Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1887-08-19
Learning TO Think.

Sir Isaac Newton, of Newton Cen
+ ire, Mass was one of the greatest
thinkers in his bootleg. Whatever he
saw he endeayored to find out the
cause for it. But as he was thinking
all the time he didn't see great deal.
One day, as he was sitting in his gar
den oiling up his thinker,
he saw an apple fall from q
tree. Most men would have suppos-
ed that it fell of its own accord, but
Sir Isaac had been boy himself long
before founding the theological semina-
ry which perpetuates his name which
by the way is a very easy one to
spell. He at once began to wonder
what made the apple fall; some fool.
ish people say that he wondered why
it didn't fall up and instead of down,
but that is all rubbish. Sir Isaac
was no fool if he was a philosopher,
and be knew that everything falls
down except o wig, and false hair.
After pronounced awfter) much
thought and study upon the subject,
be discovered the cause; he
noticed that the apples
were. more apt to fall down af-
ter school was dismissed than during
study hours. So the next time he went
into the garden he laid low and when
tie apple fell be held his breath until
the cause came swiftly oyer the fence
to pick up the effect. Sir Isaac col
Jared the boy, for it was he, and
taught him how easily pain might be
produced by the the rapid impinge-
ment of common apple switch upon
exposed or only partially protected
portions of the human form. He il
lastratel his theory with q few SIM
pie experiments such as boy of ordi-
nary intelligence could easily compre-
hend. This valuable discovery of Sir
Iaac's has been a great boon to
grown -up-humanity. 1t is now uni.
verally known that apples are more
apt to fall when there are few boys
at large in the vicinity than at any
other time, and that apples will fall for
boy when they might have defed
the laws of gravitation for months
longer. This sublime fact teaches
US that notifications that are at first
artificial are rendered spontaneous by
hereditary,
The incident of the apple tree,
however, had one bad effect on Sir
Isacc. 1t led him to hate boys. and
he devoted much of his time to max
ing life burden to them. With this
revengeful object in view be invented
thu attraction Of gravitation, and by
q joint resolution of Congress, which
he accomplished by persuading the
members of the house that there was
big appropriation in it, he got it es-
tablished fundamental law ofnature
With jurisdiction over the tides, the
seasons and the movements of plan
cts, and many other things which
boys have since been compelled to
learn. So it is whenever boy sees
an apple he thinks of Sir Isaac New
ton first, and then he thinks Of
some way to get the apples,
and by and by he wonders if
if he can get some pain-killer in the
dark, and then he thinks how awful
it would be to die there, all alone in
the night, and then he thinks if he
lives till morning he will give his
apples to his little brother, and thus
you see quite train of thought is
awakened in the boys mind by sir
Isaaq's great discovery.
Sir Isaac nevor took out q patent no
his discovery, but the Bell Telephone
company claims that the principle is
covered by their invention and patents
relating thereto, and if the courts
sustain this claim, as they probably
will, every time a maa picks up
apytaina that he has dropped down
he will have to pay to the teleohone
company a royaty, and every time he
has any thing to do with the telephone
company he will drop something
BURDETTE.