Morning journal and courier., 1887-09-16
MIXED.

There are four ''g's" in eggnogg, besides a lot of other ingredients.-Puck.
 Bartenders say that there is great deal of collie around at present.-New York Journal.
 t'Bright things fell from Bessie's lips, 9 in Mrs. Holmes last novel probably means that Bessie dropped the gold filling out of her teeth.-Rahway Advocate.
 The latest novelty iu gentlemen's wear is a small thermometer for breastpin. When man gets left he can thus easily tell whether it is cold day.-Burlington Free Press. An exchange, announcing the close of the medical congress at Washington, heads the article, stThe Doctors Mission Ended" This looks like a grave mistake.-Boston Trans script.
 Bobby was inspecting the new baby for the first time and his dietum was as follows: ''I s'pose ifs nice enough, what there is of it," he said without enthusiasm. s'but Pm sorry it ain a parrot. "-Exchange. Nobody has ever explained how it is that & canary will shed about two millions of feathers on parlor carpet and yet have enough of them left to save it from the charge of indecent exposure.-Fall River Advance. Stuck Again.-Mrs. OHoolihan-"Faix, Dennis, an phat are yez afther doin' nowa" O'Hoolihan-''Begob, Rosy, it's meself as has bought music stool for Katie, an Dive been woinding the bastely thing up for over an hour an not dhrop of music can Oi get out of it at all, at all. l."-Puck. Unintentional-Mr Puffer (who has re- ceatly "struck it rich')-"Pete, I'm going to get you a coachman's livery; what do you think of thata" Pete (who has been shired man" for years) )-HYes, sah, would like 1t very much, sah. It would distinguish me from de rest of de fambly, sah."-Life.
 Lesson in domestic eoonomy.-Agent-I would like to sell you book on domestic economy" Judge Peterby-"How much does it costs" "Only s6, and it teaches val uable lessons in domestic economy" ''I know the most valuable lesson it teaches. It's to be found in not purchasing that book. Good morning. ."-Texas Siftings.
 The right side-Mrs. Moneybags (to her husband )-"Now, understand me, MT. Money bags, unless can sit on the right hand side of the ship, don't want any meals at all. Mr. eybags-"Why, my dear1" Mrs. Moneybags-'I heard some one say the star board would be on that side, and I guess we're rich enough to have the best. ."-Harper's Bazar.
 A hack drlver comes near running down an old woman, but by great exertion succeeds in clearing her, and is congratulated on his skill by all observers. ''It was close shavei" cried the Jehu. 'tI was scared, be- cause she would have been the thirteenth that had run over this month, and thirteen is always an, unlucky number for me."- French Fun
 A citizen of Detroit, who probably intends to run on the next county ticket, met farm- CT from Romulus on Michigan avenue yester- day and held ont his hand and said: "Ah, fine rain thisl'' e'Well, dunno.' ''Do the crops lots of good" ''It will, ehs What eropss' "Well, er-you-know-won' it help the cropsa' 'It may soften up the dirt so I can dig out some old stumps." "Exact- ly-exactly that's what meant. Beauti- ful rain for softening- Good- byeI'-Detroit Free Press.
 A Growing Child-Conductor- Madam, did understand you to say this girl is not yet 1s years olda" Mother-'She will be 12 next spring" ..And you want to go all the way to New York in this carp "Yes." "Then you should not go on this train" ''Why not4" Because this is a slow train, and if that girl keeps on growing as she has been, by the time we get to New York she will be so large that she will not be able to get through the car door. The company can't afford to take the car to pieces on half-fare ticket "-Texas Siftipgs.