davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

eyes," said Fogg. las success !
have always been failure, but as a
failure I have always been success. "
Accident News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

Editor (having glanced at the con-
tributor's joke) Where's the other r.
Contributor.-"Other! There isn't
any other"
Editor.-"Um! thought Noah
took two of every kind into the ark.
It'd Bits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

"Women are greatsh-hic-de
ceivers," said Mr.. Jones. leaning ur
against the bar. "Thersh-hic-nc
trusting 'em. Thcresh my wife. She
said-hic-the other day the nextsh
time-hic-I got drunk she'd 60 home
to ma. Ish been drunk ever since
and she-hic-hasn't gone yet" IN
Y. Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

A girl may be like sugar for two
reasons. She may be sweet and she
may be full of grit.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

Women will never make good base
ball players. They are too much ad-
dicted to the muff.-Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

The most wonderful fight on re.
cord was when the chimney Aue.-
Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

The dynamite cartridge which was
to kill the Gar was shaped like a
book. This would indicate that the
Emperor's troubles are increasing in
volume.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04
WIT AND HUMOR.

A literary swell-a dropsical nov
elist.-Charlestown Enterprise.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

First director.-"I am afraid we
shall have to pass dividend again" "
Second director.-"We can't do it."
"Can't do it 7" "No; the Interstate
Commerce law doesn't allow us to
pass anything. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

Why are we always so much more
rejoiced at finding dime than earn.
ing a dollar It'd Bits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

ave got the most money" he
shouted across the street as he held
up nickel. II don't keer fur that.
My fathers been arrested" SOS
mine" But they took mine down
in patrol wagon, and yours had to
walk. Detroit Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

A gentleman just from New York
city tells me that everybody in the
great metropolis is laughing at Mrs.
Langtry. One of the morning pa
pers there a few days ago asserted
that the reason the professional beau
ty never appeared in tights was be-
cause she was knock. kneed. 1t seems
that the article SO incensed the ac-
tress that she addressed card to the
journal, denying that her legs we're
crooked, and offered to leave the
question to a committee Of FIVE. Her
card was published, and before ten
o'clock the same morning there were
5000 gentlemen who offered to serve
on the Into Mystery Commission
Louisville Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

Again the wiseman steps to the
front. He says: "If man empties
his purse into his head, no man can
take it from him." He does put it
there sometimes, emptying it by way
of his neck, and the wiseman is right
for once. Next morning no living
man could take that head from him.
By'r hallidame, Sir Grammercy, i
good sooth do we believe the wise man
has been there himself. Whence else
this bookly lore 2-Burdette.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

"Joe. it's n shame your boat got
left in the race. You, ne out third"
"Yes, Bill. F,ra, b., the Yale
stroke"
"And Fetters I"
"He had the Harvard stroke"
"And your"
"Well, l had a sunstroke. ."-Phila-
delphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04
Detroit, Bay City & AIpena R.R,
Time Table No. 8.
Michigan Central X. IL.

TRAINS GOING NORTH. TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
A. Nj. 2. NJ A. NJ. PM
s3j $40 Lv Detroit. Ar II 10 900
Pm.
i245 $50 " Bay City Lv 200 AS
26s II Ss Ar Ager 42s 220
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04
Special Attention Given to Furnace Work.
WM. Il. MAIDEN, III. ID.

Physician, Surgeon, Gyn@colo ogist, ETC.,
Late Asst. Surgeon U. s. Army; Examining Sur
geon for u S. Pensioners, and all the principal Life
Insurance Co.'s. Residence and office on second
ST., nearly opposite the Union House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-05-04

'Flag stations
II. NJ. REEVES, MILO EASTMAN,
Agent, Alpenu Genn Supt
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Dancing vs.. kissing.


