Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-02-17
GREAT BLESSING.


L ~ 0heAu 0eeS0utvSss
TIE lneomparabls syssea q cespsa 1se-
| ters Of lntroducsion Invented - In
Nye.
The interchange of letters Of intro
duction between old friends. by which
valuable acquaintance are added to the
list. is a great blessing. and in good
hands these letters have. no doubt,
been the beginning of many warm
friendship; but like all other blessings,
it has been greatly abused. l have
been the recipient of letters, presented
by tourists, which. twas easy to see. had
been wrung from some sandbagged
friend of mine-letters with sobs be-
tween the lines. letters punctuated with
invisible signals, calling upon me to
remember that the bearer had looked
over the writer's shoulder as each sem
tence grew into polite prevarication.
To those who are in the habit of Civ
ing hearty letters of introduction and
Endorsements to casual acquaintances.
desire to say that am perfecting q
system by which the drugged and kid
mapped writer of style of assured sim
cerity and bogus hilarity will be thor
oughly protected. Let me explain
briefly and then illustrate my method.
A casual acquaintance who has met
You say four or five times, and who
feels thoroughly acquainted with you.
calling you by the name that no one uses
but your wife, approaches you with an
air of confidence and betrays his utter
ignorance of himself, and asks for .
letter of introduction Tin the same seri-
Gus vein in which one asks for match).
You are already provided with my
numbered Introductory Letter Pad.
You write the letter of introduction on q
sheet numbered to correspond with q
letter of advice simultaneously to the
person who is to submit to the letter
of introduction.
For instance. a young man inclined
to be ''fresh," enters your Office or
library, and states that he is going
abroad. He has learned that you are
intimate with Dom Pedro, of Brazil.
Perhaps you have conveyed that idea
unintentionally while in the young
mans presence at some time. So now
he asks the trifling favor of letter of
introduction to the Emperor. He is
going to see the President and Cabinet
and members of the Supreme Court be-
fore he leaves this country, and when
he goes to South America he naturally
wants to meet Dom Pedro. So you fill
out the right-hand end or coupon Of
the sheet as follows:
International introductory Letter Systeu. Form
No. 1885.
SIR: You will please honor this letter Of in
PRODUCTION in accordance with the terms OF O
certain letter of advice numbered as above,
and bearing even date herewith. mailed to you
this day, and oblige, Yours etc., A.. b.
The young man goes abroad with
this letter inclosed in a maroon alliga-
tor-skin pOcket-bOOk. and when he ar
rives in Brazil he finds that the way has
been paved for him by the following
letter of advice:
international introductory Letter System, Form
No 1876 $50.
| YOUR MAJESTY: Mr. W, young man
with great assurance and q maroon-colored al
ligator-slxin pocke:book, bearing letter of in
| PRODUCTION to you numbered as above. is now at
large. He will visit Europe for few weeks,
| after which he will tour about South America.
He will make speciality Of volcanoes and
monarchs.
J He will offer to exchange photographs with
| you but you must use your own Judgment
| about complying with this request Do not al
low this letter to influence you in the matter.
/ - hx-f ha
derful conf dence which he has in himself, and
| which is not shared by those who know him
| here.
He is o fluent conversatiolalist and can
talk for hours without fatigue to himself.
You will find it very difficult to wound his
| feelings, but there would be no harm in trying.
| Should you get this lie ter in time, you might
| do as you thought best in the matter of Quaran-
| tine. Some foreign powers are doing that way.
| Mr.. Was met q great many prominent
| people in this country. What this country
needs is more free trade on the high seas and
| better protection for its prominent people.
| l have tried to be conservative in what havo
said here, and il have given you better opin-
| ion Of the young man than his conduct on fuller
| acquaintance will warrant, assure you have
| not done SO Intentionally.
| You will notice at once that he is q self-mado
| man. so that your admiration for the works OF
| nature need not be in any way diminished
|
| ant, All
| To his Imperial Majesty DON PEDRO,
EMPEROR OF BRAZIL. ETC.
No. 3Os65.
| SIR-This letter Of advice will probably pre-
cede tall youth named Brindley. Mr.. Brind-
| ley is young man who, by q strange combina-
ton of circumstances, is the eldest son of per-
| feet gentleman, who now has, and will ever con-
tinue to have, my highest esteem and my prom
| issory note for $50
Will you kindly bear this in mind while yon
peruse my pleading letter Of introduction, which
| will accompany Mr.. Brindley. Jr.!
All through his stormy and tempestuous
career IN the capacity Of son to his father, he
has never done any thing that the grand jury
| could get hold Of Treat him as well as you
| can consistently, and il you can get him posi-
| ton in o bank, am sure his father would sp-
| preciate it. place in q bank, where he would
| not have any thing TO do but look pretty and
declare dividends In shrill falsetto voice,
| would please him very much. He is q very good
| declaimer. He Is not accustomed to manual
| toll, but he has always yearned to do literary
work. II he could do the editorial work con-
L uEuA - - H.