The Washington critic., 1887-12-21
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
drs. Cleveland Treats Herself to a
Sleigh.Ri
JOKE ON A CONGRESSMAN.
low Mrs. Fitzpatrick Was Swindlcd
by the Undcrtakers.
JOKE ON A CONGRESSMAN.

attended church IN washington ihst /
Sunday. He had been at the caucus the
night before, and the effects OF the cNer-
tions still told upon him. He had Just !
dropped off into comfortable doze |
when the minister read his text: II
would rather be n doorkeeper in the
house Of the Lord than to dwell in tents
of wickcdness." The startled Congress-
man forgot his surroundings for
moment, and supposing that some one
was buzzing him for a vote, for the
office of Doorkccper of the House oil
Representatives, he sprang to ms leet,
and, looking directly at the preacher,
nid in distinctly audible voice: That
was all settled in caucus last night:
Hurt got the nomination. You had
better look out for another job"
w.
Says the Washington correspondent OF
thc Macon (Ga.) Telegraph: Mrs. Mills,
The wife of Representative Roger ..
Mills of Texas, is straight, fine-look-
.ng, well-formed lady, with dark eyes
and beautiful wavy hair, into which the
gray is beginning to creep. She was
Miss Jones when Mills fell in love with
her years ago, and the marriage took
,,lacc when they were both quite young.
Mrs. Mills father was noted man in
,arly Texas history. He was connected
with the Texas revolution, and / am
old that once when there was II move
mcnt to seize the archives in the state
house he organized company and
defended the property. Mrs. Milis'
brother, General John b. Jones, mas
been Adiutant-General of the State, and
hc family is one of the leading ones OF
Texas. Mrs. Mills is thoroughly wrapped
up in her husband, and she is almost
as much Interested in his tariff work as
himself. They have Il very pleasant
'amilv, one married daughter living in
California and another one living here.
Another daughter is Il schoolgirl still,
md IL in one of the seminaries OF
Washington.
Says Colonel Pat Donan in the New
York Press: "'rhe social sensation at
Washington is, of course, the marriage
IF Berry Wall, your Rex Dudorum. to
Mis- Saomc Melbourne. The young
,udys father, Major W. +. Melbourne,
was my old local editor of the st. Joseph
(NIo.) ITndicator. When mobs became
u little too promiscuous about the Office
in 1868, Mrs. Melbourne, who is niece
,f General John A. McClernand Of Hi
lois, became so uneasy about her hus-
lunl's safety that secured him his first
'iril position. II cicrkshipin the office of
General Bob Bradshaw, city register of
st. Joseph. The young lady is exceed
ingly pretty, and as bright us n bushel
ia'aet OF lightning bugs. She made her
elut last winter and was in great de-
lIlnl at entertainments, receiving with
Mrs. Whitney, Mrs. Manning and many
,,e queen is worthy Of the king, and
Jerry is to be congratulated"
'-'" ''~ ~
~ ararglad to sce,' said prominent
gentleman 10 Now York Press reporter,
''that influential S.clergymen of the
Episcopal denomination have started a
movement to effect reform in burials.
They cost altogether too much. Why,
1t costs more to die than it does to live"
How much does it cost to bury per.
son of moderate circumstances ?"
"Well, there is scarcely a possibility OF
having n funeral of even ordinary char.
acter at less than 500. Even the very
poor cannot put away their dead for less
than $40 or $50. / read an account OF
the death of the last slave in New York
State not long ago, and it cost Sl60 tC
bury the poor woman. And when you
get up among prominent people the cos
Is enormous. The Senate, | see, ha,
wisely cut down the charges in the bill
Of Vice-President Hendricks obsequies
But the bill in General Fitzpatrick
funeral was outrageous" "liow mucl
vas that ?" asked the reporter. 81
ooted up $3,7S5 in Chill alone. Th,
casket cost $1,000. can Civ,
you the items. Here they are
70 exhulning remains. s........,..,...... : %,
10 ono set silver casket cards. lO
To one plate, engraved. ...,.,............. 81
TO removal and deposit in cathedral.,., 15'
10 accompanying remains TO santago...' 15
To attending remains on steamer..".... 10
Totnl..... ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, 10
"NIrs. Kilpatrick's means We're yer,
limited, but she was obliged to pay tn
bill. After she had discharged the oh
legation she was, am informed, lief
without money" "You say Fitzpatrick
body was taken to cathedral. Was h
Catholic?" "No; but his wife was.
is noteworthy incident in his caree
that, when he was young, he was en-
gagged to young lady in Brooklyn. Tn
engagement was broken of by the CON
bined efforts of the parents Of both. Hi
parents objected because the young lad
was a Catholic. Her parents objecte
because he was Protestant and YET
at last he married Catholic, his bod
lay in a Catholic cathedral, and whe
he was buried at West Point Catholi
priest performed the service at tn
grave"
When the snow began the other day
says Fred. Mussey in his Washingto
letter to the Cincinnati Conmereia
Gasette, Mrs. Cleveland was shopping 0
the Avenue with one Of her guests an
they shortly afterwards took herdic
the White House. Mrs. Cleyelan
passed up her fare to colored man I
deposit in the box. Neither the colore
man nor anybody else in the herdic ha
any idea who the young lady was, bt
the whole party became very wild
awake MS TO her identity, when she an
her companion alighted at the Whit
House and scampered up the broad wal
through the fast-ialling snow. Mr.
Cleveland at once made things lively i
.he White House. There was ringing {
bells and hurrying Of servants an
grooms, aud, within half an hour, tn
big old White House sleigh, which la
been stored away unused for severa
years, was brought out, with horse
and bells, and robes, and Mrs. Cleye