davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
How They Settled II.

A man by the name of Gibson, who lives
in Falls County, went to Marlin aud got
full. He was arrested for drunkenness and
the usual fine imposed by Mayor William
Shelton. The man told the Mayor that he
had only a few dollars, and his family
needed it very badly. He wanted to know
If he could not submit to a whipping and be
allowed to keep his money. The Mayor
told Mr.. Gibson that his cost was 50. 20,
and that he would take that amount "out of
bis hide" How many will you strike
me2" said Mr.. Gibson. The Mayor said
ten. This was agreed upon, but Gibson
refused to strip. His honor took q board,
and bending Gibson over a chair proceeded
to take ont his costs. The City Marshal
then offered to take out his costs the same
way, but Mr.. Gibson said no, and paid up
and went home.-Housfon (Terasl Post.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
A Close Resemblance.

A wealthy young amateur with q fond
mother was fred with fine frenzy and on
cluded to 60 on the stage as Hamlet.
Don't you think, said his mother to q
friend n night, after he had been on
about a month at a cost Of $50, 600, my
boy will be a very great tragedian some
day."
well, really, l can't say" was the eau
tious reply; but in one particular he is
very like Booth"
"Ah, thank you," said the fond mother.
In what particular, pray?"
He always comes to tie theatre in a
carriage. madam - Washington Critic.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
A BARNARD Turned Lady.

Some time ago q barmsid who had grad
uated at a Melbourne boot factory married
an English baronet. One day an acquaint.
ance of the baronet called at his residence
and inquired of her Ladyship whether Si
Henry-Henry will do was in. sch
me, he's not in!" replied her Ladyshipi
I'm afraid he's on the booze again" Lady
-i is now in Hlngerland, and wheI
she begins to talk she will make the old no.
bility sit mp and cough.-Sydney IN. s.
Wy Rulefiu-
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
81 Feel So Well"

Pierce's 'Favorite Prescription writes .
lady to her friend. "For . long time I was
unfit 70 attend to the work of my household. /
kept about, but l felt thoroughly miserable. l
had terrible headaches, and bearing-dowH
discouraged l sent and got some Of the med
icine after receiving your letter, and it has
cured me. ! hardly know myself. / feel 90
we'll
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
Finished 1t ut Last.

What do you suppose my wife did yes.
terday2" asked q Lisbon street man Of mys.
teries. Don't know" was the reply.
perhaps she got up and built the IRE"
NO, sir! But I'll tell you what she did,
She finished a patchwork quilt yesterday
that she began just forty years ago this
winter, when she was a little girl Of zyears.
The sewing is in contrast, but not more
than would be expected. What is also
strange, her mother started her to mixing
it forty years ago and cut out the s( Area
for her, and her mother helped her diaw it
In yesterday. "-Leriston (Afe.) Journal.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
All ssplaved 0utO

Don't know what ails me lately. Can't cal
well, can't sleep we'll Can't work, and DOM
enjoy doing anything. Amt really sick, ani
/ really amt well. Feel all kind o played out
someway." That is what scores Of men say
every day. II they would take DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" they would soon
have no occasion to say it 1t purifes the
against disease. 1t is . great anti bilious rem
e1v A. wall
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
slaughter Of Deer in Oregon.

T. 3. Ksnney informs the Jacksonville
i(OreGnh) 0snttnel that within two menfAs
- Aas purcAased SOS pounds Of deer
hides. Il would require shout 1900 pelts
- fseoh that weight. Other parties in
,6suihssn Oregon hare purchased, showing
that n III abeut 4.60O deer had been killed
for tAsis skins only. Still there IL . Law
taaainse such practice. - San Frawcisco
fCAroNicle.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
1t Cost Him Nothing.

