The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-09-28
Stomach Tinkering.

Inero ~ uOtnlnR on WHICH Nuhu
experiments oftener than his stomach,
said New York gentlemen who is old
enough to have dyspepsia, and young
enough 10 hope TO he cured. "A man
WILL tinker with biz stomach when he
wouid't think of interfering with his
clerk or bookkeeper in his store. Yet
he has been in business all his life, and
probably could take the place of his
bookkeeper tomorrow. The book
keeper has his work to do, and so long
as he does it we'll his employer doesn't
come round with new system or
new style or books every week and have
the bookkeeper switched OIL. That's
not the way to do business; but the
very man who wouldn't potter around
with his employees goes experimenting
on himself when he doesn't know what,
If anything, is the matter with him.
"lhere's thing l read few weeks
ago that a man should drink few pints
OF hydrant water Immediately on get
ting up in the morning. Now let me
give you list of the things that man
should take into his stomach the first
thing every morning. I've authority
for all these; some have been told me
by my friends; the majority have seen
in the papers, which have recently done
good deal in this good-for-the-
stomach-in- the-morning line:
IL pinch of salt in ice water.
a teaspoonful of salt in water as hot
as you can take it.
"a cold lemonade very sweet.
"Hot lemon juice with salt.
Sat lemon without drinking any
thing.
"A cocktail.
"Strong coffee.
"Tea and toast.
@The Juice of three oranges.
"A raw egg.
"Figs.
Beef tea
Immediately on getting up take a
hard cracker and devote five minutes
to masticating it thoroughly.
flake tepid bath and absorb water
through the pores of your skin. This
will make you active and timber all day.
Exercise till you are in a sweat.
Then drink water that has been boiled,
thus making sure of the death of any
germs.
This is only a start on the list.
There is fascination in it to me. L
want to try each one of these direc-
tions and see what effect it has on me.
Every week or SO L see a new one, and
1 experiment with that There must
be something good in them for some
body, but what l want to know is why
they have such fascination for most
men? Why must man always be tin
kering with his stomach? There are
hundreds of patent medicines, and the
proprietors of all of them are growing
rich. 1t has gone SO far that patent
medicines are advertised to counterfeit
the effect of injurious and impure drugs
taken under the guise of tonics. Next
there will be new patent medicines to
counterfeit the effects of these. All
these medicines have big sale. There
seems to be an instinct in a mans
stomach, like child's desire for every
new toy, that makes him want to give
his stomach an experience with every
new medicine he hears of, or advice
kind friends and neighbors give him.
at sometimes seems to me that the
mortal spirit of mankind that formerly
had an outlet in cracking some ones
head with battle-ax or jabbing lances
at each other on holidays now vents
itself in making battle-ground of
mans stomach. One friend says:
"'Old fellow, you're not looking
we'll. Dyspepsia again? Well, know
just the thing for it. Take a pint of
boiling water every morning. Brace
you up. Make you feel like q new
man.
Next friend comes along, says same
thing, only cold water. Another man
SAYS some patent mineral water.
Try them all. Ny stomach is
the most precious thing about
me. If it is out of order, I'm
no good. When it's in fine trim Pm
clipper. If 1 were going to invest ten
cents in q scheme I'd want to know
what it was and what return I'd get be-
fore I'd put my money in. Still, / try
any number of experiments on ny
stomach, and scores of other men that
l know do the same thing. Isn't a
man stomach more precious than his
money? L wonder what weakness of
human nature it is that makes him
more careful of the wrong one. Is it
curiosity or laundering after some
thing new?"
Heart Almost Broken.
I,,aLoxI L.