Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-30
RAW.

The oyster openers duty is> on the. raw
 material.-New Orleans Picayune.-sss
 Fair hostess-e'You don't seem to enjoy
 the ball, doctor. Then why did you come?''
 Doctor-"To study anatomy, my dear lady.'
 --Tid-Bits.
 # We are told that the price of mercury is
 rising. That is unreasonable. The mercury
 ought to be steadily falling at this time of the
 year.-Boston Post 2
 ''Papa," asked little Bobby McSwilligan,
 s'what is a railroad pool!" IA railroad pool,
 they water the stock. ck."-Manufaeturers' Ga
 Ruskin says "man should resemble river ' We do not know what he means, but suppose
 the reason is that in order to amount to much
 in society he should own couple of banks. Lowell Citizen.
 Colored sportsman-F'Dis looks powerful
 like de Widder Shows old shanghi, but Is got too much confidence in dat ar dog to b'leve he'd pint anything 'ceptin' it was some kinder pateridge. ."-Texas Siftings. ''Does your mother wear felt slippers2' asked an old lady of 8 little boy where she was visiting.
 "Yes, ma'am, she do. felt 'em,'' an swered the small boy significantly Free Press.
 Son and hsir.-Mrs. Youngmaster-"Dc you know, Emily, think baby has inherited his fathers halr." Mir. Y. (pIematurely bald -'Pm glad to hear somebody's inherited it. my love, for I've often wondered what be- came of it."-Texas Siftings. 'tI see that NJ. Sadi-Carnot says he hopes to give France stable government" said the snake editor. "Yes," replied the horse editor. 'I presume he thinks that 8 dark horse is admirably qualified to run such 6 government. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle. MT. Tom Bigbie-What do you expect fol your New Year's-the earth? MT. Will Getthere-Well, no, not exactly the whole earth; but I can tell you it'll be 8
 pretty cold day if I don't get some of the fullness thereof before wind up-Puck. De Bacon Gin cigar store)-Have a cigar
 De Kerr? Here is my favorite brand-yor
 know the kind I have been smoking for the l last month or two?
 De Kerr (shuddering)-I do, De Bacon, IT ! take one out of that other box.-Chicagt Tribune.
 Occasionally our Mrs Ram likes to display her perfect knowledge of the French Ian ! guage ''I've just been reading" she said Ca most interesting work, the life of Mon- signor Dupanloup, who was the bishop-or as they call it in French, the Equivoque d Orleans "-Punch.
 Rev. Dr. Holland, a Chicago divine anc wit, after eating abundantly of roast beef a
 8 table d'hote one day, asked friend why
 the beef he had just consumed was lik, Amsterdam. The friend didn't know. 'fBe cause," said the genial man of cloth, sits il Holland. ."-Gazette.
 Ominous.-On Monday at 5 p. m. Mile'
 Keech and Cora Duel, of Briggs Hollow ,wer
 made one by Rev. Dr. Wilson at the home O Frank Mills. The many friends remembered the loved ones and brought the gifts and laie 1 them on the marriage altar to look at whe1 l the shades of life gather at the monday l Owego Times.
 'tThis," said the enthusiastic inventor t' l the committee that was Investigating hi safety car stove, lis the device by which tn heater instantly extinguishes the fire at th' moment of 8 collision or confines it hermeti 1 caly in the chamber. so that it can do n' possible harm" "What is this enclosure a | the back of 1t?" asked one eff the officials l 'FThat is to hold the tools te be used il l breaking out of the car in case it takes fire. l-Chicago Tribune.