davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
HUMOROUS.

That was merciful man of South
Yonkers who took his gas meter with
him to the coun try for a little rest
Yonkers Statesman.
What beats us is to know how it
was possible to stretch the skin so
tightly over shad, and yet not have
the bones punch through, -Da'ssviUe
Breeze
"A Ridge street man has told SO
many lies in his life that his wife has
to sand-paper his tongue three times
day-before eating. Gorhana Mount
aineer.
When your family physician gets
sick, it is not good form to call and
gaze at him every few days. 1t shows
a mean, revengeful spirit. Merchant
Ira Ueler.
A man in the park reading sign,
''Keep Off the Grass asked police
man facetiously what he could keep it
off with. with your feet,' was the
brief reply. Texas sJtings.
A rural correspondent asks: .'How
can | remove vermin from my hensP'
Make them use their combs. Your
hens don't seem to have been brought
upright. -Baaghamtom Republican.
An advertisement reads: 'sWanted
"A young man to be partly out of
doors and partly behind the counter, .
and the Cleveland Leader asks: "What
will be the result when the door
slams?"
Sam Johnsing-' 'Miss Syowball,
will yer participate in some NOAH ice
cream?" Miss SNOWFALL mo NOAH.
Mister Johnsing. / likes ice-cream
once in awhile, but not ;.s beverage.
Please 'scuse me. "-TeGas SiJiStaimqs.
-Absent-m minded Businessman Ito
office boy)-'Tommy, go up to my
house aud tell my wife / have again
forgotten my watch. Bring it back
with you. He pulls out his watch
and continues: Now, Tommy, it is
nine o'clock; ne back at ten. "--Epoch
-"You have gone to housekeeping,
hear" said Berry to his friend Hanks.
Yes said Hanks, land my wife is
perfectly delighted. She reminds me
of a tea-kettle, she sings so pleasant
~" " Humph," said Berry, "my
wife reminds me of a tea-kettle,
too. never know when she's going
to boil over. IN 7. Ledger.
She Made Mash.
'Twas a six-dollar title-to be brief,
But fat party brought it to grief;
For she sat on it fiat,
WhatHe said after that
1, We'd repeat-but we've turned a new leaf
TEXAS Siftings.
Ills at the picnic in July we sit
down on the eustard pie,' sings the
poet of the Boston Courier. To which
we would add: ..And then you skip
right straight for home and scape it
off with curry-comb.' When it
comes to poetry we expect to keep up
with Boston or smash our machine in
the attempt. -Nesonaan Independent.
An Elmira lawyer had witness
on the stand recently who claims to
have been drugged and robbed of his
money "1hey gave me something to
drink said the witness, '.and I lost
all conscientiousness. Indeed"
answered the lawyer, land have you
ever fully recovered your contentious
ness?" Faith, sor, was the honest
reply. ..many tonnes l think I have
not And the witness did not see why
the audience smiled. Elnira Gazette.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
BRlNE-SALTING BUTTER.
A Few Timely Remarks on the Advan-
tages of Applying Salt Direct.

