The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-18
BRIGHT BITS.

A DusYBoDY is generally a person who has no
business in this world beyond making it his bust
ness to neglect his own business in order to at
tend to the business of others Such chap has
no business to be tolerated anyway.-!ShOe and
Leather Reporter.
A BURLrNGToN reporter asked On actress if she
had ever suffered from stage fright She re-
piled that she never had except once when
crossing the Rocky Mountains. The stage came
within an ace of being tipped over precipice.-
Huntington Free Press.
Dor Abram Levi he opens store next to
mine. 1t wash mean of him"
But didn't you say last summer, Mr.. DOppen-
hener, that competition is the life of trader e.
Yes; but | wasn't in no beesnesS last sum
mer. "-HdIper'S Bdz0r.
TExAN-Yes mcbbe you wouldn't think it,
but l made my pile out of watered stock.
New Yorker shouldn't judge SO from your
appearance
fexan-No, perhaps not; but you can't ex-
poet to make much out of the creetms If you
let EN- go thirsty.-Ncl0 HGUen NeirS.
MISS DE GREENE-Ah. Moosoo Duval, Tn so
glad that you are to take me into dinner.
NJ. puval-Ah, Mees re plaisir-vat you call
him-is mutual, Ell!
Miss de G.-Well, the fact is. don't under
stand French, and never can understand the
bill Of fare. Why. at Mrs CruShups last din
ner | ordered a dish of sausage, thinking that it
was SweetbreadS, which | adore.-Accideat
Nelcs.
a CLERICAL GENTLEMAN recently met a couple
Of legal friends looking on at the erection of the
new court house. The clergyman inquired,
Have you come, in accordance with the old in
yitetion, to view the ground where We shall
shortly LEY "
Immediately one of the lawyers replied: Not
shortly, but continuously and at great length
The minister bowed and passed On.-BridgeD0rt
Standard.
Mrs. BLOBsoN was mixing some medicine for
Mr.. BlobSon, who was sick, when she was as
cd 70 ~ir,tr
very emphatic manner. What do you mean
by winking at me in that way, Mr.. Blobson?'
she demanded.
"F-force of habt,n stammered Mr. Blobson.
NO, no. don't mean that l mean have got
something in my eye"
well, / haven't" responded Mrs B. with as
perity. Burlington Free Press.
OMAHA MAN "a. D. 19Oo,-You are writing an
other book understand
Ignatius DOnnelly, Jr.-YeS. I have become
the leader of the Anti Hoyt Society. and am now
writing great work which will prove that we
are right.
is?'' ''' ''- " ''''' '''| '''0N' 'O'- '''i0''
I'VE intend, sir, to prove that the plays "A
Rag Baby a Tin Soldier "A Bunch of Keys
and A Hole i'll the Ground, were not written by
Charles II. Hoyt, as generally supposed, as he
was originally a mere newspaper Photographer
and was manifestly incapable of such produc-
tons. "
But, my dear sir who did write them them"
Our theory is that they were written by a
philosopher named Darwin.-OHdHd World
A New York GIRL visiting recently in Phila.
delphla was taken to the opera by a young
man, and at the close Of the performance was
asked to partake OF some slight refreshment in
the way of supper. She accepted the invita-
ton, and at the conclusion of the repast was
somewhat astOnished to see her escort reach for
her pocket-book, which lay ON the table at her
side, and coolly pay the bill out Of her money
This, it seems, is customary in Philadelphia
when q young gentemanS means are somewhat
limited 1t relieves his lady friends of the EN-
barrassment they might otherwise feel on par
taking Of any entertainment at his cost. 1t
struck the New York girl however as being
very ridiculous, and she began to laugh.
I fear you are laughing at my expense -"
said the young man. Let me explain
'Oh, no. she replied, Il was laughing at my
expense The Independent.