The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-07-11
LEARNING TO THINK.

Sir Isaac Newton's Profound Thought and
ss>7s the Good It Did Him.
Robert J. Burdette, In Brooklyn Eagle.
Sir Isanc Newton of Newton Centre, Mass,
of the greatest thinkers that ever car
ried q thinker in his bootleg Whatever he saw
he endeavored to find out cause for it. But
he was thinking all the time he didn't
great deal. One day, as he was sitting IN the
garden oiing up his thinker. he saw an apple
fall from tree Most men would have sup
posed that it fell of its own accord. but Sir Isaac
had been boy himself long before founding the
theological seminary which perpetuates his name.
which, by the way, is very easy one to spell
pie fall; some foolish people say that he won
dered why it didn't fall up instead of down. but
that is all rubbish Sir Isaac fool if he
was philosopher, and he knew that everything
falls down except wig, and that false hair.
After pronounced awfterl much thought and
study upon the subject. he discovered the cause;
he noticed that apples were more apt to fall
down after school was dismissed than during
study hours. So the next time he went into the
garden he lay low. and when the apple fell he
held his breath until the cause came swiftly owes
the fence to pick up the effect. Sir Isaac col
Jared the boy, for it was he, and taught him
how easily pain might be produced by the rapid
impingement of a common apple switch upon ex-
posed only partially protected portions Of the
human form divine. He illustrated his theory
with few simple experiments such boy of
ordinary intelligence could easily comprehend.
This valuable discovery OF Sir Isaacs has been
great boon to wn-up humanity It is now uni
versally known that apples are more apt to fall
when there are few boys at large in the vi
cinity than at any other time, and that apples
will fall for a boy when they might have defed
she laws of gravitation for months longer This
su bime fact teaches US that notifications that
are at first artificial are rendered spontaneous
by heredity
This incident of the apple tree however, had one
bad effect upon Sir Isaac. It led him to hate
boys. and he devoted much of his time to max
ing life a burden to them. With this revenge
full object in view he invented the attraction of
gravitation. and by joint resolution of Con-
gress. which he easily accomplished BY persuad-
ing the members of the House that there
big appropriation in it, ne got it established
fundamental law of nature. with jurisdiction
over the tides, the seasons and the movements
of the planets. and many other things which
boys have since been compelled to learn. So it
10 that whenever boy sees an apple he thinks
of Sir Isaac Newton fret. and then he thinks of
come way to get the apple and by and by ne
wonders if he find the pain killer in the
dark, and then he thinks how awful IL would be
to die there, sill alone in the night, and then he
thinks if he lives till morning he will give the
rest of his apples to his little brother and thus
you see quite a train of thought is awakened in
the boys mind by Sir Isaac's great discovery
Sir Isaac never took ont a patent his dis
covery, but the Bell Telephone Company claims
that the principle is covered by their invention
and the patents relating thereto, and if the
courts sustain this claim as they probably WILL,
every time picks up anything that has
dropped down. he will have to pay the telephone
company royalty, and every time he has any
thing to do with the telephone company he will
drop something.