St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-12-10
IN A DAKOTA COURT.

To the Editor Of the Globe.
A scene in Dakota court room which
your correspondent witnessed:
Judge-NeXt is the case of Jerry 0.
Quasi against E. r. Winrow. Gentle
men, what is the status of this case?
Attorney for Plaintiff think we are
ready for trial, your honor. Mr.. Sheriff,
please call Mr.. Quasi. the plaintiff.
Judge-IS the defense ready, Mr..
Truega?
Attorney for Defendant-If the court
| please, my client seems to be absent,
| though | told him he must be here
promptly at o'clock sharp; and it is
now two minutes past. However, If he
be not here by the time plaintiff pre-
SCENTS his case. l presume we shall have
to submit to having judgment entered
against us.
Judge-Will both parties agree to
take this jury? (meaning the jury sworn
| case Just dismissed for want of eyi-
dence to SUI port complaint. the neceS-
Sary document having been inadyert-
antly lief in witnesses overcoat pocket in
the cloak room, and there being no time
to allow him to get it,.
Attorneys Tin unison)-We will, your
honor, without challenge.
Judge-Mr. Clerk, swear the jury to
u y CdoC. \Jul SNOllt az usual ouS-
toneer speedy Swear the witnesses for
plaintiff. (One witness sworn.)
Attorney for Plaintiff-Your honor,
the plaintiff is not in court yet. would
like to have his testimony first. Have
sent three bailiffS to help him make his
way through the crowd. l suppose we
can examine this witness, and if he's
not here then, of course we will have
to submit to dismissal.
Judge-Proceed with the testimony.
Witness questioned in such manner
as to take all the time possible-each
attorney hopeing his client may get
there. Defendant comes in. out of
breath from his efforts to reach the bar
of justice. The court closes examina-
ton of the witness Oh the stand by ask
ing if he really knows anything about
the facts in the case, which he admits
he does not.
Attorney for Defendant-If the court
please, we move to have the case dis
missed.
Attorney for Plaintiff-Your honor,
the plaintiff will be here in a moment.
He is the biggest fool on earth, anyhow.
| told him to cling tight to my coat-tail
the whole time your honor was in the
city, and now, just as we have reached
the point we have been working toward
All bhS iooV UNIV WI ilN - tSOiiN'
told him his case was liable to be
reached on the calendar any minute
and be disposed of in less than a min
ute when it was reached; but it seems
he knew me so well that he didn't be-
lieve me. But he's the biggest
Court interrupts: ''Well, we'll. cOun
selor, it is not your fault. We have
already devoted fully five minutes to
this case, and the court cannot be de-
layed. This cause is dismissed. Ii liti-
giants can't stay in court they'll have to
take the consequences"
Plaintiff arrives and leans over the
railing by the side of defendant.
''POoR VS.. FATFISH."
Judge-Is this ready for trial?
Attorney for Plaintiff being the same
one just defeated by the failure of his
client to get into court on time)-YOur
honor, guess we are ready, if nay client
is close enough Breaches nervously
around to see if he can lay his hand on
Mr. Poor. Wait! Yer honor, the vic
tim has escaped. Where is old Joe? We
ask to have the plaintiff called before
you get the case finally disposed of.
Your honor, we ask to have the case
continued, as plaintiff is not on hand
for trial. Will not the defense agree to
a continuance? This case has been on
the docket only two terms, and brother
attorney ought Uninterrupted by OPP
posing counsel mumbling over that it is
year and half between terms. Yes,
| know this case was started in the
summer of 'S4, but there are good rea-
sons for asking for continuance.
Judge-What do you say, Friend
Wirepuller? Can we grant Brother
BlackStone's request? Is your client,
Mr.. Fatfish, in court?
sion of the court, the defendant is here,
ready for trial. | always have him right
under my thumb. We are ready, and
must have trial of this cause now.
Attorney for Plaintiff = Well, your
honor, we beg the mercy of the court,
and crave the courtesy due us from OPP
posing counsel in this matter,aS circum-
stances beyond our control have arisen
to prevent trial at this time. | will pre-
pare an affidavit of the facts to submit
to the court, which we can argue on our
way to supper this evening, so as not to
lose any time, and | think. when pre-
sented, it will convince you of the JUS
tice of the request.
Judge-Please state the facts briefly,
counselor. We might take your word
for it, to the extent, at least, of suspend
ing hostilitieS till you can write up the
affidavit.
Attorney-The motion, your honor, will
CHASED upon the ground of sickness and
unavoidable absence of party to this &C
ton. To be brief, your honor, the facts
are simply these: L have reason to be-
lieve that he is sick. and know to a GER
tainty that he would be sick if he at
tempted to reach this seat of justice in
time for the trial of the case at bar, and
happen to get here four seconds too late,
like the plaintiff in the case last dis
posed of. He is not man of iron nerve,
rugged frame or stoical constitution.
Pardon me for taking up the valuable
time of this court.
JUDICIAL right. Prepare your aft
davitS. We will have to continue few
cases, anyhow. There have been only
twenty-seveu important cases disposed
of since yesterday morning, and there
are over hundred on the calendar yet
to be disposed of before the court leaves
tomorrow evening. Gentlemen, are
you ready in the next case? These two
railroad cases must be tried before sup