The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-09
BRIGHT BITS.

CIGAR DEAI.ER-I have something new in
cigarettes want to show you, Mr.. Dumley.
Dumley-What is it, tobacco?-NeW York
Sun.
WHAT do you sell that ribbon for!" asked a
young lady in dry goods store.
Eight dollars week-oh, beg pardon-5Oc
yard miss Washington Critic
SUNDAY-scHooL SCHOLAR to teacher of a Sun
day-schooi class, vino has related the parable of
the prodigal son-Well don't think he was
very smart 70 eat husks when hungry. Why
didn't he kill one ob dem little Burlington
Free Press.
SAN-Don't tole me dat, Frank Oar was free
men on bases, an you couldn't ketch dat ball
De kind Of balls You want is Goldfish balls, an
den we couldn't get EN- past you mouth widout
dey was ia a gTipsack You neber ketched
nothin' onless it was de measles. Go way dar:
Judge.
THAT LEFT HIM 0UT-'The true gentleman :"
said She will never iHhct pain. and | never
can respect a man who IS not true gentleman -
Then, Mary" he said mournfully, Il suppose
that can hope for your love no longer:"
WHY not, Edward
I'm dentist, you know. - Lincoln Journal.
DER amt no use tryn square shake in dis
sher country" said tough looking young man.
What de matter, piece onto you again.
Nav But | ind stan Jimmy de Bruiser S
got tHice't as big photograph IN the Rogues'
Gallery as L have. Anybody knows | stand
higher in de profession dan he does. - Washing
tOft CFAttC
Mr.. BLOSSOM think my dear, we ought to
have a frleze on this spOm.
Mrs. Blobson-Oh, now, don't he so extrava-
CANT my dear! You know how beautifully the
frost comes out on the ceiling Of itself in the
winter suppose we put the money into tar
paper and new clapboards.- Burlington Free
Press
You promised to love and cherish me forever,
and we have only been married two years, and
now what has become of your everlasting love
and affection?
Young husband-Great Scott, You are
always kicking about something. How long did
Won suppose this everla sting love was going TO
last anyhow:-Teras Siftings.
AQUAKER's OATH-A Quaker, being interro.
gated by Alderman Wilkes. could not be pre-
vailed on to answer plainly the questions put to
him. Wilkes, being naturally irritable, was at
length in a violent passion. and swore at his
prevaricating friend 'Dost thou not know, "
said the Quaker that it is written swear not
at ally''
Il do not swear at all " replied Wilkes. ''only
at such fellows sou. who will not give direct
answer. London Exchange.
OMAHA BOY lin New York)-What are all those
men rushing into that place for:
New York boy That a bucket shop
What thatsn
They hug and sell stocks there on margins
SAINT as they do in the exchange,
"Oh, It's another exchange eh?'
NO it's bucket shop
well bow do you tell the differencef"
why, one is in a great big building and the
| other in a little bit of a one. Omaha World
PRoMPTER Ito leader of supers at dress re
| hersal Of the stirring Roman drama, Right
| Against Might. Now, are you all right with
| the cue:
LEADER am so. sir. Win the man in the
| sheet (togaJ hollers to she gurrul
Prompter-The girl,
| Leader Katy Field we get ready, and whin
he sings out Rum and Crackers--'
Prompter (frantici "Caitiff yield, "-''Ro me
and Gracious, stupid,
Leader-Jesso. sir-we are to go for the char
in the brass wisteoat.-HGrpers Weekly.