The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1887-02-11
Mr.. AND MRS. nowsER.
What the Good Lady Has to Say About
Her Husband,s Tinkerlng Abilities.

What the Good Lady Has to Say About
Her Husbands Tinlzering Abilities.
The knob on the cellar door came
loose the other day, and the girl at the
same time reported pane of glass out
in the kitchen and broken caster on
the extension-table. I asked Mr.. Bow
ser if he wouldn't send up man to
make repairs and he replied:
Il was just wishing for CO..
busy mvse'f = -"neunlng 70
- uU Tor few days. I'll
get some tools and go through the
house and repair and improve"
I ventured to remind him that he
spent the best part of two days and
nights repairing the leg of stand,
and that it fell down and broke a fif-
teen dollar vase as soon as he had pro-
nounced repairs complete, and he put
his hands under his coat-tails, called
up an awful frown, and replied;
MRS Bowser, when | don't know
what I'm about I'll look for you to adj
wise mer'
In about an hour after leaving the
house he returned with six files, three
gimlets, a screw-driver, two hammers,
a brace and several bits and drills, a
bottle of cement, three pounds of nails,
a putty-knife and putty, and various
other things, while paint, varnish and
brushes soon followed him.
''The whole outfit cost but $780,"
he explained, as he opened the bundle
with a smile of pride on his face, land
1 can keep the house in repair for two
or three years. I'll do a hundred dol
lars worth of repairing in the next
week"
Mr.. Bowser made his start on the
broken window pane. He got chair
outdoors to stand on, knocked out the
remnants of the pane and then put in
three hours work removing the old
putty. This was not accomplished un-
til he had cracked two other panes,
broken a sleeve button and cut himself
in three places. Then he put in the
new light, used shingle nails for brads
and spread on the putty until it would
have fallen off by its own weight had
he not braced it with sticks.
''WelI, what do you think of thatP''
he asked as he came out to look at the
job.
L. u VIC uSCu iOuo VI putty
Certainly. A glazier would have
stolen half of it. L don't propose to
be stingy with my own family"
"Well, it may do"
''May do! Mrs. Bowser, what do YOU
know about glazing. anyhow! don't
say that I ever learned the trade, but if
there are three men in Detroit who'll
beat that job I'll eat up all the putty!"
That evening he discovered that all
of the kitchen chairs were exactly three
fourths of an inch too high, and he
sawed the legs off while the cook held
them down on their backs. AS result
No. 1 tipped backwards. No. 2 leaned
forwards, while No. 3 was what sailors
would call on its beam ends to STAR
board. Invent to bed leaving him try
ing to solder leak in an old tin dipper,
and next morning I found four holes
burned in the kitchen floor, two in the
leg of his pants, and drippings of SOL
der all over the stove and the sink,
while the dipper had been mashed fiat.
/ Breakfast was hardly over before he
found door which sagged. He got it
/ off its hinges and planed away, and he
/ got it back on and squinted and meas
ured and reflected, and after half a
/ days work he had an air-hole at the
/ top, a rat-hole at the bottom, and the
! lock so far away from the jamb that it
was useless.
In the afternoon l went out, and Mr.
! BOwser laid down the carpenter tools
and took up the varnish brush. The
Varnish was too thick to spread and he
thinned it down with kerosene. The
wood work of my new sewing machine,
! which was, of course, oil finish, re-
ceived his first attention, and he had
such good luck that he tried his luck
on the parlor mantel, the baby's crib,
the wood work of the parlor chairs and
the spare room bedstead. When I
reached home he was trying to con-
vince the cook that all the kitchen floor
needed to keep itself clean for the next
six months was coat of varnish.
''Mr. BOwser, what on earth have
you done?' I exclaimed as I reached
home and realized the extent of the
damage.
''Why, added five hundred dollars to
the looks of our furniture" he proudly
replied.
1t cost him ten dollars to hire a man
to remove the compound he had brushed
on, but meanwhile he rendered our
burglar-alarm useless for a week try
ing to run an extra wire to the barn.
He tried to repack a valve in one OF
the radiators, and we got steamed out
of the sitting room and had to send for
a steam-fitter. He tinkered with the
front doOr-bell, and it doesn't ring yet,
except as an agent pulls it. He spoiled
three locks, got the gas to leaking,
bursted water-pipe and laid the cook
up for week by splitting hot lead in
her shoe. Then he packed up his tools
and carried them to the barn, and re-
turned with smiling face to say to me
MRS. Bowser, if any thing else gets
out of order let me know A stitch
in time saves nine, and there is a deer
satisfaction in knowing that you are
not dependent on Tom, Dick and Harry
I only wish that had seven houses OF
my hands to repair. "-Detr0it Ere,
Press
The string of pearls worn at thu
opera in New York by Mrs. William X
Vanderbilt attracts more attention thar
the singers and ballet. 1t consists o
346 oriental pearls, ses in a COLDER