davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-06-29

ENA, MICH, WEDN]
WIT AND HUMOR.
A curious sight-a walking match
The best known officer-Genera
want.-The Colonel.
Party lines-rows of wallflowers.-
Burlington Free Press.
Which is the most avaricious? 1
man will run after dollar, while
dog will follow scent.-Ex.
A substitute pitcher has been know
to hold quite as much beer as regu
lar one.-New Haven News.
The oyster is like a man in one re
spect. He is of little use until yor
get him out of his bed.-Boston Cour
ier.
A man who was struck by lightning
in st. Louis, says he has felt lik,
thunder ever since.-Boston CONNER
cial-Bulletin.
1t was very appropriate for Find
lay, o., to hold grand drill to cele
brate the finding of natural gas
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
1t is suggested that the Queer
should bestow on Lawrence Donovan
the champion American jumper whC
is now diving into English rivers, the
Order of the Bath.-Free Press.
Mr.. Dusenberry-"I saw an i'm.
mense electrical plant down town
1t is very evident that gas" Mrs
Dusenberry-"Was it in bloom dear
Why didn't you bring me cutting?'
Philadelphia Call.
A lady recently appeared at fash
ionable masquerade as mushroom
She was quite as successful as are a
great many mushrooms who appear
at fashionable masquerades as ladies
Merchant Traveller.
Quite number of summer hotels
have announced that they will not
entertain dogs or children. 1t will
not be necessary. Dogs and children
are quite capable of entertaining
themselves.-New Haven News.
Some one who has given the work
considerable study says that "blue
eyes usually 60 with light hair" We
have not given the matter much
thought, but we have noticed that
black eyes frequently 60 with bloody
nose.-Norristown Herald.
Herr Professor-"You haf re-
margaply powerful foice, my vrent."
Basso-"Yes do you think it will fill
St. James Hall ?" Herr Professor
"Fill st. Chames Hall Ach, my
vrent, it viii not only fill st. Chames'
Hall-it will empty it."-Punch.
Curate (tc old man who is beating
his donkey)-"Fie fe my good
friend. Do you know what happened
to Balaam once? ?"
Old man--"Ees, sure, zur--the
same as has just happened to me, zur
"a ass spoke to him."-Irish Times.
"He's GAVIN to the dawgs. paw fel-
law, he has, | assuaw you"
Good gracious! | hadn't noticed
it,"
"Gad Wheaw aw youaw eyes :?
Haven't you seen how tight his
bweeches aw and the cussed colaw of
the cwawat he weaws PIX.
Young man (to magistrate)-I want
a marriage license.
Magistfate-What's the young la
dy's name!
Young man-Miss Lula Smith.
Magistrate-You're too slow, my
boy. l wrote that name in license
this morning for young Brown.-N.
Y. Sun.
whats the trouble now?" asked
a nervous passenger on Dakota road
as the train came to a sudden halt.
"Oh, nothing much," said the break
man, struggling to get away, "the
freight ahead of us got off the track
and run into the depot, knockin' it
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-06-29

"a ass spoke to im."-Irish Times.
"He's GAVIN to the dawgs, paw fel-
law, he has, | assuaw you"
Good gracious | hadn't noticed
it,"
"Gad Wheaw aw youaw eyes !?
Haven't you seen how tight his
bweeches aw and the cussed colaw of
the cwawat he weaws ?"-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-06-29
MICHIGAN CENTRAL

Taking effect December 5th, 1885,
Lv. Bay City. Ar. Bay City.
700 IN Detroit, Pt. Huron Buff Ex, ~ IS IN
$50 m ......Chicago & Jackson Ex......l II 45 m
q 05 IN ....Grayling Accommodation. 25 m
10 d IN ...... Macknac Express.",.....| Is p m
80 IN Chicago Express ....,...... 30 p IN
5 90 m ... Merchants Express north. 10 80 a IN
$50 m Detroit & Cincinnati Fast Ex. As p m
IS IN ....Saginaw Accommodation 80 p m
s 80 IN .Mackinao and Marquette Ex.. 10 90 p IN
rs a m Saginaw, Det., & cast Accom- 10 IS p m
"Daily except Saturday. All other trains daily
except Sunday ParlOr cars on day trains sleep
ing cars on night trains
Offices in Leavens Bros book store, l09 Center
avenue, and at depot, foot Of Washington avenue.
j. WHITING,
"A. VAUGHAN, Ticket Agent.
Division Superintendent.
Nv. RUGGLES, FL. WHITNEY,
G.P. & r. a. A.G. p. & 7. A.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-06-29

Curate (tc old man who is beating
his donkey)-"Fiel fe! my good
friend. Do you know what happened
to Balaam once ?"
Old man--"Ees, sure, zur--the
same as has just happened to me, zur
"a ass spoke to him. Irish Times
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Happy Philadelphians.

