Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-11-11
A MAN can't be mean without :,

ON" ~ me Is TO gain nam
woman's is to change her name, '
ASSIGNEE" is the man who 10,
deal and gives himself four aces 70
A FAST man is usually verv Il.
when it comes to paying his debts '''
IT is pity that our neighbors IL
know as we'll as we do what is bes a ~
! them.
1T is better to rise with tbo -,
than with the bent pin.-Burl;na,S
Free Press. W"
The man who propels whee,b,,.
sees his work ahead of him oil thot
l-Bostoo Courier. ' ''lu
The efforts made by Boston o;,,,
improve their intellect somehow sss'
to warp their shape.-Puch. '
| Cry SwELL-Shall 1 skin von
banana, Miss Maud? Country Gomez
No, thank you, I have one skun ~
The careful annunciator is de,n,
IN small change-at least he i, ~.
careful of his ac-cents.-Teyss sd
i,egs.
speed the parting guessed" q
claimed the editor as he fired h
solved conundrum into the wat
basket.-SiJtings.
THE man who drinks himself on,
good society thinks a good deal mo,
of his stomach than his social stapdD
Boston Courier.
IT was the editor of one Of d
esteemed morning contemporaries vi
once characterized q "gent" as ber
the vulgar fraction of gentleman.
A PRINTER up in Canada is said to !
103 years old. He has made so man
typographical errors during his care
that he is afraid to die.-Somerrj1
Journal.
Observation-Disclosures, what do I'd
think of this mans injuries? Doctor |
Humph! Two of them are undoubtei
fatal, but, as for the rest of them, i,
alone can tell.
HERE is an Indian yarn: The sto
goes that young man in Allahab
proposed to q young lady in Calcutta
telegraph, adding, ANSWER We, or
at my expense" She sent him G
words of explanation, without comid
to any conclusion.
Smith, who is afflicted with col
throat, has asked his friend Brown
examine it. Brown (pee,ing do1
Smiths throat) On which side is Il
sore spot? Smith speaking with
ficulty) On the left side. Brown
Coming up or going down?
BERT1E-Mr. De Garmo, is it hard
talk the way you do? De Garmo]
What do you mean, Berthe? Idon
talk different from other peopl
Bertie-Oh, you do. You can't fol
me. Pa says you talk the create
twaddle of any man he ever heard.
An Ohio man drowned himself b
cause his lady-love would not mar
him, and an Indiana farmer browne
himself because q woman did mar
him. What they should have done va
to swap experiences, but, after all, thd
probably chose the wisest course th1
was left for them. -Ne,vn,a71 Ind
pendent.
LADY of the House No male cousil
Henry, whatever do you mean
putting your coffee on chair? Cous1
You see, my dear Amelia, your coHa
is SO weak I thought I would offer 1t
seat. Master of the House-Iou a
doing my wife an injustice, Henry; til
coffee is strong enough; it has bee
standing since this morning.-Der No'
THREE Frenchmen who were stud
ing volume of Shakespeare in the
native language endeavored to tran
late into English the well-known ope
ing to Hamlet's soliloquy, "ro be-
not to be-" The following was the1
suit: First Frenchman-To was
not to am. Second ditto-To Whel
or is to not. Third ditto--To Shout
or not to will.
AN Irishman, writing to his wife VI
was still in could Ireland" began
letter by making the following slrp'i
ing statement: cts a foine countnt
Bridgoy, an no mistake. I've this "
put phwhat they call ON inshoorance,
me loife; an, if I'd fall down laaa]
wild me hod an break me neck
morry, begorra an I'd get twlntT-I =.
dollars wake as long as I'm dead
a foine country, that's phwat it Is
"DoN'r say nothin' to me 'b0ns
bird in ther hand bein' worth wv
ther bushes, said a tramp, cause
hain't Solve tried an I knows
took a bird out NV er bush ther v'n
night were fine brown Lesp
bird an it were something Nv 10
bush-an' I hadn't more'n got " NV
in my hand fore er man biazea
with q double-barreled shotgun
filled nv legs so full O buckshot '.'