The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1887-01-15
A CHURCH CONCERT.
Trustworthy Report of What Young
Man who Accompanied Young Lady
Saw and Heard There.


Man who Accompanied Young Lady
Saw and Heard There.
eve enter and take our seats
Young Lady-There, Mr.. jenkins, ]
told you we should not be late. You
see we have lots of time. OH did you
ever see such horrid hat as Mrs.
Deusenbury Smith has got onp It's per-
fcctly awful,
Woman behind us lin u hoarse
Whisper What that girl can see in
Jenkins never shall understand.
Her Companion-Me neither. They
say he owes thirty-seven dollars for
board to Mrs. Bowler, and she tells
| me
Mysolf--Excessively warm, is it notf
Young Lady-It seems qnite cool to
me. But see! here comes the pianist,
Signor Staccato. think he is just
splendid.
Sig. S. ION the grand piano-pianis.
simo) -Tum, tumty, tum. Tumtytum
ta-a-a-a-a, etc.
Various persons in my immediate
neighborhood say she's going
to be married again, and No, in
deed, for l told him just what
thought Of You don't say so! Well
L Yes. that's him right over there.
He She sings in the choir, and
must say Isn't he perfectly grandp
Sig. S. Qortissimo) Thumpetty.
thump- thump-thump-crash! hang!
Young Lady-He is just wonderful!
[Tumultuous applause. Sig. S. comes
back and does it some more).
Young Lady (whcn he has linishedl
Il could listen to him all night,
couldn't youP
Myself could, but it would make
me very sad. (My Lady Friend looks
daggers at me, and / see that | have
made mistake).
Woman behind us-How out of place
that jenkins looks at classical con-
cert like this.
Myself Qeigning deep intcrcsD-
All, Miss Cantake is going to sing.
High-priccd Soprano-Una voca pocs
70, etc.
Man in front of us-That woman has
been married three times. Her name
amt no more Cantake than mine is.
Her first husband was
Woman behind me--Itcost dollar
bCNSHlI u " luf uiNl- w liu hpIlluuSO'
High-priced Soprano comes back and
bows but won't sing, Enter the gifted
artist, w. Macready Higgins.
Young LADY, am acquainted with
him. He is too awfully funny for any
thing. He told par that it came just
as natural to him as breathing,
w, NJ. II. (giving his great imitation
of Irving -Gud, gud, me lud. etc.
Man in front of me-Did you ever
see lrvingP
His Companion-Ynh He's no good
You orter see Buffalo Bill Now he
can act, he can. Granite applause.
w. M. II. comes back and initiates
Lawrence Barrett, whom he represents
as an asthmatio individual with unmis-
taxable prcmonitory symptoms of the
blind staggers.)
Young Lady-Ain't he just too
splendid? Hetold par that Mr.. Barrett
saw him give that representation once,
and was so overcome that he had to
leave the hall.
Myself can readily believe that.
q am about to make further remarks
of sarcastic nature when-EnterI Israel
Morgenstern, the talented American
violinist.)
!. M. (playing his great Reyery in g
sharp minor) Wa-a-a-h, wah, wah,
wahwahwah wo-o-o-o-w, etc, etc. q
gradually become oblivious to my sur
roundings, and am soon in the arms OF
what-y ou-may-cal him. ! dream that
| have been chosen umpire in cat
fight, and that / am presently obliged
to decide against large, bluc-eyed
wit n ofn inn inn nj
countenance, who in his Indignation
fiercely attacks me. We fight for some
time with clothes-poles, and / am
presently stabbed in the arm. | awake
to find that my Young Lady has stuck
a pin into me.
Infant Phenomenon Con the plat
form)-Mabel, little Mabel, with hel
face against the pane.
Myself-I'm afraid Eve been DOING.
Young Lady Gcily)-You have SLEPT
through two entire numbers.
Myself am very
Young Lady (tcn degrees below ze
ro)-You need not apologize.
Pastor of Church (arge, portly mar
with a voice like fog-horn)-I am re
quested by the Young Peoples Associ
alton to thank the congre-I mean the
audience-for its attendance, and tt
state that an oyster supper has beer
prepared in the chapel. (Audicnce be
comes interested.) Only fifty cents pc
head will be charged, and the proceed
will be used thanks TO the kindness o
the Young Peoples Association-to de
fray your pahstor's expenses on hi
coming lecture tour Pahss through
the door to the right. Il am about Il
invite my Young Lady to partake 0
biyalves. when | remember that hav
only thirty-fve cents in my pocket
ETcunt, myself and my Young Lad
into the street. EGeunt nearly ever
one else into the chapel. )-F. 4
StedrHs, in id-Bits.
- =
Walter Gordon, of Atlanta, Ga
is said to have made three snug u
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