Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-19
ENTIRE.

Farmers wife-"I must go home, have a
great deal to do; we are going to kill an OK
to- day." Frau professor-''Wnat you kill
an entire OK at onee!"-Fliegende Blatter.
Fireman ION the ladder)-"Hurry uo,
there isn't moment to spare!"
She-'Oh, dear! Must go out this wayl
Do tell me, please, if my hat is on straight" "
Life.
A witty lawyer said to friend: ''Did you
hear that - "a lawyer whose ways had
been devious) had turned States evidence?"
Chow is that?" said the other. ''He has
been converted and joined the church,
Boston Herald.
Village goss1p--"Bige Perkins wife got it
from Manthy Tomkins that yeou he'd ter
leave Germany for sellin' cat fer rabbit" !"
Pellsticker (contemptuously)-'' -''Rats!" VIII
darned sight wuss. It'd Bits.
'Here's hair on your shoulder" said his
wife, with an ominous calmness.
''Oh-er-yes; I've been playing with the
poodle
"John, don't be silly Flossy is not a
brunette poodle. ."-Washingto Critic.
Time, 3 a. MFRS. Jollyboy-F'Whe on
earth have you beens" Mr.. ii cannot
tell a lie. I've been at M ofish" Mrs.
J.-sEThat's where we differ. 1 can tell
lie-when hear one" (Cruel silence, in
which something is heard to drop. )-Ex-
change.
When a friend endeavors to entertain you
by rel ting moth-eaten old story, don't sit
down on him by shouting ''chestnuts!" Sim
ply say ''cburch bell" and if he isn't hope
less imbecile he will understand you to mean
that it's been tolled before. e.-Berkshire
Courier.
Evidence of deep love-Augustus-''An
what did she say when she got my note ask
ing to be released from the engagements"
Lawyer-''She said she'd be compelled to
bring suit against you for breach of prom
ise." Augustus-"How that girl does love
me."-Tid Bits.
There is very little serf bathing in Russia.
New Orleans Pieayune.
Jealous Mrs. Ipstein-"Aha, Elias, you vos
peen firdin'! How dis long hair gom your
goatsleef on, eha' Conciliatory Mr.. Ipstein
-''S a-h, Raychel solt Won ecgscelsior
maddress for hair to-day. Dot vos der sell
ing SAMPLE. Puck,
"When do you think the moon is at it's
loveliest, George, deara" she asked.
George, dear, stole his arm and cautious
glance around the immediate vicinity, and
whispered:
'When it is behind cloud, love-" and
they were as happy as if they had each taken
hypodermic injection of morphine.-New
York Sun.
$50 you think there is no danger about
my gong 10 the oao place! Not OIL OF
it. You'll go to heaven fast enough"
"Well, it would be more satisfactory if one
knew you had good grounds for your asser-
tion'' ''Oh, I have. You're sure to go to
heaven. You must, in obedience to the law
of nature" "What law do you refer to?"
''The law of gravitation. The lightest weight
always goes to the top"
1t was much chaffed about in England that
on Oscar Wilde's lecturing tour in America
he introduced great many clever things
which had really been originally aaid by
Whistler, Dante Rossetti, Goodwin and 9TH
ers of the aesthetic circle in London. After
his return he was at dinner with the
terie and many bright things were said.
After one brilliant remark by Whistler,
which was very successful, Oscar looked up
and said, 'FWhistler, how 1 wish 1 had said
that" ''Never mind, Oscar" said Whistler
quietly, "you will. l."-San Francisco Chroni-