davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

a New York dudinc accompanied by
a pug applied at the ticket-oiiice Of a
country railroad station.
cam required to purchase dog
tickotg' she asked.
go no, you can travel rs an ordinary
passenger ~ Siftings.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

'Let the weather be as hot as il may,
there is one place one can go and always
be sure 90 find comfort"
"Where is that, pray?" said Gubbins,
wiping the Precipitation from his brow.
'I'Il 90 il IL IS two miles
'In the dictionary" - Evansville
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

Mrs. ferger-'Tm afraid there's some
thing the matter with Tommy"
Col Herger---"What makes you think
sog'
HE sits in a corner all day long and
don't say anything to anybody. Either
he IS going to be great poet. or he is
going TO have the measles, can't vet
decide which il is. "---[Siftinos.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02
Fools Rush In Where, AsseI. Fear tc

SO impetuous youth v often given To folly
and indiscretions: and, as n result. neryons
mental and organic debility follow. memory h
impaired, self-coniidcnCe Is lacking: at night
Dad dreams occur. premature old age seems
setting 10, ruin Is In the track. In confidence you
can and should write 20 DR. R.N. Pierce, Of fiuf-
Ialo, ~ y .. the author OF treatise for the ben
symptoms and suhcrings. He can cure you AZ
by mail.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

And General Debility Doctors disagree NJ to
the relative value of Cod Liver oil and Hypo-
phosphites the one supplying strength and
flesh. the other giving nerve power. and &C ing
~ tonic % the digest We and entire system
But In ScoTs's EMULSION Of Cod Liver OIL with
Hypophosphites the tso are combined, and the
effect Is wonderful. Thousands who have de-
Rived no permanent benefit from other prepa-
rations have been cured by this. SCOTS Emul-
sion perfectly palatable and Is easily digested
by those who cannot tolerate plain COD Liver
OIL.
The responsibility Of tolerance lies with
those who have the wider vision
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02
CapffnL nnd Lnhnr.-

When young man sits in the parlor
alking nonsense to his best girl that's
'apital. But when he has to stay in Of
evenings after they're married-that Ia
0or.-l Merchant Traveller
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

suffering from functional arrangements or any
oi INC painful disorders or weaknesses Incident
20 the sex, DR.. Pierces treatise illustrated wit
Wood-cuts and colorcd plates (ie0 pages suQ-
gcsts sure means OF complete self-cure Sent
Tor ~ cents ~ stamps. Address Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Association. Buffalo, n. "
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

The tzcatnnsnt % many thousandD q Co.
sie.sss esessse . s s2siess = 90 sAs si ossf
H .s EN-. and sorsicsi Inseisuee Bseslc. =, z
Ing ma ssorosshiy ssssins rs J. ~; foe IS
. q: ss:rs..s H !: -
niaia rsecived non pefiesis ana fro.n pSys;-
Sssea ssa oS"s.nsss 49, So n u &c Nd ga
Their skin. prove Il 90 DO The mo-. wonderfuI
suferinS women. It i not rccommendsd s = y :
onrc-an nus q most perfect specific for
Az . powerful, invi1orasius senio
ana . the womb ana Is sp S1:s s:sHi e
dressmsiers. seamstrcSscs. ssSopsSsrs hoass.
Esssta Dr. Fe9s ssss r sss sefs,s xSso
70 the greatest earthly boon. being uneq1sied
AZ soosk ing ana spO .sse sSuaSs sS In
ne5vsnes .favorife Prescription" - une-
saa L .ns.!sseS L. syn s2a sub
haustion, proetration, hysteria. spa1ns and
osy pos sns crsss
sleep and relieves mental anxiety ana d.
Dr. Pfe.cc,s Eav orite Prescripsien
II 2 Legitimate nealcinc, carefully
physician, and adapted 70 Woman ma del hS
organization. 1t 10 purely vegetable in II
eects 10 any condision y the sI ssem IN r ,s
morning eckness or nausea from whatever
cause arising, weak stomach. indigestion. dyo-
pepsia and kindred symphonic, fts use, In small
oo e vii, Prove very benencial
tive cure for the most complicated and OBJ
etinate cases OF lcuc0rrhea, excessive fioWfnr
painful menstruntion, unnatural suppreasions
Proiapsus, or falling of the womb. weak back.
bearing-down ecusations, chronic Connection
Inflammation and liberation OF the womb In
Illumination. pain and tenderness In ovarico.
accompanied with internal heat"
,,ans, 1919 r,cgu,a .s and promoter Of funo-
from girlhood to womanhood "Fayorfte Pre-
ecrlption Is perfectly safe remedial AGENT.
and can produce only good results. IL 10
equally emcacious and valuable In its effects
ments incident to that later and most critical
period, known as The Change of Life"
"EavOrite Proscrfpti0m,s >, when taken
IN connection with the use Of DR.. Pierocs
doses OF Dr. Piercc's PurFativo Pellets (l.stfle
Liver Pfllsl. cures Liver Kidney and Bladder
diseases. Their combined use also remove
blood taints, and aholishes canccrous and
scp Fa%ori nSm9ss from the sys,em
medicine for women, sold by druggists, under
facturers, that L win give sstisfSctson Ia eyery
case, or money win be refunded. This guarsn-
tee has been printed on the bottie-wrapper,
and faithfully carried OFT for many years.
Large bottles geo doses) el.OO, or SIX
,Fo For large, illustrated Treatise on Diseases of
cents in stamps. Address. ''N ''''
Worlds DlspsnsaY Medical lssselatIss,
663 Main 81, BUFFALO, N. Y.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

