The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-07
BRIGHT BITS.

If A LAWYER isn't all lies he can hardly oe
said to be one of truths allies Y0Rkers Ga
zette.
i FoUR-YEAR-oLD LITTLE EDITH after seeing
many red and brown and black parti-colored
cows, suddenly noticed one that wore an I'M
broken coat OF white. "Oh, see there" she
exclaimed; sthere's u COW that didn't paint. ~
Hdrper's BaEar,
mo, DARLING, said a Burlington mother to a
sick child 'the doctor says mustn't read to
you.'h 's
Then, ma,nma." begged the little one
wont you please read to yourself out loud?"-
Bu lfBgtoa Free Press.
Mas. PePlNJAY-Nr. Popinjay. do you pro
pose to put up that stove to day, as requested
you?
Mr.. Popinjay-But. my dear. you know
Mrs Popinjay Mr.. POpinjay, either put up or
shut up'--Bu9iiRgtOR Free Press.
DID You know that mule is a mighty intel
ligent animal,'' said Smythe to Brown.
well, he is"
How do you II ie that out"
Look at the amount of brayin' work he
does. y Washington Critic.
DR.. SooNovER ito man with a swollen jaw
Why do You come to me: I'm no dentist. You
should go to some regular dentist.
Sufferer-1 was going to a dentist, but heard
q great many people say if you treated a man
never had any more aches and pains; so
thought I'd come to you.-Tezos SUttngs
YouSG DUNPsEY has been Tilted in love, but
he takes Il phiosophically, as sensible yonppg
man should. There is one thing about it, he
remarked confdentially to a friend the other
day; love1s labor is never lost. If a fellow
saves up his money for the sake of a girl, and
doesn't get the girl he has the money. Bur
hngton Press.
SOCIALISM, other things, L am opposed
to the immigration of the Chinese.
AntiSocialist- you admit you won't work,
in what manner do they conflict with you?
''Confonnd them, they rob me of living"
by doing the washing my wife used to gel"
-Btnol'dnton ~. " Republican.
The PRESIDENTS THANKSGIVING - Omaha
Man-You can easily see, Mr.. President that the
great West has much to be thankful for
The President-Yes, so have l. Some of those
pictures of me were horrible.
But what is it you are thankful about?"
Il am thankful that my wife met me before
she met those pictures "-Omohd World.
SAID Mrs. Smith. who had come to spend the
day, to little Edith: Are you'glad to see me
again Edith
Edith-Yes, MIN; and mammals glad, too?
Mrs. Smiih--Is she!
Edith-Yes, MN; she said she hoped you'd
come to day and have il over with.
Mamma b.,iShes scarlet, but Mrs. Smith simply
smiles Boston Transcript.
SMIrH-That paragraph in the Daily Holcler
touched you up rather severely yesterday,
Brown
Brown--Oh, yes; don't mind that sort of
thing. however. The world will always contain
FOOLS you know
Il suppose so. If there were no fools there
wouldn't be anything for those follows to write
about, suppose. BiTghGnttOn Republican.
A SCIENTIFIC ScoRcHER-Small Huxleyan-I
say, nanny, dis yer friziology say eff a chile
hab a narm long huff to reach to de sun wen
he's bawn, he done be bead'n and derried seben-
ty.fvs yea 70. eloer he gwine fell de sco'ch.
| NANNY (seyerely) -An Mas S'phiry Nebeud-
| neZZah Jones, Shet dat ar book, n 70 split de
| kindlm' N rest my pc brains Pears likes if
| too much larnnll make me mad-Hdrper's Ba
gar.
| USE OF P4RTIEs.-Omaha Boy-Pop, are po-
| litiCaf parties good for anything?
Wise Citizen- Indeed they are, my boy. Good
| citizens would be badly off if it wasn't for po-
litical parties! They are controlled by certain
| men that we all know.
| "Oh yes. Ana then when those men make
| the nominations you know who to vote for"
mo indeed. We know who TO vote against. -
| --Onnhd World.
"CAN you tell me where can find the reporter
| who wrote that article:" asked an rate indi-
| vidual Of the city editor. Il want him dis
| charged immediately
| II really don t think you could have him dis
| charged, replied the city editor, castiously
! Why not. sir} demand IT.
You see, the proprietor of the paper wrote
| that You might 20 and ask him to-sllspend
| publication, however Washington Critic.
An OPPORTUNITY UN1MpRovEp. She stood in
the pressroom Of the country daily. where the
| agile fly of the press was sappng down the
| papers with admirable precision. She was a
| notheriy looking creature, with blue cotton
| umbrella and double chin.
That fly, delivers the papers at the rate of
| 1880 an hour" modestly remarked the proud
proprietor,
Mercy on'us! you don't mean it!'' And then,
| moved by motherly instinct, she added: What
| place to spank baby!-So'aertiHe Journal.