The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-06-29

would have rendered morn lasting
services to the co1ntry by being
hanged. In view of the fact that the band
boys had only practiced during the rainy
DAYS of four weeks land the farmers had
complained of dry weather., there was, L
reluctantly admit, some justice in the re-
mark. When the band had ceased 10 har-
ass that great national air, Molly Oar
ling" the Colonel climbed upon the plat
form. He sat down, and after looking over
a number of papers, turned to a friend and
with an air of great perplexrty said;
"Bill, by gings, I've lost that preshus
dockyment."
That's bad" Bill replied. Amt ysu
got somethin else thatll do as well?"
81 amt got thing but cut-throat
mortgages.
Read one of them," Bill suggested.
I'm almost afeerd.
"Oh, YOU neenter be. Nobody will ever
know the difference, an sides that, the
Declaration OF Independence was only the
liftin of mortgage after all.
that's a fact, Billie. You've got
great head on you, my son, an Ell you
watch yore p'ints like yore Aunt Nancy
watchin kittle of b lin soap, you'll own a
cross roads sto' an II new suit OF jeans one
of these here days. Wall, getting up,
the brinle cat is about ready to make
jump"
Then he faced the crowd and said: Eel
Ter citizens, we have met here on this
solemn occasion-not so blamed solemn as
YOU mout suppose met on this lively oc-
casion no. so lively but it mout be worse
to celebrate this great celebration. L
will now read to you a dockyment that"
Just then there arose the fearful cry of
mad dogs" "Mad dogs" Six or eight
terrific looking dogs had dashed into the
crowd, and the people were running fer
their lives. Three of the dogs dashed up
TO the speakers stand. and, sitting down on
the ground, pointed their noses at the
Colonel and the members of the commit
tee. BY this time the crowd had dispersed.
The Colonel and his friends were alone.
"Merciful heavenl" loudly mourned the
Colonel, they are going to Jump up here!"
The dogs had begun to cut ugly capers.
"Grab limb an climb up IN the tree"
some one shouted.
The Colonel seized limb, and after
every one else had found n safe lodgment,
he succeeded in climbing short dis
lance, when, 10 his horror, he found that
he could climb no further, and what made
the situation still more thrilling, he found
that the swinging limb dipped him down to
within few feet Of the most terocious-
"Oh, Lord" the miserable man groaned,
as he felt himself again dipped down, I'll
bet anything he nabs me this time. Why
must l lie burdened with so much flesh?
Can't you relieve me of little of it,"
"The dog will do that" shouted some
one who was safe in the top of the tree.
You scoundre," shouted the Colonel,
"you internal scoundrel- Oh, Lord,
forgive me for using such harsh language,
for am dipping down again. Oh, Lord.
did you see him snap at me? I'm gone
bet a hundred dollars I'm gone. Look at
him! Oh, Lord, he's going to Jump at me.
Bet hundred an fifty I'm gone.
The day wore away in agony, and night
of misery settled down. The Colonel,
alternating between praying and betting,
passed the night somehow, and when day.
light came the worn out man saw that the
dogs We're gone. The Colonel, unable to
climb down, turned loose and fell off like
a sloth.
Miles Brewer. early that morning, called
up pack of bloodhounds, and, as he fed
them, remarked
Good old boys. They tell me that you
done yore work fine. Wouldn't take nothin'
fur you. Didn't hear the readin of the
dockyment, did you? Good old boys"