Sharp County record., 1887-06-30
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

olive and let live" has something sar-
donic about it.
"A scientist advances the PROPOSE
ton that hair around the mouth i'm
pairs the mental faculties.
An exchange speaks of the "arch-
itectural points" of paper. We sup
pose it refers to the columns.
"A California paper tells of fig leaves
that measured fourteen by eleven
inches and of fig six inches in circum-
ference.
If you think nobody cares for you
in this cold world, just try to play the
fiddle in a populous neighborhood.-
Providence Indicator.
We lay it down as an axiom that
the opinions of an editor who uses a
forty-four-caliber revolver for paper
weight carry conviction with them.-
Burlington Free Press.
Jones (speaking to his friend the
editor about the death of Brown, the
millionaire )-"How much is he worth
l wonder?" Editor (absent mindedly)
Mot much. Not more than a quar-
ter of a column at the outside. "--But-
talo Commercial AdUerttSer.
-"Jenkens, you are posted in church
matters, aren't you?" inquired one
travelling man of another. yes, more
or less" "Well, who are the laymen
of the church," "The laymenP Why
er-um, the memb IS of the choir, ]
reckon. ."-Merchant TraueIer.
-"How about this young man that
comes so often to see you, Millie?' said
the old gentleman to his daughter.
"Why, he's very nice and entertaining,
papa. I'd like to have you meet him.
"Very likely. But what is his positionP
Does he stand high in society?" "Oh,
yes indeed, papa. He is six foot two. :"
Merchant Traveller.
1t is related, as among the Incl
dents of the Charleston earthquake,
that young girl who had lost her
power of speech from infancy, through
severe illness, found it suddenly re-
stored in the terror of the shock. Her
first use of the recovered faculty was
to scream for fear; but finding she was
able to scream, it took but step to dis
cover that she could also frame words.
Popular Science Monthly.
| Some Other Time. ANY bear
about this neighborhood?" he inquired,
as he got off the train and leaned
an OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES breech-loader
carelessly in the hollow of his arm.
The woods is full of EN-" said citi-
zen; zone of 'em bit my brothers leg
off Yesterday. Are ye loaded fer bar,
mistorp" mo, SIR" replied the young
man, hastily boarding the train; Pm
only loaded for rabbits. ."-Harper's Ba-
zGr.
"A Missouri farmer driving home
at night from St. Louis, dropped coat
and bag of oats from his wagon with
out knowing it. His dog knew it
though, and lying down by them
watched them for three days, despite
all efforts to coax or drive him away.
At the end of that time the farmer
came back. He said that he had been
wondering what had become of his coat,
bag and dog, and hearing dog acting
strangely on the road, came to see if it
was his.-M y Sun.
The other day two ladies, while
driving up Walnut street passed the
husband of one of them sauntering
slowly along with pretty young wo-
man by his side. "There is Mr.. Man.
fiirt," said one of the matrons. Isn't
that Mrs. Grass widow with him?"
Mrs. Manfirt raised her glass to her
eve and drawled: Eyes, there goes
Theodore with his latest fancy. I'm
sure | don't know what she sees in
him. find him so uninteresting. -
PHILADELPHIA News
The only practic al joke in which
Richard Harris Barham (better known
by his nom de plume of Thomas In
goldsby) ever personally engaged was
enacted when he was a boy at Can
terbury. He entered Quakers' meet
ing-house, held up a penny tart and
said, solemnly: "Who ever speaks
first shall have this pie" go thy
way, boy" said a drab-colored gentle
man, rising, "go thy way, and"-
THE pie is yours, sir" exclaimed
Barham, placing it before the astound-
ed speaker and hastily effecting his es-
cape.
Freddie Ranger, aged ten years,
is the captain of the Boomer baseball
club at South Hampshire, Mass. Re-
Gently he received challenge from a
neighboving club to play, which he ac-
cepted. Before the game took place,
however, he prepared two reports for
the local papers, either one of which
could be used as the occasion de-
manded. One set forth in glowing
colors victorious result for the nine.
The other merely left space for the
score, with this concluding COMMENT:
'.The game was lost by the Boomers
| L 4. L 49,.