Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-14
SQUIBs


The more miser starves himself the
more pursy he gets.
Stiggins has married his type-writing
girl Before they were married he was in
the habit of debating to her, but now
she dictates To him.
Wife-"Oh, Doctor Benjamin seems TO
be wandering in bis mind!" Doctor who
knows Benjamin Don't trouble about
| that-he can't 60 far.
/ 1t is when baggage comes to
handle the luggage of a star actor that he
realizes the force OF Hamlets remark
about Norick--a fellow of infinite chest
A country editor says; AN interesting
article entitled, The Soul After Death,
and What Becomes of It. is crowded ont
thus week TO make room .or more import
ant matter"
The aerolite that fell in Indiana the
other day is said TO weigh two tons.
When the American people shall build
monument 60 their liars, il will be formed
| exclusively of two-ton Indiana serolites.
What wonders of anomaly,
Oar varied occupations give!
ne Nldpti may bbNh AIAt 10 uNts
As well MS we may dye to live.
Ina Carson, Nevada, saloon recently
two miners entered upon water drink,
ing contest GA a wager of $50. One Of
them managed TO swallow n glass OF two
and then became i'll. IL is never safe to
break in too suddenly on established
habits.
A PHYSICIAN says: "If child does not
thrive on fresh milk, boil it," He does not
We should thiul, there would be danger o.
boiling too long.
Mother, what is an angelo"
"hIy dear, it is a little girl with wings,
who flies"
But heard papa telling the governess
yesterday that she was an angel Win she
n.y."
Yes, my dear, she will fly away the
first thing tomorrow"
FRANkrE(age FOUR: mamma, a lady AZ
school kissed me TO day"
Mamma; did she, dearS ] hoped you
kissed her backY'
Frankie(very indignantly" No, l didn't
kissed her cheek"
why do you set your cup of coffee on
the chair Mr.. JonesY' asked a landlady
of fashionable boarding house. III is so
very weak, Madam, was the reply, that
thought | would let it rest
CustomerGn restaurant Waiter this
chicken has feathers in it,
Waiter-Y Yes, sab. If yo' want soup
made outer chicken dat am old nough TO
l.. In1 ..h 10, en-, "a
der establishment.
II never argy again success said
Artemus Ward. when | see rattle
snaix's he'd sticking out of hole, bear
off to the left and says to myself, that
hole belongs to that snaiI."
A talented pianist, Nine. de We're --,
sitting at dinner by the side of Colonel
Rammellot, asked him in an amica)le
tone: Colonel are you very fond of
muster" Madame" replied the warrior,
rolling his eyes sayagely, 81 am not afraid
of it,"
"My dear, why are the eggs always hard
at breakfast nowY' asked Mr.. SnagRs
"They must be eggs of the new her
replied Mrs. Snaggs, thoughtfully." ~ NJ
new hens Why should their eggs be
hard?" They are Plymouth Rocks, yor
know
maggie" he said TO the hand painted
waitress at the Catskill Hotel. maggie,
! you may bring me some roast beef and
"Mss Margaret Bangs is my name, sir,
she replied, and people call me Miss
Bangs. | may bring your roast beef,
may II Well, I'll tell the lady who waits
on this table"
Whore boarded out last Summer,
In New Jersey, each new conner
Was promised by the landlord he'd find
lively company;
And met there Mr.. Cule1,
10 Mr., Climax, Mr.. Pulex-
Which means only the mosquito,
And the bedbug, and the flea.
II reads triAe paradoxical to see a
cargo of salt cod noticed under the head
of fresh arrivals.
Many Englishmen are wondering why
Buffalo Bill has never been elected 20 the
American Presidency.
"fiave you heard of the lady who is di-
viding the Presidents attention with
Mrs. Cleveland? ?" asked Mr.. McSwilligen y
"Graoious, no." replied his wife. who
is she?" "Sara Naclake.'
If law were passed, remarks the To
ronto Telegram, requiring all citizens "a
wear white plug hats on the occasion of
every mass meeting or gathering al
which people are liable to become excited
there would be no need of police. Men
with plug hats never begin row.
Remember thai the stuff you drink
Upon the outside shows,