The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-15
WOE WROUGHT BY TELEPHONE.
Never Deceive Your Wife, Never Tell
Lie-This is the Lesson Taught.
From the Philadelphia Ners.

| Never Deceive Your Wne, Never 4eA
Lie-This is the Lesson Taught.
From the Philadelphia Ne1cs.
Yesterday afternoon as l was passing
through the lobby of the Continental Hotel
a we'll known New York broker emerged
perspiringly from the curtained box in which
is situated the long-distance telephone,
through whose auricular you can talk to
friends in New York as easily as if they
were sitting beside you. Great drops or
sweat beieweled his brow, and he bore the
| appearance of man who had just passed
through a severe ordeal. He mopped his
! forehead with handkerchief and drew an
audible sigh of relief.
! ''Hellon exclaimed. whats the mat
| ter! Too hot for YOU in that closet!"
I've been talking to my wife III New
| York." he replied
'Why, you must have had quite a conju-
gal racket over the wireW said, laughingly.
| Does talking with your wife always pro-
duce this effect upon you"
Ny broker friend looked at me sorrow
fully and said: But for the telephone l
would be a much better man. | gazed
upon him with surprise. 1t had never been
intimated to me before that the invention
which Prof Bell has succeeded in monopo-
| lizing was an instrument of evil, domestic
demoralizer l asked the New York man to
explain MS meaning w TdU i IIledDU,
said he, lis that the cursed telephone can be
so easily twisted into an Internal liar that
but for its convenient duplicity / never
would have been tempted into deceiving the
| partner of my bosom. | had to come to
! Philadelphia this morning l SO informed
my wife She looked at me with uncon-
ceaied distIust L don't believe you, she
said, with a cold glitter in her once fond
| eyes: THE momentyou arrive in that mis-
cradle Quaker City go to a longdistance
! telephone and let me hear YOU talk over it
to me. And, mind you she continued, Sc
verely, I will take pains this time to find
whether you are really talking over the
ong-distance wire So you see. l have been
| for ten minutes in that sweltering closet en-
deavoring to convince my wife that | am
really in Philadelphia, and mighty hard
| task it was. Every time now that | come
over here will have to go through the same
experience, and report my arrival by tele-
| phone"
But" said, ~ cannot see from all this
| that the telephone is an instrument of de-
ception. You are certainly in Philadelphia.
| There is no pretense about that. The only
conclusion | can reach is that your wife is
an unreasonably Jealous and suspicious wo
| man."
"Ahl' said the broker with a sigh, II
| have not told you the reason for her espion-
age. narrated my story upside down. l
read you the conclusion of my tale, but not
the preface. Listen. In an evil hour a friend
.unfolded to me the treacherous possibilities
| of the long distance telephone You can
| tell your wife he said. that you are going
to Philadelphia on business; on, say, the
p. m. train. You stay in New York that
night and have a rip-tearing time with the
| boys. About p. M. however, you go to
| the telephone in my Office and call up the
long-distance man and then tell him it is a
mistake, and ask him to ring up your wife.
| She gets the long-distance fellows call and
then you begin talking to her. "Where are
you, my love" she will ask, and you will
answer "In Philadelphia, sweet | only
| wanted to let YOU know that | arrived
safely" And then we can have high old
time, and no domestic storm will follow
81 listened to the voice of the tempter,"
| continued the broker, sadly. mot because
| wanted Ia have time with the boys, nor
because wished to deceive my wife. But
| there was an nsidious fascination about the
scheme. 1t seemed alluringly funny to talk
| from New York and make some one believe
was in Philadelphia. agreed to enter into
| the plan 1t was carried out successfully
| according to schedule IN to a certain point,
| hut, alasl no further. | reported my safe
arrival in Philadelphia, and then abruptly
rang the telephone off, and turned to my
friend laughingly, all oblivious of what was
bDtu ROltlR Ol at tic QUIET tllil "a Tie lIIle.
| But | found out later. It appeared that
| while had said what had TO say, my wife
had not, and was about TO convey to me the
| appalling information that the baby had
the collie, when she suddenly found herself
shut out by my ringing the telephone off.
You can only put stopper on woman's
tongue at long distance. That is why the
telephone will never be popular with the
sex. But she was determined to tell me the
dreadful news, and so she called for the
central office and demanded that it should
immediately get Philadelphia again She
was sarcastically informed that she had not
been talking to Philadelphia. and that her
again was rather superfluous. She natu-
rally inquired to where she had been talk
ing, and she was, of course, given the num-
Der of my friends telephone. OF course she
hastily looked into the list of telephone adj
dresses, and there, opposite the number
given she saw the name and office address
of the man whose company on our wedding
eve | foreswore. He is n trifie fast, you
know Well, need hardly harass you with
the sequel of my tale. OF course the cat was
out of the bag, and when | returned home
| next day my reception was of a nature so
chilling that the marrow in my bones has
not yet returned to its normal temperature.
Now do you wonder that my wife was diff
cult TO convince of my presence here to-day,
and that | feel as / do toward the cursed
long distance telephonep
A companion who had heard this tale
through said, when the broker had con
cluded: The telephone is not only wreck
er of homes, but it is a wreclIer of friend
ships. The other day longtime friend
called on me at my place of business. He
lives in the country. | was glad to see him,
and invited him to take dinner with me- He
accepted, and said; i will inform my wife
by telephone that you are about to honor us.
She may wish to make some preparation for
your comfort. l stepped to the cursed thing
and rang for my house As / was awaiting
reply, my friend said: What a wonderful
convenience that instrument is. ! have
never spoken over one, however. Can you
hear the voice distinctly just then / got
my wife at the other end of the line, and
when l had informed her of the contem-
plated visit ! turned to my friend and said:
| Put your ear here and notice how distinctly
you can hear the reply He did So A
| change came over the countenance.
| tbouoht IL was Sllrni.isa II was IWhat