Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1887-06-27
Temperance legislature is uphill busi-
ness in NnVE Nnrt- Srnre

Temperance legislature is uphill busi-
ness in New York state.
Positive, wait: comparative, waiter
superlative, do it yourself if you want it
done.
1t is bad enough to De q dude, but it is
a good deal worse to have to associate
with one.
A man named Baby has opened a thea
tire in New York with great success. A
baby show is always attractive.
You and Jones don't seem to be as
thick as you used to be. Does he owe
you any money!" No. He wants to. .
The caIIiope belonging to leading cir
Gus has been totally destroyed in II west
ern railroad wreck. Let the good work
90 on.
one of the banners that waved in hon
or of the Queens recent visit to East
London bore the cOuplet, welcome our
Queen, so seldom seen"
1t Is easy for great many men to de-
clare that they would rather be right
than be president, for they do not stand
in much danger of being either.
Irate parent in the door, to his clerk,
who is caressing his daughter: young
man, you are not hired for that kind OF
work" That's so. 1 am doing it for
nothing"
A Chicago man bought a incubator,
put S25 worth of eggs in it and Matched
out a blue bottle-t1Y. Now he brags OF
having the only $500 bottle-fy in the
country.
During the absence of President and
Mrs. Cleveland, Mrs. Folsom has been
cleaning house for them. She thought
she couldn't stand the hard work of going
into the mountains.
Look at that rabbit, ma" said a little
Tot, as she curiously watched the pecu-
liar twinkle of the animals features: ''ev-
cry time he stops TO smell anything he
seems to stutter with his nose
i traveller en- route for Boston was
awakened by cry outside of his window !:
Pedal teguments artistically Illuminated
for the infniteisimal remuneration of 3
cents. 4" ''BY JOye. he said. -'we're there :"
A Lowell minister preached last Sun
day on why do the wicked live?" We
don't know, surely, why they do, bat we
might mildly suggest that if the wicked
didn't live it would be cold day for the
ministers.
Captain Caraway says the stingitst peo-
pie in the world live in Florida. There
is a man down there. says the gay and
festive captain, who is so stingy that he
uses wart on the back of his neck as a
collar button
She-Yes. Edward. we've got every
thing, I believe, but where's the baby:
He-Why, I gave it to YOU. Sbe-I know,
and 1 gave it back to youi He-Well, by
thunder! If I haven't gone and left il in
the parlor car.
4 hear Miss Brown wants the post-of-
fee" remarked Thompkius- Indeed" :"
said Brown. .sOf course the salary isn't
large. but it will help her some. l sup
pose" 't1eS- SAID Mr. Brown, 'and
there are the postal cards
Customer (severeiy)-DO you sell dis
eased meat here? Butcher Cblandly)-
Worse than that Customer (eXcitedly)
Mercy on Us. How can that be posi-
bIe. Butcher (contidentiaIIy) The meat
| sell l. dead-absoIuteIy dead. sir.
VVzF. Csx,55.rrar4I,-4 IE,ar+ hara i a
letter | found in your pocket IL Is sign
ed Mabel. and i, must confess, the most
sickenIng missiye / ever read On, you
horrid monster. / viii tell mother all
about IT. Hubby-But, my dear. have
you looked al the date Wife-No. but
will Why. it i dated Nov 1. 1883. Hub
by with q look Of triumph Yes dar-
ling: one Of the loving letters you wrote
10 me before we were married