davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
HUMOROUS

Concealing the truth-Lying in am bush.
 Men much run after-Fugitives from justice.
 When the sardine gets caught he very soon finds himself Tn box.
 They call him Buffalo Bills now, for he has 800, 900 onc-dollar ones.
 The mother with twin boys knows what it is to toll from son to son.
 What is that which nobody wants, and nobody likes to losca-A lawsuit. When a physician loses hi, skill it naturally follows that he is out of prac- ticc.
 'I'n take the responsibility" as Jenks said when he held out his arms for the baby.
 A pretty child smiliugly asked her mother why fish are so full of splintcrs.
 We send i, 900, 900 barrels apples every year to foreign nations, and won't take any ''sass" in return either.
 On seeing house beng whitewashed, small boy of threo wanted to know if it was going to be shaved.
 It is very appropriate In writing let ter to fashionable physician to make the address: My dear doctor"
 Clara-"How did you enjoy the opera last evcningW Lucy-'It was splendid. had the nobbiest hat in the house." "Tight money" murmurcd the unfor- tunatc in tho police court as he paid tho usual fine and costs. Il Boston Bulletin. First Burglar-Wot'll I do with this burglar alarm, Bill, take it along7 Sec ond Burglar--Yes, slip it in the bag. We can get something for it.
 "Jcnny," said little girls mother, "why don't you be good9" Yes, mamma, but it is hard to be good, and l can be bad without trying" 2 Philosophers. tell us that we should know one thing we'll. Among tho medical fraternity, however, it pays better to know many things i'll.
 The man who moves down lifes path and finds it strewn with sweet surprises is he who knows just how it's done, who keeps astore and advertises.
 Miss Noon is the rame of an Ohio school ma'am. She is quite popular with her scholars, but would be more so if h 2 name were Miss Four-o clock PM
 "We don't care for tho rain," said one Baltimore girl to another, as she raised an umbrella; ''we're neither sugar nor salt" "No," replied the other, "but we're lasscs."
 In silks and satins and lace,
 With winsome manners and grace,
 With magnificent eyes and face,
 A child of a noble race,
 She was the belle of the ball.
 A mouse ran over the floor,
 And then made bolt for the door,
 A scream, and a shriek, and roar!
 Heard over ten miles or more,
 That was the bawl of the belle.
 -[Goodalls Sun.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Home. Made Sausage for Dyspepsia.

"Everything I eat in the morning dis. agrees with me, doctor," remarked a patient few days ago. 'It has come to point at last when, if I take any solid food before noon, it becomes a source of heavy discomfort"
 "Have you ever tried home made saul sage s''
 ''No; why never could digest that, doctor; it IS too greasy"
 "Well, perhaps so," was my answer, ''but as some really good results have shown up lately from its use, 1 would like you to try it."
 And, sure enough, says Dr. w. F. Hutchinson in the American Magazine, the highly seasoned fatty food was quietly digested, and proved just the required morning meal. It is worth trying in every case of forenoon dys- pepsia when ordinary diet fails.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

boy, but remember it we'll. Ahl now see why your face seemed so familiar to me. Mademoiselle La Fonte, you and I ought to be good friends" A
 1T will do my part,' said Valerie, warmly. .....ts.
 And the count, having taken her hand in his, found occasion to hold it awhile. f
 Valerie was much happier now that she had found friend among her own countrymen. The long evenings slipped by quite gaily. The count took her to the opera, and they had many pleasant jaunts together.
 It was one morning in February that Mrs. Duncan called upon mademoisello to announces to her that her services would be no longer required as gov erness.
 '1 cannot offer any encouragement to any young woman who behaves as you do," said the lady, finally.
 Valerie was utterly taken back; but before she could reply, tall, courtly figure appeared in the doorway. It was the count himself.
 "Madam," he said, lowing, 'tho future Countess de Beaupre has no fur ther need of your patronage"
 ''Countess de Beaupre!' was all she could gasp. !
 And Valerie soon found hersels standing alone, bewildered, in tho middle of the room, while the man she loved was holding her hand and saying, tenderly:
 "Valerie, darling, you will let mo verify that statement-will you not2 I love you with all my heart. Will you take it, and my title and mel I want you so badlyw
 And as for Valerie, it could not have been "no' that she answered, for two months later, at the Hotel Valentine, in Paris, were registered the names of the Count and Countess de Beaupre. II Sat- urday night.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Peculiarities of the Oyster.

