The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-01-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
"Pa," asked small boy who was Just begin
ming his education 30 you ever miss any Of the
ayes, sonny annwered the father readily, 81
often miss ""
Is your life worth 20 cents? If it is do not ne
gect a cough or cold. Use Dr. Bulls Cough syr
up at once and be cured by that never falling
remedy.
ANY one suffering from rheumatism OF neural
ga would do wen to use Salvation Oil. Price 20
cents.
What Is Jigson in mawning for, do you know9
"Its either faw his bwothaw aw his dawg. One
OF 'em died lawst week, but WEAKLY fawget which
it was"
Lydia E. PinlIham's Vegetable Compound re
moves faintness, fiatulency, destroys all craving
for stimulants and relieves weakness of the stom-
ach.
Uncle Zeke, did you go to the poultry exhibit
mo Massa Jones, couldn't spah de time"
But thought you were fend of chickens?'
80 is Massa Lones but de fac is l was atreed
to trust myself dar. 1t affecs me powerful 10 sec
dem air birds in captivity"
way ASh 9Ou ny NditNA D l$eeAS N''N- ~
They are positive cure for sick headache, and
all the ills produced by disordered Liver Only
one pill Dose.
Clara--They say Charley is a great catch, and
that all the girls are running alter MN Dut toI
mires. '-' : ~" ~ "''D'
Snsan-Perhaps you do not know that his moth
er has the reputation OF being wretched COOK.
Clara-Is that so? He'll make splendid hus-
band for somebody"
THERE'S no one article in the line Of medicines,
that gives so large return for the money as
good porous strengthening plaster such as Car
ter's Smart Weed and Belladonna Backache Plas-
ters
Miss V--You seem to be best man at all the
weddings, Mr.. B. When are you going to take
Mr. B.-Oh, there are as good bait in the sea as
Miss Yves, but don't you think the bait is
getting little stale?
vegetne is most perfect ladies' tonic. Pleas
ant and always satisfactory
"Yes," he said to the young lady whose good
opinion he was anxious to capture, "Yes, indeed
Ibelieve that young men should be economical"
$50 do IL she ardenty replied; "but then 0ys-
tiers occasionally can hardly be called extrava-
gance."
The Rapidity of Progress Toward
Health, even when good remedy for disease is
selected, depends in some measure upon the man
ner in which it is taken. Irregular, interrupted
doses can afford no fair test of the efficacy OF any
medicine, however sautary. Taken IN proper
doses at prescribed intervals, reliable cura-
tive will effect the object of its use. Among
remedies which, Systematically and perslstently
used, accomplish thorough and lasting cures, and
prevents the recurrence OF periodic disease, Hos
letters Stomach BitterS ranks specially hlgh. In
cases OF dyspepsia. debility, rheumatism. fever
and ague liver complaint, inactivity OF the KID
news and bladder, constipation, and other organic
maladies, 1t is tried remedy, 10 which the medl-
cal.brotherhood have lent their professional sane
ton, and which as tonic, Alternative and house
hold specific for disorders OF the stomach, liver
and bowels has an unbounded popularity.
Kansas City Young Lady-Yes, Miss Sloe gets
her beautiful dark eyes and raven hair from her
great grandmother, who was the daughter OF an
Indian chief you know. She has Indian blood III
her veins. ~.
and PlantageneIs courses through my veins.
Kansas City Young Lady-Indeed! l don't
know the tribes.
Lydia L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is
positive cure for all those weaknesses so common
TO our best female population.
Benevolent fsdy-COlne in, my poor man, and
will get you something to eat.
Tramp-Thanlly. mum; don't care II do.
Benevolent LADY, suppose your lie mas been
full of trials?
Tramp~Yis, mum; and the wust of it wuz
alluZ got convicted