A Few Timely Remarks on the Advan-
tages of Applying Salt Direct.
Though have frequently described
the process of brine-salting butter, as
it is called, / have not been able to see
either its utility or economy. Of
course, [ refer to the process of maxi
ing and pouring brine over the butter
in the churn or some vessel, and let
ting it stand for q time. All butter
is Prine-salted, if it is properly sailed.
There is only one other kind of salt.
ing, and that is dry sailing, the water
being so effectually expelled from the
butter before the salt is applied that
the salt remains undissolved in the
butter to grit between the teeth when
eaten. Nobody wants butter sailed
in this way. All prefer brine-salting,
and they care not how the brine is
made, nor how it is applied, so long
as it is evenly distributed through the
butter and is not deficient or excessive
in quantity. Making a brine independ-
dent of the butter, and then soaking the
butter in it has no advantage, in fact,
over leaving just water enough in the
butter to dissolve the salt and then
stirring in the salt to melt on every
single atom of butter and cover it with
brine. If the salt and the water are
properly proportioned, the brine will
be a saturated one. There will be no
waste of salt, the butter will be evenly
sailed and all the ends for which salt is
used in butter will be subserved. In case
of making brine and pouring it on the
butter, the water already in the butter
has to be taken into consideration, and
an allowance of salt must be added
to convert the water into a saturated
brine, or the brine left in the butter
to season it will be too weak to give
sufficient flavor and to preserve the ca
sine matter remaining in the butter
This is doubly perplexing, as you have
to bother with the brine, besides max
ing calculations for converting the
water in the butter into saturated
brine.
By applying the salt direct, this last
calculation is all that is needed. Be-
sides, making a separate brine is not
only extra work and trouble, but oc-
casions an unnecessary waste of salt
in lot of brine which has ultimately
to be thrown away. Salt manufac-
turers and dealers will not object to
this, nor is it likely they are selfish
enough to encourage extra work and
waste for the sake of the small add.
tional amount of trade it will bring
them. But the simplest and easiest
way of sailing butter is the preferable
one-and that IS to stop the churn
when the butter is in the granular
state, draw off the buttermilk, wash
the butter repeatedly until the water
runs clean drain the butter until bv
experience it is known that about the
right amount of water remains, care
fully stir in the salt, and as soon as it
is all dissolved press the butter into a
solid mass and pack it for keeping or
for market. If the cream is IN the
right condition and the chu rning and
subsequent handling are properly
done, the butter Will be all right
Rural Neao York.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
MANURING WHEAT.
Three General Ways of Enriching Impov-
erished Farm Soils.


erished Farm Soils.
At present prices only good yields of
wheat can be made to return profit.
One of the essentials necessary to Sc
cure this is good rich soil. There
must be a sufficient supply of availa-
BILE plant food, that strong vigorous
growth may be secured. If the soil is
not naturally rich it must be made so
by the application of manure or other
fertilizing material. There are three
general ways of doing this: One is to
haul out and scatter as soon as posi-
BILE after the crop is taken off, and then
turn under in blowing for fall seeding.
Another means is to first plow the land
and then haul out and apply the ma
nure, working we'll into the surface of
the soil as thoroughly as possible by
narrowing OF cultivating. And tho
third is by top dressing-applying a
good dressing of manure after the
crop has been sown. This acts to some
extent as a mulch and not only adds to
the fertility of the soil, but also aids
TO protect the plants from the effects of
thawing and freezing.
It has not been great while ago
since this last plan was considered the
very best, as it was claimed that the
material protects the plants, while the
soluble portions @were washed down
into the surface of the soil where the
feeding roots of the plants could Sc
cure it. One item should not be over
looked. AS general rule, whenever
you have the time and the supply of
manure, then is the time to haul it out,
and there are always some places or
crops upon the farm that will be large
ly benefited by the application.
If you are SO situated that the work
can be done at any time, then of course
it becomes an item to know as fully IS
possible the best time. OF course
opinions VIII differ. We want to. de-
rive the largest amount of benefit as
reward for our work. The manure
must be applied in a soluble condition,
dtHO III CuCh d POo1OIOu DIS ~ UC uOSG
readily reached by the roots of the
plants. This is my reason for prefer
ring to apply after the land is piowed,
depending upon the necessary work of
preparing in good tilth to work or in
corporate well into the soil. And if
reasonably well-rotted manure is used
fine enough to scatter evenly. and
then given sufficient work to embody
into the soil as completely as possible,
we have placed an available supply of
plant food in position to be more
readily reached by the feeding roots of
the plants, than by either of the other
two plants. If applied and plowed
under we place it in deep, and if used
as top dressing it is too much upon
the surface for the plants to derive the
largest amount of benefit. Cor. Farm,
Field and StocEma7e.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

