davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
A pious Mans Excuse.

Sollcitor-G General Jenks was discuss
ing the weather, morally and meteoro-
logically, with a good old Pennsylvania
Presbyterian.
"Do you think" inquired the Solicit
tor General, "as some do, that hot
weather Is conducive to unlawful
deedsI"
IL most certainly do" replied the
deacon.
"That's what Others say; but / hardly
believe it's the hot weather"
"Oh, yes, 1t Is; it is nothing else
under heaven. There's my own case,
for instance. You know, taking me by
small and large, l am pretty fair
Christian" ..
GAS good as they make them," said
the Solicitor-General, as earnestly as If
he were giving legal decision.
-"Well, sir, one of these sultry nights
last week woke up about the middle
of the night, almost cooked, and found
my wife tanning away for dear life.
What's the matterp she asked. Its
so---hot,' / said promptly, and you
know l wouldn't do such thing as that
under any other circumstances, don't
youp
The Solicitor-G General thought a min
ute and said he believed, with the testi-
mony presented, that the weather was
guilty, ll laf
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
PAIN Is MENTAL.

The Scientific American thinks that
the agitation in regard to the cruelties
practised on animals has been rather
overdone through ignorance OF the
nature OF pain, which, it'insists, depends
essentially upon the mind, aud not upon
the nerves. All animals OF lower grade
than human suffer very much loss pain
from physical injuries than our sensations
convey to us. We can readily SEQ the
proof OF this in their habilual actions.
Many OF the starfshes detach parts of
their arms at the very smallest proyoca-
tion, and remain uninjured by the
change or loss. A fish that has torn
away the hook from line in its strug.
CLING to escape will take the bait again
as soon as its fright has passed of, and
while the hook still remains in the jaw
which it has perforated. A fawn whose
foraleBwas wounded by q shot had it
Snppu1lStd without anmsthetics, and gave
lscarceT assign OF pain. Coming stillI
higher, We recognize the fact, which is
perfectly well known, that savages of
the human race pay small attention to
injuries. Again, every surgeon sees
convincing proof in his daily experience
that the sensitiveness of his various
patients varies 80 widely that there must
be some cause for it beyond that which
is physical. There is no such wide
diversity in the nerve tissue OF their
systems as can account for the extreme
differences with which they not only
manifest pain. but with which they
doubtless feel it. The conclusion is that,
though the transmission Of pain is d.
pendent on nerve fbres only, its scat txnd
origin are beyond, and are truly not
physical at all. Pain is mental.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
Made Her Paw for Her Airs.

When Boston was Fanny Kembel's
home, and her Summers were spent
here and there in rural Massachusetts,,
she engaged worthy neighbor to be
her charioteer during the season of
one Of her country sojournings. With
kind-hearted loquacity he was be-
ginning TO expatiate on the country,
the crops and the history Of the
people round about, when Fanny
remarked, In her imperlous, dogmatic
fashion:
"Sir, ] have engaged you to drive
for me, not to talk to me-"
The farmer ceased, pursed up his
lips and ever after kept his peace,
When the vacation weeks were over
and the dame was about to return to
town, she sent for her Jehu and her
bill. Running her eyes down its awk-
ward columns, she paused.
"What is this item, STRIP she said.
81 cannot understand IT."
And with equal gravity, he rejopaed;
"Sass, s5. I don't often take 1t, but
when do I charge
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
Another Chance for Puzzle Workers
THE JUDGES I'd PRIZE OFFERING
IN BEHALF OF THE
GRANT MONUMENT FUND

In spite OF Its more or less complicated
character, the JUDGES Grand Word Contest,
Just ended has proven great success. BY II
Judge has enlisted over 5000 energetic, spirit-
ed and intelligent workers for the Grant
Fund, has materially swelled the total pre-
viously received through tho Grant Monu-
ment Committee by the contribution of O
good sized check, and has in addition divided
$500 among eight successful and happy puzzle
workers as reward for their labor and inQe-
nuity. Judge now inaugurates second con-
test OF an even more popular character than
the flrst-a contest In which every school
child can engage and stand an equal chance
with older competitors
Every person who, in conformance with
governing rules, sends to the Judge Grant
Fund, on or before June 18th, 1887, i2 O'clock
noon) 30 cents and the names of the eleven
most popular living men In America will be
entitled to participate in the contest. The
money thus received Will be appropriated as
twenty-five cents will be at once credited
TO the Grant Fund.
The remaining twenty-five cents, after de-
ductlng the legitimate expenses of advertis-
ing, will be placed in n common fund to be
divided equally among the six competitors
having the fullest list of the most popular
people as indicated by u majority of all the
lists sent In. The new contest is, In fact,
based upon the principles OF an election, each
competitive paper virtually acting in the ma
ture of ballot, and the six lists Containing
the greater number of the eleven names
SHOWN 10 pe the most popular by majority
pers. ~
The magnitude of the prizes will depend
on the amount OF money received, or in 9TH
OF words on the number of competitors. The
names and contributions of competitors Will
be acknowledged (and ptogress of the fund
shown from week 10 week In Judge. Gov
erning rules In thls weeks judge circulars
mailed on receipt of postage. Requests for
copies OF paper must BIO accompanied by ten
cents. Address, "GRANr FUND"
THE JUDGE PUBLISHING co.
3s Park Row, New York City.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
Parliamentary Ceremonial,

