Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-13
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN it is remembered that Brigham
Young left some forty wives behind him no.
body can be so foolish as to believe that he
has returned to earth.-B,StOR Transcript.
AN Albany gentleman was lately notified
by an attorney that he was descendant OF a
noble English family and heir to S75. 900 0OO
He wrote the attorney that he was tickled to
death to know he was English, y'knaw," and
that honor alone would suffice; they might
keep the money. There's benIgnlty for you.
-At5GaY Journal.
A NOVEL advertising scheme was intro
duced by merchant in Carthage SATURDAY.,
A series of prOdigious boot tracks were
painted leading from each side of the square
to his establishment. The scheme worked to
perfection, for everybody seemed curious
enough to follow them to their destination
quincy lIH0 Wing.
WELL KNOWN professional gentlemen said
concerning the General Assembly "inve tlra-
ton" and lJ5 hang-iire developments that il
reminded him of a motion made by a Copnec-
ticut legislator on the famous dark day -
The member rose in his seat and with quiy-
ering voice exclaimed: "Mr, Speaker 7
move who's afraid. - PF00idsRcs ,5Oul nal
'HAND painted coal scuttles have made
their appearance IN New York" Very
aesthetic. no doubt; but when a man goes into
dark cellar with hand painted coal skut-
tie and collides with post, or bumps his
head against jOist, his language is ant to be
as lurld and vigorous as if the scuttle were
simply daubed with coal tar by machinery
NOrttstoacn Herald.
A GENTLEMAN in Paris called upon lady
who has mania for dogs. Ten or twelve
puppies greeted him as he entered. He re-
pulsed them kindly, when the lady ex-
claimed: lit is very easy to see that you de
not love doge."
Not love dogs" exclaimed the visitor. aT
guess, do. l ate ten of them during the
siege."- French Wit.
LEADvILLE MINIsTER-Coming down to the
church social to- night, aren't you?
Society Young Man-l'm afraid not.
Leadville Minister-Sorry not to have the
pleasure of your company.
Society Young Man-You see, I'm havinr
my pistol repaired, and -
LeadYile Minister-Oh, come down: I'll
lend you one.-1td- BIS.
LANDLoRD-That porch is rotten, and ought
to come down
Tenant-1e6.
Landlord-S6 ought that shed root. TIA
very little better.
Tenant-1es. And there's somethinV elae
ought to come down.
Landlord-Ah, indeed! What is that
Tenant-The rent, sir.-Hdype,'s BasIr.
AN Austin lawyer caught tramp in his
Office stealing some law books, when the lat
ter intended to pawn. Selling TIE INTRUDER
| by the collar the lawyer exclaimed: "You
| scoundrel, Pli nave Won tried and sent to the
pcnitentiary." Let go my neck. Colonel
| If you are going to have me tried, reckon
| I'd better engage you as my lawyer as Won
| have the luck to be on hand.-Ts.o Is SiftIngt
"WHEN the express car on a train is robbed
| OF $4,000 or 500 600 who is the sufferer" he
asked of Kansas City lawyer, as he laid So
bill on the desk.
"Yes-ah-the express company, of course ,,
"And the railroad company can't make it
| an excuse Tor not declaring a dividend?"
mo"
THAT'S all. I've got six shares in the Kan
sas City and Chicago road, and Pm going
| down to the ticket office to get a dividend or
shoot h-ll out of somebody Wa0 Street
| Ncios.