The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1887-07-15

come Oack anu ii give you mOrc.
Mr.. Brand was a bachelor. but he
was not one from choice. 1t may seem
peculiar. taken with his other charac.
teristics. that he should have favored
matrimony. but he did. with certain
amendments, however.
The marriage state As it existed was,
according to his philosophy, defective
concern; altogether too inadequate and
imperfect 1t was continually being
weighed in the balance and found
wanting.
1 asked him what was to be done
about it.
at should be rectified. my dear mad
anne; as clause, word or paragraph
may be added to bill before legis-
lature."
l did wish he would cease calling me
madame. 1 considered it an insult to
my spinsterhood; and could hardly
refrain from telling him that knew no
more about bills of legislation than the
rest of my sex. But he turned my
thoughts into the original channel by
saying.
"The marriage state reorganized.
put in order as it were. would he moth
ing less than a godly institution"
His earnestncss convinced me that,
for purely philanthropic motives. he
had in a measure effected its repair, so
l asked quite innocently: ''What is
your system, Mr.. Brandt"
My dear madame" he remonstrat-
ed, Il was not aware that l had laid
claim to having propounded one."
"But you have" l maintained, II
am sure of it."
"Well. will admit the charge. since
your perspicuity divines it," he ans
wered reluctantly.
"May be permitted to inquire where
in it differs from the regular one?"
Il should be happy to afford you all
the information you require upon the
subject. but" and here he hesitated,
1.-The truth is. don't consider my sys-
tenn by any means perfect, from the
fact that up to the present time it has
wholly theoretical.
''For the lack of the proper person to
it?" hazarded.
Exactly"
And then. having somehow or other
an idea of the loftiness of
my comprehensive faculties, Mr.. Brand
did me the honor to make me acquaint-
ed with his pet theory. The difficulty
lay in nutshell. No woman ever
loved who possessed the combined at
tributes of the idealistic one that he
had conjured up out of the chaotic
debris of his rejuvenatcd plan. For ex-
ample. she must be physically and
adapted to him; she must
have beauty, but no vanity; charm. but
no coquetry, and talent without osten-
tation. She must be savant in learn
ing and butterfly in temperament.
Her method of household government
must have absolutely no parallel in
systematic regulation and order. And
upon this last point he laid great
stress. for love of neatness was as in
nate with him rs love of opinion. As
he didn't believe that frivolity could
bring cOntentment, his creed prOhib-
tied youth.
l listened with becoming gravity,
and marveled at his sophistry. How
any sane man could be so illogical
staggered me. And yet this one was
sane! At least he wasn't insane, which
to the same thing. l dare say.
Imagine my elation, when. few
days later, there arrived upon the
scene Miss Nellie Penhryn. in whom
Nj. Brand instantly manifested the
greatest concern. Miss Penhryn was
small, dark and very win
some. She was not pretty, but owing
to her style and vivacity, exceedingly
an ingenious creature,
petted and spoiled beyond expression
by doting grandmother. and the last
woman upon the face of the earth one
would think he could fancy. But the
genus homo is never quite rational in
its heart affairs. CThis observation
savors of sour grapes, coming, as it
does, from spinster like me. but no
Having been duly presented
to Mr.. Brand, the first thing she said
to him was:
care you the Mr.. Brandt"
81 am Mr.. Brand" he retorted.
and then stopped short and stared at
her.
You're nothing of the kind; you are
the Mr.. Brand. My grandmamma told
me So"
''What further information did your
respected relative offer regarding me,
may inquirer"
"She said you'd bite mp head off. if
l didn't mind whatI was about"
''And what response did you make
to this murderous EXPRESSION"
81 told her l had never yet seen a
man to be afraid of; neither have IT.
And here Miss Penhryn laughed. '.Do
you mind" she went on. when her
mM:h had subsidized. taking me on:
for an ice? am mcltingH'
"Oh. you eat ices. do you?"
Certainly, when I'm warm. Don't
you?"
Never"
NO" thoushtfully. Il shouldn't sup
pose you would" then, ''but do want
that ice." flashing an appealing glance
at him from beneath her long lashes.
Whereupon he instantly arose and
offered her his arm.
Il wish you would try one" she rec
after tasting ner own.