Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-01-20
MRS. ROWSER,S HUSBAND
He Chides His Wife for Having Headache
and Then Has Chill.
Detroit Free Press.

! Detroit Free Press.
The other night when Mr.. Bowser came
home was lying down with dreadful
/ headache. have headaches occasionally.
/ [ wouldn't have them if { could help it.
| but can't. Once in a while I have a
chill, but It's nothing 1 am to be blamed
! for.
"Sick, eh?' growled Mr.. Bowser as he
| entered the bedroom.
! SCOT headache"
That's always the way of it! | wish
could remember one single we'll day which
has passed over your head since we we're
married!'
I'm always well.n
sob, you are! Well then l must be
blind not TO have discovered the fact.
wanted you to go to the theater to-
MIS- ht."
IL guess l can GO"
swell, guess you can't. Mrs. Bowser,
it does seem queer that whenever l have
any special entertainment mapped out
you invariably bust it with headache,
| palpitation of the heart, torpid liver, or
some other ailment.. 1t must be the gross
est earelessness On your part. Have you
had doctor?"
"Why, no!''
know what ails you, if I have to call
half the doctors in town. I want 20
know whether I've married woman or a
bundle of drugs"
You may be i'll some day too, Mr.
B9wser."
"Bosh! I've got the strength of mind
to throw off even a case of small pox.
The Bowser family never made fools of
themselves by being upset by every
change of the weather"
! The doctor came up and prescribed
doyers powder, and he thought I needed
tonic of some sort. BoWser was
grouty all the evening and when he went
to bed be shifted and snuffed and NUT
| tered:
ooh, excuse me! thought for a mo-
ment I was in Harper's hospital"
Two mornings after that Bowser woke
me up an hour earlier than usual. His
face was very pale his teeth chartered
and I saw at once that he had chill. He
had been looking yellow around the
eyes for about three or four days, and
| it was evident that his liver was out of
order.
"What is it?" asked.
81 believe I'm going to have a chilli"
ooh, pshaw! Just exercise your will
power and throw it OFF,
"Mrs. Bowser I want you to telephone
for doctOr-two-thre doctors, without
delay! I'm an awful sick man, without a
chance in twenty of getting well!''
"Pooh! Mr.. Bowser, had all the ar
rangements made to go to the toboggan
slide today, and to have progressive
euchre party here tonight. It seems
funny that you should fall sick and spoil
all my pleasurew
"All right go ahead and abuse me all
you want to- When 7 am under the sod
you'll think of these things"
The family doctor came up after break
fast and prescribed quinine and some
other simple remedy, and advised Bowser
to lie in bed during the day.
The following was the programme of
the forenoon:
L. I soak Mr. Bowser's feet.
2. prepare him three different kinds
of gruels,
5, [ send the baby over to mothers be-
cause its cooling disturbs him.
4. stop all the clocks in the house at
his request.
5. / drive all the boys out of the
neighbOrhood to sooth Mr.. Bowser's
nerves.
6. I shut the dog in the barn and drive
the cat to the attic.
T. I make a list of his debtors and
creditors, and look up the insurance
papers.
At noon Mr.. Bowser resolved to get out
of bed, and the amount of dinner he ate
was positively astonishing. After dinner
he put on his slippers and dressing gown
and asked:
Mrs. Bowser do you suppose cigar
would hurt me?"
'PoohE'
There you go! You don't seem to
understand that have been dangerously
i'll, and that a relapse might cause my
death! Mrs. Bowser, I believe you Sec
reilly wished during the forenoon that
might die"
'Nonsense!''
"Well your conduct is very suspicious
to say the least. In case of my death
you'd marry again."
| II might"
''You would, Ell? That's the kind of a
| person you are, is it?"
| "But, Mr.. Bowser, you've been sick so
much, you know, and you've turned the
house into hospital so often"
"Who's sick?"
"You are, I'd just like TO remember the
y
ser its an awful thing to be chained to an
invalid husband"
Then Bowser began to cry, and I had
so tuck him up in bed and put hot fiat
iron to his feet, and tied rag around
his head, and made him some sage tea.
He was all right again next morning and
when [ asked him if it was safe for me to
invite company for Friday night he
roared out:
"Safe! Why not!"
''You may be i'll you know"
'And I may not, you know. Mrs Bow
ser, I want you to understand that the
Bowser family, the line descended from
never give up until the very last"
''But they recover wonderfully quick
''They do, eb? And that's because of
their wonderfully strong will power. Mrs.
Bowser, I'm satisfied that / was snatched
from the grave yesterday, and that by no
help of yours. If I do not return home