Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-16
CONTEMPLATION.

Magistrate-It's s10 or 30 days, Uncle Ras- tus; you can take your choice. Uncle Rastus (after contemplation Well, yo' kin gimme de money, sah.-Harper's Weekly.
 When a man goes into Wall street and comes out several millions in debt he is a Napoleon of finance When he goes in and drops all he owns he is merely a common place every day fool.-Baltimore American.
 Every girl should learn to play the piano. Music has charms to soothe the savage, and there is no telling what sort of a temper the man will have she catches for @ husband - Philadelphia Herald.
 A gentleman, while selling some articles of domestic use at a certain residence the other day, very innocently remarked to the lady about to purchase that he was not selling very much of the article, Gall the best people are away, you know!"-Newton Jour- nal.
 "Sis," he said, edo you know where my base ball mask isa" I've hunted high and low for it.''
 ''I didn't know you wanted to use it to-day, Dick" said his sister uneasily.
 "Well, do."
 ''I'Il see if can find it for you,' and she went upstairs. She found 1t without much trouble.-New York Sun.
 It is great mistake with householders that they do not punch few holes in their window and door screens. When a swarm of flies get into the house-and get in they will, even if they have to come through 8 keyhole or down chimney-they find it quite impossible to get out again. Of course it is not certain that they want to get out, but if they should it is no mora than fair that the opportunity should be open to them.-Boston Transcript.
 s'I ain't afraid of lightning any more. God sends the lightning, and God wouldn't hurt me: he only sends iU to take away the bad air."
 The little one's brother, who was of 8 very practical turn of mind, and who had seen trees and houses that had been torn up and bruised by lightning, sniffed at this deelara- tion by his sister and remarked:
 fsI want you to understand that God is pretty careless sometimes"-St Albans Mes senger.
 The late Judge Aaron Goodrich had sin- cere contempt for all men who affected to be what they were not. He never lost an op- portunity to puncture the thin veil of their pretensions. One was discussing with him one day the existence of God. He was an atheist and remarked with sheer, eff God lets me alone I'll never trouble him.''
 'sMy dear sr," said the judge, F'I have always had the firm belief that you gentle men never had the least cause for worry as to Gods bothering his head about you. He finished with you when you were created. '- OOs |
 ''Our school closed yesterday" says Da kota paper, land at the end of the usual commencement exercises the graduating class amused itself by playfully riding the princi- pal of our high school on a rail through our main streets, and then ducking him in a frog pond back of Baxter's mill. It was a merry occasion and greatly enjoyed by all who en- gagged in it. The principal seemed to object at first but he soon entered into the playful spirit of his pupils and submitted to their sportive ways. Our boys and girls are full of real western dash and spirit and know how to enjoy themselves"
 The Whipping Post.-A Delawarean moved to Ohio and was elected to the legislature there. A bill relative to the penitentiary being before the House, he took occasion to compare the penal system of his former State to that of his adopted one, giving preference to the order of things to which he had for merly been accustomed. Among his argu- ments in favor of the whipping post, he said that the same culprits were seldom whipped second time, the disgrace of the punish ment causing them to leave the State and be- gin life anew elsewhere. At this point of the new members speech voice from the opposite side of the chamber called out: ''Is that the reason why we have the gentleman from Delaware among usa"-Harper's.