Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-02-17
STRAY SUNBEAMS.
Gathered as They Sparkle From tbs
Pen of Humor.

Inc man WHO sleeps III CuufVA hoS
nod idea of his immortal soul.
When Mrs. Mackey gives a dinner to
the Prince, she has nine different kinds
OF pie.
There is one place where busybodies
seldom "stick their nose in" and that
is a hornets nest.
The woman you can call a poem is
not the woman You a call early N
the morning to get breakfast.
One thing can be said in favor Of the
ice man. Ii he has any left over he
doesn't warm it up for breakfast
A woman's beauty is most perfect
when it is backed mp by intelligence.
A newspaper hustle is just the thing
In a race for the prize of being called
belle of the ball, it is frequently a neck
and-neck finish with society beauties,
aYour horse has a tremendous long
hitn said a friend to a noted wag. |
ayes" he responded, lit is a bit too
long"
Stranger-Does Mr.. Jones live on
this floor? Musical young lady-No, |
sir. his room is Ill octave higher, In the
next fiat.
Ruth was not a designing woman,
and vet she managed to get as good a
Boaz any ~ ii other girls who both
sewed and rta9ed.
It must be exasperating to the city
beau to reld about counting by the
gate, when he has nothing to lean
against but the scraper.
Hotel Proprictor-"We don't allow
any games III chance here Gambler--
sThis isn't a game nf chance. My
friend here has m chance
A glass bottle factory is to be estab-
lished in Atlanta, Ga. There is a large
local demand in the South which this
enterprise expects 10 supply
If people who mean TO begin to read
should real all the advice to readers
about reading. hey wouldn't have time
to read anything else.
A convict with a ball and chain
attachment, gave as an excuse Tor not
taking a sum II vacation, that he was
too closely tied to business.
sThat is genuine butter" remarked
the oleomhrgarine man, as he gathered
himself up OFF the ground after the
goat had got through with him.
The chronological Journal says: In
choosing a wife, DE governed by her
chin" A man is apt to be governed
by the same thing after he gets a wife.
Even pious souls are sometimes
tempted to lapse into the wanton spirit
of the little maiden who prayed:
"Please, Mr.. God, I'm tired O bein'
made good-won't you kill PAP"
allow long has Brown been married,
Charley?" "Didn't know he was mar.
ried ut all. | don't believe he is either"
ayes, he is; / noticed him turn pale
when the clock struck eleven"
Belle-"M Ma, do you know what cafe
au lait isl" Mrs. Mushroom-"No, ]
don't know exactly, darling; but sup
pose cafe au lay is coffee with an egg
IN it."
Mrs. Gubbins says she never allows
her boy, jim, to eat jam, for her hus
band died of the jim-jams, and sht
don't propose to run any chances will
the boy.
- "a
Mo -,naasnre silver do,ia,
TS}avas do not talre them In larc
Quantities where the transnortation i
limited
The meanest man SO far on recol
lives In New Haven. His wife askt
him to give her q pet. sOme amin
ena wou ha hr Wv " h " . Ioaob
o'ehnis no "o"
A little thrce-gear old girl discovere
n%eighb0r's hen scratching in the ga
den, and running into the house 81
said to her mother in "a most indignal
tone: "Ma, that hen next door
"ipihg her iee' oi o"i siaS''
Judge-"Hayo you anything to SO
before the court passes sentence upo
you?" Prison, ~ :" Well, all | got I
say is. l hope yer honor II consider th
extreme youth and greenness of N
lawyer, an lot me III easy"
aAdirondack" Murray, the eccentr
preacher. is married again. His boaste
knowledge Of " How to Cook a Bee
steak" will now serve him a good turl
but the chances are that he will expeI
his wife to furnish the steak.
uw... n, -, 40, .
change. "Beclnse. first, her feet we
awfully cold: second, he had been
bed an hour, therefore warm and col
Portable: third. what is q husband 90
for il not to warm his wife's feet Q
ANYWAY?
Ono ~ our sxchanoea nrints n II,
editnria, entit,ad Zine Rgeo of Bras,
If ia believed the article was inspir
by a recent visit of u patent medici
agent who wautei n column ADVERT
ment n year and lifty-two readi
notices inserted for 1872, to be tab
out in silver S%earcher."
rotrro,,et has sat,ssed him,
hanond q Jn,ht that the averag
puy va,o q d;sta,,sa nf a;Thtv u;les ev
n;aht Tha~ Il mnst he tha other
n tnst s,+a "n tha hacp fsnce sev,
b b"v ' eyerv ninbt loudly comnlain
81 h h;gh taves or somethino