The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-11
BRIGHT BITS.

AS vet old Colorow can say, mo pent up
Ute taker contracts my powers. "-Pttsburg
Chronicle.
WHY can't the duests of to-day be fair and
square about it and designate as weapons
"Chins, at two miles;"- NdshUtHe american.
A CLERGYMAN who preached in prison not
many Sundays ago began his discourse with:
'Aiy friends, am glad 10 see so many of you
here this morning '-CeGor Rapids Gossip.
MAGtsrRATE-Were you ever arrested before?
Prlsoner-Once before. your honor.
MagiStrate-What was the charge?
Prisoner-Ten dollars and costs.--PhtladeI-
phtd Ne1cS.
On THE Train-Oid lady-Conductor, hope
there amt going to be a collision.
ConductoF-I guess not.
Old LADY, want you to be very keerfuL I've
got two dozen eggs in this basket,-TerGs Sift-
ings.
JOHN, John, there's burglar in the house,
hear him at the cupboard"
Where you put that piey'
I'm going down to rescue him. '-Wdshtng-
ton Critic.
AND so you didn't get elected after all9"
You should have put yourself in the hands
of your friends"
$50 did. But sharpley did better. He put
his money in the hands of his."-Boston Tran
script.
yet?
Harriet--No; not yet: but 1 think he will
soon. Last night he said he looking
around for wife and asked me very particu-
LARRY if thought could earn enough to venture
to marry on.-Lge.
HuNrER-Can you tell me what is the funniest
part of dog:
Farmer-fiis tall guss It's such wag.
No; the funniest part of dog is his lungs"
How do you make that out?'
see. "-Terds SgttRgs.
TEAcHER-Bobby, what do you know about
the ocean?
Bobby Qoudy)-Big ships sail on it.
Teacher-And what do they do on the big
ships when the sea runs high in stormy
weather.
Bobby-Drink brandy and lemon juice.-To,en
Topics.
PAPA, raise the blind, won't your" languidly
requested Maud, as the growing gloom set
tied over the g1th page of Armand the Terri
be-
Papa was snoring mildly, but he managed to
grunt: 'On queen high? Dye take me for q
chump?" and the tired spirit was again waited
into glorious dreamland. -BinghGnIton Repub-
licdn.
so you call this ere tavern a modern hotel
with every convenience do youy" said Farmer
Furrow to the clerk of an uptown hotel.
I'VE fiatter ourselves that this house is emf
nently worthy Of that title, suavey replied the
clerk, with Chesterfieldian courtesy.
well by gosh" yelled the granger, as he
pounded the counter with his horny fist; ''wny'n
thunder don't you have doughnuts and cider on
the table once'n while, anyhow!'-Hotet Mail
JuDGE-Of course you have an excuse readyp
Prisoner-I have, your honor. was full, but
it was for medical purposes. Whisky Is good
for snake bites
Judge-Were you bitten by a snake?
Prisoner-No,- but. your honor, IAN ounce of
prevention is worth q pound of cure"
Judge-l see, see. But you should have con-
fined yourself to the ounce l fine you $40 for
prescribing medicine without a diploma
Omaha Herald.
LOOK Out for Him Next Year-Farmer Du-
Senbury--Yes Liza Jane, the PerkinseS kinder
Knocked Us aout on summer boarders this year
with that minr al spring they fixed up with rock
Salt an alum, but we're a-goin' ter git the
craowd next year, an don't you fergit it.
Liza Jaue-Haow re ye goin' ter manage it,
Lijah?
farmer Dusenbury-Tm goin ter have b'lin'
spring aout in the caow pastur, a haunted room
up in the attic and Washington's headquarters
right here. When 'Lijah Dusenbury humps
hisself, bgosh, faint safe ter buck agin' him.
It'd Bits.