Morning journal and courier., 1887-02-10
POOLING.

POOLING. 1T wouldn't be fool, if were you," said
 Jones to friend eff you were me you wouldn't be fool" was the reply.-The | Judge.
 Hotel porter (to gentleman in the wash
 room)-"Is yo' guest ob de hotel, sira' 1 Gentleman (paying $4 day)-"Guesta No, I'm a victim. Puck.
 Passenger-''Do you chew tobacco,
 driver?" Driver-sI do; an I chew me own" Passenger-''That's all right. was going to offer you some of mine.h Small girl-'sMa, what are the tidesa Do | they grow like strawberriesT' Mother ''Tides grow? What nonsensel' Small girl ''Well, what does our minister mean when | he keeps talking about scanning the tide2" Burlington Free Press.
 Gland painted coal scuttles have made | their appearance in New York" Very es l thetic, no doubt; but when man goes into | @ dark cellar with hand-painted coal scuttle ! and collides with post or bumps his head l against a joist his language is apt to be as | lurid and vigorous as if the scuttle was sim | ply daubed with coal tar by machinery Norristown Herald.
 German Joke.-tsHerr Zfpferl, why is it | that you every now and then put a small l com on the table?" 'tOh, that is on account of bad habit of mine. You see, want to | cure myself of bad habit of using so many l foreign words in conversation, so l fine my self five pfennigs every time I use one" /" "Then, suppose you contribute the sum for some charitable purpose" "Not muchi l That money pays for my beer before I go I home."
 1 Doctor X- arrived at the club the oth- | CT day in 8 furious temper. 'tAh! the | swindler the rascal" he exclaimed as he l stormed around HWhat in the world is the
 matter, doctor?' inquired one of his friends. l "Why, stranger, parbleu, who called me
 last month to his hotel took care of him | for fortnight and now the scoundrel has
 gone away without paying me for curing hlm." ''Well, what is the odds, doctor? It | is only just compensation. Just think of | the number of patients in the different countries who have paid you without bein g
 cured. ."-New York Graphic. 1 Getting Even with Smith-Jones, who is
 reading the morning paper-'I declare, | funeral" "You don't have to go, do you2'
 asked Mrs. Jones. "Yes, I have to go to | Smiths funeral, for he did as much for me.
 He was kind enough to attend my funeral. 1 and shall always be grateful to him for 1t. /" l ''What stuff is that? How could he attend 1 your funeral?' ''It's the simplest thing in the l world. Last summer I didn't die precisely, but another man named Jones did. Smith | thought it was my funeral and went to it. | Now, Smith has died, and am going to get
 even with him. .'-Texas Siftings. 1 A little squatty man with gray hair was
 sitting in the corner of a crowded North | Clark street car last Sunday night. At South Water street comedy girl entered the vehi- | cle. Not one of the dozen male passengers offered to give her seat. She stood like a stork until the bridge was passed, and then
 she ricocheted her way to the corner where l the little squatty man was sitting and threw
 herself squarely upon his lap. Here she sat l quite contentedly until Division street was
 reached, when she signalled the conductor to | stop the car. As she rose to take her leave l she turned to the little squatty man and | said, 'sI've enjoyed my ride very much. l hope have not made you tired" "Not in 1 the least," replied the old man, as he doffed | his beaver. F'I'll be in the same place next 1 Sunday night. ."-Chicago Rambler. HURRAH SLIDE. The rinktum has vanished. The skatum has fled; The rollum is banished, The wheelum is dead, Tobogs now the daisy That now rules the day; Let's tobog till we're crazy,