San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1887-12-27

How proudly does he walk the streets
And give to every one he meets
supercilious stare;
No Sultan Shah or grand MikadO
Could put on style with more brayadO,
Or take loftier air.
Ill tell you why he looks so utter
He was judge of cheese and butter
At our late county fair.
Texas Siftngs.
A homely rich girl is prettier than q
beautiful poor girl.-Epoch.
The gatekeeper at the railway cross
ing should be man Of signal abilities.
Boston Courier.
They tell Of q young Lincoln man that
he Is so able q contortionist that he oan
see without difficulty the bald spot on
the back OF his head.-Lincoln (Neb.)
Journal.
1t takes two months to prepare for
Christmas and three to recover from It.:
but we must remember that there are
seven months In the year which are
arranged for solid comfort.-Judge.
A Kentucky sheriff, who had been a
dancing master, SO far forgot himself,
that when two men who had been con-
cerned together In murder were on the
gallows, he called out, as he cut the
rope, "Swing partners" -Tid-Bits.
First oDgressman-"Has Sanderson,
the newly elected member from the
west, had much experience In delibera-
tive assemblies?" Second Congressman
81 imagine so. believe he has served
two terms as oroner."-Judge.
Henry is down from New York visit
ing this uncle during vacstion.) why,
Henry, how do you make out that the
sun is 92,000.043 miles away" "Well
you see Uncle Thamas, tia $4,000 900
miles from New York, and 43 miles
down here makes $4,000, 043 miles from
here to the sun."-Hsrper's Young
People.
Mamma" said Flossie, when was
baby, did l come from heaven?". "Yes,
dear" And will 60 to heaven when
] die?" "Yes | hope So" "WelI," said
Flossie, admiring herself in the mirror,
81 guess they won't know me when [
get back.-N. Y. Sun.
"What are you going to buy your wife
for Christmas PRESENT." ii am think.
Ing Of getting her plano" "Can she
ayr' "Of course not. Do you sup
pose I'd be such fool as to buy her
piano If she could play? 1 am going to
get her piano because 1t makes the
psrlor look 80 stylish.-Exchange.
Teacher Ito little colored girl)-''Now,
Angeline, can you tell me what it means
t. return good for evilP" Angelina
"Well, miss. 1 doan' 'xactly know de
words, but think 1t mean ef any one
sasses yer, doan' yer jaw back. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
An old negro was challenged at the
polls the other day and his excuse for
not paying his taxes was that he had
been here ever since Lafayette visited
Milledgeville and remembered when the
stars fell. He was allowed to VOTE
Milledgeville (G.) Chronicle.
A self-possessed young married lady
was acoosted In a Philadelphia street
Friday ev, ming by a fiashily dressed
man. "Are you not afraid to be out
alone at night?" he said, raising his hat,
adjusting his eyeglasses and edgipg up
to her. "Oh, no." was the quick re-
Spouse, "but II you are will call DO.
Iiceman to escort you home" He did
not wait for her to take so much trouble
on his account.
Paw Paw, Mich, has a genius who has
got an invention that he calls an anti
railroad collisloner. This Invention
consists Of train of cars with a railroad
track attached, passing over II and down
at either end near enough to connect
with the main track, so that on meeting
train 1t passes directly over In perfect
safety; or, II one comes up In the rear, 1t
passes over the same way.