The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-12-07
HVMOR.

WHEN man is up stump he feels
bad. When q squirrel Is up stump
he feels all right.
A NEW labor movement-Getting up
in the morning to light the fire when
your wife tells you.
HEALTH may be wealth, but flush"
doesn't always indicate the possession
of either.-Teras SJtirags.
WHEN Boyton dimes while floating on
the waves he never complains of his
billow fare.-Teras Siffings.
"MIKE, did you ever catch frogs?"
@Yes, sorr." What did you bait
with?" @Bate 'em with a shtick, sorr."
YOUNG writer-What do you think
of the poetry / turn out, sir? Old
writer-Think you serve it just right,
sir.
WHAT are you doing now, Thomas?"
asked the minister, patronizingly. II
am a writer for the press" said/the
lad, proudly. Indeed, you are quite
young for that. What do you writer"
II direct wrappers.
VISITOR (noticing an active autumn
industry)-"I should think that Chica-
90 would be an excellent place fof<
comic papers," Citizen-"Why so?"
Visitor-aIt is such q good chestnut
market. "-Arkansaw Traveller.
WHAT has he done? That was Ma
poleon's test. What have you done?
Turn up the faces of your picture
cards! You need not make mouths at
the public because it has not accepted
you at your own fancy value.--LoaceH.
BosToN hostess (entcrtaing guest
from Chicago)-What condiments will
you have, Mr.. Wabash? Mr.. Wabash
Thanks, nothing more, Mrs. Waldo;
/ am abundantly supplied with every
thing, with the exception, perhaps, OF
little pepper and salt.
The fexibility of the English lam
guage is shown in the reply OF an IRISH
man to man who sought refuge "A ~
shanty in q heavy shower, and find y
it about as wet inside as out, said, "You
have quite pond on the floor" "Yis;
shure we have great lake in the roof"
Editors DraUer, IN Harper's Maya
zine.
FIRST Undertaker-Come around to
my house tonight. Second Under
taker-I would but have an engage
ment. "Business?" "No, promised
lady friend of mine to call this even
ing and try to cheer up her husband"
"Sick?" "No, he's funny man on
newspaper. "-Omaha World.
II SEE it stated" remarked the horse
editor, "that the use of tobacco tends
to destroy the memory" Il think it
does," replied the snake editor, and he
looked very hard at his colleague as he
said it. IL have noticed that the man
who uses the most forgets to purchase
it when he is on the street. Pitts
bargh Chronicle.
"YoU must practice economy, young
man." said the old gentleman; "you are
altogether too extravaganza. Il do
practice economy" was the response.
Il only ate bowl Of bread and milk
to-day for my lunch" "That looks
BETTER" commenced the father, some
what modified. "What did it cost you,
ten cents?" well, 1 had to give the
waiter half a dollar, father. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
GENTLEMEN, thundered the Judge
to the contending lawyers, "this case
must be settled before the court adj
journs. There has been dilly-dallying
enough. Well, what is it?" he said,
turning to court attendant who had
ventured to bespeak the judicial atten-
ton, Il am very busy" "A couple of
political friends of yours" whispered
the attendant, "are outside waiting for
you to .Join' EN-" upon furtheK con-
sideration," said his Honor, "I declare
this court adjourned until tomorrow at
IL o'clock. "-Epoch.