The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-13
BRIGHT BITS.

We KNOW of one girl in Lowell who admits
she is an Anna kissed.-Vor Populi
No PHILOSOPHER ever philosophical more
truly than he who said poverty sharpenS. "
Even a razor would not be sharp were it not
strapped ghdDttOR Republican,.
PAPA" asked little Bobby McSwilligen,
what rs railroad poole
"A railroad pool. Johnny" replied McSwilli-
gen. is where they water the stock boston
Budget.
HENRI--Jules and Alphonse quarrelled and
fought duel yesterday, but fortunately neither
was injured
Maxime-What was there between them?
Henri-Fifty paces.-Tfd- Bits
A MAN named Killer is under arrest for muir
der and will be tried shortly. Any man bearing
such name is more to be.ptied than blamed,
and the jury should recommend his discharge,
but that the name be sentenced and hung
Boston Budget
LATELY the country has had the "Oil Trust, -
the Sugar Trust, " and the Lead Trust, - but
that familiar standby, mo Trust, continues to
do business at the old stand, and turns away
more trade in week than all the other trusts
Will get in q year.Son Francisco Alta.
CHARLEY" said young wife, lis there real
~ any such person as the fool -kiler?"
oh, guess not; l don't know, )" said Charley,
who was reading the morning paper.
We'll, Charley, all wanted to say is, please
don Z go out after dark any more until you find
out. ~ Washington Critic.
1T poured for weeks together
Twas the dolefuest of weather,
Yet in her eyes there beamed happy light:
And pondered well the reason
OF her smile In such a season
Till she said, Il see a rain beau every night"
Hdrper'S BGzdr.
HERE'S a box addressed to you, p" said the wife
OF a prominent man. Il don't think you'd
t?' IN tell you; we II take it out and get the
hired girl to open it. She has lit the fire with
Kerosene three times this week, and | don't
think that dynamite will hurt her WASHINGTON
Critic.
A MIsER for whom a man had Just performed
a service grudgingly asked, And what's the
| charger"
Not a cent" was the unexpected reply.
Not cent?! repeated the miser, overjoyed.
why, really, I'm"
mo, not cent" Interrupted the other; "two
dollars. "-SonerUitle Journal
LITTLE THINGS sometimes accomplish great
results Lansing organ boy fell asleep last
Sunday and thereby kept whole church choir
as silent as the grave. The organist fingered the
| keys, but nary sound came forth, and the
| preacher, whose wits are keener than a curb
stone brokers', promptly and devoutly ex
| claimed. Let us pray!'-DetrOit NetCs.
Il THINK bath daily would be beneficial in
your case" said the physician to Plodgers, the
valetudiuarian
'Well, don't know, DOCTOR" replied Plodg
| ers, in a feeble voice. Il took bath year OF
I"O dSO. 1clC'pcCLeT LOT awhile, DuJ IL WASH
| long before was as bad as ever, and l have
| been growing worse ever since. st Louis
| Magazine.
| In a Chicago photographer s.gallery Customer
(after looking at negative)-Not a single hair is
shown on the head.
| Photographer-No for you are entirely bald
Customer-Ges, | know that; but | intended
to have my picture taken with a good crop OF
| hair
| ssPhotographer-Wh difference does that
makes
Customer-Makes great deal of difference
| am the manufacturer of the celebrated Never
Fail Hair Restorer. -sArkdnsat0 Traveller.
Bur, Mr.. Superintendent, you will admit,
| suppose, that your street cars are outrageously
| colby"
Well yes; in winter they are pretty cold, OF
| course, but you ought to be willing to take a
| reasonable view of the matter"
| Reasonable view?'
"Why, certainly. Now, If you should put a
| thermometer in our cars and leave it there the
| year round, you would find that with the 110e
| above zero in the summer, and the 100 below
| in the winter, we strike pretty good average
| in the entire year. Chicago NetCS