The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-07-06
NASBY AND THOSE FLAGS.
Petroleum v. Was Present When the
Order for Their Return
Was Issued.
his Protests Then ignored but Afterward
Needed, and Thus He Secured the
Revocation of the Order.

am in Washinton jist now by invita-
shun Nv His Serene Eggslency the Presi-
dent ez a sort NV advisory comfy TO assist
In settlin SIGH ticklish questions ez ma
arise in the seeded States, wich is now,
thank heven, the Convent. | am here ez
sort Nv assistant adviser, my biznis bein
to thro out sejestions wich git credit for
. eff they ar bad and not acted onto, and wch
His Eggslency the President gets credit
To- or they ar good and adopted. Al gov
ments hev to hev SIGH men, wich is the
price Nv the offices they fl.
= Tie question wich wuz desided yisterdy
mornin wuz the wun Nv sendln bak TO the
Suthern States the flags and SIGH wich wuz
capchered from EN- by the Northern insur-
gents doorin the late fratrisidle struggle.
The Representatives NV the South INSISTED
that them flags shood be returned tn
whence they Originally came, becoz Their
remainin in the Capital. to witch they he'd
bin brot, wuz proof that they kim hither
by force, ez ii wer, wich wuz ruther agin
the theory so popler at the South that one
Suthern man wuz ez good ez five Northern
men; besides wich, it wuz time that the
South be consolidated agin.
/ remarked that to attempt to send bak
them flags and SIGH wood create feelin in
the North wich wood be oncomfortabl for
his Eggslency, and consistently for us.
"Why so?" wuz asked. Did he not veto
the penshun bill, and hez ther ben any up
risin about that? Eff he kin do thot, why
not this?"
"My liege and G antlemen," 1 replied,
"youll diskiyer that there's a thunderln
site Nv difrence between a penshun and a
a flag. There's many a soljer who woodent
thank We for penshun who vii raise SIGH
q hel ez 700 never dreamed Nv If We fetch
his military record. Them flags is his
military record, and eff l wuz in power
here shood let EN- severely alone. Troo,
there wuzn't any uprisin about the
penshuns, but the time for the up
rizin amt list at hand. That vii sho
itself next year. No man wood more like
to Sc them flags in the South wher we Good
safely kiver EN- with SIGH romances ez We
. chose; but lookin at it ez praktikle man,
= don't like it. hev offs. | never wuz
more comfortabl in my life. 1 hev nothin
speshly to do, and a good salary for not
doing it. | hev, for the fust time In my
life, credit at Bascom's, and the confidence
Nv the community III wich l reside ez to
fnanshel problems. l want his Eggslency
reelected in 'SS, for / don't want to be
hurled out Nv that comfortabl place like a
stun from a catapult, and be landed on the
cold and sterile roX Nv defeat. l prefer TO
stay. It's all we'll enuf this yeer, but ther S
another yeer jist ahed, and"
1--WE heerd enuf NV this kind Nv talk,
sed his Eggslency, with pertenshus frown
on his brow. I've heerd enutf Nv this
kind Nv talk, and wei dispense with it.
I'm responsible TO the Dimekratic party,
witch, by the way, am. Wat is the Dime
kratic party?" His royal Highnis labers
under the delooshun that all Their is Nv the
Yoonted States is the kentry south NV the
Ohio River and the lower wards Nv Moo
York CITY. He hes no noshun of anythin
else.)
Secretary Endicott said that ez q Massey
choosets man he wuz willin that this be
did. The South he'd bin beaten by scope
rior numbers, made up NV furrin hire]ins,
and he'd ben hoomiliated enuf. We ar now
apoligizin and maxim reperashen, and ez a
commencement they he'd bin given bak
everything they had afore the war and con-
siderably more. Ez Dimekrat it did him
good to see the South at the helum wunst
more. and when the South took the helum
he wanted her to be in controle Nv both
eends of the skooner. Troo, it made prac-
ticallv but little difference where the cap
chered flags RELY wuz KEEP, but ez the
South seemed to set stres onto hevin nv EN-
back. why the South bein the Convent, il
didn become the North to hev anything tC
say about it.
The order wuz determined upon and
ishood at about 10 a. m, and the mornir
wuz spent in innosent hilarity. Ginrel
Hercules McHammer Nv Mississippi sed
how wonderful is the finger Nv Providence
and how the Lord he'd showed up in the
matter of the late struggle. He (McHam-
mer) went into the war actily expectin tc
bust the old Convent and controle the hol
kentry by forse NV arms. But the Lore
rebooked our presumshen. he permitted
us to be whaled in the field to sho the
yooselisnis NV the Souths apeelin tC
arms so long ez they had the n orthern Di
mocrisy to depend upon. The South wul
crushed in the field, but wat happened
The Dimocrisy Nv the North cum promptly
to her aid, and To- wher ar we now? We
got bak into the Convent with the addish-
mel representashun that the niger popela-
shen gave US, without bein ut oil wOrieC
with the niger vote. We he'd electid
President from the North, it is troo, bu
that wuz only becoZ a Northern man allu7
wood do more for us than a Suthern, anC
Cat this pint Ginrel McHammer, who
chaws, and wuz salivatin permiscus, spi
onto the Presidents trousers, wich Secre.
tary Endicott wiped off, and the Ginre
perceeded) we he'd complete controle uN
the oftises, and wuz dictatin the polisy Nv
the Convent from stem to stern. The
President he'd vetoed the penshun bill, anC
in oil things else he'd done wat he WIZ or.
dered to do by them wich made him Presi.
dent. Ez to these flags, it made but little
difference wher they wuz kept; but inezmucl
ez it wood iritate the North. and be al
adishnel guarantee NV good faith and entir,
devoshen to the South on the part NV tn,
President, he shood insist that they be sen
South. 1t is CRATE thing to iritate til,
North.
General Rosser, NV Virginny, did no
want TO speshly iritate the North. H
wanted absloot peece, and he considered
this thing NV sending the flags South, s,
that they Good be safely lied over, wuz
step in the rite direckshen. But, in adishi
to returnin these flags, he shood insist upoi
some other things. Frinstance, laws shoe,
be passed perventin SIGH ruffians ez Genre
Sheridan from goin down the Shenando
Valley, remindin them shiyelrous peopl
NV the time when he went down there will
some blookoted Linkin ruffans behind him
and made il warm for the Confedrisy
Time and the offises hez mitgated tn
greefs nv the people nv that valley, bu
SIGH of them ez ar not absent holdin Con
sulates woodn't like to see Sheridan. w
are willin to permit Sheridan Iiv, but the
must be a limit to wat he does.
His Eggslency remarkt that of this WI
- 4 IL. -.