The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-08
THE CONQUERING HERO
BY GEORGE PECK

One of the best practical jokes l have heard of for many years was per- petrated at Waupun, last week, and it was carried out so admirably that even the victim himself has good laugh whenever he thinks of it. There is a travelling man named Hagen, whose headquarters are at Madison.
 He formerly lived at Waupun, and about every man, woman and child in
 Waupun knows him, and when he visits his old home there is smile on every face, and warm grasp of every hand. His old friends meet him at the depot, freeze to him during his stay, and see him off in good shape.
 He is great wag, and has often given me pointers on good stories that l have written up, and which have been copied and read all over the world. There is new landlord at Waupun, a gentleman named Stickles, who has not yet got acquainted with all the people who live there. When Hazen appeared in front of the hotel one evening, accompanied by several prominent citizens, and was intro- duced to the new landlord as "Gov- ernor Rusk," Mir. Stickles felt that his cup of joy was full enough. He had never had a governor under his roof, and his breast swelled with pride as he saw the great man register the great name of "Jerry" on the book, and later he walked through his dining room with conflicting emotions, and his thumbs in his vest, as he gazed upon the governor and saw him place hot biscuits and honey under his vest. After supper the governor and some prominent citizens went out to the prison, and the land lord decided to give him a reception, on his return. He argued that a re- ception was no more than a governor deserved at the hands of a loyal Re
 publican who kept hotel, and it was not an hour before the hotel was transformed into brilliant palace
 Flowers and vines were procured and festooned everywhere that the limited time would permit. Chinese lanterns were hung in doors, windows, ver- anda railings, everywhere, and the sIlOlc OtCi WOIIlCi brave men. The cornet band was hired and stationed in balcony, ready to play the "Conquering Hero" business on Jerry, when he should re-
 turn. When the party in the hack drew up to the hotel they saw the preparations that had been made to receive the governor" the crowd of citizens about the house, and then
 Hagen weakened. He said he was in for a joke, and did not hesitate to be introduced as the governor, just to get one on Stickles, but he didn't want to be illuminated, and wanted to back out, because the thing was too serious. But Hobkirk, Democrat who used to be mayor, said he would introduce the governor, and then the governor could give the snap away if he wanted to. So the band began to play, "See the conquering Hero Comes," the party emerged from the hack, and two friends took the gov ernor by an arm each, and escorted him through the crowd to the parlor, where the landlord, in evening dress,
 was stationed to receive his distin- guished guest. The crowd followed, smiling, nearly all of them knowing Hazen, and the sell that was being perpetrated on the landlord. When quiet was restored, and the band had blowed of the last end of the con- quering hero, and Hazen was looking as solemn as though he had been short on wheat, Mir. Hobkirk stood upon hair-cloth sofa that was slippery, but he stuck his toe nails in and said
 MIR. LANDLORD AND FELLOW CITI- ZENs l have the pleasure of intro- ducing to you our governor, Jerry Rusk. (Applause from Stickles.) It may seem strange to you that one of party opposed to the governor, should be selected to introduce him, but I assure you, that while I never was very much mashed on his rotten old party, my heart beats warmly for him as a man and thoroughbred. (Applause from Stickles) Waupun has never had as many governors among her guests as she ought to have had. (Here the governor" smiled a sickly smile, as he thought of the peni- tentiary few blocks away, the crowd laughed, and Stickles looked mad enough to fight) Look upon the fair face of our distinguished guest, gentlemen, and what do you see? ('4Cheek," yelled merchant who had bought goods of Hazen for twenty years. Everybody laughed except the landlord, and he looked around for the man who said @cheek," i" 10 put him out.) You see face, gentlemen, that all are proud of, regardless of party. Here is man who governs the proud est state of all the qalaxv of states. in