Arizona weekly enterprise., 1887-05-07
Patt's Parrots.

There is dear Charlie; another is called after the great American celeb rity, Ben Butler; then there is one called Jumbo, not on account of Its slender waist, but for other particular reasons. But. clever as they all are, Polly beats them hollow. s never makes a mistake in her answers, and whatever you call her she says in reply what she means you to know. Knock at the door and she'll cry, "Entr-r-r- rezr' You ask her, How are youP" she will answer in French, Pas mal; ct yous?" Only once tried her in English hard. and got my reward. dipped my fingers in water and spr.nk- led few drops over her; she looked at me, lifting up a little black paw, anI unctuously and solemnly said, You pig" Rossini. who used to take snuff not always in the cleanest fash ion said once to Polly, m give you a biscuit if you sing something" Polly stre' ched out a friend y claw and said. ''J ai du bon tabac dans ma tabatiere -tierre-tierre" "- enspie bar.
 was going up in one of the Yonge street cars the other evening The car was well filled on both sides-chiehy by ladies-and. being very narrow. it was next to impossible for ono to move in or out by reason of the intcrlocked feet of the passengers. A lady got on the platform and sought a seat, but there was none for her. A young man at the front of the car rose and offered his, but the new passenger couldn't make her way to it. The other lad es looked back at her very indilferently, and, while it would be the easiest thing in the world to move mp a peg" none of them budged. You may as well take your seat, sir" I heard some one say to the young man; ladies never make room for each other.-TorOHto (Oistario) Globe.
 An Ottawa letter represents that the Marquis of Lansdowne, the Governor General, and his consort endeavor to make themselves popular with the Canadians and all local celebrities are pretty sure of gratifying attentions from them. Not long sheet Marquis saw in the local newspaper that a cer- tain gentleman, whose name cOrres- bonded with that of native author, was registered at an Ottawa hotel. Be- lieving it to be the author, their excel lencies invited him to dine. Dinner was announced for half-past seven; but at quarter of eight telephone mes- sage came: Cant go; I'm stuck for a pair of evening boots" ''Come on; never mind that" was the reply. He did come, but he was not the author. Good heavens! we've got the wrong man." whispered an aide. But we must make the best of it now," was the hosts reply. He was boisterous commercial traveller, a driver of fast horses, arrayed in massive chains and elaborate rings.
 Johnny Fizzletop, of Galveston, is going to be the Vanderbilt of Texas when he grows up. He is not very in- dustrious at school, but he has got a wonderful head for business. Having obtained private interview with his teacher, Johnny asked: Am I going to get certificate that l have been an industrious boy during the past week?" No, Johnny, I'm afraid not. You do not deserve any" Come. let us req son about this matter. My father has promised me S5 if bring home a good certificate. Now don't you see that there is money in that for both of us? Don't you see that our interests are mutual You give me the certificate and you will fondle dollar right off I'll give you 20 per cent, or one-iifth of what get" The teacher, who, like most teachers, was poor. half-starved wretch. yielded to the temptation to amass wealth. Johnny got the first class certificate. and the pedagogue ad- hered to the dollar. To this day the teacher is not aware that Johnny got S10 instead of $5 from his father.- IeraS ottlipgs.
 A story is told of N1ugatuck man who purchased load of wood of one of his neighbors. The wood was of such poor quality and so crooked that he complained bitterly about it. Finally, after eXhausting his vocabulary, he said: If ever see a meaner load of uo ood than this I'll apologize to you for what 1 have said: The man who bought the load of wood moved to Westport, and after several years had passed came home one night and look ed over Il load of wood that had been left in his yard during the day. He walked around it few times, and finally went into the house and said to his wife, Il have got to go to Nauga- tuck right away" What have you i got to go to Naugatuck now for?'' in- l quired his wife. "Why told Mr. So- l andSo that if I ever found a meaner load of wood than the one that he sold me would apologize to him for what l said about it; have found it and am going" And he at once took the train for NaugatI * and apologized to the man accOrdiuo to his nromiSa - RrifL0e.