Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-02
BRIGHT BITS.

hUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHRR-Now, can any
little boy tell me what Easter is celebrated
for?
Good Little Boy (eagerly)-Eggs.-Pt
6W'g DtsDatch.
II SAY, cd man, you know Miss Greene
very well. Does size keep Lent"
Keep II! Why, my dear Fellow. she's
most notorious gossip. She never keeps any
tnlng; she gives everything away. "-Hdrper'S
BasGr.
"EPHRA'M. does de good book say dat we
are made Oh de dust?'
Yes, Angus us. yes, sab; and dat we must
return 10 de dust"
"Y an! yah! YAH Is dat so! Well. den,
guess II must be coal dust."-HdrDer'S Bdsdr.
AN advertisement in Boston paper states
that an active servant Is wan ed "whO must
be plain COOK, and able to dress little boy
i've years DID," Are the advertisers cannibalsH
And 1--WE ask for lnformaJlOn) with what
sauce Go they eat little boys five years Old:
-ItDdS StfttRgS.
ELDERLY WASHER Crying to scrape an &C
qualnCance) Charming day, madame.
Travelling alone? Lady (vivacIousiyl-Oh,
no, Pm going down TO Newport 10 be ried
Tor blgamy. Those two gentlemen in the front
ty sherlfs, and my two husbands are in the
smoking ca,-Td-BttS.
GERMAN professors are proverbialy absent
minded, but none of them more so than p OF.
Dusel, OF Bonn. He noticed one day his wife
placing large bouquet on his desk. What
does this meanT' he asked. "Nhy, this Is the
anniversary Of your marriage" replied Mrs.
Dusei. "Ach, is that SOP Veil, let me know
when yours comes around and III reciprO-
cate. "-IeGlS SiJlinDS.
II WANT to give you something to replace
the stove 10 the passenger cars he sad to
the dlgnItied president of railroad run
mug out of TOiedo.
"Weli SIR" was the stiff reply.
wei, sir, rode from Chicago to Indian
- Tho. ttNav. .4u 4.
the thermometer at zero, and | never suf-
fered bit. Neither did the girl. We had
our arms round each other. Try it, old
Wall Str Get Nef0s.
LITTLE ROBBIE, aged 3, has a very indul-
gent grandma, but sne Gun be firm " hen firm
ness is needed. The little fellow had been
having some candy; he asked for more. NO"
SAID che, you have had enOugh.' lie begged :,
but che WAS lntieXb BILE At last he rushed TO
the front window threw aside the lace cur
JaIns, lifted his eyes heavenward. and AID,
beseechlngly: bod, please put 1t into the
heart OF this lady to give me some more can
| dy."-obOe and Leather Exporter.
~ TELL YOU" said passenger on the @.
Il u. X. II 10 Il person in the next seat, the
railroad companies are guilty Of murder in
keeping coal stoves in their cars, and thus inn
perilng the lives of hundreds OF men. women
and children. The fatal stove should be
abollsh-Brrrr" he suddenly shlvered, look
Ing around and turning up his collar; say
conductor, this car is 40 cold as an ice house
Do you want to freeze us to death? Why in
the dickens don't you stir up your fire and
give us some more heat?'-NOrriStoacn Herald
Bogus VETERAN-Wlll you be kind enough
| to tell me II IL is fact that the President
has vetoed the pension bill!
Conference.-The has.
We'll, II this country gets into another
war, just count me out. FL never risk my
life again in the service of my country"
''Were you hurt during the war;"
''Indeed was"
"Wnat regiment were you INF"
81 wasn't IN any regiment. | got the rheu-
matlsm from bathing in the st. Lawrence
river during the second day of the battle of
GETTYSBURG. All, sir, those were the times
that tried mems souls. haven't got a sur
plus dime for an old vet, have you?"- Ttsas
Stftings.
AM" said the stranger, "this is a strange
country. There are all sorts OF PEOPLE here
and it shows how wild ami marked are the
vicsstudes of fate"
"Yes," said the Californian, ''people rise
and fall here. 1 knew an English Baronet
who drove hack"
Dear me! You don't tell mer'
Eyes, and | know German Baron who
keeps a bootblack stand"
"It's incredible! But look up there. That
is the most curious thing l ever saw" And
which bore the legend, Peter Simple, r. X.
5 >" and underneath, "Oysters." BLESS INV
soul! Bless my soul. A iellow of the ROYAL
society keeping an oyster salOOnn'
"Well, no, that hardly 50 strange, 81 K
S. doesn't mean Fellow of the ROYAL Society.
it means Fried. Roasted and stewed Sir,
rrdaciSc9 ChrOaicIe.