Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-21
9HE LATEST DODGE.
Keep Good Lookout for the Ink
Eiend.

/
Eiend.
| The fools are not all dead yet, and no
matter how often the confidence game is
| played, or how publicly it is exposed,
/ there are always willing victims to be
! found ready for the sacrifice.
savannah, like other places, has not
| been exempt from the infection, and yet
her experience has neither brought wis
dom nor engendered caution.
men she got bit she merely felt for
| Tune bitter, and swore in the bitterest
sort OF female swear that she'd never be
| caught again. Not shell too old bird TO
! De lnVelgied into trap, but, like sea-
sickness or collaborating, she forgot all
about 1t within the interstices of a single
moon, and tell again, and again got
caught. and swore, and kept getting
| caught, and still continues, notwith-
standing all her heroic resolutions and
Vaclllating determination, victim.
ABOUT ten days ago a very natty-look-
ing youth, with modest demeanOr,
stovepipe hat and drummer-looking
countenance, invaded the business
| premises of every mercantile firm in
the city, mine amongst the rest.
He was dressed up either to kill or to
conquer, and looked as if he had been
freshly turned out of some ready-made
| clothing establishment for advertisement
| purposes. His style was good, il not at
tractlye-neither too b0ok-agenJy nor pre-
umptuous-besides, he displayed none
OF the paraphernalia the petite satchel)
so suggestive OF spectacle vendors, corn
| cutters, Dunlon eradlcators or peripa-
| tetie medicine men to awaken distrust.
here was no protrusion OF book or
| pettlcoat, or mlzen staysail or pair OF
| captivating hazel eyes on celluloid
background, with ruinaton trimmings,
to lure you to subscriptions or destruc-
| ton, but simply a well-got-up youth of
| probably - or % healthy summers, whose
| mission might be busineSs-real estate,
| puts and calls, cotton futures or Cen
| trails.
| Alasl the delusion vanished, when, like
! Mrs. harrington, he opened his mouth
land put his foot In it, tor he talked
nothing but ink; his expectoratlons and
| perorations were ink. Their establish
ment, the great Century Ink" manufac-
! tory, beat anything in creation for mag
nitude. ArnOld's ink was ignoble black
Ing compared to their inimitable glossy
| atratentum. The fellow got classic, and
| the Ink ftend spread himself like Waiter
son on an editorial bust until my brain
| got into an Edisonian cloud, and Ben
| Butler, Eli Perkins, Simon Cameron, and
! the ghost OF Logan appeared before me
upon the walls all around about and
above in unmistakable silhouettes, and
| the tiend waXed fat and eloquent upon
| INK, while the tortured wretch who
! listened, to preserve himself from paraly-
| sis, had to tortity his nerves by taking
| pull at some medicine or other which was
labeled quinine, but had a very sus-
| picious flavor of Hennessy.
With a je ne sails quoi sort of an air ne
informed US that this great firm had their
| headquarters in Poughkeepsie, and had
| determined, even at the cost of several
| hundred thousand dollars, to secure the
entire trade of the South, and for this
| purpose they would give gratis to every
| merchant, banker and stOrekeeper
throughout the South quart bottle of
| their unsurpassing fluid. He had already
arranged with Messrs. Cooper IL Co.,
Fretwell & Nichols and Byck g. SeIig to
| sell their Century INK" and to make easy
! work for their agents he took this method
| of drumming up the fiuid-the price
at the agents would be 75c.-but for this
sample quart there would be no charge
whatever, unless, indeed, che cost of ex-
| pressage, which would be merely nomi-
| nal sum, only a few cents, omething about
| quarter-at any rate not more than
| SOC. or Soc. This seductive douceur is to
| populariZe the ink, and will be to our
| firm less expensive and more effective
| than advertising all over the Union.
| Well, MIR. Editor, to get rid of this very
| pIduslDle anu 5euuCtlN6 yUubD VINO man
| aged to rope you in without either the ac-
cessories of petticoats, languisning looks
| or cerulean eyes to attract or excuse,
| and considering that at the most but 30c.
| or Doc. were involved, l gave him my
| card, signed my sign manual, and in the
most polite manner possible babe him
| goodby, wishing him, soto voce, at
the ID.
The magnificent gratuity of the Gen.
fury ink man has come TO hand?
The bottle has all the longitudinal ap-
| pearance and capacity of those Vichy
| jugs one may pick up at any time at the
| back gates of pretentious residences
| where matutinal reviver5 are required.
] The size seems all right, but there is a
| suspicious, seedy look about both it and
| the individual who brings it, and requires
35c. for eXpressage, so much so that L
| made him sign his name across the label.
| 1t ls exceeding Frenchy Shee-han. There
| is an attempt at wax, with a thumb i'm
preston, and the label is both tawdry
and Bowery-like, and looks as If it had
been feloniously distracted from some
| other bottle. The tout ensemble is any
thing but reputable or mercantile.
There was no difficulty in drawing the
abortion of a cork, and having cleaned
| out all my inkeries to introduce the Gen.
| tury-there came-whO was the fellow
| that Observation-Disclosures of Pluto! Ghost
of Caperariusl there came, with that
rivuletic sound that charms the ear,
delightful p flow ot-none of your black
looking stuff-pure, genuine, undiluted,
unauthorized aqua-and nothing more
this and nothing else, nothing more. No
amount of shaking could raise even the
color or suspicion of ink-all was water,
| water, water.
Thank heaven, there are some hundreds
of my fellow citizens in the same box-or
suppose so-and we can therefore afford
| TO laugh or be laughed at. Let me, how
| ever, suggest to this fraud, who halls
| from Poughkeepsie, TO change the name
of his fluid TO that OF
''THE ARTEsIAN INK"
PAUL PRY.