Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1887-10-27
How stoves are Put I'm.


when mulItudes of people are adjust.
inG their heating apparatus, preparing
for cold weather, some will rtcognise
their own experience In the following
amusing description from the Ameri.
can ArtiSdn Of the way II Is sometimes
done.
In the first place, the man pats on an
old aad very ragged coat. Then he
puts his bands inside the place where
the pipe ought to go. and blackens his
fingers, and then studiously makes
black mark down the side OF his nose.
Having got his nose properly frescoed,
the man gIasps one eide OF the bottom
OF The stove, and his wife and the hired
girl take hold of the other side, aud In
| this way the stove is started from the
woodshed la the parlor. In passing
through the door, the man carefully
swings his side Of tha stove around ana
jams his thumb nails against the door
post. AT last the stove Is set down in
| the tight place, and the man and his
wife and the hired girl set out in tri-
angular search after the stoye lags.
Two are llnally found inside the stove,
where they have remained since spring,
aud the two others are found hidden
under four tons of coal. Then the old
man holds up one side OF the stove,
while his wife puts two of the legs in
place then he holds up the other side
while the other two are adjusted, and
one of the first pair is displaced. The
trick of getting the four legs into their
proper place is praticed with varying
and Indifferent results for some ten
minutes, and by tins time the man gets
excited and reckless, and throws off
his coat regardless OF the consequences.
Then the man goes for the stovepipe
and gets cinder in his eye. The stove
was put up in the best shape last year
by the stoye man, but this year the pipe
proved to be little too long. So the
man Jams his hat down over his eyes,
takes piece of the pipe under his arm,
and starts for the tin shop to have
1t fixed. Then he comes back, steps
his muddy boots into one OF the best
p,rlor chairs to see if the pipe will at,
when his wife comes down. In the act
of descending he plants his foot square
down on the hollow of the cats back,
and comes with an ace Of .rampli.g
the baby under foot. Then the man
gets an old chair from the kitchen and
climbs up the chimney opening again
and makes the startling discovery that
in cutting off the pipe, the timer had
made the pipe too large TO enter the
hole in the chimney. So the old man
goes out into the back yard and splits
one side of the one end of the pipe with
an old AK, aud squet zes il between his
hands until it becomes smaller.
Then the man gets the pipe into his
shape only to iEi that the stove does
not stand true. Then the man and his
wife and the hired girl move the stove
to the left and the legs fall out again
The legs are replaced and the stoye
moved to the right, and there is anoth-
er Sednce with the legs. Then the ell
bow is found not to be even with the
hole in the chimney, and the man goes
into the woodshed after some little
blocks. Then The man and his wife
and the hired girl essay 10 put the
blocks under the legs, and the pipe
comes out of the chimney hole when the
elbow commences to topple over. The
mans wife is visibly agitated, and the
man gets the dining table out OF the
kitchen and balances an old chair on
1t, and makes his wife hold the chair
while he performs acrobatic feats on
the grand combine. in an effort to
drive some nails into the ceiling, dur
ing which performances the man drops
the hammer down upon his wife's de-
voted head, and she surprises him with
a yelp worthy the emulation OF n
Comanche Indian.
Finally the ma: completes the grand
act Of driving the nails. constructs a
wire swing 10 hold the elbow In posi-
ton, hammers the pipe on one side and
then little on the other, pulls one
JOINT = little here and pushes another
length little there. gives vocal ex-
preston to series of depie Itory and
mildly profane adjectives, takes long
breath, breathes a deep-drawn sigh of
relief, and proudly announces that the
job is finished.