Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-11-05
INSIDE FACTS.
oARNRRED EERE. THERE AND
EVERYWHERE.
A Poem TO the Afflicted The Low Price
Of Beef The Whispering Society
A st. Louis Girl Etc.

that there are twenty-four victims to
matrimonial pursuasions on the so.
ciaI hook of GAINESVILLE for this win
ter, have taken time by the fore
lock and now dedicate the following
poem to these misery-seeking people:
"when the babe begins to cry,
And us papa heaycs sigh,
Then lac understands lust why
lie siogs, Root hcg or die"
""hen The babe begins to cry,
And rs mouth gets sour and wry,
Then It's ma will shut her eye
And sing lIo.'s that for highHp
There was ge ulne st. louis girl
in te"sil this week. She tried every
way to keep me from identifying
her, but she was going over Gupton 5
hill ahead Of me and / saw the frag-
ments Of may bugs hanging to her
shoes. Her feet were SO large that
she could not miss the helpless in
sects that happened to be on the side
walks, and grassheppers were par
ticularly unfortunate as she pass ed
by. ] always sympathise with st.
Louis girls when they mingle with
our home young ladies, for know
they are ashamed of their feet.
The religious revivals that have
been going on in GAINESVILLE in OBJ
position to the dancing school failed
to materialize as some of the enthusi-
asts hoped they would. | expect
that Christmas is little too close for
the boys and girls to take much stock
In religion. The preachers could
make better records about the 10th of
next January because of the fact that
the young men will all be suffering
with swelled heads and sorry because
they had been a little boisterous dur
ing the holidays. It's always a good
time to get people in the religious
mood when they are on the stool of
#*#
Now that the heavy frosty morn
ings have placed the pestiferous fly
in his little bed for the winter, the
good people of the country will be
compelled to put up with hair in the
butter. This is an advantage for
consumers of the product of the
creamery from the fact that hairs
are generally longer than flies and
an be found easier. Besides hairs
are variagated, some being long,
slick and black, some red, and some
are short and kinky, but the eater
can take choice. So far as am con-
cerned use the butter knife skillful
ly by slicing around the hairs and
leaving them in the butter: Buck
wheat cakes will soon come in fashion
and then butter will rapidly disap.
pear unless the people become too
fastidious to eat it for fear of coming
in contact with 81 asserted bunch of
hair. fN4't 4
One Of the members Of the Clarks-
vile Whispering Society calls me an
"old grizzly caves dropper," because
she evidently thought should have
been saying my prayers instead of
listening to what the Association had
to report at recent church service.
Now, I can stand almost any name
that people want to call me, but I
am determined not to be interrupted
in my religious devotions by a party
Of giddy, bew;tching young girls be-
hind me whispering all the time. I
am on to these girls racket and am
going to tell on them every time
they whisper in church. Another
thing: Iheaad two membersof this
Association say they were going to
flirt their old sweethearts, and If any
more messages about my being a
grizzly old caves dropper are re-
ported, am going to tell these
young men about the plot against
them.
~
The extreme low price of fresh
beef in the GAINESVILLE markets for
the past two weeks has been bless
ing to consumers but death to farm
ers and butchers. The poor cows
that, have been slaughtered had no
grass to eat and their owners declined
10 give them corn, consequently they
were murdered because they were
i got hold of a piece OF this
cheap beef the other day and nailed |
one end of 1t to telephone post and |
took tother end in my mouth and |
walked clear around square before
the tough old stuff broke. When II