An English correspondent writes:
Another absorbing study to me is the
election of the speaker. Rising mod
estly from back bench, Mr.. Arthur
Peel thanks the baronet who has pro-
posed his healthi mean his reelection
--and Mr.. Gladstone, who has seconded
The nomination, expresses his desire
to maintain the traditions Of the house,
and his qualification at having been
elected three times within thirty
months. Any new member who has
never seen Mr.. Peel before must say to
himself: "What a very insignificant
person this isl I'm afraid of him. by
George, I'll kick up the devil of row
and snap my fingers at him." But
presently there is change in Mr.. Peel's
bearing. 1t is the duty of the baronet
and Mr.. Gladstone to lead the newly
elected speaker of the chair. The
baronet leads the way, Mr.. Peel follows,
and Mr.. Gladstone walks behind with
an encouraging finger on the speakers
elbow. Slipping right round the chair,
Mr.. Gladstone resumes his seat, having
performed this little march with the
dignity of a fine old English gentleman.
But now comes the marvellous change
in the deineanor of the speaker. He
does not don his wig, which is a pity,
for few lessons from Mr.. Toole would
teach him how to put wig on in full
view of the audience. But, whereas he
was retiring and unassuming almost to
insignifcance when he spoke as a
private member, no sooner does he
reach the chair than the divinity that
seems to hedge that symbol Of consti-
tutional government is breathed, as it,
were, into his whole being, and he
assumes at once the awe-inspiring
tone and the eye like Mars, to threaten
and command, and Immediately the
new member who has been thinking Of
high jinks changes his mind and be-
comes painfully serious. Finally, the
mace is taken from. It's undignified
position on the floor and placed on its
official porch by the sergeant-at-arms
in court dress, who also retires back
ward, bowling all the way. The bauble
against which Cromwell inveighed has
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
THE ROYAL paIaos ;opIsiADnrD.

e .
The royal, palace of, Mp4ril is one of
the most colossal AMI pps, NJ the most
magnificent foya, fcss f 6c., ~ n III tilew world.
The site Which it oceuhiCs IS said to be
TINT OF the original out3ost Alcazar OF
the Moors, where Epriqle ", resided.
On the destruction of this by fire on
Christmas eve, 1884 Philip v. set on
foot the construction ofa residence which
he intended to make into rival OF Yer
sailles The first design, by Felipe de
Jubara, Sicilian, was even Of more
ambitious dimensions than that actually
carried ont afterwartt by another archi.
tect, Giovanni Sacche;ti, OF Tnrin. This
plan, though smaller nnd less costly than
the original one, embraced the formation
of block OF buildings 40 feet square
and 100 feet in height, though tho wings
OF the stupendous etlifice have never been
completed. So vast, indeed. are its di-
mensions, so noble its architectural
design, and SO splendid its internal
decoration, that when Napoleon the
Great paid visit to Madrid to SEQ his
brother Joseph, whom he had made
mock king of Spain, the grandeur and
splendor OF the Palacio Real fairly took
away the breath of the cold.blooded and
cynical conqueror and art critic, who had
sneeringly remarked OF the cathedral OF
Strasbourg that it ought to be placed
under a glass shade, and Of the Duomo
at Milan that its wondrous marble
tracery would serve very well as q pat
tern for the laced border OF lady's
pocket handkerchief. On ascending the
grand staircase ho halted, turned to King
Joseph and said: Monsieur mon frere,
You ore better lodged than am."
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14


