The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-26

PERHAPS sc9ne Of the people who are looking
for nice, fat jobs could be accommodated if they
would apply at q lard-renlerng esta blishment-
Washington Critic.
AsroNIsHED Father-in -law-Want q pension :.
What in thunder do you mean?
Son n-law-Why, amt dependent on you for
support? Well, | want to be independent
that's all Puck.
SOME one has CIT down q tree in Nebraska on
which seven different horse thieves have been
hanged, and rs it was the only tree in the county
the inhabitants agitating the Arbor day
scheme for all they are worth. Burlington Free
Press
DO you think" she asked dreqmily, as he sat
beside her at the circus, that this is the same
elephant | saw when was a Child?''
No. he answered with scOrnful candor.
You know elephants only live to be 300 years
old" 1t won't be this year-Detroit Free
Press.
SAY, Mariar exclaimed Mr.. Blobson the
other day. Il move we suspend the long haul
clause"
What do you meang" demanded Mrs Blob
son.
II mean,'' said Mr.. Blobson. that instead of
pushing the baby carriage around four blocks
we try one block for awhile. Otherwise l shall
be obliged to raise the rates of transportation. -
burlington Free Press.
A TEACHER in one of our primary schools was
instructing class in the first rudiments of geog-
raphy, and speaking of the poles she said: 81
wonder if any of you can tell me the names of
Yes, ma'am, can" said a bright little fel-
low, the son of a well-known electrician.
We'll, Johnny, what are theyI"
POS tive an eg'tive!" came the authorita-
tive response-B0stOn Budget
"How lovely the new moon is tonight. Mr.
simpson she said, lit looks like a crevce i'll
the sky
YES he replied, TREMENDOUSLY land / first
saw it over my right shoulder Perhaps there
is some great good fortune in store for me. y
A little later he asked her to marry him, and
she compromised on the 6e-a-sister-toyou
basis and what little superstition Mr. Simpson
had in him was knocked out.-Pack.
Two WOMEN in a Boston horse car we're dis
cussing their household affairs audibly and to
the great amusement of other passengers
After comparing notes as to the productiveness
of their several farms, the price of groceries
the advantages of a country life over that OF
one i'll the city one of them delivers herself in
this wise: There sister Sally, now Her and
Inc amt no more alike n eff 'twant us. She's
jest ez different | be t'other way Hdrpey's
Magazine for hdy
Il WOULD like a pass to New York, if you
please. believe you are permitted to give
passes to the clerical professions"
Yes; the interstate bill gives lis that privi-
lege, believe. You are a member of the pro-
fession? Yes! What namey Writes out the
pass and hands it to the applicant with a gra-
cious bowD And where do you preach, Mr..
Blande?'
Preach? don't preach anywhere"
but you said you We're a clergyman.
Not |. | said was member of the cleri-
cal profession Clerk down in Julep's saloon.
Call round and see us Glad to reciprocate
Solong Boston Transcript
THE Captain of a Detroit tugboat turned a
corner on Twelfth street the other day to run
plump against the owner of the craft Both re-
bounded and looked at each other for a moment,
and then the owner exclaimed: III bet you
were going down there to see the fortune
teller!"
Well to be honest, was" replied the Cap
tain.
What did you want TO see her about?'
why, | wanted to ask her if there was any
prospect of your raising my wages
''Well. you needn't go.''
Why"
Because she went into a trance and advised
me TO cut you down $40 per month, and | was
just going to the office 10 give you the news -
Detroit Free Press