The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-10-22
THE COIN OF SOCIETY.
A comprehensive Definition of the Mystery
of Good Breeding.

Subtle, fragrant, indescribablc, but
all-pervading is that lovely thing we
call good breeding AS subtle and rs
indcscribable, but by no means frag-
rant, is its ungainly opposite. Kecnly |
conscious of the absence of the former, |
but unable to exactly specify and de-
fine when present, we know and feel,
but can not analyze nor tabulate-savc
in cases of exceptional sweetness and
refinement, when we can touch the ex-
action and repeat the commanding
word which governed all. So with ILL
breeding. We can scarcely say where
il was unless the demeanor was as deep
as n well and as wide as q church door;
but there it was, and we felt and knew
whether we were able to define it or
not. No one can describe discord nor
harmony. Sowith the mystery of good
breeding--the subtle harmony and
passing flavor of true politeness. 1t is
heard in an intonation-an infection
in the choice of one word over another
seemingly its twin. but with just that
difference of application, rather than
meaning, which creates the cs-
sence of good breeding. Tho
almost microscopic recognition OF
stranger-the specialized attention
of an unobtrusive kinds its evidence;
the careless neglect of an apparently
insignificant form is its death-warrant.
To be the only stranger in n room full
| of intimates and to be unintroduced and
| neglected is an act of ill-breeding
| specially Britannia. If by chance one
more kind-hearted to begin with, and
more polished by friction to go on with,
takes pity on the poor social waif and
stray, and offers any attention or reels
off the thread of conversation, that
person has this marvellous charm we
call good breeding, in which all the rest
have been deficient. When you enter II
room and are presented to the hostess
her reception of you proves her good
breeding or her bad. The way her chill
dren meet you-the way in which. at
any age beyond the merest babyhood
they speak and hold themselves-is so
eloquent of their gentle training or un-
gentle rs is Il correct accent or Il pro-
vincial. No idiosyncrasy mars the real
essence of good breeding. and all the
excuses made for lapses and LESSONS are
futile. A wcl-bred person may be as
shy as hawk and her limbs may be rs
awkwardly hung together as so many
crooked sticks badly pinned. All the
same her good breeding will be evident,
and neither her shyness nor her awk-
wardness will tell against it. Though
it costs her the well-known
agonies to sustain connected
conversation, and though by the
very fact of her shyness her brain will
run dry, she will sustain it with the
most consummate politeness, if not al
ways with the most hawless tluency.
She will put u restraint on herself and
talk her best, bad rs that best may be,
because she is versed in the art and mys-
terry of good breeding, and thinks of
others rather than herself. But an ill
bred person. if shy, is simply boorish,
and makes no trouble to conquer the
dumb demon within him, but gives way
to it and lets it conquer him at its
pleasure. You feel that the excuse
made for him-or her-by those who
want to smooth over asperities with
varnish-that excuse of being so
"dreadfully shy is no excuse at all,
For you know by experience how sweet
and anxious to be supple and at case
for all the pain it costs her-can be that
well bred bundle of nerves and fears,
who is as timidas a hare and as sensi-
v tive us Il mimosa, but also who is rs
l. thoughtful for others as the boor is dis.
I regarding.
Y Good breeding is the current coin o.
t society. He who is bankrupt therein
, ought not to take rank with the rest
i The defaulting Lombard had his bench
= broken in full conclave, and was chased
/! out Of the street where his better Ell
l dowcd brethren carried on their bust
. ness. What the old money-changer
5 and money-lenders did with their dc,
$ faulting members society ought to do
It to the ill-bred-to the people who op.
$ pose all you say for the mere sake OF
@ opposing you, and not for any thing
c approaching to II principle; who contra
3 dict you fatty, and do not apologize
- WHcu tuey are pIoNcu III tHc WioHS
IS who tell You home truths of bilious
e complexion and vinegar aspect; who
/ repeat atill-natured remarks made in their
3 presence, or repeated to them. making
), you feel that you are scorned and
II despised You know not why, and vilified
n without the chance given you of self
g justification; who abuse your known
: friends, and ascribe to them all the sins
II of the Decalogue; who brutally ATTACK
your known principles in religion
II morals, politics; who sneer at your
IS cherished superstitions and fall foul OF
9 your confessed weaknesses; who take
d the upper hand of you generally, no
is counting your susceptibilities as worth
o the traditional button. Such people a
IS these-and there are many of then
', masquerading as ladies and gentlemen
e of good position and irreproachablt
IS credentials-bu no matter what thei
e lineage nor fortune they should b.
l. cashiered; and society would be all th
n sweeter and more wholesome for TIL
.e want of them. Contrast these spin
it hedgehogs, these aggressive thorn
g bushes. these singing mosquitoes ant
lt ramuinp tarantulas with their opDo