davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
The Sn,,en Afraid OF RussIn.

A dispatch from Constontinople to
the London DaiV Nc'Cs says "1he
Government is alarmed at its neighbors
war preparations and the Sultan Is in-
curing as to the ACCESSIBILITY OF calling
out 80, 900 men for Erzeroum and Bul-
garia. 1t is stated that NJ. Nelidoff, the
Russian Ambassador to Turkey, has in
formed the Porte that unless the IN
dcmnity arrears, amounting TO ESQ, O00,
he paid Russia will be obliged to take
pledges on Asia Minor for the protection
of her interests.
"The Government is hampered for
money. A body OF marines whose time
he'd expired recently tried to force their
way into the Imperial Palace to demand
of the sultan their arrears of pay. They
were all arrested and imprisoned, and
afterwards they were paid a small sum
each and sent away from the cdpital to
prevent their complaints reaching the
ears Of the Sultan.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
WON auktnd.

The proverbs OF most countries are
rich in all subjects relating to woman,
although frequently they are far from
complimentary. Indeed, it is curious
that in some sources of literature we
should find 80 much ill-natured sar-
casn- oftentimes as unjust as il is UNI
true. On the other hand, many OF the
traits OF women's character are very
cleverly and apply depicted, and occa-
sionally put man IN an inferior light.
Thus the strength OF her influence is in
disputable, and has given rise TO a host
of old proverbs. Whatever woman
will, she eau, IA saying which has its
equivalent 10 other countries. Hence,
too, we arc warned how
"The mans a fool who thinks by force or skin
To stem the torrent OF woman's will;
For II she Will. she will, you may Oepend ont
Lpd II she womb. sho won't, and there's az end
ont"
With the lines may be compared the
common maxim "a woman convinced
against her Will is Of the same opinion
still" Whether il be called obstinacy OF
not there can be no doubt that astrong will
on the part Of q woman is no unenyiable
Characteristic being one, also, which is
invaluable 10 men when engaged in the
business OF life. The notion that wo.
man cannot keep a secret is embodied in
many progerb, and is alludedS to by
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
Killed and Nnng,ed bv tiogs.

SHELBYvILLE, IND, December 26.-
Mrs. Sarah G. Ewing, living four miles
west of here, was found dead in her barn
yard yesterday by her grandson. Her
body was terribly mangled by hogs,
which were with the greatest difficulty
driven off. During the absence OF her
daughter and the iatter's husband on Sat
urday the old lady had gone ont to milk
The hogs, it is thought, pulled her
down and Killed her.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
Gladstone OFF for the Continent.

tBy Apglo-Americap cable to tho pispGtchl
LONDON, December 26.-Gladstone
LEFT Hawarden to-day en- route for the
Continent. Five thousand persons gave
him an enthusiastic welcome on his ar
rival at Chester.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

"Thero was sound OF reyelry ly
night, and she had card but couldn't
go. all on account OF neuralgia. Her
fayorite dude, however, had level head,
and instead of bouquet brought Saliva
tion OIL. They went and were happy
once more.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
DEPARTURE OF STEAMERS.
DHUADELPHIA, RIG - ~
.,.IaxEa-sss
MOND AND NORFOLK
STEAMSHIP COMPANY

Appointed sailing days: Every TUESDAY
and FRIDAY at II NJ. AMI every SUNDAY ats
a. ".
Freight for Tuesdays and Friiay, steamers
received TIN 1l.3l A. IL; Tor sundays steamer
ulI5P NJ. saturday. Freight received daily tih
3 y. VI.
Fare. g..
For further information apply 10
y. W. McCARRICK,
General Southern Agent ONCE Rockets,
". T.. CLYDE & Co,
no2 General Agents Philadelphia.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

CEAMLESS FELT SLIP <M1
PEERS for GENTLEMEN, LADIES, BOYS. md
MISSES. No nails, no t9cks. no threat. Soft,
warm. plant, and easy. ALLIGATOR, SEAL,
GALE. KANGAROO, md GOAT SLIPPERS-an
the shapes and colors. OLD LADIES' FLANNEL
LINED QUILTED SLIPPERS. SLIPPERS from
eitos5 =. \. GRlGG,
dc-G Iacc Block.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
Testing the Lads Honesty.

