Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1887-09-21
A MIDDLE AGED CHERUB.

FL t3P Et- &Tf sEEIN
A MIDDLE AGED CHERUB.
Ef"gTss, ~ -- - SRA ~ Ess,
lam at, my wits, end. AS write, my
case OF razors Is open before me; the bright
blades, undimmed, alas! and undulled by
use, virgin as they came from the cutters
forge, lie ready 10 my hand; but my hand
shrinks from the last the desperate
stroke. As q, health, money, . wife,
children tthough against them well may
bear o srudgel, svcn, MAY say, honor
and an anblsmished rspatation, are not
things % be abandoned without q strug-
gle. Yet life and al the rest are embit-
tered 10 me by one misfortune, which no
efforts have enabled me to overcome, no
stoicism has availed to disregard; and, had
the courage, priest as / am, would
strike the blow, and suicide should drop
the merciful curtain upon the pitiful farce
OF my existence. Let me see If penning
the tale Of my woes will nerve my hand
to end them
j Yet the tale win but move the world to
laughter. Ny wife has long pooh poohed
me and urged me mot to think of it," as
we'll urge the eel not to thipk1of skinpinS,s
or the fugitive cur to disregard the kettle
tied to his tail. But then she Is supported
by the courage and good deal Of the APP
pearance of grenadier. -.
Old friends speak sympathizingly and
soy, "Well, old fellow, wish I had half
your complaint. But some men never
are satisfied" All! I know their tones
Of regret and envy are mere mockery;
safe in the possession of gray hairs and
equity toes, they know they can trifle with
me as they please. .-
can scarcely bear to divulge my secret
TO those who do not know me and it, but
/ must. Ny curse is this. I, man of
Is, a husband, the father Of great lout
of lad and gavky girl, priest in
holy orders and bachelor Of divinity,
have the face, the figure, the voice, and
the carriage Of q cherry checked boy of
ID. All! you may laugh, but none can
know what endure till they have tried
It. Just consider. I look like q nice,
healthy, lower school boy. My cheeks are
pink and smooth; my hair is yellow and
rough and plenty of it; my waist is slim,
my back is fat; walk with springy
step; at times tnvoluntarily I run, and
believe still could beat any alto in my
old school choir. Il
1t was not till after I left Oxford that
became. conscious of my affection. At
college many of us do like boys, and act
Ike boys no. Ny pest-was naturally the
pleasantfone Of coz OF the college, eight, and
although raftmen and bargees' guffawed
privily when came down TO the boats,
my sAri1, imperative voice, stiu I was
pcsssd and popular, o. cox is BY virtue Of
his o6tss, and was happy. They carried
me Shoulder high rsaad the quad and
placed nae Ga tho table at sswiaes" to pipe
my treble songs, and, IL ] felt like tit
mouse beside the giants Of my crew, was
bat fulfilling my steersman's mission.
Those, indeed, were golden days. But
from the time announced determine
ton to take orders, trouble grew up
around me. Tutors said they doubted II
should have enough influence" clergy
men, to whom applied for title, seemed
skeptica1 of my Seriousness" and when
I called on the examining chaplain to the
bishop of my choice and explained the OBJ
feet of my visit, the good man looked puz-
zled, but smiled kindly and asked with q
surtout point de zele air If didn't think
had better not have troubled to come to
him till was within more measurable
distance Of the earliest age for ordination.
And at that moment was "a.
At that time, indeed, ] knew looked
boyish; but then I often felt boyish, and
not being o vain peacock, gave little
critical study to my appearance; vanity Is
not my besstting sin, and In those. days !
did nst stare sloomily in the glass for, the
purpose of detecting some hope, some
promise of age or, indeed, for any
other purpose. Though below the
middle height, am not dwarf, and
as yet the awful. conviction Of the truth
had not forced itself upon me. did not
know how childlike q front I. presented.
At last, however, obtained q curacy In q
parish, where we had fine old church, a
considerable choir, and several other
curates, and, finding my vicar kindly, and
his wife positively affectionate, settled
down to my work and looked forward to
a happy and beneficent life. Within q
week my hopes were crushed. There
befeu me calamity which has left me
ever since bhghted and dispirited being.
had but just been ordained, and was
very full of the solemnity and the dignity
of my new position. We had Just finished
q wedding In humble Life, and about halt
an hour was 60 elapse before mathis
had taken subordinate part in indis-
lsolubly yoking bashful country lass
| 70 very bemused looking gaby from the
piow tail, and was waiting In my
surplice for the service in which was, SO
| to speak, to make "frst appearance y
| The weather was hot, and laid aside my
stole and hood for while; for was as
proud and careful Of their untarnished
rustling glory as mother OF her first
born; and stood at the veEtry door chat
ting to my vicar and two OF my fellow
l. k9.a{,. Tool
| toilet within. On sudden heard q very
sweet girls voice saying, "Oh, | do wish
I could make out this window-there
should be some one to explain it, y and
| looking down the church saw one stout
elderly lady and two slim young ones ex.
arnining q window of Ananias and Sapphi-
| "a, / looked again at the girls, and oh,
| ioyi recognized two fair Americans who
| had appeared in Oxford during my last
term there and had been the objects of my
passionate and heart stricken devotion.
Never had forgotten them. Cajolery
and intrigue had once brought me into
| the same room with them, but before
| could find ON opportunity for an introduce
| ton they were gone, and saw them nc
moro. Now was my time. Straight
| trfpped down the steps Of the cflancel and
presented myself before them like a knight
errant, as thought, coming to deliver q
distressed maiden. 'rYou would like to
know what the subject Of the window iss''
asked blandly. ut is very old glass
and very quaint; allow me to explain it, y
and sailed f1uently on. "Dear mer'
cried the elder lady, presently, when I
came to pause, 'show Interestingly What
very happy idea to have the church
shown in this way, and what very nice
choristers there are here; so intelligent
and well behayedl'' ] thought this rather
irrelevant and was puzzled, but all
praise of the church just then was
honey to me, and said complacently,
Eyes, the choir is very good; we take great
I'pains, and great attention is paid to dis
cipline." Why. the young ladies should
have Uttered, or the old lady have looked