Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-04
eUROETTE.


Incubator Hat,hed Chicken.
/ YES said Mr. SiiuwiI a. thcN Were walk
ing home. Il DO enjoy the theatre: | once
wrote Il play myself oh, Mr. S'nwit,"
she exclaimed, with genuine enthusiasm, did
( You really, lhuigh' And what wa- II about,
aud when did yOu write 1t. ana wa, It suv-
cess, and did | ever ~ec It piaycd" I don't
/ know that You ever did" he said. i'll slow,
conscientious tones. 1T was only a short,
one act play; II was a play upon thu word
/ fair | rung in something about tie fare
charged toy tie fair at the fair not being fair.
! | cannot tell u lady what the editor culei
me- but can never forget il And not ten
| DAYS afterward saw tnat very same thing
| in his paper as original" Il believe all
editors are Jealous Of oUher writers" said Miss
/ Giddigirl, because once pa wrote an article
nominating Mr., Cleveland for president, long,
! long before anybody else thought of him, and
signed II Taxpayer - that's pas nom lie
plume. lie writes all these articles signed
| Taxpayer and after election he went To
find 1t to settle dispute, and the editor had
cut the whole copy Of that paper out Of the
file, and said they never Published paper on
the 9TH of July; aud everybody knows IT is
the ith of July l. the holiday. and not the 5th;
pa told him 50, too and the editor said If pa
didn't get rooms in al icehouse he wouldn't
keep through the summer
Il don't see why You can't keep awake IN
church" said the pastor Il am there "a long
as you are and don't have to sleep half the
time" Oh. we'll" replied the deacon, you
just sit down IN the pew and let me preach
and II bet new organ you couldn't Keep
your eyes open ten minutes"
"Toa say You stunIped Texas for the Pro
hihtlon ticket What pecuharity Of your
audiences struck You most torCiblyf' Well,
said the missionary, the chunks OF clay and
pieces Of brick struck Inc most forcibly, but
the eggs STAYED 10y me the longest"
A French scientist, vino diyines character
by staple inspection Of noses, says that "the
quick, passionate, Sanguine person has
strongly CUlur-d nose Of UNIFORM shade
This gives lis a most accurate estimate OF the
character OF the American tramp, Whose
strongly ColOred nose does not vary It's u-!l-
form shade with season or climate And yet
lie has never been accused OF being quick
Perhaps il means that he is quick not 10
work
Where have you been all day ?" asked Mr..
Tr.t. Down town, replied his wife. Cos
sip and tattle, reckon,' No. sir, financial
politics; I've been reducing the surplus
You don't know anything about IL. snarled
the old mau: you're just like any woman
when she tries to talk politics: you've been
increasing the deficit, that's what you We been
doing"
AN INCUBAroR'S oFFSPRING.
am a lone unfathered chick,
OF artificial Matching:
\ pilgrim in a desert wild,
By happier mothered chicks reyiled,
From ali relationships exii-d.
To do my own lone catching.
Fair science smiled upon my birth
One and g1!sty morning.
And now the sounds 81 barny ard I4irth
To lonely me have little worth.
am alone In all the earth
An orphan without bOrning
Seek NV mother would ind
( heartless personator:
A thing brass hded. mSn desiguet.
With strampll~ arteries iuterm.urd
And pulseIess cotton batting lined
Ipatent incubator.
II wearies me TO think. You
Death would be better. rather
Should children e'.r lie born to me,
By fate's most pir!lrss decree
Ny little ones alas. would be
With never "a grandfather.
And when to earth hid adeu.
To seek greater,
| will not DO rs others do,
Who 20 TO join the ancestral crew.
Ior will just be gathered 10
Ny Incubator. -Brooklyu Eagle.