The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1887-06-17
WITTY SIDNEY SMITH.
Famous Sayings Of tie Cslebsated Canon
That are worth Recalling.

Famous Sayings Of The Celebeated Canon
That are worth Recalling.
As Sidney Smith was writing ono
morning in his favorite bay window,
pompous little man in rusty black was
ushered in. '.May l ask what procures
me the honor of this visitp'' asked Sid
ney. "Oh." said the little man. II am
compromising history Of the distin-
guished families in SOmersetshire. and
have called to obtain the Smith arms.
II regret, SIR" said the wit, mot to be
able to contribute to 80 valuable work.
but the fact is the Smiths never had
any arms. and have invariably sealed
their letters with their thumbs.''
1T requires" said Sidney Smith, -
surgical operation to get a joke well
into a Scotch under standing. Their
only idea Of wit, or rather that inferior
variety of the electric talent which pre-
walls occasionally in the North. and
which. under the name Of wit, is SO in
finitely distressing to people of good
taste. is laughing immoderately at
stated intervals. They are so imbued
with metaphysics that they even make
love metaphysically. l overheard q
young lady of my acquaintance. ut a
dance in Edinburgh, exclaim in sud-
den pause of the music: What you say.
my lord, is very true of love in the alb
stract. but Here the fiddlers be-
gan fiddling furiously, and the rest was
lost"
Sydney Smith, calling one day upon
fellOw-contributor to the Edinburgh
Reriew, found him reading book pre-
paratory to writing an account of it.
and expostulated with him. II never"
said the wit, "read book before re-
viewing it; it prejudices one so.'
Of some one: HE has no command
over his understanding; it is always
getting between his legs and tripping
him up"
Of marriage: ut resembles pair
of shears-so join ed that they can not
be separated; often moving in opposite
directions. yet always Furnishing any
one who comes between them"
A beautiful young girl walking in
Sydney Smiths garden exclaimed. on
noticing a plant viii CHI was in some
way injured, "Oh. Mr.. Smith. this pea
will never come to perfectiOn!" "Per-
NIT me them said the host, taking her
hand. "to lead perfection to the pea"
1.-The Court of Chancery is like boa
constructor. which swallows up the es-
tates of English gentlemen in haste and
digests them at leisure"
or Mr.. and Mrs. Grote: 81 like them,
I like them; 1 like him, he is SO lady
like, and like her, she's such q per-
feet gentleman"
On the departure of Bishop Selwyn
for his diocese in New Zealand: Good
bye, my dear Selwyn. I hope You will
not disagree with the man who eats
you"
Sydney Smith being i'll. his physician
advised him to stake exercise on an
empty stomach" Upon whose empty
stomachr' said he.
1.-The French certainly understand
the art of furnishing better than we
do; the profusion Of glass in their
rooms gives such gaiety. l remember
entering a room with glass all around
it ut the French embassy. and saw my
self reflected on every side. l took it
for a meeting Of the clergy and was
delighted, Of course"
Sydney Smith described the future
condition Of Croker as "disputing
with the recording angel about the
dates of his SINS"
To Mrs. Grote, as she was getting
into her carriage for n long journey:
"Go where you will. do what You may
like. say what you please. l have the
utmost confidence in your discretion"
ST. Louis Post Dispatch.