Charlotte messenger. [volume] (Charlotte, Mecklenburg Co., N.C.) 1882-18??, 1887-06-04
W c. SMITH. CIT lRLOTTF. NC.
WIT AND HUMoR.

Another great discovery of diamonds
in Kentucky. A man got five of them
on the first deal.-Fh Philadelphia Press.
The life of the book-agent is full
Of NORWOOD and gall. The worm-
wood is barely perceptible.-Aerchdn
TraUeler.
Nobody appreciates dinner-party in
viiaiiOns more than the society young
man who only has apartments. ."-Bos-
i9H Gazette.
It is said that some children get all
their impressions from their mother.
This. then. Is how slippery men origi-
naie.-Macon Telegraph.
There are in Massachusetts $1,000
more women than men. That is why
Me women have to stand in the horse
oars.-BostOa Transcript
Pretty short sir? Customer
We'll. yes. l am. just put it down on
the slate. will you? Much obliged to
You for speaking Of it-LOsCeH CitizeR
Midnight is called the whiching time
Of night. because at that hour it rs some
times difficult TO determine which 70 do,
go home or whoop it up larger. Life.
Again we would like to remark that
The man who leaves the snow on his
sidewalk is he who drops buttons in the
church contribution box.-Nea0 HaVen
-Nctc&
The interest on q mortgage and 4 gas
meter are alike in going on with their
work whether there is anybody around
10 boss the job or not-FaH RiUsr Ad-
raRce.
Smith with effusion) Hello, Brown,
is that you! heard you were drowned.
Brown (with sadness mo. it was my
brother. Smith (hOughtlessly)-What
pity Washington Critic.
A subscriber asks: Can you send
me a good receipt for good hoarhound
candy?' Certainly We can, dear. Send
along your candy and you will get .
receipt BY return maiL-New HaVe~
NetDs.
Pa" asked young Jobly, "what sort
Of a tree was il that George Washing
ion cut down with his little hatchet-a
cherry?" Chestnut, my son." replied
the old man. absently; chestnut
Pack.
I.andlady examining a fugitive
boarder's trunk)-Why. Bridget, his
trunk is full of bricksl How could they
have got there? ''Sure, ma'am. he
brought one home in his hat livery
night LIFE.
Pa" said Johnny. looking up from
bis book. what does it mean TO pile
Ossa on Pelione" There, don't bother
NE now." replied pa; task your ma. she
understands all about millinery. Boz
Ton TSdhscrip:
..For what is it that my sad soul
yearnsY' asks poetess. We don't
know, dear, unless il is for the editor to
send you q check instead Of the little
note Returned with thanks. ."-NcsO
Haven NesOs.
A Massachusetts, woman recently lost
the use Of her jaw and the doctors say
that she has worn out the muscle that
acts as hinge. We somehow wonder
that this does not occur oftener.-NetO
HareR AeiOS.
why do the heathen rage7" asks .
religious paper. II they got = larger
percentage Of the money collected for
them perhaps they wouldn't rage %
much. We merely offer this as sug.
gesiion.-N y Graphte.
Indeed. it happened In less time
than take 70 tell II" said the lady who
wAs considered somewhat Of q bore.
%. haven't the least doubt OF that
replied her patient and truthful listener.
= Honkers Statesman.
Faith is sometimes represented BY the
figure Of drsnehed female clinging to
= sea-vashed rock; but better person.
ifeation would be a bald-headed man
buying q bottle Of patent hair-restorer.
Shoe and Leather Heporter.
Pa. have you got the hydrophobier
mo. Bertie; vhat makes y1u ask thaa
question: "Well, heard ma say To-
day that you got awfully bitten when
y0u thought she had = fof .uno IN her
own name Haspsr baseT.
London claims the honor Of having q