Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-08-31
Like a Good Right Arm, This Column is
all About tie Famaies.

all About tie Females.
She--I don't see why women
shouldn't make as good swimmers
as men. He--Yes-but you see a
swimmer has to keep his mouth
shut.
Rosa Bonheur proposes to paint
three typical American horses. We
recommend to her notice the saw
horse, the clothes horse and the dark
horse.
1t is said that the lady who wrote
I'm the Gloaming," made three
thousand dollars out Of it. There
are q good many ladies who sing it,
and who do not seem to make much
out of it.
II know sweet songs | cannot
sing" MARBLES Il poet. Well, old
chap, there's q girl in neighbour
hood who is situated exactly opposite
your case-she sings sweet songs she
does not know.
A Dakota widow sold her land
claim for a horse, and when the
buyer plated q town and made
$4,000 in a year, she came forward
with a breach of promise suit, which
is still pending. She says she has
rights which spectators must re-
| spect.
A gentleman went home q few
evenings ago and causually remarked
as he hung up his hat; Il see women
are sold at actual value in Indian
apolis. A wife was bought there
this week for five cents" well, |
knew a woman, about the time |
was married, who was sold for moth
ing" replied his wife. Then the
man put on his hat and came down
town.
Stumps, the farmer, has married
a city girl, who is trying to learn
the country ways. She has heard
her husband say he must buy a dog
and responds: ooh, yes! do, Chaw-
les-buy q settah dawg. He a be
a watch dawg all night and set on
the eggs all day for | can't make the
hens set, though I've held them
down an hour at q time.
Wifely devotion; Mrs. Yerger
was dressed to go to the ball, She
had on her new dress. "Gou look
stunning in that dress; but, great
Caesar. what q lot Of money it costs
these bard times remarked Colonel
Yerger. "Lor, Colonel! what do |
care for money when it comes to
make you happy" replied Mrs.
Yerger, with q beaming smile.
A young widow relates u sad ac-
cident whicb bereaved her of her
dear partner in life: 1--WE were ON
our way to bagtinolles. A train car
coliided with our bus on the Boule-
varhe de Cilchy n wheel came off
We were sitting outside, With a
loud scream we both fell 10 the
ground. When they came to pick
us up, they found my husband
crushed to death and my watch
broken all to pieces" And the Indy
then adds quite pathetically; And
it was quite a new one"
won't you go up, my dear, and
getmy goats off the bureau?7 Your
goats" queried Mr., Jones, what
ncw-fangled thing is that?' I'M
show yoU,' remarked the wife as
she sailed up sbnirs and down again,
with q pair of kids on her hands.
There they are she said. "Why
| cali these kids, said the surprised
husband. "Oh' You do" replied
the wife, go did I, once, but they
are so Oh now that In ashamed to
call them anything but goats" He
took the hint,
The dictionary makers are behind
the times. Butter is not made Of
cows milk. They are as much mis-
taken as was the Boston young lady
who was posted on all the sciences
chat end in sophy-mentry or-ology,
but ignorant of common matters.
The young lady, paying q visit to
her country cousin, was invited to
the garden. 'Ohl the dear little
birds" "Why they're not birds,
they're butterflies" "And these
are the cute little things that fly
from flower to flower and gather the
yellow butter that we use"