The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-09-14
Evils OF Gift-GIving.


Sham and show. perplexity, annoy
ance, and extravaganza have crept into
the custom of gift-giving. Though one
may make gift out of the depth OF the
heart, and do it becomingly and unas-
sumingly, yet it seems as if dozen in
fiuences were bearing on him t. force
him into greater expense than he can
| afford, or to give where he is reluctant
to do so, or where he must make show
of the article given. Quiet, unostenta-
tlous, spontaneous giving shines
brightly, when We find it amid the
dreary heartlessness, the gaudy show,
and the heartburnings that often ac-
company the formal giving that is q
part of social life.
The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all problems, even outrank
ing the common What shall 1 wear ?"
then is, What present shall send?"
1t is not enough to 60 and participate
well-wishing and congratulation, for
none of this will pardon the neglect or
oversight of the gift. There will be
the question, where is Mrs. Jackson's
PRESENT." and then the unpleasant
comment if she has made none. So
Mrs. jackson sets out to find some
compromise between pride and purse,
perhaps poverty, something that costs
no more than absolutely compulsory,
and yet looks as if it were worth a
great deal more, something that the
other guests will not look at sighting
ly, if not speak of contemptuously, or
at least think of In the same spirit.
And then the guests compare these
proxies of themselves and put them
selves on exhibition, after a fashion,
about In the same way that they would
do if they were to stand up before
committee of critics and have the style
and elegance of their clothing passed
upon. The show is at last over, but
the jealousies and heartburnings re-
main, the fear that responsibility has
been endangered by the insigniicance
Of the gift, or the overlapping con-
seriousness of few that they each
made the best, or one of the best, pres
ents of the lot.
Afterward, as is more or less the
custom IN some parts of the country,
the names of the donors and a brief
description of their gifts appear in some
newspaper, there to undergo further
comparison and criticism and all the
train of Accomplishments. Finally, if
the present was valuable enough, it
may find its way to a shop where dupli-
cate presents are bought and sold, so
little did the receiver care about the
personality of the giver, or of such
little use is it to the recipient among
several other presents of the same kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, if
they fall short of that Gifts are by no
and, when combined with the abuses
that are often made to accompany them,
they are demoralizing; they are I'M
pleasant features of what take the form
of duties. and they are dark spots in
social life.
Something is wrong when q present
Is made test of social standing, or
when it is made the prerequisite for
performing social act. There is an
opportunity for reform when what is
apparently a friendly deed is confess
edly empty of honest intent, when it is
burdensome, annoying, compulsory,
false-hearted, or made for show, or evil
dence of wealth, or merely for social
conformity.
The only excuse that one can make
for these abuses of gift-making is that
their compulsory features have the eff
feet of putting people into the habit of
making presents at time when their
friendly feelings have not become
strong enough to prompt the act I'M
aided. With the growth of these feel
ings, the custom gradually gets bet
ter and surer foundation, and stands
more plainly in harmony with civiliza-
ton. A gift should be an embodiment
of sentiment, from which cost should
be totally divorced as an element of
weight, and with which no social COM
pulsion should be linked, except the
compulsion of spontaneous express
sion of feeling. The world is not good
enough for this yet, but some attempt,
if only feeble one, if general enough,
would be a green oasis in the social
desert. Good HouSeEeeDiflq.