davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Actions Of Drowning Persons.

II believe / can tell lust bv the clutch
how many times a drowning person has
been down., musinglv remarked Ed.
ward Horn, Of Detroit, who has saved
sxty-four lives. "The first trip down
they 90 for you with firm, decided
clutch that meaHs they still know what
they are about. The second immersion
causes shaky, uncertain grip, which
can be easily broken if you so choose.
II is the last time down that the grasp
becomes convulsivc, bewildercd one.
aud but few swimmers can save a per-
son after the unfortunate man has de.
scendcd for the third time. Almost in
yariably the drowning man on his final
Journey below the water will seize his
preseryer by the legs. 1t seems to be a
law Of nature and one ! cannot account
for. IL would be easier to save whole
river full of men than one drowning
woman. The odd feature of the latter's
struggle in the water Is that she will
seize your hands if size can get hold of
one or both of them. A woman will
drown quicker than a man. She opens
her mouth from the time she first strikes
the water and never closes it, and SO
loses her senses more easily. Yes, [
saw one person die of strangtllation
while we were under water together.
His eyes were wonderfully fascinating
as he stared helplessly at me. You may
not believe it, but they shone like two
balls Of fire. "
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
UMOROUS.
A Great nronhet per cent.

A great prophet 100 per cent.
A poor relation-A blood and thunder
story.
A railing woman is like swordish.
She carries a weapon in her mouth
A squall makes boats capsize, but
makes a baby's mouth one size larger.
An enthusiastic meeting two girls
who haven't seen each other for an hour
Shakespeare was not broker; but
does any one know who else has fur
nished so many stock quotations.
Now is the accepted time, remarked
the poor young man solemnly when his
girl told him she would have him.
A firm who advertised for boy "to
do heavy work. received but one appli-
cant and he came in charge of his
father
"Custom made pants, " asserts tailor.
We do not suppose this fact can be de.
MED. Custom is responsible for a good
many things
The walters ready explanation; GLOW
dare you give me such dirty napkin as
this" Beg pardon, sir; got folded
the wrong way sir"
An Ohio factory turns out $1,000, O0C
matches day, and yet many a man has
barked his SHIN on a rocking chair be
cause he didn't have one of them.
Husband attempting to sing My
voice is rather h-hus husky tonight.
Wife-"No wonder it's husky You are
full of corn Newman Independent.
A young man named Darling lives in
Bridgeport, and when any one calls tc
him in the street, every young lady near
bushes and looks around, gently saying,
"Sh, sh.'
A news item tells Of the marriage Of
"a widow of only eight days standing
1t is not surprising that a widow, alteI
standing eight days, should do some
thing rash.
1t is said that the next edition OF
Webster will describe 'yearning as the
"feeling which Eastern people have tc
get away from Daktoa after passing one
winter in that region"
Mother Canxiously-rm afraid yor
are giving the paby too much sugar,
James.
Father Not at all my dear I want
him to be full Of grit.
Darling he whispered, "did yor
ever experience fluttering sensation Of
the heart---an inward sinking so to
speak2' .Yes, love, " she family mur.
mured '.Why2" "Because, if You
have, | know how to prevent it, ooh,
John, tell me how" "Why, just use
plenty of pepper when you eat cucum-
bers.
The young, unmarried girl in sport
Is called bud Of PROMISE
She blooms each year at some resort
The weather when it warm is.
And in the Fall a score Of men,
Whose hearts till now have harm missed,
Compare sad notes and find out then
To each the bud is promised
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09

A young Alb rlonian, bashful, but des-
perately in lose, hndlng that no no,ce
was taken Of his frequent visits to the
house of hi sweet cart, summoned up
sufficient courage to addr IS his fair one
thus:
Jean, l wis here on Monday nicht.'
"Aye, ye wcr that" acknowledged
she.
can I wis her: on Tuesday nicht."
"An' l wis her on Wednesday" con
tinued the ardent youth.
'Ayo, al ye we're here on Thursday
nicht."
Az l wis here last NIGHT, Jean"
"Weel she said, ''what if ye were"
"An' am her this nicht agan."
can what aboot it, even if ye cam
every nichtf"
"What aboot it, did ye say, Jean2
Div ye no begin to smell rat atlo-LDub-
lin Nation.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Heroisnl.