A lawyer engaged new boy recently,
and, as he had suffered TO some extent
from the depredations of his former lad,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

IL TIE CIRCUIT OOrRr ~ THE COrsrY or IIEN-
Rico, NANCE -. Is>J-CATnAKINE \. EkbkDFN'
VINO SrEs. &c, AGAINST a. \. CLESS, TBus-
TEg. AND AIS:
hereby certify that thc bond required ny The
decree entered In this caso on The 18Th day OF
February. 1885, has boon fully executed
Given under my hand thie 2'th day on March,
1885. GEORGE ". OAhlhh'
40 II ClciS.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
DRUGS. 3IEoI,ISES, &c.

Hoyt's German Cologne, l5c.; regular price
%.
Four pounds OF Best Mixed Bird seed Tor
2Jc regular price i0c
Or. Bulps Cough syrup, BE; regular price
25c.
AlcockB Porous Plaster, lOc; regular price
20c
Warmers Kidney and Live: Cure, 81; regu-
lar price. si.25.
Lanman q Kemp's Genuine Florida Water,
SO. regular price. '5c.
Braudreths Pills, per box, i5c.; regular
price 25c.
switts Specific, largo, tl.9j; regular prco
il.i5
Swifts Specific. small. 75c.; regular price 81.
FrGyser's Neryo and Bono Eminent. l5c;
regular price 25c.
Meaie Is Bator's Carbolic Mouth-Wash. Sjc.;
regular price zoe.
Wyeth's Beef Iron and Wine, 10.
Browns Iron Bitters, 75c.
DIR. Pierce's Medical Discovery, 15c.
An elegant assortment OF perfumery ~ 20 20
80 Dor cent lesn Than sold elsewhere
Sc 25-Su, Tu&IhCm
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
old DOMINION STEAM a t';4-7>
" SHIP COMPANY. e-ssasa ~
FOR nav YORK.

FOR EhW YORK.
steamers leave Richmond EVERY TUESDAY
and FRIDAY at l.. NJ.
steamers leave New York for Richmond
EVERY WEDNESDAY AMI SATURDAY at T.
". arr wing In Hchm0ni MONDAY and FRI
DAY MOkAlNGS.
Passenger accommodations unsurpassed.
Cabin fare 20 New lork ria Jamcs-riycr
route Including meals and BERTH ...-....s 90
Round Trip tickets, limited 10 thirty days
after date Of Issue OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES II ~
Storage with subsistence ................. d ID
Stcerage without subsistence. .....-.-.-... 3 %
Cabin fare Uid Chesapeake and ONO rah-
Cabin fare ria kichmond and Petersburg
reilrOad. w -
Tickets can be obtained at A. ". Garber's, 1909
Main street Chesapeake and Ohio and klrh-
mOnf and Petersburg depOts. 0nI at cOmpanys
Offices. 1871 Main street. aui wharf hockctts.
treights forwarded and through bills Of laiins
issued for points beyond New YORK.
Freight received daily until hour Of sailing.
Passengers leaving Richmond on MONDAYS.
TUESDAYS. WEDNESDAYS, THURSDAYS, AMI
SATURDAYS by the Chesapeake and ohio rail-
way ,ufa Newport Newz) AZ A. ~. ard by
Richmond aud Petersburg railroad same days.
al Oi9 4. NJ. will make connection at NOR-
FOLK with steamer leaving those day.
GEORGE ". ALLEN & CO., Agents,
No 1901 Main street, and
uO2} COmpAuy's WHAT. RO.kettS.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
DICHMOND, FREDaElcho.'A
III AND POTOMAC RAILROAD
IHESAPEAKE AND OHIO 80, b
y SCHEDULE TAKING EWES.
NOVEMBER a., ls>..


