davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
HUMOROUS.

"A watch has been invented to
carry in the boot while travelling. In
this man can always travel On tick.
elbow was your son when you
heard from him last?' "He wrote me
that he was so i'll that he could neither
sit nor stand" ''Then if he tells the
truth he must lie ~. Y. Graphic.
No love is so intense as that of the
eighteen-year-old youth for the twenty
six-year-old girl. He gets over it, of
course, but while it's in motion it's
sixty miles an hour, including stops
Puck.
Jaw, Ariel, donthewno, I've a
terrible cold in my head" "You
should be very grateful, Algernon,
that you have "Why, deah?'
"You now know that you have some
thing in it. - Chicago Tribune.
-Dobson erected danger signal.
''You are fixing it, | suppose" re-
marked Thompson, $50 that he who
runs may read" "On the contrary"
replied Dobson, 81 am fixing it so that
he who reads may run. "--PiHsburgh
Dispatch.
A machine has been invented which
will sew on buttons as fast as seven
girls could do the work, but when it
comes to sitting up of q Sunday night
with a young man seven machines can't
begin to do the work of one girl There
is no fear of any invention driving the
girls out Of market. Detroit Free
Press.
TEL me, my dear uncle" said a
nephew to the old gentleman who, re-
nowned for his gallantry in his youth,
was relating some of his recollections,
"of all the women you have ever
known, by whom were you most
struck?' by your sainted aunt, my
dear boy" was the unhesitating reply.
IN. 7. Ledger,
The girls at Vassar College draw
each other into a corner and mys-
teriously inquire: ''Do you know why
Prof. Blank wears plug hat?' mo;
why is it?'' 40 cover his head, of
course" Then they te-he-he and no!
ho no! and write home to ma that they
passed ninety-eight per cent. in Hoyle.
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Winks''Why, did not know
American Indians ever had idols"
Mr.. Winks-"They haven't" But
the paper says the chief of tribe of
Digger Indians daily worships {. stone
chnrn." so! well, that's not remarka-
bic. Since we've been boarding I've
felt as if / could worship genuine
churn myself. "-Omaha World.
He Was Not Joking-..Are you
married or single?" asked New York
judge of a witness in divorce suit.
Il am not married, but my wife is.
Now if you get Of any more jokes in
this courtroom, I'll lock you up for
contempt of court "Why, Judge, l
amt joking. was married and got
a divorce. Ny wife married again,
but | didn't. | know when I've got
enough. SO you see Tn not married,
but my wife is. You don't catch me
joking on any such serious subject as
matrimony. "-TeTds Sitti9lgs.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
THE EAST.

A FIRE destroyed ten buildings on the
Goth at Greensburg, Pa. Loss, 100000.
MEMORIAL service was held on the even
ing of the Goth in Plymouth Church, Brook
lyn, to celebrate the completion of the six
tieth year of the ministry of Rev Dr. Ed
ward Beecher, d. D.. the eldest brother of
Rev. Henry Ward Beecher.
FRIENDS of Don Cameron held confer
ence the other day at Harrisburg, Pa. to
arrange for placing his name before the Ma
tional Republican convention as candi-
date for President.
OVER two thousand brewery employees
Philadelphia struck on the 30th ult against
a reduction Of twenty per cent. in their
wages.
Mr.. POwDERIY i'll recent letter to
friend in New York strongly denounced tho
Socialists, and told them that men who for
1854 days in the year advocate the use of the
dirk and bullet, and who ON the 365th day
walk up to the polls and vote for the con-
tinuance of the system which they de-
nounce, could not be recognized by the
Knights of Labor.
GENERAL w. w. LoRING, aged seventy
| one years, a veteran of the Mexican War,
Il Confederate General in the rebellion, and
more recently corps commander in the
Egyptian army, died in New York on the
30th ult.
A BAND Of counterfeters is said to be
working in New York CITY, and were get
ting rid OF their bogus coin through the
agency OF saloon-keepers and bar-tenders
HILBoRNE l.. ROOSEVELT, of New York
City, one of the largest organ builders in
the world, and inventor of electric APP
planes, died on the 30th ult., aged thirty
seven years.
OK the LIST the proprietors of the Boston
Herald announced to their employees that
during the present year they should each
have a share of the net profits of the bust
ness.
HoRArIo POTTER, Bishop of the Protes-
| tant Episcopal Diocese Of New York for
thirty two years, died at his home in New
York City on the I'd, aged eighty-seven
years.
TwENTY-slx vessels of the Gloucester
| (Mass,( fishing fleet were lost last year,
with 137 lives.
OK the 3D. five colored Baptist mission
aries, Rev. j. j. Coles and Mrs Coles, of
Richmond Va; Rev. L. B. Topp and Mrs.
| Topp, OF Jackson, Miss, and Rev. j. J.
| Diggs, of Shipland, Miss, sailed from New
| York for Central Africa.
The Oleomargarine law has, it is stated,
already saved over 81, 0000 900 to the dairy
| farmers of New York State alone.
| FIFTEEN HUNDRED men employed about
| the New Jersey coal docks, from Hobolzen
to South Amboy struck on the 30 against
a reduction of wages
OK Christmas the steamer la Cham
payne sailed from New York and landed
her passengers in Havre on New Years
| Day. The feat is an unprecedented one
| OK the Sd an unknown man committed
suicide by jumping from the suspension
bridge into the Niagara river rapids. dis
| lance of 1876 feet.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
A Field Day for Right.

