The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-01-22
MuooINs' ADVENTURES.
Most Extraordinary Tales which Contaia-
cd One IndlapntabIe Blt of Truth.

Most Extraordinary Tales witch Contain.
ed One Indisputabie BIt OF Truth.
It is singular the hallucinations that
will get possession Of n man when he
has been drinking little too much.
Now there is Muggins, a temperate and
| truthful man rs rule, but when hn is
a little "off''-for he gets that way
once in awhilc--he tells the most extra
ordinary tales Of his adventures by
land and sea-purc fabrications, all Of
them. He imagines that he has been
everywhere, met everybody and seen
every thing, when the fact Is that be
was 3orn and raised in the village
where he resides and was never more
than twenty miles away from home in
all his life. He has travelled sin his
mind" altogether. He quite believes
all that he is relating while the esprit"
is on, but mournfully repudiates it all
the next morning.
"Then you wasn't on four years.
whaling voyage when n boyp" said u
man to whom he acknowledged that his
tales of the night before were all made
out of whole cloth.
"Whale nothin'," said Muggins,
gloomily. II don't see why heed to
tell that pesky lie every time get full.
The only experience I had in whaling
was when dad whaled me-
"You said you went before the mast. "
ut was lie; the mast went before
me, long enough"
"Never heard q more entertaining
story in my life." continued the man,
'than You gave me of going around
the Horn"
"Wcll, 1 didn't go around any horn
while was telling it, did IP"
"You said terrible storm came up
every body just frightened to death ex-
cept yourself. The captain told you to
take the helm"
'Did state where he wanted mo to
take it TOP" said Muggins with bitter
| sarcasm.
"The thunder rolled, the lightning
| flashed"
''In the pam"
"And there stood the Horn, perfectly
erect and over one thousand feet high.
But you got around it."
"You bet did, l would get around
any thing with quart of beer in me.
But it's n lie, every word of it. Never
even saw the sea-"
"Oh, but the whales you used to catch
You welded the liveliest harpoon in the
business.
"rve hung my harpoon the will.
low,'" sighed Muggins.
"'ButI say, Muggins," continued his
tormetor, "there isn't any doubt but
that you fought in the Mex lean war, is
| therep"
"Never fought nothin', / tell you,"
said Muggins, pressing his hands to his
throbbing temples.
"What! Wasn't you the first man to
wade the Rio Grande, carrying the stars
and stripes high over your headp Didn't
you capture Santa Anna single handed,
receiving the thanks of General Taylor
as you led your prisoner into camp by
the coat collarp You said SO, you
knowr'
II suppose did," groaned Muggins.
''What fool man will make of him.
self when the wine is in and-and his
wife is outr'
"Well, Mr. Muggins," said the man,
81 begin to doubt some of the other
statements that you made to me last
night. l seriously question whether you
gave Morse his ideas about the mag.
netic telegraph, or invented the tele'
phone, or suggested the liberty statue
to Bartholdi, or knew Columbus in the
old country, or went up in the first bal.
loon, or was drunk"
"Hold on!'' cried Muggins; "if said
Twas drunk there was one bit of truth
that told last night. Let's shake or
that"
So they shook-each other, and part
ed.-1eras SJtings.