Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-04
BRIGHT BITS.

ONLY Natural After All.--That the "Or-
ange" population of Belfast should bear the
"peelers" a grudge.-Fun"y Folks.
do raw eggs clear the voice?" asks a
correspondent. No, but they clear the stage,
! which Is good deal better -Larttngtoat r, 90
| Pes.
SOME one says it is the hill which produces
| the echo. And here we have lived all these
yeara thinking 1t was the holler.-Binghan,tyn
ReDu6Iicaa.
| NEARLY three hundred divorces in Phila-
| delphia last year. Love in that city seems to
| be more brOtherly than anything else.--OH
| CiV BIissa d.
| ell philanthropy" Yes, there is too much OF
| II in thiA world, and varnish OF sympathy
| helps 1t on.-B sttaa III be.
DO you have damp sheets?" said the fussy
| old man at the hotel, securing a room.
| 'No." said the clerk, who wanied to he
ob'iging ''but we can sprinkle ZEN for you If
| you Ike them that way. '-E.ocadH0s.
| TIE thought that gentle spring ia near
sets all our hearts a-throbbiug.
Now see which liar will soonest hear
Sue, SiUs Journal.
81 SAY. old man, you know Miss Greene
very well. Does she keep Lent2"
Keep ny Why. my dear fellow, she's a
most notorious gossip. She never keeps any,
thing; she gives everything q way." -Harpe'' .
| B'Str
SYMPATHETIC clergyman to widowed pa
rishloner- Vas poor Brother Saltonstail pre-
pared 10 go?
Consoled wIdOw-Yes indeed. He was ing
sured In half dozen mpanies.-LoeOr6
courier.
At recent trial in Colorado, wherein a
Bal imore man sued resident of the Terri-
tOty for selling him a worthless IN ne. the
Judge took the case from the lawI ers and
asked:
IVY hen you found the hole worthless, why
dldn't you sat up aud catch sucker?"
There was no show for it, sir; it was too
late in The season for suckers"
Verdict for the defendant. The plaintiff
should have bought earlier in the season.
VA 50 eet Netos.
1T was an anecdote of a piOus Jacksonian
deacon OF our county in Vrgiuia that a Wing
laid wager that he would justify Jackson
even Tor murder. Overta sing the deacon on
MA way to church, ne entered into converse
ton and prolessed to be just from Washing
ton.
"well. and what's the news at Washing
conf" asked the deacon.
"NOthing-O, yes, there is; Gen. jackson
killed man yesterday"
Killed manW cried the descon.
"Yes, he was walking on Pennsylvania
avenue, and told man to get out of his way:
the man didn't, and the President shot him."
The deacon meditated few moments then
broke out, ''Hurrah for the General! Whv
didn't the man get out Of his ay."-Koncu,e
D. C0nsodY.
A BOSTON CONTRACTOR has in his employ a
ALDERMAN who is something of a wag. and
the other dav when his employer came up tn
aim and said, Pat, want You to be on hand
Tomorrow" the latter replied: Faith, Pm
not gong TO work to-morrow. and there's not
man in the State that Will" "Why?' Mo
matter. that's all there is about it, Pm not
going" The next day the contractor. on his
way TO the place where the WORK was neing
done. met PAT en- route thereto alao. and the
tools he carried as usual seemed to indicate
that he had changed his mind. II thought
you were not coming today" said the en-
ployer. bad luck TO the word said about
not coming to-day; twas tomorrow | OBJ
jected to. What is the use OF making a bar
gain to meet man IN q time that is ALWAYS a
day ahead OF US, get up as early as we may"
---RcekOll Bud0ek.