St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-03-12
A GREAT BLESSING.


rhe Incomparasas sysssn Of coupoa Let
ters Of Introduction Invented BY Bill
Nye.
The interchange Of letters of intro
auction between old friends. by which
valuable acquaintances are added to the
list, is a great blessing. and in good
hands these letters have. no doubt,
been the beginning Of many q warm
friendship; but like all other blessings.
it has been greatly abused. I have
been the recipient of letters, presented
by tourists, which. it was easy to see, had
been wrung from some sandbagged
friend Of mine-letters with sobs be-
tween the lines, letters punctuated with
invisible signals, calling upon me to
remember that the bearer had looked
over the writer's shoulder a. each sen.
tence grew into polite prevarication.
To those who are in the habit Of Civ
ing hearty letters of introduction and
Endorsements to casual acquaintances,
desire to say that am perfecting
system by which the drugged and kid
mapped writer of style Of assured sin.
ccrity and bogus hilarity will be thor.
oughly protected. Let me explain
briefly and then illustrate my method.
A casual acquaintance who has met
you say four or five times, and who
feels thoroughly acquainted with you.
calling you by the name that no one uses
but your wife, approaches you with an
air of confidence and betrays his utter
| ignorance of himself, and asks for
letter Of introduction Tin the same seri-
Gus vein in which one asks for match).
You are already provided with my
numbered Introductory Letter Pad.
You write the letter ofintroduction on a
sheet numbered to correspond with
letter of advice simultaneously to the
person who il to submit to the letter
Of introduction.
For instance, . young man inclined
to he "fresh." enters your Office or
library, and states that he is going
abroad. He has learned that you are
intimate with Dom Pedro, of Brazil.
Perhaps you have conveyed that idea
unintentionally while in the young
mans presence at some time. So now
he asks the trifing favor of letter Of
introduction to the Emperor. He is
going to see the President and Cabinet
and members of the Supreme Court be-
fore he leaves this country. and when
he goes to South America he naturally
wants to meet Dom Pedro. So you fill
out the right-hand end or coupon of
the sheet as follows:
International introductory Litter Systens. Form.
Z2s.l
No B 1885
SIR: You will please honor this letter Of in
PRODUCTION in accordance with the terms OF
certain letter OF advice numbered rs above,
and bearing even date herewith, mailed 70 you
this day, and 0blige, Yours etc., Ar
The young man goes abroad with
this letter inclosed in . maroon alliga-
tor-skin pockct-book, and when he ar
rives in Brazil he finds that the way has
been paved for him by the following
letter Of advice:
International Lstrodasovy Letter Systens Form
Z2sl
No. B i8,as&
Your MAJESTY: Mr.. W, young man
8S8Uk10C6 m8fOOU-C0IOfG0
ligator-slin pocketb0ok, bearing letter Of In
PRODUCTION TO you numbered as above, is now at
large. He will visit Europe for . few weeks,
after which he will tour about South America.
He will make . speciality Of volcanoes and
monarchs.
He will offer to exchange photographs with
you. but you must use your own Judgment
about complying with this request Do mot al
low this letter TO influence you in the matter.
You will readily recognize him by the won
derful confidence which he has in himself, and
which u not shared BY those who know him
here.
He IL fluent oonversationalist and can
talk for hours with0at fatigue TO himself
You will find II very diflicult to wound his
feelings, but there would be no harm in trying.
Should you get this letter in time, you might
do ~ you thought best In the matter Of Qusran-
tine. Some foreign powers are doing that way.
Mr.. W-has met great many prominent
people in this country. What this country
needs IL more FREQ trade ON the high seas and
better protection for its prominent people.
have tried TO be conservative in what I have
said hore, and II have given you better opin-
ion Of the young man than his conduct on fuller
acquaintance will warrant assure you have
not done 20 Intentionally.
You will notice as once that he il . self-made
nature need not be In any way diminished.
With due respect, your most obedient serv.
ant b
To his Imperial Majesty dom PEDRO.
EMR.nOR or BRAZIL. Ero
No. z 0ssn
srR-This letter Of sdviee will probably pre-
cede . tall youth named Brindley. Mr.. Brind-
ley II young man who, BY . strange combina-
ton of circumstances, II the eldest son Of per
feet gentleman, who now has, and will ever con-
tinue to have, my highest esteem and my prom
,ssory note for eSO
Will you kindly bear this In mind while you
peruse my pleading letter of introduction, which
will accompany Mr.. Brindley. Jr.!
All through his stormy and tempestuous
career IN the capacity Of son TO his father, he
has never done any thing that the grand jury
could get hold Of. Treat sim - well - you
can consistently, and II you can get him posi-
ton In bank, am sure his father would ap-
pEeciste it. A place In q bank, where he would
not have any thing 70 do but look pretty and
declare dividends In . shrin falsetto voice,
would please him very much. He 10 . very good
declaimer. He 10 mot accustomed to manual
toll but he has always yearned to do literary
work. II he could do the editorial work con-
nectcd with the sightdraft department, or
write humorous Endorsements on the backs -
checks, over . a0m De piwSse, IL would tickle the
boy almost 70 death. Amy thing you could do to-
ward getting him position in . large bank that
10 nailed down securely, would be thoroughly
appreciated BY me, and should be glad 70 re.
taliate st any time Yours candidly,
wYMAN DAYToN.
10 x. o. PECK, ESQ, LONDON.
A beautiful feature Of this invaluable
system is the understanding to which
every body is committed that the orig
inal letter is entirely worthless on its
presentation unless the letter Of advice
has already hpen received. Nue..