The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-10-13
BILL syE SUPPLIES A WANT.
A Patent Oratorical Steam Orcannette for
Railway Stamping

N He
A Patent OratoricaI Steam Orcannette for
Railway Stamping.
To the Editor of the New York World.
am now preparing for general use and desire
to call the attention of your numerous readers
to what have nominated the Campaigner's
Companion for use during or preceding hot
political campaign. Eureka is very tame ex-
preston for this unique little contrIvance, as it
Is good for any speaker and on behalf of any
| party, care not of what political belief the
orator may be. 1t is intended for Immediate
| use, like box of dry plates on an amateur
PHOTOGRAPHIC tour, only that it is more on the
principle of the organette, with from 500 to
| 5000 tunes with it ready for use
1t Is intended to be worked easily the rear
platform of special car. and absolutely pre-
vents repetition the wrong application of
local gags. Every political speaker OF any i'm
| portance has suffered less from what
| may be called the misplaced gag. such localiz-
| ing the grave of a wekuown member of Congress
| In the wrong county. swelling up with
| pardonable pride over large soap works in a
rival town, fifty miles away from the one where
they really are. All these things weaken the
political possibilities of great men. and bring
/ contumelv upon the party they represent
My idea IS to arrange sort of organette on
the rear platform OF the TO be operated by
steam conducted from the engine by means Of
pipes, the contrivance be entirely out of sight
under neat little spread made of the American
| flag. Behind this an eminent man may stand
with his hand socked into the breast of his frock
! coat nearly to the elbow. and while his bosom
| swells with pardonable pride the engineer turns
| on steam. Previously the private secretary has
/ inserted speech printed punched paper,
| furnished by me, and bearing that special
town and showing a degree of familiarity with
that neighborhood which would win tho entire
Behind this machine the eminent speaker
weaves to and fro simply making the gestures
and shutting off the steam with his foot when
there is manifest desire on the part of the
audience to applaud
lam having over FIVE hundred good one-nieht
towns prepared in this way. and, if it would not
a N IN M ay1ah Of I ~
give here one speech, illustrating my idea and
showing the plan i'll brief, though with each ma
chine furnish little book called Every Man
HIS Own Demosthenes" This book tells exact
~ how to work the Campaigner's Companion.
and make it almost a pleasure to aspire to Office.
have chosen as an illustration speech that
have had prepared for Ashevllie, N c., but all
the others equally applicable and apropos.
(See that all bearings we'll oiled before you
start, especially the political bearings. See that
the crank is just tight enough. without being
TOO tight, and also that the journals do not &c
hot
and Brother Tarheels from Away Back:
eff were a faithful Mohammedan and be-
lieved that could never enter heaven but once,
L would look upon Buncombe county and despair
ever afterwards. -Four minutes for applause to
die away.) Asheville is 2 3S9 feet above tide
water. She is the hot-bed of the invalid and the
home of the physical wreck who cannot live
elsewhere but who comes here and lives till he
gets plum sick of 1t. Your mountain breezes
and your fried chicken bear strength
and healing in their wings. Hold
valve open two minutes and a half to- give
laughter full scope.) Your altitude and your
butter are both high, and the who cannot
get all the fresh air he wants your mountains
will do we'll to rent one of your cottages and al
low the wind to meander through mis- whiskers.
Asheville is a beautiful spot, where peri could
put In highly enjoy able summer, picnicking
along the Swananoa through the day and con-
verslng with Plum Levy at his blood -curdng
barber shop in the cleaning. Nothing can pos
slby be thrillinger than to hear Plum tell OF the
his afn have hal in,
his COSY little shop,
The annual rainfall here is 40 inches, while
smoking tobacco and horned cattle both do well.
len miles away stretches AleXander's. You are
only thirty Ave miles from Buck Forest. Pts
gah mountain Is only twenty miles from here,
and Tahkeeastee farm is only mile away,
with its name extending on beyond far the
eye can reach. The French Broad river bathes
your feet on the right and the sun kissed Swana-
noa with its beautiful borders of rhododen-
drons. sloshes up against you on the other
side. Mount Mitchell, with altitude of
GIL feet and an annual rainfall of 50. inches,
is but twenty miles distant, while Lower
Hominy is near and HelIs Half Acre. Sandy
Mush and Blue Ruin are within your grasp.
The sun never lit up cutter little town than
Asheville Nature just seemed to wear herself
out on Buncombe county and then she took
what she had left over to make the rest of the
country. Your air is full of vigor. Your farms
get up and hump themselves in the middle or on
side, that you have to pair of
telegraph-pole elm hers when you dig your pota-
toes. Here you will see the japonica, the jon
the spring, and at the cheese foundry you can
hear tne skipper calling to his mate.
Here is the home of Gen. Tom Clingman,
who first originated the idea of using tobacco
externally for burns, scalds, ringworm. SPAWN
pneumonia, Bright's disease, poll evil. pip. gar
get. heartburn, ear ache and financial strngency.
Here Randolph & Hunt can do your job print
ing for you, and the Citizen and Advance will
give you the news
''You a good line of railroad and like
your air very much. aside from air just played
by your home band Certainly you have here
the markings of great city. You have pure
air enough for city four times your present
size, and although / have seen most all the
Switzerands of America, think that this is in
every way preferable. People who in search
of Switzerland of America that can be relied
upon will do well to try your town.
"And now, having touched upon everything of
national Importance that can think of. 1 will
close by telling you little anecdote which will.
perhaps, illustrate nv position better than l
could do it in any other way." Here insert
numerous anecdote which has no special bear
ing the political situation and during the en-
suing laughter the train pulls out1
BILL NYE.