Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-11-11
GENUINE.

F'Look out for the new counterfeit gold
dollar" advises an exchange We haven't
the time. We are kept too busy hustling
around for genuine gold dollars.-Philadel-
phia Call.
"Now, how must do with this wedding
cake to dream on ita" asked gushing dam
sci OF a matter of-faet young man. "Just
eat it; that's all, was the reply.-Washing
ton Critic.
First Minneapolitan-"Th Rev. Mr.. Save
mall has been boycotted by his congregation" :"
Second Minneapolitan-EtWhy, what's up?
Scandala" F.M.-"Last Sunday he took his
text from St. Paul. Sun.
The body of red squirrel was found in a
AZ pound piekerel taken at Oxford, Mass,
the other day. The question now is, Do
squirrels swim, or do pickerel climb trees?-
New York Commercial Advertiser.
'sI was walkin' down Third avenue to-
day." said old Mrs. Bently, "when somebody
in an upper window threw out pail o.
water, an jest bout spilled it. don't know
when," concluded the old lady, ''that I've
felt SO irrigated over ennythin'."-Life.
A Not Unusual Mode of Economizing.-
Jones Ito his friend)-ffYes, old boy, I've de-
termined to economic on fare and walk
home from the Office every day. By the
way, let's go in and take something. It's a
devilish long walk home. Texas Siftings
bulgaria IL Sa1u u D6 OfSrTuu WlGQ armed
bands The Bulgarian band has the reputa-
ton of being worse than any We have in the
back towns of New England and if they did
not go armed people would fall upon the
trombone nan aud stuff his horn with old
boots.-Burlingto Free Press.
It is quite likely that Samson would have
been all right, notwithstanding the pineapple
cut that the tonsorial artist gave him, but
when that individual proceeded to suggest
| n haiS
as weak baby. He hadn't had the expe-
rience that most of US have had, poor man.
Boston Transcript.
Health Resorts.-First Doctor-"Busy?"
Second Doctor-''Yes, almost worked to
death" $50 am I. It will be two months
before the people returning from their health
getting trips will quit sending for the doc
tors" ''That's fact. If it wasn't for these
health resorts we would have to go out of
business. "-Texas Siftings.
A new umbrella has a match box in the
handle. But this will not prevent its disap-
pearance on rainy day. What is needed is
about ton of dynamite in the handle that
will explode and blow into small fragments
the person who "borrows" it without the
owners permission. That would teach the
unknown borrower" a lesson.-Norristown
Herald.
At the Reception.-Miss Vawze (from
Bawstine)-''Which do you like the better,
Mr.. Miller, winter or spring!" Mr. Miller
(from Minneapolis)- good hard No.
spring grinds pretty well, and there's the
most money in it; but, after all, give me the
regular old-fashioned winter wheat that
amt growed any, and I'll guarantee you the
best flour every timer'-Puck.
Lonesome, but Comfortable you
enjoy the opera last night, John?' inquired
his wife. 0Not much, F." he answered; "I was
lonesome, and was sorry I was detained at
the Office 30 late that I hadn't time to come
for you. This going alone to the theater
isn't what it's cracked up to be, my dear"
''No, 1 suppose not" returned the lady
thoughtfully. ''Still, you must have been
very comfortable" she added, 'as the two
ticket stubs 1 found in your vest pocket
gave you the advantage of more than one
seat. Puck.