The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-07-20
Bob Burdette on the Battle Flags.

The longer live-and l seem to be liv-
ing a little longer every day of my life,
observes Bob Burdette, in the Philadelphia
Press, and the more observe the actions
Of learned, prominent. and presumably
wise men, the more firmly am l convinced
that the highest type of wisdom ever mas
querades in the motley of folly, and that
the best writers on mental science and
political economy are Charles Godfrey
Leland and Josh Billings" President
Cleveland never read Josh Billings" Had
he done so he would have erappled to his
memory with hooks of steel this bit of
komely, priceless wisdom: The time tn
\ set hen is when the hen is reddy tn set. B."
The President, in the matter of return
ing the captured battle-h flags, has been
guilty of the useless folly of trying TO
compel a hen to "set" when her mind is far
away on the pansy bed and cool, forbidden
scratching places in the kitchen garden,
while she regards the nest with only for
getful indifference, unless some foolish
mortal attempts to drive her upon it, when
her indifference develops successfully into
hesitation, reluctance, protestation, aver
Sion peremptory refusal and riotous out
breaking and obstinate rebellion.
Nobody was saying anything about these
battle flags. Now and then q company of
Union veterans, making reunion pilgrim
age to some old battle field, carried with
them, in a glow of good-fellowship and
fraternal feeling, flag captured by them
long ago from their friends the enemy,
and now being Hospitality entertained by
him, crowned the reunion of old-time
friends and foes by returning the flag to
the hands that had first unfurled and then
so bravely defended it. If the veterans
wish TO do this no man shall say them nay.
In fact, it was rather pleasant thing for
the boys TO do when their hearts prompted
them to do il. They captured the flags it
is their right to do with them as they will.
But here comes man who never captur-
ed a flag, who never saw rebel flag until
long after il had been captured who abode
nigh unto the Canada border when he had
every opportunity to 90 a-gunning after
battle flags; he hears the contented mono-
: logue of hen who is foraging through tho
strawberry bed and occasionally dividing
the spoil with the weak, though much Oft
lener with the strong, and mistakes II for
Nhe restless cluck of hen moved by
promptings of the maternal instinct to
brood over whole nestful of the unsearch-
able possibilities of eggs whose fruitful
harvest may, good wot, dominate the elect
oral BARNARD. He said: will go into
this obliteration and reconciliation business
as a iobber; 1 will take up that / laid not
down. l will gather where / have not
strewed and reap where did not SOW.
will weather these flag returners and cross
the line ahead of the whole feet by clean
majority"
Alas for the man who would set a nom
"setting" hen, or, finding willing one,
setteth her upon dragons teeth!
That hen wasn't ready to set, and tAe
mistaken President has crumpled bis linen,
!. overheated himself impaired his dignity,
kflled the air with dust and feathers, and
set the whole national barnyard into wild
commotion, and the hen which he sought
to "set" is perched high on the reel of the
old Grant reaper, which has been under
the shed since 1865. where she makes the
farm ring with defiant protests. Even If
that hen was halt ready to set, President
Cleveland isn't the man To set her. He
hasn't been with her enough. Somehow
she seems to roost high every time he
comes around the barnyard. IL she had
seen more of him now. say when she was
about twenty five years younger, 1t might
have been different.
Any man old enough to be President
ought 10 be able TO see when hen wants to
set. A hen is such a fool she reminds
me of men, And even a President
is but man. See, now; i have a
; quarrel with my brother, with whom
/ have lived pleasantly enough ever
since our father died, away back in