Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1887-03-10
HEaE. AND rlfERE.


endinga bone apart. Boston Transcript. |
Tho woman whose favorite hymn Is 81 |
Tould not live alwasn has spent $3.50 |
or patent medicines during the past ten !
leais NoryistOion Herald.
There are two titles 10 this country
he Electoral Count and Sir Plus. Several
European monarehies would like to have
hslatter. - its'bu,g 0hyonicai Telegraph.
A scientist asserts that it is impossible
70 foros gus through glass. Tins is prob
ably the reason why man quits talking
When he has bottle to his lips. --Nse-
man Independent.
A Maine paper inquiries: sis theremore
money in heels than heads?" Yes, In
politics, where the heelers get all tn.
money and the head msn only get the
honors.- Washington Star.
A man will not submit to being called
either puppy, a hound, or cur, but il
he is pronounced sal dog, he accepts
the stigma as If II were ~ compliment. =
San Ffahcisc, Examiner,
Il is beginning to be admitted that pro.
hibition is failure in Rhode Island.
Anything must be weak that can't be en-.
forced upon territory that you carr
cover with postage stamp.--Attd Cait
J5rnfa.
elm Armenia the bride is not allowed
to speak in the presence Of her husbands
mother" A legend exists that in America
there are times when the husband is not
allowed to speak in the presence of his
wife's mother. n-Nor7ist0H Herald.
We learn from scientific journal that
''all modern high explosives are now
almost universally exploded by the agency
of electricity There is one notable ex-
eeption. Coal oil is still exploded by the
agency of the hired girl and cook stove.
Jersey City Journal.
Little Dick--"I hope Canada and this
country will fght.n Mamma-"You
mustn't talk that way" "Well, / do
hope 50, am I hope this country will get
| licked AAe everything. t'Why. Dick,
what good would that dor" "Then We
wouldn't have no more cod liver oil,
Omaha World.
The BdSGr says that ''dress shirts ara
to be of ribbed goods" We don't know
about the ribs, but what the average dress
shirt seems to need is little more back
bone down the front. What shall II
profit man if he have an eclat hammer
coat and shirt that bulges like paper
bag 2"-Burdette.
Going OF fat Tangent. The Cam
bridge University Boat Club want tn
next Oxford and Cambridge boat-race t.
be started by pistol instead of by word o
mouth. as heretofore. Having regard Il
| the attention which Cambridge ha
always paid to mathematics, il is only il
accordance with the fitness of things tina
| it wants the Fights to be started b,
trigger-nometry = Fanny Folks.
Our host was nearly ninety years old
and fond of Boosting of rasmania's per
feet climate and its conduciyness to Ion
| gevitye 'sBut," objected one of our party
1.-THE ages shown on the tombstones ar
not very great "That may be vel
enough" was the ready reply; ''for, yol
see, we're q young colony, and the oil
ones aren't dead yet. ~ Editors DrGuer
in Hdypsr's Magazine.
They arbitrated.- old tramp VIII
| had agreed to saw wood for half an hou
| for his breakfast from q Baltimor
/ woman quit Mt the seventh stick and said
.Madam, have struck for more break
fast and less wood are you willing to al
bitrate ~ Certainly" she replied, an
| she left the case i'll the hands of her bull
dog, who ran the tramp half mile an
decided that lockout was inevitable
EpchaHge
'Maype hat to fail before spring,
said Pennsylvania merchant to travel
ing salesman who was trying to sell hin
bill of goods. ''But you are wort
$40. 900 and only have $4,000 worth O
stock. Youdhave to pay "a for one if 20
failed Great hefens, yhas it like dot
Veil, den keep right on, and you ma
send me some more sugar und tea I'M
,, coffee. l wait until l yhas worth $10,0
, uud hat $4,000 worth of shtock."-
Wall Street NssOs.
"Have yon got copy of Milton
) | Paradise lost n asked Gilhooly of Hot
, letter McGinnis, one of our Austin aristc
/ Gratis. "What in the world is that ?
i replied McGinnis. Its book, " respor
} ded Gilhooly. "No, sir, have not g
} such book. Whenever | find anythin
/ that is lost return it to the owne,
I When did Mr.. Milton lose his book
/ What reward is he offering for i
! return Y-Ttras SJtin9s
. He was One of Them The subject
temperance was under discussion at
l party N4sn sn ar1el
/ ad7osate If prohibition sskod Gus /
$ Smith b. Hal aeat seen Zen Nigntl
4 Bar-room Gus De Smith replied III
, he had. "How did you like it p "Firs
| rate. was one of them" "What {
d you mean ~ II saw ten Knights
Honor in bar-room down at Galveston
e was one of the Knights myself v Tea
l Sgtings
Mr.. Shabby Genteel s'Will Won
a q kind enough to tell me if it is fact th
: the President has vetoed the Pension Bill
y Gsntleman-"He has, Well If Ii
I country gets intoan other war, just cen
= me out, I'll never risk my life again III Il
/ service of my country Were you hu
! during the war ~ Indeed was, 'sWh
regiment were you in p II wasn't
i any regiment. 1 got the rheumatis
!, from bathing in the st. Lawrence Riy
/ during the second day of the battle
!, Gettysburg. All, sir, those were I
y times that tried mems souls Hayel
:, got surplus dime Tor an old vet, ha
). you ?"-2ecds SJtings.
n 4 $4,000 BOSTON POEM.
d : Ten thousand dollars, Kelly dear,
!. !; Has been sent on to bring you here
I Excuse us If We call you dear
d I oh, diamond gem beyond compare,
p s Mo jewel ever half so rare.
l. : Look out, denr Mike, We humbly beg,
g fou must not must not break leg.
" Z III .onarch of ,iHyers kindly Iist