The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-29
BRIO

BY witching face beneath her hat,
BY girlish face and graceful micn,
Twas love, fifteen"
And so we played. The game was done,
And she the victor was elate.
In other courts | Strove and won,
So Love my loss did compensate.
There's now no parting net between,
lis love, fifteen.
In Chicago they throw no slipper after
the bride. They can't.
Whoever makes the fewcst persons UNI
easy is tho best bred in the company.
Would it be properto call an alley where
a street fight has taken place an allcgory?"
The only perpetual thing about perpetual
motion is its failure.
Contempt of court-Whcn the OUNCE
brother makes faces ut his sisters lover.
He is Il miss guided youth who does
everything his sweetheart asks him to do.
Nothing should appear at a cold collation.
which requires carving or cannot be easily
helped.
The choice of Il wife or husband is the
most serious thing that a man or woman
has to decide upon.
A 1G yearold girl can soften and whitcn
her hands by soaking them in dishwater
Ihlce llnlG every day.
l'itz has n good looking daughter who
he says will never marry Il dude. Dudes
usually dislike Miss Fitz.
A Russian p~rovcrb-Bcforc You 90 10
war, pray onCC; before you go to sea, pray
twice; before you take a wife, pray thrice.
The postage stamp is particularly unfor-
tunatc. When Il man wants to lick it he
attacks il behind its back.
1t is a question which is the stronger
cprd-thc pOliccman's club or the hotel
clerks diamond.
Poor people are like oysters in one re-
Spcct. y number of them have to sleep in
the same bed.
Those who use our goods are very much
attached TO them is what Il porous com.
pany aGvcrtiScs.
Many men arc said to make fools of them.
selves when Nature is really the response,
bic party.
a man in London who does not talk
jubilee is suspected of having pockets full
of dynamitc.
a business operated at a loss is like an
empty pockctbook, as, to use Il common
expression, there's no money in it,"
Every sewing machine agent will posi-,
lively assert that the machine he sells is the
best. That doesn't make il sew, however.
The cunning thief will enter a stable,
pnrlojn several sets of harness, and depart
without leaving a trace.
Speaking Of drinking it may he observed
That the man who can take it or leave IL
alone generally takes it.
y man should never praise his wife's
Lonnct until he is sure she don't want a
dress TO match it.
a correspondent wants TO know ''how
10 preserve the hair One way is to have
1t worked into Il watch chain.
Reverend Alfred Coffee is the name of a
Southern Colarcd preacher. 1t is to be
hopcd nc is Il settled minister.
There is one comfort at least for the man
who marricS Il red headed wife. He can
always look upon the bright side of life.
y Connecticut baby has swallowed seven
hnirpins and come up 10 the mark smiling.
Tie wants to try n thimblc now.
Don't you dawnsc. Frcd:" mo. dear
boy; I'm Invited out for my facial express.
sion
DO moi starch your table napkins. A
napkin that is not soft and pliablc is mani
testify unfit for its purpose.
Marriage is the mother Of the world. 1t
preserves kingdoms and fills cities and
churches, and Heaven itself.
At Il picnic never use your best plate.
glass or china; SO shall you avoid much
hcart-bnrning and irritation Of temper.
Absence makes the heart Of host and
guest crow fondcr: they relish one another
all The better for an interval Of separation
There is said to be a tree in New Guinea
which, when touched, knocks n man down
fl nln~i Inc "a SnpfiIs nf t,nNw,pnl
The man that wants the earth doesn't
cen SaliSIIcd when the grocer gives it to
him in thc sugar.
When two dogs quarrel too long over the
same bone II third dog is apt to come by |
and cotton TO it as his own.
III you a tcw git at the circumfer. |
cncc OF "A man examine him among folks;
il you want tcw git ut his aktual diam.
ctcr mcpsirc him at his f!residc."
American women" says Jennie June,
stand at the head for health, complexion,
taste anu good temper" Who ever doubt
Cd it?
When a woman is very pretty ono never
looks at her dress; and when the dress is |
very striking one forgets TO look at the
There can be no surcr proof OF low
origin, or oil an innate meanncss of dispo.
sltion, than to be always talking and think.
Of being gcntcel.
The ball is the paradise of youth and
owe. When we have turned 40 we regard
II as a wcarinGSs and n dc%lusion, and dc.
nounce 1t, perhaps, us fit only for fools.
YES, said the small boy of the Latin
'inss, yes, !apsus may be the Latin for
IN II book, but when mother laps us It
means "A simmer ="