The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1887-05-05
BILL NYE TO HEN NYE.
HOW TO MAKE A COUNTRY PAPER
ACTUALLY RED HOT.
An Editorial on "Mark Antony"-A
Proud Father--A Question In Arithme'
tic-The Peculiarities of Buncombe
County Buttor-Corn Dodger.

County Buttor-Corn Dodger.
'AsHEvILLE, N. C..
MY DEAR SoN-TI wish you wopld please
change the address of my paper. to this
place, whereYouf. mother and are now
staying. I got Tie .Retina albright last
week, and seeSthat you are going to en-
large it, SO have sold my hay in order to
prepare for the event.
What is your idea for enlarging the
paper before the town enlarges? OF
course am no journalist, but have often
thought that if I had been doomed to
issue q paper like The Retina, and then
answer at the bar sW judgment for it, l
would not get power press till tie town
cot a good darksblue hook ana ladder
company and a postotfice. :.
like your editorial on "Mark Antony''
first rate. can imagine how excited the
people of your town were when they sew
The Retina Saturday morning and read
what your estimate of Mark was.
wish you would incidentally pick up a
few others of those old people and weigh
them. That is, ,one,of the. .lqxuries of run
ming papeEyQnrself. Youcan speak right
tout and walE all lover these people.
would like to hear what y6fr honest con-
victions are in regard to Diogenes. 1t
would be worth almost what I have put
into your paper as q silent partner.
A PROUD OLD PAPA.
You canThaye no IDEA, Henry, how 1t
swells me up with pride and lofty disdain
to know that while I am sleeping calmly
under my roof tree as heard man call
l. onoor Y1r,, ora CHI nm fhocp old
frauds like Julius Caesar and Hamlet and
Portoullis and Andronicus and Mrs. Poti-
phar and other people who have become
historical.
That was my idea when sent you away
to that female seminary, or whatever it
was, where you went to get educated.
wanted you to come out with q whole lot
Of thoughts that showed right on their
face that they were expensive. wanted
you to be able to tell dowra at the store how
much A, B and C would each have to
grind off circular grindstone four feet
three and one-half inches in diameter,
with square hole in the center three and
one-fourth inches each way, provided A
pays one-sixth of the price IF the stone, 3
onahaf, and G the. balance, with the
understanding that G shall use per cent.
more than his share, provided he will turn
the grindstone. WANTED you to be able
to talk with foreigners in their native
tongue the darkest night that ever blew.
desired that you might become man
who could walk up to an Italian as he
plays bis organ voluntary, beneath your
easement and tell him in his own musical
alarm clock language what you think OF
him
So 1t pleases me to know that you are
printing paper now SO you can show OF
to advantage what have invested in you.
BuNcoMDE COUNTY BUTTER.
After while want to write 9, little or
ticle for your paper, not so much for the
purpose Of saying anything, but in order
to show the contrast between the polished
work of a well educated, smart young
man and the crude efforts Of plain man
who is entirely untitled for everything ex-
cept paternal purposes.
We are having good time here in the
south, enjoying the climate and making
experiments with the butter which is pro-
duced here. Butter made in the fast
nesses Of the hills in Buncombe county is
mostly Of pale pearl gray, with q pin
stripe in it of ultramarine. This does not
look badly, and it sets off a hoecake first
rate.A This butter is not eaten by the
people who manufacture yia They are
poor sometimes; and have to eat most any
thing that will sustain life, but they draw
the line at this butter.
went out into the brush last week to
buy load of wood, and took tea with q
gentleman who lives in an open face cot
tage pm the other side Of the mountains.
I then discovered that these people do not
eat their own butter. did not notice any
butter, but they had gravy as asubstitute
for it. Corn dodger in and Of itself will
not melt in the mouth, 80 I looked around
for means of lubricating my own. At
that time the warm hearted and hospita-
hle host made the following remark:
Stranger, you mustn't be squeamish.
Just waller yer dorger in the dope. That's
the way we do"
!. then proceeded to waller.-Bil Nye in
:, Chicago News.