The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-12-24

From the Toledo Blade.
Mr. Nasby Attempts an Endorsement
OF the Presidents Message.
CoNFEDRIT X ROADS, !
Wich is in the staituy Kentucky,O !
DECEMBER. IL, 1887.
Yesterday I received the follerin
dispatch:
WASHINGTON. Dec. IL, 1887.
10the p. M. at the Cross Roads:
In the interest Nv Civil Sery ice Re-
form the appoiDtees NV the Presiden:
are expeetid to see that his utterances
are endorsed. See to this p. d. q.
LAMONT.
AAwink Is as good ez a nod to a
blind hoss. and / immejiltly called a
meetin NV the Dimocrisy at the old
meetin-house. and then set to work
Ifeedln the message NV His Eggslen-
ey. and studyin the pInts wich 1 wan
ted b elaborate. ] aIIuz like to be
50 ezto be effective. I bate
goin off half.cocked.
The pint witch struck me with
the greatest force wuz the assershun
that the present inikitus tariff forst
the opprest and sufferin people to
pay for goods above wat they shood,
jist the amount NV the tariff levied,
wich levy went to build up oppres-
siye monopolies; wich is to say that
on every dollars wuth Nv English
goods wich we bot, we paid, adish-
mel to the dollar, forty or Watever
per cent the inikitus tariff imposed.
Eff it was forty per cent. we
paid for the dollars Wuth S1.40, and
eff fifty per cent a dollar and half,
and so on.
Ez l teech best by illustrashen, the
mint 1 got this fact fixed in my
mind l perceeded to arrange my illus
trashen.
l hev Bustid. afore now. by not
being fully prepared,
| closed up the Office and stepped
out to Bascom's to get nip to stiddy
my mind, wich 1 took, payin him
for it. | am payin cash half the time
for my drinks now, and actiIly payin
suthin, (ez little ez possible,) on old
account. Steppin out into the street,
who should l see comm out Nv OPP
penheimer's clothin store, but Sim
Gavitt, a nigger wich blonged to
Squire Gayitt afore he wuz robbed
NV him by Linkin, and wich hez the
gineral cast Nv the Gavitt feechers so
much so ez to perduce coolnis be-
twixt the old Squire and his wife
years ago. Sim wuz drest from top
to toe in entire moo SCOT NV cloze,
hevin his old ones done up in a paper
wlch he kerried in his hand.
A ijee struck me to-wunst,
"Sim," sed 1, "wood a dollar in
doose yOo to cum to meetin to-
night, and wear them close ?"
"Is 700 to speek ?" he asked.
"Startin," sed 1.
"a dollars purity cheep make it
a dollar N 'alf and it's CO."
IAN 700 will git up and come
forrerd and be talked at. when 1 call
yoo?"
"Yes."
ats 60. Be on hand early. and
ware them cloze."
"All rite, boss"
The evenin come. the horn was
footed and the Dimocrisy filed out Nv
Bascom's, and filled the house to
overfowin. 1 red the message to EN-,
and seezin upon the central Uee in it
that the cOnsOomer wuz taxed to fill
the pockits Nv the blotid manoofac-
toorer, worked EN- up to pitch Nv
desperashen, witch wuZ singler, ez the
cloZe on the entire seckshun NV the
Dimekratic party in that meetin-
house woodent hev invoiced at that
mint fifty dollars. However, l hey
notist that the man whose sole pos
seshun is yaller dog, and whose
wife takes in washin to support him,
is the heftiest complaner Nv the bur.
dens Nv taxashen. myself hev dun
suthin toward settlin the nashnel
debt.
The time fur my illustrashen wich
wuz to clench things he'd come. 81
wish to make practicle illustra-
shen." 1 sed II see Simeon Gayitt
in the awjence, with moo SCOT of
cleze on. Will Simeon step for
ward ?''
Sim walked up, rather embarrassed
at bein the best drest man in the
room.
"Yoo notis this SCOT NV cloze, my
trends. amt jist shoor wat the tar
iff is on wooden goods. buttons, thred
and sich, but / will presoom that it
averages sixty per cent. E+timatin
the home valyoo Nv the goods at say
500, my frend Simeon wuz compelled
to add to that $12, which hez run up