davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
FoolIshness of sae.s.

How silly are the wise peoplel A learned
man, or woman, we can't tell which from the
initials, says in printed letter Of advice TO
young parents: "On no account permit
children to do at one time what you have
forbidden them TO do at another" Oh, come
off, Then because you forbid your boy to
take of his clothes when he goes to school, he
mustn't take them off when he goes to bed
What no, therel Headsman to thy task
IT'S we'll; now bring on the next wise man.
Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
senator Sawyer Knows Good Pine Lands.

aenatOr Sawyer Knows Good Pine Lands
Senator PhiIetus Sawyer is q very close
buyer when he gets into the market 10 pur-
chase pine lands. Usually the man who sells
70 him does not know who the buyer Is. A
few summers ago Philetus was up IN Oconto
county Inspecting some pine, and when be
sounded the owner as to the sale that indivId-
nal, an old man with grizzly hair ana whis-
kers, hauled out a newspaper containing a
wood cut Of Sawyer, looked at it closely and
then at the stranger, and said:
~You be old Sawyer Blamed if haven't
been looking for you for these three years.
This land amt for sale. Pine that Sawyer
wants is pine, and III just keep this here
patch to hand down as a heirloom TO my chill
dren"
No trade was made and the price Of pine
land in that region rose Immediately there
after, something that does not take place very
often in Wisconsin until after Sawyer has
made his purchase Chicago Herald.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
ouR BABY.

PIaURArrvELV DESCRIBED BIZ BIS LITTLE sIsTzz-
Our baby Is a der rare;
Hes awful cunning, :,
And well his worth ) pays the share
of work 4 him do.
I hope he VIII sur0. although
Hes squeezed almost 70 death;
It makes him 8 sometimes. I know.
And takes away his breath
Our home Is lsfnoe there came
The angel from aboves
Hes 50 arectionS. His name
Is "Toorsey Wootsey Love"
He makes our papa look bel
And feel l0der joy;
Ipray he never VIII incline
aBA0E boy.
When he's awake his eyes are blue;
lift nina when can;
He'll 3 2S0412
Lift up when he's man.
H c. DodgF in GOOdal-s Sun.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
LIE In the Northwest.

Dakotan-Husband home, Mrs. Burgess1
Mrs. Burgess-No, but I expect be viii be
in day or two. We're going to have a
thaw, you know.
Dakotan-Where is John7
Mrs. Burgess-Over in that second snow
drift yonder. / sent him on an errand two
weeks ago, and that was all the far he got
Poor mani shouldn't wonder if he'd begun
to get discouraged by this time-Tit Bits
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
Panic VS.. Tonic.

dads kinder weak this mornin' IN he
wants something that will act as a sort of
panic" said Johnny Gubbins to the druggist,
as he handed out the regulation half pint
bottle The druggist thought of the old mans
unpaid account, and after filling the bottle
with the poorest brand of whisky he added a
few drops of croton oil, and the old man had
3 panic under his breast that doubled him up
like jack knife.-DanvilIe IN. Y Breeze
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
Best in the Market.

Little Dot-Mamma, was 1 ever little
baby like my dolls
Omaha Mamma--Why, Of course, pet.
"Did l go to sleep sometimes and be awake
sometiInesF
eyes"
"Guess you was glad when you found you
had e baby what could open and shut it's
swn eyes. w ashington Critic.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
The Wrong Mans Deal.

It is Mr. Blumenthal's deal, and Mr. Cohen
polishes his glasses hurriedly with view TO
making a careful survey Of the shuttle. Mr..
Blu1nenthaTs friend, Mr. DinkeIstein, consid-
srs it an appropriate occasion for e remark:
Mister Cohen, I heart you vas a Good chudch
of diamonds. Win you ginGy look at dis
chenuine blue yite. seffen CARAT COX
guse me, = replies Mr.. Cohen without remov-
ing his eyes from the pack, Il gifts no atten-
ton to diamonds on Chakey BIumenthars
deal 1 vas I0o1in' for CLUBS. New York
Sun
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
III Deserved Fame.

Omaha Husband-WeH, 1 told you my
friend De Grand was wonderful man. Now
what do you think of him!
Omaha Wife-He's a fool
"Fool! Why he is one Of the most famous
scientists Of the day"
"Hes born idiot"
"How can you talk 500"
"He thought this precious little treasure
was a boy and she's most a month old -
Omaha World.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
Take the Mint.