The oyster is the earliest of all trav. >lers, probably, for his travels begin be. forc he was matched. The egg or em.' bryo from which the young oyster is developed Is provided at first with so- called cilia or vibrating hairy projection, number of which give the infant oyster swift movement through the waters.
 This lively journey continues until the little oyster strikes bed of similar oys. ;ers already formed, or else, if he is not fortunate enough to find companions, a rock or solid substance of some kind. There the egg of tho oyster clings, dc. yeloping, with the others it has found, or with those who come along aftcrward and find it, until it is full grown.
 As every female oyster lays from fifty to sixty thousand eggs in season, it is not surprising that it seems almost impossible to exhaust the oyster-beds. The consumption of oysters is enormous. Immense quantities are shipped from certain beds along the Atlantic coast throughout eight months of the year, and yet the supply seems never to come to an end.
 We do not distinguish many different kinds of oysters when we cat them, and yet there are between three hundred and fifty and four hundred varieties of oysters ia the world. Among the smallest kind known is that which the people of Eng land, France and Germany usually eat the oysters dug in the neighborhood of Ostcnd, Belgium. The largest is the horseshoe oyster, which grows in the Pacific Ocean and elsewhere. Ordinary oysters of choice varieties, transplanted from the Atlantic coast to the Pacific have been found to develop into great size, and to have lost their flavor, so that they were scarcely eatable.
 A singular characteristic of the oysters of Florida is that they are commonly found growing on trees--not, indeed, upon the branches of trees in the air, but upon the trunks and roots which ex- tend into the water along the creeks and inlets of the Florida coast.
 When the tide falls, the oysters, cling ing to these trees, are left out of their proper element for hours at time; but this docs not interfere with their health, or with their multiplying almost beyond belief.
 These Florida oysters are very small, and not very good to eat. They form, in the beds where they grow, mass al- most as solid as mas onry. The early settlers of Florida built forts of these solid masses of oysters as defence against the Indians.
 The oysters on the coast of Florida wero formerly much larger, for fossil shell-heaps, left by Indians of au early race, are found along the coast, which are made for tho most part of very large oyster shells. Great shell -heaps of the same sort are found on the coast of Maine. Youths Companion.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

"Professor Medeleef," says Engineer ing, "has advanced the theory that pc. troleum is of mineral origin, and that its production is going on and may con- tinue almost indefinitely. He has suc- cceded in making it artificially by a similar process to that which he believes is going on in the earth, and experts find it impossible to distinguish between the natural and the manufactured article. His hypothesis is that water finds its way below tho crust of tho earth, and then meets with carbides of metals, par ticularly of iron, in a glowing state.
 The water is decomposed into its con- stituent gases; tho oxygen unites with the iron, while the hydrogen takes up the carbon, and ascends to higher region, where part of it is condensed into mineral oil, and part remains as natural gas, to escape where it can find an outlet, or to remain stored at great pressure until bore-hole is put down te provide it a passage to the surface. Oil
 bearing strata occur in the vicinity o
 mountain ranges, and it is supposed that the upheaval of the hills has dis
 located the strata below sufficiently tc give the water access to depths from which it is ordinarily shut out. If thu centre of the earth contains larg' amounts of metallic carbides, we hay, in prospect store of fuel against tb'
 1ng Xha 4qE sesl vill hs axhaasted,
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
The Fate of Ocean Wrecks,

