Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1887-04-17

etvfiities are q part a the grace q for
eign manners. In Francs. when Rar-
tieman takes OF bis hat 10 . vviney
doorway and holds Il in his hand While
talking - 3 lady. she always says con-
osez vOus beg q y0u not 70 stand
hAfiess.h A kind hearted woman SAYS
this - 4 coschman. q bostmAn. = man
Of low OF Of high degree. Il i the
custom, or was. for a eabman 70 take
on bis bat while 3 lady looked for his
fare Here esbmen have such bad
manners everyWhere that a lady sell
don has an opportunity for optional
ciyility 70 them. but Il is grace worth
cultivatipg A husband in France
places an easy-ehair for his wife. kisses
her hand, brings her q shawl If there
Is draught, and sets 3 footstool for
every lady.
We do not yet sufficiently appreciate
the value Of manner. The bad man
ners u Americans are really from
want Of thought. Washington Irving
once said, when asked what we're the
advantages Of foreign travel. that " one
who goes over q bear may come home
a gentleman. There are no more
generous, kindly. chiralrors men IN
the world than Americans To them
fortune has been most kind BY offering
them every possibility. They might,
however, study optional civiiity. They
should not only have good manners
but better manners. Let q cordial
bow. a gracious smile. make sun
shine in a shady place" Civilify oils
the wheels Of our domestic machinery.
and American women might mend
their manners as well, particularly as
20 optional ciyilities. Optional civility
does not N any way include familiar
ity. Perhaps il i the best OF all safe
guards against il. Well-bred women
never say anything 70 hurt = persons
feelings. To tell one Of the disagreea-
bic things said behind ones back Is
neither good taste nor optional civility
II Is really caused by excess OF friend
ship. II Is more apt 70 be an expires
sion Of individual spite II is doubtful
taste 70 warn people Of their faults, 10
comment upon their failures, 70 carry
them disagreeable tidines under the
name Of friendship. This il very often
optional incivility. That mysterious
thing within us which We call 81 pride"
which Is at once the best and the poor
est thing. as we make it either the
painted wooden three-Iegged stool Of
assumption, or arrogance, or fmpolite-
ness. or the noble theme Of seif-respect
and dignity, is but another form Of
temper. Il Is part Of our moral eli
mate, and NAV make as noble and
agreeable or absurd and detestabie, as
we all are proud.
IL is curious 70 notice the difference
II aa4sr 4 z \ r
the channel A Prenchman always
lifts his hat ON entering a railway car
rage II ladies are in Il; he takes it off
as he leaves them. An Engiishman
rarely takes OF his hat unless a prin-
cess Is passing, or he meets an ac-
He sits with his hat on
in the House of Commons. in the read
ing room Of hotel when ladies are
present, in his club, where he is priVi-
legged 70 sulk.
But in his own house there is no
host so polite as an Englishman. unless
It IS an American, and in a friends
parlor they all have. men and women,
a politesse which we might copy.
They speak without an introduction
the roof Is an introduction And as
showing how much fashion and custom
have to do with what even the most
reserved people conclude should be
done, the English lady. who will not
walk alone in the park, will 20 to
dinner by the full light Of a summer
sun, in crowded London, in low neck
and diamonds, in that singularly open
and exposed carriage known as a han
som. Thus what we should shun is a
very public unreserved sort OF fashion
the reserved Englishwoman does in
London. while she smiles If she sees a
lady alone in victoria in HYDE Park
and would consider herself an inn
proper person If she asked a gentleman
10 drive out with her alone in her vic
toria-a thing considered proper
enough in America. Etiquet is
curious and arbitrary thing and diff
fers in every country. An American
gentleman does not smoke while driv-
ing with his wife in the park here, but
an English gentleman does; il Is not
considered bad manners.
A conventional standard of manners,
dress, and even Of conversation, grows
mp in every country, every large city,
and perhaps there may be few whose
pretentiOus superiority prompts them
10 arbitrarily assume a leadership when
they are not fitted for such a position.
There i a certain air Of style acquired
by residence in a large city, in the
possession Of fine clothes and hand
some surroundings, for luxury strikes
in, and so certain few get TO be dis
from the vulgar many in a
manner which is impressive. Fash
ionable society gets TO be imposing, for
II is sustained BY the profuse expendi-
ture Of wealth and by the stndious
hard work Of those who aspire 10 lead
ership. And all society needs leader
ship as an army needs general. Ac-
cording 20 these leaders society rises or
falls. II leader is frivolous and plays
needlessly with the social excitement
OF the hour. society becomes frivolous
No doubt all metropolitan life is full OF
unwhoiesome eXcitements, and the
frivolities Of life are supposed 10 lead
20 the doubtfully moral view OF actions
and manners which enjoy, neverthe-
less, a certain social sanction. Were
we 20 trust the sensational gossip Of
the day. society would seem to be more
full Of natural horrors than any drama
Of passion wrought out by even Kit
Marlowe But not all the influences
Of society and a great city are by any
means morbid and bad. There are peo-
pie of good temper and good manners
who keep il respectable. Particularly
in a republic there should be salt
enough 20 save H. F"
PARADOX.