Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1887-02-07
LEGISLATIVE HUMOR
HOW THE NERRY-NINDED S0lONS KILL
TINE.
tP. 0. P" Perusing Thai Wildly Exciting Periodical,
the Journal, with Absorbing Inter
est-His Remarks.
CHARLESTON, February 5, 1887.

Glanced over the House of Delegates n
noted the air of solemn craftsmanship
which rests upon the members, would
hardly think that a teaspoonful OF fun
could be found in the whole assembly.
But strange as it may seem, this is true.
There are members in that body who not
only can enjoy a joke, but are capable oil
making them up out of their own heads;
and Jokes that a man can laugh at without
wanting to kick himself afterwards, too.
The most legislative men in the House
men who can knock down the questions OF
State and walk over them with one hand
tied behind their backs-can lead out a
bran new Joke by the ear and be as frollc-
some rs a boy playing circus" when oc-
casiOn offers. !.
MIR. Garden, of Ohio county, is one OF
these men. and when the members
were all worrying themselves about the
s'free-pass bill" and pouring out their
minds in amendments and remarks, lie
broke the dignity of the House all to pieces
by offering the amendment that n per
son shall accept from any candidate for
office or from a person who expects TO be
one. any invitation to dinner or any pres
emit whatever except such present be \
Wheeling ~stogie." The '~'stogie" part was
afterwards taken out and the amendment
adopted almost unanimously.
MIR. Ragland also believes in greasing
the wheels of legislation with a little
pleasantly, now and then, and when MIR.
| Hensley's bill to prevent the disturbance
of public worship was under debate, and
when the members were getting hot and
sweaty over it and the patron of the bill
was shaking for its success, Mr.. X. moved
to put the salvation army among the
religious bodies to be protected, and the
members laughed, voted the motion down
and pleased Mr.. Hensley by passing his
bill to n second reading.
But he who cal make IN old joke new
and jirk another laugh out of it regardless
of its age deserves more honor thar all.
On February ., when the fog and rain was
so thick outside that the gas had to be lit
all through the Capitol, and when the
members were solemnly huddled together
in the House, waiting glOomily for the old
''G~round-hog Day" resolution to be
trotted out, Mr.. Kidd liyened them mp by
moving an appropriation "TO buy n Ian
tern for the use of the ground hog The
idea was new, and the animal evidently
needed the light, but, as the people were
being taxed Tor a weather bureau, the mo-
ton was lost.
Mr.. Hcusley too, although a minister
and a Republican, got of al
neat pun the other day, in a reso-
luton That Judge Okey Johnson
is the most highly favored of any gentle
man voted for, for the office of United
States Senator, inasmuch AZ he has a
Pugh in which to sit, Chambers in which
to sleep, a Cook to prepare his meals, and
a Chew to masticate his food.
But the funniest thing in Charleston at
the present writing is the admiration
which each member of the Legislature has
for himself, and the burning desire for a
photograph of his person which possesses
him. Go into Becker & Tells studio at
any hour in the day and You will be al
most certain TO find two or three Senators
or Delegates with their Legislative faces
on, waiting for their turn.
Just one word about the officers of the
House before | CLOSE" The House is es-
p~ecially lucky III the possession OF such
officers and clerks as it has. They are all
perfect from the Speaker, Mr.. Rowan,
whose position proves his ability, down to
the committee clerks and Journal pages.
FavOrs have been showered upon me from
every hand, and the way in which the
clerks, Col. Peyton and Will Byrne, and
the Sergeant-at-Arms, Mr.. C.. p. Dorr,
have taken Inc mp, 80 tn speak, IA IA strang-
er, without money and without price"
let me look over their journals and appro-
pirate easy chairs to my W use, cannot
be equallcd anywhere.
The journal pages" MesSrs. Chew"
Gorrell and Joe" Chambers have also
presented me with a complete extra file OF
the Legislatures publications, to cheer
me in my solitude, and forward to
the REGISTER, after | have been
sufficiently cheercd. ! find the Senate
Journal to be a most thrillingly emotional
work, and | look for its arrival each
morning with nm cagcrness equaled only
by Judge Maxwell, but ] don't exercise
proof-reading faculty with the same as
siduity which he displays.
! am at present reading n most wildly
pictured situation in which Mr.. Morris
electrilies the Senate by demanding the
ayes and noes" | will forward the file as
fast as issued and | advise you to read it if
you have any taste for wildly thrilling lit
- t,r Don