davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
A MILD ASSIMILATION.

Shortly after the supreme court of Illinois had confirmed the decision in the anarchists case, German who had just arrived in an Arkansaw town got up on goods box and had begun to speak of the great outrage which had been perpetrated upon" American citi- zens," when some fellow knocked him off with a brick. With pardonable indignation the injured man sought the mayor, an old fellow who had turned loose the blow handles to take up the reins of municipal govern ment.
 "Vos you der mier off dies down?"
 Wall, that's whut the boys lowed airter they got done countin' the votes"
 "Yah, we'll, some oudrages vas pen pud at me-"
 "How so?"
 "I gum to dies down CT bieccable man und l gids up some speeghes to make on der oudrages dot der aDarch- ists pen put on, und CT hell init weller he knocks me der box off init brig. Vats yer dinks erboud dot?"
 "Got up to makea speech an feller knocked you off with brick, ehf"
 "Yah."
 Hurt you!"
 "Heret me? By tam you ze dies blude my heat on? Ze dies hole my heat in? Heret me, der debels! dinks vas some fools ter standt dies '"
 "Wall, ef 1t knocked you of you didn't stand it."
 Bud i'd proke mien heat most un vot you dinks dot CT bout?"
 "Wall," said the mayor, stroking his wirey whiskers, 'I think 1t was mild insinewation to keep yore mouth shet. Sam," addressing his clerk, "show this feller to the cross fence that divides Bell township and this great conmer- cial emporium"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
THE ENGLISH WAY.

Al iggB;sitiys American journalist while visiting 4 newspaper office in London asked the proprietor whom he regarded as his best editorial writer.
 "An old fellow named Mason" the proprietor replied.
 T suppose you value him on &C., count oi his scholarly style and depth of discussi0n.s
 "Oh, I don't know about that, but you see his editorials all turn col- urnn about three inches and haif.1
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

"In our civilization" said q preten- tious painter, "there Is nothing we need more than art critics.1
 "T don't know that we need them nc~,1 some one replied, "bat we may need them after awhile"
 "When, sir?"
 "After we have artists"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

Do you think that VIC literary men are overworkeds" asked . writer during c conversation at q dinner-ts- ble?1
 I 4cs's think .e x. . some one replied. HIt's the public that l. overw0rked. The readers arc the ones that need rest"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
WANTED A REALIST.

X thoughtful looking man entcrSl largo publishing house and asked for the manager; and, having been shown into his otilcc, said;
 "l saw your advertisement"
 "Yes. sir; have scat"
 "You stated that you want n writer who has devoted himself to the school of American ralism."
 "Tcs, sir"
 Well, am that man. was tor several years eii.or of tho Redtisf,c Terbosity, and an the author of rs. eral novels"
 "llcalistie novelsS"
 "Oh, certainly. 1 wrote the Sim. per af the Mayheld Girls ana 'rhc Snort of the Man Who Had Caught Cold lam sorry that you have no, heard of them."
 Do not lot that worry yon, since my not hearing of them ia to thcir credit A realistic novel to be success must bc rcad by only small circle of intimate aequalniances.
 You state thnt you have work for n genuine realist,"
 "l hnve"
 "I would like to secure IT, My writing, though meeting every re- quiroment of truth In the art of iic- ton, has not bccn remunerRtive, | suppose you would want mo to per form literary criticism permit me to say that In this lino l am an nr- knowlelged master. have picked out the ulobbcring and wct-eyed faults in Dickens, and have shown Thack- cray to be glltteriBg crank"
 "You deny the existence of genius"
 Most empbatically."
 And you believe, with Mir. How els, .hat all the stories have been written"
 "Aa il raailst ] cannot believe other wise. Literary criticism, permit me to add in adyocacy of my claim. ls my Impregnably fortified stronghold, my castle which yields to no assault Al the start would like io take up that sensational eharlatan, Rider lIaggard. would pay no attention to his piracy, for Of that all his readers arc aware, but, sir, with the red- hot pin cers ot truth would pull off the toe nails of his methods"
 "You are apt In illustration"
 "Our school eniorces that accom- plishInent. We are, however, drifting from fl matter which should be sci- tied. lam willing to work at n very reasonable rate. The students in our school are advocates of economy"
 Il don't want you to do literary criticism," said the manager.
 "Ah! Essays or anything of that sort? You advertised for a rea!ist, you remember"
 "Yes, becanse 1 thought that his training would fit him for the work. want him to read proof on a fruit tree catalogue and then compile a lumber report and--why, he's gone,' the n,ai.sger added to himself "These realists, while they only claim talent, possess the eccentrIcity of genius"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
MAYOR ROcHE'S VISITOR.

