davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
The American Agiculturist

For April 1887, offers its readers remarkable va.
tanning To the farm, garden, hearth and house.
hold. The front page engraving presents several
spirited Florida scenes, another full page illus
phesants Some fifty smaller original engrav-
ing are devoted to various animals, plants, I'M
plements, barn and house plans, etc, etc. Among
tne very many TOPICS ueateu are; wrong I'M
grating. a. s. Fuller; sowing flower seeds, and
floral designs, Peter Henderson, ornamental
wild flowers Of the plains, Prof. Chas. f. Bessey:
orange culture IN Florida, DR.. =. 4. Newton; bet
ter seeding, Col +. ID. Curtis truck farming in
the south, DR.. a. 0emler: beneficial insects, Mrs
Mary Treat. The household and boys and girls.
departments are, as usual, with interesting mat
ter, and in the pages devoted to the exposures
Of humbugsa relentless war against every kind
OF fraud Is waged. Price sl.50 per year, English
or German; Single numbers Is cents. Address
American Agriculturlst 751 Broadway, New York.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
&aYed HIS lie

Mr.. ID. l. Wilcoxson, of Horse Cave,
KY, says he was, for many years, badly
afflicted with Phthisic, also Diabetes;
the pains are almost uncomfortable and
would sometimes almost throw him in
to commissions. He tried Electric Bit
tiers and got relief from first bottle and
after taking six bottles, was entirely
cured. and had gained in flesh eighteen
pounds. Says he positively believes he
would have died. had it not been fol
the relief afforded by Electric Bitters
Sold at so cents bottle by G. A. Wells
Il Co.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
CORRESPONDENCE.
Budget From Brockway.

Fishing is good in the creek here.
One day last week Jas. Colt caught ~
pike.
}. T. !!oskiu has just received n car
load OF buggies. wagons and aSricultu-
raj implements. lie can supply you
with any farming tool you want. and
viii sell cheap. Cali end see him.
Died. on Thursday, March 81, infant
child of Mr.. and Mrs. Jas. H. Moore,
aged | | months, ~ days. He was too
good for this world and Jesus took him
TO His arms. TYRO.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
fnnrhsanh Ids

Are the inevitable results OF sudden changes in
the weather. Immediate attention should be
given them SO that they may not become estab-
lished agd result In Bronchitis, Congestion, inia
nation or even Consumption. Hamiton's Cough
Balsam soothes the irrltated membrane, and as
sists in removing Phelegm and Mucus, that by
it's adhesion to the membranes. causes violent
Coughing. Great relief is received by even those
I'm the last stages of Consumption. In Group and
whooping cough II is unequaled. Price % and
30 cents per bottle. Sold by G. A. Wells < Co.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
DanEer.

Do you know that you are liable TO attacks Of
Dyspepsia and all kinds of Stomach derange-
ments? Yes worse still, To that result Of Kid
ney and Liver disorder that Is known rs Diabetes
or possibly Bright's Disease. They are often IA
tai and that i'm a very short time. Loss Of appe-
tite, Sour Stomach, Dimness Of Vision, Dizziness
Pains in side and back and many others are but
symptoms OF disease. BE wise IN time. Parme-
lees Dyspepsia, Diabetes, Kidney and liver cure
Is the sovereign remedy. Large bottles $500.
Sold bV G. A Wells & Co.
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
DON'T SPEND TIME TO READ THIS

you Dry Goods Groceries, Tin Crocky Boots
Shoes Hats Caps and general line of merchandise suited the
of the pb which cordially and
before purchasing elsewhere We constantly receiving New Goods
which with cash. will be underod We have adopted
price system liberal and patronage
goods and the SAME PRICE ALL
the gallon and 36 inches the yard
Come Ware here show goods and quote
We thankful and by fair dealing merit
tinuance of the
Very Respectfully,
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07

Waterman 4 Benedict have guam
tity of shingles for sale cheap. Call
and look at them at their store in
Peck. 80
Weekly expositor. (Brockway Centre, Mich.) 1882-1894, 1887-04-07
THE IMPROVED
Kalamazoo Spring-ToOth Broadcast Seeder
and S7l1lzv EIarrovv-

all rBoada
chrnt emotp c of the ne
attracting nvesaa
Ipimy df
whether walking the
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
MADE HIM FEEL AT HOME.

