davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

SIMON CAMERON, who, IN the
ninetietb year of his age, has gone
to Europe, says that be does not
make the trip on account Of his
health but for amusement and in
struction.
THERE has just been issued by
the secretary of the state 5000 copies
in a vest pocket pamphlet form, the
game and Gsh laws of the state.
They are for the use of the game
wardens and their deputies.
Sr JoHs gets $50 day and ex
penses for running Prohibition jubi-
lees. Mr.. St. John will not need to
join the Anti-poverty Society so
long as the jubilee busineSe con
tinuss good.
HONEST municipal government can
not exist without the honest pay
meut of taxes. If property-owners
defraud the city by evading lawful
taxes they can not complain if
boodlers defraud the city by steal.
ing its cash.
No president was ever assaiIed
with such brutality and scurrIllty
of abuse AZ Abraham Lincoln. Yet
il appears that Mr. Lincoln never
felt called upon to make speech on
the dignity Of bis Office, or complain
ing Of the ghouish gee of his as
sailants.
BAcKEp by France and Russia
the Sultan of Turkey persists in his
refusal to sign the new treaty with
England for the future government
Of Egypt, in It's present form, This
is snub TO the British lion, and it
remains to be seen what he will do
aoou' '''
TINS country is growing, For
the year ending June 30, 1856, the
exports Of breadstuffs amounted To
1928, 100000 in value. For the
year ending June 80, 1887, the
amount was $l62, 100000. Such
facts as these tend to make the
public satisfied with She tariff as it
is.
1,........ .3.,L,. chat ,ho sohooI
teacher. are making things hun let
him look at New York. Twenty
Eve years ago the State had less
than twenty colleges, all told, with
about 1000 students Now there
are over forty colleges. with more
than / 600 students. And SO it is
everywhere; all through Republican
ism.
r......:.'-~r 49,, ma o.;..
.. y r NV. ~
Tucker law is pressing them heav.
ily. Ina the first election for school
officers under the new law the Gen.
tiles carried five of the twentv-one
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

In the early days oflawin Minne,oa
a Judge who was noted for his exec,
liant Judgment both at law and poar,
during the noon inteimission of ad8g,
session became deeply engaged ir q
little game of draw. A biz Jackpot
lay in the center of the table justo,tds
moment for opening court arrived
The Judge looked at his hand he bad
three Jacks. When it came his turn be
said, Il open it, but had hardly g
the words out of his mouth when ths
bailiif came in out of breath and wills
pered hurriedly that he was waited for
to open court. "Go back and 90.
nounce,' said the Judge that ths
court has just opened a Jackpot and
that the other court is adjourned io'
fifteen minutes"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

Tu1s country is growing. For
the year ending June 30, 1856, the
exports Of breadsmfTs amounted to
$123,200,0oO in value. For the
year ending June 80, 1887 the
amount was l62,5O0,0o0. Such
facts as these tend to make the
public satisfied with the tariff as it
ia
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

HONEST municipal government can
not exist without the honest pay
meut of taxes. If property-owners
defraud the city by evading lawful
taxes they can not complain if
boodlers defraud the city by steal.
inc It's cash.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

ANOTHER Republican comes in
for approving words from Mug
wump paper. The Boston Herald
says of Gen. Logan: ellis hands
were clean, but empty. The APP
praisal of his property only amounts
to 5000, and the most valuable
items are the royalties on his two
books. This is a pleasant contrast
from the example of men who use
public station for private gain" A
Republican is mentioned with APP
proval by a Mugwump journal only
after he is dead.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

No president was ever assaIled
with such brutality and scurrlllty
of abuse as Abraham Lincoln. Yet
it appears that Mr. Lincoln never
felt called upon to make a speech on
the dignity Of bis Office, or complain
Ing Of the gboulish glee of his as
sailants.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

Hil,oaukee Sentinel: Mr. Cleve-
land had lots of fun in writing his
sarcastic messages in voting private
pension bills. lie was so fanny
over some Of the claims of old
soldiers and widows that one Demo
cratic paper declared it would en-
gage him to run funny column
after his retirement from office But
just now it must occur to M. Cleve-
land that little official dignity, a
little higher respect for his office,
would have been worth something
to him-now that he finds other
persons also, fail to show respect for
his office.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

