The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-10-23

| do not think much Of any actress now on the
stage. and my appearance would doubtless be
accepted by critical public in the light of q
revelation. If the part of Henrietta in your
new play is as strong as Lady Macbeth should
like to hear from you. naming terms for the
above qualities"
"Gaun Hame."
Farewell she said, and she waved her hand
From the stately ship. as it left the land
Farewell" said she.
II am gaun ava to my ain countree,
Where the gowans grow. and my laddie lies
Caud in his grave. where the Ochils rise
To the land o the leal. where my mither dear,
Has slumbered for mony lang. lang year.
Ghaist like. I've wandered the warld sue wide,
wae-worn lassie-an unlo ed bride
An now. the simmer grows sad and sere
An my days draw doun to the last dim year,
am driftin ava frae a frien less shore, .
To the home o tho happy, ance m ore. ance more. :
The ship went down in the roaring sea.
But the lady-she reached her lain countree."
u. N. Matthews.
HUMOROUS.
why He Was Afraid.
Strset-car Conductor ito countrymanl-'If
you saw him picking the gentlemans pocket,
why didn't you interfere instead OF letting him
get awayF'
Countryman-'I saw that sign ND there, Be
ware OF pickpockets. an, b. gosh I was fraid
to-"
Lincoln Journal.
Talking about longevity, think my father
took the angel cake"
"A Methusaleh, was he9 How old was hel"
"Oh, l don't know his age, but he sent a poem
to monthly magazine in his youth and lived to
it published"
He Agreed to It.
Pfttsburg Chronicle.
.Mr Snyderiy, hear that you referred to me
liar"
Yes, sir, 1 did What are you going to do
about it2'
Il was going to ask you to put it down on
paper for me- I want to get job in Omaha
real estate Office. and l don't need a better
recommendation"
What Graveled Him Most.
'Kicked you out, did her sympathized
friend with a walking delegate who had found
himself suddenly projected to the sidewalk in
front of a manufacturing establishment
Yes but that wasn't the worst of it F"
.Nor
what pains me most is the fact that the boot
he kicked me with wasn't union made"
Comfort for John.
New York Sun.
gone3" asked the sick man.
Eyes. john" replied the stricken wife, land
/ will see that your grave is kept green, and all
that"
will you marry again7'
81 can never love any one but you. John and
if marry again he will have to have money"
Then He Would "smile."
Texas siftings.
Moses Schaumbure Ito his clerk)-Mishter
Silverstone. wish you would schmie a leedle.
Ike Siiverstone-Vy So Mshter Schaumburg2
Mose-Pecause you have such discontinued
oppression of counteuance dot you drives does
customers dot sthore out
Ike S-Ogscuse me, Mishter Schaumb burg.
toliers and half week, will make customers
but If you will only increase my wages to twelef
peleeve dot have daken laughing gas.
The Laws Delay.
The Epoch
.Gentlemen," thundered the Judge to the con-
tending lawyers, this case must be settled be-
fore the court adj ourns. There has been diliy-
dallying enough. Well, what is i'll" he said.
turning to a court attendant who had ventured
bespeak the judicial attention. az am very
busy "a couple of political friends. of yours"
whispered the attendant. ''are outside waiting
aton." said his Honor. 81 declare this court ad-
journed until TO morrow at IL o'clock"
A Foreigners Mistake.
Distinguished Foreener-"Yes. have trav-
eled great deal in this country, and 1 cannot
help won dering why your government does not
catch these train robbers. and lock Thorn up."
American-"Have You met train -robbersg"
PLENTY of them: they're everywhere it seems
to me, but must say they are very polite for
highwaymen."
.'Polite2"
Very; and notice, too, that they are all col
ooh. those are not train-robbers; those are
porters.
Acquainted with the Old Man.
Teacher-Now. Johnny. suppose your father
has income of FIVE thousand dollars a year
your mammals clothes; fifty dollars for his own
clothing. and one thousand dollars in miscel-
laneous expenses, How much will he have at
the end of the yearf
Johnnie latter mature Observation-Disclosures
thousand dollars.
Teacher-Eleven thousand dollars You don't
seem to know your aritb metic.
Johnnie-Well, know pop. Hes a nader
man, he is!
The Use of Slang
Clergyman-s.Nothing better illustrates the
degeneracy OF the age than the extent to which
slang is now used.'
II should remark"
'People who claim refinement interlard their
sentences with slang words"
.'You bet"
Even the ladies cannot talk without Singing
in lot of sewer language"
''Yes, they get there just as we'll as the
men"
ct makes me tired to think of IT.
"Here too"
The Law Laid Down.
Boston Transcript.
The edct has gone forth-two buttons on the
polished shirt for full-dress occasions; four
buttons the vest; cravat fastened with invisible
pins those with diamonds pearls of fantastic
design being taboo 1t is not stated whether napkin
win be held up this when picks his teeth
with his fork.
ADJUSTMENTS.
GRAND OPERA HOUSE.
FRIDAY and SATURDAY EVENINGS. Oct % and
%. and SATURDAY MATINEE only.
JAMES 0'NEILL,
PRESENTING
lIOMnH NDIQnO