Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-02-26
ENGLISH As SHE Is WROTE.
Some Perplexing Studies for q Drug
gist.

From the Boston Herald.
A Cambridgep0rt druggist has made practice
for some years OF saving In scrap-book some OF
the most peculiar orders which he receives ave
are asked for some rather strange things. he said
to the writer 'but we can generally guess what is
wanted. Many people expect druggist TO pre-
scribe for their ailments and 1t saves physicians
charges, and the diagnoses OF complaints which
come 70 US are often amusing. Look at tlese:
send me some OF the essence you put people to
sleep with when you cut their fingers on That
evidently means ether. 4 want something to take
the tobacco out OF my mouth OF course the scent
or tobacco was the thing objected to. Send me a
6abys top to- nursing bottle means, without
smelling stuff that goes through your brain de-
scr1bes very well the effect OF inhaling ammonia
aor eye y not
startling order for enough epicac to throw up 9
girl four years Old cannot help sympathizing
to take the twist out Of dose of senna.' Here Is
graphic description OF q certain ailment, In
request for "a plaster for man kilt with stitches
Perhaps the one who wrote this order for some
thing for caustic woman builded better than he
knew. Here is an order for something for heavy
pain pain IN the bones that is coming out through the
take mans breath away did not
INTEND MURDER OR SUICIDE,
but merely wished for cardamon seed or something
OF that nature. sent lniment to this lady, who
asks for something to rub my old man WITH Not
q bad description of a poulttee is the order fol
enough flaxseed to make pudding for sore toe.
This child, who had AN Inn preston on his heart
and cough that is choking him In the neck,
this other one who, his mother wrote, was sheav-
Ing up and down and every way Here Is re
quest for something to knock cold out OF an old
woman The next one seems to be in hard condi-
tlOn. She desires something for a woman who has
pad cough and cannot cough Nodruggist would
hesitate Tor, FOR minute to III! this order: Some
own preparation will just I'LL the bill in such a
case: But what should we send for "a swelled wo-
woman whose appetite is loose on herr,
I'VE get used to phonetic spelling" pursued the
druggist, "and are very seldom unable to arrive at
fair conclusion OF what is wanted, even by the
bl1ndest writer's Here are orders for penny garlic,
parry garlic and paddy garrick, which procured
vergmont and bugm1nt were filled with Derga-
mot; these requests for come earback, gum mare
pack, garmar1back, cOmeraback and ram back
called for gum arabic; these asking for camfre
and campfire meant camphOr; worm me fuge and
barma1ug meant vermifuge OF course; where our
customers have called for epicOt, metick epicack,
apricot and epicat we have delivered ipecacuanha;
the person who wrote for honey quintom, blew
ONT, Annie Qu1ntOm and Ann GrtntOm got I'M
guentum, otherwise called blue ointment; orders
for lOdnum, ladnum and lord warm we filled with
laudanum; for balm of city we sent spermaceti
those who want high StirrupS got hive syrup; this
Ie 1o' VINO called for paint Killer received pain
whisky; that air root meant arrow root, and that
bitter Alice meant bitter alOeS. sent Arabian
balSam instead Of the raving balSam to this man
corrosive Sublimate instead of gross OF supple
ments to that one, and cherry pectOral instead OF
cherry pickerel to this other. substituted syrup
OF squS in these orders for sharp Squil and strip
or swirl; sent Ayers pills to this man, who asked
Tor ear pills; EPSON salts to the who wrote for
h1pSOn salt, and some cubebS tnstend of cupidS to
the other. Not having
ANY GLORY FARM ON HAND.
took the liberty Of filling this order with chloro-
form, and being out of flack seed and f1acks sed,
sent fax seed in that one
"When got these orders for OK sled acid and
hOrr1d lime sent OXalic acid and chlOrate of lime.
This man asks for McCordOn seed, this one ca
man seed, and this one for colOred man seeds, but
l gave cardamOn seeds to each. Many orders
come In where one syllable is mistaken for a con-
junction, as churrup and quill for syrup OF squills;
check and berry for checkerberry; gold and
thread, for goldenthread; spit and turkletine for
spirits OF turpentine; balm and glead for balm of
Gilead; hope and dlldOck, for OpOdeldoc. People
who wish for bOrax write for boeracks, bowriix,
D0wrax and bow wax. We get orders for ArnOld'S
blossom, instead OF balSam; Halls hair manure,
instead OF reneWer; and Burnett'S 'cOckrine' in
stead OF cocaine. Customers who want loveage
write for love itch; those who desire Hcorice write
fOr nuckrich, lOgrSh, nckriSh and Stickrish. Here
Is woman who wants five cents worth of
cologne to smell trunk. Another asks for a
mixture which shall be twO-thtrdS alcohol and
tWO-thfrdS castor Oil. This one wants something
TO make cat pit tea from, and the other asks for
ten cents worth OF Mary attic acid"