Dis we're make de fir time dat rse come rouu' ter sec de mayor Q dis town," said an old negro who pre- sented himself for admission into the office of Chicago's mayor. "Down wander in Tennessee whar come rum CT pusson ken go right into de gub- ner's office, fling his hat on de table, spit on de f1o' an sorter enjoy hisse'i in CT gir'l way, but up yere when CT man gifts CT office he goes up stars, shets de do', h'ists de winder an squirts ambier on de poperlation. Pm gwine ter see de mayor dis time gwine ter see him, tell yer, UT some- body on de yuther side de street gwinter say, Look yere, w'ut fuss is dat w'ut soun's so much like cats CT fightin'? Huh, wool mus be fyin' nightly summers An it is gwine ter be fyin', femme tell yer"
 When, at last, he was shown into Mayor Roche's office, he bowed po- litely, and, in recollection of his Ten nessee bringing-up, wadded his hat and dropped it on the floor.
 "Yerse'fs de mayor, is yer?"
 "Yes, am the mayor" MT. Roche replied.
 "No doubt erbout it, reckon"
 "No doubt whatever"
 "Wall, now, eff dar is any doubt l wants yer ter tell me, cage I doan wanter be lettin' myself out less'n I know 'zackly w'ut Pm doin'. Er pusson kain't be too purticuler desc days"
 'State your business, old man l am the mayor"
 "Bleeged ter yer, an thankee, sah, too. come up ter dis town erbout two years ergo, not bercaze l want doin' well at Nashville, but bercaze l wanted CT office, sah."
 Because you wanted an office :" the mayor exclaimed.
 "Yas, sah, yas dat's wy come. I hearn dat all CT cullud generman had ter do wuz ter come up we're an hep hisse'f. Hearn lem say dat offices wuz so thick fur niggers roun' we're dat da jes' nachully fell on CT pusson ez he walked erlong. Tole me dat ez soon ez got we're id find CT knife an iawk stickin' in CT chicken pie. Oats w'ut da lowed"
 I have nothing to do with that, old man."
 "I know dat, sah, an ain't holdin' it ergin yer, but it's suthin' else dat wanter 'scuss wid yer I's keepin' CT sorter vegetable sto' roun' wander, an I'se erfeerd dat desc we're furren gener- men is CT layin' CT plot ter 'stroy my bizness."
 "How?"
 "W'y, un'erstan' dat da's gwine ter take erroun' CT ,tition axin' de gubner ter let deze yere aiierpis off, an dat et CT pussen doan put his sig infer on de paper da gwinter make folks quit tradin' wid him. wouldn't mine it so much, but de raskil O CT generman dat rents my house rum says dat ef does sign de contrack he will raise my rent Now, w'ut's I gwine ter do?"
 "The affair is entirely beyond my control, old man."
 "Say 'tis?"
 "Entirely so."
 "Den whut's gwine ter dor" "I don't know.o
 "But it pear like ter me yer oughter know. Yer say dar aim no doubt erbout yer bein' de mayor"
 "Yes, say that"
 "An' still yer doan know? Lemme tell yer: got CT brudder dat libs in CT town in Tennessee, an Lige-dat's his name, named arter ole man Lige Bell dat built de big brick house at de fawks O de road. Some fellers threatened to whup Lige, da did, an Lige he tole de mayor am de mayor he sorter scratched his head, he did w,v ho hod tpouu .iUa aonao ha vUuz
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
GREAT ADVANTAGES.

