Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1887-10-20
WITTICISlfS.

1t is after man has attained ripe old
age that he begins to fall of,
Muffs will be very small this winter, but
ear tabs will remain as large as ever.
Reported that the Queen is involuntariiy
growing chin whiskers God shave the
Queen.
1t must be because Scotchmen chiefly
marry among the English that we hear so
much of the blue bellies OF Scotland
Some parties out in Halifax have seen
celestial elephant 1t is no: stated how
many more drinks it takes to see "celes-
tia elephant" than to witness two moons
at one time.
a French paper says that Bismark is fl
nancially interested in twelve breweries.-
What political string he could pull in
this country with tha, backing He'd be
an Alderman inside of six months
No man can name the day on which the
millennium will strike Us, bu! when year
passes without an apple tree being a" in
bloom for the second time this season, we
may know that it is pretty close at hand.
A Boston woman wants to found colony
composed only Of women, on an island in
the Pacific Ocean. She has had two appli-
cations already. They are from two Wild
ows who have passed the age Of 70 and Civ
en- up all hopes
Ought to Have It-Sho lblushing slight
ly)-" Do you know, George, I've heard it
said that in ancient time, kissing = pretty
girl was cure for headache?' He with
monumental siupidity)-"A headache is
something I've never had"
4 go'd pastor, a wlower, proposed to
young lady short time since, but was re.
jccted His feelings had a second severe test
when widow neighbor sent him the fol-
lowing text to preach from: "You ask and
receive not, because you ask a miss"
She tblashing slightly; ''Do YOU know
George, I've heard it said that in ancient
times kissing pretty girl was cure for
headache"
He with monumental slupidity:) "A
headache is something I've never had
"And do you really love me, George'"
she asked
love you - repeated George, ieryenily.
"Wby, while | was bidding YOU goodbye
on the porch last night, dear the dog bit u
large chunk cat OF my leg and never no
ticcd it until got home. Love you y
Between. four and five thousand people
were present 70 the fair of ,le Shenandoah
County Agricultural Society at Woodstock
Yesterday week The baby show was the
chief attraction the premium for the pret-
iiest baby being awnrdcd 20 the child of
Sheriff Wightmau, OF Ediubure. Gen.
Thomas l.. Ros.or who was present, .as
the recipient of many attentions rom hi
old ex-Coufcderate comrades, and was scre'
ensded. Some 1900 attended last Thurs,
day-chief morning attraction cattle ex-
hibit.
The physicians of Wheeling, who attend
cd the international Medical Congress at
Washington, have presented Gen. Jas. u.
Ewing, the appointment clerk OF The De-
parimcnt Of Justice. with decorated water
service, manufactured at Wheeling, in ac-
knowledgment of his courtesies TO them
while there.
Next to Mt St. Elias in Alaska, Mt. Ia
coma /, the loftiest peak in the United
States. IT, ascent is very difficult, and the
scenery is extremely Wild. An illustrated
account Of 4 climb to the highest a,tanable
point will be given by G. d. Hendricksou
in the November AmericGn Nagaeise.
Judge Jno. +. Rea Of Minneapolis. chos-
en- commander in chief Of the grand army
at the st. Louis meeting j. a lawyer Of
Pennsylvania birth ard is II years old to-
day. Served in an Ohio regiment during
the war. Was assessor internal revenue IN
Pennsylvania 'G8-'73. Became editor Mn
aeaDoiis Tribune in IS. Has since been on
the district bench out there.
In its new volume, beginning with the
November number, The Amsrican NrgGsiac
will add some very important features to its
monthly departments; these will include
book reviews by Julian Hawthorne. "Cal-
endar Of Health" By Dr.. II Hutchinson, and
Household Art" with Illustrations, by
Jennie June.
A great sensation has been occasioned at
Point Pleasant, w Va, by the finding Of
the skeletons Of four human beings, evil
IDENTIFY men, in the bottom Of an old well
few miles from The town. The well is stu
ated on what is known as the old McCand-
less farm, where generation ago public
house vas kept There has been for many
years stories current among the old inhabi-
tants Of the mysterious disappearance Of
travellers at the old tavern
Paul Hamilton Haync. the Southern poet,
left with Maurice Thompson the materials
FOR biography Mr. Thompson does not
think it is iiuc yet for such publication,
but will contribute ap appreciatiye sketch
of his brother poet to The Aa'erieaa Ifrga-
| -,,c f,r No-er1ber