The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1887-07-28
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, JULY %, 1887.
WIT AND HUMOR.

fleu. -DUTtttytOH fT6S TT6SS.
Between young Parisiennes: why
is it, my dear, that you always dress in
black?" 80. | am very fond of black. "
''But it is gloomy" That's just it. l
like TO imagine myself a widow."-
French Fun.
The man who does not think as you
do is not always fool OF course the
chances are that he isn's so wise as he
might be, but then there may be little
loophole of escape for him somewhere.
SOnlerCille journal.
AT place / 90 to-, said Hobson,
they have had the gas fixtures taken
out and electric-lights put in, but there
seems to be as much gas as ever"
Where's that?" asked Tompkins AT
the BARRIERS "-Net0 York Sun.
Don't you find people around here
very sociable?" asked Cobwigger of a
new neighbor Yes, indeed do, !"
was the hearty response. only
moment ago | met beggar, and he
held ont his hand to me. "-HaTper's
Bdzar.
Physical training for girls must go.
A girl in Boston discovered that a
months work in gymnasium in
creased the size of her hand by one
size of glove, and she quit training
faster than you could drop hat
Toronto Globe.
Czarina Coming in to breakfasD-
Good morning, my dearvitch. l." Gar
Good morningscoff. Czarina-Allow
me to congratulate you upon escaping
assassination during the night" Gar
"Thankski. VIII you please taste the
coffee to see if it is poisoned?"--Ptcb.
'sDo you see that dignified-looking
man across the way?" Yes" He
has been a vestryman in our church
and Superintendent of the Sunday
school for over twenty years" us
that SOP" Then in lower tone:
What do you suspect him of?"-NeO
York san.
Sir" exclaimed irate Mrs. Bliffins,
as she gathered her skirts about her. |
told YOU to stop at this crossing. What
I'll give You To understand that I'm Mrs.
Blillins.' ''Ah, very happy to meet
you, Mrs. Bliflins. I'm Tom Johnson.
The Jatdge.
In Bermuda-Poetic caller (who
has come down on the last steamer)-
what is that balmy, spicy odor that
watts in at the easement and seems to
send the new life spinning through my
sluggish Northern blood?" Practical
caller Cwho has been there three weeks)
Onions It'd Bits.
One night at tea the conversation
turned on the seven brothers mentioned
in the bible who one after the other
married the same woman, as each one
died the brother next younger married
the widow. For PHYS saker cried
our Swear old boy, chow long did the
widow last ?'-B0St0,1 lTareLcr.
Clara-''Can it be, Dolly, that you
are to marry Mr.. Smith, after saying
to me so repeatedly that YOU could not
endure him?" poily-'sThe truth is,
Clara dear, that until heard that his
aunt had died leaving him Il fortune, |
was deceived in my own feelings
toward him. "-Harpers BGzar.
Prof Albert Russell Wallace, the
English naturalist, is a profound be-
| liver IL Darwinism and evolution, is a
strong spiritualist, is a pronounced
| Swedenborgian, and is somewhat of a
mind-reader. Fellows, bet you Il case
we've got hold of the very man who
| can translate Browning. Burdette.
Citizen -'sAh, Mr.. Jones. just back
from Washington? Enjoyed the trip,
as usual, supposed" Returned states.
man-"On the contrary l did not.
| Travelled by Il new route" Citizen
How? which?" Returned Statesman
by way Of the Interstate Com.
mero8 law" -Minneap0iiS Tribune.
At a negro wedding IN this city a
short time ago when the words ..loye
honor, and obey were reached the
| groom interrupted the preacher and
said: Read that again, sab; read il
/ ,,,nnce mo-, SOS de lady kin ketcf
the full salmplty oh de meanin' Tst
been married befd'. 2~Gritn fGa.
| Ne1as
Invalid fretfully TO his nurse)-
What is that Internal row in the other
room? Is anybody getting killeds
Who is that calling for the policef
Nurse Gcassuringly)-O! don't mind
that sir. It's Mrs. DR.. Pellets, Miss
| DR.. Calomel, ana Nine. DR.. Juniper
! holding a consultation, sir.-Nel0 lOrh
Mail.
CZarina whats in that enormous
box, my dearvitch, that is being un
loaded from the drosky?' Gar
The box contains a big cake of SOAP
| I've Just had made to order. l shall
have hole dug in it large enough tc
crawl into, and then sit there and snaI
my fingers at the batiled Anarchists )
-Ne1c York san.
Dear old organ" sighed Araminta
Sentimentally, lit has been in the
family for twenty years. How well
remember, though only 8 years
old, the day it was bought
| And here she shut up like clam,
| but Richelieu said "mam?' twice be.
fore he guessed what was the matter.
Detroit Free Press.
Il wonder what has become OF
Bjlkins. Haven't heard of him for
years. said Jones. Il thought you
had heard, replied Brown. "Bilkins
went to the bad months ago. He went
rapidly, too, after he got started.
"Ah, by the fast express, as it We're"
NO, by the fast mail route, so to
| speak. "-Neto York Mail.
| flames" said the milkman to his
new bog. "d'ye see what I'm a doin
OFF, ~ es sir, replied James; you're
a pourin' water isnto the milk" mo,
I'm not. James; I'm po1G.rrin' milk into
the water. So if anybody arskS Jon j
put water in my milk you tell EN- no.
Alters stick TO the truth, James; cheatin'
is bad 'norgh. but lynn is wuss."
Baseball magnate-Want job as
umpire, oh? Applicant-That's what
I'm after. Ever umpire before?'
No" PLAY ball?' Never" Then
what are yonr qualifications" 4 have
been leader of church choir for ten
years. why didn't You say so be-
fore? You're just the man we've been
looking for. Consider yourself en-
gagged. -PittSburg Dispatch
Il may not be 50 eloquent as some