Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-11-03
The UNSALTED MAN.
An Individual Who Can Be Found Hvoey
WHARF and 1t All Times.

a. r.,a,v,du.l who Can BE Found Evof1.
whore aud 1t All Times.
Probably the best-natured mar lever
knew, and at the same time tho read
lest provoker of i'll temper in Others,
was John E. Phresh. There was hardly
ANYTHING that Phresh could not do in
the way of accommodation. He would
work himself into utter exhaustion.
quite disinterestedly and without ask
ing or hoping for reward. at. any and
at all times. and for anybody that hap
pened to be in the way. 1t was held.
however. by some ungracious ones that
he merely did these things because they
gave him opportunities of being obnox-
ious.
And then such spirits! Wherever
you found him, in the social gathering.
in the public street. at wedding. or at
a funeral. his presence was like city set
upon hill. and his voice was always
20 be heard. ringing out loudly and
merrily. Indeed. it not seldom hap
pened that his Obviousness became so
painful Cor the best things in life tire
through safety that an attempt was
made to subdue him. Vain attempt!
He was like a well-infiated football.
which bounds aloft in direct ration
to the force with which you beat
it to the earth. The more you sought
to suppress him. the more surely and
the more obstreperOusly did he assert
himself. l have met Phresh far out in
the quiet country at the midnight hour,
when all was still, and l have seen him
surrounded by bass drums and loud
mouthed brazen instruments, and in
the latter, equally as in the former
case did his voice fill the surrounding
space.
And then he was so free and uncOn-
ventional. There was nothing surly
or deserved in Phresh's composition.
Not bit of it. Shame-facedness was
not his failing. Neither was there
aught of formality or rigidity in his
address. 1t was wonderful to see how
he got on with a stranger. His man.
ner was as breezy as a Western cyclone
and as fresh as the waters of our great
lakes. If the stranger had name
that could be abbreviated, Phresh knew
it instinctively, and be he stranger
never so much exalted in position and
never SO eminent in attachments,
Phresh in five minutes time was
Decking or Tomming or lacking him
with an easy lightness that was really
marvellous. 1t is held by Phresh's ac-
quaintances that Phresh will not be
in Heaven half an hour before he will
be hObnObbing with the celestial host in
his Old-time artless manner and address,
ing st. Peter as Pete and making
the golden streets resound with the
sound of Gabe when he would attract
the attention of the Angel Gabriel.
And right here it is proper to remark
that nobody who knew Phresh ever
doubted that Phresh is sure to bring up
in the better land. At all events, if he
should fail to secure an entrance, it
would be the first time he was thwarted
in an attempt to enter place where he
wanted to get in.
An enemy would. no doubt. charac-
terize Phresh as lOud-mOuthed,
empty-headed ass, at most times pain
fully officious, and at all times pesti-
lential nuisance; and yet, as 1 have al
ready said, Phresh was the soul of
good nature. His appearance. to be
sure. was against him. But whether it
was from some hereditary faint or
merely through excess of animal spir-
its, it was the hope of the more SAN
guine of his acquaintance friends he
had money that he might cool off in
time and remotely resemble the ordin-
airy. everyday specimen of the genus
homo; that he might cease to be the fly
in humanity's pot of ointment, the
aloes in its cup of happiness, and the
black cloud which covers the face of
its sun of joy; that, in short, he might
be purged of his freshness and of his
officiOusness be vOided
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