Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1887-11-03
An Error for the HumOrist.

There is sort of humorist whose
manuscript turns up in this Office with
the utmost regularity, and goes out OF
it with the utmost regularity.
This is the man with the joke about
the young lover and the father with
large boot and larger bulldog.
This merry-maker is spending
large portion of his substance in post
age-stamps, and common humanity de-
mands some interference on our part.
We cannot let him go down to the
poor-house without some attempt to
steer him toward the right course.
Bulldogs Boots Gentle Idiot, there
are no bulldogs, there are no boots
for the young man who comes a-court-
| ing days. He must be worth
Lass eharaatar. indaad. if he be not well
come in the house of many daughters.
Dear Idiot, the path of the marry
ing young man is strewn with roses.
He is not O man to be snubbed and
sighted; he is man to be welcomed
with great Joy, and with timbrels, and
with the sound OF the sackbut. The
mother bows down when she meets
him, and the father goes unto the front
gate to bid him enter. A feast is pro-
vided for him-a great entertainment
and free lunch is spread on both sides
of the path that leads unto the house
door.
Know you not, Sweet Idiot, that it
costs dollar or two to keep a daugh-
ter in decorative idleness? If horse
may be said to eat his head off, what
shall we say of young woman whose
heaviest burden is her winter bonnet
Nay, Fair Idiot, there is no one IN
that young woman's family who has
, aught to say against the young man
who deigns to visit her with matri
monial intent. Well does that young
man know that his father-in-law-to-b
will ever support him. The maiI
question with him is slightly different
He has to make sure that he will no
have to support his father-in-law.
For, be it known to you, o, Idiot
. il is the young men who are making
u money; it is the old men who are pay
. ing interest on mortgages. The tim
? has gone by when a man had to MARI.
- at twenty for fear of be ng called al
"old bach" at thirty. The man @
. forty is charming young fellow, if h
v is unmarried. Everybody courts him
- Everybody asks him to dinner. II
's has to learn to spar, so to speak, t
u keep off eligible daughters. Bull
3 dogs? Boots? Why, the mans ear
are deaf with listening to the praise
p of Jane Matilda and Maud Louise.
- If you must write of such matterl
y Wild Idiot, write of the shining trutl
:; Write down the fact that Charlie
~ Augustus, be he ever so homely, eve
40 so mean and small, ever SO vicious an
ill-bred, is made at home in the fami
We circle, because it may come to pa
Is that he will look with favorable ey'
ey upon Charlotte Augusta, and wed he
IS, in the end, if he is given sufficient O
ny couragement
Write of this, and your tales will
ur printed. Down oblivion, with Il
n dullest and most sickening thud know
he to our nineteenth century civilizatio
as have gone your merry jests abo
lr- booted and bull-dogged parents, T
rp the truth was not in them. Arou
OF yourselfl Trumpet forth to the wor
the fact that young man who G
support wife is at present selling
ng about two hundred per cent premir
p, and strike a popular chord. Blu
ng dogs? Boots? Write of young m
he who would give good money if tn
Up could get out of house full of daue
ok, ters--or, even, full of one daughter
lty as easily as they could get in.-Pttck.