Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-09-30
OUR KALNInONNOPE.

the cardinal virtues.
Since young popinjay became engaged
his aflianced has grown domineering. The
young man says that, if this sort of thing
doesn't stop pretty soon, there is going to
be fight against ring rule.
There are several good reasons why the
approaching campaign should begin early.
One of them is that Senator Evarts has
consented to make a few speeches.
The chasm that often causes the widest
separations in society is sarcasm.
a Connecticut man made a bet that he
could kill, clean. cook and eat spring
chicken in Is minutes. He won the bet,
but it was an awful surprise to the
chicken.
After Dumpsey had worn pair of new
shoes for four days he went out to the ash
heap and resurrected his old ones. When
his wife asked him what he was going to
do he replied savagely, that he was
"going to get on peace footing again."
De Smith Mrs. Shocks is a beauty,
isn't she ?"
Popinjay: well, yes-rather."
De Smith: "What do You consider her
most striking feature ?"
Popiujay Her tongue ii hits terribly
hard"
Gentleman, who has wandered by mis-
take into saloon next door to printing
Office: "D0 you do colOrcd printing
here :"
Bartender, politely; "Only red, sir"
At Sunday school. Teacher; Johnny,
can You tell me what is the worst thing
about money ~
Johupy: "Aiut 'n2ugh OF ii, na'n."
Capt. Augur Of the ordinance depart
ment is such delightful fellow that no.
body ever thinks Of ca!!in; him great
bore. The ancient ausurs used to smile
when they met each Other. He smil, S
when he meets himself.
Miss De Smith with llc)nceA!e cur.os.-
ty) Where w@ca you vaccin'tel, Mil e
dear ~
Miss Mile (pron2.ly): "a. Chicago,
last May"
81 say, pard," exclaimed one ola topper to
another, isn't it abou. tima we began 10
follow the example OF the Knights Of La
Dor in dealing with The federated unions -
"What's that ~ asked his companion.
"Treat on even terms
She with womau's curiosity: what
makes that hammer fall that way -
He (sententiouslyl Its trip ham
mer"
Sophomore; Hello, Freshie -
Freshman Indignantly Guess amt
quite 50 fresh AS you fellers take me for.
I've had salt shot into my legs four times
for stealth melons,
Miss Travis: "How do you like Angus
tus Popnjay's new volume of verse ?''
De Smith ooh, so, SO; his feet axe
rather faulty-don't you think SO ?"
Miss Travis: "Oh, Mr.. DE Smith, how
can you! He has got the loveliest little
feet ever saw on man."
At the yacht race: Bystander, gloom
ily-"It's off"
Bystander number two, excitedy-
what the boat ~
First bystander: mo, the race"
There is man in San Barnardins, Cal.
who has never kissed his wife or
his eleven children. 1t is our humble
opinion that Il man who mas to hustle
around and support Il wife and eleven
..,.
lug 'he"i'
Probably there isn't an older phrase in
the English language than the words,
81 love you," and vet the most flippant
young man doesn't even think OF saying
| "chestuUt :" when some sweet girl Whis-
pers it softly into his coat coilar.-JOUf-
nat Of EducGtiON.
: There are too many "nUug lur!eS' and
/ not enough hung muldcrcrs III TINS couu-
3 Fa..f.
/ Ky J"1 U ~ ~ co. >''''''
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