davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Catching Monkeys i'm India.

The natives have an ingenious way of
catching monkeys, SO simple that it may
with truth be said that the monkey
catches himself. A narrow mouthed jar
is filed with corn, and accidentally, of
course, left on the ground. The ever
watchful monkeys quickly take note Of
this, and no sooner is the owner of the
jar out of sight than they steal up to in
spect and discuss their windfal. Having
satisfied themselves that there is no trap,
one of them thrusts in his arm and
snatches a handful of corn. He then
finds that the mouth of the jar is too
narrow to let him withdraw his doubled
fist, but he never thinks of dropping the
corn, and out rushes the owner from be-
hind a tree and treacherously slips
moose around the victims neck.-India
Cor. London Field.
How We're Uneducated Men Educator
The articles appearing in several lead
ing monthlies on How was Educated, 8"
are all written by educated men. How
We're the uneducated men educated?
Among them were such men as Henry
Wilson, Andrew johnson, Abraham Lin
coin, Edward Hitchcock and hundreds of
others eminent in public life, whose
names are almost household words How
was Jay Gould educated? 1t would be a
paying investment for some magazine to
hire him to tell the story of his early
mental training. We recently read that
''when DR.. Hitchcock was president of
Amherst college he was asked from what
institution he graduated. He replied,
From my mothers dye tub Those
who were children when President Hitch
cock was boy will remember that in
many houses wooden dye tub, holding
eight or ten gallons, stood in almost
every kitchen chimney corner, filled with
dye, where the good housewives colored
the yarn for the stockings and mittens of
the family. 1t was a warm, coy place,
and was frequently occupied as a seat
(of course it had tightly fitting cover
by children when studying their Daboll's
arithmetic and Murray's grammar
We much mistake the object and scope
of education when we suppose that resi-
dence in college halls is necessary to an
education. We believe in colleges. They
stand as outposts against ignorance.
Thousands of the best men and women
have been educated by them; but an edu-
cation outside has been accomplished with
excellent success in a multitude of in
stances. We often hear of very success
full men in business spoken of as .'unedu-
Gated" Are they7 One in mind had a
thorough knowledge of men. He could
read them like book. His Judgment of
stocks and investments was excellent.
He had aggressiveness, caution, and vet
was almost lavish in his outIays. He
knew nothing of either Greek or Latin.
but was well versed in the language ways
of business. AS commander of men he
was unexcelled; yet he was '.unedu-
Gated" Was he? The most important
definition just now needed for the new
dictionary. soon to appear, is for this old
word, education.-School Journal.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06


Imagine perfect sphere of GAS with
he polish Of the diamond, perfectly de
toid Of tint, 80 pellucid that one can look
into its very depths without catching. the
slightest ray Of color, In fact, It is a
gigantic dewdrop, clear and wonderful IN
Is absence OF color, presenting, as have
salds an astonishing contrast to glass,
which Is well to remember, Is such bogus
balls are often offered for sale, but can be
told Immediately by comparing them
with glass Rock crystal balls win not
be collected Ike stamps, birds eggs or
coins. A ball one inch. IN diameter
brings 81, two inches s., three inches IN
diameter SIS to SIS, four inches $40 to
to $75, i've inches 1925 TO $3.50, six
inches from 5000 to s., 900, and from
here they jump to astonishing prices, so
that one can be as select In crystal balls
As with diamonds.
The majority comes from Madagascar
and Brazil, while the best known IocaIi-
ties IN Europe are Fredeberg. Salzberg.
Zllert1al In the Tyrol and Hungary.
Limited supplies come from Ceylon, and
some has been found IN this state, though
not in large quantities In the vicinity
of Mont Blanc some fine specimens are
found, and some years ago a peasant
m1de a remarkable find at Galensteck,
ABOVE the Trifengletscher. It was a
granite cave, from which the discoverer
took over 1000 crystals, the finest weigh
ing about 100 pounds. The largest was
sent to this country, and is now IN the
collection OF Mr.. Clarence s. Bement, of
Philadelphia Another, known as 1.-The
Grandfather, Is preserved at Berne,
Switzerland It weighs 276 pounds,
vhilc 1.-The King tips the scales at 225
pounds weight-San Francisco Can.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
No Two ua,s A1ihe.

