davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
A Homeless Undertaking.

A lady who owns a dog and, incidentally q
little girl, heard commotion in the adjoin.
ing room
Upon investigation she discovered that the
commotion came largely from the dog.
"You naughty child" she said, "are you
trying to burn Fido, that you hold his head
so near the gratep
"No, mamma" replied the little girl; "Im
only trying to warm his nose. New York
Sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
cnn1.ln,t Ann

A Boston young man was taken out by
some Fort Worth gunners to kill ducks at
Hurst's lake. AS large flock Of canvas
backs floated right by him, and he didn't
shoot, one of the Fort Worthites got excited
and yelled;
"Why in thunder didn't you shootm
why answered the Boston man, 'every
time got my gun leveled at one, four or five
other blamed green headed fools would swim
right in between so never could get good
aim at oneH
The party went home.-Texas Colonel
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
History a la IgnntIns poneIlr.

WIN Shakespeare-Ple sir, the manager
h'of the Globe theatre wants his new play.
Lord Bacon-How soonl
"H'at once, sir, for tonight
"To-nightl Great st, George! how does he
expect me to finish my Organum, write my
public speech, get ready for that trial and
write him play all IN one dayf'
"II'I don't know, sir, but he wants the
title right away so he can put it on the bills" ="
"Well, I'll do it, Let-me-see. Tell him
the title will be Hamlet in-Omaha World
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
He IooLs I.il,r OchIltreo

friend of Lawrence Gardner tells this
joke on him: Some months ago Mr. Gardner
was travelling in a Pullman car going from
New York to Saratoga He noticed that the
porter paid more than usual attention 10 him,
but thought nothing of it. At last, after
much hesitation, the porter said;
"Howdy, Col Ochiltreei l haven't seen
you on this road for some time"
"No; I've been very busy in Nem York;
replied Gardner
The porter then went into another car and
Gardner and his friend adjourned to the
smoker. Presently the porter came in, and,
going up TO Gardner, said:
"Hou remember, colonel, the last time
saw youf'
"Yesr
well, you promised ne dollar, and YOU
never gave it To me"
"Well, here's the dollar" said Gardner,
and from that day to this he has been hunt
ing the auburn haired romancer of the Pam
pas.-WaShington Cr!ii3
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Understnod His Rnsiness.

Omaha Travelling Man lin Chicago)-I un-
derstand good many Chicago families en-
ploy 5000 year cooks
Hotel Clerk-Yes, that's SO.
Can you tell me how l can get the adj.
dresses of such familiesr
go to tie Highly Caterers emporium
Do you wish to engage a cookE'
"Oh, no; am agent for Killercure's dys.
pepsia medicine World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
A Midnight Reverie,

sit before the open CRATE,
And, as watch the dying fire
CTis evening, and the hour is late),
Old memories sad thoughts inspire.
Alone and lonely there sit,
Watching dying, glowing embcr,
And trying, as the little flames fit
And dance about, not to remember
The thing that troubles all my dreams,
And SO tormrnts me, sleeping, waking,
Until at times II almost seems
AS if my weary heart were breaking.
The fire dies out. The sudden chill
But makes my melancholy deeper.
60 to unrest, brooding still,
And wishing camel coal wera cheaper
- nwcll CITIZEN.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
A Severe Mental Tax.

"Bobby," said his mother, 81 told you not
to forget to bring up three scuttles of coal
before you went to school, and you only
brought up two"
81 know, ma, but forgot the third one.
Three scuttles is good many for little boy
like me to remember. New York Sun.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Thry Don,t Grow Thcrc.

Chaunccy Dcpew told this experience in
recent specch 81 was up in Scotland this
summer, where they understand joke more
easily than anywhere in the world, and was
tired out travelling and sightseeing, and said
to my Scotch guide: Il must find a soft
stone somewhere to sit down on He said:
land'n
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Neu Ynr1.,s nrnnnu rrnrrO.

New York Speculator-Dl you take those
Mud Run watered stock tenth mortgage
bonds TO the bankl
Clerk-yes sir; took half a bushel around
this morning.
"Did they agree to let me have $4,000 on
them"
'No, sir; they said they wouldn't give over
half cent pound for 'cm.n
BY jinlls! Money must bo fearfully tight"
Omaha World,
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Am AnnrorrIate Remnrls.

