The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-11-23
PITH AND POINT.

A piller of the church-A pious apoth3
ecary.
"Bessie, what scratched your arm in
that way9" Mamma, I hit it with the
cat"
The clergyman may not be much OF a
carpenter, but is a pretty good Joiner. = -.
B1zGr. gS
The lightning-rod agents motto
"Spare the rod and spoil the property.
Burlington Free Press.
The thing that woman always knows
best is how some other woman ought to
drcss.-SomersiUe Journal.
A married man can always pack a
trunk more easily than bachelor. he
gets his wife to do it for him.
One doesn't care much for the aattery
of cannibal when he says: You're
good enough to eat. ."--New York Dispatch
An oatmeal trust has been organized
in Canada. Where will this Cruel tyranny
of manufacture end2"-Norpich Bulletin.
"a New Jersey man has invented e
stove to carry in the hat" Wanted ta
utilize stovepipe probably. Raoen
Neus
We do not see what it is that q clcck
is ashamed of, that it should be con.
stantly striving to cover its face witt
its hand.-LoUeU Citizen. aa
The forming of pool by the pepper
mint growers indicates that stomach
ache will be something of luxury next
year.-Pnts6urg Chronicle.
While Bostonians may feel proud OF
the provender which has made them ia
nous, they object to being called
plebeans. - Washington Hatchet
snooks-sI suppose you have wide
acquaintance in New York, Blinksf"
Blinks-"Well, yes-one that weighs
about 25O."-Burlington Free Press.
"Why can a man walk farther on ..
cold day than on q hot one2" asked In:
ouisitive Jack. Because" said the
Major, Swarm weather makes him limp
This quality in dudes one finds,
Nor does one deem it strange, +,f~
Through life they never change their minds'
-Boston Courier.
It always bothers Frenchman who is
learning English to read one day that q.
murder has been committed and the next
day that the murderer has been COM
mitted. York Tribune.
Frank James, ex-bandit, is clerking in
a sto-s in Austin, Tex. When he reaches
into his pocket for lead pencil and
shouts "Cash!" all the customers Jump
to their feet and hold up their hands,
Burdette.
Hasheesh pills are growing very popular
among the opium eaters Of Paris. very
astonishing dreams are said to result
from them, but they are probably NOT
more so than those produced by ordinary
hash.-Nep Haren Neos.
Paint is a monster Of such frightful build,
That to be hated needs but to be smeiied.
But. melled too oft, familiar to the face,
We first endure, then pity, then eaten the
painting fever and goaround all over the
premises, and daub it on every available =
place. ,..,,. p,.,.,. Il
A Boonville school teacher had great
deal of trouble making boy understand
his lesson. Finally, however, he sue
ceeQeQ, anu, uIa"lhS "nS DA'
marked: eff it wasn't for me you would.
be the biggest donkey in Boonvllle. -
Louisville Times. ~.
Smith-"You seem particularly jolly
this morning" Jones 81 ought to,
as I lust made cool $500. 0."-Smlth-
CHOW did you make it," Jones-"WEy,
I bought a lot for 50, 500 and raised the
price to $4,000. Good deal, that.
San Francisco Wasp.
He sang it with vigor,
He sang it each day,
II would not live always, ~
ask not to stay"
But when with fever
And chills taken down,
he quickly had in all
The doctors in town.
Boston Courier.