Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-10-13
BEAUTIES OF POVERTY.
Sage Remarks of an Optimistic and Phil
osophical Funny Man.

Sage Remarks of an Optimistic and Phil
osophical Funny Man.
No matter how much we may desire
wealth, we should always congratulate
ourselves ON the fact that we are poor
Indeed. there is no greater blessing
than poverty, when you know how to
| reconcile yourself to it. If you are to
take the trouble to make the investiga-
ton. you will learn to your satisfaction
that ninetY-nine per cent. of the
happy people in the world are poor.
No poor man is unhappy until he
grows rich; and to prove this it is only
necessary to hear the wealthy man
abiding pathetically to the dear old
days when he only got four dollars per
week. and found himself contin ually
in debt.
The painter, who has no difficulty
in selling every thing he paints at the
top price. will go into raptures while
telling you of the jollity of his strug-
Cling days, when he painted portraits
ON political banners, made his morn
ing coffee over tallow candle, and
hungrily devoured the bread he had
used through the previous day to
Tighten his charcoal sketches. If the
artist had been rich then he would be
an amateur to-da-. Nothing but
poverty makes an artist or poet; and
this being the case, it bothers thinkin o
people to understand why we are not
even richer than we are to-day in pic
lures and metrical literature.
The rich man creates envy in the
heart of his poorer neighbor when he
goes to Rome in the spring. But his
wealth only enables him to get there to
die OF Roman fever The poorer man
stays in this country and lives on
Roman punch. Consequently, it is
better to live ON Roman punch than to
die of Roman fever. The rich young
lady mounts the prancing palfrey,
is thrown and breaks her neck;
the poor young lady gets into
breezy dollar hammock, and, with a
dainty pair of French slippers, makes
the casual passer believe that. after
all. life is worth living. The rich man
goes to the sea shore and is drowned;
the poor man stays at home and gets
fever-and-ague.
The capitalist lies awake and kicks
about all night, wondering how much
he won't be worth in the morning; the
impoverished hod-carrier sleeps the
sleep of the innocent, and wouldn't
awake in time to resume his bod at the
appointed hour if he were not struck
with hammer
1t is pleasant to see rich man de-
irving comfort from poor mans
plaster; and it is pleasant to see poor
man skipping around like spring.
lamb, yearning for little Phila-
delphia mint sauce, while the rich man,
with number four feet, is wearing a
pair of number fifteen slippers on &C
count of his govt.
Some people are of the opinion that
the goods of this world are not prop
erly divided. This is fallacious the
DRY. 1t is the poverty of this world
that is not properly divided. For in
stance. we ourselves have more than
we want or are entitled to, that we
would like to close out on easy terms.
Some people have great deal more
poverty than others; and that's where
the trouble comes in. No man can get
rich without working, and very few
men can remain rich unless they stop
working in time. There are many
men swamped by remaining in bust
ness. Only the wealthy enjoy this
life' is very pretty as far as euphony
is concerned; but it is not true; be-
cause, just as soon as man acquires
wealth. he becomes afflicted with new
mown hay fever or tuberose cold.
When you see man with hay fever
or rose cold, you may wager all you
can lay your hands on that he is rich.
If poor man could acquire either of
these maladies, it would not be neces-
sary for him to dress well, or be at all
fastidious. Say what you will. pow
erty is a great blessing; if it were not,
it would not be the common lot of
man. -Puck.