The Dillon tribune., 1887-05-06
f;osTuS, Feb. ~. lsS..


NJ, Sy.-I have enjoycd eli your writings il.
The Globe ever 81, much. ana noticing that you
E:vc given great deal Of advice free. th"HSht
thnt possibly you would tell me tho best met..tf:
of gettin;, rid of impertinent SounG man.
whose room is much preferable TO his company.
Hoping that do not intrude on your valuable
time. Yours truly, -.
You do not say why you wish to get r'tt
of tho young man, nor do you state what
is the matter with him: whether he is :.
moor couvcrsationulist or too fluent in that
line; whether the first two joints of his
finger and thumb arc yellow with cigar
ettc stains, or what his leading character
istics are. Possibly he has fatty degcncr-
alton OF the thinker.
However, you say he is all impudcnt
young man, and / infer that you have
gone through the prcliminarics Of gentle
scorn and such things as that. Now,
what shall we do to make him fully un'
tlerstand that you do not want him to re-
main:
Perhaps you have such IL thing as Il
younger brother about the house. II so,
bring him in and let him toy with the
young man few hours. You can excuse
yourself while you ostcnsibly put on your
other dress, and il you delay long enough
you can cause the young man great deal
of intense suffering. You can take the
right kind of u younger brother, with in.
l:mmatory hair and white eyes and warts
on his thumbs and cc;aOn cracks in the
backs Of his hands, and ii yo,, properly
"sicls'' tho DO; on his prey and fasten Tho
door securely you can come back in an
hour and do anything you want to with
that young man. / know this to lie true,
for have been the young man myself.
have also been the boy.
OTHER lNDIcA.Tsls.
have known :. young man who in
tested II ho,is<. that way to be cradicatc,l
by '2ea7,s of ,.-y sod music. They do not
die in !'c house.
ing ut his funny anecdotes Wait till he
up in your eyes for n twinkle of merri-
ment. That is the time to refrain from
twinkling Wait till he gets to tho nuh
of the joke. MS it were, and pricks up his
ears to listen for wild burst of silvery
laughter. That is the time to hang on to
Your silvcry laughter. It will give him n
panied expression OF countenance, and
you will see him soon after look at hia
watch. When he completes his story,
suddenly wake up and ask him il that is
all. Few men can endure this for over
two weeks.
Of course there are other and more
radical methods of accomplishing the re-
suit you wish, but these are tho ones moro
common in the hest society. l naturally
supposed thar you wanted the methods
used in the hest society. or you would
have gone elsewhere instead Of coming
to me.
Should you finally wish to bc more Sc
we're, however, you can invite u young
girl to he present during the young mans
stay. l would suggest that this young
girl be fluent talker on the subject cf
clothes. II yo,, beth keep the talk going
pretty we'll while the young man looks ut
tho album or gazes with a fixed stare
through, a. stcrcoscope that hasn't any pic
lures in IL, you will soon have his pachy-
dermic pelt on tho fence.
\ EAEE POSSIBILITY.
hut there is II bare possibility thnt this
young man is i'll love with vow, and would
think it humorous even il you were to fill
him full Of fine shot. In that case tlo
not know what You ought to do. Love is
strange lnissivc. 1t goes where it is
not sent and it refuses to 60 where it is
sent.
II you could get him away by himself,
1t would be we'll enough, perhaps, to ask
him il he loves you. That's tho way
would do. Tho quicker matter of that
kind is disposed of tho better. Ask him
in manly way il such is the case, and il
no really docs love you, and has reason to
believe that you were paying attention to
him all this time, you cannot in honor de-
sert him now.
DO not be discouraged. let mo know
how you get on with the supcestiona 7
have made above and nm confident We
will succeed.
Have YOU ever tried wearing a large.
tall hat with n stuffed bluejay in it to the
theatre and sitting in the seat Just in
front OF hims Try it if you have not done
so already. and If you do not get rid Of
him. as we'll as i great number of Inv
abiding citizens, write me and l will suu-
gest something else.
Yours, truly. Bill Nyr.
Boston Gloic.