, 1887-11-03

errant, a. thought, coming to deliver a
distressed maiden. ''You would like to
know what the subject OF tho window Isl"
asked blnndly. 1T "a very old glass
and very quaint allow me TO explain it,"
and sailed Aucntly on. "Dcar mel'
cried the elder lady presently, when I
came to pause, "how Interestingly Whnt
n very happy idea to have the church
shown In this way, aud what very nice
choristers there are hero; so intelligent
and well behnvedr' thought this rather
irrelevant and WAS puzzled, but all
praise of the church just then was
honey TO me, and I said complaccntly,
eyes, the choir IL very good; we take great
pains, and great attention Is paid 70 dis.
cipline" Why the young ladies should
have Uttered, or the old lady have looked
so all.abroad, could not guess but as
people were beginning to come into church
In considerable numbers I drew toward
the chaneel steps, discoursing as went,
and then, as we reached the chnncel gate,
I paused, intending, before We parted, TO
make some nlluson TO having met them In
Oxford. The elderly lady however, mis-
took me. She stopped at the foot of the
steps, where her head was still slightly
above mine, and bringing her hand out Of
her pocket, where she had been fumbling,
slipped half crown into my palm aud
said, "There, my little man, TINT will do;
you've got IL all very nicely; now must
Just give you one kiss, my dear" and with
That I, yes I, was kissed publicly on my
own chnncel steps, under my own rood
screen, before the eyes OF my own pastor
and flock. 'Oh, yes dear little fellow"
cried the young ladies', 'he is so pert and
cunning" and thoy too kissed me with
great goodwill. 1 stood with flaming
checks and mouth agape, the hGlf crown
still in my hand, watching them ns they
complacently retreoted down the aisle.
Then, when they had disappeared, reused
by the litter Of ladies and the guiIaws Of
my fellow clergy at the vestry door, | fled
hastily and buried by bushes among the
registers and surplces OF the vcstry,
1t was useless to remain in that parish
The conduct OF the congregation nest
Sunday, when stepped forth to read the
lesson, proved that to demonstration OF
course such story had spread like wild
fire. The church was crammcd, and when
in reading about David, who was "ruddy
and withal Of beautiful countcnance,"
came to the words, Look not on his
countenance or on the height OF his stat
ure," there arose such stifed laughter
as sounded like the wind among dry
leaves / stopped short, consumed with
shame and modification, unable to see the
book for tears. and then, with an astute-
ness I did not know I possessed, judi
ciously tainted away and was borne out
like child in the arms OF the basso
blacksmith.
1t was sklllful stroke and might have
retrieved me, but could not brook to re-
main there longer. BY the assistance Of
the archdeacon and the consent Of the
bishop, who tried hard not to laugh while
he gave 1t, / was transferred to another
county. But though no like blow fell on
r, tbprp I tha affnp,nf nSplp..
Did go to school to catechise or cXhOrl
the boys, my presence was signal for
disorder. As matter OF course my Gu
thority was disregarded, Girls chnttcd
under my nose, boys extracted from
dirty breeches pockets pegtops and
toffee before my very eyes, and even
looked to me for encouragement, and ii
the master was forced to come to tho
rescue and cane u lad, the ingenious youth
would appeal to me, with an air that snid
as plain as words, "Come, you know what
alley-tors are' Why don't you put n stop
to this grown up tyranny Have you nc
follow feelingS' At baptisms mothers re-.
fused to let me ofliciatc upon the bawling
infant, vowing "they weren't agoin' to let
that theer careless boy play no tricks with
the blessed baby" My ministrations pro.
voked hilarity at funerals, and once Gn
irate virago, with whom l was expOstu.
soused me neck and crop, clerical hat and
all, into her soapsuds and washtub.
With much pain dropped my holy
calling. Marriage and . literary life ab.
sorbed some yenrs. | strpYe-heaven
knows how earnestly--to correct the vice
OF my appearance, but the more / nd.
vanced in life the more absurd matters
grew. Occasional giimpses of hope only
proved delusive and plunged rue back
again into q darker despair. II i have
tried one patent infallible whisker pro.
ducer have tried twenty. Ihave been
mine of wealth to barbers. Fluids that
would make an elm plank shaggy simply
make my cheeks look Chapped. Many a
time have / gone to rest daubed with
pomsde, only to find in the morn
ing that 1t had fled from my chln in
the night to seek n more hopeful
ground on the pillow Once slr!t
downy ef1lorescence made its appearance
under my jaw, and for days was almost
delirlous with joy, and walked the streets
with my chin in the air to show my
manly beard. Alasl like Jouah's Gourd,
it withered in one night, az it grew. Sud
denly IL dropped of and left my face hair
less US the sole Of my foot. At 40 1 still
looked like ID
But though looked a. if time lad
stood still with me, in fact il has made
as good huSte rs WIN otntr fulhS, Ply
wife is half as tall again AZ |, and twice
as heavy. When give her my arm sne
puts her fingers into my armpit, and pec-
pie are ceasng to take her for my
mother and think ! am her grandchild.
am blcst with hopeful young family, a
boy and bony, awkward girl, who looks
already over the crown Of my head and
has TO stoop down tO kiss the. The boy
do think an extraordinary creature. He
In not more than IL, but he looks as much
older than his age as ], so to speak, look
younger than mine. He is tall and
burly, and has u mighty mature and
lumpish look. The bsard which fate
has denied me adorns him, ard with
double portion, and, now that his voice
has broken and settled itself into u Kind
Of hoarse bray. boyish Is the last word 10
apply to him.
took him down the other da! To Hurl.
borough school to enter him there. Ny
railway journey was neither more