Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1887-06-23
HERR AND r1rsRE.

Those who wish to paint the town red
IN Sundays must nee water coloEs. - Life
We have an idea that Samson did not
uccumb 10 the hsir-cutiing alone II was
he barbar's talk that made him weaken.
-Terds Siflings.
A mans funny bone, we presume, en-
.nles him to ssleugh in his sleeve. ~
Yosskers Statesman.
President Cleveland will leave Wash-
Ington ON Thursday for 10 days fishing
excursion in the Adirondaoks, Mexico
London Times, Nay 49,.
Oolleetor-'.T am losing great deal Of
time trying to collect this bill from you"
Dsbtor--''Dont worry about losing time.
am going TO pay you in time. - 9etds
SUSiHes.
Claws, Mrs. Jups, what a ailhA' Mistah
Jupe 2" "Po' man got de- lockjaw."
siMhew Is IL keiehin Z" oh, Yes, in
deed ktteh il from raa'y nails an sich.
--Harper'S BaSar.
A Thrifty Housewife Young House
keeper TO butcl,er) --''how much do you |
charge for spring lAmbW hatcher =
ssTwo-fisty for hind-,lnnrter, mum. 7"
Young Housekeeper Well, give me thu |
smallest you have. My husband says we
must econ0mize ON meat this month. -
Pack.
Visitor to Humane Society (writes on |
slalel I'm leaf and dumb. want your
first class medal. Secretary Cakes slate
and writesl On what grounds Visitor
tresuming slate)-rm the only man in
New York who hasn't cursed the giants
lately.--N Y. GNnBlerciai Adpsrtiser.
Jacks sister [''Gshingly'D--Jask the
class races are awfully interesting, aren't
they? Jack (who has some one else's
sister in view for that day. dear,
bnt they are terribly brutal affairs Every
man reooyers ON siretoher. (Jaoks'
sister shoulders and feels resigned)-
Harvard Ldapooa.
Major Kincaid (who has just popped)
Pm not SO very old, Miss Daisy. King
| solomon was over hundred, you know,
when he married, and I'm sure he made
a good husband.n Miss OroEier-"Yes,
| but he had SO many wives ut time that
| the--er--calre of him was nicely dis
tributed, don't you know r''-im BITS.
A true word spoken in jest; Yves,
madam, " said the tramp, 'in better days
used to practice at the bar" "And
| now responded the lady, II suppose
you are satisfied TO work the growler.n
But the tramp considered it no subject
for Jest, and passed along -Ettsbure
Dispatch.
The Austin. Ia Sun says, Good luck
and misfortune go hand in hand. Lon
Baker presented the editor with gallon
OF curr,.ut wine tuesday afternoon, and
that evening our horse ran into fence on
the square and broke our buggy and
threy ms out y We should be inclined
to consider that as simple cause and
eifeet.-BOston Post
The people of Buffalo, N. Y, ere max
ing preparations to have "a genuine
old fashioned Fourth ot.July celebra-
ton" As such celebration includes
the destruction by fire of several build.
ings, the manning Of a score Of boys, and
Is per cent increase in the drunkenness
of the town, not many persons outside Of
that city will envy Buffalo her "old
fashioned Fourth. -NorTist0ton Herald
Lack Of memory-Kennedy Ito Simr
: son, who lives in Brooklyn and does bust
! ness in New York -"What's that on youi
: finger ~ Simpson with gratitude)-
6Tnanks, awfully, old fellow. I'd almos
forgotten about it. That is string M,
! | wife tied there to remind me to brinl
I something home" Kennsdy-stB rinl
e home what ?" Simpson--"By George
e er-Tll be switched if haven't forgotten
4 what. n--Nelo York Graphic.
e After certain concert well-knowi
n German cantatrice asked gentleman L
whom she had been introduced how b
!, liked her duet "Yon sang charmingly
y madame. But why did You select such
y hurrid piece Of music?" Sir, that wa
n written by my late husband y "Ah
y yes, of course. did not mean Blu
a. why did you select such q COW TO sin
u with you?" 'Ach Himmel that is m
u present husband y Chambers Journal.
" Possible customer What does firsi
y class funeral cost Mr.. Laymeout5" Mi
' Laymeout fuudertakerl why, none c
your family are dead, are they? Possibl
customer -''No, not yet, but the old lad
I. has bought kerosene stove, Johnny
. got new bicycle and my eldest daughtt
= is keeping company with Pittsburg dud
!, who carries half.trigRer pistol. II
~ we'll enough to keep abreast Of tt
market. "--Jud2e.
n They tried TO choose a jury-l2 homo
!. u. n 80 and. distinguished for their nbs
~ AuIH NtsC'NF III tElUtt5 tifiS CNntllNA
!, was cna Because he brought
IN view some little trace OF inteilect In
r. that would never do The next vi
~ dropped directly, as quick as you coul
~ wink, because he said when he WAS your
10 he sometimes used to think. The ne
"a was turned away in haste without a secoI
look for he imprudently confessed he on
had iat,i Il jc1,,--.-NeD York Comnserei
Advertiser.
IS. Mrs. Pious-''I do wish, Mr.. McSnorte
'ar that YOU would come mp and see my hi
-, band. He is very i'll, and am afraid "
~ die without experiencing religion. Dor
" you think you can convince him Of I
NJ necessity Of atoning for his past neglect
y The Rev. McSnorter--'1 will try, Nj
Pious; will come up this afternoon ri
see il can't induce him TO leave some
his fortune to the new theological sen
nary" Mrs. Pious chastity )-"On seeo
- thought, Mr.. McSnorter, don't belle
~ =, your presence will be necessary
ny Wife What 10 you think of the n
II. girl, John2" Husband-"Was that /
TO that inst let me INF" Mife-"Yes." Ii,
al band-"wen, she's inst daisy" w
id ,icilyl Think So" Husband tenthu
in astically Think so! Why, she has
i'll COMP 4Alon ilhe q moss rose anu eyes II
ned -like--I don't suow what; and her te,
.en are splendid too" Next day when 10
ew went home 10 dinner he was let in b,
pr. girl with complexion like polished
lot cny, eyes As large as saucers, and te'
~ like two rows Of piano keys BJS
rly Courier
lui THE pSE IDEA.
u George 'alk 70 me- the maiden cried
% break the silence drnGr.
~ Tonight, me ues.u replied,
1eR one idea.
strange. she answered ni
asked ii Tear
- she swee;ly smiled.
,Ws ave won nigh dear"
fri NAl An Mr. Jones you tiatter nj
alia Fray make yauE meaning clear.
~, ~, 'utss =. have to. sir gmshed She.
leu ,;At one I 4 hear
s fail 70 see The point he tlushel
80 iar ard yet so n3au;
ven! z Then open both your Dyes she tlusl