Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-09-30
She Wanthd a Neighbor.


into neighborhood in which we found
ourselves among strangers. We
had been informed by our land
lord. however, that we would
find the people ''sociable and
neighborly" in the vicinity of our new
home. This we found to be true, anc
we record our experience, that those
who read it may arm themselves with
shot-guns or other weapons of defense,
should they contemplate coming into
our neighborhood.
We hadn't unpacket our goods yet
when long. lank. sallow woman
climbed over the back fence and came
stumbling into the house without OBJ
serving the polite custom of first ring
ing the bell.
I'm Ms Sary Ann Beggs," she
said by way of formal introduction. Il
thought I'd come right in an git &C
qusinted fust OFF an let YOU know
l was willin' to neighbor with you.
Ii they's anything | do jes
natchelly love it's to neighbor
with folks, an liked your looks the
minnit seed you. | amt got a min
nit to stay; thought you might feel more
10 home if YOU had an introduce tC
some OF your neighbors an knowed
they was willing to neighbor with you.
I'm willin, to neighbor with anybody
that's decent. But | must hurry home.
just brung a ter-cup along thinkin'
mebbe | could borry it full OF COTE
I'm jest out an hadn't nobody TO send
for any. I'm short of sugar, too, an
if you could spare me tin cup full d
be bleeged to you. You see I'm jest
that neighborly come right in &c
borry of you fust thing"
NJ wife got the woman the things
she wanted and she cleared out after
saying for the nineteenth time that she
''callated on neighbour with us right
along" Before night she vaulted
tightly over the fence aud came in
again.
Here | am again. she said cheerily.
Thought mebbe you'd BE- lonesome
thout no one to neighbor with. |
iound myself short O tea for supper
an thought I'd run in an see how you
was gittin' on, an neighbor with you
some more. Ny flour bar played out
to-day, an / amt had time to 90 down
town an order another. so if you'll fill
this bag with flour I'll be 'bleeged.
Amt got any number 40 white thread,
have you? Yes? Well, I'd like &c
borry your spool; and if you'll jest
stick needle or two in with it I'd like
it. Amt got no bread baked, have
you? \ half loaf is all | need, and il
you could let me have the loan of but
ter enough to 60 with it it'd be 9
favor"
The meek little wife gave the neigh
Dor" all she wanted, and she struck a
bee line for home. We were eating
our supper when the lank female APP
peared again.
"My man wants to ncighbor with
you too. He's bout the size of youl
man. We're goin' to ball tonight
and ii you'd loan him some dancin'
boots and white vest he'd b, thank.
full. brung this cup for little salt;
and"
An old shotgun of mine was in {
corner picked it up and said coldly
and cruelty, and in dead earnest;
"You clear out! And don't you evei
come back while you live. We're moi
i'll the neghboring business at present
Avaunt!'
She avauntcd and the next day she
circulated report throughout the
town to the effect that she had caught
me whipping my wife; that | had beer
in State's PRISON; that | was half negro
that our children had been in the re
form school; that our furniture wa,
mortgaged that we were living under
an assumed name, and that rewar,
was offered for my arrest for bigamy
and highway robbery. -Zsnas Dane, IL
T11- RlfS