The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1887-12-08
cakes is better than a liver pad these frosty

caps on.
a society girl says that autumn leaves
may be very beautiful, but they are not
nearly so nice as 10 o'clock leaves.
The chap who fiods carpet nail In his
uncooked oysters is among those who wish
the tax taken off raw material.
"Does your husband swear as much as
ever?" "Swear! Why can't keep par
rot two weeks in the house"
The older man gets the more difficult
1t is to pull the wool over his eyes. He has
a good deal less wool you know.
II is suggested as a shrewd guess that the
| first mention Of playing cards is in the
Bible. 1t was when Neb euchered Nezzar.
Paris is to have three story crematory.
1t is supposed the upper classes will insist
upon being cremated in the upper story.
In the bright lexicon of the base ball
player home run in time save the nine.
Jay Gould has landed In England, but
Queen Victoria still retains controlling
interest in the throne.
st. John remarks that the Prohiblionsts
will go into the next Presidential campaign
with ardent spirits.
Mistress TO applicanO-And what Is
your name? Applicant-DIary Browne,
mum; we spell it wild the "e''.
When you read that a millionaire works
harder than any of his clerks, please to re-
member that he also gets more pay.
An auti-fat restaurant has been opened in
London, Anti.fat boarding houses have
long been known in this country.
Princess Beatrice has a daughter. The
list of dependents upon the British tax
payers grows large by degrees and beauti-
fully more.
Considering the price of fashionable bon
nets, we begin to think the word million
airc' is but corruption of milliner.
Its an i'll wind that blows nobody good ,
said the Thanksgiving turkey, rs a cyclone
whlrled him from under the farmers up
lifted Ratchet into the next county.
The agricultural fair Of the present opens
with speech by lawyer and closes with
n horse race. Agriculture takes back
seat.
Il see the dude has got into the latest
edition Of Wcbster's Dictionary" "Has
he? Wei, hurry, then, and slam the cover
down."
Theatrical Managcr-Thcre are breakers
ahead. Joncs-Why so? Because l see
SO many light houses"
''What was Ncro's greatest act of cruel
| ty?' asked the teacher of the class in hsto-
| ~ IiS III INC ll(lulc, was inc prompt
| response; and the teacher let it 90 at that
Sandy accepted the guide wifc's invita-
ton with the reservation, IF am spared" "
1--WE wecl, said the lady, IF ye'rc dead
I'll not expect ye."
1t is rather hard on Wong Chin Foo to
have to pay fifty dollars to enter Canada
when American hcathen are skipping in
every day or two free gratis
In, Tpvto Pico tboro l., not =, o;,,.-1.
lincry store. Married men who want
tickets to Costa Rica should step up to the
office before the rush begins
Yes, waiter, I am magnetist: would
You like to see me tip the table? Waiter
No, sab but if it's all dc same to you, sab, ,
yer might tip dc waiter sab.
The Indians have taken to smoking cigar
cites. Now let them stand around sucking
| the hCAdS of their canes and the problem of
their civilization is solved.
II is said that small hand indicates re-
! iincmcnI and yet we have seen small hands
and he'd them too, b thunder, that brought
out l0ng1agc anything but refined.
When collins can be bought in New York
| for forty cents apiece il IS hard to excuse
Johann Most for his criminal negligence in
continuing to live.
| lIc-What will you have, dear, candy or
ice cream? Shc-No, Edward get some
! popcorn. please. Hc-Do you like that
Stuf? SAlc-Ics; l like everything that
pops.
''Ih" climate Of New Jersey is salubrious,
is ii not he asked. "Salubriousp' re-
pcatcd the enthusiastic citizen Of that State,
.'Nhy, stranger, we have mosquitoes in
January"
y London paper speaks of "heallh re-
sorts for horses localities where mem
h2rs of the first equine families arc sent for
change of air Would it be proper to call
such resorts hospitalsy
An article in an exchange headed ''What
the Typewriter Is Doing" doesn't state the
fact that it is exposing the poor spelling Of
many operators, as well as their ignorance
of punctuation and the use of capital letters.
Il am free TO confess that want the
earth, said one man to another. well,
sec only one hope for you" "What is
that?' Get Jay Gould to make his will
i'll your favor.
Wife NO third husbandD-If you feel so
unwcl, John, | think we had better send
for my old family physician. Third Hus-
band Csomcwhat hastily)-No, my dear,
would prefer to send for some one else.
Trust Company Agent-Thinking that
you might want to secure your personal
property, | desire to recOmmcnd-- Mr..
Duscnbcrry-GOu are little too late; the
Sheriff has just secured it.
Clcrk-What can we do for you sir?
| Cust0mcr-l wish to purchase an overcoat
Cierk-Ah, yes! Something in a chinchilla
sir? Customcr-No. Something in a chin
warmer, if you please
The average girl is now engaged in the
manuIacturc Of slipper patterns and whisk-
broom holders, which she will exchange
December 2J for tortoisc-shell fans, dia-
mond earrings and the like. The average
girl has good head for business, after all.
'Dom't marry II woman who knows more
that you, says an exchange. But some
men we have met would have dusty old
hunt If thcy undertook the contract Of dis
covering woman who knows less than
they know.
."Gosh, Maria" exclaimed an old farmer,
visiting New York with his spouse, "here's
place where they pull teeth for twenty
five cents. Let's 90 in and have our'n out.
We won't have another sech chance"
Can you tell me, darling" he asked, as
they sat together on the weak spot Of the
sofa, the exact mathematical duration of