davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
DEXTER STEAM LAUNDRY
400 Q Street N. w,
CORNER SIXTH ST.
No Extra Charge FOR Quick Work,
EtIEIb,

BtED,
CCTLINS.-On September 30. lggT, at f:iS
O'Clock a. m, Patrick, beloved husband VI
oanng Collins, Wnatiye OF County Lim3rlcN,
ireland
Funeral from hls late residence, No II
Mas sU,lusytts grpnuc northwest, Suuluy.
MApDEN.-Uu september 30, 1857. at g:i5n.
IN, 40 the residence OF Mrs. Hullrtt, 1881
Four. Ceuth street, Mrs AntOnil p. Laidru,
b,tn IL Cupeuha-Cn, peAusrk, eyed % years,
widow Of the late John A, Madden
Funeral from Grace Lutheran Chapel.
Ilir,, unth mud vuicurlu streets. on SUNDAY.
N,tuher2 l"si, at 2;l5 % 10. Friends invited
a. attend.
ROCHE ON Thursday, September ag. l.-,
NuWiyu, beloved son ut Aauigu AMI Mary
Euuhy.
i'm oral from liH fathers rc idanoo. Ils T.
street u,rllIWvs', sunday, October ,. ut
0'glrgk sharp. Friends OF Tho family re 2Doat-
Llg iuriDd outttul.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
N;nrci Anvrrtisinr

A notable one of the many various ways
and means Of advertising is aptly illustrated
In one Of the show windows Of Woodward
& Lothrop, on f street, in the shape of a
mans liutn collar measuring six and a-half
inches high and thifty-seven inches around,
high enough TO hide the entire head OF the
wearer and long enough to 80 around his
waist
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
grom %. & q. s.tacrs8,

Pot EufuDre--5 G1u, Gio ,.'g. sgp md o IS
!. ma uAi1, i.!i, 5i5 1853, $50, iai, t.iO,
tnr. GtU 5.l 500 Hud pl1 u '1.; les. 1850
'U. f@.l. t.iU, 5ts r.i., ,s:-I 1850 .. m.
70 ANNAPOLIS GfN, $500 t. m., aud 1910 and
q. W sunday. .3u n u, aHd $50 p. m.
'.a. p. lu, lIul.r.al, uu Suui lg, l:ll 3. "a.
For POINTS lu shenandoah NHuus as flr -
luIu l--a..1 70. m. DAILY. J.apUf -H|bay.
for talu,rshus... Uul l..il o.. u.: 80,
a.N. I1'. .a.. 500 .aa 30 20. On daily, cE.
tHN' rNuH'ss 800 aNH' j., ]. 30 O.. u.. 1915,
i.l $40 aud ll40 D. 1.
Fur I"ruuiuNu .lN.l| o.. Iu. lud $50 10. N.
daily except uIuaN
For CHICAGO ln.t o.. tl.. a.iU %. m. dolly.
Epr Il' .lrEHlU lU.aI %. u.. 1898. b.. .., daily.
Far tNO Ul4I. 'Dui .a.'s lH 10. 1.lu.s-l.l5
MML 2 ID u. ~ u.-L---
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
VI, \. DAUPHIN,
New Orleans, LA
Address Registered Letters TO
New Orleans National Bank,
80. A..l .-..-- I :

REMEMBER that the presence OF Generals
BeuurCgHrd and Early, VINO are IN charge ut
the drawings, is a nllrtuigt nj gh-nlurg 't.l-
ness and Integrity tUHJ iHo chance. al9 all
equal, and that MO one can possibly divine
what number will draw % lrau
"HENEMBER, Hlt1, tlHt no payment OF
prizes Is GuAEANTI ED uY FOUR Ma
TlDEAI. BANKS Of New Orleans, and the
tickets ere signed BIS tlu President of an lu.
stiiufiun whose chartered right. ARE rHaD=
ni2el In the highest Courts, therefore, beware
OF all limitations and anonymous schuurl'
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
EDUCATIONAL,

