The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-05-27
THE llMeKILN CLUB.
Elder Toots vindicsted-Negroes Rarely
Go Insane-Thc Torpedo Chicken.


Go Insane-Thc Torpedo Chicken.
Elder Toots rose TO question Of privilege
He had heard it flung out that he was living
with his fifth wife and that the two had in
duged in quarrels which disgraced the neigh
borhood He desired 20 submit proofs that
she was only his fourth wife and that they
lived in such perfect state Of happiness that
he never knew whether his shirt buttons were
Off or on.
1--WE doan' keer fur de proofs, Bruddr
Toots % observed the president; "you hasn't
bin oflshually charged wild any misconduct
bcfo' de club, an we kin took no axshun.
But desiah % squar' myself, sab
"You am squared, Brudder Toots, an kin
consider yeTself discharged on suspended SEN
tence Sot down an go 10 sleep
A FAVORABLE SHOWING.
The committee on climatic asylums and
the causes thereof sgnified their Willingness
20 report Oh the following query, presented
by the state board Of health Of Ohio. as the
Der cent. Of lunatics among the colored people
growing lurger or decreasing! Is The per
cent. Of coored lunatics greater than the per
cent Of tho whites"
Col Sylvester Rackabus, chairman Of the
committee. reported that bis committee had
made faithful and diligent inquiry and looked
mn all the authorities, and had the deep salts
faction Of being able 20 report that the per
cent # lunacy was decreasing very rapidly.
As 10 the other query, il had been found that
nineteen white persons went crazy % one col
ored man. The negro was not only very
level headed citizen. but bis mind was nailed
down 10 stay, and his philosophy was some
thing 10 boast Of
On motion Of Samuel Shin, who once
worked in an insane asylum for year at
running the steam heating, the report was
accepted and adopted, and Brother Gardner
complimented the committee on its vigorous
work
Giveadam Jones. travelling lecturer and
installator. desired 20 report on the applica-
ton Of the Ozark Shades Of Henderson, Ky,
for a branch charter He had been down
there and made the acquaintance of Setback
Johnson. Hardheel Smith, Turkey Davis,
Postum Williams, and other applicants. and
il was hi, opinion that no branch could De
organized TO do honor % the parent club.
Most Of the twenty-eight applicants chewed
the meancst kind Of plug tobacco, kept fight
ing dogs and played policy, and two of then
were Just out Of the county jail for larceny.
His report was accepted and adopted, and no
charter viii be granted.
WORKING WELL
The Committee ON Patents and Copyrights
10 whom was submitted the query. What is
the torpedo chicken, and how does it workN
begged leave 20 report as follows:
"De torpedo chicken ar dc iuveushun of
dc Hon Hannibal Hamlin of Maine ID was
invented 20 decimate De Guild race il ar' a
fac-simile Of q pullet made Of zinc, an filled
wild powder an slugs. When fastened 20 dee
roost it so closely resembles the real bird dat
de- wisest ole nigger in De bizue-s can't tellthe
difference. He strikes match, reache, out
10 pull De pullet of he pole, an dar am a
'splOshun which shakes See nayburhooi an
causes anoder well known citizen % turn up
mis,in'. As % decimatn' de Guild race. it
hasn't dun IT, De alarm was sounded at AN
airly date. an de great majority of our peo-
pie turned from chicken % Goldfish. Vow am
den some ole hen stealer, who can't let bust
ness die entirely out ann de victim of dc tor
pedo, but DC wise man passes de hen coop
afur off an saves his bacon
The report was accepted with profound
gratitude and admiration, and then the meet
ing went home. Detroit Free Press