The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1887-07-02
s.Fare Ye Well brother Wal.
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lkins."
when the cats ore away the mice
will play" is an oft quoted maxim,
and one that is intensely true Of
newspaper men. There is another
saying in great favor at our Office,
viz: "All work and no play makes
Jack dull boy" Hence, at the in
stigation Of the ''Devil," the New
DOMINION forces held a caucus in the
sanctum sanctorum of 'ye boss edi-
tor" who has gone off out West to
grow up with the eountry--and we
are pizen glad Of it, for if ever man
needs enlargin' and broadenin' the
boss does.
In the first place, we opened up
the safe and got out the last bit Of
money it contained, which was a
half dime with q hole punched in it,
and sent the Devil" after a good
treat for the crowd. He ''set il up"
with ice water to be drunk out Of q
dirty, broken glass. After the
"Devil' and the SNAKE editor" had
imbibed two or three pateDS bucket
fulls Of this beverage, they became
beastly drunk But before things
came to this pass, the Devil read
to us his salutatory, (Which we print
in full and it was one of.the sound
est state paper West Virginia has
had for years.
The following resolutions were
proposed by the "horse editor" and
unanimously carried:
WHEREAS. The old boss, known as
the ''editor-in chief" of the New Do
MINIoN, has skedaddled with all the
valuables of the old concern and left
us to sweat and starve in an attempt
to publish his old organ;
WHEREAS, We can and do publish
a better paper than the aforesaid
ever saw; and
WHEREAS, We fear his appearance
would injure the reputation Of our
spicy paper, since he is commonly
reported as being connected with it,
be it
Reso1Ued, That we insert the fol-
lowing notice in all Of our great con-
temporary dailies:
BEwARE
We, the publishers of the Morgan
town New DOMINION, in order to pre-
serve the good opinion of our con
temporaries and our reputation from
harm, do solemnly declare that one
who terms himself "editor- in chief
of our paper, and who formerly did
hold such a position, has left us
without just cause and is spending
his and our papers substance in
riotous living in strange lands.
Hence we will not be liable for any
debts be may contract in our name,
and we warn the public generally
not to trust him on our account.
Done at Morgantown on this 10Th
day of July, 1887.
DEVIL, Pres't.
SNAKE EDITOR, Sec'y.
And be it
Resolued, Also, that we take rest
of one week, and during that time
we take tramp over this and adj
joining counties.
Resoloed, That week after next we
continue the publication Of the NEW
DOMINION, and that we will exert
ourselves still further to improve it
in all departments.
These resolutions being adopted,
after speech by the society editor"
on the etiquette of the 4th of july"
the meeting adjourned highly pleas
ed with its actions.
So, dear readers, you see we have
"got the dead wood" GA the absent
editor this time. And if you miss
our choice productions next week,
remember the joy and happiness we
are having out of this rest. Then
you will be happy in thus doing
good, for what is your loss is our
gain
So good bye for one week When
you see us again we will have
ruddy faces and stronger limbs.
Farewell.