The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-12-06
AN UPWARD TENDENCY.
The Goat House Loses a Star
BOarder by a Slight Rise
i'm Provisions.

boss" for sale.
The departed boarder was from the
country, and had struck a job as
chambermaid in horse restaurant.
He had bsen a boarder at the Goat
house since the middle of November
a good boarder, too, always prompt at
mealtine, and on familiar terms with
the dining-room girl and kitchen ME-
chanic.
But the Goat house register notes
his absence, and the female help
mourn bis untimely going away.
The cause Of his sudden departure
was this. The proprietor of that hash
foundry is a regular and attentive
reader of the newspapers. He reads
for the good of reading, and stores in
his mind the things he has read. As
soon as he can borrow the paper from
the steps of his next door neighbor's
house he sits down and reads it all
head, telegraph, local, editorial, mar
ket reports and advertisements.
One day he noticed an item to the
effect that sugar had advanced on the
New York produce board one-half
cent pound. This item set him to
scratching his head and thinking.
His thoughts took the form of words,
and he said 4:
"Now, here's a pretty howdy-do /!
Sugars advancing in price, and only
this morning / noticed that bOarder
of mine put two spoonfuls in his cof-
fee. I'll speak to him about it."
When the star boarder came in at
noon, wiped his feet on the carpet
and then threw the straw he had been
chewing into the water bucket, the
landlord took him over behind the
stove and gave him notice that there
would be an increase in the board
thereafter.
whats causin' this rise?" asked
the guest
"Why, provisions is gittin' higher
an higher" said the landlord, slip
ping his glasses to the bald spot on
his head.
Bacon goin' up ?"
moo, not bacon, but other
things"
"Reckon faint flour p
Not -four, but jest as neces-
sary."
Cant be beef, cause you don't git
any,"
mo"
Then, what is it ?"
Sugar, sir sugar Sugars way
up. an still goin'."
See here, landlord no use tryin'
to work me on that racket. Don't
git nothin' but water for dinner and
milk an water for supper, and the
coffee for breakfas' is 80 weak that a
spoonful o sugar will spite it,"
"You'l pay that ezra board or
you'll git out" said the landlord,
backing toward the parlor door.
"Well, I'll git out then," replied
the star IAN I'll pack my trunk this
very minute"
you'll pay what you owe fore you
take that trunk" calculated the land
load. flourishing his walking cane, to
the detriment of the looking glass in
the corner.
'1'll not pay, an I'll take my trunk
too" said the boarder, as he picked up
the fire shovel.
Help! Murder I! Police % yelled
the Goat house man, rushing on to the
porch.
By this time the dinning-room girl
and the cook were gathered about,
armed with the implements of war
common to their avocations, and i'm
plOred the boarder to leave at once,
before the now thoroughly aroused
landlord returned with help and car
ried him away to join Jack Delaney
on the rock pile.
The hay hustler left, and left his
trunk.
AS soon as he had gone the land
lord peeped from behind tine coal
shed, sneaked into the house and hur-
ried to examine the contents of the
strangers trunk. He found
An old pair of overalls,
A pair of cotton socks,
A novel, "Green-Eyed Dick or,
The Red-Headed Avenger of the Ar
kansaw Swamps,"
Two pawn tickets,
A Chinese wash ticket.
A string of red onions,
An empty half.pint flask, and
A Hostetter almanac for 1879.
The proprietor offers these goods,
including a raw-hide trunk, covered
with brass.headed tacks, for just what
they will bring.