The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-22
BRIGHT BITS.

lGNATIUS DoNlyELIY has not yet discovered the
CIPHER running through the Declaration of In
dependence proving that document to have
been written by George Washington. Psttsburg
Chronicle.
Nor an editor has been mangled by railroad
smash-up this year Trains NAV go through
weak bridges, into open switches and over EN-
bankments, but so long as the interstate com
merce law remains intact the editors will also.
--O5hkos'I Times.
rs THAT a valuable ring you've got on, Gus?"
asked John street salesman.
Gus-l We hung 1t up for $50.
Jack-you don't say so.
Gus-Yes. Seventy-five times Dollar each
time. -Jeweiry NetoS.
AN old and esteemed subscriber. G. NJ. Davis
sends us the following: DO not forget that it
was proclaimed 100 years ago that the people
are the source of power and that to-day we
add, amid our material prosperity, provided
they are not womenr - Philadelphia Inquirer.
Il SEE" rewarded Miss Keebored, turning
around on the piano stool, that the Duke of
Saxe.Goburg- Gotha can compose music very
readily"
Il think III invite the Duke in, then" replied
her father, there's some music about this
house that sadly needs composing '-PittSblrg
Chronicle.
OLD Army OFFICER-I am sure the American
yacht will be beaten.
Friend-What makes you think so, Colonel?
Her name alone is enough to make her lose
the race. If she was named the Wess Point
Graduate, for instance, she would be sure
to win, but Volunteer, bah! 1 saw enough
OF those volunteers during the war -TeGdS
SiftinJs.
OLD LADY Ito grocers boy(-Don't you know,
boy, that it is very rude to whistle when dealing
with lady?
Boy-That's what the boss told me to do,
mum.
Old Lady-Told you to whistle?
Boy-Yesm He said if we ever sold you
anything we'd have to whistle for the money
Hdlper'S Bozdr.
A MARRIAGE OF INTEREsT-The family of the
Jioncee is in consultation with the family of the
young man. concerning the amount of the dot
The father Of the groom says to the mother of
the young lady: lyon say you will give your
daughter a dot of 100000 ~
Not sou more"
But We delaaud 55,0Oof My son says that
your daughter eats enormously and always
passes up her plate for more!''-FFench PIpcr
New YORKER Ito native)-Excuse me. sir, but
should be glad to see the residence of w. ID.
Howells if
Bostonian-Never heard of the man.
New Yorker-Perhaps you can tell me where
your famous philosopher, DR. Oliver Wendell
Holmes lives?
Bostonian- Never heard of him. either
New Norker-Can you direct me to Mr.
John
Bostonian with sudden Observation-Disclosures
saloon: Go down two squares, turn to the right
and there you are.-Tid- Bits.
SPEAKING of pictures, friend o.. ours took her
4year-old girl to a photographer. The child
couldn't be made to sit still. He of the camera
was as suave as could be, and worked every de-
vice of gentle persuasion to make the little wig
gler sit still. Finally he nd to the despairing
mother:
Madam, if you will leave the little dear alone
with me few minutes | think can succeed"
The mother was scarcely withdrawn when she
was summoned back by the triumphant pho
tographer, who exhibited a satisfactory mega
tive. When they reached home the mother
asked:
Nellie, what did the man say to you when
left you alone with HIM"
He said" lisped Nellie ''thit thill, you damn
little rathcal, or I'll shake you!'-BufaIo Er-
press