Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1887-08-24
SAID J BY WITS.
HIS LAST HOME I. RUN,

dome Run. ; fa $.5s.E
FOLLOWED, HIS SUGGESTION.
# Kind sir, your daughter would we'd"
t 10 to- go to L, the father said
n 8 no twas no sooner said than done.
/ ri For they went two and came back one. #
Washington Critic. zs5 ts 3=
5 . IA FLOWER OF CIVILIZATIONS.
= She was a passenger in a. Woodward
avenue horse-car. Her frock was one
of fashionable fabric and it fitted with
much elegance, She wore silk lnitts
Ind an exquisite hat, over the crown of
which danced and bobbed beautiful
zzplumes. Her eye was bright her COM
y plexion fine (ands NATURALLY, and her
1 general STYLE distingue. She had a cap
tivating smile and was altogether a
proud representative of that beauty and
animation for which the Detroit young
woman, as an institution, is celebrated
the very flower of our refined civiliza-
sion. ~ ~ & $s f $*
She spoke to her companion, q mild
hammered, elderly woman, and these
were the words she said: ~
''Do yous git to ridin on the boats
much this here weatherp"- Detroit Free
Press. :.
WHAT TO TAKE TO PIcN1Cs.
She-Are you going to the picnic
Tuesday, GeorgeP ~ .s-s I'LL ..; .
He-O, Yes. 49, s s 1,S =, : r
She with feeble indifference
Alone, Georgep %
He-No;I shall take an UMBRELLA
Puck.
-,..- PANN1NG OUT WE'LL
he Ga la vintage of 1710)-At last
darling. may call you mine! - -
= She quilting herself up by his mus.
tache)-I should Jubilee! Pop gave me
his blessing just after hash-tackle, and
blew me in for three hundred shares
Calumet & Hecla.-Puck. ..-.>- r. =, y:
4 SOMETHING ELSE. ~
Give cents apiece for peaches!'' she
exclaimed, as she retreated a step or
two in amazement.
.sYes'm-fve cents.''
.sBut isn't that awful?''
eyes, rather steep, ma'am. There
fore permit me to call your attention to
these beautiful Bermuda onions, five
times as large as peach--no pit in the
centre to take up room-and selling
, for three cents each. Might say six
for Is cents, ma'am.-E1.
WHAT he WANTED.
1Sd-Bits: Yes, SIR said the real
estate agent, that piece of property on
4 street is just what you want"
ssSeems to me it's good ways from
The centre of the city, isn't itp" asked
the prospective tenant. sI'm always
in my office until late in the afternoon
and it would be after 6 when I got
home.'' " -. r.
Yes, it's four miles, out, but then
you are only two minutes walk from
che baseball grounds ...
I wish you would make out the lease
D before anybody else comes in,'' said
The prospective tenant vigorously.
ORDERING A FEAST.
Countryman Tin restaurant) guess
you kin git me up nice piece of beef
stake, and have it fried rare.
Waiter Fried?
Countryman-Yes; you don't expect
I'm going to eat it raw do you2-Nev
Y0rk San.
HOW MARGARET DREW THE LINE.
. Our pantry is next to our kitchen,
where Margaret received the visits of
aer Mickey. One evening I went down
70 the pantry for something, and while
there was an Involuntary eavesdropper
IN poor Margaret. She had conided
70 ma only few days before that
shortly after Lent, we would have to
look out for a new girl, and we con-
! sequently received Mickey with more
good will than before he had declared
dis intentions, although we were sorry
to think we would lose Margaret. On
The evening in question Mickey was in
The kitchen where Margaret was finish
ing up her work. After the rumble of
q gridiron falling to the floor had sub
sided, I heard the following dialogues:
''No, Mickey. ..No, you cannot, -
.s.s "s'.'Ah, Maggie, dear, gi'' me one kiss
from those sweet lips s..<Z +. 3. i
!. mickey" replied Margaret, in
stern voice, ''you must own the bowl
before you claim the sugar. ,e ##
I recommend Margarets views to
the serious consideration of young
ladies who are unable to decide what is
the proper conduct for engaged couples
without apply lying to the newspapers.
LUCKY FOR THE BURGLAR. s
Mr.. Where lis that burglar,
Mariap Where is hep Where is the
villain gonep'' 4. b b. B.
&. BE- Mrs. Poots- ..Gone to the station
house. O dear, I'm so distracted. o,
John, why did you leave me all alone
when the alarm rung and run into the
garrett
Why did I run into the garrett I
keep my arms in the garnet, that's
why Is. =. TIM
But you've been gone an hour.;'''
Took over an hour to oil up nv gun