Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-09-25
TELEPHONE TRIALS.
TROUBLE BROUGHT TO THOSE WHO TILL
UNTRUTHS.
The Telephone an Instrument Of Evil, Domestic
DsmOralizsr Friendships Wrecked by the
Demon in the Little Box.
pLiiadsiDhia NctrS.

which Is situated the long-dlstance tele-
phone, through whose aurieular you can
talk to friends in New York as easily as ii
they were sitting beside you.
Great drops of sweat bejeweled his
brow, and he bore the appearance Of q
man who had just pissed through severe
ordeal. He mopped his forehead with a
handkerchief and drew an audible sigh OF
relief.
''Hellom / exclaimed. What's the
matter? Too hot for you in that closet?'
''I've been talking to my wife in New
York, " he replied.
"Why, you must have had quite con-
jugal racket on the wire?" l said, laugh
ingly. Does talking with your wife al
ways produce this effect upon your
My broker friend looked at me sorrow
fully, and said: But for the telephone
would he much better man." gazed
upon him with surprise. 1t had never
been intimated to me before that the in
vention which Professor Bell has succeed
ed in mOnopOlizing was an instrument of
evil, domestic demOralizer.
l asked the New York man to explain
his meaning.
what | mean" said he, lis that the
cursed telephone can be so easily twisted
into an Internal liar that but for its con-
venient duplicity never would have been
tempted into deceiving the partner Of my
bosom. | had TO come TO Philadelphia
this morning / 50 informed my wife.
Il don't believe you, she said. 4 swear
swear it, | protested. Then she said,
with cold glitter in her once fond eyes:
The moment you arrive in that miserable
Quaker city 90 to a long distance telephone
and let me hear you talk over it to me.
And mind YOU she continued severely,
Il will take pains this time to find whether
you are really talking over the long-dis-
lance wire
so, you see, have been for ten minutes
i'll that swelterinG closet endeavoring to
convince my wife that am really i'll Phila-
delphia, and mighty hard task twas.
Every time NOW that | come over here |
will have 10 go through the same expert
epce, aud report my arrival by telephone,
"But," said, n cannot see from all
this that the telephone is ali instrument OF
deception. You afc certainly in PLila-
deiphia. There is no pretence about that.
The only conclusion ! can reach is that
your wife is an uurea7onably Jealous and
suspicious woman
All" said the broker, with sigh, IL
have not told yOu the reason for her cS.
pionage. | narrated ny story upside down,
| read you the conclusion Of my tale, but
not the preface Listen. In an evil hour
friend uniOlded to me the treacherOus
possibilities Of the lOug distance tele
phone.
"'YOu can tell youC wife he said, that
you are going to Philadelphia OH business,
90, say, the p. III. train. You stay in New
York that night and have rip tearing time
with the boys About p. m. however, You
90 to the telephone in my Office and cali NJ
the long distance man, and then tell him i
is mistake, and ask him to ring up your
wife. She gets the long distance fellow:
call, and Then you begin talking 70 her
Where are you, my lOve?' she will ask
aud you will answer, In Philadelphia
sweet. only wanted to let you know
that ! arrived safely And then we cal
have high old time, and no domestic
storm will follow
81 listened to the voice Of the tempter, ,
continued the broker, sadly. mot he
cause | wanted to have a time with the
boys, nor because ! wished TO deceive my
wife. But there was an insidious fascina
ton about the scheme. 1t seemed allur
iugly funny to talk from New York ant
make some one believe | was in Philadel
phia. ! agree 10 enter into the plan. /
was carried out successfully according t.
schedule up to certain point, but, alas
no further.
81 reported my safe arrival in Philadel
phia, and then abruptly rang the telephon,
of, and turned to my friend laughingly
all obligious Of what was going ON at thu
other end of the line BIT | found ou
later. 1t appeared that while had said
what had to say, my wife had not, ant
was about to convey to Ine the appalling
information that the baby had the collie
| when she suddenly found herself shut on
by my ringing the telephone off.
"YOu can only put q stopper on wo
mans tongue at long distance. That i
why the telephone will never he popula
with the sex"
"But she was determined TO tell me tn,
dreadful news, and so she called for til,
central Office and demanded that it SHOULD
Immediately get Philadelphia again. Sh,
was sarcastically informed that she haC
not been talking TO Philadelphia, and tina
her again was rather supertluOus. Sht
naturally inquired to where she had beer
talking, and she was, of course, given tn,
number of my friends telephone. o
course she hastily looked into the list o
telephone addresses, and there, Opposit,
the number given, she saw the name anC
office address of the man whose company
on our wedding eve | forswore. He is
tritle fast, you know.
well, l need hardly harass you will
the sequel to my tale. OF course the ca
was out of the bag, and when / returned
home the next day my reception was of {
nature so chilling that the marrow in ny
bones has not yet returned to its norma
temperature. Now do you wonder tina
my wife was difficult to convince of m,
presence here to-day, and that | feel as
do toward the cursed long-distance tele
phone?"
a companion who had heard this tai
through said, when the broker had con
cluded: THE telephone is not only
wrecker of homes, but it is a wrecker O
friendships. The other day long tim
friend called on me at my place of bust
ness. He lives in the country. / wa
glad to see him, and invited him to tax
dinner with me. He accepted, and | said
Il will inform my wife by telephone tina
you are about to honor us. She may wis
to make some preparation for your com
fort
81 stepped to the cursed thing and ran
for my house. AS was awaiting a reply
my friend said: What wonderful con
venience that instrument is. have neve
spoken over once, however. Can you hea
the voice distinctly
Just then l got my wife at the othe
end of the line, and when l informed he
of the contemplated visit turned to m
friend and said Put your ear here an
notice how distinctly you can hear the re
ply He did so. A change come over hi
counteaance. l thought it wss SURPRISE