davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
THE CRANK AND THE WAITER.

The Man Who Wanted Toast-The Order
Kepeated-A Tip at Last.
The crank's stomach was out of order; not
that there is anything remarkable in that, as
the stomach has been the fountain of all
%crankiness from Diogenes down to Carlyle.
But the stomach of this particular crank was
feeling particularly bad. He entered q res
taurant Oh Madison street with a scowl that
turned all the milk in the place sour, took a
seat with n sigh II raped sharply and
nervously on the edge of a glass tumbler with
a case knife. SO sharp and nervous was the
summons that everybody in the place looked
up with n start, and the ebony colorel dis
penser of viands forgot that digniied delay
characteristic of the importance of his office
and of the movements of all other great bod
les, and FASTENED Immediately to the crank's
side.
"Give me" said that peculiar individual,
"some tea and toast-and when I say toast I
mean toast. What's the reason continued
he, raising his voice as the memory of pre-
vious experiences rose up before his excited
imagination, "that when you order toast in
a restaurant you can't get itl If you'll
let me come out there Ill show you how
to make toast. I'll put the bread on a fork
and hold it before the Goals ind brown it
thoroughly, first Oh one side and then Oil the
other. l wouldn't throw it for about two
seconds on top Of a nasty stove, dry it out q
little on one side, then bring it in and lie
about it, and say it was toast. Do you un.
cerstand! l ant some tea and toast
toast::7
"All right, sab; all right, saL," meekly re
piled the dignified pro-Adamitc. A. moment
later he thrust his head through the kitchen
port hole and yelled in u voice professionally
suave, but of such volume that the customer
pricked up his ears to hear:
"Toast for n gentleman! Drowned on on,
side-browned on the other side-browned OF
both sides-browned on the inside-brownee
all around the edges!"
Then, returning to the crank, the waite
meekly said: "Be heah, sab, as soon rs it
DONE"
That peculiar individual ate his brcakfas
in silence, seemingly oblivious that lie and hi
toast were objects Of considerable interest t
other breakfasters, but when lie left he slyl
slippeda quarter into the walters hand. Al
of which tends to prove that even a crank il
his crankiest moments has q spark of ordinar
human nature about hin somewhere if yo
only know how to find it.-Chicago Herald
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
The Scribe at the Circus.

OH, the drums were heard, and the piccolo
note, rs the circus uptown raraded, and tho
shorn off mule and the whiskered goat and
the elephant lumber shaded. l followed it
calmly ut carly morn, my work and my
labors spurning, and l harkcd to the sound Of
Il rusty horn with a wild and unhullowed
y%carning. Few and short were the tunes
they played, and they paused not ut all to
monkey; so l slowly followed the route they
made, at the heels of the lopeared donkey. l
bought up Il seat ut the show that night, and
looked at the timber woman, who tied herself
in u knot so tight she seemed more like hemp
than human. And l eagerly looked at the
wondrous bloke, who swallowed some cotton
blazing, and blew from his n~ostrils n cloud Of
smoke till thought he was sheol raising.
And l watched the clown, as lie ran and
rolled, and stood in q dozen poses, and
worked off u string of jokes so old, they canle
from the time of Moscs.-Atchison Globe.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
The Supposed rolnr Sea.

The existence of an open sen at the north
pole is believed in by many distinguished
scientific men. DIR. Kane stated that it
was reached by one of his exploring parties.
There is something to wonder Mt in a band
OF men crossing immense fields of ice, with
the Thermometer so to 40 dcgs. below zero,
and suddenly striking n warm sea, with the
thermometer 80 to 40 dcgS. above zero.
This open sea, said to have been iiscov-
cred by DR.. knne's party about seven de-
grccs from the pole, is explained 10y the dis
covery of an immense body of warm water
in the Pacific ocean which finds its way
through Bchring strait into the Polnr basin.
where it mingles with another vast body of
warm water incessantly poured into the
basin by the Atlantic gulf stream. Two otli-
GERS of the German Polar expedition of
lS'0-7l claim to have followed the coast line
of the open Polar sea for nearly 500 miles.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
Milk in Chunks.

