West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1887-09-22
A FRENCH FIRE.EATER.

longed. He must have had ancestors
among the exquisites of the reion of
Louis NIL, the swash- -bucklers OF the
Hotel de Royaumont, or the splendid
corps OF musketeers of Louis XIV Cho-
quarts mania for dueing, his eyer-recur-
ring provocations to decide a difference
at the swords point made of him public
character; and his reputation was per-
maps heightened rather than diminished
Dy the fact that his most terrible chal-
lenges were unable TO withstand the offer
oil peaceful solution over a bowl Of
punch. His guileless talk and southern
accent, his peculiar way of lispin0 and
other physical oddities, gave TO his daily
odyssey smack of the most genuine
comic buffoonery
when the mania for fighting was
strong within him it was difficult TO evade
ms mood. One day he would enter a
coffee house, take his seat, and say TO a
near neighbor:
After you, the Figaro, please"
sir, the other would politely re-
spond, ''it is not the Figaro but the Con
S'tuttonnet that am reading"
"Ohl you would give me that lie.
would youi Take care, sir, or I'll teach
you better manners"
On another occasion he would intro.
ouce like scene after this fashion:
NOW, don't keep staring at me in that
offensive way, p!easel"
eXpostulated the customer. "Bless
me, sir, l didn't even see you. was
looking the other way"
"Ohl then am liar am I2n And
Choquart would rise from his seat in n
threatening attitude.
-
Even the most peaceful persons could
scarcely put up with such insolence
Ihey ielt like tucking up their sleeves
and Knocking Choquart down. Nor did
ne fail, at times, to meet with his de-
serts. He more than once stumbled on
Tartar. His best known scrone that
way IS worth relating Choanart one
uay entered courtyard to challenge a
master builder, who was pumping water
at fountain. The master builder looked
up surprised, caught hold of Choquart bv
the scruH of his neck, doubled him un
put MN under the pump, and soused him
like dead rat. ''''-'
Inc story of Choquart's adventures
would NIL volume, but will relate only
one, wherein acted as his second.
One night, at masked ball, Choquart
quarreled with a Turk. Cards were ex
changed. The following day, Choouart.
with his two seconds, went to his adyer-
sary house. The Turk of the previous
evening turned out to be a we'll do
upholsterer, who carried on business in the
Saint Martin quarter. On entering tie
premises, Choquart inquired after Nj
What can do for you 2" asked n
young and pretty woman, who came for
ward from the back of the shop.
stun and nonsense / don't like
Joking In matters Of serious importance
MY name is Choquart. / come for an
aiiair OF honor. A gentleman shouldn't
De made to wait in this manner. Yolr
husband is an il-bred dog"
On, excuse me, now / know what
Drlngs you. This is what have to saw
MY husband went out yesterday 10 spend
the carnival, and it has made him i'll
de IS In bed, and spits blood"
Dear me, remarked Choquart turn
ing towards his seconds, "what mis-
chance ! He spits blood, did you saw 20
Alas yes, sir, answered the Young
woman, who seemed much affected. "and
the doctor says that he has not six
months TO live
" Dear me ! " went on repeating Cbo.
quart, "spits blood How shall we settle
matters then 2 Hasn't six months to live
wen, madame, I'm not a bad fellow.
whatever others may think Now. listen
toWhat have to say. We arc in January.
sren we Just so. Well, I'll give your
husband six months to be buried in
shaii call around and pay my respects six
'onths hence. If, in July next. your
husband isn't dead and buried, ri treat
MIN as kDaye and deceiver. and placard
ms name In all the barracks of Paris
Ihis threat, which constantly fell from
Choquarps lips, was n reminiscence of
bis soldier life. The thought never suO-
gested itself that an upholsterer might
not care the jingle Of a brass farthfne
whether his name were placarded or not
IN ali the barracks OF the country.
Ohe me afternoon in Julyo chat same
yoar, Choquart took hold of nv arm at
the Varieties cofiee-house, and said
Come along with me, old boy have
small matter which really must clear
up without further loss Of time"
we took n road which led toward the
Saint Martin quarter, and. as we walked
along, Choquart entered circimstantially
into the particulars Of the case. The up.
hoisteror's day Of reckoning had arrived
ana Choquart was bent on finding out
whether his former Turk had paid the
funeral draft indorsed six months previ.
ously by his wife.
"If, " soliloquized Choquart, "the
rogue is still alive, I'll cut of both his
ears, you know. I'm justified 10 80 doing.
am ] nOtT
"Of course you are, my dear fellow.
But, let me ask, the thing occurred long
ngo, didut it, aud I'm the carnival sea-
SOM And again, what did the fellow do
70 warrant such a feud f
What did he do, the villian2 just
listen and TN tell you. wasat amasked
ball given at the Renaissance Theatre.
] walked into the green room in INV dress
suit ] am spare of limb. as YOU can sec.
Suddenly a Turk stopped directly In
front of me and bawlcd out. Hailoo
there goes the Fat Oxl Make wav
please for tho Fat Oxp Evervbodv
roared At this sally I was DOWNRIGHT
voxed, as you may suppose SO made
up 10 him and said My merry friend. mi
noon tomorrow you shall be a dead
man p"
''Hs was in the wrong, certainly" I