Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-01-27
NR. ANp NRS RnWsER.

Mr.. Bowser Is great man to break out
in spots"
The other evening, after he had lighted
q cigar and got his feet braced on the
mantel, he said:
'Mrs. Bowser, has it ever occurred to
you to call ms judge
mo, never!p / promptly replied, for
he had complained of the biscuit at sup
per.
''Nor colonel"
mo-
while l could probably have gone to
the supreme bench,or been commissioned
colonel he softly continued, II did not
care for the honor. l am not one, Mrs.
Bowser, to clutch at title, in order TO lift
myself up, but didn't know but it might
please you to be known as Mrs. Judge
Bowser.n
II don't want the title"
Every we'll, Mrs. Bowser. If you have
no care for social distinction, I'm sure /
haven't. If your ambition is TO plank
yourself in the house with that wall-eyed
baby and pay no attention to the demands
of society, | might as well join another
lodge"
l felt bit Observation-Disclosures over the
way had acted, and after a while l went
out and told the cook to call him Judge
when she came in with the last scuttle of
coal. When she came in again she man
aged to bump him TO give her an excuse
for saying;
Excuse me Constablew
There was a solemn silence for five min
utes after she left the room. Then he OBJ
served:
Perhaps, on the whole Mrs. Bowser, it
would be as well not to attempt TO call me
by any title. Hired help is so stupid you
know"
On late occasion, as our ireside was a
scene of peace and happiness, Mr.. Bowser
remarked
80 Mrs. Bowser, whenever it comes
handy you had better throw out hints TO
your lady friends that you were educated
abroad"
"Whysn
well it Will increase their respect for
you"
'But ! was educated in the little red
sehoOl-house at Perryyille, as you know
very well, and have never been ont of the
state"
"Please do not talk so loud as Jane
may be listening! l told a friend only
the other day that was educated abroad,
and had been through all the art galeriee
of Europe"
"What place did you say you studied
att"
Zanzibar
why, that's in Africa"
st is. Now that shows what you know.
Zanzibar is in Germany. Mrs. BOwsei, L
don't want tc crow over you on the sub
ject of education, but when you display
such lamentable ignorance of geography
/ have to feel glad that my school days
we're not wasted
Il say it's in African
Mrs. Bowseri"
"And / will prove it to you by the at
lasV'
And if you do l will give You $50 in
cashl"
l got out the atlas, and there, over on
the eastern coast of the Dark Continent,
was Zanzibar, as every little school-child
knows,
u will take that fifty" quietly re-
marked,
mo, you won't! Some fool of a map
maker has gone and got drunk and mixed
things up and I'm not gong to pay for it,
when / know that Zanzibar is in Germany
1 know it just as well as the atlas or any
body else"
Did this friend ask you what old mas
ter you preferred!"
yes, ma'am, and l was posted there,
too. You may think go sloshing around
with both eyes shut, Mrs. Bowser, but
that's where you are dead lame. l told
him Longfeller.'
"Mr. Bowser!"
"What now? You don't s'pose l said
Sam Patch or Buffalo Bill, do you, Mrs.
BowserG'
But Longfellow was not a painter, he
was poet"
He drew in his breath until his face
was as red as beet, and he jumped up
and down and fourished his arms like a
wind mill, and finally got voice to roar
out:
III bet you nine hundred thousand
million quadrillion dollars to that black
comb in your hair! Mrs. Bowser, such as
sumption and assurance on your part is
unbearable"
Jane may hear you"
"Jane be hanged, and you, too! Mrs.
BOwser. J demand an apology for this in
sult,n
"Wait till 1 prove that LongfelloN was
not an artist, but poet
"I'n give you a million dollars if you do
it."
got down the volume of poems by
Longfellow which Mr.. Bowser had given
me a year before, and then | went TO the
encyclopedia and made tight case on
him.
He was at first inclined TO give in, but
directly he struck the midst of the table
a blow that baby screamed out and then
shouted:
II see how it Is! You are looking for
Longfellow all the time, and l distinctly
stated that it was Longfeller' If the
printers have get drunk andlcft the name
out am l to blsmes
Mr. Bowser, believe ] will say ! was
educated abroad. I will do it TO please
you"
30, yol wir' Well, you needn't DO
ANYTHING Of the kind Folks would all
know by your freckles that You sat in the
sun in some country school foundry
Mrs. Bowser, you've broken up the peace
of this Preside By your malicious conduct
and you need not sat up for me to night
I nav not come home before to-mor-