The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-08-21
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Wishes the World Would
Let Him Alone for a Fortnight.

Brother Gardner Wishes the World Would
Let Him Alone for a Fortnight.
81 wish de world would let alone fur q
couple of weeks" said Brother Gardner, the
echoes of the triangle died away at has got
to dat pass whar' 1 am constantly lookin' fur
sunthin' to happen, I'M it is WARM on my
narves."
sEbery Monday mawnin' we kin look in de
papers for an item to de effeck dat de cholera
sartin to reach dis kentry."
son Tuesday mawnin' we kin expeck to find
dat somebody has diskibered new comet, an
around an knock dis kentry ali to smash.
ION Wednesday mawnin' we ar purity sartin
to find a medical report to de effect dat consump
de las five vars, en- dat Guild men all ODER de
kentry droppin' dead wild heart disease.
Thursday de reg'la- day fur predictin'
tidal waves. cyclones an fnanshul panics.
Friday ar sartin to bring de news dat de coal
fields OBJ de world will be exhausted in about
252, 900 Vars, cherry stick of wood be gone var
later an dat de Guild populaehun KIN prepar
fur a sorrowful time.
Saturday eands up de week wild railroad
slaughter, big hotel flash, a steamboat col
lishun an de statement dat de germs of yaller
fever hev appeared in watermellyons. Dis puts
US all in good frame of mind. an when we 60
to church on Sunday an har de preacher tell
how glad we orter be dat We are lowed to lib
frew de week we feel dat he has struck de key
note.
81 tell you. doan care two cents whether de
sun am go OOO 900 miles from de airth, or only
90 $685. O0o / doan' know whether de moon
inhabited or not, an don't propose to lose any
sleep ober it. Dis kentry may have two thou
sand miles of coast exposed to de attack of fur
rein ironclad but amt gwine to git up mint
airer in de mawnn. 1t may be dat de intelieck
tual standard of de world has decreased 10 per
cent in de las decade but Ize gwine to keep
right on buyn de same grade of Goldfish from de
same grocer. Infidelism may be gainln ground
at de rate of per cent. per var, but me an de
ole woman am gwne to smoke de same kind OF
terbacker, an soothe our bunyuns wild de same
make of salve. Let US now purceed to biz
ness"
Sir Isaac Walpole asked to be heard on a per-
sonal matter, and when leave was granted he
said he appeared messenger Of mercy. At
young and tender member of the lodge, sub
mitted a poem in competition for the midsummer
prize. In his innocence of heart he had copied
it from Shakespeare. When the poem was read
the president suspended Sinful from the lodge
for three months and fined him $24, 900. The
steal WAS a heinous offence and the punishment
seemed just, but the angel of mercy was plead
He had done nothing but grieve and lament
since his downfall. His appetite was gone and
his health going. He would lie for hours at
time on the grass in the back yard, and his wife
could not arouse him, even when she whispered
that they were to have chicken for supper. Sir
Isaac believed in enforcing all rules and bylaws,
but was it not possible for the president to
done this, the brothers first offense, and give
him opportunity to prove his worthiness.
Waydown Bebee and Elder Toots and Pickles
Smith also spoke to the same effect. and Brother
Gardner said:
II will remit dc fine an suspension an restore
Sinful to his posishun. but let dis be sad
warnin' to you ALL What we doan' know we
doan' propose to steal from somebody else"