The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-03-16

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A CITIZEN of Reynolds, Ga, ninety-two
years of age, has just died of measles
CAsToR-oIL is easy to give, but awfully
hard to take. So is advice. -PhiLadelDhi
Call.
ALTHOUGH not talkative at all, the oyster
is very pleasant companion at dinner
Puck
WE shall not believe that spring is really
here until we see new maple sugar, with
last seasons hy-specks all filed off, in the
grocer's window.-Boston Bulletin.
THE wolves in Minnesota have chased a
lawyer twenty miles over the snow, and the
local press denounces them for unprofes-
sional conduct.-Sdn Francisco Alta.
GIVE me two pounds of exasperated ap-
pies" said an old lady to the grocer. He
weighed out two pounds of evaporated ap-
Piles, and she was content dnspiHe Breeze
A WRITER in the Scientific American SAYS
that in experiences in Colorado and Utah he
never saw an Indian with a cold. He con-
cludes that it is our hot rooms which give
us colds.
THE highest price ever paid for book in
Germany was 81 $50. That sum was given
recently at Cologne for copy of the original
Latin edition of the " Letters of Columbus"
printed in 1893.
A WIDE field for speculation is opened by
this paragraph in the Nashua Telegrdph de-
scrlbing dancing parties in Amherst, N. H..
These dances have been kept upon as
purely moral basis as practicable"
A GENTLEMAN was returning home one
very clear night lately with his @ little girl"
who presently pointed to the Pleades
Look, " she exclaimed; "see those little
stars all cuddled close together to keep
warm"
A STORY is told of the importance with
which the condition of the Sultan of Turkey
A yiuh ,,n1
gravely printed one morning: q" His majesty
is slightly indisposed, having been bitten by
mosquito last night"
CooN-HUNTING seems to be a lucrative
sport in some parts of Missouri Two hunt
ers recently chopped down an evident
" coon-tree near Trenton and got three
coons, four hundred pounds of honey and
an UPSTREAM in which were $3.50 in gold.
LETTER from the Indian Territory has
been received at the interior department at
Washington addressed to "Hon. Robert
McClelland, Secretary of the Interior De-
partment." Mr.. McCleland was secretary
under President Pierce, from 1853 to 1857
JOSEPH MESSENGER of Altoona, Pa, found
nest of six young rats in barrel. He put
his cat in the barrel that she might slaughter
them, but she then and there adopted the
ratings and endeavored to carry them
away in her mouth as she would her own
kittens.
In the college slang of Princeton per-
feet recitation is called a tear" of Har-
ward. squirt" of Bowdoin, a "sail;"
of Williams, rake" of Hamilton a
blood; and of Amherst, cold rush"
Failures are called slumps," "stumps,"
:" funks " and " smashes."
"GIvE an example of an immovable OBJ
iect." said the teacher. And the smart bad
boy at the foot of the class suggested three
girls on the sidewalk. The teacher who
tn in ha Ia st. lo
street herself, sent him right up to the head
of the class and told him to stay there for
week.-Burdette.
Two well-known artists went out into the
suburbs to sketch crows. They saw fine
specimen in a corn-teld, and after approach
ing him began to make drawing from life.
The nearer they got the more they admired
him. Presently they stole up to within ten
feet, and reproduced even the tint of his
toes. Wonderfully tame the bird seemed,
until he suddenly turned out to be only the
top of burned stump.-Harper's Weekly.
:" My success is owing to my liberalty in
advertising. - Bonner. " Freqent and con-
slant advertising brought me all | own
4. T. .SteWdrt. Success depends upon the
liberal patronage of printing offices. As
tor. " How can the world know man has
a good thing unless he advertses the possess
sion % Vanderbilt. my son, deal only
with men who advertise. You will never
lose by it. "-F'rdnklin. Standing advertise
ments in paper command confidence. -
Bdrnum.
IT is now said that the amount of foreign
travel will be seriously diminished by the
recent earthquake. Instead of going abroad
for health people will now stay at home
for the same reason. The ocean steamers
will of course feel the loss of business and
so will the European hotels, which have
been so literally patronized by American
tourists. Tourists, instead of going to
Europe, will be inclined to visit the won
ders of our own continent, which in so many
instances are far greater than any found in
transatlantic countries The earthquake oc-
casiOned an unusual increase in cable tele-
graphy, since so many messages were sent
to announce safety Many who expected
to pass the summer in Europe will return
as rapidly as possible. One of the marked
results of the earthquake is to check the
tendency of wealthy Americans to live
abroad .-Ne1C York Letter.
A STORY of southern politics was picked
up at Thomasville, Ga, by Congressman
Van Zandt. politician who was running
for office desired TO secure the negro vote
and had bought up colored preacher who
agreed for SO to make an address to his
congregation in favor of the candidate. The
politician said to the clergyman: =" / think
the best way for you to influence your peo-
pie is to let them understand that | am
neither democrat nor "A republican, but an
feeling that exists between democrats and
republicans and start out on the new line,
and this is just as good a time as any to do
it," When the cergymen got up in his
pulpit and began talking to his audience he
followed the advice of the politician in this
manner; My dear bredren, you are not to
pronounce upon Massa Blank for de sins of
omission or commission by eder de demo-
cratic or republican party. Massa Blank am
neder democrat or republican. He is
simply lynn old whig" When the politi-
clan heard of it he tore his HART Tribune.
MARK TWAIN says of Professor Loisette's
system of memory training, now taught at
237 Fifth avenue, New York: " Professor
Loisette did not create memory for me-no,
nothing of the kind. And yet he did for me
what amounted to the same thing, for he
proved to me that already had memory
a thing which was not aware of till then.
had before been able-like most people
TO store up and lose things in the dark cell
lar of nv memory: hut he showed me how