A Missourian who was stopping nj a Chicago hotel complained so loudly and with such frequency of the water that the proprietor called his manager and said:
 That old fellow is worrying me very much. l don't want to insult him, yet when he persists in saying that we have no water that is fit to drink it makes me mad. There he comes."
 Say, lan'lawd, I'll be dinged eff it ain't strange that yer kain't git no water fitten ter swaller. Pm about dead for good drink"
 "Pll get you somc," said the mana ger. "Wait until I come back"
 The manager took q pitcher and went away. When he returned, the old fellow had stepped out.
 w That have you got?" the proprie- tor asked.
 "Water from the Chicago river"
 "Great Cesar! it will kill him."
 II don't care if it does. Hush {! Here he comes"
 "Fotch that water yit?" the old fe- low asked.
 ''Yes, here it is."
 He took drink, "smacked" his mouth, took another drink, put down the pitcher, and said:
 "Why didn't you git this at fusi without hangin' back! Keepin' ii fur high toned fellcrs, eh? Wall, l want you to understand that Pm as good as anybody"
 "What sort of water do you drink at home?" the astonished proprietor asked.
 "The best in the world. We git il right outen tie swamp whar if is pnre an fresh. want ter give you little piece of healthy advicc,' he added again reaching for the pitcher. "When a gentleman stops At yore house, ii don't make no difIunce how he is dressed, give him the best you've got. Ah," taking another drink, this do make me feel at home"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
CHICAGO ILL., ROCK JUNE 1s 1884,

attitude. There k a law in this >tatr against rendering man ridiculous and am going to have this matter iuvc~- tigatcd, Do you know what think of youp"
 "l don't think of you M all," said the editor.
 That straw breaks the cameI'N back"
 "Well, then. good. bye, camel. Hump yourself down stairs"
 Now know you ae pumped out humorist." said Mir. Philbert as he turned toward ti,u ,ivur.
 "Nes, and you'll bc one If You don't hump yourself Noull bc pumped out of this room. Good byc. camel. :"
 Managing editors oi mighty dailies are destined never to become popular with the great American humorist.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
RELIEVED OF THE NECESSITY

Your answers seem Satisfactory" was St. Peters dictum. "and guess I'll let you in.''
 Thank you. sir, replied the applicant, evi- dently immensely relieved; 'and will you kindly direct me to the Chicago colonyT'
 Chicago colOny!" was the amazed exelama- ton. "There's such colony here, my friend. ."-New Fork Sun.
 Satan came up from torment on one occasion, and, while strolling around Chicago, met man and said:
 "I am looking for a man named Jim Billingsham."
 "What do you want with him?"
 q want to take him down to hell. He has been so wicked that I shall never feel satisfied until I take him home.0
 "You have come to the wrong town," replied the man. "Jim moved to New York about two weeks ago" :"
 "Ah, hahm exclaimed the devil. "Gone to New York, has he? We'll, I'll just let him stay there as it re- heves me of the necessity of taking him to he'll"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
PRICE, 6 CENTS,
A GREAT CRIMINAL,

man was artvsted In Kansas for Nioleutiy assanlting q stranger The nag ,>Irate l,ctbw whom the trial was held -ccmcd to bc kind- hearted and disp"~c,l 10 rmlo justly, and the OK ttrmc ear which he exhibited In the examination of tho case, at oncc com- mand"d the respect ot tho prosecuting witness
 "Mr. Jark,ol,.s aaid the magistrate, addressing the CgfeMsor. cit IA greatly to bc lamcutrd tliAt you % far forgot yourself as to sitilte this old man, and, sir l feel it {" le ny sworn duty to fine you to the hilrst extent Of tho law"
 Judge" MT .la kson reIolncd, "whcn you havr learned ali tho facts you cannot blamr u,c Tte accused mo of dishonesty and
 "Dut that gave yuu Il" lust cause for striking him with Il piutWrun.'
 And" Mr. .Iackson cont nueti, "he saId that he would not ElirSe me on oath"
 That was serious, it Is nue. Mir. Jackson, still it did not warrant such murdcrons assault. fll have lo Ane you"
 Walt n minute, judge, II wa> nat what hc Ald to me that caused inc 10 strike him"
 "Iou took up the defense of somr one eIse, then. Mr. Jackson, thai makes It still worse"
 Hold on, judge, After hc hui abused inc. he turned ,o nan who stood near and said, This town isn't on such boom after all.' could not stand that, your honor, l actually could not and hauled oir and knocked him down"
 A dark expression settled upon the magistrates iAoe. and, turning to the old man, he said; "lfvc got thIrty-six lots In this town. for slc cheap, for cash. and all of them arc excellent business sites. Now, you, a stranger whom l have never harmed, come along and attempt to depraciate my property. You, sir, a nlhilist in thls srsa; wh!s! ef Improvement, coms here and attempt to assassinata the monarch of our growth. Wy, blast your communicate buttons, we ought to hang you. Do you mean to say, sir" the judge bercely demanded, "thnt my lots arr not worth two hundred dollars npiecef Yes. you do mean to say it." he exclaimed without giving the old man chance 10 reply. "ycs, and you mean to do worse thsn that. You mean to turn this great commercial emporium into grave yard. Here, constable, put thosa new hnndeuils on this fellow. Boys, come around tonight nfter the real estatn exchange closes and we'll attend to him"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
"W'y, it's this: Let's git old Uncle