BAcKEp by France and Russia
the Sultan Of Turkey persists in his
refusal to sign the new treaty with
England for the future government
Of Egypt, in its present form. This
is II snub to the British lion, and it
remains to be seen what he will do
about il.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

Gen. Bragg was once arguing 2 gay
before the Wisconsin Supreme Coal.
and was endeayoring tomake etI.t.5s
point in the ease, when the OA.'
Justice testify interrupted him hl ~
mrs 1T is useless to discus, thAI ~
that point this cour, has made up "
mind
90, youreaSSure me. | did NOT N'''
it had any. was the answer.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

THE Pennsylvania State Liquor
League, referring to the enforce
ment of the new high license and
temperance laws in that state, de-
cIares in its resolutions that "the
sacred precincts Of home are inyad-
ed and the dispensation of the rites
of hospitality upon the Sabbath day
is made a crime" If the people by
the enforcement of the law can
screen the home from even a part
Of the horrors that flow directly
from intemperance, they eau easily
dispense win all the "hospitality'
that whisky brings for one day in
the week.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

When John Randolph was Attornev.
General and in the hight Of his fame
he was on one of his trips to Washing.
ton waiting impatiently Tor the pu5a
conveyance, pacing neryously up and
down, when he became furioush 40.
noyed by the shrill whistling of a man
in charge of the station Randolph
walked directly in frontofhim and sla
in his severest manner, stop ta.
whistling, sir."
Why
Because / command it,
And who are you, pray?'
I'm John Randolph Of Roanoke
sir"
"Well, who the devil is John Ran.
dolph Of Roanoke, STRIP wa, the
question that stunned the lawyer com.
plotely.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

The Government Of Germany has
issued an edict against the use Of
the French language in judicial
proceedings and documents after
the close Of the present year. We
wish somebody having the power to
enforce it would now issue an edict
prohibiting the use of French words
and phrases in English books, maya
zines and newspapers. A writer Of
English who can't express himself
without dragging in French and
Latin words and quotations ought
to have lived and written several
centuries ago; he is out Of place in
the nineteenth century.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

A Fond du Lac lawyer once set out93
argue a case before Judge Mclean aa'
was trying very hard to force conye'
ton ON d certain point, when the JUG,
interrupted him impatiently with y
have already made up my mindon iaa.
point, and there's no use Of your W2st
Ing time any longer. If you don IKE
my decision YOU can take the case .
the court of errors.
Yes, said the attorney "oa'
there's where | have it now.
Said sharp attorney to rambling
witness: Now, You must give eNp '.-''
and exact answers. You said You drove
a milk wagon, did you not?'
mo, sir, ! didu't?'
Don't you drive a milk wagon
NO, sir.
"Ahal What do YOU do sir?
81 drive a boss, sir.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

Do DodgsvIIle. W. Inne m.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

with the power OF justice. BON.
ing to the rule of law and eon i a,eo's
of which being the king as ~ ID
We're after settled in several eo,.e s'eis,
the light being first made bv C1IN
after settled in the great bodies Es
sun and moon" VI ls;I
After questioning the accur
Hobart's constitutional lav. 81
celestial and terrestrial Ju6ga bea
says; A!A|
Taking the sun andmoon AGO.
to the common aeceptation and f} S' 3
ing Hobart's metaphor, tn C '9,, ?.
Judge might be likened To tba el''i
his court, in this cause, and N, "g 4
(the lawyer who tried the cas,5 'ss
moon, after the fashion of a ir. 4
depute in Scots law, shining NH ,'.'. q
egated jurisdiction. But the eo ~ W
ton mars the comparison. For ~ y.
astronomical constitution fbs V
appears to take power to delo.
his functions of lighting the ,r7 ~
while the State Constitution tolos.
no such delegation and appoint, . ' s
only, without any moon, as hm;,..l
of the Circuit Court, whose .ulaJ.i
light Of Jurisprudence must NJ ~. -'
shine, not moonshine."
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-07-21