 possession of the west that people who are looking for locations have become accustomed to high exaggera- ton.
 "Do you want to sell your farm?" was asked of an old fellow.
 "Wouldn't mind it."
 "Land rich?"
 "Cream's pore compared with it." "Ilealthful neighborhoodp" "Ain't nobody ever died here yit Cal. Gruder's son died some time ago in Texas an they fotch him home to bury him, an dinged if he didn't get well before they got through with the funeral scrmon,"
 'lt must be healthful."
 "That's whut it Is. Sec that fellar goin' long yander?"
 "Yes."
 "Walks pretty we'll, don't he?" "Fust rate"
 "Wall, know something about him in connection with this here climate that will sound sorter strange" "W hats that?"
 "Wall, when that fellcf come here he had only one leg
 "You don't mean it2"
 "Yes, do."
 "l have heard 80 much concerning this part of the country that am now prepared for almost anything, but must confess that you astonish me"
 its fact, all the same. Only had one leg when he come here, but putty ksoen another one commenced to grow out"
 "Grew right on the stump of the old one, eh2"
 "No. sir; never had n stump. Was borned with only one leg. Do you know that thar ain't man in this county that draws pension from the government?'
 No, is that fact?"
 "A flat footed fack Their arms an legs have growcd out till the govern ment has refused to give 'em pen sions."
 "Good fruit country"
 "Weli, toierabie, but 1t ain't very good fur apples, fur the trees grow so high that the young apples die of the cold. See that long row of big trees over yonder?"
 "Yes.'
 w hen came here they had jest been set out. They were telegraph poles at first, but shortly after they was put out, although they were dead when they were put out, they com menced growin' an they jest had to take the wires off of 'em an let 'cni rip. Wonderful country, ain't it?" "Yes; by the way, what will you take for your placer"
 ''Pll sell 1t to you cheap, considerin' the fack that they air about to lay of town on it. You may have my fifty acres for hundred dollars"
 "Thats certainly cheap
  Reckon it is. What do you say?" "It Is suspiciously cheap. Why are you so anxious to sell!"
 "Wall, as I tell you, they air goin' to build town here an don't want no noise an confusion about me. What do you sayl"
 "Don't believe want to buy" "Say, take it for fifty dollars. 1 kant stand noise, recolleck." "No, I don't care to invest. "How would twenty-five strike you?"
 Mot very we'll"
 "What would you say to fifteenI" AEo, Pm obiige to you"
 "Wall,. git outen here, Dow-git! {! You would paralize any boom the country ever saw. Bill," calling his son, @fetch my gun out here, an if this feller's in sight three minits from now I,lI fn "a a crack af him Gtf W
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

One sensible suggestion, though ill expressed, is worth whole world of polished literary growing.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

"Any thing you want in my lyiR to-night?" asked the reporter of the city editor.-M Merchant TrureLev.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01
VOL. II. NO. l9.
LIM NINGS.

There is a cave in Alabama known as the Jug. It is mentioned as the future home of the prohibitionists.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

"In literature there seems to be a man constantly catching our ideas, said a writer. "Ycs." some one re- joined, and the trouble is that he catches them before you do."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-10-01

At a Chicago lunch counter. Mis- sourian (to companiom-"Whut's them fellers doin' over thar?"
 Companion-"|ating."
 Missourian-"Wall,P Pll be blamed, ef didn't think they wuz a-shuckin' con-
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
a Brisk Blind Man.

A familiar figure in London is that
of blind old man who runs after Il
dog. The blind man has placard on
his chest, and in other respects he is
like the typical blind beggar, but he
runs along after his little four-foo:ed
guide in a very original fashion. Sue h
guides usually move along at a snail S
pace; this little creature either runs or
moves at brisk trot. The result is
that the master and dog are enabled to
pass swiftly through great crowds. In
some of the thoroughfares men with
good eye-sight move slowly and with
difficulty; but the besger and beggar's
dog cut swath wherever they go.
The old mans stick is no sooner heard,
hurriedly Notwithstanding on
the pavement, than the foot-passengers
stand aside to avoid a collision
Golden D0ys
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24

WHO takes care of you:'' she asked.
Father does. We've got beautiful
father. You ought - see him.
"Who takes care of you when he is
at work."
''He takes all the care before he goes
off in the morning and after he comes
back at night Has a house-painter;
but there isn't very much work this
winter. so he is doing laboring till
spring comes. He leaves us q warm
breakfast when he goes of; and we
have bread and milk for dinner.
and good supper when he comes
home. Then he tells US stories and
plays on the fife. and cuts out beautiful
things with his jack-knife. You ought
to see our father and our home. they
are both so beautiful
Before long. the teacher did see that
home and that father. The room was
a poor attic. graced with cheap
pictures, autumn leaves and other lit
tie tribes that cost nothing. The
father. who was preparing the evening
meal for his mO.herless boys. was at
first glance ONLY a rough. begrimed
laborer; but, before the stranger had
been in the place ten minutes. the
room became palace and the man q
magician. Y. Examiner.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
DOMESTIC SERVICE.