"W'y, it's this: Let's git old Uncle Zack Baker, of Benton county, to sing song when his name is called"
 He's been voting for Berry all the time and his singing won't do me any good,' Jones replied.
 "Yes, but give him chance to sing and he'll change his vote. He's pining away for a song. His system jest nachully demands it. Without hear ing himself sing occasionally, his life is as void. as aimless and as destituta as the editor of the Batesville Guard"
 May heaven preserve him front such fate"
 "Well, then, he must sing. If he don't, the rocks will sing for him."
 "But," said Jones, ''don't you think that it would be advisable to let the rocks do the singing?"
 "No; for although they mout beat the old man singin', yit they can't vote so we'll"
 That's fact Tell him to sing"
 " hen Uncle Zack's name was called he arose and began to sing song in praise of Jones; and, just as he had en- tered upon the sixty eighth "varse," an influential man arose and ex- claimed:
 "What do you want us to do. old man?"
 "Want you to vote for Jim Jones" !"
 of you'll shut off your valves we'll fine you"
 The old man shut off his valves and Jones was elected by handsome ma- jority. The president of the senate "hung fire" a little, but when Uncle Zack braced himself and again lifted his voice, the conquered dignitary ex- claimed: "Hold on, Uncle Zack, l vote for Jones'"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
COULDN'T JOKE A LITTLE.

"I will have you understand" said young man addressing an old fellow, who had. ID answer to s passionate ap- peal, declared that he did not want bis daughter to marry Il popiWay, "that l s;r ye;:. superior h every respect have dined at the most exclusive clubs in New York and Boston"
 Al side table after you ind fin- ished waiting on the members, ehf" snh the old fellow.
 The young man bIazed with the an- ger of mashed pride and seemed to be on the threshold Of committing some violent act, but then, erowdinR his wrath down iD corneT 0f discretion, he repiicd.
 "If you were in the least acquainted with gentility oi birth you would not address me thus. You probably do not know, air, that several Of my aD- ccstors were Companions of the Bath"
 Hot and cold water at that said the old fellow. My dear young fcl- low, those bath.housc men are pecn- liar; and when they leave their work in the barbershop, tbey--hold on, don't bc In hurry. l wouldn't mind giving you twenty Ave cents, but"
 "i asked for your daughter, sir"
 "rhaf's so. thought you wanted twenty five eents.7
 "Y0u siaii suffer for this.'
 "If don't get shaved at some other shop expect 1 will"
 "By the wsy,S said the young mar, q have little bill against you.S
 "Oh, well, if the affair has got to be serious, take the girl. A man can't joke little without being trod out of shape.r
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
OUGHT TO LET HIM JUMP.

American men of letters, no matter how much appreciation they awaken at home, are never satisfied until they meet with recognition in England. The attention which was shown Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, during his recent visit to the land of Tom Hood, must have been extremely gratifying to the learned and genial old gentle man; and 1t is with deep regret that we are compelled to publish the fol- lowing conversation, which, tine other day, occurred between two distin- guished Englishmen at well-known London club house:
 "You have never met Oliver Wen dell Holmes, believe"
 "No; have been 30 internally busy ]"
 "A very pleasant gentleman"
 "So hear; and don't you know I think the police did wrong in arrest ing him. If he insists on jumping from the bridge they ought to let him jump."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
WANTED REFERENCE.

