The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-01
BRIGHT BITS.


IT is pleasant to reflect that the Chicago
Anarchists will shortly get to the end Of their
rope.-Life.
MANY of the car wheels now used are made of
paper. Here's a chance for some more tall ly
ing about paper circulation,-YonkerS States
man.
A MAN may go to heaven and have feathers on
his wings, but he cant hold picnic plate on his
knees without sitting pigeon toed.-DuIuth
ParGQrapher.
GENERALLY sPEAKING woman's praise of
another woman means about as much as Yours
faithfully" does at the end OF a letter.-Somer-
Uiile Journal
SIS your father Christian?'' asks the new
minister.
No replied the boy, "he sings in the choir
brooklyn Eagle.
I'm LILY" said the tramp. II toll not,
neither do spin. but III bet my boots that Solo
mon in ell his glory was not arrayed like me-
Philadelphia Call.
THE red-flag species of Socialists don't want
the earth. They 1nly want the land and the
lager. The rest of the folks can have the water
oil city Blizzard.
The Hotel NAL is responsible for the state
ment that "a certain uptown hotel clerk never
attends a funeral because his habtual smile is
fixed that he couldn't look sorry if he tried"
-Yonkers Statesman.
GUIDE explaining the view of mountain to
party)-And here Is the place where a young
lady jumped off and committed suicide.
Lady-From melancholy?
Guide-No, ma am; from Boston-Judge.
MIR. sNYpERLY, hear that you referred to
me as q liar"
Yes, sir, l did. What are you going to do
about it?'
II was going to ask you to put it down on
paper for me. want to get job in an Omaha
real estate Office and | don't need a better
recommendation. Lincoln Journal.
CHICAGO POLICEMEN are now having what they
call an Anarchist drill" They meet in squads
every other day and are instructed in the use of
Winchester rifles, with which every policeman
on the force is said to he supplied. In order
that they may become proficient in the drill the
city should furnish them with few Anarchists
to practice on. They couldn't be devoted to
better purpose NOrrfstoJcn Herald.
1--WE got a poem" he said. when he had
secured the attention of the editor.
MY dear sr, that Digeon-hole is filled with
poems awaiting publication"
But this describes the virtues of the Double
Decked Soap. and l will pay 81 a line to have it
printed, said the author
"Ah. charming! I'm glad to see you turn your
attention to verse. Iwish all had your gift
It'd Bits
"OH, DEAR, those children make so much
noise that can't hear myself talk exclaimed
Aunt Harriet, as she left the room with slam
Children" said papa, ''yoa must be more
considerable. Your aunt might have something
to say that we should want to hear Now. if
YOU will be real good I'll buy Johnnie nice
bazoo and Hattie grand piano. and Tom1nie a
big watchman's rattle, and I'll make horse
fiddle of the dining table for the baby But
don't bother aunte with your noise any more
than you can help. "-SprjnGfeld Union.
GENT EMEN." Numbered the Judge to the
contending lawyers. this case must be settled
before the court adjourned. There has been
dilly-dallyn< enough. Well, what is it," he
said, turning to a court attendent who had ven
tured to bespeak the judicial attention: Il am
very busy
"A couple Of political friends Of yours" whis-
pered the attendant, ARE outside waiting for
you to icin' EN-"
Upon further consideration, said his Honor
81 declare this court adiourns until to morrow
at II O'Clock. The Epoch.
He LOST IT.-A Detroit lawyer was talking
with manufacturer on Griswold street. near
the City Hall yesterday, when he suddenly gave
a start of surprise and said;
Just excuse me for a moment, will you?"
what is it?"
"A man has fallen down on the corner there. "
"Ah.-Some friend Of yours?"
No: but must see him. He may be an alien. ~
And what of it:H
why, he'll probably want to sue the city for
$4,000 damages, and of course he'll want law
yer. There confound it!'
Hes got up"
''Yes, and I'm left. Mother lawyer got in
ahead of me- I've lost no less than three first
class jobs inst that way in the last two weeks -
Detroit Free Press.