Not on the battlefield, deem.
Are deeds the most heroic done;
Not where the sword and bayonet CLEAN
Are victories the grandest won
Not in the plague infested town,
Where stay the few the sick to save,
And for their lives their own lay down,
Shalt thou behold the worlds most brave
IN acts Of great self sacrifice,
OF which all men with wonder hear,
A secret inspiration lie
That stirs the soul and conquers fear.
To do the duty few shall know
And knowing, scorn what God requires,
The menial duty far below,
The task to which the heart aspires.
To do such service, out Of love,
Unmoved by either praise or blame,
And with a steadfast soul above
The reach Of either pride or shame,
Displays a courage that alone
In one such act doth far outshine
All other earth had ever known
A courage Christlise and divine.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09

The French frog farm is much like
one of our cranberry meadows "a swamp
laid out in broad bitches with grassy
banks between them We remember
years ago passing one Of these farms in
the vicinity of a large French city in
the early evening, arl being drawn to
notice it by the dcalening music from
the thousands Of fat fellows sitting in
the damp grass and now and then
splashing into tile bitches and continu-
ing to sing thl.r. lays as they protruded
Ffheff snouts j.As.S .,l,.,-se the surface Of the
water. These frogs were a special
breed, Rama esculenta by name, but
differing very little from our handsome,
slender specimen found in marshes, and
having bright green and brown spotted
skin. Our common bull frog is said to
quite as delicate in flavor, and more ac-
ceptable in point of meat than the escu-
lent species OF Europe, and as the natu-
raj stock of taem is fast disappearing
before the nets of the hunters thousands
are now imported from Canada for The
supply of the New York market Con
sequently the time has come for the
skilled culture Of them in connection
with other aquatic products, as brook
trout, carp, bass and other fish, ol
water crcss, which can be grown con
junctively and are very profitable y
Nsw York Times.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Tho snanish Passion for Dancing.

presume that those who have travelled
in Spain hardly realize how thoroughly
that country is given to the worship Of
st. Vitus. Saysa recent writer: "Thc
dance demon seizes on Spanirds at all
times and under all circumstances in
the streets. on the public squares. under
the porchcs Of stately mansions. A
peripatetic musician comes along strum-
ming his guitar, and in an instant the
maid servants throw aside their brooms
the work women sci down the pitchers
they are carrying to the fountain, the
muleteers leave their mules. the inn
keeper forgcts your dinner andaIl spring
forward, arms akimbo and eyes spark
ling. Their feet just touch the ground.
they balance in unison with the music
and dance with their souls as well as
with their bodies
LET a tourist visit Toledo and put MP
at the ancient hostelry Of De Limo. and
let guitar player station hims If under
the great sombre archway that Don
Quixote himself would not have passed
without foreboding Of evil, he will
see with his own eye, how the natural
order Of things will be disarranged and
everything thrown into confusion. 4
fandango will begin in the court, the
kitchen and the street, aud amid such a
hubbub that he will think he has taken
leave of his senses.
cone day at st Sebastian the regi-
ment passed by with band at its head.
A fandango was played.
Gwen the children who had been in
dustriously engaged in making dirt pies
pricked up their ears. caught each other
by the waist and tried to 90 through
he steps. Their nurses joined in snap
ping their fingers. The passers by came
to the assistance Of the nurses. The
soldiers themselves couldn't stand the
temptation, but fell out of the ranks
and mingled in the dance. -[Chi3ago
Tribune.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
The BuiIders Of the PYramias.

A personal inspection Of the pyramids
of Egypt, made by quarry owner, who
spe'~ some time recently on the Nile,
has led him to the conclusion that the
old Egyptians were better builders than
those of the present dey. He states
1T there are blocks of stone in the py-
ramid which weigh three or four times
IS much as the obelisk on the embanl-
met He saw stone whose estimated
weight was $50 tons. But then the
builders Of the pyramids counted hui
man labor lightly They had great
masses of subjects upon whom to draw,
and most Of their work was done by
sheer manual labor and force. There
ere stones ia the pyramids 50 feet in
length which fiji so closely together that
a penknifc may be run over the surface
without discovering the break between
them. They ire not laid with mortar,
either. There is no machinery so per
feet that it will make two surfaces 30
feet in length which will meet together
in unison as these stones in the pyramids
meet. 1t i. supposed that they were
rubbed backward and forward upon
each other until the ,urfaces As
imilated to each other
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Improving FER Mind.

