The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-12
BRIGHT BITS.

Or ALL the pictures that hang on memory's
wall, that on the back of a borrowed S5-green-
back is most rare--Ne,o Orleans Picdyune.
MEN who wait for luck to make them rich are
generally compelled to leave the settling of their
funeral expenses TO their relatives. Baltimore
american.
THE BRAIN of an elephant is somewhat larger
than that of a man, but the trunk of an ele-
plant IS considerably smaller than that of
wonlan.-LotceH Courier.
A STRUGGLING EDITOR in Carroll, Ia, has tum-
bled on to a fortune of SIP 500 by the demise of
relative in Germany. Such kindly remem-
brance mitigateS the stings of death.-OB1Ohd
Bee.
SMITH-Why are you always so silent in the
society of young lady, Brown!
Brown-Because it is not good form for two
to talk at the same time.-Biaghonlton Repub
Hcdn.
A FAMILY named Cleve in Germany has hung
on to a certain government postal clerkship for
200 years. 1t is remarkable how some people
will 'cleave" to a good thing when they once
get a grip on it,-NeU York World.
THE Boston Herald calls Prince Ferdinand, of
Bulgaria, a 'cry baby" If Ferdinand does not
like the expression he can obtain satisfaction
by applying to John l.. Sullivan Westminster
Aquarium, London England.-NetC York World.
A LADY TEACHER of music in Ontario county
inserted her professional card in one of the
county newspapers. 1t was seen by an old
lover in Chicago who at once hunted her up,
explained his absence of a quarter of a century
and married her 1t pays to advertise.
Advertiser.
CHURCH was over, and as usual, a company of
women were standing about the doorway talk
ing and laughing, though probably not concern
ing the sermon. Soon young man acquainted
with the group approached, saying; Aren't
you ever going home? You are blocking up the
way like Baaams as"
You are wrong there, replied young lady
with toss of the head 1T was the angels
wi blocked he "a thp f,tcc
about it. '-BOStOn Times.
CLERGYMAN in rural parish was remem-
bered at Thanksgiving with monster turkey
one of the kind that hang at the door of the
markets Thanksgiving time. The family was
small and meal after meal that turkey ''bobbeo
up serenely." At last one day the minister's
young boy manifested a prodigioIIs. appetite
Again and again he passed his plate, until his
father and mother became alarmed and asked
him what he was eating so much for. With his
mouth full of turkey he answered: Father, |
mean you shan't have to say grace over that old
turkey again. concord (N. H. Monitor.
A DEARBORN FARMER was trying to hire some
of the numerous loafers around the Central
Market to go out to MS place and husk corn
and he finally found one who had interest enough
to ask;
What wagesy'
''I'll give you 81 per week and board"
us the corn in the barn or out in the field?'
'Out in the field, but I'll set up a tent and
stove, and lay down new Brussels carpet for
you"
DO you have pie and pudding every meal:"
"Oh, yes"
Can sleep in the parlor bedroom?"
Certainly"
ANY cider to drnk?''
Plenty of 1t. VIII you come?''
''Y es, l guess so. Say, how far is it to
church,"
Three miles, but I'll take you in the buggy. "
''No, you won't! That settles it! I've got
lame back and it hurts me to ride. I've got to
be where | can find a church by walking
couple of blocks. Might hand me l0c for con-
Stunning my valuable time "-Det-ott Free Press