80. - thcre no physician there -
Thanks 70 DR.. Pierce, there II a balm in his
Golden Medical Discovery balm FOR
every wound" TO health, from colds, coughs
lung and liver affections. OF druggists.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02
Consumption, wasting Di.en.c..

Industry has annexed thereto the fairest
fruits and the richest rewards.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

Ini it bc said that a man who cult
Yates the full force and energy Of his
mora. character need never fear that he
VIII iaII victim TO the suicidal tendency
'I civilization. For it is sad fact that
-..'drtruction follows the triumphs Of
education, cultivation and civilization.
Philadelphia News.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

That + half granted which is denied
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

<angaroo-spring. 80
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02
Good Health

fou cannot have without pure blood; therefore. N
Keep well purify the blood by taking Hoods sar.a
p~is. ms medicine Is peculiarly designed 70 ace
uion the blood and through that rrson Al, ~.
and tissues OF the body II has specific action air.
upon the secretions and and a-~sss
70 expel from the system all humor- impure psrti
cles and effete matter through the lungs liver bow
eta Kidneys and akin. cfrectuaIiy aids weak I'm,
paired and debtitascd organs. invigora,~~ sb. n.r
vous system. tones the digestion and imparts nev
NE and energy TO all tho functions ct the body.
Hoods SarsaparilIa
Sold by all druggists o; sx for g. Prepared op,,
0s y HOOD q Co. Aroshccaries. Lowell. Nasa
100 Doses One Dollar
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-02

lfsniicted with sors eyes uss DIR Isaar Thom y
sons Eye-water- Dru9gists soll II Sc per boeti,
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
New Kind of Sleeping Car.

The sleeping berths, instead of being folded
up and slowed as top hannpering, are on slides
that stow them in a compact form at one end
of the car, out of the way entirely. The
chairs or lounges can be folded out of the way
on the floor, and are not used as part of the
makeup of the sleeping berths. The berths
can be moved out on the slides by compart-
ments. as required, leaving the balance of the
car open with the features of parlor. The
weight of sleeping berth paraphernalia,
when moved Away on the slides, rests on the
car trucks, and does away with much Of the
cumbersome building peculiar to sleepers.
The berths are light and comfortable. and it
is claimed that the upper berths will be pre-
ferred, because all berths are private, and
there is an absence of danger from over
weighing at the top. The model shows it to
be an interesting invention that is to be given
practical trial in full sized sleeper that
will be built for the new company. -Balti.
more Sun.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
One WAY to Sober OF.

