The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-05-21
WIT AND HUNOR.


A New Orleans gambler calls hi
assets f Plurihss Unum"-won fror
many.
Capital punishment-Being oblige'
70 cit with The girlA-BurIi~gton Ere
Hee&
A genius In Troy has Just invented
stove that saves three quarters Of Ii
wood, while the ashes IL makes payD 70
the rsmainder.-Bostow Bwdgek
us the car about to striker asks n
exchange What's the matter Wit
Alexanderp DOES he want two hours
day and . 10 per cent raissf'-Rhild
de!phia CdA
Look here, Joseph. Ihave been ring
ing IN hour. and you've only jus
come" '.Well. IL l hadn't been her
now You might have rung q good Will
longer. fudge.
why arc you going into that dry
goods shop when there are 20 many
pretty girls on the street," my deal
boy, / lind counter attraction in there
Bottom Bulge.
"Whom shall our daughters marryr
asks the Wosn0n's Journa. Well, dear
they might begin with . man. and il ht
don't answer they might try . cigal
sign.-Jersey City argus.
Al thought you were . vegetarian
and now ] see you eating mutton!" I
-''Well, am only au indirect vego
tarian-I eat the meat of such animali
only ~ live on vegetable food. File
Qende Biaeller.
Young Physician-"I assure You
shall be able to cure you completely in
. very short time, indeed. possibly in q
day or two" Enamored Patiently
there isn't the slightest hurry, ! assure
you!'-Harper's Bazar.
A travelling man from the East sprung
the following conundrum on . hera d
reporter the other day: '.Why is q
banana stand like the setting sum-
Because tho 'dago's' (day goes) with
it"-Sk Joseph Herald.
"Gracious!' exclaimed . rural lady
with . surprised look at Bartholdi's big
statue, land is that the Goddess Of Lib
erty3 Why. had no idea that she was
30 much bigger than the rest Of US wo-
men. "-Norrtstoxn Herald
They were talking of the baby. Visit
orr think he'll take after his father.
Grandmother-O. dear me! hope not
Visitor (astonished) why not Mrs.
Fiighty? Grandmother-His father IL
in Canada-LoweH Citizen.
"Now. Johnny. you remember that
Lots wife was changed to . pillar of
salt because she turned and looked back.
Why did she turn and look back?" 20.
Is'pose some other woman passed her
with . new dress on. "-R0mbicr.
Scrap of conversation between two
ladies overheard on a suburban train
. few mornings since: $50 George is az
Harvard now?" 20. yes; this il his
second year. you known; he has just
entered the sycamore class "-Boston
Record
Candidate for Coroner-'.Never mind.
wife, when l get elected my fees will
buy US all the comforts of life" Wife
-''But John. suppose there are no
sudden deaths?" Candidate for Coroner
10. we'll. we won't look on the dark
side" lid Bits.
Gallant passenger Ito fellow-passen-
ger)-Will you please tell that woman
that she can have my seatP Woman
(indignantly)-IRm not a woman. sir;
am lady. Gallant passenger (bland-
Iy)-Not woman? Excuse my mistake.
Cal.
Sue Fitzpercy has large amount of
liry persihage." remarked the high
,choo! girl. Have you noticed it
lous big hustle. Mildred. but I didn't
know the dictionary word for it,
tittsburg Chronicle Telegraph
'.What have you been doing to-dayr"
lsked . young man of tho idol of his
cardiac region. five been watching
mother darn Clothes" replied the lady,
md tho young man went of aud won
Tered why her mother needed watching
iarn close.-San Francisco Alto.
An unexpected comment: Pastor
'.En says again. brederin', put not
yoh trust in Kings" Still small voice
10 congregation-''Right yoh is. chile,
right yoh ia Aces is bettah. n dat's
De reason Use come ter chu'ch wivout
no obercoat dis mawnin'."- lid Bits.
A Lynn clergyman relates that on ono
after marrying . couple m
envelope was handed to him which he
supposed, of course. contained the mar
riage-fee. On opening it he found . slip
IL paper on which was written: I'VE
1esire your prayerA "-Lynn (Aasa)
ITEM
Did you gain aesh BY gong to the
beach this year. Grantly"T II did.
indeed. BROMLEY; gained l25 pounda"
'Pshaw! Impossible!' Fact my
lear fellow. Come up to the house
md I'll introduce you to her. We were
married last Sunday" - Chayiestos0n
I'VE propose having . game supper
It our church next week, exclaimed =
'pinster 1T the opera-house entertain
nent the other night; nov. what kind
II game would you recommends"
We'll. II you want to draw all the boys,
suppose you try poker" calmly replied
Joseph Pickle.-Eimira 0asette.
A small boy on his first appearance
n . parish school ut Rochester. N. Y,
vas asked II he knew the Lords Pray
". He replied that he had never
,eard Of 1t, whereupon an urchin At his
tide. with . friendly desire to u1cuse
lis Ignorance, said to the teacher,
Please. ma'am. he's . stranger from
Pennsylvania"
Smallbore-How did you manage.to
rot tho Common Council to grant the
Aid Anger = That was
simple enough: l judiciously intro