Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-03-05
FROM ACROSS THE SEA.
THEODORE STANTON WRITES OF
SOME FRENCH CUSTOMS.
He Compares Them with the Custom.
of the United states and Not Always
to Our Advantage-Hint> for People
who Wish {" Enjoy Social Life.

PARIS, Jan. 3l.-l propose III this letter to
give Your readers an idea of "a few Of the
social customs that differ in France from
those that prevail i'll the United States, and
here, as in some other things, | think you
will find that Franc, Is superior to US. We
Americans are often too apt to consider as
unworthy Of study and imitation what we are
pleased To call tine effete nations of Europe
But "A long residence on this side of the ocean
has convinced me, that while the Unitei
States possesses many virtues, IT does not
possess ali the good thILgs of this world.
Thus several of the social customs of France
could he transplanted with benefit into the
United States.
In America even in our large cities, it Is
more the exception than the rule If a lady has
a regular "at home" But here i'll France, and
especially in Paris, everybody-even gentle
men in some instanceS-has his or her day"
The day and the hours between wlich the
lady Is ready IN receive callers are generally
printed in the left hand lower corner Of her
visiting card, and II Is only on that day and
between thosc hours that she can be seen by
her friends. Sometimes 1t may be every
Tuesday or on every other Thursday, or on
the first Saturday in each month; but every
lady in Paris, even of the most unpretentious
sort, has fixed afternoon when she receives
her friends
This custom has many advantages and ver.
few disadvantages. Here are some Of tlu
advantages: When, for instance. French
housewife, with culinary tastes, Is busy in
the kitchen, she is sure that Mrs. Brown oI
Mrs. Jones will not appear IN her parlor all
attired in fine robes, and thus force her to
leave the cake TO spoil and TO lose precious
hour. or il NAV be, whole afternoon, that
was To have been devoted to replenishlng the
dessert drawer Fewer white lies" have to
he told under this system for nobody calls
on Mrs. Smith except on Tuesday, and then
Mrs. Smith is never out" Again, Mrs.
Smith can-unless she happen TO be poor,
and Yet have rich acquaintance. which IL
oftener the case in aristorr:tic Europe than
in democratic AmeIIca-he richly dressed
| as her visitors, who, she knows. will not come
in upon her before a certain hour on Ger
tain day. So she never has to enter her own
parlor making excuses for her attire, that she
came in just rs she was in order not To keep
You waiting, that you must excuse her stained
/ hands because she was i'll the midst of making
| currant jelly, etc
And now here are some of the advantages
| to the callers. In the first place they never
have 10 wait only a minute" while Mrs
Smith is jumping out Of her kitchen dress
into her parlor robe. which often takes nearly
a half hour. Then again, You do not ring q
| door bell in Paris and experience the disagree
able feeling that perhaps your unexpected
call is throwing a whole family into conster
nation No; il is Mrs. Smiths day, and the
door is Immediately opened by neatly at
! tired maid servant, who, perhaps, looks Stat
teruly on all the other days Of tie week, and
who conducts you into coy parlor, where
the fire is burning, guests are chatting and
the delicious aroma of tea rises from a little
side table You find Mrs. Smith really glad
to see you. for she has been expecting you
You often meet agreeable visitors, and you
sip cup of tea or quafr glass OF wine, and
start out on the next call rested in body ana
refreshed. Mrs. Smith has appeared at her
best her home looked orderly and inviting
and YOU were not saying 10 yourself during
Jour visit: Il wonder if AM not interrupt
ing some household duty" or, Mrs. Smith
looks as If she wished me gone,H or, Am
not staying too long" or some other such
mental question that always haunts the brain
of n sensitive person who infiicts a surprise
party" in the shape of q cal! upon some help
less friend
Another admirable French custom is what
8 known as the ~faire part Thus when Il
child is born, when marriage or funeral oc-
ours, all the friends and acquaintances of the
family are informed Of the event by receiving
a printed letter. The many advantages of
this custom will readily occur to YOU. Here
ara some: You never run the risk of asking
a husband about his wife who has been dead
a month; You do not congratulate a father
on his baby who has not yet been born; You
do not address an old fame as Miss Black
when she has hecn married for six months to
the man at her side, nor do YOU write
letter 10 Mrs. johnson, when she has
been divorced and remarked and is now
Mrs. Robinson. 1t is no uncommon thing
in America, to return 10 your native town
after years absence, and TO be in continual
| fear Of making mistakes of this kind. / had
several unpleasant experiences of this sort
during nv visit To the United States last
summer, after five years sojourn in Europe
But in France, it is rare that this happens
| Marriages and deaths and births. are not
published as III England, in the advertising
columns of the newspapers, where nine friends
out of zen never see them. You receive per
| sonally a notice and thus YOU easily keep the
run of all that has occurred among your ac-
quaiutarces i'll respect to these three cardinal
events Of life
The importance Of the visiting card in
| France may. lie shown III connection with
this "faire part" custom; when YOU receive
one Of these notices, you are always expected
| TO seLd i'll return Your card. IL YOU are very
intimate with the family, you should write
| in the corner a few words of coincidence or
! fehcitatlOn according To whether the "faire
| part" Informed you of "A death, a birth, or q
marriage. In this way long letters of condo
! lence and congratulation are often avoided
| But in most cases, ninety nine out of "A hun
dred, you need simply return, by post, your
visiting card in an open envelope, requiring a
| one cent stamp. Thus this custom costs
neither time nor money.
While speaking of cards, | might mention
| q popularity in France that strikes the
| American. The wife has no individual visit
| ing card rs in the United States. Thus Mrs
| Renjamin's card reads Mr. and Mrs John p
| benjamin, and not Mrs. Julia s Benjamin.
| The husband, on the contrary, has an irdi-
! vidnal card. 80 when Mrs. Benjamin leaves
! cards on another married couple, she hands
| the servant one on which Is printed Mr.. and
Ms. john 7. Benjamin, this is for the lady of
| the house who Is beng called upon, and two
| others hearing the name Mr. John p Benia-
min, which are for the lady and gentleman
| uf the house. This complete buryiug of the
wife's name and individuality in that of the
| husband is quite the opposite Of the Amer
| lean practice, and las no advantages that I
can discover. On the contrary, it Is open to
! criticism. for the wife's family is often more
/ widely known than that of the husbands, SO
that it would frequently he benefit TO him
ard her to preserve some reminder of her
origin. This is especially true in aristocratic
! Europe, where a name, If it he a famous one
carries great weight with 1t, and aids IN
| political and social advancement
| THEODORE STANTON,