St. Landry democrat., 1887-01-29
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
How Meek Mrs. Il. Triumphed Over Her
Ambitious and Learned Lord.

out Ill SpOLS. 4ue OIHeI CIV cHlHS, dlIti
he had lighted cigar and got his feet
braced on the mantel, he suddenly OBJ
served:
''NIrs. Bowser, has it never occurred
to you to call me Judge?'
''Nevern' promptly replied, for he
had complained of the biscuit at supper
''Nor COLONEL"
'No!"
''While I could probably have gone
to the Supreme Bench, or been COM
missioncd Colonel" he softly con-
! tinucd. 81 did not care for the honor.
! I am not one, Mrs. Bowser, to clutch at
| titles i'll order 10 lift myself up, hut I
didn t know but it might please you to
be known as Mrs Judge Bowscr."
Il don want the title'
''Ecry well, Mrs. Bowscr If you
have no care for social distinction I'm
sure | haven't. If your ambition is to
plank yourself in the house with that
wall-eycd baby and pay no attention to
the demands Of society might as well
| join another lodge.'
felt a bit conscicncc-stricken over
the way | had acted, and after awhile I |
went out and told the cook to call him |
JHdgc when she came in with the last |
scutti2 OF coal. When she came she |
managed to bump him to give her an
excuse for sa,ing: Excuse me, Con-
Stable-eXcuse me-
There was Il solemn silence for FIVE |
minutes after she left the room. Then
Mr.. BoWscr Observed
"Perhaps, on the whole, Mrs Bow
ser, il would be as we'll not to attempt
to call me by any title Hired help is
SO stupid YOU know
On Il late occasion, as our fircside was
a scene Of peace and happiness, Mr..
BowSer softly remarked:
Mrs. BoWscr, whenever it comes
handy you'd better throw out hints to
your lady friends that you were cdu-
Gated abroad"
"Why?"
"WclI, it will increase their respect
for YOU" ,
But | was educated in the little red '
school house at Perryville, YOU know,
and have never been out of the State t
''Don't talk so loud, as Jane may be d
listening. | told friend only the
other day that | was educated abroad.
and had been through all the art gal il
leries of Europe" Il
What place did You say you studied
at?' O
'Zanzibar.'
"Nhy, my dear, that's in African
at IS. Now that shows what YOU il
know. Zanzibar is in Germany. Mrs. Il
boWser. | don't want to crow over YOU W
On the subject Of education, but when
You display such lamentable ignorance s;
If geography 1 have to feel glad that
ny school days were not wasted.' Il
Il say it ; in African N
"Nr>. Bowsern' V,
and I'll prove it by my atlas."
of you do I'll give you fifty dollars is
Il cash!n ey
| got out the atlas, and there, over ia
N the east coast of the Dark Continent re
vas Zanzibar, as every school-child Ell
nows. "
IN take that fifty" Iquietly re-
larked.
mo, you won't! Some fool of map
laker has gone and got drunk and T.
liked things up, and I'm not going to 1e,
ay for it. When l know that Zanzi-
ar is in Germany l know it Just as well
the atlas or anybody else re-
did this friend of yours ask you co
hat old master you preferred?' to
Yes, ma am, and was posted there.
70. You may think I 90 sloshing in.
round with both eyes shut and my -.
ngue hanging out, Mrs. Bowser, but
lat s where you are dead lame | told
N Longfeller.'
Mr.. BowserI" ga,
"What now! You don't spose T
id Sam Patch or Buffalo Bill. do .
,u?n -,
But Longfellow was not a painter at .
|, he was a poet M,
he drew in his breath until his face no
rs as red as beet, and he jumped I'D On;
d down and tiourished his arms like
and finally got voice to =
ar out: Ass
''lll bet you nine hundred thousand 1ol
lllion quad.illion dollars to that old eve
ok comb in your hair! Mrs. Bowser, org
oh assumption and assurance on your cou
TT is unbearable!' tio1
Jane may hear YOU" The
''Jane be hanged, and you, too. Mrs. non
WISER, demand an apology for this IA
;ult!'
'Wait till | prove that Longfellow :, -
S not an artist, but poet" iis
IN give you million dollars if you ~
II J, | wal