davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
ROYAL Masks.

The painters having recently let the
world see that they were not too much
taken up with their palettes to allow
them to divert themselves and their
friends with mask, there is not hing
wonderful in the fact that the men OF
law should have followed suit and
demonstrated that Gray's Inn could
hold its own with Princes Hall. In
deed, when we consider that we are
living in tho year of Jubilee and that
the lawyers have any amount OF prece-
dent to guide and authorize them IN
such matters it almost seems as If they
had no other course open to them. The
Inns of Court may not be able 80 show
such a dining record as the City Com
pany's, but they have made themselves
name for stately revels. Gray's Inn,
Lincoln's Inn. the Inner and Middle
Temple have severally entertained
kings and queens and tho great ones of
the earth; but probably the most mag
nificent exercise of legal hospitality
was that when, in the year 1853, the
four societies combined TO show their
loyalty and duty to King Charles and
his Queen by the outward and splendid
visible testimony of royal mask.
The King had just revived his faith
er's declaration for the liberation of
lawful sports on the Lords Day, and
Mr.. Prynne had just published his
"Histriomastix, book against Inter
ludes" and women actors-a direct in
suit, so the court party affirmed, to the
Queen, who had recently taken pat in
pastoral at Somerset House. Thus
the grave lawyers determined, by ca
pering for the nonce Ia motley, to
show their disapproval of Mr.. Prynne's
Incorporate satire, and committee
was formed TO organize the mask. Mr..
Edward Hyde and Mr.. BuIstrode
Whitelocke represented the Middle
Temple, Sir +. Herbert and Mr.. Sci
den the Inner, Mr.. Attorney Noy and
Mr.. Girl ng, Lincoln's Inn, and Sii
John Finch, Gray's Inn. The above
named Mr. Whitelocke tells the story
in his Memorials" with satisfaction al
the part he himself bore in the august
ceremonial. "To me in particular was
committed the whole care and charge
of all the musick for this great mas Iue
which was so performed that it excelleC
any musick that ever before that tim,
had been heard in England. made
choice of Mr.. Simon JOY, an homes
and able musician, and of Mr.. Laws
to compose the airs, lessons, and song
for the masque, and to be master of TIN
musick under me-" All the Yea
! Hound.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
We StOrie OF We DOgge.

Once in We very olden TYNE mer-
chant sayd too an Eddytor, Il doant
thynke advertising payes.
Let me show yov," said We Eddytor.
Il will pvtte one lyme in my Papyr and
not charge yov pennie.
All right replyed We Merchant,
"and we will see.
SO we Eddytor pvtte Us lyme in his
Papyr:
WANTED-A DoGGE. JOHN JONES. 253
w Olde street
Now vt happened that 400 Peple
cache brovghte q Dogge on We next
daye thereafter, so that Mister Jones
(whych was We Merchantt's name) was
overrunne with Dogges.
"Synce there are so manye Dogges,"
sayd he, Il thynke might make some
bysiness, and will give you pennie for
cache Dogge,"
Ye people took We pennie each for
his Dogge becayse there were so manye
Doggss, and Mister Jones SKINNED We 400
Dogges and made bootes and gloves
from we 400 hydes and thvs mayd
A BYG FORTUNE,
and thereafter added to vt by advertiz-
in we Eddytor's papyr.-America ~
Grocer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
German Marriages,

German gentlemen, as rule, find,
do not care much for beauty in their
wives, unless accompanied by some en-
during qualities that shall lit them to
be helpmeets indeed. The very great
est caution is displayed by the Teuton
in choosing partner for life. Before
committing himself too far with q
young lady the gentleman will first ask
her fathers consent to visit at his house,
that he may Judge from the young
ladys conduct toward her parents, and
brothers, and sisters, and servants, if
she will make him good wife. He
must also see that she is capable of
cooking, ironing, dressmaking, and
other little accomplishments. Should
she come through the ordeal unscathed
the pair engage themselves by ex-
changing rings, and the bride at once
begins to make her wedding trousseau
no trihing affair, as it is incumbent
upon her to provide not only her own
wardrobe, but all the household linen,
furniture, and kitchen utensils. The
marriage is an occasion for great re-
! joicings, and extends over several days,
during which much tobacco is smoked
by the males and much chatter indulg.
ed in by the females between the hours
of feasting. Stolid though they be, all
German husbands do not appear to be
great successes; vet the wiTes are ev'
identity sweet, forbearing creatures, as
the following verses from the German
will show:
Oh, I have n man as good rs can be,
No woman could wish for n better than he;
Sometimes, indeed he may chance to do wrong
But his love for me is uncommonly strong.
When soaked with rum he is hardly polite,
But knocks the crockery left and right
Aud pulls my hair. aud growls again;
But, excepting that, he's the best OF men.
All can say is, if the foregoing rep
resents the average of German women,
they are easily satisfied. What treas.
ure such wife would prove, what an
inestimable boon, to Lancashire
miner, or to Yorkshire cotton-spinner.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
How ROath Died.

