davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
A Vermont Irishman.
Ben: Perley Poore's "reminiscences.

Ben Perley PoOre's "reminiscences.
Matthew Lyon, naturalized Irish
man, when a representative in congress
from Vermont, was fined $1,000 and
imprisoned four months for publishing
a letter calculated to bring President
John Adams "intO contempt" He was
strongly opposed to everything that
was royal or sovereign and when Il
national coinage was discussed, he Oh
jected to the eagle being put on, be-
cause he was the king of birds and
therefore inappropriate as a republican
emblem. Judge Thatcher of Massa
chusetts, who was always characteriz-
ed by good -natured mirthfulness, re-
piled that perhaps it would be well to
take the goose for our emblem, for that
bird had nothing ajestic in her de-
pertinent nor could her humble rank
among the feathered tribe give offence
to the most fastidious republican.
Moreover continued the .judge,) Cos
lings would be IL very convenient stamp
for the ten penny pieces and fippenny
bits. This caused il great deal of mirth
among the members, excepting Lyon,
who was SO offended by it that he clIal-
lenged the facetious judge to ii duel.
"What arrangements will you make ,"
inquired the man who carried the clal-
lenge. "NOne at ALL" replied the
judge. 'Why are you willing to be
called a coward 7" ayes, because am
a coward, and he knew it very well, or
he never would have challenged me-"
This turned the laugh upon Lyon, who
wisely concluded that there was no use
in trying to fight with ii man who fir
ed nothing but jokes.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
CRANKS.
Baltimore american.

The crank, like the tramp, is much
abused and misunderstood in this
world of inequalities. Hardly any two
people agree as to a logical definition
of a crank, except of the most pro-
nOunced or violent kind. In the eyes
of the world, which judges them by
appearances only, the tramp belongs
to the lowest stratum of life. He may
be foreign count, whose identity is
obscured by the lack of fashionable
clothes, or he may have taken his de-
gree from the best universities in this
or other lands; if lie has made ac-
quaintance with that jOvial gentleman,
John BarleycOrn, and stuck to his
company, as his followers usually do,
with the usual results, the mark OF
failure to every one, except the truly
sympathetic, is upon him. Henceforth
he is regarded as too far gone ever to
be made respectable.
The crank, on the other hand, be-
longs to all conditions of life. 1t has
been said the biggest fool is the old
fool. OF cranks, the old and the rich
are probably the worst Affections men
have to deal with, except the cOnceit-
ed crank, whose imposition on any
community is clearly special mark of
the divine displeasure. By a crank,
some say, nothing more is conveyed
than what the Germans mean by their
word krank-that is, a sick man. If
SD, it is objective sickness. The crank
makes yeu sick, not you him. Others
say he is only an individual eccentric
in one or more particulars, out of the
normal center, or, as the vulgar say,
off his nut. Persons of this kind Gf
not insane or tending that way) have
an abnormal development of some
power or characteristic. By education
or indulgence some part of the individ-
nal has been exalted into prominence,
and often dangerous prominence, at
the expense of others.
Life is too short for one to enumer-
ate all the classes of cranks- We NAV
ask, however, if you ever saw a relig-
iOus crank-not the fanatic, but the
man who thinks he has patent way
for saving the world Christ never knew
of; the social crank, thing of dress
and show, without brains, of silly dis
tinctiOns and modes, aping i'm others
what is foreign and unnatural to the
aper-living fleeting, worthless, col
OtiCco CAiSSOhSO bhO Vi aim,
cruelty called lobbyist and schemer !;
the political crank, man of high NOR
al ideas and perfect methods, that will
purify and ennOble state and federal
governments, without faint or suspi-
cion of being boss or collar wearer !;
the cOnceited crank, whom that com
mon sense philosopher, st. Paul, may
have thought of when he said, "When
IA man thinketh himself to be some
thing when he is nothing, he deceiveth
HIMSELF" the mercantile crank, the
speculative crank, the honest crank,
who knows he is one, and is frank
enough to say so, and hundreds of 9th
ers.
The world is full of all kinds, and a
mighty interesting study it is to inves-
tigate them. But a person Is not
crank necessarily because he is said to
be. Certain peculiarities of temper,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31