The Philadelphians enjoyed another
centennial celebration last week, this
time in honor of our constitution.
There were great civic and industrial
parades the first day, military pa
rade with 10000 men in line and wit
messed by half million visitors the
second day, followed with a speech by
President Cleveland on the closing
day. Worthy of note was the fact
that the end of the parade was occu-
pied by the Grand Army of the Repub-
lie, and as each post passed in front of
the stand it's commander gave a sulute
to the president which was recognized.
A reception Friday evening to Presi-
dent and Mrs. Cleveland was one of
the greatest social successes ever wit
messed in the city. Fully 10000 peo-
pie were present. The memorial ora
ton was delivered on Saturday by JUS
tice Miller. Many distinguished peo-
pie were present and Mr.. Blaine sent
his regrets from over the water.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22

Rev. z. J. Wheeler of West Charles
ton, exchanged with Mr.. Tracy last
Sabbath, preaching here in the fore
noon and at Burke in the afternoon.
j. w. Murkland of Barton is to put a
furnace under the Free Baptist meet
ing house for heating it. 1t is expect
ed to be ready for use the first Sabbath
in October.
Rev. A. P. Tracy has at the urgent
request of the church and his numer-
Gus friends, decided to decline the call
he received from Alton, N. H. This is
as it should be.
The session of the Vermont yearly
meeting recently at South Strafford
was one of the best it has ever held.
1t was largely attended and conference
business was harmonious in every re-
spect. The preaching was interesting
and powerful, social services of the
best, in some of them from eighty to
one hundred taking part. Saturday
and Sunday evenings several present
ed themselves for prayers at the anx-
iOus seat, and the session closed with
good revival in progress.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Heavenly Visitants.

Maine papers tell the story of an i'm
mense meteor charger than box car"
that fell near VancebOro last week,
with terrific force, plunging into the
earth a distance of ten feet and shak-
ing the earth so that the crockery rat
tied in houses near by. 1t was so hot
when it fell that the country people
who f1ocked around to see the celestial
visitor could not approach within
many feet of it. At Halifax and
throughout the province the meteor
was seen going through the air as "big
as an elephant" While there is some
disposition to discredit this meteorite,
there is no doubt that snch an one was
visible, though further and more con-
siderate Investigations go to show that
it didn't land anywhere, but fell into
the bay of Fundy.
But story comes from Georgia of
the fall of a metal ball, compared with
which the Maine affair is hardly worth
mentioning. This was a spherical ball,
on the surface of which appear craven
characters which give conclusive evil
dence of its having been moulded by
intelligent hands, and local scientists
suggest the horrible idea that lunarian
gunners, Oh Mars or Venus have set
up the earth us a target and have at
last hit it These wonderful stories
will be taken with Il grain of salt.
Mean while the great West is yet to be
heard from.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Personal MENTION.

Miss Florence Frost is spending a
few weeks in Boston.
1. E. Sanborn, Dartmouth '09, has
been appointed secretary and treasur-
er of his society.
Florence Perley of Barton Landing
is stopping with her sister, Mrs. Lewis
p. Smith of this place.
Mrs. A. r. COrliss goes this week to
Lagrange, Illinois, where her eldest
son, A. T. COrliss, is located.
George A. Paine did not find things
just to suit him at LittletOn and has
entered the Vermont university at
Burlington instead.
Mrs. C. t. Brigham is spending a
few weeks with her mother and sister
at East Randolph. Ohio Brigham is
visiting at Mr.. McCaskell's in Montreal.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. F. Brown started
yesterday for a western trip. They
will visit Mr.. Browns brother in Wis
consin and perhaps goto Minneapolis
and other points.
G. G.. Morse, late publisher of the
Christian Messenger has been offered
and accepted a situation as teacher in
Clark university, Atlanta, Ga. If he
likes there he will make the South his
future residence.
Rev. F. D. Aver, d. D., a graduate
of st. JOhnsbury academy and the
preacher of the baccalaureate sermon
to the graduating class of '86, has COM
pleted 20 years of a successful pastor
ate over the North Congregational So
ciety in Concord, N. III.
The party for the st. Louis encamp-
ment, G.. A. R., purpose leaving here
this afternoon on the express via
Swanton. Among those who intend to
join the party are Department Com
mander P. d. Blodgett, DIR. G.. B. Bull
lard, Col. Dennis E. May of Command
er Blodgett's staff, M. T. Fenno, Henry
Ely, Joseph Midget, j. G.. Hovey and
wife and Mrs. Moulton of this place, G..
j. Bell and wife of East Hardwick,
Capt. Foster and wife of Derby Line.
Thus far As persons in the state have
signified their intention of joining the
party.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Beware of the Bull.

