The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-05
BRIGHT BITS.


TIE ice cream season is now open, and the
young man will henceforth promenade with his
best girl on the back streets, where ice cream
signs never appear. -DdnSUHIe Breeze.
WRITING letter is to many people, an irk-
some task; but 1t isn't half so kSolhe as 1t is to
hear lawyer reading your letter aloud five
years afterward in open court-JOurndt of Ed
ttcdtton
81 DO not know who you are, and you
have no claim upon me; why do you ask me to
give you S5t'
Because have Just Joined the Anti-Poyerty
Society. boston Gazette.
TAI.mAGE says that ''the man who can sing
and won't sing should be sent to Sing Sing"
That would be too severe. 1t is the man VINO
can't sing and will sing who should be sent to
Sing ing.-Norristot1it Herald.
WHAT a dreadful bowling the cats are max
ing tonight, dear"
lit isn't the cats love. It's the young gentle
man in the other fat practcing his violin solo
for the charity concert. n-TotCt TORIES.
"BY JovE! Look here Miss Slashby escaped
from her hotel at Nice In her nightgown. She
must have looked awfully bare. y
Yes, but I'll bet dollar she didn't look half
so bare as she does in her ball dress. "-Totcn
Topics.
FIRST BRoKER-I understand the Great Day
Mining Company has passed the first dividend.
Second Broker-Passed its dividend? Dear
boy, the concern has never yet been able to
burg Chronicle.
"CHAR1IEr' she called across the car, ibid
you ever see King?"
'''of course, replied the young man.
And were they grand?"
Not very-not near as grand as four aces
Detroit Free Press.
SAID jenkins: "My duty ought not to dodge:
To stay from my lodge isn't right"
Said his wife: But whenever you go out to
lodge,
You manage to lodge out all night"
Washington Critic.
II ALWAYS thought they were such nice peo-
pie. And they actually walked in Central Park. ="
You don't mean il -
81 saw them with my own eyes. Do you won
der that lieut. them:"
Not at all. =" IL
Resolves to do it herself-Totcn Topics.
BEBE AT THE TABLE" Haven t Ibeen very ODE
dent, mamma, and done just what you told
me!'
YES, my dear, you have been very good"
well mamma if do whatever you say, tell
me you want me to take another piece of cake"
-French Paper.
FEMININE DIpIoMACY-'I cannot understand
my dear, why it is that you, who have such an
| excellent man for a husband, should quarrel
with him so often"
Don't you? Well, it is because he always
brings me home present at night to make up.
See?"-French Fun.
Mr. ALGERSoN (the young 'squire)-May
have the honor of waltz with you, Mrs. Nc
Clusty?
Mrs NJ (of the home farm, heavy weight
Weth pleasure, sir. Shall we OPP it or slide it.
Mr.. Algernon-l think we'd better slide (which
it's less fatiguing for the bulky!-Ptnch,
MAGIsTRATE-A little difficulty between ladies,
chr Has the complainant been sworn?
Plaintiffs Lawyer--Not yet.
Magistrate is your age, madam?
| The mplainant-Nineteen.
| Magstrate-Now will you swear to tell the
| truth, the whole truth, hilddelphiG Call.
| / AM going to a ball,
Baby mine, baby mine,
Don't you dare put up the squall,
Baby mine, baby mine
| Dad will stay at home with you,
| He will spank you if you do
Spank you till you're black and blue,
| Baby mine, baby mine.
| -LogGnsDort Chronicle.