St. Landry democrat., 1887-08-20

resembles that OF
ripe doughnut in striking degree.
The First King Of other nations has
been dead for several years, and some Of
them even longer, but the First King Of
Siam still lives.
Siam has Second King also, on the
principle that two heads of government
are better than one, suppose.
1t is the only country in the world
where the monarchy business is con-
Quoted by firm consisting of two part
ners.
The full name of the First King of
Siam is Phra Bat Somdetch Phra Para
mindr Maha Chulalon-kron Phra Chula
Chom Klao Yu Hua
In this instance the term "full name"
has wide SUPPLEMENTARY a mile
wide.
When this gentleman signs his name
he seldom has time enough to write it
all. Or if he happens to have time the
supply of paper is sure to become eX-
hausted. So he puts it "Phra Bat (to
be continued).
1t makes Phra Bat, &c, very angry to
ask him, whats in name?"
He thinks you are trying to poke fun
at him.
His visiting card is in two volumes.
each the size of Webster's Dictionary
and when he goes calling he finds ii
necessary to hire an express wagon to
carry his card-case.
kron Luang Devonmonga Varaprakar
wanted his august brother to come with
him, but as only one ship was about to
sail he was obliged to postpone his trip
until two were. coming together or else
leave his name behind him.
He thought at first he would tack it to
the stern of the vessel and let it float in
the water, but he relinquished that idea
for fear it would be mistaken for sea
serpent 600 feet long. Besides, he did
not want 1t to get wet. He has hopes,
however, that some genius will discover
a process of condensing imperial names,
and of putting them into portable shape
for eryday use.
The First King of Siam is also called
1.-The Lord of Life" and it is not etiquette
to smoke cigarettes in his presence, nor
to dig him in the ribs and ask him if the
amount of caloric in the atmosphere is
personally satisfactory.
People who seek the presence of His
Sublime Nibs must crawl and crouch,
with head bowed down, and ''lie as dust
at the sacred feet" as the rules and regu
lations prescribe.
t., otbar words tho SiamaSp r1ncf an
proach their monarch much as an Amer
lean approaches an autOcrat OF the rail
way ticket office to ask about a train.
The First King is not, however, the
supreme despot you might imagine.
He has several hundred wives, and
they fight for the supremacy among
themselves.
Siam occupies the same place on the
map now that it did years ago. 1t pays
its rent promptly, and consequently is
not required to move. 1t is happy
country. No typhoons ever reach its
peaceful strand, neither is the wall of
the baseball umpire heard Throughout its
borders.
There are three ranges of mountains in
Siam, and in the central range is the Phra
Bat, or the Mountain of the Sacred Foot
print OF Buddha.
This is great place for the Buddhists
to go to do their budding.
Siam has three seasons-the wet sea-
son, the dry season and pepper.
1t frequently rains there in the wet
season.
In Siam man can sell his wife to pay
his debts This is different from the
fashion in the United States, where it is
the husband who is often sold, especially
when he has an idea he is marrying a
rich girl.
The punishments are various, extend
ing from bambooing to decapitation.
The latter is the only way'the monarchs
have of getting head of their subjects.
Among the animals of Siam is the
white elephant, so called because he isn't
white at all, but is of creamy-chocolate
color.
Among the productions of Siam are
rice, sugar, hides and twins.
The Siamese variety of the latter is
more popular than the twins of other
nations usually are.
Two of them, Chang and Eng, attained
celebrity by the closeness OF
their companionship.
They became devotedly attached to
each other very earl y in life and stuck to
each other closer than the average va
riety of brother.
Their attachment was money in their
pockets.
The mean temperature of Siam is S23o,
which isn't so mean as some tempera-
lures we have been experiencing in this
country VIM. II. SIvITER.