Oh, Patti, thy great fame eclipse,
No mortal ever can;
We flock and worship thee upon
The European plan
Come back and visit us again,
In all our want and stint;
One item Marcus overlooked
Come back-and get the Mint.
San Francisco Wasp.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
Dogmatic Philosophy.

Layman-So you believe in the infallibility
of the pope, do youl
Churchman--I think there is much in the
doctrine that is cOmmendable l have noticed
that many Of the utterances of his holiness
agree With my own-I4OweIl Citizen.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
rnfavorab1e Conditions.

Sitter Gn position for photography the
way, what DO you charge for Photographic
Photographer-Nin dollars the half dozen.
Now let your eyes rest naturally on that sign,
Terms Cash, and look pIeasant.-New York
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
Their Ideas Were Identical.

Mistress-Bridget, I don't think it is proper
for you to entertain men in the kitchen.
Bridget-Yez be roight, mum, but there
was some one in the parlor already. Life
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
A Colorado Case.

The Widow three years. Larmier-Atti-
Gus, I-er-intend to tighten my mourning
after Lent, and I'm afraid your color is a
little too dark for the-er-circumstanc
So, if you know of another one of your race
several shades lighter, think you could get
place with poor dear Mrs. Lightfoot, who
has just lost Mr.. L.. so we can all be nicely
accommodated.-Life.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
HOW to Treat a Kerosene Lamn.

A country subscriber writes to ask chow
TO treat a kerosene lamp" 1t is the usual
custom to treat a lamp to oil. Very few
lamps, we believe, care for beer or whisky
New York Graphic
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
The dissatisfied Wall.

The dissatisfied Wall
Soon the frost viii have taken
It's grip from the earth,
And the spring time awaken
Birds, flowers and mirth;
No more on the paving
Wen drop with thud;
Instead, we'll be raving-
Great Caesar, what mudl''
Boston Budget.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02
She Trusted the Lord.


First Christian Lady-Ise gwine ter clutch
to tank de Laud dey amt no mo- erfquakes.
Amt yo' gwine, too. my sister2
Second Lady-No, no, my sister, no
gwinel VIII you attend de brick clutch?
First Lady-De brick clutch fo' tru', but
don yo' trus' de Laud9
Second LADY, trus' de Laud, aw my sis
ter, I trus' UNI, but neber fool wild um-
Life.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-02

A precocious youth, prompted by an I'M
pleasant recollection of the last term, says
that school teachers are like dogs: They lick
your hands" This carries off the palm
Texas SiftiDCS
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-02-05
"Ruchu.Paiba.' %

Quick, complete cure, all annoying,
Kidney, Bladder, aud Urinary Diseases.
81. at druggists. 8
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-02-05

USE the Arnold OJoser and Cofee
Pot
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-02-05

bill: THAT it will be unlawful for any
member of either house of Congress TO
accept employment as attorney-at- law
or payment for services of any kind in
opposition to the United States in
any case to which the United
States may be a party, or
in which the interests may be con-
cerned or from any railro I'd company,
if such member shall have reasonable
cause to believe that the N asures
specially affecting the interests of su h
company are pending before Congress,
or are about to be so pending during
bis term of Office. Any person who
violates the provisions of this act shall
be guilty of a misdemeanor, and may
be punished By imprisonment not ex-
ceeding one year, or ~ fine not evcee i
ing $500, or by both in the discretion of
the court.
The Senate adjourned until to-
morrow.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
,.o. Angeles. Produce market.

