Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-02-11
FUN.
ALWAYS in luck-the letter +

Anoas SuOD,
RAILWAY stock-street-car horse,
A MAN of the period-the comno.;,
The man who occupies two seats
crowded railroad car will get on1,
six feet of earth like the rest Of n.
Most people look forward to an
ing with pleasant anticipation, \
poor Russian, however, never TAIL
knouting if he can avoid it.
IT WALKED the floor all night
the toothache," said he. To which
unfeeling listener replied. aYou ii,
expect to walk the ceiling with Il
you?"
If you are just gone on q 70,
woman, my, son, do not color n
mustache, for we have good autbol
for the statement that "true love y
dyes"
CoLoRED people r not allowed
use the sleeping-cars in the Son
Happy people! They r the
ones the monopoly will give a
berth to.
CONDUCTOR ION night train)-Tb
trunks will have to be removed ia
baggage-car. Lady passenger
those are my feet! Conductor
from Chicago.
AN eating-house keeper advert
for "a boy to open oysters abou
years old" An oyster ought to be
to open itself long before it reaches
fifteenth year.
ScHooL-TEAcHER - Now, MAJ
Kirby, suppose 1 should say, II DID
have nc fun at the picnic" How wd
you go to work and correct me? Mad
Kirby-I sh'd say you'd better st
grammar, teacher.
GIVE me a little more of the vi
chuck, please, my DEAR" says Fun
man, to his better-half at break
"Woodchuck! What do you me-
There's no meat but sausage on
table" Perhaps that's the art
They used to call it woodchuck wba
was a boy. Ground hog, you know
Chicago Ledger.
M1N1srER-You ought to come to
church, John, and to our Sum
school. Chinaman-What fol?
We want to try and do you good
save your soul; in short, to make yo
Christian. C.-Chlistian! No, no.
lather be heather Chinee. Heat
Chinee hult nobody. Chlistian Cd
and bleakee my window. - Dos
Courier.
Two HARD-LooK1NG cases were sta
ing i'll front of q butchers shop wind
filled with meat and poultry when
first asked: GLOW much of that Cd
we eat, Jim?" "Ihe hull of
"Without stopping?" mo, OF cc1
not. We'd have to stop to drink al
a gallon of champagne and comp
how cold-hearted the world has
come. "--Detroit Free Press.
LITTLE Charley, A years old, Isl
ready much elated at the prospect
being put in pants. He is, hove
sorely troubled by the thought Of \
he shall wea when going to the tail
to be measured for them. "For,
says, II won't want to go in o dd
and 1 shan't have you make I'll
mamma, or any woman folks; they
know how to put the right kind
pockets in!"-Babyhoo0.
SOME children take naturally
practical view of things. A little
was saying her prayers the other
ing, closing up with "God bless
and mamma, little sister, and Ell
body, and keep us from harm
night. Amen" The "little sister
br~ight-eyed puss of S years. quietll
marked: "If you'd said everybody
begin with you needn't have made
q long prayer boston Budget
MANI come to tell you about
gas meter. For the last three mont
Gas Office Clerk-Yes, we kno1
about it. You've been out of town,
all the pipes have been sealed, yet
meter registers 1924 feet.
have to pay it all the same. Man
are mistaken, sir. I have burned
all over the house and the meter
registers sixteen feet. I thought
notify you of the discrepancy. Gig
I-I-why, sir-(falls dead)-P
delpAia Call.
A HEARTFELT TO LET.
She had my heart-she rented it awhile;
A~fa;r-haired, blue-eyed, gentle tensntee
And half in mischief, half in truth, in gun
When she departed, carried of the key.
II.
And SO Ihave a vacant heart "To Lett
The sign is pasted up all over me;
And yet I can no worthy tenant get.
Because it's locked and she has got the
III.
L'ENvoI.
Now hath my heart to me grown worthless
No other tenant would I have save thee
Forgive POUR landlords accidental slight
Come bach, and you shall have it, osS