The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1887-08-25

other excellent qualities would 70 for
nothing. My mechanical readers will
easily guess the principle of the Eat
tachment." A series of dimiunitive
organ-tubes were arranged in the chest.
the valves Of which worked by clock
springs, while the sounds were con-
Quoted through larynx delicately con-
structed from turkeys gizzard) to
the mouth. The first attempt with the
combination produced only a series OF
unearthly gasps, at the bottom Of which
| thought l detected the ghost of a
gobble; but little modification of the
valves, the treatment Of the gizzard
with weak solution Of aqua regia,
which softcned away all its harsh re-
miniscences, and the interposition
between this and the tube Of a pair
ofminiature drum heads (made ofmouse-
skin) as reverberators of the sound,
gave me the happy result Of a complete
series Of ..croon waves" was able
also finally to arrange these in three
sets of chords, SO that the grooming
could be made piano, andante. or
furiossissimo, according to the age,
condition. or degree of obstreperousness
of the infant being operated upon. Of
course the clockwork upon which the
grooming depended was entirely distinct
from the system controlling the move
ments of the body. being of necessity
much more complex and delicate, rs
supplying what might be termed the
brain power of the creature.
A carefully prepared rag baby was laid
in the arms Of the expectant mother,
the two sets of works were wound up,
the starting springs touched, and the
rocking, and fondling. and grooming
commenced with such perfect natural
ness, grace, and harmony. that | was
carried away by my delight and caught
myself saying, MY dear, you are a
grand success and reflect credit on your
maker.
put on the stops and the baby drop
ped with an easy motion of the arms
into the mothers" lap, the grooming
softened down into the gentle murmur
Of the ..piano," then ceased altogether,
and the mother sat looking ut her sleep
ing child with an aspect of such calm
dignity and sweet motherliness that |
was irresistibly impelled to give her a
kiss of husbandly approval.
what would Polly say?' Thought.
as wiped from my lips the slight touch
left on them by the damp paint Re-
moving the Tag baby, | lifted with some
effort the chair containing my handi-
work down to the door Of my parlor,
which, since the advent of the twins.
had been appropriated by them as a
special private nursery, where my oc-
casional presence was permitted only on
sufferance. The moment seemed pro-
pitious for my experiment.
could hear the twins yelling with
yociferous idignation for their slave Pol
", who evidently been called into the
farther nursey by some outbreak among
their predecessors. opened the door,
placed the rockingham cozily in front
Of the fire, smoothed down the drapcry
and loosened out the hair of its occu-
pant, and gently laid twin in each
arm. A touch on the springs and the
arms moved up clasping the still clam
orous infants to her breast, the head
bent over, the feet touched the floor,
impelling the chair with uniform
swing, and with an equally uniform
monotony the steady waves of the
''crooning" poured forth from her lips.
The twins hushed their angry COM
planning and looked up inquiringly al
the being to whom their destiny lin the
shape Of their father) had coniided them
It was moment of Aerrible suspense
If their keen perceptions discovered tn,
fraud; if they decided tina; in addition,
to the creature comforts Of warmth
and motion, and noise, it was essential
to their happiness to have also the ..jt
ne sails quot" Of motherliness that my
substitute could not bestow upon then
if lin the language of the day. their un
| satisfied yearningsrcvealed to them thai
their souls were not fed and their sensi
bilities not ministered, to my beautiful
theories would fall baseless to III.
ground, and my labor and hopes would
indeed, have been in vain.
| What an ideal domestic existenc,
would be that in which the natura
article conld be brought to safe stol
within tenth of second!
1t now remained only to put TIN
finishing touches on my "mother'
in completing her attire and adornment
l gave careful attention to the detail
of these, for / knew that those twin
were very sharp fellows, and did no
propose to give them any ground TO
irreverence or even criticism, in tn.
appearance of the lady who was Il
stand to them in loco matris. One o
Polly's nursery gowns, with the colo
or which the twins were perfectly ia
millar, was skillfully distracted from
her wardrobe, and gracefully drape,
round the mother whose arms an,
breast had first been carefully padded
The face was deliberately touched u
by my artist friend (whom l ha'
finally been obliged to take int
my confidence) until it wore an air Q
maternal affection and solicitude almos
surprising that of the original, and tn
hair (Which was one of the most expen
sive items of my purchased paraphel
malay was arranged as nearly as posi-
bic in the regular .'disarrangement" t
which the babies were accustomed.
This found difficult to effect withou
impairing the safety of the fastening.
and dreaded somewhat the chance 9
one of the twins in an enterprisin
moment giving grab at the ''ligh
ringlet just sweeping his face" but
was risk that had to be incurred.
And now she was complete and m
heart beat high with triumph and es
pectation, and visions came before III
of the time when, with whole team G
"artificial mothers grooming peace an
comfort through the house, Polly and.
could roam away in blissful idlenes
and renew the days of our youth.
| But no! Firmly held in the warn
embrace of the untiring arms, event
rocked in the steady swing of the chat