There is popularity about ladies' head
dressing which few men have discovered,
notwithstanding their complaints with
reference to high hats at the opera and
their unjust and unwarranted assertions
that their wives must have new bonnets
to match those of the ladies in their set.
That peculiarly is that no two hats worn
by lovely women are alike. You may go
to any public gathering, or watch the
passing throng all day, and you will not
be rewarded by seeing two hats that re-
Eemblo each other, with 9 thousand to
pick from Is it INTENTIONAL presume
it is, upon the part OF the milliner. 1t is
only recently that made this discovery.
and have yet to find the pair of bonncts
or hats to match. There are hundreds of
hats of like shape, to be sure, but the deft
fingers of the miIliner transform tho orig
f1al into an indescribable confusion of
effect, which cannot be initiated or du-
plicated. to please the purchaser Globe
Democrat
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
= ,nornh1n 60 - ..a.,ltae...

Leaving Lahore day before yesterday
afternoon, a ride of thirty-two miles
brought us 70 this place, AmIitsar,
which name is a combination of Sanskrit
words, meaning s.fountain of irnmortal-
ity.o About halfway from Lahore we
passed through the small town of Atari,
the scene of one of the most memorable
cases Of iisattee" in the history OF India.
Its gray headed Sikh chief, Sham Singh,
while proceeding against some Moham-
medan enemies of his faith, was sur
rounded by overpowering numbers, with
no opportunity for escape or prospect of
assistance. Rather than submit, he
clothed himself IN pure white, to denote
devotion to his religion unto death, and
placing himself at the head of his follow
ers, charged the enemy with great Draw
cry, and was killed after performing
many feats of personal gallantry. When
the news was brought TO his one and only
wife. she hurriedly had her funeral pyre
prepared, and, in the presence of the en-
tire Sikh community, mounted it COM
posedly and deliberately committed
'+suttee' allowed herself to burn to
death.
Although suffice was frequently re-
sorted to by the HindooS, yet voluntary
examples of it were exceedingly rare.
That thorough and beautiful love which
would make a woman give up her
earthly life for the possibility of an inn
mediate reunion with her husband does
not seem to have been very common in
India, for, as far as l can learn, but very
few of the recorded cases of ''suttee''
were voluntary ones. The case mem
toned above is well authenticated one,
though; and the loving wife passed out
Of this world believing that her act would
entitle her to the Hindoo promise of an
immediate reunion In heaven with her
husband, to last as many thousands of
years as he had hairs on his body.-India
Cor. Baltimore Sun.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
AVerdIct Unanimous.

W. d. Suit, Druggist, Bippus, Ind,
testifies: "I can recommend Electric
Bitters as the very best remedy. Every
bottle sold has given relief in every case.
One man took six bottles, and was cur
ed of Rheumatism 70 10 years standing -
Abram Hare, Druggist, Bellville, Ohio,
afiirms: 1.-The best selling medicine 1
have ever handled in my 20 years ex-
perience,- is Electric Bitters." Thous-
ands of others have added their testi-
mony, SO that the verdict is unanimous
that Electric Bitters do cure all disease of
the Liver, Kidneys or blood. Only a
half dollar bottle at vanGilder's Drug
Store.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
statistics OF Bright's disease.

s'Died of Bright's disease has become
a familiar phrase in obituary notices. Ii
has become so much more common that
the general impression is that the disease
IS moro prevalent than in former periods.
The statistics of the New York bureau of
vital statistics seem to verify this i'm
preston. In 1871 BriSht's disease was
seventh in order of fatality. In 1885 it
was fifth In 1871 the total deaths were
&c, 976; of Bright's disease. 1880. In
1885 it supplied 1904 cut of a total of
1852; cases of this disease increased In
fourteen years 100 per cent. while the
total number of deaths increased only 50
per cent--Brooklyn Eagle.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Experienced gun makers and artillerists
have recently admitted that the steel rifle
has not fulfilled the promises made for Il.
The Krupp guns, of which we hear so
much, have never yet been subjected to
such high pressurcs as have been applied
to cast iron guns, and experience has
shown it would not be safe to put them
through such tests. Indeed, the cast iron
smooth bore guns which have been con
yerted into rifles by the insertion of
wrought iron rified cylinders have been
fired under pressure fully three times
as great as it has been thought advisable
to- subject steel guns of the same caliber
to.-ScientiEc American.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Another Chance for Puzzle Workers.
THE JUDGES SECOND PRIZE OFFERING,
In Behalf of the
Grant Monument Fund.

