The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-08-15
HOW A CONVENTION OF CHURCH
PEOPLE WAS BROKEN UP.
The Baseball and Horse Reporter
Gets Things Mixed aud Has
q Narrow Escape.

nausea, there was no escape. Armed
with his mask, a score book and wear.
ing an umpire shirt, the baseball man
put in an appearance at the hall
wherein the pious souls were gathered.
At the door he encountered the ser.
geant.at-arms, q recent convert, who
yet remembered with concealed dc.
light the records OF Arson, Oomiskey, |
Kelly and other famous veterans OF
the diamond. The moment his eye
fell upon the mystic word umpire"
be seemed to rise above the
religious atmosphere surrounding
him, aud, without realizing what he
was eayiDg, besought the new conner
to "give both clubs q fair shake"
"rhe home plate Is yond.r,"
said he, "and that long. bearded,
bsld-hesded man on the rostrum Is
FIRST man at bat. He's Q slugger
from way back and q great kicker.
Keep your eyes open when he's about"
So saying, he was escorted to the small
table set apart for reporters, and the
eergeant resumed bis position at the
door, or "short STOP" as he termed II
when carried back to his bas eball days.
In short time the president arose
and was about to declare the meeting
ready for business, when the reporter
cried, "plsy ball" A deep hush eet.
tied upon the convention, all eyes
were turned in the direction from
whence the sound came, and the
president cast look Of anger and dis
may upon the young man which
caused instant collapse. Again the
captain-or preeident-took up his
opening remarks, but had not got
fairly under way before the reporter
yelled "three strikes" and reached
down for his mask. Instantly there
was confusion confused, the conven.
ton was on Its feet, and every body
was excited.
"Four strikes, you're out, batter up
I'll fine you So" exclaimed the
reporter, aud the president and SER
geant made for him, the former de-
msnding an explanation Of bis cor.
duct, the latter insisting that the de-
cision was all right-the ball had
passed squsrely over the plate, and bis
side would resent any monkey bust.
ness or attempted bulldoxlug.
Knocked out by the singular inter.
ruptione, the delegates were complete.
ly at sea as 10 what should be done.
HE is representing q newspaper"
they argued, "And we had better en-.
deavor 10 pass his conduct by today,
but tomorrow We will ask his chief for
Q change"
After quiet had been restored, the
president announced that the first
business TO come up was the report o.
the COMMITTEES on Prohibition.
"Foul, outi" shouted the reporter a
the president dropped into bis chair.
"Hoo-rayi |" responded the tergezn
from the other end OF the bulldipg.
"Breihren-"began the president
rising slowly and addressing the con.
veDtion.
an give you Ave minutes 10 gs
back beyond the lines and let III,
game proceed" commanded the ne
porter.
DaEsd at the reporters impudencS
and trusting to luck for relief, he sa
down.
"Play ballp he said, and without
seeming 10 notice tho interruption
the chairman Of the Committee OF
Prohibition stretched himself 10 hi
fullest stature and began to read
. "Your Committee on Prohibition
, 'Balk-take your base y calmly eai'
the reporter would respectfully
report" Tesumtd the chairman.
"Out for not runningp came loudly
/, from the reporters quarter.
That's rotten I" protested the ser
geant, who imsgined his club at bal
and came running up the aisle gei
, tioulating and insisting that he woul
not be robbed.
"Ten dollars"
"Make Il twenty-fily--one hur
dreJP. yelled the sergeant "We'
: withdraw from the gsmew
"Nine nothing In iavor Of the Jim
: cracks" decided tbs reporter, and .
= the sergeant made Tor him with
hickory stick, snatchtd from one ,
the excited brethren, he lodged nj
der the table. came out on the 9th,
. side aud made q bse-line Tor the doc
= AZ the last thread Of his coat disal
. pesred through the opening q he
: dozen stalwart men seized the ira
sergeant and bore him 10 the foo
y AZ be went down he muttored, 9Th
|. fellows rotten 10 the core, and beaid
- don't kror q bal from = burE-s Jaw
- When he became pacihed the me,
:, and mild hammered delegates 70
:, soned with him, aud inquired what
= all meant. Baseball" ne murmure
!, and then they remembered that
y had recently been Or a'ehed az o braI
), from the burning, ~ IL were. Qul
a was restored and the business Of q
- session was not again interrupted.
!. But the reporter. When he clear
~ the building he made straight for
~ friendly freight car, In which he 10
.s refuge until tie train on which
ss was 10 return cams along. As he Z
ns tered the Office he cast lurtiys glan'
- nj each man in thu room, 10 ma
- cure he was sale, and reported n I
managing editor a. follows:
|. thought / was sent out 10 imp
lie that convention"
n "so you were"
nd "well, I tender my resignation q
NO member OF the staff. They'r,
nv lot Of hoodlums, and don't know .
Va more about baseball than tbs verI
nd heather OF the Sandwich Islar
ma They chned me ofi the field "
md bats and beer glsssee, and even II
Nv 10 smash nv head with my own mi
All. Excuee me" and hs walked out OF
w. ofiise Into darkness. Next day the
n. ligious editor's head was reduced
Az. the neiehborhood Of ils normal col
nia ton, he took aboard the usual sAI
monious expression and furnished
ollo admirable report Of the proceedi
ia, Thus tbs evil WAS eounl efacted.
by
sec. The Kind nj n wife re Got.
age KanluekW Atafs IauFnal