davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

A MANS funny-bone, we presume, en-
ables him to laugh in his sleeve Yonks,g
Statesman.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

To FIND out how old a lady is-ask some
other lady.-Ddnvilk Breeze.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

A WORK of fiction getting elected to Of
fee
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

A CHEAP thing in summer hats-a dudes
head. Philadelphia North An>ricdn
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

THE great West-Ben -jam.in.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

IT was getting mad that made Alexande
grate-hls teeth.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

AT what age do men usually wish to re-
tire from lifel Hermitage.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02
Tho Five Sisters.
There were ave fair sisters, and each had an


There we're Ave fair sisters, and each had an
aim
Flora would fam be fashionable dame;
Scholarly Susan's selection was books;
Coquettish Cora cared more for good looks;
Anna ambitious, aspired after wealth;
Sensible Sarah sought first for good health,
So she took DR.. Pierce's Gol1en Medical
Discovery and grew healthy and blooming.
Cora's beauty quickly faded; Susan's eye
sight failed from over-study Flora became
nervous and fretful in striving after fash
ion, and sickly family kept Annals hus-
band poor. But sensible Sarah grew daily
more healthy, charming and intelligent,
and she married rich.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

A BONE Felon-A person convicted Of
robbing a grave.-Dstroit Free Press.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

MAN whs has been flung over wharf,
ought to know wharf DER he speaks.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

A POPULAR military order-break rank
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS PLEASE
state that you saw the Advertisements In thi.
paper.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-07-02

eE TO So A DAY, Samples worth 81. 80
rMSH ERbE. Lines not under the horses feet. Wrfro
Wv BREWSTER SAFETY REIN HOLDER CO., Holly, Hleh.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Saved His Lie.

Mr.. d. !. Wilcoxson, of Horse Cave,
KY, says be was, for many years, badly
afflicted with Phthisic, also Diabetes; the
pains were almost uncomfortable and would
sometimes almost throw him into convul-
Sions. He tried Electric Bitters and go,
relief from first bottle and after taking six
bottles, was entirely cured, and had
gained in flesh eighteen pounds. Says he
positively belivee he would have died, had
it not been for the relief afforded by Elec-
trio Bitters. Sold at so cents bottle by
J. A. Rupert,
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Obstacles to Marriage.

Happy relief from Excuses in early
youth. Nervous debility and all
Chronic special diseases cured by the
New Treatment. Obstacles to mar
riage removed. Books, Circulars and
Reports sent free in sealed envelopes.
Address
Howard ASSOCIATION, PHILApEL-
PHIA, Pa. je23m6d&w
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10

-Oregonian: "You of the East
who are bawling land monopoly
just look this way. Here are millions
Of acres you can have just for the
trouble of coming to get them. Come
right along. No sense in squattiog
down in the Eastern cities and yell
ing land monopoly Come out here
and become 'aaonopolists' yourselves. "
Henry Georges paper please copy.)
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Buck lens Arnics EsIye,

The best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions.
and positively cures Piles. or no pay re-
quired. 1t ia guaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction, or money refunded. Price,
% cents box. For sale by j. A. Rupert
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
The lower house Of the Geos.

The lower house Of the Geor.
gis Legislature has passed, by 4 vote
Of l24 10 2, bill making it felony to
educate white and black children in
the came school. The two dissenters
were the only colored members of the
House. The unsnimisy OF the vote
shows that the bill meets with uni.
versal approval among the whites of
Georgia, and . similar measure will
be enacted in other Southern States.
1t is evident that the reaction which
has been expected for some years has
set in. 1t remains to be seen il it
will be Endorsed by the country. II
it should be most Of tho laws that
were placed on tho statute books to
secure equal rights to tbs colored
race will either DO repealed or set at
nsught by hostile legislation, and the
issues that were supposed to have
been settled by the war will again
agitate the country.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10

by the piece, z and Is cents each.
in lots OF 100, one.half OF above prices.
All of the above are generally pro.
nounced the best on tn. Pacific slope
and coast. They are well printed, on
csxtra,shiok paper, and gotten up so as
70 require the least possible writing.
'Fhay are specially adapted to Alturas
county, and cost less to record than
any other blanks of the same nature.
.Y-Partiss ordering by mail should
add t and ! cent per olauk. for post
age.
All orders should he addressed to
T. K. PICOTTE,
HALEY, Idaho.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Dissolution OF Co-partnership.

