davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1887-01-01
Mr.. and Mrs. Bowser.

Detroit Free Press.
One thing about Mr.. Bowser is his
lofty conceit about matters in general
and over me in particular. He goes
about talking of his house, his furni-
ture, his taste, and all that, just as if
he had never heard of me. The other
week, when the cook walked off at
half an hours notice, and Bowser
came home to find dinner half an
hour late, he crossed his hands under
his majestic coat tails, walked up and
down like some great lord, and
finally said:
Mrs. Bowser, it's the fault of your
management! / know that this
kitchen can be run on the same
system as a bank, and it's got to be
done! Yes, got to be done, Mrs.
Bowser."
"You'd better run it them" / re-
piled.
$50 l will, madam"
That day he advertised in the
papers, and after supper the girls
began arriving Mr.. Bowser seated
himself in statSen the parlor, and 1
showed them in. His manner and
speech were about the same in each
case.
"Young woman" he began, 'are
you naturally neat, systematic, ac'
curate, honest, capable, willing, in
dustrious and handy?"
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1887-01-01
1901 THE CULTIvATOR 1OOr
lOOl AND lOOt
@spAentan,-<
THE BEST OF THE
AGRICULTURAL WEEXLiES.

The Country Gentleman is the leading
journal of American Agriculture. In the
amount and value of contents in extent and
ability of correspondence in quality of pa.
per and style of publication, it occupies the
first rank. 1t is believed to have no superi.
or in either of the three chief divisions of
Farm Crops and Processes
Horticulture and Fruit Growing.
Live Stock and DairyIng.
while it also includes all minor departments
OF rural interest, such as the Poultry Yard,
Entomonogy, Bookkeeping, Greenhouse and
Grapery, Veterinary Replies, Farm Cues
tions and Answers, Fireside Reading, Do
nestle Economy, and summary of the
News of the Week. Its market reports are
unusually complete, and much attention is
paid to the prospects of the crops, as throw.
ing light upon the most important of all
questions, When to buy and when to sell. 1t
is literally illustrated, and is intended to
supply, in continually increasing degree,
and in the best sense of the term,
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1887-01-01
eyes, SIR"
"Can you give bonds in the sum of
&hOOOoD

"Can you give bonds in the sum of
$5OOO?"
"No, SIR"
"Then / don't want YOU"
He was home all next day, during
which time about twenty girls called
and were sent away. He finally got
tired of the bond question, and accept
ed a girl and CHANGED her integrity.
Before proceeding to show her the
kitchen, Mr.. Bowser loftily observed:
"Young woman, your path of duty
will lead you all over my house, and
you will be expected to do your work
in cheerful manner and to my
satisfaction. I want perfect system
in everything, from peeling potatoes
to using up exactly three pounds of
butter per week. We will now make
an examination of the quarters you
are to occupy.
He escorted her to the kitchen and
showed her an egg beater, bar of
soap, horse radish crater and a
celery dish, and informed her that he
would, perhaps, furnish her with a
tack hammer in case she wanted to
throw herself on some new French
dish. He charged her to be up at
exactly six o'clock in the morning,
and ring the bell at exactly seven, and
to have the table cleared offby eight,
and then came in and said to me:
"Mrs. Bowser, this house is to be
run on system after this. You won't
know the place by to-morrownight."
"Do you think the girl will stay?"
l ventured to ask.
"Stay! l tell you, the whole trouble
about this servant girl question lies in
the fact that you women are no
managers. That girl will remain
here twenty years, unless sooner dis
charged"
"Did she seem pleased?'
"Pleased? Well, should smile! A
girl knows when she has competent
boss" I'D
Next morning at quarter to s Mr..
Bowser suddenly awoke and jumped
out of bed. That bell, which was to
be rung at o'clock, had not aroused
us. We hurried out to the dining
room, but the table had not yet been
set. We entered the kitchen, but
there was no fire.
"Mr. Bowser," said !, "yoursystem
seems to be out of gear"
He made no reply, but hurried up
stairs, and / heard the following con-
versation:
Bowser-"Jane! Janew
Girl-"What is ito"
"Do you know what time it ISL"
eyes"
"And why amt you down stairs"'
81 never get down until s."
"But didn't tell you to get up at
60"
"Odds is the difference if you did.
l don't take orders from an old hen
hussy"
He marched her off as soon as she
came down, and, because he saw a
: grin ON my face, he exclaimed:
"Don't think Pm beat, Mrs. Bows
er! I'll cook breakfast myself"
He broke some eggs into cold
: spider without using any butter, and
they burned fast. He put his coffee
to steep in cold water, and settled il
with some of the fried egg. He put
the butter on in fish platter, broiled
the mackerel without soaking, and
his Saratoga chips and pancakes got
l mixed up in some strange way. He
s went off without saying anything
r and that afternoon / hired girl and
S had good supper awaiting him.
"Mrs. Bowser," he said, as he lean
r ed back in his chair and slipped hi:
tea, 81 told you it was all in thu
management! If it wasn't for mt
where would this house have been to
night? Learn firmness and manage
ment from me Mrs. Bowser!"
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1887-01-01

