The Portland daily press., 1887-02-24
WIT AND WISDOM,

Mistress-Your dinner was not good. cook.
Cook-I believe II, madam
M.-Whats the cause?
C.@Well, man, you know how Z is yourself
nave joined Browning club, and that makes me
kind Of romantic.
olo and young rich and poor, all unite in testl
Tying to the merits of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
The Cashier Of the German Bank of Baltimore.
August Weber, Esq, recommends Salvation Oil
for headache, sprains, and neuralgia
men?" Sou'i Do''on N"i'
He-yust what il says suppose.
She-I knew only Of Bizet's Carmen didn't
Know IN o seItn Boston was so musical as to have
He-Oh, dear, dindt you know that South Bos-
ton Is one OF the most musical communities?
arrangement Of the liver, with constipation, in
Jure me complexion, induce pimples, sallow skin,
ETC. Remove the cause by using Carter's Little
LAYER III. ne dose.
Eogg-MhaU is your idea of Heaven, Tunefork?
d tuneloIk "a musical critic on daily paper)-
aont Know, of course, but hope il is place
where Fellow can hear the last acts of operas.
dyspepsia in its worst forms will yield to the
use OF Carters LitteNerve Pills aided by Carter's
Little Liver Pills. They not only relieve present
distress but strengthen the stomach and digestive
apparatus.
Wife, reading the paper-Here is an account of
man IN lows who sold his wife for seyentyfive
dollars. Isn't II dreadful?
Husband, acknowledgement. dunno. Seven
ty-fve dollars is a good deal of money
Thousands OF ladies' cherish grateful remem-
brances o. the Ee,p derived from the use of Lyd-
Ia Z. Pinkhsm's Vegetable Compound.
"Tslkin' bout dis young lady bein' ur yo' muth-
"oh, vas, hits my muther; but de likeness was
Token when she was young n me-"
muS Ss gSunEr n 70 k%ST r how ys
right away"
For the relief and cure of the Inflammation
and congestion called "a cold in the head" there
is more potency in Ely's Cream Balm than in
anything else it is possible to prescribe. This
preparation has for years past been making
brilliant success as remedy for cold in the head
catarrh and hay fever. Used in the initial stages
OF these complaints Cream Balm prevents any Sc
rious development of the symptoms, while almost
numberess cases are on record of radical cures
OF chronic catarrh and hay fever after all other
modes OF treatment have proved Of no avail.
81 told you this morning that would whip you
Il III.
Johnne?"
Eyes, sir"
And you have been good boy?"
"HeS, sir"
WAS 1t because you wished to please me?"
"No, sir.'
"What then, Johnne?p
Because / don't believe in encouraging
strikes" said the youthful Powderly.
Women that have been pronounced ncurable by
the best phyyicans have been completely cured
by Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Mrs. Jones-YOu won't be lonesome, dear while
I'm away. with no one to play the piano for you,
will you?
Jones-oh, no, guess not. understand the
new boiler shop across the way is about to run
day and nigqt.
PHYSICIANS SAY so.-"DIgestylIn, is,
without doubt the best remedy yet discovered for
Dyspepsia and Indigestion. 1t will positively
cure the worst forms. 1t is palatable and harm
less Don't fail to give it trial Sold by all drug
glsts, or William f. Kidder s. Co.. Chemists, SO
John ST., n Y. $1.0o per bottle
"lf my dog doan' bite anything" explained a |
New York saloonist. "eferypody say he vas no
GOOD II he bites somepody, den eferypody SAYS |
ne must be killed. Seems to me dot dog doan'
get some fair show"