Next to the concierges, perhnps the
beggars are the greatest nuisallces in
Paris. They have been auglnen dng so
rapidly of late and becoF as 10 ag-
srsssisethat the project Of police 1ow
that the spirit Is abroad has resolved
10 expel them, and has issued instruc-
tions to police sergeants to get at the
number and conduct Of the fraternity
in their respective districts. Just
before they received the Anal cup be
bdlai the Temps has been entertaining
its readess with some sketches oftheir
private history. These Parisiaf beg
gars may be looked upon as the aristoc.
racy Of the mendicant world. Begging
has become afine artwith them. They
take to the streets from choioe rather
than necessity. They have got sort
ola circular newspaper to keep them
selves posted in coming events, and
Systematically take different beats.
Rows of them may be seen at church
doors when marriage or q funeral is
on, and they hang round the doors of
fashionable restaurants. The greatest
nuisances among the gang are those
who don't beg at all There Is aninsti-
tuition for the manufacture and train-
ing of this species. They play the role
of distortionists. Several joiners ara
kept at work in making small wooden
carts, stayes and various contriyances
for them. Their object Is to:draw
money from the public by their pifuus
and excruciating positions, and lot by
solicitation. And considering that
many Of them are so palpably frauds
it says o good deal for the gullibility
of the Parisians that they succeed.
The culs-deJatte-those who squeeze
themselves into a sort of wooden bowl
and propel themselves along the pave
ment with their hands frequently
combine the functions of thief with
those of beggar as they are justa con-
venient height to reach ladies' pockets.
According to the Temps there were
2,765 beggars arrested in Paris ineSSi,
and Abs in 1885. When arrested they
are first taken to a central police sta
ton, where they are asked to give an
account of themselves. Some are sent
to the hospital or to the Depot Of
Mendicity, others to their native
departments, and the worst offenders to
the police court. There is In Paris q
privileged or licensed class of beggars.
The police have always had power to
deal with others who on whatever pre-
tence received aims; but the general
liberation allowed on fete days seems
to have been allowed on other days as
well, until it has become intolerable
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14

The proudest triumph In a mans
life is when he makes a friend of an
enemy. The Joy is then akin to that
which angels feel as they rejoice over o
sinner that repenteth.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14

! The best ticket for New York
Alderman to run onis a railroad ticket,
says the Philadelphia North American.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14

FFor an example Of pure and unal-
loyed contempt take a barber's opin-
Ion Of the man who is growing q full
beard.--Lowell Citizen.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
tDaily except Sunday.
coNNECTIoNs.

CONNECTIONS.
At Roanoke Nos. 2and connect with Shen
andoah Valley Railroad. No. has Pullman
Sleepers to New York without change via s.
w. Railroad and Harrisburg.
AT ATLYNCHBURG Nos. 2and connect with
Virginia Midland Railroad for Washington
and the East.
burg daily at sos q m, and 90 p m. Pullman
Palace Sleepers from Bristol through to
Washington on both trains, via Lynchburg,
without change.
1928 p m, daily, and $40 p m daily, except
Sunday.
AT NORFOLK No. 2arrives 225 p m, con-
Meeting with Bay Line Steamer, leaving Nor
folk daily except Sunday for Baltimore at
0 0O and with Old Dominion for New York OH
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Thursday and
Saturday and with N. Y. ~ N. railroad, dali
ly, leaving Norfolk at 6.0n :, N.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
1887.
HARPER'S WEEKLY.

Harper's Weekly maintains Its position as
the leading illustrated newspaper In Ameri-
ca; and Its hold upon public esteem and con-
fldenee was mover stronger than at the pres
Ont time. Besides the pictures Harper's
occasionally OF two, OF the best novels of the
day, finely illustrated, with short stories,
poems, sketches, and papers on important
current topics by the most popular writer's
In tho past 10 make Harper's Weekly safe
rs well as welcome visitor TO every house,
hold Will not be relaxed In the future.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
1887.
HARPER'S Bazaar.

Harper's Bazaar combines the choicest liter
ature and the finest art illustrations with
the latest fashions and the most useful fami-
~ reading. Its stories. poems, and essays are
ny the best writers, and with its humorous
sketches are unsurpassed. Its papers on So
cial etiquette, decorative art, housekeeping
In oil Its branches, cookery. etc., make it In
dispensable In every household. Its beautl-
lul iashlon-plates and pattern-sheet supple
ments enable ladies to save many times the
cost of subscription by being their own dress
makers. Not line Is ad nitted to its OIL
umns that could shock the most fastidlous
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
HARpER's PERIODICALS.

