The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-14
BRIGHT BITS.

NOTHING more quickly curdles the milk Of
human kindness which lrrigateS the creamy
purity of the bosom OF a mlikman than for a
customer TO order pint of the lacteal fluid and
then tell him to chalk it down. '-HdrttoTd
Sunday Journal.
"GEoRGE, DEAR" she said reproachfully, as
she chung fondy around his neck, why will
you eat raw onions when you know you are
coming to see me!"
Merely to test your love, my precious" re-
piled George.-ErchGHge
OFF THE TRACK-Miss Bas Bleu-Are you very
fond of reading, Mr.. Downtown?
Mr. Downtown-Fair to middling.
Miss B-Have you read Homo Sum-"
Dir D.-No, never was fond of arithmetic,
and when was at school couldn't even get to
on the Iliad.-Pack.
GUEST at country tavern-Have you any
cheese, landlord?
Landlord-Not bit in the house, sir.
Guest--Not even little piece?
Landlord-By gum, there is. come to think
Here, Pete, run down cellar and fetch up that
rat tTap.-Detrott Free Press
SAY BUB, l hear that your folks are going
to have a conversation club at your house this
winter"
Yep; we got one"
VINO are the members?"
me and mother. 1 furnish the conversation
and mother provides the club. Emmy more?'-
Detroit Free Press.
FIRST GENTIEMAN-''Se that cab horse? Well.
Anchor, but now he is only the cab horse Elk
celslor."
Second Gentleman-''What on earth do they
call him Excelsior for?n
First Gentleman Because he stands for hire.
Ta-ta. '-Harper'S BGzaT.
''SIR, said the prisoner Il did not pay this
man for my refreshments, because L know
nothing of the value of money. l never pay my
debts. am a child of genius"
And what is your age?" asked the Justice.
"fOrtY-tWO years. -
Then it is time you were weaned,' and his
honor gave him thirty days away from the bot
tle.-Pittsbmg Dispatch.
MANAGER OF OPERA-Mr. Editor, your paper
says that our company should be suppressed, that
respectable people would not patronize it, and
that the ballet Is diS2raceful.
said"
who wants you to? Here's $40 and passes
for your family. When man treats me white
| appreciate IT, Whoop 'er up some more
Nebraska State Journal
WE are a long ways ahead OF the heather
When Chinese banker defaults peculateS or
irregulateS, the government takes off his head
But in our happier land the banker takes off his
own head, and the rest of his anatomy with it to
a land beyond the lakes, thus saving the expense
of q trial and the dishearttening spectacle of a
public execution. Even if the government gets
Judgment the agile one beats it on execution
So does pianiSt.-Bttrdette.
A coNJuGAL CONVERSATION overheard in a
street car: What are you going to give me on
the 18th, dearest? You know that it is my birth
day"
'It is date l never forget, darling. I shall
give you 500"
oh, how lovely! I'm going to buy that ex-
quisite wrap"
Excuse me, love. l give you the 500 to pay
the rent" Sulks.-BostOR Herald.
IT was Judge Mcmahon, quite well-known in
the State. and especially in Olmsted county,
who, one fine morning, met Sam Written an
other state character. Said the Judge: What s
your nationality, SAM"
Irish
And what church do you belong to?'
Methodist"
And what party?n
Republican,
well" commented the Judge, that's the
- record | ever knew any man to have-an
Irishman. a Methodist and Republican. st.
Paul Globe.
"TH1s is all so sudden, Mr.. Sampson" she
said, with maidenlv reserve, and uneX-
pected that although confess am not entirely
Indifferent to you, hardly know what to say
! in reply to"
III you are in favor of the proposition, " sug-
gested Mr. Sampson, who. like Dick Swiveler,
is a Perpetual Grand Master, you will signify
your assent by saying aye"
AYE. - came softly.
Contrary
Nor Numbered the old man, opening the
door.
1.-THE noes have it by large majority said
Mr.. Sampson, reaching hastily for his hat.--SUn.