davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
BRIGHT BITS.

The surest way for sweet girl graduates to get
into print is to wear calico dresses on commence.
ment day.-LotoeU Citizen.
The stamps that we pay &c. piece for cost
the government &c. a thousand. The govern
ment evidently wants the earth.-Puck.
COURSE in agriculture has been added to the
curriculum at Cornell The Presidential bee
Will not be included in the courSe.-NelU York
World.
THE cheapest riding is to places you do
not want to visit. The cheapest goods are
those you do not want to buy-Net0 Orleans
Pcdyttne.
How are we going to give the base ball UNI
pre- his just desertss" asks an exchange. We
can't say. 1t is against the law to hang man
more than once, we believe-NeD York Mail.
TELL us not in prosy numbers
Butter rolls are what they seem!
Meath their golden edges slumbers
Product never churned from cream.
Dayton Herald.
ONE day the Grand Old Man of Hawarden;
Went out to fell trees in his garwardeni
He fired big chip
'GainSt a church warwarden's lip,
And said most politely Beg parwardon."
-NOrTistotCn Herald.
A YOUNG MAN and his wife went house hunting
last week I'VE want n fiat - said the husband
to the first landlord he encountered
"All right; | have flats to rent. How many are
there of your" asked the landlord
Just two flats" was the serene answer
| Detroit Free Press.
| CzARINA-What's in that enormous box, my
| dearvitch, that is being unloaded from the
| droslIy?
Czar-The box contains a big cake of soap I've
just had made to order. / shall have hole dug
in it large enough to, crawl into, and then sit
| there and snap my fingers at the baffled An
! archists.-NeW York Sun.
THERE is a couple living in the vicinity of Bos
| ton who two years ago were nursed in the LAP
of luxury; that is to say they were very wealthy
| In fatal hour the husband took to amateur
| farming and the wife became her own milliner
| and dresSmaker. The last seen of this uufortu,
| nate pair was last week when they entered the
cars en- route for the State almshouse. -BOston
| Transcript.
| BAGLEY-I understand you and Miss Robinson
| have come to an understanding in that breach
| of promise case.
Bailey-YeS.
Bagley-What do you pay her?
Bailey-Pay her Do you think I'm going to
| throw away $5,0 900? No, sir sooner than do that
l offered her my hand again. Thatll stave mat
| tiers off for five years more.-Tid- Bits.
| A YOUNG MAN escorted young lady to the
| opera one evening. AS they were coming out
| he remarked, by way of opening conversation
| do you like the weather so cold and raw?' She
| must have misunderstood him
| YES" she said, Il like 'em raw; but, y
she continued, looking sweetly into his eyes
| don't you think they are great deal nicer
| fried?" They took 'em fried-COltcmbus Dis
patch.
NEPHEw-I don't go much on these old
proverbs.
| Uncle--Why not?
Nephew-Because you can't rely on them
You know there is proverb to the effect that
! silence is golden.
| Uncle-Yes.
Nephew-Well, you get yourself examined for
| a position in the custom house, as did and
| keep silent when the examiners ask you ques-
} and maj ri nj
it comes. | was rejected on the first ballot
| Texas Siftings.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

The st. Louis Globe Democrat claims to
have made the astonishing discovery that
the Democratic party has never caused a
dollar to be added to the value of the South
ern peoples property or the profit of their
productive forces. 1t also claims to have
discovered that the Democratic party has
not helped the Southern people in the least
to secure capital for the development of
their resources and the extension of their
business enterprises. 1t is certain that the
Republican party has not helped the South.
ern people. On the contrary that party did
all it could to ruin the South, and nothing
but the undaunted determination of the peo-
pie to rehabilitate themselves prevented il
from succeeding. 1t is true that Southern
prosperity began before the Republican
party was driven from power, but that
party deserves no thanks on that account.
Southern business enterprises have pros.
pered wonderfully since President Cleve-
land was inaugurated, and the develop
ment in all directions has been rapid and
substantial. The Southern people will
never be convinced that the Democratic
party has not aided them in their progress
sive march
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
A Good Recommendation.

