The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-05-07
Cream of Our Exchanges.

nan act 10 amend-sewing on button
"N'.'"qton critic.
\, a' mu,,.a for men and measure both
A crow har-putl. rr,,,.. y, q sh.no
There is always room at Ii. .oso
ening costume Tor more costuiap OF s an ev-
Mrs. Nina VanZ tndt Spies says her =,
band has never been out u nigat since the
were murried--Peoria Transcript.
The flying Of one chimney swallow does
not make IA summer, though every chimney
has tlue Nee orleans Ptcdg"ne
A New York paper declares that "the
low neck dless must GO Where Even
now II is sometimes mistaken for garter
in the Eist-Peorid TrdnscHPt.
No one knows how dangerous liver Is
until he reads the painted warnings on
fences devoted to medicine advertisements
Nor OrleIus PicdyHae.
A western man has cat VIII oh can sing
sweet ViOlets" Ii would seem that cats
are already suificien Objectionable TO the
community. Ph,tade,phiu cal.
A lady who advertised for girl "to dc
LIGHT house work received "A letter from ar
applicant who said her health demanded
sea air and asked where the lighthouse wa'
situated -Heutd.
A popular writer, who sometimes had
bad spell" wrote the name of the illus
trious author of Pilgrims Progress" a.
John Bunion' His publisher suggested
that it be put in a fOotnote.-Ltctng Ch"rch
We are told that California will produce
this year Sl00OO,000 gallons of wine, one
seventh of which will be turned into
brandy. The brandy will he mostly turned
into high.p iced politicians.
The Newburyport Herdtd reports tina
"Joseph G. Stevens was bitten by dog a
the south end last week, and the dog now
sleeps the sleep of death" This should
be a warning to dogs to keep away from
Mr.. Stevens south end
Wthcalm resignation his nervous prostration
He bore without grumblinR or moan, ~
And swallowed his physic and suffered the phthisic
Without complaint or ErOani
When the medical lancer probcd round Tor his canoe
lie gave out no u'terance of pain,
And he'd actually urge on the hospital surgeon
To probe 10 the hase of hi brain.
His twinges sciatical were sharp and emphatical,
But he made no moan or compliant, lit,
And the keen meningitis, the choking bronchitls
He bore with the grace OF SAINT.
lie vcl through the asthma and through the niaslna
Malaria Ills he denied ,,...
Moved into his house-then he dled.
One of the most tenderh hearted men II
this country lives In an adjoining county
For nearly two years he kept the crematet
remains of his first wife in handsome
jar ON the mantelpiece. A few days ago
during sleety weather, he got down the ia
and sprinkled the ashes on the front steps
for fear his second wife might slip an(
break her neck.-Norrist0Tn Herdtd.
A. M.--Dumley TO caller)--Im sorry
Jones, that cant offer you anything Il
drink. The last drop went last night.
P.M-Jones 20 Cadley)-l saw Dumle.!
! this morning.
Galley How was he:
,Jones--Oh he seemed out of spirits
Life,
Wife Gn tone of sarcastic reproach)-
What do you think John, of paying on
dollar and fifty cents for an orchestra chat
Saturday night, and only putting twenty
five cents in the contribution box Sundh
morning?
| John (the guilty one think, my dear
that it makes two-doilar bill LOOK sick! :
! Puck.
All New York Is ringing with the lates
clever remark of Mrs. Aston, which is
Never appear conscious of your hustle.
! This Injunction Is worthy TO be eDgrosse'
| in the book of fame together with the i'm
mortal words of the dying Lawrence
Don't give up the ship!"-L0,eaE citizen
The will of Edward kuenn. OF Omahs
provides that his body shall be cremated
and his ashes placed in silver urn, to b
set up over the bar of a popular saloon Il
that city He wants chance to see hi
friends trying to get where he is-P"ck.
If you want to see wildcat, simply hol'
40 the domestic article by the tail--Ne'
Hacen NeUS.
Polly Washer lin railway triin)-ls thi
seat engaged? Pretty Chino, but l am
--Omdhd World.
Husband Whose wife has unsuccessful
asked for some money)-Do you know, M
dear, the difference between myself and
mule? Wife (promptIy)-No, ! do ne'
You must ask me something easier. Hus
band--Well, the difference it, my dear, tn
mule is well heeled, while | Am not
BRAKES Kdgdzine.
II is said that Ottawa has secured tn
Mendoza organ factory, and are as tickle
AS boy with new tin whistle. Or cours
Streator could have secured the concern
so desired, but there Is peculiar fitness i
locating all the merely wind concerns
the county seat. We prefer coal mines
glass factories, railroad shops aud kindre
substantial ndustries.-1hdt Streot0r Ass.
In the spring thinner shadow
Haunts the young mans pocketbook
And he casts upon each nickle
Amuch longer, fonder look,
In the spring livelier yellow
Comes upon the butterine
And the boarder much suspects that
Things are not just what they seem.
In the spring the jolly fisher
Man doth HE him for worm;
And with JOY doth place the first one
On the hook 10 see IL squirrn.
In the spring young girls fancy
LIGHTLY furnS ~ thoughts of cream;