Bismarck weekly tribune., 1887-01-28
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS,
From Tuesdays Daily.l
A DISAPPOINTED ADMIRER,

EAltCC cCudlO1 lCCGurc on CCn-
perance in the Atheneum Sunday evening,
all hands have treated him with the ut
most respect, and an enthusiastic individual
who admires ability wherever he finds it,
accosted him yesterday by saying:
"Mr. Fletcher, l heard your lecture Sun
day afternoon"
'Ah, indeed" replied the temperance
champion, with a pleasant smile of ac-
acknowledgement, thinking he had made
convert.
"And it was good, too.'
"You think 50 ?'repled Mr.. Fletcher, with
an air of mingled satisfaction and embar-
rassment.
''Yes. do. Pm id if it wasn't a rat
tier, and you can bet your boots | know a
good speech when hear it, Whatll you
have?'
"Why -you-ah-why, you know l
never drink" stammered the dumb-founded
Fletcher, in amazement.
What. don't drink ?"
"Certainly not"
"And a temperance lecturer?''
"Yes, sir"
"WeIl, I'll be d-dr'
And Mr.. Fletcher walked away and
thought and paused. and then he paused
and thought, and the enthusiastic admrer
turned to friend and exclaimed: "John,
there would be as fine a temperance lee
take about two 'bracers' day."
PROFESSOR GREENE.
The scholarly and classical Representa-.
tive Greene has been modest for many
years and the depth and breadth of his
erudition have been unknown; but the
following argument presented upon the
bill for the destruction of blackbirds ent-
ties him forever to high and respectful
recognition. On this question Mr.. Greere
in note which he modestly gave to the
TRIBUNE last evening, with the assertion
that it had been handed to him by citi-
Zen says:
II notice in the TRIBUNE thata bill is be-
fore the legislature having for its object the
destruction of blackbirds in Dakota. The
wisdom OF such measure would depend
very much upon the specific kind of birds
aimed at. "Blackbirds" is a generic term
and includes every variety having black
plumage. II the promoter of the bill has
in view the destruction of the gracula-
quiscula or crow blackbird there might not
be any reasonable objection to it. But if
he intends to render the oriolus- -phoniceus
or red-winged blackbird, an outlaw and
vagabond in Dakota, every man in the ter
rtory should object and the press should
promptly set down heavily upon the
measure"
A very forclhle argument in favor of the
redwlnged blackbird follows this, and
were it not for the handwriting and other
evidences OF originality, Mr.. Greene might
convince the TRIBUNE that he did not
write IL &c tn6 tbof 1uI,n h.,
sents this. argument to the house, the
gracula-quiscula portion will be referred
to the committee on Indian affairs, and
that the "orilons-phoeniceus" will be dis
tributed among the committees on federal
relations, publ; lands, military affairs and
others, so that the burden will not fall too
heavily upon one. Hereafter it shall
NOT be plain Mr." but all the cliuues and
clans must speak with veneration of Pro-
fessor Grascula-Quiscula Greene. Long
may he wave.
Scattering Shots.
.Inasmuch as something must be done to
give distinctive feature to the two Pattens
OF the house, let's figure little. Patten, of
Miner. spells his name with an &C." Patton,
OF Lawrence, spells his name with an SOL
All, there yOn have it-Patten of Miner
and OPatten of Lawrence. Then. here's
| 10 Mr.. OPatten, and So let it be recorded.
The insinuation published in the St. Paul
Globe to the effect that the Hon. E. A.
Williams is on his feet so much in the
house that he is liable to become obnox-
| ious to the body does an injustice to that
gentleman, whose friends have been in
clined to criticise him for his silence If
the statement was intended as sarcasm, it
is easily excused. but if it was written in
earnest, then the reporter has an original
and novel idea as to the portion of the hu-
man structure known as "feet."
1t is gratifying to the TRIBUNE to see
that the portion of the governors
message relating to marriages was
yesterday referred to Senator NC.
Cumber for consideration. Not that
such excellent gentlemen as Senators Bo-
gert Ericsson and Campbell could not do
Justice to the Ssubject, but because in Mr..
McCumber the marriageable nyoung Ia
dies of the territory have recognized as
fine piece Of matrimonial timber as Gu
pid ever struck.
The cause OF the expressions of gladness
which play about the faces of Dakota's
! senators Is not that any particular political
scheme or plan Of that body has been ex-
ceptionally successful, but because Senator