The almost daily reports by arriving vessels of passing derelict and aban- doned vessels at sea, might lead the landsman to suppose that wrecks are more numerous than is actually the case. But, in fact, single wreck is reported many times and frequently in wide change of position. It may be seen today on one part of the coast and tomorrow may be many miles from that position, as it drifts about with the cur rent of the Gulf stream or it is driven a long distance by the winds.
 It is only few weeks ago that the cruiser Atlanta lowed into the capes of Delaware dangerous dcrclict which had been drifting about off the coasts for weeks, and though special attention had been given by passing vessels to re- port this wreck, in order that the infor- nation might lead to finding and de- stroying it, it was long time before it could be placed. Often the wrecks that are reported at the hydrographic office lead to an extensive and unavail- ing search only because they have been carried SO far from the re- ported position by winds and currents that the searching vessel could not find them. When it is possible to tow them into port this is done; otherwise they are blown up with gun cotton torpedoes. One wreck, seen on the lower edge of the banks of Newfoundland on Aug. 2s, in latitude 43 degs. north, longitude 55 degs. east, had drifted to latitude 39 degs. north, longitude GA degs. west, on Oct. 7, distance of 800 miles, and had been reported four times.--[New York Tribune.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
THE GOVERNESS.

"Angeline!" cried Mrs. Duncan, as she iuttered into her daughters bou- doir, "what shall I do2 I've just re- ccived a regret from Madam Boutelle, and I don't know what in the world I am to do with the count"
 "You're sure he is cominga" queried Angeline, anxiously.
 ''Oh, yes! He's all right-the dear fellow! I had the sweetest note from him, saying that he would be charmed. But now that Madam Boutelle isn't com ing, there will be no one who can talk tc. him. Angcline, I wish you would give little moro attention to your French"
 q have just been taking lesson, mamma" Angeline replied. "Made- moiselle La Fonte has taught me a new verb this afternoon"
 Mrs. Duncan glanced at the little French governess, hitherto unnoticed, and said, patronizingly:
 q hope you will take great pains with her pronunciation, mademoiselle. I always said that French did not amount to much without pronun- ciation."
 'There is no language which does, !" replied the little governess, quietly.
 "Of course not! Angcline, are you through with your lesson2 Those faces have come from McKay's, and I do want to talk to you about this dim CT Yes, mademoiselle, you may go now; but you must not forget that you arc to translate my bill of fare into French will you2"
 "No, madam, will not forget"
 She quilted the room with bow and bearing that showed she had not always been mere teacher of French to young children and giddy girls. Indeed, there had been time when tho old La Fonte family had stood to all Provence as 6 | type of the bluest blood of France. But the Franco-Prusslan war had made a beggar of the once rich family, and lief, Valerie with widowed mother, who soon died of grief.
 Mamma" said the fair Angeline, a! she watched the slender, gray-robed figure out of sight, "why don't you ge mademoiselle in the place of the Bou telle woman2'
 | "What2" screamed Mrs. Duncan "Glve the place next to Count d. Beaupre to governess2"
 "You needn't tell anybody who sh is. She is well-enough looking, ant knows how to behave"
 "Knew how to behave t was wei for the fair Angeline's plans that made moisellc did not hear her.
 "I shall sit on one side of the count, said Angeline, airily. "Of course b l VII talk te ms ! areet 4ssl, and r ! ae
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
A Prompt Application.

Bobby had been pretty good little boy all day and his father was very much pleased.
 "You will find, Bobby" said the old man, "that virtue is its own reward. l mean by that that every time you do what you ought to do you will feel good over it. Do you understand"
 "oh, yes," responded Bobby intelli- gently, ''and now, pa, if you'll give me another piece of pie you'll feel good, o."-- New Haven Palladium.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
A Tear.Shedding Tree.

The Kagashiatrec of the natives of h. dia is described as tree that really weeps. If an axe-cut is made in the bark of ono of these trees in spring, the sap flows from the wound in great stream; and whenever an opening in the bark is made, the fluid escapes for considerable time. These facts are given by recent observer, who mentions noticing great drops falling from one broken branch at the rate of one second, the tree having been in weeping condition for at least ten days
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

It is not generally known that the worlds supply of pebcil wood is drawn from the gulf coast sw tmps on both sides of Cedar Keys, and hfQt the product of the mills there is~shipped not only to New York and New Jersey factories, but also to Germany, and, perhaps, other countries of Europe. The industry gives employment to hundreds of operatives, white and black, and disburses largo sums of money. That nothing may be lost, the sawdust is distilled in large re- torts, and the oil extracted, every ounce of which finds ready sale.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
The Apple Seed.