The Only WAY I'm Which It Can He Mace
Passably Popular.
There is no question, when every
thing else has been said. that the thing
which more than al! else operates to
keep many women from domestic
service is the feeling that it is socially
degrading. The house servant is con-
sidered rs of 4 lower caste than the
shop girl or factory operative. No one
can give an intelligent reason why this
is so; but the fact stands out in sharp
distinctiveness. It is an utterly I'M
reasonable prejudice, and it has its
influence. more or less, with all of us.
And the unfortunate thing about it is
that argument has little weight against
prejudice.
Nevertheless. if we know where the
root of the evil lies we can set ourselves
to overcome it. If il is intrins:caliy as
honorable to prepare the meals for a
family and to do the hundred things
that 90 toward making domestic life
comfortable as it is to do endless sti CHI
ing Oh undergarments; if it requires
more Intelligence and versatility to be
competent domestic servant than to
run a machine with its incessaat repeti-
ton OF the same thing over end over
again. then let us say so and feel so.
The unreasonable prejudice may gradu-
ally be overcome. It can not be batter
ed down with logic-we are speaking
of society in general-but we believe it
may be gradually lived down. Then we
shall have relief for those whose pride
keeps them from an occupation in
which they think they will lose caste.
We shall have also better services than
is now too often the case. But this
improved feellng-for it is feeling
more than thinEing-will he growth.
What we should aim at is to get it
growing vigorously as rapidly as posi-
bic.
Let us "a! that very much may be
done here by individual effort. Every
employer of domestic servants can do
much to show that she regards their
labors as worthy and themselves as
entitled to respect. She can eyince a
personal interest in them and can cu!-
tivate in them wise self-esteem.
There is no need of waiting for COM
bined socia! movement in this direc-
ton. Let individual effort b. put
forth and good will follow. Christian
Yorker.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
FOB OUR YOUNG READERS.
A. KINGS DOMINION.

The carpet in the parlor is no better than the
OF the carpet in the library one can say little
more;
There's good one in the dining-room, although
it's rather small;
But the carpet in the nursery Is incest of them
all.
There's palace in the middle, circled with a
wall Of black,
With moat of yellow water, four brown path
ways running back
Through a fear,,l, frightful forest from the
windows t. the door,
Round four lakes Of deep dark water with
green griflins on the shore.
At the corners there are castles and in one
King Arthur reigns;
In the north one is q giant and the south is
Charlemagne's.
But the castle in the corner by the closet is the
best.
and from this rulc my kingdom and reign over
all the rest.
Dut the middle park and palace are a very won
drous place
Statues, vases, fairies, graces, flowers and bow
through all the space,
'Tis gaSien OF enchantment, and the dreadful
ogress there
Is my sister-You should see her when she rum
PIES up ucf
Now, it's very, very seldom that Til play with
dolls and girls
Cause used to go in dresses. with my hair like
Mary's curls;
But there's first-rate fun in playing, on rainy
indoor day,
That her dolls captive Princess to be res
cued in a fray.
So with Knights OF the Round Table and with
Pal.dns of France,
Chariemagne and I and Arthur through the
wicked wood advance;
And We always have such contests, before all
these wilds are crossed,
With the giant and the grifnns, that half our
knights are lost.
But at last we reach the portals, and the lovely
Princess see,
Then the oyress, with her magic, captures every
one but me;
And Transferred to wood and pewter in her dun
geOus they rcpinc-
But bear away the Princess. SO the victory is
Eiinc
-Ernss: Whitnsy, in 81. Nicholas. :!
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
PROPERTIES OF COCOA.
4 South American Travellers Experie:ac
With the Stimulant.

\ South American Travellers Experience
With the Stimulant.
One of the greatest articles of con-
sumption Of the Indians is the cocoa
leaf. 1t is universally used by them.
MANY do not even know what tobacco
is. The Indians alone use it. The So
called bon ton have cast it aside. writes
a traveller in Bolivia. l gave it ::
thorough test desiring to study its
properties. For five days before start
ing l took my regular fig.s In place of
breakfast consumed about two ounces
of cocoa leaves. chewing them and
swallowing the saliva. l was as
tonished at the result. went all day
without eating. travelling on mule
back. In the evening mot only felt no
bad effect. excepting little restless
ness. but arrived quite fresh. l feel
confident that too little attention has
been paid to this invaluable natural
stimulant. The Quichoas have used il,
for centuries, and have thriven with
it, They travel forty and fifty miles q
day on foot, with no other food than a
little cocoa tied round their necks in
small pouches. One of these Indi ans is
more grateful to you for a handful of
fresh cocoa than for money.-M T.
journal.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
Suffering Womanhood.

