davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

| TIE HEALING HAND OF TINE
People used to think 1t wicked to I'D
de-" remarked the clergyman, laying
down the violin.
$50 l have heard" replied an audi
tor.
"Years ago if my congregation had
head me play they would have cons'd'
cred me beyond redemption. But they
don't mind it now.H
II suppose" responded the other
speaker, ''they have become used 10
it,"
And then the minister looked inter-
rogation points, but said nothing.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A .SURE PGEvENTIYE.-Omaha
Wlfe-"Welcome home, my dear; |
hope you did not get the burglar-alarm
you were talking Of when you left"
Returned Husband-''Indeed l did"
ooh, it's too bad; such a waste of
money"
Elbow can it be a waste. I'd like to
knowp'
why. you see, my dear, | got some
paint and painted the window frames
while you were gene, and-and don't
believe any power on earth can ever get
them open."
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

BRAVE BUT MIsUNDERsTooD.-"l
am to be at the chute tomorrow after
noon," remarked Algernon De Symp-
kins to Miss G~ushington. 81 hope
l will sec You there"
"Dear me! DO you really belong to
a rife elub7 How NIGEL l do SO hon
or a brave man. One who in times OF
danger comes forward at the call of his
country to defend our nations flag.
What club is it you belong to and
where is the shoot to bep'
De Sympkins meant the toboggan
chute, but how is he going to break the
sad news to her?
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

is what most men desire, but to keep from
filling a grave in a cemetery lot ere halt
your days are numbered, always keep a
supply of DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery" by you. When the first symp-
toms of consumption appear lose no time
in putting yourself under the treatment OF
this invaluable medicine. 1t cures when
nothing else will. Possessing, as it does,
ten times the virtue of the best cod liver
oil, 1t is not only the cheapest but far the
pleasantest to take. 1t purifes and en-
riches the blood, strengthens the system,
cures blotches, pimples. e%ruptions and
other humors. By druggists.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Thougk the clay eaters of the South
are regarded as the lowest class OF
American humanity, they are nor alone
in their strange taste, for travellers re-
port the use of edible earths IN all quar-
ters OF the globe. Clay itself Is entirely
without nutriment, being composed of
silica. alumina and water, colored by
metallic oxides, and Is very injurious to
health. In Java 1T is eaten to produce
ieanness. and with an equal disregard
of consequences slate pencils are con
sumed in our own country for the same
purpose. On the other hand, certain
81 the edible earths, such as tripoli,
shich is composed OF microscopic and
fOssilized shells Of fresh-water infusoria'
might be beneficial from the phosphates
contained
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Late Investigations indicate that the
~chlorophyIi, or green colorlng substance
of the leaves, is most likely to pick W
metallic matter absorbed by the roots
or plants. When vines have been ma
nured with sulphate of copper, most of
the metal is deposited In the leaves
merely a doubtful trace appearing in
the juice of the grapes. Tea leaves
contain much iron, doubtless due TO
the ochreous soil, on which they best
grow.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

ADJOURNED THE BEAR HUNT
"Any bear about this neighborhood2"
he inquired, as he leaned an $500
breech-loader in the hollow of his arm.
"The woods is full of 'em,n said a
citizen. zone of 'em bit my brothers.
leg off yesterday. Are We loaded for
bar, mister2"
"No. sir" replied the young man,
hastily boarding the train; ''I'm only
loaded for rabbits"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

SPONGE JELLY ROLL.-Four eggs,
. cup and q half sugar, one table,
spoon baking powder; beat the whites
separately and the sugar and the yelks
together till very light, then add part
OF the whites, then a cup Of fOur, then
beat good. then a little more flour, then
the rest of the whites aud STIR easy: put
it in and bake. Spread and roll as
quick as you can.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

BARBRCUED APPLES. Pare and
core six large apples; arrange IN a deep
dish and fill cavities with sugar and
cinnamon. Now make a sauce by mix
ing smooth two tablespoons Of lopr
and n of butter and filing up the cup
with boiling water; pour this over the
apples aud bake until tender.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09
One Cent Invested

in a postal card en- which to send you adj
dress to Hallett & Co., Portland, Maine,
will, by return mail, bring you free, par
ticulars about work that both sexes, OF all
ages, can do, and live at home, wherever
they are located, earning thereby from 50
to S25 per day, aud upwards. Some have
earned over $50 IN a single day. Capital
not required you are started free.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

