Morning journal and courier., 1887-02-22
FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

Aunt-When are you going to have dinner
to-day, Dolly?
Doily-When you've gone, auntie, mamma
said.-Der Floh.
The best reason for keeping ones temper
is found in the fact that when man loses
his temper someone else finds it and is hurt
by it.-New Orleans Picayune.
''Chestnutsi'' yelled several persons in the
gallery at the minstrel show. ''Ihat's right,
Gentlemen responded Bones. eff you
don't get what you want ask for it. Pitts
burg Dispatch.
When young man in the Aleutian Islands
goes to see his girl in the evening the parents
of the girl thoughtfully retire to another
compartment of the ice house, leaving a
burning e-.ndle with the lovers. Do they
let the candle burns Not much; they prompt
ly blow it out and eat it between them
New York Tribune.
nuts in preparation for Mrs. Blanks little
dinner party to be held during the evening,
en- ters with few badly cracked nuts upon q
plate)-Ah, indade, Missus Blank, Oi'll lose
me place before Oh break me tath a crackin'
any more of thin nuts. Ne jaws all lame
now, it is. SO it is.
'sNo, George she said, 'tI cannot marry
but cannot be your wife" George hesi-
tated. tClare, he said brokenly, "will YOU
grant me one favor before I go away forev-
ers" eyes, George" she replied, kindly.
esWhat is it?" fPlease put your refusal
down on paper. I'll feel safer"
Latin class, stand up. 'tMr. Jellaby, why
is dry potato better when cooked than a
soggy ones'' ''Not prepared sir" Mr..
JenEinss" because it is melior" Jenkins
marked 1907 ''Mr. Sampson, why does
juicy piece of meat weigh more when roasted
than dry piece?' Mr.. S.: at doesn't,
sir' "Mr Jennifers'' because, sir. it's
gravior." Correct"
''Who was the wisest man in the vorlds"
asked the teacher. Solomon" replied a
little girl. eyes, Solomon was the wisest
man. But there is One wiser than Solomon;
there is One who knows everything that has
ever been, or is, or ever will be, who knows
everything. Who is thatr' And the tall,
good boy at the head of the class thought
moment and said, f'The London correspond
ent of New York paper" He got three
blue Enthusiastically Eagle
little Virginia darkey named Cyrus had
an older brother, Cassius, who had spent q
winter in Washington in swell society, and
when he returned home he set himself up as
a teacher to his less cultured family. One
day at the table Cyrus said to him: ''Gimme
some 'lasses, Cash. ''You mustn't say
1asses, Cy," corrected Cassius; ''you must
say molasses." "Ugh!" grunted Cyrus;
''hOW'S gWln6 Ter say mo 'laSSeS, Wnen L
hain't had none yit."-Washingto Critic.
'.You ought to be ashamed of yourself, :"
said Uncle Thomas to his niece Hattie, who
sat dawdling over the latest romance ;'doing
nothing all day long. The paper here tells
of woman 101 years old, who knits pair
of stockings every day besides attending to
her household duties" ''Does she, Uncle
Thomass Well, when I begin my second
century perhaps may go into the stocking
industry. During my first hundred years l
prefer something more exciting. Boston
Transcript.
'sDid father injure your feelings last night
when he asked you out in the hall9' said a
fair damse1 of G street to a clerk in a
Seventh street dry goods store. eyes" he
replied, in bitter revengeful tones, ''but
can forgive him for that for your sake,
dear" FFThen you will come again?" she
asked hopefully and brightly. eyes, love,
will come again" FWhen, Henry, when?'
''When your pa is in the cold, cold ground,
Annie" :'No sooner than thata' she asked,
with tears in her eyes, "We1," he said,
forgivingly, 'tfor your sake, I might be in
duced to come to his funeral. Washington
Critic.