disposition, intellect, are as much
part of one mans individualism, which
differentiates him in degree and kind
from another, as the color of eyes and
hair, and the expression of the face.
Individualism must have sign. A
wide awake enthusiasm and an intelli-
gent spirit of inquiry in search after
truth, is not evidence of eccentricity.
Different methods with different peo-
pie. If there be intelligence and order
in work, swiftness is not undue or
reckless haste. 1t is where there is a
want of logical connection in what is
done-signs of bungling, slurring ne
glect, and ignOrance-that the crank
or fanatic shows his hand. 1t is true,
however, that too swift may arrive as
tardy as the slow. Cranks, like tramps.
have their uses in this world of ours.
Like the bones by the wayside in the
desert, they show the traveller to what
end the misdirected and ignorant may
come.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
A Wonderfully Successful Treatment.

In the history of medical science, there is no
physician who has done more for the alienation of
human suffering and the of disease than DR.
Royce. Receiving his thorough medical education
at the best medical colleges in the land, he early
became convinced that the mode of treating disease
by means of poisonous drugs always resulted in
injury to the system. He therefore turned his
study and investigation to the harmless vegetable
remedies in the laboratory of NATURE. After
graduating and receiving his medical diplomas he
further pushed his Investigations in the treatment
of diseases, by vegetable remedies, twice visiting
the hospitals of Europe in order to prosecute his
research among the methods of treatment in the
OLD WORLD.
Life being too short for a physician to learn all
there is in the vast science of medicine he has
made the study and investigation of the treatment
of one class of disease-the of chronic or long
standing cOmplaints-a life work and the result
is certainly marvellous. Vegetable remedies were
discovered for different diseases, which were won
derful in their effects. Thousands of cases of
chronic diseases given up as incurable by other
physicians, were restored to sound and perfect
health under the of these
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
PATENTS.---R. n. EDDY.

No. 76 State Street, opposite Kilby Street Boston
Secures patents in the United States; also IN
Great Britain France and other foreign countries.
Copies of the claims of any Patent furnished by
remittiDg one dollar. Assignments recorded az
Washington. No agency in the United States pos
superior facilities for obtaining F0te5tS or
GeeTtaining the pdtentabiLity Of intentions. X. H.
EDDY Solicitor of Patents.
STINONIALS.
81 regard Mr.. Eddy OF the most successful
and capable practitioners with whom I have had
official n Intercourse. CHAS MASON.
Commissioner Of Patents
Inventors cannot employ a person more trust
worthy or more capable of securing for them an
early and favorable consideration at the Patent OF
fce"-EDMUND BURKE, late Commissioner Of
Patents
Boston, October 10, 1876
r. H. EDDY, Esq.-DeaI Sir you procured for
me, in $780, my first patent Since then You have
acted for and ad vised me hundreds Of cases aud
procured many patents, reissues and extepsions
have occasionally employed the best agencies in
New York, Philadelphia and Washington, but
still give yon almost the whole Of my business in
your line and advise Others TO employ you.
Yours truly GEORGE DRAPER.
Boston. Jan. /. lefty
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
SQUIBS.

The fishery question "Did you
bring the flask with you, Jack p
Knights of Labor who enter their
luxurious headquarters in Philadelphia
complain that after hard days work
it makes them tired to wade up to
their knees in velvet carpet Omaha
World.
Customer Ito boy in coal office)-
ga ton of stove. How much is it 2"
Boy fifty, an twenty five cents
for putting it in" "Well, you will
have to slate it," estate it? That
coal is half slate now, mister"
Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox has
sailed for Cuba, and the Buffalo Ex-
press says: so lady-bird, lady bird J;
soft be the winds that bear thee away
to the south Rose leaf, rose leaf float
on DER the summer seas Red-headed
singer of passion; sail in and have a
good time ]"
Wife-"I don't see how you can say
that Mr.. WhitechOker has an etfomi-
nate way of talking. He has IA very
loud voice."
Husband-''I mean by aA effemi-
nate way of talking, my dear, that he
talks all the time"
Clergymen are called upon for odd
services sometimes. A lady uptown
consulted her pastor the other day
upon the troubles she had in the
kitchen. He said in reply that he
thought there would be better feel
ing between mistress and maid if
they prayed for one another more. 81
am willing to be prayed for" said the
lady, "but not to be preyed upon"
Il New York Ledger.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31

