Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1887-11-12

PITH AND POINT.
SHOCKING Affair." galvanic battery.
The way to get fat is to go ell around.
The last demand for ight-the gas
bills.
S. TABLE dover for . widows Wild
over
ONE spooney girl in q deserted con-
servatory is worth two in q crowded
ballroom. Pretsel.
"SwEDE's iron" appears in an adver-
tisement. IF Swedes iron they might
go into copartnership with the Chinese
who wash.-Teras Sitti1ags.
The Empress of China has composed
60 verses of Chinese poetry. No won
der the Chinese are skipping out to
other lands like country editors dodg-
ing board bill - eaona7s Iaadepesad-
e2lt
SPEAKING of shad, would you say the
price has gone up, or has risen?" in
CURED a school-boy of fshmonger.
"Well," replied the scale-scraper,
speaking of shad, I should cay it had
roes."
"WHAT are the wild waves SAYING"
is the question. Just now they ere
saying not to come near them unless
you engaged your rooms month ago,
or are willing to sleep in the bowling
alley.
PROF. PROCTOR figures that the earth
is shrinking about two inches year.
That accounts for the nervous anxiety
manifested by some people to possess it
while it is of some size.-Ba4falo Er-
press.
LIGHTNING knocked over three men
who were sitting on box in front of a
grocery store in Patterson, n. J. One
of them was knocked senseless. The
other two exclaimed: "Leggo % I'm
coming right home!"
"Do YOU think the man legally guilty
according to the evidence?" was the
question; and Immediately every law
yer present inquired with extreme anx-
iety: "What is the amount of his as
sets and liabilities ?"-The Judge.
"WELL," said st. Peter, opening the
gate, "who are you?" "Pm q baseball
umpire" "Come in, what is left of
you, my poor man. It is those who
suffer most below who find easiest en-
trance here. Boston Courier.
OLD GoLDDusT (on his knees to the
Widow Bullion)-Ah, madam! I adore
you. Widow B.-There, there! Do
not get excited, Mr.. Golddust. You
have let your teeth fall in my lap.
Shall I give them a caramel?-Lite.
ETHEL, dear, you are looking pale
and i'll this morning?" eyes, mamma;
l went in bathing yesterday and got my
feet wet" 20, careless girl, and
spoiled your bathing suit, no doubt.
Never let that happen again. Bur
dette.
YOUNG Man TO sexton at church
door -Isn't the sermon nearly done?
Sexton-About an hour yet. He is
only on his lastly Young Man
Will it take him an hour to get
through his 1astly?' Sexton-No.
But there's the one word and I am
done, and the finally and the in con-
clusion' to come yet.
MEN Will hurry, and rush, and risk
their lives to get across the street in
front of a passing horse-car and then
stand five minutes idly on the curb
stone vainly trying to impress pretty
girl, who was married five years ago,
and who wouldn't look at them even if
they were gold-plated and set with
diamonds. -SomerUili Journal
"PAPA," said precocious Chicago
youth, "does the store man milk goats
when he gets buttermilk ?" "No, my
son; what put that into your hea ?d"
well, anyhow, folks milk goats, don't
they?" Certainly, my son." "Ain't
goat butter?" Eyes" "Then why
amt goats milk buttermilk?
Here is ten cents, my son; just go
over to the corner grocery and tell the
man you want to exchange it for nice,
large, ripe watermelon. Carl Pret-
zeps National.