davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13
HUMOROUS.

No wonder they say the Yankees
exaggeratc. We know of enc who
complained to his butcher tha. the las
piece of steak sent him was 80 tough
that his mother could not chew tho
gravy.-Boston Globe.
Boston BABY - Mamma. dear.
that gentleman with the long mustache
must be from the West" Mamma
"Why. pet?" Boston Baby-.He is
SD rude. He tiskled me withsut being
introduced. L0wn Topics.
-Pat-'.Moike. tn tells meas yez
have quit womukin' in thA powder
factory. Was it too dangerous?''
Mike-''Dangerous? Well. be COB!
behave if l had worruked there till now
I'D ben dead a.year ago" Life.
An Indian Souvenir
When Lo che Brave. in daubs Of paint
Most grimly doth appear,
He may be said TO give US thea
A little S,o1x-veneer.
-7eras SJiing&
"A conductor on an austin street
car said 'fars' to a negress who was
blacker than the ace of spades, and
the smile she.sEOle caused her head to
appear rs if il had been cut off except
q small strip.at the back of the neck.
TEXAS Siflfngs.
MIR. Pu9er (who has recently
''struck it zish' -"Pete, 1 am going 10
get You n soachman's Ivery;. what do
you think Of that?" Pete (who has been
''hired man. for years)-"YeA sab. I
would like it very much. sab. It would
distinguish me from de rest If de fam
bly,, sah"-LJe.
Mrs Doodle Ito salesman in nm
derwe>r Department. -"Hare YOU .nv
gauze ladies' vests?" Salesman with
ten-doalar smile)-..No. madam. but
We have ladies' gauze vests>'' ..Keeu
'em. thenr' she answered snappishlv.
as she bolted for the door, and s,nce
his discharge the salesman has decided
not TO try to sell dry goods and edu.
cate the human race at the same tima.
Sport. f4I fs,
An elderly gentleman named Page
annoyed . young lady by paying her
devoted attention Finding her glove
one day, he returned Il to her with tia
following lines:
nom your Glove you take the letter q.
Your glove u love which devote to thea..s
10 this 10 received the following mn
expected answer. which took al TIA
conceit out Of him:
Il nom your page you take TIA lstAerp.
xoes Peg y age. md that woa't DO for naS
IN + Ledger
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.


John B. McLean's fortune is esti-
mated at from IS. OO0. OO0 to IS. COO 0o0
Princess Beatrice is spiritualis&
and she says she doesn't care who
knows it
1t has been some time since III
American public has heard any thing
about Louise Michel, the famous Paris
ian agitatOr. 1t seems she has been
devoting herself to literary work and
will soon publish a volume of poems
entitled LES Oceaniennes.
Mrs. Cleveland has recently
received the fieeces of two fine
full-blooded lambs descended from the
flock of Grandfather Folsom. and hav-
ing procured a pair Of cards" pro-
poses to card the wool with view of
having it spun into yarn and making
the President a pair of stockings with
her own fair hands.-Frank Leslie's.
Judge Felker has rust returned
fresh from trout-fshing tour. He
went out provided with TO end Of
tempting tackle. flies. and other para
phernalia. including a pair of wading
rubber boots about five feet long, He
went ''heeled for trout" When asked
what luck he had the judge repliesl:
I'll tell you my friend. trout are aw-
fully cheap in Denver at 81 !, bound"
-Denrer Neacs.
"A Gentleman once called on Henry
Ward Beecher for advice on a business
matter. Beecher told him he didn't
know anything about business. and
began TO pour out stream of witty
nonsense. The gentleman. somewhat
nettled. petulantly exclaimed: II do
wish you would talk little common
senser' ''But wouldn't that be talking
an unfair advantage of you?" meckly
suggested Beecher, with an irresistible
twinkle in his eyes.-M Y. Ledger.
Mrs. Kendall, the English actress
says she has been making $4,000 per
annum for some years. II began my
career" she says, eat three years of
age; now I am thirty-eight. l have
known bitter poverty and great
trouble; but that is in the past. AT
twenty was married to the best and
man in the world We
have nothing in this world that we
have not bought out of our own earn
ings. 1 never accept three-pence
worth from any one.''
-Mehemmed Bey. a handsome of
ficer in the Circassian guard of the
Sultan of Turkey, has recently been
to the SHttan's sister, The
lady fell in love will, the officer several
years ago. but as he was poor and I'M
the late Sultan would
not permit them to be married. Abdul
aamid- however, was persuaded to
permit the marriage, and MehemmeL.
having been made a pacha, was chosen
o represent the Padishah ut Queen
jubilee. -Bostos Transcript
The last volume of the '.BibliOthek
Ter Kirchenvater" Library of the,
'athers Of the Church) has just been
ompleted. This gigantic work, which.
ssventy-nine vols,mes. was \
egun in 1869. under the edstorship of
'rofs. Raithmayr. of Munich and Thai
Offer. of Eichstart. 1t contains the
wOskS of the Latin. Greek
I'd Syrian fathers of the Church, to-
ether with biographical com ,uen,aries
nd indexes. The general index is the
esult of eigh, years constant labor
n the part of Farther Uhl.--RiiladeI-
hid Press.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13
A Primary lesson in Politics.

