davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05
Walking Easier Than Spelling.
Philadelphia Record.

President Lincolh's commissioner of
agriculture, Newton, of Philadelphia, is
the peg on which all bad spelling stories
are hung in Washington. He wrote Eng
lish as she's spoke, without regard to the
arbitrary rules of orthography, and the
result was often amusing. One day Gen.
Sickles, then lying in hospital here
badly wounded, craved fruit, grapes par
ticularly. A friend, not being able to
find them elsewhere, went down to the
department of agriculture and asked Com
missioner Newton for some. ~ haven't
any grapes" replied Newton: std give
them to you in a minute for Gen. Sickles
if | had; but I'll give you anything else
we've got"
''Wen," said the friend, what other
fruits have your"
"Why," said Newton, II think we have
some nectarines, and you're welcome to
some of them"
''Theyll do very WELL" said the friend.
'Just write me an order TO the gardener
for some, will your"
Newton said he would, drew sheet Of
paper toward him, and began to write.
The date line was all right, for that was
printed, but after that his troubles began.
"Give bearer" he wrote, Gas many -
and then he stopped, for he couldn't spell
nectarines. and he knew it. Then he
threw down his pen, picked up his hat,
and said:
''Come, I'll go over with you myself"
The state council of Switzerland has
decided to reorganize the bunaesrath.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

''Chappie, I was gwossly insalted to-
day doncher know, remarked Fitzpercy.
sab, how did it occuh me dear boy?" in
quried De Sappy. 81 went to buy hat,
you see, and / asked the cweschah at the
stop, Ah, what sort of hat do you think
would suit me?' and the whetch replied,
as bwazen as you please, "A soft one, SIR"
did you wesent the INSULT" "Yaas,
promptly" GLOW did you wesent it?"
81 said, 'Wats!' veal loud and slammed
the door as went out"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05
A SpeeulatOr.
Dakota Bell.

An agent called on a Dakota man, say
ing:
"You have been recommended to me as
a prominent citizen, and have patent
ice cream freezer here which I would like
to sell you. It is"
"Don't want it."
at is something new and"
"Tell you wouldn't have it,"
"Bat Pm sure you would"
wouldn't: no use for it; never eat ice
cream"
"But it only costs $1.50 and perhaps"
"No perhaps about it, wouldn't take
your freezer as gift"
"Well, I have another scheme here. I
am selling chances for drawing on the
same freezer. There are one hundred
tickets at a dollar apiece"
"Well, that's more like it-put my
name down for two tickets. This is spec
ulation and always go in on anything
of that kind"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05
Micnigan's Versatile Senator.
Washington Cor Cleveland Leader.

It was very amusing to note the at
tempts of the various senators during the
late trip to Cuba at the pronunciation of
Spanish. Mr.. Babcock, Senator Sher-
mans private secretary, could hardly be
persuaded to utter an English word, and
Senator Palmer, by the rolling out of
such words as Terra del Fuego and mix
ture of Latin, attem pied to keep up the
reputation which he had made in Detroit
as Spanish scholar. The story of this
reputation is worth telling. Senator Pal
mer, as young man, went to Spain in a
sailing vessel and travelled throughout
the country enough to acquire a pretty
fair pronunciation. He knew but few
Spanish words, however, and as for max
ing speech in Spanish, without the die
tionary, he could about as easily have made
one in Assyrian off-hand. Not long ago a
Mexican delegation travelling through the
United States stopped at Detroit. SEN
ator Palmer was appointed to make a
speech upon their reception. He con-
cluded to surprise them by giving them a
speech in Spanish. He went to parish
scholar of his acquaintance and had him
write speech for him. This, by the aid
of his experience in Spain, he was able to
pronounce correctly, and he committed
it to memory, putting in gestures and
pathos, as the sentiment required. When
the Mexicans assembled before him he
rolled out his speech in the soft mellow
tones of their language, and, to the sur
prise of all, brought down applause at
every period. When his speech was over
the Mexicans crowded around him and at
tempted to engage him in Spanish con-
versatiOn. He tried for moment to
show that he could not talk Spanish, and
finally had to pretend that he was deaf in
order to escape from them.
He is a wonderfully versatile fellow,
this senator from Michigan. He has wide
knowledge of history, and he has strange
bits of information packed away in the
recesses of his brain as he has dollars in
his bank account. He can tell good
story, sing good song, and he takes life
easier and gets more out of it than any
other man I know. During the trip to
Cuba he was the life of the party, and he
is as pleasant a travelling companion as
you will find in twelve-month.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

