The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-12-28

Ho Calls the Democracy Of the Corners
Together to Hear the Mes
sage.
The Oppression of the Iniquitous Tariff
Illustrated by an Object
Lesson.
But the Yankee Product Knocked Both
NasIy and the President
Out.

CosrEpRIr ROADS
(Which Is In the staff nv kentucky,
December - 1887.
Yesterday 1 reserved the follerin dis
patch:
WASHINGTON. Dec. IL, 1887.
To the p. NJ. ut the Cross Roads:
In the intrest NV Civil Service Reform the APP
pointees nv the President are expected to see
that his utterances are Endorsed. Sec &c this
pd.q. LAMONT.
A wink is ez good ez q nod to a blind
hoss, and immejitly called a neetin nv
the Dimocrisy at the old meetin- house,
and then set to work readia the message Nv
His Eggslency, and studyin the pints wich
wanted TO elaborate. / alluz like TO be
prepared no ez to be effective. / hate goin
of halt cooked.
The pint which struck me with the great
est force wuz the assershun that the present
inikitus tariff forst the opprest and sufferin
people to pay for goods above wat tley shood,
list the amount NV the tariff levied, wich
lcvy wont to build mp oppressive monopo-
hes; wich Is to say that on every dollars
wuth NV English goods wich We bot, we
paid. adishnel to the dollar 40 or watever
per cent
THE INIKITUS TARIFF
imposed. Eff it was forty per cent, we paid
for the dollars wuth S1.40, and eff fifty per
cent dollar and half, and so on.
Ez teech best by illustrashen, the mint
got this fact fixed in my mind per-
ceeded to arrange my illustrashen:
! hev bustid, afore now, by not bein
fully prepared.
closed up the office and stepped ont to
Bascoms to get nip to stiddy my mind
which i took. payin him for ii. l am
payin cash half the time for my drinks
now, and actilly payin' suthin (ez little as
possible) on old account. Steppin out
into the street, who should see comm out
nv Oppenheimers clothin store but Sim
Gavitt, niger which belonged to Squire
Gavitt afore he wuz robbed nv him by
Linkin, and wich has the gineral cast NV
the Gavitt feechers SO much so ez to per-
duce coolnis betwixt the old Square and
his wife years ago. Sim wuz drest from
top to toe in q entire moo SCOT Nv cloze,
heying his old ones done up in paper
wien he kerried in his hand.
IJEE sTRUTK Me To-wUNsT.
"Sim," sed /, "wood dollar indoose you
to cum to meetin tonight, and wear them
cloze?"
ais 700 to speek?"
"Sartin, sed /.
A dollars purity oheep-make it dolla,
n 'alf and it's CO."
An 700 will git up and come forrerd and
be talked at when l call yoo?"
Eyes"
ats 60. Be on hand early, and ware
them cloze."
IAN rite, boss"
The evenin come, the horn was footed,
and the Dimocrisy filed out NV Bascom's.
and filled the house to overaowin. L red
the message to EN-, and seenn upon
tho central lice in it that the consoomer
wuz taxed to fill the pockits Of the blotid
manoofactoorer, worked EN- up to a pitch
Nv desperashen, wich wuz singler, eS the
clo1e on the entire seckshun NV the Dime
kratic parry In that meetin- house woodent
hev invoiced ut that mint fifty dollars.
However, / hev notist that the man whose
sole posseshun is yaller dog, and whose
wife takes in washin to support him, is the
heftiest complaner NV the burdens NV taxa
shen. myself hev dun suthin toward
sETTLIN THE NAsHNRL DEBT.
The time for my illustrashen wich wuz
to clench things had come. Il wish to
make pra ticle illustrashen," sed. Il
see Simeon Gavitt in the awjence, with a
moo SCOT Of cloze on. Will Simeon step
| foIrerd2"
Sim walked up, rather embarrassed at
bein the best dressed man in the room.
@ioo motifs this SCOT nv cloze, my friends.
/ Amt jist shoor wat the tariff rs on WOODEN
goods, buttons, thread and SIGH, but will
persoom that II averages 90 per cent. Es-
timatin the home valyoo nv the goods mt
say $40, my friend Simeon wuZ compelled
to add to that $l2, witch hez run up the
cost of the cloze. maxim and all, to suthin
like S32, the difference between ths cost TO
him under the present infamus system and
wat il wood be o. that SCOT had been adj
/ I'D e. Il kA.xx
"Praps dat's so, boss" spoke up the
cussid Niger, ode tariff, ez you call it,
may have cost me all dat, but de fack is
only paid 5000 fur de entire outfit"
"Wat!" ejsckilatid l.
"Dot is de cold fact in de case," piped
up Oppenheimer, who wuz sittin in the
awjence. DE droubles NIT you is, dot
SCOT
DON'T HAPPEN TO BE ENGLISH GooTs.
It's mostly Yank. De wool wuz crowd in
Ohio, the linins wuz made in Connecticut,
the thread in Massychoostts, the buttons
in Philsdelphy, dose masheens on wich
dey vos mate vos mate in Connecticut oof
Bensylvany steel, and the cloze wuz made
In Cincinnati by mine brudder- in law, and
solt by mo, to Sim. It's Yank all nv de
way from dc sleeps back TO the man wal
hes en- on, and de goots Is better goots
dan effer vas mate in England. / hez q
store full Nv EN-. at de same prioe-ful
cash."
"watl" I shreel<ed. faint them English
goodsp"
Nod bid oof it. We don't buy En-
giish goots no more. Gombedishen al
home ish altogedder too strony."
ZOO kin sit down." / remarkt TO Sim.
@Ther seems TO be suthin wrong in this
somewher. Opprest by q tariff, and buyin
O SCOT nv close for $10.50l"
bustld this time by bein too we'll pre-
pared. But rose ekal to the emergency.
alluz do.
My Dimocratic frends," I remarked,
sthe fault in this matter isn't with the Pres
idsnt or me. The trouble Is that Simeon
GavItt wood
GO AND BUY AMERIKIN GOODS
instid of English, and Their bein no dooty
ct all on Amerikin foods, it appears they
come oheeper. II hez the appearance, tots
tariff, Nv q sort o. barrin out Nv furrin
goods, and maxim SIGH ez we yooee here to
hum. / coodent be expected to know that,
ez hewitt paid for any close sence Androo
Jonsons time, and consistently WIZ never
pertikeler ez to the price. But il dossnt
alter the prinsiple. We want English
goods, Il appears, and we don't want Amer