New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-01-22
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Government OF Switzerland Will hereafter have
monopoly OF the production and sale of alcohol
Where Ignorance IS Goodness Strict Parson-Ab
Mr. Crochet am gladto YOU have followed my IN
sructons relative to playing secular music In my
church ,, IL, 4. ..,,.u
my resignation MY conscience Will lot allow me TO be-
como a purveyor Of stolen goods.
Eli My gracious what do you mean "
"Imean that the new tunes which you insist that
stolen! Ny / my 1t can't be. What are they stolen
front"
From operas"
lOmaha World
A few days ago a man fell down well In Welsh
village and two who tried TO rescue him success
lively fell In Strangely enough, they were all rescued
alive
There IS CARPET merchant OF Vienna who has curious
collection Of ancient wooen cloths taken from ombs
many them having been wrapped around dead bodies
Crowds people these some relics and the
dealer could sell them nj high price.
"What is JIgscn In mlwning for. DO you knowi"
ITS eithaw faw his bwothaw aw his dswg One OF
'em died awst week. but WEAKLY fawget which It WAS
Flown Topics
The Bedbuo Is the namc OF paper just started in
Texas. Its articles are All biting.
swell No. Cprotendipg TO mistake for an usher,
rival whom he standing In evening dress NJ the
coax room door OF tho theatre:
"Ah Have son programme v
Swell No. Q (equal TO the occzson):
Thanks my man-Got from tue other fellow"
Deeper and Deeper.-De Trow How horribly that
tenor Is numbering his Anthem. Miss Claymore; .-,
Mss Clay That tenor Is my brother, Ethelbert,
De Trow lancng at his hymna and turning the
Ing Mozart's "iIsnelujah"
Miss Claymore Grigdly): He is!-ird-Bits
There are published in the United states l4l6o
new spapers and periodicals OF all casses or these 700
are religious and UNCONVENTIONAL papers. About 600
newspapers are published In German, and fortyt In
French The Polish Finnish and Welsh papers have the
most nnpronoubceable names "a for Instance the
enslciety and the Praeei Ltdi OF Chicago the Yyhd
pslcaa Sanono, OF Ohio. and the Waor. OF Utica.
Y. One paper published In Gaelic, one In Hebrew,
one in Chinese and one In Cherokee.
Msinterpreted.- gtonHow particularly well you
look In that attitude Miss Grace-x veriiable odalisk
look old N. b. She WAS thinking OF an obelskl
-tChicago Rambler.
Quite Relcf.-Groccr-Anybody been in while I was
New Bos-Yes female shoplifter.
"Eh Wha-what did you do r.
tried TO call the police. but she boxed my ears and
told me I'd got To behave
Then what did you do r.
" couldn't do nothing. an she empted the money
:" Great jinksi Didn't she say anything morer
"Nohin'. except she 'spected you WAS drunk again"
-Iomaha World
In the opinion OF The Boston 7anserIpt the days
nearly over when 80 man click himself into his
81 900 or So pew and thank God that he is much
There was rs much ostentation the marriage OF
Michael Dayt as II he millionaire instead Of be-
ing a warm disciple OF Henry George Speaking OF the
house where the marriage took place. 1.-THE Oakland
Tribune" says &" It was beautifully decorated with now
ers and greenery. In the entrance hail smax traed
the newellpos and the surmounng bronze figure
OF cypress with holly berries depended from the
WALL and the entrance TO the dining hall was the
word Welcome. arched against background OF ferns
The wedding bell depended from cross in the window
arch ard bell being composed OF camclas and anal
las aud the window softened with grcenery The mante
was banked In flowers and In tho fireplace over burst
Gala lilies In white against nlaidens hair were the
words Joined in One Tho wedding presents were
many and costly. among the principal ones being etc..
etc" Now for Charles Stewart Parnell.
The ways OF the hour at the clubs-Chrashey tener-
tanning friend at clubl-Sssh! We can't 80 into tho
smoking room now.
Friend-But want to smoke my dear follow.
Chrashley-Can't do II now. old man. You see. Mr..
Ttmuss don't like 70 he disturbed. Hos old steward
saved up his and bought the building and We had 70
admit him or move out i It'd Bits.