The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-07-14
The Merry Side !

The Merry Side!
"My work is DUMP said the Bank messenger.
Some admiring friend ought to send Grover a
Bntternut pin.
Blain in England is making good impress
ion-at home.
The boy who picks blackberries at ten cents q
gallon will get his reward in heaven.
-
The Rebel Flag matter is but another block
in the pyramid Of Democratic blunders.
-
The next field of Missionary labor will be the
starting of a Republican party in Texas.
Sam Jones will give exhibitions at the princi-
pal camp-meeting grounds In Ohio this Sum-
mer.
Cleveland's march to St. Louis was equal to
Vile.
Gid Dugan, an Indiana doggery-keeper. was
shot to death by Jim Clark, a drunkard. No
tears!
Disappointed Democrats should bear their
grief with fortitude. They Will be relieved from
anxiety year.
The North might make bargain with the
South-we'n bury the Bloody Shirt when you
bury eff Davis.
A mad-dog in Huntington bit twenty-five
other dogg, and all had to be shot. Oh, for such
dog in Jackson!
essity knew no law when in reality, the law
knew no necessity.
In Democratic parlance the battle flags are
now "Rebel Rags" All right, then of course
you don't want them.
man in Chicago got a divorce in three
weeks after marriage, "for sufficient reasons"
His wife played the accordion.
The locusts are destroying everything in Min
nesota. There's end to the troubles of a
Democratic Administration.
So
Tis said "the Ohio Democrats are in a des-
perate situation. Then they're happy! A DEM
ocratic politician just dotes on misery.
sss
Cleveland had apresentment that he oughtn't
to 60 to st. Louis. 1t came in the form of
cold chill, running up his back.
80
The President is afraid the boys would be en-
barrassed by his presence in st. Louis. Not a
bit of it. He would attract general and curious
attention.
The Waverly Watchman says "the Demo-
Gratis must stand by Cleveland" Well, a good
many of you stood by JEFF Davis-and got left.
s.s
The Cincinnati reporters trying to pump Dave
Armstrong will amuse Dawes friends
here. His mouth is as secure as a Bank vault
The man who assures you that his "dog won't
bite" never thinks that the good-dog liar will
occupy prominent place in perdition.
-
It is pretty hard to fathon the religion which
sings of love and Joy eternal-then fights about
peanut stand at a camp meeting.
-
They sold out an Uncle TOMS Cabin troupe
over in Indiana the 9th er day. The assets con-
sisted of ten plug hats and bulldog.
The Northern papers complain that no flags
were displayed at Atlanta, on the Forth. How
could there be, when Cleveland didn't send
their flags to them?
An old tom-cat in the west part of town eats
up every young cat he can find. His "yeowr
is something sublime. He's plumb full of i'd
dle-strings.
Harper says sit the Bank Examiner had staid
away, there would haye been no trouble"
Strange, why some people will be so inquisi-
tive.
John Gillespie, an escaped man from the
Athens Asylum, taken back last week, re-
marked that he was "not going to stay atthat
place, because they were all lunatics up there"
-
If they made as much racket on the first
Fourth of July in this Republic as they did on
the last one-no wonder the were permitted to
go.
One of Loomis' objections to Morris Sharp is
that he urges men to be religious Don't you
think man can be Christian and vote the
Republican ticket?
The frequency of church festivals and picnics
will hurry up many a wedding. The young
man can shut off the supply of ice cream better
after they married.
G. A. R. Posts should not march past the
White House until after the walls are padded.
The calf might become frightened and hurt
itself.
The Richmond Enquirer, of October 1864, said:
"We have two enemies to contend with in the
VaIley-Gen. Sheridan, and Apple Brandy"
Rebel Gen. Rosser carried the Brandy-under
his vest.
A party of prospectors discovered several
mummies in a cave in the Sierra Madres a few
days ago. Several more Republican office-hold-
ers will have to 60, now.
-
Yam Phou Lee, a Chinaman, has married and
settled down as journalist in New Haven.
There'll be a rush of compositors from that
town to the Asylum for the Insane-especially
| if Yam wri tes his notes in his native language.
Maria Halpin was married a few days ago, 10
man named Secord. Cleveland didn't give
| the bride away. He had given himself away
so often he was sick of it.
80
'sRing out, sweet beils!" is the way the news
papers generally head wedding notices. And
the sweet bells always do-dinner-bells, cow
bells, and tin horns.
Abraham Columbia offered his son Isaac
| Cleveland for sacrifice. At the supreme mo-
ment Abraham looked around, and behold, q
Dru M, fastened in a thorn bush, ready for the
sacrifice. But Abe whacked the knife into Ike.
There is young man naneo Loomis' oNeA "'
Marietta who has achieved considerable noto-
| riety as a special on the Commercial Gazette.
Their regular liars couldn. fill the bill.
They have a collection in Washington Illus
trating the habits and character of "pre-historic
man." Ifhe wasn't any better than the cur
rent type, we'd better let him sleep in peace
| The Treasurer of Perry County, 1ndtana-a
Democrat-lit out, but they found the contents
| of the vault all safe. They consisted of three
two-cent stamps, and pair of suspenders.
Speaking of drunkards, one learned man
says: "Let them kill themselves. 1t is Nature
killing off the weak-the httest will survive"
Then what will you say about the old soakers
who are picked with whisky for seventy