The grand jury, in its report published
Friday, recommends such legislation as
will give this county board to equalize
assessments. The recommendation is a
good one. The MORNING NEWS has advo-
Gated for years such board for this and
every other county in the State. With
boards of this sort the rate of taxation could
be considerably reduced, because the chronic
tax dodgers would have to stand on the
same footing with honest taxpayers The
present method of levying taxes would be
good enough if all property owners were
honest and conscientious. AS matter of
fact many taxpayers think their property,
when they offer it for sale, is worth about
ten times as much as when they value it for
taxing purpose.
A board of equalization, selected from
different parts of the county, would be well
qualified TO pass upon the value of property
and it would, also, put on the tax books a
great deal of property that escapes taxation
altogether Not long ago it was found that
a tract of land in this county, worth 5000
an acre, which could be sold for many
thousands of dollars, had not been taxed for
a number of years. 1t seems it had been
accidentally left off the tax books on one
occasion and the owner had not taken the
trouble to have it put on again. In another
case the owner of a piece of land, worth
about $4,000, had been returning it at
$500 because he was getting no income
from it. Instances of this sort could be
multiplied easily. The above two, however,
,,Nf oso 20 CHI hot &c
deprived of great deal of the taxes to
which it is justly entitled.
If tie Legislature wants to do something
for which the whole people will be gratifed,
let it first give the State an assessment law
that will prevent tax lodging and will tend
to put all taxpayers ON the same footing. J
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
Public Education.

The Commissioner of Education has Just
issued the fifteenth annual report Of his de-
partment, presenting detailed view of edu-
cation in the United States for the year
ending June 80, 1885, together with a brief
summary of education in foreign countries.
The report deals with all classes of educa-
ton, including Industrial training, schools
of theology, schools of law, schools of medi-
cine, dentistry, and pharmacy, training
schools for nurses, schools for deaf mutes,
schools for the blind, and schools for the
feeble minded
That part of the report which deals with
State systems of public instruction is full of
interest. At the end of the year for which
the report was made the school population
of thirty eight States was 16, S63, 265, and for
ten Territories 306, 1875. The enrolment in
private schools in twenty-five States was
659,694, and in two Territories 1927. Pri-
vate schools in other States and Territories
were not reported. For the entire country
eighteen different school ages were reported,
the longest being from years to 81, and
the shortest from 8 to 16. The school year
ranged from sixty-two days in North Caro-
lima to 1893 in Maryland. The number of pub
lie school teachers in all States and Terrific
ries, except Idaho, was 319,549 Twelve
States and three Territories made no dis
tinction in salaries, teachers receiving from
1928 30 to SS7 81 month. For the remain
ing States salaries for men ranged from
$50 Sc TO $40 so, and for women from
$21 % to 500 OF a month, the total annual
salary depending, of course, upon the dura-
ton of the school year. The total annual
income for public schools in all the States
and Territories, except Kentucky was $113,-
521. 1885,
In the South Atlantic States public edu-
cation was reported in growing condi
ton" In North Carolina there was an in
crease of 14,723 in the school population
Is, $50 in enrolment, and 125S3 in average
attendance Owing to insuficiency OF
funds, the school system of South Carolina
was seriously embarrassed. No statistics OF
the system in Georgia were available, except
for the chief cities. Florida gave evidence
of unusual activity in respect to public edu-
cation, one of the most satisfactory out
comes being an increase of $163, 800 in the
expenditure for the schools.
OF the difficulties in the way of public
education, the report says: Zone of the
! chief hindrances to the progress of ou1
common schools is the multiplicity of school
districts. and of independent local authori.
ties, with the inevitable result of small
schools, low standards, low wages for teach
ers, poor supervision or none at all, and
want of funds Wherever these petty
school sovereignties' have been abandoned
the schools are fourishing; where they are
retained, the reverse is true"
The report, which is of very great value,
contains 325 pages of official reports, 81 OF
statistics, and BIT of the Commissioners re-
port proper, making a volume of 1,15G
pages.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
Had Been There.

