The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1887-04-21

+ W.lTH of charity fad or
,,i./, other, but the fact that every
v one of the seven reported for
duty in toilet composed with 'rupulous
care suggests that they also wished to
meet the gentleman for himself as we'll as
for their good cause. Well, they pre-
sented Themselves. at his residence, which
was in one Of those bachelor semi-hotels
that have lately multiplied in New York.
We first entered the public reception
room.
"Why can't we go right up and sur
prise him ?" the leader asked.
The servant gazed at us for an instant.
Then, seeming to decide that our num-
Der made the thing proper, he let us go
up in the elevator. We raped at his
door and were admitted. Probably the
young clergyman thought we were SER
want. He lay on his bed, though it was
ten o'clock in the forenoon, with his
trousers and all that sort of thing on,
but without coat and altogether too care
less.y arranged to receive ladies.
pray excuse me a moment" he said,
and drew the heavy curtain between the
entry and main room.
Scarcely minute elapsed, and the
drapery was withdrawn. Lo! transfor-
mationl His sweet reverence was in a
lovely house jacket, coming forward to
greet us. But the principal wonder was
that no bed was visible. In its stead was
fine writing-desk, open, with writing
materials and the unfinished manuscript
of a sermon on it.
Now, that is only fair sample of tile
presto-change trickery in modern furri-
ture. Residents of inland towns have no
idea Of the extent of that kind of thing
in our room fittings.
Furniture falsehoods have reached
complicated and artistic stage of devel-
opment. Most of the rooms of boarding
houses and flats now present collection
of lies, handsomely done in antique oak,
cherry, walnut or imitation mahogany,
that would have amazed our straightfor-
ward ancestors great deal more than
the apple dumpling did the king. There
are not many articles of necessary furni-
ture that haven't been fixed up to look
like something that 1t isn't. The idea
seems to be to make it possible for you
to fit up your room as II you were living
according to the maxim of-whoever 1t
was said it-"Give me the luxuries of life
and / will do without the necessities"
About the only thing I haven't found
harboring something else inside of 1t is a
parlor sofa with cooking range for stuff
fing. But I expect to see that ON the
market very soon, for furniture man to
whom l made the suggestion seemed to
think It q stroke of genius. Things with
beds inside of them are the most inge-
niOusly constructed shams of the whole
1nt Tho nlnrvy ,f ho al hod Ia
and gone. In its time IT. was considered
a work of art, an inspiration of genius, a
combination of beauty, use and fitness,
such as seven-by-nine rooms had never
seen before, and for which people with
two-by-three pocket-books were deeply
grateful, to enable them to make 4 parlor
out of q hall bedroom.
Nowadays you buy almost any article
you can find in a furniture store, pay
from 425 to $3.50 for it, take it home and
open 1t and find bed inside. Writing
desks all finished, even to the dummy
key-hole and handles Of the dummy
drawers, tables in antique oak and ma
hogany, dressing leases with carved panels
and French mirrors, and gilt and ebony
gimcracks, chiffoniers, with all manner
Of wood rinktums stuck on all over them !;
In fact, you can ask for bed inside OF
almost any article Of furniture that you
ever saw or heard OF. and If the dealer
hasn't it in stock, lie will order it made for
you, and the first thing you know 1t will he
lining half the sidewalks in the city.
These furniture genuiuses appear to
have had special attraction toward liter
ary-looking shams Particularly 1t won't
do to ask permission to use your friends
writing-desk for moment unless you
know just what is which. There Is one
kind Of desk, simple and solid-looking,
with plain, morocco-finished, sloping
top, that you would never imagine to be
anything else. But lift up that innocent
looking top and you will discover a
marble wash-bowl and three-gallon res
ervoir, for water; and If you open the
find still more unexpected horrors. If
curiosity should lead you to investigate
that elegant-looking mahogany table, you
would find the top liftable, with hinges
and braces, lined with beveled French
mirror, and covering wash bowl, pitcher,
soapdish, toothbrush holder and-well,
and so forth.
How can anybody expect to run two
trains In contrary directions on one
track, so to speak, without an occasional
disasterp Certainly not. For instance,
have q proud but impoverished friend.
She is maiden, though forty, and you
know how 1t is with that species of girl.
She is precise and prim, and the slightest
impropriety shocks her nigh to death.
And she 10 afraid Of men-positively
frightened to be alone with one. To keep
up an appearance of affiuence, she lives
In q single room, and hangs portieres in
all the doorways, a. though they led into
other apartments belonging to her. But
for fact, that one small room 10 q par
lOr, reception-room, bedroom, bathroom
and boudoir. Every article of furniture
serves both an ostensible and . concealed
purpose. The whole outfit has one as
pect for the daytime and another for the
night.
Nj. Wrich, an eligible widower, called
on Miss Poore, and abe meant to impress
him delicately, yet entrancingly. She
had arranged the room to look its best
or thought she had-when he came. She
received him In timid cordislity, In faint
sweetness, and bowed him into the apart
ment. She took his hat and cane, and
gracefully motioned him to the most lux
urious chair, At least, she intended TO.
But, woe, woe, woel She had not trans
formed It from its utilitarian use, which
was that of Q sitz-bath. She was speech
less with horror, and he was too en-
crossed with courtesy to zee how the thing
stood. SO he sat down, went deep int0
the tub, and the water splashed up like .
RoyoeS. He tarTied not, but retreated
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