The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1887-11-19
GENIUS AND HAIR.
Bill Nyc ON Buhaio williams Cow. BOY
Crusade Of Europe.

Bill Nyc ON Buffaio williams Cow. BOY
Crusade Of Europe.
INew York world.l
Tue cable news from London would
eeem to indicate that the coming year
will witness large hegira of armed
goslings from England who intend to
prosecute the cow gentleman and
Deadwood stage robbing business on
our frontier. 1t is perhaps unnecesu
sary to state that Buffalo William, the
graceful and courteous hirsute wonder
from Nebraska, is largely responsible
for this. Wherever he has gone with
his eccentric, dark.red, seii.msde Iu-
diane, and his speckied broncos, he has
soWn tue seeds of discoutent 10 the
grammar schools and bred open rebel
lion and mutiny in the primary de-
partment.
Look along the red-hot tail Of b.
William and you will find the A,neri>
can and foreign youth alike turning
with undisguised loathing from his
educational pursuits to immerse bis
legs Ia pair OF chapersjos, to WELD
the brief but stiuging quert, to whoop
up the red-eyedA naughty and high
tailed Texan maverick, or shoot large,
irregulsr holes into the otherwise
poor|y-venttlsted savage.
And what is to be the result Of all
this do not ask it in light and
fippant manner, but In a tone Of deep
est solicitude.
Buffalo Bill Is encircling the earth
with his Wild West chow. Every
where the fever follows his perfor-
mances. Wherever he goes htgh-heel-
ed boots, lariats, tarantula juice and
hair rise to Q fictitious value. Boys
leave the farm to follow the show
away. Picnics lose their flavor and
seem flat. Climbing shagbark tree
to fasten swing does not seem 80 dar-
Ing feat as 1t used to. The custard
pie vainly beckons to the young man
who is uearsighted and wears lavender
pantaIoons to come and sit on it. In
the rural districts the watermelon RI
pens and goes to decay, and petty lar
ceny everywhere seems tame, dull and
fiabby. No enc wants to steal wealth
unleee 1t has gore and hair on 1t. Dol
lars or watermelons that can be taken
without walking over q corduroy road
of dead bodies seem hardly worth taxi
Ing. u
Already the tile of young and fuzzy
cowboys has set in from the mother
country, and an extra detective police
force hunts the wharf of Liverpool to
prevent the exodus OF leggy and
pimpiy young patriots who desire to
roll up their trousers aud wade In hot,
fresh blood of our rapidly disappearing
red men. Already every steamer that
plows the wide waste OF booming moist
ure which separates US from the home
Of the patient yacht builder, brings
from one to several aspiring young
gentlemen In flannel shirts who pant
to Undue their hands In the blood OF
Old. Git. .Up-and-Sit.D Down.
And 20 1t Ia likely to continue while
Mr.. Bill 10 on his wild, whooping,
shrieking aud Colesium-storming ca
reer. After awhile 1t will not be the
British Isles alone that will contribute
to our langufshing frontier cemeteries {;
but, saturated with q wild desire to
snort across the American plains and
provide themselves with Indian Poca-
bontases, the youth of all lands and all
ciimes wilt buy wide, white, soft hats,
fur pantaIoone, with lambrequins down
tho sides; the low, gruff-voiced Amer.
ican revolver, with the dry, hacking
cough the noisy and voluminous
Mexican spur and the fouudered mus
tang with one white eye and the gift
Of appearing to 60 like cyclone
while really making mighty poor
time. Then they will invade our
Western borders and there wilt not be an
Indian apiece for them by next spring.
Already there are not stages enough
to rob unless the mail service should
be expedited this winter, and unless
We can work the Tantivy or have an
occasional attrck on our fox hunters
by the Anglo and Clyde built cowboys,
any one can see that we are goipg to
run short Of out door sports.
do not wish to be considered an
aiarmist, but unless we bring fu our
Indians at night the cowboys of g treat
Britain and OF France will sweep our
great West, and together With the
road agent from Rome, the pilgrim
from Palestine and the tender foot
from Turkey, they will wipe out our
pigeon-toed Piutee, our cute little
Grows, our urbane and genial U,es
and our low browed Digger Indians
before snow flies next year.
Gentle reader, we stand upon the
crumbling brink Of a great cowboy
eruption from England, Ireland, Scot
land, the continent and the great Orb
cut Itself. do not think that Buffalo
Bill had any fdea when he started in
TO rehearse his great society drama and