The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-08-31
The Old Kicker.


last week, whom every man In the cal
was cross and irritable, on account OF
not being able to sleep tho night be-
fore. The old kicker knew that II was
going to be unsafe to start any CONVEX
satlon that would be apt to cause nm ar
gumont, because the grocery drummer
looked careworn. was unshavcn, his
eyes bloodshot. and he had oar
bundle on his neck. He sat In the cor
ner of the car and evidently wanted to
be let alone. The floor walker in tho
store, who sat next to the girl type
writer In law office, was evidently o
victim Of nervous p,ostration from the
heat, overwork, and loss of sleep. and
he had cat-boil coming on his nose.
so the old kicker decided not to open a
conversation with the floor walker.
The insurance agent had look on his
face that showed plainly that life was
not filled with unmlxed pleasures, and
as he frowned at the kicker before the
old man had fairly got seated. he de-
cided not to monkey with the Insurance
agent. But the wheat broker, who
always has pleasant smile for every
body. beamed on the kicker 80 sweetly
that he ventured to remark. as he
wiped the Precipitation from his face.
This is going to be sorcher, and
don't you forget It,"
The wheat broker smiled, took of
his hat and handed 1t to the kicker,
and pointed to piece of paper pasted
In the inside. with some words printed
on 1t. The kicker took the hat tried
to make out the words, then put on
his speotacles and read out loud "Thc
holl you say" The passengers laughed,
Notwithstanding they were all feeling
sick. the old kicker handed the hat
back, said, "you think you are smart,
don't YOU" and leaned back and folded
his arms, and spread his knees apart so
that his elbows stuck into the ribs of
couple of girls on each side OF him, who
hitched along away from him, and
looked cross and warm. The old kicker
sat quiet for few minutes. and then
he opened up:
"You fellows remind me of o dream
I had last night"
II am something of liar myself"
said the drummer.
Ring the bell softly, there's Grape
on the door," said the foor walker.
"Are your lives insuredp" asked the
insurance agent.
Let It talk" said the wheat broker.
''then we shall know 1t is alive. Go
on. old man, and give us your dream.
We yearn for it, but make 1t cool
Don't dream you were in hades. as
would be natural, but work in the
north pole" The kicker said:
You see. yesterday attended the
base ball match, and got al work ed up
over the umpire. and lost 9 hat on the
game. Then last night when looked
around for some crackers and things.
for a lunch, before going.to bod. all l
could find YVES paper bagafull Of these
animal crackers that had been bought
for the children. You have seen those
crackers, cut out in the shape Of all
kinds of animals, guess. Well, I eat
about pound of'crackers. and went to
bed, and after got to sleep / dreamed
that / was umph.ing base ball game,
in which all the players wtue animals.
A kangaroo was catcher. and had q
chest protector made Of a section of
ripe, and the pitcher wew a gorilla,
who pitched cocoanuts. II the striker
nit cocanut he cracked tho she'll, and
The animal who caught it, drank the
milk. The elephant went to bat and
knocked the ball over the fence. and
monkey retrieved 1t aud rushed up into
he grand stand and sold the milk to q
girl from Oshkosh. As umpire l called
he hit a foul, and the elephant turned
around and said 'rats' to ma. and
aid, ''play ball,'' when the elephant
old me to 60 there myself, and he start
ID to run aroup d the basis. l called
lin back and. fined him five dbllars.
nd he gave d sound with his trum-
'et, and all the animals come of
he field and made 1t hot for
ne. The elephant whaoked me
nth his trm X. the kangaroo kicked
ne in the sto mach with his hind feet
nd welted me with his tr1pe chest