Sunday School Teacher-What did King
Nebuchadnezzar do?
Pupil-He ordered the children of Israel to
be cast into the fiery furnace.
''Nyhat did Nebuchadnezzar say when he
noticed there were four men in the fiery
furnace, when he only ordered three men
cast into it,"
HE said, is it hot enough for youg -
Newman independent.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
His Chestnuts.

At a private concert the other evening an
amateur singer, who prides himself on the
depth of his chest notes, sang, 81 Dreamt
Dwelt in Marble Halls" and for encore gave
"Then You'll Remember Me-"
''What do you think of those chest notesT'
asked one Of the guests
81 think, !" was the cold blooded reply, The
might have given us something besides chest
nuts.-Detroit Free Press.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
He ISnem the Sen.

Experienced Dry Goods Clerk-Ladies,
have you seen this pattern elsewherel
Ladies-No; we came to you first of all
L. d. G. C.-Then you will pardon mo if l
decline to show it to you, for if you have just
begun shopping you will not buy here.-Fhe-
gende Dlaetter.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
The ProdigaI Son.

Prodigal Son--Father, I have spent my
substance and have arisen and returned to
thee.
Practical Father-What did you spend all
that money ON!
Amateur photography
skill the fatted calf and send it to the
nearest idiot asylum. My son will dine there
tomorrow. Omaha World.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
S. H. Barnard,
FfFTH AND MARK ET STs

FIFTH AND MARKET SITS.
Hashlslarge warerooms chuck 'ull
OF Planosand Organs. Theyare for
sale. 1t will pay you to stop in and
Examine his stock. New goods
New Management We mention
a few leading makes. First on the
listwe plaCet the standard WEBER
good as gold. Then comes the
HARDMAN remarkable for its
flne tone and finish and splendid
wearing qualities. You must not
pass by the MASON&HAMLIN
their new method of stringing will
strlkeyouas a radical Improvement
in piano making. CHICKERlNG
is household word. Then for
medium prices we have theat vor,
ite MARSHALL &WENDEIL,,
SllRLlNG ) and others. Pianos
IN all styles of Rosewood, Ebony
Mahogany and Blister Walnut.
Cash or instalments.
Is itan ORGAN you are look
ing for3 How will an ESTY do?-
king OF organs. Following CLOSELY
on its heels are the DYER &
HUGHES and WILCOX &
W HIIE, both noted for their
volume, sweetness durability and
artistic design Always on hand
the popular Eastern Cottage Or
gans IN every style of case and
action. Cash or installments.
Smaller instruments in great
variety Sheet music and books,
Pianos, organs,a2oordeons, &c,
thoroughly tuned and repaired by
L. T. Potter, with
S. H. Baynard,
FIFTH AND MARKET SITS.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19

Citizen Ito member of board of trade)-
Amy business of Importance accomplished at
the meeting last nghti
Member-Yes.
Citizen--What was it2
Member-We perfected arrangements for
the annual dinner OF the board.-The Epoch.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
40 Stain a common Wood Floor,

The easiest way TO stain common wood
floor is probably by applying n mixture of
one part turpentine and two parts raw lin
seed oil, rolored to the desired shade with
burned lumber or powdered sienna.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Mistake of Identity.

Omaha Man-Do you intend to lecture In
Omaha?
Eastern Stranger-Lecture9
Eyes, you lecture, don't you, or perhaps
you only Write?'
II am not a lecturer or an author, sir. l
am manufacturer of car stoves.n
"Oh! l beg your pardon. My friend
Blinks must have made mistake He told
- Euu we're nvOvl CT5IiiuJlJii .iv. -.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
A Change of Scene.

what Is that, mothery" THE rink, my child;
The year it was built all the people went wild
They crowded its walls, and to music's glad sound
ON furniture casters they slid themselves round;
But the fool killer cave with his two handed
club,
And he smote all the sliders, from gray beard to
cub;
And the building so silent is used, as you see,
By the Mourners Embalung and Shroud com
pany.h Robert j. Burdette
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Yery Much Worn.

Gentleman lin clothing storel-I find that
| have got to go to Montreal tonight, and
want suit of clothes
Clerk-Yes, sir. You want cutaway
coat, s'pose.-New York Sun
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19

Lace can be used for the bottom Of the
shade instead of ribbon, and fruit for the or
nament in place OF flowers or any other
changes that ones fancy suggests. A spray
ofpaper flowers is generally employed when
the shade is made simply Of colorel tissue
paper
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
nints Here and There.

