News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-03-03

cried Deacon Screwys, facetlously. 9
s'pose the dominic III new thing
threwout next week; fur, frum what
see bein' put down upstairs, an a-beir
brung in downstairs, shouldn't wonde
mite eff he started a bank" As
spoke he stepped nimbly back to avoi
some one, and, hitting his head agains
the lamp hanging over the center-table
knocked it straight out of its fran int
my wife s lap. Happily, it went out
and did no damage besides making
large grease pot on the carpet and sal
urating Mrs. Buttle's best gown wit
| oil.
After this episode, which seemed t
amuse everybody very much, the literar
entertainment was resumed. Mrs Bush
whack read her poem, which was il
| blank verse, and entitled 1.-THE Unknow
able Unknown" which, as near as
| could make out, was her name for tn
soul. Seth Waffies sang a solo abou
"My love with starry eyes, my lovely
Nell," while Mrs. Rogers, in virtuou
indignation, commented aloud in the
sitting room: ''HIs wife's names Mandy
l think it's pretty doin's to a ministers
house when n old feller of forty-five,
with q red mustache as big as brush
broom, an married man, sings songs
about another girl, d members listen ,
There were more recitations and more
solos, then many games of "snap- and
catch EN-, and at about half-past eleven
the OCCASION was over.
Early the next morning Nancy Falls
came to help clean up, and soon heard
her mournfully talking to my wife
''They's ham grease an mud every
where, Miss Ruttles -reg'ler grubbed in,
so no scrubbin' II fetch it out. That
mattin' in the hall is all in Sits. You
needn't go an look-it's torn frum stem
t. starn; an that lie on the front room
carpets dredful. The sofas Just ruinat-
ed, an they's two or three holes in the
carpet Deacon Sc ewys made hitchitin'
about in his chair. Nv course he
couldn't git up an move his chair. An,
speakin' Nv chairs, that little foldin'
chair Aunt Charity give you, an you
think so much of, is just squashed
Somebody got it out of the closet, an
twas in the study when Alec Eullhead
an his girl was there, an the Deacon
was t supper. I'll let anything they
squashed your chair. q hat must Ida
Tubbs do but spooA round on t top
buttery shelves. a > find your sprigged
chayney tea cups, an git 'em down for
the young folks. Tippin' round wit
the tea, she slipped down, an the amt
a handle left. Eff there's anything l do
despise, it's cup with the handle bruk
It's my 'pinion donations cost preachers
'nuf sight morn'n they come to-"
Meanwhile / discovered that havoc
had been wrought in my study. Every
parson and literary man knows how at
class comprehensively as ''his things. :"
For years | wrote on a rickety little
table, on which l had fastened a mold
ing-board. When 1 was at last the pos
SCISSOR of real desk with a green baize
top, place for my books, and numerous
drawers for my papers and fixing, felt
more elated than when the Athensville
College bestowed upon me the title of
d ID. Judge, then, of my feelings when
[ saw that Deacon Bullhead had some,
how upset my inkstand, and that there
was not only an ugly black pool on the
op of my desk, but the ink had trickled
trough crack that always comes in the
ide of It in winter, and had soaked into
everal reams of paper, besides quite
'poiling the manuscript of book on the
First Principles of Religion, which had
prepared for publication. More
over, the nib of my pet pen was broken.
While / was meditating over my mis-
Mrs. Buttles and Nancy came
upstairs "This linen II never be got
clean in the kingdom" said Nancy, on
the way up. "Most on 'em come stomp
PIN right in IS if twas a orfice or shop,
an each one on 'em fetched in planta-
tion, for red clay does stick like all pos
sessed. But now l guess we've come to
the cap-sheaf
In few minutes Mrs. Buttles called,
ing to her, found her sobbing violently
''fm going to lose you or one of the
boys" she cried. ''It's sure sign"
''The sisters took off their things
here" explained Nancy, IAN somebody
couldn't do huff prinkin' without set
tim the lamp clost up to the glass, an
breakin' it." Sure enough across the
face of the large old-fashioned mirror
was long, jagged crack. In one cor.
ner of the room was a set of shelves, on
which | had stored some Peruvian pot
terry, and . large collection of idols,
the gifts of minsionary friends. These
curiosities lay now upon the floor, a
heap of rubbish fit only for the ash bar
rel. 'The children broke 'em," said
Nancy, who had no sympathy with
small folks. ~ told Miss Bullhead she
send 'em up chamber alone;
but she said their rompin' round down
sta rs druv' her crazy. They'd never
fetched such raft of 'em anywheres
but to the pa'sonage. Now, don't cry,
Miss Buttles. l think, myself, in ordi-
nary circumstances, lookin' glass's get
ting bruk is warnin but when it hap
pens to what Deacon Screwys call a
20 casion, taint nothin' to fret nobody.
Fur my part, m thankful the house is
hull "
The provisions brought in were valued
Mt 500 and over, by the dorators.
. here were shoulders of pork at fifteen
cents per pound, which l could buy for
eleven at the shops; and bushels of
small potatoes, for which was charged
the price of fair and large ones; some
thing like an omnibus-fu of broken
victuals; and a miscellaneous assort-
ment of things edible, which l over
heard Isaac Watts describing to the
t wins in this fashion, "We're going to
have million billed dinners, with dried
apple pie and prune sass, this winter, to
pay for the donation You bet your
head, if l ever preach-if l ever do
.hey'll pay me money, and Pll buy my
OWN grub"
There was s55.61 in cash, and the fol,
owing articles:
Knitted Shawl. So 90
Moss lamp mat. .......... 2 90
Foot rest from Dobbs & Co ~ 10 90
Tidy in art needle-work w 90
Boots made by Mr.. Pepper, and
which would fit nothing but
parallelograms eighteen inches
long and tel inches broad -. 90
Total. .......... ..... $1S2 II
In the next copy of "Our Church Or