Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1887-05-19
HERE and rHERx.

~~-NNA| @~-tN~I N0Nh h@htA Why nGI tOte
would come ont OF shoes so soon, said:
''Why, course know. It's because toes
wiggle, and heels don't. p Ba5yhood.
Music may have ischasns to soothe the
savage, &c, but If II "a German music
it can't soothe the savage FEsnchmen
anything 70 speak off, Boston Post.
An exchange says that Mark Twain and
Mr. Howsils walk around in New York
with their arms lovingly looked. This is
probably done to keep them from writing
in the streets. Life.
Mamma-Did it hurt you much dear j?
Dorothy (who is connoisssur in dolls,
and who has had tumble -Terwibly
mamma My knee feels des . il all de
sawdust WAS runnin' ont.--ISd-B its
Teaeher-''with whom did Achilles
fight at Troy 2" Boy-"With Pluto .
Wrong" with Nero . Wrong. p
'Then II was Hector" what made you
think of Pluto and Nero ?" "Oh,
knew it was one Of our dogs. Their names
are Pluto, Nero aud Hector. = Frank
ftrter ZeituRs.
Invalid (fretfully to his nurss) What
is that internal row in the other room Ia
anybody getting killed +? Who Is that
calling for the policeS Nurse (reassur-
ingly)-0hl don't mind that sir. It's
Mrs. DIR. Pellets, Miss DIR. Oalomel and
Nine DR. Juniper holdinga consultation,
sir.--,Ns,o York Mail
Missouri girl waved her hand at a
stranger, and in three days they were
married. Two days later the young wife
waved a tiatiron at her husband, and the
next evening he came home waving di.
voree. What are the wild waves saying.
Burlington Free Press.
'swhat about the Monroe doctrine ?'
was asked of a village candidate. ''Oh,
we'll, now" said he, "when it comes to
that. that's Jest as good doctors now as
there ever was. All this talk about
Bright's disease and Monroe's doctorin' is
nonsense. DIR. Buck, standin' thar is as
good doctor as any nv them. "-Arkdnsaso
TraDeller.
Col. Whooper-''Sah, in your paper of
yesterday morning, You referred to me as
"a badly scared veteran You promised
to correct the error this morning. Editor
We'll it's all right in this mornings
paper, amt it2" Colonel-aEo, sab il
now reads that am a 'bottle-scarred vet
eran.' Now, sab, il you make one more
correction, III hold you personally re.
sponsible, sah. - Ttras SUtiaQs.
Evidently Mr.. poRderly is on the right
track when he lights hard against the
liquor traffic and the use OF intoxieants by
knights of Labor. If he could succeed
in making the members Of the order total
absiainers he would insure their comfort
and prosperity as a body, and do more
than Henry Georges land lunacy or any
other nostrum TO " abolish poverty. ~
Cleveland LEADER.
The jack rabbit cannery at Nampa has
added two more stamps, an amalganmtor,
and another bone-picker TO its machinery
and will be we'll able to handle the com.
ing blackbird crop. Poney Young says
that unless Boise City catches on and re.
opens the crick foundry quilting off the
tails of black crickets and Shipping EAST
for blaekberries) she will drop to the rear
OF the procession Wood hi0er, Idaao,
Times.
The flag for the Hawaiian navy has
been designed by Mrs. Strong, and CON.
tains in the centre, on white background,
a gold crown resting on yellow shield.
The shield contains white taboo stick,
crossed by two red kahills, one represent
ing His Majesty the King, and the other
Princess Liliuokalani. Above, below,
and on both sides of the crown and shield
are alternate stripes OF red, white and
blue. The borders of the flag are gray
H0a0lftlu Gdzetts.
Little Eddie, years old, had an attack
Of Group one night. The next evening,
when be kneeled down to say his prayers,
his mamma told him he must thank God
for making him well. So he said, II
thank Thee, God, for making me we'll.
but my nose goes this way YETI here he
shifted several times TO show that he still
had a cold in his head Ba5ghOod.
Church congregations in Berks county
are holding anti giggling sociahles for the
benefit OF the church. The person who
laughs, smiles or giggles is fined Eve
cents. At one of these gatherings the
other evening, the minister, who is some
t'eiIs .. siolADuiao, read selecuons
from London comic weekly am the
church funds we're NOT augmented a cents
w0ith -4vyIisGOrpt iisyaU.
What do you suppose, asked Nolle.
pros, was the reason for the prohibition
in the Mosaic law, thou shalt not seethe
kid in his mothers milk?'n "Oh. .
SAID the Judge, it was q humane pro.
vision; 1t was made SO we might not com
pei a physician to take his own prescrip.
ton or put a lawyer on the witness
stand Nollepros said it was quite clear
70 him now uTdette.
correspondent Of the Boston Tran.
script wants to know who wrote these
lines.
Count that day lost whose low descending
sun
Views from thy hand no worthy action done.
II We are not mistaken this is simply a
parody. The original which is under.
stood to have originated with the Fleming
Fost of this city, rurs:
Count that day lost whose sun when on the
Views from Thy pen no farce attack on
Blaine,
NJ T. Tribune.
Big Arson hit the ball squarely in the
nose, and it went sailing over toward the
fair grounds as if it had been shot out OF
q howitzer. just before it passed over
the right field fence it met an unexpected
obstruction A lad who was seated on
the top bench reached up and caught it
as deliberately rs if it had been a dew.
drop" He threw the ball to WEIGH who,
passed It 10 the pitcher, and Anson's hit,
which ought TO have yielded him home
run counted him but two bases. Three
cheers for the kid on the fence Mis-
so'trj hqpub'ic0n.
i reckon we'll have 10 give mp the idee
o. putin pictures in the parlor
Miranda, remarked Jeremiah Tnrnip
seed, as lie threw the birdie under the
table. Why" asked Miranda ,tTot
dear Why priced one at the city to
day, and the dealer sez, ser he That
an old master, its price is So ,000.' why,
seq 1t looks like second hand pietur
Yes, il is, stz he. Then, thinks | II {
second hnnd pictur' costs that much, IT,,
no use TO price new IN. So Miranda
reckon we'll have to hang mp few
mHttoes, God Bless Oar Home, and til,
like, and let the pic,ura go.n--E itts6Urgl
Ghronicie- Telegraph
There are fashions in SMILES az ii
everything else For instance, when tht
dtd4ta Constitution says that 'tBismarcl
Is az busy as black pig under chin
capin tree, it appeals directly to th,
tast Of its southern readers. A Kansa
City newspaper would have said stas bus
as real estate dealer loaded with corne
lots Philadelphia newspaper woult
have remarked ''as busy as man eatin,
shad y Boston newspaper would hay,
observed, las busy, to quote Emerson
as, &c. while New York or ChicaR,
newspaper would have simply said "a
busy as boodlerhuntine bail. - hicag
Mems
HE.
Merry little maiden
Laughing all the day,
Why IS all your life 80 sunny
Many a miser al his money
Gladly 70 the sage would pny