The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-01-19

Yes, Elfrlda. all things must fade.
All except the railroad fare, which must b
paid.
Joking on facts will frequently par
closer friends than beer and French mus
tard.
No man who possesses any legal attain
mcnis will ever take the will for tht
decd.
low do those pretty white leaves thai
were turned over on New Years morning
look now?
The pretty girl behind calico counter
in Il fashionable dry goods store is print
sis Of the realm.
Christmas and New Year have the same
effect on a mans salary that the sun doe:
on 4 chunk of ice
Tom -foolcry-Trying to hit the tom-cat
with the bootiack while he is warbling 8
midnight hymn.
1t is said on the authority of a druggist
that n Lalf-cents worth Of alocs makes q
cents worth of pills.
y short horse is soon curried. but he
must first be caught The same may be
said OF short cashier.
In some parts of Europe the old supersti,
tious practice of ringing the church bells in
| thunder storms still survives
Talmagc has been preaching on the Sin
iluence of clubs They are most intluen
t;al, by the way, when they are trumps.
Bricks that will float are now made in
France. Convenient for man to wear in
his hat when he's half seas over.
Why is it so difficult for professional
bcggar TO seek some more reputable liveli
hood? Because he's a mendicant.
An Indiana girl has been born without q
mouth. She will soon begin to realize that
sac has forgotten something.
When a barber seeks to make himself
sociable with customer in the chair he is
| probably 'scraping an acquaintance.
One often feels, in view of the small
! waist Of the period, as if he were putting
out his arm to surround a knitting needle.
\ declaration of Throwing old tin
cans and other refuse into the neighbors'
ya,ds.
y Pittsburg man has been fined $50 for
keeping 4 COW. The cow belonged to a
ne;ghbor.
God loves cheerful giver," but the
trouble is so many of us are cheerful ever
so pesky little.
You are mistaken, reader. if you sup
pose cats erowl around all night just to be
mean, but for amusement.
There's another cracked pitcher" as
the policeman said when he brought down
his club upon the base ball man.
'Only a match box" remarked Fogg at
the theatre the other night, referring to the
seats where the young lovers sat.
It IS said that it is almost impossible for
;tn old maid to learn to play the violin
She can't get the hang of the beau
Bismarck speaks, according to a CORES
pondcnt, with marvellous softness, even
when his purpose is to dcal hard oratorical
blows.
\ Boston woman, by way of experiment,
recently tied pedometcr to her chin. and
discovered that she talked thirty-thrce miles
between breakfast and lunch.
Il do think that IS is really an unlucky
number" said 4 pert young miss who had
just entered her teens. 'lt is too old for
dolls and too young for beauX.
\ Nevada court held that man who
has i've dollars in his pocket and his board
paid for a week ahead is "a capitalist
within the meaning of the law.
Il is easier for some men to lug ten
pound shot gun for L whole day through
an impenctrable swamp than 10 put up
clothes line.
You can't make the wife who has asked
her husband for some money without re-
cciving response believe that silence is
golden.
:*St. Louis husbands never box their
wives ears. Il would take too much tim
bcr' The author Of the foregoing resides
in Chicago.
The young hopefuls have about smashed
Up their Christmas toys, and the manufac-
turers are already at work on designs for
UcXt Christmas.
Because man happens to be possessed
Of ''Ihc constitution of q horse, it hy NJ
means follows that his physician is iusti-
fed III treating him like an ass.
Time charges all things" said lect
urcr: at which an auditor cried out, 1T
that's so, boss, Id like to have it change
This ere ten-dollar counterfeit bill"
\ scientist says that body weighing 100
pounds on the earth would weigh two tons
on Jupiter Some men seem TO imagine
that they live on Jupiter I'll the time.
The young lady whose lover wrote her
that he was doing duty on the tented field,
afterwards asccrtained tliat instead of fight,
il" Indians he drove 4 team for a circus
\ newly discovered burglars diary con
t;,in% this harmonious advice: Study over
every Job you are going to undertake with
g-e:.t care. Get all the details down fine,
and il vii work first rate.
\ gentleman dining at Columbia res
taural.. the other day, was asked by a
waiter # IL. was supcrstitious: No" said
he: WHY" Because, replied the waiter,
YOU arc the thirteenth man who has used
: lat napkin"
When man is dismissed from employ
mcnl he always has a good deal to say
against his late employers. \ man, in
TACT, IS likes gun. lie makes a great noise
when he is discharged.