Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-11-12
AMERICAS HumoRisrs.

style 0l DOyS trousers winch Is nigh
ly recommend. They have copper
seat, sheetiron knees, and are riveted
down IN the seams, and have water
proof pockets to hold broken eggs
Ieras Syings.
Miss Bas- Bleu-Are you fond CT
reading, Mr.. Downtown?
Mr.. Downtown-F Fair to midling.
Miss B.-Have you read "Homo
Sun?'
Mr.. D.-No, never was fond Of
arithmetic, and when was at school
| couldn't even get on with his laid.
Pick.
snow you move on r said an Off
Ger to an old vag mt the market yes
terday.
"say, I'm in AK replied the
man.
"Howg"
"Why, If ] move on it keeps my
blood in circulation, but ! wear out
my shoes. Which had | better LET go
the shoes or the circulation ?''---
Detroit Free Press.
"I've very important editorial to
write, James,, said country editor
to the boy, "and must on no account
be disturbed"
"Y ssir," said the awe struck boy.
In five minutes James rapp-d d tim
idly at the door.
'Didn't iell you that / mustn't
be disturbed ?" shouted the editor.
"trhere is a man down stairs with
half bushel of turnips!" shouted
James.
"Show him up at once!" shouted
the editor.-eThe Epoch.
A Detroit lawyer who had a case
before one of the Township Justices
subjected a witness to much brow
beating, and wound up with:
"Were you ever in jail?'
"Ask me another question Of the
sort and I'll lick you until you cant
hollow?" was the prompt response.
"Your Honor" began the lawyer,
81 demand that"
"And il he can't I'll help him!" in
terrupted the Justice as he began to
push up his sleeves Detroit Free Press.
The faith-cure doctor took the head
Of his patient, and looking into his
eyes said:
81 can cure you"
Patlent-"Are you sure?"
"Very sure. All you've got to do
is to believe. just believe you're
cured; that's all y
"All right; I'll try it. Good-day."
"Hold on d minute, my man;
did't you forget something's"
"What ?"
"The fee. ] charge q dollar
visit"
ooh, yes. Well, believe. All
you've got to do is to believe that I've
paid you, and it'll be all right. st.
R1m Gtobe.
A medium backed by spirit hand
ought to be invincible in poker.
Burlington Free Press.
Three or four days ago man living
near Vincennes, Ind, came to De-
troit in search of runaway wife,.
He was quite serene over his loss,
saving he didn't want to make the
police any particular trouble about it,
| but if they could locate her as well as
not he would reciprocate the favor
whenever it came handy. One of the
detectives located the faithless spouse
! in boarding-house on Lafayette
street, and the husband started up
there with him. They were quite
halfway when he suddenly halted
and said:
"Why, she ran away with
man -
7. "Of course"
"And he's here with her?"
Certainly. Both are at the
house.
"Well! well! Just wait and let
me think it over a little. How shall
/ act in the case? Is it my duty to
shake hands with him and ask him
why he did it, or jump ON his collar
as soon as the door is open? What
is the usual way of acting under the
circumstances, any how?'--Detroit
Free Press.
Experienced nurse Please, sir, |
wish you'd prepare the misses for
sonfe news. She amt very strong,
an I'm feared of shock
Young father-Eh? What's hap
pened, quick? Has baby
"Yes, sir, he has.
"Merciful heavens! is the dead.n
"No, indeed!'
"Oh; very sick?'
"On no, sir; he's as well an bright
as dollar, sir.
"Yes, sir; I'm afraid she'll be so
upset with joy she'll lose her mind.
You must stand by her and tell her
to calm herself, SIR"
swell, what is it you want her to
know?"
"Baby's gettin' tooth sir. ."-Oma-
hd World.
Omaha Teacher-Did you all give
attention to the story of David and
Goliah?
Class-Yes'm IN.
snow why did that contest take
place ~
Little Girl-So the big armies
wouldn't have to fight and so many
get killed.
"Correct. Now why was 1t that a
youth like David was able to con-
/ quer a giant like Goliah 2"
+ title Row (recentlv from BOstOml