Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-24
A SOUTHERN SQUIRE.
He Was Such a Good Judge of Stock That
He Overreached Himself.


Squire Wick, a lawyer, who fancies what
ne don't know amt worth pumpkins"
and whose home amt thousand miles
from the Pelican State, was great favorite
with the late Judge Cranch. Once visiting
the Judge the latter invited him to walk over
his premises. Among other places they WIS.,
tied the barnyard, and the squire was struck
with admiration as he gazed upon the noble
herd of COWS which had just been driven up
for milking. He talked as deliberately of
their different good points as would first
rate good stock-breeder, when the fact was
he knew next to nothing about stock, and
some of the good points which he spoke of
caused the judge hearty laugh-in his
sleeve.
"Well. squire" said the judge, (which of
the COWS will you takeF
(Which will l take, your honor?" said
the squire not knowing the judges mean
ing gves uh;o, vii, ro,, +.,oq ,no ro;ro 10
make you a present of one of them-which
shall it be?"
Really, your honor, this is unexpected
l will not object to the present, but had
rather your honor would make the selection,
as receivers should not be choosers."
"If you accept the present you must make
the selection Being good judge of stock
you will not be likely to cheat yourself" and
the eccentric judge smiled to himself.
The squire rubbed his gold-bowed specta-
Giles and began to view the cows with a critics
precision After much scrutiniZing he said: :
Il apprehend, your honor, you would not
iketo part with that very fat, short-horned,
thick-necked cowr
81 have no choice-make your own selec-
ton" said the judge, his risibles hardly
comfortable.
"Idont want to rob you of your favorite
COW, but if you have no choice should prefer
the very fat one; she has many good points
mo favorite-no robbery at all-the fat
COW is yours. My servant will drive her to
your house before milking"
The delighted squire FASTENED home to in
form his wife. In about an hour he saw the
--latest and best pointed COW in the village"
as he styled her, driven into his yard, and
dispatched a sable daughter of Africa to
milk her. In a few minutes in came ebony,
.1ggling and laughing. Squire Wick knew
something was to pay, and what he could
not conjure. There stood Dinah, round up"
with laughter and the empty pail dangling
by her side.
What on earth is to pay, Dinah?" in
quired the squire.
."Oh, massa, for muffin, only-ki-ki-ki,
i-i-i-he-he-e-e-er
The squire looked at his wife-she at him
then both at Dlnah, who had 'connip-
toned with laughter and settled down by
the door, her face covered with an apron
and her laughing machinery shaking her
sides at tremendous rate.
The 'squire's mad riz.
"Dinah ~ said he at the top of his voice,
tell me what's to pay or I'll throw you out
of the houser'
Dinah mastered herself long enough to
say:
"Oh, Lor, massa, muffin only dat COW of
yourn be 'gemman COW =" and then fell
into another fit of laughter
The way that Every fat short-horned,
thick-necked COW" walked back to the yard
of Judge Cranch wasn't slow, and the way
the Judge shook his sides was caution to
stock critics.-New Orleans Picayune.