Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-11
SHOO !!

There is a woman in Connecticut who wears a number nine shoe. The date of her removal from Chicago is not given.-Pitts- burg Chronicle Telegraph.
 A farmer said: cone thing I don't like about city foIks-they be either 50 stuck up that yer can't reach lem with haystack pole, or so blamed friendly that they forget to pay their board. Buffalo Express.
 s'The night watchman awoke when the roof fell in, :" says conhagration dispatch. If it were not for the wakefulness of night watch men great deal of property would be de- stroyed.- Louisville Courier Journal "Mr. Snaggs, what is stag party?" asked Mrs. Snaggs of her husband. "Paradoxieal as it may seem," replied Snaggs, Ca stag party is one to which the dears are not ad- mitted. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle-T Telegraph.
 "What are you doing now, Thomas" asked the minister, patronizinely. s'I am a writer for the press," said the lad, proudly. "Indeed, you are quite young for that; what do you Write?' f'I direct wrappers. ."- Washington Critic.
 Daughter Mother, may I go in to bathe!' Mother-"Yes, my darling daugh- ter, put on that thousand dollar dress, sit on the beach and let a New York reporter de- scribe your bewitching costume-but don't go in the water. ."-Tid-Bits.
 A young lady in Seattle pulled the bell strap in street car vigorously and made ! the bell ring at each end of the car. "What are you ringing at both ends for !' asked the conductor "Because I wish the thing to stop at both ends," was the reply. A Sunday liquor law has it's annoyances, and it is awkward at first, but prompt citizen can soon learn to drink in six days | as much liquor is good for him to take | in one week. If not, he can fall back on ! his sideboards at home.-New Orleans Plea yune.
 ''No," said old Bill Squeezers, who was down from Bodie the other day. "No, ] | didn't go to Judge Podgers' wedding. The ! notice said No cards and I'm durned if | can fool away whole evening where there's no chance of little four-bit ante."-San | Francisco Wasp.
 When young man takes his best girl out | for summer evening stroll and she wait l until she is opposite an ice cream saloon be- I fore she remarks, "Don't you think it is tot
 warm to go any further?" it is time for tha young man to treat or else gain that maiden \ undying ghate.-Philadelphia Herald. { Cablegrams from India announce that thu Dwhalagha of Tglathpolit has declined re- l election, declared in favor of civil service re- form and single term, killed all his rela ! tives, and extended his first term to run thu limit of his life insurance. Cesarism has n'
 sort of show when man really means on
 term when he says it. it."-Burdette.
 ''How is 1t that you charge me fifty cent
 for this little pinch of bicarbonate of soda
 when you gave me three times as much fo
 ten cents yssterdaya' Druggist-"We ar
 filling prescription to-day. Suppose W
 are going to translate Latin for nothings M.
 dear sir. you don't seem to appreciate wha
 it costs to obtain classical education. Holt
 on I've given you oxslic acid. That boy
 always shifting them bottles around. ."-Bos
 ton Transcript.
 A transforming actor, who is passing hi
 summer at Detroit, was approached by
 friend the other day with: "I hear you hay
 new snap2" ''Yes, 1 am going to tn
 country towns with new play" 'fGoing t
 organize new company" "Oh, yes.
 dubious. It's poor play, the weather is he
 and my people are abominable." '.Then yo
 are sure to fail2' ''I expect to-" "But wh do you gos What can be your object?" '.Th
 object is. my dear fellow, to use up $40 which an amateur playwright is willing } let go just now!'-Detroit Free Press.