davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
ShonIifters in CITY stores.

A floor walker thoroughly posted on
shopdftcrs is worth $500 or $4,000
year to any one Of the larger stores. The
Piukertons Of Chicago tried to establish
a branch Of this kind Of detective work
among the leading retail stores Of St.
Louis, but were not successful in tb0
attempt The very best Of the profess
sional shophftcrs do not visit auy one
store oftcner than probably dozen
times a year. They know almost as soon
as one trying to spot them that they are
watched. The most successful racket
they work to conceal their identity is
the wearing Of heavy black mourning
veil. A few years ago they generally
carried a basket and were more easily
caught. Customers in general soon
became aware Of the fact that any one
carrying basket through a store was
closely shadowed, and they dropped the
habit, until o-day it is hard matter
to find a woman with one, unless it is
the hard working German. A male
ghoplifter is very rare, and during my
twelve years experience in St. Louis l
have seen but one.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
He WORT Stay Long.

Billy BIiven is awfully unpopular
with the landlady, amt he2' said one of
the young lady boarders, referring 70 a
young travelling man who had recently
taken up his abode there.
yes and I don't wonder at it. Did
you see what he did this morning. lie
u t waited until he knew she was look
ing and then he put three spoonfuls OF
sugar in the sirup."
"He didi | guess he won't stay
lone. - Merchant Traveller.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
Mechanical Effect of Steam.

Suppose we tate acylinder, say piece
of iron or brass tube, closed securely at
the bottom end and left open at the top,
and the area Of the cross section to be
one square inch. In this tube place a
cubic inch Of water, and over it place a
steam-tight piston, to which a cord from
the centre should pass over pulley hav-
ing weight hung at the loose end,
just sufficient to balance the piston, then
We have a simple device for demonstrat
ing ths mechanical effect of steam.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
An Enthusiast.

Doctor" Have you taken your pills
regularity
Patient "Every two hours as di-
rccted.n
Doctor "Did you eat nothing except
what told your
Patient Nothing"
Doctor, enthusiastically shaking his
patients hand-''My dear sir you are a
model patient. You deserve to be sick
youdo. -[Siftings,
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
An Unsuccessful DAYS Snort.

Young Sportsman Ito farmer, from
whom he hired a gun and dog for a
day shooting give lost the dog"
Farmer-"The dog came home 70 If
hours ago What's the matterI"
loan9 Sportsman Why, | fired eight
times at duck, which proved to be a
decoy duck, without hitting it, and then
the dog howled and started cross coun-
try. He's no good, Mr. Hayseed; and
that gun kicks like thunder" ."
Farmer II should think it would kick
Ike thunder. .
Then farmer Hayseed went around to
the back yard, where the dog was gnaw-
ing an indigestible bone, and gave him a
pat on the head and couple of French
chops -AeD York Sun.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
How the japanese Go to Bed.

There is great deal of difference in
the beds of different people. Our beds
are quite low, as you know, while French
beds are so high that step-ladder is
often provided for getting into them.
German beds are furnished with feath-
er bed to put over you, even in the
warmest weather. A traveller tells
about japanese bed. It is eight or so
thick silk wadded comforters piled upon
the floor; upon this very ample wad-
ded coat is placed. You slip into this
great coat, put your arms into the long
sleeves fold it over and sleep. Tho pill
low is block Of wood placed under the
neck; but it feels too hard, and l carry
rubber pillow to take its place. A
paper lantern is lighted all night for
the people arc much afraid of the dark.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
The Dear Old Songs Of Home.

N DOW Vtu 6uHHH VI HuhVe
y wheel sublime OF tircless time,
Iu backward in your flight.
Ring out the chime in fairy rhyme
or boyhood's mudc bright
Like bells Of joy outringing,
Tho e memories old are ciinging,
Now faint, now near again hear
In accents Gear whereer roam,
My mother sweetiy singing,
Singing, sweetly singing,
The dear Old songs of home,
Make me boy, with boyhood's Joy,
As in the days of old.
When ruddy blaze before our gaze
went up in sparks Of gold.
! see the kettle swinging,
The shadows round it elinging,
iii once again in swte refrain,
On land or main, where'er roam,
hear my mother nging.
Singing sweetly singing,
The dear old songs Of home.
AT set of sun, when dly was done,
Like silver Ginning bells,
ko on The air, with evening prayer,
The sorg we loyel well.
Still in my ear they rs ringing,
And memories old are bringing,
Like gentle shower, of boyhood's hour,
With sub 10 power vhere'er roam,
OF mother sweetly singing,
Singing, swestly singing,
The dear old songs cf home.
No time can BIO this fragrant spot,
This ch ms of silver bells,
But oft my heart with sudden start
The secret surely tells.
Then mid the glad bells ringing,
With holy thoughts upspringing,
Now faint, then clear again hear
In accents dear, where'er roam,
My mother sweetly singing,
Singing, sweetly singing,
The dear old songs of home.
fired f. Woods in Current
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
HUMOROUS.