1t is not very often that LAWYER o..
a chance to express his opinion e
Judge, but a young Western atto~.'
came pretty near it when on NM,
fined so for contempt OF court he NH
The fine is too small; make f. '
million"
A somewhat similar story is told i,
Tom Corwin, who, being somarbs,
disguised with certain judges r8lis.
in case on trial, asked to be- dp.i
for contempt of court. "You b-r.
expressed no contempt of conn
sir, said the Judge. But have N,
most Internal contempt for it, replied
Corwin.
This was nearly equaled by anothsf
barrister, who, also being fined tm
contempt, declared he had eXpressedp,
contempt, bat on the contrary had
carefully concealed his feelings.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10

for the CouRIER by G. A. Snow & Co.
patent lawyers, opposite United
States patent Office. Washington, D.
@.
S. S. Brooks, Windsor--corn plan.
ter.
E. C. Condlt, Kansas City-fur-
mace Inning, and dry closet.
G. T. FaIlls. st. Joseph-elevator
gate.
IT. Gray, North Springfield
preserving eggs.
j. H. Harris, and w, Pool, Pitts
ville-iump gate.
w. D. Hous, Kansas City-tele-
phone.
o. w. Jones, New Camhria-de-
vice for preserving eggs.
N. B. Perkins, North Springfield
hydrant.
F. H. Smith, Kansas city-tube
well.
C. Seller, Springfeld-combined
return ball and cap snapper.
w. S. Rowe, st. Louis-feed
water heater.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
NUMBER 2.

She wore other clothes, but that
did not incense me so much as this
hat, which I had to examine critically
all the evening.
She moved her head also and kept
time to the music, and breathed hard
in places and shuddered once or
twice. She also spoke to the mIsera-
bic man who brought her. Her
voice was o rich barytone. with a
low xylophone action, and she
hreathed like the passionate exhaust
of an overworked freight engine.
When she spoke to her escort notic-
ed that he shortened up about four
inches and seemed to wish be had
never enterd society.
The other three women had broad
hats with domes TO them, and the one
who sat on my right also sat on her.
foot. This gave her line opportlf-
nifty to look out through the skylight
of the opera house now and then.
The next one to her wore a deceased
Plymouth Rock rooster in her hat.
The fourth one sat in front of an
oldish gentleman who went out be-
tween the acts and came IN with .
picked olive in his mouth each time.
He could not see anything on the
stage, but he crawled up under the
brim of this woman's hat. with his
nose in the meshes of her hair, and
his hot, local option breath IN her
neck, patiently trying to see whether
the slender legs in long black hoes
belonged to Mr.. Booth, ApoIlinarus
or the ballet.
If you will continue IN your excel
lent paper to sit down on the tall
hats, 1 Will get you quite number
of subscribers here.
BILL NYE.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
PA YING FOR MONEY and
ETTyVG pHE4 TED.


The love of money IS said TO be
the root of all evil. So great is that
love in a majority of cases thatsal-
most any price is paid for it. We
propose briefly to discuss the matter
and show that money, like other
things, is often bought too dearly.
When man in pursuit of wealth
sacrifices moral principle in order to
insure success, he gets cheated.
When he pursues business,
however remunerative, which he
knows Is undermining his health,
he gets cheated.
When he habitually deyotes so
many hours to labor that he has no
time to give his family and friends,
to reading, mental and moral culture,
he gets cheated.
When be makes money by rum
selling, or any other traffic which
works mischief in the community, he
gets cheated.
When he ignores all outside mat
ters,'' and is determined to make
m oney anyhow, leaving religion,
politics, friends, benevolent objects.
and Everybody to take care of
thems elves,'' he gets cheated.
When he finds making money IN
his fashion excludes him FROM the
ociety of all truly good men, he
gets cheated.
When he is determined, in old
age, to give himself no rest or re-
taxation, but work on, grasping for
more, more, more, he gets cheated.
When he has money enough to
satisfy any reasonable being, and
should haul In sail and devote some
of the best time and energies to
doing good-but won't do 1t and
works on-he gets cheated.
When he finds hard earned wealth
is injuring both himself and family,
that his children are growing up in
ignorance and idleDess ana they are
all .sgood for nothing to the world,
1t Is evident, that he has been cheat
ed.
When his devotion to money maxi
ing costs him restless nights, i'll
health, loss of appetite, bad temper,
envy and jealousy, the growth of
pride, ldolatry of gold, stingF or
sour disposition, and the hatred or
indifference of good society, all We
have to say is, even il he has gained
the whole world, he has got abom-
inably cheated.
Don't, therefore, pay too much
for money. It will not furnish you
ali you desire. 1t will not insure
your good health. 1t will not enrich
your mind. It will not enrich your
heart 1t will not deliver you from
danger. 1t will not follow you be-
yond the grave. It will not save
your soul. Don't, therefore, we
pray you in getting gold sacrifice
your good name, the best interests
of your family, or your soul forn
you do, you are chevted for time and
cheated for eternity. Don't get
cheated. .-Business World.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
NOTICE.

