Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-12-03
BILL NYE is / CANDIDATE.
His Friends were Proud Be-
cause He was so Poor.

Practising Hollow Laugh TO Bide His Pain
Advice from the Groc4r-mau-h .gsc-.ug
References 70 His Lack Of lIonev-In spite
Of Al, the Other Man Somehow Got the
P--cs-Listof Debts.
The heat and venom af our own
campaign here brings back to nv mind
with wonderful clearnrss The bitter and
acrimonious war and the savage fac
t:onal fight which characterized nv
own leg slalive candidacy in what was
known IS the Prairie Dog District of
Wyoming, about ten ears ago. THIS
district was Anown ia, and wide as the
battle ground of the Tcrr torv, and
generally when the sun wentrdowu on
the eve OF election day the ground had
that dishevelIed and torn-up upuear-
ance peculiar 20 the grave of Brigham
Young the next day alter his aggregat-
ell widow has held her regular annual
snort recital and sca.ding-tear fcs val.
/ hestated about accepting the nOmi-
nat on because | knew that ViluUcru-
ton would get up on its hind feet and
annoy me greatly, and had reason to
believe that no pains would be spared
on the part of the management Of the
opposition to make nv existence a per-
feet bore. This turned out to be the
case, and although l was nominated in
way that seemed 10 indicate perfect
harmony, it was not u week before the
oupos ton organ, 20 which l had re-
quently loaned print paper when it
could not get it, own c. o. D. paper
out Of the express office, said as follows
in a startled and double-leaded tone of
70 ce:
''HUNULIATING DISCLOSURE.
The candidate for Assembly in this
district. whose trans-Missouri name
seems to be Nyc. turns out TO be the
same man who left Penobscot County.
Me, in the dark Of the moon four
years ago. Mr.. Nye's disappearance
was so myster Gus that prominent Pc
nobscOtters, especially the sheriff, Of
fered a large reward for hi, person. It
was afterwards learned that he was kid
mapped and taken across the Canadian
line by a high-sPirIted and high-step-
ping horse valued at 81. 800. Mr.. Nye's
cand dacy for the high office to which
he aspires has brought him into such
prominence that at the mass meeting
held last evening in Jimmy Avery's
| barber shop he was recOgn ized at once
by Maine man while making telling
speech in favor Of putting in a stone
culvert at the draw above MandaPS 5
rancho. The man from Maine, who is
visiting our thriving little town with a
view to locating here and establishing
an agency for his world-renowned rock
alum axe-heives. Saws that Mr.. Nye, in
the hurry and rush incident to his de-
parture for Canada, overlooked his
wife and seven little ones. He also
says that the candidates bossted lber-
aIity here is different from the kind he
was using while in Maine. and quotes
the following Incident: Two years be-
| fore he went away from Panobscot
| County one of our present candidates s
children was playing on the railroad
track of the Bangor and Moosehead
Lake Railroad, when suddenly there
was a wild shrek OF the ron horse, q
timid, scared cry of the child, and the
/ rushing train was upon it. Spectators
| turned away in horror. The ar seemed
! heavy and the sun seemed to stop its
/ shining. Slowly the long freight train,
! loaded with its rich freight of huckle-
/ berries, came to halt. Then glad
/ cry went up from the assembly as the
! broad-shouldered engineer came out of
/ the tall grass with the growing child in
I h arms. Then cheer ON cheer rent
| the air. and in the midst of it all Mr..
/ Ne appeared. He was told of the cir
/ cumstance, and, as he wrung the hand
OF the engineer. tears stood in his eyes.
| Then, reaching in his pocket, he drew
forth a card. and writing MS autograph
on it, ne gave it to the astounded en-
| z neer telling him to use it wisely and
not fritter it away. But are you not
robbing YOURSELF? exclaimed the aston
ished and delighted engineer. No. oh,
no. said the munilicent parent, 1 have
1 others left And this is the man who
asks our suffrages! VIII you vote for
/ him or for Alick Meyerdinger, the pur-
est One-legged man that ever raped
with his honest knuckles on top of a
bar and asked the boys to put a name
| to it?''
Twas panied TO read this, for l had
( not al that time tOyed with politics
! much, but l went upstairs and prac-
| tised an hour or two on a hollow laugh
that thought would hide the pain that
seemed to tug at my heartstrings For
| the most of the day l strolled about
town with a iurid campaign smile that
looked about as joyous rs the light
hearted gambels of tin horse.
l visited my groceryman. a man
I felt that l could trust. and who had
hOnored me in the same way. lie sad d
that [ ought to be indorsed by my fell
! low-citizens. ''What! All Of them?'
I exclaimed. with choking sensation,
for l tried TO be Endorsed by one of my