Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-12
WANT ITS.

The man who wants the earth, my son, is the very man the earth doesn't want.-Bur- dette.
 In the chivalrous days of old age, when they tried a knight, they always selected jury ot his spears Washington Critic.
 A new brand of Christmas stockings has been made in Chicago. It holds five gallon demiiohn.-New York Journal.
 A lazy man at the State election sent over to South Boston foundry to see Ii they could not cast vote for him.-Boston Bull letin.
 Passenger (on street car, r,alarmed)-Madam, do you feel fit coming on:
 Madame (haughtily sir; I'm trying to find my pocket.-New York Sun.
 MT. Smartun-"No, Miss Jones, they can't deceive me; am not such big fool as l look" Miss Jones (endeavoring to hatter) -ssNo, indeed-I discovered that long ago." Judge.
 Passenger Gin crowded car)-t'Is this seat engaeed?" Oceupant-'sDon't you see it isl" Passenger (forcibly removing bundles, pla- cling them on the floor, and sitting down. ssPretty comfortable kind of sty, ain't it?" Puck.
 Swelson (after long, long dinner)-- ssDrash sch matches s thati They won't light tall" Mrs. Swelson-fDon't you think, dear, that if you'd put the cigar in mouth along better. Judge.
 Miss Skeen-''Where did you graduate from, MT. Gill9" MT. Gill-"From the school of pharmacy" Miss Skeen (with sur prise)-'sIs it possible2 What a strange choice for 8 young man brought up in the city,-but. If I remember correctly, your grandfather was a farmer oo."-Judge.
 Husband (who has little engagement" on handl-I shall be at the office very late to- night, my dear, posting my books, and you had better not sit up for me.
 Wife-very we'll, John. When get ready to go to bed I'll just say goodnight to you through the telephone.-New York Sun.
 ssMy son, did not see you reading an ac- count of prize fight in the paper this morn ing.n ., ,t ,u;,, navar ravor so long as I live"
 dNever mind about that, my son. I mere ly waEted to ask what you did with the pa- per. Burlington Free Press. A mother-in-law dies. Her daughter is in despair, and her husband endeavors to calm her.
 Remember, my dear, she was old, very old" stYes. but you know she always said she would live to be hundred" ''True, darling, but she only said that to annoy me. ."-New York Truth.
 Miss Dudley, of Canton, passed through the city Wednesday en route for Birmingham, where she goes to open a ladies' restaurant. All whoever ate at Miss Dudley's establish \ ment in this city, where her rolls were perfect passionate poem, the fried ham 8 dream of delight and the baked goose a glimpse of paradise, will feel sure that both success and customers will come to her ln Birmingham.-Jaek (Miss.) Sword and 1 Shield
 ssYou are not only ofensively presumptu- ous, sir, in addressing me as your peerless | Cleopatra but you are insulting. You for, get that Cleopatra was only four and halt l feet tall" And the Prairie avenue young | lady drew herself up to her full stature and looked with regal scorn at the abjeet youth who covered before her. Forgive me, he | said humbly" "When I used the name was thinking of the No. 2 slipper she must have worn-exactly your own size, you too hasty," she murmured softly sinking into a chair and giving him her hand in token ot rgiveness.-Chicago Tribune.