Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-06
TWINKS.
What next.

The way Of the transgressor may be hard,
but it is easy enough to get nto.7JO"r""'
Of Education.
When a man is Up 2 stump he feels BAD.
When n squirrel is up a stump he feels all
right.-DstrOi Free Press.
Il isn't the attainment that always meas
mrs character. Sometimes it is the Strug-
Ole for attainment. philadelphia CAL.
The woman who can control her "
tongue is greater than he who ruleth u city,
She is also scarcer. -SOmerriHe Journal.
First tramp-The melancholy days have
come. Second tramp-The saddest OF the
wear. "'Yes, everybody has wood to saw.
Omaha World.
New York has q school where cooking Is
taught, bat the art + cooking is not half
50 rare in New York ~ the art OF digestion.
-HaeoR Telegraph
The red flag species of Socialists don't
want the earth. They only want the land
and the lager. The rest of the folks can
have the water.-0H city Blizzard.
Connecticut people are famous for max
ING a stir ia the world, and the Land OF
Steady Habits is not to lose its reputation
Immediately at any rate, for one Of us
residents has just invented u new kind OF
bustls. Boston Budget.
Kate-Shall we 90 by elevated or Broad
way car? Agnes always 90 Ivy Broad
way chr. Kate-But, dear, it is much
slower. Agnes-Yes, | know that; but,
YOU see, | am q brunette, and the dark
orange car sets me of best.-Puck.
Philadelphia Sunday School Teacher
Now, children, l am going 10 tell you
abont the prophet Daniel who, though
cast into a den Of lions-
New Scholar fresh from New York.
Have you only just go onto that?-Td
Bits.
The man who can hang pictures under
his wiEe's supervision for an hour and
keep his temper does not want 10 be an
angel. He is one already, although he
NAV not have a pair of large, Tapping
white wings behind his shoulder blades.
-SOmerriHC Journal.
Take a cigar with me, boys?" "Are they
on a boy or q grip" Neither" whats
happened them" 'Oh, l spent an evening
at Simpsons, where they have both q boy
and a girl, and Pm setting 'em up because
l have neither. "-NebrdSka State Journal.
When a young man is making love to a
girl he is apt to tell her that ne wishes bel
silverY accents might ring in bis ear for
ever, but nine times out of ten he would
as soon hear a perpetual steam whistle ten
or fifteen years after the minister gets his
fee.-SOmerriHe Journal.
The elder Dumas was asked to give
something toward the funeral expenses OF
a bailiff who had died in gOverty. How
much do you WANT" he asked. Twenty
francs" WHAT Only twenty francs to
bury a bailif? There, there, take forty
and bury two" Macon Telegraph.
Mr.. B~umbus-I saw you taking Il horse
back ride this morning. Your =" horse?
Nc. Mumphus-No; only a livery hack.
HE looked like q very tine charger"
80 | thought until l paid the bill.
Then the owner of the stable cast him all
in the shade. -HNrpcr'S BdzW.
al see by the papers," said the blind
man ut the street corner, that a cold
wave is coming
ID We H-dIO, i6Spohueu tu0 wa
and dumb man us he hastily readiusted
his painted tin sign and assumed an X
preston of intense gloom, while despair
ing strains from the blind mans cOnsump
tive organ again Smoyc the air. -Chicogc
Tribune.
80, I'm almost tired to DEATH Why
where have YOU heen?" Been into Lutte,
strings trying to match my black silk.
They've got the sauciest girls there | ever
saw" Il know it" THE girl that
waited upon me almost set me wild. She
was polite enough, Lord knows, and so pa,
tient, you know. But she couldn't fool
me. / know well enough she was mad
enough inside, the deceitful creature!
wonder why LuteString has such people il
his store. '-B0StoH Transcript.