The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-13
BRIGHT BITS.

A RUGG STREET YoUNGsTER who has been the
possessor of cats of several coors and sizes felt
ike having change, and so remarked to his
mother the other day, as he stroked the cat he
held in his lap: Mamma, ] hope the next cat l
have will be dog!''-St. ALbGas Messenger
New YoRKER-Have you any new slang out
here?
Omaha Girl-Oh, yes. When we bear an old,
old story, or something that we know is a lie, we
say chestnut" It's great fun--but what's the
matter? Are you i'll?
No, he had died; that was all.--Judge.
"HUMPHl but you are wearing your fathers
hat, " he said as he looked over the fence at the
other boy.
Il know it, was the reply ~,
Hey! but You are ashamed"
mot muehI amt A fellow who can't make
use of his father hadn't orter have one
Detroit Free Press.
CouyrRYMAN lin dime museum What's your
Freak-Im the man who can pass o door
with the legend Paint on it without daubing
it with the index finger to see if it is dry,
Countryman-Gosh! How much dye git
week?
Freak-Thousand dollars, sames all the rest.
-NeW York Sun.
OMAHA DoMEsrIc-We want ten pounds of
sugar, five pounds coffee, eight pounds
Grocer-See here, you tell Mr.. BlinlSs I'll not
sell another cents worth to him except for cash.
Cash? Why, I've got the money to pay for
EN-"
"Dearie me! I've made mistake He told
me to go to the other store. Omaha World.
BISHOP WHITE of Pennsylvania, was sitting
one day at dinner with that bold fnancier of the
revolutionary times, Robert Morris, when the
latter said: Bishop, have made my will and
have devised to you all my impotence" IN
that case" replied the Bishop, you have GER
tanly left me the greater part of your estate"
Yes, Bishop" interposed Mrs White, land it
is plain that you have entered Immediately upon
inheritance OTl
GRAY-Smith insulted me so terribly to-day
that feel mad enough to kill him.
Green-What's the matter?
Gray-Nothing. mere matter of $40 owe
him for couple of years or So, The mean fell
low that he is, called me swindler and a scoun-
drel and great many other names
Greenland you feel mad enough to kill him?
Gray-I do.
Gresn-Then do it Pay him his $40 and the
surprise will kill him-BOston Courier.
LITTLE D1cK-Aint those heathens funny
| what think elephants and COWS and things is
sacred?
Little Dot Yes; why don't they have a sa-
| cred eagle like we have-its good deal nicer.
Eagles amt sacred; they is only patriotic,
| like the Fourth of July-that'S all"
Yes they is sacred, too"
They amt.
'Oh, you bad boy, you. In our church we
| have great big eagle with its wings out, and
the minister puts the Bible ON it, so there now"
Omaha World.
THERE is young man in the parlor wishes
to see you, miss" remarked the hall door at
tendant at a downtown residence.
Did he bring anything with him-any box or
parcels"
"OnIy cane, miss
did his coat-tail rattle when he walked, as if
there was package of candy in the pocket:'
Nothing of the sort miss
Then tell him I've gone to visit a sick friend
and won't be home for week." replied the fair
girl, falling back into horizontal position and
reading Truth Stranger Than Fiction; or, The
Liar Unmasked. Clinton B,tgle,
WHEN the ''moustache movement" had &C
quired some Roadway here in Boston an eccen-
trio merchant of the old school, who had OBJ
served that some of his clerks had yielded to its
attractions gave notice that while he opposed
the tendency he was willing to make compro-
mise with such of his employees as were in favor
of it, Calling bis clerks together be made short
address on the dangers of trifling with the pro
preties which custom had established in regard
to shaving and ended by saying: 81 do not pro
pose to wholly restrict the gentlemen in my EN-
ploy from wearing moustaches but | cannot
allow them to be worn in business hours y
Boston Post