The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-11
BRIGHT BITS.

EDlTH--You ought to read this book of How
ellis, ma. It's 50 real l never saw anything
like it-Life
A MINNEAPoIIs LANDLADY has been fined $40
for slapping her hired girl We will make one
OF ten 10 pay that woman'S fne.-Puck
If the man who is reported to have stolen
Napoleon S remains is still in the business, he
can now steal the remains of the Sherman boom
without creating sensation.-lT Louis Post
Dispatch.
If Jim jenkins don't stop shooting our win
dows out there II be trouble, This is no rented
house and the windows cost money. If he
wants to shoot at us he must come inside -
HdweSUtHe (ky.) PldiHdedier
GUEST Ito landlord)-I say landlord, have you
got such thing as an encyclopedia about the
housel
Landlord-No, sir, we have not; but there is
a gentleman from Boston in the reading ROOM
HdrperS BazuT.
\ SPIRTTUAIIsTIc ORGAN contains an article
entitled"Why Spirits Throw Stones " We haven't
read 1t, but suppose il is because they don't
live in glass houses. Some men throw stones
because they associate too much with spirits
NolTistolcn Herald
'Now," said Walnut street Sunday school
teacher, "our lesson today is about the battle
between David aud Goliath. Why did they
fightgH
Little Towhead--For the gate receipts and
points Louisville C0to'ierJour1tal
MADE a hog of himself: Farmer Hayseed-
Got letter from Johnny to-day. He's get
tin along fine, and says he's got into cube
root.
Mrs Hayseed-Tharl I told YOU that thar
boy would make hog of hsself.-Ne,curk IN
DEPENDENT
OMAHA MAN-How ridiculous this faith cure
craze is
Noted physician Well, don't know about
that. I've seen good many people cured by
"Eh? Faith in the Lord?n
NO. Faith in me. '-Ondha World.
Ill wager, sonn-aw, that you have not
brought anything for me back with you from
Moscow
You are wrong, mamma, dearest l have
brought you product of the country-a smaM
Internal machine which bought for you of a
Nihlllst You have only to open it when you
are alone lie Monde COmique.
A SAD CHICAGO RoMANcE-Chicago Girl-So
you are to be married next month! You are
more fortunate than l. My wedding has been
postponed
Ohmaha Girl-Why, are you engaged?
oh, yes. was just ready to send out my
cards when poor. dear George, came in and said
we would have to wait"
How awkward, What happened?"
He hasn't got divorce from his wife yet "
Omaha World.
For wit and reverence the Western offspring
takes high honors aud sets an example for the
platform and pupit. A 3year-old Duluthian,
VINO had been forbidden to climb on the table,
broke the maternal command, and after getting
tired finally called, Here is, mamma; better
tum and Diet me down" Being told that he
would have to remain on his forbidden perch,
he studied the matter over minute, and then
hanging his feet over, proceeded TO jump, ex-
claiming. Here | doze mamma Lord help
me. Duluth Pardgrapher.---
Nor THE Work: "How much will you charg e
to go up to my house and black small-a very
small-stovel" be asked of one of the colored
brigade at the market
Just as much as would to black a large a
very large-stove, sab"
But it won't take much backing nor
rubbing"
NO, sab, but dose fings doan' count It's
gittin' me away from de market an deprivin'
me of de chance fur religious discushun dat |
charge fur Detroit Free Press.