Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-06-15

JIG q 1OW hlOkO SOANAAS VI ~~N
apropisms. Thus, we hear of cholera NOR
bus being turned into "mollery corbus,"
and Of q local eight" bidding some n
beware of ''inundations'' in religion.
Amusing, too, is the unintentional perver-
sion of a we'll known line-"From Ice
lands greasy mountains" A villager,
asked if Mr.. M. lived in a certain house,
replied, eyes, he lives there, but he is
dead" But that is rather an lrishism
than a Malaprop.-L0ndon GLOBE.
JUST AS EFFECTIvE.-A paralytic young
woman, who had been unable to walk for
years, was conveyed to a revival meeting
one night recently, and during prayer she
suddenly arose, gave an ear piercing shout,
climbed over three pews, gained the aisle
and made a dash for the pulpit. 1t was not
another faith cure, as many persons in the
congregation supposed. She had simply
seen a mouse in her pew near her feet
NorTistoun Herald.
sd- "I'm going to speak my mind at that
meeting tonight, and don't you forget it,"
said an irate Metropolitan clubster to his
wife.
"Going to speak it plainly, are you,
dear?" she asked quietly.
ayes, I am; Pm going to speak my
mind, my whole mind, and nothing but
my mind!"
"What a short speech it will be-" she
said.
@-"Why, Jones, what are you doing in
the city 2" inquired Robinson. 81 thought
you were going to sail for Europe on yes
terday's steamer"
81 thought so, too, but a woman arrested
me for breach of promise lust as the steam
er vas about to start"
"Breach of promise! How can that be ?
/ supposed that you were a married man."
$50 I am. I was arrested for breach of
promise to pay a milliner's bill.'
nag First Girl-"Miss Beauty is engaged
to Mr.. Smikes. Do you know him."
Second Girl-"Ido not remember him"
"If you'd ever seen him you wouldn't
forgetit. He's the homeliest, ugliest look
ing man in all Nebraska"
HE is ?"
Eyes; she couldn't have found a more
becoming husband anywhere. His face
sets off hers gloriously."
pF- 81 want you to notice that butter
dish" said the landlady to her boarders,
II think a great deal of it. It's an old
piece of china-an heirloom, you know"
EYES," said Potts, who was the Oldest
boarder. II can certify to the truth of
that statement. I have often seen a hair
loom up in it."
Hereafter Potts will have to pay his
board in advance.
A CoMPRoMIsE.-"John, I wish you
would rock the baby"
"What'H ! rock the baby for
HIooorca ho 10 MT yory SVan And
what's more, half of him belongs to you
and YOU should not object to rock him."
"Well, don't half belong to you"
eyes,"
"Well, you can rock your half and let
my half holler."
I- 81 hear that Smith is contesting his
Wife's WILL" said one Dakota man to an
other a day or two ago. II don't know
how that may be-" replied the other, but
1 am quite sure of n thing" "Whats
that ?'' "Smith never contested his wife's
will while she was alive. He seems to be
getting courageous his SAD af1llc-
ton ."-Dakota Bell.
The PRACTICAL SIDE.-"You should
try t%o}conquer this taste for strong drink"
said a Temperance advocate to a tramp.
ut will bring you to a bad end, and the
saddest thing in this world is for a man to
die poor"
"Come off," irreverently replied the
hardened sinner; ''that amt half as bad
as to live poor"
ssr Old Gentleman-'Here, sir, you are
a regular fraud g.! My hair is coming out
as bad as ever. This stuff isn't worth a
continental"
Barber-"I didn't promise thatit would
keep your hair from coming out. I said it
would preserve your scalp. Your scalp's
all there, isn't it,"
THE ROOT OF ALL EvIL.-Old Minister
Ito young Minister)-Paul was a wonder
full man, my dear young brother, a Won
derful man and thousands upon thousands
hocked to hear him preach.
Young MINISTRIES, if Paul were alive
to-day he would only have to name the sal
airy he9wanted.-N. Y. San.