Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-11-24
VAST SPECULATIONS.
Uncle SamuePs Real Estate Transactions
Discount All the Rest.

HAS UlduC SGNtIdl investments WHICH
beat them all. His deals have been con-
Quoted on magnificent scale, and he
has never been known to go amiss in
his calculations, OF to make a pur-
chase which did not turn out to be
paying investment.
To be sure, several mossback silur-
ians kicked ike bay maverick when
the old man Che wasn't old then-only
% offered to help Napoleon Bonaparte
out of a scrape by taking farm off
his hands, which was encountered bv
heavy mortgage and in danger of fall
ing into the possession of John Bull.
The farm in question was adjacent
to Uncle Sans plantation, and he
often looked over the fence and adj
mired the lay of the land. A very
fine water-course lay between the two,
and he and Napoleon held it in part
nershlp, and got along nicely without
quarreling about it; they both swan
in it, fsned along its banks, or sailed
boats upon its surface, and one never
once accused the other of muddling the
water.
But when it began to be whispered
about that John Bull was going to
force it from Napoleon, Uncle Sans
dander was aroused. He didn't like
John Bull any way. He was mean,
quarrelsome fellow, and always raising
row with his neighbors. He had
jumped upon Sam when he was but
STRIPPING, out the young giant kicked
and scratched SO vigorously, and
swung his dge-hammer fist around so
dexterously, that burly John was glad
enough to withdraw from the contest
and leave the youthful Achilles in I'M
disputed possession of the farm he had
cleared for himself.
But John Bull kept farm adjoining
Samuels and seized every opportunity
to worry the lad and make life I'M
pleasant. SO when it became rumored
that Bull was going to get hold of the
farm on the other side of him, Sam
went to work and scraped enough
money together to head him off.
That was way back in the days of
Jeffersonian simplicity, and he hadn't
got used to keeping much ready cash
on hand. But by selling some pro-
duce, and picking up a little money
here and a little there, and borrowing
little elsewhere, he managed to ac-
cumulate the handsome sum of SIS
100000. This he gave to Napoleon,
who cleared the mortgage on the farm
and decided the whole tract to Uncle
Sam in fee simple.
Ii was an immense tract and meas
ured many, many thousand acres The
purchase was called the Louisiana adj
dition. John Bull was outwitted. He
would have given a great deal more
for it than that, but he thought by
waiting a while he would get Napoleon
into such a box that he could get it for
nothing.
The silurians couldn't see any use in
such extravaganza, and they tore their
hair and acted very silly genearlly
But Uncle Samuel didn't mind them.
He had a little scheme which he knew
would bring him money. He went
quickly to work and laid out the
Louisiana addition in many subdi-
visions Then he offered to deed a
certain number of lots in each division
to actual settlers. There were great
many fellows lying around idle in the
effete east and in the foreign countries
who were glad for such a chance to
get home and business location for
nothing.
Well, they came in great colonies,
and in remarkably short time all
the free lots were taken and the rest
were largely increased in value. They
rose to ten, twenty, hundred, and
even thousand times their original
value.
After Uncle Sam had once got a
taste of the real-estate business he
wanted more of it. So as soon as he
saw his first investment under good
way to bring in money, he bought a
large orange grove, adjoining the
southeast corner of his farm, of Span
lard for $3.000,0O0. Some of the sill
urians kicked about the purchase also,
because there was good deal of
swamp land among it, but Uncle Sam
soon convinced them that the alli-
gator skins in the swamps were alone
worth what he paid for the whole
Florida addition.
Some time after this republican
neighbor adjoining his Louisiana tract
offered him large COW pasture, known
as the Texas range, for a present. He
accepted it without heSitancv and pro-
ceeded to fence it in. But Mexico in
terfered and claimed large part of
it. As fast as Uncle Sans boys would
put up the rails Mexico would throw
bnem uoWH again. AT laSb Gne eVIl
neighbor went SO far as to slap several
of the young fellows. And then I'm
Gle Sam flew into a terrible rage and
gave the greaser most complete
thrashing; and before he would let
him up made him relinquish his claim
not only to the cow-pasture but also
to about one-half of the remainder of
his possessions. Uncle Sam did feel
little like a robber in taking so much
for nothing, so he reached in his wal
let, which by this time was always
well filled, and gave the greaser $15,-
000,0 as remuneration for his losses.
1t wasn't very long after this trans
action that Uncle Sam found rich
gold mine in one of the fields he got so
easily from Mexico. He dug out mil
lions and millions of the precious
metal every year, and this gain gave
him a sharp twinge of conscience. He
fol@ H., l. IL, +o1 H.