Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
Shall / forget?
MY QUEER LEGACY.
London World.


also diffident. My diffidence has stood in
my way throughout nay life, it is so horri-
bly, apparent; and it is probably through
my unfortunate diffidence that I have so
few friends. [ hardly know a soul at my
club outside the card-room, where it used
to be my custom to play four rubbers of
whist every afternoon, The card-reOm at
the Rice and Curry Club, when l was a
useless member of society, was my idea
perfect bliss; there were no draughts
there, no noises, no disturbing Influences
Last year some of the radical reformers
for we have radical reformers even at
the Rice and Curry-succeede in intro
ducing ridiculous innovation. In the
memory of the oldest member, no female
form, during club hours at least, was
ever known to desecrate that great mon
astery of Oriental dervishes, the Rice and
Curry. But they made an absurd addition
to the rules last year. Ladies are allowed
to partake of refreshments in the stran-
gers dining room at the Rice and Curry,
if accompanied by member, during GER
tain hours of the afternoon. The stran-
gers dining room is a gruesone apart
meut, and [ don't think the ladies have
much to be thankful for. With this new
tangled exception, I am happy to say
that the Rice and Curry is still free from
any disturbing influence.
L am by no means a brilliant whist
player. / object TO the "Peter," and look
upon it as form of swindling; it may be
prejudice, it probably is. You will
agree that am not brilliant whist play
er when L say that my losses at the game,
though [ never bet, certainly used to cost
me e2O0 year. That was a very serious
matter to me then, for it was before l
came into my fortune, before l became a
busy man and philanthropist.
1t is of the strange manner of my com
ing into the fortune, and of my becoming
philanthropist, that about to tell.
Philanthropy like dram drinking, is an
affection that grows on one; l, whose
summun bonum was quiet rubber, am
now rabid philanthropist. This is how
it came about:
Though L am very dlthdent man,
Campbell was certainly more retiring.
Campbell was China merchant. 1 do
not mean that he sold crockery, but he had
been head of a great mercantile firm in
China, and in China he had made his
money. I had never spoken to Campbell
in my life; he a sad looking man,
very taciturn, but he used to smoke un-
commonly good cigars. He used to sit
on one side of the fireplace, [ on the
other, and there we sat and smoked far
into the night. After several years, we
used to nod to each other, but we never
spoke; that would have been quite con-
trary to the etiquette at the Rice and
Curry. Wugsby-a most Objectionable
person, who looks upon himself as the
club wit and keeps a little manuscript
book of jokes, in which he notes down
anything amusing that he may pick up,
rl off &C
his own said that Campbell and I re-
sembled the two statues at the gate of
Bedlam, Melancholy and Raving Madness.
OF course he meant to hurt my feelings,
but he failed; for [ took the Melancholy
to myself, in which there is nothing de.
graded, and put the Ravipg Madness
down to Campbell. Possibly Campbell
did as | did.
As L have said, [ am very sharp-sighted.
/ sat staring at Campbell as he smoked
in silence. [ had been in that chair two
hours, and when I say that I had just
ordered my second whiskey and soda, it
will be seen that / am not a drinking
man. Campbell is old-fashioned and al
ways shows a large expanse of shirt-front.
We're my eyes deceiving me? They never
yet had deceived me, those sharp eyes of
mine. But there could not be doubt of
it; en- insect was slowly, very slowly.
crawling up Campbell's shirt front. 1t
will be quite sufficient when | vail the
Vulgar name of that insect by saying that
the name of certain musical note ex-
pressed its character. [ would have trav-
eled from London to Edinburgh, or from
Southampton to Bombay in the same P.
and O. boat without speaking to him.
But this was not a moment for half meas
ures.
Il beg your pardon" l said ''don't
move, but there's something GA your
Shirt
Campbell dropped his eyes removed the
Obiectional thing and thanked me. but he
did SO in careless sort of way, as though
the finding of Objectionable things on
his shirt front was common occurrence,
every day affair. L was naturally
surprised at his taking the thing SO
coolly.
1--WE ought to send for the steward at
once!" said, in my natural Indignation.
'Good gad sir, the place is perhaps in,
festedI"
Don't excite yourself" replied Camp
bell, sits my fault; get them in my
work"
''Good gracious!" was all I could utter
in my horror and establishment; and then
did a very stupid thing-I manifested
curiosity. At the Rice and Curry to
manifest curiosity in anything whatsoever
is looked upon as the very worst Of bad
form.
"Ah," said interrogatively, you 60 in
for old furniture and things of that sort,
eh?"
No." said Campbell, Il bring them
from the East End
looked round the room for a witness
to this horrible confession. Talk of dis
turbing influences! Here was a man who
boosted in cold blood that he brought
disturbing influences of the most aboGsin-
able kind into the club smoking room.
For once IN my life my diffdence vanish
ed. felt that l was called upon to per-
form a duty. that the eyes of the fourteen
hundred and ninety eight other members
would look to me to do that duty. and 1
instantly determined TO summon ageneral
meeting, and TO propose Cambells imme-
date expulsion.
"Do Won feel auy interest in nv work -,