Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-03-17
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

/ MR.. AND MRS BowSER-
Mrs. Bowser Reflects Upon the Happy Days of
Her Courtship When She Looked Upon B. as
God,
| Detroit Free Press
1t makes me tired when I sit and re-
hect on the courtsbip that made me
change my name to MrH. Bowser was
full of trust and love and romance, and
L looked upon Mr.. Bowser as god One
of his favorite pastimes was to place me
where the lamplight fell upon my hair
and to address me as his golden haired
angel. Poor silly girl that I was, ]
thought it would always last! One even
ing after we had been married five or six
weeks 1 took my stand under the gas and
asked him if his angel was as dear to him
as ever.
"Humph." he growled as as he looked
me over.
But won't you praise my golden
hair?"
Golden carrots. Mrs. Bowser! If
had such mop Of carroty hair on my
head as you possess, I'd go hide it away
in a barrel.
"Then you have ceased to love me?"
Ceased nothing! I have simpl
propose to settle down to the realities
of life"
During our courtship Mr.. Bowser de-
lighted TO read to me from books of
poems, and he insisted on holding one
of my hands while he read. The second
evening we were in our own house
brought out Longfellow and sat down
beside him and took his hand.
"What are you paving around me for?
he asked looking up?"
L want my deary to read to me-"
said.
swell your deary has got something
else to do I'm reading up ON bread and
butter instead of poetry. Please keep
your paw at bome."
| You used to read such lovely poetry
to me-"
"That was because 1 was a fool!o
l went over to the other side of the
room and cried, and he let me weep away
fer straight hour by the clock before
he Observed
"Now, Mrs. Bowser, if you have got
through snivelling we'll GO down stairs
and measure that coal bin and figure up
the cubic feetr
During our courtship we used to take
long walks in the cleaning, and though
L was often so tired that could hardly
drag one leg after the other Mr.. Bowser
would insist on dragging me around. He
was always quoting something about
GLORIOUS IL uEa" ard "silver stars and
heavens arch," and one night as we sat
upon the doorstep he put his arm around
me and said he could sit there forever
and aye. 1t was hardly month after
our marriage that put on my hat one
CEad I,oI
to wander out for a while and watch the,
silent night shut down,
I'D like to see myself sloshing around
with this Internal corn on nv toe ?n he
replied.
"Mr. Bowser, there was a time when
you'd have walked all night with corn
That shows what an idiot man can
make of himself"
You once said that we'd always walk
hand-in-hand in life's cleaning"
81 don't believe it! 1 knew I was soft,
but [ don't believe was as mushy as
that"
"But you certainly did,
swell, I'll take it all back now. We've
got something else to do besides squeez
ing paws and signing about the gloam-
ing. Darn the cleaning, Mrs. Bowser!
The whole caboodle of it wouldn't buy
a peck of potatoes! It would look more
sensible for you to wander out into the
kitchen and see how many tramps the
cook Is feeding at my expense"
Two months before our marriage got
hard cold and had chills and fever It
was impossible to keep Mr.. Bowser away
from the house, and on several occasions
he hung over me and murmured:
Il pray heaven to spare your precious
- fnt -
dreary blank to me. Oh! darling try
and get WE'LL"
tried and with the help of doctor
and plenty of two grain quinine capsules
[ recovered. Two months after mar
riage got caught out in rain storm,
and in a day or two L had chills and
sore throat. When Mr.. Bowser came
home at night I was abed. He took the
matter very calmly. Standing in the
bedroom door he said:
"Well, 1 suppose the doctor has been
here and has made bill against me, and
that you have had dozen prescriptions
filled and charged?"
'I'm not very ILL.,"
ooh, MOI Just i'll enough to upset the
whole house and make me 500 expense,
and all because of your own foOlishness!"
Mr.. Bowser pray heaven to spare my
precious life!"
"Ill be hanged if I do! If you will go
gadding around in the slush and slosh
you must suffer for it!'
"Wouldn't life be a dreary blank to
you if should def"
swell, dunno. It would upset the
house and make me $500 expense, and /
suppose I'd have to wear Grape band
for year. There's no danger, however.
Any one who can store away the pork and
potatoes you can is good for seventy-fve
years yet. I'm going down to the club to-
night. I'll stop and tell your mother to
run over, thoogh it's all nonsense. All
that ails you is too much grease on your
pancakes"
Many farmers place great stress on the
power of clover to restore the fertility
of the soil. 1t does this by taking car
bon from the atmosphere and causing
elements in the soil to assume organic