The eo-partnsrship heretofore existing In this
city, between the under igned under the name
and style Of Brown Mckay, is this day dissolved
by mutual consent, Dr. Mckay retiring from the
hrm. and being succeeded by DIR. A. b. Kibbe, Of
Shoshone.
DR.. Brown will collect all accounts due the late
nrin. and pay oil bills against the same relating
~ the practise Of medicine and surgery
n. J. BROWN, NJ. d.
wv. MCKAY u. d.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Manufacturers, Chemists, Governments,
Principalities or Powers,

are unable 10 dis prove the Statement every can
Of DeLand's Chemical Baking Powder MADE
OF PURE GRAPE CREAM TARTAR AND b.
TARB. SODA ONLY. No filing whatever"
CAUTIoN-Ese one fourth less Of this Baking
Powder and one-half less shortening with ali
recipes than With other Brands, a5tf
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
Critical analysis.

Critical analysis.
UNIVERSITY OF DEsEREr,)
Salt Lake City. Utah, June 8, 1887.
By carefully examining DeLand's Chemical
Baking Powder with this microscope aud with
chemical reagents. / hnd that Il Is free from
ALUM, STARCH. FLOUR, BONE ASH, AMMON-
IA AND WHITE EARTH; and that II consists
essentially Of Cream OF Tartar and Bi-Carbonate
OF Soda
The Baking Powder examined 1 purchased at
Barnes Davis, in this city,
J. t. KlNGsBURY, Chemist.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-08-10
De Land & Co. 5
BAKING POWDER
Best.

II goes 70 further, with less short.
ening than any other brand In the market.
It il ABSOLUTELY FREE Of any impurities,
and consists ENTIRELY OF PURE GRAPE
CREAM TARTAR AND BI-CARBONATE OF
SODA.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Lord" Wellington in Difficulty.

A French officer tells an amusing
anecdote in a recent number of the
'Revue Retrospective 1t was at the
time when the French army stood before
Torres Vedras, separated from the Eng
lish army by number of vineyards, IN
which there were a few caves containing
wine. The soldiers of both armies
drank fraternaliy from these stores,
without ever coming in conflict. One
day, however, a French sergeant was
English soldiers, who took him into
their camp and conducted him to the
Duke of Wellington. After a few
questions the sergeant was ordered to
leave, but would not stir.
$50 along" said the General. No
movement, but the brusque reply,
General, your soldiers had no right to
make me their prisoner" ''And how is
that ~ GLOW is that 1t is this way.
The cave being neutral ground they had
no more right TO capture me than | had
to capture them. They took advantage
of my isolation. Soldiers ought to have
more manners among themselves"
'Was that the way you were taken
prisoner ~ ''Yes, General" "Very
well, you shall dine with my attendants
and go where you came from" But
the Frenchman still refused to move.
"Have you not heard what l said, SER
geant 2" ''Oh, yes, General l have
heard it all, but | do not wish to 90
with your attendant. ''And why not2"
"Because no French soldier ever eats
eats with domestic servants" Lord
Wellington, with bow and sign of
assent, took the hint, ordered another
convert to be laid at his own table and
invited the French sergeant to dinner
Pal Nall Gazette.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Sh9d With Gold.

In the year 1855 a storkeeper named
Donald Cameron carrying on business
af Woolshed, Australia, was elected first
member of parliament for the ovens dis
trict and he had the honor unique in
the history of the colony-of being
driven in triumph from the Woolshed
into Beechworth in a gig, with tandem
team, the leading horse of which was
shod with gold. An old resident of the
district has favored me with the follow.
ing particulars of the occurrence "Just
before the election an eccentric indl-
vidual known as tinker Brown,
who had made lot of money
On the digging, suddenly purchas
ed a circus, with tents, horses, wag-
ons, etc, complete and coming into
Beechworth with his company, he
offered to drive the newly elected mem
Der, and supply golden horseshoes tor
the occasion. The Woolshed bosses, ,
who were greatly elated at the result of
the election, warmly took up Browns s
idea, and they resolved, in addition, to
present their member with q diamond
scarfpln. The horseshoes were made by
a working jeweller named TOfeld, and
weighed nine ounces each. j he team
was riven from Woolshed to Beech
orth. and back as far as La Serena hill.
On removing the shoes of the leader Ga
piebald circus horse they were found
to have lost total of one and three
quarter ounces. Before Tinker Brown
died he wiIled them to a married daugh-
ter keeping public house at Wagga
Wagga. They were in existence until
about four years ago, when the owner
had them melted and turned into SOW
ereigns."
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
An FgOtis',

