davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
MR.. BIRDS LITTLE JOKE.
Why the Dauntless Let tho Coronet
Come in Ahead

SOAA1C 0ACdO.
LONDON. April 21.-At the dinner of the Cork
Yacht Club in honor of the Dauntless and Coro-
net people, Mr.. Bird, the Secretary of the New
York Yacht Club, established himself as the wit
of the party. There was nothing elaborate in
the way of speechmaking with the wine, but
rather an informal chat on the features of the
race and yachting matters generally. In the
course of the chat one of the gentlemen put the
question to Mr.. Bird:
"Wlll you tell us frankly why the DauntleSS
came in so far behind the Coronet? There is
none of those reporters here now forgetting one
or two, and we would like to know what came
over the old craft. y
Mr. Bird saw his chance, and Immediately
assumed a mysterious air Gentlemen, he
said, rising, Il could a tale unfold but | am
afraid it would leak out and compromise my
position as guest on the DauntleSs."
oh, Wen keep it quiet, shouted the others
Then you will pardon me, gentlemen if, as
sort of collateral, as it were, for revealing the
true cause of our defeat. | shall demand
solemn promise from you all to never diyulge it
in all your born days"
We certainly will not
You Swear?'
We swear and down came the glasses to
emphasize the oath
Twill Admiral Smith Barry instruct the Sec
rotary to record the oath?" said Mr.. Bird, sol
EMMY turning to the representative from Hunt
ingtonshire the wealthy Admiral of the Cork
| Yacht Club
The oath was recorded.
Now | may unburden myself" said Mr..
| Bird. "'rhe fact is. gentlemen, that I'm a
Christian mon. Sos Colt, SOS Staples. SO are we
| all Christian man. And recognizing the fact
| that we were coming into a Christian port of a
| Christian country, we were willing to stand in
glorious defeat rather than violate your sense Of
| religious decency by coming up the harbor on
| Sunday like those heather CoroneterS. Really,
| gentlemen, we were in sight of Fastnet light on
| Saturday afternoon, but we stood off and on,
waiting for Sunday to come and go, that we
| might come up the coast like respectable yachts
men. and"
| The party saw the point, and sent mp shout
that brought the steward out of his ante room a
very scared man indeed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
lNDEy TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGs-Catholic Library Association; Sa-
vannah Lodge No. 2l5, l. o. B. B.; Zerubbabel
Lodge No. IS, +. & A. NJ.
SPECIAL NoTIcE-Poicy Holders of the Ala
bama Gold Life Insurance Company.
LEGAL NoTIcE-Libel for Divorce.
STEAMSHIP ScKEDULE-Ocean Steamship Com
pany.
CIRCULAR No. S3-C Change in Classification,
Georgia Railroad Commission.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help Want
ed Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale;
Strayed or Stolen; Rattle; Lost; Found; Miscel-
laneous.
AUCTION SALEs-Church Building, by r. H.
Tatem; Household Furniture, by ]. Mclaughlin
& Son.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
Registered at the Post oelce in Savannal.

The MORNING News is published every day in
The year and Is served to subscribers ia the city,
BY neWsdealers and carriers. on their own ac-
count. at % cents week, 81 % a month, - 90
for six months and SO 90 for one year.
The MORNING NEwsa by mai. one month.
81 90: three months. 81 80; six months, s. %;
one year $40 90.
The MoRylxi NEWS. by mail six times =
week (vvithoUt Sunday issue, three months,
s. 90: six months s. 90 one year IS 90.
The MORNING News. Tri-Weekly. Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays. or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays, three months 81 p; SIX
months So 30: one year, s. no.
The SUNDAY NEWS, bY mail, one year, 81 90.
The WEEKLY NEWS, By mail one year 81 %.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order. check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mail at risk of senders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
'MoRNISG NEws. savannah, Ca
Advertising rates made known on application.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
In Spite of Prohibition.
From Die Boston Tronscript.

