Smyrna times., 1887-01-19
Mr.. and Mrs. BOwser,
BY MRS. BoWsER.

"Shall we so to church tomorrow ?"
inquired of Mr.. Bowser the other
Saturday night as we were closing up
the house and getting ready for bed.
"Shall we?" he echoed as he stopped
pulling off one of his boots to look up.
"Mrs. Bowser, you seem to be drifting
into heathenism! OF course we'll go
to church. 1t is our duty to set the
world an example"
"But it is such job for you to get
ready, you knowP"
al don't know anything of the kind !
If can't get ready three times to your
once, and with one-tenth of the fuss,
I'll go off and kick myself to death |!
While I am not a so-called Christian,
Mrs. Bowser, propose to respect the
Lords day by going to church, and /
propose you'll do the same"
"Oh, 1 intended to 60"
"Oh, you did And perhaps you
were expecting me to stay home and
saw wood or play poker ~
We have breakf fast at o'clock Sun
day mornings. At half-past Z was
up, and called to Mr.. Bowser, who
lay on the broad of his back with his
hands locked under the back of his
neck.
!" he groaned
Five minutes later called him again.
"Y-e-s!"
MIR. Bowser, It's quarter to s."
"Can't you let feller sleep?"
but you are going to church"
At sharp / got him out of bed, but
it was half-past before we sat down to
breakfast, and o'clock before we got
up. Then he went off to dress, but it
wasn't five minutes before he shouted ::
Mrs. Bowser, where's my shirt?"
why, in your bureau drawer, of
course"
There isn't a single Internal shirt
there! I'll bet a hundred dollars the
laundry hasn't come up!"
went upstairs and pulled out the
drawer, and there lay six clean shirts.
why didn't you say in the top
drawer?" he growled, and 1 went
down stairs to hear him, three minutes
later. calling to me:
Mrs. BOwser, have 1 got a pair of
pantaloons in this house? ?"
"Of course you have. Your Sunday
pantaloons are in the closet"
mo. they amt! I've looked the
blasted house from top to bottom, and
they amt to be found !"
went up and showed them to him,
hanging right before his eyes. At the
same time, got him collar, laid out
his cuffs and necktie, and put his coat
and vest on a chair got ten minutes
rest before he beloved over the banis-
ter:
Mrs. BOwser, if I was a wife and
mother and hOusekeeper I'd pay some
attention to my husbands wardrobe ~
What's wanted now ?n
"This collar won't fit You've gone
and let that swindling laundryist steal
all my collars and send me up old rags
in the place of them ~
l went up and showed him his own
mark on every collar, and fitted one to
his neck in half minute 1 had got
down and finished combing my hair
when he suddenly uttered a war-whoop
and followed it up with:
Mrs. BoYser, I've busted the buckle
of my vest w
Well, you must pin the straps to-
gether"
." III be hanged if do! If you had
looked my clothes over yesterday, as a
faithful wife would have done, thi:
could not have happened !"
I ran up and sewed the buckle on
and had just got down again when he
called:
." Did you tell the cook to black my
boots ?"
Why, no."
"of course you didn't! That's just
the kind of a hair-pin you are How
on earth this house has run so long as
it has is a mystery to mel"
l carried his boots out to the cook
and promised her new collar to shine
them up. By that time Mr.. Bowsel
came down stairs.
" Mrs. BOwser, look at those cuffs 2
he exclaimed in a terrible voice as he
held them out to me-"
Whats the matter?''
" "Matter Why, I've broken bott
my thumbs trying to get the button.
into 'em; if you were like other wives
yOu'd"-
l slipped the buttons in before bt
could finish the sentence, and then rar
to dress me. In about three minutes
heard terrible grunting and roaring
in the sitting room, and Mr.. Bowsei
called
" By the living gum but why was
ever fool enough to marryY'' .
" What is it now?"
"llera lay Oh my plug hat-On my
Sunday hat-a whole load of hay"
" You were up in the barn loft tht
other day when you had it on, rrmem
Der. 1t will brush off"
"Ohl it will Well we'll see if i
does! I'll wear it just as it is, and le
everybody see what kind Of "a wife Nv,
got p
l made three minutes further prog
ress toward dressing, when he shouted
Mrs. BOwser, there goes the frs
church bell! Are you ready ?"
"No."
You amt! Then you'll stay home
don't propose to go into church afte