davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
III Deserved Fame.

Omaha Husband We'll, | told you my
friend De Grand was II wonderful man. Now
what do gu thin; OF him!
Omaha Wife Hes Il fool,
"Fooll Why he j, one OF The most famom
scientists Of the day"
"IIe's horn idiot"
GLOW can you tall, sni'
"IIe thought this precious little treasure
was a hoy aud she's most a month old y
Unau World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Inhnrh. Ii SlinnIh.

II notice, said clergymans wife to her
husband that it is no longer fashionable for
the minister 10 kiss the brisle at the wedding
ceremony
"Ycs,n sadly RESPONDED the good man,
"maIy Of tile pleasant features connected
with the wedding ceremony have been de-
graded, and"----
"What's that" demanded his wife, omin.
onsly.
al mean-I mcan," he stammered, 'thgt
the scnsclese custom of kissing the bride
should have been abolished long ago An
the Year Round
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
WEEKLY CONTENTS:

WEEKLY CONTENTS:
An elaborate digest of all the news of the
week. Good original stories from the best
authors. Special articles on interesting topics.
The Farm and Garden Department, season.
able and edited by practical farmer.
The Helping Hand devoted exclusively to
the interests of women in their household
work, literary culture, social advancement
and entertainment.
Outings and Innings, caters to the pure
and healthful entertainment of yonug people
of both sexes in every station of life.
The Market Reports come from every i'm.
pOrtant commercial centre and may be relied
upon as absolutely correct up tc the hour Of
going to press.
The War Articles that have attracted So
much attention for their interest and accura-
cy will be continued Throughout the coming
year.
A SAMPLE COPY FREE
OF both the WEEKLY PRESS and its mag.
niicent Premium List will be sent to any
address upon application. Be sure you are
getting the most and the best for your money
before you subscribe. Address
THE PRESS CO. Limited
Philadelphia,
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28

Additional Trains,
On SATURDAY only, will leave Dupont Station at
LOO and 7.C2 p M, Newbridge at l.2O and lis p. M
for Wilmington and all intermediate points.
French Creek Branch Trains,
Leave Springfield IL 10 am, and 20 M on weeks
days, and 9.l3 m on Sundays.
Arrive St Peters II 40 a. m, and so IN on week.
days, and IS a on Sundays.
For connections at Wilmington, Chadd's Ford
Junction, Lenape, Coatesville, Waynesburg Juno.
tion, Btrdsboro, and Reading, see timetable at all
stations,
A. G. MCCAUSLAND, + Is HIBBARD
Shperntendent. Gen. Pas. Agent.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
When to BE Careful,

III a small town ont west an ex-county
judge is cashier of the bank
"Thc check is all right, sin" lie said to
stranger, "but the evidence you offer in
Identifying yourself as the person 10 whose
order it is drawn is scarcely sufficient"
i've known you to hang a man on less evi
dence, judge" was thu strangers response.
Quite likely" replied the ex-judgc, shut
when it comes TO letting so of cold cash we
have to he careful. New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
A PitiabIe Tale.

Omaha Lousekeeper-What! Ice at such
price after the winter we've been throughl
Humble Ice Man-It was very hard win.
Ter for folks in the ice business, mum.
why, the thermometer was way below
freezing point the whole time"
Yes, mum. The ice froze so hard that it
most bankrlpted US keepin' the saws sharp
Omaha World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Umpire and Strikes,

Mrs Bagley-Aurelia, you had better hide
that millincr's bill, and I'll try to shave
enough Off the grocer's bill to pay it, Your
paw is greatly worried over his business af-
fairs.
AurelitV-Oh, maw you don't mean to say
he's going to fail!
Mrs Baglcy-I know nothing for certain,
but last night l heard him talking in his
sleep about being robbed by man named
Umpire and about the men going out on
strikes, and ] fear the worst. Philadelphia
Call
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Heroic Treatment.

The cashier of a Chinese bank tried to leave
with the funds for Japan or some place
on the American plan the other day, but it is
not believed that the custom will become
popular. The government walled up the
cashier in a cell to starve to death and
chopped off the heads of all his family. And
next fall they are going to decapitate every
body in the empire bearing his name. Dakota
Roll
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
An Optical DelusIon.

British Naval Oificer--I have heard good
deal about your American torpedoes, but
never saw one before.
American Naval Oflicer-You have better
eyes than have if you can see one now
"There is one Off starboard; you must be
near sighted"
war"-Omaha World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
A Fair Valuation.