The vanity which seeks for notoriety
at second hand was very prettily illus
trated in the horse cars the other even.
ing. On the way home from the play a
man was talking to his neighbor, but
obviously at the entire company of pas
sengers.
Yes" he said, "Barrett was won
derfulIy fine to night. After all, there's
no one like him He's a capital fellow,
too, and he's sort of relative of mine.
Same name; and 1 suppose if you went
back far enough in the Barrett stock
you'd find where the two branches came
together. He always comes to see me
when he is in town"
The speaker swelled himself with con-
sequence as he proceeded with the emu
meration Of his claims TO greatness,
while those of the passengers who had
heard that Lawrence Barrett was name
assumed long since the actors christen'
ing, smiled with pity or scorn accord
ing to their temperament
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Amateur TheatricaIs.

The man or woman who once sue
cumbs to the appetite for amateur the
atricals becomes a menace to society.
The bite of the tarantula, which forces
the victim to dance madly until death
stops his agitated legs, is not so terrible
rs the virus of amateur theatricals, which
forces the wretched stage struck person
to spout and strut and initiate stage
actions until he finds himself in the
divorce court or lunatic asylum. 1t is
an easy step from "recitations" to the
amateur stage and then onward The
young woman who recites inevitably
becomes stage struck, and in the end
may be found prowling about the house
at night with candle in her hand as
Lady Macbeth, to the terror of the
household The young man who spouts
Hamlet" is almost always lured away
to some quiet spot and gently murdered
by the neighbors All spOuters become
pestilential sooner or later; yet the un-
happy ending of their career does not
deter others from following in their
footsteps. Chairs of elocutlon in the
schools should be prohibited on the
same theory that saloons are prohibited
in Maine.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
How to Build a Fort.

Bessemer, the steel man, in his plan
for seashore Notifications proposes to
make solid steel enclosure, impeuetra-
BILE to the heaviest artillery that can be
carried and handled on shipboard. This
kind of fort is to be cast in one solid
piece ty erecting Bessemer furnaces on
the ground to be enclosed and pouring
the molten steel into brick mould of
the size and shape OF the PE0PYSca r01sh-
fcation instead of casting the plates
and fastening them together as an outer
shield as is now done. The advantages
claimed for this system are great saw
ing in the cost of construction as COM
paled with the present method of armor-
plating, greater solidity than is obtain
able by piece work, and more perfect
construction of the necessary openings,
these being cast as a part of the fort
itself. AS to the cost, that can be de-
termined with the utmost accuracy. 1t
will be exactly the cost of Bessemer
steel, say e3 los. per ton. The process
is extremely simple. "Let us take" he
says, "as simple example the produc.
ton of fort with a curved face 100
feet in length, 16 feet high, and 3 feet
in thickness. Such a plate would be
ordinary iron foundries, that is, with
brick walls held together with iron
binders and internally lined with fire
clay. Alongside this mould would be
placed the melting cupolas and four fixed
twenty ton Bessemer converters, each
capable of turning out eighteen charges
per day of twenty four hours, thus de-
iivering into the mould one ton of mol
ten steel per minute. At this rate of
working the mould would be filled in
sixteen hours, and produce a single
plate weighing 960 tons, requiring no
backing or superstructure for its sup
port, and no expens We fitting together
of separate parts, and having all its
ports and loopholes formed in the re-
quired position by the act of casting"
10 avoid the static pressure in the
mould, tending to burst it at the bottom,
he proposes that the filling shall be done
slowly, so that the metal will solidify in
the lower part, only leaving few inches
of fluid at the upper part. He remarks
in conclusion that he has now no pecu-
mary interest whatever in the manufac-
ture of Eessemer steel.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Shelters for 0utcasts.

