davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

Political Boss lin great straitsl-Say, the
election is goin' against me. I'll give you q
apiece for their votes
Omaha Museum Man-Those are nothing
but freaks and curioSites from the Canniba
Islands and such places, half idiots most ol
them, and, besides, they've got no right te
vote
That don't matter, I'll fix that mus,
have twenty five more votes"
We'll, there are only twenty, anyhow"
"Great snakes, Can't ye' scrape up five
more!"
"lmposSible"
whats them freemen locked up in that
there cage fors'
They are ourangoutangs.'
''Them'll do. Dress em up an bring ZEN
around Omaha Wo.id
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14
HOW MiLLIoNAiRES DO.
According to Southwestern Ideas-Goid
Galore, Chsriots and Diamonds.

According to Southwestern Ideas-Gola
Galore, Chsriots and Diamonds.
Tie rural idea Of the manner IN which the
Astors and Nanderbilts live is amusing, and
will doubtless lie highly fiattsring to the per
sens named A man travelling down IN Ar
kan.awn heard two old women talking before
. cabin door One Of them, with clay pipe
between ber lips, said:
at do beat all how some folkses has ev ry-
thing q mortal body could asst fer, while
Others, like yoa an ME, Mis- Peterby, IS
poorer'n Jobs turkey all the born days OF our
lives. Now. you've heern tell OF them Van
derhilts an Astors there in New York, amt
your
-.Duno hut hev, ~ said Mis- Peterby."
We'll, I've lately heern some things bout
how they carry on My man he got 1t
straight from Zimri Perkins. an Zim he got
ii from his ~ifes mothers uBcles nevyy,
who takes paper printed in New York, 50 it
must lie true
Il amt doubt OF it.
Well if you'll b'leeve me, old Mis- Wander
hilt don't purtend To even wash her own
dishes She don't even make her own bed
her nor Mis- Astor neither, and they both
sleep in pink velvet nisht gownds trimmed II
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14
Stingy.

The genuine miser usually devetes mon
energy to keeping his money than would
suffice to make several fortunes. 1t cannot
lie that the expenditure of force is balanced
bv the personal satisfaction derived from sue.
cess. Many stories are in circulation illustra'
ting the stinginss of u certain farmer
He one day went into store to buy six feet
of rope, and the dealer, knowing his peculiar
love of money, told him he might have it for
ten cents.
an give you five"
Il can't sell for that Why, man. you've
got plenty of money, and ought not to
grumblei'
Yes, but times are powerful hard. Can't
stand that price" He went away, and after
remaining about two hours, came back to
ask, That rope fell anyf'
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14


"Go"i hyr
The next day be entered the store and said
Il hear rope is fslliu all over the county"
That so,'
Yes Hear that over at Cotton Town "
can git ten feet for nickel
Why don't YOU 60 over thereF'
Don't want to wear out my shoes, Say
has it fell any heret"
Not II bit"
wal, good by
Two days later he came back.
Say, he said, "hain't you got some old rope
you can sell cheap"
No old rope
New rope amt fell none yetT'
The dealer, worn out hy the siege, offered
him the required quantity for five cents. The
old man carefully measured it, and said, with
disappointed air It's three inches short.
Can't you knock oil something"
YES: give me four cents"
Say three
"Well, three"
The purchaser laid three somewhat dirty
one cent postage STAMPS upon the counter,
and hurried away, To leave the shopman nc
time for repentance " Iuuth's Conpanion.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14
An Unsuccessful DAYS sport.

Young Sportsman Ito farmer, from whom
he hired gun and u dog for day 5 shootingD
I've lost the dog.
Farmer-The dog came home four hours
ago. What's the matter!
Young Sportsman-Why, fired eight times
al a duck. which proved to he a decoy duck,
without hitting it, and then the dog howled
and started cross country. He's no good, Mr..
Hayseed, and that gun kicks like thunder
Farmer-I should think it would kick like
thunder.
Then Farmer Hayseed went around to the
back yard, where the dog was gnawiRg All
indigestible bone, and gave him pat on the
head and couple Of French chops.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

The mayOress of d northern Kansas town,
who was elected under the new woman suf-
frage law last week, came down 10 her Office
the other day with a Mother Hubbard on,
and as she sat cross legged in the mayors
chsir the city clerk noticed that she had a
hole in the heel Of her stocking and that her
bustte was to one side He reported the fact
20 his wife, bis wife told the hired girl, the
hired girl told her fellow, her fellow told the
city marshal, the city marshal told the
mayoress, whereupon the city clerk got fired
and the town is scandalized. The mayoress
said she would wear her hustle in front, be
hind or sideways, and ii was nohody's bust
hess. II is needless TO say that the fair
msyoress is red dheaded-Wichita Eagle.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14
II Is Odd.

