The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-14
BRIGHT BITS.

Miss DE PEYToN-Yes, admit De Smiths
quotations are very amusing, but they are not
have reference to common people
Mr.. JoneS-Ohi | see. His saws are not OF
| your set.-BoStoh Courier.
But yon look young and vigorous"
"Of course | am" replied the mendicant. IF
wasn't DO you suppose | could go hobbline
| Without youth and vigor a man couldn't stand
it half day.N-B0S on Transcript
WHAT caused the fall of Adam?" said the
Sunday school teacher to Timothy, who had
signed the pledge the day previously
Drink and baccy, marin, replied the 6-year
old child, as he turned up his pale-blue eyes
toward the good lady'S care-worn visage. That
lad was not given II ticket for the school treat.
Fun
LIE the lilies of the field II have always
His clothes always fit him, AMI he looks as
though he had just emerged from bandboX."
Well, it wont be long before he will look as
sloyeny as the rest of us"
"He was married two weeks ago."-Lincoln
Journal
A PosER-''Yes,r said old Mr. Jones, 1.-THE
doctors are getting mighty smart nowadays;
why, they've got instruments and things made
so that they can see clean through you
"Humph' replied old Mrs. Jones, Il don't
see anything particularly smart in that. I've
been married to you for thirty years, but l saw
Mr.. Jones rubbed his bald head for a moment
and thoughtfully resumed his reading.-BOStOn
Courier.
='PARsoN JINGLEJAw, why is it that your pull
pit facilities are of SO crude a nature? Can't
your congregation afford you anything better
than barrel to preach fromyH
Dat affair am jus prutf OBJ de meanness er
some professors er de gospel. ParsOn Wide
mouf AK me t'other day eff wouldn't egschange
pupitS wild i'm. | wanter comerdate i'm an
so sont my ian'tor down with my pulpit on a
wheelbarrer ter make de change-an' l wanter
say dat my pulpit war oner desc whtewash
frigeraters-an' blame me eff he didn't sen
back dat barl. Tell yer now some lriSchinS is
jes' too scan'lous mean ter live. y Yonkers
Gazette.
CHICAGO EDITOR (furiously)-See here, sir, I've
been looking over the editorial proofs and I'm
shocked, Disguised, sir, at the utter lack of
patriotism SHOWN by this staff.
Chief Assistant-Really sir, l thought the
matter particularly good to-day.
Its vile. Every line is written with an utter
disregard of the grave crisis which is upon u.s.
Look at IT, sir.7 Jib IS and Jokes on all sorts of
topics as if the world were bathing in sunshine.
Don t you know, sir, that everything is going to
the dogs, and your articles, instead of rollicking
in levity, should wear solemn aspect befitting
the occasion? Did you see the dispatch which
just came in, sir?h
mo, / did not. -
at says the Chicago club has been beaten
| again '-Omdhd World.
n dhNIl.EMEN "lo hdu nuIe daughter OF
| very inquisitive turn of mind invited a friend
| to dine with him. 1t CHANGED that the friend
| had just been divorced from his wife and little
Anne. who had heard something about it, was
curious to know more.
why didn't You bring your wife with you,
| Mr.. Todd?,' asked Annie, when they were all
| seated at the table.
The guest blushed and stammered, and said
| that he hadn't any now Then Annie, in spite
of adrnohitory scows from papa and mamma,
| continued:
What did you get divorced from her for?"
Well, Annie, don't you think it is better -
| asked Mr. Todd, when two people can't live
| happily together that they should separator
mo, don't. answered the child Il think it
| is better to fight it out; that's the way my
| papa and mamma do. "-Boston Journal