Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-01-26
BRIGHT BITS.

A CRIMINAL was baled out in New York
the other day who vows he wouldn't have the
process repeated for 81 600. 1t was done with
stomach pump.-Brookl0R Union.
PALNIsTRY Is not such a new craze; we
nave known men to SIT around table for
hours trying to find out about each other
Lands.-BoSton Commercial Bulletin.
TENNYsoN SAYS: Edith was feminine to
her feet" How different Wyoming is in this
matter! She's rather rough and masculine
to her - enderieet. "-Chlcd0o Aait.
ANOTHER paradox: "H'm." soliloquized
the innocent, tits funny, but IT'S true, that
IT'S never 50 easy to down with the dust as
When ones raised the wind ~ unny
Folks.
THERE was man Of Arkansas,
no mad most savage old father in las,
With shoe number
he shot MIN over the z 5
And made bone dust of his lower las.
Detroit rree Press.
"WHY do you wear those green goggles?"
sad gentleman 10 Dootback who was
brlsky engaged IN snln ing up his shoes. "A re
your eyes weak"
mo, sir, not particularly weak; but the
SHINE put on the shoes hurts my eyes,
thtcag2 Wehly.
RICHARD CGUR DE LION was one of the
most stylish men IN his day. When he donned
MS SUIT OF shining armOr, put on a tin helmet,
pulled on pair of iamlnated steel toots
threw sheet iron ulster gracefully over one
arm and picked uD a club with Il spike in the
end Of 1t, society dudes said ne was dressed
TO Kill. - TeauS Sifttnys.
A LEADING American novelist. who some
times hnds pleasure in frivolity. addressed a
Trend at luncheon as follows: 1.-The date of
the new year, 1887. records incidentally a ban
quet at " men there was one gormandiZer and
many moderate eaters. How many moderate
eaters were there, and how much did they
cOGsume:'
Answer; Eighteen ate seven us SD, and
one ate eighty seven ll-S-87. )-RaIpe,'s
Week y.
A FEW days ago a certain member of Con
Sfess-an identity is inmateral-took part in
the long ana short haul discussion. Il feel 1t
my duty" he s3Id ITO vote for this measure !"
Inc alert correspondent OF a San Francisco
paper telegraphed this utterance, adding in
parentheseS after the word ''measureu the
words long and short haul" But either
through the "cussedness" of the wires. or the
superior wisdom OF the proof reader, the
sentence was printed as follows: II ieei il nv
duty to vote for this measure. Long and
snort hoWls. '-BOst01 4 dDertiser.
PIsCAToRIAL: Miss You seem to be
best man at all the weddings, Mr.. B. When
are you going 10 take a leading part yourself?
on, there are as good fish in the sea as ever
came out Of 1t.
Miss V.-Yes but don't you think the bait is
getting little stale? L fe.
THE PRUDENT MAIDEN: Heat last. my
dear Amelia the happy moment has arrived
when can tell you how | love you!
She-tor goodness sake, Mr.. Tompkins,
don't tell It here!
He-Why? There are no witnesses,
She-Thars just it.-LiG.
THE 5-year- terror of b street was
put to bed the other night by his alarmed
mamma with sore throat, a heavy fever and
other decided symptoms OF diphtherIa At
dayoreak next morning the parents were
awakened by the sound OF the patter of a pair
oil small ieet going down the stairs. The
mother arose and to her horror saw her sick
child In his night gown just opening the front
door ana gazing lntently out into the freezing
gray dawn.
what are you up top
"lCs al right, mamma, ;" he sang cheerfully
back, 1t amt dlphtherla; there's no yellow
flag out"'-S0h Lake He,aLd.