Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-06-25
A MODEL coLoRED WEDDING.
Parson Widemoufs Peeulisr Manner Of
Tying the Knot.

Parson Widemouf marry Parhashr
Hazelnut and Miss Creamertart.
Sponge, colored. The parson ao
vance to the candidates. In h
hands the matrimonial ceremon
was something more than adonfio
OF hackneyed forms; il was the di,
charging of an obligation which nc
only justified, but demanded n fail
erly familiarity and painstaking re
search. Upon this, as upon many
similar occasion, his incisive geniu
robed the cold conventioualities
nd at the end Of the ceremony mad
the bride and the groom intimatel,
acquainted with the character of eacl
other. - N''S'
Addressing his attention Tn,
groom, the parson unceremoniousl,
began:
Parhashus! Does yo' take Cream
ertarter to be yo' welded wife?
III Gle laws 'greable, yes sab was
the answer.
Am yer 'vised, Parhashus, dat shs
plays de c0ncertina whilst her mud.
der plays de washboard.
i heard so, parson, but yo' kyan't
blame de gal for habbin' mo 'lu6 for
moosic dan for soapsuds.
Co'se not, Parhashus, but am yer
war OBJ de fac dat she'm member
ob de Crow Holler Debatin' s'cietv
an de krischin ,Wimmin's Go's-yer-
plese Franternity?
is hearn rOomers er de same. mar
son, but rs chowder mem'er OBJ de
keyhole Refo'm club myself. an,
dem little ippysodes hain't scar'in'
me a bit.
But locker yer, Parhashus, Is yer
,quainted wild de geolergy ob be fam
ly ''nough to know dat all her aunt's
sisters on her mudder's side manage
ter scot fouror five husban's froo dis
vale er tears befo' dey fotch ND wild
DER own allyby?
l Is, parson. / got dem fac's in
Creamertarter's stiffycat er h'elt.
An nebbersoebber darfo' widout
any fear of convulsions er de secon,
part yo' take dis 'ooman to- yer
spous', hoping dat she'll tu'r out bet
ter dan de skedyule, but prayin', all
do same, dat ef she tu'ns ont Wus dat
de Lawd III glib y0 strenk ter bar de
calamus?
l does, parson, per bonum publicus,
as de constitution OBJ de United
States say.
The parson, turning aside, was
heard to murmur: My, my! Eff / |
was a mason an quired san'ter buil' /
q church I'd go ter Parhashus. Then
stopping q moment to adjust his
spectacles for a new trip down their
natural tobeggon slide, addressed
to the expectant bride:
Creamertartar, said he, does yo'
axe Parhashus ter be yo' welded
lusban'?
! does, parson, she replied.
Ter ,hab an ter hol' de same not
de fac' dat ef he TUX dat
Wig orr yO'd git de notion yo' wuz
a aigplant?
Notstandin' dat, parson, was the
esponse.
An eff yo' knowed detrufe dat Par
lashus had been dat egcentrik in his ,
lie dat 'bout-de only place hem lier-
lie ter sing Home, Sweet Home in, /
m de county Jail, would dat turn ,
'ou fOm de paff er matermony? {
Reckon not, parson. II
But see yer, Creamertartar-With !
lmost sensational emphasis-am yO' !
Ormed er Parhashus habin' wife I
n TO- chillens down in Pensycoly +? v
III? Tell me datl I
I nnyar haorp daf ,,ox,ox> x A,
eply, with jus a shadow of perturba. a
on-but ef his family zerts In dat /,
way haint it mo de duty of or Kris G
hin ter soove de po sufrer? RI
Mebbe yO right, Creamertarter. 81
i'd the master of ceremonies, with "
somewhat dubious shake of the T
cad, mebbe yO right, but lemme AK Il
Oh dis: Does yo know dat Parhas- 81
ashus haint very screwblous bout ri
hose henroos he picks his poultry "
ON?
! does, parson, came with no little
'omptness, but aller lowed dat eff
ebber TUX a husban I'd keep um
'e open 70 good perwider. O.
With just the least show of disgust y
e parson continued: An notstand- D'
de fosaid, bein SCUM in min and 81
lowin de certantis eff life, yo takes 81
irhashus ter be yo loful podner. 70 M
tier an wusser, share and share sc
re, till def parts one or de udder OBJ pt
n? /
Dems my sentemens, parson, was
e answer.
Den, said the parson, as he inter-
,ked their hands and drew hack to
old the shock of the kiss he saw | I !,
EN- preparing for, den, said he, / lei
yer man and wife. an II,
rs say, arter all de chances Ise cub m
r, dat yo am two er de biggest fools be
I de plow er my sperience has tn
Der turnd out defurrers oh human tr,
tur.-- Wade Whipple, In It'd Bits, fiy
---- III
turn back O Time !, Won, in
flight jour
Make me child aeafn inst fox a., -.