 Come hither and listen; tale I'll relate Of little brown seed and its wonderful fate; In heart of an apple in autumn twas found, Then was buried deep down in the dark, si-
 lent ground. The frost soon enshrouded its own little bed, And snows drifted o'er it, by chilling winds
 sped; The day and the night were alike where it
 lay; Of the pale winter sunshine it knew not one
 ray. The white drifts all vanished one mild April
 day, And frost that encased it all melted ere May {; It sprang to tho surface as soon as twas
 freed And raised two green banners-the brave
 little seed. It grew and it spread as the fleet years went
 By; It sheltered the cattle, while birds of the sky Built nests 'mong its leaves and there reared
 their young, And the gay boys and girls on its low
 branches swung. Should you sail to the East-the wide ocean And search every page of its magical lore. You never will find more marvellous
 thing Then the blossoming out of that tree in the
 Spring. And apples grew on it, so rosy and fair ko y-ol Onod low
 there; Down 'mong the tall grasses they dropped
 from the tree, Where the children would seek them with
 shouting and glee. When harvests are garnered at fall of the
 year, The corn-husks all stripped from the glossy,
 gold ear, This queen of the fruits, that the season had
 graced, In the cellars cool darkness was carefully
 placed ...... ..
 fire The family gathered-from infant to sire; Then apples were brought and circular
 row On the hearth stone was placed to roast in
 the glow. A fair, laughing maid, with keen, glancing
 steel, A ribbon would make of an apples smooth
 peel, Then the fresh, supple length would use as Of the nams of the lover who loved her the
 best. Around her bright head she would give it Q
 twirl, Then a gentle dash downward, with twist
 and quirl; And scoffing, but blushing, her shoulder
 looked OCT At the letter it made as it fell to the floor. The silver-haired grandma her knitting laid
 down, And taking an apple, all roasted and brown, She story on story in retrospect traced, As the dear toddling babe she indulged with
 taste The provident housewife made many a dish, As luscious and wholesome as mortal could
 wish, Of.their rich, juicy pulp, oh, wonder, in deed, Is this tale that tell of the little brown seed. -LC. A. M Webb, in Boston Transcript
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

The Congressional hibrary at Wash ington will cover 111sQOO square feet, more than two and 8 half acres. Mr. Smithmeyer, to whom the library has been intrusted, has carried on, says the American Architect, elaborate tests of the resisting power of the soil on which it will stand. A loaded car was brought to bear on the earth of the excavated trenches in such way as to prove that the resistance was equal to thirteen and . half tons to the square foot. As the estimated weight of the building is be- tween two and three tons to the square foot, the chances of subsistence of walls and consequent disasters are reduced to . minimum. The German Parliament house covers no, 900 square feet, and the Royal Library at Munich 1000, tho library of the British Museum 97,OOO.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

A novel industry has been startel by boys in the San Monica Mountains in California. They catch rattlesnakcs by means of a aslip moose of cord, box them up and take them to Los Angeles, where they sell them. The Chinese arc the purchasers. They use them as medicine, and the snakes sell for from 50 ceats to 41 each. It is said that the Chinamen handle them fcarlessly and never get bitten
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

In 1890 will end the term of 100 years during which the cities of Boston and Philadelphia have each enjoyed the in- come of bequest of s, 900, made by Benjamin Franklin with the proviso that the interest from, tho funds should be loaned out to young married mechan- ics. In Bostoa the fund has grown to nearly <5gS, GOO, while in Philadelphia it has reached only $1O, 900.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
What Troubled Bobby,

The minister was dining with the family, and he said to Bobby, with an amused smile:
 "I'm afraid, Bobby, that you haven't the patience of Job"
 "No, sir" responded Bobby, who was hungry, "but Job wasn't always hslpsd last. "-[ Epoch.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