General Sheridan is making up a
party of friends to take a long horse
back ride down through the Shenandoah
Valley, the scenes OF his old cavalry ex-
ploits. They will start next month.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

No More s'Colonels' Among Railroaders.
TT might just as web as not be under
stood first as last" writes Eugene Field
in the Chicago News, 'sthe railroad men
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Ben Butler still carries his right arm in
sling as result of his fall in Philadel-
phia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Ex President Hayes has recovered
from mis- recent illness.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

No other preparation so meets the wants of a
deolltated system as Ayers Sarsaparilia.
Mexican has been selling to the unwary at
San Jose, Cal, nuggets Of tinfoil, rep, eseutiag
them to be silver
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Nervous debility, premature decline
Of power in either sex, speedily and permanent
lY cured. Large book 10 cents in stamps.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association, 663 Main
Street. Buffalo N Z.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Eartholdi's Statue Of Liberty Enlightening
the World
will be a reminder OF personal liberty for ages to
come. On just foundation has DR..
PIerce's Golden Medical Discovery" been placed,
and it will stand through the cycles of time as a,
monument TO the physical emancipation of thous-
ands. who by its use have been relieved from
consumption, consumptive night-sweats, bron-
chitis coughs, splitting of blood, weak lungs, and
other throat and lung affections.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

No article can receive such en- Nrsement as
the above unless it has actual merit. GlA~
MORRIS AROMATIC WINE is an
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05
InfaIlibIe Cure for
Female COMPLAINTS.

Thousands of women bear grateful testimony to
the wonderful cures it has made 1t contains no In
toxicatng properties to irritate sensitive stom
ach or to induce an injurious reaction after ten
porary stimulation. 1t assists digestion, makes rie
healthy blood and builds up the entires- tenn, thm
laying the sure foundation for perfect h 18th.
Gs Get it of your druggist; S100 per bottle; sly
bottles $500, or of w. GILMORE & SON AROMA1
&c WINE co. Pavilion, N. Y.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

In Greenville s. C., q white man and his wife
from the country, walked into a bar room and
took social drink together
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Boston paper says that swearing amos e
women has become fashionable in that city ~ e
have orr opinion of man that viii .'swexar
among women. "-Norrstown Herald
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

young woman at Pine Bush, Orange county,
n. Y, received written valentine, one day last
month. which vas twelve feet in length.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

The streams on both sides Of Lake Champlain
were formerly filled with salmon, but they are
were taken at single haul of a seine near Port
Kendall
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

a Iottenham magistrate recently fined him.
self 81 for allowing snow to lie on the s.dewa = :
Toronto (,nho
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

is writing a history from the FurInan family in
America, and solicits items of information from
its members
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

A tramp who was IudetJwn, n Y. the
other day, was actually hungry, anu ate VIII I
was gwen him on the premises. He CevouTeI
SIX grandmother" slices OF bread. one pound of
beef steak two Guns of tea and a pie
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

The state council of Switzerland has
decided to reorganize the bun&esrath.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

Geo. Andrews, CT Levied, with ulcers over
haf his body cured by AYERS Sarsapar. lila.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

