Morning journal and courier., 1887-05-10
WATER ED.

A Louis paper complains that the streets of that city are not watered. We consider that proof positive that Jay Gould does not own the etown.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 Mistress-Bridget, everything in the house is covered with dust. can't stand this dust any longer.
 Bridget-Do as do, mum; don't pay any attention to it.-Texas Siftings.
 We never realized fully, until the other day, what an inestimable blessing the ocean cable is. A dispatch was received amour cling that the Pope desires the prosperity of the Catholic church.-Burlington Free Press.
 A little girl lately arrived from the East wanted to amuse herself sewing one Sunday. Her aunt objected, saying it was the Lords day. "Why, auntie," said the child the Lord can't see me; I'm in California. '-1nyo (Cat.) Register.
 A eolored candidate for office in Chester field county, Va, has been defeated because he wore q white shirt. It was the only white shirt in the county and his fellow citizens couldn't stand such immaculate splendor.- Burlington Free Press.
 How to keep boy on the farm-let him
 read about base ball players, getting from $1 ,000 to $5, 900 for six months. This will reconcile him to working from sunrise to sunset during the summer month for $2 8 week and dfound.-Norristown Herald. When young man standing near the ter | minus of the Brooklyn bridge, holding z 1 feminine satchel or wrap in one hand and { young woman's elbow in the other, while he explains, incorrectly, the working of the cable grip, you see young man on his we'd
 ding journey York Commercial. Tailor (to applicant for job)-We want l good cutter. Have you had much experience | in the tailoring line2
 l Applicant (with confident smile) never l had a suit of clothes ready when l said would since I've been in the business. Tailor-Youu do. You must be an ole { hand.-New York Sun.
 I The following quaint sentences formed a l part of will admitted to probate in the sur rogates court few days ago: 'I particu | larly desire there May be no pomp, no show
 at my funeral. I desire nothing but th' | tears and sympathy of those that Loved me | and are trying to follow me to Abraham'
 boosome. Buffalo Express.
 James Russell Lowell as he was about sail | ing for Europe told an interviewer: 'I don like reporters. I believe if a man should di l a reporter would try to interview him ant ! find out where he was going" Scarcely, NIT l Lowell. In ninety-nine cases out of a hun dred the discerning reporter would knoV | where he was going without asking.-Norris 1 town Herald.
 There is milkman at Brixton who has ready wit that lawyer might envy. One O
 his customers caught him watering his mill
 at a horse trough the other day. "What!
 said the customer in a rage, Fisn't it enougE | that your milk is full of typhoid withou | your going and watering ita" The milkmal
 turned round, and, smiling complacently
 said to two or three bystanders: "What cal you do with 6 man like this? He actual.
 wants his typhoid straight. t."-Philadelphis | Press.
 A wasp went buzzing to his work, And various things did tackle; He stung boy ana then dog, l Then made rooster cackle, And last upon drummer's cheek | He settled down to drill; He prodded there for half an hour | And thea he broke his bill. l -PhiIadelnhia Call