The following is the oficial record Of the
Los Angeles Produce Exchange, corrected
daily. In the quotations, unless otherwlse
agure is the highest price bid and the last
the lowest price asked. These quotauons
are for round lots from first hands; for
small lots out OF store higher prices are
wHEAT-No quotation.
OATS-No quotation.
RYE-$1. so asked:
RARLEY-Feed No. 81 bid.
CORN--Ls'ge Yellow, carload lots, s,'lo
asked; Small Yellow, carload !o's' sLio
FLoUR-Pioneer and Crown $3.50 asked ;
L. A. XXXX Ex. Pat. Roll, 600; Capitol
mi Mill LIFE ;FFEED-Bran, .2l asked; shorts, s2s
asked; Cracked Barley, 81. 20 as ked Ground
barley. o. 20 asked; Rolled Barley. 'l'2o
GRAIN sAes-Grain Bags Ms, 22xsS. e1fc
sses sssss ssS ssSsd iPSs sscs Sc
SEED-Alfslfa. new. 90 asked.
HAY-5arley. W B No. /. $3.50 asked;
Alfalfa, $3.50 asked.
POTATOES Early Rose, Los AngeIes
new, .65 snowflake ,65c bid; newpotatoes, Csc
az rTER-Fancy Roll, $50 per 70 asked.
Choice Roll, 20c per 10 asked; Fair Roll,
per fb, 19c asked; Mixed Store, JOG per 10
asked; Picked roll, new. 2Sc; hrkin' per
CHEEsE-Large, 1oc asked; small, lie
asked; small 3tb hand, l212c;,
EGGs-Eggs, fresh. 2sc bid, Soc asked.
HONEY-Extracted light 41l@Shc; Am
ONIONS-New, S5c.
BEESWAX-Beeswax, 1ec@2oc
VEGETABLES MIXED-Chiles per n, l2c
bid; Garlic &c asked; Cabbage per loo IDS
OBsiEANs AND DRIED PEAs-Pink Mol
new crop, sl.66 asked; Lima, S226(92.5o
Navy. small. 500 asked BLACK s, eyed
asked Gsrvanzos sn.,Is % ssied :, a ssSsa Sles,
"IS "IPoufITRY|Hens No 1. per dos. $3.50 bid
old BOOSTERS, per dozen. $500 bid Yount
BOOSTERS ao5 y n;S sS0U s1d nes srGsTs oHan
81. so bid; Ducks, per dozen. large. g. 90 90
bid: Ducks, small, s40 90; Turkeys, per ID
: I7c. Geese, each, $1.00.
LIVE sT9GKTLiys aNss; s,,,% SoSas. tss<c asked
Biackberries, 1211c asked; Prunes. Cal
r French new crop, loc9l5c; Prunes, Cal
German, Sc asked; Aprioots, evaporated
iAnP AnnPPIEsNsun dried, sliced, SC asked.
RAISIN5-Iayers, Si.5o asked; Ex Lon
don Layers. new; Sl75 asked; Three Crow
, Law 1re, new, s1.75 asked: Loose Muscatel
l.5o; Bulk Raisins. SO asked. Dried grapes
NUTS-Peanuts, Gal. No. 1, Go asked; do
, mo, 3. 80 asked; do Eastern, 7]lc asked; Al
monds. s. s.. 1sc asked; Almonds, n 8, l0c
: CITRUS FRUITS = Oranges. 25o asked
Lemons, seeding per box, $3.50 Lem
3 ons. Eureka and Lisbon per box. $S.60 asked
HIDES : Dry, 16c bid, Kip. 15c bid
Oalf, 1910 bid. Culls H less.
SKINS-Short wool, each, 16c030c; Loni
= wool, each, 81 bid; shesrlings, each, 10
bid.
WoOL-spring Clip. per fb, 10c(0i3c bid.
: PROVISI0NS-Extrs light bacon, clear
! l3c asked; Light clear, i2z5c asked; Cies
asked; heavy bacon SC.
, LARD-4Oib ID tins, &c per lb; SID pals, ~
per lb; 5lb pals, 911c PEI lb; 10lb pals, sA
. pHAMS-Eastern sugar cured, l5c.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
The Ex.State Printers Reply

The Ex.State printers Reply.
Col. Ayers, ex-State Printer, has re.
piled through the Los Angeles HERALD
to the Chronicles charge that the school
books had cost so much more than
the estimate that the State will
he q heavy loser by the transac-
ton. Col. Ayers does not refer to
the management of the office since he
left it. but shows that under his admin
istration the increased cost of some is
sues of books was caused by the State
Bard of Education in the way of
increased number of pages and
more substantial binding. These
changes may or may not have
been an the interest of economy in the
long run, but whether they were or not,
the State Printer cannot justly be held
responsible for the greater cost of larger
aud better bound books, unless the in.
crease is out of proportion to the charge.
While it is at all times desirable to
check extravaganza in public expendi.
tures, the fact that the first issue of
books should have cost little more
than the estimate is not to bs regarded
~ conclusive evidence of dishonesty or
1nc8paC,Ly. Inc saIne experience
comes to some of our shrewdest bust.
ness men in their private affairs. 1t
often costs more to set business
in motion than a careful estimate had
indicated. Especially when there is a
disposition to do everything well the
tendency of expenditures to increase as
the work progresses is almost irrepressi-
BILE. Public affairs are exposed to like
influences. Almost everything the
public has done costs more than the es-
innate. After a long explanation of
matters in the form of tables of figures,
the piih of Mr.. Ayerss reply is in the
following: ''lf the state had lost money
by publishing the school. ol.books-which
it has not--eyen then it would be money
we'll lost, for it has lifted from the
shoulders of the heads of families, es-
pecially, Que of the most onerous and
vexstious mouopolies that ever fastened
itself upon a people. "-[San Francisco
Call
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Attempted Robbery.

