Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-31
BRIGHT BITS.

ONE good drink of Jersey lightning will
make man feel like thunder.-Life.
PATKR FAMTLIAs-So this air the Paris sa-
loom Wall, l swan! Jis like them air New
York saloons, Only-er-where's the barr
Judoe
FOND mother with baby-He does look SO
like his father, doesn't he?
Mr.. B.-Yes. but [ shouldn't mind that, as
long as he is healthy.-7he Ju30s.
WHAT lively tales They always have
wags in them" said smyth, looking up from
his book. "What tales?" asked DeFOre-t, alb
AeDs.
kIND-HEARTED OLD GENTLEMAN-There
there, don't cry. Be little man,
Injured Chld-How can he a Little man
when Is a Little g-g-girl? Boo hoo !-Hdr-
pe''S Young People.
TO-DAY, oh girl. the man you love,
Calls you his bird, h duck, his dove;
But when your bonnet bill he'll scan,
He'll shrek. "Oh, what pelican!"
-Burdette, in Br0OkLgG Eagle.
IT was an Irishman at the race course who
offered to bet $50 that the third horse II
come In first" A score of bystauders offered
to take the bet with q spontanelty that caused
the Mlles!an to withdraw his bet.-B sion
II dHScrpt.
A GENTLEMAN writes to the Evening Post
on the subject of spirits and beer. One point
he fails to make is that too much beer MAKES
one lose ones spirits, while an over-Indul-
gence In spirits Is only too likely to result in
premature bier.-Li[s.
WHEN Nature would amuse herself she
makesa fool. When we think that some of
the members OF the Arkansas Legisl ature are
presumably some of Natures work, we must
conclude that she has had considerable
anu, ement.-A rkdRSdO TrdUeLsr.
A FARMER once called his COW Zephyr"
She seemed such an amiable hephyr,
WheE the farmer drew near,
She kicked of his ear,
And now the old farmers much dephyr,
DRY Goods Chronicle.
MINISTER ITO boy who is digging for worms)
Little boy, don't you know that it il
wrong to work on Sunday, except in cases of
necessity?
Boy tgoing on with his digging)-This is
case OF necessity. A teller can't go fshin'
'thout bait.-BrOOkiyn Union.
REVENGE Is SwEET.-Omaha MAXWELL,
those FrenchmeE just beat the Dutch. They
are bound to have revenge, see.
Omaha Dame-W Thy, have they declared
war on Germany?
mo, but they are selling the Germans
Panama canal stock.-0mahG World.
A GRoCERYMAN was dying OF consumption.
"Ah. sighed his pastor, 1.-THE sands OF life
are running out, but he sweetens his last
hours by the cOnsolato1s of religion"
"Ugh," grunted a deacon who had bought
groceries of him. 1.-THE ruling passion strong
in death; he still puts sugar In his sand, /
see. - WdshiagtnR Critic.
JOHN BULL-Say, Brother Jonathan, things
look rather squally on this side. Got any can
non you want to sell?
Brother Jonathan-Ho, no! Had to come
TO me after ALL did you? Yes. Pve got a fine
old stock, but some of the carriages need fix
ing.
I'VE don't want the carriages"
slow under the canopy do you EXPECT to
use the guns, then?'
I'VE want them for touch holes. "-OnaAa
World.
WELL, are you bracing up for the season p"
Yes, I'm trying to get in shape. | thin K
| I'll be In good trim by the time the season
| opens"
What are you doing for yourself?"
| why. whenever n particularly disreputa-
ble-looklng tramp comes along make him 80
maj that he hangs round and abuses me for
| an hour or SO at a stretch"
| "O-an-yes | see. Going to umpire this
season. Thought you intended to play in the
| held.''-Pits6ur0 DiSDdtch.
"WHAT repairs will you make if I take
| the housef" she asked after looking it ali
| over.
"Why, ma'am, I'll be very liberal"
| gut what will you do?'
| "Well, Ill see that those two panes of oil sss
| are put in fix this trout step, and"
| About the painting?"
| "l'll promise to look for a painter and ash
him how much he'll take TO go over the hon. q
one coat, and if he's a responsible party. ami
| his figure Is reasonable, and the weather
| holds goId for painting. why, Pll-. say
suppose put in three new window lights and
| let the painting go2'-DetrW F,S4 PIesS