The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-25
BRIGHT BITS.

TICKET AGEST--Sonny, how old are yer'
Fifteen-year old boy-Where do yer mean?
| On Their railroad or Ter home?-Judge.
COLLEGES do the best they can for young
men. They teach them what to think and
how to think it,. They furnish everything the
young man needs, except brains
THE time of the year S approaching when we
will not look upon the inventor of the gauze
undershrt with the same reverential respect
that we did a few weeks ago.--Detron Free
Press.
Now they are forming a 'sbeef pool, Fl" in the
West. With this hint to guide them the dairy
men certainly ought to bet up a milk pool soon.
| They would probably put too much water in it.
however, Cleveland Leader.
PROUD MOTHER (haughtily)-You allowed your
self to be won altogether too easily Edith.
Edith suppose did. But as Albert is rather
bashful and am nearing go thought it only
proper to make it as easy as possible for him.
HdTDer'S Bazaar 49,
MISS RAoMERE- oh, uncle, which is the best
horse in this race?
Uncle-Oh the one that wins my dear
Miss Racimore-Then wen have bet, and I'll
have the best horse. My size is five and three
quarters.-Judge.
DAUGHTER watching the seagulls)--Do the
seaguls accompany us all the way across,
Mosher-I know two of them that do, my dear
your father and your uncle James. They are
down below now playing poker with strangers.
A PROF CRocKER has taught horse to sit
down on his launches without lying, "a feat
which is said never to have been accomplished
before Man still has the bulge on the horse,
however The former can sit down without
lying, or be can lie without sitting down, or he
can sit down and lie at the same time.-Norfis-
tOlCn Herald.
WIFE-What are some of the requirements
necessary to make successful poker player,
my dear!
Husband (thsughtfully)-we q man must be
COOL calculating, crafty, deceitful, selfish,
SLY and have a touch of meanness in his dis
position.
Wife (shocked)-I shouldn't think YOU would
care to play with such people.
Husband-Oh, most always wn.-Fuck
ARE you well acquainted with Mr. Rigsby?"
Quite we'll He is employed in the same Of
flee with me-"
He is alwas so melancholy He surely must
have suffered some great disappointment"
Yes, he has"
''Oh, how romantic. How was it:'
why he expected raise of salary on the list
and didn't get it. Nebraska State Journal
THERE was a difficulty among the singers,
and, it being rumored as a settled fact that the
choir would not sing note on the next Sab
bath. the minister commenced morning wor-
snip by giving out that hymn of Watts, Come
Ye Who Love the Lord After reading it
through, he looked up very emphatically at the
choir and said: You will begin at the second
verse:
Let those refuse to sing
Who never knew our Lord"
They sang the hymn.-1MuSicdl Herald.
ALL ARRANGED. Omaha Dame (readng)-An
Albany matchmaker, to whom q watch that
had been. dropped overheard on fishing excur-
sion was taken, found that some of the works
were so badly rusted that they were useless
IT,, said he, you had dropped your watch in oil
as soon as you took it out of the water or bet
ter yet, had dropped it into alcohol or any kind
of strong liquor, it would have cost YOU nothing
but tine cleaning.
Husband (musingly)- We'll, well Never though;
of 1t.
Never thought of what dear?'
You know that during the fishing trip l am
going to take ! might get excited while pulling
in big fish and upset the boat"
You can swin!'
Yes, but my watch would get wet"
so it would.
Yes, III just take jug of strong liquor
along to drop it into. "-OB,dhd World,