The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1887-07-14
WILD BILL, OF KANSAS
killing Two Soldiers in TwInklIug.
but Hesitating at a Monkey.

killing Two Soldiers in TwInklIng.
but Hesitating at a Monkey.
ssWild Bill was good shot, was he
notr'
"With the six shooter he was simply
wonderful. in my entertainment give
an illustration of q double shot he made
out at Hays City, Kan, In the early days,
when he shot two soldiers, one in front OF
him and one directly behind him, each en-.
deavoring to shoot him before he could
draw his gun. He killed one and NOR
tally wounded the other, and the two re-
ports of the revolver seemed almost as
one. The marvellous feat was the talk OF
the country for O long time. In TACT,
when came by there few days ago one
of the old residents who witnessed the
killing mentioned it to me and said he
could scarcely believe it even after seeing
1t. Bill never missed his mark. hava
seen him take O pistol in each hand and
fire with right and left pistol at q can
thrown in the air, hitting 1t with both
bullets. BY the way, heard a very
funny story told on Bill some time ago.
If you remember, he married Mrs. Agnes
Lake, widow of Lake, the circus man.
Bill fairly worshiped his wife, but de-
spite his great love for her she never
could induce him to quit drinking. He
would come home full Of bad whisky, and
one day Mrs. Hickok said to him:
bill, if you don't quit this drinking
pretty soon you will actually begin to see
monkeys
/" .Monkeysf' said he What do you
mean, little one"
't why, you know, when people back
east drink too much of the kind of whisky
they get back there they see snakes, but
this awful stuff out here makes them see
monkeys.
"Bill laughed at her and did not give
the matter second thought, little dream.
ing that she had 'put'up job to break
him of his Incorporate habits. There was
a tame monkey in the town-Cheyenne, I
believe it was-and Mrs. Hickok had in
duced its owner to loan 1t to her for
night. Bill came home that night COM
Portable drunk, and after he had gone to
sleep his wife secured the monkey and
chained 1t to the foot of the bed. Then
turning down the light a little, she too
retired and awaited results. Bill woke
up in the night burning with thirst and
raised up into sitting posture, intending
to get out Of bed and get drink Of water.
There, perched up on the footboard, was
the monkey, staring him in the face with
hideous grimaces. He rubbed his bleared
eyes, looked again, and horrible suspi-
cion came into his befuddled brain. Had
his wife told him the truth! Did he really
have 'em? Finally, he sprang out on the
floor, seized his six shooter, which lay on
o table near, leveled 1t at the grinning
creature, and said:
"sNow, old man, If you are monkey
you're in o bad fix; If you amt monkey
I'm in bad fix At the same instant he
fired and the monkey fell over in tho ago
nies of death. His wife, who had been
watching the working Of her scheme,
sprang up in tho bed.With scream, and
Bill, turning to her with broad smile of
the most intense satisfaction, said:
Little woman, congratulate me, for
I have just had q wonderful escape. J.
amt as drunk as 4 thought was, and
there's monkey. lyin' there on the floor
:sthat'u never intrude itself into the do
-mestic felicy of another happy family an
make gentleman think he's got the jim
jams. Capt. Jack Crawford in Kansas
City Times. ms