Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-04-29
Mr.. and MRS. BOWSER
BY MRS. BOwsER.

"Shall we go to church to'mor-
row :" ! inquired of Mr.. Bowser
the other Saturday night as we
we're closing up the house and get
ting ready for bed.
"ShaIl we3' he echoed, as ne
stopped pulling of one of his boots
to look up. "Mrs. BOwser, you
seem to be drifting into heathen'
ism OF course we'll go to church.
1t is our duty to set the world all
example"
"But it's such a job for you to
get ready, you know y
81 don't know nything of the kind!
| can get ready three times to your
once. and with one tenth the fuss.
While l am not so-called Chris
tian, Mrs. Bowser, | propose to re-
spect the Lords day by going to
church, and | propose you'll do the
same
We have breakfast at eight
o'clock Sabbath morning. At half
past seven | was up, and called to
Mr.. Bowser, who lay on the broad
of his back with his hands locked
under the back of his neck.
. Yes he groaned.
Five minutes later | called him
again.
"Y-e.s.'
"NIr. Bowser, it's a quarter to
eight
"Can't you let a teller sleep"
"But are you going to church."
At sharp eight | got him out OF
bed, but it was halfpast before we
sat down to breakfast, and nine
before we got up. Then he went
off to dress, but it wasn't five min
utes before he shouted;
"Alrs. Bowser, where's my shirt p
"Why, in your bureau drawer, of
course
"There isn't a single shirt
there
Iwent up stairs and pulled out
the drawer, and there lay six clean
shirts.
"Why didn't you say in the top
drawer ~ he growled, and l went
down stairs to hear him, three min
utes later, calling to me;
"Mrs. 3owser, have l got a pair
of pantaloons in this house."
OF course you have. Your Sun
day pantaloOns are III 'he c'oseV'
"No, they amt! ~ I've looked
the house from top to bottom, and
they amt to be found"
went mp and showed them to
him, hanging right before his eyes
At the same time l got him a col
lar. laid out his cuffs and necktle,
and put his coat and vest on a
chair. got ten minutes rest be-
fore he beloved over the banis
ter:
"Mrs. Bowser, if ! was a wife and
mother and housekeeper, Pd pay
some attention to my husbands
wardrobe ~
"What's wanted now"
"This collar won't ft! You've
cone and let that swindling laun
dryist steal all my collars and SEND
me up old rags in the place o.
them y
| went up and showed him his
own mark on every collar, and fit
ted one on his neck in a half q
minute. / had got down and fin
ished combing my hair when ht
suddenly uttered a warhOop, and
followed it up with
"Mrs. Bowser, I've busted q
I buckle off my vest"
"Well, you must PIN the Strar
together"
"Tn be hanged if do! If you
had looked my clothes over yester
day, as faithful wife would have
done, this could not have happen
edm
ran up and sewed the buckle
on, and had Just got down again
when he called
"Did you tell the cook to blacl
my boots 2"
"Why, no."
"Of course you didn't How OF
earth this house has run 50 long a
it has is a mystery to mew
| carried his boots out to the cool
and promised her a new collar t,
shine them up. By that time Mr.
Bowser came down stairs.
"Mrs. Bowser, look at thOs
cuffs :" he exclaimed in a terribl
voice as he held them out to me.
"What's the matter?'
"Matterl Why, I've broken bot
my thumbs trying to get the but
tons into 'em! If you were lik
other wives you'd-.'
l slipped the buttons in befor
he could finish the sentence AM
then ran to dress myself. In abou
three minutes | heard a terribl