davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
A Nice Climate.

Puck.
Miss Waldo tof Bostonl-You sometimes ave
very warm weather in Chicago. do you not Mr..
Breezy
Mr.. Breezy-Occasionally: but last summer
the weather was delightful. / don't think sat
down to dinner without my coat more than
two or three times during the entire season!
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
In memory of
POLLY, Wife of
General Joseph Lane.
Born March 10, 1902.
Died Aug. 10, 1870.

The grounds of the little church yard are dot
ted over with number of oak and pine trees.
Shrubs and flowers also adorn the grounds. The
grave of the famous man national affairs is
often visited.
Several of his sons live in Douglas county.
Oregon. One of his sons. Hon. Lafayette Lane,
represented the State some years ago in Congress.
He is now, as then. a lawyer in Rossburg.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
This Actually Happened.

Pittsburg Observation-Disclosures
First Colored Citizen-"Come ovah yur Jim
Second Colored Citizen-''Whaffur?"
''Cfot suthin' good"
''What is h2n
''Pollynaris watah."
''Pooh, watah!"
'''S good. though"
''Whas taste like?"
"Like yer fooJ's asleep"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
Uncailed-for Interruption.

Eimira Gazette
81 am going to buy light coat to match these
pantaloons," he remarked to his wife. the other
day, land light pair of gloves 70 match the
coat. and a light, soft hat to match" "Your
head, / suppose" interlarded the spouse gently,
and the household knew harmony no longer that
day.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29

Texas Siftings
Boy-Teacher, I wish you would make that
girl quit wlnking at me.
elsef
Boy-Because if 1 do she'll wink at some
other boy.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29

Hair like a mist in the sun,
Eyes like the blue of the SKY,
Mouth like rosebud half blown,
Curved for a laugh sigh
Pointing. yet peeping to spy
If the fate bearing daisy told true;
AS she stood there demure, I-why
l kissed her, of course-wouldnt you'll
The new waltz of Strauss had begun
The waltz throbbed hard like a cry
Wrought of pleasure and pain all in ole
And the dancers went lazily by,
As she gave me the daisy to try
Whether Cupid said anything new;
Then she sighed--oh so softly and-why
L kissed her, of course-wouldnit you'll
just a kiss-what's the harm that was donei
Not soul in the garden was nigh,
And, you know, what is found out by none
Never happened-none need to deny.
just kiss snatched from lips that were shy
AS the blush that across her cheek flew.
And the red of the rose would out-vie-
kissed her, of course--wouldnt you!
L'ENvoI.
Pretty maid, now my ballade is DONE
You ask, what's the moral to youi
haste to reply, there is none
Butt kissed her, of course-wouldnt youl
"A. b. Houghton.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29

The wine that | hold, is pre-
cious as gold; it's sparkling
and red, it wont fly to your
head; but it makes you feel
good and gives you rich blood.
Try it and be happy, and forget
life and its strifes, Stuber'S Wine
Sap you will find is the elixir Of life.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
In memory of
GENERAL JOSEPH LANE,
Born Dec. IA. 1901;
Died April 10. 1881.

Another stone bears the inscription:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29

If there Is one man more than another who IS
mentioned frequently by his neighbors it is the
man who does not attend to having the street
before his house daily sprinkled. 1t does not
matter whether he declines to pay a certain
amount per week to the street-sprinkl er or
whether he neglects the use OF the waterworks
on his own premses-the result is the same He
is prominently and often the subject of unfiat-
tering comment in the homes round about him,
whose peace and comfort depend in a measure
upon him. At first he is entioned semi-respect-
fully the dissatisfied tone serving to express
and punctuate the opinion he arouses- the
neighbors wish Mr.. Jones would sprinkle his
share of the street. But Mr.. Jones doesn't
sprinkle The dust WAKES thicker aud thicker
but it doesn't disturb him. Then the dissatis-
faction blossoms into genuine indignation. ana
the neghbors, whose faithful sprinkiing avaiieth
little because of the clouds which arise
little in terms of courtesy, and
wish to goodness Jones would sprinkle his side
of the stree. Still Jones sprinkleth not-the
wind is westerly, and the neighbors get all his
dust-what careth hel He takes his on his
piazza, AID at the sight the nsiehborhood senti-
ment rises to the dignity of wrath. The abused
neigh bors glover across the street at the DISC
blieiug mans abode-they get together and
hang over fences to talk about him. He has
reached the ground now. public estimation.
and they all agree that it's perfect outrage
that old Jones cannot be made TO sprinkle the
street Mr. Jones. Jones. old Jones. do you re-
aize what it is to fly in the face of whole
neigh borhoodl Running for Office cannot hold n
candle to it If you know when you are well off
and want to preserve a rag of your reputation to
hand down to your posteeity, you will do your
share of the spripkling. Sprinkle. neigh Dor.
sprinkle.
There is no more touching and com plimentary
tribute to a criticism than elaborate disclaim-
or filed against it It is proof positive that the
structure touched home Of this ilk is the
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22