X negro who had bought scvonl small articles in n store operated by n "leading colond merchant" turned to the trndosman and Slid:
 "llolc on CT mint, sah, fore ycr wrap mp dem goods"
 "Well," replied the merchant, paus- ing and looking cnquirIngly at his customer. "what is it?"
 "Fo' take desc hcnh goods wants ter know If yer ken gin me rcftlncesr"
 "Rcf'unces :" exclaimed the mcr- chant.
 "Yas, ro;t;nces Ia regard to yer specerhility, sh."
 "Wnll, Ill swar," said the merchant. dis niggcr Is ernufr to take CT man's pref"
 "l ain't gwinc fer take yourn, femme tell yer lessen notices CT power ful impiubcment olcr whut it wuz when got CT whiif Q it les now, but dnt ain't nedcr ober hcnh nur obcr dar. wants yer to gin me rcflnocs UT kain't take desc henh articklcs." "Oh, yer wants me ter warrant dc goods, does yerl"
 al doar keer nuthin' bout de goods, l wants rfunces bout ycrse'f dat's whut l wants Tuthcr day, when 1 mubed ter dIs htah place mn wanted ter rent cr house, CT bald -headed nig ger wid CT face like CT rusty wash pot hoppcd up, he did, nnd axed me cf ! had refunce. 'IIcnh's my r.funce, ~z l. gwinc down in my jccns an fetchin' out de money. oh, doan doubt bout de money says he, but yer know we mus hab rcfunces con sarnin' yer spekcrbility.' Den l tole him dnt want de pusson whut he wuz lookin' arter, an bowed ter him. did, an bid him CT pleasant cbcnin' Den 'cludcd dat 1 would boad CT while. fou'n' CT place dnt pleased ne moiHtrous fine mn toIc my wife ter go on up ter de room, when CT yallcr nigger dat put me in mine O one e desc ycrc fros'- bit shangha axcd me fer rcf,ince. Dat made me so ashy dnt wanted ter fight right dar, did, but wife she lowed dat we'd better 20 off down town an git suthin t'cat, an ez 1 did happen ter be sorter haungry, l let her drag me crway rum de yaIlcr sc0unrcl dat 1 wuz eetchin' fer knock down an tromp under desc yer feet. All dese p'iBts opened my eyes ter de faek dat in dis yere white mars town cr pns- son could'n' do no bizness lessen he could give refIncc, an 1 wuz so much tuck wid de hee dat i'sc gwine ter bop ter it: s0 now, ef yer wants ter do bizness wid me, whar's yer rcfnDccI"
 "All dat doan' fit my casc. Pm CT uercbnn and wbut l sells---'
 "Gwine ter gin me de refuDce!'
 "I say de goods speaks"
 "Gwine ter gin me dat refuDec!'
 ''I nnzlerstaIf bizncss as well ez any body, an when sells CT lot O goods"
 "I axed yer Ia yer gwiDe ter gin me de refuIce."
 My bizDess 'tegrity---"
 "Dat's ernuG," said the customer. 'I secs dat yer is spicious O yer own caracker, aR dat settles It wid me. Jes' put dem goods back dar, aT' when yer caracker prubes so much dat yer ken ford ter gin me CT refuBee, I'll take 'en. Good day, sah."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
VOL. II. MO- 4. CHlCAG
A DANCE SONG.

Turn yer podners, come erroun dar, Wher yer gwine, my httle gal? Down de middle, roun' erbout dar,
 Way go wid chunky Sal. Tony Johnson, whar yer podner?
 Wilson, ain't yer gwinter dance? Sorry, fellers, dat we'se lef' yer
 Brocky, swing ole lazy Nance. Wander comes ole Miss Terbify.
 See her waddlin' cross de tio'S Got her eye on Nelson Peters
 Stephen, boy, your cake is dough. Smell dat sweet shote meat CT cookin' 1; Smell de veal O Hensey's caff; How de banier is r-talkin,
 How dat fiddle wants ter laff! Grab yer podners; come ter supper;
 Plenty fur us all ter eat;- Den we'll come back keener n ever
 Fur ter jerk de kidney feet.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

An contemplating rascal in St. Louis sold six hundred invitations to the Queens jubilee baii before the police could sufficiently recover from tbeir surprise to arrest him; and than, in of his courtesy in eezsd. ing complimentaries to the mayor and aldermen, he was at once liberatsd.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

A Chicago newspaper in attempt ing to say: "The organ rumbled and then David Swing appeared" re- marked that "the ogre grumbled when David's wing appeared"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

"Oh, take me; take me away" sings poet in a Boston newspaper. Yes, take him away. Stand not upon the order of your taking, but take him at once.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

Extract from London Court Jour- noI. "Hon. W. F. Cody Buffalo BilD was close companion of man named Boone, who discovered Ken lucky in 1869. Mir. Cody married a granddaughter of distinguished gen. tleman, known as Sitting Bullfrog. Cody was twice governor of Chicago and was at one time mayor of the Ar kansaw legislature. He served in the Confederate army, in the command of General Butler, who so gallantly de- fended New Orleans against the threat ened invasion of the Federal General Longstreet. After the war MT. Cody went to congress from the province of Detroit and introduced a measure for the relief of the citizens of Buffalo, which gained for him the name of Buffalo Bill. He has contributed largely to the Atlantic Monthly, a newspaper edited by Mark Twain and Uncle Tom Cabin, man who is mainly noted for his negro dialect sketches. Mir. Cody has ranch of many acres in St. Louis, where he keeps large lot of Indians and ponies constantly on hand.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
LIM MNINGS.

