davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
BRIGHT BITS.


DON'T PLAY tag around the hind leg of
this mule" is placard in a Winfield stable.
- Winf Id Tti6uae.
LITTLE while, and then the maid,
Who wishes Lent was DER,
VIII, in her Easter hat arrayed,
Make conquests by the score.
-B0St n Courier.
"RAIN-IN-THE-FACE" one of the Indians
who killed Custer, wants to go TO school. He
VIII soon change his name 10 ''Hail-0n-the-
Back" then. unless BOYS and teachers have
changed marvelously since this witness used
TO miss four lessons week. hWrdette.
ALTHOUGH she is no partisan.
Her heart is with each artisan,
She draws the beaux,
BY drawing bows,
For quite well skilled in art is Ann.
-G0OddVS Sun.
WESTERN SOCIETY PHRASES. - Boston
Mother-Oh, yes, all my daughters are in
week.
Chicago Woman-We say made her debut
out West. Oh, by the way, has she made a
mash yet?-TSd- Bits.
LITTLE BOSTON BoY-Mamma, 1 see that
our Mr.. Lowell has been talking TO the people
of Chicago.
Mamma-Yes. dear.
Little Boston Boy after some contempla-
tlonl-Well, what 40 you fancy such people
want to hear?-Puck.
AN agricultural editor says: Nothing is
so unsightlv in the orchard as suckers grow
ing up around the apple trees" We are III
cined To think that to the owner of the
orchard suckers climbing over the stone wall
with their pocket full OF stolen apples would
be far more unsightly.-EOStQB POST.
OIL BROKER ito former customer)-How
dye do, Mr.. LamO? ! am glad to see you
looking so well and prosperous.
Mr. Lamb-Yes, I've been on the right side
of the market now for some months.
OIL Broker--Whar side have you been play
ings
Mr.. Lamb-The outsIde.-Puck.
1--WE got to get another girl" announced
the hotel clerk decidedly last evening. ''She
must be young. pretty and amiable and a
good talker. and, above all, she must live in
Buffalo. This interstate commerce bill ia
going to separate good many LOVING couples.
can't afford to pay railroad fare ana travel
200 miles to see N sweetheart any more. |
make my last trip Tomorrow :" - Buffalo
Courier.
THE other day two ladies while driving
mp Walnut street p .ssed the husband of one
of them sauntering slowly along with pretty
young woman by his side. There is Mr.
Mantiirt," said one or the matrons. isn't
that Mrs. GrasswIdow with him2" Mrs. Man
firt raised her glass to her eye and drawled:
"Yes. there goes Theodore with his latest
fancy. I'm sure don't know what she sees
in him End him SO embarrassing. Phil
ddeLDhtd NelOS.
OMAHA GIRL-Oh! you men are very mys-
FERROUS about your secret societies. Guess
you don't know we girls have secret society
TOO.
Omaha Man-Really, did not; you have
kept YOUR secret well.
Yes, we have one, it was formed last
night; hut Its object is a secret, you know"
II suppose So"
Yes; you see ali the members are to be
true to each other under all circumstances. I"
"Of course"
And tell each other all the secrets ther
hear. Isn't it splendid. "-Ondhd World.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

The Indications are that the Legisla-
| ture o. Florida, which meets to-day, Will
have a very interesting session. There
are a great many important matters with
which 1t will have to deal, and not the
! least important of them are the liquor
| question under section 10 of the new con-
! stitution and the election OF a United
| States Senator. There Is strong prohl-
bition sentiment in Florida. In fact, il
is about as strong there as in any other
| Southern State.
After the election OF a Speaker the
Senatorial question will attract more at
tention than any other until it is disposed
of. 1t Is supposed that ex-senator Jones
will be candidate for reelection, but it
is not believed that he has any following.
III he had remained at his post OF duty
| during the last few months OF his term
| he might have had an excellent chance
for reelection. HIS ability is recognized
and he had many warm friends through
| out the State. The Detroit episode, how
ever, virtually put him out OF the race.
EX.GOv. Bloxham and Gov. Perry are the
leading candidates. They, and their
friends for them, have been working dill
gently for the office for months, Either
OF them will make an excellent Senator.
They are both well informed respecting
Florlda's wants, and both are thoroughly
in accord with the progressive spirit
which now dominates the State.
The Legislature will have plenty of
work TO do. Doubtless there will be
great deal Of time taken up with discus
sion OF one kind and another, as there
doubtless is much difference of opinion
respecting the Interpretation to be placed
upon some portions of the new constitu-
ton.
The MORNING NEWS proposes to pub
lish the most important features of each
days proceedings, and Its readers may
expect TO find in its columns all that is
really worth knowing Of the Legislatures
work.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
Chairman Walker Plays Porter.
From the Albany 4 r0us.

