davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
The Fleeing Cook.

Here is a story on certain class OF
GUS but is peculiar to the ranks of the
"yugar rich who are so scorchingly
described by Ouida A lady comes
stranger TO Buffalo, her husband an
army officer. ordered here on special
duty. She at once breaks into house
keeping and deems herself fortunate in
securing really good cook. One morn
ing while rejecting upon her luck in
finding such kitchen treasure-and
she is IA stranger in strange place-she
sees a fine ishment-splendid
sleigh, fine horses, swell coachman-
drive up to her door. From the sleigh
steps out very handsome specimen of
womanhood, elegantly costurned Our
army woman, suspecting that she Is to
be made the recipient OF little Buffalo
welcome and hospitality steps to the
m rror. gives her bangs "a little twist and
prnks up hastily. She hears the door
bell ring; soon after hears voices IN the
parlor But there is no summons Tor
her, and in five minutes. more or less,
the superbly -dressed visitor, aforesaid.
leaves the house and drives oil. The
second girl being asked for an explana-
ton, replies that the lady asked to see
the cook. and that functionary soon in
forms her army mistress that she has
had an offer of much higher wages if
she Will leave AT once. and that the oiler
is too tempting to refuse. Protest is
i'm cilectual, and wondering whether
that is the way of doing IN ngs in Buff
falo the discounted house-ke' per sub
mits to the result and goes out TO hunt
/ after another cook. A few days pass,
and the Sic Oh, the coachman and same
/ elegant specimen of the feminine gen
/ der, again come up TO the door, and
/ this time the lady OF the house = cert
ainly asked for, With some reluctance
and considerable smothered Indignation
she goes down. but is soon disabused of
any notion that the LADY" is going to
make a call" She briefly explains
her errand- admits that she is the wo-
man who induced the cook TO leave.
and complains that she is N really
awkward position for "splend Il
cook who used to live with her wants
to come back. and she, of course, f'rls
under obi cations to get the other cook
"A place, seeing that she urged her to
leave. She. therefore. asAs our army
woman if she is willing to take
back her original cook "as a
personal favor" Beg pardon, reader.
Did you say Well, ! swear That is
Just what we said when we heard the
story; and it is true, every word Of it.
-Bu6d'0 Express.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
Sensible Comment

Addressing Mrs. Druse on the scat
fold. Rev. Mr.. Powell said: go to thy
fate. trembling child Of sorrow! Go tc
thy loving father. God, Go to thy com.
passionate brother, Jesus, and to the
side of thy angel child who has gone
before. Go brayely in the strength Of
hope and faith that there will be G
place for thee somewhere above this
dark and dismal shadow. Go. peniten,
and bleeding heart. Tn transit from
earth to heaven VIII be but short, and
may the grace Of our Lord Jssu, Christ,
the love Of God. and the fellowship OF
the Holy Spirit Of truth and good and
grace 20 with aud reuan with thee
cyermOre. Amen" Rev Mr. Powell
spoke with some assurance when he
told the wretched woman her transit
from earth to heaven would be but
short. Is this brevity Of journey char
acteriStic Of the rope route? OF III in
Vulnerable blood stained murderers
who have stood with knot behind the
left ear uttering pious condolences to
the officers of the law and reporters, not
one has yet returned word that the
hangman jerk instantly transported
them from mundane to celestial scenes,
nor do plain. unsentmental people be.
lieve that the SLAYER arrived there be-
fore his unshrived victim. There is
something revolving aud demoralizing
to a great many good people in these
public announcements of penitcnce and
forgiveness evoked by the shadow of
The moose. when the object of the laws
vengeance is Frustrated mentally, NOR.
ally and physically when the attending
clergyman is impressed by the fright
ened acquiescence of his charge into
imagining too much of n conversion.
What a noble experience it is for .
number OF respectable citizens seeing
that the laws decree is carried out to
be addressed by fellow with rope
around his neck with the remark that
he is going to eternal JOY. which they
are apt TO miss. and for them to follow
his example and die happy. 1t smacks
too niue of putting a bonus on MUIR
der. What of Mr.. Druse. deceased,
cremated and assimilated by swine?
Is h transition TO be more protractcd
than that of the lady who kindly as
sisted him out of the world. or will he,
by reason of not having had time to SEQ
Rev. Mr.. Powell just before receiving
his quetus, never again be permitted
to look on the loving countcnance OF
his angel wife?-OH CITY Blizzard.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
The Quality of Mercy.

