The Penn's Grove record., 1887-04-02
ORDERS.
Ridiculous Mistakes ia Names Made
by Applicants for Medicines.

by Applicants for Medicines.
A Cambridgeport druggist has made
a practice for some years of saving in a
scrap-book some of the most peculiar
orders which he receives. "We are
asked for some rather strange things"
but we a genera ly guess what is
wanted. Many people expect a druggist
to prescribe for their ailments, as it
saves physicians charges, and the dag
noses of complaints which come to us
are often amusing. Look at these:
send me some of the essence you put
people to sleep with when you III their
fingers Off That evidently means
ether. Il want something to take to-
bacco out of my mouth OF course,
the scent of tobacco was the thing OBJ
jected 10. Send me a baby's top to a
nursing bottle mean without doubt, a
nursing bottle top. AN ounce of SMELL
ing stuff that goes THROUGH your BRAIN
describes very well the effect of inhaling
ammonia. Something for a baby's sore
eye is not easy to mistake, though
stated rather oddly. Here is n startling
order for enough epecac to throw up u
girl four years old. l can not help SYM
~pathizing with this person. who asks for
enough anise seed to t IKE the twist out
of a dose of senna.' Here is a graphic
description of a certain ailment in a
request for a plaster for a man kilt
with stitches" Perhaps the II who
wrote this order for something for a
caustic women built better than he
knew. Here is an order for something
for a heavy pain in the bones that is
coming out through the eyes, The
person who wrote for something to take
a mans breath away did OF intend
murder or suicide, but merely wished
for cardemom seed Or something of that
nature. 1 sent a linament TO this lady,
who asked for something to rub my old
man WITH Not a bad description of a
poultice is the order for enough flax
seed to make a pudding for u sore toe
This child who had an impression on
his heart and a cough that is choking
him in the neck, ought to have been
taken to a doctor, as well as this other
one who, his mother wrote, was 'heav-
ing up and down and every way Here
is a request for something to knock a
cold out of an old woman The next
one seems to be in hard condition. She
desires something for a woman who
has a bad cough and can not cough
No druggist would hesitate for a minute
to fill the order: Something, l forgot
the name, but its for a cure Our W
preparation will Just fill the bill in such
a case. But what should we send for
"a sweiled woman's foot "a man witha
dry spit on him. and a woman whose
appetite is loose on her?'
1--WE get used to phonetic spelling ="
pursued the druggist, ''and very seldom
unable to arrive at a fair conclusion OF
what is wanted, even by the blindest
writers. Here are orders for penny
garriek. parry garlic and paddy garrick,
which procured paregoric in each case.
These orders for barnaget, vergmunt
and bugmint were filled with bergamot;
these requests for come earback, gum
mare back, garmariback, comearaback
and ram BAN back called for gum ara
bic; those asking for camtier and camp
fire meant camphor; worm me fuge and
meant vermifuge, of course;
where our customers have called for
epicot, metik, epicack, apricot and cpl
cat we have delivered ~epicacuanha; the
persons who wrote for honey quintom,
blew oint. Annie Quintom and Ann
Grintom got unguentem, otherwise
called blue ointment, orders for lodnom,
lad mum and lard warm we filled with
laudanum; for balm of city we sent
spermaceti; those who wanted high STIR
rups got hive sirup; this fellow who
wrote for paint killer received pain
l knew that babben whiskey
Bourbon whiskey; that air root
meant arrow-root, and that bitter Alice
meant bitter aloes. | sent Arabian
balsam instead of raving balsam to this
man, corrosive sublimate instead of a
gross of supplements to that n and
cherry pectoral instead of cherry pick
erel to this other. l substituted syrup
of squills in these orders for sharp squil
and strip OF swill, sent EPSON salts TO
the one who wrote for lapsom salt, and
some cubebs instead of cupids to the
otherl Not having any glory farm on
hand, l took the liberty of filling this
order with chloroform; and being out
of flax coed and flax sed, / sent 1ax-seed
in that n
"When l got those orders for OK s.ed
acid and horrid lime l sent oxallc acid
and chloride of lime. This man asks
for McCordon seed, this one for carman
seed, and this one for colored man
seeds, but l gave cardamom seeds to
Many orders come in where n
is taken for q conjunction, as
and quill, for syrup of squills,
check and berry for checkerberry; gold
and thread, for goldenthread; spit and
turkletine, for spirits of ~turpentinei
balm and Gilead, for balm of Gileadi
hope and dildock, for opodeldock. Peo-
pie who wish borax write for boeracks,
bowrax and bow wax. We
get orders for blossom instead of bal
SAM; hair manure, instead of remover,
and 'cocarine,' instead of cocoaine.
Customers who want lovage write for
love itch. Those who desire licorlce
write for luckrich, logrish, lickrish, and
stickrish. Here is a woman Who wants
FIVE cents worth of cologne to smell a
Another asks for a mixture
which shall be two-thirds alchohol and
two-thirds castor. oil. This one wants
something to make cainip tea from, and
the other asks for ten cents worth OF
Mary attic acid.p
"WHAT made Susie go on on her ear
yesterday, Mildredp" asked Amy.
A - H. alNa rfEf