The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-20
BRIGHT BITS.

81 SAY, my man, are those grapes fresh?'
"Oh yah, schust picked.
well, now, how about the chickens"
Dem is schust picked, too '-Harper's Bnzdr
Mr.. PRzYBYLowIcz is a prominent politician
in Leavenworth, Kan. If he were TO take the
kinks out of his name by running it through
clotheS-wringer he would be more pronounced
success. --NorriStO,eR Herald
$50 YOUR FATHER was in the war; said he.
yes he was killed at the battle of Bull Run, "
she replied.
"Where-er-waS he Shot?'
He wasn't shot at all. He broke his neck
running down the hill. War is an awful cruel
thing, don't you think so?'-Neto York Mail
AN IRIsuMAN, writing to his wife, who was still
in could Ireland began his letter by making
the following surprising statement: It's a fone
counthry, Bridget, an no mistake. We tins day
put phwat they call an inShOorance on me loife,
an If I'd fall down a ladder wild me hod an
break me neck to-mOrry begorra an IA get $50
wake as long as I'm dead. It's fOine coun-
thry; that's phwat it is. Detroit Free Press.
WHEN President Hayes occupied the White
House Mrs Hayes saw n little girl gazing about
in the East Room one morning and went up to
her with outstretched hands, saying: What is
your name little gir?" Dora, was the reply.
to see you" You'd be gladder, - said the child,
IF you knew / was from Ohio" Mrs. HAYES
enjoyed the joke as much as any one.-BoSton
Budget.
"How's cotton now, boss?n called a Mont
gomery negro from his wagon to a broker on
the curbstone.
Very steady, Joshua-very steady"
"Hu. Don't she go up or down.
mo. It's a very steady market"
"Hu! When sold dat ole mule an bought
cotton fuchers, de staple bobbed up one day an
bobbed doSyn dc next, an at last was bobbed
out Of de last shillin' had. Mighty Gurus dat
as soon as was dun cleaned out all de bobbin'
stopped short of.n-VGU Street Ne,cs.
by the Legislature Of bill restoring the whip
ming post for the punishment of wife beaterS
Up in B-a good many years ago new family
moved into a house on an isolated road. They
had had the benefit of city culture, and some of
their ways seemed peculiar TO their new neigh
bors One day Aunt Eunice,'' good old soul
whose life had been spent in single blessedness
went to call on the newcomers but did not
stop. AS fast as her feet could carry her she
FASTENED to the house of the town squire.
Squire Sim, there's awful carrying on at s.
You must go right down"
whats the matter, Aunt Eunice?"
Il dunno, Squire, but see him throw kettle
at his wife, and come right after you"
Lord massy Eunice, they all do that, they
all do that" was Squire Sims curt dismissal of
the case-COncord IN. H0 Monitor.
Now melodious and brazen toots the ''little Ger
Now "Buy a lobr' or "Hol-i- butt" resounds
throughout the land
The organ grinder grindeth and the base ball
CluD Is seen.
Likewise the tender violet and dandelion greens.
Now blow the cherry blossoms and the lilac gins
to bud,
Now flow the patent medicines for cleansing of
the blood;
The poet poetizeS upon the gentle spring,
Both bicycle and tricycle. are now upon the
wing;
Now brand-new maple sugar from another
seasons stock,
And now the beer too-tonic which the bibulous
call book
Now the sunlight dances gayly upon ocean,
lake and river
But whether life is worth living now depends
upon the liver Boston Globe.