Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-07-27

n GREAT IMPRoyEMENT.-A Da-
kota young lady was visiting friend
in the east who had visited her in
Dakota last summer.
you don't know how L miss our
lovely Dakota moonlight" )" said the ter
ritorial maiden.
"Don't you think the moon is as
nice here as at your homer" asked her
friend.
"Oh, it isn't half so lovely. You
ought to see tits perfectly elegant,
and makes it almost as light as cay!'
II CID see IL last summer, and
it didn't seem TO me to be any brighter
than It is here.''
"Oh, well, last summer, of course. it
wasn't; but you ought to see it this
summer since the boom struck our
placel 1t is fifty per cent brighter"
THE PoET's sDREAM.-Poet, reading
a newspaper-"On the wall of the
house where Shakespeare lived = tablet
has been placed"
Friend d-"Oh, yes, it frequently hap
pens that a tablet marks the room
where great poet lived"
Poet. sighing-"I hope that some
body Will do as much for me when /
am dead and gene"
I've no doubt OF it."
do you really think so?''
Indeed L do.''
And what inscription do you sup
pose there will be on the Tabletop
Room to Rent
y LOVE MATCH.-Julia-':I hear
that you are engaged TO be married. q"
Maria-"Y es, it's fact, and my ClI-
ture husband is the handsomest a,
best of men,"
Then It's purely a love match.
suppose?"
"Oh, entirely SO, entirely"
Has he got money!"
"What an absurd question: OF
course he has got money-lots of II.
'DoS'T you think" ;" observed Richie
lieu, that it would he Il source of i'm
provement to have friend who would
tell US OF our faults, and at the same
time allow us to point out his own de-
fects.''
"No, L don't" said Aranlnta, de
cidedly; 81 speak from experience, too,
for my best friend and l once tried ii. -
why, what was wrong about it?''
We'll, you see, we haven't spoken
to each other for two years"
MRS. BCNDCLIPPER doctor, what
do you think is the matter with me?"
Doctor-'I am inclined to think
your blood is not pure. I'll have TO
give you something to purify your
blood.''
Mrs. Bondclipper (haughtily)-"You
are probably not aware that 1 belong
to one of the old Dutch families of
New York"
MERELY AN Little
Marie-"Aunty, you don't know how
mad papa got this morning. lie slam
med plate against the wall and broke
1t all to pieces.o
Little Carl, Mamma
told US not to speak about it, Marie. -
Marie-'Oh, yes, L forgot. Papa
didn't throw the plate against the wall.
1t just slipped out of his hand and fe.l
against the wall, and 1t broke into a
thousand pieces.''
n YOUNG lawyer in Texas town i'll
vIted some of his friends to IL game Of
cards in his room, to be followed by a
little supper. Frogs were a new species
OF food in that latitude, and a dish OF
them cooked in the choicest way WAS
lne iealure OF the occasion.
Supper-tlme approached, and during
temporary lull in the conversation
the door suddenly opened, and a Mil
es an waiter, in a loud voice, announced
supper thus:
Mr.. E., them tudS is done and sup.
per is readyl''
RURAL ITEM.-New Yorker
"What fresh air you have out here.
It's SO much fresher than in New
York"
Farmer-"Jess so! That's Just what
L was saying TO my old woman. WHY
amt all these big cities built out in
the country?"
a CHILLING REPLY.-Sara Johns
ing-"Miss SNOWFALL, Will yer partici-
pate in some noah ice cream?'
Miss Snowball-''No noah, Mister
Johnsing. likes ice cream once IN a
while, but not as beverage. Please
'scuse me-"