Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-14
Courted BY a Corpse.

A great many people are under the
impression that when the breath is out
of the body there is nothing animate
or intelligent remaining. 1t is true
that religion teaches us to believe that
the better part of mantle soul
lives after the collapse of the mental
frame. But nowhere until recently
has the idea ever been advanced that
a corpse can be so arranged under the
ministrations of science as to preserve
the intelligence and perspicacity Of
the natural man. 1t has, however,
been left to an undertaken Of this city
to demonstrate that this thing can be
done.
Not a great while since there died
in San Francisco gentleman who
was on visit to this coast from the
East. He was apparently person
who commanded sufficient means for
all the ordinary purposes of life, but
when he died only small sum was
found in his possession. His relatives
were communicated with, and instr NC.
tions came from his wife to have the
body embalmed, preparatory to ship
ment to his old home in the East.
This was done, and the bill, represent
ing rather steep figure, forwarded to
the grieving widow. The sum so far
exceeded her expectations that she
Indignantly refused to pay it, and the
corpse was left on the hands Of the
undertaken. This gentleman had
read somewhere that in a similar case
down in Arizona the conductor of
funerals had utilized the corpse left
on his hands as an advertisement for
his trade. Acting upon this sugges-
ton he had tho cadaver in question
taken from the neat metallic coffin to
which it had been fitted and dressed
up in Prince Albert suit, and adjust
ed to a sitting position in an arm
chair in the back parlor of his estab-
lishment,
So perfectly had the embalming
been accomplished that, with the ex-
ception of the grayish pallor which
overspread the face, the dead man
looked as natural as life. This cir
cumstance suggested to an ingenious
young man connected with the under
taking establishment the idea Of util-
izing the corpse for entertaining OF
visitors. To this end the chair in
which it sat was placed against thin
partition, which had previously been
pierced for the reception of a speak
ing tube. This was so arranged that
the tube rested against the coat collar
of the corpse. BY speaking through
this from the other side of the parti.
ton, in the dim light of the back par
lor, to the casual observer it appeared
as if the corpse was talking.
Fortunately, however, the upright
position and graceful poise of the body
of this interesting person led all who
looked upon it to conclude that il
was only middle aged gentleman sit.
ting there at his ease. But this was
not all. The undertaker's ingenious
clerk had attached to the right arm
of the corpse the wire of galvanic
battery, and by the proper manipula'
tion of the instrument he could cause
the arm to rise or fall gently or curve
around any object near it.
One day spinister lady of uncer-
tain age came into the parlor to make
some inquiries relative to prospec-
tive funeral. As she entered, the
corpse, which she supposed to be a
well dressed visitor, gracefully bowing
invited her to take a seat at his side
where vacant chair was ready for
her service.
"Take a seat, miss, sit here [indicat.
ing the chair]; am charmed to have
the pleasure of seeing in this desolatt
apartment lady of such fascina.
tions.
you are very polite, am sure, .
murmpred the ffattere | fair one.
81 make it point, my DEAR" con.
tinued the corpse, "to note every
beautiful face that comes into this
room. You must know that remain
here all the time, night and day, and
my only happiness consists in receiv.
ing and entertaining an occasional
visitor"
"Why, how curious! You stay
here all the time ?"
Cali the time, my dear, day and
night. In fact, never leave thi,
chair" softly and sadly remarked the
dead man.
"Are you doing penance, sir I,
inquired the lady. e.
"Oh, no the undertaken is my Jail.
err"
For a single moment the lady wa,
frightened. The thought occurred tc
her that she was in the presence of Q
| maniac and n thrill of oncroLoo.;or