Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-06-09
Musical Medical Travelling Troops.

Ever since man became fully conscious
that he decended from a monkey a
large portion of such men love a sensa-
ton. Such beings-always wanting
something -else-kind of people-love
an exaggerated lie and the bigger the
exaggerated lie, the bigger is their love
for it, Sensations, imaginative, super
stltlous folks have no need for demon
stratlve reasoning or mathematics.
They are beyond the rules of geometry.
They can be humbugged, are humbug-
ged and the hopelessness of their case
is that the repeated humbug does not
Nothing but the absolute loss of so
much cash and more than certain failure
of the remedy has any conviction on
such men, even than the yare very chary
of condemnation because there lies a
mystery in it and they do not propose
to condemn mystery while regular
methods by reputable persons and
known remidies are condemned in
scathing, frey words because foresooth
it lacks sensation and conforms too
much to rule. Those persons who are
the most superstitious, the easiest hum
bugged are yet somewhat practical in
everyday life. They know that the
uncontrolled wind will not
build polished stone wall,
that water will not run up hill without
other than natural forces. They are
often familiar with the products of the
vegetable, animal and mineral kingdom
and even can discourse on their good
and bad properties. They will and can
drive shrewd bargain in every thing
but mystery. When some mountebank
or quack pomposuly describes some
MYSTIC combination they are lost in the
superstition and wonder of what it might
do, Our town is supplied at the present
time with more quack and venders of
nostrums, "pills, powders and plasters,"
than reliable practicing physicians.
This means that we are possessed of
sufficient dupes who ponder to the
mystic combinations of stuffs made to
sell. The omen of the times seems
sufficiently evil when the noblest of
professions, one which requires the
most careful study and observations, is
belittled by mountebanks, quacks,
medicine peddlers and salve leaders.
of the foundations of medicines.
Now, far be it from the intention of
this article to advise any not to go to
quack, mountebank, or impostor, be-
cause that would be against the liberty
and genius of an American-the freest
people on earth. But just remember
that it is pure question of to have cold
cash or not to have it. Such Institutions
do not run for fun. 1t would be reason
able should b butcher, grocer or dry
goods bill exist to first pay them. But
should you deem it indispensable to try
THE GREAT go with philosophical care of
your hard cash. When you count it
out for THE medicine count it out slowly.
Listen to its silvery ring, learn the
properties of the metales as YOU give it
away. Watch the reflections of the rays
of light from the old white dollar-you
know silver reflects more rays than any
other metal-Watch the effect of your
care and slowness with cash on the
medicine man. He will promise to cure
or refund, just then say to him [ will
put the pure cash in the bank and you
can have it when / am cdred, that will
perceptibly effect any medicine man.
| Don't be excited, keep your teeth well
closed and your fist ON the silver in
your pocket. When you have preserv-
ed your money until the venders have
gone visit your neighbor whose head
was not so hard and whose money went
on the railroad and ask him how he
feels. Don't wait for an answer but
| hold on to the cash.