Bismarck weekly tribune., 1887-05-20
BISMARCK WEEKLY TRIBUNE: FRIDAY, MAY 20. 1887

county instead of sprawling himself all
over three little counties in Arkansas.
Yea, we might go farther and state that he
could purchase 10000 acres of good virgin
soil within the very limits of many of the
towns, and still need a telescope to see the
stakes at the outer edge of the last addi-
ton. ii
The Miles City papers state that out Of
consideration for the ladies the practice of
playing football on the main street of that
town will be discontinued. 1t is under
stood that in the coarse, rough game of
football the grass was all torn up and the
Ladies protested against having the lawn
tennis advantages of the street destroyed
AN exchange states that corner lots in
Ft. Benton are being held at $1,000. Why
don't they try $500, or $3.50, or say $l25, and
perhaps they won't be held so long, We
know men in Bismarck who have held
their lots. s.at $5, 900 and $4,000 and kept on
holding until their arms gave out and the
back over the tail-b0ard and be tramped on
by the procession. .. - ......-.- 5..-
A APENNSYLvANIAp paper announces that
a prominent editor of that state ssworked
out his poll tax this year, handling the
shovel with remarkable skill" OF course.
Once in while man strikes his gait, and
judging from the display of talent in many
of our eastern exchanges we are willing to
bet money that the average eastern editor
not only knows how to work on the streets,
but that he learned the newspaper bust
ness with hay press and pig pen.
A NEW code is being prepared to govern
the action of the United States consul in
Morocco. We suppose that this is brought
about by the experiences in Mexico and
that the new rules prohibit the drinking of
more than one kind of liquor in one even
ing and compel the consul to withdraw
from the bar as soon as he feels like sing
ing "zhe Mornin' by hic-Bright Light
II know nothing that conveys a vivider
idea of inexhaustible abundance than
fried goose egg," says W. D. Howells in
the Youths Companion. Waving all dis
cussion on that word ''vivider" we would
ask Mr.. Howells if he ever tackled a raw
wind. or visited bee hive when Mr.. and
Mrs. Bee and the family were at home
The most vivid idea of ineXhaustible abun-
dance that we have encountered is con-
veyed by the first OF the month.
A ST. PAUL paper, in speaking of trou-
BILE in a southern church, asks: "Shall a
minister be excluded from society because
of his skin?' We will admit that we are
a little ignol ant as to the merits of the par
ticular case under discussion, but if the
minister is depending on his skin to give
| him position in society; if he is trying to
get into the cOtilliOn club on the mere
strength of his skin; if he thinks he can
rv,v rIrh into fD,,
in the German while dressed purely and
simply, in his smooth dude-fitting skin, we
and cry out :.'Yesr' until it echoes back
from the blushing hills. When it gets down
to a question as to whether skin or broad
cloth shall be admitted into society, broad
| cloth has walk-away.
"JIM," said Jack Litter, with tears in his
eyes and an expression of repentance on
his hardened face, "Im going to throw
| away the jimmy and the dark lantern and
join the church."
"Naw, you don't mean itv' exclaimed
Jim. with mingled surprise and contempt.
"What you want to do that fur?"
"Pll tell ye, Jim,' replied Jack. with
deepened pathos, 81 see by the paper that
they've bought new silver communion
| service worth $3.50, and this is more than
we can find in weeks hard work if we
depend upon our ability to break into
buildings without bein' killed. You see,
In our business, like all others, the conf
dence of the people is on par with stock
in trade"
THE following item from our corres-
pondent at Prairie Blast reminds us of a
recent occurrence in Bismarck:
"At the meeting OF the delegates of the
National VQctQr1QU IN
eide upon location for the society's COL
lege, Prairie Blast would have stood a
much better show to secure the college had
it not been that City Justice Skinflint re-
fused to release Captain Dandy from the
county, Jail. Captain Dandy was depu-
tion and had all the facts arranged in the
most convincing form, but unfortunately
| he stole horse and broke into the bank
and thus gave Justice Skinf1int an oppOr-
tunity to lock him up and rob the town Of
his valuable services before the religious
commission: There is one consolation
Skinf1int will come before the people for
| reelection in few weeks and he will dis
! cover that his ingratitude and lack of pub
lie spirit will be remembered.
GENERAL SHERIDAN is hoodooed by the
press, and in the language of the immortal
Hannifin, he will have to paint them red to
to remove the hoodoo. While correcting
one error in his war of words with Rosser,
the Minneapolis Tribune makes him say:
"Now, if you will move the semi-colon af-
ter the word captured and place it after
the word had you will relieve General
Rosser of the charge Of having captured
guns from US at any time, at least when l
was armed" In other words, when the
| general didn't have his gun with him Ros-
ser may have captured every gun in sight.
What the general wrote was "at least.
when 1 was around" and not "armed."
We have been called home without reading
just Sheridan's luck to have it appear that
he saidthat no guns were captured from the
union forces. at least when he was behind