Ny wife, Mary D. Smith, having leff my
bed and board without provocation.
this is 10 wa=n the public from trusting her
on ulY account, as 1 will not be RESPONSE
bic for Any debts or obligations contracted
by her.
WILLIAM II. SMITH,
Muscle Fork, Charlton County, Missouri,
Februaty IA, 1887.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
WIRE and FENCING

Beware of old style baggy netting. MY
patent INFLEXfBLE netting, with par
Shipped ready made, in rolls; or license,
model, wire and tools for home made net
ting or picket fence. furnished. Before
buying smooth or barbed wire, iron posts.
gates, farm, city or graveyard fences, write
for my prices and free catalogue. Send
stamp for private agency terms. a. g..
HUBERT, 904 Olive St., St. Louis, Mo.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
BIG rs.

The late William Shakespeare once
wrote in an autograph album these
words:
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10
Rnoklen,s Arnioa Salva.

The best Salve in the world for
Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt
Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chap
ped Hands. Chiblains, Corns, and all
Skin Eruptions. and positively cures
Piles, or no pay required. 1t is
guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton, or money refunded. Price %
cents per box. For sale by w. c..
Castor & Co. Is
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10

An expert on the witness stand in
New York the other day, said the
human body was full Of cells. It
would be more interesting if some
New York witness would arise and
tell US the cells in that city we're full
of human bodies. We should think
justice had better. chance there.
Trade Gazette.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10

Men, such as United States Sena-
tor Voorhees,, Of Indiana, are loud IN
their praise of St Jacobs Oil as an
instantaneous cure for rheumatism,
neuralgia, sciatica and .other bodily
pains.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1887-03-10

To citizens of Missouri during the
past week, and reported expressly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06
A.so.ishlng success.


Il Ia the duty of every person who has
used Boschees German Sp1p to let its
wonderful qualities be known to their
friends in curing Consumption, severe
Coughs, Group, Asthma, Pneumonia,
aud 10 fact all throat and lung diseases.
No person can use 1t without immediate
relief. Three doses will relieve any
case, aud we consider 1t the duty Of all
Druggists to recommend 1t 10 the poor,
dying consumptive. at least to try one
bottle. as 80 900 dozen bottles were sold
last year, and no one case where II failed
was reported. Such medicine Ms the
0eyman Syrup cannot be too widely
known. Ask your druggist about 1t.
Sample bottles 20 try, sold at 10 cents.
Regular sixe. Is cents. Snld by all
DruGKIsfa and Dealers, In the United
STATES and cs9a<Ia.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

The seven-year-old son of Boston
newspaper man has heard too much
profanity somewhere, not from his
father as the latter claims, but at all
events he has heard 1t and shows alarm
Ing facility In reproducing it. The other
day his father reprovec him for breach
Of this kind that had come to the parent
al ears. "Who told your" demanded
the hopeful. "Well, little bird told
me-" The boy stood and looked out of
the window scowling at some sparrows
who were scolding and chattering. al
KNOW Game as an inspiration, lit was
one OF those Id sparrow.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

A young man evidently from Will
loughby Pastures was strolling along
fremont row, Boston, the other day
about the time for the daily prayer meet
ing in the rooms of the Young Mems
Christian Association, and a member of
the Association stood without the door
inviting passers by TO 60 in and wor-
ship. As the young man sauntered by
the Y. NJ. c. A. man tapped him upon
the shoulder and said: sStep right up
stairs, my friend, you win 1nd cordiai
welcome" mo, you don't, yer can't
play any of yer confidence games on
me. I've hearn tell too much about you
fellars to be caught before bein' in the
city two h .urs."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

Angry stranger TO assistant editor)--
Is the man who Is responsible for This
article In?
Assistant editor-No. sir.
Angry Stranger-Where does he sit !?
Assistant Editor-The corner desk sir,
the one that has the 44.calibre revolver
for a paper weight. viii you leave your
card, sirs
= Angry Stranger tmildly)-N.no.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

