Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1887-09-07
story Jumped To- the conclusion that
there was to be third story.

storysI jumped to the conclusion that
there was o.be 8 third story.
81. 90. .=z a SUGGESTION. Sc. -.
4 A Dallaslady was giving her daughter
instructions in etiquette, and how to
acquire a husband. .#s=
xst.If a gentleman enters the rooms
etiquette demands that you arise from
your seat, and advance al few steps to
meet him with bright, sunny smile. -
'.ButS. suppose no gentleman ever
comes into the roomp' - # ,s.s= n !
( ''Then Of course you don't change
your position; you remain just as you
are. Editors Drawer, in Harper's
Magazine for September.
u, s@S 30. NOT IN DANG R.:.29s. sssa8eas b
H.you have boy named Bill, or Bud,
or Sam, ORION, you need not fes.r;t that
he will be drowned during the SWIM
ming season. The boy who has plug
name ana whose hair stands IN straight
like hazel brush, and who has stone
bruises on his feet, is not in danger OF
drowning. But if your son has curly
hair and if he wears shoes in summer
and has pretty name you had better
let him swim in washbowl.
NO REGARD FOR HER FEELINGS.
An Austin family, has a colored SER
want that, while very attentive to her
duties, has never been known to give
anybody q clever answer. Purely as
an experiment the lady of the house
bought her q new calico dress, and
gave it to her, saying, - $%jf
IL am glad to have the pleasure,
Matildy, of giving you this dress. D. .---
Eyer mout hab had dat pleasure long
ago, ef yer had had any regard TO- my.
feelings" was the gracious reply
Editors Drawer, in Harper's Maya
zine for September.
4 MooTED QUESTION ANSWERED.
Polltician-H you people don't like
the candidates we nominateSwhy don't
you attend the primaries and shape
things to suit yourselves?
Citizen-I can't afford it.
'.Did you ever try?'
Eyes, three times, and had my pock-
ed each time" $50
ABoY's ADVICE.
A. pretty hard-lookings citizen. was
seated in Moffat alley yesterday read.
ing a piece of newspaper he had picked
up, when bootblack approached and
asked him for match. ~ -
':Don't you see I'm reading2" snap
ped the man as he looked up.
els it an Injun storyp'
mo, sir. I'm reading about SUM-
stroke, and fourteen rules to be OBJ
served in such cases.
"See here, stranger" said the boy as
he went closer and dropped his voice to
confidential tone, '.you are throwing
your time away"
GAS howP'' /
II see it tried in the police court
every day, and she don't work.
"Why?''
because the Judge braces up and
says: Patrick O'Harrigan-case OF
sunstroke come up here! Rule one
IS or thirty days! Just take my ad.
vice, mister man, and throw that paper
away. Here's a novel about love.
Love is all right, and the Judge can't
sock ye for it, but let sunstroke alone.
The law is dead agin 'em in this eli
mate. "-Detroit Free Press.
AN IGNORANT EDITOR.
Editor-''I should think your repor-
toeos would houo copco opcnoh MT r. S1;
up with beer before writing, such
weather as this especially"
Local editor They don t touch any.
thug stronger than lemonade while on
duty
s'Nonsense. The man who wrote
this article was as drunk as boiled
OWL
'sThat, sir, is portion of report OF
discussion at the Concord School of
Philosophy" -
"Oh!''
HINT FOR BAD sPELLERs.
"How do you spell deceased?" asked
the Sergeant of the doorman.
with a z, I guess" returned the
sNooAAAt~AA ~
COME off! There is no z in de-
ceased. Where is that dictionary"
Il don't know, sir. Sergt-was look
ing for it last night" -. ~
THAT'S tough. I'm not sure about
that word, and don't want to make
mistake.''
,"Follow Sergt-'s plan, them sug
gested the doorman. "Whenever he
gets stuck on spelling word he writes
it Theoretically and quotes it. '''-New
York Mail.
HIS OBJECT.
Detroit Free Press: A transforming
actor, who is passing his summer in
Detroit, was approached by friend the
other day with:
Il hear you have new snapp"
eyes; I am going to the country
towns with a new play"
"Going to organize companyr'