The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-08-03
CURRENT HUMoR.
WILL CARLETON.

A cross dog will make the upper strand
of a barbed wire fence feel softly as down
pillows are.
There is an American college in Rome,
butt has no base ball club, and is there
fore never heard of.
Nisltor-How much your hair is like
your mother'sl Little girl-Oh, DO, it isn't!
Mammas comes off and mine DON'T
An enterprising physician in Australia
advertises: 81 will pay one-hslf of the
funeral expenses in cases where am not
successful.
Johnny" said the minister, rather Sc
Yerely, "dO you chew tObacco?" eyes, sir"
was the reply. "but I'm clean out Just
now. Jimmy Browns got some, though"
kMamms-Ethel, dear, l noticed tina
young Mr.. SprigSs kept mis- eyes on you all
through the sermon. Ethel-Why, isn't
Sunday the best day for him to show his
devotional feelings?
A farmer said: zone thing 1 don't like
about city iolks-they be either so stuck
up that you can't reach 'em with a hay
stack pole, or so blame friendly that they
forget to pay their board"
"How old are you, my son." asked an
old gentleman of a 'tot' who was oele-
brating his birthday. PPM four" was the
reply, land Pm mighty glad OF il; was
getting very tired of being three all the
time. "-Leisure Hours.
Lavater, who did something as a physi-
ognomist says: ga black eye denotes q
tickle disposition" Now, see how easy it
was for Lavater to be mistaken. A black
eye simply denotes that its owner has
called bigger man liar.
Country editor Ito his wife)-Well, these
down East people are great geese. They
ookI I'M fNrf ho hr1rf I'd Of
Capt. Kidd, the pirate. All they have
found so far 10 Jug with IL cents in it.
That seems to represent the savings of the
old pirates lifetime. Editors child-Pa,
what kind of an editor is pirate?
Flies were very troublesome in the din
ing room of a seaside cottage, and a trap
was set for them. 1t did its work well, aud
the room seemed clear of them. But when
dinner was served they were as numerous
as ever. The three-year-old child ex-
planned their appearance by saying: Papa,
tot dey was in dere long enuf."
"Sir, hear you using the word donkey
very frequently in your conversation"
'Yes, your ears do not deceive you"
Gam to understand that you apply the
word to me2' why, what makes you
harbor such an unjust suspicion? Don't
you know that there are lots of donkeys in
the world beside you.-rexas Siftings.
Cant somebody stop that runaway"
yelled stranger In Detroit, exOitedly, as a
cab came tearing down the street at break
neck speed, driver and passenger both ap-
pareDtly frantic with terror. tina; ain't
no runaway" said an old resident care
lessly; Its the umoire getting away from
the base ball grounds. The boys must have
got beat"
'The money wasted in worse than use
less fireworks in our city" writes the as
tute editor, "would save hundreds OF the
poor and needy FROM starvation. VIII
people never learn the Judicious use of
money! Here" he continued, turning to
the Office boy, ''take that biggest tin pail
there and go and get it full of beer. Hustle
yourself. because I'm dry.
"Young man." said stern parent, with
the accent on the young, do you intend
to stay here all night holding my daugh-
ter's hand and looking her in the eyes like
a sick calf2" "No. sir" "What do you
intend to do, tbenp" We'll, had thought
that when you did us the kindness to re-
tire would put my arm around her waist,
and If she did not object too forcibly /
might risk kiss, San Francisco Post.
''TelI me-" he whispered With the horse.
ness of emotion whispered as If he feared
the murmuring surf might catch the ques-
ton and bear it to SONS other ears. FELL
me, have you ever loved2" She trembled.
She hesitated for a moment and he
thought he felt her bushes glow into his
eyes. She trembIed, and in still, soft
whisper gentle as the summer breeze,
aHtwered: mot this summsr."-San
Francisco Chronicle.