The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-11-09
Written expressly for the seEtlnel.
ICnnvrlchted. 1857.

copyrighted, 1857,
AN OLD sAw DESTROYED.
Sunday Rule.
Better late than never" said Mr.. Slow
pay cheerfHlly, as be stepped mp TO the
cashiers window. The bank man shook
his head. 81 don't know about that" he
said. with reluctant air of q man who
hates to go back on an old saying; sit went
to protest yesterday, and madden man
than the holder ! never went to see. He'll
squeeze you for all you are worth now, /
tell you" And 80 he did. Ny dear boy,
it might as well be never" as "late," when
you're after that last train
OUT or PLACE.
Dull Sickening Thud entered an ed
itor's office and announced that he had
been out of place for several weeks aud
would work for board wages. Now may
the Fates mend you" replied the great
man, "but indeed you are out OF plac'.
Don't you know that you are in the State
OF Maine, whence the laws abolished you
years ago." With Perceptible Shudder
the visitor fell upon himself ard was no
more.
HoNoRS ARR EASY.
A girl in Starke County, Florida, barks
constantly like q dog. Well, the power of
imitation is not confined to the human
race. We have heard plain, home-bred
cats that sang Just like some girls. And
yet it didn't add to the popularity OF the
cat.
THE IMMoRTALs
The man who wrote the famous war
song, Tramp, Tramp, Tramp" is still
alive. So are the tramps.
PROGRESS IN SURGICAL SCIENCE.
The papers announce that the Stuart
Monument Association will "erect a fine
granite shaft TO mark the spot where Gen.
J. +. b. Stuart was wounded" Now, IL
somebody bad marked Garfeld's wound
in that plain manner. ten to one some of
the doctors would have found it before he
died.
1.-THE SON OF HIS FATHER"
My boy, the man who boots at another
man because he is only "the son of his
father must have mighty mean father
Of his own. 1t is no disgrace, but rather
an honor, to be the son of your father. III
you are ashamed OF being the SON of your
father, think how your father must feel
to have such son.
SUFFERING IRELAND.
Such a demand is there for the chips
from the trees OF Hawarden, that the
painful announcement is made that Mr..
on his hands.
AN OLD CHILD.
Sir" said the prisoner, II did not pay
this man for my refreshments, because |
know nothing OF the value of money.
never pay my debts. 1 am a child of gen.
ius.' and what is your age2" asked the
justice. "Forty-two years" Then it is
time you were weaned," aud his honor
gave him thirty DAYS away from the bot
tie.
ANTIQUE cARvERs.
Recent excavations at Pompeii have
brought to light complete set OF surgical
instruments. All? This, then, accounts
for the mutilation of many of the ancient
statues OF great and wicked Romans.
AN EMPTY NAME.
An anonymous letter, my boyf No, it
doesn't mean exactly that the letter has
no name; it means that the writer has
none. That is, the writer is, as a rule, a
man so obscure, or OF so little influence or
strength, under the circumstances, that it
wouldn't add one ounce of weight to his
letter If be signed it with his own full
name, instead of Citizen" Tax payer"
or Constant Reader"
FOR SALE.
A suggestion for q millionaire in search
OF a play thing-s base ball club costs mo.e
than a yacht or q seat in the Senate, and
they are now all in the market together.
LEFT IN 'FRONT.'"
Funny things, our national games
here's man in Newark sprained his ankle
playing tossbass, and chap in Chester
broke his arm playing football.
TOO GOOD TO COME OFT.
Several papers are praislng the conduct
of Hr. James d. Fish in the penitentiary.
| This shows the great value OF prohibitory
laws. See how easy it is for a man TO be
good in the penitentiary, when for the
very life Of him he can't behave himself in
| good society.
IT CAME THE WRONG WAY.
! A Mississippi editor was knocked sense
/ less by brick which was thrown through
/ the window and smote him on the head.
Had the editor gone down stairs and
/ carried the brick up in his hat, it wouldn't
have hurt his head until some time the
next day. And by the time it began to
hurt he would have been sensible.
MEETING THE EMERGENCY.
Sire" said the secretary, bowling low
twenty thousand men are ont on strike.
TITS well, replied the noble coal baron
\ for it was he-''put up the price of Goa
fifty cents a ton" But" said the secrs
tary, looking second time at the dispatch
they are not coal miners, but shoemaker,
and matters who are on strike" Pat GI
the price seventy.6ve cents" said thu
baron, this strike will make labor
cheaper"
A LITERARY REUNION.
There are about forty Welsh minister
occupying pulpits In London. 1t must b
q glad day for the lost and lonely HIS Il
have all the rest of the consonants joininl
them in one wild, Yrpgrtwddous process
sion.
NOTHING TO DIE EoR.
why did Methusaleh live nine hun
cred years. Because, my boy, there va
no good reason why he should die. Their,
was nothing to make him tired of life
There were no dudes. no politics, no an
archists, no railroads, no schools, no books
no newspapers, no elections, no base bal
clubs, no picnics-why should Methusalei
want to die and 60 to heaven? What wa
the matter with the earth? A mat
wouldn't want to live nine hundred year
now, il he could, unless he was fool, anS
then nobody else would want him TO liv
ninety days.
THE WORLD OF FIGURES.
The Sunday papers last week issued al
extra edition and published q condenss
ton of the bowling averages OF the cricke
| IL he forS ha o.f Tho fahIo 1anH BOD