New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1887-06-29
THE EDITORS JOYOUS LIFE.
A FEW OF THE MANY VISITORS WHO CON
TRIBUTE TO HIS HAPPINESS.

TRIBUTE TO HIS HAPPINESS.
How Old Familiar Friends Manage to While
Away the Editorial Leizure-SsPro Bono
Pubico's'' Disinterested Efforts--'Th
Major in His Glory-The Girl Ate Adj
vice and the Fire-Extinguisher Fend.
In the radiant atmosphere in which
editors dwell it would seem, to the cas-
ual reader, impossible for anything to
occur to disturb their serenity. Yet
there are moments when an editor al
most wishes that he had never learned
the business or that he had died when
he was an apprentice. Several times
each day he will utter words that are
only expressed in print by a long hor-
izontal mark. People who visit him
during business hours, and give him
ten-cent cigars, imagine that they break
the monotony of his life by their cheer
full presence. They think nobody else
has called on him the whole day, not
noticing the procession hating outside
the door waiting for a hack at him. It
is an undoubted fact that the editor
has several visitors each day. About
nine hundred of them send up their
cards, but only about three hundred see
him personally. From early morning,
just after the whistle blows, when the
editor, refreshed by slumber gets his
apron on and begins to mould public
opinion, until he quits work at night,
there IS constant stream of people
who must see him. They stand and
sit around, fall asleep in corners, put
their wet umbrellas into the Persian
vases, and white the rosewood furni-
ture to pieces while they wait.
Early in the day come the people
whose names have been misspelt in
the mornings issue OF who want to ex-
plain they are not the people mention
! ed. The saloon-keeper in whose place
it was reported fight occurred wants
to have it denied in 'sdouble leads on
the editorial page. The actor gets in
about 10 o'clock wanting a notice, a
woman wants to put in an advertise
ment for a servant and is told to 90 to
the business Office, and a man comes
along with a big advertising scheme
which he wants the paper to go into.
Another has long tale of distress and
is told to sit down at the reporters
table and write it out for publication.
He sits down and writes laboriously all
the forenoon. using dozens of sheets of
! paper, comes back after dinner and
writes still more and goes away con-
fident of seeing the front page covered
with his story in the morning. Then
| is ho v1yho h =
a mammoth ear of corn to show the
editor. After him, at about IL O. clock,
''Pro Bono Publico" comes in with his
communication about the way the boys
upset ash barrels in his neighborhood.
This communication is about twenty
seven pages in length, and he brings it
himself because he will not trust the
mails. He insists ON reading it to the
editor in order to be sure it is punctu-
ated correctly. '.Pro Bono has been
writing to the papers for many, many
years and is thoroughly familiar with
the handling of every question from
the tariff to the English sparrow. cold
Observer and ''Veritas" are liable to
drop in at any time during the after
noon as we'll Of Justice" Fair Play, /"
and ''Old Subscriber" but the office
boy knows them and puts them upon
the horse editor and the funny para.
graph tiend. It is when that most an
cient and crumbly of all the haunting
crew, '.Fiat Justitia,'' comes floatin 9
in that the editors brow contracts with
a dark and lurid FROM. '.Fiat" wears
rusty black clothes and a big choker,
has a quire Of closely written paper un.
der his arm and his Benvenuto >Cellini
whiskers stick out straight with pride
as he treads the well-worn and familiar
path to the editorial 41sanctum - It il
!. always called a sanctum by every bod,
. outside of newspaper Office.
His trousers bag at the knees from
,, sitting around waiting his chance a
editors. He knows all the ms and outs
, you can't fool him; hesvlll see the edi
tor or lose a leg. He seats himself di
= rectly in front of the editor ear, look
ing right down into its depths and pour
therein the principal points in hi.
: twehEe-column letter on the Electora
Commission or the Interstate Com
meroebill.
Then, comes the woman who wants Il
write society letters from Detroit, "a
:, articleston the new kind of embroider,
l Tor pug-dog blankets. She is followe
by a seedy, clerical looking man VIII
has a new form of prayer for rain
;. adapted 10 this climate, and who ba,
9 rows teneeents from the blond, foua
J, eyed assistant editor There are per
!. petual motion and flying machin
; cranks and dozens of people who com
:, on charitable. errands, women will, boy
! : whom they want to make reporters q
= artists Of as they are good for nothin
: else. They show specimen of the boy
L artistic skull that makes the editor wee
= tears of joy.
2 Then the man comes along VIII
wants to write articles on English POI
: itics. He knows all the dukes an
lords. mentioning them by Their from
!, 4 edge of Gladstone's private theu ghts
LIZ! Eot fa1 81 This tr tho So1o Iox, :,