davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
HUMOROUS.

A fiat failurc-A poor pancake.
Food for rcfection-The good dinner
that you missed.
Motto of the massage doctor-I knead
thee every hour.
The honey bee is a regular merchant.
It cells combs for living
A rich girl may be hom9ly, but she
will never know it by hcarsay.
Ahcn is q very superior creature, but
she never could lay cornerstone.
Mcxico's liabilities are $151, O2O, 900;
assets, earthquakes and revolutions.
The flower known as the bachelors
button must DO one that does not stay
on long.
The oyster is like man in one re-
spcct. lie is of little use until you get
him out of his bed.
In a French agricultural school: 'Tell
me, pray you, how to keep mutton
fresh" ''By never killing the sheep"
In Washington last week a prisoner
passed off a counterfeit dollar on a po-
lice magistrate in payment of the fine
imposed. He knew that justice was
blind.
Some Florence ladies have given the
Queen of Italy an $500 fan. 1t is very
beautiful, but when Margarita wishes
genuine comfort she uses a two-cen
palm leaf.
"My DEAR" said her lover, 81 am freq
with an ambition to win your hand.
May l consult your father7' "Yes," she
softly murmurcd. An hour later he was
fired again.
The other day town cricr took in
charge lost child and proceeded to
hunt up its parents. On being asked by
a lady what the matter was he replied:
"Herc's an orphan child, madam, aud
I'm trying to find its parents"
Jack backward in his grammar)-.
"Papa, what part OF speech is womanl'
Papa (fresh from verbal engagement
with mamma, in which, of course, he
has been badly worstcd)-''Shc isn't
any part Of speech at all, Jack; she is
the whole of it,"
She pa'r,t in one hand, dog in the
othcr)-"Ycs, E lward, we've got every
thing, bclcvc-but where's the baby2'
He-"WbN gave it TO you" She
Il know; and l gave it back to you"
Ic-"Wcll, by jnks. if ] haven't gone
and left it in the parlor car!'
One OF the rules of a bicycle club
reads: "a horse should never be passed
on both sides at once" We suspect that
when a bicyclist attempts to pass on both
sides of hcrso "at once he is expelled
from the CLUB. He would certainly be
dismissed from temperance organiza-
| ton.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
All In VAIN.

All IN VAIN.
AS dCsolate bind that through darkness its
lost way is winging
AS hand that is helplessly raised when
Deaths sickle is swinging,
So is lfel Aye, the life that lends passion
and breath to my singing
As nightingale's gong that is full of sweet
ness unspoken,
As spirit unbarring the gates OF the skies
for token,
So is Lowell Aye, the love that shall fall when
his pinion is broken.
AS the tramp of the lesions when trumpsts
their challenge are sending,
AS the shout of the storm-god when light
nings the black sky are rending,
So is powerl Aye, the power that shall lie
i'll the dust at its ending.
SO short is our life; yet with space for all
things to forsake U.s.
A bitter delusion, dream from which
naught can awake us.
Till Deaths dogging footsteps at morn or at
eve shall oertake us
III, Rider Haggard.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
TcdIy's Interpretation.

The golden text for a certain Sunday
school was: "And the child grew and
waxed strong in spirit."-Lukc IL, 40.
The Christian Register says: Little
Ted's arm went up like flash when the
superintendent asked: "Can any of these
bright, smiling little boys or girls repea,
the golden text for to-dayl ALL how
glad it makes my heart to see SO many
little hands go upl Teddy, my boy,
you may repeat it; and speak good and
loud that all may hear" And they all
heard this: "And the child grew and
waxed strong in spirit like 2;40."
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
Hope and Memory.

Why should it bo that the misty past
Or the futureyet un cen,
Is dearer far to the heart, aias
Than tho present which lies between'
With every pulse OF the hearts red flow
Is woven dream and sigh,
For the happy days of the long ago,
And the glad sweet by and by,
There is a wisdom in natlresway
Which tho doubling heart ne'er knows;
We live tho best Of our lives each day.
From dawn to their sunlit close;
For the bliss wo tasted at youthful springs,
And the joys which arc to he,
Are brought each day on the gracious wings
OF Hope and Memory.
Nixon Waterman in the Current.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
A SymDatlletic Cow,

