The Southern herald., 1887-07-09
EutL Or FUN.

--In0mpSOn--''Ou suppose " mhu snOuiu
.all you liar, what should you doP'
Jones (hesitatingly) sized
manpn
A companion sign to the "Going
Out Scrubbing Done Here" is a new
one in Washington street, New Haven:
Expressing Done Here"
"A veteran was relating his exploits
to a crowd of boys. and mentioned haV-
ing been in five engagements. That's
nothing!'' broke in little shaver.
my sister Sarah been engaged eleven
times
'iNow, woman's sphere" began
McSwilligan. "Oh, yes, ! know what
that is" replied her husband. well,
what is itp" "Why, woman's fear is
a mouse. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
What he wants
''Man wants but little here belowt'
That statement causes mirth--
It must have been in early times
For now he wants the earth.
"a Blue Blooded Beat" was the
recent heading in newspaper. 1t did
not refer to new agricultural product,
but to Baron who had pulled up roots
and absconded with a good deal of pay
dirt that didn't belong to him. - Boston
Commercial Gazette.
-"My DEAR" said her lover, Il am
fired with an ambition to win your
hand. May | consult your fatherF"
Yes" she softly murmured. An hour
later he was again ''fired"-but 1t
was not with an ambition to win her
hand, this time. There was more foot
than hand about it.-DrGke's TrGcel-
ler's Magazine.
One of the Boston Budgets droll
small boys was making life burden
to the quieter portion Of the family.
keep quiet child, and don't be SO
boisterous," called the mother impa-
tiently. "Well, don'C want to be
girlAsterdus,' came the prompt retort,
and the mother wonders what she has
done to merit the sad visitation of be-
ing the parent Of punster
Artist" you'll come and see my
pictures before they gop" Influential
Critic" my dear fellow. ! never sc
and see pictures in fellows studios-i'
is such bore, you know Everybody
saying the pictures are too charming
and too delightful, and all that?
Artists Wife (nervously)-"Oh, there's
never anything of that sort in oui
house -er-" Wishes she hadn'i
spoken. Punch
al am so busy" said young Softly
Sophomore, Il have no time to think. :
Il can let you have plenty Of time, :
said the professor, coldly, "but ism
/, there something else you need to d
thinking withP" And long, long afte
recitation, when it was hours too late
young Softly bethought him that h
should have said Eyes, but you hav
none of that to spare, professor.
Thus oft our brightest thoughts ant
happiest inspirations side track ant
wait for . signal and fail to get there
-BurdeIts.
The story that kissing was intro
duced into England by Rowena, daugh
ter Of Hengist the Saxon, is prett
enough to be trne, but it probabl
isn't, all the same. As the story runs
banquet was given the British mon
arch, at which the Princess, afte
pressing the trimming beaker to he
lips. saluted the astonished and dc
lighted Vortigern with little kiss
after the manner Of her own people
Rowena may have been a real mic
girl. but we believe that Mother Ev
gave the first lessons in osculation. :
Chicago Journal.
He Was Right Hans Growyost
a worthy Western farmer, has shrew
ish wife, who has long rendered hi
life any thing but couch Of roses. On
day not long ago she, in fit Of piqu'
packed up her goods and left hin
vowing never to come back. Th
news went round among his neighbor
and at night several came to condol
with Hans. He sat on his front pore
putting away at his pipe. Hans" IT
marked one of the neighbors, Il pit
! you" my poy," replied the hone'
! Dutchman, as he knocked the ashe
out of his pipe, "you vas right. Sh
has shust come backr'-M Y LEDGE