davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02
One Dollar

Hoods Sarsaparilla cures scrofula, salt
rheum, all humors, boils, pimples, general de-
bility, dyspepsia, biliousness, sick headache.
catarrh, rheumatism, kidney and liver COM
plants, and all affections caused by impure
blood or low condition of the system. Try it.
II was severely afflicted with scrofula, and
for over year had two running sores on my
neck. 1 took five bottles of Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla, and consider myself entirely cured"
C. E. LOvEJoY, Lowell, Mass.
"Hood'S Sarsaparilla did me an immense
amount of good. My whole system has been
built up and strengthened, my digestion i'm
proved, and my head relieved of the bad feel
ing. 1 consider it the best medicine have
ever used, and should not know how to do
without it." MARY L. PERLE, Salem, Mass.
Hoods SarsapariIIa
Sold By all druggists. 81; six for SIS. Made
only by C. L. HOOD & CO., Lowell, Mass
100 Doses One Dollar.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02
100 Doses

One Dollar. Hoods Sarsaparilla is the only
medicine Of which this can be truly said
and it is an unanswerable argument as to
the strength and positive economy of this
great medicine. Hoods Sarsaparilla is made
of roots, herbs, barks, etc., long and favorably
known for their power in purifying the blood +;
and in combination, proportion, and process,
Hoods SarSaparilla is peculiar TO itself.
For economy and comfort we use Hoods
Sarsaparilla." Mrs. C. BREWSTER, Buffalo.
"Hood's Sarsaparilla takes less time and
quantity to show its effect than any other
preparation ever heard of. would not be
without it in the house" Mrs. C.. A. NJ.
HUBBARD, North Chill, n. Y. 100 Doses
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02

nTREPLES. Blackhsads, Skin Blemishes,
HlIu and Baby Hum0rs, use CUTIcURA
SOAP.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02

Total debt, less available cash
items. ................-.... 81, 800, 2s2, JOG
Net cash in Treasury s--....-... 40, BIOS
Debt less cash III Treasury, July
lst, 1857. -. -. 1,279, 42S. 7$7
Debt less cash in Treasury,
June lst, 1857 -. 80 I, 296, Isl, l62
Decrease of debt during the
month. -. ....,......... 1885,, 725
Decrease of debt since June
both, 1856 ......,,......,... 1O9,70z6l6
Cash in Treasury available for =
reducti n OF public debt. $50, 4S9 $40
Reserve fund. ........... .. 10g, 100000
Unavailable for the reduction
OF the public debt 10l ga 075
Total cash in the Treasury, as
eraI account ...-...-. 9 4s2. 1913 817
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02

SHIL0H'S COUGH and Consump-
ton Cure is SOD byl on a guarantee
1t cures Consumptic-. Sold by 4. 9
Smith & Co., druggists. 6
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-02
The Pubic Debt.

WASHINGTON, July Following is
the recapitulation of the public debt
statement issued to-day:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
GROUND DOWN.
The Iron Heel of Capital Expresses tn
Poor Laborer.

The Iron Heel of Capital Expresses the
Poor Laborer.
An old negro who had been engaged TO do
work on a farm went to the proprietor the
day after he was employed and said:
s'Boss, skuze me, sab, but der's err few pints
dat furgot to ak yer yist'day. All ober dis
heah country, sab, Use said ter be de bes'
ham on er farm, an wants ter hab er little
understandin' wild yer. Oars some things
sab, dat yer mustn't spect me ter do"
''What are they2"
''Well, sab, yer mustn't speck me ter pull
fodder"
s'All right
"Nur set out cabbage plants
tsWell, as you are regarded as the most
trustworthy man in the neighborhood will
relieve you from such duties
"Thank yer, sab, but wait er mint. Nur
turn der grindstone."
''Nur draw water fur de steers"
eco ahead"
,sYes, sab, thankee. Nur git up befo' day.
nur chop stove wood, nur help kill hogs,
nur pillow, nur hoe cotton, nur--"
Hold on
sWall sah.n
"What do you propose to do?"
ssW'y, work ON de farm, sab, but musn /
clean out de well, nur feed de stock, nur cut
wheat nur-
"Hold on. don't want you.'
"Why so, sahY'
because you don't want to work.
''Dar yer go, jes like all de res o. de white
folks Say dat niger doan wanter work
Jest bercose he doan wanter kill hisse'f
Long ez he jis gifts right down an humps
hisse'f ter death da doan say er word, but
soon ez he says dat he amt willin' ter die,
wy den da comes roun' maxim er big mouf
er about it,
s.Well," said the proprietor, after mo-
ment's reflection, ''as / need man to see
that the other hands do their work well, you
may go ahead"
sfBleeged ter yer, sab, deed is. I'll make
yer de bes oberseer yer cher seed, case Use
allus got de intrust O. de prietor at heart.
Hole on, boss; jes er nuder word, please,
sah.n
"Well, what is it?"
ssWhat sorter whiskey does yer drink ."
~ don't drink any,
"But what kind is yer goin' ter turn me
loose er mungW
s'None.o
"Ain't gwineter had er barr'l wild er tin
cup on 1t ?'
"0f course not"
''Den, sab, we kant trade White folks
'specks er Niger ter work his life er way
widout gittin' any 'freshments No use'n
talkin' sab; dar amt no finitness twixt u.s.
Arkansas Traveller.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
Language of Noses,

