Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1887-01-15

CAUGHT A TARTAR.
H.. .~..~- -,
A decidedly s1andscEhs yoa1g man wa
Rrolling down Fifth aaenue, New York's great
boulevard Of wealth. and fashion. He was
rather tall, well built, elegantly dressed, but
yet did not seem to be happy. 'Hs' scanned to
bekhsent minded, and HERE was Oh Msfac6a
careworn' LOOK AHstcat gentleman, about
ten year, older thin thss' Young geDf!Athaia
with tie sad. catewdrn' EXPRESSION, was COM
ing from the SSppPPosits direction He, sa5pped
nde1xclaimed rfttNjy: 20 = >'n"+7 -
s y ] Feb, ley 4. Hy a. PPoy'
@Do:tor, 1 declare 1 didn't SEQ you until you
Ana YET !: You . i'v were looking right Il IL he.
DON'T apologize, for I'm not going to6lrssproach
! you. When a man marries one of the pref
test girls in New York-and one who IS rich
beside-it is no wonder he don't see his friends
when he meets them on the streeth"
"D9ctor, ! am not going, to dispute with
you, tor !. admit that I am q little absent
minded; Its TINE that am very happy,
but
aButii What do you mean b va that qualify,
Ing wordl Arc there any mitigating circum-
stances, SO to speakay7' .Tn = = - :.
mo. l can't say that there ays. but
."There it is again. OF course, I don't want
you.to give anything away. but if You have
any trouble you. can confde, it to an old
friend with perfect safety. Perhaps ], being a
doctor, can suggest a remedy. .. ,sva
II would be perfectly happy il it were not
for my wife's mother. She is ydeyotedly str
tached to her daughter. They. are as mucl.
together as il they .wepe Siamese twins i
have been married a whole week, but I have
not been alone with my'wie five minutes
since the ceremony. lfnlly intended. to take
a bridal tour, but when Mrs. Swiftly said she
would 60 along, to take care Of US, changed
my. mind. =, When ! want to; travel; for. mis-,
cry, instead 81, for pleasure, I Gag. drive az.
undertaker's wagon. The truth Is, my dear
doctor, that, it. is Will. difficulty that. I Gan.
persuade myself that I am really married, n
@That. isya bad state Of things I don't see
how any remedy can be applied, but perhaps
your. mothersinlaw may marry again. She
is upwards Of 40 I suppose, although nobody.
would think. SO. TO- look, at Der. 4, Widows are
like young babies, The first six months they
cry a.great deal, tho SECOND six months they
begin to take notice, and they experience q
good deal of difficulty in getting through thu
second summer: Without meaning any dis
| respect to your worthy motherin.laY, !, VEN
ture the prediction that she, will marry again,
and then you will be liberated In this counc
try the manageable. age for women runs
from IL to 10z:"... 80 -, ...v 49,, .
"Don't mention such a thing, doctor, q Mrs
Swiftly marrying" -" ..n. va..as.. :,
"Why not"p 49,. ~, -. ,..,..
any wife is to inherit all her mother:'sprop.
erty. ,Hsshe marries again I may be left out
IN the cold. 1t makes meshudder to hear you
talk about Mrs. Swiftly m~arrying.nns. ;s.a..
"You are right. That would never do. Il
wish I could suggest some plan, but / don't
see how I can be.of any .use,t you.n -. g.,
"You can help me, doctor, and you must.
Call around at the, house this evening My
mother,in-law is a very pleasant cpnversas
zionist. I know you like a good bottle Of
wine and, . fine cigar. She don't object to
smoking, I've. got them both in abundance ]
You can. entertain Mrs. Swiftly while. I, and
my wife take q little; walk. You are the very J
man ], want. All you have to do;is to. talk to |
my mother-in-law for an hour, or. 50 while /
become. acquainted with my wife. You; too,
are a splendid Conversations, and are so full
of witandhumor that you can get her so inter-
ested in your conversation that she will not no. /
tice our absence. This is a hideousax l am in. |
I know, she means well,t but ber. kindness is
killing me. Do you know what her kindness
reminds me Off 9. |
II can't imagine" ~, -. ~
IN y. mother ,in-law reminds me OF a tame
bear who loved his master very mach. One
day,the hear saw a dy On his masters head, i
and thinking. to do his master a. favor heJ
struck a blow at it, and drove away the fy,a
but nearly knocked his masters head off, Ny 4
motheE-inlaw imagines that being constantly
in the room with me an mywife, that she t.
showing lis a great kindness, but would pre-
fer!to nave her hit me on tie back OF the neck
with a rolling pin.nc,..1. r.-.z, .ia, .ss.]
my dear, fellow, you know that ], dislike
ladies' society,"" ,,.t:7 - ..:, X, ~ 80, Il
eyes, lknow you, ara reallya woman hater,
but l wish y~oWfwouddo me the favor to come
over tonight and talk to my mother in la -
swell, for, your sake, ,Ill.do it," -, ,;.~r.al
"Thanks, a thousand thanks. I'd do as much
Tor you" ~ $50. .e-,.. Il 7.n rsft+...3
"Don't mention it. By the way, do you
know why the word honeymoon IS only ap-
piled to youngmazrjed people" "a, -.
II udL ; bEH LBua QaS EuZZlSQ m86Y6E 4
since I got married" ..s. .,r;t .,,.
at, is because, the moon only affects the
tied. Now you understand, don't your said.
the genial doctor, as they parted. 10. as:
The parties to this conversation vera John
Kimball, a young New York lawyer who had
recently married the only daughter Of Mrs.
Swiftly, the wealthy widow of. 8 dry. goods
merchant. Kimball's friend, DR.. Raymond
was q jovial man Of about Sc years of age,
who met with a disappointment early in lfe.
and who, consequently, had a settled aversion
to matrimony. ..~- to. 49,.
in q charming villa O n the Hudson beyond
Highhridge. ..".., -.
As he turned to go to the station on the ele-
waited he seemed to be a changed man. owing
the promise Of his friend, DR.. Raymond.
His face seemed es devoid of care as that ola
stingy mar who had inhaled laughing gas at
ten cents a ha. ha. at the expense Of some.
body else, to use an expression borrowed from
the advertisement of a country dentist.
Supper was scarcely over when Mrs.
Swiftly proposed that she, tho young bus
band and his wife Emily should take a stroll,
when the door bell rang and DR.. Raymond
was announced.
4AlS O"AIly, dllOW H0 10 lQCfOQUCe you
to my friend DR.. Raymond. He is a gentle
man who stands in the front rank Of his pro-
fession, and who is a gentleman Of extraordi.
nary wit and bumor."
II am very much afraid that the result OF
my friend Johns praise will be somewhat in
tbe nature of a disappointment, for when l
to deliver the goods they will not come
up to the sample" remarked the doctor.
Mrs. Swiftly responded, smilingly, that she
had great confidence in her son-in-law's judg-
nent, and requested the doctor to make him
at home. ,- ;
In a short time DR.. Raymond and Mrs.
were so busily engaged in converse
that she did not perceive that John and
bis wife were no longer in the room. They
had taken advantage of the opportunity to
in the unheard-of luxury of q stroll
With the mother in-law left out. l.
The silvery rays of the pale moon twinkled {
among the new born leaves Of the naples
The lazy 1ephyrs of the night fonned their ;
as they idled about the velvety lawn,
anon a gentle sigh would find its way
rom each loving breast calling and answer .