davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
A Slan,ierOus Joke.

"Going aboard this steamer, sirf" asked the
captain OF a gentleman who was delay ing the
boat as she was making ready to leave the
wharf in Buffalo.
That depends. Captain, what is your
boat insured for:'
Sixty Thousand dollars. sir.
"Ah! Sixty thousand, and she's worth
shout So, go Captain, You needn't wait on
my account iii take the railroad y Wall
Street News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

II can't understand. my dear, why it is that
you, who have such al excellent man for a
husband, should quarrel with him SO often"
Don't yout Well, it is becs.,se he always
brings me home Il present at Light ~ make
up Seef--French Fun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

"Aw, Ethel remarked Charley to his
pretty cousin, Il belleve-aw-I'n have the
barbah-aw-trim my whiskers this morning
-aw."
do, Charley said his pretty cousin
"And-aw-Ethel,h how would You suggest
that have them trimmed'r
We'll" replied the pretty cousin, after
sufficient consideration, Il think they would
look very sweet trimmed with pink ribbon :"
-Harper's Bazaar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

plies her husband, last wintp we got malaria
in Florida" YES, and the aiigators got
your pointer dog" "And the preceding sum
mer We got the rheumatism in the noun
tainsf' We did, and the bears got my little
Skye terrier And the summer before that
we went TO the sea shore and got bled by the
mosquitoes and the landlord" !" Yes" And
the summer before that We went into the
country and the children were laid up all
summer with ivy poison" IL remember I"
well, If felt aS strong as used to- ia like
first rate to take vacation this summer but
I'm feeling kind of weak and listleSs and I'm
afraid | couldn't stand 1t. Let's stay home
and rest this year.
RECOMMENDED FOR PROMOTION
"You will find the service one Of great
hardship" said the examining officer to the
recruit who wanted to enlist In the Arctic
expedition; "of more suffering than profit 4"
"I'm Used to that, replied the recruit; that's
the kind Of service I've been trained to ="
But your duties will increase little by little.
until You will be doing two or three mems
work" That's just what I've heen doing"
was the confident reply. But you will only
get one mans pay, and it isn't very large pay
at that "All right; that's my present sal
anu ' ch ave W. httt ilbN tDll
it will he; cold all the time: fearfully, kill
ingly, freezngly cold" That's right in my
line. all Of it, said tine recruit, with strange
enthusiasm. 1--we been assistant pastor in a
fashionable church in Chicago for two years.
He was promptly enrolled and offered COM
mand Of the expedition.
ANOTHER FIND IN EGYPT
learned German professor has discovered
at least he saws he has-that the ancient
Egyptians invented ueer long before the time
of Moses Oh, well, that might be- The
ancient Egyptians were mean enough to in
vent anything, and we know they must have
had some kind of tipple, for great many Of
them Were slowed in the time OF Moses The
fact that they We're beer drinkers Is also
further attested by their peculiar handwrit-
ing. Any intelligent compositor who has had
occasion 10 set up the copy of the reporter
whose assignment compelled him to tarry
long at the schuetzenfest has recognized q
strong family likeness between his manuscript
and the hieroglyphics on the obeiisks and
mummy cases BROOKLYN Eagle
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

And Contagious llunors, With Loss Of Hair
and Erupti"ns of the Skin. are positively cured
by ttfI'uhs and CuTIC, IA S"sP-it-rnaIiy anh
tUTiCUks hs-uLNsNi internally, when all other
medicines fail. Send for pamphlet
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
MACMILLAN i co.
Druggists, Latrohr, Pa

trrI'UR. RsNEnIss are sold everywhere.
Price: tITiCUE.. the Great Skin Cure, inc:
q ITICuR. soar, An Exquisite Brautiirr. 25c:
- rIrrks RksoLvE>f, the New Blood puririer.
81; POTTER DRU" .>n CHkMICAL Co. Boston,
DIMPLES. Blacs heads. Skin Blrmishes and
i Ill Baby ilumors, use Curicur, Soap.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
A Law seldom Violated.

Wife twho believes ia consistencyl-If the
old blue laws forbid kissing ones wife and the
selling Of intoxicating liquors on Sunday,
why isn't the former enforced as Well as the
latterf
Husband - Because it isn't necessary
Harper's Bazar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
o>E OF ruE WORST CAsEs.

