Morning journal and courier., 1887-07-13
CLOSED.

j, Nota Bene Boston sign)-This restaurant closed.ALife. .-si eG 1ssa
 We haven't any kings and queens in this country; we have bosses.-Syracuse Herald.
 An old Georgia woman says women are near enough like men now. That's our mind to dot.-Louisville Herald.
 sf Do you rectify mistakes here?" asked @ gentleman as he stepped into a drug store. ss Yes sir, we do, if the patient is still alive" replied the urbane clerk.-Cincinnati Tele- gram.
 Rural Item.-New Yorker-ssWhat fresh air you have out here. It's so much fresher than in New York; Farmer-'tJess sol That's jest what I was saying to my old woman Why ain't all these big cities built out in the country ys"-Texas.S .Siftings.
 Giving him no show-"No, Bobby" said his mother, ssone piece of pie is quite enough for youl" "It's funny" responded Bobby, with an injured air, s'you say you are anx- ious that should learn to eat properly and yet you won't give me chance to practical" Puck.
 Omaha wife, What has become of your friend, Fireater?' Omaha husband" He is still doing editorial work, but is no longer able to hold 8 pen and does all his writing by dictation." "Does he dictate to his daughter or his wife?" ''To his daughter, of course.' Omaha World.
 Stately old gentleman (newly arrived at the summer hotel)-Wil you please tell me how can get sdown stairs, my little mana
 Rude boy-Well, yer can roll down; yer can jump down; yer can slide down the banister, Or yer can take the elevator.
 Stately old gentleman falls down in fit. Town Topics.
 She thoughtfully)- y)-George, dear, are there not things in your life when the pathos and truth of that most beautiful of all songs, Clone, sweet home, there is no place like home," appear to you with startling vivid ness and fli your soul with longings
 He Ia base ball player)-Yes, indeed, par ticularly when I'm on third base with two men out.-New York Sun.
 A misunderstanding. say, stranger" whispered western man who had strayed in an uptown theater where the play of "Ro- meo and Juliet" was going on. ''I can't make head nor tail of this thing. Whats the name of this play anyhow?" Romeo and Juliet. ssWell, if I'd known that" said the disgusted understood the fe1ler at the door to say something about Omaha and Joliet. life.
 A Woful History.-Two friends are walk ing along the street. One of them, pointing to house, says: sfThere's 8 beautiful place, but it's enough to make man sad to look at itt" "Why sop "On account of it's history; for, despite it's calm and serene surroundings, it was built upon the groans, tears, wailingss and blood of widows, orphans, old men and struggling women." ''You don't say SO. Was it built by a railroad monopolists" "Oh, no; by dentist. ."-Arkansas Traveller.
 He sat on the curbstone in front of the City Hall, in the full glare of the monday sun, with the thermometer seeming to mark 400 degrees. A pedestrian, who carried an umbrella in one hand and handkerchief in the other, thought to joke him a little, and called out: ''Well, is this hot enough for youa" 'No, sir" was the prompt reply. ssGood lands. but why not!' Because I've got the Canady ager, and this is just the time for my chill. Say, is there any hotter place than this in Detroita"- ta"-Detroit Free Press.