The real estate dealer doesn't waat
inc ea''hi he is always trying to sell It.
The position Of jllge is an exceed
ingy trying one.
The stockholders motto: Man wants
but little here bolow-par
The only man in business for himself
who ever strikes, is the pugilist
IIc-Eut l want to marry you. She
Yes, that's just where the hitch comes
in.
Birds in their little nests agree. And
yet the younger ones sometimes fall
out
The man who propels a wheolbarrow
sees ms "ofA aheaa ol MN au INC
'i'uU'
"'n man IS 20 ne knows some
'N'us "ncu nc y 40 nc "isheS nc khe"
sunni ''iiis'
The Declaration OF Independence was
signed on Friday. 1t was an unlucky
day--for England.
"Tho people like tvrantsn - saws n
maoozine writor Nayho ti,op, ,ybv
tho noonIo oet ,norr;oa
r
in0 sisn beware inc Dog IS not
'u"e up '""' i'o "io i'i'iS may ie"''
ms was inc most uuNinaeSt cut OF
~, s'Sueo 'le you'n plseoh' o'a'olN'
- ~ so19u oh 'uo iii's'n'Pon trousers
"'iiel ms '"i'or sent
a certain cynlcal Dacheior can't un-
aefs'ono wny II IS women are cailea loir
creatures lhey nave oeeh anything out
lar 10 hlm' he thinks
Boston sirl-Ahl see Miss De Peyster.
"na. s'"os'u' ea'r'aS9 si9 mus
o",e@so s'''-- s, Dus & H'' 00'e''''i'''
= : = : A'' ''
..... = - ~ ls1le0n o so1'n s''ssS I
- cot. - ;ato bnsinoas far himself
then the word shows up in good
shane
A laborer in Vermont recently bought
a lot OF land which subsequently devel-
oped into very rich marble quarry.
His was hard lot, but it had compen-
sations.
Bride (on shipboard at seal feel so
sick, my dear, and if Ishould die and
they bury me here you'll sometimes
come and plant flowers on my grave,
won't you9
Don't be a fool, she said, with a
snap, to her husband "Why didn't
you tell me that when l asked you to
marry me2" he replied, and silence fell
upon that house.
oTbere is somctbino in tb,s little fey-
low Hike nsaid IN annreciative visitor 70
l,,or.,, - .uo.4; IL
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
Imnnrtnnt Infnrmation.

What is the matter with
youf9
Paticnt-'I find it very difficult to
breathe with my lungs"
"Doctor--'My friend. you would find
it still more f1icult to breathe without
,cur lun IS. "--[Sftings.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
Ayers SarsapanMa

is the only po,cerfl and altcags reliable
hood-purifgiRg medicine. 1t is so effect
ual an Alternative tlat it eradicates from
the system Hereditary Scrofula, ana
the kindred poisohs of contagious diseases
and mercury. At the same time it en-
riches and vitalizes the blood, restoring
healthful action TO the vital organs and
reinyenating the entire system. This great
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
SCROFULA

can only be cured by thorough purifica-
ton of the blood. If this is neglected.
the disease perpetuates its faint through
generation after generation. Among its
earlier symptomatic developments are
Eczema, Cutaneous Eruptions, Tu-
mors, Boils, CarbuncIes, ErysipeIas,
Purulent Ulcers, Nervous and Ply
steal Collapse, etc. If allowed to con-
tinue, rheumatism, Scrofulous Ca
tarrh, Kidney and Liver Diseases,
Tubercular Consumption, and yari-
Gus other dangerous or fatal maladies, are
nroduced by it.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
Regenerative Medicine

Is composed of the genuine Honduras
SdsdpdrWo, with Yelloso Dock, Still
liRGia, the Iodides Of Potassium and
Ir0a, ard other ingredients OF great POI
tencv. carefully and scientifically COM
poumced. Its formula is generally known
to the medical profession, and the best
physicians constantly prescribe AYERS
SNRSApARIIIA as an
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24

