The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1887-02-17
HOW HE GOT EVEN.
A Dudes Brilliant Idea and the Trouble II
Caused.


A Dudes Brilliant Idea and the Trouble II
Caused.
1t would never do for the West Side
to lag behind the South Side in the
march of progress. As the South Side
street-cars have been heated this win
ter the West Side Company has kept
up with the procession, and, if any.
thing, has excelled its rival in the beau
tiful simplicity of its heating apparatus
The apparatus in question consists OF
two parts-a handsome brass latch,
which keeps the front door of the car
locked, and rule which forbids the
lifting of the latch. The rule is most
excellent rule and entirely orthodox in
that it works both ways-and thereby
hangs tale.
During the bitter cold weather a day
or two ago little dude whose overcoat
consisted principally of fur collar, and
whose legs were so slim that Jack
Frost passed them by in disgust, step
ped languidly on the front platform,
and grasping the handle pushed feebly
at the door The conductor happened
to be collecting fare close to the door,
and, seeing the situation, laughed in
the little fellows face.
Let me in!' said the dude, with
great dignity.
Nav" replied the conductor, with
a grin and chuckle. You'll have to
come around to the back door.
s:Open the door," exclaimed he on
the outside, rafting the handle.
Cant do it, my dear. It's back
door or nothing with you, Dickey,'' re-
piled he on the inside, showing Il bad
quarter and three dilapidated nickels
into a passengers hand and ringing
his little gong by way of emphasis.
The dude unbent enough to almost
lose his temper, for it was cold outside
and the passengers were hugely amused
at his predicament; but all of a sudden
Il thought seemed to strike him. 1t
nearly knocked him off into the street,
but he managed to rally, and in a mo-
ment more all that appeared Of him
was coat collar and pair of legs
leaning contentedly against the door.
| About this time the conductor pushed
back the slide in the door and poked
| the dude in the back. The little fellow
turned around and looked blankly and
| innocently into the conductors face.
'sFarer' said the conductor, sticking
a grimy paw through the aperture.
The dude smiled in wearied sort OF
way and disappeared in his coat col.
lar.
..Fare. there" repeated the conduc.
tor, rattling the slide.
| you'll have to come wound to the
l-ah-fwont platfohm, doncheknow
deah chappie," replied the dude, emerg
ing for few seconds and disappearing
again before the words We're well ou
of his mouth.
The conductor was six feet tall an(
had a whole bearskin on. He looked
as though he could crawl into hol,
and die. The passengers nearly wen
into commissions. The dude was buried
in his collar and apparently far away
in his thoughts.
Once more the big man in the bear
skin yelled ''Farer' and stuck out /
threatening hand.
''Deah boy, it's fwont platfohm av
nothing was the response from tn,
| Illstn Ill Tie COlldI
Then the conductor retreated to th'
back door, and his eyes bulged out
foot in his eagerness to catch sight o
policeman. He called the first on,
on to the car and told him to go aheat
and pulverize the fur collar and TIN
legs. The conductor stopped the car
and the majesty of the law walked stern
" around to the front door But tn
collar and legs seemed to have no fcal
and didn't pulverize worth Il cent
They expressed feverish anxiety t,
pay the fare and held up nickel 81
that the conductor could see it through
the door. But put it through the slid
they would not, and they coolly in
formed the majesty of the law that al
the policemen in Chicago couldn'
make them do it. Then the passenger
laughed at the policeman, and the pc
liceman suddenly discovered that h
had urgent business somewhere els
and slid off at the first corner. The
the conductor ran around to the from
door. The passengers supposed Ii
was going to eat up the little man
The conductor had sort of an idea t
| that effect himself. But the dude didn't
He came out of his coat collar, straight
| ened up, and fixed very bright an
rather wicked eye upon the conductor
!, while one hand came up in a careles
sort of fashion about breast high. The
f the conductor extended an open hand
f and the dude dropped into it nicke
unfixed his eye, and disappeared in hi
coat collar. Chicago Tribune.