The Penn's Grove record., 1887-07-23

a GREAT IMPRoYEMENT.-A Da-
kota young lady was visiting a friend
in the east who had visited her in
Dakota last summer.
"You don't know how I miss our
lovely Dakota moonlight" said the ter
ritorial maiden.
"Don't you think the moon is as
nice here as at your homer" asked her
friend.
"Oh, 1t isn't half so lovely. You
onght to see tits perfectly elegant.
and makes it almost as light as cayl"
~ did see it last summer, and
it didn't seem to me to be any brighter
than 1t is here"
"Oh, well, last summer, of course. it
wasn't: but you ought to see it this
summer since the boom struck u
placed 1t is fifty per cent brighter"
THE POETS DREAM.-Poet, reading
a newspaper-"On the wall of the
house where Shakespeare lived a tablet
has been placed"
Friend-"Oh, yes, it frequently hap
pens that a tablet marks the room
where a great poet lived"
Poet. sighing-"I hope that some.
body will do as much for me when l
am dead and gone"
"I've no doubt or it."
do you really think SOP"
Indeed l de-"
"And what inscription do you sup
pose there will be on the tabletp"
Room to Rent"
-
A LOVE MATCH.-Julia-"I hear
that you are engaged to be married"
Maria-"Yes, it's a fact, and my tu-
ture husband is the handsomest AID
best of men,
"Then It's purely a love match. !
supposep"
"Oh, entirely so, entirely"
"Has he got money!"
"What an absurd question: or
course he has got money-lots of It,"
"DoN'T you think, 4" observed RICHIE
lieu, THAT it would be a source of i'm
proyement to have a friend who would
tell us of our faults. and at the same
time allow us to point out his own de-
fects."
"No, 1 DON'T" said Aranlnta. de
cidedly; 81 speak from experience, too,
for my best friend and | once tried it."
"Why, what was wrong about itf''
"Weil, you see, we haven't spoken
to each other for two years."
MRS. BCNDCLIPPER -"Doctor, what
do Won think is the matter with me?'
Doctor-"I am inclined to think
z..- 1z-1 "a. r.f nlnra WI have IN
give you something to purify your
blood.o
Mrs. Bondclipper hi ughtily)-"You
are probably not aware that l belong
to one of the old Dutch families OF
New York."
MERELY AN AcCIDENT.-Little
Marie-"Aunty, you don't know how
mad papa got this morning. He slam
med a plate against the wall and broke
it all to pieces"
Little Carl, reprovingly-"Mamma
told us not to speak about 1t, Marie"
Marle-"Oh, yes, l forgot. Papa
didn't throw the plate against the wall.
1t lust slipped out of his hand and fe |
against the wall, and 1t broke into a
thousand pieces"
A YOUNG lawyer in a Texas town in
vlted some of his friends to u game OF
cards In his room, to be followed by a
little supper. Frogs were a new species
of food in that latitude, and a dish OF
them cooked in the choicest way was
the feature of the occasion.
Supper-time approached, and during
a temporary lull in the conversation,
the door suddenly opened. and a Mil
es an waiter, in a loud voice. announced
supper thus:
"Mr. E., them tuds is done and sup
per is ready"
RURAL ITEM.-New Yorker
"What fresh air you have u here.
It's 50 much fresher than In New
York"
Farmer-"Jess so! That's just what
| was saying TO my old woman. Why
amt all these big cities built out In
the country"
A CHILLING REPLY.--Saro Johns
ing-'sMias SNOWFALL, Will yer particle
pate in some noah ice cream"
Miss Snowball-"No moan, Mister
Johnslng. likes ice cream once IN a
while, but not as beverage. Please
'scuse me-"