The Temperance people of Ohio
lately had field day in the Supreme
Court. In addition to the decision con-
firming the constitutionality of the Dow
law, the court also decided the case Of
John G.. Heck vs. the State of Ohio,
error from the Circuit Court of Tus-
caravans County. This was suit
brought by saloon man to test the
right of the Agricultural Society to
make him close his business during q
fair, his place being located within the
mile radius forbidden by law. Accord
ing to recent enactment it was made
unlawful to sell liquor within two miles
of any agricultural fair ground during
the progress of the fair. This law the
court declared to be constitutional by
affirming the judgement of the lower
court. Judge Follett dissented from
this opinion. This decision will be of
the greatest interest and Importance,
and practically closes the saloons in
every county seat in the State during
county fairs, as they are held in every
county. In this city its provisions viii
apply in territory now occupied by
IS, 900 people, where over 300 saloons
exist Cleveland Dispatch.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.


John Peter Richardson. Governor
of South Carolina, is the fifth member
of his family who has been elected to
that office.
George Augustus Sala writes SO
small hand that. it is said. not a sim
gle compositor's name appears on his
list of friends.
Buffalo Bill is an officer of the New
York Society for the Prevention of Cru
city to Animals, and chum of Henry
Bergh.-M Y Mail.
David Wright. colored citizen of
Columbia City, Fla, is the father of
twenty-five children, most of whom
are living. His present wife is worthy
of her third husband. for she has born
twenty-seven children, of whom nine
teen live.
William Lockport Hunter, the fa-
nous Texan hero, who was one of the
fourteen survivors of the Massacre of
Goliad, died few days since at Austin,
Tex. He was also one of the three
men who left the fated Alamo in the
hope of securing help for the gallant
garrison. AT the time of his death he
had reached his eightieth year.
Joel Munsens Sons, of Albany,
publishers of genealogies, have under
taken the compilation of large and
valuable work entitled american An
cestry," in which the direct male line
age of every citizen of the United
States will be recorded who can trace
his descent from families settled in
America previous to 1900. - albany
Journal.
Mrs. Whitney's brother is quin-
tomillionaire, but is not at all spoiled
by it people say. He is in his fiftieth
year, has pleasant manners. and the
one thing in life he is Unfortunately vain
of--not his money. not his success, not
his million-dollar house, not his palace
car and his pictures, but-his sister,
the wife of the Secretary of the Navy.
Boston Traueller.
--Grandsons of Thomas Ewing, of
Ohio, and Reverdy johnson. of Mary
land, are serving as pages in the Sen
ate, of which their distinguished grand
fathers were once such prominent men,
bers. Senator German, of Maryland,
and Representatives Scott, of Pennsyl-
vania, and Townsend. of Illinois, were
pages in the House in their boyhood
days. Washington Star.
The monument to John B. Cough,
the famous temperance orator, in Hope
Cemetery, Worcester, Mass, has been
placed in position on the family lot. It
is plain but tasteful and substantial
sarcophagus of granite. 1t is about
four feet in height, on base about 81
by 81 feet, and surmounted by cap
about 81 by q feet On the middle of
the front of the base is the name
Cough, in large letters.
General Hoke. now at the head of
the new Georgia, Carolina and North
ern railroad, was a Major-General in
the Confederate army at twenty-seven
years of age. When the war was over
he wanted to 60 to New York and start
life anew. He had no suit but the old
gray uniform, and he had this dyed by
an old servant, while his mother COW
cred the buttons with pieces of all old
bombazine dress. Chicago Tribune.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
Its Days Are Numbered.

