The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-12-10
Written for The Arkdnsaw Trapeter. SAM HANDWICH'S RENT
BY ALEX. SWEET.

WrlteS SeHSdllOiidi stOTlce lOi tuC uCWS- papers and magazines. Like most men of letters, Sam Handwich is poor, but he never allows that circumstance to disturb him in the least He gener- ally manages to get enough to eat, such as it is, and his time Is so ab- sorbed by his literary labors that he has no opportunity to complain even if he were disposed to do so, which he is not, for he is an optimist and phi losopher. A few mornings ago, while engaged on novel for New York literary paper, there came violent knock at the door.
 "Come in," said Sam, placidly. Mir. Walkover, Sam's landlord, entered. He held folded paper in his hand
 Here is the bill for your rent. would like to have it paid immedi- ately, Mir. Handwich; Tve been wait ing for you to pay for some time."
 "Is it really possible, Mir. Walkover, that you expect me to pay actual cash?"
 "Well, that's just what do expect. It's three months since you have paid cent of rent, and l am tired of your way of doing"
 "So it's three months since I paid you any rent? Great Scott! How time flies! No wonder the ancient Romans said Iempus fagtt. It does fugit, like the mischief"
 "Yes, time passes, but no money passes between us"
 "That's so," replied Sam, "ir you have paid me any money during the last three months it has escaped my memory. Yes, the last three months have been fraught with disaster"
 "Yes, they have been very sad to me-" said Walkover.
 "The events of the last few months, MT. Walkover, have been ve"y sad to everybody. There was that earth quake in Italy and the south of France. Good gracious! How much it must have cost those landlords to repair their houses! feel sorry for them. The wart in the throat of the German crown prince is really alarm ing. 1 fear it is cancer. In our own country there have been many disas- ters. That railroad accident at Chats worth, H., involving great loss of property and hundreds"
 "Well, that's none of our business. We are not to blame for the earth quakes. We are not responsible for the wart in the cro Wn prince's throat, but you are responsible for the rent of these apartments" said Walkover, indignantly.
 ''I am surprised, MT. Walkover, to hear you speak in such frivolous manner of those heart rending disas- ters, entailing such untold misfor- tunes on the human race"
 "That's all bosh. Will you pay me my sixty dollars!"
 ''Is it possible that l owe you that much?"
 "Yes, thanks to my weakness, you have got into it that deep."
 "For Gods sake, MT. Walkover, don't call your noble hearted gener- osity weakness"
 "I want my money sixty dollars are not to be found in the street every day"
 ''Yes, regret to be able to corrobo- rate that statement" replied Sam with sigh.
 "Do you think that it is fun for me to do without my money all the timer"
 "The wise man, MT. Walkover-"
 "Pays his rent" interrupted Walk over.
 "How much disappointment land lords suffer by hugging that delusion in their bosoms! The really wise man learns to deny himself luxuries. Follow my example, and learn to deny yourself"
 "Deny myself what?"
 "The sixty dollars that you are not going to get from me-"
 "AIl right, MT. Sam Handwich, I'll strike of the sixty dollars you owe. I'll make you a present of it."
 "Are you in earnest?"
 "Yes, Pll make you present of the sixty dollars, n-"
 "Ah! So there is an if about it."
 "Yes, will cancel your debt if you move out at once"
 "Move outr' exclaimed Sam, very much amazed. "Why in the world should we part, MT. Walkover2 We have always got along very well to- gether. have never made any com plaints about the price of rent. Why should I want to get rid of you who have been 70 kind and consider ate?"