Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1887-10-03

The favOrite hymn Of the pious cleo
Tician: I'm going home TO dynomo.~
It would seem natural for a rarnenter
TO have a numbering gait.
The trouble with great many editors
is that they don't think one-half as much
as they write.
The man who is always claiming that
heaven i his home is always the last one
to go home
It Is true that doctors disagree, but
they don't disagree half as much as their
medicines do
1t i bad sign when a man has a ter
racotta colored nose and a breath that
viii drive flies out Of the room
Queen Victoria i said TO have taken TO
glasses-not the kind her ilu>trious son
has been partial to for so long, however.
Several ballet girls intend suing a Chi
cago paper for -HbeIlous comments on
their costumes. 1t Is hoped they will Sc
cure redress.
er. this steak i at least three weeks old.
Waiter-Cant say, sir, I've only been
here a fortnight.
Mamma-Freddie. how often have
told you not to play with your soldiers
on Sunday: Boy-Yes but mamma, this
Is a religious war.
In Chicago a few days ago Mr.. Hal
ter married a Miss Rope and the officiat-
ing clergyman's name was Rev Mr..
Knott. The couple seem to be. securely
tied.
Bessie. I hear your sister is sick.
What ais herr" i don't know, ma am.
Maybe its the diploma" The what
child:~ The diploma. I heard mother
say she took it at school"
When a woman takes hold and manag-
es farm all alone people think her won
derfulIy smart, but they never think OF
/ praising the women who manage the
farms and thei farmers too.
Her vacation didn't seem TO do youl
wife much good. Perhaps she didn't
take enough exercise:" -.Oh, yes, she did
She sat on the piazza and talked continu-
ously for three hours every day on the
stretch"
4 very pretty Sunday school song i en-
titled Put your armor on. my boys
There is an old maid who does not ike tc
hear it. She says it sounds ike Put
your arms around me boys" and it al
wavs makes her feel 50 lonesome like
Countryman (to bookseller)-M wife
wants me TO get her Testament. Book
| seIler-Yes. sir. New Testament / sup
poses~ Countryman-Well- dunno Il
| you've one that amt too much used up.
/ reckon a secondhand one would suit hel
just as well
A contemporary asks Did II ever oc
cur TO anybody that if the women Of this
country should march en- masse TO tbs
polls 10 vote no power on earth coulC
stop them Turn a COW loose Rear the
polls and the enfranchised women woulc
scatter zen masse.7 No power on eartl
could stop the panic
Sir said Ginyboat, furiously. 4 heal
that you have been spreading repor
that l stole q horse ten years ago ana
served a term for It. = certainly SAID
50. and NY information came direct from
the warden Of the penitentiary-" I de
nounce il as a base and brutal SANDER
Didn't you steal horse:" No, sir;
was mule am not horse thief"
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