I1FilI NM IItI'lt -It.TITla.I
We want smart i,i.n rul women to travel for
us and take orders for cur Silv"rware. To those
who are competent We lray $50 per Month
ma Expenses, or allow a liberal Commission.
Our "NictoriI" Cis';et Of 81 Pieces Extra Heavy
silver Plated Table Cutlery IL selling like wildre.
aud we want 5JJ good saleSmen in all sections OF
The country Mt once. Wo will increase salary of
GOOD statesmen to SIS tho Srd and 800 the
6ih fgoui "a Trey are with us, il they prove pro-
CG.e,'t Gr;lc 70 once for flll particulars.
-lGgesG: Sailinsforsi silver Co.,
WaiiSEgIord, Conn.
- 7'-'ea state in what paper you snw this adj
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
the LANoTRY KISS.
An Irreyerent Editors Description OF a
Zine Osculatory Specimen.

An Irreyerent Editors Description OF a
Zine Osculatory Specimen.
Mrs. Langtry has invented kiss that,
according TO the Chicago Mail, double dis
counts any thing OF the kind ever attempt
ed by Emma Abbott As Lady Clancarty
her husband escapes from his pursuers
through an open window into her room.
She stands with her back to the audience
clear down the stage, near the foothghts.
The husband looks at her moment and
then rushes wildly into her arms. Then
both swing around aad expose their pro
files to the audience. Then they hold
each other at arms length. Then her
bosom heaves and he pants. Then
her head falls upon his breast reclin-
ing backward There is crimson blush
suffusing her charming face. Then
he looks down at hcs, and she looks up at
him. Then there is a pcrceptible pressure
around the waist. Thea lie suddenly
places his lips to hers. Then she clasps
him around the head. Then there is u
soft, gurging sound, as OF water escap-
ing from kitchen sink Then they are,
as it were, glued together Then all is
still Women in the audience become
nervous. Bald headed men are paralyzod.
Men around town have their watches out
timing them. One second, two, thrce,
four, five, six, s,vcn-and then there is an
explosion. as If the bung had blown out
Of beer barrel. Ii il all over. That Is
the bangtry kiss.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

The treatment of many thousands of cases
of those chronic weaknesses and distressing
ailments peculiar to females, at the Invalids'
Hotel and Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N. Y,
has afforded a vast experience in nicely
adapting and thoroughly testing remedies
for the cure of wOman's peculiar malades.
DIR. Pierce's FavOrite Prescription
is the outgrOwth, or result, of this great
and valuable experience. Thousands of
testimonials, received from patients and
from physicians who have tested it in the
more aggravated and Obstinate cases which
had baffied their skill, prove it to be the
most wonderful remedy ever devised for
the relief and cure of suffering women. IL
is not recommended as a " cure-all." but
as a most perfect Specific for woman's
peculiar ailments.
AS a powerful, invigorating tonic,
il imparts strength to the whole system,
and to the uterus, or womb and its ap-
pendages, in particular. For overworked,
s'worn-out, rundown" debilitated teach
ers, milliners. dressmakers, seamstresses,
"shop-girls," housekeepers, nursing moth
ers, and feeble women generally, DIR.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the great
est earthly boon, being unequalled as an
nopetizing cordial and restorative tonic. 1t
r-omotes digestion and assimilation of food,
Address. WORLDS DISP
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
MONEY INVESTMENTS.
The Way to Enjoy Your Possessions b
Throwing Into Them a TinSs of Hu
manity and Heaven.

