The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-24
HEAPS OF TROUBLE.
Someryille Journal.

The lf0u nle WlLn Soon liEti! HcNs- papers is that they have nonpareil editor to fill the minion columns.
 The trouble with a good many men is that they spend SO much time ad- miring their own ability that they don't let other people have q chance to see that they have any ability to admire.
 The trouble with a great many wO- men is that they can't find some par ticular selected man who will appre- ciate them as they feel in their palpitating hearts that every woman should be appreciated.
 The trouble with good many girls is that they don't find out what they want until some time after the sad conclusion is forced upon them that what they want doesn't want them.
 The trouble with good many boys is they think the red grapes that grow on neighbours vine, and that have to be picked after dark, are good deal sweeter and better than the ripe black grapes that grow on their own vines. and can be gathered in the bright sunlight of publicity.
 The trouble with a great many ed- itors is that they don't think one- half as much as thoS write.
 The trouble with great many readers is that they don't understand how much easier it is to point out q tree i'll magnificent landscape that is a hairs breath out of perspective than it is to paint the magnificent landscape itself
 The trouble with good many Vas sar graduates is that they know more about expeditions ways of getting from the second story down to the lower hall than they do about making Christian bread.
 The trouble with almost all the ministers is that they don't hear other ministers preach often enough to know what a really first-class, bang up sermon is.
 The trouble with most of the horse car conductors is that they haven't eyes enough ill the back of their heads to satisfy the public.
 The trouble with a good many of the school teachers is that the present school year is divided wrong instead ot being forty weeks school and twelve weeks vacation. they think it should be forty weeks vacation and twelve weeks school.
 The trouble with two-thirds of the boys and girls in the public schools is that they don't have fifty three weeks vacation every year, with an addi- tional week in leap years.
 The trouble with most of the peo- pie in this misguided world is that they waste so much time in thinking of their own virtues and enterprises that they don't have leisure to see how laudable and usefnl.-your little schemes are.
 The trouble with the young man in love is that he is insane enough to think that all the other young men are making just as big fools of them selves about his best girl as he is.
 The trouble with the young woman in love is that she doesn't know whether she really loves the young man for himself alone or for the cara mels he brings and the prospect of solitaire diamond to dazzle tine other girls.
 The trouble with the small boy is that his big sister never was a small boy herself and so she doesn't know how the small boy feels.
 The trouble with the small girl is that slse isn't bigger.
 The trouble with the big girl is that every pair of scales she steps on gives her weigh.
 The trouble with the compositor is that most learned men haven't added the art of writing to all the accom- plishments that have made them famous.
 The trouble with those learned men is that those darned compositors never learned to read.
 The trouble with the proof reader is that both the learned men and the darned competitors expect him to know everything that both of them never knew or have forgotten.
 The trouble with the purist in grammar is that people will persist in thinking that things themselves are more important than how you say them
 The trouble with lots of cats is that they don't get enough dreamless sleep these August nights.
 The trouble with milliners is that the women folks don't get so enthusi- astic over their bills as they do over their bonnets.
 The trouble with the office boy is very often that he has got an assist ant.
 The trouble with Julius Cesar is that he is dead.