Madison times., 1887-09-03
THE OLD KICKER.

pretty fine." said the old kicker. rs h
came into the street car, his linen dust
er wet all over one side. where he ha,
tried 20 pass lawn sprinkler, whicl
had been set gong by coachman. anl
left to squirt all over the sidewalk.
Ever have your teeth tinkered
much?" he added, sitting down BIZ the
grocery drummer, and slapping him
on the leg.
Yes, have had everything done
that dentist can do said the drum
mer. ''Now'give us rest. and don
talk all the way down town about old
teeth"
''Humph." said the old kicker. look
ing cross at the drummer. You may
know everything but l don't see how
You can, with that size head you wear
You may not care to hear M instruc-
tive lecture, but there may be others in
the car who would IKE to hear about
the most wonderful case in dental sur
gerry that ever was. You see that. -"
ia:d he, turning to the floor walker.
quitting one finger in his mouth. and
Lau!Ing the corner of it back under his
'ar. opening a large place in one side
IL his face where a large gold back
! .ooth was screnely reposing among a
.ot OF old decayed natural teeth.
Yes" said the floor walker, with a
side glance into the hole in the face of
.he old kicker. Il see something vel
.ow. Ike piece of rutabaga or carrot.
dad vegetables for breakfast, d dn't
sou? Now close that tunnel, and put
paddock on it."
That is new gold TOOTH" said the
old kicker, as he thumped on it with
MS finger nail, and closed the gap,
while the nOOr walker and the drum
mer got up and went out on the back
platform. That is n triumph of
science" he added. to the board of
trade man across the car. Il don't
know what | should have done. if the
dentist had not told me about the new
scheme of making gold teeth. Nv
teeth were going rapidly to that bourne
from whence no teeth return, when |
struck that dentist. He said rs long As
there was root left. he could build
teeth till You couldn't rest. Gosh. |
used to have as fine teeth as ANYBODY,
and could crack hic6Orynuts with them.
but one by one the roses fade, and fin
ally my teeth looked like these old
tme-worn tOnbStOnes in graveyard
of the vintage of l776. Eh?' said the
old kicker, as the board of trade man
GOT uD to 90 out.
'1ou will have to excuse me-" said
the board of trade man. Il want to
see man out on the back platform. "
'Well, Miss, will tell you about IL"
said tue old kicker, turning to an old
maid who sat near him. '.Since YOU
have got false teeth both upper and
lower, you will be interested in know
ing now YOU could have saved all YOUR
teeth and had nice gold ones like this
one of mine. Look at that and he
opened that cash in his face again.
with his finger, and turned it full on
the lady. who shrunk back with lit
tie scream. and sad:
oh, my! Go away, sir! Please don't
bite me. Is there no gentlemen here
who W II protect a young lady from g
male cam bal?"
Young lady" said the old kicker.
''You are nice looking Old Young
lady, amt you. I'll bet you are over
forty. ana wear 4 wig. Now look ut that
tooth calmly and d!spaSsionately. or
I'll call the police and the old kick
er opened his countenence again. and
the poor girl went one eye on it.
There, that's all | wanted. When a
gentleman asks YOU to gaze on the
wonders of nature. do YOU scream and
say -. my?' trow not. You gaze.
and you say it is noble. or grand, or
scrumptous, or whatever sentence
seems to fit the case. Art
IS more wonderful than nature.
Nature is the work Of the Creator.
and nature can't help herself,
while art is the work of men. and
demonstrates that man is Il daisy when
he sets about it. and holds over nature
Ov a large majority. Nature could no
more make gold tooth. madam, than
rou could trot mile in 2:0S TO har-
ness.
30, you BRUTE" said the female with
he false teeth.
Admitted. for the sake of argu-
nent," said the old kicker, who sat be-
ween the woman and the door, and !
Knew she could not get out. II say !
nature could not produce a gold tooth. |
put man could fill your mouth so full |
If gold teeth that you couldn't recite /
our catechism, if you had the money !
o pay for them. They come high. but |
We have to have 'em. Now. how do |
-ou suppose they make a gold tooth?"
20, sir, don't know. Please don't /
ook so cross. | am afraid you will ,
,ite me. I must get out here" said
he woman.
Bite nothing" said the old kicker.
Who was enthusiastic because he had an
that could not get away.
Don't hurry about getting out, and
will a tale unfold whose lightest word
will harrow up thy soul, like quills up
IN the fretful procupine," and he took
lold of her arm. while she shrunk back.
Now, in the first place, the dentist has
-ou open your mouth about eleven
nches wide. and takes a spade and
,rindstone and kicks and grinds off all
II the tooth except the root. You will
mink a whole boiler factory is at work
round your jaw. All he wants left is
he root. and YOU wonder if there is any
DOT left, after he has been in your
mouth for half day. 1t seems. rs he
,rinds away. like sewer trench, with