Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-09-15
PITH AND POINT.

a
j If thou art wise, thou knowest thine
own ignorance, and thou art ignorant
If thou knowest not myself Luther
Tending bar for hotel in a tenn
perance town is a business as quiet as
! clerking for man who does not adj
vertise. @. Picayane
When an embezzler skips from
Chicago for Canada by water they
speak Of his departure as a clearing
out sail B,srlingson Free Press.
Never look down upon or despise
a man because he lives at higher
priced hotel than you do. He may
have been born that way. ~ r.
Journal
An advertisement OF desirable
residence says 1T commands not
only view of the pretty little railway
station, but also of the people who
miss the trains. - United Presbyterian.
do you think you will give this
vacancy in the counting-room to young
Smithp'' mo, TIM little doubtful
about Smith, .'Whyp" Because
he always has so much luck when he
goes fishing. Pittsburgh Chronicle.
Mother Ito daughter )-"Why.
my dear, you are not going to church
without corsets are your" Daughter
Yes, mamma It's an ice cream
festival, you know, and want to ac-
cept all invitations. Mr.. Whitechoker
says the church is badly in debt. -
NJ Y Sam
"A little girl wasn't far from wrong
when she told her Sunday-school
teacher in answer to the question,
What is the worst thing about mon
eyP" that it was .'cause we amt got
any" We can all say that Nash
vilte american.
Il love you with deep and indy
ing Affection" he sighed. Gan !
hope that that affection is returnedp"
why. cert'n'y," responded the mat
ter-of-fact young lady: 81 have no
particular use for it"-Bufato Cosl-
rier.
Don't pout at your friend because
he is friendly with some ono whom
you dislike. He will be none the less
true to you because of his fidelity to
another. Suspiciousness can not live
where unalloyed friendship prevails.
"A sailor being asked to define the
difference between hurricane and
typhoon. said: I'm a hurricane the
wind blows as hard as it can right
straight along; but in a typhoon, just
as it is blowing its hardest, it gives an
awful jerk pm Y Ledger.
General Sheridan telling what he
called an excellent story, a gentleman
observed that he had met it in book
published many years ago. Con
found those ancients." said the Gener-
al, 'they are always stealing ones
good thoughts. "-NesO York Ledger.
What is called "a safety pocket
is recent device to protect ones purse
from being extracted by the dextrous
digits of the pickpocket; but it will
prove of little value to the married
man, unless possessed of combina-
ton that his wife can not master while
he in sleeping. Boston Budget
From distance, our little life
tragedies appear to us as farces, over
which we comfortably smile as we do
over the broken ties of our childhood.
And how much better it would be if
we could understand this when they
occur! But alas! we can not. All the
preaching in the world can not change
this II Exchange.
My DEAR" said husband. gently
rousing his wife-the lady was danger
ously ill-.'Mr De Hobson called a
little while ago and left her love and
sympathy for you. She seemed deeply
affected" John" said the sick lady,
in very weak tone Of voice. as she
slowly Enclosed her eyes, "what did
she have onP"-N 2. Sun.
Between the acts: She Creproach-
fully)-"E Edward, you've been drink
ing" He-'Only glass of milk, my
dear" She But your breath smells
horribly of whisky" He with con-
cern)-.Is that SOP The cow must
have been fed on distillery slops."-
Buffalo Cypress.
Minister'S wife packing her trunk
for vacation) .'Now, DEAR. give me
all the heavy articles FIRST as want
10 put them in the bottom Of the
ministerial right. o. by
Che way, here are my sermons, which
1 am going to take along; where will
you put them?" Wife-.'Well, guess
I'll put them in the bottom. IN Y.