Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-08
IN NFLUENCE.

The man who cannot make his influence felt in this world is of less importance than common watermelon.-New Orleans Picay- une.
 In ancient time kissing pretty girl was a cure for headache. It is difficult to improve upon some old-time remedies.-Lancaster (Pa.) Examiner.
 Carter Harrison has gone to the Holy Land. It Is always well to secure complete change of climate when going on one's vacation.- Boston Transcript.
 The failure of the Columbian bank of Phil adelphia is at last accounted for. The Phil adelphia base ball club kept it's account there. -Pittsburg Chronicle
 A southern man quarrellsd with neigh bor over the possession of a watermelon and shot him dead. He should have been more patient and let the melon do the job. Boston Post.
 It is said that the next edition of Webster will describe 'syearning" as tthe feeling after passing one winter in that regton."- Kansas City Times.
 Dumley, jr.-''Say, pa, just put the ther mometer out in the sun and it ran up to 120 in little while.'' Dumley-'Wel1 you just bring that thermometer back in the shade. l thought it was getting terribly warm all of a sudden. "-Detroit Free Press.
 "What delicious drink" said an agricu1- turally ignorant young woman who was sip made from the product of the grapevine, Georgea"
 "No," replied George, ''it is made from the product of the bovine. Life. He suddenly began to laugh and he kept it up until his wife got tired. When he was sufficiently recovered to articulate he said: ''My dear, something very funny has just fn Iubn they die like little Bo Peeps sheepT "Be- cause they leave their tales behind them, " responded the lady wearily. "I guess I'll go around to the club," he said gloomily, con- sulting his watch.-New York Sun. The New Education.-Smith-I hear your daughter is a very bright young lady. Jones-Yes, we congratulate ourselves that I suppose? Jones-No. Educated at home strictly. Smith-Oh? Bakes bread, does she, and makes sponge cake. Jones-Couldn't
 cook an egg. Smith-Music, then, painting and all that sort of thinga Jones-Wrong again. She spent a year in Chicago, and no | one can beat her keeping base ball score. Smith-You don't tell me? Well, well. How the rising generation of women is com \ ing to the front.-Omaha Herald. A youngster in neighboring town who I had gone out on a pleasure trip by his fathers consent suddenly broke out crying, and ! when asked what the matter was said: | Mamma will whip me-" An effort was made to soothe him by explaining that as
 his father knew he had come his mother 1 would not scold him for coming without
 saying anything about it. This hardly satis fed the little fellow, who whispered in reply | s'Papa isn't the boss. ."-St. Albans Messen ger.
 l s'Did you get the details of the Scandal divorce case!' asked the city editor of the new reporter.
 '.I heard the trial, but haven't written il
 up."
 | "Why not?"
 "The details are too vile for publication.
 "Young man, you've missed your calling Start out your article by making that state ment in the words you've just used, and
 then give the racy and sensational parts oi
 the case. The public will think they are the l cleanest thing in it."-Minneapolis Journal