The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-11-12
PITH AND POINT.

Rcv. Dr. Torsey states that he cal
marry couple in eight seconds, and y
Is awful to think so much damage car
be done In such brief time-Bostot
Herald.
When you are 10 horse car ano
anxious to reach home 1t goes ver'
slow. When you have to chase 1t hall
dozen blocks to catch II how fast II
goes!-Boston Courier,
The man who wanted to know whore
they catch mock turtle is the same
chap who asked IL il was difficult
thing to shoot Welsh rabbits. ~
Charlestown Enterprise
When an absconding Chinese banker
Is captured his head is always carefully
removed to make sure that he has none
Of the missing gold hidden away in hi
hollow teeth. Fall Riuer Adoance.
John" said Miss Oldgirl, scribblina
artlessly, "see. II you were to strike on
one letter from your affairs they would
become our affairs" But Johr
wouldn't let'er.-BoSton Common
wealth.
Circumstances change, temptations
diminish, positions improve, misfor'
tune becomes endurable by habit, but
persons who are disagreeable to us al
ways irritate us more and more.--fht
eago Ledger.
docs your wife play the pianoP" 81
am sorry to say she doesn't" "Doe'
she play any musical instumentP'
None whatever" Hey! That's :
rare accomplishment "-Mew YorI
Commercial.
Edward Eggleston declares that the
two worst habits he ever fell into were
carly rising and overwork. If these be
bad habits. then all the good places
In paradise will be manned by tramps.
Utica Observer.
Now they say John Ruskin Is crazy.
just because he doesn't care about mon
ey and does care about art. This mon
sy-loving world can't believe that any
Sane man could be Indifferent te
wealth. boston Globe.
Rev. DR.. Fulton wants to know wha I
would have become of Martin Luther
II he had become newspaper editor.
He would have been success, for he
was an expert at firing the inkstand al
tho devil-Martha' Vineyard Herald.
He was lecturing against polygamy
and eulogizing woman. what ia
there in the wide world" said he, $50
pure and noble and lovable as womanp"
And just then voice in the audience
replied. Two women. Duluth Para
grapher.
1t is alleged that in ancient Rome u
. man kissed his betrothed, but died
before their marriage, the woman was
entitled to half his effects. Young men
of the present day congratulate them
selves that the old Roman law no long.
or holds good. Boston Post.
When man comes out in q Grove
and says he will not run for office, he
reminds one very much of that Other
man who pinned temperance pledg'
on his coat, so that some one would ash
him to drink, under the mistaken i'm.
preston that he wond refuse. Terai
Sytings.
A Chippewa Falls church has been
turned into soap factory. However,
1t il not so bad as 1t might be, and the
good people of Chippewa Falls will not
feel so cut up when they remember
that Cleanliness is next to Godliness, "
and a soap factory lays way over q
saloon.-PecEs Sun.
Now that Thanksgiving day ap
proaches, the rural districts are fairly
alive with tramps, so that the do
nestle poultry do not enjoy their an
cient facilities for growing old. To the
average farmer. it seems inscrutablt
that q wise Providence failed to teach
young turkeys to roost under the barn
American artisan.
1t is said of Themistocles that hs
could call by their names all the PEG.
pie of Athens, which city then mum.
bered twenty thousand inhabitants.
Themis was pretty smart. but we have
our opinion of a man who memories
the names of city's entire population
in order to have an excuse for not buy
ing copy of the city directory when
the agent comes around.
Herald.