1t is not to be supposed that the ma
jority of men are Intentionally unjust
TO women. They accept custom and
the force.of tradition. and leave women
at every disadvantage politically. with
put much thought about it They
need an object-lesson. What more OPP
perfume occasion for this than the Cen.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13

This is sad and bitter world. /"
remarked gentleman of Irish extrac-
ton. I'VE never strew flowers on q
mans grave until after he il dead -
WASHINGTON Ratchet.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13
-C;t;1en- .wh.f. the matter

-Citizen-"What's the matter Doc
lin q hurry?" Doctor-"I should
say 50! I've got more than can do"
Citizen-''Some epidemic?" Doctor
mo; people are getting back from
their sumner vacations. "-HaPer's
Raa0r. -4
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13

-s.How silver sweet sound lovers
tongues by night" Lemme be.
Gawge Washington Gusts. you're
mussin' my new bang."-M T Joas.
nal
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-13

The law Is given that we might Be
driven to the Gospel; the Gospel II
given that we may be enabled to obey
the law.-TAomas AdamA
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
A Museum of i;clicion.

Parisians, who, in these latter days. at
least, are not remarkable for the Depth Of
fervor of their religious feelings. ere
about to have museum of reli,,ion. The
founder of this remarkable and interest
ing Institution is II. Guimet. The
building is in the Graco-Roman style Ct
architecture, ard with its pillared rortti-
Goes, its rotunda, its columns, and is
caryatides, looks like an ancient tom. g.
1t is situated near the Irocadero, at Il cGr-
ner of the avenue Jena. The et.itt.ce
has been constructed after designs which
were taken from tho last rlosaics G:scov-
cred at Pompeii. The religions of Greece
and Rome arc most strongly represented,
and III the northern gallery is all atrium
which is to contain the altar of PAGAN
divinity copied from an original model.
In tho lateral galleries viii be exhibited
objects appertaining to the religions of
Egypt, India and China. In garden at
tached to the building there is to be
placed large conservatory and a pond
containing pl;.nts consecrated to religious
uses. Paris Cor. London Telegraph.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
BADLY SHAKEN UP.
The City of Rochester, N. Y, the
Scene os Numerous and
Frequent Explosions.
Several Immense Mills Destroyed and q
Largo Number OF Casualties
Reported.

