davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

-"Well, but if you can't bear her.
whatever made you proposeP' "Well.
we had danced three dances, and
couldn't think of anything else to say"
London Punch.
1t may be that Caesar was right
when he declared that "all Gaul is di-
vided into three parts" but we GER
tainly know some men who seem to
have got it all, and undivided.
Variety is the spice of life, but yet
every man who wears patched pants
wants the patch put on precisely the
same color, and put on SO neatly that
it will not show.-Philadelph Herald.
Physician, heal myself" ocular
ly said rich man to the doctor as he
came into his Office. '.Th anks; that is
what I propose to do" replied the doc
tor, presenting bill for 5000. He
went out well heeled.
-"Big fire, was itP'' eyes, Joe
Fifteen persons barely escaped with
their lives" ''That wasn't remarka.
ble.' whats the reason it wasn'tp'
''If they had escaped without their
lives it would have been remarkable.
One of the clerks at Brentano's is
madly in love and very jealous. Yes
terday one of his rivals came in to buy
book. "Iwant 'She,'" he said, care
lessly, looking over pile of Harpers'
publications. "Well, you can't get
her," replied the clerk, savagely, and
then he took second thought and
apologized.
What is the origin of the custom
of throwing an old shoe after the de-
parting bride and groomP" Ethel
wants to know. We dom know, Ethel,
unless it is some barbarous suggestion
of shoe aside, in which case it is un-
doubtedly the invention of some miser-
able, heartless, dried up old mummy of
a bachelor.-Burdette.
Little Tommy was taken to see the
Stewart collection of paintings and
stood for long time in front of
Gerome's ''Gladiator. At length he
said: Mamma, which one is Simonp'
''Why, what do you mean, child; there
is no Simon there" Eyes, there is;
don't you see he's just said thumbs
down. I think the picture would
have been great deal prettier if he
had said thumbs wiggle-waggle. %
~ Y. Independent
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

assists me, and the necessary ma
al Now, at last, it is finished, and
usn may fall into the fault of all
onsors, consider it the best rife
sung being without the disadvan-
os VI other machine rifles, and with
ny advantages over them. I can
,se oy my Austrian and German pa
us OF some five years ago that tho
gnt pull system which distin-
Fsnes every modern rifle, and in it.
T. without the machine, secures the
Iuole effect, has been my invention.
pom this and upon other appropria-
pas IN the same line by different sue
ss1ui inventors I do not lay any stress.
lele Is my new rife, which, in short,
: the following advantages: 1t can
USED as a single-loader, even with
attached magazine; the cartridges
e not thrown into the magazine in a
pse form, but lie one above the other,
tnout the possibility of placing them
Fongly; the magazine can be attached
not at will; all parts are solid; no
eral spring exists in the rifle; the
pee OF my weapon, with royalty and
cry thing else, will be under two
|unds. Every old system, with the
feptlon OF Werndrs, can be used for
fnsformation into my rifle, at a cost
|elght or ten shillings-less in the
Pc OF Gras, Mauser, Berdan or Beau
Pnt' and something more in the case
the Henry-Martini."
And how can you make any inven-
p, especially such a complicated one
rifle, without, unfortunately, be-
able to see the separate parts, and
" are your devices carried out by the
|rkmane"
1 see with my fingers, and not in
E single case have they deceived me.
really curious that when great or
nute measurements are in question,
Use who see with their eyes are
Png, and ], with the use of my
sers, am right. The models for my
chimes against oxidation of metals
= entirely. made by myself from
Ved wood, with the help of string,
and bread crumb. am now de-
hg very complicat ed electric APP
htus. Vienna Cor. London Stand
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
Variety in Meals.
1zSiHe.

