The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-27
BRIGHT BITS.

THE real reSOn why negroes live to such an
| extreme old age is that they don't know exact
| ly when they were born.-Sh0e and Leather Re
porter
Young STUDENT PHYSICIAN TO charity patient)
IL think you must have a-a-some kind of
"a fever; but-our class has only gone as far
| as commissions. I'll come in again in a week.
HdrperS BazGr,
LITTLE drops of margins,
Little deals in wheat,
Turn the man of money
Into dead-beat.
Chicago Nail.
INSANITY
Old Mother Peter
She went to the meter
To see how much gas. she had burned.
She danced cotillion
When she read seven million.
And her mind was forever oerturned
Cincinnati Telegram.
'IDoN'T CARE what others say, but viii never.
never forgive the rebels. My heart is as bitter
as ever against them. When drew the sword
/ drewit forever"
Then you were in the army?'
Yes, sir and I'm proud of it''
What battles were YOU in?''
oh, wasn't in any engagements. Our regi-
ment you know, only went as far as New Bed
ford. Boston Transcript.
HOTEL CLERK-Wel, how do you like New
York?
Western Guest-Too slow
Hotel Clerk-Too slow! Merciful heavens,
what did you expect to see here?
Western Guest-A lynching every ten minutes
tell you, stranger, I'm disappointed. You just
want to come West if you want to see ciyiiiza-
ton at its height.-Tid-B Bits.
THEY were arguing as to the restraining effect
on others of capital punishment. Brown thought
that the hanging of one murderer deferred
thousands from taking life.
Nonsensen' was Fogg's rejoinder; ''capital
punishment has no weight whatever with the
man intent on crime. Look at Ananias and his
helpmeet. They were struck dead for lying
haven't heard that their terrible punishment has
caused the habit of mendacity to lapse into
desuetude."
Brown says it is use less to argue with man
like Fogg who always wanderS from the sub
ject.-Boston Transcript.
OMAHA MAN-You are very strong partisan, !
understand.
Stranger-I ought to be- had nice fat
office until Democratic President was elected
and then was kicked out.
so heard and they say you then took an
oath that you would not get shaved or have your
hair cut until the Republicans were in power
now, I see."
~ Yes, but there wasn't any swearing about it.
That's nonsense -
Then why don't you go to the barber'sS''
Cant afford it."-Omdha World.
FIRST OMAHA MAN-This practical jokin' NAV
be all right but there amt no punishment bad
| enough for a man who goes to jokin' in church.
Second Omaha Mani should say not Do
| you know of a case of that Kind?
Yes, and we've called session of the elders
to kick the Teller out of the congregation. Last
Sunday he sneaked up the stepadder and
turned the clock back during an experience
| meeting"
"Oh well, that didn't do much harm, did itY''
Harm! Great st. john It kept us singin'
and prayin and confeSsin' our sins for five hours
before the inhu tan rascal got caught. ''-Omaha
World,
"Hor DAY." said stout gentleman to a
stranger on crowded Main street car yester-
| day
"Hey?" said the other
Hot day." said the first something louder
Excuse me, I'm somewhat deaf and hardly
caught your meaning. What did you say?'
81 say it's a hot day" howled the fat man,
glaring at his neighbor and getting red In the
face and ears, as everybody in the car looked up
from their papers.
'Ah, yes, yes, how much must you pay?
Five cents; that's the fare on this line s.
Whereupon the corpulent individual said some
bad words under his breath and got off the car.
Yes" said the deaf man gently, that's the
tenth man within an hour that's told me it was
hot day, P'rhaps they imagine l don't know
it, and he smiled sweetly and famed himself
with his hat.-BtifGio Courier.