Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-07-13
Base Ball in Indianapolis.

There is one lady in indianapolis
who will probably never become an
enthusiastic admirer of our national
game.
The individual to whom | refer is
Mrs. McDuffy. l had the misfortune
to occupy seat adjoining hers dur
ing the opening game between the
Detroits and the home club, and the
following were the remarks on the
occasion referred to:
81 don't see why some women can't
understand base ball. If there is
anything about it that can't see
through it will be strange" said she
to her husband. "Who are those big
fellows over there"
"Why, the Big Four of course" /"
said he.
"Oh, yes, how stupid 1 am. l sup
pose that is Jay Gould watching the
Big Four-so closely. Didn't he say
'one strike? ? He is responsible for
those dreadful strikes, isn't he! Do
you think the men will strike to-day"
Great Heavens, woman, are you
crazy? That is the umpire. Can't
you keep quiet and watch the game ?"
he growled.
Certainly will" she said. "But
where is the Detroit team? l amt
seen team to-day any different from
Indianapolis horses. Do they bring
them right out on the grounds' l
should think they would get frighten-
ed in such crowd rs this and kick
and cut up awfully. Do you think
they will ?"
at is possible" he answered resign
edly. There are some kicking
teams"
81 am so glad that ! am up here
out of danger. What did that man
do then Z"
"Struck a foul"
"Struck a poor, innocent fowl The
hateful thing / didn't see any fowl I!
What kind was it What are they
cheering for ?"
Thompson caught fly"
"Now Mr.. McDuf1y, don't sit there
and tell me you could see anything 30
small as fly at this distance. Be.
sides it is too early for flies. What
do they want to stop game of base
ball to catch flies for anywayi Do
tell me what that man is acting so sill
ly about ?"
"Trying to steal base"
"The wicked thief! Where is the
base ?"
"Over there" exclaimed McDufy.
THAT is the first base, that other the
second, and the one nearest, the third"
"Are they, indeed, and that is the
soprano in the middle, l suppose"
"Ah, yes" groaned McDuffy, "you
are getting it down fine."
"See, that naughty man has knock
ed the ball clean out of sight-wasn't
that mean! Don't you suppose they
will discharge hint What are they
cheering for now? Making home
run Well / should think he would
and stay there too, after such an ex-
hibition Of temper. What-did you
say they were going to whitewash
them ? Do they just whitewash them
all over-face and all Z"
"Ah," said McDufy savagely, "you
have got it now. That's the way to
fix them, and afterwards calcimine
them, and fresco them, and dodo them
and put on French roofs. How proud
l am of you Mrs. McDuffy, all you
need is a whitewash brush to be full
Aedged member of he Lime Kiln
Club"
"How funny you are, McDufiy.
Did that man say that they were Civ
ing the visitors goose eggsi Now
what do they want with goose eggs in
a game of base ball Z It's getting
worse and worse. l don't see what
people go crazy over base ball for,
anyway understand the game, as
far as that is concerned, but there's
nothing in it. If there is anything
smart in bringing oht thousands of
people to watch them catch flies and
try to steal base, and goose eggs,
and muf1s, and crack pitchers, and the
Lord only knows what else-I can't
see it. The next thing they'll be
bringing in that team and kill some-
body, and don't propose to stay and
see it. If you'll just see me to the
carriage, Mr.. McDuffy, I'll go home.
I've had all the base ball / want"
The disgusted lady departed, to the
evident satisfaction of her husband,
who soon returned to enjoy the re-
mainder Of the game in peace.-Ex.