The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1887-11-05
CURBsToNE CHAT.
What Our Citizens Say About Matters
and Things.

Hold on there, Mr.. NEW DoMrS-
ION" said citizen A., coming down
street, the other day. did you no.
tice that Spencer, the county seat of
Roane, was literally licked up and
obliterated by fire, few days
agof"
Certainly" replied the New Do
MINIoN scribe, ''would you expect me
to overlook such an item of news as
thatY'
swell. you probably also remem-
Der that the best part of the town of
Grafton went up in smoke the same
way, not many weeks ago?'
Certainly"
eYou also remember that, little
later, the town of Clarksburg escap-
ed destruction by the skin of her
teeth?"
"Yes."
THAT is to say, that it is coming
to be common occurrence in West
Virginia for town to burn up?"
Exactly"
"Well, now, / have conundrum
to PROFOUND to you: / want you to
tell me why Morgantown has not
been one of the towns that has burnt
upY
That's strange question" sug-
gested the New DOMINION.
"True," said citizen, "but it adj
mits of but one answer"
"Well, let's have it. ] give it up"
"Yon will agree said citizen,
"that it is not because of the want
of material for a fire to feed on.
Look, for example, at that line of
buildings opposite the Merchants
National Bank. Suppose they would
take fire, where would it stop2 Or
look at that line of old stables back
Of them, on Spruce street-regular
finder boxes-deserted, useless, in a
tumble-down condition, the resort
of all the riff-raff in town, places
where dead beats go to sleep off their
drunken stupor, public nuisances
that stand there simply as a refec-
ton on the town and disgrace to
those who own them, as well as a
menace to the whole town, because
if some drunken wretch shall fire
them some night with his pipe or a
match it will only be question of
which way or how hard the wind is
blowing as to whether Morgantown
will or will not go up in smoke"
$50 that does not answer my con-
umdrum?"
"You will agree also that the rea-
son why Morgantown has not gone
up in smoke is not because of any
preparation to fight fire in the way
of an abundance of water and eff
cient fire apparatus. There has not
been water enough in any well in
this town for three months to drown
lightning bug; and as to the fire
apparatus, understand that what
there is of it is locked up in the
shed and the key lost
"Now, to answer my own conun.
drum, the only reason why Morgan
town has not burnt up is because
she hasn't caught fire.
~
"What has become of Decker
Council Of the National Union,
asked cadaverous looking inquirer
who probably thought he might
have claim on that organization
before long.
"To what do you refer?' inquired
the scribe.
Il mean the new insurance com
pany formed here some time ago.
"Oh, l had forgotten all about
that"
$50 have a good many others, il
seems. At least they are not attend
ing the meetings as they ought t.
do, and the first thing they know
Decker Council will be repudiatet
and wiped out by the controlling
board"
~
s'Do you know whether the Mayo
has made any Investigations int
the cost of brick paving" said al
inquirer
The New DOMINION could not an
swer.
"Well, somebody ought to do tina
thing. We ought to have somebod.
with public spirit enough to spent
a postage stamp on that thing"