Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-10-30
DAILY HERALD.
TWO IN A BED /!
How a "Herald Mans
Rest was Disturbed
BY A DETERMINED SNORER.
A Sanguinary Combat-Arrival
Of the Host - All Settled
asleep, Gentle Sleep" Etc.

see we didn't expect your arrival"
said his host to a HERALD man the
other night, who had just got off the
North bound train, and objecting to
the unsociability of hotels had drafted
himself on TO an old acquaintance.
Certainly not" was the rejoinder,
81 have had enough roughing it in my
time to teach me not to kick over a
little thing like that"
So it was so arranged and the sub
ject was temporarily forgotten amid
the excitement OF game OF cards,
during which the scribe lost every
thing to his last pencil and then came
the hour for retiring, and the fun be-
gan.
.'Outside or inside" said the HER
AID man, pointing tragically to the
couch, as he stalked across the room
looking in his robe de a,sst like an i'm
personation OF Rienzi in all the glory
of the toga.
s'No difference" said his comrade,
who was endeayoring to unravel a
Gordian knot in his bootlace. ''I'm
not particularly the way, do you
kick?"
eyes" said the scribe, II am
liable to If you start snoring or talking
in your sleep about your girl"
"Oh, L don't mean that way" said
the would-be Davenport as he broke
another tinger-nail with muttered
curse. 'I mean do your pedal ex-
tremities oscillate during your period
of somnolence."
"Eh-oh, yes," said the scribe gasp
ing for breath as he leant up against
the wash-stand and upset the water
bottle into his boot. No--of course
I don't kick, l usually sleep when l
20 to bed, but why do you ask ?''
"Oh we'll, do" said his compan-
ion carelessly as he opened the re-
porter's razor which lay near by and
cut the irrepressible boot-string and
was going to suggest that l had better
lie outside SO that l won't be able to
kick you out Of the bed.'
:Great Scott" gasped the reporter,
is it going to be as bad as that. Say
INV friend, can't you take something
to stop it---a grain or two of morphine
for instance. I'll see if Clay has got
some.
"Hold ou," said the restless one,
LAYING his boot listlessly on the bosom
of the reporters only clean shirt, ''it's
no good doing that, because I'm not
going to risk my life over such a
trif1ing affair. Besides, it won't be as
bad as you appear to think, and don't
mind waking me up il l annoy you"
ooh, yes, I'll wake you up" NUT
tered the scribe, as he placed his boots
beneath the pillow. "Yeu must ex-
cuse me if | happen to be a little
rough" and then he smiled
pleasantly as he made a trapeze-like
spring that wonld have done credit to
Vokes, and alighted in the middle Of
the bed with an elephantine crash.
"Well, good night, old man." his
comrade murmured, after blowing out
the light and falling over chair or
two on his way to the bed. "Say, are
you comfortable got plenty of room p
"Oh, yes," said the reporter, dan
Cling his feet over the edge of the bed,
1'as cosy as bug in a rug; good
night''--and so they parted.
Night on the plains! The soft,
white light OF the moon bathes
everything with its phosphores-
cent glare, and all is as
quiet as if the trump OF Gabriel had
sounded and man vanished from the
face of the earth forever. Hark! a
long, low, wailing cry comes stealing
DER the midnight silence; another
and another, and then the yelp of the
coyote is plain and distinct as he
prowls in search of something with
which to satiate his hunger. The
harsh cry of the bird Of night sounds
discordantly on the air and the little
chicks in the hen-roost nestle closer
under the mother-wing, for they know
that enemies are nigh. In little
room in that cottage on the outskirts
of yonder settlement two men lie
sleeping, in blissful forgetfulness OF the
troubles of the world around them
One OF them Smiles and stretches
forth his haEds, clutching at the
empty air as if he grasped some dear
ly-coveted prize. Of what is he thing
ing? Let us gaze over Somnus
shoulder and see. He fancies that he
is sailing DER the deep blue main, the
white wings filed with that ozone
laden atmosphere which kindles the
eye with the fire Of life and makes the
step grow light with the buoyancy O
youth. He is homeward bound, the
lees of his native shores are in tht
distance, and his soul goel
out with a tremulous Joy al
he longs for the embraces OF thos'
loved ones from whom he has been
80 cruelty parted by an inexorable fat'
SO long. But see--in the distance ,
fieecy cloud springs up, the air thick
ems, and soon q cold, grey fog comes
stealing DER the vista, wrappin.
everything in its dampening shroud
IT'S dangerous to proceed, for the
waters are laden with countless craft
skimming their way to foreign shores
and the captain r.lers the ship to be
hove to and twinkling lights hung out
on mast and spar. What is that
frightful noise that reverberates sui
leniy DER the thickened at
mosphere? Great Scottl the fog.
horn, with its toot! toot
toot! Louder and louder grows
the lCTrlDle Hlurinufl1S, oclOlnS ten-
thousand-fold from the cabin walls
it becomes deafening-and with a sud-
den start the HERALD man jumps
wildly from his downy couch, and as
the cold bead-drops of perspiration
fall silently on the carpeted door he
realizes that it has been but a dream.
In the bed before him. lying broad
Iv on his back with face upturned: h'
sees the incubus that has assailet
him. CANCELS and ministers OF grace
defend us' quotes the scribe as h'
falls YEARLY into a chair close by
"was ever mortal assailed b,
such vile noise before" for hi
companion is snoring with
vigor that deadens even the sound o
the awakened ones voice as he arises
,,d mills the sleeper vigorously bJ