Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-12-03
KNO WLEDGE.

There is no better cure for dyspepsia than
the knowledge that there is nothing to eat in
the house.-Boston Courier.
Well, Robert Bonner could afford to retire.
He had handsome balance on the right side
of the Ledger.-Boston Post.
Dullard-"Do you know women love to see
themselves in print?" Brightly-''They ought
to be encouraged, my boy; it's a heap cheaper
than lk.n-Lowen Citizen.
.'The world is growing better every day
And honest men abound - some people say.
But still the finest apples of the crop,
When packed in barrels, somehow get on top.
s'I declare" exclaimed Mrs Foggs as she
vainly endeavored to dissect the turkey, eff
you aren't the poorest man to do marketing.
This turkeys old as Methuselah."
Possibly" replied Fogg, unabashed, "but
my dear, it is female bird and courtesy to
the sex prevented me from inquiring about
her age.'-Boston Transcript.
Baltimore girl Ito young Mr.. Waldo of
BOSTON, )-'fAre you addicted to the habit of
cigarette smoking, Mr.. Waldos" "Well-er
really, Miss Terrapin, ah-am ashamed to
say that do occasionally, only occasionally,
you know, smoke them" Baltimore girl
E'Well, wish you would give me one My
case is quite empty."-The Epoch.
SIN what condition was the patriarch Job
at the end of his lifes" questioned teacher
VI IL1S Ivy az LAO 4OOu VI GAO
class sDead," was the quiet response.
"What is the outward and visible sign in
baptism." asked lady of her Sunday school
class. There was silence for some seconds,
and then girl broke in triumphantly with:
'fThe baby, please, ma'am. +" - Chambers
Journal.
"What was the biggest school of mackerel
you ever sawa" asked q lsummer boarder of
old Captain Gloster ''The biggest school of
oaI-a nj cd fbo az
shifting his quid and hitehing up his trou-
sars. well, ma'am, the biggest school of
mackerel ever saw was off the Banks, away
back in '61. But, Lor' bless you, lna'am,
that waen't no school of mackerel. That was
a university. ."-Somerville Journal.
1t was few minutes before dinner when
little Fred inquired:
Mamma, have been bad -day?"
eyes, Freddie; very bad indeed"
edo you think you will send me to bed
without any supper?'
81 have great mind to-"
''WelI, mamma, I wish you would let me
know now, SO I can tell how much dinner to
eat."-Merchant Traveller.
Omaha girl-My dear, now that we are
engaged, we should begin to take practical
views of life.
Accepted loyer-So have been think-
ing:
cream, but first I want you to tell me
frankly how much money you have in your
pocket
"Just twenty-five cents and no more COM
ing until pay day"
'It's SO nice to begin figuring on the ex-
penses of living; seems as if we were mar
ried. Have you only twenty-five cents left,
dears'
''That's all.''
"WeIl, we will get along with two plates
tonight, and you can save the other five
cents for nest egg, you know."-Omaha
World
Such an affable man! was glad we had met
For he made short hour most pleasant;
He spoke in way Ishall never forget
On questions concerning the present.
His opinions, they suited my own to a T;
regretted that hours brief durance,
Then my coat by the button he took. and said he:
Are you carrying any insurance?"