Some housekeepers, and wise ones
too, are under the impression that it
takes more time to prepare a variety of
appetizing food than to cook and serve
the same bill of fare 200 or more times
a year. but this is not SO. Amy house
keeper who will devote, say even one
hour every morning to the considera-
ton of the days needs and the supply
on hand, with reference to having as
much of change as possible from the
meals of the day before will be per-
fectly surprised to find how easy it is
to achieve that end. There is no one
article of food, unless it be tea or
coffee, that can not be cooked more
ways than one, and nearly every kind
of vegetable grown can be prepared
for the table in from two to six differ
emit ways. The same San be said of
meat, fish and oysters DetroH Tn
bxne.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

sIsongs TO the. xitl1er,, as's.swisnm wild
'joddling" choruses, and only late
regained their valley home. assA s
A few weeks later winter set in,
with unusual violence of storm and
rain. and brought dire misfortune
to Elsa. Her grandfather was con-
fined to bed with rheumatism, and the
river rising suddenly in the night, and
flooding the valley, carried off their
crops, and drowned the two cows, their
chief support The damp and anxiety
made the old man so i'll. that Elsa be-
came quite anxious Their food and
their money were exhausted, and there
was no moro milk to make cheeses for
sale.
Elsa was at her wits end what to do.
when CHEEKY pipe from Bullie re-
minded her Of Melchior's words. If
she sold the bird, she could procure
medicine and food for her grandfather.
But it was q bitter wrench. and the
tears rolled down her cheeks, and
wetted Bullie's glossy coat, as, taking
him from his cage, she pressed him to
her lips for last kiss
Then she told her grandfather she
| was off to inst to buy provisions.
There was lull in the storm, but
the mountains were swathed in cot
ton-wool-like fog as the brave little
maiden assembled the winding path.
The moisture chilled her to the bone,
and the white world around her fright
ened her by its silence. But on she
went, and the fog closed stealthily
round, and gradually hid the path and
every landmark from her sight. Strug-
Cling on in terror, rift in the midst
showed her she was utterly lost, and on
the brink of a yawning precipice. Over
come with fatigue and fear, Elsa sank
to the ground. hiding Bullie's cage
under her cloak, and gave herself up
for lost The cold fog wrapped her in
its chilly embrace, and a death-like
torpor gradually stole over her.
1t was nearly nightfall when two
wood-cutters, sent by her anxious
grandfather to search for her, came
cropping their way through the fog,
fearing the worst for her. Suddenly,
through the awful stiffness, familiar
sound struck on their ears, and the
shrill notes of the Emperor's Hymn
came ringing through the gloom. It
was Bullie piping away cheerily from :.
beneath the warm shelter of his poor
little mistress, whom they found lying
unconscious in most perilous spot
Thus had the lite bird saved Elsa's
life!
The wood-cutters carried her down
to Inst to Frau Lula, to whose care the
old grandfather, too, was presently re-
moved. And need not say that none
ever dreamt again of selling the bull
nch.-Edith E. CuttelL. in Little Folks.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
THE CARS DOMlNIONS.

Ex-ConsuI- General Buffers Opinion of
Russia and Its Government.
care there not good many Jews
in Russiap"
Yes; one-half of the Jews in the
world live in Russia, or about three
and half millions of people. If you
suppose that the United States is full
of Jews you should see Russia. The
public feeling there is against them.
They are the only people in all Russia
allowed to emigrate wherever they
choose. Nobody else in the country
can leave it; the understanding is
among all the component races of Rus
STA that they belong to the country,
and every subject must have pass
port. like every foreigner. No subject
can pack his traps and move to Amer
lea or Germany except the Hebrews"
"Are the Russians a patriotic peo-
ple?" -
"Yes, thoroughly so. There are
some elements in Russia which hate
the dominant Russians; the Firms and
Poles particularly come under this de-
scription. ]. did not go to Poland, but
the most beautiful women saw in st.
Petersburg were Poles. 1 had re-
marked to an American friend that
was disappointed in the beauty of the
women, and he told me one evening TO
come to Polish ball. where would
see the finest women of the capital. 1
went there. and hardly ever saw more
dazzling beauty. The Firms were con-
quered from Sweden by Russia, and
they are highly intellectual race, with
gentle natures, who pay more attention
to Location, and their women are
more beautiful. The Russian women
have splendid forms. but their
faces are not SO agreeable.
Nearly all the ~ Russians
have turned-up noses, and when you
see regiment of Russian soldiers in
Nine you might think they were Irish for
Shet reason. The Russian women have
bldn sges and whitish opaque skins.
Theexpression of the average Russian
face is sullen and hard; they are not
people of much wit OF gayety. But
there are some things about them very
peculiar; for instance. their religion. I
never saw such religious people in the
world, but, as in all cases where re-
Iigion is fercely formal, it does not
embrace their morals. have seen on
the floors of their churches officers of
their army and mobiles kneeling bowed,
with .stheir foreheads ona the floor.
bv the hour. When the Hcommon
people pass the church they take
off their hats, and if it should
he one hundred feet wide they
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
Extinction Of the Buffalo.

