The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-02
BRIGHT BITS.

A BURGLAR generally makes his home run af
ter he reaches the plate-LotCeH Citizen.
BEFORE marriage the question a girl asks her
lover most often is: do you really love mef"
After marriage the query becomes; rs my
hat on STANDARDIZATION Journal Of EdttcG
ton.
IRATE PARENT in the door. to his clerk, who is
caressing his daughter: Young man, you are
not hired for that kind of work"
That's So I'm doing it for nothing, "-Tecds
Stftis0s
A PUBLIC SCHOOL PUPIL of II years, whose
| memory was faint on the 'tenderloin" question,
astonished his parents at the dinner table yes
terday by asking for another piece of the celu-
loid steak. Bridgeport Standard.
GETTING rid of man is a very easy process if
you are really in earnest about 1t. Some girls
marry and feed their victims with bread they
have make themselves. This is roundabout
way of getting rid of a man.-BW Nye.
''DocToR, sing in fashionable opera COM
pany, and want to be vaccinated somewhere
where it won't show
well, Miss will shave a small section of the
back of your head. Burlington Free Press
A New YORK actress has offered as a prize a
silver cup worth $500 to the winning ball club in
the National League and American Association.
But what does base ball club want with cup?
If it were only pitcher, now!-Pittsburg
hronicts-Telegroph.
VERY YOUNG MAN-You wouldn't think it, but
I've just paid $4,000 in cash for house, all
made by my own pluck and perseverance.
Young Lady-Realy! What business are you
ing
Very Young Man-Tm son-in.law.-Ltfe.
by the way, you are in the drug business.
How is it?'
"First-rate, except that hate to see man
| die for whom have put up prescription"
why SOY"
wei, it loses customer. "-PhiIadelphi
| Call.
HES low fellaw"
Nonsense"
| ."Pawsitively, he is the lowest fellaw 1 evaw
| met"
"Why, you must be stark mad; he has the
reoutetion of a perfect gentleman in every
way"
''Whawt's weputation when a fellaw has such
| a tallaw and nevaw tips the wataws, hay?'-
| Toucn Topics.
Galley has set up a tiger He rides on the
| box with the coachman when Galley goes
| abroad and looks down on the world with
| properly supercilious sheer Jobson remarked
| to Galley on this expression of his servtors at
| the club the other night.
"Begadl'' cried Galley. 81 wonder the fellaw
| looks at you at all. His fawthaw was hawsler
| to the Pwince, and he has a bwothaw that has
! BACKED Wales boots faw NAV than fifteen
| yeaws. '-TOton Topics,
DARLING he said. as he fondly stroked her
| hair, while a look of unutterabe love shone
from his eyes, darling, he whispered, who of
| all on earth would you miss most by the cold
| and remorseless hand of death?'
why how could you ask it, Charles?'' she
| said, turning her yearning, soulful eyes upon
him.
| But must know he replied earnestly.
"Oh. Charlesl-it is"
''Who!" he asks with hated breath
| 1T is-it is-my dressmaker!''
Charley swoons--NetChdfs IndepeW
| It's said that in Me.
| The girls are all pie,
| And that in CT.
No girl wears a pit,
| Though girls down in Md.
Remind you of i'd
| Who courts in KY.
| Will surely be ly.,
| Though girls in o.
| No lover goes no.,
| While girls in Mo.
| All love men like TO-,
| And girl in Neb
| Will kiss if you aeb.
| --NetO York Commercial.