Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-10-06
NUMBER 40.

"o"Ff0t of EH6tU@QH.
"What can be worse. said an ex-
aSperated husband in the middle ythe
night than tcething babyg "You
are, john when you have the tooth
ache, responded his wife.
Journalists get more free advice than
amy other class Of people, and II is not
strange that newspapers have advice
left over which they can afford 10 give
away. No0 orleans bcaytpe.
One of New Englauds nquiring
philosophers wants 60 know whether
Adam smoked or not, FguratNely
speaking, we believe he did, and that
Eve was the cause OF it, Philadelphia
Press.
Fetherhedde -"rhat Skattmybwain
is dweadful ews He's such an
avs he makes m head ache every time
| see him, Wondawing how the dayvil
he can be such an avs as he IS 100a
Topics
He Cat dinncU May assist YOU to
the cheese, Missp Miss Vassar dust
graduated) Thanks. nol am very
comfortable where Am. Butyou may
assist the cheese to me, if you will!
Puck
Gourmets 1T table dhole. "This
banana pudding is eNquisit. II tastes
Just like Strawberries "Aud this
strawberry short cake is superb One
would think il was made of banunas"
French fm
Sick husband Did the doctor say
tat am 10 take All that mnlicine2
Wife YES, dear. Sicl, husband Why,
there is enough IN char bottle to Kill
mule; Wite (auNiously) You had
better he careful, john.
"Arrah. thin. Mrs. DhnS. win yez
20 TO the circus witha select party this
day9' Faith, thin, Mr-. Mouarty,
mnney thank. eSp.ct a little circus
OF my own, This ja tte ould mans day
fer gettlu dmunk, lyt
A police magistrate has refused to be-
leye that a man can live next door 70
a saloon and never enter y. Why,
men have been known 10 live next
door to u church aud neyor enter IL.
fHaadelphta North american
Prof Baird SAYS fishes eau live 60 be
100 years old We cont doubt this in
the least They are always the largest
fishes, too That IS tie kind that al
ways breaks away from tho hook at
the very last moment YoRkcrs States
man.
As the act-drop fell Mrs. Galatiue
fixed her eyes on 1t and studied it euri-
ously. "You seem TO be enjoying the
drop remarked her husband, II
am "Wen, think IN enjoy one
myself . And he stole softly out
! 4id- B.fs
An optimist is woman with Il new
spring suit a pessimist II u woman
without d new spring suit. An optlnl-
ist is a man with baby one day old.
A pcssimist is man with baby 1873
nights young, aud teething Somer-
ritie J0Hriai
A letter. has just been discniornbcd
in Pompeii Just where the district
messenger-boy lost it 1000 years ago.
The boy is supposed 10 be sdll alive,
wandering along in The dir, tion Of the
house ut which the letter was TO be de-
liyered. B1vdetie.
Editor -"This poem Of yours is a
pretty good one, but doesn't seem to
contain the elements OF success.
Poet what would you suggest rs IN
Improvement Editor'I should
/ advise you 10 turn your attention to
Prose. HarPer's Basar.
81 have a biz Of Good news for YOU.
John, said fond young wife. "YesP
/ remarked John, eNpectanily. les.
! Iou remember That Two weeks ago
hot-house grapes were quoted at vs. a
ponndP Well, l bought some today
forS6! 6!'- AeW lor& sun.
80. dearg exclaimed Cousin Jane,
"n,y throat IL 30 raw can't sing any
more. Doesn't singing make your
throat RAJ" Uncle Charles - thInk'
was the guarded repiy' 'that y mas
tendency = MAKE those ia" VINO near
me. bosto9 lfaHSeftPG
Eugene ST. Claire" 90. say, ma,
guess it's the chambermaid what hooks
thcr sugar Fond mother What
reason have you for thinking SOP
EuSeI,e ~, ~ ol'l , = 'illlh' opt1 neata si