Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-07
SILENT.

December comes in like a silent partner in
plumbing tablishment.-LoweH Courier.
It is not all of life to live A few months
residence in Brooklyn will prove this to any
thinking person.-Tid-Bits
Marriage certificates with divorce coupons
are being introduced in Chicago and are be-
coming very popular. Bits.
My son-Pa, what is political economy ?
Pa-PoHtical economy, my son, is saving
up ones money to pay ones bets after cleo
tion.-Drift.
luviansl' a writer asks. There must have
been there wouldn't have been any flood.
Boston Courier.
When one of Swinburnes poems is being
transmitted by submarine telegraph the mer-
maids retire into the deepest coral caves,
where they can blush unseen.-Life.
New York Girl-"So your pa is going to
move to Philadelphia, Maudes Don't you
think you'll find it awfully dull therea' "Of
Camden in q very few minutes, you know
Puck.
A wealthy old gentleman of this city, enc
hundred and four years of age, has used to-
bacco for ninety-four years. His heirs think
that if he had never touched tobacco he
might have been dead long ago. They look
upon the weed as hurtful.-Puck.
Travelling man, suppose, sir" he said,
as a Central Hudson train pulled out of the
Harlem tunnel, bound north. "No, sir, " re-
piled the passenger addressed, ''I hold gov
ernment position" 'FAh, yes, bound for
Albany, I sappose s' F'No, sir, I'm bound
for Sing Sing. Epoch.
DR.. Holmes on being asked where the
training of child should begin replied: "a
hundred years before it is born" Unborn
parents should remember this and commence
in time. There would be fewer dudes and
Anarchists in existence one hundred years
heRce.-Norristown Herald.
Butcher Ito Bridget)-"This bill has been
running for long time, and you can say to
Mrs. Hendricks that while don't want to
squeeze her for money, I shall have to if it
is not paid very soon." Bridget with vir-
tuous wrath) )-"Faith, an it's not the loikes
av yez thot would squeeze ony female mem
Der av this booTdin' house. Epoch.
Robinson-"How did Dasher get along
with his California land specuIationf' Jones
-"Oh, fret rate. he bought ranch near
Los Angeles for 1000 and sold it next day
for 100000" Robinson-efWel1, don't cali
that doing first rate" Jones-"Oh, you
don't know Dasher. He's Napoleon, he is.
He bought on thirty days credit and sold for
cash and got out of the country before they
got on to his methods. Detroit Free Press.
Church was over and. as usual, a company
of women were standing about the doorway
talking and laughing, though probably not
concerning the sermon. Soon young man
acquainted with the group approached, say
ing: "Aren't you ever going home? You are
blocking up the way like Baalam's ass
''You are wrong there,'' replied young lady
with toss of the head. ''It was the angels
who blocked the way and the ass made fuss
about it."-Boston Times.
A western incident-In Chicago: The lady
is leaning on the arm of an elegant and
wealthy young man, and leading her little
daughter by the hand. Little daughter
''Oh, ma, ma; look there! See that gentle-
man on the other side. Don't you know
him2" Ma-"N-no, my dear" Little
daughter-'Why, mammal He was papa
last year. Town Topics.
The mysteries of anagrams are many, but
who would suppose that lone hug" would be
found ''enough3"-Jewish Messenger.