Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-07-23
Plrn AND POINT.

dOOp-SprlngS oteruAl III sno """
hustle. Cleveland San.
Will somebody please sit on the Their
mometer and hold the mercury down!
albany argus.
The Anti-Poverty Society is closely
allied to the Help Yourself Association.
philadelphia Inquirer.
T; Woman has tender heart. but very
often she prefers to hire some one else
to tend her baby.-SomerUitte Journal.
The captain of the Moscow (Russia)
Bicycling Club is named Kominof. but
of course he has got over that now.
NeD Haven NeWs.
Man is not apt TO fall down and wor-
ship the golden calf unless he has
some hope of being the golden calf's
owner.--N'eW Orleans PicayaIue.
Miss Catharine Heathorne, known as
''the maid of Kent has just celebrat-
ed her 1O3d rthday. The maid OF
Kent seems to be made of iron. - Boston
Transcript.
Solomon's advice to the sluggard to
her ways, is seldom taken. The
long as there is anything to hang up
tJpf tfGy|tCtk CHtOhs
When {, New York man buys brass
bricks for $4,000 each. upon the
theory that they are gold, we object to
putting him on the wires as ian old
Californian. San Francisco Alta.
The man who is too busy to be
gentleman during his active business
life, generally finds it impossible to be
ono when he retires from trade.--Ar-
kamsav Traveller.
Science says that man is 80 per cent
water. This can hardly mean Ken
tuckians and Milwaukeans. There is
too much beer consumed in Milwaukee
and too much whisky in Kentucky 10
leave any show for water.--Pech'S Sun.
At the beginning of every dramatic
season, the newspapers say that tho
minstrel show is dead. Yes, the min.
strel show is dead, but the people never
grow tired of sitting up with the
orpse.--Arkansaw 1rauelcr.
A large number of bottle-fllers hav"
strusk in Chicago. 1t is not stated tina
they will try to boycott their employers
by inducing the bottle-emptiers to Lei
up for season.--Detroit Free Press.
The painter who fell from ladder
went down with colors tlying.-1eras
Sytings.
Somebody claims to have discovered
a substance which is 900 times as
sweet as sugar." The substance" is
supposed to be about sixteen years old.
and wears a bustle.-NorristoUn Her.
aid.
The new glass works IN Birmingham
are probably called into life by the ex-
fra nd fN,. hoffInO ,v, oh ;1v,
towns.-L0uisUille COatries4JonrMal
Pending settlement of the hod-car.
fiers' strike, access into the best fam
lilies will be conducted on less extern
sive scale.-Ihtiadelphia Times.
Writing letter is, to many people,
an irksome task but it isn't half so irk-
some as it is to hear IL lawyer reading
your letter aloud five years afterward
In open court.-Journal of Education.
A St. Paul paper persists in offering
its readers "Stray Sunbeams." No
body has any for stray sunbeams
these days. Some stray chunks of ice
would be more acceptable just now
minneapolis Journal.
There is a rnan in Copiah County,
Miss. who is known to have killed
twenty-seven linen. Here is a chance
for some philanthropic journalist to
receive subscriptions with which to
purchase him a medal Chicago Nail.
Scarecrows are much needed in the
Sandwich Islands, and Harlem people
are considering the propriety of offer
ing to send a consignment of street
corner. skating rink Washers without
brains.-AesO York Morning Journal
Gentleman in drug store-..That is a
very spruce young man. who just went
out" Druggist-"Yes, he chews more
gum than any two girls in town--Bur-
lington Free Press.
A writer, named Kane, processes to
have discovered that Washington Irv-
ing, and not John Howard Payne,
wrote "Home. Sweet Home" This
gentleman wishes to raise Kane with
our literary traditions. Francisco
.Aita.
''What causes all this drunkeness?"
asks q prohibition journal. 1t is safe
to wager that whisky and other intoxi-
eating beverages cause the most of it.
A prohibition editor should have
known that much. -N0rristouu Herald
Nn WAC q Sfraaf Tor Coudx,n%ox