davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

The Postmaster General states that
the failure of the Deficiency bill will
probably not in any way interfere
with the operations of his department,
except to delay the establishment of
the free delivery service in new places.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

DUKE HAGAN, the express agent at
Marshall, Tex, who is charged with
robbing his Office of money packages,
was recently tracked from Fort Bend
County to his former home near Car
thage, Pamela County, by detectives.
Sheriff Forsythe, of Pamela, with two
deputies, went to arrest Hagan. They
Tere met by two sisters of Hagan, both
stout buNom girls, one of whom caught
the Sheriff and held him, while the
Dther. with pistol, kept the two depu-
lies at bay until their brother could
escape and get far enough the start to
get into Louisiana to avoid being cap
tured.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

DURING performance of "Viola" at
New Brunswick, n. j., the other night,
Mrs. George Gillings swooned in the
audience, and, although promptly car
ried out and given medical attention,
died without speaking a word.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

The Prince of Wales has granted q
warrant for a new Masonic lodge to be
called the "Anglo-American." The
lodge is formed with a view of Afford
ing facilities for American residents IN
England meeting their brethren OF the
English Grand Lodge under the consti-
tutions of the latter body.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17
Husband Cat the end of the fir:

Husband Cat the end of the first
act)-"Shan't 1 go out and get you
some caramels, dear?'' Wife-"I
brought some with me-" Husband
why will you always MUNICH candy
between the acts?" When you get
through munching I'll come back
Neu0 HdUea Ne,CS.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

Angry Customer-"Say, see here.
Mr. Scales, l found a whole lot of sand
in tha: last barrel of sugar you sent
me-" Placid Grocer-''Did you, In
deed? Dear me- And what did you
expect to find? Gold quartz?-Sonler-
rifle Journal.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

1t is said that somnambulism Is on
the increase in this country among
married women. The only way 10
break 'em of it is to hide your wallet
outside your bedroom.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17
CURRENT COMMENT.

DR.. JUNKER, African explorer, has
returned to Munich in good health.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

And such druggist may sell Intoxicating
liquors for mechanical and scientific purposes
only upon the written or printed affidavit OF the
applicant, setting forth the particular purpose
for which such liquor is required the kind and
quantity desired that il is not intended to be
used as beverage, nor 10 sell, rOr TO give
away. and it is intended only for his own use,
and that the applicant is over twenty-ore years
of age; such affidavit shall be in the following
form:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17
State of Kansas, County of

| y DOuIIIy -. s..
l. the undersigned, do so,ennly swear that my
real name is -; that / reside at
County, State Of -. that - OF - is re-
Quired by mysolf to be used for -; that it is
not intended for beverage. ror to sell nor
to give away, and that am over twentv-one
years OF age Therefore make application to
- druggist, for said liquor.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

Subscribed in my presence and sworn TO be-
fore me- this - day OF -.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-03-17

Subscribed in my presence and sworn to be-
fore me, this - day Of.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
"Git Up, Squire

Elder Hopkins was the pastor of rural
congregation, and hardshell Baptist, who
hit straight from the shoulder, and gener-
ally succeeded in knocking out the sins of
the people. Two of his deacons were the
pillars Of the church, whom j shall call
Uncle Benny Jones and Squire Brown.
OF Squire Brown it may be said he pre-
tended to good deal Of piety that he did
not possess, while Uncle Ben was inclined
to bibulosity and often attended church
under the influence, owing to the fact
that the time elapsing between Saturday
night and Sunday morning was too short
to sober up.
One Sunday morning Elder Hopkins
concluded to wind up his sermon with a
pointed allusion to the besetting sins of his
two. deacons. In q solemnly impressive
voice he said:
s'There are certain sins to which desire
to refer particularly this blessed morning.
Take the sin of intemperance and drunken
ness, for instance. Rum has slain more
than war, famine and pestilence. Where.
is the drunkard ~
Gle Benny Jones assumed the perpendicu-
lar, somewhat curved after the style of an
interrogation point, and exclaimed;
Here am, (hic) old boss (hie) Here
am, (hic) 4 listenin to youv'
The sudden and unexpected response
brought down the house, but in no way
disconnected Elder Hopkins, who, after the
laughter had subsidized, proceeded
brethren, while I have animadverted
severely upon the sin of drunkenness, there
is a still greater sin and that is the sin of
hypocrisy. Where is the hypocrite p
No one responded, and Uncle Ben
reached over into the next pew where
Squire Brown sat, and gently shaking him
up, said in loud and earnest voice
"Git up. squire; (hic) git up. got up
when he called me p
The congregation dismissed itself with
out waiting for the benediction.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
what a Pronoun Did.

