The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-21
COL, o n1lLTREE.
The Quiet Way in Which He Laid Out
Wandering Arkansas Minstrel.

wandering Arkansas Minstrel.
The Hon. Thomas Philharmonic Ochiltree,
perhaps better known in his native
jungles as the Lone Star Truth En-
broiderer, still holds the champion belt
deep conspiracy was recently laid to get il
away from hint The contestant was power
fully backed up BY friends who knew him at
home and could testify that not even curl
Gus jury would believe him except when 10
was talking in his sleep. He was a mild look
ing gentleman, with wall eyes and no front
teeth, walking on crutches aud had only one
arm and game leg, but he was all there
when it came to plain L u fancy story
telling, He was from Arka Hsas, and had
graduated with honors in the lHisters' acad-
emy and his hackers were sanguine. 1t was
resolved not to give Ochiltree any warning or
time for preparation. The Arkansas cham
pion was suddenly sprung on him one even
ing at the Hoffman, when Thomas seemed out
{ trim.
The conversation was artfully turned on
tontier playfulness. Thomas clos'd one eye
houghtfully. One man said he had seen
Billy the Kid shoot two men in succession
through the pockets of hi.,ulsterat measured
distance of seventy yards. Thomas head
drooped and he emitted feeble snore.
Another told a CORY anecdote of Broncho
Sam, who kept three cemeteries going in
one horse town. Thomas was profoundly
asleep. The Arkansas champion cleared his
throat, fixed one eye on Thomas and the other
on the Bougerau, and thus filling his soul with
a double vision of beauty began He had just
dined with friend named Ridgely-Walter
Ridgely. Walter was deacon of the Metho
dist church at Texarkana and secretary of the
Young Mems Christian Association. Qlere
n 10 sF,,Ne,
VI tile meekest and longest suffering men in
Arkansas. Here Tom opened the other eyel
0ne day Ridgely was crossing n river. A
drummer was ON the ferry. The drummer
got into au argument with the ferryman and
agreed to leave the matter to Ridgely.
Ridgely accepted the position of mediator and
shot both feTrymen dead. He thought that
was the best way of settling the question.
The ferrymen each had a brother After the
double funeral, at which Ridgely Ofliciated
and offered up touching prayer, the brothers
slipped out of the cemetery and hid in the
bush at turn in the road. Ridgely ap-
preached on his old roam mare singing Cover
the Shining River" Both fired. Ridgely
dropped The brothers ran up. They thought
him dead Just as they bent over him he
raised up, wnked at each and shot both their
heads Off. Then he mounted the old roam
mare and trotted in to lead the singing.
As the Arkansas champion finished this
simple little tale Tom nodded once or twice
and then began:
"Well " lie said, slecpily, that reminds me
| of Bill Schilling, of Laredo. Bill was the
| quetest man in the town and that quiet you
couldn't think. In the fall of 80 or the spring
| of 'i0-lemme see-it was in 'G9, because had
Just got back from my visit to the czar at
| Il .....lntt
you know. In go Bill Schilling was runnin'
barber shop in Laredo. | was shlying my
follow men at the Laredo bank, but Bill, lie
said razor was good enough for him Well,
one day | was in at Schilling's gettin' my
stubble moved, n Bill was talliin' to me
about my salvation, N then the chatter
turned on a stump tailed bull pup Bill had, N
Bill was tellin' me how in flea time that dog
would sometimes spin like buzz saw, try
ing to ketch one Well, as he was talkin',
n Bill shavin' easy, for my skins tenderer N
monkeys, Bill ketches sight of two men
comm by.
"'Excusc me, kmnel,' said he Certainly,
William said l. Then lie slipped behind the
door and ketchetl up shot gun 'n-plunkl-
plunk!-hc dropped 'em like frogs, glanced
around, because my skin is so tender was
afraid 10 have Bill get nervous, but he says,
still smilin Beg pardon, kurnel,' and says
Not at ALL William N he says, AS was
sayin', kurnel, that bull pup when he gets q
buck flea right ON the tip of his tail-and then
he finished the story and gave me the cleanest
shave ever had in my life except last winter
when went down-to-W Wall-s-t-r-e-e-t. A
town marshal came in and nabbed him jusi
as he was dashin' me with bay rum from the
Rio Grande,n
The coloncl's eye had gradually closed dur
ing this narrative. His head sank quietly oil
his breast and he was sound asleep. The Ar
kansas champion gazed minute or two il
silence. Then he drew from an inside pocke
gold medal he had won in the interstate
contest last year, laid it reverently beside thu
co,omel and iled-New York World.