The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-06-08
PITH AND POINT.

Out OF season-an empty pepper box.
To make Roman punch, call him .
liar Winnipeg Sytings.
Kings ransom-when their subjects got
after them.-7esas Sytings.
One can always take pains by eating
green cucumbers.-Boston Gazette.
About the worst examples boy meets
are those in the arithmetic.-Puek.' ,
It is meet and drink that is depriving
many family of food.-Omaha Bee.
Many are the men who would rather
dye than have gray whiskers.-Asrehaat-
ITaoeLer. -
It is permissible to call Welsh news
papers ''The Prints Of Wales. ."-Drdke's
Magazine.
When is q frame house not frame
house9 When an earthquake makes It
rock Washington Critic.
Among the Zulus young people fight
and get married. Here they get married
and fight:-Tsras sytings.
All men try to get the earth, but tho
earth gets them. This is not joke; tits
the grave truth Washington Critic.
Old lady-'How often does this ele-
vator come downs" Elevator boy-"Be-
tween the up-trips, ma'am.-TSd-Bits.
A man who hunts rats may be called
q ratter, but woman who hunts mothA
is not necessarily her.-SpSaaDseH
Union.
In the matter of speed there is great
similarity between flash of lightning
and a bit Of unfounded gossip.-Sk
Adams Messenger.
A lawyer may not be at all fsstidious
in dressing, but no one likes to come out
in q new suit any better than he does
Merchant Iraueler.
The rope-walker is not ordinarily
Respondent individual, but he seldom
lives long after losing his pesition.-
Duluth Photographer.
Poetic Daughter-"Ah! would that I
had the wings of a dove" Practical
father-"H'm! get the legs they're
much better eating."-7Ed-Bas.
At the primary school. Teacher
"Victor, tell me what animal it is that is
most susceptible of attachment to man."
Scholar (after reflection )-'The leech,
monsieur. .-French Paper.
Tired Reporter -"Mr. Shears, the man
you sent me to interview got mad" Able
Editor-"He did," "And choked me-"
eye powersw "And kicked me down
stairs" "Thelow-living scondrel! Spell
his name wrong."-Omaha World.
Sick Husband-''Qi the doctor say
that l am to take all that medicine9"
Wife-sYes, dear" Sick Husband
"Why, there is enough in that bottle to
kill a mule" Wife (anxiously)-"You
had better be careful, John. n."-Bostos
Herald.
"What makes Mr.. Pottleton so un-
popular, wonder9 Hes good looking
young man and quite intelligent" eyes
but he writes poetry" "Well that isn't
a crime against society, is it" "No.
But he insists on reading it to you, too"
-TosOn Topics.
Tommy (who wants to prove things
that he hears Mother, do you think our
big dog Lion would save a little girls
life if she fell into the water2 Mother
dare say he would, dear. Tommy (en-
thusiastically)-Oh, then do frow Topey
in.-Rarper's Young People.
The fourth finger of the left hand has
from the earliest date been used as 3
wedding ring finger. The ancient belief
was that nerve in this finger
went directly to the heart. Tho
modern belief is that the nerve leads
directly to the pocketbook, and strange
to say, after the ring is bought, tho
modern terminus of that nerve is often
lighter than the ancient one ever could
have been.-Jeuezer's Weekly.
There is a man in our town, and he is won
drous wise,
Whenever he writes the printer-man he dot
teth all his is;
And when he's dotted all Of them with great
sang Jroid and case,
he punctuates each paragraph, and crosses
all his t's.
Upon one side alone be writes, and never rolls
his leaves;
And from the man Of ink a smile, and mark
insert receives.
And when a question he doth ask Caught
wisely he has been,)
He doth the goodly two-cent stamp, for post
age back, put in: