Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-12-21
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A tear from the eye of sympathy be-
comes jewel in the crown of faith
american Merchant Traveller.
Education is good thing when it
does not directly unfit man for work
ing for living. Philadelphia Call.
-Teacher-''What is the difference,
Tommy, between a German and a.
Dutchman. Tommy-''One has got
money and the other hain't. "-Epoch
Experience is a good school, but it
keeps US too long, and the tuition bills
are too costly for fellow who is in
hurry for diploma.
If the present coal famine con-
tinues there will be lots of short court
ing this winter, though we are con-
fident it will not cause premature mar
riages.
When the world is made over again
and the millennium comes, other peo-
pies children and other peoples cats
will certainly be abolished. -SonaerVille
Journal.
The world would be much better
off were those who pose as leaders as
deaf and dumb as they are blind
Ponaeroy's Advance Thought.
When a pawnbroker pays 49, so for
a new $50 overcoat he may be trying to
lead an honest life, but he leaves room
for a healthy suspicion to the contrary.
Omaha Herald.
Only one rifle ball in a thousand
kills man in battle. If that thou
sandth bullet could be left out of the
calculation what brave soldiers we
would be.-Martha' s Vineyard Herald.
-Itis not uncommon for fashionable
young man to live beyond his means,
but when dude lives beyond the
means of his mother he must marry or
come to want.-N O. Picayatae.
-Frivolity, under whatever form it
appears, takes from attention it's
strength, from thought its originality,
from feeling it's earnestness. -Madanae
de Stdei.
1t is getting to be a common ex-
preston for man to say his baby
weighs ton. 1t is generally the kind
of a ton that ton of coal weighs
Puck.
IL have met with success very fire.
quently," remarked the aged cam
paigner, "but we never spoke as we
passed by. Success always seemed to
be in hurry to see another man.
Harper's Bazaar.
-"Mariah, suppose we give this copy
of Dante's Inferno awayP" "Why,
what for?' Il don't think that either
of us will have curiosity to look at it
now that your mother has come to live
with us. - Washington Critic.
-"Mr. Snyderly, l hear that you re-
ferred to me as liar" Eyes, sir,
did; what are you going to do about itp"
II was going to ask you to put it down
on paper for me. I want to get job
in an Omaha real-estate Office, and I
don't need better recommendation.
Lincoln Journal.
There seems to be confusion of
ideas as to the anatomical characteris-
tics of property. We are told, for in
stance, that wealth takes to itself
wings. and then we all know that it is
constantly changing hands. What
with wings and hands, it must be some
thing angelic. No wonder it is in 80
much request.
The Telephone Cat
Though most of the cats on the back yard fence
Belong to the self-same choir,
And faithfully call and caterwaul,
I" Maria Maria! Mariar'
There's one that shouts above all the rest,
At any hour that suits him best,
In strangely human, familiar tone,
AS II he called through telephone,
Hello! Hello Hellol
His voice we have learned to know;
And whenever we hear it we say, There's that
Detestable nuisance-the telephone catl''
-Harper's Bazaar