Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1887-11-10
Bill Nye ON Hotels.


Bill Nye on Hotels.
America has made many gigantic
strides, writes Bill Nye, in the Nelo
York WorLd, aside from those made at
the battle of Bull Run, and her people
spend much of their time pointing with
pride to her remarkable progress, but
we are prone to dwell too much upon
our advantages as q summer resort and
our adroit methods of declining the
Presidency before we are asked, while
we forget some Of our more important
improvements, like the elevated rail-
way and the American hotel.
Let us, for moment, look at the
great changes that have been wrought
in hotels during the past century. How
marked has been the improvement
and how wonderful the advancement |
Everything has been changed. Even
the towels have been changed
Electric bells, consisting of long
and alert wire with an overcoat button
at one end and reticent boy at the
other, have taken the place of the
human voice and -browed red elm
club. Where once we were compelled
to fall down a dark, narrow staircase,
now we can 60 down the elevator or
wander down the wrong stairway and
find ourselves in the laundry.
Where once we were mortified by be-
ing compelled to rise at table, reach
nine feet and stab porous pancake
with our fork, meantime wiping the
milk gravy out of large yellow bowl
uIth fof
tall, 1.-the gentleman in full dress suit
to pass us the pancakes.
Even the bar-rooms of American ho-
tells are changed. Once the bartender
waited till his customer ran all his re.
marks into one long hoarse word, with
fooik oikeff8Gf fmG By I'll the tee tce6Isr and he
out into the cold and chaotic night.
Now the bartender gradually rises on
the price of drinks till his customer is
frozen out, and while he is gone to the
reading-room to borrow some more
money the chemist moves the bar some
where else, and when the guest returns
he finds barber shop where he thought
he left bar-room.
It is very rare now that we see q
United States Senator shaking two
year-old Mambrino hair trunk up three
flights of stairs to his room in order TO
secure the labor vote. Men, as well as
hotels and hotel soap, have changed.
Where once q cake of soap would only
last few weeks, science has come in
and perfected a style of pink soap,
favored with vanilla, that will last for
years, and a new slippery elm towel that
is absolutely impervious to moisture.
Hand in hand this soap and towel go
gayly down the corrldors OF time, wei
coming the coming and speeding the
parting guest, jumping deftly out
of the hands of the aristocracy
into the hands of q receiver, but
always calm, smooth, and latherless.
A great many droll characters and
bright, shrewd men are met with
among hotel proprietors wherever you
go. "The Fat Contributor" was lectur-
ing once in the State of Kentucky. and
had occasion to take dinner at six
bit hotel. After the meal Mr.. Girls
void stepped up to the counter, took
out bale of bank notes, which he had
received for his lecture the evening be-
fore, and asked what the damage was.
buO Bihoo
gentleman, who had buttoned his col
lar with ten-penny nail, while he
looked at "Gris" with q panied expire
SION.
"Yes, but q man ought to be able to
board here a week for $50. The whole
house didn't cost more than $40 or : 10.
What's your idea in charging me SO for
wad of hominy and a piece oi
parched pork?"
"Well, sir" said the urbane land.
lord. as he put out the fire at q dis
tance of twenty feet by emptying his
salivary surplus on it, Il need the
money!"
The frankness and open, candid
and he asked him if he thought 81
would be enough. The landlord said
he could get along with that. Ther
Griswold opened his valise and tool
out largo brunette bottle of liniment
marked "For external use." He passed
it over to the landlord and told hin
that this stuff worked as we'll on the
inside as it did on the outside. In {
few moments the liniment of the "Fa'
Contributor" and the liniment of the
landlord had merged into each other
and a friendly feeling sprang up be
tween the two men which time ha'
never effaced. / have often though
of this and wondered why it is that no
tel men are not more open and cordia
with their guests. Many time 1 hav,
paid large bill grudgingly when
would have done it cheerfully if til,
landlord had told me he was in need