The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-10
BRIGHT BITS.

A KENTUCKY NEGRO made rush in the night
on what he thought was a calf. 1t turned out
TO be the back end of mule, and the negro
will always remember that it was.-Detroit Free
Press
No WONDER they say the Yankees exaggerate.
We know one who complained to his butcher
that the last piece of steak sent bin was so
tough that his mother could not chew the gravy.
Boston Globe.
LAW PRoFEssoR--Wh constitutes burglary?
Student-There must be breaking.
Professor-Then il q man enters your door
ana takes IS from your vest pocket in the hall,
would that be burglary?
Student-YeS, sir, because that would break
me.
II USED to write good hand said one man
TO another this morning, but as l have not
written line for ten years, except when | re-
ceipt for my salary | have lost the knack al,
together What business are you inT' Il
am the editor of Topeka daily. ''-Atchtson
Globe.
DO YOU KNOW" said dignifed-looking man,
'that1 never tasted whisky?'
No, was the reply; II know lots Of fellers
that gulp it down quick that way, but somehow
| could always git more enjoyment out of 1t by
lettin it go slow, unless it's clear pizen."-
Washington Critic.
my dear old friend, how were you able to &C
quire such an immense fortunet"
BY very simple method
What method is that?'
When was poor made out that was rich,
and when was rich made out that l was
poor. "-TerdS StftifgS
SEVERAL LADIES and gentlemen visited Central
Park New York, and they admired the animals
very much, and more particularly the kangaroo.
That poor animal is going to die pretty SOON"
remarked Snobbery, punching it with his cane.
Il don't see anything the matter with it," You
don't2 Well do Can't you see that it is on
its last legs?"-TeraS Siftjngs.
A TERRIBLE CAsE.-Omaha Girl-Well, if you
love each other and he is able to support wife,
why don't you marry?
New York Girl-Don't speak of it, | beg of
you. can never marry"
Mercy! What's the Inatter?n
AT every New York wedding now the bride
has to wear her grandmother's pearls and my
grandmother hadn't any.''-Omdhd World.
THE Charlestown Enterprise prints the follow
ing under the caption "A Fragment from Fire
wather." If, as tie head indicates, it is only
fragment, what must the whole business be?
Mr.. Kelly, Capt Michael,
Thou who art Self-Styled boy Wonder"
Why not get giant bean bag,
Hang lantern on each corner
And bat get from some shipyard--
Bat as big as any mainmast;
Then go seek some lonely pasture
With your braves who can't hit east wind,
And essay to learn the easy
Rudiments of common base ball?
RAILROAD ENGINEER-Yo say 1 am color
blind because l call that red zephyr blue, do
you?
Great Scientist-Yes, sir; you are color blind
Il say that zephyr is blue and you say it's
red, now how do you know it isn't blue?"
Amy one with good sight see that is not
blue; it is red -.
Did your wife ever send you to the store to
match zephyr"
Yes"
''Did you ever succeed, Mr.. Scientist, tell me
that?'
NO"
'There, now ''-Omahd World
AN ORIGINAL Mantle casual visitor had
dropped liz to talk with the editor, and opened
by saying: Il wonder why newspaper CORE
spondents generally select such old, stale and
hackneyed names as VeritaS, Observer and
Citizeny"
Il don't know. Taxpayer is another"
Yes, and Vox Popul."
"Ynd Justitia.''
"And JunilIs."
And Witness.
81 have brought you an article that may come
in handy on dull day"
What name did you sign -
More Anon. Lincoln Journal.