We ha'r been selling your .tUTICURI KENE
nIks for years. and have the INST complaint
yet Ia receive from purchaser. OHr Of the
worst cases Of scrofula ever saw WAS cured
ny The USE OF nN- bottles OF tVuCURA hEsUI.
VEINS, Ounce aA and tCTICUkl Soar The soap
takes the cake here As medicinal soap.
TAYLOR a TAYLOR.
druggists Frankfort Nv,
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
Got Away Safe.

Bunko Steerer-lsr't this Mr. Smith, Of
Smithville.
Stranger-No; I'm Mr.. Keely, Of Phila-
ilelphIa.
Buuko steerrr moves OF in great haste
New York sun.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Mr. Hogan-Save me, Eileen thim's the
same koind oy rats Oi seen the mornin aftb-r
kellys christenin'.
Mrs Hogan-John, its me thinks the howly
mother'il absholute yez from the furnichure
yez broke Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Did you have all your lessons at school
to-day, little boyf
Yes, sir, an more, to-"
More than all your iessonst"
"Ies, sir-a '"-Golien Days
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Il confess" drawled literary bore. that
| initiate, TO some extent, Thackeray's style
You dor
Yes: but you don't object to itf'
Object! No, but don't disparage your
originality; I'm sure You are not iu the least
like him Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

You know, Of course" said the old man to
the young man, that my daughter has slOU,
90 in her own rightf'
YES, sir."
And you are not worth cent
I'm poor, sir, but, great Seott, sl0O, 900 is
enough for two! Why, lin economical to
meanness New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

is Smith a man Of gan,rai intelligeHcef"
Il have never met him, but fancy not"
Why
Because I've seen him occasionally in the
jury box in the court Of general SESSIONS. -
New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

She thinks SO much uf worldly show
That should an angel cal! her to
Arise unto the skies
A long, white robe she'd quickly don,
And buy harp 10 play upon;
Then pay :. cG.!. - e.e.y friend, ?
And tell them all 10 watch her wend
Her way 10 Paradise
Chicago Tribune.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

We have obtained satisfactory results frnH
the use Of the tuticura Rem-d es in our own
family, and recommend them beyond any
other remedies for diseases of the skin and
blood. The demand for them grows AS thrii
merits become knuNu
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Let's see, you're Il witness in that case
which comes of tomorrow, aren't your
queried Wigwug
Yes replied Filtrip.
which side summoned your
Il don't know"
Don't know! Why, man alive, how are
you going to testify th-nF-Detroit Free
Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Master Of Ceremonies-Why don't You fire,
mani The traps sprungl
Crack English Shot who has passed the
prev Ious night near the grouudsi-I thous ht
those We're some more of your blawsted mos
quitoes, yer knaw- Bits.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

A very little child looked wistfully at all
Older sister last evening
did MIR. Fiance bring you any candy to.
nights' she asked.
"No, Edith"
~Did he bring you any last night"
NO; will give you some rs soon as hs
does"
That's just it," cried the little creature,
breaking into tears Now that you're en-
gagged to him he doesn't find it worth while to
pay you any more attention. II Philadelphia
News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
Luxuriant Hair

Can only he preserved by keeping the
scalp clean, cool, and free from dan
druf, and the body in healthful
condition. The great popularity of
Ayers Hair Nigor is due TO the fact
that IL eiranSes the scalp, promotes the
growth "f the hair, prevents il from
falling ont, and gives II that soft aud
silky gloss So essential TO perfect beauty.
Frederick Hardy, Of Roxb Mass,
gentleman fifty years Of age, was fast
losing his hair, and what remained was
growing gray. After trying various
dressings with no effect. lie commenced
the use Of Ayers Hair Nigor. 1t
stopped the falling out" he writes:
'and, to my great surprise. converted
my white hair without staining the
scalp) TO The same shade Of brO.on it
had when was Is years Of age"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

Herr All passenger trains 0f he New York,
Pennsylvania and ohio Railroad stop duriI x
the >eIsoI II being the ChauIauqua Lake STA
tl"n, and the distributing pnlTt I Tor The entire
Lake There are two hotels At Lakewood, b, III
uf immense size and capable "i accumm"car
ing nSe hundred guests each. Sumrt un,
steamers are constantly plying the Lake.
transporting visitors To all points. Those III
search of a pirisint resort to spend the sun
mrr months cannot nnd a IunTr convenient or
delightful D ace than Lake ChauIanuua
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
LITTLE LAUGHS.

