Morning journal and courier., 1887-05-14
YOUNG G.

How to raise young lambs is a question for discussion at farmers meeting. Our way would be-ewes milk.-Lowell Courier.
 Impecunious -sWaiter, bring me one oyster on the half-shell." Waiter-s'Yes, sir. Anything else, sah?'' Impecunions Dude-"Do you take me for hog?'-Har- per's Weekly.
 The tramp belongs to the genus lophyrus abietis. This may at first seem strange, but when you come to consider that the Il a. is the ir sawfiy, and that the tramp flies from the saw as fir as possible, the whole thing seems perfectly clear.-Puck.
 "Dogs are among the flowers that bloom in the spring." remarked the snake editor. s'What is the matter with you" asked the horse editor. Nothing. This is the spring, isn't it?' ''Yes.' SsWell, I went into the blossom. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle-Te Telegraph.
 ''Yes," said pompous young lawyer on a street car to friend; q hadn't been down half an hour this morning before got fee of $10!" Then the eyes of man who was hanging on to a strap began to bulge. ''I say, young fellar,'' he whispered earnestly, ''what saloon dye work at? I'm waiter myself. ."-Puck.
 Mr. Night, president Hoboken base ball club (to the phenomenal pitcher at the begin ming of the season)-"What's that MI. Curve, not going to signa'' Curve-'sNo, sir. 'Taint enough money for me.'' Night-"Not enough moneys Man alive! it is $1 ,000 more than we paid you last season." Curve Qoftily)- "Well, 'taint enough. Why, the President of the United States gets $50,0o0 year."
 'Aren't you MT. Hayseeda" asked the con- idence man. tNo. sir; am Dea Snif1es, was the reply, "and I'm on my way to get claimed the confidence man. "Well, sayl I'm glad you put me on. Where are you goin' to wo1k?' ''The church is a few blocks north of here" 'sAn right! Then you just stick to this end of the town and I'll work the other, so's we won't conflict. "- Mail and Express.
 Druggist: "What are you at now, Georges' George (junior member of the firm): "Get l ting up an advertisement for our patent spec I ialties. Have run in all the cholera mixtures l and so on. What else do you want?'' "Set here, George, that will only be wasting money. There is no cholera here yet | Leave out all those mixtures and devote the
 whole space to cures for pains in the back. , Plains in the backs' "Yes; it's moving | time now. w."-Philadelphia Call. l Wasn't His Trial-sI am compelled tt throw you in the cost" said justice of the peace, addressing an old negro who had beer | sued by neighbor. ''Whut yer mean by 1T de cost, saha" s'I mean that you will hay,
 to pay the expense of this trial" "Wa'n'
 none O my trial, sah; MT. Jefferson had m
 fotch up heah, an eff dar's 'spense ter b.
 paid, wy, let him pay it. Faint nothin' te
 mel ''Yes, but the cost has gone agains you" "But ain't dun tole yer dat it wan
 my case? Oar wan't nuthin' in it fur me n
 way yer could fix it.' "Here, you will hay
 to pay $15 or we'll sell your stock" "Jis
 bercase MT. Jefferson had me fotch up heah
 I do think, sah, do think, in de name O d E Lawd, dat dis is de wust pol mans country
 eber seed Er man come CT long an 'vite yer ter CT trial an den makes yer pay fur it 1 Wush had de power O de ole prophet. r.
 hab dis community so full O she-b'ars dat e hoss-f1y wouldn't hab room ter turn round. l-Arkansaw Traveller.
 ! I awaited his coming year,
 And thought. When he comes, he'll propose | I practiced his favorite songs,
 1 brought out my prettiest clothes
 | A love of gown, made by Worth,
 ! Tender bIue with touch of pale rose; For hours polished my nails;
 read up both poems and prose.
 But. alas, when the fatal day came
 1 I'd boil on the end of my nose!
 | Life.