Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-01-04
GNU RESEARCHES.

Experiences of an American sorlbbler In
Port Elizabeth, Cape OF Good Hope.
They have an absurd and utterly
ridiculous specimen of geological archi
lecture here, which they call a gnu. ]
am moved to expiate upon this brute
from the fact that had personal en-
counter with one recently, and the eff
fects of that encounter haven't got well
yet. He is a cross between hump
backed COW and an unfinished army
mule, and his nature partakcs largely
of the rascalty Of both. This mule-cow
is not considered handsome by the best
Judges Of beauty. His expressive coun-
tenance is hardly rs saccharine rs that
of tho average bulldog, and the rhi-
noccrous is more graceful. He has a
quantity of material piled up "forrard,
which seems TO have been left over
when he was built, and which gives him
the appearance of having started out in
life with the intention of being drom-
edary. but, getting d scouraged, gave it
up His head conveys the impression
that il was an afterthought of the Gre
ator, whitfield out and stuck on in hastei
il is never in the right place, and never
seems TO fit the wearer Ii | were to
meet one of these parties with h head
entirely omitted from the bill of lading,
| would refrain from making any re-
marks partly out of consideration for
the creatures feelings, and partly be-
cause ! would not be ut all surprised.
1t is claimed by Eizabethans that the
gnu is very tractable, docile and alto
gether admirable beast. will not CON
lrad.ct this statement-at least while !
am here-but | will say that for tho
oossessor of so many laudable traits OF
character he is very massuming and
certainly keeps them well concealed,
They milk those conglomerations
here. happened to be at a farm the
other evening while this operation was
being performed. The lady of the house
laughing proposed that should go out
and try my hand, saying that it would
be novel experience and the milk
something different to what had been
accustomed to. assenied, remarking
that was fond of gnu milk. Not inn
mediately obtaining any results, except
an occasional whack across the face
from the beasts narrative, the gentle
man of the house suggested that twist
ing the tail was sometimes an effective
remedy against switching. A few min.
utes later it occurred to me that his re-
mark was not strictly true, but upon
due reflection am satisfied that | do
him an injustice. | can not conceive
how any man who habitually assoc ates
with gnu should be SO reckless as to
tell n lie. 1t behooves them keep in
the straight and narrow way, for, veri
", they walk in perilous paths, and are
liable TO be cut of suddenly without
space for repentance. After | had
staggered to my feet and scooped the
mud out Of my eyes ! peraaiyed that |
was trine mutilated, while directly in
front of me stood that insuilerablc
gnuisance beaming upon me with wild
didn't do so any more. can not
endure cruelty TO animals. and / know
il must have panied that COW to have
her tail twisted-l feel perfectly con
Gnced of this by her subsequent actions.
Later gnus: When | went on board
one Of those Ollie olsly symplthct.c
kind OF persons inquired IL ha been
N railway collision. ! relieved his
anxiety by informing him that | was
from severe attack of gnu
'algia. This spiked his gun. w. ~
Ipi'ey, IN Detroit Free Press.