Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-09-11
STORIES ABOUT MARK TWAIN.
His References for Papa and His Adyen
ture with the Dummy.


ture With the Dummy.
Mark Twain is in New York almost
every week. He is very much at home in
the city, though, singularly enough, he
never stops twice at the same hotel, that
is, not twice consecutively. This is be
cause he likes variety. 1t has nothing to
do with the bill or his methods of pay
ment Mark is all right, though every
now and then some old crony from the
West who hasn't struck pay dirt since '49
will turn up with queer story about the
great humOrist and his days of impecuni-
osity. Little do these detractors know
that Mark was called upon very suddenly
one day to furnish Californian testimO-
mails to his good character, and that he
passed through the ordeal in fashion that
should silence all earping criticism. The
story was somewhat thus:
AS every one knows, Mr.. Clemens first
met his beautiful wife while on the famous
voyage of the Quaker City, and he pursued
his acquaintance after their return SO
closely that at last the young lady's papa
one day called the ardent and devoted
Mark into his private study and said after
some preamble:
"Mr Clemens / have something to say
to you which bears upon q subject OF grave
importance, at least TO me and mine. You
have been coming here for some time and
your manners leave no doubt in my mind
as to your object. Now, my daughters
welfare is very dear to me, and before can
admit you to her society on the footing of a
sutton to her hand / would like to know
something more than do about you, your
antecedents, &c. Stop q minute! You
must remember a man may be good fell
low and q pleasant companion on a voyage
and all that, but when it is question as
grave as this a wise father tries to take
every precaution before allowing his
daughters affections to become engaged,
and ask you, as gentleman, that You
shall give me the names of some Of your
friends in California to whom | may write
and make such inquiries as I may deem
necessary, that is, if you still desire our
friendship"
1t was now Mark Twain's turn.
Sir" said he, bowling profoundly, as
became a young man who respects his
hoped for father-in-law. "Your senti-
ments are in every way correct. ap-
prove of them myself, and hasten to add
that you have not been mistaken in my
sentiments towards your daughter, whom
l may tell you candidly seems to me to be
the most perfect of her sex, and honor
your solicitation for her welfare. am
not only perfectly willing to give you
reference but am only to glad to have an
opportunity to do so, which my natural
modesty would have prevented me from
offering. Therefore, permit me to give
yOu the names of a few of my friends. /
will write them down. First is Lieut.
Gen. John McCOmb, Alexander Badlam,
Gen. Lander and Col. w. II. l.. Barnes.
They will all lie for me just "a would for
them under like circumstances
This conclusion broke the old man all
up, and he never asked more reference nor
wrote to those gentlemen. Those who
know this quartet will appreciate the
joke.
A few weeks before Mark Twain started
away on the trip mentioned above he was
standing on Montgomery street, leaning
up against a lamppOst, and he held cigar
box under one arm. Mrs. Capt. Edward
Poole, a very beautiful woman, and as
bright and witty rs beautiful, came along
and stopped and held out her hand, saying:
"Why, Mark, where are you going in such
hurry" Ppm m-o-o-v-ing" drawled
Mark, at the same time opening the cigar
box, disclosing pair of blue socks, pipe
and two paper collars.
Mark Twain never was much of ladies
man, and he always appeared like fish
out of water when he happened to be near
them. A good story is told of visit he
for some reason had to make to lady since
known as a very 6ne painter and writer,
though then she was only society lady"
and her powers were yet untried. There
were several young ladies visiting there
from Napa, and they took the occasion to
have some dressmakipg done, and they
had obtained a wax lay figure to try the
dresses on. The afternoon was rainy and
the girls had all be n at work, not expect
ing visisors and they had dressed the figure
in Mrs BIS clothes and went out of
the dining room to tea. In the meantime
Mark rang the bell and was admitted, and
while waiting he sauntered to the open
doors of the back parlor and there saw
Mrs. B, as he supposed, and made as
good bow as he could, which is not say
ing much, and said: Good afternoon"
No answer. He cleared his throat ard
advanced few steps, saying
'Ahem remarked, Mrs. B., that
that-it is raining"
Still no answer, and flushing be stuck
both hands far down in his pockets and
going q few steps nearer, said:
at is pleasant day, Mrs. B. came
up from the ALd Office tO-oh, pshawm he
exclaimed as he discovered his mistake
and the fact that three or four girls were
standing in the other door behind the real
Mrs. B, nearly strangled with suppress
ed laughter.
He managed to deliver his message, but
nothing would induce him to stay, and he
went away giving the miserable figure
malevOlent look as he went
NEW ATHENS ITEMS.