The Irish standard., 1887-11-19
BUILDING Liars.
CI,e Paint OF q Han WHO Eta: Given sFi,,,
- self Intff Their fsnarar

.iss
| This world is maca,lamized with liar:
to such an extent that yon can scarce.
l.. believe what appears to be the truth.
Perhaps the greatest liar, aswell as the
one entitled to the hi CHEST award, is
the building liar.
You call upon him in the middle OF
May to see why he hasn' finished the
foundation that he said would be com
plete in April. He Will tell you that
March was So cold that men could not
work in the open air, and that, founda-
! tion made in such a temperature would
not last.
When You ask him. q little later Oh,
| why the house is not l;,tled, lie tells
You the nlau he engaged to do that
work is in The hospital, having only
two days before fallen off another
| building III course OF erection. Finally
the lathiny is done, aud u week OF two
later you casually ask the builder if
there is going to be any plaster put on.
He tells you the plastes. can not be put
on until after the gas-pipes have been
put in.
Then you 60 to the man who has the
plumbing contract. He admits frankly
that he is behind, simply because the
furnace pipes have not been put in. He
assures you that if his work were al
| ready done, that the plaster could not
60 on until after the pipes from the fur
mace were in also.
Then you 60 to the furnace man to
know why the pipes have not been put
in He tells you that if all the furnace
pipes We're in, the gaS-pipes would have
to go in, also. before any plastering
could be done, and refers YOU to the
plumber.
The man YOU engage to erect your
iron fence is not strictly a builder, but
he is sufficiently identified with build
ing to lie fairly we'll. The fence you
order OH the 1st of March he doesn't t
put up until June the oath, owing to
the, to him, pleasant fact that he chad
u number Of big orders from New
Haven In all probability he never
had an order from New Haven, unless
it was an order to leave the town inside
Of twenty -four hours.
AS you ;.re lingering about, you sud-
denly see IL strange dog come bounding
outo of the hole that is going to he win
dow. You ask where the windows are,
and couple OF men who are down in
the cellar pretending to be doing some
thing tell you that they have been dis
appointed i'll not getting tie window
weights. Consequently, every window
waits till they get ready to put them in.
If you are not around ON the look
out, or if you depend on an architect
to superintend the b uilting while he
sits in his New York office. you will
get pine where the specifications call
for some thing else, and the some thing
else will be painted, that you may not
discover that you are getting the
wrong kind OF wood.
Ii you have the work done by con-
tract, youl: house will not be properly
built until after you have been i'll it
three years. But it will be built swift
}y-aln1ost while you wait But il you
have it done by days work, you WON'T
get in for a year after the house is
promised. This is because the men WHO
work by the day are conscientious, and
take their time, and their time is
money. Almost any time you can iind
them playing poker on d lime c-barre'.
Then the house is not painted, be-
cause the Boston concern hasn' sent
on the creosote stain; and the mantels
can t be made. because the architect.
whose stock in trade is u pair Of eye
glasses, has forgotten to send on the
plans; and the panel~work is not fin
ished, because the factory has not been
able to turn it out, owing to a fire.
After you are in you find your beams
are not the right thickness, and that
your double-foors are single; and that
the man who rubbed the varnished
closet-doors down with pomicc-stone
didn't touch the insides. You would
like to touch his insides with Il load of
No. shot; but by this time lie is lost
to sight and memory any thing but
dear.
If Job himself were building house
to-day, his patience would not last half
as long as the patience of Gil.ert
and Sullivan did. He would rush
wildly from the building, and jump
against barbed-wire fence for COM
fort and consolation.
For the avera ye builder never builded
half so well as he knew. Suppose the
birds did not finish their nests until
some time in September! Suppose the
beavers didn't get their winter homes
built until March! If they didn't, they
would be on a level with the builder
who promises Il house in May, and
gives it to you the following January.
If we had our way, we would have
all the builders killed by architects.
Then we would have the authorities
hang the architects.
An Economic Provision.
ssi wonder,' said man on railway