Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-10-13
Bill Nye as a Hotel Guest.
New York World.

much OF their time pointing with pride to
her remarkable progress, but we are prone
TO dwell too much upon our advantages as
a summer resort and our adroit methods
of declining the presidency before we are
| asked, while we forge. some of our more
important improvements like the elevated
railway and the American hotel
Let US, for moment, look at the great
changes that have been wrought In hotels
during the past century. How marked
has been the i'm provements and how won
derful the advancement. Everything mas
been changed. Even the towels have
been changed.
Electric bells, consisting of long and
alert wire with an overcoat button at one
end and reticent boy at the other, have
taken the place or the human voice and a
low-browed red elm club. Where once
we were compelled to fall down mar
row staircase, now we can go down the
elevator or wander down the wrong
stairway and find ourselves in the
laundry.
Where once we were mortified by be-
ing compelled so rise at the table, reach 8
feet and stab porous pancake with our
fork, meantime wiping the milk gravy
out of large yellow bowl with our coat
tail, now We can hire tall, 1.-the gentle
man in a full dress suit to pass US the pan
cakes.
Even the bar-rooms of American hotels
arc changed. Once the bartender waited
til his customer ran all his remarks into
one long, hoarse word, with a hiccough
on the end, and then he took him by the
collar and threw him out into the cold
chaotic night. Now the bartender grad
oII1y r;c he Of lr1,,
customersis frozen out, and while he is
gone to the reading room to borrow some
more money the chemist moves the bar
somewhere else, and when the guest re-
turns he finds barber shop where he
thought he left a bar-room.
One hundred years, on their swift pin
ions, have borne away the big dinner-bell
and the sway-backed trunk that surprised
man so when he sat down upon it to
consider what clothes he would put on
first.
Tt is very rare now that we see I'm ted
States Senator sneaking two-year-old
Mambrino hair trunk up three flights of
stairs to his room in order to secure the
labor vote. Men, as we'll as hotels and
hotel soap, have changed. Where once
cake of soap would only last few weeks,
science has come in and perfected style
of pink soak, favored with vanilla, that
will last for years, aud new slippery-ein
towel that is absolutely impervious to
moisture. Hand in hand, this soap and
| towel go gayly down the corridors of
time, welcoming the coming and speed
| ing the parting guest, jumping deftly out
of the hands of the aristocracy into the
hands of receiver, but always calm,
smooth and latherless
| Nature did not fit me to be the success
| full guest at hotel. 1 can see why it is
so. I do not know how to iu press 9
hotel. I think all the way up from the
depot, as [ change hands with my hot
handled and heavy bag, how will stride
up to the counter and ask for the room
that is generally given to Mr.. Blaine, but
when I get there fall up against cold
wave, step back into large india-rubber
cuspadore, and my overtaxed valise bursts
open. While the porter and l gathSr up
my collars and gently press them in with
our feet, the clerk decides that he hasn't
got such a room as [ would want.
| then go to another hotel and succeed
in getting a room which commands a view
of large red fre-escape, a long sweep
of undulating ewes trough and a lightning
rod-usually No. ia near the laundry
chimney and adjoining the baggage
elevator.
After I have remained at The hotel sew
eral days, and paid my bill whenever
have been asked to do so, and shown
that did not eat much and that 1 was
willing to carry up my own coal, the pro-
prietor relents, and puts me liz a room
that is below timber line, and though it
is better room, feel all the time as
though had driven out the night watch
man, for the bed is still warm, and know
ing that he must be sleeping out in the
cold hall al! night as he patiently watches
the hotel, can not sleep until 3 or
O'Clock, and then have to get up while
the chambermald makes my bed for the
day.
try hard when enter hotel to as
sumo an air of arrogance and defiance,
but am all the time afraid that thera is
some one present who is acquainted with
me.
Another thing that works against me is
my apparel. In strange hotel man
will do better, if be has $50 only, and de-
sires to remain two weeks, to go and buy
a $50 suit of clothes with his money, TAX
ing his chances with the clerk, than to
dress like plain American citizen, and
expect to be loved, on the grounds that
he will way his board.
But there is now prospect for reform
in this line, a scheme by which a mans
name and record as guest will be his
credentials. When this plan becomes
thoroughly understood and adopted, a
modest man with money who prefers to
wear soft hat, will not have to sleep in
the Union Depot, solely on the ground
that the night clerk is opposed to soft
hat.
This scheme, to be brief, consists of
system of regular reports from tables
and rooms, which reports are epitomized
at the Office and interchangeable with
other hotels, on the principle of the R. G.
Dunn Commercial Agency. The guest is
required to sign his order at the table or
give the number of his room, whether the
hotel is run on the European plan or not,
and these orders in the aggregate, COM
ing from head walters, porters, cham
bermaids and bell boys, make up a
mans standing on scale from 4 to q.
For instance, we will say S. per day
house can afford to feed a man for a dol
lar a meal. The guest orders 50 worth,
rs bis -nuctoobo into oDouob of