River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-09-29
WHY WI They.

why VIII people continue to do tn
things that are to their disadvantage
This is problem that has puzzled II.
for long time.
Why will man with mouth like
the entrance to a mammoth cave per
sistently shave his face smooth, when by
allowing his beard to grow he might
conceal the opening he so unhesitat
ingly offers to the world?
Why will a short woman always veal
plaids, which make her look ever
shorter and more dumpy? And why
do tall women take naturally to stripes:
Look about you when you take 8
walk down one of our fashionable
streets, and notice the fact that the
plainest-faced women wear the most
striking costumes as if they hoped by
gaudy costumes in dress to make
amends for undue length of noses and
excess of pimples and freckles.
Snort, fat women wear fur lined cir
culars almost to an individual; and tall
lean women affect short walking
jackets and look like liberty poles witt
night gowns on.
Long necked women invariably do
their hair in French twist, so as to lei
all creation observe the fact that theil
necks arelOng; and short-necked women
stick to frogs on the napes of theil
neeks, and from behind present the APP
pearance of their heads resting on then
shoulders.
Small. short men appear in tall hats
under the impression that the tile add.
to their height, when in reality it gives
them the appearance of a hat walking
off with man. One sees a great deal
more hat, proportionately, than he does
man.
Why will women go shopping after
samples that they will never buy any
thing like and know that they shall
not
Why win people run down every
religion but their own? They know
they never make any converts by so
doing.
Why can two of trade never agreet
Why does young man when he is
going accounting act as if he were doing
something he was ashamed of?
Why do old people so hate to see
young people enjoy themselves?
What makes everybody like to hear
of bad luck coming to somebody elsef
There are good souls in the world
who will say that they do not enjoy
anything of the kind, and perhaps they
think so; but just let a scandal arise
affecting the minister of "the other
church" and see how active those very
same good souls will be to find out
every minute particular.
Why do boys like to break glass and
stone cats, and tie tin clippers to dogs
tails?
Why do men like to see a horse run
away?
Why does everybody in a crowded
railway car watch the woman who has
a crying baby? Has she not enough to
contend with without feeling conscious
that every man, woman and old maid,
who knows about as much concerning
a baby as an elephant knows about
frying doughnuts. is looking at her,
and wondering why she doesn't do this
and do that?
Why do dyspeptics keep on eating
baked beans.
Why do fat people who agonize over
adipose tissue keep on eating candy and
using sugar?
Why does a person with poor circu-
lation'' hover over hot stove and make
the circulation aforesaid poorer.
Why do men marry women untitled
for them and bewail their fate forever
afterward
Why does a girl unite herself for life
to man who she knows drinks. and then
spend her lifetime in grooming over
her lamentable misfortune?
Why do they do it?
We have asked the questions. but
we are no nearer answering them than
we were at the beginning.-Rdte Thorn
in NelD York Weekly.