Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1887-04-22
STORIES OF TRAvERS,

Iic Nih"VN vi HIS OlllCe, MI. lTdNerS
surprised friends who were chatting with
him by forcibe ejaculation. "There,''
he added quickly, pointing across the
street. "there's- with his h-b-
hands in his own p-p-pockets."
Mr.. Travers got in rap at Henry
Clews at the time of the famous Wander
bilt ball. Mr.. Clews, with many other
gentlemen, was in a quandary on the
question of a character and costume. He
applied to Travers for a sugges tion. The
latter had been improving his friendly
relations with Mapleson. Wallack and
Abbey by sending inquiring friends to
them for permission to select from their
theatrical wardrobes. The story goes
that the managers had limited to Mr..
lravers that patience with the fashion
able had ceased to be a virtue, and so
he was not inclined to favor any more.
'Il-Henry." said he, after looking criti-
cally at Mr.. Clews's shining poll for a
moment "why d-don't you sh-sb-ugar
your head and go as pill?"
Mr.. Travers was standing on the curb
in New street one day 20 years ago. buv-
ing some stock of dealer whose counta-
nance bespoke his Jewish descent .W-
w-what is y-y-your n-n-name?" inquired
he of the Hebrew. Jacobs. renlied tba
seller. "1-yes, b-b-but what is v-v-vour
c-c-c-christian name?" asked Mr.. Travers
whereat the street was convulsed.
a friend who had acted on his advice
i'll regard to speculation. and taken his
money out of the street, bought a house.
Mr.. Iravers met him subsequently and
asked him how the house suited. .'The
house is all right, Mr.. Travers." was
the answer, "but am pestered 70 deatb
with rats" 'G-get c-c-cat." suggested
Mr.. Travers. Eve had dozens. but tbe
rats actually drive them out of the cellar,
"G-g-get a d-dog." was Mr.. Travers's
second suggestion: II know where Won
c-can g-get d-darned g-good d-dog." He
then recommended his friend Harry .Jen-
nings, the dog fancier and agreed to on
and help in selecting the dog. One was
thought satisfactory, and Jennings having
put dozen or more rats in the pit. if
was thrown in to show how quickly if
could Kill them. The dog killed all except
one gray-headed old fellow, almost as
BIG a the dog, which seized the dog bv
the under lip and held on. The dog velped
with pain and tried to shake off the rat.
out IN VAIN TraverS became greatly ex-
cited. He called to the dog and then TO
Jennings, and finally rushed up to his
friend with: "B-buy the rat. B-buv the
rat,
John Morrisey thought he knew good
race horse when he saw it, but many of
the animals he tried at Saratoga proved
failures. While he was patting one of
his colts on the track one dav. Mr.. Tray
er> walked by. "W-what h-have v-you
got there. john" he asked. stoppinp
near the animal. "A race horse" Nor
. risey replied. with an air of satisfaction.
"a r-race horse. calculated TraverS.
, YES. sir: Il race horse. Are YOU going
to bet on him." "le, I'll b-bet ON him. :,
replied Travers. decidedly. "How ~
asked Morrisey. somewhat obviously.
"lll c-c-copper him."
ii. &. Stebbins had dispute with Mr.
| TraverS over a bid for a stock one dav in
the exchange. The list was being called
Stebbins persisted that he named the
price. ''W-w-well," said Travers. lit NAV
be that Mr.. St-Stebbins g-got through be-
fore d-did, b-but I'll b-be hanged if
5 didn't b-begin b-before he-he did" Mr..
l Travers got the stock.
One man came to Mr.. Travers to sell a
mine. He showed all the reports and
finally said he had taken 100000 out
r of the mine. He was, however, willing
to sell the mine for much less than it had
2 already produced. IF yo-you ha-hadn' t
; ta-taken anything out, th-think would
ta-take the mine" was Traverss ready
: answer.
E Probably the happiest sally Mr.. Tray
erse ever made, and which has been stol-
enand paraphrased by innumerable para
graphers and humorists ever since, was
when he took his first voyage on Fisk
and Gould's palatial steamboat Plymouth
p, :. Rock to Long Branch in 1870. 1t had
!. 1 been the custom of the loud and vulgar
; Fisk to have portraits of himself and his
2 partner in some conspicuous place in
. every steamboat they owned. In this
u particular steamer life->ize bust of each
- was painted on each side of a large Nene-
: tian mirror which confronted the passen-
: ger IA he assembled the staircase to the
- grand salon. On the day in question, Mr.
Travers was mounting the brass bedeck-
ed stairway with the plethoric Fisk in
his wake. As he reached the head of the
!, stairs his photograph was reflected
- through the mirror and to an on-lookel
/. occupied central position between those
d of Fisk and Gould. Turning suddenly to
a H. ,>.;,,.o of E,ia rrayars axnlaina1