Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1887-06-03
PITH AND POINT.

Out OF season-an empty pepper box.
To make Roman punch, call him a
liar Winnipeg SJtingS.
Kings ransom-when their subjects got
after them.-2eras SDtings.
One can always take pains by eating
green cucumbers. Boston Gazette.
About the worst examples boy meets
are those in tho arithmetic. Puck.
1t is meet and drink that is dcpriving
many family of food omaha Be.
Many are tho men who would rather
dye than have gray whiskers. Merchant
TrGUeIer.
1t is permissible to call Welsh news
papers 1.-The Prints of Wales. "-Drake's
magazine.
When is frame house not frame
house2 When an earthquake makes it
rock Washington Critic.
Among the Zulus young people fight
and get married. Here they get married
and tight.-Ieras Sytings
All men try to get the earth, but the
earth gets them. This is not joke; it is
the grave TRUTH Washington Critic.
Old lady-"How often does this ele.
vator come down." Elevator boy-"Be-
tween the up-trips, am.-1Td-Bits.
A man who hunts rats may be called
a ratter, but woman who hunts moths
is not necessarily mother.-SprinQ1ieId
Union.
In the matter of speed there is great
similarity between a flash of lightning
and a bit of unfounded gossip.-St.
Adams Messenger.
A lawyer may not be at all fastidious
in dressing, but no one likes to come out
in new suit any better than he does
Merchant IrareLer.
The rope-walker is not ordinarily a
respondent individual, but he seldom
lives long after losing his position. -
Duluth Photographer.
Poetic Daughter-"Ahl would that l
had the wings of a dove" Practical
father-"H'ml get the legs they're
much better eating. "--1Id-Bus.
At the primary school. Teacher
"Victor, tell me what animal it is that is
most susceptible of attachment to man. "
Scholar (after rehection)-"The leech,
monsieur.-Freach Paper.
Tired Reporter-''Mr. Shears, the man
you sent me to interview got mad" Able
Editor-"He did," "And choked me- "
aye powersI" "And kicked me down
stairs" "The low-living scondrel! Spell
his name wrong. Omaha World.
Sick Husband-"Did the doctor say
that am to take all that medicine %
Wife-"Yes, dear" Sick Husband
"Why, there is enough in that bottle to
kill mule" Wife (anxiously)-"Yo
had better be careful, John. "-BoSton
Herald
"What makes Mr.. Pottleton so I'M.
popular, wonder2 He's good looking
young man and quite intelligent" "Yes
but he writes poetry" "Well that isn't
crime against society, is t." 40.
But he insists on reading it to you, too. -
-1o,on Topics.
Tommy (who wants TO prove things
that he hears Mother, do you think our
big dog Lion would save little girls
life if she fell into the water? Mother
dare say he would, dear. Tommy ZEN
thusiastically)-Oh, then do frow Topsy
in.-Harper's Young People.
The fourth finger of the left hand has
from the earliest date been used as a
wedding ring finger. The ancient belief
was that a nerve in this finger
went directly to the heart. The
modern belief is that the nerve leads
directly to the pocketbook, and strange
to say, after the ring is bought, the
modern terminus of that nerve is often
lighter than the ancient one ever could
have been.-JeWeler's Weekly.
There is a man in our town, and he is won.
drous WISE
Whenever he writes the printer man he dot
teth all his is;
And when he's dotted all of them with great
sang .troid and ease
He punctuates each paragraph, and crosses
all his is.
Upon one side alone he writes and never rolls
his leaves:
And from the man of ink q smile, and mark
insert receives.
And when a question he doth ask taught
wisely he has been,)
He doth the goodly two-cent stamp, for post,
age back, put in.
ST. Joseph Herald