The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-01-06
THE MERRY SIDE |.

Let tne nasty Dlute VINO talks ABOUT Logan S
faults" so and wash himself.
One great fact the world must learn-the diff
ference between an evangelist and a lunatic.
Many young man finds his only religion in
beer-glass. But he never gets to Heaven that
way.
One word of encouragement 10 the man 1iv-
ing, is worth ten columns of gRsh over him
dead
We're awfullv shocked at the Mormons! Yes,
and we're shocked at some people who are not
Mormons.
One more Christmas has passed, there have
been few more frolics-and several more
whisky funerals.
Hogs are dying in large numbers in Indiana.
The Democratic majority in Indiana has en-
tirely disappeared.
An Englishman named Jacques undertook to
starve himself for money, but nobody went to
see him, and he quit
Uncle John Robinson's "three-horned and
three-eyed OK" is dead. He got tired OF living
a lie, and gave it up.
The confectionerS now put ffg-leaf in each
box of figs, thus giving TO each nickel purchaser
new suit of clothes.
DR.. Patten, of Franklin, Me-, quit Dentistry
and went to cobbling. Not liking the change,
he got drunk and died.
The pictorial feature of the patent country
papers is improving. The papers now present
the beauty of q Minstrel Poster,
The thought of losing Cleveland and having
Bayard for President is enough to make even
Democratic politician pray.
At the Ironton EiSteddfod they had as good a
time, and as good music, as they could have
had-without Jackson choir.
IL. b. Wilson took the prize for impromtu
speaking, at the Ironton Eisteddfod, and never
got over the one word "Eisteddfod."
Cleveland's physician is afraid he will get so
fat that he will collapse. His reputation as
statesman has done it already.
President Cleveland is suffering from rheu-
matism. Probably caused by running so fast
in the last Presidential campaign
-
If our good President should pass away, we
hope he'll bequeath DanI to Bayard. The
country can't get along without Dann.
Logan had to be ordered from the field TO lest
for his health. Many men secured arrest by
running from the field without orders
We do not even know the extent of the NOR
tality among great men. Who knows what
has become of Bristow and Carl Schurz?
s
great many country papers have turned
into
Cincinnati papers at dollar year.
Many OF Americas greatest men have died
poor. That's evidence of greatness we may
all leave as a legacy to our children.
Old Lady to Boy skating-' Oh you naughty
boy! Why don't you go TO Sunday Schoo?"
Boy-"W hat fer? They haint no ice thele!"
#.#
Since the patent-plate business has become so
lively, new kind of ink has been sold every
where They pour it onto the type with
gourd.
Mr. Foliett, of Cincinnati thinks the Dow
Law Tax is illegal. There are four five thou
sand fellows in Cincinnati who think that way
The doggery keepers OF Ohio threaten to test
the Dow Law iii the q. s. Supreme Court Let
them rush! They are travelling to their own de-
'o' ion' anu Will oie uhmoufned-
n,,., ...,,,-...
in g stones at Rev. William Mullenix The
public should keep eye on the throwers.
1t is fun to see the pups who barked at Loga n
a few months ago, now trying to scour the
smell OF Garrion away, and appear as his ad-
mirers.
-
When a iS I
work, of coulse he is the first upon the sceoc.
Thus Logan IS traducers seek to pose as his near
,,-
-, ,,I =. -. ., oieeA' "eSt 'a' tue
Nv " va aii'iis' an" went 70 ols-
~, - N.Y. VIZ" iaNo's' II 'ne Joke
WASH 80 oie' we III gut say II was "oaroer-
O"' io0'ihS'
t. ~ Go oH ,t .'il.'S ne
.,r.,,a :, ao,,,. e., - -,,1 =,
,o, ,,iei,.,,.11a 10 - ' "
SbeIbvviIIe Ly - man xvos ,,,r,,area +,
81 low about hottie Of whisLv Tbera WASN'T
went by the pitchfork route.
A Georgia belle went back on Secretary La
mar, in his youth, because he had long hair.
Now she Is widow and he widower, aud she
Is wiling 10 lake him. p1gtall and all.
The Louisville Courier-Journal publishes b
column OF portraits "of the leading Prohibition
orators" one could scarcely blame the Prohi-
oltlonls's for going OH ana SetlnS drunE, after
seeing lhose pictures.
To settle the thlng, let Old man Payne step
that is without poIittcaI sin cast the first soner,
rrh. ,,,,,1d fo,.o,,a, sa+t1a+bo ,,,otto,
A ChlcaSo Nah"ay engine struck street car
hiIsU " ir. " 90i'' ooio oH0 IS'i " pte1e9' o'''
bounced lof lhcompetency. An ordinary en-
glneer "ouio nave gotten a dozen de@'h' out OF
tnat run.