davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1887-10-13
STEAMERS.
EIoR NORFOLK AND FORT MONROE.
STEAMER GEORGE LgARY."


On and after Monday, Sept. 13, 1887, the
"LEARY' will leave Prince street wharf on
MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS aud FRIDAYS At
600 p. n.
Returning, LEAVE NORFOLK EVERY TUES.
DAY, THURSDAY and SUNDAY, at o.
Exclusive connection with Boston and Provi-
dence steamers. Connect also with Old Dominion
steamers for New York, steamers Ariel and Old
Point at Fortress Monroe for Richmond and land-
ings on James river, and with ell other rail AID
steamboat lines at Norfolk and Fort Monroe.
Fer other information apply to
PHILIP &. HO0E,
seplI If Agt. Prince Street Wharf
INLAND AND sEABoARD rs.
L COASTING COMPANY. ..EE7cssls & ~ 81,
GREATLY REDUCED RATES.
FOE FORTRESS MONROE AND NORFOLK
DIRECT mo Stops
Tic steamer LADY OF THE LAKE will
leave her wharf EVERY TUESDAY. THURS (
DAY and SATURDAY st o'clock p. m.
Fare, first.class, $1.50; round trip, $3.50
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1887-10-13
DR.. HORIZONS MIAsA1A ANTIDoTE.

ENAMELED KETTLES of all sizes, Apple ami
ia Peach Parers, Enterprise and other Meat Cut
ters for sale cheap at 32S King corner of Royal 81
sepS ]. T. CREIGHTON s. SON.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
What Kept Lincoln Awake

During the darkest days of the war there
was a squahble in Syracuse over the appoint
ment of a postmaster. Two factions had can
didates, and each had sent to Washington
numerouslv signed petitions for the appoint
men: Of its favoritc Finally, 10 get the
matter settled, delegation composed Of the
wealthicSt men of the town and several OF
the most prominent ministers and lawyers,
headed by Gen. Leavenworth, visited the ma
tional capital and secured an audience with
President Lincoln. Gen. Leavenworth had
carefully prepared his speech to MIR. Lincoln,
and il ran something like this:
"MR. PRESIDENT: 1t is with great reluct-
ance that we in,rude upon yon this morning.
We appreciate the awful responsibilities and
perplexities Of your position, and do not for
get that the very life of the nation is in your
hands But, Mr. President. the people of the
great loyal north are at your back, and they
are prayinC, sir, that your life may be spared
and that YOU may be given strength to carry
this war through 10 a successful issue
Mr. Lincoln listened 10 Gen Leavenworth
with some impatiencc until he reached this
point. and then interrupted him with:
Il assure yor, my dear sir, that it isn't the
war or the arms that is worrying the life out
Of me: il is that Syracuse poStot1ice that Is
kecpinS me awake nj. ATS
Gen. Leavenworth did not finish his speech.
The delegation presented their case in the
briefest manner. and felt more comfortable
| when they reached Pennsylvania avenue than
they did in the presence Of the president. -
rhiladClnliS Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

A Calcutta paper calls attention to a
remarkable decline in the popularity of
the great Rath Jattra or Car festival at
the Juggernaut temple in Orissa. That
the number Of visitors this year should
show large decrease might have been
expected. owing to the recent loss of two
pilgrim steamers and to the common be-
lief that the loss of the third had been
predicted. 1t appears, however, that
although the falling off is more marked
this year, it has been going on steadily
for some years past. The religious en-
thusiasm of the crowd is said To be also
disappearing. There is no longer Il wild
rush for the car, in which the idol is
dragged from the temple TO country
house and back again, and on several &C.
ca ions it has been necessary to mrc
coolies to perform the work.-New York
SIM
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
The Lime Kiln Club.