LUNCH CAKEs.-Quarter pound
clarified dripping, one-quarter pound
ground rice, one-quarter pound cur
rants, one-half pound flour, one egg,
one-quarter pound sugar, one teaspoon
full baking powder, and enough milk to
moisten it. Bake In a brisk oven.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

The British methods to test the rela-
tive merits OF oil, gas and electricity
for lighthouse illumination, have re-
suited In demonstrating the superiority
of electricity over all other lights, even,
as has been generally doubted. In dense
fogs.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

BRoTLED OYSTERS. Drain select
oysters IN a celsnder. Dip them one
by u into melted butter, to prevent
sticking to the grldir0n and place item
on a wire gridiron. BroH over q clear
fire. When nicely Drowned on both
sides, season with salt, pepper and
plenty Of butter, and lay them on hot
buttered toast, moistened with a little
hot water. Serve very hot, or they
will not be nice. Oysters cooked in
this way and served on brciled beef.
steak are nice.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Young and middle-aged men suffering
from nervous debility, premature old age,
loss of memory, and kindred symptoms,
should send 10 cents in stamps for large
illustrated treatise suggesting sure means
of cure. Worlds Dispensary Medical As
ISOLATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

THE great flow of milk OF cows is
truly artificial. In a state of nature
the cow gives only the he. 9sary quaint.
ity, and gives 1T only the - ~ ssary tina
to sustain the calf. The greater and
longer yield of milk is the result of
better feeding. better treatment and
longer manipulation of the teats.
Hence to increase the yield of milk
feed and milk well. .
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

To KILL weeds and bushes in the pat
lures or along the hedges NOV them In
July, and let them remain where they
fall until they are thoroughly dry. BY
that time, or about a month, the green
sprouts from the old roots will begin to
show up through the mulching. Touch
fire to it some day when there is not
much wind and let it burn upon the
ground. A still, damp day is the best
for the burning, as it burns more
slowly, and thus the heat continues
longer on the green sprouts. o g
cutting and one burning done in this
way will kill more than cutting q half
dozen times without burning.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A CORRESPONDENT from Wisconsin
writes: | have a hen that was Matched
on the 18th of May, 1886. She laid a
nest of eggs and set, and on the 25th
of October, 1856, became the mother
Of eight nice little chickens. This is
a remarkable hen.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Mr.. ALBAUGH, Of Miami county,
Ohio, says that a grower there sowed
oats among his grapes every spring to
prevent rot, and considered it a success.
Mr.. Miller (also OF the Summit County
Horticultural Society sowed copperas
about a pound to a square robin his
vineyard early in the summer and again
later. No rot has appeared since this
treatment.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A Norwegian engineer, Herr W. c.
Moeller, finds that reindeer hair and
skin have a remarkable ~buoyancy. For
instance, a reindeer skin weighing under
two Kilograms, and rolled up with the
hair outward, will support, for ten
days, the same weight as an ordinary
cork life.belt. When used In the form OF
sllfe-belt, 1t has the additional property
OF keeping the boiy warm. A suit OF
reindeer skin will keep a man from
drowning, and Herr Moeller expects
such a dress TO supersede oilskin. Life
belts filled with reindeer hair are SUBJ
stitutes for liie-belts Of cork. Collaps-
ing boats and sledges may also be con-
structed OF the hide. The l~ife-aying
establishment at Gothenburg has pro
cured some Of these reindeer articles.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

NELLIE IS RECKLESS Now.-Motl-
Ter tcalling from the window: "Nel-
lieI Nelliel Come back The rain will
Just ruin that hat"
Nellie: "Well, never mind; it's
pretty near Spring."
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

THE following preparation applied
to the surface Will prevent any rusting
on plows or any metal surface. Melt
M ounce of resin In a gill of linseed
oil, ana when hot mix with two quarts
of kerosene oil. This can be kept on
hand and applied IN a moment with a
brush or rag to the metal surface OF
any tool that Is not gong to be used
for a few days. preventing any rust,
and saving much vexation when the
time comes to use it again.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

FIRST Bootblack: SHOW much you
got left, johnny"
Second Bootblack: 1.-TWO cents"
First Bootblack: 'Goshl How a
nickel goes when you break 1T, don't
itpu
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

