The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-22
BRIGHT BITS.

Is "a weeks time the earth travels over II 000,-
600 square miles. Fortunately there are no
wooden bridges on the line.-NorUtch Bulletin.
1.-TWO knots an hour isn't such bad time fora
clergyman" smngly said the minister to him
telf, inst after he had united the second couple.
Merchant ITdUeter.
A LITTLE GIRL wasn't far wrong when she told
her Sunday school teacher, in answer to the
question, What is the worst thing about
money! that it was cause we amt got any"
We can all say that.-NdshUtIte american.
EVERY pcknicker hates
With hatred intense
The man who put up
The barbed wire fence.
Washington Critic.
''DoEs Grimes drink?'' inquired Smthers.
Nothing intoxicating responded Thomp-
SON
How does that Gomez"
''Why, the boys have got tired buying it for
him, guess. '-PittSburg Dispatch.
THAT fellow Rafter was here again. He
wanted to know if could settle that bill of his
for building my new house. | told him that be
couldn't expect meto be as prompt as the house;
that began to settle in less than week after we
moved into it Boston Transcript
a WITTY LAWYER, many Of whose sayings are
famous, said to a friend:
Ibid you hear that - "a lawyer who had.
always been devious) had turned States evil
dence?''
''IIow is that?' said the other
"He has been converted and joined the
church. ''-BoSt0n Herald
''YEs, =" said he, YEARLY, I'm tired out, and
need a vacation. I'm going to take rest.
That's right" said his partner. cheerfully.
''You have been working hard and you do need
a rest. Where do you think you'll go tor
go tor" asked the other in mild surprise.
$50 tor I'm going to stay at home. l said
was going to have rest, didn't l?''-SomerUiHe
Journal.
INDIGNANT MIsTREss-B Bridget, what do you
mean by serving such water for breakfast? It's
not ice water.
New Servant (who was recommended as being
of a saving turn)-Shur'n It's ice wather, mum,
and it's myself was afther savin' it from last
nights supper, not wantin' fur to whaste SO
much mum, and then the dice companies
charain' such Robin loike prices.-ELntird
Gazette.
MOTHER" said the 5-year-old demon just as
Mrs. Oldboy was preparing to leave home on a
six weeks visit, whats become of the fur you
used to wear last winter?n
Locked up Willie; why?"
Say, has wings growed on it?"
No; why do you ask such silly questons?"
'CauseI heard pop say this morning he
would make the fur fly while you are away"
The trunks were at once unpacked, and the
look that came into Mrs Oldboys face made the
clock strike 34.-Nebrasko State Journal
OMAHA MANI have come as a committe of
| one, Mr.. President, to advise you to include
| Omaha in your Western trip.
The President-Yes, | suppose Omaha is the
| greatest metropolis of the West with with
| 10000, 900.
"Not at ALL Mr.. President, we don't brag
about our size or our prospects"
"Eh?"
'Omaha is simply pretty town moving along
| with the current of affairs"
''What?"
1--WE don't expect to out-strip New York next
| year nor London the year after, and we are not
selling suburban lots at 81, 900 foot, and what S
| more don't expect to-"
''Dan1! Dan'l. for heavan's sake send for a
| Waterman. Here's a lunatic "-Onanhd NetcS