The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-04-10

Wont you allow me to escort a
lady to the theater2" whined the
man.
Not this one" said Madam. de.
cisively. And you will take her
out at once, or the morning papers
will be unusually unpleasant read
ing for you"
The woman was white with morti-
6cation, and the man had hardly
the strength to fish his hat out from
under his seat. But the two gath
cred their effects, and, under a bat
terry of amused glances, got out OF
the house.
| A lawyer showed me something
less than a peck Orletters written by
a society damsel IN the floor walker
OF dry goods store. He is a poor.
miserable, little dollar forty nine sort
OF article, but be ensnared the affec-
tons of the daughter of a twice
millionaire, who wrote to him epistles
of so combustible a nature that the
purchase OF fire escape was quite in
order. After expanding her amatory
ammunition in this reckless manner,
she turned her arsenal on higher
game. Augustus properly felt
chagrined, aud, at the instigation of
his fellow clerks, thought to bring suit
tor breach of promise The girl, who
is engaged advantageously, is pulling
her hair out, aud Pa having none to
pull out, CRASHES his store teeth, and
is moving heaven and New York to
hush the matter up. No doubt it
will end in Augustus having a little
dry goods store, in some neighboring
town and Maria getting her letters
back and marrying in peace. But
those letters 1t is an awful shame
if the public should not get them.
"Ovid's Art Of Love" is the New
England primer beside any one of
them. They begin with my Dear
Baby" and end with Your
FOndest Baby" In one of them
she says: Were you not thinking
of me at half past nine last
night2 | tried to keep my
mind on the play, but | saw your face
everywhere, with that same express
sion it had when we we're in the cal
leo department" Again she says:
Don't forget what you promised me
at the glove counter and further
along she alludes to that lovely time
among the underwear" and finishes
with, until | see you at the notion
counter tomorrow, my precious baby,
be good, and think of your fondest
baby" When will the idiots cease
to address each other as baby3 Every
scandal suit, every breach Of promise
case developes new baby. The
only time | ever really enjoyed hear.
ing woman called baby was
few years ago on the platform
of the Leayonworth depot. Miss
Susan B. Anthony, as grim-featured
us the unw.nking Sphynx amid the
sands OF Egypt, was grimly seeking
amid pile Of baggage for the old
hair trunk that contained her vestal
vestments, when an irreverent rail
road employe came up and said
What's the matter, Baby-lost your
trunkW shall never forget the
exterminating look Of that old war
rior as she turned her spectacles on
him. But that's the ouly time / ever
saw or heard woman resent the APP
pellation, though she might be 80 |
years old and weigh 200 pounds.
Some writer lately gave it as an
opinion that a man owed his superb
ority to the multiplicity of male
pockets. A word to the wise is
sufficient. and the manly number of
pockets on female clothing is in
creasing day by day, But if there
are great advantages accruing to
the possession OF pockets, so
are there drawbacks. One of |
the funniest incidents OF the
season is due to an ulster pocket.
Miss Daisy is 1.-The fair, fastidious
daughter of an important citizen.
The amenities Of the highest society
have hedged her about since she was
a child. An education of the strict
est kind and an atmosphere of eX-
clusiveness have brought her to a
pitch OF pror riety and decorum that
is beautiful to contemplate, The ill
ness of maiden aunt, an accident to
her maid, and some complication in
Wall street demanding the presence
of the old man forced Miss Daisy to
go out alone to Union Square,
where our biggest iewelry store is sit
uated. She left her carriage as near the |
curb as possible and took the neces,
sary steps to reach the safety OF the |
jewelers. door with maiden timidity. |
This hazardous expedition was un-
dertaken at 5 o'clock in the after
noon, Beguiled by the variety and
beauty of new goods, in u gas lighted
store, she took no note Of time till |
she took hor leave. Behold, twas
q o'clockI The streets were growing
dusky, aud her stul id coachman had |
mistaken her direction to wait. The |
very swell maiden was alone on the |
treacherous hustle of New York |
life. However, reasoning that lovely |
young girls who work in shops 90 !
safely to their homes Mt that hour,
Miss Daisy buttonod her fashionable |
ulster with high resolve and both |
hands, aud concluded to brave |
street car that would leave her within
halt block Of her patornal mansion. |
Now, the ulster was one built since
the PRONUNCIATION OF Che pocket
fashion; it had a breast pocket, and |
it had two large ones on
the hips. The collar turned |
up about tho throat, and our
young lady lifted hor chin from the
recosses long enough to hail car
and climb on board. Ono side was
crowded, and the other very nearly
so, with home returning people.
Some of them moved up, and con
densiug herself into the slinmest sort
of Dimensions, she skunk in between
two young gentlemen. She handed
up her nickel, and, jammiug both her
hands into her side pockets, c0ntem-
plated the straw in the vehicle. OF
a sudden, she felt the hand next a
robustly built gently taken hold of
and reassuringly pressed Miss Daisy
knew she was goingtO faint. A mans
hand IN hnr pnnI al Che 1rnxr hail |