The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1887-07-28

Mr.; Doodovey Vellum, Pslionosa Flats, New
Yes, everything. 8.
Everything went. When Mr.. Vellum
descended from the train 1T Beeswax
Junction late in the following afternoon,
he wore silk underwear, neat silk dress
shirt, q silk necktie, silk stockings, silk
mixed diagonal suit, silk hat, silky mus.
tache, and manners that were soft and
silken in the extreme.
The old gentleman, though eccentric,
was none the less keen on that account.
He desired Symmetry to have husband
who could love her deeply, and in conse-
quence, cherish and tenderly care for her.
He had no sentiments-the old electri-
clan. He looked upon vital force as
merely a form Of electrical force. He re-
garded the human body simply as a COM
plex machine, and all its acts, of thought
and sentiment, as well as muscular mo-
ton, as purely electrical phenomena. He
believed that any mans emotional capac-
ity was directly proportioned to his pos
session of latent nerve force. Conse-
quently he calmly and resolutely had
determined to let Mr.. Vellum WOO Sym
metry to the full of his wishes, but he
proposed to know exactly how much he
actually loved her by keeping track ofthe
process with his galvanometer.
His plan was simply this: Mr.. Vsllum,
while making love, should be insulated
and should be the connecting link be-
tween two positive and negative wires,
which wires should run from the arena of
loves young dream, the beautiful twi-
light stiffness of the garden, into the
matter-of-fact seclusion and the unsenti-
mental surroundings of Mr.. When's H.
brary. This was why he had insisted on
silk clothing, because he wanted to give
Mr.. Vellum every show, and silk was the
best conductor in the list OF fabrics Con-
sequently, having given his consent, he
fitted up two stationary stuffed cloth
chairs beneath spreading elm, just
where a colonnade of beautiful trees led
away to the moonlit surface of a sleeping
silver lake. 1t was beautiful place for
mans heart, beating with all the high
hopes and pure and ennobling ambitions
Of manly love, to expand itself. 1t was
also first-class locality to bring out all
the sympathetic electricity there was in
him, thought the old gentleman as he
surveyed his work and chuckled The
chairs were similar and were placed
side by side quite close together. The
only difference between them was that
Mr.. Vellum's had two narrow strips of
brass running down the back and across
the seat of the chair outside of the wool
en- upholstery. From these slips two
fine No. IL copper wires led down the
chair legs, up the trunk of the elm, along
branch, across the lawn to the portico,
around the corner of the house, through
the library window and connected with
the positive and negative poles of Mr..
When's galvanometer The chairs stood
on the platform, which appeared to be of
rough wood, but was really large plate
of rough glass. Mr.. Vellum, when he
obeyed the promptings of his deep affec-
ton, would be absolutely insulated with
the exception of the brass strips which he
would infallibly touch whichever way he
sat and thereby complete the circuit.
Every ohm of vital electricity set free by
the psycho-physiological reactions Of his
developing sentimental perturbation
would therefore directly seek an equili-
brium in the wires. If he pretended to
love Symmetry and the galvanometer
reading was against him, the old man
proposed to set the dog on him without
delay.
By dusk on Saturday evening Symme-
try was waiting, in the tender trying con
fict of a young girls heart, for her lovers
step. She knew something of the plan.
She was perforce party to it. She did
not dare to tell Mr.. Vellum for fear her
father had some unearthly machine by
which he would catch her at it. Dressed
in snowy null, with the velvet blush of
the unfolding rose upon her cheek, she
was as gentle, as perfect, and as fair as
some women are who make the biblical
angel rational supposition. Dressed
half an hour too early she came down
stairs and stole softly and alone into the
dark library where the galvanometer,
with it's cold polished face Of convex glass,
it's shining nickel rim, its circular scale,
with the fine degree marking, and it's thin,
almost invisible needle, lay silent upon
her fathers desk. Who can tell what
loving hopes and tender fears were hers
as she gazed timidly upon that delicate
thing Of metal and Of glass upon which
all ber life happiness depended? Who
can tell the unexpressed longing that
came to her as she wished it were only a
pug dog or policeman or anything that,
by a woman's diplomacy, she could win
over to her cause. But no! 1t was cold
and quiet and beyond her. But she
leaned over impulsively and kissed it ;
kissed 1t warmly and eagerly upon it's face
as all the love in her heart outshone.
The needle trembled slightly in gallant
recognition. That was all.
Mr.. Vellum arrived duly and was ush-
cred in by Symmetry to her father. The
old man eyed him sharply while they ex-
changed few commonplaces and Vellum
fondly imagined that the searching glance
was probing deep into his moral character,
but it wasn't 1t was directed entirely at
his underclothes. Itwas little awkward
to ask a stranger about his underwear,
particularly when he had not been five
minutes in the house. Notwithstanding
this, however, the old man was several
times on the verge of it, and Symmetry
was in mortal terror. She was 80 nervous
| that she could neither talk nor slt still.
She rose to her feet.
"Mr. Vellum, wouldn't you
like to take a walk in the garden she
asked nervously." at is beautiful to see
the moon rising over the galvanometer. -"
&c The which p asked Mr.. Vellum,
sghast.