Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-01-28

Huf per o JOT r tOFLQrI.
The principal reason why there is sueh a
large attendance at the theatres Is that on
the stage viilaIny is punished and virtue is
adequately rewarded. winch 10 sed IN the
case in real life. Most people are lovers Of
justice, and are wiling pay money TO see
it carried out, even if 1t is only on the stage.
One day last week, being DESTROYS of seeing
| a villain puniched,I went early to the theatre,
and got very nice seat in the orchestra. |
had an unobstructed view of the stage Then
the orchestra. Ike candidate on election
day, began gradually to f. up. Then my
trouble began. and, as is usually the csse,
there W as woman At the bottom Of it, NV
trouble wss big tall hat, tho ostrich feather
on the top OF which seemed TO tickle the big
chandelier. There was woman at the bot
tom of this hat, and she sat right in front OF
me, and Distracted my view of the
middle of the stage, where the VILLAIN
rs general thin, gives up the ghost.
| was coBgratulatng myself with the no pc
that the villain Eight possibly perish mlsera-
bly, on the side OF the stage. and I'd have q
chance to gloat over him, when another le-
maze came in and sdt alon gsIde OF the one
already mentioned. she had on hat that
had flower garden on the roof: l. closed out
entirely the view on the left. tulgss toe viii
lain VAS sind enough TO perish on the eX-
IRENE right, my chances oi seeing him draw
his lasl breath were very slim.
saw very little Of what was happening
during the first act. There Wa a man sit
ting next 10 me. | think he WAS from the
West. When the curtain went down. he went
OuI. suffering with rage, the hats having OBJ
slrucIed his view TOO. lie must have been
medium, for he mad = spirit call bet each
act As he passed out he almost kuOCBed the
tall wOmau's hat OF with his eihoW, SDd ne
trod on my toes besides. When he came back
he almost Knocked the Otherhat oG.an walked
about some more on my corn. The Iailes
looked around at him but h. never quaIleI-
such IL the slmu,aIng ea c. Of Glove.
lie was in laxative mood. ana turning TO
me. he said. in a whl,ky-laieu whisper, II
wish the men in the heaJres wOu q put on
their tall his, just TO see how the women
won Il ike IT,
- have read" replied, that some genius
has invented theatre nat that shuts up. the
same to be woru by aides"
"A tall ladies theatre hat that shuts down
would answer the purpose better" said he.
II W. rea'tlng piece IN the paper the other
day that IN CUred women wear hate, in and
ont of doors, which vary IN he ght from 10
feet, an that there has not been a theatr cal
performance in Coreg or the last four y, ars,
don't wonder atlt,' continued the lnebrlate,
wluKing al me.
think the ladies IN front OF us must have
overheard our conversation, for one said TO
the other. evidently taking At us: "Its
pity some genius can't invent something
tnAt viii hold a man IN his seat between the
acts
Yes" replied the other lady: but instead
OF II hat that can be shut up in the thea re,
man who could be shut up would be very de-
slrable.'
me: IAN eminent scIeuti-t attributes tue eN-
traordlnsry longevity Of woman who died
in Boston at the aye OF IA to the fact that she
never wore high hat IN a theatre "
One OF he tall hats bobbed about indig-
nantlv as the owner remarked, The YIgor-
Gus health OF Phad9, phla man, now in MS
one hundredth year. IA due to he fact that ne
never went out between the acts to make as
Economical observations through glass, aud
came back with a breath strong enough to
draw full house"
There is a consolation" remarked the
man from the West, "in case there Ia fire:
the woman with big hat will have II jam
med down over her eyes, and she viii never
get out alive
The woman with the flower garden on the
dome Of her hat was silent for moment, and
shut never lets the public know what an
ignOramus he u.s."
sne mad the Last word, for the Western man
had temporarily exhausted his AMMUNITION.
He made no reply. There were several peo-
pie IN our immediate vicinity who made I'M
complimentary remarks about other people
VINO talk too much in the theatre. One sug-
gested that some pep who brought their
mouths with them TO tue theatre should be
check for them, as is done with umbrellas at
| the art gallery.
/ left the theatre before the performance
WAS over. didn't get to see the ~ re at all.
/ | was daHed by the conversation OF the Weut-
/ ern man, and limp yet from the injuries
ny toes sustained by hls walking about on
them
10 there M way to suppress the three great
| thettrlcAl nusances, VIZ: tall hats, IRE e.
! want conversation, and going out between
| the acts,
RATS" Of the theatres are the dudes
who stand in the entrSnce-cart Prstsefs