The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-28
BRIGHT BITS.

oub ouOOlihS'
~, nat did you kill?'
Nothing. except my dog. "-Totgn Topics.
WHEN an Irishman went into Chinese laun-
dry and tod the VI ngolian in charge TO hurry
up mis- washing because he hadn't a clean shirt
bosom TO his back. that vas bull in a China
shop, wasn't it:-ierds SJttngs.
MARYLAND DARxEY--How d'y boss'. How many
melons you raised this yeary
Gardener-Abolt 800, | guess Pete How
many have you raised.
Observation-Disclosures sab (aside(-ober yo' fence
Huntington FTee Press
CHANCE ACQUAINTANCE-What are your pol
Seedy Man, with wistful look about the
mouth When I'm talking with a Democrat,
Republican I'm a Prohibitionist.-B Burlington
Free Press.
You don't know how worried am about my
little girl She is telling fibs all the time"
Why don't non punish her in some way?"
Punish bert You don't understand the ma
ture Of my alarm. lam afraid she won't live
to grow up; so preeoeious, you know. boston
Transcript. 80 Gee.
ELSIE shouting TO E-e-e-dithl You
are wanted at once to do an errand.
Edith shouting ackl-Tell mamma can't
do 1t now; I'm busy
Elsie-It's not mamma who wants you; it's
papa.
Edith hastily)-All right. Tell him I'll be
there in minute Cincinnati Star.
OK LOWER Broadway.
Galley TO Cublsiyh, who is hurrying along at
a rapid ~aitl-IIev. chaDrie. what's the deuced
wowe Wawking faw a stake?
Cubleigh-Clevah dawg You've stwuck it.
I'm UwoK-, ana want " stwike the Guvnor be-
fore he goes uptown,
Starts at a dead run-TO7cn Topics.
PLEASURES OF Duty. Busy Father-My daugh-
ter, | must take an early train tomorrow, the
alarm clock is out of order, and some one will
have to sit upsO as to wake me.
Dutiful Daughter-I'u do it, pa.
MY dear You are daily and hourly blessing
to me. And are you sure you can keep awaken
'Oh, yes, George will be here tonight. ~
Omaha World.
OMAHA CHILD ION Eastern railway train)-Oh
mamma, there's policeman walking through
a corn field
Mamma without looking out)-Is he chasing
any one?
mo; he's walking along just as they do in the
street.
Dear mel Get your things on. We are
within the city limits of Philadelphia Omaha
World.
OMAHA PRoHIBITIoNIsT-My friend, hope we
will have your help in our Prohibition cam
paign? an.
antdote fer rattlesnake bites except whisky, an
| amt goin to vote whisky out of reach in cases
of emergency, | tell you.
But, sir there are no rattlesnakes in your
section"
mo, butwere goin' to import some right off. "
-OmdhG World
THE USE OF -Clergyman-Nothin
better illustrates the degeneracy of the age than
the extent to which slang is now used.
81 should remark"
People who claim refinement interlard their
| sentences with slang words"
You bet.n
'lGven the ladies cannot talk without singing
in a lot of sewer language"
Yes, they get there just as well as the men.
ut makes me tired to think of it.
Me too. '-LincOlft Journal
PHLosopHER-Yes there are many useless
things in nature. pigs tail, for instance. is of
no use at all.
Patrck-No use is it, yez soy! Did yez liver
say pigy
"Oh yes
"Did yez ever thry to drive pig into new
penn"
NO"
"lez thry it some day The tail VIZ made to
| take hold of an pull Thin the haste thinks yez
is thrying to pull him out ov the pen an in he
| lapes ''-Ondhd World.