Mrs. CELIA GosSELIN, who resides Centre
street, was tor two years afflicted with spinal dis
ease aud was unable to do any thing much of the
time, and was unable to leave her bed. During
the two years of her illness she constantly
ployed physicians, but one and all pronounced her
case lncurable. She reduced II flesh almost
10 a skeleton, and was hopeless AMI discouraged.
1t was in this condition that she c.llled DR..
Royce to consult with him. and after being treated
b. him two months she is able to do her own work
and is robust and healthy. She has gained greatly
IN flesh, and is, far as her former complaint
concerned perfectly cured. She called and
stated the above facts, which we cOrrObOrated by
inquiry into the case, and wished to publicly
acknowledge her gratitude to this MUSICIAN for the
relief he has brought her, and add to those al
ready published her recommend of Dr. Royce's
methods and treatment to other afflicted ones. Dr.
Royce informs that the of Mrs. GOsselin
was a very promising one. and when he first began
did not promise her a cure but thought he could
relieve her in a considerable degree. The success
which attended her treatment is therefore no less
gratifying to him than to thei patient.-l Rutland
Rev
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
The Deaf Hear.
Rutland tvtJ Review, Sept. Is. 1885.

lRutland (Vt.) Review, Sept. Is, 1885.
Of the hundreds OF cases successfully treated
by Drs. severance Il Royce during their stay here,
our personal attention has been directed a mum
Der; but perhaps none OF them is wonderful
than that Of tile twelve-years old daughter of Mrs.
Ellen Davis of North Chester, Vt. From early IN
fancy this child has been very delicate, and was
long sufferer from caIarrh OF a very distressing
anu obstinate nature, causing at times enlarge
menJ OF the tonsils 10 that degree that with
dlfhculty she could swallow solid TODD. The child
has always been deaf-in later years it being Il
most impossible To make her hear an thing. The
child WAS put under treatment from Drs. Sever
ance & Royce not, however, until physicians had
expressed The opinion that there " as no help for
her. From private letter from Mrs. Davis We
quote follows:
Last May my attention called to the ad-
vertlsement oil Drs. Severance IL Royce, and L de-
termined to make one more effort, having, howev-
or, little faith that she would receive any benefit,
The result Is truly astonishing. She u
healthy child, can bear exposure 10 all kinds OF
weather, aud Is entirely cured of her deafness.
Every one who sees her remarks ON her improved
appearance and regards it simply wonderful
that such change should take place IN 50 short a
time. would advise all who similarly atfct-
Ell to consult these physicians without delay"
This case is more remarkable i'll that the child
was deaf almost from birth, and it IA
stItutional difficulty than local. Drs. severance
~ Royce have had remarkable success in the
treatment of Deafness and they have i'll all chronic
elections; and so long they here all suffer
ers should take advantage of the visit and consult
them.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
He Never Had Been There.

Joseph K. Chandler, who was "a wing
editor and representative in congress
from the city of Philadelphia, used to
tell a story about the examination of
GOtleib Scherer good looking Ger
man beer-hOnse keeper, by George NJ.
Dallas, precise gentleman of the old
school, with wealth of white hair
Mr.. Dallas expected to make strong
point by eliciting something out of the
following questions
"Were you at Harrisburg, Mr.. Scher-
er, in December Z"
"At Harrisburg in December, did
you say, Mr.. Dallas ~
Eyes, sir, l said at Harrisburg in
December"
Putting his head down thoughtfully
for moment, he replied, "No, sir, 1
was not"
"Were you at Harrisburg in Janu-
AIRY, Mr.. Scherer ~
SAT Harrisburg in January, did you
say, Mr.. Dallas 7"
eyes, sir, l said at Harrisburg in
January"
Relapsing into thoughtful mood
for moment, "No, sir, L was not at
Harrisburg in January"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
A Blighted Life.
Atlanta Constitution.