A new baby bad arrived at little John
ny's residence, aud the youngest was
admitted TO take bis frst look at the
little stranger. He surveyed 1t calmly
for moment, and then looking up ex-
claimed enthusiastically: "His face is
just the color of uncle Georges. Gosh,
but he must be hard drinker."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06
WHKTlI[S TIE nkTION7
The average Length Of Life Dc.
creasing Not Fcstilence-
Not Famine-All our
own Fault.

creaSlng fcsttiehco-
Not Fanine-All our
own Fault.
MODERN COOKING AND Mop.
ERIN LivINa have brought it
on. 1t comes upon us una
wares. The patients have
pains about the chest and sides,
and sometimes in the back.
They feel dali and sleepy; the
mouth has bad taste, especi-
ally in IL morning. A sort
of sticky 'ae eo.''ects about
the teeth. :. 'als tie is poor.
There is !, F'e..':;; q a heavy
load OH nc ,;om:c,.: so:aetimes
a faint, a,leone .selsSation at
the pit Of the stoln@:.l which
food does not satisfy. The
eyes are sn,ken, the hands
and feet become co.,l and feel
clammy. After a while q
cough sets in, at first dry, but
after few months it is at
tended with !. grec!aish colored
expecto,ation. The patient
feels tired al the while, and
sleep does rot s. ynl to afford
any rest. A"cr a 'l,ne he be-
comes nerrc"S, irritable and
gloomy, ami n:.s evil forebod-
ings. There is II g.ddiness, a
sort of wl'rling sensation in
the head when rising up sud-
denly. The bowels become
costive; the skin is dry and
hot at times: the blood becomes
thick and staenait: the whites
of the eyes 'nconc tinged with
yellow; the kidney sccretlons
becomes scanty and high col
ored, deroSiting a sediment
after standing. There is fire.
quently a sp.tting up of the
food, sometimes with a sour
taste and sometimes with a
sweetish taste; this is fire.
quently attcn''crl with palpi-
tation OF tie heart and Asth-
matte symptoms; the vision be-
comes impaired, with spots be-
fore the eve; there is feel
ing of great pro>tlation and
weakness. Al % these symp-
toms are in turn present. 1t
is thought lhat nearly one-half
of our population has this dis
ease in some OF its varied forms.
Shaker Extract of Roots (Sei.
gels Syrup char les the fer
ments oil i.c l?:SrS: ,e organs so
asto convert the fool we eat into
a form that will s.ve nourish-
ment to the feeble body, and
good health is the consequence.
The effect of this remedy is
simply marvellous. Millions
upon millions of bottles have
been sold in this country, and
the testimonials in favor of its
curative powers are over
whelming. Hundreds of So
called diseases under various
names are the result of indi-
gestion, and when this one
trouble is removed the other
diseases vanish, for they are
but symptoms of the real
malady.
Testimonials from thousands
of people speaking highly of
its curative properties prove
this beyond a doubt. Sold by
druggists.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06
January II, 1887.

January IL, 1887.
Mr.. TowNER SCHLEY-Dedr Sir: |
used several sacks of your Fertilizer,
manufactured by the Chesapeake Gu
ano Company of Baltimore, on my corn
last spring, and found that it not only
made better yield, but matured better.
During the drought il did not fire at all,
but grew vigorously all the time. can
cheerfully recommend it TO my neigh
bors.
Respectfully &C.,
JOHN j. BYERS.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

Tourist Ito Highland sentry on cold
frosty morning)-Sentry, are you cold
with the kiltp
Sentry-No, hut Pm near kilt WI the
cauld.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06

A naturalist recommends eating raw
onions for insomnia. The theory prob
sbly Is Thar you will go TO sleep to avoid
smelling your breath.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. w. ~

December IA, 1886.
Mr.. TowYER ScHLEY-Dear Sir: /
have been using your Fertilizer for some
years upon my corn aufi shall continue
to do so as loaga as | have as COOL results
as in the past. During the drought of
last summer found that my corn did
not fire, but grew vigorously all The
time, and my Weld was fine one. Re
ally / believe that Fertilizer on corn il
as essential If not more so than wheat.
Yours &C.,
WIN. A. MORGAN.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-06
SNYDER's MILLS, w. Va,

SNYDER's MILLS, w. Va,
January 20, 1887.
Mr.. TowNER SCHLEY-Dear Sir:
have been using your Fertilizer for some
years and stall continue to do so as long
as ! have as good results. / believe it
to be the best preparation made for
spring crops.
Respectfully, &c.
ELISHA S. SNYDER.