The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-12-31
WITH HIS LEFT HAND.

Ihere lived Tn the nelghDorhood Of Bearwallow, Ky, notorious "bully" named Ali Featherston. Unlike the aspiring man of a mining camp he did not rest his reputation upon the knife nor the burning of powder, but upon the vigor of his arm and the agility of his body. "I don't banker airter kill in man." he often remarked. q jest wanter break some uv his bones an sec him grin like 'possum."
 One day, while a number of men were at work on log meeting house, Ali came along and, after lending a helping hand in the placing of large log, turned to the men and said Hands, see some putty stout lookin' timber 'mungst you, but l can whup any man in the crowd"
 "Now, Alt" replied old man Sum- mers, "we air engaged in putin up house uv peace, an it would look ruther out uv keepin' in us to stop an fight"
 "The very foundation nv yore she bang is built on blood" Ali rejoined, ''an' don't see why you air so mealy- mouth over this here log contrapshun. They tell me that when churches wuz fust built folks uster git around lem an hit each other with clubs am hack out one another's blood with scythe- blades an sich."
 'FI ain't goin' to argy with you, Alt," said old man Summers, "tur l don't reckon it makes no diffunce to you whuther the church wuz baptized in blood UT rain water"
 "Ur ambier," suggested Ali.
 q say ain't goin' to argy with you. Boys, who's that comin' yam der?"
 "Sim Peters," some one replied.
 "That jest stan's me in hand," said Ali, with brightening countenance. "I had one little firt with him wunst an didn't give him quite enough, as I have hearn that he wa'n't satisfied"
 "Mawnin', hands, mawnin' vshouted Sim as he approached. "Buildin' sheep pen, hah?" he remarked as he came up and glanced at the logs scattered about. "Sheep pens air mighty fine things, Uncle Summers, but I reckon you'll have to chink lem putty tight to keep the goats rum gittin' in"
 "I reckon we ken manage to keep you out, Sim," the old man replied. The men roared, and Ali, after snort ing contemptuously, said:
 "Oh, he chawed you that time; jest nachully chawed both yore years off"
 "Wall, now," Sim rejoined, "he'd have mighty big job ef he wuz to undertake to chaw off both uv yourn."
 "You bet him UT anybody else would; not becaze my years is so big but becaze they air the inherited prop erty uv sich man."
 "Oh, let up about beinisich man." Sim replied. We ain't hearn nuthin' fur year UT two but how good a man you think you air. You air ez big ez a crap mortgage"
 Alf-"Yes, an ez strong"
 Sim-"Yes, an ez much uv a cut throat"
 Old Summers-"Come, gentlemen, you air gittin' leetle too clost to each other"
 Alf-"He ain't gittin' none too clost to me. ken stand anything uv that sort, ken. I wuz raised three in bed, me. don't keer how clost man gifts to me, ez long ez he sticks to the truth"
 Sim-"But the closter & man sticks to the truth the furder he is away rum you"
 Old Summers-"Come, gentlemen, don't mowl an jower. It ain't becom- in in men to ack thater way. Turn to here am hep us up with that big 1 side log"
 Ah-"1 ain't thinkin' bout he'pin' up with no log. Pm thinkin' bout | walkm somebody's log, me-"
 Sim-"Mine, reckon"