The Dillon tribune., 1887-04-15
MIR. AND MRS. EUWSER.
THE HUSBAND PREPARES A GRANn
SURPRISE FOR HIS WIFE.

w Nll q y" 'nIlE:' exclaimed Mr.
B"-;:"r. ~; ]:c RI, H,l into tho ;ittino roo:,,
without t"isi'H; ':..r" To leave his hat and
ovoIcoat ", the hall rack.
''So,.l,s 81 Cur relations: t,ca.i:''
'Relation>? Nav: Mrs. Rovser, for
the past two or l'.ycc weeks | have been
preparing surprise for you--;a great sur
prise. l'o" much milk do we use around
this housc ,!cily:''
''Threc quarts Of milk aud a pint Of
cream
''Exactly, Mrs. Bower, exactly. And
the cost is t"cnty-fOnr cents. You call it
milk. b!t what l., ii? \ compound Of
chalk anti water, which must kill It's in
side Of five years
''Aiid arc YOU going to change milk.
menu
'Excctly, Mr.. Rowscr. am going to
bc my own H,ilkn,an aftcr this!'
"Iou are going tn-to''-
'Yes, LII, going 10 l,:;;' !, cow
'Bnt you "lH-:Hs get cheated on >uc',
things.''
|. ''Do I? That; Ill you kno,, about if!
When l don't make 2j per cent. profit /
want to ls' kicked. \ COW will he the
best payin:; investment We ever made
just figure tor yourself: There are twelve
quart, q! rich milk per day, ut six cents
per quart. Th":s scvcnty1wo cents Ecr
day Or ::>;'.ol pc. week. rake oct .cycuty-
five cents rs the cost Of her keeping. and
yoN have & clear profit OF *.!::9. l.; that
u SNi,.llc: We can't Use over four quarts
per day, and can therefore sell eight to
the neiGhicrs. Just speak t. Green and
Smiths folks. will you;''
Mr.. EUEsl.l.'s; WARNING:
''Mr. Hnwser, ,!o:.'t yen rr,nci1!Aer cur
pig?''
Pig. pig! What las IL Dur,.ill cow
got 10 ''n :,ith !: short horn pi.r: And,
besides yo;.:' nv;,i base c,.:,urt '.i,ctl .!at
animal Mrs. HoH':>r. dent su, dare ;t-
! tempt Any tricks ON NY cow. | don't
wal; {: sc.,u'i:.i ',@t Ill divorce you il
SOl, ever l;;o?. cree, eyed at her
''Ncli, We'll see no" yoE'll cnr,u out"
"Oh, ycs-tilrow cold water on E,y cf-
fort, to give yCu oil the comforts CT life.
It's /. wonder to me that l cont get dis
covrased and 20 to the gutter, Us na:.y II
good man has,
Early the next morning y woman APP
| pcarc,l witt, 3. COW and calf. having them
! tied behind l!cr wagon. The calf was tied
as we'll as the COW, and ! noticed that it
| seemed to BE- doing; its best to keep away
| FROM her. This Scc..lcd SO singular that I
! went TO the bac!. door to speak to Mr.
! BowaCr shout it, hl:t l." promptly called
! to ne:
''Gct back there! DC you want to get
this COW excited and her blood heated
! up!''
| lie paid for his new E,ilcl COW and
! placed COW and calf in the barn, end after
| giving them an hour TO quiet down he
came in for ne. After looking the ami
mails owe, asked:
| 'lir. ::ow>cr how ol! is that calf!''
| ''I'ilrGc weeks
! ''An;! hat coz. is its nUthrr:'
''itH l::othrr: You don't think she's its
uncle or GG1i.,!i;:'.;lac. 40 yoy; You must
| be getting, St,i; IN the acadH'
| do you notice that 81" won't own il?
See there. She's ready to cripple it if it
comes near
| Mrs. Euwser, sou 90 in and attend to
| your gossip and that wall eyed baby, and
| dol'C you dare to come near this barn
again! i,"u have become cross eyed and
scft headcd.''
Iwcnt in, but two hours later, when he
had Il butcher up to buy the calf, l slipped
| out and heard the man say:
''rhat':: the way of it, Rowser. That
| isn't her calf any more than you arc
| Queen Victoria's brother. The cow may
! be all right. however: she looks like |;
! good nill:cr.'
! The c:.!f was driven away. and Mr.
! EoWscr put in n, afternoon at making {.
! milk stool ard fixing h,tt0ns on the COW 8
| horns. After supper lc went out and
| ,l,illc;:. ;;!u as Ike i3jruG!h ii Il pail cvu:.
| full llr SGT ii or ':> kitchen table Wit. tlu
::pl">"!; remark:
| '',I, 1T have t,Ot six ;ll,;l.t* l!urr. bilt
got tired.
i'iiI.i:I; GL..S".:& ,U!. SUPPER.
! lie 11,::s!" Il great :st!,' ;,h0;:t drinking
; three s,l;1*&cs Tor supper. Hih Ike cook vas
s>:,t .,tr,.d .c nc;,r.1)e;rE.tct, to t,rUli up
| for awhile. iu; finally l.."ltns; enough ia
! inquire:
"N'rii, .;;;i you t;lstcaj'y chalk ii tl'at:''
$50, ',nt did YOU observe that it had :.,l
Old t::&tc:?'
''I. what t!o yCil mean
~ Tia. calf didn't belong 10 her what
| is the inirrcncc:'
He rose ~, turned as vl:tc - a sheet,
and ;l;ti:. !, great {: o:t !,!li:Gcd to say:
.''r!.c inference il; that .uu cont know
| enough % come in when it rains! Mrs.
Eov5cr. YOU l;iled OF ny hens, and yo;:
causc,l tho death CT NY ri2! Take care
how you coi:,!;rc with lGy COW! There is
y I::.;t to which a human being can be
pu:,Gtl!'
Not hing further was said until next
,norn;nr, when the quantity of la!lS
GrCprc, Off to four quarts Logan 10
exr,rcs; wonder and ai.iaZemcnt, but -lr.
8ov;scr interrupted r.e with:
81 didn't expect even that much this
mor::inr. S;Ac is gricying for ier calf. -
III" quantity at night was the same,
and NJ EoU.~r's E:ari!e brow wore Il
look CT anxiety. AT tic ca, III u "cci.
the quantity had iGllcn to three Quarts 1t
Il milling, eve! with Mr.. Eo":cr feeding