Speaking of beer, ! am >reminded of an Incl
dent of . flying trip | made to Kansas. Ordi-
narily, it must be confessed, it is rather difficult
to get liquors of any sort there; but your hotel
proprietor will provide them when he finds that
you are ''all right The drug stores will sell
them cautiously. | fell in at one city with a
Chicago lawyer who wanted to show me the
way to get drink in Kansas, and, purely as
an investigator, / decided TO go with him. He
an odd individual, and had a lisp that made
his speech picturesque. He took me to u corner
drug store and made a sign to the apothecary.
who began TO catechiZe us.
1T it'll nethethary,' my friend explained 20
me, Ito give on'th name and rethidenth Your
name it'll John Q. Blank. and you live in Both
ton My name is Tbilath Tbcudmore and live
in rhyicago. Now, Mr. Druggtht. 20 ahead
THE name?" asked the druggist.
''Thilath q. Bankmore,' said the Chicagon-
"Resdence?'
''BOthcago."
'Disease!"
"Lathitude'
Beer or viii"
"Whithkey.N
How much:"
"About five ountheth-eh. Mr.. Blank"
Il told him that | though five ounces would
certainly be sufficient. and a liberal allowance
poured out on our prescription" The
form Of the law was doubtless observed and the
apUthecary had valuable record Of the ease. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
An immigration SIEVE Needed.

From the Louisville Courie,-JouTldt (DeDt0
The fact that paupers lunatics. criminals. An
archsts and Mormons are coming here from
Europe in numbers out OF all proportion to the
respectable immigrants ought to suggest to
Uncle sam the purchase, at once of big inn
migration seive. Our own native wickedness
and thriftlessneSs are quite enough for one con
tinent. and if these things are to be doubled or
trebled on us, the future of the United States
will be as dismal as the narrowest monarchist
coald wish.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
The Rule Did Not Work Both Ways

Mr.. C. W. Clarke, OF Cincinnati, was a passen.
ger on n recently arrived Australian steamer.
II was on sunday that the gentleman reached
Sydney, and without losing time be- made for
the hotel bar There he was confronted by a
decidedly antique barmhid, who placidly bui
very firmly suformed him that II was against
the law Of the colonies 10 sell liquor upon the
sabbath unless " could De- shown thar the nppli.
cant had actually Travelled fifteen miles upon
that day. The landlord was finally cOaSed in 10
suhstariIgte the fact. that the petder az the
bar had just come an tho way from San i'ian.
c.aon. The drink wac forthcoming. hut ahrn
Ml llnrka began ~ reason that N q MAN who
hhs traYrirh fifteen miles r. eniitri io one dfiuE
be- Nho has come iWn ml0a ought 90 have ~
many driiiln ~ ~ b rJnfIiuei in lp1 hulh fhe
hlrfHl hud thH landlord turned pale nlthuliFh
nnllhrr Wald Ealnsay the force VT the niathe.
niaieal lo6lC.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
Quite Right.

From the Chicago Tribune (Rep.)
Taking a bird's-eye view of Southern senti-
ment as portrayed in the expressions OF opinion
gwen by most Of the leading Journals between
the ONO river and the Gulf Of Mexico. we are
constrained to say that the aIfure OF Senator
Sherman by band of Cuban brlgands would
ton calamity not worth mentioning in COM
parison with the frost on the early tobacco
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
The Second Term Canard.

from tie Houston POSI- IDeDll
While the leading and most Trustworthy Dem
ocratc papers of the country appeared consider
ably cast down so long as there was probabili-
" OF the truthfulness Of the report, the
Republican journals were, on the other hand,
correspondingly juhllant Tits means great
deal. and TO people in this section of the coun
try, far removed fretn she great political
centres, no better evidence can be obtained upon
which TO base judgment
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Henry c. Ives and his Wall street col
1eagucs are said to have paid President Gar
ret s., 900 600 ON accoun of their Baltimore
and Ohio railroad option. This would in
dicate that railroad options are luxuries
which only the rich can enjoy
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Lille Martin, comely Chicago girl, has
taken out license to marry Wong Wing,
Chinaman. The groom told reporter that
Lille had done all the counting. Her course
indicates that she believes the way to re-
deem the heather is to marry them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Jay Gould says: Stocks ought to go up
now; only artificial causes can keep them
down" Wall street brokers are wondering
if Gould considers himself one of the "al'ti-
fetal causes
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

