Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1887-05-19

Society of Friends doesn't differ materially
from the man who has hustled thro' seis-
mic disturbance. Both are earth-Quakers.
A portrait of death as lars, as life, was
lately advertised in an Irish provincial paper.
-ErchWge.
In the line of bulls Milesian this is a
thoroughbred.
Where. on where is Bourbon Doodle 10 come
from in Morgo'toru Post.
Even if YOU will have something to sell
we can't see why you are in such hurry to
deal in futures.
We see some Of the papers referring to
the appointment of Mr.. Jno. T. Colston 10
be a Director of the Insane Asylum call
him Col. Holstein. The Colonel is a tho
roughbred, but not a Holstein.
Senator Faulkner was born on the 2lSt
of September. The editor of THE FREE
Press was born ON the DIST of March. No
wonder Old Sol crossed the line and restored
the equality Of the nights and days.
There Is no magnetism about Charley
Faulkner" observed a Morgantown Democrat
Thursday when che news came OF MS election
-Nor010'orl Post hci.l.
There's a magnitude about him that's an
Offset 10 all the isms of the day.
England finally refuses to let the Gate
City Guards of Atlanta pass through her
territory on their proposed European tramp,
but Capt Burke and the boys are hopeful
of getting there all the same. They sail
June Is.
Al. Cowau OF Vcnaugo, Pennsylvania,
has had 90 sell TO butcher for $50 the no.
ted cow Electa for which De once refused
an offer of $4,000. The animal had chron-
ic ailment. How very sick that farmer
must feel, too.
Poor deludcd Johnnie Wise is making
himself sick trying 90 convince the 2. o. p.
that his nomination tor Vice President next
wear : will add several Southern States TO
the republican column Name 'em, John
ME, name 'em.
When Philadelphia audience does not
approve the flavor of public performance
it expresses its disapprobatiou by hurting
ancient and malodorous heu-truit at the
professionals. IT,, bad egg fora bad song
-retributiye justice, indeed
1t may not have occurred to you before,
butthe men whose acknowledgement wives
are tied back the tightestare themselves the
most cruelty tied-down. Curious coinci-
dence. isn't it?-but there's a tide in the
affairs of men" &c, for all that.
And now the question isl being asitated have
the Interstate Commission any authority 90
inquire into the nature and construction OF
the doughuut> sold bob railroad restaurants p
UQsii.1'.n >fHtW Gazette.
Certainly-under the long and short haul
provision. Some doushnuts are long and few
short
One Of those sweet Treasury girls -
down in Washington has, it is said, just re-
ceived 100000 for a hundred-acre farm
near Birmingham, Alabama. As usual
coal ore. She is now i'm position to snap
her fingers in the face of the civil service
commission
The Republican editors of the State are
drawing long breaths now They have been
so afraid that somebody would be corrupted,
you know. And editor Mason is short of
breath from rushing into print with appre-
tensions that Senator Faulkner will fall in
to the hands of scheming politicians and |
railroad lobbyists.
It costs s. or So. according to the size
Of il. TO kiss a girl in Druid Hill Park, Bal
timore-if caught in the osculatory act by |
the police. But a fellow isn't expected to
wake the Waterman, however regardless he |
may be of five OF twenty-five in view Of
labial expression Of his devotion to the
girl or his obedience TO the law.
Il is rather amusing 90 his friends 20 see SEN
atOr Faulkner spoken of in some of the papers |
as am unmarried man and classcd as one ofthe |
Quite anumber of newspapers have fallen
into the error Of supposing that q Benedict
is an unmarried man. The richest benedic-
ton of Gods grace 20 Senator Faulkner is
the wife of his bosom-the dream of his
young love.
Gov. Wilson sent word TO the Senate on
the last day of its session that he was will
ling to outfit it was.7 It was polite way
to "holler nuf.' The Senate adjourned
We suppose the Governor quit and went
home as we have not heard anything from
him subsequent TO his remark anterior to
which he and the Senate pommeled each
other without gloves OF regard TO grace,
mercy or ceremony.
The Wheeling IgtsHigmcr takes the right
view when il expresses the opinion that it
makes no difference that the Governor re-
fuses 70 certify TO the election Of a Senator.
If the election is good, it viii be sufficient
that it is certified by the presiding officers
Of the two Houses Ifit were otherwise the
if so disposed, could always pre-
vent a Senator-elect from taking his seat.