A Newtonian was picking apples on
Monday, when an old COW ran up to him
and then away, ac:ing very strangely.
Knowing her to be an unusually intelli-
gent cow, he suspected that something
must be the matter and followed her.
She led him to a COW in another part of
the orchard that was nearly choked to
death with an apple. After he hal re-
lieved her the old COW fairly cried for
joy and licked the 'ufTe er profusely, and
when the latter was driven into the
barnyard where she would be out of dan
ger refused TO leave her. i New Orleans
Picayune.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

gle bowling close by, or memorable creditors
Jerking the pillow from under your dying
head-Christ will come in and darkness
will go out. And though there may
be no hand to close your eyes,
and no breast OH which to rest your dying
head, and no candle to lift the night, the
odors of Gods hanging garden Will regale
your soul, and at your bedside Assil-salt the
rhariots of the king. No more rents to pay;
no more agony because flour has gone up' no
more struggle with the world, the flesh, and
the devil;n but peace--loug, deep everlasting
peace. Stephen asleepl
"Asleep in Jesus, blessed sleep,
From which none ever wake to weep
A calm and undisturbed repose,
uninjured by the last OF foes.
"Asleep in Jesus, far from thee
Thy kindred and their graves may be;
But there is still a blessed sleep,
From which none ever wake to weep"
You have seen enough for one morning. No
one can successfully examine more than five
pictures in a day Therefore wastofAhsa-
ing seen this cluster of Divine Raphaels--
Stephen gazing into heaven; Stephen looking
at Christ; Stephen stoned; Stephen in his
dying prayer; Stephen asleep.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
Navajo Indian WeaYers.

The art of weaving is of high antiquity
among the American aborigines, and was
brought to great perfection long before
the advent of the white man. Probably
In no tribe on our continent at the pres
ent time are better results in weaving OBJ
tanned or rudcr means employed than
among the Navajo Indians of New Mex
leo and Arizona, and among none, per-
haps, has the craft of the weaver been
less affected by European influences. In
preparing their wool the Navajos now
use the hand-card purchased from the
Americans. Previous to the introduc-
ton of this tool tedious method OF
picking with the fingers and rolling be-
tween the palm of the hand was employed,
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

NAVAJO INDIAN WOMAN WEAVING.
They still spin their wool with the old
distaff, consisting of a simple rod OF
wood thrust through hole in the center
of round disk, although their Mexican
neighbors on the Rio Grande, with whom
they have had constant intercourse fol
the past 800 years, use the spinning
wheel.
Their most important native dyes are
dull brownish red, deep black and a
brilliant yellow. Besides these they have
wool in three natural colors, viz, the
white of the ordinary sheep, the rusty
brown of the so-called black sheep, and
the gray wool of the gray sheep. The
Mexicans made them acquainted with
the use of indigo, and with this, by vary
ing the strength of the solution, they
color their wool of different shades Of
green. In addition they have another
material, which has added even more
than indigo to the beauty of their fab
RIGS. This is the bright scarlet cloth
known as obazeta. The face of this
cloth has a long nap; the Indians ravel it
and use the weft. This cloth was origi-
nally made IN Mexico, but 1t Is probable
that it is now made in England. if not in
the United States. OF late years much
American yarn has been brought into the
country, and the finer serapes are now
largely made of Germantown wool.
To make an ordinary blanket, the
weaver usually proceeds in this way
She selects two slender, straight trees,
about six or eight feet apart, or crects
two post about the same distance from
one another. To these she lashcs two
horizontal poles, one close to the ground,
the other at height of six Or eight feet,
according to the size of the blanket to
be made. This arrangement serves as
the fame to which the loom is secured.
With her papoose proppcd against near
by tree the Indian woman works from
sunrise till sunset, while her lord and
master is idling in the sunshine, supported
by her toll Chicaao Hrald.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
A hummer Taken In.

"Will have time to stop off and get
some refreshments" asked drummer on
Texas railroad of the conductor, as the
train stopped at station.
.'You will have plenty of time"
The drummer stepped off, and the
train went off without him The next
time the drummer saw that conductor he
took him to task very severely for his
conduct, complaining that he had to lay
over at that lonely place seven hours.
"Well," replied the conductor, "you
asked me ii you would have time to get
some refreshments, and if you couldn't
get all you wanted in seven hours, it seems
to me You are hog"
Verdict for the conductor, and no
appeal.-Sytings.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

Tie piece OF twine securely around
the neck of a bottle; then lay match or
the cork, hold it firmly, bring the ends
of the twine over it, and tic tight knot,
forming loop. You may remove the
match to show that you have simply tied
a loop. Then insert the match through
the loop, rest one end on the cork, and
lay the other on the projecting edge of a
table where the bottle will swing clear Of
any obstruction. If the match is but al
inch in length it will support the bottle
quite as readily and make the feat appear
all the more surprising.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

You know, OF course," said the old
man to the young man, that my
daughter has $i0o 600 ia ler own
righ p
"Yts, sir"
"And you are not worth Il cent"
"Tm poor, sir, but, great Scott, $780,
0OO IS enough for two! Why, I'm
economical TO mcauness."-INew York
Sun.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
COnSnlinC.

