Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-10-02
CARL DUNDER.
The Uncertainties of Life are Daily Exem-
plifed-Consequently He Proposes To Re
tire To Germany

pllned-COnsequentlyh He proposes 10 ne
tire to Germany
Detroit Free Press
Sergeant, maybe l sails for Shermany
next Wednesday," said Mr.. Dunder, las
his shadow fell acress the desk at the CEN
trail station yesterday.
TOO rich for your blood. EN-" queried
Sergeant Bendal.
IL vhas discouraged nit dis country.
Der land vhas all right, but der peoples
vhas full of tricks. If shtay here yhas
in fuss all der dme."
What's the last?"
Deere vhas no last. 1t was something's
eafery day. Der odder day stranger comes
in und looks me all oafer nit shmile on
his face. Don't | remember him? Well,
no. He hat some advantage on me. Why,
Mister Dunder, how short your memory
vhas! When you vhas some aldermans in
Moo York vhas county clerk. Ha! Shake
hand. 1t vhas good for some soar eyes to
see you again. All der poys vhas speak
ing of you. You doan know how mooch
you vhas missed. Put it dere ole pOyf
Well, sergeant | vhas neafer an alder
mans in Moo York"
"Of course not, but there were several
people in the saloon and you didn't want
10 admit it,
''Shust like dot, exactly, und dot man
drinks fife glasses of my beer und shmokes
three of my best cigars Anodder day two
fellers come IN. BY Shorge! but vhas dis
Mister Dunder? He vhas. Well, by SHIN
my, but how can we pellet our eyes? How
vhas you anyway, ole Teller? Der last we
gee of you vhas when King William an
Prince Bismarck comes down NIT der
shteamboat TO see you sail from Shermany
und wish you safe voyage. How vhas dat
watch which der King gives you dot day?
Well, sergeant, eaferbody hears dot talk,
und What shall do? like TO feel proud,
you know, but haf to treat dose fellers
NIT beer und cigars"
81 see"
"Und some days" continued Mr.. Dun
der, in plaintive voice, 'fife young fell
lers come in my place. Was | Carl Dun
der? vas. All right, Mr. Dunder. BY
your sharity und philanthropy you haf
won der esteem ind respect Of 10, 600 peo-
Piles. At der regular monthly meeting of
der ii. o. b. Society you vhas elected An
honorary member, NIT der full privileges
of der library. We shall he VERY glad TO
see you any Wednesday eafnings. Dues
81 per month, payable in advance. Now,
What shall ! do sergeant"
lyon have to pay, Of course"
"Of course und treat dot crowd TO boot
Und some odder times a reporter comes in.
Was Carl Dnnder? | vhas All right.
Mister Dunder, | vhas after some society
items among der leading Sherman peoples
! like you TO see der following: Among
der leading Sherman citizens of Detroit
who Will spend der winter in Florida yhss
Carl Dunder und his beautiful wife. Mr..
Dunder vhas first and foremost in all en-
terprises intended to benefit Detroit, und
his name vhas prominently mentioned in
connection with the next Mayoralty.
Mrs. Dunder, it Will be remembered,
vhas der first partner selected for the
dance at the Gofernor's levee by His EK-
celleDcy last winter. Her fine figure und
elegant toilets attract shenersl attention on
der shtreets.
1T vhas shust like dot, sergeant, und
hat to feel proud oiferr him. 1t yhas all q
lie, you know, but 80 yhas most all dot
society peesness. vhas tickled all cater
md dot reporter reads him to my wife
uud she yhas tickled, und 80 | gifts him
fife dollar"
And the item never appeared"
Never! He vhas crowded out to make
room for Lydia F. Pinkham or Duffy
malt whisky, ind vhss left some NOR
times"
"Well, can't help you any," sighet
the sergeant
Il know dot. Nopody can help me, und
so, like said before, guess l 60 back t.
Shermany. Der land vhas all right here
und nefer see sooch nice place like De
troit, but der peoples yhas too queer
Goodbye, sergeant, und If you doan 81
me some more like to hat you always re
member dot tried to do all right"