Morning journal and courier., 1887-11-07
Entertaining at Country Homes.


 There are thousands of country-yet in one way y-ike-homes in the suburbs of our large cities to-day where twenty years ago they might have been numbered by tens. Nor is this only the natural effect from the cause of an ever increasing population We are realizing that we want more pleasant daily living; that such sweet, simple home life as that of England is possible to a cer tain extent even amidst the rush and push and crush of American business We are tired of seeing each face which passes us in the crowded streets more keen, more anx- ious, more sharp, more unrestful than the last. And we are seeing the possibility of much comfort and enjoyment without untold riches; we are realizing more and more that immense fortunes are not the only end of man, and so are taking time to find out what can be made pleasant on a comfortable in come and we gather our friends about us to be happy together. For certain it is that the pleasure of entertaining is one of the greatest in life.
 It is admitted of course that for any standard or degree of living it takes an in come from four to five times as large in the United States as in England, but our eoun- try is too large, to young to have developed all it's resources as they have done to each little inch of space there; and we must wait many years for this thing to balance itself. Meantime we are philosophical enough to 'tkiss each joy as it flies"
 The first thing one realizes on being invi- ted to an Englishman's house is that one is invited to come at certain time and stay until certain time. There is no indefinite invitation: ''Come and make us visit whenever you can, ," leaving one with half certainty that one would be welcome, and a 1,aS lAl rEoS 1lN whenever one could, as to whether ones vis- it would not be very ill-timed. No; one starts with definite fact, and consequently with something to lay hold of and be at ease about-a knowledge that one is wanted at such time and for SO long.
 An Englishman hastily, and correctly from habit, reviews his engagements, both of business and social nature, and replies at once, thus in his turn giving his host that certain ease of knowing. 'EI shall be happy to come to you on the day you state, and can arrange to remain until the -" He then states the train he will take, or perhaps his host has suggested train; or if it is too far ahead to state positively he adds: ''I will inform you by post or telegram day or two before of the hour of my arrival" The host is then ready, his plans are formed, the guest is sure of his welcome and the visit starts off with a pleasant ease. If he cannot go he declines as promptly and as definitely. But
 
 tion what is his courses Very apt is he to think: "That's pleasure I'm too busy to write today. Anyway I must have a few days to think it over," and the invitation is pushed aside for more convenient season. Meantime the hosts are uncomfortable and wondering "Hhy So and-so does not write"- eff So-and-so received our letter"-s'if we only knew that So-and~so could, not come we would invite someone else" At last our American writes. Does he either decline or accept? Americans are a positive race about business-but where social life is con cerned it is only the women who are at all punctilious. No, he says: Gould not re- ply to your letter at once, and even now am not certain if we can accept it; will let you know in few days" or worse still: Don't believe we can arrange to come to you on the 18th. How would the 25th suit you2" Fancy the embarrassment of the host, who has asked someone else for that date! Or again, and to our shame be it said this is of ten done: Cannot come when you say, but think can arrange it later. Will let you know"
 Oh, the thoughtless assurance of such reply passeth belief, but the people who make it are often in other things the most unassuming persons. Of course it is only due to thoughtlessness and the habit of the land to regard social duties as secondary and unimportant. Many an American hostess has had her lunch table stand half the after noon and her dinner wait an hour for the ar- rival of guest who agreed to come, but for got to state the hour. After all in life it is the little things which constantly rub against the grain, and the hosts who are put out and inconvenienced by uncertainty can never be so glad to see the guest who causes such an noyances as he who says when he will come and comes when he says.
 As deduction the first law of hospitality should be that old rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yOu.0 And Americans should learn to be more positive and exact about these little things. Be sure to accept or decline an invitation to house visit as promptly and positively one to dinner, and do exactly you agree about the time of arrival, no matter if it should at the time prove little more convenient to go l an hour or two earlier or later.