St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-12-25
A FOOLS WISDOM.

who mc0gnit0 has been the guest OF St.
Paul friends for month past. He is 9
naughty Saxon p0tentate, with the usual
idea of visiting foreigners that America
was created for their particular amuse-
ment. The family with whom the baron
has stopped have man and maid ser
want. The former every morning, half
an hour before breakfast, knocks at the
doors of the sleeping chambers and
Knocked" at the doors, but "kicked"
Would have been more truthful. The
first time that he thus awakened the
baron, the latter, astounded at such q
hullabaloo, rushed to his door, dashed
out in his night shirt and, Selling the
frightened mental, threw him down
stairs. The family passed the
little incident over without notice,
soothing the servant as best they could.
The next morning the girl was sent to
wake the baron, and with remarkable
lack of foresight she "kicked" on his
door. He was expecting it, evidently,
for the door under the push of her toe
opened, and the Baron from inside del
uged her with basin of water. After
that he told his entertainers that serv-
ants ought to be ladies and gentlemen
aSwell as their employers, and that when
luCy hlChCu Ills uOOl HO plOpOoCu w
cure them of rude manners with practi-
cal jokes.
The most remarkable document ever
issued by railroad commission is the
one just sent out by the Minnesota
board in regard to the Manitoba and
Northern Pacific railroads. These roads
refused to make Scent passenger
rate, and the commission, addressing
the public, asks it to enforce the law.
The travelling public, by the advice
of this ingenious commission, is to
board Manitoba and Northern Pacific
trains, offer Scent fare. and
after being thrown off of the
cars by hard-headed conductors
and monopolistic brakesmen, prosecute
the companies for violation of the laws.
This recommendation, in its orig
inality and original asininity, bears the
imprint of the mind of HORACE AUS
TIN, another. countersign of ELI
WARNER. 1t is Mr.. AUsTIN's concep-
ton of how the railroads should be
roasted over hell. Will the people never
awake to the nature of this farce? Will
they persist in ignoring the fact that the
railroads own the present state railroad
commission and administration? Why
do the state grain inspectors and state
officials travel on free transportation?
These gentlemen finger their passes Tor
mileage books and then, cOnfeSSing that
they cannot enforce just railroad law,
ask the public, at the risk of their lives,
to put it into effect. 1t reads like a
huge joke, does this last circular from
the commission.
In it's circular the commission says
that if persons rendering Scent fare
OH these roads are elected from the cars
it believes they lean recover damages"
Why doesn't the commission test the eff
cacy of this law itself? Is it not the
servant of the people, and chosen to en-
omy of one of the commissioners be
placed on Manitoba train. Let him,
instead of rendering a pass, offer
Scent fare. Then when he has been
booted off the train and walked over by
Red river valley brakeman let him
commence suit and recover damages"
Place the corn-fed flesh of JOHN l..
GIBBS on a Northern Pacific train
without free transportation and allow
him to try the Scent racket and suit.
These gentlemen receive large salaries
from the people for dong nothing.
Here is a glorious opportunity for them
to earn their salt and prove their devO-
ton to the farmers" Oh, horny
handed sons of toll, but the railroad
commission is playing you for suckers!
The facility with which certain Re-
publicanS of this state boom each other
for any and every office gives rise to
the suspicion that their action is con-
certed. To the casual observer it looks
like mastery attempt to keep them
selves from tumbling into deserved
oblivion. Gov. MCGILL kindly mentions
Mai. STRAIT for the vice presidency,
and the major suggests the governor
for congress. Mr.. MERRIAM alludeS to
the loss the national senate experiences
by not having DoNNELLY, and DON
NELLY refers to him as 1.-The coming
governor" Capt. BRADEN hints at an
increased system of pension S; and 10,
the q. A. r. posts at once consider his
availability for high Office. 1t is a
game of ''yOu tickle me and I'll tickle
YOU" GILMAN SHORES in the north,
SPRAGUE sleeps heavy in the south.
Col. BOBIETER has the cramps. JOHN
LIND comes down with the collie. These
sensitive creatures live in doubles, and
by certain harmony of action manage
to aid one another quite successfully.
OF all the old settlers still living in st.
Paul, Gen SIBLEY is about the only one
who keeps up active literary work.
This he does in addition, as one puts it,
Ito giving ten hours every day to the
wants and cares of other people," There
is many an old Indian still living in the
Northwest who owes much to the gen.
erals generosity. HENRY M. RICE in
the earlier days wrote quite extensively,
but of late Justly thinks himself entitled
to a rest. RAMSEY finds his books and
papers sufficient entertainment. Gov.
MARSHALL has let his editorial work
slip away with many other cares. l
asked him recently what he thought OF
the presidents message.
Il am in hearty sympathy with it,"
he replied, although it has vulnerable
points. l should like to see congress
consider the tariff without partisan
spirit, and secure early the necessary
reduction of the surplus"
tits ANDREW R. McG1LL's first Christ
mas as governor of Minnesota. What
did he find in his stocking this morn
ing? Read, oh, gentle friends, this list
of gifts, and thank your Maker that you
are not our chief ruler:
''File 157; the Irish vote; STORDOCK;
broken pledges; REED; loss of friends;
Prohibition; defunct railroad commits
sion; diSorganiZed party; GILMAN
curses; MERRIAM plots; FLETCHER
lukewarmness; general disgust"
BY A Fool.
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