The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-06-22
HUMOR.

HUMOR.
TA1LoRs 90 for men and measures
both.-Nei0 Orleans Picdyune.
WHEN is iron the most ironical?
When it is railing. Buffalo Times.
A cooUErTE is like q war veteran.
She goes through many engagements.
The Judge.
ALWAYS stranded on the same rock.
A baby who has but one CRADLE
Netc Haven News.
THERE is more pleasure in giving
than receiving" This is particularly
true in the matter of advice.
POWER.
man Of men may master be,
or master of IA hoard Of pelf,
But greater power wieldeth he
Who is the master OF himselfl
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX says that
she loves the hustle in large city. 1t
does look rather ridiculous in the
country, that's fact.
NOWADAYS only well-to-do ladies can
afford to have maids to help them
dress, but in the olden times every
housewife had dresser.
"HAvE you heard Sing to Me Only
Once Again p" she asked sweetly. No,
but shall be delighted" he said, with
unnecessary fervor. - Detroit Free
Press.
A CLERGYMAN who married four
couples in one hour remarked to a
friend that IT was pretty fast work"
"Not verv," responded the friend, "only
four knots an hour F"
ZONES is one of the oldest settlers,
isn't he?" remarked the newcomer to
the corner groceryman. "Yes, indeed,
he is an old settler; he hasn't settled
with me for twenty-five years.
CHURCH committee Ito successful
candidate What salary would you be
content with? Candidate - Without
donation parties, $1,000; with them,
81 800. Huntington Free Press.
WE read that "tiowers from loved
ones hand are more priced than dia-
monds." O, no. diamonds will always
be brightest and freshest-especially
when of the first water.-Terds Sift-
iHgs.
"INpEED, it happened in less time
than take to tell it," said the lady
who was con sidered somewhat of a
bore. ooh, / haven't the least doubt
of It, !" replied the patient and truthful
listener.
In the old city of Brunswick, Ger
many, is statue of the man who invent
ed the spinning Spinning street
yarns is so old that it is impossible to
ascertain who invented 1T. 1t was prob
ably Eve.
"HAvE you got through cleaning,
Bridget?" NO, mum; not intoirely.
I've secured the bookcase and pianny,
and Pm just going down suller for
more sand, to begin on the rist of the
furniture.
do YOU know Mr. Duder?" asked
one girl of another. Il can't say that
/ know him, but have met him sew
eral times. well, you ought to cul-
tiyate him." "Why, is he ANYTHING
much?" Il don't know how he will be
in the future, but now he needs cultiva-
ton about as much as any man l ever
met"
81 WONDER what has become of Bill
kins. Haven't heard from him for
years" said Jones Il thought you had
heard" said Brown. "Bilkins went to
the bad months ago. he went rapidly,
too, after he got started" "Ah, by the
fast express, as it were" "No, by the
fast mail route, so TO speak. "-Nelc
York Mail.
THEY say that Ben Butler once got
fee OF $4,000 by simply telling man
who came to him for advice to shut his
mouth and keep still. Just think of it
and the timber fairly alive with men
who never got cent, but only made
matters all the worse, by giving the
same advicel But they all made the
mistake of giving it to their wives
Ddkoid Bell.
Miss CoCKETT C elbow roses are
supposed to indicate righteousness and
moss-roses mean love, do they not, Mr..
Neversmile?' Mr.. Neversmile-"So
I'm told; and white roses mean
silence. Miss Cockett-"Well, what
do these large oabbage-roses and jacks
mean 2" Mr.. Bankrupt
cy, Miss Crockett-bankruptcy every
time. -Hdrpe1's BdzGr."