Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1887-04-16
STRAY SUNBEAMS.
Gathered as They Sparkle From the
Pen Of I2umOr.

When Mrs. Mackey gives a dinner to
the Prince, she has nine different kinds
Of pie.
There is one place where busybodies
seldom stick their nose in" and that
Is a hornets nest.
The woman You a call a poem is
not the woman you can call early In
the morning to get breakfast.
One thing can be said in favor Of the
ice man. II he has any left over he
doesn't warm it up for breakfast.
A woman's beauty Is most perfect
when it is backed up by intelligence.
A newspaper hustle is just the thing.
In q race for the prize Of being called
belle Of the ball, ii is frequently a neck
and-neck finish with society beauties.
"Your horse has Il tremendous long
bit" said a friend to a noted wag.
Yes" he responded, lit is a bit too
long"
Stranger-Does Mr.. Jones live on
this floor? Musical young lady-No,
sir, his room Is In octave higher, in the
next fiat.
Ruth was not a designing woman,
and yet she managed to get as good a
Boaz any of the other girls who both
sewed and reaped.
1t must be exasperating to the city
beau to read about counting by the
gate, when he has nothing to lean
against but the scraper.
Hotel Proprietor-"We don't allow
any anne Of chance here" Gambler
This isn't Il game OF chance. My
friend here has nc chance"
A glass bottle factory Is to be estab-
lished in Atlanta, Ga. There is a large
local demand in the South which this
enterprise expects to supply.
If people who mean to begin to read
should reld all the advice to readers
about reading, they wouldn't have time
to read anything else.
A convict with a ball and chain
attachment, gave rs an excuse for not
taking q sunni r vacation, that he WAS
too closely tied 10 business.
"That is genuine butter" remarked
the oleomargarlne man, rs he gathered
goat had got through with him.
The chronological Journal says: in
choosing a wife, be governed by her
chin "A man is apt to be governed
by the same thing after he gets a wife.
Even pious souls are sometimes
tempted to lapse into the wanton spirit
Of the little maiden who prayed:
Please, Mr.. God, I'm tired o bein'
made ~good-won't you kill pa"
,,~ ho. Duo.,~ 49,. ..-
Charley" didn't know he was mar
ried at all. | don't believe he is either"
" ies, he is: | notired him turn pale
when the clock struck eleven"
Belle" Ma, do you know what cafe
All lait is? Mrs. Mushroom-"No, l
don't know exactly, darling; but | sup
pose cafe AL lay is coffee with an egg
in it,"
Mrs. Gnbb!ns says she never allows
her boy, jim, to eat jam, for her hus-
,and died Of the jim-iams, and she
ion't propose to run any chances with
the boy.
There is one advantage about the
big. short-measure silver dollar.
Thieves do not take them in large
Quantities where the transportation is
limited.
The meanest man so far on record
lives in New Haven. His wife asked
him to give her 4 pet. some animal
that would stick TO her. and tho next
evening he brought home 4 leech.
A little th~rcr-year old girl discovered
q neighbor's hen scratching in the gnx-
den, and running into the house she
said to her mother in a most indignant
tone: MA. that hen next door is
wiping her tece OH our grass
Judge =" Have YOU anything to say
before the court passes sentence upon
you?" Prisoner =" Well. all I got to
say is, ] hope yer honor II consider the
extreme youth and %greenness Of my
lawyer, an let me off easy"
"Adirondack Murray, the eccentric
preacher. is married again. His boosted
knowledge Of How to Cook Il Beef
steak will now serve him Il good turn,
but the chances are that he will expect
his wife to furnish the steak.
"Why did she do it? asks nm ex-
change. 4" Because. first. her feet we're
awfully cold: second, he had been in
bed an bonr. therefore warm and com
Portable; third, what Is a husband good
III IL NV W Wdill llS WIG 3 l6ct vi,
anyway?
One of our exchanges prints a long
editorial entitled "The Age of Brass"
1t is believed the article was inspired
by a recent visit OF a patent medicine
agent who wanted q column advertise
ment one year and fisty-two reading
notices inserted for S32, to be taken
out in Liver Searcher."
"A naturalist has satisfied himself
beyond a doubt that the average cat
travels a d~istanc" Of eighty miles every
night. Then it must be the other cat
that sits on the hack fence several
hours every night. loudly complaining
OF the high taxes, or something.
Young h~ousekeeper Ito assistantl-
" Have you a small hand bellows for
blowing the fre?" Assistant-"Some-
thing like that. madame?" Young
house keeeper- = Yes, that will do. If
you will i'll! it with wind and put a cork
In the end, I'll take it with me-"
81 admire that beautiful hymn, Il