The Liquor League have not been
very successful in their efforts tn bull-
doze the people. It has been proven in
court that they have hired men to plav
the spy and sneak on those that do
works of necessity and mercy on Sun
day. 1t has been shown that certain
members of the League have entered
into conspiracy to prosecute bakers,
milk-dealers and other necessary Sun
day businesses, with a view to break
down the prosecution of the violators
of the liquor law, law, too, that the
liquor men themselves had framed and
passed for their especial use and benefit
by willing Legislature.
The Liquor League, as stated, have
signally failed in their attempts to bull
doze the people. 1t is true they have
mad men arrested, put to expense and
deprived of liberty pending their trials,
and TO loss of time from their necessary
vacations. This prosecution by the
League of legitimate business to serve
their private ends will, if carried
further, eliminate in the bringing of
suits by the parties that have been or
may be acquitted of these malicious
charges, of conspiracy and for dam
ages against certain of the wealthy
Washington street saloon-keepers and
prominent brewers; and where prose-
cutions are shown to be malicious and
the result of conspiracy, courts are apt
not only to give compensatory damages,
but also to award punitive or vindic-
tive damages. The Liquor League will
soon find out that they do not own the
courts and the State, even if they do.
for time, override the law. The day
of retribution will come sooner or later.
The most aggressive Temperance man
could ask nothing better for the fur
therance of his hopes and wishes than
this attempted domination of and by
the Liquor League.-Indiana State
Journal.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
Better Than a Door-Bel.

A pair of lead knuckles weighing
seven or eight ounces were taken from
prisoner who was being searched at
headquarters the other day, and the
sergeant picked them up and asked:
What do YOU use these for?,
"To knock on the door and rouse up
my wife when / get home late,' was
the reply.
Then they answer for a door-bell,
eh?n
"That's it, sir, only they are ten
times as reliable. You can't hit your
wife with door-bell if she comes down.
stairs jawing, but You can with these.
I'm poor man, sir, and have to study
all sorts of economy. Detroit Free
Press. -
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
TEMPERANCE.
DO YOU REcoeNlze AIM >

He was walking up town, it was on Saturday
night
That the Union met. and he said twas no,
right
70 compel poor man, who is working his
best
To pay SO much dues, so he stopped for a rest.
He walked in saloon and ordered the beer,
Which was placed on q table, and he drew up
chair
And commenced to reason, about in this way:
A man can't stand it on three dollars day.
He drank up his beer and ordered another.
And just at that time in came brother:
de asked him TO take one, and was glad that
they met,
Besides its too early for the meeting just yet.
81 want to ask you a question about paving
our dues,
Don't you think them too heavys Don't Won
think we're abusedg'
Wen, I'll tell you, my brother, the reason and
why,
First let's have two beers, for Tn getting quite
dry"
And the brother continued in about this wav.
When mans got groceries and house rent
to pay,
And has to buy clothing, school books and
SHOES,
There isn't much left for the payment of
dues"
So they sat and they talked till twas much
after ten,
And too late to go to the meeting just then;
Two more beers and deck of cards to play
Were called for to pass the time away.
So they played and drank till twas twelve or
more,
And the landlord said he must close the door;
Said one dollar and fifty cents must be paid.
Which was quietly done and not word said.
And they staggered home their wives to be-
rate;
Complained that the Union kept them out late,
And for taxes and dues had paid quite an
amount
And said that the Union was not much account
Iron MoNLaersl .T0lirnnI
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.

