The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-06-08
PlTH AND POINT.

The author who wrote There is
beauty in extreme old age" probably
never tackled an over-nursed egg
Chicago Merchant Traueler
There are very few brass bands in
military parade that can play as
many airs as the drum-major puts on.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
True happiness, my son, consists
in finding that you have paid S. for an
article exactly like that for which your
friend had to pay three and quarter
the day before.
1t is but step from the sublime to
the ridiculous; and the Sunday night
young man is apt to take it when her
father comes in impetuously at half
past eleven o clock. Journal Of Educa.
ton.
-Smith-"That cough will get you
into trouble if you don't get rid of il"
Jones = "How SOP" Smith -"You
bark so much the police will arrest
you for not having a dog license. -
Texas Sytings.
-Disgruntled people should hesitate
before they 60 in with club to hit the
editor. The man who is all the time,
putting heads on copy may possibly
have learned how to put head on an
unwelcome visitor. Sonaervitle Jour.
nal,
First Saleswoman-"Of all the ar
rogant disagreeable people ever
waited on that woman is the worst.
wonder who she isp'' Second Sales
woman--'Why, that's Mrs. Chip.
She used to tend at the same counter
with me before she was married. -
It'd BITS
Old Lawyer Ito young partner)-
"Did you draw up old Noneybags'
willP" Young Partner-"Yes, sir, and
SO tight that all the relatives in tho
world can not find flaw in it," Old
Lawyer with some disgust)-"The
next time there is will to be drawn
I'll do it myself. '-Providence Tele-
gram.
-Cara-.'Can it be, Dolly, that you
are to marry Mr.. Smith, after saying to
me so repeatedly that you could not
endure himp' Dolly-"The truth is,
Clara dear, that until heard that his
aunt had died, leaving him fortune.
was deceived in my own feelings to-
ward him. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Omaha Dame-'Of all things! Mr..
Blank, the dry goods man. has bought
| that beautiful house across the way"
Omaha Mantle can well afford to.
He is worth millions "Why, who
left it to himp'' Nobody. He made
it in his business" II don't see how.
He's always selling goods below cost. !"
Omaha World.
Omaha Druggist-"That was
strange blunder in Washington, wasn't
itP'' Kansas Druggist-"I didn't hear
of it, you didn't Why, a promi-
nent druggist there killed himself by
taking drink of aconite in mistake
for whisky well. he ought to have
known better than to keep drugs in
his stock. - Omaha World.
| 1t Wasn't Her Fault
Daughter, why don't you get married.
Don't get beyond your day,
And grow old and thin, with a pointed chin
While the sun is out make hay.
Why. pa, I'm perfectly willing;
But what Is o girl to do?
How was it when you got married.
Did ma pop the question to youi
Boston RecorA
/ "A New Haven jeweler has brought
suit for SIC, 900 damages against local
paper for charging him with using bad
grammar. If he wins his case, we
may expect to hear of all the amateur
poets and other newspaper writer's,
who have their contributions rejected
because of loose grammar aud bad
spelling, bringing suit against editors
for $4,000 damages. If the edito,
has large circulation, it would be
cheaper to pay the $40, 600 than to in
sert some Of the articles sent hin fol