Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1887-12-19

The waves of old ocean are by no means
ready TO sleep when they put their white
caps on.
If some of the KEYS of piano were
utilized to lock it up, this world would
be a little brighter
You may speak as you will of pedigree
generally but in a sleeping car its mans
berth that raises him above his fellows.
Laundrymen are the most humble and
forgivfng beings on earth. The more
cuffs you give them the more they do for
you.
Husband dressing Where in the
world are my boots. my dear? Wife-On
the mantelpiece, where you left them last
night
Fifty-seven years ago people were gaz-
ing in wonder on IneIr Hrst gas IIguU. To
day they are gazing in wonder at their
last gas bill.
I'm a lily said the tramp. 81 toll
not, neither do spin, and I'll bet my
boots Solomon in all his glory was not ar
rayed like me-"
Nasty says that nothing pulls young
man down like whiskey'' We have also
been told that nothing ''eIevateS" Il man
Ike whiskey.
A young lady correspondent wants to
know how she can tell truly good young
man. That depends a great deal Oh what
she wants TO tell him.
The front gate and the hammock,
The old bench in the grove,
Have had their day and must give way
To the corner near the stove.
.sI'm going to leave, NUM- ''What
for? l am suHe have done all the work
myself in order to keep a girl" ''Well,
mum, the wFk-is not done to suit me-
Nevada hunter spent three months
looking after a bear, and the mans reia-
tions have spent three months looking for
him. They think he must have fonnd the
bear.
4 rooster that strums on the piano is
exciting the people of Salem, Ill. There
is one thing to be said in favor of such
a piano player: the rooster goes to bed
at snudown.
Lieutenant Bangs (registering at a
/ Los Angeles hotel): Whats u good
room worth?" Clerk: Rooms are worth
l Sc now: but prices may advance during
tie night" :
Old lady Con her way TO church)-DesAs
Won know. little boys, that it is wrong 4
play ball OF Sunday? Little boy-We 4nI
/ Faayin': we=are only practicin' for n
morrer's game.
1t doesn't takea northern invalid long
to get-9el in Florida. When the first
! weeks hotel bill is presented he general
I iy says - guess I'm well enough &c
start for home this afternoon" -
Ito what do you attribute the curative
I properties eGyonr sPr1ngs2" asked Wis
Pitor TO axhAla resort. .'Well, answered
theprOpasaps tss@ gAtfully. I guess the
Lsaiverusiffs L [done has had something
Fass'ao, with it, ~~
Duluth four-year-old hopeful who
was receiving an application of the cor
rectiye rod looked up TO his offended
motber. who had told him ef4h b prehis
toric whereabouts, and said - j, nam
ma, 1 wish = atrEsd in heaven.
A reportef n describing ffse murder OF
man named JJfkins, said: The mui
dsxer was evidently in quest Of money
-bsnckiiy Mr@se<4sps had deposited al
Zsnds in TIE bank sasaay before :
- lost nothing but hfs' 'aFfe.
..Do xou sfsys fs4Ee: SHeet-Home' 70
sentiment a6Hesssse sgSed an inter
viewer of Fsfa- mes, II gs8ght- An
- Patti unDlushsl F. she san
= il from sentimeA 90 sthins abo1
-, 600 a night
Il don't believe in feeding tramPs !
W. the DOOR said Mrs. Crimsonbaek- ''Ye
fetd them once and they are sure to con
; ssTsck.v swell, l don't know replit
Mrs. Yeast; Il always give them ores
=. s.sen they come TO nay door. and car
.&x.1hak / ever knew one 10 come u
+seeond time. .soh, well, Mrs Yeast. "
s. yoes own bread. 90 you notFr Th
n - II thatygas said. and YET Mrs Yea
7 weB3 down sthe sstres5 like straw on
~indsdazs n
I'D = fa Aa-es- o1 rs'sssf : admit ss . .n
g g asa s..sa @s., b ,..as fl.s bsly =
- gesea ~ sDpizfes 4ua otiss>i5oeerfai saeslsela
RI L.. B.is IkbY - raEs4s tbezsenedy soF The
> - of elslIsszeu- Prc-zs eens- bottle
= z<zIeu !. peE1retiy reliable ma alesae i needed
..n5aT~ ts- liver ssres.sss4sen ne sssin4rh and