The little bride mule in the nigh
lead slipped on the icy pavement, and
Mr.. Bergh's best man was on the spot.
Take that mule and have him sharp
ened before you drive him another
foot"
"lIe is sharpened," said the driver,
"rougher than file. Look at them
hind shoes-corks on 'em that 'ud
wedge hole through an icehouse. "
The officer lifted hoof to see, and
straigbtway looked over the top of u
four-story building. Buzz ngly ran the
word through the telephones Zone of
your men has been nearly killed by a
mule
Tcnderly came back the muflled or
der: "See if the mule is hurt, and if it
is arrest the man. - Brookiyn Eagle.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15

yonnc fellow who Is abon, 10 start an
imm grafton paper, | hurried away
from Packings. tor | knew that if re-
manned much longer IN his presence l
would choke him. The fellow who
rented the house insisted upon imme-
date possession, and as the rapid SEN
timent Of the awakened town would
not countcnance delay in such matters.
| moved my material out into the
street About half an hour later, n
team of six mules. attached to heavy
wagon, ran away, struck my press,
broke it all to pieces, scattered my
type and-well, demolished all my
prospects. My dear friend, you know
why | am Disguised. "--ArkdnSdO
Irdyeier.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
The inven tors feel that they have lis.

Tie inventors feel that they have lis.
coy red something equal to the tele'
phone. Mr.. Sumner Taintor is only
about thrty-two years of age, is very
modest man, and he rather UNDERSTANDS
than overstates the value of the ma
chine. DR.. Chichester a. Bell is rs
modest as fainter, and he has made
other remarkable discoveries in record
ing and reproducing sounds, which
will place him high in the rank of in
yentors. Every one knows the record
of Alexander Graham Bell, and how
his telephone has captured the world.
He will become even better known
through the present invention, -leck's
Sun.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
A Curious Boy.

Mamma, how did it happen that me
and Little brother Sam wasn't kittensp"
asked little Johnnie at the table the
other morning.
'Why. Johnnie, what made you think
of such a thing?'
'Why. when papa talks to nurse
about YOU. he calls you the old cat"
The above conversation is the sole
cause of Johnnies mas visit to her
folks. and of Johnnie's singular dislike
to sitting posture. Merchant Trav.
eler.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
The Towering ThornS.

The Towering thorns are among the
most highly priced of small lawn trees.
They grow only from ten to fifteen
feet in hight, are compact and erect,
but branching so as to form n good
head, and late in spring cover them.
selves with blossoms. The foliage is
handsome and abundant, and the trees
at all times appear TO COOL advantage.
The most highly priced of the thorns
are the common hawthorn and its va
rieties, especially the double white, the
double scarlet and the double red.
These varieties planted together in a
clump make brilliant show in their
blooming season. Another fine variety
of the same species is the parsley-leaved
thorn, the leaves being finely cut and
crimped, giving tia novel appearance.
The flowers are white, single.
Whoever has seen fine specimen of
the cockspur thorn in bloom, as it
grows in our thckets and fence cor
ners has had sight to delight the eve.
A variety of this species is cultivated,
having narrow, bright green. glossy
leaves, superior 10 those of the wild
tree. and blooming as freely, being
literally covered with its single white
flowers in its season; this is the pyra-
cantha-lcaved thorn. Another variety
of the same is called the glossy-leaved
thorn. The flowers of all are pleas
ingly fragrant - IicE's Magazine.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
It Is Loaded.

In hotel not far from Albany a
stranger who takes an apartment for
the night is confronted by sign. print
ed with large type upon red pastboard,
which reads as follows: Dangerous!
II you do not know how to turn off the
gas ask some one. Do not blow 1 out.
1t will kill you The propr etor is
evidently not fool-killcr albany
Journal.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
SAVED BY A LAUGH.
A Sick Young Broker who Lost Ills
Lunch but Got We'll by Ii.

