Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-30
BRIGHT BITS.

| II WISH had your conscience for pair OF
| suspepders," was the witty remark with
| which Alderman WHITE ti0ored an opponent
| whom he desired to accuse OF too much elas-
| tcity in the region of his moral mentor, in
! yesterdays Council proceedings. -BugHo
! G u,ier.
! ToNPK1Ns-How are you? Oh, say. will
pay you that Dill The next time meet you!
| JOhnsOn-fou have been saving that Tor
! months. little change would suit me bet
| ter
Tompkins-Oh. well, IN try not to meet you
any more.-LiCe.
THIS genuine Irish bull was uttered by an
applicant for work to whom Supt. Coolidge,
Of the South Boston road, was explaining the
situation: lyon needn't be afraid OF my leav-
ing. Mr.. Coolidge" he interrupted. pm
work for you as long as live If | don't get
shot dead beforehand, "-S prmdfsid RePU6it-
eiH.
"IF Mr.. Garrett has really sold his stock in
the Baltimore and Ohio railroad, the transac-
ton is a most singular metamorphosis." OBJ
served the Snake Editor.
"How can sale be metamorphosis~
asked the Horse Editor.
at converts Garrett into a seller
Pt,S6U q thronjcte.
MRS. DE BoGGs-Have you heard how Mrs.
De Peyster-she that was Sallie Van Colt
has received the degree Of A. NJ. from Wei
esleyY
Mrs. Wayback-No; haven't heard. What
does A. NJ mean?
Mrs. De Boggs-Whv. it stands for alma
mater, of course. Didn't you know she had
TWO conference.-the.
Ibid YOU admire Milan Cathedral?" asked
JARVIS Field OF the young lady from Chicago
who had just returned from foreign shore.
so much" she replied, with her mind more
on the refreshment room than the querlst.
"Who was it that said architecture as frozen
puddIngF' And the Harvard man shuddered
as II the Ice cream had struck the nerves OF
his nose.-BoSt0n C0D,'HerctaL Buttettn.
THIS mind reading of which hear,
1t puzzles me so completely"
She looked up at her ba~hful beau,
And said, as she smiled sweetly,
"Why, | can read your mind with ease"
''I on can, indeed! Then 10 500
Your wish that would marry you
But you're afraid to say so"
-HarDer's Bdsar.
JUDGE--In your drunken fury you drew
your pistol and dangerously wounded an I'M
offending man.
Cow boy-Yes. Jedge, that's about the size
of It.
Judge-whisky has got you into serious
trouble, If had not been for whisky you
would not now be under arrest.
wboy-Thats where you are a little of,
ledge. II had been sober, I'd have killed
him deader than doornaiI, instead of only
cripplin' him up little .-TteiS Siftings.
The Israeites have a day of reconciliation.
on which it is customary Tor those who have
hard feelings to shake hands over the bloody
chasm. Nose Schaumburg and Ike Schwin-
demeyer are rival merchant princes on Aus
tin avenue. and nave said some pretty hard
things about each other. They hate each
other cordially, each one being very much in
each others way. On the day of reconcilla-
ton they happened to meet. ITO day wash
dot reronc iatiOn day." SAID Nose. holding
out his hand.
Isaac look the offered hand and said: :
Moses, wishes you all dose dings vat you
wishes me-"
"YOu wishes me dose dings vat / wishes you.
So you wants to start dot fuss again Ell? w
don't you shoost come out and say dot YOU
wishes me pad luck ?"-Tepls Siftln9s.