The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-07-28
MY QUEER LEGACY.

. = q q
81 am avery eharp-sighted man.
am also diffident. My difidence has
stood in my way throughout my life,
It isso horribly apparent; and it is
probably through my unfortunate
diffidence that have so few friends.
hardly know soul at my club out
side the card room, where it used to
be my custom to play four rubbers Of
whist every afternoon. The card.
room at the Rice and Curry Club,
when was 4 useless member Of sd.
ciety, was my idea Of perfect bliss
there were NO draughts there. no
noises, no disturbing influences. Last
year some of the Radical reformers-
for we have Radical reformers even at
the Rice and Curry-succeeded in in
troducinga ridiculous innovation. In
the memory of the Oldest member, no fe:
male form. during club hours at least;
was ever known to desecrate that great
monastery OF Oriental dervishes, the
Rice and Curry. But they made an
absurd addition to the rules last year.
| Ladies are allowed to partake of re-
freshments in the strangers dining
room at the Rice and Curry. if accom-
panied by q member, during certain
hours of the afternoon. The strang.
ers' dining-room at the Rice and Cur
~, II accompanied by a member dur
ing certain hours of the afternoon.
The strangers dining-room is a grue-
some apartment, and I don't think
the ladies have much to be thankful
for. With this new-fangled exception,
| am happy to say that the Rice and
Curry is still free from any disturbing
influence.
am by no means brilliant whist
player. object to the ''Peter," and
look upon it as a form of swindling: it
may be q prejudice, 1t probably is.
You will agree that am not bril-
liant whist player when say that my
losses at the game, though Inever bet,
certainty used to cost me G2OO q
year. That was a very serious mat
ter to me then, for it WAS before
came a busy man and philan-
thropist.
1t is of the strange manner of my
coming into the fortune, and of my
becoming philant hropist, that am
about to tell. Philanthropist, like
dram-drinking, is an affection that
grows on one; I. whose summum
bonum was a quiet rubber, am now a
rabid philanthropist. This is how it
came about.
Though l am very difident man,
Campbell was certainly more retiring.
n M ,1o1i ,>o1,ot-~.>A
do not mean that he sold crOckery,
but he had been head of a great mer-
camille firm III China, and in China he
had made his money. 1 had never
spoken to Campbell in my life; he was
a sad-looklng man, very taciturn,
but he used to smoke uncommonly
good cigars. He used to sit on one
side OF the fireplace, on the other,
and there we sat and smoked far into
the night. After several years, we
used to nod to each other, but we
never spoke; that would have been
quite contrary to the etiquette at
the Rice and Curry. Wugsby-a most
Objectionable person, who looks upon
himself as the club wit and keeps a
little manuscript book of Jokes, in
which he notes down anything anus
ing that he may pick up, and proba-
bly, afterwards passes it off as his
own-said that Campbell and l re-
sembled the two statues at the gate
of BedIam, Melancholy and Raving
Madness. OF course he meant to hurt
my feelings, but he failed; for took
the Melancholy to myself, in which
there is nothing degrading, and put
the Raving Madness down to Camp
bell. Possibly Campbell did as l did.
AS l have said l am very sharp
sighted, sat staring at Campbell as
he smoked in silence. I had been in
that chair for about two hours, and
when say that l had just ordered
my second whiskey.and.soda, it will
be seen that am not q drinking man.
Campbell is old-fashioned, and always
shows large expanse of shirt-front.
We're my eyes deceiving me? They
never yet had deceived me, those sharp
eyes of mine. But there could not be
@oubt of it; an insect was slowly,
very slowly, crawling up Campbell's
shirt-front. It will be quite sufficient
when Iveil the vulgar name of that in.
sect by saying that the name of GER
tain musical note expressed it's char
acter. I would have Travelled with
Campbell in the same carriage from
London to Edinburgh, or from
Southampton to Bombay in the same
P. and 0. boat, without speaking to
INN. But this was not a moment for
half measure.
II beg your pardon" said; "don't
move, but there's-er-a something
on your Shirt"
Campbell lowered his eyes; he moved
the Objectionable thing and thanked
me, but he did so in q careless sort of
way, as though the finding of objec-
tionable things on his shirt-front was
a common occurrence, an every day
affair. was naturally surprised at
his taking the thing so cody.
ave ought to send for the stewart
at once!" said, in my natural in
dignation. Good CAD, sir, the places
is, perhaps, infested"
Don't excite yourself" replied
Campbell, ''it's my fault; I get them
in my work"
"Good gracious!" WAS all I could
utter in my horror and establishment;
and then did very stupid thing-I
u11A1HcoCcu curiosity. Az Ille nlC0 ana
Curry to manifest curiosity In any
thing whatsoever is looked upon as
the very worst of bad form.
"Ah," l said interrogatively, "you
60 in for old furniture and things of
that sort, eh?'
"No," said Campbell, II bring them
from the East End
Hooked round the room for wit
ness to this horrible confession. Talk
of disturbing influences! Here was q
man who boosted in cold blood that
he brought disturbing influences OF
the most abominable kind into the
club smoking-room. For once in my
life my diffidence vanished. Ifelt that
was called upon to perform a duty,
that the eyes of the fourteen hundred
and ninety-eieht other members
would look to me to do that duty,
and instantly determined to sum-
mon a general meeting, and to pro-
pose Campbelrs immediate expul.
sion.