St. Landry democrat., 1887-08-13
AMPHION'S ANTICS.
Some Hitherto Unknown Details in tho
Life of an Early Lyre-Twanger.

Some Hitherto Unknown Details in the
Life of an Early Lyre-Twanger.
Little children, l have chosen VIM. Am
phion, Mus. Doc, as the subject of our
NEUROLOGICAL lesson of to-day.
Mus Doc" is a modern photographed
combination. 1t had not been invented
when Mr.. Amphion was IN the business, or
he would certainly have secured one silver
mounted.
have no hesitancy, therefore, in placing
Mus. Doc. after his name.
1t means Musical Doctor.
The way most of the individuals who sport
this tail to their every day names really do
doctor music is proof conclusive that it IS
highly proper for them to be so branded,
that the public may be on its guard against
them.
But to return to Amphion, who all this
time has been sitting ON the fence patiently
awaiting our pleasure.
Amphion and his brother, Zethus, were
twin sons of Mr. Zeus and Mrs. Antiope.
The former was prominent Mormon who
devoted great deal more time to finding
rev wives than to supporting his children
"'rsn"Ue''' Y, ""r tntione had to take in
washing to make both ends meet, and even
then one end would be rye bread half the
time.
Zeus was also prominently identified with
the Greek divinity business, in which ca
pacity he frequently made use of his alias,
Jupiter.
- Aeus posltiN yr Used to contribute to
The support of -...4ope's children, their
mother left them on mountain to die
She determined, as they could not live
long, that they should live high while they
were starving to death.
They did not die however; at least, not
then. Some shepherds found them, and in
stead of rushing them off to an orphan asy-
lum, took them home, and as soon as they
grew large enough made them earn their
board by doing odd jobs around the house
One day wandering musician named
Apollo stopped all night with the shepherds.
This gentleman, seeing that Amphlons nat
ural depravity ran in the same channel as
his own, gave him Tyre for birthday
present.
The shepherds had brought the boys upin
ignorance ofthefacts that they belonged to
one of the first families, and that their father
was the most enterprising blgamlst IN the
, country.
1t is not surprising, therefore, that the
boys failed to recognize Antlope when she
one Qay attendeQ picnic III tue HelSuDoI-
no cd of their humble abode
Another female, whose name was Mrs.
Dirce, also attended this picnic.
Between these two women great deal OF
jealousy existed, and frequent remarks were
made by each about ''the fright of bonnet
the other was accustomed to wear.
Mrs. Antiope having seen family resem-
blance between the two boys and her erst-
while husband, had begun to ask them
questions relating to their parentage, when
Mrs. Drce came along and playfully sug-
gested that the boys tie Mrs. Antiope to the
tail of wild bull, which was loafing in the
vicinity, and have some fun
The boys, ever willing to obhge a lady,
were about to do so, when the shepherds
stopped the game by explaining the relation
ship.
They then desisted but as slight appreci-
alton of the practical joke which Mrs Dirce
played upon Mrs. A, they tied the former to
the bulls tail.
The animal entering heartily into the
spirit of the OCCASION pranced Oft in high
glee. When the heat closed Mrs. Dirce was
cold, clammy corpse, and had lost most of
her false hair.
1t seems cowardly thing to tie woman
to bull 5 tail, but there were no societies for
the prevention of cruelty to animals in those
days.
After Amphion became master of his
instrument he besieged Thebes.
lie captured the Guy ny playing upon Ills
lyre without cessation, until the inhabitants
in frenzy of despair took to the woods and
never returned.
Amphion then proceeded to fortify the
town, using new process on which he had
just received patent, namely, by the power
of his Tyre.
He had heard that liars will sometimes
move Heaven and earth to accomplish their
object, and he concluded that it was mighty
poor specimen which could not move few
stones for fertilization purposes.
So he worked his Tyre for all it was worth,
if l may be allowed the expression, and the
heavy stones moved promptly to their
places knowing that the quicker they got
there the quicker the music would cease.
Amphions relatives thought he was doing
wonders when he attracted stones by his mu-
sic, but he was never SO successful in that line
as Patti has been since. She can attract
..rocks' to the value of 5000 night.
There have also been musicians in this
country who have attracted not only stones,
but archaic cabbages discouraged eggs and
other tributes of regard by their playing, and
they have never boosted about it either.
WIN. HI. SIvITER.