The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1887-12-30
MIR. BIRDS UMBRELLA.
BY r. W. ROBINSON.

eruption IN russell square, to convince me
even forcibly that must have been dream
ing, as sat up in bod, and rubbed my eyes
and listened. Then-Bangl bangl bangi-
rat-a-tat-a-tat-ata tat-a-tat-a-tat-a tat - Bang
Yes, there was somebody evidently knock.
ing at the street door, hanging by the street
door knocker, and throwing his whole soul
into the instrument-the house was on fire
perhaps, or we were wanted next door at
Brian's or a lunatic had escaped, and was
clamoring for admittance, straight waistcoat
and all, or else the up stairs dodgers had come
back prematurely from their visit to
Tunbridge, and were anxious to get in
out of the rain, which was coming down
with vehemence that was certainly
startling. / could surmse nothing
more at "A moments notice and at 2:30 in the
morning.
We all slept very soundly in No. 10 Pross-
ter street, Prossiter place, Russell square,
Bloomsbury, for we worked very hard at
No. TO- and the house was a large ono. 1t
was a house Of many lodgers-parlor floor
first floor and second floor-and all com
fortably let, and those dodgers who were at
home were all fast asleep, or else waiting for
me, the poor, weakly proprietor of the es
Enlistment Jane Neild, at your service,
gentle reader, age %, and an orphan with an
establishment on her mind, and a living to
get out of the establishmenn, to call to the
servants bridget, able bodied, general"
aged 40, and frightful temper, and Sarah,
aged IL, child with chronic cold and red
nose, but handy as help TO Bridget) to get
up and sec what was the matter at No 10, or
with the party outside No. 10 who was
"kicking up such a deuce of a row.
That was the way it was put at last by
Capt. Choppers, my drawing room floor, an
irritable old gentlennan--not to say violent
when roused-who came out on the landing
at last in an attire which Bridget told me
afterwards was far from decorous, and began
bawlins vociferously up the staircase the
names Of each of my maids in turn conclud-
ing with my own name in shrek of sheer
despair. ..
"Miss Neild-hsre, SAYS everybody
deadi Miss N-e-e-e-ildl"
"Bless my soul, captain, what is it nowr"
/ cried through the crack in my door.
Don't you hear that Internal noise down
stairs, madami Who the deuce is it at this
time Of night, who the-what do you say,
MADAME
"lm going to open the window and inquire
unless you"--
Its no business of mine Miss Neild,"
bawlsd the captain. ~ don't expect any
body-Tm not going into the drawing room
at this time Of night, with my cold. I'm dis
turbed enough, as it is, through your being
oil so diabolically deaf. shall leave this
day week, ma'am. Therel"
And slam went the back drawing room
door, and crick crack went the key in the
ir scible captains lock. l was in my dress
ing room, with a flannel garment, which
take the liberty here of calling a "muffier,n
V v:pped round my head and shoulders and
a. went toward the window, trembling,
must say, in every limb, the knocking w.1
repeated for the third time, and with thre,
fold vigor, born of the delay and irritation
to past summonses.
waited until there was silence again, or
nearly silence-for l could distinctly hear
Capt Choppers loading all his frearms--and
then opened the widow, and peered into the
damp, shiny street, which the wind and rain
had all to themselves, with the exception of
dark figure on my top step, whose hat l
could see was as shiny as the pavement.
"What is itp l inquired; but the wind
whisked my voice into Museum street, and
had to repeat the inquiry in a shrill falsetto.
Tho man below paused with his hand to the
knocker again-for he was just going to be-
gin afresh-listened, and then ran down the
steps and stood on the edge of the curbstone,
with his hands behind him, looking up at me
at last. l could make nothing of him in the
darkness from my point of view.
what do you want sirf l asked, now
that had secured the attention Of this indi-
vidual. "What are you making such noise
for at this time of nightf
"rm very sorry to disturb you, LADY,
$50 it seems," | said, acrimoniously; but he
did not hear me, and perhaps it was US
well he did not l have not reputation for
being severe in my remark but then this
was aa exceptional proceeding, and deserved
rebuke.
"The fact is, madam, the wind has blown
my umbrella clean out Of my hand into your
area. | would not mind so much" he conde-
scendcd TO explain still further, at the top of
his voice, but it's an umbrella l set grea
store by Besides, it's raining tremend-
ously."
II really cannot come down at this hour
and get your UMBRELLA l said, severely
'you must call tomorrow for it."
Isn't there any one in the house-any ma
who can get itF
"Tho house is locked up for the night"
ats such u very deep area or would Dire
over and get it myself But then don't s.,
how TO get cut again. he said.
81 can't help you, sir; | am very sorry
replied, "but l can't go down tonight for it,
81 should be brute TO ask you, ma'am,
he said, politely now; and here | could SCI
he raised his hat to me; 'of course l could
no. tell who was III the house, or whether i.
might not be easy TO get my umbrella-whicA
really value very much, l assure you; it's
an umbrella which-but am very sorry to
have disturbed you, will call in the morn
ing-thank you; good night"
And away the gentleman strobe, turning
ba COLLAR nf bta cont abnva bta on, ba
vent on down the street / closed the win
dow, set my ''mufilern aside, and in another
moment | should have been in my humble
couch again, when -tat-a-tat-
misunderstanding once more aroused
the echoes Of the neighborhood, but brought
no policeman to the rescue, or any anxious
inquirers TO the windows, except myself, who,
once more enwrapped, and this time trem-
bling with indignation, was q minute after
ward in my old position facing the dangers
and Inconvenience of the gale, and looking
down once more at the figure below me-
standing in his old position on the brink Of
the deep gutter in tho roadway.
~ beg your pardon again very much,
am awfully sorry to be such a nuisance, br
] really don't know where I am,rh he cried,
rattling on with great volubility. ~ haven't
the least idea, and the streets are all alike,
and am quite stranger to this part of the
world, and am afraid shant know this
house from any other In the daylight. Might
l just trouble you for the addressf'
"Prossiter street." / called down to him.
81 thank you very much. Boshington
street"
"Prossiter street." I screamed
"Prossiter-a thousand thanks and apollo
gies. And what number, maam, may askf'
"No. TO-"
~ am very much obliged to you,n he
bawled forth, 81 am exceedingly indebted. !
would not have troubled you in this way il
the umbrella had not beenn--
But would not listen to any further ex-
PLANTATION; he had already said that he set
great store by the umbrella, and l did not
want to hear that fact again with the rain
coming down like waterspout, and the wind
blowing every way at once. | closed the
window summarily and cut short his volu-
bility, and the instant afterward heard him
running along towards New Oxford street as
II to make up for lost time, or to overtake
passing cab OF which he had probably caught
sight.
II WINS soma TINA hafora conld ,rat N sloan