Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-10-28

RESULT OF THE IMPROVEMENTS
1t must be remembered that Boss Shep-
herds high handed government" was
not born of the people of the district, but
of Congress. In Washington we do not
vote for president, nor for congressman.
nor for judges, nor for sheriff, nor Tor
selectmen, nor for mayor, nor for
aldermen. All officers, high and low, are
furnished by the president.
-SOme prominent newspapers are fOnd or
| abiding to the people of Washington as
Government Paupers," and only the
other day the New York Times said !:
Here the government seems to have Il
paternal care over its citizens. 1t clears
away the ash barrels, cleans their streets
| for them, compels them to keep their
alleys clean, plants trees for them, arrests
boys that destroy robins and blueblrds and
Washington is now the show city of
America"
Nothing could be more unjust. The
| Federal Government owns two-thirds of
| the whole area of the city and one half of
the actual property of the city, and 1t
pays exactly half Of the expenses of the
city-the citizens raising by taxation each
year as much as Congress approprlates.
Since the foundation. of the government
the citizens have spent three times as
much for improvements as the govern
ment has, and now they pay one-half of
the expenses of local government, in the
selection of which they. have less voice
| than any other people of the country.
A struggle will be made next winter to
have Congress assume the debt of twenty
millions left by the Shepherd regime.
Only three States have as large debt as
the District of Columbia, which is consid-
erably larger per capita than even That OF
the city OF New York.
THE PLACE TO LIVE.
Washington is an ideal place of resi-
| dence for the wealthy There is no com
merce here, no manufactures, no great
| tributary agriculture: In these respects
it has not the aspect of city at all. 1t is
merely the nations workshop, and fur
nishes shelter and collects food for those
| who keep the shop running.
With hundred miles of asphaltum
streets it has finer drives than any other
| city in the world.
1t has more trees and more parking than
any other city in the world of its size.
1t has better market than New York
or Philadelphia or Chicago or London.
Its death rate is small.
| 1t exhibits a handsomer square mile of
residences than any other city in the
world, except perhaps, New York, and far
beauty and variety of its architecture.
Here gather every fall the intellectual
elite, or, at any rate, elect of the land and
here assemble in the pleasant villas of a
| Winter Saratoga's cultured thousands
from all the great cities OF the North Soci-
ETY. here is not petritied, or even frozen; it is
mobile, flexible, fluent. AS on the
deck of a steamer strangers hail each
other with Good morning." so here, in
transient assemblage, while preserving
dig nifty, they dispense with some of the
conventional barriers. So society in Wash
ington in the cold months becomes most
elightful-breezy and full OF ozone.
know nothing in the world more eXhila-
rating than the HETEROGENEOUS society of
theiruniuue community.
MARK TwAIN's NEW PLAY.
Clemens was here the other day. | had
not seen him before in year. Asked
about the recent production of his play,
THE American Claimant" in New York
with that superb fun maker, A. p. Bur
bank, in the title role, he was somewhat
retcent, but expressed doubt about the
alleged failure of the play while admitting
that it might need doctoring here and
there"
The fact is the play is without dramatic
parts or story. 1t is plainly a monologue
immensely funny, but lacking move
ment. Burbank, it seems to be agreed
did with the part o. Sellers Senior all that
anybody could have done with it, | an
permitted to give condensed portion OF
the title role with dialogue omitted. 1t is
broadly farcical, and is here printed ful
tne HrSC time.
Burbank to the fIont with a big anC
grotesque nograph-Edison's talking
machine. Explains
This is my grand adaptation of the
phOu ograph to modern Service-stOring
up profanity for use at sea. Any pious
and well-educated captain will tell you
that the mate who can do the best Job OF
swearing can get the best sailors by al
odds. But ship is a big thing and the
mate cannot be everywhere at once. On,
mate will sometimes lose a ship tina
would have been saved if she had had 100
Now, | distribute these Photographs al
over the ship and there she is-armed a
every point. The effect of 100 of my ma
chimes going at once ell shi in a storm
would he simply sublime. You might see
the lightaing, but you wouldn't hear thu
thunder. The ship is just as safe us If sh,
; was in a cellar.
TO prepare the machine you simply
stand over it and load it. Every word i
collars il keeps. 1t never wears out-yol
simply turn the crank and out it comes
In times of great peIil you just reverse /
: make it swear backwards. That vii
make sailor curl up and die"
2 The venerable colonel invents multi
tudes of machines, and finally arrives a
the conclusion that nothing is worthy o
; his attention except his great scheme 70
naturalization by scientific processes
2 the restoration of the dead to all the nee
essary functions of-life." He stands owe
I big glass wheel like that which gener
ates FRACTIONAL electricity in our laborato
I ries, and, as he turns il, the sparks fly al
it," he says "purely a scientific process
I Spiritualists," he goes on, "materializ
! poor little spectre, or here and there
! leg, or arm, or foretinger, by taking sub
I stance from each person in the circle.
+ propose to do this on large scale, | pre-
| 70 lott no rta