T. W. Higginson, the noted magazine
writer, in Harper's Bazaar has this to say
about dancing and kissing:
1t may be asserted, in general way,
that wherever in the United States you
do not find dancing you find kissing. In
communities where dancing was disap-
proved have seen String games" called
for and carried into practice at entertain
ments held in schoolhouses and even at
church sociables. In such places church
members-.and, for aught I know, deacons
take part in the amusement; and have
seen it develop friskiness. SO to speak,
IN grizzled men, which made them any
taste. Among those of earlier years kiss
ing becomes, IN such communities, q sys.
tematic pursuit, like hunting or fishing.
Young girls whose parents object to it
are neglected or disliked. A young man
in such village told young lady friend
of mine, with some indignation, that she
was the only girl in town whom he had
not kissed. 1t is of no use to object 10 it
as immoral where the church members
are committed to it. Perhaps it cannot
be called immoral; but when society has
reached certain stage of refinement such
things vanish. The symbol of that in
creased refinement is usually dancing.
Dancing, whatever its drawbacks, serves
practically as the antidote to kissing
games where one begins the other dies
out. They do not seem to flourish side
by side; at any rate, young people rarely
go back from dancing 10 kissing. Grant
ing, for the sake of argument, that it is
necessary to have some amusement, the
choice lies, in our villages and their scat
tered families, between these two forms
of relaxation.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
A Singular VILLAGE.

In the Cevennes mountains, in cen-
trail France. there is village named
La Beage, the inhabitants of which
practically live underground great
part of the year. 1t is 4, $50 feet above
the sea and in the bottom of O pass
where the snow is rapidly heaped up
by the winds. AS soon as the snow
begins to fall in large quantities, says a
recent visitor, the inhabitants retire in
doors, and it is not long before the
low-roofed cottages are buried, the
only means by which air can reach the
interior being down the single CHM
ney, which in all the cottages is bulls
very wide and substantial. The snow
gradually mounts so high that the door
will not open, and at last the windows
are blocked up. The inhabitants lay
in good supply of bread, cheese and
salt pork for themselves, and of hay
and straw in the clubhouse for their
cow and horse; and, although the men
occasionally 60 out by way of the
chimney, the women and children live
in the fetid atmosphere all the winter.
They spend their time making cane
chairs and baskets, doing a little rude
wood carving, and knitting stockings,
while, if the snow does not melt in a
month or so, the people hurrow tunnels
bis county, his fortune going far up, into
from house to house, and SO get a
little society. Should a death occur,
the body is roughly coffined and laid
upon the roof until thaw makes tho
cemetery accessible. Y. Sun.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
So PERYEAR, IN ADVANCE.
plements, wagons, farm tools. etc. In a
word, he could not be worth less than
$15,000 This man had sort of impress

plements, wagons, farm tools, etc. In
word, he could not be worth less than
$4,000. This man had sort Of impress
sion that he earned little or nothing in
word, to use his own expression, he
just managed to keep things gelng."
Yet he had not only made living for
himself and his family, but had accumu-
lated $15, 900. And yet, beyond certain
shrewdness and judgment, this man had
no special ability. and, according to his
own admission, he had no educational ad-
vantages. Gould he have done better or
as we'll in any other line of lifer On the
other hand, we have constantly present
cases where men have started IN with
some capital farming and lost it all. or
are worse of to-day than they were fifteen
years ago; while the cases are legion
where. after painful struggle with fer-
tune, lasting ten. fifteen or twenty years,
the farmer has succumbed to the tempta-
ton of selling his farm for twice what he
paid for it. and, taking what was left
after paying mortgages and debts, has
made another move westward to begin
life anew under, let us hope, more favor
able auspices. But is 1t not fact that
IN most of these cases the victims of what
they call i'll luck are men who would not
have risen anywhere to higher position
than that of mere laborery?-[Ex.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Farming a, = Business,

The writer met a farmer who declared
that farming was the poorest-paying busi-
ness in the world. and yet in the course
of conversation it turned out that twenty.
three years previously this man had ar
rived IN one of the western states with a
wife and something less than $1O and
gone to work on farm. To.day-or
rather at the time of meeting-he was the
owner of farm of 1sO acres, worth, with
improvements, not less than $85 an acre.
In addition he owned some good stock.
including pure.bred bull, five good
horses, and fair plant in the way of i'm
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Sllo Calno Not.