The way Of the transgressor Is generally
| agreed to be hard, but he undoubtedly de-
serves it all-Pittsburg Dispatch.
| Husband twno bas been looking at house,
| Ia wifsD-B@t why don't You like the house,
1t has two large parlors, coy library ami
! drawing room, beautiful dining room, three
| bath rooms, and the kitchen arrangements
are perfect ami the rent low Wife shaking
her heail-Oniy seventeen closets, john
! New York Sun
GingSeng-Congratulat me, father; I'm
( going 10 be married Gingseng's Father
| All, but do YOU think the lady will be able
to support YOU in the style to which you have
been accustomedf-Pittsburg Dispatch.
1t is suggested that the plan of executing
criminals by electricity will give relations
the chance To say that their luckless kinsman
WAS struck by lightning. philadelphia Call.
1t is generally conceded that women dress
o. attract the admiration OF men, and The
Pittsburg Dispatch asks: But why do men
| dress" Well, because they look better that
way. They would attract altogether too
much attention If they didn't dress.-Norris
town Herald.
A Chicago man paid 1900 for a copy Of
the Bible, When he reaches the passage
treating Of swine you will hear from him.
He will want his money back with a loud
and angry want-Minneapolis Tribune.
Women are frightful gossips, we know, but
if they were not their husbands would mis-
q great deal of entertaining information
about the neighbors. Boston Journal of Ed
ucation.
Representative Beriah Wilkins tells Of an
Indiana granger who recently called on the
president shocks hands with him vigorously
and long, looked him over from head to foot
and then remarked: "Wa-al, wa-al. Here
hey ben votin' for presidents nigh onto fifty
year. an I'll be golblaSted ef you amt the
fust one l ever see! Jes' shake agin, will
yerr
Most Of the l5G persons killed by the erup-
| ton OF the new volcanoes in Mexico are
found to have died Of fright 1t is supposed
that when the Mexicans saw the lava run
ming down the mountain sides they mstook
it for soap.-Detroit Free Press
A student, being desirous of learning
whether thero was any truth in the state
ment that Seneca was addicted TO drunken
ness opened an illustrated encyclopedia, and
having found the name Of the celebrated
philosopher, the frs: object that met his gaze
was woodcut, beneath which were the
words "Seneca, after all ancient bust" The
ardent Investigator, finding his worst fears
confirmed, looked no further Chicago Her-
aid
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11

aud " rak ness. Coughs. Colds and Chest Pains
and every pain and ache Of daily toll relic, ed
IN one minute hv the Cutirnrn Anti-rain
Plaster. N-x. elegant and infiIlible. AT
Druggists. e5c nye for 81. or OF Potter Drug
and Chemical Co., Roston.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
HOW NY SIDE ACHES.

From the bench and the counter
l. - from the ioum and the sewing ma
HHs chine go-- up the cry Of pain and
WBkZ weakness Aching sides and back
~ ~ Kidney and Uterine Pains, traius
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
PullmaRs Finest Coaches on III
Through Trains.

"ANTED-General agents. 10 Wholesale
'" my new motor. Rare chance. good Al
AIRY or soc on the dollar. Address. with stsir ..
+. NJ. Weaver. indianapolis. Ind. maine IAis
paper.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
LAKE CHAUTAUOUA,
THE.
POPULAR SUMMER RESORT.
Directly on the main line ri the
new IOhk, PENN. { OH 0 R.R.
NY. LL.A ". K. K. TO-, L-ss-r,.
Midway B,iwe~n Cincinnati and New
lOrk-iIishsst Na'sgsbir Body
1T Water ON he CUaiine
! G05 feet above tn, Ocean and 12I feet
above Lak.. Erie distant seven miles.
THE CLIMATE IS Pure AlG IAvIGlaAIIAG.

