davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Old IeIloW haQ worked on ~ ne ndu u@t
had in any night more than three hours
sleep, and that his friends, realizing
his condition, sent him on in the hope
that once he got the thing before the
Office he would forget all about it. ]
saw plainly that if the old man work
another six months over it he would
have TO be put in an insane asylum.
Well, the old man went home, and do
you know that before the following
Thursday ] got an allowanceP Yes.
sir. They gave him a patent on it. |
expected, you know, that after | had
completed the preliminaries they would
give me some references, and by this
means could delay the affair as long
as / pleased But no. 1t went through
without hitch, and hardly had the old
man got to his home before my letter
telling him about it must have reached
him"
"What then happenedP"
II don't know / have often won.
dered since what the old man did and
whether he was finally locked up in
an insane asylum.
81 suppose you have had many other
singular cases." said the reporter.
"Any quantity of them. /" replied the
attorney. Il had case not long ago
An inventor living way back in the
country wrote me that he wanted to
get out patent on churn. The
peculiar feature of the invention was
that at the same time the cream was
churned the butter made was collected
in the chura by particular motion in
churning. But the man had not the
happy faculty Of expressing himself
onpaper with clearness, and so when
he wrote personally for patent they
threw the thing out of the office be.
cause they could not understand it.
Well, one night bought gallon and
a half of cream, and after got home
l got out the churn and poured the
cream into it. / churned away for
about ten minutes, and then, hauling
up the lid, l saw about three pounds OF
butter nicely packed against one side
of the churn. When / presented the
case to the examiner he again threw it
out, but / appealed to the board, be-
cause was satisfied that it was a
practical idea When the day came
for me to demonstrate the theory l
got the same amount of cream, and,
using the same means, produced q
similar result The board was aston
ished. The examiner, who was present,
was more so, and asked me to eluci-
date the theory for his benefit. / told
him did not know any more than he
how it was done. The effect was pro-
dueed by the motion of the cream in
the churn, as | told you. When
churned it was sent from one side to
the other, and then back to the center,
and / never saw butter packed more
neatly in my life. Why, il did not
leave even decent buttermilk. - Wash
ington Star.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

PURE Con Liver on mace from selected ifvers on
the sea-shore. by HAzARD, HAZARD co.. New York
III absolutely pure and sweet Patients who have once
taken II prefer Il al others Physicians have decided
I superior to any Of the other oils In market.
CHAPPED HAEDR, FACE, PISfPLRs, and rough SEIn
crred l5y using JUHTPER Tar soar. made by HAZARD,
HAZARD q CO, New York.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

1 physican who has Travelled in Africa
lound that extra fingers and toes occur
frequently among the negro tribes. He
saw Cafire, aged eighteen, having six
fingers on each hand, while the same anon
ally was present in the father and moth
Or, four sisters, and one brother. His
mother had double series Of toes on
hnth feat
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

A Baltimore police officer, 80 years on
the force Mr.. Henry III. Durkee says: II
suffered with poison oak for more than a
year. tried st. Jacobs Oil; after the sec
ond application all the sores dried up and
I was cured. ! think IL inYaluable.n
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Our druggists keep TOT sale Halls Vege-
table Sicilian Hair Remover, the best pre-
paration ever made forrestoring the vitali.
ty and color Of the hair.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17
Bartholdi's Statae or s.Iiberty ERlIghtenins the
World's

Will bea reminder OF personal liberty for
ages to come On just as sure founda.
ton has DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery' been placed, and it will stand
through the cycles Of time as a monument
to the physi ysicaiemancipation OF thousands,
who bT its use have been relieved from con-
sumption, consumptive night-sweats,
bronchitis, coughs splitting Of blood, weak
lungs and other throat and lungaffections,
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

