Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-09
R E ID.

Omaha Child-"Is the Sioux City people Indians, paa' Omaha Pa-''No" ''Aint their faces red?" "No; only their ."- Omaha Herald.
 "Why is small boy like womana" said a certain man to his troublesome wife. No response. Because he will make man
 grown" said the eonundrumist.
 s'Let me see," said minister who was f1l-
 ing out marriage certificate and had for
 gotten the date, ''this is the fifth, is it nota"
 ''No, sir" replied the bride, with indigna-
 tion, ''this is only my second"
 ''I notice that 'Ruddygore' is not to be
 taken to the continent of Europe" observed
 the dramatic editor. s'No," replied the
 snake editor. ''It is expected that Bismarck
 and Boulanger can supply the demand there." -Pittsburg Chronicle.
 When Nature would smuse herself she
 m akes fool. When we think that some of
 the members of the Arkansas legislature are presumably some of Natures work, we must conclude that she has had considerable musement.-Arkansaw Traveller. ''I have diagnosed your husbands case carefully, my dear Mrs. Burtly," said the
 young physician, "and I find that he is suf
 fsrng % 9s in etasad tes Reds s5trs t5a d lady in distress. ''It's wusser'n I thought.
 Poor John said the pain was sll in his feet" -Drake's Travellers Magazine.
 There had been wet weather at Windsor Castle for two weeks and her majesty, walk ing to the window, remarked, ''What a long
 rain we're having!" "Yes," said the Prince l of Wales, sadly. 'I don't think you'll get out for some time" And then her Majesty looked at him as if she suspected him of a little too much double entendreness.-Life. Mrs. De Ping has invited her country rela- tives to dinner, in acknowledgement of cour- tesies shown during two weeks country visit the summer before. He (after the sixth course)-Tm blowed if can eat another
 mossel. She (nudging him under the table,
 and in a whisper)-Onbutton yer vest, Ezry. It's tn only chance we'll hev ter git even
 with um fer another year.-Judge. An agricultural journal figures it that "when land is worth $20 an acre, one glass of beer at five cents would represent piece of land nine feet wide and twelve feet long room enough to bury the whole family in. /" This may be so, but it is 8 mighty poor in ducement for man to give up his beer. day than to bury his whole family in such a cheap and out-of-the-way locality.-Norris- town Herald.
 A little mistake-Lena, who has been only few months from Germany, is very proud of the facility with which she is acquiring the English language. Once in while, however when trying to repeat some of the slang phrases used by the boys of the fami- ly, she makes a slight mistake. As, for in
 stance, when, after listening with an incred-
 ulous smile to very transparent attempt at
 hoax by young John, she exclaimed, "Oh,
 Master Yenny, dat story is not dick enough" -Harper's Bazar.
 How silly are the wise people. A learned
 man or woman, we can't tell which from the
 initials, says in printed letter of advice to
 young parents, Con no account permit chil-
 dren to do at one time what you have forbid
 den them to do at another" Oh, come off
 Then because you forbid your boy to take off
 his clothes when he goes to school, he musn't
 take them off when he goes to bed. What
 ho, there! Headsman, to thy taskl 'Tis
 we'll; now bring on the next wise man.
 Burdetts, in Brooklyn Eagle.