Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-02-20
VANILLA JONES.
SOME MORE IDEAS IN REGARD To TEXAS
AND THE TEXANS CORRECTED.
The Tender Foot Need not Come Around Except With
His Responsibility and a Little Liquid
NOurishmsnt.

DEAR REGIsTER-'trcm Texas eh?
purity rough in Texas Amt it?' This IS
the remark made by an intelligent gentle
when 1 informed him that l was from
Texas. | cannot understand why it is
that Texas il SO little understood and so
much misreprG sented. | have told several
people about Texas and yet it seems that
they misunderstood the State. Texas is
like any other state, only more so in point
of actual bona fide state. 1t is larger and
healthy and a man can build his chicken
COOP on his Onw farm and wake up in the
morning and find mis- hens on his own
property instead Of heing in an adjacent
state as in the ease in Rhode Island. Texas
il big in every respect. 1t is a big state,
and the male inhabitants are biz hearted,
and | notice too, the ladies hustle about
rs great and lively rs ladies any where
else; everything is business, hustle and
enterprise.
II you ever come 70 Texas don't come
under a misrepresentation and an indict-
ment. for you will find Texas about AS
civilized aud active in point Of justice rs
any where else. Don't come armed, at
least not with fire arms, Just come loaded
with your respectability and a lite liquid
nourishment and YOU will get along all
right. When YOU think OF a Texan, .yau
see in your minds eye, a man armed with
the most approved implements of war, 4
white hat, and a lerocious CLEAN in his
wicked eye. Don't think this gentle
reader, but come down and look around
some. Leave your buster and straw hat at
home and come in Il Civalized manner.
Actually Il man got OFF the train about two
weeks ago ut Dallas with linen pants and
straw hat on, looking yainly for summer
weather. He amused himself all day by
hugging Il store and drinking tom and
Jerry. " 4 stranger usually steps cautiously
off the capand n~erviouSly inquiries: much
shooting about here now" 1t certainly
is amusing. Now when | reached Texas
/ will confess that my hair commenced to
erect i the most stylish p%ompadour style,
but | am us brave as u lion now. A
hotel porter assaulted my handsome grip
sack and said ''hOtei?' | mceEiy answered
yes, [ rot il. At dinner | looked up from
my soup with timid eyes to see the guests
with long hair, helted waists, and large
spurs, with goTe in their eyes, they were
not in. | listened lor proiane OathS, hut
they came not. After dinner | cnquired
if this was Texas, AMI | was informed il
was, aud the person intcTrogatCd made no
effort on my lite. | took hope. | wept
bitter tears when | thought that Texas as
the old gold hacked and wicked novels
painted it, did not exist. No numbering
or lightning having occurred my love for
excitement and bravery returned. |
rare steak and played Il game OF
checkers with an old maid. Ii Texas was
not reckless | was. One day my love for
excitement returned: | heard a fellow call
another 4 liar with u very emphatic l.. !
stepped behind u lamp post Just i'll time to
hear the remark in reply ,-"Bill yOu
outent Ia say that, you're of, let's 80 in
and have SOmrthin'.' | waited III my
desperation, Bill went. Texas where art
thou? Where are your cutters and shooters
and holy lerr0rs: / found them not. They
must have emigrated tUS0mc wilder region,
perhaps to Chicago. | went To church and
thelpreachcr wore solemn coffin like clothes,
had a blue nose aud no weapons that |
could see and Us usual they passed the
hat. | was then assured once aud forever
that Texas has been and is 4 Slandared