River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-12-08
PI1H ANr poInr.


"A Missouri woman has collected
1858 spools.
"A Poet sings: "a little farther
on shall find rest" Keep him NOV
ing PUCK.
Times are pretty hard when man
can't collect his ideas or borrow
trOuble.-TeraS Sij7ings.
"A man never gets too old to learn
or TO make \ fool of himself Bur-
hHgton Free Press.
Nothing shows greater abjectness
OF spirit than naughty demeanor
toward interiors.
A Little Misrepresentation Miss
Dewdrop-'.D mt you think Mr. Rose
bush has avery sensitive mouth?" Miss
Rayne (blushing violently How
should l know" - It'd Bits.
"A photographer is out with .'Sug-
gestions to Sitters." We have sent a
marked copy 10 man who allows his
wife to take coal up thres flights and
black all the children's shoes. Bur-
tHgtOn Free Press.
A comparison.
The heather in his blindnes
Bows down 70 wood and stone:
The Christian in his wisdom
Bows down TO gold alone.
~ T. Tribune.
We have poor opinion of CON-
petition. 1t may be the life of trade
and all that but we notice that every
little country merchant announces
that he 'defies competition, and in no
instance has competition dared to take
up the challenge. -Te1as Sulhaqs.
Office Boy - 'Gentleman down
stairs with manuscript, sir" Maga-
zine Editor-''Tell him to leave i,
with the clerk. Il did, sir, but he
wants TO see YOU" Does his clothes
fit him?' No sir" Pants bag at
the knees?' Yes SIR" admit him."
A pair of bright eyes with a
dozen chances suffi ces to subdue man,
and to enslave him. and to inflame. to
make him even forget: they dazzle
him so that the past becomes straight
way dim to him, aud he so prizes them
that he would give up all his life to
possess them.
1t is no wonder If he who reads,
converses and meditates improves in
knowledge. BY the first man con-
verses with the dead. by the second
with the living and by the third with
himself, so that he appropriates TO him.
self all the knowledge which can be
got from those who have lived and
from those now alive.
If you drop your collar bu ton.
there is one sure method of finding il.
After you have hauled the bureau
across the room TO look und"~ #, then
replace the furniture and / on a
pair of heavy shoes; start 10 walk
across the room, and before YOU have
taken three steps you will step on the
collar button and smash it all to pieces.
-DdRsUile Breeze.
Have you read the Thackerav
letters?" was asked of brave Ken
lucky gentleman, as he leaned on the
mahogany bar and listened to the
bluegrass gurgling into his tumbler
mo" he said, Il don't seem to recol-
lect of perusing of them. Let me see.
sir-what case was this yer Colonel
Thackeray mixed up IMP" judge
Omaha Man-"My gracious! Wen
be late. Get your things on" Wife
MY DEAR it's raining pitchforks and
the wind is blowing hurricane I'VE
have strong umbrellas. my dress will
be ruined" Wear your waterproof 8"
And you know you have n cold" Il
can wear rubbers; l wouldn't miss
that opera for - Opera? This
is not opera nighti it's prayer-meeting
night" %! wonder if our preacher
thinks people are idiots enough 10 stir
out of the house such night rs this. "
Omaha World
A young man covered with the
dust Of travel walked into "A recruiting
station in Portland. Me-. the other
day, and wanted to enlist. He was
examined and rejected because he
weighed only one hundred and TWEEN
iy-six pounds. He said that he had
walked from the northern part Of The.
State; that he weighed one hundred
and thirtY-five pounds when he started
and that he thought he would fat
up some if he had a chance. The re-
cruiting officer told him 10 call again,
and in less than a week he did, and
had gained so decidedly in flesh that
he was readily accepted.