Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-15
BRIGHT BITS.

TRUSTING TO CBASTs-Expecting to get
70 heaven by singing hymns.-2eoas Sifttngs.
TR NStENr DOCTOR has this sign on the
door OF his office on one OF the main streets OF
Plttsheld: "Wnl Bes Hear fridays Il Safer
uys Onely.-HadsOss RtJJa6kcda.
A ROCHESTER, MERCHANT always hides him
sell when he sees a certain advertising agent
coming into The store. He calls 1T an all
vertising dodge. ster n Ss-EeDress-
MAJ. LIE MAsHANT-How charming! a.
so delightfully."- played a7-such lovely
composition! al only heard the last few
Punch.
"WHAT shah write a6out?" inquired the
Would,b poet.entering the editorial sanctum.
- You had better right about face" replied
the editor. pointing to the door, Y0flksFS
Statesman.
IHE first bluebird of the season put in an
appearance at Chicago. He wore an ulster.
had arctlcs on his feet. pint of whisky IN
hle pocket and a mustard plaster on his chest.
PHI ddejDhid CAL.
WHlTE--W hat kind OF a speaker is Blackp
Gray--Oh, like whale.
Whlte-Libe whale! don't understand.
Gray-Why, he's a good spouter.-BoSton
Budget.
DIMLY lighted little room
A lover andihis lass
low sweet voice within the gloom,
Il guess Wen give up gas"
- AdTLef' 8 E0sdr.
my HUSBAND is a very absent-minded
man." said Mrs. Siowboy. He very often
taxes one thing for another"
II know 1t, said Mr.. Badman. II saw
him taking hot toddy last night and he said
he took 1t for cold."-BroOk1Yn Ed0ie.
CUSTOMER ITO restaurant mau)-Boy!
Restaurant man-Dont call me boy, sir !
Pm no boy sir, and won't be called boy sir,
by NOBODY. sir
Customer-Then do as you'd be done by,aud
don't call this old mutton ''lamb" any more !
-Ie1ds StTttngs.
How delightful it will be, Cicely. my dear.
VI course you have an invitation to the
theatre parry. ana we are all to leave Off our
hats" said her friend, eXcltedly, as she
dropped in for her morning call
Yes, have an invitation, TO be sure, but
hardly think 1t worth while To IN in the hat
reform movement myself" Certainly not.
L ought TO have remcm uered that your hat is
all new" Tor the first time in two years.
There was no ''avplauser when that theatre
cal party game ms HdrV rd psf.
"WHY do you want to run for Alderman? ~
was asked OF young man afflicted with the
mania last night.
ITO humble family pride, my dear boy"
was the answer. II think I'm pretty good
fellow. and SO does my family. After the
election is over am going 10 compile all the
bad things said about me and with ooh-Bah
exclalm:' An, amiy pride, take that! Every
time j get too exalted opinions of myself |
shall take that prescription. 1t will prevent
my floating intot the either some time."-
E4mGd Gdse,te. ~ ~
AMERICAN BEEF PACKER-Weli. what's the
matt r DOwy
JUbber's Agent-Matter enough. The Lon
don firm represent are contractors for the
English army. and you've got them into a
peck of trouble.
''How sO?n
Zone of the soldiers at Aldershot found an
old briarwood pipe in the of American
beef issued to him and made comp amt"
''See here; DO you Enghetmen think we're
golug - pack new smeerschaum and d
puundof Lone Jack in every can of Amer
can beei2 Wen fight first" --OmGAa " i'd.
OMAHA BOY-Say, Sis, you know Mr.. Nice
fellow begged your pard N for eppIn' on
your dress an tearin big hole in 1t?
Omaha Miss-We ell, what of it?
And YOU said it didn't matter a bit, an
you WAS glad of it?'
Yes"
" Cause you liked to sew, an you didn't
know what you'd do with yourself If you
hadn't anything 10 nlend?'
-" ell. what of 1t. say?"
ut wasn't MIR. Nicefellow that stepped on
your dress. 1t was me?''
"Uh! you hOrrid. awkward little wretch,
III skin you alive. "-OAHh W,r d.