Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1887-10-29
WIT AND HUMOR.
THE FASHIONABLE FEEDER

THE FASHIONABLE FEEDER
At banquet one night hungry crowd
rushed.
Yelling "Wsilow. hog wallow. hog wal-
low.
And the pigs in the alley with enc aooord
squeal.ng: ~wsllow, hog ~allow. hog wal
low.
NO wonder we're left in the alley and street,
Shut out from the banquet and those who
there meet.
With that style Of manners ~e canno, COM
pete,
Oh, wa!low hog walow. hog wallow"
Washington Crtsae.
The umbrella with the solid silver
handle stays borrowed As we'll .. any
other
The glass of fashion during cold
weather - -Four of Scotch. hot
Fanny Folks.
The cost of the cigars and whisky of
the average man would buy his wife
$500 sealskin sacque, but il doesn' tt
Buritngton Free Press.
The rack was one of the instruments
of torture in the olden time. The
music rack is usually used for the same
purpose to-day Boston Manufacturers
Gazette
Tramp-"I am in need Of little
money Gent = Why don't YOU
shovel show?' Il haven't time"
How so?" ''All my time is taken up
in begging. - TeraS SyttngA
There was once a time when we
wondered what the difference was be-
tween an alderman-at-large and q
plain, everyday alderman. We think
We perceive 4 difference now.-LUe.
Little boy pulls reveler in saloon
by the coat-tail. What do you want,
Tommy?' Come home, pa. Ma has
been waiting with the poker for you
fog the last two hours. '-TerdS SUt-
,nys.
An inventor at Stuttgart is said to
| have perfected machine for deadening
the sound of a piano. 1t will not be
success. The only sure way to keep a
piano quiet is to deaden the pianist
| Utica Observer.
A Massachusetts soldier who was q
prisoner in Libby adyertises for some
/ one who can remember whether he
!! had Boston baked beans served him or
not If not, he will apply for a pen
/ n.-Detrott Free Press
/ If there is anything / like better
I than classical music, said Maj. Bran
nigan in high voice, as he moved
with the throng out of the concert
room, Its lemons, They both set my
teeth on edge. San Francisco Post
First Knight of Labor-"What do
you suppose Smith said the first time
he saw that baby Of his?" Second
Knight-'.Give it up. What did be
sav?" First Knight Lets make a
knight Of it. Burltngton Free Press
Western highwayman (to supposed
merchanD-Halt, and throw up your
hands. Traveller Shaking his sleeves)
There they are, eight aces and eight
kings. Highwayman Say, pard, can
you gimme chew = New Have,'
NeWS.
Father (to daughter) Have you
accepted the addresses of Mr.. Money
bags?' Daughter =" Yes, papa"
Fa1her-'Well, isn't he very old my
dear?" Daughter-'Yes, papa; but be
isn't nearly as old as wish he were. y
-Neao York Sun.
sWen. | declare" exclaimed Mrs
McSwilligan, If one of those Chicago
Anarchists isn't going to be married
| think it's rank shame" so do I,
replied her husband II think hang
ing is punishment enough for him. -
PtttSburg Chronicle
Connoisseur Cooking at the picture
of female head )-'.Ah. Here some
thing worth looking at. One Of the
old masters; no doubt Of It." Hi
daughter, Why, pa. how blind yot
are getting. Can't you see it's a wo
man ?"-Boston Transcript.
Mother-'Good night. Robbie; dom
forget 10 say your prayers. Robbie
"But mamma. don, have to say m,
prayer any more Mother-"W Wha
do you mean?" Robbie.
forgot to say them last mig and
was all right this morning '-H4rrart
Lampoor.
First worshipper-"Why are ro'
wearing those big thick ear-mutf-
ACII4IlAi. ~ ISL tpIds s7tIoEtl WI
shipper-''I am going to church" ~
am /; but what Of that" I'VE hav
discharged our choir and are going t
have congregational singing to-day.
--Iid- Bus. .
An impressions" sent In a><.Sun
set picture to the Royal Academy. II
carefully marked on the baN Il th
frame which was the right side ~, III
he added, in polite note. ''Shou..~tn
work be placed on your wall upsi
down, please catalogue it a. sunrise
London Telegraph
Sweet girl-''And 90 you have bee
on the plains for ten years2' Hand
some boy-..Yes, this i the fir.
time I've been back iuto real ciyi!iz.
, ton" Now, please tell me- in tLa
) lonely life, 20 far removed from th
refining influences of-eiyilization. 30
know-what did you miss most?
L