Even the footpads are becoming num-
erous and seemingly care little whether
they operate in the early evening or late
at night. A man, whose name the police
di not obtain, yesterday reported that
he had been attacked on Friday night
shortly after 0 O'Clock by two men on
Olive street, between Ninth and Tenth
streets. He was going home, when one
of the men sprang at him and struck him
with sand bag on the side of the head.
The blow did not injure him very Sc.
verely and he jumped back and felt for
his knife. One of the men then told him
to hand over his money, but seeing that
he did not intend to do SO, the one who
had the sand bag drew a revolver and
firing one shot at him turned and fed.
The ouly effect of the encounter was a
large lumr/ on the mans head.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
- M. HALE d. co.
DRY: GOODS SLAUGHTER !
H A LE7S-

Our ANNUAL SUMNER Wednesday, July 6th
and promise eclipse anything done in the Dress Goods
will be Slaughtered Domescs Gnghms Caos White Goods will be
Slaughtered Gloves will be Slaughtered Genemen Furnishing Goods
will be Slaughtered Ladies' and Cen Hosiery will be Slaughtered
Great Clearance Sale Slaughter Ha Wednesday, July 9Th Fourth
of july celebrated es, Wednesday, July 9th No POEMS to be
read Historical Marathon Reading the Declaration ndepend
ehearsng Patrick Henry Henry Cs Freedom Speeches.
but something better Macess bargains appreciated by ALL The ruins
Pompe the world greater surprises than will the
Great Clearance Sale M Hale Co.'s the people Los Angeles
and suburban villages Examine appended list make with
merchandise offered other investing
where will three hundred the day. Don't wait
influx OF VISITORS and tell friends
when they come, where get the for the least
WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, JULY
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
.&tea nler Departures.

TS6 following passengers left yester.
da( ION the steamer Queen Of Pacific:
kFor San Diego-Geo P Wilson. J F
>Reinhardt. w. A. Thayer, +. A. Fuller
and wife, X A Giese, 4 s Dement,, Mrs
rs Martin, Miss G Rochester, Jas An
derson, Logan Martin. E L Owen, wife
aud two children, e r Pertle, J A Per-
lie. wife and two children, Miss Sara G
Resue, NJ w Stewart and wife, John 7
Lopg, EO Wright and wife, c 6eeley
end vile, 4 E'Rochester, and three in the
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look al This.

Two hundred yards Figured Nuns Veil.
ing, three-fourths wool, at 12< cents per
yard. Reduced from 20 cents to close out.
Two hundred yards Figured Nuns Yelling,
three iourths wool, at 121 cents per yard.
Reduced from 20 cents. Three pieces Linen
Lawn included with this line. Worth 25
cents Two hundred yards at l21a cents per
yard. Reduced from 20 cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look At This.

wo hundred yards All-Wool Pin Stripe
U nfinisheo Albatross at rs cents per yard
Worth so cents. Reduced from so cents.
Great Bargains in Dress Goods. Four or
five patterns to select from. Forty inches
wide, and worth so cents. Dress Goods must
go. Two hundred yards All-Wool Pin Stripe
Unfinished Albatross Dress Suitings at rs
cents per yard. Reduced from so cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This,

Five hundred yards All-Over Brocade
Wool LACE SUITINGS at rs cents per yard.
Worth rs cents. In a good assortment of
colors and very stylish. Nothing later in
Dress Suitings Forty inches wide, and
worth rs cents Dress Goods must 60. Five
hundred yards All-Over Wool Lace suitings
at % cents per yard.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This.

Ten dozen. 6, s and 10-button length Unl
dressed Mosqritaire Kid Gloves at so cent
per pair, to close out this line. Worth $l.0(
s1.25 and sl,5O. Ten dozen Ladies' 6. s an
10.button length Undressed Mosquitail
Kid Gloves at so cents per pair. Reduce
from 81. 90, Sl.25 and $1.60.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
!. M. HALE & CO.,
Wednesday, July G. and 9 Spring Street.
Look at This.