It ia extremely funny 20 see clergynen and
rurnsellers quitting themselves out of breath
advocating the Moxie. Go In gentlemen;
meanwhile the drupkard 3 wife and children
win thank God. Drink Moxie.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Nervous debility, premature decline Of
power in either sex, speedily and perma-
uently cured. Large book 10 cents in stamps.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
563 Main Street, Buffalo. n. y.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Mr.. John Gutmon, Sherman, KY,
writes: 81 have used st. Jacobs Oil for
ten years. 1t always cured the toothachs
in about ten minutes" Sold by Druggist
and Daalers
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Coughs and Colds. Those who are suffer
ing from Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat, etc.
should try BRowN's BRoEcHIAL TRocHEt
Sold only in boxes.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Herr srobbe, the eminent German pre-
lessor of law, is dead
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

8 months treatment for so cents. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. Sold by druggists.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

A dog is property when i has been stolen;
but 81 not property when the tax assessor
comes round Aesr 0rleaas Picagaet<
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17
Chas. ID. Keep, editor OF the Wall Stree
News, died at Long Branch, N. j.

That Miss Jones is a nice-looking girl,
isn't she?n
Eyes, and she'd be the belle Of the town
if il wasn't for one thing
What that?n
stShe has catarrh 40 bad it is unpleasant
TO be near her. She has tried dozen
things and nothing helps her. am sorry,
for like her, but that doesn't make it anF
less disragreeable for one to be around
her.
Now If she had used DR. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy, there would have been nothing Of
the kind said, iortit viii cure catarrh every
time.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17
..More Than 80 0sher Lang RemedIss, I.

s what f. w. Fairman, druggist at Day
tom, Ind, writes about the sale of Allen 5
Lung Balsam. He has sold itfor eighS
IN druggIsts At 25c., 90, 81. 90 . bottle.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Jefferson Davis completed bis seventy.
ninth year recently.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

The Milwaukee q ST. Paul has issued
new stock to the amount oI $40, O0O, 600.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Secretary EudlUvbt will not take his annu.
81 leave until some time in August.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

PostofRce at Brainerd, Brown county
Mimi, was discontinued.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

wNn. HAMSCOM, Oshkosh, wis, VINO
was for seven years SO afflicted with pi3es that
he was unable TO attend to business, ls entlrely
cnrss l,y the use Coles CarbOLisa1vS. Price
25 and 50cents, az Druggists.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

The village OF Grafton. o., has been great
u damaged by the recent storm.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

A ruifian enters the convent at La Crosse
and tries to outrage nun who escapes.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17
An Indolent ORGAN.

When the liver is indolent, as it must necessar
rily be when it fails to secrete the bile in sufi-
Client quantities to meet the requirements Of di-
gestion and evacuation, It should besett to work
with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. The health
fui stimulus to activity impaired by this incom-
parable Alternative, speedily evinces itself IN a
departure OF the uncomfortable sensations IN
the right side; the nausea fur upon the tongue;
INDIGESTION and sick headache consequent upon
inactivity Of thel iver and the diversion Of the
bile from It's proper channel. IrTegularity OF
the Bowels is always and painlessly removed by
the corrective indicated, which is infinitely to be
preferred, both because it Is safe and more elli-
cacious to blue pill, calomel and dFenching pur-
gatives of every class. 1t cures and prevents fe'
yer and aQ1le and rheumatism.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

Prof Herman, the prestidigitateur, died
at Carlsbad, aged Eixty-six.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-06-17

The accused trustees Of the Yankton
insane asylum deny charges OF corruption.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
Juvenile Bank Accounts.