LEAVE RICHMOND.
s.oo A. II. for Newport News. OH
fort, aud NoriONk daliy.
l,:O5 A. VI. Through aud Loeai SOL '9 nj.
West. except sunday. r.e'.
onF.go o. Huntington.
3.c0 = NJ. Tor tewuorf NeW>. uli lNn'
Norfolk. cXeep, sunday
400 L. VI. Charlotte willie Acc"n.ni'
cept sunday.
0.a5 +. NJ. tor Louisville, Ciue.nat.r
~ iOlis. Memphis. a'
ieans-Fast kKpre--
Pullmans daily. only
Puilmaus West from D.
ARRIVE ~ RICHMOsD;
$50 A. NJ Charlottesville Accom-
cept sunday
l1,s5 A. VI. from Norfolk. Ola r0n-
port News. tx 'ept Suli.F
$40 T.. NJ. from local points AMI
cept sunday.
Clio p. VI. from O,d Point Newp
Norfolk daily.
800 p. NJ. from Louisville 8ni Ciu-..h
Express daily.
DeDO.. Seventeenth and Broad
Tickets az 100 Main street nnt a.
n S.
General Pa,-tf-
WILLIAMS {. WIcKHAH. Receive
and ONO rail say aud Second
Newport News anl Mtsi,e4i.
pany
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
By George W. Mayo. Auctioneer.
Ono. L. Leughton. Jr.. Salesman
No. a Ninth street.

DESIRABLE COLLECTION OF
~ HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE, CARPETS.
OIL-PAINrINGS. &C, AT AUCIlON.-By dlrec-
ton Of the representatives. or the estate o.
Alfred z. harris, deceased, I small sell ~ auc-
ton on
WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER =. 1897.
az i0'< o'clCca AZ the residence corner Firth ana
Franelin streets. an Of the FURNITURE Ia the
house. consisting Of
ROSEWOOD PAKLOB SUIT;
PsRLOR CHAIRS and SOFAS; -
BOOKCASES. HALL-CIlAtKS. HALI~RACh;
BEUcSkLS and other tErEIS;
One MAHOGANY INlNG-tABLk. pedesta'
frame. ~ feet long.
MAHOGANY CAED-HAbIt':
\ desirable lo;cf CEoCkENI, CUi-GLAs5, ard
other WARES.
Beside n desirable collection q llOJ ~tiicLO
GOODS. GEORGE =. MAlO.
de.i AuctiCncCr.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

Mayor Smoot, Of Alexandria is dead.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
Auction SALES.--FUTURE Bags.
BY Fred. II. Williams, Auctioueer.
No. pig north Nineteenth street.

GOLD AND SILVER WATCHES,
N JEWELRY. MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS,
CANES, &c. AT ACCllON.-On
DECEMBER 33Tu AND 3lsT.
40 10 A. VI. aud ( 2. NJ. the balance Of stock AZ
No. li9j east Main streaA save positive and
without limit or reserve. See advertisement in
next Thursdays paper ..,,,.,.,
dor Aurt.oneer.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
RAILROAD LINES
III "a Ss..ss.i ;5ysszsss sgsSz7z
NORFOLK AND WESTERN Pr
~ ROAD. 'iS

III ~ " ~ ''f|-f7s sffbSsy
NORFOLK AND WESTERN RAT,
~ ROAD. ''
SCHEDULE ~ EFFECT DgcgvBge 49,
TWO DAILY TRAINS TO NoRYorv
TWO DAILY TRAINS TO LYNcHBrs.
LEAVE RICHyoSp
1919 A. VI. Daily, rid Richmond anfr.....
railroad. Arrive ~ r.'rr... 2
A. y. arrive % Norf .k
1000 a. VI. Daily, ria hlrhmlud snl r,..
railroad. Arrive 90 prtrr. ~.
A. VI. 40 ioaVcs Prfn-..
4. " for Fhrmviiic. irr.. ..
noto, Bristol, hn0EaI..
points sOuin and west
THROUGH CAR 10 LYNrU..'..
COS p. NJ. Daily, ria kirhmDlg a.I ...
railroad. Arrive lef.r.
NJ lotyO Petpr-DArg DID,. . %
Rrriving Norfolk o.. g.
car Richmond i1 S0f
Cos +. ". Daily. rid Rirnmuul ono ....-
railroad arrive a
r. ". connecting
leav.ug Petersburg
Ea.invilc, LylehDurz
f0i. knoxville, tnnfl
point. south AMI wosf
PULLMAN sLEEPfNC-CAk ...,.
TlONS.
No. i-Sloepingcar from Peior' .st.
without change, ami Lyuohou.s
without change.
40. g-lyuchburg ~ New Or',-
noke % Cha'iano1cs. without change
tickets asggaks-chcrgs. and al
cen be Obtained M Richmond nrf
railroad depot. s. ". Darbfrs "a. i.h
aud 40 the company 0m.n. ..
streets. II. B0WgAN, Pc 4cuf'r 'r
~. g.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

