The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-07-09
The Festive Drummer.


All Investigations by psychologists
into the various races and their his
tory break on an applicable influence
that seems to connect widely differ
ent places, periods and peoples.
They find old jars in use in India
that the mound builders had here,
and they come across iron teaspoons
In the primevel forest beds of coal.
They are astonished to find the grid.
iron of the north of Ireland figuring
in the social life of China three or
four thousand years ago. The Bed
ouin Arab has the army blanket of
the Esquimaux, and in the ruins oil
Pompeii they come across peanut
shells like what the sweeper sweeps
out of the gallery of the theatre to-
day. Well, why is this? ArchBol-
ogists cannot tell. l can. The mys-
FERROUS ubiquitous influence that
leaves no track save the article is
simply the drummer. 1t was the
drummer who did it all. He left
those curious Grecian scrolls in
Egypt; he carved those heiroglyph-
les on the rocks of ancient Britain
he is the man who introduced French
candy into Hurculaneum and stuck
the mound-builders with Iron tea
spoons.
Do you ever know what becomes Of
a drummer? Not lhat you care, but
have you ever seen dead drummer?
don't believe drummers die. 1 be-
lieve they simply talk themselves
into gas. "Gas thou art, to gas re-
turnest." was written of the drum
mer. have met one or two men
who have been drummers but they
do not talk much about it. When a
drummer gets tired of talking he just
disappears. I do not see how this
country survives the existence of
drummers. You go into small
country place you step into the ho-
tel; you find in the Office sixteen
coats hanging upon the wall and six
teen valises in row on the floor, and
sixteen men sitting with their thirty
two feet upon the stove, telling six
teen lies about their business and
their adventures. all at one time.
You can't get what you want in that
Anwp Tho lr,ro p,orc hoxyo r1aHn
the storekeepers buy what they have
to sell, and you've got to take it or
60 without. 1t seems almost impos-
sible that a drummer should eyer be
able to disguise his identity. He is,
as rule, aggressive and runs things.
If you see a man come into the Of
fee and step up timidly to the coun-
ter and ask the clerk if there are any
letters for him, please, you may know
that he's an humble private citizen
and plain guest. If you see fell
low bang open the door, stride in and
leave it open behind him, 60 and
hang up his coat on a peg. and jam
his yalise on the floor, walk behind
the counter, take out all the letters
aud read the addresses from every
box, open the drawer and look in,
then you'll know its drummer
good for one nights lodging and sey-
eral drinks. He generally lets every
body know that he's sold lot of
stuff. and talks very loud about the
fun he's had sometimes. But they
told me of one drummer who called
hinselfa Count, and wore long,
fur. lined ulster and an imposing for
eign-looking mustache. He came in
the sammer season and staid long
time. He was the rage; the girls
fell in love with him the mammas
admired him he was on the eve of
getting engaged to a naughty San
Francisco belle. when lady walked
into drug store one day and found
him with a lot of samples of soap,
trying to stick the proprietor with
his stock. That let him out and he
disappeared. But the profession dis
owned him, for. as a rule, the drum
mer is straightforward. open, hon.
est and enthusiastic nuisance.