Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1887-09-10
PITH AND POINT.

AA4A AND kVlNTe
How MANY peas are there in . pint
One p.
EXPOSED to many q trying situation
The juryman.
MARRYING by proxy is what may be
considered proxy-mate bliss.
A DUTCHMAN repeated the adare-
Birds NIT one fodder goes mid DEM
selves"
CANADA is the cheese!" slaneiIv
cries an exchange. It may bet NAV
be-lots of shippers there.
A MUsTARD-PLAsTERi Is not verv no
etic subject, but, ali, how warmly it APP
peals to mans feelings.
NOTHING goes so fast as time. so
they say; and yet there are plenty of
men who find no trouble in passing it.
AN exchange thinks there ought to be
q change in the marriage ceremony.
Leave the marriage ceremony alone
it is all rite.
SEVERAL people are laying claim to
the first greenback ever issued, when
everybody knows that the first green
back ever issued was the frog.
HE-Dese heah kears are mighty
dangerous, and hits mostly de las
kear what's smashed up. She-Why
don't dey leave off de las kear, den?"
IT is very difficult for a lady to enter
and leave carriage properly. 1t re-
quires practive and carriage. The
carriage is the hardest part to acquire.
HE obviously Miss Jones, do you
ever put your hair up in curl-papers?
She Gndignantly)-No, sir! never. He
(tenderly)-Miss Jones, will you marry
me?
SHE-I like this place immensely
since they have the new French chef.
He (weak in his French, but gener-
Gus to fault Waitah, bring chef for
two!
ONE of the teachers in the school at
Hampton, Va, recently asked one Of
the Indian pupils what TBS. stood for.
Elbows, 1 guess" was the unexpected
reply.
HENRY BERGH has thirteen printed
rules on "How to approach kicking
horse" If man forgets one of them
for the hundredth part of second he
is goner.
Brown detest that fellow Grape.
Jones-The undertaken? Brown
Yes. He is all the time talking shop.
Every time he meets me he inquiries
after my health.-Neao York Mail
FIRST Kansas Woman-I didn't see
you down at the caucus last night"
Second Kansas Woman-No, couldn't
get away. John wasn't feeling well,
and I had to clear off the table and
wash the dishes. -Tid-Bits.
An elderly wit called to present his
congratulations to new York bank
president on the latter's birthday.
"Well, my FRIEND" said the wit, show
old are you?" "Seventy-five. Hum,
seventy five; we'll 1 hope you'll rise to
par"
MARIA, what did you do with that
pie that was left from dinner yester-
day? ?" "Threw it over the alley fence"
"Just like you. Jim Sharkley's two
dogs are dead this morning and he ac-
cuses me of poisoning them. Brook
lynn Eagle.
At a negro wedding in this city
short time ago when the words Glove,
honor, and obey" were reached the
groom interrupted the preacher and
said: "Read that again, sab; read it
wunce NOR, SOS de lady kin ketch the
full solemnity oh de meanin,. Use
been married befo'. "-Grifin (Ga)
Times.
If some men would only put the
same amount of enthusiasm into saving
wood that they put into sitting on a
plank and watching nineteen men play
ball their wives could kindle the
kitchen fire every twenty minutes
through the twenty-four hours and still
have kindlings to spare.-Journal of
Mrs. YoUNGBRIDE HONEYMOON to
husband, who is railroad PRESIDENT
And are You sure you will always. al
ways love me more than you will any
one else? Mr.. Honeymoon (absently)
-Impossible to say. You see, it is
very doubtful whether the Interstate
law will allow me to make any discrim-
nation Bazaar.
OMAHA DRUGGIST = That was q
strange blunder in Washington, wasn't
It? Kansas Druggist Il didn't
hear of it. "You didn't? Why, q
prominent druggist there killed him
self by taking drink of aconite in
mistake for whisky" "Well, he ought
10 have known better than to keep
1rugs in his stock. They are danger
ous things. "-On,ahd World
Copper.