A well known and popular young
broker living up town in the immediate
vacnity of his fashionable club, was n
few days ago the victim of an expert
ence at once amusing and irritating.
The episode is too good TO remain un-
told, but all names will be withheld
through sympathy The young man
was III at his lodgings, and flowers.
kind messages, cigars, thoughtful
friends. nor nothing else could allevi-
ate his suffer ngs Every body was in
despair until medicine man was sent
for.
After feeling the patients pulse the
physician shook his head gravely and
declared, that the brokerm must do some
thing to get up an appel te. To do
this n sample from the repertoire of the
far-famed cuisine of the borker ; club
was prescribed. No objection was
raised to this kind of medicine, and the
sick mans valet sent at once for a
menu of the club. The invalid raised
his fevered head on his elbow and,
glancng over the bill of fare, proceed
ed to order what he thought would re-
store the bloom to his cheek and the
luster to his eyes.
There wa, boullon. thin and trans
parent as an October morning. canvas
back duck fresh from the shores Of
/ MARYLAND, and 4 lot of other dainty
dishes This was topped of with lib
eral supply of pate de foe gras and two
or three bottles Of Poutct-Canet and
/ Mumm. The messenger bell was then
rung and the order was entrusted TO a
bright eyed little Mercury. Away sped
the boy to the club and his order set
every employe there N commption.
Even the chief woke up and with his
own hands prepared sail th dress
ing polished enough for the gols.
Mcanwh lie AT the lodging of the bro.
kcr all was topsy-turvy. The invalid
with considerable alacrity paced the
room. and his valet bestirred himself
with extraordinary agility. They w. t
ed long and patiently, but neither the
boy nor his CHOICE viands put in an APP
pearance. After considerable delay the
suspense became so exaSperating that
the man-servant was ordered TO 20 in
search of the youngster, and bring hin
IN dead or alive. He at once started
out, but proceeded no farther than tn,
door of the brokers' lodgings There,
comfortably seated on the rug, with his
feet dangling gaily over the steps, was
the missing urchin. Crumbs. greasy
spots, and empty bottles were all tha
remained of the sumptuous repast
and the little Mercury was in a frame
of mind bordering on hilarity.
As soon rs the broker heard how h i
dinner disappeared he laughed long an'
heartily 1t was the first smile that he
had given while i'll. The invalid tried
to save the boy, and interposed earnest
ly for him. but in vain. Now the boy
and the broker are good friends, and the
broker is fast convalescing. Neg YOrd
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-04-15
Not So Bad As That.

First Young Boston Blood-Say.
Duxlcy. did you ever see the sun rise?
Second Young Boston Blood No,
Sam. don't think ever don I
remember that | ever staid up so late
as that. of Education.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
What They We're.

A hostess who cannot preserve her
serenity upon even tho most crucial
occasions Is lncking in ono OF tho most
essential qualities OF mn entertainer.
Tho thouglslcss spilling OF her best
wine, the soiling OF her whitcst table,
cloth, nay, even tho smashing of n
whole trnyful Of her best old family
china, should not cause one muscle Of
her conntenancc To change.
On the other hand, an affected ignor-
ance respecting the contents of tho
days bill of fare is mt times almost ms
fatal as tho opposite extreme. was
myself present at n dinner party Mt
which one Of tho untutored stable
helpers was brought in OIL an cmcr-
gcncy, to assist.
"Wllnt arc these, Jolm?' inquired
the languied hostess, MS John tremb.
ling.y trust forward dish of tartlets
just under her right elbow.
al don't know ma'am, really" hc re-
piled, "but / think they're a penny a
picccw
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
Tho Origin of tho Postage stamn.