"Improving your mind, | see, said
the nice young man yesterday as he found
his Sunday girl buried in a small vol
ume.
Yes she answered, putting hel
finger on the line and glancing sweetly
up; Il am devoted to reading. Isn't il
glorious to be an author and sway mil
lions Of hearts by beautiful language anc
thrilling descriptionln
"It must be; what are you reading
nowl"
"Stuttering Pete, the Demon Detec.
tive. ~ Nashville American.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Without Injury,

The other day reporter saw black,
smith examining an ak, from which he
had been asked to remove a portion of
the handle, which had been broken off
close to the iron. The wood could not
be driven out, and as nails had been
driven at the end it could not be bored
out. 'fWhat will you do2" asked the
reporter 'I'll burn it out, was the re-
ply. "But you'll injure the temper of
the Steel, suggested the reporter.
'Well, maybe not, said the smith He
drove the cutting edge into the moist
earth and built fire around the pro
jecting part The wood became charred
and was easily removed, while the tenn
pered part of the ak sustained no injury.
Il Philadelphia Call
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
NO. 2.
Lost-many sunless years

Lost-mauy sunless years
Upon the road of life;
Old, faded relics, stained with tears,
And Scared by fruitlcss strife.
Lost, never TO be found
Gone, gone forevermore;
Swept on the ebbing stream Of time,
TO an eternal shore.
They vanished one by one,
Each bearing ON its breast
A life not lived, a work undone,
a treasure not possessed,
Something for which it seems,
My soul has vaiuly sought,
The waking truth of happy dreams,
That time has never brought
Alasl the weary days,
Unwelcomc in the past.
Are with me yet; my skic. are dark,
And night is gathering fast.
strain my fearless ewes
TO pierce the thickcnng gloom,
And, mid the shadows, seem to rise
\ vision Of the tomb.
And is this all lis there
Beyond lifc'4 troubled wave
No healing balm for broken hearts,
No hope beyond the gravet
No haven Of repose,
No bright abode Of rest,
No land of promise for the soul
BY earthly cares opprcr~edt
Oh yes; poor, fainting heart,
BY stormy mllows tossed,
There is better world than this
Whose years are never lost.
Believe in Him who hade
The raging tempest cease,
And while eternal ages roll
Thou shalt abide in peace
lJoseph L. Butle
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
Saturn's Moon.Circles.

Further marvels Of Saturn's rings have
been noted by NJ. stuyvert, of the Roya
Observatory of Brussels, and other as.
tronomers. Dusky notches in the edge;
of the rings, with evidences of variabili-
ty, are indications which support the
view that the singular hoop-like appen,
dages of our sister planet are made ur
of small satellites so closely grouped
that the spaces separating them from
each other are not visible at the earth,
distance.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
The Lost Child.

please, sir, have you seen a gentle
man without a little girl2'
"Well, and what if have, little onep
'My Uncle John has lost me, and
thought if you'd seen a gentleman with
out little girl you gould tell me where
he was, y Harper's Young Folks.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09

AVE- have seen it mentioned as a
wonder by old puritan writer's, SAYS
Spurgeon, that certain fish live in the
salt sea and yet their fesh is not salt
We have met with far CT, ater singular =
ties in the spiritual world, name v,
men who live in sea of grace, and yct
are not gracious"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
YalnahIo in an Emergency.

jocks tlat valuable ring you've
got on, Gusl
Gus-rve hung it up for S75.
J.cA--You don say sol
G.s-Y.s. seve -ty-fve times. Dollar
each time. New York Sun.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
AYERS PILLS.

