Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-07-22
HO v JOHNSON KEPT HOUSE.

"Iou can 90 just as well as not, IN,
dear" said Mr.. Johns,n, as his wifi
was bewailing the impossibiIity o
leaving home to visit her mother, wht
had invited her.
"But how will you get along while
| am gone ?"
"As if | could not keep house al
well as amy woman sid Mr.. John
son, Indignantly. "Th.t is. if had
a mind to. 1t would be little strange
if IA man that could build steam en-
gine, and tame the electricity, and Cal
culate to eclip es for a hundreds o
years to cone, conld not boil potato
and make coffee in pot!"
Yes. Yes, | suppose 81" said Mrs
Johnson; 'but I'll confess, Charley
that | never looked at it in that ligh,
before. | never supposed that. in he
ing scientific man, the art Of being
able t, cook we'll came along with it.
Bat no doubt you are right, and, il
you think you Can manage for fort
night, I'll 60 to mothers to morrow"
manage? OF course | can manage
/ And you shall see that | will have as
neat house and as good table as
you, and not spenu all my time pat,
terIng around, as women do, either"
SO Mrs. Johnson, relying upon her
husbands capacity rs household
manager. departed for her mothers.
Mr.. Johnson had invited Sam
Brooks, bachelor chum Of his, to
come and board at the house with him
during the absence Of Mrs. johnson.
He had boasted Of his ability to man
age domestic affairs more than once
before Brooks, AMI he wanted to prove
that he has not been overrating his
talent.
BROOKS had come over the previous
night. to help Johnson ."start out
fair" aud, when irs.Johnsou was out
of the house, the two men began plan
ming their work for the day.
81 aim to be at the office at eleven"
said johnson. land it Is now nine.
That gives us two hours to get the
dinner cooking, wash the dishes. and
do the chamberwork. Dinner will
cook while we are down town, of course.
My wife always getsit going, and then
she sits down To her sewing or fancy
work, till it's time to put i, on the
table. Brooks, did it ever strike you
that women have an all fred easy time
of it ?"
'.Of course, they have said Brooks,
with emphasis Anybody could See
that, with half an eye. Yet they a-e
ai~"y---e-,...,.!....-t. s---f hsint;- ;-oxAs-
worked"
well, women are natural complaint
ers, | suppose said Johnson, hunt,
ing around after his wife's apron and
getting it on up under his arms,
wrong, ide-out Now am uniform
ed. LIT us wash the dishes and talk
over what we'll have for dinner"
He seized the boiling tea kettle from
the stove. but dropped 1t instantane-
ously, and the water ran into the coal
in the hod. and under the mat, and
under the door into the dining room.
"Ou-g-h," cried Johnson. blowing
ami rubbing his scaldrd wrist, ..it
must have been steam. Confounded
the thing, didn't think OF the
OF the steam. Good gracious. the
waters running all over the house
Give me rag. quick. III mop i
up"
He ssizad the fine damask table.
cloth which Brooks handed him, got
down on his knees aud commenced
-oppi1g up tie water.
Your coat tails are in the coal
hod." cried Brooks. "By George. it's
too bad, and that delicate gray. too!'
johnson got up with "a hurried
whlsk OF the tails aforesaid, and thev
SWEET five dollar turesn from the
table, ard broke it into fragment.
at never rains but it pours," said
Johnson. striving hard to keep his
temper. as he surveyed the wet black
streaks on his coat. We've made
rath'r Dad be- inning, Sam; but We
shall come out all right. And we'll
wash the dishes in cold water. I'll
wash, because | have got an apron
on" and he piled tie dishes into the
pan miscellaneously, tin pans and
china altogether, and dashed some
cold water on them. "Where is the
dish cloth, wonder?' poking around
under the sink, and bringing to light
a calico rag, which had evidently been
used to clean lamps.
"What iA the dickens is that smells
so strong Of kerosene?" asked Brooks,
smiling the air suspiciorsly 81 won
der if I've got any on my clothes ?"
glancing around behind him, and ex-
the skirts Of his coat. "By |
Jove, johnson, it's your dish cloth
The oil is fairly dripping out of it,
johnson threw it on the floor with
IA gesture of disgust, and substituted
the towel they had just wiped their
hands on. The cold water flew in every
but the grease did not start
on the dishes. Brooks suggested soap
which slightly mended matters, but
was not entirely satisfactory.
"Seems to me the dishes don't feel
nor smell just as they do when Anne
washes them," said Johnson thought
fully; but then perhaps it is imagina
ton. Now, Sam, what shall we have
for dinner?'
"Perhaps it had better be simple
one, till We get the hang of things a
little more," said Sam, with caution.
''What do you say to a chicken pie,
tenderloin steak, custard pudding,
and some light hot biscuit ?"
"Admirable! Nothing could be
better or simpler. l will 60 out and
order the chicken and the steak, and
yon shall make the pudding. l guess
Anne would stare if she could see how
nicely We are doing"
He pat on another coat, went out, |