The Washington critic., 1887-01-22
A WOMAN'S WIT.

say that, smart rs she might be, man
with his senses about him was smarter
STILL That she could be detected In an
instant and that whatever her purpose
was, she showed 1t 80 plainly In her
face that no one could be deceived for
moment. And that as she could 60
nowhere without attracting attention,
and needed male protector whenever
she did anything out of the common
way, such as taking journey, or go.
ing out after dark, as she never knew
how TO despatch parcels or messages
quietly, and had no ideas of the hours
of railway trains, or the way to get
anywhere or do anything legally, the
nan who allowed himself TO be out.
witted by her was little less than an
idiot.
have altered my mind now. l have
been the guardian of Miss Matilda
Middlebury for twenty four hours, and
l revoke all that | have said. A
woman cannot tie up parcel, get
to an unknown part of the world, cut
anything with knife, or give Rlirec-
tion properly; but when she mt bs up
her mind to marry some one who Is
willing, old cloven. .hoof and all his
imps could not battle her. She'll have
her own way.
Miss Matilda Middlebury is young
lady of 90 years. /, as her fathers
legal adviser, know her exact age. Be.
fore last Thursday had never seen
her face to face. 1t was this wise:
There came to her, per post, letter
dated Clemence Hill. and written, as |
saw at once, by some person in a vio-
lent rage. Lines all crooked. Letters
any shape. This is what it said to me
CIEMENcE HILr, Saturday.
troubling you about matter which YOU will,
perhaps, consider a little out of your sphere.
/ should not make any apology TO the king of
water ii were drowning. This is a lifeand.
death matter to me; you must help me- Be-
sides, you are my legal adviser, and | want
you TO take the law into your own hands.
have daughter Matild9 Middlebury
You have made my will In her favor 1t is
possible that you may have to alter II yet:
but that Is neither here nor there. That
daughter l. now twenty-five years old conse.
quently, Of age and her own mistress. .Sho
has chosen to fall in love with contemptible,
eood.for-nothing rascal, whom I have foe.
hidden to speak to her again. and she Is de-
terrDincd to marry him. She tried to humbug
me, the jade, and promised to give him up;
tends to marry him on Thursday afternoon.
All preparations are made, and the trunks
packed, for a. departure to Europe: forgot
TO say that she Is visiting friend at -
street, New York.
The rascal comes there every evening, plays
the piano, sings sentimental songs, and makes
love. The other girl is in the plot, and is going
to be bridesmaid. And hero am With the
govt in my right foot, chained down at Glenn
ence Hill, without friend dare trust In tue
For heavens sake find me the girl. Take
her into custody. Arrest her. Do what you
choose Nth hor-only dont lose sight of her
what 1t costs; do It, I'm rich man. Any bill
will be considered reasonable: You have the
undying gratitude of your old friend in the
Matilda does not know anything about law,
and Is awfully afraid of It. Remember, out OF
your sight one moment and all Is over.
Thank heaven you never married. and have
j, p. MIDDIEBuRy.
Lady by the name OF Stark, wife of DR.. Stark
is the person she is visiting. j. =. NJ.
My friends, the man who would de.
seTt his fellow man under such circum.
stances, must be lower even than the
brutes. / contided the business to my
partner, telling him that affairs of i'm.
portance called me from home, and
with brush and comb, walked over to
No. - street, without any further de.
lay, and requested to see Miss Matilda
Middlebury.
In five minutes she came into the
room-a short, plump, very broad
shouldered young woman, with a
turn.up nose, big black eyes, long eye
lashes, and crisp, curly, black hair.
Her color came and went, so that one
moment her check was dappled with
red, and the next clear brunette tint.
She had white teeth aud pretty hands,
and knew by the way she looked al
me that she had spirit; but 1 knew,
also, that women arc ignorant of law,
and so thought could manager her
Miss Middlebury," said |,
Yes, sir, said she.
'Mr. Martin of Martin, Grub & Co., y
said, bowling.
II am very much pleased to see you
Mr.. Martin" said She. "I'ye heard
papa speak of you. .gu,....
MY dearest frlend-one of them a
least / said. "Your father is mar
for daughter to be proud Of, Miss
Middlebury,"
eyes" said she, Il suppose so
And what did papa tell you to say tc
mei"
My dear young LADY, said /, "dC
you know that you are seriously offend
ing your good papay'
"To be seriously offended is pa
normal condition. she replied, 80 i
don't much matter.
"You are aware that | made a vii
In your favor some time ago." | asked
"And papa threatens TO alter 1t If
show any desire 10 please myself II
anything" said Miss Matilda. II pre-
sumo he sent you here to say so. IL
has said 1t very often himself, YER
often indeed; and tell you, as | tol,
him, that money, though desirable, /
nothing when 1t stands in the way o
the strongest feelings of ones life
What is the use of mlncing matters
You know he objects to my marriage
but am Of uge; he is unreasonable
intend to do as please, You hay
my answer.
Madam" said l. my mewag
from your father Is this: You are to re
turn home, under my escort, at once.
Perhaps shall refuse to so wit
you" she said,
Madam, | said II am prepare
for that"
And then brought In the lcga
hocus pocus with which / had Arme
myself.
Madam, though Of age, II Is nGce'
snry for you to show just cause beCor
You can refuse to return to a parent
roof Nine days are necessary for
quit claim, Meanwhile you are legal
minor. Pending your proof before
magistrate, | have authority to arret
you and take you home. | do so in IL
name of the law, ! trust you will NJ
force me to put handouts upon
lady's wrists, or to call in four polio
officers and lodge you In jail all nigh
hut. being under bonds to your fathe