The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-21
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE cultivated smile IS one of the latest fea-
lures of Eastern society. II is imported from
Kentucky, and has a decidedly Bourbon flavor.
Exchange.
SPRING in Greenland does not open until June
l. They call it spring then because barrel of
whisky left out of doors does not freeze more
than half way through. Detroit Free Press.
Mrs NoUvEAU RIcHE-Aw, yes, that's very
pretty, but l don't like the title Common
Prayer" Haven't you-aw-any other kind: l
don't care how much have to pay.-Rdrper'S
BdzOg
MARIE" said fashionably dressed woman
from the porch of the Grand Union Hotel at
Saratoga to her French bonne; ,'Oqi, madame"
replied Marie. You mustn't let Lulu run So
The poor child viii git all het up''-Hdrper's
BGzdr.
'MR. WALKER" said the clerk, 'the 1ac.
prints at the remnant counter are going fast
and are about sold out
"All right, III attend to il. Mr.. Anawan, cut
lot more of those &c. prints into remnants and
send them over to the bargain counter. -
Brooklyn Eagle.
MARY HoDGEs, of Elton, England, who reached
her Tooth birthday recently, drinks rum and is
an inveterate smoker Of tobacco" This para
graph should be suppressed before somebody
undertakes to draw a lesson from it. 1t is be-
lieved that she wouldn't have been 30 years old
to-day if she had smoked cigarettes instead of
INSTRUMENTATION Herald.
Mr. Brown, your dog has broken his chain
and has bitten your neighbor's little boy"
w hat that Smith brat:''
mo, the Jones boy
"Oh, you don't know how you frightened me-
That Smith boy is as full of scrofula as an egg
is full of meat would not have anything hap
pen TO that dog for money."-BostoR Tran
script.
ToMxY-Does, your mother allow you to kiss
the nurse girig''
Johnny-O, 1 guess she don't care. Does
yours:
TOMMY don't think she does. never asked
her, but you'd died TO hear her lay down the
law to pa when she saw him do it one day, an
she lets him do lots o. things she wouldn't let
me. "-Pitts6urg Dispatch.
''wHo is that gentleman-the one who is so
extensively dressed
''Oh, that is Mr. Graphite. the great artist =
Artist: always supposed that artists were
shabby in their dress - ''Ha. ha! Very good!
But he's not one of that kind, you know. He
has all he can do drawing pictures for soap ad-
nabob. boston Transcript.
''SHE's peerlessmare suid the man from the
East;
''She came from beyoad the brine;
But I'll trade you mine Arabian for
Your share in the Arabian mine"
80 IT'S bargain. said the Nevada man.
And he decided then and there,
His mining share to the tenderfoot
In trade for the shining mare.
Chicago Tribute,
ScHooLTEAcHER-Yo boy was not in school
Omaha mani gave up sending him He
won't study.
Have you set him to work."
mo; he's too lazy to work"
But, my dear sir, what will he do for living
| when he grows up.'
80, don't worry about that He can be a
politician or walking delegate. '-OD.ahG
| World.
| PHILADELPHIA MAN lat a social seance)-The
curse of poetry is poverty; it is at once the in
| spiration and the ban. Think how many noble
| thoughts have been crushed with tine pangs of
| hunger 1t is true some are successful. and
| after long years of bitterness they rise above
| th-er-earth and soar up to the-that is-er-
| you catch my meaning.
| Boston Girl-perfecty. You mean they get
| there with both feet. l have known several
| such cases-Phttddelphtd Gail.
| MISSING PoINT.-
''You men are so lucky fair maiden said,
Discussing the question of dress;
| You're ne'er burdened with petticoats, corsets
| OF shawlS,
| Which to US are source of distress"
Eyes, know" said the youth, who waiting
| had been
An argument ready to seize;
! What you've said is all true, yet there's one
| point you miss
| Your pants never bag at the knees"
| Champion City Times