Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1887-12-01
MIR. AND MRS. BowsER.
rhe Old Man Decides to Become as
Orator.

The Old Mar Decides 10 Become an
Orator.
From the Detroit Free Press.
Ihope the public has not conceived
the idea that Mr.. Rrowser and ! ara
constantly ~quarrelina, or that he IS q
failure as q husband. No family Is
happier than ours. and Mr. Brosser
is one OF the best husbands in the
world. He is simply a little bit
queer. That is, we haven't been mar
ried quite long enough Tor me to tone
him down. Like many other young
husbands, be wears a much larger hat
o than he will a couple of years
hence, but this is a fault rather than
an evil. The other evening he came
home in a state of excitement, prome-
naded around the house with his nose
il the air for a while, and then in
quired:
sDid those books come up. Mrs.
Browserf"
'There was a package came up.
Have you been getting another batch
OF useless books"
"All books are useless to sons peoz
pie, Mrs. Bowserl lfyou were like soma
wives / know OF you'd encourage your
husband instead OF insulting him."
"Well / shall be glad to have You
read every evening. History or poll
tics?"
Neither. They are works on ORA
tary."
"Whas?" &
! "Mrs. Bowser, / have been advised
by my many friends to take a few les
sons in elocution and delivery, and to
then accept some of the numerous in
vitations rendered me to address this
or that society or organization"
"Richard Moses Bowsar, you cam
be in earnest"
"That's it! Yell out at the ton of
your voice and tell everybody in De
troit that my name is Richard Mosesk
Maybe it sounds better than major.
Why shouldn't l pluck the laurels
from the field of oratoryf If sons
people are satisfied to grovel in the
dust they needn'tt try to prevent other
from soaring to the Clouds"
But you have no presence-no
voice"
81 haven't, eh? l was pressnk
enough, and made myself pretty ven
understood when ! asked your hand
in MARRIAGE You don't know NE
Mrs. Bowser. See herel"
And he drew himself up to his fuI{
height, which is a trife over five .se
swelled his stomach out, and as
lifted himself up on his toes, be walvs<
his arm and began: 20
Gentlemen may cry peace, peao1
but there Is no peace. The next eaz
which sweeps from the north will brin
us the clash of arms"
ayes, Mr.. Bowser, but your voice
squeaky, and you are very,very shor<
Please give it up. | should feel avn
ly bad if you made a failure"
"Squeaky voice! Very, very shor<
Make q failurel Mrs. Bowser, I'd
want to choke me of. but you can
do it! You will yet be deafened by Il
plan Tits of the multitude who che
my oratory."
He had five or six books ofspeea6s
dialogues and lessons in preparatot|
greatness, and as soon as supper Nd
over he locked himself in the libra[
and began. He was still going whe3
went to bed, and at midnight IH
awakened to see him before the gIa
on the dresser, and 70 hear him Sd
ing:
81 tell you, gentlemen. that the
warks OF American liberty are tote
ing to their foundations. A few nd
such acts as these and-a few mor{ 5
a few more-a few more such acts
"a"
IF you wake up the baby he ID
have cramps" ] said.
Mr.. Bowser was so indignant CD
he would not utter a word IN re1
nor did he address me till after din
next day. He continued his labor
q week or ten days. ranging "a
bursts OF oratory from The Do
Child" to IAN Appeal for Libere1
Then, from what | could overhex
made up my mind that he was
pairing an address for a special "a
sion. He couldn't keepthenews ton
self, but soon informed methat he
soon to address the Young Mems
erty club.
"Mr. Bowser, please give it urs
you should make a failure OF it
would feel far"
make a failure of it, Mrs. Boz
you don't know me! Just atten1
painting your old pottery and Dc
ming on that piano, and | will
care OF myself"
l pity the poor mar when
back " those days. He wrote
rewrote. Think he prepared as r
as six or seven addresses before he
n to suit. and be spent at
fourteen hours per day trying to
nit it to memory. He looked
me as his enemy, and refused 70
any further conversation On the
iect until the day of the evenln<
was to speak. Then, being appare
very nervous, he remarked;
do you think my voice ha1
proved"
81 hope it has"
There you 60? Do your very
to discourage mel
"Mr. Bowser, can't | prevail
y W. w NhAS 81
address tonight"
'tNever, If / can succeed wltz
wife seeking to drag me down th7 g
or will be all the greater
AT midnight they brought Mr.
ser home in a hack. He 3
Gus chill. He went upon The
form to deliver his address, a1
gan:
"FELLow CTTIzENs:-Let me
you that l highly appreciate the
honor paid me by this club N
ing-in choosing-in picking me
deliver-deliver-n picking nle
in-in-"
That was as far as he got; on {
yelled out, go it, Shortly" an9
ers told him to take his nose q
a brick on ms tongue, etc, and Pc
right down. The papers next
ing charitably refrained fros
mentioning his name. | was
to see if anything was said VIZ
Browser came down to break
smiled at him kindly, but be
one fist at the baby and the q
me and hoarsly replied.
"It's all right-all right. bur
you off il / have TO wade IN eor
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