DIR. NJ. S. Terry, of the Methodist
Episcopal Church, delights to tell the story
of brother minister who used to be in the
Indiana Conference He was most esti-
mable ulaa, but be had an incurable habit
of adding prououn to the name of any
person OF whom he was speaking. In
stead of saying John Smith is a great
man, he would insist on saying "John
Smith he is great man.
Or Sunday he arose and announced his
text THE devil he goeth around like a
roaring lion, seeking whom he may de-
YOUR" Looking impressively over his
gold bowed spectacles, he began
Brethren and sisters my subject natur-
ally divides itself into three heads First,
Who the devil be is ~
The congregation was slightly startled
but preserved due decorum.
Secondly, my brethren, where the
devil he is going ?"
An old class leader put his head down
and stuffed bandanna in his mouth The
choir shook, and little girl Uttered.
Thirdly, my brethren, what the devil
he is about?'
This was too much for the congregation,
and for once there was peal of laughter
in that church. The quarterly conference
discussed the matter at its next meeting,
but the pastor still sprinkles his pronouns
promiscuously,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
Eunice's Twins.

"No, can't say that I've had prosper
GUS season" observed one of the passengers.
"Last spring me and my old woman
thought we'd keep summer boarders and
make some money. We have big house,
able to accommodate eighteen people besides
our own folks, SO we writ to our sons and
darters in the city, tcllin 'em what we had
decided on, an askin' EN- to say good
word for us to their friends. Well, we
fixed the old house up in fine shape and
waited for our boarders. Purity soon our OAR
ter Mary came down from town with her
three children, and said she had spoken to
all her friends about u.s. In about week
darer En- came with her four children.
She said the same thing, an though they
wasn't profitable boarders we hoped for
new kind, and felt much encouraged from
what they told us. The next arrival was
my wifes sister Sal and her two nearly
grown-up children. [ was a good deal dis,
couraged then, but my old woman braced
me up by sayin some payin boarders were
comm and we could 'commodate six more
anyway. The next arrival was my darter
Eunice with her husband and two children.
They all settled down as they lowed to stay
all summer an I was purity badly broken up
about it. l told my old woman things was
getting down to fine point an not much
left of the garden truck. She encouraged
me by sayin' we still had room for two
boarders, an we'd charge them enough to
run the whole house. Two days afterward
1 saw strange man stop and go in, an |
thought luck had turned at last, and killed
two chickens before l got to the house.
When did get there l discovered he was
my brother, Jim, who hadn't seen for
twelve years, come to spend the summer
with me. That settled me on the summer
boarder business, though the old woman
said we still had room for one boardcr, and
by making the hired man sleep in the barn
we could take in two, an that would clear.
the house. When | come in from work
the next night my darter En- met me on
the porch, and said smiingly, Father, says
she, we've got two new boarders. They
came this afternoon: Come up stairs and
see them. 'Wait till | dress up a bit, says
l. So washed, put on collar, and, feel
lag good deal encouraged, went up stairs.
There was all the girls aud my old woman.
pa, says she with tears in her eyes, the
house is full at last Eunice has got twins "
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
The Trade Dollar to Blame.