A nameleSS professor relates the following:
During the after dinner talk, the man for
whom | was surveying remarked that mathe-
mates always seemed a very wonderful thing
To him Thinking To interest him somewhat,
| began to Illustrate some of the wonders
among others. tried TO show him the way in
which Neptune was discovered After some
twenty minutes of elaborate explanation,
was somewhat taken aback to hear him say
"Yes, YES; it is very wonderful, very; but
with a sigh there's another thing that's
alters troubled me, and that is, why YOU have
to carry one for every ten; but, il You don't,
twon't come ont right. School journal.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

Lawyer Sidney Jones was cross question
ing q colored female witness in the superior
court of Albany, Monday, and after the wit
hess had stood his questions until sue became
reStive under the strain she convulSed the
court room for a minute by addressing the
inquisitive lawyer as follows: Look heah,
white man, you needn't keep on akin me SO
many questions over an over bout the same
thing; You ai1't a gwins to catch me in no
lie Albany ga News.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

Il would like to pass to New York, IL you
please. | believe you are permitted TO give
passes to the clerical profesSionf"
"SeS: the interstate law gives us thai,
privilege. believe. You are a memher OF
that profeSSiouf Yes What name. Writes
out the pass and hands it to the applicant
with gracious bowl And where do you
preach, Mr.. Blandes'
"Preachf don't preach anywhere"
"But you said YOU We're clergyman"
Not l. | said | was member Of the
clerical profession. Clerk down in Julep's
ualoon. Cali round and see US Glad To re-
eiprocate So long. Boston Transcript.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

A prominent junk dealer recently re-
ceived an order for 10000 old tomato
cans. The dealer explained that much Of
this kind of Tin is used for corners and
edge pieces on low grade of trunks,
while many people use ii for tiushings on
roofs. The dealer is obliged to melt the
solder of straighteu the cans out into fiat
sheets pack the pieces in Nat bundles for
shipment, and OILY gets about $40 per ton
for his trouble Iron Age.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

The conversation Of two little girls amused
ne. SGid one:
when grow up I'm going to be a schooi
teacher"
"Well, I'm going to he a mamma and hav.
six children
We'll, when they come to school to me Tn
going to whip em, whip EN-, whip EN-
with crrScendo intonationl
You mean thing" with horrorl What
have they ever done To you''- Minneapoin
Tribune
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14
THE QUEEN OF HAWAII.

Daughter Of brown chiefs from over She seas.
Kspiolani,
TaNuy checked queen of the soft Polyu-sr,
Who eat Of the rsno and live al their ease,
Hail and good daN to your msl-sty please,
kspiulau'
Sprung from the strain of many q chief
Who padded and sw am by the coral reef,
Hail for the Yankees hold thee lief,
kapiolans
How fares thy glorious cousort, King Dave,
Kapioanis
Big is tb. throat OF 0shus big brave,
Big lie the flask his grief which shall lave.
He will drink to your health while you're over
the wave.
Kspolani!
Let dark Kslaksus for sorrow carouse.
Kapolani
Let him bind the dank cloth OF remorse ON his
brows:
The bead ii is his but the VISIONS his frsu's;
Did il chance that in Frisco you met with King
Claus,
KspioIani'
Thou CONTEST from slopes Of old Msuus Kes,
Kapioianil
From fire hearted Mauns Los sheer,
From crsr-rs that MI the island with fear,
From r--fs where the surf foams up like beer.
kapiolani!
With all kindly words OF the voice and the pen,
kspioisni!
We bid YOU he welcome and welcome again.
Sweet bread fruit of royalty, Pacfc's pearl, When
VIII you come 10 this town and see the Sandwich
men,
kapiolani:
Hawaiis bright daughter, touch hand and hand
kapiolauil
Blthe be your journeys In this Yankee land;
Soft shine the MONDAY hest You be tanned,
Soft skip the z~phyrs that you may be famed:
You're fond OF ice cream. You'll find America
grand,
oh. kspiolani, New York Sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-14

The lava beds in Idaho are swarminx
with deer and other game, which was driven
out Of .he mountains by the storms.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
Learning to Run an Engine.

