Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-02-16
A1isfellanenns &eading.
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY MRS. BOWSER.

The other night when Mr.. BoWser came
home to supper 1 was lying down with
dreadful headache. I have headaches oc-
casionally. I wouldn't have them if could
help it, but can't: Once in while have
a chill, but it's nothing Pm to blame TOR.
"Sick, eh ?" growled Mr.. Bowser, as he
entered the bed room.
"Got headache"
'"That is always the way of it! l wish l
could remember one single we'll day which
has passed over your head since we were
married !"
Ppm always WE'LL"
ooh, YOU arew Well, 1 must be blind
not to have discovered the fact! wanted
you to 90 to the theatre tonight"
"I-I guess I can CO."
"Well, 1 guess you can't! Mrs. B0wser,
it does seem queer that whenever have
any special entertainment mapped out you
invariably bust it with headache, palpita-
ton of the heart, torpid liver, or some other
ailment. 1t must be the grossest careless
ness on your part. Have you had doctor
to-dayw
"Why, no."
"Weil, we'll have one! I'm going to
know. what ails you, if have to call all
the doctors in town! / want to know
whether I've married woman Or bundle
of drugs" -.
"You may be ill some day, Mr.. Bowser."
"Bosh, I've got the strength of mind to
throw off even q case of smallpox. The
Bowser family never made fools of them
selves by being upset at every change OF
the weather."
The doctor came up and prescribed a
powder, and he thought I needed tonic OF
some sort. Bowser was gouty all the even,
ing and when he went to bed ne snlffed ana
snuffed and muttered:
"Oh, excuse me thought for moment
that was in Harper's hospital"
Two mornings after that BoWser woke
me up an hour earlier than usual. His face
was Verv pale, his teeth chartered, and
saw at once that he had chill. He had
been Looking yellow around the eyes for
three or four days, and it was evident that
| his liver was out of order.
"What is it ?" I asked.
~ believe Pm going to have c-chili" !"
"Oh, pshaw! Just exercise your WILL
power and throw it Off!'
"Mrs Bowser, I want you to telephone
for doctor-tWo-three doctors, without
delay! Pm an awful sick man, without
one chance in twenty of getting well!"
"Pooh! Mr.. Bowser, I had all arrange
ments made to 60 over to the toboggan
slide to-day, and to have a progressive eu-
chre party here tonight. 1t seems funny
that you should fall sick and spoil all my
pleasureu' -.
"All right go ahead and abuse me all
you want to! When I'm under the sod
you'll think of these things"
The family doctor came up after break
fast and prescribed quinine and some
other simple remedy, and advised Bowser
to lie in bed through the day. The follow
ing was the programme through the fore
noon:
1. I soak Mr.. Bowser's feet.
2. I prepare him three different kinds
of gruels.
8. I send the baby over to mothers be-
cause its cooling disturbs him.
4. I stop all the clocks in the house at
his request.
S. drive all the boys out of the neigh
borhood, to soothe Mr.. BoWser's nerves.
6. I shut the dog in the barn and drive
the cat to the attic.
7. I make list of his debtors and credi-
tors, and look up the insurance papers.
At noon Mr.. Bowser resolved to get out
of bed and the amount of dinner he ate was
positively astonishing. After dinner he
put on his slippers and dressing-gown and
asked:
"Mrs. Bowser. do you suppose cigar
would hurt me:"
"Pooh!"
''There you go! You don't seem to un-
derstand that have been dangerously ill.
and that a relapse would cause my death !!
Mrs. Bowser, believe you secretly wished
during the forenoon that might die"
"Nonsense?"
"Well, your conduct is very suspicious,
to say the least. In case of death believe
you'd marry again! ~
II might"
"Ycu would, eh? That's the kind of a
person you are, is it ~
"Rut, Mr.. Bowser, you've been sick so
much you know, and you've turned the
house into hospital so often"
"Who's sick ?"
"You are. I'd just like to remember the
time when you had we'll day. Mr.. Bow
ser, it is awful thing to chain woman to
an invalid husband"
Then Bowser began to cry, and had to
tuck him up in bed and put hot flatiron
to his feet, and tie rag around his head,
and make him some sage tea. He was all
right next morning, and when asked him
if it was safe for me to invite company for
Friday night, he roared out:
"Safe! Why not?"
"You may be i'll, you know"
land may not, you know? Mrs. Bow
ser, I want you to understand that the
Bowser family-the line l am descended
from-never give up until the very last"
"But they recover wonderful quick"
s"They do, eh? And that's because Of
their strong will power. Mrs. Bowser, I'm
satisfied that I was snatched from the
grave yesterday, and that by no help Of
yours. If l do not return home for the
next three days you have only yourself to
blame!'
But he was back at noon, and he hasn't
had another word to say to me about my
eadaches.-DetroH Free Press.