Western cyclone., 1887-08-12

you send us so many good customers.
French Fea
Mrs. Greene-Timothy, what have
you done with the letter that was lying
on the bureau? Timothy put it into
the letter-box, mann. Mrs. CO.
provoking! Didn't you see there was no
address on the envelope? Timothy
Yes, mann; but | thought yer didn't
want nobody to know who you was
writin' to.-Lye.
Restaurant proprietor (to chef)-"Tm
afraid you have put too much veal in
this chicken salad, Napoleon" Chef
1T is all veal, sir. Shall l Iput in a lit
tie chickenP" Restaurant proprietor
mo, certainly not. Put in some feath-
ers, and if any guest says veal to me I'll
ask him if he eyer saw a calf with
wings. "-LJe.
A Washington dentist says that man
who is brave in battle is apt 10 be
coward in dentists chair. This shows
the effect of pride. A man on battle
field has a large number Of witnesses
about him, while in dentists chair he
is practically alone. 1t is not hard 10
be brave when the eyes of the world are
on you, but in solitude most men are
towards.
4 private letter from Albert Edward
tells me that lie is coming over next sea
son as manager of 4 blonde burlesque
company, Il expect to make big
money" he writes, Il shall demand 50
per cent OF the gross receipts from all
who wish TO engage me. lIa thinks |
ought to make 50, but I don't want to
appear grasping. Love to all the folks. "
lid Bits.
"Aurelia, have you heard about those
southern girls who formed club to
boycott the young men who came to
visit them and never took them to the
theatcrs?" Aurelia-"Yes, | know all
about 1t. We girls have the same kind
Of q club" How does it Work?"
doesn't work at all. and we feel so
badly over it." "The young men per-
sist in calIing?" "No. They stay away
the wretchesm PHILADELPHIA CaU.
Mrs. Mushby-I met Mus Motherwell
this afternoon. What a tedious thing
she IS! Forever talking about the baby,
you know. \ rtha-But aunt-now
don't be cross; did it ever occur to you
that Mrs. Motherwell might think you 4
grain tiresome when you get talking
about Rover? Mrs. Mushby-That's
an entirely different thing. A dog is SO
interesting, you know.-B0St0n Post.
''Mary, suppose you sing something"
30, it's SO late, Charlie; I'm afraid it
will wake every one" That's too
bad," exclaimed Charlie, with every APP
pearance of distress. but why do you
want me to sing, dear?" she tenderly
inquired. "Why. you see," he replied,
ga fellow [ owe So to has been waiting
outside all the evening for me, and l
thought maybe if you'd sing little he'd
go away. ."-PsNSbltrg Dispatch.
''Does your wife ever pay you any
compliments?" asked Frederick Jimson
Of his friend BenderIy; Never, re-
piled Benderly., Well, mine does.
She flatters me- ''Ofteng" 20, yes,
frequently; particularly in winter" re-
piled Frederick. "Why does she taffy
you so much in winter?" "Wheneyer
the coal fire needs replenishing she
points to the fireplace and says, Fred
erick, the CRATE. '"-Zcras SJttngs.
X meets one of his friends. a
Bohemian, for whom he had procured
lucrative position. Learning that he
had just quit his employment voluntari-
ly, he asked the reason. "Iwas just 60
ing to tell you," responded the other.
'As soon as my creditors found that 1
was making some money they all
pounced down upon me. would pre-
fer tc make nothing at all than to have
so much trouble. From The French,
Mrs. Noorich-"Benjamin, l wish
you would inquire into the antecedents
of young De Twirliger, who comes here
so often to see Jane. Mr.. Noorich-
whats the matter with himP He
seems TO be q gentleman" 80 he is,
Benjamin; but what Uf his family? /
know his father was in the Legislature,
and that is all | do know" ''Wen. my
dear, we might overlook that if the
young man is honest himself. "-Rbj!G-
delphtG Cad