Connecticut western news., 1887-03-09
BILL ME ON BOILS.
A Humorist Who Was Af1ict- ed With Jobs Comforters.
Seven Bothersoms Little Blossoms on the
 Back of His Nook.

am having highly humorous ex- perience with boils, says Bill Nye in an ASheville, N. C., letter to the Chicago News. To others this announcement will come with no element of sadness, perhaps, but to me it brings thrill of the keenest and most poignant anguish. A man might go all over whole country and not find anything more poignant than these boils seem to me.
 There are seven of these little blos- soms and they hang in ripe cluster on the back of my neck, about two inches below what the phrenologists call love of home.
 had never brought out boil until last week, though have led a very check cred life, but on Thursday morning awoke to tiud myself the parent of seven cunning little rcd-headed boils about the size of pumpkin seed.
 They are small, but oh how restless they are, and how they struggle with each other for supremacy.
 People here say these boils are a result of the climate. The air here is especially calculated to bring out any thing in the line of latent humor. A man who had been running a humorous weekly paper in the far west came here and in two weeks he broke out so that his friends had to do him up in poul tice seven feet long.
 I am not doing much for these boi!s, because l want to teach them to be self reliant and depend upon themselves, One of them was a puny little thing at first, and felt sorry for it when my friends told me about it. I cannot see these boiis, of course, as they are not in the direct line of vision, being on the back of my neck. So get friend one can trust-and let him coms and tell me how they are dolng from time to time.
 This little boil at first did not bid fair to hold out more than day or two, but yesterday 1t began to throw aside its lethargy and to realize that life is real. It is fully abreast of the others now and has large and very active crater to it.
 For three days put various things on these boils; among others soap, sugar, the white of an egg, ground haxseed, bread and milk, bread and molasses, etc., etc. There were other things rec commended, but as the bois were all in a cluster l had to try one thing at time. With seven bois we'll distributed might have triel several remedies at once, but did the best could. In three days have rendered SIS worth of groceries entirely useless to the con- sunier.
 One great difficulty has been the un- satisfactory results of my efforts to get 1 any sleep. Before l was overtakcn by the pol!-evil used to rest on the back l of my head and neck at night a good deal, but after a few experiments with my head pillowed on these seven little hot-headcd boils I found that it made my head too high.
 Boils visit the rich and poor alike, the humble and exalted. They are not a mark of greatness, for boils frequently come to the obscure and the unknown. They do not >ome with the seeking and they are not to be obtained by study or effort. Boils fall to the lot of many whose lives would otherwise be void of incident. To such they arc indeed a great benisop. or my be used as such. How many people do we know who have naught c.se to show us in the way ot progress, but kind Providence has be slowed boil upon them now and then, which they can exhibit as an evidence that they are not remaining absolutely stagnanti
 The felon also is queer article, ths usefulness of which has not been thoroughly made clear to my mind. There are nirety-eight diff things that are good for fclon, each of which will make it ache frst-rate, and that seems to be the principal objection botl with felons and bois. Some cut the finger open in treating felon and scrap the bone with corncob or a wood rasp. About the only way to cure a felon is te seriously injure the finger and then cur, the injure.