The Roman nose denotes propensity for
adventure.
A wide nose with open anostrils is mark
of great sensuality.
A cleft nose shows benevolence-it was the
nose of st. Vincent de Paul.
A straight nose denotes q just serious,
fine, judicious and energetic mind.
The curved, fieshy nose is a mark of dom
nation and cruelty. Catherine de Medic
and Elizabeth, of England, had noses of this
kind.
The curved thin nose Is a mark of bril-
liant mind, but vain, and disposed TO be iron
zeal. 1t is the nose of a dreamer, poet or q
critic.
1t IS desirable that the nose should be as
long as possible, this being sign Of merit,
power and genius. For instance Napoleon
and Caesar had long noses.
If the line of the nose be rc-entrant--that
is, If the nose is turned up--it denotes that
Its owner has a weak mind, sometimes
coarse, and generally playful, pleasant or
frolicsome.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

brethren of the ciyet tribe administer to
him dose of good opiate."
The fox bowed peacefully and sat upon
his launches.
In moment more Rolfe Stillson felt a
powerful odor enter his nostrils and seal
up all his other senses.
= y
eyer, yer. Wake up. Well miss the
train if you don't git that scow out"
Rolfe sprang to his feet. The sun was
shining high up the breast of the Poto-
mac, making the whole river look like a
goblet of champagne.
"Well, we'll exclaimed Rolfe, looking
around, eff that fox hadn't fiabbergasted
them other warmints with his Latin /
reckon I'd ben in bad way"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25


in still pools, or backward eddies, or
until there seemed skeleton bridge
connecting the stone piers.
"Cayalrymen artillerists Prepare to
mount M-m-m--ount p
To the top of every pole assembled a
squirrel.
"set picketsl Deploy your skirmish
liner
Back into the far, soft night was heard
the scrambling of deer, weasels, ferrets,
foxes, skunks and muskrats, to guard all
the entrance places and prevent surprise
tNow, come on with your bridgep'
In the air overhead, Rolfe Stillson
heard the short, wearied cries of wild
geese, cranes, ducks and other aquatic
birds, slowly, painfully carrying some
thing which hid the starlight and the
clouds.
When it had passed away, and the
night appeared again in her trailing dress
and diamond ornaments, behold floor
or mattress of substantial construction
stretched from pier to pier and from
shore to shore anchored STAYED, and Sc
cured, and scarcely had the buzz of sat
isfaction and relief ceased to echo when
btiOtC Woo titoitt uRVi1 tttio biiat5C VI tio-
sues and herbs the measured movement
of coming host.
Fall back Form in open order I
Present arms p exclaimed the raccoon,
taking his commands from the veteran
wolf
As Virginia's contribution fell back
respectfully and came to present, the
approaching procession was announced
by great number Of Juvenile and motley
elements coming before it, consisting Of
frogs, field mice, ground squirrels, lizards,
ETC., some initiating soldiery, some hop
ping, some skipping, some waltzing.
Next came the drum major, a great
buck deer, whose horns beat time as
he preceded the band of linnets, mock
ers, cat-birds, and every species of
feathered or footed musician, amongst
whom was the shrill piping whip-poor-
will.
The general which led the Northern
hosts was venerable moose, who dis
tributed his weight as much as possible
on the structure by straddling, and Rolfe
could hear the poles sway and creak
beneath his form and see the engineer
animals rum far out with their guy ropes
and hold them taut around stumps and
rocks
He was followed by grand army Of
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

