The Bossier banner., 1887-08-11
MISCELLANEOUS.

The sleepiest man will wake up II
you say ball game in his ear.
The best place to see the average
museum freak is in the picture in the
advertisement. 1t there excels itself in
monstrosity. = Germantown I'adepe'sd-
east
Girls are so scarce in Dakota that
when new girls enters the territory
all the brass bands turn out en- masse
and serenade her with ''Sweet Violets."
-Misantbropic Exchange.
A Chicago man bought a $3.50 in
cubator, put $25 worth of eggs in it,
and Matched out bluebottle fly. He
now brags of having the only 5000 blue
bottle fly in the country.-Cisciasati
Times.
First Low Comedy-'I like this
road much better than the B. & O.,
Claudius." Tragedy-''Why so, Hora-
tio?" First Low Comedy-"All the
ties are planed on the upper side!'-
! Puck.
why don't you mend your
clothesP" asked a gentleman of very
weather-beaten tramp. ''Cos." was
the reply, "Pve got it from the Scripter
that it don't pay to sew tears. ."-Wash-
sngton Critic.
The annual product of butter in the
State of Vermont is stated at 27, ,000.0 900
pounds; of maple sugar at 100000
pounds; of wool at 100000 pounds,
and of hay at 100000 tons.-Farns,
Field and Stocknaan.
Good buttermilk made from sweet
cream and taken fresh is form of food
found serviceable in cases of diabetes.
A diet of pure buckwheat flour cakes
has also proved advantageous in gly-
cosuria ia-Iedianapolis Journal.
"A man in the western part of Ne
braska. who has been bound up in
wedlock only five months, has ap-
piled for divorce upon the singular
charge that his wife will not trim her
toenails, which he AYERS are of mon
strous size.-Detroa Free Press.
The way they talk out West.-First
Speaker-''Let me see, Uncle Billy,
you're the oldest inhabitant in Yeast
vile, amt YEP" Second ditto-"Me
the oldest inhabitantp o, no. What
put that idea in your head? There's
old Ferguson who's been here five or
six months longer than me.''
"A Dubuque grocer named Scott
offered to let woman named Taylor
| strike him with a Goldfish for twenty
five cents. It was all joke, you know.
but she paid the money. gave the cod
fish whirl or two, and when it hit
grocer Scott it broke his jaw and tore
off part of his ear.
In entering horse car it is not re-
allied by everybody that to occupy the
rear end of the Car while thereis plenty
of room ahead is needless injury to
the horses. When the weight behind is
greater than that in the front of the car
it makes drawing the load much harder
for the horses.
Growing Too Fast.-A man with a
large family was complaining of the
difficulty of supporting all of them.
''But," said a friend, "you have sons
big enough to earn something for you
now. "The difficulty is they are too
big to work., was the disconsolate
fathers reply.-N. y Ledger.
Some Mexicans were caught rob-
bing freight car on siding of the
Mexican Central few days ago, and
the station agent telegraphed to head
quarters as to how to proceed. The re-
ply was-"Prosecute vigorously" He
replied to this with, "Can't do it in this
case, as they have been executed. but
will do so in the next.''-WaU Street
Neaos.
AT a grand dinner very needless
gentleman, who talked great deal,
forgot that his neighbor, young lady,
was unusually tall, and exclaimed II
do not like big women!" The lady bit
her lip; and the speaker, seeing he had
made blunder, and trying to repair it
as gallantly as possible, added: when
they are young, madam!''- Haren
NeUs.
| Veal Scollops: Chop any refuse
pieces of veal very fine. put layer on
the bottom of a deep, buttered baking
dish. Season with salt and pepper.
Cover with layer of powdered
crackers aud bits of butter Proceed
until the dish is full. Spread over the
top thick layer of crackers pounded,
butter, two beaten eggs, and teacup
of cream. Bake slowly.-Louisuille
Courier Journal
! Minneapolis thinks that it has the
fastest typesetter in the country. His
name is Min and he came from Sioux
/ City. He is known as the Missouri
River Rusher," but his experience, un-
til very recently, was confined wholly
to country newspapers. He was put
on case and worked seven successive
nights, pasting up string of 101, 200
ems. This is an average of 14,42S ems
per night. The work was on straight
matter. He can set 2. 900 ems per hour