Telegram-herald., 1887-09-20

vasse pas sui c1szt1 -lz-t1s a. pSrass
. iexiuzzaEs a ia e4ss zno2nd - g. a.
liEl.ted sxtsDt Is : = ih~ etee q tEe
tlerk q Pellss l94Et las Cisfk Aiunself
. n0ts1 p1nsssr aac = a. Sab Tsg.sstsss.
iasyeFs ses sssn - ssasEasa. az ossi2zry
i15sTistuzk w.th sigh xzapsEay - Any
ih-az 9f thss sind secl1 90 seli - carry
~la hiax eonesslsd d0or be-. Ths
paaslsTs are very superssslleas Ia Eas
alal-sx ~ eass.aut der zad ealrek b<lls.
alid tBx hon oas sill drive them all 0at
- soaas sssn1 ianch rooaa ~ perhaps .
saloo0. altaoaxh gas cisrk Is TOO mora .
alan - visit he alter fns 0&nsr dsy .
paifolmza dropped ia and slarte1 the gang
with the znno1neemens thst be
lad : ns~ ehsstauL Io<sE wss al anxiety,
aud begged % bear il Al once. The blue
coat ssld that lsllos uas salax - saos
hiHa diamond pis snd--"Rats cried
the dis<ustsd clerk. An be took cut
dime and pm, I suppose" he continued.
Why. yea chump. that Was one Of the vile
plas that drove the lsfzelites out OF Egypt"
Jake Johnson. the popular clerk At
Police Headquarters. has an appetite, OF
which horse would not need be ashamed.
since be returned from the sea shore. Be-
fore hs went away 40 w0uid scOrn 10 carry
lunch basket. bat he says nov that the
contents OF an ordinary restaurant would
not satisfy hls midnight appetite. His
friends are eOngraIuIatipg him on his
healthy appearance and while nobody wishes
him any harm. il IS understood that his
landlsdy has threatened 10 assign IN dis
favor.
The othsr evening young gentleman
Who Is not very well scqnaintsd IN the city
attended ball and became somewhat en-
am0ured with a young lady who dresses
well and is blessed with pretty hgure-no
isttery. Ills waltzing is superb. or at least
the girls say so. and after they had been
seated she told him that she had only
learned 70 waltz this summer. he replied
that she wa certainly very apt pupil. "A
what" she inquired. He repeated what he
had said and as she sat with a mystifed
look on her lovely countenance he ex-
planned 10 her the meaning Of his words
and then-why then she knew, of course
only she didn't quite understand. He still
Acknowledges that she is handsome, but his
iniatuation has vanished.
The Police and Fire Commissioners
conldn't see their way clear to raising the
salaries OF the patro.men when making up
the annual budget. although they didn't
hnd il any trouble to add 81 COO to the an
nual salary OF the gentlemanly little Gen
eral who wears a dress suit rides in his car
riage, and order, the poorly paid men about
al his leisure. On Thursday he went among
the men, and on enquiring about the
amount of their expenses. found that il
took almost their entire salary to furnish
the bare necessities of life and still there
has been nothing heard Of his recommend
ing an increase in salaries to the Board.
One OF the excuses made by the Board was
that the salsrie. of the patrolmen had been
raised only four years ago. The city is
growing, gentlemen.
There is something pleasant about the
horse doctor which makes it pleasant to
meet him. OF all men on earth who have
no occasion to feel proud or lord it over
you. the horss-doctor seems to be the least
s;uck-up. He hasn't the effrontery and the
bluh Of the livery stable man, and he is a
mo Of 10 oh Ia ;,,I,
yidual who makes living betting on the
races. He knows at once that he IS not
society bouquet and hence mas nothing to
tell you about his set good or bad. The
man and woman doctor knows too much
for you, as rule. When you would talk to
either about something earthly they turn the
subiec-to something which reminds you OF
the climax. or whatever you may call IL,
which stops life. The undertaken i. Jolly
when away from his business-he needs
must be. But the hosse-doctor goes on in
the even tenor or soprano of his way. He
has no stories to tell; the reporter passes by
MS door and notes not so much as the
number on the transom. He is never asked
for his opinion on any question which the
press discusses, unless, maybe. there is an
epidemic of epizootic. But, Lord, that
doesn't occur often enough to keep the
horss-doctor's name in two consecutive die
tionaries, Did you ever know a horse-doc-
tor to write a letter ITO the Editor" Did
any horse-doctor ever call upon
city editor for correction? Did
you ever hear OF q national. state,
county. or city convention of horse doctors?
Did you ever hear OF ahorse-doctor's union
Was there ever borse-doctor's strike7
Have YOU, in your observations or among
your friends. ever heard of Joke, pun.
laughter" or anything, attrocious OF other
wise charged upon horse-doctor7 Did You
ever hear Of hOrse-doctor being voted
zold-headed cane, or getting a benefit or
being seFenaded or being nominated for
Office. or getting into a show for nothing
He = apparently a quiet and unobtrusive
citizen who has neither been praised or
abused and Who has bothered nobody. He
tf~hr f.~a,~