River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-07-14
What Mrs. Skinner Says.
NRs. sK1NNER INro cHIcAao.

SkinnerVllle, May q, 1887.
Well I've bin to Chicago, at last, and
seen all the sites. Eben, he fit it, anC
lit it, but finely guy in, tho he lowed
I'd get lost and fetch up in the pound
and IL I'D cost him fifty sents to gil
me out, sides his expenses there and
back agin. SEES |, Eben Skinner, hope
l shan't foller off a team, like you did
when we went to state fair, and that
silenced Eben.
Well, visited the Lever Otis, fur
that was mainly what l went fur, and
such nice place as tha're got, never
sot Use on, they live upstairs, but myl
all you hev to do is to step into box
with wire round it and up you goes,
and when tina git to the landin, tina
stop and the man slides a little dOre,
and there you be, and you've got up
stairs, and don't realize how.
seen lots NV big guns at the Offs,
and 'mOng the rest was John Z. St.
John, eX-Guyner NV Kansas, and he
shook hans with me as harty as tho j
WASH farmer wife and Skinner
william at that. And, SEES he, Mrs.
Skinner, advise you as a friend not
and / shan't. 1t was all mistake
bout his bein burned; he's sound as a
dollar. His intellect, tho, is blazin
away, like big 'lectric lite" and its
goin to keep rite on blazin-the Lord
willin-till we have prohibition in the
White Hous.
| ulster think Tide like, wunderful
we'll, to 60 to Urope, or Ingland, or
sum NV them furTin countries, and l
think how Tide brag over um, bout
the United States NV America, that
CRATE free siyil government. But sens
I've seen sum things did see into Chi
cage, and the count out in Michigan,
| tell my Eben, | CESS III stay to home.
When Sc into Chicago, KEEP meetin
little boys and gals, carrien CRATE big
pitchers, full o. sunthin. most bigger
in tina wuz, and finely, frum curiouslty,
| SEES TO one little shaver, bout four
year old, SEES |; sunny what's that
you've otintO your pitchers" Beer, 3"
SEES he, with grin NV plasure all over
his Ease. .'WhO drinks it," ses |.
eve do" SEES be, and as tho to con
vince me that he Good tell the truth,
he threw his he'd back. and tipped up
the pitcher, and that beer run down
his throte like pourin water into rat
hole.
Neckst l met a little gal, tuggin a
CRATE pitcher with both hans.
Sissy SEES l, what's that in your
pitcher!
Beer" says she.
"Who drinks it." ses l!
1--WE all do, SEES she, and she hur-
ried away. Well thinks |, if things go
on like this, in twenty or thirty years
from now where are our sober men cum
ming from fur Mayors and Aldermen,
and eueR a sober President, and tohere
are they going TO get sober t0iUeS?
Well see a man standin unto the
korner, with suit NV blu close on and
shiny brass buttons, and as he didn't
seem to have much to do, went over
and put the konumdrum to him.
SEES he, "My good woman if You was
Policeman into Chicago, you'de no
better than to ask such a question.
"Why," SEES l.
Gus" says he. "If you had my ex'
experience, you'ude feel satisfied
that all the people that didn't
get drunk and stab. and shoot
each other. wood die of delirium tire
mons for twenty year roofs around and
we woodn't need any rulers"
well then" ses /, indignatly, what
makes the government low it!'
Well, he kinder turned round onto
his heal, and worked one at me, kind
er misteriously, and SEES he in hOurse
whisper, and trsggick attltood, mum
ny and uoteS, my good woman, munR!
and po,es." Well I've got to husslt
round. now and get dinner FUR Eber
and the boys, but sum day I'll tell yor
what else | saw into Chicago.