rum Gle n CO1bNy dfQuds
The name OF G. G. b. Walker is familiar in
the Democratic politics of this State. He is
now chairman of the Democratic State Com
mittee. Mr.. Walker is q homespun, every
day sort of man, and in summers idle day
wanders about the depot of his Steuben coun-
ty home at Corning, watching incoming
trains. Some summers ago found MIN at the
depot one day with his coat off, for it was a
very hot day. He SAT upon trunk absorbed
in some problem of success, both state and
national, for his party, when a lady from an
incoming train approached him, saying, A"
declare, there are no truCkmen about. Are
YOU a truckman" she asked of Mr. Walker.
Quick to seize joke, Mr.. Walker replied:
"Yes, num-"
well, want you TO carry my three valises
to Mr.. G. e. Is. Walkers house," she authori-
tatively commanded.
Amazed as to who his caller was Mr.. w ak
er seized the three heavy grips, and follow ed
the lady meekly over mile to his own house.
When the d0or-bell rang, he winked to the
opener to keep still.
"How much, my good rnanT' the lady
asked.
"Well, mum, I'll have to charge you 75c,
num- as he dotted his hat and wiped off a
sea of sweat from his face. The money was
paid. MIR. Walker disappeared down in the
basement to reappear half an hour later in
the parlor before his asGonIshed guests eyes
an old friend of his family, whom he had n OF
seen for years. In the midst OF exclamatio ms
of surprise, explanations were IN ade,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
Starving Texans.

The condition of the people In very
large part of the State of Texas ia pitia-
BILE. In some counties there has been
scarcely any rain for more than a year,
and they are starving to death. There is
no grass for cattle and it is impossible to
cultivate grain or vegetables.
For many months there have been re-
ports OF the suffering in the drought
stricken portions of that State, but they
DO not appear to have excited much SYM
patty. Appeals have beer made for help,
but they have not met with very hearty
responses. This is not because those who
are in a prosperous condition are not
ready to give, but because the appeals
have not been put strongly enough
People read and forget. 1T needs some
thing like great calamity to fully
awaken their sympathies. When the fever.
stricken South called for help in 1878 it was
promptly furnished. When flood sufferers
OF the Mississippi valley In 1881 asked for
assistance there were generous donations,
and when CharlesJon's people were
shaken out of their homes hundreds OF
thousands OF dollars were poured into her
lap.
II the suffering counties OF Texas will
put their case strongly before the coun.
try they will receive prompt and generous
assistance. Their cry OF distress has not
yet pierced the busy brain of the nation
When 1t does the nations heart will
raapond
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

from the IfldtGildpOJiS JOut mi.
Speaking of suicides-there have been sew
eral lately, and good many people are talk
ing about them-a story is told coufidentiallv
by worthy citizen, who contem plated shut
fling off this mortal coil, He thought of it.
and thinks he was IN earnest, but this doubt.
because killing ones self is said to DO a pain
full operation, and the worthy citizen Is a man
who is extremely careful of his own comfort,
However. business had gone wrong, another
man had secured the church pew he set his
heart upon, renJs had been raised he wasn't
very well any way, and life didn't seem worth
living. His wife would get his insurance
money; she knew as much about his business
70 he did himself, and could get along without
him.
mat night he took home box OF "Rough
on Rats" and after his wife had retired took
it out and read the dire etions. Then he rot
out his razor ana strapped it and loaded his
revolver. He didn't know which method ne
would use, or whether he would try all three
and make sure thing of 1t. He would de-
eide after the razor was properly sharpened
Then he strapped away, and while he was
trying to cut hair a slice ~ voice came from
the next room: 'George, Uncle John brought
us gallon OF new maple syrup TO-DAY, and
we will have frtters and syrup for brea fast d,
acknowledgement like TO know" The razor
and the pistol we're lard away promptly; life
took on a more rOseate aspect, aud the ne \ t
morning after breakfast the "Rou gh on Rats
was carefully distributed along the trail of
troublesome vermin. George still continues
cheerful.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