How am to provide bank account
for my children, when l have so scanty
a one of my own? l hear some fond
parent cxclaim. BY teaching your
children to earn money. OF course it
is not always possible for them to save
it when earned; that is, there are cases
where it must be applied to meet the
nccess ties of life at once. Children
cannot begin too carly to earn little
money and there are an infinite num-
Der of ways in which they can gain a
few cents. giving them an iueXpressible
feeling of pride and ownership in hav-
ing something that is truly their own.
1t will serve as an incentive to greater
industry, and the habits they VII thus
acquire will be of vastly more benefit
than the money they save.
One of my own boys in early child
hood cvinced strong propensity to
extravaganza. and although our means
were not such rs to permit any great
and foolish outlay of small coins by the
lad, still he managed to spend, in the
most tritling way. all the cents and
dimes given to him by fond grandpar,
ents and uncles. One Christmas l gave
him bright tin bank, promising him
ten cents for every half dollar he ac-
cumulated. When his savings hat
reached the sum of s. (and they were
long in so doing). l put the sum in ;
savings bank, giving him bank bool
of his own. From that time noticed
decided change in his character. He
never became misery, but grew up an
earnest, prudent boy. soon devisng
ways and means of adding to his little
store. II your children are obliged to
perform such duties as cutting wood.
screening ashes, and the Ike. they will
have more energy and ambition if 20,
pay them few cents per week, o
better still, let them work by icon
tract. "-Farn.er's Wife, IN america,
AqrtculturiSt.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29

When circus pastes its bills on church II
should at least send the trustees free tickets.
A Des Moines minister who is a great base
ball enthusiast, divides his sermons into five
innings.
A farmer near Kenton, Tenn, put up q
barrel OF vinegar about year ago and stop
ped 1t tight. Recently he opened the barrel
and found swarm Of yellow jackets inside
A Brooklyn church has lady doctor among
its members, and the pastor is on trial Tor
putting his arm around her waste. He
should affirm his right to support pillar of
his church.
A little girls father has round bald spot.
Kissing him at bedtime not long ago, she
said: "Stoop down, popsy dear. | want to
kiss the place where the lining shows"
The best imitation of the song of the bobo-
link Is by the waiter girl when she says with
out taking breath: "Liver-steak- cold. roast
ACKNOWLEDGMENT Observation-Disclosures
There is man in pittsburg named whelan
who lives on crude petroleum. He is the only
rival the Standard Oil company has not yet
crushed.
''Volapuk.n the new universal language,
was the subject of an interesting lecture by
Colonel Charles f., Sprague. at University
building, New York. Volapuk, Colonel
Sprague said, means world-speech, but this is
not good name, as the language Is NOUN
tended to be spoken among the people OF any
nation, but only to be used in correspondence
among people Of different nations. "lnterna-
tional language" would be q better term.
Attempts to make common language date
back to about the year 1900 A. d. The pres
snt system, volapuk, was devised by Father
Schleyer, German priest, and published In
1881. 1t now has 10000 students in Europe,
six periodicals are devoted to ii, and about
| sixty societies are striving to Introduce 1t.
A minister who is at present soJourning
amid the yerdure-clad hills of Greenbush, tells
the following: Somewhere in the country a
number of ministers were wont to meet to-
gether on stated days for purposes pertaining
to their calling. As might be supposed, each
meeting was opened with prayer. But one
| day they met at the house of a brother who
| had stock of excellent cigars, which lie pass
| ed around freely. Soon all the brethren were
| putting away, and before they knew it they
| had taken up the business of the meeting
| Suddenly one of them remembered the for
gotten prayer and suggested that somebody
make up for lost time. But one of the broth
| ers was equal to the occasion: ''Neyer mind
now, Brother "" he said, ''we have opened
this meeting by offering upincense. Let thai
| suffice"
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
Her First Sea Bath.

