Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-08-10
PrTH AND POINT.

ALWAYS seedy-The 6g.
! In o tight box-Sardines.
SLEEP is the brains picnic.
A HARD time The Iron Age.
A sEAL-sKIN-A notary public.
Our of order--A non.union man.
A MATcHLEss story-One in which
there are no weddings.
THE farmer who raises q glass too
often isn't likely to raise much else.
LOVE in a cottage means simply .
lifelong course of plates for two and
bread for one. Pack.
WlFE-Will you take me to the
opera tonight. dear? Husband-Yes,
go and undress. --Boston Courier.
COMMERCIAL travellers don't like to be
called drummers now. Some of them
neve eat partridge because it drums.
In ancient times kissing q pretty girl
was q cure far the toothache. Drat the
dentist! why did they ever come into
power?
Jaw, ARE you fond OF calves bwains,
Miss BELIEF" mo, not particularly !;
but l can listen to you for quite
awhile"
A GOOD quality Of celluloid is now
being made from potatoes Soon bull
sets will be made from the railway
landwich.
A PAwNBRoKER refused to advance
anything on a secondhand glass optic,
remarking, There is no speculation in
those eyes."-1eras Siftings.
rVia d;e;iluafop,s tn,,rb ,rl;,d
Ideal stripped Of dreamy guiss:
And not a native bent Of mind.
That makes . man philosophize.
-Teras SiftinOs.
DE CAD-That little Miss Beach is .
regular little fool. Bagley-Oh, no.
De Cad-Yes, she is. Any girl who
will firt is q fool. Bagley-Does she
firt? De Cad-Why, she 1irted with
me all last evening. Bagley-Oh, we'll,
then she is q fool.
The little 3~-year-old son Of q shoe.
maker who accidentally wandered into
o dentists office while that individual
was extracting q number of teeth for .
patient. ran home, exclaiming: "Oh,
papa! papa! Dere's o man up stairs a.
cuttin' pegs out Of . woman's mouth
Newman Independent
IT was one of the genus tramps. He
knocked at the door of q house, and
when q kindly-looking woman opened
it he said: Madam, 1 am very hun
cry. l have had nothing for q week
back" why, you poor soul" said the
good woman, "wait q moment and I'll
find something for YOU" And she
gave him a porous plaster and closed
the door before he had finished thank
ing her.-Cdrl PretzePs Weekly.
The Dakota Relief Association was
recently organized in Plankington. 1t
announced that it was "for the purpose
of rendering assistance in the time
of necessity" This was telegraphed
around and the next day the Secretary
staggered into the Office with q bushel
basket full of letters. What have you
there? ?" asked the President. "Three
hundred and twenty-five letters from
the editors in Dakota, each saying that
if we are rendering assistance in time
of necessity. to just send him q check.
Dakota Bell.
AN old fellow from Piney Bayou wa.
gravely inspecting q railroad engine,
which he beheld for the first time, wher
the boiler exploded. "Wall, I'll be
dinged!" he remarked Is he scrambled
to his feet. didn't know it was the
natur' O. the critter to belch itself al
to pieces an snort bilin' water all ovel
a Teller this erway. Wy, Bill, she's az
sudden ez or sneeze. Wall, I'll b<
dinged eff he amt layin' thar with hi
head of. The old man told you tc
keep your head when you got to town
and you lowed that You would, but II
be snatched if it peers like you've die
it "-ArkdnsdW Traveller.