NV aftenshun- said Brother Gardner. as
he carefully pulled down his vest, has bin
directed to de foIlerin' article in n Chicago
paper:
'Skippcd-Tie treasurer Of the cele-
brated Limo Kiln club at Detroit has changed
his postal address to Canada He took over
5000 with him and il is said the club Is
badly broken up. Let Us have some phil
osophv from Brother Gardner on the subject
of official honesty
How dat report got abroad doan KNOW"
continued the old man, but it was made
outer hull cloth, we all know. Oar sots
our respected treasurer in his usual seat an
de funds of de club ar safe IN bank. Human
| foresight an human hiadSight her DER weak
pints. an de day may possibly come when
some sich item NAV he true in part. may
| take de liberty OF briefly eXplainin II de
meetin' fur de benefit Of any suspishus mem
DER de niodus operandi on which de tinanshui
system of dis club am conducted.
"FuStly-All dc moneys received fur dues,
payment of fines, etc, ar counted three
times ober by de three members of the finance
committee. By dat time de figures are
k'rect, an all d, bogus pieces sorted ont to
send to de furrein heather. De sum ar en-
tered on three separate cash books, an each
member must check up de entry made by de
oider.
.Secondly-De cash ar den passed o5er 10
Sir Isaac Walpole, Waydown Bebee, Elder
Spooner an myself We recount it an enter
it on four mo- cash books.
"Thirlly-It den goes To de treasurer. who
counts it again. makes anodder entry an dc
FIVE of us purceoi TO de bank an deposit 1t.
On de way down We keep a clus watch on
each odder.
.Fourthly-Nota n cent kin be drawed frum
de bank widout issue de check an 70 odder
pussons sign it.
"Fifthly-When de treasurer Of dis club 81
fur forgits hisself to absorb 5000 Of ouI
money an cross de ribbcr it will he a cold
tlay-cold 'nuff for two undershirts. 1t can't
be dun, chen if he wantel to git his name uI
an run fur some fat oils
"Sixthly-As to any remarks on de subjick
Of offishus dishonesty, our fcelinS ar purity
generally known. 1t ar mighty few honest
men who run fur any offs whar' dar' am d
chance to steal. 1t ar mighty few whc
could git offs if dey wanted it. Candydate'
fur fat oflises, in desc days ar selected by
various rings. Each ring wants a man il
kin handle. Each ring gifts dar. De fitnes
Of n candydate as to honesty has no tearin
on de case II he doan' turn out a thief oI
an e,nbezzier befo' his term ar up ali peopl,
ar surprised If he does turn out, de public
holds its bref to find out how many other:
ar guilty as well. fur 1t understands dat HI
mas not profited alone. When de honest Iner
Of dis kentry riz up an insist wild deir bal
lots dat only respectable men shall hold offs
de great highway to Canada will he gras
grown Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

The descendants of Chief Justice John
Marshall are sturdy race. One Of them,
bearing the great jurist's name, owns farm
in Virginia and runs a saw mill thereon He
got down in the buzz saw pit not along ago
to fix loose screw. Suddenly he felt some
thing moving behind him, and he threw his
arm up and felt the saw cut right through
about the elbow, almos. from skin TO skin
Raising his head he struck the saw, which
cut groove right through his hair, over his
forehead. and face and down into his throat.
When he was taken out his face was one mass
of bleeding flesh They laid him on the grass
and brought surgeon. While the latter
was running across the fields to the spot
where the men had left Marshall he heard
his voice saving. as well as his wounds would
permit: ..Shove this stuff away from my
eve SO that can see whether it's hurt They
did ''shove the STUFF away from his eye as
carefully as possible, and he gave them one
ghastly glance and then murmured: Its all
right: l can see IL took the surgeon an
hour and half to dress all his wounds He
endured the pain with perfect composure.
Within a month he was out again rs well as
ever. Some one was telling one of the old
darkies on the place, while "Marster John
was still in bed what narrow escape he had
had from death "Huh.' said the darky.
take heap more than that to kill Marse
John. Why, if you waited to kill Marse
John you'd have to cut his head ofr-and
then hide the head. Chicago Herald.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

The following was perT'ctrated by a judge
Of one of our higher local courts, now off the
bench, but whose identity will be instantly
discovered by Elany lawyers without men
t;oning his name On the first Monday of a
term many jurors Were as usual in line before
him to present reasons for being excused
from service. Among them was very
dirty. unkempt, shaggy bearded man, who,
despite the efforts of the attendants to re-
strain him, insisted on advancing to the
judges desk and speaking privately with him.
The judge. noticing his importunitv, signi-
Ged his willingness 10 allow the talesman to
npproach and then said 10 him somewhat
sternly: We'll. sir, what is it," The man
leaned over the bench until his lips almost
touched the judges ear, and then whispered
1--WE got the itch The crowded court room
was watching the result with curiosity. 'Mr.
Clerk" said the judge instantly, without The
slightest change Of expression. and in voice
painfully loud and distinct: MIR. Clerk,
he's got the itch. Scratch him. New YorS
Tribune
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

