Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-10-08
Paul Pastnor in It'd Bits.
BILL NYE on MAYOR HEWITT.

Queer Letters to New York City's EX.
ecutiNe.
New York is full OF people who seem to
have been born with a stub pen in enc hand
and grievance in the other. For the sake
Of convenience they have divided themselves
into two departments, one operating on the
press of the city and the other on the mayor.
Some have plans to suggest for the ad-
vancement of our race. Others desire q
chance to solve the great problem Of lesislat-
ing one mans money into another mans
pocket witLout pain. One man writes to
Mayor Hewitt that America will certainly
b plunged into arnica SO long Us We have
felony OIL every hand. A woman writes to
the mayor to ask him if he has seen ANYTHING
Of her truant husband. Said husband was
last seen listening to q voice Of taffy haired
siren, and it is feared that be has wandered
OF down the broad road that leads to Nuba
Dam, Cal
The following explains itself:
NEW YORK, Sept. 81. 1881.
Mr.. A Hewitt, Mayor of n. Y.
ESTEEMED SIR: How long are you going to
fool with nkompytant Drugiste and Pothe
kersi Ths men that runs Drug Stores anu sofa
water Fountains III this Town is above their
bixpeSs and got the swel-hed Last week had
the misfortune TO get a small Gumble in the
mouth Of one OF my dear ones. and sent the
following prescripshun to our Drug Store:
''SIn: Pleas send 5 sents tiucher mire
wrench Persons mouth i'll 2"
Ths Druggis, who Is a white liver Chump,
wrote back that he was not i'll the wrench
bizness. he is n low thing that don't know
nothing but to put Red Eye into Soiy at so
much per wink. | will come down TO Your
place and tell YOU who he is if You wish, and
We will mock him silly with his loud smelling
stoar and blue mas pills till you cant rest.
Once | roat him for 5 Nents fetty fer sower
stunmick & he rnat back that he dld not no
what | shoot s" prowLn around drug stoar
for when all | needed was a speliin scool twice
Q day till releaved. | wiSht you'd male
him and jirk his licens away from him
and give them to a more werthy man & sb-
hdge Your, truly A PORTER HOUSE.
Dictated Letterl
SARAHCUsE, y. Y, 5 pit. the 18TH 1887.
xr. Abraham 5. HushItt, mayor of New
York city.
SIR: am the patentee Of and devisor Of a
new, red fire escape, to which desire to call
the attention of your city. Ii Is a method by
which a fire can escape quicker and more
satisfactory than by all other fire devices COM
bined 1t combines comfort, speei and dura-
bility, and is always within the reach of the
consumer. Il like to light up business letter
with pleasanf:y.)
Ny fire escape combines the qualities Of the
s.epiadder, the clothes line and the squirt. 1:
you do not sue eel with the ladder or the
squirt method You can suspend yourself from
tho window by the line, and when the upper
end of the line burns of YOU will descend to
tho ground. This is a simple method, and the
ma, or of Sarahcuse says that simplicity is no
nnm- for it. / would give You other testi-
mo.ials but space forbids.
Ny fire escape does not occupy much room
at hotel and is always willing to share its
room with any guest of the house. 1t comes
ia red, with black stripes, or III lavender,
with Siolet nubs Un the end for those who de-
sire fire escape that will look well when
lighted 10. A Young woman who lived in