The Way to Enjoy Your Possessions BY
Throwing Into Them n TinSe of Hu.
manity and Heaven.
On reading the account OF the great
Stewart auction sale of paintings, some
refieciiong arose, not of hostility to art, OF
disparaging TO the talent they exhibit; foi
the love of the beautiful, whether OF nat
ure or art, is inherent and every one, buI
fool, will pay deserving homage. II is
OF the comparative use of wealth, we
speak, and III, satisfaction and benefit 60.
rived therefrom. None of these rare
paintings, purchased at great cost, brought
any thing near their original valuation.
One reflection was, how brief and unsatis-
factory must have been the enjoyment o.
this great, departed merchant. In tho
ardor of successful business. which taxed
his time and strength, how little pleasure
or benefit could they afford him. lie
could only look upon one at time. They
could address HIM only through tho cys.
The moment that WIS with lrawl tao
sp Ill of their charm was broken. If they
followed him in memory, it WAS only as
the unsatisfactory pleasure of dream.
So soon came the I M Of that cnjoym ert's
imposes bility, compared with the labor
and expense of their possession, it was a
trifing reward. And when we compare
the investment OF so much wealth, WhCrc
care and risk make the possession more OF
burien than Joy, !; seems greatly
wanting Of that true wisdom which should
govern man in his brief life; and cs1c.
cially when compared with investments
made by other wealthy men.
George Peabody invested much wealth
In England for the benefit OF tho poor, and
in our own country for the education and
elevation Of the ignorant and lOwiy. Tho
profound satisfaction while nc livci. ia
witnessing thu benefits of his munficcnt
liberality, accomp lnied with the grateful
praises of this; he made happy, AMI by
royal honors richly serve |, has hcca
followed since his death by blessings
which multiply an | spread every sHcccH /.
ing year. There is no auction TO tell how
diminished is ths origina, sum of his gins,
nor chance for greed to ihwart the noble
pan he wisely, benevolcntlY lalda. II
Will stand fI- generations an imports la-
bic monument to his memory an honor
Other men of wealth have made invest
ments in hospit lis and institutiOn2 CT
learning, whore young men are Qua'if Il
10 go forth as teachers, ministers and El:&
sionaries, and the rich fruits of their lie
vestments are to BE- seen IN every nation
and cline on our globe. And while thoy
are benefiting the world by such outlay OF
their wealth, they are laying up tire isuro
II Heaven. 1t is an invest nent this
thieves can not steal, nor covetous buy Il,
deprecated value; and that pays well,
ana by insured interest more than ia.
world can give, in the highest stccx- boom
ever known. Let men Of weaI:. wisel ?
consider their investm ,nts. T5sze is ~
future probotsa fec rers ~ acz, or to rec
.ity zstAl@A-S 4 f. : t~grgatioaaI.
Is
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
Happy Homes.

Much has been written and said about
how to make home happy. The moral st
ana the preacher have hackheyed this
theme until it would seem nothing more re-
maine to Be said. But the philosophers
have gone far GU; of their way to account
for the prevalence of ill-assOrtcd couples
and unhappy homes, and have overlooked
the chief cause. Most IF the unhappiness
of married life can be traced directly TO
those functional arrangements to which
women are subject. In nine cases out OF
ten the irritable, dissatisfied and unhappy
wife is a sufferer from some "fcmale com
p!a MT" a trial of DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription Will produce more domestic
happiness than million sermons or philo-
sophical treatIses. 1t cures all those pc
culiar weaknesses aud ailments incident 10
women. 1t is the only medicine sold by
druggists, unier positive guarantee from
the manufacturers, that it will give salts
faction in every case, or money Will be re-
funded. See guarantee printed on wrapper
enclosing bottle.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
A NeM.nancr Antinnaran.

