The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-10-04
How Near Society Came to Losing
a Bright Light in Sedalia.
A Vicious SOw-A Practical Joke
Candy Kisses and a Dose
of Soap Suds.

Missouri. This was before Sedalia
was ever dreamed of by the patriarch
prophet, Gen. Geo. r. Smith. The
old burg contained as genial set of
citizens as ever congregated within the
same limits. A familiarity and sOcia-
bility was then in vogue that seems
now thing of the past.
There was a newspaper there, too,
to chronicle the events and occurrences
as they passed. 1t is decidedly inter
esting now to peruse the happenings
of those ante-bellum days. In glanc-
ing over copy of the Pettis County
Independent, published in 1858, we
were amused at an account of hair
breadth escape made by the present
superintendent Of the Sedalia gas light
company, Mr.. James Montgomery,
from horrible and untimely death.
He has never been alluded to as a
giant, physically, but he was much
smaller then than now.
He had to examine the outside of
the barn, one day, and being DESTROYS
of saving himself for the future, he
assumed a sitting posture, and gave
himself up to meditation. 1t appears
that an old SOW with large family of
young porkers, bad watched Jim's
Vancouver with jealous eye, and
she put herself forward to reconnoitre
and see what kind of "varmint" was
threatening the peace of her happy
family. She evidently failed to see
his race or anything human, and with
fire in her eye and frenzy in her brain
made gallant onslaught on what she
conceived to be an enemy, taking the
boy at a great disadvantage, striking
him in the rear without the least par
ticle of protection. This knocked
Jimmy hors de combat, and the old
SOW followed up her victory, using
/ her tushes with almost deadly eff
feet. Such screaming as the lad
did was never heard before. He hal
IOed murder fire! thieves! and ev-
erything calculated to bring succOr,
which came in the form of VIM. 7.
jackson, who with great difficulty
drove the sow off the mutilated youth.
He was taken to his fathers house
and his wounds dressed. 1t is fortu
nate thing that most of them are in a
locality where they will not be seen,
unless he adopts the airy costume of
the Greek Slave.
A story is also related of ludicrous
affair between Mr.. VIM. Dixon and
another citizen, both of whom lived In
this county, but have long since passed
the day for practical jokes. Mr.. Dix
on then kept a confectionery stand on
the north side of the public square.
His house was the general resort for
his free and easy acquaintance. who
were numerous. Among others who
frequented the rendezvous was a GER
tain Mr.. O., who had a practice of
taking the covers off the jars of candy
and helping himself to a handful of
the "kisses." and repairing to the
rear end of the room and munching
them while he conversed with those
present, This habit was
carried to such an ex
tent that Mr.. Dixon concluded to-
remedy it, and being notorious prac-
teal joker, fell upon the following
plan: He took the candy out of a
large number of papers and duplicat.
ed the kisses by small squares of rosin
soap. which were thoroughly rolled in
crushed sugar, and placed in the
wrappings taken off the candy, and
formed layer on top of the candy in
the jar. A number of gentlemen
were posted in regard to the joke
about TO be perpetrated, and they en-
tered into the joke with zest. They
did not have long to wait before Mr..
O. made his appearance, and, as Was
his wont, made dive for the candy
jar, taking as much as he could con-
veniently carry in his hand. He
took the papers off and inserted q
couple of the "kisses" in his mouth
and at once entered into the topic of
conversation, the crowd eagerly watch.
ing the expression of his countenance
in the meantime. He suddenly lost
all interest in bis subject, and was
observed to make hideous grimace.
He then threw his whole
efforts to the end of masticating the
tid.bits, while he grew extremely red
in the face. 1t was with difficulty
that his friends surprised their laugh
ter. He suddenly closed his jaws
upon the pieces of soap and they
refused to open again. The contor-
tons which passed over his face were
too ludicrous for the gentlemen pres
ent to longer restrain themselves, and
all burst into laughter. This enraged
Mr. O. greatly. and be readily