AS Herold left, Booth made a move
ment as though to raise his carbine,
and Boston Corbett fired. The ball
struck Booth just behind the ear, in
about the same place where he struck
the President. The bullet lodged in
the vertebrp of his neck. and this part
of his anatomy was afterward cut out,
and the bone with the ball in it was
kept in the medical museum at Wash
ington. Just before Corbett fred, the
straw at the back of the barn was fired
by detective, and as the blaze leaped
upward rushed in and seized Booth,
throwing my arms around his waist I'M
der his uplifted arms, and dragging
him out of the burning barn. We car
ried him 10 the porch of the Garrett
farmhouse, and he died within few
hours,-Lippi1cotfs Magazine.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

Little Belgium, with population of
less than 100000 people, maintains
an army of $1,000 men; Norway and
Sweden, with 6,300,0JO, keep 10000
soldiers in the field; and Denmark.
with 1000, 900 people, has $4,000.
1t is no wonder, with so many men
withdrawn from among the producers
and placed among the class that has TO
be maintained by the labor of others,
that those countries do not progress at
all, are loaded down with debts, and
the people in AFFECT poverty.
The imme so navies maintained by
most of these countries compare in
size and costliness with their armies,
rendering the burdens still greater. 1t
is a certainty that the present over
grown ornaments cannot be maintained,
and before many years there will have
to be general disarmament.
1t will be observed that the three
central Governments which are in close
Alliance-Germany, Austria Hungary,
and Italy-themselves maintain ,4SO,
600 soldiers, and in the event of war
could speedily place 4 5000 men in
the field fully armed and equipped.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
Cold Facis About Mary Stunrt.

Some time in the sixteenth century
there fourished Queen of Scotland
called Mary Stuart. Rumor says that
she was good-looking, but such de-
tailed information as can be obtained
tends to throw doubt on the point.
II she had lived IN the present day she
would probably have figured in the
divorce court, and might have been in
dicted as an accessory to the murder of
her own husband. She harbored de-
signs avowedly hostile to the Govern
ment of this country, and the Govern
ment of this country, which was also a
woman, having the luck to get hold of
her, clapped her into prison. She con-
tinued to plot against the said Govern
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
The Doctors Commission.

A druggist on Twenty-second street
tells this at his own expense: "a man
came in with prescription, and no.
ticed that the name of the physician
was not on the paper. called the
customers attention to it, and he said
he knewit. Where is it? Who wrote
the prescription p 1 asked. The GUS
toner said he'd cut the name off. What
did you do that for2 | asked him. If
you don't know the name of the doctor,
he answered, i won't have to pay his
commission He got soda without
winking for il. "-Chicago Mail.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
The Varieties Of Cayerns.

