Roseburg review. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 1885-1920, 1887-01-21
EXPENSIVE.

in Lynn who will not be likely to for
get the fact very soon that he, too,
bought goat for his two boys. He
was telling neighbor about it few
days ago, and before he got through,
he had an interested audience OH both
sides of his garden fence.
CHOW much do yoa think that goat
has cost mel" asked the owner of the
animal, which was grazing contentedly
Gil the fragment of saucepan lid in
the back yard.
"Well, [ don't know" replied the
neighbor, examining the animal critic
ally; perhaps five dollars"
Give dollars That wouldn't pay
for one Of his escapades. No, sir.
That goat is worth its weight in silver
dollars. If I keep him much longer
he will be worth mole than l am"
Expensive to keep, IS he?"
Expensive! I'll tell you. The very
first day brought him here he licked
the fresh paint off the new fountain in
the front yard. The painting cost five
dollars. Then he got hold of six new
shirts hanging on the line and chewed
the wristbands of. That was damage
of three dollars. | thought his work
was over for the day, but before he
said good night to the folks he man.
aged to break his rope and swallow six
varieties of tulip-bulbs for which my
wife had paid ten dollars. Let's see.
Five and three are eight ard ten are
eighteen. Eighteen dollars day aud
board and lodging"
"Why don't you get rid of hiu-seIl
him or somethingf
"Well the boys think he is great
fun, and it would break thier hearts to
lose him now. They are much at
tached to him. He is much attached
to them, too.
''Do you think it would break his
heart to leave them?"
"What! the goats heartl No, he
hasn't any He does not seem to have
any internal organs except a stomach.
But don't know. Some times l
think / may be obliged to sell him or
give him away before great while.
"Last night we heard a dreadful
noise down stairs, and my wife thought
it was caused by burglars. l went
down with revolver in one hand and
a student lamp in the other, and found
that goat in the kitchen. The girl
had left the back door unlocked, and
the goat had got loose and butted it
open. What do you suppose he was
doing?
"Well, he had licked all the custard
out Of three custard pies which stood
on shelf by the pantry, and he had
pulled two pots of ounce preserves off
a window sill and was standing there
looking like an idiot among the broken
glass and the pieces of ounce and
flowing syrup.
"When he saw me, he lowered his
head and came Cor me, bis forehead
glistening with syrup and custard pie.
L didn't know whether to fire the
lamp or the revolver at him, but be-
fore [ had time to decide, he struck me-
Were you ever hit by goatl"
"No, did it hnrtl"
'Hurtf No, but I was almost scared
to DEATH Luckily the lamp went out,
and the revolver didn't go off. If it
had, presume l should have shot my
self instead of the goat. The goat and
l had a sort of special wild beast show
all by ourselves. I persuaded him to
go out after awhile, and then counted
up the damage.
LAMP broken, FIVE dollars; two
kitchen chairs spoiled, three dollars;
not counting the pies and preserves,
the whole performance was cheap at
ten dollars. My wife thought was
fighting with fifteen or sixteen burg
lars, and had Mysteries the rest Of the
night.
l feel little sore and discomfort ed
myself, but I guess I've got the beast
corralled now l bought new rope
this morning, and the boys have gone
to school, so think we'll have little
peace till night comes"
Just then boy, who had been
punching the goat through the fence
with piece of barrel hoop, called
OUT
"Mister, your goats loose"
1t was a hard fact and one which |
the Lynn man grasped slowly as he
turned away from his neighbor only to
see that goat which had slipped its
collar over its head in some mysteri
ous way, stolidly nipping the buds
from some rare tuJeroses in his wife's
favorite flowerbed.
'I'll sell him, if there is anybody in
the states who will buy him~
Poor Billy! He could not help his
active temperament and the instinct