JAVES RIVER By DAYLIGHT
GREAT TOURIST LINE.
JAMESTOWN, DUTCH GAP, AND WAR
SCENkkl.
CHEAPEST ROUTE
RATES LESS THAN HALF CHARGED BY
RAIL LINES.
PHYSICIANS MkALS.
The elegant and fas, steamer
AkIaL.
carrying United states hal)
CAPTAIN DENO.
leaves Richmond every
MONDAY, WEDN ESDAI. AND FRIDAY AZ
A. M. (srREEf-CAks CONNECT IN FULL
TIMt0 tor aboye-nsIned pla.es. arriving at Nor
folk ABOUT $50 4. NJ. keta@uing, tho steamer
leaves Norfolk aud Newport News on alternate
days, arriving NJ i,ichmOnd about ) 2. NJ.
Through ticgets % ABOVE named points on sale
on steamer anu az CARRIERS Agency, 1000 Main
street. Baggage checked through.
STATE ROOMS ENGAGED FOR DAY
on NIf.uI
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

WANTED, A WOMAN WITHOUT
W incumbrance 70 COOK AND WASH fora
small family. Apply al No. ~; east Main street.
H.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

WANTED. \ SETTLED WOMAN
w as COOK. Gcoi home Inquire, with
recommendations, ut II cast Main street
DO g1-it'
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
RAILRoAo LENE>.
Leave ArriNe
No. nichmonl. IoleraOuIg.
Leave AlrfVn
D. Petersburg, Ri'AMoui.



SIOPPING-PLACES.
Nos. y and II mike no stops No. p STOPS
only ca signal az Manchester and Chester 40.
Is stops only On signal Ht Chester, tontrana.
AMI Manchester. NO. - stops on signal at az
regular stations. No Go stois 600 signal m all
regular stations and also at Tcmp'e'- ana Port
Wa than Nos. 81. g. -, 81, %, AMI %, viii stop
at All stations for passengers.
PULLMAN-CAR SERVICE.
OnTrains Nos. II and - -leepine-cars between
New NorE ami Tampa, ria. ga JGck'ouFlil-i
ON Trains Nos. II and g -.eeping-chrs between
Washington and Charleston. ON Train 40. -
-Iccuing.car3 bctwccn Washington Hui JACK
e0nyUIe. ON Train 40. - ~ieepiug gears between
Jacksonville ani New York
THE ONLY ALL-RAIL LINE TO NORFOLK.
LEAVE. ARRIVE.
Richmond 'l0.49 A. ". Norfolk. J.. VI.
lN,hiuoud. 800 =. VI. Norfolk .......J:-5 =. VI.
Norfolk. e.. 1910 An. Richmond. .iglj =. v.
Norfolk 1850 T.. VI. Richmond. $50 }. VI.
These trains also make close connections Tor
FarmyilIe, ynchburg. aud southwestern points,
and an stations on the sorfolk and Western rail-
road. cxcep; tho 1919 train Passengers for
points Yves. OF Petersburg should take mo ID
train instead. X. VI. ii LII,
superintendent
T. T. y. MYERS. General SUP eriutenicnt
7. VI. IMMERSION, General Passenger agent
S0r. HAS. Traffic Manager. delS
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

WANTED. THE PUBLIC TO CALL
w and inspect the GREENHOUSES at 1912
east Marshall street Orders promptly Oiled.
Designs vi the newes. styles az reasonable
p~ires de lin
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

CONNECTIONS
AZ NORFOLK closely win all lines for Old
Point, Baltimore, Pnisdelph.s, and New York
same afternoon:
and Smithheld, Va.
And az CLAREMONT with tho Atlantic and
Danyllle railroad Tor Mayery, liickstord, &c.
ONLY ALL-WAIEk ROUTE
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27

BY George $. Nasho1 * sou.
,oal Estste Agents end Aucuonoors,
No. = Tenth street.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-12-27
ANRINE EIIUWUNU.
1908 T.. ". MAI.Gaily except sunday.
g3j \. II. ACCOMMODATIONS daily

