New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-06-05
no THOSE OFF FOR EUROPE.
ADVICE FROM AN OLD TRAVELLER.
wuAr TO DO AND ESPECIALLY WHAT NOT TO Do
HOW To Enjoy A TRIP ABROAD.

Travelling and doing Europe and that sort OF thing Ell
Very WELL it's big subject, but long ago got my idea
about II into pretty compact shape just as the moro
man travels the smaller grows the baggage that 10 iu
IT necessary to take with him."
The speaker was a well preserved man OF perhap
forty five, perhaps fifty or may be even MY "'o "
fact he had Just thatsort Of facewhc panes
IA 10 the age Of its eAcep, ioi
brown mustache, abundant irongray hair' cohpieAoi
rn6dv but not at all beefy gray eyes ana roman nose
rrhara vas abou. him an air OF repose unusual in .
country whose motto is or well might be Hurry up!
Vet he was an American and engaged In an extensive
busincss BY his famillars he is called Colonel - lie
was seated in Delmonicos cafe smoking cigar OF oe
cious fragrance with that lesurey air that DeoKen'
thorough appreciation of it, He had crossed the
thirty times u.,, ,
9what, won't take anything but q cigar Well,
ues Won are right Drink may sometimes stimulate Tue
imagination but 1t plays the mischief-w one res
for cold facts take 1t that above all things news
paper man ought to stick to cold facts His paeX was
to the light and it difficult to tell whether LIS sno
was one OF irony or frank approval.
You want to meander In my own fasnioh' as
t,ugh talking to some one about TO start for Europe
Well. that suits me best. When I'm running Tree
hate being compelled to huff UP by a question Ii
those metaphors don't tally with nautical SCIENCE 81
much the worse for nautical science.
"'Don't hurry.
@'Don't worry
swrte that advice plain and give IL plenty VI W
rfI were a preacher I'd preach only from thosc 'cA
we're a writer I'd write about nothing eise II .ii'
great American Nation doesn't heed It, sooner OF ia'er
there won't be sound liver q decent digestic sp-
paratus or clear head in the whole country ABOVE "i
don't On abroad with the expectation OF enjoying your
Golf unless prepared TO take pledge that you won
hurryf YOU can possibly help It, But II the tempaton
or the National habit is too strong would say W su
that certain happy Irishman was wont 70 renafA W -,
neighbors when they got upset about anything. %
asy; If you can't be aisy be as alsy ~ !oo A''
ALWAYS had great respect for that 1eiow'
ADVICE MADE UP OF L" DoN'Ts."
fayou, find my advice Is mainly made up OF 'donts
The Tourist concerns himself too much with what nc
oueh to do and not enough with what ne ought ho'
do Don't bother about getting seasicx' Don ihNes'
in apy socaed remedies for IT They are all deiusio
what is to be will be-, and you'll get seasick or won't
get seasck just according to your constitution
A. isn't half az bad rs it's represented to be- Peope say
that when you're seasck you wouldn't leave your pef'n
IN save your fe but I've noticed that when theresa
collision or anything of that sort people Tumble up Oh
deck mighty lively, seasick or not seaslck
sIf you're In doubt TO whether your want any lining
abroad or on the voyage, leave behind len 10 one
vouu get along Just as well without It. Avoid super
suons baggage Don't take any books with you' you'n
find plenty on board ship sDont start journal on
hoard ship You'll only record lot OF notions ABOUT
your fellow-passengers that your propapV niu az
wrong before the voyage is half over and wheh over
you'll find that you don't care about them an!ho"'
Besides nothing so plainly shows that q man Is DONG
a. for the frat time as this keeping OF journal And
it's apt to make one priggish
WHAT A MAN SHOULD NOT READ
aDon't try any solid reading On board sshp. heao
Mark Twain; read Bret Harte-read anything that you
can pick up half hour and then drop Inc atnos
phere of ship socially and otherwise isn't somehow
adapte to study All the reows who went In TOT heaVy
reading on board ship that I've ever met were borcs
Beware of bores Sheer off the first alarm You can't
insult anybody on board ship-not even bore-and III
You let bore fairly button hole you he Is likely 10
stick TO YOU for the rest Of the voyage IKE the ola man
of the sea TO sindbad the Sailor Don't be bore yourself
II you have particular hobby don't ride 1t on board
shin; you have any particular fad don't air It, Don't
exnect TO feel all that Byros fel-or pretended to feel
believe he pretended-about the Don't profess an
admiration for it that isn't genuine Ninety nine people
out OF hundred find that 1t becomes awfuly monot
onous after gazing it for few hours and before tho
voyage is they'd into ecstaces over any OF the
familiar and dcspsed of everyday life on shore
organ ash barrels bill collectors, PLUMBERS
sreetcars dogs, cats-any OF the nuisances OF nome
life See how on board ship people will stare at scrap
of sail hardly visible the horizon, and which, seen
from the shore they wouldn't look at second ume OF
concern themselves about at all It's because they tire
Of the sea- So instead OF trying to get up an enthusiasm
about tie sea,
The deep, the blue, the ever Free
a. tnat sort OF thing, try 10 scrape up an acquhT
nee with some pretty and entertaining gr-there are
many such every steamer that leaves New orK IN
the season-and 1t will repay you hundred per cent
better Don't gamble-you find better use Tor your
money on shore Don't try to outshine every oody IN
fleeing the stewards Have courage TO give theh just
what you think they deserve. Don't expect the TREND
ships you make board ship to lasti somehow they
never but get all the pleasure out OF them you can
while the voyage lasts.
AMERICANS SHOULD NOT BE TOO LOYAL
@when you get ashore don't feel 1t incumbent upon
you to make American eagle scream On every posi-
BILE occasion Don't indulge In comparisons unayorapie
TO the country you in when talking to the people OF
It. Somehow foreigners don't appreciate our greatness
IS do ourselves You may pity their ignorance ou
II you try to enghten them you'll only get yourse os
liked. Why Englishmen actually have conceit enough
10 believe that they the foremost nation on the ear
and they don't take kindly to chatting at all once
overheard an American and an Englishman discussing
the comparative merits of American and English taiors
The American told the Engshman that his clothes nted
him like a shirt a beanpole. And in fact they dd
look something like that But the Englishman was so
impervous to joke that he considered himself lnsutea
and there would have been row If somebody hadn't
Because you an american don't scatter tips o
tips Do likewise Don't be afraid to travel second or
s or Americans slass ravs Don't purchase
stuff on the supposton that every thng you Ee1 III
make comparisons when you get back you'll be surprised
to find how little difference there Is In the price OF many
things here and abroad. ,,,,
sIhis above all-don't be a slave to any guide,book
You are an American Dare TO assert your independence
40 where YOU want TO go. Don't go where you don't
want to go Don't try TO admire what you don admire
no matter how strongly the guide book temPs you no
matter how much cultured people may hold up their
hands in pous horror your lack Of taste Don't go TO
don't try work enthusiasm for the works OF the ola
masters IL you don't care for that sort OF art aon
for one, and know nine people out OF ten would nd
moro to interest them any day In carcature In c6 or
Judge than In the masterpiece OF some painter OF sanity
madonnas who died hundred two hundred years ago
II you want 10 enjoy trip abroad don't he hoggish
don't try how much you can see try how much you can
avoid seeing This endless sight seeing IL all humbug
there 10 neither pleasure profit IN It, Learn how 10
loaf and invite your soul larry In pleasant places
about what you miss Don't go to ambitions, or Il you