Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-11-25

AN
A Foot rule-never wear sho.,
small for you. w
Give a man six feet of earth 49,,
will take knell. ' ae
MAN was created first. Womon
sort OF recreation. D Sss
No MAN ever gets to be so Good y
he can afford to monkey with w. wat
saw.-Carl Pretzez. Jug
SOMETHING very "Dutchy" abont q.
Germans. They speak of o geptlam su'
as herr instead of him. Life. A''a
WE would like to see sn0,,
weather sufficient to rust the hines VI y.
the toll-gate. Journol
THE mosquito is like the dude J..
cause there is little hope for him ot w.
he gets misunderstanding Dem r,e'
crat.
1.-TWO KNOTS an hour isn't such ",
time for clergyman" smilinglv sa;a
the minister to himself, just after no
had united the second couple.
JUDaE-Have you a statement f.
make? Prisoner-No, your homo,
don't want to commit myself. Ju1ca
I'll do the committing. Ninety dav.
sir.
MAG1srRArE-It's $40 or thirty day,
Uncle Rastus, You can take yon,
choice. Uncle Rastus (after some con.
tenplation)-Well, yo' kin gimme 1s
money, san.
"PA," said Lucy, "Charley has
horse that he says is good for a 2:N
gait" EYES," was the reply, "asl
speaking of gaits, I noticed last nigh,
that you and Charley were both good
for 80 gate" And Lucy changed
the ubject.-lterchaat Traueler
con, Rowena," exclaimed Voltigeru
Tapemeasure, dropping on his knees
without struggle, "your beauty fires
my heart" my daughter" said Old
Hengist Wheatcorn, entering the room.
II will divide the contract with you; ii
will fire the rest Of him." Which bs|
did.
GLOW H1DEous Miss Blakely looked
in that new bonnet" II thought Il
was very becoming; at least the trim.
ming was very appropriate" II didn't
notice the trimming" "The bonnet
was trimmed with ivy leaves. Ivy is
very appropriate; it only clings to old
ruins"
The latest craze among the young
ladies Of New York is a hair album
made up of locks of hair contributed /
by their gentlemen friends. Youngl
mon who are prematurely bald cannot
find terms sufficiently strong in which
to express their contempt and loathing
for hair album.-Teras SUti,,gs.
"N[l DEAR" said fond papa to his
daughter, why don't you get married?'
II will, papa" replied the young lady,
las soon as [ come across a gentleman
who dosen't drink, nor smoke, nor PLAY
billiards, and who goes to church regu
larly." "And, my good child, solennly
replied the old man, "you are buta
stranger here, Heaven is your home.
PHILADELPHIA CAL.
WHEN a Newman man lost his fine
trotting horse, he only smiled; when
his house burned down, he promptly
rebuilt it without a murmur; when his
only child died, he simply remarked
that the Lord giveth and the Lord
taketh away; but when his wife spilled
a bottle of beer, he crawled under the
bed and howled for two days and re-
fused to be comfortcd. -Ncmmas IN.
dependent.
"YEs," said Mrs. O'Halloran, "Patsy
met wild bad accident, sure enough
How was it afther happenin'? We ASH
1t was loike this: He was wurrukln,
ms ye know, on the new sewer an want
payin' much attintion to things an 50
happened to have his pick up in the ar
when the six o'clock whistle blowed an
ov course he lets 60 ov it an looks Ter
his coat an the pick comes down on Ills
fut Be gobs, it'll not happen so again
fer he swears he'll not sthrike lick
wild the pick after quarr-r-ter past
e!"-Dakota Bell.
THACkER1Y'S DESCRIPTlON OF H.
GUSTA, Ga.
When I had finished at Charleston
went off to q queer little rustic CITY
called Augusta great broad street
two miles long-old quaint looking
shops-houses with galleries-warc'
houses-trees-co and negroes stroll
ing about the acknowledgements ROADS
"a happy dirty tranquility generally
prevalent. 1t lies 1870 miles from
Charleston. You take eight and one
half hours to get there by the rall~as'
about the same time and distance ~
come here, over endless plans o.
swampy pine-lands-a village or 'Sp
here and there in clearing. brouSH'
away q snug little purse from SLUG