The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-11-21
A Racket" in a Flat.
BY TOM PERsIMMONs.


reference to her practice of run
ming up a little bill for the latest
sweet thing" perhaps because her
real name is Well she was named
for rich country aunt.
But digress. Let me hasten TO pre-
sent to an admiring world the ruler
of the Persimmons family, the autocrat
of the hearth rug the august being who
holds our destines in the hollow of his
PAWN short. my wife's dog Racket.
A highly appropriate name it is too,
though nothing less than dynamite or
nitro lycer;nc is his equal for contain
ing so much battle, murder, and sud-
ken explosion within small compass.
Not that he is vicious; far from it.
He never snaps, snarles or growles.
Why should he, when his two white
slaves (Brde and y stand ready to do
all or any Of those things in his defence?
That is our department; his is to be con-
veyed, painting and frisking, through
life, an object of aversion to all hotel
keepers, car conductors, and cab driv-
ers, if may Judge by our experience
on our wedding tour, which he shared
because Birdie would take him-said,
in fact. "shc could not exist three
whole weeks without her own pres'us,
boo'ful darling of a dumpling."
Nice way for full-grown female to
talk, isn't it? But that is Brides way.
The way she gushes over that dog is
simply idiotic What am here for, |
should Ike TO know? Did l marry
her merely as preliminary to
assuming the duties of valet and
hcad-waiter to the Skye ter
r:orp Or did 1 possibly have more
selfish personal object in view when |
agreed to endow Birdie with all my
worldly goodsP Cad! | was left if /
had, for l spent the majority of the
said goods in bribing the hall-boys to
keep dark about the dog in our bed
room. and the larger part of my honey
moon in smuggling that black silk
nuisance up and down the back stairs,
that he might enjoy all the short walks
Birdie considered necessary to keep
him from "pining" for her papa's
yard in Roxbury.
Well, he get them. and rather fancy
the occupants of the adjoining room
also received few new ideas as to con-
versations between "turtle-doves' if
they listened to Birdie and me for the
five minutes preceding these walks.
There were mighty few "Whose 90 ~
oo's" flying about just then, l tell
you.
Naturally found all this delightful,
but I did not fathom the depth Of my
degradation until we had returned to
Boston, there to establish ourselves in
the manner best calculated to give our
friends an erroneous respect for our in :
come. This we promptly decided to be
furnished apartments. minus the S; In
short, one room in the most exclusive
quarter of the city.
1t proved to be room full of Mephs-
tophelian furniture, which testified on
oath not to be what it seemed, our bed
concealing itself under the guise of a
high-shouldered bookcase, while our
dressing glass. retiring into mongrcl
etagcre, threw off fertilization OF
small shelves terminating in Queen
Anne porte cochere, which compelled
mo to kneel on a chair 10 view my neck
tie.
Many other pieces OF furniture and
br.c-a brac performed new and start
ling duties under our rule; but OF these
details | would prefer not to speak. al
least until Birdie and are on q more
substantial basis. Suffice 1t to say, the
general air Of our apartment was aug-
gestive of the most perfectly elegan
and refined" lodging.house parlor. We
revealed in PLAQUES, tides and china
animals. All our small plush chairs
were primed to the brim with sprigs
that left an indelible impression on our
visitors spinal columns. while inspir-
ing them with a sympathetic feeling
for st. Lawrence.
In addition to these treasures we
we're the possessors of four invaluable
doors, which we're the pride OF Birdie
heart; one was the entrance. the others
were nothing but closets, though. as
Birdie said. they did look as though
they led to bedrooms. What they
really led to were the most embarrass
ing accidents on the part of oui
friends, who, 10 q man. mistook the
dressin g-closet for the exit; extricatct
themselves smiling to back gracefully
into the boot closet; tore themselves
from that murmuring confused apollo.
o,as only to plunge into the midst OF