The Cecil Whig., 1887-07-16
Good Mallners.

| No one who has any app eciatlon of
| grace and beauty in nature or in art caE
fail to recognize the charm of fine man
ners in an Individual. We rejoice in
them as we do in lovely sunset view, or
a beautiful piece of architecture, or a
fascinating poem, for their own sake and
for what they express; but even beyond
this they have another attraction in the
magnetic power they exert upon all be-
holders in setting them at case, in sweep
ing away shyness, awkwardness aud re-
straint, and in stimulating them to the
expression of whatever is best worth
cherishing With them. 1t is undoubt
edly true that the presence of fine man
ners, whether it be in the home or the
social circle, in the workshop or the
counting room, in the visit of charity or
the halls of legislation, las an immediate
effect in reproducing itself, in ditfusing
happiness IN developing the faculties,
and in elicitng the best that is in every
body.
Many persons, recognizing this power
and feeling its charm, desire greatly to
possess it, and to this end they assume
naHHerism that is as far removed from
really fine manners as any other counter
felt is from the reality it initiates. Man
ners may be either revealer or n con-
ce8ler OF the true mental or moral condi-
tion of man. When adopted as a veil
to hide what is there, however ingenious
| the aItifice, the beauty and gracs of truly
fue manners cannot be reached. There
will always be an indcscTibable some
thing to dim their lustre aud cast sus-
piciou on their verify. The bland cour-
tesy which covers up dislike or inditfer-
ence cannot command absolute trust; the
gracious cOndescension which is often
adopted to hide mild contempt gener-
ally betrays it in the end. The finest
manners are those which cxPIesS, frankly
and uncousciously, The actual presence of
fine qualities, i'll their most delicate
| shades. All mere limitations of them,
where they do not exist; all artificial airs
and graces for the sake of appearances
are mere mannerisms, which soon become
transparent and disclose what they ale
Intended to hide
Fine manners are not however, &yno5o-
nous with Il fine character, nor do they
| always accompany it. Many excellent
persons do not possess them; that is, they
take no pains 10 express, by act or look,
or word the best that is in them. Some
times they make the great mistake of
despisng what the others worship, and
of scorniug to show, in their outward
life that which they cherish and yeyer-
ence within. Feeling kindly they will
yet act ruioly, and will perform gem
erous deed in way which robS 1t of all
its grace. Of course they are constantly
misunderstood, and uujustly complain of
it, but this is not the worst. They are
| shedding positive influence for evil.
simply by keepiRg their good qualities
! from the light of day. 1t is quite possi-
| BILE to cultivate good manners, without
the least pretence or deceit, by merely
| expressing in pleasant ways every pleas
ant thing that is felt and by cherishing
that imaginative sympathy Icy which we
| discern the feelings and need Of others.
| This much We owe to each other and to
| society. Only i'll this way can we add
our quota to the general happiness and
welfare of those around us. IIe who,
content with possessing worthy qualities
|
express them, fails III his duty To his
fellow men, and he who from false pride
or other motives purpoSely couceals the
good that is in him, will find the good
itself withering away under the process.
| If fine manners require the expression
of the good, they equally demand the
repression of the evil. Anger, heat, ex-
| aggcration, violence, ill-naturc, selfish
ness are all foes to good manners. Self
control and Seli-respect Will diminish
them by forbidding them to vent them
selves. Kept in subjection, they will
subside: allowed free expression, they
will become intolerable. The presence
of good manners is nowhere more needed
or more effective than Ill the household,
and perhaps nowhere more rare. Wher-
ever familiarity exists there is tendency
to lose the check upon selfish conduct,
| which the presence OF strangers luVOlun-
tarily produces. Many persons, who are
kind and courteous i'll company, are rude
and careless with those whom they love
best. Emerson says, Good manners are
made up of petty sacrifices" and GER
tainly nothing can more thoroughly Sc
cure the haI Imony and peace OF the family
circle than the habit of making small
sacrifices, one for another. Children
thus learn good manners i'll the best and
most natural way, and habits thus ac-
quired will never leave them. Courtesy
and kindliuess will never lose their power
or their charm, and while all spurious
limitations of them are to be deseised,
their real presence should be honored
and cherished by all