The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-08-06
MISCELLANEOUS.

WOllds
Newark, N. j., expended $500, 900
on sewer, and now finds the scheme
to be failure.
-She-"That piece of goods is very
narrow to cost $165 a yardr' He
Eyes; but, my good woman, just see
how long it is. Terms Stftings.
"A citizen of Syracuse, N. Y, claims
to own the largest dog in the world.
The animal weighs 203 pounds and
measures six feet three inches from the
nose to tail.
First Tramp-"Bill, look at this
sponge in this yer winder. It's six feet in
diameter. Second Tramp-"And just
think, Joe, it'll hold eight quarts of
beer"
DR. Martineau, French physician.
claims that carbonate of lithia and
arseniate of soda in aerated water, use d
to the exclusion of other drinks, is
almost an infallible cure for diabetes.
-Arkdnsdw Traveller.
"A Unitarian newspaper, the Chris
ttan Register, has been the recipient
recently of requests, of $500 and 81. 900
respectively, to be used in sending the
paper to non-subscribers.
Greeley, Col, has become famous
for its large crops of excellent potatoes
that are sent to several States and Ter
ritories. Irrigation and potatoes seem
to go well together in Colorado
Farm. Field and Stockman.
"A murderer in jail at Memphis,
Tenn. was permitted by the jailer to
attend a picnic in one of the suburbs
of the city, few days ago, escorted by
guard of one man,. He was the hero
of the occasion. The girls smiled on
him, the band played "See, the Con-
quering Hero Comes" and the men set
up The beer.
At Kingston, N. Y, one day last
week, female typewriter was unable
to perform on the epistolary instrument
while hearing the strains of.a hand
organ. and it was not until the music
had ceased that she could continue
writing. The rhythm of the type
writer was all out of tune with that of
the hand-organ, she explained.
The roof garden has been made. so
popular in New York since its success
full introduction at the Casino that the
idea is being initiated in, or rather on,
private houses of the flat-roof variety.
1t is hardly correct to call it an inven-
ton, however, since in at least two IA
nous cities of the tropics, Jerusalem
and Mexico, the roof garden has been
n fashion time out of mind. boston
Transcript.
"A Smithville colored man went
fishing the other day and caught a
cooter. In trying to get the hook out
of its mouth the cooter caught his fin
ger, whereupon he sat him calmly
down, observing that che would have
to wait until it Numbered before the
cooter would let 60" But he got tired
waiting, and finally succeeded in get
ting his finger free. -Sduan1ldh NeaUS
-"Beautiful !" said the drummer.
''Sixty birds in two hours, and only
missed two shots" A quiet gentleman
sitting in corner of the hotel Office
put down his paper, rushed across the
room and grasped him warmly by the
hand. "Allow me to congratulate you,
SIR he said; 81 am professional my
self" Professional sportsman" mo;
professional liar "-Erchange.
A live moose was one of the pas
0engers on board the Empire State
when she passed Marquette going east
a few days ago. The animal is little
over year old, but as large as a horse.
1t took four days to run her down with
hounds last February, when the dogs
ran on the crust and she broke through
into twenty inches of snow. She was
captured in Minnesota.
There exists in the Portuguese
army curious word of command,
which is as follows: Cara fiera al en-
nemigon' O'clock sternly at the enemy")
whereupon all the soldiers begin to
frown. Then the officer commands
"Muchissimo fieran' O'clock savage')
at the same time giving his face rs
martial an expression as he can, which
all the soldiers Immediately try to imi-
tate. Messenger du Nord.
"A girl, carving conference.-the
boy, ran into Pitts burgh police station
the other day. The child's face was
purple, and it was apparently choking
to death. Atevery expiration OF breath
a sound like that of distant cornet
was emitted from his mouth The po-
lice sergeant gave the youngster two or
three sound whacks on the back, and
out came toy bugle, which had lodged
in the infants throat.
Two young ladies were sitting to-
gether in a street-car. One of them
was very pale and thin and seemed to
be suffering. At the next corner the
invalid got up and left the car. A
gentleman who had been sitting oppo-
site said to the remaining lady: "Ex-
cuse me. I am physician. per-
ceive your friend is an invalid. "
Yes" was the reply, "she has " heart
trouble" Probably an aneurisrn. "
mo; West Point cadet. y Exchange.
The Miners Union at Butte, Mon