The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-12-21
TIE llMcKlLN / U
Eror Gnrdnsr's Able Address O., Uo,,,
EXtrlVu-.nu.

Eror Gnrdnsr's Able Address a., No,lunJ
ExtrIvm@.nr"
It YVES two minr::C3 after U,s tr'a.-lc
sounded before tho smoke in paradise i \!
would permit tho members to see each ,tlcr.
When IL HAL ut last tlinncd out Brother
Gardner said:
"Nicodemus Pembroke Scott, a local NOM
Der OF dis Lodge, las crossed into Canady nm
viii not rcappear anon. us. Fur dc las thrco
months havo bin cxpcctin' some SIGH climax,
an Gis mawniu', when u messenger informed
mo dat TO had disappeared Grter failin' In az,
attempt to shoot hisSelf wid an ole hos, pistol,
i war not n Lit surprised. IIe leaves q vito
an two chi,l'cn an about fifty creditors.
hat sent him on De sarlo reasons dat
am daily yTcrkiu' to brin- about nnollrr
ponic-do sIniO reasons dat explain dc hu..-
drcdj % bi2ncS' fai.urcs-cic same rea.ons dat
am cripi,iin' de Efforts of thousands Of 5hurL
workin' mon to secure homes of dcir own
family extravaganza. No, YOU can't call ii
extravaganza; foolcIy am n better nanio fer
1t. Up TO q Var ago Brudler Scott was jo,l-
bin arorn' and maxim 81 n day. Den he pov
a siiua hun by which lie ARMED $li per week.
Be was poo OF In 90 house an had debts
hargin' o5cr him, but hcoh was n chance TO
got chen. How was it inlprovedl In leg
dan ono month his vito was rugged out WI!
a go dre4s, twelve siirin' kidd, n s. hat ALI.
an opera fan. ITu haL no peace OBJ min OH
KISS he o5eYcd her. In six weeks sho became
too high toned to wash M iron fur odi :
fol.iseI. In two months sho wanted Il bct;.r
house, viii a rcd pariCr caGpeG an cane sea.
Glars all aroun' Ito room. In three months
she had 10 have - black silk dress, gol! brocs
let's, u tony Gumi.I., XII shoes an gold fl.iu'
in her tcef.
"Dat fooIcry has rcnpci lis harvest. De
husband found dat no WA runnin' behind, his
homo was bcin' neglected, his wife was bella
goS'ipci about, an i'll despair ho las p ckcd
mp his feet an s!il out. 1t was do natural
result. L tell YOU, my frcns, do tornfoolcry'
OF dc women OF dis kentry am s~trainin' OH do
chalk line till t! @ cord can't stan much mo-,
an it am high time dat somebody sots his
foot down. Do man who Arms So per wec!;
has somehow got do iicah into lis head dat
dc world expects him To dress lis wife as il
nc alrnel a bankers profits. Wives OF men
who can't keep up wild dcir house rent nm,
canterin' up an down wild scnlskin sacqucs
an SO shoes. Wives OK men who have to
dodge dc butcher M grocer an tailor nm
now %sclectii' fall carpets nm orderin' 81
lhinDr"quinS. Wives OF men who couldn't
raise SoD ut 10 bank to save der nccl.s am.
ruShir to balls an parties an hnvin' DER
expensive dresses described fur do benefit Of
&c public.
Do SO called society OF de aigo nm COM.
posed OF false hair, false pretenscs, debt dosig.
ing nm b"So deccrshun. Our rich people mn,
distinguished by der plain dress nm quiet
manners. Do snides nn' dudes an doios do
all do swagGcrin', ru5l, on nll do co!ors an
nionopo!ize do biggest sheer OF do street. You
wait! Do man who lives fur anoder ten
Vars will h'ar sunthiu' drap, on artcr de
drap takes place lc thousands OF idiots who
now feel ashamed to admit dat dey doan
keep but two servant gals i'll DO house will go
back to der cook stoves an wash tubs an'
take der proper places in do purceshun.n-
Detroit Free Press.