The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1887-10-20
Wanted to Neighbor.

We moved OH the first Of the month
into neighborhood in which we found
ourselves among strangers. we hau
been informed by our landlord, how
ever, that we would find the people
..sociable and neighborly' in the vicln-
ity of our new home. This we found
to be true, and we record our exper-
ience. that those who read it may arm
themselves with shotguns and other
weapons of defense should they con-
template coming into our neighbor-
hood.
We hadn't unpacked our goods yet
when long, lank, sallow woman
climbed over the back fence and came
shambling into the house without OBJ
serving the polite custom of first ring
ing the bell.
aTm Mis- Sary Ann Beggs," she
said, by way of formal Introduction.
II thought I'd come right in an git
acquainted fust off and let you know
| / was willin' to neighbor with you.
If they's anything l do jes natchelly
love it's to neighbor with folks, an
liked your looks the minnit seed you.
/ amt got but minnit to stay; thought
YOU night feel more to home if you
had an interdooce to some OF your
| neighbors an knowed they were will.
in to neighbor with you. I'm willin'
| to neighbor with anybody that's de-
cent. But must hurry home. L just
| brung a teacup along, thinkln meppe
could borry it full of coffee. I'm
Jest out an hadn't nobody to send fol
| any. Pm short of sugar, too, an II
you could spare me tin cuptul Ia
| be 'bleeged to you. You see Pm jest
that neighborly come right in te
borry of you fust thing"
| My wife got the woman the things
she wanted and she cleared out aftel
saving for the nineteenth time that she
..callated on neigborin' with us righ
along" Before night she vaultet
lightly over the fence and came il
again.
"Here l am agin," she said cheerily
Thought mebbe you'd be lonesom,
'thout no one to neighbor with.
found myself short O. tea for suppe
an thought I'd run in an see how yol
was gittin' on an neighbor with yo'
some more My flour bar'l played ou
to-day, an l amt had time to go dow
town an order another, so if you'l
fill this bag with flour I'll be 'bleeged
Amt GOT any No. 40 white thread
have YOU? Yesa Well. I'd like t.
borry your spool, and if you'll jes
stick IA needle or two in with it I'd 1ik
it. Amt got no bread baked, hav
youp A half loaf is all need, an
if YOU could let me have the loan c
butter enough to go with it it'd be
favor"
MY meek little wife gave the 'neigl
Dor" all she wanted, and she struck
: bee line for home. We were eatin
our supper when the lank female al
peared again, :.
2 My man wants to neighbor wit
YOU too. He's bout the size of you
2 man. We're goin' to a ball to-nigi
3 and if you'd loan him some dancing
boots and a white vest he'd be thanl
a full. 1 brung this cup for little sal
D and"
1 An old shotgun of mine was in
f corner. picked it up and said cold
: and cruelty, and in dead earnest;
"You clear out! And don't you ev'
come back while you live. We're NJ
4 in the neighboring business at presen
Avaunt!
! She avaunted and the next day 81
: circulated a report throughout Il
town to the effect that she had caug
me whipping my wife; that had bee
in States prison; that | was half N
gro; that our children had been in Il
:; reform school; that our furniture w
= q mortgaged; that we had been in Il
u poor-house all winter; that we wei
u living under an assumed name, M
that reward was offered for my a
k rest for bigamy and highway robber
~ -ZenaS Dane IN Itd-BitS.