In spite of its more or less complica-
ted character, the Judges Grand Word
Contest, inst ended has proven great
success. BY it Judge has enlisted over
5000 energetic, spirited and intelligent
workers for the Grant Fund, has mater
tally swtlled the total previously receiv-
ed through the Grant Monument Com
mittee by the contribution. of good
sized check, and has in addition divided
$500 among eight successful and happy
puzzle workers as reward for their labor
and ingenuity. JUDGE now inaugurates
a second contest of an even more popu-
lar character than the first-a contest in
which every school child can engage and
stand an equal chance with older COM
petitors.
Every person who, in conformance
with governing rules. sends to the Judge
Grant Find, on or before June 10Th.
1887, ~ o'clock noon,) 80 cents and the
names of the eleven most popular living
men in America will be entitled to par
ticipate in the contest. The money
thus received will be appropriated as
follows:
Twenty-Five cents will be at once cred
tied to the Grant Fund.
The remaining twenty-five cents, after
deducting the legitimate expenses of adj
vertising, will be placed i'll a common
fund to be divided equally among the
six competitors having the fullest list of
the most popular people as indicated by
a majority of all the lists sent in. The
new contest is. in fact, based upon the
principles of an election, each cumpeti-
tive paper virtually acting in the nature
OF ballot, and the six lists containing
the greater number of the eleven names
shown to be the most popular by>a ma
iority of all the lists will be the success
fnl prize papers.
The magnitude of the prizes will de-
pend ON the amount of money received,
or in other words, on the number OF
competitors. The names and contribu-
tions of competitors will be acknowledge
land the progress of the fund shown)
from week to week in JUDGE. Govern
ing rules in this weeks JUDGE; or circu-
lars mailed on receipt of postage. Re-
quests for copies of paper must be ac-
companied by ten cents. Address,
"Granf Fund.-
The Judge Publishing Co.,
IS Park Row, n. Y. City.
inch 23-4w.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
rour score 1ears OIa.

Professional humorists may be inter
ested IN these two jokes: Mrs. W.,
walking on one OF tho wharves of New
York, loosely asked sailor why a ship
was called she. Oh said the son of
Neptune, because the rigging costs more
than the hull - "A preacher who kept
a huckster shop was heard one day to say
to his shOpman: John. have you watered
the rum Yes .Have1you sanded the
brown sugar? Yes Have you vyetted
the tobacco Yes Then come in to
prayers The first was published in
the Massachusetts, Connecticut. Rhode
Island, New Hampshire, and Vermont
Almanac in 1899 and the second in
Benjamin Vests Rhode Island Al
manac'' of 1865 Chicago Times.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
soclety,s Worst Sins.

Society's worst sins are the raising of a
false crop of vanity. dissipation, excess.
and then when it is reused by a CRY from
the heart or sllipwreck it blanes not
itself, but another; idleness, jealousy,
hatred. revenge, all form together like
toadstools in a garden; cultivation, in
tegrity. honor and loyalty form in the
same garden. We call it all societv.-
Mrs. John Sherwood in New York World.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Not to be Blamed.

Father Taylor one Sunday afternoon
was officiating at an infant baptism. and
the clIurchy~as filed with large au-
dience as usual The baby.was restless
during the services, and when Father
Taylor took her IN his arms she cried as
only infants can cry. But this didn't in
the least disturb the old minister, for.
raising the child In his arms where all
the people could sec her, he said: Don t
blame the child for crying, but thank the
Lord that she has such good lungs. .
Concord q. HI Monitor.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
WHAT AIS THE NAllONf
The Average Length of Life De
creasing-Not Pestilence-
Not Famine-AEl our
own Fault.

