Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-12-02
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

TUE MoRMoN's MOTHER GOOSE.
Sing a song OF SIN wivc',
\ village fun of brdts
When the store was opened
bought load OF hats
Then went about the streets,
with hiy-rig ali 20 iuc,
And gave "A hat tJ every boy
thought, perhaps, was mine.
Barkeeper producing water jar y "You
will have II little something with your
brandy ?"
Red-nosed individual "Thanks-a lit
tie more of the brandy please"
The young lady who wrote about
"trooth's majec spell" now claims that she
belongs to the broken wing of the spelling
reform association.
Now that base bah and fishing are both
out of season, we are not surprised to
learn that the New York and Boston
churches are beginning to fill up.
Did You ever notice that, in using I'M
ruled paper, ones pen is apt to be IN
ruly?
When Il man gets to be "society leader"
you may generally look for him at the
tail end of every other procession.
Blobson says that Dumpsey Is one of
the most generous men he ever saw. He
gives himself away almost every time he
opens his mouth.
Some hotel spectators hired an Irish
man to play echo at IA certain rocky cor
ner of suburban lake. The scheme
worked well till, one day, as certain de
lighted party were taking their leave, the
echo exclaimed, "IIowld on Have any
of yez got a chew ?"
There is no question that the devil does
help those VINO help themselves. But,
like the plumber, he keeps "A strict account
and W hen his bill has lain long enough to
gather some moss he is sure to send it in.
"Man wants but little here below"
doesn't apply to the man who goes down
cellar to look at your gas metre.
The season of buckwheat cakes has
again arrived, and the patent blood puri-
fer man is putting canvas pockets into
his trousers.
There are, it said, 100000 children in
India qualified to attend school, but prob
ably only about a tn ri of that number
are qualified to stay there.
"No," said the reformed poet, sadly, 81
haven't struck the Tyre for more than a
year"
Neither have |, ;" replied his companion
tell | met you"
l. would be the most natural thing in
the world for the young business man to
put the letters Of his dove" in his pigeon
holes-but he doesn't.
There is family by the name Of Greeu
in Paris, Ill.,, and it makes them tearing
mad to be spoken of as Paris Greens
d Farmer Bascom has just dropped in to
tell us that one of his hens laid an egg
yesterday without cacklng We would
print this in large type, if 1t wasn't for
Boston young man lin Chicago)-Ges |
am n tturally proud OF my ancestry, Miss
BREEZY. Some OF my ancestors came over
II the MayhOwer, you know
Miss Breezy very much Interested On,
did they, indeed Why, | saw the May
flower when | was in New York last year
-EpOch.
The latest "sell" that youngsters are
playing upon one another and upon their
elders is: Did You get the letter :"
wv hat letter. is naturally asked GO,
Gallagher ,'-AClo York Times.
1t Is interesting to trace the evolution of
words and expressions. Cultivated people
say: How do you do 2" Those who are
less precise say: "Howdydoo ?" In the
backwOOds OF Tennessee they say "IIoW-
dy ~ The noble red man of the West
says How - while the cat on the fence
says "Ow,"-NorUjch bulletin.
First Speaker-Say, fellows, you don't
know what bore this thing Of wearing
glasses Is and never have been abe 10
get pair that suited both my nose aud