Morning journal and courier., 1887-10-31
AUTOMATIC.

Scrimmens says that the reason that fall comes so regularly at this time of the year is that it's action is autumn-matic.-Mer- chant Traveller.
 stWheelbarrow parties" are the latest so- cietv sensation in St. Louis. They ex- pected to sscarry everything before them. D. Norristown Herald.
 We have noticed that men who patronize the sideboard and side door are apt, like the Sunday beer garden, to have side gait Duluth Paragrapher.
 lamp has more sense than some Leople. If it is in room where there are two souls with but married thought 1t invariably goes out.-Yonkers Statesman.
 ''Now, how must do with this wedding cake to dream on it?' asked gushing dam sel of matter of-fact young man. s'Just eat it; that's all. l."-Washington Critic.
 It is Mir. Gould's intention, we are inform ed, to partake of chops and tomato sauce on the summit of the pyramids, which he will buy if he likes them.-New York Journal.
 Great disasters in China kill off the people of that country by the thousands at one swoop. How in the world will the next gen. eration get their washing done?-Boston Post.
 We don't care how high coal is this winter. We don't even care if it is Lehigh. But we hope it may be so high that the railroad com panies will not be able to heat the cars with it.-Puck.
 The South is willing enough to have the revenue tax taken off raw materials, provided whisky is put at the head of the list. That's about the rawest material in that section of the country
 "George, dear" she said responsibility, as she clung fondly around his neck, "why will you eat raw onions when you know you are coming to see me?' Merely to test your love. my precious" replied George.-Epoch.
 When a man comes out ip a crowd and says he will not run for office he reminds one very much of that other man who pinned a temperance pledge on his coat so that some- one would ask him to drink under the mis- taken impression that he would refuse Texas Siftings.
 A countryman meandering over the Brook Iyn bridge thus accosted a policeman; "Where's the sign?' "What sign? No signs allowed on this bridge" "Well, it's the fust bridge ever see where they didn't tax fel- Ter S5 fine fer ridin' or drivin' across 1t fastern walk. Epoch.
 As soon as we get over the rush we are Go- ing to invent big navy gun that will throw deadly car stoves into the enemy's vessels. Two grand results will be accomplished; the enemy will be annihilated in 8 particularly melancholy manner and we shall get rid of the car stoves.-Springfeld Union. .sI am so glad that you came in, MT. l Wabash, l" said Miss Breezy, brihtly, ''mam- ma and vera trying to recall certain poets | name. Perhaps you can kindly come to our l assistance His first name is Walter. J ''scotta" suggested Mr. Wabash. ''No, not Scott; i5 begins with w" "Whitman. possibly, Walter Whitmsn4" 'tOh, yes, that | is it. Walter Whitman. Thanks, awfully.' Epoch.
 l James H. Beard, the artist, was once called | upon at convivial party to propound con- | undrum Said he, "What town in New York State is like the Holy Land?" The company was compelled to give it up, and Beard said the answer was "Canandaigua." After every body confessed that they couldn't see it, the waggish artist said they must pronounce l Canan Canaan and leave the daigua off, l Texas Siftings.