Harpey's Basar, "a
Harper's Magazine, 400
Ha7per's Weekly, 400
Hagper's Young People, 400
Harper's Franklin Square library,
One Year (52 NumJers) 10 90
Hagpers's Handy series, One Year
(5s Numbers 10 90
Postage Free 10 all Subscribers IN the
United States and Canada.
The Volumes of tho Bazaar begin with the
first Number for January of each year. When
no time Is mentioned, subscriptions will be-
gin with the Number current at the time OF
receipt of order.
Bound Volumes Of Harper's Bazaar, forthree
years back. In neat cloth binding, will be sent
by mail, postage paid, or by express, free OF
expense provided the freight does Not ex-
ceed one dollar per volume) for 81 90 per vol
ume. l-slS
Cloth Cases for each volume, suitable for
binding, sent by mail, post paid, on receipt
of 81 90 each.
Remittanees should be made by Post-Ofiice
Money Order or Draft. to avoid chance of loss
Newspapers are not TO copy this advertise
ment without the express order of Harper &
Brothers. Address
HARPER & BROTHERS, New-York.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
nARPER'S PERIODICALS.

hN hisAh' -
Harper's Magazine 81 90
Harpers Weekly, A 90
Harpers Bdzar, 400
Harper's Young People, 900
Hdrper's Franklin Square Library,
One Year (52 NuDbers), 10 90
Ha7per's Handy Series, One Year
(52 Num6ers) is 90
Postage free to all subscribers inthe Uni
ted States and Canada.
The volumes of the Magazine begin with
the Numbers for June and December for each
year. When no time is specified, subscrip-
tions will begin with the Numbeercurrent at
the time of receipt of order.
Bound Volumes of Harper's Magazine, for
three years back, In neat cloth binding, will
be sent by mail, post paid, on receipt OF SO 90
per volume. Cloth Cases, for binding, 50 cts.
each--by mail, postpaid
Index to Harper's Magazine, Alphabetical
Analytical, and Classified, for Volumes TO
40, inclusive, from June, 1860. to June 1886.
ono vol. 8vo, Cloth, Si 90.
Remittances should be made by Post-Of-
loss. 80, .7I '7H =
Newspapers are not to copy this advertise
ment without the express order Of Harper q
Brothers. Address
HARPER a. BROTHERS, New York.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14

Pridei 10 the summer Of character, be-.
cause 1t goeth before a fall.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-04-14
1887.
HARPER'S MAGAZINE.

Harper's Magazine during 1887 will contain
novel OF intense political, social, anu ro-
mantle interest, entitled d"Narka''--a story OF
Russian iife-by Kathleen O'Meara; new
novel. entitled April Hopes, by w. d. How
ellis; southern Sketch s., BY Charles Dud-
Illustrated by Wu. Hamilton Gibson: Great
American ndustriesr--continued; "Soclal
Studies,D by DIR. X. I. Ely; further articles
on the Railway Problem by competent wrl-
ters; new series of Illustrations by E. A. Abb
hey and Alfred Parsons: articles by Il. p.
Roe: and other attractions
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian., 1887-01-18
The coteaux and White Earth
Country.

Prospect Butte Is twenty eight
miles west of Minot, Dakota, and its
Dome-shaped summit can be seen for
miles around. 1t marks the eastern
line Of the Fort Stevenson Indian
Reservation, and seems to have been
an objective point for the engineers
of the new line of the st. Paul, Min
neapolis and Manitoba Railway, for
the pegs set for the preliminary sur
veys nearly all converge on the north
side of the butte, where the road is
now graded and ready for the rails,
We assembled the butte and found
the view from the summit worry fine.
To the north is the grassy PLAIN ex-
tending TO the DeLacs. River, twenty
miles, TO the eastward the Mouse
river, and the wondrously fertile in
tervoning plain reaching to its base,
while TO the south and west are the
Coteaux, a confused mass of stony
hills, set down apparently without
the slightest order or regularity.
Lakes are very numerous in the Co.
teaux, seventeen being in view from
the summit of the butte alone. For
the next eighteen miles our way lies
through these CoteauX. We find
them well covered with grass, while
the intervals between their bases are
either occupied by lakes, or natural
hay meadows. These lakes vary in
size from five to five hundred acres,
aud are filed with the purest and |
best of water. With its perfect shell
ter, abundance of grass and water,
this will certainly be paradise for
The stockman. This kind of country
continued for an hour or so, when
suddenly, the hills broke down into
gentle undulations and then into a
mooth level plain extending for
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian., 1887-01-18
KENTUCKY KNOWLEDGE.

