Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-01-14
FUN.


WHEN dog is mad he eene,.,
travels at q very rabid rate.
LOOKING down on the vista Of ~.
to come-a dog gazing At strin.
sausages.
CARPETS ore lower than ever.s +.
IN advertiser. How can that he? MI
were ON the floor before.
The comedy of life begins in q
cradle, the drama at the altar, and =
tragedy ends at the grave.
The cunning thief will enter : staN.
purloin several sets Of harness, and a.
part without leaving . trace.
MEN generally commence to undrs,
by pulling off their boots, women tl,3
hair. Many will soy it's false.
LIZ the son could pick up the dropp.,
stitches from his sire's work, his O,
work would require but little unra,,,
ling.
WHEN friend points ont your fail
he arouses your anger. When an eueu
loes the same thing he gains your :,
spect.
The difference between poor angl.
and the fish he tries to catch is thI
The angler bats his hook and the 81
hooks his bait.
"1r's very funny thing" rem.rks
Bass, meditatively. II sat by the rive
all day with bated breath and nevs
caught thing.
Waiter, I don't thin
much of this chop! Waiter-Youh
the third gentleman as ave complaine|
about that chop. l shall have to gi,
it to one of our regular customer
CTakes it away.)
THE best way to clean o chrome
Ethel, is to lay it to soak in turpenti|
over night, and then hang it before a
open fire to dry Hang it close, Ethel
hang it close. Push one corner unde]
the CRATE couple of inches.
BERr1E-Mr. Schuyler, are you yer
strong man? Schuylcr-No, not !
very strong, BERTHE. Bertie-Whatd i
pa mean then when he told sister at til
breakfast table to-day that he saw yo
with heavy load on last night?-
Judge.
WAITER Gnsinuatingly, after bringal
customers change1Would you beIn@
it, I've had three tips to-day: GU
toner (pleasantly)-Indeed? Three
o lucky number. Odd numbers are a
ways lucky. Thank You for telling me
I'm not going to spoil your luck by max !
ing the number even. Good day.
Boston Courier.
AcToR-I have just been reading th(
last issue of your paper, and I toll god
candidly that regard you as one Of th]
greatest writer's of this or any othel
age. Editor-Hold up, now. If yo}
keep on talking that way I'll have \
say in common decency that you are
good actor, and my conscience will nd
permit me to do so.-Iezas Sittissgs
Why is it that so many men love 4
sit in front of livery stable on q SUM
mer evening? The odor isn't sayorvI
yet there you will see certain mel
planked in chairs, tipped back agains|
the wall, usually, night after night. 4
requires some dexteri'y to avoid runninl ;
over them in driving in or out. The
IRE somewhat elderly men for the mos
part, neatly dressed, and of very r.
spectacle appearance. Perhaps the
are opulent and retired ivery-stab(
keepers themselves, so irresistably al
tracted by the smell of the stable tbs )
they can't keep away.-Teras SiftingsI
| CHuRN1NG SONG.
10 and fro. to and fro, slowly swings tho cl,rn1
10 and fro, to and fro, crimson ROSES burn;
Drowsy scnrlet poppies sway,
Where the morning breezes play;
To and fro. to and fro waves the nodding fern;
| Der the clover, far away,
Laden bees and perfume stray,
Mingled with the catbirl's iny;
TO and fro, to and fro,
In the sunny glow.
Rocks a cradle to and iro {while the churn
swing;
In the maple, rocking slow, children Of king;
Monarchs of this castle fair,
Horseha;r bulded, hung in air;
Golden robins to and fro. fash on vivid wing:
From the nest tho young birds cal
Oak leaf shadows, soft and smaA
Like the moment's footsteps fell;
To and fro. to and fro,
. Swift they come aud go.
Lillian II. Thompson, in Good Housekeeping
QCITE PLAUSIBLE.
OCbS11rov, ~ A.