Morning journal and courier., 1887-11-05
FORTUNATE.

We are fortune tellers. That is, we can tell fortune when we see it.-Puck.
 No class of men are so fond of keeping their spirits up distillers.-Detroit Free Press.
 A strictly honest man never makes an ex- cuse. He either confesses or denies-PhiIe- delphia Call.
 Poetry is like the faculty, if I may so de- nominate it, of being able to voluntarily move the ears. It is gift. It cannot be taught to others.-Bill Nye.
 "Throw brick at that cat, mother" said the sick boy; Cor, in other words, Rock me to sleep.'" Whether the boy recovered or not we have never been able to learn, but he probably died.-Oil City Blizzard.
 Scotchman-''My mother married at 14. ? Spaniard-"And mine at 13." Mexican "Mine at 12." Irishman-'Shure that's nothing. My mother was married before I was born. Flown Topics.
 A learned college professor of this city de- nounces the condemnation by theA. B. F. M. of the souls of the heathen who died in ignor- ance of the gospel as "damnation without representation. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
 Physician-"Patriek, don't you know bet ter than to have your pigpen so close to the house!n Patriek-F'An' phy shud oi not sor?' It's unhealthy" ''Be away wid yer nonsense. Sure the pig has niver been sick a day in his life. ."-Omaha World
 Kate-"Shall we go by the elevated or Broadway cara" Agnes-'I always go by Broadway car" Kate-''But, dear, it is much slower" Agnes--''Yes, know that; but, you see, am brunette, and the dark orange car sets me off best. Pluck.
 "The quickest way to make an enemy of a man is to lend him $5," said philosopher sententiously; and then. with a halfcon cealed show of eagerness, he inquired: "Isn't there ,bn iI1o to make enemy of me?"-SomervilIe Jour- nal.
 "Is time moneys" asked gentleman of jeweller.
 F'It is said to be-
 F'Well, I thought so, and here is an evil denee of it. I bought this watch here six months ago and it has gained time enough to pay for itself '-Carl Pretzel's Weekly.
 'FI should really like to write something that would be read after I am dead" said a literary man who had had little success with his recently published works. "Well, what's the matter with you writing your will?" replied friend. "I'll see that it is read after you are gone."-Yonkers States man.
 Miss D'Hocquetonville-''N it is impos- sible, sir. l never can be your wife" Smith -'I have youth, wealth, social standing and love you.'' Miss DHocquetonville (.huddering)-'But your name!' Smith "Ah, rememberl am of the Stuyvesant- Von Sippe- Van Rensselaer, -Roose velt-Conger- Schuyler-Smiths." Miss D'Hocquetonville -"Henry, relent I am yours!"-Judge. ''Tis near election time,' said he As by the papers you may know, Iove:
 Suppose then that we vote to
 If shall kiss you ere go love?''
 The gentle maiden blushed and said T think it is foolish notion, But, if you wish it, go ahead
 I'll vote with you upon the motion" He put the question, thundered Aye" Her 'No," low spoken, passed unnoted: He hugged and kissed the maiden shy The moment after he had voted. "Oh, John, voted no " said she. T know you did my darling Kitty, But women cannot vote, you know, Excepting for the school committee" Boston Courier.