The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1887-11-03
WIT AND HUMOR.


sgree with your views, Professor.
Lose Bldetter.
'.Does your wife play the pianop 81
am sorry to say she doesn't. Does
she play any musical Instrument
t'None whatever" "Hey! Ihats
rare accomplishment" = Neso York.
Commercial.
In Tennessee they imprison men for
lying. If that practice should ever
become general it would be necessary
to build Chinese wall around THIS
country and call the inclosure prison.
Syraease Herald.
This is the composition new teach
er had the pleasure of hearing read IN |
a school not far from Concord: ''Going |
to SCHOOL, like to go to school when
we haye,a good teacher. | don't IKE
to 90 to school this term. ."-Co'acoTd
On H. Monitor.
1t takes Missouri journal to give q
comprehensive opinion. We ind In
a st. Louis paper the decision that III
YOU; are a married man your Wl1e
can, compel you to support her: II
YOU are not she can't. .'-Fstfsoa1rg
Chroaicle Telegraph.
..Do you think that we literary men
are oyerworked?" asked writer
during a conversation at dinner ta-
blep 81 don't think so" some one re- /
plied. ats the public that is over
worked. The readers are the ones
that need rest. p-Arkamsaac 1Taretsr.
80. mammal" exclaimed little Edith.
running into the house nearly out OF
breath, ..there's going to be a mar
riage deception over to Mrs. Uppums
this. evening" Marriage deception!
HIM! what ridiculous blunders chill
dren do make sometimes! s!s-Boston
Transcript.
Omaha man-Will you reopen your
summer hotel next seasonp Summer
landlord-I shall be here, but not as
the lessee. l have obtained job as
head waiter. s.Eh? You don't say
so? Who will be the lessee them?
ssThe head waiter had this season.
-Onsdha World.
Friend-Don't cry 80, dear. Char
ley was real good husband. idoW
II know it. | don't believe I'll ever
get any one like him again. Every
body knows he was SO good to me that
in common decency | cant try again
for ever so long. Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo'
-Tovas Topics.
Two Paris critics were discussing
ayoung actress who had recently made
her debut. What do you think of
herP' asked one. ''She has very little
talent. but lots of dog" s.Why, |
thought she took a prize at the Con-
servatoryp" s.No, it was at the dog
sbow.".Boston Herald.
Jones-"I say, Smith, saw great
,oo;o;on last n,oht. He could give
you lemonade, OF any arlnA you Mamy.
ed out OF q wnlte nlsn na.' az nrnoa4 s,
Inabt hoShihSi "eVo 80. %
a on Jul ona Ak cont bntter ont of the same
IL ;, = Eoa,er,e Roznr
a.,
A machine mas as peen antshena =; asaa sua
VIII sew on o'oo9 ont.ohs IA one 10y.
Ihls Is TOO much NO han sal "an.' a.a,1
1900 buttons sewed d, on single gat
ment ne wears. Ihe p.oiase .as;aa
toned dresses worn W ene 100 hnt
year as0 sata'.a, uion Ua.aiJ
,e
De. an uo use !, sa;d tano.h
snake III ulsshol eouns' ..WLa.,S =
looking Young in'u, .;,, o. ..Na :.
mater, L tese o,,o I,3,1 "" 10 R,-1;sar's 90
ouI uhu s'aa IN; mn, aal.nr+u@ranh in Fin
Iwlcet as p,s ph1i h.a nnbod,
Hosues u ;oI,an IN do ,rotess;o;;
an anoms We aooSn Was6;,,atos frific.
van ne aos
Police 'Umcef, you say thi
man Is notorious Aua'vhise
your honor. nes as o'lu Ns ~.
Most mere aia you ar'es' "'n''
81 caught him in the act OF carryin:
away several bafs OF soap IRON
grocery. ANA yet YOU s"ofe l'a
he was an Anarcnlst? Ohiesr' you q,
under arrest for perjury. -Lti1coe'
Journal.
Visitor at Kansas penitentiary-..
see YOU have large number of lif
prisoners here. es; ana IT'S PIT
that capital punishment Is iiot III vogu
IN the state as many OF theh fle.il
deserve hanging. Dfueai Iiuroe
and such IKE! IVY ell. no; the mui
derers are not so bad, but there are
least twenty who sold beer Illegally.
-Msts0Gat6ee State Jourfsdt.
A teacher in a boys school in an ad
Joining county found forty big pupil
out of sixty-three who had never rea,
the Constitution of the United States
and were ignorant OF the cause whicl
led to its preparation. Ever.
mothers son OF them. however, coult
tell the standing of each baseball
club in the National League and th
American Association NorristoWi
Herald.
Darling" he muttered hoarsely
s.I reformed for your sake; beeaus
you asked me | have foresworn tn
saloon and its pleasures. Still yo.
avoid me and Keep me at distance.
II am sure, Charlie, you were quit
heroic in doing SO much for me?
Ihen why DO you nraw haqghtii,,
away rom mes because A., ! can
pear t1e smell OF cloves. -NeofasS'
State Joarnat.
ssAny man." said Bonebrake, "eal
achieve success by persistent effort
There is a great deal of truth in tha
old maxim that in the bright lexicon
of youth there is no such word as fail
and it applies to the old as well as t.
the young" That's rather odd,
whats rather odde' "Why. tn