The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-09-25

although a constant lookout was necessary tx
keep clear of the never-drying hogs.
During the day no trace was met with Of
either Southerners Seminoles. 1t might bs
that the Spaniard had gone down the left bank
which was clear of obstacles; but by either bank
the road lay direct to the country mentioned IL
Zermah's letter.
[To BE CONTINUED NEXT sUNDAY.l
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Social Amenities.
Tid-Bits.
First Colored Dame-Yo is pore yaller trash
pore yaller trash wifi freckles
Second Colored Dame-1 may be yaller, an
may has freckles, but de holler OBJ my foot don
make no hole in de groun' like what yours do
Stuck Again.
Mrs. O'Hoolihan-Faix Dennis! An phat
are yez afther ooln now7
O'Hooihan-Begob, Rosy. it's meself as has
bought a music-stool for Katie, an Olive beer
woinding the bastely thing up for over an hour
an not dhrop of music can Oi get out of it O.
all, at ALL
An Enduring Proof Of Devotion.
Harper's Bazaar.
'And do You really love me- Georgel" she
asked.
Love you'll" repeated George, fervently
'Why. while was bidding you good-b on the
porch last night, dear, the dog bit q large chunk
out Of my Leg and never noticed it until got
home. Love you'll"
Lucky There Were No Turtles.
''What shell-like ear you've got, Miss Smith.
he said, as they sat IN the sand at Coney island
And Miss Smith looked up and down the wave
she saw nothing but clam and oyster shells
They returned to New York without waiting
to see the fireworks.
The Ruling Passion.
New York Sun.
"My dear" said a husband, gently rousine
his wife-the lady was dangerously ill-'Mrs
DeHobson called a little while ago and left hel
love and sy mpathy for you. She seemed deeply
affected"
John" said the sick lady in a very weak tone
of voice, as she slowly Enclosed her eyes, what
did she have on?'
viii Die an Old Maid.
Boston Journal.
my DEAR" said fond papa to his daughter
''why don't you get married." II will, papa,
replied the young lady, 'as soon as come across
a gentleman who doesn't drink, nor smoke, nor
play billiards. and who goes church regular
Iy;" land, my good child" solemnly replied the
old man, you are but stranger here Heaven
is your home
Too Late for Reform.
Norristown Herald.
A magazine devoted to spelling reform says:
"When peopl becum accustmed TO the new at
tire of sum familiar words they viii more redily
assent to more and more changes" Don't be-
liev we'd ever lern to spell in such a ridlculus
nanr. The old stile speln is gud enuf fur us,
and biologists had betr let orthografy alone.
1t is tn late tn max nu departers in this
caractr.
Peniten.iary for Reform.
New York Sun.
Visitor ito convict)-what are you in for, my
friendf
Convict got ten years at hard labor for
swindling.
Misunderstanding is very bad. What labor
do you have to dol
ConvictATm in the shoe department., sir. I
cut out the pieces Of pasteboard which are put
between the soles.
Don't Believe In 1t.
Tid-Bits.
asked an Arkansas school board Of an applicant
for position as teacher of q rural school
e do b'leeve in WHAT"
''In corporal punishment"
'No DON'T" was tho reply. 81 don't b'leeve
in none o. these fancy now kind o. punishments.
Gimme keen willer CAD, or good timber
hck'ry club, an you can go to grass with your
corp'ral kind o. punishments."
What Stirred His Heart
Boston Transcript
Henry George used to be an inspector of gas
Omaha man-.'Well! WELL He has kind
heart suppose"
"a kind heart"
EYES, I suppose his sympathes were aroused
on the poverty question by noticing the very
small quantity Of food in the cellars of those
who burned gas"
A Fetching Hymn.
Musical Herald.
There was difficulty among the singers, and,
it being rumored a settled fact that the choir
would not sing note on the next Sabbath, the
out that HYMN of Watts's Come Ye that Love
the Lord" After reading it throuh. he looked
up very emphatically at the choir and said, ''Y
will begin at the second verse:
Let those refuse to sing
Who never knew our God. )"
They sang that hymn.
Right To Be Mad.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
I'm as mad hornet this mornin'." re-
marked Connecticut matron to a visitor.
"D'yeou meet big. healthy -lookin' tramp lit
tie ways daown the road!"
~ believe / did"
'Waal, I barg'ned with that TELLER to saw
cord o. wood for his breakfast and 10 cents"
wall. he ct breakfast enough fer four men.
an then ne went aout an hired my husband ter
saw the wood fer nickel. an he slept in the
barn till it was done. I only fest faound it
store and know he'll squander that hull
cents on peppermint loZenges."
How 1t Happened.
washfngto Critic.
s'How did you happen to fall off the boatf asked
a young man. after a member of his boating
party was resuscitated.
s.It was in this way: I was lying top Of
the cabin and 1 heard somebody talking. They
were cuddled down where the boom couldn't
strike them and pretty soon q coo struck my
ears. 1t said
'Tiahed. dahlingp
"'Tiahed some
Sleepy, dahliugV
Sleepy some
Kiss me, dahlingF
''Smack!
s.And that's when rolled off into the water"
Modern Business Methods.
Omaha World.
Adventurer-I have dropped in. sir. to buy
the Baltimore g. Ohio road.
New York Banker-Ahi Glad to you.
Take a seat. There is the safe: help yourself.
with pleasure. l can't buy railroad with