The town council of Paris has lately
opened several night shelte s, each OF
which has accommodation for several
hundred outcasts. When applicants
arrive at these homes, where they may
remain several days at time, they get
a thorough overhauling in bath, and
are then given fresh outfit and a bowl
of soup. There are three other night
refugees belonging to the Euvre de
IHospitalite de Mutt established in 1878.
This work is kept up by voluntary
contributions. 1t receives cast-off cloth
ing, bread, and all sorts of crumbs from
rich mems tables for distribution. In
addition to providing nightly lodging
for the miserable. it receives the con
valscent from hospitals, and finds places
for those who are willing to work.
Last year it received 1000 homeless
creatures, many of whom remained for
several consecutive nights. Of these
so, 900 were French, 3, 221 German, 2, 112
Belgian, $50 Swiss, 6O2 Italian, and 70
English. Over 10000 pieces of bread
and $4,000 bowls of soup, or other
rations, were served and Is, 900 articles
of clothing distributed. The total
expense was $780, 900.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
We Have Bunker Hill.

When Mr.. William Atkinson, the
farmer philosopher of Maine, was in
Quebec he visited the citadel. He thus
tells the story:
can officer" he said "detailed a man
to show me around, and he took me
everywhere Noticing small black
cannon half hidden by the snow, as |
was about to 60, said in fun, 4 guess
I'll take it away with me y
"'Go look at the inscription on the
BREACH said the soldier laughing"
II looked and read:
"Taken at the battle of Bunker Hill,
June II, 1775.'
II saw the soldier had m. It stirred
my blood and l wanted to make fit
reply. read the inscription over again
to gain time Tears came to my eyes.
Young man. said to him, you've
got the cannon, but we've got Bunk er
HILL"
The patriotic son of Maine turned red
and actually crled again as he repeated
the story.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Can't Identify His Own Wife.

A most curious divorce case has been
commenced in Ann Arbor, Mich. Decem
Der 16 last John Austin McHale and
Harriet Bennett were married. After
three days OF welded bliss the wife left
for Detroit, leaving her trunk behind as
security for board bill. McHale is an
Englishman, short, deaf and wears
glasses. He came to the hospital here
for treatment, after working as a COM
positor in the Argus office. On Decem-
Der % Robert Shirer and Belle Bennett
were married, she going to work waiting
on table in a boarding house. After
McHales spouse left him he went to
board at the house where this seco d
bride was working, and thought that
the girl who waited on him was his
wife. He was not positive about it,
however, but the two resembled each
other remarkably The girl would not
recognize him, but when he discovered
that she had gold watch exactly like
the one his wife had he was no longer
in doubt and made up his mind to sue
for divorce The outcome of the di-
vorce case, in which the husband is not
able to identify his own wife, will be
watched with much interest.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
As Good as Buck-shO

There was big icicle hanging on the
cornice just over a store door on Mich
igan avenue yesterday, and as the wealth
er softened up and people became afraid
to enter the building the proprietor
came out to a crowd on the sidewalk to
see what could be done.
Somebody light hit it from the
roof" suggested one.
"Or you might get one of the long
fire ladders" observed a second.
81 think charge of buck shot would
bring it down." said third man as he
closed his left eye and took long
squint.
A b Y about twelve years old came
along lust then, and when he under
stood the situation he inquired OF the
grocer
"Will you give feller a nickel to
get her down."
eyes, five of 'em."
"Bully! Gimme 'tater!"
A good sized potato was handed him,
and he stepped back into the street,
peeled of his coat and sent the tuber
whizzing 1t struck the icicle at the
butt and brought it down with crash,
and as the crowd cheered the bow pock
eted his quarter and humbly observed ::
Wonder what they thought boy
was made fur anyhow? ?"-Detrot Free
Press.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
ONE FOR KALAMAZOO.
(From The Chicago News. }

