Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1887-06-25
HUMOR.
HALF the pepper sold consists Of ps

HALF the pepper sold consists Of pf.
A MEAN temperature-Ten degrees
below zero.
WHERE there's a will there's gener-
ally u way-to contest it.
STRANGE as it may seem, when
money is close it is difficult to get very
near it.
OYSTERS should be eaten only in
cold weather, but salt and pepper are
always seasonable.
"ARE you fond of tongue, sirP" 81
was always fond of tongue madame,
and like it STILL"
IF man was suddenly struck blind
what would he say to his wife {? II
haven't an eye, dear"
|. THE largest dog in America is owned
by q leather dealer, who runs a tam
merry off the bark of the dog.
It is admitted far and wide,
That it has been the maiden aim
Since first tAs world Of ones began,
To change tho maiden name
-Tid-Bits.
LITTLE GIRL-Please mum, Pas
got a chill, an he wants to know if he
can come over and shake yer carpets.
"JUsT bought this donkey, Jones.
What do you think Of my purchaser"
Most remarkable case of self-posses-
sion l ever knew"
"WHAT am likely to draw if buy
lottery ticketl" asks rural sub
scriber. We never succeeded in draw
ing anything but a long breath
Rambler.
CASHIER wish to marry your
daughter, sir. May have her? Pro-
prietor (who has just been examining
the books)-Well, I suppose I'D better
give my consent. I want to keep the
money in the family.
"GoT any invisible ink?" he asked
of the stationer. Don't think / have, !"
replied the man, as he scanned tho
shelves. "You don't think you'd SEQ
it if you had. do your" asked the boy.
"What's the use of being invisible If
you can be seen?"-Detioit Free Press.
AN irate passenger in one Of our
street cars called the conductor to him
and said, "Your company prohibits
smoking in these cars, I believer
Eyes sir"
"Then why do you permit that oil
lamp to remain?"
''That lamp only smokes, sor, when
it goes out. "-Chicago Ledger.
RETR1BUT1oN-Young lawyer Ito
client They can't hang you for ,
murder you didn't commit.
Client That's the Judges sentence:
''To be hanged by the neck until I am
dead"
Young lawyer (thoughtfully) An
right; you just 60 ahead and let 'em
hang you, and I'll make 'em sweat fof
it.
FAIR DAUGHTER-Pa, dear, why arr
you so gloomy? Come, cheer up and
talk to your little Dot. Papa dear
Well, dear, if you must know, I think
therel have to be receiver appointed
for my bank soon. F. D.-Why,
that is just too lovely. A receiveri
And why can't you be a dear good
father and appoint me2 Then I would
have to receive, and I coc.d have love.
ly new reception dress; your just the
dearest papa in the world, but you do
love to look gloomy about nothing
Pittsbarg Bulletin.
A DOMESTIC TDYI.
After tho baby came, how changed the placed
The old home frightened with a newer grace;
The roses grew more thickly round the door,
And softer were the sunbeams on the floor;
Full sweeter was the song OF every bird
From that glad day his little voice was heard
Growing and cooling in such queer delight
But there was more walking done at night
After the baby came.
After the baby came it seemed as though
Earth could not be 80 full of grief and woe,
That all the gates Of happiness and bliss
We're opened to US through that baby's kiss.
Master was he of wondrous tricks and arts,
By which he won his way into our hearts,
From that first hour was heard his feeble wall
Yet how barked my shins at midnight pale
After the baby camel
-Rarpers Bazaar.