Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-11-18

The naSman at the crossi,o
Is provided with rug
To flag train he can't ALLOW
His wetchfulncss to flag,
In early Roman days a man NIL,
kill his wife for getting drunk w
he gets drunk and kills himself t s:s]
ings. Y
LANGUAGE was made to con,
thought. A dude has no n,o !
language. then, for he has no tbora1
to conceal.
THERE'S always room at the IN,
But there wouldn't be if everybo]v ri
is up there was as big as he thinks n;n
self.-Boston Courier.
MOTHER (anxiously)-I'm afraid vo
are giving the baby too much suss|
James. Father-Not at all, nv de-,
1 want him to be full of grit. -Bosto
Courier.
Ir is said that when Jay Gould W
a boy he used to lead the horses dow
to the drinking trough. This indicssl
that Jay began to water stock We,
early in life.
"HAs that baby got the jaundies !
asked cranky old bachelor of you|
mother. "Of course it hasn't WI
did you think so?" Because it is sud
an ugly yeller."
"PApA,' said a little boy, "why is d
Pension Department of the Goyer|
ment called bureau?" III don't knob
my son, uni IS it's because it ID
so many drawers" y Neuman Ind
pendent.
BRowN-A villain has been swindG1
q lot OF folks down town. He pass,
himself off as me, and gathered
quite a sum of money. Fogg-Passs
himself off as you! Why, the rasc
must be lost to all sense of shame
EMINENT Scientist The plapetaI
indications give assurance that the
will be no rain for the next three DAYS
Map with a bunion (smiling with LOFT
superiority)-There will be rain, RI,
less than twelve hours. And there v;
a LEARNED professor, after writing
long article, published in a leadil
newspaper, says: II confess that |
not know what produces laughter
why we laugh" The professor ID
doubtless been reading some Of the hi
merous papers. -Arhansaw Trauele1
FIRST Girl-Of all things You mu
be crazy. The idea of marrying d eli
Gus performer! Second Girl knol
what L am about, Mary. He makes b
living walking tight rope. "Whatd
that" II have the satisfaction
knowing that if he ever takes to drin
he will kill himself" ...
MARSHAL SoULT once, showing th
pictures he stole in Spain, stopped b
fore one and remarked, IL value tha
picture very much; it saved the lives
two estima&e persons. An aided1
camp whispered in the listeners ea
Gle threatened to have them both sAo
Immediately unless they gave it up
SrRANGER-So that is your che
cook, eh9 Strange! He looks healthy
Hotel Man-Healthyl He hasn't lost
day on account of sickness for year i
Remarkable, very remarkable !""oon
people have an idea that cooks are D.
eaters, but that isn't So That na
eats scarcely anything. Why ~
about one-half the time he taxi
nothing but crackers, and milk, AZ
l see. He doesn't cook the cracker
himself. "-Omnha World.
HOTEL Guest-I don't believe III 'n1
modern custom of tipping. l wanty'
to understand that Waiter-ls Dee
to school, sab, an I happen to hno /
there amt nothin' modern aDou, ]
sab. The CUSTOM is as old as cl'llI
ton, sab. 90, come now. "fae' ~
L learned, in history, sab, that one 'll1
a rich man like you named Cal'sa1
went somewhere to supper, an N'v1
him 100000 before he got thfoa'
sal.. By the way, sab, all the 'n''
you ordered is out, sab. - 0""
| World.
A DAKOTA man was travelling M
East and got into conversation WI" u,
man who appeared to be rap''',iT
After some time the eastern man
"You say shat your town has pVpr s.
ton of one thousand, twenty Ss ,.l
ten banks, eight lumber yards a." l,.
saloons. That's good, so taf' ~ s,l
there anything that is permanent an
thing that really brings weaNn iii
business into the place, any Ole iD AN
ton or industry to which you p ~,
can point with pride?" "Stfan6si'
piled the Dakota man, slowly ''A
pressively, "there is. we n''u rsrt
finest half-mile race-track in tne ~
tory !"-DlkOta Bell.
The power of fortune Is ooI v
only by the miserable; tho napE