The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-11-30
The Golden Rule.

There is saloon out on the West Side
the proprietor of which has named it THE
Golden Rule" And the fact that the incl
dent am about to relate occurred in front
of its portals is no more strange than that
its owner should see the fitness Of the
name which he gave to his gin-mill.
Across its glItterng and always highly pol
ished plate glass windows, in letters of
spotless white, we're the words which would
indicate that all who entered there would
be dealt by on principle the fairest and
squarest ever laid down for the guidance
of human conduct.
1t was early morning when seedy, tat
tered, and nm- soaked bum, who had
doubtless passed the night in some stair
way, came shutting along, evidently hunt
ing for morning dram. AS he instinct
lively paused before the entrance of the
Golden Rule, and while he was gazing
wistfully at its interior, and perhaps cogi-
tating upon the chances of being able to
beg drink from the bar tender, his eyes
fell upon the big white letters in the win
dows. Slowly lie spelled out the words,
and then removing his battered hat he be-
gan to scratch his head, gazing meanwhile
intently at the letters and apparently lost
in the depths of his profound meditations.
Finally he calculated: We'll, I'm
blowed, If don't remember suthin bout
them yer words, but DANCED if L kin jes
now get 'em somehow Strengthened out in
my head" He replaced his hat where it
belonged and thrusting his hands deep
into his pantaloons- pockets. he stood as ii
SPELL bound by the words which had, evil
IDENTIFY by the merest accident, caught his
attention, but had strangely enough aroused
something in his memory which had lain
dormant perhaps from the days of his
childhood. At any rate, in trying to get at
the meaning of the words before him he had
attempted what was for him very
difficult task. Slowly but determinedly be
wrestled with the problem, till at length q
light broke over Lis face and he almost
shouted as he exclaimed: by gum, I've
got i'll" Then, talking to himself, he con-
tinued: IL remembers now t when wos n
young un went wunse to q place whur
there was a bloke whut talked bout the
golden rule. He said it wuz ter allus treat
tother fellar jes like you'd like ter be
treated"
Here he stopped and again meditated
An instant later he started for the door,
saying to himself: "This fellar what keeps
this saloon must be one o them Sunday
school blokes hisself."
But, alas for human weakness; alas for
human cussedness-for despite the poor
fellows painful and laborious calculations,
his conclusions were wrong, radically
wrong. 1t was not twenty seconds after
he had crossed the threshold of the Gold
en- Rule before he came out again, and
that very hurriedly. In fact, his exit from
the door to the curb Of the sidewalk was
one mighty leap, by which he just es-
capped being hit with n huge rubber
spittoon, which the irate Samaritan
on the inside had hurled after him.
The unfortunate searcher for morning
eye-opener continued on his way, but as
he went off / caught something which, put
into ordinarily good English, was as fol-
lows: "That saloonkeeper, like great
many other people, has a sign on the out
side of his place not in harmony with or
properly interpreting the character of the
business carried on inside. "-ArkansaD
TraUeler.