News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
THE LIME-KILN CLUB,
THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF
THIS WORLD OF OURS.
Some Incidents that Cannot Fail to
Interest the Reader.
From the Detroit Free Press.1

OSbIOlJ IIee
The thirteenth dastardly attempt to
destroy Paradise Hall was revealed Sat
urday evening when the janitor arrived
to place the hall in order for the usual
meeting. 1t was unsuccessful, but the
occasion enabled Brother Gardner to
give his people good sound talk on the
wickedness of the day. He said:
my frens, dis incident furnishes me
wild an opportunity to address you on
de subjick of Goodness VS.. Badness. If,
when baby was three days ole, he could
reason an calkilate, he would reason as
follows: 'Heah l ar, sound, healthy
boy, wild big show of CROWN up to
manhood. De more / kick an yell an
misbehave doorin' my infancy de mo-
spankin's I'll receive. De better l mind
an de gooder ar as a boy de easier
will 1 slip along. As young man [
shall be upright an honest AS mid
dle-aged man shall act on de squar
As an ole man L shall quit chawin' plug
tobacker, read up on de Bible an go to
bed airly.'
''Wickedness doan' pay, fgger it up
as you will. We hev had many in
stances of it in dis club, an we ar sur
rounded wild 'em at home. When
Whalebone Howker stole q wheelbarrer
belongin' to Pickles Smith he at fust re-
Joiced an was glad. He felt dat he was
81 ahead of de game, and he poked his
self in de ribs fur smart man. How
sumeber, he hadn't had dat stolen We
hickle In his pOsseshun two hours when
his game rooster died, de dog-catcher
picked up his dog, an man who owed
him 81 when into bankruptcy. He could
fgger dat he was So out of pocket, an
den Pickles fOun' out who stole his
wheelbarrer an cum ober an licked
Whalebone widin an inch of his life te
sides.
''Take de case of Bermuda Jones who
Ibis mex doah to Condensed Cunning
ham. Bermuda sat down wild a piece
of chalk and figured up dat wickedness
paid 200 per cent, an he went ober to
de grocery, backed up agin a cracker
bari, an while he engaged de grocer |
in a religus discussion wild one hand, |
he filled his hind pocket wild crackers |
wild de odder. He started out of dat |
grocery store feelin' dat he was seben |
cents ahead an still gainin,' but what |
was de result? A small boy, who was
In dar to buy a cents WORT of taffy, seed .
the whole performance and told de gro
Ger. Bermuda was follered home,
knocked down in his own kitchen, an
made to give up de fo' cane seat cheers
in his parlor to settle de case. Did he
profit by his badness Did he make
any 200 per cent on data
''Agin take de case of Kurnel Laffing-
well Kabar. I had six leghOrn hens in
my coop, an he coveted 'em. Instead
of comm to me in frank, honest way
an offerin' to buy dose hens at der
value an gibbin' me his note due in thir-
ty days, he steals upon my coop in de
gloom of midnight an forcibly capti-
Yates my poultry. He chuckled to his
self ober his smartness an Figured his
200 per cent. profit, but Nemesis war
on his trail. He left one of de ole blue
patches on his pants on a nail in de
coop, an when l found my hens gone
walked ober to his humble cabin an
took him by de neck an drawed him
out doors. Some of you have probably
heard dat he went into a decline soon
arter dat, an when de post-mortem was
held three of his ribs war found stickin'
out of his back.
81 hev figgered on goodness an bad
ness, an I tell you dat badness doan'
pay. Some of you may hev lifted
ham at de co'ner grocery widout bein'
caught at it, but yit how did you feel
when YOU met a policeman, or when
itrange knock cum at de doah? Guilt
was SIGH burden on yer soul dat de
up at night to see spooks standin' by
yer beds. De good man goes aroun'
wild his hat on his ear, afeared of no.
J.
eye. If he happens to see de patrol
wagon gwine along he doan' turn pale.
IF anybody happens to lay hand ON
him he doan' sink inter his butes.
GLOW ar it wild de bad MANI He's
guns. He's allus 'spectin' to be rested
an sent up. A strange knock at his
cabin doah sends chill up his back.
Go whar' he will, he feels guilty an
afeared, an some fine day when he am
/ detective an claps de handouts ON
him, an away he goes to jackson fur
Ten vars. You kin fgger an tigger,
put goodness am bound to cum under
lie wire full length ahead"
The Presidents address created con-
siderable excitement, and WaydOwn
Beebe was ready with the following pre-
amble and resolution:
''WHEREAs, Goodness ar moa' profit
able dan badness, an also easier on de
now, dar'fore
''ResolUed, Dat it ar de sense of dis
meetin' dat we stick to goodness.
The resolution was adopted by unan
imous vote, and the meeting adjourned
with much good feeling.