from me Detroit Free Press.
The other day when Michigan avenue grocer
was in great hurry and his store full of Gus.
toners he wanted some change and handing a
s. bill to a young man who had been asking the
price of plug tobacco sent him out to get small
money. The messenger returned in a few min.
utes and laid 81 30 in silver on the counter.
How thisg queried the grocer. 1T was q So
bill gave you"
Exactly
And here's only 81 50''
"Iknow il. The other SOC. Is in my pocket -
you hand it over OF III have you arrested -
go ahead, my friend. I've been right there
before. It's simply breach o. trust, and such
cases don't hold water in our courts. You can't
even get warrant"
You scoundrell I'll call an oflicer!n
"And I'll waitr'
The grocer ran out and found the patrolman
and told him the case and was replied to with:
II can't arrest him without warrant, and !
don't believe you can get the warrant"
He went back to the store TO lick the placid
sharper, but the latter peeled Off and put him
self on the defense, and the job was aban-
doned.
what ails you," he said. as he prepared TO
depart, sis lack of gratitude. could have
kept the whole S., but my conscience wouldn't
allow 1t.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
A Picnic for Robin Hunters.
From The Baltimore Anericnn.

'rhere is another" said one of the doorkeep
ers at the White House one day this week
whats thaty" asked one who was standing
near by. why, cigar flend - was the reply
See that man going off there" and he pointed
TO q very respectable-loolzing man walking away
putting at a half-smoked cigar 1--WE have reel
lar customers here-men who make IL practice
TO come to the White House once or twice day
and pick up stumps of cigars thrown on the
porch or walks leading to the House. Cabinet
days are their chief days, and when Congress is
in session they live high. They know that Cabi.
net officers and Senator's smoke good cigars. and
often they have just lighted one before reaching
the House and throw it away. You would be
surprised 20 know the men who come here daily
TO pick up these CASTOR stumps-robinsI believe
the actors call them. The White House, you
know, is the place which all the prominent men
of the country, in town, visit. These men in.
varably smoke good cigars, and II is a picnic
for robin hunters Watch the porch some dny
and see for yourself There is one statesman.
however, who has lost SO many cigars in that
way that he is on TO them. SO he carefully
hides his Reina Victoria behind one Of the big
pillars"
Funny people here in Washngton,ehY"
And the stranger answered, Yea, VERIFY
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
A Diplomatic Story.
From, the London Times.

FTOHt Ue LO1luOft tunes.
The story goes back to the year 1890 The re-
lations between Germany and Russia were
strained. The German newspapers complained
OF the excessive massing of Russian troops on
the frontier. The Russian newspapers replied
by attacks on the attitude of the German press.
Gen. Won Schweinitz, in spite of this tension en-
joyed the highest credit with Alexander II, to
whose private circle he alone of all the ambas-
sadorS was admitted. He belonged to the small
number of persons who played at the card par
ties which the Emperor was in the habit of join
ing every evening. One evening the Emperor,
seeing the German ambassador enter the room,
went up to him hurriedly and in almost violent
language complained of the attitude of the Ger
man press, of the perfidy of Prince Bis
marck and of the Indifference of the EN-
peror William, who tolerated this violence
OF the press and this underhand policy of the
Chancellor. Gen Won Schweinitz was quite
taken aback. However, his habtual self posses-
sion soon came to his relief He said nothing
He had sufficient self-command to take his place
at the Emperor'S table and to remain there the
whole evening. On his return home he pre-
pared a report, which gave faithful account
of what had occurred, with the exact words used
by the Emperor When, at about o'clock in
the morning, he read over, his report he became
alarmed at the consequences to which the faith
full reproduction of the words of the Emperor
might lead-words of which the immediate
result would be his own recall. He took the re-
port, threw it on the fire, and went to bed, in
tending to sleep over it and to write his report
in calner frame of mind.
He awoke very uneasy, and was about to
breakfast when an aide-de-camp summoned
him to the Emperor. Alexander H., who was
very emotional, threw himself into his arms,
explained how nervous he had been overnight,
begged him to forget what he had then said,
and talked in the friendliest way of Germany
the Emperor and the Chancellor. Two months
afterward all was arranged, and Gen. Won
Schweinitz, being on leave of absence and on a
visit to Prince Bismarck, told him what had
passed between him and the Car. MY dear
ambassador, said Prince Bismarck, tapping
him on the shoulder, remember that l have
rendered greater service by what l have not
said than by what have said"
If Gen. Won Schweinitz should go to Rome,
placed between the King and the Pope, both
now Germanys allies he will often have occa-
sion to remember this remark, and will do as
much service by silence as by speech
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
Reoistered al The Post once IN sarannah.

