Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-12-09
OUR KALEIDOSOOPE,

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"Digg Brothers" is firm of Southern
coal dealers. First rate sentiment for
business men.
Boston lady: professor, tell me can
didly, what is the most beautiful thing
you every saw ~
Eminent biologist: "a cross section of
a rats tail, madam"
California man Did you ever 90 to
Goldleaf, near Oakland ? Slowest town |
ever saw ~
Real estate agent: What makes you
think 50 ~
California man: why, | spent whole
night there, last September, and they only
got two miles of cottages up between sun
set and sunrise"
Miss Travis; Tell me, DEAR how do
you distinguish the walters from the gen
tlemen, at large ball 20
Miss De Smith: "Oh, don't know.
The walters generally have distinguish
ed look and are more graceful"
An exchange has an article on where
all the Pins Go to-" While it is working
this vein we wish it would tell us where
all the umbrellas 20 to.
In Japan, when Il gentleman calls upon
lady, it is always the custom for the
lady to give the signal for his departure
In this country the signal is usually given
by the lady's father or some other male
relative.
Stranger, in New York hotel, accostng
important looking individual: Can
you break a 800 bill sir ,"
|. l.. individual "Of course | can.
Handler over. Come up, boys Whatn
y have :"
De Smith: well, Travis, how are
you ~
Travis; "Oh, Pm robust. How are
YOU
De Smith "Plain bust"
"Soled again ~ exclaimed the coboler,
as he handed to Dumpsey his tshoes, re-
built for the third time.
Montana coroner's jury renders a YER
dict of died of softening of the BRAIN"
over the remains of horse-thief whose
head had been mashed with a club.
Now that the season for fiannels has
arrived red Tuesday often follows a
blue Monday.
"Talmage," says a writer works on
his feet" From their appearance in Ger
tain cartoons, we should say he ought to.
on DREAMS
There are some very remarkable things
about dreams. In the first place, they are
twice as real as reality. Did you ever fall
down stairs in dream? If you have, you
must have observed that it is much
more terrible experience than falling
down stairs when you are awake-eXcept
that you don't have the bruises to nurse
afterward. But the mental experience OF
falling down stairs in dream is some
thing awful Coasting down cellar on a
bar of soap is nothing compared with it,
Then there is another curious thing
about dreams. They repeat themselves,
like history. The same old dream-pos-
sibly in a slightly different form-keeps
coming around once in so often. Perhaps
you don't recognize it at first, but after it
has sat on your bosom for while, or, if
nightmare has given you a familiar
kick or two, you begin to think that You
have seen it before.
After person gets to be about 20 years
old there is nothing new under the sun (or
noon in dreams. They are all chestnuts,
and those that follow mince pie are all
horse chestnuts. Some of them come
around oftener than others, and you get
really attached to them. If you don't
dream them about once month you be-
gin to get low spirited and think that there
is something the matter with your diges
ton. And now this disquisition must be
closed with pointer, viz: There is
nothing like judicious abuse of the stom-
ach for the man who enjoys real exciting
dreams wit some plot TO them.