A New York druggist complains that
when man gets beastly drunk in that city,
somebody takes him to a drug store for
treatment. In Savannah when man gets
beastly drunk he is put in 1.-THE cooler"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

has written a book entitled: How She
Felt in Her First Corset" As set Off
somebody should write a book entitled:
tHow He Felt in His First Trousers"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Compared with the figures of last year
railroad earnings are decidedly on the in
crease. Perhaps they will continue to in
crease if Congress will pass few more laws
"to regulate" etc
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

1t is to be hoped that May will be less
boistrous than April 1t is time for the
winds to give lis a rest.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

The number of female students in the col
legcs of this country is said to be 10000.
Hfbey should all graduate at one time,
would the surplus in the United States
Treasury cover the expense of providing
them with graduating dresses?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Charges have been preferred against a
New York broker for matching quarters.
They ought to be pressed. No broker
should be allowed TO engage in petty gamb-
ling. He should be made to understand
that he must play only in big games
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Senator Sherman thinks the Southern
boom is well enough, but the boom that
pleases him most is of the Presidential vari-
ETY. and il is labeled SHERMAN
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

The Columbus Enquirev-Sun declares
that the Salvation Army is undoubtedly
doing much good in that city. 1t is reas-
enable to suppose, therefore, that the En-
qtirer-San does not look upon the members
of the army g tramps
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Georgia and South Carolina are again at
peace. A policeman forms the link which
unites the two in amity.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Col. W. p, Canaday, Sergeant-at-Arms of
the United States Senate, thinks the Repub-
licans will carry North Carolina next year.
The Colonel has been rather weak minded
ever since that horse fell on him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Having succeeded in strengthening his
memory, Mark Twain is now looking for
recipe for strengthening his humor 1t is to
be hoped that he will find it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Miss Abigail Dodge, better known as
"Gail Hamilton" has finally been persuaded
10 deny that she is the author of the Arthur
Richmond letters Mr. Blaine also says
that heis ignorant of their authorship Thus
the public is at least partially relieved.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

p Blauvelt, of New York, is prosecuting
Sarah Bernhardt. He follows her wherever
she goes, and sends a dozen letters to her
every day. He has offered to marry her,
but as he is SIS years old she scorns his offer.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

1t is said that the number of good artists
in the country is increasing. The public
would doubtless like to see some of their
works
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
CURRENT COMMENT.
A Mean Insinnatlon.

From the Me7npats Aro'atcte (DeniA
The mean insinuation OF several of the Repub-
hcan newspapers that the story OF President
Cieveiand's intention to write letter declining
to become a Candidate for are-election, and re-
Euslng To allow his name 70 b. used in any con-
nection with the Presidency or 81, was mere
"feeler, thrown ont TO, ascertain the popular
sentiment is too ridiculous for moment con
SideratiOu.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

The Atlanta Defiance, a negro organ of
nnsagofy reputation, wants che Republicans
10 nominate Robert T. l1nroln f0r Prosl
dent The JJeGaaee says that II be should
bc naminated ''thms would b. sub % cry
Cor t0r Bob that I'VE ara coming Father
Abraham. 90. 90 iuos a. a0nld si,ake ihis
s.as.kaz.sn,a. i.afn "A Az .fisnsinE IA faet
l1.< ..f2|4 tN.sL1 XVI Ihe4 W ,ffea,
~ 81 ...4.*.'e t@I> % |,Nt'|<enA 6s4
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

The young women of Newton, N. j., have
formed an ''anti-yice society The mem
hel~ aro pledged not 10 receive attention
from young men who use alcoholic liquors or
Tobacco. Unless the society disbands. New
Ton. one OF tbese days win be filled with
eiA nlaib. and eats
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Col w. H. Glider, who started in a white
flannel suit on ramble 20 the North Pole
last August, is preparing to ramble in that
direction again. IL is said that his first
ramble was a failure because he couldn't
induce the polar bears 10 use English rs she
Il sl1oken
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Gov. Taylor, Of Tennessee, has begun to
strike back at his enemies He admits that
attempts were made TO bribe him, but he
says he indignantly repealed them. He
ought TO have kicked the parties who made
the attempts into the middle of the stree {.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
mo, no; not eagle"
Ostrich, " Quietly explained Emerson,

