The benevolent banner., 1887-07-09
PTTH AND POINT.

bat.
A PEN picture-an engraving of
piggery.
KEEP cool head and avoid heated
argument.
AN early spring-a sudden leap from
bed before daylight.
WHY is recruiting sergeant like the
wind? Because he blows where he
hsteth.
WHEN man sees double is it evi-
dence that his glasses are too strong
for him?
Glove laughs at locksmiths, F." and yet
there isn't anything very funny about
locksmith.
WHAT is that which lives in winter,
dies in summer, and grows with its
roots upwards? An icicle.
GEN. ANDREW JACKSON was a man of
undaunted courage. He married one
woman twice. &C. Y. Walls, IN NelC-
man Independent.
MEN will spend dollar at the bar
while declaiming against the outrage of
charging 25 cents admission to tenn
perance lecture. -TeraS Sifti11gs.
"IT is but step from the sublime to
the ridiculous; and the Sunday y-night
young man is apt to take it when her
father comes in impetuously at IL 80
o'clock. k.-JOuTndl of Education.
DIR. LYMAN BEECHER once replied to
an inquiry of Dr. Hawes, "How are
you getting on?" "First-rate! first
G,,,4 ~ or-o,. e;~oo
trying to run this world "-LiUi7ag
Church.
WE bend the knee, but not the ell
bow" enthusiastically exclaimed an or
ator at temperance meeting. "That's
So" said an unreclaimed sinner on
back seat. cts the only way you can
get your mouth to the bung-hole.
"YEs," said the lady lecturer, women
have been wronged for ages. They
have suffered in thousands of ways"
"There's one way they never suffered
in" said a hen-pecked man, rising.
whats that?" demanded the lecturer.
"They have never suffered in silence.
AN IDYL OF THE RACES.
His hopes were high his eye was bright,
AS toward the track his way he took
His manly step very light
Heavy his pocketboOk.
But this same man was seen again,
AS day was kissing night
His step was very heavy then
His pOcketbOok was light.
Washington Critic.
APPEARANCES are very deceiving. A
little boy at the opera, who noticed the
gentlemen looking through their opera
glasses at the ballet dancers, was of the
opinion that the opera-glasses were for
an entirely different purpose. He said !:
Mamma, buy me one of those things,
so | can cover up my eyes with it when
those women come on the stage"
BISHOP THOMPSON, of Mississippi,
tells this joke at his own expense: He
says that as he stepped off the cars one
day at Jackson, Miss, he was ap-
preached by an enterprising dusky
drummer for local hotel and informed
that "all gemman stop at the Larence
House" Another darkey standing
near by said: "Dis no gemman; dis
Bishop Tomsen."
"THAT brindle dog of yours has
killed three more of my chickens this
morning." said the wife of a Dakota
settler to her husband, "and if you
don't shoot him I'm going to give him a
dose of strychnine." Hold on now,
Sary, hold on, I've got plan" ooh,
bother your plan-you can't never
break him of the trick, and the best
thing you can do is to kill him." "No
'taint. Sary, nowhere near the best we
can do. Just wait till you hear my
plan" "Well, what is yer remark BILE
plan?" "Why, I'll tie him up now and
sell him for bird dog to the first Chi
cago hunter that comes along. I'll get
$50 for that dog yet, if you'll just lemme
be. e."-DGkOt1 Bell.
ErArEN EK I'M rR AP0