The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-03
BRIGHT BITS.

If Bernhardt has really lost her voice, there
can't be much now left of her Boston Post.
IT is so easy to find Fault that it is no credit to
find it, and it is certainly no fortune Louis
CIHe Democrat.
CUsToMER-What do you sell these cigars for?
Clerk Vayanas-but they amt by a
long chalk!-Ifd- Bits.
THE Saco bank would have been largely ahead
II the managers had paid somebody S25 week
TO watch their six dollar clerk-Chicdgo
Tribune.
A CORRESPONDENT asks to know when gloves
came in, Gloves came in when sparrng exhi-
billions with the bare fists were forbidden by law.
-Te.cdS Siftings.
"PRocRAsTINArIoN' may be, as the poets in
SlSt, thef of time, but certain it is, it is one
of the few friends that Mr.. Jacob Sharp has now
Philadelphia ledger.
A CORRESPONDENT wants us to tell him (which
is the proper attitude for fisherman standing
or sitting. > Neither, innocent one; lying is the
only position in which he feels entirely at home.
-Y0ilkers Statesman.
A REAL ESTATE MAN of San Diego, started out
with letter and his bank book. As he passed
the Postotfice he mailed his bank book and
never noticed his mistake until he arrived at the
bank.--Sdn Francisco Call.
AMY speaking of the responsibilities of mat
rimony( Would you be afraid to marry on
five thousand year, Tom?
Tom-Not u bit, If I could only find a girl with
that amount of iucome-Hdrper's Bdzdr
THIS is the composition a new teacher had the
pleasure of hearing read in a school not far
from Concord Going to SCHOOL, like to go
TO school when we have good teacher | don't
like to go to school this term. Concord (NH)
Monitor.
SEVERAL milionaires have recently given
their advice to young men as to how to get rich
Now if the men who have been happy without
getting rich would tell how that is done they
will perform a much more valuable service
Boston Herald.
A LITTLE four ear-old Louisville girl had her
first dream, and was eXpatiating upon the new
found experience and telling it out, when her
mother said: Jennie, tell mamma your dreamy'
20 pshaw mamma; you were lying right by me,
and you ought to know. '-LoUtSrtHe Democrat
MISS SNoBBERLY (who has just written a
letter)-Ma, Is a 1c. stamp enough for this
letter?
Old Mrs SnObberly (proudly)-Put on a &c.
stamp, my daughter, or people will say the
Snobberlys are not people of the right stamp
-Ieras Sjfti'sss.
RoLLIBoY (heavy weight)-Hot weather ALWAYS
Wits me- | agree with tine Bible that all flesh
is grass.
Scraggles Feather weight)-You'd make a
prize haystack then, if you were well dried.
Rolboy (witheringlyl-A you'd make the
needle that never could be found in me-
ChdrLeStOlUIt Enterprise.
A CHURCH having just been organized in a
community where there had been none it hap
pened that man was proposed for deacon who
had once been in the State prison. Some made
objection to him, hut the conclusive reply was
that if the Lord wished to esta blish church in
DXonville he must use snch material as Dixon
vnle afforded. -B0ston Congregdtionolist
LAURENCE HUTTON writes with heavy stroke.
leaving considerable superfluous ink on the page
At one time, when he was going over some
manuscript at % friends house, and dropping
the sheets on the floor as he finished them the
friends little girl came into .the room Take
care, Hope D." said the lady; don't step into Mr..
Hutton's manuscripts, or you will wet your
feet. Exchange.