Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-03
BILL NYE TO HEN NYE.
NOW TO MAKE A COUNTRY PAPER
ACTUALLY RED HOT.

ES'SFS Vs. w.
A Editorial On shark Antony"-A
Proud Fathsr-A Question I'm Arithme-
si-The Pecuiiarities Of Buncombe
County Butter-corn Dodger.
AsHEvILLE, N. c.
Ny DEAR SoN-I wish you would please
change the address of MY paper to this
place, where your mother and l are now
staying. l got The Retina all right last
week, and see that you are going to en-
large IL, so l have sold my hay in order to
prepare for the event
What Is your idea for e~nlarging the
paper before the town enlargess OF
osurse l am no journalist, but have often
thought that II / had been doomed to
issue q paper like The Retina, and then
answer at the bar of Judgment for it, I
would not get a power press till the town
90 a good dark blue hook and ladder
company and a p~ostoffice.
like your editorial on ''Mark Antony"
FIRST rate l a imagine how excited the
people Of your town were when they saw
The Retina Saturday morning and read
what your estimate Of Mark was. 3
! wish you would incidentally pick up a
few Others of those old people and weigh
them. That is one Of the Injuries Of run
ming paper yourself. You can speak right
out and walk all over these people. /
would like TO hear what your honest con-
victions are in regard to Diogenes. 1t
would be worth almost what l have put
into your paper as a silent partner.
A PROUD OH PAPA.
You can have no idea, Henry, how IL
swells me up with pride and lofty disdain
to know that while l am sleeping calmly
under my roof tree, as l heard q man call
1t once, You are showing up those old
frauds like Julius Caesar and Hamlet and
Portcullis and Andronicus and Mrs. Poti-
phar and other people who have become
historical.
= That was my idea when I sent You away
to that female seminary, or whatever it
was. where you went 10 get educated. /
wanted you TO come ont with q whole lot
Of thoughts that showed right on their
face that they were expensive. / wanted
You to be able TO tell down at the store how
much A, b and G would each have to
grind of a circular grindstone four feet
three and one-halt inches In diameter,
with a square hole in the center three and
one-fourth inches each way, provided A
pays one-sixth Of the price Of the stone, b
one-half, and c the balance, with the
understanding that c shall use 8 per cent.
more than his share, provided he will turn
the grindstone. i wanted you to be able
10 talk with foreigners in their native
tongue the darkest night that ever blew.
I desired that you might become a man
who could walk mp to an Italian as he
plays his organ voluntary beneath your
easement and tell him in his own musical
alarm clock language what you think Of
him.
So it pleases me to know that you are
printing a paper now, so you can show of
10 advantage what / have invested in you.
BUycoMpE COUNTY BUTTER.
After a while / want to write a little ar
tiele for your paper, not so much for the
purpose OF saying anything, but in order
to show the contrast between the polished
work Of q well educated, smart young
man and the crude efforts of q plain man
who Is entirely untitled for everything ex-
cept paternal purposes.
We are having a good time here in the
south, enjoying the climate and making
experiments with the butter which is pro-
duced here. Butter made in the fast
nesses of the hills in Buncombe county Ia
mostly Of a pale pearl gray, with a pin
stripe in IL Of ultramarine. This does not
look badly, and 1t sets of a hoecake first
rate. This butter is not eaten by the
people who manufacture il. They are
poor sometimes, and have to eat most any
thing that will sustain life, but they draw
the line at this butter.
went out into the brush last week to
buy q load Of wood, and / took tea with a
gentleman who lives in an open face cot
tage on the other side OF the mountains.
/ then discovered that these people do not
eat their own butter. i did not notice any
butter, but they had gravy as a substitute
for 1t. Corn dodger in and OF itself will
not melt in the mouth, SO ] looked around
for q means Of lubricating my own. At
that time the warm hearted and hospita-
HE host made the following remark:
<.Stranger, You mustn't DE squeamish.
Just waller yer dorgeri in the dope. That's
the way we do"
then proceeded to waller.-Bm Nye in
Chicago News.