St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-11-13

CLASS lnealef WITH nat tnaG Will COLI
ceal a twenty-four-foO stage so that its
presence will not be suspected by the
people who sit behind her. A hat that
so completely absorbS the play the peo-
pie In the rear part of the house couldn't
or not if they didn't occasionally hear
the actors boiler.
81 for one am glad that hats are to be
worn lower, and shall do all l can to
bring the style into popularity by wear
ing my hat lower at times. 1t is an easy
matter for man to wear his hat low
during political campaign, if he culti-
Yates the acquaintance of candidates for
Office. l have followed this plan for
several years now, and | have never
failed to wear my hat very low on sew
eral occasions of more or less import
ance. OF course your position as a
friend of candidates will make t neceS-
sary for you to attend midnight bowls,
and it will not be strange if at times you
find it incOnvenient to locate your head
so that you can properly clOthe it in your
hat, but, at entertainments of this class,
there is always somebody willing, and
even anxious, to place your hat Oh your
head and pound it low down around
your neck to prevent its being blown
off by the wind. Last year l took the
initiative in introducing low hats in my
family. l gave the members of my
household little surprise about 4
O'Clock one morning. in coming home by
a Zig-zag route with my hat down around
my neck.
lis that you, Mr.. Holiness" inquired
came in contact with the hydrant on
tlp Othpr cidp nf tho CiHnNUalk
1T was me few minutes ago, but l
couldn't swear to it now" | replied, as
felt my way up the steps and into the
hall.
u was met by another member of the
family, who heretofore was not so
thoroughly acquainted with my eccen-
tricitieS as the servant was. My wife
inquired who had wrapped my throat
up i'll the ACCORDION. L explained tOher
that | had simply concluded to wear my
hat low, and wished she would adopt
the same tactics, as a hat worn down
where l was wearing mine, afforded
great protection to the bronchial tubes,
and if persisted in | was confident it
would cure throat and lung trouble, to
say nothing of chillblainS and poll evil
have no definite recollection of subSe
quent events, but noticed that during
the next few days the entire family,
with the exception of the servant, treated
me in a cold and distant manner. If
women would wear lower hats their huS-
bands wouldn't have to do business
with secondhand clothing dealers and
draw their salary ahead of time.
MARRY, YOUNG MAN.
Young men, the large majority of
you are lowering around on the verge
of matrimony, Shivering like mouse
cOlOred terrier and afraid to step Oft.
The great majority of you know just
where you can put your finger on girl
who would marry you at a seconds
notice, but you are afraid that you
couldn't satisfy the landlords, coal deal
erS and millinerS that man always
wedS when he marrieS woman. You
are not men! You are simply towards,
who see prize hanging above your
head and have not the moral courage to
ascertain if your arm is long enough
and strong enough to pluck it. My adj
vice to you is, if you have got job and
you are earning fair wages, to get mar
ried and go to housekeeping if you have
to begin with an oil stove, candle and
bed lounge. This may seem to you to
be small beginning and so it is, but
once married, the money that you now
throw away in your endeavOrS to quiet
your restless soul, will go into furniture
and little nick-nackS and you will soon
wake up to the fact that you are the
owner of home and that word means a
great deal to young fellow who has
been swimming around in the ocean
of life ever since he was big
enough to shave himself with his
chin Just above the water. Just as soon
as man can stand up before the world,
point to a pleasant home presided over
by wife who makes harness of smiles
with which her husband draws his bur-
den of daily cares, and say, ''they are
mine," he jerks his head up in the air
about six inches and goes prancing
around like yearling colt in new pas
ture. Get married young man, and If
you use common sense in picking out
wife you are sure to make success of
the venture. The world owes you a liv
ing, but it isn't going to press it upon
you. You will find that it is just as
yiding the extra mouth is owned by
your wife. If you are made of the right
stuff YOU will always cut your cloth so
the garment will fit. Sometimes you
will run short of trimmings, but the
substantial portion of the garment will
be there. Surprising you don't save
any money for the first year or two after
you are married, you are gradually and
almost unwittiugly building up a home
for yourself and you will find this work
mighty pleasant as you tug away by the
side of a cheerful, confident woman,
who is always willing to pull half the
load and drives away those gloomy,
mOroSe, peSSimiStic ghosts that have
come to be your hourly associates
through dissipation, irregular hours,
poor food and lack of WOman's soci-
ETY.. Get married! Just shut
your eyes and jump! Once in
the whirlpool you'll struggle mighty
hard to pull yourself up where you can
get good fO0thOld if you're man and
worth the love of woman. There is
nothing this side of heaven that can
smooth out the wrinkles in mans dis
position or knock down the Obstruc-
lions that get in his path as he tramps
along through this brief probation of
life, so perfectly as the sympathy and
affection of true. noble, Self-Sacri-
ficing woman, and l am eccentric
enough to believe that the majority of
ured out the cost of living for men mar
ried and single, and have compared the
totals. The expenses of the married
man L have placed very high, so if any
fellow reads it who doesn't get SS7 a
month he shouldn't be discouraged, but
go right ahead and get married and
begin cutting down expenses by hiring
a cheap minister to do the job. A cheap
can tie nuptial knot that will
give the courts just as much trouble to
unite as high-priced minister with
slow delivery can. Here are the figures
showing the expenses for one month of
the unmarried man.
A night out with the boys, in which
the municipality was faithfully
daubed with vermilliOn. S25. 90
Subsequent repairs i'll the way of
cracked ice, clothes cleaned. bath,
shave, eye painted and cocktails to
brace up on. 5000. 300
Amount of money tossed lightly over
the bar to the man with white
vest and a smooth face, for favors
rendered, with water on the side. 1000
BOARD of q h0teI that SprvpS thp hide