The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-11
BRIGHT BITS.

THESE are e days and they aren't fit for
anything se.-Bulington Free Press.
ABOUT this time look out for the man who is
in the hands Of his Reconsideration Globe
THE title of George w Cables latest lecture
is "Cobwebs in the Church" 1t may be guessed
that Mr. Gable makes some sweeping state
ments.-LotorH Citizen.
THE girl who fills her essay with 1.-THE true,
the beautiful and the good may have learned
how to make cake, but we must refuse to be-
lieve it.Pittsbur9 Dispatch.
This is a sad and bitter world, " remarked
gentleman of Irish extraction. we never
strew flowers q mans grave until after he IS
dead. ",--Wdshtngton Hdtchet.
''THERE is evidently great deal to he learned
There Isl indeed. and the best way to learn it is
to ask some other woman about it.-SomerUttie
Journal
A NEAT proposal of marriage was made by
South Yonliers man the other night, who said:
Now, my dear you say you have 500, OO0in your
own name, why not put it in mine!-YonEerS
Statesman.
FAIR Saturn has silver ring,
The moon a ring of flame;
The sun has got no ring at all,
But he gets there Just the same.
Nebraska State Journal.
NOSE ScHAuMBURG, JR.-Vader, vat ish gap
ital CRIME?
Nose Schaumburg Sr-Ven man takes less
den per shent month for dot capital vat he
lends out Dat vas Won of de most capital
grimes dot der vas.-Terds S0tings.
POSSIBLE PATRoN-What do you charge for
your paper mister?"
Country Editor-Fifty cents year"
MY stars and stripes That's cheap"
Eyes, / put the price so low that no one sub
scrber will think he can bankrupt me by stop
ping his paper.-IIdidndpol Journal.
A DOCTOR who had been attending a dairy
I NIn 9TH
day "How's your mnkmaid?" he asked of the
farmer when he came to the door.
ITS none of your business how our milk is
made, was theiudiCnant response, and the door
slammed most emphatically.-St. Paul Herald
''YouNG BLADE is a very diverting fellow,
isn't hef''
Every, indeed, sir"
Hes lawyer, is he not?"
cob, yes, | thought you understood that.
It's his business that affords him opportunity
TO be diverting, He's continually diverting trust
funds, you know.-YonkerS Gazette.
''How did it happen that you didn't find that
man guilty?' asked a New York man of the
foreman of jury in Dakota; the evidence was
dead against him"
Il know that" was the reply, "but if we'd a
found him guilty we'd Nv had to hang him."
Certainly
''Wel, we're paying taxes enough now. Hang
ms expensive-W Washington critic.
81 AM determined to be embalmed when l
ole, remarked Une young man JudJ DOdTOS on
South Division street. I've been reading that
they can inject poison into you and wrap you
up and take you out in 5000 years time fresher
than Lazarus They tell me a mummy 5000
years old is worth $4,000, and, as it's the only
chance I'll ever have of being worth that much,
I'm going 10 clutch on to the mummy act when
die and the irrcverent young man resumed
his corncob in silence.-BufdIO Courier
81 WISH to report a case of larceny" she said,
as she entered the police station yesterday.
''Yes'm. When did it occur 2"
Last evening"
''At what place."
con a ferry boat, sir"
''What are the particulars?'
''Why. l was with a young man-young
man, and"
''Oh, you were. Well, go on"
"And tell his name"
"Of course"
"And that never saw him before?"
Certainly"
''Then l wont report the case, sir. You are
too particular, and the ring wasn't worth over
50 anyhow - Detroit Free Press.