Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1887-07-28
A story OF Raymond.

A Story OF Raymond
One day in Chicago the comedian
CHANGED TO pass a new. large, and very
pretentious hardware store, and among
the clerks noticed 4 very green-look-
ing youth, apparently Just from the
prairie. Intent on fun at any ones ex-
pense save his own. Raymond entered
the establishment, and, taking the
youth aside, asked him in his dry,
serious way if he had for sale copy
of ''Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress"
The astonished clerk gasped. "'Bun-
yan's Pilgrims ProgressF I-a-you're
sure you're in the right store?" glanc-
ing wildly at the hammers, saws, and
metallic implements around him.
Yes" says Raymond, II was
directed here. Iwant the edition of
l704, with the original plates by
Hogarth."
''Why this is a hardware store" re-
piled the astounded youth.
II don't care for the price" remark
ed the comedian; "get me the books
quickly"
'I-rl go and see the proprietor.
II hardly understand" With this
the juvenile hardwareman hurries to
the back Office, and in a minute the
proprietor comes to Mr.. Raymond and
asks him what he wants.
II want some No. 6 augers; but
your clerk hardly seems to understand
me, J." innocently says John 7. r.
mo. 6 augers, certainly" replies
the proprietor, and he shouts in a
savage voice to the clerk modestly
standing in the background: "Get
what this gentleman wishes at oncew
and goes back to his ledger, angry at
being interrupted for No. 6 augers.
In dazed way the youth approaches
the comedian.
"Well, why don't you get that Bun
yan's Pilgrims Progress?" says Ray
mond; .'didp't you hear what your
boss saidP" 9
"Yes-but II think the boss must
be drunk. This isn't book store"
''But your master says to get it.
The edition Bf 1704-Hogarth's plates.
I'm here forsthat book, and mean to
have it!' y
'Tll-Tll go and ask him again.
Perhaps he wants me to send out for
the cursed book" gasps the clerk, and
disappears once more into the private
office.
After moment the proprietor comes
out and is about to speak, but Ray
mond suggests:
''Isn't he getting them YETI If you
have no No. augers I'll try another
store"
We've all the No. 6 augers in the
country!" cries the hardwareman,
with Chicago business modesty.
''That boy must be out of his head!'
''Yes, he does seem little queer, !"
replies Raymond.
Course him, he's drunkr' says the
proprietor, and he yells at the clerk:
IF you don't fill this gemtleman's
order in thirty seconds I'll discharge
your and bolts into his private office.
The country clerk is now in appear
ance jibbering idiot, as the comedian
mildly remarks to him: YOU'D better
do what your boss tells you, sonny,
and get me that 'Bunyan's Pilgrims
Progress"
This is the devil!' gasps the victim,
the perspiration standing on his fore
head. 1.-The boss must be crazy. He
can't have heard you-Fll-"
Here the proprietor pokes his head
out of the private office, and ejacu-
lates, in voice of thunder. ''What
are you gaping there for, you drunken
fool. Get that gentleman the No. 6
augers he wants, or Ell bore hole in
your salary"
mo. 6 augers! Why, you asked me
for 'Bunyan's Pilgrims Progress I'll
wipe the floor up with you," yells the
clerk, turning upon Raymond, but
that genial comedian is already upon
the sidewalk and waving and bowling
a polite and hurried adieu from the
other side of the large glass 'front.'
door. r.-New York Tribune