Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1887-05-28

/ nUAVWD
THREE things to wish for: health, 4
cheerful spirit friends.
DID Solomon have John L. IN mind
when he said Ego to the ant, thou slug
hard?"
SIZE amt everything. Awatch tick
ing can be heard further than bed
| ticking.
TIE youthful and inexperienced mar
ried man may not know it, but it is a
fact all the same: Corsets cannot be
| purchased at the lace-goods counter.
To THE housewife-Don't imagine the
pillow displayed at the warerooms of .
furniture dealer to be filled with live
geese feathers just because they are
marked down.
DUDE (meeting his tailor where he
couldn't escape him. Jones, old
boy, how dy do? Beastly weather this.
It's SO unsettled, don't you know
Tailor Ugh yes just like my BILL
flashing ON Critic.
An advertisement in French news
paper: II ritz z, an experienced
accountant, desires place as cashier.
In the interest of the security of pat
rons he would state that he is afflicted
with two wooden legs.-French Fun.
A LYNN clergyman relates that on
one occasion, after marrying Q couple,
an envelope was handed to him, which
he supposed, of course, contained the
marriage fee. On opening it, he found
slip of paper. on which was written.
we desire your prayers.
AN ambitious young painter has gone
to Washington to ask permission to
paint the House of Representatives for
his great historical picture. Well, we
see no objection to his painting the
honorable House. It has been white
washed several times, but the operation
has to be repeated too frequently
EaI,'di tie.
"a SENSIBLE" woman, as DR.. Aber-
nethy would have called her, was dis
covered by a shy man, who made her
rather original proposal. He bought
wedding ring, and sent it to the lady,
inclosing sheet of note-paper with the
brief question. "Does it fit?" By re-
turn of post he received the answer:
beautifully"
@IN what country were you born?"
asked the election officer. I'm none,
sor," replied the citizen. What?
Answer me plainly. What is your nat
i've land?" II have none, sor. I was
born at sea-" @Then, replied the off,
Ger, @you have Vaterland, although
you talk like an Irishman. You vote
in the hayward. "-Balrdette.
The following advertisement recently
appeared-"A father wants to find q
school for his son where q manly and
useful education will be given him, and
where the teachers do not fill the heads
of their pupils with humbug stories
about nations that died and were buried
thousands of centuries ago, not q citi-
zen of which could either command
steamboat or manage railway station. "
FIRST gentleman, entering apartment
of second gentleman-About year ago
you challenged me to fight duell
Second gentleman (sternly)-I did, sir.
First G.-And I told you that I had
just been married, and did not wish
to risk my life at such hazard. Second
G. (haughtily)-I remember, sir. First
G. (bitterly)-Well, my feelings have
undergone a change; any time you
want to fight let me know. Bon jour.
French Fun.
MIsTAKINa the door young MI.
Cipher walked into the dentists Office
instead of the doctors. Doctor" he
groaned, "Tm in bad shape. My head
aches all the time and can't do any.
thing with it." "Yes, yes" said Dr.
Toothaker, cheerfully. II see; big
cavity in it; must be hollow; you'll
need to have it filed" And seeing his
mistake young Mr.. Cipher apologized
and went out and told it all around as
. capital good joke on the Dentist
BaIrdette.
IT is, perhaps, hardly the province of
this paper to criticise nature, but then
it does seem rs if it would have been q
great stroke if man had been created
with arms that would slide out about |
forty feet like q spy-glass, 30 that he
could reach and lock the front door
and wind the clock and set back tho |
rocking chair and close the shutters |
after he goes to bed. Yes, and put out |
the cat and scatter some poison for his |
neighbor's dog and bring in the baby
carriage. Dakota Bell
The Beauty Of . Blssh