The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1887-11-10

The most ludicrous pot snd-kettle
exhibition of recent date was an ed
itorial in Mondays American sam-
joResing the three New York news
papers-the World, Sun and Star
for lndulging in personal villifca-
ton. 1t is a beautiful sermon and
sound IN doctrine. II the venerable
editor, after hurting tue scathing
criticism, had rushed around in
front of it and received the charge
full in his own heart, it would have
been rebuke fittingly bestowed.
And he should have taken Baskette
by the nape of the neck and Little
ton by the seat of the breeches and
carried him with him so that when
the load exploded in him it would
have splattered him all over them.
Perhaps the colonel intended that
his penciled javelln should 60 skin
ming up the country piece and jab
Watterson and then boomerang
back and run amuck in the Tennes-
see printing offices. When one OF
these cussin' editors calls another
dog it's wonder the breath that
utters it doesn't turn around and
bark at him. It would, but it's 10 a
hurry to get out where it can get
fresh air. Col. Colyar writes with
pencil a half-inch long and when he
gets through the sheet looks like a
| Chinaman had had fit in pot OF
lampblack and turned it over. So
you see you can't always imagine
which way his tracks lead. That
editorial was in the shape of a
Lining bomb. He hurled it at the
New York boys but he'd rather it
would burst right in the American
office than to miss bursting alto
gether. He's after blood and hair
somewhere and he'd furnish it him
self rather than have it denied that
| ''Colyar always brings back game
when he goes cunning"
Maj. Stablmaa and Col. Patter-
son sent in their petitions to join
the Redmouthed Order of Shrek
ing Denunciators and were initiated
in due form. Appletons have Of
fered Col. P. large sum if he will
swap places with the swapping tur-
tie woman in the back of the spell
ing book and furnish bilIingsgate
for the rising generations. The
| gentle reader is hereby authorized
to commend US to Maj. Stshlman fog
Standardization, hsavy gold
plate, frescoed, tripple-turreted ink
singing. He is grandson OF
Ithuriel and was born in Damascus
and was swordbearer to the king.
He cuts to the dividing ssunder
and he waves his trusty pen with
all the dexterity and grace with
which a gresser slashes and curls
an ox-lash. While there is a strik-
ling resemblance between the major
and the crocodile that roasted for q
week or two on the front fence ST
the American Office, we doubt if he
sat for the picture. We are satisf-
| ed he would break the glass.
The colonel's boomerang was
doubtless meant for Stshlman to,
l-Stahlmsn, Baskette and Little
ton, these three! The World, the
Star and the Sun. Stahlman is the
World, Baskette is the Star and Lit
tleton is the-well, he's the devil!
They say that Littleton rips ou'
his editorials with q buzz-saw, but
we never sac him do it (pleast
watch for a pun). We have ina
, gined that he sometimes wrote witt
a dead cat (begging the cats par
don) as we have stood ct his Office
steps and hired boy to hold ouI
,, Noncompliance nose while w
fsced the fumes that oozed out o
bis lair, but we mayer sag the ca
| (please see saw AGAIN..
, Now wouldn't there be mess 0
lit if the coIonels lampblack bomt
should burst and splatter the colo
Q nels anatomy over Littleton -anc
, The cat, Stahlman and the crocodile
Baskette and the mummy, Patterson
and the snapping-turtle. Then
nv countrynep, would be the time
for the immortal gods to hold thei
noses! Mutilated mummies ant
crushed cats, mugwumps and rottel
republicans, bleeding buzz saw
and disemboweled democrats, eruc
, tating editorials and sin splattere(
statesmen, crippled crocodiles anc
sphixiated subsidists