The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-07-16
Ottaws, H., July ., 1887.
Exchange Gossip.

This Is the weather that tries women's
souls and makes men swe-lter and sigh ;
"Oh for lodge In some vast wilderness "
The real reason why negroes live TO such
an extreme old age is that they don't know
exactly when they were born.
A Wisconsin man drank a quart OF Ice
water to get cool and has been getting cold
er ever since. 1t killed him,
II is difficult 10 tell from the dispatches
which of the two hOnOred Americans mas
received most attention in England. t..
Blaine or Buffalo Bill.
Mrs. CleveIand's shoes worn in the Adj
rondacks we're pair of No. -, for which
she paid S. At least such is the exceed
ingly important std ement made bya Wash
lngton shoe dealer-Er.
What would this country do without
prompt and accurate telegraph service? =
that's what's pulling us.
The first mention of ice cream that Is
found In our history Is In the account OF the
festivities following Whasington's first in
auguration as president, In the city OF New
York, In 1889.
Exit the imp of Faust, and enter now
"Sir, curse your paper; send the thing to
Well,
The place ne names were impollte to tell ,
Enough to know the hero of the press
Cries: Thomas, change the gentleman
address,
Well send the paper, II the post will let 1t.
Where the subscriber will be sure 10 get II"
--.SaTe.
Mr.. Doppenheimer, I want to introd uce
burglar alarm into your house. 1t VIII
indicate at which door or window" 81
don want want none of dose tlngs, don
bodder me mid burglars" "OnCe you
have tried them, Mr.. Doppenhemer---'
Look here, meister, If you wash got con.
drlvance what keeps mine wife from go
In dru nine pockets when wash asleep,
den | talks nit you little bit.'-HarpeFS
Bdzar.
While There's Life There's Soap
smyth-De Forest, old fellow, you look
melancholy. De Forest-Thats just the
way feel NV case Is hopeless. Smytn
Anybody triflng with you affections
De Forest-Yes, my dreams are haunted
every night by face saw in soap al.--
Nec Hdoen Noes
n
In New Hampshire addressed IAN Ok"
was delivered to Miss Ann knoX.-LoOe'5
Courier.
Politics makes strange bedfellows Aud
the bedfellows do not sleep. They lie
awake watching one another.- Bdttm0Fe
american.
An American opera company has been
imprisoned in Mexico. The Mexicans are
gradually departing from the bitterness
they nourished against this country for
whipping them, and are giving evidences
of friendship toward the United States
Troy Press
Don Cameron says he has heard his
name mentioned In connection with the
Presidency Must have been talking In
his sleep-DctrOH Free Press.
They say ait is hard to get New Workers
far away from home" So many of them
are under bonds not to leave the state we
presume -Lo,oM citizen.
Beer drinkers will be pleased 10 know
that "a schooner 10 be bigger than any
now known" Is in progress OF construction
at Camden.--BOst0R Commercial BullettR.
A vocal authority declares that singers
should have ten hours sleep daily. As fan
as great many of them are concerned
that time should include the evenings
PhHadelphta North imertrdn.
Many young ladies seem entirely fitted
for legerdemain seances. They reject
their lovers so often that they become per
feet In the art of sleight of hand ,--Iart
ford Sunday journal.