Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1887-02-09


an de chllren weepin' fur shoes. Dat
means dat de volume Of currency has been
contracted, an de grocer hain't gwine to
to trus' YOU fur Goldfish much longer.
''Dis subjick Of currency should be giben
deep thought. Lots Of folks go slosin'
around widout eben re1ectin' on why
dey didn't make twenty-dollar gold pieces
outer brass. / hold heah in my hand a
dollar greenback dat Waydown Bebee has
kindly loaned me fur do occashun. 1t am
but piece of paper Why can't you cut
piece out of a paper bag and pass it off
as a dollar. Why isn't dc half of a moose
paper as valuable as hundred dollar
bill. Why am hunk of gold any more
valuable dan hunk of lead. A nickle
am twice as big as n dime, but it am wuth
only half as much. Why. Sich am few
of de queshuns You should ponder over
an post up on, an de furder you enter de
subjick de more pleased you will be-
Wild desc few remarks will resume my
seat"
81 has bin axed to delibcr brief address
on natural philosophy" said the Hon.
Smith," as he advanced to the edge of the
platform. Natural philosophy am sun
thin dat am goin' on all around US day
an night, but not mo- dan one pusson in
millyun eber stops to think of it, Elder
Toots, fur instance, gifts ready to soak his
feet befo goin' to bed. He pulls of his
socks an draps one of his big feet into de
dish-pan. Wooshi but de water am bilin'
hot. What made it sol De fab What
makes fiah. De old woman brings in pail
of cold water an keeps pourin' in till dc
elder kin sit dar wild his hoofs immersed
an take solid comfort. Why did she put
in cold water! To cool off de hot, of course
h,,fe el,f,I h., A. L.
it comes about. Why shouldn't hot water
make cold water hotl De elder has seen
dat fab heats water, but he doan' know
why. He knows dat warm water soaks
up de ole knots on his hoofs much faster
dan cold, but why should itl
"You sot heah in blaze of glory caused
by sebenteen kerosene lamps alight. Why
does de lie burnl What causes de wicks
to take up de lie. What am de occashun
fur chimney on lamp. Why doan, desc
lamps cause darkness instead of light
nessa Desc thoughts hev nebber occurred
to you. You sec stone roll down hill in
stead of up, but you nobber ask yerselves
why dis am SO. If it rolled up you'd be
just as well satisfied.
samuel Shin has jist lowered an alley
winder. What fu$. De room am too hot,
an experience teaches him dat de warm
can't tell you. Samuel knows dat de warm
air goes to de top of de room, but why it
does he has nebber stopped to think
Natural philosophy am a subjick dat kin
be studied wild pleasure an profit, an
hope dat by my mex visit to dis beautiful
city each an ebery one of you may be pre-
par'd to tell me why boy strikes de
ground when he jumps off de kitchen roof
instead of stayin' up in de air until his
fadder pulls him down by de leg.n
What am astronomy asked Prof
Green as he came forward. 'Some of you
may think that astronomy hs,s sunthin tc
do with railroads an steamboats,, but sich
am not de case. We hev it wild us as we
walk around by day, an it nebber runs
away when we lay down at night. Astron-
omy am de sky, moon, sun, stars, an SIGH
Dar' was time when nobody knowed da
dis world revolved around. Every body
s'posed it was great big hunk of sunthn
dumped down like rock in q mud-hole. i
was long time befo' anybody knowe dat
de world had an axis to revolve on.
good many folks felt sorry fur it, an mos
cherry body would hev Clipped in to buy al
axis an present it to her. 1t was gooC
while arter dat befo' any one diskiveret
dat de world moved around de sun. De-
saw de sun riz in dc east an sot in d,
west, an dey lowed dat it moved.
'De study Of astronomy am sunthin' da
de Guild man orter be at dav an night /
am like sweet buttermilk can't ri
too much of it. When you has come T.
know dat dc moon am inhabited by q rae
of people 'leven feet high an hevin' thre
eyes-dat dc smallest star am as big as
| City Hall-dat each eand of rainbov
rests on a gold mine-when you come t
| git astronomy right down to whar you XII
pick out Mars an Saturn an Goliah an
Sampson an Lots Wife, you won't kee
two cents whether your rent am paid O
not.
Il hev wild me few pamphlets on d
subject of astronomy, an arter de mcetir
adjourns de same can be had of me a
| twenty-five cents each--no trust"
The meeting then adjourned to give tn
visitors opportunity to make persona
acquaintances, and when our reporte
withdrew Waydown Bebee was still lool
ing for the dollar he had loaned Mr. Johr
son to illustrate the currency questio
with.