The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-12-28
Pith and Point.

a pair of No Is shoes for citizen of
Louisiana.
A ROLLING stone gathers no moss, but 1t
knocks out all opposition at the foot of the
HILL washington critic.
Or the freshmen class of forty-fve in an
Ohio college only seven smoke tobacco
The rest smoke cigarettes.
MIR. WHITTIER is living proof that man
may write poetry and yet retain the esteem
of his fellow-ctizens,-- Globe.
A KENTUCKY woman has petitioned the
governor for pension because she has
seven sons who were all born on Sunday.
A SOUTHERN paper says that a young
widow of that place has just celebrated her
wooden wedding by marrying blockhead.
RUsKIN says; i" Man should resemble a
river" Some men do, in one respect at
least-the biggest part of them is their
mouth Hotel Gdzette.
A WESTERN anarchist on hearing that
man is ninety per cent water went into his
room and blew his brains out. He could
not stand the disgrace. Life.
LANDLORD: "Come, Sepp, that is the tenth
match I've seen you strike. What have you
lost2" Sepp I'm looking for a match
that I've dropped on the floor. "-Germdn
Joke.
A CITIZEN of Fremont, Neb., who got
drunk and froze his feet so that they had to
be amputated, has just recovered $1,000
damages from the man who sold him the
liquor
The great tower of iron, a thousand feet
high, which was to have been the feature of
the next worlds fair at Paris is to be aban-
doned. 1t was found impossible to induce
workmen to build it.
THE highest living in New York is found
at the Hotel Nendome, where the dining
room is in the ninth story. The guests
have nice, long view as they saunter leis-
urely up in the elevator.
ANOTHER inventor comes to the front
with patent photograph-holder to be at
tached to tombstones. 1t is intended to
hold the pictures of the subjects of the me-
mortal tablets, and is fitted with sliding
cover to protect the photographs from the
elements.
A PROMINENT lawyer is being sued by his
former cook for having kicked her, and the
issue of the case will be waited with great
anxiety by all househoders. That there are
great many cooks who ought to be kicked
three times per day after meals no intelli-
gent gourmand will deny.
A LADY IN Milton, Penn. while returning
from market, frightened off rascal by pull
ing a piece of bologna sausage from her
= basket and pointing it at his head. 1t is
supposed the scamp mistook the bologna for
pistol, but it was more likely that he fled
for fear she would make him eat it.-Nor-
riStOlCn Herald.
The Paw Paw (Mich.) Courier has this add
vertisement: For sale-on long time, at
your own hgure-a COW, warranted to kick
harder, reach further and to perform the
operation with greater eXactness and upon
more inauspicious occasions than any other
COW in Michigan. Regarding this COW we
know whereof we speak"
EAsToN. Mass, boasts of its Oldest in
habitant," named Nancy Coley, born one
hundred eight years ago November %. Ira
dtion preserves the fact that when she first
appeared to her friends she was so small
that her nurse put her into pewter teapot
and closed the lid. Yet she grew up to be
the mother of twelve children.
AN old French gentleman attending the
opera heard the tenor in the Huguenots "
sing out of tune all the evening. In the
course of the opera the tenor was shot dead.
The old gentleman sprang to his feet eX-
claiming, as he shook his fist at the theatre
cal corpse, " Serves you right, you donkey!
You have sung false all the evening"
Musical Record.
AN exchange says that folded news
paper placed under the coat in the small of
the back is an excellent substitute for an
overcoat. There is considerable warmth in
a newspaper, that's fact. Many a man
has become heated by simply reading an
article in newspaper, and at such times
he wants to make it hot for the editor,
too.-NorristOiCn Herald.
was married on Wednesday, the 23d instant,
to Miss Sarah Folis. The groom is aged
fifty; the bride is twenty-five. Our last issue
contained notice of the death of the wife
of Mr.. John Hanks, which occurred on the
18th instant, and it was lack of enterprise
on the part of the Ne,CS, and not on the part
of Mr.. Hanks, that prevented the same pa
per containing notice of his marriage
anderson Ny) NeCs.
The parish clerk was told to give out the
notice "On Sunday next the service in this
church will be held in the afternoon, and
on the following Sunday it will be held in
the morning, and so on alternately until
further notice" What he actually did give
out was as follows: "On Sunday next the
morning service in this church will be held
in the afternoon, and on the following Sun
day the afternoon service will be held in the
morning, and so on alternately. '-Iemplc
Bar.
A HUNGRY fox was wildly jumping at a
vine on which hung number of tempting
clusters of grapes, While thus engaged a
passing kangaroo archly inquired :" Are you
fond of grapes, Reynard?" 1.-THE question
as to whether or not | am fond of grapes, y
replied Reynard, corrugating his brow, " is
absolutely irrelevant" Moral-Ths fable
teaches why the public laughs when Presi-
dent Cleveland remarks in his message that
the question of free-trade is absolutely ir-
relevant"
MOROCCO is sometimes called the emma
of the West" and it deserves its name, for
it is fully as much behind the times and is
even more of a mystery. There is really
less known about some parts of it to-day
than there is about the center of Africa. Its
area has never been accurately computed
and its population is variously estimated al
from two and one-half to eight millions
the very names of the tribes that compose
it being unknown. Its high mountains, the
loftiest on the Mediterranean, are unex.
plored and many of its inland cities have
never been entered by a European.-Tht
Cosmopolitan.
OUR Fonda correspondent writes: "ThC
case of typhletis in which DR.. VanderveeI
recently operated may prove "A recovery
The patient, young farmer, had long suf
fered from bloating and inflammation, ant
DIR. |. l. Buckbee called in DIR. Vanderveer
They found that a grape seed had lodged il
the vermiform process and had caused the
trouble. 1t had, however, worked itsel
through the intestine and was found out
side, but still needed removal. DR. Van
derveer lost a promising son by the sam,
cause a few years ago. Other substance
occasionally lodge in the same place anC
the case illustrates one of the most peculia
risks which attend the system of nutri
ton. "-Troy Times.