The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-16
BRIGHT BITS.

"OUT Of every 100 female school teachers, =
says an exchange, seven marry every year. "
The seven seem to be doing business fof the
whole l09.--LynR Item
DEMA-How is Mrs. Grenadine latelyS Is she
perfectly reconciled to the loss of her husband?
Believes, ] think so. Her mourning fits
beautifully Citizen.
A TEAMsTER hauling load of marble in Yer.
mont fell asleep and then fell off his load and
was badly injured. He dreamt he dwelt in
marble haus. "--DetrOH Free Press
Miss FLossIE BooKMARx Ito newcomer in
town)-Hes, we have two churches here, the
Church of the Redeemer and Mr. Cooper's
church, and we all like dear MIR. Cooper so much
the best Puck.
EMILE ZorA received 500 900 from his pen last
year, and a Western paper says there is a hog
raiser in Kansas who got twice that from bis
pen. And no doubt the hog-raiser's pen is the
cleaner of the two.--NorJtstos0n Herald
TIE OTHER DAY. in an elevator car, an absent
minded college boy, IS years old was seated in
his ehun's lap. a beautiful young lady en-
tered. In a jffy he was up, and politely re-
moving his hat, offered her his seat.-Ep0ch.
''1s there any benefit in moropolles?" asked
the teacher.
There is, answered the smart bad boy.
And what is it,?
"Owning an interest in one" He was kept in
two hours.
MAKING THINGs EvES.-"David," said the SD
perintendent was manly boy"
Il don't know how that was" said the smart
bad boy; but job was boily man. just the
same"
And it was So Exchange.
JoNEs-I say. Smith, saw a great magician
last night. He could give you lemonade. or any
drink you wanted, out OF white hat.
Smith-That $ nothing; we've got a grocer on
our corner who can give you Csc, doc and 45c
butter out of the same tub.-HdrDet's Bazaar.
VIOLENT RAIN sToRM-crowded street car
handsome lady and gentleman platform
Gentleman Ito those inside)-Can you squeeze a
lady in there?
Chorus of male voiceS-Yes, certainly
Lady goes in--gets squeezed. Ne'os
BRowN-How are You getting on with your
patent fire escape. Smith
smith, won't be able TO push it much until
my leg gets better But it's a big thing.
Brown-What's the matter with your leg?
Smith broke it while testing the fire es-
cape.-NeIC York sam.
Book AGENT Ito woman at the door)-Do you
give any of your time, madam, to things of a
literary nature? have here
Madam-Yes; when anything of literary
nature comes around an wants to sell me some
fool book, / kin alters find time to set the dog on
it. Here Tge. Tige,
No sale effected -Harper's Bazaar.
YOUNG CRIMsoNBEAK-Go again for dinner
today
well, declare I've boarded here for three
years and think you've had goose for dinner
nearly every day
Il guess you're right, Mr. Crimsonbeak. You
very seldom miss meal ''-YOitkerS Statesman
He had received an invitation to wedding.
and had quite forgotten all about it. It was the
daughter of professional friend who was to be
married. week after the invitation had come
he met the father on the street, and the affair
occurred TO him, With great blandness he said:
''Oh, received your invitation. | shall be most
happy TO attend your daughters wedding
When is t?n f-
Last night, " said the father, and walked on.
-Sda francisco Chronicle.