The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-06-03
BILL NyE ON ECONOMY.
A Few Philosophical Remarks on
Various Grades OF Barber shops.

Il rehu IN essay rcctntiy ou 1ho III
side of a valued exchange on the sub
lect of economy, which greatly interest
I'd me. 1t related to the great expens-
IS which really aggregated from little
,nes. and dealt with the ma tier of dali
y papers, boot-backs, shaving expens-
IS, baths. &c, and showed how millions
If the peoples money were annually
iquandercd in this way that ought to
20 toward buying books. The article set
me to thinking and | resolved to inves-
tigate it. was more especially taken
with the idea Of extravagances in the
matter of BARRIERS and barber-shops.
You can 60 to gorgeous shop and
pay Is cents and tip for shave, or
you can 60 where you may avoid the
tip, or you can 60 to 10-cent shop, or
you can get shaved on the bowery for
five cents. or you can ignore the whole
business and let the wind blow through
your whiskers.
Now let us enter the seductive and
fragrant field of statistics for a moment
and see how we may economize. If
we shave every day and tip the barber
at lucent shop, where we are dealt
with in gentle and soothing way by
talented men, we can readily see that
it is no great trick to invest S75 TO 500
per year.
If we lower our standard and get
plain lucent shave, with no funny
business, we can put the bill at say
$50, and we will get just as good
shave, though of course young man
with clnging nature, one who pines
to be fondled by some one all the time,
would miss the caress which tip gen
orally calls forth. This little sketch is
not for him. If no one else ever speaks
a kind word to him or pats his Adams
apple with powder puff in playful,
bantering way, l do not chdc him for
tipping barber over and over if he
wants to in order to secure these at
tentions from one of his own sex.
Carrying the matter still further, we
find that by going down on the Bowery
we can get good, clean shave for five
cents, with bay rum and cocoaine.
This will cost SIS year. Or we can
allow our boards to grow wild and
woolly with fragments of cracker and
autumn leaves in them, at a very tri-
fling expense.
Last week was thunderstruck when
l found how much could be saved by
changing from lucent barber to n
scent barber and keeping it up for a
year. Counting 800 days as fair es-
innate Of the number on which / would
be apt to shave, 1 found that by this
change could have at the end of the
year $50, with which to buy books or
cross-barred trousers, or any other
means of intellectual Improvement
which l might choose. / could buy
one of those expensive books that Mr..
De Lux occasionally gets out, or l
could hear Patti, or buy small yet
dog for $50. could also buy
myself more hair or get my teeth filed.
| could take a classical course on the
banjo, or buy an inter est in a bird dog
with $50.
But | wanted, more than anything
else, to get more books. | wanted a
new photograph album most of all.
An album with illustration in it, to lay
on the parlor table and explain to
strangers in low, passionate tones, is a
never-ending source of pleasure to the
mind. With a frontis-piece
showing the proprietor as he looked
with side-whiskers. and, later on. a
view where he had himself photograph
ed with chin-whiskers and holding a
wartime plug hat in his swollen hands;
with picture of grandmother holding
a Bible as though it might be glass
bomb, and front view of a sightless
child that makes up for its total alb
sence of eyes by introducing a soul
stirring mouth that would make a COL
ball Of North Carolina but
Ter turn white in single night With
all these little specimens of plastic art,
| often think that photograph album
will do moro towards entertaining
mixed company than any other literary
work with which / am familiar.
So went into a low-price barber
shop a week ago and began to save
$50 for the purpose Of adding TO my Il.