The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1887-04-14

Chronicle.
"Well," said the bookkeeper, Ben
sons always good in an emergency. "
Il know it," said Old Hyson, sbut he
is drunk all the rest of the time, and
we can't have an emergency on hand
every day to keep him sober" Benson
goes.-Burdette.
"What was the rush last night, old
MANI You left ahead of the party. y
did IP l thought took all the heads
of the whole party with me from the
size of the one | have on me this morn
ing. Only head? Bless you. l got
on full bust "-Buraette.
The Elysee at Paris and the royal
palace at Brussels were connected b.
telephone day or two ago. If Prcsi.
dent Grevy and King Leopold attempt
to make each other hear what they say
we fear the great European war will be
precipitated.-Net0 HaUen Ne10S.
The Lowell Co'&rier says that statis-
tics show that no actor was ever killed
while travelling upon a railroad This
wisdom of spending all their time
travelling upon a railroad 1t would be
splendid relief to the public.-BoSton
Post.
Il had no idea Shaker had so many
friends in the club as he seems to have.
Why, every one looks quite down in
the mouth since he went abroad" mo
wonder. He forgot to make any an
nouncement of his departure, you
know and he carried his check book
with him. "-I0Wn Topics.
1--WE don't have such sermons as they
used to when the apostles preached, :"
said Mr.. Nevergo. NO" replied the
parson, land we don't have such con-
gregations as the apostles had, either.
Paul might preach to my congregation
for six weeks and then they'd be two
months behind with his salary. BUR
dette.
Mother-Johnnie, brush the dust off
your boots. JOhnnie-Is that the kind
Of dust papa was talking to governess
about? Mother-What did he say?
Johnnie-He said: ''Dost thou love
me, Agnes?" Mother-No, it was not,
Johnnie; but Agnes will dust out of
here tomorrow morning.-BoSto1a
Globe.
There is woman in Philadelphia
who no sooner enters the Geological
Gardens than every animal begins to
howl and roarand become furious, and
ioh Ch " ~,
the eyes for sixty seconds had fit of
some sort and lost his appetite for two
days. Sheis probably book agent
Detroit Free Press.
At the theatre: Young lady in box,
facing the stage, with her dress cut
UNNECESSARILY low in the back; lady in
the audience observes her, and gives a
violent start. Escort-Good heavens!
What's the matter? Lady Crecovering)
%, nothing now. | was only afraid
that girl would fall backwards out of
her dress Washington critic.
land do you doubt my love!" he
asked, passionately. ''No, George
she answered with admirable pOise,
''but when you say that the day you
call me yours will usher in an era of
lifelong devotion and tender solicitude,
you-pardon me, dear-you put it on
trife too thick. You seem to forget,
George, that | am a widow. "-NeU
York Sun.
Senator Gndignantly)-Thc report
going around that | am one of the best
poker players IN the country is doing
me great deal of harm. Senator s
wife (soothingly)-I don't see why it
should, my dear. People pay very lit
tie attention to such idle tales. How
does it harm ou?-Senator-I can't
get anybody to play with me.-NeaC
York Sun.
Self-respecting citizen-'I am in
favor of an indignation meeting to de-
nounce the ballet" Ordinary citizen
''My dear sir, why this antipathy?'
| because it is vicious, indecent, i'm
moral, disgusting, brazen." Good
gracious! / never detected any of those
| things when l saw ii" Possibly not.
/ have never seen it; therefore | speak
with confidence. Philadelphia Call.
No wonder the government is going
to spend $50,000,000 for coast defense.
Two American base ball clubs are
threatening to play in England and
Germany this summer. Say, can't we
compromise this thing without any use
less effusion of blood? The boys will
go over there and persuade Lord Ran
| dolph Churchill or Prince Bismarck to
act as umpire, and then--n'-Bur-
| dette.