A large and increasing share of the
worlds work is done by steam, and
if this is ever changed it will be by the
substitution of electricity or some
other motive power, equally requiring
the use of a complicated engine. To
learn to manage 81 steam engine is,
therefore, an accomplishment sure to
become more and more valuable to
any man as the years roll by. No one
can blame young man for trying to
acquire it, and if the boy on the farm
takes naturally to the engine when it
comes round at threshing time let
him encouraged rather th an laughed
at. IC may possibly become neces-
sary for every farmer to have steam
or other engine, and if not, the boy
who has learned to be handy in man
aging engines has pretty fair bust
ness learned should he be thrown un-
expectedly on his own resources.
Many young man has madea better
fight with the world through knowing
about mechanics than he could with
out this with a college education
thrown in.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
The Novice and His Teacher.
From the San Francisco Chronicle.

From the San Francisco Chronicle.
There is a story about two Bowery
gentlemen in New York that's not
dried. One of them was moving in
what the other considered swell So
ciety, and he was puzzled how he
managed to keep up the style.
"How do you do 1t ?" ne asked.
"Vellyou see, buys me dress coat
NIT tails at an auction, an when [
gets on dat coat | gets blenty of invi-
tations, an goes out"
"But we're does you get themonish ?"
s'The monlsh? You see venever | goes
takes away Wit me q silver spoon or a
knife Or something's, an I gets So Or
So for them. It's easy as pie. Wy
don't you try it ?"
"Me, l vas honest. I couldn't do no
such pizness.'
However, he was persuaded to buy
g. cheap dress suit and go into society
under the guidance of his ingenious
friend. The first party they attended
the old bird said:
"Vy don't you make away nit
something's? It'll never be known"
"No, [ couldn't. Vat! Accept OF
their hospitality an den-no-no, I
couldn't do it,"
"Look here. This is de way" And
he pulled up his trousers and showed
two knives and q spoon sticking in
his boot. The other was too honest
to follow his example. When the sup
per was in progress the honest one
got up and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, vos much
obliged for your hospitality. I vas
not good at speech making, but vas
able to do some sleight- of-hand tricks.
You see [ takes dem two knives und
one spoon, so. You see I puts dem in
my pocket, so. Now say press to
queek! You looks in dat mans boots
und you finds dem knives and spoon. /"
Then he said goodnight and went
home.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
A Trihe Mean.
home.

From the Admire City (Kan.) Free Press.
The meanest man on earth came
with the Olathe crowd at the excur-
sion. How he got transportation
here the saints only knew, but that
he paid his fare we don't believe for a
moment. He was the first to present
himself at thefree.for-all ice-cream and
cake table and the last to leave it..
He supped at the Admire House and
beat the proprietor out of the quarter
due for his eggs, steak, coffee and sum
dries. ALI the evening he fed at the
free ice-cream and cake tables, wash
ing down thelatter with free lemonade.
He slept on the cars, and VIXEN last
to pick off g. burglar, but, in these
restless nights, are much more likely
to hit some member of the family
who has q rowing commission to Sc
cure sleep. When the head of the
family retires to his couch with fire.
arms handy, he should, at least, fix
on q password or countersign for
family use.- Philadelphia Ledger.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
She Knew the Signs.

From the San Francisco Chronicle
| knew q lady who never dreams OF
Judging her husband by his talk.
That is not to be relied upon, but she
knows all his moods by what he does
and how he behaves. Now, the other
day he bought piece OF property, and
she was telling a lady friend.
"He bought it without looking at it,
don't you know?"
'"That's not very business-like."
You don't know my husband. He
was all right"
elbow much did he give for it? ?"
ST don't know: but he went up and
looked at it and [ know it was a bar
gain"
"If he didn't tell you, how do you
know"
81 know it was bargain, for he
never swore all that night"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
is worse, into the stalls sidewise, so as
to excite one OF the eyes only.
Farm Mites.

