Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1887-08-11
PUZZLED.

PUZZLED.
Gilbert Stuart, one of Americas
great portrait painters, was humorist
and delighted in harmless jokes, such
as excited q laugh but aroused no bit
terness. Once while he was travelling
in crowded stage-coach, in England,
his companions, curious to know the
business of the man who amused them
by his witty remarks, questioned him
closely. In those days gentlemen
wore powdered hair tied in queues. and
ladies built up on their heads poma-
tuned top-knots. Stuart gravely re-
piled to his first questioner, 81 some
times dress ladies' and gentlemen's
hair"
"You are n hair-dresser, then?" said
one of the company.
"What! do you take me for bar
ber?" exclaimed Stuart, in serious
Tone
II beg pardon, but l inferred as
much from what you said; may | ask
what then you are? ?"
"Why, sometimes brush gentle-
mans coat or hat, or adjust crayats.
"Oh, you are valet to some noble
man."
Indeed, I am not I am not serv-
ant-though, to be sure, l make coats
and waistcoats for gentlemen. F"
Hnl, ,,o,, o,o 4, to;lo,,
"Tailor do 1 look like one? I as
sure you that I never handled a
goose that was not roasted"
"What are you then?" asked half-a-
dozen voices, for By this time all We're
laughing uproariously.
"Pll tell you, said Stuart. "What I
have said is literally true. I dress
hair, brush hats and coats, adjust n
cravat, and make coats, waistcoats, and
breeches, and brush also boots and
shoes"
"Ha! ha! boot and shoemaker,
after all !"
"Guess again, gentlemen! I never
handled boot or shoe save for my own
feet; yet all 1 have said is true"
ave may as well give up guessing,
said one of the company; he's too much
for all of u.s."
"Now, gentlemen" said Stuart, talk
ing pinch of snuff, II will not play
the fool with you any longer. Upon
my word of honor, l get my bread by
making faces, and he then so screwed
his countenance, that the stage-coach
shook with laughter.
"There, just as I thought" exclaimed
one, "the gentleman is comedian.
II never was on the stage, and sell
dom see the inside OF playhouse,
answered Stuart.
The mystifed company looked at
each other with astonishment. Just
then the stage-coach stopped at the
place where Stuart was to get off.
Gentlemen, said he, "you will find
that all have said of my various en-
ployments is included in these few
words-f am a portrait painter. If you
will call at my studio in London, !
shall be ready to brush you q coat or
hat, dress your hair, supply you with a
wig of any fashion; accommodate you
with coats or shoes, give you rufiies or
cravats, and make faces for you"
PREMATURE PURCHASE OF 4 cor.
| FIN.
"St. Paul comes as near being the
next world as any place I ever saw,
remarked guest at one of the hotels.
! "I don't understand you," exclaimed
fellow-guest. "What do you mean ?'
II mean that there are more people
walking about the streets in st. Paul
who have been given up for dead than
any other place on the American con.
tinent. Just saw man, apparently
in the best of health, down on jackson
street, who left my old home, Hanni.
bal, Mo-, on cot. He had to be car.
ried to the steamboat, and no one
thought he would live to reach St
Paul. That was twenty years ago, and
he is still alive. Everybody believed
he had the consumption. | was talking
with him, and he told me that he knew
forty or fifty people now enjoying the
best of health who came up here to die
That's what I mean by calling st
Paul a next-world place, and it Ger
tainly deserves the title"
"That reminds me of an experience
with consumptive, said the SECOND
guest, who had overheard the above re
marks. "It was along in the summer
of 1864, he continued. II was stop
ing at the International, at the corner
of 7th and Jackson streets. There
were good many invalids at the hotel
all up for their health. Among tn,
number was little fellow from New
York City. His name was Weed. Hi.
wife, beautiful woman, was with him
He came out, rs his friends supposed
to die. But he didn't think so. He
was carried up to the hotel, and 500,
after his arrival began to improve il
every way. His first walk out of tn,
hotel was to an undertakers shop
where he ordered a casket, saying tha
he might need it, and it would be hand,
to have in the family. He not only or
dered it, but had his measure taken fol
it and paid for it. The next fall Weed
went down to Florida greatly i'm
proved in health. He never called fol
his coffin, so I suppose he had no occa
sion to use it. Sd Paul Globe.
FOR Il ITEDDISG PRESENT.
| The London society papers are jus
now overhowing with enthusiasm ovel