Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-03-04
FUN

time.
In favor of FREQ coinage-The conn.
terfeiter.
QUESTION of the chiropodist-"Do
YOU acknowledge the corn?"
IT is very wrong to keep o murdero,
cramped up in a small cell. He SHOULD
be given full swing.
A NEW astronomer contends that tho
moon is flat. 1t will be round at IN.
prope-: iime all the same.
A YOUNG lady in st. Louis is known
to be so modest that she can't look at .
clotheline with the clothes of.
One thing can be said in favor of thu
ice man. If he has any left over ha
doesn't warm it up for breakfast.
THERE'S no place like home," re-.
peated Mr.. Henpeck, looking at Al
motto, and he heartily added, "Im|
glad there isn't"
A BRIGHT little girl who saw threat
sisters with hair of a rich auburn, rel
marked to her mother: Seems to mo
mamma. that kind of hair must be red.
headitary in that family"
WHY is it that a lawyer al be bound
to undertake almost any kind of !
case?" asked Mrs. Snaggs. II suppose, 1
replied Snaggs, "that it is because law
yers consider every case fees-ible."
Tid-Bits.
The chief Off tribe of Digger Inl
dams worships q stone churn as his god
1t is not surprising. Many Indian
worship q stone jug, and a stone chur
will hold four times as much, if nd
more.-Norristown Herald.
B1GGs-Hello, Tiggs. How do yo
get along at Berryville? TiggsJ
Splendid. When 1 was at Plumbur
everybody in town owed me; but Nv
been in Berryville only six months an
I owe everybody in town.-Bosto}
transcript.
"The cost Ct cremating q corpse
Paris has been reduced to So remarke
Shopper. elias it?" l%istlessly replia
Niggler. "Yes; what do you think !
that??" "Why, I think the Paris cr
mater must find it hard ct that figure
urn q living. "--Tid-Bits.
MIsrREss-Why, Mary, where hal
you been all the forenoon? I told VI
you might go out for a walk for
hour, and you have been away TIM
hours at least. Domestic-Yis, mi
rum; but then I'm an awfully shld
walker, we know.-Boston Tyanscri
BARBER-Sir. you're getting ba
rapidly. I have a most excellent re-
edy- Old Gentleman-Never min
I've just yearning to be entirely bal
"Eh? Why, that's a remarkable q
sire. Indeed, -" "No, it isl
I've got a terribly wicked son, and
determined that he sha'n't bring
gray hairs in sorrow to the grave
Philadelphia Call.
"WE judge from frequent reportd
the newspapers" says Judge. I'll
Jay Gould, being a wise man, is
fond of his pretty and witty daught
in-law that he gives her a new railrd
every day." We believe she posses,
a train and q switch before she beca
his daughter-in-law, and o railroad
two, therefore, will not come amiss
No17istoWn Herald.
SCENE at m evening party:
Miidman meets and inverse witt
lady he has seen before, but he can
recall her name. They talk awhile;
thinks he has identified her. As sh
turning from him she say, with OH a
smile: "You don't know who 1 al
20, yes" said he, you are Mrs. Mad
tyre" "There," she replied. al
sure you didn't remember me;
never mind, I am glad to be taken
Mrs. MacIntyre, for she is so beauti
[ am Mrs. Sleeper" "O!" said he
beg pardon, but don't tell Mrs. Mad
tyre of the mistake I made.-Shoe
Leather Reporter.
THE POSTMASTER.
Long years he dwelt behind the latticed wal
Built of glass boxes where he mislaid mai
! With kindly patience answered every call,
, And licked the stamps for childhood weak
frail.
administrations rise and change and fall,
Serene he weathered every shifting gale.
On civil-service rules he ran the shop
And ne'er allowed his perquisites to drop.
SO n the service he grew old and gray
And oft he put the stamps on upside dow
Missorted letters in u wild, vague way,
And sent Smiths paper out to Jones by Br
LII special agent Death came by ono day
And pouched the old man through to CT
yard town.
he lay quite still, when suddenly he cried,
Mail closed! !" and drew his salary and died
! Robert J. Burdette.
HOW CALIFORNIA Was N MEN
At a meeting of the California
f0rSoo1 ConA 800.