The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-08-25

The Merry Side !

One thing certain-a soldiers reunion canno
laugh at an old ladies' tea party.
"a
The extent of the G. A. R. squabble was-Rose
Grams and Cleveland endorsing each other.
| % +
The last days of the great Camp Meeting
should be set apart for making up quarrels.
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Our Democratic friends would treat thei
stamp of treason as a scar-it is a birth mark.
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We rejoice that Tom Powell was a soldier
but he didn't stay long enough to get acquaint
ed.
The apologist for the doggery business alway
fears "free whisky" That is, he says so-an
lies.
The fatality of the Democratic party is that
leaves disaster behind and meets disaster ii
| 'front.'
Who is it that howls when the war is men
toned? Why, the fellow that got whipped, O
course.
The way to avoid danger from the elephan
! ts-to attend the Reunion, all the time. Thinl
of this.
To see the Court and lawyers watching eacl
other with six-shooters, gives on a true idea O
Kentucky justice.
They had Riddleberger in jail in Virginia las
week, for contempt of Court. They expected
him to control his feelings.
"oh, I'm at my wits endw said simpkins.
eyes the first endp' exclaimed a savage ole
gentleman.
Texas editor shot man, and was justi1 ed
| Certainly-but what puzzles us is, how did ht
| buy the revolver?
| An alarming report comes-that the weather
has been so hot and dry that the grashopper
| have starved.
There are still few men left in Morehead
KY, and they're watching to get a shot at one
another.
They haven't had a revolution in the Sand
wich Islands for two weeks. The King must bt
getting lonesome.
An exchange talks about "the decay of pray
err Well, some of them are old enough-i
they're not too dry.
The Chatsworth horror is laid at the door ot
carless section. boss. What did the company
want with such boss.
&.s
The Administration got even with the bril-
liant Gen. Grosvenor. 1t fired his brother from
office, because he was Republican.
To hear, from Northern Minnesota, com.
plants of cool weather, sounds like the dim
tar-distant muttering OF a campaign liar.
Henry Lautenschlaeger, of Cincinnati struck
a woman with bucket. If he had thrown his
name at her he'd have knocked her silly.
II.
The Democratic State Committee is unload
ing big lot of cheap experience. The party
will sell short, at the close of the campaign.
The Johnnies have big picture OF Second
Bull Run, stuffed and put aawy. They haven't
secured picture of Nashville, or Atlanta, yet.
How the Democracy howl with assumed joy
when an old soldier gets a big pension. It's a
reactionary feeling They shot at him for four
years.
The daily press announces that "Private Dali
zell will make some speeches for Foraker" 1t
is not stated whether he will make any for the
people.
CIeveland's chance for second nomination
depends upon whether the Democrats think
they can elect their man. If they do, down goes
Grover.
It has come to be pretty clearly established
that wooden Railroad bridge, soaked with
grease, is not good thing to have in dry
weather.
Some of the railroads of this country ought to
be compelled to set brickbats under their bridg-
es, so that they would be strong enough to bear
the trains.
A young Cincinnatian laid himself liable for
"disturbing the peace, on last Tuesday. He
stole policeman's hat and mace while the lat
ter was asleep.
Jake Pettijohn, a Georgia man is to be hung
after respite of thirty years. He got the res
pite by taking to his heels, when the Sheriff
wasn't looking.
A Kentuckian swore he was offered hun
dred dollars to kill man, and declined. Yet
they kill men in Kentucky for the price of
drink of whisky.
The verdict of the jury at Morehead, KY, on
the murderers of the Logan boys is "not guilty"
1t was expected-but it was hoped the people
would chang the jury"
The righteous man will leave the world amid
the tears of the people. A vindictive man will
also leave the people in tears-because they
can't kick him any more.
+.+
Mrs. Langtry is going to Saratoga with
whole carload of horses, carriages, silks and
diamonds. And many girl will look sweeter
in calico "Mother Hubbard"
Mr. Powell will be Governor of Ohio."-Com.
Gazette.
No, he won't! Not even then.
The Soldiers Home at Dayton uses every year
fifty gallons of castor oil and one thousand six
hundred pounds of salts. No wonder some of
Jhe boys ask to be delivered from such place.
The glanders doctors of Hardin Comfy are
nonplussed. When horse gets the glanders,
he's generally SHOT. Now a man in that Coun-
~ has the glanders, and they can't decide who's
to shoot him.
A New York man dreamed he saw the city
ZEN years hence. The people only worked six
hours day, and spent the rest of the time
drinking beer and watching prize-fghts and
baseball games.
A new war ship, the "Atlanta," was recently |
put TO the test and the guns proved that they |
would kick the vessel to pieces. What's the |
use of a Democratic administration trying to |
ool with cannon?
sit is my duty" said the Minister, "to lift up |
he fallen, reclaim the degraded, and make men |
,t them"
An old Democrat got up and walked out. An
,ther political preacher!
The boarding-houses in Lima, Ohio, raised |
he price of board, and the boarders raised |
themselves and lit out, to a man. Now the |
andlords can charge all they please.
A New York dude threw stump of a cigar |
,tte among the folds of q ladies dress, and near
y burned the lady to death. The dude had |
,uffed smoke in ladies faces so long it didn't |