The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1887-09-24
STORY OF A lAWN-MOWER.
Why Deacon sharpley Has to Hire Man
to Cut His Grass.

al tell you what" said suburban
friend of the Listener, as the street-car
conductor came around, bearing par
ticularly big and imposing bell-punch.
.'there's deacon in our church that
ought to be made to carry one of those
things when he makes his collections.
if ever any body ought to be made to
wear one"
why? What has the deacon done.'
"rll tell you the whole story, and
when I've done l want to know
whether. if it had occurred to you. it
wouldn't have decreased your conf
dence in somebody. You see, l live
next door to Deacon Sharpley,
and my yard is separated from
his just by light picket fence, l was
hacking away at the grass on my little
lawn the other night with grass-hook;
was just finishing the job, and Won
deriny whether should ever be rich
enough to swell out with a lawn
mower, when the deacon came out and
leaned over the fence. See here
said he, you're getting quite lawn
here, and SO am /. We don't either of
us have quite enough business for a
lawn-mower, but together we might
have. Say we go snucks on oneT l
told him l thought it was good idea,
and would go in with him on ma
chine. He said he would manage the
purchase, and would tell me how much
L IL IL. II -
and buy the lawn-mower and he
brought a reeeipted bill for $3.50 in
his own name. gave him the Sc. Is,
and left the machine and the receipt
in his hands.
about two weeks after that-Fd
seen the deacon showing the lawn
mower around in his yard in great
style in the meantime-I thought my
grass had got up enough to warrant
cutting. and Invent over to the deacon $
to get the machine. The deacon was
out, they said, but the lawn mower was
down at Mr.. Smiths. l thought it was
a little queer that the deacon had lent
our machine, but l went down to
Smiths and got it. | thought they
looked little cross when took it. but
took it just the same. and moved my
lawn. Next night the deacon came
and got it again, and moved away
while in his back yard. A few days
after that l thought it was about time
to NOW once more. and went over to
the deaeon's after the machine. No
machine anywhere around. / asked at
the back door:
"'Where's the lawn mowerp
"'Mr. Smith came and got it a little
while ago. said the deacon $ daughter
"Mr. Smith! What business had he
with our maehine?' | didn't ask, but
l trotted down to Smiths. | found
Smith very complacently oiling the
lawn mower, and apparently getting it
ready for action.
"'Well, said l. Il came over after
that lawn mower; but as you seem to
be getting ready to use it, / suppose |
| can wait
"'Hum, said he; Il guess the deacon
and | keep it pretty busy.
$3.50 it seems, says /, kind of sarcas-
tically.
"'Well, we have got to get our
moneys worth out of it, you know,
says he.
THAT struck me as mighty queer
remark, and couldn't help saying, Il
should think you'd want to own one
yourself
"'Well. says he, looking up little
surprised, i own half of this one.'
"You-you own half of MisF says l.,
astonished.
Why, certainly says he; Deacon
Sharpley and.I bought this lawn mower
together
81 tell you. that took me completely
down. The deacon had deliberately
| played us of, one against the other,
and had got me to pay for one-half the
machine. and Smith the other. calculat-
ing to get the use of it to NOV all his
own grass for nothing If he had been
as cautious as he was sharp. and kept
the machine in his own barn, or else
insis ed on going after it himself, sup
pose he might have kept going that
way. But since we've found it out,
Smith and | getalong hrst-rate, but the
deacon has to hire an Irishman to NOW
his grass with a scythe.
'And that's the reason why think
the deacon ought to carry bell-punch
when he takes up a collection. Don't
you think it would be a good scheme?"
L - RnsLo1l Tram ecs.ialf