Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-02-26
HAPPENED.

"tDoes everything happen for the bests'
FtDon't know. If get chance to try those
things that do not happen, I'll find out. st.
Louis Critic.
Nearly three hundred divorces in Phila-
delphia last year. Love in that city seems
to be more brotherly than anything else.-
Oil City Blizzard.
Even lion tanner may sometimes excite
the envy of married man. He can step
into the cage when his wife is after him with
rolling Philadelphia Call.
A man will not submit to being called
either puppy, hound or a cur, but if he is
pronounced sad dog he accepts the stigma
as if it were a conpliment.-Sa Francisco
Examiner.
A poet has written some lines entitled II
owe No man Dollar" This, if true, is
conclusive evidence that he is engaged in
some other business than writing poetry
Norristown Herald
A newly married lady was telling another
how nicely her husband could write. ''Oh,
you should Just see some of his love letters. "
eyes, 1 know" was the freezing reply; s'Ive
got bushel of 'em in my trunks"
s'In Armenia the bride is not allowed to
speak in the presence of her husbands moth
En-" A legend exists that in America there
are times when the husband is not allowed
to speak in the presence of his wifes mother.
-Norristown Herald.
We learn from scientific journal that call
modern high explosives are now almost uni
versally exploded by the agency of electrici-
ty" There is one notable exception. Coal
oil is still exploded by the agency of the
hired girl and cook stove.-Jersey City
Journal.
Little Dick-tI hope Canada and this
country will fight" Mamma-''You mustn't
talk that way" stWell, do hope so, an
hope this country will get licked like every
thing" F'Why, Dick. what good would that
do?' 'sThen we wouldn't have no more cod
liver oil."-Omaha World.
The press is pretty unanimous in the
declaration that the coal stove must be ban
ished from the railroad passenger car. Let
| middle of next July it will be impossible
to find a coal fire in single pas
senger car in this country.-Norristown
Herald.
If you tell the waiter in an Olive street
restaurant that you want beefsteak, he
| shouts to the kitchen: slaughter in the
PAN" Potatoes unpeeled are murphy with
| his coat on;'' two eggs fried on one side are
called for with the sunny side up;" buck
| wheat cakes are spoken of in gambler fash
| ion as ffstack of reds" and batter cakes as
''Stack of whites. st. Louis Globe.
An unidentified exchange tells the fol-
lowing: An estimable lady of the west side
has had the "fortune" of three husbands
two having passed over to the majority. By
| the first husband there is son; by the sec
| ond very bright little daughter. One day
| while some lady friends were lunching with
the mother, the little girl asked: mamma,
has Jack paper in heavenE" eyes, darling;
| hush!' replied mamma. ''Have I a papa in
heaven:" Eyes, darling; hush!" repeated
mamma. After a moments pause and pro
found thinking, the little maid added:
'Papas don't last long, do they, mammal
/ No answer is recorded.
An ethereal maid called Maud,
Was suspected of being fraud.
| Scarce crumb was she able
| To eat at a table
| But III the back pantry o Lawd!