Morning journal and courier., 1887-07-29
BURNING.

Touching the weather-but, no; don't touch it. Might burn you.-Oil City Der rick.
 The Benefit of Proper Exercise.-Jay Gould recovered his health by indulging in Field sports.-Life.
 Lightning is acting without any sense of propriety this year. It is even striking feather beds.-Boston Post.
 A recent publication is map of hell. It is not half as exciting as the directory would have been.-Macon Telegraph.
 A tinsmith near Exeter has sign which reads, "Quart measures of all shapes and sizes sold here. ."-Toronto Globe.
 One million five hundred thousand baskets have been ordered preparatory to the failure of the Delaware peach erop.-Life.
 The chaps you see in the country doubled up over bicycle are supposed to be Ion pleasure bent. ."-Commercial Bulletin.
 Herr Krupp is dead It is believed that he has assisted more emigrants to better sphere than any other man in the worlds history
 How is it that we so constantly hear in cases of peril of the man who was "cool and collected" and never anything about the man who was "warm and scattered. ."-Phila- delphia Call.
 little Methodist girl attended wedding in an Episcopal church and when she went home asked her mamma: "Why did the man in the nightgown ask if he would promise to love cherries?''-Alta California.
 ''I think ice cream is delicious, George" she said; ''I just love it." ''But don't you know that it's very dangerous? inquired George, uneasi1y. "Yes, I suppose it is dangerous, but Pm no coward, George. ."-Sun.
 Featherly (to messenger)-"Did you deliv- CT the note to the young 1adya" Messenger boy-"Yes, sir" Featherly-''And what did she say!" Messenger boy-fShe said: sOh, pshaw! Its from MT. Featherly.' D. Sun.
 An exchange tells of girl who is too poor to own more than one chair, so that when her lover comes he has to bring chair with him. This item must come from some other planet. It doesn't smack of human nature.-Burling- ton Free Press.
 "Clara,' he said in a low, sweet, kiss-me tone of voice, "do you see yon twinkling starr" ''I see plenty of stars" replied the tired girl, who was anxious to get to bed, "but don't observe anything particularly 'yon' about them. Don't be foolish, George" :" Sun.
 Omaha man-''What do you charge for board at this hotels'' Hotel man-''We can accommodate you for $200 month" /" fThat's outrageous" "In this hotel we do not allow walters to accept tips, and we ludh0 Uu0 Sc1NduIS CdU W1dl LLO Su0StS oOi1 want instead of making the guests eat what the servants don't want" ''Oh, that's diff ferent. "-Omaha World.
 Well, brother, what are you going to do for the church missions in Africa this year?" asked city pastor of one of his leading pill lars last evening. 'T can't do anything, brother, this season." replied the l. p. sober 1y. "Can'tl Why nots' 'Well, the truth is that one of my best buildings, which was rented at fine profit for a pool room and bucket shop, has been left vacant on my hands under the new law and feel too poor to help the suffering heathen in other lands. ."-Chicago Journal.
 He propitiated him.-At Boston hotel the head waiter came out of the office and informed the learned and cultured clerk that a man was raising disturbance because he could not have his accustomed seat at the table. "Go in again." said the Browning saturated clerk, 'tand propitiate him in some way-I leave it to you" Back went the waiter to the dissatisfied boarder and said eff you don't like the way things is done here, you can get right out, or I'll propitiate you pretty quick. ."-Hotel Mail.