A New York reporter has discovered . man living in the top of once rcspec table mansion, whose occupation is very odd one. He advertises that he will write ''poetry on all subjects at reason able rates" His speciality is acrostlcs, of which he keeps large stock on hand, made to fit almost all the common femi- nine names. These he retaiis at from 50 cents to $125 each, according to style and quality.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

The fact that breech-loading guns of great tonnage project from the turrets of war ships has now led to controver- sy as to whether, on the whole, the old muzzle-loaders, which could be wholly withdrawn within the turret, are not preferable.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

Of the 400, 800 Hebrews computed to be in the whole United States, at least 125, 900 are settledin New|Yors. Among them are many miliionaires. A New York paper recently published list of nineteen Hebrews in that city whose for tunes range from 1000, 900 up to ss,- GOO. GOO each
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
A Faultless Memory,

Brown-You haven't forgotten, Dunn ley, that you owe me two dollars, have you2 '
 Dumley-No; was just about to men tion it.
 Brown-Oh, thanks. It will come in very hand
 Dumley-I was going to ask you to lend me three more, aud make it m even Ave- New York Sun
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

After hearing him several times, the New Workers are apparently convinced that Josef Hoffman, the ten-year old boy pianist, is really musical wonder The Tribune critic says of him: 'He is an astounding boy,a born pianofore player, gifted by nature with qualifications which the ordinary run of mankind at tains only through years of study and practice. His playing stands in the first rank, though his improvising is scarcely less remarkable considering his years" Many interesting tests of the boys ability Tn improvising are given, and altogether he promises to be the reign ing musical prodigy for some time to come-until second Blind Tom arises, perhaps, to carry off his laurels.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Brought It on Himself.

MT. Smartun-No, Miss Jones, they can't deceive me; am rot such big fool as look.
 Miss Jones (endeavoring to fatter- No, indeed-I discovered that long ago. -TJudge.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
After All.

"I cannot say yes. Walter. shall always be sis" Sister to me2 No, you won't"
 "Yes, Walter; your brother Charles proposed to mo last night, and l ac cept a him.-[Life.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28

A farmer of Belmont, Ohio, is proud because among bis, other live stock he has pig with toes, another with three ears, cat with an ear growing wrong side out, and boy with three thumbs.
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Alarming COntOrtiOns.

Passenger Con street car, alarmed)- Madam, do you feel fit coming on7
 Madam (haughtily)-No, sir; I'm try. ing to Ind ny pockst,
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Nursery Song.

Pace, pace, pace: That's the way the ladies ride. Foot hung down the pony's side, Pace, pace, pace; Pacing gently into town, To buy bonnet and a gown; Pacing up the narrow street, Smiling at the folks they meet; That's ths way the ladies ride, Foot hung down the pony's side
 Pace, pace, pace.
 Trot, trot, trot: That's the way the gentlemen ride, Ger the horses back astride,
 Trot, trot, trot. Riding after fox and hound, Leaping OCT the meadows bound, Trotting through tho woods in spring, Wherc the little wild birds sing, That's the way the gentlemen ride, Der the horses back astride,
 Trot, trot, trot. Rock, rock, rock: InaUS the way tue SallorS Tlue, Rock and reel from side to side,
 Rock, rock, rock. Jack Tar thinks he's on the seas, Tossing in a northern breeze; Thinks that he must veer and tack, When he mounts horses back; Rocking east and rocking west, Jack Tar rides, dressed in his best;
 Rock, rock, rock.
 Sleep, sleep, sleep: That's the way boy Ned will ride. Floating on the summer tide.
 Sleep sleep, sleep, Out upon the drowsy sea, Where the sweet dream blossoms bs, Far away to Sleepy Isles Sails my Ned. "Good night" he smiles Sinking down in pillows deep Little Ned is fast asleep:
 Sleep, sleep, sleep. tAna M. Libby in Good Housekeeping
Connecticut western news., 1887-12-28
Connecticut Western News.
 PUBLISHED AT
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Local News a Speciality,
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