This is a truthful and most accurate
description of how woman acts when
she first pats on n bathing suit and
appears before the world in it. At first
sight of it she giggles convulsivcly and
filters out:
"Oh, never, never can let anybody
see me with that on!'
"Oh, yes you can. Put it on" cries
some hardened companion who has
been in before. Everybody wears
them"
But I'll look so awful"
who cares? Nobody'lI know you"
Then she gets into it giggling
furiously. ''Oh, just can't go out in
it."
Eyes, you must"
"But how can I?'
bah; nobody'll notice you in the
least"
"But know / look perfectly dread
full"
Well, everybody else looks so. too. Z"
Il know. but T. (giggle) shall die
if see anybody know"
You ready?"
"Yes, I-I-guess so! Oh, l just
don't believe l can 60, after all. Don't
look awful?"
Pooh! no! Come onr'
81 can't bear to. Tee, hee, hee,
heer'
But she does, all the same, giggline
frantically until she reaches the water.
when she shrieks out:
"Oh. it's cold! Ugh! Hec! I'll look
so awful when I'm wet! O-o.o-o-h, it.:
dreadful cold!'
And when she comes out and is dress
ed again she bores everybody she
knows by saying over and over
again:
"Oh, I think it's just lovely to battle
I'm going in every day! Isn't fun?
just love to lie down and let the waves
run over me! l amt one bit afraid
now! Twas awtully frightened at first
don't mind my looks one bit now
I'd like to have my photograph takel
in my bathing suit! 1t d be jolly fun
wouldn't it? got some water in my
mouth. and isn't it salty? Oh, its jus
splendid! I'm going three times som
DAYS! l believe it III do me good! Oh
I'm wild over bathing! It's Just too
perfectly lovely and jolly for anything
It'd BITS
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
IMPORTANT TO SCIENTISTS.
The Discovery OF the 1temains OF a
MastodOn.

The Discovery OF the 1temains OF a
Mastodon.
Students in geology will be interested
in the discovery recently made by En-
len Mcconnell. of Philadelphia. and j..
Coleman Saltar, of Pemberton, of the
remains of giant elephant. 1t was
found entombed in the bed and bank
of small stream. a tributary of the
Rancocas, in New Jersey. The unusu.
ally high water Of the stream had evil
IDENTIFY only quite recently exposed the
mastodon.
The bones, which are mainly in a
good state of preservation, were firmly
embedded, and not until after having
partially diverted the course of the
stream were the discoveries able to re-
move them from the enclosing matrix.
The head was found resting on its top
surface, with a portion of one Of the
molars of the upper jaw exposed above
the water.
Both tusks were removed from their
sockets, and likewise one of the anteri-
OF molars, and although no longer per-
feet were still sufficient in themselves
to indicate a ponderous dental arma-
ture. BY closely feeling along the bot
tom of the stream Messrs. Saltar and
Mcconnell successfully uncovered 9th
err parts of the skeleton. such as the
leg and arm bones, ribs, ETC., and
doubtless further excavations will re-
veal the greater part if not the whole,
of the skeleton.
Through the generosity of the first
finders Messrs. Saltar and Mcconnell,
the parts have been donated to tn.
Academy of Natural Sciences. whittier
they are now being removed, and where
they will be shortly placed on exhibi-
ton. No exact measurements of the
bones have yet been made, but they in
dictate an animal apparently equaling.
if not surprising full-grown elephant
in size. The species, says Prof. Angelo
Heilpn, who is much interested in the
discovery, is probably MaStodo~ gigan-
| teuS.
The remains of mastodons have been
! found at various times in the State OF
New Jersey, but it appears that none
either so we'll preserved or so perfect
have been determined since 1915, when,
as reported by Sir Charles Lyell, six
skeletons were eXhumed from a drain
ed pond in Warren county, in the
northwestern part Of the State. Five
of these Immediately crumbled but the
sixth one is stated to have been pre-.
served entire (even to the retention Of
the food contained in its stomach). -
Phitadeiphia Bulletin
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
The Khediye's Wife.

