Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-02-18

/ ~ ana BallbldCJOIy Icplg' III wv
DAYS we received the following, as
well as | am able to recall it at this
date:
SAGE HEN RANCH,
June 81, 1871.
Mr.. Chairman and Gentlemen Of the
Fourth of July Committee
Your favor regarding a speech
upon the grounds near the old Buf-
falo Waller, on the Fourth Of July,
| is received. l am no speaker on
such an occasion as that, and /
therefore beg to be excused. There
is only about one man out OF ten
thousand that can make a good
Fourth of July speech, and he is
not, as a general thing, good for
anything else.
In the first place, | don't seem
to have the necessary voice. |
have tried it once and did not sue
ceed. The majority Of the crowd
went home mad because they
couldn't hear, and the balance
went homemad because they could.
SO | haven't got the voice. | can
stand over on Roundup No. . aud
talk to the foreman on No. 4 easy
enough, but l can't talk against a
Sabbath school loaded with fire
crackers.
Moreover, gentlemen, | am not a
ready thinker under these circum-
stances. | am a man OF fair busi-
ness Judgment or else I couldn't
have accommodated $500 head Of
No. / 4.year.olds worth S35 apiece
in Omaha with nothing to begin on
five years ago but condemned
government mule and a hopeful
disposition. You will admit that
as a financier / am no slouch, when
/ tell you that in all that five years
the assessor has never got near
enough to hold a conversation with
me or to sock valuation on my
herd.
The trouble with me is that
when l get up on my feet to talk
to a large and perspiring thrOng of
people my idees are like bunch
OF cattle in the stock yard, for in.
stance. The who blamed crowd
wants to skin d. Ugh the shute
and be loaded into the same car at
the same minute, or else they won't
a condemned one Of 'em agree to
be loaded. That's the best way |
can express it. I've either got
idees enough to load car, all at
once, faster than | can get rid of
'em or els" | can't think of blam.
ed thing. Still, continuing to car.
ry ont the comparison, gentlemen,
| want to say to you that | have
also had big fat, 5-year-old Nav
erick idee got wedged into my head
when | tried to make a speech, and
1t would neither 20 ahead into the
speech nor back out for five min
utes You can fancy man of my
position In society standing up be-
tore mob Of his fellowmen and
twisting the tail of reluctant idee
till he is red In the face!
| love my country, gentlemen,
and love the dear old flag. You
don't hear me brag about it, though
it's nothing TO be ashamed of, but
have fought for this flag when, if /
had listened to the voice of con-
science, would have gone to Can.
ada. | have marched along the
endless dusty roads Of the south
with a seal brown musket on my
shoulder for days and days with
out seeing anything to shoot. |
have slept in the bottom OF a trench
: night after night, expecting every
, time that would take my break
, fast next morning in the New Je
rnsalem. All this have done be
, cause thought it was right, and
, I think so yet; but ! am not good
) off.hand extemporaneous speaker
| on the Fourth of July.
h. am with you in the spirit OF
q that day. 1 will bow my heat
= when you open the exercise will
D prayer. / will hum with you in
4 low, gutteral tone when the gle
club sings "America." willpaus
in my labors while the Declaration