The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-11-20

pIoyment.
"Is NOT the south solid ?'' inquiries the
New York Tribune. Well, we should
smile to remember.
THE UNION labor party should change
its name. 1t should be called the
union jaw and wind party"
The ORGANIZATION of big business en-
terprises under the name of trusts, u
simply means that the people are ex-
pected to trust them till they bust"
A MEXICAN official is attacked by
party newspapers in Mexico because he
arrested bandit. Mexican newspapers
are evidently conducted OH the Ohio
plan.
PHIL ARMoUR's son is a Yale fresh
man. His allowance for pocket money
is 500 per week. Phil is unwise. Bet
ter make the boy saw wood for his
spending money.
NoRRIsTowN Herald: - Chips from
trees ielled by Mr.. Gladstone at Hawar-
den are sold for I8 pence apiece. In
this country chips from trees can be
obtained by simply axing for them.
IT IS said that Mr.. Blaine is standing
in torrid water just now for repeating
some remarks of the Prince of Wales
which the Prince says he never made.
Brother Blaine is martyr to inaccur-
acy.
Boston Transcript:-"No," said Mrs.
Maguffin, my husband isn't what you
would call learned man, but he is
very ambitious to acquire an education.
Why, he attends primaries almost eYery
night"
PROFESSOR PROCTOR, the astronomer,
says, If the Americans increase at the
present rate, in four centuries from now
there will be only three square yards of
space to each inhabitant." We are glad
that by that time We shall be out of the
crowd.
AMONG THE ballots counted in the
Fourteenth Ward Pittsburg, at the last
election was one reading as follows:
FOR STATE TREASURER,
CAPT. WIsHART.
He owns the County; give him
the State
.--.--..-...'''-.'..- --.--.-..----.-.
The Post calls it ga Grand Days
Work" while the Commercial Gazette
tickles itself over the cause for Gen
eral Republican Rejoicing" And the
Pittsburg Leader adds: That's the
kind of an election we like to see.
Everybody satisfied,
LINCOLN Journal: - You have re-
markably soft hands, Mrs. seacook. Do
you use glycerineT" No" 81 wish
my hands were like yours; they are so
white and small, lady might envy
them. What business sre you inn" 81
am organizing new labor party"
LAS SOON as we get over the rush we
are going TO invent big navy gun that
will throw deadly car stoves into the
enemy's vessels. Two grand results
will be accomplished. The enemy will
be annihilated in particularly melan-
choly manner and we shall get rid of the
car stoves. springfield Untoa.
II Is said that SIR. Samuel J. Randall
is of opinion that Thoebe's snide con-
test against Mr.. Carlisle incapacitate
that person from being the Speaker of
the next Congress. 1t is not strange
that the Republicans think as Randall
does. But all the same, Mr.. Carlisle
will appoiRt the House committees of
the Piftieth Congress.
The Times and Post of New York ap-
plaUded the President because he re-
tanned 80 many Republicans in Office
but they now denounce him because he
wrote letter in favor of the election of
the regular Democratic nominee for
district attorney of New York City. The
two papers referred to are leading
mugwunp organs. So it is with all
other mugwumps.
In THE first ten months of 1887 there
were ,408 miles of railroad constructed,
the construction of September and Octo.
Der surprising the average, and rating
at nearly 800 miles a month, or fifty
miles a day. This rate was never
equaled. exceeding in ten months the
total construction of the twelve months
of 1886. Capitalists have put $45 COG. 900
8 month into new railroads, and then
wonder why money is scarce in the
stock market and in trade.