Bolsters are again made flat as well as
round, and pillows are made larger, though
not quite SQUARE,
A dish Of fruit or low mass Of flowers in
the center is the prettiest Of simple decora
tioAs for the dinner table.
Boiling water made strong with ammonia
and applied with a whisk broom cleans wi
low chairs admirably.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Fine Views,
Easy Terms,
Low Prices.
Make a point to examine the un,
der mentioned choice build
ing sites.

Eighteenth Street adjoining City Park
groundsi Lowering Avenus, Broome and
Rodneg Streets opposite Park woods; Broome
and Rodrey Streets, between Thirteenth and
Fourteenth Streets; Union TO Woodlawn
Avenue And 60 - tx i 7-------------
For one of TIE choices views in the City
from own front door we recommend Tenth
and Broome Streets. Our former advertise
ments of Highland lots are worthy of your
attention. Particulars of other desirab' 'e lots
and dwelling houses for sale can be had on
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
loc., 25c., Soc. and $l.oo.
HOME TESTIMONIALS:

bln Balm wllc had
t. C0I'r T. w b. r. IA OF
Of nmG m OF G th E fz4 z4os M few Brazilian cured me-
H @ @ n s io sITIs2 ever say Tid Erd tongue
amG o relief Balm
hey brazilian Balm will do all that
Gelli M
little Eao1sSr
~ H. il lost children tI
taken the recovered irnd
tey-Baron D. Dpaty lhtord - ~ '" "hieu-
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
a Charge Not Sustained.

1t is claimed that Thomas Campbell pla.
CARRIED the line, "'Tis distance lends en-
chantment to the view" The original inter
probation from Dycr's "Grouger Hill" shows
that the charge of plagiarism cannot be sus-
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
For Her Dear sake.

"Willie,n said young wife, "are you go
ing to take part in this tennis tournamentr'
Eyes, l thought of it,"
"Please don't, Willie, for my sake"
"Whym
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19

The following described real estate, viz
All that certain lot, piece or parcel of land stua-
ted in the said city Of Wilmington, bounded and
described as follows to wit:
Beginning at a point on the westerly side of a l6
feet wide street running from Third stIeet to
Fourth street aud between Lincoln street and
Union street said westerly side of said AZ feet wide
street being at distance Of l40 feet easterly from
the astefly side OF Union street at the distance of
100 feet souherly from the sontherly eide of Fourth
street thence westerly parallel with Fourth street
81 feet to corner thence sOutherly parallel with
Union street IA feet 20 another corner thence ca
tery parallel with Fonrth street 90 feet 10 the said
westerly side of said 6 feet wide street and thence
thereby noriherly ID feet the place of beginning
be the contents more or less
Seized and taken in execution as the property of
William Kyne and TO he sold by
GILES LMRSON, She riff -
Sherif's Office, Wilmington, Nov. o. 1887
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
As yon summit, soft and fair,

Clad in colors of the cir,
Which to those who journey near,
Barren, brown and rough appear;
Still, we tread the same coarse way,
The presents still a cloudy day.
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19
Important Rusiness.

because you might win and it would
surely get into the papers, Washington
Critic
The Wilmingtonian., 1887-11-19

1t Coos, but 1t Is Still There.
The car stove. people said, must 60,
So also said inventors clever;
1t does, for by its heat we know
The car stove goes as well as ever
Boston Cuulier.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26
The SUGAR BOUNTY IN EUROPE.

Berlin dispatch OF July Both has
the following
The attitude of the British Government
on the sugar bounty question and the pro-
gress of the anti-bounty movement in
England are closely observed here. In
Germany, international action on this sub
Ject would be welcomed The Govern
ment is favorable To the abolition of sugar
bounties. 1t has openly said so; but 1t is
an inevitable condition that all the coun-
tries concerned shall adopt common
measures. As matters are, home con-
sumers suffer seriously, and foreign BUYERS
of German sugar benefit al the expense Of
the producing country. Though interna-
tiOnal action is desired, it is not believed
that il will at present be taken. Probably
there will be more difficulty with France
than with Austria, bat should either coun-
try decline to join the rest the whole
scheme would necessarily fail.
On the same question a Vienna dis
patch of the same date saws:
The Vienna Foreign Office has informed
both the Austrian and Hungarian Minis
80 - N''i''''CiI &c VI IhS IOte winch Ene
English Government has addressed to it on
the subject OF a Conference concerning
the sugar bounties. The Austrian Govern
ment consents in principle to the abolition
OF those bounties, and will in the Confer
ance adopt an attitude in accordance with
the common decisions OF Austrian and
Hungarian Finance Ministers. The Aus
TRAN Reichsrath, which last session had a
dill on the sugar tax under its considera-
ton, was also of opinion that any inter
national action for abolishing such boun-
ties deserves support. Germany. Belgium
and Holland are likewise favorable to their
abolition, and only France appears To be
opposed to the proposal.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26
For San Francisco .