Collector. Il am losing great deal
OF time trying to collect this bill from
YOU"
Debtor. Don't worry about losing
time. I'm going to par you in time. -
lSi;tingS
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

The oldest Episcopal church in this
country-that i'm Williamsburg, Virginia.
VIII ch contains the font In which p, cahontas
was baptized and whien had among its com
n uni ANTS, George and Martha Washington,
Is said to be sadly ont of repair
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23
Simnle. Bnt Interesting.

To suspend bottle from a match laid
on the edge of table may seem an i'm
possible feat, but, says ST. Nicholas, ex-
pertinent will prove how easily it may bo
accomplished.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23

There are 232 people in Germany, according
To the last census, who are 100 years of age
or over.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-06-23


pass on now, and look at Stephen stoned.
The world has always wanted to get rid of
good men. Their very life is an assault upon
wickedness. Out with Stephen through the
gates Of the city. Down with him over the
precipice. Let every man come upand drop
a stone upon his head. But these men did
not so much kill Stephen as they killed them
selves Every stone rebounded upon them
While these murderers are transfixed by the
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
The Brains Of Tai,eyrand.

One chapter OF Victor Iugo's "posthu-
nous Works" Is devoted 10 the death OF
Tallryrand "Wel, dby before yesterday,
on the l7th si Nry 1925, THIS man died.
The doctpir hove ,uhamed the corpse. Ia
orari 10 do tblR they, after the manner OF
ihe LgyI tiaus, removed the bowels and thr
nrpire This duur, after having transformed
PnrCo ralleyrAud lrtu mummy, aud nav
inp nailed Il " n a culiiu lined with white
.tiiI, they sru' .WlN, leaviu,s uh the table
The train -tt.t nJl'l witch had thought 50
~ uuCU, IN, pirtu su many mru, constructed
SO Mauy ambitious eillcC,, managed TWO
rtyuiuuuns, deceived twenty dDes, held the
word In check The doctors gone, valet
entered, saw what Ties bad left, aud said
Hello they bave rvrgUllen this. What
shall 1 do win ny lie remembered that
there wa etWel 90 ihs erle,t Iui 50 he
went Out and tAIcw ihe u.tius iutu this
sewer, F'rj- rcu4l W
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
NOIts NND GoSSir.

THERE IA one irbwrtrk about bathing,
sa'd yourg Nom.u3 ynn rau't very well
wear Il bu.tls W ttr warr 4 Boston
CCuti'r.
GENERAL NEAL Duv 'nlks of removing
from Muincto New York Ne has gre, ad.
miralion for Muor llewl't asa temperance
r,fuimer.
X. D. BREwISGToN y Hannibal, Mo. Is
said to he the oldrst II Ing Odd Fellow. iIs
is uinety y.four, and Joined the order In l,i'i.
more in 1899.
MIR. Henry IRVING, Miss Ellen Terry aal
the rest OF the company have engaged pas
sage for the United States by the steamer
Aller, TO rail October 70
"LIFr-sAyERn Hu,sFY, who was shot in
New York some days ago by a drunken 20.
llceman, died yesterday of his wounds
Poor Captain Jask deserved better fate.
The certificate OF Incorporation OF the
United States Mutual Benefit Association Of
the Society OF Veterans OF the Regular Army
ard Navy Of the United States was filed In
New York yesterday.
STATE REPRESENTATIVES, CLARENCE A.
ALDRICH will be Assistant Attorney-Gen-
oral of Rhode Island under the new admin.
drieh, but Democrat.
sAMuEL BAKTR, who died at jackson, o.,
last year, was q native Of franklin County,
Pa, and schoolmate of James Buchanan's
Many years afterward he was given clerk
ship in the Treasury by President Buchanan,
and in 1889 President jackson appointed
him consul to Valparaiso.
SOME one sent poor picture OF Patti to
the songstress with request that she write
her autograph below 1t. She said: "Gooi
gracious What an abominable picture ! |
can't sign that She thought moment
Then she turned 1t over and wrote on II {:
"Who is this / don't know. ADELINA
PATTI"
GABRiEL s. CuouTEAU, son of the foun-
der Of the city Of st. Louis, died IN that city
last Saturday, aged niuety-three years. He
leaves hut two survivors OF those born in
regime. One OF these IL his cousin, Henry
q. Soulnrd, aged 81 Years, and the other
Francois Guinette, aged ninety-two.
A DISTINGUISHED group Of foreign visitors
is registered ut the Clifton House, Niagara
Falls, including SIr Samuel and Lady Grlf-
tltb, Australia, Lnrd ard Lady Stafford
England; Messrs John Campbell and Will
liHm OlI0eld, members Of the British Par.
lament; Lituteusnt George DulyryDple, OF
General BlAlio's staff, YOkOham5; and tour
lists Of distinction from lEdia, Australia,
China, England, Scotland, France and Por-
tugal.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
NEW BOOKS RECEIVED.

