The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-10-26
HOW TO RUN a RAILROAD.
What Disgruntled Editor Overheard In .
Railway Presidents Once.

for some time. Among other things
I noticed was a large sign reading:
Editors don't pass here" 1t brought
to mind the fierce and whitening infu-
ences of the Interstate Commerce
law. and l stopped and wept silently.
While thus giving way to my grief l
heard earnest conversation in the office
and looked in the door. The presi-
dent of the road was conversng with
one Of the superintendent.
"I.ct me see," said the president;
you took enough timber out OF the
Roaring creek bridge and those two
culverts to rebuild that bridge where
The train dropped through last week."
30, yes, and had lot left. replied
the superintendent.
Just have what was left sent up to
my house-it'll come in handy next
winter for kindling-wood. By the
way, you had better Tighten up all the
bridges little-they were built alto
gether to heavy at first
pm doing SOL don't put any
thing heavier than two by-fours in any
of the new bridges. I have new
scheme for heavy timbers on large
bridges"
whats thalp"
II take four inch boards and nail
them together, making what appears
to be a timber six-by-six, or larger, ac-
cording to the width of the boards.
Hollow-great saving of timber, you
see!'
'Y-a-e-s, that S so, replied the pres
ident as he put his feet up on the
waste basket; "but inch boards, you
say, inch boards-what about half
inch?"
They would probably be better
you've managed railroads longer than
have"
"And you nail 'em together con-
tnued the president, as he appeared to
be lost in thought. You know nails
are expensive
Eyes; we might glue 'em at the cor
ners."
That's more like tor seems to me
if they were put up together that they
would be apt to stay-might sort OF
wedge 'em little at the ends some
how. Mebby you better use glue, how
ever-the public likes to see things
good and strong
'Yes; we got to cater to the public
little"
"Of course Don't want 'em to get
into the habit of walking. By the way.
they seem to be getting struck on iron
bridges"
Eyes, I've noticed ii. :"
well. any thing to please EN-"
said the obliging president 81 told
our chief engineer to bring in plan
for bridge intended especially for the
public to stand and look at and lose it.
self in admiration. 1t is to be of heavy
sheet iron. but / fear the style will be
altogether too expensive"
20, yes, it would-got to think Of
something cheaper than that"
II have little plan here of a bridge
which made myself" continued the
president as he drew paper out of Il
private desk. "You will observe that
it is made wholly of tin, hollow tin
tubes. painted vigorous and power
ful black"
That's good" said the superintend-
ent. beginning to get enthusiastic,
that's first-rate. Still little costly
though. tell you the ideal railroad
bridge must be made out of paper
very cheap, and when properly paint
ed has a regular notwithstanding
look"
YOU'RE right there, papers the
thing, and I'd have introduced bridges
of it on our line long ago if it wasn't
for their liability to ali soak up and
collapse every time it rains"
They'd have to be vanished to pre-
vent that. and there comes the matter
of expense again"
'Yes, that the wayi goes, expense
at every turn. l tell you, the truly
ideal way to run a railroad, if it could
be arranged" continued the president,
as he Strengthened up, would be to
have the locomotive when it comes to
river or ravine get up on its hind
wheels and jump it and jerk the train
right along, Yes, sir, and l believe
the time is coming when they will do
it. too-run like thunder before they
come to place where we now have a
bridge, and when they get there they
will + ar right up and snort a couple
of times and clear the thing at one
jump, and jerk thirteen coaches behind
en-! tell you there would be little
money for the stockholders-and presi-
dents and experimentation with
no bridges to build at all"
THAT would be big thing, sure
enough" replied the superintendent
THE railroad man would have little
show them"
by the way-how are the car stoves
about time for 'em, you know?"
They're in bad shape-most of them
ripped up the back"
%. that's nothing-wire em up.
wire 'em up. Got to make 'em last
another winter. And say, you better
have personal interview with each
county coroner where our road runs
and give 'em little stock-can't tell
when we may need to use them. And
just give them to understand that we