The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1887-09-30
Sclctt af(istellanp.
Unexpected Answers.

unexpected duSWtlS,
1t is the unexpected that happens
and no where more frequently than in
school. The Sunday school has its full
share. \ teacher asked her pupils TO
learn an appropriate text t" say as they
gave in their pennies to the next col
lection. The first was. "ile that giveth
10 the poor lendeth to the Lord and
all were right until it came to the last
boy. who, reluctantly drop. ing his pen
ny into the box. sud. to the great
amlzemcnt Of teachers and scholars,
"Thc fool and his money are soon part
ed :"
Children are APT 10 take things liter
ally, and in dealing with them the low
ers of figures have to he on their guard.
The respected superintendent of Il
Sunday school had told his boys that
they should endcavor to bring their
neighbors TO the school, saying that
they should be like Il train-the schol-
ar being the engine. and his converts
the carriages. Judge of his surprise
| when, next Sunday, the door opened
| during lessons. and Il little boy, max
inc noise like IN engine, ran in, fol-
lowed by half Il dozen others i'll single
file at his back. He came to Il halt be
fore the superintendent, who asked the
meaning of it all The naive answer
was: '.Please. sir, I'm the engine, and
them's the carriages.
4 teacher in Virginia, during Il
geography lesson, asked Il boy the name
of the State he lived in. His reply
was at his tongues end: "A state of
sin and misery" Another, in answer
to the question, "Who killed Abel ;:
replied that it was General Jackson.-
1t must have been Of these boys who
| when asked: "In what state was man
kind. after the fall = answered "ln
the State of Vermont.
Grown-up persons are sometimes Il
match for the Youngsters in uneXpect-
ed answers. The Irish Chief Justice
Caultield was very greedy. Only on
one occasion did he have 4 dinner par
tv, and among tbs guests was the rec
tor Of the parish. This gentleman.
being asked to return thanks at the
conclusion of the dinner, referred in
the following manner to the well-kown
parSimony Of the host -
We thank thank the Lord, for this is nothing less
| Than he fall OF mamma i'll the wilderness:
| In the house Of famine we have found reli t,
| And known the comforts of "A rount of beef:
ChImreNs have smoked that never smoked berore
And We have dined were we shall dine no more.
The Chief Justice satisfied Stit1ed his
feelings and laughed with the rest, but
he thought he had his revenge in ask
ing the clergyman to dinner on Il sub
scqurnt day. He came, but when the
covers were taken off the dishes were
empty. Cauliield maliciouslv asked the
rector to say grace, and he, dumb
founded only for Il moment. rose and
sud:
May lie who b.c>.,d the caves and liS',c,
Look down upon ticse empty dishes
For il they d. oar Il 'm ic!is ill
Twill surely he Il miracle.
Another lrga! luminary was as severe
iv dealt with at the hands of Young
lady noted for sharp wit. ! he Judge
whose personal appearance was us un-
prepos>c>Slng as his intellect was keen
and his judgement fair, asked this fe-
made what she means by the term
''humbuggcd." "Well, my lord, re-
piled the lady, angry at the interrupt
ton. Il hardly know how to explain it:
but if Young lady called your lord
ship handsome man she would b.
humbu@ging you.
Even sharper was the episrammat'
reply of voung lady to an old admi.
TT, Who, having found her glove, re-