Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1887-12-30
Embarrassing somnambulism.

Embarrassing SOmuambulism.
There can be no doubt that people who
walk in their sleep are not desirable guests
to have in boarding house. They are la
bic to create strange confusions and dsa
greeable dlemmas. Up on Sutter street is
large domestic hotel, where families and
single people are accommodated with all the
comforts of home. Under these circum-
stances it is generally full of people. Young
married people arc especially glad to find in
such an establishment the conveniences of
private life without the trouble and worry
OF housekeeping, and bad-headed, middle
aged gentlemen, who, in their haste to ac-
cumuate fortunes, have put off marrying
until ii is too late to wed, gravitate to such
places as inevitably as the needle turns to
the north. The house in question was full
of such people. But particularly noticeable
| among them were blushiDg young bride,
whose beauty eHd grace was the theme of
every tongue, aud stont, red-facsd dealer
in old iron, whose sleek and shining ap
pearar cs was only equalled By the smooth
| and polished surface of his hairless head.
| Indeed, it was generally accepted fumor
about the house that his slick and gisteE-
ing craninm was the result of incessant pol
ishiDg with red bandana handkerchief,
whi0n, for time out of mind had been re
garded IA leading feature of his toilet.
To say thai this gentleman was modest
would only partially convey an idea OF bis
remarkable "backwardness in coming for
ward" in the presence OF ladies. The
glauces OF feminine eyes would deepen the
caimne hue Of his countenance until the
blood seemed ready TO burst from his veins.
i \ u IA fha f,,,i1
accents which only feminine voices csn as
sumo would CAUSE every nerve or his b7dy
TO thrill with embarrassment.
Imagine the CONSERVATION of this gentle.
uau when on returning late from his club
ore night he found his apartment occupied
~ lady. The discovery was not made un-
I'll he hal partially disrobed. Coming into
the ROOM the moon shining brightly through
the window, he began to throw off his
clothes without lighting the gas. When his
coat, vest, and shoes were removed, and q
wooden nightcap drawn comfortably over his
head his suspenders dangling gracefully
from his wastband to his heels, and when
in the act of drawing off his trousers, he was
interrupted by gentle voice from the bed,
inquiring:
us that you, deaf?"
The horror of the situation rose wildly be-
fore his eyes. 1t was as if q lightning shock
had transtixed him. His feet seemed glued
to the floor. If he had had any hair on his
head it would have risen on end. But the
blood, which in the moment Of bis over.
wheming astonishment had receded to his
heart, now rushed furiously through his
veins and seemed to concentrate in globe
of burning red in the head, from which the
dsheveled nightcap had fallen.
Are you coming to bed, dear?" came
again the same gentle voice.
This was too much. With bound like
panther the gentleman leaped to the sofa,
and wheeling it from the corner sprang be-
hind it,
The moon pouring lood of light through
the wadow seemed to have concentrated all
its rays on that particular corner. 1t was
lit up with the brightness of day. The lady
saw the crouchiug figure, and noted the
cbese and ungainly form. 1t was not her
husband. Visions of robbers, murderers,
sud thieves passed through her mind with
the rapGity Of lightning. With bound, as
ifupraised hya galvanic shock, she sat up
10 bed. Then with shrek as if all the
steam caliopies in the country had been
combined in one fearful dapsaoD, she gave
voice to her alarm. The noise of that awful
shrek drove out of the mans heart his first
| aiNTt!, anu TepIdCSU ~ WILL cpOtHci h'bhV
still more intense.
For beaven's sake, woman, be quiet ~
he cried ffom his crouching place iu The
corner.
The lady only shrieked the louder. From
flight the man was rapidly passing into q
condition of distracted courage.
"Be quiet I tell you !"
"Oh, sir, for PHYS sake don't kill me !"
| "Kill YOU. indeed Confound it, I'm not
going to hurt you. But get out of here!"
This confirmed her worst apprehensions.
A burglar had invaded her room. She
would have fed, but the door was locked,
and her attire WAS not fitted for promo
made through the streets.
But she could yell, ard she did. A sue
cessiop CT screams filed the room that would
have wakened the dead They reused the
house, aud the halls rapidly filled with
frightened people, Among them came the
! hus5snd of the rosy bride. He had come
aome late, aud not finding his spouse asleep,
as he expected to, concluded she was visit.
iug some lady friends and quietly tumbled
| himself into bed and went to seep. The
screams of the alarmed lady had even pene
trated his dormant senses, and he came rush
ing out with the rest.
'Ob, heavens, save me-" again came the
ALARMED entreaty from the bachelors room.
"That's my wiie's voice." he shouted, and
| mis- strcns shoulders carried the door from
its binges The sight that met the startled
group Of people crowding into the room was
so ludicrous and sb3urd that in spite ofsym-
pathy for the terror stricken lady they gave
wev 10 uncomfortable laughter. The fright
ened bachelor had wedged himself between
the wall and the sofa until he looked as fiat
as a ,ancake Occasionally he glanced fu!
| II. o,rar tho hack of IL and then snnk I