Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-07-07
cLgyga! n IpEFINIrIoNa
A Few Extracts from the Pages Of tho No
American Dictionary,

A Few Extracts from the Pages Of tho Now
American Dictionary,
Author--A man who scissors tho
distance tables out Of railway guide.
the population of cities from tho ecnsus,.
an article on Volcanoes" fsvtii tis-e en-
cyclopedia, the rules of base hall from
newspaper almanac and then pub
fishes it under tho title Of "Gems OF
Thought and Mines Of Knowledge"
The term was formerly applied also 70
a person who wrote a book; in this
sense it is now obsolete.
Beauty. Professional--Scc Advertis-
ing Agency.
Congress--A benevolent association.
organized for the purpose of supporting
the Congressional Record and denying
whatever may be printed therein. See,
also, article on Natural Gas. Il
Critio-See Manager.
Divorce--Scc Chicago.
Ducl-A fashionable sanasement,
formerly considered dangerous. but
now quite popular among tlp leisure
classes on account of its assured harm
lessncss. 1t is highly recoipmended
by physicians for all persons who arc
too weak to play base ball.
Egg-A tribute Of respect and adj
miration. See Lecturer.
Fun--See boys and "Heada{he."
Gum. Chowing-A course ot study
at girls school; soc also. caramel
and bed-hoad MTG
Horse-A compilation Of strange
diseases, that develop immediately
after the sale. Sec Taken jnp and
Honest Farmers"
Independent--One who always takes
the other side to show that he can't be
influenced. 4#
Judgc-A title Of honor applied to
gentlemen who held stop watches and
have the best seats at horse reces; in
uncivilizcd communities so,aetimes
applied to persons who preside at the
sessions Of courts Of justice.
Kicker-A man who never origin
ates any thing or suggests any thing
and opposes every thing any ono else
suggests. See "Mule. p"
Lady-A female who takesaa wash
ing, does kitchen work or watts on
hotel tables.
Major-A citizcn Of Georgia.
Narcotic--See "Sermon. .
Onion--A drug for strengthening tho
breath; much used by confidential pco-
pie whom you cordially dislike and
who are forever trying to whisper
something TO you which yon do not
wish to know. 4ti
Professor-Any one except an in
structor in college or university usu-
ally horse tanner or dancing, master;
sometimes a corn doctor, a. IA.
Quart-A unit OF measure applied 10
the size Of the hip pocket; flask
which holds about enough for Ave men
In Boston, three jn Ohio, and one in
Arkansas.
Ridor--In England. man who tries
to fall off horse; In New York, man
who does full off Soc also Bounce"
and Buck"
Talk-A singular sound produced by
opening vacuum; disease often fatal
to Presidential candidates. who arc apt
10 be attacked by II unless restrained
by their friends. See "Lockjaw.s'g (.
Umbrclla-A myth of tho Jiincteonth
century; picco Of portable property
that can not be hold in soveraity;
something which you have not, or il
you have, 1t is not yours; that which
can not bo kept. See, also. Thief. /"
Vanity-The quality by which man
IS enabled to lightly ascend tho long
stairway to the editorial room with q
poem.
Wrath-The quality that enables him
to go down again in half tho time.
Witness-The principal victim in any
criminal trial; one who Is forbidden by
American law to say what hrsaw or
repeat what he heard. See e'Brow-
beat" and Badger"
X-Something which wo do not hap
pen to have about us for couple Of
days. i
Zodiac--A procession of animals on
tho cover Of tho almanac; the interior
department on street parade; merely
introduced into the language as part
Of schemeto enable tho lettor lizard
to make itself; nuff zed. --Robax j.
Burdette. IN Brooklya Eagle.
stts y