every wild animal inhabitant of the
settled States which had representa-
tive left-the whole moving with vete-
ran gravity, yet according TO the inGivid-
ual spirits of their several races and ma
tons.
The squirrels somersaulted, and rab-
bits charged like horsemen up the col
umn, the rats leaped and squealed, the
yellow foxes flashed up and down be-
meath the moon like smoldering fires
or golden corn.
When all had crossed, the army of re-
ception filed in behind and escorted their
guests to the hill slopes, where both sec
tions arranged themselves as in an am
phitheatre, tier on tier, rising back from
the river, with the great officers and vet
Grams in the eye of all, making Of the
bridge pier a platform, which slightly
rose toward the rear.
Alta signal from the old wolf the mighty
audience arose and chanted in the
tongues of all animals Te Deana, com
mencing:
Here all beneath their Maker stand,
Except the Human Pirate band,
And claim creations old decree
That every species kept shall be!
At the command we did embark,
And drifted in the Pirates ark
Not one, when saved, went on u spree,
But Noah's vile posterityl
0 take these Robbers to the skies,
And let this earth be paradisel
CHATS leetle the most extravagint
doxology ever l did hyar," observed
Rolfe Stillson, very much impressed, how
ever.
The wolf now advanced and howled in
his powerful notes to the audience:
II take pleasure in presenting to his
fellow-species an old companion, Patri-
arch Moose. We should not have had the
pleasure, but he escaped from travelling
menagerie at Frederick city, in order to
be with us tonight.
Brethren, we hoped and desired that
our mild and reliable old friend, Grand
father Buffalo, would have had at least
one representative here. As the moose
ran free upon the earth before its rocks
were formed or the miserable after
thought of Man had been considered at.
all, so the martyred buffaloes filed all this
valley with their herds and stamped the
great roads to the West which the pirates
engineers now follow so submissively
OF what reckoning there will be when
man hears the computation of slaughtered
bisons his bloody frivolity has destroyed
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
a squadron of

IOxeS, IN perfect fireman drill,
all holding to larger cable connecting
with the smaller one Next appeared a
sort of mattress, or light woven plat
form, which glided over the ground
precisely like wagon, though no
wheels were visible and it was manned
at the sides and rear by vast legion of
different animals, among which Rolfe
distinguished squirrels, rabbits, badgers,
raccoons, mice, minks, weasels, polecats
and wildcats-as mighty host as that
which had invaded Maryland near this
point some seasons before.
Upon the moving fabric, or low vehicle.
stood with difficulty an aged wolf issuing
commands to the pioneer column, in low,
hoarse accents as to their course and
speed; and where the herds had partly
run over Rolfe Stillson, and had hidden
him with the machine they brought
along, he saw the rotary power beneath
it to consist of hundreds of opossums
moles, groundhogs and hedge hogs, all
rolled into balls and acting as spherical
wheels to aid the motion.
Last of all, Roife saw with apprehen-
sion not equal to his wonder small rear
guard of almost toothless and exhausted
carniyorous beasts. long extinct or very
rare in this region--the puma or panther,
the lynx, the black bear A little herd of
mountain deer attended these and took
their places at the water-side.
sMusicp' exclaimed the raccoon.
At once there arose drumming sound
on every side, made by corps of pleas
ants striking their wings on fallen trees,
to the fling of multitude of night
hawks in the air above, and the bass
viols of great flocks of crows.
1t ceased, and similar sounds of animal
music came across from the Maryland
shore
The fowls now called again, obedient
to command.
From the region of the river responses
were made:
"To witp' ssT'o who-o-o-or'
Forward, sappers p exclaimed the rae
coon, as a column of moles, marmoths
and gophers deployed to the front and
began TO dig holes at the higher edge of
the abutment.
Forward, pontooniers carpenters !
engineersW ordered the raccoon again.
There advanced to the river brink. with
wooden poles all cut and fashioned, lit
- tie squad
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

"The pioneer lights are now ready,
General said the flying squirrel zone
engineer corpsis ready with the North
section of the Flying Bridger'
Nfis well, Lieutenant answered the
raccoon. 81 will send my orderly back for
the Virginia section"
The flying squirrel pulled his tail over
his forehead and bowed, and went leap
ing out into the air, from pier to pier, as
before, while the raccoon was heard to
say:
"Trumpeter, sound p
AT this an owl, unperceived before, in
fiated his breast, where he sat on a stone,
and cried to all the hills
ITO wit p
'sTo who-o-o-op came back from the
woods of Virginia.
There was now the sound of something
Like stampede in the rayine, and there
% soon galloped to the abut-
4, ment as many as regiment
N 'sSs, of rats, all holding in
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