The khedive's wife is described by a lady
who was admitted to her presence, as still
young, at most twenty-siy years old, and has
an extremely charming face. Her whole ap-
pearance would be bewitching were she not
an Oriental, and therefore, young as she Is
already too stout to be perfectly beautiful,
according to European notions. She has
large dark eyes, with long, heavy eyelashes,
a dazzling compassionate which art has con-
tributed nOthing-and the loveliest little
mouth and teeth. Her neck and arms, as
well as her small fat hands glittered with dia-
monds, and her dark, fashionable arranged
hair was cncircled with wreaths. of precious
stones. and yet, somehow, her toilet seemed
not Over-laden On the left side of her white
surah dress whose long trail was completely
covered with rich lace, she wore broche of
fresh orange leaves, and with white roses, and
below it "a miniature of the khedve set in
diamonds; on little table lay her golden
tabaticre with the signature Of Abdul Aziz in
diamonds and a large fy-lap OF ostrich teath'
ers, whose handle glittered and sparkled with
he slightest motion
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
Dairy Tests.

There is murmuring along the line
that the test business among cows is
being overdone. The death of several
remarkable animals soon after COM
pleting their great records has led some
men to argue that such forcing was
necessarily dangerous; some go as far
IS to call it cruelty. One writer points
out what the average yield of dairy
cows is, to show by comparison what
a strain these must have been subject
ed to that have made such large rec
ords. While wo are opposed to 'slop-
ping over" in any direction, and are
ready to prevent cruelty in every DOS
sible instance. we feel inclined to offer
a few arguments on the other side Of
this question.
We have not seen in accounts of the
death of these famous cows any strong
evidence that death was the result of
high feeding, unless it was in the case
of Mercedes, and she was at the critic
al point of parturition when it is dan
gerous to rush any COW with high feed.
Many other COWS not so famous nor so
highly fed have died under the same
conditions, but the world did not hear
of it. Where is the forcing ?" The
cow was not obliged to eat more than
she wanted. Where is cruelty? The
cow was kept quiet and comforta-
BILE and was well cared for, and
the milk was drawn often enough to
relieve the udder from undue expan-
sion. Compare this treatment with the
course of training animals have to en-
dure to fit them for trial of speed or
draft. Cruelty to keep cow comfort
able and give her all she can eatp
Cruelty to take ninety or one hundred
pounds of milk from a COW in day
when her appetite and digestion and
secretive organs are all favorably unit.
ed for its production?
We hear no complaint of cruelty
where cows are fattened for the butch
er. 1t has been argued that COW was
| SdpauiO Va SOltdlh VI
milk and that high feeding shortened
her period of usefulness. Why not say
that stove is capable of making just
so much ashes, or of giving out just so
much heat when it all depends on
what and how much is put into it?
But even if this assumption is true
we keep COWS for what we can get out
of them, and if we can get their full
yield in five years, it saves much time
and labor over taking ten years for it.
When these large records were first
published, a certain class of writers
were ready to advertise their stupidity
by questioning their truthfuness; and
this cry of overlooking and dangerous
forcing seems like branch of the
same idea which is simply this: Some
one has better COW or better breed
than we have but we don't want to adj
NIT it.-PrdcticdI Farmer.
Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-09-29
An Exoduster's Song.
On Canada's quiet banks stand,
And last an anxious eye
To that unhappy bank beyond,
Where all my ledgers lie.- It'd Bits
Where They Get The Scalps.


A good many years ago when an
Omaha militia company went out on a
three months scout on the plains the
bottle-scarred warriors failed to find
single hostile Sioux whose scalp they
could take with propriety. So they
turned in to get their trophies from
their own camp, and calamity cut the
ears of two or three Pawnee bucks
who accompanied the militia as guides.
These ears were brought back to
Omaha as proof of the daring and
bravery of our volunteer protectors.
and although the Pawnee ears were not
large enough to cover them with glory.
they served their purpose, for time
at least, until It leaked out that they
had never ornament.d the head of a
Sioux brave.
The Colorado militia are evidently
taking their pattern from the renowned
Omaha scouts of "a, and we shall moi
be surprised If their trophies prove tc
be nothing more than the ears of some
inoflensive Indians who happened to
DO on trail of the MALTA. Omaha Bee.