st. Nicholas tells how the people Of Siberia
in winter buy their milk in chunks instead Of
quarts. For convenience it is sometimes al
lowed to freeze about u stick which comes as
a handle to carry it by. The milkman leaves
one chunk or two chunks, as the case may he,
at the houses Of his customers. The children
in Irkutsk, instead Of crying for a drink of
milk, cry for a bite of milk. The people
there in the winter time do not say "Be care
ful not to spill the milk" but B careful not
to break the milk" Broken milk is better
than spilled milk, though, because there is an
opportunity to ave the pieces. Irkutsk people
hang their milk on hooks instead of putting
1t i'll pans, though, of course, when warm
spring weather comes on they have to use the
pans or pals, as the milk begins to drop down
from tho bool-c
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
THE CURIOSITY SHOP.
The Battery by Which Certain Electric
CMl Fish GiYn SIncks.

The Battery by Which Certain Electric
cal Fish Give Shocks.
The apparatus for generating and discharge
ing electricity in electrical fish may be de-
scribed best by taking the torpedo for n SUBJ
ject. The apparatus is composed of n num-
her of perpendicular columns in the shape OF
eisht-sided prislns separated by walls OF
membrane, containing n fluid freely supplied
with blood, and laced with nn immense num-
Der of nervous flaments, the whole being
something like a g%nlvamic pile. In one very
large fish l.2m columns were counted, and
100 plates to the inch. In one specimen of
American torpedo it was estimated that there
were 100000 plates, the priSins being about
two inches in height and containing 100 plates
to the inch. The intervals between the plates
are filled with albuminous fluid, mostly
water. but containing salt in solution. That
the discharge of this fish is the s,nne MS that
OF common electricity is shown by the fact
that it renders the needle magnetic and de-
comroscs chemical compounds. while by it
heat is evolved and al electric spark obtained.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
A BOY AT SEA,

Boys who enters this school must be of
good moral character and bring with them
the written consent Of their parents or guar
dams. They must also evince some aptitude
or inclination for a sea life. The course OF
instruction is two years and embraces the
ordinary English branches. and seamanship
and navigation.
In May Of each year the st. Mary's leaves
New York or its annual cruise, crossing the
Atlantic to one or more ports in southern
Europe, usually Lisbon or Cadiz. The cruise
occupies from two to three months. The
only expense attached to this course of two
years nautical instruction, during which
time a home and living are supplied, are a
deposit of s35 by each boy on being received
on board, and the supplying of his own I'M
derclothing. This deposit is used i'll purchas-
ing uniform, clothing, mattress, blankets,
and the like. On graduation, each boy is
given a certificate which has always entitled
him to consideration in obtaining employ.
ment in the merchant marine. Boys who arr
faithful to their duties are competent a, tbs
end of the two years to assume the duties o.
officers of q merchant ship.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
Coats of Arms,

Heraldry seems to have had its origin in
the necessity of using some device to distin.
guiSh persons concealed 10y their nrmor while
waging battle. From the use of these devices
on garments is derived the phrase "roat of
arms There are arms of states, of commune
ties, and of persons and families. The first
are those assumed by sovereign princes or by
governments as distinguishing hodges for
their respective kingdoms, empires or states.
The second include those of ecclesiastical, lay
and municipal corporations. The third are
insignia borne by individuals and families,
generally by right of inheritance or of grant.
All follow the same general heraldic rules,
and are displayed OH n shield or cscutcheon.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
Emhlcmatic Elnuar.

There has been some dispute recently as to
whether any special flower is enblematic Of
America. The rosc stands for England, tho
thistle for Scotland, tho shamrock for Ireland,
the lily for France, corn flower for Germany,
snow flower for Switzerland, tulip for 1Iol-
land, cactus for Mexico, maple for Canada,
chrysanthemum for Japan. 1t is claimed
by different persons that both the violet and
the Mayflower are emblematic of America,
but if any particular flower were in common
use to represent America there would be no
cause for dispute. Certainly there is no
doubt about what is represented by the thistle
or the shamrock.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
IN tho Omen Cars.

