Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-08
HARITUAL.

q wonder what makes these buttons
 burst off so," Dora petu1antly exclaimed.
 David looked at her tight dress. "Force of
 habit, I think" he said, softly.
 Couldn't look like it-Brown-"Whose
 umbrella is this! It looks like one I lost"
 Smith-;T don't see how it can, for I
 scraped the handle and altered it generally" Life.
 Omaha Dame-My dear, Easter is not far
 off. Husband-Not far, that's fact. "And
 @ "of fu oourse.a poP sDo % you % suppose any % human
 being can rejoice in an old bonnet like this?"
 The reprints under the title of ''Jottings
 from Jail, of prison articles by the Rev. J.
 W. Horsley (of England), an expert on the
 tains some ''gems of thought" Take for an example this: "The prison world is not
 much better than the external world of unde-
 tected persons"
 Elderly Masher Crying to scrape an &C.,
 quaintanceH Charming day, madam. Tray
 cling alones Lady CvivaciouslyeO no.
 I'm going down to Newport to be tried for seat are my brothers, those in the rear dep uty sheriffs and my two husbands are in the smoking ear.-Tid-Bits. He had been going to see her for long time, but would never state the object of his visits. Last night he mustered up sufficient courage. ''Will you be my wife?" he asked, simply and earnestly. sYes, Henry will,
 she replied, all in a tremor of blushing ex- citement. "Ah, thanks" he said. 'I bet Chollie Brown package of cigarettes you would say Yes Do you smoke? It's quite the thing don't you know."- Washington Critic.
 A gentleman on his way home last Monday night, 9o'clock, met negro boy coming out of an alley with chicken under his arm. ITo 4oo1 1oII 0f he how Innd l chicken, and finding it nice fat bullet asked the boy if he had not stolen it. The boy replied: ''No, sir; if I'd CT stole dat chicken I'd CT had i'm in CT bag, boss" The gentleman let him go on his way.-Monroe (N. O. Inquirer.
 A little friend of mine was recently taken to the place where his grandfather had been buried a few weeks previous-a lonely spot l on the edge of gloomy wood down in Le Sueur county. "Is this heaven, mamma!' l whispered the little fellow, fearfully. E'No, | dear; this is graveyard" ''Well,n returned I the little fellow, thoughtfully, "Im glad it 1 isn't. You told me that grandpa had gone l to heaven, and I thought that this was the place. .'-St. Paul Pioneer Press. A Rough Deal-A stranger went into an Austin restaurant and ordered dinner. He made one or two attempts to eat it, but was badly defeated. Then he called the proprie- | tor of the caravansary and asking how much | the funeral expenses aggregated and was told l 'sifty cents." He handed over fvedollar bill, but when the proprietor was about to l return the change he refused to accept it. l 'fNo, sir,'' he said magnanimously, 'just you l take that money and see if you can hire a | right hungry man with it to eat that dinner. If he strikes for higher wages just draw on
 me. If he dies I'll pay the funeral expenses" l The proprietor of the carayansary now says
 that he put up job on him.-Texas Sift- 1 ings.
 | ovERCoAT HE WORE. In days not old, when nights cold And Jack Frost held his sway. A masher bold, with wings of gold, Sang merrily his lay-hay hay. Sang merrily his lay ''My love is wondrous fair, | With lots of cash to spare, | And though it's cold, 'tis swell, I'm told, No overcoat to wear: 1 So I'll be bold, and though it's cold, | No oyercoat I'll wear" ! So this brave wight, in clothing tight, 1 Went forward to the fray; | He danced all night, but ere twas light ] He'd caught pneu-mo- nj ay-h -hay-hay, He'd caught pneu mo ni-ay. His little chest was sore,
 With mustard plasters raw, ! But ere he died he faintly cried l live kept the sware swore; l swell am I, you bet your eye, l No overcoat wore.' Town Topics