Bismarck weekly tribune., 1887-02-04
LIGHTS AND sHADoWs

VOL luOTtSdSc, &uU IOE canoeing ClatLol
mortgages ten cents each. -
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS
MR.. JONES MUST EXPLAIN. ii
The story comes from the house at which
Representatives Jones boards land it is
told by the TRIBUNE with the utmost re-
gard for the cultured chairman of the COM
mittee on Indian affairs) that he recently
left the table with his large white napkin
clinging to the bosom of his vest, into which
he has it artistieally tucked while he eats.
At first the landlady was silent, and
through modesty permitted Mr.. Jones to 60
into the parlor, where a number of ladies
and gentlemen were enjoying social chat.
With that nonchalance and grace which
characterizes him in all the walks of life,
the genial chairman took seat in the CEN
ter of the parlor and peruSed the letters
which he had received from Black Thun-
der and The-Man-That- Takes-a- B Bath-in-
the-Spring- g-tra-la, nodding and smiling
as the sentences pleased or surprised him.
The ladies in the parlor gazed at the large
white napkin on his breast, and one OF
them asked in whisper If he was a Mason.
Another said she didn't think ne was, as
he wore his apron too high. But none
dared speak of the matter to the popular
sOlon for fear Of exposing an ignorance of
some modern style in Legislative dress.
Having read his letters, Mr.. Jones arose
and, bowling divinely to the la
dies, left the room, and taking his
overcoat on his arm started for
the capitol. The landlady had noticed
him closely. and as he passed through the
gate She called him back and asked him If
he would leave the napkin in the house.
Discovering the mistake and vainly at
tempting to make graceful apology, Mr..
Jones removed the napkin and returned it
to the owner. The landlady returned to
the dining room and asked lmpatently of
Mr.. Roger:
"Does Mr.. Jones belong to this combina-
ton that hear so much about"'
Yes, but why do you ask?'
"Well, that accounts for it then. I have
heard that the combination would take any
thing tt could get its hands on, but didn't
the table to prevent their being carried
away"
A GOOD MEASURE.
Il understand you are newspaper
man?'
eyes"
"Here's cigar for you. Now [confden-
tially], want to request you not to speak
of my presence in Bismarck"
"Why?"
"Well, s-h-s-h; [whispering] Here, put
this cigar in your pocket. Don't say any
thing about me being here"
ence in the city?''
"S-h-sh-sh; l have measure before the
legislature, and if it is p ublished it will be
This is verbatim report Of a conversa-
tion held in the capitol yesterday, and is
published as proof of the virtue Of the bill,
the nature of which the confidential lob
byist refused to give.
AT LAST.
At last it is known why Tom Elliott, the
eloquent gentleman from Ransom, has
never been married. Yesterday. in voting
on the bill for the repeal Of the usury law,
he arose and said: "In voting upon this
question 1 desire to make this explanation:
will vote no, although I think the bill
ought to pass" The laughter haviag ceased,
gentleman in the lobby said that this para
dOxical trait in Toms character is the
reason he has never been married. 1t is
said that when young lady gets on TOMS
trail, chases him down to the matrimonial
and says: "Well, now, it's just this way:
l will say no. but really think we ought
to be married." and thus it is that the
hopes Of many rosy. daughter Of Dakota
have been blasted and the genial solon is
still single man. Like Artemus Ward on
the Maine law, he is in favor of the law,
but opposed to its execution.