Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-05-12
FUNNY SOCIETY SCENES.
The Little Swell and the Big Girl-A Pugna-
cious Wife.

tUNN1 SOC1EI1 SCENES.
The Little Swell and the Big Girl-A Pugna
cious Wife.
From the Cincinnati Inquirer.
The funniest thing have seen lately
was right alongside the slightest. The
former was a swell athlete. He belonged
to the Rockaway Hunt, and he had been
that afternoon on the back of horse
that had done muscular wonders in leap
ing fences and straddling bitches. But
the fellow was puny little object, with
his attenuation displayed in knee trousers
and red hunting coat, according to the
prescribed uniform of the club. The
second thing was a robust, vigorous
young girl, with flesh and blood enough
in one of her plump arms to out-balance
the whole of her partner-for she was
dancing with him at the hunt ball, a
minuet. 1t was very humorous indeed to
hear him talk to her about the athletic
achievements to which b. was so proudly
addicted.
They do tell of mnch less robust
belle who the other night challenged a
waiter to combat. It was in one of the
swell restaurants. A couple had been to
the opera, and were now supping at mid
night in private room. It was all very
circumspect and proper, anyhow, because
hey CHANGED to be husband and wife, but
the waiter, IN accordance with the general
rule of the place, took occasion to enter
the room every five minutes, even after
he had been told that nothing more was
wanted of him. You may remember that
SO eminent purist as Offencach, the
composer, had row at DeImonico's over
just the same sort of thing.
"What do you want?" the woman IL
this instance sharply asked.
1T rs according to order, madam" the
serVit0r replied.
"And if you intrude again." said the
fair member of the BadminE3n ClUb, Il
Will throw you ont"
You will perceive that o1t fashionable
women are becoming pugilistic as well as
athletic.
Speaking of refreshments out I hear
of husband and father who sought
amusement in public beer garden. He
sat slipping his beverage steadily enough
until pretty girl canae within close range,
and then, forgetting his dignity, he in
vited her to drink with him. She con
scented. Roguery liz her eyes dashed into
the foaming cup as she fitted it and
| said:
SWELL, here's to the health of Bessie
and Charley!"
Those were the names OF his children.
He gave one hard lock at the girl, and
recognized in her tie nurse-maid of his
household. = Ieer didn't choke him
quite to deaf oa nro a. .-aaa5pogt. And doesn't
dare say boz no1 eararite srr1t the manner
in which his fe7s fsx na cor servant spends
her eveningut bow - } d he?
~ scTs.la1Rus IGlt 5clGRoy
Small Wond Tea' 1l1 Frs IN Damsels are
f1 New Yoes s.gile
-, ;st:on OF C than. ID.
The sss9 nave issued sgIats Al4 UNI a.
statistics of wkat sJnooN girls eat and do
not eat in New York atsS1 Boston. Dut of
ninety girls who were questioned one
morning in one of the public schools, it
was ascertaiaed that twelve had eaten no
breakfast. Of these twelve, six had
brought no luncheon; the other SIX had
cake, pie and pickles, Sr similar indigest-
isle food.
story is aeId of -four girls, ar Eng
Hsh, French, q German, and an Ameri-
can girl, wha we're taken to a restaurant
and Invited tie call for the food that each
would like.
the German girl sauerkraut and brown
bread; the French gin called for pate de
foIe gras. and she American girl, without
hesitation, ordered pink ice cream and
cake.
The following statistics are gathered
from class of 40 girls, varying in age
from is to 90
First morning = Nire came szithout
breakfast. two without Ilnch.
Second morning = Two came without
breakfast, one without lunch.
Third m0rnGng -i0ne came without
breakfast, one without lCnch.
Fourth morning came without
breakfast.
Fifth incoming Three came without |
breakfast.
Sixth morning I've came without
breakfast.
Seventh morning-Three came without |
breakfast, one without lunsh.
Eighth morning Four come without |
breakfast.
And SO on for some time il seems that |
nearly every morning. the1e were from
one to five who came to sehGol to do q
hard days work OF an empty stomach.
The author says:
H'I1 an inquiry into the matter of
lunches one day, discovered that two
brought pickles, two cake only, one fruit
only, three bread only, and one cake and
fruit only; the rest brought sensible
lunches, and I conclude that the maternal
eye watches over the lunch, if not over
the breakfast. Indeed, in the matter OF
lunches In many large private schools il
New York and other large cities, it is Gus
tomary to provide warm lunch for the
pupils, so that each girl is obliged to eat
at that time. am told that this system
has spread so extensively that some fash
onable schools vie with one another in
elegance Of their lunches and the style
With which they are served. There may
'hus be danger of running in the ex-
rene.
There is great need for reform in the
natter of hasty meals. Girls study late
1t night, and ought very wisely to be al
owed to sleep as long as. possible, but
his often necessitates . hurried meal
n the morning. From inquiries made
among the same forty girls I learned that