davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10

DURING the Cars visit to Copen.
hagen German conjurer was giving an
exhibition of his skill before royal
party at Fredensborg when the Gear
took up the pack of cards with which the
prestidigitateur had been operating and
sal II will show you another trick.
but | doubt whether you will be able
to add it to your repertoire. His
Majesty then tore the pack of ffty-two
cards in two without apparently the
slightest effort. The Snowman pro-
duced another pack and tried to initiate
his example, but in vain; only those
possessing wrists of steel can in this
case follow suit. It is no trick, but the
exercise of almost superhuman
strength. A few minutes later he
called for silver dollar and bent it
double between the thumb and fore
finger of his right hand.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10
Il REM RKABLE CHINESE STORY,

A Chinese tragedy, followed by ju-
dicial proceedings and remarkable
all-round administration of rough JUS
tice, is reported in the latest budget OF
news from the Celestial Empire. An
officer named Telengo, hearing two of
the soldiers of his company quarreiing
about money debt, called them be-
fore him and questioned them respect
ing their unruly conduct. They re-
sented his interference and were fogged
for insubordination. One of them, Yu-
ch'eng by name, aggravated his ofense
and incurred severer and repeated
punishment by two attempts to escape
the fogging by running away. The Of
ficer Telengo himself administered ten
of the strokes inflicted on Yu-ch'eng
because he considered that he was get
ting off too lightly. Poor Yu-ch'eng
was further reported to the general for
further disciplinary treatment. Here
even Celestial endurance was at an end.
The man effectually ran away this time;
he found permanent oblivion in. an
overdose of opium. Then the officer
Telengo was tried. He was found
guilty of inficting excessive punish
ment and was sentenced to be fogged.
Ninety blows, or half those inflicted on
Yu-ch'eng, were ordered. The man
who administered the fogging was con-
demned to receive eighty blows; the
soldiers guarding the deceased to suffer
sixty blows; and Ssu-hai, the man who
quarreled with the deceased, to endure
eighty blows. The report naively adds:
aYu-ch'eng being dead, no further no.
tice need be taken of his offense, and
his debt to Ssu-hai is extinguished."-
London DGilu Ne,US.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10
MRS. MdLAPROP IN CHICdGO.

There is woman on the West Side
WHO is tho source OF infinite amuse-
ment to her friends and neighbors.
She is great talker, but has the un-
fortunate habit of getting her words
and grammar badly mixed. I had
heard of her peculiarity, and happen
ing to sit behind her in a street car,
homeward-bound from shopping ex-
pedition, Saturday evening, listened
while she was telling lady friend op-
posite her where she had been and
what she had been doing during the
afternoon. She talked loud enough to
be heard all over the car; such folks
always do talk that way. Il went for
to go to the French mo-dis-ty to git
fitted for stylisher gown" said she,
"but couldn't find 'er, to save my life,
till it was Almost time to go back home.
But I did find her, finely. I told her
what I wanted, and, do you believe me,
she couldn't understand a word said.
She is very Frenchy, you know-one O.
them highty-tighy sort. She don't
understand our languish, nor me her'n.
So we had to have an
interpreter to do our talking, and
she's going for to make me a gown
that'll be just too killing for anything
q silver and white blockade think
that is the name she called it-anl,
what do you think, it's going to be
trimmed with vermin!" I heard no
more. The conductor called out my
street, and went out in time to save
myself from fainting fit.-Chicag0
Journal.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10
Their Hands,

Madam Patti has small, cold, and
wrinkled hand Modjeska's hands are
round, long. and well formed. They
are generally in repose. The hands OF
Clara Morris are long, slender, rather
wiry, and nervous. Her nails are pink
and pretty, and the wrists are small
and turned Mary Anderson has a
cold hand that almost gives you chill
if touched. Margaret Mather's hands,
like herself. are small, graceful, and
effective in gesture. Gerster, Scalchi,
Fursch- Madi, and Materna all have
large and generous hands, hearty TO
clasp.--Kansas City Stcr.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10
Enforcing Strict Discipline.