They were two md they were riding
upon the car. One was very poor and
hadn't . cent.
Said the penniless fellow: Il know q
plscs where We can get q drink and it
won't cost me o cent" 8.
You dol" said the other. THAT'S me.
Wen 70 there"
So they got on the car and they began to
feel warm - they walked into . we'll known
bar. The proprietor was there and the
iduced his companion.
MI. jones, this 10 my friend Mr.. Smith.
Hes Just asked me to take q drink with
him"
And the poverty stricken youth was
right. It did not cost him . cent: but his
friend psid.-Ham Francisco ChroNScle.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
Cause For Gratitude

She had given him q plate Of soup, and
while he ate it he complained bitterly Of
his poverty.
Il s'pose you are poor" she said.
Poor! Madam" he repeated, you can
form ONE idea Of how poor Kan when /
tell you that for the last two weeks l have
been compelled TO use the same wooden
toothpick, and I can see no relief in that
direction for a fortnight longer. But, thank
heaven" he added, with devout gratitude,
@the wear and tear on it from this soup
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
one Honest Nan in the World.

A Bridgeport man befriended . stranger
,op ne cars . few days ago between this
oisy and Springfield TO the amount of
~ cents, which the stranger required to
reach home with, a. he had been robbed on
the train By gamblers. The Bridgeport
man was surprised yesterday to receive .
letter iaclosin9 . d bill, with thanks for
the loan. The bil1S and letter have been
,ffamed-Bridgeport (COnn.) Standard.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

THE angel whom a young man escorts to
q ball or party is quite q different sort Of
looking celestial from what she appears
the morning after when her mother is chas-
ing her down celler 10 take a hand in the
weeks washing-FdN Rirer Advance.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

TWENTY-FIVE thousand Of the $4,000
prisoners confined in jails throughout
India have been released as an act Of
clemency to commemorate the jubilee Of
Queen Victoria. In selecting the prisoners
to be liberated special pains have been
taken to show lenity to females.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
Why He Would Enter Politics.

Il think" remarked q seedy- looking
tramp, that I'll 60 into politics"
why" asked an interested listener"
Because, podner, I've heart say tina,
politics makes strange bedfellows."
oh" responded the other, do you hank.
er after strange bed-fellows?"
mo, podner, but I would like to have a
bed. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
Something New

And most important Hallett L Co, Port
land, Maine, can furnish you work that you
can do at great profit and live at home, wher-
ever you are located. Either sex; all ages.
Asa p. Rand, Westboro, Mass, writes us that
he made $50 profit in a single day. Every
worker can make from t5 to 425 and upwards
per day. All is new. Capital not required;
you are started free. Fun particulars free.
Send your address 1T once.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

TIE removal Of Prof. Hanborn Of New Hamp-
shire, after bang pronounced incurable b. .
score Of physicians, from Las Vegas N. II, TO
his home. waa effected BY administering Dr..
HAetse's Iron Tonic which has restored him
10 hia fOrmar rood health.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

A TALENTED pianist, Madame de w.,
sitting. q dinner by the hide Of Colonel
Ramollot, asked him in an smiabls tone:
@Colonel. are you fond Of music?"
MADAME" replied tho warrior, rolling
hin eyes sevagely, II I'M not afraid lof it!A
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
How the Gar il Guarded.

1 Great precautions are taken in st. Pc.
IteEsburg every time the Gear drives out.
Before the carriage or the sledge leave the
'Anitcbko6 Palace the polics are informed
by telephone AZ 10 the direction in which
the Gear contemplates driving. The Or
binary police force il immediately doubled
all along the way. and the especial corps Of
scouts Are stationed on each footway.
/. These scouts are mostly privates or Rub-
officers who have served their time. They
form . brigade Of several hundred men,
who wear civilians dress and receive rather
high wages. They follow the Gar - his
ehadew. They vent with him to Skiernio-
vice, Kremsier, Finland, and to the Crimea.
At Gatchins and Peterhof they form the
aner circle Of the guards surrounding the
palace. One sees them there concealing
themselves to the best Of their ability be-
hind trees, shrubs and bushes.
The Gear 10 quito against these strict
precautions, but the police assert that it is
impossible to act otherwise. London
Daily Nescs.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

1000 % WASHING MACHINES FREE, to intro
duce them. II you want one, send ct once 70
Monarch Laundry Works, Sc Warren IL. n. 7
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

CROUCH ON Dirt" whitens clothing yellowed
by careless washing or use Of cheap washing
compounds. Washes everything nom finest
lacss to heaviest blankets. There need be no
fear in using this article. Does not rot nor vol.
low. 5 a loo.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
EDw. B. WILKINS,
No. 5 East Maple Street.