Nearly every one in New York has
heard or 'Bac'S Nun cr'' Budd, who puts
away every day 80 copies of each New
York newspaper t. soil them to custom
ers years hence at , 0 to 500 per cont.
profit. 1t is reported that he once re-
ceivei $50 for u single newspaper Re-
Gently H. was chic upon by some Kan
sas men, among whom was Senator
ingalls,, who asked his assistance in pro-
curing a complete file Of the Leavenworta
Journal for the two years that it was I'M
der the mauag .mcnt of John Henderson,
during the az .tatIon that resulted in the
Lecompton constitutional convention and
the establishing of Kansas as free State.
The file was desire for the Kansas His
torical Spciey, All tlcT wer1 willing to
pay SIC, g0J for it
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
| JEALOUS
| DOGToRS.


cures nausea, weakness of stomach, indi-
gestion, blOating and quotations of gas.
AS a soothing and STRENGTHENING
neryine," Favorite Prescription " is un-
equalled and is invaluable in allaying and
subduing nervous excitahility, irritability,
exhaustion, prostration, hysteria, spasms
and other distressing, nervous symptoms
commonly attendant upon functional and
organic disease of the womb. 1t induces
refreshing sleep and relieves mental anx-
iety and dependency.
Dir. Pierce's FaYOrife Prescription
IL a legitimate medicine, carefully
compounded by an experienced and skillful
physician, and adapted to woman's delicate
organization. 1t is purely vegetable in its
composition and perfectly harmless in its
effects in any condition of the system.
"FayOrite Prescription is n posi-
tive cure for the most complicated and
obstinate cases of leucorrhea, or whites"
excessive flowing at monthly periods, pain
ful menstruation, unnatural suppressions,
prolapsus or falling of the womb, weak
back, female weakness" anteversion, re-
troversion, bearing-down sensations, chron-
ic congestion. Inflammation and liberation
OF the womb, Inflammation, pain and ten
derness in ovaries, accompanies with sin
ternal heat"
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

I'm pregnancy, "Favorite Prescription"
is mothers cordial" relieving nausea,
weakness of stomach and other distressing
symptoms common to that condition. II
its use is kept up in the latter months OF
CESSATION, it so prepares the system for de-
livery as to greatly lessen, and many times
almost entirely do away with the sufferings
of that trying ordeal.
"FavOrite Prescriptions when taken
in connection with the usc Of DIR. Pierces
Golden Medical Discovery. and small laxa-
tive doses of DIR. Piercc's Purgative Pellets
little Liver Pills. cures Liver, Kidney and
Bladder diseases. Their combined use also
removes blood taints, and Iabolishes can
cerous and scrofulous humors from the
system.
"Favorite Prescription Is the only
medicine for women sold. by druggists,
under a positive guarantee, from the
manufacturers, that it will give satisfac-
ton in every case, or money viii be re-
funded. This guarantee has been printed
on the bottle-wrapper, and faithfully car
ried out for many years. Large bottles
600 doses S1.0O, or six bottles for
az Send ten cents in stamps for Or.
Pierce's large, illustrated Treatise Q6
pages) on Diseases of Women.
}. 66a Main street, BUFFALO. N, x,
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

FooD makes Blood and Blood makes
Beauty. Improper digestion of food neces-
sarily produces bad blood, resulting. in
feeling of fullness in the stomach, acidity,
heartburn, sick-headache, and other dys-
peptic symptoms. A closely confined life
causes indigestion, constipation, bilious
ness and loss of appetite. 1oremove these
troubles there is no remedy equal to Prick
ly Ash Bitters. 1t has been tried and
proven to &c q specific.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

have found that their sometimes excessive
duties produce low, weak, tired and trem-
ulous state of the system, and that iron re
stores richness and color to the blood, cali
saya bark a natural healthful tone to the
d gestive organs, and phosphorus mildly
stimulates the brain,-all combined in DIR.
Harter's Iron Tonic.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
MAN wants but little here below,
But WnntS that little Strnnp

This is especially true Of purge. The
average man or woman does not precisely
banker for it, as rule, but when taken,
wishes it TO be prompt, sure and effective.
DR.. Pierco's Pleasant Purgative Pellets
leave nothing to be desired in point of Ell
cacy, and yet their action is totally free
from any unpleasant symptoms, or dis
agreeable after effects. Purely vegetable,
perfectly harmless.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

WHEN an intended passenger Asks a
ships purscr how many berths he las II
does not imply that he is census taxcr.
The hatchways of ship are not mems
nests, nor is the buoy the captains son.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

Irs thousands of cures are the best adver-
Iisement for DIR. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

TEE best cough medicine is Piso's Cure
for Consumption. Sold everywhere. Zoe.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

ADAM had spare rib with apple sauce.
-Boston Post.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