The class of underground openings
known as caverns have, in all countries
and at all times, been especially cap
tivating to the lovers of the marvellous
their strange architecture, beautiful
ornamentation, and peculiar inhabitants
have combined to make them attractive.
To men of science they have recently
become extremely interesting, because
they throw light on the early con-
.ditions of savage man, and make some
startling contributions to the facts which
bear on the so-called Darwinian theory.
The open spaces of the underground
may, at the outset of our inquiry, for
convenience, be divided into several
distinct classes: First, we have the
caverns, or the channels excavated in
limestone rocks by streams which find
their way beneath the surface. These
are by far the most extensive and the
most interesting of the subterranean
chambers. Next, the channels and
chambers followed out by the waters
OF hot springs on their way from the
depths of the earth to the surface.
Third, come the sea-caves, formed
where the battering surges have worn
q way into the shore-cliffs along the
line OF some softer part OF the rocks or
of an incipient assure. Fourth, the
cavities curiously formed where lava
stream has frozen or solidified on the
surface, while the liquid rock below
has flowed on or sunk back into the
depths, leaving the arch standing, I'M
til the matter which originally sup
ported it has disappeared. Lastly, we
have the riffs formed in the rocks
which have been rent by the mountain
building forces, where the walls on
either side of the breale-or, as it is
termed by miners, the fault-have been
pulled apart from each other, leaving q
very deep and long, but relatively mar
row, fissure. In one or another of these
groups we may place ali the known
cavities which occur beneath the earth's
surface-Prof. N. S. ShaIer, in Serb
ner's Magazine.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
The Beau Ideal of n Family Madeleine

A remedy which promptly and completely re-
lieves ailments Of such common occurrence as
indigestion, constipation biliousness, and dis
orders Of a malarial type, is assuredly the beau
ideal Of family medicine. Such is Hostetter' 9
Stomach Bittors which is not only capable of
eradicating these complaints, but also counter
acting tendency to kidney troubles, rheuma-
tism, and premature decadenoe of stamina.
Taking it "all round rs the phase is, there ia
probably not in existence useful, effective,
and agreeable u household panacea as the Bit
tiers Nor is IL less highly esteemed by the
medical profession than by the families of
America. Numberless testimonials from pro-
fessional sources of irrefragable authenticity
evince its merit The demand for il abroad no
less than in the land of its discovery Is certain
ly increasing, time and experience of its benefi-
cent effects confirming the high opinion orig
inally formed of ii.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
A Suggestion.

A Dallas lady was giving her daugh-
ter instructions in etiquette, and how
to acquire husband.
"If a gentleman enters the room. ETH
quette demands that you arise from
your seat, and advance few steps to
meet him with bright, sunny smile. "
But suppose no gentleman ever
comes into the room ?"
Then of course you don't change
your position: you remain just as you
are. "-Hdrper's Magazine.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
IIunbug.

Barnum said "the American people like to
be humbugged" This may be true in the
line of entertainment. but not where life is at
stake. A man with consumption, or any lin
gering disease, looking Death i'll the face aud
seeking to evade his awful grasp, does not like
10 be trified with. So with confluence We place
before our readers Natures great remedy,
Dr. Perces Golden Medical Discovery,
a sure relief for that long tram
of diseases resulting from impure
blood, such as Consumption, Chronic Nasal
Catarrh, Liver Complaint, Kidney Disorder,
Dyspepsia, Sch Headache, Scrofula and Gen
eral Debility. Hme-tried and thoroughly
tested, il stands without an equal! Any
druggist
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
SObriquets OF the States and Their
Residents.

The following are the sobriquets of
the States and their inhabitants:
haine-Pole Star state, Dirigo state, Pine
Tree State; Down Casters.
New Hampshire-tiranite State; White
Mountain Boys, Granite Boys.
Vermont-Green Mountain State, New
Hampshire Grants; Green Mountain Boys
1iassachu setts-Old Bay state; Bay staters.
Rhode Island-Iittle Rhody, Sister Rhody (;
Qua Flints.
Connectcut-Nutmeg State, Land of Steady
Habits, Blue Law State, Freestone State; Nut
megs.
New York-Empire State; Knicker bockers.
New Jersey-Camden and Amboy; Clam
Catchers.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES State; Bucktails.
Delaware-Blue Hen State, Diamond State (;
Blue Hens Chickens.
Maryland-old Line State; Clam Thump-
ers.
VKginia-Old Dominion, Mother OF States,
Mother OF Presidents; Beagles.
West yrgin.a-Loyal highlands; Snake
Diggers.
North Carolina-Old North State, Turpen-
tine State; Tar Boilers.
South Carolna-Paimetto State; Weasela
Georgia@Cracker State; BuZzards, Crack
ers.
Fiorida-Gulf State, Peninsula State; Fly
up-the Creeks
Alabama-L,Zards.
ssssippi-Bayou State, Mudcat State;
Tadpole-, Audca,s.
Louisiana-Pelican State, Creole State; Pei
iclns, Creoles.
Texas-Lone Star State; Beef-heads.
Kentucky-Corn Cracker State, Blue Grass
Sta e: Corn Crackers.
Ohlo-Buckeye State; Buckeyes.
Indiana-Hoosier State, Hoosierdom; Hoo
siers
IIinois-Sucker State, Prairie State; Suck
ers.
Nichigan-wolverine State. Lake State
Wolverines.
Observation-Disclosures State; Badgers.
Minnesota-Gopher State; Gophers.
Iowa-Hawkeye State; Hawkeye.
decentralization State; Iron State; Bull
| ions
Arkansas-Bear State; Bears, Toethpicks.
| Kansas-Gar den of the West; Jayhawkers
Nebraska-Black Water State; Bug Eaters
Oregon-Hard Cases.
California-Golden State; Gold Hunters.
| Nevada-Silver State; Sage Hens
acknowledgements State; Centennials.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