The news comes from across the wa
ter that the ex-Empress Eugenie has
applied to the syndic of Naples for
permission to minister as hospital
nurse to the wounded soldiers who
have been brought in from MassOwah.
To this complexion it comes at last.
The brilliant beauty who was once
the toast of every court in Europe ends
her career shattered wreck, striving
in painful round of good deeds to
forget her days of gilded vanity.
But this dazzling woman has missed
none of the sweets of existence. She
queened it over IL constituency of
crowned heads. Hers was literally a
primrose path, and she followed it to
tile end. The old world threw itself
at her little feet, while the new accept
ed her lightest word as law in all that
concerned taste, fashion and social
ethics. From the day when Eugene
de MontijO first rose full -Orbed lumi-
nary above the tinsel world that cir
cled round the Tuilleres and st. Cloud
down to the gloomy hour when the
tremendous tidings of Sedan were
flashed over the wires this woman
seemed to monOpolize all the sunshine
of the universe.
The gorgeous pageant of the impe
rial sham faded away. The last of the
NapOleOns died disgraced exile. The
rising hope of the Bonapartes fell be-
meath the spear of naked African
savage.
Was there ever such IL blighted life
1t is long step from royal purple to
sackclOth and ashes, but the dethrOned
SnvaraiUn no lOnOer Shuns humi Ii ation
aud penance. Perhaps she is her own
blOtted ont the memory of her follies.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Fiftv-Two Years of Suffering.

DIR. Royce during his former visit here treated
Mr.. j. NJ. GoOdenOugh OF PIttsfOrd. Vt, for a
chronic difficulty of So years standing and also for
a kidney trouble from which he had suffered for Is
years. Mr.. GOOdenOugh is II years of age, and his
recovery from both complaints is the more remark
able that account. lie had tried various ph ysi-
clans at home and abroad without relief but in
three weeks after he consulted DIR. Royce he was
relieved of both. He was in office the other
day, looking as hale and hearty many do at fifty
years, and he was very pronounced in his endorse
ments of DIR. Royce. Mr.. GOOdenOugh is of
the wealthy men in this section, and his character
for integrity and veracity we'll known. There
fore, when he says that DIR. ROyce's treatment has
cured him, it is believed that such is the case
And great is his confidence in this physician
that he has had invalid daughter and grand
daughter come from New York to be treated by
Reyiew, Oct. 20, 1895.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
The Margin of Profits.
Edsoard Atkinson in April Century.


From the fullest investigation which
| have been able to make, | have be-
come more and more convinced that
ten per cent. is the maximum margin
of profit on all production in this coun-
try, and that even a less proportion of
the product of il normal year is all that
can be set aside for the maintenance or
increase of capital; conversely, that
more than ninety per cent. of each
years product is consumed by those
who are engaged in it's production, AS
working people in the sense in which
that term is commonly used. Of ten
per cent. or less which is or may be
saved and added to capital, a very
large share will become the property
of those who are themselves working
people in the strictest sense-anOther
large share will be saved by persons
of moderate means, while the share of
the rich will be but the lesser part of
the whole SUN of profits. This view is
sustained by the very small margin of
profit which now suffices to draw capt.
tai into any and all the principal arts
which can be analysed.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31

"Well, Mr.. Scherer, were you at
Harrisburg in February 7"
"Did you say at Harrisburg in Feb
ruary, Mr.. Dallas 2"
eyes, sir; answer me if you please,
| said at Harrisburg in February"
Studying for a moment or two as
before, mo, sir; | was not at Harris
burg in February"
Getting somewhat out of patience
with him, Mr.. Dallas, elevating his
tone, demanded: CAT what time then,
sir, were you at Harrisburg 2"
"At Harrisburg, at Harrisburg, Mr..
Dallas. never was at Harrisburg in
my life, sir ~
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Health,

Being such priceless blessing it behoOves those
possessing it to to it that it is not lost, and
those who have it not, to resort to such means as
will effect its restoration. 1t becomes question,
then, what physician shall we employf Physi-
clans cannot be equally skilled in the treatment OF
all classes of disease.
The common doctor, though he has the in
clination has neither the time the facilities to
give the study to the treatment of chronic COM
plants, which is absolutely necessary to under
stand their complications and their cure. He has
not seen acase like yours; he feels be cannot af-
ford to loose your friendship custom he is too
proud to tell you that he knows nothing about the
case, and so he experiments with his drugs until
your case becomes critical and perhaps, ineurable
On the contrary, DIR. Royce. who makes specially
OF chronic Diseases understands your case at once
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Dr.. E. w. Royce.
Stay Prolonged until
April 2 at the Avenue
House..
Remarkable Discoveries in
Medicine.
A Certain Cure for all Forms of
Chronic Diseases.