A well known sporting man, under the
influence Of too much wine, occupied a
chair in one of the most popular and fash
ionable of the down town resorts of bank
ers, brokers and merchants, and so stupid
was he that the best efforts of his friends
to keep him from public exhibition were
long unavailing. Eventually one of the
barkeepers shook him up bit, when he
aroused somewhat, but fell off in a deep
slumber again. In half an hour another
and more successful attempt was made,
when he incoherently inquired as to his
whereabouts. He then put his hand into
his trousers pocket, took out penknife
and asked the barkeeper to open the
smaller blade. 'This is all o K,'' said
the latter. Its the old racket. He won't
hurt nobody. You'll see" And then he
slipped the handle end into the grasping
fingers of the old sport, who opened his
mouth and made three or four superficial
incisions on the roof. Within a minute
after the flow Of blood he was upon his
feet, and under friendly guidance reached
the door, and when last seen he was walk
ing up the street as straight as bee flies.
John Morrissey was the first man that I
saw do that" said the barkeeper, as he
tossed up a coffee bean and dexterously
caught it in his mouth.-New York
Times
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
Two Clever Counterfeits.

Did you ever hear of the maple sugar de-
ception at the state fair in Detroit few years
agoi MOI Well, it seems some fellow up
north made wager ths; he could uanufact-
ure substitute for maple sugar that would
deceive the judges into awarding him The first
premium for pure maple sugar. He did 50.
producing the article from cheap grades Of
brown sugar bought in this city and raanip-
ulated under the eyes Of people cognizant Of
the bet. He carried his certificate OF highest
merit home and proudly hung it over tie
nantelpiece in his best room, a tribute to sci
ence, whish had scored a victory over The
honest granger.
think the man who succeeded in produc-
ing a counterfeit oyster which deceived tie
epicures Of Paris deserves the PAIN Never
heard Of il. Now, thst's strange-thought
everybody knew it. Yes, a man over in
France-Bordeanx. thinks manufac.ur-
ing an oyster now which Is rapidly supplan.-
ing the natural bivalve. They are coiored by
q mineral wash and fastened 10 genuine
shells with glue, which dries to the seEab!ancs
Of the cartilage that binds the natural oysser
70 his sheu-Beton Herald.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
HOPE.

In her sovereign eye-light all things are,
Clear as the closest seen and kindlier star
That marries morn and even and winter and
spring
With one loves golden ring.
For she can see the days Of man, the birth
OF good and death of evil things on earth
Inevitable and infinite and sure
As present pain is. or herself is pure.
Yea she can hear and see, beyond all things
That tighten from before Times thund -ous wings
Through the awful circle Of wheel winged
periods,
The tempest of the twilight Of all gods;
And higher than all the circling course they ran
The shutdown Of the spirit that was man.
-Swinburne
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28

New Form of Bank Notes.

A new departure Is being taken by ole 81
,bs principal Scotch banks regard
ing tie form of It's notes II = wei known
tia. the RISK Of forgery. esT--4aily u pho
tozrsphy, i n5w greater than formerly, AID
The Commercial bank q Scotland las net
th;s difficulty By concentrating IN is re~
Issue Ri possible guarantees against imitation
Nv that means The notes are prinissi from
s.ees plate on back and front II corns4aatsoa
Of co,oys. The Stocxholier.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
Machine Politics.

'Do you know, my friend said very SOL
enln political individual, that when you 81
lently drop that snow white ballot from your
fingers it floats down in rhythmic grace and
settles the destinies of a nation!- NO, sir:
don't" replied the impecunious voter; but
know when | drop it into the box it settles
my bargain with the boss O this ere ward
Hartford Post
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28

III Is certainly true tnat physician viii
only take his own medicine with the greatest
distaste. This is a common accusation made
against the profession, but it is true and has
an easy explanation. When man is his own
physician he does not look at SYMPTOMS in
that calm, dispassionate way that the pby-
stefan must have in diagnosing a patients
case. He is prejudiced witness, and. like
any other mortal, he exaggerates his illness
and imagines himself having all sorts Of
things. He is apt then to diagnose his case
and overdose himself You know a patisn.
always believes himself more i'll than be
really is A physician is aware OF this. and
he Is the first TO call in medical aid when he
is sick
know very prominent specialist hers
whose advice on certain diseases is almost alb.
solute, Vet he is the..victim OF wonderful hallu-
cination when he becomes Ill, and actually
treated himself for a chronic disease for soma
time before he could be persuaded that he
SIMPLY needed a rest Hence there is GOOD
reason for one doctor calling upon another
ior treatment II is the same with regard to
physicians family. He seldom treats his
vile ana children, because he fears that the
natural affection for them would lead him to
overrate their complaints Thus all the fs,ni.
lies OF physicians have their own doctors. and
they exchange courtesies gratis Physician in
Globe Democrat
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
-aESSNLlz~-
9ai11 eagle
ny LADY. i.a.sE5 Iss,s