If you are standing around railroad
depot about the time some train is ex-
pected in you needn't look twice to
identify the man who is down there to
welcome his wife. She has been away
three weeks, but the time seems like
three months to him. He was never so
glad in his life as ut the thought that
she is rolling towards him as fast as
steam can travel.
There was such man at the foot of
Brush street Saturday. He expected
his wife on the Michigan Southern
train. He rushed up and down to see
If the train was OH time. Then he
rushed out and engaged hack. Then
he promcnaded up and down and
wiped his brow, and he was still at it
when man who had been across the
road to wet his whistle with old rum
came slouching back and inquired:
"Expecting some one, chP"
"Yes, sir. "
.'Ycs.
"Bin away long?"
''Over two weeks"
Coming on this trainp"
Eyes"
"Wall, I dunno,' continued the man,
rs he rubbed his back against the ticket
window shelf. II wouldn't be too en-.
thusiastic about it. Wimcn are mighty
onsartin. I've had two of 'em run
away from me. Isyour wife any hand
to make acquaintances while travel.
ing?'
"No, sirr'
Couldn't be induced to clope7''
"Sir! Do yo1 intend to insult mep''
'Gosh! no. I wouldn't insult no.
body nor nothing. Could your wife be
carried away by good looks and lots Of
moncy?'
'f you wasn't an old man I'd thump
you for your impudence!' exclaimed
the husband as he grew red all over.
"You would! Well, I won't talk to
you. If your wife comes in on the
train, all right; if she doesn't you
needn't blame me-"
He went into the sitting room, and
presently the train came in. The hus-
band lodged abou, rs if he was walk
ing on glass, and the passengers came
out one by one until the coaches were
empty. There was no wife. 1t was
ten minutes before the husband could
give up, and when he did and started
out doors the old man lounged out and
said:
II told him! I've lost two wimen
just that way, and I knew what waa
talking about!'-Detroit Free Press.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
The First watsr.

Tribune, Sunday: Let it be recorded
that the first water ever pumped out Of
the Missouri river at this point by the
Bismarck Waterworks Company was
drawn yesterday afternoon and sent gush.
ing through several hundred feet of pipes
to the reservoirs on the hill. The cons
pany has established system Of pump:
ing to supply water to the workmen at
the reservoirs for the making of mortar
and the other necessary purposes of CON
struction. The reservoirs will present
the finest piece of masonry in the North
west when completed.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
He Ap0l0Rixad.

1--WE must apologize for the wretched
appearance of the Calliope this week, :"
says one of the Dakota Bells territorial
exchanges, 1--WE having been utterly un-
able to do the paper justice. Our wife
arrived from the east early in the week,
and, instead of fighting 1t out with the
lady we married since coming TO this
place, they both fell upon us and pounded
us very nearly to jelly. When we ex-
plain that we write this holding the pen.
cll with our teeth the reader will readily
see how impossible it was for US to make
this issue what we would DESIRE"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Brewcrles Not a Necessity.

The Washburn Times, commenting on
the promised location of q brewery at
Washburn, says: The tendency of the
popular will toward prohibition of the
liquor traffic is too marked throughout
Dakota to encourage the investment of
capital within its borders in the brewing
and dlstilling interests. The want of the
great Northwest is net more breweries,
distilleries, and saloons, but fax mills,
woolen mills and factories, artisans, me-
chanics and farmers, with concomitants
that tend to elevate and improve, instead
of to debase and destroy.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22

