The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-11-27

otLcf JOllN cuulttNs- no NNNlph"i
Frugality Also Shows Itself.
There have been published number Of
books containing specimens Of Scottish wit
and humor, aud some of these specimens
are striking and Characteristic. but contain
hut very little Of the fun aud iollity which
ChamCtcriycs the Wit ui moro genial and
impossible people. \ hard common
sense seems to undCrlic them, and they
seldom excite hearty laugh. The Scotch
have ALWAYS felt hard toward sydney
Smith lor saying. 1T requires u surgical
operation 10 get u Joke we'll into Scotch
understanding Among the many vol.
umcs published Hrc two 10y DR. Ramsey,
dean oi Edinburgh, from which many ol
the following anecdotes are taken
IN old shoemaker oi Glasgow was NJ
one time sitting 10y the bedside of his wilt,
who was diving. She said. "Nvcl, Johnny,
we're gavin to part I've been n guide
wife t. you, John. - ooh, just middlmp,
Just middlmg, Jenny, hc replied fearing
| he might commit himself. John shc
| continued, eve maun promise tp bury me
/ IN the old kirkyurl ut Stm' ven beside my
I mithcr. ! ruuldna rest Ia peace among
mcn i,ik In the dirt and smoke ul elias
gov. "Wccl, wccl, Jenny said John,
| snoihingly, 'Wc'll just put We IN the Cor.
halls first, and gin yr dlnna lie quiet lhcr
wen try YOU sine IN sta ven
The old ill.lrcling existing between Eng.
| land and Scotland is often shown In the
| Scotch anecdotes. IN Englishmnn was
| once grumhling against the land ~ cakes.
| said he: "Nu man ul taste would even
| think ol remaining any length al time IN
| such q country as Scotland "Iusirs dii.
| Ter. 90 replied q Scolchmln. "l'll tnk yc Ia
/ q place ca'rd lhnuockhurn, not lar lpc
/ stirling, whcrc thplty thousand a. ycr
ciuutrymcn hn' hvcn ior jn years, uu
| they've uap thovht ~ lcaNin vet
\ north country droNCr passing through
Carlisle ON his return from q rather IN
profitable Journey, raw a notice stuck NJ
offering reward Ia amy one who Wuul,
act ~ CNcCutiuucr upon noted crininI
thpg under death sentence. The drpyrl
| volunteered his sDtNicrs, hanged W.,
rogue aud gul llit Zee. The mob called
him u mean, bogparly Scot. who hal don,
| iur money what no Englshnnn would dn
/ "l'll hang yc NJ the same price, replied
| Donald with gtin, ~ hr counted the
money ia hi pouch.
\ Young man, When coming ont al
church, lrud accidentally uu the iuUt ul nr
old gentleman, and hc hustcncd Ia upulo
| yilc, saying II am very SONY, sir ! hcl
/ Your pardon
Nm we've mucklc need sir. WIS ih,
only Response lum the uld gentleman.
4 man went Ia the house ri ncpihul
Ia g'i him Ia indurc note iur him. tn,
nrighhu refused, saving III | was Ia PIT
my name lill't Sc wal git the sillrr imc thi
hank. and when the time canc round y,
Wndnn b. ready. nnd ! wal lea IA pay't
-ar then You aud me wad quarrel, Me- ",
nnc just ~ wei quarrel the moo ~ lang.
the Nllcr's IN my pouch.
The cLildlrra Duke IT Aih0l encourage
one at his Cuitpri. whose wife had iusi pr
srntrd him with twins, hy saving "Wcrl
Donald, yc ken ihc Almighty never send
. hlius without the meat. Donald o.
spundcd, duubliullv "fhat NAV bc, YOU
| grace. but whites I think prpyid,.c,
makes mistake in thu thnr matters and
-cnds the bnins 10 ne houso and the mca
to uniihcr.'
\ guod dune coming NJ Ia Eliuhurpl
ww Tor W." iint time water cart lpl
spdnkling the nrris She cried uut {,
the driver Man, yoU spillin' q th,
WuipE'
Another lady Who was greatly annuyr,
NJ railway station because her box Wu
not forthcoming WIS told io have palicnrr
when her indignant exclamation Wm- OF
can bear uny paintings that may hc Dt'r'
lur IN Coils providence, but ! Gamma stan
parting lmo my clacz.
IA old lAdy r"nt ipr hrr medical advice
h. consult with him concerning q Hur
ihrult, Madam said the doctor. oil
used a. b. troubled with the same Kind ~
sUrr throat, bat I allowed my bcnrl M,
muusiachc ~ grow, and have not br,i
troubled since with IT, - wrcl, Wrpl
that may bc fic; bat " maun pp-rfib
some other WAY iur me a. GIT quit NJ ~.
nir throat, fpr sou Ken. dorior ! cnu
adopt that cuw, replied the old lady
Many NJ the most striking sayings h.
hong iu those called half vittrd "nni
win Spoir' WIS once discovered by No,
lnh ri Egliuton making shoH en-
through hs grounds Come back ~ sli,
the cnh Ia him. that's not the runl
"Dp yc ken Nlnr I'm pun? asked viii
"NO.' replied The earl. "Ncrl, hoo th
dc'il du yc ken whether this b. the roW
~ nor
One winter nn uld lady lay very ill,
friend wa. trying ~ encourage her by cN
pressing the hope that she would sppn h
better. and In the spring enjoy some a
their country spring butter "Sprng but
ter. exclaimed lhc invalid. "by that TIM
I will b. bultcring in heaven And Whcl
u the point Ol death. she heard some on
say cher lncc hns lust H. color. II grow
like sheet II paper" Then I'm SUR
mhun be- broom paper" said ihc dyin
woman.
Mis- Johnsi0nr was q famous ccccniri
character Ol the last century. \ trrmun
douH thunderstorm came on when she WI
dying. She listened Ia the tempest, m,
remarked ~ quaint manner, Ech, Mn.
what n nicht ~ be- ilccm' through IN
air. %
During the last century one Of the grca
distinguishing Scotch characteristics WI
the rigidiy with which the observance q
the sabbath WIS inculcatcd. An Englis
artist, while making tour IN Scotland, n
manned In a small town over Sunday, and
~ pass the time, walked out IN IA
enyirons, aud seeing the picturesque ruin