The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1887-05-21
CRUEL REVENGE.
now Bob Rurdette Got Even with Ma
jestic but Very Impolite Gentleman.


nov Bob Rurdette Got Even with n Ma
jestic but Very Impolite Gentleman
Once, in the dead heart of the pitt
less winter had drawn my good two
handed Lecture with the Terrible Name,
and was shifting all the coasts of Penn
sylYania with it. sparing neither (pro-
nounced nythcr) young or old. and
wearing ut my belt the scalps of many
a pale-face audience. One night /
reached Erie the pleasant just as the
clocks in the Lord Mayors castle
struck twenty-one. 1t was bitter bit
ing. singing cold. and there was no
ambulance at the station. while there
was good hotel there. went in
registered, and man of commanding
presence, tailor-built clothes and
brown beard of most refined culture.
followed me. and under my plelseian
scrawI made the register luminous with
his patrician eoguomen. / stood lit
tie in awe of tl;is majestic being. about
rs little as | usually stand in the pres
ence of any majestic creature. and when
in deep bass, commanding voice lie
ordered 4 room / had great mind
something that always carry with me
when travel-to go out and get him
one. The gentlemanly aud urbanc
! night clerk, who also seemed to be
! deeply impressed-as i the habit of the
night clerk-with the gentleman's re-
| sponsiblezto-any amount toot on,
/ Sawmbei said he was sorry but he had
/ but one vacant room and it contained
but one bed, .-StiIl," he said, as be-
came a man who was bound 10 stand
/ for his house if it hadn't 4 bed in IL
| lit was a very wide bed, very wide
! and quite long. Two gentlemen coult.
sleep in it quite comfortably. and if
But the Commanding Being at my side
said that was quite altogether out of
i the question entirely. Quite, He was sor~
rv for the--here he looked at me, hesitat-
ed. but finally said-gentleman. but He
couldn't share His room with him. He
was sorry for the-gentleman and hop
ed he might find comfortable lodgings.
but He couldn't permit him TO occupy
even portion of His bed. Then the
clerk begged pardon, and was sorry,
and ali that. but this other gentleman
. had registered first, and 1t
was for him to say what dis
position should be made of this lonely
. room and solitary bed. / FASTENED 10
assure the majestic being that it Was
all right; he was welcome to two-thirds
/ of the room. all the looking-glass and
one-half of the bed NO." he said.
. very abruptly. Il will SIT here by the
stove and sleep in a chair. I thank
vou. sir. but would not sleep with my
I own brother. prefer a room 70 my
:. "a @k,..& LII. Il
Q know what kind of a man his brother
was. but no doubt he did. and there
D fore must conclude that he wasn't a
n fit man TO sleep with. But his brother
: was out of the question. and If he
wanted part of my couch. he might
b have it and welcome, and would agree
: not to think of his Brother. mo sir, -
he said. Il Will sleep in no man bed. y
|, | said | wouldn't either, If l WASH
d sleepy, but when was sleepy. didn't
care; I'd sleep with the King of Eng
o land or the President, and wouldn't
| care a cent who knew it
II Well, l went to he'd. curled UP un-
der the warm. soft blankets, and heard
the wind shrek and wall and whistle
e and yell-how like all creation the
grew colder and colder every minute
e fell asleep and dreamed that HEAVIER
was just forty-eight miles west of Dun
kirk About 2:50 or o'clock there
le came laundering rap at the door. and
y with vague, half-waking impression
in my dream that sombo6iy from tbs
rs other place was trying TO get in,
said:
tx What is it?''
1T is T. answered splendid voice
j which l recognized at once Il an
De the gentleman who came on the traiI
II with yon."
&c Yes said. 'and what is the mat
ter
The splendid voice was a trifie hum
ble as it replied:
&c Il have changed my mind abou
Al sleeping with another man.
: $50 have IT, 1 howled. so ioyousl
Il that the very winds laughed in merr
echo. $50 have l! wouldn't get on
IF this warm bed TO open that door fo
my own brother!s
l will close this story here II
-, should write the language that wen
~ down that dim. cold hall outside m
:, door you wouldn't print it And whe
ms next morning l went skipping dow
stairs as fresh as rose, and saw tbs
, majestic being knotted mp in a har
arm chair, looking hundred years OLD
said:
ur Better is poor and wise child tina
his an old and foolish King. who knowet
he not how to be admonished. For ont
ow prison he cometh to reign, wherca
in also he that is born in his kingdom b.
he cometh poor This also IS vanity
he Robert j. Burdette, in Brooklyn Eaqt
on The report of President Battle.
~ the North Carolina State Universit,
-, TO the board of trustees, shows that II
oil university rs of great benefit to po<
- young men. There are now at the il
.ha stituiion more than hundred youth
lJe DIR. Battle says, with hands brow
ost with toll. some cooking for themselve
ma others hiring their own cooks. son
rh, IN county appointments free of tuitiol
eo,, ,thers going into debt for it. wi
! Ehrea1hars clothes in the eolda