News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-10-27
FO0LING HIS GOOD WIFE.
THE MAN WHO WAS NOT A
MASON.
A Nice Old Lady Inquiries About
Her Husbands Responsibilities.
[From the Scottish Rite Bulletin. !

| From the Scottish Rite Bulletin.1
The middle-aged lady with the blac
alpaca dress, worn shiny at the elbows
and a cheap shawl and cheap bonnet
and her hands all puckered up an,
blue, as though she had just got he
washing out, went into the office of
prominent Mason few days ago, anC
took chair. She wiped her nose anC
| the perspiration from her face on blu,
| checkered apron, and when the Maso1
looked at her with an interested, broth
erly look, as though she was troubled
she said:
care you the boss Mason2""
He blushed, told her he was Mason
| but not the highest in the land. She
hesitated a moment, fingered the corner
of her apron and curled it up Ikea boy
speaking piece in school, and asked:
''Have you taken the whole 233 de
grees of Masonry"
The man assured her that there were
only thirty-three degrees, and that he
had only taken thirty-two. The Other
degree could only be taken by few
who were recommended to the Grand
Body. The lady studied minute. un-
pinned the safety pin that fastened he1
her shawl together and put it in her
mouth, drew long breath, and said:
Where does my husband get the 200
degrees, them"
The prominent Mason said he guessed
her husband never got 200 degrees,
unless he had degree factory. He said
he didn't understand the lady.
"Does my husband have to sit ND
with q L
she asked, her eyes flashing fire. "Do
you keep lot of sick Masons on tap for
my husband to sit up with the other
three nightsl''
The prominent Mason said he was
thankful that few Masons died, and only
occasionally was one sick enough to call
for Masonic assistance. When Mason
took sick away from home, or when his
family desired it, the brethren were only
too glad to sit up with him; but there
were so many Masons and so few sick
that 1t was only once in two or three
months that brother was called upon
to sit up with anybody. 'But why do
you ask the questions, madam ?" said
the prominent Mason.
The woman picked the fringe off her
shawl, hung her head down, and said:
"Well, my husband began to join the
Masons about two years ago, and he has
been taking degrees or sitting up with
people ever since, and he comes home
at all hours of the night, smelling of
beer and cheese. / thought at first the
cheese was the result of going to the
to help carry brother Masons |
home after they had been found in the
river. He has come twice with the |
wrong pair of drawers on, and when L
asked him how it was he said it was a
was a secret he could not reveal under |
penalty of being shot with n cannon !
III he would say was that he took de
gree. 1 have kept little track of it,
md | figure that he has taken 233 de-
yrees, including the Grand Sky Fugie
legree, which he took the night he came
With his lip cut and his ear hanging by
4 piece of skin.
"Oh, madam" said the prominent
Mason, "there is no Sky Fugie degree
n Masonry; your husband has lied to
-Ou."
"Thats what ] think" said she, rs a
aleful light appeared in her eye. ''He
aid he was taking the Sky Fugie de-
zee, and fell through the skylight.
ad him Sewed up and he was ready for
lore degrees After he had taken,
hould think, about hundred and fifty
egrees, 1 told him [ should think he
ould let up on it, and put some pota- {
oes in the cellar for winter; but he said /
hen man once got started he had to ,
Ike them all, or he didn't amount to ]
nything. One time | wanted a new ,
at to wear to church with feather on, j
nd he said feathers were all nonsense, !
nd the next day he brought home a I
ather case with a felt coal scuttle in ,
and feather on it that couldn't have |
ost less than $40, the way that L figure /
illinery. And when he put it on and 5
laughed at his ridiculous appearance, +
e began to throw his arms around, and {
asked him what was the matter, and ,
g said that was the grand haiEng sign
distress, and if / didn't look out an
venger would appear from dark closet
nd run toad-sticker through me for a
offer. He must have spent fortune
4 the last $50 degrees. .-.s
"One morning he came home with his
)at tails split right up the back, and
is pants torn just as though dog had !
lewed them, and one eye closed up, :
nd q wad of hair pulled right out of his .
cad, and he said he'd been taking the
Doth degree, but he wouldn't tell how
happened because it was q dead secret.
Ometimes a brother Mason comes home !
it'll him early in the morning, and they
Xix about full flush, and they act full =
S they stand on the steps and talk about ;
pat hands and raising EN- out and
falling and bob tail flush.
zone night, when he was asleep, |
card him whisper, 4 raise you $10,'
nd when | asked him what it meant he I
aid they had been raising a purse for
oor widow. Another time he raised
p in bed, after he had been asleep,
nd shouted, i stand pat, and when I
sked him what he meant he said he
yas ruined if told it. He said he had
poken the password, and if the breth-
en- heard of it they would put him out
f the way. Mister, is 4 stand pat,
our password"
The Mason told her it was not. Tha
he words he had spoken was an express
ion used by men when playing draw
oker, and he added that he didn't be-
eve that her husband was Mason at
Il, but he had been lying to her all
lese years.
She sighed and said: 'That's what /
lought when he came home with lot
ivory chips in Ilis pockets He said
ley used them at the lodge to vote on {
and that white chip elects |
ld blue rejects candidate. If you
i'll look the matter up and see if he !
as joined the Masons, l will be obliged s
you. He says he has taken all the t
33 degrees, and now the boys want
i'm to join the Knights of Pythias and i
i'd Fellows. 1 want to get out an in
motion to prevent him joining any
hing else until we get some under {
lothing for winter. I'll tell you what ]
will do. The next time he says any
hing about Sky Fugie degrees and Con ,
lstory nonsense, | will take wash.
Oard and make him think there is one ,
egree in Masonry that he has skipped,
md now good-by."