Audubon County Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Audubon Co., Iowa) 1885-1894, 1887-08-25

fyou are bound to sass" mule do II to
his face Then he can't kick you back.
Sign In Chicago drug store "Grand clear
ing out sale Of seidlietz powders"
It's great iun to see young woman play
the plano and fight 4 es Mt the same time.
Nothing can be more boundess than a true
woman's loye--except, perhaps, that same
woman's appetite.
People who want to know whetherit Is pro.
nounced "neether" or .nyther" viii find II
they investigate, thatlt is neither.
Bishop Granbury, of the M. z. church,
south, attended the camp-meetlng held this
year. at Marvin camp grounds from the 18th
Of July to the 9Th of August.
Tie next time convicted ''boodler' says
he wants to take bath the sheriff will prob
ably deem 1t safest ~ turn the hose on him in
his cell.
At recent service in Trinity church, Pitts
burg, a baby just big enough to stand alone
stood on seat and crowed, and laughed, and
chattered, and clapped her hands, and no one
objected, for no one was disturbed. The con-
gregaton was deaf mutcs, and the services
were conducted In this sign language.
number of new societies are springlng up,
and all In some way aim at the regeneration
of the human race One OF the latest Is called
"Thc Christian Kingdom Society,"" and Its
ayowed object Is to unite its members In an
'endeavor In all things to render faithful and
loyal obedience TO the spirit of Christ. 3"
Alta meeting of tlie Episcopal parishes in
st. Louis DIR. Van de Water organized mis-
sion to be held in that city next advent. Faith
or Osborne Will conduct a MONDAY meeting
for business men. DR.. Rainsford will also
take part and Dr.. Van lie Water will preach
daily, In addition to organizing the services in
every Episcopal church In New York city.
Miss Agnata Ramsay, daughter Of Sir
James Ramsay, the Scotch barOnet, took first
honOrs In the classical course at Girton col
lege, Cambridge, England. She was the only
division, and was loudly checred by her com
petitors when her rank was announced. Her
age Is twenty years.
The Concord philosophers are engaged in
their annual attempt to grasp the idea Of in
finity. If they have not forgotten their alge-
bl they ought to know that lniinity Is moth
ing but figure lying on its side. That is as
near they or anybody else will ever come to
grasplng the Idea, and they might as well &c.
cept the situation.
A youngster in a neighbOring town, who
had gone out on pleasure trip by his fathers
consent, suddenly broke out crying, and when
asked what the matter was said: Mamma
will whip me-" An effort was made to soothe
him by explaining that as long as his father
knew he had come, his mother would not
sceld him for coming without saying anything
to her about it. This hardly satisfied the lit
tie fellow, who whimpered in reply, Papa
isn't the bossl'
There Is a young preacher in Boston who
waltZes with such charming grace that the
young ladies of his church are crazy about
him and declare that they can see no harm In
his shaking the light fantastic, and it is due
to the determined stand they have taken in
his behalf that has prevented the elders from
bouncing him out of the church. preacher,
however, who dances and is so popular with
the girls, is liable to startle the flock some day
by clipping with one of the young sisters.
Boston turns out some very lively preachers.
According to London Truth, the solemn
service was progressing In Winchester Cathe-
dral and the dean sat enthrOncd, when a
telegram was handed to him. He opened it,
and cast his eyes up to heaven in dire per-
pleXity. 1t ran thus: ''OrmOnde has wOn."
Who was Ormondc, and what had lie won?
Yainly canons and such Ike minor lights were
consulted. If they knew, they pretended not
to. 1t was subsequently discovered that the
telegram had been sent to Mr.. Dean, trainer
at Winchester, but as it was addressed Ocean,
Winchester" II was banded to the dean. The
telegraph clerks We're probably under the i'm
preston that this dignitary had put trihe on
the race and had desired that the result
should be at once forwarded to him.