The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-03-19
DANGERS OF ETIQUETTE.
why Biii Nye Has No Political Aspirations
Of n National Character.


sincerely and honestly believe that
the matter of official etiquette and pre-
ccdencc at Washington is becoming n
matter of such grave Importance, and
holds so many elements of horror for
those who might otherwise aspire to
the chief Office within the gift of the
people, that it will ultimately be the
means of keeping many good man
out of the presidential chair. It is,
therefore. with the gravest apprehen-
sions that look forward to the time
when our forests shall be denuded and
our presidential chair deserted and un-
squat upon.
What can be more desolate to the eye
or more depressing to the heart than "
forest devoid of trees or presidential
| chair, worn smooth by past greatness
and polished by sedentary power. de-
serted at last, with none to soOthe its
lacerated heart or WOO the horse-hair
| back to its torn bosomp
We are prone to think now, because
the elm, the oak, the chestnut and the
hickory wave in the glad sunlight, that
| the day will never come when wood
! will be much sought after and our
woodsheds a mockery. But that time
may come before we are prepared for
it. So, too, we may tlatter ourselves
that the day is far distant when help
| will be so scarce that we can not get u
President easily at the salary we now
| pay; but-what do we do to make the
life of n President enjoyablep What
home influences do we throw about him
to make his lot more cheerful?
We spend our time and money in
trying to brighten the hours of the folon,
but we forget that the President Of the
United States is frequently more sus-
ceptible to kind treatment than the
most gentle felon in all the land. We
are prone to forget that the President
of the United States was once pure as
che beautiful snow.
Every year we add to the duties of
She President without adding to his
salary. Each year we call upon him to
veto more bills than he did the year
before, and, while we do not add to his
perquisties, we tread more and more
chocolate-cake into his carpet and
assure him that we are still ticklcd to
gee him.
A condition of things has already ar
rived where in the primary department
of our schools the prospect of becoming
President of the Republic in the bosom
of the golden ultimately no longer
draws. To become a contortionist or u
pugilist might be an inducement in
many cases, but to be lonely, neg
lected President, doomed perhaps to
get married during his term, patiently
vetoing bills all the forenoon, and then
wringing the warty hands Of a cynical
constituency in the afternoon. then
patiently borrowing dishes of II neighbor
in order to give q state dinner or enter
tain the chairman of the board of super
visors from Costa Rica, will never again
promote the industry among boys that
it used to.
Perhaps other people haven't the
strong repugnance for etiquette that
seems to be inherent in my nature.
hope not. Etiquette is my betc noire.
That is about all the 6ete noire l have
had for years.
Whenever am invited to any large
doings where fair women and brave
men in their other clothes are apt to
congregate, always inquire if there is
to be any etiquette there. The presence
of etiquette ut an otherwise happy
gathering has frequently debarred me
from attending and compelled me to
spend the evening with my family,
where 1 could lay aside all restraint
and my coat.
So, the life of President, fraught MS
it is with the most virulent and malig-
nant form of etiquette, would possess
no charms for me, and l am not sur
prised that the boys of America refuse
to rise rs one man and be President,
fearing very naturally that some time
at state dinner they might get the
great men mixed up and have the error
telegraphed and cabled right and left,
or at some official festival and hurrah
to Plenipotentiary the wrong place
might be assigned to the delegate. at
large from Farther India, and the wife
of the Clergyman from Sweden find her
self drinking from the mustache our
that properly belonged to the mini.tel
from Nova Scotia.
l am sure that I am not pessimis:it
or any thing of that kind when say
that etiquette is destined to make its-li
so prominent rs Il part of official life al
Washington that plain American citi
zen, with II small bag of sulphur tiet
around his neck and consciousness
of rectitude in his heart and n smooth
potato in his pocket to keep off rheuma
tism, will be seen there no more!
Other nations have given themselve.
over to the false joys of etiquette, and
where are they to-day? Empires, powers
and principalities have in former times
forgotten their duty to the common
people in order that they might devote
themselves to the r. S. V. 2. and p. p
c. business, or that they might work ,
wedge of custard pie under u big rec
mustache by means of four-tine(
fork, and where are they nowP Othel
and more democratic nations. wht
drank their tea from a saucer will
great satisfaction and low, purrins
sound have conquered them.-BiW Nue