Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
The Agricultural Editor.

hO Woh0Ou ~ DouAyj "hu no oooh SAoo-
ed a bargain with the proprietor Of
the Farmers Friend and Cultivators'
Champion. The proprietor intended
to be absent for two weeks, and Dyke
undertook to hold the journals head
steadily up stream until his return.
"You will receive some visitors.
quite likely" said the proprietor.
Entertain 'em-entertain 'em in a
manner which will reflect credit on
the paper. They will want to talk
stock, farming, horticulture, ETC., you
know. Give it to 'em strong"
Dyke bowed, borrowed a half dol
lar, got a clean shave, a glass of beer,
and soon returned to face the music
and edit the first agricultural journal
with which he had ever been connect
ed.
II can feel that, with my journal
istic experience it will be just fun to
run an agricultural paper" said Dyke
to himself.
At two o'clock p. NJ. the first visitor
showed up at the door of the Office,
and Dyke cordially invited him in
side. The farmer entered, hesitating-
ly, and remarked that he had expect
ed to meet the proprietor, with whom
he had an appointment to discuss en-
silage.
II am in charge of the journal" "
said Dyke.
ooh, you are. Well you seem to
have a pretty clean Office here"
"Yes." replied Dyke. "But about
this ensilage. Ensilage is pretty
good breed, isn't itp
"Breedw exclaimed the farmer !;
"why-"
II mean it's sure crop; something
that you can rely.
"Crop! Why it isn'ta crop at all"
"Yes, yes, l know it isn't CROP"
said Dyke, perspiring until his collar
began to melt away down the back of
his neck; "but you can do better
and cleaner work with good sharp
ensilage on stubby ground than"
"Take it for sulky plow, do you Z"
"No, no." said Dyke. "You don't
seem to understand me. Now, if a
farmer builds an ensilage on low
ground"
Builds an ensilage! You seem
to have got the thing mixed up with
some kind of granary."
"Pshaw, no" continued Dyke. IL
must make myself palmer. You see,
this ensilage, properly mixed with one
part guano and three parts hypophos-
phate of antimony, with the addition
of little bran and tan bark, and the
whole favored with chloride Of lime,
makes a top dressing for strawberry
beds which,"
"Why ensilage isn't no manure"
mo, certainly not" said Dyke. 81
know it is not often used in that way.
You don't catch my drift. When /
said top dressing ! meant turkey
dressing--stuffing, you know for
Thanksgiving"
"Great Heavens, man! Ensilage
isn't human food"
mo. not human food exactly"
said poor Dyke, grinning like an aims
house idiot; lit isn't food at all in
the true sense of the word. My plan
has always been to lasso the hog with
a trace chain, and after pinning his
ears back with clothes-pin put the
ensilage into his nose with a pair of
tweezers."
"My good lands You don't use
ensilagc to ring hogs"
81 never believed myself that it
should be used for that purpose but
when you want to ring hens or young
calves to keep them from sucking"
The farmer gravely shook his head.
"Did you evextxy ensilage on the
hired girl?" said Dyke desperately,
and winking like bat at 11:30 p. M.
The farmer slowly arose, and with
some evidence of rheumatic twinges
in his legs.
"Young man," he said solemnly,
"you are a long ways from home, ain I
your"
EYES," replied Dyke, dropping his
eyes beneath the stern glances of the
farmer. "In my ancestral halls in
England, sad-eyed retainers YEARLY
watch and wait for my return"
"Go home, young man, 90 home to
your feudal castle, and while on your
way across the rolling deep, muse on
the fact that ensilage is simply canned
food for live stock-put up expressly
for family use in a silc, which is
nothing else than an air-tight pit where
corn.stalks, grass, millet, clover, al.
falfa, and other green truck is pre-
served for winter use, Ms green and
verdant as the sub-editor of the Farm
crs' Friend and Cultivstors' Cham.
pion."
And Dyke Fortesque sighed as he