Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1887-04-16
A MKacIFuI caTTIc.

-
prAno 10 the choir Of the Charsh Of
Saint Tralaloo."
A MKncEFUL CRITIC.
well" said Rszorpsn. mere kindly
than vas HE eastom, II can tell you
hou yos can improve the clay q little"
How asked InkweIi, gratefully.
sYOa Gee, voa XIII the villain ia the last
aetfs "Yes" "Wsli, that IL COED
Nov make him kill all the other charsc-
tsFa IN the hrut-"
NOTHING woEDEsyUL ksoUT THAT.
A letter haa last bean dissntombcd In
Ponpeii. last where the district mes-
seDaer boy ioss Il three hundred thons-
and years ago. Tue bog IL supposed 10
Be still alive aBd slowly wandering
along IN she direction Of the house at
which The letter vas 70 be delivered.
A BnAEEE PACED ADvKRITHnMKET.
A yell known arm sdvertisss artistic
gas fixtures" We have 0ne Of the beg
gaEs down IN toe esllaF. It's the artfEi-
Get thinR out Of jail, and how 10 man.
aRsd 70 escape Indictment With the rest
Of the bOodlers has always been q mys-
terry 10 TIE consumer ever since Il begun
10 say: Twice tvo IL Eve, and three to
carry make eleven; put down seven
teen" AFtiatief IL does Il With "a
ease and grace and an honest face that
would deceive the very elect.
kEoTHKR EKvERKND HkmHTIo.
II am deeply interested Of late, said
the mes minister, Sin the higher teach
inRs Of Buddha.n "Well, you've coma
10 the wrong place for that studv, young
nan" gEoWied Mr.. OaldboardeF; "you
can't learn anything about shat article
from this hypocFitical oleomaFaarine. !"
And the quiet vas % loud that the little
water pitcher lifted its great ears to
hear whose bill had baen presented and
laid over under the rules
ASoTHzR ROYAL VISITOR.
II IL announced that Prince Frederick
Leopold, Of Prussia is coming to AmeFi-
% and will reach this happy land sbeat
the LIST Of May. We lad noticed that
the railroad companies havs already be-
gun TO renew the plaeaFds at the sta
tons, Beware Of lending money to
strangers"
GREAT HAD.
When . Philadelphia Press cores
pondent vent 20 Roscoe ConklinR TO ash
his opinion on high license, the great man
said; 81 never talk 10 newspaper men for
publication, and | beg 20 be excased
from expressing any opinion on the sub
tsct whatever" Do you know that's
just what We thouRht.s "If you vas 10
take that man and show him the hnoy
at the More and ask him his opinion OF
u, bed give you an opinion that was no
more like that buoy than vour UaoIe's
buttons are. His names Bunsby; but,
Lord, Il might be anything for the mat
ter OF that, with such a mind az his"
MIGHTY sERIoUs EoR SOMEBODY.
II hear" said Moleoule, that Trilo-
bite has lost his mind" Must have
been thai one be borrowed then" said
Atom; he never had one Of bis own"
ABR said Molaoule, Il had forgotten
be was married"
Up WITH THE TIMES.
That new dentist who came 10 tswn
last week is going 10 make business
hum, said the postmaster. "HoW soi"
asked the pAFson. "Why. be has q sign
out. Teeth extracted while yea watt
He's rustler."
MORE WISDOM.
Again she wise man steps 10 the front.
He says: IF q man emptios bis pure
into bis head. no man can take Il from
him. he does pat Il there sometimes,
emptytDR u by the way Of the neck,
and tue wise man is right fer once; next
neEuinR no living man could take that
bead away from him. By'F halida 9,
Sir 0rammercy, Z good sooth do We be
lieve the wise man has been there him
self. whence else this bookly lorei
NEW CUSTOMS Fon NEW COUNTRY.
A good man, Q much better man than
The writer will ever be this side Of Jor-
dan, asks us ''tf We expect 10 sit around
pufilng vile cigars In heavenl" No, In
deed taeoens heavy on the MOI, We don't
suppose they'll have vie ones there. To
tell the honest truth, We don't believe
there viii be any cigars Ia hsaven, con
seQuently We don't expect 20 DO any
smoking there; nor do We EXPECT TO eat
any pie there; nof look at the furnace
the iast thtna before going 10 bed; fall
aroand in the dark hunting for the
matches; poF Rrope around for . lost
towel with our eyes full OF eoap; noF pin
q three ply collar on buttenless shirt;
nor break In new bosta; nor take rho
barb; nor do 9 great many ether things
vs are expected 70 dc row. Alb, dear
brother. heaven ia going 10 be q place
fall OF surprises. and the veal brother
Who tnduiges in 3 cigar - be journeys
Acroes this wilderness isn't the onlY
saint who will be asked 60 change his
habits when be Gets his harp.