1t turns out that the members OF the
Sunday night, and retained as prls-
oners in the barracks until Monday
morning, were not guilty OF q
violation Of any law of the State
or any ordinance of the city. Their
arrest WAS a grave mistake, which,
doubtless, the Chief OF Police regrets.
His knowledge OF the ordinance under
which the arrests We're made was correct,
but his information respecting the char
acter of the meetings which the Saliva
tIonists are holding was not.
The police authorities are, OF course,
liable 10 make mistakes, some OF which
may be productive of great harm. They
ought, therefore, to satisfy themselves as
| fully as possible that the inform alton
which they propose to make the basis OF
their course OF action is reliable. The
salyationists think that the arrest Of
some OF their number led to the disgraceful
breaking up Of their Sunday night meet
| ing. Their reason for this opinion Is that
the arrests were interpreted by lawless
! characters to mean that the meeting was
| an unlawful one, and that the police,
therefore, would not protect it. The Sal
vationists may or may not be right in
their view of the case. 1t is certainly
not an improbable view. The rowdy ele-
ment 10 quick to take advantage of any
license, real or apparent.
In view Of the fact that some members
OF the Army had been arrested and that
there was great crowd in aud about the
hall where the meeting was held it can
hardly be deemed otherwise than an over
sight that no police were at tina meeting
or in the vicinity OF it. The only reason
thatpresents itself for their absence is
that it may have been thought that no
disturbance was probable because nearly
all Of the Salvationists were in the lock-
up.
1t is gratifying that no one was seri
ously injured. The situation was very
serious for q while, however, and it was
only chance that there were no casual
ties. The hall was crowded and the stair
way is narrow. Had the crowd, COM
posed OF excited men and frigh tened
women, started for the street with a rush
several lives might have been lost and
many injuries received.
There are many, doubtless, who have a
very decided prejudice against the Saliva
tionists, and would gladly see their meet.
ings prohibited. 1t is certain that much
has appeared in the public prints to their
discredit. Whether or not they have been
slandered is not now the question. AS
long as they conduct themselves decently
in this city, and their meetings are re.
spectacle and in violation of no law they
must be treated properly and given the
same protection which other law-abiding
persons within the city's limits have.
There are those who enjoy their meetings,
and doubtless hope to, receive good from
them. They, too, are entitled to. protec-
ton whiFeya ttending religious services
conducted by the Salvation Army.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
"Johnnie-Come-Lateiy."

Iron, tho Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The commandant was q bluff old dragon,
who had bravely followed the fortunes OF
"old Zach Taylor" during the Mexican war,
and whose idea of discipline, although strict,
was by no means that of a martlnet. One
thing only served to annoy him, and that " as
any attempt at familiarity on the part of q
subordinate in rank. Connected with one of
the troops" was a danditied young lieuten-
ant, who, having graduated at the head of his
class at West Point, appeared to entertain
the notion that he was of some Importance.
Whenever ne CHANGED to be placed III au-
thorty as officer of the day. whose duty it is
to zee that the routine of the camp is strictly
carried out. he invariably involved himself in
some difficulty. 1t was his custom 10 unneces-
sarly pass at least dozen times during the
DAY in front of the guard mouse. This action
necessltated the turning out OF the guard
every time he maue mis- appearance In oruer
to render the customary salute.
The soldiers cordially hated him and be-
slowed upon him the sobriquet of johnnie
come-lately." He was not long in discover
ing this fact, and becoming in consequence
highly incensed inaugurated series OF petty
annoy&nces to the men that resulted In nearly
two-thIrds Of the latter being placed in the
guard-house by his order anu for the purpose
OF being tried before a court-martial. The
Commandant was wild on discovering that
some Of the best soldiers In his command
were being prosecuted by a nincompooD, and
he at once ordered the latter before him.
"What the devil do yOu mean, sir" he
roared, "by combining half my commando"
1.-The men are in state of mutiny," trem-
blingly replied the lieutenant" and besides
their impudence has reached such height
that they call me Johnny-come- lately' TO my
face"
WHAT" fairly howled the irate comman-
der, ''ls it for that reason you have been per-
scouting them?" Why. d you, sir, have
been, man and boy, over forty years in the
service and the name the men best know me
by is Old Boots Get out of my presence and
orfpr every prisoner to be released"
Thelieutenant was so mortified that he hast
tened to effect an exchange with AN infantry
officer, and to this day is still known by
the distasteful sobriquet even by the ladies of
the army,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
The Whitn.x K.hu

