Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-09-01

When i went TO dinner TWO Sucn
gentlemanly little fellows Uet mo at
at the door and held up their sweet
and rosy faces for kiss, hadn't the
heart to disturb tho unusual serenity.
and thought it best to overlook their
little (?) pranks that time. please,
papa, will you forgive u.s." each little
boy had SAID, and Well. perhaps
you can understand how it erded.
Alphonse is five years old aud Del
mont three and half. and the other
day my wife said it was quite time
they were in Sunday-schooL 1t was
almost too much to risk them in =
class with other children. SO she de-
cided to experiment by taking them to
church herself.
l suggested Headache" but when
she looked at me SO reproachfully. and
remarked: LAS the twig is bent. :"
ETC., and l knew what she thought of
my indisposition, concluded to do my
duty by my family, let modification
and every thing else stand in the way.
Our pastor overlook us, and being
very fond of children, he addressed
many of his remarks to our young
hopefuls. In fear and trembling l
listened. All went well till my wife
asked Alph to tell the minister the
name of the hymn they sang each
night after their little prayer, and he
told him it was Susan, sweep the
kitchen out"
My wife now says she will not allow
Mary to sing as she goes about her
work, and has another argument in IA
vor Of early training.
Every thing in church was so new
and strange, they sat almost notion
less and in Open-eyed wonder during
the first part of the service, and l was
congratulating myself upon finding
one place where l could rest, when they
slipped from the seat to some hassocks,
and Julia whispered: 1.-The little angels
are so tired
DIR. B was trying to elucidate
scientific ploblem, and l was wonder
ing how many of the congregation
were asleep, when a familiar odor
reached my nostrils. glanced at my
wife. and l saw that my sense of
smell had not deceived me, and with a
mothers intuition she had discovered
the culprits. Those little wretches had
cigars. and Alphonse had evidently
lighted one and taken a Whit, while
Del was chewing the other I'll not
attempt to tell you how we got the
nauseated children home, or how hard
l tried to convince my wife that l
hadn't smoked since l could not say
how long, and that those matches and
cigars that Alph had purloined from
my overcoat that was lying on the pew
seat must have been put there by some
other fellow. / soon felt that it was
useless to talk, for even if could have
proved it she would have deduced from
the occurrence an argument in favor of
heredity just the same, for could not
deny that had been somewhat addict
ed to the use of the delectable weed.
Monday went about my business,
feeling sure the limp-looking and
white-faced boys wouldn't get far from
home that day, and was somewhat sur
prised to hear my wife's distracted
call: us it you, John?" and answered.
rather impatiently: Eyes. it's john"
and felt a little inclined to curse the
telephone inventor, when she said:
Have you seen the boys?" "No;
and l don't want to-" was my savage
answer
An hour later there was another call,
and somebody said: Smith, the baby
is lost, and your wife is nearly frantic"
Those boys of mine had completely
demolished my "wheel'' some weeks
before. and l had not replaced it; but
Jameson, clerk who is about my build,
kindly let me his, and l rolled away
like boy on race-course.
Doors wide open; not person about
the premises; even the dog missing.
A ringing of the telephone bell was
momentary relief, but when l listened
to the voice of the city marshal, and
learned that several of the police force
were securing the city for my children,
and my wife was in commissions ut the
station" where she went thinking
that some one must have found and re-
ported her babies, tore my hair-or
rather tore through the street at
John Gilpin gait. with such grave
upon me I must ad here
to the strict truth; hyperbole. even met
aphor. shall be strictly avoided.) Poor
Julia! Mary had taken the baby out for
an airing, and leaving her for one mo-
ment to speak to friend, returned
Immediately. she says, to find neither
baby nor carriage.
The girl came home nearly wild, and
my wife was quite so; she had just
missed the boys. and telephoned to me,
''to get my cruel answer" The whole
was aroused in vain,
and then my wife herself went to the
police station, Mary accompanying