The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1887-04-22
Effects of Marriage.

NY. Epoch. .-Few men pass through
the experience OF marriage without
some change, for better or worse, in
their outward condition at least. In
many cases the change is an improve
ment, source OF enjoyment to the
man himself and a subject for tiatter
ing comment on thepart OF his sfriends.
This is especially SO with regard to
slovenly fellows, who often look. after
they have come into the hands of a
neat and energetic wife, rs if they had
just gone through a Turkish bath, had
their cravats tied, and been fitted out
newly by a competent tailor. 1t is
with shock OF pleased surprise that
one meets o man OF this character |
soon after his marriage, finding him |
not merely clothed as OF yore, but |
dressed, brushed and trimmed as to
his hair, and well-shaved. In fact he
seems to have acquired a new set OF |
bones; his back is certainly stra'ghter,
the shape OF his head is saltered entire
ly and pair OF we!l-detined shoulders
have emerged from the mass OF cloth
under which they were formerly con
cealed. Nor is the change physical
only; the married man S morals has i'm.
proved. He looks out upon the world
with a face clearer and brighter than
1T wns in his bachelor days; and the
consciousness OF presenting good mp
pearance has raised him fifty per cent. |
in his own estimation, and therefore
twenty-five per cent. in the opinion OF
others. And all this is due to mar.
riage-an institution that sages and
cynics in every age have rldiculed! 1t
is true that the Improvement is not
always permanent, for affection may
wane, the wife may cease to interest
herself in her husbands appearance
and the husband to care for hls wiie's
opinion. When young man marries
an heiress the changes in his outward
condition are more subtle but none
the less interesting. Very soon-mi-
raculously soon, indeed--he becomes
q little stouter, and his walk is
slower, his feet beng planted more
solidly and more carefully than
they were when they carried bache-
lor. His clothes turn darker by one
shade at least, and his watch
chain is certainly n thought heavier.
The handle Of his umbrella, also, has
become perceptibly bigger. whereas his
scarf-pins are undoubtedly more quiet
in characteristics fantastic or trivial.
Observe him on his way TO church
wedding for example, and mark how
different is his mode OF progression
from that OF an unattached and mis-
.cellaneous youth. The rogue knows
that good seat will be reserved for
him near the head OF the aisle ana
that he has no occasion for hurry.
When he drives out it is in q substan-
tlal dog-cart or mail phaeton, and he
escheweth--not perhaps althgether
without regret-the side bar buggy
which he used to think the kind OF
vehicle that he would have if he were
rich. He is now substantial person
in the commNnity-a family man,
capitalist by proxy-and he begins to
have serious views on political and
financial matters, which he is desirous
of discussing with older men In fact,
he is rather given to stunning his con-
temporaries, and is not altogether easy
in the society CT his former compan-
ions. He has deserted their ranks,
and although he has gained in dignity
he has lost in freedom. His chains
are golden, to be sure, but they bind
with the force OF a less costly metal.
No longer for him are the delights OF a
midnight cigar or refreshing brandy
and soda at the club. He is now the
victim OF times and seasons, and must
60 discreetly homo when the proper
hour arrives.
Sometimes, again, the effect ofmar-
riage is to transform an exquisite into
a sloven, especially if the cares OF
poverty and of an increasing family
rest upon his shoulders; or it may be
that he is a sloven by nature, and re.
lapses into that condition when the
vanity OF youth ceases to act as a
spur. Husbands OF this kind COM
monty let their boards grow, never
black the heels OF their boots, and
have an irritating tendency to wear
rubbe1s IN fine weather. Their hats,
even if not actually shabby, are anti.
quated, and their trousers, besides be-
ing worn too short, invariably bad at
the knee. They wear long overcoats,
and carry either no umbrellas (relying
upon their old clothes for protectionj
or else umbrellas huge in size, cheapin
material and warranted to turn in
side out in q moderate breeze. These
men, if living out of town, are sure to
develope fondEess for poultry,
spending their Saturday afternoons
and Sunday mornings in pottering
about hencoops and watching the
strut of their favorlte cocks They
care nothing for society, not much for
the theater, and are apt to fall
asleep over anewspaperin the evening.
They usually prefer pipes to cigars,
and they are mighty drinkers of beer.
To such base uses may matrimony
bring its victims!
There is still another class OF men
upon whom the effects OF marriage are
slow, but sometimes con- iderable.
These are SLY fellows who have no
knowledge OF womankind, except as
they gradually acquire it from intma-
cy with their wives and from observa-
ton OF their wives female friends, who
are, OF course, much less guarded and
artificial with married men than with
bachelors. Upon these unsophisti-
Gated persons the effects of marriage
are very reassuring, and they soon
lind themselves at ease with young
and beautiful women. Sometimes, in
deed, they 60 so far as to carry on a
| Irritation, an achievement which
would once hive been impossible for
them, bnt t. eir efforts in this line are
always h. ,.lless and arouse no jeal-
ousy in wives OF sense.
HENRY WELSH.