The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-27
HIS INFORMATION BUREAU.
New York World.
] have received the following note

] have received the following note from an anxious inquirer after truth ::
 JERSEY CITY, N J., July 25
 DEAR SIR: Would you mind giving little space to an explanation of naturalization as practced in this country, together with its effects? How would go to work to become naturalized? What are the first steps? What would be the result of naturalization here, or in New York City, .in case I afterwards con cluded to return to England, where l was born? What are my duties towards the United States pending my naturalization, and what are the duties of the United States toward me during the same time? What were the pecul. far doctrines of the Druids: Would you ad- wise young man. forty seven years of age, to begin the study of fifteen ball pool? What is the peculiarity of classical music, and how can one distinguish it? What do you think of my hand writing? TRUTH-SEEkER.
 Naturalization, according to Theo- dore D. Woolsey, who has practiced it for years, takes place when an alien transfers his allegiance from the coun- try of his origin and the sovereign of the same to another country and sov- ereign. Your best method for becom- ing naturalized in the state of New Jersey would be to write to Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen of Great Brit ain, Empress of India, General Assist ant Parent to His Royal Badness the Prince of Wales, and Leading Regina of the Known World, asking her to return your letters and hencetorth re- gard you only as friend.
 Naturalization may be partial or complete and may be detected by any one who is close observer. Natu- ralization is most likely to attack those who have formerly been aliens and 'allowed it to get the upper hand of them." Under the constitution of the United States no naturalized citizen can be president, and a great many who have not had any difficulty ot that kind find that this industry is overcrowded.
 So if you come to this country with a burning desire to obtain employ ment as president, you had better give it up. We never elect a man who has been an alien and who is liable to have it break out on him again whenever the sun gets very hot. We have made it rule for years, if possible, to elect a thick-set, self-made American citi- zen to the presidency, and then we feel free to go and board with him and make suggestions to him and tread frosted cake into his body brussels carpet.
 There are several steps that you might take in order to get naturaliZed in this country. Your maiden step, however, would be to get born on a foreign strand. You could then be- gin active preparations for becoming naturalized, such, tor instance, as crossing the ocean, and while leaning over the piazza of the ship and peer ing down into the soft green waves divesting yourself of your political disabilities.
 You do not state in your letter whether you are white or colored. You simply say that you are an Eng lishman. In writing to a newspaper you ought to be explicit and state your case fully. If you are a white man from England you may be natu- ralized by denouncing yonr own sov- ereign in unmeasured terms and nam- ing your first daughter Frances. Your health would then be good, and your vote would be counted. If you are colored Englishman we would reserve the right to inquire who you voted for before counting your vote.
 Your duty towards the United States, pending your naturalization, would be to write home as often as possible, referring to the great bless ings of American freedom, and show ing the poor, oppressed foreigner how much quicker and easier he can get his expressing done here than elsewhere.
 The duty of the United States towards you in the meantime is to protect you from foreign invasion and throw our navy around you so that you may go to bed every night with out fear of invasion, for no foreign power would so far forget what is due to the aged or helpless as to attack our navy. So you would be always safe, and if you took plenty of exercise and did not get your feet wet while being naturalized you would make good citizen and enjoy good health.
 The duty of the United Statas towards an unnaturalized citizen is quite plain, but not irksome. The United States, as a republic, never allows its obligations towards the offspring of monarchy to prey on it. So, if you wish to come forward and repent and be naturalized you will always find the United States ready to treat you white.
 I do not know much about the Druids. Our folks were mostly Wings and Episcopalians. The Druids, as near as I can leran, were kind of open-air sect, who worshiped sylvan god, ate watermelons during dog days and regretted it till the ground froze up. They were the first religious or ganization to introduce the custom of