The Forrest City times., 1887-12-17
PRESSED HUMoR

The smaller the .talker" the bigger the salesman, often. - The Road
 No dentist has yet been able to pull the tooth of time --Nos0 Tors Jo"rHnl.
 The man who has "seen better days is now having very bad nights. --Loies" Citizen
 The man who has never sworn at a telephone never saw one. - Mii0ausee JoUrRal.
 How to have white hands-Let some- body else do all the work. Sop'errias Journal
 The finger that points with pride is enc rcled by diamond ring. -BostoR Transcript.
 Ability without energy doesn't count for much in thIs busy world of ours Philadelphia Call
 The thing that a woman always knows best is how some other woman ought 10 dress. S0merriiie JouradL
 The barrel act never excites the envy of c.rcus-going politicians. They know the barrel is empty. --Ne59 Hacen Nc1o5.
 In some sections there is popular belief that there cannot be wedding without hitch in t. YoHkers Gasette.
 There doesn't seem to be high estimation of value placed upon the bride who is given away. Philadelphia Call
 A man too lazy to find employment for himself always has time Q fad fault with other eople.-Nc,0 orteans Hcayuae.
 Ii Shakespeare could have forseen ohat an everlasting racket those plays would kick up he would never have written them. - Caisago J0Ur8ai.
 Poetry is like the faculty. if l may so denominate it. of being able to .voian- tarily move the ears. It is gift It cannot be taught to others. --B'H Age.
 George Gulp," sad his friend. warmly. lis one of the salt of the earth. 'I believe you replied the other man; Ines dry enough 10 be al of it Bwdette.
 New Hampshire has law to sup press lightning rod agents. California needs no such law, for amongst our other charms we have no lightning - Saa FraRctscO Altd.
 An umbrella dealer tells "how to open an umbrella without damaging iLn IL would be more important to know how to take your eyes off an um- brella without losing iL.-AorristoVa Hearld
 And here is another elew. Says Gas sius; Upon what meat doth this our Cesar feed that he is grown so great?' The writer was evidently thinking of a rasher of Bacon. Boston Transcript
 Mir. and Mrs. Old-Soak are going to the play. Mir. S.-"Ah! sweet wife, dressed in white and blue to-nightP' Mrs. s.-"Yes, and with your nose we Il represent the American flag. "- 7ot1n Topics.
 They were talking about bald headed people before jones. Why" said one of the party to him. you havn't half a dozen hairs left. Yes" was the triumphant response. but they are all mine 'i-Judge.
 A teacher in this city asked q class to write an essay on "The Result of Lag ness" and one of the bright but lazy boys in the class handed in as his composition d blank sheet of paper. - .,e,o Tofk Tribune.
 \ home -Flasherby -"Ah. Coachee, I've found things terribly dull and flat in the city today" Bus driyer-"Now who'd a thought ii? Been mindiug your own business. may hap, sir?' Pimei.
 "A pretty hard walk. wosn' it a' in- quired q citizen of one of the parading lremen. '-On the contrary, replied the red shirted hero. looking n search of bootblaek; "it was a decidedly a soft one. D. --IoRtsrs !Stats smaq When you return from an adventur- ous fishing excursion, my son, don't undertake to tell more than has hap hened to you You may put ten pound fish on six-pound pole, and, then how are you going to land him {? - Cturtesf0u Enterprise.