The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-20

while they were out walking. g.--- That's beer garden"
 II didn't know beer grew in gar dens."
 ''There is a great deal of it raised in gardens, my son."
 HIS LAST CHANGE GONE.
 There was a. fracas near the post office in Galveston. One man was knocked down and was supposed to be dead, but on being moved he groaned audibly. One of the parties present, Ed Huffman, exclaimed
 'sSompodies run for a doctor Dot poor devil wash not quite dead yet"
 AN EXPLANATION.
 "How far is it from the city hall to the battery?" asked one New Yorker of another.
 According to the city map it is a mile, but Pve walked it, and find it much longer"
 .I can explain that discrepancy. The city map does not go into every other saloon between the two places"
 FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT. The judge had fined him half q dozen times for being drunk, so when he was brought up his honor smiled sarcastically and said:
 Il think we are acquainted"
 "Certainly we are. How's your wife? Any increase in the family lately? I'll come round and see you when can"
 WHITE MAN RERuKED.
 A stranger in Austin met Uncle Nose and asked him:
 "Where does Colonel Yerger re- side?"
 "He libs out dar on Austin avenue somewhars."
 "What is the number of the house." Huh! You finds de number Cn de dore. Don't yer know how ter read yit?"
 HER ONLY HOPE.
 A lady, who had recently lost her husband, and friend were eating dinner together at the residence of the latter.
 "I sympathize with you from the bottom of my heart in your great sor- row." said the friend. "It must be terrible to lose such a man."
 ''Ah, me, yes," sighed the widow. "'It is only the hope of soon meeting him in a better land that gives me courage and desire to live"
 ALL IS NOT GOLD THAT CLIPPERS. "Ise very sorry, boss, dat I was led estray ter take de watch" said Jim Webster to an Austin justice.
 "I am glad to see that you regret your crime. What was it that led you to take the watch?" replied his honor, calmly.
 q was deluded by de chain, sah. I bleeved it was a solid gold chain, and dat dar was gold watch hanging at de eend of it. De chain deluded me, sah, inter taking de watch. De brass chain am de cause ob all ob desc heah complercashuns."
 TOO sANGUINE ALTOGETHER.
 As Dr. Blister was driving out in the suburbs of Austin, lady ran out of a house, and halfing the doctor, said:
 "Doctor, how is Mrs. Peters coming on?"
 'sShe is a sick woman, but I think she will pull through all right" re- piled the doctor.
 'You do? Why, her son-in- law, Bill Smith, told me there was no chance whatever for her recovery" "Well. you see he is hopeful kind of fellow. He always looks on the bright side of things"
 CoNsIDERATE MENIAL.
 Sam Walkup, although in affluent circumstances, is one of the most shabbily dressed men in Austin. His colored body servant, Tom, on the other hand, dresses like dude. One day MT. Walkup said to Tom:
 '1It must cost you great deal for clothes You are always dressed in the height of fashion"
 "Yes, sah, it does cost me right smart, but I does it, sah, entirely on your account"
 "On my account"
 1eS, saHs ei Was ID Oftss as you do, nobody would hab the slight est respec' for you, sah."
 AMICABLY ADJUSTED.
 Do you mean to call me a liar!" asked one rival railroad man of an- other railroad man, during a dispute they had on business.
 "No, colonel, don't mean to call you liar. On the contrary, say you are the only mar ia town who tells the truth all the time, but Pm offering a reward of twenty-five dol lars and chromo to any other man who sAys he believes me when l Ay you never lie" was the response.