The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-10-30
NEWSPAPER HUMOR.
A Little Misapprehension.

A Little nisapprehension.
Mi.is Dewdrop-Don't you think Mr.. Rosebush
has very sensitive mouth
Miss Rayne tblushing violently)-How should
/ know2
The Cause of 1t.
Guide explaining the view of mountain to q
party1-And here is the place where young
lady jumped off and committed suicide.
Lady-From melancholy. 4c e
Gulde-No, nam; from Boston. se
Theory VS.. History.
Physician-Patrick. don't you know better
than TO have your pig pen so close to the houses
Patrick-An' ply shud OF not. sors
Its unhealthy"
BE away wid, yer nonsinse. Sure the pig has
niver been sick day in his loif'
Tlsa. Settled It.
Journal of Education.
Two Chicago men once started on . wager to
who could tell the biggest lie. One of them
began:
"A gentleman froru St. Louis"
stop right there" said the other man, land
take your money. .san's go ahead of that"
Couldn"t Deny It.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
appearances are deceitful.' remarked the To-
quacious traveller to his vs-a-vis. II bet you
So that you can't tell what am"
lak6n-1
man."
"Confound-say that's not square. but he paid
the money.
Thoroughly Qualified.
Lincoln journal.
81 hear that Bllhover has gone out with q
circus as the Modern Samson"
He hasa Why, never knew he was unu-
sually powerful man."
We'll you see he worked in commission
house for ten years and handled q great deal Of
country butter"
Must See Him.
New York Epoch.
Stranger Ito servant)-.'How is Mr. B. to-
dayW Servant-"He is very low, sir. and is not
expected to live more than few hours" Stran-
must see him at once!" Servant-tAre you an
intimate personal friend9" Stranser-"No, I'm
the gas collector"
The Important Thing.
It'd Bits
hand" in the game)-I know very little about
poker. / suppose the chief requisite in playing
the game successfully is a knowledge of human
nature?
Western Mana knowledge of human nature
helps, stranger it helps; but tho chief requisite
is cash.
About Putting Up Stoves.
It'd Bits:
Now is the time when the husband
While his lighthearted better half
Rocks in her chair and does nothing
But laugh, laugh, laugh
Thoughtful suitor.
New York Epoch
II love your daughter. sir, and ask your con-
sent to win her, if can"
II am sorry; but" began the old man, when
he was hastily interrupted.
And | would like 20 arrange to press my suit,
sir, in the afternoons instead OF evenings, until
gas becomes a little cheaper"
The old man babe him God speed.
A Friend in Need.
First NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. around to my house
tonight
Second Undertaker-I would but I have an
No; promised a lady friend of mine to call
this evening and try to cheer up her husband"
mo; he's funny man on a newspaper
Editors Love Such Poetry.
i've got poem" he said when he had Sc
cured the attention of the editor.
My dear sir, that pieeon-hole is filed with
poems awaiting publication"
But this describes the virtues Of the Double
decked Soap, and I will pay ST. a line Co have it
printed. said the author.
"Ah. charming! I'm glad to see you turn
your attention to wish all had your
gift
Perfectly Qualified.
Lincoln Journal.
young man applied TO a house decorator for
a job.
.'Can you do whitewashine?"
II think so-certainly."
Ever had any experienced"
'Wel not exactly, but"
"But vhat?'
Il was the editor of weekly society paper
For two years"
You'll do"
Advertising Failure.
Lincoln Journal.
NO." said the merchant to the solicitor who
called upon him, 81 could never see that adver-
Using paid me anything"
Have you advertised extensive1y2"
II should say Continuously for three
years"
what paper"
ooh. 1 never bothered with the newspapers
had my card printed on the blotters of hotel
registers. though"
An Awful Dream.
New York Sun.
Husband lat breakfast)-I had an awful dream
asst night dear.
Wife-What was it. joint