The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-19
BRIGHT BITS.

GIEEN-Since he had that SANDER suit Pryor
has gone out of business.
Brown-Why, what was his business?
Green-Other peoples Bits
WIFE-Now that you have bought COW, who
will milk it?
Husband-Oh, he says the calf does that So
we, have all the milk we want without trouble.
Life.
WIFE-Do you know what effect the speeches
OF George and McGlynn have had upon the
country?
Husband-Yes; they have madeits head ache
PUCK.
WHATEVER the newspaper of the future may
be, it will never be what woman wants it to be
until it is wholly made up of love verses, deaths
and marriages, and dry goods advertisements
Boston journal Of Education.
''Do you know where | can get one of those
Opaque sunshades>" asked Cora. Why" ex-
claimed Mamie, in surprise, ARE you so afraid
OF sunstroke?" No" returned Cora conf
dentialy, but Mr. Merritt and are going to sit
on the sand. THE Jltdge.
PROF. SNoRE was teaching the class at the
| University of Texas Now, boys" said the
Professor, there we have q triangle, all three
sides of which are equal. What is the deduc-
| tion?' Tom Anjerry-That the fourth side
must also be OF the same dimensions. -TeCGS
| SLftingS.
A.-What are You reading?
Bit is a very useful book for those who
don't know how to swim.
n
B.-If you fall overheard all you have to do is
to turn to page 81 and read the directions and
you are safe.-TeroS Sittjngs
SOMEBODY out in Colorado says: Fruit
makes Il gOOd-naturcd father, a happy mother
and jolly lot of children There are excep-
tons TO all rules and we presume that our Colo
| RADIO friend would be ready TO make an e&cep-
ton where the fruit is green apples culled from
a neighbours orchard.-BOstOn Transcript.
MINISTER Ito little boy)-What have You got
there, little boy? Your Sunday school papery
Little Boy-No, thir; count of the base ball
game yesterday.
Ninister-Dont you know that that's no pa
per for you to read on Sunday?
Little BOy-Geth, thir.
Minister-Well, give me the paper.-Er-
| change.
BEAUTIFULLY said the drummer, Sixty
| birds in two hours, and only missed two Shots =
quiet gentleman sitting in a corner of the
| hotel office put down his paper rushed across
the room and grasped him warmly by the hand
ALLOW me to congratulate you, sir, hNsad
| Il am professional myself
professional sportsman
mo; professional liar 81 EXCHANGE
! KERRIGAN lin the attic)-Pfwhat happened me
razor, Julie? It's shkinnn me- it is
Mrs. kerTgan (belOw(-Shure, darlint, Rosie
| was afther trimming the goats hoofs a leetle
| Sorra tn bit she could climb ter Mrs Caseys
| tomato vines next dure, widout it!
kerrigan-AH rOight, acllShla! It's pullin'
| tacks wild it OF fought yez was; but tn nanny
| goat mllk mustn't be KEEP Shwate, av me chakeS
| kims off!-Puck.
How is it that you charge me SOC for this
| little pinch of bcarhonate of soda, when YOU
| gave me three times as much for 1Oc. yeSter-
! day.
| Druggist-We are filling a prescription to-day
| Suppose we are going to translate Latin for
nothing? My dear sir, you don't seem to appre-
| ciate what it costs to obtain a classical educa-
! ton Hold on! I've given you oxaic acid
That boys always shifting the bottles around.
| Boston Transcript.
SHE knew it all and was RECALLING them with
| her predigree 40 hbitltBl, when Mr. 1higpenn one
| of the most inoffensive men in the world broke
| in ''Er-ah-are you from Massachusetts, Mrs
D.y'
Mrs. ID. Gmpressively)-Fro Bustern.
| Thgpenn-S uburbsy
| Mrs. ID. Cfreezingly)-Sir-r-r!
| Thigpenn-Oh, or, n-no onense, assure YOU.
| Al the hest neoor in Boston live in the suburbs
| Washington Critic