Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-02-25
FUN
InnEDEEsfApLE bonds-vaga-bopd,

The way Of the world-round its a,;.
TIE telephone is feminine-it tall.
back.
A K1TE ought to be made out Of a.
paper.
How TO keep food on m empty ston
ach. Bolt it down.
The greatest of all faults ia to tb;nl
that we are perfect.
He had sowed acres of wild oats o,,
his hands we're not clean, but h.
whitened them by using them often :.
dispensing charity.
WHEN Leonardo da Vinci died ri.
sovereign exclaimed: Il can make ,
thousand lords, but not one Leonardo .
Cicero observed to q degenerate pstr;;.
clan: II am the first of my fanilv.
you are the last of yours"
FIRST minister-Dear brother. bo,
do you account for the fact that truth.
full men are scarcer than they used ia
be? Second minister-Well, I don4
know, unless it is because there is mora
fishing now than formerly.
A HEN futtered in at an editors win.
dow. Hello, brother!" she cackled,
Brother? Sir, you are insolent'
"Why, we both scratch for o living.
"Shear off" yelled the editor, as be
flung the scissors at his unwelcoma
visitor. --Chicago Ledger.
A CERTAIN bishop once asked b,
chaplain: "What is wit?" "Tbs
rectory of BIS vacant" was the re.
ply; give it to me and that will be wit.
prove it," said his lordship, "and
you shall have it." ut would be a
good thing aoeH applied" rejoined the
chaplain.
Mr.. PITT, it is said, regarded a Law.
suit as q luxury, and held that, Lk.
other luxuries, it ought to be taxed.
Westminster Hail." said he, lis as
open to any man as the London Tavern
To that Mr.. Sheridan replied: "He
that entered either without money
would meet with o very scurvy recep.
ton"
THE ANGELS AND THE TWINS.
Two babies the angels brought ono night
To this world Of sin and pain;
But the angels repented and took one back
To it's heavenly home again.
They took it away through the starry gates.
At the dawn of u m1ne day,
And the mother thought less of tho one on he,|
Than the ono that they took away.
Boston Courier.
REPARTEE is perfect when it efects|
its purpose with a double edge
Voltaire, on hearing the name of Haller|
mentioned by an English Traveller,
burst into q panegyric on him. His|
visitor told him that such praise was|
most disinterested, for Halter by mol
means spoke of him so highly. "Wel,
WE'LL" said Voltaire, ut is not import
tant; perhaps, we are both mistaken
Nor long since Gus De Smith took
stroll through the Austin graveyard
When he came out of the graveyard hd
looked very serious. Gilhooley moo1
ing him asked what was the matter
Nothing, only I was thinking that the|
Austin husband must light all the tire]
in the morning." "What makes yuI
think 500" "Well, I see 80 many q
them are burned to death. I noticed
on three or four tombstones: peace ID
his ashes. '"-Teras Sit1ings.
OMAHA dame-No, l have no desird
to spend any time on a farm, even il
summer. Iowa miss-Don't you like thu
country? 90, yes; but I have visited
relatives on farms several times, and
they always had such dreadfully bal
butter-sent all their good butter !
market, you know" 90! that's a
changed now" at is?" "Yes. indeed
We eat our best butter now ourselve3
and buy oleo to send to market"
Omaha World.
A pRED1CAMENT.
To q country maiden pretty
I'm engaged,
But my mind is-more's the pity
Not assauged,
For I've other maidens courted,
Have with dozens oft consorted,
And she'll be, when It's reported,