, 1887-01-13
EuN Ar WEDDINGS.
Some of the GrotesQue Mistakes That Cc-
cur at Suptial Ceremonies.

other work. There are times when I
have difficulty in. keeping my counte-
nance straight, and of course you
wouldn't like TO be laughed at by the
minister Just as he was about to join
YOU solemnly in wedlock with the lady
you loved. The most trying time l
ever had was when l was young in the
ministry, and when had not such con-
troll over my keen sense of the ludi-
crous as l have since acquired. | was
located at HoultOn, Me. One day a
couple drove over from Woodstock,
\. B., and when they arrived in the
village began inquiring for Il minister
Some Of the mischief-Ioving boys got
hold of them, and took them down to
the market, where they were placed on
exhibition and piled with all sorts of
ridiculous questions, 10 the great
amusement of the crowd. and without
embarrassment TO themselves, for they
were too green to appreciate the joke.
Finally, after everybody had had his fill
of fun, the bride and groom were
escorted TO my house by a few of the
most miSchievous of the crowd. 1t was
all l could do to keep from roaring
when they entered, but / felt that I
must maintain my dignity, not only for
the sake of the bride and groom, but
because some of the young men pres
ent were members of my congregation,
and if yielded to my feelings then
might have difficulty restraining my
self when faced them from the pulpit.
The woman was the tallest. most awk-
ward, and most fantastic female ever
saw. She was six feet and two inches
high, and dressed in all the bright
colOred toggery she could get on, with
out regard TO harmony or stvle of
make. But one article struck NE so
forcibly and was thrust on my atten-
ton so prominently that L forgot all
the other details. She had 4 hand
which came nearly answering the de-
scription 'aS large rs 4 goldfish, and
these were inclOsed in q pair of thick
yarn mittens, which made every finger
look as big as potato. These gloves
were 4 marvel. They were striped,
red and white, the stripes running
lengthwise the finger, while on the
back of each hand she had worked, in
coarse yarn. what she thought was
some sort of 4 flower, into which she
had wrought every improbable color
that a grOtesque imagination could
picture. The man was a diminutive
half-breed, Indian and French, and he
had no vest or collar on, and his pants
were held up by lumberman's leather
belt, fastened with an old, rusty iron
buckle. | managed to get through the
ceremony. toweYer, and relieved nv
feelings after they had gone.
Il remember q bashful fellow who
came to nv house with his girl to get
married. lie was so bashful that l
pitied him. lie was absolutely over
whelmed-paralyzed, L ought to say.
lie came into the parlOr with his hat
on, and did not remove it once, despite
all the hints that his bride and I gave
him. said all the assuring things
could, and tried to engage him and his
lady in conversation. but he was so
abashed that he could neither answer
nor move. limited that he stand be-
side his lady, but he was so frightened
that he did not understand. Finally,
in despair, said quietly and privately
TO the bride: If you Will take your
place beside the groom / will marry
you,' and when she approached him it
seemed absolutely to startle him with
new fright.
"One young man, who came on the
same errand, was struck with curiosity
the moment he entered the house. He
absolutely ignored his bride, while he
wandered about the parlor, scrutiniz-
ing in a wondering way every picture,
every book, ornament, and piece of
furniture in the room. The bride sat
and blushed, while | tried to call his
attention to the business of the moment,
but he kept on, and it was more than
fifteen minutes before l could get the
two corraled near enough together to
marry them.
Il married queer couple once, o
short time before / came to Boston.
The man had just entered upon his pro-
fession, which we will call that of
physician, and had determined upon
his place of settlement. The young
lady, a bright, intelligent, well-cdu-
Gated girl, who knew the ways of So
ciety. had made up her mind that she
would marry doctor, and finally she
had brought matters round in 4 quiet,
wOmanly way to the point of his asking
Tor her hand and heart, and Of course
she yielded. The acquaintance had
been astonishingly brief. They were
hardly acquainted when | was sum.
poncd to marry them. lie was very
s!IilIful and devoted TO his profession,
viii Il ne had mastered well for young
mar in theory and practice. But he
knew less of the WAYS of the world and
customs of social life than any other
man ever met. He was on the point
of starting for his new home the very
next day after the marriage, and, with
the utmost uuconcern regarding the
propriCtieS of the occasion, had packed
up all his apparel ready for the journey.
He was stopping at the house of
friend. who, ut the last moment, late
in the afternoon. discovered that the
bridegroom did not have a change of
linen to dress with. Hurried conSulta-
tionS were had, and his hostess, with 4
woman'S readiness for emergencies,
took the measure of his collar and
waist, went down just as the stores
were about 10 close, and purchased the
desired articles. which the bridegroom
accepted with the utmost equahimity
and as if the articles were not of much
consequence anyway. They went
away. and in few days the bride wrote
a letter TO one of her friends. in which
she remarked with charming naiyete:
We had i good. pleasant journey, and
/ found my husband to be quite enter
taining. ] think | shall ike him first
rate when l get acquainted with him.
The license question often causes
embarrassment to COUPLES about to we'd
honeymoon was over. They came in
on the evening train, went to one OF
the best hotels, and, as they intended
to hc married that evening, registered
as man and wife. They went to their
room. brushed off the dust and other
wise made themselves presentable, and,
having found cut that l was a clergy
man, came TO my residence to have the
ceremony performed. Upon my ask
lag for their papers. they :irst made the
discovery that license was necessary.
| was perfectly satisfied from the docu-
ments they had with them, as well as
from their personal appearance, that
they were all right, but of course had
no legal right to marry them. The as
tonished hotel clerk probably never
knew why separate rooms were called
for on their return, especially as there