New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-12-08
uIrrTHrNct ~ MrrHODN

The sad fate Of VI. Grcyy Will be regarded
in this country n Il strong argument for the
American system Of choosing sons law. In
France the parents not only ENJOY. both by law
and custom, Il veto power IN marriage Affairs
but are also in the habit Of taking the initiative
They originate the son-ln- law, 50 to speak
select him, approve him, veto less dcsiriL."
candidates. and conduct the pair mp to the door
of married life. IT is mott be denied that the
system has some advantages nor that foreigners
have probably derived an exaggerated idea Of
the extent TO which mcrccnary considerations
prevail IN such alliances. But If will be seen
At a glance that il throws a vast responsibility
upon the parents. If the match goes wrong,
they alone are "a blame. The fathers CURSE
which has been turned to such good account on
the stage with pcVcr>c daughters who insist
upon choosing their own husbands, Is 1ut Of
place in France. unless the father curses him
,clf. when the son-in-law turns out poor in
vcstmcnt. w. GrcVy has been undonc by his
son in law. whom he doubtless elected after
the French method even if he didr't nominate
him in the first place. II is easy to believe
that his participation III the selection may
have had an influence IN leading him to 90
| he should have done and may also have served
to identify him more closely with the former
in the public mind than would otherwise have
been the case.
The method is very different here, rs every
! body knows. The American girl chooses her
own husband. The American girl is in fact
an absolute dcSpot in this field, and reserves
the veto power and all other powers to herself
She j. glad to please her parents. when She can
Of course bat that is a secondary consideration.
| The first thought is to please herself, and
under the circumstances, We don't know that
anybody concerned is quite 50 well entitled to
be consulted. Usually she selects her husband
and then lets her parents into the secret. As
4 rule, she invites them to the wedding; but
sometimes. when they happen to cXaggcratc the
extent Of their authority, She leaves note on
her drcssing-tablc saying that she has selected
him, and has started on the journey Of lfo
through the bedroom window. or she returns
| from an afternoon walk and calmly announces
that the ceremony has been performed, and
that there will be no cards This system has
IT'S advantages and its disadvantages. II takes
a heavy load Of responsibility of the shoulders
Of the parents. No one would think, in this
country. of holding man responsible Tor the
acts of SOn-in-law whom he wasn't even
allowed to vote for, 50 to speak. Our system
! further makes sure that the person most in
| tcrcstcd il entirely satisfied. The drawback is
that young heads are not always so steady as
I'D, and the American girl sometimes makes
mistakes which the American father and mother
might have prevented if they had had an oppor-
tunity.
But the chances arc that there would
be far greater number of foolish and unhappy
marriages if the parents chose the husbands
than there are now. Tho American girl is not
brought up to the innocence Of doll, as the