Cattleton, the grocer, knew that some
one was robbing his money drawer. Nat
urally his suspicious fell upon old Steve,
the negro porter. Steve protested mis- in
nocence Cattleton determined to search
him, so, one night about the time Steve was
ready to go home, the grocer approached
him and said:
"Steye, 1 must search you"
"What fur, boss?"
"You know what for. Come take off
your clothes and shake Them
Steve objected. Nothing was discovered.
The next day the grocer saw Steve hover
ing over the cash drawer.
That evening the grocer said: "Steve
you are thief"
"Who said so, sab y
II do"
"Who tole yer so ?"
'sNever mind, | know it. You have
been robbirg me for some time and"
"Wall; s'arch me, sah.''
keep on your clothes.
S'arch me ef yer want to, sah
"Never mind. Say, what's the matter
with your voice p
.V Vosuin
10, 'ucie % soiis''ins ope" you'
ii'o nW.
!. Ia nl'n', oPeu u lnuoi' p0sS' ''oi'ei5o'
uo ig'Ni!Am NJ
l 'p nun. ss,as Eau I5 ,'sslsn YOU lne
grocer I oe9' oIey ., mead over tne counter
ana pia ace ms tnnmo under tne negro ;
jaw ollver RATED on 'ne counter opt
Ous some me. more nor -. e..a..,.oun
So l oa =; iii IN ro -, G's a.
F;Ia n;o,,als fail from S,ovo,s month
CO. ~ niV ns.a;n is' i'O' '''0'' "Ou''
'Giar 80 @s goodness hos. Tt.;Dt sn;t no
mo-"
s.Go ahead I tell voup
A twenty-dve.cent piece fell out.
sonce moro > sa;d The GROCER ..Come
oo.;O - WIZ he addad &c ffty1een cont
niece niece. rolled on the counter s.vou're cot q
month like n sonirrel y
Nov boss DAT ALL Hone mer die
if it amt
: l.Trv inst one more time
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24


aWhy. that is the expression commonly
used by bows of fifteen when referring to
their father.
aVhas it2 Well, l lick Shake sefen
times for dot, und l yhas sorry. Was it
right if Shake hat some boxing-gloves IN
der parn2"
d don't see any particular harm in that
ayhell, MAYBE not, but | gif Shake two
lickings for dot. How yhas it II Shake
goes oudt eafery night und shtays until
elefen o'clock.
II believe that most American boys stay
out until midnight
..Vhas dot so? Well, lick Shake more
ash twenty times for dot, uud haf to beg
his pardon. Sergeant, vhas she all right if
Shake plays poker?"
aPoker is considesed very interesting
game. and 1 guess all the boys play it.
lsUnd when catch Shake | lick him
How dot poor boy suffers Sergeant, dere
vhas one more question. How vhas it if
Shake bets money on base ball and keeps
fighting dog?" :.
aThat's young America, Mr.. Dunder.'
aUnd all dis time vhas wrong and
Shake vhas right, und vhas an oldt fool?D
aAnd so Jake has gomez
9He goes AWAY last night | find him
nit game rooster in der parn, und gift
him good licking l vhas wrong und he
vhas right, und it preaks his heart und he
goes off, Sergeant2'
"Well?"
~ like Shake to come pack. If you see
him tell him so. Tell him I yhas sorry.
| | vhas willing he should pc like some odder
poys in dis country. He can call me oldt
mans und it shall pc alright. He can bet
on some games nnd doan' say word.
He can sing und 1 shall schmile. If he
shtays oudt all night nobody shall kick
Goodbye, Sergeant l vhas going UP NIT
der papers ind put in some advertisement
which shall read:
sPERsoNAL-If Shake Dunder Will re
turn to his distressed parents it Will pc all
right, und he shall pc boss und hat some
good times like he wants to-"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
Probably a True story.

From the Henderson, Ky., Journal
Henry Simpson, Of this city, has bGn
in the habit Of using dynamite for Che
purpose of blowing old tree stumps out Of
the ground. The other day he carelessly
left the dangerous compound lying by the
side Of a stamp. The dynamite was mixed
with sawdust and gave an exceedingly
pleasant odor, which attracted the atten
ton of two Of Simpsons hogs They
finished their inspection of the stuff BY
eating it, and then one of them, probably 10
aid and accelerate digestion, began rubbing
his sides againsta post at the entrance Of
a mules stall. The mule remained pas
sive for few moments, and then, as mules
will do, gave the hog tremendous kick in
the side. A terrible explosion followed
and when the smoke and dust had cleared
away the hog was only found in detach-
ments, while an enormous hole marked the
spot where he had stood. The mule, of
course, survived, or it wouldn't have been
a mule, but it was the most surprised mule
you ever saw The other hog escaped,
and IS now at large, greatly to the discom-
future of those in the habit Of staying away
from home at night
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
Must Not be Forgotten