cinnati, and the libraries of Harvard, Colum-
bia, Yale, Cornell and Brown universities
In forty of these libraries there are
$685. ,472 volumes, and the whole list of
5,33s libraries aggregates go, ,622, ,076 vol
umes, which is estimated to furnish three
books to every person in the country. The
lowest State in the list is Arkansas, which
has one library to every 50,15s of popula-
ton.
According to Russian newspaper, an en-
gineer has just arrived at Matala, in Sweden,
to take over steamer that is being built for
the monks at Solovetsk. This vessel will
make the sixth steamer belonging to the
monks, who use them to convey to their
monastery the 3d. 900 pilgrims that annually
repair to the place. The monastery is stu
ated on the largest of the three islands form
ing the Solovetsk group. The island meas
ures fifteen miles in length by ten in breadth,
and is only accessible from the middle of
May until the middle of September. During
this period the steamers owned by the monks
run regularly to Archangel and back, charg-
ing very little for the double voyage, and, in
the case of very poor pilgrims, nothing at all.
Each pilgrim, moreover, according to ancient
custom, is boarded and lodged for nothing
at an inn belonging to the monastery. Be-
sides its shrine, Solovetsk is famous for its
mines of tale, large of quantities of which
are exported to Russia and abroad. A pecu-
liar feature about the Solovetsk steamers is
that they are all manned by monks and
commanded by monastic captains. The
mainmast of each steamer is surmounted by
a Golden nrnss
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
APPEARANCES.

A woman rarely pretends to be angry, al
though she often appears pleased when she
isnt.-Philadelphi Call.
':I hope, my little daughter, that you will
be able to control your little temper to day"
said mother one morning. eyes, mother,
and hope you will control your big tenn
per-"
A Chicago man fell into the river the
other day with his mouth wide open and
got few drops of water in his interior.
Of course it killed him.-Newman Indepen-
dent
''I reach and reach, but cannot grasp"
writes poet. When newspaper man feels
that way he just gets up and scratches his
back on the edge of the door.-Burlington
Free Press
The Rev. Mr.. Whangle-''My boy, Pm sor-
ry to see you flying your kite ou the Sabbath
day" The Boy-"Why, it's made out of
the Christian Weekly, and got tail of
tracts. Puck.
Mobile, Ala, has a brass band that goes
out three miles in the woods to practice, but
the farmers are beginning to object on the
ground that they are stunting the growth of
the trees.-Burlington Free Press.
"Your honor, he was drunk. I saw him
staggering through the street." said the po-
liceman. Prisoner-'tYour honor, he is
mistaken. I was simply practising the
sLcp, IOR LAC1o 10 LIZ AAOWllS
what may happen"
civilian Sturgeon, the able and famous
electrician, rose from a cobbler's bench" !"
We man try to do the same thing once,
but he was prevented by chunk of shoe
makers wax that had been carelessly or mis-
chievously left on the seat of the bench
Danville Breeze.
''Can any boy name an animal of the Or
der 'edenta'-that is, front toothless ami
mal2" A boy whose face beamed with pleas
ure at the prospect of good mark, replied
'I can." "Well, what is the animalt' asked
the teacher. 'My grandmother" replied
the boy with great glee.
"My DEAR said K street father to his
daughter, "whe is the gentleman who has
been SO attentive to you of latea" 'sOh, pa
pa, he is such a nice gentleman, and he gets
$4,000 a year!' ''Great Scott, child, he
must be a cabinet minister" ''Oh. no, he
isn't, papa; he is the pitcher in base ball
nine. w ashington Critic.
81 say, George" said St. Paul drummer
to Minneapolis brother as they came to-
gether in Dakota hotel, "have you heard of
the big row they are having in your town
just nova" Grow! no. What's the difficult
tya' ''They have taken all the Bibles out of
the schools there" 'sThe Bibles out of the
schools! What for, praya" FWhy, because
it mentions St. Paul many times, but Mime
apolis not once".-Chicago Commercial Tray
eler.
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22

