Crystal River current., 1887-01-22
MILD FORMS OF lDioov.

Familiar to Most People.
In the m ore offensive forms Of mild
idiocy there is always this disregard of
the we'll being of others. There u the
peripatetic idiot, who is always stopping
to talk to somebody else in the middle
Of the sidewalk or on frequented cor
ner, taking pains to do this when the
streets are fullest of pedestrians There
il the dramatic idiot, who sits behind or
in frunt of you at the theater. and keeps
telling his companion what the actors
are going to do next. There is a female
species of this genus who may be the
supposed intellectual wife of husband
of well authenticated stupidity. to whose
enlightenment she devotes during the
progress of the play all her attention.
Her volubility exceeds that of thou
sand-dollar-a-year commercial traveller.
and her voice is of that carrying. Fin
alt, kind that aggravates, the listener
more than the filing of saw, or pine
splinter vibrating in the winter wind.
Let it be said to the discredit of its sex
that the musical idiot is usually male.
If you have an car for music and it is
favorite opera, he takes pains to sit be-
side you. and when the marvellous voice
of the great tenor or the astounding
organ of the wonderful soprano is go
ing up like Shelley's skylark. he beats
time with his feet and emits harsh, gut
tural sounds that he thinks resembles
the air of the singer. The exquisite
joys of music are evanescent at the best,
and the musical soul is sensitive to the
slightest discord. Nothing can be done
with a pachyderm of this species. There
are fools and idiots SO strangely consti-
tuted that they will not believe they are
fools and idiots even if you tell them.
His is one of that kind. and the law,
alas. does not allow you to kill
HIM, nor can he be put in dark
cell, like the prisoner of Chillon, and
fed on moldy bread and >aintcd meat
till his discordant life fifty ends in a
lingering death. There are other forms
of musical idiocy which are displayed
in acrobatic feats at untimely hours on
the piano, in tampering with that ex-
qusite instrument, the violin. and in
elicting ear-piercing sounds from the
aute. But the types are too common
place for scientific classification. So,
also, are those types of idiocy that open
all the windows in midwinter and in
sist on having them all closed in mid
summer.
Once in crowded theater the or
chestra ceased its efforts with a great
crash and an abrupt silence, and a
shrill voice was borne TO the uttermost
parts Of the vast auditorium which
said: Il like mine fried in butter.'
The incident is mentioned in all the
histories of the period. 1t was one of
those idiotic persons. female in this
instance, who. when they get to talk
ing, can be stopped by neither steam
brake nor the side Of mountain. 1t
q is numerous class, and its representa-
: tives travel much on the street-cars
and often visit theaters and concerts.
where they insist on relating their pri-
vate affairs in loud. nerve-harrowing
tones. They have the kind of voice
which heard behind you in the street
eve: pursues you. maintaining its pene-
trating quality in the universal din long
after its owner has been distanced and
cngulfed in the needless crowd. This
class OF idiots is most vicious and offen-
sive. They have an acute form OF the
mslady transccnding anodynes and
anasthetics. and demanding heroic
treatment. Nothing will suffice but to
extrpate the present generation and
slaughter their children.
The idiocy of the average boy is of
. an exaggerative kind. 1t can hardly
be classed as mild. He might proper
ly be called a howling idiot except that.
not having arrived at the years of dis
cretion, he is partially excusablc for the
mental alteration which causes him to
violate all the proprcties. A little
later he becomes an adolesccnt. when
his idiocy takes sentimental form,
less disagreeablc. though equally sell
fish. The male bipcd just entering
manhood imagines that he is the cen-
ter of the solar system and that about
him revolve all the planets and their
moons. He is quite certain about the
universe. If he walks he thinks every
body is looking at him. When he
speaks he imagines everyone is listen