The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-21
Conversation as q Study.
Kate SaMbor,l, ill Jonrnnl of Ed1tcntion

send her out into the critical, censorious
world with a limited vocabulary, little
knowledge of the subtle meaning, the ms
and outs, the lights and shades of her own
language, scanty information on current
topics, less power to communicate what she
had read, and a few silly stock phrases,
which wish could be obliterated. The best
scholars seem 20 be awkward shy and silent,
unless drawn out upon their favortte study;
the more frivolous and superficial chatter,
indulge in superlatives, and giggle. Is this
too severe2 A wise old bachelor, who has
had uncommon social opportunities and who
is always crfticising his women friends in q
way at once cynical and helpful, said to me
the other day; "Why don't you start a
strangely neglected At least you can
write about this and try to wake women to
the fact that they do not converse. They
seem to merely open their pretty mouths
and let the words tumble out without any
plan or forethought ! asked young lady
who was attending one of our best boarding
schools what instruction was given there
in conversation, and she had never heard of
such thing being attempted" So he set
me to thinking and writing. Prof. Townsend
has given you series of admirable essays
on conversation. | am sure he will not OBJ
ject to my following in the same track with
few homely, everyday, actual illustra-
tions. Let me speak first of unmeaning and
annoying phrases which are universally
used by the slipshod talker.
Some of my friends, after making a state
ment that is self-evidcnt, and that any one
but an idiot could comprehend instantly,
will lead me along as it. non c0HlpOS with
tiresome, dye see Z" Sec "Seer' usually
accompanied with n monotonous gesture or
wave of the hand for added assistance and
explanation, as if the rather simple sentence
was an abstruse geometric problem, which
must approach by gentle degrees and with a
deal OF boosting.
/ once visited an otherwise agreeable
couple, where the wife would respond to all
said, ITO be sure" Ito be sure and the
husband used this odious ''see' constantly,
until l was forced to give up the intimacy.
They were good friends, but uncomfortable
from this habit.
"Doncher Rmow?" ard 'all that sort of
thing" are far too common. Others use
you know to punctuate their remarks,
when | do not know; or, ''as you say"
when have not said anything Of the sort.
Listen to the superlatives that pour out
from the lips of the average young lady OF
married woman.
First and last let me anathematize "per-
fectly lovely" Bah! that is truly nauSeat-
ing venture to affirm that that much
abused phrase is used at least ten times
daily, by every schoolgirl, every college
girl, every young lady in this country. 1t
is the stock phrase at Smith, Wellesley and
Vassar; in fact conversation would droOp
and languish without it. A young lady
comes in to see me, and she begins: 30
Miss Sanborn, how perfectly lovely your
rooms are! and isn't it lovely TO live in
fat and you have an elevator-how lovely!
Its just horrid to climb three fights as had
to yesterday, although the bride called on
was so lovely didn't mind, you know. Her
rooms were fitted up so lovely with her
wedding presents, don't You see, and she had
on perfectly elegant reception dress-just
too lovely for anything, doncher, know! |
can't describe it, but it had lots of Jet on sa-
tin, and twas just lovely. Her hair, you
know, is Just that exquisite, lovely chestnut
shade, with a ripple of gold, dOncher know,
and all that sort of thing. You don't know
how | enjoyed your reception last week, the
music was so splendid And that pretty
woman who whistled, wasn't she beWitch-
ing! just too lovely for anythingl And the
men you do get such nice men-good look
ing, and such swells! Oh, ma and | said
when we got home that it was perfectly
lovely"
/ have heard that phrase applied to
young pig, to a sausage, to an opera, to
cOrpsei
l would like to start a society for its sup
preston and extinction. Ii a fine of one
penny had to be paid every time it was
used, we could raise million-dollar monu-
ment to Gen. Grant, send fifty thousand
young woman to Montana, put all the sew
ing women and superauous woman in easy
circumstances, and send out another Arctic
expedition. Others compel you to answer
their decidedly stale remarks, their truisms,
thier platitudeS by constantly appending
Don't you think sou Don't you agree
with me-" For Instance: Il don't believe
in divorce where there are children, for a
mother is always mother, and father
is a father still-don't you think soH'
am also distressed by the reiteration of,
"Ii that So" when I am endeavoring to in
terest friend in some news. OF course it's
So or my veracity is called in question.
1t is distressing to hear certain phrases
used as a substitute for wit, as this, which
is extremely popular: my trunk went
over the wrong ferry" said an unaccom-
plished and travelled college graduate to me
the other day, land so | had to trot down to
Barclay street TO look it up" | looked at
the tall, graceful intellectual girl. and
wondered how she could think it added to
the humor or interest Of her narrative to
say she trotted, when in reality she took the
elevated train and rode there. Or, hear
girls say. 81 pranced about, and let him
know was vexed." Do they desire to be
thought coltishs And again, notice such
an odd phrase, II went to work and told
him all | had heard about his last mash He
was all broke up, and yesterday he went to
work and wrote ME just the loveliest note,
just killing, and explained it AN; so |
thought must just trot down to tell you all
about it,"
just one more word that should be ia
booed 1t is "well" Let each one who
reads this count how many times he or she
begins a sentence with it in one day. |
watched a distinguished professor of litera-
tive conducting Shakespeare class, and
counted over thirty ''wells," with nearly as
many infections, during the first half-hour
Giggling is not conversation. Many seem
to labor under that delusion. If compli-
mented, they giggle; if embarrassed, they
giggle; if amused, they giggle; if they are
in want Of new theme, they giggle; If they
want to show appreciation of others's talk,
they giggle. This bad habit spoils the eff
feet Of the'best anecdote or the quickest re-
tort Don't be afraid to laugh, but don't,
0 don't laugh and talk at the same time.
There are various kind of giggles used TO
punctuate conversation, as the shrin ''te-hee.
te-hee," and the shifting giggle, and the
nervous, half-hysteric giggle, etc, etc.
Watch your own conversation this week
Watch your friends, and quietly study their
faults-not to attack and annoy them but to
learn what 10 avoid.
And another time I'll report some STYLES of
conversation am Obliged 10 listen to with
onnearance Of interest