81 spend my evenings i'll the open cars"
said a Brooklynitc. "After years of cxperi-
epce l find that a ride 90 the front scat of an
open cur is more exciting and certainly much
cooler than a journey to Coney Island.
There is little or no dust, and that night must
be very hot when there is no breeze. Try it
some time, and III bet that you will agree
with me. What can be more charming on O
sultry evening, when the thermometer is i'll
the eighties, than to ride behind q team OF
horses of which there is not the slightes,
danger Of running away9 And then there il
always something to attract the attention.
Brooklyn Eagle.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
NOTICE OF FINAL PROOF.

LAND OFFICE AT BISMARCK. u. II.
Aug. II. 1851.
Notice in hereby given that the following
named settler has filed notice of his intention TO
make final proof in support of his claim. and
Campbell Judge and cx-oticio Clerk Probate
Court OF Stark county, at Dickinson. Oak. Ter.
on the aitl day of Scptcm her 1897. viz:
WILLIAM KENNEDY.
for the soutli east quarter, see. 10. tip. 139 north.
range as west.
He names the following witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon, and cultivation of,
SAID land. viz: Alexander Morton. Archibald
Morton. James Moody and John Monchan. all OF
whose post office address is South Heart, Oak.
JOHN A. REA,
;luu. 9O-it. Rrui4ter
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
More Than He Bareained For.

Lovers are prone to self depreciation. Said
he. tenderly, as they sat looking at the stars:
II do not understand what you can sec in me
that you love me-" "That's what everybody
says gurgled the ingenious maiden. Then
the silence became SO deep that you could
hear the stars twinkling (Ala.)
Advertiser.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
The First Atlantic Dispatch.

The first dispatch over the Atlantic
cable was n message of congratulation
from Queen Victoria to President Blu
Europe and America are united by telegraph.
Glory to God in the highest; on earth peace
md good will toward men,"
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24

MONM Of the good things Of this
N~ose1 life are sorrowfully let
alone on account Of Dyspepsia. Acker's
Dyspepsia Tablets will cure Dyspepsia.
n 1naigsss' ea. ana e1 m 81 snd 10 50 sent on b a
Dickinson Drug Co.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24

The st. Mary's Nautical school of New
York city is the only one in the United
States at the present time, though a school
will probably be established at the port of
Philadelphia during tho coming fall or win
ter. The New York school was regularly
established in 1873 by the legislature and tho
navy department placed tho United States
ship st. Mary's at the disposal of the school
commissioner to be used us u schoolship, and
detailed officers from the navy to act as in
structors and officers of the ship.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
TAKE JOY HOME.

Take JOY home.
Ant makea place in thy great heart for her;
And give her time to grow, and cherish her;
Then will she come, and oft will sing to thee.
When thou art working in the burrows; ay,
Or wedding in the sacred hour of dawn.
1t is n conlely fashion to he glad;
JOY is the grace We say to God.
Jean Ingelow.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24

The Raven and His Black Coat.
The raven wears his mourning coat because
he was once guilty of repeating a slanderous
story. In the beginning his plumage wa.
white as snow, but for this transgression the
heathen god Apollo changed it into black.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
Thirsty Corn

1t is said that during its period of growth
Indian corn draws from the soil thirty-six
times its own weight of water.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24

A banjourino is an instrument designed for
lady players and several actresses will use il
In musical comedies next season. 1t is a
banjo with a big body and short neck.
No~,4 trife with any Throat OF
oON Lung Disease. If you have
q Cough or Cold, or the children are
threatened with Croupo or Whooping Cough,
use Acker's English Remedy and prevent
further trouble. 1t is a positive cure,
and we guarantee it. Price 10 and 6Oc
Dickinsod Drug Co.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
Teachers Examination.

