The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1887-09-22
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

:
Cheek boldly enters where modesty
dare not pull the door-bell. Whsteha"
Times
Der real dreasure of dis worldt vas
so schmall dot feller could shtuff em
all on der outside in of his heart. .-Pret-e
sers Weekly. q - iev Hssv ars tsasszs4
A poor little college does not make
a man bigger by giving him title that ,
is to be added to his name and become
a nuisance forever O. Picayune., +,
-Four useless things when empty: A
head without brains; a wit without
Judgment; heart without honesty; a {;
purse without money.-The Earth. aga
p Some new springs have been dis
covered in New Jersey. The milkmen
there have reduced their price to five
cents quart.-Boston Bulletin. A. 3; /,
When a peach tree has more fruit
than it can ripen, it quietly drops the
weakest, as man should drop his bad
habits in order to ripen the good:
Poneroy's Democrat.
-"Doctor," said Mr.. Timid, "I am
very fond of the water, but Idon't want
to take cold; what shall / dop'' Don't
want to take hold? Then let go. Dol
lar n 'alf, please. Burdette. sil5a 9
-Anextensive practice. ce.-Counsel( Ito
servant of young doctor)-"Had your
master large practice?" Servant
"At one time lady used to call every
day; but she is dead now. "-LGndbote.
So Annie is marriedp' "Yes. She
discarded Tom and married old Gold
bugge. the banker. They sailed to-day
to spend their honeymoon in Paris. y
honeymoon. you mean" Town
Topics.
+ "A Kentucky strawberry grower
lost over $40 on one shipment by being
away from his place and the new man
| putting the berries in the bottoms of
the boxes, he thinking they, being the J,
deepest. were the tops.-Kentucky State
| Journal
g -Abjure slang sternly and upon
principle, if for no other reason. be-
cause it narrows your vocabulary. It
is the favorite refuge of the slovenly
and the indolent. If your thought does
not deserve neat dress. keep it in,
some back closet of your own BRAIN
Indianapolis Journal. s'at
F. Young wife-'O. Mr.. Jones. Tn
SO sorry Tom brought you home to din
ner to-day. If he had told me you
were coming I'd have had something
nice, and haven't thing in the house
fit to eat" Mr.. Jones--sNow please
don't say a word about it, my dear
madam. You needn't worry yourself
particle. take the most of my meals
at home myself. ."-Pitts6urgh Dispatch.
-Snb- -Editor-"H ere's one of the
most senseless things ever handled. Il
don't understand it at all" Editor =
whats it about?'' Sub-Editor-.I
can't make out even that guess the
waste basket is the proper place for it."
Editor-"No, no! Put it in the funny
column, I guess, probably. that is
where it's intended to go."-Bdltfnsore
Herald 8l@ tasGs
! -Speculator enthusiastically ii
tell you, gentlemen, there is wealth In
the Great Argent mining country.
Rock fairly glistens with silver" Re
turned ,miner-''I can testify to that.
There is fortune there, gentlemen. )"
! Speculator-''Have you been prospects
in that localityP'' Returned miner
'.Yes; just come back. l left my for
tune there. Binghanaton Republican.
! Plantation Philosophy.--De creates
truth is sometimes told by the biggest
Q liar.-I doan' kere how smart er man
! is, de fust thing he knows he'll meet er
man dat's jes er little smarter.--Dar
is ez much danger in oberdoin' er thing
: ez dar is in not doin' it well ernuff. De
dog mighty often runs so fass dat he
falls ober de rubbit and den lets him git
er way.---It's er putty hard matter
fur er man dat's got on er po' suit O.
cloze ter be In er good hunor wild de
worl' De strawberry is nearly allus
! sour when de seed bergins to show
Arkansaao Traveller.