AIEn > lLLOa
large proportion of the diseases which
cause human suffering result from derange-
ment of the stomach, bowels, and liver
AYERS CATHARTIC PILLS act directly upon
these organs, and are especially designed to
cure the diseases caused by their derange-
ment, including Constipation, Indiges-
ton, Dyspepsia, Headache, Dysentery,
and a host of other ailments for all of
which they are safe, sure, prompt, and
pleasant remedy. The extensive use of these
PILLS by eminent physicians in regular prac-
tice, shows unmistakably the estimation in
which they are held by the medical profes-
sion.
These PILLS are compounded of vegetable
substances only, and are absolutely free from
calomel or any other injurious ingredient.
sufferer from Headache writes:
"AYER's PILLS are Invaluable to me. and
are my constant companion. | have been
q severe sufferer from Headache, and your
PILLS are the only thing | could look to
for relief. One dose will quickly move my
bowels and free my head from pain They
are the most effective and the easiest physic
have ever found. 1t is a pleasure to me to
speak in their praise, and | always do SO
Nutl Nttdolth titINs
w, L. PAGE, of w. l.. Page & Bro"
Franklin St, Richmond, Va, June g. 1882.
81 have used AYERS PILLS in number.
less instances as recommended by you and
have never known them TO fail to accomplish
the desired result We constantly keep them
on hand at our home, and prize them as a
pleasant, safe and reliable family medicine.
FOR DYSPEPSIA they are invaluable.
j. 4. HAYES"
Mexia, Texas, June Il, 1882.
The REV. FRANCIS B. HARLowE. writing
from Atidmtd, Ga, says: For some years
past | have been subject to constipation,
from which, in spite of the use of medi-
eines Of various kinds ! suffered increasing
inconvenience, until some months ago /
began taking AYERS Pills. They have
entirely corrected the costive habit, and
have vastly improved my general health"
AYERS CATHARTIC PILLS correct irregu-
larities Of the bowels, stimulate the appe-
tite and digestion, and by their prompt and
thorough action give tone and vigor to the
whole physical economy.
PREPARED BY
Dr.. .C.Ayer Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1887-09-09
A sunlerer from Headache writes

These PILLS are compounded of vegetable
substances only, and are absolutely free from
calomel or any other injurious Ingredient
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

the tiger and plunging the bayonet
into the animals body, at the same
instant fired. There was roar and
a scuffie, and B took advantage of the
moment to release his hand, and the
tiger after tumbling about for mo-
ment or two died. BIS hand was ter
ribly mangled, and he subsequently,
l believe, had to have it amputated T;
but the loss of hand was a compara-
lively cheap price to pay for saving
his life, which was mainly owing to
the wonderful GOODNESS of himself and
friend. From his narrative of the
event, it appears that as soon as A
had closed the window the tiger (who
must have been all the time lying
close to them) landed in the veranda
with mighty spring, and seized B
by the hand. He, with wonderful
GOODNESS, at once, on being seized,
made no effort to extricate the limb.
though the pain must have been ex-
cruciating, but quietly rising followed
the tigers movements, and actually
walked some distance by his side with
his hand in the brute's mouth, until A
by his prompt and determined action,
released him.-Shikar Stories by j.
Brown.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07
Lassoing a Swan.

Frank Copple is chief vaquero on
the Rancho Chico, and his old horse,
Buck, with almost human intelligence,
is known to all the boys on the rancho.
His picture is thus drawn in the Chico
(Cal.) Enterprise: Frank, assisted
by his horse, has lassoed every thing
from wild Western steer to a CHINA
mon bear, and the other day set the
top feather in his cap for the world to
compete for. General Bidwell has in
his deer park large pond in which a
graceful white swan proudly floats.
Some days ago the bird escaped and
all efforts to capture him, proved futile.
Shooting him through the wings was
finally suggested, when Copple hap
pened along, and being told what was
the matter, he volunteered to capture
the bird without injury to it.
He was told to 60 ahead, and off he
started after his swanship, which.
when he saw Frank, rose in the air,
and sailed out to Sandy Gulch, Frank
following on his horse, but no way
could he find of catching the bird un-
til the coiled riata at his side suggest
ed an idea novel and startling. Why
not lasso the bird And Just that
quick was the sixty foot horse-hair
lariat unwound. What favored the
plan most, the bird only few from
thirty to forty feet from the ground; ;
but another difficulty presented itself
Frank could not throw his RATA
from sitting position. So, speaking
to old "Buck." he sprang to his feet
in the saddle and started at full gal
lop after the bird. which arose and
began flying.
Now he is under it. with the swan
forty feet in mid air. Once, twice,
three times the rope circles around his
head, and is thrown with quick, un-
caring aim upward and outward. 1t
cuts through the air and settles grace
fully over the wings of the swan. The
struggling bird was drawn to the
ground and taken to the park.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07
Reached the Limit.