The Right Hon. Joseph Chamberlain is one
of the most peculiar of the thousands Of pc
cllliar folks who have feasted at Delmonicos
great dining hall. He sat through the long
dinner of tine chamber Of commerce on Tues
day night and listened to the flow of oratory
and not the fainteSt indication Of smile or
even interest fitted across his clear cut feat
ures. Secretary Fairchild tried to engage
him in conversation, and Mr.. Depew, his
next neighbor, seemed disposed to make
things pleasant for the stranger. Mr.. Cham
berlain, with his gold trimmed monocle stuck
in his right eye, would show momentary in
terest in the courtesy Of his two neighboIs
and relapse into his frozen state. He glared
straight ahead like a soidier on dress parade.
He spoke. of course, -, an English, yer
~" accent, and in his speech OF 2,0OO
worGs only two forlorn and unprotected
periods were accommodated with standing
,oom. 1t was u speech Of conmas.-New
York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

1t WIS on one of the ferryboats the other
day. An old man. who seemed TO have some
trouble with his foot, pulled Off his shoe in
the presence Of two scores Of passengers.
rubbed his heel for n moment rs he looked
around, and then hobbling over to n mother
ly looking woman he asked:
"Ma'am, will you oblige me with the loan
of rair of pincers for few seconds"
'Pincersf' she gasped.
'Yes'm-want 'em to pull a peg out Of my
shoe. If YOU have a tack hammer, perhaps
can drive the internal thing in"
"Why, my soul! but l haven't anything
Of the sort,'
Haven't you! Well. it's all right, and You
needn't feel bad about 1t. We are all careless
critters, and l often come away from the
house and forget my milestone, wagon jack
or gimlet. No excuses, ma'am-it's all right
all right Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
Erroneous.

SIS that you, Charley"
1t was a beautiful night and the soft rays
of the moon fell about the fair form of the
speaker like benediction.
The young man had come quietly from the
gate and the slight noise he made in ascend
ing the steps attracted the girls attention.
..Grcat heavens" he muttered to himself,
show love that maiden
is that you, Charley she repeated, in a
low, sweet tone; "rm so glad you came
Draw a chair from the parlor; it is lovely
here in tho moonlight"
But. alas it wasn't Charley, il was George
and the cold wind whistled through hi:
whiskers.-Life.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

mention any defects, and yet l shall try to
avoid hurting the authors feelings. want
TO score the oI.eretta with a merciless hand,
and Yet do not wish to give myself needless
pain.
The operetta itself is called The Singed
Cat,r because it is really SO much better than
it seems To be- The music was composed
partly by myself and partly by count who
PLAYS on the ferryboats in summer and has
his winters to himself. He does not wish to
have his name used, because, as he says, he is
afraid that foreign powers Will get on TO 1t
and make him come back to attend TO the
count business again" He says IT is very
disagreeable to be a count and live On a long,
slim pedigree and what the neighbors bring
In from time to time.
The orchestra opens the performance with
a selection fram the "Flying Dutchman."
Difficult as it may appear, the orchestra
makes good selection from this gentleman.
and it is PLAYED well after everything is
ready 1t takes some little time for an
orchestra TO get ready, however. The man
who bites Oh the first JOINT Of the clarionet
hreathes few liquid notes, the first violin
sounds "A" and the gentleman with the has
soon looks up into its dark recesses TO see il
any CAYENNE or kittens have been deposited
there since he played last, The supcrin'end-
ent Of the large violin stands it upon end and
feels of its staccato. He then chalks h 5 bow
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

