The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
Hon. Shackenback Johnson Dis
cusses the Fisheries Question.

81 desiah to infom de members dat
we hev visitor this eavenin' in the
pusson of the Hon. Shackenback John
son." said the President as the meeting
opened. "He has arrove heah from
Halifax to address US on the fisheries
dispute, an from what 1 hev seen of
him l ar satisfied that he ar a states
man with large breath of stomach an
huddle of brains placed whar they
will do the most good. He designs to
reamin heah seberal days, an | would
obSarve dat any OBJ de members who
lend him money mus do it at der own
peril. His watch chain may have a
watch at the end of it or it may not.
De $50 bank bill which he exhibits on
certain occasions may be all right or de
bank may hev busted vars ago. We
will treat him wild courtesy becase he
halls from friendly kentry, but when
it goes beyand dat l should advise you
to take security. De statesman will
now be bruns in"
The Hon. Shackentack proved to be
a very black and polished gentleman of
great breadth of beam. being about Is
years of age, built after the ancient
style of architecture, and having voice
which reminds one of woman trying
10 sing bass. He was formally intro
duced, and when he had made his bow
he began:
My frens, am quite oberrun by dis
unexpected pleasure. l invited myself
heah dis eveanin' to address you on a
subject of deepest interest to boat de
United States an Canada. l would
also menshun dat am mabia' a grand
farewell tour of de United States at de
present time to sell my excelsior soap.
which is used for cleanin' tlnware an
remOvin' tar an grease. II not found
as represented de money will be re-
funded. Ten cents cake or three for
quarter, an doan' buy no odder.
Now, in de fust place, de Lawd made
fish. He made 'em long bout de time
Adam an Eve war driv' GUITAR de
garden. He made 'em to swim in de
lakes, an rivers an seas, an for mans
use. 1t was de iutenshun dat any man
could catch fish anywhar' he wanted TO.
Den Columbus he come ober heah an
diSkibered America. an arter awhile de
Yankees took de United States an de
British took Cana6y. De fish was in
creasin' all de time, an nobody pre-
tended to own 'em.
IF anybody wanted to go out befo'
breakfast or arter breakfast an catch
fish dere was nobody to say word.
(Great applause.(
''Afl of a.sudden somebody got mad.
Cen somebody else got mad. Dey for
got ali bout dat de Lawd made de fish,
an de Yankee he said he owned EN-
all. An de Kanuck he said the Yankee
was liar. Excitement, during which
Whalehone Howker kicked Trustee Pull
back, Den dey boat went home mad
an begun to pass laws. De Yankee
said de Kanuck shouldn't sell his hsh in
de United States onless he paid a
big dooty, an de Kanuck said
de Ysnkee shouldn't fish widin
three miles of his sho' nohow. Dey
made up faces at eacn odder an day
kept gittin' madder all the time, and
finally de biler busted. (Excitement.)
Dat ar, they begun to pitch in, an at
de present date de two kentries heV spit
on DER hands an dared each odder TO
fight. (Great uprOar, during which
Samuel Shin hit Stepback Taylor on the
neck.)
My frens," continued the speaker,
after swallowing a large quantity of
water and hopping off his forehead,
"de sta1t of affairs am shameful. We
are two sets of children by de same
fadder. ODER thar in Canady we want
Yankee plug terbacker, poker chips,
pink-culfed suspenders, con saiyes an
lack-knives. On dis side you want our
produce an good will. Oar am kentry
huff for all of us. Oar ar mo- fish dan
we all know what to do wild. Why, sab.
l kin go out an sit down on the dock
at ST. Johns any day in the summer
an git six bites right along widout
spittin' on my bait, an | reckon
it de same anywhsr long de New Eng.
land coast. (Sensatiop.) l hev come
ober hear to see If this queshun can't be
! settled widout war. hev not been to
Congress nor to de State Legislachurs,
nor hev / interviewed de leading states
men. l hev come directly to dis Lime
kiln CLUB to lay de matter befo' you an
ask you to consider it in all its phases
gets her back up muffin but brick bat
will take it down. When a nashun gifts
| it's back up it mus be argued wild. De
| Kanuck am not bad man. De Yankee
am a irst-raie Teller. Dey has simply
had a leetle fallin' out about gwine
| fshin', an as matter of pride neither
one wants to give in. De result am dat
| de two kentries ride down hill on de
same hand-sled.
"What ak of dis Lime-kiln Club ar >
to take hold of dis queshun an settle it
to de satisfaxiun OF boat parties. It
can be did, an de club kin do it, an
when de harp strings OF peace once mo
echo DER glad chords ober all America
your reward shall be great. (Cheers).
In conclushun, L would remark dat my
Excelsior Con SalVe has bin used in all
climates an by all classes OF people, an
fhas nebber yet failed to give immediate
an permanent relief. Why suffer when
you kin be cured fur de small sum of
| 10 cents-de tenth part of a dollar2"
The speaker retired amid hearty ap-
pIause, and when he had gone Brother
Gardner observed:
Oar was considerable sense an a
good deal of con salve in dat address.
Let US think it over in serious manner
befo' takin' any decided steps. We will
now disrupt de- meetin' Detroit Free
| Press.