The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-21
BRIGHT BITS.

IT must be a very good brass band that can
play all the airs drum major puts on Wheel
tItg hlteliigencer.
The older a man gets the more difficult it is
to pull the wool over his eyes. He has good
deal less wool, you know YOTlkers Statesman.
You've Mr.. SISSY am afraid that I am
making a rather long call, Miss Smith. Are you
tired?
Miss Smith (politely)-Oh, no, Mr. Sissy; not
physically tired.-Tid Bits.
You've MAN Ito druggist Wha -wha-what are
you-your ra-ra-rate for t.t-talking through you
your t-telepbonef
Druggists Fifteen cents for five minutes, but
I'll give you fifteen minutes. I'm fair man.
Nel0 York sun.
A TEXAN cut and carried away six tons of a
neighbours grass one night recently and was
lynched for it. The theft was genuine case of
blade clashed to blade and steel to steal" p
S.-There is nothing very sharp about this ex-
cept the scythe, but it goes.-B(nghantt Re
publican.
4 BosToN MOTHER was putting her little one
to bed and said: Il think Flossie, you are old
enough to learn an evening prayer. I'm going
to say it for you and you will repeat it after
me-" ''Yeth'm, - lisped the little one. Well
we'll begin. Are you ready?' ''Yeth'm. Ler 'er
go, Standardization Courier
PEDDLER-I have here some very fine towels
madam. Only 10 cents per
Irate female-Get out O. herel l have no use
for towels.
Peddler with much presence of mind, open
ing another bundle)-Here you are, madam
Portraits of Johann Most and other celebrated
reformers. Only 25c. apiece.-ChicGJo Tribune.
"IF should tell you. dear, - he said, ''that my
love for you had grown cold; that had ceased
to care for you, and that the happy time when l
shall claim you as my ownest own will never,
never be, would it really be trial to you dar-
Ing n.y.. ooonoo =, a.,,.. .s.,,..os 49, =.
would be breach of promise trial. '-NeW York
SitfL
MISS SMITE Whose brother has just arrived
exhibition of yourself!
Duke Continuing the exhibition)-I don't care
rap. You can dress me up in dude clothes,
make me cut my hair and insist on my saving
ether for either" but when the band strikes
up "Old Kegn I'm going to dance Alamo style
or bust Pack.
GEORGE. there is a sadness and melancholy
in your eyes tonight, and your cheeks seem
blanched. p"
Eyes, Naomi. am far from being happy"
"Confde in me, dearest Let me share your
sorrow. Have the buffetings of this cruel world
cast gloom over your soul?'
= well. not exactly, but you see these shoes are
new and they pinch like thunder. Nebraska
State Journal
BOBBY had been a bad little boy all day and
his mother was very much displeased with him.
why, Bobby" she said what in the world
will become of you when you grow to be man
if you will be SO naughty"
Bobby looked completely discouraged for a
moment over his gloomy prospects and then
frightened.
well ma he said, why wouldn't make a
good weather prophet?'-Neao York Sun.
RoBDsoN-How did Dasher get along with his
California land speculation?
Jones-Oh, first rate. He bought ranch
near Los Angeles for $4,000 and sold it next
day for $4,000
Robnson-Well, 1 don't call that doing first
rate
Jones-Oh, you don't know Dasher. He's a
Napoleon. be is. He bought thirty days
credit and sold it for cash and got out of the
country before they got onto his Methods
Detroit Free Press.