The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1887-12-08
WIT AND HUMOR.


| who wish the tax taken off raw mate
rial.-BoSton Bulletin.
The Vassar serenade is ''Gum. o
gum with me- The giIl in the win
| dow SAYS: Il choose, and will 60. y
Net0 Orleans Picayu'ae.
The directors of the National Base
Ball League think all the world dia-
mond, and men and women only play
ers on it.-Neao York Graphic.
What do you sell that ribbon for?"
asked young lady in a dry goods
store. Eight dollars a week-O, beg
pardon, 80 cents yard, miss. Id
dies Wear ReUieU.
Queen Emma of Holland continually
winks while speaking. For this rea-
son she is obliged to have all her pre-
scriptions put up by telephone.-Bur-
| lingtOn Free Press.
When a pawnbroker pays $3.50 for
a new $50 overcoat he may be trying
to lead an honest life, but he leaves
room for healthy suspicion to the
contrary.-Onaha Herald.
1t is said that a small hand indicates
refinement, and yet we have seen
small hands, and held them, too, b
| thunder, that brought out language
anything but refined.-Dra6e's Maya
zine.
A rooster that strums on the piano
| is exciting the people of Salem, Ill.
| There is one thing to be said in favor
of such piano player. The rooster
goes to bed at undown.-NorriStoe0n
Herald.
Before you call attention to the fact
that pig has no use for his tail, please
remember that you have two buttons
on the lower back of your coat that
don't button NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
HdDbeye.
Il have met with success very fire.
| quently," remarked the aged cam
paigner, '.bnt we never spoke as we
passed by. Success always seemed to
be in a hurry to see another man" y
Harper's Bazaar.
Brown-''What have you got that
string around your finger for, Robin
| SON." Robinson-'To remind me of
something am to get for my wife;
and, by thunder, Eve forgot what it
wasI-Neao York Sun.
1t requires more real talent to pre-
vent ones self from being run down
in New York or Chicago than it does
to edit a weekly paper in California or
serve in the State Legislature.-San
Francisco Argonaut
Gold handled umbrellas are coming
into fashion. The handle is so ar
ranged that it can be taken off. This
is an improvement on the old style,
where the entire umbrella was taken
off, Yonkers Statesman
An article in an exchange headed
"What the Typewriter is Doing"
doesn't state the fact that it is expos
ING the poor spelling of many opera
tors, as well as their ignorance of
punctuation and the use of capital let
tiers. -NoTriSt01Cu Herald.
Mrs. Darlington says of her new
cook book Now, q book like this
will come into house like an oasis in
the great desert of Sarah and be a
quarantine of perpetual peace. -
MorysUilie, (CaL,J Budqet.
Who says Harvard is small place?
Fair visitor-Is that building the Law
School? Dumley '89-Well-er, the
truth is I've only been here three
years, and l don't know all the build
|
whats the matter?' asked a gen
tleman, approaching crowd on the
street MAN run over by street
car and leg cut of" Heavens" he
said, forcing his way to the PROSTATE
form. STOPPING down, he whispered:
MY friend, don't you want a law
yer?"-Ep0ch.
Things one would wish to have ex-
pressed differently. Guest-"Well,
good-by, old man. And you've really
got very nice little place here"
Host-"Yes, but it's rather bare lust
now. Hope the trees will have grown
good bit before you're back, old
man!'-Ptnch.
College Professor-"Mr. Samson,
what's that you've got in your hand?"
Samson-''A Ratchet" rs that a
rope on your shoulder" Eyes, sir"
what are those spots on your
clothes?" Blood" 'What have you
been doing, sir?" ''Hazing the new
student. st. Paul Globe
Boston young man Gin Chicago)-
Yes, | am naturally proud of my an
cestry, Miss Breezy. Some of my an
cestors came over in the Mayfiower,
you know. Miss Breezy (very much
lnteresteO-O, did they, indeed?
Why, / saw the May flower when was
in New York last year.-Epoch.
They had missed the train, and she
was telling him SO emphatically
You are not in your right mind, are
you?" she said. Certainly not, nv
love- he responded sweetly, as hus-
bands always do under such circum-
stances; certainly not. I'm in my
left mind. y Washington Critic.
my dear friend, l must ask you to
lend me at once 100 marks; l have left
my purse at home, and I haven't
farthing in my pocketsw Il can't
lend you 100 marks now, but can put
you IN the way of getting the money
at once" 'You are extremely kind"
Heres twopence; drive home on the
train and fetch your purse. "-Neusete
Nochichten.
The first issue of the Broaddye, in
Blakely, contained an advertisement.
"a Boy Wanted at This Office" The
next issue of the Early County Ne,Os,
published also in Blakely, contained
the following: Born to Mr.. and Mrs.
w. A. Jordan, bouncing baby boy."
w. A. Jordan is editor of the Broad
a1e. Some people pretend to believe
that advertising doesn't pay, but it
does.-Guthbert, (Ga.,) Liberal.
Young Mrs. Upper rushed into
Tupper's office the other day, all out
of breath, her bonnet on one side of
her head, and her bangs drifting in
wild disorder over her alabaster brow:
Caught car and came down just as
soon rs | could" she gasped. 80,
Reginald! You" 'For heavens
sake, what is the matterp" gasped
Upper, pale as & ghost. ''Why, you
poor unsympathetic man! Baby's got
his first tooth!'-Burllngton Free
Press.
Observation-Disclosures Foreign Min
lister of Madagascar and Envoy Extra.
ordinary to Europe and America, has