So often we see accounts of the gor-
ing of some one by bull, and three
times out of four the account is extend
ed to inform the reader that this is the
first time the animal ever did such a
thing, and that the victim never i'm
agined the bull was capable of such ac-
ton. The vicious bull is regarded
with suspicion and handled with care.
So he does no one any harm. Look
out for the gentle bull. He may be a
demon. 1t is natural for bull to be
vicious as it is for him to push against
a fence. He may not assert this par
ticular characteristic so early in life,
but it may develop fully in an instant
and result fatally to his victim when
least expected. So we repeat it-watch
the bull with vigilant eye. Always
expect him to be just ready for an at
tack, and always be ready to foil his
first attempt.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
LYNDONVILLE.

Mrs. Ella (Thompson) Mccall has
returned to Mass.
The LyndOnville band play at Bar
ton at the fair.
j. G. Jones has sold his house to Jay
S. Butler for about $1,000.
Ingalls, Bros. have put two hundred
tons of ensilage corn into their silo. l.
III. Hall has filled his silo with one
hundred tons of rowen.
The remains of Frank Randall who
died recently in California, have ar
rived, and funeral services will be held
on Sunday at 2 p. m. The Masons at
tend in body.
j. c. Jones, wife and daughter, j. C..
Sargent and wife, w. F. Stoddard and
wife, John Cannaway, o. G.. Chase, F.
w. Herring, Francis Dow, VIM. Ferry
and Frank Hunter, started for Califor-
mia last Tuesday.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
The Lecture Course.

The Lecture Course.
The lecture committee have not
completed all the details of the next
seasons lecture course, but announce
that the opening lecture will be given
by T. Dewitt Talmage of Brooklyn
N. Y, on Thursday evening, October
20. This lecture will be followed by
concert Nov. 10 by the New York Phil
harmonic society. Further announce
ments as to talent engaged and dates
will be made next week. Since the
death of Cough and Beecher, DR.. Tai
mage stands at the head of American
platform speakers. He will speak but
a limited number of times during the
season as he refuses many more en-
gagements than he can fill. The COM
mittee have secured him after great
deal of work and at great expense, and
trust that course which opens with
so eminent a speaker will receive the
patronage of the people. Arrange
ments for special trains from Lyndon
vile will probably be made. Tickets
will probably be put on sale Oct. 10.
Of these details announcements will be
made next week. 1t is the purpose of
the committee to present a list of
speakers and concerts that have never
before appeared in the Y. M. G. A.
courses of this place.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
PEACHAM.

Miss Flora COwles returns to North
ampton, Mass, Tuesday morning.
Mrs. Elsie Cowles of Audubon, Ia,
been visiting here for few days, re-
turns home Wednesday.-Mr. Hender-
son, son of Dea. VIM. Henderson, has
also been visiting his relatives here,
and returns to Audubon with Mrs.
Cowles.
Rev. P. B. Fiske is making Il visit to
his old parishiOners here after an alb
sence of Is years. His sermon Sunday
morning, and his talk about mission
work in the South, Sunday evening
were listened to by large and attentive
audiences.
To those who have leisure for pleas
ure rides we say, ride through the
green alley leading from the Phelps
place to Paul Ferguson's. For peace
and beauty this grove surpasses any
thing in that region and since VIM.
V. has put the road in good repair, the
ride through it is delightful.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
A Local Circus.--A Show of Question
able Value in Several Ways.

