Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-08-18
The NATIONAL GAME.
What Afs. AeDaRy IAinls e Sess.siA
Baseball

THE NATIONAL GAME.
Bass-BalI
There Is one lady in Indianapolis
! who will probably never become an en-
thusiastic admirer of our National
game.
The individual to whom refer is
Mrs. McDudy. had the misfortune
to occupy a seat adjoining hers during
the opening game between the Dctroits
and the home club. and the following
were the remarks on the occasion re-
ferred to:
Il don't see why some women can't
understand baseball. II there is any
thing about it that can't sec through
it will lie strange" she said to her
husband. who are those big fellows
over there?'
..Why, the big FOUR Of course. 81
said he.
%. yes. how stupid l am. l sup
pose that is Jay Gould watching the
big four so closely. Didn't he say 'one
strike' He is responsible for those
dreadful strikes. isn't he? Do you
think the men will strike to-day?"
Great heavens! woman, are you
crazy? That is the umpire. Can't you
keep quiet and watch the game?" he
growlcd.
Certainly l WILL" she said. ..But
where is the Detroit team? haven't
seen a team to-day any different from
Indianapolis horses Do they bring
them right out on the grounds? l
should think they would get frightened
in such crowd as this and kick and
cut mp awfully. DO You think they
will?''
ut is possible" he answered re-
signedly. .'There are some kicking
teams"
Il am so glad am here ont of dan
ger. What did that man do then?''
..Struck foul --'
Struck poor, innocent fowl!
The hateful thing! l didn't see any
fowl. What kind was it? What are
they cheering for?'
Thompson caught any."
'.Now, Mr.. McDuffy. don't sit there
and tell me you could sec any thing SO
small as a fly at this distance. What
do they want to stop in game Of
baseball to catch flies for. any way?
Do tell me what that man is acting so
silly about?"
Trying to steal base"
1.-THE wicked thief! Where is the
base?"
Over there" explained McDuffy.
THAT is the first base, that other the
second, and this one, nearest, the
third"
care they. indeed. and that is the So
prano in the middle, SUPPOSED"
"Ah. ves." grosned McDuffy, you're
getting it down fine
"Sce. that naughty man has knocked
the ball clean out Of sight Wasn't
that mean! Don't you suppose they'll
discharge him? What are they cheer
ing for now? Making a home run?
Well, should think he would, and
stay there, too, after such an exhibit
ton of temper. What! Did You say they
were going TO wLitcwash them? Do
they just whitcwash them all over
face and all7'
"Ah,' said McDuffy, savagely,
you've got It now. That's the way
they fix them. and afterwards cal
Gimme them. and frcsco them, and
dodo them, and put OF French roofs.
How proud l am of you. Mrs McDutfy.
All yor need is whitewash-brush to
be full fedged member of the Lime
Kiln club"
''Eow funny You are. Mr.. McDuffy.
Did that man say t..ey were giving the
visitors goose eggs? Now. what do they
want with goose eggs in game of
ball? It's getting worse and worse.
I don't see what people go crazy over
baseball for. any how. l understand
the game as far as that is concerned.
but there is nothing in it. If there is
any thing smart in bringing out thou
sands of people to watch them catch
flies, and try to steal a base. and goose
eggs, and muffs. and crack pitchers.
and the Lord knows what else-I can't
see it. The next thing they viii be bring
ing in that team, and they'll Kill some
body. and don't propose to stay to
see it Ii you'll just see me to the car
riagc. Mr.. McDufy. I'll go home. I've
had all the baseball l want"
The Disguised lady departed. to the
evident satisfaction of her husband.
who soon returned to enjoy the re-
maintler of the game in peace.-De-
tyoH Free Press.