davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
Sad Case of Absent Mihuedhess.

"The worst case Of absent mindedness I
ever knsiv of" said hotel keeper out nt FL
gin, "ocGtirrel in my house d few weeks ngo.
The pcr,etrator was my night porter. l was
at the desk one night when r man came i'll so
drunk Ne ctiislut sign his name: He wns
travelling man whom knew, and SO of course
decided to take good care of him. john
says to the porter, take this man up stairs
a,r} put him to bed md put his valise away
in the check room Just then I wns called
away by the sickness of Il member IN my
family, and l thought no more Of tiiy guest
nor Of the porter; whom | saw. atttiiiins to
his usual duties an hour III So luter
But the next morning a strange discovery
was made. The rhamlernaid 6ii the second
a-br reported that in the bod of room six
teet She had found n vnlise, and that there
We're no signs of any person taving ocrnpicd
the room during tie iaght. It flashed over
mo in second that that porter OF mi,c, who
was a queer st1tt Of a fellow; Ind made SONIC
bIunder, and went up stairs to lGvrstigatrf
There was the vase; sure cnot'gh, hut no
sign of the traveller: hunted all over, tltc
house for him without success, dhi had about
given t,r' III despair when happened to go.
into Tic check room for something, and there
lay my travelling man asleep on the floor,
with vnlise check number siyty-tl.ro caro-
folly tie'l arotlnd his neck. ."aC Chicago Herald;
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
After Twenty Years of Waiting,

Not long since an English friend Of mine
said TO me. "W bile thinls Of it, I would like
to know if you can tell me what this means"
and he related joke that Artcmtis Ward
ucd to telk Iexplainea the focalismt and he
laughed st is more than score Of years
since heard Artemus tell THAT ut the Egypt
ian hall, and never could find any ono who
could explain what it meant before" There's
storage Of force" for you! Think of a man
remembering joke for Twenty years Or more
and then laughing at it--Luko Sharp i'll De-
troit Free Press.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
Making Artificial Ruhits:

: M. Frenzy has read a paper ut the Frerictt
Academy of Sciences describing the success
ful researches made by him; With Nj vern-
ecils ussstantc, for obtaining art fetal rnbies;
Some years, ago he tiiscovererthc tirstsnleth
Of producing rubies; hut MI. the specimens
oitai,tsl were, ,s,sty; and wore dway III
scaless: lie adopted another process, ald by
letting alttmiua dissolve in fteofide Of calcium
kasebtai,,ed crystals of hl,lnina; trat is To
easg fferfect rubies; ,defyilg the closest
scrutiny, and even higher IN value than per-
feet stones: They cait be made Of large sise:-
Detroit Free Press: -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05

A teacher In an Austin Sunday school,
wishing to impress his class with the necessity
Of faith, asked the class, why did Moses lift mp
the s.rpcnt it tho wilderness. None of tl's
class answered except one. IIo said Moses
hftel it up bccatsc he knew it wouldn't bite.
It was the e;rnc youth who said the jews made
4 golden calf because they didn't have gold
enough to make the whole cow-=Tcxas
EiftinGS -.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
I.ieke.i i,ef6rS lis was Ripe,

A few, w,tlays ago d s.youthful Zulu of about
,'1e summers, ilallieI Pea Blossom. was con-
yicted of stedliltg, IN an Austin court, and
sentenced to smprisonmcnt i'll the N.',nty
Jail. "Hc is Father young to steal, I should
suppose" remarked bystander to Cnclo
Nose. "No, sab; he is not too young tosteaI.
but hos t6tcheda little earlier den do rest Oh
EN-, HIt's all"-Texas Siftings
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
A Discourse Gn food.

