The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-03-16
A Grandfather For Sale.

tlt's all very we'll for you, Cabot, to
quote that trite remark about rank being
only the guinea's stamp. You know as
we'll as do that the social guinea-here
In Boston, of all places-must be stamped
before it will 90 into circulation. Society
strongly resembles retail trade in this one
particular. Let me offer lump of the
purest gold to any small dealer as pay
ment for the goods I have bought of him,
and he would at once say he'd rather
have the dirtiest bank-notc in town than
nv unstamped metal; wouldn't he"
"Well, suppose he would. If we were
in more primitive state of existence the
yellow metal, as it came from mother
earth, would satisfy our greed. Now it
has to be vouched for as gold before it
can take its proper position among the
other circulating mediums"
Exactly so! And as we are not in q
primitive state, but very highly cul-
tured' one, I, for example, need to have
o stamp before I can pass muster. All
the wealth my Midas of father left to
me will not take me more than just so
far; yet dress according to the laws of
to-day, don't eat with my knife, I know
how to raise my hat to lady; in short, l
fatter myself that I make fairly good ap-
pearance. But I have no grandfather
worth speaking of" And though there
was mock pathos in his tone, Maxwell
Jennings meant more of what he said
than he would have been willing his COM
panion should suspect.
Edgar Cabot glanced at him little
contemptuously; then he allowed his
eyes to wander enviously around the
luxurious appointments of Maxwell's
rooms. Everything bespoke an abund-
ance of both money and taste on the
part of the one who resided there. A
casual observer would never have sup
posed that man who could appreciate
the engravings and books which crowded
the walls and tables was mushroom Of
an hour, the son of man who had
amassed large fortune by the manufac-
ture of rum and judicious speculations in
stocks and mines. The moment that Tom
Jennings's business and all other posses
sions fell into his sons hands, that young
man sold the obnoxious distilleries and
went abroad for three years to finish the
studies his father had sent him there to
begin. Old Tom Jennings had the sense
to know that he could never aspire to
any higher position in life than the one
he was born Into; but he was determined
to 'tmake Max gentleman" and so far
as cultivation and study could do it, he
succeeded.
''By Jupiter, Jennings, if had tithe
of your money I wouldn't care a plea
yune if I hadn't grandfather" sighed
Cabot, whose bank account was as short
as his pedigree was long.
"And 1, Cabot, would give hundred
thousand dollars this minute if I had one
of your digni6ed ancestors" Jennings
answered, earnestly. eyes, I'd give it
gladly if I in any way could claim a
great-uncle or grandfather of note"
"a fellow has perfect right to sell
what is indubitably his own, hasn't he9"
asked Cabot, thoughtfully.
"Of course he has"
81, as everyone knows, am the last of
nv line of the Cabots. I am badly in
want of money; you think yonrself-or,
to be more exact, DR.. and Mrs. Randall
think you-badly in want of ancestors.
What will you give me for, say old
Colonel Cabot2 The one, you know, who
was killed in King Philips war"
"What an absurd ideal" exclaimed
Jennings, with laugh.
"Not at all absurd. The old codger
is now my great uncle; if I sell him to
you, why, of course, he'll be yours. Or,
If you don't like him, there's my grand
father, Judge Cabot-how will he fill
your bill9 Now, Jennings, don't look so
amused. assure you am in dead earn
est. am so hard up I'd sell my soul
much more such tritle as a grandfather
for hundred thousand dollars"
Jennings knew that Cabot spoke the
truth about his financial condition, and,
being a good-natured fellow, who was
grateful to Cabot for several introduc-
tions which he valued very highly, es-
pecially the one to the aforementioned
Randalls, determined to help Cabot out
of his pecuniory quagmire by humoring
him in his ridiculous proposition.
"I declare, Cabot, if the thing were
feasible I'd accept your offer with i'm
mense gratitude. But suppose I should
tell anyone that Judge Cabot belonged to
me, who would believe me?"
'If you were to buy him of me you'd
give me receipt for him, I supposed
Just as I would give you receipt for the
money you paid me for him.
Certainly I should" answered Jen-
nings, laughing at the idea of giving a
receipt for an ancestor.
''Then you could truthfully say that
you had documentary evidence that
Judge Cabot was an ancestor of your own,
and that would settle it, as I would be
careful to say so, too, for people rarely
insist upon ones proving that So-and-so
is his kim; and if anybody was still du-
bious you could be justly indignant be-
cause your word was doubted"
II think if buy one of them I would
like to have the other to keep him COM
pany; he might feel lonesome so entirely
out of his element. What will you take
for the two2" asked Jennings, seriously
Cabot looked fixedly at him for an in
slant; then, seeing that he was in earnest
answered:
''Oh, III not bargain with you in thi'
trade. III be grateful if you will give
me hundred thousand for the two of ZEN
the old Colonel and the Judge"
"Are you sure that will satisfy you
Suppose say hundred and twenty-five
for the two2"
That will suit me still better, o.
course" said Cabot aloud To himself hi
aided: "Thc fellow is bigger muff thar
thought. However, he is good fellow