New Ulm weekly review., 1887-09-28
What Became Of Uncle ia
cob's Quitting.

New York Witness.
"Fie, man! Spelling your break
fast" said Uncle Jacob, as he came
into the garden where was at work
'"Too bad to spoil such nice break
fasts as your Mary gets"
"Why, Uncle Jacob" said I, II was
brought up to earn my breakfast be-
fore ate it,
Tut, tut, mani 1 didn't mean
working in the pure air.
What then?''
.It's that nasty pipe, that is spoil
ing Gods sweet air for you. Spoils
your appetite, too. l know all
about it. I never had good
breakfast for twenty years, though
your Aunt Rachel is the
best cook you ever saw. 1 used to
find fault with my victuals and tell
wife they didn't taste like mothers.
The patient soul bore it all meekly
for years, but one morning said: 'Ja-
cob, did it never come into your mind
that the difference between your
mothers cooking and mine lays in
that pipe? You didn't smoke when
you ate her food. I try hard
as can to suit you, but you mix so
much tobacco juice and smoke with
the victuals that it spoils it ALL"
II didn't say anything, because
there wasn't nothing to say; but 1
kept thinking, yes, and smoking, too,
for awhile, but didn't find any more
fault with your aunt's cooking.
One day, while l was down
East for a spell, I was thinking
what could carry home to Rachel.
It kept coming into my mind that the
thing she would like best would be a
husband with pure breath and clean
lips. So, with a mighty effort and
prayer for help said: Ell do it. 'Pll
quit now and forever, so help me
Godp "
"Did your" said I, taking my own
meerschaum from my mouth.
"Quit?" said he, 'I'd do it after
made up my mind to it if it killed me
that's your Uncle Jacob. There was
an old lady moved from our neighbor-
hood, who lived right on the road
where l was travelling. She'd known
ME from q boy. went to her and 1
says, says I, Aunt Polly, l want to
make you a present. Pm going to
give you my pipe and tobacco The
old lady smoked. knew she never
would quit, and couldn't quite bear
to throw the pipe away, I'd had it so
long.
"'What fur?' says she.
"Oh, Pm going to quit. Aunt Polly
"Quit?' says she. why, Jacob
Cay, it will kill you! You can't do
it,
"see II DON'T says I, and I rode
away.
"It's been twenty years and I
haven't been back after it yet. And
it didn't kill me either" said Uncle
Jacob, throwing back his broad
shoulders, and striking his deep chest,
and showing his teeth sound and
white, in spite of his seventy years.
Didn't you banker alter your
pipe?" l asked.
"Hanker! 'Tain't no word for it.
Fact is, don't believe there's any
word strong enough. But I'd made
up my mind. was crosser than ten
bears, and I didn't dare to 20 home
for three weeks for fear Ishould abuse
Rachel."
"What did Aunt Rachel say when
you told her?"
II never said nothin' about it at
first, but didn't smoke. If she no.
ticed it she didn't let on, the first day.
The second day, after dinner, she
said, Jacob, seems to me I haven't
seen you smoke since you got home.
You amt sick, or nothing be you?
Does your business trouble your
said the kind old soul, anxiously.
'Poh,' said I; 1'ye always smoked
after I ate for thirty years.
But I'm sure haven't seen you
nor smelt tobacco
60 an look in my other clothes,
Rachel. and see if you don't find my
pipe and tobacco
She went rummagine away for
awhile and at last said,
Where be they, jacob she looked
so astonished that l said.
Well, Rachel, you needn't look for
'em no more. I felt the peskv things
down IN Burnham CHATS a good
place for 'em). You and I will never see
'em again. I've quit. Hain't smoked
for three weeks and don't mean to
for all time You should have seen
your aunt's face light up. She kinder
sidled up to me and said:
Jacob Gay! I must say!' and
then she kissed me, thing she dian'
often do. 'Spects she didn't like the
smell OF my breath. l tell you, Rach-
els cooking was tip-top alter that.
'tpve had good breakfasts twenty
year, to bad taste in my mouth.
Don't need to do anything to
get up an appetite. RaehePs
cooking is as good as mothers,
and better, too. You can't think how
! pleased she is when praise it, seeing
I was ON the other track so long.
There's, the breakfast beIl- Come,
nephew, throw away that cid pipe
and let's 60 in and tell Mary
| 'tI won't allow that my Uncle Ja-