Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-07-10
LEARNING TO THINK.
Sir Isaac Newton's Profound T"nught and
the Good 1t Did Him-Theory OF a Great

Sir Isaac NeWton's fretOunu I"ousib "hu
the Good 1t Did Him-Theory OF a Great
Discovery.
Burdate, tn Brooklyn, Eagle.
Sir Isaac Newton, of Newton Centre,
Mass, was oneof the greatest thinkers that
ever carried q thinker in his bootleg.
Whatever he saw he endeavored to find ont
a u Tor it. But as he was thinking all
the time he didn't see 3 great deal. One
day, as he was sitting in the garden oiling
up his thinker be saw an apple fall from q
tree. Most men would have supposed
that it fell of its own accord, but Sir
Isaac had been u boy himself long
bt fore founding the theology
cal seminary which pe-petuates his uame,
which, by the way, is a very easy n to
spell. He at once began to wonder what
made the . apple fall; some foolish
people say that he wondered why 1T didn't
fall up instead of down, but that Is all
rubbish. Sir Isaac was no fool If he was
q philosopher, and he knew hat every
thing falls down except a wig, and that
false hair.
After pronounced awfter) much thought
and study upon the subject, he discovered
the cause; be noticed that apples were more
apt 10 fall down after school was dismissed
than during study hours. So the next time
he went into the garden he lay low, II
when the apple fell he held his breath
until the cause came swiftly over the fence
to pick up the effect. Sir Isaac collared the
boy, for it was he, and taught him how
aaa,ly Main pntrhf no nrnHnRl6 NV the
rapid infringement of a common apple
switch upon exposed or only partially pro-
tected portions of the human form divine.
He illustrated his theory with a few sim
pie experiments such as a boy of ordinary
intelligence could easily comprehend.
Thisv aluable discovery of Sir Isaac's has
been q great boon to grown-up humanity.
Ii is now universally known that apples
are more apt 10 fall when there are a few
bows at large in the vicinity than at any
other time, and that apples will fall for a
boy when they might have defied the laws
Of gravitation for months longer. This
sublime fact teaches us that notifications
that are at first artificial are rendered spon-
tatfeous by heredity.
This incident OF the apple tree, however,
had one bad effect upon Sir Isaac. 1t led
him to hate boys, and he devoted much of
his time TO makiDg'life a burden to them.
With this %revengelul object in view he in
vented the attraction of grayitation, and
by a Joint resolution of Congress, which he
easily accomplished by persuading the
members of the House that there wa a big
appropriation in it, he got it established as
a fundamental law of nature, with jurisdic-
ton over the tides. the seasons and the
movements of the planets, and many other
things which boys have since been COM
PEELED To learn. SO it is that whenever a
hoy sees an apple he thinks of Sir Isaac
Newton first, and then he thinks Of some
way to get the apple, and by and by he
wonders If he eau find the pain killer in
the dark, and then he thinks how awful it
would be to die there, all alone in the
night, aud then he thinks if he lives till
morning he Will give the rest of his apples
to his little brother, and thus you see quite
a tram of thought is awakened in the boys
mind by Sir Isaac's great discovery.
Sir Isaac never took out a patent on his
discovery, but the Bell Telephone Com
pany claims hat the principle is covered
by their invention and the patents relating
thereto, and if the courts sustain this
claim, AZ they probably will every time a
man picks up anything that has dropped
down he will have to pay the telephone
company a royalty, aud every time he has
anything TO do with the telephone COM
pany, he will drop something.