Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-04-22

Eluittb BOANu AuAO bhp N"i' "NNA -
he had intended TO put up a brack-
ct, and said:
"There's the gimlet, you'll be ask
lug for that next
"NIrs. Bowser, when l asked you
where the gimlet was why didn't
You tell me'"
"YOu didn't ask"
"What! What brought me in
from the barn p
"You came after the screwdri-
verf"
"Never. | came right IN here and
asked for the gimlet, and you know
it! Do you suppose I'd try to bore
a hole with a screwdriver ?"
"Pm sure you said screwdriver."
81 know l said gimlet."
He was mad about it all the
afternoon, and that evening, as we
got settled down after supper, he
suddenly observed;
'If you'll hunt up those rivets
I'll fix that picture frame.'
'Did you have someriyets around
here ~
"Did l? Didn't bring a paper
of 'em home three or four DAYS ago !
They've probably gone into the
stove or into the cart of some ped
dler."
"Nir. BOwser, I'll take my oath
there hasn't been a rivet IN this
house since we moved in. What
could you use rivets for"
"Do you remember the night l
brought home that bottle of wine?
Didn't take a small package out
of my pocket and put it on that
table, and didn't l afterwards get
the tack.hammer aud put a strip
on the kitchen window"
"Oh-yes.'
"Oh, you remember; do you"
"But you didn't have rivets in
that package-they were inch
brads, and they are right in the
stand drawer. Why didn't you
say brads, Mr.. Bowser ?"
"WhO said rivets?"
"Why, you did,
"DOn't you suppose know the
difference between rivets and
brads ?"
"Cegtalnly.'
"Tben don't try to make a fool
OF me- When | asked you for the
brads | didn't mean rivets. If you
don't know which from which you'd
better learn"
Mr.. BOwser was using his tape
line in the garret the other day,
and when / went up and found it
strung about | reeled it up and
laid 1t on a window sill. About 10
o'clock the next forenoon he came
rushing in with the exclamation:
"Nice neighbOrhood, this is
You we're bound and determined TO
locate up here and now you must
take the consequence :"
"What is il, Mr.. BowseI ?"
81 left my tape-line on that saw
horse in the back yard yesterday,
and some human fiend slid in last
night and stole it. 1t was by your
advice that I came up here and in.
vested $4,000 in house, and this
/ is the resultw
"Weren't you using the tape-line
| in the house yesterday ~
"NO, ma'am "
"Didn't you leave it up in the
garretg'
"Do you think I've suddenly lost
my memory! Mrs. Bowser, you
talk to me as if was half.idiot Y
went up and got the tape-line
and broughtit down to him. Hewai
caught, but what did he do but as
sumo an air of awful dignity anC
says:
"Mrs. Bowser, don't you nevel
dare to play any such trick on mi
again A joke is a joke, but wheT
you sneak into the yard and carry
my tape.line up into the garret i
is going altogether too farw
suppose there are men who keeI
some track OF their hats, gloves
rubbers, etc, when at home; bu
Mr.. Bowser isn't of that kind
Each morning after breakfast l an
prepared for the exclamation:
"There! Some Of you have beel
fooling with my hat "
Tsn't it on the hall.tree 7"
Wfit was would l stand her
asking for it l don't think Pv
gone blind yeti
"Didn't you leave it in the sit
ting-room?"
"Of course / didn't l hung |
up.bere as / came home, and som
of you have probably been using |
to store potatoes in"
Tho hat ia fOnnd 0n a char in