The auction sale of 40 or so Texas
horses in the rear of the st. Johns
bury house stables attracted consider
able attention Saturday. The horses
sold from $50 to $50 each, one bring
ing $40. The most exciting part of
the program came in when couple of
cowboys caught the horses with lassoes
and delivered them over to their pur-
chasers. There were some exciting
not to say cruel scenes, the horses be-
ing more like lot of wild deer than
anything else. There seems fair
prospect that the accident column of
local papers will be we'll supplied for
the next few weeks.
Since the sale several of the horses
are reported as dead, and it is said
that the fillies are with foal and their
deaths are attributed by some to the
rough and cruel treatment in catching
and dragging them home, for it took
the combined strength of half a dozen
men and hours of time to remove. some
of the wild and frantic creatures from
the place of sale. This whole bust
ness of bringing wild horses to Yer
mont, besides being barbarous, is OF
questionable value to a state which is
now endeavOring to recover its pres
tige for breeding fine horses. At any
rate there should be some law enforced
to prevent such cruelty to these wild
and helpless animals as has been wit
messed here the past few days.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
SHEFFIELD.

James Drown is quite sick.
Gilman Nelson and family start for
home this week.
Alfred Gray has put in new fume
at the grist mill.
Perry Townsend of New York City
is visiting John Ferguson.
Lorraine Simpson has gone to South
birmingham, Mass, on visit.
o. H. Jenness has been quite sick
but is reported better at the present.
Methodist sociable at Mrs. Dana
Phillips next Friday afternoon and
evening.
At DR.. S. A. JOnes's auction, things
sold we'll and the DR.. is going to leave
Sheffield soon.
Mrs. Foster Brown, Mrs. Charles
Chesley and Mrs. Jonas Bruce were
delegates to the w. G.. Il. U. cOnven-
ton at Woodstock.
brooke fair last week but they don't
think there was as good show as
can be found at Caledonia fair.
The w. C.. t. U. hold an envelope
party at the Free Baptist church next
Monday evening. All interested in the
work are requested to be present.
M. P. Jenness had a smash up with
his Bronco horse the other day. The
horse began to kick and Morrel thought
he would unhitch him, but the horse
was too quick for him and liberated
himself.
The camp-meeting on the square
was very well attended. A. B. Riggs
of Underhill director. Presiding elder,
III. p. Cushing, l. p. Chase and j. Nc
Donald were present. The meetings
were very successful.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
DANVILLE.

About 100 tickets were sold to St.
Johnsbury fair Wednesday.
Rev. T. w. Darling and family ar
rived in town Monday from their va
cation trip.
NJ. j. Caldbeck has got the DR.. Aver
house torn down and is busy now pre-
pairing the cellar and foundation of the
new one.
Samuel w. French, wife and child of
Milwaukee, left town Monday for
Mass, and from thence home. They
have been stopping at the Elm house a
month.
A. l.. Way bought a nice pair match
ed bay horses for NJ. w. StimsOn OF
Boston last week. B. f. Haviland
matched and fitted them for sale this
season. Price about $500.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Academy Notes.

The Ath8nian society is running
this term under their new president,
Elizabeth Hail.. o. Jones has re-
signed his position as editor in chief
of the Student, Carl Fletcher succeeds
him in that Office. The senior class
have chosen crimson and white for
their color, and as a motto the phrase
"In Earnest" which will appear in
Greek.-Frank Crawford ~ stopped
in town few days on his way to col
lege.--The Adelphian society held it's
first meeting last Friday evening. AS
usual in the first meeting the member
ship was small, but a decided interest
was taken by all present and the meet
ing passed off in a very promising
manner. All should avail themselves
of its advantages.-The middlers wish
to be known by blue and corn color,
the badge of the class.-Seniors will
begin to crate October II.-Students
have been allowed to attend the fair
three afternoons this week, privilege
of which many availed Themselves
The Academy nine played with the
Dartmouth sophomore nine on the
campus Wednesday afternoon score
Is to in favo the Dartmouth club
The Dartmonth's defeated the Lyn-
! don nine last Saturday. Score Tito 10.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
On Observatory Mob.

The crowd that responded to Chas.
S. Hastings call for aid in erecting an
observatory on PrestOn's hill Saturday
afternoon was not very numerous,
though there were hundreds who were
able to climb the hill and enjoy the
view from the structure the next day.
Those who did respond worked well,
however, and succeeded in getting mp
the frame, and the affair was cOmplet-
ed early in the week. Mr.. Hastings
has showed considerable public spirit
in this matter and the result is one of
the best opportunities to enjoy a
mountain view in this section.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Vermont Branch Meeting.