ROCHESTER,, n. Y. Dec. 2a.-Just DO
fore $50 o'clock p. m. an explosion OF Ras.
took place at the Jefferson and Clinton
mills, on Mill street, immediately folloWt
in ghuge clouds OF smoke arose from half
a dozen points on Mil street and Platt
street, and flames burst from the win
dows of the Clinton mill The flames
soon spread to the Washington mills
which adjoins the Clinton, and before
anything could be donethe rear ofsWhits
ney & Whitney's mill was also in
flames While the flremen were laying
line of hose to the burning buildings
half dozen manholes, which had been
covered with ice and snow, blew upin
Mill street. Thousands who had
been attracted by the explosion, fed in
every direction, but wherever they went
they met with q repetition of the same
scene. The explosions continued at
reQuent intervals. BY $50 O'Clock
the fire was practically ssunder con-
troll as far as the mills We're concerned,
but the sewer mains. were sending up
columns of flame and frequent explo-
sions in the sewer continued to take
place The accidents were caused by the
fact that some workmen blasting In one
OF the streets had worked too near the
naptha pipe line, causing break in the
pipe, from which about 10, 900 gallons Of
naptha leaked out into the sewer.
The aggregate damage is hardLto, esti,
mate. The following individual losses
are known: Washington mill and con-
tents, $50, 900, insurance, $35, 90; Jeffer'
son mill and contents, $50, 900, insurance
$25, 900; Clinton mill and contents, $75,,
600, insurance, $50, 900. At this writing
(midnight) it is believed that four per-
sons are killed The injured will num-
Der at least twenty Most of them are
bruised and cut.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
END OF THE TRADE DOLLARS.

The Last 'Mclt' at the Assay Oflce.
Samples for Assaying-Bricks.
On a recent Friday afternoon the last
melt, OF the 3.495, 533 trade dollars
" ,;''l have been received at the United
S: ;.'si assay office in Wall street, since
o ;ct Of congress authorizing their pur-
TN u went into effect. was completed and
he. liMpid silver Was poured into the
nlclds and transformed into silver bricks,
t.i3a TO 200 ounces in weight. A ''melt'
of silver at the assay Office means 5000
ounces, Therefore, in oitcr to make way
with the whole numker of this 3. 500, 600
of trade dollars about 700 s'melts'' were
necessary. A reporter CHANGED to be
present and stood near the crucible when
these last representatives Of dead cur
rency slowly lost their individuality
and became shapeless glittering mass.
When the last rnielt' of the trade dol
lars had been poured into the molds and
made into brick, the reporter observed
that two small quantities, perhaps of
grain or two each, were pat into little re-
ceptacles and sent TO the assaying room.
These explained Assistant Assayer j.
T. Wilder, ''are the samples for assaying.
Two are taken from each melt. They
are each assayed by different persons and
their work must tally. If it does not. the
work is repeated. If the two assays still
fail to agree the whole melt is remelted
and fresh samples taken. Then the pro-
cess is gone through with again.
''The greatest care is taken, said Mr..
Wilder, ''to guard against inaccuracies.
The assaying is done by the Gay Lussac
method. The exact amount of metal is
weighed and dissolved in nitric acid.
Then enough chlorine is added to precip-
>itatc precisely q drachm of pure silver.
The solution is then shaken for three
minutes in shaking machine (run by
stcanl), after which it is allowed to set
tie More salt water is added, every
atom of which is taken account of. and
ii any silver remains in solution it shows
slight cleudiness. Tho operation is re-
peated until no cloudiness appears, show
ing that no silver remains in solution;
that it has all been precipitated. Then
= calculation is made as to the exact
fincneSs of the samples Of silver in the
trade dollar, which is corrected by silver
proofs. When the fncrcss il thoroughly
ascertaincd it is stam.cl Il, on tho bar or
brick which has bcc:i formed by the
melted dollars, together with the value,
weight, melt number and number of the
bar. Then the bar or brick is sent to the
Enclosure before mentioned, where the
other trade dollar bricks arc kept under
combination safe lock. The combina-
ton of this, as well as Of the other safe
locks in the building, is Known only to
Superintendent Mason end one o;llcr
trusted official. New York Tribune.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
THE NEWS IN PARAGRAPHS
interesting Items Briefly chronicfed
For Our Readers.

