The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-04-26
TT COST NOTHING.

why u dying MAN concluded TO FO3GpOnS
the Final Act OF LIES Drama.
A curious-looking old fellow, dressed
in gray "homespun, was found lying
in an alley. When questioned by some
one, he turned over with groan, and
said:
"Go on away from here now and let
me die"
"Why do you want to diep''
because / am blamed fool"
''Come, get up, that's no excuse.
"Yes, it is. Gro on away, tell you,
and let me die"
Haven't you been drinking?"
"No, hain't fetched drap. Go on
away and let me die, tell you. A
man that amt got no more sense than
I have amt fifteen to live. It's danger
Gus for him to walk about"
"Come, tell me what YOU did?"
With an effort and another groan he
raised up, leaned back against the wall,
and said:
"If l tell you, will you go on away2"
Eyes"
"Wall, I'll 90 you whuther or no.
Early this mornin' i come inter town
an met a Teller that / knOwed. He
asked me to 90 round an take break
fast with him. | had dun eat break
fast, but as it wasn't no expense to me,
| concluded that it wouldn't do to let
the vidults 90 to waste, so / went with
him. / eat shout a lOng-handled shovel
full NV batter cakes and drunk four cups
Nv coffee. argyin' all the time that it
want cOstin' me nOthin'. Airter / got
through / went knOckin' round, an
putty soon / met teller that eat din
ner with me while he was candidate
last summer. He said that it was git
tin putty well along in the day, but
that if I'd go round home with him
he'd skeer up some breakfast. / start
ed to say no, but .ricollectin' how he ate
at my table, went with him. On the
way he got lot NV these here great
long sausages. Wall, / stored away
about two pounds Nv them sausages,
eatl about my hat full NV biscuits
an drunk three cups of coffee.
By this time L wus putty well
filled up, but shortly afterwards one
NV the boys that lives out my way told
me that he had found saloon whar
they put out II whole lot NV vidults an
let people eat all they wanted to, so, as
it didn't cost nothin', l went round.
let in on big dish full NV sour potatoes
an raw cabbage, an made myself at
home. After l got through with that i
went to dinner with Teller because it
didn't cost me any thing, an eat putty
hearty. Then 1 struck out an eat a
few apples that l slipped out Nv a
wagon. an then l eat piece Nv cheese
that found in a saloon, just because it
didn't cost any thing. About this time
the old boy commenced to overtake me,
an / lodged in here an drapped down,
an / hope I'll die before / git outen
here, fur, as / said jist now, man that
amt got no more sense than have amt
fifteen to live. When think that have
at myself to death jest because it diden't
cost any thing it makes me so mad /
don't know what to do. Oh. how / do
suffer all overr'
"Come along with me-"
"No. I'm goin' to die right here
"YOu must come"
"I won't. I'll never leave here till
I'm taken away dead, fur, as said,
man that amt got no more sense than
l have amt fifteen to live"
"Then you won't go?"
"Won't move peg"
"Tm sorry, for I've got roast pig
down at my mouse. and would like for
somebody to help me eat it."
Hold onr' exclaimed the dying
man. "Dog my eats if 1 don't jine
yer. an die afterwards. "-ArkdnSdU
7raCGlcr.