WHY is chicken pie like a gunsmith's
shopi Because it contains fowlln-pleces'
-Nelr Age.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

GIENN's Sulphur Soap presents all the Id
vantages of Sulphur Baths at cheap rate.
HilTs Hair & whisker Dye, Black or Brown, 6oc.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

II afflicted with Sore Eyes use DIR; Isaac
Thompson's EyeWatcr. Druggists sell III 10
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

WE don't like to see ladies with very
small feet Ladies should not stand upon
II. hes.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

TIE proof-reader;s wife was the girl
who first ran type righter.-BostO" Conn
,nsrciaL Bulletin
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

WHEN two fat people run against each
other IL can properly be spoken OF as
mass-meetng.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

A GOOD salesman is like bad coins
perfect counter tit
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

THE barber's favorito city-loQua-city.-
Columbus Dispatch.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

ALL the difference in the world-that be.
tween tine north and south pole.-LUs
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

FnFE BY return mail. Full Description
H% MOody's New Tailor system of Dress
u 81 I'm Ea Cutting. MOODY Il CO., CINCINNATI o.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

they imagine dyspepsia another from heart disease
postraon another with pain here there and in
Indifferent distinct
SUCH when reality they all only symptoms caused by some
bills The
complications medicine,
misery.
Iruouc Marvellous Cure-Mrs G: F. sPGAG CUE
| r female weakness, leucorThea and falling of the
tincTnRc womb for had TO keep my bed
for good part Of the time doeSre d with an
Of money but received no LASTING benefit At last my husband
because preudced against them and the doctors said
he would get me some of your medicines would try
against the advice Of physician He got six bottles OF the
dollars three bottles of Discovery and four of
Favorte Prescription sound for four
then the balance of the medicine sister who
troubled in the and she cured herself in short
time have not had to take medicine now for almost
four years.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
E3 PHYSICIANS
| FAILED.

Alone began taking Dr. Perees Fayorte Presentation and
recommended his Common
Medical Adviser commenced to improve at once In three
letter to family briefly mentioning how my
to writing me for them and enclosing sampea-sI
In reply have described and the treatment used
received second letters of thanks stating that they
mad commenced the use OF frescrPon mao set the
local fully plainly laid therein
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
\ 500
| THROWN Away.
| The GREATEST
/ EARTHLY Boon.


The 'Favorite Prescripti
poor suffering women.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

Mrs. f. F. MORGAN, of No. II Lexington St.,
East Boston, Mass, says: Five years ago l
was dreadful sufferer from uterine troubles.
Having exhausted the skill of three ply
sicians. was completely discouraged, and SO
weak 7 cOuId with difficulty cross the room
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02
MeEA MONTH es ae ! Boz nrs

n Ps TO "a A DAY Samples worth 81 so
AEh FREE. Lines not underline horses feet. Will
VIZ BREWSTER SAFETY REiN HOLDER CO., holy, H!es
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1887-06-02

CFuc.0MC for soldiers and widows of tht
PfHNlIkNA Mexican War and Rebellion. AL
ssSsSNS kinds of Government Claims Cob
Iected. Circular of laws sent free. FITzGEHALD !
POWELL u. 5. Claim Collectors, indianapolis. Ind
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-07-27
SPLINTERS.

Wanted The vehicle in
which people are driven to des-
peration.
Alter rations-The viands pro
vided for wedding supper
Papa is sometimes asked to
contribute to his daughters hap
piness and won t give assent.
A good name and bad char
acter are not common bed-fel-
lows
When a woman's hair has be-
gun to turn gray isn'tshe about
old enough to have sense to dis
card bangs.
In railway circles nowadays
there doesn't appear TO be much
that is Of interest if there isn't a
great deal"
A corpulent tourist seldom
makes the ascent of a mountain
on foot. The climb-it doesn't
agree with him.
A bachelors reverie -"What
is there more variable than
tickle woman's mind? All, me;
nothing, ] imagine. No! Not
even New England weather"
One would suppose that the
wearing of an immense broad
brimmed hat would obviate the
necessity of carryinga sunshade.
But it doesn' t If the shade is
an elegant and costly one.
Why, no, my lad! Bless your
little innocent soul, Lawn tennis
tumbled into disfavor because
of the racket the players arise.