Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-18
BURCETTE.
Poin:ed Paragraphs On Current Topics
of Interest.

Poin I'd Paragraphs On Current Topics
of Interest.
A piece OF Queen Nictoria's wedding cake
is nov on exhibition in London |; was used
for clock weight for great many years,
but as II has dried out and grown lighter with
age il is now only fit for q brick to hold the
door open.
During Queen Nictoria's rsign-may her
shadow never grow less; it can't grow very
much grearer-tbere has been added To her
realm 7,ajo, 600 square mics Of territory, and
the population she controls has been about
treblei. This is why our big hearted mother
shudders with horror every time she sees any
other nation casting greedy eyes upon an
island in the Arctic ocean forty miles square
II Victoris-God save the queen-reigns an
other fifty Years, God save the rest of US
She would by that time own SO mnch Of this
earth that the British pussessions would stick
Out beyond the edges halt way to the moon,
and all the II factories in the universe would
lie running ON double time
De L-SseI~, the we'll known Eeiger and
ditcher, is abused man. The last time he
Went away from the Panama istbmus, some
body pulled the plug out of the canal and let
all the water out. Ii WAS doubtless the work
Of some fun loving American, but all the
same such jokes ale in very bad taste; We
never tasted ole Of them, but have been told
they are brackish.
We live in land of statesmen Every
four Years and at times between whiies there
is the smell Of the postoffice in the air and
the low, sweet sound of the consulate Is heard
i'll the distance. We see the shadowy forms
OF United States marshals Vet TO be- and out Of
the dreamy gates of the impossible drifts the
sad procession of never to lie supreme judges.
Ours Is dear and favored land for the fel-
lows who do not get left.
We love our country, the most Of US We
fight for her and work and sweat and struggle
and swear ami lie for the blessed privilege Of
administering her finances; some of US, oh,
America America, " hat would be a country
without officest 1t would be like bed room
without a bed; a cat without a voice; cigar
without a match, or Coney Island without
beer.
No, indeed, my son, We don't have the
preaching We used to have when your grand
father WIS boy; indeed don't Who
has been telling you about its On, your
grandfather; well, whatever your grand
father tells you is true And they didn't
have the preaching when he was Il boy they
used to have when his grandfather was boy,
too. Time was when the good old preacher
climbed up two flights Of stairs into Il pulpit
nineteen feet high, read the whole book OF
Jeremiah-fitty two chapters-for the morn
ing lesson, sang the one hundred and nine
teenth psalm clear through, aud then
preached and expounded the doctrines and
pounded the Bible and gsur the stuffing fly
DOT o the cushion until 4 O'Clock in the after
noon, when he stopped to catch his breath
and began again at sunset and preached until
some time Monday morning No, indeed,
my boy, we don't begin To have the preach
ing they used to have.
When the census marshal reached the farm
house Of Macameron Oberheister in Conestoga
county, Pa, the wary farmer met him at the
door with a shotgun, and when the marshal
asked his name one of the boys went out TO
the barn and united three dogs They chased
the marshal clear across the township, when
some neighbors headed him OFF, and then they
put him in Jail to hold him for trial You
see," said Farmer Oberheister "we're onto
those sharDers: they think we're fools be-