Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-08-18

The wheat pit of Chicago is the sheol
Of the future. --New Orleans Rcayuac.
Tho Iowa corniields are very atten-
tive, The are all ears. - Dubuque
Times.
A vicious dog is very likely to DO tho
TERROR of the neighborhood. --Merciant
Traveller.
Why is hades like corner in graina
Because there Is de'il in it.-Boston
Transcript.
Wun advantage ov spellin reform
wood boo that yu kudn't spell rong -
Redmond Dispatch.
II It weren't for the poor. yellow
dogs would lind this n dreary and COM
fortress world, Puck.
II is not until n man reaches 80 that
he begins to wrap the small bills on the
outside of his roll.
We go to Italy to LEAN to sing. and
the Italians come to this country 10
lean the hand organ. Puck.
A good epitaph for man who dies
Of ovorwork; "lle wanted tho earth.
but tho earth got him, Puck.
Almost the only man who does not
try TO shine ut the summer hotel Is
the bootblack. - Boston Bulletin.
Talk is cheap. The man that talks
too much gets so liberal that no gives
himself away. - baltimore american
More pugilists arc knocked out in
saloon rows and dive quarrels than arc
ever slugged in prizo'ring. BH9ato
Express.
Tho boom IN the price OF lemons
shows that man does not always banker
after tho sweets Of life -- Baltimore
american.
Hanging II man in eigy has about
tho same effect rs firing feathers at him
ut n distance Of one hundred miles,
SdpdnRah NeWS.
The bow OF the summcr.rosort wait
or is regulated entirely by the size of
the foe. Tho higher the fec, tho low.
or the bow. -- baltimore american.
III II were Ms hot In central Africa IA
1t is IN New York. one would see each
Hot,entot grow hotter and totter.--
Nct0 lork Commercial Advertiser.
The pcrseyering mosquito Is about tho
only member Of the Fort Smelling on
can,pmcnt that never misses his aim
ut target practice, So. Pau Globe.
When man gets 80 high up in lifo
that he Is above the mother that boro
him he is tho lowest OF all oarth's
creeping creatures, sd Joseph Or
seite.
There is n big opening for the genius
who invents n male bathing-dress tina,
will not give away tho fact that tho
wcarcr is bow legged. PAtiadeiphia
| HerdM
1t is said that small hand indicates
refinement II IL also sometimes nm
indication that tho holder will draw
out tho first time around. --LoUeH
citizen
Tho daughter of Singer, tho sewing.
mach no man. Is about to marry I'M
Italian prince who hasn't money
enough to buy hand.organ. -Feorta
Transcript.
A novel pin for tho hair or bonnet Is
in The form Of an interrogation point
The ladies' go around asking questions
with the backs Of their heads. -PhiLd.
deiphm 'dH.
A plncard in n Philadelphia dry goods
store reads: 1.-The Lord helps the man
who helps himself but the Lord help
the man found helping himself here"
miiadeIphm Ne'OS.
When hen lays M ogg she cackles
irlle 10 be sure; but IL Is the male
member Of the family who tiptoes
proudly about aud nets rs though he
were to blame for it.-ihch
Travel IL very heavy this season."
so Il the tired suburban ~ the fat wo-
man sat down and wedgcd him into
about -four inches OF the seat Boston
CoD,Dierciat Butictin.
Now the city chap talks soft sweet
ness TO the fresh country ma den and
cnrycs their names and two hearts
skowered together on her fathers prize
apple tree. - BOskOi Hobe.
Importers interview nDout eVerypOuy
and ever, thing. One Of them inter-
viewed n smallpox pat ent in New
York Tuesday, the result of which has
not yet come out -Haryard Times.
The boz who has been in swimming
under the blazing sun may be dis.
tiDguishci by his tendency to keep
away from the back Of his shirt rs
much as possible. OF nty Blizzard.