Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1887-06-15
JUST FOR. FUN.
rHkTwoULDMAKE THE SPHINX w1aa1h

THATwoULDMAKE THE SPHINX w1GaLn.
S..My dear fellow, she's a queen, y
said an enthusiastic traveller to friend.
Always calm, serene, and dignifed.
No one can see her without becoming
completely captivated.'
Remarkable, truly was the cynical
reply "How long have you known
her -; -, ra:s-es N =, -,
Since last September" ~
swell, wait till summers over.
Maybe you'll catch glimpse of her
some time when a bug has dropped
down the back of her neck
WANTED HIS TYPHOID STRAIGHT.
There is milkman at Brixton who
has a ready wit that lawyer might
envy. One of his customers caught
him watering his milk at a horse-trough
the other day. ~. ~ ~
"What!" said the customer in rage,
"isn't it enough that Your milk is full
of typhoid without your going and
wateringsitP' I
The milkman turned round, and,
smiling complacently, said to two or three
bystanders: "What can you do with
a man like thisp He actually wants
his typhoid straight. ''-Philadelphia
Press. Z
LOVES YOUNG DREAM.
Lovely girl Cat a restaurant MY
dear, order what you please for both. /
don'tfeel hungry bit.
Affianced Young Mani can't eat
mouthful, my.darling. III
''Nor I. Ishaven't eaten anything
hardly for weeks. By the way. what
was the rent of the house we were
looking at?'
zone hundred dollars MONTH"
'That's just your salary, so that Won't
mo: The other one alongside Of it
is $780," - ~.,~$, y >, i. = :
'Let's take that
'But $40 won't buy coal and pay
girls wages"
"A girl! Dear me, forgot all about
that. We.must get a cheaper house,
because there must be enough over to
buy something for the girl to eat, you
know" -
Last Sunday night when young Rock
ct called, the little girl climbed on hin
knee and began poking the visitor in
the ribs. what are you doing, Min
niee" asked Rocket. ':Des pokin' you
to see if you's soft, - replied the artless
infant. ''Sister," said you was soft's
boiled squash" Rocket didn't wait
to see ''sister," and vows he'll never
call there again.
ROBIN THE CoRPsEs.
When the minister went from homo
Dawson always went to see him safe of
by the train. About this time the Rail-
way Passenger Insurance Company had
started in, and a report was current
that the conductors of trains had an
arrangement with the company to Ego
through" any one, killed or injured, and
If they had one, destroy the insurance
ticket. On one occasion the doctor was
leaving, and just as the train began to
move out of the depot Dawson camo
rushing up. "Hae, Doctor! Doctor! hae
ye got an insurance ticket?" eyes:
what of itP' was the reply.
''Weel. Just recht yer name ont and
gle it to me-" By this time the train
was fairly off. so Dawson put up his
hands, la speaking trumpet, and
shouted out after the minister: ..Thev'.
We gotten a maist afae bad hawbit o.
Robin the corpses on this line" A
pleasant send off truly. -
* THE GU1LEss HEArHEN. ~+%
There is evidence that q man can
live in Chicago and maintain confidence
in human nature, say the Tribune Of
that city: Charlie Weeks CANDLES and
"hits the pipe" One day, after
period of i'll luck, when his resources
were about exhausted, he went to tho
Chinaman who kept the opium '.joint"
he patronized and tried to borrow a
''fiver." But the Chinaman was not
disposed to yield. ;. ~
''John," said Weeks, -,..let me have
this five. I will pay you tomorrow.
If don't you may know am dead"
Charlie got the five, bought checks
with it, and lost. .. .'0..> W..
A couple of weeks later one Of
Weeks friends dropped into the opium
joint and inquired after Charlie. The
Chinaman silently ran his iron over
the bosom of a shirt for a moment,
sighed for his absent friend and said:
''Weeks-poor Charlie Weeks-him
dead"
.-,- TO MAKE BULLHEADs BITE. a..
"What kind of fish are you catch-
ingP" we asked a small boy who was
fishing in Covell's Lake west of Sioux
Falls. i <@-*r4s
''Bullheads. he replied.
. IN r-0- -