1Butstin the house affair would draw her
thence;
Which ever as she could with haste dispatch,
bbed come again"
| All this was. fear, on Ben's part, a
matter Of calculation rather than senti-
ment. That he wished to stand well,
Tor the standings sake, in the eyes of
his landIady, goes without saying, but
the standing well brought with it and
after it some advantages that were Of
infinitely more value to Ben. There were
many things dear to Bon's heart, but
none more dear than poached eggs and
hot buttered toast; and though those
were mot in the contract" they were
almost daily incidents of Ben's life. At
first, it is true, he had not got on so
we'll with his landlady, for notwith-
standing the best intentions, neither had
been able to comprehend a word said
by the other. Time, however, which
works wonders in so many cases, brought
ameioration in this, for Ben got smat-
tering Of German. aal the Fraulcin
picked up few words of English, and
from that time Ben was, to use his own
expression, "a made man, Though
not endowed with large amount of
wisdom, be knew (which side his bread
was buttcred,n and he resolved to keep
on good terms with the Fraulein, no
matter who else might be offended. And
the Fraulcin herself grew really to
like the big, boastful Englishman,
and did her best to make
both of her dodgers contented with their
temporary home. This was about the
position of affairs, when, some eighteen
months after they had left England, Mr.
Westly told Ben he should soon be re-
sarnIng. This was a sad blow to Ben.
No more poached eggs on hot buitered
toast, no more idle days. He tod the
Fraulein what the Herr had said, and
she, too grieved. No more stories about
London; no more leaves from the stately
genealogical tree; no more pleasant
evenings
''And you stgo2" she asked. "And
| shall never you no more see2"
This set him thinking. Why should
he go back2 And the thinking ended
in resolution--he would not go back.
It came out in words at the first oppor-
tunity: 81 do not mean to 90 back to
England, Fraulein, but shall settle down
in Germany, if can get any work"
'There is plenty OF work on the
FARM" said the Fraulein.
This did not altogether chime in with
Ben's view of life. Work was thing
to be endured, not courted. Plenty to
eat and to drink, and nothing to do, was
Ben's domestic creed. Still, he could
work, and not work very hard; and if
be married the Fraulein, the farm would
be as good as his at once, and absolutely
his some day. He might do worse; he
feared he could do no better.
1--WE had some news from home, Ben,
that ought 10 please you Your old
sweetheart at the rectory has had
couple of thousand pounds left her by
her uncle, the Miller
"Two thousand poundsl" said Ben to
himself. Two thousand pounds! Why,
hats fortune Things is becoming
xtremely complicated. think | shall
70 back with MASTER"
That night letter was dispatched to
England bearing on the envelope the
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
RI TOBACCO, MARYLAND JUNE "a. 1857.

tashould start for the continent. That
1sht Ben repaired to the rcctory, and
hn parting interview with Anna. His
'A words were: you'll not forget
ds Anna, while I'm parted from youl
im a-coming back for you some day.
III then, ho r.verp
-sTill what?"
That's a bit of French, my dear
I've bin learning the langwidge lately.
Y something like good by, only more
y. IIo riyerw And so they parted.
u the course Of few weeks Ben and
l9s master were comfortably settled in
small German village near Bonn. The
louso where they had made their home
vas an old farmhou c that had once be-
lqnsed TO noble family, but was now
EArtly fallen to decay. 1t was inhabited
the present cwncr, who carried on
5hsiness Of a small farmer and wine
gRwer. lie had neither wife nor child,
~ domestic functions being super
| blended, and in great measure per-
| fsmed, by sister, Naturally, there
i,fe, it came about that Ben and Frau
lgin Schmidt were often in each others
company, and naturally also, Ben i'm
pioved the occasion. If the Fraulein,
With womanly curiosity, asked about
tn Herr Wcstley, Ben was careful to
eplain TO her that Herr Wcstley was
great baron at home, dwelling in a man
son with marble halls and gilded cell
ifgs; that he, Benjamin Biggins, was
tao confidential companion of this said
great baron, and that, though he (Ben-
ifmin) now appeared in the role Of a
servant, he had remarkably good posi-
ton among the gentlemen of his native
gnd. Aud the Fraulein would listen
With flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.
Sometimes in the evening, before the
farmer had come home, as they sat to-
spther by the house place fire, Ben
would delight his listener with stories
Of the wonders of London. He had
spent few hours there one day while
attending upon his master, and he there
fore felt competent to describe its prin-
cipal sights, and where his knowledge
Iiled his invention came to the rescue.
True, he mixed things up a little. He
jot the National gallery and the houses
4 Parliament under the same roof,
Westminster Abbey and the Tower
within a stones throw of each other,
While the way to the Crystal Palace wss
oyer London Bridge, and up the river,
Inst Battersea Park. But this made no
4 sFerence at all to his listener. Like
= Aemona, she drank in all his de-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-06-24
Absolute Cure