Too much effort can not be made to bring
to the attention of suffering womanhood the
great value of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound as remedy for the diseases
Of women. Such an one is the wife Of Cen
eral Barringer, of Winston, N. c., and we
quote from the Generals letter IS follows: :
"Dear Mrs. Pinkham: Please allow me to
add my testimony to the most excellent
medicinal qualities of your Vegetable Com
pound. Mrs. Barringer was treated for
several years for what the physician called
Leucorrh9a and Prolapsus Uteri COM
bined. Isent her to Richmond, Va, where
she remained for six months under the
treatment of an eminent Physician without
any permanent benefit. She was induced
to try your medicine and after q reasonable
time commenced to improve and is now
able to attend to her business and consid-
ers herself fully relieved" General Barrin-
ger is the proprietor of the American Ho-
tel, Winston, N. c., and is widely known. ]
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
Blowing Up Hell Cato

has been a laborious and costly work, but
the end justities the effort. Obstruction in
any important channel means disaster. OBJ
s<ructions in the organs of the human body
bring inevitable disease. They must be
cleared away, or physical wreck will fol-
low. Keep the liver in order, and the pure
blood courses through the body, conveying
health, strength and life; let it become dis.
impurities, which result in disease and
death. No other medicine equals DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery for
acting upon the liver and purifying the
blood
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
BUILDING A RAILROAD.

4 Story Which Explains Some Things and
Leaves Other Things for Young Wits to
Find Out.
Come; boys" said Will to tho 9TH
ers, I'm tired of this humdrum play.
Let's get up something new and big"
Agreed" came from the others
'bat what shall it be, WHIP"
"A railroad" was the prompt re-
ply.
And they all shouted: "a railroad!
hurrah, boys! that's just grand. Wen
do it. But who knows hOw?"
Il do" came from Will. Fathers
an engineer, and you see l hear him
talk to mother about it every day."
'.Your father an engineer!' ex-
claimed several. Don't Mike Riley
and Tim Sullivan run all the engines?"
And Will answered with loud .'Ha.
ha. ha! Run engines! ha, ha, ha!'
and his sides shook with laughter.
Compare my father to Mike and Tim!
Ny father builds railroads.
An they all said "Oh"' "But what
is the first taing. viii. to build Il rail-
road9 A spade and hoe, or WHAT"
Money; ten hundred thousand dol
lars, and just as much more us you can
get. Father says you can do any thing
with money; but all the money in the
world couldn't have saved little sister
Rose from dying" At that large
tear came to Wills eve, and the boys
all looked al him in silence.
Then he wiped his eyes and went on:
"Come. boys. say how much you'll give
to the new railroad"
Thereupon WIN smoothed off spot
in the sand and wrote his name. and
opposite he put. 1.-The right of way and
no charge for engineering.
And what's the right OF way?'"
they asked.
''You can't build roads in the air.
You must have ground. and when you
get it. you've the right Of way See?
I'll gst that from father. down in the
orchard. along the trout brook"
Good for you. WILL they all
shouted.
wv Nou II 1Vl titt tiCS-
Alec. for the rails. and Jim for the roll
Ing stock; Dan must bald the depot.
Come up. now. and sign like men OF
enterprise. B, liberal and prompt
and we'll have the ears RAINING by the
first of June. and declare dividend
OF fun at leaSt-every day."
All this speech from VIII. And each
one w,ote his name under Wills say
inc what he would give or do.
Then came the word of command
from our young engineer:
Now to business. Each one to hi
home as fast as his legs will carry him.
and bring an axe or spade or hoe or
some tool. I'll run to father for the
char.er-what' that? Then let's make
the dirt fly"
When l went by few days after, by
the foot of the orchard. sure enough.
there they were; coats off. each one
busy rs a bee. Will acting as engineer.
The grading what's that? was
nearly all done. Will said they would
lay the ties-what are t,ey?-and
rails (?) the next Monday. and soon l
should hear the whistle.
True to his promise. on the appointed
day came the ''tOot, foot. tOot," louder
and louder till the hills sent back the
sound
looked. and there came the train.
built of wood '.from stem to STERN
and drawn by two stout goats, instead
of steam, while Jim sat on the engine
with tin horn to his mouth, his
cheeks pulled out like two pumpkins.
That's years ago. Will is now Mr..
William -, first-class railroad
man. 30 are some of the others
RdnSy.
Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-24
Both So Beautiful.

''Tell your mother you've been very
good boys to-day" said school teach
er to two little new scholars.
''Oh!' replied Tommy, 1--WE haven't
any mcther.'