The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-07-02
COLONEL DOMAIN ON NATURAL
 GAS,
Yenowine's News.

tHc Co>NtVHVittsth NVitNSpVAtASht Ve NtS NerS. was invited to take part in the big celebration in honor ''of the prac- tical application of natural gas to the mechanical arts" In addition to the formal invitation of the committee, he got personal one from John Sherman, who has recently made q large amount of money by an invest onel Donan was detained, and he sent the following letter of regret:
 CHICAGO, Ill.,, June 6, 1887. ID the Co,Vmiaee ef Intiidfe".
 GENTLEMEN: Your kind invitation to join you in your natural gas celebra- ton has just reached mo, having been forwarded here from Fargo. Dakota. l deeply regret that it will be im- possible for mo to attend. l would be delighted to unite with the boomers and public benefactors ot Findiay in jubilation over one of the gmndest strides forward in all the new worlds magnificent march of progress-a as you express it in your letter, "the prac- tical application Of natural gas to the mechanical arts" l think our whole sixty millions of Americans should rejoice with you. No other country on Gods earth has such infinite and eXhaustless stores of the raw material. We can beat all creation on natural gas.
 Every convention, "anens, town meeting, legislature and congress is bottomless reservoir of it, with only the horizon for rim and the sky for q lid. All our national. state, county and municipal council halls overflow with it. Every newspaper office from Cape Cod to Tuba Dam is spouting well of it, mixed with blue blazes and birthstone. Every genuine American is perambulatory tank of il, and many of our imported Americans keep it forever on tap in dangerous proximity to their torches and dyna- mite magazines. Every business in- terest is inflated with it, and even in our churches it sometimes breaks forth with the energy of an unregcn- crate cyclone.
 It has roared and sized, missed, Iumbled and thundered all over the land ever since our proud, bald headed Bird of Freedom cut his eye teeth and quit wearing his brooches buttoned up bchind; but no plan for its practical application" to any use- ful purpose had ever been discovered. You wise men of Findlay now shout Eureka" and the new world should fling up its 6o.o0O, ,0O0- headed hat till it catches on the horns of the moon, and split its 6o,0oo, ,00o- larynx power throat in m earth shaking, ocean, quaking. sky cracking hurrah in your honor.
 sound the hcwgag,
 strike the ton ion
 Beat the fuzzy guILN,
 Wake the gong.quong;
 Let the ioud hosanna ring
 Bum -ttm, tuIlle bum,
 Ding go-bim'
 If you have really found the method of "practically applying natural gas to the mechanical arts" nation of natural gasstifled frcemcn should rise up and call you blessed in tones that would jostle the stars in their orbits. You have rolled in the jubilee. The millennium is near at hand.
 If there is a pound of power to the million cubic yards of natural gas, one presidential campaign would pro- pei all the machinery in Christendom till the fellows who devised and en- acted the interstate commerce destruc tion bill became respectable asses.
 With sized main run into the National Capitol, and smaller pipes into all our state houses, court-rooms, city-halls and editorial sanctums, every shaft and spindle and loom, every cogwheel, trip hammer and hand-organ, every buzz-aw, wheat -corncr elevator scissors grinder, whirligig and merry go- round in our peerless, four ocean washed empire of liberty, can be run without cost, free gratis-for- nothing -without-a-cent.
 From where the storm tossed At lantic thunders at our eastern portals to where our occidental slopes bathc their feet of snowy sand in the blue waves of the Pacific; from the multi floral rainbows and frost wrought splendors of our aurora borcalic realms, to where the bilIowed sun shine of the Mexican gulf chants Its ceaseless anthem to shores of everlast- ing green and gold, the whole vast en- ginery of hemisphere's industries will be driven free-free as the air of heaven and Findlay. All handling of fuel will be done away. An toll of wood chopper and coal heaver will end. Labor will bc abolished, and onr thrice happy artisans, in snowy dress-shirts, with diamonds of the reg ulation hotel clerk dimensions in their bosoms, Prince Albert coats, lavender trousers. plug hats and royal purple kid gloves, will have nothing to do, the whole holiday year long, but to