MEDICAL DEPA RTMEST or THE
NI CEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY.
The Thrty-ninth Session will begin with an
introductory addross By PrOf Joseph Tabor
johnson on Recent Advances IN Abdominal
Surgery on MONDAY, October 3, az $
O'Clock p. M, at the College building, on II
between 0th and 10th streets northwest. IN
which the profession and the public are In
vitCd, after which date tho regular lectures
will begin daily at $3.50 p. m. For further IN
formation apply to
J.W II. LOvEJOY. NJ. D., Dean,
rom t.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
sHstEy asss
~ MN q. --..tl.-..

-"H 30. NfG 1.a q. l'f...fa
eram Bostun-ig.l' "a, ID. tr.greaD.
lrru LtW lurk-a.|I, s aut iu.5 O.. M; i@1,
=. $40, UmityD. 5.tl tluw) sIj U.5
UuifodI and iu.', .. iu.
From bullmuru-'3.. gu1, 30 S;I5, $50, $50,
and 1913 % va; 1880. %, $40, Z, $50, 7:BJ
HgW1, $3.50, 1928, uuU luif 20 m.
From lucaEu. ST, Louis, Itlsburg and Gin
c'nuut.-tOi 4udysy u. H.. j.jJ and 7:y
pm,
From Anapol.s-golu. m.; tsIl and ss0p. m.
Fgum Buualu, blm,H aud IaHIstufv-3:}1 a.
M bud Iil -. %,
From Maul' -as, IhuruDrhinrc Gap and Front
bulHi-Ha1 %, m., except sundays.
From Narentuu- s.lU "a, W., l=,oi, 5.@3 and
$50 y. m.
From Atlanta, New Orleans aud Lynuhburg--
$40 u. m. and 1905 and 5.5l p. m.
From pUpu.s Creek Line 1888 a. m. (uZOe1t
suudaysD and $50 p. m.
From fhiladephla-hsj5, 3 and 10 i5 a, M, and
1850 g. $40, 4, 7'45 new, 5:lj, $3.50 and lO;E
y. u.
Prom RIohmout and the South-il9ia. m.;
Prom AicIandria-i2.3O Except Monday, 6:2S,
$50, $50, ON1, 1898, and ii:2i a. m.i
$40, S:2i $40, $50, 1=2i. $50, g.5l and II p.
m, Sunday at 1880 $40 ana lis2i u. M,
b3O, 9.hl and II p N.
FROM Cincinnati, Louisville and st. Louis
b;5n and $50 y, IN.
From Fort Monroe, Newport News and Nor
fu!l-3AO y, IN. daily except sunday.
From Round Hill, Locshurg and points on W.
Q. W.-si0a m. and 3:5i p. m, The even
ing train does not run on sundays.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
InAvE beeu troubled wILh eatarrh Of the

HAVE been troubled with catirrh Of the
heed and throat for five years, Three years
ego commenced the use OF Eiy's Cream
Balm, and from the first application was
relieved. The eenae OF 5mell which had
been lost, was restored. have found the
Balm the ouly satisfactory remedy for
catarTh and II has accomplished cure In
my cese.-ll. l.. Meyer, Weyerly, n. Y.
Ely's Cream Balm cured nc OF catirrh
and restored my sense Uf smell. For cold
in head It works like magic e. IL. Sher.
wood, Banker, Elizabeth, N. j.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
AND PAINTIS0.-N

DRAWING AND PAINTING.-Nn-
~ tiuual Academy of Fine Arts, sOi & st,
presided over by Mrs. Imogene K. MOrrel.
who has had ~ medals and studied 10 years
In Europe with the most celebrated artists
To prevent chlldfun forming careless habits
of drav ing, they Will be received Saturdays,
at ypars Of ago and upward, for almost
nothing. Thorough instruction In every
branch Of art, from drawing of all kinds to
portrait and historical painting. Evening
classes for ladies' and gentlemen, Mondays
nnl MElmn.llN. ni : u,nlnnL-
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
"a EI. N ID. eitntloa.

