New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1887-06-08
Should Flirts. be- Encouraged?

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Henrietta : sends this startling in-
terogatory home TO this office, inscrib-
ed on Scotch plaid sheet of fancy
stationery, enclosed in a No. 5 filigree-
ornamented envelope. with cupid sit
ting on the safety-vaIve of fractured
heart, and we have no doubt that she inn
AGNES her question to be crusher. But,
though staggering somewhat under the
weight of the conundrum, we hurl back
our answer:
Yes, By all means flirting should be
encouraged
We had a young friend once whom
we thought every thin OF, and he fell
victim to the wiles of tlirt. He was
a blonde, and she was blonde. in
kingdom by the sea Baltimore, for in
stance and the terrible love stroke
which Frustrated him left him, to all
intents and purposes. a mangled, bat
tered wreck on stormy sea of trouble.
He thought all the world of the blonde,
and would sit up all night and spin
stories about her, and extol her fasci-
nations, and talk about her eyes, and
lie about her hair, and drivel on con-
corning rosy lips, pearly teeth, match
less form, ETC., long after the balmy
goddess of slumber has woOed us to re-
pose and attuned our mel odious olfac-
tory organs to the music of the spheres.
Our friend used to beat his landlady
out of board bills, and borrow money
to buy opera tickets for his girl and
taffy on a stick for her little brother. It
was the most compete mash we ever
saw, Henrietta, and we have seen quite
large number of this descriptions; but,
compared to this pyrotechnic display,
they were are all tame and second-class
affairs. Well, to make love story in
terestingly short, she bounced him one
evening, and the jig was up. She jilt-
ed, sacked, mittened and fired him out
of her affections, with all the Kissing
velocity of an old shoe brush thrown at
wailing cat. When he came in that
night to go to bed, he looked like
stricken deer, wounded fawn wrestl-
ing with sciatica. For five long weeks he
rayed in delirium. Then he recovered,
shook the dust of Baltimore from his
heel taps, jumped his board and doc
tors bills. and aimlesslv wandered to
Leadville, carrying with him our best
suit OF clothes, six pairs of cotton socks
and a tooth brush
Well, he was grub-staked by philan-
thropist, struck it rich, opened min
er's supply store, married the daughter
of bonanza king, has two blue-eyed
children and loving wife. The
blonde female bursted up all the heart
furniture she came in contact with, re-
fused about thrty-6ve splendid offers,
and retired from the business. She
doesn't draw we'll now. She is faded
and possee. She wanes and wobbles
on the down grade. 1t does us bush
Ell of good to see her grit her teeth
when the fellows, like the Pharisees,
pass by on the other side and give her
wide berth. She is elected-to stay
at home, and bids fair to make as
vinegarry an old spinster as you will
find in days walk
Yes, on the whole flirting should be
encouraged. 1t certainly saved our
young Leadyille friend from fate
almost too horrible to mention. And
whenever we see a young man strug-
Cling in the gill-net of well-con-
structed, athletic firt, we fell like say
ing:
STEADY, old boy; you will feel all
the better when you get out. . le1as
Sittangs.