The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-05-07
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

England may be "mistress of the
C's," but she has never yet been able
to fairly master the H's.-Boston Ga
zette.
you are an insolent puppy, sir.
There's only one thing that keeps mo
from giving you an adequate thrash
ing" "Ah, indeed! And what is
thatP" "My cowardice. sir. "-Phiia-
delphia Call.
"A local optician AYERS that "the
education of the eye is necessary even
to sclf-support. That is, we suppose,
it keeps the pupil under the lash until
it is able to say, 'I-(eye) browse for
myself"
Nautical Husband Gokingly)-O.
I'm the mainstay of the family Wife
Yes, and the jibboom and the-and
the Small boy (from experience.
-..And the spanker, too, mamma"
"A very old lady on her death-bed,
in penitential mood, said: 81 have
been great sinner more than eighty
years, and didn't know it," An old
darkey women who had lived with her
knowed it all the time "-Interior.
-Cooing and Billing
To-day, oh girl, the man you love,
Calls you his bird, his duck, his dove;
But when your bonnet bill he'll scan.
He'll shrek, 20, what pelican!"
-Burdette.
-"Pardon me, sir" he said politely,
"but it strikes me somewhat odd that
so well-dressed a man as you are should
wear such Il shocking pair OF shoes.
Are you doing it on wager?" mo,
SIR" was the reply, II am shoe
maker."-N. Y. Sam
Eyer by Dinny had foine wake.
didn't he, Mrs. Moorphy9" "Indade
an he did that, Mrs O'Hoolihan." ut
wor proud day for yez." "Yis. But
it'll always be one of the regrets av my
loife that Dinny couldn't have lived to
see it. 'Twould have done his heart
good, 50 it would. "-Mcrchant Traveller.
"A little boy was recently taken to
the barber's shop to have his hair cut
for the first time. AS the barber cut
and clipped the little fellow seemed to
be considerably alarmed. for he sud-
deuly said in anxious tones. You'll
leave enough to grow, won't you.
misterp'
What perfect lady that Mrs.
Cobwigger is!' remarked the grocer.
.'She comes in here and leaves big
order every day and never asks the
price of any thing" mo wonder she
never troubles herself about the price,"
returned Mrs. Pugwash. "And why
not?" asked the grocer. slightly pux-
zled. 'Is she so rich?" mo-" was
the sapient reply, "but she neverintends
to pay"
Omaha Woman-''Did you ever!
People are talking of growing flax for
fuel" Omaha Man--"Yes, l noticed
that. 1t is said to. have more heating
power than coal" "Why, come to
think, it is good plan-a splendid
plan. There won't be any trouble with
chimneys them" "Trouble with chim-
neys?" mo. You know how beauti-
fully a fiaxseed poultice draws. ~
Omaha World.
1t is singular, the queer appreci.
alton Of dramatic situations that some
people have. Here are couple pf in
cidcnts connected with the performance
of "Rome0 and Juliet" by the Mather
company in this city few weeks ago:
Two ladies passing out after the play
had ended, were discussing the merits
Of the acting, and so forth, when one
Of them said, II think 1t would have
been better to have let em married.
The play wouldn't end so gloomy"
Still another woman remarked that IL
WAS ~ pity Shakespeare didn't have
those two families reconciled. There
was such = good chance. s."-HarIford
! Post.