New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-17
CLEVELAND TO TAI AT THE FAIRS



President Clcveands friends 40 not conceal tner un,
easiness at the growing popularity 3t Governor il,
had serious consultation with Dan Lamont on this very
topic q few days ago - - ,.... -. a
when he OF his funny spells ne refuses 10 taIx
otherwise than loosely on any SUBJECT lie wa: IN one
him on the subject OF making speeches at the country
fair, in order neutraze the efforts of Governor lii
The following dialogue occurred:
President" say, DAM don't you think II good IDEA
Dan" do indeed, Mr.. President Governor Hill Is
making himself popular by his speeches at country
tell the truth Mr. President you have used your little
veto often that you have made yourself unpopuiar
You want TO give your veto ana make 10"
But don't know anything about farming"
'In order make telling speech to farmers II is not
necessary to know anythng about farming wna' gets
them Is humorous speech with l.te any ABOUT 'her
being the bone and snew OF the land, etc 1890
" But I'm NO darned mountebans l couldn't mako
humorous speech II we're to be paid for IT, o,,,,
My friends say that when let myself out rm one OF the
We'll. now. Dan. give me a few points to tickle the
hay seeds" said the President sharpening pencil
make speech at fair in the south advise the planters
when the cotton 10 choked with grass anu ~eeu , 70
the fact that you had substitute In the Union army
THAT good JoRe." said the President making note
.but Daniel dou't see any necessity OF reviewing the
bitter memories Of the war by you continually harpng on
Excuse me- Mr. President. Il shalt not occur again
When talking to Northern hayseeds don't forget
to get something about their brows like their nelds
dont think they would like that. besides 1t seems to
me I'VE heard that before. | dcBt want TO give them
chesnuts and the President ran his penc through
you might ring in something about every farmer
showing Just caws for killing the crow" .,,,,
"Dan, you deserve a crow.no for that, but don't
think ri say anything about crow IL may shena1e
some of my Democratic friends 40, ,, ,.....
lyon should say something about tho dairy interest
II would break old ali up for you " say
that we'll farmer does not drink as mucn
milk he And II you were TO add that waie s9ngs
forty cents Dozen the effect VIII Do so great hae DH'o
Hill will have to send for doctor, he will be so Sick
The President made note OF tue iast TWO Johos anu
Dan Lamont continued ~,
"You might remark that while the COW Is not poeu-
cal she often breaks the stiffness OF the evening
air with the notes OF her moos No, strike tnat OUT
What does farmer know about the muse don thnk
Mr. President thai your speech TO the Farmers snouo W
There il no great danger OF being so remarked the
President, rather gloOmiy.
Dan failed perceive the slur for he remarked cneer
"A little common sense will not hurt the speech You
might say, for instance. that large farm without SKILL
capital and industry Is plague To Its owner IL Is ike
what said OF self the more OF
it you have of are Most OF these country
jakes go % church and they WIZ catch on rs"t
Now that's sensible point replied the frcsident'
And above all things Mr. President, don't forget to
sliug In o little poetry. For instance;
A farmer once called his Zephyr"
She seemed such an amiablc heiferi
when the farmer drew near
She kicked of his ear,
And the old farmers much dephyr.
Tho President shook hi. head aud remarked that the
farmer nigh think he was being made fun OF.
swell, II you don't like that how will this dot"
My name Is oieo Margarine
I'm mighty nice to HANDLE
Aud when they want To MAKE me,
They milk u tallow candle
and little poetic hit like that will make them wild with
enthusasm Tor second term. tell yous MI Presldsnt,