Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-08-19
that the more ridiculous they can make

sensible they must prove themselves 10
be, merely by force of contrast. Wo-
man, the whiskered sex would have us
believe, is illogical, unmethodical, and
can reach results only by haphazard in
tuition, instead of by the divine Reason
with big r which is monopolized ex-
clusively by man.
Without entering upon any abstruse
speculations as to the relative merits Of
reason and intuition-that is to say, rs
to the manners of men and the ways of
woman-one practical illustration of
the methods pursued respectively by
the sons of Adam and Ewes daughters
will be sufficient to prove to oil unpre-
JUDGED readers that not only, as the
immortal Sam Patch observed, some
things can be done as we'll as others,
but that the same thing can be done in
different ways and the result be as salts
factory if reached in one way as by an
other.
So much for preface: now for tho il
lustration.
Not long ago Fogg bought new car
pet, and thinking to save the expense
of laying it he told Mrs. Fogg he would
do the work himself.
Fogg and the carpet arrived homo
early in the afternoon. Fogg got out
of his good clothes and into the old
suit that had been feeding the moths
through the winter. He armed himself
with tacks and hammer, with yard
stick, q two.foot rule, carpenters
square, q ten-foot pole, and tape
measure. First he unroiled the carpet.
spread it out to cover the floor, walked
over it two or three times, pulled it
here and twitched it there, puckered
his mouth, corrugated his forehead,
and was half dozen times on the
point of asking Mrs. Fogg's advice, and
would have done it only he knew it
would please her too we'll.
"Of course!" he suddenly exclaimed,
as one who recognizes the force of o
new inspiration. Then he took his
measuring instruments, one after the
other, and then all together, and pro-
ceeded to get the exact dimensions of the
room, with all its angles, recesses, pro-
jections, and catti-corners. Next he
sat down and drew an elaborate diagram
of the premises.
"Now, said he, jumping up briskly,
II can go to work in a business-like
way"
Taking his diagram he proceeded to
the scene of action. He measured here
and yard-sticked there and ten-poled
in every direction. He labored long
and we'll; he ripped the carpet, un-
raveled the edges, pounded his nails
quite as literally as the tacks, and
uttered language quite shocking. and
when he got through have Mrs.
Foggs word for it-"that carpet was
all askew." 1t was, as the same au-
thority expressed it, "a sight to be-
hold"
Fogg himself remarked that he never
saw such a carpet in all his life. There
wasn't any shape to it. He was all
right; of course it was all the carpets
fault in cases of this kind.
Mrs. d. said nothing further than,
well, l wouldn't bother about it any
more tonight, Daniel. You are all
tired out and had better go to bed"
Next morning Mrs. Fogg, without
stopping to change her apparel, went
to work to see what she could do. She
began at the beginning by undoing all
that her lord and master had done.
Then she took a string, measured across
the room, and down it's length, solilo-
q1liZing meanwhile about $50 much and
half finger" "three times and two
fingers, +" "once and little bit over"
with various other equally unintelligi-
bic remarks.
Then she got down on her knees. and
with hammer and tacks she had that
carpet down quicker than scat, and as
smooth as her own placid brow, and
| DIV toOo ~ = A4SIIl liC4 WIN Will SDiIlG
unruiied and clothing unsoiled.
When Fogg came home and saw the
room all put to rights, with the carpet
fitting as though it were painted on the
floor, he felt proud Of his wife: yes,
actually proud of her. OF course he
didn't say anything further than to re-
mark that it was easy enough to put
down a carpet by daylight; anybody
could do that.
But Mrs. Fogg doesn't care. She
knows that Fogg thinks she is worth
her weight in gold, but that he thinks
women, like children, are not to be
praised for fear of spelling them.
But when anybody tells you that a
woman is illogical and unmethodical,
mention this little story about putting
down carpet.
THE JUDGE HAD II ILiyNED.
"Jede, said the foreman of Mis-.
souri, jury, thar is goin' to be hangin'
down at Bazoo day after tomorrow.