Western Kansas world., 1887-10-29
PITH AND POINT.

PTTH AND POINT.
A SHEET anchors clothespin.
ANY carpenter can frame an excuse.
To SAVE time-let your watch run
down.
The check that reigns best.the
bank check.
MEN differ very much from gums
As al experience teaches,
Men kick, when kicking, with their boots,
But guns kick with their breeches.
-Boston Courier
THE chaps who claim they never yet
Have ordered up a drink.
Know all the deep significance
That lies within q wink
-Teras SJtfn9s.
IT was very likely Mrs. PartinRton
who hurriedly concluded her category
of baby diseases and troubles by sand
SO on 'ad infant,tn.' '"-Teras Sitt-
i,ags.
MINISTER .(making q call)-And do
you always do as your mamma tells
you to, Flossie? Flossie (emphatically)
Il guess I do, and so does papa
Neac York S,tn.
AN English writer saws: "The girl
of England stands alone. !" That's Just
the difference; the girl of America
always has host of admirers about
her.-Somerville Journal.
"DoN'T you suppose" said member
OF the police force, "that policeman
knows rogue when he sees him?"
"No doubt" was the reply, "but the
trouble is that he does not seize a rogue
when he knows him."
STRANaER-Have you any anarchists
in this town? 2esident-Not one.
This is prohibition town you see.
What has that to do with the matter?"
Everything. You never find anv
anarchists where there is no beer"
How IS it, Jones, that you are SO
much down on Smith? You are al
ways speaking harshly of him. Did he
ever do you any injury?" "No." re-
piled Jones, confusedly, ~the fact is
once did him an injury" "Oh! I see;
that explains your bitterness against
him. ."-Boston Courier.
In Chicago = Citizen Ito visiting
triend) - "There's the handsomest
gambling-house in the country" what,
you don't mean to say it is a gambling.
house?" "Yes." "Has the new mayor
made an effort to close it?" mo"
What is the name of the place."
"Board of Trade" - ArkansaU
IrGUeler.
GIVE must have peace and order III
this community at any price," said the
Kentucky man as he stood up in law
and-order meeting, swabbed out his
revolver with his handkerchief and put
in new cartridges "How many did
you get when you shot just before you
came I'M" asked the chairman of the
meeting. Seven at six shots, and one
OF them was the county Judge and an
other the sheriff" ."-Dakota Bell
CUsToMER-You said this compound
would make my hair grow. It's o
fraud, sir; for I have tried it three
months and am just as bald as ever.
Barber-Why didn't you put the COM
pound on your hair if you wanted it to
grow? You put it on the bald place
TO try to make it grow Just as well
rub it on your cheek to make your
brass grow as to put it on your bald
head in hopes of raising hair Buy
oNiiO LoAiS Puo ohO COMPOUND On ~ aAo
if your hair don't grow TIL refund
your money.-Ne,oma1o Independent
OVER in Petosky, Mich, a lady
rubbed phosphorus on her bunion,
presumably, to ease the pain, and then
retired to her downy couch. Along in
the night her husband, who was q
drinking man, by the way, thought he
saw fiery eye looking at him. He inn
agined that he saw frightful winged
monster with one blazing eye, staring
at him; and after standing it as long as
he could, he decided to kill it. Slowly
he reached under the bed till he found
his boot-jack, and after splitting on his
hands, he whaled away. The next
moment his poor wife gave a yell that
nearly lifted him out of bed, but when
he found out the true state of affairs,
he was Immediately relieved, even
though his wife has been obliged to
walk on crutches ever since.-Peck's
Sam