Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-10-01
HOW TIE BOYS DO THEIR WORK,
a Drummer Relntes His Experience in
Grand Rapids, Mich.
Grand Rapids Times.

a d. ummer Rslates His Experience in
Grand Rapids, Mich.
Grand Rapids Times.
One thing l like about these "Knights
of the Road" is that they are great fell
lows for secret societies. Most all the
drummer5 belong 70 everything that is
going. from the "Grand Knights of the
Diamond Garter" down to the "Sons of
intemperaIce." I an quite hand for
ali such mysterious things myself, so l
get solid with al the boys. nIy old
friend Crookston called on me
Tother day to see if l needed
any drugs and to hsve q visit.
We hEd g Jolly old time Wnile We we're
setta' in the c1lice cnap came II END
wanted to borrow 81 On account CT s.
remittance not coming to him as he ex-
peCtad. | told him my TWO dollars l kept
10 lend vas in now. being sent il the
Day before by johnny McEntire, but I
never lent ii except 10 drummers. H
sald: "Taat's ne" I gave him the
grand hailjng sign Of al Odd Fellow
Which he tumbled TO. Then I come The
great "hsir in the SCOT" grip of Pyth-
onic. He tumbled. Then Crook give
him the 6, B. OF the Sons of Malta. He
WAS onto it. Then tipped him the hair
poking signal OF Good Tipper. lie
smiled sad said "H. O." This is 8 chem
ical term, meaning waters" Then Crook
struck cut his hand and gave him the 7.
d. q. sign OF Royal Area Brick MGs0n.
He got thar" on that. Then Crookston
examined him as follers, 50 make sure he
was q drummer:
From whence contest thou, pard?"
"From the Lodge of the Holy St.Johns,
Michigan"
"What seek ye here 20 do?r
ITO take few orders and collect bill
OF Bison"
Then you sre drummer"
boys"
Glow do know you to be drum
meT?"
SPY my cheek and my ffty,pound sam.
pie case. Try me-"
CHOW will you be tried?"
"BY the square?"
why by the square?"
"Bec9use the square is s magistrate
anG sn emblem of stupidity"
"Where were yon first prepared to be q
drummer"
"In my mind"
"Where neXt?"
"In 8 printing Office, adjoining e rega-
lar post of drummers.
CHOW were you prepared"
"8y being Invested of my last cent, my
cheek rubbed down with BRICK, e bunion
plaster over each eye and q heavy sample
csse in each hand. In this fix Yas con
Quoted to the door OF the post"
chow did you know it WAS door, be-
ing blind?"
"By first stepping in coal scuttIe, and
efterward humping my head against the
door knob"
Chow gained yO4 admissiOn?"
"By benefit CT my cheek"
"Had you the required cheek?p
~ had not. but Steve Sears had it for
NEE
chow were you reCeived?'
"On the sharp toe OF boot, applied to
my natural trousers"
"Whst did this teach your"
mot to fool around too much"
'What happened neXt?'
~ was set down on cake Of ice and
asked il put my trust in mercantile
reports"
your answer
mot if I know myself, | don't"
"UDw wsS you next handled"
81 was put strgddIe OF 6 goaG made out
Of 2S4, and trotted nine times srCund
the room by four worthy brothers and
then brought in front of the Left Bower
for further Instructions"
CHOW did he instruct your"
ITO approSch s. customer in three uo-
right regular steps, with my business
card extended at right angles, my arms
forming perfect square."
"Ho~ was you then disposed of?5
81 was again seated On the cake Of ice
in front Of dry goods box and made to
take the following horrible and binding
oath:
/, Charles S. Robinson, do hereon and
herein most eyerIastiDgly and diabolicalIy
swear, by the Bob Tail Flush, that I will
never reveal and always steal all the
trade secrets can for me use and bene-
fit of this Mo 1t August Order. And fur
Their swear, By the Bald Headed Jack of
Clubs, that l will never give, carve, make,
hold, take or CnJ prices below the regular
rates. And 1 further swear, by the
Pipers that played before Moses, to never
hsve any commercial dealings with
any man or his wife, sister, grandmother,
old maid, cunt or uncle unless he, she or
is is sound On the goose. Binding nv
sell under no less S penalty rhAn 80 have
my grips.ck slit from top SO bottom, nv
dirty shirts and socks taken out, ard M
removed and buried in the
river st Pe2El street bridge, where the
Salvation Army ebbs end flows every two
and one-hem hours. So help me Bob
InEersoll, and keep re in backbone.
~ was then asked Whist ! most needed"
"What 8as your reply?n
'tMoney."
"What cid you then beholG?"
90 cory Of Duu & Co.'S reports, open
st chapter 'Muskegon.' Upon the open
book rested 3 pair OF drug scales, in one
pan OF which reposed ten pounds OF CON
centTated lye, and in the other sat a small
silver jackass."
"Whst did this emblem signi!y?r
"The scales indicated the balsnce be
tween debtor end creditor. The other
emhlems represented lie-abilities and
assets of bankrupts.''
"Did this teach you any lesson?"
"You bet. 1t taught me the fact that
the former ere generally SO almighty
mucd better than the latter"
"Shake, brother. Will you be
OF or from?n
"Both, il can borrow money enough
to get out OF town on.''
"Have you any cigars?"
81 have"