Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-05-12
FACT AND FANCY.

Florida merchants are already shipping
large quantities OF now potatoes to northern
markets.
Wedding cake has been imported from Lon
Ion for marriage to take place In New Yorl
next week.
A shrewd observer has learned that old
maids love no kiss and fondle cats because
they have whiskers.
A hospital to he devoted entirely to thu
treatment of diphtheria is projected by thu
medical men Of New York city.
There has been n sudden rise In bricks II
San Francisco from $3.50 to 50 per 1000, ant
Cue price is expected to go higher.
A brother who stammers arose in his prayer
meeting and said: ''You know-I can moi
t-ttalk, but-Goi can bless t-t-tears."
| A character In, one OF Mr.. Cables latest
books is made to remark that he will progress
| lorwardly with rapiditive celeritude."
A negro brought a trout into Valdosta, Gs.,
from Indian pond several days ago which
weighed twelve pounds aud eight ounces.
Pastor-Well, What did you young people
realize at your entertainments Member of the
Committce-We have just realized that we are
SIS out.
An English surgeon is authority for the
statement that the use Of rocking chairs is
one of the causes of peoples deafness and
nearsghtedness.
| Arrangements are being made by the Ma
sonic fraternity Of California for an excursion
to the Hawaiian Islands, to sail on the steam
err Australia, May "A.
SoTowful Child to the Pastor-Mr. B.,
mother sent me to tell you that father is dead.
Pastor--ls hel Did you call a doctorl Child
No, sir; he just died himself
| The members OF family in McDuflie coun-
ty, Georgia, bear the following names: Len
ty Edney, Adney Detney, Elkey Betney, NAL
chy Ebney and Zebedce Redley.
Mrs. Jones'" said the pastor, II hope YOU
are observing Lent" 'Oh, yes" was the ami
mated reply, 81 am denying myself of all world
y pleasures l have even given up going to
church."
Young lnnocence-Papa, what did the min.
lister mean to-day when he said that the race
for gold was turning men from Christ! Wise
Papa-That he would go to another church
unless we raised his salary
''On next Sunday" said Father Mcguire to
his congregation, 1.-The funeral of A. B. will be
held in this church. l shall preach funeral
sermon on the occasion, and the man himself
will be herc-the first time in twenty years"
| In order to test his clerks honesty, Phia-
| iclphia storekeeper occasionally left 81 bills
| lying about at night The other morning the
merchant went to 10 ok for one of the bills and
| found 1t nailed to the floor with half a dozen
| spikes. Hereafter the storekeeper will keep
| his money In his pockets or in the till.
1t is related in Buffalo, N. Y, that faith
full workman who had injured his hand while
engaged in extra dangerous work was having
| it attended to by surgeon when the foreman
| hurried in and said: "Sam what time was it
when you got hurtt" "About O'Clock. Why
do you ask" $50 I may know when to dock
YOU"
Little Nell-I'm awful sorry for poor nursc.
Mamma-Why, pet, your nurse looks well and
| happy. "But the angles won't never know
| how good she Is and maybe they'll make
mistake an let her go to the bad place"
Mercy mel What put that into Your little
headf' "Why, she says all her prayers in
! French"
| Clergymen are called upon for odd services
sometimes. A lady uptown consulted her
pastor the other day upon the troubles she
had in her kitchen. lie said in reply that he
thought there would be better feeling between
mistress and maid If they prayed for one an
other more. "a am willing to be prayed for"
said the lady, ''but not to be preyed upon"
San Francisco statistican demonstrates
that $4,000 pounds Of opium are smuggled
| into the Pacific slope every year, entailng a
| lOsss of duties to the government of over 3d.
| 10000 year. AS each Chinaman in Ca'ifor-
mia smokes four pounds of the drug annually,
| it is probable that a large amount of this
struggled opium must be charged to that
| race.
little over three weeks ago Andrew Jack
son, of Springfield, o., set hen with fifteen
eggs, and last Monday the hen came off the
nest with seventeen chicks. Two OF the eggs
| produced two chicks each, and from one of
these doubles came two strong though small
chicks of different species One was buff
cochin and the other a Plymouth rock, and
both clearly marked.
American laborers do well in not going to
the 1sthmus of Panama TO work on the canal,
according to the American consul at that
place. Contrary to report there are large
numbers of unemployed men there who are
unable to secure work, aud laborers who fall
sick are promptly discharged by the contrac-
tors. There is a hospital in the locality, but
it charges 50 day for patients.
A curious fact developed by the Railway
mystery is thar there are large number of
young women missing from their homes both
| in the yirnity Of Nav Ynrly nitv apl in Maui
Jersey under suspicious circumstances. Moth.
Ing has been left undone by the police to dis
cover the whereabouts of the missing maidens,
but 1t seems their efforts have been as fruit
less as those made in the Railway matter.
A writer on the subject of physical training
for girls, In The British Medical Journal, saws
that for schoolgirls he woulI have at least
two half holidays a week devoted to games
played in large space In the open air. Among
the exercises he would have practiced are
swimming, fencing, cricket, ot-ball, fves
and tennis AMI such games Of speed aud en-
durance as prisoners base, cross-touch, etc.
"IlOw are the Easter preparations getting
alongl" inquired a devoted Sunday school
superintendent Of one Of his teachers. "Oh,
beautifully. There will be some lovely costumes
In church, and the bonnets and hats, oh, Inv !''
"You don't understand. ! mean our Easter
entertainment" why, Of course. How
stupid Of me. think my class will be able
TO read q few selections from scripture by that
time.
In Washington few days ago little girl,
hearing her mother speak of some friend as
belonging to the Christian church (the one
which Gen. Garfield attended), eagerly in
quired: Don't we belong to that church
mammaf' No, dear, we are Episcopalans, y
was the unthinking answer. With troub
led look the little one beaved long sigh as
she calculated. ooh dear, / did hope we
were Christians.
The demand for the skins OF the ouagga
the wild striped ass, native of South Africa
has caused its eXtirpation in places it was &C.
customed 10 frequent Only ten or twelve
years ago they were plentiful but the Beers,
tempted by the high prices offered by the Lon
don and New York firms for their skins, tc
convert into leather for making a particular
class Of boots, will soon cause the quagga t.
pass away out OF zoology
A little Washington girl was interviewing
the preacher. "An't God good," she asked
| aarpaetIv onuraa ua IL ,ny obiIJ