l have never been able to- get away frC'i n
conviction that there is something morally
wrong about shell fish, Tho perQsitrs of
sin are champagne and oysters; sometimes
oysters by themselves. But If you notice
theirs Is always h suggestion of wickcdncss in
nj oyster saloon tet thee to ii bakery
think cake is niioruous, and ted and toast
have pure religious fervor Look not upon
the wine when it is red But if it is nny other
color you can sail in with impunity. But
oysters appear to I've distinctly immoral
Shrih1bs nrc more s5-bccattSe. they nro
cheaper. Shrimps arc degraded diet, but
oysters nre high toned, way up immortality
Eatin4 Is n curiously contradictory thing
anyway.
Great heavcns What n stomach that
mnn has. III" got away with six brcfSteakS,
etc,; You II hear Somcli'thS shy.
"l'hat mans the smallest eater l ever saw.
liH ate nothing hut n bit of"-some French
riame or other--s0mclt6dy elso says.
And doctor will tell yoti that the little
bit of French cookery needs good deal tiore
powerful stomach for digestion than the six
beefstcaks. If there is o'tt thing more tljan
another III which appearances are 'lectitful; it
is in cooked things. Now; itH','ng is 'nhre
abused than pie! Yet pie is honest. You tan
SEQ it's indigestibls; 1t does not deceive you.
admire the pluck and honesty of the boarl-
ing house lon'llady In this tndtter of pie It's
yoiir own fault if you are sick nfttr eating
boarding M,ise pie-your OWL fault entirely.
There is nddeception about it: There's lady
up town who il fond of the French language.
She uscs it herself. although she Is not an
adept at it, by any means, and she sometimes
srs up
"What kind OF pie is this." asked boardcr
one day:
That is Donnie pic" SHE couldn't think
of the scc'4id Frelicll word: She knew pom
mo g,oant apple:
oh, Pu,npeii see" What curious shapes
that old lava from Vesuvi,;s did take; didn't
it,
Then he asked his neighBor to pass tho
dynamite plcasc.-Sari Frd'irsco Chronicle
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
Caution to IiUxkrs,

No ono Who is aware. that he is'slibjcct to-
any cardiac irrcgtharisy should attempt so
severe IL strain on that organ as is hoxns'
And so also he who has airy pulmonary
trouble should he very careful how he i'll!
dt,lgcs III 50 boisterous pastifnci for an un.
expected blow IN the region If the lungs will
often accelerate heirorrhascs,- which may
cause serious trouble afterwari. -Qtfttlgt
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
A CARD.
DIR HIRAM BUHRMAN,

physician and surgeon, takes pleasure in an
'nouncing to the citizens Of Mechanicstown
and vicinity that he has located here in the
practice of medicine. For the present he
may be found at his Residence, opposite the
Lutheran church
He would further add that he has come to
stay and hopes by strict and upright deport,
mont to merit the confidence and support OF
Il discerning public.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
A Trial Of lslOO,lhOun,lA.

At n recent trial of blootihountls at tfe con-
vict camp Mt Friars' Point, Miss, a Negro
under ten years sentence was released and
told that he could have his liberty if he es-
capped the dogss The convict had three hours
start, but the dogs ran the poor fellow down
before hc had gone twenty miles-Ncw York
sun,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
Slow 10 Ackn0wfetlGc. A

When tho Prince of Wales was in this
country in 1860 lie was elected an honorary
member OF she Boston Ancient and Honor
able Artillery company. He has just ac-
knowlcdge,l tho compliment by the presenta-
zion of his picture to the company. -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05

Pluto Indians in Nevada name their child
ren after white people in The expectation that
the latter will take an interest IN the little
olks, as they usually do.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05

Have formed co-partnership in the prac-
ticc of Dentistry, Office directly opposite
the Post Office, where one member Of the
firm will be found at all times. The follow
ing appointments will be promptly kept
EMMITSBURG-On Friday of each week.
UNION BRIDGE-The First and Third
Monday of each month.
WOODSBORO & WALKERSVILLE-
The Second and Fourth Monday Of each
month.
LEWISTOWN--The Tuesdays following
the Second and Fourth Monday of each
month.
WOLFSVILLE-The Third Wednesday of
each month.
ELLERTON & HARMONY-On Thurs.
day following the Third "Wednesday OF
each month
June 10, SO.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05

NJ. C.. I,a Russo, of Winnipeg, visited st.
Louis the ether day and told all about d
peculiarly mixed tribe of Indians "All along
the Red river Valley said Mr.. La RIsst; "is
to lie found ono of the most curious r5iHi-
latibns in the world. l refer TO the half
and Jiarter breeds; the descendants Of
the Scbtchmen who cdine to this country
in the 'lays of the Hudson Bay company mil
their 1ndan wives. They present iribst
pectlinr continuation of the Scotch and fiidian
types, the dark skin and high cheek l,ttltes Of
tho indian; with the light hair and blue eyes
of thG Scdtclilnan
"physically; they are n splendid racci being
little; tall and muscular, and arc the best and
most enduring runners ever saw, travelling
hundreds of miles through the woods in tho
dead of winter with incredible rapi'lltt. All
speak French but the Scotch burr Is tercep-
tible in their pronunciation, making their
language Il most remarkable one. They arc
fanltiis hunters and trappers, and when not
drunk; very peaceful. They took h6 part in
the recent uprising III the northwest; as they
have tij atlliati5n with the French half breeds
or Indians, but form little continuity by
themselves. As tbyageurs they IRE iinequulel,
and arS the liappiest beings ever saw. They
iS not Take kindly to life in villages or towns,
iiild are fast movingaway before the advance
Of civilizations; bit fear tsiut those who tako
their places will not hate their virtues
Washington Star:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
WMmM M mghmF@ %5@
SHADOW.

