The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-28
BRIGHT BITS.

THE waves of old ocean are by no means
ready to sleep when they put their white caps
on.-Ne1o Orleans Picdyune.
IT is suggested as a shrewd guess that the
first mention of playing cards is in the Bible 1t
was when Neb euchered Nezzar.-Boston Trans
cTipt.
PARIS is to have three-story crematory It
is supposed the upper classes will insist upon
being cremated in the upper story.-No1riStoicn
Herald.
WHEN collins can be bought in New York for
40c. apiece it is hard to excuse Johann Most for
his criminal negligence in continuing to live
Chicago NeicS.
THE agricultural fair of the present opens
with a speech by a lawyer and closes with a
horse race. Agriculture takes a back seat
Nei0 Orleans PicGy,tIte.
MY SON, if a strange dog stops you in the
street and inquiries after the health of your calf,
tell him that he is suffering from pleuro- pneu-
monia.- Burlington Free Press.
SISTER CLARA entertaining young Mr. Feath-
erly}-Why do you ask me Bobby, if / was at
the market yesterday? You know very well
that was not.
Bobby heard Mr.. Featherly say something
about your being in the market.-Net0 York
Sun.
WHAT is the size of that shoe?"
That is a No. 2, madam"
Il thought so. 1t fits perfectly"
The clerk looks again.
u a.
"a A. Dear me, it is two sizes too big. Take
it right off. "-ChicGgo Ne'cs.
WITH all due respect 10 Ella Wheeler Wilcox,
her recent drop from poetry to cosmetics is not
becoming to her. 1t is like painting Pegasus
and irving to pass the animal off for G. white
elephant. Wildly passionate poetry, not pearl
powder, is Ella most striking and effective
specialty.-Chicdgo Tribune.
''HY young FRIEND" said the solemn passen-
ger, as the young man wiped his lips and re-
turned the bottle to his valise, lit is beyond my
comprehension how any one can find pleasure or
qualification in a drink of whisky, such as you
have just imbibed."
Yes, Sit, responded the young man, land
there are thousands like you. A single drink is
no good; they want a load. But believe in
moderation. "-Nelc York Sun.
Father" said the young man to his Ken
lucky sire, II thought would die this morning.
l was so sick
''How was that, Henry!"
"Why, took a drink of milk about O'Clock,
and short time after drink of whisky. The
mixture curled me up like spring"
We'll, it serves you exactly right"
"Why?"
"a man of your age ought to know better
than to drink milk. "-NebraSkG State Journal.
HAVE you heard the very latest
How the nose that nature sent
To each grown up infant might have
Been eSthetically bent?
Yes! no more shall misfit noses
Make the race of mortals sore.
Turn-up, turn-down, crooked noses
We shall suffer no morel
Says a very learned doctor
Take the infant of week,
When the cartilage is plastic,
Like a baby chickens beak-
Grasp its nose with thumb and finger,
Fix pattern in your mind
Mould your retrousse, your Grecian,
Or whatever you're inclined!"
just as simplel Just as easy!
Strange we never thought before
What slight manipulation
Would have done for our Lenore,
With a lovely, pquant feature,
Such as beauty's code demands,
We might now have a son-in-
Law and twins upon our hands
burlington Free Press.