Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1887-05-25
AMONG BOOKS AND MUSIC.
Larshasle Evpsrsenes. of.he clever Young

1--WE have sons queer oriers occasion.
sllv," said clerk in one Of the largest
book houses to Boston Herald re<orter,
sand if I could remember half that happen
in any year it would mako laughabls
story. Here is \ man, for instance, who
wrote US to send him the price OF q hum
dred books OF about 35) pages each. Can
you conceive any thing more ambiguous.
1t reminds me OF a LADY Of the shoidy aris-
tocracy who ordered a bookcase filed by
dealer, her only stipulation being that
the books must bo OF a uniform size aud
bound in blue covers. We had an order
last month from gentleman on the from
tier to send books to eight OF his friends,
whose addresses he gave, tho volumes TO
cost five dollars each. As we did not know
his friends 1t is possible that we made
some incongruous selections.
at is common for Us to receive directi ons
by mail about Christmas-time like this:
'Seni me book costing about two dol
lars which would be suitable for my hus-
band Not knowing whether the hus-
band is Clergyman or a faro-b banker, IL
is rather hard to decide what would be
suitable for him. We usually select
somc work of high moral tono, to be on
the safe side, but very likely tho man
would prefer 'Scheuck on Poker or one
of Zola's works If he had his choice.
Sometimes people write: Send me the
latest thing you have, leaving us in the
dark whether to forward book Of poems,
novel or volume OF sermons. Some of
our customers have the autograph rage.
One of them wrote little while ago ask.
ing If we would pleas, got Mr.. Owen Mcr.
edith to send his name in his own hand
writing. This customer seemed to think
that the late Lord-Lieutenant OF India and
Earl in the English Peerage was in tho.
habit ef dropping into our store once or
twice day
Book buyers often ges wrong idea OF
work from its title, as in tho case Of sev.
eral agriculturists who have sent 10 rs
for 'Sheepfolds,' under tho impression
that it relates to the companions of the
small animal that NJ airy allowed to follow
her to the academy, when in reality 1t Is q
work on church architecture. A shoe
makers wife purchased Ruskin's Gel.
ebrated work on political economy en-.
titled Unto This Last thinking it had
something to do with the boot busiuesst
and returned it disgusted on ascertainin2
her error. A man who was told to buy q
copy OF 'Enoch Arden asked for 1n q
Garden We happened to have q hor.
ticultural work of the latter name, and he
took it, but the person who sent him came
to make the change, aud that is how we
AOoi hOU VI MS hlCSSCuSSTe mlSt8k0.
Titles are often very misleading. Many
people have bought Joseph Cooks
sermons, thinking that they were
discourses on the culinary art.
and recent number of our trade
paper contained On account Of an occur.
renee i'll Cleveland where farmer bought
Cooks Synopsis OF Chess Openings un,
der the impression that it contained re-
cipes for making table delicacies. II Is no
joke, but solemn fact, that a teamstes
dropped in one day to ask whether we
would recommend Goldsmith's Greece
for wagon axles. He had seen it adver-
tised.
"a lady wrote for copy Of Agnes Of
Toronto thinking, probably that Mrs.
Stoves heroine was girl who wore snow
shoes and rode down toDoggan slides. An.
other wrote: see in your catalogue that
YOU have Fern Leaves" Please write
me the price of the leaves by the hundred,
and whether you make any discount to
Sunday-schools; we wish them to trim our
vestry. lady who evidently wished for
Nathaniel Hawthornes 'Grandfather's
Chair, asked US the other day,
Have you "Grandfather's Clocls'' by Dan.
| iel Hawthornep There are two or three
| chestnuts that you might work in, which
are always funny. That one about the
country library list which announced,
Mill on Political Economy, ditto on the
| Floss is too goo1 to die. Elderly gen tie
men never tire Of discussing the relative
rsorits of Worcester and Webster as IL
| gives them chance to wind up with:
We'll, l always voted for Daniel and &c
in for him every time believe that the
story about the man who asked for Web
| stcr on Bridge is a gospel truth
"About April l our new boys catch II
ing for such well-l,nown works as Buckle
on Straps HEM on Laying Bacon on
tho Pig etc. Isuppose you have heard ot
the fellow who surprised his French
friend by bringing him a book in
the Gallo language which he had
picked up at a SALE Something
about cannibals,' no explained II
was paul ct Virginie.' Early in the holi.
days a boy and his NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ]
should say mother AID her son, but this
was boy and his mother-were lookin 9
over the stock on our counters. Hero is
what Charlie wants. cried the Lad. you
know he is crazy over wild animal stories.
l did up the book for them. 1t was M ont
calm and Wolfe"
The clerks in music stores often have
laughabe experiences. A young lady
walked into ono of the largest on W ash.
ington street and said, or seemed to say:
81 want Willie Nye." A boy was sent tc
scour the store for William, and wher
that young gentleman presented himself
it would be hard to say whether he or the
| girl looked the more astonished. "Did ou
ask for VIII Nyel" he said. Certainly
not" she replied. 81 want that new song,
will and l." An entirely new clerk at
another store came near fainting
several times during tho first day
behind the counter. He had hardly
taken his position when a young lady
with blonde tresses and eyes which SOON
ed made of bits or Italian sky walked up
to the counter. Fixing hec orbs upon
him, shs said: kiss No, Darling, Ere
You Co." They had to take him ont and
place him under the faucet, while another
clerk gave the customer the piece of
music she desired. He had hardly recoy.
cred enough to resume his place, when q
maiden Of perhaps seventy winters re.
marked to him: 'sAh Would That Could
Love Thee Lessr During the severe Ill
ness which followed, his hair turned a
raven black. But to-day this clerk is the
most calloused man in the store. All
day long girls talk TO him like this: 81
Want a Beaur' ''Give Me Back Nv
Heart, My Lover 20, Tell Me that Y ou
Love Metz '.Comc Birdie, Come and Live
with Mew And he merely replies
"Fifty cents, plcaser' and wraps up the
bundle. One can get used to any thing,
in time.
HOTEL CLERKS.
How One of Them Was Beautifully Taker
Down by Grave Senator.
'sIll tell you why the newspapers
ridicnla clorlxa so unm nrcifuilyD aaid a