Ask for Or. Pardee's Remedy, and take
no other. II your Druggist does not keen
u, ana refuses to get it for you, write to
a. ma We will send you. Six Bottles for
$5, or One Bottle Free.
Address, PARDEE MEDICINE CO..
ROCHESTER,. N. Y.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
BEs{(SS E@:s|s26{S
RORggSsazASfER

sdy Known for Rheuma dam. Pleurisy Neuralgia L.un-
bsEo. Bseksche. wsssness cpl s IL rs ebsss. sad 4!
Druggists Of the highest reputs. Benson's P1astsr.
prompt , relieve sni cure whore other plAeters and
greasy sAlyes, liniments and lotions, are ebsolutely
useless. Beware Of limitations under similar sounding
names. such - ssCapstcum,A sCspuetn.- .Capsicine,s
AK 1oR BKNs0Nts AND TAXI NO orAxAs. All drug
gists. SEABURY &JOHNsOS. Prcpnetors. New YORK
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

A leading physician has made the startling
revelation that six thousand people, mostly
children, die yearly In this country from the
effects Of cough mixtures containing morphia
or opium. Red Star Cough Cure contains
neither opiatea nor poisons; purely vegetable
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

Vc4uO NoAvAAuoV(s
Some jokers down Ut Sharon got an old
darker to run for burgess. On election day
he appeared on the streets mounted on q
white horse, which was loaded down with
bells and red, white and blue ribbons,
while his rider was logged out in white
plug hat, linen buster, etc, and covered
with ribbons. The Joke took SO we'll that
he came within a few votes Of being elect.
ed .Tifusrille (Pa.) Herald.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

THERE are sermons in stones" but more
tangible discourses in every ministerial
brick.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

EIGHT condemned naval vessels are to
be sold for old junk and timber in March,
and among them are several with histories,
including the Lackawanna, which was with
which, in defiance OF Brazilian neutrality
Lawn, captured The Florida and Powhattan,
which carried the American flag into the
ports Of Japan more than thirty years ago.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

A9 ~ apct3on ssle of eirpas " olAes
IdGS tmpFesg aauallDpAaQt seta ~ o1sseeQQ9
go 1lfF3gAa5 Ss5ssdkya w1ASS1s6
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
That Tired Feeling

- % general at this season tha every ons knows
what u meant BY the sxpressiSn. A change Of zee
son. climate. or Of life. has such . dspressine eNsdI
upon ths body thas one feels al tired out amost
complstely Frustrated. tbs appetite Il lost md there
= NO ambition to do anything. The whols tendency
Of the syseem IL downward. In this condition Hoods
6arsapaylls IL Just the medicine needed. II puraAss
the blood. aAarpens the appetite. ovefcomes he tired
feeling. andinvisorstes every function Of the body.
Try IL.
We al Ike Hoods SArsaparinA, e 10 70 strength
suing." LIZZIE BALyouR. Auburn. 20.
Tho Weak Made strong.
Tnever took any medicine that did me 20 much
good In % short Q time - Hoods BarSaparills. Iwss
very much run down. had no strength. no en~sy.
and falt very tired III he tine. ycommsnosd tskine
Hoods earsaparilA, and before ] had used ons botsls
2sANks Q different psrson. Thst extreme tired teal
Ing he's gone. my appstite returned, md u toned me
mp generally. Ny brother md asser Aave also ~
ceivsd great bsnent from H. CLAaA v. PnH1ss.
Shirley. Mas.
N.B.-Bs SURE 70 sst
Hoods ~8areaparilla
eol1 b. dyQgEists.. u; stx for o.. Prepared b q.
- co. ADotAecsr.es. lowell. 4a6s.
100 Doses One Dollar
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

II you ARE LOSING YOUR GRIP
On life try Wells Health Repewsr." Goes dire.t
to weak spots. For weak men, delicste women.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

Rochester, N. Y.
9ESTs:-I was confined to my bed with
1nfammatory Rheumatism for over q
week; ives very badly afflicted, suffering
nom severe pains In my chest, II was 60
ing to my heart. On Thursday the 15tk I
commenced using DR.. Pardee's Rheumatic
Remedy at 8 o'clock p. NJ, and on Satur-
dsay the 18th, was able to walk oil over the
mouse, and have since continued to Inn.
prove, and take pleasure in recommending
70 all who are afflicted with the terrible
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
A Picturesque Candidate.