MY LADY. t.a.sG5 HGss
-, Ny lady sleeps;
Rhythmic ebb and flow of fairy bil!ow
| Her breathing soft. Silken fringed her hds
s close fold
Her cheeks, twin roses, and Ger the pillow
Sweeps her hair, tangled floss Of FURNISHED
e gold.
Ny lady sleeps.
My lady dreams.
On parted scarlet lips play tricksome smiles,
Deepening the dimple in her dainty chin.
Portrayal bright how ''wanton mirth'' beguiles
The mind, that sleep from wearying care
{ shuts in.
t Ny lady dreams.
My lady wakes.
Fair visions flee. The fringed lids unclose.
Though dreamland miSts still veil the violet
eyes.
One moment languid waking blends repose,
{. And then Mammal Mamma:l Mamma.li she
~ cries.
My lady wakes.
- H !. Hemenway in Saturday Traveller.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28

Under new edict just promulgated in
Japan criminals are not to be executed singly
When there is one he must wait until there 10
another to keep him company.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28
Thank You" I'm England.

In the United States one can say
THANK you" in return for some service
without mourning the danger of being
taken for servant or person in n posi-
ton where he is not above being tipped.
To say THANK you' in England puts you
at once on level with the people who
have their heads set at an alert angle. on
guard for the coy shilling, the nimble SIX
pence, the familiar ''thrippence,m ''tup-
pence" penny or ha'penny. Thank
YOU" pronounced either Thank 70" or
THANK yew," meets You at every turn.
You cannot say word 10 any of the
small tradesmen or the servant class
without hearing it as a reply to your
every sentence which is not a direct Gues-
ton. Among the few people in the linn
tied circle where tips are not expected or
received, grateful Acknowledgements are
expressed by the phrase, "Thahnks," or
''Thahnks awfully. The Argonaut.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-28

By mixing chloride OF zinc with paper pup
during its manufacture, the paper Is made 80
tough that il can he used FOR making boxes,
e,1ulls. roofing and boots
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-10-02

with the sharp edges Of life he closed
out his deals and invested the returns in
such way that he now enjoys salts
factory income and is comparatively
happy. Although mon of great liter
airy ability, Georges natural bent is to
wards the opera, and it Is probable that
he will ere long be figuring as the cen
trail figure in some leading opera COM
pany. Not Italian, for George has no
understanding of that language beyond
macaroni and banana. He was not
giving out the object of his Southern
visit, but a friend who enjoys the conf
dence of George intimates it is for the
purpose of organizing an opera company,
in which he will risk the greater part of
the fortune he acquired in Duluth
through real estate deals. If the COM
pany Is organized it will play this win
ter in Southern towns and George will
take the leading tenor parts in all the
operas, played. The intention is not to
play comic opera at all, but present the
heavy article and depend on the merit
of the artists to draw playing houses.
1t is gOOd-siZed scheme, and one that
requires considerable nerve to attempt
to carry out. L. ID.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-10-02
TWO MEN IN COLORADO.
Mussetter and Macdonald Take a
Trip to the West

Trip to the west.
Lathrop Mussetter and Dr.. Angus
Macdonald returned Friday morning
from weeks trip through Colorado
and Nebraska. They stopped in Denver
and Mussetter says that city is enjoying
big boom. Property that is selling
here for $1,000 front foot is selling
there for $1,000 and people are buying
it at those figures. Dr.. Macdonald says
Mussetter started to walk over to the
Rocky mountains one morning before
breakfast and he didn't get back till
after dinner. He got out on the prairie
and young steer that was roaming out
there began to toy with him. MusSetter
is good runner and he kept the steer
busy for a half hour gallOping after
him, but after while his wind began
to play out and he made for stunted
oak tree that grew ON the margin of a
stream and succeeded in reaching the
first edition of branches just in advance
of the steers horns. Mussetter climbed
higher and got an easier seat while the
steer lay down and complacently chewed
his cud all the time keeping one eye on
the man III the tree. A couple of miles
he wondered if Macdonald was think
ing and dreaming of him. A quarter of
mile away was farm house and a
half dozen men working in
the field. Mussetter hallooed at
them until his bronchial tubes
refuse do work without effect, and then
he settled back to calmly wait until the
farm boy should come up to drive the
cows home. About 2 O'clock man
with dog came along, and the steer
turned his attention to the canine, and
while thus engaged Mussetter Skinned
down the tree and galloped over to a
tall fence from the top of which he
watched the fight with the owner of the
dog. Much to Mussetter's qualification,
steers nose and legs and then made his
escape. They visited the garden of the
gods, and Mussetter says DR.. Mcdonald
carried along with him two Seyen-shoot-
erS and a Springfield rifle because he
had heard porter at the hotel say that
about this time of the year the garden
was full-of brigandS. The doctor said
he didn't want to run any risk of being
stolen and his family having to pay
three or four times his intrinsic value in
the form of ransom to get him back.
he insisted that, although armed to the
teeth, and even above them. he ran
some risk of being kidnapped. In an
isolated corner of the garden the doctor
got excited and shot cayuse that an
explorer had left tied to big boulder.
He said he thought when he shot it was
brigand or bandit in disguise, and
he didn't propose to be taken mean
advantage of. 1t cost the doctor S55 to
replace the dead cayuse.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-10-02
Newspapers as Educators.

