The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22


The way is quite stccp.oh
That leads to the decp.oh.
| slipped on a grapc.oh
Just by the day-poh.
In Il store near the dec.pOt
| bought this small tea pot.
Perhaps, TO end the agitation.
Wed better hcnceforth call it station.
II is claimed by some medical men that
smoking wcakCns the cycsight. Maybe II
does, but just sec how it strengthens the
breath.
The man who intends To camp out next
month should begin to prepare for il by
sleeping in the back yard and eating raw
meats.
fr'cnd-l on don't mean to say that YOU
understand French, Tommy? Tommy-O
yes, do: for when pa and ma speak French
at tea | know | m to have powder.
What pains n father more than the cry
of his infant childY" asks some one. We
don't know, unless it is the cry of his in.
FAINT twins.
\ recent article is entitled "A Poet on an
Editor We cannot exactly understand
This, but perhaps he grabbed him while his
back was turned.
IT d now stated that George Washington
used I" 60 fishing occasionally. This en-.
iirciy upscts the assertion that he couldn't
tell Il lie.
\ celebrated physician Boosting at dinner
mat ne cured his " hams, a guest oh.
served, doctor, ! am glad to hear that
You have cured something"
he newspaper astronomer who saws that
there are only four thousand stars visible to
tn" naked eye has never tried roller skating
On I'll" back OF his head. .
The richest man in Oregon began bust.
ness by tanning calf skins" SAYS an OK
change. This is the first time we ever
heard OF u school teacher getting rich.
The following toast was pronounced at n
lircmcn's dinner, and was received with
grca' applause: The l~adies--thcir ewes
kIndIe the only flame against which there
IS no insurance.
AZ Washington every one takes his after.
noon walk on the avenue rs rc~ligiously ms
he goes TO church on Sunday, and actuatcd
largely by the same motivc-to see other
people.
SAYS Il philosopher, no thoroughly oc.
cuplrd man was ever miserable" Probably
this philosopher never spent n forenoon
among his friends trying to borrow a five.
dollar note.
Western horses arc not so hardy nor so
ScrViccahlc as Canadian horses, owing TO
The general use in the West of corn instead
v oats and peas which are fed to horses in
Canada.
y correspondent asks if the sharps I'm
music do not virtually include the flats.
We don't know how it is in music. but
IN tn, mmusiCal turmoil of everyday lie
the shGIpS always take in the flats.
Don't spend your money for n motto of
~. N1.s. -, H. - ..-.l --
ont your back yard and disinfcc,ed the
vaults and sewers. Cholera doesn't care n
continental for notices.
Prof. Proctor says that without water
there can bc no volcano" That Ohic)
may be So, said old Bcasly. and without
wliSEcy there Ohic) would be fewer crup
lions mt home.
ihoy didn't pick that stuff soon enough.
dId thoy, mamma?' asked n little boy as he
passed Il grocery where several cakes of
L'inbargcr were taking a breathing spell
outside.
Mis-. H. II. Mccall, Of Mollard Creek, y.
G., has recently given birth TO her third
par OF twins She has been married Ii
years and IN This time has presented her
n'lSpAnd with rs children, Of whom II still
live.
Mrs. BasCOm says she does not sec what
they want to make SO much fuss about
whether prominent Americans have coats. |
OF arms or not. She says if 1t was coats |
without arms it would be something's talk |
about
81 say, boss, groancd an old darkcy |
VINO mad broken his leg, and was being |
bUndlcd rather unCcrcmoniously into an
ambulance. "yo may not blievc il, but it |
iuriS a cuIlud man jess ua much ter git his |
leg broke us it do a white man"
"llaye a stove plate, "A thick one, riveted |
IN my hat, he said sadly to the linsmith. |
and haycthis jacket lined with sheet.iron, |
double thickness in the back, and put
drcSt scott! MIR. s., have you gone |
crazy. mo; I'm to umpire a game of
Dasc Dali tomorrow. I'm going to make |
my will now"
Now, you tell me / have a fair memory. |
. great capacity for learning languages, a
large bump of vcneration, and a wei. dc.
Vclopcd head generally" you have" |
said the phrcnologist. rs there anything,
asked the man under examination, In the
e%nberancc of his joy, that my head needs
to make it absolutely perfect?" "Yes." |
"What is it, pray?" Washing"
TO AN l. DRESS COAT.
look at thee dolefully, dear old dress coat,
FOR numbered, | fear, are thy days
Or rather thy nights-and no more canst
thou float
On waves of the walters wild maze.
Tho prcsser's best skill cannot make thee
appear
a newly bought garment again.
So here's for our follies a smile. and a tear
For hours too bright far to remain.