Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1887-04-01

clones, ranging over some thousands OF
gears.
I am struck with many features in
this relic of the dull, dead past that are
absent in the journals of to-day:
In salutatory the editor says:
In starting this paper, we feel a
great weight as it were, on our shout
ders, and shall conduct this business on
an honest and cash basis, which is the
best policy, as our wide experience with
the hay press in the past has proved.
Stories for the juvenile department
will not be permitted to run over ninety
years.
Contributors who send articles writ
ten on raw-hides should be carful and
write only on one side of the skin, and
never on the hairy side, as it will be
unhandy for the cempositors and look
dim under gas light.
We will not attempt to return re-
jected manuscript at our own expense,
and those wishing them returned in
case of rejection should enclose a yoke
of oxens and driver, otherwise they
will be destroyed. We will soon have
scheme perfected which will enable
us to utilize rejected manuscript. We
intend to start lanyard in connection
with this Office, and when an article is
rejected the manuscript will be turned
over 10 the leather department and
made into ':Pittsburg oak tanned" and
thrown on the western market.
In looking over the column headed
Personal" I find the following inter-
esting notices:
MIR. Sampson called at our office re-
Gently and left 4 fine assortment OF
Philistines' scalps He also left the
jaw bone of a mule which is in toleara-
BILE good repair, but wore little ON
the side next to the Philistines. Mr..
Sampson is man who will command
respect wherever he goes, and we
should be pleased to see him elected
sheriff of Ramath-leh county. Mr.
sampson also left little riddle for our
puzzle department., which we insert
with pleasure and will give ninety
years subscription to the Cyclone to
anyone sending correct solution.
Here is the riddle:
Six sot and seven sprung;
Ont Of the dead the lvjnp cnma
1t is fine specimen of enigmatic in
genuity and poetical beauty.
Prof Jonah called at our sanctum
and left timely and important paper
on Fish culture He also left some
fine samples of German carp.
Mr.. Jonah is thoroughly informed
on the fish questions, and would be a
worthy man to superintend the adjust
ment of the Canada fishery trou bles
with England and the United States
Mr.. Goliath of Gath, of the Cincin-
natl Enquirer, was in the city short
time ago and gave free xhibition in
the shape of broad sword exercise on
Wyandotte street,
He said if there was a galoot in the
township who thought he could stand
him one round, if he would waltz into
sight he would sign contract to feed
his flesh to the fowls of the field and
the beasts of the air, as the victim might
desire, inside of ten minutes by a Wa
terbury watch.
None of the spectators had ever been
fed to the beasts or the fowls, and he
got no takers.
We was busy at the time and did not
have time to 60 down and try him a
round, but shepherd from the coun-
try, named David. arrived in town
about that time, aud the pugilistic ma
bob from. Gath hurried over to the Ca.
madam side, where he was promptly
robbed by two hackmen, who were ly-
ing in wait for fresh victim.
The "Answer to Correspondents"
column also furnishes some interesting
facts, a.few of which I give below:
"Constant Reader asks: What is
the meaning of civil service reform?'
and where can get one?'
Answer-Thjs is species of political
fungus that is not usually found in
doubtful states. Mr.. Benton, of Mis-
souri,, has q fine specimen growing in
his front yard which you might prevail
on him to dispose Of for q reasonable
consideration.
"Methuselah' writes: Il have been
reader Of your valuable paper for six
hundred years. aud this is the first time
I have troubled you for advice. My
case is thus: About two hundred year 8
ago became acqua nted with tai.
'ented and beautiful young girl. and
since that time l have kept company
with her steadily and am very much in
love with her. and she with me; but
when l speak to her of marriage. she
says her father objects and she is not
willing to disregard bis wishes until
she, is ofage. Now be so kind as tc
give me your adv &c ON this matter and
not let little item of three hundred
years. back subscription stand between
me and my happiness. a
Answer-You had better let the lad,
have her own way, and not disobey h1
father Ynn ara hnth rn,,nor vnt an,