Omaha daily bee., 1887-11-06
AN INTERESTING QUESTION,
Mon or Women (Which Are the
Truest or Most Unselflsh Friends
DISCUSSED BY ELLA WHEELER.
Opinions OF Some Wives aud Maidens
Men More Ready, But Women
More Lasting in Their
Friendships.
BY ELLA WHEELER.
Written for the Bec-COpyrighted]

Written for the Bec-COpWghted]
In room full of ladies l heard this
question discussed in all its bearings not
long ago, and a great many interesting
anecdotes and experiences ere related.
The majority of unmarried women ex-
pressed quite unanimously an opinion in
favor OF the men. The married ladies
were less outspoken, but the greater
number OF them were not enthusiastic
in their faith in mans friendship for
woman. Their skepticism might be at
tributed to various causes. Perhaps
they knew the genus homo better than
their single sisters did. Perhaps they
did not think it wise to encourage the
damsels in their dangerous even if true
theory.
Many an unmarried girl is blind to the
virtues of women because she has not
time to study them. Her horizon is
bounded by masculine forms. and she is
quite content to have it so. BY and by,
when she concentrates her attention and
interest on one man, and the others dis
appear like setting stars at the rise of
the sun, why then she notices the beauty
md fragrance of those human flowers
women.
heard one young lady, who had
fought single-handed battle with the
world and achieved success, declare
that the question was not even open to
discussion in her mind.
81 think no one is better judge of
the matter,n she said, than a woman
who has made her own way in life. l
received appreciation and encourage
ment from men. when women gave me
only indifference or neglect. Men pre-
dicted my success, while women feared
would fail. Men praised what they
termed my courage, while women criti-
cised what they termed my boldness."
Another lady declared that she would
invariably go to man were she in need
of friendship or protection in time Of
trouble.
''If | were placed in compromising
situation, for instance" she said, land
wished to cOnfde in some one, and had
only my own words to prove my inno-
cence, do you think l would trust my
self to the mercy of n woman? No,
indeed. And if had done wrong and
needed confessor and counsellor,
surely would go to a man. Women are
too cruel to their own SEX"
AT this juncture | remarked that q
man would always protect II woman
against every man but himself. He
would defend her from the censOrious
comments of the world quicker than
another woman would-and then spoil il
all by compromising her name himself.
HereupOn n happy-looking married
lady expressed her opinion.
"You have all given your theories,
quoth she. Nov listen to my exper
fence. No girl ever possessed more
gentleman friends than /. My career
calf Nd
also. l, too, found men far reader
with praise and encouragement thar
women were. Men proffered advice ant
aid, while women gave it if asked. Ye'
as time advanced | found men far more
selfish in their friendship than womer
were. The interest OF my most platonit
male friends noticeably lessened afte,
my marriage, and in several casc
turned into enmity, while women re
garded me with increased favor.
"Men whose respect and admiration
unmiXed with any tender sentiment,
would have sworn l had won did no
hesitate to shrug their shoulders ant
speer when l made an ex
cellent marriage, and no longe
needed their occasional advice. | reall
think mans friendship for an unmar
ried woman is always, even il uncon
sciously to himself, selfish. While sh
belongs 10 NO one ne lmaglneS she be
longs in some degree to himself and re
joices in her prosperity When she be
longs TO another man all this cease.
Women are less enthusiastic in the be
ginning, but their friendship wear
better"
~ don't know how it is in the matte
OF friendship a young lady interposet
''but know when go into large e.
tablishment shopping | always receiv
better attention and more courtesy fro,
the salesmen than from the sales-girl
II ] desire to be directed to another d,
partment in the store, / always prefe
to ask a man, as he is more willing an
affable in his manner"
young girl who had once publishe
little book and sold it on the street
passers-by said; "Men are far kinde
hearted than women. Women locke
AT me rs IL | were doing some dreadf,
and improper act; men looked at II
with sympathy and interest. In al
time OF distress women look AT you rs
you were lying 10 them; men wait unit
they catch you in a lie, and then te
you of it. They forget and forgive
wrong, too, far sooner than women do
Hereupon remarked that once upc
in time asked favor OF n gentlem;
the presence OF two ladies. The gent
man expressed the deepest sympatl
and the most genuine regret that
could not nssist me. Both ladies volu