+ a result of careful investigation, L
convinced that there are not now
|e than 200 buffalo alive in our 9 oun-
outside of Yellowstone Park. OF
number there are 100 or less, in, the
handle Of Texas; there are about
bore in the country where our COL
ing was done, and perhaps about
bore in the neighborhood Of the
Park mountains. Mont. Strange
II may seem, there are still
dozen head in South
Tern Dakota, and I am told
e are few struggling bison in
Clark's Fort region, near the Ma
al Park. In the latter reservation
e are between 100 and 1875 head.
they are increasing at the rate of
'er cent annually. On all sides,
ever, the unprotected buffalo are
e crowded out of existence by the
le-raisers, and in two years more
: will all be gone. Thus has gone
great American bison, and let mo
you our elk, our deer, our antelope
mountain sheep are all fast going
same way.-Cor. Chicago Inter,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
CHEAP BOARDING.

An Ethereal Theory Which VIII Strike
Terror to the Hearts of Hotel Men.
A book has just been published in
Boston which no clearinghouse keep
err can afford to be without. For if
the author is correct there is no reason
why human being should be served
with meal more than once or twice a
year. One of the chapters of the work
treats of fasting. He argues that fast
ing is conditioned on spirit power, that
Doctor Tanner never could have per-
formed his celebrated feat of absti-
nence had he not been medium"
Then he goes on to remark: II have
no doubt that with . suitable organi-
cation, such as is more common in
India than in America, fast could be
sustained by spirit power for six or
twelve MONTHS
Here we have grave menace of the
clearinghouse business. 1t is only
necessary for the boarders of city to
combine, form suitable organization
on the best model that India affords
and possess themselves of sufficient
spirit power in order practically to get
rid of the necessity of mourning board
bills. To be sure, even with suitable
organization and spirit power, they
would still be required to eat, one meal
on New Years day and another on
the Fourth of July. But almost every
body could count upon being invited
out on those two holidays. And even
the boarders who were not so fortunate
could doubtless find fair to middling
board for those two meals at fifty cents
a meal. One dollar year for table
expenses-will the writer of that
pleasing little work, "How to Live on
Three Hundred Dollars Year." please
tell us how that strikes him? Just as
soon as the Boarders' Anti-Meal Asso-
citation is ready for business we may
expect to see some such advertisements
as these in the newspapers:
WANTED.
A gentleman and his wife desire board for
year. He will expect to be served with two
meals one in the spring and the other in the
fall. She being of a more ethereal nature will
merely require one meal-te be served in what
ever month may be most convenient to all con.
cerned References EXCHANGED. Address
spirit POWER"
a
Those wishing good board at the lowest
terms should call at the Eureka Boarding
House. Spirit power always on tap. We
guarantee to take any person, no matter how
large his appetite, and after one infusion OF the
spirit power leave him so that he will be salts
fed with two meals a year, or five meals for
three years. It will pay you to call on u.s.
WE DEFY COMPETITION.
Why pay dollar year for board when wa
can sell you ten meal tickets calling for all the
food you will want for five years, includino
pie, for three dollars and ninety-nine cents
Address the Economy Boarding House Com
pany Qimited). Parties not readily yielding tn
spirit power need not apply.
We hazard nothing in affirming that
the clearinghouse keepers of the
United States never before were con-
fronted with precisely this sort Of an
amazing emergency. Still, let the
boarders beware of rejoicing prema-
turely at the prospect of phenomenally
cheap board. Suppose while thew are
absent in India getting points on or
ganization, the boarding house keepers
to corner the spirit-power
then?-M Y. Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
READING FOR THE YOUNG.
SEVEN YEARS.

