Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1887-09-14
AN INSTRUCTIVE TALE.
Bob Burdette Tells the True Story
of Mr.. Grimalkin.

oOD DurOSoOo IcllS INC ITu9 SSOry
of Mr.. Grimalkin.
You children are too young to remcm.
Der Mr.. Grimalkin. He was q kind
hearted old gentleman who lived many
years ago, long before good Henry Bergh
was born. He was q man after Mr..
Bergh's own kind heart, too, and loved
children and animals alike, "because,'' u
said the kind-hearted old man, "children
are only animals.n And so they are, some
of them. Do you remember the two boys
whom we met last summer at Pickpocket
Mountain House? The boys who Tapped
their porridge like cats, smacked their
lips like pigs when they ate fruit, roared
like young bulls when they were sent to
bed, were stubborn as mules, mischievous
as monkeys and fought like dogs? Yes,
indeed, some children are like animals;
but, strange to say, while Mr.. Grimalkin
loved children and liked animals, he didn't
care for them when they were mixed up In
this way; he liked his children and ami
mails separate. Most people are that way.
Well, one summer, Mr.. Grimalkin was
boarding at the Maison Hashuerie, a
fashionable summer hotel, managed by
those famous seaside caterers, Messrs. Bone
& Gristle. He strolled about the pleasant
little village and saw the little children in
happy homes playing with their pets. Not
bad, street children, but good children in
christian homes. He saw the little boys
harness the dogs to wagons and drive
them till the poor dogs couldn't walk an
other step. No little boy who reads this
was ever so thoughtless as that, am sure
What's that? "You never did such a cruel
thing?" Then you never owned a dog,
that's all. And he saw the baby stuff the
kitten into slipper, and heard mamma
laugh and say, softly: "Oh, baby mustn't
do that" and then laugh again when the
baby took the kitten out and pulled its tail
out of joint for change. "You never
did that when you were a little baby" ell
Then your father was too poor to own a
cat, or else you were twelve years old when
you were born.
Well, Mr.. Grimalkin went around, MOTTO
ing how little children Just like you
played with their dumb pets, and how
grown people just like your papa and
mamma laughed at them, and it all made
the good man tired. Several times he
went TO the Office of the American Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
to call Mr.. Bergh's attention to the matter
but when he got there the Office was locked
and he saw a notice on the door, statine
that owing to circumstances over which
he had no control, Mr.. Bergh would not
be born until some ten years later, and
that in consequence of this the organiza-
tion of the society would be postponed un.
til Mr. Henry Bergh was of age. So Mr..
Grimalkin went back to tho village.
Sometimes he demonstrated with the chill
dren and their parents. "Oh," said NAM
ma, ''the baby isn't strong enough to hurt
the kitten."' And papa said: "Why, the
dog enjoys that play just as much as the
boys do" And poor Mr.. Grimalkin, when
he went to bed one night, sighed from his
very heart: "Oh, wish was a kitten for
O day."
And-now, you'll hardly believe this,
Pm afraid, but the next morning Mr..
Grimalkin woke and there was a little
brindlcd kitten in bed, but there was no
Mr.. Grimalkin. He looked all around for
himself. under the bed and in the hat box
and out in the hall, but he was nowhere to
be found.
"Well," said he, elf this doesn't beat the
Dutch, Pm goat"
That's what he thought he said. What
he really said was: ''Pfst! Miaouw
Mouw-wo-wow-rouwl Psti SPIT Maria ~
He climbed up on the dressing case,
licked his paws and washed his face and
went down to the dining room for break
fast. The head waiter picked him ur
and tossed him out Of the window into the
alley.
"This cat business" remarked Mr. Grim
akin, "isn't the fattest take on the hoob
by long chalk. However, it's all in the
sacred cause of reform. IN hunt up
baby with a coral necklace and blue shoes
and have some fun with him."
It's no trouble to find that kind of O
baby, and before long a boy found MIR
Grimalkin wandering around the street
and picked him up by the tail and carried
him home. oh, how mortified Dir. Grim
akin was TO be carried through the streets
in that undignifed way. They met ever
SO many of his acquaintances, too, Tho al
laughed and said: "Just look at that boy
how he carries that kitten; isn't it toe
funny!" And Mr.. Gri;nalkin was Just sur,
they recognized him. "Oh," he said, "il
ever l am a man again III kill that boy :,
Mr.. Grimalkin knew the boy very we'll; b,
was good boy who used TO come to Mr.
Grimalkin to tell him of some nausht,
bad boys who teased dumb animals Thi,
boy wrote very sweet letter about hi
dear little baby sister and her pet kitten t.
Orr Dumb ARimdls, but his letter cam,
back with very polite note from tn,
editor, stating that it was not available TO
the columns of their magazine, not be
cause it lacked merit, but rather be
cause the magazine would not be estab
Hshed for some twenty years yet 1t beat
Gny thing, the lodges and subterfuges ,
magazine editor will resort to rather thar
publish any thing that he didn't writ.
himself. Now, that was no excuse at all
becaGse-but digress.
When tie boy got home with Mr.
Grimalkin every body was delighted
"Oh," they said, "what lovely kitten
It's just the thing for baby May. Wher,
did you get it," And the boy said that
runaway horse was just tearing dowI
street and Mrs. Featherstoaehaugh'
nurse maid was crossing the street will
their baby and just stood still ant
screamed, and he rushed out and caught
up the baby and Mrs. Fsatherstonehaugt
gave him this kitten. She said it was
full blood Maltese. The boys father said
he was a son OF Malta, but he never saw O
trindIe Maltese cat with tail Ike rat
but his wifo said she hoped Mrs. Feather
stonehaugh knew what a Maltese cat was
when her grandfather was q brewer, and
that settled il, and the boy got a quarter
for being so brave.
Then the baby took Er. Grimalkin IN
hand and bit one of his ears for feeier
Mr. Grimalkin yowied. and the baby's biz
sister, q beautiful girl with voice likI
fairy music and melting, tender, blue eyes
hit him an awful swipe across the bacl
with her dainty slipper and said:
AShut up your noisy keadI You'll hav,
old daddy Grim around here with one d
his tiresome lectures on kindness TO ami.
mals.p
Oh hoT mad be was' He stuck his tai