The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-03-02
THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.

\ GUS tongues than myself The young
man being questioned as to the latepesl
of the hour when home returning, "Whers
have you been until this time ?" replies
"What? love sue l seek awife
a woman, that is like a German clock,
still a repairing; ever out Of frame; and
never going Alright, being a watch; bui
being watch'd that it may still go rightv
The fond parent replies, in order to show
that he also has some knowledge of the
stage, "Fie, fie how hayward is this
foolish love, that, like testy babe, will
scratch the nurse, and presently, all hum.
bled, kiss the rod p The young man EN-
boldened replies, "Why man, she is mine
own; and as rich in having such a jewel,
as twenty seas, if all their sands were
pearl, the water nectar, and the rocks pure
gold" AS the old gent rstires he NUT
tiers to himself, ale is far gone, far gone
and truly in my youth I suffered much
extremity for love; very near this.
Even the tramp as he knocks at the
door and stands for charity, in answer to
your stern looks, assuming a tragic atti
tude breaks forth:
"If ever you have look'd on better days.
II ever been where bells have knoIl'd 10 church;
II ever sat at any good mans feast;
If ever from your eye-lds wip'd tear,
And know what It's to pity and be pitied;
Let genteness my strong enforcement be-
You have heard the heavy man do bust
ness and not wishing to be outrivaled by
such one, exclaim, ''Rogue, hence,
avaunt Vanish like hailstones, go
trudge, plod, away, o. TIL hoof; seek
shelter pack /" The young lovers when
they meet remember loves bright dreams
as pictured ON the boards and gently
Irvine their loving arms in fond embrace,
and as heart responds to heart in rapid
beat, he says, "Wouldst thou have me
paint the home could love fulfl its wish,
this hand would lead thee, listen, deep
vale shut out from the rude world by AL
pine hills.' She interrupts him with
aye, but harken, sir; though the cam
e,eon love can feed on the air, / am one
that am nourished by my victuals, and
would fain have meat" And together
they visit some neighboring restaurant
and continue the story over ten cent
bowl OF oyster soup.
Even the Council Chamber, those Of the
city fathers, who have, like the press, en-
joyed the entertainments free, forgot
themselves and imagine they fill the posi-
ton of Roman Senator, and eie they
are aware break forth, "Most potent,
grave and reverend seignors, can Roman
senate long debate which of the two tC
choose, gas or gasoline ?"
A number of lads meet together and
the first salutation is, "Mine host, clap tt
the doors; watch to night, pray to'mor
row. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold
all the titles of good fellowship come u
you'll What, shall we be merry? Shall WI
have a play extempore r. Another says
''See your guests approach; address your
self to entertain them sprightly, and lett
be red with mirth.'' ''Lets play Damon
and Pythias, will be Damon and yor
be Lucullas." Damon-"By my soul tht
sun is rushing down the west.' Lucullas--
"WelI let her rush." Mine host rushei
from behind the rude structure which
separates them and 10 sentorian voice ex
claims, "The iron tongue of midnight
hath tolled twelve" T" IT'S now the very
witching hour of night, when grave yards
yawn;" "Let there be no noise made, my
gentle friends Tor by st. Paul I'll make
corpse of him who dares to disobey.'
Truly "All the worlds stage and mer
and women merely actors"
Death bed scenes, even on the stage,
are not generally intended to be laugha.
ble yet there are those in our city who
can see something funny just at the mo-
ment when nearly every one else is moved
to tears There is little satisfaction fol
those who strive their best to give reality
to play and to those who enjoy such
acting, If, at the most important part
both are to be interrupted by some ignor'
anus, giving vent to untimely remark OIL
making some funny noise and thus spot
what otherwise would have been a credit
to the players and source of gratifsca-
ton to the listeners. There must be some
way to stop the unpleasant noise in the
back part of the public ball at times Of
performances, or the better class Of en-
terta inment goers will remain at home
1t is not smartness on the part of those
who thus interrupt and mar the pleasure
Of nine.tenths Of an audience. 1t is the
unmasking of ignorance in its very worst
form. There are times when such things
might be justiiiable, for instance when
the play was a humbug, but even then II
is not always best to allow too much free
dom, as there is no knowing how far it
may lead and what might result from it
If one officer cannot stop it there
ought to be ons for every seat and the
slightest breach of good manners should
be punished by removal from the ha!
and If necessary foe for disturbing thu
peace. In all the larger cities they have
no trouble in preserving order and out
man generally does it. In our churches
people do not misbs have; il they do, it il
not continuous, stop is put to it at once
Why then should an audience that pay
the price of admission, be deprived Of thu
very best parts Of the performance by thu
deviltry of few who chance to be among
the number 1t is burning shame and {
reproach upon onr city that such things
nightly happen.
On Church street, near Main, there is .
piece of stone pavement which for ths
convenience and comfort Of pedestrians,
should be removed and replaced with
bricks or some other substance, which
would be equally as pleasant. A street
that is SO much used as Church, should
shogld have decent sidewalks Their