The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-11-30
WiLTER'S WEAKNESS.
The More Prominent Peculiarities of .,
Afgumentatiyc Man,

hAOWA III VIc dl y ulucutstllNO lIuc. 11o
would at any time rather discuss. no
matter what, than eat or sleep; and
Wilter was no unskillful hand with the
knife and fork. and as for sleeping,
when he really set about it. he could
almost equal the achievements of the
most somnolent of that famous seven
of Ehpesus. But augmentation was
his best hold, and when he had a job
of discussion on hand-and it was
very rarely that he was out of employ
ment in that line of industry-he would
give up sleep, forego food, neglect his
work. and confine himself en- tirely to
word-twisting and ratiocination.
And it mattered not what the sub
ject in dispute might be. Big or little,
of pressing Importance or ofno earthly
interest to any body, it was all the
same to him. He was ever ON the
watch, and let an unfortunate individ-
ual lay down the most trivial of COM
monplace propositions, Wilter would
take it up instanter and argue for
hours as to its obvious falsity and in
herent impossibility. l remember
once when John Milding happened to
speak of the irritability of a certain
person. ':And what do you mean by
irritabilityP" was the ready retort of
Wilter. Though naturally surprised
at such question, even from man
of Wiltcr's well-known propensities,
Milding replied that it meant the quail
ity of being easily irritated, suscepti-
bility to excitement or evaporation.
Then Wilter put on one of those exas-
perating smiles of his. which said as
plainly as words could have
expressed it: '.Ah. my boy! now I've
got you!" Wilter had somewhere run
across the word in its physiological
sense. "a healthful vital susceptibility
to the influence of natural, medicinal
and mechanical agents. and the power
of responding in normal manner,
both by sensation and actions; espe-
cially tho property, in living tissue, of
sudden contraction. followed by relaxa-
ton, produced by direct stimulus Of its
substance. or through the influence
of the nerves." and with this idea
in his mind, he straightway proceeded
to demolish Milding's position--or
persuaded himself he was demolishing
it. which amounted to the same thing
and, in his own estimation, had very
soon left poor Milding without leg
to stand on. N ow, Milding was no
debater. He hated argument as ar
IDENTIFY as certain unspeakable indi-
vidual is popularity supposed to
hate holy water. But when
Milding was sure Of his ground.
he wasn't the man to give it up with
out struggle. Conseq uently he held
up his end as well as he was able, and
the dispute was long and wordy. As
each was right from his own stand
point, and wrong from the others
premise. they were no nearer agree
ment after three hours disputation
than when they began. But that
didn't trouble Wilter particle. In
deed, it left him with a subject for
argument the next day, and the next,
and so on indefinitely.
On another occasion, somebody hap
pening to mention Patagonia as being
in South America, Wilter, possibly out
of a mere love of discussion, pounced
upon the timerous one, and not only
denied that Patagonia was in South
America, but unblushingly de-
clared that it was in Africa;
and he then proceeded to back up
his statement by long and vigorous
argument; and very able argument
it was and one that might easily have
convinced person quite unfamiliar
with geography.
From these two illustrations, which
are true beyond peradventure, good
insight into tho mental idiosyncracy
Of Wilter is obtained. He never was
beaten in argument for he never adj
mitted any thing that his opponent
advanced, and he had the immense
advantage Of possessing a tongue that
never wearied and love Of discus
sion which knew no abatement.
Wilter when knew him was an ex-
pert workman. He was paid by the
piece, and when he chose he could
earn in a given period of time twice
as much as any two of his fellows.
But his rage for argument was so
powerful that his bill was gen.
orally the smallest of all the
men in tho shop. But he
cared not for that He was happy so
long as he could argue, which was
about all the time; and, though his
clothing was wholly unpresentable
and his face and hands dingy from
saponaceous abstention, and though
his family presented various degrees
of shabbiness. and were usually on the
shortest of short commons, and spite
of the duns which ever lowered about
his head, Wilter's equanimity was
never disturbed in the slightest. The
only thing that vexed him was the
lack OF opportunity to argue-that Is
to say, when he was alone.
But Wilter has long ago forsaken
the workman's bench, and is now an
alderman. He has found in the
aldermanic business an earthly para
disc. Wilter is the one happy man Of
all the men I know. Oh, il he could
live forever!-Boston Transcript