Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-12-07
HIsrH AND FONT.

DoawooD, strange to ray, has no
more bark than any other under
growth.
SOME people are too proud TO beg
and too honest to steal, 70 they get
trusted.
GSoMEs r supposed to inhabit deep
and hidden caves-gnome mans land,
~ you might say.
THERE 10 . Montana gambler called
Three-ball Jack. Perhape he 10 . do
scendant of Tubal Cain.-Teras Sif-
jng&.
A MAN who buys an artificial optic,
thinking he may need it some day,
has m eye to the future. Teras Sif-
ings.
JUST let A. B. G. D., and the rest of
the alphabet will be only too proud to
notice him in his old clothes. - Carl
PretzeL
"PApA," said . sweet sixteen, "what
is . tailor's goose?" "You will be q
teilor's goose. my DEAR" replied the
old man, IF you ever marry . tailor"
-NeWman Independent
BnLY-Say, Tom, let's go and have
. ball. Tom-At your expense? Billy
Certainly. Tom-Have you got the
money? Billy-How confoundedly in
sulting you are. I withdraw my invita-
ton. Tom-Oh, so you haven't got it,
hey ?-BostOn Beacon.
FoGG and Brown have entered the
city hall. Fogg-Who was that who
spoke to you just now? Brown-That?
oh, that is McFinn, n Of our city
fathers. Fogg-You don't mean it!
He speaks English remarkably we'll
for a city official. Boston Transcript
We are glad to see the mercury
sociable and take q little drop, but alas!
j is the same old story: Taking q
drop is the entering wedge that leads
to excess, and some day by and by we
expect to see the mercury take q
drop too much. Boston Courier.
ROBERT INGERsoLL thinks that many
men are spoiled by education. II Bob
was considering the way that the col
lege students study nowadays to be-
come athletes, he is unquestionably
correct. What this country is suffer-
ing for is more brains and fewer foot
ball players. --Peck's Sun.
THE DIFFERENCE.
Jack Blunt once loved q maid whose hair
With terra-cotta might compare.
N heart beats for you,' he said;
"No matter IL your hair 10 red.
With me the color has no heft"-
And he got left.
George smoothly later came TO WOO.
Said he. with passion, tender, true,
Il love you and all that 10 you;
Those locks Of dainty golden hair
The sunlight kissed and fingered there
I'd give my al for one sweet curl"
He got the girl.
-Washington Critic.
SERVANT, to the parson, who is very
i'll indeed-If you please, sir, the
chorister is down stairs and wants to
know If you won't give him the hymns
for next Sundays service? Parson,
feebly-Tell him there will be nc serv-
ice; ! expect to be dead before next
Sunday. Servant, exit and re-enter-
If you please, he says then will you be
kind enough to send down the hymns
you'd like sung ut the funeral? par
son ecovers much rapidly than
chorister.)
"PApA, that man over there is going
to get his ride for nothing" said an OBJ
servant little boy on a suburban train
the other day; "he got on when we did
and now he pretends like he was asleep.
The conductors just gone by him"
He is not 81 honest man, my son" re-
piled the father; cheating q railroad
company is as bad as any other kind of
cheating. ! would rather see you in
the cold ground, my boy, than to see
you grow up to be q dishonest man.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT the deuce are Won
stretching yourself up for? Crouch
down in your seat, you ~jabbering idiot!
The conductors coming this way. Do
yen suppose ! want to have to pay fare
for you ?"-- Chic11O Tribune.