The National tribune., 1887-09-08

Shyly away into dim obScurity, ike some DELI
cate flower closing its petals at shutdown. So
he began to refuse the hash that was poked
through his cell door three times q
day, with the announced determination
Of starving to death before the day of execu-
ton. He felt that he had perfect right to do
this. If he did not choose to eat whose bust
ness was it2 But the domineering turnkey in
terfered, and threatened that if he did not eat
what was set before him, he would "call in a
couple of doctors and pump grub into ye." Mr..
Montgomery has therefore yielded to superior
force and craft and consumes his daily rations.
But he must feel rejoiced that he is so soon to
quit world in which people are so ready to
Cypress poor man who is in trouble.
They tell story on a wealthy lady at White
Sulphur Springs that, being taken i'll suddenly,
she sent for her physician TO come in haste
and bring his epidemic syringe"
The King Of Bavaria has been declared in
sane. This is the second time within few
years that the people of Bavaria have had to de-
clare that their monarchs did not have sense
enough to last them through the day. If the
"grace OF God F." makes those fellows kings, the
grace of God ought to certainly give them an
average stock of fair to middling brains.
WIfs-"I never had such an awful sick head
ache since was born. did not sleep wink
for it the livelong night"
Brute Of Husband" You are mistaken, my
dear. When 1 came to bed you were sleeping
quite soundly."
Rge-"Why didn't you waken me, then?
You know never can sleep when I'm in
such agony"
Awhile ago the Concord On. H. People and
Patriot in speaking enthusiastically Of certain ex
soldier, was made by the intelligent composition
to call him battle-scared veteran" / re-
member another paper once that made the
blunder. In trying to correct its mistake, the
next day, it called its friend bottle-scarred
veteran" Then the aforesaid warrior called
around and solemnly threatened to shoot the
editor if he said anything more about him.
Managing Editor 10 Assistant" Le' me see,
Mr.. Jones; you were in the army short time
during the war, weren't you?"
Mr.. Jones" No. sir; didn't believe in the
hellish crusade to rob Southern people Of their
property and take away their independence, SO
1 went to Canada"
Managing Editor-You did quite right. Well
1 wish you'd give US a leader to-day on Lack
of Patriotism in the GAR" and make it q
scorcher."
Mr.. George, as soon as your Anti-Poverty
plan gets into good working operation, will
you not give the comrades in the poorhouses
and the Soldiers Homes show at it2 They
are getting along in years, and cannot wait as
well as they could quarter Of a century ago.
The great want Of the country just now j;
the formation Of Don't-Meddle- With-the
GAR. Society" among its politicians. The
more politicians that can be got into this SO
ciety the better it will be for everybody.
Botanical Student-Yes. so far as we know, the
only bark that comes from the inside is a dogs
The power Of the press is something wonder
full. There is no telling what effect few
words Of advice in a newspaper may have
Awhile ago a Baltimore paper earnestly
urged the young men of the city mot to waste
their time" Now we read that Baltimorear
only % years old has married five wives in diff
ferent parts Of the country, killed man in
duel and deserted from the Regular Army three
times.
If the Canadians will only prohibit our hood
lers from coming within three miles of thei
boundaries much of the fishery offending vii
be forgiven.