Mexico weekly ledger., 1887-02-10
WIT AND HUMOR.
IT I.OCK-PICEER

THE I.Dfk-PIGNER-
With stealthy hand he struve to clip
One golden riugIct from her head.
"Ah, DON'T Then, with Il smiling lip,
''They are my sister james, she said.
-Harper's Magazine.
""The lazy husbands wide awake
He gives his wife Il gentle kick
AT dawn, and says: Get mp and make
The fire. my dear, I'm very sick"
1t is the same when storms arise,
And bitter BOTeal brcCzes blow;
He's awful sick. In bed he lies.
And she must shovel Oft the snow"
THE
when Atalanta, US the fables say,
Hard pressed in race the young Hippo
To stay her swift pursuit he cast away
Apples of gold from the Hespcrides-
Not SO do young men of the present day
In whose possession golden fruit one sees:
They keep their apples-nice decoys these
make them
And let their Ataiantas overtake them!
-Maniey Ii. Pike. in HGrper's Magazine.
Sarah Bernhardt has reached Pana-
ma. She must feel at home in that
narrow istiimus.-BOStOn Herad.
Mr.. Bulge is credited with having
worn the first silk hat seen in Dakota
Territory. 1t had a brick in it.
Docs position affect sleep?' asks a
writer. The position Of your wife's
cold feet often does these winter nights.
-L0uiSUiWe J0u'nal.
There is a great demand for arms in
Europe. SO there has been here, ever
since the sleighing season began.-
Burlington Free Press.
Mr.. Lie is a member of the Kentucky
Legislature. He has near relatives in
many other Legislatures, though they
do not all pass by the family name.
We have IA little piece of advice to
offer, gratis: Don't sit down on a to-
~boggan-slide unless there is a tobog-
gan under you.-Burington Free Press.
The man who tries to make q two
thousand-doIlar salary fit a four-thou-
s~and-dollar outlay generally winds up
the experiment III n foreign cline
Hitafeiphia cal.
Wife-You talked in your sleep last
night, John, and you mentioned moth
er's name. Husband-That so? 1t
must have been that mincepie | ate be-
fore going to bed.-Harper's Bazar.
DIR. Mary Walker, according to a
current item, begins to show the eff
fects of age. Probably the report
arises from the fact that when the doc
tor takes her walks abroad she pants
II feel like thunder this morning."
complained Il New jersey citizen.
That's because you fooled with light
ming last night reverbcrated his
wife, quicker than a fiash.-NtW York
Sun.
The coming girl will walk five miles
a day, says the Household. If the editor
will name the starting time and dis
tance perhaps the fellow she is coming
after can get out of the way.-HinRe-
dpoiis Tribune.
A commercial traveller fell flat on his
face on College street yesterday. He
came up smiling. but the Street De-
partmient will have a cracked paving
stone to replace II of these days.
Sew HdCeH Palladium.
Miss Boston (sweetly)-I under
stand, Miss Chicago, that the bellies of
your city find large boots the more pre-
ferable? Miss Chicago (still sweeterl
Yes; but WI don't have to use mucil-
aye on our garters.-Pack.
An exchange says: Mrs. Cleve-
land sits very quietly and demurely in
church" This will be pleasing infor-
nation for those who suppose she was
in the habit of creating a disturbance
during divine seryice.-New Hacea
NefCS.
The movement against the wearing
OF hats and bonnets at the opera has
been so successful that it is now no.
tieed that only those ladies who live in
the suburbs or are from the country
wear their street head coyeriues.-Bos-
ton Post.
The jury that recently tried two
saioonkeepers. of Woodland, Cal, for
grand larceny returned this verdict:
I'VE, the jury, find the defendants not
guilty, with the recommendation that
they leave the town within forty-eieht
hours
'tis he a young man of brainsP" in
quired an old gentleman respecting a
swell youth. well, really,m replied
his daughter, Il have had no opportun-
ny OF Judging. never met him any,
where else except in society.r-Tash-
iagt0n Critic.
There are rumors of trouble between
Lord Randolph Churchill and his Am
erican wife. 1t probably began when
ne resigned a So, 900 office right in
the middle Of the gay season, when
new dresses were most necessary
' Boston Herald.