The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-02
BRIGHT BITS.


A soUALL makes sailboats capsze, but makes
a baby's mouth one size larger. -New Haven
Ne,cs.
A SHARK was found high and dry on the beach
at Savin Rock, Conn, yesterday. 1t is thought
he was on his way to Wall street and got
wrecked.-R Rochester Express.
HENRY preparing for the country)-There
ought TO be room in one of the trunks for my
things. l got you six.
Considerable wife-You forget, dear, that my
SIX dresses take trunk eacn; But l did not
forget you Here is nice little satchel you can
have all to yourself.-The Judge
A CLERGYMAN calling on a Washington street
family was ushered into the parlor, where Miss
Betty was seated at the pianoforte He asked
the young lady, member of his Bible class, TO
play one of her favoriteS"
Il am not playing favorites any MORE" she
said. III take the field against them every
time. "-SCrdt0gidT
A SPRINGFIELD (MAss.) CLERGYMAN, reading
an item which stated that q couple desiring to
get married called at the houses of ten minis
tiers before they could find one to marry them,
suggests that the daily papers should run list
of "miniSters at home" during the vacation
season under the head, "A Guide to Wayfarers
in Pursuit of connubal bliss. "-No11oich Bulle-
tin.
JIMMY, what did you do with all that cal1ey'
was asked Of Third street little boy
What cake, maEma!'
'why, the cake on the table. You cannot
have eaten it ally
Il put half of it in my mouth and ate it up
swell, where's the other half:"
"The other halfY Oh, l put that it in too. "
Detroit Tribune.
FIRST sALEsLAbY-Marie,
Second salesady-I am here.
Are you busyT'
where is the other saleslady?"
''She has not come in yet. What do you
want?"~
Il want some one to go and ask the lady
cashier if she can change a 800 bill for a
woman. "-OmdhG World.
LIGHT OF Hrs LIFE-George, dear, would you
do anything asked of your
George-You know l would, darling. What is
it, light of my life?
Light of his life-I want you to become
criminal
George--What crime, dearest, could commit
to make you happy,
Light Of his lite-Embracery. (The crime is
accomplished. It'd Bits
LOOK HERE, SIR" he said at the chief clerk
window in the post office, I've been trying for
half an hour to unlock my post office box"
Yes l know it,"
But the key won't fit"
''Of course it won't. No mans front door key
will unlock his post office box.
"Oh, yes, | sec. Yes, that's it. / got 'em
mixed o. course. But slool here, sir, want it
understood that excuse none of the shortcom-
ings of the Post Office Department on this ac-
count-not a single one. Detroit Free Press.
"HAIL COLUMBIA! HAPPY LAND American
Father-Yes, have son. but he is in Europe
Old-time Patriot-I beg your pardon, sir, but
it is a shame for an American youth, born in
land of liberty, the inheritor of freedom, be-
queathed to him by dying ancestors on the
battlefieds of the Revolution, to fritter away
his best years in Europe
Il sent him there to learn a trade. The ap-
prentice system is no longer allowed in this
country, you know
II see: but re will come back with no knowl-
edge of American institutions"
so much the better. Then he can pass him
self off fora forelgn-born citizen and get elected
TO en- Office. "-OBlGh1 World.