At the wOman's missionary meeting
next Wednesday the programme will
be of varied character. In the fore
noon reports from the secretaries,
treasurer and vice presidents, and an
address by Miss Porter of China. In
the afternoon addresses will be made
by Miss Stanwood of Boston, Mrs. Ca
prom of India, Miss Gardner of Japan
and Miss Gilman of Norwich, Conn.
Tuesday evening from u to 81 there
will be an informal reception at Mrs.
Horace Fairbanks for all the strangers
and those entertaining them.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
LYNDON CENTRE.

E. H. Kinds, our new merchant, has
arrived and will occupy the tenement
over his store.
A town meeting will be held Oct. |
to see if the town viii vote to repair
the old town house.
The DartmOuths and Lyndons play
ed the most interesting base ball game
of the season here last Saturday. The
LyndOns were stronger at the bat than
their opponents but were out-felded
and lost the game by score of IL to
10. BlOdgett of st. Johnsbury UNI
PRED the game to the satisfaction of
all. Several hundred spectators saw
the game.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
VERMONT NEWS.
Attempted Suicide.

John Morris, on his way from New
ton, Mass. to Bolton, Que, stopped at
the Newport house Thursday night
and attempted suicide by cutting his
throat with jacknife. He was not
successful in the attempt, and lacking
courage notified the clerk, who called
doctor, who dressed his wounds.
He is in fair way of recovery. De-
spondency is supposed to have been
the cause.
Reunion of the Eighth Vermont.
The 10Th annual reunion of the
Eighth Vermont regiment was held at
White River Junction Friday with an
attendance of about 60 members and
also.representatives of 18th New Hamp-
shire and Goth Massachusetts regi-
ments of the same brigade. A ban
quet and camp fire were held in the
evening. Gen. Stephen Thomas pre-
sided, and Col. Fred E. Smith acted as
toastmaster. Chapters of the unwrit-
ten history of the regiment were read
by Coils. Fred E. Smith and George N.
Carpenter. Among the prominent per-
sons present were Lient.-GOv. Fuller,
ex-GOv. Barstow, Quartermaster-Ge Gen
eral Gilmore and Capt. Buffum.
In the Orleans County supreme court
Judge Veazey sentenced Amos Stew
art to the state prison for one year,
Andrew Wilkins for four years, George
f. Fisher to the reform school for five
years, all for larceny.
Bartholomew Rady, employed by
the town in construction of a sewer at
Bellows Falls, was fatally injured last
week by the caving of the bank of a
ditch in which he was at work. He
was ~ years of age and leaves family.
Suits against the Central Vermont
road for death and injuries by last
winters catastrophe, are being filed
rapidly at different points. Six were
instituted recently for amounts vary
ing from five to thirty thousand dol
lars each.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
Newspaper Dead Beats.

If country newspapers were to pub
lish the names of subscribers who take,
read and enjoy, and are gratified by,
yet refuse to pay for their home pa
pers, the reputation of most cOmmuni.
ties for moral honesty would depreci-
ate 20 per cent. An editors labor is
seldom esteemed or compensated. A
lawyer gives you five minutes advice
on topic and charges you SIS for it.
An editor will give you advice on a
hundred topics, iand charge five cents a
copy for his paper, and very often five
cents given to an editor would save SIS
given to a lawyer. In fact, no other
business men are so universally robbed
and swindled out of their labor aud
capital as country newspaper publish
ors
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22

The band gave a concert Monday
evening at Fairbanks village. Mr..
PerigO called the boys into the board
ing house during the evening and gave
them the best spread of the season.
en- by the band this summer and closes
the series. That the band has we'll
earned the money voted them by the
town everybody comedies. That they
have given great deal of pleasure to
the people that has been thoroughly
appreciated by them is also fact that
does not require demon stration. st.
Johnsbury has good reason for the
pride it takes in it's band.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
McINDOES FALLS.

Two more men were arrested and
fined last week for intoxicatiOn and
disturbing the peace.
B. S. Simonds' little finger was am
putated Saturday. 1t is hoped to save
the other finger that was injured.
Fred Vancer has gone to Holderness
to finish his college preparatory course.
-Orrin SOmers has entered the uni
versity at Burlington.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-09-22
MIR. Titus Leaves the Ministry.

Charges of immoral conduct having
been made against the Rev. E. A. I'll
tus, of Somerville, Mass, he has re-
signed his passionate and left the min
istry. By this action he does not con-
Tess the truth of the charges but re-
CARDS it for the good of the church.
Mr.. Titus was formerly pastor of the
Methodist church in this place and is
highly esteemed. His many friends
believe him innocent of the charges.