Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-07-26
A MATRIMONIAL "AD.'
A MAN OF "GENTEEL APPEARANCE
SEEKS ALADY CORRESPONDENT.

A MAN OF "GENTEEL APPEARANCE
SEEKS A LADY CORRESPONDENT.
How the Bitter Was Bitten by Coupls
of Mischief Loving Fair Ones - 4
Double Revenge Planned-The Closing
Scene.
En- and / have been having a SPLENDID
time at the expense of the matrimonial adver-
| Using citizen. For several days we saw an
ad in the papers asking some lady OF means
TO correspond with a gentleman Of fine educa-
ton high moral character and genteel ap-
pearance. Ii was easy to see the person was
impecunious, ugly and in earnest So to this
man We wrote. We told MIN lovely ghost
story OF an early marriage to q grocer of
means, OF an unfortunate illness and widow
hood. We said that, left with large fort
une, we were being domineered over by the
deceased grocerS mother, who was seeking to
invest large sum we had in bank at present
in property out of town, and then getting
possession of the widow and money. The
mother -in-law had intentions of an almost
murderous character We were mot seeking
altogether to make second marriage, but 10
find some strong masculine spirit to counsel
and advise US in our great strait"
1t was lovely how Veritas ''bit at that
baitn We got letter Immediately, telling
"Cornelian that was the name we signed to
be firm; not to yield an inch; to buy no prop
erty until she had seen him, Veritas, who was
prepared to be drawn and CHARTERED in de-
tense of friendless widows with stamps. The
whole letter breathed desire TO get hold Of
iust such blessed fool as we had made Cor
nelia out TO be.
Then we thought we would have a look at
him, so we named the street in which EN-
lives, and o'clock in the afternoon.
There is church directly opposite Ems
parlor windows We mentioned the vicinity
of the church as the most secluded. He was
to know the widow by handkerchief carried
in her parasol hand, and she was to know him
by newspaper in one hand and a few flowers
IN the other.
HE HOVE II SIGHT.
At 3 O'Clock promptly we nearly fell
out of the window as he hove in sight-such
cadaverous, unhealthy looking spectacle,
his seedy suit brushed and buttoned up, his
canky hair oiled till it split and showed his
scalp behind under the brin of shocking
bad hat. That hat alone settled his status
it was the style of 1879. The weed was rusty
and the beaver had been touched up with
wet sponge. There were knees i'll his winter
trousers and fringe on their bottoms. The
heels of his shoes were worn off one side till
he walked on the bias, and altogether he was
as fine specimen of decay as you could run
on In week
In his hand, which was covered with
black worsted glove, he bore a newspaper
rolled up like the truncheon of Hamlet's
ghost, and in the end OF it he had stuck
bunch of lilacs.
As luck would have it, lady in mourning
came down the street. Feritas was on the
alert She had no handkerchief in her hand,
but he pranced up beside her and looked out
of his watery eyes at her knowingly. He met
no encouragement, but he couldn't give it up.
He passed her twice, swinging his flower
tipped paper truncheon: then he got in front,
setting it UP against his coat tails and wag-
ging it as If he was old dog Tray and pleased
TO meet her Half dozen women he pur-
sued in like manner, till finally, about 4,
he gave it up as a bad JOB, and we lost him.
Then we sat down and wrote this
yesterday by no strategy could get out
that horrible old woman put her bonnet on
and vowed l should not stir step without
her | was in despair. had no one to send.
and then you were disappointed. But, dear
friend, don't desert me; be at that same place
tomorrow, and If at ten minutes past 3
o'clock | am not here, come right around to
the next street where l live, though didn't
mention it before. Go up the steps Of No. 26,
ring the bell, inquire for Mrs. Jones, you viii
be shown into the parlor, and viii come to
you. Just speak of having come from Mid,
dletown lately Talk about Julia and the
boys Speak up loud and say the new barn
is nearly done Talk about anything till
tell you it IS safe, because that old dragon
will surely be listening"
sPooKIER THAN EVER.
This was splendid Around in the next
street at 90 lives a woman named Jones, En-
just detests. Only think what situation
this brought about
At 8. punctually, there was our awful
@Veritas," spookier than ever. The wretch
waited and looked at Waterbury watch
several times OF course there was no Cor
nelia, so he braced himself and headed for 20,
the next street. We had our hats on, and
we few out and after him. Up the steps
bold as brass he went. He pulled the bell and
was admitted We watched and waited GER
tainly fifteen minutes. Then the door banged
open. The serv ant came out and looked up
and down the street. "She is after the
police said En-. Then out bounced Veritas,
his hat in his hand. He was bald as pound
of butter. that is, he had just few hairs. He
was gesticulating wildly, and his poor old
face was red as spanking, behind doomed up
Ems bette noir. Mrs. Jones, looking Ike tur-
key who sees a red hat
We sent Ems hired girl over to interview
the Jones girl, and we heard all about it
how he got into the parlor, and, when Mrs.
Jones came in, talked like crazy man about
barns, and Julias, and COWS, and kept looking
at the folding glass doors, and kept whisper
ing rs it safel Can I expose my identity
novf-
And Mrs. Jones at last shrieked for the
girl. and they put the crazy creature out.
On, En- and have had a lovely time We
are going TO write him tonight, and VOW
that Mrs Jones was the 1nother-in-law, and
she has Cornelia locked up, and beg him to
invoke the law, and save the money in the
bank and d sweet, young, Old grocer's widow
Clara Belle in Cincinnati Enquirer
Tie American has hitherto inhabited
wooden dry goods box, set on end, COW
cred with a pitched Roof, designed to shed
the SNOW. wherein he grills in summer
and shivers in winter.-San Francisco tx
aminer.
Putting auax Winter ,~Tornio~