No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption
Cures where other remedies fell, CSC,
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

DoN'r disgust everybody by hawking, blow.
ing, and splitting, but use Dr.. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy aud be cured.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23
GOOD NEWS FOR the AFFLICTED.
A Remarkable Cure
OF Rheumatism and Catarrh.
BaldWinsyille N. Y.

Baldwinsville, N. Y.
Pordee Medicine Co.
GENTLRNEN:-About one year ago I
chilled my blood and wa under the Doc
tori care for about six months whom / had
. counsel of eight physicians and was
gwen up to die. Soon after, q lady friend
came to see ne and told me about your
great Remedy. She said she had been
cured by 1t after having the rheumatism
seven years, and that her rheumatism was
nrst brought on BY q cold. At this time I
was suffering severe pain all through my
body and near my heart. The doctors
called it only frozen blood" Through
the persuasion Of my friend I procured .
bottle. found some relief. Seeing this
! procured more and was entirely cured BY
Its use; and what was my surprise md pleas.
IRE ct finding that I was not only cured of
my rheumatism, but the ca.arrh, which
had been troubling me for years, and had
become very offensive, had entirely left
me.
Wishing your remedy every success, and
thanking you very much for my double
cure, I remain,
Truly yours,
MRS. LUCY BRONSON.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

noying kidney diseases, tatarrh Of BLADDER, xc. u.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

TOOK i've month"; treatment IN all. In
almost discouraged; could not perceive
but the third month i began to pick uE
returning health gradually but suref
and strong"
Our principal reliance in curing Mr..
was the "Golden Medical Discovery"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-03-23

MIN NV MADE. FAST in Goaebic stocs.
TfvA11 Anenew town l0ts. Security eusSsn.
Aept0s@ AI. KIRK Co, Milwaukee. Wis.
The Press., 1887-06-30

Some inventive genius has imposed uI - on the New York World by telling one of it's paragraphers story that during the monumental festivities at New Haven, Gov. ernor Lounsbury turned angrily to wait. CT who offered him glass of wine. and said "you have given me the worst insult have ever received" We are able 10 say on the best authority that there is not a word of truth in this statement. There was not m incident of Governor Louns- bury's stay ill New Haven which would furnish shadow of foundation for the story. It is a deliberate and manlfestly malicious invention of the Worlds infor. mant. Governor Louusbury makes nc concealment of lhe fact that he is tem. perance man, and he also makes no parade of it. And he is not a fanatic or n mar who would rudely speak to q waiter at [ feast who was honestly attending to his du ties But the story having had so good { start will doubtless go the rounds.
The Press., 1887-06-30
HABITS OF CIRCUS PERFORMERS.

D. s.. Thomas, formerly press agent for F. II. Barnum's s show, was asked the otlier day about the moral characters of the per formers "Well, i" replied Mir. Thomas, ,"If there be any one thing about circus life that tue public are more deceived in than another, it is about this point While vice and intemperance is too common among other departments, tue performers are not near So bad as people suppose. So far as the athletes are concerned, if you stop to think you will see that their salary depends on their act this act depends on their physical condition, and in turn, their physical condition depends wholly upon their manner of living. But few of thom use liquor. It is seldom one sees high salariedr professional athlete smoking, and they never chew tobacco The same may be said of the female performers. As a rule they are hard working people, whose parents were in the bus mess before them and who have been broughtup ill the circus from childhood. They often go in familles and have their protector. The girls marry young and generally in the profession. Each will have one act for a specially, and their combined salaries give them a good living, and enable them to lay up money Many of the performers with responsible show like the Barnum circus let their salc- ries remain intact and when tue season closes draw 1t in full. As the company pay all travelling expenses, there is little occa- sion for spending money, aud being hard workers and economical, they very wisely leave their salary where they know it is safe. Once through the night performance, an hour later finds them quietly sleeping in their berths weary with their day E work. Arriving at the next point of exhi- bition they must arise, hurry to the hotel for breakfast and then hasten to the show grounds and prepare for the parade. This over, comes the dinner, and this is quickly followed by the afternoon performance,
 then supper and the evening show, and
 you will see that the girls have little t1ne
 for carousing were they so disposed No,
 sir, circus girls know nothing of wine sup. | DerS :"
The Press., 1887-06-30