Jas. McElroy, the Henderson mur
dcrer, convicted last week, was sen.
fenced to hang May l3.
Caroline 0wsley, col, had hel
house burned at Stanford aud one OF
her children was DESTROYED in the fire
W. ID. Hamilton, proprietor of the
champion Touring mills, was killed
by the machinery in his mill at Fal-
mouth.
The last saloon license in Logan
has expired and the county is now as
dry as'the prohibition law can make
it.
Jno. b. Wadlington, Sheriff elect
of Caldwell county, failed to give
bond and Judge Allen has appointed
VIM. Coleman to fill the Office.
The editor of the Muhlenberg Echo
devotes five inches of double loaded
editorial matter to putting one of the
night policemen of Greenville.
County Attorney w. d. McCown
was arrested at Greenville last week
while engaged in gambling over a
game of cards with two negroes, who
were in his room. He was held under
u bond ofS200 for keeping gambling
house and released on his recogni-
zance on the charge OF gaming. The
Egho calls upon McCown TO resign
his office.
Miss McGhee Mcfarland has
brought suit for 5000 against j. S.
Montague for breach of promise, in
the Daviess Circuit Court. She al
leges that ho betrayed her under
promise of marriage and then left the
state before Dec. 1st, the time set, to
avoid the fullfllment of his promise.
The parties are well-known in Dav-
less county.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian., 1887-01-18

Both parties made nominations fol
Senator at indianapolis last week
The Democrats nominated Judge
David Turpie and the Republicans
re-nominated Senator BENZ. Harrison
The Lieutenant Governorship matter
was to reach decision in the courts
yesterday, Smith still'liolding on to
the office. The Republicans in tho
House unseated Meagher, Dem, and
seated Dickinson, Rep, from Vigo
county, Friday, leaving rs to rs OH
joint ballot. The Democrats will
probably expel the 10 Republican
members of the Senate in body, for
their conduct in claiming to be the
Senate in the alleged joint session
held by the Republicans. The vote
for Senator will bo taken tomorrow
and The chances are there will be a
split In the Legislature end two
Senators elected 4 There is no telling
how The muddle will finally be set.
tied.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian., 1887-01-18
ilOpkinSyille Retail Market


Corrected weekly by MCKEE \ co.
FLouR-Paient process. $500; choice xxx
beat family, $3.50.
coRs MRAL-Unbolicd, CSC; Pearl, or bol.ed
S5c. $50
BRAH-75c per ewt.
PROVISIONS.
Pork-s to loc net; Sc gross.
Bacon-Clear sides, to l0c; hams, 10 to lie;
sugar cured. IslSc; shoulders, s to 9c.
Lard-Country, . to lOc; snowflake, 100.
GROCERIES.
Conee-Choce, 90 to sjc; prime, Is to l0o.
'ugar-standard granulated, ~ to $40; pow
Tered, 10 to iskc; coffee A, to SO; rural c.
81 to Sc; extra G, 9 to 7ISc; New Orleans.
VIC.
MOlasses-S5 TO Csc.
syrups-ib to Soc; kegs, Les
sMt-9-hushol barrels, Sl.9O; B-bushel, sl.TI
soap-Per box, White Russian, $5.75; Blue In
Tia, ss..5; irish, $3.50; S. B. $500.
90; Alb light weight, sl.GO.
Oystors-Per dozen, 10 cans, full weight
i.co; 2-ib full weight, 81 90; In. light weight
sariines-llS boxes, zoe; French, ssc; 4 boxer
lOc; French, sSc; hboxes, Mustard, 1855 to 2os
Nails-3.00 Id. s5c additional smallsrsiTe
I Soda to 10;
Candles-ls to SOC.
Oils-Lard oil rs
Coal oil l. to zoe; Turpcntine SOC.
CANNED GOODS.
Corn, doz. sl.25 to 1850: Tomatoes Las TO l.ie
Pine Apples 100 10 $50; Pears $50; strawber-
ries l.so; Blackberres l.sO Peaches 500 to =. oo
Pickle, per gal. 40.
Chcese-Factory l2I1 to Is; Young American
is to 2O n. Y. Chedda ,71lto sOc.
Rice-11S to $50
Lemons ejc per doz.
Oranges ss G per doz.
Teas-Choice to Fancy Gle to LOO; Mixed 70
good 80 to 75c.
Chewing Tobacco-Greenville 81 to 500;
Gravely 25 TO SIC; stonewall a. to $40. lIavans
Clippings for smoking s.S to loo per package.
COUNTRY PRODUCE.
Blaokeyed Peas 81, 90 to 9.Ss "
Petatses-Irish lse; N. Y. State Early Rose
!. so bbl.- 1.20 bu
Eggs 200.
WHISKY.
Nelson County sS.sS.