The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1887-07-22
LIES OF THE LINEMAN.
THE WEATHER CLERK NO LONGER
THE CHAMPION PREvARlcAToR.

nanu VINO had just Deen chased from an
east side tenement by an angry woman
armed with broom and kettle of hot
water. 81 am quite sure that can outlie
the weather cock any day, and there are
several hundred men In the city who are
just as proficient.
"Will you tell me where this remark
able band of men Is to be foundY'
"On the housetops."
"Do they 60 there to lieP'
''No they lie to 60 there"
"What do they do when they get therei'
"Oh, they string telegraph, telephone,
electric light, and all other kinds of wires,
/ am lineman, and the men speak Of
are all in the same business. will tell
you all about 1t IL you viii promise to
make the public understand that we are
not morally or legally responsible for the
lies we tell. The high toned officers Of
the companies we serve are responsible.
never told more than dozen lies In my
life until I became hneman. Last year
I figured out that averaged 68-385
whoppers per day. How did ] do iti
Well, / kept count Of all the fibs, fancy
and plain lies, and whoppers that told.
Here Is my memorandum. According to
our arithmetic 1t takes ten fibs to make
one plain lie, ten plain lies to make one
fancy lie, and ten fancy lies to make one
whopper.
AN EXPLANATION.
"That was the way I prepared the
schedule on New Years day, but don't
mind telling you that the habit of lying
was 80 strong In me that actually could
not set down the truthful result of my
figuring. But the total IL right within q
few fractions, and half the people who
study the problem will not be able to
figure any closer to the correct results.
"Let me explain" continued the line
man. "If / should through force Of habit
! tell an incidental lie, you mustn't be hard
on me. The reason why we lie Is this:
You see the boss ineman viii give Q
gang of us-that's three men-a memo
randum of an address and coil of wire,
and tell us to put telephone or telegraph
wire, or an electric light wire, on q partic-
ular house. Now, the nearest connection
is sometimes mile away, and how do
you suppose we are to get to the desired
house with the wiresi Well, we must lie
to get there-pure, simple lying fills the
bill. We have no right TO make q tele-
phone out Of Q mans house, but we do 1t
every time, with or without his consent.
Now II we went to man or woman and
said that we wanted to fasten wire to
his or her house they would object every
| time. But we sometimes tell them that
we want to pass q wire over the house,
and assure them It will not touch their
property. That Ia Q fib. II we are met
with objections we 70 to some other house
on the same block and say that we are
mending q neighbours roof and that his
traps are sealed. We get upon the root
quite often by this scheme, which we call
fancy lie. .
.'The plain lie is also pretty effective.
This is when we 60 to q house and say
that wire charged with electricity and
passing over the roof has broken and
fallen. We always insinuate that there is
danger it will set fire to the house, and il
| is a mighty sharp woman or man who
can stand us after that. When we are in
hurry we simply walk up to a house and
say that we have been ordered by the owner
to put in district messenger box for the
occupant free Of charge. That whoppel
settles it nine times out Of ten. I never
saw a woman refuse to get something fol-
nothing. After we have run the wire
over the house we come down and say
that we can't finish until the next day
| We never make more than one attempt on
one house. In the first place it would
arouse suspicion, and in the second place
| it doesn't make any difference to us what
house we get on in any block. Once on q
roof we can run all over the block, and
have many time put q wire on the house
| Of woman who had refused to let me up.
Most of these women don't know to this
day that got ahead Of them.
PEOPLE OF THE TENEMENTs.
"The funny thing about the trouble we
have is that the people in the fashionable
districts do not kick half 80 much about
the wires as the people in the tenement
house districts. Thus a fib will suffice in
Fifth avenue, fancy lie on any of the up
town cross streets and plain Lie in most
! of the east side streets. But 60 into Bax.
! ter street and Mulberry street, and il
takes whopper every time to get us on
the roof. suppose the poorer the people
are the more they stand on their rights
and dignity.
"a great deal of our time is spent in
repairing wires that some one has cut be-
cause we used his housetop. Most of this
trouble is in the tenement districts, too.
| You see the poor man has nothing to lose
by cutting the wire, but the rich man
| fears a damage suit or q scandal, and he
| first makes complaint and we remove the
wire. We always tell people who threaten
to cut wires that the electricity will kill
them as soon as the Ratchet or ak comes
in contact with the wire. That settles il
in some cases. But we often run across
people who know better. That woman
who chased me out of that house just now
is the wife Of lineman, it seems, and she
went for me just as soon as gave her the
old gag.
"Have you the legal right to put wires
where you pleasef' asked the reporter.
"Of course we have" said the lineman,
with magnificent contempt He was turn
ing away when thought struck him, and
he said:
'See here, If you won't lay up trouble
for me by publishing it, don't mind say
ing that's lie, and that we have no right
to put up the wires. New York Sun.
Habit Of . Kothschild.
One very warm summeris day when