New-York tribune., 1887-12-12
THE TALK or The DAT.

The little cotcrie of Democrats who sneeZe when
| the President takes snuff cmarkng loudly the
other day that the President had message to the
American people which demanded immediate answer.
Well, the American people have answered the message
through MI Blaine but the coere isn't happy Some
| thing seems to have struck them.
Says " The Arizona Howlers A dispatch has Just
come to us over special wire from NewYOrk say
ing that the French people have elected named
Sadie Carrot as President. 1t looks II there must
be some mistake in the transmission Of this name but
as we pay big money for our special news, we can't
afford to throw 1t away account of little mistake
| In namc SO we shove her in with the single re-
mark that 1t Is better to have Carrot for President
| than dead beat for a son-in-law. In this way we
again score live beat the galoot The Rpsnorter'
| Whoopee Now is the time to subscriber
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph RamSdell, of Warren, Mass,
have Just celebrated the sixieth anniversary of their
married life. Mr. Ramsdell Is eighty seven years Of
age while Mrs. Ramsdell is eighty.
Short Hand Busincss.-"Y You must bc doing great
credit business ~ remarked reporter who happened
came in and tossed big bundle Of l. o. U.'s on the
"Yes, far more than can afford Those are some
of my hardest customers See how this bill is marked
On the back were the letters: g: T s., C. B. s..
aTbe first n means .Gone 70 stashore the second
Come Back Strapped and the third Getting In HIS
Coal which of course is further excuse for standing
US off,
"But hero is one marked; II CIV. c. A. S."
well, I'll tear that mp. That means: Hopeless
Case-Wife got seaiskin sack this fall That settles
trot Free Press "e'" Wv
1t is said that an immense reservoir Of natural gas
has been discovered in the vicinity of Ottawa Canada
and the czcns Of that city going crazy on the
subject in the approved natural gas manner.
halfinebrtated stumbled into church in
Montana town the other day Just the minister,
whose name was Gallagher, was asking In thrilling
tones, Dare tell this people here assembled what
s the dreadful penalty OF sin! hesitate to do so'
During the momentary rhetorical pause which followed
the drunken steadicd himself in the pew into
which he had dropped, and called ont with cheerful
good nature Let er go, Gallagher I'll stand by ycr'
Tho Absence of Miracles" No,n said the sceptic,
81 don't believe half Of The stories In the Bible about
people being struck dead for their sins, anything
"What stories do YOU mean7,
why about Ananas being struck dead. for IN
stance. How IS IT that the lightning doesn't strike
people dead for & lying NOWADAYS y
thunderstorm to do itn-tf.ncoln Journal.
The German papers tho death Of Louis
Harmuth. a mechanic and inventor who had been
Wholly blind since HIS tenth year He had not been
able to reap the benefit Of most of his Inventions
owing to occasional slight defects which person in
full enjoyment Of his cyesight might easily have
come. Most OF his inventions of scientific
late June last He had beon brought mp in the
Royal Blind Asylum. in Berlin, where he began by
making fine braldwork In tho latter years of his
life he devoted himself principally to intricate machine
work.
Bowery museum advertises Of its leading
attractions a whose flesh has been slowly turning
to bone during the past thirty years. The an
nounccment sets forth that this man Is under the
OF DR.. George Cleveland, brother Of the Presi
dent
Congressman Lard's proposed bill to establish IN
Nebraska experiment stations to develop the silk
and sugar industry that State Is meeting with favor
In Nebraska
Many of the editorials In Texas papers may be
described nocturnes in black and white. Here
Is one from The Tcxarkana independent
woman Is Just too, awfully lovely In newly
laundered wamsntta and lawn when fresh from close
communion with toilet soap and a crystal, watery
bath She has the ripe peach fragrance OF paradise
and tho breath Of tho cape jasmine Of the tropical
empyrcan."
Says The Pctaiuma Cal.) Courier Of November 20 :
" The finest Strawberries of the being
brought into the market hero twice . week They
sell as cheap they did earlier In the season.
There are lot OF FnglIshmcn and Scotchmen in tho
sharp member OF the club who lihes to split hairs,
has called attention to the constitution OF tho club,
which demands that every member shall acknowledge
feaity to the National Government These English
berdecarcs they high rollsrs good dinner
givers and valuable I'm consequence TO the club or
chequer. He wants to know, you know, how these
bloody Foreigners got In whether they sabscneod 70