New Ulm weekly review., 1887-08-17
Evils Of Gift Giving.

EVILS OF GlIC dIVl1g.
Sham and show, preplexity, annoy
ance and extravagance have crept into
the custom Of gift giving. Though one
may make q gift out Of the depth Of
the heart and do it.so becomin glv and
unassumeingly, yet it seems as adoz-s
en- Influences were bearing on him to
force him into a greater expense than
he can afford, or to give where he is
reluctant to do so. OF where he must
make show Of the articles given.
Quiet, unostentatious, spontaneous
giving shines brightly, when we find
it amid the dreary heartlessness, the
gaudy show and the heartburnings
that often accompany the formal giving
that is a part Of social life.
|. The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all proplems, even outrank-
ing the common. .sWhat shall wearp"
then is, .'What present shall I send?''
It is not enough to go and participate
in the social duties and to be cordial III
we'll wishing and congratulation, for
none of this will pardon the neglect or
oversight Of the gift There will be the
question, where is Mrs. Jackon's
present?" and then the unpleasant
comment if she has made none. So
Mrs. jackson sets out to find some
compromise between pride and purse,
perhaps poverty, something that cost
no more than absolutely compulsory,
and yet looks as if it were worth 4
great deal more, something. that the
other guest will not look at slightingly,
if not speak of contemptuously, or at
least think of in the same spirit.
And the guests compare these prox-
les of themselves and put themselves
on exhibition, after fashion. about in
the same way that they would do if
they were to stand up before COM
mittee of critics and have the style and
elegance of their clothing passed upon.
The show is at last over, but the jeal-
ousies and heartburnings remain,
the fear that responsibility has
been endangered by the msigniicance
Of the gift, or the overtopping con-
sciousness of a few that they each
made the best, or one Of the best pres
ents Of the lot.
/ Afterwards, as is more or less the
custom in some parts of the country,
| the names of the donors and brief
description of their gifts appear in
some newspaper. there to undergo
further comparison and criticism and
all the train of accompaniments. Fin
ally, if the present was valuable enough,
it may find it's way to a shop where
duplicate presents are bought and sold,
SO little did the receiver care about the
personality of the giver, or of such
little use is it to the recipient among
several other presents of the same
kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, if
they fall short Of that. Gifts are by
no means always the token of friend-
ship, and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made to accom-
pany them, they are demoralizing; they
are unpleasant features of what tako
the form of duties, and they are dark
spots in social life.
Something is wrong when a present
is made q test of social standing, or
when it is made the prerequisite for
performing a social act. There is an
.l,opportunity for reform when what is
\ apparently q friendly deed is confessed
lily empty of honest intent, when it is
burdensome, annoying, compulsory,
i false-hearted, or made for show, or
evidence of wealth, or merely for social
\ conformity.
4 The only excuse that one can make
for these abuses of gift making is that
iNnI ~ oG
feot of putting people into the habit Of
making presents at a time when their
friendly feelings have not become
strong enough to prompt the act un-
aided. With the growth Of the feel
ings, the custom gradually gets bet
ter and surer foundation, and stands
more lplainly in harmony with civiliza-
ton. A gift should be an embodiment
of sentiment, from which cost should
be totally divorced as an element OF
weight, and with which no social COM
lpulsion should be linked, except the
,compulsion of a spontaneous expires
sion Of feeling. Tie world is not good
enough for this yet, but some attempt,
if only a feeble one, if general enough,
would be a green oasis in the social
desert. Good Housekeeping.
Where She Checkmated Him.
Husband and wife had had a little
tiff. He hurried his nose in the morning
paper while she gazed out the car win.
dow with persistent intentness. Thus an
hour and thirty miles passed. A lady
entered the car. Husband dropped the
/ paper and looked at her .admiringly.
! 'tAh," said he, that's fine woman.