The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-08-03
a Farmer Who Changed Places
With His Wife.

There was once man who was so cross
and peeyish because he thought his wife
never did enough IN che house.
He came home one evening from the
hay field growing and scolding. till the
things seemed TO fairly glow around him.
Dear don't be angry said the wom-
an . In the morning we viii change
work will go out with the hay work
ers and NOW, while you do the work at
home
Yes, the man thought this good idea,
and was very willing to show her thing
or two.
50, early in the morning the woman
took the scyihe and went out into the
meadow with the rest to NOV.
The man was there 10 work in the
house. First he made ready to ehurn.
but after ehuruing awhile, feeling very
thirsty, he went down to the cellar % tap
some cider. While doing this he heard
the pig in in the kitchen He ran up
stairs leaving the faucet open At the
first sight Of him the pig ran agains; the
churu with very disastrous consequences
When the man saw this mischief done
and the pig greedily smacking and sip
ping the stream that ran over the door,
he was ready 10 fiy of with rage, and en-
tireIy forgetting the cider barrel, he
punished the pig as best he could. He
reached it again in the door and gave ii
mighty kick that killed it on the spot
Now he remembered leaving the fau-
eet open, but on going to the cellar all
the cider had run out He then went to
the milk room, and again found cream to
I'LL the churn, for butter he must have
for dinner When he had churned a.
while he remembered that the COW was
yet in the stable, and had received neitn-
er bite nor sup, though ii was late IN the
day
Thinking that il would take too long
to 20 to the pasture he concluded 10 put
her on The sod roof ON which he grew
short, green grass. As the hut lay by a
steep hillside he thought that BY layinga
plank from that TO the roof, It would be
easy to get the COW up, but he dared not
leave the churn, for the baby was crawl
ing around on the floor and might upset
it; 30 he took the churn on his back,
thinking he would give the COW some
water before putting her on the roof
Leaning down to dip water from the well
down came the contents Of the churn,
deluging his head and neck, then drop
ping into the we'll
1t was now near dinner time. and as
there was no butter he thought Of cook
ing mush, and Immediately hung up
kettle Of water over the fire.
But now he bethought hims IF that
the COW might fall OF the roof and break
her legs or neck, 80 be must 90 up to tie
her. one end Of the rope he tied around
the cows neck, and dropping the other
through the chimney he went down and
ttttA II dtNIiAtt tAN lex tNA iLE NdtEl WIS
boiling in the kettle and he must make
the mush. While he was doing this the
COW fell off the roof and dragged him up
the chimney by the rope. There be hung
a prisoner, while the poor COW dangIed
between heaven and earth, not able 10
either go up OF down
The wife had waited seven long and
broad hours to be called to dinner, but
no summons came. At last she thought
ii was too long and finally went home
Upon seeing the COW hanging in such a
remarkable manner, she quickly cut the
rope with her scythe. At the same mo-
ment the man fell down the chimney,
and his wife found him standing on bis
head in the mush kettle
Thus ended the wOeful experience Of a
man who found fault with his wife and
As the type of the genus homo Is not
confined to one nation alone. let every
man addicted to similar practice take a
solemn warning.