Lawyer Ito clienb-You want to sue Rob
iilson for $500 for libel, you say2
Client Yes; lie has blasted my character
forever.
Lawyer You think $500 the proper
amount
Client-Well, make it $3.50. only want
what's right.-HaIper's Bazaar
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Not IntrInsicalIy prohnhIn.

He had taken her to hear Patti at s. a seat,
and afterward to Delmonico's, where tho two
together ate up S0.75 worth As he reached
for his hat later that same night, she said
81 am sorry, Mr.. Sampson, if my refusal
will cause you pain. | esteem you highly as
an escort, and in that capacity | will always
be sister to you, but your wife cannot be.
You are too eXtravagant, New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
A Bad Foot.

Nellie was invited to spend long day with
Cora. She came home within an hour
Why Nellie, why do you come hack so
soonl'
"Well, you see, Cora was real mean, and
and pretty soon my foot went right out at
her and tney said might come home "-Ex-
chnnpa
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
nncmntic rhiInsnnhy.

l.ayman- So you believe in the infallibility
OF tile pope, do you!
Churchman--l think there is much in the
doctrine that is commendable. have noticed
that many of the utterances of his holiness
agree with my own.--Ilowell Citizen
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
RecnnclIed to enc nors.

She goes to school and she belongs to an
educational family of prominence, who have
lately moved from San Francisco for official
convenience, so she has had to go to a new
school, The first day she found that, con.
trary to her experience, boys and girls We're
together in this school. That offended her,
and when she went home she complained
Mamma, that's not a good school. DOM
think I'll like TO go there" "WhyT "Thers
are boys and girls all together there. 1t isn't
Pleasant "Well, my dear, try it a little,
any way" The next day she came home in
better humor. "Do you like the new school
any betteri' ~Oh, yes, mother. The teacher
has put the loycliest little boy next to me.
He's a lovely little boy. think | shall like
the school," The third dayshe came home in
the widest of spirits, beaming all ever: "Oh,
mammal know all the boys in the school
nowl" This is one of those stories that good
mothers like TO read, SO | am told, and I've
no reason TO doubt it.-San Francisco Chrou-
fcla
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
WIILMI,N'IGToN I, 'I(l 3 NORTHERN RAIL

p. & II. Station $40 O.4O l32 90 OO......... ll.i5
Additional Trains,
On SUNDAY only, will leave Springfield at
i2Opm Birdsbora i52Ip m and Reading 25 p m
onSATURDaY onlv, win leave Wilmington at IL is
p. M for Newbridge, Dupont, and all inteImsd
late points.
French Creek Branch Trains,
Leave 81. Peters G.5Oa.m and 1878 PIN VIC uk.da,s
and S.55 p IN on Sundays
Arrive springheld7 25 m. and 100, pm on week
days and 1 II on Sunday,
GOING SOUTH, DAILY Except sunday.)
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Extorting Money.

Leader (of little German band)-A few pen
nies, madame, for dot fine mlisicl
Woman lat a window)--An't got nothin
for you.
Leader Indignantly Watts dot? Ven you
don'd give few pennies ve blay some more
New York Sun,
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
1t Is GcnernIIr Thus.

The Rev Mr. Highflyer-I delivered that
sermon offhand. hadn't given it a mo-
ments thought How did you like it. Frank
HearCr-l can't say. You see, l didn't give
it momeats thought, either. Unidentified.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Compliments Of the Season.

"Sir," exclaimed iate Mrs. Blifiins, as She
gathered her skirts about her, 81 told you TO
stop at this crossing. What do you mean by
carrying me byf Ill give you TO understand
that I'm Mrs. Blitlns."
"AI, very happy tomeet you, Mrs. Bliffins,
I'm Tom johnson. The Judge.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
What II May Come To.

Invalid Gretfully, TO his nurseJ--What il
that internal row in the other room' Is any
body getting killed! Who is that calling for
the police'
Nurse heassuringlyl--Oh, don't mind that,
sir It's Mrs. DR.. Pellets, Miss DR.. Calomel
and Nine DIR. juniper holding a consulta-
ton, sir.--New York Mail.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28
Weekly Press
THE BEST OF
METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPERS
Only ST 90 Per Year.
THE MOST LIBERAL AND VARIED PRE-
MUM LIST EVER BEFORE OFFERED.
FAVORABLE COMBINATIONS WITH ALL THE
POPULAR LITERARY AND CLASS
PERIODICALS,

THE WEEKLY PRESS is printed ID
bold clear type. 1t is staunchly Republican
in politics.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-05-28

1t is so light that a child can run it,
So qniet that it will not interrupt an ordin-
AIRY conversation.
So durable that it Il ia t, with care, a
life time.
1t is adiustible 50 that all lost motion can
be taken up.
1t has the best wood worh-the best and
most durable ever made.
The attachments can be placed on in a seq-
ond without the lse of the tbumb-screw or
screw driver.
Every attachment works perfectly and can
be used with case by any one.
Its reputation is far above the average.
No ono is asked to buy until they are
thoroughly satisfied as TO its merits.
Every machine is guaranteed as repre-
sented or money is refunded.
Do not make mistake, have no other,
thy it, and be convinced, If it is not all that
you want in a sewing machine do not buy IL.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Sizing Up Our SOl0ns.

