The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-03
BRIGHT BITS.

The best thing on record is the deed of a
corner lot.-Peck.
SELF POSSESSION in a young woman is well
enough for awhile, but she shouldn't keep it up
too long. Puck.
THERE is no change in the style of fishing
tackle this year, except that the jug has more
body and not quite so much neck.-MdnStield
Herald.
THE only way to make woman angelic is to
treat her as if She were an angel The best ad-
vice to be given to husbands is to be good and
you will be happy. To wives, be happy and you
will be good-1oronto Globe.
A PHILADELPHIA HOTEL CLERK is trying to pur-
chase the famous Oroff diamond, which weighs
103 carats The value of it is $4,000 and he
doesn't want to give but $780, 800, but some
agreement will probably be reached before the
summer season opens.-Detroit Free Press
81 HAVE a bit of good news for you, John, -
said fond young wife
Yes" remarked John, eXpectantly.
eyes. You remember that two weeks ago hot
house grapes were quoted at S. a pound? Well,
bought some to-day for SG."--Neto York Sun.
miss NoRTHcoTE-BRIGGs is a charming girl"
observed Cholmondey Jones enthusiastically:
''such lovely hair and eyes and such splendid
figure?"
Yes" replied Plantagenet Simpson, "I've
heard it is 200 in her own right. Wheeling
InteIhgencer.
81 HEAR Miss Brown wants the post office, "
remarked Tompkins.
Indeed, 4" said Brown.
''Of course the salary isn't large, but it will
help her some, l suppose"
YES" said MIR. Brown, "and there are postal
cards, too. '-Pittsb1g Dispatch
HERE you are, gents, vociferated a small
boy on the grand stand at the polo grounds,
Lives of the New York Base Ball Players,
only 10c.'
Ball PlayersY" asked a gentleman who was evil
IDENTITY willing to pay any price for it-NeV
York sun
A LITTLE BOY was reading in the Bible about
a woman who married seven brothers.
"Oh, mammal he exclaimed, did she marry
them all at once?'
mo, darling'' replied his mother; ''she mar
ried one, and when he died she married another.
What would You think, Bobby, if | should marry
seven brothers.!
Its hard to tell mamma. 1t might be be-
cause you owed EN- grldge, and then it might
be because you were fond of attending funerals;
but guess it IS just because you have a banker
ing that way 'ENermo1s Independent.
FATHER" said Rollo, what kind of paper
| is money printed ony'
lily paper my SON. replied Rollo's father
''hy paper" And RollQ's Uncle George went on
| to explain that this was the reason why you had
! to raise the wind before you could get any, add
ing in an undertone to Rolos father, Weren't
| Il was and did, /" replied Rollos father
what did you do with it," asked Rollo's
| Uncle George, hopefully.
| II blew it in, - replied Rollo's father
IAN of it, asked Rollos Uncle George, anx-
iously.
Every dollar" replied Rollo's father; and
| ROllos Uncle George said he heard down town
| that he was off on little breeze with the boys
| Burdette
| 81 WANT to complain of dot bolicemans on
| Gratiot avenue" said storekeeper from the
| upper end of that street to Capt Mack yester
| day.
! what has the officer been doing?"
| 'Vhell, eafery night When ! vhas in bedt he
| comes along und tries to open der door,
| Oh, that's it! Well his orders are to try al
| the doors and see that they are securely
| fastend."
| ''vhas dot so? Und he doan' want to get in?'
| mo"
'Und he doan' want to rob my grocery unt
| like enough kill us all?
| ''Of course not"
| "Vhell, dot makes me feel petter-mooch pet
| ter, und doan sit oop all night any more init q
| shotgun to each him. Detroit Free Press.