Plum shoots grated upon wild
stocks do well. Prairie Farmer.
The editor of the Orange COUNTY
Farmer trains his tomatoes to poles,
and they grow six feet high.
1t may not generally be known
that if the saucepan in which milk is to
be boiled be first moistened with water,
it will prevent the milk from burning.
Chicago Journal.
Instead of selling old cast iron at
one-half cent per pound put small pieces
near the roots of grapes, currants,
gooseberries and fruit trees. It is very
beneficial. ~ E. Farmer.
1t will be noticed that the sweetest
and best crop of plums are grown in
dry seasons, thus showing that dry,
well-drained upland locations are best
for them. The same, too, with grapes.
The Gardener.
Grapes grown on trees are free
from disease and yield plenti-
fully. Plant them rod away from
large trees and train them up to limbs,
and they will soon run through the
trees.-N. Y Post.
Use the SCOT from the stove-pipes
and chimneys. 1t is excellent for
flowers and young plants. Mix it with
water, about peck of SCOT to barrel
OF water, and apply with watering
pot Troy Times.
The white trench willow is regarded
as the best variety for planting on
farms. 1t has great vitality, and grows
very rapidly. As the trunks are
straight, they make good fence posts
and supports for sheds. The wood is
good for fuel, and makes the best quail
ity of charcoal. Chicago Times.
-Parsnip Fritters: Scrape and boil
tender. rub through colander to get
rid of the tough and stringy portions,
beat in an egg, a tablespoonful of milk,
a teaspoonful (heaping) of prepared
flour, with a little pepper and salt;
make into small fat cakes, flour and
fry in good dripping or Chicago
NeWs.
The following. will give satisfae-
ton for cleaning cloth: Take half an
ounce each of glycerine, alcohol and
sulphuric ether, two ounces of aqua
ammonia, half an ounce of powdered
castile-soap, and add water enough to
make one quart of the mixture. Use
with brush or sponge, and rinse with
pure water.-Ihe Household.
Stuffed Potatoes: Choose some
large potatoes, peel them, cut a small
piece off the top of each, and scoop
them out carefully with a knife and
fill them with sausage meat; replace
the top pieces. Grease a baking-pan
with butter and lay the potatoes side
by side it it, with a little lump of but
ter between each; bake them in hot
oEen.-B0ston Budget.
49, Experience has taught that, tax
ing one year with another, the best
place for the storage of roots is in
trenches in the field. Trenches two
feet deep and two feet wide at con-
venient distances in the field to accom-
modate the speedy delivery of the roots
seems to be the most perfect way of
disposing of the crop. The trenches
should be filled rising full, say six
inches above the natural surface of the
ground, then throw on light covering
of tops (this is an important poinD and
cover with the excavated soil, making
a roof-shaped ridge. The crop will
keep perfectly in this way till all are
used.-Prairie Farmer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.

/
| On the Goth the CHARACTERISTIC of the
| British Exchequer was accepted by Sir
Michael H:cks-Beach, to fill the vacancy
created by the resignation Of Lord Ran
| dolph Churchill
| THE steamer Sir John was burned Just
| outside the harbor of st. John, N. B., Or
| the 29th; and five of the crew were fatally
| injured. One man was drowned. The
| vessel and cargo were valued at $70,0 600.
| THE belief was growing in Vienna on the
| Goth that Russia was determined on war
The Gar ordered the massing of 100000
| troops at Kief.
| On the Goth Mr. Gladstone celebrated his
seventy-seventh birthday. He attended
| early service at the Hawarden Church, and
| received presents and congratulations from
all parts of the world.
THE death of Baron Won Oppelseir the
Austrian astronomer, occurred i'll Vienna
on the Goth, at the age of forty-fve years
IN a recent fire at Lisbon five persons
! were killed and q number of tiremen were
| injured.
THERE were forty-four new cases of chol-
| era and eighteen deaths in Mendoza, Ar
gentine Republic, on the Both ult
THE death of Ex-Governor Gibbs, known
as the War Governor of Oregon, occurred
in London ON the 30th ult., where he had re-
sided for two years.
DURING the recent great snow storm in
| Germany over two hundred lives were
| lost.
By collision of steamers fourteen per-
sons were drowned on the 1st off Bardsey,
Eng
| AT the Peoples Park in Madras, India, q
| fire broke out the other day while the annual
fair was being held, panic ensued, and
| three hundred people were burned Or
| crushed to death.
Ten miners lost their lives by the falling
of a cage in Houghton (Eng.) colliery a
| few days ago.
| THROUGHOUT Canada the business failures
| for the year 1886 numbered 1889, with liabil-
titles of SIC, 1856, 900, against 1856 failures in
| 1885, with liabilities of IS, 831, 900.
In the Old World the whole list of casl-
| alties reported during 1886, including those
| who persisted by cholera and in battle,
amounts to 1lS,023, as compared with $751;
| S45 in 1885.
IT was officially announced on the 3d that
Goschen had accepted the Chancellorship
of the Exchequer in the Salisbury Cabinet
as a Liberal Unionist.
| AT Toronto on the 81 Rowland, the tenn
perance candidate for mayor, was elected
| by majority of 2,277.
THE Odesealchi palace at Rome was de-
| stroyed by recent fire. Loss, 81 100000.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07

