Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-03-04
OUR KALEJDOsCOPE.

The Prince of Wales has engaged quar-
tiers for his stay in Ireland at $500 day,
but he couldn't afford to go to the Mon
treal carnival.
"They never throw anything away ia
New England" said r. b. Aldrich "they
always put it up in the attic" Guess Mr..
Aldrich has never had any experience
with banana skins.
A Burlington woman keeps strict &C
count of every time she spanks her chill
dren. She enters it in her diary in this
| form d; Given under my hand this til
day of -"
In China man never sees his wife I'M
! I'll he is welded to her for life This is why
the majority of Cinnamon have crooked
eyes and Il shrinking disposition.
a writer asks; "Why do all women
look so small nowadays :" It's the biz
bustles that makes them look 50.
There is Il man in burlington who
doesn't dare to 90 down to Boston for fear
he viii be lynched He stretched IA pair
of tight boots by filling them with raw
beans and water, securely closing the tops
and leaving the beans to swell
If the remarks employed by the man
who catches his axe in clothes line were
all recorded and indeXed it is computed
that they would ill "A volume twice as
large as Worcester's unabridged diction.
airy.
If anybody is pining for the rolling skat.
ing rink, he had better take trip to Mex
leo. The craze has just struck the
| greasers.
The Empress Of Japan is a Nassar grad
uate. She chews gum on all state occa
sions, and approves state papers with the
form, Just too sweet for anything"
krupp's son has been defeated for the
German reichstag The people don't
want to be represented by any son of a
gun.
Patti is said to be very jealous of the
New York stock exchange A seat at this
entertainment costs $4,000.
There are 1900 lawyers in Philadelphia
and over 5000 saloons The latter accounts
for the former.
Il intend to express my mind on this
ubject" remarked Blobson, decisively.
Don't do it, responded Dumpsey.
You can send 1t by mail for two cents"
/
necticut board of agriculture, says, "The
use of a mans head at a fair to throw
! balls at is low, brutalizing" He would
have it banished from agricultural fairs
| But did Mr.. Augur ever try to paralyZe a
coon All, then he would realize how a
woman feels when she pegs stones at
| hen.
The number of valentines sold this year
was 30 per cent less than last season
Since the daily newspapers began to pub
| lish illustrations the comic valentine has
become superiority.
First vegetarian; isn't this carrying
it little too far think you ?"
Second vegetarian "To what do you
refer ~
First vegetarian; This sign - Cash
paid for butchers hides"
Il tell you, this tobogganing is hard
work. remarked newspaper man.
why so ~ asked his companion. "Don't
you see :" was the reply. "a man has to
go to press every time he goes down the
slide"
"Do raw eggs clear the voice :" asks
correspondent. No; but they clear the
stage, which Is a good deal better.
A shoe nail was imbedded in the heart
of a COW that was recently killed in Shar-
on, Wis. Some farmers are very forcibe
kickers.-Nclo HdrcH NclCS.
That San Francisco bomb-thrower is
apparently a great stickler for the truth.
He endeavored to make PATHS tour a fare
well tour in spite of herself.-BoStOu
Transcript
A man begins to understand what a
winter carnival is like when his wife re
minds HIM that the coal bin is empty and
that she wants a new fur-lned toboggan
suit.-EUll Rircr -Adr0ncc.
The Burlington FREE PRESS says Eve
have noticed that it doesn't make much
difference where a mule is reared" AS "A
general thing, a mule Is quite capable of
rearing himself, but to the man behind
his heels 1t makes great deal of differ
ence where that rearing is done.-BOStOH
POST
Assistant editor St Louis daily)-"Here
is an item to the effect that a train of -
cars has just arrived loaded with peanuts,
Where will | put 2" Editor n-chef-
Under the head of Society Events. -
n. Y. sun.
1t won't be long now until the poor, OPP
pressed husband will have bliSters on his
hands from holding on TO IA fishing pole,
while his tYrannicdl wife Will Oe staying
at home having fun with a spade III the
garden Washington critic.
Il lived two years in Jamestown
writes a correspondent of the Burlington
FREE PRESS. "and the inhabitants told me
| that the name of Chautauqua lake was
| derived from Indian words meaning Bag
| Tied in the Middle. 'n He also heard, no
doubt, that it meant 1.-The Place of Fogs,'
or The Place Where the Squaw Dropped
/ Her Shoe and many other fanciful de
rlvations And if he had been there lately
| he WOul1 DrObablV have heard the region
called "The Place of Red Hot Politics." or
the Home of the Man VINO Voted for
Hiscock." Etymology changes as time
goes on.-BuGdlo Express