The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-01-05
Bill Nye's Experiences.
VIZ + n ms SHOW HrSiNE~- wnE isSE-
lsRfrSaNH rILEN


wHfroawH billy
We ara moving about over the country,
James wbitooalb Riley and I. in the ca
pleity ofa moral aaa spectacular show.
attend to the spectacular business That
i more in my Hne.
7 am writing tins a; an imitation hotel
where tua r1a,is f,rk- Z vii. cali q the
Finh Avenue iiatei. is-au-e rhe hotel az
rli,u,l.i inu.tiou j. generally s.dlei the
Fiah Avenue. ~ ei-al Ciiy Hou-e, or the
Palace Hotel stoppet al an ian some
years ago called the Palace. and ! can
truly say III Il if II bad ever been a palace
It was very much run down when visit
ed H.
Jus; A. fond parent Of white-eyed
two-legged freak Of nature loves 70 name
his mentally diluted son Napoleon. and
for the same reason that a pr minent
horse owner in Illinois socked my name
on a tall, buek-skin colored colt that did
not resemble me intellectually nor phys
i.-tlly. a COLI that did not know enough
io - around barbed-wire fence, but
sought 10 SIT himself throggh il INTO an
untinely grave. 20 this man called his
swav-bscked WigV4m the Firth Avenue
Hotel
Ii l. different from the Fifth Avenue in
many ways. In the irst place, there Is
not 50 much travel and business IN It's
nei.hborhood- A. said before. this IS
where two railroads fork. In Gsct, this j.
the Leading industry here. The growth
oftle town l. naturally slow, BAT it is
healthy growth There i nothing in the
nature Of dangerous or wildcat spccula-
rion in the advancement Of this place,
and while there has been no noticeable
or rapid advance IN the principal busi-
ness there has been NO falling off at all
and these roads are for.sIug As much TO-
i4v a. they did before the war. while the
same three men who were present for the
first glad moment are still here TO witness
its operation.
Sometimes a train is derailei, As the pa
per. call it. ami two or three people have
10 remain over. a. We did. all night IL
. is al such a time that the Fifth Avenue
Hotel il the scene OF great excitement.
/ A large coddsh. with broad and sunny
I smile. and his bos lm full Of rock salt,
/ tied in the creek to fresheu and % him
T for the re pousibie position Of floor man
+ ager Of the codtish ball
4 pale chambermaid. wearing a black
jersey with large pores IN It through
which she Is percolatiug, now goes Joy-
ously up Stairs 70 make the little postof-
flee Iock-box rooms look ten times worse
thau they ever did before. She warbles
a Iow refrain A. she nimbiy knocks loose
the venerable dust Of centuries and sets
it aH.it throughout the room All l. bus
de about the house.
Especially the chambermsid.
We were put in the guests chamber
here. It has two atrophied beds made
up Of pains and eounterpanes.
This last remark conveys % the reader
the presence Of a Eght, joyous feeling,
which Is wholly assumed on my part.
Tire door of our room Is full Of holes
where locks have been Wrenched of IN
order o. let the coroner in Last night /
c,uld imagine that I was IN the act Of
meeting personally the amOus people Who
have tried to sleep here. aad who m0aned
through the night and died while wait
ing tor the dawn.
Ihave no doubt IN the world but there
is quite a good-sizej delegation from this
hotel Of guests who hesitated about com
mitting suicide because they feared 20
tread the red-hot sidewalks Of perditiou,
but who became desperate at last and re-
solved 20 take their chances f, and they
never had any cause % regret it,
We washed our hands on door-knob
soap, wrapped them on a slippery-elm
court-pLister that had made quite a repu-
ton under the non, q, plum. Of Towel, -
tried 10 warm ourselves at a pocket ink
stand stove that gave out ink ike a dark
lantern and had deformed elbow Al the
back oft.
The chamberuaid Is very versatile and
waits on the table while not engaged in
azitating the overW0rked mattresses and
puuy piiioSs upst4ils. In this way she
imparts she odor Of fried pork To the pill
l1w cases and kerosene % the pie
still. she is sociable at times and con-
verses freely with me- at the table, and
she leans over ~ shoulder Pensively
brushing the crumbs into my lap with a
; general utility towel which accompanies
her in her various rambies through the
mouse. ami she asks which We would rath-
er have tea or ergs-
I This afternoon se viii pay cur bin. in
+ lceonIance with a lifelong custom of0urs
and 20 away % peImeate the busy haunts
OF men.-fHlc1g9 Tr5a,s.