An old.timer "sized up" the Iegis-
lature pretty we'll when he said:
"They first started in to cinch the
railroads, bat there was no response,
and the bill dropped; they went after
the saloon-keepe1s- not squeal from
them; then they fooled with illegal
cohabitation, but the Mormons tn ought
they couldn't be worse II than they
are now and didn't respond worth a
cent ; finally they hit on division, and
came mighty near striking ile-in
fact, they got to the grease, but there
wasn't any more than enough to cover
their boots. Guess these fellows will
think that it don't pay to go to the
Legislature.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Brace Up.

You are feeling depressed, your appe-
tite is poor, you are bothered with head
ache, you are tidgetty, nervous, and gem
orally out of sorts, and want to brace up.
Brace up, but not with stimulants, spring
medicines, or bitters, which have for
their basis very cheap, bad whisky, and
which stimulate you for an hour, and
then leave you in worse condition than
before. What you want ia an Alternative
that will purify your blood, start healthy
action of liver and kidneys, restore youi
vitality, and give renewed health ano
strength. Such Il medicine you will fine
in Electric Bitters, and only 80 cents
bottle At J. A. Rupert's drug store.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
WHAT Is INSIDE THE EARTH
Proposed Investigation at the Govern
ment's Expense.

A very peculiar bill has been in
troduced in the lower house of Con-
gress, but though peculiar, it may be,
for some reasons, very proper bill
and one that ought to pass. The
New York Sun recently gave the de-
tails of the measure, which provides
that Board of Army Engineers shall
supervise the work of boring hole
through the crust of the earth, or as
deep as drill can be made to pene-
trate, for the purpose of finding out
what is inside of the earth. The sum
of 100000 is to be appropriated to
cover the expense of commencing the
work, and tract of land four miles
square is to be selected as a site of
the proposed operations.
One of the sections of the bill con-
tains the following provision: "That
the Secretary of War shall make a
report to the Fiftieth Congress show
ing the progress of the boring up to
the date OF the report, together with
the views Of the Board as to the depth
to which, with mechanical instru,
ments and appliances at their com
maud, it can be carried; and that the
estimates submitted by the War De
partment for the ensuing year shall
include an estimate for the amount
necessary to prosecute the work dur
ing the fiscal year ending June 80
1899" From this closing clause it IL
evidently contemplated that the worn
shall he prosecuted as far and as long
as practicable with the means and ma
chinery that it may be possible to pro
vide. The progress of the expert
ment, if the bill becomes a law, vii
be watched with the greatest interest
not only hy scientific men, but by in
telligent people generally, who desir
to find out what composes the interio
of the globe on which we !ive.-Port
land (Or.) Telegram.
Congress had better expend tn
money on the Comstock, as it ca
there start from the 3300-level--
0 depth which it would require years
attain from the surface anywhere els
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
AIR AND GAS.
A New Process Of Furnishing Fuel and
Light Tor Less than the Cost Of the
Electric Light.

