The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1887-04-23
CURRENT CREAM.

The small boy, like woman, is likely
some day to make a man grown.
A WORSE thing could not befall some men
than to be compelled to swallow their owp
words.
INTIMACY may breed contempt, but it
will never lead to the divuigence Of the age
Of woman.
The main objection to the man who rides
hobby is, he generally tries to occupy tho
| whole road.
| The house-dog settled the question for
the signing swain who gently warbled:
Chow can leave thee go
| RESTAURANT eggs are huge objects, as a
single one has been known to effectlally
conceal whole beefsteak.
FUGITIVE verse is said to be that sort that
| induces the long suffering editor to draw
his cutlery and prepare for the slaughter.
MAKING mountains out of molehills is
about as productive Of good results as the
occupation Of the hen that sits upon china
eggs or III mps Of coal.
One of the notable specimens of Partisan
high art in its time, was the statue of Ma
poleon which capped the Column Vendome
it's altitude being one hundred and fifty
feet.
A CONSCIENTIOUS inquirer would like "
know whether it is wrong to cheat a law
yer. We are not qualified to say, but we
do not know OF any one who ever was sus
pected of beating one
IT is stated that the finger of scorn has
been captured by buz-saw This should
point TO the cutting reception the in
cautious may expect who daily with things
of a revolutionary nature.
"HAvE you re goot buttaire?' asked a
foreign lady of d dealer; Eyes ma'am he
replied. GLOW do you sell him?; she con-
tinued. "Thirty cents pound" said the
merchant. ''Vell take Won pound OF her,"
she concluded.
II one barrel Of sawdust will make. ten
feet of lumber and it takes five bundles Of
laths to build hen,coop how much profit
will there be or a dozen of eggs it hen
coop is dispensed with, providing hens
eggs are twenty cents per dozen:
AN ingenious maiden overcame dispo-
sition ON the part of her theater escort to
the aid Of a full-grown saferv-pin with
which she pinned his coat tail to the up
holstering of his chair. "sV here there's 9
will there's a way"
A coLoRED lady was overtaken upon Gu
deserted country road by q colored gentle
man who was carrying a tub upon his
shoulder and leading "a pig by a rope. He
saluted her with good rlawn..n, man,"
10 which she Indignantly replied, 'hush
20 biz an go long nigga, knows whit 20
up to, 20 wants to kiss dis yer chile; n-m,
go Tong" GLOW gwine to kiss We honey
when Use got dis yer pig an dis tub to
hanle?" said ne. 'skaws-ess 70 fool nigga!
kssint 70 put dat pig under Dat tub, 1n-m,
70 KANT fool dis c1tilep'
He was Old aud stopped and On his limp
arm hung g nlangy-looking basket. and as
he slowly shuffied into the room among a
lot Of newspaper fellers" he glanced from
one to another as he inquired: would
any of you gentlemen like to tone up your
systems for the spring campaign with a
small bunch Of my nice, fresh sassyfras?"
For reply, ho received chorus of testy
.grunJs. Cont want none hey? Well, no
harm done; excuse me fer intrudin'; jist
mako "a practice Of goin' through this
buildin' every spring fer the good of my
health; it's better nor sassyfras fer the
blood, to meet so many good-lookin' young
amen assembled together in one place; T.
hey2 A dime bunch" After few moments
OF business activity he retired, musing thus:
:;'We DON'T pack around no great stock Of
personal beauty, but we arrive there sim.
ilarly." f. B. w.