II may be- that the sudden shade YfF (
Was sent In loving, grateful aid: N!Y.
And meath its quiet, cool rcposey
The bud to richer beauty blows.
Nor seeks its fullncss to disclose.
Harriet Newell Lodge.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05

itbyhood Of stcphSn i: douglas. Jr.
Stephen A. Douglas Jr, is still young
maii: Nov. 5; Napolcon's natal day, he was
born in North Carolila tile family home of
his mother. He lcnly w, his father WELL.
and t-tAls with tentJ tie Giants
affection, for and W 18th his two
Son.. He also rely sit which JEFF
fers6n Davis and combs made TO Che
Douglas iesidey Washington. Tho Lit
tie t|iant wits down on the floor or his husrGs
;tnd knees; IN hts mouth was n bride; and aax
his tHck was Stephen A., Jr:; then only 4
years old: II have hated Jeir Diavis ever
Since" says Mr.. Douglas, "leca,sse no scanned
to bt disgtiste,l at finding IN. father engaged
III such horse play Young Iltagks was ed
ticated at Georgetown college; District of To-
luni,iu, where Abraham Lincoln kept ar eys
eti him. "During all the trying years of The
: war; says Mr.. Douglas, "the president was
never too busy to radss i,t his work tSra lit
tie roinp with my brother and ine: 70 a boy
II was a g3od deal to be petted by man like
Mr.. Llnctln, ana; as you may imagine,
grew up. ali enthusiastic atlirirer Of the emar>
tpator: r:"--Chicago Herald
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1887-05-05
CHANGE OF Time,
Ne Stern MARYLAND R ROAD.

sS 9ssa1ss98z .s77If7ssssg
TINO take effect Sunday March 10.
l. 1887.
TRAINS GOING EAST.
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09

t-a logan n.i lssn oue of TIE most con
s..r1ons figures in tae milt1ry eul POLITICAL
: ..- of the country for the 70 quarter
cl-1s To W. BORA near Nrrph vsboro,
r'- en r.h p l--1 fi, father had come
fr.a ireland th--o EARS before. In early
lfe ooua- John wax celebrated fer his horse
rllnshlp III eirc- .ion was picked up here
al tlere he enlisted ID the First Illinois
re~Im-nt Tor tho Mexican var az the nse Of
o. Iie received li~Gtcnant's commission
ar1 served vita credit On rs return he
studied law ari wrs adnn,t>d 70 the lar IN
1851 Ills ToAa-nl career began before this
! =. had tcen elected county clerk At the age
of & In i,'s, b. was member Of the legs
h-urc. anI iu fs1S was elected 10 conSrsss
When Sumter was fr->l upon Logan drew biz
sword for the cause - th~ Mon He eft The
Car r7l for Tie army. and entered The RANKS
OF d regiment FROM his native state. lie
fnGrhf with Grant Tor nearly thru. years.
4e rnc.nal engagements N which he took
rsr. aero Gall Run. Belmont. Fort ponelson,
Fr. Gibson. Nle.shur- and Kencsaw noun
fau eherc tc sgcootded Mcpherson as COM
uande- % ,he army of the Tennesse-. lie
Vas .rrtrelv wounded Ar Donelson.
II. rcs returned o. congress after the war
nhere E. ..sr. remained with the exception
cf r- short interval Ia l~si d. vas prs
r,.t.l q. ti. -rnale Ills subsequent career
IS usen snn in 1854 hs vas nominated hJ
s.r.amafi.n Cor ei-.. president 90 Ga kcpuo-
bean national SONS ntrn.
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09

Yesterday morning Mrs Hobart, Of IA
North p.y.s.on-si wished to build a Ere IN
her room aid decided 10 help herself She
Went into the sooishe1, se.zr! Au Ak n her
right hand and AIMED al suck Of kindling
wood which Size held with her left Her
ann was s. .ul. lgt she neglected 20 remove
her hand from lhe wood and the a. com
p'e'eiV severed her thumb at the first JOINT
she drcrued t-e ask and ran into the house
before ,h- discovered that part of her thumb
was gone. Ihen she went out, picked up
.he r.ece vs. lcb bad been ,gt oI and re
placed lt. Several ladies in the house
tainted az fhc seht Of the blood which
hoowei freely. oui Mrs Hobart Gid not lose
her oomposare. She held 'he PARTS ID place
until doctor arrived and aNed up the
memher which H. thinks viii mend and be
made e.. gD0i as ever.
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09

