Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-05
LAST HUT NOT LEA ST,

The first thing shoemaker uses in bottom ing shoe is the last.-Lowell Courier.
 "Well, what is it, Noras" "Indade,. mum, the waters cold" "What waterg' esThe hot water num- '-Boston Commonwealth
 Wife-That man has been staring at me for five minutes! Husband = We'll, you wouldn't have known it if you hadn't kept your eyes on him.-Life.
 When a man boasts that he moves in the best of society it may not be impertinent to suggest that it is probably because he is not permitted to stay in it.-Boston Transcript.
 New York Darber-Fine day. Customer Is it? New York barber-Yes; can't you tell whether it is fine day or nots Custom er-No; belong to the signal service bureau. Judge.
 At the opera-s'I can't explain the success of the singer" sNeither can l." "She sings through her nose most atrociously' D Perhaps that is the reason why everyone is waving handkerchief at her."-French Paper.
 A photographer has made the picture of a bullet after it had been fired out of a rife and moving at the rate of quarter of 8 mile a second. A number of amateur critics have viewed the picture and declare that it lacks repose.-Lowell Citizen.
 Country Editor-''Any payment for sub scriptions come in2" Daughter-'sYes, papa; bar1 O fall pippins." Country Editor
 'Well, I'll be hanged! When I wrote an edi- torial last week saying we'd had to live on them an hickory logs all winter, and wanted changei'-Judge.
 Wife (to husband )-Mother wants to come and make us visit, John; but I have writ ten her that just at present, while baby is teething, it wouldn't be convenient. If I give you the letter will you think to mail it? Husband with an air of perfect confdence) Wall chn I xuo,,1d,-DuoI
 F'What is the origin of the custom of throwing an old shoe after the departing bride and groom?" Ethel wants to know. We don't know, Ethel, unless it is some bar barous suggestion of she aside, in which case it is undoubtedly the invention of some mis- erable, heartless, dried up old mummy of 8 bachelor.-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. A young gentleman from this city is now making the grand tour to improve his mind He writes home that he is much pleased with the German capital, but does not think the Berliners very intelligent. "The other day I took a walk in pretty park called the Thiergarten and saw a very handsome work of art representing lion. Anybody would know it was lion. But they don't seem te know much of natural history here, as they I have marked this particular work A Wolff. Think of it! Such a thing could not happer ! in Boston. And look at the spelling!"-Bos | ton Beacon.
 The little brindle mule in the nigh leai slipped on the icy pavement, and Mir. Bergh' l best man was on the spot. ''Take that mule ! and have him sharpened before you drive l him another foot" FtHe is sharpened," sai6 ! the driver, 'trougher than file. Look at then hind shoes-corks on lem that 'ud wedge { l hole through an ice-house." The officer lifted hoof to see, and straightway looked ove1 the top of a four-story building. Buzzingly ran the word through the telephone, "One ol your men has been nearly killed by mule. Tenderly back came the muf1ed order, 'tSee if the mule is hurt, and if it is, arrest the man. '-Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.