The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-08-13
The Photographer.
THE LOCUST,

He's something 81 YagaD0nd
In gurmundizlng food!
And yet this insect egots',
DisdAini' = bee and bird,
l. like some noisy folks We know
Determined Ia be- heard
VA II UdoHe, IN aug Wide 1"dke.
A Philadelphia school girl, upon being
asked by the teacher 10 define n hollow
m ckery, PROMPTLY replied, "A hustle" -
Phiiodciphia UeuM
A Maryland lady defends herself for the
size of her hustle by saying that she isn't
responsible for what gees On behind her
back -HuperS Bazdr.
The Enuli-h say that there are no ruins
In America, but have the English ever seen
the Kiraify tallet? -tSOmerCtiie JourHal,
Governor Vance said all he knew ABOUT
finances was that 1t took two better names
than his 10 get money ont of bank
GreensJoroHM (N O. Worhman.
The only time when woman doesn't
object 10 having II said that She got her
foot into il Is wuen shp Is trying on No.
81 slipper huntington Free Press.
The title of George W Cables latest lee.
ture is "Cuhwebs IN the Church" II may
ne guessed that Nh Cattle makes some
sweeping statements -LorcU CHizcH.
The girl who fills her essay with "rae
true, the beautiful and the good" may have
learned how 10 make u cake, bur we must
refuse TO believe it PiHsdUrg Dispoth
The chaps Won see in the country doubled
up over bicycle are supposed IN be "on
pleasure bent "-BosiOn COm. BViietiR
1t seems the jnurneymen bakers have
had merting To discuss their grievances
PrDbably If you should give baker all he
knead,, it would hr all he would want
B0ston UOm BuiietiH.
The editor of the Biizzard will not 90
abroad this summer. Win Blaine, Gamer
on, Cody and Pulitzer over there il is APP
parent that somebody must remain ~ home
and attend To business oil CITY Blizzard,
II il queer that Queen Victoria did not
confer the order OF the Bath on some Of
Buffalo B,ll's Misunderstanding ChrOR.
The reason the political stump speaker
Is 50 fond of using soft SOAP il BECAUSE
there is 50 much lie in lt.-CharL,stOH I'm
terprtSe,
People who want 10 know whether IL is
pronounced "neether" or "nyfher" will
find, il they investigate, that it is either
.SomeruHIc JomnGi
When a singers throat Is raw, you can't
expect her songs To be well done,-Ptts.
burg Chronicle.
Charity may cover n multitude of sins
but that Is not its regular business-AeW
Orleons Picayune
An etiquette rule, now going the rounds
says that "when lady and a gentleman
walk on the street together, the lady should
always be inside the gentleman" But sup
posing the gentleman can't swallow the la
dy, what then ?-SpriHgfeM UHiOa
A Chicago man says he never saw a cal
with blue eyes, and offers $3.50 for one
Cats with blue may no scarce, but If he
wants a score or two of cats with yellel
voices let him visit this town.--NorriSt0,ra
Ueruld
Canada will soon thirst for peace If she
goes to war on Goldfish. -NeB orleans Plea
yune.
A good American wine needs no bush
All thai is required is popular foreign la,
bel.-L0tOeH COurter.
hDbul lillS tlIlit lle SlIc VI tHe uetltl
piece of ice Is about rs small AS his con,
cience.--Ph2adeiphia CaU.
If Blaine intends to claim relationship
with all the peoples of Europe, Carter lIar,
rison should proceed against him for in.
fringement of patent--.St. L0HiS Rcpub
To prevent your house being burgarized,
leave II biz watermelon on the back porch
-KdcoR Tacg,Uph.
There once was an ichthyosaurus,
Who lived when the earth was all porous,
But he tainted with shame
When he first heard his name,
And departed long time before us.
--iHilndCiphiH Press.
Now n the seashore doth the maid
In garb fantastic sport her,
And with aquatic friydr wade
Within the sunlit water
A yard wide hat she doth disclose
To shield her from the suubeams,
And yet, when She returns, her nose
\ little oyerdone seems.
- IonhGy Go-,tr.
Wherever there's little child
That hasn't any mother,
The sun shall beam more mother mild
Ga that child than another.
70 him each little bird shall sing
81 am thy lit'le brother"
t,.l al l. To- 81 81.