The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1887-03-18
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How BoS Burdetts Got Even with . Ma
iestie but Very ImpOllte Gentleman.

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jestie but Very Impolite Gentleman.
Once, in the dead heart Of the pitt
less winter I had drawn my good two
handed Lecture with the Terrible Name.
and was shifting all the coasts Of Penn
sylvania with it. sparing neither (pro-
nounced nyther) young or old. and
wearing at my belt the scalps Of many
q pale-face audience. One night ]
reached Erie the pleasant just IS the
clocks in the Lord Mayors castle
struck twenty-one. It was bitter. Bit
ing. singing cold. and there was no
ambulance at the station. while there
was a good hotel there. Invent in and
registered, and man of commanding
presence, tailor-built clothes and a
brown beard Of most refined culture,
followed me. and under my plebeian
scrawl made the register luminous with
his patrician cognomen. 1 stood q lit
tie in awe of this majestic being. about
as little as usually stand in the pres
ence Of any majestic creature, and when
in deep bass. commanding voice he
ordered room I had great mind
something that I always carry with me
when / travel-to 60 out and get him
one. The gentlemanly and urbane
night clerk. who also seemed to be
deeply impressed-as is the habit of the
night clerk-with the gentleman's re-
spOnsible-to-any amount tOOt on,
Sawmbel said he was sorry but he had
but one vacant room and it contained
but one bed, STILL" he said. as be-
came a man who was bound to stand
for his house if it hadn't bed in it.
cit was a very wide bed, very wide
and quite long. Two gentlemen could
sleep in it quite comfortably. and If"
But the Commanding Being at my side
said that was quite altogether out of
the question entirely. Quite! He was sor-
~ for thc--here he looked at me. hesitat-
ed. but finally said-gentleman. but He
couldn't share His room with him. He
was sorry for the-gentleman and hop
ed he might find comfortable lodgings.
but He couldn't permit him to occupy
even portion of His bed. Then the
clerk begged pardon, and was sorry.
and all that, but this other gentleman
had registered first, and it
was for him to say what dis
position should be made Of this lonely
room and solitary bed. 1 fastened to
assure the majestic being that it was
all right; he was welcome to twO-thirds
of the room. all the looking-glass and
One-halfs1 the bed. '.NO," he said,
very abruptly, II will sit here by the
stove and sleep in a chair. thank
you. sir, but l would not sleep with my
own brother. l prefer a room to my
self" l meekly told him that l didn't
know what kind of man his brother
was. but no doubt he did. and there
fore must conclude that he wasn't a
fit man to sleep with. But his brother
was out of the question, and if he
wanted part of my couch. he might
have it and welcome, and would agree
not to think of his brother. s.NO SIR"
he said. Il will sleep in no mans bed"
l said l wouldn't either, if 1 wasn't
sleepy. but when / was sleepy. l didn't
care; I'd sleep with the King of Eng
land or the President. and wouldn't
care q cent who knew it.
Well. l went to bed. curled up un-
der the warm, soft blankets, and heard
the wind shrek and wall and whistle
and yellow like all creation the
wind can blow in Erie-and as the night
grew colder and colder every minute.
l fell asleep and dreamed that heaven
was just fOrty-eight miles west of Dun
kirk. About 2:3O or 5 o'clock there
came laundering rap at the door. and
with a vague. half-waking impression
in my dream that SOMEBODY from the
other place was trying to get in. ]
said:
'What is it?''
at is L." answered a splendid voice.
which l recognized at once. II am
the gentleman who came on the train
with YOU"
YES" / said, '.and what is the mat
ter?''
The splendid voice was triflc hum
bic as it replied:
II have changed my mind about
sleeping with another man."
$50 have II" 1 howled. so joyously
that the very winds laughed in merry
echo. $50 have 1! l wouldn't get out
of this warm bed to open that door for
my own brother!'
1 will close this story here. II !
should write tho language that went
down that dim, cold hall outside my
door you wouldn't print it. And when
next morning went skipping down
stairs as fresh as rose, and saw that
majestic being knotted up in hard
arm chair, looking hundred years old,
[ said:
Better is a poor and wise child than
IN old and foolish King, who knoweth
not how to be admonished. For out of
prison he cometh to reign, whereas.
also he that is born in his kingdom be-
rometh poor" This also is vanity
Robert j. Burdete. in Brooklyn Eagle.
HOW GEORGE FLUNkED.
4 Good Chance for q Loving Young Man