From Wdshtn0t Letter to New York Times.
An interesting incident will be the chris.
tening Of the Cabinet baby on Easter MONDAY.
Every detail has been decided upon. The
christening ~ TO take place in st. johns
church at 80 in the afternoon. The baptism
will be by DR.. Leonard, the rector OF the
church. st. Johns has been, through many
administrations until this one. the court
chapel. IL isa venerable ana historical old
church. and IL is related that Anirew Jack
son stood sponsor In IL Tor several infants.
The godmothers have not yet been decided
upon, but IL IL likely the President will figure
IN the ceremony as sponsor. The name IL TO
be Dorothy, Mira. Whitney's seloction. he
cause u IL "a family name. and also because
blrs. Madison, who WAS always dolly" Mad
lson, favorite historic personage with
Mrs. whitney. Tea will be served at the
secre kArf 4 mepAon after the christening.
aud eyefythinr s4ll be on "A scale OF simple.
w ana. eleKAnfek for which tue host and
hqtfts9 hasc 4 patlonal reputation
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

A few newspapers express surprise
because the Chief OF the Chicago police
force told his men, the other day, that he
wanted them 10 "vote for law and order,'
in the approaching municipal election.
There 10 no occasion for surprise. Con-
sidsrIng how the Chicago police force suf-
fsred at the hands OF the Anarchists, the
Chiefs advice was not out Of place. Be-
bidss. the Chiefs advice was good on
general principles. The police force OF a
sl;y Is employed to uphold law and order,
and TO be consistent the member of the
force ought always to ''Vote for law and
order,0
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

Prominent Republicans are talking of
Offering ex-senator Malone the chair
manship OF the Republican N ational Com.
mIttee. They regard him ~ one Of the
best political organizers ia the eountry
Should he accept the Craftsmanship the
Republicans will make hard fight next
year, In Virginia, North Carolina, South
Carolina and Tennessee. Malone
.lwouldn't be- able TO do much toward
breaking the political solidity Of the
South. He il DO thoroughly disliked in
the South that his acceptance Of the
ehairmanship would injure tho Ropubli-
saa cause rather than aidit.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

NJ. Alexander Dumas appears to have
increased his popularity IN France by a
little attack on the memory OF Victor
Hugo az late reception ut tue Academy
IN Paris. After dwelling upon Victor
HuEo's superlative vanity. and after de-
nounoing him as poSeur, he pronounced
the words, "Vlctor Hugo would have en-
braced the monarchy If he had been able
to become King; he would have beco me
the champion of Catholicism IL he had
been able to become Pope"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

A* Theodore Tllton is said to be ON his way
back TO the United States from Europe,
6nd a woman is alleged TO be the cause OF
his return. She Is Mis-. Louise Curtis
Bullard, who Inherited fourth interest
ID the patent medicine known as Mrs.
Ninslow's Soothing Syrup. Tilton be-
&ame infatuated with her before he went
so Europe, and he is now coming home TO
marry her. IL is TO be hoped that his
experience with Mrs. Billiard will be
more soothing than that with ois former
xxfF
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

From tho Felo York EUening Post Ind.)
1t would rebound TO the credit of the coun-
try and to the benefit of the Irish II the reso-
lutions which State Legislatures are passing,
protesting against the Irish coercion bills.
were drafted by men of sense and education.
waving the question Of pr0priety-w on
such an occasion many people will think a
small matter-it remains highly desirable
that American expressions Of dlsapprobation
OF British legislation should lie expressed in
such manner as not to excite the rldicule
and contempt OF the persons to whom they
are Addressed
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

The Democrats OF Rhode island ar
making a gallant fight to redeem that
State from Republican rule. Among the
issues of the pending guosrnatorial cam
paign is that OF suffrage. Under the
constitution of the State large numbe
OF citizens are DISTINGUISHED. 1t requires
a three-fths vote to amend the constitu-
ton, and the Democrats have not hereto.
fore been able to cast the requisite vote.
Many Republicans have united with the
Democrats in the pending campaign,
however. and the prospects OF overthrow
ing the existing order OF things are
bright.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
Lost in the Woods.

