Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1887-11-21
Rich bread-A big pay roll.

Rich bread-A big pay roll
Companion in arms-Twins
A board bill-The carpenters state
ment.
A Joint canvass-That which covers a
ham.
A deaf mute, it is said, is not man of
his word.
The home-stretch-fixin up a story to
tell your wife at l a. m.
View this gravestone with all gravity,
j is filling his last cavity"
.sWhat does the thermometer indicate,
Edwin Indicates temperature"
Some of the best blood in the land now
runs through the MOSQUITOES veins.
What word may be pronounced quicker
by adding a syllable to it?-Quick.
What ailments are policemen most af-
fiicted with? With felons on their hands.
'sHere is another lock out, said the
barber, as he examined the elderly gentle
mans head.
A joker tells of a capitalist SO timid
that he will not let well enough loan
without good security.
..Wen it wont be long before he will
look as sIovenly as the rest of US.
.sWhy?" tHe was married two weeks
ago"
"Wen good-by, dear Mrs. Jones. I'm
afraid I've put you out by calling at this
unearthIy hour" ''Oh, 1 hope l didn't
show it.
In several states in the Union woman
can not make a viii; but she always has
one for all that, no matter in what state
she may be found
Il have always admired young Snider-
| Iv. he is so trim and neat. His clothes
always fit him and he looks as though he
had just emerged from bandbOx." :"
German Professor (to young American)
You don t mustn't make yourself drouble
to speak Cherman by me; when you
shpeak English 1 know your meanness
| ferry veil"
They have put an epitaph in one of the
London cemeteries, which equals in plth
and exactitude anything in the olden time.
Over the grave of dentist there run
the lines:
And so you didn't get elected after all?
! NO" ssYou should have put yourself in
the hands of your friends $50 [ did.
But Sharply did better. He put his mon
ey in the hands of his.
Foreman Ito country editor) do you
want Rev. Mr.. Goodman's sermon, Feed
my Lambs TO go on the editorial pager"
Editor (absent-mindedly) No. Run it
in the agricultural column"
A cats ewes are said to be largest at
midnioht. We never made an eXamina-
ton, but we are positive that its voice is
about seventeen times larger at that hour
than at anv other hour during the twenty
| four.
The following is a telegram received by
a railroad official .'Sprague, w T., Apr.
5. Mr.. Campbell: | shippee you two car
load hog. No catchee pass. Whattee
matter? All Fook" Evidently the Inter
state Commerce law has been too deep
for the heather Chiaee.
smith, say Dumley, you have had
some experience in love affairs, and !
want your advice. There is pretty little
widow in Harlem whom deyoteoly love
In paving my addresses how often ought
l to call upon her? Dumley-She Is wild
av. you say? Smith-Yes. Dumley-
Seven nights in week, my boy, with a
Wednesday and Saturday matinee
AN END TO BONE ~GRAPING.
Edward shepherd, Of Harrisburg. H., says
| ssHaving received so much ben. ft from ElecfriG
Bitters feel IT my duty let suffering humanity
know it, Have had running sore on my leg fol
eight years my doctors Eold me would hare 4
have the bone seraped eg ampHtatea- psrl
instead three bottles Of Electric Btters and sever
boxes of Backlen's Arnica save, and my leg i
llosv soui1d Andweil'
Electric fsfrrer< sold ffty bottle, ,ant
: ~ Cal. fox his 4