The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1887-01-28
VOL. XXXII---NO. 4.
VARIETIES.


He is the happiest, be he king or peasant,
who finds peace in his home.
If it be true that everything is for the
BEST" what is there left for second best?
"A man never knows what genuine pov-
erty is until he has to shave with soft soap.
-Thompson-"Suppos man should call
you liar, what should you do?" Jones (hes-
itatingly)-"W hat sized man?"
One often feels, in view of the small
waist of the period, as if he were putting opt
his arm to surround knitting needle.
when l married you" she said, II
thought you were better man." "And so /
was" he replied. mime is not the first good
temper that has been ruined by matrimony."
-Simkins and his young wife had just
completed their first quarrel Il wish was
dead" she sobbed. Il wish was, too" he
blubbered "Then don't wish l was" and
the war continued.
"A number of young men were guying q
big Scotchman about his big feet when he
sie need them by saying: "Ye earn mex as
mooch foon o. them as ye loike, boot them
COON in very handy whoon yc're in swum-
mon"
A country rector complained TO DIR.
Routh that he had received only five pounds
for preaching a sermon at Oxford. Five
pounds !" calculated the doctor, "why, /
would not have preached that sermon for
fiftyw
Visitor lin penitentiary(-"W brought
you to this place, my friend~ Convict
"Sneezing." misunderstanding" Convict
"Yis, sorr. 1t woke the gintleman up, an he
nabbed me. Have you got a bit of lobacky
about ye, sorr p
"A lonely Skating Rink met Toboggan
Slide the other day. "How are you feeling?"
asked the Rink in doleful tones. II am Hun
ky" replied the slide II am in fast compa-
ny and making barrels of money" Come
and see me in about two years from now"
said the Rink, and we will condole together.
| have been there myself"
Rev. DIR. Talmage, in recent sermon,
says ITO publish a newspaper requires the
skill, precision, boldness, vigilance and STRAIT
egg of commander-in- To edit it re-
quires that one be a statesman, an essayist,
a geographer in fact, an encyclopedia. And
to govern and propel it till 1t is an establish
ed fact demands more qualities than any bus
mess on earth"
1t is singular fact that our opposition
to an undertaking is because il conflicts with
our personal interests, aud not because ii is
itself wrong. On the other hand we sane
ton the doing of many things, not because
they are right, but because in that way we
receive pecuniury benefit. We know that it
is not very complimentary to say that our
conduct is impelled by no higher motive, but
on no other hypothesis can we explain the
strange dongs of men prominent in public
life.
Strangely do some people talk of getting
over great sorrow, overlapping it, passing
ii by, thrusting it into oblivion. Not so. No
one ever does that-at least, no nature which
can be touched by the feeling of grief at all.
The only way is to pass through the ocean of
afllicton solemnly, slowly, with humility and
faith-as the Israeltcs passed through the
sea. Then its very waves of misery will
divide and becomes TO us a wall on the right
side and on the left, until the gulf iiarrows
and narrows before our eyes, and we land
safe on the opposite shore.
There are two kinds of girls. One is the
kind that appear best abroad-the girls that
are good for parties, rides, visits, balls, ETC.,
and whose chief delight is in such things.
The other is that kind that appear best at
home-the girls that are useful and cheerful
in all the precincts of home. They differ
widely in character. One is a moth, consum-
ing everything about her; the other lie a sun
beam, inspiring life and gladness all along
her pathway Now it does not necessarily
follow that there shall be two classes of girls.
Education will modify both little, and unite
their good qualities into one.