Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-10-21
WIT AND HUNIOR.

a man wns to he tried in Texas
for murder, who had killed u noto-
rious outlaw in sclf.deicnce, and
had tho popular sympathy with
him. On being nrrnigned, he plead
ed not guilty, whercupon ono of tho
jurors seized his hnt and started
for the door. "Come buck hcre, and
keep your place in tho jury box till
this man is triodn called out the
Judge, "Tried Z" scornfully OK.
clnimcd the juror; "why, tho cow
ard acknowledges llc was not gull.
typ
USED To IT.-"Are yon hurtl'
shrieked II dozen picnlcking females
as young man was tossed over ~
noighboring fence by m angry hull
and landed OH his hcud in the mid.
dle of the road. "Hurtrr he an.
swcred. "Why, Of course not. I'm
used to coming down that way"
USED to il! exclaimed tho fnir
chorus. "Why, how can that bes"
II own bicycle" was the renssur.
ing reply.
a speaker ut an anniversary
meeting, while referring to "tho ead
changes Of the passing years."
mourninlly said: "Ono by one our
old friends are leaving us for the
world of shadows; one by one they
pass on, never to return" "Wcll,"
exclaimed IN old lady, "aint it hot.
ter they SHOULD 90 one by onei You
wouldn't have 'em go two by two,
or all in ~ huddle, would you ~
A Boetonian, who was OH bust.
ness trip to Now York, astonisheP
his friends by Hnying that ho must
hurry home, as lie had wife and
throo children in Boston, and had
never soon ono of them. They un.
derstood him, however, on learning
that the ono be Ind never seen was a
baby That had boon born since he
left home.
"Pa, how long did il take you to
get over your bite?" asked littlo
Georgia, ono morning Mt breakfast.
"Get over my bitol What do you
mean by such n question, Georgia 2"
why, Aunt Ruth said yesterday that
you was awfully bitten when you
married mn because you thought she
had fortune in hor own name."
a tailor sent homo n now cont to
n doctor, which didn't fit him, and he
sent 1t back. Soon afterwards they
met ut n funeral of ono of the doc
tors patients, when the tailor, point.
ing to the coffin, said: "Ah, Doctor,
you're lucky mans you mover have
any of your bad work returned on
your handsW
A writer snys TINT detective, after
being kept on the alert for nearly
week, "went to bed and enjoyed tho
sound, dreamless sleep of utter un-
consciousness.' How can man en-.
Joy anything when he is utterly un-
conscious?
"Ah, my dear boy" said nm old
man to his nephew, 81 am getting to
be very. wenk--quito broken down
with age. I used to walk entirely
around the park every day; but now
I can only walk half way round and
back again."
"Don't be a fooll' snappiahly said
q scolding woman to her husband.
"Why didn't you tell me that whenI I
asked you to marry me I" he quietly
retorted, and silence fell upon tLat
domestic circle.
An old sailor says he doesn't think
that Columbus is entitled to 80 much
credit, after all, for discovering
America, as the country is SO awfully
large he could not easily have missed
it.
A little girl asked her sister: "what
was chaos, that papa reads abouta"
The older child replied: sWhy, it is
a great pile of nothing, and no place
to put it in."
An old clergyman's advice to
youpS, ,one-'D on't have too many
head Z yonr sermons. If you do,
Won will And n d;ff,cnlt 10 sacnras -