Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-07-20
A Word With the Girls.

Even secular paper may be allowed to
preach little on Sunday morning and to.
day we have word with the girls. We
would rather talk to them privately, but
circumstances beyond our control'' stand
in the way of private interviews with our
fair young friends and we must reach them
through the newspaper. We may be al
lowed to say that we have special interest
in the girls, for very good reasons of pri-
vate character which we need not mention
here.
In the first place we have word to say
about fulsome praise, and we are very sorry
to say that many of the newspapers indulge
in such things at the expense of the girls.
1t is in very bad taste, it seems to us,
and is custom that needs reform. To
some ladies these things are very distaste-
full, and girls who like such things should
not have their passion for notoriety graft
fed. 1t is a very easy matter to spoil
girl whose tendency is to be vain. If
girl has genuine talent, then it encourages
her to have it recognized and gives her q
stimulus to cultivate it. But it does girl
much harm to be referred to constantly in
the newspapers as the beautiful and charm
ing and accomplished Miss So-and-so. The
fact is that many people estimate them
selves entirely from the standpoint of other
sess this or that accomplishment or virtue
they never stop to inquire whether or not
the compliment is deserved, but accept it
as fact, because somebody says so, and
thus deceive themselves. Let us suggest
to our fair friends that they examine them
selves very carefully when a compliment is
paid them and ascertain whether or not it
is deserved. 1t won't do to humbug our
selves in this matter. Then again girls
should look at the motive of compliment.
Flattery is a very dangerous means which
designing men sometimes use for purpose,
and many girls are deceived thereby. So
when 'Howery" words are indulged by
good looking young men, look out for the
thorns.
Here's another word of caution. Chiv-
airy has given to woman very high posi-
tion in society, but women must maintain
that position for themselves. Men are apt
to take all the privileges women allow, and
sense) must not in any way compromise her
dignity of character. Prudence is very
ugly word and suspicion is a crime in wo-
man. She ought to be innocent and conf
dental, but there is a bound to such things.
We do not want to offend by using plain
language, but we must say that woman's
person is sacred and she must not allow her
innocence or confidence to betray her into
any compromise on this score. This is too
delicate a matter to be talked about, but
we must impress the fact that there are no
exceptions to this rule. We have nothing
to do with people who have entered into an
honest engagement to get married. In
such cases we believe custome has allowed
matters to take their own course. Society
engagements for convenience do not count,
however.
Once more. intellectual culture is
means of grace. Women who read and in
form themselves can entertain their visitors
in such a way that they impart benefit to
all who come in contact with them, and
people who can entertain themselves in an
intellectual way are not apt to get into
trouble. Men would be coarse and vulgar
indeed if it were not for the refining inffu-
ence of women. A great responsibility,
therefore, rests on the women of the land.
They are not doing their duty in society
unless they vindicate the purity and refine
ment of their sex, and unless they make
men better with whom they come in con-
tact. But the fact is that unless man is
improved by his intercourse with women
he is sure to become more deprayed.
We can't talk as plainly as we would on
this point, but the idea is that women must
COuuuCL bu0mS6lVcS III suCu d way dS W
make men reverence and respect the sex,
or men will be the worse for visiting them.
Once more. 1t is very unfortunate for a
woman to have too much attention and she
is in fair way to be spoiled when she en-
courages the indiscriminate attention of
young men for their numerical value. It
ought to be rare privilege for a man to
visit a good woman and she ought to see
to it that he is worthy of her confidence and
respect before she encourages his atten-
tions. If women would require this quail
fcation, men would soon learn to qualify
themselves for their society, but where no
qualification is required, many men will not
trouble themselves as to their fitness. Wo-
men could do much to improve the mind
and morals of young men, if they would,
and we have heard it said that many young
men are not much better than their lady
friends make them. What responsible
ity!
Finally. The modest dignity of woman
is all the protection she requires and no
man is going to offer offences to lady who
ears an air of self-respect and womanly
dignity. Such women can take care of
themselves and they are doing Gods SER
vice in the world. 1t is the duty Of all
women to make men better, and many of
than, aro doinU IL - D1npiUe Re0isfer