The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-08-21
AMVNH yHs JE.,ER,.

Noah was doubtless the only man
who has ever seen full house on
nothing but pairs.-Lowell Citizen.
The Syracuse Herald very appro-
priately puts the weather indications
at the head of its numerous clip
pings.
Oh, dear, we knew it would come.
The poets have begun to immortal
ize" the Volunteer.-Philadelphia
Call.
j. G. Whittier's runaway step
daughter has gone South. Perhaps
she is looking for Barbara Frietchie.
chicago Herald.
1t is stated by a Davenport paper
that there is more time spent ir
reading novels in Iowa than there is
in raising corn"
The country is so full of pretty
city girls just now that farmers sons
have no inclination to leave the farm.
Philadelphia Call.
The first joke on KatkoF~ q
has come to hand and it isv
Lowell Courier says: 4
finally proved fatal" Next.
The ballet girls have brought suits
against the National Opera Com pauy.
Certainly the ballet girls ought to
have suits.--Lowell Courier.
A rather odd complaint against
some OF the summer resorts is that
they are too much infested with
human beings. "-Philadelphia Call.
Fourteen years ago a Milford, Del.
woman ran a needle into her foot
The other day, strange to say, i
came out just where il went in
Philadelphia Call.
Every man at some period of his
lite is an egregious fool, but by a wise
dispensation Of Providence no man
knows exactly when the time is
Junction City TEX Clipper.
A noted doctor says that onions
are the best nervine known. Itisn't
the man who eats the onions that .ex.
hibits nerve; it's the man who hob.
nobs with him.-Pbiladelpbia Call.
The poets say that love makes a
coward OF mau, but our friend
Pompano declares that the poets are
grossly in error. 1t is marriage that
does the business. - Philadelphia
Call.
A new member OF Congress de.
scribes himself in the official direct
DRY OF the House in this way: 81 am
six feet tall, weigh 2l0 pounds, have
soft, auburn hair, aud large blue
eyes" The darlingl
DO you keep bees?" asked the
summer boarder of the housed eeper.
II do 50 love the little things" mo
VIC don't keep bees. Guess you must
have heard pa garVling his throat in
the woodshed. It'd Bits.
Prot. Tyndall goes for Gladstone
again, red.eyed. The Professor is
author OF Heat Mode OF Motion. (,
lie should remember, however, that
heat is not a mode Of politics, and
send his collar to the refrigerator.
Ahem Boodler Mo6ariele was
prosecuted by Democratic district
attorney aud convicted before a
Democratic judge. But he was es-
corted to his bath by a Republican
sheriff. Perhaps this shows that
Republicans are friends OF personal
cleanliness.
Mr.. Blaine refuses TO 90 TO Spit.
head to see the review of the Brit
ish navy. He had frequently denied
that England had any navy 10 speak
OF compared to the one that Robe.
son built and the government sold
tor junk, and he did not propose TO
be diseDchanted.
Ii takes the foundation Of n big
hotel, a car load Of stakes 10 mark
lots with, a street railroad franchise,
Hume aud irrigation company and
an auction sale OF lots 20 make
town in Southern California. A
piece OF laud is also needed.-San
Francisco Chronicle.
Some gentlemen in indianapolis
tormented an election tally sheet
wit acid. An incident OF the chem
ical experiment was mt king some
candidates seem 10 have been elect.
ed when they were beaten. These
amateur chemists have therefore
been sent TO Jail. In this way does
Indiana discourage scientific inves-
tigation.
French Woman Cat Long Branch)
oh, We hat sooch fine time bath.
ing IN de otcean. M'sieur Brown,
he git me-vot you calls 'em-a Cos.
ling.
American Woman A gosling2
Why, a gosling is little duck.
French Woman-Zat is vat he elf
me-a leetle duck It'd Bits.
Although Louis Boyden was total.
ly blind Tor eighteen years before his
death at eighty. FIVE, "his sense OF
touch, says the Worcester Spy, was
developed TO a truly wonderful de-
gree. IL is said he could tell the dc.
nomination OF bill by feeling. and
that he planted, weeded aud cared
Tor his large garden entirely by him
self, and was never known to pull up
young plant for a weed"
do Garmo-"So you're all alone,
oh2p
Basom-"Yos the old lady aud
the girls have gone TO the soashore."
DE Garmo-"Will they be there
lopg2'
Basom-"I hope not. have very
encouraging reports as to the posi-
bility Of becoming tho father. in-law
OF a French marquis. There is
oothing like having a good barber in