The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-04-23
LiMEKILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Furnishes a Wretch Found
Guilty of Stealing an Umbrella.

Brother Gardner Furnishes Wretch Found
Guilty of Stealing an Umbrella.
Previous to the opening of the meet
ing Brother Gardner, Sir Isaac Wal
pole and Waydown Bebee were seen in
earnest conversation around the presi-
dents desk, and when the triangle
sounded it was pretty well understood
throughout the room that some mat
ter of gravest Importance was on the
tapis One individual seemed TO feel
even more than a lively curiosity.
This was Brother Process Davis,
member of about six months standing.
He damned himself into a corner and
tried to appear as small as possible,
and when inquiries were made about
his sore heel he let on that he had an
awful toothache and didn't want to
talk Scarcely had the meeting open
ed when he was called to appear at tho
presidents desk. The look of terror
which came to his face as he rose up
proved that he regarded the matter in
Il very serious light, and he shuffled up
the long aisle like one going to an exc
cutiOn.
"Brudder Process Davis" said the
president in very solemn tones, sat one
of our weekly meetin's last fall, an as
we war about to dispense to our homes,
Sir Isaac Walpole disEibered dat his
umbreller was mssin'. 1t was an UNI
breller wild q white bone handle, an it
was an heirloom in his family. His
gran fadder had walked under dat UNI
breller, an it had kept de rain off his
faddcr, an he himself had owned it fur
nigh upon thirty Y ars. Ithad been left
in kyars an on steamboats, an on de
front doah steps, an nobody had took
it. He had brung it down heah two
hundred times, an it war allus waitin'
fur him when he got ready to go home.
At las some one stole it-some human
hyena laid his desecrated paws on dat
sacred reflex an bore it off. We made
cherry effort to find it, but de hunt was
in vain. Den we settled down to wait
for Justice. She nebbcr sleeps. She
sometimes does good deal of foolin'
around, an dar am sometimes mighty
long wait between de ackts, but she
nebber sleeps. She didn't 60 to sleep
dis time. She war lookin' fur you, an
yesterday she oberhauled you. You
had Sir Isaac's umbreller under yer
arm. Heah am de libin' proof to con-
Wet you! You are de hyena who stole
it, an you are now befo' de bar of
Justice! Prisoner, how do you plead?"
Process stood there with his mouth
open and could not reply. The sudden
shock seemed to have paralyzed him.
His guilt was as plain as the hind but
tons on coat.
t "De pusson who will steal an UNI
= breller under any circumstances, con-
tinued the president, deserves combine
A punishment. In dis case you stole il
a from fellow-member of society, an
4 you added de sin of lynn to your crime.
Your name will be crossed off Our
: books, an you will enter dis hall nc
a mo foreber. De carryin' out of de rest
e of de sentence am left to Giveadam
Jones an Hercules Johnson"
: The prisoner was removed to the
L ante-room, and about minute latel
:. Paradise Hall was shaken from roof t.
cellar. This was followed by bump
|, ing sound on the stairs leading to the
n alley, and this again by the sound o
Il fee making rush for life. Brothe
c Process Davis will doubtless remain il
o Canada during the rest of his life
!, Detroit Free Press.