Tor all diseases caused by the vitiation of
the blood. 1t is concentrated to the high
est practicable degree, far beyond any
other preparation for which like effects
are claimed, and Is therefore the cheapest,
as well as the best blood purifying medl-
cine. in the world.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
She Wanted Warts.

Yesterday well-dressed young
woman entered an uptown livery sta
bic and said to the proprietor: xviii
you please give ME few warts?"
"Wartsp exclaimed the liveryman.
astonished at the extraordinary re-
quest, i've got no warts. as he put
out his hands in proof of his assertion.
ooh, / don't mean that kind. Sweet
ly retorted the young woman. lmean
warts on horses legs"
More mystfied than ever. the pro-
prietor of the stable told the woman
that none of his horses had any warts
on their legs to spare. The woman
walked out of the stable with look OF
disappointment on her face.
There are certain people who believe
that warts from horses legs are cure
for certain kinds OF fever. Moreover
il is said the latest fad among certain
class of young women consists in
gathering warts as D charm to drive
away disease.-MaH and Express.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
She Understood Racing.

A mddle-aged woman. with SOL
emn cast of countenance. and wearing
a plain black dress. approached Col.
Dan Scott, secretary of the Sioux Falls
Turf association, one day this week,
and said:
''Sir. expect there is going to be
some hoss-racing here next weekP"
1--WE expect to have some races, tilad'
am"
80 l heard. A lot of gawkies are
going 10 get on the track with two
wheeled sulkies and fence-rail horses
and lean over and saw on the lines and
crack the poor beasts W tn short whips
and holler and crowd and try to get
ahead of each other?"
"Whv, why, madam -"
Then big crowd of bald-headed
old hypOcrites and corn-staik dudes
will stand around and bet on the hoss-
es."
"Why. madam, suppose there will
be some betting
Then there will be lot of old
blokes up on the judges stand too
drunk to tell which horse does come in
ahead"
No. oh, no -"
Don't you no ME; tell you they
will all be drunk! Then a man with q
mouth like q new cellar will stand up
and sell pools on the races, and lie, and
cheat, and break the law"
I'm sorry, madam. but -"
81 know it's all so! And the race
will be sold by the owners, or some
miserable driver will be paid TO throw
it. and if an honest man does bet on il
he'll get beat out of his money"
MADAM. I'm sorry that you appear
to be so opposed to horse-racing."
"Me opposed to horse-racing?"
Il gather so from your remarks"
mo, sir, not much; just understand
it. that's all. What called for was tc
see if you couldn't give me a pointer
on which is going to beat. I've sold 9
heating stove and winter cloak, and
I've got my eye on a long-legged gray
mare but 1 don't want to put the money
on her unless she's going to get there
on the home-stretch. I'm willing tc
whack up what got for the cloak tc
anyone that'll put ME on to dead sure
thing to put the stove money on!"-Da
E0td Bell.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
The Age of Charming Women.

From being passee at twenty to be-
ing charming at thirty tells in itself the
whole tale of woman's growth in the
past century. That peculiar comb.na-
ton of angel and idiot which was the
ideal woman was unthinkab!e except in
the teens. Idiocy cannot be angelic af-
ter the first score of years. The rose
bud is delightful. and everybody loves
it, but there is not a woman left who
would care to be always eighteen. Up
to thirty-fvc woman is not now at
all abashed at owning her age. She
knows she has but gained in charm;
she knows that the man who fought
shy of asking her out to dinner during
her first season, and who was mute
and bored during the whole time that
he sat by her side, will seek her out in
company now, and will recognize her
added experience and maturity by CIV
ing her credit for common sense i'll the
talk that he begins with her. She
knows that where her crudeness used
to drive off people worth knowing. she
can, at her will, call them about her
now.
Frau Won Stien was past thirty
when she carried off Goethe captive
after he had weathered the dangers of
the Younger Lillis. Charlottes and the
rest. And in New York or any of the
country's great centres to-day it is not
the Younger women whose position in
the only society that is worth the name
is happiest or best established. The
woman who marries now is twenty-five
when she used to be fifteen.-MilUau-
Zee Sentinel.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
The Festive Mosquito.

