davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

what was not to be helped; I simply
made up my mind to the inevitable. 1
was never going to have Mark beside me
any more, and / must endure it, and get
through life as well as I could. / had
this farm on my hands, and all the peo-
pie who had their living from it, and
must do my duty. And perhaps in time
fate would be kinder, and give me fever
or cough, and let me lie down and die;
and he would come then and look on me,
and remember how had loved him, and
be sorry. And thinking how sorry he
would be was a joy 1 hugged to my
heart, and the only joy / had.
But used to long SO sometimes to see
Marks dear face again, to hear his voice,
just to lay my head on his shoulder and
cry my eyes out there. Sometimes it
used to seem to me that couldn't live
another minute if didn't run down that
lane and up through the wood to the old
house on the rock and find him, and beg
him to forgive me-forgive, oh, not just
that burst of temper, but the whole re-
bellion of my soul-and come back to
me; and sometimes 1 felt that / must
take some sleeping potion that would
keep me benumbed till the pain had
passed, or else must throw myself into
the river always running by, brimmed
and shining and Indifferent.
And l began to hate the river-the
river that l had used to love so in the
sunshine, all blue and silver; that / had
loved so, dimpling in its soft grays in
rainy weather; where I had never tired
of seeing the ice-boats dart along when
it lay white under its wintry mail-the
river that now, in my grief and trouble
and WEAKNESS, flowed past as calmly as
If had never seen it. How could it be
SO irresponsible, rolling on bright and
strong and steady, giving me back no
sympathy now IN my sorrOwful mood,
giving me even no vantage ground p
for / should have had to wade into if if
l had wanted to drown myself. Yes. I
began to hate the river. began to hate,
too, these long, tiresome, motionless
levels of the grass lands-oh. SO flat, so
monOtonous, so low! Gone is simply
under-g ground here" I said to myself.
Gone has really not the air to breathe.
One becomes like those slugs that live
under the damp side of a stone. / am
under stone myself Oh, for Just a
breath of air from some point little
way up the sky - [ began to hate,
1 say, the long, green grass fields;
and then / began to hate the
farm life. "It is dull, sordid,
base work, let them say what they
please" / said, from the pitching
about of the barr-yard muck to the last
results of it. 1t is all nonsense about
its being the one noble occupation. So
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
NOT INVESTED.
A FORTUNE AsSUI.ED.

First Omaha Mani am in luck at
last A friend of mine has sent me q
magnificent birds-eye view of London,
photographed from balloon.
Second Omaha Man-What use is
that?
"Why, I can have thousands of copies
struck off at small expense and sell them
for 800 apiece down in Kansas p
"Ohl come now. Who would pay
that for them in Kansas 2"
'"The real estate agents--to show what
their new towns Will look like when
they're bigger. omaha World.
BLUE, GRAY AND BLACK.
Charley Porter was police sergeant at
Fort Delaware, and for his sly ways i'll
catching up with the boys was called
"Old Fox" When the news of Lees
surrender reached the fort, great was
the rejoicing among the Federals. Old
Fox came in to tell the news and sell
the newspapers containing the account.
''Now," he said, ''poys," Fox was a
Dutchman), ''you viii all soon go home
an veil all pc frients. You'll pc goot
as we is. Ven pc goot as you is, an py
tam de niger will pc rs goOt as bote of
us. ."-AtLaRtd Constitution.
GUARDING AGAINST. FUTURE MISTAKES
Boston Young LADY, want to look
at pair of eyeglasses, sir, OF extra mag
nifying power.
Dealer-Yes, ma'am; something very
strong?
Boston Young Lady-Yes, sir. While
visiting in the country last summer [
made a painful blunder which l never
want to repeat.
Dealer-May I ask what that-er-
blunder was.
Boston Young Lady-Oh, yes. I
mistook humble bee for q blackberry.
". 7. Sesn.,
MEETING An EMERGENCY.
"Mv dear" said fond father to his
fashionable daughter, who is soon to be
married, eff George should at some fu-
ture time meet with reverses and his
fortune be swept away which occasionally
occurs to silver mine Spectators, could
you meet the emergency Could you,
for instance, go into the kitchen and
make loaf of bread?
"What a foolish papa," replied the
dear girl, brightly, "why, could send
to the bakers for it!'
A TRIFIE UNREASONABLE.
Patient Ito young doctor)-Why do
you charge me so much, doctor? l had
a sim~lar trouble last year, aud DR.. Pei
let cured me FOR half this amount.
Young Doctor-How long did it take
him to cure you2
Patient-Three days.
Young Doctor-Well, I've been work
ing on your case for nearly two weeks.
You can't expect to get two weeks work
for a three day price.
'NIy DEAR" said X street father to
his daughter, ''who is the gentleman
who has been so attentive to you of
late !"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

