The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-22
BRIGHT BITS.

HE--And did you see Monte Carlo while you
we're in Europe!
She-No; Papa called on him, believe; but
from his disappointed appearance when he got
back to the hotel think Mr.. Carlo must have
been out.-BOStOt TrdUeller.
'.MIsTHER CopY," said one of Buffalo Bills
Indians tho other day, Can | lave the agsre-
cation temporarily" why, Bounding Pan
visit me old homo at Bally Kilmucky when m
so mare it."'''AH right, You can have week 3
fmlough. '-Fttsb,Tg Chronicle.
THE Waco Day asks who ever heard Of a man
smoking his way into heaven?' The AeicS
won't undertake to answer the question, but
viii simply suggest that the Good Book tells US
That the Prophet Elijah went to heaven in a
chariot Of fire, and where there was 50 much
fire there must have been some SILOke.-Dent-
son iicCdS) ActC5.
Az Old farmer came into a suburban village
one day this week to hire help for moving
But they were not to be had at any price, and
the old granger left Disguised, saying: 1T
beats al natur'; help amt with nOthiu' now
days and they want twice as much wages as
the re with. This problem VIII tax the jumbo
intellects to find what there wuth. ''-PrOUi-
deHce Journal
4 FARMER stood at the Ithaca gas Wen yestcr-
day and sadly declared it was just running Bible
prophecy to dig such things. On being asked to
explain ne said: Iii the oil and gas is ell pumped
out OF the earth, don't it stand to reason that
there will be nothing left inside for the final
burning up of the world 1t is just spelling
Bible prophecy, and ought to be stopped. -
ELHird Gazette.
A LADY walked into a city store a few days
ago and inquired for the carpet department, to
which she was conducted. You see. - she eX-
planned, 4 bought piece of carpet here for
my parlor, and Samuel my husband, says
n0thin' IL do hut we must have more like it So
want to get the remnant. l don't remember
the clerk that waited on me, but I'd know the
carpet if ! set eyes on it
Three clerks We're kept busy an hour and a
half unrOlling cdrpetng for her Identification,
| but the desired remnant didn't come to light.
Dear me, this is very Disappointing" said
the lady, with tone Of VeXation, Il felt sure
| could find the rest OF it
when did you buy the goods, MADAME in
| CURED the clerk
"Oh twenty-five or twenty-three years ago.
| l know il was just about the time of Lees sur
| render and Samuel wished to celebrate, and
"Ah, madam said the clerk, Il fear the
remnant has been sold. "-BUDdio Courier.
ATTORNEY FOR DEFaNDANT-I will now ask
the witness what he was doing on the evening
! of Jan. y?
petent, ineXcusable, irrelevant and incompre
| heusible.%
A. for D.--Your honor, I insist upon the wit
ness answering this question.
The Court-Come, gentlemen. no quarreling:
| let IFS proceed with the case-the objection is
sustained.
A. Tor Very good; now them Mr.. Pluck
| EN- on the evening of Jan. - you were seen-
| c. for P.-You miserable old shyster, the
| court rules that question out.
| A. for D.-You pettfogging final proof thief,
| if it wasn't for his honors presence I'd sweeI
| the court room with your contemplate carcass
! Withdraw your objection, you white-liyered cur,
or Crm yourself.
G. for P-I throw myself on the protection Of
| the court
| The court here produces a forty-fo self
cocker; the attorney for the defendant yields tho
MONT and harmony is again decentralization
! BeN