The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-03-31
Mr. and NHrs. BOwser.
BY MRS. BoWsER.

DNNoSlJ 90 ilO lusllCu lllbO tllC olbtLuS
room without taking time to leave his
hat and overvoat on the hall rack.
Some Of our relations deadf"
Relations? Nav! Mrs. Bowser,
for the past two or three weeks have
been preparing a surprise for you--a
great surprise. How much milk do
we use around this house dailyp
"Three quarts of milk aud pint of
cream"
Exactly, Mrs. Bowser, exactly.
And the cost is twenty-four cents.
You call it milk, but what is it, A
compound of chalk and water, which
must kill us inside of five years"
"And are you going to change milk
men%
Exactly, Mrs. Bowser. l am go
ing to be my own milkmsn after
thisw
You are going Toto
ayes, Pm going to buy a COW"
But you always get cheated on
such things"
"Do /? That's all you know about
it, When | don't make 25 per cent.
profit want to be kicked. A COW
will be the best paying investment we
ever made. Just figure for yourself
There are twelve quart Of rich milk
per day, at six cents per quart. That's
Seventy-two cents per day or $5 4 per
week. Take out seventy-6ve cents as
the cost Of her keeping, and you have
II clear profit of$429. Is that a swim
die? We can use over four quarts
per day, and can therefore sell eight
to the neighbors. Just speak to
Green and Smiths folks, will your"
Mr., Bowser, don't you remember
our pig?'
"Pig! pig! What has a Durham
COW got to do with a short horn pig!
And, besides, your own base conduct
killed that animal. Mrs. Bowser
don't you dare attempt any tricks on
my COW. | don't want a scandal but
I'll divorce you if you ever look cross
eyed at her"
"Well, we'll see how you'll come
out"
"Oh, yes-throw cold water on my
Efforts to give you all the comforts o
life. It's Il wonder to me that | don
get discouraged and go to the gutter
as many good man has"
Early the next morning woman
appeared with cow and calf, having
them tied behind her wagon. Th'
calf was tied as we'll as the COW, and
noticed that it seemed to be boing it
best to keep away from her. Thi
seemed so singular that | went to tn,
+ back door to speak to Mr. Bowse
about it, but he promptly called t.
me:
"Get back there! Do you want tC
get this cow excited and her bloo'
, heated up?"
He paid for his new milch COW ant
placed COW and calf in the barn, an
after giving them an hour to quie
down he came in for me. After ,ook
ing the animals over | asked;
"Mr. Bowser, how old is that calf?"
"Three week"
"And that COW is ita mother?"
ats mother9 You don't think she
its uncle or grandfather, do you
> You must be getting soft in the h cad
"Do you notice that she won't ow
it? See there! She's ready to cril
x pie it if it comes nearl"
MRS. Bowser, you go IN and atten
: to your gossip and that wall eyed bi
Il by, and don't you dare to come net
+ this barn again You have becom
> cross eyed and soft headed"
y went in, but two hours later, whe
. he had a butcher up to buy the calf,
d slipped out and heard the may say;
II That's the way fit Bowser. Thu
= isn't her calf any more than you al
T. Queen Victoria's brother. The co
v may be all right, however she looE
s. like good mixer" :"
= The calf WAS driven away, and NJ
- Bowser put in the afternoon at ma
e ing milk-stuol and fixing buttons c
IL the cows horns. After supper he we
out and MIXED, and rs he brought
Il pail even full he set it on the kite
en- table with the cOmplacent remarI
IS "Might have got six quarts mol
is but got tired"
h He made great ado about drin
ry ing three glasses for supper, and t
H. cook was sent around the neighb'
q hood to drum up customers. He he
y me in lofty contempt for awhile, b
Ell, finally melted enough to inquire
" "Well, did you taste any chalk
IL II that?"
,e- "No, but did you observe that it h
ne an old taste?"
e "W-what do you mean?"
~ 'If that calf didn't belong to !
70 what is the Inference"
IL r,sn ~, t,pna1 uhito