The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-03-12

blocked, except il one direction. and tbo+ e.
appeal to the kindness of some stranoa, ~,
assistance Had not held on so lone ,vo;+
ing for something to turn up would bora
had strength enough left to at least wall
out of the city, but that seemed now ont Of
the question.
Il had made up my mind that would
sooner die than beg, and realized that mill
l had food | could do no work even yvera ~
opportunity offered me. Thinking tbns II
came about at last that death seemed 10 mo
the only way out of the strait, and that
thought, once in my mind, tookfuI mastery
of it. Yet strange to say the thonobt
brought with it sense of relief: 7 feit
sort of satisfaction in gloating over it. Rel-
atives l had none living, save remote hin
whom l knew would not care much. and as
for the morality of taking this leap in the
dark l looked upon the step as annihilation
and no thought of possible hereafter or of
punishment for taking my own life entered
my mind.
SIN this mood passed the day. Towards
evening 1t began to rain, but cared not
for that, and did not stir. The dull, gray
sky hung all about, without rift in it. hut
sky and weather seemed alike in harmony
with my gloomy thoughts.
Late in the afternoon arose and walked
into the city, and through it to the river
front, which | reached about eight o'clock
In the evening. | was weak and nv limbs
| almost refused to carry me, so that it took
me hours to cover the distance. Reaching
-th1srock at last, walked out and took a
offersn the extreme end, facing the river.
NJ 1t hsyas no one about, not living being
4 in 8 raA except as looked up the dock and
: f,ol,;t street leading TO it, which pre-
a "A thit5eabasny eye picture of long lfFlS OF
sBM q6taring in the wind and groups
/, Iau a. hurrying to and fro under the
Of umbrellas. l turned to the river
l u" splashed against the piers st my
] sIu'How cold and forbiddng it Looked,
anu now tho wind moaned in the rigging of
the vessels lying along the piers and drove
the rain and spray before it. The black
sky seemed to press down above the masts
| of the vessels, and the lights that cleaned
across the w.ters from the opposite shore
OF the broad river did little more than rAlke
the darkness visible. A miserable cur,
tied to the mast of a small schooner living
out in the stream, whined piteously to be
taken into the cabin by his master, but
without avail
Caring not for the weather, sat heed
less of the passing hours. My mind was
again busy, going over the incidents of my
life, so soon, as L thought, to have an end
ing.
"Suddeply hand was laid on my shout
der, and voice, gruff but kindly, asked
with rich Irish brogue What would We be
afther dom here tonight looked up 1t
was police officer. My tongue failed me-
had no answer to give him. What he sus-
pected don't know, but he Kept firm hold
of nv arm as If he knew what my purpos @
had been and said: Come now, think we
had betther DO movin' alongl Mechani-
cally, ] obeyed him, and rising, walked
with him up the dock to the street. Here
he released my arm, but continued along
with me some distance, to what l suppose
was the end of his beat and then in kindly
tone, directed me: Now be off wild We and
don't come back here again
''Once more l started on an aimless wan
derlng through the deserted streets, but the
happenings after this, for an hour or more,
are blank to me, with the exception Of one
scene, which is indelibly impressed on my
mind. Somewhere, during the night,
came across deep excavation, a sewer
city. 1t must have been about midnight
for the men who were engaged upon it had
for the time dropped their work to eat their
luncheon. / stood on the brink and looked
down into its depths, and watched them as
they sat on the planking, amid dirt and
slime and all the noxious odors arising from
the sewer, Something of the fierceness of
woltish hunger seemed to come over me as
gazed, and | could with difficulty restrain
myself from climbing down and snatching
some of the food. Perhaps it was my weak
ness that deferred me. l stood there and
watched until the men finished and re-
sumed their labors, and again l sought my
lodgings.
"A new mode of exit from existence had
suggested itself to me, and was in fever
ish haste to put it into execution. As soon
as l reached my room / lit the gas, and
taking pieces of newspapers carefully
stuffed all the keyholes and other crevices
through which air might enter the room
There was large chandelier in the center
Of the room and one branch light near the
bureau in tho corner. There were six Jets
in the chandelier and at all these, as we'll
as at the branch, l turned the gas on full.
Then threw myself on the bed and waited.
ISapluly u lcellnp OF QrOWSlneSS came
over me, and then all at once | was seized
with a terrible sense of loneliness and de-
spair Unable to restrain myself, | fell
sobbing so violently as to shake the couch
on which lay. Then came heavy sense
Of suffocation-then Inconsistencies.
81 awoke at Last. 1t was broad daylight
and ray If bright winter sunshine
streamed into the room and across my pill
low. Where was II That was my first
thought as l aroused myself. Not dead,
that was certain. L struggled to my feet.
There were the gas jets still turned on. 1
struck match and applied it to one jet.
The flame did not catch. In moment l
saw it all. Mypenurious landlady had land
my guess was aftcrward confirmed by her
own lips) turned the gas Off at the meter
after she knew that all her dodgers were in
for the night, and had saved my life
Saved my life! How the thought struck
home to ne Twice saved from seh-de-
struction in one night. l felt stifed in the
room and tore the windows open wide, and
as the bracing atmosphere of out of doors
poured into the room threw myself into
chair by the window and leaned my head
on my trembling hands and burst into tears
of thankfulness.