The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-04-09
Dangers of Etiquette.

that the matter of official etiquette
and precedence at Washington is be-
coming a matter of such grave inn
pOrtance, and holds so many ele-
ments of horror for those who might
otherwise aspire to the chief office
within the gift Of the people. that it
will ultimately he the means of keep
ing many good man out of the
presidential chair. 1t is. therefore.
with the gravest approximations that
I look forward TO the time when our
forests shall be denuded and our pres
idential chair deserted and unsquat
upon.
What can be more des0late to the
eye or more depressing to the heart
than a forest devoid of trees or
presidential chair, worn smooth by
past greatness and polished by seden-
tary power, deserted at last, with
none to soOthe its lacerated heart or
WOO the horse-hair back to its torn
bosom?
We are prone to think now, be-
cause the elm. the oak. the chestnut
and the hickory wave in the glad
sunlight. that the day will never
come when wood will he much sought
after and our WOOdshe,ls a mOckery.
But that time may come before we
are prepared for it. So, too. we may
hatter ourselves that the day is far
distant when help will he so scarce
that we cannot get President easily
at the salary we now pay but what
do we do TO make the life of Presi-
dent enjoyable? What home in
fiuences do we throw about him to
make his lot more cheerful
We spend our time and money in
trying to brighten The hours of the
felon. but we forget that the Presi-
dent of the United States is frequently
more susceptible to kind treatment
than the most gentle felOn in all the
land. We are prone to forget that
the President of the United States
was once pure as the beautiful snow,
Every year we add to the duties OF
the President without adding to his
salary. Each year we call upon him
TO veto more bills than he did the
year before, and. while we do not
add to his perquisilies. we tread more
and more chocolate into his car
pet and assure him that we are still
tickled to see him.
A condition of things has already
arrived where in the primary de-
partment of our schools the prospects
Of becoming President of the Repub-
lie in the bosom of the golden ulii.
, mateiy no longer draws. To become
II contnrti0nist or pugiIist might be
: an inducement in many cases, but t.
! be lonely, neglected President
doomed perhaps to get married dur
ing his term, patiently vetoing bills
all the forenoon and then wringine
the warty hands of Il cynical cOnsti'
tuency in the afternoon, then pa.
tiently borrowing dishes of neigh
Dor in order to give state dinner OF
entertain the chairman of the board
of supervisors from Costa RIGA, will
never again promote the industry
among boys that it used to.
Perhaps other people haven't the
strong repugnance for etiquette that
seems to be Inherited in my nature.
I hope not. Etiquette is my bugbear.
That is about all the bugbear l have
had for years.
Whenever / am invited to any
large d0in9s where fair women and
brave men in their other clothes are
apt to congregate, 1 always inquire
If there Is TO be any etiquette there.
The presence of etiquette at an other
wise happy gathering has frequently
debarred me from attending and
compelled me to spend the evening
with my family. where 1 could lay
aside all restraint and my coat.
So, the life of President. fraught
as it is with the most virulent and
I. malignant form of etiquette, would
possess no charms for tie. and l am
not surprised that the boys of Amer
lea refuse to rise rs one man and he
President, fearing very naturally
that some time at state dinner they
might get The great men mixed up
and have the error ttlegraphed and
cabled right and left. or at some Off
cial festival and hurrah to a Pleni-
potentiary the wrong place might he
assigned TO the delegate at-large from
Father India, and the wi e Of the
clergyman from Sweden find herself
drinking from the mustache cup that
properly belonged to the minister
from Nova Scotia.
| I am sure that I am not bessimis-