The Irish standard., 1887-05-21
STANDARD" BREVITIES,
A MISTAKE THAT SHE REMEMBERED.

at PAIR OF eyeglasses. Sir, of extra
magEifylng power
Dealer Eyes, ma am; something very
strong?H
Boston young lady-''Yes, sir. While
visiting in the country last summer,
made a very painful blurder, which ]
never want to repeat.
Dealer--s>May I ask what that-er--
b]unter waS?"
Boston young lady - ooh, yes. ]
nlistook bumblebee for blackberry. >
n. Y. Sun.
FORGOTTEN NAME
ST saw the soldiers and the bands out
yesterday afternoon" he remarked, as
he halted patrolman OH Jefferson ave
me.
Yes"
"Any particular reason for it?"
why. it was Washington s birthday.
"What Washington?'
George Washington, Of course
ooh, know several Wasl,ingtons
and J. didn't know but it was one
them. Where is George
"Do You take me for fool?" de
uand.d the officer in indignant voice.
Ono, sir, don't. simply asked yo1
q civil question and L expected a civl
answer
Didn't you ever hear of George
! Washington, the Father Of his Coun-
try"
Seems as if l had but I never in.
quired whether he was dead or alive. 1,
he dead?'
"Why certainly
"What allied him?'
II don't know. ]. believe he had
pneumonia.
E'l'll go over to some of tlie newspaper
offices and ask for back number with
the account in it, How long ago was
it?''
''You go on gasped the officer as be
pointed down the avenue; ''you are too
fresh for this town"
''Then you won't tell ue?''
':No, / WON'T
"All right! Let's see; George Wash
ington--- Father OF his CountrY-dead.
I'll set Chat down and find out about it in
spite Of you. I've seen men before who
were too big for their clothes, and I've
seen ena shrink, too.''
$50 on!''
ooh, I'm going-go1ng right along. /
don't want no fuss with you, but you
paste it in your hat that I'll find ont all
about George Washington before I go
home and be hanged to yon!"-Detroit
Free Press.
BOSTON AND OMAHA.
Omaha girl--"I suppose Boston has
changed greatly since I was there
Boston girl--"Oh, Boston never
changes; it broadens somewhat, evolutes
possibly, but practically it is as Change
less as the laws OF the National Base
bail Association. ~
Il thought perhaps theosopby was
having an effect
f'Theosophy, dear. is nothing new in
Boston, though 1 confess the theories
were until recently unformulated
Everybody now reads the Occult World,
and some OF the ladies are such enchus-
lasts that they take copy Of the book
with them to the baseball games and
pound it against volume Of Emerson
when player makes a good point''
Emerson is still popular, then?''
"Indend, yes No other thinker has
yet been able TO project theoretical
sphere which Emerson's philosophy
could not hit and knock clear out of the
field"
II did not know Emerson was theo-
sophist.''
tsHe does not call himself one, but
Prof Mike Kelly does not call himself
an artist, yet we all know he isl
''I thought ut one time that the Swed-
enborgian doctrines would take fast root
in Boston, but --'
ssYou were mistaken. Swedenborg
merely toyed with great truths with soft
gloves. Bostonians prefer straight from
the shoulder, bareknuckled realism in
their graspings after the infinite.
Dreams are but dreams after all, and
they should no more be confounded
with asserted facts than nightmares with
actual contests, Marquis of Queensbury
rules. I trust I make myself under
stood?'
''Pardon my lack Of comprehension,
but you know we have not the advan-
tages here in Omaha which Bostonians
enjoy"
Il presume not, but you Will nevel in
all these intellectual delights in the
course OF time. Prof, S11llivan's arm is