A FACTORY has been built in Florida
for the production OF wine from or.
anges.
STABLE manure, says Prof. Cham.
berlain, of Iowa, is the best fertilizer
on earth.
CARROTS often receive great injury
from g. few days neglect in wedding at
this season.
GIVE breeding COWS the run of g.
clover field all through the summer,
If you can.
POULTRY thrive in orchards and do
the orchards much good, for they kill
many insects.
The Grown Prince of Germany sells
1000 quarts OF milk daily from his
dairy farm near Berlin.
The swine breeders Of Iowa have
come to look upon white clover as an
excellent summer pasturage for hogs.
CULTIVATION should be more and
more shallow as corn increases in size,
says an Ohio Experimenting Station
report.
IF pure male is bred to mixed fe.
males the issue is toward the type
OF the pure breed SO long as such male
is used.
SOME tobacco lands in Lancaster
County, Pa, are said to yield a profit
equivalent to 81 q day to their
owner.
The importation of American -four
into the United Kingdom so far this
year has largely exceeded last years.
receipts
KEEP the hoe moving; it will not
only kill the weeds, but render the soil
mellow, and thus promote rapid
growth to the crops.
GIVE the sheep all the clover hay
they will eat after lambing, with meal
and quarter linseed, is the advice
Of contemporary.
IT is said that not less than two
million pounds of dried sage leaves are
used annually in the United States
for various purposes.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
THE CAPTIVE BROOK.

broOklet from the mountains sped,
Aud wandered on Its merry way;
1t wandered where its fancy led,
The liveiong night, the livelong day.
1t sang of dells where bird songs flow,
1t sang of haunts where lilies grow,
1t sang in tones that lovers know,
All day, all day.
The sunbeams on its riprles lay
And laughter through its cadence broke,
And as it danced away, away,
Unnumbered harmonies awoke.
It loitered by the dropping flower,
1t sang the love dream of the bower,
The song was new from hour to hour,
All day, all day.
miller came one morn of May,
And bound the brooklet to his mill,
Where labor wears the hours away,
And its harsh sound lie never still.
And round and round to fill his store
The water turns the mill wheel DER,
But, ali the brOoklet sings no more,
All day, all day.
Laura T. Hinsdale
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
A Pair at Carlsbad.
From the San Francisco Argonaut.

From the San Francisco Argonaut.
'There go the little cripple and her
father" said Lena, peering through
the trees, as little donkey cart drawn
by q particularly neat little donkey,
wound it's way up the path beneath
them. An immense Englishman, with
probably the largest foot that was
ever appended to man, was walking
along beside it, putting and steaming
and blowing, but walking with logged
determination. He wore suit of gil
gantic tennis fannels, q pair Of gigan-
tic tennis shoes and a gigantic soft
hat which Topped about his ears and
shoulders like huge leaf. Every pro-
portion about him was gigantic and
every line about him was round. In
the cart sat a proud, imperious-look-
ing beautiful young girl. She was trim,
shapely and elegant, from the crown
of her proudly poised head to the sole
Of her shapely foot, whose boot glis-
tened IN the sunlight as she sat. But
upon the seat beside her lay q pair OF
e egant crutches.
sDid you ever see such a. devoted
father ?'asked Lena. "We have hap
pened to come across them go many
times since our arrival, and the little
procession is always like this. They
are always together and the old gen.
tleman is always so interested. Poor
little girl, she is as pretty rs g. flower,
but she looks as proud as g. duch-
ess."
"She is Duchess" said Mr.. Van
Skaak, who seemed to know little
Of every one and everything, which
was perhaps the secret of F'red's pen
chant for him, "and q very historical
name she bears. They are the duke
and duchess of wellington"
SIT is a pity the Iron Duke did not
make arraugements to transmit his
nose to the entire family" said Mr.
Schermerhorn little irreverently, for
the ladies were quite overcome at be.
ing near SO great q name. she is GER
tainly not an engaging-looking per-
son."
Mr.. Van skaak lookd distinctly
panied.
81 have often seen this lady in the
huntingfield during her engagement to
the Duke" he said. "She was one OF
the best riders in England, and GER
tainly the most fearless. But she
tried too wide g. ditch once and was
thrown, poor little lady. She was
picked up badly wounded, and with
her leg so shattered that it be-
came necessary to cut it Off altogether.
It was amputated so completely that
surgery can give her no artificial aid,
and she is condemned to those crutch-
es for life." A CLINT OF sunlight fell
upon their silver mountings as he
spoke, and the little cart disappeared
in the windings OF the forest. Every
one says "Poor little thing!" and
seems to consider the story finished.
"But you do not observe" said Mr..
Van Skaak with the aggrieved air OF
one whose point has not been taken,
"the Duke did not throw her over,
as every one expected he would. It
was thought rather nice OF hin-and
ene was not rich woman"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27

