The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-11-23
HUMOR.

HUMOR.
PLATO says the perfect man is four
square, but the all-round man is liable
to get there in these days. Sif-
i1ags.
AsHoRT AND SWEET EpITAPH.
He used to rock the boat for fun;
His fooling on this earth is done.
BOSTON Courier.
ADVICE to OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES on
one side of the paper, even though you
be wrong on the other side. --Teras
SVtings.
ONLY give us our bread and OCCASION
ally forgive us our debts, and we are
satisfied to take the world as we find IL.
Sunday National.
WE don't question the statement
that George Washington never told
by fond mother what he thought OF
her cute little baby.
SMITH-Hello, Gedney! thought
you took the pledge? Gedney-Yesh,
bgrashus! but amt (hic) s'mean 'sh
keep a little (hic) tn ng like that.
Burlington Free Press.
AT Sychar Camp-meeting, Knox
County, Ohio: Brethren, should
say great deal more, but can stop
right here, praise the Lord" Re-
Spouse: "A-a-MENl Hallelujahl"
"TELL you what it is" he remarked
to friend, in confidential way, "the
Fourth of July is a great educator of
the people," "Why SOP" Because it
A hAx ~ oh ~
-NeWman Independents
He was hurrying along. when sud-
denly he fell over pair of skids that
Law upon the sidewa k. Strange you
didn't see them" remarked the good
Samaritan who pick ed him up. "I'm
detective" "Oh. "-Boston Tran
script.
LAW Professor What constitutes
burglary?" Student: "There mustk be
breaking" p: "Then, if a man en-
tiers your door, and takes five dollars
from your vest pocket in the hall,
would that be burglary?" S.: "Yes,
sir Because that would break me-"
my house was entered by burglar
last night" as that so? What did you
do?" Nothing but look at him.. Did
he carry off anything?" "No; he saw
that there were only wood stoves IL the
house, and not particle Of coal on the
premises, so he went away. "-Nebras-
lea State Journal
Don't feel sure because young man
tells you that he often sees the sun rise
that he is one of those early birds who
are sure to line their nests we'll before
they reach old age He may be men,
Der of the Sea Serpent Club and have
seen the sun rise when he was going to
bed. -SaLmmeruiUe Journal.
SMITH: "That paragraph in the
Daily Hoaol touched you up rather Sc
verely yesterday, Brown" Brown:
"Oh, yes; L don't mind that sort of
thing, however. The world will always
contain fools, you know" IL suppose
so. If there were 10 fools there
wouldn't be anything for those fellows
to write about, suppose. Bling ham
tom Republic an.
A MAN who was wanted on some
criminal charge in Da ota town, dis
glised himself in a womans dress and
tried to drive out of town in carriage
but was crested before he had gone
half mile. The detective happened
to see the carriage go past and was
convinced the driver was not q woman
as soon as he noticed that he didn't,
drive twice as fast up hill as on the
level or say whoa" twice after the
horse stopped.-Dakota Bell.
In Chicago photographers gallery:
Customer after looking at neg$tive)
Mot a single hair is shown on the
head" Photographer-"No, for you
are entirely bald" Customer-"Yes, 1
know that, but 1 intended to have my
picture taken with good crop of hair"
Photo rapher-"What difference does
it make?' Observation-Disclosures great
deal of difference. am the manu-
facturer of the celebrated Never Fail
hair restorer and want to put my pic
ture on the bottle. "-Arkaasaio Trau-
eLer.