The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1887-08-11
Evils 81 GIFT Giving.

Evils Of Gift Giving:
/ Sham and show, preplexity. annoy.
ance and extravaganza have crept JIG
the custom Of gift giving. Though one
may make a gift out Of the depth q
the heart, and do it so becomingly ana
unassumeingly, yet it seems as i doz-
en- influences were bearing on him to
force him into a greater expense thar
he can afford, or to give where ne q
reluctant to do So, or where he must
make a show of the articles given.
Quiet, unostentatious. spontaneous
giving shines brightly. when WeSflnd
it amid the dreary heartlessness, the
gaudy show and the heartburninga
that often accompany the formalgiving
that is a part of social life.
The reader may call to- mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all proplems, even outrank.
ing the common "NWhat shall wearp'
then is, ''What present shall / sendp'
It is not enough to go and participates
in the social duties and to be cordial IN
well. wishing and congratulatioh, for
none of this will pardon the neglect or
oversight Of the gift There will be the
question, where is Mrs. Jackon,ss
PRESENT." and then the unpleasant
comment if she has made none. So
Mrs. Jackson sets out to find some
compromise between pride and purse,
perhaps poverty, something that cost
no more than absolutely compulsory,
and yet looks, as if it. were worth
great deal more, something that tho
other guest will notSlook attslightinglE
if not speak of. contemptuously, or at
least think Of in the same spirit.
9 And the guests compare these prox-
les of themselves and put themselves
on exhibition. after a fashion. about in
the same way that they :would do If
they were. to stand up Before a COM
mittee of critics and, have the style and
elegance of their clothing passed upon.
The show is at last over, but the jeal-
ousies and heartburnings remain,
the fear that respectabiliity has
been endangered by the lnsigniiicanee
of the gift, or the overlapping con-
sciousness of a few that they each
made the best, or o1e of the best pres
,ents of the lot
Afterwards, as is more or less the
,eustom-in some parts, sof. the country,
the names .of, the. donors and a brief
description Of @their gifts appear IN
some newspaper, there to undergo
further comparison and criticism and
all the train of accomplishments. Fin
ally, if the present was valuable enough,
it may find its way to a shop where
duplicate presents are, bought and: sold,
SO little did the receiver care about the
personality of the giver, or of such
little use is it to the recipient among
several other presents of the same
kind. ".4H-T r. y#t..: ~. =
Gift extortion apd compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, IL
they fall short of that. Gifts are by
no means always the token. of friend
ship, and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made to accom-
pany them, they are demoralizing;; thor
are unpleasant features of what take
the form of~duties. and they are dark
spots in social life. = .f~x ~
Something il wrong when a present
is made u test of social standing. or
when 1t is made the prerequisite for
performing q social act. There is an
opportunity for reform when what is
apparently a friendly deed is confessed
W empty of honest intent, when it is
burdenseme, annoying, compulsory.
se-hearted,. OF, made for show, or
evidence of wealth, or merely for social
conformity. '-
The only excuse that one can make
for these abuses Of gift making is that
their compulsory features have the ef-
feet OF. putting people into the habit of
making presents at. a time. when their
friendly feelings have not become
strong enough to prompt the act un-
aided. With the growth Of the feel.
ings, tho custom gradually gets q bet
ter and surer foundation, and stands
more plainly in harmony with civiliza.
ton A gift should be an embodiment
of sentiment, from which cost should
be- totally divorced, as IN element of
wei gilt, and with which no SOCIAL COM
pulsion should be linked. except the
compulsion Of a spontaneous expres.
sion Of feeling. The:world is not good
enough for this yet, but some attempt,
il, only a feeble one, if general enough,
would 4be a green oasis in the social
desert-Good Housekeeping.
F ~ 49,