The children must not be forgotten on
Christmas Eve. Many parents are thought
less about the little ones, and look upon
presents and festivities as childish things
that are better neglected than attended to-.
What ifthese attentions are childish? How
many of US cannot look back to early days
and still remember the disappointment
awaiting us, when, at early dawn on Christ
mas morning, we erept out Of bed and down
stairs to find the stockings empty and that
Santa Claus had not been at our home.
All the tears that fell and the choking SEN
sation that welled up in our threats then,
can never be forgotten. ANDY when we went
out and met our playmates and found that
Santa Claus had not forgotten them, it
seemed as if all the world were unkind, and
and that there was little to live for worth
the living.
Do not forget the children. Let it not
be said that Santa Claus has neglected one
of them. Let there not be-a single heart
mode unhappy through neglect on this
Christmas morning. The expense of max
ing them happy is small, and the reward
that will follow their lusty shouts when
they see their well-flled stockings will ever
repay the amount and the trouble. Our
first thought on Christmas morning should
be for the happiness of the little ones
christmas comes but once year,
And when 1t comes should bring good cheer"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
Carl Dunder's Boy Jake.

From the Detroit Free Press.
Sergeant you know my p9y Shaker
queried MIR. Dunder as he entered the
Woodbridge Street Station yesterday.
Il should say l didf' ioreibly replied
Sergeant Bendal is Jake dead?"
mo; he vhas ruined AWAY again.
-"You have lots Of trouble with Jake"
''Dot yhas SO, und 1 come down to see
you aboudt it. think it all oafer last
night, und maybe it vhas all my fault
pellet / vhas too strict NIT Shake. | like
to haf him more like poy in Shermany,
und | guess dot makes all der troubles.
Shake he ike to pc an American poy, -nnd
50 we doan get along all right. Sergeant,
/ like to ask you if It vhas all right for my
Shake to spheak of me as der oldt mans r.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
THE CHRISTMAS DINNER.
Some of the Famous Dishes in the
Olden Time.


A Christmas dinner in the olden time
vas very different affair from that of our
day. The dish which ruled tho roast on
every board in feudal times was the boar S
head. Borne on platter of gold and silver
and garnishde with bay, it was proudly car
ried while trumpets blew and Ministries sang
then merry strains, by the sewer into the
banqueting hall, followed by noble pro-
cession Of titled lords and ladies'
Mustard was an indispensable accompa-
niment to the dish. Says an old rhyme
Sweet rosemary and bays around 1t spread:
His foaming tcsks with some large pippin graced,
Or midst those thunoering spears an orange placed,
sauce 71l like himself offensive to his foes,
When Parliament, in the time of the
Commonwealth, undertook to put down the
Christmas celebration, the boar's head
ceased to decorate the Christmas table
With it, too, has gone out of fashion a-dish
then almost equally famous-that of roast
peacock. This was esteemed great deli
cacy, the flood for lovers and meat for
lords" and great care was taken in its prep
aration. The fowl was never picked, but
the skin stripped off with the plumage.
1t was thea stuffed with sweet herbs and
spice, basted with yolks OF egg and dressed.
When properly done and sufficiently cooled,
It vas tightly sewn up In Its own skin and
feathers, the whole body sometimes being
covered With gold leaf, and then piece OF
cotton saylng been placed In Its beak satu-
rated WITH spirits and ISnlted, 1t was sent
- .,1II Iii .iI1 ~
q0lreu considerable skill OH the part OF the
o,rv,a,. 70 handle II Tbraa Fat ,,a+l,ar, wa
eAuNei ~ hdnuiS 10 1hiee lau Meenels, VIC
are told were sometimes bruised to make
-..-.I, -. - 1871
10y ~ g. go isS;p oaSe /" a.
5say tbe 5;sb to The tohle and oysr i
In;,,ht a,,.a,,ss ,,sod 10 ,,o,v tIo ,,,ost dos
80 faats nf naI,ntrr ~ Tho n,;noa ,,;o
Pnor, a. 6,st e tho s5rod or Cbr; S S,I p,o'
= roha5 LII - iaost H. i III I'D
p r.; 4 vas ! mutton nie bnt # yos
not he lcso tco+bso,no On hat acoonnt 4
~ s1 80 - H., ia -, 49, bo;n,,.,. :.
" may JUS '''' NV '''e
TqoT t guard ,S;af the GhrIstm ass pie
Win his flesh hooks don't come nigh
From him IS S SS'e an ii alone sits here
Having his eyes sin in his ear
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

