Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-06-15
TO MARE EOU SMTEE.

EVERY one admlreS bravery, but
many big, burly man Is afraid Of
the woman who trembles at sight of q,
mouse.-Philadelph Herald.
TENNYsoN's Jubilee ode is to be set
to music, but we believe the idea of
bringing it out as q comic opera has
been acknowledgements Herald.
Two men in Maine recently walked
twelve miles to see theatrical COM
pany. Men with such ability in walk
ing ought to belong to the company.
Boston Post.
it is astonishing how much ache 1t
can ho,d. No wonder the man wrote
g. book and called it 'Ten Acres
Enough. "-SomerviHe Journal.
WHEN we realize with what celebrity
s. goat can separate man from bis
surroundings it is difficult to under
stand why butt should be called g.
coniunctio0.-Yonker's Gazette.
BEFORE marriage the question a
girl asks her lover most often is, $40
YOU really love me?" After marriage
the query becomes: "Is my hat on
straight ?"-Bost0n Journal of Edu-
cation.
IRATE parent in the door, to his
clerk, who is caressing his daughter:
Young man, you are not hired for
that kind Of work" "That's SO.
I'm doing it for nothing. '-Texas
Siftings.
A LABORER in Vermont recently
bought lot of land which was subse,
Quently developed into q very rich
marble quarry. His was q hard lot,
but it had its compensations.-Nation-
al Weekly.
81 FEEL so miserable again this
morning." said q complaining wife.
EYES," replied her exasperated hus-
band, "you wouldn't be happy if you
weren't miserable all the time. "-Har-
peT's Bazaar.
ing to have g. life size statue Of himself
carved IN marble. Mrs. Shoddy-
Humph! that's nothing. My hus-
band has q bnst every Saturday
night.-Newman Independent.
ARE my feathers on all right, map"
Mother with opera glasses)-I will
see. O, yes, they are all right except
one, I put the step ladder away, SO
that | can't fix it, but it doesn't look
so bad, my dear.-Merchant Traveller.
The advantages of French educa-
ton: Miss Porque (of Chicago
"Ain't Mr.. Ribboncounter elegant ?"
Miss Bullion (of Chicago)-"And I
think that robe de mutt he's got on
looks awful swell" -Harvard Lam
pOOn.
"OH, mammal what is that dread
full noise on the piazza?" Nothing,
my child. Your father will persist in
trying to get into the hammock when
he wants TO smoke, and you know
how clumsy he s."-BurEngtOn Free
Press.
GENEVA will shortly have g new lock
UP which will be q palace compared
with the present novel; the only fear
is that old offenders who spent so
much time in the old trap will want to
stay in the new building the greater
portion Of their time.-Geneva COu-
rier.
Chow did he bear himself?" asked
q speakers friend who had been
detained from the lecture. "He
bore himself very poorly" was the re-
ply, "but that was nothing to the
way he bored the audience. '-Colum-
bus News.
SOFT HEARTED old lady when she'd
heard the story and assisted appli-
cant)-Dear me! All poor man, you
must indeed have gone through dread
full trials. Tramp b'lieve yer,
mum au' what's wus, mum, I was
al'aYs convicted!
VERY young man-"You wouldn't
think it, but I've Just paid $40, 900 in
cash for q house, all made by my own
pluck and perseverance" Young
lady-"Really What business are
you in p" Very young man-'1'm
son-in-law."-Life.
ONE of the men who let's boats on
the PaWtuxet says he has some new
ones that are bound to suit unmar-
ried couples, for there is only one seat
in the boat, and it will be q case of
two souls with but a single thwart.-
Providence Journal.
ssMAY [ ask what the middle S, in
YOUR name signifies, Miss Bullion ?"
'sCertainly, Mr.. DeCrashhe. 1t stands
for Shazzer." "6hazzar?" Eyes, I
was named after an eminent woman
mentioned in the scriptur
Shazzar. It'd Bits.
A NAN was digging g. well near Sioux
Falls the other day and found an old
Mexican dagger sixty feet be'ow the
surface. We have located this about
twenty feet deeper than last spring,
and people ought to be satisfied. We
strive te please.-Dakota Bel.
THE great trouble with American
journalism is that the men who know
just how newspaper ought to be run
are unfortunately in some other bust
nass-driving stage, digging post
holes, herding sheep, or acting as dep
uty sheriff.-Burnet (Tex.) Hero.
"YoU say you stumped Texas for
the Prohibition ticket; what peculiar
ity of your audiences struck you most
forcibiy Pr "Well," said che mission
ary, "the chunks Of clay and pieces of
brick struck me most forcibly, but the
eggs staid by me the longest. Bur.
dette.
AS an item of interest it might be
e%o%o5 49, n r,iIo Of sfrouOth that