The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-05-06
BILLS COLLEGE"
The Vote to Admit It's First
"Gal" Pupil.

The college" was rickety old
room in the neighborhood of the Five
Points, and Shanghai Bill was the one
legged president of it. The mate to
this leg had been left on the battle
field of Fair Oaks, and no soldier was
ever more proud of his stump than
this one. AS he forcibly put it: "Any
man that wouldn't be willing to leave
the hull of his mortual carkiss in a
high old fight like that ere one, didn't
deserve the name of man." 1t will
be seen from this verbatim report that
Shanghai Bills knowledge of grammar
and rhetoric was limited; but as there
was no particular demand for either of
these sciences in his exceedingly orig
inal institution, it made little differ
ience.
His pupils were all newsboys, vary
ing in age from seven to fifteen years,
and were taught by Bill to read the
heads of the sensational columns which
it was their business to cry to the out
bANlG WOL lhs al WIS CllG DIGSl-
dents stronghold.
I'm your huckleberry in every thing
but fracshings," he had been heard to
say; "but when you come to splitting
two-thirds into nineteen-seventeenth
and an eighth, and squaring the hip
potomus, | should lie if | said | was
there"
At the time of our story, Shanghai
Bill had twenty pupils They paid five
cents week for their tuition, and
when any of the number happened to
be hard-pushed, as was not often
the case, the president cheerfully
Chalked it down, and waited for better
circumstances
1t was cold, drizzly night In Octo-
Der when Shanghai Bill placed his tai
low-dip in homemade wooden can
dlestick in the center of the home
made wooden table which served for
desks for the class. There was a straw
bed, minus bedstead, in one corner,
upon which the masters ungainly form
reposed at night. Eight perilous stools,
also homemade. and upon which the
scholars took turns in sitting, and q
small, ancient and very rusty cooking
stove, completed the college furniture.
The first to enter was Pete the Wide
Awake, followed by Short Jack and
Blue Tim, so-called on account of a
grief-stricken aspect, which never left
him in the moments of the greatest So
cial hilarity.
Pete had just opened his mouth to
speak, when the rest of the students
came trooping in. Most of them were
barefooted, many of them jacketless
and almost trouserlesS, but all were in
excellent spirits, looking forward with
the greatest pleasure to the evenings
work.
"You amt heered the news nor
nothm', l s'pose, bossP" began Pete
the Widc-Awake, as soon as he could
make himself heard.
"Didn' t. we give it to her, thought"
broke in Hockey Post-so-ca1led from
once having stolen several copies of the
paper of that name from fellow-ped-
dler.
Who did you give it TOP" asked
the president, raising his voice above
the din, which was just then ear-split-
ting "Now shet up, the hull of We,
and let Hockey tell what's to pay.
'Nuther one of your cock-and-bull sto-
ries, l s'pose; but drive ahead, Hockey,
SOS we can get to business some time
il the course of the night"
''Well, boss" said Hockey, with
great deliberation, Its a gal wot we
give it to-"
"A gall" exclaimed Bill looking
around upon the little company. You
don't mean to tell me, boys, that any
of you has been and gone and struck Il
gal, do YEP Let me tell you what the
great Mr.. Shakespeare says on that sub
ject. Any teller that ever gifts up his
muscle to give it to a woman, or gal,
which means the same thing, is fit for
treason, strategy and spiles. That's
what he says. You know what treason
is, boys, forI told you t'other night"
''Short Jack punched her little, be-
cause she wouldn't give up the papers, :"
continued Hockey. "You see, the fust
thing we knowed, this girl was a.
hollerin' Herald. 6n1 and Times list
llke 40 old hand, We couldn't stan