Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1887-01-27
ITALIAN coURrsBIP.
Under the Most Difficult circumstance
Love viii Fiad Way.

The question is. How does the Italian
manage 10 get married. or even to fall
in loveg Among the lower classes,
where every member of the household is
obliged to do something towards earn
ing aiivelihood, the girls must of course
be allowed to go abroad at times, and
the rich have their balls and the opera
where the young of both sexes may
meet But the seclusion in which the
young ladies OF the middle class are
kept is almost complete. They are al
lowed to sit on the balcony and TO 60 to
church in the company of q duenna,
three or four times year they are
taken out for drive, and this is almost
the only contact with the outside world
that is permitted them. Nor is it easy
for them to attain by stealth the forbid
den freedom. When the parents go
out they either set an old woman to
look after them, or seerete their hats
and boots and then lock them safely in.
Jealous husbands treat their wives in
the same way, though this is considered
reprehensible after the first few years of
wedlock. In word, everything is done
to exclude both temptation and ro-
nance.
In the larger towns the influence of
foreign manners and the presence of
Northern visitors are beginning to make
themselves felt. In Florence the young
ladies enjoy liberty which would have
seemed outrageous license to their
grandmothers, and even in Naples
parental rigor is slowly relaxing. tits
in Sicily and the less frequented parts
of Southern Italy that the old system is
still in full force, though, strangely
enough even there there are single towns
and districts in which from time inn
memorial the customs have been far
freer. To these we do not refer, nor to
such marriages as are simply arranged
by the parents of the young people for
worldly reasons. The number of the
latter is smaller in Italy than is usually
supposed. -.......
Under the most difficult circumstances
love, as the old song says, will find
way, and here, too, he steals into the
maiden's chamber, however carefully
it may be guarded. One right she
possesses which is sometimes denied to
young wives-the perfect freedom of the
balcony. There she may sit whenever
a shadow falls upon it, or tine GOODNESS OF
the evening has come, and the youths
who pass along the street cast eager
glances upwards to catch a glimpse of
the pretty faces above. Then, as we
have seen, she may 60 to church under
proper guardianship, and it is extraordi-
nary what love for religious exercises
some Young women will display ut this
period of life. This is all or nearly all
she can do. but 1t is enough.
1t seems that most Italians of this
class fall in love at first sight, or at least
by sight alone. Sudden passions like
that of Romeo and Juliet are the rule
rather than the exception in the South,
though they rarely have SO tragical an
ending. A young man catches Il
glimpse of girl, and at once resolves
to make her his wife; if it is at church,
he follows her home; if on balcony,
he notes the house, and begins to haunt
the street. If he is accepta BILE, perhaps
one day flower will fall at his feet.
though the girl knows that such en-.
couragement is unmaidenly. A lover
with a good voice and ear has an I'M
mense advantage. He sings snatches OF
love songs as he walks below, and if
voice above takes up the last note and
gradually passes to another song, he
may take heart. Whatever difficulties
he may still have to encounter, an
aversion on the part of the object of his
affections will not be one of them.
Very pretty tlirtations are carried on in
this way, the young lady at times mock
| ing and teasing her admirer with frag.
ments of satirical verse, and at times
falling into something very like senti-
ment, but they are more frequent after
than before the betrothai.
Even the most favored lover has, in
the meantime. been seeking for some
means of establishing a more direct
intercourse with the object of his choice.
He has made inquiries of the neighbors
as to the character of the family and its
intimates, and endeavors to obtain an
introduction to one of the elderly ladies
who frequent the house. To her he ex-
plains his wishes and his position in
life, and he then begs her to plead his
cause. If he is an eligible suitor, she is
almost certain to consent, as the mis-
sion is an interesting one, and the
position is considered highly honorable.
| She knows nothing of any signs of favor
the lover may have received, so her
first visit is to the young lady, who
feigns shyness and reluctance which
it sometimes takes weeks to overcome.
At least the envoy is supposed 10 act
thus; in fact, there is generally per-
feet understanding between her and the
parents, though they pretend to know
nothing of what is going on. After the
maiden has given what she considers n
sufficient proof of her modesty, she
yields The father is then consulted,
the principal conditions of the marriage
contract are discussed, and the betrothal
takes place.
Such is the course of true love when
it runs smoothly. as, in spite of all the
authorities to the contrary, it occasion
ally does in real life. If the maiden is
coy, the youth has q more difficult task.
He endeavors to secure the good offices
of some female dependent OF the family,
of an old nurse-nurses play a far great
er part in the family life of Italy than of
England-or even, if no other opportu-
nifty offers, of the washerwoman. Such
negotiations are generally kept strictly
secret, and if the young lady shows u
marked aversion to the proposed mar
riage they are dropped at once. If she
assents to it, the lover sends one of his
| relations or friends, who is as often as