The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-07-30
Chestnuts.
Washington, d. c.

Did we read the Queens speech,
PATTI" "No, | did not" Sure We
ought. She gives good news of
Uncle Mike and his family in Amer
lea" "Docs she though An
what does she say of thin ?" Sure
she says our foreign relations are all
right"
81 don't know what you mean by
not being an Irishman," said gem
tleman who was about hiring boy.
"But you We're born in Ireland
"Och your honor if that's all"
said the boy, "small blame to that.
Suppose your cat was to have kit
tensfn the oven, would they be
loaves of bread ?"
Canon Wilbcrlorce after visiting
Maine and sojourning in Portland
as the guests Of Hon. Neal Dow, is
reported as saying in Boston:
"lf any man says that prohibition
does not prohibit in Maine, he lies
-nuder a mistake
German professors are proverbi-
b ally absent minded, but none of
them more SO than Professor Dusel,
of Bonn. He noticed, one day, his
wife placing large bouquet on his
desk.
what does this mean p he ask
ed.
"Why this is the anniversary of
Aour marriage replied Mrs. Dusel.
Zach is that SO? Well let me
know when yours comes around
and I'll reciprocate."
A song with the title, There is a
Sigh in the heart was sent by a
young man to his sweetheart, but
the paper fell into the hands of the
girls father, Il very unsentimental
physician, who exclaimed, "What
wretched, unscientifc rubbish is
this? Who ever heard of such a
case p
He wrote Oh the outside Mis-
taken diagnosis no sigh in the
heart possible signs relate entirely
to the diaphragm
A Texas clergyman relates that
as he was vending his way to the
sanctuary on the sabbath he saw a
boy with fishing rod over his
shoulder going in the opposite di-
rection, when the following dialogue
cnsued, the clergy taking the mia
tive.
Don't you know you are bad
boy?7
Eyes sir.
Doesn't your father ever punish
you"
"Ies sir last summer he made
me go to Sunday school twice
The latest story about little Mas
ter Stuart Crane, the precocious >
year-old son Of William II. Crane,
the commedian, is to the effect that
as the sweet child was sitting in his
nothers's lap the other evening he
broke out with the question
Mamma, amt the stars lust the
tacks in the carpet Of Heaven o.
Al year old, who is about to give
a birthday party, has sent out richly
mounted invitations reading in this
way:
MY mother wants to know il
your mother will let you come to
my party"
Here is one of the answers, writ
ten by little girl
"My mother told me to ask you
to tell your mother ! cam come to
your party
endorsed kid is the hvorit,
material for SLIPPERS says fashion
journal 1t may be added, thai
slippers are Doi iayoritc matcria
with the undrc,sed kid
A Little Rock man sold his cook
ing stove to get money enough t.
take his family to the circus, Whcl
one Of his friends demonstrated witt
him, he said. I'VE had no use for tn,
stove. Had nothing to cook. Blu
why didn't you buy something Il
eat with the money you got for tn
stove?" "Then we should have ha,
nothing to cook it on. Don't talk t.
me. Pm Il philosopher" lie mus
have been relative of the Arkansa
man who had no roof on his shanty
When it rained he couldn't build j
and when il didn't rain he had II
need of it,