A New Process Of Furnishing Fuel and
Light Tor Less than the Cost Of the
Electric Light.
The American Gas Light and Heat
Con pany, which has been in success
full operation in Phiiadelp hia during
the past two years, having demon
stra,ed its ability to supply fuel and
light at comparatively small cost, is
ready to enlarge its operations so as
to supply its process wherever wanted.
The company is organized to furnish
heat aud light to dwelling houses in
cities and towns, and to manufacture
ing aud other large establishments.
There Is no danger, it is claimed, and
no smell incident to the use of the
process.
The plant of the company consists
of the Newell patented gas bench
which is simple and cheap in con,
struction and inexpensive in opera
ton. and unaccompanied by expensive
adiuncts. The material furnished fol
combustion and lighting consists O.
hydro carbon gas mixed with 1Ot
times the quantity of atmospheric air
The gas is made from crude petro
leum alone, and the company claims
that it goes third further than an,
other coal gas, giving a pure whit
and exceedingly bright light. Tn
fuel requires no coal, coke, or othe
admixture, and not only does no
burn or destroy the iron or steel wit
which it comes in contact, but actual
improves it. No smoke stack {
I chimney is required, as no draft
, needed. There is no expense i
hauling material for combustion, nc
for taking away ashes. The cost {
' the furnace or stove is but one event
that of most furnaces required
/. produce and maintain an equal degre
J, OF heat.
The light produced by this con
pany is of two kinds-one by which
platinum wire gauze is heated to tt
point of incan 1escence; the other
that made by combustion, like bur
$ ing coal gas. he first is called II
$ Benninghoff Incandescent Sun Ligt
with which no shade nor globe
used, and which is unaffected by viii
y or rain. The combined air and G
y for this is conveyed through the san
IS pipe to produce this light and heat t
IS dwellings.
;. The heat and light can be used +
p all domestic purposes.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
LOCAL JOTTINGS.

Fine bar goods at Hendricks.
rW- Blank Proofs of Labor for
sale at this Office.
Get your Gem Roller Mill Flour at
tho l. F. Co.'S store.
Only one more day of the Idaho
Legislature. Thank Heaven, for that!
Hay and grain of every description
at the Idaho Forwarding Company's
store.
Lund & Anderson, the tailors, have
moved to their fine new quarters In
krieg's block.
A lot of stall-fed cattle and sheep,
of their own feeding, just received
from Fish Creek, by James 4 Har-
rington.
Settle bet ween now and March LIST, CT
1 will place all accounts In the hands Of
Kingsbury & McGowan, for collection.
Feb. 8, 1887. E. H. HENDKICK.
Our large Illustrated Catalogue fol
Spring aud Summer, 1887, is now in
the publishers hands. We shall com
mence distributing about March LIST
Mailed free, Send in your names
Address: Red House Trade Union
Sacramento, Cal. teo-ow
Silver in New York to-day. $l.0l
and unrettled Lead, IL so. Woo
River shipments having been discon
t'nued since the first Of the year ow
ing to the Inter State commerce bill
the price of lead shoald enhance, a
the stock on hand must be limited.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
A STORY on SENATOR FAIR,
Which Is Very Plausible, Though Not
strictly True.

Eastern newspaper correspondents
are telling a story on Senator Fair
which will cause old Idahosns to
smile. Here it is:
Mr.. Fair is a very peculiar man.
Although he is uneducated, yet he
gave his physicians lesson one day
in surgery which surprised them. A
number of years ago, when Mr.. Fair
was engaged in active superintend.
ence of mining properties, he directed
the boss in one of his mines to have a
wrought iron crank made at Il certain
angle. This foreman told him that it
was impossible. Mr.. Fair then went
into the works at the mouth of the
mine, put on a workman's apron and
cap, and began the work of making
the crank himself at the angle which
he had described. The foreman in
charge of that room, coming around,
saw a workman, as he supposed, DISC
beying orders and wasting property
by trying to make what had already
been declared to be an impossibi!ity.
He picked up a piece of iron and
knocked the amateur workman down
just as he was completing the piece of
work which his foreman had said was
impossible. This blow fractured Mr.
Fairs skull, and his life was saved
only through trepanning.
After he had recovered, Mr.. Fair
felt very uncomfortable. He felt
symptoms of brain trouble. After
a time he went back to the surgeon
and said:
81 am certain that this job was not
we'll done. There is a splinter left
IN that wound--I can feel the prick
of it,"
The surgeon at first would not heed
Mr.. Fair. But he insisted on having
it done over again. .
The surgeon then discovered that
there was a splinter, and that if the
Senator had not himself discovered
the cause of his trouble his brain
would have been affected in short
time beyond the hope of recovery.
The story is very plausible one
but it is not true. Here are the
facts: In the early sixties, Mr.. Fail
was experimenting a mine and mil
at Flint, near Silver City, Owyhet
county, Idaho. One day he had oc
casion to discharge millwright, wht
determined to get even. Procuring
heavy spoke from an old wagon
wheel, the man laid in ambush, ant
when, about 7 o'clock the next morn
ing, Mr.. Fair was about to enter tn
mill, the man struck him a blow Of
the head which came near provin!
fatal
Mr.. Fair is a thorough mechanic
however, and really E0ows more G
the relative strength of materials tina
many a much better educated mar
He is really superior man, VIII
would have made his mark in an
line of business; but he is not popu
lar, because rather too cynical, ant
possibly, too greedy or "elose-6sted.
He still feels the effects of the famor
blow on the head inflicted by til
vengeful millwright.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
VICTORIOUS AGAIN!
ALTURAS CONES OUT WHOLE, WITH
FLYING COLORS.

