The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-02-16
BRlC-A-DR.tC.
There was a man of Arkansas,
Who had most savage old father ln-las,
With y shoe No. S

The point of dcath-Thc bayonet.
LIGHT wc;SIlt-A pound of candles.
Literary Nolcs-Author's promises to
pay.
The pi;,nis:'s momise to play is, Of course,
note Of hand.
y base decciver is fit for nothing but
playing ball.
The coward rcckons himself cautious. the
m;scr frugal.
The original Boone companion was Dan
i>l $ trusty rifle
It is perfectly natural for 'thc sad sea
waves to look blue.
y chance acquaintance'-The bunco
s;ecvcr
You set my teeth on edge-as the saw
remarked TO the file.
4 rousing dcmonstration-GcttinS
growing boy out Of bed.
There is frost" is the latest English of
being left out in the cold.
When the cold begins to strengthen then
the coal bills begin to lcngthen.
When a man gets to be leader of work
ing men he is able to quit work.
The dime museum woman who writes
with her toes must make great many loot
notes.
History repeats itself. a man named
Cain killed another man in Colorado re-
Gently.
England is importing bells from Balti-
more foundrics Those Baltimore bells al
ways were popular
"WaiSt makes wants, said the young
husband, when his wife asked him to buy
her 4 Sl5 pair Of corScts.
Cunningiz weak imitashun Of wizdom,
and Il liable at emmy time to merge into
fraud, says Josh billings.
\ Georgia lady boasts Of having raised
onions measuring fifteen inches in diameter.
She does not require to keep dog.
Egypt is one thousand miles long and
only six miles wide. Must look something
like Sarah Bcrnhardt.
That is not the way to raise a child,
said the humanitarian to 4 parent arrested
for lifting his boy by the ear.
''Papa's Home Tonight is the latest
song. The and n of the last word of the
title can Je omitted when necessary.
The banana skin, though crushed to
earth. has the power to take somebody
with it.
They used to say, "Crazy as bed bug, ;"
but the revised version hath it, Crazy as
Z bed quilt.
\ new front has been put in Bachman &
Iorn!ans' office, which gives the office
brighter appearance.
Asa general rule the man who makes
eXtemporancous speeches can give you the
manuscript if you want to print it.
Man proposes, but" Upon think
ing it over. we don't believed he proposes
as often as the gisls would like him TO.
The small boy learning The alphabet is
very much like postage stamp-hc often
gets stuck or q letter.
Ladies hats are higher than ever for this
winter. BY and by they will have to take
them off TO get indoors.
This is The season when the cider pitcher
is more in demand than the base ball
pitcher.
4 man may talk and talk and not he a
bore if he talks to you about your good
points.
There IS no particular harm in riding a
hobby If you don't take up the whole road
with It.
\ father may succeed il cutting of his
son withou: :, cent, but he can't cut Oil the
lawyers.
4 Philadelphia clergyman demands:
* hat 5 IN the Bi5le?' to which we prompt
l. reply: Autumn leaves"
Teacher-"H you were president of a
couaty fair and wanted a gate tender, What
would you Go:" Pupil-"Boil it.
The affections of man who is proved to
be false ere valued at over $4,000. How
valuable are the affections Of true man?
Ii is said thai women dress eXtravagantly
TO worry other women. Aman who dresses
extr:vaga5tly generally worries his tailor.
Ii IS said that Mark Twain has been more
successful in transforming the cents of hu-
NOR into dollars than any man in the
country.
When you inquire anxiousiy after the
hath Of the furnace in the morning, it is
not exactly comforting to be told that It is
well enough to be out"
Il mans obituary notices could only
ne published while he is running for office
instead of after death the result of many
IN election might be different.
We hear of woman in the up country
SO stingy that the only things she is known
70 give away are ''shoos' to her neighbors'
chickens.
Ii appears to be IN established truth that
n ounce of kccp-y is better
than a pound of explanation after you have
said It.
an American with homely wife never
realizes how much worse he might have
done until he sees an English professional
beauty.
Were the strength of q man in proper
ton to that Of the beetle, he could play
with weights equal to ten times the weight
Of a horse
Generally the party who sings Il would
rot live Away" the loudest, is the one who
gets between the feather beds during q
thunder storm.
4 book-agent Was struck by lightning
last Tuesday night, and on the spot where
ne stood it looked as if brass cannon had
tcen melted
Il shall fight It out on this lyin' if it
takes all summer" remarked the political
s:ump speaker, as he sent to headquarters
for more "doctored facts"
The large amount spent in advertising
by soap makers leads one to believe that
Tie old nrOverh should he changed so rs TO