The Lambertville record., 1887-07-06

That sort of pulchritude can be appre-
ciated by men whose education in art has
been neglected, or even entirely overlooked
But, as ! said before, the people of Lydia
wondered where Croesus got his scads.
He was not a plumber, unless he ran a lab
oratory under an assumed name, which was
not probable, as his own was assuming
enough.
He was not an ice dealer, nor yet the en-
gineer of a soda fountain, for in his day these
businesses had never been thought of
Neither was he an alderman, for dealing in
railway franchises and rights of way is an
industry of modern growth.
We cannot, either, cast the responsibility
of his having accumulated a surplus upon
the fact of his being newspaper editor.
But still it is certain that Crnsus did attain
great wealth, and he did it while engaged in
The comparatively unremunerative occupa-
lion of king.
The information we have about him is not
particularly reliable, as the modern method
Of writing autobiographies and selling them
at ten dollars for two volumes bound in calf
was not in vogue in Cresus' time
A gentleman named Herodotus, though,
tells us that he derived a large portion of his
income from his mines, and some more from
his conquests.
He carried on his conquest interests as an
adjunct to the monarchy business.
Croesus' mines were probably in Nevada,
although Herodotus does not say SO, and it is
quite likely that he bought the stock when
it was depressed by stories that the mines
were salted. Whether Crosus himself orig
mated the stories or not, am unable to say.
He would also borrow money from the
people he conquered, and then he would
forget the amount, which made it impossi-
BILE to return any. His creditors were too
bashful to remind him of the state of his ac-
count, and these sums naturally went to
swell his balance at the First National Bank.
Crnsus engaged in these enterprises for
revenue only.
A gentleman named Solon seriously Of
Tended Croesus once. This gentleman's other
name is not given, but we will call him Solon
Ehrenbreitstein for short. This man had
acquired double-iointed reputation for his
smart remarks at debating societies and po-
Iitical banquets, and it was considered the
proper caper to invite him 10 things of this
kind. Scion presumed on his popularity to
say things which no one else would have
dared to say.
One afternoon, having been invited to take
tea with Crnsus and to meet the phenomenal
pitcher just secured for the Lydian Blue
Stockings at cost of $4,000, Solon thought
he would shoot one of his smart quips at his
royal host just to show the baseball prodigy
how solid he was with crowned heads.
\ l.. II. -
shad early in the season, and the first straw
berries brought to town always found their
way to his table. Solon thought he would
exhibit his smartness and at the same time
rebuke Cronsus for these extravagances, and
show him the vanity of attempting to ex-
tract happiness from early strawberries and
planked shad.
So Solon told Cresus that no man should
be called happy until he was dead.
Croesus paid no attention to this remark at
the time, other than to order Solon's imme-
diate execution, and SO expedite his bliss
but subsequently it appeared to rankle in
his bosom with very high rank, for one
day, when he was being roasted to death, he
remarked several times, in a shrill staccato
voice, 20, SolonP'
III is Sald tnat CyruS kaiso extensively ell
gagged in the monarch business), who was
experimenting the basting, heard him make
this remark, and was SO affected thereby that
he put the fires out, bathed Cresus' burns
with goose oil and presented him with SIG
suit of clothes.
This may be doubted, however. think
myself that Cyrus released him on the plea
of an insurance agent, who had policy of
s15O,0O on Croesus life, and who offered
Cyrus 81 600 to postpone the roasting, as
burning to death would in all probability
prove fatal, and cause premature ripening
of the policy.
You may think it strange that Cyrus
should be so ungentlemanly as to fry
brother king in so unconventional manner,
but understand that he had promised to
make it hot for Crnsus and. of course his
royal word could not be broken.
He accordingly resolved to burn him to
death in cold blood, but relented as above
related. VIM. H. SIvIrER.