The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-10-30

midst Charles in tho middle between Caroline
that, as usual. No and were
the only takers. Caroline amusing herself
by observing birds and squirrels as she walked
dociley alongside her betrothed. Having no.
ticed this. / dropped behind at the first oppor-
tunity and slipped among the trees, in q direc-
ton in which knew should find another path
that would take home Upon this track
by and by emerged and walked along it in silent
thought, till at bend suddenly encountered
NJ. de la Heste, standing stock still and smiling
thouchtfully at me.
t.Where Gardiner? said l.
'Only little way off," says he. when we
missed you from behind US We thought You
might have mistaken the direction we had fol-
lowed. she has gone one way to find you and
have come this way.
We then went back to find Caroline, but could
not discover her anywhere, and the upshot
that he and were wandering about the woods
alone for more than an hour On reaching
home we found she had given up after search
ing little while, and arrived there time
before / should not be so disturbed by the in
cident if had not perceived that. during her
absence from u.s. he did not N AXE any earnest eff
fort TO rediscover her; and in answer to
my repeated expressions of wonder to whittier
she could have wandered. he only said: .'Oh,
she's quite safe; she told me she knew the way
home from any part of this wood. Let 60 on
with our talk. / Assure you / value this priv
ilege of being with one l so much admire more
than you imagine" and other things of that kind.
/ was so foolish as to show little perturbation
/ cannot tell why did not control myself; and
think he noticed that not cool. Caroline
has. with her simple good faith. thought nothing
of the occurrence; yet. altogether, was not
satisfied.
Weir SITUATION IS A TRYING ONE.
May 15.-The more I think Of it day after
day, the more convinced am that my suspi-
cions are true. He is TOO interested In Newell.
in pi ain words. loves me; or. not to degrade that
phrase. has wild passion for me; and his affec-
ton for Caroline is that towards a sister only.
hat 10 tha n i2tra ain0 frnfh. no
about cannot tell, and it wears upon me.
A hundred little circumstances have revealed
this to me. and the longer dwell upon it the
more agitating does tho consideration become.
Heaven only can help me out Of the terrible
difficulty IN which this places me. have done
nothing to encourage him TO be faithiess to her.
persistertly refused to be third in their inter
views. Yet all to purpose. Some fatality
has seemed to rule, ever since he came to the
house. that this disastrous inversion of things
should arise. If had only foreseen the posi-
biity of it before he arrived. how gladly would
have departed on some visit or other to any
apparent treachery. But l blindlv welcomed
him-indeed, made myself particularly agree
able to him for her sake.
There is no possibility of my suspicious being
wrong: not until they have reached absolute
certainty have | dared even to admit the truth
to myself His conduct to-day would have
proved them true had entertained no previous
apprehensions Some photographs of myself
came to me by post and they we're handed
round at the breakfast table and criticised
put taem temporarily on side table, and did
not rsnemb Der them until an hour afterwards.
when l was in my own room. On going to fetch
them, I discovered him standing at the table
with his back towards the door bending over
the Photographic. one OF which he raised to his
lips.
The witnessing this act SO frightened me that
| crept away to escape observation 1t was the
climax to a series of slight and significant
tions ali tending to the@same conclusion. The
question for me now is, what am l to do? To
go away is what first occurs to me- but what
reason can / give Caroline and my father for
such step. Besides. it might precipitate some
of catastrophe by driving Charles TO des
paratiou. For the present, therefore. l have
decided that only wait though his CONT
guilty is strangely disturbing to me now. and
hardly retain strength of mind to encounter
him. How will the distressing complication
endl
Nav 19-And so it has come! Ny mere avoid
ance of him has precipitated the worst Issue-a
declaration. l had occasion to go into the
kitchen garden to gather some of the double
rag ged robins which Grow IN corner there. AL
most a as had entered | heard foot
steps without. The door opened ana closed.
and turned to behold him just inside it. As
gardener absent, the spot insured absolute
privacy. He came along the path by the aspar-
aeus bed, and overlook me.
.You know why l come Alciap said he in a
tremnlous voice.
l said nothing and hung my head. for by mis-
tone did know.
1eS. ne went on, III Is you 1 l0V0 MY SEN
ii ment towards your sister is one of affection.
too, but protective, tuselary affecton-no more
Say what you will, / cannot help it. / mistook
my feeling for her. ana know how much /
to blame for my want of self knowledge 1
have fought against this discovery night and
day. but it cannot be concealed. Why did
ever see you. since could not SEQ you till had
comm tilted myself At the moment my eyes
behed you that day of nv arrival / said,
This is the woman for whom my manhood has
waited Ever since, an understandable fascina-
has ty I'D hAoRt f<Nx Amos
word!'
90 NJ de la Heste,' burst out. What said
more cannot remember, but suppose that the
misery l was in showed pretty plainly, for he
said, something must be done to let her know;
perhaps have mistaken her affection, too; but
all depends upon what you feel
II cannot tell what fell" said /. Except that
this seems terrible rreachery; and every moment
that | stay with you here makes it worse!
Try to keep faith with her-her young
heart is tender believe me, there IS no mistake in
the quality of her love for you. Would there
were! This would kill her if she knew it.
He sighed heavily. She ought never to be
my wife" he said Leaving my happi-
ness out OF the question, it would be a cruelty
to her to unite her to me-"
/ said l could not hear such words from him,
aud begged him in tears tn go away. He obeyed,
and heard the garden door shut behind him
What is TO be the end of the announcement. and
the fate of Carolinea
MAY 20.-I put d good deal paper yester-
day, and yet not all. was. in truth, hoping
against hope. against conviction. against too
conscious self Judgment. l scarcely dare own
the truth now ye. 1t relieves my aching heart
dreadful fact and I can no longer parry, evade
or deny 1t myself. though to the rest OF the
world It never be owned. I love Carolines
and he loves me. 1t is no yesterdays
passion cultivated by our converse. It came at
first sight. independently of my will; and my
talk with him yesterday made rather against it
than for it, but, alas did not quench it. God
forgive lis both for this terrible treachery.
May %. ALI is vague our courses shapeless.
He comes and goes being occupied, ostensiby
at least with sketchng in his tent in the wood.
Whether he and she each other privately
cannot tell: but rather think they dc not; that
she sadly awaits him. and he does not appear.
Not sign from him that my repulse has done
him any good, or that he will endeavor to keep
faith with her. Oh, if I only had the compul-
sion of god and the self sacrifice of martyr!
May 31.-It has all ended-or rather this act
Of the sad drama has ended-in nothing He
has left US. No day for the fuflment of the
en- gagement with Caroline is named, my father
not being the man to press any one such