CONNECTIONS.
At clifton Forge with Chesapeake a.'
railway for mo -outh. We-t. nul Nur.nt
AZ Lynchburg wi'u Norfolk AMI Is
TOai for nh points South, southeast. a..
west. and Virginia Midland railway i0r
North AMI south.
At Richmond with Associated lalNl.-
points ia tho south. ami Richmond. BIZ.
burg aud Potomac railroad fNr a." N.'
Al Lexington with Baltimore hri OIL
road. making close connection % OH
Ferry 90 ana from Pittsburgh ana '.
o. points North sni Fast.
Neeyng-cdr atiachei 20 AFif fr
burg.
S,eepinc-cars Lynchburs 'o Non,
leans. and Little Rock
Trains marked r daily aX'.f
Tickets sold 90 al points
Main street, 1900 Main --in-t l-i i'
aud Alegnany depot EicAn lnl 'tt
JOHN D. NflN.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-13
Longevity of The Sexes.

The Hebrew women are the longest
lived, and the colored men the shortest.
1t appears from the gathered statistics
Of the world that women have greater
tenacity of life than men. Nature wor-
ships tie female in all its varieties.
Among insects the male perishes at a
relatively early period. In plants the
seminate blossoms die earliest, and are
produced in the weaker limbs. Female
quadrupeds have more endurance than
males. In the human race, despite the
intellectual and physical strength of the
man, the woman endures longest, and
will bear pain to which the strongest
man succumbs. Zymotic diseases are
more fatal to males, and more male
children die than female. Deverga as
serts that the proportion dying sudden
ly is about 100 women to 700 men; 1880
men in the United States, in 1870, COM
mitted suicide, to 5S5 women. Intem-
perance, apoplexy, gout, hydrocerha-
lus, affections of the heart or liver, scrof-
ula, paralysis, are far more fatal to
males than females. Pulmonary con-
sumption, on the other hand, is more
deadly to the latter. Females in cities
are more prone TO consumption than in
the country. All old countries not dis
turbed by emigration havea majority
of females in the population. In royal
families the statistics show more daugh-
ters than sons. The Hebrew woman is
exceptionally long-lived; the colored
man exceptionally shOrt-lved. Tie
married state is favorable TO prolonga-
tion of life among women. DIR. Hough
remarks that there are from TO per
cent. more males born than females, yet
there is an excess Of more than 6 per
cent. of females in the living pOpula-
tiOn
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-13

The scientific investigator, and nota-
bly, the experimenting chemist, incurs
dangers that would be likely to appall
the most valiant fighters, and he meets
them calmly and deliberately, not In
hot blood and excitement. Familiarity
with danger breeds recklessness, IL not
contempt, aud the chemist will coolly
taste with the tip of his tongue any un.
known liquid that may be handed 70
him. Prussic acid Is about the only
thing he will not put into his mouth,
but he can recognize that without tast-
ing IL. He will make all sorts Of chem.
ical combinations, and try them to see
IL they are explosive or otherwise dan
gerous, and sometimes he discovers In
a very unpleasant way that his new
product is loaded. Dulong. In ISL,
discovered chloride Of nitrogen, and
when he recovered consciousness amid
the wreck OF all the glassware In his
laboratory. he made note, with his
unwounded hand, OF the fact that
chloride of nitrogen is highly explosive.
About year afterward, la trying 10
ascertain the exact conditions necessary
to explode the compound, he lost an eye
and two fingers. Davy, in the same
year, had a similar adventure with the
new explosive. A tube containing
small quantity was suddenly shivered
to atoms without any apparent cause,
and a piece of the glass struck Davy In
the corner of the right eye, disabling
him from further Immediate expert
ments.
Pliny, the elder, lost his life by ven-
turing near vesuylus "a Investigate the
interesting phenomena of the eruption
of August, A. ID. 70. lie was suifocated
by the sulphurous fumes. Lehman,
professor OF chemistry, at the Imperial
Museum of ST. Petersburg, was killed
In 1867 by inhalation Of fumes from
strongly-heated arsenical mixture. Ber-
thollct proposed In l7sS TO substitute
the chloride of potassium for the nitrate
in the manufacture of gunpowder, aud
while experimenting at Essoune pro-
duced terrible explosion that kiliei
the director of the government works
and you < lady. Berthollet aud Law
oisier were both present, but escaped
injury. Lavoisisr was guilloiined In
1894. Pellctier, the elder, made
special study of combining phosphorous
and chlorine with the metals, and the
breathing Of the yapors induced con-
sumption, Of which he died. In lsOS
Barruel rubbed fulminat ting mercury In
an agate mortar and had portion OF his
hand blown of. The next year Figuier
put sixty grains of the same stun In
glass-stoppered bottle and took IL into
the lecture room at Montpelier. When
he removed the stopper, the friction
caused an explosion that destroyed one
of the chemists eyes. Tbenard was
lecturing In 1925 TO the chemistry class
of the Polytechnic School In Paris, and
moistened his throat with two mouthfuls
OF corrosive sublimate instead Of sweet
ened water. Gentlemen" he said, "l
have poisoned myself; what | have
taken Is corrosive su5limate, and the
remedy is white Of eggs. Bring me
some eggs" The students rnided all
the stores and kitchens In the neighbor-
hood, and the professor was supplied
with eggs enough to save his life.-Nev
York Tribune.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-13
S4EPHERDsIOWN v. VA. FRIDAY, MAY 13 1887
ado you think I've suddenly lost my