tions, with a generous share of the
'knickknacks" and goodies of the white
folks table.
"Quit dar, now. AK de blessin', Pop
per Joe, and then the venerable super
numerary would take his place at the
head of the table.
Good Lo'd meh us tanI1fu' fo' wot
we bout to receive, an bress de missis
an de massa an all yo' chillen, fo' Chis
sake, amen"
Then there were such a clatter of
knives and forks and such merry peals
OF laughter that one unacquainted with
the state of affairs could never have
dreamed that they were slaves. Supper
over, the darkies would assemble in the
front yard, and after a few songs and
dances they would disperse, and their
mellow voices could be heard for long
distance as they tramped homeward
through the woods.
Such was an oId-time corn shucking,
now grown almost obsolete in the South.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

which purpling mist was hung, sis the
Fallstown people trying to break up the
ice below them with dynamite. l guess
we are in for it.
81 don't know what we are going to
do" cried Mrs Sawyer. "Of course the
moment the ice breaks up and goes
sweeping down it will make for the first
outlet, and that is on these low grass
lands-running in here on the very first
low shore along the whole course of the
river. 1t is terrifying. If it were only
daylight 1 wouldn't mind it so much.
We could see our way. We could see
what was coming. We should know
where we were and what to do. But in
the dark You had better come over
to our house, Nan, and whatever we
do We will all do together. Mer-
ciful powers what was that z"
1t was only the wind coming up
that strong, sweet south wind. 1t had
broken bough from the old elm that
had fallen on the house, and at the same
moment the last explosion of the dyna-
mite sounded. But it was enough. Mrs.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

"And there's nothing but patch of a
garden there in your fathers old place, y
l went ON, without needing; ''and here
are these long rich grass lands. And
how III the world are we to manage a
farm two miles away from it, / should
like to know!
'I know" said Mark, easily. "Just
as you do two rods away"
''Et's impossible" said L. "You don't
understand anything about the oversight
and care that great farm needs if you
think that"
"Well, we could sell the farm, you
know"
''Sell the fa1ni" I cried, starting up
''My fathers, my grandfather's, my great
grandfather's-
"Your Noah's, your Adam s"
'How do you dare talk so to me, Mark
Myers, about my home" / cried, more
vexed and more.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
SOME OF THE POLITICAL SLANG.
Senator John Sherman Tells About
Looking After Fences and Lay
ing Pipes.

"Well, how did they treat you in the
South, Senator?"
"Splendidly; splendidly indeed, " and
there was tone of unusual enthusiasm
in his voice as he said it.
"You're going home to look after your
fences, of course 2"
The Senator laughed heartily.
that expression originated 2" "No 7"
"Then I'll tell you. While was Sec
retary of the TreasuryI came home to
Mansfield for few days at one time.
As soon as [ got there there was an in
fiux of newspaper correspondents from
all parts. Some of them announced
that L was getting ready to run for Gov
ernor; others that [ was working up a
boom for the Presidential nomination.
One of them came to me and boldly
asked me what was doing in Ohio. 1t
just happened that on that day l had
contracted with man to repair some
fences on my place that were i'll q
tumbled-down condition. So when that
newspaper man asked me what [ was
doing in Ohio, [ told him that I had
come home to look after my fences. He
published what I said; the expression
was taken up by the papers and went all
over. 1t has even been used on some
occasions in the British Parliament. It's
funny how these political expressions
originate. In some city just before
election the Democrats employed an i'm
mense number of laborers to lay water
pipes. That's what gave rise to the ex-
preston 1ayin' pipes You remember
that at one time the Democrats were
called Locofocos. During Democratic
meeting in New York the participants
grew so turbulent that it became neces-
sary to extinguish the lights. The par
ticipants, left in total darkness, pulled
out locofocos, as the old-fashioned
matches were called That's where
that name originated. "-Cineinnatj En-
Quirer.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
THE FRESHET.
BY HARRIET PRESCOTT sPoFFoRD.

