The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1887-08-06
nILL nYE or TIE EARTH.


system which most Of my readers now re.
side upon, and which some OF them, ]
regret to say. modestly desire to own
and control, forgetting That the earth is
the Lords, and the fullness thereof.
Some men do not care who own the
earth SO long as they get their iullness.
The earth is 500, 000,0 years of age
according to Professor Proctor. but she
doesn't look it to me. The Duke of Ar.
qyll maintains that she is 10000, 600
years old last August, but what does an
ordinary duke know about these things
SO far as am concerned will pat Proc.
tors memory against that OF any low
priced duke that have ever seen.
Newton claimed that the earth would
gradually dry up and become porous, and
that water would at last become curl
osity. Many believe this and are rapid
ly preparing their systems by a rigid
course Of treatment, so that they can
live for years without the use of water
internally or externally.
Other scientists who have sat up nights
to monkey with the solar system, and
thereby shattered their solar systems,
claim that the earth is getting top heavy
at the north pole, and that one Of these
days while We are thinking Of something
else, the great weight Of accumulated ice,
| snow, and the vast accumulation Of Sec
ond-hand artic relief expeditions, will
Jerk the earth out of its present position
wirh SO much spontaniety, aud In such
an extremely forthwith manner, that
many people will be permanently stra-
bismusse1, and much bric q. brac will be
for sale at great sacrifice. This may or
may not be true. I have not beea up in
the arctic regions to investigate it's truth
or falsity, though there seems to be a
growing sentiment throughout the coun.
try in favor of my going. A great many
people during the past year have written
me and given their consent.
II | could take about twenty, good
picked men and go up there for the sum
mer, instead Of bringing back twenty
picked men, wouldn't mind the trip,
and feel that we really ought to have
a larger colony on ice in that region than
we now have.
The earth is composed of land and
water. Some Of the water has large
chunks Of ice in it. The earth revolves
around its own axle once in twenty -four
hours, though it seems to revolve faster
than that and to wobble good deal
during the holidays. Nothing tckles
the earth more than to confuse o man
when he is coming home late at night,
and then rise up suddenly and hit him in
the back with a town lot. People who
think there ia no fun or relaxation among
the heavenly bodies CERTAINLY have not
studied their habits
The earth is about half way between
Mercury and Saturn, in the matter Of
density. Mercury IS about of the spe-
cific gravity Of iron, while that Of Saturn
corresponds with that Of cork in the mat
ter Of solidty, yet it Is amply firm for
all practical purposes. A negro who fell
out OF the tower of twelve. story build
ing while trying to clean the upper Win
dow by drinking quart of slcohol, and
then breathing hard on the glass. says
that he regards the earth as perfectly
solid and safe to do business on for years
to come. He claims that those who
maintain that the earth's crust is Only
2, 500 miles in thickness, have not
thoroughly tested the matter by system
Of practical experiments.
Thr poles Of the earth are merely i'm.
aginary. hate to print this statement
in large paper in such a way US to in
jure the reputation OF great writers OF
this subject, who still cling to the theory
that the earth revolves upon large poles
and that the aurora borealis Is but thu
reflection from hot DIX at the North
Pole, but am here to tell the truth. ant
II my readers think it disagreeable Il
read the truth, what must my snguisl
be to have to tell it? The mean dia
meter Of the earth is 1915 Engiish sta
tuie miles, but the actual diameter from
pole To- pole is still meaner diamster
being 7 800 miles, while the equitoria
diameter is I, 925l miles.
The long and patient struggle Of gu
earnest and tireless gcographers AM
savants in past years in order to obtail
these figures aud have them exact, few
can fully realize. The long and thank
less Job Of measuring the diameter Of tn
earth, no matter what the weathe
might be. away from home and friends
footsore and weary. still Flooding on
fatigued but determined to know tn
mean diameter Of the earth, even il
took leg, measuring on for thousand
II weary miles. and getting farther an
farther away from home, and then fol
yettiup. perhaps. how many thousau