i
an one of 'em married her"
Enforcing Strict Discipline.
When Julius Mohl, the professor of
Sanscrit in Paris, was obliged to enter
the National Guard, he mastered the
2S7 articles of war. Then he used them
constantly to thwart his officers, who
were ignorant of their provisions, and
thus made himself so obnoxious to them
that they turned him out of the Guard
which was precisely what he wished
to bring about. The law authorized
the officers to call out the members of
the National Guards for twenty-four
hours duty, but they used to add to
this two hours extra, calling them out
two hours before the duty began for
drill and parade.
Mohl knew this, and, not liking it,
used to present himself two hours after
the appointed time. One day he thus
presented himself ready to fall in when
the parade was over and the Nationals
dismissed to their respective posts.
why did you not come before ?"
asked the Colonel, seeing Mohl stand
ing at his ease.
| Because" answered Mohl, "the law
only allows you to call me out for
twenty-four hours. and as I know you
will not send me away before II o'clock
tomorrow, I have not come before IL
o'clock to-day"
| "The National Guard will destroy
itself by reasoning!" exclaimed the
Colonel, angrily.
! "Well, then it will be destroyed by
its natural enemy" replied Mohl.
II will give you double guard duty"
said the officer, and ne ordered him to
stand at the gate of the Tulleries for
four hours, instead of two. Mohl him
self must tell the final result:
"Well, then went, and as there
were a great many of my friends going
to and fro there, I began talking with
them, when little gentleman, with a
fine cane, begins a conversation with
NEE
"'well, National, it is a fine day.
How do you like being on guard p and
after word or two he says, You don't
seem to know me- say, Il have not
the honor of your acquaintance.
"Says he, 4 am the Colonel of your
regiment.
"Says I, 4 am the National Guard
whom you ordered to double duty this
morning, and if you are Colonel Che
was in plain clothes), you ought to
know that it is an offense to speak to a
sentry on his post, and therefore az
rest you for it, and will trouble you to
walk into my sentry box till the cor
poral comes around to let you out
"'Ah,' he says, that is joke
Is it?' says L I never joke but
with the bayonet. Go into the sentry
box, or the soldier opposite will put
his hand Oh your collar and put you
in
"He did not like this at all, as he was
one of the fine gentlemen of Paris the
Duo de Grammont, I think zand he
did not like to stand like an ape be-
hind me in my sentry box, for all his
fine friends to laugh at as they passed.
"What could he do? He had before
him man with a gun in his hand, with
the law on his side, for he was in the
wrong, and his mortal enemy. He
made a great fuss about it, and at last
I let him go, telling him he had better
not be so strict to other people another
time. After that was never called out
to do duty again. - Youths Gonapa1a-
ION.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10

KING JOHN of England was forced to
grant the Magma Charta, June Is, 1915,
when the great seal was affixed thereto
at Runnemede, a meadow between
Staines and Windsor. The original
Magma Charta is preserved in the
1Eitish Museum.
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10

such reputation I'll over the country
from that fight that the fellers from
Springfield got to comm up to spark
her, an they took her away from me,
an one of 'em married her"
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10
Social Biunderers.


One variety of the social blunderer is
he who blandly inquiries after the Qate)
husband and hopes he is well, as he
has not seen him lately; or after the
divorced lady, whose presence he looks
around him vacantly to espy. He then
remarks on her absence and inquiries
with feverish energy after her health.
He it is who asks after the runaway
daughter or the scapegrace son, whose
name is never mentioned at home, or
recalls with visible effort the name of
the person he is addressing and then
mangles or mispronounces it He re-
marks on girls looks to her mother
and discovers the fact when he has
done so or else puts his foot into it too
deeply for extricaton or apology.
He like minded also who observes,
for example, that her ladyship's dress
;s cut too low to her indignant lord,
whom he mistook on entering for the
butler, and then apologized on the
ground that such had been his impress
sion. Such folk are not generally pop
ular They mean no harm, but achieve
q good deal. Sufferers are too apt to
suppose some malice in their mis-
takes, of which they are for the most
part quite innocent. They constantly
repeat overheard remarks to the wrong
people. They read fragments of LETT
ters aloud and burt out pieces of In
formation they were bound to keep
quiet, or they involve themselves
deeply in explanations and apologize to
you for things they have inadvertently
uttered as to your character or pros
poets which fill you with dismay. The
society they adorn would gladly, If it
could, exterminate them; but they in
variably presume a welcome and dis
port themselves with fattering as
surance, only to plunge deeper into the
slough of blundering, from which it is
often impossible to extricate them
SalradGu Queen.
WHOEVER considers the study OF
anatomy I believe will never be an
atheist; the frame of mans body and
Conference of its parts being 80 strange
and paradoxical that I hold it to be the
greatest miracle of nature. Lord Her
hest of GherhsArn,
LEARN to hold your tongue. Five
words cost Zacharias forty weeks Il.
lenca
Western Kansas world., 1887-12-10