n. teachers examination will lr held at Dick
inson. in the County Supcrintcndcnt's office on
October 1l1h. lsS7.
Applicants for teachers certificates are to pro-
vide their own stationery and pens. All exam
mations will he public.
TO secure II First Grade Certificate, in addition
TO the common branches taught, applicants must
pass Il satisfactory examination in theory and
practice of teaching. Civil Government. Algebra.
Book Keeping. Natural Philosophy and Gcomc-
Try. THOMAS EVANS.
Sept. 1s-3t. Supt. of Schools.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
THE LADIES!

If You are afflicted with rheumatism, neura lgia
nervous exhaustion. dyspepsia, or with disease of
the liver. kidneys, headache. or cold feet. swollen
or weak ankles, or swollen feet. an Abdominal
Belt and Il pair of Magnetic Foot Batteries have
no superior in the relief and cure Of all these
force to the seat of the disease.
For lame back, weakness of the spine. falling
of the womb. lcucorrlua, chronic Inflammation
and liberation of the womb, incidental hcmorrhagc
or flooding. painful, suppressed and irregular
mrnstrnation, hnrrrnncss. ana hang OF NE. tnis
Price of Supporter with Magnetic Foot Bate
rics. $40. Sent by express L. o. D.. and cNami-
nation allowed. or by mail on receipt of price and
if not found satisfactory even after six months
trial they can he returned and money refunded.
In ordering. send measure of waist and size of
shoe.
They are worn over the undcrclothing. They
They hold their power forever.
Send stamp for the New Departure in Medical
Treatment Without Medicine. with thousands of
testimonials. Send for circulars. Write us full
particulars as regards your ditficultics-ordcr di-
Get.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24
YOUNG FOLKS COLUMN.
A SCHOOL WHERE BOYS MAY LEARN
TO BE SAILORS.

How Children in Cold Siberia Eat Milk
in Chunks, Instead of Drinking 1t.
The French Spider and the Pretty
rarlor.
The Dickinson press., 1887-09-24

Cadets of the first, second and third classes
call each other by name without the prefix
mr." but "Mr." the plebes and make the
plebes Mr." them. This is done to show the
fourth class that it is not the equal of the
others .-Ex-Cadet in N. q. Tilnes-Democrat.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1887-04-30
THE NEW LICENSE ACT.

Following is the full text of an amend
ment to the License Act, which was passed
at the last session of the Legislature, and
approved February /, 1887:
SEC. TO- The County Auditor shall
from time to time deliver to the Sheriff as
many of such licenses as may be required,
and shall sign the same and charge them
to the Sheriff provided, that before sign
ing or delivering any license to Sheriff,
the Auditor shall I'LL out the license in
full, stating therein to whom said license is
issued, the kind of business authorized to
be carried on under the license, the room,
building and placewhere the business is to be
carried on, the dates when said license be-
gins and expires, and the amount of money
to be paid therefor, and shall at the same
time make entries of the same upon the
stubs in the license-b book. Whenever any
license is returned, by the Sheriff, unsold,
the Auditor shall cancel and file the license,
and note the fact and date of such cancella-
tion upon the stubs thereof. No Board of
County Commissioners shall audit or allow
any claim in favor Of Sheriff until there
shall be filed with said Board the certified
statement of the Auditor that all settle
ments required by tne 71st Section of the
Act of which this is amendatory, have
been made by said Sheriff. The amount
of all licenses issued to the Sheriff aud not
accounted for shall be deducted before any
claim shall be allowed to Sheriff. No
county shall be liable to the Auditor, other
than for his official salary, for any fees or
for any services required Of him under this
Act.
The construction placed upon this
amendment is that all persons requiring
licenses shall apply to the Sheriff for the
same, giving in the application a descrip-
tion Of the room or building in which the
business is to be carried on for which the
license is Issued.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1887-04-30
THE NEW LAND BILL.


