The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-01-27
THE MERRY SIDEI

Must come up through much tribulation-U
S. Senator from Indiana.
*.+
You can't make the Chicago girl believe thai
''love laughs at locksmiths."
Pittsburgh is afflicted with "pink-eye." Gin
cinnau also "hath redness of eyes"
The.daily papers tell of ''a war in flour" What
are the young ladies fighting about?
A novel wall comes from New York-that Of
ga beer famine" It's just what Ohio needs.
Every man has his own estimate of society
To the hog, the mud-hole is a drawing loom.
-
We are now fully convinced that Nina Van
Zant is insane. We have seen Spies picture.
Nothing can upset a mans respect for the
wisdom and dignity of a Court-but an adverse
decision.
Watterson denies that he has entered po
lit:cal combination with HaIstead. Watterson
is not a fool.
The trouble with Democratic politicians 60
ing into Courts, is that they go after justice, and
always get it.
Nevrr attempt to cry down the fellow who is
ahead of you. You will need all that wasted
wind TO catch up.
Young m an, remember that first-class goods
on the inside are better than q gaudy sign in
the front window.
Many a young mantbelieves f or the time that
his heart is throbbing with love, when it is only
from eating TOO much.
Unfortunately. there are some things q man
may take into eternity that he would be glad
if he had left-his sins.
Indiana is like Ohio, in one respect. She
needs system of elections that can reach a
decision at the ballot-box.
Sentiment is not dead in the human breast
as long as man is willing to sacrifice his time
in reading another's newspaper.
Sullivan made mistake when he broke his
wrist fellows neck, at Minneapolis. 1t
ought to have been the neck as well.
The Commercial-Gazette says "the lunatics
must stand back" From which it may be in
ferred that Halstead is going out of politics.
Nina Van Zant who wanted to marry Spies =
probably be called 1.-THE Bride of the Gallows.''
There is one advantage in boiler-plate jokes.
The publisher knows that other readers have
laughed at them three weeks before he got
them
A bill has been introduced in the Tennessee
Legislature forbidding Mormon Elders to preach
polygamy in that State. The idea of legisating
on the size of the mans wife!
Watterson's paper says the "Mugwump pilots
are steering the Democratic ship into a Republi-
can harbor." Well, you ought to be than kfu l
that somebody is getting the rotten old thing
into a safe place.
Capt. Ella. Rrucker is on her way TO Atlanta,
Georgia to begin work. If q Georgia Democrat
can be saved-even by the Salvation Army-it
will be Joy full news
The only trouble with Clerk Vallandigham is
that he had fallen into the wrong crowd. He
is not the right kind of a fellow to be Demo
crat.
1t is claimed that Nina Van Zant, the Chicago
girl who is so determined to marry Anarchist
Spies, is great lover of dogs That is probably
correct.
Some of our exchanges call the printing of
second hand plates progress. The same kind of
progress it wodld be 10 eat a mans dinner after
he had thrown it up.
Middleport is greatly elated over the new gas
well. They have "euo ugh now to run the rolling
mill. We don't want to discourage you friends =
but "we've been there"
TIE advancement of art is wonderful. Muril-
10 or Da Vinci would have died of broken
hearts, could they have lived long enough to
see a modern calender
The Legislature is talking of means TO get rid
of dead-heats, about public institutions. The
trouble is. the dead beat can vote. as well as
eat.
A Covington man went bone one night last
week, aud ran man out of his wife's room.
Now the poor woman is going TO have him ar
rested for disorderly conduct.
Lebanon has A Postmaster named Lingo.
That's appropriate for a man who has to deci-
pher some of the 1tuff that passes through the
Postoffice.
military writer in Vermont paper is try
ing to prove that Grant was DRINK during the
war. Wen bet that he wasn't as drunk then as
that w"iter is now.
Cart. Eads is going TO build his Ship Railway.
We may vet live to the frisky Captain
mount the Washington Monument on wheels,
and go bobbing around with free show to the
Nations of earth
Boiler-Plate Market-Keeper.-"Mr Publisher,
how uch editorial and news do your readers
want this week.
Publsher.-"Four yards. Here's yonr dollar
and eighty cents. [Market-keeper saws it off,
and the poor printer looses two three days
work.
The country Democratic editors last week
made apology for lack of interesting matter be-
cause they were at the "St. Jackson Swill," at
Columbus. The excuse is certainly valid, but
the papers were as interesting as ever.
A volcano has broken out in West Virginia.
This upheaval should be a warning to Demo-
Gratis Tie State will be rid of them, if it has to
turn wrong side out.
Tinie Perron, of Salmon Falls, N. H, got two
lovers to wreStle TO see which should take her
riding. The result is one lover killed, the other
will go to the Penitentiary, and the Devil will
be around before long, after T1llie.
Two Virginians fought du-l, in the court
room, at LyncnbueS. They bangfd away until
one OF them was accidentally hit in the leg, and
several persons wounded. Why don't the chiv-
airy fight with clubs?
The Hindoo worships God by bowling to an
ugly carved image. Many Americans worship
him by trying to pound each others heads off,
for the amusement OF a crowd of drunken bum
mers Which is the worse picture?
The French declare that Minister WashbuIne
acted as Il kind of Postmaster during the siege
of Paris sending letters into the German lines,
and charging large fees. What's the matter
with the French? Could they expect man 20
do that for nothing?