The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-07-10
I'm A CONSTABLE "

I'M A CONSTABLE"
His appearance was extremely lu-
dicrous. A scrawny Shanghai roos-
ter stuck into q broadcloth suit OF
clothes and billed" shirt might
possibly give an adequate idea Of his
personality on this occasion. After
squirming uncomfortably in his chair
until the mirth his appearance had
aroused among the strangers had sub
sided, he cleared his throat and made
the following announcement:
Ladies and Gents: Ez this sort
O. test case, an we want ter be fair
all aroun, I'm goin' ter appoint
three counsel ter represent the pros
ecushen. II the prisoner wants ter
hev the same privilege he kin
do ditto. | will give him five min
utes ter make up his mind, an l ad-
wise that he'd better take advantage
Of it."
A rap on the desk signifed that the
speech was concluded.
A curious scene was now present
ed. The magistrate leaned back in
his chair, and with great condescen-
sion borrowed chew OF tobacco
from one Of the three lawyers who
was representing the State. The
prisoner was being persuaded by his
friends that he had better give in
and take counsel. A number Of
strangers. DESTROYS OF prolonging the
fun, added weight to the argument
by mysterious hints As to what might
ensue il he sighted the judge by not
needing his advice. He finally Sc
lectsd three Of the twenty lawyers
who offered their services to oppose
those selected by the justice. They
consented to act for 50 apiece. Then
the trial was continued, after short
consultation among the defendants
counsel.
The farmer constable was called
and testified to finding the prisoner
in the act Of sneating over the fence.
He suspected, from the sly manner
10 which the defendant had attempt
ed 10 crawl over. that he was up TO
mischief. He had, therefore deter
mined TO nip in the bud any vile in
teutions that the defendant might
have had, and did so by exerting this
authority under the law. The de-
PENDANT attempted TO resist this au'
thority, but he (thc witness) soon
made him understand that even
though he was a wealthy city man,
he could not with impunity violate
the law or walk over its representa-
tive.
The last remark was followed by a
burst OF laughter from the city Wis
itors and a round Of applause from
the virtue stricken natives. The
stalwart witness glowered at the
mock and mild hammered defendant
and the magistrate pounded the desk
so that the spliuters began 10 fly.
The witness resuming detailed the
march from the place OF arrest to the
Jail. lie magnifed tho humble
pleadings Of the prisoner into at
tempts 10 bride the virtuous upholder
Of the law (meaning himseli) aud
spoke Of the appearance Of the pris-
oners friends az an overt attempt al
n rescue. When he had concluded
the counsel for the prosecution had
n wordy fight among themselves as 10
what should be the next step, and
finally decided to rest.
The senior counsel for the defense
then arose and did himself proud in
laying out the constable aud the
counsel for the prosecution, and even
threw out hints against the presiding
Justice. lie characterized the con.
stable as a hard hearted brute, whose
ravenous appetitr for lucro caused
him 10 forget even the common de-
cencics Of humanity, and the horizon
Of whose aims and desires is narrowed
down so that his vision is blurred
and he could not see the truth even
though Il stared him In the face
He pictured the child.like limo.
oence OF the prisoner, the distress Of
the poor young wife and the villainy
which separated them. He denied
the charge OF trespass aud dung Il
back into the face OF this black
hearted ialsiher.
There was moro applause aud then
the counsel for the prosecution had
their innings and literally sat on the
counsel for the defense, the merits
Of the case now being an outside
question.
81 kinder think, said the Justice,
thoughtfully. during breathing
spell, "thet the counsel hev used up
el much O. this courts time on Il
kin offord ter lose. It's gettin on
toward dinner time an I'm icolin'
kinder empty. | therefore fine the
prisoner t25 an dismiss III case.
| learned aitcrward that the JUDGES
decision had been prepared before
the trial, aud that IL was only a ques.
ton among the players on both sides
AZ 10 how much the prisoner ought
20 be blod. The latter and his
charming wife departed Immediately
after this conclusion 10 his mishap.
The fine was divided among the jus.
tice and some OF the lawyers who
were not employed.
CIiAkLts J. ROsEDAULT.