bawled Dennis,
within hearing Of the whole lodge, "you do be
having the right password intirely, but, be
jabers, sor, yez hav the wrong shmell Port
land (Ore.l Mercury.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Circumstances Alter Cases

That tie administration of Justice Is often
affected by eXtraneouS circumstances is q
truth which becomes evident early in life,
The bright 6-year-old son Of genial clergy.
man of the historians acquaintance had been
engaged, with some of his friends, in wrong
doing, and he was called into the house under
circumstances that seemed ominoUs
"Did you get licked" inquired one of his
matter-of-fact companions the next day.
"Well, yes, I did" admitted the young
philosopher; ''but l should have got of all
right if thered been anything for supper tllaA
tathsr 'ilrsd "--Bostsp Record
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
NOVELS AND STORIES.

"'The Huudreth Man. novel by Frank r
Stockton, author of THE Lady,o or the Tiser?"
ETC.. begins it, November Two novelrttes by
G'oge w. Cable, stories by Mary Hallnck
Fonte, "Uncle Remus," Julian Hawthorne,
Edward Eggleston, aud other prominent
American authors will be printed during the
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
SPECIAL FEATURES.

(with ilustratolis) include series of ar
tioles on affairs Ia Russia and Siberia, by
Geutgr Kennan, author Of TENT Life in ST.
heria," who has just leturned from Doet
eventful visit to Siberian prisons papers on
the Food @ 'estlon, with reference to ItS
bearing ON the labor Problem; English
Ca he'd ais DR.. Eggleston's Religions Life
in the American Colonies Men and women
of Qnecn Aunr's Reign, by Mrs. olphant
Claii voyance, Spritualsm, AStrologv, etc.
by the Rev. J. NJ. Buckley, ID. D., editor OF
the Christian AdGOcGte astronomical papers,
articles throwing light on Bible history, etc.
PRICES. A FREE cory.
Subscription price, "a 90 year, 35 cents a
number Dealers, pOstmasters, and the pub.
fishers take subscriptions. Send for our
beautifully illustrated "a page catalogue
tfrer). containing full prospective, etc., III
cludlng a specie. offer by which new readers
can get back numbers to the beginning OF
the War Series at a very low i,Iica. A speci.
men copy (back numbrr) Will be sent on lie
quest. Mention this paper.
Can yoa GB0rd 10 be ioithout THE CENTURY
THE CENTURY co NEW YnRK.
The Labor enquirer., 1887-01-29
J Tho bocial League.

Pursuant to call from the chairman q
good number of the old guard of the So
cial League met at Neef's hall on Sunday
evening Comrade G. 0. Shove sx-
planned briefly in regard to absence Of
some of the League officers; some we're
In Mexico; others had temporarily alb
sented themselves from the city, etc.
Comrades Shove and Callahan were
elected respectively chairman and secre-
tary.
A provisional committe of five were
elected. programme being arranged,
short speeches were made by several OF
the comrades.
Suitable and appropriate programmes
will be made up for the future. Meets
hall. PAL Fifteenth street, has been se-
cuf ted as permanent meeting place.
An organ will be secured and the old
tim me enthusiasm WILSON be the feature
of the League. Next meeting tomorrow
Sunday) night at 7:30. All are, invited.
The Labor enquirer., 1887-01-29
pMARM rIIKm.

LAsslsa, Mich, Jan. 25.-Mr. Ogss'
labor bill, which Is aimed against the
imported Pinkerton. detectives. finally
passed the house unanimously. Inc
bill prohibits the sherifis from appoint.
ing any deputy who Is not citizen and
an elector Of the county wherein he Is
appointed.
The feeling that exists in this state
against the murderous Pinkerion thugs
ia sufficiently strong to procure the pas
cage by the general assembly OF q bill
similar to that referred 10 In the dis
patch quoted.
II Is the opinion Of all fair.minded
men that those hirelipg n urderers are
sure 10 bring on serious trouble II not
disumed.
Il ~ only q natural result-if jay
Gould and the coal and other corpora
tons aud monopolies can with impunity
hire their own private murderer, under
the name of detectives" & law and
life under the Constitution are farce.
IT. the money kings Of this country have
the right (which high constitutional AL
thoritv has decided asainst) TO hire and
equip an army Of mercenaries TO defend
. their money interests, why have the
toiiiug, sweating millions not right to
arm and defend their right to life and
liberty7 The majority Of The gene.
raj assembly OF tie state Of Colorado.
without doubt, believe thai an indus
trial system propped M bv Winchester
rifles 10 the hsnis Of Pinkerto on "detec'
tives," rests upon q foundation lacking
the qualities that will insure perman.
ence.
THIS question properly placed before
the.members Of the Colorado legislature
would and should receive prompt atten.
ton.
Before the next regular session there
may. N the Pinkerton thugs are not dis.
armed, occnr serious trouble between
the people and those hired murde rers
therefore. 1t would scem to be the part
Of wisdom to act In the sensible manner
the Michigan legislature did. II organ.
lied labor will look alive aud act at once
there may be a bill 10 disarm the thugs
passed easily.
The Labor enquirer., 1887-01-29
TT LOOKS CROOKED.

Whatever may be the merits or de-
merits Of the Interstate commerce bill
II is not for the X. of l.. legislative com
mlttee at Washington to decide.
Notwithstanding the fact that the bill
becomes useless. or nearly so. bv reason
Of the fact that the senate has the power
10 appoint the Commissioners" there
can be no doubt that the people.
Knights Of Labor more especially. de-
sire It's passage.
Though II remains practically inbper-
ative II establishes preceuent and Is an
admission by the rail kings that the
people have the right to control the
railroads.
There Is no question that the people
Of the west. the K. Of l.. especially, are
In favor Of the passage OF the Interstate
commerce bill vet three men In Wash
ington, claiming to speak in behalf Of a
million men, say to the president: IN
behalf Of our constituents we respect
fully request YOU to veto the Interstate
commerce bill"
Have taeir constituencies instructed
them " pursue any such courss' Thew
have perhaps received Instruction from
Mr.. Powderly. Then the question nat
urally arises: where did Mr.. Powderlv
fnd authority to so instruct?
The X. Of L. legislative committee"
have scted with extreme freshness In
this matter.
They may not. however, be a. fresh rs
they act There Is plenty Of "railros !
salt to be sprinkled on such ss they iu
Washington.
The Labor enquirer., 1887-01-29

A
Tss Colorado Cal and Iron COMPANY
have adopted . nov sch ,sns ~ \ substi'
tuts for their "Conspiracy Bill which
they failed 70 have passed a the last
ssssiou OF the Legislature. House Bill
o. for the purpess Of compelling the
militia men to attend ineetines and be-
come proficient j military taetics. ETC.
has been introduced by Representative
Shaw. Dr.. Grbsr. Of Pueblo, the man
who defeated the workinemens candi.
date. (by two votss.) is working tooth.
and-pail for "BiIl ss." The Colorado
Coal snd Iron company supported Gar
Der, and in return he supports the mill
Tia bill.
The Labor enquirer., 1887-01-29
United Labor Club.

An enthusiastic meeting Of the United
Labor Club was held at city hall on
Thursday evening. Speeches were
made bv Messrs. Strong. Lennon, Shove,
JAG kson and others.
The club unanimously endorsed and
recommended the passage Of house bill
'1l9, in the interest of the farmers who
are oppressed by the ditch companies.
A committee was also appointed to
wait on the members Of the senate and
house and inform them Of the action
taken. II
The United Labor Club will meet
nez I Sunday. January 30. at Neefs hall,
at 2.30 b. NJ. w