The las. time l heard him lecture, after
having got rid of his hands, he stood before
the house rs stiff and silent as an unopened
oyster. The audience was as still as he
After a long pause, during which every one
WAS painfully wondering what allied him, be
said HIM and Immediately relapsed into
silence \ full minute went by during
which he remained perfectly quiet with his
eyes staring straight before him. Then he
said HIM" again. At last, some one started
Il little ripple of applause. Mark looked up.
radiant with smiles Thank you" he said 4.
81 was waiting for ytp to besin!"-New
York Tribune.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

The pop weed is 4 Dakota curiosity.
Its stalk is like that Of cabbage. with a
large, round top, the size and color Of Il
Hubbard squash. The ''northwesters
in the fall blow the pop balls off the
stalks and roll them for miles over the
prairies til they reach uneven country.
where they pile up like snowbanks and
serve buffalo herds as shelter from the
winter billiards. \ pop ball which
meets any hard object explodes with a
tremendous report and sends about
thousands Of fine. needle like seeds in
every direction. Philadelphia Call.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
STORES .6OuJ MGS.
he Wanted to Bay n Jeusharp from
Elatt Evans.

Cal Thomas, who always has a good story to
tell, has this one on Platt Evans, a suffering
joker, who was one Of the early pioneers Of
Cincinnati: In early days says Cal, 1t
used to lie thought capital fun to send a
countryman from store to store inquiring for
the things he would lie certain not 10 find at
the places 10 which lie vas sent. one day q
fellow came. as he had been directed, to
Platt's store to buy jeVsharp. Plat WAS a
merchant tailor He was busy with a customer
as the man appeared, but, observing that sew
eral of the boys had dropped in at the door
just to See what Platt would do, he caught
on at once, and responded TO the inquiry for
the musical instrument. 'W-w-wait a min
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
Returning Letters Was All Nonsense.

Returning Letters Was All Nonsense.
A Somerset business man not long since
had occasion to write to a gentleman wht
evidently had few correspondents. The en-
velope had the usual Return in ten days tc
=, Somerset, KY" on it. In about ten
days the letter came back to him, accom-
panied by n scrawling note, the writer say
ing that he had returned the letter according
to the request on the envelope, though h,
didn't see why he was SO all fired particular
about having it sent back -'-Somerset Cky.
Repulstan
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
..BOonS THAT HAVE HELPED US.


Among the books that help us all
Along lifes dreary track,
In summer winter. spring amt fall.
None beats the Almanac. -aaita.
OF past events II serves us with -
record, full, complete.
In sentences full Of pith -
As eggs are full of meat. ..s5.y-s, =
Its weather prophecies are true,
Or nearly If not quite,
And knock the Signal Service Bu-
Reau's higher tnan n kite. -.
From day to day with confidence
We to its pages 90,
To find s-clear-mild-cold cold-intense-
High-wind, k-out-for-
But better far than heat or cold,
Snow, hail rain. thunder showers
II gives us JOKES that Adam told -
To Eve in Eden's bowers. t<9SA
The jeu d'esrrit that mirth provokes-
For which the babies cry, L.
The old. the dear familiar jokes, Sc -
The jokes that never die. .-s9S
Among the books that help us all 2
Along life's drCary track,
In summer. winter. spring and fall,
None beats the Almanac Boston Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

which develops into duoiecimo run He IS
accompanied by a running mate, consisting
Of a flute with large red Inustache over tho
main entrance
The Singed Cat" viii he produced at the
Pol. grounds early in January. Let ther'
b. full houSc-Bill Nye il New York
World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

Proprietor Great Eastern Daily>-Have
you been 10 the magistrate to swear TO our
circulation to-day!
Business ManaSer-No, there is plenty OF
time.
"Well, if you're not busy go down to the
press room and as soon rs the edition is run
OFF bring the papers up stairs and I'll help
YOU fold them. Omaha World.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

Il can raise spirits" s,id long-haired
medium. "Thash's all right" exclaimed a
drunken fellow in the audierce. You
raish 'em an I'll put 'em dow :"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

