The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-05-25
BRlC-A-BRAC.
fsThc world rolls on" he said,

Stc rOllcu Oh IOIlCl oAAIS7'
Too thin-Shadow soup.
''Let me reflect, said the mirror.
Cut on the Gias-Thc guillotine.
Standard gocds-Silk and bunting.
Up in arms-Thc squalling infant at mid
night.
Highest approbation-Applause from the
gallery.
\ countcrsign-"This lot marked down
below cost.
Sword-fshery-Striving for promotion
in the army.
Can a butchers shop be called a joint
concern?
England wants peace-a piece Of all the
world.
The proper dessert for an undertake.
Berry pie.
The average longevity in Russia is only
&c years.
4 pro-, ising young man-One who gets
his clothing on credit.
It is the manufacturing chemist who al
ways has rctort ready.
In some parts of China the missionaries
travel in wheelbarrows.
Only the sublimity of cheek can rise to
the grandeur of luck.
If silence is golden, what bonanza a
deaf and dumb asylum must be.
1t is somewhat paradoxical that the man
who Goes the least talking in Congress IS
called the Speaker.
A young man can run through his prop
crty very quickly if it is only common
house-lot.
\ poor, thoughtless old gentleman sat
down, the other day, on the spur OF the
moment His screams were frightful.
Dry toast may be well enough for break
fast but dinner toasts should be buttcred
with fine words.
When q miner has been eaten by a griZ-
zly the Western people speak of him as be-
ing admitted TO the bar.
4 lady, joking about her nose, said, q
had nothing to do with shaping it. 1t was
Il birthday present.
Father-I never imagined your studies
would cost me so much money. Student
Yes. and don't study much either.
4 correspondent wants to know if bees
ever lose their temper. We can't say, but
we are positive their stings don't.
4 little boy said he would rather have
the earache than the toothachc, because he
wasn't compelled to have his ear pulled.
Steaming white wood and submitting it
to an end pressure renders 1t so tough, 1t is
said, as to require cold chisel to split 1t.
Heaven is very big place, else it would
be crowded by hanged men who have gone
there directly from the gallows.
The happy man who is blest with 9 nu-
merous wife and daughters knows what is
meant by the sweet buy and buy.
The sting of the bee is only one thirty
second of an inch long; it is said to be only
imagination that makes it seem as long as q
hcchandle.
A contemporary mentions case beyond
the ordinary oculist. 1t is that Of young
lady who, instead of pupil, has profes-
sor in her eye.
The fellow who thinks his girl a perfect
Jewel discovers some flaws in her after
marriage, even if it's only false-hair or cold
feet
1t seems no more than right that men
shonld seize Time by the forelock, for the
rude old fellow sooner or later pulls all
their hair out.
The man who was hugged by a grizzly
remarked. on being rescued, that he had
never had such a tremendous pressure
brought to bear upon him before.
1t has been discovered why man going
fishing always carries bottle with him. 1t
is in order that he may have the cork to
use as a float for his lines.
Loaded to the muzzle. "What is this
man charged with" asked the Mayor.
with whisky, yer Honor replied the
scntentious policeman.
Il hear" said Mrs Fishwhacker, "that
Mr. Willows son took the diploma at Yale
last year always said that Yale was an
unhealthy city
Why is the chain of evidence in favor of
the Evolution theory thought to be hardly
strong enough as yet? Probably because
Of the missing link.
In Burmah editors receive elephants In
payment for subscription In this country
the paper itself is about al the elephant the
editor cares to keep in stock.
A red-nosed gentleman asked a wit
whether he believed in spirits cay, sir,
replied he, looking him full in the face, 81
see too much evidence before me to doubt
that
You will seldom see sadder face than
the face of him who wears the anxious
look Of one who has loaned lead pencil
and is momentarily expecting that it will
not be returned.
One of the illiterate who had call to
preach" recently set his congregation on
the broad grin, at the close of hammer
and-tongs sermon, by requesting them to
sing the Sockdologer''
Don't look at your boy when he is
speaking writes q father. ''It embar
rasses him when he is explaining how he
happened to be in school and out playing
ball at the same time.
How is business tonight" was the ques
ton asked at the box office of q theatre |
We'll" was the reply, the house is half
full, the stage manager half full, and the
leading comedian is full to overtlowing."
4 plate has been discovered on which a !
PIE can be baked without burning while |
the mistress Of the house is finishing her |
novel and the cook is having few last |
words with the policeman.
The force Of habit is fully illustrated in |
the case Of :. retired milkman, who says he |
never sees a can of water without having |
an almost irresistible desire to put some