Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-09-01
THE STOMACH.
An Old NewYorker Gives Some Advice
in Regard to Its Treatment.

An old New Y orker, who was brought
knows all about eating, gave some
points to reporter the other day
about the way for man to make
friends with his stomach. There are
two big mistakes that almost all per-
sons make" said he. ssOne is that
they don't eat the right things, and the
other is that what they do eat they
DOM eat right. Dyspepsia and indi-
gestion are killing more people than
rum ten times over. Why de-
lirium tremens is joy compared with a
bad digestion. When man has the
tremens he's happy sometimes, because
he forgets himself, but when he's got
dyspepsia his stomach is always with
him, and he's always conscious of it.
He can't sleep. His food doesn't taste
right. Boils break out over him.
He's morbid. All his friends seem to
have deserted him, and some day he
goes off and blows his brains out.
and the public and newspapers say
he had business troubles. Bushes.
troubles! Why, what does man care
for business when his stomachs all
right! If his stomach is right, his
head will be clear, and he'll prosper.
No glutton or dyspeptic can stand up
alongside of man with a sound stom-
ach and clear head.
when you got up this morning
what did you do? Went right off to
breakfast and filled yourself, with your
nose in the papers and your mind
wandering over the earth. You don't
know what you ate, or how much
or how long it took. For all the good
il did you, you might as well have
swallowed bacon and cornbread, or tur-
key and buckwheat cakes, or any
space in your stomach. Then, while you
ate, you gulped down ice-water and
coffee alternately, and when you got
through You lit a cigar and went down
town, glad you had done your part of
the work of the day.
That's not breakfasting. It's load
ing up your stomach, and it's worse
for you than if you hadn't eaten any
thing. Then you have a headache and
feel bad, and grow fat, and wonder
why it all is. It's because you don't
pay as much attention toyour stomach
as you do to your office boy. Your
stomach takes revenge by making you
wretched. To squelch it you pour a
lot of liquor into it and gulp some ice
water on that with a cracker OF bret
eel and a bit of cheese, What sort of
mixture do you call that? Just
imagine the cheese and rum and bret
eel and think that something in
CT Ia Of II To Writ |,
that. If you want to drink, drink and
enjoy your drink. Don't down it and
fling things at it when you've got it
down. Take a glass of wine and en-
Joy it, but don't fling it into your
stomach as you would your fist into
somebody's eye. Your stomach ought
to be your friend, but if you go to
pitching into it it'll show fight, and
you may rs well understand that it
will get the best Of il.
''When you get up in the morning
take big drink of water. Your sys-
tenn wants water first An engine
isn't first fired up and then some water
let into the boiler. Clean your teeth,
and let the water run from the spigot
while You are doing it. Then drink Il
pint of it. Use common hydrant u
ter; no ice, no salt, no mineral water.
Ordinary water is good enough for an
ordinarily healthy man. Keep away
from drugs and pills and give your
stomach 4 show.
eff you Re in a hurry to read the pa
pers, read them before breakfast. When
you sit down to the breakfast table be
happy; you're going to do something
pleasant. Breakfast isn't penalty
imposed on YOU or a task to be per-
formed as soon as possible, but u pleas
ant, enjoyable occasion. Try and
have somebody talk to YOU, and talk to
yourself. Laugh. Start off with fruit
some oranges, say. Then eat some
fish and stale bread, or stale
rolls or toast. If you want anything
more eat some meat. Take your time
to it all. [ stay at the table for an
hour and eat all the time. Don't eat
much, but take your time to it. If
you haven't time, eat less. The time
you spend at breakfast will be saved
over and over again during the day.
IF you've been up the night before,
don't take cocktail or ice-water. Try
some broth and some tripe if your
stomachS pretty far gone. When a
mans been off little his stomach is
raw and infamed. He doesn't want
to start right off with more rum. Let
him give his stomach a show. It'll pay
him to. Coddle your stomach in the
morning and it'll stand up for you at
night. If you go pitching into it the
first thing it will have its revenge.
Don't smoke in the morning. Don't
drink in the morning. If you must
smoke and you must drink, wait until
your stomach is through with break
fast. Try this thing of starting off
fair and square. You can drink more
and smoke more in the evening, and
it won't tell on you. A mans stomach
is his friend. and if he'll only treat it
kindly the first half of the day it will
show its appreciation and stick to him
at night.
Hone