The Oceanic Company's steamship
Alameda sails to-day for San Francisco.
The following passengers are booked at
Messrs. w. q. Irwin & Co.'S office to
leave by her
Miss l.. Roseman, John Cooley and
wife, Rev. f. q. Beckwith, D. D., Il.
Louisson. J. r. Renton, II. N. Alexander,
F. Newton, E. w Barnard and wife.
Major W II. CornwelI and son, Major A.
b. Hayley, Major Samuel Parker and son.
J. :. Lake, Mrs. II. F. Wells. Miss NJ
Wells
By the Australia, Tuesday, August 30th ::
f. d. Preston, NJ. Hyman, Mrs J. d.
Strong and son, 5. Cohn, Miss Annie
Horner. w. H. Holmes and wife, w. A .
Wall, A. II. Smith, G. K. Wilder, W L..
Stagg and wife, Prof J. D. Dana and wife.
Miss Dana. Mrs. c. r. Storrs. Mrs. Hud-
son Misses Hudson ~, Mr.. and Mrs.
Benton, Miss Benton,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26

citizen soldiers they have esposlsed with
fidelity 10 those who are properly author
lied IN instruct. direct and command u.s.
with that patriotism which should be the
first attribute of all loyal citizens; and
with the courage which first. last and
ALWAYS should distinguish the soldier, and
which we as citizen soldiers hope ever 10
maintain. The manner in which the toast
has been received convinces Us OF the depth
of sentiment existing towards Us, senti-
ment which I think I can truly say IS re-
ciprocated by every member OF the corps.
We rejoice that We have done anything TO
give the people confidence IN our fidelity,
or frmness. or usefulness as an organiza-
ton. And we assure you that We will
strive 10 direct our future in course
which shall not detract from your good
viii. but shall cement the friendship now
existing, by observing the respect which
every good citizen will ever bear for those
who do their duty regardless Of results.
TAppIause foil lowed the CONCLUSION of his
remarks.
Mr. W. c. Wilder also responded 10 the
toast. He said he took great pleasure in
being present at the banquet tonight 70 do
honor to the Commander of the Honolulu
Rifles. To the Rifles every resident OF
these Islands owe a debt of gratitude,
which they will always remember, and
should the Rifles ever be called upon TO
look after the interests of the country, he
felt certain they would do so.
Captain Unger proposed a toast to The
Press" which was received with cheers.
Mr. Walter Hill, of the Bulletin" and
Mr. Dan Logan, of the Gazette" were
called upon to respond, which they did i'll
a happy manner. At the CONCLUSION they
were both greeted with cheers.
Private Livingstone proposed the toast,
The Ladies', which was responded TO by
Lieut. Chas Mccarthy in his usual pleas
ing manner. Charley aid the toast great
Justice, as was evidenced by the repeated
applause which followed its conclusion.
Sergeant H. W. Morse of Co. B., being
called on for a song, complied, though suf-
fering from hoarseness, by singing Chimes
OF Home" and was loudly applauded.
Private w G. Armstrong, of the same
Company, also responded to a call for
''Mary's Gone with a Coon" which he
sang, being appIauded at its conclusion
DIR. \. B. Emerson then made q few re-
marks, which were well received, after
which 'Auld Lang Syne," was sung by the
companies and guests, and the battalion
then dispersed all highly pleased with the
banquet.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26

NEARLY every day lady may be
seen riding a tricycle. on our streets, at
tracing much attention 1t may be
interesting to know that there are five
hundred women in Washington, D. c.,
who Use tricycles, and their appearance
on the streets attracts no more attention
than woman on horseback. An At
lanta woman is on her way to Washing
ton ON tricycle.. She started with in
famrnstory rheumatism, but when she
= -s-ched f4c57EFssasaIIe WAS completely
cured If thArA asa-an1- ladies in THE
city troubled with the same complaint,
we recommend trip round the island
on tricycle.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26
NOTICE.

nURINe Ny ABSENCE FROM THE Erec.-
~ dom Mrs. MeIlis will have full charge of
T6T a1s3tf ssCUS'
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26

THERE is movement in Boston,
Mass, for the naturalization of the Eng
lish and Scotch residents of the State, OF
whom there are twenty thousand.
Why they have refralned from naturaG-
zation longer than their Irish fellow sub
jects does not appear.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26

A FRENcHMAN named Jovis is about
to attempt to cross the Atlantic in bal
loon. He intends to start from st.
Nazaire in October, and will aim at New
York. Where he may turn up is an
other matter.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26
:" The Area Belle. "
To Paris and Back for Five Pounds.

