Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-22
COOL,

A fellow may consider himself lucky if he
receives cool treatment from his girl this
weather.-LoweH Citizen.
It is true that doctors disagree, and that,
perhaps, is the reason why their bills are al
ways SO disagreeable. Boston Post.
Some of the milkmen hang pals of milk
down the well to keep the milk cool. Some
of them use too much rope.-Milwaukee
Sentinel.
The fact that Nebuehadnezzar had to eat
grass leads us to believe that he must have
been member of early anti-poverty So
ciety.-Puck.
A Chinese bank official embezzled so, 900
taels. He was caught and beheaded, proba-
bly, on the principle that dead men tell no
taels.-Boston Post.
The most cautious man we ever knew was
the one who was afraid to buy a lead pencil
for fear the lead did not reach clear through
it.-Arkansaw Traveller.
Although tobacco has gone up, five cent
cigar is still sold for nickel. The relation
between tobacco and five cent cigar is not
close enough to hurt either.-Philadelph
Call.
Simpson, fell in love with my wife ff-
teen years ago. Kennedy-And you have
been in love with her ever since? Simpson
Well, er-not exactly. You see we have
been married eight years.-Judge.
leg, for instance-what is best to be done
while waiting for the physician?" "Well,"
said the doctor, 81 think the best thing to
be done is to get his money ready for him."
Puck.
Little Boy-"Pa, what does phenomenal,
mean?" Father-''It is word used by the
citizens of Illinois, Iowa, Kansas and Nebras
respective towns. 1t doesn't mean much. -
Puck.
After the French lesson.-Mrs. Grailer-"I
want your candid opinion on that wine, pro-
fessor. Mr.. Grailer bought fifty cases of it
at Larenze last spring" Prof LIE Due
"Feefty cases! Does madame not want to
take ze supplementaire course in Frainch?"-
Tid-Bits.
A Bostonian in Mexico saw young man
sitting in the center of circle of puzzled
people to whom he was reading book which
he evidently did not understand. Glancing
over the readers shoulder, the Boston man
found the book was volume of Browning.
Then the Boston man burst into tears. The
scene reminded him SO of home.-Boston
Transcript.
A child was recently watching a young
lady in Holliston busily talking into a tele-
phone transmitter. Suddenly the child said:
s'Who are you talking to?' The lady an
swered: "I am talking to man." The child
replied: s'Well, he must be an awful little
man to live in such small house as that. -
Boston Globe.
Mr.. Spurgeon says: GA wild goose never
lays tame egg" No, it never does; but
then the egg will become tame, Mr.. Spur
geon, if you keep it long enough. Tame?
Insipid, sir, insipid. And after that it will
begin to grow wild again; wilder then ever;
SO wild that its own mother wouldn't recog-
nize it. She wouldn't want to; she would
want to disown it, as unfit for any use save
to attend unpopular lectures. s.-Burdette in
Brooklyn Eagle.
It is said that Lord Kerr sfled his troops all
through the Indian mutiny with an umbrel-
ls." It is suspected that each member of his
troops thought the umbrella was the one he
had stolen a week or so previously and they
followed Lord Kerr in order to recover their
property. It was novel war measure on
the part of Lord Kerr, and showed that he
had great head. A man never feels more
like fighting than when he discovers that
some fend has stolen his umbrella.-New
York Weekly.