The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-23
BRIGHT BITS.

HAVE you heard that Jones' wife has twins?''
What againgN "Oh, well, large families are
so English. you know, and Jones is the worst
AnSlomaniac you ever saw '--Judge.
WOMEN can not be satirical, says writer,
ANY more than they can be humorous So?
how Is that when man, after counting a girl
Tor seven years proposes. she says, "Oh .
George, this is so sudden. Boston Courier
wHIPPER-IN of the Essex county hunt (hold-
ing his nose)--'Sayin tn presence o. tn ladies',
sor. That fox is a black an phwte wan, wild
sthripes on him, an be tn way tn dogs is
sneezing Oi ink he can't be well, Sor. Puck
AFTER Dempsey had worn pair of new shoes
for four days he went out to the ash heap and
resurrected his old ones. When his wife asked
him what he was going TO do he replied savagely
that he was going TO get on a peace footing
again. Huntington free Press.
WELL ~ remarked Fogg, after vainly trying
70 attract the attention of the gentleman N
charge of the mercantile end of the horse car,
there's one thing to be said of electric motors
on street cars. The company will he obliged to
have good conductors. Boston Transcript.
CALLER Your son seems very much affected
over his uncle's death
Omaha dsme-O, he's almost crazy; he neither
eats naF sleeps.
Poor fellow. He is uncle's sole heir. is he
nott'
NO. All the money has been willed to an
orphan asylum '-Omaha World
''GEoRGE, dear, since you ask me, do love
you"
81 am glad to hear you say So
"Io GU are the best, the truest, and most noble
man earth"
Mabel, viii you do me favors"
What is it,"
Go into the house and try to convince your
father of that, VIII you?''-MeFchdHt Ira Ueier.
FARE" exclaimed conductor on a Lincoln
avenue car, leaning toward a grizzled old man
as the car came out OF u switch" at Indiana
street
Why gave you my fare on the bridge" said
the old man. Il got there"
No one got on at the bridge but little boy >
said the conductor.
Il know it, persisted the old man. Il am that
little boy '-ChcdJO Ne}Gs.
ANABcHIsrIc FIELD MoUsE--Did YOU tell that
bull we wanted this fed to ourSelvesg
Auarch!stic Ghipmunk-Yes l made speech
that ought TO settle him.
Did he say he d go away
lie didn't say anything but he must have
been pretty well scared. He gave an awful bel
Can he get over the fence:'
He's trying to. l guess he wants to ask that
woman in a red shawl to help him. - Omaha
World.
You must practice economy young man. A."
said the ola gentleman; you are altogether too
extravagant."
II do practice economy" was the response
Il only ate bowl of bread and milk to-day for
my lunch
THAT looks better" commented the father.
somewhat lnollifled; what did it cost you-ten
centsy"
Well, had to give the waiter half dollar,
father -HdTpeT'S B0zGr.
DANGEROUS LITERATURE Omaha man-So
you are Mormon wife, en-: Kept prisoner, |
suppose:
Mormonwife-Oh, no, you see no one is watch
| ing me now.
Are yon not under lock and key at homer"
No, indeed; so where please and when
| please"
''TLen wIv on earth don't vo,, ,,,n arrayS,,
Il did think OF it once but my husband bought
me some Gentle newspapers, and after read
| them changed my mind"
Eth: W hat did you lind in the newspapers?r
Not much of anything except reports of di-
vorces, cruelty, neglect and wife beatings. -
Omaha World.