A Detroit peddler of tinware took
out some egg-beaters on his last trip
and as the price was only Is cent'
each, and they worked on a new prin
ciple, he calculated on big sales. Hi
first experience will answer for al
others. He drove up to farm house
in the western part of Wayne county
and took beater in to exhibit. TIL,
people liked it exceedingly we'll, bu
the old farmer said:
"Young man, l want to see your
patent"
81 have none"
"Then your written authority tc
make sales"
Don't need any,"
"Then you must give me bond
with two sureties, in the sum Of 81 ,00C
that you will stand between me and
trouble"
"But | can't do that"
"Then / can't buy. I've just had
to pay royalty on drive we'll, dam.
ages for using an infringement on q
patent gate, and have a lawsuit abou,
a hayfork, and another over wind
mill, and we don't even buy dishpan
without bond that it don't infringe
on 'omebody's patent bathtub.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The youth of to-day who is think
ing upon some profession that will
most rapidly come to fame and for.
tune, must be greatly perplexed a,
whether to decide in favor Of becom-
ing a prize-6ghter; base ball pitcher,
or a champion rover. And there is
danger that while thus besitating he
may be persuaded to throw away bis
talents on the law, medicine, or liter
ature, and become a mere nobody
Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The attention of Mr.. Arthur Com
stock is respectfully called to the fact
that the trees on the common are all
bare. Boston Globe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

Mr.. Luther +. Brooks, of Boston
found a petri6ed ish 5000 feet above
the sea. 1t is supposed the fish was
petrified with astonishment to find it.
sci 90 near the sky.-Ex
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

Pawkins-So Skinner & Grinder
have gone UNDER? Jawkins-So I've
heard. Pawkins-What caused their
fall' Jawkins-They lost their bal
ance-in the bank.-Lowell Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

"a fraud that didn't work." is the
heading of newspaper article. They
don't generally.-Tid-Bits. Certain
ly not. They go upon the Labor tick
ct as the workingman's friend.-Fall
River Advance.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

Never disturb contemplatiye man.
1t is not safe to get near train of
thought when it is in motion.-Low-
ell Citizen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The older man gets the more diff
cult it is to pull the wool over his eyes.
He has good deal less wool you
know.-Yonker's Statesman.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

When the woman wishes to make
soft soap she never gets mad because
the neighbors gives her the lye.-
Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

Three million women work for
money in this country. The other
millions make the men work for it.
Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

When the stove is clogged up with
clinkers is it any wonder that the
troubled housewife exclaims, "Grates
caught r-Chicago Sun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

A messenger boys diary-"Monday
hired; Tuesday, tired Wednesday,
fred" Newark Sunday Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The waves of old ocean are by no
means ready to sleep when they put
their white caps on.-New Orleans
Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

THAT puts a different face on it !"
as the small boy said when his ball
struck the clock dial.-Texas Siftings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

1t is suggested as shrewd guess
that. the first mention of playing
cards is in the Bible. 1t was when
Neb uchered Nezzar.-Boston Trans
cript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The man who moves down life's
path and finds it strewn with sweet
surprises is he who knows just how it's
done, who keeps store and advertises.
Lincoln Democrat.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07
Ar. Bay City.
Lv. Bay City.

sDaily. tDaily except Saturday All other
trains daily except Sunday. Parlor cars day
trains Sleeping cars on night trains.
Once in Leavins Bros book store, No. 100 Gen.
tsr avenue, and At depot, foot Of Washington
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent
o. ". RUaGLEs, WA. VAUGHAN,
P.&T.A Div. Supt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-12-07

The following testimonial from a
lady has been left at this Office for
sale by dealer in patent medicines
Dear Doctor will say that while
suffering from severe backache /
took my purse in my hand and went
out to purchase one of your plasters.
/ met street thief on the corner, and
/ was relieved at once. You can use
this for what 1t is worth. h."--Burlington
Free Press.