Red Cloud, the Sioux chief, lie to de-
liver lecture at Centralia, III.
Mr.. David Sheehy, Mp. has been SEN
fenced to three months imprisonment.at
hard labor. - e
An ineendiary fire destroyed an, entire
business block at Northwood, Iowa. Loss
about s30, 900. A1A I
The Western Steel works at ST. Louis,
will close Jan. 1. Seventeen hundred
men will be thrown out of employment.
The Rurafist, an agricultural paper
published at East Pierre, d. T., has been
made the oficisl organ of the Farmers
alliance in Dakota. 4ssss~s @ssss
Tho state veterin arian Of Nebraska,
has been instructed TO investigate anew
contaeious disease which has made its
appearance In d herd OF horses near
North Platte.
Judge Moody has gone 10 WaAhington
to work on the Sioux reservation and
Dakota statehood matters
The Grand Marais 81 yermilion Iron
and Land company, with q capital Of
goo, 900 was incorporated.
Railroad commissioning have requested
all the roadss to come down 10 fhe North
eFn Raciilc's rate on agricultural fnuple
ments. 3.
The governments experiments with
new processes OF extracting juice from
sugar cane, show q net gain Of 10 per
cent over the other process.
The annual report of the state .inspec-.
tor shows that 3,944, 800 barrels of salt
were inspected in Michigan during the
present year. There are 142 blocks and
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
SONG OF THE WHEEL.

Away from the Office and desk ct last
Tho business haunted room,
The roar of city, hurrying past,
Tho heat, the worry, the gloom,
To the glorious red Of tho sunset sky.
The swees, cold wine of tho air
On tho frozen road, my wheel and ],
dusty, rusty pairl
Push, push, two birds in bush
Are laughing TO see me hop;
On with q bound from the frozen ground,
With never a sway nor stop.
Over and over the pedals fly
'sComeon ~ to the twitterng bird cry,
Az over and over the wheels fly past her;
"a Over and over. still faster and faster
On through the ice cold stream of air,
On where the road Is frozen aud bare.
Observation-Disclosures
Silent and swift as q death freed soul.
Glide-glide-- ta
On the smooth, black tide
OF the ocean Of night flowing in from the west,
Over and over, and on without rest,
S,yifter and swifter, Tin over tie crest
OF the hill, and down to the valley below,
Through tho murk of the mist Gnd tie white Of
thesnow
Now my steed falters, as, brsathless and slow,
Up the steep hillside he labors and grinds,
sGrinds grinds- -griDds- grinds--
Across and across lie turns aud winds,
Sand clogged and rock hindered, without hope
or faith,
No longer soul. but sin hardened wrath
Till, reaching the summit, he spurns the dark
hill
And onward he plunges, for good or for i'll,
Over and onward, and onward and over,
He reels and he spins like q jolly old rover.
Observation-Disclosures
Backward he flies to our one dear goal,
Where the whrling shall cease, and the rider
shall rest,
And soft trembling lips to my own thall be
pressed.
-slow--slow,
Slowly-morc slowly--we 60
What, darling, so far on the road tonight,
To welcome MS both with your eyes, sweet light
The wheel no longer has need to roam
BE quiet, old fellow, we're safe, safe at home.
Willis BOYD Allen in Outing
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
ALIEN LAND LAWS.

,pesessv Amendment 30 Allow Foreign
Capital to Develop Territorial Mines.
WASHINGTON, Dee. 23.-There will
probably be an amendment passed to the
act preventing aliens acquiring real es-
tate in this country. Senator Mitchell
will propose an amendment allowing
aliens to hold real estate In the territories
and the District of Columbia, such prop
erty to be used only for mining precious
metals, and the residence of Legations,
provided that Cinnamon be not allowed
TO hold real estate for any purpose what
ever.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
THE BEEcHER MEMORIAL.

