The Portland daily press., 1887-01-01

who was the wlsest man in the worldq" asked
the teacher.
'Soiomon" replied little girl.
Yes Solomon was the wsest man. But there
Is one wiser than solomon; there is One who
knows everything that has ever been, or is or
ever VIII be, who knows everything. Who is
And the tall, good boy at the head of the class
thought moment and said, THE London CORE
spondent of a New York paper"
"a friend in need is friend indeed" Such
friend is Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup, which should be
in every family. 1t costs only % cents Give it
trial.
One bottle of Salvation Oil can change frantic
victim of rheumatism into dove of gentleness.
The Italian peddler had retired for the night,
when there sounded heavy knock al the door.
Who there?" he demanded.
afternoon"
well, what you want?"
II have come to return sound chestnut to you
was lhe only good one in the lot, and, as I'm an
honest man, and you probably put II in by mistake
I've brought 1t back TO you"
Get the hest. DR.. Soule's Pills are the best for
all liver and bilious arrangement.
The Choir Contest-"You say you were in the
Certainly"
And yet you are only thirty years od?"
very well; now, sir, ] would like to know how
you make that appear"
why, you see, there were eleven others In the
More cases of sick headache, billiousness, con-
spation, &C., can be cured in less time, with less
medicine, and for less money, by using Carters
Little Liver Pills, than by any other means.
Pompous young lawyer ito prisoner)-As you
have no counsel the court has deDuted me to de-
fend you.
Prisoner-Am dat so?
Young lawyer-Yes.
Prisoner TO judge)-Den l pleads guilty, yo'
Honah, an trows myself on de mercy OBJ de court.
Backache is almost Immediately relieved by
wearing one of Carter's Smart Weed and Bella
donna Backache Plasters Try one and be free
from pain. Price 20 cents.
Bessie l hear your sister is sick. What ails
II don't know, ma'am. Maybe it's the dip
Iona"
"The what child?r
"The diploma. L heard mother say that she
took ii at school,"
The best selling proprietary article in this sec
tion / s Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Ladies all praise it and physicians recommend it,
The following is an extract from sehooboy's |
composition on Perseverance"
How have the great men OF our country been /
able to succeed In their noble enterprises? Did /
Daniel Webster write the dictionary in an hour or
day? No! it was the work OF months and /
years."
We are pleased to see the familiar face of /
''Yours for Health" in the papers again, long may |
it continue The ladies have learned to love it.
Theoretical Secialist-Yes, gentlemen, am |
Of IN arna dCtr nj
property"
Practical Socialist-So am /, partner. Let's |
commence by dividing your clothes. I'll take |
your coat an you can keep the pants and vest.
The best medical writers claim that the |
successful remedy for nasal catarrh must be non
irritating easy of application, and one that will
by its own action, reach all the remote sores and
liberated surfaces, The history Of the efforts to
treat catarrh during the past few dears obliges |
us to admit that only one remedy has completely |
met these conditions, and that is Elys Cream
Balm. This safe and pleasant remedy has mas
tered catarrh as nothing else has ever done, and
both physicians and patients freely concede this
fact. The more distressing symptoms quickly
yield toit
"Young men believe in nothing nowadays" says
Mrs. Ramsbotham, with a deep sigh why
there is my nephew, Tom. who was brought up
Christian, and now he's an acrostic."