Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-06-22
Y1isGellanepns &eadiug.
THE LIMEkILN CLUB.

Elder Toots rose to a question of priv.
lege. He had heard it flung out that ne
was living with his fifth wife and that the
two had INDUCED in quarrels which dis
graced the neighborhood. He desired to
submit proofs that she was only his fourth
wife and that they lived in such a perfect
state of happiness that he never knew
whether his shirt buttons were Oft or on:
eve oan' keer fur de proofs, Brudder
Toots," observed the president "you has
MT bin ofishually charged wild any mis-
conduct befo' de club, an we can took no
aXshun."
"But I desiah to squar myself, sah.".
"You am squared, Brudder Toots, an
kin consider yerself discharged on suspend
ed sentence. Sot down an 60 to Sleep"
A FAVORABLE SHOWING.
The committee on climatic asylums and
the causes thereof signified their willing
ness to report on the following query, pre-
sented by the State board of health OF
Ohio: 'Is the per cent. of lunatics among
the coIored people growing larger or de-
creasing? Is the per cent. of colored lu-
natics greater than the per cent. OF the
whitesw
Col. Sylvester Rackabus, chairman ofthe
committee, reported that his committee
had made faithful and diligent inquiry
and looked up all the authorities, and had
the deep satisfaction of being able to re-
port that the per cent. Of lunacy was de-
creasing very rapidly. AS to the other
query. it had been found that nineteen
white persons went crazy to one colored
man. The negro was not only a very lev
el-headed citizen, but his mind was nailed
down to stay, and his philosophy was
something to boast of.
On motion of Samuel Shin, who once
worked in an insane asylum for a year at
running the steam heating, the report was
accepted and adopted, and Brother Gard
ner complimented the committee on its
vigorous work. ,
Giveadam Jones, travelling lecturer and
i%nstallator, desired to report on the appll-
cation of the ozark Shades" of Hender-
son, KY, for a branch charter. He had
been down there and made the %acquaint-
ance of Setback johnson, Hardheel Smith,
Turkey Davis, 'Possum Williams, and
other applicants, and it was his opinion
that no branch could be organized to do
honor to the parent club. Most of the
twenty.eight applicants chewed the mean
est kind of plug tobacco, kept fighting
dogs and played policy, and two OF them
were just quito Of the county Jail for larceny:
His report was accepted and adopted, and
no charter will be granted.
WORKING WELL.
The Committee on Patents and Copy
rights, to whom was submitted the query /:
"What is the torpedo chicken, and how
does it work." begged leave to report as
follows: .
"De torpedo chicken ar de invenshun of
de Hon. Hannibal Hamlin, of Maine. 1t
was invented to decimate the culPd race.
It ar a facsimile Of pullet, made Of zinc,
an filled wild powder an slugs. When
fastened to de roost it SO closely resembles
the real bird dat de wisest ole niger in
de bizness can't tell the difference. He
strikes a match, reaches out to pull de pull
let off de pole, an dar' am a 'sploshun
which shakes de nayborhood IN causes
anoder we'll known citizen to turn up mis-
sim. AS to decimatin' de cull'd race, it
hasn't dun it. De alarm was sounded at
an airly date, an de great majority of our
people turned from chicken to Goldfish.
Now an den some ole hen ~stealer, who
can't let business die entirely out, am de
victim of de torpedo, but de wise man
passes de hen coop afur off an saves his
bacon" .
The report was accepted with profound
gratitude and admiration, and then the
meeting went home.-Detroit Free Press.