Health and disease are physical conditions upon
which depend pleasure pain, eOntentment or
unhappiness, success failure. Health is essen
tial to the accomplishment of every purpose, while
sickness thwarts the best intentions and loftiest
aims hence people cannot afford to be sick. The
human being is the browning work of the Creator;
and when this complicated structure exquisite
ly wrought, is disturbed by disease, the most suf
ficient aid should be sought from the most skilled
physician, for the human body is too precious to be
neglected.
No physician can be equally skilled in al, forms
of disease, and no one in the common, every day
practice of medicine possibly compound the
necessary remedial agents to chronic linger
ing diseases DR.. Z. W. Royce of Boston, now at
the Avenue house, st. JOhnsbury, w.t. has met
public need and is great benefactOr to the sick.
His means are so ample and his resources so
abundant that he is enabled, in almost all cases
of chronic diseases. to effect perfect and complete
cure by means of HARMLESS VEG ABLE
REMEDIES.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
A Modern Solomon.
HAMPTON Herald.

Both sides proved so much that
Judge Dicken was in doubt about who
really was the right owner of the ne
gro child. Bethinking himself of a
Bible precedent, the judge proceeded
to grasp the baby by the leg, reached
down to his girdle and pulled ont his
bowie knife, and proposed to do the
square thing by the claimants by slic-
ing the baby in two. Both claimants,
thinking the judge had right to di-
vide the baby, rushed frantically up to
him, saying: "Boss, don't kill him.
You may have him."
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
FOX SALE

BY JACOB G. HOVEY, Receiver of the New
England Lumber Company of Victory, follows
1 Shingle Machine, ClapbOard Machine, Clap
board Log Lath Machine Counter shaft and Pull
legs for ClapbOard Machine, 1 ClapbOard PlaDel
complete, CIapboard Butter, 1 Lath Clipper,
Lafh Machine, Watcher, complete. Centre-boart
(extra), Board Trimmer, Planer. Single Ma
chine Saw Mill complete a lsO 700 acres of lanC
and two houses. The above property will be sold
in whole or in part to suit purchasers.
ST. JOhnsbnry, March IA, 1887. 90tf
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
He has seen and cured many like 1t; he admins
ters the proper remedies and restoration to health
is the result
Office open from a. m. to p. m, at
Avenue House. st. jOhnsbury, VT.
Case of Rheumatism Cured, called Pa
ralysis.

Cured after all other doctors have failed. Mr..
Henry A. Daniels of Aliddesex, W., was attacked
last spring with what his physician called" Far
alysis OF his right arm, in a short lime losing the
use OF his arm aud fingers. and sweled To enor-
nous size. He suffered the most excruciating
pam, which united him for any labor, and soon
became so bad that he could not feed himself with
that hand or move finger. After. exhausting the
home talent he consulted other experts, which
gave him up lncurable. Perfectly cured by Dr.
Royce two weeks. u Will answer all in
Qulres.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Make Hens Law.

1t is a well-knOwn fact that most of the Horse and
Cattle Powder I'D in this country is worthless :;
that Sheridans Condition Powder is absolutely
pure and very valuable. Nothing On Earth Win
Make Hens Lay like Sheridans Condition Powder.
Dose, one teaspOOnful TO each pint of food. Sold
or sent by mail for - cts in stamps.
We furnish it in q h. cans price. sl.0O. BY mail
s1.50. Six cans $500, express paid. Very valua-
BILE Circulars Free.
l. S. JOHNSON & Co. BOSTON. MASS.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Given Away.
Omaha World.

"Fannie," said Sixteenth street
mother to her pretty daughter, didn't
hear Frank kiss you last night when
he went away 2"
"No, ma'am, you did not" replied
the daughter Indignantly.
"No2 ?" said the mother, suspiciously.
"NO, you didn't; because Frank shut
the parlOr door before"
Then the girl stopped and blushed,
and blushed again, and made rush
for her own room.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-03-31
Remarkable Medical Discoveries.

The Doctors constant study has been TO perfect
the treatment fol this class of diseases. Year by
year new discoveries have been made-the result
of patient investgatiOn-until at present a system
of curing all forms of chronic lingering diseases
is established at his office which is open at the
Avenue house, st. Johnsbury, VT. The success of
which is without parallel in the history of med-
cine
The reason of the Doctors great popularity
throughout the country is because he cures his pa
tients, uses only harmless vegetable remedies, and
charges only moderate price for treatment. AL
though having large and extensive practice, and
having his time in constant demand the Doctor has
steadily maintained his