He thinks to exterminate the species
which preceded him upon this continent
The time will be when he would surren-
der even his cowardice to have us back !;
for his destiny is to be starvation"
''Did We ever hyur anything like it ~
unused Rolfe. "That's almost as blood
thirsty a Teller as Bonyparty or McCause-
land"
"Countrymen, patriots, aboriginals of
the soil,o continued the wolf, "many of
us are here at great peril and fatigue;
may never again reach my refuge in the
Allegheny submits. But on the eve of
the annual Information of many of our
species, the mournful privilege of as
sembling at the first frost must be main
tanned. Let me announce to you, breth-
rem, that man is on the eve of collapse p
The magnificent audience arose like
some monster political convention and
cheered again and again.
The turbulence continued till the par
oxysm had spent itself, some animals
shouting, some hugging, some somer-
saulting, some leaping In the air like
rockets with India rubber sticks. Bushy
tails were held up; hurrahs were given
in the regular university way; and,
finally, amidst tremendous applause, the
grand marshals of all the species moved
toward each other with the standards
and guidons of their tribes and varieties,
and formed fine bouquet of form, car
rage and purpose at the top of the Vir-
ginia slope.
'Yes," howled the wolf, when he
could get an instant to be heard. "Man
is failure Look at this bridge ! Look
at the equally impotent and ineffective
ruin of bridge few miles below He
is losing the secret and the genius of in
tercourse Here, days march from his
capital, he communicates from shore to
shore by scows, and has made laws so
bad that nobody can open bridge where
somebody else has run a ferry scow."
Repeated oicds and expressions of con-
tempt for man. 1--WE, brethren, were the
first bridge builders; the spider caught
from the dew the lesson of the suspen-
sion thread. For more than 100 years
man has been trying to navigate the air
like the birds and he is further off from
the simple proposition than ever. BY the
aid of the birds we produce you to day a
mattress to clothe these neglected piers
We shall recover our country Men can
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

Bagley--Come, come; here it's nearly
eight O clock and the curtain rises at $40.
Mrs. Bagley-Now, don't get excited, Will
liam, We win be ready in one minute.
Nothing of the sort. Amelia hasn't got
one-third Of her clothes ON yetp'
''She has on all she's going to put on.
That's the style, William.'f
well, it isn't my style. Good gracious,
Susan, people will think we haven't any
more shame than New Workers. 81 Ailadsl-
psia Call
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
why They Go out between tho Acts.

Eastern Young Lady--Your Chicago
gentlemen must be very much addicted to
drink.
Chicago Young Lady-Why do you
think sol?
II noticed that more than one half ofthem
went out of the theatre the other evening be-
tween the acts"
And you thought they went out to
drink ~
''Of COURSE
Mercy, mol They went out to avoid the
orchestra, - Chicago Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
At the Panornlna.

Little GIRLS that you, papa, on the brick
colored horse that is up on its hind legs?
Parent--Yes, my child, that is usually
pointed out as me.
And did you cut that other mans head
off and ride right straight over into the
ort?
Eyes, my dear, presume did"
But mamma didn't say anything about It
when asked her what you did in the war"
why, what did she say ~ docking around
at the spectators proudly
"Oh, she said that all you did that any
body ever heard Of was to fool around and
get kicked by an army mule, and that now
you haven't sense enough to get pension"
Dakota Belt
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

