Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1887-06-07
MISCELLANEOUS.
Telephone Inspector.
d Tennessee Judge aCho WISHES to be
accommodating.

Judge r is a very quiet, easy
going man when everything runs
smoothly, but let him get ratified and
the neighborhcod can't pacify him.
He will snarl at his best friend when
annoyed, and the man who plays a
practical joke on him had better en-
igrate. Yesterday, as the clock struck
l, he was seated in his Office, very
much worried over chancery case
in which he is counsel, and his desk
was fairly Uttered with papers, while
he was hurrying through with n GER
tain part of his work before dinner
hour. Suddenly the telephone bell
rang n gentle summons, just as
though the girl in the central office
knew the Judge was busy and hated
to disturb him. but was, nevertheless,
compelled to, in order to satisfy the
individual at the other end of the
wire. The Judge rose hurriedly,
jerked the receiver from the hook,
and yelled ':Hello?''
A silvery voice. girlish won't
you oblige me accent-betrayed that
one of the. fair sex was the caller
The Judge toned down and inquired,
t1a weil?'.o --
sis that Judge Esp said the
sweet toned voice
"Yes," was waited back.
"OhI am so glad. This is Miss
N. and have been given charge
of all complaints on the line. Before
making out our new list 1 wish to
learn how your instrument works"
"Just like CHARM" replied the
gallant judge. 81 have no fault to
find either with the instrument or
service"
"Thank you," was the sweet re-
joinder, but you know how the
managers would appreciate a few
words of commendation from you, so,
if you are not too busy, wonld it be
asking too much If you would devote
fifteen minutes toward n thorough
test of your Instrument"
When there is lady in the case
the judge is never in a hurry, and in
his blandest tones he announced him
self at the young lady's bidding.
Another vote of thanks came over
the wire, and the soft voice inquired
if he would place his ear about ten
inches higher than the transmitter in
order to test the power of hearing
distinctly.
Unfortunately the judge is large in
circumference but not far from the
ground, and he could not reach his
arm above the ear trumpet rack,
much less place his head up there.
He was man, however, who was
not to he overcome by trifles, and an
idea struck him. He determined to
oblige the telephone girl, and he pro-
ceeded to inform her to hold the tel
/ ephone just minute and he would
be ready.
Again the bewitching voice uttered
thanks, and the judge put his plan
into operation. The telephone was
alongside the office window; about
half way up the casing was stout
nail; a revolving bookcase stood on
the floor. II was quickly rolled over
toward the window; the judge mount
ed it, grasped the nail on the window
casing with one hand, the ear trumpet
with the other, and sang out s. All
ready"
There was no response, and the
1 judge nearly twisted his neck out of
| joint as he leaned down and repeated
the words through the transmitter.
The sweet voice answered in low
tone, and the judge strained his ears
in listening. Now, Judge" came
the message, 't listen attentiveIy and
repeat the following words back to
me, so that L may know you heard
them distinctly; What part of
speech is the word transmogri1can-
bandanduciality:
1t was too much. even for the
judge. On the tenth syllable he
squirmed; the nail broke; he made
a grab for the telephone box; the
bookcase reyoIved, and the renters
in the story below thought the roof
had fallen in. When several of them
came running into the room the Judge
was lying in the middle of the floor,
the law books from the case between
his knees, while in his hand he
hugged the fatal ear trumpet, which
he had clung to in his fall, and the
cord of which had been snapped in
twain. d;
The matter was given into the
hands of a detective, who last night
reported to the judge that the tele-