Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-06-03

Tbs cost of education IL the public
schools of Russia is'sonething less than
cent head excuse us-per capita
This Is an awful aud wicked waste of
| money, because as the average Russian
appears to learn nothing but raw cuss-
edneSs," we think he might get il for
| nothing.
A CHANCE FOR rHE POOREST.
There Is no excuse for bachelo rhood
now. When young man can get mar
ried IN New Jersey for nothing and can
get baby carriage in New York for SIS
there Is no reason in the world why he
shouldn't get married, unless, of course,
provided always the gir, kicks. Then,
in that case, to be sure.
he Is TEE MAN
Prof. Albert Russell Wallace, the Eng
us naturalist, is profound believer in
Darwlnlsm and evolution. is strong
oplrltuallst, Is a pronounced Sweden
( oorglan, and Is somewhat of n mind
reader Fellows, bet you case we've
got hold of the very man who can trans
! late Browning.
USELESS CHAIR.
Father" said young Mr.. Hardpate.
showing his father around the university.
this Is DR.. Stoneage, our professor of
archaeology" He Is, ehs" said the old
man, in fine burst of scorn. what do
| you want with a professor of that for '
Bible says there amt goin' to be no more
| floods. What do you want with arks?"
UNDER EXAMINATION.
Dear Meredith, your beautiful poe m
on the death of an Infant" has bee n
received and is now in the hands of a
board of experts, it already having re-
seived the approval of the editor. This
examination takes a world of time: but
in these days of dynamite and acrostics
1t Is safer and pleasanter for the mos
enterprising editor to be six weeks be-
hind than five minutes too previous.
Comprawney VOC which way lie chatte
! geiumpen!
PROBABLY A FACT.
! There Is what is said to be a supersti-
| ton IN Ireland that the old Irish used TO
know how to rhyme rats to DEATH We
see no reason for calling this a supers til
ton. No poison could be so rough on
| rats" as some we wot of and expect to
| wot more of ere death releases Us from
the voting business.
STEADY EMPLOYMENT GUARANTEED.
We see it stated thai the young ladies
| of New York are learning to fence. Well,
when they have learned we can tell them
| where they can get steady job. Ad-
! dress John Sherman, Mansfield, Ohio;
! he puts in as much jiae mending his
fences as any rancher in the repu bile.
SASS FOR THE GOOSE.
The French needn't get so howlin @
mad over this Schnaeeaebbl-what is the
other end of his name anyhow?-affair
How long, or rather how short, was it a
| go when the efferuescent Gauls were bonn.
harding the King of Spain, in their own
! capitol with venerable but abandoned
| eggs? Do they think nobody likes a
| little fun but themselves?
WELL, THEY HAVE BEEN BUILT THAT WAY.
Il see remarked Atom, the new gun,
boats will be built of steel. $50 will the
| new summer residences of the contrac
! tors" replied Molecule; but Atom replied
with the air of man just aching for
the ncmin alton, that he was out of poll.
tics and didn't care to discuss any poll.
teal questions.
ADAPTED EDUCATION.
81 am in favor of teaching trades in
! public schools said taxpayer. Me,
too" assented constant reader, II want
carpenteriug or wood working of some
sort taught. My boys got head that
isn't good for anything else"
THEY SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
Recently the Bishop of Manchester
publicly uttered a stern rebuke to the Gu
rate for marrying young and establishing
a family of nine on an income for one.
"Curates," said the Bishop, had nc
right to marry when they are young
But sometimes that is the only thing in
the world that some men, not nece ssaril1
curates, can do, and surely every mar
ought to be compelled to do something
True the man who can do anything else
| isn't apt to make avery good husband
but then he doesn't make a good bachel-
or either. So-but having carried this
| question to point where we don't know
what to do with it, we will leave it in the
hands of the convention.
IN THE NAME OF SWEET CHARITY.
Needy Stranger-Sir, will you not
kindly bestow trihe to assist an unfor
tunate man, who is at present the mali
support of an aged mother, the sands OF
whose life are running out in poverty
Heartless Citizen-Get out; l never give
anything to tramps. Needy Stranger
! Fellow have a care how how you speak
l am the Prince of Wales, soliciting j u
! bilee subscriptions. Citizen comes
| down.