Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-10
E.EKF F.

"What's the name of this dish, mother?" ''Veal, Johnny" ffDon't like it. I ain't no ! prodigal's son. ''-New York Journal. The discourse of the spirits at spiritual | istio seance are of course always listened to ! with rapped attention Merchant Traveller. The Swedish word for maiden is 'sFlick- er." This is because when she finds home tiresome she aickers and goes out.-New York Commercial Advertiser. A lady living in Rappahannock county, Va., had twelve stands of bees, which were very valuable until distillery was started in the neighborhood. Since it was started how ever, the bees pay frequent visits to the still get very drunk and are of little proft.-NeW Orleans Picayune.
 "I trust your late husband had something laid up for rainy day." said a sympathizing friend.
 Indeed he had, replied the widow with 8 fresh burst of tears, Che had seven umbrel< las. John was the thriftiest man ever see. D Chicago Tribune.
 There are many inconsistencies in the boasted institutions of the American repub- lie. This is the only country in the world where there is absolutely free speech, and also the only enc in which lecturer may de- mand 8 hundred dollars for an hours talk and get it.-Lowell Citizen. Very considerate indeed.-She-'sI hope, Mir. Funk, we will have the pleasure of your company at our receptions" He (with self elf-abnegation)-"A life is devoted to the gentle sex-of course I'll be there-I-aw-never consult my own happi- ness on such occasions Judge
 Bobby was at neighbor's, and in response to piece of bread and butter politely said: 'tThank you" ''That's right, Bobby" said tho lady, "I like to hear little boys say Thank you.'" F'Yes, ma told me I must say that if you give me anything to eat, even if it was nothing but bread and butter "- Christian Advocate.
 'fI say, Sprigstein, I don't hear you howl ing round so mulch now about Anarchy, So modern inventions. Whats come over you? didn't it paya" "Vell, you see, Shorty the shircumstanshes vas schanged leetle. My onkle in Owstralia, he died lasht week, unt I shust get word as he leefs me tree tousan' dollar. You don't peleefe divite 1t init deese fellers- selyl"-Harper's Week. ly.
 At dinner not long ago one of the guests remarked that Bavarian horses were eelebrat- ed for their worthlessness. He said that dealer sold one to German officer during the Franco-Prussian war, and warranted him to be a good war horse. The soldier came back afterwards in towering passion and said he had been swindled. "And howl" said the dealer. "Why, there is not bit of 'go' in him, and yet you warranted him as good war horse" "Yes, did; and, by Georgel he is good war horse. He'd sooner die than runl"--Exchange.
 The excursions carried great many eoun- try people to the Mechanics fair in Boston One of them went up from this way, a eau tious old man who stands high in the coun- cils of his town. He was asked to buy a small charm representing a section of the ocean cables and showing the arrangement of the wires. He examined it carefully and then handed it back, disgusted, saying: "Go long, young man, you can't cheat the old squire. There ain't any hole in that thing, and know the 'lectricity can't get through it."1Concord (N. H.) Monitor.
 When we found he was getting the hiccough
 While drinking, he said II must piccough
 My hat and depart,
 Or my wife, bless her heart,
 At home will be making kiccough."
 Boston Courier