The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-28
BRIGHT BITS.

A NEW YORK NEWSPAPER declares that Sarah
Bernhardt is a born ruler" Aha so the fell
lows who thought it was a broomstick were
way off.-Burttagton Free Press.
FIRST doctor, who is ill, to brother doctor who
is attending him-I can't tell what ais me.
What do you think the plumbago begins with?
Second Doctor-Why, with P, OF course
1erds SiftingS.
"MY YOUNG FRIEND he said solemnly, do
you ever attend place of Worship"
Yes, sir, regularly. every Sunday night" re-
Piled the youth. TIN on my way to see her
now. "-Ne,D York Sun.
THE State Medical Society at its recent session
at Lansing took no action against writing pre-
scrptions in Latin, and the public will still have
to pay 81 65 for vial of salt and water, written:
Chloride of sodium, three Saw-teeth; aqua
fontana f. S. m.--DetrOn Free Press.
CITIZEN TO tramp)-What do you do for
living?
Tramp-walk.
Citizen-And what do these fellows summing
themselves on the bank do?
Tramp-Oh, they ere lay brethren Burling-
ton Free Press
FIRST BRITIsH NoBLEMAN-Have you-aw-
seen the Wild West show?
Second Dftto-I cawn't say that have.
1T represents life in the city. Of Buffalo, you
know, most realistically rendered by United
States Congressman Bill who represents Buff
falo borough. Toledo Commercial
FIRST SWEET CHILD-Oh Isn't ii lovely How
l wish could have some real old lace, too.
Second Sweet Child-Mamma bought this yes
terday. It's Just common lace like yours.
f. S. C.--Why. / thought it was the same kind
those Bonanza children wear.
S. S. C.--No, l just tulabled down in the mud
-Ifd-Btts.
A DARBY, being brought before the magistrate
Haven't you been in Jail for stealing chickens
once before?'
mo, sab; no, indeed, hain't Praise de Lawd
| for his infinite mussy, nobody han't cotched me
| yet Hit seems as eff | was purtected by de
| higher powers. "-Erchdllge.
FIRST OMAHA MAN-Going away this summer?
| Second Omaha Man-No. Can't afford it.
| Rent your house furnished?"
Tried that once Cost more for repairs than
| the rent came to-
Then lock it up?''
II tried that once, too. It's too expensive"
"Expensivef
Yes, gas meter goes like steam-engine
when there is no one to watch it."-Omaha
| World.
FIRST Young WIFE-What on earth are you
| doing at that mirror, Clara?
Second Young Wife-I'm practieing making
| wrinkles; I've almost forgotten how.
Wrinkles OF all things Don't you know a
man likes to have his wife look youmg?'
Indeed do. John is going with me to select
q new bonnet this afternoon, and if he sets his
mind on q cheap bonnet he will discover that it
makes me look as old as his grandmother. -
| Omaha World
| ONE of our leading organists not long ago re-
| ceived new piano pupll-a young lady-who,
| in order to show her stage of requirement
| played piece which she had brought with her
| Il happened that the piece ended with the same
| chord several times repeated but when she
reached the closing passage she struck the chord
once and then stopped, letting her hands fall
| into her lap.
| well, " said the teacher, ''why don't you play
| the rest!n
| "Oh," replied the young musician, with a
| shrug, whats the Use? The rest of the chords
! re all like that one. '-Hdrper's Weekly.