The Wilmingtonian., 1887-03-19
Fugitive Humor.

Aprecocious youth, prompted by an un-
pleasant recollection of the last term, says
that school teachers are like dogs: "They lick
your hands.n This carries off the palm
Texas Siftings.
Mr.. Dusenberry quite inebriated)-My
dear, l couldn't go down that toboggan slide.
1t would take my breath. Mrs. Dusenberry
1t wouldn't be bad thing if 1t did.-Phil-
adelphia Call.
When fire alarm is rung in Rome Hths
firemen draw an engine to the fire, while
grooms lead the horses behind the engine"
No wonder Nero had plenty of time to fiddle.
Waterbury American.
George Alfred Townsend admits that he
doesn't know everything" Thus is shattered
another popular belief. Are all of our deepest
seated convictions nothing more than popular
fallaciesa-Chicago Times
A woman at Wolf Pit N. c., who got an
cry with her husband, threw poker at him
and hit the baby. And this in q section where
the women can practice at hens all winter-
Burlington tVt) Free Press -.-.
The funeral OF New York alderman, the
other day, cost the city 81, ,04S25 But New
York's experience with her aldermen has
shown her that it is far cheaper to bury them,
even at that price, than to keep em alive
Chicago Times.
Dennis was the pride Of his corps,
He very fine uniform worp#,
He could play at bezlque,
And with infinite chique
At the canteen would run up scorps,
New York Journal
Talmage said in his lecture the other night
that "the man who can sing and won't sing
should be sent to Sing Sing" That would be
too severe, 1t is the man who can't sing and
will sing who should be sent to Sing Sing.
p. S.-For ninety-nine years.--Norristown
Herald.
~ b'long to an Improved Order of Red
Men, and I'm going to paint this town a
crimson hue before get through, you betl"
remarked hilarious individual to a blus
coated guardian Of the night in the vicinity
Of Boylston market the other day. "All
right replied the man with the billy. II be-
long to the locust club;' you come along
with me and I'll propose you for member.
ship" After little persuasion u the red
man was escorted to the lodge in La Grange
street. Boston Budget
:. :. :
docs everything happen Ivr vnv ssspsr
Don't know. If get a chance to try those
things that don't happen I'll find out. st.
Louis Critic.
A young man in Covelo recently thrashed
a Clergyman because the church would not
receive his mother as member.-San Fran
CISCO Chronicle.
Rev. Robert Hall, when asked how many
sermons a preacher could prepare in weck,
replied "If he is man Of pre-eminent abil-
ity. one; if he is a man ordinary ability, two;
II he is MI ass, six
"Now, darling, kiss my eyelids DOWN." said
the poet who wrote "Going to Sleep" II she
were anything of darling, and wanted
money that was in his vest pocket, she would
not kiss bis eyelids up.-New Orleans Plea.
yune,
She was decorating Der room with piet-
ures, and she perched her husbands photo on
the topmost nail. Then she sat down to ad-
mire her work, and remarked quietly: snow
everything is lovely, and the goose hangs
high.-New York Sunday Mercury.
Mr. Fourstar's little girl was there. must
tell you of one of her odd little sayings.
Her father has small round bald spot on
the top of his head and kissing him at bed
time she remarked, "Stoop down, papsy
dear, l want to kiss the place where the lin
ing shows. "--rnndm TrutA