ment and was put to death. The
dowager Marchioness of Huntly is now
running woman's tercentenary offer
ing to the memory of this exemplary
female, and invites subscriptions of
from one shilling to ten shillings for
the purpose. don't know why any
Englishwoman of the nineteenth
century should contribute to such an
object; but, if any do, hope, with the
light of another woman's offering upon
us, the testimonial will take the form
of a statue of Lord Darnley.-London
Truth.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
An Early Riser.

Mrs. Van Coover Ito caller)-I have
such splendid cook, and she is such
an early riser. The ice-man leaves
the ice at 8 o'clock and she is al
ways there to bring it in. She is q
perfect treasure, / don't know what
l should do without her."
Splendid Cook (opening the door,
Place, mum, it's wakes notice Ohm
given yez. Ohm to marry Dennis, the
ice-man, in q month come Thoorsday."
-NetC York Sun.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
Rain rs N Fertilizer.

In addition to supplying crops with
necessary moisture, rain has distinct
manurial value. At Rothamstead, the
well-known farm of Sir John b. Lawer,
it has been shown that, with an an
nual rainfall of little less than thirty
two inches, each acre of land receives
every year in the rain water over four
teen pounds of pure chlorine, seventeen
pounds of sulphuric acid, and between
two and three pounds of ammonia
ArkdlsdU TrdUeltr.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
The Armies or Europe.

1t may be of interest to see what
armies are maintained and at what cost
by the leading countries Of Europe as
in comparison with our own. The fol-
lowing table gives the number of sol
diers actually in service and the num-
Der that can be called out in time of
war. A comparison of the soldiers
with the population would show that
in the event of war almost every man
in the country can be called into serv-
ice.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

The Wisconsin Central Line, although q
comparatively new factor in the railroad sys-
TENS OF the Northwest, has acquired an envi-
able popularity. Through careful attention
to details, its service is as near perfection as
might be looked for. The train attendants
seem to regard their trusts as individual
property and as a result the public is served
par-excellence. The road now runs solid
through fast trains between Chicago, Milwau-
kee, St Paul and Minneapolis with Pullman's
best and unequalled dining cars; it also runs
through, solid seepers between Chicago, Ash
land, Duluth and the famous mining regions
of Northern Wisconsin and Michigan.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
UNOt Bulk, but Business 80

Is the way Western man put il in expressing
to friend his complete satisfaction in the use
of DIR. Pierces Pleasant Purga-lve Pellets. So
small and yet so effectual, they bid fair to
supplant entirely the old-style pill An ever
ready remedy for Sick and Bilious Headache,
Biliousness, Constipation and all blood dis
orders. Mild IN action, wonderful i'll effect!
Put up in walls, convenient to carry. Their
use attended with no discomfort These
sterling merits account for their great popu-
larIty
IT isn't called high mass on account OF
steep pew rents; that is a mistaken idea
Merchant Traveller.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
Safely Landed.

