The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-07-30

The plumbers bill now subsidies for
the mosquitoes bill.
New York IL threatened with 3
tulip craze. The two-lip craze shows
no sign Of abatement.
A postage stamp Is like youngnter.
II always sticks TO business better
after IL has been thoroughly licked.
.'Berty" wants to know how he can
retain the love OF his sweetheart Eliza
beth. Eternal vigilance Is the price Of
Lib.
III declare" said Mrs. SpinkinwIthor.
swhat gadder Mrs Snickerson Is!
never go on the street without seeing
herln
violet-Ma, how do people know
that It's man in the moony Mother
sadly because it's always out
nights.
An Ohio girl claims 10 have gone
three weeks without eating anything.
She probably doesn't call ice cream
anything.
Gussie Van Tinsil Ito little Harry
Wouldn't you like TO be a man, Ha'wyy
Harry INSTANTLY Interested - Yeth,
wouldn't your
Miss society says she shan't take
"Puggy" TO the beach this summer.
He barked ut the wrong time the other
day and spoiled proposal.
Harry has been teaching the farmers
daughter how TO play tennis. She
latter half an hours Instruction.
And love don't mean nothin'; how
funny.
Some Washington ladies have in
troduced the fashion of wearing rings
on their thumbs, and each, of course,
thinks herself thumbody in conse-
quence.
One swallow doesn't make a sum-
mer. as every one knows. II may also
be further stated that often an entire
glass of soda water doesn't make one
swallow.
"What was the text this morningy"
asked a-stay-at-home husband OF
church. going wife. "Many are called
but few are chosen" "What Jury did
he have reference to-
A magazine writer has been discuss
| ing the question, "Will the Coming
i Man Read Booksy" Not IL he has TO
nurse the baby while his wife attends
women's rights conventions.
Heiress Il am afraid 10 is not for
me that you come here SO often. but
| for my money. Ardent wooer-You
are cruel To say SO. How can l get
your money without getting your
ayes, Tom is good fellow enough,
but he doesn't know his own mind
Doesn't heY Well, I'm sure he's to be
congratulated Those who do know IL
haven't much to say In its favor"
Compassionating Clara Isn't II sads
Poor Mr.. Iittlewit has gone out Of
his mndS Satirical Sallie--I wonder
he's staid there as long as he has.
Awfully cramped quarters, you know.
Head OF llrm-If our collector has
been rude, sir, l am sorry. / assure
you we will give him no countenance.
Aggrieyed party--He doesn't need
any-hes got face enough now for
anything.
She-Nol can't give yon another
dance. But Ill introduce you 10 the
prettiest girl in the room. He--But
don't want TO dance with the prettiest
girl in the room. l want 10 dance
with you.
"What's the matter with your eyes,
JoeY" "Been sitting ashes, Bill The
winds against me, no matter how |
turn" IL never get ashes in my eyes,
joe" allow do you avoid ~" III
let my wife sift them"
IL was the firm belief Of the Tartars
that whoever touched beautiful
woman with kinglisher's feather
would gain her love. This was before
the age of the golden dollar, however.
Harrington Free Press.
A law was recently passed by the
Ohio Legislature declaring that the
husband was the head of the family.
Until that act Is signed by all the
women 1t will be imperative. and even
then IL is likely TO prove dead letter.
Young man Ito messenger boy
What did the young lady say when
you gave her the flowers? Messenger
boy She asked tie young Teller who
was sittin' on the porch with her IL he
didn't want some for a buttonhole
bouquet.
Miss Trillion-The same old story.
Charley. I'm afraid TO have you out
of my sight. Charley (sympathetically)
Just as feel about II. Let's get
married at once. need some one To