Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-03-11
A MISERABLE WIFE.

have 10 rent or sell my farm. MY VIE
is so miserable. | cannot carry it on
without hiring, and hiring eats up all
the profits.
| looked at the speaker admringly.
He was about fifty. but us robust as a
man of thirty His whiskers were neat
" trimmed. showing full. red cheek.
He wore a jaunty hat and natty cuta-
way coat, and below his vest hung silk
fob and heavy gold seal. Twas proud
of him. He was such a perfect picture
of tho New York gentleman from the
rural district that | wanted to imprint
his picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miscrable?'
"Yes, kinder droopin'. with a dry
cough and no ambition. She just kind
or drags around the house, and looks
so peaked and scrawny it gives me the
blues. 1t does. swan"
Naturally weakly. wasn't she?'
she? Oh, no. When | married
her she was the smartest girl on the
creek. She used to work for father,
and the way she made the work stand
around took my eye. She was poor
girl, and her industry got her rich
husband. "
Here he carelessly took out gold
watch, looked at the time, put it back
and adjusted the silk fob on the front
of his nicely-iitting trousers.
80 she did well. getting married on
account of her Industry"
Why. of course; she was getting on
" $500 week, and she became the
mistress Of a farm"
Excuse me, but how much are you
worth now? coniidentially. you know.
! am scientific man, and Will never
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor,
We'll, professor,l could crowd $50.
600 pretty hard.
That is good. How long have you
been married."
Thirty years next Fourth of July.
We went down to Albany on little
| ecVoi' anu P'Opoocu lHo uaVVh anu
Jane was willin'."
"How much do you suppose you
have made in the last thirty years.
"Hum-um-lcmme see. | got the
Davis farm the first ten years. then /
run in debt for the Simmons place. got
war prices for my cheese. and squared
up both places. Well, think | have
cleared up $50. 900 since we spliced."
Very good indeed. And your wife
has been a great help all this time?"
"Oh, you bet! She was rather She
took care of her baby and the milk for
twenty cows. tell you. she made the
tinware flop. Why. we have had four
children, and she never had a hired Cir
over six months in that timeN
''Splendid; and you have cleared
$50 600 in that time?"
Yes; easy"
Now, how much has your wife
made?"
she, why durn it, professor sue !,
my wife.
II know it. But what has she made?
You say she was poor when you mar
ricd her Now. what has she made?"
"Why-by gum. you beat all. Why,
she is my wife and we own it all to-
gether.'
'Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse and carriage when she wants
them? Then she has servant maid
when she wants one? Then she rides
out for her health. and has watch
and chain of gold as you do? Is that
sop"
Professor. you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such thing?
Now look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich. and cannot see
it. If she was getting % so per week
when you married her and had saved
her wages, she would have had now
5000. If she had invested it, she would
have had $1,000 Now you tell me she
is broken down and used up. and mis-.
cradle. and looks so badly she makes
you sick. and she has no money, nc
health. and will get probably nothing
but Scotch granite tombstone when
she dies?'
Professor. II you was a you niger
man would lick YOU quicker'n q
spring lamb can jump a thistle"
What for Lam stating the case
fairly, am ] not' Your wife is no long
CT young. She is no longer handsome.
Her hands are as hard as local edit
or's cheek. and she has stopped over q
milk can until she has hump on her
back like pedder."
"Shut up. will you'"
''She has raised four children. One
of them is at college. One of them is
taking mnsic lessons at Boston. The