even summer suns have brightly shone
Since first you saw the light OF day;
even winter SHOWS have come and gone
Since first in loving arms you lay,
A fathers pride, mothers joy,
Adarling little baby boy.
be little dainty robes Of white
Have long ago been laid away;
he little kits Of plaid SO bright
Are worn by you no more to day;
In trousers, every true boys pride,
You now affect manly stride.
lr baby boy with dinpled hands,
With stalwart limbs and sturdy lungs,
Who talked and told US all his plans
With ablest Of all baby-tongues-
Has he been stolen. lost or soldf
Why, bless me! he is seven years old
We well recall his baby bow,
The kiss he threw we bring to mind
He doffs his hat to ladies now,
For he is both polite and kind.
The baby boy we erstwhile had
Is now gentlemanly lad.
With other lads he goes to school,
He reads his book, he joins in games:
Knows the result of many rule,
Knows many scientific names;
This laddie, still pride and joy.
No longer is baby boy.
Brings change complete to every one;
A change that manifest appears
In all who dwell beneath the sun.
That you are changed who will not sayf
You who are seven years old to-day.
When seven more years shall pass away,
Another change will then appear;
You'll be our boy, though. as to-day,
And to our hearts be just as dear.
Perhaps you'll wear long trousers then
-1,,- &c thu
Your longer legs will want to stride
A big bicycle by that time;
A live horse then you'll want to ride,
Aud up steep mountain sides you'll climb.
Perhaps youIl join the Knockabout,
And taste the joys of camping out.
You'll want rod to fish for trout
For Cousin Ben says it's '.such fun;"
And-meroy on us!-rve no doubt
But by that time you'll want a gun;
And shall be beset by fear,
Lest you should shoot yourself. my dear.
You'll play base ball. and tennis, too.
With other big boys on the lawn,
And many other things you'll do,
When seven other years are gone.
This seven gone and seven more,
Our boy will stand at manhood's door.
All, little lad, we all can guess
What boys will do, both great and small;
But boyhood passed, must confess
can not prophecy at all:
Although sometimes halfway plan
What you will do when you're man.
What cause will claim your hand and voices
The world affords SO wide ranget
"Twere idle to foretell your choice,
For hopes and aspirations change
The last fond hope you have expressed
Is for a ranch somewhere Out West.
Whatever work may come to claim
Your hand, your head, and loving heart
Whatever be your name or fame,
Ipray you may act well your part
Be faithful, honest, earnest, too,
And grace whatever work you do.
May Heaven grant all these years to you,
To crown a boyhood pure and sweet;
May all your life be good and true
blessing unto all you meet.
And blessings rest upon your head
When ten times seven years have fed
-Abagau Adams Foster. in Vide A,oaks:.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

A correspondent of one of the tech
nical journals has been making some
experiments in gastronomy, which GER
tainly do credit to his power of over.
coming natural prejudices. He caught,
by the aid of his terrier, two plump
barn rats, and after preparation. pre-
sented them to his cook to be made in.
to a pie. The pie was, he states.
delicious, and was voted a luxury by
some friends who partook of it unwit-
tingly. He also says that he can
from experience safely recommend
a hedgehog stewed in milk as
a real delicacy. 1t is well known
that roast hedgehog is favorite dish
with English gypsies. Our readers
may also remember that during the
last siege of Paris its inhabitants were
reduced to such straits that vermin OF
this kind were often submitted to SINH
lar trial. One writer states that so
palatable were they that long after the
siege, when beef and mutton were
again plentiful. rats often found their
way to the French bill of fare, dis
guised alike by cunning flavoring and
fanciful names.-Chanabers' Journal.
Two of the largest checks for
money ever drawn in New York have
been framed and hung up in the office
of the Central railroad. They are both
Vanderbilt checks, and represent two
generations. One is dated March 2,
1867, is for $1,000, 900. and signed by
G. Vanderbilt. The other is dated No
vember 20, 1885, is for Sc, 600, 900. and
signed by w. II. Vanderbilt. 2.
Tribune
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

Always be placid. A physician
says there is nothing like care or wor-
riment to pillow burrows in the FORE
head, and these are badly marring the
faces OF our American women. We
pass IN the streets women of thirty-five
whose foreheads are more wr;nt,ad
than the brow should be at seventy
Some OF these may not have more cares
than others, but they unnecessarily
yield to the tendency to express them
IN the face.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31

ia women at Santa Cruz, Cal, has
her husband for divorce. the
p ground OF complaint being that
neglected to say grace at his meals.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
MILITARY PRESSURE.