upon and delivered to the cook pro tenn,
who speedily sliced them up and flung them
in the saucepan.
Upon beholding this brisk appropriation of
their stores the three dusky danes gave a
frightful screech, threw themselves on their
knees before Courbet, and seemed by their
gestures to implore the restitution of their
mushrooms. Vain prayers.
In due time the omelet was cooked, served
and eaten. Their hunger appeased the un-
of the victimized ladies when five stark ma
ked savages dashed into the hut with blood
curdling yell. 1t was the proprietor accom-
panied by his four song. Immediately the
women broke out afresh with their plaintive
howls, pointing to the place whence the
mushrooms had been SO ravenously snatched.
The savages took in the situation at a glance
and rushed upon Courbet and party, fero-
eiously brandishing their clubs. Courbet
lost no time in drawing his revolver and his
men followed suit. Thus armed they ad-
vanced threateningly towards the infuriated
negroes, who finding themselves immensely
in the minority, hastily modified their man
oeuvres, while the father of the flock STAN
mersd out few words of mangled English
by way of explanation.
Horrible reyelationi From the words of
this old cannibal Courbet learned that the
supposed mushrooms were no mushrooms at
all, but simply human brains which the
provident housewife was drying in the sun
against a rainy day.
Courbet acknowledged afterward that he
had never eaten so savory an omelet. Al
belt the immediate effects were disastrous.
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
Tuesday, March %, 1857
SOME DISAPPRARANCEs.

Every little while somebody disappears,
and sooner or later reappears, having no
knowledge of what he has done during his
absence. The latest notable case is that of a
man who left his home suddenly, went to
Norristown, Pennsylvania, opened a small
store there, ran it for a month or SO, and
then surprised some Of the neighbors by
asking them where he was and telling them
that he remembered nothing about leaving
home or what he had done since.
The attention of medical and scientific OBJ
servers both in this country and in Europe
has been turned to such cases lately. DR..
William A. Hammond discusses mysterious
disappearance in the current number of the
Forum, and gives some examples to show
what may happen. For instance, a gentle
man left his Office about nine o'clock one
morning, telling a friend that he was going
to buy some tulip bulbs. He remained alb
sent for eight days, during which time his
friends, Notwithstanding all their efforts, were
unable to find him. He was tracked all over
the city, and, as he had lost an arm in the
war, this was no difficult matter, but the
detectives who were set to watch him were
always an uOur VI uOIo ulul,
finally all indications of him were lost. 1t
was ascertained that he had been to hotels,
where he had slept, to shops, where he had
made purchases, to billiard saloons, where
he had played several games, and to theaters.
subsequently it was discovered that he had,
on the fifth day, left New York by the Lehigh
Valley railroad, and had gone as far as Eas-
ton, Pennsylvania. Here he had lost his
ticket, and not being able to give satisfac
tory account of himself, and refusing to pur-
chase another ticket, he was put off the train.
He had then returned to New York, had
passed the night at hotel in the lower part
of the city, and on the eighth day at about
ten o'clock made his appearance at his Office.
He had no recollection of any event that had
occurred after he had LETT his place of bust
ness, eight days previously. till be woke on
the morning after his return, and found him
self in hotel at which he was a stranger.
1t was ascertained beyond question that in
all this time his actions had been to all ap-
pearances entirely correct, that his speech
was coherent, and that he had acted in all
respects as any man in the full possession of
his mental faculties would have acted.
It is not very pleasant to think that man
can thus be turned into somebody else for a
week or month as the case may be, yet
there is abundant proof that he can be.
This is mad world, my masters.
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
A Plucky B0stORian.

