The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-14
MARK TWAIN AS A SOLDIER.
uis Part in the Bloodiest Battle Ever
Fought in Human History.

The following is from The BaH,mor re
american report of tho twenty-sec-
ond anniversary of the Veteran as
ISOLATION of Maryland:
mark Twain then responded TO the
toast, The Campfire lie was greet
cd with cheers and applause.
when your secretary invited me to
lhiS reunion of the union veterans of
Maryland, he requested me to come
prepared to clear up matter which he
said had long been subject of dispute
and bad blood in war circles in this
c0untry-to wit, the true dimensions
of NV military services in the civil war
aud the effect which they had upon the
general result. recognize the impor-
lance of this thing to history, and l
have come prepared. Here are the
details. | was in the civil war two
weeks In that brief time | rose from
private to second lieutenant The
monumental feature of my campaign
was the one battle which my command
Fought WAS in the summer OF 81.
III do say il. ii was the bloodiest bat
Gle ever fought in human
history; there is nothing approach
ing it for the destruction of human life
in the field, if you take in considera-
ton the forces engaged and the proper
of death to survival. And yet you do
not even know the name of that battle.
Neither do |. 1t had name but have
frgot(cn it. 1t is no use to keep up
private information which you can't
show of Now look at the way history
does. Ii takes the battle of Boon
vile, fought near by about the date OF
our slaughter, and shouts its teeth
loose over it, and yet never mentions
ours; don't even call it an affair
doesn't call it anything at all; never
even heard OF it. Whereas, what are
the facts? Why, these: In the battle
of Boonvillc there were 1000 men en-
gagged on the Union side and about as
many on the othcr-supposed to be.
The casualties, all told, were two men
killed, and not all of these were killed
outright, but only half of them, for the
other man died in the hospital next
day. | know that because his great
uncle was second cousin to my grand
father, who spoke three languages and
was perfectly honorable and upright
though he had warts all over him, and
used to-but never mind about that,
fhc facts are just rs | say, and can
prove it. Two men killed in the battle
of Boonyille, that's the whole result
all the others got away-on both sides.
Now then, in our battle there was just
fifteen men engaged on our side,
all brigadier generals but me,
and was second lieutenant. On
the other side there was one man. He
was stranger. We killed him. 1t
was night and we thought he was an
army of observation-in fact he looked
bigger than an army of observation
would in he day time; and some of us
believed that he was trying to surround
us, and some thought he was going to
try to turn our position, and so we
shot him. Poor fellow, he probably
wasn't an army of observation, after
all. but that WASH our fault; as | say,
he had the look of il in that dim light
IL was a sorrowful circumstance, but he
took the chances oil war aud lac drew
the wrong card; he oyerestimated his
fighting strength, and he suffered the
likely result; but he fell as the brave
should fall-with his face 10 the foe
and feet to the feld-so we buried him
with the honors of war and took his
things. So began and so ended the
only battle in the history of the world
where the opposing force was utterly
exterminated swept away from the face
OF the earth-to the last man. And yet
YOU don know the name of that battle;
you don't eSen know the name of that
man. Now, then, for argument. Sup
pose had continued in the war, and
gone on as began, and exterminated
the opposing force every time-every
two weeks-where would your war
have been? Why you see Yourself,
the conflict would have been one
sided. There was but one honorable
course for me to pursue aud | pursued
il withdrew TO private life and
gave the union cause a chance. There,
NOW Won have the whole thing ia a nut