Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1887-06-22


tn Imperor ev the Frinch, NspoIcon
the Third, was dhrivin' down the
Bulyvards, an he sit.in' in his
big coach wild six horses, and all sur
rounded wild officers an giuerals on horseS
back; an along comes the military, troops
an troops o. soldiers, an the band OF the
Garde Republican, ahead o. thin, an.
playin' away they wor on, beautiful
march. Th' Imperor raised his finger;
the six horses fell back on their launches,
an the carriage stud still.
Haltr sez th Imperor. They halted.
Paulus,' seq he.
"'Yes, your Majesty sez Paulus, com
fn' over to the step o. the coach an takins
off his hat.
"'Who's on the bassoons to-dayr
"O'Reardon, your Majesty
"Egadr' SCI he, knew il. Dhrive on
''That was mo brother Tim"
A friend Of minc, n good musical critic
and clever journalist was once editing
a musical monthly issued by q publ shiug
house whose chief object in getting out
the paper was presumably the announce
mont of its own musical publications. The
owner comp aimed that my friend was
rather severe in his criticisms of the new
songs and ballads, and one day he ex-
claimed:
'Its all well enough for you musical
fellers to make fun of these songs, and
call 'em cheap, but I'd like to soc any
critic write one as guod, that's alln
"All right" said the editor" I'll show
you"
He went home, knocked of threa
stanzas Of machine poetry about an old
cottage door, with roses, an old mother, a
garden path, something about eyes, hair
and gentle voice, and ending with 'snever
shall forget" then sat down at the piano.
'worked around" n little, fell into melody
that suited, worked it up, wrote it down
In an easy arrangement, and the next
morn nc handed it to the publisher (who
received it with GRIM. and the1 being
very busy man, went away ard forgot it.
Some time after, the ''boss," loohinq
rather sheepish, said to him:
"Say-I printed that song of yours"
ais it possiblea Thought that no living
critic could"
''Oh yes, know; That's all right You
go to the desk, and Mr.. Clincknr will givo
you forty dollars; and, sav, write me an.
other one, will you. just like it'll"
But my friend had demonstrated his
right to criticise, and declined to work the
machine any more, even at forty dollars q
revolution.
Many years ago, said newsnaper man
to me, when the New York Herald was
"personally conducted" by Mr. JamcS
Gordon Bennett. q young Irishman brought
TO the great editor a letter OF introduction
from an old friend in Now Orleans The
letter asked Mr.. Bennett to give "thc ladr
something to do on the papar
The cold man" read the letter, looked at
the awkward youth, and said:
"Have you eyer had any experience In
newspaper worki"
"No, sir.''
"IGver tried your hand In writings"
"No, sir"
"What is your linel Do you know any
thing about any thing in particularf'
mo, SIR"
"Ah, yes, wcn, Mr.. Hudson, guess
you'd better Let him do the music"
And he "di / the music" tor many year,
A lawyer of tho city having presented
his wife with a now piano, was requested
to engage singing teacher for her. Ho
knew absolutely nothing about such mat
tiers, and so when he saw in some newspa-
per an advertisement announcing that
Nine. Chestone was prepared to teach
the genuine Italian method OF vocalization,
he wrote and engaged her services, and
considered the affair settled.
The distinguished teacher proved to be-
self-possessed aud voluble person.
sisted of an animated monologue on things
in general At tho secoud lesson she
stood by her pupil and said: Now, nv
dear, don't know whether you're goin,
to be Patti or Cary. ] can't tell that
for three weeks vet; but one or the other
you'll be. Now fi!' your lungs full and
let out yonr glorious voice. Don't be q
mite afraid. You know as weil as de
that your lungs amt nothin' but a pair Of
hollow tubes, with air an intelligence
passin' through 'emis
With this lecture the lessons ended
AT a symphony rehearsal the lady so.
loist (call her Miss Secura) had been sing
ing badly out OF tune. During the pause
after her song, while the orchestra were
] picking and strumming and getting every
thing into tune for the next piece, my
| friend said to q nice old German gentle
man, who was twisting his flute and try
ing the pitch, at is hard to keep all the
instruments together on damp day like
thisn
The old gentleman shrugged his should
ers. "Achl WE'LL" he said; "what differ
encea We will get Miss Secura to give US
some A"
This little sarcasm did not reach the ear
OF the singer. More's the pity.