SECTION l. Every person who has ap-
piled to the State of Nevada to purchase
any land from it, or who has contracted
with the State of Nevada for such pur-
chase, or who may hereafter apply to or
contract with the State OF Nevada, in
good faith, for the purchase of any of its
public lands, and who has paid, or shall
pay to the proper State officers, the amount
of money requisite under such application
or contract, shall be deemed and held to
have the right to the exclusive possession
of the land described in such application or
contract; provided, no actual, adverse pos.
session thereof existed in another at the
date of the application.
SEC. 2. Every person who has con.
tracted with the State of Nevada, in good
faith, to purchase any land from it, shall
be entitled to maintain or defend any ac-
tion of law or equity concerning said land
or its possession, which may be maintained
or defended by persons who own land in
fee, and every person who has applied or
NAV hereafter apply to the State of Ne
vada, in good faith, to purchase any land
from it. and has paid or shall pay the
amount of money which may he required
under such application, to the proper State
officer, shall be deemed and held to have
the right TO the exclusive possession of such
land. and shall be entitled to maintain and
defend any action at law, or in equity,
concerning such land, or the possession
thereof, which may now be maintained or
defended by persons who own land in fee;
provided, no actual, adverse possession OF
such land existed in another at the date OF
such application.
SEC. 3. Nothing in this Act contained
shall be construed as to prevent any per
son or persons from entering upon such
landsfor the purpose of prospecting for any
of the precious metals or to prevent the
free and economical working of any mine
which may be discovered thereon.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1887-04-30
AN ACT

TO REGULATE HOUSES OF PROSTITUTION, DANCE
HOUSES AND HOUSES WHERE BEER, WINE OF
sPIR1rUoUs LIQUORS ARE SOLD.
The People Of the State, represented in
Senate and Assembly. do enact as fol
lows:
SECTION l. 1t shall be unlawful for any
owner, or agent of any owner, or any
other person to keep any house of ill-fame,
or to let or rent fer any length of time
whatever to any woman of ill-fame any
house, room or structure situated within
four hundred yards of any schoolhouse OF
schoolroom used by any of the public
schools in the State Of Nevada.
SEC. Q. 1t shall be unlawful for any
owner, or agent Of any owner. or any
other person 10 keep, let or rent for any
length of time, or at all, any house 'front.'
ing on the principal business street or thor
oughfsre Of any Of the towns of this State
for the purposes OF prostitution, or for the
purpose OF keeping any dance.house, or
house commonly called "hurdy-house, -
or house where wine, beer or spirituous
liquors are sold or served by females or
female walters or attendants or when fe-
males are used or employed to attract or
solicit custom, nor shall any entrance or
exit way to any house referred to in this
section be made or used from the principal
business street or thoroughfare of any OF
the towns of this State.
SEC. 8. Any persons violating the pro
visions Of Sections one or two of this Ac.
shall be deemed guilty OF misdemesnor,
and on conviction, shall be fined not less
than twenty-five dollars. nor more than
three hundred dollars, or be imprisoned
in the County Jail not less than five nor
more than sixty days, or by both such
fine and imprisonment, in the discretion
of the Court.
SEC. 4. The provisions of this Act
shall not apply to towns and cities now
Incorporated.
SEC. 5. In the trial OF all cases arising
upder the provisions of this Act, evidence
OF general reputation shall be deemed
competent evidence ss TO the question of
the ill-fame Of any house alleged to be
so kept. and to the question of the ill-fame
OF such woman.
SEC. 6. 1t shall be the duty of the Dis
trict Attorney and Sheriff of each county
in this State to see that the provisions Of
this Act are strictly enforced and carried
into effect, and upon neglecting so to do,
they or either OF them shall be deemed
guilty of misdemeanor in Office. and may
be proceeded against as provided in SEQ
tions 63 and 70 inclusive of an Act en-
titled "An Act relating to elections" ap-
proved March -. 1873.
Sec. 7. This Act shall take effect and
be In force from and after the first day of
May, 1887.