Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-04-13
MIR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
By Mrs. BoWsER.

BY Mrs. BowsER.
I don't want to be complaining OF Mr.
Bowser all the time, but some of his doings
ought to be held up to the public gaze. he
came in from the barn the other day IN
great hurry and called oat:
'sMrs. Bowser, where's the screwarlVsr!
Hurry, now, for want it right away
"Why, don't know where it is. don't
have charge of your TOOLS"
ssLook here left that screwdriver on
this window sill in the sitting-room yester-
day afternoon"
s'Well, haven't seen it,"
aWho has? It's probably been tucked
into the stove or given away to some 70
lack. It's wonder the piano doesn't turn
mn missing some morning. If it's got SO
that I can't leave tool around the house
without its being destroyed ! want to know
it,"
was looking around while he stood in
the middle of the room talking, and pres
emily found a gimlet bored into the wall
where he had intended to put up bracket,
and said:
'.There's the gimIet, and you'll be asking
for that next"
oMrs. Bowser, when asked you where
the gimlet was why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't ask"
ssWhat! What brought me in from the
barn?"
.You came after the screwdriver."
ssNever! l came right in here and asked
for the gimlet, and you know it! Do you
suppose I'd try to bore hole with screw
driver"
s'I'm sure you said screwdriv er."
ssI know said glmlet."
He was mad about it all the afternoon,
and that evening. as We got settled down
after supper, he suddenly OBJ served:
s'If you'll hunt up those rivets I'll fix that
picture frame"
"Did you have some rivets around here?''
ssDid 1? Didn't bring paper of 'em
home three or four days ago! They prob,
ably gone into the steve or into the cart of
some peddler.
"Mr. Bowser, I'll take my oath there
hasn't been rivet in this house since we
moved in. What could you use rivets for?'
ssDo you remember the night l brought
home that bottle of wine? Didn't take a
small package out of my pocket and put ii
on that table, and didn't afterwards get
the tack-hammer and put a strip on the
kitchen Window"
"Oh-yes."
ooh, you remember; do you.'
"But you didn't have rivets in that pack
age-they were inch brads, aHd they are
right in the stand drawer. Why didn't yor
say brads, Mr.. Bowser?"
"Who said rivets?'
"Why, you did,"
'sDon't you suppose know the difference
between rivets and brads?"
"Certainly."
s'Then don't try to make fool of me
When I asked you for the brads ddn'
mean rivets. If you don't know which
from which you'd better learn
Mr.. Bowser was using his tape-line IL
the garnet the other day, and when l went
up and found it strung about reeled it uI
and laid it on a window sill. About II
O'Clock the next forenoon he came rushing
in with the exclamation:
s'Nice neighborhood, this isl You were
bound and determined to locate up here
and now you must take the consequencesp
"What is it, Mr.. Bowser?"
Il left my tape.line on that saw-horse in
the back yard yesterday, and some human
fiend slid in last night and stole it. 1t was
by your advice that came up here and in
vested $1O,O 900 in house, and this is the
resultr'
weren't you using the tape-line in the
house yesterday?'
mo, ma'amp'
-OlQu L you ledVe IL up III Guo SdfloLI
'sDs you think I've suddenly lost ny
memory! Mrs. Bowser, yeu. talk to me al
if was half idiot"
went up and got the taps-line an6
brought it down to him. He was caught
but what did he do but assume an air o
awful dignity and says:
''Mrs. Bowser don't you never dare tG
play any such trick on me again! A joke is
a joke, but when you sneak into the yarC
and carry my tape-line up into the garnet i
is going altogether too farr'
l suppose there are men who keep some
track of their hats, gloves, rubbers, etc.
when at home; but Mr.. Bowser isn't OF
that kind. Each morning after breakfast
am prepared for the exclamation:
'There! Some of you have been fooling
with my hatp'
sIsn't it on the hall-tle e?''
eff it was weuld stand here asking fol
it? don't think I've gone blind yet"
"Didn't you leave it in the sitting -reom?''
t'Of course didn't! hung it up here a.
I came home, and some of you have prob
ably been using it to store potatoes in"
The hat is found on chair in sitting
room; just where he placed it, and aftel
more grumbling he goes into the hall fol
his rubbers and shouts back:
They are gone!"
''What?"
"My rubbers! Pll be hanged if l stant
this thing much longer. You or the cool
have got to let my rubbers alone or II
know the reason why!'
care you sure you left 'em there?"
Am 1 sure Pm alive! You've probably
cut 'em up to make door-hinges or som'
fancy nensense"'
s:Here they are, Mr.. Bowser. You re
member you took 'em off by the radiator a.
you stood telling me about the railroad
accident"
u don't remember anything of the sort
l suppose my gloves are down in the coal
bin, and nay scarf has been given to thu
boys to play horse with. I'll come in BY
way Of the barn after this, and when taxi
my things off I'll lock 'em up aud slip ths
key down my boot leg."-DetroH Pre-
Press.
Maje weaknass and Ioaa M