HAVE just re-
turned from a pri
vate rehearsal Of a
ne w operetta of
which l am the
author, and hasten
to write a fair, hon
est criticism of it
for the press. In
this criticism l
shall try to be per-
fectIy frank to
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

l>lstl U ] u u- hc
thinks of the first
verse while the pic
colo makes a few
.desultory remarks,
and then he cy-
plains how he could
not get there when
he agreed to be
cause the jury dis
agreed, or some
thing Of that kind.
He swallows an i'm
aginary clam with
the shell on it, and
begins in a low,
,.n.,a -nnn Il a l,v
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

the cry Of a wounded clay pigeon, and gradu-
ally scars upward, like the price of coal, and
ends with some artistic gargling which sus-
gests a warble in the upper register
As she gets more confidence In herself she
becomes more irritated because Felix did not
get there at the samr time he said he would.
The prima donna Of the ''Sinsed Cat" las
Q pleasant voice, full of timbre and fine allie
gro movement bordering on the andante
Mr. Riley. who has beard Ler, says that when
she pulls out the last joint on her crescendo
and opens her upper register, her mouth
looks not unlike n stab in the dark. She
sings with the whole arm movement, and her
action is good as she goes by the judges
stand She has a selection in the second
act called "Back to. Our Mountains in
which she starts off with Il ritard in
which she enits n chest note which tests
the acoustics Of the hall, that she is
tickled to get back TO her mountains such as
they are, and is pleased with the altitude.
She has assisted in The Damnation "f
Faust but otherwise her conduct has heen
good. She is a widow, her husband being
deceased He was listening to the song of n
buzz saw near saltwater, MINI. in 1873, and
got an idea that the saw had something cou-
fidential To communicate and desired 30 take
him apart for that purpose. Anyway, he
was in that condition when they found him
For that reason her music is frequently tear
full and often solfeCgio ~ spots. Her roper
toire is very large and*has lid On it. Tn.
only criticism that feel warranted in max
ing, and hate TO do that, is thot she has
slightly rupturei her vpics by trying several
years ago to sing n duet with herself and
thus draw two salaries.
When the applause has died away Felix
comes in with a baritone voice and dimil-
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17
Dill NYs As A PLAYWRIGHT.

he Describes = New Opera Of Which He
Is the Author.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

Brain workers should never be without
the great brain invigoratOr, Vinegar Bitters.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

"BbIe Gallery" Dantes "Purqatory and Paradise" ;"
Sword and Scmetar the Romance Of the Crusades by
Alfred TrumbIe; Millions Paradise Lost;' Danes " In
| Dore
"IdyIs and PastoraIs, by Celia Thaxter, a home GAL
ery of Poetry and Art
"Herones ofthe Poes dr. wings by Fernand Lyngren;
this is a collection of magnificent etchngs.
"Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter." with illustrations by
IT, o. C. D arey.
Sir Walter Scotts 1.-The Bridal of Triarman, illus.
trated by Percy Macquoid.
"One Years Sketch Book" ma ures HaIeIujah' and
"A Bunch of violets," by Irene E. Jerome.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-12-17

THE Modern School Of Art"
'Shakspeare's Scenes and Characters illustrated by
THIRTY STEEL PLATES.
Treasures Of Art and Song' and Tennyson's "Enoch
Arden bound in Japanese stamped leather and handsomely
illustrated.
"Romeo and Juliet" with twelve illustrations, by Dick
see, A. r. A., reproduced in Photogravure.
Tennyson, longfeIow, Whittier, Mrs. Browning and
Merediths Lucille, in handsome seal bindings Poets
works in plush and bamboo bindings something nice
and novel, Come and inspect line; it is well worth
ing you don't want Books we have many other useful
and decorative goods which will be glad to show YOU
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-11-13
Hear, Hear!

The hoodIum element that congre-
gates nightly in and around the Sal
yation Army's headquarters. should
be learned lesson. No matter if the
"Army's" religion is of the burlesque
kind. They, as long s they break no
law, are deserving protection. and
when the hoodlums of the town nightly
gather in the hall, and congregatc
around the door. expressly for the pur-
poe CT disturbing the peace OF the
SalvationisJs. they should be strenously
dealt with. There is no other religious
de omination in the town where they
would be allowed to act as they do at
the barracks. " They would be very
suddenly landed in the ca'aboose, unless
they desisted from their deviltry. Let's
see no unjust discrimination against
any religion that confines itself within
the law, no matter whether it is Nor
mon, Jew, Gentle or Salvationist.-
american.
Amen,