Correspondence Of the RECORD.
- Fire was discovered in the residence of
s. E. Coover recently, and before it could
be got under control it consumed strip
along the entire ridge of the roof.
Cause. defective stovepipe. No insur-
ance. For the third time in as many
years the Rev. g. T. Williams has organ
lzed Sabbath school in our schoolhouse
Formerly the school has gradually de.
clined until no one came. This year will
be an exception, however, for the officers
are determined to make the work inter-
esting. Miss Alice Carpenter is superin.
tendent, and Miss Mary Casselman secre-
tary. A cordial invitation is extended to
all. .... Alta special meeting of the school
board. held Saturday. L. T. Buckley was
elected chairman and H. w. Allen clerk.
:".Dave Yeater, Frank Hart and Billy
Beard began work on the railroad Mon-
day. Frank posed as an expert road.
scraper, and the way he made the dirt fly
would scare a forty.niner. go. Mrs. Carl
tGoodrich is on the sick list. .. {. +. .Severt
Haigan lost valuable COW recently IN
the creek. -. The new mail. carrier, Mr..
Hughes, of Steele, made his first trip
Monday. The people of Armstrong hope
to get their mail more regularly in the fu-
ture. .... Hamilton is the name of the
new camp on Avon Walkers clam. .....
Where is Road Supervisor Brown7 What
is the reason he don't lay the tile in the
slough north Of the school.house, and let
the railroad I'LL over it? Next year it
will cost 500 to dig down and put it in.
JIM Crow.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
ME AT MARKET.

For all kinds of fresh, salt and smoked
meats, fish and game call on the enter.
prlsing Bismarck firm of F. e. Stone &
Co., corner Fifth and Main streets. Their
rule is to keep a fresh and pure stock
and dispose Of it at the lowest living
goods cannot be excelled on tie Slope
Our readers should give them call.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22

combined to give the grain an unusual
growth. and now nothing can prevent q
good yield throughout Emmons County.
The Judge Is finishing his we'll, sure
enough. Robert Dixon is assisting him.
Does the Judge 60 down in the hole and
dig the dirt? He does not. Robert goes
down in the hole. The Judge does the
harder and more responsible work at the
wlndlass.
Mr.. j. 0. Harms, of Bismarck, repre-
senting the Moorhouse hardware and
farm machinery house, was. in town yes.
terday on his way home from trip to
the Beaver Creek country Mr.. H. was
surprised. not only at the good condition
Of our crops, but at the green appearance
of the prairie.
1t is hardly necessary to call the atten.
ton of our citizens to the fact that the
drug firm of Dunn s. Co., opposite the
Sheridan House, Bismarck, keeps on
hand at all times large stock of fresh
and pure drugs, which will be sold at the
lowest prices. Give the firm call and
be convinced of the fact.
Messrs. Plante. Redoutc and Turner, of
Herschead, were in town Tuesday. They
report that crops of all kinds are looking
we'll. Their neighborhood was visited
Monday by one of the heaviest rains of
the season. The gentlemen have all had
good luck in digging wells, obtaining
plenty of good water at from "a to 81
feet.
If you have to purchase groceries,
of course you want them to be of good
quality and sold at reasonable prices.
And in this connection we will say that
George Jennings, the Bismarck grocer, is
establishing an enviable reputation as a
merchant whose groceries are fresh aud
pure, and one whe sells them at a low
margin of profit. He also makes spe.
cialty of fruits and vegetables.
The Misses Connor, Cell. and Keim, OF
Williamsport Township, have during the
term just closed, made public to the tax
payers the progress of their school work,
as shown by the standing of scholars. 1,
is good idea, and is often the means OF
raising the ambition of the little folks tc
show good average much higher than il
would be without knowledge that the
figures were to BE- published. Teachers
throughout the county are invited to senl
IN their school reports for publication.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
On Deck AHafn.

II any one has supposed that Mr.. w. B.
Watson, the Bismarck pioneer and dry.
goods merchant, intended going out Of
business, he has been laboring Under an
error. for Mr.. Watson has just received
from the East one of the finest stocks of
Dry Goods ever brought into the city.
these ~, goods he intends to dispose Of at
mons County are cordially invited to call
and examine his goods and learn prices.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
gs- ~ af-- ~ t-F'ala. - l-ts'
Notice Of Final PROOF.

