The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-11-30
IA Idyl OF the RsilIead-fne Life Of Tank
Tho Biggsgs-Smisksr.
The 9aly Trunk That Ever DsGsd SmlShiEg
-Smnhsr's Gifts aRd Powers.
Dave Hanshaw and the MysterioBs Trunk
-Ese Stranger in the Baggage Car
What Was in the Trunk.
Written Especially for the Sentinel.
.(Copyrighted, 1851

The life OF q Joke is long, and the All oil
getting to Canada safely is feeting, but all
the days of the trunk are numbered. The
fragile pitcher that goeth often tc the
fountain is broken at last, but the if0n-
bounditrunk..wit soleleather sides and ribs
of oak gets bath ends caved In on the first
TIP. The art OF Underwriting and trunk
SIN ashiDg is coeval- When the first trunk
was made. the same record tells that
the first trunk vas smashed. And since
that far away day, ages back in the misty
past. the history Of trEnk-making and
Trunk smashing has gone hand Ia hand; it
has been written in interviewed volumes,
Children of men, /" exclaimed Ben Sole
leather Chilled Steel. ~ have made 3
trunk that will laugh TO sc0rn the gnaw-
Ing tooth of time" 30, race of NOR
tails cried silva the Destroyer, ''I have
perfected maui with four-foOt handle
that will break through the crust OF the
Iock-ribbed EARTH From the maui, as
sisted by Mr.. Darwin and other eminent
evolution fakirs, the Destroyer evolved the
Baggage Smasher, a cross between Steam
hammer and Stump extractor. From
that time two great problems have engaged
the brain and muscles OF mankind. The
one, to produce an indestructible trunk;
the other, to evolve force that will make
kIndliDg wood of the indestructible; to
construct that which shall be ali-resistant,
and to evolve that which shall be irresisti-
bic.
When the Baggage Smssher was evolved
in the fullness of his destructive powers,
the gods were so pleased with him that
each one endowed him with some peculiar
gift. Venus gave him the power to mash
the hearts OF the waiter ladies, SO that he
might always get his dinner first. although
the hungry passengers might vainly 9hriek
their orders in voices rendered harsh and
shrill by starvation, and weigh their quar-
ter tips against the Destroyers smiles
Vulcan gave 10 his arms the restless swing
of the sledge hammer, ard to his massive
chest the resting power of the anvil, so
that whether he pitched or caught, what
ever he touched, or whatever touched him
might be broken. Minerva gave
him wisdom, so that he might
tell, by running his eye over il, the weak
est corner of a stubborn trunk, Apollo
taught him to tell the truth on the bias
so that he might stand beside the CHASTITY
fragments of a wrecked and splinIered
Saratoga, and lay his hand on his callous
heart and calmly say that that trunk was
| that way when it was put in his car. b"
Mars taught him to fight, that he might
knock out the bowling passenger who
sought to redress the wrongs of his baggage
with force and arms. And Jove gave him
a voice Of thunder and a regal bearing
with which to alright the wary CONNER
cial traveller who might seek most thrifty
to charge the house with two tons of extra
baggage, while he paid for three hundred
pounds. And thus equipped, they sent
| him forth TO make life q burden TO all
| travelling folks.
Under the rule of the Destroyer, the life
! of trunk follows the earth In one reVo-
! luton around the sun. 1t, the trunk,
starts out IN the vigor OF sole leather, oas
ribs, wrought nails, and strong rivets, when
the wInd-fowers, called out by the smiles
OF Spring, deck the sheltered glens with
starry beauty. 1t loses a caster or { Eo
when the apple buds are pink, and casts q
shoe in early June. The scythes are
swinging In the hay harvest when IL throws
| both handles, and when the leaves begin
to turn, it comes back from the mOun-
| tains bound with many strong ropes,
| which the Destroyer keeps always on hand
| at twenty-five cents each. at Christ
mas time, that trunks own mother
wouldn't know il, and when the robins
| nest again, 1T is trunk only in name.
| True, trunk may last several years, il
you only make a thirty-five-mile trip once
/ in three years, to visit your grand parents,
and you make the whole trip there and
back in a farm wagon lined with straw, and
sit upon your trunk ali the way going and
coming and handle it as tenderly as
though it were an egg Of the renaissance
| every time you move it. But that, gentle
reader by which phrase l mean, guileless
| imbecile), isn't Just what is meant In thess
days by travelling. On the average, the
/ trunk of the commercial traveller, the act
or, the lecturer, or any professional wan
| derer, is marked ''B O.-shopsh at the end
of the first year. At the close of the sec
ond it goes to the scrap heap, and is trod-
den under the foot OF the ragpicker.
1t is mistaken ipea that light baggage
receives the least in ufy, because 1t is so
much more easily handled. | have tried
| all sorts. and my experience is that light
| baggage fares worse, because the destroyer
/ can throw ii further. He is rather tender
with the handles of a two-ton sample case,
! because if they pull out, he has nothing
| 70 catch hold Of but the small round iron
Jumps and the rivet heads. which afford
him no grip at all. But in the case of the
| little, modest lightweight trunk, the cham
pion pulls the handles out for fun, be-
cause he has no use for them, anyhow:
| he throws that trunk like football
A bright and gifted Iowa woman, Ma
tilda Fletcher, come years ago invented q
safety trunk. 1t was perfect cylinder,
rounded at one end and fat at the other.
So you see, It always had TO stand on the
fat end in a secure corner of the car. II
had to be carefully sustained in position,
4 DtChucc l. IL ltll uON ~ WOulu dtfUos
the car and break the destroyer's legs. BE
couldn't toss ii up on top of a high pile oil
baggage. because il would then roll off and
break bis neck. He couldn't pile any bag
gage on top of IN, because nothing would
stay on the rouded end. Thus II was al.
ways where its owner could easily get at it.
For the same reason il had to be wheeled
about on truck all by itself. It was made
without handles, so that the destroyer had
to handle it with great care. III be rolled
it, it received no harm, but il would roll
in taDgents and get away from him, and
cause him no end of trouble. HS
had to hug IL up in his arms and carry II
into the car as though ii was three-year.
old baby. 1t was perfect success, but il
looked so much like an overgroWn dyna
mite bomb that everybody was afraid Of It
and think the Government must have
prohibited the manufacture of it. as have
not met ii on the trains for several years
don't know whether any of the
younger commercial travellers or actor
will remember Dave Hanshsw, but som,
of the older commuters and wanderers viii
recall him. Re used to run baggage OF
the old Kalamazoo, Andover and Cross way
Air Line, and he was a rustler
One dull November evening they
had made the last way stop, anC
were running toward Chicago q little be
hind time and going slow. Old Hundred
and Ninety-Two" had slipped an eccen
| trio. and was only working one side ans