From Robert Beall, 1876 Pennsylvania
avenue.
The FISHERY QUESTION: Its Origin, His.
tory and Present Situation, with Map of
the ADglo-American Fishing Grounds and
Short Bibllography. By Charles Isham,
New York; G. =. Putnam's Sons.
THE AMERICAN ELECTORAL SYSTEM. BY
Charles A. O'Neil, LII. B. A valuable
addition to the political history of The
country concerning question Of which
the literature is meagre aud the sources
Of information peculiarly Inaccessible.
New York; G, 7. Putuam's Sons.
COLUMNS; or, a Hero Of the New World.
An Historical Play. By D. S. Preston.
New York: @. z. Putnam's Sons.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22

rered fer u big s. &C of the property,
viii, Of cour.c, ngree that Mrs.
Mitchell is s'up'd, obstinate, short
sighted woman.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
yHs CAPTIVE IsuOoK.

A hrouhjot from tho uUuutans sped,
Ard wandered on ,ts merry wly,
II wandered where H. fprcy led,
The live ong tigNt, the liysluug duy.
n surg OF ds,is where bird solgs dow,
II sang Of haUnt- where lil,u, grow,
/. sang ~ tone. thnt lovers know,
Al. day, all day,
The surbcams on its rlpplo7 Law
And laughter through It's cadence broke,
And as II danced away, away,
uunumbered hurmunius awoko.
II luitered by the droopug flower,
II sang the love dream Of tho bower,
The song was new from hour 10 hour,
All day, all day
A miller came, one morn o. May,
And bound the brOOklet 10 his mill,
Where labor wears the hours away,
Aud It's harsh sound Is never still.
And round and round to I'LL his store
The water turns the mliwheel DER,
But, abb the brooklet sings no more
All day, all day.
-ILaura Y, IIinsdsle, in the American Maga-
zine.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
10 DIdn,t saw mRats.n

EDITOR Critic: Your correspondent, in
his review of "La Belle Helene" accuses
me Of having made use OF that vulgar ex-
preston, "Rats," N the stage. can as
sure you that such word was not spoken
by myself or either of my brother artists
have been too long in my profession not
TO know how to entertain my audience
without descending to yulgarity. As to
the hurlesque inoongruitics, | may tell you
"La Pelle Helenen always was. and is still,
an extravaganza, being burlesque on the
history of Helen of Troy. VIII you kindly
do me the justice, then, by putting matters
straight for me, and add that fixed up the
entire libretto, from its French flavor, to
suit Mr.. Forts company and the patrons
who visit his theatre. Truly yours,
FREDERIC SOLOMON.
Albaugh's, June 22, 1887.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
DAILY EXCURSIONS.

10! GREAT FALLS AND CABIN
III John Bridge. Steam packet Excelsior
Wednesday and Friday, leaving High street
and Canal, Georgetown, ut 5 a. m Fare, 80
cents for round trip,
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22

THE widow of the late Alexander
Mitchell Of Milwaukee declines to con.
test her husbands will, very sensibly
concluding that with $200,00O In cash
from the estate and an annual income
of $4,000, she can get along quite
comfortably. The lawyers who hun,
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22

ISy
BEALE'S DINING ROOMS FOR LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN,
$50 Pa ave.
Meals served at all hours.
Breakfast and dinner made speciality, for
csc uer meal.
Try our oysters and oyster lunch.
N B.-For further particulars, call and SEQ
us-O20 Pa. ave. -
Il. NJ. BEALE, Manager,
Formerly of Beale Bros,
tDl nth at N w
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
EoH SALE.