Oil of lavender will drive away
flies.
Glover pasture increases the milk
yield of cows and makes yellow
butter.
The fault on many so-called
.'wcrn-out'' farms is not that the soil
is too thin, but the labor put upon it.
Fried Squash. Slice crooknecked
summer squash rather thin; lay in dry
flour. then into pan with hot butter;
fry them until brown. Cincinnati
Times
Much of the ordinary bother of
washing lamp ehimneys on the inside
can be saved by using a stick with a
sponge tied to the end.
"A Thing to Be Cherished
"There is no sweeter place than home
Upon this bleak and barren EARTH
There are no purer joys below
Than sparkle round the peaceful hearth.
Potash water is the quickest cure
for wasp or bee stings. A small guam
tity should be kept in glass-stopped
bottle. Open the sting with a needle
and put on one drop of potash water.
| -Clabber Batter Cakes. Beat three
eggs very light, add one teacup of
thick clabber, one of skim milk, one
of flour, one of corn-meal, half a tea
spoonful of soda and salt each. Grease
a hot griddle and bake Cincinnati
Times.
There is considerable ground in
the garden that for several months of
good corn weather produces nothing
but weeds. whereas it could be made to
afford feed for many pound of thirty
five cent butter and supplementing
the pastures N. Y. Herald.
Never confine an animal in its
stall by fastening rope around its
neck. Always use halters, both for
horses and cattle, as a slight mistake
in adjusting the rope or in making the
knot, may cause injury OF loss. st.
L0uis Republican.
-Buttermilk Cake.-One cup of butt
termilk, one large cup of sugar, two
thirds cup of shortening, two eggs,
and one teaspoonful Of soda. Flavor
to taste. BY putting in mixed spices
it makes a good spice cake, and I
sometimes put in a cup of raisins.--
Household.
Italian Sauce. Put into a sauce
pan little parsley, a shallot, some
mushrooms and truffies, if to be had,
chopped finely; also piece of butter
as large as a walnut; warm them to-
gether; add half glass of white vine
gar, some pepper and salt; let all boil
gently for half an hour; strain and add
teaspoonful of oil.-IndianapoIis
Sentinel.
The squash bug, says an expert
enced gardener, is easily kept under
by Manipulating. By examining the
young vines and the ground under
them the mature insect may be readily
found, after it has emerged from win
ter quarters; and later the eggs, which
are conspicuous on the under side of
the leaves, may be hunted down and
destroyed.
1t is usually safe to sell farm prod
ucts as soon as possible after they are
harvested, provided a fair price is
offered. Great risks are run in hold
ing for a higher price-risks of deple-
ton by spelling or by the ravages of
insects and vermin, which discount in
advance the higher price which may
be obtained, to say nothing of the cost
of insurance, and the likelihood that
the price may not advance, after ALL
Christian at Work.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
TEACHING TEMPERANCE

One Mothers Expe rience with the scien-
tific Instruction of Her Boys at School
| wonder if any other mother has
two boys who are such walking inter
rogation points as mine are. They
come home from school bubbling ovel,
with information, which they proceed
to impart to me in the Socratic fashion
Mamma, who killed the GorgonP''
said ArthHr-who is reading Charles
Kingley's "Greek Heroes''-one day
last week, when was busy making a
cottage pudding for dinner. 1 tried to
remember whether it was Perseus or
Theseus, and, on the Irishman's prin-
ciple that if it was not one it was the
other. managed to answer it right.
The next question proved not so
easy. Mamma, where are the East
ern Highlands?n
"Oh, part of Boston, | suppose" I
answered, absently, trying to remem-
Der whether had put any salt into the
pudding sauce.
mot right!' said my young men,
tor; 1.-The Eastern Highlands extend
from the Appalachian system to the
Great Atlantic Plain. 70 go
"Well. " 1 said, ''you can see the
great Atlantic plain in Boston; that is,
if you stand on high enough ground
and use your eyes"
"Oh, you. mean the great Atlantic
Ocean; that isn't it at ALL" said my
disguised young teacher.
The new Temperance textbooks have
just been introduced into our schools,
so, now, my teaching is all on the line
of the physical effects of alcohol of the
human system.
Mamma, what does alcohol do to
the muscles?' said Eddie, the younger
and more fervid apostle of Temper
ance, the other day.
81 suppose it weakens Them" said,
doubtfully.
mo, it don't; it changes the muscles
into fat" said Master Eddie, and both
boys looked suspiciously at my plump
SELF
"Oh, well, / answered, quickly, in
self defense, sit doesn't make good,
solid fat, but soft and fiabby."
Both boys gave my arm reassuring
pinch, and confidence was restored tn
their young bosoms.
What does alcohol doto the human
stOmach?" was the next question.
at causes dyspepsia, said l, taking
refuge in p long word.
"Worse than that" said both boys
in chorus; sit takes the coat all off Il
mans stomach"
81 have known it to take the coat
off his back, too" l answered, jocose-
ly; but they were in no joking mood.
"That is nothing, mamma; man
might stop drinking, and earn money
and buy new coat for his back, but
he could never get his coat for his
stomach back again"
Another time, when we had boiled
eggs for breakfast, the boys took Occa-
sion to explain how the brain becomes
cooked in alcohol until it is almost like
the hard-boiled egg,'till, at last, Isaid:
"Well. boys, how do you suppose
man feels with his muscles turned to
fat, the coat of his stomach all gone.
and his head full of hard-boiled eggs
instead of brains?"
81 think he didn't know what it was
going to do to him, or he wouldn't
have used it, said Eddie. "You
won't get any of the school-boys to use
it, not if they was a-dying," he pro-
tested, forgetting his grammar in his
earnestness.
After the boys had gone to school L
kept thinking of Eddie's words, and
thanking God for scientific Temper
ahce teaching IN the schools.
Herald.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
A High Road to Wealth.

