Morning journal and courier., 1887-01-12

| Did Noah get his honey from the archives!
Harvard Lampoon. So
It is to be expected that the old creeds
will be subverted when so many persons are
| turning over Andover.-Boston Transcript.
The law cannot make man moral, but it
| can make him dreadfully uncomfortable
when he is ipmeral.-Columbus (Ga.) En-
quirer-Sun.
The English faster had to give up his at
tempt s'because of pecuniary difficulties" !"
That is odd. That is just what drives other
people to fasting.-Boston Post.
She gazing at ''Christ Before Pilate'D-
What are all the people in the room sneezing
so for? He-They are not sneezing. They
| are only pronouncing the artists name
Puck.
fashion item SAYS that ssnew pocket
books are long and slender They generally
are slender Immediately after the holidays.
We prefer the long and plethoric style
Norristewn Herald.
81 am afraid it's not genuine" said lady
to a shopman. ooh, yes, it is, madame, +"
replied the polite gentleman. "All our
camel's hair shawls made of pure silk,
direct from the worm. ."-Exchange.
tWhat place is that" asked stranger
who was crossing the North river. "Well," :"
replied the deck hand, "that used to be
called Hoboken; since the pool sellers have
settled there most of the boys call it Gobrok-
en-. n."-Judge.
1 have failed to note among the list of
patents issued the improved method in use
in the Office of one of the telegraph COM
panies for further delaying the transmission
of messages. The messengers now appear
on skates.-Syracuse Standard.
Citizen (seeking free information)-If You
had of dyspepsia, doctor, what would
you doa
Physician-1 would treat the patient with
my best professional skill and charge him
fair price for it.-New York Sun.
De Garmo-And how do you stand on evo-
| luton, Miss Brewstera Don't you believe
man is descended from the monkey Miss
| Brewster-Oh, yes, I think man is; but what
puzzles me-, Mr.. De Garmo, is where women
| came from.-The Columbia Spectator.
| A small boy on his first appearance in a
| parish school at Rochester was asked if he
knew the Lords prayer. He replied that he
| had never heard it, whereupon an urchin at
| his side, with friendly desire to excuse his
| ignorance. said to the teacher: "Please,
| ma'am, he's stranger from Pennsylvania"
81 tell you honest men are not all dead
yet" he said, as he returned to his sleigh at
| the Central Market. "Here's a robe which
could have been sold to me for bear skin,
but the dealer frankly informed me that it
was nothing but goat" How much did
| you paya'' "Only Sill" "H'm. Same man
sold me one for bear skin and didn't ask
| but sS"-Detroit Free Press.
Cleveland's Condition.-The Longcoffin
girls have been trying very hard to capture
Colonel Kimberly, rich but cynical old
| bachelor, but he made a remark few even
| ings ago that discouraged them very much.
President Cleveland is very we'll Off" said
Birdie. Kimberly shook his head and said
| with a sigh; 'tHe was well off, but is not so
now" ''Has he lost his money!" asked Es-
meralda Longcoffin. ''No, he has not lost
any money" 'sYou mean he is not well off
because he has the rheumatism" E'That's
not it. I mean he is not well off because he
is married. After Kimberly left Mrs. Long
coffin said: t'I don't think it is worth while
asking tnat old fool to tea any more."-
Texas Siftings.