Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-11-09
Carl Dunder.


Sometimes a man who vhas all
shmiles und scrapes und bows comes
in my place. Vhas l Carl Dunder,
dot stury old wheel-horse who vhas
for right und reform 7 l vhas.. All
right. Mr.. Dunder-
But I knows him on sight. He
like to run for Alderman of dot ward.
Der day before dot he doan' know me
from some sole leather; der day after
he vhas elected he haf no use for de
Dutchman.
Sometimes, when l vhas walking on
der shtreet man shtops me. Why,
bullo' Mr.. Dunder! Why, l vhas
shust thinking Of you! How vha'
Mrs. Dunder, dot handsome und ami
able lady! und how vhas Shake-der
keenest und best boy in Detroit !
Why doan' you como oafer some eaf-
nings NIT your wife und play poker
NIT us! Why. Mr.. Dunder-
But l knew who he vhas. He likes
to run for some Mayor of der city.
Two days pefore dot he doan' let my
dorg run across his door-yard. Two
days after he vhas Mayor he looks
oafer at my place und says: II won-
der vhas old sour-krout keeps dot
ranch ?"
Sometimes vhas in my back yard
cleaning off der ashes, when strang-
er rushes oafer der alley fence, like
some policeman vhas after him.
"Hullo my oldt friendt Carl. how
vhas your Been hunting all oafer
for you for der last three weeks, und
thought we had lost you as citizen
Shake hands, Mister Dunder. Neaf
er mind how dirty your hand vhas-
it vhas der palm of an honest man
Say, Carl, / like to lend in your ap
plication for membership to our club
We like a few high-toned Sherman'
to Join us. Und say, maype you like
a place in der custom-house, eh
You shall haf him. We like to hon
or und reward such ash you. BY del
way, maype Shake"
Dot vhas enough. know dot man
He likes to run for der Legislature
Yesterday he goes by my door und
doan' see me. / vhas sooch shmal
potatoes dot he could shtep right oaf
er me. One day after he vhas dsl
Legislature he squints oop his eye
scratches his ear, und whispers Car
Dunderi Seems like / hear dol
name somewhere. All! Yes. 1,
vhas der name on a canal boat!"
Sometime l vhas alone in my plac,
und Il stranger comes in. Good-day
Mr.. Dunder. Am l right in suppos'
ing dot l vhas in der Office of del
Hon. Carl Dunder, late of Shermany
und der intermatc fricndt of Prime,
Bismarck !? All Glad to hear it Mr.
Dunder, der goferment has instructed
me to call on you und offer you q
place on der Interstate Shteamboa,
Commission. We like to honor del
millions of Shermans in America, unG
you vhas selected above all. ! like
to say further. Mr.. Dunder, dot in
case der Secretary of War tenders hi
resignation you-
Dot vhas all. / read him like q
book. He likes to run for member Of
Congress. | meets him lots of time,
before und he looks right oafer my
head. If l meets him der next day
after he vhas in Congress und try tc
shake hands nit him he draws back.
ut vhas Carl Dunder."
"Dumberi Dumber!"
Eyes, / vhas to be on some shteam.
boat commission, you know"
Duncan? Dumber? Dumit? My
frendt, doan' hear Of you. You
vhas doubtless in some tortchlight pa
rade for me, but 1idn't ! set 'em oor
for you? Go away, Mr.. Dummy, und
let oop a lectle on dot Limburger
cheese"
Und sometimes a man comes in my
place widout any shmiles or bows on
him. Vhas / Carl Dunder? vhas
Say, Mister Dunder, like to run fol
Constable. If you can gif me your
vote l like it. can promise nottings
but try to do my duty und make q
good officer. Und he vhas der only
honest man in all der crowd Free
Press.