Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1887-03-04
the history of the jail proved to have been
aggravated by atrocous cruelty on the
part of brutal governor.
BILL NYE'S HEALTH IOuR.

BILL NYE'S HEALTH TOUR.
| have recently taken quite a railway
trip into the South in search of my health,
writes Bill Nye. called my physicians
together, and they decided by rising
vote that ! ought to go to warmer cline,
or would enjoy very poor health all
winter. So decided to go in search of
my health, if died on the train.
| bought tickets at Cincinnati of a pale
sallow liar, who is just beginning to work
his way up to the forty-ninth degree in
the order of Ananas. He will surely be
heard of again some day, as he has the
elements that go to make up successful
liar.
lie said that | could go through from
Cincinnati to Asheville, n. c., only one
easy change of cars, and in about twenty
three hours. 1t took me twice that. and
| had to change cars three times in the
dead of night.
All night long, except when we were
changing cars, we ratified along over
wobbling trestles and third mortgages.
The cars were graded from third class
down. The road itself was not graded
at all.
They have the same old air in these
coaches that they started out with. Differ
ent people, with various STYLES of breath
have used the air and then returned it.
They are using the same air that they did
before the war. 1t is not. strictly speak
ing, national air. 1t is more of a
languid air, with dark circles around its
eyes.
At one place where | had an engage
ment to change cars we had a wait of
four hours, and reclined on a haircloth
lounge at the hotel, with the intention of
sleeping part of the time.
| was told that this was a kind. family
lounge that would not shy or make
trouble anywhere, and | had only lust
closed my dark red and mournful eyes in
sleep when this lounge gently bumped
itself and shed me as it would its smooth
dark hair in the spring ira la. The floor
caught me in its great strong arms, and |
vaulted back upon the polished bosom of
the haircloth lounge. 1t was made for
man about fifty-three inches in length,
and so had to sleep with my feet in my
pistol pockets and my nose in my bosom
up to the second joint.
got so that could rise off the floor
and climb on the lounge without waking
up. 1t got to be second nature to me. |
did it just as man who is hungry in his
sleep bites off large fragments of the air
and eats it invOluntarily and smacks his
lips and snorts. So arose and deposited
myself again and again on that old sway
back but frolicsome wreck without wax
:, ing. But | couldn't get aboard softly
enough to avoid waking the lounge. 1t
would yawn and rumble inside and rise
and fall like the deep rolling sea, till at
last | gave up trying to sleep on it any
more, and curled up on the floor.
The hair cloth lounge in various condi-
tons of decreptitude may be found all
through this region. Its true inwardness
is composed of spiral springs which have
gnawed through the cloth in many in
stances. These springs have lost none
of their old elasticity of spirits, and cor
daily corkscrew themselves into the af-
fections of a man who sits down on them.
If any thing could make me thoroughly
attached to the South it would be one of
these spiral springs bored into my person
about foot But that is the only way
to remain on hair cloth chair or sofa
> No man ever successfully sat on one of
them for any length of time unless he
had strong pair Of pantaloons and a
spiral spring twisted into him for some
distance.
At the private house the hair cloth sofa
with pair of dark reserved chairs NAV
be found in domesticated state, waiting
for some one to come and fall off Them
5 In hotels they go in larger focks, and
e Craze together in the parlor. They are
Y greatly in favor among the more blue
: blooded mass here-the blue mass. as it
e We're.