Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-04-24
400 MINUTES.
HOW THE BOARDING HOUSE WOMAN PASSES
HRRDAY.
The Life Of an Unfortunate Who has Nothing Use
ful 10 DO-A Cancaturs in Which Many
Lines are Truly Drawn.
Oakland (Cal.) Tribune.

Her husband arises at 6 o'clock, dresses,
swallows hasty breakfast and is in his
office on California street at 100 a. M
5:00-She arises.
8:15-She has found her button-hOok.
S:20-The button-hoOk has performed
its office, and she has carefully placed it
where she will not be able to find it to-
morrow morning.
S:4O-Assisted by the curling tongs and
the gas jet her bangs have been hanged and
her back hair is bandolined to keep her
''scOlding locks" off the region of her
medulla oblongata.
S:425-The last bell for breakfast-like
boots and saddles to the soldier, the last
bell is bustles and wrappers to the board
ing house lady.
S:45-Shall it be the dark red or the
flannel Mother Hubbard? MomentOus
question: moments delay-no time for
thinking now-she who hesitates loses her
breakfast.
S:46-It is the dark red.
S:47-The dining-room. The morning
paper. A glance at the births, deaths, mar
riages, and the society personals. Food
for the days gossip.
S50-Oatmeal mush and the waiter girl.
The latter, loquitOr, "beefsteak, mutton
CHIP, pork chop and sausage"
The lady (cOmplacently designating the
stereotype bill of tare)-Two soft boiled
eggs and cup of chocolate, if you please.
S:55-She has absorbed the fact that
Miss Lucinda Newrich is at Monterey; that
Mrs. Phewclos and daughters have return.
ed from an extended visit to friends in
Petaluma; that the Misses Jingleducats
contemplate trip TO the Sandwich Islands
shortly, chaperOned by Mrs. Sourmash
that Mr.. aud Mrs. Giltedge are in New
York-and half column of equally enter
tanning information, including who was
married and who intends to marry.
Note-None of these people are known
to except through the medium OF the morn
ing paper, but she has read of their move
ments SO often-their names have appeared
so frequently in her favOrite cOlumn-that
she regards them us near and dear friends,
and consequently feels profound interest
in all that pertains to them.
S:56-The eggs and chocolate arrive, and
she reluctantly lays down the paper while
she appeased her appetite. More than
likely she sits upon the journal to prevent
its capture by the other ladies who may be
in the room.
NOte-HOw many journalists realize that
they are sat down upon by some fair board
ing-house lady every morning OF their
lives?
90O-Reading resumed.
905-Eating.
9l0-Reading.
Officiating.
9:2O-Reading.
925-ChOcOlate cold; another cup; still
reading.
9:3O-HOt cakes. Exit.
9:32-A hallway conversation with lel
low-boarder- criticism OF another boarder',
dress at dinner last night, and the fact thai
''they don't give us anything fit to eat in
this house"
9:5O-The morning toilet -lOdies cloth
brown tailor's suit brown straw bonnet
trimmed with velvet and wings; brown
walking jacket; brown gloves; brown
| l6titBtt SdlCuSl' leu pdldSOl
1910 On Broadway.
1O:42-Bows to Il lady friend in a car
riage.
10:45-Shakes hands with friend anC
asks him whether he has heard anything
from Martha and the children lately,
meaning the friends family, of course
murmurs against the hard fate that com
pels her to live in a clearinghouse, anC
passes on.
1O:50-StOps to kiss and converse with {
female friend generally on crowded cross
ing whom she has not seen for two days
What they talk about only woman
| knows.
l1:l5-Sellemlow's dry goods store. She
has the monopoly of the hest-loOking clerk
| in the store He has trOtted from one END
of the establishment To the other at hel
behest, he has climbed every ladder t
every top shelf; he has flung bolt after bolt
of cloth on the counter for her inspection
he is aweary, aweary, aweary. She buys