According to the Cincinnati En-
quirer, the Ohio River mosquito has inn
proved tie last winter and spring in de.
vising a new bill-tip. which penetrate,
gloves and stockings as easily as the
old one did the skin. The sucking ap.
paratus and the musical attachments
are the same as before. Minnesota
mosquitoes passed that stage of develop.
ment long ago. The ordinary mos.
quito of commerce up this way eschew:
blood altogether. He likes something
richer. SO he just drives his bill into
his victims bones and sucks out the
ACKNOWLEDGMENT TsSbwse.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
Genuine Antique OAK.
hor;no a well on the farm

In boring a well on the farm .:
garsb Williams, some five miles s, oil
Coinsa. Cal. J. c. Frazier, who h"s The
farm rented, struck piece OF wood at
depth OF 40 feet. The wood brought up
by the anger was in an excellent state OF
preservation, and was pronounced "all
oak" This place is only fifty feet above
the sea level so that the wood IS l2O ieet
below the oceans surface. If it was sunk
tbers when this valley was lake or an
arm OF the bay, it was IN pretty deep
water. How long since this piece OF wood
was Ia n growing tree? The valley, 81
course, has grown, but without some con-
yulsion OF nature the growth has been slow,
not, perhaps, one foot per century. Their
has it been IL. 900 years since this oak tree
grew?
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
KING Humbert and the Cholera.

Now that the cholera is said to be
breaking out again in Italy, it may be
interesting TO give the following story
of the king Of italy, better than any
that got into the papers, which is in
cidentally told in the past of A!exan-
der's "Christ's Folk in the Apennine, !"
edited By Mr.. Ruskin: ii saw lady a
little while AGO. married to r Pied
moutese, who was at Busca, just where
the cholera was worst, last summer
OSS4), when the king went there, and
she gave me an interesting account OF
it all. She said everyone was in a
panic, and afraid TO go near the sick
people; but the king took hold rs if he
had been a hospital nurse, going always
where the danger WIS greatest, sitting
b. the beds OF the SEX. administering
their medicines. rubbing them with
spirits when the chill came, giving
food, advice. or money rs they were
wanted, sometimes sympathlzing, some
times laughing and testing, to keep up
their hearts. until others came forward
to help, just for shame. And in The
evening. when he went to rest tirel
out, and his servants came about Il
change his clothes and fumigate' him.
he used to smile at their anXieties, and
then raise his eyes to heaven. as if e.
say: There is where my safety come.
from" Of course, all this did not sui
everyone, and there was some talk o
passing law 10 prevent sovereign:
from risking their lives; but Umbcrtc
said if they did he should be the frs
to break it. and as everyone knew tina
he would keep his word there was uc
more SAID about il.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
Little Johnny's Bad Break.

Little Johnny Fresh, aged six, walk
ed into his mothers drawing-room be-
fore party of guests, having conn
down from his evenings bath IN hii
pet to make some complaint.
"Goodnessr' shrieked one. "takt
away that child! What a dreadful
sightr'
Il amt no dreadfuller sight thai
him." shouted back Johnny. as III
pointed to a big statue of Cupid
land got more clothes on. Look n
my porous plaster on my back. PITTS
burgh Post.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27
One Woman's Wrongs.

Omaha Wife-You are the meanest.
ugliest thing in existence. / just hate
you.
Husband-What have l done nowo
',Doaep What have you not done?
This morning when | discovered that
Colorado beetle crawling on my dress
and called to !, on for help. you didn't
stir. but let me sit there just writing il,
terror until had to Shrek"
Il didn't hear you call. What else?"
.sThis afternoon when that jewcler
showed us live Brazilian beetle beau.
tilu1iy set in . bscastpin you refused IL
6 - ~ N = 0asako sferiA
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-08-27

and he had to get in the best way ne
could"
"Well, Johnnie, there's something in
that" >,
"And in the third place. l would
know that, rs my boy was captain OF
the school nine and had had his hand
split a dozen times. besides being
knocked senseless with foul ball once
or twice, and had his legs nearly bro
ken running bases, that any whip
ping that could give him would only
q,
"All right, Johnnie, we'll call it
square. You can have MY ticket for to-
niorrow's game If you want it"