Omaha World.
Reform Teacher-O, we are using the
newspapers for everything, even for
word definitions.
Omaha Man-It must be rather diff
cult always to find the right word in
a connection which will make its mean
ing clear.
Il manage that by going over the
papers in the evening and cutting out
paragraphs which will do. The only
trouble I've had lately was with the
word ambiguity Newspapers are so
concise that could not find sentence
which would illustrate it,
How did you manage with that?"
Il clipped out the tariff plank in the
Pennsylvania Democratic platform and
read that to the Children,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-10-02
The Way Made Plain.

Boston Courier.
sfThht boy'' sold proud father, who
was an amateur phrenologist, shat boy
was born to be great fighter-nota yul-
gar pdgilist, you understand, but a
great general or some thing of that kind,
but" and he hove deep sigh, ''the
world is moving, peace waves her olive
branch, there will be ne more wars and
he will never have chance to ,distin-
guish himself"
''If he was born for fighting" said the
''How, Maria, howl"
1--WE can make him member of a
church choir.''
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-10-02

Elmer E. Overpeck, who looks down
on ordinary individuals from his pomp-
Gus attitude, is shown up in all his grace
and pulchritude what i'll the above cut.
He is what is commonly known as
ruStler and has by personal effort lifted
himself from book agent and writer of
insurance policies to the exalted posi-
ton of contracting freight agent OF the
Wisconsin Central railroad. There was
time, long ago, when a spring over
coat was warm enough for Elmer twelve
months in a year, but when the snow
falls down on the air nowadays he in
Sists on doing himself up in heavy
chinchilla article, blue black, and lined
with silk. Last winter. Overpeck blew
himself in for a very elaborate OvercOat
that was the envy of every man who
passed it. One day while he was hoist
ing in a cargo of yictualS at his board
ing house, the coat hanging in the hall
caught the eye of a sneak thief, who APP
propriated it and that same moment the
coat PISSED forever out of Elmer's range
of vision. He claimed the loss of the
coat was a mere bagatelle, but there
were letters in the inside pocket, con-
tanning bits of hair, pansy blossoms and
he would have been pleased to
have preserved. A few years ago
Overpeck lowered around very near to
the heart of the mayor of Fargo, OAK,
and if he had stayed in that town long
enough, his chances for being chief of
police were good, but he developed too
rapidly for that town and fled to larger
fields, where his ambition could expand,
and, he has no reason to regret that he
left that country, from whose bourne no
traveller returns unless he walks. In
looking at the above cut one does not
find the chief points Of attraction about
the subject. His beauty lies in the deep
blue of his eyes, his broad, succulent
smile and his Suaye manner. Face to
face he is irresistible, and his smile
never fails to catch carload of freight.
That is why he is so successful in his
particular line of business. He always
carries an elaborate walking stick, and.
when he starts out to sing you song,
he places one hand under his coat tails,
losses his head proudly in the air, says
e-r-r-r, just to clear his throat, and then
the MARBLE begins in good earnest.
Elmer is young man yet He has voted
but three times, and he is but now on
the verge of brilliant future. At pres
ent he is deyoting himself to the rearing
of a full-dress beard, that promises to
be a chest protector before the snow
flies. The beard doesn't appear in the
above cut for more reasons than one.