The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-23
BRIGHT BITS.

"WHY do yon make that knot in your hand
kerchef?'
oh, so that shan't forget that charming
melody. "-Gcfnta1t Paper.
MISTRESS TO new servant-We have break
fast generally about o'clock
New Seryant--WCu. mum, if amt down to it
don't wait.-Hdr7oe,'s BdzaT.
You've PHYSICIAN (yho has just lost a patient,
to Old physician)- Would you advise an autOp-
Sy, d0ctOr!n
Ola .RAYaiolall- -"No; would advise an in
quest. PUCK.
ANXIOUS GRASDMAxMt Cwatchful of widowed
ana coquettiSh daughter-in- law}-.j Johnny, go
down stairs and if Mr. Brown is with mamma
tell her want to speak to her
Literal rendition by Johnny-Mamma grand
ma says if Mr.. Brown is here you re to come
right up stairs accident NcGs.
A YOUNG LADY went into store TO purchase a
diary, and had about concluded to secure one
shown her, when she charged her mind and
said: Il guess I'll take purse for the diary"
An old lady standing near, and who only par
italy heard the foregoing announcement, went
over and said in load whisper Miss, don't
you do it, take blackberry cordial y-Boston
Budget
Mrs. BRIMMER-I don't see when a man has a
good trade why he should prefer to he burglar.
Mr. B-Who are you talking about;
Mrs. B-That man who was caught breaking
into a store last night. He's machinist.
Mr. B-Who told you THAR
Mrs. B-The paper says that while be was at
the station house and the officer was making
lis report the burglar made a bolt for the door
-BOStOa Budget.
STRANGER-What in the world are those great
entertainments forg
Omaha Man-They were left by grading the
street.
But don't they cave ing
Sometimes
And they must kill people who happen to be
under them?n
n,,~ =.
would kill the horses. Omaha World.
Miss GusHINGroN- What! Europe,
Miss LuShington-I didn't mean to say it. but
it's out now.
Miss G.-Well, misery loves company. We are
going there, too, this summer.
Miss but you have q place at Newport
Miss G.-Pa had TO sell it.
Hiss Ii don't see what s got into business
My father announced last evening that every
thing had failed, and he couldn't even afford n
cottage at Long Branch We've got to sail as
soon as the season opens,-NeW Orleans Pea
yune.
A STORY is told in regard to christening in
the lower end Of the city. Mother father and
infant were on hand Also the godfather The
good old priest proceeded with the ceremony
until 1t was necessary to name the child The
godfather, usual in such cases had written
the name on card, and when the ceremony had
reached this point he dived into his vest pocket
and handed out one. The priest took it and n
look of horror came over his face The god
father turned fiery red, went down in his
POCKET again, reached out another card handed
it to the priest and received in return the one
he had first given the good man. and the cere-
mony proceeded without interruption The one
he had first handed TO the priest read: Il am
somewhat Of al liar myself. n-Peoria Transc1iDt
OMAHA PATERFAuLIAs (reading)-Mourning
dinners are the latest Parisian folly Twelve
young ladies, dressed III the deepest mourning
and heavily yelled compose the party The
dlnIng-room is draPed in black, silver wreaths
and tombstones take the place OF pictures. The
chairs are shaped like collins set on end and
hung with immorteiies. Knives and forks have
bones for handles and the champagne is served
in skulls. The dinner is eaten in silence to slow
music.
Omaha Daughter-Are they given by people
who lost relatives:
No. The papers say it is only within. but l
don't see how the guests can keep from laugh
ing at the Righteousness Of it,
Maybe, papa, invitations are only issued to
young ladies whose fathers have refused them a
new dress omaha World.