90. don { tbilA tha water from the
csual is much worse thtn that from Cold
fact i think {. better, be continued. a
large amount o. wa.er passes through the
ana. and there Is Good current, while
gOld0r8oS is g small stream which receives
as much or more sewage and filth than
les INFO The canal. 7 think any person
no will walk Up the creek z mile Ct two
from tie seltin. basin Will prefer TO drink
canal water tae CITY water IA all Tight-if
u IS boiled before using When il is too
thick 20 ooli. 81 should be ried."
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09
Madam Bell

~ Wysss - Hanroe-s- has reduced
prices on Photographs Cell and see fox
rrlrss .Fea
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09

Has returned fron Morley where she spent
Christmas with her daughter. VIII DO
pleased 20 see her many friends a. ~
Csnalsf.
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09


i. L,sans 1esrl on Sunday De- %
ta .l-.l.--- tha- shocked -hs
al.. raaly -on4as --a..l --s Clr.srnias
fe ese- q sls stars ahel ths
e--alr. rer. vi a-r1e assn na,,el. - I-n-
taar .l-laara.'s 5cnl frlrav I've ~
~ ..- ears oc.esc IotsIf- rhartae stroa-
earrst 7ean. oae hai zen apparently
81 -4 s..eac laa..- tal t-ea rsl'el asaf so
s.ll l.s tfo4ols Vas flelmat-sfl.
r- 10 rortr1. re- iran exposure a.
saeF.t-ra daring tne ua- lis lar attack
a.-. lowed -4loast.rm AZ wlica b = a.
caught I1ltb before hft d-at1-
The snt Was undoubtedly oastene1 o. over
~olt t4i.e on a.s trip % tae Pacific coast
o. oser-Kertes himself lls went Through 4
constant stream - ovat.ons Then. on his
return 20 rhe eass. b. pitched right INTO the
F-..t.ca. rtn.aas I'D Illinois. After the cam
Insa BE- returned - Washington completely
worn a.lt anl k-s strength never returned
HIS .as, political art on r.e floor o. the senate
rts on DE-. 6. ln rrterea.e 90 the establish
nlenl "a a permanent military encampment
Telegram-herald., 1887-01-09
Arthur Meigs & Co.'s
Palace . Grocery.
II And 70 SOUTH DITISION-ST.
VIII make their usual Christmas Display on a much
larger scale than last year.
Commencing Saturday, Dec. IL

VIII have open for inspection the elegant and extensive
OF very Fancy Groceries and Imported Table Luxures
Corrections etc. shown the Consisting part
Finest Table Raisins Fancy Christmas Boxes and Car
toons ranging IN price from 80 cents TO $500
Extra French Prunes and French Crystazed Fruits in
handsome Lithograph Boxes.
a. s. Fry Sons bristol, Eng) Chocolate Creams and
Bonbon very elaborate Boxes. great variety al new
STYLES and entirely different from last season. From % cents
$500 each.
Peer Frean Cos" Q.ondon Eng) Desert Biscuit in
handsome enameed boxeony lot ever brought to this city
These goods unlike anything here and well
worth looking at.
We will also have many and novel ideas in confec-
tons and commencing SATURDAY Dec IS and until SAT
the 25th We VIII sell Good Mixed Candy cents per
pound three pounds for 20 cents Best Handmade Creams
including Finest Chocolates, pound box, at % cents
pound box 30 cents five pound box 50 cents Beautiful
original Picture Cards given with each purchase
Win have very extensive assortment Of Oranges Lemons
Grapes Bananas, Fine Eating Apples Polished Table Nuts
etc, etc, etc.
And last but not least shall show fine line of Christ.
cgarsPure Havana and of finest quality gilt orna-
mented boxes each containing % cigars Price $500.
Everything superior, efficient gcntemanly clerks and
prompt delivery
TEL EPHONE 4S2.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
A Reliable Remedial Agent.