"Ah yes, the ostrich, that's IT," gratefully
exclaimed Kossuth; and continuing from the
point where bis English had for the moment
failed him. plunged into n noble perorltion ON
the short sigtteduess of the House Of Ilapsburg,
using that sonorous English OF which he was 80
ready amaster.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

u may NOT ho due ~ the interstate com.
mofoe law, bat IL "a a fact that many news
prnrs no longer print wlroad personals
iaiN a eps tally tiuo of country newt-
usnf4
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

In New York, a few days ago, young
clerk borrowed 5c. from friend for car
fare. Looking out Of the window a moment
later, he saw Mr.. Aston walking briSlly to
ward his Office. Mr.. Astor was robust and
bright. The clerk was thin and sallow. 1t
will not only be money in your pocket,
young man, but walking will also be good
for your health. Try it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Washington barkeepers are appealing to
Webster's unabridged dictionary as a legal
authority. The law forbids them to keep
their bars open on the Sabbath, and they
claim that the dictionary defines the word
as the Eleventh day of the week." or Sat
urday. Unfortunately for the barkeepers
the courts refuse to accept the authority to
which theY nDnenl
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Speaking of President Cleveland's alleged
refusal TO accept denomination Senator
Vest says: This is all there is of the mat
ter-thaU if President Cleveland consults
his own personal wishes be does not desire
to be a candidate for President Personally
he does not wish "A second term. He is not
seeking denomination at all. He is never
theless the present choice of his party, and
if the convention should be held tomorrow
would be unanimously renominated. His
personal wishes have nothing to do with tie
question whether he will run again or not.
In the present state of things he could not
refuse
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

Mr.. james Brown Potter says That his
wife will make her debut in this country at
Washington 'beiore the President She
desires TO have the highest social and intel
lectual recognition, and she thinks she can
obtain il only in Washington. What sad
blow % Boston and Chicago!
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

In Philadelphia, the other day, Thomas
r. Coleman, aged 10, former city editor
Of the Ledger, married "a young woman aged
20 Hc was al the time lying IN bed worry
A. Coleman Is rich, which is the roa-
son, perhaps, why the young woman con
tpntd 10 marry him
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30

In the fervid language of the Hot Blast
Admission, Ala, is about to 'astound and
astonish" the people of this country into
speeches wonder at the sight of most
magnificent and unparalleled undertaking.
The undertaking in question is intended to
advertise Admission. A train. consisting of
an engine, fiat car, a gondola, freight
car, stock car, mail and baggage car,
buffet car, and a boudoir car, all made in
Admission, of material found in the neigh
borhood, will be run from Admission to New
York, and thence to Canada, Detroit, Gin
cinnati, Louisville, Nashville, and then back
to the starting point. The cars will be
painted red, and besides number of distin-
guished guests, will contain samples of
Alabama products. A Representative of the
Hot Blast will go along, and will distribute
100000 copies of that paper. At Washing
ton a stop will be made in order to allow
President Cleveland land his beautiful
wife" to inspect this gorgeous and unpre-
cedented undertaking." about which Sin no
way is there the wild Utopian fancy of ORR
entail dreamer, whose castles and palaces
and grand and beautiful achievements ever
float away from possession or enjoyment
like the mirages of the desert" 1t must be
admitted that AnniSton's scheme is ahead of
Atlanta's Gate City Guard advertising tour.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-30
The Great Big Bird.

Every newspaper man knows that there is
great difference between the speech spoken and
the speech printed that the crldlties aud cor
ners which even the best speaker permits to es.
cape him are polished down by the reporter and
the proof reader Apropos OF this, TO the jour
naiist well known, truth. the listener heard
story which is worth telling and has the add
tional advantage Of being Concord story which
makes II all the more acceptable IN the latitude
OF Boston, When Kossuth spoke IN Concord he
wished to compare the course of Austria with
that of the desert bird that in hiding its head
thinks II ConCcals its body.
What You call your great big bird!' whis
pered the great Hungarian to those who sat
about him
'Eaglel" said one
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11
WHAT am L 10 DO?

