The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1887-03-19
THE PRESS.
SATURDAY MORNING, MARCH 10.
WIT AND WISDOM.


Johnny, thought you told me the kettle
wasn't boiling, and it's nearly boiled dry"
mother, told you the truth You asked me IL
me Kettle was biin', and said mo-, because it
Why Johnnyi How dare you tell me such
II didn't tell you any story, mother--tbe kettle
wasn't bilin' and isn't bilin yit ifs the water in
the Kettle that's bilin' Mother, you should learn
10 speak proper"
Disorders which Affect the Kidneys
Are among the most formidable known. Diabe-
tes, Brights disease. gravel, and other cemnlaints
oil the urinary organs are not Ordinarily cured in
severe cases, but they may be averted by timely
medication. useful stimulant of the urinary
glands has ever been found in Hostetter's stom-
ach Bitters, medicine which rot only affords the
requisite stimulus when they become inactive, but
increases their vigor and secretive power. By
increasing the activity of the kidneys and blad.
der this medicine has the additional effect of ex-
penlng from the blood impurities which IL Is the
peculiar Office Of those organs 10 eliminate and
strengthener Of the bowels. an inyiporant Of the
stomach, and matehess remedy for biliousness
nI Lever ahague: II counteracts tendency 70
premature ueeay and sustains and comforts the
aged and inflrm
~, I'm :, going to pay Bridget so cents more
Has she asked an advance?"
mo- put you see want TO go into the kitchen
fhis inara"sn,3i anu Sho says sue wiz aiVM IL ior
, Perhaps for dollar more she would let you
ORDER your mealso
Hardy, AZ any rate, don't dare to try it."
Palpitation OF the heart, nervousness, tremb-
iings, nervous headache, cold hands and feet.
pain In the back, and other forms of weakness
are relieved by Carter.s Iron Pills. made es-
peclaly for the blood, nerves and complexion.
Omaha Mani suppose you have very carefully
examined the interstate commerce bill?
times.
*Y0 gu are then, Of course, thoroughly familiar
well, l can't ind anything in 1t except that it
iorbids the issue OF passes"
Do not suffer from Sick Headache moment
longer It'll not necessary. Carters Little Liv-
er Pills will cure you. Dose, one pill, All drug
gists sell them.
A little daughter OF one OF Detroit's ministers
was sent into closet with the injunction to tell
God what naughty little girl she had been
AT the expiration of her penance hour she came
forth very quietly, as II her discipline had very
wholesome effect
"Well little daughter" said the mother. 'did
you tell God all about it?"
mo, mamma was the reply; ~ des didn't do
Diet out OF the family
GIVE Ely'S Cream Balm trial. This
justly celebrated remedy for the cure of catarrh
hay fever cold in the head &c., can be obtained
of any reputable druggist and may be relied upon
as safe and pleas ant remedy for the above com
plants and viii give immediate relief 1t is not |
liquid, snuff or powder, has no offensive odor |
and can be used at any time with good results, as
thousands can testify, among them some of the |
attaches of this office Spirit Of the Times, NAY |
90 1886.
A genial imbeclle wearing about $4,000 worth /
OF diamonds smilingly assured Mr. Lowell that,
although she had never met him before, she had /
always felt as If she were well acquainted with |
him; for" she added, "ny maiden name was |
Bgelow."
Millions use DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup. % cents
No horseman can afford to be without tive |
have used Salvation Oil in our tables and can |
say it's the best and cheapest liniment we have
ever used sEIBERT & MCDONNELL, Paca
St., BALTIC.
Little Claude has been told that Uncle Ezra is |
afflicted with glass eye and forgets that he has
been told to say nothing about it, and one day he |
says:
"Will you let me take your eye a little while, |
Uncle Ez? My other marble has rolled down the |