The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-04-27
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
detroit Free Press.J

For some weeks past Shinbone Smallman
and Hardluck Johnson have engaged in an
enmity which babe fair to end in bloodshed.
1t came about through dispute on a bib
lical question. Shinbone said that he didn't
believe any bears came out and ate up the
children who shouted after Elisha. Hard
luck replied that any man who disputed
the statement was either a fool or an athe-
list, and thus the gulf opened. Several mu-
tual friends have sought to arbitrate, but
Shinbone was firm and Hardluck was de-
termined. They ignored each others ex-
istence, and their wives and children made
faces at each other over the fence. 1t had
been whispered around all the week that
Brother Gardner would bring abouta recon
ciliation at the Saturday night session, and
every face in the hall was turned toward
him as be arose and said
"How much we know dat we doan'
know tall an kin neber find Quit De aiv-
erage man will bet mo- money on his ig-
norance dan on his true knowledge, an he
will fight for lie as soon as de troof. 1 see
Brudders Smallman and Johnson back oar
by de huted column. Boat OF EN- will please
retrograde TO de 'front.'"
The two gentlemen named INDUCED In
two magnificent starts of surprise, gritted
their teeth at each other and advanced to
the presidents desk in single file.
''Shinbone," said Brother Gardner, when
they stood before him, do you believe de
bars ate up de chilpen dat followed
'Lisha?'
mo, sah."
why doan' your"
"kdse doan'."
"Hardluck. do you believe de bars ate
de chilren up?"
''Yes, sah.''
'sWhy do you believe it2''
"Kase do"
81 expected dis was de case. Fools an
bigots believe bekase dey believe. 1t
hain't bekase dey have sense an reason
on DER side, but simply bekase dey have
made up DER minds to a sartin thing
One of you believe de bars ate up de
chilPen bekase you've heard so. De odder
one wort believe it bekase he didn't
see it done. Now dis ere fulishness
has got to stop 1t has got to stop right
yere an now! Hold out yer paws to each
odder. Now shake. Now go an sot down,
an when you go home arter de meetln'
tell your wives dat de match has bin de-
clared off an de country am safe. Bylaw
6,491 forbids any disputes on religus sub
ieks. You have laid yerselves liable to a
fine of $13, COO cash, an if you don't walk
powerful straight fur de mex six months
sunthin will happen to upset yer peace OF
mind,
HE MEANT IT.
The two members returned to their seats
and began to smile and whisper to each
traded jack-knives and exchanged gum.
''I should like to ask de Char" said the
Rev. Penstock, as he arose, If he meant
to use de expreshun he did Of: Please ret
rograde to de front?
"De Char did, sahl"
"Yes-um-yes Retrograde to de 'front.'"
stDat's what i said, sab, an de Char
meant it! II de Char had meant for 'em
to disrupt to de rear he would have said so.
What am de pint you wish to raiser"
'Dat de expresshun was not classically
nor dramatically correct"
"Brudder Penstock, you sot down, an
doan you be ober TO- minits sittin' darl
Dis club doan' do business on de CLASH
cally nor dramatically basis. We seek to
speak so plainly dat eberybody kin under
stan. Bout de time we orter hev bin in
college, bitin' off hull hunks of wisdom
from de branches of de tree Of eddecashun,
we was handlin' de cotton hoe an workin'
in de sugar-cane, an we isn't to blame fur
it. Yes, sab, sot right down, an stay sot,
an de seckretary will enter fine of S. ,O0O
agin you fur disturbin' de harmony OF de
meetin'.
HAVEN'T HEARD OF IT.
A communication from Toronto stated
that the writer had seen the statement n
print that the colored people of the North
were leaving the Methodist Church in
great numbers and becoming Presbyteri
ans, and he would like to inquire OF the
Lime-kiln Club the occasion for such 9
move.
Sir Isaac Walpole said he was totally
ignorant of any such movement. The only
person who had left the Methodist pastor
ate to which he belonged was colorec
man with a wooden leg and one eye out and
he had been churched for having too init
mate acquaintance with his neighbors
wood piles.
WaydOwn Bebee, who passes the collec
ton box in a Methodist congregation
hadn't heard of any stampede. His church
was constantly gaining in membership, anC
the only lost lambs consisted OF two mem
bers who tried to steal the stove out OF the
basement.
Whalebone Hovker, who is a anitor in
a Methodist church edlice, pronounced
the statement "uueventually false in ev
cry particular. There was no hegira from
the Methodist church, aud there was moth
ing wrong with the Methodist religion.
81 guess de hull biZness ar what de white
folks call kenard" observed the presi
dent, as he rose up to cut OFF further de
bate. "Ds GULF d man who can't gi5 Ion.
wild de Methodist or Baptist religun am s
pusson who orter be watched wild boa
eyes. De SECRETARY will brand de state
ment as a kens-d, but thank de gen'lan
for his interes' in our race"
SI0DT YETED I'M Dads