Ch0 mCCsS ''PVOuAnVOiS AAVnA AAVAASD
Traitors from Her Midst, Enemies
from Abroad, and the Boise Ring
from Ada, and Downs the Whole
Caboodle!
The suspense is over at last! We
have won the fight, and shall not be
divided. Old Alturas remains whole,
and can make a united stand against
her enemies. Our taxes can now be
reduced at once, and annual reduc-
tons made until the rate shall be re-
duced below that of any other county
in the Territory.
The House Committee or Counties
and County Boundaries reported last
night. They were unanimously OF
the opinion tina. Alturas should not be
divided at present. The committee
consists of Messrs. Clough of Lemhi
who has always been a staunch friend
of Alturas, Rohrer, and Burnett
| The latter is a resident Of Alturas
and has been maligned. 1t was
stated that he was one Of the rene
gades who, after solemnly pledgine
their honor against division, had beer
corrupted by the divisionists. Hi
vote in committee shows that he wa
at least true to his pledge.
The report was handed in las
evening and accepted. Immediatel.
after roll-call to-day a motion wa
made TO reconsider. This motion wa
at once defeated by vote Of Is to
According to parliamentary law
which probably prevails even in a
Idaho Legislature, the same bill can
not be again reconsidered this session
We are therefore safe, no matter whs
may be done in the Council,
The TINES congratulates the peopI
of Alturas on the vi 10 achieve
) over the Boise ring and the few spec
ulators who would have been benz
flied by division. If the county of
Gals only do their duty now, b
keeping expenses within prope
bounds we can make such a shown,
: two years hence, that no resident {
Alturas will desire, nor outsider dal
; ask for, a division.
Aud as to Haley, the brighte
Jewel of the Gem of the Mountain
s she behaved nobly. For the fir
Il time, perhaps, since the county SCI
e fight, she pulled call together" Wi
the success that usually crowns unite
t and well-directed effort.
n Let this victory teach us that OF
. only safety is in concerted action
IS anything that concerns the good
- the town; that Omitted, we stand
J. divided, we fall"
Il
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Doing the Canada "Gag."

He was a hasty traveller;
A carpet bag he bore:
His face was closely shaver,
And blue spsctacles he wore.
He tarried at the window
Where they railway tickets sell,
But the place to which he'd journey
To the clerk he would not tell.
Then to him the clerk said blunty:
"Sir, you must not tarry here
If you wish to buy no ticket"
Said the other: Bank cashier!'
Then the clerk replied: six dollars,"
And without the least delay
Gave the customer a ticket
Ger the line to Canada.
-tBoston Courier.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09

SHILOH'S COUGH and Con-
sumption Cure is sold by us on a
guarantee. 1t cures Consumption.
For sale at Tracy's Drug Store.
THE REV. GEO. II. THAYER,
of Bourbon, Ind, says: "Both my
self and wife owe our lives to SHI.
LOH'S CONSUMPTION CURE
For sale at Tracy's Drug Store.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Obstacles TO Marriage.

Happy relief from Excuses in early
youth. Nervous debility and all
Chronic special diseases cured by the
New Treatment. Obstacles to mar
riage removed. Books, Circulars and
Reports sent free in sealed envelopes
Address
HowARp ASSOCIATION, PHILApEL
PHIA, PA. je23m6d&w
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Bucklpn's Arnica Salye.

The best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Cores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Fruptions.
and positively cures Piles. or no pay re-
CURED. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction, or money refunded. Price,
rs cents a box. For sale by j. A. Rupert
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09

No other medicine is so reliable as
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral for the core Of
coughs, colds, and all derangem-nts
of the respiratory organs. 1t relieves
the asthmatic and consumptive, even
in advanced stages of disease.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-02-09
Bal. Of New Eng., MI,753.

Mrs. J. T. RITCHEY (562 4th Ave.
Louisville, ky.) was q confirmed
anpdIid for elcren gears, just
living, and hourly expecting death.
Was confined to bed ten months each
year. Was attended by the best 1,hU-
sicians. Her left side was para
lvsed. Could neither eat, sleep, nor
enjoy life. The doctors said she was
troubled with female complaints;
but she was satisfied her kidneys
were affected. Under the operation of
Warmers SAFE Cure she passed a
large stone or calculus, and in Nov,
1885, reported, Am to-day as aoett
asaUhen u girl"