The Portland daily press., 1887-03-17
WIT AND WISDOM.


fellow was reading away with vim. The teacher
was listening with admiration, but presently
was startled when she heard:
And he garnished his teeth with rags
rrMhat's that? What did you say?" she asked.
ncity sentence was repeated with childlike sim
t an4gllnE when she saw how her pupil had dis
HE CRASHED his teeth with rage"
DR.. d. Rawls, of .Connorsville, Ind, pronounees
DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup an infallible remedy.
Use Salvation Oil for severe headache. and Won
will always find almost instant relief by so doing
We recommend 1t as good family medicine.
prisoner" said the Judge. "wbat have Won IN
say to this Indictment; are you guilty or not
Before answer the question iudoe I'd like
tS ASK your honor this little spectacesd a' dude IS
all the lawyer I've got?"
,n That Is Mr.. Ferguson, SIR. responded the
seem TO have no counsel"
..t,yO said the prisoner, signing heavily,
GIVE EIy's Cream Balm a trial. This
Justly celebrated remedy for the cure of catarrh
nay fever, cold in the head, &c., can be obtained
OF any reputable druggist and may be relied upon
as safe and pleasant remedy for the above com
plants and VIII give immediate relief. 1t is not
liquid, snuff or powder, has no offensive odor
and can be used at any time with good results, as
thousands can testify, among them some of the
attaches of this office Spirit Of NE Times, nay
90 1885,
resident of the Provinces had come to pass a
few days with some relatives In Paris. Becoming
patience on the part OF his hosts ceased to be a
virtue. Too polite TO openly remorstrate, they
threw ont a hint:
Don't you think my dear fellow that your
wife and children must miss you?"
mo doubt Thanks for the suggestion. I'll
send for them"
With every advance of emigration iuto the far
West, new demand Is created for Hostetters
stomach Bitters. Newly peopled regions are fire.
Quently less salubrous than older settled local-
ties, on account of the miasma which rises from
recently cleared land, particularly along the
banks Of rivers that are subject to freshets The
agricultural or mining emigrant soon learns, when
he does not already k.Jw, that the Bitters afford
the only sure protection against malaria, and
those disorders Of the stomach liver and bowels,
TO which climate changes, exposure, and unae-
eustomed or unhealthy water or diet subject him.
consequently, be places an estimate upon this
great h0usehold specliic and preventive common
surats with It's Intrinsic merits and Is careful TO
keep on hand restorative aud promoter of
health SO implicitly to be relied upon in time Of
need.
A Sunday school teacher began this questioning
AZ tne END OF the old year with the query, 'Are
you better than you were last year?"
"A good many Of the little fellows had replied,
eyes, sr;" but croupy boy on the back seat
had the courage OF his convictions.
Il nalnt no better nor ever wuz," he saidi
but (" he added, by way OF softening the harsh
statement Il got e sorest froat Of anybody in this
class-I-I I-most got dipferia"
Hls.nnamed larynX might not have been a
means OF grace, but his honesty certainly was.
I'M A
lin in a case OF Acute Dyspepsia, and lit acted
like charm"
Soldby all druggists, sl.0o per bottle, or W. f.
Kidder s. Co., Manufacturing Chemists, SO John
ST., N. Y.
In the Court of Assizes. Prisoner, you have
been accused OF numbering your Wife What have
you TO say?"
your honor, my life with her had become ill.,
supportable.r
'Buty YOU could have asked for separation or
divorce"
impossible. had sworn never to leave her
until death parted u.s."