Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1887-11-18
THE DRUMMER'S REVENGE


the gods. In our days it has become the
delight of travelling statesmen, those demi-
gods of the country, whose mythology
owes its origin to Balzac. This does not
mean that Gaudissart's descendants are
unkind divinities. On the contrary, they
are, as a rule, good natured devils, fond
of the pleasures of the table, which is a
very legitimate liking, besides heartily
relishing a good laugh and making the
most of life. These gay companions are
not satisfied with enjoying anything alone.
A fig for egotism, that vice of i'll natured
people! Their gayety is of a communica-
tive sort, and their supreme delight is to
relate to each other the tricks and pranks
practiced on some fellow drummer. Their
jokes are generally of a free and easy
species, and, as a rule, no drummer cares
about keeping the last lick. indie irde.
From this popularity arises an unquench-
able thirst for revenge.
Their anger is generally short lived, and
s soon dissipated by the contents of q
bottle of champagne. They are very I'M
relenting, however, and they make it a
matter of conscience to get even with the
fellow joker that has hoaXed them. Just
think Let us imagine one of them to
have been at PerigneuX, the victim of q
practical joke How could he dare to re-
urn to that town, the scene of Romen's
greatest exploits, unless he could say at
The table dhote: "You know, caught up
with him at Bordeaux, and, tell you,
paid him back in his own coin with heavy
interest" Instances are cited in which
retribution has been delayed for two or
three years, and the sweets of revenge en-
joyed only after the victim had travelled
- l. =
like certain wines that are improved by
voyage to India and back, the enjoyment
was all the greater ON account of the de-
lay. 1t is no rare thing to hear the Chew
alier de la Guelte, escorting the Baron DIES
Rossignols to the depot at Beziers, say:
''As for you, old fellow, shall pay you
back at Dunkirk in six months time.'i
The Baron des Rossignols may rely on the
ehevalier's meeting his obligations at ma
turity.
AS for me, said friend Doublure, I
lid not have to wait so very long for re-
venge, the last time, when 1 got even
with that COMPOUNDED scamp, Bechard
Bechard is not bad fellow, but he is the
most inveterate joker that ever lived.
His system is rather on the old style. He
has no creative genius, and tries to keep
ahead by practicing lot Of classical jokes
which he always keeps in stock. His
imagination is so sterile that he is COM
PEELED to rely on quantity to replace what
S wanting in quality. But, in this world,
everybody does the best he cam Yet in
loing what he can, Bechard becomes u
bore with his jokes. When he has picked
any one out as the butt of his wit the
victim has either to display his temper
which always shows bad form, or to leave
The place to Bechard and go elsewhere.
On my last trip to Quimper I had need
If all my patience on his account. Hav-
ng stopped at the Hotel de IEpee, met
lim at the breakfast table, Delighted in
inding a good subject to practice on my
friend Bechard went to work without loss
If time. In the evening, at dinner, fritters
we're brought in. Becharf who had left
the dining room for a minute, returned just
IN time to take the dish from the waiter
md place two fritters upon my plate. At
;he first bite my teeth met with a soft re
;istance that set them on edge. | took
she fritter between my fingers, and open
ing it, l found small card, round as q
coin, bearing this inscription: "The best
,loth may be had from the house of -
giving the name of the firm represented
oy my friend Bechard. put ON a pleas
ant face over the matter, and, after din
ner, we started out together to the coffee
house.
On the sidewalk, at the very door of the
hotel, Bechard offered me a Londres,
which I accepted; he was even kind
enough to hand me a burning match. |
lit my cigar, but before I had gone fifty
steps, pschtt a real Roman candle blazed
out between my teeth, nearly binding
oE :,
speak to me. He went away furious, and
[ lost his trade, while, at the distance of
three steps, Bechard was clinging to
lamp post, laughing to kill himself. At
the coffee house he caused me to stumble
thereby making me tear the cloth of the
billiard table, which mishap cost me
twenty francs. Later on we returned to
the hotel
We stayed awhile, chatting with the
landlord. Bechard soon left US, begging
to be excused, as he felt very sleepy l
did not go up stairs until fully quarter
of an hour after he did, and 1 am sure
that you will not be astonished when ]
tell you that he had made good use of the
fifteen minutes. When put my key into
the lock l found that l could not open
the door; it was fastened on the inside
After all, was it really my room? Evil
IDENTIFY not, as heard, on the inside, the
grumbling of somebody whose slumbers
had been disturbed. I returned down
stairs. No, there was no mistake. "Your
room is No. 10, sir!' l went up again.
and this time succeeded in opening the
door. am in my room. No, by Jove it be-
longs to somebody else, for there is per-
son in the bed. 1 beg his pardon, and am
on the point of withdrawing when an idea
strikes me. Going to the bed gently
tap the sleeper on the shoulder and find
that l have been trying to arouse-my
bolster, to which I had been addressing
my apologies. soon found the solution
CT tne mystery when [ discovered panel
door in one of the corn.rs of the room
1t was plain that Bechard had managed
to get the room next to mine I tried the
knob. The rascal had barricaded the
door. l raped A loud snore was the
only answer l got. The joke had been
carried out to the end-the end, no, not
yet, for as l endeavored to slip in between
the sheets my progress vas arrested by an
earthenware vessel artistically covered up.
Bechard was undoubtedly great man.
got in bed at last and FIJI asleep while
revolving in my mind different plans by
means of which could obtain a striking
revenge. But the question was, would 1
have sufficient time? Suppose Bechard
were to escape the next day! No danger,
we were both going tc Douarnenez. We
would meet again.
4 X
We did meet again, the next morning,
just after rising.
81 say" said Bechard, coming up to
ME, "are you going to Douarnenez?"
eyes"
''In what carriage?'
SIN nv own"
: "Could you manage to make room for
me?''
''Why, certainly. with pleasure.
% The incautious fellow was placing him.
self in my power. My eyes must have
flashed like those of a cat finding again a
mouse that she had almost given up for
lost.
''Wait for me minute Them said
Bechard. II want to change my breeches,
as it is quite chilly this morning, and
am shivering in the ones l have on"
1t was then the month Of August. But
it was 5 o'clock in the morning and stiff
wind was blowing from the east. Bechard
had come down in a pair of linen panta-
looms.
He returned in a short while, his legs
incased in a pair of winter trousers, the
cloth of which seemed to he nearly an