From Daltlmore-030, $40, $50, 10, l0.st, iOAS
and il;l5 Il. m; 1850 5:O5, $40, 5sSO, o:55,
i:iO, g. B45 and $3.50 y. m 1890 %. m. On
Sunday, $40, TO- lu:35, 1O;45 a. m; 9.jO, sos,
b.(U, G:a5, 3 $40 S:31 y. m; 121J a. m.
From AunapOlis-sO and 1888 a. m, 1.jO and
5:-O y. N. Sunday 1895 a m. and O;3j D. M
PROM FreiUrick.-s:-5, 0ai5 a, M, and 40,
s'ii y. u daily, except Sunday; on sun
Cay, S.25 q. m.
From Iarper's Ferry-5:lt p. m. daily.
From Gaithergburg-7I SIS, 9sI5, ii3j,
., ~, 2:h5 I, $40, S:l7 aud il:9O o. m. sun
day. s.2!, lO5Oa. IN. 5:l5, s:l7 and II 80 .. N.
From llaECrstuwu-g.i5 IN. and 1918, $50,
s.lT y. M, daily, except Sunday.
Prom Chicago and Pitlsburg-Gs}O and 7.21 q.
N and $50 p. m daily.
From Cincinnati, Louisville and st. LOuis-
Geo 3. N, and l'i5 D. IN, daily.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
A||,es:!kl||l!I!..@ is. @..]S.

Thoroughly cleanse the blood. by using
DIR. PicrCc'B Golden Medical Discovery, aud
good Digestion, u fair skin, buOynnt spirits,
strength and health will be established,
Golden Medical Discovery cures all hui
mOrs, from the common pimplc, blotch, or
eruption, to the worst SCrofula, or blood
poison. Especially has It proven Its efficacy
in curing Salt-rheum or Tcttcr, Fcvcr-sOrcs,
Hip Joint Dscnse, SCrunlOus Sores and
Swrllings, Enlarged Glands, and Eating
Ulcers.
Golden Medical Discovery cures Consump-
tion (Which Is Scrofula of the Lungs, by
It's Wondg;riiul nlood-pur'ying, inyigorating
Spittmg of Blood, Shortncss OF Breath
bronchitis, Severe Coughs, Asthma, Chronic
Nasal ,Gturrh and kindred affections, t. 10
sovereign remedy.
For Torpid Liver, Billougncss or 1T ~
Sunpluiut,' Dyspepsia, and Indigestion, 70
Is an tnclu0llcd remedy. Sold by druggis,f.
IL, rEETsCE'S pELEETG-Ant
H'iions ana Catliagtic. % ots vil,
by druggists.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
{ FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL.
pBtrnieuni.

pBtruieum.
y. X. Plain u Co., 81. Cloud Building,
furnish the following on IuutaHuqs:
Closed yeotcrday, Gs; opened to-day, G9l;
highest, GO; lowest Gsi; els p IN, G9
New York Storh RIarkot.
The following bave bcon furnished by
A. Mscpill & Co, baukorf aal brokers, iij
Seventh street portbvest.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
nANa
y. .,,-.-,.. ,.....,..t,', ,''A',

N suns 20 suit a. Tcr cont.
The above i only q small ror,lou Of prpg
criy Oh my books For iu'I list cal. a' uf.gt
foJ bulletins issued on isf aud i'th.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01

trd ny fiieud. Come Lamon, let us take
drink" The nohlo and generous Riatt
knew me well, and IL may be supposed
that bis "emlliup' Invitation wac music Ia
one sinners ears nc least. Further insults
10 the ttrapper from the loufer element Of
Ctarltsion were not INDUCED 10.
The tXtremes Of Southern character--thc
top Gtd bottom Of the eoclal scale in the
tlHvt-hulding Sestes-wetc exemplihed Ia
the tcene lust dtscribed, by Keitt aud the
clustering bully with the shirt collar. The
irst- llyaltd, manly, noble, h0spitable,
brave aud generous; the othor-meau, un.
manly, unsempt, untaught, aud reeking
WIN The fumes Of the blackguard and the
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
"Alderucy f,niry yyagons.

