Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-14
BAI'T.

The law will be off of trout this year be- fore the ice is.-Lowel Courier. Wealth won't always buy health, but it will buy forty per cent. brandy in times of abdominal disorders.-Puek.
 Talking about the weather, they have had an unusually long reign over in England, haven't they2-Lowen Citizen.
 A Connecticut man dropped dead in a store where he had called to pay bill. This confirms our conviction that paying bills is unhealthy y.-Alta Californian. It has been discovered that quarter dol lar can be changed in 215 ways, but up to date only five ways of procuring the quarter have been found-beg, borrow, steal, earn or orfind.--Philadelphia Call. There's big difference between a travel ing salesman and drummer. The drummer sells carloads of goods and gets his salary raised while the travelling salesman doesn't earn his salt and gets discharged.-Somer- vile Journal
 Deacon Bucrag (to Sunday school class)- Yes, dear children, everything in this world has it's use There is nothing, however small or trif1ing, that was not intended for some good purpose. Small Scholar (thirsting for | imformation)-Wh good does a pigs tail do the pigs
 My dear," said Punster to his wife at the breakfast table one morning, "can you tell l me why George Washington is like Napo- l leon?" q am sure don't know" said she. Because he is dead,'' remarks Punster. Then followed fully five minutes silence.- Chicago Ledger.
 Talk about the relative culture of New York and Boston! Why, in New York when they wish to intimate that mans intel lectual calibre is not what it ought to be, they say, "He doesn't understand theoso. phy.' In Boston they simply say, 'He l Press
 nursie. Mamma-Why, pet, your nurse looks we'll and happy. Nell-But the an gels won't never know how good she is, and may be they'll make a mistake an let her go to the bad place. Mamma-Mercy me! What put that into your little heads Nell Why, she says all her prayers in French | Omaha World.
 What it looked like.-Photographer- ''Now, what kind of 8 background would l you like. Here is very pretty country | lane that" Patron-"Country lane! Why, that looks like the thoroughfare of a great cityi I can stand in front of that, sir, and almost think am going down to business , l Photographer-"You can-oh, ah, yes of course! 1 forgot that you were from Brook l lyn."-Puck.
 | Big Money In It.-"What can we do fol you, sir?" ''I want to apply for the janitor
 ship of your building in case Cleary is con 1 victed on his second trial. I see by the pa | pers that the position is worth $17, ,0O0 { year, and think it would pay me bette
 than my present occupation as professor O
 archaeology in Hyale college. Please hand
 these letters of recommendation to the presi l dent "-Puck.
 Brevity produces some very remarkabl
 specimens of what the philosophers cal
 nominalism. One of our correspondents hat
 occasion to go into store in this city to in
 quire for Dr. Abercrombie's works, 9Th
 intellectual Faculties and ''The Philosoph,
 of the Moral Feelings" When he asked fo
 them the bookseller, after looking about
 solemnly replied, 'tI know 1 haven't an
 Moral Feelings, and I doubt whether I hay
 any Intellectual Faculties l"-Christian Ad | vocate.
 rapid and beautiful yacht
 Was MT. Colts DauntlesS I wacht | She could sail OCT the seas
 With remarkable ease.
 | But the Coronet raked in the pacht l Washington Ratchet.