The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-11-05
County Gossip.

Should Virgins claim that storms will
blow,
Go sailing son, and fear not;
But should he prophecy calm,
Into the ocean steer not.
And should he say the sun will shine,
Then look tor drenching rains out.
IT'S strange the killer with his club
Don't knock the fellows brains out
-Wdshington Hatchet.
When the solemn hours Of the eventide
were Fastening the close Of day, an timer
ant song bird opened Its little beak In front
Of Michael Formulas wet grocery empo-
rum, and the notes of "Brsnnigan's Pup"
we're rendered with charming emphasis.
Just then MILLER" the crusty necked night
man of the Ind. Times, came around the
corner. Very suggestive.
49,
The Fire Department wants II emphati.
cally understood that when the Victor Rol.
Ter Mills intends building a fire In Its stove
las was the case on last Sunday evening" II
must send a man around town with a trans.
parency giving due notice of the fact to all
excitable individuals. This thing of call.
Ing out the department to quench fires In
stoves Is becoming obsolete.
49,
The Free Press the other day found 1t
necessary to give Mr.. j. b. Smiley, late Of
this paper, notice. As Mr.. Smiley Is not
here to defend himself, we can only re-
mark that Mr.. Smiley is gentleman,
through and through, which. under the
circumstances we hardly feel warranted In
saying of the editor of the Free Press.
The La Sale Democrat says the Utica
Tile Works "a. T. Griffin has sold 10000
and contracted to sell 10000 more tile In
La Sale which are "all glazed and citrio-
lied and will last a life time" Come, now,
John, are MT you putting 1t just trifle too
strong. It's enough to have them glazed
without having them uitriolized to burn
ones coat tails off when one unwittingly
sits down on them!
1t becomes our stern duty to unearth one
of the direst frauds ever practiced upon
the bondsmen of a public officer. Think
of 1t! County Treasurer Wright Adams is
the medel of neatness In dress and man.
ners, and yet he has habit of carefully
removing his Immaculate shoes and throw
ing his delicate pedal extremities into a
huge pair of boots whenever he goes up to
Sheridan, knowing full we'll that, did he
but for the nounce appear in his Puritan
home-village with his arched instep In
cased In the natty little shoes he wears
about Ottawa, his boDdsmen would at once
demand their release. Monstrous!
***
We supposed that when Fred Smith, the
horse-thief, escaped from the custody of
the turnkey of the jail, that this McGarigle
racket had ceased to be fashionable. But
We acknowledge our mistake. Another
hair. Drained officer of the law, this time
hailing from Tonica. has allowed Gordon
King and Thomas Seery, who had been ar
rested, to get away from him on the "get
some.water" chestnut. Is this thing be
coming epidemic9 Can 1t be that William
j. McGarigle has, In his poor, weak way
contributed another craze to Americas long
list of surprise parties and phoolishness
Why, we shant be surprised now, even II
we hear that Geo. W. w. w. w. Blake
has had his hair cut.
*.*
II We remember distinctly, and from
having our attention called to 1t, by a sue
cession Of disappointments the next morn
Ing, when We found nearly wagon.load Of
cabbage stumps and fourteen cows eating
those stumps on our front walk, Monday
evening was Halloween. On Tuesday
morning, when Mr. Carl Zwanzig, the baby
eyed quill.driver of the Herold, wende(
his way to his sanctum sanctorum, hi
nearly fell down the stairs in his pleasure
His door, bore in fragrant characters, whose
tints cast bright carmine shadow on "Doc'
Butterfield's door--"RED HANDED ANARCH
IsT!"
On the same eventful morn, If our mem
DRY still remains as fresh and bright as O
yore, Mr.. Lester A. Rose discovered at tn
foot of his cellar steps, placard labelled
"ROsE. BLACKSMITH" And the yillial