Fresh Alderney butter, churned every
morning and delivered In 10 "WsTt"
prints 4Oc. per lb, hlso cottage cheese,
hultermllk md sweet milk, Be. per ~.
Cream, l5c. per pit.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
A CALL ON THE POSTMASTER.

My Instructions from Mr.. Lincoln 70.
auirtd me to see and confer with the post
master OF Charleston. By this time the
temper of the riotOus portion Of the pop'i-
lace, innamed by suspicion and dlsappoint-
ed rage, made my further appearance On
the streets a hazardous adventure. Again
Governor Pickens, who hespi,ed the COW
ardlce as he deplorcd the eXcesses of the
mob, interposed HIS dreaded authority. 10
his thoughtful courtesy was indebted for
the following pass, which enabled me to
visit the postmaster without molestallou;
llEADQuARTEH-, March 21, i3ji.
The bearer, Mr. Lninon, has busness with
Mr. Huger, pustm master OF Charleston, a ld
must not be interrupted by any one, ns his
businesa In Charleston Is entirely pacific In
all matters.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
Pcr Arnnrn
HOUSES FuR RENT


500 a rtnc. grs..................... sli no
t9h I'D stn W. grs...,......,,,..,...... 20 Un
ltCs u stsC, rs..,. ..,.,....,..,... ..u - 40
NlNVih 80 ", rs...................... 2i 90
liC2, l4Ot iirG Md ave ~ 70, Grs,..,,,..,. Hn uu
hi8 Cap st II W, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. ~ on
32h G II q, S ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. - n
ltJJ Il " u G, ts............ ....s,...,,, lA uN
go and Gs4 Nd ave n W, @ rs.....,,..,s,, IL 90
Ci7, o.d est 8 W, % Orf.,,,,.,..,..,....,... II 90
llCO u q Sc, rs.,.......,........... u %
81 Myrtle 81 n @. rs....... ............. ~ 90
leGi 9Th 50 n W, 4 drs....,,..... .......... Il co
$40 10th 50 @, b ......,.....,. ~ 70
G23 hsseN Court II ", irs....,,..,....,.,. +! so
D CorCuran Row, bet VI ayo ana 18th
and l. end n s's W. 5rs............. ~ OJ
llli Goat alley II W, dr- .....,.,,,,...... 10 60
22ii 10th n n W, ! rs,,... .....,......,.. 10 90
lltla 7 81 W. 2d floor, . 2r7,........,.. ~ %
iO3, i05, i0i and ,U1 lalragut 50, bHt ith
and sih u W, o rs..,. .,.,.. ..,,,.,....,., 20
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
PAWEBROREEs
,EUlGEL
DRUNKENNESS
Or tl,e Liquur ashit Can 80 Uursc
by q administering Dr, Haiuss'
Golden Specific,

Can be given IN cup OF coffee or tea with
ont The know leo &c OF the por-On taking II. 10
is absolutely harmless, and will e1cgt a per-
maluut aud speedy euro, whether the patient
II q moderate drinkCr or an alcoholic wreck.
Il has been aivcn In thousands OF cases, and
IN every instance "a perfect cur hu- followed.
/ 9 never fails. Ihu sySteil once lmpreg-
mated with The Specific, II becomes an utter
imlussihility for the liquor appetite 10 exist.
For sale by 5. F,Ware, under Ehbilt House;
r. X. HClphcnstine, Fourteenth street and
Vermont avenue. Washington
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
Capital Prize $4,000.

