Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-02-05
HARDENED.

Conservative Description of Mr. Gladstone
GA Hawarden'd ner'-Puck
Coins have been dated ever since the ff-
teenth century. Eggs are not dated yet
Omaha World
Small scholar thirsting for iaformation)- r.
What good does the pigs tail do the pig
New York Sun.
"What is the best way to manage mana''
asks feminine correspondent. Marry him.
Omaha World.
After all, the railroads do not care half SO
much about the long haul or the short haul
as they do about making big haul-San
Francisco Examiner.
Dea. Bucrag Ito Sunday school class s)-Yes,
dear children. everything in this world has
its use. There is nothing, however small or
trifing, that was not intended for some good
purpose.
The Indians ON the Digger reservation in
Nevada invited many whites to witness big
dance not long since. When they attempted
to leave they found an old chief, who told
them it cost nothing to go in, but it would
cost twenty-five cents head to get out
Mamma" said Mr.. Five Years, 81 wish
papa would give me pony" "He can't,
dear; he is not rich enough" A little later:
"Mamma, may I have some pudding" "No,
my dear; it is too rich" Still later: Mamma,
IL wish that papa pa was as rich as the
puddlng!-EXchange.
Caught on at Last-Oil Broker Ito former
customer)-tHow dye dc, Mr.. Lambs am
glad to see you looking SO well and prosper
right side of the market now for some
months" Oil Broker-What side have you
been playinga" Mr.. Lamb-'sThe outside"
Puck.
'tNo, don't care for hard work." said a
tramp, as the manager of the Provident wood
yard pointed him to = and am axe. t'I'm
not very strong and have to work easy OF
none at all. Up in ST. Paul applied for the
job of driving flies out of the ice palace, but q
snoozer from Fargo got in ahead of me. You
don't happen to have an ice palace here, dc
yous"
One time when Mrs. Crane the comedians
wife, was instructipg her son in history, she
asked: CHOW tell me, deary, why we cele
brate Washington's birthday more than youl
papa's or Mr.. Robson'ss'
''I don't know, mamma" said the preco-
lie. Chicago News.
A local correspondent vouches for the
truth of the followish: Two ladies called at
a house on Main street. After two rings at
the bell dear little girl appeared and in
spected the visitors with undisguised inter
est. "Ah, my DEAR" said one lady, "will
you please tell your mother that Mrs. -
duu MISS aES mere, duu WOulo ike Lo
see her?' The little dear said she would and
went up stairs. After awhile she returned
sat down and silently watched the two
strangers. ''Well, said one at length, "and
what did mamma say, little ones" ''She
said: oh, dear! I don't want to, but ]
s'pose I must. '"-Buffalo Courier.
Why He Didn't Come Sooner-ssPve been
ringing this bell for fifteen minutesl" he in
dignantlv exclaimed as the elevator reached
the top floor. Eyes, SIR" humbly replied
the boy. ';And next time I shall have to re
port you" eyes, sir, but please don't. 1
was trying to fix the cables. All but one are
broken, but you rang SO long that thought
I'd come up and take the chances of drop. u
"B-boys" gasped the man as he got out
on the lower floor. ''If 1 ever ring again
and you haven't got but one cable, don't
mind me. Just come up stairs and call me
an old fool, and I'll have quarter ready to
slip into your hand. ."-Detroit Free Press.