The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-12-09
THE OLD
The Troubles of a Man With an Au-
burn-haired Wife.

friend?" excitedly asked a man with a
fearfully scratched face Of haehman
at the government building one morn
ing.
Jump right in" was the business
answer of the driver, as he threw open
the hack, "Take you there for $2."
"No you won't, sirl" responded the
scratched man. ~ kin walk"
whats the matter-somebody
robbed your" commiseratincly asked
the hackman as he shut the door and
sighed at the loss OF a job.
mo, siirt" replied the victim as he
mopped out the tiny canals on his
face. "But I'll have her arrested, by
Jupiter"
"Who2" inquired the hachman.
"Been fooling with the old woman?"
"-I-I-I amt married-yes / am;
what's the use OF lying?" was the hest.
tating reply. 9r ..n ~
Didn't bring up the coal and kind
ling, TIL bet2" cautiously asked the
jehu, who was feeling his way.
"Tain't SO; I always did that, and /
never kicked on lighting the fire, ex-
cept in real cold weather. was the
m%ournful response. "And to think
she'd treat me this wayl"
"Got no hired grip" asked the hack
man.
Not any,"
"Well. what was the matter?"
Captain, did you ever hear any
body say that whenever you see q
red-headed woman you'll see II white
horse, too?" softly asked the disfgur-
ed questioner,as he looked suspicious
ly about him.
Eyes, often; amt it SOP" was the
loud response.
''Sh-h-h! Look outl Some red
headed woman might hear you, and
well, look at my facet" was the warn
ing Injunction.
Oh, ho!' murmured the driver; 81
seel'
Eyes, she's got red hair, Lorena
has," sadly reflected the victim; "hut.
you know, | always referred to it as
auburn"
The hackman winked knowingly
and listened further.
You see, i didn't know she heard
OF the saying, and this morning alter
breakfart / was thinking of it. Just
as / peeped out OF the window ! ia q
white horse and, like a tarnal fool,
says, DANCED if it amt true!'
"'What's true?' asked Lorena.
"'Oh, / saw q white horse just now,
and
" And what?' says she kind OF hard
like.
"'oh, nothing. says ].
"'Peter S~tuyvesant Brown, you're
a despicable worm OF the earth, she
screeched. You were going to say
you saw a red-headed woman but
you weren't man enough, any more
than you are to let me 90 around IN q
three-year-old dress, when that stuck
up Mrs. Mulkittle has had five IN the
last year,
"Iorena, my love- says ], T.
"sTorena hddlesticksl' she bawled.
You meant it, you red-nosed nfdel!
And you taught Johnnie the same
Thing. sir. Iknew it the moment be
yelled out in the street yesterday:
MA. where's the white horse?''
What white horse?" said, like q
fool. "Why, pasald that whenever
YOU see a redsheadrd woman y0a Sc
a white horse, and your hair is awful
red"
aaBut, Lorena, dear, r.
st'Shut up she beloved, and a
couple Of hateful men, VINO were
standing at the corner instead of be
ing at home attending to their suffer
ing wives, had the impudence to laugh
in my face, Mr.. Peter Stuyvesant
Brownl Hal you villainl'
'Itried to explain to her, bnt she
busted out into Mysteries and jumped
up. You ought to have seen her claw
and scratch-and bite-whoopl she's
a worse bitter than a bear
what are you going 70 do" de
manded the hackman; get hSr ar
resIed?"
mo; 1 wanted a policeman to e
and induce her to give me my over
coat and q good hat" explained tn
clawed-up a
"Say, yon Just 60 down here TO |
newspaper office and lay your case DO
fore the boss said the hachman
land pet him to say that Mrs. Pete
Stuyvesant Brown, wife Of, etc, pos
sesses the finest wealth OF auburn
hair in Cincinnati. Then drop a not
home, with an-order for a SO bonnie
in it."
sThink thatM fetchher2" dubiousll
asked p. s. Brown.
stSurel'' was the reply, as the hack
man winked in the old. old. been-there
myself style.-Cincinnati Times-Star