come in, so he jumped over the rope
that was staked around the elephants
and the coon, an yelled: 'Hurrah fol
the elephant and slapped it on the
rump.
Il had heard my father say that q
good fighter needed good second, SO
I yelled: Well done, Miss Lucinda! |!
an slapped her on the back. An then
they went at it agin-the girl an the
elephant. The elephant would bunt
and strike with his snoot, and Miss
Lucinda would Jump an kick, and the
clown yelled and cheered on the ele-
phant, an I yelled and cheered on Miss
Lucinda Lord what fight that was
And you ought to seen the Cleary
Grove boys buy tickets an come in to
see the fight. The tent was full in no
time, an everybody but the clown
cheered on Miss Lucinda. Lord! how
that girl could jump an kick! And
durin' the fight she turned to me an
says: Bill, 1 amt got no fair show.
This rope here breaks the power of my
kick
"'You shall have fair show, Miss
Lucinda, said I, an I jist pulled up
two stakes that held the rope, an
pushed it up higher than my head.
"An' Miss Lucinda backed off about
six feet, an come at that elephant
a-runnin,. An she jumped an kicked
it, an jumped an kicked it, till I'm
plagued if she didn't kick that elephant
clean over.
"Then the clown yelled Enough!
enoughP and the crowd all cheered
Miss Lucinda, an I said: Hold on,
Miss Lucinda, you've licked him. An
she turned to me with her black eyes
snappin' an her cheeks as red as roses,
an her bosom heavin' an says: Bill,
I've good mind to iist stomp the seize
take it ivers out of that elephantp
The old man closed his eyes and
laughed softly.
"Well, Mr.. Greene, said /, awhat be-
came of Miss Lucinda?"
3Oh. I lost her.! I lost her. She got
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
HaSty Words.

Half the actual trouble Of life would
be saved if people would remember that
silence Is golden when they are irritated
vexed OF annoyed. To feel provoked or
exasperated at trifie, when the nerves
are exhausted. is perhaps natural to US
in our imperfectly sanetified state But
why put the annoyance into the shape
of speech, which once uttered is re-
membered, which may burn like blist-
ering wound, or rInkle like a poisoned
arrow? Ifa child be trying. or friend
capricious, or a servant unreasonable, be
careful what YOU say. Do not speak
while you feel the impulse of anger, for
you viii be almost certain to say toJ much
to say more than your cooler judgement
will approve, and TO speak in way you
will regret. Be silent until the Sweet
by and by" when you shall be calm,
rested and self controlled. Above all,
never write letter when YOU are in a
mood of irritation. There is an anger
which isjustiiable, there are resentmonts
which are righteous Ii is sometimes a
duty to express indignation. But if you
consider the matter, the occasions for
putting such feeling on record are COM
parativelE few. They come once in a
life time, perhaps. and TO many fortu-
nate beings they never come at all. Upon
the whole. people-Our friends and neigh
bors, and the community Of which we
form a par-are trying TO do the best
they can and in hours Of good temper
and health life wears bright and sunny
aspect.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
Sacerdotal Functions.

