The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-05
Every Morning Except Sundays
SUBSCRIPTIONS (:
BILL NYE coRREcTs AN ERROR.
uoB n Correspondent Located Him in
the Wrong NIansion.


If you viii excuse me for introducing a
purely personal matter. 1 would like to
make an explanation at this time which con
Germs me, of course, more than any one else
and yet it ought to be made in the interests
Of general justice also. refer to a recent
article published in a western paper and
handsomely illustrated, in which, among
others, find picture of my residence.
The description which accompanies the cut,
among other things, goes on to state as fol
lows: "The structure is elaborate, massive
and beautiful 1t consists of three stories,
basement and attic, and covers a large area
on the ground. 1t contains an elevator, cleo
trio bells, steam heating arrangements, baths,
hot and cold, in every room, electric lights,
laundry, fire escapes, etc. The grounds CON
sist Of at least five acres, overlooking the
river for several miles up and down, with
fine boating and private fish pond of two
acres IN extent, containing every known
variety of game fish. The grounds are finely
laid out in handsome drives and walks, and
when finished the establishment viii be one
of the most complete and beautiful III the
northwest"
No one realizes more fully than I the great
power of the press for good or evil. Rightly
used the newspaper can make or unmake
men, and wrongly used it can be even more
sinister. l might say, knowing this as 1 do,
want to be placed right before the people.
The above is not correct description Of my
house, for several reasons. In the first place,
it is larger and more robust in appearance,
and in the second place it has not the same
tout ensemble as my residence. My house is
less obtrusive and less arrogant in its de-
meanor than the one described and it has no
elevator in il.
Ny house is not the kind that seems TO
crave an elevator. An elevator in my house
would lose money. There is no popular
clamor for one, and if l were to put one in |
would have to abolish the dining room. Ii
would also interfere with the parlor.
I have learned recently that the correspond
emit who came here to write up this matter
visited the town while was in the south, and
as be could not find me he was at the mercy
of strangers. A young man who lives here
and who IS just in the heyday of life gleefully
consented to show the correspondent my new
residence not yet completed. So they went
over and examined the new Oliver Wendell
Holmes hospital, which will be completed in
June, and which is of course a handsome
structure, but quiet different from my house
in many particulars.
For instance, my residence is Of g different
school Of architecture, being rather on the
Scandinavian order, while the foregoing has
a tendency toward the IrOnic. The hospital
belongs to a very recent school, as may say,
while my residence, in its architectural meth
DDS and conception, goes back to the time of
the mound builders, a time when Gothic
hole in the ground was considered the mag
mum bonum and the scrumptuous thing in
art If the reader will go around behind the
above building and notice it carefully on the
east side, he win not discover dried coon
skin nailed to the rear breadths Of the wood
she'd That alone ought to convince an OBJ
serving man that the house is not mine. The
coon skin regardant will always be found en-
blazoned on my arms, together with blue
Goddess Of Liberty and my name in green
In2ia ink
The front part of my house runs back to the
time of Polypus the First while the L runs
back as far as the Cistern.
In closing, let me say that l am not finding
fault with any one because the above error
has crept into the public prints, for it is really
a pardonable error, after all. Neither do
wish to be considered as striving to eliminate
my name from the columns of the press, for
no one could be more tickled than l am over
a friendly notice Of my arrival IN town or
timely reference to my courteous bearing and
YOUTH l appearance, but 1 want to see the
Oliver Wendell Holmes hospital succeed, and
so I come out IL this way over my own sig
nature and admit that the building does not
belong to me, and that, 50 far as l ana con-
cerned, the man who files lien on it Will
simply fritter away his time.-Bill Nye IN
New York World