The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-12-08
.sCoAaE BACK WmHE1nrINAi.,
g. William Nye Takes an Ana sing Fan
Out OF the Servant Girl Question.

Bill Nye has an attack of the servant
girl and en1its this sorrowing screed:
DERSONAL-WILL THE YOUNG WOMAN
L who edited the gravy department and cor
and then jumped the game on the evening
that We were to have our clergyman to dine
BOW. saying where she left the crackers and an
cheese2
Come back, Wilhelmina, and be our
little sunbeam once more. Come back
and cluster around our hearthstone at
so much per cluster.
If you think best, we will quit hav-
ing company at the house. especially
people who do not belong to your set.
We will also strive, oh, so hard, to
make it pleasanter for you in every
way. If we had known four or FIVE
years ago that children were offensive
to you it would have been different.
But it is too late now. All we can do
now is to shut them up in barn and
feed them through a knot-hole. If
they shrek loud enough to give pain
to your throbbing brow, let no one
know, and we will overcome any false
and send them to the Tombs.
Since you went away we can see how
wicked and selfish we were and how
little we considered your comfort.
We miss your glad smile, also your
Tennessee marble cake and your slat
pie. We have learned a valuable les
son since you went away. and it is
that the blame should not have rested
on one alone. 1t should have been di-
vided equally, leaving me to bear half
of it and my wife the other half.
Where we erred was in dividing up
the blame on the basis of tenderloin
steak or peach cobbler, compelling you
to bear half of it yourself. This will
not work Wihelmina. Blame and pre-
serves do not divide up on the same
basis. We are now in favor of what
may be called a sliding scale. We
think you will like this better.
We also made great mistake in the
matter of nights out. While young,
formed the wicked and pernicious
habit of having nights out myself. ]
painted for the night air, and would
60 long distance and st y out long
time to get enough of it for a mess and
then bring it home in paper bag, but
can see now that it is time for me tt
remain indoors and give young peo-
like yourself chance, Wilhelmina.
So if / can do anything evening.
! while you are out that will assist you
SUCA do AoAoAAAS VA
| ing windows, command me. l am nc
cook, of course, but can peel apples
or grind coffee. or hold your head fol
you when you need sympathy. IcoulC
| also soon learn to do the plain cook
| ing, think, and friends who come tt
see US after this have agreed to bring
| their dinners.
There is no reason why harmon.
| should not be restored among US anC
| the old sunlight come back to our roo
| tree.
Another thing wish to write before
| I close this humiliating personal.
| wish to take back my harsh and bite
words about your singing. said tina
| you sang like a single mill, but wa
| mad when ! said it, and I wronget
| you. was maddened by hunger ant
| you, told me that mush and milk wa
the proper thing for a brain worker
and YOU refused to give me any dop
on my dumpling. Goaded to madnes
by this l said that you sang like
single mill, but it was not my better
higher nature that spoke. 1t was m,
grosser and more gastric nature tina
asserted itself and now desire to tax
it back. You do not sing like a shin
gle mill; at least SO much as to mis-
lead practical ear.
Your voice has more volume, an,
when your upper register is closed
mellower than any shingle-mill eve
heard.
Come back, Wilhemina. We nee
you every hour.
After you went away we tried to Sc
the bread as we had seen you do il
but it was not g success. The mex
day it came off the nest with lite
of small, sallow rolls which would
easily resist the action of acids.
If you cannot come back, will vol
please write and tell me how you arr
getting along and how you contrive t.
insert air-ho1es into homemade bread
l-BtU Nye.