Daily Republican., 1887-12-07

Massey TAKHs OOMrORr.


The eleckshun in Moo York fills US
here in Washington with delite
which We kin hardly eggspress. His
Eggslency, the President, is quite
another man, and the entire Dimoc-
risy Nv Washington ia another man.
They commenst changin to another
man the mint they commenst getting
the nooze.
WhyS 1t got us rid Nv the Mug
wumps-it relieved US NV inkubus.
The gineral flavor Nv eileen shirts and
sox that pervaded 'em wuzu't material
10 me, and / mist, more than any one
kin appreshatc, that pungent flavor OF
pug chawin terbacker grated onto
moo whiskey, by which q Dimecratic
assemblago pure and simple advertises
its whereabouts.
Therefore, doorin the entire cam
pane NV 1884 | wuz uncomfortable
while | wuz in the East. To be in the
presence Nv Geo. Wilyum Curtis,
eileen shaved, and clean shirted, with
white pockit handkercher-to hev
him stare at me when I drownded a
fly on the carpit with terbacker joose,
or when l did any little thing like
wich Is the pride Nv the free Dimoc.
rlsy NV Kentucky. it wuz not comfort
able. l never liked him sencs he
keertully wiped his hand with a hand.
kercber after shakin hands with me,
and then put that handkerchief away
in his cote pockit and took out fresh
one for immeiit yoose. He is altogether
too pertikeler fur my yoose, and his
assoshates amt a partikle better.
Therefore, inasmuch ez this'elecshun
gifts US rio Nv them forever, we rejoice
eZ wun relieved NV a crate burden
We he'd suspected Tor some time that
all the strength they controlled wuz
wat ther hats kivered, fur we coodent
see how anybody Good be simple enuii
to foller them into our camp in search
Nv "politikle purity" and inezmuch
ez they wuzn't NV any yOose TO us we
determined to hist 'em. It's rutber
tryin on US to he held to anything de.
| cent, anyhow. SO when Geo. Wilyum
and the Moo York Evenin Post and
the rest Nv the Mugwump eend NV the
| skinner demanded that we throw Eel
lows, the Tammany candidate for Dis.
trik Attorney, overheard, on the skore
that he he'd bin partner NV Boss
Tweed's, and he'd never repentid NV
1t, and wuz in with the boodlers now,
1t wuz our chance We he'd His Eggs
lency write q letter sayin that he Good
see no reason why the Dimocrisy
shoodent support Fellows, and more.
over he sent his check for round
sum to assist in electin him. The ijet
that won the choice wuz atwixt Tam
many Hall and Geo. Wilyum Curtis
ther Good be minit's paws, or hesita
shen! The ijee that we shood trade
| OIL the lower part NV Moo York, wich
gives any magority we want, fur sci
NV eileen shaved Sundy skool teechers
Now We arc fixed ez we want to be
We hcy the solid South, which hez
shOtguns for Jeezeus iur its politiklt
ackshen, and we hev Tammany Hal
without incumhrance-States' Rites il
the South and Free Whisky in Noo
York. We are invincble, thus torti
fed, and in wat other way are we
Them's the kind Nv Democrisy WI
need, the two kinds we bey in tht
South and Moo York. Oh, it WI.
glorioual Ole times hev cum agin
When the Mugwumps proved that Eel
lows wuz a partner Nv Tweed's, ant
wus instroomentle in cleerin the bood
lers, the word wuz past along the line
"Our candidate proved to be
boodler and it is huitin us somewat
Brewers and distillers to the from
with more money TO make good th,
loss!"
| And they responded nobly. Th'
more it wuz proved that Fellow
wuzn't fit to hold that or any othe
offs, the more the likker interest con
tribbited, and the more the s'loon
vomitcd out their reserves. And theI
how glorious His Eggslency come il
| with his letter endorsln Fellows, ant
his Civil Scrvis cheque TO help out th'
expenses. Ha! ha! Mr.. Curtis "Th
President better'n his party" hay
| Why, ther aint q heeler in the Sixtl
ward rank cnuf, which woOden't b
justified in slappin him on the bac'
aud calm him "Grover"
Things SCOT me, they Go. Five year
more Nv this sort NY thing, and l she
feel ez tho he'd my share, he recon
ciled to death, and go hence entirel
satisfied.
PETROLEUM Y. Nasty, p. M.
| (Which is Postmaster and Gineral Ad