Arizona weekly enterprise., 1887-08-20
ARIZONA WEEKLY ENTERPRISE.
WILD BILL, OF KANSAS

Killing Two Soldiers in 8 Twinkling,
 but Hesitating at Monkey.
 "Wnd Bill was good shot, was he ipts'
 s'With the six shooter he was simply wonderful. In my entertainment I give an illustration of double shot he made out at Hays City, Kan, in the early days, when he shot two soldiers, one in front Of him and one directly behind him, each en- deavoring to shoot him before he could draw his gun. He killed one and nor tally wounded the other, and the two re- ports of the revolver seemed almost as one The marvellous feat was the talk of the country for long time. In fact, when came by there few days ago one of the old residents who witnessed the killing mentioned it to me and said he could scarcely believe it even after seeing it.. Bill never missed his mark. have seen him take pistol in each hand and fire with right and left pistol at a can thrown in the air, hitting it with both bullets. By the way, I heard @ very funny story told on Bill some time ago. If you remember, he married Mrs. Agnes Lake, widow of Lake, the circus man. Bill fairly worshiped his wife, but de- spite his great love for her she never could induce him to quit drinking. He Npuld come home full of bad whisky, and one day Mrs Hickok said to him:
 Bill, if you don't quit this drinking pretty soon you will actually begin to see monkeys
 (" 'Monkeysp said he. What do you mean, little one?'
 Why, you know, when people back east drink too much of the kind of whisky they get back there they see snakes, but this awful stuff out here makes them see monkeys
 ''Bill laughed at her and did not give the matter second thought, little dream ing that she had put up job to break him of his incorporate habits. There was 8 tame monkey in the town-Cheyenne, I believe it was-and Mrs. Hickok had in- duced its owner to loan it to her for night. Bill came home that night com fortable drunk, and after he had gone to sleep his wife. secured the monkey and chained 1t to the foot of the bed Then turning down the light 0 little, she too retired and awaited results. Bill woke up in the night burning with thirst and raised up into sitting posture, intending to get out of bed and get drink of water There, perched up on the footboard, was the monkey, staring him in the face with hideous grimaces. He rubbed his bleared eyes, looked again, and 8 horrible suspi- cion came into his befuddled brain. Had his wife told him the truthi Did he really have 'emi Finally, he sprang out on the floor, seized his six shooter, which lay on a table near, leveled it at the grinning creature, and said:
 Now, old man, if you are a monkey you're in 8 bad fix; if you ain't monkey I'm in a bad fix At the same instant he fired and the monkey fell over in the ago nies of death. His wife, who had been watching the working of her scheme, sprang up in the bed with a scream, and Bill, turning to her with broad smile oi the most intense satisfaction, said: Little woman, congratulate me, fol have just had wonderful escape. ain't as drunk as I thought I was, and there's monkey lyin' there on the f1ool that'n never intrude itself into the do mestic felicy of another happy family an make a gentleman think he's got the jim jams. Capt. Jack Crawford in Kansal City Times.