The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1887-05-28
THE ANALYST,

nobody has ever paid attention to
warnings. But that Is not my affair
a London newspaper some years ago
gave up several columns of its valll-
BILE space to the question, "What shall
we do with our boys2" perused the
correspondence with a strong personal
interest, for 1 myself am the proprietor
of a boy-seyeral boys, in point Of fact;
but l refer more particularly to my
eldest, aged nineteen, as to whom
felt that it was time something was
settled. I have a great belief--partly
derived from the before mentioned cor
respondence, and partly from my own
observation-in studying boys natu-
raj bent, and finding him an occupa.
tiOn IN accordance with it. Such being
the case / began to study Augustus,
with view to finding out his special
>aptitude; but, unless really remark
able faculty for Outgrowing his trou.
sers may be so regarded, could not
for some time discover that he had any.
by dint, however, Of careful obserVa-
tion and cross Of the
household, elicited that he was ad-
dlcted to making extremely offensive
smells IN the back kitchen with chemi-
Gals, and that he had what IS called u
"cOllectiOn' Of beetles and other un-
pleasant insects stuck on pins iu box
IN his bedroom. 1t appeared, therefore,
that his proclivitles were scientific, and
l ultimately decided to make an ana
lyst Of him. Accordingly, after dis
posing Of sundry painful but presum-
ably necessary arrangements as to pre-
NUNS, Augustus was duly articled to
a Public Analyst. I use capital letters,
because / observed that Mr.. Scrutin
himself always did so. Why, cannot
say. Possibly public analyst-wlth-
out capitals, would not command the
same amount Of public confidence. On
consideration l don't suppose he
would.
Augustus first demand on taking up
MS new occupation was microscope.
And while you're about It," he sug-
gested, "it had better he a good one."
At hrst l was inclined to suspect that
this was an artful device for the further
indulgence Of his chronological vices,
and that. the lmplementWould be devoted
TO pOst-mortem examinations of de.
ceased caterplllars or other kindred
denominations. He assured me, how
ever, that such was not the case, and
that the microscope was nowadays "the
very sheet.anchor Of analytical sue
cess" Tbs ''sheet-anchor" completely
took the wind out of my sails. (I feel
that there is rather a confusion Of
metaphor here, but, not being nauti-
cal person J. don't feel competent to see
1T rightly. I surrendered. humbly re.
marking that supposed a five pound
note would cover it. The youthful
analyst laughed me to scorn. The
very least, he assured me, that good
working microscope could be got for
would be ten or twelve pounds. Ulti-
mately l agreed to purchase one at 10
>gulneas, and congratulated myself that
at any rate was done for. On the con-
>trary, it was only just begun. No
sooner had my analyst secured his
microscope than he began to insist
upon the purchase Of a number Of
auxiliary appliances, which, it appeared,
no respectable microscope would be
seen without, He broke them to me
by degrees. at first he only mentioned,
If remember Alright, an ''achromatlc
condenser at Q gulneas. Next came q
|'double nosepiece" (Why ''double"
don't know); then a polarizing appara-
tins and camera lucida (4G 10s); then
micrometer and a microtome (3
,gujneas more); then somebody's prism
ct 1e 5s, and somebody else's micro.
spectrOscope, at T don't know how
much. Here, however, I put my foot
down. l am compelled to regard the
'ordid consideration Of price, though
science doesn't.
The microscope and it's subsidiary
apparatus were duly delivered; but my
analyst appeared to be in no particular
hurry to convey them to the laboratory
where he waslstudying. On'my making a
remark to this effect, he replied:
Haven't taken them to the laboratory? Il?
No; and l am not going to. Mr..
Scrutin has got precious sight better
microscope than mine, cost go guineas
without the little extra articles, and
they we're about 30 more. He's got a
microspectroscope, If you likel' IVA
refrained from arguing the point
and mildly remarked that in that case
he might have used Mr.. ,Scrutin Is
microscope and saved me some 20
guineas. But he rejected the idea with
scorn, and explained that his micro
scope was not for laboratory use, but
Tor private study
/, E So far as my observation went my
analysts private study had hitherto
been confined to short plpc and the
last number OF some penny dreadful;
but did not think 1T wise to check his
( newborn ardor; contented myself by
observing that only hoped he would
stick to it, YqAefs ya.tfE,e iI
''No fear Of that,' he rejoined, as
indignantly as a limpet might have
done in answer to the same observa.
{.tiop. ''Why, microscopy is the most
fascinating study out. Just take q
;squlnt at that, now."
/ looked down tha tllha hit cnnldn, u