South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-09-09
BY CALVIN.

My wife and !, with our three Of
spring, took up our abode for tho sun
mer in pretty suburban cottage.
The arrangement with our landlo}
stipulated that he should not be calld
upon to make any alterations or repaid
Our means are limited within vel
narrow limits, SO like the two reasonat
souls that we are, we determined
economize in all reasonable ways, but OF
little-extravagance Cherry, my wife, insi
cd upon; that our dining room flo
should be polished, and she was to,
her own maid of all work and wished
few carpets as possible to care for.
Cherry is willing, ambitious, BRAY
hearted creature, but lackingin muscu
force. So when she proposed to shell
and polish the floor to save the exper
of hiring professional, I at once \
my manly foot down with masculine
phasis on the subject.
Like the generous, self-sacrificing SO
that 1 am known to be, declared
would bear upon my broad shoulders I
responsibility of polishing the 40
Cherry made a gentle demurrer,
finally yielded the point.
The next morning began operation
rising with the sun in the enthusia
born of inexperience. !. 1t proved
difficult to apply the staining, but VIII |
! began to polish inch by inch, with II
thermometer in raging fever of Of
hundred degrees, my heart was dI
dismayed, for the room measures sixteI
by sixteen, and to crawl over til
amount of territory on Blended -kpe,
was not pleasant 60 contemplate.
Filled with SD ret'ettions a. sse a
privations poveytS entails and viii Il
sweat of honest soii fisckliric IN iii
rivulets from my noble brow, sat dow
to rest, and, picking up paper, m
eyes CHANGED to see an article in the d,
nestle column, headed 'Hints for Am,
teurs in Polishing Floors" ImmediateI
my attention was fixed upon this artici
The writer assured her readers with h
assurance of experience that the work
polishing could be greatly facilitated
the operator would fasten to the butto
OF his or her feet pair of stiff scrubbi
brushes, and thus glide over the surfa
desired to be polished. After n ltd
practice the person would become oui
adept in the skating-like motion reouir(
and brilliant polish would result. wit
out firing the back or bruisinp
knees. The plan recommended itself
me on the grounds of originality a
Drliiiancy OF conception, and / detl
mined to test its feasibility.
Accordingly hied me forth in scar
OF brushes. had long and wea
march ere L found brushes equal TO Z
area of my pedal extremeties. for tbou
there may be differences of opinion no
the graceful formation of those mo
bers, no one can deny that thew J
built upon noble design with no sti
of material.
argued, too, that the pressure
one hundred and eighty pounds avo
dupois was greatly in my favor, so Wi
my brushes in place and with n lid
heart and eyes beaming with hone I
gan my experiment.
Contrary to expectations. / found m
'elf unsteady when stood on
so concluded To cling 10
wall Tor support till ] became acc,
,omed to my new mode Of locomotie
had been Mt work but a few minut
when my attention was diverted bv
giggling Of three little imps. rs N
ang out in their glec: "Ohl MANN
ONE quick, quick! See papa waikiki
IN brushes
Mamma came, and soon retreated
ny command Of: Cherry, keep tho
hiIdren out Of here. it is bad enou,
y make martyr Of myself withO
icing laughed at.
Bonnie, the eldest, hogan TO wbimne
What makes papa so CROSSE lie d
BOX funny, didn't ne, maJnmaY'
flush hush! come awayr' Cher
nswcrcd papa is tired"
should say papa was tired;y Ar
eginning to be cross, too, but. left
'yseIf, ! rallied my courage and we
D work again. determined to ventu
way from the wall, and had gained co
derable self-assurance when in bound,
'ir Newfoundland dog, with tail frs
v and eyes alight with humor 7 h,
ever seen IN them before. lie SCENE
j at once TO have developed keen a
recitation Of the ridiculous. as he on,
oied about; and knocking against nj
mt me sprawling on the floor.
aimed my footing and roared in nv de
ass Out Of here, Roverl Hear. sir
'Bov WOW" answered Rover, in