St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-02-26
MUGGINS' ADVENTURES.


ed One Indispatable ssit of Truth.
1t is singular the hallucinations that
will get possession of man when he
has been drinking little too much.
Now there is Mugsins. a temperate and
truthful man as a rule, but when he is
little .'off'-for he gets that way
once in q ile-he tells the most extra
ordinary tales Of his adventures by
land and sea-purc fabrications. all Of
them. He imagines that he has been
everywhere. met everybody and seen
every thing. when the fact is that he
was born and raised in the village
where he resides and was never more
than twenty miles away from home in
all his life. He has Travelled ''in his
mind altogether. He quite believes
all that he is relating while the esprit"
is on. but mournfully rep,Iliates it all
the next morning.
'.Then you wasn't on a four years
whaling voyage when boy?" said n
man to whom he acknowledged that his
tales Of the night before were all made
out Of whole cloth.
"Whale nothin'." said Muggins.
gloomily. 81 don't see why need to
tell that pesky lie every time l get full.
The only experience had i'm whaling
was VIII dad whaled me-"
"You said You went before the mast" )"
..lt was lie; the Mast went before
me. long enough"
Never heard more entertaining
story i'm my life." continued the man.
ethan you gave me of going around
the Horn"
..Well. didn't go around any horn
while was telling it. did I?'
You said a terrible storm came up
every body just frightened to death et.
cept yourself. The dsptain told you tc
take the helm"
Ibid state where he wanted me to
take it top said Muggins with bitter
sarcasm.
.The thunder roRed, the lightning
flashed
.In the pam"
"And there stood the Horn. perfectly
erect and over one thousand feet high.
But YOU got around it."
You bet did, l would get around
any thing with a quart Of beer in me.
But it's lie. every word Of it. Never
even saw the sea"
.'Oh. but the whales you used to catch!
You welded the livellest harpoon in the
business.
"rvc hung my harpoon the will.
low,'" sighed Muggins.
".But say. Muggins." continued his
tormctor, .'there isn't any doubt but
that you fought in the Mexican war. is
there?"
"Ncver fought nothin', tell you,"
said Muggins. pressing his hands to his
throbbing temples.
"What! w asn't you the first man to
wade the Rio Grande, carrying the stars
and stripes high over your head? Didn't
you capture Santa.Anna single handed.
receiving the thanks of General Taylor
as you led your prisoner into camp by
the coat collar? You said SO. yOr
know
Il suppose I did," groaned Muggins.
"What a fool man will make of him.
self when the wine is in and-and his
wife is Out!'
SWELL, Mr.. Muggins." said the man.
Il begin to doubt some Of the other
statements that you made to me last
night. / seriously question whether YOU
CAV Morse his ideas about the mag
netic telegraph, or invented the tele-
phone. or suggested the liberty statue
to Bartholdi. or knew Columbus in the
old country. or went up in the first bal
loon. or was drunk"
"Hold onr' cried Muggins; IF said
Twas drunk there was one bit of truth
that told last night. Let's shaks on
that"
So they shook-each other, and part
ed.-Ieras Sylings.