The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1887-03-10
CRUEL REVENGE.

CRUEL REVENGE.
How Bob Burdette Got Even uilh 8 Ma
Jestic but Very Impolite Gentlensa.
Once, in the dead heart of the pitt
less winter had drawn my good two
handed Lecture with the Terrible Name,
and was shifting all the coasts of Penn
sylvania with it, sparing neither pro-
nounced nytheD young OF old. and
wearing at my belt the scalps of many
a pale-face audience. One night l
reached Erie the pleasant just as the
clocks in the Lord Mayors castle
struck twenty -one. 1t was bitter, Bit
ing, stinging cold, and there was no
ambulance at the station, while there
was good hotel there. Invent in and
registered, and man of commanding
presence, tailor-built clothes and a
brown beard of most refined culture,
followed me, and under my plebeian
scrawl made the register luminous with
his patrician cognomen. 1 stood lit
tie in awe of this majestic being, about
as little as usually stand in the pres
ence of any majestic creature, and when
in deep bass, commanding voice he
ordered a room I had great mind
something that always carry with me
when I travel-to go out and get him
one. The gentlemanly and urbane
night clerk, who also seemed to be
deeply impressed is the habit of the
! night clerk-with the gentleman's re-
sponsible-to-any amount toot on,
Sawmbel said he was sorry but he had
but one vacant room and it contained
but one bed, '.Still," he said, as be-
came man who was bound to stand
for his house if it hadn't bed in it,
sit was a very wide bed, very wide
and quite long. Two gentlemen could
sleep in it quite comfortably, and if ="
But the Commanding Being at my side
said that was quite altogether out of
the question entirely. Quite! He was sor-
| ry for the-here he looked at me, hesitat-
ed, but finally gentleman, but He
couldn't share His room with him. He
ed he might find comfortable lodgings,
but He couldn't permit him to occupy
sven a portion of His bed. Then the
slerk begged pardon, and was sorry.
and all that, but this other gentleman
had registered first, and il
was for him to say what dis
position should be made of this lonely
room and solitary bed. 1 hastened to
assure the majestic being that it was
all right; he was welcome to two-thirds
of the room, all the looking-glass and
| one-half of the bed. mo-" he said,
very abruptly, 81 will sit here by the
stove and sleep in chair. I thank
you, sir, but would not sleep with my
own brother. I prefer a room to my
self" Imeekly told him that didn't
know what kind of man his brother
was, but no doubt he did, and there
fore must conclude that he wasn't a
| fit man to sleep with. But his brother
was out of the question, and if he
wanted part of my couch. he might
| have it and welcome, and would agree
not to think of his brother. "No sir, -
he said, 81 will sleep in no mans bed. y
1 said I wouldn't either, if I wasn't
sleepy, but when was sleepy, 1 didn't
care; I'd sleep with the King of Eng
land or the President, and wouldn't
care cent who knew it.
Well, / went to bed, curled up un-
der the warm, soft blankets, and heard
the wind shrek and wall and whistle
and yell-how like all creation the
wind can blow in Erie-and as the night
grew colder and colder every minute,
I fell asleep and dreamed that heaven
was just forty-eight miles west of Dun
kirk. About 2:30 or o'clock there
came laundering rap at the door, and
with vague, half-waking impression
in my dream that sombody from the
other place was trying to get in,
said:
"What is itp''
"It is l." answered a splendid voice,
which 1 recognized at once. II am
the gentleman who came on the train
with you."
"Yes," I said, "and what is the mat
terp''
The splendid voice was trifie hum
BILE as it replied:
81 have changed my mind about
sleeping with another man"
$50 have IT. I howled, so joyously
that the very winds laughed in merry
echo. $50 have 1! wouldn't get out
of this warm bed to open that door for
my own brother!'
| / will close this story here. IF
should write the language that went
down that dim, cold hall outside my
door you wouldn't print it. And when
next morning i went skipping down
stairs as fresh as rose, and saw that
majestic being knotted up in hard
arm chair, looking hundred years old,
/ said:
Better is a poor and wise child thar
an old and foolish King, who knowett
not how to be admonished. For out Of
prison he cometh to reign, whereas
also he that is born in his kingdom be
cometh poor" This also is vanity
Robert j. Burdette, i'm Brooklyn Eagle
HOW GEORGE FLUNKED.