BETWEEN HUsBANps.-"How is
this; you smoking2"
"As you see," with q shrug.
"But you never smoked before your
marriageYn
"No, and l have only smoked since IN
order to provoke my wife,"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Too long pulls ON a muddy road of
ten hurt the wind OF a horse. When
they begin to breathe heavily 1t is time
to give them a ''blow.n
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

AUNT-"Why have you broken off
your engagement?'
Niecs-"Because he got it into his
head that l intended to marry him."
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

POLITICAL Contributor: 'My ne (
spring poem has twenty-eight ~stanzla
all as good as that one. To who
shall l dedicate it2"
Editor: ITO your husband"
But he's dead.n
$50 much the better. He'll be abb,
to stand it,"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Stop that Cough that tickling in the throat
stop that Consumptive Conditioni
You can be curedl You can't afford to waltz
Dr. Ktlmer's Cough Cure Consumption ON
will do 1t quickly and permanently. 25 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

SKINNED milk has PARTIALLY all the
value OF whole milk on growing pigs.
The cream taken off makes it less fat
tening, but fat can be generally sup.
piled in corr or oil meal in cheaper
form than in cream.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Brown BETTY PUDDING.-Grease
a pudding dish; put into this a layer of
sliced apples, then a layer of bread
crumbs sprinkled with sugar, CHINA
mon and small bits OF butter. Bread
crumbs form the top layer. Bake.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

THERE are many farmers who seem
not to realize how much they lose dur
ing the year that a little forethought
would prevent. They will admit that
the way in which they feed a certain
lot of pigs. for instance, wastes some
of the food, but appear to think that
the loss ID 10 little each day that it does
not amount to anything. They would
be surprised If they should ascertain
how large a sun represents at the end
of the year the total of these small
losses each day. Providing a better
feeding place to save the food wasted,
and giving better shelter that will
effect a saving in the amount required
to keep the pigs gaining, will In many
places save a handsome sum during the
year.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

When adulteratlon is applied to food
the fraud is diabolical-for it is not
only objects the purse but destroys the
health of the purchaser.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

"FRED promised me the other eve.
1ing," SAID Ella to her brother George,
that he would give up tobacco during
Lent"
ibid he say anything about cab
bage2"
Why, no, certainly not"
"Oh. then, he's got you. / va him
smoking a scent cigar to-day"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

PHYsICIAN(examlning rural editor for
life insurance purposes): "Your cir
,ulation does not seem to be impaired"
Editor: "No; we're printin' $50
copies a week now, agin only 600 a
year ago."
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

"TwENTY-sIx letters in the alpha.
bet" said young Hard-up, as he went
through himself and his clothes in the
vain search for a nickel, ''there's only
Twenty-Five in mine. There las not
been a W III il for a year"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Instead of trying to keep butter, try
to find a good market for 1t, and sell
it as soon as made, to consumers. if
possible.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A liberal application OF lime upon
the land intended for cabbage will tend
to prevent the attack of the cabbage
maggot.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A uoIuqble discovery has been made,
whereby the faded ink on old parch-
ments may be SO restored as to render
the writing perfectly legible. The pro-
cess consists In moistening the paper
with water, and then passing over the
lines Of writing a brush which has been
wet in a solution of snlphide OF ammo
MIA. The writing will Immediately APP
pear quite dark In color. and this color
in the case of parchment 1t will pre-
serve. Records which were treated In
this way In the Germanic Museum in
Nuremberg. ten years ago, are stu IN
the same coalition as Immediately after
the application of the process. Qn pa
per. however, the color gradually fades
again. but 1t may be restored at pleas
ure by the application OF the sulphlde.
The explanation of ths action OF this
substance is very simple; the iron that
enters into the composition OF the ink
is transformed by the reaction into
the black sulphide.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

100 Doses One Dollar Is unexpectedly connected
with Hoods sarsaparlla, and Is true Of no other
medicine. A boale OF HOODS SarsaparilIa con-
tains 100 doses. and Will last = month, while
others will average to last not over a week. Use
only Hoods Sarsaparila.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

AT THE FANCY.DREss BALL
Ravanel (who hast become engaged the
night before to Miss Llvingstone):
miss Livingstone is looking like a
bona. flde angel to-night-is she notP"
Rival belle tngeniously): "Bony-
iedi On, Mr.. Ravanel. how could
your Now / call that really cruel"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

h Frazer is kept by all dealers. One
box lasts as long as two Of any other. Re-
ceived medals at North Carolina State
Fair, Centennial, and Paris Exposition.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

