The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1887-03-25
BILL MyE.s NEW TeeTH.

BILL NvE.s NEW TEETH.
as Tells m Sea An He Knows Aseus
RIlllng lettering Mouth.
Yourl last issue of the Retina. your new
thought vehicle. published at New
Belong. was received yesterday. like
this number. l think. better than did
the first While the news in it seems
fresher. the editorial assertions are not
% fresh. Youdo not state that you shave
como to stay" this week. but infer
that you occupy the same position you
did last week with reference to that
Twas more especially interested in
your piece about how to rear children
and the care Of parents. Tread it to
your mother last night while she was
setting her bread. Nothing tickles me
very often at my time Of life, and when
l laughed loud peal of laughter at
any thing nowadays it's got to be .
pretty blamed good thing. I can tell
You that But your piece about bring
ing up children made me laugh real
hard. l enjoy = piece like that from
the pen of a juicy young brain like
yours. 1t almost made me young
again to read the words of my jour
nalistic gosling son.
You also say that '.teething is the
most trying time for parents" Do you
mean that parents are more frctful
when they are teething than any other
time? Your mother and me reckoned
that you must mean that. If so. it
shows your great research. How a
mere child hardly out of knec-panties.
a young shoot like you. who was never
a parent for a moment in his life. can
enter into and understand the woes
that beset parents is more than / can
understand. If you had been through
what ! have while tecthing could see
how You might understand and write
about it, but at present / do not see
through it. The first teeth cut AS
parent made me very restless. was
sick two years ago with new disease
that was Just out. and the doctor gave
me something for it that made my teeth
fall like the leaves Of autumn. In six
weeks after 1 began to convalcsce my
mouth was perfectly bald-hesded. For
days didn't bite into q Ben Davis
apple that didn't leave fang into it.
Well. after that l saw an advertise
ment in the Rural Rustler-a paper l
used to take thcn--of \ place where
you could get a set of teeth for six dol
Jars. l didn't want to buy a high
priced and gaudy set of teeth at the
sail end of such life rs / had led. and
! knew that teeth. no matter how ex-
Pensivc they might be. would be Of
little avail to coming generations. so 1
went over to the place nam ed in the
paper and got an impression of my
mouth taken.
There is really nothing in this life
that will take the stiff-necked pride out
Of \ man like viewing plaster cast of
his lettering mouth. The dentist fed
me with large ladle full of putty or
plaster Of paris. l reckon, and told me
10 hold it in my mouth til! it set.
don't remember q time in all my
life when the earth and transitory
things ever looked 80 undesirable and
so trifling rs they did while sat there
in that big red barber chair with my
mouth full of cold putty. 1 felt just as
a man might when he is being taxi
dermied.
After awhile the dentist took out the
cast. 1t was cloudy day and so it
didn't look much like me after all. If
it had l would have sent you one.
After I'd set again two or three times.
we got pretty fair likeness. he id.
and went home. having paid six dol
lars and left my address.
Three weeks after that a small boy
came with my new teeth.
They were nice. white. shiny teeth.
and did not look very CHASTITY after l
had become used to them. 1 wished at
first that the gums had been a duIler
red and that the teeth had not looked
SO new. put them in my mouth, but
they felt cold and distant. 1 took them
nut and warmed them in the sunlight.
People going by no doubt thought that
| did it to show that l was able to have
new teeth. but that was not the case.
wore them all that forenoon while |
I butchered. There were times during |
the forenoon when l wanted 20 take |
them out. but when man is butcher !
ing he hates to take his teeth out Just |
because they hurt.
Nei.hbors told me that after my |
mouth got hardened on the inside it |
would feel better.
But, oh. how it relieved me ut night |
10 take those teeth out and put them
On the top Of a cool bureau. where the
wind could blow through their whis-
lers! How hated to resume them in
he morning and start in on another
ong day. when the roof Of my mouth
'elt like big red bunion and my gums
ike pale red stone bruise.
A year ago, Henry. about two-thirty
n the afternoon. think it was. left
ha: set of teeth in the rear flank of .
barbecue was to in our town.
Since then have not been so pretty.
perhaps, but l have no more unicorns
N the rafters Of my mouth and my
tote is just IS good at thirty days IL
.vrr it was.
You are right. Henry. when You go
IN tn state in your pauer that fpefhinc