Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-08-11
The New Hired Man.


. man this time O. yearp"
',W'y. Hammer, 'pearst' me oughter
know wen need n man. Look at
that broakin' want o do on the back
forty, and there's the corn wants The
gone through Che other way, an the
. garden thoe-it's time them pertatcrs
+, were hilled up, an they need buggin'
most ev'ry day-an' hayin' comm OF
I'm goin,, t put up all the hay there
is down in yon slough. Co'rs' / need
hired man. Ye wanto mind, Han
ner, that VEINS are farmin' it in Da-
koty now an do things sight differ
ent'n we did in Penns' lvany."
So "Oh, recon | knowed that already.
Ever since ye planted them cab'ges in
tho wrong time o the moon last year
an didn't hev 'nough SOS We could
find 'em, seed We was dom it differ
ent."
"Oh, don't talk no more bout them
cab ges-a person will make mistake
onct in awhile"
Yes, an some o 'em twict in
awhile, Zacharier. Did We get me that
new milk-bucket with a strainer on it?'
Hammer, | don't mind yer tellin' me
bout no milk bucket"
Yes, ye do, Zacharier; yo mind it
jest as well as do. Now. | want it
right away. or yer hired man can't
into tho bnuSnih
We'll, well. Hammer. hook up old
Doll in the mornin an drive down an
get It'd o got it myself, but I'll be
snaked eff l reelected any thing bout
it,
This pacilicd the good lady so much
that she went out and called her
daughter Alice. who was picking straw
berries in the garden. and directed her
to get supper ready. After she had
gone her worthy husband chuckled a
little over his remarkably original
scheme of forgetting to buy the milk
pail, and frOwned little when he re-
membered that it would have TO be
bought after all. His wife soon re-
turned and said:
well, it 'pearst' me We got an ugly
'nough lookiu' man this time. seed
him ont pumnin' water
"That's it. Hammer, zactly; that's Just
it! He is the bIamest, gawkiest,
greencSt lookin' man I've feed for
long time, an that's just wy | hired
him. low he won't be foolm' round
Alice and actin catfish"
He might try til never seed
man wouldn't act catfish if he had half
or two thirds of chance. But reck-
on it won't do him any good; Alice
wouldn't hev nothm' do with as ugly
lookin' a man as he is, pears t me he
don't look sit he knew 'nough t pound
sand into rat-holc.
"Oh, he's all right. only his looks
are agn him powerfully. How'd he
pear t be comm down on the pump
handle, Hanncr?'
''Iie wa mt THROWN himself ont it
very hefty, Zacharier. Flow We won't
find him any very great shakes"
''Oh. I'll tend t HIM. He can work,
I'll bet a farm. an if he won't get t
shnin" round Alice reckon he'll be
good man. I've had t chase bout
cy'ry man I've had lately off the place
cause he got It into his head he was
goin t marry Alice Pears t me We
TINS are very Unlucky that way"
"Zachar.cr. Alice. cOurages 'em,
that's wot she does; She fl rts with EN-
Wy YOU mind that last one we had in
the spring, - know caught her pass
in a piece o pic out o the pantry
wmdcr t him. Yes, sir, big piece O
dried punkin pie, an he took it an
sot down oo the edge o my soap ket-
tie an ct it, an she stuck her head
out O the winder an watched him"
Yes. know il, Hammer, dunn i, |
know it. Yc Jest watch an see how
much pc she passes out to this cuss!
Wy, if ! had his picture I'd hang it
up'n the barn 10 keep the hogs QUIZ
They were interrupted by Alice an
nouncing that supper was re ady. and
all gathered in the large cool kitchen
where it was served
"Jes' set right down at the end thar.
Tom, an hep Yourself" said Zacha-
rIah, with a wave of the hand to the
now man, He did not need a second
invitation, and moved on the excellent
supper which Aii.c had prepared as if
he was in the habit of carrying such
things before him. lie gave his undi-
vided attention TO the business in hand,
and Mr.. Daybaugh failed to detect him
in so much as CHANGING at his daughter
Alice, who sat opposite. though to tell
the truth, an impartial observer coult
not have blamed HIM much if he hat
embraced every opportunity for gazing
at her, for she was certainly worthy o.
any mans attention. Plump rosy
checked, hrowu-eved and-well, | will
say very pretty and let it 20 at that
: it not seem strange that so man,
Of his predecessors had fallen victims
TO her charms, or that the last one haC
even been detected in taking pie from
her hands through the pantry W ndow
cspec ally as no one denied that sh,
offered him the pie: and in fact en-
Outraged him to eat it; and still fur
ther, that it was piece of Mrs. Day
buvgh't famous dried pumpkin pie an
an inch thick.
But if Tom had been at all moved b
the charms of Alice he failed to betra
it by q look and kept up his attacks o.
the bread-plate in way that somewha
alarmed the worthy Zachariah. Alice
however. either from a smaller appt
Ute or curiosity or coquettishness, or
there isn't room here to make cats
logue of the different feelings which ar
liable 10 move the female mind, so
will say, or something-did not fail
observe this addition to the me
folks" of the family. She certainl
didn't fluid ANYTHING very handsome