Quito an interesting and curious
story Is connected with the origin of
tho postage stamp. Ono day girl
came forth from an inn located In the
northern part Of England, and received
from postman q letter which she
turned over iniher hand as she asket.
tho price of the postage. The man
asked a shilling, sum too large fol
one poor as herself to pay, and 80 she
returned the letter to the postman will,
sadness, although she knew TINT ne,
brother had sent it. Hut sympathic
traveller, named Rowland Hill, stood
near and at this moment interposed
and insisted on paying the shilling
himself, although the girl seemed
strongly averse to his doing 30. When
the postman had departed, tho kind
hearted MIR. Hill was surprised to fin.i
that there was no need for his pity; for
the envelope, the girl explained to him.
contained no written communication.
but on its outside were certain marks
agreed upon by herself and brother
from which as she held the letter in her
hands, she. gathered all the informa-
tion she desired. ave are 30 poor .
she continued, that we invented this
mode of correspondence without paw
ing for onr letters. Such duplicity set
Dir. Hill thinking that postal system
which melted people to commit petty
fraud must be very defective. lie
argued that If the price Of postage was
lowered from an exorbitant rate to
one that came easily within the means
of tbs mass Of tho people, SO many
more letters would pass through the
mails that the financial condition Of
the treasury would not be impaired,
while society would derive much ad-
ditional benefit, lie. became so much
interested in the matter that he man.
aged to bring his views to tho notice
of the British government, which
gave them favorable reception, and
ON January 10. 1910, which may be con-
sidered the birthday OF the postage
stamp, letters began to be circulated in
every part Of tile United Kingdom at
the postage rate of only penny. Row
land Hillbecame secretary to the post
master general, and during the next ten
years so great'a change had taken place
that In 1850 the number OF letters sent
through the mails was Z, ,239, ,962 against
1905 in 1910. '''f ~ :,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
Tho Tragedy Of ..yirsIniu..n y #

On May 18th, 1920. aVirglnius was
produced for the first time. Great
expectations concerning It's merits were
entertained by the town. and crowded
house gathered to witness tho per.
formance. And In tho pit sat Sheridan
Knowles, by turns radiant with hope
and detected by fear. The first act fell
fat on an audience filled with high an
ticipations; even the second act failed
to effect tho house, principally because
Charles Kemble, who suffered from q
cold, could scarce be heard; but, sud-
denly rcgaining his voice, in the third
act he aroused interest and gained ap-
plause. Macready, inspired by cnthu-
6 lsm, acted with unusual fervor. In,
the character of Nirglnius, to quote
tho Times of tho following morning,
che touched the passions with more
mastery hand, and evinced deeper
pathos than on any former OCCASION"
Interest now decpened to enthusiasm;
cheers greeted tho conclusion Of every
act; sobs aid exclamations attended
the great catastrophe whero Virginius
stabs his daughter, and the curtain fell
ona house excited by terror and delight.
The tragedy took the town by storm.
Peals of approbation,' says the Euro
pean Magazine, "attended thu an
nouncomcnt of this successful tragedy"
1t was played for fourteen nights, and
was received with unabated interest
knowles was advised to have it printed
immediately, that he might reap remu-
ncration from its sale. TO aid him in
this respect Macready called on his
friend John Murray, and requested that
he would publish Virginius." Mr..
Murray promised he wonidd gi IL Il IL his Is
consideration, but acting on the advice
OF his reader, the Rev. II. AIilman,
afterwards Dean of st. Paul's, ho re-
turned the manuscript in few days
with thanks. Knowles then offered il
to Ridgway, of Piccadily, who ut once
accepted it, and in the course of n
couple of months it passed. into several
editions. 1t was dedicated to AIacready
in the form of letter which ran ms
foilows: MY Dear Sir: What can I
do less than dedicate this tragedy to
you9 This is question you cannot
answer, but 1 can. Icannot do less,
and If l Icould do more L ought and
would. was perfect stranger To you;
you read my play and at once committed
yourself respecting its merits. This per-
haps is not saying much for your head,
bntitsaysagreat deal for your heart, and
that's the consideration Which above all
Others makes me feel happy and proud
in subscribing myself your greatful
friend and servant, Jamcs Sheridan
Knoylnsn
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
The Widow.

