The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1887-03-12
Cut From Exchanges.

IA leeOle olu uarky struggled
painfully. "Boss," he said, "Ise
an ole, ole man. 1 was born
in ole Vahginny, an libbed dar
mos on to nenety-eight year, an,
| want you ter assis' me er little
dis mawnin, boss if yo' pleas,
sah2""Y III knew George Wash
ington, Of course9" "No sab; l
nebber seed him." "What! you
lived in Virginia nihety-eight
years and never saw George
Washington" "Dad am er fac,
boss. Use an homes ole man,
an am too far gone in dis worP
fer to tell er lie. I nebber seed
young George; but Lori his po
ole gran fudder an gran mudder
use to think er pow'ful sight OBJ
me, boss"
Jones came home very late
one night. His wife opened
the door for him, and was pre-
pairing to take him severely to
task when "Hush! my dear, "
said Jones; "don't disturb me. "
He went to the wardrobe, took
out an umbrella, which he opened,
and then covered on the floor,
holding it over his head. What
sort of a pantomine is this!" ex-
claimed his better half. s'fIush!"
said Jones, with a smile. 81
know what l am about. The
thunderstorm may come on now;
[ am ready for it," Needless to
say that the good woman's wrath
was completely disarmed.
sand do you refuse me a
goodbye kiss" he asked ten
derby, 81 must, at this time. "
swell, now why? [ haven't t
asked for one since before my
last trip. Just one, please, and
lac looked at the downcast eyes
before him, while his arm slipped
around her slender waist. She
hcsitated a moment, and then,
as if swallowing a full-grown
sigh, she answered; "No my
dear jim, not this time; and if
you knew what a sight of fried
onions l ale at the slipper
table you wouldn't ask such a
thing"
EFF I buy some dress
materials asked a lsdy in ii
Diapers "can you deliver them
at oncel" "Yes'm" said the
voting man. "There will be no
delayF' mo, m'm," said the
young man. "Because | am in
great haste" Eyes M" said
the young man. every well,
you may show me your summer
silks" In four hours and forty
minutes the lady had selected
what she wanted, and the tired
young man ordered the goods to
be delivered at once.
MIR, Tompkins was waiting
for Miss Minnie, and her youth
full brother was entertaining him
until his sisters arrival; 81 say"
he ventured, "your hair is black,
isn't it2" yes" "Well, you
dye it, don't you!" "No, what
put that idea into your headl"
L dunno, only Sister Minnie
safe the other day that you were
naturally light headed Mr..
Tompkins has transferred his
affections to another girl.
-Parson: Use been rec'mended
to ply hyar to 'btain a supply of
wine for church purposes, an'am
tole dat you hab a good article
on han, Dealer; Veil, yes we
haye a superior line of goods.
What kind would yon likel
Parson; : Well dat's de question.
For myself, Ise not very 'ticular,
but as some OBJ de ladies have
spressed a preference 70 gin, I
think | will two gallons OBJ de
best you hab.
Grief anticipates age.
Dwelling on the invitable past,
forming vain hypothesis, as to
what might have been if this or
that had or had not been, acquir-
ing a craze for recounting what
has Occured-these acts do more
harm to future health and effort
than manly things connected
with real calamity. Occupation
and new pursuits are the best
preventives of mental shock and