The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-07
BRIGHT BITS.

THE position of judge is an exceedingly try
ing one,-Merchdnt Traveller.
The older poets used to write about Loves
Halo" In this telephone age the dapper
hymeSter gets off grinds on Loves Hello. -
Burlington Free Press.
Why do ducks go below the water? For divers
reasons. Why do they come up? For sun-dry
reasons Why do they go down again? To
hquidate their little bills. Why do they bob up
sereney? To make a run upon the banks
Peoria Call
NEW ARRIvAL-"Any chances for young fell
low around these parts!"
Native Eyes, Tots; most all chance here
abouts. Would you like to step across the
street, and have quiet little game of draw
poker?"-Jitdge.
Coz. SLAYEm- Nose, give me two soft-boiled
eggs and piece of toast.
Mose-Ts sorry to hab to 'spain to you, Massa
Colonel dat de eggs don't bile good dis mawn-
in. Dey makes mighty fine omelet, do. Shall
l bring you one, sah:-Hdrper'S BdzGr.
Now, what would you think of it, Mr.,
II you had pretty young sr.,
And an impudent chap
Should sit in her lap,
And refuse to get up till he'd kr?
Boston Record.
IL the Bots de Boulogne-A cavalier and an
Amazon galloping down the road. He-You
know, dearest, an accident sometimes happens
without warning. Surprising | should be Killed,
would you marry again?
Cue-Ou, nOU lHlIlletldJely. --FFOH Ue FRENCH.
He was almost mellow enough to be pulled by
the police when be came home and reeled up to
the telephone ''Hello!" he said, cautiously;
''helo, shentral, I want Mria,'' "What num-
ber?' testify. twelve hundr'd an shebenty-
hicfour'' ''Why you're at that phone your
self" 20, don't min me-ring 'er up anyhow"
Detroit Free Press
MONTANA JUDGE-What is this man charged
with?
Constable Hoidin' tibet his shootin' iron
counted in a flush.
JudgeDrinks for the crowd. Next!
COnstable-This here chap calls hisse'f
McCosky Butts, and says 'daypo" an 'i-ther''
an ''ni-ther"
Judge-Two hours ter git outer tn county-
Washington Critic
INPEouNIoUs PARTY-Jones, suppose you were
all broken up, financially, and wanted money
awful bad, what would you do?
Jones-Why I'd go around to my friends and
ask them
Impecunious Party Frightening up and inter
rupting with an expectant air)-Yes and ask
them
Jones-For work
Impecunious Party-Ah! Pittsburg Dispatch
DO YOU see that stout, elderly man in front
Yes; what about him?''
Nothing, except that he is a freak"
"a freak"
Eyes, a freak"
How soy
'He is the only lawyer in the city who does
not expect to be the successor TO the late Justice
Woods of the Supreme Court. '-TerdS Siftings.
YOU'VE a beautiful country seat Mr.. Bascomb,
The landscape charms me-
''Im pleased to hear You say that, Mr.. OAR
ringer There isn't a finer lawn in the whole
country"
All and what would it be without that COW
grazing there? 1t shows you have an eye for
effect Outlined there against the blue hori-
zon--H
"A COW: I've no COW. Blame me if it isn't
Smiths COW. Here Rover! here, Carlo!"-Har-
per's BGzGr.
REV. IsIDoRE LoEwENTHAI, a member of the
American Presbyterian Mission at Peshawer.
India, and man of great intelligence and
nobility of character, on returning to his home
late at night without having lighted his lantern
his tchaukidar "a private policeman who loved
him very much taking him in the dark for a
thief, shot him dead. The chaplain of St Johns
Church, wishing to do homage to Loewenthal's
character, made the following entry in the
parish register:
l664-April27 Isdore Loewenthal missionary
of the American Presbyterian Mission,
shot by his own tchaukidar well DONE thou
good and faithful servant. Boston Transcript.