Alpena weekly argus., 1887-11-16
The Woman and the Elephant.

After supper, over L went, with .
circus bill under the bosom of my
shirt, to spark Miss Lucinda. The
old folks went to bed early as usual,
and Miss Lucina unlaced her pigskin
shoes and looked at me with her big
bright eyes, an l made a big effort,
an jumped up off my chair, an walk
ed over to her, an said: "Miss Lu-
cinda, I've got something under the
bosom Of my shirt for you" And l
got chair up beside her, an we look
ed at it, and / asked her to 60 to the
circus with me, an she said she would,
an got over feelin' scared, and got
her on my knee, an kissed her, and
sparked her thar jist as well as any
body could until l o'clock in the
morning.
Well the day of the circus come,
an Miss Lucinda an went to Salem.
We walked. II was Ave miles, but
we didn't care anything about that.
Miss Lucinda was dressed in nice cal
leo dress that must have cost 81. and
she had the sleeves pinned up at the
shoulders with big brass pins. l was
dressed up in clothes I got in st.
Louis, an we looked fine, want to
tell you. That circus was the biggest
fraud that ever struck Illinois. The
tent wouldn't hold over hundred
people. They had advertised me-
nagerie, but all the animals they had
was an old she elephant, with a cali
elephant, 1 reckon about 4 months
old-a little feller, with snout about
so long-an' coon, dyed in pokeber.
ry juice, which they said was an "ick-
human or man-eater." We all know
ed it was coon.
The clown had hard time getting
the crowd to buy tickets. He led the
elephant and her calf an the coon
around outside, lecturing about them
an finally took 'em inside. Miss Lu.
cinda an l was inside. But the crowd
was outside. The Cleary Grove gang
was there, but they wasn't going to
buy ticket till they knowed what kind
of show it would be an, anyway
they was fixing to cut holes in the
tent, and see the show without payin'
When the clown brought the ele.
phant back, another feller's girl that
was thar got to feeding the calfele
: phant candy. and ! suggested to Miss
Lucinda that she feed it little ter.
hacker. She did, and the little ele
phant hit her with his snout. l don'i
know jist how he struck her, but she
kinder doubled up an jumped back
awful quick.
"Seize take the ornary pictur |!
she hollered, and she snatched one OF
them big brass pins out of her dress
and jabbed it iuto the little elephant,
snout.
This made the elephant snort, and
he come at her again and bunted her
Then Miss Lucinda was mad. She
> jist jumped about four feet high and
kicked that elephant three times be-
fore she lit, and the fight begun.
The clown saw good chance here
; to git the crowd to buy tickets and
come in, so he jumped over the rope
that was staked around the elephant:
and the coon. an yelled "Hurrah fol
the elephant" !" and slapped it on the
rump.
] had heard my father say that q
good fighter needed a good second, &c
I yelled, "Well done, Miss Lucinda |!
! and slapped her on the back. And
then they went at it again-the girl
and the elephant. The elephant
would bunt and strike with his snout
and Miss Lucinda would jump and
kick, an the clown yelled and cheer
; ed on the elephant, an yelled and
cheered on Mis-. Lucinda. Lord
what fight that was! And, you
ought to seen the Cleary Grove boys
buy tickets an como in to see the
fight. The tent was full in no time
and everybody but the clown cheered
on Miss Lucinda. Lord how thai
J girl could jump and kick An dur
, ing the fight she turned to me an said
"Bill, l amt got no fair show. Thi'
: rope here breaks tho power of my
{ kick"
"You shall have a fair show, Mis-,
Lucinda" said 1, and I jist pulled W
two stakes that held the rope, ant
pushed it up higher than my head.
And Miss Lucinda backed off about
six feet, and come at that elephant ,
running And she jumped an kick
ed it, an jumped an kicked it, till I'm
/. plagued if she didn't kick that ele
D phant clean over.
Then the clown yelled Enough
enough" I" an the crowd all cheeret
Miss Lucinda, an said: "Hold OF
: Miss Lucinda, you've licked him.
: And she turned to me with her blacl