Arlo Bates in the Providence Journal.
1t was raining, and the streets were in a
worse condition than would be possible out
side the streets of a civilized town of the last
quarter of the nineteenth century. 1t was
also near nightfall, and the winter dusk was
already beginning to fall. Mrs. A., Boston
lady, who belongs to the most exclusive cir
cles of Aealth, fashion and culture, came out
of the Boston and Albany station, expecting
to find her carriage waiting for her. By
some mistake, however. the coachman had
failed to be on hand, and she stood under
the roof sheltering the sidewalk before the
station waiting for him. AS she stood there
almost alone drunken teamster, who had
overloaded his horses, attempted to cross the
horse car track and got stuck. The streets
resounded with his oaths, and the blows
which he rained upon the unfortunate hor-
ses Mrs. A. stood moment and regarded
the scene. Then, with deft twist of her
hand, she gathered up her gown-a Boston
woman would remember her clothes in hur-
rying through the closiug gates of Paradise,
and be sure her train was by no ill chance
caught in the crack!-and without hesitation
walked deliberately into the street. Laying
her delicately gloved hand on the arm of
the brutal driver, she said with firm distinct
ness:
''stop beating those horses or will have
you arrested
The suddenness of the attack took the
man so by surprise that for second or two
he simple stared in stupid astonishment.
Then he turned with an oath from the horses
to the lady. eyes, I was frightened" Mrs.
A. confessed afterward, "but I knew enough
not to show it. The worst of it that
there was no policeman in sight. and all at
once it seemed to grow awfully and suddenly
dark but of course 1 couldn't give in after I
started. So said with all the dignity I
could muster: 4 am a member of the Soci
ETY. for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ami
mails. and I will certainly have you arrested
if you heat those horses He swore fearful
1y and I began to lose my courage, when just
in the nick of time my carriage drove up.
The coachman looked as if he thought I'd
gone mad; but didn't mind. ] told him to
go and find policeman and bring him back.
Then the driver cooled down all at once, but
he had been drinking and I had no notion
of leaving until my work was done. James
brought policeman and Il gave him my ad
dress and left him in charge. Then I went
home and got some dry boots on"
The incident is by no means one of re-
markable rarity and it illustrates the pluck
and cool-headedness of the Boston woman,
and no less the active interest she takes in
the affairs of life. Philanthropic societies
mean something more than mere words in
this town of advanced ideas.
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
TYING UP HIS RECORD.
How Josh Billings Drew Inspiration
From His First Failure.

lfFOIl Inc chicago MalJ
The late Josh Billings told me once that
his first experience on the lecture platform
was the making of him. 81 had been wri-
ting good deal,'' he said, ''and the stuff
was pretty well received. l imagined I was
little the biggest man in New York, and
certainly the best known man outside the
city except Greeley. 1 had made scrap
book of my writings, and concluded 1 would
give readings from these. l made en-
gagement to give such a reading at small
town in New Jersey. I carried my book
with me and put up at the one hotel in great
style. The landlord did not seem remarka-
bly, overawed by my presence, which was
dozen tickets for the lecture. When I came
on the platform there were but seven per-
sons in the hall, six of them being from the
hotel and the seventh small boy who came
in free. When 1 got back to the hotel
called the landlord into my room and had
him bring me all the old newspapers he
could find and a ball of cord. l took out
my book wrapped a dozen or so of newspa-
pers around it and then began winding the
cord
81 wound that entire ball about the bun
die and tied the ends with a double knot
The landlord had watched the proceedings
intentlv, and when had finished my wrap
ping he inquired what the proceedings
meant. 1 told him was going back to New
York to go to work, and [ did not propose
to unite that book until could do SO in this
town and before an audience that would fill
the house. 1 went back to the city," con-
tinued Mr.. Shaw. ''and struck out on new
lead. Two years after received an invita-
tion to lecture in this same town. I had
been waiting for this. I took out my old
book and took it along to see how things
looked. When I came on the platform I
found an audience so tightly packed that the
last man had to leave his cane in the vesti-
bule for want of room. I took out my book
and unwrapped it before them, telling the
story as did So 1t was this shutting up Of
the past and beginning again that saved nae
or at least made me what am"
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
Admiral Courbst's Brain Feed.

The following yarn was spun me several
years ago by one of Courbet's messmates:
Some years ago when the hero of Tonquin
was a simple lieutenant he was detailed in
company with half dozen sailors to explore
a savage portion of the west African coast
near Dohomey. For days they had traversed
the wilderness without meeting anything in
the shape of animal life save monkeys
squirrels, small birds and like game too spry
to admit of capture. Exhausted by fatigue
and famine, the little caravan found itself
one day at eventide wandering helplessly
about in jungle of outrageous verdure.
Suddenly one of the men espied a hut neatly
ensconced in a group of palms. Entering
they found three negresses in the act of ma
king their painfully simple toilet Having
conciliated the swarthy forest nymphs by
the gift of some glass beads, Courbet de-
manded food. The dusky mattresses de la
maison" bestirred themselves with generous
zeal and soon produced some eggs, which
one of the sailors broke into saucepan and
placed upon the fire.
CHOW what shall we put with themf'
asked Courbet. "We have neither butter,
lard nor cheese"
Gag ng round the hut, one of the sailors
espied a bunch of mushrooms hanging on
the wall.
In twinkling the mushrooms were seized
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
HOW a woman Reads a Comic Paper.

