Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-23
SUCCESSFUL.

society of ladies in New York, called
"The Sheltering Arms" is having great sue
cess.-New Orleans Picayune.
Angus Popinjay caught his hand in the
door the other day and he is wearing his
fingers banged up.-Burlington Free Press.
Up in Greenland they serve frozen whisky
in sticks. That would be an easy place for
a man who drank to break off.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Information reaches US that the man who
recovered from sunstroke on Tuesday
last was frozen to death on Wednesday
night. 1t is not surprising.
Herald.
Another Raid on the Surplus-Astonished
Observation-Disclosures a pensionl What in
thunder do you meana" Son-in-law-"Why,
amt dependent on you for supports Well, Il
want to be independenr-that's all!"-Puck.
New York ladies asked that the City Hall
flag should be hung at half mast in honor of
the philanthropist Catharine Wolfe, but the
request was refused. Miss Wolfe never
knocked down voter or carried a precinct in
her Efe.-Omaha World.
s'Pa," said an inquisitive small boy at the
minstrel performance on Tuesday evening,
"what do the niggers wot get off the funny
things sit right at the end for?' ''Oh, that's
replied the old man, who has tried few
chestnuts himself.-St. Paul Herald.
Says bucolic contemporary, ''Sheep will
eat almost anything that grows in pasture
but yellow dock" The yellow dock, how
ever, is eagerly caught up by the atrabilious;
SO that with sheep and a few lver-troubled
boarders, the farmer ought to make good
thing out of his pasture 1and.-Boston
Transcript.
At one time there was silence in heaven
for half an hour, which some men take for
proof that there are no women there.
But there are. That accidental silence was
caused by the women all happening to be
arranging their toilets at the same time, and
each had lot of hairpins in her mouth
Kentucky State Journal.
First Dame-How is your getting ON
at college3 Second Dame-Splendidly, but I
am afraid he studies too hard. got private
note from his roommate, advising me to send
for my son, as he was beginning to toss
around nights and see snakes and things. F.
D.-Dear me! S. D.-Yes, isn't it awful I
have written to the faculty to ask them to
excuse the poor boy from any further attend
ance at the lectures on zoology
World.
f'If you can show me any signs of natural
gas on your farm, I'll give you hundred
dollars an acre." said speculator to an Ohio
farmer. Haven't any time to fool with
it," was the reply. you must be a very
busy man." Yes, tolerably. I'm boring for
oil down in the swamp, the boys have struck
a salt bed just back Of the barn, and the old
woman's out with witch hazel rod locating
a couple of coal mines. We can't fool
with gas afore next year. wall Street
News.
Too Late-The captain of a Detroit tug
boat turned a corner on Twelfth street the
other day to run plump against the owner of
the craft. Both rebounded and looked at
each other for a moment, and the owner ex-
claimed: ''I'll bet you were going down there
to see the fortune tellerI" 'Well, to be hon
est, was," replied the captain. "What
did You want to see her abouta' "Why,
wanted to ask her if there was any prospect
of your raising my wages" "WelI, you
needn't 60" "Whya" because she went
into trance and advised me to cut you down
$40 per month and I was just going to the
Office to give you the news. Detroit Free
Press.