Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-29
BRIGHT BITS.

"WHo was Gains wife," Hanged if we
know; but when We see dude caressing the
head of a cane we think there is considerable
affinity between the two sticks.-faU Rtoey
Ad0T1ce.
A DESCRIPTION of an infants feeding bottle
says; when the baby Is done drinking 1t
must be unscrewed and left in cool lace,
say under tap" II they are going to sub
Ject infants to such treatment, few of us will
care TO be "born again. NorriStoa0a Her.
all.
REP0RTER-What do YOU think of the inter-
state commerce bills effect on the drama?
Tragedian-I don't know. but | think it
would elevate it.
RepOrter-EleYate it?
Irregularities, sir, knock it sky high
TId-BitS.
ONE DAY Nora was away and mamma had
the ironing to 90. Nelly wRtche her with
much interest. "What makes 'Ou do vat?"
she asked after a time. al iron the clothes to
lake wrinkles out" mamma answered
Ihree-year old Nelly was silent for mo-
ment. Then she burst forth, "Well, ven.
why tan't 'Ou iron on eat-dramma's ace?"
YOUTHS C0mDGaj n.
"rvE got Joke on -" said man a few
days ago. You know, the rich old chap"
What 10 it?"
He was out at dinner party the other
night, and it was very swell. There were six
knives and six forks, you know at each plate.
After the soup the hostess observed that -
was not eating. You are not eating. Mr.
- she said. DO you not like -?' 1 do
said he. but to tell you the truth. Pm waiting
to see what knife to begin with "-Sdn frun-
ciscJ Chronicle.
A LITTLE 6 yeaF-old boy said to the Rev. II.
W. Brown, the evangelist, who is now preach
ing for Brother Smith, in Lynchburg; THAT
sermon you preached last night is the best |
ever heard. It's grand, sir" The evangelist
smiled complacently he still has q little hui
man nature about HIM and asked What
was it in the sermon that pleased you so
much my little man." THAT bear story"
replied the little boy. The evangelist had
not asked the boy any other question up to the
time we last heard from him.-Richaso,a0 Re
NgtDbS HerdId> te %
OMAHA MAN-So YOU are an employe of the
Philadelphia and Reading Railroad Com
pany?
Pennsylvania Youth-Yes, help clean the
engines. Our wages were recently increased
Is per cent. without asking.
''W eli, that's encouraging
Eyes, ! feel good deal ficher The first
weeks raise gave to poor beggar, who said
he hadn't mad anything to eat for a week"
Did you knew the follow2n
30. yes He 10 one Of the stock holders -
Omaha World.
Miss BIRDIE MdHENNIPIN is one OF the
bellies of Austin Her intellect, however
does not tower into the sublime heights
reached by susan Is. Anthony. but to use the
cold language Of truthfuness, she is very
d y
Desmith Il young man. Not long since he
proposed matrmony. he proposed in good
faith. IN solemn. Impressive manner, upon
which Miss Birdie inaugura ed a giCgle. until
Gus WIS verv much disgust"d. and arising
from his knees his anger found vent in words
He was mad, 100 mai almost TO SPEAK. Miss
Hennlpin." he finally calculated with me
this is no laughing matter. Mhv should YOU
see anything ridiculous about it?''
You must excuse me, MIR. DeSmith-really.
you must. Tor L am not laughing at you:
really, now. | am not. Mas so funny. Won
know Really, she's just too funny for apy
use. Yes, | was laughing at MAJ
AT YOUR MAJ"
Birdie, you are so green that some donkey
Will take YOU yet aud here you come"
But he was gone. He was in the past tense
1t was he who banged the door 30 violently.
II wonder" SAID the suddenly deserted
Birdie. II wonder now, really, if he Is
offended at what ma said? But then ma al.
WAYS was too awfuly funny for anv kind of
use."-TerIS sir ipgs.