The war magazines are still publish ing 'generap literature.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

In de work O dis heah life, 'cour- agement erInouuts ter ex much ez erbility. I doan keer how much sense CT man hab got, ef he has ter work under CT lack e 'cOuragement, he ain't gwine ter do his best.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

have rarely heard of more brutal instance Of sacredotal arrogance than that which cor respondent complained of few days ago. The hero of this story is South Kensington vicar, who tubbornly refused to stop the ringing of a strident-toned bell at 7.45 am. when told that lady lay painfully i'll in an adjoining awake throughout the night. This reverend gentleman's logic seems to be a deficient a $ his sympathies, for on being asked to stop the nuisance he replied that the bells were a com niahi from God and were worn by the prieSt S in the time of Moses-Ld6oarehe's Corre. spondence
 Such cruel arrogance does the cause of religion more harm in one day than Bob Ingersolfs lectures could accom- plish in ten years: yet, lovers of creeds rail at Ingersoll and declare that he is dragging the thoughtless people of this country down to an awful he'll The brutal wretch who refused to stop ringing the bell, even though he knew that the lady's life depended upon it, will continue to be reverenced by men and worshiped by women. He will continue to get down and ask God to bless his work and to lead him not into temptation. Indeed, he would read the burial service over the woman whose death he might have prevented, and, with disgusting at tempt at sanctity, raise his eyes and say: "Thy will be done, oh, Lord :" He thinks not of Paul, who would not eat meat if it offended his brother, nor of the Saviour whose life was modest, beautiful and sublime.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.

like CT man. De mo sense he's got de bigger raskil he is.
 When I sees CT nigger preacher dst I has played craps wid de night bef0' git up an beg de sinners ter come up ter de bench, gits 70 full o laugh dat wants ter holler right dar.
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-01-21
THE LEAGUE FORMED,
AND SOME FINE SPORT PRE-
DICTBD
Fer she Lovers OF Baseball Next
summeF-The Reduction OF
the Forfeit Did Ii.
lspEsrAL TO TIE APPEAL


BIRMINGHAM, ALA, Janusry 20.-Tne
Southern League met in this city to-
day at the Clifford House, with Presi-
dent Morrow in the chair, AID the
following clubs were represented:
Nashville. by W. ]. Cherry; Charles
ton, by Kirby S. Tupptr; New Or
leans, by Tony Hart and Thos. Bren-
nan. President Morrow read the
minutes Of the October Meeting
and made a long statement in
regard TO the unenviable way
Atlanta, Macon and Chattanooga
had acted and the promises
which they had failed to fulfill. Mr..
Upper offered resolution to reducs
the forfeit to $1,000, which was adopt
ed. A letter was read from Mobile
Offering to put up 5000 forfeit and
Join the League. Mr.. Upper present
ed the application of Savannah for
admission under the $1,000 forfeit.
The applications were received
and Savannah and Mobile
were formally admitted to the
League. A motion to admit Chatta-
noogs and Birmingham, if they saw fit
to enter the League under the $1,000
forfeit, was offered by Mr.. Hart, and
adopted. President Morrow was an.
thorixsd to admit them, provided each
deposited the guarantee by February
LIST. The visitors were formally
invited by committee of
citizsns, headed by Mr.. Hol-
lev, of the Age, to at
tend the theater and partake of a
banquet tonight. John s. Kerr, the
Memphis delegate, did not arrive
until o'clock this evening, to the re.
greet of the other delegates present.
1t is probable he would have voted
for the reduced forfeit, as it was GER
tainly the best way out OF the muddle.
The League still lives and the Memphis
people will be afforded come fine sport
next summer, judging from the pre-
dictions made by attending delegates.
Irwin Brewer, the able travelling repre-
sentative of Reach & Co., Philadelphia,
was at the meeting and made some
very pertinent suggestions, which were
well received
1t was then orded that the president
admit two other cities at his discre-
ton if they apply. Formal applica-
ton was made for Birmingham, and
President Morrow was notified after
the meeting that her forfeit money
was in bank subj ct to his order,
and it is considered certain she will
be taken in, abundant capital being
assured to equip the club in fine style.
Nothing was beard from Chattanooga,
but it was thought she would wish to
come in now, although it was decided
not to make the change she wanted,
guaranteeing SO per cent. to visiting
clubs.