The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1887-04-01
STRAY SUNBEAMS.
Gathered as They Sparkle From the
Pen of HumOro

QOQ l0ea or MS Immortal soul.
When Mrs Mackey gives dinner to
the Prince, she has nine different kinds
OF pie.
There is one place where busybodies
is a hornets nest.
The woman you can call a poem is
not the woman you can call early in
the morning to get breakfast.
One thing can be said in favor of the
ice man. IT he has any left over he
doesn't warm IL up for breakfast.
A woman's beauty is most perfect
A newspaper hustle is just the thing
In race for the prize of being called
belle of the ball, it is frequently neck
and-neck finish with society beauties.
"Your horse has tremendous long
bit" said friend to noted Wag.
YES he responded, it is "a bit too
long,"
Stranger-Does Mr.. Jones live on
this floor? Musical young lady-No,
sir, his room is an octave higher, in the
next fiat.
Ruth was not a designing woman,
and yet she managed to get as good a
Boaz any Of tlIe other girls who both
seWed and rraped.
1t must be exasperating to the city
beau to read about counting by the
gate, Whti. he has nothing to lean
against but the scraper.
Hotel Proprietor" We don't allow
| on Of
"This isn't a game of chance. Ny
friend here has no chance"
A glass bottle factory is to be estab-
lished i'll Atlanta. Ga. There is large
local demand i'll the South which this
enterprise expects to supply,
If people Who mean to begin to read
should read ill the advice to readers
about reading, hey wouldn't have time
to read anything else.
A convict with a ball and chain
attachment, CAV" rs an excuse for not
takl = sum Il i. zion, tllAt he was
, too closely tied t. business.
"rhat is eennil,. butter" remarked
| the 'eom1r gtrli man, as he gathered
hin "lf up off tlc ground after the
goa had got through with him.
The Phrenolog r. Il Journa! says: "In
choosing a wife, De governed by her
| chin "A man is apt to he governed
by the same thing after he gets wife.
| Ever pious souls are sometimes
tempted to lapse into the wanton spirit
OF the little maiden who prayed
"Pease, Mr.. God, I'm tired O. bein'
made sood-won'1 you Kill pap
How long has Brown been married.
Charley?" "Didn't know he was mar
ried at all. don't b 'lieve he is either"
! Yes, he is: | not "ed him turn pale
when the clock struck ELEVEN"
Belle Ma, do you know what cafe
au lait is p Mrs Mushroom" I
don't know exactly, darling; but l su D.
pose cafe all lay is coffee with an egg
in it."
Mrs. Gubbins says she never allows
her boy, Jim, to eat jam, for her hus-
band died of the jim-jams, and she
don't propose to run any chances with
| the boy.
There is one advantage about the
big, short-measure silver dollar.
| Thieves do not take them in large
quantities where the transportation is
limited.
The meanest man so far ON record
lives in New Haven. His wife asked
him to give her pet. some animal
that would stick to her, and the next
evening he brought home eech
A little three-year old Cir: discovered
a neighbors hen scratching in the gar
den, AMI running into the house she
said to her mother in most indignant
tone: "Ma that hen next door is
wipine her feet on our gTassr'
Judge" Have you anything to say
before the court passes sentence upon
you?" Prisoner =" Well I'LL got to
say is, hope yer honor II consider the
extreme youth and greenness Of my
lawyer, an let me off easy"
Adirondack Murray, the eccentric
preacher, is married again. Ills boosted
knowledge of " How to to,'I a Beef
steak" will now serve him 70 ID turn,
but the chances are that he will expect
his wife to furnish the steak.
"Why did she do it?' asks an ex-
change. Because first. her feet were
awfully cold. ST 'oNd, he had been in
bed an hour, Therefore warm md COM
Portable; third, what is husband good
for if not to WARM his wifes feet on,
! anyway?
| One of our exchanges prints a long
editorial entitled "Tho Brass"
1t is believed the articl Inspired
by a recen: visit of q pat" j, ,n4licine
AGENT VINO allied a col ,,'1 ldvei tise-
ment one year and ifty-tNo reading