The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-16
BRIGHT BITS.

THE proof-readers wife was the girl who first
ran a type righter.-Bostoa Commercial Bnlle-
tin
'WHY, Esther! What have you done with the
rest of it, anyway? ! gave you $50 bill, and
you have bought the bonnet for S27
My dear boy, how am l to know? You know
never can count change. "-Iotc1t Topics.
TEAcHER-Now we have had the Stone Age,
the Brown Age, and so on. Who can tell me
what the present age is? johnny Harris, you
are holding up your hand. You can tell me.
Johnny who reads the papers)-The age of
steal ma'm.-PittsbUrg Chronicle.
OMAHA DoCToR--Ah, little one, tell your
mother have come TO vaccnate the baby.
Refined Child-Tm afraid you can't see baby
now. Mamma is giving hun bath.
THAT won't matter. it won't take but min
ute"
YES, but he's entirely decolete Omaha
World.
ABOUT this time the country aunts and cous-
ms begin to receive affectionate and highly per-
fnmed letters from their city relatives who have
been too busy to write all winter. They want
to know if the farmer man has planted any of
those nice fresh eggs we had last summer"
and if the dear old COW he's begun to set on the
fresh butter.-Spri'latield Union.
LITTLE EDDIE, 8 years old, had an attack of
Group one night. The next evening, when he
told him he must thank God for making him
well. So he said, II thank thee, O God, for
making me well, but my nose goes this way
yet'-he9e he shifted several times to show that
he still had a cold in his head,-BdbytOOd.
On THE AvENUE-"Been to the Brunswick"
See coach awf?"
''Yaas'
Jolly pawty, hay?"
so, So But theah wasn't a helotwope scawf
among all the men. Pom honaw, thah wasn't. :"
Cad I'm glad didn't book faw the twp"
-Tolon Topics.
81 SEE, PA said young Hartford hopeful
shat a member of Parliament the other day
said the honorable gentleman is a liar And
very properly, too, was the patronizing reply
Now, how can an honorable gentleman be a
Harp
simplest thing in the world. Now, I'm an
honorable gentleman"
Hold on, pa. Your logic will trip you up if
you're not careful. "-HdrtfOrd Post
TEACHER-With whom did Archilles fight at
Be- Booy-with Pluto
Wrong"
with Nero"
: Wrong"
''Then It was Hector"
What made you think of Pluto and Nero?''
=, "Oh. l knew it was one of our dogs. Their
names are Pluto, Nero and Hector.-ETdnkfurter
Zeitun9.
when train is entering the Boston depot, call:
Boston: this train goes no further" This is a
thoughtful provision that prevents passengers
being carried by Boston That it is not uncalled
for is shown by an incident that happened the
other day when an elderly traveller asked of the
conductor, in apparent good faith: Does this
train stop at BOston?" The conductor said it
did when they had passengers for that station.
Boston Transcript
Il AM going to start magazine in the South
said shrewd Spectator.
do you think that it will pay?" some one
asked.
Pay: Why, it can't help but pay. You see,
win make it pay by selling OUT
But will any one buy you out?"
''Of course. AL have to do is to publish a
few war articles, then the proprietors of the
Eastern magazines will offer me fair price for
my establishment Oh, | tell you, there is
money in it.'-Arkansnlg Traveller.