The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-05-13


Then her false front, with it rows of
curis, clinging to her head like icicles
to the caves of house, had yexa-
tious habit of slipping down over her
forehead, as if the shocking cap, with
its half-fedged bows, filled it with dis
gust, and it wished to escape from such
neighborhood
Drawing mental comparison be-
tween her ludicrous appearance and
the gentlemanly bearing of the young
student from Yale, / re-entered the sit
ting-room in time to hear Aunt Pidge's
concluding remark, that Rufus Shoate
was most excellent lawyer, and it
would be long before the world found
his co-equal."
Having relieved her feeling by this
obituary, she drew her snuff-box from
her pocket, and giving it such scien-
titc tapping as would have disgraced
no woodpecker, proceeded to take
pinch of snuff.
"Do you find your stay in Wood
ford agreeable, Mr. Allis?" said ], Gag
erly Selling the opportunity for con-
versing while she was thus employed.
Il am enjoying it exceedingly" he
replied. 81 think never"--
No mortal could have heard the
conclusion of this remark, for Aunt
Pidge was INDUCING in a vehement fit
of sneezing.
"Mr. Allis' blue eyes twinkled in
spite of him, but the rest of his face
was preternaturally solemn.
'I'm terribly inflicted" sighed Aunt
Pidge again, after an energetic use of
her handkerchief, with virago in
my head"
1t was my private opinion that the
disease affected her entire person. She
went on, resignedly:
"What with virago in my head,
and dictoloreux in my face, l think. my
sufferings are about as hard to bear as
those of Cox's martyrs"
Verify, pity is cardinal virtue, and
Aunt Pidge lavished it upon herself
most unsparingly.
"Well, well, Polly" said my father,
cheerily, you're little used up from
your days ride. A nights rest will
set you all right"
Aunt Pidge shook her head defantly,
performed another woodpecker tap up
on her snuff-box, RECALLED herself with
a second pinch, and oracularly de-
clared:
81 feel that L am not long for this
world-nor the next, either"
| perceived that the schoolmaster
was making the most self-denying eff
forts to control his risibles. AS for me,
my feelings were too deep for tears. /
saw that Aunt Polly was rambling on
the confines of the land of dreams.
Wearied by her long journey, it was
high time she sought her couch
of repose. But how to get her off with
out her catnip!
A decided nod, entirely displacing
her false front, till it hung in a festoon
across her forehead, aroused her; and
resolutely Strengthening herself into an
upright position, she rubbed her eyes
with the hem of her shortest cape, to
dislodge that Gimp of sleep who sits
upon tired eyelids, and weighs them
down so kindly" and seemed ready to
prove herself an Argus of wakefulness.
Addressing Mr.. Allis, she began:
my niece tells me you are teaching
in the village; is it degraded school?
The district used to be large; how
many scholars have you canisteredp
The question being of such nature
as to render an immediate answer inn
possible, the schoolmaster tried to con-
ceal his amusement behind violent fit
of coughing.
''Dear me!' said Aunt Pidge, seeing
favorable opportunity for giving a
prescription, "what do you do for that
cough, Mr.. Allen? It's a good thing
to battle the throat in lineament, out
side and in; that is, l mean, take equal
parts of hoarhound = hoarfrost no,
hoarhound, and equal parts of slippery
alum; simmer it together gathered,
did l sayP"
"You said simmered together" sug-
gested l, in an animated tone.
Eyes, yes, till the frost comes!'
added poor Aunt Polly, who, by this
time, was wandering in hopeless fog.
! am satisfied that if l had only
glanced at Mr.. Allis then, we should
have exchanged smiles, and there
would have been an end of my foolish
embarrassment. But, resolved to
maintain my dignity at all hazards, 1
persistently gazed at the catnip-tea,
and soon Mr.. Allis arose to take leave.
Aunt Polly's eyes were serenely
closed, and I thought she was lost to
all sublunary things; when, as the
schoolmaster was leaving the door, she
suddenly added:
''Take care of that cough, sir. We
are all more or less mortal of the
earth earthly, of the dust dusty"
Then the door closed. Irushed into
the kitchen, threw myself headIong
into the clothes-basket, and laughed
and cried till my strength was ex-
hausted. What a0ouId Mr.. Allis think
of usP
Days grew into weeks, and Aunt
Polly Pidge seemed to have taken root
in our household. Tendrils of her
Buckingham entwined themselves
about the legs of defenseless chairs and
tables, to the imminent peril of heed
less feet. The hat-tree, in the front
hall, blossomed with her caps. Not
shelf, from parlor to pantry, but bore
its cup and spoon. The very covers of
the ginger and pepper boxes became
warped, from being INSTANTLY left off,
while she reveled in her burning teas.
My mother had returned from visit
ing my married sister, rather dismayed
by the change which had been made in
her absence; but, as have said, Aunt
DiIcraSC visits 1xro,.o af eo,,os -