The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1887-01-07

uhS holCCo ioou hnnuiy onlb uOWcrSr
Fashionable daughter-"O. certainly
mamma" Fashionable widow-"Hov
very odd. then. for only forty-two EN-
blcms and eighteen boxes of cut flower,
have come. "-N. Y. san.
Caller-"Ah, Is Miss Arabella d.
Wolf at homer" Bridget (meditatively,
'Sure she give me very particular
oriers. She says il Mr.. Brown cali.
I'm not at home; but il Mr.. Smith
comes take him right in, and I'll be
right down. Now, which one arc you
sirp"-Harper's Bazar.
Grocer don't have to crack up thai
butter, Uncle Rastus; it sells itself,
Uncle Rastus Costing iD-Yes, sab, dat
butter oughter sell itsef, tie up itsef,
oliver itsef. eat itsef. an still have
strength nutf lef' ter diges' itsef. Wot
yo' cha gin TO axle-grcasc dis mawnin',
Mister Scales?-M Y Sun.
A small boy surprised his teacher at
ono of the grammar schools yesterday
by asking her how far procession OF
the presidents of the Uuited States
would reach if they were placed in a
row. On her expressing her ignorance
he calmly announced, From Washing
ton to Cleveland. "-Sprinafeid Repu6-
Itcan.
French wits are never tired of throw
ing hot shot at their neighpors across
the channel An EnglishMan thus
writes to q French friend: II am de-
lighted at the recollection of tho pleas
ant hours / have passed with you in
France. II you visit England como at
once to my house-and will direct you
to very good hotel"
YES" said Mr.. Hendricks to the
minister, IL am proud OF that dog.
Why, he knows the different days of the
week." just then the dog began to
run to gun which stood in the corner,
then back to his master, and wag his
tail. "He's made mistake this time.
pa" said Bobby; she thinks it's Sum
day."-Harper's Ba$ar.
He (referring to painting)-'tDon't
you think the introduction of one or two
birds would give you little more life,
Miss Bessie?" She (referring to lunch)
How thoughtful of you, Mr.. Short,
and how delicately you put the invita-
tion!'-(and he had to run her over to
the nearby hotel and order broiled
quail for two. )-Tid-B Bits.
New York mamma-"O. yes, indeed,
Algernon is getting on splenddly on
the stage" Frend-'What did he say
when he wrote last" "You will ex-
cuse the pardonable pride of the dear
boy when tell you he stated he was on
his uppers." ION his uppersp" ''Yes
--er-that isl suppose on the upper
rounds of the ladder of fame. Life.
when n man orders whisky" said
Dumley 10 the bartender, 'do you ask
HIM il he wants 10 or Is cent goods?"
No. I've been in the business long
enough to size man up without asking
questions. p" 81 suppose you do become
moro OF less familiar with human ma
ture," remarked Dumley, as he selected
Glove. "How much do l owe your"
'1en cents, please. IN Y. Sun.
Farmer Jones and his wife came in
to 60 to one of the theatres. They saw
a great many men 60 out after the first
act in which shooting had taken
place. She--Henry, where are you
goin'P He-Gosh, Sarah, stood it as
long as can. Guess I'll 60 back and
see how that Teller is getting on who
was shot. The poor cuss may be dead
by this time, and if he is, this amt no
place for u.s. - Ii6-Bit
OF the 100000 working women in
New York the highest average earning
is 81 week. Numbers earn but $5 q
week. Thousands are unable, with
sixteen hours work every day, to reach
the lower amount.
Diseases, desperate grown, by
desperate appliances are relieved, or
not ALL" The point of wisdom is to
check them before they reach so far
by buying bottle of Salvation Oil.
Price IS cents.
Powderly says "there is no room
in America for the red flag of anar-
chy." This accounts for the opposi-
ton to him in the socialistic assem-
blies.
Senator Stanford is reported to be
DESTROYS of introducing bill to pro.
vide that all immigrants to this
country who arrive after certain
date shall have to reside in this
country ten years before acquiring
the right to vote. Mr.. Stanford
thinks that much mischief is done by
giving the ballot to foreigners before
they have had time to become &C.
quainted with our institutions.
Conspiracies no sooner should be
formed than executed" and cold
should no sooner be taken, than a
bottle of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
should be brought and used accord
ing to the directions.
Boston Journal: 1t is stated in
Washington that Ss5 200, 900 of rev.
enue is collected from the alcohol
consumed in the industrial arts.
Why not be English to the extent of
following England's example, and
lift the burden from hundred useful
industries? Why not, Mr.. Free
IN ~ 4 r.