The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-09-10
lay a kind of Jekyll-Hyde business

for years sometimes without being
discovered. In the meantime our
wives are requested to always meet
US with smile and pair of warm
slippers. so that we will not become
dissatisfied with our home and go
somewhere else to do our drinking.
L presume that as many as two or
three men have been driven to ire
trievable ruin by this means,
The other man was rnined by eat
ing pudding sauce that had elderber-
ry wine in it. l went home because
| was afraid that among strangers,
the way was feeling, 1 could not
carry sunshine wherever l went or
be the life of the party. So 1 went
home where nobody expected it.
Looking back over that long, dark
afternoon, am proud to say that
did not kick any of tho children No
member of my family can ever truth
fully say that l kicked him, even
while under the influence of CLAIMS.
[ sent for physician and requested
that he would come as soon as pos
sible, not because thought he could
save my life, but because l wanted
some one to lean upon and show my
tongue to.
He said 1 had collie. l had more
than half suspected it all the time.
He then made himself unpopular at
our house by saying that / would not
die. After that he wrote brief ed
itorial in foreign tongue and asked
me if | had any one | could send to
the drug store with it. | said / Was
afraid not. My butler had gone
down to the GLACIERS to get one of
the family diamonds reset and the
footman was busy putting new
handle on our crest, but as soon as l
was well enough ] would go myself.
II said this in a tone of biting sar-
casm, for l have no butler and
wouldn't know how | could keep
him busy if l had one. Ive never
seen the day yet when couldn't do
my own butlering and still have time
for my other work.
He then SAID he would send the
prescription himself if | would tell
him of some druggist whom l felt
that l could trust. l said l felt that
l could trust most any druggist
around here, and l hoped they felt
the same way towards me.
took great deal of medicine that
night, but continued restless and
clamerous for sometime. l suffered
very much and said things that were
calculated to discourage the use OF
CLAIMS in our midst. L do not say
that the clam, for every one is abso-
lutely indigestible, but / do say that
l cannot see why people can eat
CLAIMS, and still hesitate about eating
pounded glass. Neither do l under
stand why any one should buy clans
on the half shell and then throw
away the shell.
CLAIMS grow best in low wet
grounds and do not 90 out very
much. They live to great age and
their plumage is not gaudy. even in
the tropics. Many believe the juice
of the clam to be good disinfectant
for those who imagine they see funny
reptiles and polka-dot insects floating
through the air, but l do not know
whether it is or not.
Some say that clam is a good
thing to put on boil. | never tried
this either. but I have often thought
that if | had large and restless boil
| would like to put clam on it and
then watch them from a distance.
The methods of the two are so utterly
different that combat between a
cold and austere clam and hot.
headed, tight fitting boil would be
very instructive.
CLANS do not produce their young
alive, but hatch them from eggs with
which they are wisely provided by
nature. 1t takes the female clam a
long time to hatch out her young
owing to the low temperature of her
feet. If l had large flock of female
clans who manifested desire t.
hatch out some young CLAIMS, l would
fool them while they were looking
the other way, and watch their sur,
prise when they came off the nest
with large brood of oysters.
BILL NYE.
The members of a large business