The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-12-01
was best to humor maniacs, so I thought

| was best 10 humor m1n1acS, so thought
l would draw him out.
sit seems to me as if you wouldn't
mind being in an accident" began.
''Mind it. that's what I'm looking
for! Do you think I'd ride on this mis-.
cradle road for any thing else?''
Twas clearly in for it now. Unjust
keep him talking and interested.
why do you want an ACCIDENT" ]
asked, expecting him to tell me how he
loved to hear the timbers smashing.
the glass splintering. and fairly reveled
over the scene of horror and suffering.
81 live on EN-" he calmly answered.
''but this Internal road seems to have a
grudge against me. I've been working
it for two months and must have spent
nigh on to hundred dollars Tor tickets
and haven't made cent Only last
week there was beautiful smasE-np
to this very train, and would you be-
lieve it, was almost the only passen-
ger who wasn't badly hurt"
was just about to congratulate him
membered his mental condition and
checked myself in time.
How do you manage to live on acct
dents?" inquired.
because I'm insured. Of course it
don't pay every one to get insured.
It's all lottery, but so far I've been
very fortunate Do you see that Lego"
he said. poking his right out towards
me.
lido"
"Feel the ankle and the foot"
Now. l had no desire to investigate
his anatomy, but as l was still uncer-
tain of his responsibility, complied.
at feels pretty hard" 1 observed.
after lingering it very gently.
Don't be afraid of hurting me-" he
said; Its wOodr'
"Woodr' / exclaimed.
eyes, some time before my first &C
cident-that foot was my first-a friend
persuaded me to take out an accident
policy. Twas professional billiardist.
and travelled about good deal play
ing matches and giving exhibitions.
Well, l got into a smash-up and that's
the result. got five thousand dollars
for that foot. but my trade was gone. l
couldn't move fast enough round
table TO play in public, SO l hired
room and went into the business of
keeping tables. 1t didn't pay and 1
lost nearly all my money. l wasn't
good for any thing else, and didn't
know what to turn to. One day l struck
a bright idea. AN accident took away
my living; it's only fair that accidents
should keep mer l said. So began
looking out for likely bits of road, and
it wasn't much more than n month be-
fore was on beauty. Do you see
this" he continued, pointing to the
eye, the glare of which had so fright
ened me.
Il do" 1 mildly answered.
''It's glass. Isn't it darling? So
natural it deceives every one"
at quite deceived me-" l was able to
remark, with absolute truth.
''Glad you like it. I'll give you the
address of the maker, in case You should
ever want one or two. He's away
ahead-the best in the business. Well,
that eye was another 81, 300.'
Not much for an eyer l sympa-
thetically murmured.
mo. it wasn't enough. You see they
pay $1,000 for two eyes, and l don't
think the proportion is right. But Ibid
better next time. Feel that ARM"
I did rs 1 was bid, and inquired if it
was also wood.
"Papier-macher he said proudly.
ats always ahead of wood for light
ness and strength. Made by Mason,
best in the biz. Go to him if you ever
want any thing in that line"
How much did the arm bring you?"
Five thousand dollars, and that 1
consider my best speculation.
Doesn't the insurance company OBJ
ject to your frequent claims?"
"Well, do little bit in canvassing.
so my travelling seems to be legitimate. "
Il should have thought you'd made
enough to retire
I've got very large family. and
I'm bound to do my best for EN-
but you can hardly conveniently
spare any more limbs. or even another
sye, unless it should be the glass one"
mo, that's true. Tn wanting a nice
internal injury, or some cracked ribs.
that II give me a weekly Indemnity of
fifty dollars for about six months"
But" began, and then paused, for
1 didn't quite know how to phrase my
question delicately. A happy thought
occurred to me. and I said: You've
described this insurance business as
lottery; suppose you should draw the
capital price"
you mean DEATH" he calmly OBJ
served; ''then my family would get
$4,000. l think that's fully as much
as what's left of me is worth"
And was quite able to agree with
him.-Ihe Epoch.