First Omaha Man-Eureka! I've
struck it at last. It's new invention.
Millions in it.
Second Omaha Mani don't take
much stock in patents.
Eyes, but this one is a dead sure
thing. 1t is a hand-organ modelled aft
er the automatic race tracks you see in
hotels.
Won't pay"
"I'll have them everywhere, and will
rake in thousands of dollars a day.
Every body who comes along will drop
nickel into it,
dropping nickel into it starts it to
playing. suppose"
mo, taat stops it. - Omaha World.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
Hot-weather Temper ance Lessons.

The hot weather has preached most
impressive Temperance lesson in
score of American cities 1t was noted
in Chicago, where at least seventy
deaths were directly caused by the ter
rife heat of Friday, Saturday and Sun
day, that about three-fourths of the
persons sun struck were addicted to
the use of Intoxicating drinks, most of
them very much so, and comparatively
few total abstainers anywhere have
been stricken down. This shows very
conclusfyely that alcoholic beverages
are murderous in extremely hot
weather, and the experience of various
polar expeditions has afforded strong
testimony to the effect that they are
worse than useless in extreme cold.
At about what temperature does
whisky improve mans chances for
health and lifeP-- Cleveland L eoder.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26
He Couldn't Be Hired.

Banker-Your references are all that
could be desired. What salary do you
expectP
Coachman-Seyenty-five dollars
month.
B.-That is quite satisfactory to me,
and you can enter upon your duties as
soon as you desire.
C.-By the way, forgot to in
quire if you had any manageable
daughtersP
b. have, but what is the meaning
OF such a preposterous question?
C.-Because your having such makes
it impossible for me to engage with
you. The fact is, I car not take the
risk of degenerating into horse-car
conductor or hotel waiter. There's no
money in marrying employers
daughters, nowadays. Boston Budget.
How does your wife have her
dresses cut?a "V-shaped, / think,
judging from the number of five-dollar
bills she requires for making Them
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26

The Boston Board of Health has
been Analysing and investigating some
of the tonies, bitters and Temperance
drinks which are offered in the drug
store as .'purely vegetable extracts,
stimulating but not Intoxicating etc.
1t is found that some of them contain
from twenty to forty per cent. of
alcohol. 49,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26

ENOUGH beer is annually consumed
in Chicago. ILL.,, to give 72O glasses to
every man. woman and child in tho ;
city or $37. 40 worth for each person.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-08-26

have yet been found where it is any
thing but curse and scourge.-M
7. IadeDegdelat.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-04-07
Clean OF Their Base

CHICAGO, April 6.-Two hundred and
fifty carpenters and contractors, re-
presenting four-ifths of all the EN-.
ployers of the carpenters in the city,
held a meeting this afternoon and
agreed to concede to some of the de-
mands of the 5000 strikers. The COM
promise was rejected tonight by the
carpenters executive committee. The
eight-hour proposition was agreed to |;
also the motion to fix the lowest wages
ut 80 cents an hour, and to grade the
wages of men up according to ability.
Both these concessions were rejected
by the strikers executive committee
because the bosses had ignored their
committee when they called to-day,
while the employers meeting WAS in
session. 1t is thought that the strike
will be protracted one, and all build
ing trades will suffer greatly in conse-
quence. A detail of 1000 strikers to.
day failed to find but few carpenters at
work. and they we're in remote parts Of
the city.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-04-07
The Haddoek Murder.

