The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-15
BRIGHT BITS.

FRENcHaAN in London claims to have dis
covered a certain root which alayS hunger and
thirst. He probably refers to the root of all
evil.-BoSton Transcript.
You have no children, l SUPPOSED" said the
landlord to the prospective tenant
Indeed, noiN was the shrll-yoiced reply, I'm
woman S suffrage advocate. PUCK
AN OLD LADY from up river, on alghting from
the cars, turned and with an inquiring look at
the locomotive said, ''Well, do declare. That
is the first time ever sailed in the cars Bah
gor Commercial.
HETTy HARKINs of Hartford Ct,
Was amazingly proud of her pit,
Which pride to express,
She held up her dress,
And thus fine figure did Ht.-Ltfe.
A LOVELY young lady of Ia.
With her fellow got ready to fla,
But her beau did not come,
And, remaining at home
She still waits for the scandal to de.
Washington Post,
My DEAR, if you don't quit annoying me II
shall really have to move to Mexico" said
Washington man to his wife the other day
What good would that do I'd like to know
There is law there compelling males, and
males only, to wear pantaloons. Washington
Critic.
Flows business?''
''Oh, it's picking up How's yours?"
We'll, mines falling Off"
OOs Nudb rs your business!
''Going over Niagara Falls in barrel. What's
yours?''
I'm a ragpicl1er '-TId-B Bits.
YES said Miss Clara to her bosom friend,
Miss Ethel, II met young Mr.. Folderol last even
ing, and, Ethel, he is perfectly delightful
docs he wear whskers:" inquired Miss
Ethel with equal enthusiasm.
''Whiskers! Why, Ethel, he has such lovely
mutton chops that it makes one hungry to look
at them. "-Harper'S Bdzar
FRENCH PATRIOTISM is indeed extraordinary in
its manifestations A shoprnan arrested in Paris
the other day for robbing his employers of 5000
francs made the following defense before the
Commissaire de Police: IF l took the money it
was all through patriotism. was absolutely in
want of it to get to Noveant to kill Gautsch and
revenge NJ. Schpaebeles London Globe.
A LADY entered a fashionable grocery store in
this city not long since and put this question to
one of the polite attendants: ''What kind of
cheese have you for invalids?" This reminds us
of tall, lank, red-n osed man who came into
country store with a large jug which he placed
upon the counter with the remark: Il want
gallon of rum-babys sick. Boston Gazette
TOUGH lin apothecarys shop)-Say, young
Teller, gimme ten grains o. Strichnine right
away, in big hurry, and don't you forget it.
ClerlS-RAts.
Tough-Now, look a. here, don't want any of
your slang, or I'll jump over there and spoil that
dude collar o. yours in bout four seconds.
He was waited on Immediately .-Harper's
BGzdr.
THE latest addition to the list Of the young
scholars definitions is expressed in the follow
ing sentence of suburban production:
"a constellation of physicians had been sum-
moned.'
At first sight this might be considered a deli
cate tribute to the professional standing of the
medical gentlemen alluded to, but the fact is
that the compliment was wholly Involuntary
Boston Transcript.
THERE is a cruel rumor afoat that Col Broad
water, of Montana, and the Bernhard had an
encounter on Monday. AS the story goes, when
at the Ryan the Colonel has been in the habit of
having parlor assigned to him. This is the
one that the Bernhard had. The Colonel sailed
into it Monday unaware of the divine presence
behind the doors. She jabbered French at him
and the Colonel called up his choicest Helena
verbs and nouns, and politely retired. That was
all, save the blush OF embarrassment that still
clings to the Colonel's checklist. Paul Pioneer