The Statue Fund Already Amounts to
@S1. Oo0---work ta BE Commenced.
BROOKLYN, Dec. A-The Beecher Me-
mortal committee announce that the
statue fund now amounts. to 81, 600.
Sculptor Ward has been instructed to
prepare q contract for the erection Of the
monument and to make immediate ar
rangements for its construction. 1t is
expected that it will be magnificent
piece of the scuIptor's art.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
want Pay for the Damages.

ROCHESTER, N. Y, Dec. 4-The city
authorities have decided TO sue the
Vacuum Oil company Of this city for
damages to sewers and other property
occasiened by the explosion Of naphtha
Wednesday. Several OF the lateral sew
ers are thought to- he ruined. 1t La
thought that the litigation will involve
over. $500, 900. A number of private
damage suits will also be commenced I'm
all probability.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
THEY SURRENDER.

Liquor Dealers I'm st. Paul Give I'm to the
High License Law.
ST. PAUL, Dec. 22.-The liquor license
In st. Paul will be 81 900 and all parties
concerned will acquiesce. The Colum-
bia association, which is composed OF
the saloon men of st. Paul held
another meeting Tuesday and the mat
ter was fully discussed. While all OF
them were willing to avoid the law If
possible, it was generally agreed taat it
would be useless to attempt it at the
present time. They will reserve their en-
erQies till the next election
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
viii Norauay Withdraw?

y WINNIPEG, Man, Dec. s23.--It is an
nounced positively that Norquay. owing
the charges made against him, has de-
cided to Withdraw from the premiership
for the present at least, allowing Harri-
son to take charge
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
SUBSTANTIAL PHILANTHROPY.

Governor Alger. OF Detroit, DISPENSE
alSO. 0Oo~ to- thes Faorsefs That City.
DETROIT, Mich. Dec. %. -To-day Gen.
r, A. Alger viii begin to dispense.
through his agents. charitable gifts to
the probable amount of Si50, 900, while
they may reach an even higher figure.
Last year he gave suits Of clothes to 500
newsbeys and sent -four and: coal to
scores Of homes Despite the fact that
the general was somewhat imposed on
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
IOWA SOLDIERS HOME

been accepted and thirty eight of them
are at present at the home, with sixty
four blanks out awaiting completion.
ssFrom one to three soldiers are report
ing at the home every day." said Com
mandant Smith.
The accompanying illustration gives
fair idea of the Iowa soldiers, home,
which stands upon 100 acre tract OF
land near this city. which was purchased
by subscriptions of citizens. A simple
Inscription on the corner stone denotes
the use for which the building Is de-
signed. 1t reads: 'Iowa forgets not the
defenders of the Union -
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
Turkev ralks war.

LONDON, Dec. pa Daily News spe-
cial from Constantinople says that the
porte has been notified that IL the ESQ.,,
600 due ON the war indemnity are not
promptly paid pledges will be taken in
Asia Minor. The government is short of
money, but still the sultan, in alarm
over the war rumors, thinks of calling
out 90, 600 men for Erzeroum and Bull
paria
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
sitee sor tha national Cum Factory

WASHINGTON, D. c., Dec. 26.-There
will probably be bitter contest in con-
gress over the selection of location of
the national gun factory. The chief Of
ordinance has reported that the factory
ought not to be erected at the Watervliet
arsenal, and recommends that Frankfort
arsenal, Philadelphia, be selected
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
Enranean Wn, Talk.