2,l1o prizes, amounting "ssi5,J0O
81 For Club Rates OF any further iuiorma-
tiOn apply to the undersigned Your hant-
writing must be distinct and Signature V'TiH.
More rapid return mail delivery Will he ps-
sured 10y you enclosing an Envelope bearing
your full address,
Send Postal Notes, Eypro7s Money Otdera or
New York Exchange in ordinary letter, Cur
rouCy By express lHt our eXpsuseJ addressed
10 -
VI. \. DAUPHIN,
New Orleans, La.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
IT. ". PicKrNe, Governor,
pErAnrung ron wAsnINoroN.

AT eight O'Clock that Monday night |
boarded the train on my return to Washing
ton. At station in the Outskirts OF the
city my friends, General Hurbut and wife,
came aboard. Hurlbut knew The conductor,
who gave LIN seats that were as private as
possible. Very soon toe conductor sllppeI
u note into my hands that was signiGcaut
as well as amusing. II was from General
Hurlbut aud was IN the following words:
"Don't yon recoaEi4a us until this trlin
gets out OF South Carolina There Is danger
ahead, and id eight Of IT..
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
MN BOYs' FNNIIsM AND OLAssI-

Il
I CAL IllGH SCHOOL Will commence It's
nineteenth year SEPT. 10, IN North Session
room Oi Dr. Suuder aDd's Church BOv, thor
Ourhly rttud for Iuy OF tho Higher lustitu-
tluus uf Learning pr for luHlnr.s lti grItu-
ntgs have taken high rank 10 Harvard, TG,o,
Brown, Dartmouth Princeton Di;kcu son,
Cornell, lchigh, Michigan University, WH,t
Point and AnnUupls. Special attention rtd
to Eng ish Branches, For particulars ana
IT, fWuuitls OF many NJ ouf best cifisnus. add
ML.ss j. " L-NI u. Irwin. :. n "
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
COUNTRY pHOpERTY FOR san


29i ncres Of ground at Fort Foote, Nd. hand
somely improved, St2O1O.
2i2 acres near ClarksviIle Co, Nd improved.
$1,000.
20 acres. improved, miles from city, on 7th
ct road, $3.50.
SO acres timber land near Potomac River,
near Drancsvillo, Va
io1 acres Loudoun Co, Va, b h., iirs, barns,
etc.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01

MEDICAL and DENTAL DEPART
WI ments National University, Mt Vernon
Place, cor. sth and X SITS. n. W. The fourth
annual session will begin MONDAY, October
8, 1887, at $50 o'clock =. M, and end April 30,
1883.
For further information apply to
II. IL. BARKER, NJ. D., Dean 1ilO II stnw
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
TO LEASE.

Tor n term of 2j years valuable piece of
business property ON + So. bet lith and i2th
n W; rent sij0 per month and taxes. Lessee
10 build on same.
For n term of % yrl. valuable piece Of
business property ON i'h 80, near PA ave- n
W; rent Sl25 per month aud taSes. Lessee
10 build on same.
Per Arnum
n u rtaf ilb oyd .tb "A n : u IN
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
''sTEvs -


TLie injunction was tcrupulously OBJ
served. learned eftcfWard that about all
Of HuTlburs time IN Charleston had been
employed in eluding tho search OF the
vGilants, who, II w0s feared, would have
given him q rough welcome To Chsrleston
ifthey had known IN time Of his presence
there. Without further adventure we
reached Washington in safety only few
days before the tocsin OF war was sounded
by the firing on Fort Sumter.
/ brought q Palmetto branch, but /
brought no promise Of peace. had mels-
ured the depth Of madness that was hurry
lug the Southern masses into open rebel
Hon; had ascertiiDed the real temper aud
determination Of their leaders by personal
contact with them, and this made my mis-
sion Cne that wao not altogether without
profit 10 the great man at whose bidding |
made The doubtful journey.
WARD II. LAMON.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01