The Most Remarkable Business in the
Country.
Our citizens have observed notices in the
leading papers, from time TO time, ofa lit
lie harmless food plant called Moxie,
found in South America last year. Its fine
taste as a beverage, and ability to restore
nervous, weakly women in a few days, and
help overworked people of both sexes to do
two days work in one with less fatigue,
have made the demand SO immense that
5, 000, 900 bottles ave been sold in II
months. What will be the sale in five
years at this rate?
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

FITS: All Fits stoppedrree. Treatise and 81 trial
bottle Of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer, free %
ticazes. sendto DIT. Kline. ssl Arch 81. PhiIa, Pa
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Nothing Ike cams Kidney Cure for DropsY,
Gravel, Brght's, Heart, Urinary or Liver Diseases
Nervousness, &c. Cure guaranteed. once, s3l
Try II.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Shaking a tablecloth lately, a West
ern woman threw a fine needle from it
into her eye, the sight of which is now
lost.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

FARMS In some sections of Pennsyl-
vania maintain the fertilityof their soils
by applying 100 bushels of Stacked lime
to the acre once in five years. 1t Is
said that fields which have been SUBJ
jected to this treatment for the past leo
years are as productive now as when
the experiment WAS first tried. This
application depends for its value much
upon the original character OF the
soil. I 4144
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09
MARK TWAIN AND PROF. LoIsErTE.
The Famous Humorist Tells How PROBES
sor Loisette Taught Him TO I'M
nrnYe His Memory.

From the AeU iWN y"
The success which Professor Loisettes Mem
ory school. No. 23T Fifth Ave. N, y, Is meet
IND does not occasion any surprise to those &c
ouainted with It's advantages, ana tue heaIy
Endorsement given by prominent men 70 the
profes,or's methods OF Improving the memory
ara a guarantee that these advantages VII
soon become known far and wide. PROFESSOR
Ioisette il doing a noble work for the METROPOLIS.
college professors generally aHd he best known
nhysfclans of the country arc IN nearly aveofd
win Pr5fessor Loiseite- Writers, lawyers mu-
siclans and representatives OF all classes, botl
nr,fessional ana business men, are puPns III the
sch 10 ere learning BY eorrespondence, anu
are oulckI discovering what they nave never De
fore nnderslood, how T~etentiye the mem ~ may
bc made. one reason is that ne uses no ma.
c6inery. localities or other devices OF artlhcial
sysfems Marx Twain has been a pnpi OF the
Professor. and this is what ne says ABOUT nun;
stProfessdr Loisette did not create a memory IoI
me: no. nothing OF the KIND. And yet ne az ".
ma icnnt amounted 10 Ee same thtng-he proven
to me that / already had 9 memory, a tahae
which / was not aware OF TILL then. | had before
been able, IKE most people. 10 store up anu iose
Things In inc dark cellar OF my memory, ent rs
sholeed me hop "a hight up the Getdr. IL is INC
adherence. TO change the figure, between naVlhg
money where You can't collect II, anu hdpalg 70
IN uoi, pocket The information cost me PM 1T
tie, vet value 1t at a prodigious figure"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

A physician said: 'T've tried all and
know the Hop Porous Plaster is the best one
made" 25 cts.
Don't be swindled- Hop Plasters are the
best. Hops, Gum and Burgundy Pitch
united. % cts.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

IN PRACTICES mixed ration, made
up of equal parts of straw and good
hay, with a little grain added, will be
found a feed on which any animal will
thrive. If the hay be clover all the
better, as this will better meet the
deficiency of the straw. Fed in this
way, stock eat the straw as well as
the hay, and the digestible material.it
contains is equally fodder. We know
hat straw fed alone continuously to
the same animal is OF little value.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Ad0ctor wRo has had much experience
in treating labors in gas works avs
that persons who have becomeinsensibIe
from breathing Illuminating gas viii
usually revive after the administration
OF a few drops of aeetic ether In water
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

1t is not safe to turn cattle into
asture upon wet clover. as it produces
n them Indigestion, which sometimes
prove fatal.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Major Alvord states that clover put
nto the silo alone produces q pntrld
liquor at the bottom of the silo.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Blackberries are not always ripe when
hey are black. Leave them on till
hey part readily from their stalks.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

