The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1887-07-20
THE ABOVE ANALYZED.

First. He tries to lead strangers into
n false impression by stating that "the
natives pillow the steep hillsides," when
he stops, and says nothing of the cult
walton Of the beautiful undulating and
bottom lands. This shows his motives
to be misleading and malicious.
Second. He states that 1.-The bottom
lands are as poor as Jobs turkey, and
don't produce anything but crawtish,
which grow to perfection" In this state
ment he wantonly wastes the truth, if
he ever possessed such virtue to play
profigate with, because these same bot
toms produce with any of the best lands
of the West.
Third. "lf | felt stout could Jump
across the largest corniield | have seen
in Kentucky" Here he allows his little
narrow mind to contract his eyesight.
The facts are that many corn fields con-
tain from twenty TO fifty acres.
Fourth. "The plows used may be of
the same pattern Adam used" As far
as history informs us, Adam never had
any occasion to work in the Garden of
Eden, and for aught anybody knows to
the contrary, was Il gentleman of leisure
after he was forced to retire for his in
gratitude to God. 1t is safe to say he
never vilified the people among whom
he visited, at any rate. The plows mostly
used here are the most modern made.
Fifth. "The stock is what | call very
poor" Here he sizes up by his own half
bushel, and all stock men know that the
instinct of a scrub jackass is to look
with disfayor upon Il superior animal.
The truth is that much of the stock is
"high grade" while the native bovine
produces beef the most delightfully."- tooth
some ever enjoyed by epicure.
Sixth. 81 was out To see a harvesting
machine" and he describes an honest
farmer grading grain, evidently trying
to "smake believe" there are no machines
here. We have rcapers, mowers and
threshers of the latest and most APPROX
ed patterns.
Seventh. 81 have not seen any Hi
nois' since | came here" Not finding
every other person victim to either
"mlk-sck" or "chils." we don't know
them-he thought he had wandered into
heaven, ard knowing he was out of place,
he was "shecpish" and home sick.
Eighth. "My remarks may not sound
as sweet, &C., to the natives of Ken
lucky" Now, "don't let that worry
you," you swect-scented snob. The PEG.
pie will treat you a. charitably us did
the fellow the other jackass kicked, and
Consider the source"
While we wonder that Craig was not
stricken down, like Ananias of old, for
his reckless regard of truth in the above
passages of his printed production, we
are also amazed that Satan did not strike
him down for telling the truth in the
tenth clause. There he says the water
of Swango Spring "is valuable iron
tonic" and if a railroad were running to
this place "many would come 10 be ben
Gifted by il" Having told the truth in
the last two counts, we wonder that his
patron saint, the Devil--''father of all
liars"-did not "sit down Oh him" and
squelch him for malfeasance in his ma
liciOusness.
Wiping our hands of this warmth"
let us add that the paper containing the
above letter was mailed rs with request
(by Craig, maybe) that we reply. We
have hurriedly done 80, but if the reply
il not satisfactory We will furnish up our
Faber and come again. Ia the meantime,
this advice to the good people of Illinois,
and we know they are many: We have Il
welcome for ALL but if you can not send
us better sample than that of the Craig
stamp, why just keep your Sucker-State
scabs tn, Ia.