The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-06-29
Pith and Point.

DELAWARE lady has a cactus contain
ing one hundred seventy-fve flowers.
PULLMAN is having railroad-car built
which will have a barber-shop and a bath
room.
IT is only question of preference whether
you VIII leave your money when you die or
allow your money to leave you while YOU
| live.-BOston Transcript.
THE first of the month makes no differ
ence with the mosquito. He will Just as
soon send in his bill on the fifteenth as the
thirtieth. Philodelphio cal.
ONE of our lawyers being asked, few
days since, what a contingent fee was, said:
If bring suit for you and lose the case
/ get nothing; If ! win the suit you get
nothing. Republican.
ANY young woman who will learn how to
cook, sweep and wash dishes can secure
good home and good wages. Yet we hear
much Of female prisoners Of poverty
NeW York Commercial advertiser.
A sIx-YEAR-oLD boy on the West Side,
whose father is musician, was very rest
less the other night and couldn't go to sleep.
Finally, as last resort, he called out;
Papa, please play your cornet that always
makes me red!'-Chicdgo Journal.
A LITTLE girl who had not learned the
| table for wine measure was much puzzled
! by reading on the blackboard; of quart
of wine costs 81, how much will three hogs
heads cost?'' Finally she asked: Teacher,
how many hogs will there be if there's three
heads? '-Aibdny Argus.
THE biggest kick by an unsuccessful can
didate at a recent teachers examination in
Kalamazoo county was made by chap who
alleged that the cause of the change of
season is the earth works up toward the
north pole in the summer, and the earth
works down toward the south pole in the
winter. '-Chicogo News
IT is told about Dakota man that he has
invented machine to pump smoke down a
gopher-hole, where it is expected it will kill
! the gopher. The only drawb back seems to
be that while you are inserting smoke in the
hole the gopher went into he will come out
of another and sit up and whistle at you and
tell you that he has smoked ever since he
was ten years old.
THE Lewiston journal says that economi-
cal Fourth of July celebrations are the
| fashion in many parts of Maine. One of its
correspondents from a small town says:
" This town is to have a Fourth of July
celebration. Two dollars and fifty cents
was subscribed in very short time on
Tuesday. As this sum is larger than the
amount raised last year, and more is ex-
pected to be subscribed, we may expect
big time.
GERMANS are hailing as boon to man
kind the invention by Messrs. Lorenz of
Carlsruhe of a steel-clad bullet with a
slight alloy of anthony, which, in addition
w lhtitdocu IIDWtlS vi gives d
much Halter trajectory and is warranted to
pass through mans body without causing
unnecessary discomfort. This is killing two
birds with one stone. 1t will kill two, or
even three, men at one shot if they happen
to stand in the way.
APRoPos to the commonly received opin-
ion that " scolding sermons " seldom result
in any moral reform, dominic somewhat
noted for the occasional acid flavor of his
remarks gloomily arose in his pulpit on
recent Sunday and prefaced the announce
ment of his text by the remark, " I shall
preach sharp sermon to-day, as / am not
feeling at all we'll" The audience at once
began to be FESTIVE, as they knew by expe-
Renee what was coming.
CATS in London. AT least half million
strong. Think of the number of bootjacks
it would require to exterminate these noe
turnal disturbers of slumber, each possess
ing as it does, nine lives. The forests do
not exist in the world from which to cut the
timber to make the bootiacks to perform the
task. How is this army of toms and tab
bies of high and low degree fed? That is a
practical question. There are in London at
least 5000 men and women who earn very
comfortable livings as caterers to cats. This
trade, while it extends somewhat into the
West End, does not flourish in the wealthy
neighborhoods, where the cats are often fed
with dainty scraps from the table.-London
7 Ion