+ AND OFFICE at Bismarck, Dak.; July ~,
L1Ss7. 7.-Notice is hereby given that the fol.
lowing named settler has filed notice Of her i'm
claim, and that said proof will be made before
the Register and receiver, at Bismarck, Oak. /
on Sept. !, 1887, viz: s, 1!s tt es
BESSIE McNIEL,
For the southeast quarter Of section q, township
1876 north, range 76 west. She names the follow
ing witnesses to prove her continuous residence
upon and cultivation Of said land, viz: Jasper
Denham, Edna r. Connor, Charles Edick, Mrs.
D. r. Streeter-all Of Willialnsport, D. 4.
.5 JOHN "A. REA, Register.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
The Lava.

The authorized edition of the Dakota
Session Laws of 1887 was printed ~ !the.
Bismarck Tribune, and the books are now,
being delivered. The book .is the largest
of the kind ever printed in Dakota, and !,
besides the laws. contains the organic act
and all subsequent acts Of congress affect.
ing Dakota. The laws of last session
make many important amendments to the
Code. The retail price Of the laws ID S3
for half binding and $s.aSs for full cali.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Furniture and Undertakinx.

Webb Bros, Main street, Bismarck, d.
T., have the finest stock of Furniture in
the city. Emmons County people are in
vited to call on them and examine their
stock. Undertaking speciality. All Or
ders in this line promptly attended to.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Fashionable Dressma mak ing.

Mrs. E. Ham, Main street, near Ban
ner House, Bismarck, Oak, guaran-
tees a good fit and has all the latest
fashions: Cuts by French system if de-
sired. Is thankful for past favors, and
invites continuance of the same.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
Danb ury.

correspondence OF the RECORD.
Crops are looking we'll here. 90. Mrs.
r. A. Procunier and George have re-
turned from the railroad. d. L. Chap.
man came home from the grade, on q
visit. and found big nine. pound boy to
welcome him. IL. s. Chapman lost a
valuable mare the other day. F.. w.
Hodgkinson has returned from the rail.
road. The other days. party consist
ing of Mr.. and Mrs. L. Koker, Mrs. r. A.
Procunier and Mrs. George Chapman
went to Winchester to get some groceries
for harvest. .... MIR. L. Koker has his
blacksmith shop nearly covered. He has
some brush and few rocks on it. Har.
vest will begin in week or ten days.
D. L. Chapman will 60 back to Apple
Creek to work, and Charley Chapman
will go with him. ....A man in this
neighborhood was hauling water recently
on stoneboat, with yoke of oxen. He
was walking behind the barrel, sort
O. day dreaming and looking at the sky,
when one end of the rope slipped. The
barrel stopped, but the oxen went on, see.
ing haystack ahead. The man had firm
hold Of rope to drive the oxen. He
couldn't let 60 quick enough. and they
hauled him over the barrel and left him
standing on his head with his bregans
sticking IN the dir like shoemaker sign,
''~- ARGUS.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22

u T. HERRIcK,
1Is Attorney at Law,
Williamsport, D. T.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22
COUNTY NEWS ITEMS.
WincheSter.

Correspondence of the REcoRD.
The crops are much better than was
expected q few weeks ago. The bar:
ley in this vicinity is about all harvested.
1t was fair CROP Mr.. A. Potter
made trip to the Capital this week. :. "A
heavy rain last evening. Some of the
boys are talking of going away to har.
vest. .... Mr.. Burge had yearling heifer
killed by lightning during the storm of
Sunday. the 10th. h...... "Doley" Hubbard
has erected very substantial Dakota
brick house on his claim. and is finishing
it in No. style. 1t is 16x30 feet In size.
JAY.EYE-SRE.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1887-07-22

Il OUIS q. PETIT,
~ PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
3 eF Williamsport. Oak.