Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-12-22


the West that my daughter Sally is about to
marry will be there. And that great bird I
want you to kill, clean and dress in your
very best STYLE
'Fll do it, Deacon"
snow, mind! I'm trusting you as no man
else would. I understand that some of
those goddess fellows of the village are go
ing to have turkcyrafle at the tavern to-
night. One of the wretches had the impu-
dence to come here this morning and offer
me five dollars for that turkey, just as he is.
j told him wouldn't take his weight in gold
for him, for that purpose So you look
sharp; they're none too good to shoot him.
Now, Job, 60 ahead. Get boiling water and
knives, and any thing else you need, from
the kitchen. The Ratchet is behind the
door. Work fast, and be just as faithful
and careful as though the turkey was your
own"
The brief December day was declining.
1t was almost sunset when Job Harkins,
with his preparations all complete, and his
materials about him, bound the legs Of the
victim, placed his neck over q log, and with
one swinging blow Of a sharp axe, decapi-
tated him.
"Bravo, Job!-done like an old cavalry
man! Was that the way you fellows used
your sabers!"
Job looked at the man who had just eau
tiously climbed the rear fence of the dea-
cons premises. He had, in fact, been hid
den behind it for the last fifteen minutes,
overhearing the whole conversation.
Don't you bother me, Sandy Badger.
want to do this job quick and well Go way,
and lemme alone"
"You needn't be so tetchy. Job. Iguess a
fellow might watch you. Seem you handle
the Ratchet SO cleverly put me in mind of
the great cavalry fight I've heard you tell
of. Which was it!"
Any provOcation to talk about his service
In the war was sure to draw Job out, as his
cunning tempter well knew.
"Don't know. Might haYe been Brandy
Station; might have been Yellow Tavern.
Both big fights"
"Was you in both of 'em, Job!"
Eyes, indeed; and in dozen other small
or ones"
(which licked in those twoa"
I'VE did at the Tavern; t other one they
called a kind Of draw"
So the talk went on until the turkey was
cleaned and dressed. Holding it up by the
leg, Harkins said:
"Now, ain that a beauty More N twenty
pounds dressed. 1 really believe"
'Splendld" said Sandy. $50 now you're
done. Job, tell US who commanded there at
Brandy"
General Pleasanton, Of course"
Fighting Gineral!'
'You bet" said the veteran, with enthu
siasm.
3" Job-let's drink his health"
Mr. Badger produced o square flask. Job
hesitated
81 don't want to-"
Whats the odds. Your work is all
done You amt going back ON your old
commander, be your
The argument was irresistible. Job
drank.
He was a lost man from that moment
His tongue was loosed; he talked and
drank, and drank again. The crafty rascal
piled him with the fiery stuff. merely max
ing pretense of drinking himself He pro-
posed the health of General Sheridan. and
Job enthusiastically drank it. He dranL tn
the Army of the Potomac; to his Colonel. tn
his Captain; to the old fighting IS. Mas
sachusetts Cavalry. Near dark the Deacon
came out in the yard, and ga.ed with con-
sternation at the sight Job Harkins was
leaning against the fence in q maudlin con-
dition; the hot water was Overturned
Ratchet and knives were scattered on the
ground.
"Where is the turisey!" demanded the
irate proprietor.
"Fact is, Deacon" said Job, with drunken
dignity" when (hic) got him dressed. he
(hic) few away"
The Deacon drove Job from the ward.
ii. FINDING IT.
Deacon Cleghorn was greatly aneered bv
this untoward incident. He knew enough
ABOUT the bad set, who. falling to buy the
coveted turkey, had stolen it. to be sure
that they would hide it beyond reach Of q
search warrant Christmas was rapidly ap-
preaching. and his main preparations were
yet to be made. To his dismay he discoy-
cred that he could purchase no KIND of .
surkey. Never was Christmas 90 extern
sively prepared for in that vicinity as in
cn2s centennial year. There was nothing
IKE FOWL to spare, even to Deacon CleRhorn.
ne went home and reported the case to
full domestic council.
% whatsAaH we DOR said Mrs. Cleehorn.
wringing her hands.
And to think that Captain Bradstreet
Ml % here to morroww pretty Sally