St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1887-01-01
PlTH AND POINT.

-~Sicnce may be golden, but it doosn' t
necessarily MAKE a millionaire out of a
mute. -Phj50delphi0 Call.
"A young lady teacher in the Seward
public schools fell heir to $50, 900. Her
name was Began at last accounts. -
Omaha Republican.
-"What time did John 90 away last
night, Mary Ann?" at was quarter
of twelve. father ''Three,' she said
to herself, ''are a quarter of twelve.''
A New Yorker shot at his wife, but
the bullet hit nothing but her store hair.
1t is very hard to get at the exact bound
aries of q woman nowadays. -Om0ha
World.
I'm 'fraid of the darbn' said baby,
smuggling up to mamma one night.
"Why?" asked ma.nma. "'Causo it
comes so close to nc. - OUth's Conn.,
2aDi0n.
1t is said that William D. HowcIls
collects material for his novels BY shop
ping with his wife. Few authors secure
sufficient money return from their nov
els to adopt such IN eXpens We mode of
collecting material. --A03riStCWN Her.
aid.
"A correspondent wishes to know
chow to get rid of a fool" Procure a
loaded gun, put your mouth over the
muzzle and touch the trigger with your
toe. The bullet should be swallowed
whole -Lurttngtoa Free Press.
-Joncs-i would not be surprised al
any thing. Smithers-N if an angel
were to appear? Jones-WelI, tina,
might a>tonjSh me little. "a female
angel, for instance?n ''Fcmaic angelo
There amt any other kind; not much.'
-PstsdurGh Dlspatct.
An instrument has ben invented
called Il plethysmograph, which meas
ures the expenditure Of mental force in
thinking. A man in financial difficult
ties. who has a note to meet, will. it is
estimated, wear out two plctilysmO.
graphs a day.-Bosto~ Courier.
Two young women were gazing in
shop window, Said one, isn't it q
love Of 4 bonnet! I'm tempted to buy
it, even if it is expensive Said the
other. ''No, don't you do it: you are
too excited now. You would be sure to
regret it tomorrow morning. ~ Y.
Sun.
-Calino receives a letter from NADIA
gascar. 1t is dated from Maujakauda-
7 ananbana. "Why do they use such
long names?' asks one OF his friends.
Because" replied Calino, at is a
country where there is nothing in par
ticular to do, and they say two or three
words to Kill the time. ~. Y
Gr0pltjc.
-Doctor-What ais you, sir2 Pa
tient-I don't know, doctor. | have
such buzzing sound in my ears all the
time. Would you like to look at my
Doctor-No, never mind |
Bring your wife around some day. I'd |
like to look at hers. - YoRberS States, |
man.
-Maeistrate-Th young woman |
says that your continued staring at her |
annoyed her excessively. Prisoner-l |
never Intentionally annoyed a woman |
in my life, your Honor. Magistrate
Then why did You stare at her so per-
Prisoncr-Bccause she is
pretty, and | couldn't help it, Young |
him go, judge!-Lye.
Mrs. Anglomaniac I can not tell
you what a treat it is to hear you talk.
Y on have been in England so long that
every word you utter reminds me
Of the delightful lords and dukes I
used to meet. Returned tourist-Par-
don me, but England is the only coun-
5ry that did not visit. Mrs Anglo
maniac-Indeed! How very strange! |
was sure you had unconsciously ae-
luired the English vocal tones. Re-
5urned tourist-No; it is only a cold in
nv head Glen Bose EuLc0n.