The MORNING News is published every day in
the year and is served to subscribers IN the citD
by newsdealers and carriers, on their own &c
count, at - cents a week. 81 90 n month, So "
for six months and $40 90 for one year.
The MORNING News, by mail, one month,
81 co; three months 81 90; six months, s. 90;
one year, $40 90.
The MORNING NEws, by mail, six times a
week (,ythout Sunday ISSUE, three months,
81 90; six months, 81 90 one year, IS co.
The MORNING NEWS Tri-Weekly, Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays three months, 81 25 six
months 50 30; one year, IS co.
The SUNDAY NEWS, by mail one year, 81 90.
The WEEKLY NEWS, by mol, one year, 81 %.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order check or registered letter Cur
rency sent by mail at risk of senders.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
"MoRNIEG News, Savannah Ga"
Advertising rates made known on application.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

The Tide of Immigration.

A table prepared by the Emigration Com
missioners of New York city for the past
year shows that only 6, 126 of the 800, S87 i'm
migrants arriving there, whose destination
was recorded, settled in States south of the
Potomac river The following figures will
indicate the general distribution: New
York 100, 554, Pennsylvania AZ, 103, Illinois
q, SOP, Minnesota 1887, New Jersey 10, 432,
Michigan 1854, Missouri $685. Ohio {, 202,
Wisconsin 9,145, Virginia 203, Kentucky
724, Arkansas 15S, Alabama 1885, Georgia
209 Mississippi "a, Louisiana 474, South
Carolina 10S. North Carolina 20, and so on
Commenting upon the small proportion of
the foreign population of the country that
settles in the South the New York Graphic
says that it is due to two causes. First, i'm
migrants suppose that there is a lack of
business opportunities in this section. Sec
ond, Southern railroads have not shown
sufficient enterprise to place agents at Cas-
tie Garden for the purpose of pointing out
the South's advantages.
The Graphic is right about its facts. Tt
should be remembered, however, that the
conditions in the South and West are very
different. The West is mentioned because
a large proportion of the immigrants credit
ed to Northern States eventually settles in
that section. In the South the railroads do
not possess large tracts of undeveloped
lands, as is the case with Western railroads.
In consequence, the owners of Southern
railroads feel no more interest in the ques-
ton of immigration than do ordinary citi-
10 flr yl,r =,
railroads are not represented at Castle
Garden.
In a large measure the wealth and pros
perity of the West have been built up by
means of foreign immigration. The South
should profit in the same way, and it may
do so if the people and the railroads will
consent TO act in concert. The owners of
lands might agree to dispose of part of them
at reasonable prices, the railroads under
taking to act as agents for that purpose.
Suppose, for instance, that the owners of
lands along the line of the Central railroad,
and the officers of the latter, should adopt
the plan suggested, it would cost but little
to carry it into execution. A small sum
from each of the parties concerned would
defray the expenses of the agent at Castle
Garden, and would also pay for whatever
advertising might be necessary.
Just now immigrants are coming to this
country in great numbers. Many of them
are hardy English, Scotch, Irish and Ger
mans, classes which the South would be glad
to welcome If the advantages of the South
could be properly set forth, and cheap lands
and cheap railroad fares could be offered,
there is but little doubt that fair proper
ton of these immigrants would turn in this
direction.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
THE BARBER WON.
He Generally Does, and This Was No
Exception to the Rule.
From the CHICAGO Herald.