One thousand yards Mohair Alpaca Dress
Suitings, in French Grey Shades at I5 cents
per yard. Reduced from 25 cents. Reduced
from 25. Cannot be excelled for Street sp.
parel, Seashore dresses ami Mountain wear.
Will not hold dust nor dirt of any kind
Will not spot easily. One thousand yards
Mohair Alpaca Dress Suitinss, in French
Gray Shades, at Is cents per yard.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This.

Three hundred yards Aberdeen Plaid
Dress Suitings at % cents per yard. Re-
duced from so cents. to close out Large
plaids, and makes up very prettily. tx
ceedingly stylish. Three hundred Iyard
Aberdeen Plaid Dress Suitings at IS cents
per yard. Reduced from so cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This.

Five dozen Knitted shawls at so cents
each. Reduced to close out the line, from
rs and 90 cents, Several colors to select
from. Five dozen Knitted shawls at so
cents each.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03

II you want good appetite drink Dami.
ana Bitters. Michel Levy d Co., wholesale
liquor dealers. agents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This,

One thousand yards 3e-.nches wide Csehl
meres at l2l< cents per yard. Reduced ftlm
25 cents. Eight or ten different colors to
select from, and cannot be excslled for
street wear. Dress Goods must 60. Look at
'his. One thousand yaids s6-inches wide
Cashmeres, in good assortment of colors,
at 121-2 cents per yard, Reduced from Is
cents. Reduced from 25 cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at IhiS.

One thousand yards All-Linen Crash at
cents per yard. Reduced from 8h cent?.
Same quality as 7cent goods, only narrower.
One thousand yards All-Linen Crash at 5
cents per yard. Reduced from SO cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This. Look at This. Look at This:

Two thousand yards Dress nghams yard Always
sold and 1913 Beautiful designs and large plain broken
p colors and shades Don't let this opportunity without
purchasing Dress; - yards at yadS4 for Dress
Two thousand yards Dress Gnghams
Worth and l2a Two thousand yards Dress Gnghams
yard. Worth and l2t
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This.

One thousand yards All-Linen, Ext
Wide Crash at cents per yard. RedQ
from 10 cents. One thousand yards
Linen Extra-Wide Crash at 2 cents per
Reduced from 10 cents. Made from the
quality White Flax. One thousand
al cents per yard.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
Look at This.
Look at This.

One hundred dozen Gentlemen'l
Neck Ties at 10 cents per dozen. Y
cents. Worth 25 cents. One hundrf
Gentlemen's White Neck Ties at
per dozen. Worth 25 cents.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03

Fine lot on Figueroa street, at barga in
for few days only.
Fine Residence on north side of Orange
street, with a new, modern.built house of
ten rooms. with bath, water, sewerage, and
a good barn. Lot is 75x275 feet. Price,
$4,000 The best bargain in the city.
Two choice lots, with a nice Cottage of
six rooms, on the corner of Lucas and Ar
mold streets. with fine view. Price, $65OO.
special chance to buy cosy home at a
reasonable price.
Four acres or is lots on Iona Drive, with
modern-built Cottage of six rooms, with
bath, etc. Price, $4,000.
Lois in Angeline Heights. at $500 each.
Hill and Third street, opposite First Con-
gregational church-lot 50 feet square.
Lot on Washington street, nearly opposite
Magnolia avenue. with 5-room cottage.
Choice Figueroa street lots.
Hill streets. between Tenth and Eleventh
streets.
Lot in Workman's subdivision; size OF
lot. 50x150 to alley; 5000.
Olive street. between Ninth and Tenth
streets--los 50xl50 to twenty.foot alley.
Price, $4,000.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03
p.,n,,.,,on os the heart.

Persons who suffer from occasional pal.
pitation of the heart are often unaware that
they are the victims of heart disease. and
are liable to die without warning. They
should Danish this alarming symptom and
cure the disease by using DR.. Flint's Heart
Remedy. At all druggists, or J. J. Mack
Co., Q and IL Front street. San Francisco.
Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-03

The Atchtson, Topeka and san.
Ia Ee
Railroad will run very close to Manzanita
Heights. Three street railroads are push
ing out that way and the lots in that local..
ty win be very valuable withipg q short
could be bought for $500 each. Now they
are worth $500. Remember this and buy
lot in Manzanita Heights. Lots are from
800 to $500 each. Billings q McGown, ~
N Spring street.