The Trem endous Political Influence Exef-
cised by the Armies of Europe.
The pressure of the army stats OF
Europe toward war is an element in
the situation of which too little ac-
count is taken. The civil power-is here
so completely supreme that the opinion
of the army counts for little, even in
foreign politics, and in home politics
does not count at all. Upon the Con-
tinent, however, the Governments,
even when, as in France, they are
nominally civil, rest ultimately upon
vast armies, whose chiefs are as potent
in affairs, especially in foreign affairs,
as leading statesmen. The Rus
sian and Austrian Emperors
look to the army as the mainstay of
their power-there' are men who say
there is no true Austria except the
Imperial army-and would regard any
widespread discomfort among their Off.
GERS or any contempt for their action
felt within the barracks as grave
cala,nities. Even when not soldiers
themselves-and they are both soldiers
those two sovereigns listen to their
Generals with deep attention.; and
when told that great military opportu-
mites are passing away, or that grave
airy dangers may arise from delay,
much influenced as an English
ster is when he perceiyes that his
is eager for Especial course OF
IN. They court, in fact, their most
tive supporters. In France the
eminent is at times actually afraid
e army; which if irritated can
set it,; and though that
is not felt in Germany,
Re loyalty is % military
on, any "loss of heart among
rs is sincerely dreaded. That is a
of the impulse which makes a
pine tolerable, induces all classes
Prve, and helps, in the hour of
ger to insure the sacrifices which
alone produce victory. An army
n believes in its chiefs capacities
different instrument from an army
h doubts them, and an indefinitely
pger one. If, therefore, the great
p of picked and scientific soldiers
form the army staff of Germany.
rt as their deliberate Judgment,
''the retention of Metz will in,
next war save $1,000 men," or that
ielay of year will add five PER-
to the mobility of the French
J, the German Court, including,
ce Bismarck, are compelled to.
with grave attention. Spectator.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-31
EUROPE'S NAVIES.

Nations Owning Gigantic Vessels
Armed With Powerful Guns.
he minor naval powers are falling
Fe or less completely out of the lists
avail competition. Spain and Por-
al have ceased to be and Greece
not become of any naval inn
tance, Spain alone making some
IL effort to keep respectable. but
that effort is chiefly expanding it.
as that of the United States is
1T to expend itself, by the by-in
production of very fast vessels,
th may be useful in preying upon
merce, but which are scarcely fit to
even pirates, and which a real
ship would dispose of with a sim
round of her battery fire. They
be efficient in running away, no
BIT, when danger arises, but run
away" was not the method by
Fh the United States won naval dis
ton, nor that by which Spain once
lme great and Greece immortal.
naval police of Germany is de-
i've; she is almost without pre-
ions upon the open sea. Turkey is
lily but surely succumbing to Russia,
in the near future the Russian
ok Sea fleet will hold unquestioned
Ftery over Turkey. Italy has a
al role of her own to play in Eu-
e, and on the whole is playing it
Il. Austria would do we'll to hesitate
er present naval condition before
n exposing herself to the swift and
ructive onslaughts which the
bendously armed and excessively
Italian ships could make upon her.
ice is really great naval power,
there are circumstances which
I'D make a naval conflict between
: and England one of the most uncer-
n in the history of the world. The
,nch have very largely abandoned
prote ction of their guns by
nor; we, most unhappily, have still
re largely abando ned the protection
our ships, and it remains to be seen
ich has been the most foolish. I
h a conflict the French would
re this advantage over England
overthrow of their guns or the
truction of their gunners at them
uld not prevent their ships them
yes from Withdrawing from ac-
1 and repairing their in
les. What would become of our
lxes, Agamemnons. our Colling-
DDS and Benbows (both these latter
h guns as much exposed as the
nch, by the by) when their long
gile ends had been smashed and
ter-logged, and their high speed
gone, is a question which
'efer not to speak of further. There
J, there is, there ever will be but
sound policy for nation
t desires to command the seas,
can afford to do so, and that is
reject all doubtful fads, all
lgerous fancies, and to insure with
ceasing pronounced superiority
every known and measurable ele-
ut of naval power. New inventions
and must be made; new sources Of |
yer, new means of attack, will and |
st be discovered; but these things |
e time and money and skill to de-
,p, and that power is the greatest
safest which from time to time and |
avs prefers the thing which must
coed to that which may, and which
ers fear will. fail in the hour of trial.
'daoard H. Reed, tn Hasper's Mag
se.