The Duke of Westminster has promised to
give, during the remainder of his life, s. 900 a
year for the building of new churches. He is
now 60 yeare old.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05


deollltated system as Ayers Sarsaparilia.
A Mexican has been selling to the unwary at
San Jose, Cal, nuggets Of tinfoil, rep, eseniag
chem to be silver.
women has become fashionabie''in that city Ne
have opinion of a that viii '.sweslr
among women. "-Norristown Herald
Geo. Andrews CT Level, with ulcers
hat his body, cured by Ayers Sarsaparli la
4 TottenlIam magistrate recently fined HIM
SELF 81 for allowing to lie on the s.dewa :.
Toronto Globe.
a tramp who was lea at HlIiletJwr1 n " the
other day, was actually hungry, ana ate VIII
was given him on the premises. He CevoureI
SIX grandmother" slices OF bread. one pound OF
beef steak, two cups of tea and pie.
''That hiss Jones is riceIooking girl, isn't
Yes, and she'd be the belle of the town if it
wasn't for one thing
What's that?h
''She has catarrh so bad it is unpleasant to be
near her. She has tried dozen things and moth
ing helps her. l am sorry, for l like her, but
that doesn't make it any less disagreeaole for one
TO be around her."
Now if she had used DR.. Sage's Catarrh Rem
edF, there would have been nothing of the kind
SAID, Tor it will cure catarTh every time.
"A cigarette smoking match took place in Oil
CITY, Penn. few days ago. when one of the con-
teStants smoked fifty cigarettes in an hour; an
other forty-five.
The Duke of Westminster has promised to
give, during the remainder of his life, s. 600
year Tor the building of new churches. He is
now 80 yeare old.
Nervous debility, premature decline
OF power in either sex, speedily and permanent
L cured. Large book, 10 cents in stamps.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association, 663 Main
Street, Buffalo, n. T..
a young woman at Pine Bush, Orange county,
\. Y, received q written valentine, one day last
month, which was twelve feet in length
The streams on both sides Of Lake Chan1plain
were formerly filled with salmon. but they are
totally extinct. In 1923, 1900 pounds of salmon
were taken at single haul of a seine near Fort
Kendall.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-05

cigarette smoking match took place in Oil
City, Penn. few days ago, when of the con-
teStarts smoked fifty cigarettes in an hour; an
other fortY-fiye
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08

NEW YORK, Sept. 2.-R. G. Dun &
Co., in their weekly review of trade
say: The sale of the Baltimore s.
Ohio Express Company supplies cash
for some time to come, but does not in
volve an adjustment of other interests,
as the street imagines. The sale of
valuable securities by the Oregon
Trans-C Continental probably looks to a
change in the management of that and
connected companies, rather than to
general liquidation; but all these and
other changes do not remove the diff
culties which excessive speculation has
caused. Reviving confidence in this
market appears to have for its
chief basis a belief that heavy opera
tors want prices higher, rather than
! well founded assurance of change on
the condition of properties or of bust
ness.
Crop reports are unchanged as to
wheat, still conflicting as to corn, and
decidedly more unfavorable as to cot
ton, the injury in the Memphis district
being reported at Al per cent in Ten
nessee, and from 25 to 2S per cent in
adjacent parts of Alabama, Mississippi
| and Arkansas. New Orleans also re-
ports prospects declining week by
week. In some parts of the North
west corn was materially helped by
rains. In others scarcely at all.
Trade reports are uniformly encOur-
aging, with fair collections at all points
heard from, and a generally improved
outlook for trade.
Money is stringent and is in brisk
demand at some points, but generally
| is in fair supply.
The boot and shoe trade is better,
with more satisfactory orders from
regions of the drouth than expected.
| Dry goods reports show Improvement
with fair movements in light wOOlens,
though the demand does not yet start
much of the idle machinery.
Wool remains dull, the unloading OF
the Western spectators having come
sooner than was expected.
Failures in the iron and coal trades
have discouraging tendency. Large
offers of Southern iron are reported
without bidders, but the prices of the
best grades are not unchanged.
The business failures throughout th'
country during the last seven days
number for the United States IT'S, TO
Canada "a, total 1879, compared will
185 last week, and 100 for the CORES
bonding week last year.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
Worse Vet.