Tho other day a very dainty young
woman in black, with u mourning veil
not too mourning. just about mourn
ing enough--so ,lrapud rs to set Off her
shapely head and neck to advantage,
entered q large stationery store on
Washington street. and said sweetly to
q clerk behind the counter:
"Do you llavo MI kinds of mouriEng
cards. 2"
"lcs'm; wo havo tho cards, and can
get them engraved for you."
son. | don't want tho kind they
get eng,avcd-f want playing cards,
you know"
M""Fn'n~ playing cardsl"
My, yrs, dpsa't you think thoy
would be ronl nice and tasty S"-.-ls
Thu clerk was obliged to confess that
the tradn hadn't yet reached tho point
oil supplying playing cards with mourn.
Ing borders Tor bcroavcd lovers OF whist
anu draw poker and The lady left the
store vlsibly disappointed.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
sInguIactars rar Yonral.la.

The fo*SwiIg story IL told "a coming
froa seiaE German hlmaolf. and
giving hls IsneriDnco IN securing a
euro ltor nefralgln; For many yenra
no ,as bcont sufferer from regular tt-
tacrs Of neuralgia. On some occasions
hc ili. brd confined to his homo
day or twl 80 intense was tho pnin.
An old lYy friend oncc called upon
him whildhe1was suffering from ono
OF his aHcks.> She displayed 30 much
sympathf that shc almost forgot to-
name thfcqucst she hud to nnkcr-but
sho didhot. Upon learning that tho
Senntorkas troubled with neuralgia
she yolfteerod to give Him nm iiIfallI-
bio rcnldN provided he would promise
not tohugh ut her or accuse her of
being ibclicvcr In conJurations, spells,
etc. eie Scnntor. IN good-nnturcd
way II formed her that ho was under
treatnfnt from mn emiucit physician,
who slnotimcs afforded him temporary
relief The old lady iinnlly prevailed
npoHhc Senator to give her remedy q
fair trlal, wherclipon sho suggested
thntho should get an ordinary nutmeg,
HucTas Is used in cooking, drill holo
thrfigh 1t, attach 1t toa picco Of string,
or lbbon and wcnr it around his neck
continually. The Soaator, wliilo suffer-
iny one day. determined to give tho
|tneg remedy n trIni. lie followed
~ old lady's directions, and In few
fnrs felt greatly relieved. Ho has
Pnsultcd several physicians on the
i'bjcct, and they state that the nutmeg
Jossesscs certain virtues which may
have effect on neuralgia pains.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
A smar. Yonnx Nan.

"College man, Eth z" said old Gram
pus.
Yes, sir" young Mr.. Slim meeNy
admitted.
Thought So" growlcd the old mfn;
Graduated, reckon?'
ayes" young Slim confessed.
"Now," said the old man, whaf did
you learn when you graduated. Cbmc,
speak up If you want the place"
Nothing" said young Slim still
moro meekfy; nothing at all."
"Tlionght Sc" roarel the old man in
triumph; "just what | thought.'l =
"You see." added young Sfr. Sim, in
q voice that Moses might have envied;
"wc don't learn anything wien We
graduate; we have to learn it all be-
FORE"
Young Mr.. Slim deserved the situa-
tion, but he didn't getit, all the same.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1887-02-04
Salaries OF Congrcssmen.

The salary of member ceases on
the day of his death. The salary of
the successor commences tho day after
the decease of the former member,
though the election may not occur for
several months. The new member I'm
other words, draws pay for time ho
never served. a member is allowed
twenty cents mileage each way, or
forty cents mile ono way, and he can
check for the full amount of both trips
when he takes his seat. lie is allowed
one hundred and twenty-five dollars
year for stationery. Tho members
draw their money in different ways.
Some always overdraw, or rather, bor-
row from the head of the bank. They
borrow, or get in advance, sums rang
ing from ten to three hundred dollars,
and at tho end of the month they have
nothing. The great majority of the
members draw all that is coming to
them Mt the end of each month, partic-
ularly those who have their families
with them. Some of them never sec
an outside bank, but let their monthly
salary remain and draw it out in small
sums. Others take out their salaries
and place them in other banks. But
this is not done as much as formerly.
Most of the members do all their finan-
cial business over the counter of the
Congressional Bank, and some of them
pile checks-un as high as sixty thou
sand dollars in single season.