In the early days Of California, when
whisky fetched fabulous prices Sink,
there was bold commodore Rho*rna-
mented the navy AMI commanded the Pa
eific squadron. Whileat Washington re-
eeiving bis sailing orders the commodore
was requested by the Secretary Of the
Navy to proceed 10 HonolnIu and inves-
tigate the troubles ofcertain missionaries,
who had not been heard Of in several
years. A gang Of weeping wives and
children were Oh hand To substantiate
the grievance pointed out by the Secre-
tary. The commodore was equal 70 the
occasion. He swore that the honor and
prestige Of the nation should not suffer in
his keeping
~Damme." cried the choleric officer.
I'll bring back % you your brothers and
husbands; III show EN- that Americas
eagle bird spreads his pinions over the
persecuted missionary as well as the way
up oieOcrat
The commodore in due course anchor
Fl of Diamond Head, and Ordered his
frst lieutenant 10 20 ashore in the first
cutter and fetch the king aboard Mean
while the guns We're double-shotted and
brought - bear on She town. Just a. the
boats crew was piped away the watch
reported a shore boat coming OFF The
commodore suspended MS sanguinary
intention and decided % await events.
The boat came alongside and disembarS-
a brace Of missionaries. The first man
aboard gives their names and their call
ing. Then said the truculent commodore.
Ny poor friends, you have been bad
" treated your wives and sisters at
home in Boston and New York call for
vengeance and, damIne, they shall get it
Tell me your Outraees, What have you
TO complain of
Mr.. Commodore" /" remarked the boss
missionary, meekiy we have met with
great eontumely. The government has
even cut of our sacerd0sal functions. and
it Is high time our country interferes.T
High time" blasted the officer. high
time / should say 80, No wonder your
wives never heard from you. Cut of your
sac Mr. Lieutenant. red-hot shot,
Cut off your
But excuse me, Mr.. Commodore
interpolated the missionary spokesman
= / guess You mistook my meaning. What
I wanted to say, in speakingof cutting of
our saceriotal functions. was that they re-
fused TO allow Us To preach the Savior
and Him crucified
That's what you meant, was it Wen.
get right square of my ship. YOU psalm
singing land-lubbers. before I kick day
light through your fundamental princi-
pies Make sail, Mr.. Lieutenant
The good lieutenant was failure as a
theologian, but he meant well | believe
his name was sloat The boys we're go
ing 70 give him monument, bat the
last Legislature needed all the money for
mileage.-S,Fa Ffaacisco WasD-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
Cut Feed for Stock.

have cuf feed for twenty years. tirst
by hand. and for the last fifteen years
with power, EXCEPT three years that !
topped my corn Icut last winter for SIX
teen head Of cattle three horses and
ninety-five sheep. viii give my expe-
rience in cutting and feeding cut feed
l. sWiH il pay % cut good hay Of any
kind?n l; viii not, unless you wish to
mix with cut stalks. because yOu add
nothing to is value by cutting. and stock
viii eat il well enough without.
3 VIII it pay % cut corn stalks ? =
Yes, most decidedly You can make
them feed one-third more stock, especial
ly cattle but remember. You must feed a
little more grain, fine middlings. or some
thing that will stick TO the stalk Damp
en- what i leff in mangers in the morning
and mix the grain with it, You can not
save as much on horses and sfseep n on
cattle, bat enough 70 pay for cutting
3. Convenience IN feeding is no small
item.
The manure Is worth enough more
to twice pay for cutting. In feeding
skeep in racks with tight bottom, clean
ont at night what Is ieft. using il for bed
ding / feed hay and grain at night. 1t
viii keep the manure from packing down
80 hard and save the liquids cut in
lengths from three-eighths to three
fOurths Of an inch Use water enough %
make stalks damp; # they sweat some,
all the better for cattle; horses and sheep
won't eat a. well if they heat Use what
salt YOU wish your stock TO have. in the
water you dampen with. In warm
weather you should not dampen more
than three days before feeding; viii heat
if Won do. In cold weather dampen as
cut A for powers 10 cut with, have
used several. have used from two to
tweiye-horse powers with same box
have used post power last winter and ike
it. II i overhead out Of the way; no
tumpling rod in the way in the barn,
and can cut stormy days as well as any
can take post down in three minutes and
have floor 70 use least gearing and most
power for number Of horses used two
hands enough to run it; always ready
for use Directions Can not be used for
as many purposes, il being stationary;
horses occupy fronl twelve to fourteen
feet Of floor while cutting
A work about machines that split the
stalk I never used one, but have
neighbOr who has cIt for ten or twelve
years he tried one last winter and said
II did not pay for the power it took to run
il, and took the splitter attachment of.
He used ten-hor-s power steamer.-H-
IT, Elofg. IA Ohio Farp,er.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
A Triangular ParIor Chair,

