The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-12-31
NO FUN TO eE A CAR.
Bill Nyo's Dissertation o some Obvious
Discomforts of Royalty.

Discomfort of Royalty.
II anything could reconcile the average
| American boy to the fact that he is not O
| car, il would be the late story OF Mr..
| Strakosch to the effect that his imperial
| majesty once, when the czarowitch played
a French obligato 10 the song given by
Nine, Nilsson, and that years after, when
| he had become a full blown car, the or
chestra affected him 10 tears, tor il
| brought back the memory Of that blessed.
time when he did not have 70 put on o
sheet iron oyercoat 10 60 out and get the
morning paper.
Happier indeed was this great man,
with his French horn and his portfolio as
~czarowitch, living from hand 10 mouth,
than in after years as a thirty-second de-
gree car with a mighty empire under his
thumb and a fractions bomb under his
throne.
Greatness brings with it newspaper
criticism, loss Of appetite, languor, cold
feet and death. And even In death a great
man does not stand much of u chance.
Relic hunters come and try to break into
his grave and carry fragments Of his sys-
tenn away TO remember him by, aud the
historian critlcises him to his hearts con-
tent.
For this reason we ought II appreciate
q country where we need not be great if
we would rather not. \ car really has
no alternative. lie can avoid being q
czarina by beginning in time, but when
he discovers that he is a czarOwitch he
knows that it is goOd-by, John, as the
D,,~-fon~ 1rrrn IL ff.s. tla frrlar ara lsas
severe. A man may escape greatness Tor
years and yenrs. He may be president OF
the United States today and promoting
pullets tomorrow.
The utmost latitude is given to al
American. lie canno only abstain from
beingigrcat, but after be has been great
our people will excuse q man and allow
him 10 insert himself into o%bscurity again
in case he feels more comfortable that
way. But q czar has 10 chance. lie
really has no fun ot all. As soon as lie
discovers that bis lineage Is big he IS open
70 criticism, and cannot do anything IN.
dignihed.
A car who would play shorstop in o
picked nine or 90 about the country deliv
cring a humorous lecture, would be Ostra
cized. Many o long, hot summer day he
has 10 stay on q big rel throne aud rGgp
while mediocre men go fishing Just rs
he thinks he Is alone and takes off his hat,
erminc trimmed robes. thinking that he
viii situ has shirt sleeves and play a few
strains on his French horn. a courtieI
comes Ia aud. making Il low obeisance,
states that Dc has u raitse which ought to
be issued iu time go catch the = o'clock
uriL
Ihen it Is diiaoreeaLla Tor a man 10 be
"a ear Gul Suddenly find himself the
Q-rclt 81 "a grInd duke whom he don't
exactly feel 90 liberty 10 spank No mar
really wants 70 spank q grand duke, no
matter how little he f. As Americans,
we do not fully appreciate the blessings Of
freedom which are denied to a car.
Czar'nas also have a pretty hard row TO
hoe, O. Use On Amer.canism. They have
to meet all the social demands that are
made upon thcm and entertain %neighbOr-
ing p0tentates, see that they have hot
water and clean towels in their rooms
while visiting at their houses, and show
them the best places 10 trade while Ia the
city. They also have to have general
oversight Of the children, 50 that their
distracted country will not run short OF a
monarch.
IL is no uncommon thing for a czarina
20 say 10 a visiting dynasty: Excuse me
q moment, your royal alt~itoodleum; his
nibs, the grand duke, has just informed
me that her eminence, the grand duch-
css, his sister, has got a Lima bean up
her nose Bill Nye in New York World.