Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-08-11
A "FUNNY" PERFORMANCE.

/
Tom and Will Lathbury were in the
kitchen making kites. They had been
busy a long time whiting out the
sticks for the kite frames and putting
them together, and had been SO quiet
and good that Hannah, who was put
ting down piece of oil-cloth, had said
again and again to herself, Those
boys are just splendid to-day" Later
in the day she changed her mind.
''Hannah," said Will, evil you make
us some paste? We're all ready now,
all but the finishing"
'.Not just yet, boys, want to finish
this"
"Oh, we'll help you, Hannah
''Much help you'll be-" But still
Hannah was too good-natured to re-
fuse, and soon the boys, with their ham,
mers in hand, were down on their
knees beside her.
''There," she said, pushing them the
dish of tacks, ''help yourselves, but
don't put them too near together. 1
expect you'll bother me more than
you'll help" And they did.
Tack, tack, tack, went the three
hammers; what fun they were all hav-
ing! But if the fun could only have
stopped there!
Now, whether Will proposed it or
Tom never was known. 1t was one of
those funny things boys think of occas-
ionally; at any rate it was something
Hannah never dreamed of, or else she
would never have jumped up so sud-
denly to shut off the stove, for rip, rip
went her bingham apron, hem off,
band off, and all, for those naughty
boys had nailed it to the floor.
"You two horrid boysr' said Han
nah, ''that's enough to provoke saint;
you're the very worst boys in the
world, and I am going to tell your
mother" It was too bad, and the boys
felt $50 sorry
They had not meant s'any thing like
that" boys never mean any thing
wrong, and how did they know those
few tacks would ''hold sop''
But Hannah lost no time in telling
their mother, and pretty soon they
heard mamma going to papa's study.
''Whew!' said Sam, ''the jokes all
spoiled now"
Perhaps Mrs. Lathbury raped some
what louder than usual, for her hus-
band said ''come i'm so quickly she
was in his room and asking his advice
almost before she knew it.
Now Mr.. Lathbury was very busy
writing sermon, and hardly knew he
had said 'come in" so when his wife
told him of the boys naughty trick, and
asked him what she should do, he an
swered somewhat dreamily, and yet to
the point:
''This is indeed question of vital
Importance
''Why, yes, certainly it is, Richard,
and I want your help this time.''
"Help, what, what are you talking
about, my dear?
''Oh, dear!'' said Mrs Lathbury, but
added, "never mind, Richard, see
you are very busy, and will come in
again."
Every well, my DEAR" and Mr. Lath-
bury went on, Sin order to arrive at
conclusion we must but Mrs Lath-
bury gently closed the door and heard
no more.
Il wish Richard had been less busy,
but do not feel ought to disturb him
how, and yet what shall dop"
Still Mrs Lathbury, though she was
worried herself, would not "worry
Richard At last she thought of
some thing, though she hardly knew
whether it would do.
Boys" said she, going to the stairs,
'.boys, come here
..It's coming said Will.
"Of course" answered Tom, "when
troubles coming it's always boys with
mamma, and Thomas and William
with papa"
"Well, I am ashamed, aren't you,
Tom?'
"Why, yes! Who wouldn't be? But
that won't save us now"
Boys" said their mother, as they
entered her room, chow much money
have you in your banksP''
Well that was a queer question,
like s'the talk they had ex-
pected, to say the least.
GIVE got thirty-fve cents in mine,"
said Will, land 1 guess Toms got
more"
mo, haven't; took out ten for
marbles the other day when papa
didn't have amy change and I've
only thirty-three.'
'.All right, that will do said man.
ma.
Well, wasn't she growing queerp"
'Now, boys, want you to take this
money, sixty-eight cents, and go down
to Mr.. Wood's store and buy me enough
bingham for two aprons; let me see,
yes, five yards will answer. then there'll
be enough for strings and all. Then
buy two German silver thimbles
to fit your fingers, you can get
them for five cents apiece, and then
come home and I will tell you what
else to do"
Then the boys began to see ahead
little, and somehow they felt queer"
and Will said. going out:
..Tom, mammals too much for US
this time!'
Mr.. Wood waited upon the boys with
pleasure, and thought nothing strange
when they bought the gingham-though
the boys themselves hardly knew ging-
ham from calico, only, as Tom said,
bingham turns, YOU KNOW and as