Sioux Cry, Ia, April 6s-At the
afternoon session of the District Court,
Paul Leader, ore of the defendants and
the first one so far introduced. was
called. His testimony was substan-
TALLY as follows: Lived at the corner Of
Nebraska and Second Streets, August,
1886; was at the Milwaukee. House
August Sd; was at the Central House
August 9Th; was at the New England
bakery, and was going home, when
1 met Mr.. Hart at the corner
of Nebraska and Second. We wentinto
the English Kitchen Saloon, got glass
of beer or cigar, and thence to Junks.
Hart was with me. We met Arensdorf
and others to our right, another crowd
to our left. Arensdorf faced to the
front. We walked right through into
the rear room: recognized Leavitt
among the others ! didn't know |;
remained in Junks' five or six minutes;
Arensdorf was in that crowd at the
corner; Arensdorf is not the man who
fred the shot; was not at
the meeting of saloonkeepers
August I'd, 1886; believe there was
union of some kind among them. L
ganization; | attended one, meeting;
knew of no binding together or associa :
ton to whip or injure Haddock or any
one Ell e; Leavitt and they all went out
together l went out with Hart and q
second or two after Leavitt; we left
Arensdorf in Junks'. The crowd headed
by Leavitt, went along the south side OF
Fourth to Water; we followed behind
them; didn't know what they were
going to do; never had a word with
Leavitt about what they were going
to do, caught up with them at the high
fence right or left from the corner; as L
walked by him he jerked this straw hat
off.my head, and gut this gray one OH
mine; asked him what he meant and he
said That's all right" walked on
down Water Street and heard the re
port of gun behind US; looked around
and saw one man staggering eastward
and another running northward; he
wore long black coat, light pants and
brown loW-crowned hat; he went down
Water Street toward Second and on
Second home; got there about ten min
utes before the tram arrived on the MIL
waukee-sbout 10. 40; Bismarck was not
with me; didn't see him that evening
at the time the shot was fred [ thought
the man was LeaYitt; l was satisfied
that Leavitt was the man who fired
the shot, and was running away; did
not go to Haddock; l heard that Had
dock was shot five or ten minutes after
l got to the hotel: knew the marshal,
sheriff, and district attorney, but never
told any of them; the first time l left
Sioux City after the murder was the
time went to Council Bluffs with the
wife of Barmsrck; did not go before
the coroner's jury and tell that l knew
who was the murde er; did not care to
| be implicated in the murder; l was ar
rested before l was indicted; should
have told that Lesvitt was the muir
derer when arrested if had been asked
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-04-07
Little Rhody's Elsofioa

PROVIDENCE R. l., april THE State
election is in progress in fair skies and
with a close contest existing. The
prospects, favor a large aud close vote.
Early this morning the vote was very
large in dis city It is believed that
Wetmore Republican, for governor is
RUNNING considerably behind the rest of
the State ticket. The woman suffrage
amendment receives hut faint support
in this city.
PRovrDEuoE. Z. l.. April 6--The
City of Providence returEt~ have not ali
yet come in and the election hangs III
the balance. Wstmore heads Davis
slightly, but this city has gone strong
FOR the Democratic candidate and viii
probably gave him a majority.
1t is now thought that the entire
Democratic ticket has been successful,
although that was the result first an
ticTpated.
The Prohibition vote is & iizzle and
the woman 3 suffrage vote made poor
snow. The vote cast has been very
large one. and everybody that codld
case ballet has dome So The vote
on the att0rney-genaral is practically
the same Ss on the governor as far
as the returns are at ma nd. The suffrage
amendment Was defeat ed badly. Davis
majority in the State will probably
reach 900, and it rs likely to be sus-
tanned on the whole democratic State
ticket.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-04-07
The Texas Drouth.

SAN ANTONIO, Tex, April 6.-R. j.
McCarty, a resident of Somerset, Alas
cosa County, for several years. arrived
in this city yesterday, having been
forced to leave his home on account of
the severity of the drouth which now
aff1icts the agricultural districts of the
State, especially the southwestern
cotton belt. McCerty says the people
in the vicinity of Somerset and Benton
are holding meetings daily to devise
means to obtain food for large portion
of the community who are in need OF
the common necessities. Many have
deserted their homesteads and fields
and gone to search for more favored
locality. Unless there is rain at very
early day the situstion will be pitiable.
People are now hauling water distance
of ten miles.