Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1887-03-21
WIT AND IIuMOR.

The Germans age is saus-age;.
But the best and worst is marriage
-Tid-Bts.
A fortune awaits that adept in pal
mistry who can accurately read his op-
ponent's poker-hand.-BoSt Post.
The nudity craze is said to be spread
ing. Shoulder straps and belt is now
the regulation corsage for evening
dress.-BoSton Herald.
1t is a sad and curious fact that a
great many men have much better
notion of an ideal wife than of an ideal
husband.-Neso Hacen Ne,cs.
''Ah. sec new star in Orion, :" OBJ
served Mr.. Snaggs. "Orion!" repeat
ed Mrs. Snaggs; II have never seen
that play, think. ."-TYd-Bit
Pedestrianism is said to be growing
fashionable in New York. The new
fad began about the time of the last
slump in the stock market.-BoSton
Herald.
Old women are sillier than young
ones because they have been SO longer.
Orphan children have not so much
need of guardians as stupid men,
Christian at Work
A young woman in telephone office
in Western town has resigned her
position because an irascible customer
shouted Hello backward to her.
Neo0 York Tribune
George" she said, suppressing a
yawn, ''why don't you turn over new
leafp" "a new leaf?" "A new leaf,
George. Make it 10 O'Clock instead of
ll."-Harper'S Bazar. -
A reporter called on Ben Butler a
few days ago and found him reading
the Bible. Benjamin complained ex-
ceedingly because he could not find the
authors name.-New Hauen Ne,0S.
What, asked Toozer, "do you
think of man who owed his tailor a
bill for years?" THE deucer exclaim-
ell Brown, excitedly "Who is the
tailor? Quick!"-PiHs6urg Despatch.
A correspondent wants us to print a
specimen of chestnut. Our religious
exchanges for this week have not yet
colne To hand, but we will make note
of the request.-Burlington Free Press.
1t is said that the young woman who
splashes herself while working at the
washtub is fated to have drunken
husband. Very few young women now
days put themselves in danger, then.
Boston Post
A man in Middletown told his wife
he ''loved her better than his own
soul" The man has not been to church
in five years, and the wife does not
know how to take the compliment
Kingston Freeman.
Husband Ito wife, in full evening
dress)-I shouldn't think you would
care to wear costume as decollete as
that, my dear. Wife Confidently
0, think there is no danger of tax
ing cold.-N Y. Sun.
Indignant husband CATER the ball)-
You really went too far in your con-
duet with Capt. Fitzhenry at the ball
last night. Don't YOU know that you're
a married womanP Unrepentant wife,
Yes, but he didn't.-LJe.
''Do you object to smoking, Miss
FLOP" asked young Dumley, Not at
all, = replied Miss Flo; .'but / don't
want pa to see me. He's got old-fash-
ioned notions about such things, you
know. ''-Nei0rO Orleans Ptcdyunc.
Young woman, would you strike
envy to the hearts of your sex? Enter
the horSe-car with your head enshroud-
ed in cloud. Everybody will think
you are bound for the theater and envy
you accordingly.-Bosto,s Transcript.
In tho opinion of scientists there will
come period when the earth viii
cease to revolve on its axis. To the
man, however, who, on going home at
night, has to wait for an opportunity
to catch his bed as it passes him it viii
continue to 60 around.-Boston Courier.
Magistrate are accused Of
stealing chickens, Uncle Rastus. Are
you guilty or not guilty? Uncle Has
tus--I pleads not guilty, yo' honah, an
inquests de privilege of frowing my
self on dc mercy oh de cou't in case de
evidence goes again me.-N T. Sun.
Isn't it pretty lonesome out in the
country" he said to tire boy whose
parents moved out on farm last fall.
II guess not, was the reply. PA and
ma have just as many discussions as
they did in the city, and us children
get licked about the same. ''--Dctr0i
free Press.
In his discourse Sunday morning the
Rev. DR.. Stewart brought ont with
great piquancg this observation: .sTC
hear some lawyers talk bat for five
minutes wisi rost you $500. but In