beautiful farm, containing about 100
acres. near Waterford. Loudonn County, Va;
good buildings; excellent water; no moro
healthy locality IN the celebrated Lpuduun
valley; will ho sold loss than value, Apuly to
WEsTCOTp, WILCOX ~ WINE,
1907 Pa ave
LNOR EALE-FINE FARM on 7rH 81
Il turnpike, Of 90O acres; fine fnrm uoal
Savage Station, and miles from Laurel,
T5acres. - .
TYLER & RUTHERFORD,
11g1 n a. n W
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
WASHINGTON, JUNE %, 1887.

THE action of Citizens Association
No. s, at their meeting last night, in re.
solving not to elect delegates to the
Committee Of One Hundred, but to
take steps for the formation of gen.
eral county organization, indicates that
considerable variance Of opinion still
exists between city aud suburbs rela-
tive to the question of Improvements.
While 1t is 20 be regretted that there
should be any want rf harmony among
the different parts 'i tr' District, the
citizens Of The county src not 10
be censurcl tor u.isiug upon
fair deal, auI tn, very f,cr
that they are thus aruu 4 10 their oTu
interests shows TINT IL Congress fails In
legislation for the District next winter
ii will not be for want ot thorough In.
formation as TO the general features Of
the situniiou. The special grievance
of which the Mount Pleasant Associl.
tion complains is that the Central Com
mittce refused 10 allow he Eighth Dis.
iriCt its proper repres, ,nlalipn, and adj
mitted delegates not entitled to seats.
This is vital point, and ought to be
adjusted on some fur aud satisfactory
basis. If this cannot he done, an iu-
dependent organization seems to be the
necessary result. The only danger we
see in such way of doing business is
that Congress may take advantage of
this condition of affairs and refuse ap-
propriations that are much to be de-
sired on the ground that the people of
the District are unable TO agree upon
what they really do want.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22

cered fer a big s CO of the property.
Will Of c'ur'c, ogree that Mrs.
Mitchell is n s'up'd, obstinate, short.
sighted woman.
WuESEyER President Cleveland Is
called upon % send messages Of condo.
lence or congraulalion to foreign po.
tentates he uniformly employs Ian.
gunge suited to the occasion. His con.
gratulatory letter to Queen Victoria
upon the tlftleth anniversary OF her
coronation is especially felicitous. The
sentences are well chosen, and he has
carefully avoided any allusion to the
Irish question which might be mislnter.
pre,cd. The message, besides being
courteous and automatically complete.
will also serve to further cement the
cordial and friendly feelings which
exist between the two great nations.
EVIDENTLY the airbrake is not In.
fallible. The accident at Havrc de
Grace yesterday affords melancholy
proof of this fact. The railway signal
service has been brought to a high
state Of perfection and the railway
chronometcrs are almost as unerring as
the sun; but there's much room left for
inventive skill in the development Of
brakes that can be depended on.
THE visit of the Presidents private
secretary to New York is not entirely
for recreation, lie had long confer.
ence yesterday with Collector Magone,
of which. according 10 the papers, the
result will be the dismissal Of several
customs officers Of hish position,
whose Republican politics has become
offensive to the Civil Service Reform
views of the Administration.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
PROVISIONS.

I'IRCLE MARKET. - Having Pur-
u chased the stock and goodwill OF Circle
Market, corner of VI, ave, aud l. St, We earn
estly solicit the liberal patronage given Our
predecessors, and. by making such additions
careful attention to business and prompt de.
livery of orders, hope 10 give satisfaction TO
all who patrOniZe us, Respectfully,
S. l.. WILLETT a. S II GWYllNE,
Successors TO T. s, Brooke a. Co,
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
NOR sALE-srecInI nnrr.,ns-

E'OR SaLE-G reat bargain on lith
Il ST, bet p and q sts u W, large threc.stury
brick mod inns; lot lsxl05 to alley; can bG
turned into store at little expense; price,
$500. Also beautiful lot on New Hampshire
ave bet l. and NJ sts, 90 feet front; price, sl.7j
PER foot. j. W. =. MYERS Is SON,
1923 New York ave.
The Washington critic., 1887-06-22
MANIFESTATIONS.


w ANTIeD-An Unfnrnished Room
w and board by Young gentleman; per
manent II suited; Mount Pleasant or north
west prcfcrred; would like private family
can give best references. Address p, Critic
pttpp