The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1887-03-17
BILL NYE's NEW TEETH.
Hc Tells His Son All He Knows About
Filling q Tottering Mouth.

no Tells His Son All He Knows About
Filling Tottering Mouth.
Your last issue of the Retisa, your new
thought vehicle, published at New
Belony, was received yesterday. like
this number, think, better than did
the first. While the news in it seems
fresher, the editorial assertions are not
so fresh. Youdo not state that you shave
come to stay" this week, but infer
that you occupy the same position you
did last week with reference to that.
Twas more especially interested in
your piece about how to rear children
and the care of parents. read it to
your mother last night while she was
setting her bread. Nothing tickles me
very often at my time of life, and when
I laughed loud peal of laughter at
any thing nowadays it's got to be
pretty blamed good thing, I can tell
you that. But your piece about bring
ing up children made me laugh real
hard. enjoy piece like that from
the pen of a juicy young brain like
yours. 1t almost made me young
| again to read the words of my jour-
nalistic gosling SON..
You also say that ''teething is the
most trying time for parents" Do you
mean that parents are more fretful
when they are teething than any other
time? Your mother and me reckoned
that you must mean that. If so, it
| shows your great research. How
mere child hardly out of knee-panties,
a young shoot like you, who was never
a parent for moment in his life, can
enter into and understand the woes
that beset parents is more than I can
understand. If you had been through
what have while teething could see
how you might understand and write
about it, but at present do not see
through it. The first teeth cut as a
parent made me very restless. I was
| sick two years ago with a new disease
that was just out, and the doctor gave
me something for it that made my teeth
fall like the leaves of autumn. In six
weeks after began to convalesce my
mouth was perfectly bald-headed. For
days didn't bite into Ben Davis
apple that didn't leave fang into it.
Well, after that I saw an advertise
ment in the Rural Rustler-a paper I
used to take then--of a place where
you could get set of teeth for six dol
lars. I didn't want to buy high
priced and gaudy set of teeth at the
tail end of such a life as had led, and
I knew that teeth, no matter how eX-
pensive they might be, would be of
little avail to coming generations, SO ]
paper and got an impression Of my
mouth taken.
There is really nothing in this life
that will take the stiff-necked pride out
of Il man like viewing plaster cast of
his tottering mouth. The denust fed
me with large ladle full of putty or
plaster of paris, reckon, and told me
to hold it in my mouth till it set.
I don't remember a time in all my
life when the earth and transitory
things ever looked so undesirable and
so trifing as they did while 1 sat there
in that big red barber chair with my
mouth full of cold putty. 1 felt just as
man might when he is being taxi
dermied.
| After awhile the dentist took out the
cast. 1t was a cloudy day and so it
didn't look much like me after all. If
it had I would have sent you one
After I'd set again two or three times,
we got a pretty fair likeness, he said,
and went home, having paid six dol
lars and left nv address.
Three weeks after that small boy
came with my new teeth.
They were nice, white, shiny teeth,
and did not look very ghastly after !
had become used to them. wished at
first that the gums had been a duller
red and that the teeth had not looked
so new. put them in my mouth, but
they felt cold and distant. took them
out and warmed them in the sunlight
People going by no doubt thought that
did it to show that was able to have
new teeth, but that was not the case
wore them all that forenoon while
I butchered. There were times during
the forenoon when / wanted to take
them out, but when man is butcher
ing he hates to take his teeth out JUS
!, because they hurt.
Neighbors told me that after my
mouth got hardened on the inside il
would feel better.
But, oh, how it relieved me at night
: to take those teeth out and put then
on the top of a cool bureau, where the
wind could blow through their whis
kers! How hated to resume them il
the morning and start in on another
long day, when the roof of my moutl
felt like big red bunion and my gum!
like pale red stone bruise.
A year ago, Henry, about two-thirty
in the afternoon, think it was, lef
I that set of teeth in the rear flank of .
. barbecue was to in our town.
Since then have not been so pretty
J perhaps, but l have no more unicorn
on the rafters of my mouth and m,
8 note is just as good at thirty days a
ever it was.
You are right, Henry, when you g
on to state in your paper that teethins
l is the most trying time for parents
3 Bill Nye, in Chicago NeUs.
He Didn't Have Any.