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, Sept. ga
railroad man in this city says that frOm
statements made by one of the Toledo,
Peoria & Western company's employees,
who worked at the Chatsworth wreck
night and day until it was cleared
away, he is convinced that 126 persons
lost their lives at that place. This
railroad employe says that he person
ally knew of number of bodies being
taken out dead, which were shipped
away to various parts of the country as
rapidly as possible. This evidence is
corroborated by the statements of resi-
dents of Peoria visiting here. They
say that a number of young men went
out to the scene of the wreck on the
first relief train ard renamed all day.
They stated on their return that they
had counted 10 bodies taken out up to
the time they left, and that it was be-
lieved that several more had been en-
tirely consumed in the wreck.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
Rescued by Hia Pals.

ST.. JOSEPH, Mo-, Sept. 1.-When the
keeper of the city hospital entered the
room yesterday morning in which
Laws, the horsethief shot by the deputy
sheriffs about two weeks ago, had been
confined, he found Mrs. Laws sitting
by the bedside crying, while the wound
ed outlaws place was vacant.
Mrs. Laws said: About one O'Clock
this morning ten or twelve masked
men came to the door and gently knock
ed. / got up and opened the door when
one of them said: Don't say a word or
make the least cutlery on peril of your
life. We came for your husband.
With that Mr.. Laws was carried from
the room and taken away, and l have
been afraid to move for fear of being
shot,
The only theory which has been adj
vanced is that Laws was taken out
by his comrades and let down to the
river and then floated down stream. A
sheriff's posse has been summoned and
headed by the sheriffS of Buchanan and
Webster counties is securing the coun-
try. kilograms have been sent all over
the country, and a large reward viii be
offered for his arrest.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
PrOsDects in the south.

BALTIMORE, Nd, Aug. 30.-The
Manufacturers Record this week con
tains about five pages of special reports
from the entire South as to the crops
and the condition of business. The
corn crop of the South is large, exceed
ing the yield of 1886 by over so, 600, 900
bushels, the yield of 1885 by 107 ,000, 900
bushels. The South will this year, it
is said, be nearly self-supporting in the
matter of corn, and millions of dollars
that have heretofore gone West, for
corn viii this season be sent to South
ern farmers. While recent unfavOrable
weather has damaged to some extent
the cotton prospects which a month
ago promised such an enormous yield,
the crop will still be a large one. Ad-
vanced prices for tobacco will, it is
claimed, counterbalance to the farmers
the decrease in yield due mainly to
decreased acreage. Other crops have
with few exceptions been very good,
and it is said the farmers will enjoy
greater prosperity than for many sea
sons. Business prospects are reported
brighter than ever before, and one cor
respondent predicts that this will be
noted as a debt-pay ing year.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
A Desperate Prize FIght.

NEW HAVEN, Conn.,, Sept. 1.-Mr.
Erickson Shepard a Buffalo, New
York, millionaire, during his summer
stay in Canaan, this state, paid court
to Miss Jennie Darlington, the belle of
the village. Recently Mr.. E. G. Trow-
bridge, well known society man, came
from New York, met the young lady,
fell in love with her and was encour-
aged by her, much to the chagrin of Mr..
Shepard. Shortly after the two men
met, and Mr.. Shepard spoke in a derog-
atory manner regarding Miss Caring
ton, which Mr.. Trowbridge resented.
Shepard then challenged Trowbridge
to fight to the finish with half ounce
gloves for SIC, 600 side, or more. Yes
terday the men met while driving
on the outskirts of the town. A quarrel
ensued and Trowbridge knocked Shep-
ard down. A regular prize fight en-
sued. Their coachmen endeaVored to
separate the men. but became involved
in fight of their own, which continued
long after the principals were ex.
hausted. The quartette finally drove tC
their homes, and Shepard and TroW
bridge have remained invisible since
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
GIve Theu. a Chance,

That is to say, your lungs. Also all
your breathing machinery. Very won
derful machinery it is. Not only the
larger air-passages, but the thousands
of little tubes and cavities leading from
them.
When these are elogged and choked
with matter which ought not to be
there, your lungs cannot half do their
work. And what they do, they cannot
do we'll.
Call it cold, cough, Group, pneumonia,
catarrh, consumption or any of the
family of throat and nose and head
and lung Instructions, all are bad. AL
ought to be got rid of. There is just
one sure way to get rid of them. That
is to take Boschee's German Syrup
which any druggist will sell you at a
cents bottle. Even if everything else
has failed yOus you may depend upoI
this for certain.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
More WHITE Cap DeviItry.

