Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-06
BRIGHT BITS,

IT is the empty heart that aches. The head
Is dnerenl.-Seto OrEsdHS PicdgHRe.
WHERE 10 the ideal wlre?" asks a promi
mont lecturer. In the cellar splitting kind
ing, most likely. -fhiddefpht4 eau.
WHY should not women he haugedy" asks
| Henry Ward Beechsr. What? AL Of them
shame on you, Mr.. Beecher.-NetO YofA
| Gy1ohio.
DUDE--What are you looking at me tha
way I.rY DO you think I'm a fool?
Darkeeper-Oh. no: | never Judge people
oy thelr looks. Appearances are deceitful.-
| 7ecdS SJtiRgS.
HE--fou don't sing or nlav? Then. pre-.
sumo, you write or paint?
ohe-O, no; Pm like the young men wC
meet IN society," simply SIT around and try
" look lhlelllgent.-Hdtp RS Bdsdr.
MRS. RAMS nephew did not get through a
| college examination. "He was all right" hi.
aunt said, las long as he was writing the
answers TO printed questions, bue he failed
"hen IL came to the vice versy." -Punch.
WHO is the god of battlesp" asked a teacher
Of the class in mythology" Mar" answered
! little Johnnie Henpeck. "Mars. YOU mean
Johnnle," corrected the teacher. No. / don't
| Critic,
HEARD IN society: Hell be gyour pardon
mise, out don't admire your last name?
ohe-.0reat heavens, man. haven't done
everything In my power 10 change il? Must
knock man down with d club WdShiag-
ton Critic,
'sDoN'T you think" said Mrs. Keeper, "that
When Adam realized the vSstness Of the world
into winch he mad been ushered he must have
had great deal on HIS mind?" well" re-
sponded Mrs. Blunt, from the photograph
have seen of him, should say that whatever
ne did have on must have been on his mind"
The Jadge.
"YOU know scene occurs in Hamlet, in
winch E0nnlnnE not ha 70
reading, ana receives the reply, Words,
words, words.'" said q literary traveller 10 a
friend.
Yes"
"WeII. what Won s,lnnose 5ou,et xas road
lngp"
THE Congressional Record. / reckon
Merchant ItGosIer.
NOW, Young lady, you may take the stand,''
sald the lawyer IN case in one Of The JUS
Jlces' courts the other day.
Yes, SIR" she replied, with beaming
smile.
THAT does me upy' whispered a man on
she's 40 years old, but the sugar on that law
yer's tongue viii cost me $50 for millinery be-
lore elaY "-DetrOit Free Press.
A GUEST who was walking out OF Chicago
motel lew mornings ago absorbed in a news
paper he had just bought stumbled and care
near railing over somebody who was down on
the floor.
''HelIo! what's thisP' he exclaimed, hastily,
as he recovered himself.
Pm scrublady, eir?" replied bedrag-
sled but proud female, who rose TO a kneei-
ing posture, scrubblng brush in hand, and
looked at MIN wilma whitening glance.-Chi-
cd0O Tribune.
COUNTRYdAN Tin Messrs Stonepath's ware
roomsl-How much is that pianner, Mister?
Clerk-Five hundred and twenty five dol
lars.
ountryman-Thunderati Is there q
foldIn' bed inside of il?
Clerk-No, that's a combination we don't
make.
Countryman tpositively)--Well, 1 wouldn't
think OF payin' any such money jest for a
planner. IL you had ZEN with 70 DIM beds,
we might make a decker. "-Pack.
BOBBY 10 younR Featherlyl-Wm you
please pass me the cake basket, Mr. Feath-
erly?
Mamma-No. Bobby, you cannot have any
more cake.
Bobby-Why not, ma?
Mamma-Becsuse | have said no. You will
have to take no Tor an answer.
Bobby resignedly)-Well, Pm no worse of
than Mr.. Featherly.
Mr., Fealherly tamusedl How so, Bobby
Bobby-Si-ter Clara says you will have to
take no for an answer.-NetO York Sun.