The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-04
BRIGHT BITS.

We notice that as rule people who owe n
grudge never ask for an extension of time nor
reduction of interest. They whack up at every
opportunity Exchange.
THE Boston Beacon prints a picture of Base
ball Kelly with a halo about his head St Kelly
seems to occupy about the same position in that
intellectual city as St. Sullivan Detroit Free
Press.
WILL You please insert this obituary notice?"
asked an old gentleman OF an editor. II make
bold to ask 1t because the deceased had great
many friends about here who'd be glad to hear
OF his death. Sunday Democrat.
OMAHA DAME-What do you Think Ihave a
girl who gets up in the morning without being
called.
Chorus of Voices Impossible!
But it is true; she's in love with the milk
man.-Ontaha World.
CARRIE-Where have you been?
Clara-Ive been to the druggists to get some
medicine
Carrie What did you get?
Clara-Well / got some gum drops, and a
pound OF marshmallow paste and pot of
rouge, and two sheets of fly paper and glass
of vanilla cream soda and q sachet
Carrie-Poor thing. You must have a good
deal of sickness at your house go ToW7l Topics
A MAN who had not been in certain Dakota
town for something over year was recently
talking with man who lives there and hap,
pened to refer to the stream the place is situated
on as @ creek"
That's no creek, /" said the native.
They called it Buffalo Wallow Creek when l
was there before y
''Oh, well, that's all right, but its Big Buffalo
river, now"
Il don't see what could make the difference "
II can-that was before the boom. 1t was a
creek then, but you bet It's O big, flowing river
with catfish and sea serpent in it now Just
read the local paper and learn about the i'm
mense water power it furnishes, and how it is
an important factor in settling the vexed inter
there's nothing like a boom to bring out the
good points of things Dakota Bell.
THE Colonel had contributed fifty cents at
Decatur, quarter at Birmingham, thirty cents
at Verbena and thirty-fiv at Bessemer-al for
the rebuilding of colored churches DESTROYED
by cyclones, y and when we got to Sheffield and
an ancient darby struck him again with the
same old chestnut, he turned on to the man
with; ID
See here Where is that church,"
Bout 10 miles from heah, sir"
when did the cyclone hit it?''
Las September"
81 don't believe it. / believe you are lying to
me. Now, then, will yon tell the truth for hall
a dollar?" Jc
Yves, eah.''
Every well Was that church building blown
down by a cyclone or notf want straight
and truthful answer"
AN you'll gin me TO bits?"
Yes, will. You only wanted two bits fol-
the church, while here are four for the truth. >
Den, san, snail let the church slide an SUCH
to the troot an, hope fur de Lawd to forgin me
Dat sighclone jist missed de church by two
inches, but 4 fought dat was clus 'nu6 to collect
a few dollars on!'-Detroit Free Press.
AN American traveller while in Venice met q
man dressed in the unmistakable "toggery'' OF
the Mississippi river bottoms. All" said the
traveller approaching the Southerner, 81 an
not acquainted with you but am glad to SET
you for know you are from my country"
81 am from Mississippi"
Il knew It," said the traveller, extending his
hand. What do you think of Venice ?"
Wall don't reckon / oughter express my
opinion now, fur didn't cit here till airter the
overflow, an haint had chance to see the
town, but as the water pears TO be on stanC
now, reckon it'll begin to go down putty soon
an low that when she starts she'll go dowr
right peart."
my gracious man, this is not an overflow"
Then it's about as lively freshet as ever
seed. In our country, when we have to paddle
round the streets in canoes, we call it putty
good overflow"
you don't understand. This is Venice anC
the water is always here"
You don't say so. An does the government
have to issue rations to all these folks ~
"Of course not. This town was built thi,
way to"
wall, that mout be. but call it a overflow
all the same; but if it amt goin't to fall enough
| for me to see the town, reckon I'd better go
| This is the blamest swamp / ever seed."-Ar
| kansdlC Traveller.