Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-19
Tea Table Gossip.

city or the state.
Official statistics show that far less was
eaten and drunk in Paris last year than
in 1885, and that the consumption of pro-
visions has steadily declined ever since
1881.
| Chinese god about $50 feet long and
| composed of paper, silk, metals, glass,
feathers, tinsel and goats hair recently
| landed in this country "for religious pur-
| poses" The importers were required to
pay duty upon his divinity, Ho Wong.
A Boston detective noticed that news
paper which a young man was apparently
reading on horse-car, was upside down,
arrested him at a venture and found that
he had picked the pockets of three peo-
pie. New York pickpocket, also on a
car, was arrested the other day, while
holding handkerchief to his Jaw. It
was proved that he was working a pocket
with his other hand.
Sir Henry Hawkins is getting a re-
putation in England as a witty Judge.
| Recently a prisoner pleaded guilty of
larency and then withdrew the plea and
declared himself to be innocent. The
case was tried and the jury acquitted him.
Then said Sir Henry Hawkins: prisoner,
few moments ago you said you were a
thief. Now, the jury says you are liar.
Consequently, you are discharged"
| James Dolier, of Sante Fe, N. NJ, be-
came engaged to dark-eyed Mexican
| girl, but could not indcoe her to set day
for the wedding. She finally told him
one evening that if he would call on the
following afternoon she woRld set the
date for the marriage. In the morning,
| however, he received cards for her ap-
preaching marriage to his father. The
young man was found dead in his room
few hours later, having taken the con-
ventional soup of cold pizen."
One night last week, party of chicken
thieves visited the premises of clergy
man living i'll North Toronto, and taking
seventeen of his fowls, deliberately killed
and plucked them, leaving the feathers
on the premises. The thieves next paid
a visit to the clergyman's nearest neigh
Dor, from whom they captured forty
chickens. These they also killed and
plucked, leaving the feathers, as in the
first case. They also pinned note on
the hall door informing the owner that
they had left some fowl which were too
lean, and that as soon as he could get
them fattensd up they would call for
them-TOrOntO Globe.
"Down in Missouri the other day." said
drummer, II came across one of the
queerest cases I ever heard of. It was
commercial traveller who can neither
read nor write. He is one of the hand
soonest and liveliest fellows ever met,
an AL talker, but be can't read five words
and can barely write his own name. Be-
side, he doesn't want to learn. When his
customers give him orders, he has them
write out lists of the goods they desire,
and such letters as he has to get off he
coaxes hotel clerks and other travelling
men to write for him. He is lightning
salesman, too, and one of the most popu-
lar men in his ritory."-Chicago Her
aid.
It is said that the time has practically
passed when flats will pay in New York,
excepting those with which large restu-
rants are connected and which combine
the features of hotel and fiat life, and
those in the very fashionable Fifth
avenue neighborhood. The reason as
signed is, too muck competition among
the landlords and unreasonable demands
on the part of the tenants. A fiat of to-
day wants coal for the ranges and pretty
much everything but beefsteak. Such
people are careless in the treatment of
apartments and quit for slight reason.
The landlords expenses are large, and
with increasing competition he doesn't
enjoy owning flats.
A New York lady who wears a beaver
hat, tells correspondent how she keeps
the nap so smooth and shiny. She says:
"First brush the hat thoroughly, so as to
get all the flores Strengthened out in one
4o1- o,I IL &c
and pour into the middle of it about
half-teasponful of salad oil. Rub the
handkerchief in your hands until the oil
is thoroughly distributed through it.
Then go over your hat time after time
with the silk thus prepared Lay the
haudrchief aside, and use it every day
upon the hat, without, however, replenish
ing the oil more than once a week. The
order, and even an ordinary wetting will
not disturb it,
The reporters of Queensland, Australia,
have breezy way of chronicling events,
as witness: Matthews started on foot,
alone, to walk over the range to Thorn
borough, but overcome with grief
and whiskey, lay down on the banks of
the Barron river to sleep. Now, the ALI
gators OF the Barron river are DOtn
numerous and ferocious. They assimi-
lated Matthews with the exception of one
leg, which was recognized by the boot on
it. This, after having been identified,
was afforded christian burial in the
CairRs cemetery, the funeral being large
ly attended. There it still reposes, while
the remainder of Matthews is wandering
around the Barron river as an alligator"
They are telling the story out west of
Boston gentleman who went to the Pa
elf !, coast with party of excursionists,
and who, when the car porter had done
his best busting him off, said, with a be-
nevolent smile: swell, l suppose you
want something for your trouble" and
drawing out his fat pocketbook, took two
bright new pennies, and handed them to
the porter. A look of puzzled astonish-
ment overspread the features of the At
rican, as nothing smaller than fve-cent
nickel circulates there; but as soon as he
regained speech he passed them back
with the remark: "We has no use for
them here, sah!' "Oh, replied the New
Highlander ''keep them, keep them, you
may 90 east some time"
The Lewiston Journal relates this in