MODERN CooKNa AND MOD
ERN LwrNe have brought it
on. 1t comes upon us una
wares. The patients have
pains aboutthe chest and sides,
and sometimes in the back.
They feel dull and sleepy; the
mouth has a bad taste, especi-
ally in the morning. A sort
of sticky slime collects about
the teeth. The appetite is poor.
There is a feeling like a heavy
load on the stomach; sometimes
a faint, all-gone sensation at
the pit of the stomach which
food does not satisfy. The
eyes are sunken, the hands
and feet become cold and feel
clamny- After a while a
cough sets in, at first dry, but
after a few months it is at
tended with a greenish colored
expectoration. The patient
feels tired all the while, and
sleep does not seem to afford
any rest. After a time he be-
comes nervous, irritable and
gloomy, and has evil forebod-
ings. There is q giddiness,
sort of whirling sensation in
the head when rising up sud
denly. The bowels become
costive; the skin is dry and
hotat times; the blood becomes
thick and stagnant; the whites
of the eyes become tinged with
yellow; the kidney secretions
becomes scanty and high col
ored, depositlng a selnnent
after standing. There is fire.
quently a spiiting up OF the
iood, sometimes with q sour
taste and sometimes with a
swedish taste; this is fire.
quently attenGel with palpi-
tation of the heart and Asth-
matte symptoms; tie vision be-
comes impaired, with spots be-
fore the eyes; there IS a feel
ing of great prostration and
weakness. All of these symp-
toms are in turn present. 1t
is thought that nearly one-half
of our population has this dis
ease in some OF its varied forms.
Shaker Extract of Roots (Sei-
gels Syrup changes the fer
ments OF the Digestive organs so
asto convert the food we eat into
a form that viii give nourish-
ment to tie feeble body, ard
rood health is the consequence.
The effect of this remedy is
simply marvellous. Millions
upon millions of bottles have
been sold in this country, and
the testimonials in favor of its
curative powers are over
whelming. Hundreds of so
called diseases under various
names are the result of indi-
gestion, and when this one
trouble is removed the othe1
diseases vanish, for they are
but symptoms of the real
malady
Testimonials from thousands
of people speaking highly of
its curative properties prove
this beyond adoubt. Sold by
druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

No. leaves Ashland daily, 7.o7 a. m.
running to Clifton Forge, 7:-l5 p. m.
No. leaves Clifton Forge daily 700
am; arrives Ashland $50 p m.
Nos. and ., daily except Sunday
Sleeping Cars between HUNTINGTON anil
clifton Forge.
Nos and run daily, and do not ste;,
for local business. Pullman Sleeping
Cars and Solid Train between Louisviil
and Washington and Cincinnati and
Richmond without change.
No. II, daily except Sunday, leave Mt.
Sterling $50 n. m. arrive Lexington
$40. a. M, arrive Cincinnati, via Win
chester, ll:35 a. m.
No. II, daily, except Sunday, leava
Cincinnati 200 p. m, Lexington 5:3j
p. N. arrive Mt. Sterling 1:lO y. M.
Old Dominion Steamers leave EorfnlS
on Monday, Tuesday, "Wednesday,
Thursday and Saturday ut 8 p. N.
arrive in New York next afternoon.
For Rates. Tickets, Baggage, Checks. APP
ply 10 any Office of c. & .. R'y; or Depot
OF Ticket Once OF connecting lines.
vs.. W. MOORE,
Gent ligpa, Lexington, Ky.
II. ". FULLER, Gen. Pass. -4gt-
WIS. c. VICKH.IM,
Second Tfce- Precedent.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Dir Swell (who has rented a fashionable
apartment house)-we neend't be
of this, my dear.
Mrs. Sweil-NO, indeed; it is perfectly
lovely, and such n fashionable Iocalityi
Mr. SweH-That's the beauty of it.
And now. my dear. if you viii send
Perkins out for a loaf Of bread and half a
pound Of butter we viii have something
to eat---NeVv York Sun.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Bucklen,s .Arnica saIye.

