The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-07-30

General Futile, 1t Is said. owns a large grindstone quarry. He is ill the right business, as the crank and grindstone are closely related.
 The New York Tunes thinks that the more sensible and patriotic part of the Grand Army must disclaim any intention of insulting the presi- dent, or that organization will justly be regarded by the public as body of fierce partisans and place. hunters, whose endearing aim is to receive pensions. The Grand Army, as an organization, will never apologize. It lives ill the passions of the past rather than in the patriotism Of the present.
 Mir. Howells is firm in his belief that the Russian count, Tolstoi, is the greatest novelist the world has ever produced-immeasurably superior to Thackaray, Hugo, George Eliot or Dickens. Tolstoi is no doubt faith ful photographer of certain phases of Russian life, but why should this make him greater than any other re- porter who writes conscientiouslv? MT. Howells says that Tolstoi has the courage to tell the truth. So has the newspaper reporter. Why, then, is not the newspaper reporter a great novelist? He has written more truths than all the novelists combined; has seen more phases of life and has felt the pulse of human nature with far more accuracy. But he has never created a great character. He has not gathered up his vast stock of acquaint- ance with human nature and embodied it in man of his own forming. He has listened" to others speak, but he has made no one talk. The creation" of character makes a novelist great. He may conceive the most marvellous plot, may write his sentences ill fault less language and style, or he may be absolutely without error in his pie lures of life, and yet, if he has not created character-a character that will live-he is not a great novelist. Was there ever a picture of life, con- versation held by peasants, that will live as long as MicaWber? Was it Shakespeare's faithfulness to history that made him great? No, it was his creation of characters that really had no place in history.
 A young man who had just re- turned from college, and who, while at the great institution of learning, had edited the college paper, wrote as follows to the editor of great daily: Il make this application for member ship into your imperial guild, believ- ing that you must have taken notice of my work while 1 was the editor in-chief of the Palladium Ball and Bat. It is, suppose, quite unneces- sary for me to enumerate my qualiti- cations for the work and responsibil- ity that would fall upon my shoul- ders, but suffice it to say that I am lively and engaging in my style of composition, and that I can, when my mind is moved by the odd corkscrews of intellectual contortion, play upon almost any word in the English lan- guage. Please let me know by re- turn mail what salary you are able to give me-" The editor replied as fol- lows "Your refreshing letter reached me at time when was in need of a few outspoken, manly words, for had eaten quite an extensive string of sausage and was feeling lonely and de- pressed. Oh, yes, have studied your editorial career, and so devoted was I in my observation that when at last I was compelled to sleep, I put a strong, able bodied man on in my place. I am glad to know that you have learned to play on words. It is a great accomplishment, and am sorry to say that I have not been able to master it. A fellow who tramped through here some time ago ad- vertised that he could teach any one to play Sweet spirits of 'turpen- tine hear my prayer,' Let me horse fv to thy bosom again, sweet Mike,' or any standard tune on the simplest and most plainly constructed word but after taking many lessons I only suc- ceeded in playing three bars and a couple of spikes of Silver threads among the golden butter on absquat- ulate. The professor urged me to try a simpler word, but replied that absquatulate was my favorite and that if could not learn to handle its keys Iwould give up in despair. Now I must express deep regret. We are not able to pay you what you are worth If no mortgage hung over our office would be willing to pay
 you three-yea, four cents a month
 to enliven our office with your stir ring tunes, but alas, we are in debt. I have just bought piece of new ground, and when you learn to play on grubbing g-hoe I may engage you"