The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-10-25
DEACON BUaoETTE.

Rome il is said, never see man. Enough
they do not know the taste OF cloves.
EAR, EAR
Mr.. John Cas- the candidatel-Doctor' my
ear aches all the time: what do you suppose
is the matter with il. Doctor after carelui
eSaminstionl-Gro pains
TOUCHED THF PLATE.
"Our dinner table" said Mr.. Newboardcr,
pleasantly. as he studied the pattern OF the
cloth. reminds me Of a time table. ana
whereforer inquired the prompter More
figures than fodder" was the soft answer
which turned on the wrath.
rHY FATE OF PYGHLLION.
"Pig pens close 70 the well, or clos 10 the
house saws The Farmers Friend. mean
death You bet. death 10 the pig. It's pretty
hard 10 locate the pen sOas 20 change TINS iatal
signifcatiOn, too
THY UNPhRDONABLE SIN
Justice I.ockmeup-Your fine Is so A.
tonished Lawbren ker-Twenty d0llarsl For
getting drunk Justice-No, for getting
caught. Hundreds of people get drunk every
day and / don't fine EN- q cent Only tine
those who get caught
MAKING 4 sA-LAM
leave the door ajar, please, said the
merchant. courteou-lv. And the visitor
from Arkansas. as he went ont. fetched II 20
with both hands, yanking or the knob,
Swinging both hinges. and leaving jar that
ratified every window in the building. And
if voul believe it, the merchant got mad.
You don't know how 20 please some men, be-
cause they never know what they want them
selves
THE PARLoR FLOOR IS MORE "swET.L.n
"There', plenty Of room az the top il
there. my boy, oh, no that's only some
more OF the wise man encouraging nonsense.
There's less room at the top than anywhere
else in the whole pyramid. Unless society is
built upside down, there is the most room az
the bottom. There's only room for One at
the top. Look at our own country: j0.NN,-
900 Of people at the bottom and middle, and
only one president al the top. That's the way
the world over: millions OF subjects and only
one king II you want lots Of room and
plenty Of company, You stay a. the bottom
with the rest Of Ms. Mighty lonely and mar
row at the apex.
"OUT OF THE CRADLE ENDLEssLY ROCKING.
Heavens last best gift to man was woman,
and mans best gift 10 woman was the rock
ing chair II is her comfort of comforts 10
is a rest for the weary woman. she rocks her
troubles away as the swinging bow casts of
the dust. it is a solace IN hours Of sorrow ;
even a creaking rocker that driveth men mad
as with the ceaseless words Of a contentious
woman, speak comfortably 20 herr her air
castles. bulded in he restless rocker, must
lean like multiplied towers OF Pisa, the
rocker fills up all social gaps; if there Is no
one with whom she may talk, She rocks if
| she hasn't laxative company she rocks and
talks. She rocks and sews; she rocks and
knits. she rocks and sketches She rocks
and does things that man can only accom-
/ plish under conditions Of motiOnless, death
| like stiffness. she rocks and threads needle
as calmly as though the age Of miracles had
not passed. q woman photographer would sit
in rocker with a camera in her lap and
placidly photograph group Of rocking wO-
men in rockers of various gaits The rocker
is to her a nervine, narcotic, a stimulant
1t is 10 her all that cigar * 20 man, and
a woman with a cigar and a man In a rock
ing chair seem equally misflted The rocker
is a certain means of grace; be she mad as
hornet" five minutes OF vigorous rocking
tranquilizes her periurbed spirit, and by the
time she has rocked herself ont OF breath the
/ gentle, forgiving cadence of the swaying
chair tells you that sunhghted calm has dis
possessed the storm, and peace reigns in her
loving breast Like the cradle OF the miner,
il gently rocks away the gross and earthly,
and leaves a residuum of fine gold only She
rocks all along the way OF her pilgrimage,
up the hill OF Difficulty past the chained
lions down into the Valley Of Humiliation,
across the narrow land OF Ease through the
troubles on every side through the ilghtings
without and the fears within, past all dan
gers. doubts aud cares clear up 20 the borders
OF Beulah land she rocks. rocks, rocks. One
| Of the first Christmas presents you buy Tor
| your little girl is rocking chair, and the
last time her grandchildren see her sitting
up. the dear. loving, tod blessed grandma is
softly swaving i'm a high backed rocker,
dreaming again OF the Years when her day
dream, were woven IN that little rocker now
the property Of the newest granddaughter
In all those years Your boy has changed hi.
TOYS and comforts and Longing chairs with
every changing style, but your little girl
has never been long ont of rocking
! chair. 4 home without a rocker would be-
like farm without an orchard. u would
: still be a farm, but its crown jewel would b,
missing Only a woman could have written
Rock Me 10 Sleep. Mother away with tho
man pretender who dare claim il, in the very
face OF unanswerable internal evidence, and
she didn't mean cradle rock oh, no, she
wanted 10 be rocked asleep in rocking chair
II she saws she means cradle. then do
fully believe her 10 be man.
As Tor man, he is not a natural rocker II,
may acquire the habit. as a trotting h0rs,
may be taught 10 pace, but the arm chair
is sacred 10 grandpa Man is lounger, d
foot rest zoe, with his chair A steamer
chair now !, about his size. The prize com
bination for him is an easy arm chair and d
mantelpieCe Give me where 10 hang my
feet 90 sas, proud man, land care not wher,
you put the rest OF my body" Half con
WINGED that he was made little lower thar
the angels he has been trying ever since &
get his feet back 10 Edenic attitudes, and 81
he sails through life on the small Of his back
with his feet lowering above him like guard
ian angels Rather palpabe, feshy angel
they are, too but nevertheless he likes {,