The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1887-03-12

because OIL wing SO mucn lrulCS
No pick had Adam, I believe,
The only woman then was Eve;
But he no d, lbt deemed her prize
He took her md lost Paradise!
I'll. .quise in Norrist0wn Herald
THE MAJORS STORY.
The Miraculous Shot by Which British
Officer Saved His ColonePs Life.
ssBy the living jingo," cried the Major,
stretching out his legs little farther I'm.
der the mess table, and bringing down his
hand upon it with such force that the
glasses rang again-"by the living lingo!
don't believe there's man in the regi-
ment, or in the whole British army either,
that's had as many, aye, or half as many,
narrow squeaks for his life as have"
General attention was Immediately con.
centrated on the Major, for the above
speech was familiar to all present. When
it burst from the Majors lips we all knew
that his wonderful memory had recalled ia
him some hairbreadth escape, some daring
exploit of which he was the hero; or,
which was just as good, that his equally
wonderful imagination had conjured up
some such picture, still having himself for
the center figure.
And when the Majors memory or mag
ination supplied him with an anecdote, he
was always generously eager to impart it
to his friends and brother officers. Indeed,
we had heard most of his stories three
times at the very lowest rate of computa-
ton, but then they were retold with such
humorous variations and additions that
they never fell fiat on our ears.
It was just like listening to some we'll
known tune played s'with variations, -
where you are hardly able to pick out the
original air from the multitude of trills
and turns and Quavers in which it is
shrouded. So with the Majors stories.
Sometimes, hearing one for the second
time, we hardly recognized it as an old
friend until the grand denouement was
reached, all the details having altered SO
marvelously since the first time Of re-
cital
But let the Major tell the story that is
evidently trembling on the tip of his
tongue in his own way and without fur
Their interruption or explanation.
'sAnd what's more, besides having got
safely out of some very pretty scrapes N.Y.
self, as you all know''-here there was a
loud chorus of asserting voices, and q fer
vently uttered ''True for you, Major, and
the saints be praised for that same!" from
young Irish sabaltern, lately joined, to
whom the Majors stories still wore the
gloss of novelty, though his irreverent and
meagerly- walled skepticism caused that
eloquent raconteur to view him with some
suspicion I'll dare say you also know" he
continued, "that I've helped to get other
men out of them, too. But don't know
that ever saw any man-except myself,
of course-nearer being swallowed by the
jaws of death than our Colonel was one
day out in India. For some time past we
had had no regular fighting, and were in
hopes that we might be able to negotiate
peace without further bloodshed. But
meanwhile there was kind Of petty guer-
rilla warfare going on. The cowardly ours
of natives never showed themselves open
~, but would hide in the woods by which
our camp was pretty well surrounded"
IA right spot for picnic party, but a
quare situation for a camps' murmured
the subaltern, who was promptly adjured
to ''Dry up, and let the Major speak!''
Concealed in this covert, they would
pick off one man here and another there,
from immense distances; for, you know,
they had got possession of lot of old
rifles, and when once they found out how
to use them, they were beggars to shoot.
And the most aggravating part Of it was,
discovered, yet if you did get hold Of them,
and it came to the point, they didn't seem
to mind being killed in the least. AS sure
as Pm living man, they seemed, like the
eels, rather to enjoy it. I suppose they
knew there were plenty more to follow;
but, 'pon my honor, it's astonishing how
cheap those fellows seemed to hold human
life
swell, as was going to say, our Colonel
was as brave man as ever breathed the
breath of life, but he was rash, terribly
rash; and one day he was strolling about
between the camp and the wood when I
happened to catch sight of aim. The very
place where poor Willis was bowled over
last week. said I to myself. 'sl'll just keep
an eye on the Colonel, and see that he
comes to no harm.
$50 strolled out after him, and then I
remembered that after Willis was shot by
some scamp lurking among the trees, we
had posted sentries at short distances
along the outer edge of the wood. We
called it wood, but it was really only
long, narrow belt of trees skirting the
camp. However, I thought might as we'll
walk round to where the sentries were on
duty, and make sure that all was right.
But when got to the place where I could
nave Sworn Gue urSG vi tlem OuSuI W nave
been standing, there was no sentry there.
SO went on to the second post, but it was
deserted, too, and so was the third and
the fourth! In fact, there was not man
out Of the half dozen to be found.
sOf course, knew at once that there
was some treachery on foot, and resolved to
hurry back to the camp to give the alarm.
So of I started in hot haste. Itook short
cut through the wood in the direction of the
camp, but hadn't got more than half way
across when a thick clump Of brushwood
aroused my suspicious as very likely
place for an enemy to be skulking in. So,
keeping my revolver in readiness, INVENT
up to it, resolved to unearth any of the
tricky scoundrels who might have chosen
it as snug little spot in which to lie pe,'du.
I plunged in boldly, but keeping sharp
lookout
.'When got into the middle, there was a
small open space, and in it lay-you may
judge of my horror when came suddenly
upon them-the bodies of six murdered
men, huddled one upon the top of the other.
Soldier though was, and don't think an
over-cowardly one, ! felt inclined to turn
and fy from the horrible sight You may
hardly credit it, but the bare recollection
of it makes my tongue feel as if it were
glued to the roof of my mouth.'
A remedy fo this unpleasant sensation