There was no trouble among the Irish. Americans of New York over the celebra, ton of the Queens Jubilee. The English people there celebrated to their hearts con tent. It was only in Boston that the mis- guided attempt was made to crush out aud prevent that harmless manifestation :; nDd there the unwise attempt was based on the oratorical claim that it was "desecration of the Cradle of Liberty" But the Ameri- can people are not harmed by that quiet little celebration in Faneuil Hall. It has done no harm to the cause of republican liberty. But 1t has strengthened our country and the cause of freedom, abroad and at home. America, we hope, is great enough to grant such a concession. Even the patriots of Boston will survive it, Hartford Times.
The Press., 1887-06-30

< Dr. William Everett of Massachusetts was one of the West Point visitors appoint. ed by the president to witness the gradu- ating exercises. Atthe banquet, Dr. Everett boldly announced that he was mugwump. Whereupon Mayor Oourtenay of Charles ton was reminded of story. An English man visiting this country during the cam paign of 1884, asked the meaning of the term mugwump, and friend replied
 "A republican who votes the democrat ic ticket"
 s'And what do you call democrat who votes the republican ticket?" next inquir- ed the curious Englshman.
 "I'd call him . damn fool" was the friends prompt response.
 During the hot summer months impure lard is apt to be very strong and frowy. Lard manufactured by Sperry and Barnes is strictly pure and superior to any in the market Hams Bacon, etc, made by them are the best.
The Press., 1887-06-30
tFrom Sour Little Men aud Womenn for July.) ewSwwwr sN =

THE ORIOLE. Lady locket lost her pocket,
 Lost it out in the orchard grass 1.ls And little fellow clad in yellow . Found it as he chanced to pass K @ And he said, or sang it, sHo, I'll hang it'' These were his very sing-song words Where bloom comes quickest, and bloom is
 thickest,
 I'll hang it up for my baby birds !" It looked so funny "a bag for money, A grass-cloth pouch so quaint and odd With a woven shining silken lining Made from broken milk-weed pod. Leaves were growing and buds were blowing, And he did his wisest and his best To try to hide it, but some one spied it, A boy, who cried, "A hang birds nest "Oh, sister-locket, it is your pocket Swinging here in the apple-tree If the tree were smaller and 1 were taller I'd get it for you again, maybe !n The wind grew merry over this, very, And laughed as he tossed the nest-hune
 bough, tiff you don't mind falling and headlong
 sprawling, And bumps and bruises, try it now !''-tF
The Press., 1887-06-30
(Hartford Courant.) THE WRATH NF WICHITA.

: Wichita is one of the liveliest towns of it's size in southern Kansas. It is the county town of Sedgwick county. It is also ''boom" town, and brags and swag- gers about its future greatness in way that fills the rival towns of the region with envy, hatred, malica, and uncharitable- ness. Until this month it has ben a law to itself in the matter of beverages. 4 correspondent of the New York Sun re- ports that, when the news of the passage of the prohibitory law first reached Wich- ita, the following card was promptly and conspicuouslY publishedsin a local news paper :-
 TO ALL PROHIBIT1ONISTS. The Saloon keepers of Wichita have $500 on deposit in this office
 FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE WIDOW of the Son of Gun who makes
 THE FIRST COMPLAINT
The Press., 1887-06-30

"Bread, exclaimed a college girl, "well I should say can make bread, we studied that iu our first year. You see the yeast ferments and the gas permeates every, where and transforms the plastic material into Q clearly obvious atomic structure and"-But what is this plastic material "Oh, that's sponge" How do you make the sponge? "Oh, the cook attends to that. Then we test the sponge with the thermometer and hydrometer and hand it back to the cook, and when it comes on the table it is just splendid"