The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1887-10-28
Sclttt lNistellanp.
How Stoves Are Put Up.

THIS being the season Of the year
when multitudes fpeople are adjusting
their heating apparatus, preparing for
cold weather. some will recognise their
own experience in the following ANUS
inc description from the 4mer'con Ar-
hson of the way it is sometimes done:
In the first place, the man puts on
an old and very ragged coat. Then he
puts his hands inside the place where
the pipe ought to 90, and blackens his
fingers. aud then stuliously makes Il
black mark down the side of his nose.
Having got his nose properly frescoed,
the man graspS one side Of the bottom
of the stove, and his wife and the hired
Girl take hold of the other side. and in
this way the stove is started from the
woolshed to the parlor. In passing
through the door, the man carefully
swings his side Of the stove around and
Jams his thumb nail against the door
post. At last the stove is set down in
the proper place, and the man and his
wife and the hired girl SET out in Il tri-
angular search after the stove legs
Two are finally fonnd inside the stove,
where they have remained since spring.
and the TWO others are found hidden
under four tons Of coal. Then the old
man holds up one side of the stove,
while his wife puts two of the legs in
place: then he holds up the other side
while the other two are being adjusted,
and one Of the first pair is displaced.
The trick of getting the four legs into
their proper place is practiced with
varying and indifferent results for some
ten minutes, and by this time the man
gets excited and reckless, and throws
off his coat, regardless of the conse-
quences.
Then the man goes for the stovepipe
and gets a cinder in his eye. The stove
was put up in tjrst-class shape last
year by the stove man, but this year
| the pipe proved to be Il little too long.
SO the man jams his hat down over his
eyes, takes il piece of pipe under each
arm, and starts for the tin shop to have
it fixed. Then he comes back, steps
his muddy boots into one of the best
parlor chairs to see if the pipe will fit,
| when his wife makes him come down.
In the act of decending he plants his
foot square down on the hollow of the
cats back, and comes within an ace of
trampling the baby under foot. Then
| the man gets an old chair from the
kitchen and climbs up to the chimney
opening again, and makes the startling
discovery that in cutting off the end OF
the pipe, the timer had made the pipe
| tco large to enter the hole in the CHM
nty. So the man goes into the back
yard and splits one side Of the end Of
the pipe with an old ax, and squeexes
it betwe n his hands until he makes It
smaller.
Then the man gets the pipe into
shape only to find that the stove does
not stand true. Then the man and
his wife and the hired Girl move the
the stove to the left. and the legs fall
out again. The legs are replaced and
the stove moved to the right, and there
is another SeoHcs with the legs. Then
the elbow is found not to be even with
the hole in the chimney. and the man
goes into the woodshed after some lit
! tie blocks. Then the man and his
wife and the hired Girl essay TO put the
blocks under the legs, and the pi re
comes ont OF the chimney. The pipe
is replaced in the chimney hole, when
the elbow commences TO .topplr over.
The mans wife is visibIy agitated, and
| the man GETS the dInnlng table out OF
the kitchen and balances IN cd chair
on it. and makes his wife hold the char
while he performs aerobatic feIts ON
the grand combine. in IN effort to drive
some nai's INTO the ceiling, during
which performance the man drops the
! hammer doWn upon his wifc's devoted
heal. and she surprises him with Il yell