The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1887-11-24
Advice Abou. Marriage

Brudder Amibad Cantilever, it am 70
ported dat you am about to take unto
yerself wife. Dat de report am true
your recent ackshuns am proof You
has been seen pricin' secondhand
stoves squintin' at TO dollar bedroom
sweets, an rustlin' around arter bric-a-
brac. Marriage am muffin you need be
ashamed of, an l reckon you kin de-
pend on dis club to warm up de house
fer you an leave behind some hard
bottomed cheers an few articles of
tnware.
Brudder Cantilevcr, marriage am q
lottery OF . dead-sure thing-just as you
make il. n you get struck on sight
fall in luv wild gal fur her small feet
taperin' waist, dimpled chin. or warb1
lin mouf, an marry her off-hand at
about twelve weeks notis. yop needn't
be astonished if der am dynamite
'sploshHn afore you hav bin hitohed .
week Small feet an . good temper
doan' allus 60 together. Slim waists
an kitchen economy may not work in
de Same harness De gal who charms
yoa by de way she drums de pianpar
may aatly refuse, as a wife, to run Ndeh
same fingers ober q washbo'd. Firstly,
doan' git married until youknow what
you arc bein' jined to. Study de gal.
Let de feet 60 an watch her temper.
Lot de bangs 60 an watch her economy.
Nebber you mind about the way she
dimples her chin. but az yerscif If she'll
make de bed wld de foot lower den do
bead You has got to do all the study
in. Not pne gal out of q thousand eber
stops to size up luyer. II his Grecian
nose or curly has or droopin' mustache
strikes her fancy she'll nebbcr stop to
study his natur' nor to worry ober his
habita She is marryin' dat nose. OF
head. or mustache. A month arteF
marriage. when he hauls her aroun' by
de hair an slaps her dimpled jaw she's
perfectly astonished to think she made
Sioh mistake,
Secondly. Brudder Cantilever, arter
de knot has bin tied, make up yer mind
dat do fucher won't be all plain sailin'.
You are gwine to be tried an tested an
trubbled. an you Lev got to call up all
yer manhood. You will h'ar de sasser
Scrapin' de bottom of do flour bar'l
whom you heven't got . cent in yer
pocket De wood-pilc will run out in
Jinuary, an de sugar an bacon will
seem to be carried off by de rats. If yer
wife am eber 50 good-natured she will
hev her trials an tribulashuns, an dar
may be times when she'll ris up an
claw fur you. In de Vars gone BY my
ole woman has rushed upon me wid de |
rollin'-pin. an has retorted in a way
to make her earsache, but all de time |
knowsd she was savin' an good-heart-
ed. an she knowed I'd empty my pock,
cts of de las shillin' to buy her new
set Of false frizzes. II you am suited to |
each odder an occashunal row in de |
family will prove . stickin' plaster 10
hold you de clusser together. If you
amt suitsd-if you diskiver dot you hav
struck a patch of Canada thistles an
can't sot still. an If de odder party dis
kivers dat she has taken a tumble off de |
of Romance an brought up
wild thud in de mud-hols of Reality,
you jist absequatulate apart. Go quiet
|y an decentlv an git unhitched by di-
vorce. an let de wisdom gained by e4-
perience STAN at yer right hand when
5e make anoder choice. Brudder Can.
tilever, my feeling an de feelins oh de
club am with ye, an our good wishes,
together wild at least % worth of tin
ware. kin be counted on whenever de
[atal occashun arroves.-Brother Gard
ser, in Detroit Free Press.