The Best SaLre in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores. Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fee
yer Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
qnired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction, or money refunded. Price,
% cts. per box. For sale by A. C. VAN.
GLIDER, Druggist. tdec.lO-1y.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Excitementin Texas.

Great excitement has been caused in
the vicinity of Paris, Tex, by the re-
markable recovery of Mr.. j. E. Corley,
who was so helpless he could not turn
in bed, or raise his head; everybody said
he was dying of Consumption. A trial
bottle OF DIR. Kings New Discovery was
sent him. Finding relief, he bought a
lage bottle and box of DIR. Kings New
Life Pills; by the time he had taken two
boxes of Pills and two bottles of the
Discovery, he was well and had gained
in flesh thirty-six pounds.
Trial Bottles of this Great Discovery for
Consumption. free at A. G. yanGilder's
Drug Store.
The State Of New York has twen-
ty six business colleges; Illinois.
twenty three; Ohio twenty one; and
Pennsylvania, twenty.
A community or nation. if kept
at all in safety, will be kept by
those who keep Sunday. but no
community and no nation will
long he kept in safety in which
Sunday is not kept.
Diner-"Waiter, 1 see you have
got turtle soup on the menu. Is it
mock turtle2" Waiter-.No, sir,
mud"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

The man who luses his entire
fortune OH a single venture with
out grimace, will kick like steer
if there is twist in his suspenders.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

How can you expect woman to
keep up with the age, when she
has so much difficulty in keeping
up with her own.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

You are wrong, my son, person
feeling i'll may have no i'll feeling.
Indeed, some very nice people live
i'll LII.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

When 1 went West to find an
opening for my money Brooks was
a sedate, hard working lawyer
| never supposed he would earn
his salt.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

What has Father Time done to
the must clans that they must
beat" him so often?
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

well. what is it, Nora?" 'In
dade, mum, the waters cold."-
What water2" "The hot water,
num-"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
Flooding land I'm Alraar,,.

The project of flooding portion of
Algeria from the sea has been abandoned.
but it seems that large tracts may be
covered with wnter from other sources.
De Lesseps reports to the French academy
that a single artesian well bored in 1885,
Is yielding some 1000 gallons minute,
and has formed considerable lake thirty
feet deep, retaining from 200 to /. 500
acres of waste land. -Arkansaw Traveller.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Pauper< are bound to go ragged
as long as they are all mend I-cants.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Let the motive be in the deed
and not in the event. Be not one
whose motive for action is the hope
of reward.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06
superiority of case Irnn onn..

Chautauqua is an Indian word, and
said to mean a bag tied in the middle.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

webster's supplement says tobcgrsn
lis corruption If the mathematician
odabogan, a sled
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Advertising always pays, - to be
sure but we are sorry to say that
advertising is not always paid for
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1887-04-06

Mind-reading, it is said, leads to
matrimony II would be more
popular if it would only lead to
patrimony.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1887-09-30
How Fashions Originate.

have always been interested in what I
may call the genesis of fashion, and hap
pening some five or six years ago to meet
at the house of a well known enterprising
London publisher, a young Frenchlnan
who was, was told, the editeur that is
to say, the publisher) of some half dozen
of the best Paris fashion magazines, I
ventured to ask him for some details of
how he, month after month, presented his
subscribers with a series of new hats and
dresses and bonnets and all the rest of it.
He proved most communicative in his
reply, and I learned that he kept on the es-
Enlistment, not a poet like Mr.. Moses, but
two artists of repute, whose work it was
to design new shapes and combinations of
colors and forms.
AS to the source Of their inspiration, he
admitted that they not unfrequently went
to. the back volumes of the firms fashion
magazines, of which there We're files
reaching back to the very beginning, and
having evolved new bonnet or dress out
of his inner consciousness, or by altering
or developing some long forgotten mode of
the past, the artist has done his share of
the work. The next thing to be done,
according to my informant, was to induce
some well known leader of Partisan So
ciety or popular French actress to adopt
one of the new shaped hats or costumes,
or whatever it might be. This accom-
plished, the success Of a new mode was
often assured, just as the success Of new
song is often secured if some famous vo-
calist can only be induced to sing it in
public.-Figaro.