The Sunday herald., 1887-01-30
wanted Information.

IhTkautaW lTaVeleT.I
Josephus Hillm, an old fellow who lives
far away from business strife and social
hypocrisy, came to town the other day aud
called at Col. Bulgarth's law office, and Bull
garth. being prospective candidate, invited
old Josephus home with him. Josephus is
very quiet man, a man who longs for
privacy-if he can take boiled ham along
with him. His modesty has never placed
an obstruction in the way of his appetite, 81
when Bulgarth said, "Uncle 10, you must
take dinner with me-" Uncle 10 threw a
quid of tobacco on the floor and allowed that
he wasn't very hungry, but put OH an air
which gave the lawyer cause to hope that
his hospitality would not b. thrown away.
The. old fellow ate with that lack of re
serve which pays high but expensive com
pliment TO cookery. Mrs. Bulgarth WAS, she
declared, much pleased with the plain aud
unassuming old man, and when he went
away she hoped that he might come again.
Just then she remarked:
"Wonder what has become Of those silver
nut-crackersS lput them at that old mans
plate, but he surely did not take them. TIA
very strange, though. What on earth does
that old mau, living away out in the hills,
want with nut tcraukersR No, | won't be-
lievs that ls Is guilty"
With woman's intuition, however, she
did believe it, and the next night when the
Colonel came home she asked:
"When do yOu suppose that old fool Is
going tn bring my nut crackers back p
"Oh, he hasn't got your nut.crackers."
"Ijust know he has. saw him looking
at them"
"Yes," the husband replied, "aud while
he was here saw him looking at you, but
| noticed that he did not take you away
with him."
"Oh, please don't be fool Those nut
crackers used to bsIong to my grauin, ,ther,
and ! have been offered good price for
them, but wouldn't part with them"
at seems that you have"
She glared at him aud replied: "When |
married you did not think that would be
expected to entertain thieves"
Just then there came ring at the door
bell. Old Jossphus was shown into the sit.
ing room.
"Colonel," said he, "you don't blame a
man when he's bothered TO ride a long dis.
tsnce after knowledge, do you 7"
"Certainly not"
can you don't mind answsrin' 'portant
question, do you 7"
"Surely not"
"Wall," continued the old man, putting
his hand into the tall pocket of his brown
Jeans coat and hauling ont the nut-orackers,
"whut sort o. blamed bullet moulds do you
call these, anyhow Pm q putty smart
man, an wife she ain't slow, au' we tried
an tried, but blamed II we could get tha
hang o. these moulds. Lowed to go out
squirrel shooting, an as | tell you, l done
my best, but nary a bullet"
They are my nut-craokers. Give 'enl
here 7" screamed Mrs. Bnlgarth.
Take 'em; take 'em," said the old man.
"l'm mighty glad to know that they amt
bullet monlds, for my mind is relieved pow
erful. While wGs at your table, an you
KEEP ON tellin' me to hep myself, thinks,
hanged Of don't hep myse'f to them bullet
moulds, fur these folks amt go' no use for
'sm.' Wall, tuck 'em. an when | got
home told my wife that | reckonsd that
had leetle the finest bullet moulds she
ever seed. Wife is a mighty hand fur finery
an thought she'd take duck at when she
looked at 'em. An putty soon | got the
ladle and melted some lead an'-wall, you
oughter seed our disappointment when we
found that We couldn't get the hang o. the
blamed thing. Wife lowed that If she
couldn't make better par o. moulds she'd
quit; an thought that the beat thing |
could do wus to come back here am get a
little information. But as they amt bullet
mouldc nohow-which greatly helps ma, fur
| didn't know but me an wife wus losin'
our minds-w'y | amt got no more to say.
Wall, much obleegsd for the Information
Good day. Wait mint. III you've a
snack layin' round anywhar m eat few
before CO."