St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-01-09
THE TRAMPs LYCEUM.

o"oh last w euneSQay night there was all
unusually large attendance The cold hac
driVen them into the headquarters in large
numbers. and prior to being called to order
Tue iil-smelling quarters where the meetings
are held had become a little more oreide thar
usual. A few minutes after O'clock Pres
ioent Blatz pounded on the head of the nail
Keg' and, after telling Omaha Bob that il
was contrary to the rules to squirt tobacco
juice On the stove when it was at red heat
ne announced that the gathering was ready
10 come to the first order of business.
Clothesline Williams arose and said he
thought it was time the lyceum took steps
toward Incorporating under the laws of the
state. Yer see." he said, by way of eX.
pianatlon. yer see, it wud give us standin
III ther communerty that we orter hev, an
that we can't git no other way. / hev beer
lookln up Their law on Their subject. an
am inclined ter think we orter do 1t. Wher
er concern is incorporated it is rec
ognlzed by the laws. We ortel
be putin on more style than
we hev been doin. We amt recognized III
Their community as we ortel be. Their cham
Der oy commerce don't ask us ter send joint
committees ter confer on ther Regin bill, mol
| on the smoke ordinance. Now if we wus
Incorporated we could hev more attentions
then are comm our way now. When so
clety IS Incorporated it has the right ter sue
and be sued, and all other purquisites."
When Williams mentioned this last ad.
vantage Pensive Pete. who had apparently
been sleeping, arose with
WILD, UNTAMED LOOK
IN his eye, such as few members of the ly.
ceum had ever seen there. Yer dynamiter,
yer anarchist. who in thunder wants ter be
sued or ter sue anybody" he said. shaking
his fist in Clotheslne Williams face. Del
yer think Yer can make this lyceum er bar as.
ISOLATION? Dog gon yer, if yer had er stick
er red sealin wax on yer jaw an eplurebus
unum writ across yer yer would make
good copy er ther revised statutes. Who
III thunder wants ter be sued? Yer are
irwin ter break up ther gang. Yer are a
dynamiter, nihilst. er member er thel
Lehr und Wehr verein tryin ter incite Ell
| mob"
While he had been talking Pensive Pete
had moved slowly toward Williams whose
feelings were gradually rising. When Pete
concluded Williams Kissed, Don't call me
| none er them long names that you don't
understand ther meanin' of. Them is
fghtin' words yer heve uttered, an its
square agn my principles ter take EN- from
eliy man. Put up yer dukes" and with the
word he struck PensVe Pete a terrific blow
square betw cen the eyes. For moment
| there was confusion in the lyceum. Wind
gall Blatz pounded vigorously on the top of
the barrel and yelled for order. Omaha
Bob. who had been lying on the floor lost
three teeth from violent contact with
ClotheSline Williams bootheel and Mon
tana Charley was struck in the pit of the
stomach by Pensive Pete's knee. The two
conbatantS We're having a catch as catch
can, and it was fully five minutes before
they could be separated. This was finally
accomplished by President BlatZ inserting
his axe handle in Will ans mouth and pry-
Ing open his jaws sufficiently to allow the
release of PenSive Pete's nose. Pete had
gotten the worst of it. and when his assail
ant had been pulled away to the farther
| side of the room he drew himself bruised
and bleeding. together and after borrowing
chew of tobacco from Texas jim. he w ELI
to his place beside the biz bellied stove. his
feelings apparently somewhat wounded.
No sooner had President BlatZ called the
lyceum together again than Peusive Pete,
holding
HIS BRUISED NOSE
In one hand. arose and formally rendered
| his resignation as All active member of the
club. He stated that the action of Mr..
Clothesline w llians that evening had a
strong tendency to make him tired, and as
the sympathy of the gathering seemed to be
with Williams he could not consistently al
low his name TO remain on the list.
Yer hev heerd Their remarks of Pensve
Pete" said the president. What action
will yer take on the resignation"
Williams uhn aVidaO apinJ-inCr l,e
discontinue of his late opponent. and haC
| dec ded 10 rub it in on him, arose.
Has ther gentleman paid up all his
dues?" he asked. in Sneering tone. Ii
he has | move that we let him out. FL
man that can't stand er joke without gittin
mad amt no nit member fer us ter assoc ate
with | move a vote Of thanks to thel
gentleman fer tenderin his resignatiUn."
'Ther motion is out OF ORDER said the
president. Il find by consultin' Their con.
stitution that under Their rules Their resigna-
ton must lay on Their table fer two weeks
an if that is Their case we will lay it over"
The remarks of W Iliams and the ruling
of he president did not suit Pens We Pete,
and he arose. shook his fist at his late an
tagGnist, and walked out of the room. Just
remarking: Il hey been abused GALL | care
ter. helped make this Iyceum what it is
an now l gives it Their grand shake. AS
RegerluS once remarked ter the Carthagin-
ians: i goes. but I'm comm back erg.n, D"
and he was gone.
The members had been expecting a fresh
set-tO, and had arisen during this parting
speech. Blatz soon Quieted them except
for few ia Mt whisper ngs in the corners.
Il wus intendjn' ter introduce er delegate
from Their lyceum at Salt Lake City ter
,if-t+ D,1f+ l-o Iai- = l,o
unpleasant occurrence that yer hev all wit
messed, yer are in no mood ter be trit1ed
with an Rattlesnake Jake will not be
brought in"
SOME ADVICE.
I'm place Of the reglar exercises l will
jest give yer er little advice. an will ad
journ. l want ter tell yer that it ant allus
ther serciety that puts on Their most style
tibet has Their biggest career in this universe.
Their suntlOwer puts on lots o style.
but ther rosebud gets pickle fer
ther bokay. Their oak tree is er fin thing
ter look at but Their punken vine i what
we gets Their pies from. The lion is ther
king ov beasts. but the timid calf is whar
we gifts our veal. Their trouble tonight all
ariz froD hankerin' fer notoriety. Eff
we don't rank big ez corporation. we kin
come in here in feeling er brotherly love
and lend each other our chewin' terbacker.
want ter caution all of yer aginst pride,
and bein pulled up. There's nothin' in it
an it must all pass erway like er dish er
beans mets beneath an able bodied appe-
tite. Agin 1 say. beware of putin on
style. There's nothin' in it,
just before adjournment it was an
nouneed that an applicat on for the estab-
lishment of a branch lyceum in Mlnneapo-