The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-10
BRIGHT BITS.

THE only time when a woman doesn't object
to having it said that she got her foot into it is
when she is trying on u No. 21s slpper.-Bur-
tnLgtOH Free Press.
A PHILADELPHIA PUBLISHER says the revised
Bible has "fallen fiat" This IL lucky for the
Bible. book that falls fiat is less liable to
sustain injury than when it falls ON the edges or
on one corner.-NOrristOUB Herald.
On, for thousand pounds of snow,
In which TO make bed,
While others swelter in the glow
OF sulnbeams fiery red.
--Wasbington Ratchet
How does it happen that there are so many
old maids among the school teachers?" asks an
inquirer Well. it is just possible that a girl
who has taught school is afraid to marry.
She knows just what sort of cubs most men
were when they were young.-OmGhd Daily
World.
Miss CoLDcAsH-Do you know, Mr. Guffau,
that pa remarked brutally the other day that
he was only going to dress me one more sea
son.
Young Guffau-Deah me. Miss Coldcash! how
should like to-aw-see you two yeahs fwom
now.-TODn Topics.
A MIDDIE-AGED MAN at the beach, whose wife
thought the water too cold for bathing that day,
encouraged her in n novel way. mo, Mariar"
he said, pointing to some iron water pipes that
entered the waves near where he stood; don't
you see? They're rinnin' hot water into the
ocean an heatin' her up. Boston Globe.
Now it is the candy sweet
Gets showed on to q back seat
And lies sad and forgotten in its case.
For the soda fountain biz,
With its cool, refreshing fizz,
Rakes in all the dimes and nicSles in the place.
-DGnSUtUe Breeze
A DIsINGENUoUs HAcK.-Mrs Cashtied dis
sembling, having engaged o conveyance by the
hOHr)-You must come over and take drive
with me, my dear Mrs. Censor. Our new car
rage is awful roOmy.
I've Irla ,{n Of fk,n
not to be bambooZledl-Yes. noticed that it's
built for q number.-Tid- Bits.
81 give thee awl, can no more"
The shoemaker said he;
"Thc bench and tools are all my store
You may as well take me.
My sole is in my business,
Shall stick unto the last
And when peg my latest sigh
Shall be hand-Sewed and fast"
-NeiC York Morning Journal
ROMANCE AND REAIITY.--Eastern Man-So you
are one of those writers who demoralize the
youth of the country with dime novels, eh?
Western Authorize moralize the youth?
yes sir. Thousands of Eastern boys have
been so carried away with those tales that they
have run off from home, gone to the West to
fight Indians, and-dear only knows what has
become of them
'My dear sir they have done no harm You
will find most of them earning an honest liv-
ing as walters in haSh-houses. Omaha World.
A CoMICAL INCIDENT was observed at Congress
Spring Park night or two ago. There was a
very large attendance and the concert was par
tcuariy fine. For wonder a couple of vigorous
dogs had eluded the watchfulnesS of the gate
keepers and were enjoying the freedom of the
parade ground. They were not long in finding
each other out and were on the best of terms
1t may have been that GGrtland's music ''sooth
ed their savage breasts into unwonted quiet.
AS soon as it ceased, however, and vigorous
clapping of hands began by way of applause,
the two animals flew at each other with great
a n tbaNr had
been enemies from puppyhood The dogs had
mistaken the applause as a sick en- from
respective champions, and they fought it out on
that basis.-SdrdtO9i0n.