The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-31
BRIGHT BITS.

THOSE who wish to paint the town red on
Sundays must use water colors-LiJe.
How seldom you hear of a woman fainting
anywhere else than in mans arIns.-BOstOR
Transcript
A PHRENoLoaIsT has examined John L. Sulli-
vans bumps. We suppose he found them on
the other fellows head.-San Francisco Alta.
WOMEN are not backsliders as men are"
says writer. No, but they would be If it
wasn't for their bustleS.- BingItaa,ton Repub
ticdR.
How much are these 1owersg'' asked hand
some, well-dresSed gentleman. Il want them
for my wife" Really, for your wifei'' ex
throw off 80 per cent. "-Teras Siftings
CITRATE Ito old man who is beating his donkey)
File, fie, my good friend, do you know what
happened to BALKAN once!
Old Man-Ees, sure, zur--the same as has Just
happened to me, zur-a ass spoke to him--Iri8h
Times.
HES GAVIN to the dawgs, paw fellaw, he has,
aSslIaw you?'
Good gracious hadn't noticed it."
cad Wheaw aw youaw eyeSl Haven't you
seen how tight his bweeches aw, and the cuSsed
colaw of the cwavat he weaws"'-Toe1n Topics.
HERR PRoFEssoE-You hat a remargaply
powerful foice, my vrent!"
Basso-Yes; do you think it will fill St.
James Hall?
Herr Professor-FYI St. Chances HALL Ach,
VrenJ IL VIII not only Vtt st. ClalQeS' Hall
it viii empty itr'-PuRch
MISS WALDO (of Boston(-You sometimes
have very warm weather in Chicago, do you
not, Mr. Breezy?
Mr.. Breezy Occasionally; but last summer
the weather was delightful. don't think sat
down to dinner without my coat ON more than
two or three times during the entire season
Puck.
'AND what kind of man was your husbandP"
a weeping widow was asked
well / thought he was an angel before we
were married but found had made q great
mistake. He was just the reverse But he got
religion before he died and guess he's an angel
now That's some consolation.-B0sto7t CoIr-
Ter.
THERE is no longer any doubt that Chicago is
the literary centre of the country; Adam Fore
paugh says So Il had three times as many
people under my canvas every day last week.
says he, ''as had in Boston, and turned away
about 1900 people every night l know what
Pm talking about when l say that for genuine
git-up and git culture Chicago beats the world!''
chicago NeteS.
OMAHA Have you read "She?'
Chicago Girl haven't had time vet. I've
become a,Tfully interested in Bloody Billy, the
Gulch Gallante, though
Eyes, indeed, it's delightfully."- full of them"
The idea Of reading those vulgar dime
novelist
'oh, this is all right, dear, it's bound in cloth
with gilt edges. Omaha World.
LITTLE BEN's grandfather was afflicted with
very lame leg, and the small grandson was
won't to pray forit every night. After awhile
however, he evidently grew tired of it. and one
evening arranged matters in this way: 30.
Lord he prayed as usual, bless grandpa's
lame leg" Then, struck with a happy idea he
settled his obligations once for all: 30, Lord
bless everybody's legsl" Amen.-Harper's Mag
dzine
A YoUNGsTER Of the mature age of 10, captain
of the Boomer club a base ball nine in neigh
boring city, recently received a challenge from
rival club to play, which he accepted Before
the game took place, however. he prepared two
reports for the local papers, either one of which
could De used as occasion demanded. One set
forth in glowing colors q victorious result for
his nine. The other merely left a space for the
Score, with this concluding comment: THE
game was lost by the Boomerst through bad UNI
piring." This was taking time by the forelock
indeed.-BOstoR Herald