Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-05-22
MR. M Mrs. nowsER.
Bower Declares That Her Husband is
Kind Hearted, but ssdmits That He is
Prone 70 Error.

Mrs. Bower Declares That Her HUSBAND Is
Kind Hearted, but aldmits That He is
Prone to Error.
Detroit Fro Press.
l would not have the world get the I'M
preston that Mr.. Bowser is not a kind
hearted and loving husband. True, there
are times when he is bIunt-spoken and in
consistent, but ther are other times when
he is an angel. For instance, he came
home the other day with a very tender
smile on his face, kissed me in an uneS-
pected and vigorous manner, tickled the
baby in the ribs, and then exclaimed:
"Guess what it is, Mrs. Bowser?'
"What?"
whats in this parcel?"
l couldn't guess, and after teasing me for
a few minutes he put his arm around me
and chuckled: ,..
otis for my popsy-wopSy-wlfey, n L
had 'em send to New York for it? Give me
a kiss right on the chin"'
1t was a lace collar, and the price mark
of S22 had been carefully left on it. l tried
hard to keep 4 smiling face and not let
him see my disappointment, and succeed
ed pretty well. He had gone to some es-
adjustment where they had put mp a job
on bin. j could have bought that same
collar for S. when it was in style, and now
the style was two years old. They simply
pretended to send away for it, and then
charged him $22 under the idea that he was
some country widower. / felt like crying,
but managed to say:
Now, dear, how good and thoughtful
of YOU! You are the best of hnsbands"'
''Of course 1 am, my pet. And isn't a
loving husband one of the best Of hus-
bands? We are to 90 over to SykOffs to-
night to O progressive euchre party, and i
got the collar Just in good time. You'll
be the envy OF all the ladies. Hip-la!
incest little wife and prettiest baby in the
wOrld!'
wanted to get out OF wearing that col
lar without iniuring his feelings, and so /
sent mother down TO exchange it. She
could find nobody to take it, but brought
home one for "a, which would do very
well, considering that l am a plain woman
and never attempt any style. Poor, dear
Bowser couldn't tell the difference, but
when he saw me with it on he patted me
Oh the head and observed:
"Ah! ha. little sweetness, but maybe l
haven't got taste and don't know what
becomes YOU! Now You look like n lady!
Now YOU have some style about you! And
lust remember that | selected that pat
term
praised him and called him my dear
Rnwsnr and he went about the house look
ing so happy that the cook finally came i'll
to me ana whisperingly inquired.
'Have you telephOned YETI"
"TO whom-ior what?"
$40 the p~olice?'
"What for?'
''To he on hand in case be becomes dan
gerous. I'm expecting every minute when
he'll give a grand yell and rush for the axe
and chop us to pieces ~,
why, Sarah, nothing ails Mr.. Bowser,'
''WeIl, | hope mott hope not-but
shall leave the back door open n he pre-
pared to run. When sOpie folks are on the
point of going crazy they smile and grin
and act up just as he is doing to-day
As n rule, when | am getting ready to
90 out with Mr.. BOwser he jumps up from
the supper table tO give his boots three
rubs with the brush-tO wallOp his hair
with the comb for Is seconds--to rub his
plug hat on his elbow, and then to begin
on me with:
Come, now, hut we shall be late! /
never saw how long it does take you to get
ready! | suppose you'd want to stop and
primp and paint and fix and look just so
nice il You were going to he hung!'
This evening he took 20 minutes to get
himself ready, and then sat down to his
cigar and said:
mo hurry, dear! Take all the time you
want to. five happen to he late I'll tele-
phone fora coupe to take us over"
On the way over 30 SykofNs Mr.. BOwser
put his arm around me, and he kissed the
baby before We started, and he said to the
cook us W. went out:
Sarah, if your John Henry comes
around this evening you can open a bottle
of that wine, and tell him I'll pay the
preacher when you are ready to be mar
ried."
would that | could continue the record
of Mr.. Bowser's good deeds n few hours
longer. but | must stick to the truth. The
| evening WIS llOb uhll ONNi IN
a change on his face aud realized that some
thing was wrong. We had scarcely left
the house after the party broke mp, when
he gave my arm q pinch and exclaimed:
"Now, then, | want you to understand
that this is the last internal euchre party
You will ever drag me OIL to-"
"Why, dear, what's the matter?'
Don't why dear me, for won't stand
it! You looked like a Eastwood stick and
| felt like a fool, and we had no business
going"
but you wanted to 90"
sob! did! Perhaps you are n mind,
reader! Ifso, you had better start ont and
run opposition to Bishopi You know
consented to come Just to accommodate
YOU, hut I don't do it again!'
''But you were so ~goOd-natured all the
afternoon"
81 was, eh? Well, that shows all you
know about me, and won't speak to You
again tonight