The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-03-09
BREC-A-BRAC.
A maiden coy, and tall, slim boy
SnI 0nninm on a oiiln.

A maiden coy, and tall, slim boy.
Sat cooling on a stilc;
The boys lip wore II slight moustaChc,
The girls lip wore n smile.
II love thee" quoth the boy, and strokcd
That faint and downy line;
"And l." the siren softly sighed,
"Would dye it were it mine"
He left That maiden like a flash,
a minutc to the mile.
| Ali tritle not with youths moustaChc
When sitting on Il stile.
Avoiding trip-Treading on the brides
trail.
What is the ~favoritc decoration of winter
thermometers? Furbelows.
An interesting meeting Of Myrtle Lodge
knights of Pythias was held last night.
The man who commits suicide by hang.
ing dies of his own free will and n cord.
The ''oldcst inhabitant" always means
well, but he is apt To get ratified III facts.
American apples arc in high favor FOR
dessert at London dinners.
If q man who thinks too much of him
self goes to Washington, he will tui;Crooms
on "I' street.
The beer drinkcr would seem to be his
W worst enemy in that he maltrcats him.
self so pcrsistontly.
AT Glasgow they are making n tGJ.tOn
anvil Tin two pieces, on which sin steam.
hammers will strike.
The late Matt Carpenter once said TO a
Catholic divine, "Purgatory is simply Il
motion for 4 new trial"
De only difference 'twiXt dc proud and
dc fool is dis: De fools got dc mos sense.
Correct, old man
The virtue which goes about seeking
scandals and temptations every where where
we see nothing is more s~ickcning than vice.
There is only one female trombone player
in this country. There are n great many
women who do tluting, however.
The woman who wears q 5000 India
shawl on the tobaggan slide might bc said
to be guilty of rapid extravaganza.
Sleigh dealers do not as n rule employ
commercial travellers, still their runners are
all over the country.
Among other receipts is one for making
an "Oystcr Loaf" Now why should idle,
ness, even for an oyster, be encouraged?
The season Of annual dinners is upon us.
1t is wonderful how many associations
there arc that live and thrive on one good
dinner a year.
A Connecticut minister has denounced
kissing games ut church sociablcs. Evi.
IDENTIFY the parSon never has II luck him
self.
"Wine talks" says the provcrb: and il is
true, for when q man is full of liquor he
can't hold anything else, not even his
tongue.
Statistics show that the average life of n
clergyman is G. years, and of Il day lal Jrcr
32 years; and yet Byron thought that whom
the gods love died young.
a commercial travellers society has
been organized, but, strangely enough,
every member is perfectly familiar with
the grip before he joins.
1t is now fashionable to cat pic with Il
fork. This is because the crust of the
| pastry is often so tough that il turns the
edge of the knife and spoils it
What is n lake." asked the teacher. 4
bright little Irish boy raised his hand.
We'll, Mickey. what is it," Sure it's a
hole in the kittlc, num-"
\ dcspairing swain, in Il fit Of dcspcra.
ton, recently declared to his unrclcn,iny
lady love that it was his firm discrimination
to drown himself, or perish in the attempt.
The female high hat at the theatre is mn
exhibition of bad taste that VIC could easily
o~vcrlook--if the management would kind
ly provide us with a step ladder.
docs hanging prevent murder? II is
n matter Of history that eases are rare
where "A mar is known to commit murder
after being thoroughly hanged"
New York imported two million cabbagcs
from Europe last year, which indicates
that the Havana cigar trade of that city
has outgrown the capacity of Connecticut
a woman may lie perfectly angelic and
as patient rs patient can he, and still not be
able to look calmly on while her husband
draws n match along a picture frame to
light his pipe.
Talking with friends the other day about
the bringing up of children, Gen. Lex
Wallace said: Train a boy to hc brave
and to speak the truth, and you have done
your best by him"
NO, sir said the worl H., young MAJ.
to the life insurance agent, Il don't feel
prepared to have my life insured lust yet.
] do not care to feel that | would be worth
more dead than | am alive"
Mary Anderson has made nearly SO.
600 during her London engagement. If
other girls would only follow her example
and lay up something for their future hls.
bands, during their engagements, there
would he fewer matches broken of.
Cotton seed Oh Products.