The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-23
A Fault Finder.

From the Neic Orleans Times Democrat.
All husbands find fault with their meals
know this to nc true, because Mr..
Bowser says SO. think it nothing strange
when Mr.. Bowser sits down to his dinner and
begins:
"Humphl Same old corned beefn
eyes, my dear; it's the same corned
beef you ordered as you went down this
morning.
"Oh, it is! didn't know but it was some
ordered year ago! What do you call these
thingsm
Potatoes, of course"
Potatoes ehs III try and remember that
name. And what's this"
Cabbage, my love"
"Oh! didn't know but it was wood-pulp,
my love! Was this bread made since the
war;"
Certainly. 1t is only two days old"
'Huulph! Buying some poor coffee again.
/ sec! Look at that! That stuff looks as if il
was dipped out of n mud hole!"
But you ordered this very coffee yourself
only night before last"
He growls and oats, and cats and growls,
and I've got used to it, 1t is only now and
then that he proceeds to violence. The other
day he expressed his fondneSs for pumpkin
pie, and ordered the cook to make two or
three. We had one Brought on at supper,
and as soon as Mr.. Bowser saw it he Sternly
inquired
''What do you call that performance
there4 When was it born, and where is it
going tof'
MI. Bowser, you said you wanted some
pumpkin pie"
Yes"
'Well, here it is, and as good a one as you
ever ate; I made it myself, after mothers
favorite recipe
Mrs Bowser, do you call that pump
kin pic!'
II do, sir"
''Then | want to be branded fool! What
do you take lie for, anyways Don't you
suppose was eating pumpkin pies before
you were bornW
''Why isn't it pumpkin piel'
"Why isn't II bootleg boot? Where is
your other crllst!'
But pumpkin pies never have any upper
crust"
Don't they? Mrs. Bowser, you can de-
ceive the cook, for she is a confidng for
eigner, and you can stuff most any yarn
down our poor little baby, but don't try to
bamboozlc me. 1t won't work I'm glad for
your sake that my mother isn't here to laugh
at you"
In two days had aletter from his mother,
affirming that theIe, vas no upper crust to a
pumpkin pie, and | brought my own mother
over in the flesh as a further witness,
but what did Nh. Bowser do but loudly ex-
claim;
''Boshl You old women have forgotten
half YOU knew! You are thinking about
pudding and milk, YOU are. OF course there
Is TO upper crust to pudding and milk, ard
never said there was"
He cost me good girl last avee1
by ono OF his whins. | happened to wonder
aloud during the evening if she had put
her bread TO raise, when he promptly in
quirod:
Mrs. Bowser, do you know why bread
raises3"
Because Of the yeast"
But why does the yeast expand the
dough?"
because it does"
Exactly. You also live because you do,
and that's all you know about it, You ought
to be ashamed of your ignorance of natural
philosophy I'll see if the girl knows any
bettor.
he went out and inquired
Jane, have you put the bread to raise?'
Eyes, sir"
do you expect it to raise"
COZ course
why don't you expect it TO fallg"
care you running this kitchcnp she
sharply demanded.
Virtually, yes My object is to see
how well you are posted on natural philoso-
puY. w ny uOeo Tue DTCAu raise instead
of fallF'
Because it's fool, and Pm another for
staying in place where man is allowed 70
hen-huzzv about the kitchenl I'll leave i'll
the morningW
And leave she did, and all the consolation
/ got from Mr.. Bowser as he came up to
dinner was:
Its good thing she left. She might
have mixed some thing together which would
have caused our deaths Come, now, hurry
up the dinner
Mr.. Bowser has improved some in the
of taking care of the baby. can
now leave them together as lont; as fifteen
minutes without fear that ono viii kill the
other by trying some experiment. They had
been alone about seven minutes the other
day while | was upstairs, and when I came
down Mr.. Bowser seemed quite agitated and
whispered to me:
I've suspected it all along!'
"What"
"That our child is somewhat of mon
strosity. Look at thatm
And he pointed to a soft spot on
the child's head where throb could be
detected.
Every child has the same" replied in a
reassuring voice.
"Oh! they have, chi What infants asy-
lum have You been mntron OF! Perhaps |
married the mothe" instead OF the daugh-
teri / tell you that's a freak OF nature,
that is, and shan't be surprised to como
home any day and find ahorn beginning to
sprout.
How to Get Pass.