St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-03-21
ROMANCE AND RE AElTY.
A COnsul's Dreams DisPelled By
Sundry Unronantic Facts.


San Francisco Chronicle.
A consulship sounds very big-till you
get there. There are innumerable islands
in the South Pacific, and tribes who declare
war. fight, publish proclamations of defiance
and seem altogether extraordinarily heroic.
The United States sent consul to one
group lately wherein the ideal was grand
immense. Kneelng subjects i'll the shape
of American citizens; suppliant chiefs and
trembling kings, with all the at
tendant gOrgeOusnesS and dignity,
filled his minds eye. He busted
himself on al outfit laid i'll an
elegant dress suit, pair OF patent-leather
shoes. white ties. white gloves, and an
enormous diamond pin for his shirt front.
Thus equipped he sailed away with all the
conscious pride of a representative Of
grand republic. From the port he landed at
he was conveyed in small sailing vessel TO
the point OF officialdom. AS the ship entered
the offing, the flag of the United States
gayly flying at the masthead, the white
residents Of the island came off in small
boat TO welcome him. The new official
received them affably, was quite amiable,
and did not put on too many airs.
Come on shore with us and We'll pre-
sent you to the king" SAID the welcomerS.
1.-The king. l can't 20 up to the palace
in this dress. My trunks are in the hold. [
can't present myself to the king like this"
30, come with us. That's all right. You
can put on all your finery and call on him
again. He's waiting for you,
waiting for me?"
eyes. We told him the consul was COM
ing
Aud he's waiting for me? | don't
know what to do. | can't keep his majesty
waiting. but l can hardly go up i'll this
dress"
20, that will do. He wont mind
And they tumbled him into the boat and
took him on shore If you've ever tried to
step out of a boat on shelving beach you
know how it is yourself. He did it. He
stepped clear into the water and vent
rolling. He was in Quandary. The resi-
dents gathered the wet consul up. took him
to store, and got him into S12-hand-me-
down suit, which didn't fit him. 1t took a
long time to argue him into going then.
But they would have it. and off they went.
Look here. l don't feel comfortable at
all going up to the palace 10 make my first
appearance as consul in this miserable con-
dition. Where is the palace? Are We
near it?''
Quite. There it is.''
He looked and saw conical mud hut
with two square holes on opposite sides.
and gentle smoke fioated up through the
point of the roof, which was apparently a
vent hole.
''What?"
''That's the palace. The king and queen
are in there waiting for YOU"
They entered. In the center, in what
looked like kind of mire, sat fat, black,
dlgnited fellow. whose protection from the
nf no fhar =
cotton tied around his waist. BY his side
sat small. dark lady of acQuiescent, con-
tented mien, whose toilet had all fallen
around her waist, toO-at least, she hadn't
any anywhere else.
''Hullo.' said the newcomer in the Ian
guage of the country. -'Hullo, old chap,
how are you?" Then more politely, This
is the new consul from America
The new consul. who had been practic-
ing his bow ever since his application had
been filed. made an obeisance when a pig
suddenly ran in by one entrance, skipped
between his genuiiections landed him head
first in the mire. and skipped ont by the
opposite hole in the hut. All dignity was
outraged, but the king didn't mind it. nor
did the numerous royal family who Law
| around promiscuously without any toilet at
all. That's all right, old boy" said the
residents to the embarrassed consul.
We've got up ball for you tonight. and
you'll see the king and queen in style
there.
So the consul got his trunk out. got his
dress suit, his white tie. his white gloves
and his patent-leathers ready. and presented
himself at the hotel where the ball was
to be. The hotel was wooden frame with
mud roof. The king and queen entered
in grand style, with little more toilet of
loose kind, and the new consul came in
with the kings sister-a noble princess
and they all had a royal night of lit. Be.
fore the new consul had gone to bed in the
morning the princess royal returned from
the palace paid HIM a special CALL and
solicited his washing. He does not look
for any dignity in his position now. He is
looking for profit. A man ought to gain
something from being a consul.