rounds the turn in the road, look up
at her.
"suke! Gem. Suke Gem. Good
old Geml"
Sylvia holds out her empty hand.
Why had she forgotten the carrot
What if she should pass by {? No.
Gem turns, and, drawing near, lifts
her nose to Silvia s palm. Finding il
empty she turns away; but-leaping
with all her strength-Silvia falls
upon the back of the kind old brute
Hardly stopping to look around
old Gem moves on. Silvia lays her head
upon the soft shoulder, her bare arm
around the old cows neck.
Slowly, how slowly the little herd
moves homeward. Here old Gem
stops to bite tender clump of grass.
Silvia beats with her fists upon the
cows sides and she starts on.
So slow! She SO faint Painting;
all is growing dark; her arms unclasp;
she is falling.
The tramp of running feet stirs her
dulling senses. Dimly, in the dark
ness, she sees a face; she falls into the
strong arms OF Mr.. Marsh. She can
only say:
"Grandpa-is'-and all is night.
When Sylvia awoke the thin, sweet
face of Mrs. Marsh bent over her.
| Memory seemed yet unconscious till q
throb of pain quickened it. Then a
cold pressure stiles her heart.
"Ob Mrs. Marsh Grandpa Is
he'-
"Safe Yes, little one, and asleep
now, in yonder," replied Mrs. Marsh.
"Now take some O this broth, an
keep quiet, that's DEAR"
Safe! The ice broke about her
heart, and it beat warm and full
again. Safe! And she saved him.
| saw Sylvia, yesterday, sitting,
with a great bowl of peas to shell,
upon the back porch. Her head rest
ed upon the high green back of her
grandfather's chair. She is q grand
mother now.
The few fine threads left OF her child
hood tresses are as white as her pale
forehead. A thread of it fell over ner
eyes yesterday, as we were talking,
and she pulled it vigorously, thinking
it was travelling of her cap.
Grandma's life has hidden in it
many O. story of Drawer things than
l have told OF. For many q
crushed and fainting heart has she
found and saved, and this when her
own hopes have often been shattered
as her limb was. The aching of her
own heart never tempted her to for
get others. Never! She has learned
SHOW sublime thing it is
To suffer and be strong"
"Grandma," / said, "do you know,
or half know, how much We all love
you for it all ?"
Her thumb went blowing down the
furrow of g. broken pod, sending the
peas bubbling over her pale hand into
the pan.
81 know this much, sissy" she an
swered, "that | do not love these new
notion peas like the sweet old white
marryfats. But" she added, after q
pause, 81 love you ell very much"
Did ever grandma say so much of
her affection? You never heard 81
love you" on her lips, but you felt it
in the touch of her hand and saw it in
the calm, gray eyes. She ever was
and is, and forever must be, grave,
sweet, sensible helper of every one,
and, best of all, helpingus to help our
cnlx,o0
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-27
FARM AND HOME.
The Cool Wave.


I hear thee 'mong the rustling leaves;
Ripe first fruits OF the August air,
And over all the golden sheaves
Thy spirit fingers like prayer.
1 see thee in the fuller glow
Of ripeness that the roses wear;
And through life's twilight overflow
OF crimson glory thou art there
I feel thy spirits cooling touch,
Through all the pulsings of lifes care,
And in thy whisper hear "Of such
/ always make the worlds most fair"
o freshness of the spring time hours;
0 fullness of the summer day;
o ripeness of the golden powers
That touch with light life's fading clay:
o love incarnate-earth nor sea
Nor clOudless skies can ever tell
The secret of thy word to me;
'His angels guard thy message we'll
= William Henry Thorne