The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-10-28
HONEST CARL DUNDEE.
Detroit's Teutonic Philosopher Knows /
Thing When He Sees 1t.

Detroits Teutonic Philoso pher Knows u
Thing When He Sees 1t.
Sometimes a man who yhas all
schmiles ind scrapes ind bows comes
in my place. Was | Carl Dunder, dot
sturdy oldt wheel-horse who yhas for
right und reformp | vias All right.
Mr. Dunder
But | knows him on sight. He likes
to run for Aldermans of dot ward. Der
day before dot he doan' know me from
some sole leather; der day after he
vhas elected he hat no use for Dutch
mans.
Sometimes, when / vhas walking on
der shtreet man shtops me. Why,
hullo? Mr.. Dunderi Why, vas shust
thinking of you! How vhas Mrs. Dun
der, dot handsome und amiable lady?
und how vhas Shake-der keenest und
best poy in Detroit? Why doan' you
come oafcr some eafnings nit your
wife und play poker NIT us? Why,
Mr.. Dunder-,
But | knew who he yhas He likes
to run for some mayor of der city. Two
days before dot he doan' let my dog
run across his door-yard Two days
after he vhas mayor he looks oafer at
my place und says: 81 wonder vhas
old sourkrout keeps dot ranch?"
Sometimes vhas in my back yard
cleaning off der ashes, When stranger
rushes oafer der alley fence like some
policemans vhas after him. "Hullo!
my old frendt Carl, how yhas you?
Been hunting all oafer for you for der
last three weeks, und thought we had
lost you as citizen. Shake hands,
Mister Dunder. Meier mind how dirty
your hand vhas-it vhas der palm of
an honest man! Say, Carl, like to
send in your application for member
ship to our club. We like few high
toned Shermans to join us. Und say,
may pc you like place in der custom
house, eh? You shall hat him. We
like to honor und reward such as you.
BY der way, mebbe Shake"
He likes to run for der Legislature.
Yesterday he goes by my door und
doan' see me. | vhas sooch shmall
potatoes dot he could shtep right oafer
me. One day after he vhas der Legis-
lature he squints oop his eye, scratches
his ear, und whispers: carl Dunderp
Carl DunderP Seems like I hear dot
name somewhere. All! Yes. It vhas
der name on canal boat?"
Sometimes [ vhas alone in my place
und stranger comes in. Good day,
Mr. Dunder. Am fright in supposing
l vhas IN der office of der Hon. Carl
Dunder, late of Shermany, und der in
innate frendt of Prince Bismarck? All!
Glad to hear it. MI. Dunder, der
Gofernment has INSTRUCTED me to call
on you und offer you place on der
Interstate Steamboat Commission.
We like to honor der millions of Sher-
mans in America, und you vhas Sc
lected above all. like to say further,
Mr.. Dunder, dot in case der Secretary
of War tenders his resignation you
-.
Dot vhas all. read him like some
books. He likes to run for member of
Congress. [ meet him lots of times
pefore und he looks right oafer my
head. If I meet him der next day
after he vhas in Congress und try to
shake hands nit him he draws back.
cit vhas Carl Dunder."
"Dumber? Dumber?"
eyes, I vhas to be on some steam
boat commission, you knowP'
Duncan? DumberP Dumit? MY
frendt, doan' hear of you. You vhas
doubtless in some torchlight parade
for me, but didn't 1 set 'em oop for
you? Go away, Mister Dummy, und
let oop a little on dot Limburger
cheese"
Und sometimes a man comes in nv
place widdht any smiles or bows on
him. Was I Carl Dunder? 1 vhas.
Say, Mister Dunder, I like to run for
constable. II you can gif me your
vote | like it. I can promise nottings,
but [ try to do my duty und make a
good officer. Und he vhas der only
honest man in all der crowd. Detroit
Free Press.