The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-05-29
MATTERS AND THINGS.

Prof. David Swing boldly asserts his convic-
tion that baseball is 'the greatest outdoor game
in the world" This appears like wild pitch
for ministerial gentleman, but perhaps he has
. son-inlaw who is captain OF a nine.
Who will undertake to decide when art critics
disagreed The London Spectator pronounces
that much-talked-of picture. Christ Before Pi-
late" notorious Munkacsy," and characterizes
the gentleman who bought 1t as a wild Ameri"
cam"
1t is to be hoped that future students of EN-
glish pure and undefled' will not have Howelis's
novels for text books. Dir. Howells has weak
ness for free ard easy expression which is to be
deprecated. In recent editorial in Harper's
Monthly he uses the slang phrase caught on"
enough to make the Atlantic Monthly's hair
stand on END for year, and in April Hopes"
a story running through the same magazine. al
| lows of his characters, young man of re-
spectacle con nectiops to describe two ladies who
| had invited hi m to pleasure-trip with them.
having ''snagged onto" him. Slang is barely to
| be tolerated in newspaper writers. and the novel
| writer should be scrupulously above INDUCING
| in it.
The system of announcing theatrical status
| by means of advertisements is an ingenious
| one, and entities its progenitor to the grateful
thanks of all who sh rink from the possibility
| of forming their own opinions in such matters.
| We read, for instance that Mrs. James Brown
| Potter has had & cigarette named Tor her ana
| that hundred thousand of her photographs
have been shipped to England to advertise
| Recamier cream balm, and we feel no hest
fancy in declaring her TO be on the highway to
| fame Now, when we learn that the Pears
soap man has solicited her autograph and por-
trait for the back of the Century Magazine,
along o. Beecher's. Langtrys and Mary Ander-
sons may boldly decide that she is the
greatest actress on the American stage
It is all right and proper for Victoria to love
| md rheris tha of bar hus band I'M
she need not bleed the country to do it. and
| ought to be ashamed of herself to contemplate
devoting the penny collections OF her jubilee to
| the erection OF q monument to Albert England
| is overrun with monuments to Albert now. the
| Albert Memorial in Hyde Park alone is enough
| for any man, be he prince peasant Such
| usage of the money of the English people savors
| of heathendom. and such monument would
| strongly suggest the TAI Mahal," that marvel
| lousy beautiful tomb wrung by the tyranny of
| the Shah Jehan from the poor earnings of the
| lower classes Hindostan. If Victoria wishes to
erect a monument as Is monument she Will
| apply the penny collections. in the name of
Albert to the alienation of the condition of her
| poor subjects in unhappy Ireland.
1t is we'll worth our while to have entertained
Queen Kapioana and her royal sister, Princess
Lili-etcetera, if only to have learned from them
| the true homo and birthplace of that much
abused garment, the mother Hubbard. In spite
of its English name, it is the native dress of the
|
| language, is known as Halakai. 1t is easily un-
derstandable how the warm, not to say hot.
| climate and tempestuous disposition OF these
far-off isles of the sea should have evolved this
| loose and flowing robe 1t is well adapted
to the free circulation of air. and could be quick
| ly donned in of volcanic eruption necessi-
| tating speedy hight-a sort of eme rgency gar
ment as it were. Kapiolani's full dress parade
| Mother Hubbard is of white satin. embroidered
with gold; but when she is at home on her own
| back porch IN Hawaii she probably lounges In
| Scent Calico like United States folks.
If the street-car company insist upon having
the drivers call the streets the travelling public
should insist upon interpreters being present
| that the relations between driver and public be
| nteligbly harmonious and friendly. The truth
is, the drivers opposed TO calling the streets
| and humble the names Intentionally. passen-
ger recently asked driver why he didn't call
| moro distinctly, and he replied with droll
twinkle in his eye, that he didn't aim to strain
himself the first day" At this point in the con-
| versation a stranger boarded the and asked
the driver to let him off at the first barber
| shop The man of the whip turned to his mules
with the ejaculation, Great goodness! Got to
| call barber-shops, tool" BY the way the latter
| suggestion is susceptible of pleasing elaboration.
| Why should not the driver call ont objects of in
terest along his line for the benefit of strangers.
| For example, he could sing out, Blind Asvlum,"
| "Banering's drug store" Hi h-schnol," Second
| Presbyterian Church. university Park, 'Bap-
fist Church" First Presbyterian Church. ''Old
home of Governor Morton" Then he could get
a good, long breath and begin again at the Pub
lie Library and Denison. ending with wild and
war-like whoop, Transfer car" Such verbal
advertising would benefit business, and the drl-
YER could study his ''lines" when not otherwise
engaged in making change. stopping for passen-
gers, opening switches, chasing small boys from
| the rear of thu car encouraging the mules, and
| gazing out side streets and back alleys for
reckoning public Why ontf
1t is scarcely reasonable to expect the forest
and the farm to come trundling up to ones front
door, but a wagon-load of ferns and jugs of but
termilk is pretty accurate representation of
this large rural constituency. Buttermilk 5
cents a half gallon jug; ferns, % cents baskes
| The fern man was a brawny, sun Drowned son
of the soil-Wals Whitman would have de-
lighted in him. Ferns and he
sold for a living. he said, but the butter
milk he just fetched In to accommodate
the neiehbors; real Jersey milk, every drop of
it, and just churned this morning had sold all
but two jugs, would sell one, and lowed he
Where did the ferns come from!' 'Ob, way
out in the woods" with generous sweep Of
the hand which was pleasantly suggestive of
getting indefinitely away from civilized vexa-
tions and wading knee deep in feathery fronds
under noble patriarchal forest trees. 1t
must be IT.. very pleasant ,,o way ito to
digging ferns and finding NOSES" well. yes,
but"-with a CLEAN of suspicion that 1 might
intend going into the business and create
comfortable competition, the fern-man added
'muskeeters is mighty plenty and pestferous
out there" The fern-man announced that
"they"-that unlimited and indefinite tribe of
Gods people-were boring for gas out his way,
and he hoped they wouldn't find it: and the
neighbors out that way all hoped that they
wouldn't too, why not7" "Oh. he owned his
little home, and didn't want to sell it, and gas
would inst make taxes come hgher-the neigh
bors all felt that way, too"-and the fern nan,
the old white horse. the shacky wagon loaded
with fern-baskets and huttermilk jugs. logged
on, leaving wondering what the maiden's-
hair fern thought of that fat. brown jug with
the corn-cob in its mouth, and whether she
liked the smell of buttermik
If there is man more than another who is
mentioned frequently by his neighbors it is the
man who does not attend to having the street
before his house daily sprinkled. 1t does not
matter whether he declines to pay a certain
amount per week to the streets sprinkler. or
whether he neglects the use OF the water works
on his own premises-the result is the same. He