Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-08-18
The Evils of Gift Giving.

Sham and show, perplexity. annoyance
and extravaganza Eave crept into the Gus
toms of gift giving. Though one may
make a gift out of the depth of the heart,
and do it becomingly and unassumingly.
vet it seems as if dozen influences were
bearing on him to force him into great
er expense than he can afford, or to give
where he is reluctant to do SO, or where
he must make a show of the article gwen.
Quiet, transformations, spontaneous giving
shines brightly. when we find it, amid the
dreary heartlessness, the gaudy snow and
the heartburnings that often accompany
the formal giving that is a part of social
life
The reader NAV call to mind some we'd
ding or birthday anniversary that she Is
invited to help celebrate. The problem
OF all problems, even outranking the COM
mon, What shall wear" then is, what
present shall send" 1t is not enough
to 90 and participate in the social duties
and to be cordial in we, wishing and con-
graduation, for none OF this will pardon
the neglect or oversight OF the gift There
will be the question, "Where is Mrs. Jack
sons present. and then the unpleasant
comment, if she has made none.
So Mrs. jackson sets out to find some
compromise between pride and purse. per
haps poverty. something that costs no
more than absolutely compulsory and yet
looks as if it were worth a great deal
more, something that the other guests will
not look at slightingly, not speak OF con-
temptuously, or at least think ofin the same
spirit.
And then the guests compare these
proxies of themselves on exhibition, after
a fashion, about in the same way that they
would do, if they were to stand up before
committee of critics and have the style
and elegance of their clothing passed up
on. The show is at last over, but the
iealousies and heartburnings remain, the
fear that responsibility has been en-
dangered by the insignificance of the gift,
or the overlapping consciousness OF few
that they each made the best or one OF the
best presents OF the lot.
Afterwards, as is more or less the
custom in some parts of the country, the
names OF the donors and a brief descrip-
ton of their gifts, appear in some news
papers, there to undergo further COM
parisoG and criticism and all the train OF
Accomplishments. Finally, if the present
was valuable enough. it may find its way
to shop where duplicate presents are
bought and sold, so little did the receiver
care about the personality of the giver, or
of such little use is 1t to the recipient
among several other presents of the same
kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift max
ing are little less than sinful, if they are
short of that. Gifts are by no means al
.ho - ,bar
combined with the abuses that are often
made to accompany them, they are de-
moralizing, they are unpleasant features
OF what take the form of duties, and they
are dark spots in social lite.
Something is wrong when a present is
made test of social standing, or when it
is made the prerequisite for performing a
social act. There is an opportunity tor
reform, when what is apparently friend
ly deed. is confessedly empty of honest
intent, when it is burdensome, annoying,
compulsory, false-hearted, or made for
show, or evidence of wealth or merely for
social conformity.
The only excuse that one can make for
these abuses of gift making, is that their
compulsory features have the effect of
putting people into the habit of making
presents at time when their friendly
feelings have not become strong enough
to prompt the act unaided. With the
growth of these feelings, the custom grad
ually gets q better and surer foundation
and stands more plainly in harmony with
civilization. A gilt should be an embodi-
ment of sentiment, from which cost should
| be totally divorced as an element of sent,
| ment, and with winch no social compul-
sion should be linked, except the compul-
sion of a spontaneous expression of feel
ings. The world is not good enough for
this yet, but some attempt, if only feeble
one, if general enough, would be green
oasis in the social desert.-Good House
keeping.