The Democratic advocate., 1887-07-16
Our @lio.
The New Umpire.

Ii you have met Charley Munger lately
you must have noticed how old and care
worn he is getting to be. He used to be
the brightest fellow in Trottervillc and
popular, too, but lately nobody seems to
speak to him and there is little left of his
old geniality.
Charley" said to him the other day,
'what is the matter with you p
"Oh, nothing" answered Charley de-
jectedly.
"Nonsense," replied, "there is some.
thing wrong. What is it? Anything l
can help you about ?"
"Well," he said with sigh, s'it isn't
anything serious. The trouble, if it can be
called trouble, dates from the foundation
of the Trotterville baseball club"
"Why, | thought you were active in
getting up the club ?''
$50 was; so was It's a good club,
too, but you see | don't play and am the
umpire and"-
81 see how it is"
ayes, that's what's the matter, I don't
seem to be able to please anybody. They're
all down on me"
'Look here" I said, 81 know fellow
in Detroit that used to be league umpire
Let me bring him over. He is little fel-
low, but l don't think they will growl
much at his decisions"
Next day met Bill Higgins and asked
him to come over to Trotterville and UNI
pire game, and posted him on the kind
of kickers the Trottervillians were. Hig-
gins is an Englishman, who used to be one
of the cowboys in Buffalo Bills Wild West
show, but, for some reason, Higgins did
not care to go back to England with the
company, and so is out Of job Just now.
Bill used to do the fancy shooting and
some of the lasso exercises, and is a tough
customer.
When we got to the Trotterville grounds
the game was in progress and Charley was
umpiring.
"One strike y he cried, as the ball came
over the plate.
"What's that you say?" cried the cap
tain of the ins, as he marched up threat
eningly to the umpire
~ said strike"
''That wasn't no strike; the ball was be-
low the knee" This statement was loudly
corroborated by the man at the bat.
"Well, 1 thought it was a strike" said
the umpire.
at wasn't all the same" the ins were
unanimous in saying.
"All right. Call it one ball then"
"What's that r. yelled the captain of the
outs, as he marched from the field.
"Oh, come now, go on with the game"
said the bewildered umpire
"You said a strike" shouted the out
captain, "and, by George you've got to
stick to it.
"Not if he was wrong, as he admits"
said the in captain.
"Wrong nothing. It's a strike. He
said so, Hang such umpiring'
"See here" said the umpire, anxious for
peace, 'let's call that off and begin again.
After some grumbling this was agreed
to, and the game went on. The man at
the bat hit the ball and ran for the first
base. The ball was very cleverly stopped
by the second baseman and thrown to first,
ball and batsman getting there about the
same time. The umpire had run down to
first and stood there with indecision.
''Darn if know which it is, he said help
lessly. There was howl at this remark.
"He's out !" yelled the outs. "Safe |
safe r shouted the ins, all gathering around
the first base. There was wild wrangle
between the two captains, and when they
turned to appeal to the umpire they found
that that individual had taken the oppor-
tunity to get over the fence and 90 home,
"This gentleman" l said to the two
captains, "was umpire in the league last
summer. Perhaps he would see the game
through for you They united in inviting
him to take the vacant post and he con-
sented. The new umpire threw off his
coat and unwound from his body long,
thin rope, which he flung on the ground,
Then he tightened his belt and said oToss
that ball here.
The pitcher tossed the ball to him.
aThat balls no good, " said the new um-
pire.
"What's the matter with it ?" growled
one of the captains.
"Well, it's no good That's what's the
matter with it."
"Well, we amt a league club, and we
can't afford no dollar and half balls on
this ground, said the captain, somewhat
cowed by the resolute demeapoE of the
umpire.
The umpire flung the ball into the air,
then putting his hand to his hip pulled out
big revolver and fired as it came down.
The baseball few into dozen pieces.
There was cry of amazement and dismay
They had no other ball, The umpire went
to where his coat was lying on the ground,
brought from the pocket a familiar red
labeled box, tore it open, took out new
ball and tossed it to the pitcher.
"There, he said, ''I'll make you present
of that one. Now, then, play ball"
Up came the ball,
Gone ball |"
Up it came again.
"Two balls T.
aThree balls |"
The pitcher took fresh hold on the ball
and rubbed it in the sand
'sFour balls"
Next time the ratified pitcher flung vide
of the plate.
'Five balls Take your base"
The hatSman dropped his club and trot-
ted down to first base. The captain of the
outs came marching towards the umpire,
mad clear through,
The umpire at once put his hand to his
hip and criedi
aWhat are you coming out of the field
for, sir2"
I'LL want to speak to the pitcher, :"
said the captain.
"All right" said the umpire; abe quick
about it.
They conversed for moment, then the
captain said: II suppose can change
pitchers? ~
eyes, if you have another pitcher in the
field"
The pitcher was sent to center field and
the center man went into the box. He
pitched slow and curveless ball, but ii
went over the plate every time.
Gone strike"