1t was a little kitchen party. She
had grown about desperate, but sud
denly brilliant idea occurred to her.
"Why are you like this corn?' she
whispered, shaking the hopper impa,
tiently over the slow fire. He saw the
point, turned pale, and-popped.-
burlington Free Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
Testimony OF the Nurse.

as there anything more dreadful
than dyspepsia, Doctorp" asked Mr..
Branbread. "There is" interrupted
Mrs. Branbread. "What is it, then ?"
inquired the doctor. "The man who
has il, said Mrs. B.-Burdette.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

Use after each meal Scott's Emulsion with
Hypophosphites 1t is as palatable az milk,
aud easily digested. The rapidity with which
delicate people improve with its use IL Won
derfuL Use it and try your weight AS a
remedy for Consumption, hroat affections,
and Bronchitis, il is unequaled Please resd
Il used Scotts Emulsion in a child eight
months old with good results. He gained four
pounds in a very short time. Tho. PRIM,
NJ D., Alabama.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

through his nose like true American,
II am the milk made. Haw, haw,
haw" And next morning the awe
stricken guest ate his Cruel in silence,
nor once complained when he found
water-spider in the cream.-Burdette
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
she scolds and frets,
She's full Of pets,
She's rarely kind and tender |;
The thorn OF life
wonder what will mend herp

wonder what will mend her2
Try Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. Ten
20 one, your wife Is cross and fretfu because
she Is sick and suffering and cannot control
her nervousness when things go wrong Make
a healthy woman OF her and the chances arc
you will make a cheerful and pleasant one
AFavorite Prescription" is the only remedy for
woman's peculiar ailments, sold by druggists,
under a positive guarantee from the manufac-
turefs, that il will give satisi actIoni in every
case or money will be refunded See guaran-
tee on bottle wrapper. Large bottles, 81
Six for AZ
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

In q Partisan barber shop: How shall
cut your hair. sir?" "Without speaking Of
Gen. Boulanger."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

AS FOR the ballet-girl, whatever en-
chantment there may be in viewing her is
lent by distance. Truth.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
He Lacks Information.

~Are you the COW !" asked the boarder
from town, pausing before the pump.
No." replied the pump, speaking
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

WHEN a sermon is too long, the end
makes one forget the middle, and the
middle the beginning. Francis de
,S0les
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

IT'S curious how affection and confec-
ton seem to harmonize.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
Offer No IS3-

FREE TO MERCHANTS ONLY: An elegant
slver-plated Water Pitcher frosted and richly
carved; height 13 inches Address at once,
X w. TANsnL & Co., 55 State street. Chicago
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

PREVENT crooked boots and blistered heels
by wearing Lyons Patent Heel Suffeners.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26
A Popular Thorourhfarc.

The missing links will arrive when the
sausage season opens.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-10-26

For Bronchial. Asthmatic and
pulmonary Complaints. "Brown's
bronchial IrOches" have remarkable curative
properties. Sold only IN 6ores
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-10-18
Advice to Swimmers.

| a novice cannot learn too early TO swim
| lightly. The best swimmers In heavy
| seaWay assume a vertical position
and tread water to rise with O rolling
wave. Racers in the water assume a va
riety OF positions; some swim on their
side, hand over hand, and others on their
| back. Each has his favorite mode Of nc
ton, but in these the general run of those
learning to swim take little interest.
When person can swim with ease in the
ordinary way, # he is ambitious to learn
more he will find no difficulty in the way.
To lie on the back with comfort, depress
the head TO the ears and the feet will nat
urally come to the surface, and the fioater
will feel himself on a bed Of casa "softer
than downy pillows ara Swimming on
the back, the arms folded on the breast,
is not only delightful In Itself, but gives
the arms rest. a person seized with
cramp in the legs should at once throw
himself upon his back and lie as quiet as
possible, and In few seconds sufficient
vitality will come to enable him TO reach
the shore or to obtain help. Those liable
10 cramps hould never go into the water
alone or swim out Of their depth
Long dives are injurious; they cause O
rush Of blood 10 the head, which, In after
life, may produce vertigo. Tho natives Of
the Pacific and Of tho Mediterranean, who
pass half their lives In Ihe water, are in
ursd TO diving from childhood and are not
required to do much thinking, conse-
quently their brains ARE sluggish. 1t is
different with our young folks, whose
brains are kept sensitive by tho labors of
the school room.-Duncan Mclean In
Boston Globe.