The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-05-10
MRS. BOWSER'S PLANT.

The Good Woman Draws a ComparfsOar
Between Courtship and Married Misery.
1t makes me tired when / sit And re-
aect on the courtship that made me
change my name to Mrs. Bowser. ]
was full of trust and love and romance,
and looked upon Mr. Bowser as god
One of his favorite pastimes was to
place me where the lampHght fell upon
my hair and to address me as his gold
en-haired angel. Poor, silly girl that
was, 1 thought it would always lasti
One evening after we had been married
five or six weeks l took my stand under
the gas and asked him if his angel was
rs dear to him as ever.
"Humphr' he grosled as he looked
me over.
"But won't you praise my golden
hairs''
Golden carrots. Mrs. Bowser! FL
had such mop of carroty hair on my
head as you possess I'd go hide itawsy
in barrelr'
"Then you have ceased to love mes'
Ceased nothing! have simply got
tired of sH this boshy nonsense, and i
propose to settle down to the realities
Of life"
During our courtship Mr.. Bowser de-
lighted to read to me from book d
poems, and he insisted on holding one
Of my hands while he read. The Sec
ond evening we were in our own house
{ brought out Longfellow and sat down
beside him and took his hand.
what are you paving around me
tor?' he asked. as he looked up.
Ell want my deary to read TO me-"
"Weu. your desry has got some
thing else to do! I'm reading up on
bread and butter instead of poetry.
Please keep your paw at home"
"You used to read such lovely poetry
to me-"
THAT was because I was a foolr'
Invent over to the other side of the
room and cried, and he let me weep
away for straight hour by the clock
before he observed:
"NOw, Mrs. Bowser. If you have got
through sniyeling Wen go down stairs
and measure that coal-bin and figure up
the cubic feetr'
During our courtship we used to take
long walks in the cleaning, and
though / was often 80 tired I could
hardly drag one leg after the other,
Mr.. Bowser would insist on dragging
me around. He was always quoting
something about GLORIOUS Luna" and
'tsilver stars and Heavens arch"
and one night as we sat upon the door
step he put his arm around me and said
he could sit there forever and aye. Il
was hardly a month after our marriage
that I put on my hat one evening and
asked him if he didn't want to wander
out for awhile and watch the silent
night shut down.
I'D like to see myself sloshine
around with this Internal corn on my
soer' he replied.
''Mr. Bowser, there was q time when
you'd have walked all night with corn
on every toe"
THAT shows what an idiot man can
make of himself"
AOu OuCC Sblu bitdt we always
walk .hand-in-hand in life's cleaning"
81 don't believe it! I knew I was
soft, but don't believe was as mushy
as that"
"But you certainly did"
'..Well, I'll take it all back now
We've got something else to do besides
squeezing paws and signing about the
cleaning. Drrn the cleaning, Mrs.
Bowser! The whole caboodle of it
wouldn't buy peck of potatoes! 1t
would look more sensible for you to
wander out into the kitchen and see
how many tramps the cook is feeding
at my expense"
Two months before our marriage
got hard cold and had chills and
fever. 1t was impossible to keep Mr.
Bowser away from the house, and upon
occasions he hung over me and
'I pray Heaven to spare your pre-
cious life! If you should die life would
be sdreary blank to me. Oh! darling.
try and get WELL"
I tried. and with the help of doctor
and plenty of two-grain quinine cap
sules recovered. Two months after
marriage I got caught out in rain
storm, and in q day or two I had chills
and q sore throat When Mr.. Bowser'
came home at night I was abed. He
took the matter very calmly. Standing
In the bedroom door, he said:
"Weli. I suppose the doctor has been
here and made . bill against me, and
that you have had dozen prescriptions
6lled and charged!"
"Tm not very ILL.,"
"Oh. no! just i'll enough to upset
the whole house and make me twenty
dollars expenses. and all because of