The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-07-22
MY QUEER LEGACY.
How I Became Known as mBrown.
the Philanthropist."

l.
am also diffident. My dif1idence has
stood in my way throughout my life,
it is so horribly apparent; and it is
probably through my unfortunate
diflidence that have so few friends. l
hardly know soul at my club outside
the card room, where it used to be my
custom to play four rubbers of whist
every afternoon. The card-room at
the Rice and Curry Club, when was a
useless member of society, was my
idea of perfect bliss; there were no
draughts there, no noises, no disturb
ing influences. Last year some of the
Radical reformers-for we have Radi-
cal reformers even at the Rice and
Curry in introducing a
ridiculous innovation. In the memory
of the Oldest member, no female form,
during club hours at least, was ever
known to dosecrate that great mon
astery of Oriental dervishes, the Rice
and Curry. But they made an absurd
addition to the rules last year.
Ladies are allowed to partake of re-
freshments in the strangers dining
room at the Rice and Curry, if accom-
panied by member, during certain
hours of the afternoon. The strangers
dining-room is a gruesome apartment,
and don think the ladies have much
to be thankful for. With this new
tangled exception, l am happy to say
that the Rice and Curry is still free
from any disturbing influence.
! am by no means o brilliant whist
player. object to the PETER" and
look upon it as form of swindling; it
may be a prejudice, it probably is.
You will agree that / am not brill
liant whist player when l say that my
losses at the game, though l never
bet, certainly used to cost me 4200
year. That was avery serious matter
to me then, for it was before l came
into my fortune, before l became q
busy man and philanthropist.
1t is of the strange manner of my
coming into the fortune, and of my
becoming philanthropist, that am
about to tell. Philanthropy, like dram
drinking, is an affectation that grows
on one; /, whose SWnanaue bonana was
a quiet rubber, am now q rabid phil
anthrOpist. This is how it came about:
Though | am very diflident man,
Campbell was certainly more retiring.
Campbell was q China merchant. 1
do not mean that he sold crockery, but
he had been head of a great mercantile
firm in China, and in China he had
made his money. had never spoken
to Campbell in my life; he was sad
looking man, very taciturn, but he
used to smoke uncommonly good CT
CARS. He used to sit on one side of the
fireplace, / on the other, and there we
sat and smoked far into the night.
After several years we used to nod to
each other, but we never spoke; that
would have been quite contrary to the
etiquette at the Rice and Curry. Wugs-
by-a most Objectionable person, who
looks upon himself as the club wit and
keeps little manuscript book of Jokes,
in which he notes any thing amusing
that he may pick up, and probably
afterwards passes it off as his own
said that Campbell and l resembled the
two statues at the gate of Bedlam-
Melancholy and Raving Madness. OF
course he meant to hurt my feelings,
but he failed; for / took the Melancho-
ly to myself, in which there is nothing
degrading, and put the Raving Mad
ness down to Campbell. Possibly Camp
bell did as did.
As l have said, l am very sharp
sighted, sat staring at Campbell as
he smoked in silence. had been in
that chair for about two hours, and
when say that had only just ordered
my second glass; it will be seen that
am not drinking man. Campbell is
old-fashioned, and always shows a
large expanse of shirt-front. Were
my eyes deceiving me? They never
yet had deceived me, those sharp eyes
of mine. But there could not be a
doubt of it; an insect was slowly, very
slowly, crawling up Campbell's shirt
front. 1t will be quite sufficient when
vail the vulgar name of that insect
by saying that the name of a certain
musical note expressed its character.
/ would have travelled with Campbell
in the same carriage from London to
Ednburg, or from Southampton to
Bombay in the same P. and o. boat,
without speaking to him. But this
was not a moment for half meas
ures.
Il beg your pardon, said; s.don't
move, but there s-er-a something on
your shirt. !"
Campbell lowered his eyes; he moved
the Objectionable thing and thanked
me, but he did so in careless sort of
way, as though the finding of objec-
tionable things on his Shirt-fgoat was a