Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-15


 lar Women's Novelist, on the sub-
 ject.
 lFron the Baltimore Herald.l
 When shall our boys and girls marry? is subject which has been so often discussed, and concerning which so much has been written with no very satisfactory result, that it would almost seem as if the only rational answer to the vexed question is that given by some author whose name do not now re- call. ''Show me the girl," was her brief comment, and in 8 way that covers the whole ground. Show me the girl and the boy; let me know something of their tastes, their dispositions, their habits, their ideas of life and the manner in which they have been reared, for these are of far more importance than the respective ages of the parties.
 A girl who is thoroughly selfish, who has never learned that in seeking anothers hap piness she is finding her own, who looks upon her mother 8 household drudge of whom she is ashamed, who dawdles through the morning in a Mother Hubbard and crimping pins and runs to hide if there is a ring at the door, who spends the afternoon in gossip and the evening in flirting, is not fit to be wife, whether she be sixteen or thirty. On the whole the chances are that the girl of sixteen will make the better wife of the two, for as the twig is more easily bent than the shrub, so the habits of sixteen are more easily changed than those of longer growth.
 But the pure young girl who looks upon the marriage state as something sacred and not to be entered into lightly or unadvised- ly, and to the pure young man who respects all womankind and who means what he says when he promises to love and comfort and honor his bride so long as they both shall live, say most emphatically marry young, before the formation of habits and tastes and opinions which you will find difficult to change, and which must be changed if the matrimonial wheels run smoothly. Marry and in one sense grow up together, laying aside self, and as far as possible conforming each to the wishes of the other, remembering always that he or she who gives up the most gains the greater victory.
 And just here let me repeat an anecdote of a wife of a few months, who, in the midst of her first quarrel, was asked by her husband which ought to give up first, the man who was the head of the woman, or the woman who was created for the mani With smile and a kiss the wife replied: "Neither the stronger nor the weaker, but the one who loves the most"
 Brave words these and true, and recalled with bitter tears by the husband who within less than a year stood by the grave of the young girl-wife who had loved the most.
 It is, think, an erroneous idea that early marriages are a hindrance rather than help to the success in life and the mental develop ment and happiness of the parties. That this is sometimes the case is true, but I be- 1ieve that more young men and girls too have been saved from ruin and wickedness by an early marriage than have been ruined by it. There is something inspiring and enRobling in the possession of home and family to work for and beautify, and if the girl and boy are poor should still say marry young and work together for the home and the competence, which will be all the more en- joyable because they are the result of toll