The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-10-08
THE DAY AFTER

wild shotguns Why, kurnel, yer must be
a dreamin'."-7eras SJtings
THE DAY AFTER
recollect the dazzling light,
Her timid glances of alright
When once mentioned fire;
can't forget her mothers laugh,
can't forget the darlings chat,
Ditto the carriage hire.
l wondered could l run my life
With such u creature for wife,
And have to clothe and boot her;
fancied when held her hood
That twas sterling question, would
An honest sutton suit her?
But that was all last night; the sky
This morn Is dark and clouds roll by
While cars and trucks are dragging;
doubt not she can understand
go 70 business, stick In hand,
Upon this old ice wagon.
Upon imaginary wine
And dishes must this frame Of mine
Subsist until tomorrow,
Unless dame Fortune smiles ON me
And aids my mercenary Flea
When attempt to borrow.
The convict lease system is great
question before the people of Georgia
now" observed the Judge. I'm fact, may
say it Is the most important question"
YES" replied the Major, tits queer, too,
that the lease question should become the
greatest. "-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
GOOD graclous!" exclaimed lady visi.
tor to the sporting editors room, as with
terror In her eyes, she made dart tor the
door; ais there murder going on outside ?"
"Be calm, madam" said the sporting
editor with gentle smile, ut Is nothing.
1t Is only the religious editor swearing
over his proofs.-BOStOn Courier.
He Wanted Proof.-Female: l ss-see
th.th-that y-yyou ad-vv-vertise f-f-for a
s-sstuttering female.
Newspaper Clerk-Yes, ma am.
Female-W.w-well, l s-s.stutter.
Newspaper Clerk-Well, ma'am, can't
take your word for It, fill out this blank
affidavit, please.-Iid Bits.
A man at Belvidere, ILL.,, placed a rock
ON q railroad track and then tagged
q train that was rushing upon the
obstacle. In return for his services he
asked the railroad company to give him a
position. The company did so; he has a
position In the penitentiary. This beautl.
full tale of heroism and gratitude probably
will never find Its way into the story books
for children-Chicago Neaos.
A condemned criminal noticed among
the spectators standing In the front row
W. 20 ho Nm <Io xpk~ <o1r
possession of the condemned Immediately
after the execution is over for examination
purposes He bowed politely to him, and
saluting him gracefully by waving his
hand to him, called out: "a toute a
Pheure" Gn minute at your service.)-
Patsbury Chronicle.
Bagley-It Is passing strange how so
many words get twisted from their original
meaning For instance, "let" used to mean
"hinder'
Mrs. Bagley-I have better example.
Collect" used to mean ito gather
Bagley (surprised)-That's what 1t means
now.
Mrs. Bagley (positively)-No, 1t doesn't.
Ask the garbage collector-Philadelphia
CAL.
French joke: A miser undergoes med
ical examination and then says doctor,
bow much are you going to stick me for ?"
"Not centime," says the doctor. IRE.
ceive my thanks, but really you are too
generous! I don't know that l ought"
"Oh, never mind" says the doctor, "your
heirs will pay me-"
Tommy with sore throat)-Mamma, il
hurts me to eat.
Fond Mother-Well, then, Tommy,
wouldn't eat.
Tommy (discouragingly)-But it hurts
me worse to 60 without
Evarts-There are ten minutes to spare
before train time. Let me make a propo
sition to you.
Miller--Don't begin it, Senator; you'll
surely be late If you do.
Old Observer already see an indica.
ton of the approaching success of the Pro.
hibition party.
Straight-out Democrat--You do! What
Is it?
Old Observer-The new style derby hat
The Chicago Daily Ne0s in speaking of
base ball enthusiasts has the following,