The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-01-12
WIT OF THE PARAeRAPHIsT.]I
Tobog or Not TObog-Shakespeare on ice.
lCup and Voina I

For who would bear the cuts and smarts of coasts;
The steerer's wrong, the starters stupidity
The pAngs OF o'erturned loads. the crushed up |
sleigh.
The twenty-five cents out, and the smaTts
That patient merit bears when sweet girls
smoker.
When he himself might his quietus take
or toboggsn? Who would ride sled
To tcoot ard gasp under horse blanket
But that the dread of not being fashionable
That awful bette noir, from whose irown
NO tObogganer retuTns-master's the hill,
And makes us rather take the ills we fear
Than iy in haste from the toboggan slide
TIGHT man has a loose mouth.-Philadelphia
Call.
ALWAYS has a pryor engagement-the crow
bar.-Texas Siftings.
NEw-YEAR's resolutions usually end in smoke
and dr1nk.-Lowell Citizen.
GIVE us a rest" is not a popular cry with the
boodlers.-whitehall Times.
A BENT pin can't pull very much, but, great
scottl how 1t can push.-Dansville Breeze.
WHEN you swear Off swear off swearing at the
same time. 1t never viii be missed. philadelphia
Cali.
THEY say onions will produce sleep. They are
strong enough to produce something.-New Haven
News.
'swHAr is the best way to manage a man." asks
a feminine correspondent. Marry him.-omaha
World.
NATURAL gas is thought to be beginning to fail
out West. But Congress still remains.-Lowel
Courier.
ripped is seam-pathetic creature.-Merchant
Traveller.
FoRH a solemn IesoluHon to not pay the same
bill moro than twice this yen.-Pittsburg Com
mercial Gazette.
DoN'T make any more resolutions than you can
keep. One whole one is better than dozen
broken ones.-Lowell Citizen.
suNDAY-scHooL Teacher = Now. children, can
any Of you tell me who Methuselah was2 small
Scholar-He was chestnut.-Life'
A DOODLE Alderman in jail IS distinction with
out much difference from other Aldermen who
ought to be there.-New Orleans Picayune.
THE question which now sgitstes the tonscial
profession is 'Can man who has his hair cut
Saturday night be consistent chrlstlanF'-Bos-
ton Transcript.
NOT much of q compliment; my face is my
fortune" said Miss Blueblood to young Dumley.
'How Door you must feel" replied that young
FASHION item says::that ''new pocket-books are
long and slender" They generally are slender
Immediately after the holidays. We prefer the
| long and plethoric style.-Norristown Herald.
BEWARE of premature conclusions when you see
a man sit down hurriedly on the sidewalk at this
time OF year. Don't conclude that he is drunk
simply because he has taken drop-Lowell Clti-
| zen.
IT is not always safe to judge things by their out
ward appearance. There's many seal-skin
sacoue that has been bought by an unwilling nus
| band as a means of getting his wife to give her
| Jaw little res'.-Fall River Advance.
You may not write like Shakespeare,
Nor like a Webster talk,
| But don't let that deter you
From shoveling on your walk.
-DansVlle Breeze.
| A CHICAGO railroad man and a Chicago reporter
both say that It is becoming fashionable To-
Young men to kiss each other vigorously when
they part for any length of time aud when thel
meet again. Thank fate, we are no longer young
Omaha World.
CAN you recall the names of those two friends
my dear" he said to his wife, whose affection
was so great that one offered to die for the other
Da-Da-the first begins with D." ION, yes,
said the lady. plscidly; you are thinking of Oar
and Beersheba "-Aarper's Bazaar.
OMAHA Lady -''OA, dearl I've forgotten m,
fan and it's dreadfully warm here" Gentleman
Tin the next seat backl-"I can't bear to see
woman suffer; would you allow me to make sug
gestion for your comfortY" Certainly" "Wh
lot fan yourself with your hst?"-Omaha World
THIYcs one would rather have left unsaid: "An
low my dear General, come and sit by me an
tell me all the scandal that's happened while v
been away" We'll, really Mrs. MallechO, err
YOU see-er-the fact is that while you've bee
away there has been no scandali''-Londo
Punch.
YOUNG sprig of the English nobility went on
to Dakota to learn farming. He had great dif
Guilty in mastering the terms used in the manage
ment Of cattle. One day he Yves driving his oxe
when a neighbor who passing heard him sa,
) "Haw there, hswl Beg pardon, meant gee"'-
HarDer's Bazaar
e SHE was a leader of the ballet, and, desiring
impress the crowd, she sailed up to the clerk
q the window and wanted to know II there were an
letters for her from the crowned heads OF Europ
''Not to-day" responded the soulless mail clerl
y ''but here are fourteen from the bald-heads
C America. Lowell Citizen.
1 A BURLINGTON woman hailed a half-froze
T tramp the other day: Say, come around to Il
e Ddck door anu 4 Ia give you eOmetuiHS' WV
e the tramp put i'm an appearance che exclaimed
"Therel you've done good job for me. You''
: broken path to the clothesliDe, and there's
o temperance tract.-Burlington Free Press
REAL, pure, true, genuine New-Year's Reforr
Z with big r, seems like phantom, easy to grss
8 bat impossible to hold. There are two brothers
o Allegheny, one Of whom always getspfun and Il
c other does the swearing off, but they haven't m
O. with any definite results. Yet they are not d
Z couraged but mean TO keep up their cooperate
fight against intemperancc to the end. One W
. grossly intoxicated last night The other W
e swear of to dsy-Pittsburg Commercial Gazeti
Il The Legislature.
/. lLogansport Pharos.I
J TIE Legislature convened to-day. Aside fro
' the senatorial struggle the session promises to