The Lake - tw 'nis uIIr, long and from one
10 three miles Wide. akrSund. FiuSaI na.
Gr,mth's Point. Brmus Point. Bay View,
Rayruswund. Aartha's Niu-yard, chan ar,iu
P0 Bt 'hagtiuGua, Long Point. Maple >pr ngs
an I o"giIn are am"ng the different T-- Orts
ON the Lake, pttrnnizrd BY th- summer visit
nrs Ihrrr arr gnnh hntrI, AT ryrrY nninI.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
EXCURSION TICKETS,

Via New York, Pennsylvania and ohio Raj
road. are on sale At ali local stations and
station Of connecting lines from June Isl.
good for return until October Slst.
j. X. SilALER, Grn. Supt.. Cleveland. q.
l. = FARMER ten. Pass AEt-. New lnrs.
\. tLtRh, Asst. ten Pass. Agt., Clr'
E,n,i tIhln
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-06-11
The Famous Chautauqna ASs mbIy
LAKEWOOD.

las lis csGpgIrters At hH utaIi.i va Lake ana
cOnSrurs iG July and August 1f every Nrar
one ni the mast popular resorts On the lake Is
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
The Fire Drill Last Night.

The fire department of the city consist
ing Of the three comprehensive lndepen
dent, with steam fire engine, the Rescue
Hose Company and the Water witch
Hook and Ladder turned out last night to
drill, and presented a very creditable APP
pearance. The old City Hotel was select
ed as the base Of their operation. and by
the time the department had gathered 10
the spot with their appaTatuses, Main
street was crowded with spectators who
seemed TO take as much interest in the
working OF the apparatus and maneuyer-
ing of the firemen as IL there was some
great confiagration going on. For the hrst
time the Hook and Ladder Company bad
an opportunity of displaying their dex-
terity as firemen, which they did 10 the
satisfaction of all present. Ladders were
thrown up TO the side of the building as
high as the roof, and were mounted with
as much agility as that of veteran fire.
men. This company has been but recently
organized, and is in charge of Mr.. John
L. Beall, foreman, who takes great inter
est in the organization. Mr.. w. ID. Basil
is chief marshall of the fire department
and his commanding influence over the
men has had much to do with the p r
fectness Of our Fire Department. which
is credit to our city The drill last night
was test of its efficiency and we have no
fear now should a conflagration ever
break out in our midst, that it could be
subdued by our present efficient force.
The drill last night lasted for about one
hour, and was one of the most satisfac.
tory ever given
During the practice last night several
amusing incidents occurred in changing
the stream from one position to another,
whereby several persons got sprinkled,
causing quite a scamper among the crowd
and good deal of merriment from the
spectators.
The engine was drawn to the scene of
operation by two horses of the Transfer
Company, aud the reels by the firemen,
whowere dressed in their regular fremen' S
suits-including rubber coats and boots.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20

During the summer one OF our country
cousins who had been following the pillow
all the year in his bare feet came 10 An
napolis. having procured himself pair
of brogans 10 walk the streets in. A short
time since he concluded he would visit
some of his friends in the country and
show them how he had been Improved
by city life AS necessary step TO THIS
he must get a pair of new shoes, and ne
succeeded in getting his fifteen inch foot
into pair of twelve inch shoes, but per-
haps he didn't suffer from it. One even.
ing while in the country he was invited
out to tea and after reaching his host be
twisted and turned so that he exposed his
condition to his host who while the ladies
were enjoying themselves in the house,
lent him a pair of slippers, which he
wore until be heard the ladies coming TO
join them. He hastily put on his shoes
but had not finished buttoning them
when the ladies Joined them. DeeminG II
necessary that he should make some eA-
PLANTATION, he remarked TO his hostess
that he had been trying TO put pair OF
10 inch feet in 10 inch shoes and was
paying the penalty. Upon which she re
marked well, | should think those
things were big enough for anybody.
The blush of mortified pride mantled his
manly brow and scarcely had he recover
ed from this modification when O. gentle
man accidentally trod on his foot and said :
Il beg your pardon, Smith, but | must
tread somewhere" Gathering himself
together as quickly as he could he made
an excuse to leave, and says he's going to
leave Annapolis and go to the country to
live, that he never did like shoes anyway,
and he is going where he can 60 bare
footed
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
As Sole agent for John Wanamaker

of Philadelphia, am now prepared to
exhibit full line of Samples both for the
Custom and Ready made Clothing depart
ments Your measure taken and goods
made in the best Custom Manner at low
prices and fit guaranteed or no safe. In
the ready-made clothing department /
have fur line of samples representing
the stock OF Wanamaker, and by the
Wanamaker system of measurement. Can
fit all sizes and shapes from the smallest
child to the largest man. Prices are guar
anteed by Wanamaker to be lower than
other establishments-in fact, by has OaoR
guarantee you get all the benefit of per
sonal visit to the house of Wanamaker
itself. Clerical suits made to order, and
society uniforms furnished on short no
tice at low prices. f. o. WHITE, Agt.
n No. Francis ST.. Annapolis, Md
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
Trial of the Hazers.