The symptoms of Biliousness are uh-
happily but too we'll known. They diff
fer i'm different individuals TO some ex-
tent. A Bilious man is seldom a break
fast eater. TOO frequently, alas, he has
an excellent appetite for liquids but
none for solids of morning. His
tongue will hardly bear inspection at
any time. if it is not white aud furred,
1t is rough, at all events.
The digestive system is wholly out of
order aud Diarrhea or Constipation may
be symptom or the two may alternate.
There are often Hemorrhoids or even
loss Of blood. There may be giddiness
and often headache aud acidity or fiatu .
lence and tenderness in the pit of the
stomach. To correct all this IL not effect
3 cure try Green's August F1o,cer, 1t cost
but tribe and thousands attest its eff
cacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11
Fall Goods
LARGE STOCK
W.P.LICKLIDER'S

Call now and get your choice
of the New Goods that have
Just arrived, and will be sold
at prices to suit the times. We
keep a fine and large assort-
ment of Groceries and Provis-
ions. A larger stock of Boots
and Shoes than ever before,
and we will give you bargains
in this line. Save your money
and come and see. We have
an immense stock of China,
Glass and Queensware of best
and cheapest goods. Notions
we carry in stock. Hardware
we have. Baskets, Wooden
ware, Tar Rope q grades).
Bedington Flour, in sacks or
barrel. Sweet Potatoes and
Bologna all the time fresh.
Crackers, Cakes and fine line
Of Tobacco and Cigars. Call
ana see US and we will save
you money and do our best
for you. Butter, Eggs and
Potatoes wanted.
Yours, truly,
w - LICK
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11
BuckIen's Arnica SaIve.

The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises. Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price % cents per box. For sale by DR..
J. G.. Gibson.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11

MAYoNNAIsE.- Stir the yolk ofon
raw egg in bowl for one minute :;
then add oil, drop by drop, stirring all
the time until it thickens and begins
to look like cream. Then add, drop
by drop, some vinegar, still stirring it !;
then salt and pepper, Have bowl,
egg and oil all ice cold. How much
oil you put in depends upon the
amount you wish to make, but on no
account let more than one-half gill of
vinegar go to half pint of oil. Hard
boiled eggs can be used if you like
the yolks only.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11

A Virginia darkey remarked on the
occasion of an eclipse:
Dress de Lor! de nigger's time
hab come at last, an ives guine to
hab black sum-"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-11-11
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD.


WINTER CARE OF Cows.-The ar
rangement of the barn and yard should
be such as to reduce the labor as much
as possible. Excessive warmth is not
conductive to robustness, health or
profit. If a mans house is kept closed
up and heated with stoves to a tenn
perature of eighty degrees, and his
food and drink are all taken hot with
view to preventing the effects OF the
cold and to insure more comfort, the
jewellers in that house will become sick
or diseased; the impure air will poison
the blood the warmth will relax the
skin, dry it and open the pores, and
the slightest draft will cause fit of
shivering and induce dangerous colds.
1t is in precisely such houses that sore
threats, diphtheria, scarlet fever, and
other diseases are so frequent, while
in the house where the windows are
thrown open to the breezes, and the
cold, brisk, pure air is welcomed, and
exercise and health give warmth, fed
by the abundant oxygen of the fresh
air coursing through the blood, there
are health and vigor and comfort. 1t
is the same in the dairy. Pledro-
pneumonia invades those herds which
are kept in close, warm, unwhOlesome
stables, and the dreaded tuberculosis
finds there its prey; while from the
wide airy stable, well ventilated and
filled with pure cold air, the well-fed
cows will emerge to frolic in the snow,
and enjoy themselves in the bright
sunshine and the crisp air, when the
thermometer marks down nearly to
zero. Except in stormy weather, the
COWS should spend at least three or
four hours every day in the yard,
picking some rough feed and getting
water and exercise.