The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-05-27
Little Laughs.

A prominent lawyer in this city recently
secured client in the person of a man charged
with counterfeiting, and receiving four new
$50 bills as retainer. When the legal light
went to deposit them in bank he discovered
that they. were bogus. and with remarkable
presence of mind he withdrew from the case
Chicago Inter Ocean.
This is one washed up by the waves of so
ciety: Caller lat the MacQuiggan residence)
Il hear your daughter has taken up paint
ing. Mrs. MacQuiggan proudly)--Yes, indeed
She goes to the Corcoran Art gallery every
other day. Has just finished n copy Of that
lovely Charlotte Corduroy.
When we talk about mean temperature in
New England nowadays. we mean what we
say.-New Haven News.
Why is it that the newspapers never say
anything about Mrs. James Brown Potter?
Here is lady who is celebrated for-by the
way, what is she celebrated for2-PhiladeI-
phia Call
A guest who was walking out of Chicago
hotel few mornings ago absorbed in news
paper he had just bought stumbled and came
rear falling over somebody who was down on
the floor. "Hello! what's this2" he exclaimed
hastily, as he recovered himself. "Im a scrub
lady, si-!" replied a belraggled but proud fe-
male, who rose to kneeling posture, scrub
hing brush III hand, end looked at him with a
whitening glance.-Chicago Tribune.
1T have noticed with some surprise" says
Mrs. Bagley, "that a gentleman always takes
out lis cigar, bites off the end, lights the
match and takes two puffs before he asks, Is
smoking disagreeable to your"
Look here" said man this morning, go
ing into his grOcer's, 'those eggs you sold me
New Years were bad" "Well, that wasn't
my fault" "Whose fault was it then?"
BLAMED if 1 know. How should I tell what
was inside of them? I'm groceryman; I'm
no mind reader w Washington Critic.
Wife Qhead out of second story window)-Is
that you, John Smith? Husband lat front
door)-Yesn, M dear. Wife Well, say
chrysantnemum, or you don't get into
this house tonight. Husband (heroically)-
Ch-Cbran-sythemum, m dear. Wife Gbang-
ing down the window)-Good night.-New
York Sun.
Woman to tramp)-I kin give ye some
cold buckwheat cakes an piece o. nlince pie
Tramp frightened - Wha-what's tkata
Woman-Cold buckwheat cakes an mince
pie. Tramp (heroically)-Throw in small
bottle of pepsin, madam, and I'll take the
chances.-Medical and Surgical Reporter.
Bridget (who has been sent to crack some
nuts in preparation for Mrs. Blanks little
dinner party, to be held during the evening,
enters with few badly cracked nuts upon &
plate)-Ah, indade, Missus Blank, ORR lose
me place hefOre Oh brake me tath crackin'
any more Of thin nuts Me jaws all lame
now, as it IS g II is.-Boston Advertiser.
A French Opinion of Cocktails.
Baron de Selliere became very attached to
the American cocktail before he left this
country. I think it was the Manhattan brand
that slipped easiest under the little waxed mus
tache. %Zee cocquetail ees one paradoxe,n
l heard him say in Delmonico's one day
''Zey puts in zee bitaires to make him bitaire
zee sugaire TO make him sweet, zee viskey to
to make him strong, zee ice to make him
weak. I say here's to you,' and drink him
rnyselfl VAR funnyl Vair drolel Waiter,
er1nthea. rnal.ador 1,--New York Star