The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-12-01
Mn. AND MRS. sowsER.

Mr.. AND MRS. BoVvoER.
Tho Old Man Decides 70 Become an
Orator.
From the Detroit Free Press.
Ihope the public has not conceived
the idea that Mr.. Browser and are
constantly quarrelina. or that he is q
failure as q husband. No family IL
happier than ours, and Mr.. Browser
is one OF the best husbands in the
world. He is simply q little bit
queer. That is, We haven't been mar
ried quite long enough for me to tone
him down. Like many other young
husbands, he wears . much larger hat
now than he viii q couple of years
hence, but this is q fault rather than
an evil. The other evening he came
home in state of excitement, prone.
naded around the house with his nose
in the air for q while, and then in.
quired: ..a w.
"Did those books come up, Mrs.
Browser?"
'There was q pakaee came up.
Have you been getting another batch
of useless books"
"All books are useless to some peo-
pie, Mrs. Bowser! Hyou werelike some
wives I know of you'd encourage your
husband instead of insulting him."
"Well, I shall be glad to have you
read every evening. History or poll
tice?'
"Neither. They are works on ora
tary."
"What?'
"Mrs. Bowser, have been advised
by my many friends to take a few les.
sons III elocution and delivery, and to
then accept some of the numerous in.
vitations rendered me to address this
or that society or organization"
| Richard Moses Bowser, you can't
be in earnest"
''That's it! Yell out at the top of
your voice and tell everybody in De-
troit that my name is Richard Moses!
T.
Why shouldn't I pluck the laurels
from the field of oratory? If some
people are satisfied to grovel in the
dust they needn't try to prevent others
from soaring to the Clouds"
But you have no presence-no
II haven't, Ell? was present
enough, and made myself pretty well
understood when I asked your hand
in marriage! You don't know me,
Mrs. Bowser. See here!''
And he drew himself up to his full
height, which is trife over FIVE feet,
swelled his stomach out, and as he
lifted himself up on his toes, he waived
his arm and began:
"Gentlemen may cry peace, peace!
but there is no peace. The next gale
which sweeps from the north will bring
us the clash of arms"
eyes, Mr.. Bowser, but your voice is
ss9ueaky, and you are very, very short.
Please give it up. l should feel awful
ly bad if you made failure"
"Squeaky voice! Very, very short!
Make q failure! Mrs. Bowser, You
want to choke me of, but you can't
do it! You will yet be deafened by the
plan dts of the multitude who cheer
my oratory."
He had five or six books ofspeeches,
dialogues and lessons in preparatory
greatness, and as soon as supper was
over he locked himself in the library
and began. He was still going when 1
went to bed, and at midnight was
awakened to see him before the glass
on the dresser, and to hear him say.
ing:
II tell you, gentlemen, that the bull
warks of American liberty are totter-
ing to their foundations. A few more
such acts as these and-a few more
a few more-a few more such acts as
49,
IF you wake up the baby he may
have cramps" said.
Mr.. Bowser was so indignant that
he would not utter O word in reply,
nor did lie address me till after dinner
next day. He continued his labor for
q week or ten days, ranging in his
bursts of oratory from 1.-THE Dying
Child" to "An Appeal for Liberty"
Then. from what l could overhear,
made up my mind that he was pre-
pairing an address for q special occa-
sion. He couldn't keep the news to him.
self, but soon informed me that he was
soon to address the Young Mems Lib
erty club.
''Mr. Bowser, please give it up. If
you should make a failure of it you
would feel far
"Make a failure of it! Mrs. Bowser,
you don't know me! Just attend to
painting your old pottery and drum
ming on that piano, and will take
care OF myself"
l pity the poor man when look
back over those days. He wrote and
rewrote. think he prepared as many
as six or seven addresses before he got
one to suit, and he spent at least
fourteen hours per day trying to COM
NIT it to memory. He looked upon
me as his enemy, and refused to have
any further conversation on the SUBJ
ject until the day of the evening he
was to speak. Then. being apparently
do you think my voice has i'm
proved?"
II hope it has"
There you go? Do your very best
to discourage mel"
"Mr. Bowser, can't 1 prevail upon
you to give up this idea OF making an
address to.nisht?"
"Never! If can succeed with my
wife seeking to drag me down the hon
or will be all the greater"
At midnight they brought Mr.. Bow
ser home in hack. He was in a nerv.
Gus chill. He went upon the plat
form to deliver his address, and be-
gan:
"FELLow CTlzENs:-Let me assure
you that I highly appreciate the great
honor paid me by this club in select