The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-11-24
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

FUNGENI PARAGRAPHS.
The Englishman who said that hug
cling was 'arnless" was wrong. Its
armful.-LJs.
The first frost is twice blessed. 1t
brings down the chestnut and the mos
quitO.-Puck.
Man attributes his misfortunes Na
bad luck and his success to shrewdnss&.
-Hhitehau Times
There are twenty-one bureaus Of,
labor in the United States. Four years.
, ago there were only seven.
I'm the way of good corn-planters,
there is nothing to equal a tight boot.
unlessit be Il tight shoe.-AI6GDy ArgHs.
Speaking about alacrity, you should
observe clerk tack up an early-closing-
notice on store door.-Boston Globe.
Language was made to conceal
thought A dude has no use for Ian.
guage, then. for he has no thought to-
conceal-TId-BitS
There is no law to prevent man
making fool of himself. If there was.
some men would be at a loss how to-
pass the time.-Teras SittinqS.
"A man was arraigned on Saturday
for robbing hackmen He must he &
criminal of extraordinary ability
Philadelphia Inquirer.
When q man attempts to warm his
bands over a hotel register it is high
time to inquire into his mental condi-
tion.-Hotel Null
What a terrible thing it would be
if dazzling dude should make mis-
take and light 'full dress cigarette"
while he was in street costume.
Globe.
Two women have been known to.
get along pleasantly in the same house.
for several months, but it so happened
that one of them was blind and the
other was deaf and dumb.
First Citizen-"I say. Jack. this is,
queer April, isn't it?" Second Citi--
zen-"Yes, rather; but is it any queerer-
than usual?" First Citizen-"I think
so-a good deal; haven't lost a single
umbrella yetr'-Ncl0 HaUen Ne,cS.
Her Father-"YOung man, do not
object to your calling occasionally ON
my daughter. but you mustn't stay sos
late. 1t was twelve o'clock last night
before you got away" Young Man
Got away is very good, sir. l either
had to stay or get my coat torn"
My house was entered by burg
lar last night" 'Is that so?" What
did you do?" Nothing but look at
him." did he carry off any thing?''
No; he SAW that there was only wood
stoves in the house and not particle
of coal on the premises. so he went
away.-Ne5rGsEG State Journal
Customer Ito grocer IL see by
the market quotations that quite
change has taken place in the price of
butter" Grocer (startled) that
so? (To clerk)-James, mark that.
butter up five cents" Customer
1.-The price hasn't advanced, it has
dropped" Grocer-"Oh! (to clerk)--
Never mind, James. "-Terds Sittings.
"A Sweet Maids Query
She kissed her pug-with haste arose
And rained upon that creature s nose
A storm OF oscillations sweet:
The swell reclining at her feet
Remarked, as he looked sideways up,
81 wish that d been born pup"
Then, smiling coldly from her throne,
She said: And were you born full CROWN
Boston Courier.
Once upon a time lion got y,
thorn in his foot. He was believing
Justify, when poor peasant, attracted
by the animals cries, came along and
extracted the thorn. The lion was
quite overcome with gratitude. Said
he: Good friend, you have done me
Il service which can not forget. lean
never consent to part with SO good a
friend" And he devoured the peasant
on the spot. Moral-There are some
folks who will use their friends for all
they are worth. Better let such folks
howl till they burst. They're used to-
it. Help them once, and they've got "a
mortgage on you for all time. -EI-
change.