Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1887-06-09
FRENCH WITHOUT A MASTER.

FHENCTl -
rxueriences In Paris with the Language
as Learned in Haddam.
Especial Correspondence
PARIS, May 90
Opened fire on Paris in French Without
a Master" Learned it in youth at Connectl-
cut academy-Patois, OF East Haddam,
Teacher could "learn me anything" 50 long as
1 studied it first and he heard me "say the
lesson afterward. Tried East Haddam
French first on a Partisan cabman. Red
vest very long, shiny hat, rattletrap cab,
skeleton horse. Cabman fired back at me in
French used in Paris. Couldn't make it out.
Showed cabman my guide book. Pointed
toward 81 Rue Bonaparte, where l wanted to
go. Guide book said that was number of
Hotel de France. Cabman shook his head.
Talked, talked and talked Couldn't make
him out; nor lie me, either. Got in cab.
Told him to drive. He drove. Brought up
at last at mean looking house in mean looking
street. Enter lady from house speaking Hi
bernian English. Praised her house. Said it
was the very place l was looking for. Told
her it wasn't. Told cabman sternly to drive
me to 81 Rue Bonaparte. Grand display Of
shoulder struggling by cabman. Evidently
felt was not to be tI1fled with. Saw that
man who could murder French as ]
did was capable of numbering anybody.
Reached 81 Rue Bonaparte No Hotel de
France there. Big clothing store instead
Cabman pointed to it with an air of II told
you So" Understood then why SO much CAB
OH his part. Wanted to tell me the Hotel de
France was non est. Affected air Of knowing
Indifference. Wanted to appear posted to
NJ Gal,
greenhorn, and I knew he knew me for one
Got out. Paid cabman three times too much.
Put out. Didn't know where. Didn't care
Turned first corner / came to. What for?
To get out of sight of that internal cabman,
who stood and grinned after me as only a
Partisan cabman can grin. Walked down
street some distance. Turned Walked back.
Peeped round corner Internal cabman gone.
Felt better. Met policeman. Carried sword
Never uses it. More blood drawn officially in
New York with police club and pistols in a
month than in Paris in ten years. Asked
policeman in signs to point direction to Boule.
ward Sebastopol. Had directions there from
friend for lodgings Hoped policeman would
do nothing but point, and not talk. Too
much to hope for from Frenchman. VIII
talk on least provocation No matter wbetll-
er you understand them or not. So did
policeman. Talked and pointed and pointed
and talked Pointed north, south, east, west.
Northeast by north and south southeast
Boxed the compass and talked for fifteen
minutes. Listened and replied "Oui monsieur. -
every ninety seconds. Had that amount of
French down solid and used it every chance
got Policeman talked himself out and left
No more idea of where Boulevard Sebastopol
was than before. Afraid to try any more
policemen. Too much avalanche of talk and
singing around of arms. Wandered around
loose. Stumbled on the boulevard at last
Best plan when you don't know what to do.
DO nothing. Let things come around of
themselves. Engaged room on top floor
Of house. Seven stories. Top flool.-fulI of
working girls. Grisettes. Home at night
with bunch of charcoal in one hand and bun
lie OF msccaronl III the other. For suDper
All cook on one stove. Nothing but a plat
form with rows of shallow holes in it. No
nies IL their rooms from years end to years
end. Climate raw from October till Nav.
Floors OF brick tiles, damp and mo,dy.
Shoes covered with green mold in three
weeks. Fuel too expensive for the poor.
WOOD sold by the pound. Cent a pound,
tfed wood III my room. Girls awcd at nv
ztravagance. Never such before seen in
mat house. Costs me forty cents day TO
keep comfortable. French people generally
q rhenma licked and lumbagoed set Warmth
sought by bundling on clothes. Bandaced
jaws, faces and ears stuffed with cotton on
every side. Insane fear of fresh air and
irauGhts. To open window in omnibus or
street car creates general alarm among pas
sengers. Any scent in the air endured so
long us lhe ar is warm. p. n.