The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-11
BRIGHT BITS.

AS yet old Colorow can say, mo pent up
Ute taker contracts my powers. '-PittSburg
Chronicle.
WHY can't the duelists Of to-day be fair and
square about il and designate as weapons
"Chins, at two miles:''-NdshUtle american.
A CLERGYMAN who preached in a prison not
many Sundays ago began his discourse with:
MY friends, am glad to see so many of you
here this morning Cedar Rapids Gossip.
MAGIsTRATE-Were you ever arrested before?
Pr!soner-Once before. your honor.
Magistrate-What was the charge!
Prisoner-Ien dollars and costs.--Philddei-
piid NeIcs
OK THE Train.-Old lady-Conductor, / hope
there amt going TO be a collision.
CONDUCTOR guess not.
Old LADY, want you to be very keerful I've
got two dozen eggs in this basket TerGs Sift-
ingS.
JOHN, John, there's burglar in the house,
hear him at the cupboard"
Where you put that pie?n
Yes. o, John, where are you goinge''
I'm going down to rescue him. "-WdShinq-
ton Critic
''No''
You should have put yourself in the hands
of your friends
$50 did But sharpley did better. He put
his money in the hands of his. boston Tran
script.
MorHER-Has Mr.. Goslow offered himself
yet?
Harriet-No; not yet: but 1 think he will
soon. Last night he said he was looking
around for wife, and asked me very partcu-
larry if thought | could earn enough to venture
to marry on.-LUe.
HuNTER-Can you tell me what is the funniest
part of dog?
Farmer-fiis tail, guss It's such wag
NO; the funniest part of dog is his lungs 8"
How do you make that out:"
They are the sea- of his pants, don't you
see. "-Terds StttiagS
TEAcHER-Bobby, what do you know about
the ocean,
Bobby Qoudly)-Big ships sail on it,
Teacher-And what do they do on the big
ships when the sea runs high in stormy
weather.
Bobby-Drink brandy and lemon juice.-Toarn
Topics
PAPA, raise the blind won't your" languidly
requested Maud, as the growing gloom set
tied over the 9th page of Armand, the Terri
bic.
Papa was snoring mildly, but he managed to
grunt: ION queen highg Dye take me for a
chump?" and the tired spirit was again waited
into glorious dreamland. gItdHttoH ReptLb-
Licdn.
so you call this ere tavern a modern hotel
with every convenience, do you:" said Farmer
Furrow to the clerk of an uptown hotel.
I'VE fatter ourselves that this house is emf
nently worthy of that title suavely replied the
clerk, with Chesterfieldian courtesy.
pounded the counter with his horny fist ''why n
thunder don't you have doughnuts and cider on
the table once'n while, anyhow!"-H0tet Mail.
JUDGE-Of course you have an excuse ready?
Prisoner-I have your honor was full, but
it was for medical purposes Whisky is good
for snake bites
Judge-Were you bitten by snake?
PrisonerNo,- but. your honor, IAN ounce Of
prevention is worth pound of cure
Judge see, see. But you should have con-
fined yourself to the ounce. fine you $40 for
prescribing medicine without a diploma
Omaha Herald.
LOOK Out for Him Next Year-Farmer Du-
senbury-Ies, Liza Jane, the Perkinses kinder
h ocked US aout on summer bOarders this year
with that min raj spring they fixed up with rock
salt an alum, but were agon' ter git the
craowd next year, an don't you fereit it.
Liza Jane-Haow re ye goin' ter manage it,
'Liiah?
Farmer Dusenbury-Tm goin ter have a b'lin'
sprng aout in the caow pastur, haunted room
up in the attic and Washington's headquarters
right here. When Lijah Dusenbury humps
hsself b'gosh, faint safe ter buck agin' him.
lid Bits