The court-martial which canvened at
the Naval Academy yesterday for the
trial of naval cadets Leeds, Leonard and
Robinson, charged with haZing members
of the fourth class was still in session to-
day. Mr.. James nj. Munroe, States At
torney appeared for Naval Cadet Joseph
A. Leeds, a resident of Philadelphia,
whose case was first taken up. The ac-
cused is charged with having hazed Ca
Diet Nj. E. Keed by ordering him to stand
on his head on board the frigate Santee
on or about September IL. Counsel for
the accused filed three exceptions in the
nature of demurrer, as follows Firstly
that the specification failed TO charge any
offense known to the law or against the
navy regulation; secondly. naval cadets
are not liable to punishment for haZing
under act of 1874 as modified by act of
1882; thirdly, one fourth classman cannot
haze another fourth classman. The courts
having overruled the exceptions, the ties
timony was proceeded with, the witnesses
being Lieut.. Commander Todd, Lieut..
Miller, Cadet Reed and Master at Arms
Henry Smart. The testimony failed to
disclose any force, threats or intimida
ton connected with the alleged hazing.
All the parties are members of the fourth
class, the accused cadets having entered
in May>and the complainants in Septem
Der. 1t is unusual for hazing to occur
among classmates Leeds is son of ex-
Sheriff Leeds, of Philadelphia, and Robi-
son is son of the district attorney of
Detroit, Michigan. Commander Sigsbee
is president of the court and Lieut.. A. O..
Hodgson, udge-advocate.
The case of Leeds was concluded to-
day and the Court requested States At
torney Munroe to file his argument in
writing. The other cases will be taken up
tomorrow.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
Give Them a Chance.

That is to say, your lungs. Also all
your breathing machinery. Very Won
derlul machinery it is. Not only the
larger air passages, but the thousands of
little tubes and cavities leading from them.
When these are clogged and chok ed with
matter which ought not to be there, your
lungs cannot half do their work. And
what theydo, they cannot do well,
Call it cold, cough, Group pneumonia,
catarrh, consumption or any of the family
of throat and nose and head and lung OBJ
got rid of There is just one sure way
TO get rid of them. That's to take Boshee's
German Syrup, which any druggist will
sell. you at IS cents bottle. Even if
everything else has failed you, you may
depend upon this for certain.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20

This is the malarial season, natures
chosen time for killing off the careless
and foolish ones, when profuse perspira-
ton during the day may be followed by
sharp chills at night 1t is a good time to
double all the necessary sanitary precau-
tions, and also the thickness of flannel
underwear Avoid the ordinary water of
the pipes as far as possible; it is likely to
be contaminated with germs of zymotic
disease. So far as the physical organism
is concerned, it is during this period that
sensible people initiate the example of
Br'er Rabbit, and LAY low"
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
Funeral ofMrs. Hall.

The funeral of Mrs Margaret Hall was
held from ST. Annc's Church o-day. Rev.
MI. Southgate a sisted by Rev. Mr.. Saw.
age officiating. 1t was very largely at.
tended, great many persons having
come in from the county to attend it.
Messrs. Thos. s. and James A. IgTehart,
Richard p. and John Henry Sellman,
Richard Welsh and BENZ. Watkins acted
as pall-bearers. The services were ac-
eordiny to the ritual of the Episcopal
church and were very solemn. The choir
rendered several selections very finely.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-09-20
Sumo Things You Ought TO Know.

That sound travels at the rate of 1,125
feet per second,
That you can buy the best Watches,
Clocks and Jewelry for the money at j..
Smiths, 46 Maryland Ave.
That Captain Cook, the great navigator
vas killed by savages in 1919.
That YOU should have your watch re
paired at J. Smiths. 46 Md. Avenue if
you wish to have it keep pace with time.
That Mt. Everest, peak of the Hima-
aya Mountains in Asia, is the highest in
lbe world, %, 062 feet.
That the youth so sympathetic and the
maid with smile pathetic, who are CON
lempating matrimonial bliss,
Should proceed to buy their rings, their
silver plate and things at Smiths and the
reason is this:
They can save enough to get nice ice
cream freezer. duplex anti-squall cradle
and other useful articles. 917-1w.