The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-06-18
euRoETTe.
Pointed Paragraphs ON Current Topics
Of Interest.

VI InteTest
A piece OF Queen Victoria's wedding cake
is now on exhibition In London. II was used
for clock weight for great many years,
but as 1t has dried out and grown lighter with
age. it is now only fit for brick to hold the
| door open.
During Queen Vctorias regii-may her
shadow never grow less; IT can't grow very
much greater-there has been added TO her
realm Z, 2GO, 900 square miles of territory, and
the population she controls has been about
trebled This is why our big hearted mother
shudders with horror every time she sees any
other nation casting greedy eyes upon an
island in the Arctic ocean, forty miles square.
II Victoria-God save the queen-reigns an
other fifty years, God save the rest Of US.
She would by that time own so mnch Of this
earth that the British possessions would stick
out beyond the edges half way 20 the moon,
aud all the II factories in the universe would
be running on double time
De Iessers, the well known hedger and
ditcher. is an abused man. The last time he
went away from the Panama isthmus, some
body pulled the plug out Of the canal and let
all the water out 1t was doubtless the work
Of some fun loving American, but all the
same such jokes are in very bad taste; we
never tasted one OF them, but have been told
they are brackish
We live I'm a land Of statesmen. Every
four years aud at times between whites there
is the smell Of the pOstoflice in the air and
the low. sweet sound of the consulate Is heard
in the distance We see the shadOwy forms
Of United States marshals yet 10 be, and out OF
the dreamy gates Of the impossible drifts the
sad procession Of never 10 be supreme judges.
| Ours is a dear and favored land for the fell
lows who do not get left
We love our country, the most Of us We
| fight for her and work and sweat and struggle
and swear and lie for the blessed privilege Of
administering her finances; some Of Us, oh,
! America. Amercal What would be a country
without Offices Il would be like a bed room
without bed; a cat without voice; a cigar
without a match, or Coney Island without
! beer
No, indeed, my son, We don't have the
preaching we used 20 have when your grand
| father was boy: indeed, we don't Who
has been telling you about it, On, your
| grandfather; well, whatever your grand
| father tells YOU is true. And they didn't
/ have the preaching when he was "A boy they
used 10 have when his grandfather was a boy,
! too Time was when the good Old preacher
! climbed up two flights OF stairs into a pulpit
nineteen feet high, read the whole book Of
| ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS cbapters-for the morn
ing lesson, sang the one hundred and nine
teeuth psalm clear through, aud then
preached and expOunded the doctrines and
] al. d. 4 q a.
DOT % the cushion until O'Clock IN the after
noon when he stopped to catch his breath,
and began again at sunset and preached until
some time Monday morning. No, indeed,
my 10y, we don't begin to have the preach
ing they used to have
When the census marshal reached the farm
house of Macameron Dorchester, in Conestoga
county, Pa, the wary farmer met him at the
door with a shotgun, and when the marshal
asked his mime one Of the boys went out 10
the barn and united three dogs They chased
the marshal clear across the township, when
some neighbOrs headed him of, and then they
put him I'm Jail TO hold him for trial you
see" said Farmer Dorchester we're onto
those sharpers; they think we're fools be
cause we live in the country, but we're too
smart lIl lilt-rt lDn 0N iilltl0 lUu STU III
1879 there come along fellow who played
the reapng machine commission game on me
md beat me out Of $500; that made mo mad
Then along in 1881 fellow from Philadel-
phia came ont here and played the cloth game
| on me. and that cost me $3.50 Then the
| Three Horse Clevis man came next year and
be beat me out Of $50 easy enough. Then
the everlasting metallic paint man, he played
me for $40, and then last year the sunrise
wheat fellow got into all Of US for about $50
apiece. and this year the Bohemian oats
crowd got about all the ready money there
was i'm the county and took notes for the rest
Of il. and now this fellow he comes along and
wants % know what my name Is, but ] am
too sharp for him. Oh, tell YOU the Con-
estoga county boys are onto EN-; we're too
smart for these fellows 10 will be apt 10 20
hard with the census marshal, although his
trial will not come off for some time, as a
man has Just come into the county selling
state rights for the Potassium fertilizer, a
machine that grinds up the hardest stones
into the richest and cheapest fertilizer ever
put on the ground, and all the farmers are
too busly engaged in securing agencies for
the machine % attend 10 court business.
Let other men wrange and strive,
And struggle. and scheme and c0nrive,
For me It's dscrecter, and meeter, and sweeter to
sit ON the fence boy myself,
know that the scorn Of the world
Atiny meaningless mean will be hurled,
But have no measure, OF leisure, or pleasure, to
struggle for power or pelf
There are fellows whose greatest delight
Is o. hunt for the midst Of the fight,
And jostie and shoulder the older and holder, and
knock out the timid and slim;
Soft II. Of a peace loving mind.
To roost Oh the fence am inclined,
Small odds Il they hiss me, or kiss me, or miss me,
For keeping up out Of the swim.
If ever 20 10 the war,
Ill go iu the medical corps,
! And then while they're fighting, and biting, and
shifting. and shedding bad language and
gore,
III turn from the strife abhOr,
Both sides Of the field I'll explore,
| Where .he wounded are creeping and sleeping,
aud weeping,
Sweet balm IN their hurts will pour.
And will be mighty liable 10 get my head