The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1887-06-07
THE DAILY NEWS
DRUNK, BUT NOT STAGGERING.
A No Legged Man Spree In New
York CitX=Harti In H..ndIf.-

A No Legged siaa on Spree In New
York Cfty-Hara to Handle.
A queer fragment of man, the largest
of three pieces raiSed out of the wreck Of
freight train on Jersey railroad, il
sometimes seen making slow progress
along one of the cast side avenues. The
legs of him are buried somewhere in
Jersey, having been cut off above the
knees, and he uses his hands for feet and
his arms for legs. raising himself from
the ground on both hands and swinging
upon his stumps. lie says he was in the
army, and that his legs were shot away
by rebel cannon ball at Gettysburg.
One Of these days he expects to get a
pension. The saloon keepers in his
neighborhood all know him, and they
would rather give him a drink than hear
him describe the battle of Gettysburg,
with his own heroism in keeping up fire
with his nusket after he lost his legs.
There being SO little Of him to absorb the
alcohol, he sometimes gets pretty drunk
on II few drinks. But he can't stagger,
and he has no use for lamp posts. There
ii no .'reeling, rolling home, boys" in
his. When he feels so good that he must
whoop 'er up he just yells.
The Last time he got on a spree he
planted himself on corner and howled
until he woke up all the policemen in
the precinct. They thought Buffalo
Bills Indians had dug up Steele Mack
ayes property Ratchet that was solemnly
buried in the middle of circus ring and
started war dance When three police
mon reached the scene of revelry the
man without any legs was waving his
arms wildly and daring the whole world
to- come ON. About twenty people were
grouped around him, and, as there were
no loose bricks or other missiles within
reach, nobody was afraid. He shouted,
sang, defied the universe and when he
was not waving his fists above his head
he put his hands upon the ground and
bumped himself up and down energet-
icaiIy. He called that dancing. Once
in q while he would charge ON the crowd
with whoop. swinging himself along
rapi .ly. and heap insults and sarcasm
upon the people who lodged out of his
way. Although he was only about two
thirds of a man. he made more noise
than three whole men.
Two of the officers tried to persuade
him to go home. but he stood upon his
rights rs n citizen. and his stumps as
fragments of humanity, and refused to
bulge. Then they took him by the col
lar, and he wound his arms about their
knees and laid them sprawling upon the
sidewalk. With n hand npon tine ground
ON each side of one of the PROSTATE police
men the legless roisterer hoisted himself
as high as he could and let himself drop
ON the policeman's lacl. like pile driver,
eXpeiiines a roar from him and amusing
the crowd. The three policemen tried
several ways of Juggling the abbreviated
inebriatc. and finally adopted wheelb;.r-
row. He stood in the vehicle and bel
lowed all the way to the station, and in
the morning he explained that he acted
that way because he couldn't get any sat
isfaetion out of spree otherwise. If he
only had some legs to stagger with, he
would be Us quiet and peaceable as a
drunken dude, but if n man couldn't
staggcr and go see saving all over a side
walk he must work off the liquor some
other way.-New York Cor. Chicago Her
aid