The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-01-23
Maxim. an Editor outen o, Him.

'GOod morniu sir, Mr.. Printer; how IS your body
to-day2
I'm glad you're to home, fer you fellers is aays a.
runnin away.
Your paper last week MT so spicy sharp the
one week before;
But spose when the campaign is opened you'll be
whoopin' it upto 'em more.
That Teller that's printin 1.-THE Smasherr is goin fer
you perty smart
And our folks said this mornin'. at breakfast they
thought be was gettin' the start;
But hushed 'em right up in minute, and said
good word for you
told em blieved You tryn' to do just as we'll
And told EN- that some was sayin', and whoever
twas it is So
That you can't expect much of no one man. nor blame
him fer what he don't know.
But, layin' aside pleasure for business I've brought
you my little boy Jim,
And thought would see If you couldn't make an
editor outen o him.
my family stock is increasin while other folks seem
I've got right smart of family-its one Of the old
fashioned Sort
There's Ichabod Isaac and Israel a-workin away on
the farm;
They'll do bout as much as good boy. and make
things go off like charm.
There's Moses and Aaron sly ones and slip like
couple of cells
But they tolable steady in thing they alays
git round to their meals.
There's Peter is busy inventin' Though what he in
vents can't see1.
And Joseph is studyin medicine. and both Of 'em
There's Abram aud Albert is married, each workin
my farm for himself,
And Sam smashed his nose at shootin and be is
The rest of the boys all CROWN cept this little
tad which is Jim,
And thought that perhaps be maxim an editor outsn
O him.
He amt no great shakes for to labor though I've
labored with him good deal
And give him strapping good arguments, know
he couldn't help but to feel;
But he's built out of secondgrowth timber, and roth
ing about him is big,
Except his appetite only, and there he's good as
apig;
And take him among the pertatoes, and set him to
pickin the bugs;
And then there's things to be dom a-helpin' the
There's churnn and washin' of Dishes and other de-
scriptions of chores;
But he don't take to nothin' but yctuas and he II
never be much I'm afraid,
So thought it would be good notion to learn him
the editors trade.
His body too small for farmer, his Judgment is
But thought we perhaps could be maxim an editor
outen o him.
It amt much to get up paper, it wouldn't take him
long for to learn;
He could feed the machine Tn thnkin'; with good
strap.in' fellow to turn,
| And things that once hard in dom, is easy
enough now to do;
| Just keep your eye on your machinery. and crack
your arrangements right through.
used for to wonder at read1n and where 1t got
up. and how;
But tbs most of it made by machinery it all
plainenough now.
And poetry too is constructed by machines of differ
emit designs
/ Each one with gauge and chopper to see to the
| length Of the lines;
| And hear New York clarvoyant is runnin' one
sleeker than grease,
And arentin her heaven born productions at couple
of dollars apiece;
And since the whole trade has growed easy, 'twoul6
| be easy enough, I've whim,
/ If you agreed to be maxim editor outen o
jim"
The editor sat in his sanctum and looked the old
in the eye,
Then glanced 1t the grnning young hopeful, and
nfully made his reply:
| us your small unbound edition of Moses ant
Solomon botha
Can he compass bis spirit with meekness and strang
/ natural oaths
Can he leave all his wrongs to the future. and carry
| his heart in his cheek2
/ Can he do an hour work in a minute, and live
| sixpence a week.
Can he courteously talk to equal and browbeat
Can he keep things in apple-pie order and do halfa
/ dozen at once2
Can he press all the springs of knowledge with anicl
| and reliable touch,
And be that he knows how much to knew, ant
knows how to not know too much2 -
| Does he know how to spur up his virtue, and put
| ek-rein on his pridea
| Can he carry gentlemans manners within rhinoce
| ros hide!
Can he know all and do all, and be all with cheerful
ness. courage and wilma
IF So we perhaps can be maxim an editor outen
| him.
The farmer stood curously listening while wonder hi
| visage DER spread,
| And he said jim Iguess we'll be goin' he's probs
/ Will NJ Carleton