Sharp County record., 1887-11-03
A UNIQUE PETITION.
r,. pri,,iant Effort of Young hans"
City 4 AttOrney.

The Brilliant Effort of a Young h"n'"'
City Attorney.
The Kansas City Journal publishes az,
yorce petition drawn by young loe".
light of that city and on file IN the coOiU
records, from which the following 10
taken:
That during their married life the ue-
fendant has exhibited such dangerous
traits of character, such violent passion
and such an entire abandoned of her duties
and obligations as the wife of plalntln,,
expressing deep and unalterable hatreu ol
plaintiff, attacking him with tubs, broom
sticks, hatchets and whatever else she
could find convenient to lay her hands
upon, occasionally interrupting the pan
tomime by introducing few adjectiYes,
now English and then German, as best
suited the fury of the star actress in this
drama or real life, so that, having all thesi
long, weary years borne the burden OF the
storm and tompest's rage, he (the plant-
ifr) being by the defendant directed to
leave the house-his house-with more
than common every day emphasis, which
simply means that the defendant being
q woman of large and masculine pro-
portions, with dauntless courage, with
Jaw mightier than the tabled one that
slew the Philistines, aided and abetted by
the demon alcohol, with great wood axe
in her hand, to try the force and efficiency
of which she began the work of deStruc.
tion, in the presence of the awe-stricken
plaintiff, by cutting, breaking, and de-
molShng the plaintiff IS piano, for which
he had paid nine hundred dollars, as
though it were q leafleSS tree in the wide,
wide forest then, like terror inspiring
Ajax, the huge German matron stood ply
ing her work of devastation, beginning on
the beautiful rosewood instrument of
seven octaves, proceeding to the hand
some writng-desk, her murcury rises to
the highest pitch when, with her brawny
fists, she shattered the face of the tall,
fine mirror which will never more reflect
the sweet and amable countenance of de.
fendant. Having nowhere else to look
for material to butcher, she turned like an
executioner upon tho plaintiff, who all
this while had been silent spectator Of
the scene Of havoc, pondering upon the
immortality of the soul, and wondering if
in that far-oT land "woman is the vine
and man the oak" But when he caught
glance from her eye and
thought that he could see to
tho end of life he stood not upon
the order of his going, but quietly
vamoosed; moving briskly, he picked up
his trunk, and, leaving his cross behind
him in possession of the house, furniture
and home (alas what home y, and turn
ing his face and steps toward the setting
sun, he has never gone back to learn what
his aforesaid wife has done with his $500
worth of personal property he left behind
him, and, with the permission of the court,
he never will. And the plaintiff further
says he always thought the bee was hived
for his honey, the sheep kept for his fleece,
the OK wrought for his profit, the fowl
plumed for his feathers, the tree grated to
bring forth fruit, and the earth titled to
grow corn, but all the labor and cost he
has bestowed on the defendant during
nine years are cast away, and, if he could
persuade her to kiss as friends in the
morning, before noon she would be ready
to throw the house out of the window, and
he has never received the slightest reward
for all his pains; therefore, lest the de-
fendant might feel at liberty to use plain.
tiff as football or cuspidor, he makes
the prayer hereinafter following, which is
that he may be absolutely and forever
without any legal or mental reservation