Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-07-10

Alfhou9h you ere not LltoCpfhr IN a.
Wrour. Eben, andGthough country peooI.
vho i've near 10 nsturss hsast, have =.
tain ~fnalisusble rights which should 4.
respected, yet there b no work on etiousts.
which Govern the case you allude 10.
u would be very difficult for mo 70 vr;,.
out a code Of ethics for the government A.
your relative while In the country, ana
nom the description you give Of him 7
Indigo that We could not enforce Il any,,.
without calling ont the State troops.
Itake him TO belong 10 that clas NJ
New York business men who are 20 sctiy.
doing nothing every day that In order 10
impress people with their importance ths~
are in The habit of pushing . woman or two
of the Brooklyn bridge In their wild strus.
gle to get over into the City Hall Park and
ait down. presume that be Is that kinS
of a man here, and 20 We think you ouebt
to get along with him through July and
August If we take him for the rest Of The
year.
He il the kind that would knock down
an old woman in the morning In his effort,
TO get the first possible elevated train and
then do nothing else all day but try to nc.
ooyer from the shock. Iwould not be sur.
prised il he ultimately wrote q book on
etiquette which will inform o countrymap
how to conduct himself while he ia Ia
town. Maybe heis writing it now.
can imagine, Eben, what sad havoc
the son Of such o man could create in your
Quiet Piscataquis home. In my minds
eve | can see him trying to carry out hs
fathers lofty notions Of refinement and
courtesy. / can see his bright smile A
he lands 1t your door and begins to insert
himself into your home lie, to breathe
resinoas air OF the piney woods and to pour
kerosene into the sugar bowl, to chase the
delcomauis butte riY and put angle worms
in the churn.
In this mans book ON etiquette be will
doubtless say that should you have occa.
sion while at tho table TO use q toothpick
YOU should hold q napkin before your
mouth while doing 30 in order 10 avoid
giving offense to those who are at table.
1t is not necessary for You to crawl uu.
der the table TO pick your teeth or 10 20
out behind the barn, for by throwing a
large napkin over your head you can pick
your teeth with impunity, though you
should not use a fork, rs it docs no, look
well and il might put out your eye.
Nothing is more disgusting to n refined
mind than to Sc u mau ut table holding
one OF his eyes en- q fork and scrutinizing
it with the other.
In calling on o lady who il away from
home leave your card. IL the visit is in.
intended for two or thr,e ladies AT the
house leave two or three cards, but do not
turn down the corner Of the card. as ,ha,
custom is now exploded except in three.
card monte circles, and even then IL is rr-
garded with suspicion.
All these things, however, are for the
guidance Of people who come 10 town, and
those who 20 into the country are lett
practically without any suitable book 10
guide them.
/ do not know OF any better way for you
to do, Eben, than 10 write q polite note TO
Your relatives asking them IL they contrm.
plate paying you . visit tins summer, and
ifso al what time, and whether they will
bring Henry or not. Use plain white un-
ruled note paper, aud write only on one
side, unless You are q mugwump, IN which
case you might write on both sides.
Then il they write that they do 10 con-
template paying You u visit without pay
ing anything else, I do not know Of any
thing for you to do but TO 60 away some
where for the summer, leaving your house
fully insured and in the hands Of = reli-
able incendiary.
Write again, Eben, and feel perfectly
free 10 come and lean on me In all matters
of etiquette. Do not come 10 town with.
out hunting me up. You will find me at
the post Office forenoons aud Mt the pest
house during the afternoon. Yours, with
kind regards. BILL NyE.