ROYAL GLUE mend anythingl Broken Chi
ma, Glass, Wood. Free Walls at Drugs & Gro.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

In transplanting or setting out rasp.
berry plants care should always bt
taken to keep the roots moist.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

During January fully LOCO Sled
leads Of bullheads were caught ON the
borders OF Beaver Dam Lake, Wis
consin.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

No Opium In Piso's Cure for Consump-
ON. Cures where other remedies fail. 25c-
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09
b tbe paintInppu

"I'll promise to look for a painter
and ask him how much he'll take to go
over the house one coat, and If he's a
responsible party and his figure is rea-
sonable aud the weather holds good for
painting, why. I'll Say, suppose |
put in three new window-lights and let
the painting go?"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

ALBERT Nickerson, of Sag Harbor,
l.. l., is IL years old. Every day he
sits down to the table with his father
and mother, grandfather and grand
mother, and great-grandlather and
two Observation-Disclosures.
PROFITABLE ORANGE GROWING
The Savannah Nelcs of a recent date
relates: An Ocala drm sent seventy
five boxes of oranges to a Macon (Gs.)
commission house, and in return re-
ceiyed e~ighty-two cents in postage
stamps.
"A crowd OF Prohlbitionist workers
In Portland, Oregon, gathered In front
OF a saloon, and sang with great vigor
y campaign song, ats Water, Not
Beer, we Want" until the saloon
keeper, taking their request literally,
turned the hose on them.
"A lightning adder gave an exhib-
itlon in a public place in Lansing,
Michigan, and gained great admlra-
ton by his rapid work with columns
OF figures. After he had taken up a
collection and disappeared it was dis
covered that his totals were all wrong.
Every one Of the six daughters Of
Q grocer named Schlecht, in New York,
Is sad to have eloped IN turc. Aunie,
the eldest, ran away when she was 81
years old, Amelia when she was IA,
Caroline and Meta when they were
Z. Adeline when she was 10. and
Horteusia. a few weeks ago, When she
was - Edward Russell, the hero Of
the most recent elopement, has been
cent TO prison for maFrylhga child.
In order TO render glue insoluble in
water, 1t is only necessary to add a little
potassium bi-chromate TO The water in
which 1t Is dissolved, aud expose this
glued part to the light. One-lftietr
part OF the biehromate will suffice.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

APPREcIATIvE.-A resident of the
provinces had come to spend a few days
with some relatives IN Paris. Becom-
ing infatuated with the gay capital, he
remained until patience on the part of
his hosts ceased to be a virtue. Too
polite TO openly demonstrate, they
threw out a hint. Don't you think,
my dear fellow" they said to the bore,
"that your wife and children must
miss your" mo doubt. Thanks for
the suggestion. III send for them"
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

Attention to trifies constitutes per-
lection in any business. Constant vlgi
lance is the price of success in dairy
ing. ~
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

TRUE TO THE LAsT.-A groceryman
was dying of consumption.
"Ah," sighed his pastor, "the sands
Of life are slowly running out, but he
sweetens hls'1ast hours with the conso-
Iations Of religion"
"Ugh," gruuted a deacon who had
bought groceries of him, ''the ruling
passion strong in death; he still puts
sugar in his sand, / see."
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09
The Oft Told Story

OF tho peculiar medicinal merits OF Hoods sarsa.
parilla is fully confirmed by the voluntary testi-
mony OF thousands who have tried IL. Peculiar in
the combination. proportion and preparation Of It's
Ingredients. peculiar in the extreme care with
which st In put up, Hoods SarsapariHa accom-
pllshes cures where other preparations entirely
fail. Peculiar In the unequaled good name 1t has
made at home. which is q tower Of strength
abroad, I" peculiar in the phenomenal sales 1t las at
tained, the most popular and successful spring med
icine and blood purifier before the public to-day Is
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

The average turnlp crop in England
last year was sixteen tons per acre. In
Scotland it was seventeen tons.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09

1t pays to MANURE the cabbage land
literally. The more manure applied,
the better crop may be expected.
The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-09
Hoods ~SarsapariHa

VERY LIBERAL.-"What repairs
will you make If I take the house?'
she asked, after looking 1t all over.
"Why, ma'am, I'n be very liberal ,
"But what will you dor"
swell, I'll see that those two panes
of glass are put in, fix this front step,
QDd-b