And, by the way, my dear, do you
know that there is absolutely nothing
that will help you to bear the little ills
of life so easily as a good laughP
There was never yet contre-temps of
merely household difficulties from
which could not extract the elixir of
fun and matchmaking. If the clothes
line breaks, if the cat drinks up the
milk or the dog elopes with the roast.
if the children fall into the ditch stimuli
taneously with the advent of clean
aprons, if the girl quits in the midst of
housekeeping and the grumpy old
cook is always scolding. if the neigh
Dor in whom you have trusted goes
back on you and the chickens of the
contiguous plantation get the start of
you on green peas and radishes, if the
chariOt-wheels of the PARKWAY friend
draw near when you are out of proven
der and the gaping of your empty
purse is like the untitled mouth of a
young robin, take courage if you have
enough sunshine in your heart to keep
laugh on your lips! Before mirth
and good nature half the cares of daily
living will go down like swallows be-
fore the wind. Try it--Ana6er, in
Chicago Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
A Rare Arizona Bird.

The .'devil-hawk'' of Arizona ia q
rare bird, and an interesting one. He
is described as having a remarkably
handsome plumage, but a very ugly
head. His talons are long and strong,
and his beak is almost as sharp as
needle and very powerful. This bird.
but for his head, when on the wing
would pass for pigeon When seek
ing his prey he plays pigeon, and flies
in among the birds unnoticed on ac-
count of his similarity, and easily cap
lures what he wants. He is the picture
of grace and beauty and speed. 1t is
estimated that there are not more than
a dozen of these hawks in the Territory.
The Mexicans are superstitious about
them. and regard the appearance of
one as an evil omen.-TrOy Times.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
"Seriously Diselected."

People are sometimes anxious to
state things very delicately. An old
colored man named Sam had been alb
sent from his native town for several
weeks, and on his return fastened to
paw his respects TO cOlored member
of the State Legislature.
81 congratulate You. Brudder Jones,
on Yer success"
II guess you air little mite too
previous
..Why, Brudder Jones, was in
formed dat you was reelected.
..Dat am a mistake; regret ter say.
on de contrary, Sam'l, Use been seri-
ously diselectedr'
To be seriously diselected' is the
fate of good many candidates.
Youths Companion.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
PUBLIC OPINION.

The evil effect of the Hayes fraud
of 1876 will not be entirely removed
for some time. 1t is no doubt that
which gives Foraker assurance enough
to aspire for the Presidency Harris
burg Patriot.
The Pension Office costs less than
under Republican control, and issues
half as many again certificates an
nually. Nearly double the former work
is now done. and it is done more
promptly Louis Republican.
1t goes without saying. that the
Republican party is doomed to over
whelming defeat if Mr.. Blaine is again
nominated; even his most enthusiastic
friends are now beginning to admit
this--M Y. Independent.
1t has taken John Sherman a
long time to get his war record in
shape for use. but it Is now fixed for
the campaign of 1888. He has letters
and other documents going to show
that he was determined to lead an Ohio
regiment to the front, and was dis
uaded only by the most pathetic APP
peals of Abraham Lincoln himself, who
insisted on his remaining at home and
running for Congress. This is very
fair excuse. President Lincoln has
been charged before this with not wish
ing to have the rebellion put down tse
Precipisatsly.-Caie0So Herald
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
CLEVELAND AND HILL.
Republican Party Lies Which Have Nc
Foundation Whatever.

Republican Party Lies which Have No
Foundation Whatever.
The desperate attempts being made
by certain Republican journals of the
country to show that there is a strong
antagonism growing up between Pres
ident Cleveland and Governor Hill as
opposing candidates for the Presiden-
cy are growing to be extremely anus
ing.
1t seems to be taken for granted by
these wiseacres that both of these
gentlemen are a couple of school-boys,
one with threatening attitude and the
other with chip on his shoulder stand
ing off ready for fight, and it never
seems to strike them that the course
which up to the present time has been
pursued both by the President and
Governor Hill is sensible and digni-
fed one. worthy of the high positions
which they both fill.
1t is an old-time partisan trick to
magnify the petty quarrels of obscure
politicians in the opposite party into a
widespread factional fight and to
charge the same upon conspicuous
leaders, and where the fury of the par
Elephants in the petty fight does not
lend arms for strife they are ready to
be supplied by mendacious representa-
tives of the opposition, SO it is not
strange to see that which is in reality
a composing of party differences in the
Democratic politics of New York con.
torted into an evidence of a wide
spread party revolt.
Let these Republican prognostica-
tors possess their souls in patience,
there isn't the slightest danger that
either President Cleveland or Cover
nor Hill will be guilty of any political
foolishness which will give the Repub-
icans even a fighting chance to carry
New York in the Presidential contest
of 1S8S.-Harris6urg (Pa.) Patriot