From the IexaS SllLuSSJ
1t is not often that woman buys comic
paper to read on an elevated car, but when
she does it is curious to observe her. She
looks as solemn as though she were reading
the obituary of a near and very dear friend
She glances at the cartoon on the first page
to commence with, and after a feeble at
tempt to comprehend it she turns to the last
page and reads very carefully an advertise
ment of some new style of corset. Then
she opens anywhere and looks at a comic
picture without reading the accompanying
description, and reads the inscription of
another illustration without looking at the
picture.
She perusss mild squib on women, and her
lip curls with gentle scorn, while her lips
move as though she were saving, "He thinks
he's smart, doesn't hes" She forgets her
momentary resentment, however, in going
over a reading notice (top of column, next
to pure reading matte) of preparation to
beautify the female complexion. She finally
strikes a patent-medicine portrait and tosses
her head as if to say: GIVE seen that pic
ture in lots of papers before and it amt
bit funny Thought this paper claimed to
be original"
After looking in vain for department OF
marriages and deaths, she seems to hesitate
about throwing the paper away or Keeping
it, and finally folds it up carefully and puts
it away in her hand bag, thinking that some
of the smen folks" at home might like to
look at it.
Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-22
Howe & StGtSOn
@ SOLICIT AN
EXAMINATION
Following
Bargains.

case FANCY DRAPERY
SCRIM,in choice styles, Fat 7c a
yard. Same goods we have
been selling at 1oc.
100 doz Gents UNLAUN-
DERED SHIRTS at soc each.
These Shirts are made to our
order from one of the best cot
tons in the market. Fine linen
bosoms, reinforced back and
front, patent facings and all sizes
will measure SO inches in length
We think this is the best Shirt
ever offered at soc.
Just received another case of
our Unlaundried Shirts at 35c
each; usually sold for SOC every
where.
Great bargains in Gents a.
ply LINEN COLLARS at S
dozen.
Gents 4-ply Linen Cuffs, in
three styles, at 15c pair, worth
2oC.
100 doz Ladies Fancy Bor-
dered Hemstitched Handker-
chiefs at SC each. We are sell
ing same quality to-day at ST
dozen.
Bargains in Jersey Waists.
lust received from the manu-
facturer, a large stock of Jer-
seys, all styles and qualities.
We offer special values in all
wool Jerseys at 75c.
GREAT SALE of Ladies'
Cotton Underwear at our pop
ular prices.
Perfect fitting Corset Covers
at II and 12Hc.
Ladies Light Robes (trim-
med) for 25c each. This de-
partment will now be found in
our Annex.
Job lot Fancy Striped Vel
vets at 6ec. These are good
styles and have never been re-
tailed under 81.
Extraordinary Bargains in
Black Henriettas at 75c, 85C,
81, $1.25, $1.35, $I.5o a yard.
Boys Cheviot Waists, all
sizes, for 25c each.
Hamburg Edges for 10, IL II
and 25c. These three lots are
much under price.
DRESS GOODS for 38, so
and SIC. We offer all immense
stock of Dress Goods at these
popular prices. Ladies will
lind goods in the assortment
that are actually worth 75c.
DRESS TRIMMINGS and
BUTTONS. We call atten-
ton to this department, which
is we'll stocked with novelties in
Braids, Gimps, Passementeries,
Buttons, SC. Prices as usual
the lowest.
One case best quality Penang
Shirtings at 12Hc per yard, for
Mems Shirts and Boys Waists.
New lines of Wool Cassi-
meres for Mems and Boys wear
from soc to S. per yard.
New things in HOSIERY.
Handsome Printed Hose for
Ladies wear 25c, and fancy
styles do. at 25c, 371ac, soc,
55c, soc end 75c pair.
Ladies' Silk Hose in Black,
Colored and Opera shades, at
Is a pair.
Silk Hose in Black and OPP
era shades with split feet at CSC
apair.
Black Spun Silk Hose $1.25,
ST. and $3.50.
4-thread Lisle with split feet
in black and colors at SOC per
pair. A real bargain.
Large assortment of Child
ren's Hosiery just opened at
prices ranging from 2oc to soc
a pair, in plain and ribbed
goods; some of the makes have
spliced knees.
Very handsome line of White
Fabrics for Ladies and Child
ren's wear in our Linen Depart
ment.
Also new Towels at 25c, 2oc
and 5oc. Handsome Turkish
Tidy Towels in good assortment
All at usual low prices.