ALBANY, Ind, Sept. lon Tuesday
night q gang OF lawless men in Spencer
township, Harrison county, calling
themselves "White Caps" took from
his bed John Hildebrant, a popular
citizen who last April was elected JUS
tice of the peace by a nearly unani-
nous vote, and tying him to a tree
switches. They told him they were
not pleased with his decisions and
charged him with cruelty to his
family. The same night at DE
Pauw, Indiana, they warned a saloon
keeper to stop selling liquor, and at
Frenthtown awakened the postmas-
ter, Pat Henriott, and told him what
they had been doing and ordered him,
under the penalty of hundred lashes,
to spread the news quickly. They had
previously warned q widow named
Dougherty that she must not marry a
young man to whom she is engaged.
Her friends have organized for her pro-
Nnnktnn
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
AouestronabIe Yiet.rr

PHILADELPHIA, Sept. 2.-The Press
in an editorial says:
Randall gained a victory at Allen
town, decided in some respects and
equiYOcal in others. He was strong
enough to master the convention and
yet not strong enough to master the
convention. He was able to compel the
submission of his antagonists and yet
not able or caring to avoid yielding
something himself. Randall was mag
unanimous enough to make Scott chair
man of his committee and Scott was
complaisant enough to report Randall's
platform. Those who opposed Randall
and claimed the special championship of
the Presidents policy were clearly
beaten in their vital object. They
failed to carry the Presidents particu-
lar and pointed declaration which they
had emblaZoned on their banner.
The weakness of his opponents was
the weakness not merely of their Or
ganiZation, but of their position. They
had the courage to avow themselves
free traders, but the party did not dare
to follow them. The principle of pro-
lection is too deeply rooted with the
people of all parties in Pennsylvania
for any party to array itself openly and
boldly against it. The Democracy OF
Pennsylvania want to float with Their
party of the nation without utterly
sinking themselves in the state. While
Randall thus won a triumph which
shows that he is still the master mind
| and force of his organization. it was
| not a triumph without alloy.
The Emporia weekly news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1881-1889, 1887-09-08
BrusiI,s Career.

MADISON, Wis, Sept. DIR Charles
r. Brush, of AvOca, Iowa County,
March last was the suspected cause
of the death of his wife
who died suddenly and myster-
iously. On examination he was shown
to have lived unhappily with her, and
it appeared he had poisoned her. One
night during the examination he COM
United suicide with morphine in the
DodgeviIle Jail. Brush 8 antecedeDts
were a mystery, for he had no intimate
friends. The Northwestern Mutual
Life, with whom he insured, wishing
to avoid payment of 1000 policy,
made in 1888 to his wife and two
children, on the ground that he was
sane when he committed suicide, has
revealed much of Brusil's life history.
He is found to have gone through the
war a Union private. In 1865 he was
farm hand about Bloomington, he
married woman Of loose character,
here he appears bigamiSt. Not long
after mis- second marriage he and his
/ brother flor he had at least one
brother, despite his false statement tC
| the insurance company engaged In
some horse stealing operations, and hC
was arrested, convicted and sentenceC
to some five years in the prison
at Joliet. He resisted cap
| SHre and was shot through
the foot by an officer, the effects of TIT
wound being noticeable in limp which
ever afterward characterized his walk
On account of his wounded foot he wa
placed In prison hospital. Here b
became useful attendant and Learned
ali the medicine he afterward practic
, ed with. when in 1880 he came {.
. Ayoca. This second wife, when h
. was convicted, got a divorce, and
now the wife OF q respectable man i
Kansas. He failed to capture widow
st Avoca. but he did ensnare less in