Martinsburg daily gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1887-1887, 1887-06-25
SATURDAY. JUNE rs, 1857.
LIES OF THE LINEMAN.
THE WEATHER CLERK NO LONGER
THE CHAMPION PREyARIcAToR.

THE WEATHER CLERK NO LONGER
THE CHAMPION PREyARlcAToR.
Telling m Average a Over Five Whop-
! pers Fer Day-How the Lineman Worms
his way 70 the Housetop- Trouble -
tho Tenements.
ssThe public are way of when they think
that the weather clerk is the champion
liar Of thu world, = said . keen eyed and
intelligent man with kit Of tools IN his
hand who had just been chased from an
east side tenement BY an angry woman
armed with broom and q kettle Of hot
water. II am quite sure that can outlie
the weather cock any day, and there are
several hundred men IN the city who are
Just as proficient"
ssWill you tell me where this remark
able band Of men is to be found?'
ION the housetOps.
ssDo they go there to liein
mo, they lie to go there"
ssWhat do they do when they get thereF
stOh, they string telegraph, telephone,
electric light, and all other kinds Of wires,
am linenan, and the men speak OF
are all in the same business. will tell
you all about 1t If you will promise to
make the public understand that we are
not morally or legally responsible for the
lies we tell The high toned officers OF
the companies we serve are responsible
never told more than q dozen lies In my
life until became hneman. Last year
/ figured out that / averaged $500
whoppers per day. How did I do it,
Well, kept count Of all the fibs, fancy
and plain lies, and Whoppers that told.
Here Is my memorandum. According to
our arithmetic it takes ten fibs to make
one plain lie, ten plain lies to make one
fancy lie, and ten fancy lies to make ono
Whopper.
AN EXPLANATION.
ssThat was the way prepared tho
schedule on New Years day, but I don't
mind telling you that the habit of lying
was % strong in me that actually could
not set down the truthful result Of my
figuring. But the total Is right within Q
few fractions, and half the people who
study the problem win not be able to
figure any closer to the correct results.
psLet me explain . continued the line
man. .If should through force OF habit
tell an incidental lie, you mustn't be hard
on me. The reason why we lie y this:
You see the boss Nneman viii give 9
gang Of us that's three men--a memo
randum Of an address and coil Of wire,
and tell us to put telephone or telegraph
wire, or an electric light wire, on partic-
ular house Now, the nearest connection
4 sometimes o mile away, and how dc
you suppose we are to get q the desired
house with the wiress Well we must lie
toget there pure, simple lying hlls the
bill. We have no right to make p tele
phone out Of mans house, but we do I
every time. with or without his consent
Now il we went to man or woman and
said that we wanted to fnsten . wire Z.
his or her honse they would object ever,
time. But we sometimes tell them tha
we want to pass wire over the house,
ana assure them It win NOT touch theil
property. That a 4 hb. a We are me
With objections We 60 10 some other hous'
On the same. block and say that we e.,
mendinr 4 neighbor's root and that hi
traps are sealed. We get upon the roo
quite often by this scheme, which we ca
aThe plain IL q also pretty effective
This Is when we 60 to 3 house and e.
that 4 wire charged with electricity ami
nassin0 over the roof has broken ant
fallsn. We always insinnate that there
danCer II win set fira to The house, and
Is 3 mighty sharp woman AZ nan WI
can stand us after THAI When we are 4
hurry we simply walk ~ e mouse an