The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-05-11
ADVICE BY THE PECK.
Bill Nye Tells His Son How to
Make a Country Paper
Red Hot.


AsnfvsfIR. y. C-Ng I,snr Son: ]
wish yoa would please change the address
of my paper to this place, where your
mother and ! are new staying. got the
Rsfiaa all right last week, and see that
YOU are going TO enlarge il, 80 have sold
my hay to prepare for the event
What is your idea for enlarging the pa
per before the town enlarges? ? OF course
| am no Journalist, but ! have often
thought that If had been doomed to is
sue paper like the Refina and then an
swer at the har of Judgment FOR it, would
not get power press till the town got
good, dark-blue h2ok-and-ladder COM
psny aud a postofiice.
hope you viii not try to issue daily
paper, anyhow, till we see how stock
looks when grass grows again.
like your editorial on MARK An
thony' first rate. can imagine how ex-
cited the people Of your town were when
they saw the Refind Saturday morning
and read what your estimate of Mark was.
wish you woulu incidentally pick up
few Others of those old people and
weigh them. That is one of the luxuries
Of running paper yourself You can
speak right out and walk all over these
people I would like to hear what your
honest convictions are in regard to Dio-
genes Ii would be worth almost what
have put into your paper as a silent part
ner
You can have no idea. Henry, how it
sweIls me up with pride and lofty dis
dain to know that while am sleeping
calmly under my roof-tree, as | heard a
man cali it once, you are showing up
those old frauds like Julius Caesar and
Hamlet and Portcullis and Andronicus
aud Mrs Potiphar and other people who
have become historical.
While other people are frittering away
their time talking about highway tax and
boards of health and al such stuff as
that You are making a red-hot paper of
to-day paper that fairly boils over
with your honest convictions about the
political aspect at the time that Caesar
took charge OF the tribune; paper that
shows the average reader that you are
smart, whether you give them the kind
of stuff they want or not
That was my idea when sent you TO
that female seminary. or what ever it was
where YOU went to get educated want
ed YOU to come out with whole lot OF
thoughts that showed right on their face
that they were expensive. wanted you
TO be able to tell down At the store how
much A. b and c would have to grind off
a circular grind-stone four feet three and
one half inchesin diameter, with a square
hole in the center ihrae and one-fourth
inches each way, provided A pays one
sixth Of the price Of the stone, one-half
and c the balance, with the understand
ing that c shall use five per cent. more
than his share, provided he will turn the
grind-sione. I want YOU 70 be able to
talk with foreigners in their own native
tongue the darkest night that ever blew.
! desired that you might become man
who could walk up TO an Italian as he
PLAYS his organ voluntary beneath your
easement, and tell him in his own music
al alarm clock language. what yoa think
Of him.
30 it pleases me IL know that you are
printing a paper now, SO you can show off
to advantage what have invested in
YOU.
Press right on Keep writing mp these
oyer-estinlated men like Moses, and do
nct care what You say provided you rise
rapidly Yourself, even if you do SO upon
the wreck and ruin of such men as De
mosthenes and other people whom you
will, no doubt. show up before you get
through
hope you viii lead up TO Columbus
and Patrick Henry in time 10 get through
with them a little ahead Of the sheriff
After awhile want 10 write little ar
ticle for your paper, not SO much for the
purpose of saying anything, but in order
70 show the contrast between the polish
ed work Of well-educated. smart Young
man and the crude efforts of plain man
who is entirely untitled for every thing
except paternal purposes
We are having good time here in the
South, enjoying the climate and making
experiments with the butter which is
prodaced here
As warm weather approaches the
mountain butter Of North Carolina is get
ting its hair cut short, and ca;i truthful
Iy say, Henry, that, although | am no
epicure as a general rule, have had my
palate tiekled more since / came here
than / ever did before.
Butter made in the Businesses ofthe hills
in Bumcombe county is mostly of pale
pearl-gray, with pin stripe in it of ultra
marine This does not look badly, and
it sets of hoe-cake first-rate
This butter is not eaten by the people
who manufacture If. They are poor some
times and have to eat most anything that
viii sustain life. but they draw the line
at this butter
They know how ii is prepared.
went out into the brush last week to
buy load i wood, and took tea with
a gentleman who lives in an open-faee
cottage on the other side Of the noun
tains. then discovered that these peo-
Pile do not eat their own butter.
did not notice any butter, but they
had gravy as a substitute for it. Corn
dodger, in and of itself, will not melt in
the mouth, 50 looked around for
means of lubricating my own. Al that
time the warm-hearted and hospitablc
host made the following remark "Stnn-
ger, you mustn't be sqneamish. Just wal
Ter yer doiger in the dope That's the
way We do"
I then proceeded TO waller.