The Arizona sentinel., 1887-03-19
HIS EXPLANATION.
The Member From Sawbuck County Tells
 Why He Is Opposed to Innovations.

The Member From Sawbuck County Tells Why He Is Opposed to Innovations.
 In the Arkansaw Legislature. Mem Der from Sawbuck County. "Mr. Speaker: Yesterday while I was sorter dozin'-fur 1 hadn't slept much the night afore-I heard you fellers talkin' erbout CT hygene bill. I ain't ez well posted ez 1 mout be, and 1 kain't, like some uv the fellers. read ther Constitution with one eye shet, but when it comes down ter knowin' whut folks need, wy I'm allus thar when the roll is called. know the condition uv my people ez well ez any man in the county an 1 know whut they need an whut they don't need. I know that they need more sheep, an that they could make use uv CT few more hogs; that they want a better breed uv chickens an some coon traps, but I'll be dinged-an' I say dinged advisedly, MT. Speaker-if they need any uv yore hygene. They have lived all this time without It an some uv them have grow'd putty fat, too, an it ain't wuth while now to in- troduce fool tricks that they don know nothin' erbout. Some time ergo thar come into our community youny lady from St. Louis an she had on high hat full uv feathers. At all our women folks laughed at her, an my daughter Nan and my wife Sue was specially tickled. Never mind says l, never mind, fur you'll be smilin' on that fool rig fore long, MT Speaker, not more than week went by until the women folks built their Sunday hats few stO ries higher an begun to stick feathers in them, an one day when I come from mill, never heard such CT squallin' in my life. I trapped a bag uv meal an rushed into the smoke-house an 1 wish I may die dead eff thar want my daughter Nan an my. wife Sue CT snatchin' the feathers outen my domi- nicker rooster's tail. My gracious, mur, says I, grabbin' her by the cali ker, 'whut in the name uv common sense air ye doin'.'
 OulGil luA -uOM1GN, an made 9 dive at the rooster that had got loose frum her.
 ' 'Mur, mur,' cried, agi'n grabbin' her by the caliker, wait CT mint till the situation sorter cOols off
 ''Then my daughter Nan grabbed the rooster an ez he was squallin' fur mussy that never come ter him, she robbed him uv his last tail feather. Man, says l, with a strong solution uv sadness in my tone, that chicken cost me CT half CT bushel uv seed peas an CT settin' uv guinea aigs, an, now you've dun stripped him uv his manly beauty! Whut made you do it, Nan?'
 ''Then my wife, Sue, fluttered me. Do you think says she, that we air goin' ter live like heathens with little old low hats without no feathers on 'emP Wall, I'll give you to understand, sir, that we ain goin' ter do no sich CT thing an with that she made furi- ous dive at CT ole hen that had come up her, an snatched out her tail feathers. MT: Speaker, wush you could CT seed my daughter Nan an my wife Sue when they went ter church the next They had on feathered head gear as tall as a churn, an I'll be blamed-I say blamed advisedly, Mir. Speaker-if my bay mare didn't git skeered at 'em, run away with the car ry-all and smash it all to pieces. This, sir, explains why Fam opposed to any thing new. Mr. Secretary, when the time comes jest put me down agi'n thut hy-hy-hygings bill. "- Arkansas TIrn7,eLer