WEAK, UEDFvTLOPED PARTS oe
the body enlarged and strengthened. Full
particulars sent lsealcd) free. ERIE MIDI
CAL Co. BUFFALO, n y.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
STATE or SOuTH CAHoLINA,
EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT

Mr.. Lamon, from the President of the United
states, requests to see Major Anderson at
Fort sumter on business entirely pacific, and
my aid, Colonel Duryes, will 20 With him and
return. merely TO see that every pruprety Is
observed toward Mr. LlmOn.
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
Academy Of the Holy Cross,
1910 NAgg AVE N W

lolZ MASS' ~ r. M W.
VIII resume FIRST Mondayin I'm September. II af-
fOrds every facility for acquiring thorough
and accomplished education. The musical
department, embracing Harp, Plano Organ,
Guitar, Banjo and Mandolin, IL directed by
thoroughly accomplished teachers. Painting
in Lustre, OIL and Water COlors. Special at.
tenion paid to Bookkeeping aud the Hi'her
Mathematics. Attached to the academy Is q
Department for Little Boys
cPENCFRIAE BUSINESS COLLEHE,
- corner tn and d SIS n, VA practical
business education that qualities young men
and women TO support themselves and sIC-
Ces-fllly perform tho active duties of llto.
ThCruu-h Instruction glyCn I'm Rapid WIT
ing, the English Language, Core ipuudeucc,
Rapid Calculations, Bookkeeping. Business
Practice, CiSiCs, or Science ut ,'tizeuShiu,
stenogrnphy and Type Writing, Regular Day
and Evening Sessions resumed THURSDAY,
SCptcmher /, at q a. m and @ = m. Oiice
Opcn for arrangements, by the year or quar-
ter, on and after Monday, August ~. A full
Corps Of Teachers, Tuition fees Regular
business course, day sessions, one year, $40.
paynhlo $40 on entering and balance in
monthly installmeGts Of SO each; "a YUar
scholarship, paid in full on entering, $50;
tuition PER quarter of ten weeks, 80, paid on
entering Ni9ht Sessions Tuition: slG Tor
three months. or $50 for one year. Seats are
assigned In the order OF registration. Special
advantages secured By buiug present ~ tho
orering of day or night sessions. illustrated
ClCular sent free on application.
HENRY @. SPENCER. Principal
MRS. SARA A. SPENCER, ViC,-Prlrcirel,
The Washington critic., 1887-10-01
78yrs tgu sYags.
A SHOE GIORB FLOODED
But Not a Single Pair
Damaged.
FiIG and MBdilm-PFiGGi Shoes.

Among our stock are many odds aud ends.
ana some lines Of goods we shall not fil no
arHin this season. Row It's for the interest
OF ~ ERNONE TO help us remove these Odds
and Ends aud Surplus Stock for we arc oIer-
Ing them at Prices that will induce You 20
purchase IN large quantities.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-09-04
A Boys Daring Experiment..

Some years ago Professor Mason, of New
Haven, Conn, was the lecturer on physiology
and toxicology at that college, and it was his
custom to illustrate his lectures with expert
ments upon the lower animals On one oc-
casion, while telling the students the effects
of various posons, he remarked that the In
dams of South America were accustomed to
use poisoned arrows TO kill their game with.
The poison used was known as woorara, and
it could be taken into the stomach, he said
without injury; but if single drop of the
stuff should be injected into the blood fatal
results would at once follow To prove his
experiment, he took a small quantity and in
jected it into the stomach of a dog, which
seemed to cause the animal no inconvenience
Then he injected drop more into the veins
of a pigeon. The bird died instantly.
The following day one of the students
asked what would be the effect if one of
them should eat the bird Mason replied
that he did not know. The boy who was
helping him, now the United States assistant
district attorney, volunteered the informa-
ton that the person eating the pigeon would
have good meal, and that that was the only
result likely to follow He said that he spoke
from experience, as he had eaten that identi-
cal bird. The professor was astounded, his
hair fairly stood on end, as he remarked:
"Well. my boy, you have far more faith in
my experiments than have myself l would
not have eaten that bird under any consider
alton. w ashington Cor indianapolis Jour
nal.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-09-04
The Value of Court Testimnnx

