The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1887-12-08
cakes is better than a liver pad these frosty

cakes Is better Than liver pad these frosty
mornings"
The waves of old ocean are by no means
ready to sleep when they put their white
caps on.
A society girl says that autumn leaves
may be very beautiful, but they are not
nearly so nice as 10 o'clock leaves.
The chap who finds carpet nail In his
uncookcd oysters is among those who wish
the tax taken off raw material.
docs your husband swear as much as
ever?" "Swearl Why l can't keep par
rot two weeks in the house"
The older man gets the more difficult
| it is to pull the wool over his eyes. He has
a good deal less wool you know.
IT Is suggested as shrewd guess that the
first mention Of playing cards is In the
Bible. 1t was when Neb euchercd Nezzar
Paris is to have n thrcc-story crematory.
1t is supposed the upper classes will insist
upon being cremated in the upper story.
In the bright lexicon of the base ball
player home run in time save the nine.
Jay Gould has landed in England, but
| Queen Victoria still retains a controlling
interest in the throne.
st. John remarks that the Prohibtionists
will go into the next Presidential campaign
| Win ardent spirits.
Mistress 0o applicanO-And what Is
your name? Applicant-Nary Browne,
mum; we spell it wild the "e".
When you read that a millionaire works
| harder than any Of his clerks please to re.
member that he also gets more pay.
An anti-fat restaurant has been opened in
London. Anti.fat boarding houses have
long been known In this country.
Princess Beatrice has daughter. The
list OF dependents upon the British tax
payers grows large by degrees and beauti-
fully more.
Considering the price of fashionable bon,
| nets, we begin to think the word "miliOn.
aire, Is but corruption of millner.
"lt'SNn i'll wind that blows nobody good, ,
said the Thanksgiving turkey, as a cyclone
Whlrled him from under the farmers up
Hitrd Ratchet into the next county.
The agricultural fair of the present opens
with speech by a lawyer and closes with
horse race. Agriculture takes back
seat.
II see the dude has got into the latest
cdltlon OF Wcbstcrs Dictionary" "Has
he? Well, hurry, then, and slam the cover
down."
Theatrical Mnnagcr-Thcre are breakers
ahead. Jones-Why so2 Because sec
SO many light houses"
wv hat was Ncro's greatest act of cruel
ty?' asked the teacher Of the class in histo-
ry. "Fiayin, the fiddle" was the prompt
response; and the teacher let it go at that
Sandy accepted the guide wffe's invita-,
| tInn with the reservation, IF | am spared -
rWc' ,,,WIc wcci, said the lady, IF yc'rc dead
III not expect yc."
10
have to pay fifty dollars to enter Canada
when American hcathcn are skipping In
| every day or two free gratis.
In Costa Rica there Is not single mil
| Ilncry store. Married men who want
! tickets to Costa Rica should step up to the
oI'icc before the rush begins.
Yes, waiter, I am n mapnetist. would
| you like to see me tip the table? Waiter
| No, sab; but if it's all de same to you, sab,
| yer might tip dc waiter, sab.
The Indians have taken to smoking cigar
cites. Now let them stand around sucking
nc heads OF their canes and the problem Of
their civilization is solved.
It is said that n small hand indicates re-
tncmCnt, and Yet we have seen small hands
ana hc.t them too, b thunder. that brought
out language anything but refined.
Wh,n COiilnS can be bought in New York
tof lOrty cents apiece il IS hard to excuse
Johann Most for his criminal negligence in
continuing to live.
IIc-What will you have, dear, candy or
ice cream? Shc-NO Edward; get some
popcorn, please. Hc-Do you like that
stun? Shc-GcS; | like everything that
pops.
''Th" climate Of New Jersey is salubrious
is ii not:' he asked. ''Salubrious" re-,
pcatcd the enthusiastic citizen of that State
wv hy, stranger, we have mosquitoes in
january"
y London paper speaks Of "hcalth re-
sorts for horse" localities where mem
hGrs of the first equine families arc sent for
change Of air" Would it be proper to call
such resorts hospitals?
An article in an exchange headed "What
the Typewriter Is Doing" doesn't state the
fact that it is exposing the poor spelling of
many operators, as well as their ignorance
OF punctuation and the use Of capital letters.
Il am free TO confess that want the
earth, said one man to another. well,
sec only one hope for YOU" "What is
lhat?' Get Jay Gould to make his will
i'll your favor"
Wife 60 third husband)-If you feel so
unWcsl, John, ! think we had better send
i'l NY olu lanllY physician. Third HuS-
band (8omcwhat hastily)-No, my dear,
would prefer to send for some one else.
Trust Company Agent-Thinking that
you might want to secure your personal
property, | desire to recommcnd-- Mr..
Duscnbcrry-Gou are little too late; the
Sheriff has just secured It,
Clcrk-What can VIC do for you sir?
CuStomcr-l wish to purchase an overcoat.
Cierk-Ah, yes! Something in a chinchilla,
sir? Customcr-No. Something in chin
warmer if you please
The average girl is now engaged in the
manuiacture Of slipper patterns and whisk-
broom holders, which she will exchange
December 25 for tortose-shell fans, dia-
mond earrings and the like. The average
girl has good head for business, after ali.
"DOn't marry woman who knows more
That you, says an exchange. But some
men we have met would have dusty old
hunt II thcy undertook the contract of dis
covering woman who knows less than
they know.
Gosh, Mariar exclaimed an old farmer,
visiting New York with his spouse, "here's
a place where they pull teeth for twenty
pi % in h,t,