The Portland daily press., 1887-03-26
WIT AND WISDOM.


In the Court of Assizes the advocate general
points to the accused with gesture of scorn and
says says
has ever produced"
81 agree with him, gentlemen Of the jury in
terrupled the accused, but monsieur has forgot
ten TO say at which end"
Always avoid harsh purgative pills. They first
make you sick and then leave you constipated.
Carter's Little Liver Pills regulate the bowels
and make you well. Dose one pill.
Fannie" said Omaha mother to her pretty
daughter, didn't hear Frank kiss you last night
mo, ma'am, you did not, :" replied the daughter
Indignantly.
aNOP" said the mother, suspiciously.
II, 40 49, on DIDN'T because Frank shut the par
Then the girl stopped and blushed. and blushe
again. ana made a rush for her own room
Extra Liability to MaIariai Infection.
PERSONS whose blood is thin, digestion weak
ana liver sluggish, are extra-liable to the attacks
OF malarial disease. The NEST trlhng exposure
may, under such conditions infect system
which, II healthy would resist the masmatic
faint. The only way to secure immunity from
malaria in Localities where it is prevalent, is to
tone and regulate the system by improving weak
ened digestion, enriching the blood and giving
wholesome impetus to hillary secretion. These
results are accomplished by nothing so effectively
as Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, which long ex-
perience has proved to be the most reliable safe
guard against fever and ague and kindred disor-
ders, as we'll as the remedy for them. The Bit
tiers are, moreover an excellent inyig0rant Of the
E nsgtn q f ana , ana an active ds2urent elm
which originate rheumatic ailments.
When Lady Manyille and her children first Gang
over here, they were the guests of Mrs. w. X.
Vanderbilt The morning after their arrival as
they were seated at the table in the breakfast
ROOM into which the sun streamed through the
gorgeousy stained windows Lady NJ noticed
her lap Upon being questioned as to why she did
not eat her breakfast, she replied
II don't think It's nice to eat In church,
Mamma"
If you are nervous or dyspep.ic try Carters
Little Nerve Pills. Dyspepsia makes you ner-
yous, and nervousness makes you dyspeptic;
either one renders you miserable and these little
pills cure both.
An old Slamese teacher. trying 10 master Eng
fish, wrote list of definitions, from which we Sc
lect the following: wig hypoerite hair; lattery,
good kind OF curse word whiskey, sin water;
gold, very good thing; blow, wind verb; kick
foot verb; bow. a salute verb; hop, a frog verb:
lar a bad adjective Of boy modesty good adj
good word of philosophy man. daughter, a girl
son; bullet, son OF gun; SPONGE water foam;
angel, Gods boy; preach, a missionary verb.
People will have DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup. 90 cts
Read and profit by it'll have been great suf
ferer for some time from lumbago l tried Saliva
tlon Oil and 1t gave Inc entire relief JOHN II.
JONES.
Debuty Inspector, Tobacco Warehouse 4, BALTIC
Minnie A-.Josie b. Is spreading on her youIg
man. They have been out together every day
since they announced their engagement. They 20
10 the theatre together. to the symphony, TO
church, everywhere. / see them every day.
Sallie C.--She needn't display herself. Last
year was engaged to her young man. and know
all about it. He's chestnut