Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-06-03

No hDA 1Iu I S,OI IL yGG.
"Well, then, ! will make one CUES:
more and then quit. You are trying to
sell county rights for a new patent OF
some sort?"
EXQUISITE AGONY.
" No, sir; nothing of the sort. En-
gagged IN any OF tie occupations you
mentioned l could be comparatively
happy-joyful l may say; but to-day /
have been engaged in high sddying
around from one end OF town TO another
house hunting. Never have been out
house hunting? Well, you know nothing
about the miseries of life. No man can
tell what torture human nature can
endure until he goes out looking Tor q
house, to rent. l was raised on a farm
where l used to think misery in all it's
forms existed. | have pitched hay up
into a stable loft and had the thistles run
down my back; have walked barefooted
fifteen miles through wheat stubbles, on
q three acre patch, trying to catch an OLD
blue mare that would eat all the corn out
of my straw hat and run away when |
tried TO catch her; l have been made to
get down on my knees and weed the
carrot bed while other boys went in
swimming; | have belabored an old besCh
IL WIN q JlOhEA AduNlCO dA III ZIG
vain hope of chipping of some
wood; l have carried water all
day for the elephant and had
my biggest brother steal nv ticket and 90
to the circus on it; | have ridden a long
legged colt, with patchwork quilt and
rope stirrups, for g saddle, that threw me
in front Of my best girls house when
wanted to show eff; have loaned money
q iDinaC4i ir1 mild boI 1nninafi
that l was going to get it back; l have
worn number eight shoes on number nine
feet and got spider bit on the lip the night
before q ball, after earning the privilege
OF attending by three weeks in the corn
field, but, for acute misery and exquisite
agony, house hunting is Just a little ahead
OF anything: for something to tear a
mans sensiOilities with red hot Ipincers
and make this world place of utterdeso-
lstiOn, give me house hunting"
he paused awhile, ran his index fingers
around liberating wilted collar from its
clammy hold on his neck, wiped anumber
of glitterlrg globules perspiration from
MS wrists and continues
"You don't know where | can get
nice cottage to rent, do your"
The gentleman addressed die not know,
but presumed there would be little diff.
cul5y in finding one; there were great
many very nice cottages in town, and
some Of them would likely be for rent.
PAINTED SEPULCHREs.
eyes, that is whst thev ell tell me-
Plenty OF houses for rent, but finding
them is the trouble. There is plenty Of
money buried in the ground, but who
can find it? can find houses in abun-
dance, but no1e to suit. l saw vacant
house to-day, but the owner wanted me
to buy it and pay for it in advance every
month. And such house! 1t was about
the middle Of block, in q row of houses
exactly the same. Each building was the
Imsge of the other. They reminded me
of row Of painted sepulchers. man
would have to tie striLg to his door
knob and hold the end Of 1t in his hand
il order to find his own particular cell on
his return.
WITHIN.
Then again you find q sign: House for
rent, inquire within You imagine you
have found it, and feel like crying out,
Eureka but alas, within is a delusion
ana 8 snare. Within takes YOU in
the back ally, where the old house
has been moved to make room for
''Within" tells you that il is very de- |
sirsble house; that number of people |
are struggling to get it, but only first |
class people need apply. "Within'' leads |
you around through The chicken house, .
over the old piano box, over ruined -four
barrels, desecrated sardine boxes, num- |
berless bone rings, erstwhile the center
for an aureole of beef steak, down by the |
stunted grapevine which is blasphemy |
On vegetation to where stands the SIDE
sirable house." 1t is desirable 10 one |
constituted as was Mark Tapley. Nov
ing has loosened the rafters somewhat, |
and few blear- eyed shingles had to be !
added a white board here and there |
glares out boldly in startling contrast |
with the weather beaten modesty OF its |
fellows, and the front porch is gone. |
"Within" tells you that it is a palace, but |
in g day or two, will be made a perfect |
elysium, s1d-but you leave.
THE WRONG FONT.
Another miles walk and another sign |
greets you: House TO rEnt-ask Next
dnAr.' You can 60 next door |
with perfect confidence in finding
among other things stump |
tail yellow dog. There is one pecu-
liarity about human nature. Whenever
you find sign with "Wrong font" letters
and murdered photography in it, you will
always find yellow dog, minus tail,
lounging around. Singular? Yes, but
have often noticed it You don't want
Wrong Fonts box car, and you don't
want to encourage old stump-tail to carry
out his threats Of decorating your amisble
person, so you go to where Mr.. So and
SO has
"A SPLENDID HOUSE
no In6orn Rlarl- nod "a i'm in, i