The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1887-06-08
A MISERABLE WIFE.

A MISERABLE WIFE.
"Yes, professor, am afraid l shall
have to rent or sell my farm. Ny wife
is so miserable. l cannot carry it on
without hiring, and hiring eats up all
the profits"
| looked at the speaker admiringly
He was about fifty, but as robust as a
man of thirty. His whiskers were neat
ly trimmed, showing a full, red cheek.
He wore jaunty hat and a natty cuta-
way coat, and below his vest hung a
silk fob and heavy gold seal. l was
proud of him. He was such perfect
picture of the New York gentleman
from the rural district that | wanted to
imprint his picture on my memory.
$50 your wife is miserable?"
''Yes, kinder droopin', with dry
cough and no ambition. She just
kinder drags around the house, and
looks so peaked and scrawny it gives
me the blues. 1t does, | swan
Naturally weakly, wasn't sheP"
''She? Oh, no. When | married
her she way the smartest girl on the
creek. She used to work for father,
and the way she made the work stand
around took my eye. She was poor
girl, and her industry got her a rich
husband.
Here he carelessly took out a gold
watch, looked at the time, put it back
and adjusted the silk fob on the front
of his nicely-iitting trousers.
$50 she did well, getting married on
account of her Industry"
.'Why, of course; she was getting
only 81 so a week, and she became the
mistress of farm. =
Excuse me, but how much are you
worth now? confideutially. you know.
/ am a scientific man, and will never
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor"
"Well, professor, 1 could crowd $780,
900 pretty hard"
THAT is good. How long have you
been married?'
Thirty years next Fourth of July.
We went down to Albany on a little
teeter, and 1 proposed the match and
Jane was willin'."
"How much do you suppose you
have made in the last thirty years?"
''Hum-um-lem see. l got the
Davis farm the first ten years, then, l
run in debt for the Simmons place. got
war prices for my cheese, and squared
up both places. Well, l think l have
cleared up $4,000 since we spliced."
"Vely good, indeed. And your wife
has been a great help all this timeP"
"Oh, you bet! She was a rattler.
She took care of her baby and the milk
for twenty cows. / tell you she made
the tinware flop. Why, we have had
four children, and she never had a
hired girl over six months in that
timer
Splendid; and you have cleared
$50, 900 in that time?"
s'Yes; easy"
Now, how much has your wife
made?''
''She, why durn it, professor, she is,
my wife"
Il know it. But what has she made?
You say she was poor when you mar
ried her. Now, what has she made?"
"Why-by gum, you beat all. Why,
she is my wife and we own it all to-
gether.''
''Do you? Then she can draw on
your bank account? Then she has a
horse and carriage when she wants
them? Then she has a servant maid
when she wants one? Then she rides
out for her health, and has a watch
and chain of gold as you do? Is that
sop
professor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife is boss in that shape. Who
ever heard of such thing?"
Now, look here. You say she did
well in marrying rich, and l cannot see
it. If she was getting 81 80 per week
when you married her, and had saved
her wages, she would have now s., ,000
If she had invested it, she would have
had 5000. Now you tell me she is
| broken down and used up, and miser-
able, and looks so badly she makes you
sick, and she has no money. no health,
and viii get probably nothing but a
Scotch granite tombstone when she
dies?''
| Professor, if you was a younger
man | would lick you quicker'n a
| spring lamb can Jump THISTLE
What for? l am stating the case
| fairly, am / not? Your wife is no longer
| young. She is no longer handsome.
Her hands are as hard as local edi-
tors cheek, and she has stopped over a
milk can until she has hump on her
back like peddler."
.sShut up, will you?"
..She has raised four children. One
of them is at college. One of them is
taking music lessons at Boston. The
other two are teaching school. She is
at home alone, going around in tread
mill life, which will end in rosewood
coffin and first-class country funeral.
stop that, professor, will you?"
while you are handsome man
with just enough gray in your whiskers
to make you look interesting. No
doubt you have been thinking of some
nice young girl of eighteen who would
Jump at the chance to marry your
thirty cows and twenty acres of hops
Professor, won't stay here if yo1
don't let up on that
s.And your wife does not look well
in that new Watertown wagon, and SC
you take the hired man and neighbors'
girl to meeting. Your wife never goes
anywhere, so you never give her q
watch like your own, nor new silk
dress, nor pony that she could drive,
nor basket phaeton that she could
climb into without a ladder. She new
er says anything, 50 you never have goi
her set Of teeth like your own gold
and rubber, but she has got to gum i
until her nose is pushed into her fore
head and her face wrinkles like burn
boot. She never goes out, but shs
don't dye her hair as you do yours, bu
/ it looks like milkweed pod gone t.
seed. She has to work in the kitchen