The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1887-08-25

registers and sufbIces 6f The yestry.l s
It was useless TO remain ii that parish. .
The conduct of the congregation next
Sunday, when I stepped forth to read the
lesson, proved that to demonstration. OF
course such story had spread like wild
fire. The church was crammed, and when
in reading about David, who was "ruddy
and withal Of O beautiful countenance, I
came to the words, Look not on his
countenance or on the height of his stat
.ure,n there arose. such q stifled laughter
as soundeds Ike the wind #anlong dry;
IeayesS IssstoppeG short consumed With
shame and morti ifcation, unable to see the
book for tears, and then, with an astute-
ness I did not know I possessed, judi
ciOuBly fatntedi away and, was borne out
IKE k child In the arms Of the basso
blacksmith.
It was skillful stroke and might have
retrieved me, but could not brook to re-
main there longer. BY the assistance of
the archdeacon and the consent Of the
bishop, who tried hqrd not to laugh while
he gave it, was transferred to another
county. But though no like blow fell on
me there, saw the attempt was useless.
Did I SO to school to catechise or exhort
the boys, my presence was signal for
disorder. AS q matter of course my au-
.thority Was disregasded. sGirlsgchatted
under myssnose4 boys extracteda from
dirty shresches pockets -rpegtppg and
tdR@ before my very eyes aud even
looked td HE for conragement, and If
the master was forced to come to the
rescue and cane q lad, the ingenious youth
would appeal to me, with an air that said
as plain as words, "Come, you know what
aIley-tors are9 Why don't you put stop
to this grown up tyranny? Have you no
fellow feelinga' At baptisms mothers re-
fused to let me officiate upon the bawling
infant, vowing .sthey weren' It agoin' to let
that theer careless boy play no tricks with
the blessed baby 2, ministrations pro-
Syoked hiaItEt .at funerals, and once an
,irataEirag1, with whom / was expostu-
.Iating OF the Wickedness of her ways,
:ssased me neck and crop, clerical hat and
all, ntesher soapsnds and swashtnb.
With EMi6ch pain I dropped my holy
calling Mapriagea and o literary life alb
.sorbed GONE years. Il stroVe-h heaven
knows Eow earneStl ITO correct. the vice
.of,my appearapce but the more I adj
.yancsd ltfe the more absurd smatters
,Rr6ws hi 6nal gltmpses hope only
proved delusive and plunged me back
;a9ain into e. darker despair. # I have,
tried one patent infallible whisker pro,
ducerfI have tried twenty. Ishaye been d
mine Of wealth to BARRIERS Fluids that
would make an elm plank shaggy simply
make my cheeks look chapped. Manya
time have j gonB TO rest daubed with
sDdoiionade e. only TO find in the morn
,in,gis that It had fled from my chin in
the night to seek q more hopeful
ground on the pillow Once o slight
doWny iGrescence made its appearance
.undermy Jaw, and for, days T was almost
ldelirious with Joy, and walked the streets
with nv chin in the air to show my
manly beard. Alasi like Jonah's gourd,
.it withered IN one, night, as it grew. Sud-
denly itdrOpped of and leftimy face hair
less asthe sole Of my foot. At:4OI still
aE6ksdaiEs IL, On ss;g.
Blu. though looked as If time had
;stH0dlstill with me, in fact.it has made
as good haste as with other folks. My
wife is half as tall again as I, and twice
as heavy. When I give her my arm she
puts her fingers into my armpit, and peo-
pie are ceasing to take her for my
mother and think lam her grandchild.
am .blest with a hopeful young family, q
sbSyHnd bony, awkward girl, who looks
already over the crown Of my head and
has to stoop down to Kiss me. The boy I
do think. an extraord rdinary creature. He
as not mppie than f8, but he looks as much
older fhan his saeea asd, soto speaks bSk
Younger than mine., He is tall and
sbuulE Ind has "a mighty mature and
-lumptsh; look The beard which fate
has denied me adorns him, and with
double portion, and, now that his voice
has broken and settled itself into o kind
Of hpaEsab bray boyish is the last word to
apply to him. 1,,,S, ma i -.
.,aI, took, k,him down; the other day to Harl-
borough school to enter him there. MY
railway - Journey GSwas neither more
'noolr:S 1855 q 81 nj :, misery to me than
susual. .sra1A An economic ically minded ticket
,iaspectoy Il remarked s .consider deratsly to
my son, std have passed him
with O half ticket, sirl, You needn't have
not whole, ei,nn. e iI went ito the refresh
ment room and asked for q four Of whisky.
Tie young lady behind the bar leant over
au6criedA s0h!yyou,h horrid little boYh I
lshast give you nothing but glass of
milk and q bun, not II you, was ever so.
To think Of, the likes of you wanting fours
of Scotch, indeed!'' and o burly country
man staining bysmpte sme.on theback
TIM IohokAd, and gufaMa sHaW / Hawl
THee,na sgdsu1. SIElSikes Thy cheek,
.Ittle chop, " and in trying to force on me
q drink. o.. his beer rcontTived to pour
.sofne1 1haal l3ny int my Hsck rand waistcoat