Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-11-01
FULL oF FUN.
to let up too ilItes." Is a
IN nu Marrin,oa n ot,ooa na..

Room to let up too iiltes," Is a
sign on Merrimac street, Boston.
1t has been estimated that pair
OF wrens destroy at least 600 Insects a
day. They do this to wrenovate their
systems. -BuGalo Courier.
"A man recently cut one of his
ROSTERS wings, and then gleefully told
his neighbors that the bird could not
get into his garden on account of his
defective flew.
In tho front parlor. II p. m.--
Ethel-"Harry called tonight, papa.
He was too witty for any thing and all
smiles" Papa-"Yes; can smell the
smiles yet Tom Topics
Customer lin rostaurant)- Wait
or. how long have you had this fish on
handP" Waiter-'Dat / cuddent say,
sab. Iso only been wukin' here bout
er month. IN Y Sun.
The hottest article of mans attire
are his suspenders. But oh! how much
hotter and moro uncomfortable he feels
when thoy happen to give way in p ub-
lic.-Bar!inSsos Free Press.
-"The man who commits suicide
makes grave mistake" says the
Boston Gazette. There are altogether
tomb many puns perpetrated by tho
press. Detroit Tribune. And there's
chustnut enough Of them to suit some
people. Il Chicago Tribune.
--"What a scare I've hadr' said
Robinson the other day on meeting q
friend; my rooms caught fro yestor-
day "And thenP" II was so afraid
for my wife, "Her life was in dam
gerP" "Yes; you SEQ her disposition
is so inhammable." "-Judgs.
Managing Elitor-"Got your
Chips written for Saturday and Sun
dayP" Crazy Man-"Only got one
Chip for two days" Managing Ed
itor-"Well. er-I suppose you'll have
TO split It in two. "-Newm an hude
pendent
"A teacher said to member Of
the State Board of Health who was
investigating the condition of the
room; "No; / haven't any ventila-
tors. l don't SEQ any use for them"
"But how do you keep the air pureP"
"Oh. I've got thermometer. - Gold
en- Days.
Landlord. thought you said
thoro wasn't n single mosquito in the
place" Yes. sir. Very true, sir"
why. confound it they fairly
swarm" "Yes, sir. That's tho way
they travel in these parts, sir. You
never find 'em alone, sir. 7oton
Topics.
First Saleslady-''Mariel" Second
Saleslady-T am here" "Are you
busyp" "Yes." "Whero is the other
"she has not come In
yet. What do you wantP" II want
someone to go and ask the lady CASH
Ter II she can change n one hundred
dollar bill for a womanP"-O Omaha
World.
The old gentleman had just pro-
peeled young cadet from tho front
entrance. and as he went back into tho
house, he smiled grimly and mur-
INJURED: Il amt much of society
man, no ways ! never learned to
dance the german, but I'll be dog
gonel II amt way up when 1t comes
% waltzin' the military. Merchant
TrdUeler.
Longing for Things We Have Not
How dear to my heart are the scenes of my
childhood,
When fond rOOOllections present them to
view;
rho ice-house, tho snow-drift that 10y in tho
wildwood,
And cen the snow shovel my infancy knew,
That dandy snow shovel That gallus snow
shovel
Think OF ii oft as sit here and stew.
--Pittsbtr0h Dispatch
--Irate Old Father. al understand,
Mr.. Lytecash, that you are an expert
player" Mr. L. (difiident-
Iy)-"I rather believe l am. SIR"
l. o. F.-'I havo never witnessed a
game, nor do wish to- But rs l have
sent my daughter to bed and 1t is mid
the front door is open
suppose you crafty me by making
your very quickest home run." ."-Pitts-
burgh Bullctfn-
"A Kansas editor wrote an item to
the effect that ''the press is n growing
power" but the compositor made 1t
read 1.-THE press is growing power"
a nd when the editor came to read the
proof he concluded that the altered
fitted the vile contempor airy
across the street so we'll that he let 1t
remain that way, adding by way OF
This refers to the foul
sheet that is doing the county printing
at such brigandish prices. "-NeorassG
State Journal.