St. Paul daily globe., 1887-08-22
SUCH is FAME.
Bill Nye Has an Ohio Baby Named
After Him.

BELLEFoNTAINE, o., Aug. Is, 1857
Ny Dear Mr.. Bill Nye: Is it Upper
who says babe i'm the house is drive
we'll or well-spring of something? We
have lovely new one in our hOuse-I
don't mean a drive-well, that's in the
back yard, but baby. He is not like
any other child ever saw. / can't eX-
actly describe in what way, but there is
a difference. He is ever so much pref
tier and sweeter and smarter, and /
ought to know, sir, I'm his mother. He
is not red faced, with stupid, winky
eyes, like other children, but a regular
little angel, with the cutest fat legs hu-
man eyes ever gaZed on. His nose is
not a mere knob, neither is it skinny
probOscis, such as you sometimes find.
but bids fair to be ROmanesque in its
contour when it grows to its proper pro-
portion along with the rest of the baby.
Then his dimpleS, his mouth, his pink
toe nails, are perfect shay dooverS of
art. Extreme diffidence prevents me
from saying that everybody thinks he
looks Just like me. His father says the
baby has manSard roof to his mouth
exactly like mine, and that's why his
voice is so high and can be heard so far
when he cries. Some people might
think such remarks unfeeling, but Pm
accustomed to little witticiSms, having
been married over year, just now
our household is wrestling with the
question of suitable name for the dar-
ling. Several thousand names have
been sent in by the rel
ativeS and friends. with five
seem to fit our pet. One aunt suggests
John BuniOn, but the very thought is
painful to me, for l had one of those
horrid things on my left foot once, and
it nearly crippled me, so, of course, l
don't want any more such things in the
family. My mothers uncle thinks John
Bright would be good name, but l Oh
ject. Isn't he the man who invented
Bright's disease? And why should 1
wish to infiict the name of so unprin-
cipled a person on my innocent babe?
My cousin in Iowa proposes the name of
one of his favOrite authors, Oliver Gold
finch, SophOcleS and Don Juan; but
got enough of those old English demi-
gods and heroes of antiquity when
was a schoolgirl to last me the rest of
my life. Besides, what good can come
of naming boy for those effete. civili-
cations? Dead men have no corner lots
to give away, no money in bank, no
railroad stock or anythinglOf value.
Not that | am mercenary, Mr.. Nye. l
wouldn't have you think so for the
world, but if you are a parent you feel
with me the sweet SOlicitude that so
mOmentOuS matter brings to the soul
and all that, you know. Grover Cleve-
lands name has also been under con-
sideration by some members of the
family, but to this make a vigorous
protest. Why, l ask, should one man
have all the honOrs of this world heaped
upon him.? Is it not enough glory to be
president of this great republic without
the further distinction of having our
baby called for him? l, for one, do not
believe in shOwering all the blessings
of heaven on one person; it is apt to en-
| gender arrogance and pride, and Mr..
Cleveland is only human like the rest of
us. Far from me is the desire to aid in
making him ''stuck up'' and vain.
The name, however, we have finally
fixed upon is one you bear! Yes, Mr..
Nye, our precious one is named for you.
In fancy can see the joyous sparkle of
your eye, the delight dripping from
every pour of your countenance. SO to
speak, when your mind RECEIVERS from
its first frenzy of bewilderment and