Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-02-03
THEORY AND PRACTICE.
An Entertaining Little Story with Moral
Worth Remembering.

An Entertaining Little Story with a Moral
Worth Remembering.
No doubt YOU remember my friend
Bolton Q. Jones. Certainly you have
either read or heard of his work on
1.-The Philosophy of Success" and OF
his book, 1.-The Factors in Modern
Progress" The latter he used to call
his magnum opus. 1t was certainly a
tremendous work. 1t contained nearly
a thousand closely printed pages, and
covered the. whole ground of political
economy, and was printed by subscrip-
ton. 1t received appreciative reviews
both in this country and in Europe,
and some of the chapters were trans
lated into German and printed serially
in Munich periodical.
You would think from reading Boil
ton Q. Jones great works that he,
| above all other men, would know how
to tumble around in the world and
make a success. And vet such is not
| the case. He is, or was, the most
shiftless man under the sun. A large
part of his books is devoted to a
trenchant exposition of the financial
problem. In his chapter on 1.-The Use
and Misuse of Money he fairly reeks
with knowledge and information. But
in the way of getting along, Bolton Q.
Jones knows no more of the use of
! money than a baby. He doesn't know
how to earn it, and after he earns it he
doesn't know how to keep it. This is
tho Ihlo with hn ocf ~ hut
with Bolton Q. Jones the trouble is in
the nature of disease.
remember that he had theory that
he ought to take an interest in big
Billy Blazer, who came out of Cherokee
County, as green as a gourd and as
rough as a chestnut burr. Of every
thing that Bolton @. Jones knew, big
Billy Blazer was as profoundly igno-
rant as it is possible for a man to be.
At the same time. he knew how to take
care of himself. He knew the value of
thrip, and he knew how to take a thrip
and turn it over in the palm of his hand
and make sevenpence out of it. At the
same time Bolton Q. Jones wept bitter
tears over Blazers ignorance. He was
in the habit of going into Blazers store
and having long talks with him in a
fruitless endeavor to teach him the
principles of political economy.
Those were good times for Bolton
Q. Jones, for he invariably concluded
his lessons in political economy by
borrowing fifty cents or dollar from
Blazer. I think Blazer was fond of
Jones, for his clerks said that Jones
was the only man on earth that Blazer
would sit and talk with for an hour at
time. How long this continued /
can not say, but know that on one
clustering afternoon, when Jones had
concluded his oral essay on money and
its uses, Blazer turned to his ledger
and remarked:
"Jones, you know all about money
and things. Do you know how much
you owe mep"
well, 1 can't say that I do" re-
piled Jones.
Just five hundred and sixty-three
dollars to a cent" said Blazer.
After this Jones sat by the stove and
wrs quiet for a long time. Finally he
got up and went out. The next day
he failed to put in an appearance. He
was also missing the next day. The
third day Blazer sent one of his clerks
around to Jones' and he brought back |
information that Jones was sick in bed. |
did you see him in bed?" asked |
Blazer.
81 did. SIR replied the clerk, "and
he is mighty sick man."
That night Blazer went himself to |
Jones' house. The great political |
economist lay in bed, the very shadow
of his former self. He seemed to have |
wasted awav in day. Blazer thought |
he had never seen such squalor as sur
Jones. The floors were bare, |
the walls were dirty-every thing bore
testimony to the restitution of the |
great theorist. Mrs. Jones, with her
pale face and frayed dress, completed
the picture.
Blazer was not theorist himself. He
sat by Jones long enough to see the
real state of things, and then he went
out and ordered a couple of doctors.
He had his drayman sent for, and by
ten o clook he had filled the house with
provisions. Jones recovered, but he at
tributed Blazers charity to admiration
for his theories, and he made himself a
greater nuisance than ever. Blazer
tolerated him for long time, but was
to tell him after awhile that
he had no sort of respect for his ideas.
Jones snubbed him. He not
only refused to call on Blazer, but actu-
ally refused to speak to him on the
street And so these two good friends
parted.
How long Bolton Q. Jones has been
dead 1 do not remember, but Blazer,
who is wholesale merchant in St.
Louis, never forgets to send Mrs. Jones
a handsome check at the beginning of
the year.-Atlanta Constitution.
There is nothing better for dish
cloths than old or cheap or part worn