Letters from Moscow say number OF
Russian officers stationed there have been
ordered not to arrange for their usual
holiday.
Prince Ferdinand has summoned all
the generals of his staff to attend war
councils to be held in Sofia.
All vessels, pontoons and tugs belong
ing to the Austrian Navigation company
have been ordered from the lower Danube
to Turnseverin for the winter. Thisis an
unusual precaution.
It is semi officially stated that no COM
munications whatever Save been ex-
changed by the Austrian and Russian
governments concerning the present stu
alton in Bulgaria, nor has Russia made
any intimation regarding the movement
Of her troops on the frontier.
The Buffalo city government has been
presented with a $500 portrait of Presi-
dent Cleveland.
ton, with q capital Of $500 900, has been
organized at Duluth.
Minneapolis parties propose to erect at
Mankato duplicate disappearance of the
West hotel to cost 500, 900.
Montreal Snow Shoe club will be the
guests of the st. Georges Snow Shoe
club during the carnival at St Paul.
Superintendent Graham has notified
settlers ON the Jamestown & Northern
that that road may be closed part of the
winter.
The general offices of the various rail
ways will be closed Monday to give EN-
ployes chance to observe Christmas.
A passenger engine at Quincy, Ill,
jumped the track and pitched down an
embankment. The fireman was killed
A home for discharged convicts is to
be established in Detroit. Funds for the
enterprise have been obtained through
private subscription.
About dozen of the wholesale dealers
IN lard in New York have formed trust.
100 patients brought from
., there are 700 inmates
-vlunl.
a'-~ has been or
var.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28

then, he win this year repeat his CLIFTON
a. much larger scale. Nearly 1850 news
boys win be- given suits OF clothes, and
over 1000 families will be given ton of
coal and q barrel of flour. None who
win receive coal and -four know Of Gen.
Alger's. intentions, and the gifts viii
therefore come wholly as a surprise. The
distribution began Christmas, 100 fam
lilies being supplied directly from dealers.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
Canadian Pacific .steamers.

GLASGOW, Dec. A.-Three steel steam
ers of 5000 tons burden have been con-
tracted for by the Canadian Pacific Rail-
road company. The steamers will be
built at the Fairfield yard on the Clyde,
and will be used in the Canadian Pacific
company's Japanese service.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
An important Strike.

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 26.-The district
assembly of the Reading railway en-
ployes held meeting Saturday and after
much discussion of the trouble among
coal handlers ordered q strike on all the
company's lines. The order effects nearly
60 600 men. ---as..- 49,.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
FREEZING AND STARVING.

Terrible Suffering In Western Kansas
Caused by the Storm.
ST. LOUIS, Dec. 21.-The blizzard that
started in the West early Tuesday morn
ing continues in it's severity, Reports
from Leav- enworth, Kan. indicate much
suffering in the west from lack of fuel.
Farmers are burning corn, furniture and
parts Of their houses to Keep
from freezing.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
ANARCHY ISN'T ELoURISHlMG.

Monument to the Elevated Dead AbaDd-
oncd for Lack of contributions.
CHICAGO, Dec. 24.-The Central Labor
nnion has abandoned all idea of erecting
u monument to the anarchists. The fund
which was started for that purpose is
still less than 500, and there seems to be
no hope of raising larger amount. The
two committees are each claiming the
exclusive rights to provide for the de-
ceased anarchists families, and still at
swords points.
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
A aar;nne .ccidant On the Minnasote

A serious accident on the Minnesota &
Northwestern occurred near Melton, H.,
in which several persons were seriously
injured, two OF them fatally.
passenger train on the Chicago, Mil
waukee g. st. Paul was derailed at Cliff
ton junction, Wis, and baggageman
and express messenger seriously injured.
On account of the snow storm very Few
educators were present at the teachers
institute held at Huron, d. T., Wednes-
day.
w. S. Kingsley, county attorney OF
Bremen county, Iowa, was shot and killed
at Warsaw, Iowa, by lawyer whom he
had shot
Work was begun Wednesday on the
international bridge which is to span the
Rio Grande between Eagle Pass, Texas.
and Piedras Negras. Mexico.
A larger number of emigrauts than
Nefore at this season Of the year, are
through st. Paul destined to
.sota and Dakota
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28
Millions for Defen

deputies at Bucharest has sanctioned the
expenditure of $4,000, 600 in the pur-
chase of repeating rifles and of 81 ,000, 900
for forts,
Morris tribune., 1887-12-28

BROOKLYN, N. Y, Dec. 26.-There is
talk that Rev. Thomas X. Beecher, of
Elmira, viii be called to I'LL his brothers
place in Plymouth church.