Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-01-07
Communicated
SHORT HILLS. Jan.

ing our hat in our hand, and wearing a
most greatful smile on our countenance.
Memo has received the YTginiaR's Xmas
Gift and would gladly return some poetic
garlands of equal wit, beauty, measure
and instruction, but he has never had
any practice in that line. Long ago, in
DAYS of his youth, he used to compose
poetry of the sentimental kind, suoh as
My love for you shall ever flow
Like water down a potato row,
but fears such poetry would not be suita'
BILE for the occasion.
Memo was glad to know that the lr-
qiniaR was "monkeying," but it is feared
by his friends that it would have been
better to have kept him IN ignorance Of
the fact. All through the holidays he has
been strutting around with ink on his
fingers aud pen behind his ear. His
most intimate friends are also proud that
bis little three-Quarter column squibs
should elicit three TO three and a-half
columns Of "monkeying" editorial matter
from the TirgiHiaa. Some of them have
applied for a position for him on the odi-
torial staff of prominent y. y. daily
Up to date no kilograms has been received
announcing his appointment. Memo has
had no ambition to distinguish himself
as a writer, especially on the tariff. His
articles will show that he has not at
tempted an argument. He was bantered
TO argue against free-trade with the Iir-
qinian and was told that no could "get
the stuflin' knocked out" of his opposition
to free-trade by that paper. lie gently
nudged the J'uginidR on that point and it,
instead, has knocked free-trade Democracy
in the Short Hills as cold as a wedge. No
Democrat ever opens up on free-trade any
more.
Who killed the free-traders
81 know" chirped a sparrow,
"The TirginiaR killed 'em
With its reform arrow
Why did he do iti
ooh, oh - cawed a crow,
ut was only an accident
He aimed at Memo"
As to our wager we would say that we
were made to say Glow tariff means low
wages" We meant to say Glow tariff
means low taxes" a position which the
J'irgiRian has maintained.
"Mr. Memo then goes on to say that if,
&c, and then the Vrginidn goes on, as
suming that Memo asserted it all to 1e
true. We only intended to show that
protectionsts had as good foundation for
leaving the tariff alone for the same rea.
son the J'irginian assigned, for reforming
it. That excellent paper in the ardor Of
its poetic illusions has wasted whole
column Of matter 1t put up the snow
man, Memo added pinch of snow and
it then furiously pelted him (the snow
mani down. 1t stated proposition and
said "hence no need of a tariff Memo
for the same reason said that there was
"hence no need Of any revision" (or re-
form, if it pleases). Since it is so fond Of
reasons let it tell its readers where the
advantage of reform comes IN, ac-
cording to its proposition.
Memo has never tried to enter any
argument, and is reluctant to attempt
anything of the kind nOw,as his opponent
has decidedly the advantage. Memo must
necessarily be brief, having no claim on
the columns of the HERALD. While bis
opponent can write as much as he chooses
with the authority to have it published
However if the IugiHiaH is so very anx-
ious to exhibit its "avalanche' Memo will
be the last one to stand in the way. Next
week we promise faithfully TO answer
the questions concerning the tariff, when
and why it was instituted, &c. OF course
we must be brief and beg all parties con-
cerned TO remember that we own no paper
as possible. If Memo answered the lir.
giniaR as it does him, he would have soon
TO rent a whole page Of the HERALD.
Now trot out your avalanche and grease
her mp ready for action for Memo will try
to 90 as deep as the VTginiGn wants him
to 60, and is egotistic enough to believe
that he can, even in his limited space, 90
a HHle deeper than it wants HIM to go. He
can have access to facts and figures as
well as the reformers of the tariff. Memo
would have answered tie questions this
week, but could not get his books of
reference handily. He is not able to pro.
duce fine language or beautiful rhetorical
flowers but will state cold facts in con-
else manner.
Until next week, good bye.
MEMO No. 3.