4 pretty and novel arrangement for a
parlor Is 70 get carpenter to make a tri-
angular seat. the height Of any ordinary
chair or ottoman. It can be made with
a lid To open, to pu- work o. newspapers
into. stuff the top with excelsior eov-
cred with a thick layer Of WOOL over that
place the final covering Of plush. which
can be tufted or left smooth. a. fancy dc
tates. Have the carpenter fasten the
seat in the corner, having the I'D open
towards the front, the triangle fitting
close against the wall Put two OF three
handsome cushions against the wall. Fit
a piece Of gilt molding or eorniee to the
ceiling across the corner to match the
shape Of the seat below, and hang pair
of madras. or transparent or lowered
silk curtains from the cornice and loop
them back with chains or wide satin rib
bons the color Of the plush sat. When
nicely fitted up this little corner seat
makes most luxuriant resting place. be
sides being exceedingly ornamental
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
BE OF GOOD CHEER.

Though tangled hard life's knot may be.
And YEARLY We rue it,
The silent touch Of Father Time
Some day will -ure undo ii.
Then, darling. wait
Nothing is late
In the light that shines forever.
We faint at heart, friend is gone;
We chafe at the worlds hard drilling:
We trensble at sorrows on every side,
AT the myriad ways of killing.
Yet say We all.
IL a sparrow fall.
The Lord keeIeth count forever.
He keepeth count We come, we 20,
We speculate toll and falter;
But the measure to each of veal aud woe
God only can give or alter.
He sendeth light.
Hesendeih night.
And change goes on forever
Why not take life with cheerful trust
With faith in strength OF weakness.
The sisnderest daisy resrs its head
With courage. YET with meekness.
A sunny face
Hath Holy grace,
To WOO the sun forever
For ever and ever. my darling. yes
Goodness and love are undying
Only the troubles and cares Of earth
Are winged from the first for flying.
Our way We plough
In the furrow now :"
But after tilling and growing. the sheaf
Soil for the root, but sun for the leaf
And God keepeth watch forever
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-09-14
The Heiress Hunter.

Nothing can be more contemplate
than the life Of a man who makes a show
for few years that he NAV marry an
heiress. He lives = purely selfish eNIs-
tenoe; he l. a mere cumberes Of the
ground. To be the accomplished man Of
society he may cultivate a few gifts and
graces, but he has no true manhood He
may be a convenient man 70 ask % din
ner, an eminent club fayorite he puts
down a very handsome contribution o
every ball iist and every fashionable
charity. he should send good bouquets,
te well mounted at the hunt he mus; be
one Of those oolOrless, civil. useless non
entities whom society loves; he must
have no disagreeable family connections
He viii then be asked where the heires--
e 20. He must be seen at every tea,
ball, reception he must give an OCCASION
al theatre party he must know how %
be mean. and snub all the people who
have been civil to him, only inviting
those Of the highest fashion who have
snubbed him be must be pure and
perfect snOb. lie viii then be spoken Of
as a young man Of the highest fashion
and Of excellent manners. He must have
that air Of cold blooded ingratinde
which none but real snobs know, and a
perfect blindness in seeing his friends Of
the past he must do the Opulenf bache-
lor business for while, and adopt the
languid cruteh and tOothpiek style; he
must I'LL MS rooms with brie-a-brac and
E4stlake furniture, and give very
recherche little suppers- BuI if he wants
en- heiress who knows the value Of her
money, be must not appear fast or dissi-
pated he should at least seem very re-
spectable-Hrrper's BazGr