Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-02-26
BILL NYE ON MATR MoNY,

The following matrimonial inquiries are
now in my hands awaiting replies, says
Bill Nye, In the Boston Globe, aud | tlke
this method of giving them more air. A
few months ago iniudciously stated that
would take great pleasure in booming, or
otherwise whooping up, everything in the
matrimonial line, if those who needed aid
would send me twenty-five cents, with per-
sonal description, lock of hair and general
outline of the style of husband or wife they
were yearning for. As result of thus
yielding to blind impulse and giving it
currency through the Globe | now have a
huge mass of more or less sOlled postage
stamps that look as tEou,h they had made
a bicycle tour around the world. haymow
full of letters breathing love till you can
rest, and barrel of Calico color, hair. 1t
Is rare treat to look at this assortment of
hnir of every hue and degree of curl and
coarseness. When | pour it out on the
floor, 1t looks like the interior of an Indiana
barbershop during the State Fair. When
want fun again, l will not undertake to OBJ
tain 1t by starting n matrimonial agency.
l have one letter from a man of twenty
seven summers, who pants to bestow him
self on some one at as early date as
possible. He tells me on q separate slip of
paper. which he wished destroyed, that he
is little given to bowling up" o term
with which l am not familiar, but he goes
on TO say that good, noble woman with
love in her heart and an earnest desire to
save soul, could rush in and gather him
in good shape. He says that he is worthy,
and if he could be snatched from drunk
ards grave in time he believes that he
would become eminent. He says that sew
eral people have already been overheard to
say: What pity he drinks" From this
he is led to believe that n good wife, with
some means, could redeem him. He says
that 1t is quite common thing for young
women where lie lives to marry young men
for the purpose of saving them.
IL think myself that some young girl
ought to come forward and snatch this
brand at an early date.
The great trouble with men who form the
bowl habit is that, on the morrow, after they
have been so bowling, they awake with a
distinct and we'll defined sensation of sore
ness and swollenness about the head, ac-
companied by strong desire to hit some
living thing with stove leg. The married
man can always turn to his wife in such an
emergency, smite her, and then go to sleep
again; but to one who is doomed to wander
alone through life there is nothing to do but
to suffer on, or go out and strike some one
We
lay himself liable TO arrest.
This letter is accompanied by tin type
picture of young man who shaves in such
a way as to work in streak of whiskers by
which he fools himself into the notion that
he has O long and luxuriant mustache. lie
looks like person who, under the influ-
ence of liquor, would weep ON the bosom
of total stranger, and then knock his wife
down because she split her foot open in
stead of splitting the kindling.
He is not Il bad-looking man, and the
freckles on his hands do not hurt him as a
husband. Any young lady who would like
to save him from drunkards grave can
address him il my care, inclosing twenty
five cents, a small sum which goes toward
a little memorial fund l am getting up for
myself. My memory has always been very
poor, and if l can do it any good with this
fund am going to do it. The lock of hair
sent with this letter may be seen at any
time nailed up on my woodshed door. IT
is dull red color, and can be readily cut
by means of pair of timers shears.
BURNT PRAIRIE, NEAR JUECTION, on ROAD
TO COURT House, Tenn, Jan. =, 1897.
DEAR SIR am in search of wife, and
would be willing 10 settle down if l could get
q good wife. ] was but 2G years of age When
my mother died, and miss her sadly, for she
was, oh! 30 good and kind to me, her caring
son.
l have been wanting for the past year to
settle down, but l have not saw girl that
l thought would make me a good. true wife.
l know ! have saw a good deal OF tho world,
and am Inclined to b. cynical for ] sea how
hollow. everything j., and how much need
there IS for great reform. Sometimes
think that if ] could express the mid thoughts
that surges up and down in my system,
could win lcahless name When get two
or three drinks aboard can think If things
faster than can speak them, OF draw them
off for the paper. What l want is a woman
that can econOmize, and a so take tho place
of my lost mother, who loved me and put a
better polish on my boots than any other lv-
ing man.
know am gay and gddy in lny nature,
but if | could meet joyous young girl just
emerging upon life's glad morn, and she ha
means, would be willing to settle down and
make as good a husband as you ever shook
stick at. Al