Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1887-02-10
THINK THEY ARE SICK.
IMAGINARY ILLS TO WHICH HUMAN
FLESH is HEIR.

IMAGINARY ILLS TO WHICH HUMAN
FLESH is HEIR.
People who Insist Upon Being Dosed'
and How They are Accommodated.
Bread Pills and Simple SiruP for
Fancied Ailments.
HDo you see that ladys'
A prominent Detroit physician indicated
. lady who had just left his Office
ssWell. she imagines she has consumption,
and this is her third visit to me- You
needn't look surprised. II l were TO tell
her the truth-that she hasn't the renotest
SYMPTOMS Of the disease-she would think
me fool, and go to another doctor. And
IL he tod her the truth she would keep on
going until she found q physician who
agreed with her The only way to deal
with persons who think they have consump-
e9on is to h,t.Ior their whim, charge as lit
tie as possible without exciting their suspi-
cion. and bring them around perfectly cured
as soon as they can be made to believe IT.
You have no idea of the number Of intelli-
gent ladies who imagine they have consump-
tion or cancer Some relative or acquaint-
snce of theirs has died with one of these
complaints. and the first time they cough
they are convinced it is the beginning Of
consumption, and the least little pimple or
burning sensation drives them almost fran
tic with the thought that a cancer is form
ina. The only possible way to deal with
this class of cases is to thoroughly gain the
confidence of the patient They watch
the physician ike a cat, and any hesitation
on his part leads them to either imagine the
worst or else set him down as incompetent
ssI usually ask few direct questions, such
as when the trouble was first noticed, the
exact location and intensity of the pain, and
then fall into their view Of the matter.
assure them that they have done wise
thing in coming to me at once, as, now that
the trouble can be taken In time, there
will be no difficulty in effecting a speedy
cure. A few bread pills and bottle Of
scented sirup are prepared with the greatest
care and particular directions given as to
how they are to be taken. At the next
visit noticed perceptible change for the
better, and am delighted, as I hardly ex-
pected any improvement so soon. The third
visit shows a complete eradication OF the
acute nature of the trouble, but to provide
against any return new remedies are ap-
piled At the fourth visit the patient is as
well as anybody, treatment is discontinued,
and l have gained few dollars and a life
long friend and patron" F"
"And there is no quackery about itY'
''Not a Bit But if 1 were to tell the
truth in the first place the patient would
probably fall into the hands Of some unscru-
pulous medic who would scare the life out
of her and charge dollars where only take
cents.
'To what extent does this sort of practice
existp'
"Well, if only those who really require
physician were prescribed for one-quarter
of the doctors in Detroit would become
Micawbers. On the other hand, there are
a class of people not alone confined 10 the
poor who neglect calling doctor until it is
too late. He gets the case just In time to
make out the death. certificate. There are
hundreds of cases terminating fatally which
might hare been saved if taken in time.
This is very uneven world, my friend,
take it how you will-fnancially, pohti-
cally, socially or incidentally. We boast Of
our enlightenment, but you have no idea
Of the superstition existing all around US.
Why, the faith cure has so many follow
ers that it has almost grown respectable.
See the number of clairvoyant 'healers'
who maintain themselves in luxury by see
ing the disease and remedy in trance.
How many, think you, carry horse chest
nuts in their pockets every day of their
lives to keep off rheumatism, and would
not dare go without one2 Not few, as
sure YOU Look at the vast sales of patent
medicines Now let me tell you something
about these patent medicines. They are
prepared for general consumption, and for
that very reason must of necessity be with
out virtue You never hear of any one
being injured by them-that would not do,
as it would at once stop the sale OF the
article. So they are prepared for the most
delicate child and the strongest man-nere
wash A remedy which viii do no one harm
viii do no one any good. There are hun
dred other superstitions, but don't know
as l ought to be surprised at them. Medi-
cine itself has only recently emerged from
an almost barbaric state Less than twenty
five years ago we were salivating with calo-
mel, cupping, and blistering, and bleeding
for almost everything. The counter irTit-
ant is still practiced to some extent"
sWhat is thats''
s'Why, If little boy was beating drum,
and you wished to hush his noise, the way
TO do it would be to commence firing can
non. E,you have pain in your stomach
put on blister and it will hurt you so much
worse that you'll never notice the pain.
Medicated plasters are all right when ap-
piled to extract pain or any deep seated
morbidity, as has often been proven, but as
counter irritant regard them as a relic
Of barbarism. But, then, medicine has
made a wonderful progress in the last
twenty years, since the homeopathic op-
position began. 1t woke the old school up,
and by so doing bestowed an ineStimable
boon upon humanity. Its first ideas, re-
garding infinitesimal doses, were as much
TO one extreme as the other schools Coses
were to the other. Both schools have
receded from their extreme views, and are
now very near together. Another change
Is the breaking up of the profession into
specialties A country store contains
everything - hardware, groceries, dry
goods, boots and shoes. So it used to be
with medicine. Only twenty-five years ago
you had to go to a doctor to get tooth
pulled. Now you go to a dentist. The
aye and ear are made one speciality, brain
diseases and insanity another, and so on. 1t
Is impossible for one mind to be expert at
al classes of diseases 1t is too much to
expect a man who amputates a leg to be
,ble the next moment to prescribe for an
infant with marasmus. The dawn is break
ing, sir, and am glad to see it."-Detroit
Tribune.
How to Keep Comfortable.
doctors are no good for what ails me,
said the old party. 81 suffer from under
clothes. My skin is sensitive, and for fort
years 1 have tried to get some sort of fan
nels for underwear that would not set m
crazy. have tried all the different kind