To conclude with the IaughabIe farce
in one act
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26

A COOL trade wind was one OF the
features OF yesterday.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-26
News Boys, Etc.

Doors open at 7;45 p. IA.
Prices; 81. 70 cents and 80 cents.
Box plan opens at the Office of J. E. Brown &
Co, No A Merchant street. on Thursday at a IA.
799aug27
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1887-01-02
The Oldest %InhabItant.

CDIToR ISDErESDEST:-Very few Of
the residents Of Eastern Nevada that
don't know old Rube BDstick, or as old
timers call him Uncle RUDE the gri2.
ziy." His home has been way mp in
the forests Of perpetual snow, on Mount
compliant, the highest peak Of the Ruby
range. Lieutenant Wheeler, u. S.
explorer and first officer in the Coast
Survey. measured the elevation Of Uncle
Rube's cabin in 1870 with an anrroid
Barometer aud 70 und il over IL, 900 feet
nboye the s,a level. No one can tell
when Rnbe first came TO the country.
The old-tims overland stagers say he
was here when they came. aud Indians
say she all the same Indian heap SHOWS
all gone sit down" lie claims he
came to this country in lSi7. and regis
tiers IA n voter born in the State Of
Maryland in 1892. He voted for Madi
son in 1916. voted for Jackson twice,
and for all the Democrats since except
Greeley. lie frequently mentions the
war OF 1912 recollccting particularly. in
cilents OF the wei in and around Balti.
more, aud was n spectator OF the bonn
hardment by the British of Fort Nc
Henry, when, II where Reyes received
the inspiration to compose the ''Siar
Spangled Banner" Uncle Rube has
been known among the foot hill neigh.
bors as n Samson Of supcrna ureI
strength, the matter OF packing 400
pounds from the valley to his mountain
home was simply amusement. This
Fall on a wager he lifted with his back
the hind wheels OF Williams wagon
loaded With II. 200 pounds lead bullion.
and other exhibitions OF strength have
been verified by eye witnesses which
are almost impossible to believe. His
grey shaggy hair and beard almost
reached to his waist. Last Summer he
became cnaniored with n half breed
Shoshone in Euby Valley and was
married by Justice Robbins Of that pre-.
oinct. Rubc aud his Delilah, as she
proved to be, retired to their inountIin
home where she in her loving exubor.
nncs sheared his long shaggy locks and
beard while asleep e give. ns she says.
the old man q yonng appearance.
Sunday the old gentleman wss brought
dor IS th" valley 10 Gui. Moore's oud
was as weak Us a child. unable 10 help
himself aud, ms he claims with apparent
goHd reason. ou account OF biz locks
being shoIn.
The old man says he is in perfect
health eTcsptins his eNtssms ~wenanesS.
lie prnSs his maker Tor tue growth of
his bsir and with 1t his strength to vote
again In 1888 & %. Col. Moore 1, eS.
tending all help in his power Tor the
old mans comfort aud hnSl recovery.
ySnirAs.
The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1887-01-02
POLYGAIY.

Col. r. G. Ingersoll thus speaks Of
poiygnmy: at Is just ns pure in Utah
MS 1t could have been in the promised
land. Love and virtue are til c same
the world over, and justice is the same
In every State. All the languages Of
the world are not sufficient to express
the fifth of polygnmy. 1t makes n man
IL beast, II woman n trembling slave. 1t
destroys the tircsidc, makes virtue an
o~ntcast, takes from human speech its
sweetest wo.ds and leaves the heart IL
den where crawl and hiss the Shiny SER
peuts OF most loathsome lust. Ciylliza
ton rests upon the family. The good
family is the unit OF good government.
The virtues grow about the holy heart
of ~hOme-they cluster, bloom and shed
their perfumes around the Gscsldes
where the enU mar loycs the one W.
man. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Observation-Disclosures these
words the world Is but "A liar, and men
and ONE merely beasts"