Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-01-27
MRS. BOWSER,S HUSBAND.
He Devotes Few Days to Repairing Things
About the House.


lie DevoteS Few Days TO Repairing Things
About the House.
Detroit Free Press
The knob on the cellar door came loose
the other day, and the girl at the same
time reported pane of glass out in the
kitchen aad broken caster on the ex-
tension table.
I asked Mr.. Bowser If he wouldn't send
up a man to make repairs, and he re-
piled:
ST was Just wishing for something TO
busy myself st for few days. III get
some tools and go through the house and
repair and improve"
Iventured TO remind him that he spent
the best part of two days and nights re-
pairing the leg of a stand, and that it fell
down and broke a SIS vase as soon as he
had pronounced repairs complete, and re
put his hands under his coat-tails, called
up an awful frown, and replied:
sMrs. Bowser, when [ don't know
what I'm about I'll look to you to advise
me-"
In about an hour after leaving the
house he returned with six files, three
pimlets, screw driver, two hammers, a
brace. and several bits and drills, a bottle
of cement, three pounds of nails, putty
knife and putty, and various other things,
while paint, yarnish and brushes soon
followed him.
ssThe whole outfit cost but $13,40," he
explained, as he opened the bundle with
a smile of pride on his face, "and | can
keep the house in repair for two or three
wears, I'll do hundred dollars worth
of repairing in the next week"
Mr.. Bowser made his start on the
broken window pane. He got chair out
doors to stand on, knocked out the rem
nants of the pane and then put In three
hours work removing the old putty
This was not accomplished until ne had
cracked two ether panes, broke sleeve
button and cut himself in three places.
Then he put in the new light, used shin
ole nails for brads and spread on the
putty until it would have fallen off by
its own weight had he not braced it with
sticks.
"Well. what do you think of that?" he
asked: as I came out 10 look at the
job.
you've used lots of putty"
Certainly. A glazier would have stolen
half of it. I don't propose to be stingy
with my own family"
''Well, it may do"
"May do! Mrs. Bowser, what de you
know about glazing, anyhow! L don't
saw that I ever learned the trade, but if
there are three men in Detroit who'll
beat that Job I'll eat up all the putty!"
That evening he discovered that ell of
the kitchen chairs were exactly three
fourths of an inch too high, and he sawed
the legs off while the cook held them
down on their backs. AS d result No.
tipped backward, No. 2 leaned forward,
while No. 3 was what sailors would call
on its beam ends to starboard. went to
bed leaving him trying to solder leak
in an olo tin dipper and next morning
found four holes burned IN the Kitchen
floor, two in the legs of his pants, and
drippings of solder all over the stove and
sink, while the d1pper had been mashed
fat. Breakfast was hardly over before
he found a door that sagged. He got 1t
off it's hinges and planed away, and he
got it back on and squinted and measured
and reflected, and after half days
work he had an air-hole at the top, a rat
hole at the bottom, and the lock so far
away from the jamp that 1t was useless.
In the afternoon / went out. and Mr..
Bowser laid down his carpenter tools
and took up the varnish brush. The var
nish was too thick TO spread and he th1nn-
ed it down with kerosene. The wood
work of my new sewing machine, which
was, of course, oil finish, received his first
attentions. and he had such good luck
that he tried his luck on the parlor man
tel, the baby's crib, the woodwork of the
parlor chairs and the spare room bed
stead. When reached home he was try
ing to convince the cook that all the
kitchen floor needed to keep itself clean
80 he ~
nish.
.sMr. Bowser, what on earth have you
done?" exclaimed as I reached home
and realized the extent of the damage
done.
"Why, added $500 to the looks of our
furniture" he proudly replied.
IT cost him $40 to hire man to re-
move the com pound he had brushed on,
but meanwhile he rendered our burglar
alarm useless for week trying to run an
extra wire to the barn. He tried to re-
pack valve in one of the radiators, and
we got steamed out of the sitting room
and had to send for steamhtter. He
tinkered with the front door bell, and 1t
doesn't ring yet except as an agent pulls
it. He spoiled three locks, got the gas
TO leaking, bursted water pipe, and
laid the cook up for week by spilling
hot lead in her shoe. Then he packed up
his tools and carried them to the barn,
and returned with smiling face to say to
me:
"Mrs. Bowser, if anything else gets out
of order let me know. A stitch IN time
saves Nine, and there is deep satisfaction
| in knowing that you are not dependent on
Tom, Dick and Harry. [ only wish that
had seven houses on my hand to re-
pair.
| Thomas Stevens Travels Far, and Sees Many
Strange Scenes and People.
| n. Y. Star.
i Lo- H. 311J T.