Turner County herald. (Hurley, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1887-08-11
FUN.
Low rH1Nes-shoes.
FAITHFUL MISUNDERSTANDING.

FAITHFUL Observation-Disclosures
VERY stale bread-the crust of the
earth.
"MY motto is, Live and let live,'"
said the soldier, as he turned his back
to the enemy and fled from the battle
field.
DO MAKE yourselves Mt home, la
dies, said Mrs. Smith to her visitors;
II am at home myself, and sincerely
wish you all were"
WHAT polite man Mr.. Geestring
the violinist, appears to be?" "Indeed!"
l hadn't noticed it" "Oh! yes; bow
ing and scraping all the time"
A New YORK paper declares that
the low-neck dress must CO." Where?
Even now it is sometimes mistaken for
garter in the East.-Peoria Tran
script.
A DAKOTA Indian purchased tele-
phone last week and tried to grind cof-
fee in it. He also tried to scalp the
man that sold it to him.-C. z. Walls,
an Ne1cman Independent.
GOETHE once remarked: II hate all
explanations" He had probably just
been reading a long letter from n
debtor explaining why he couldn't
settle that old account. Teras Sif-
i7lgs.
A POPULAR writer, who sometimes has
bad Spell, wrote the name of the il
lustrious author of "Pilgrim's Progress"
as John Bunion. His publisher sug-
gested that it be put into footnote.
Living Church.
TALKING SHoP-Physician (examin-
ing rural editor for life insurance pur-
poses)-Your circulation does not seem
to be impaired. Editor-No; we're
printin' $50 copies week now, ae'in
only 500 year ago.
GEORGE" asked the teacher of q
Sunday-school class, "whom, above all
others, shall you wish to see when you
get to heaven?" With face brighten
. VIZ "Aoii uiiVi'Ji putloli, llc llUule 1cl-
low shouted, "Gerliah!"
A. BusYBoDY is generally a person
WHO has no business in !bis world be-
yond making it his buciness to neglect
his own business in order to attend to
the business of others. Such chap
has no business to be tolerated anyway.
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
WOMEN are greatsh-hic --deceiy-
ers," said Jon,a, leaning up against the
bar. "Thcrcrh..- -hic-no trusting 'em,
Theresh my wife. She said-hic-the
other day the nextsh t.me-hic-I got
drunk she'd go home to ma Ish been
drunk ever since, and he-hic-hasn't
gone yet. "-NelU York Son.
A GOOD old church deacon in Michi-
gan, who was tempted into dabbling q
bit in wheat, picked up the paper one
morning and read: "a more hellish
feeling developed in the market yester-
day." The editor had written "bull-
ish, but the good old deacon laid the
paper right down and went to the tele-
phone and said to his broker: "Sell
me out at once for whatever you can
get. have been expecting something
like this for long time, and I don't
propose to have old Satan walk in on
me. ."-IVaU Street Ne,us.
SOME PERSONAL FRIENDS.
| were down Mt Rapid City about year ergo
An struck Il lot o. railroad men what tho't thcy
wasn't slow;
They wero gvin' ter the place n sort o. reddish
hue,
An they throwed it up ter me thet nv friends
| wero mighty fewl
The other boys ut tho ranch-I were nil
alone in town.
But 'twa'n't the day fer tenderfeet ter try ter
| bnck mo down.
When they said hadn't eny friends you bot it
made me mad,
AMI backed up ter the bar IN soon showed em
that had
"GenTmen, I'd like ter introduce nv friend
| here, Col. Colt
Perhaps you may've heard thet he's sort q
| thunderbolt,-
| got tor say!"-
| An then worked the trigger an begun To blaze
| away!
Il hev' another friend says I, "rd like you NIL
| ter meet,
His name is Captain Smith-&-Wesson-y Ii
| find him hard tor beat =
He'll talk a little while ter kinder dissipate the
| gloom y
An then plugged away an hit 'em all erround
| the roomi
'1've only one moro friend Iwanter interduce
ter you,
His name is Central Renngton-he'll speak 4
word or two!"-
An whom finished up a-agitatin' thet mir gun
| The last blame were scootin' out on .
mighty lively runi
| Dakota Bell.