FROM Inc CnlcagO News.
There comes to us a good story illul-
trating the freakish generosity of Cos
onel Frank Stockbridge, the Michigan
| millionaire who has just been elected to
the United States enate. Just about
a year ago, Mr.. Sidney Wollett, the sci
entiic Englishman, gave a series of en-
tertainments in Chicago which proved
so unsuccessful in financial way that
Mr.. Wollett had to draw on his bank
account for 81, 700 in order to make
good the deficiency. Col Stockbridge,
it seems, had met Wollett and had taken
a fancy to him; when, therefore, he
head of the Chicago fasco, he ex-
pressed great Indignation, and going to
Wollett, he said why do you waste
your time, your talents, and your money
in trying to do anything in a town where
there is neither culture nor respect for
culture? Now let me make a date for
you in one of our Michigan towns a
town that know to be chuck full of
culture, appreciation. enterprise, money,
and everything of that kind; let me
make date for you in that town and
I'll guarantee that your engagement will
be profitable one"
Mr. Wollett was only too glad to ac-
cede to the proposition, and he bade
Colonel Stockbridge go ahead with the
scheme. Thereupon Colonel Stock
bridge fastened back to Kalamazoo,
rented the local opera house, billed the
Wollett readings all over the county,
bought up the whole house, and sent
agents around town giving away tickets
to those Of the best citizens who would
promise positively to be present at the
entertainment To give more eclat to
the occasion, Colonel Stockbridge
brought Mr.. Felix Moscheles, the famous
English artist, from Chicago ON special
traiu, and entertained him with Mr..
Wollett in the most princely fashion.
There was a public reception, brass
band concert, street parade, and other
doings of that character. Well, when
the VI ollett affair came off the opera
amazoo was there; yes, and the people
came in from the surrounding country
in farm wagons-Colonel Stockbridge
paid the bills, it was his treat, and the
enthusiasm was immense.
After it was all over Stockbrldge said
toWollett: "when you come West again
don't fool around Chicago, but come
right to Kalamazoo. Chicago is simply
a big factory town, where everybody is
on the make, but here in Kalamazoo
there is more culture than in fifty Chi
cagosm
Mr.. Wollett doesn't know to this day
the secret of his Kalamazoo triumph.
The last wo1ds he said to Stockbridge
were these: 'NIy friend Whistler is 60
ing to visit America next year. I'll tell
him about Kalamazoo and warn him
against Chicago"
That's right" said Stockbridge,
''send him along. Kalamazoo people
are mighty found of music, and if your
friend can whistle alongside of some OF
our home talent he'll get the biggest
kind of an ovation here!"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-02-24
Advertising Rates.
ROBIN AND ROBIN.

On, Robin, you sit on your perch and sing,
Or the water about from your dish you fling,
Or scatter the berries, you frolicsome thing,
And the saucer turn fitting over.
robin, you darling, love you much;
But there Is another whose slightest touch
And falntest whisper my heart can thrill,
And whose eyes can fiutter me at his will,
And, robin, that's Robin my lover
Your cage is gilded and builded fine;
There strength and an airy grace combine;
but It's not so rare as the cage of mine
Which Robin is building to hold me.
And soon shall sit with folded wing,
And my very soul to its depths will sing;
And though it may rain, or though it ma.
snow,
What shall care if it do, or no,
While his loving arms enfold me?
OF all the birds on the tree or in nest
The robins the one that love the best,
With his homely pIunage and oehrey breast
But Robin my lover was dearer
When he told of his love TO my thirsty ear,
With only the listening angels near,
And his soul sought mine with long, long
And my heart beat quick in my speechless
bliss,
And heaven somehow seemed nearer.
The lush grass grows of an emerald hue,
The river is tinged with a beautiful blue,
And the sunbeams print with a rainbow tint
The sky that is spreading above me;
The rivlllet laughs as it onward trips,
The diamonds flash where the water dips;
And never storm and never a cloud
May sweep the vale, or the sky enshroud,
While Robin is here TO love me.
o Robin, my Robin, your steps 1 hear,
With a silvery sound they are drawing near,
And the music they make to my ravished ear
The portal of joy uncloses.
L long for your glances my life to bless;
yearn for your tender and fond caress-
On, the very ground that your footsteps press
Is covered with lilies and roses!
THOMAS DUNN ENGLISH