The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-08
BRIGHT BITS.

A MAN without pecuniary backing is likely to
be an unsettled fellow.-Merchdnt Trdue'er.
you don't mean to say, Phillis you are going
10 undreSs on the beach?'
Why not? There's only that Boston pho
tograper about. lie doesn't count "-Toto7e
Topics.
AN observing individual, who is spending the
summer at farmhouse says the fowls remind
him of BARRIERS, as they carry combs and are
always crying out Cut cut, cut, hair cut!
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
FEMALE EVANGELIST in Indiana is telling the
girls that not five men in a hundred are good
enough for them TO marry. The girls go right
along marrying, however, and every blessed one
of EN- thinks she gets one OF those five white
sheep.-NdshyiHe Amertcnn.
sHE-Here comes Washer; why is he so cool
to your
He-Because he tried to cut me out with the
girl I've since married
She-But why are you so savage with him'
He-Because he didn't succeed.-LUe.
HAVE you a magnificent wardrobes' the
manager asked, addressing the actress who had
just applied for an engagement,
Why, no; I've no wardrobe at all. I'm in
the bureSque line, you know
"Ohl see. All right. Boston Courier.
GRIGGs TO GRIGesBY-Do you know, old boy,
they say our friend Miss Smythson is the most
distinguished American abroad, and is the sen
Sation of the season in London.
Griggsby--How comes that:
Griggs-Why, she is not admired by the Prince
Of Waies.-The Judge.
wIFE-Here. you old fool, It's past o'clock.
pretty time of night TO come in.
Husband--Yes, It's tritle early.
Wife-Don't You know, John Henry that
there is no place like honey"
Husband-Don't IL Well. guess do (hic).
That's why go smother place.
Wife-You brute
Bang click Tragedy continues inside
Omaha Herald.
WHEN 4-year old Johnny Perry said his pray
ers one night and had asked God to bless
papa and mamma and to bless Johnny and
make him good boy he surprised his mamma
by saying: "And please God, bless Mr. Perry
and make him good man"
what do you mean by that?' his mamma
asked.
why" said Jonny, "you don't s'pose want
to be little boy all my life, do you?''-Bi1tns-
lotck (ife.) Telegraph.
John" said Mrs. Tompkyns, you've been
out to lodge meeting every night this week"
Yes, my dear.
And every night last week"
YES, love"
And every night the week before"
''Ye-es - ~
and for good many weeks before that"
'Ye-es Isuppose So"
And before we were married you used to
come to see me every night. You didn't bother
the lodges much then"
II guess that's about right, my dear"
Now, John, what is the reason for this?'
81 guess, my dear, the reason is we are mar
red now and weren't then. '-PittSbIrg Dis
patch.
AT THE MINSTREL SHOW
1.-The FIirt.
You can see her in the box right over there;
She's as pretty as a picture | declare;
How she rolls her roguish eyes,
What wondrous smile she SHES
At the hundred dudes who at her boldly stare.
1.-THE Fat Mon.
OH A jolly chunk of adipose is he
AS in any long days journey you will see,
But Lord, how he perspires
When a joke the endman fires
And his huge fat sides do shake for very glee.
IL-The GolIery God.
In dirty face and shirt-sleeves, there he sits;
Now he grins, and now he grunts, and now he
spits;
Does the end-man try to poke
Off on him some chestnut joke!
With his groans and cries of ''Ratsl" he gives
him fits.