The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1887-10-14
MARRIED woMENs MECHANICS.
The Odd Ways I'm which the Idlers at
Saratoga Address Their Wives.

The Odd Ways in which the Idlers at
Saratoga Address Their Wives.
When lounger on the veranda Of one
Of the big hotels at this place hears man
say 'Hurry up, little one," or Come
along, birdie,' he may be sure that it is
husband addressing his wife and that she
is enormously fat. Apparently all hus-
bands of fat women address their wives
with diminutives, If not with nicknames
fit only for small women or little girls
'cDaisy," Birdie and BABY appear to
be the pet names most favored by the hus-
bands of mammoth women. In this haven
Of conjugal rest, for Saratoga is distinc-
lively for married couples and has less
conveniepces and attractions for lovers
than any place in America, one gets a
deep knowledge of the ways of welded
folk. This matter of nicknames for wives
Is one of the most interesting studies. To
pursue this branch of learning it is only
necessary to sit for an hour or two, on any
the inner garden either of the United
States hotel or of the Grand Union. An
the rest the married couples viii do for
the student They will talk unguardedly
in his hearing, and he will soon be able
to classify the couples and the pet names,
for certain names go with certain sorts OF
couples as infallibly as pie goes with sup
per in New England.
The very swell and exquisite young
married men, who dress vainly and seek
to give the impression that they belong to
the F. G. d. c., dance at Delmonico's and
know all the fellows who have yachts,
call their wives with monosyllables, such
as Puss, Chris, Hen, Fan, Loo, Tot.
There seems to be only one marked ex-
ception in the list. You often hear one
of these wives called ''Popsy." There
are two Popsies at the States and there is
one at the Union. Oddly enough, the
fathers of these same fellows, men so well
kept that you can't say whether they are
45 or 65, are fond of drawing out the full
names of their helpmeets, as, for instance,
''Come heah, Frances" or "Now, my
deah Eleanor, you must have a wrap"
Equally fixed is the rule that thin and
sickly women, dyspeptics, neuralgics, and
the like, are addressed by their liege lords
as wife, madame, or Misses Thompson,
Misses Brown, or whatever. The invalid
husbands, and all the prim and precise
ones as well, address their better halves
as "my dear" This, by the way, is the
established custom with the Hebrews,
though they usually are heard to pro-
nounce the words "mine teer." The
clergymen seem to have united upon the
word mother" as title for their wives,
and the men who are SO common here,
and who seem to be wrapped up in an
only girl or boy, call their wives ''ma.n
Other nicknames resist classification
thus far, though perhaps the key to all can
be found by diligent application. There
Is no end to the Dollies and the '.my
loves" while one hears a miscellaneous
lot of passersby addressing their comrades
as "Pet." One plump little wife is grad
ually becoming known to everybody In
one of the hotels as Sugar" the nick
name her husband calls out assiduouslT
and loudly all day in the parlors and on
the promenades. The temptation for
others to call her Sugar is growing pain
full She is not the only feminine confec-
ton, for, at the States, there is dimpled
brunette who answers to her husband as
s'Sweety," and yesterday a very prim-
looking wife, somewhat the shape OF
board, was addressed as Sweetness be-
fore all the crowd at the spring in Con-
gress park 1t may be an oversight, but
there does not seem to be q ''darlingn In
town. A muddy faced, corpulent man Of
40, who looks as If he had been born and
brought up in the Stock Exchange, always
addresses his wife as precious" and In
the same hotel husband, who appears to
hail from the west, replies to his wife with
Eyes, Pigeon" "Al right, Pigeon, and
so on. AS it happens, there is something
about the wife's appearance or manner, or
perhaps it is her shape, that renders this
oldest of nicknames peculiarly appropri-
ate. The young fellows who are spending
their time in pulling the down ON their
upper lips are fond of pointing out Sugar"
to all their acquaintance, and in another
week they viii doubtless add Pigeon"
to their stock of fun.-Saratoga Cor.
New York Sun.