Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-04-22
rauie.rinaer.

& A Fault.Finaer.
All husbands lind fault with their
meals. / know this to tie true, because
NJ. Bowser says 20. think it nothing
strange when Mr.. Bowser sits down to
~ dinner and begins:
s<Iiumpb! Same old corned beef!'
eyes. my dear; its the same corned
hssf Won ordered rs you went down thii
snoruinR.
sOh, iti<! l didn't know but it wsi
e3me / ordered . year ago! What dc
YIN call these things!"
s.P5tatoes. of course"
s-potatoes, oh? I'll try and remember
tkAt name. Aud what is this!"
'sCabbAge, my love-"
ssOh! fdidn't know but it was wood
nolp. my love! Was this bread made
0ince the Warf"
ssCsrtainly. II is only two days old. "
"IIumphl Buying some poor coffee
ora;u. / zee! Look vt that! That stuii
looks q il it was dipped out OF mud
hols!"
ssBut You ordered this very coffee
yoarssf only night before last"
He evowls and eats, and eats and
1rrovls, and I've got used to 1t. 1t Is
Salv nov and then that he proceeds to
vfo1ence, The other day he expressed
NJ fonduess for pumpkin pie, and | or
aeeed the cook to make two or three.
W. had one brought on at supper, and
= soon as Me-. Bowser saw it he s,ernly
Inquired;
ssWhat do you call that performance
1hert! Where was it born, and where
8 u going to-"
ssNr. Bowser, you said you wanted
some pumpkin pie"
ssYes."
swell, here it is, and as good one
= YOU ever ate: made it myself, after
uaofhsr's favorite recipe"
ssMrs. Bowser, do you call that q
pampkin pie!"
II do, sir"
ssThen want to be branded fool
Whist do you take me for, anyway
Don't you suppose was eating pumpkin
pits before you were born?"
Why isn't it pumpkin pie ?"
"Why isn't a bootleg boot? Wher'
= your other crust?"
''But pumpkin pies never have an!
upper crust. !"
"Don't they Mrs. Bowser, you car
doooive the cook, for she is con6dinl
1ms1gner, and you can stuff most any
yorn down our poor little baby, bu
6onst try to bamboozle me. 1t won't
work. I'm glad for your sake that my
mosher isn't here to laugh at you"
II two days l had letter from i
aosher. affirming that there was nc
upper crust to pumpkin pie, and l
broneht my own mother over in the
1ssh = further witness, but what did
NJ. Bo xser do but loudly exclaim:
ssBosh! You old women haye forgot.
~ half you knew! You are think,n g
aboat padding and milk, you are. Of
eoarss, there is no upper cru I to pud.
ding and milk, and never said there
wns."
He cost me good girl last week by
ene of his whims. l happened to won.
der aloud during the evening if she had
rat the bread to raise, when he prompt.
y inquired:
AsMrs. Bowser. do you know why
broad ra'ses?'
ssBscause of the yeast
sBai why does the yeast expand the
dsssb!"
ssBecause it does.
ssRxactly. You also live because you
do.a that's all you know about it
You ought to bs ashamed of your igno
rance Of natural philosophy. I'll see if
Z Ahe girl knows any better.
He went out and inquired:
"JAne, have You put the bread te
xosas2"
ssYeu. SIR"
s'Do yon expect it to raise!"
stOf cou re."
ssWhy don't you expect it to fall:"
"Are you running this kitchen 2
sho sharply demanded.
s.Virtually. yes. My object is to see
NV Mell you are posted on natural
philosophy. Why does the bread rise
fustsAd Of faIl!'
ssBscause it's Q fool; and I'm another
~ stAyipg in q place where man
= allowed to hen.buzzy about the
Kitchen I'll leave in~the morning !!
And leave she did, and all the con.
selAtion got from Mr.. Bowser as he
eams up to dinner was
s'lt's . good thing she left. She
Hsight have mixed something together
which would have caused our deaths
Come, now. hurry mp the dinner"
Mr. Bowser - improved tome in th'
dirsc!ion Of taking care of the baby
can now leave them together as lonl
- fifteen minutes without fear that one
/. VII kill the other by trying some expert
~1sat. They had been alone about sever
ainutes the other day while / was VI
stnizs, and when came down Mr.. Bow
~ seemed quite agitated and Whispered
- me:
sI've suspected it all alongr'
ssWha,!"
ssThst our child is somewhatof mon
strosity! Look at that!'
And he pointed to soft spot on the
shilds head where throb could be de.
Aected.
ssEvery child has the same" l replied
1n = reas suring voice.
'sOh! they have. eb! What infants
asylum have you been matron Of? Per.
Asps married the mother instead OF
- daughter! tell you that's freak
nfnature, that is, shao't be surprised
- come home at any day and find a
Aern beginning to sprout."