News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-04-28
THE LIME.KILN CLUB,
Brother Gardiner Continues His
Advice to Members.
From the Detroit Free Press.]

!
'tDe case of Brudder James Warren
of Miner Hill, Tenn, will be fust took
en- up" said Brother Gardiner as h
| opened the meeting and winked to E.
| der Toots to push another empty hel
ring box into the stove. "Brudder Wal
ren claims dat he am bewitched, an b
has written to dis club to ask it to d.
sunthin' to drive de evil speerits away
1t has got to sich pass dat de witche
take his ole mule outer de ba n at nigh
an ride him all ober de kentry, an
Brudder Warren feels speerit hands pass
in ober his face an pullin' his h'ar Q
nights. Dis club will do sunthin' frl
him. IF he war local member wee
cure him i'll about ten minits. As b,
am an honorary, an fur away, We
shall cross his name OFT de books an seno
him otfishul notis dat he am O bounced
man.
81 hev repeatedly referred to dis mat
ter of supertishun, an if members CAM
be enlightened dey kin be fired out. De
day of ghosts, hobgoblins an witches
has passed away, an de Guild man who
can't believe it has no bizness in dis
club. Mebbe dar' was a time when
witches went chasin' round de kentry on
an ole raw-boned mule, scarin' people
half to death an leavin a trail of fab an
smoke, but things hev changed. De
wedder hain't right fur 'em now, an de
purleece Civ 'em de collar an send 'em
to de work house.
''Mebbe speerit hands hev bin laid on
Brudder Warren, but I doubt it. /
guess Tennessee whiskey had a good
deal to do wild it. All O you jist listen
to me when I say dat de fust complaint
of speerit hands in Detroit will be fol-
lowed by scene to make somebody s
heart ache! Be keerful how unknown
hands pull yer ha'r. De member of dis
club who sees a witch had better keep
powerful quiet about it or he'll be turn
ed ober to de Kickin' Committee to be
dealt wild. De Seckretary will write to
Brudder Warren dat we hev done sun
thin fur him. an notify our branches at
Chattanooga an Knoxville dat he has
ben fired"
The Chairman of the Committee on
Internal Harmony then announced his
readiness to report ON the case of Trus-
tee Pullback VS.. Whalebone Howker.
The two members live in adjoining
cabins, and were considered friends as
well as neighbors until Trustee gave a
molasses candy-pull and invited in
score Of friends and left Mr.. and Mrs.
Howker at home to chew the cud of re-
Election instead of his candy. Howker
to this club under bylaw 98
defining fraternal feeling, and the case
has been hanging fire several weeks.
The Chairman now reported:
eve not only interviewed all of de
parties, but we ate some of de candy.
While We would incouraige a fraternal
feelln' among members, an while we
believe dat members Orter do mo- fur
each odder dan fur outsiders, we mus
leclar' our belief dat one member am
not obleeged to invite anoder member
TO de sanctity of his home. In dis case
Brudder Pullback knowed dat Brudder
Hewker had sore eyes an bad cough,
an dat his wife was hard o. hearin' an
yiven to de habit of spittin' on de stove. |
oeir presence could not hev added to de !
'clat OF dc occaShun, an 1t was fur bet |
er under de circumstances dat dey be |
eft out. We would, an do, unanimous
Y absolve Brudder Pullback from any
Evil intent"
On motion of Rev. Penstock the re-
port was accepted. He said he was glad
he case had come up and been officially
acted ON, as he lived in the midst of
many members of the club, and had
been greatly annoyed by their interpre-
alton of friendly feelings. He would
end brother member a flat iron sooner
han an outsider, but when it came down
o giving party he should invite and
cave out whom he pleased.