Morning journal and courier., 1887-07-28
RAPED.

t'I was rapped in slumber," said the tramp the policeman hit him with 8 club Washington Critic.
 che new fsafior rae ti1ss needs sgs much front window airing and sunning-so that people passing along may see it.-Kentucky State Journal.
 Omaha boy-''Pa, why can't we have Blinkers?" Omaha Pa-"Mr. Blinkers be- longs to the gas company" 'What differ ence does that make, pap "He gets his gas for nothing. g."-Omaha World.
 Ned's father took him in bathing at the beach this week for the first time. Ned is four years old. Next day somebody asked him how he liked it. ''Well," said he, q liked it frst-rate; but wish God would turn on the hot water faucet first. st."-SomervilIe Journal.
 Omaha ma-"Oh! my dear, our little Dick is going to be 8 sculptor" Pa-"Didn't know he had any artistic talent" ''Oh, it is wonderful. To-day gave him glass of hy- drant water and he put his fingers in it and made the most beautiful little clay model you ever saw. w."-Omaha World.
 'sWhat's this piece called ?" asked 8 young girl at concert. "It is a caprice Hongroise," replied her mamma consulting her pro- gramme. Caprice Hongroise Isn't that what brother waxes his mustache with ?'
  pomade Hongroise." And then all was silent and the concert proceeded.-American Reg ister.
 While amateur gardeners are perplexed to keep the tireless worm away from their choice vines the problem long ago ceased to annoy those who have been farmers from cradlehood. Most insects have special aversion to galvanized tin. Nail a small piece on each side of leaf and the worm retires in disgust. Nothing bat tin that is galvanized seems to offend him this year, New York Times.
 Why does a young man wear a single bar rel, center fire eyeglass, my son? We'll be- cause that kind of young man never under stands more than half he sees, and by shut to keep about half way up with the show. Does thee savya Well, keep on savyin', and if you must wear minocle, keep both eyes wide open and wear your minocle over your mouth and you'll know more and look pret- tier.-Burdette.
 Young Ted Castle-Quite 8 lot of girls smiled at me on my way down the avenue just now, Jack; chawming girls they were, too.
 Jack-I don't wonder they smiled, Teddy. Your necktie is way around under your ear. Puck.
 Captain Ardare-Just one kiss before I go; just one to soften the bitterness of parting.
 Miss Prudenee-Captain Ardare, I am pained at your request. I thought you knew 1 never permitted such liberties; besides, this isn't good plaee.-Judge.
 4 housewife on Antoine street had cleared off the breakfast table the other morning, and just as she gave her pan of dishwater a heave into the backyard a man came around the corner of the house and received the full contents from chin to heels.
 "Oh! dear, but beg thousand pardons!" exclaimed the woman when she realized what she had done.
 ''Not pardon, ma'am," he calmly re- piled.
 "But it was so careless in mel"
 ''Not bit of careless, ma'am. am 8 gentleman out of work and with no means. I make it practice to call at various houses in search of cold victuals. In most cases they sling the bull dog or an axe at me. I lay my hand upon my heart and assure you that this is an ovation-a change-a diver- sion that can really enjoy, and thank you for it. Good day, ma'am. ."-Detroit Free Press.