In Philadelphia about two years ago
Samuel Simpson employed a man in his
jewelry store. The latter fell dead
from heart-disease II few days ago, and
was buried at the expense of his en-
ployer. The discovery was then made
that the deceased had stolen from the
store and carried to his rooms an as
sortment of goods appraised at four
thousand dollars.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
NEARLY EXTINCT,
Evidence That the American Buffalo Ha
Rean Nearly Mined ONT of INxistanno

Evidence That the American Buffalo Has
Been Nearly Wiped Out of Existence.
MINNEAPOLIS, Mimi, Dec. 30-William
I. Hornaday, chief taxirdermist of the
National Museum at Washington, is in
the city on his return from big buffalo
hunt in Montana in the interest of the
Smithsonian Institute. He said
1.-THE object Of our expedition was to lay up
stores for the famine in buffalo specimens
which is sure to come in year or two at the
most We knew, in general way, that the
species was gradually becoming extinct, but
not till we arrived ON the ground did we realize
that the expedition had been made lust in
the nick of time. There are, probably, a
hundred buffalo in Texas. and not many
more than sixty in the Yellowstone divide,
where our hunting was done. So far as we
ould learn there do not appear to be any at all
the north of that region. A large herd went
north in 1888, and have never been seen OF
heard from since. We secured all told, twenty.
five specimens, SO that we now have fifty skulls
twenty-five skins and' sixteen skeletons"
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07

The celebrated express-robbery case,
in which the Van Vert (O.) Bank sued
the United States Express Company
for $4,000 lost in transit from Cincin-
natl, terminated recently by ver-
dict of $10,367 against the express
company. The counsel for the CON-
pany held that the package could not
be opened without destroying the seal,
The bank attorney took a sealed pack
age and, with heated knife-blade,
removed the seal, took out the contents,
replaced the package, and sealed it up
so that the jury could not detect that
il had been tempered with.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07

THE Montreal ice carnival this year
Is to supass all previous efforts. 1t
will require twenty-seven thousand
blocks of ice to construct the palace.
The structure will have tall tower, a
short tower and huge round tower,
all in Canadian-Norman style. There
will also be a labyrinth of ice-blocks,
eight toboggan slides, skating, curling.
snow-shoeing and sleighing ON the
usual large scale, grand fancy dress
skating scene, and full-dress ball.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07

HENRY WooD, who was county treas
rer of Carroll County, Ark. and is
serving five years Imprisonment for
stealing six thousand dollars of county
funds, has grade application for a new
trial, his defense being that he kept the
money in an old boot hidden in u hay
loft, and that the boot was stolen while
he was away from home.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-01-07
---------'--------4ll- . -
The RAILWAYS.
Notable Year for Construction Over
5000 Miles of Track Built in 1886 at q
Cost of $160,0OO,OOO


Notable Year for Construction Over
5000 Niles of Track Built in 1886 at a
Cost of $3.50, coo, 900.
CHICAGO, Dec. 30-The RaNway Aqe prints
an interesting statistical article showing
the mileage of railroads built during the
year, together with comparisons with pre-
vious years and by States. 1t is shown that
the past year has been notable as period
of remarkable activity in railway construc-
ton, exceeding in the aggregate of new
track all of its predecessors, with the ex-
ception of two years-1981, when 9,796 miles
were built, and in 1882 in which no less
than II, 1858 miles were added. In the year
just closing over 5000 miles were added
This was distributed through the various
States as follows: New England States,
81; Middle States, 399; Southern
States, 1,102; Middle Western States,
|, 118; Northwestern States, 1858:
Southwestern States, 1880; Pacific
States, ISL; grand total, 500. Kan.
sas leads the country with the surprising
amount of 500 miles of track laid down in
twelve months; indeed, the greater part
of this has actually been laid within SIX
months, very little track-laying having
been done in that State, or indeed any 9th
erin the early part of the year. Nebraska
comes second with 737 miles; Dakota
next with SIS miles; Minnesota with 5S7
miles, and Texas witA 543 miles. Assum-
ing the average cost to have been only S2O,-
900 per mile, this means an expenditure for
roadway alone S160,000,000. Add to this the
enormous and unknown AMOUNT expended
for equipment and the still larger amount
expended for wages, fuel and the other ex-
penses Of operating this mileage, and the
total is almost incredible. Unfortunately
a very considerable part of the construc
ton recently completed and of that under
way is the result of intense competition be-
tween great companies, which is multiply
ing parallel and unnecessary lines to an
extent well nigh alarming.