The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-01-11

horror passes the entire length of the spinal
column: The frenzied start squealzs the
costly framework of the richly carved couch
ON which recline. In an instant the gentle
man whips out small gun, tells me to move
at my peril, and with his pockets full Of stuff
that 1 have toiled hard for years to accom-
plish, he slowly egresses 1 realize that my
wife would not be a competent witness on
my behalf, and l have failed to provide other
witnesses in my apartments. You know
man cannot think of everything. In fact,
thousands of men retire every night with alb
solutely no one as witness to protect them
but their wives, forgetting that as protec-
tor wife is almost worthless, and as a wit
ness she is even more so.
So l have written out and had printed a
large number of blanks, on which appear the
following questions with spaces for answers.
You wake upin the dead hours of night to find
party in the room engaged i'll the felony in
dustry. You ask him to be seated and tax
ing from your writing desk the blank alIud-
ed to, you PROFOUND the following conun-
drums to him, filling in the answers he
gives them:
l. What is your name!
2. Where do you reside?
8. What is your age!
4. Your weight?
s. Are you married or single; and if so,
should shoot you i'll self defense!
8. Do you die easy Or do you generally
cling to life!
z. Are you natural born citizen of the
United States you alien:
s. If an alien, please state whether it is
family characteristic?
9. Do you use tobacco?
10 Please state what disposition you would
like to have made of your remains in case
you should be shot in self defense.
II. Do you drink!
10 If so, why will you persist in so doing?
Is What do you generally take!
Qntermission)
IL Do you contemplate the commission of
a felony?
ID If So state what is your favorite style
of felony and your reasons for dabbling in
felony?
IS Is this the first time you have ever
taken part in justifeble homicide?
H. If not, please state fully where, when
and under what circumstances you took such
a part, and whether or not you at that time
took the offensive or defensive.
- Do you smoke cigarettesl
10 Please breathe hard on the breast
tester, not necessarily for publication, but
for future analysis.
90 Have you ever been insane?
81. Are you insane now9
o. Do you ever have microbes on your
brain:
23 If so, do you think that they tend
to deteriorate the brain tissue, or do you
think that they improve it in your casea
"a Have you any other clothes that you
would prefer to be laid out in, aside from
those you now wear!
% When did you first begin to toll up
toward the pinnacle Of felony!
90 What amount of money would you be
willing to take in order to forego and, as it
were omit this particular felony?
q. Would mining stock or ninety day
paper be taken in such deal?
%. If unsatisfactory answers are made to
both the above interrogations, will you please
state fully what medical college you would
prefer to endow with yourself?
20. Is the idea of personal devil repulsive
to you!
80 Would you please protrude your tongue
as far as possible, and hold it there until q
physician can be summoned?
81. Are you an offensive partisan!
GSign here) ....................
Signed in the presence Observation-Disclosures.
The witnesses must be wholly disinterested
parties, and in case either should be unable
TO sign his or her name two witnesses to the
making of the mark must be present and
sign.
BY using these blanks and using them in
diligently l believe that much tedious and
exaSperating litigation might be avoided
and that great deal of brain flag which is
becoming so alarmingly prevalent among
Jurors. will be prevented. Should these lines
be productive of Sucn results, though it be in
a slight degrees only, shall be proud and
IN,