The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-05
BRIGHT BITS.

SAID well known citizen, abiding 10 the
very moderate attendance at the two recent
have struck IL O'Clock. u Toronto Globe.
TIE highest ambition of some people seems
TO be to make themselves disagreeable, for
instance, the man who asks you what time it is,
when he knows you have your watch pawned.-
Lincoln Journal
so, you maintain, professor that children
should never be slapped or whipped
Il do maintain it. The parent who whips his
child is criminal. Happily, my children are
all quiet and obedent. If had a son like
Sniderly's boy I'd break his back. Lincoln
Journal.
FeIENpI Don't cry so, dear. Charley was a
real good husband
Widow know it. l don't believe I'll ever
get any one like him again. Everybody knows
he was so good to me that in common decency
hoo!-Ioun Topics.
Il SEE, . said Mr.. McSlugen, that they have
organized Milk Trust Company in Chicago
"A MIX Trust Company. Well, that IS some
thing like. ] wish they'd organize one here;
and a Beefsteak Trust Company, too. This
thing of being dunned by the butcher is awfully
tiresoIne. Washington Critic.
A CONDEMNED CRIMINAL noticed among the
spectators standing in the front row next to the
guillotine the doctor who takes possession of
the condemned Immediately after the execu-
ton is over for examination purposes. He
bowed politely to him. and saluting him grace
fully by waving his hand 10 him, called out: "A
toqte heure! lin minute at your service
-Pittsburg Chronicle
Bill said the Prince, with some hesitation
Il want to speak to you on rather delicate
subject, and trust you won't be offended"
speak right out, old boy" was Bills hearty
reii9 W!Sis ;,o,,ou
ner and she was wondering if he would mind
her directing the note of invitation TO Soed
Canine. "-NeV York sun.
You're LADY lat church Extraordinarily. Mr..
Featherly, must ask you to excuse me: have
eaten so very heartily. and there is limit to
one endurance, you know, even in so good
cause this.
Mr.: Featherly- Quite true Miss Smith, but
still think You might oblige-
Young lady-Oh, well, since you seem so
earnest about it, Mr. Featherly. believe | will
take just one more lobster.-Harper's Bazaar.
A FOOLISH QUEEN Omaha man lin England
That's pretty fair sort of a house. l believe
I'll take that for the season.
Engllshman-'O use? 'Uuse. That's no 'ouse
sir
No house ell? What is it then. stable?"
That $ one of the Queens palaces"
''Oh. | see its empty"
Yes ID stands empty most of the time
Il wonder what rent she wants for it?''
sir" f'''''
"A million pounds, Great Scott. wonder
If she thinks this Los -Angeles.-Omoha World
PRoUD PHlLkDELPHIAN-It was a glorious cele-
bration, wasn't it -
Wife-Indeed IL was, And how thankful we
should be that our ancestors were members of
the first constitutional convention.
More than that. More than that nv dear
They fought for liberty on the field of battle.
They laid all they had on the altar of freedom,
yea, life itself, that we might enjoy the bless
ings of human liberty, but | must hurry down
town"
Why, what S going on onght?''
II want TO find out what candidate Boss Nc
Names N IN Unfa fnr1' IL
World.
YOUNG FORTUNE HUNTER-Ehg What? Do
you mean to say your father has failed:
Miss Beauty--0h, no, not failed: he has paid
up every dollar; but he is no longer rich, you
know.
Noble man! He refused to take advantage
of his creditors. them
Yes. he owes no man a penny, but it will be
a long time before he can retrieve himself He
said however, that if we married next month
as we desired, he could give me a small dowry
but it would be very small, only thirteen hun
dred"
My dear, we'd better wait. Thirteen is an
unlucky number ''--Omdhd World.