The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1887-01-01
But the last one had turned the csrucr
Free Press.
The Fatal Folding Bed.

inc Eatai JOlOtnE BED.
An expression of profound gloom on
the face OF q friend led to inquiries which
elected tale of sorrow and SUFFERING
"Do look mournful9' he asked. '.Uo
/ bear the appearance of a man who,e
soul has been entered by the iron of nd.
versity! Well, that's the way feel
You know, moved day before YES
tcrday. Well. hurt by the unfee ing re-
marks OF my late landlady and the fact
that she retained my trunk las a gage
d'amour, suppose) / sought the scci1.
sion Of West side boarding house. The
room is pc isant and the man who occu-
pie, the other half very nice fellow.
Night before last went home early, aud
when ready my new chum boldly ap-
preached an innocent looking piece OF
furniture, and after a little sparinc
for time let in with right and left
and brought to view q comfortable
bed. / had never seen q folding bed
before, and was little astonished.
However, Imade no remarks but turned
in. Last night my chum was out, and
l didn't know what to do. / loafed
around the room, now and then casting
a glance at the folded bed and admirine
it, compactue;s and air of gentility, but
somehow did not feel like tackling it
all by myself. But it had to be done. l
remembered that my ctum had first
lifted the top. l did that. But when |
let go it came back with a slam that
started the baby owned by the second
floor front into a wild symphony of woe.
Then / sat down and thought. To gain
time on the bed | undressed. Say, did
it strike you as chilly last night MOI
Well, it was. Indeed, it was cold. The
combination of that fact and my abbre-
waited costume urged me to renew the
attack. This time pushed the top past
the center of the spring, and when re-
leased it went on with noise loud
enough to arouse the pug in the room
across the hall. By that time was reck-
less. 1 seized strap and pulled. The
whole thing began to come. l strapped
it half way and considered. Considering
was hard work. So was holding. I
pulled. 1t came, and 1 went. But
didn't 90 far enough, and the bed caught
ME. | was underneath. The Charleston
man On the floor below dreamed he was
at home.
swell, when got out and took an in
ventory, was minus considerable skin,
but the accession of my eyebrow bal
anced things. The bed was oren, but
the middle was way below the average.
But l was too impatient to be particular.
With considerable emphasis l turned out
the gas and rolled in. As soon as I hit
the bed it shut up-that is, as close as it
could. 1t was close enough. For about
ten minutes l would have snapped
places with any one of the seven anar-
chists and given him odds. When I got
out of that place there was not enough
left of the ed-clothes to make a respect
able bandage. know, because tried
it. What l suffered you will never
know
"This morning the landlady informed
me, that had she known was subject to
delirium tremens, she would have re-
fused the admittance that gave me o
chance to ruin tie reputation of her
boarding house. Ash left the house the
boardcrs poKed their heads out and whis-
pered That's him; he had 'em bad last
night, and similar encouraging remarks.