The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-02-27
A DEPENDENT PENSIOYER
WHO, WITHOUT Lees, MANAGES
TO GET HIS DRINKS
livery Day and Fill Up Until He Is
rs Red in the Face as a
Boiled Lobster.
SPECIAL CORRESPONDENTS ov rHH ArPEAL.I

SPECIAL CORRESPONDENTS oV The APPEAL.l
New YORK, February %. "A
queer fragment of man, the larg-
est OF three pieces raked out of the
wreck of a freight train on Jersey
railroad, is sometimes seen making
slow progress along one Of the Eas
Side avenues. The legs of him are
buried somewhere in Jersey, having
been cut off above the knees, aud he
uses his feet and his arms for legs,
raising himself from the ground on
both hands and swinging forward
upon his stumps. He says he was in
the army, and that his legs were shot
away by rebel cannon ball at Get
tysburg. One Of these DAYS he ex-
poets to get pension. The saloon
keepers in his neighborhood all know
him, and they would rather give him
drink than hear him describe the
battle Of Gettysburg and his own
heroism in keeping up fire with his
musket after he lost his legs. There
being so little of him to absorb the
alcohol, he sometimes gets pretty
drunk on few drinks. But he can't
stagger, and he has no use for lamp
posts. There is no "reeling, rolling
home, boys, 10 his. When he feels
so good that he must whooper up, he
Just yells, TIE last time he got on
spree he planted himself on
a corner and howled until he woke
up all the policemen in the precinct.
They thought Buffalo Bills Indians
had dug up Steele Mackaye's prop
erty hatchet, that was solemnly bu-
ried in the middle of a circus ring,
and started a dance. When three
policemen reached the scene of rev.
elry the man without any legs was
waving his arms wildly and daring
the world to come on. About twenty
people were grouped around him,
and as there were no loose briefs or
other missiles within reach, nobody
was afraid. He shouted, sang, dc.
fed the universe, and when he was
not waving his fists above his head
he put his hands upon the ground
and bumped himself up and down
theoretically. He called that dane
ing. Once in while he would
charge on the crowd with q whoop,
swinging himself along rapidly, and
heaping insults aud sarcasm upon
the people who lodged out of his
way. Although he was only about
two. thirds of man, he made more
noise than three whole men. Two
of the officers tried to persuade him
to 20 home, but he stood npon his
rights as citizen, and his stumps as
fragments OF humanity, and refused
to bulge. Then they took him
by the collar, and he wound
his arms about their knees and
laid there sprawling upon the side
walk. With'a hand upon the ground
on each side Of one of the prostrate
policemen, the legless roysterer hoist
ed himself as high as he could and
let himself drop on the policeman's
back like pile driver, expelling
roar from him and amusing the
crowd The three policemen tried
several ways OF lugging the abbrevi-
ated inebriate, and finally adopted o
wheelbarrow. lie stood in the
vehicle and beloved all tho way to
the station, and in the morning he
explained that he acted that way be-
cause he couldn + get any satisfaction
out of spree otherwise. If he only
had some legs to stagger with, he
said, he would be as quiet and peac-
able as drunken dude, but il man
couldn't stagger and go see-sawing
all over a Sidewalk, he must work of
the liquor some other way.