We had been engaged, Mark and I,
since We were babies, so to say; that is,
when he was still in lnickerbockers, and
/ just out of bibs, we had decided that
when we grew up and had house of
our own, it was to be our own, his and
mine, and there We were to live together
and 1.-Two alone; and if the chief of our
diet there was to be applicants and but
ter-scotches, that was our own affair
1t is thousand pities that it was about
that house that all the rout happened.
For the fact is, had the strongest sort
of Will, and so had Mark; and when it
came to the point, it wasn't that house
at all that / wanted.
For, you see, the spot where I lived,
down on the great meadow farms, was
my sole idea of the beauty and pleasant
ness of the world. Across the river,
with its high bank crowned with feathery
and always trembling and shining
birches, the hills rose, far and faint and
purple vague, but here there were only
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

care you practicing self-denial. Mel
lie?"
ooh, yes, papa"
"What do you go without 2"
''You know those two big chairs in
the parlor 2"
eyes"
"Well, Leander and I have dispensed
with the use of one of them"
''You have, Ell? Well, We'll dispense
with Leander now"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

In small town out West an ex-
county Judge is cashier Of the bank.
"The check is all right, sir" he said
to stranger, ''but the evidence you
offer in identifying yourself as the per
son to whose order it is drawn, is scarce
ly sufficient
GIVE known you to hang a man on
less evidence, Judge" " was the strangers
response.
"Quite likely" replied the ex-Judge,
''but when it comes to letting go of cold
cash We have to be careful.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

"Oh, papa, he is such a nice gentle
man, and he gets $4,000 year !"
"Great Scott, child, he must be cab
met Minister"
''Oh, no, he isn't, papa; he is the
pitcher ina base ball nine. Washing
ton Post.
~ THE POWER.
AT the fnament our story opens he was
upon his knees before her in one of the
handsomest apartment houses up town.
Dearest, " he pleaded, in passionate
tones, ''whl you, oh, will you be my
wife 2"
"Oh, so gladly, George" was the
girls reply, for she loved him truly,
"but you will first have to get the CON
sent of the janitor ~. Y. Sun.
HE WOULD DO IT.
Nervous Patient Gn dentists chair)-
VIII it hurtmuch, DOCTOR Dentist (re-
assrlringly)--I'll guarantee it won't hurt
q bit. Nervous Patient (not convinced)
But whs5 if it should, doctor 2? Dent
ist tevidentiy sure of himself III 1
hurt you, my dear sir, / pull every tooth
in your head, and it won't cost you a
cent. "-Horper's Bazar.
HIS SCALP WAS ALL THERE.
Old Gentleman-Here, sir You are
a regular fraud. My hairs comm out
as bad as ever. This stuff isn't worth
continental
Barber-I didn't promise that it would
keep your hair from coming out. I said
it would preserve your scalp. Your
scalp's all there, isn't it?
RIGHT FROM HEADQUARTERS.
Wife Ito late husband Where have
you been, John?
Husband Conscious that prevarication
would be futile)-T' tell truth, m dear,
L (hic) stop'd in s'loon t. get CLASH beer.
Wife-John, you never accomplished
that load in a saloon. You've been to a
brewery.
MAKING READY.
Customer (who has inquired for beer
glasses, picking up piece of crockery)
What's this worth?
Dealer-Those are egg cups, not beer
glasses, sir.
Customer That's all right; I'm going
to open saloon at Coney Island.-Iid-
Bits.
GREAT DECEIyERS.
"Women are greatsh (hic) deceivers, +"
said Jones, leaning up against the bar.
"Thersh (hic) no trusting 'em. Thersh
my wife. She said Qhic) the other day
the nextsch time (hic) 1 got drunk she'd
go home to ma. Ish been drunk ever
since, and she (hic) hasn't gone yet"
BoBBY's LITTLE TONGUE.
''And don't you know why, Bobby 2"
said the minister, who was dining with
the family, ''your mamma doesn't want
you to eat a second piece of pie2"
eyes, sir, replied Bobby, "she said
that if you didn't take any there would
be enough left over for tomorrow.
GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
eyes" remarked Dumley, confdenti-
ally, to Featherly, "I'm having hard
(hic) fight with liquor, but 1 expect to
(hic) win."
'T think you will, Dumley," was
Featherly's encouraging response, 'if
you keep on taking the offensive"
IN BERMUDA.
Poetic Caller Cwho has come down on
last Steamer)-W nat Is tnat DaImy, spicy
odor that watts in at the easement, and
seems to send the new life spinning
through my sluggish Northern blood?
Practical Caller (who has been there
5hree weeks(-Onions.-IId-Bits.
BUSINESS.
"Dot Abram Levi he opens a store
next to mine. 1t wash mean in him."
''But didn't you say last summer, Mr..
Doppenheimer, that competition is the
life of trade ?"
eyes; but I wasn't in no beesness last
"-Ha1per'S Bazar.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

