The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1887-08-25
The Evils OF Gift Giving.

Sham and show, perplexlty. annoy
ance and extravaganza have crept into
the customs of gift giving. Though
one NAV make gift out OF the depth
of the heart. and do it becomingly and
unassumingly, vet it seems as if a
lozen influences were bearing on him
. force him into greater expense than
be can afford. or to give where he is
reluctant to do SO, or where he must
make a show of the article given.
Quiet, unostentatlous, spontaneous
giving shines brightly, when we find it,
amid the dreary heartlessness, the
gaudy show and the heartburnings that
often accompany the formal giving that
is part of social life.
The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all problems, even outrank-
ing the common, .'what shall / wear"
then is, What present shall | send"
1t is not enough to 90 and participate
in the social duties and to be cordial
in well wishing and congratulation,
for none of this will pardon the neglect
or oversight of the gift. There will be
the question, Where is Mrs. Jackson's
present, and then the unpleasant
comment, if she has made none.
So Mrs. Jackson sets out to find
some compromise between pride and
purse, perhaps poverty, something
that costs no more than absolutely
| compulsory and yet looks as if it were
worth a great deal more, something
that the other guests will not look at
81 ,,bt crl1r IF cnnol of tam tafr
ously, or at least think of in the same
spirit.
And then the guests compare these
proxies of themselves and put them
selves on exhibition, after a fashion,
but in the same way that they would
do, if they were to stand up before a
| committee of critics and have the style
and elegance of their clothing passed
upon. The show is at last over, but
the jealousies and heartburnings re-
main, the fear that responsibility has
been endangered by the insignificance
of the gift, or the overlapping conscious
ness of few that they each made the
best of one of the best presents of the
lot.
Afterwards, as is more or less the
custom in some parts Of the country,
the names of the donors and a brief
description of their gifts, appear in
some newspaper, there to undergo fur
Their comparison and criticism and all
the train of Accomplishments. Finally,
if the present was valuable enough, it
may find its way to shop where
duplicate presents are bought and
sold, so little did the receiver care
ohn,,+ ha li+x- Of Tho friyro
of such little use is it to the recipient
among several other presents of the
same kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, if
they are short of that. Gifts are by
no means always the token of friend
ship and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made to accom-
pany them. they are demoralizing, they
are unpleasant features Of what take
the form of duties, and they are dark
spots in social life.
Something is wrong when a present
is made test of social standing, OF
when it is the prerequisite of perform
ING a social act There is an oppor.
tunity for reform, when what is appar.
emily a friendly deed, is confessedly
empty of honest intent, when it is
burdensome, annoying, compulsory,
false-hearted, or made for show, or
evidence OF wealth or merely for social
conformity.
The only excuse that one can make
for these abuses OF gift making. is thai
their compulsory features have the
effect of putting people into the habit OF
making presents at time when
their friendly feelings have not become
strong to prompt the act unaided.
With the growth of these feelings, the
custom gradually gets a better anC
surer foundation and stands more
plainly in harmony with civilization
A gift should be an embodiment Of
sentiment, from which cost should be
totally divorced as an element of
weight, and with which no social com.
pulsion should be linked. except the
compulsion of spontaneous expression
of feelings. The world is not good
enough for this yet, but some attempt,
| if only feeble one, if general enough,
would be a green oasis IN the social
desert.-Good Housekeeping.