The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-18
BRIGHT BITS.

Don't run against chimney sweeper; he's
liable to bring SCOT against you.-LotceU Citi-
zen.
A NEW BRAND Of Christmas stocking has been
made in Chicago. IL holds a five-gallon demi-
john.-Nelo YORK Morning Journal
Ir SEEMS to be unfortunate that there are not
enough Presidential nominating conventions to
go around to all the big cities that want them
Boston Post.
DO YOU believe in luck, my good man ''asked
asuperstitious old lady of tramp. Il can't
say that do, num- replied the tramp, be
cause never had any"-Judge.
Doctors say that drinking large quantities of
water will produce fat. To show its abSurdity,
look at q fish. 1t fairly lives in water yet why
is it so bony: Binghdnaton Republican,
BARBER Ito contryman in char)-You don't
get shaved often guess sir?
Countryman-Don't get shaved often? ! cum
to town oncet a month, mister, an, b. gosh,
get shaved every time cum.-Epoch.
TEAcHER-What is the shape of the earth,
Johnny?
JOHNNY dunno
But didn't tell you it was roundgh
"Hes. but don't believe it all the same. "
Te.rdS SJtings.
''THAT's one of those Hanlan razors, is it
mott said the customer.
"Hanlan razorl" Intercepted the baber.
"Yes, pulls like thunder" gasped the suf-
ferer.
No said the barber, 1--WE call it the Teemer
now. Boston Budget.
HELEN, said auntie, bring me clean apron
to put on you"
Now, Helen and sister had aprons alike and
through mistake she got one of sisters and
looked with surprise at the sleeves, which came
over her hands, well, auntie" she exclaimed,
II dess my apron has outgrown me. "-PtILd-
delphiG North american.
1.-THE great trouble with most people is"
shouted an impassioned orator, they never
know when they've got enough"
Then his audience began to grow thin as one
after another left. and the imprisoned orator
discovered before he got through that quite
number of people know when they've got
enough.-Neto York Sun.
AN EXCHANGE says that a folded newspaper
placed under the coat in the small of the back
is an excellent substitute for an overcoat. There
is considerable warmth in a newspaper. that s
a fact. Many a man has become heated by
simply reading an article in a newspaper; and
at such times he wants 70 make it hot for the
editor, too.-Norristouss. IerGLd.
Su,iEwHAr AMBIGUOUS Visiting Friend-You
have got pretty house.
Lady (who has just moved in)-Yes, but we
are all in confusion, and it does take such long
time to get things settled.
V. F.-TeS, long time.
L.-Yes, but hope we'll be all settled before
you call again.-BoStoH Courier.
POLICEMAN .0eaning against peanut stand)-
Cape fer me- we catico-hided Oyetalianl
Peanut vender gapeS.
Policeman-Gape wider We shnake!
Peanut vender turns his head inside out,
Policeman-It's we'll we did ellis his tail
pocket with peanuts and goes into saloon for
something to keep awake on PUCK.
A DETRoIrER who has Travelled extensively
and who has seen Marie Antoinette's watch
in the pawnshops of New York Philadelphia.
Cincinnati Chicago and other places, stepped
into a local pawnshop yesterday and asked of
three balls:
"How happens it that you haven't Marie An
toinetteS watch here -
Haven't got it GEORGE Georger
''We ?" answered voice from the rear OF
the store.
Where is our Marie Antoinette's watch ?"
'Sold it day before yesterday"
"Oh, you did. That's all right. Please cal
next week. my friend, and we shall have a new
supply. "-Detroit Free Press.