The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-12-17
NOT A SPEAKER.

An ex-governor of one of the South- ern states, while at Il dinner ln New York, recently, was called upon to make a speech. He arose anal said
 "l have never attempted to mako but ono speech, and as that attempt was failure, can hardly expect an effort to bc success now. was once called upon at harlacne In West Tennessee to advocate tho claims ot a candidate who. l was assured, was m exceedingly popular man. was comparative stranger In the eonlmu- nity. l wished, shortly after mount ing that monument ofpolltics bar rel--that had been stranger with out any comparison. 1 forgot the name of the man whose claims was--- paid to advoeatc---A and while search. Ing the corners ot my mind, gnsping hero and there at some cobwcb thrrad of recollection, some ungrnclous iel. low struck mo with tho hind leg ofan ill-cooke'l sheep. lam not cxei,sblc. but this unexpected attention startled me; but an was unaequalnted with the social customs of those peculiarly communicative people, did not place the action under my scorching glow of criticism, but, wiplng lingering lump of suct from my expression of countenance, resumed my cobweb search for the name of my illnstrious candidate. A glcnm of light fell Into the garrct of my mind, and glowing spccks swan In a quivering streak of gold. A shadowy name-a sort of gray rat--ran across the floor. Gen tlemen,' said ], the name If the man whose claims l arise to advocate is Mr. The rat was gone. looked for him-l moved box, turned over an old straw bed and throw an old hoop-skirt Into dark corner. The rat of recollection ran out. seized him desperately and cried The mans name is Mir. James K.-~' The ral bit me and escaped. chased hm about the room. He ran behInd an old trunk. scizei him. '.jamrs K. Butterscotch,' l cried. You know Mir Butterscotch, fellow citizens, have known him for several days, and are willing Some fellow, who 1 cannot believe WAS well disposed toward mo, struck inc with the ham bone of hog. Ofall things to be struck with
 l think that \ ham bone Is the worst. have been struck with those snor. nous cur5-bits with which cavalry rnen break their horses jaw1, and have, in my social rounds, been familiarity and urgently tapped with a No. i2 boot--my own, regret to say--but I have never found anything so thor oughly exhaustive in its research as ham bone; and sm satisfied that had Samson chosen this weapon iBsteai Of the jaw bone of congressman, the epidemic which, until we hear from Igmtius Donnelly, he bears the credit of organizing, would have been far more fatal. Why, down In Missouri, prominent citi1eB--je-s. James, i believe they called him--was permit ted by the authorities to carry re- yoivers and Winchester rifles, but when 1t was whispered around that he intended to arm himself with . ham bone, the governor hired a fellow to kill him. Well, when that West TenBesseean struck me with ham bone 1 retired for, though not sensi- tive, I conld not believe that he was in sympathy with me. Gentlemen, . few moments ago observed sort Of movement which l have learned to rcspcct--a movement which causes me to fear that some of you are armed with A West Tennessee ayeu0er.1