L once knew of well known lawyer of this
state who was counsel for the defense in a no.
table murder case. For some cause he was
called on the witness stand to corroborate a
statement made by witness as regards di-
rection and distance, and so completely did
his memory fail him that be had not the
vagueSt conception of the direction or dis
tance in question, while a minute previous he
could have drawn a map. This is not the
calculation of the probable experience of
some unknown legal crank, but the real
experience Of one of Maryland's ablest
lawyers / assure you his interest was
enormous, as TO clear his client was his
only financial salvation 1t occurred
some years ago in one of the counties
of this state, where one witness IA farmer)
testified: Il know this thing occurred in
September, for was planting corn" When
asked more concerning the matter be finally
wound UP his testimony by saying that he
attended Fourth of July celebration in the
month OF September. assure you this party
was neither drunk nor crazy.-Cor. Balti-
more Sun.
Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-09-04
AT THE LIMEKllN CLUB.

"A List of Rules Recommended to Mem
bers-A Resolution Adopted.
In view of the recent disastrous explosions
country, the committee on personal safety
and non-injury have recommended the fol
lowing rules to members of the club:
"Doan' scratch a match on yer leg onless
prepared to jump ober de highest fence
off you know dat biler am gwine to ex-
plode, drap down on de ground an keep Yer
mouf shut
"Any pusson who smokes a clay pipe in bed
should kiver de bowl wild a piece of ole boot
leg an hire somebody to keep him awake.
''There should be no smoking in the vicinity
of the club wood box Wood boxes are liable
to explode at any moment, an when dey does
de scene of ruin an desolaShun am huff to
appall de stoutest heart
paradise hall am liable TO take fire any
eavenin' when meetin' ar in progress. In
case a fire ar diskivered de outer guard
should notify de inner guard. Dis latter
gem'lan should quietly notify de Keeper of de
Red Doah. Dis pusson should softly menshun
de fack to de Keeper of de Sacred Relics, an
he in turn should enter de lodge room an
place de matter befo' de president.
1--WE recommend dat seben two gallon jugs,
each one full of water, be placed in de aunty-
room as precaushun.
"Also, dat de insurance on de hall be in
creased to SIGH figger dat, in case it burns
up an Samuel Shin, Pickles Smith an Judge
Chewso ar consumed wild it, DER loss will be
our gain.
ave would furder recommend dat de jan
itor be supplied wild some sort of hand fire
extinguisher We doan mean anythin' costly
all elaborate, wild picture of De Soto dis
kiVerin' de Mississippi river painted on de
side, but sunthin' combinin' utility and
cheapneSs.'
On motion Of Giveadam Jones the sugges-
tons were adopted, and he then offered the
following resolution:
Resolved, Dat dis Lime Kiln club, believin'
dat dc present styles of hand fire extinguish-
ers ar too complex an hev too much back
ackshun, hereby announce its willingness TO
Encourage the inventive genius of de kentry
by offerin' de sum of $50 to any pusson who
shall invent portable extinguisher hevin' de
follerin' merits:
l. Must wake up de folks when a fire breaks
out.
2 Must be self actin an hev no cog wheels
to git out O. order
J. Must act as a thermometer when DER ar
no fire.
4 Must be cheap, strong an simple, wild
muffin about il. to mildew or throw out the
germs of yaller fever
On motion of Col. Pompeii Parker the res
olution was accepted, and the janitor was or
dered to put all the matches in Paradise Hall
into pail of water every night before leav-
ing.-Detroit Free Press