From the Washington Star IND
The great Virginia Democratic bolt against
the administrations of which so much has been
sara and written, Sc ms TO nave gone on some
where and got lost IN the woods. Certainly
legislative halls in RichmOn e, Forty seven
members. expressing their preference of
second term for Cleveland. make the average
OF TWO apiece for the five other candidates
look ust trihe weak
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

The express companies will not relish
Judge Cooley's decision that they are
amenable to the interstate commerce law.
They have been congratulating them
selves that they were not to be bothered
and ANNOYED by IL,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

Believing it Impossible to find man
large enough to ill Mr.. Beecher's place,
the members Of Plymouth church have
determined to Gil the place with several
men. They propose to appoint co mint
tee to ssruuv the church.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

OF the whisky sold at Fall River, Mass,
1t is said, "a man can sharpen his pen
knife upon the smell of it," Well, whis-
Ky often straps man, and there is no
yeason why the smell shouldn't strap as
small a thing as penknife.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

1t will interest the Savannah friends of
Mr.. Joel Chandler Harris to know that he
is to figure in a grand gathering of Eng
disappearing literary people to be held
in honor of Queen Victorias jubilee at
Windsor Castle in June.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

The annual production of beer in this
country is said to be seven gallons to
each man, woman and child. AS women
and children seldom drink beer, no man
need fear that he will be obliged to limit
himself to seven gallons.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

The only pension now paid by the gov
eminent for service in the revolutionary
war goes 70 Abigail S. Tilton, of New
Hampshire. whose husband fought at the
battle OF Bennington. This is very
strange when it is remembered that every
now and then "a veteran who saw WASH
ington at Yorktown" gets his name in the
1ewepapers.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

Six more Mormon elders have arrived
at Chattanooga, whence they will 20 into
East Tennessee on PROSECUTING tour. 1t
IL said that they expect to send several
carloads OF converts TO Utah in few
weeks. The Mormon elder is becomia <
entirely TOO common Ia the South.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

A Minneapolis man advertises for a
house keeper of commanding height. Let
him get wife; she will be commanding
enough to suit him, and he will not have
time to worry about the matter of height.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

Hon. n. @. Taylor, father Of Governor
Taylor, of Tennessee, is dead. Mr.. Tay-
Tor was q teacher and preacher in his
latter days, but previous to the war he
was in politics. He was a Wing, and
served In Congress from 1856 to 1860.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05

IL American authors wish to achieve
fame in their own country, they must
print their works in England. The
American "dtme library pirates" will
then see that the works are circulated at
home.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
An impending CAtastrOphe.

FTOnn the NemDhjs AcGLtnchs (DsD1.)
Some OF these days one of the signs which
the Republicans imagine they see OF olsanec,
ton among Democrats in the south Will tall
down and mash a few OF them.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-05
Discussing a summer Problem.


Where shall We go this summer" said he:
up to the mountains, or down to the sea,
Out 'on the road where. hundred day,
The trains rush by in that wonderful way.
Or shall we take longer jaunG,
And run over 10 Europe with your auntS"
Never word my lady fair
Answered him, rs she fixed her hair
For her mouth was full of hairpins, her head
She gracefully shook, as at last she said:
My brown brocade needs TO be made
Entirely over, or l can't wear IT,,
My satln--for which you haven't paid
Is too heavy entirely-I can't bear it;
For walking dress a dozen or less
Would be not too many-but haven't anvil
Four new bonnets / need indeed;
For shoes and slippers haven't penny,
dozen white dresses" here she finished
her trcsses--
"Would be quito enough" and she turne d
her head:
Yes, where TO 20, that's Just the rub"
But her terror-smitten lord had fled
He knew enough to go TO the club!
20 murine Rittsnhouss