The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-04-13
Pith and Point.

The Chinese of California are the queue
cumberers of the soil.
| A SPANIARD has turned the whole Bible
into poetry-260,000 stanzas.
| A PICS tail is no more use to the pig than
the letter Up" is to pneumonia drper's
Bdzor.
If all the worlds stage, and men and
women merely players, where is the audi
ence to come from?
| THE egg Of the epiornis, on extinct bird.
is thirteen inches in diameter and will hold
seventy-seven quarts.
FOUR new post-oflices have just been es-
tablished with the euphonious names Of
Pigs, Dumps Pulse and Malaria.
LADY lin grocery store) "Let me have a
pound of butter, please" Clerk (who used
to tend in cigar store: Mild or strong?"
CONGRESSMAN Gn sleeping carr; " Porter,
will you bring me glass of water?" Por-
ter: "'Gainst interstate commerce rules
sah '-,Judge.
A RURAL paper offers years subscription
to the farmer who will lay the largest egg
on the editorial table 1t will be news to
most people that farmers lay eggs.
A NOVELTY in flowers mentioned by
! hower-grower is the 'moon flower, ," bloom
ing at night or on dull days, and growing
faster than even the morning-glory.
WE notice that a citizen Of Johnstown,
| Fulton county, has been granted a patent
for a fruit-picker. What is the matter
with the Johnstown small boy?-New York
| Tribune.
THE past dreary long-legged winter ought
! to teach us an important lesson but it
! doesn't happen to occur to us just now what
that lesson ought to be, unless it is that
great ash-heaps from little coal-hods grow
THE report that consumptives had been
cured at the Philadelphia Hospital by means
of injections of carboniC acid gas and sui
/ nhIIrnfp1 We in ode off, la
fact. The patients were relieved, but not
cured
THE editor of the Muddy Forks Butte says:
" 1t is our intention to make the Bugle the
great literary and political journal of the
whole West, which we cannot do as long as
we have to print our paper on hand-press
turned by our wife, as we do now"
"ON next Sunday" said Father Mcguire
| to his congregation, the funeral of A. b.
will be held in this church. l shall preach
a funeral sermon on the OCCASION and the
man himself will be here-the first time in
twenty years. "-Chicdg0 Ljcjng church.
In the provinces: Gontram steps into his
favorite cafe. He is "spoony on the land
lords two pretty daughters, who take turns
in playing cashier Z" What will you take
today" asks the waiter. The younger"
replies Gontram, abstractedly. -French Fun.
A BosToN confectoner did big business
in April fool candy, selling about one thou
sand pounds at fifty cents a pound. 1t
| looked very tempting, but beneath the
chocolate or sugared exterior were Jumps of
wood, whole hickory nuts balls of cotton
wool and pills of garlic.
THE Hotel World gives a list of thirty-six
hotels on Broadway twentv-siX of which
are conducted on the European plan, three
on the American plan exclusively and seven
on both the European and American plans.
| These thirty-siX hotels on one street alone
in New York contain 1915 rooms for guests.
AN Alabama committeeman writes to
normal school that the town is very well
satisfied with its teacher. He says: She
tries to make everything just as pleasant as
she can. She don't mind work. She takes
the axe and cuts wood-went to the woods
one evening after school and helped to saw
| OFF two cuts after four o'clock. The people
are very well satisfied with her"
THE city of Holvoke, Mass, one year
raised the circus license from $50 to $500
as soon as Barnum announced that he would
show there. The result was that Barnum
changed his arrangements and pitched his
tents in Chicopee, a few miles away. The
Holyoke business men made great fuss
and the next year Holyoke notified Barnum
that the license fee had been reduced to the
old figures.
The commercial traveller will have to pay
| full fare on many of the railroads under the
new interstate commerce law. This extra
expense will come out of the business house
which pays the drummer's expenses, and
ultimately, of course, out of the consumer.
But If the consumer is also producer, and
an eastern producer he may get enough
more for his products to enable him to pay
more for his goods
TOMMY was presented, lately, by his elder
sister, with a neat pen-wiper for use at
school, where he had just begun attend
ance. He admired it, but remarked, 81
don't have much use for it, Jennie" Why
not, Tommy? You use pen every day at
school" Eyes, know it," "Why don't
you need pen-wiper, them" cause l
always wipe my pen on the girls hair that
sits in front of me. "-Boston Transcript
A CURIOUS community is established on
an island in the South Atlantic. man
who was shipwrecked on the island about
fifty years ago is the head of the govern
ment, which is republican in form, though
the island belongs to the English crown.
There are nineteen families in the state,
consisting of forty-four women and girls,
twenty-three men and boys, and children
under fourteen years of age thirty of both
sexes.
DIR. GUILLAssEE of the French navy, in a
paper on typhoid fever, says: Coffee has
given us unhoped-for satisfaction; after hav-
ing dispensed it we find, to our great sur
prise, that its action is as prompt as it is de-
cisive. No sooner have our patients taken
a few tablespoonful of it than their features
become relaxed and they come to their
senses. The next day the improvement is
| SUCH tndl we are tempted 10 look upon COIlee
as specific against typhoid fever
THE extraordinary mortality in the family
of the Baron Durand excited the suspicious
of the French customs police after that gen.
tleman had crossed the Belgian boundary
four times in as many months travelling
each time with a Theoretically sealed coffin
and bathed in tears over the demise of some
near relative. The last time they opened
the coffin against his fearful remonstrances,
and found in it, instead of a corpse, a mass
of fine cigars and expensive smoking to-
bacco, upon which no duty had been paid.
The baron mourns now in the Jail at Lille.
1T was in an experience meeting in an
African Methodist church over in Virginia
writes Washington correspondent. new
convert had been giving in his confession
He had told the brethren and the sisters all
the sins of his life, and more too, with all
their aggravations. He had confessed to
every crime known in the statutes and every
sin known to the decalogue. When he
paused for breath, gasping at his own wick
edness, a brother in the gallery shouted,
solemnly: " Put out dat lampl" "Why-
for?" asked the pastor Coz" said the
solemn brother, 80 de viles' sinner done re-
turn"
A COUPLE of rascals are swindling the
farmers of Greene county, Pennsylvania, in
an ingenious manner. They read the local
papers carefully, and when farmer pub
fishes an estray notice No | calls to look at
the animal. The farmer shows the beast
foil IAa doc 10 ant no. hon, A,