The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-03-19
THE DRUMMER DID IT.
Siass OF Honest and Enthusiastic
Nuisnnces Who Never Dlc.

Nuisances Who Never Die.
All investigations by archmologists into the
various races and their history break on mi
e&phcable influence that seems to connect
r r,y dlherent places, periods and peoples.
iney linu Old Jars in use in India that the
mound builders had here, and they come
across IRON teaspoons in the primeval forest
pe.is OF coal They are astonished TO find the
gridiron OF the north OF Ireland figuring in
INC social life OF China three or four thousand
years ago. The Bedouin Arab has the army
blanket p OF the Esquimaux, and in the ruins of
lpulpeh they come across peanut shells like
VIVA. 'he sweeper sweeps out of the gallery of
tue 1heatre to-day. Well, why is thisl ARCHIE
ologists cannot tell can. The mysterious
ubiquitous influence that leaves no track saye
the article is simply the drummer. It was
inc drummer who did it ALL He left those
curious Grecian scrolls in Egypt; he carved
.nose hieroglyphics on the rocks of ancient
biltain; he is the man who introduced French
candy into Herculaneum and stuck the
mound builders with iron teaspoons.
do you ever know what becomes Of "A
uruihlner' Not that you care, but have YOU
ever seen dead drummer? don't believe
drummers die. l believe they simply talk
themselves into gas "Gas thou art, 20 gas
returnest," was written OF the drummer. |
nave met one or two men who have been
drummers, but they do not talk much about
IT, When drummer gets tired of talking
he just disappears. l do not see how this
country survives the existence of drummer-s.
You 80 into u small country place: YOU step
into tho hotel; you find in the office sixteen
coats hanging up on the wall and sixteen
Vaiises in p row on the floor and sixteen men
sitting with their thrty-two feet up on the
stove, telling sixteen lies about their business
una Their adventures, all at one time You
can't get " nat you want in that town. The
drummers have made the store keepers buy
what they have to sell, and you've got to take
It or go without 1t seems almost impossible
to believe that drummer should ever lie
able to disguise his identity. He is, as "a rule
aggressive and runs things.
III you see a man come into the office of a
hotel and step up timidly to the counter and
ask the clerk if there are any letters for him.
please, you may know that he's q humble
private citizen and plain guest. If you see
fellow bang open the door, stride in and
leave it open behind him, go and hang his
coat ON peg and jam his valise on the floor,
walk behind tho counter, take out all the let
tiers and read the addresses from every box,
open tho drawer and look in, then you'll know
its drummer-good for one nights lodging
and several drinks. He generally lets every
body know that he's sold lot of stuff, and he
talks very loud about the fun he's had some
times. But they told me of one drummer
who called himself a count, and wore long
fur lined ulster and an imposing foreign look
ing mustache He came in the summer sea-
son and stayed a long time. He was the rage;
the girls fell in love with him; the mammas
admired him; he was ON the eve of getting
engaged to a naughty San Francisco belle,
when lady walked into drug store one day
and found him with lot of samples of soap,
trying to stick the proprietor with his stock
That let him out and he disappeared. But
the profession disowned him. for us a rule the
drummer is straightforward, open, honest
and enthusiastic nuisance-San Francisco
Chronicle.