|
From the Chicago Herald.
A lank Hoosier, with bony, notified face ran
into Madison street barber shop just as the
sun was going down last evening and informed
| the proprietor that he wanted to be shaved in
''durn short order" His beard, which was
| heavy and wiry, extended far down his sunburt
neck. The barber tilted the granger in a chair
and swept the bristleS off with a graceful -four
ish of the razor.
''You need hair cut, the artist said, drench-
| ing the up-turned face with bay rum
mo don't nuther," replied the granger.
''Intend to braid it pretty soon!"
Wear it in a metz"
. Then you t ought ugh, to get it cut"
IT won't take five minutes"
| go long"
"Telling you the truth
| You can't do it in twenty minutes"
| do it in five, I tell you.''
"Betcher $40 you can't"
,'You don't know what you are talking
about"
We'll, I'm betting you $40 you can't do it."
I'm fifteen minutes?"
eyes, but remember, mean no nalf way hair
ness''
I'm take your betr' exclaimed the barber,
| covering the granger's money and Selling pair
| OF clippers. The cold steel instrument was
| placed at the base of the Hoosier's brain, and
| when time" was called by the bootback there
was whiz and zip that nearly threw the
granger out of the chair belt of hair, hemi
| Spherical in shape, rolled off the Uranium and
| fell upon the floor. Another whiz and zip and
great strip of hair fell off near the right ear.
| The clippers were blowing through the scalp
lock when the granger, with bulging eyes, ex-
| claimed
Hold on tharl What the blazes areyou do
ingYn
Winning that $10," replied the barber, send
| ing the clippers around the left ear.
| Let me see watcher're dom behind thar"
| small Tvs MIA
and another in. front of him. When he beheld
| the two bare avenues running down the back of
| his head be yelled excitedly:
| That's not fair; that's no goi''
| What's no go?' asked the barber.
Cutting a fellers hair with jack plane
You'll win the money, stranger, butcher played
| roots on me. Now shave her all around SO she'll
| agree"
| The job was done in four minutes and twenty
| seconds, and the granger went out and nearly
| froze to death on the corner.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09
a Leap Never Made.

From the Montgomery Advertiser Den1)
And now they are putting forward Chauncey
Depew as man who can carry New York for
the Republicans in 1888. From railroad presi-
dent to President of the United States is leap
no man has ever made or ever will make. The
Democrats couldn't ask an easier thing than to
beat railroad magnate
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

One hundred Hungarians, who are on
strike at the Mount Pleasant, Pa, coke
works, have purchased tickets and will re-
turn to Hungary They think the strike
viii last several months, and that in the
meantime they can live more cheaply in
Hungary than in this country. If the strike
should end suddenly they will probably
wish that they had remained on this side of
the Atlantic.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

path was billed TO sing in Baltimore on
FRIDAY night Of last week, but at the last
moment her engagement was Cancelled
owing to the heat and consequent fatigue
endured by the prima donna when she ap-
peared IN Washington. 1t is said in Balti-
more that the true reason for her failure TO
snug was the small advance sale Of seats.
ABOUT $1,000 was realized, while Patti re-
q'ires $4,000 for each performance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

When Miser Paine, of New York, died he
left a fortune approximating $1,000, 900.
Before his death he called in three witnesses,
TO whom it is said he stated that his will had
been stolen. John H. Wardwell, of Bristol,
r. l., claimed to be Paine's sole heir under
will which the latter failed to sign.
Others set up counter claim, and the
courts were called on to decide the dispute.
A few days ago Wardwell died, leaving his
wife in destitute circumstances. If his
claim is not allowed, it is supposed that her
relatives, who are wealthy, will provide fol.
her. Relatives of Wardwell live in this
State
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

The Pittsburg Post prints interviews with
all the Democratic members of the Penn
sylvania Legislature, showing that out of a
total of seventy-one President Cleveland
has fifty supporters for a second term.
Editorially the Post says that the Pennsyl-
vania delegation in next years convention
will unquestionably be for Cleveland.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

When European powers attempt to Dor
row money war scare is the result. When
Ohio attempts to borrow money it simply
means that her Republican State admins
tration ought to give place to one that is
Democratic.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

Johns. Wise, of Virginia, says that his
State will break loose from the solid South
provided he is on the tail end of the Repub-
lican national ticket. Evidently the sting
If Wise's Vice Presidential bee has unsettled
his mind
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

1t is stated that the immense mass of gran
ite and marble known as the Washington
monument, expands and contracts at reg
ular intervals. Perhaps the expansion is
due to pride on account of the greatness Of
the people of the Union, and the contraction
to shame on account of the littleness of some
of their political REPRESENTATIVES.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-09

Ex-Secretary of War Robert T. Lincoln
says that he goes to church with his children
in order to set them good example. He
may therefore be rated as a reformed Re
publican