The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-07
THE TERRAPIN WEDDING, OR THE
DISAPPOINTED PARSON.
BY PROF. T. B. RUSSELL, A. NJ.


At Turtleburg, in Cooter Pond.
A counting was, with wooing fond;
Young Mister Terrapin much loved
Young Miss Terrapin and hard showed
His suit on her soft tender heart.
Now. when in glee the waves he d part,
Or waddle to some silent log,
And there he sat to eye in bog,
His darling's Grecian Blended back.
GU may be sure there was no lack
OF Misses Terrapins to gaze
Delighted, and with deep amaze,
Upon the Suitors manly mien-
And beauty too of his hearts queen.
o, whoopee. how they envied her,
That such hero should prefer
This lady cooter all so fine,
And her alone his heart assign.
As for each terrspin young buck,
he wished he had this lovers luck.
Then there arose revival grand,
Mong boys and girls of cooter band,
To enter on the marriage state,
Ana seek the joys of Hynen's fate.
The old-folk coolers too were stirred,
by thoughts of sunny, young love spurredl
Yet these bright sages knocked their heads,
And they declared that he who weds,
Must have at least Sp9nd0oijcS few,
To help support his partner true.
In cooterdom hard times prevailed
Al present, they averred; and failed
10 give their free and full consent
To other couple marriage bent
Save Bill Terrapin and his gdI:
since Bill was well off, and Miss Sal
Was thrifty as a dueky hen,
Or, bird that swims in turtle den.
Now Bill had there a tract with holes,
Where grew fat worms and sweet tadpoles:
In fact, he had enough to spare.
And give his gal plenteous share.
So then they fixed the wedding day
All Cooterdom with JOY was gay;
Sen neighbor beasts reloced to see
The coote s mirth SO happy, free.
The squirrel, rabbit. and the fox
Came with old. sturdy uncle OK,
To see the sights and taste the fun.
And with no fear Of hostile gun,
The birds of music too We're there,
To charm the crowd with singing rare.
One question was quite difficult,
| That made the cooterS long consult:
| This was: WHO should the pdrSo1t be- 7"
| Now smart Billy Terrapin, he
| With all his heart, was just d-hot,
| That Reverend Donkey tie the knot:
| But Sal maintained no Donkey's bray,
| she'd have her silken knot to lay;
| And positively insisted
Her marriage string should be twisted,
| By good, old uncle Bully Frog
A preacher true, who drank no grog
In private. Bill was heard to say:
20, Sal6hinks I'll have naught to pay,
IF Bully-Frog the knot should tie;
| But, Donkey bold would sure deny,
| He could such jaunty work perform,
| And get no fee his heart to warm;
| For, he believes the cooters rich,
| And able him q ten to pitch.
| I'm glad Sal has frugal mind
And Justice Donk is left behind"
| Old uncle Bull Frog got his call,
| And hoped he for nice windfall.
| So up he hitched his water rat,
| Put on his best coat and new hat
| Drove fast that he might not tarry,
| But be prompt the folks to marry.
| The parSon came, the knot was tied
| Without has supper home he HE'D.
| When he the license oped to see
| The gold, or Greenback noble fee.
| Alas, alas, he hung his head,
With shame, that he was beaten dead.
| There was no fee from stingy pair
| Not eUe1l thanks for all his care!
When Madam Bull Frog heard this news,
| Her wrath was kindled like the stews
| OF all volcanoes of the earth,
| Or all the steam of fiery birth.
| Old Bull-FrogS voice could soften naught,
His beldam's heart with anger fraught.
| In FrogdOm such noise she reused,
AS if all Bedlam there was housed.
| The frogs all hallooed, beloved, roared,
| AS thousand bulls of Bashan gored,
! Or countless hsunds with deafening cry.
| Pursue the frightened deer that fly,
| Or mighty voices of the deep,
1
| Then Cooterdom was struck with dread.
| That night, each cooter in his bed,
| Lay still with fear and held his breath,
| As apprehending instant death.
| The terrors of such laundering sound,
| AS if the earthquakes tore the ground,
| Their coward hearts with misery stunned,
AS bankrupt debtors oft when dunned.
| Next day, all beasts afar and near,
| In grand assembly did appear,
! Except of course the cooter race.
Who in that congress had no place.,
To pass their censuring decree,
Against those grooms who give no feo
To parson for his marriage work,
And thus generous duty shirk.
This they Resolved: with no vote stint
THE stingy bridegroom's a skinflint,
"A BOBBY coarse and unrefined
who to contempt must be consigned.
THE man, who gives not even thanks,
Must be arrayed among the cranks.
THE pro User Of pay. 'Ch0 lies,
"a carcass carries fit for flies
The clown alone escapes this doom,
''Who is g9mp, or pauper groom"