AND assuredly God would not have a
soul that clings to him scared at the
thought, of the last narrow passage to be
crossed in reaching him.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
Advertising Rates.
Iowa - 'S1N "AA@ ~ SAoA 49, a. AVA

Reading notices. 10 cents per line each insertion,
puI puI no charge made of less than SI.00. Probate
and commissioners notices Is insertions) s.. SO.
lperatlons Estrays &c, g insertons) ST. 80. Legal
Notlcss Is nsertions) 10 cents per line.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
FUNNY THINGS WE FIND IN THE
HUMOROUS PAPERS.

The Blue and The Gray-A Nervous
Man Gay DiyersiOns-The Uni
ty Business-An Investment
odds and Ends, &c.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

WuAT is il to be rcsi6ncd2 1t is 20
put God between one 6 ief and ones
Snlf
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
HE WOULD DO IT.

Nervous Patient Gin dentists chair)-
VIII it hurfmuch, doctor9 Dentist (re-
assuringly)-I'n guarantee it won't hurt
q bit. Nervous Patient (nOt convinced)
But wk.s5 if it should, doctor Dent
ist tevidentiy sure of himself III 1
hurt you, my dear sir, I pull every tooth
in your head, and it won't cost you
cent. ."-H0rpeT's Bazar.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
IN UNITY.

The town of Unity is q picturesque
tract of hill country in Western New
Hampshire. A good old clergyman,
living in an adjoining town, was one day
called upon by rural couple who
wished to be married. The proper cere-
mony was duly performed, and then the
minister gave them some fatherly exhor-
tation and advice about their course.
''Now that your lives are promised to
each other truly and unselfshly," said
he, 81 hope nothing will disturb them,
but that you will always live happily in
unity" "Wal, I don't know about
that parson," objected the young man,
doubtfully. "We're married, as you
say, and hope We'll git along all right;
but as for ivin' in Unity, [ never will
for it's the rocl1iest place L ever see in
all my born days. > Youths Companion.
WATER DID THE BUSINESS.
Wife with newspapeD to husband
Here is another forcible temperance lee
tr1re (Reads): "Young Spillers got in
to boat and showed out into the river,
and as he was intoxicated he upset the
boat, fell into the river and was drown
ed" Now, sir, addressing her hus-
IL LG IldCl uOG III il1Ih 1lS
would not have lost his life.
Husband-Let me see. He fell into
the river, didn't he?
Wife-Of course he did.
Husband-Didn't die until he fell
in?
Wife-James, you are positively silly.
OF course he didn't die until he was
drowned.
Husband-Then it was the water that
killed him. m.-ArkdnSdao Irugcller.
NOT INVESTED.
He had been courting her for six months
without coming to the point, when she
turned on him one evening with:
"Charles, isn't it awful for girl like
me to have to worry over how l shall in
vest $75,OOO?"
He thought it was, and three months
later they were married.
'I'll invest that $4,000 for you, my
DEAR" he observed a day or two after
marriage.
"Oh, I was afraid some one might
love me for my money, and l gave it to
papa" was the artless reply Val
Street Neacs.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
DOWN so In GEORGIA,
oLD-TIME CORN sHUCKING.
Scenes in Georgia in Slavery Days
Before the War of the Rebellion.
from the Atlanta Constitutional


