The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1887-01-28
HE GETS EXPERIENCE.

Tobogganing is kind of sport that
will do well enough for young people,
but the recent experience of o gray
haired sire in st. Paul takes the poetry
all out of slides for We old folks. Here
is what Dispatch reporter pumped out
of an old man who went tobogganing;
and his experience should prove
warning to others:
Some one suggested that take ride
on a toboggan. Never having taken
one, determined to follow the sugge-
ton. / even gained the good will of
some small boys who offered to take
me down. The young fiends said
they would give me the seat of honor in
front. Ascending the steep incline l
fixed myself firmly on the cushion, and
placed my feet against the two upright
pieces across the chute to hold the to-
boggan until all were ready to start.
Lift ND your feet boss, we're ready"
was yelled from behind. Thowing my
legs over the front of the tobogan we
started. Away we went with 'whiZ,'
down, down, it seemed as if we were
going to reach the realms of darkness.
Talk about your limited express, it was
no where with that tobogans We flew,
we danced, We jumped from one sdie to
the other. Sensations like electrical
currents rushed up and down my spinal
column like lightning. IL seemed as If
Satan and his minions were leading US
to destruction. When / reached the
bottom of that chute my breath had en-
tirely left me. l was weak as a babe.
Just as we reached the ground part Of
the side we ran against the side of the
cutter with such force that it jolted me
clear off the toboggan. rolled over into
the next chute in time to catch the to-
boggan sailing down. tried to get out
of the way but too late. It struck me in
the small of the back, and lifted its
prov heavenward as If to sail over the
fleshy billow; but when it reached the
crest of that human wave it turned half
round and with SILVER was total
wreck. It's occupants were dumped I'M
tremendously into three chutes. Be-
fore we could clear ourselves from the
debris, three more came rushing down.
They struck fore and aft. Ii was the
greatest combination of colors yet seen
at the carnival. For moment il re-
sembled the many colored shooting
stars at the storming. Toboggan suits OF
all descriptions intermingled with skirts
aIlu uOblOTy Vi Ill tllc nuCb Vi thO idiii-
bow. 1t was sight to behold-through
glass darkly. 7Where's that idiot,
that didn't have sense enough to hold
on to toboggan?" "Run him off the
grounds" Lets hang the brute" Men
and women, boys and girls, ladies and
gentlemen, lend me your ears. just
send some one of any kind of a vehicle
to carry off my remains, and will new
ca, no never, interfere with your sports
again. My back is broken, my shins
are barked, my head, well I haven't
any head, I lost that when ] made such Q
COMPOUNDED ass of myself in thinking /
was boy again. If any Of you are
wounded send me the doctor bill. 1t is
my first ride and If God spares me to
live as old as Noah 1t will be my last. =
| managed to get home-just how !
don't know--and ! am now. covered
with lotion soaked bandages, from the
end of my toes to the hair or my head. !"
You old fools who imagine you are
young enough to JOIN in the sports of
youth take the advice of an ass in his
dotage, and never straddle q tobogaan.