The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-10
BRIGHT BITS.

A MAN may he behind in his work and still
show push. This is if he is wheeling bar
row. YO'tteTs Statesman
He (before the wedding)-You are sure you
won't be nervous at the altar?
She -four times a widOw)-I never have been
yet.-ChrtstidH Union.
You've WIFE, took great pains with the salad
we had for dinner. Robert.
Robert rubbing his "embonpoint" ruefully)-
ana so did l, my dear.-ArkdHsds Life
READING, PA. has as many breweries to the
square foot as any town in the country. So that
Bacon was right when he said that Reading
makes full man. N-Drdke's Magazine.
AMERICAN TOURISTS meet in the city of Mexi-
co-"Hello, Jones, I'm delighted to see you.
Come out and see the bull tight. with me-
Jones-Not much. I'm just from Wall street.
Huntington Free Press
LAwYER-Your uncle makes you his sole heir,
but the will stipulates that the sum of 500 must
be buried with him.
Heir tfeeingly)-The old man was eccentric,
but his wishes must be respected, of course. I'll
write check for the amount.--NelU York Sun.
MEDUM-Are there any here who would like
TO be put in communication with departed
spiritsl
Topper IAN accidental intruder)-Yes. Just put
me in communication with the demijohn some
body walked off with last night while l was
asleep on the Common.-BOston Budget
RogINsoS-What was the amount of your doc
tors bill, Duniley:
Dumiey-l paid him $500
Robinson-3200, That's too much
DuQley-He saved my life, you know.
Roblnson-Yes, know he saved your life
But $500 Dumley! That's too much.-Nelo
York Sun.
NOTHING causes the Nebraska farmer more
disnay than to return from town after spend
ing few hours there and find that his farm
has been converted into a thriving city, with
street cars and electric lights, during his alb
sence. But such things will occur now and
then, and should be regarded with comparative
calInness.-Ne6rdskG state Journal.
Mrs. PoMPANo-Heard about the row at Bag
ley's house?
Pompano-No; what was it ? The Sheriff
Mrs. commandments, Mr., Bagley kicked
out three suitOrS in night.
Pompano (eXcitedyl- Kicked out three. Good
heavens, woman, where were you that you
didn' catch one of them for Amelia9 Another
miner's bill like the last and I'll lasso the first
man meet and make him marry her.-PhiLa-
deiDtiG can.
Uses OF ANARCHY.-Omaha Man-Hello! You
must have made ten strike somewhere. Dia-
mondS. ehy
Chicago man-Yes I've done first rate lately.
/ joined the Anarchist society.
What good did that do your"
Gave me chance to make money, and
made t-piles of it."
We'll, well! Don't see how"
Being member, l was able to get privileges
you know
what sortY''
Il secured the privilege of the beer stand at
the Bread or Blood picnic ''-ODtuhd World
FIRST BURGIAR-How yer comm on Bill?
Second Burglar-Bully. Me, an Jake an
Nike, an a lot of others has agreed ter work to-
| gether an divide the swag between us.
| Robin banbs:''
NO that's too risky. Robin houses, but
| not in the old way. We're gon to take only a
| little at time from each house so the people
| won't suspect we're robbing EN- until we KIN
| retire"
| Il see. What do you call y'r copartnership.
| the forty thieves" er the cut-throat gang er
| WHAT"
I'VE call it The Other Peoples Property
| Trust. '"-ODdAG World.
OUR little 3-year old is very fond of oranges
| One day when he had eaten large one he came
| to mamma and wanted more. How many are
| there III the dsh!H asked mamma
| He counted them. Just three, ." he said
| Very well, was the reply, there is one for
| papa, and one for mamma and one for yoI.
| You can have one He ate il and wanted an
| other
How many are left?'' said mamma
| Just two, he replied, 'one for papa and one
| for me-
But where is mine?'' said the astonished
| mother.
Oh" he replied quickly, I've eaten it,
| Babyho0d.