has the confidence of the students. to a
high degree. He is thirty-eight years
old, married, and has one son.
The Hemenway Gymnasium, which is
the centre of the athletic interest at Har-
ward, is, without doubt, the most per-
feet Of its kind in any educa-
tional institution in the country. It's
the result of gift Of $4,000 from Mr..
Augustus Hemenway, of Boston, grad
uate OF the Harvard class of 1876. It's
full cost, including apparatus, was $780,
600, and it was completed in 1879. It
occupies commanding location at the
west of Memorial Hall, and is separated
by broad street from the college yard.
1t is built of brick, with sandstone trim
mings, and is of colonial style OF archi-
lecture. The main hall is a stately room,
lib by 80 feet, rising to the heavily tim
Ebered roof, and lighted by handsome
windows at each end The inside walls
are finished in red and yellow brick, and
the woodwork is in hard pine. Al gal
lery around the main hall contains
the running track, five feet wide. An
iron framework arranged with sliding
eye-bolts and beams, so that the swing
ing apparatus can be suspended from
any point, is securely bolted to the roof
s;., on the second-noor Is the
,,I,sd yl lopm, seventy Dy ninety feet,
llied with sixteen hydraulic rowing
, ,nacliines' mere the candidates for the
Ealsiey crew take their daily practice
uuling ene WINTER months, ana the class
crews 20 thelr utmost TO develop equally
pulssan n, muscles. In the opposite cor
n u Is tne trophy-room, hung thick with
nags ana remnants, and bordered with
.ne Iecorus OF victories IN the boat and
, on the l,elu; Inc room contains nota-
oie eollecuon Oh atnletlc photographs
anu a group OF paoly used-np balls, the
~ 1sopi,ies OF many hara-Iought game.
me directors room, spacious and richly
i ~ anu Two rooms Tor examina-
lions, occupy tne remaining space on
tnls noor. BESIDES the main hall, hlled
Win a tne latest ana best apparatus, the
nrs :, contains dressing-rooms, bath
aeu soI ,,, the once ana an >arn9-
or: Inc oasementcontains the cage
!or pasepaii practice, lacrosse and lawn
tennis, besides the ienclng-room, spar
ring-room, eight bowling alleys and the
stofe-rooms. Ihere are more than
thousand lockers, and the demand is
Always greater IMAM the supply. The
pullaihg Is heated oy steam, scientifically
ventilated, and lacks only swimming
. pasn 70 make ~ eompiete--a want that
~ art
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
HOt VoVttI5o uo' VuI III
tellects, sharpened by

priyation, are ma G
turing as his de-
clines. He cannot talk but the mouse and
the rat report him. His bed is watched
by our spies. The bat builds in his chin
ney and the terrapin crawls beneath his
portico.
Before the business proceedings com
mence, we will have the annual military
execution of the Pirates ally y
All the mighty host arose, in great but
suppressed excitement, as two dogs were
marched forward, resisting desperately
one hound and another a bull setter,
A gallows was erected on the top of
the pier and these two were strung up as
deserters from the patriot cause and noe
turnal colleagues of war, amidst a degree
of joy equaling the Indians love of re-
venge.
Considering that the main peril was
now over, Rolfe Stillson concluded to
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

"Isn't he a splendid pitcher :" ex-
claimed young lady at the Polo grounds,
who was witnessing her first game OF
ball.
eYes, replied her escort, mickey Is
good pitcher, but he's way off to-day.
as he2 Why, he seems 10 hit the bat
almost every time. Naso York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
A Hard Pan view of n.

Which is the best, to owe or TO have
Iagerbeer Of SS Guss De smith tbe S other dav
why, TO have something owing to you,
of course = answered Gus, who is one of the
brightest society youths in Austin.
II don't agree with you" said Lagerbeer.
"Weii, why not n
Because IL you have something owing to
you you may never get it. But If you owe
something, when you are able to pay i, you
never pay--why, then you are sure To make
a handsome profit 1szos Strings.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

apparently beyond hope, an old red fox
stepped forward and called him daddy"
and made a little speech, to this effect:
Brethren, this is poor, small witted
fellow, of real kindness and sensibility
for when was little foxlet, captured
with my parents in trap, this man
begged for my life and brought me up
tenderly. He at present supports this
farce of ferry, where everything exists
of bridge except the timbers and the
public spirit; and if we execute him they
might restore the bridge, which is at
present our own piece Of real estate by
the law Naturam egpelIas furca, taDsen u.s.
que recurvet. suggest that some of our
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
what IL Cost CHINA 10 GET IL.

The first copies of the Chinese impe-
rial proclamation in regard to the recent
appropriation by Congress of $173, 900 in
atonement for the Rock Spring outrage
arrived here last evening. They were
upon yellow sheets Of rice paper about
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25

shall have the measurements taken or do
any work at all in the gymnasium. About
eighty-five per cent. of them, however,
took the measurements last year, and the
proportion is constantly rising.
DR.. Sargent, who is responsible FOR the
system Of gymnastics used in large
majority Of the best gymnasiums IN TINS
country, is man of compact figure, I'VE
feet eight inches in height, weighing l70
pounds, having dark hair and brown
eyes, and enjoying perfect health. ne
is too busy in his office to DO much IN
the gymnasium, but he Is always sum
GENTLY in training to illustrate on the Dars
or rings any feat of physical proves
which one OF the students i called on 70
perform. He is quiet and unassumng
In manner, tremendous worker, ana