Smyrna times., 1887-06-01
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser.
BY MRS. BOwsER.

BY MRS. BOWsER.
Well, I'm going to have a garden
this spring." announced Mr.. BOwser as
he entered the house the other day.
"YOu-you can't mean it,
" Mrs. BOwser, when l say I'm going
to have a garden don't want to be un-
derstoOd as meaning that I'm going to
have brick yard"
But you remember last year?"
Certainly l remember last year.
What oft? ! set out to make garden
and you and the dog and the neighbor's
hens and a hailstOrm and the bugs beat
me out of it."
Well, OF course, you may do as you
think best, but I'm sorry to see the
yard all torn up for nothing"
For nothing! That's just like YOU I!
No matter what enterprise l have on
hand you always try to discourage me.
You are a nice help-meet, you are
might as we'll sit down and wait for the
poor-house. l shall begin on the gar
tomorrow"
A year ago he came rushing into the
house one spring day with some seeds
which some one had given him, and
announced that he was going to have a
garden. Most of our back ward is in
the shade, and no one of sense would
expect anything to grow there, but Mr..
Bowser had it spaded up and made
into beds, and his enthusiasm was Won
derful
Don't want garden, eh!" he
chuckled, as he brought me to the pack
door to survey the beds. Does this
remind you Of old times on the farm ?'
Yes, blR I'm afraid the soil will
be too cold"
Oh, you are Perhaps you have
been reading up on soils, and are pre-
pairing series of articles for some agri
cultural paper! You can 20 in and at
| tend to your rick rack. ="
But you can warm the soil by run
ming steam pipes under it, and I dom
think the cost would he over 81. 500 =
If hadn't shut the door think Mr.
Bowser would have hurled the spade
at me in his sudden anger, but after q
fe% minutes spent in reelection he be-
| gan measuring back and forth anC
sticking stakes, and he afterwards
] e+Nh INV ANA tSNO " hlC III a uUISb Oh COIL
| tidence that he intended to try hot
bricks at five feet apart He made 9
list of the stuff he put into the ground
There were pumpkin, squash, cucum.
Der, watermelon, cantelOpe and turniI
seeds, and he put in some seed onions
made a bed of lettuce, and his work
was done for the time. He had broken
three pairs of suspenders beyond re.
pair, spoiled two pairs of pantalOons
ripped three shirts down the back, and
lost $50 gold piece in the dirt, but he
was happy and enthusiastic.
Just think, Mrs. BOwster :" he ex
claimed as he waved his hand over hi!
garden, a" of walking out and cullins
your own vegetables, grown on you
own land, and covered with the dews
fresh from heaven !"
And covered with our own worm,
and bugs, l suppose ~
"There you are You'd die if vol
couldn't say something mean! l useC
to wonder why some families didn't ge
along better, but now l see through
the mystery"
Has anything sprOuted yet ?"
None of your business Don't yOu
even look over my garden If l raist
$4,000 big, luscious melons, you shan'l
even have piece of rind !'
The next week he brought home two
dozen tomato plants and set them out
While he was down town | went out
to look at them, and when he returned
asked him if he was certain They
were tomato plants.
/ ~, I oarfofr that I Z, -, al; l
moment !" he rOared. Perhaps have
travelled this country from Maine tC
Texas to be taken in by farmer"
"Well, hope they'll turn out to be
tomato plants, but they look to me
! like"-
"Bosh Most anything looks queer
to a cross-eyed woman !'
am satisfied that Mr.. BOwser used
seeds enough on that garden to plant
it five deep. Whatever he could hear
of he got, and whatever he brought
home went into the ground before he
could rest. His tomato plants didn't dc
do well. They got the liver complaint
and turned yellow, and got malaria and
shivered all day long, and one afternoon
he brought friend up to see what allied
them. The man pulled up one by the
roots, put it to his nose for a second
and then laughed
"Bowser, that's a potato-stalk, OIL
Pm fool !"
"No!"
l heard it all but never let on. In
June some of the things began tC
sprOut, and our garden was the talk oil
the neighhorhood. There were wheat
oats, lettuce, barley, clover, onions
brOOm-corn, water-melons, pig-weeds
and beets all coming up together, and
men hung over the fence and laughed
till they cried. Mr.. Bowser treated
the subject with such q lofty air that
asked no questions, but one day when
returned to find the garden gone, and
the sods restored.
Wasn't it success, darling ?"
asked that evening.
Wasn't what a success ?"
The garden, of COURSE"
Gould a garden be a success with
people throwing hot water and hair-Oi
bottle at every sprOut that showed its
head above ground? Mrs. BOwser
you were maliciouly determined that
should not have a garden, and you've
triumphed for the hour, but beware
It's a long road that has no turn l'-
Detroit Free Press.
-.-ass---
Mamma" said a little three yea
old, "papa says you weren't pretty