Bismarck weekly tribune., 1887-05-20

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And still for fun and love they run,
For loves ireless cruiser;
In budding days and autumn haze
The vitlinn stiH patrsIes her. f.,
HENRY OF BATTENBERG is never allowed
to sit in the presence of his royal mother
in-law. Poor fellow, why don't he sit on
her lap?
THE home for aged women at Cedar
Rapids, Iowa, is said to be ready to take
care of inmates. The Boston Advertiser
may be cared for yet.
A CASE of leprosy has been discovered
in Minneapolis, and it is understood that
st. Paul is painting man in spots, and
will turn him loose on the streets in few
days.
AN Uncle Toms Cabin company was
stranded and :disDanded at Sioux Falls last
Monday. Righteous indignation and just
retributiOn do get their work in, once in a
long, long while.
IT has been decided to organize city at
Minot under the act of the last legislature.
That's right. They had better organize
him into city before he moves on to the
next point.
DIVORCED women are barred from Queen
Vlctorias receptions. AS this rule is held
to religiously by the queen, the only way
for downtrOdden woman to maintain her
standing in royal society is to tolerate her
husband or kill him.
TO date 6,500,426 trade dollars have been
redeemed. This is a little surprising, as
we have not sent in one of ours yet, and
were living in hopes that we would not
be embarrassed by lack of room in the gov
ernment vaults.
"THE crown prince of Italy has recovered
from the measles" is an item going the
rounds. He will soon begin to cut his
teeth and walk alone, but inasmuch as he
is prince it will be long time before he
will be able to get along without the bottle.
''THEY are about to start red-hot
Blaine organ in Washington" says an ex-
change. This means business. Now if John
Sherman will start up good warm piano
and Grover Clevelan1s calliopes keep on
footing, there will be music in the air be-
fore the campaign of '88 is closed.
The Omaha city council has passed an
ordinance prohibiting swearing on the
streets, and the boom in that city is liable
to die at any moment. Since the passage
of the ordinance the town has been speech
less and every citizen is following bis en-
emy with bent pin and wash bill.
THE newspapers state that Jesse James,
son of the late outlaw, has gone to work in
a Kansas City real estate Office and that he
has his fathers features. AS the main
features of the "illustrous" father consisted
Of Colts revolver and cartridge belt,
the young man must present an interesting
appearance in Kansas City society.
AN exchange in commenting on May
says it is about the time for the young
calves and lambs to appear. For the in
formation of the editor we will state that
the calf has appeared. It came into the
office last evening with society item in
its mouth and asked us to announce that
the German had been postponed.
IT IS said that the attorney generals
new designs in the coinage of the realm.
Since this news has been circulated the
national counterfeiters' association has
passed resolutions Of thanks to the attor-
ney general, on the ground that it will
save the heavy expense Of new plates.
THE Chicago Herald prints as an item of
news the fact that a town in Oregon is
named Gladstone. Let us chip in right
here and say that Dakota has not only
town named Gladstone, but a man named
Gladstone was recently fined SIS and costs
for disturbing the peace. Oregon is not
the only state that has cast odium upon the
great name of Gladstone
AMONG the Indians employed on the
steamer Rose Bud since the white rousta-
bouts struck and left the boat, was one
named "Bull Head" and after he tipped a
sack of wheat into the river, fell from the
gang plank, and cut the main guy with a
scalping knife, the captain has prefxed
"Damn" to his name.
IT is stated that when Senator Vest re-
Gently called at the white house President
Cleveland laughed at his s'faux pas.''
President Cleveland will keep on until he
will receive a princely offer from Barnum
to travel as lion tanner. A man who can
stand up fearlessly and boldly and laugh a
"faux pas" square in the face when he
knows it is liable to gnash its teeth and
pOunce upon him at any moment would
SOuolAOA l1Ou HCIC play.
AN exchange says that gentleman has
offered $3.50 for the revolver with which
the jockey Archer killed himself. If the
gentleman will excuse us we will inform
him that if he will come out this way we
will sell him a revolver for SO that will do
just as good work. If any ''gentleman'
wants to kill himself he need not 90
around paying $3.50 for revolvers. If he
will come out to Montana and call man a
liar it won't cost him cent.
AN exchange announces that "Queen
Victoria held drawing room at Bucking-
ham Palace on Tuesday," She is stronger
than we had supposed. There are women
in this country who have held a large,
well-developed horse, but when it comes
to keeping drawing room from breaking
the halter and kicking over the dashboard,
the American woman yields the palm.
"Jay Gould's purchares of Arkansas
lands cover fully 10000 acres, located in
three different countless" is the startling
announcement made in the Chicago Trib-
une. And still they say that Jay Gould is
a rich man. Why, ordinary farmers in the