Day after day for a whole week the
loaded wagons had been driven to the
lot, each depositing It's load on the semi
circular pile, that had grown higher and
higher, until Charley Green, the driver,
himself could not see over the top of it.
Then came the night of nights, the corn
shucking.
The hands on the plantations, far and
near, had assembled to join in the work
that was more than half frolic. Blow
ing merry tunes on their quills, stopping
every now and then for ''pat and
dance" in the sandy3 ysri. they came
singly, in pairs, ana II f.ssfosssts, -aainging
snatches of wild plantation melodies, or
"whooping" in that peculiar way of theirs
which was like the rich tones of bugle
sounding far away Rapidly the crowd
gathered; the dusky light of an October
evening had settled down into perfect
night, a night with never a feck of
cloud to obscure the light OF the faintest
star, and no coquettish moon to dim the
lustre of rival planets. Across the
fields hung shreds of silvery mist, and
far away beyond the gently undulating
surface of the cotton fields rose, gaunt
and grim, the dark line of swamp that
lay along the river. Ten thousand dew
drops sparkled on the grass so that the
face of the earth seemed but a dim re-
Election of the arch of the glowing heav
ems.
"Who gwine to be de leader?''
"Chally; let Chally be de leader"
cried chorus of voices; and Charley,
mounting the sloping semi-circle of corn
and seizing large ear for his baton,
would begin:
o, dey's one ting 'er pc man
Seldom evah do,
Frow out de ole con
To put in de new.
All 'roun' de con pile,
Hoe jolly ho!
All 'roun' de con pile,
Hoe jolly no.
This was the signal for beginning, and
the dusl1y forms seated themselves, knelt
in a convenient attitude, and the gleam-
ing ears few thick and fast through the
air:
0! big Joe, little Joe, you bettah go;
Jennie bake 'er hoecake slow, too slow.
All 'roun' de con pile,
Hoe jolly no!
All 'roun' de con pile,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

At the fnament our story opens he was
upon his knees before her in one of the
handsomest apartment houses up town.
''Dearest," " he pleaded, in passionate
tones, ''wil you, oh, will you be my
wife 2"
"Oh, 50. gladly, George" was the
girls reply, for she loved him truly,
"but you will first have to get the con-
sent of the. ianitor "-N. Y. Sun.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
TERMS S1.5O.

"Oh. papa, he is such nice gentle
man, and he gets SO, 200 year !"
"Great Scott, child, he must be cab
met minister"
''Oh, no, he isn't, papa; he is the
pitcher ina base ball nine. Washing
ton Post.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

Customer (who has inquired for beer
glasses, picking up piece of crockery)
WHAT'S this worth?
Dealer-Those are egg-cups, not beer
glasses, sir.
Customer-That's all right; I'm going
to open a saloon at Coney Island.-Tid-
Bits,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

"Dot Abram Levi he opens a store
next to mine. 1t wash mean in him"
"But didn't you say last summer, Mr..
Doppenheimer, that competition is the
life of trade?"
eyes; but wasn't in no beesness last
summer. ."-.Ha1per'S Bazdr,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19

Poetic Caller Cwho has come down on
last steamer)-Whati is that balmy, spicy
odor that watts in at the easement, and
seems to send the new life spinning
through my sluggish Northern blood?
Practical Caller (who has been there
three weeks)-Onions.- Bits.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
GREAT DECEIyERS.

"Women are greatsh hic) deceivers, !"
said Jones, leaning up against the bar.
"Thersh (hic) no trusting 'em. Thersh
my wife. She said (hic) the other day
the nextsch time (hic) L got drunk she'd
go home to ma. Ish been drunk ever
since, and she (hic) hasn't gone yet"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
Then came the refrain:

jay bird died wild the whoopin' cough,
Sparrer died wild de collie;
Long come er frog wild fiddle on is back
During de way to de frolic.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-05-19
HIS SCALP WAS ALL THERE.

Old Gentleman-Here, sir You are
a regular fraud. My hairs comm out
as bad as ever. This stuff isn't worth a
continental.
Barber-I didn't promise that it would
keep your hair from coming out. said
it would preserve your scalp. Your
scalp's all there, isn't it9