"Do you think I've suddenly lost my
memory? Mrs. Bowser, you talk to me
as If was half idiot"
went up and. got the tape line aud
brought it down to him. He was caught.
but what did he do but assume an air Of
awful dignity and say:
"MrS. Bowser, don't you ever dare to
! ] any trick on me again! \ joke is
joke, but when you sneak into the yard
and carry my tape line up into the gar
ret it is going altogether too farp'
suppose there are some men who
keep some track of their hats, gloves,
rubbers, ETC., when at home, but Mr..
Bowscr isn't of that kind. Each morn
ing after breakfast l am prepared for
the examination:
"There! Some of youhave been fool
ing with my hat"
"Isn't 1t on the hall-tree:"
"If it was, would stand here asking
for il? | don't think I've gone blind
yet"
"Didn't you leave it in the sitting
room?"
"Of course didn't! | hung it up
here rs | came home, and some of you
have probably been using it to store po-
tatUes in."
The hat is found OH a chair in the sit
ting-room, just where he placed it, aud
after more grumbling he goes into the
hall for his rubbers and shouts back:
"They are gonew
"What?"
"My rubbers! I'll be hanged if l
stand this thing much longer. You or
the cook have got to let my rubbers
alone, or III know the reason why"
care you sure you left them there?''
cam sure Pm alive? You've prob
ably cut 'em up to make door hinges or
some fancy nOnseGse!"
Here they are, Mr.. Bowser. You re-
member you took them off by the radi-
ator as you stood telling me about the
railroad accident"
81 don't remember anything of the
sort! suppose my gloves are down in
the coal bin, and my scarf has been
given to the boys to play horse with.
III come in by way of the barn after
this, and when | take my things off I'll
lock 'em up and slip the key down my
boot leg"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-05-13
The Cross.eyed Clerk.

During the late Christmas holidays
large firm in B. employed as an as
sistant cle5k a young man who was ex-
ceedingly cross-eyed.
The especial duty assigned to him was
to act as watchman, and prevent the
peculation of all sorts Of small fancy ar
ticles that were lying about the counters
for exhibition at that time.
One day a half grown boy came into
the store, and after looking all around,
pricing first one thing and then arother.
among which were some very nice
socks, he finally started to 90 out of the
door.
AT this moment the new clerk touched
him lightly on the shoulder, and invit-
ing him to come to the back part of the
store, and said to him politely: "Oblige
NE by giving me at once the socks that
Won have in your back pocket
GLOW DO you know have socks in
my back pocket?'' demanded the boy in
bold tone.
81 saw you put them there" said the
clerk, very gently.
The boy looked up into the young
mans face in utter amazement. Are
you locking at me nowf" he asked. earn
estly. "Do you see me this very min-
ute 2" he asked, still more earnestly.
:'Of course do" replied the clerk.
Good Lord, mister" cried the boy,
with blanching face; "herss yOuT
,ocks." And with bound he was out
the back door, over the fence, and away,
having learned lesson concerning all
seeing eyes, which, it is hoped, he may
never forget.-HarpeTs Magazine.