The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-06-01
Pith and Point.

cannot sing. mat poet mas our gratitude
SomerUille Journal.
SENATOR SAWYER of Wisconsin pays a
physician $4,000 per year for attendance
upon his invalid wife.
A PRISONER at Washington the other day
paid his fine in counterfeit coin, which was
not detected at the time.
Mrs. GRUMPY thinks the great trouble
with modern novelists is that they don't
know when they have written enough.
FORTUNE knocks once at every mans
door, but she doesn't go hunting through
beer saloons for him If the man happens to
be out.-Puck.
A PHOTOGRAPHER at Winnipeg, Man, hur-
ries up delinquents by displaying their pho
tographs in his window, with their names
and amounts due attached.
If you are troubled with weak eyes never
sift ashes while facing the wind. Get your
wife to do it, or wait til the wind shifts to
another quarter. d-BitS.
The unemployed are so numerous in the
Australian colony of Victoria that the gov
eminent has arranged to employ several
thousand men at half wages.
A MAN in the Duchy of Anhalt has
wagered 1000 marks that within two years
he can copy the whole of the Bible, punctu-
ton and all, without single mistake.
A CONCERT by celebrated singers from the
grand opera was recently given at the " Bon
Marche," the big bargain store of Paris.
Seven thousand people listened to the music.
SEVEN women, accompanied by eleven
children, attended the funeral of John Butte
Holmes in Plaintield n. j. Each asserted
that she was his widow and that he was the
father of her children.
"THE WRESTLING Buoy is announced
as the leading attraction in the June Lippin-
colt. As general rule, the whistling boy
instead of being an attraction is an internal
nuisance NorristoWH Herald.
WHEN a man complained about hotel
with no means of getting out in case of fire,
Popkins said that he didn't care for means
to get out of hotel. What he needed was
means for staying there.-TerdS strings.
THE births recorded in London every
week exceed the deaths by more than a
thousand, and during the next ten years
the increase in the number of inhabitants
will probably be nearly three-quarters of a
million.
A MAINE man. whose wood-pile was I'M
accountably being gradually reduced in
size, set a watch, and found that neigh
boris Newfoundland dog made nightly visits
to it and dragged away big sticks to his
masters door.
AN old curmudgeon who died in England
lately left legacies to the amount of 955, 900
and stipulated for brass band at his
funeral and banquet to the mourners. BY
the time the last bones of the banquet had
been picked clean it was ascertained that
his whole possessions consisted of a thirty
shilling horse and f3 worth of coarse hay.
TEACHER giving directions for standing):
Stand with your heels together, toes
turned out, making an angle of forty de-
grees." This was followed by look of
bewilderment on one boys face. Teacher;
" Well, Tim, do you know what | mean?
Do you know what degree is?' Pupil:
oil Dir, I.
Sixty-nine and one-fourth miles"
A TRAVELLING straightforward man visited
an Indian encampment in Idaho the other
day. He took one of the camp dogs in
hand and soon drew large number of coins
from his tail, to the intense establishment of
the Indians. When he left the Indians
promptly killed the dog and dissected him.
They were ready to lynch the magician
when they found no money in him.
BISHOP THOMPSON of Mississippi, tells this
capital joke at his own expense. He says
that as he stepped off the cars one day at
jackson, Miss, he was approached by an
enterprising dusky drummer for a local
at the Larence House." Another darkey
standing near by said: " Dis no gemmen;
dis Bishop Thomson. Macon Telegraph.
A MAINE editor came near losing his tenn
per the other day. In a notice of one of the
local choirs he said that " the well-trained
and cultured voices of the excellent choir
showed to the best advantage in the an
them, When Morning Puppies all the
Sky The choir was Mortified on the APP
pearance of the paper to find the title of
their star piece to be "When Mourning
Puppies Fill the Sky
A FARMER of forty acres in Illinois has
never had his land plowed. He tolls not
neither does he spin, yet he makes more
money than most who produce legitimate
10 ia1 fy 10 rutt laot ,aly 1,toh
he breeds by the thousand. He has con-
tract for two hundred fifty at twenty shil-
lings each from Philadelphia medical firm
The money is earned in catching and kill
ing the snakes and in running many risks
OF being bitten.
The latest remedy for dyspepsia is
"Goto," which a recent writer has discov-
cred in the Canary Islands. 1t is an article
of diet pleasant to the taste, nutritious and
easily digested. 1t is made of roasted corn,
wheat, maize or barley, or mixture of two
of these grains. The grain is more than
parched tbs, so to speak, cooked before it is
ground. " Gotio," therefore, needs no other
preparation than to be mixed with water or
some other liquid into a paste.
THIS scene is located in the Arkansas
legislature. Member from White Oak
Fork: Mr.. Speaker, you, sir have doubt
less read something concerning the tariff.
Sir, l am opposed to all kinds of oppression,
anu bueIelOTe move you, SIT, UnaU we
abolish the tariff" Speaker: "That power
belongs exclusively to congress" tAnd
hasn't the state of Arkansas got anything to
do with it?' No." "Then, sir, | was
laboring under a misrepresentation AS
arose to make a motion, l will withdraw
my tariff motion and move you, sir that we
adjourn till one o'clock
LAST Sunday as Miss Alice Allbone of
Toad Hollow was passing by the post-office
in that town she looked through the window
and saw a letter in her box. Now she had
been hoping for letter which Mr.. Joseph
ii. Funjoke, clerk in Boston 99-cent
store, had promised to write her weeks ago,
and she was sure that was it. But the post
office is closed on Sundays, yet she walked
mile and quarter to the postmaster
house, woke him from a sound nap and he
good-naturedly went to the Office with her
and got the letter, which she eagerly seized
and thanked him for, ever so much. Bitter
disappointment 1t was spring bitters
circular.-Melrose Journal.
THE introduction of soap is doing much to
civilize the people of the holy land A large
soap factory has been established on the
site OF ancient Shechem, and the people are
beginning to use it on their persons instead
oftrying to eat it, as they did at first Along
with the introduction of soap other reforms
are going on. Bethlehem has been rebuilt
and the streets are lighted with gas Ces.
AREA is having building boom. Nazareth
is becoming the headquarters of big olive
oil spectators. Corner lots in Joppa are
going up with a rush and real estate or
Mount Carmel is LARGELY held NV snanuIators