SLOW does it happen that there are SO
many old maids among the school teach
ers ?" asks an inquirer. Well, it is just
possible that girl who has taught school
is afraid to marry. She knows just what
sort of cubs most men were when they
were young Omaha Daily World.
elbow does it happen that there are SO
many old maids among the school teach
ers ?" asked reporter of teacher the
other day. Because school teachers, as a
rule, are women of sense; and no woman
will give up a $50 position for a s man, y
wasthereply CartersUile Ca Goraaf.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

By means of a mixture of pulverized mag
nesium, chloride of potash and sulphide Of
anthony, Messrs. Goedicke and Miethe
produce an explosive, lightning like illumi-
nation. which is likely to be of much value
in photographs. The fash lasts one-for-
itch of a second, and provides cheap and
practical method of securing instantaneous
pictures at night or in dark places.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

The pitcher had little ball. and it was
white as snow, and where the striker
thought it was that ball it wouldn't go.
1t had a sudden inshoot curve, it had a
fearful drop, and when the striker wildly
struck. that ball it didn't stop. "Why
does the ball fool strikers SO ?" the children
all did cry. aThe pitcher twirls the ball,
you know, the teacher did reply Detroit
Free Press.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

SHE CAUGHT What will
yes have dear, candy or ice cream
She-No, Edward, get mesome. popcorn
please.
He-Do you like that stuff
She-Yes; | like everything that pops.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24
HOW 10 WEAR THE RING.

Fashion has also determined the finger
on which the ring shall be worn. In the
time Of Elizabeth the wedding ring was
worn on the left thumb; in the time Of
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

Christmas is the only holiday Of the yeal
that brings the whole human family into
common communion. Dickens.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

It is not the expense of Christmas gift
that makes itprecious It is the heart aud
good feeling that goes with it-New
Orleans Picayaae.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

There are never too many flowers in this
world, and not one kind word too many has
ever yet been spoken.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24


Charles II it was placed on the forefnger,
and occasionally on the third finger, and by
the time when George came to the throne
the third finger was recognized as its proper
place. An English work on etiquette pub
lished in 1872 says it is for the bride to
choose on which finger the wedding ring
shall be placed ''The British Apollo, how
ever, decides the proper place of the ring
to be the fourth finger, not because it is
nearer the heart than the others, but be-
cause on it the ring is less liable to injury
The same authority prefers the left hand
to the right. The right hand is the en-
blem Of authority, the left of submission,
and the position of the ring on the left
hand Of the bride indicates her subsection
to her husband A curious exception to
the rule placing the ring on the left hand
is, however, seen in the usage of the Greek
Church, which puts the rings on the right
hand
SOME SUGGESTIONS.
In many districts Of Great Britain it is
believed that marriage is not binding
unless ring be used, and jewellers fire.
quently hire rings TO peasants, to be re-
turned after the ceremony; while in certain
parts of ireland there is belief that the
ring must be Of gold The writer says:
Blessing the ring gives it no small share
of sanclity, and old missals contain explicit
directions as to the manner in which this
ceremony must be carried out In the
church service as performed in the villages
of England the ring is frequently placed in
the missal, the practice being, no doubt, a
relic of the blessing once thought indispen-
sable. The German peasant women con.
tinue to wear the wedding ring of the first
husband even after a second marriage, and
recent book of German travels mentions
a peasant wearing at one time the wedding
rings Of four Glaze lamenteds"
1t is not strange that numerous super
stitions should cluster about the ring, many
of which are too we'll known to require rep
etition, and which, while not believed in
in this day and generation, are still 'thought
Of" when any accident befalls this symbol
of matgimony-the wedding ring.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-24

"Christmas comes but once year,
And when 1t comes should bring good cheer"