The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1887-12-03
~DtsEAnFAsr BUDGET,
wasa pnrk.pnck. ing Ch:cagn man

1tvasn pork. pnck.ng Ch.cag, man
Nh &c knowledge WIS a, fault
When hsEaid 10 a wa' tho husband OF her
WhD was turned TO 4 Pillar Of salt"
A blood ret owl was caught in the
woods near Jacksonville, ILL.,, the other
day. 1t Ia the only one OF the Kind ever
neen in the State.
"lm goin' to leave, mum |" "What for ?
I Am sure | have done all the work NV.
self, 10 order to keep a girl" Well, mum,
Their works not done to suit me!"-Puck..
Booiblsck to old gentlsmsn)-Want or
shine, bos,? Old gontlem.u-No; irs go
ing to rain, aonry. Boo:biack-Tll get
'em shined up aiors 1t sainS, boss.-7trs.
Sizing,
Brown (who hes given his friend 4 cigsr)
-"Theee are something like cigars, eh,
old boy ?" Jones obviously regarding
his)-Yeser, somothing like-what are
they2-Ttras Sy1ings.
Portions Of 10 Ha have been flooded with
counterfeit dollS-a made Of caos iron
heavily plated with silver. Ordinary acids
fall to infect them and they can only be
detected by their ring.
The young lady who ron for tho Office
ofSchool Commissioner in Nsg York and
was defeated, seous to hsvo run for the
incumbent, and will manage tho ofice
after all. sho has married him.
According to the report of Treasurer
Hyatt there 10 still outetandipg$l5 49, 800 0O2
OF the obsolete fractional currency, neasly
all OF which ia supposed to have boon de-.
ssroyed, lost or PLACED in collections.
Tho Snnrap,a Noprk &c Mo,.,~h.n
hes decided that 3 man mus. pay Tor being
shaved on Sunday, and that. under certain
circumstances, shaving on Sunday us en-.
Eeniial to his health and cleanlineaa."
A reporter, in Gescribing the murder Of
q man named Joykins, said: "Tho muir
dosos wa evidently in quest OF morey.
but, luckily Mr.. Jorkiua had deposited iii
his funds In the bank tho day bsfo,e, 40 ho
lost nothing bu. his lile."
Lord Donnywocks-I want extra etesm
heat, weather.strips on tho windowa. n
special hall-bay, private dining rooms,
eldor.down quilts, and Hotel clerk
Hold on, my dear cir. l .hins yon've
made a mistake. This isn't Heaven
Photoerapher-"If yon and your eslimr.
PIE vile could look a trifle less mou,niulI
think the picture would be more e~atisisc.
tory" Deacon Hsdden-"Younr mar.
our son jacobs in jail for hoss.atsR!in'.
Ihss pictes's fer him. Let her 70 y
"oi cay, Miker". "Phwatp" "Whare
bs's 20 wurrukin'?" mot wu.,ukin' at
ell. | bs's conductohr on a d!hrt cart.
Where he'sy 20 wusrukin p" "Notwurrukin'
at all. l ba's superintendent Of q brick
olevatohs al the now hotel"
"Good heavens," remarked a man to hi,
wifs on High street, Sunday afternoon. III.
would juss aB soon see you pull On your
stockings on tho strest as your c(oyes.U
"Most men would" she quietly remarked,
and the husband wns as mum as an oyster.
Tho small boy In tho snow
sLS3 VIII soon be sen to 20 50
va TIL his DO 'ts ARA wsS inside up 10 tho rim:
hon tao coli viii maze htn shake, lIJG 2
And tJr lone hs't quickly make.
" he.e h ma will make II hot enough for him.
Father laying to read the newspspsD
What was that awful racket in the hall
Just nowP" Mother-"Ons Of the chill.
dren fell down tho atai1s." Father [irascl.