The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1887-04-15
miscellaneous.
THE DEACON'S DINNER.
BY HELEN FOSTER GBAvEs.

The good housewives of the neighborhood
often said that Mrs. Smart ought to he the
happiest woman in the world.
such nice house she lives in y said
Mrs. Brice, who, poor soul, taught the dis.
trct school, and "boarded around" like the
scape goat in the Scripture wilderness.
such pious man as the dear deacon
is !! added Mrs. HOPKINS, whose better hall
had once been sea captain, and who was
still apt to be profane by fitsan starts, when
the cattle got into the clover field, and the
midnight weasel maraudcd on his hen cOops
and turkey rOosts.
"With a store carpet on the best room
floor" put in Mrs. Jones, "and n weekly
newspaper, ard white sugar in her tea every
day of her life, and horse and wagon to take
her to meelin' SunGaysw
Such was the opinion of society as repre-
sented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps Mrs. Dea-
con Smart was a happy woman. But we
are told on the very best authority, that
"That cart knoweth its own bitterness"
Mrs. Smart was washing up her best china,
one morning, preparatory TO giving grand
tea party, and her cousin, Ella Dale, was
helping her, when the deacon pat his shin
ing bald head in at the door.
My dear" he said, "heres paper of pins
for you"
Mrs. Smart nearly dropped gilt edged
saucer in her CONSERVATION.
More pins w she said.
"Yes, my dear" said the deacon, unciu-
ously. "Plns are always useful"
ooh, yes, pins" said Mrs. Smart, giving
her glass towel a toss as she wiped the last
globule of moisture from goblet. "But not
rows of rusty wire | do say for it, Ebene-
Zer-"
"Pm going to Glen Depot, my dear" the
deacon somewhat hurriedly interrupted, at
this juncture; land perhaps l shant be
home till one o'clock"
He withdrew, and Mrs. Smart turned to
Ella Dale with half laugh.
"There, my dear" said she, throwing down
the faded green roll of pin paper on the
dresser" there, you behold the secret of
my domestic unEappincss-the skeleton in my
closet r.
Ella opened her round, hazel eyes very
wide.
81 can't think what you mean, Juliana,"
she said. You unhappy and the dear dea-
con such truly good mani"
THAT'S the trouble" said Mrs. Smart I;
che is too good"
"But l don't hardly see how that can
be possible" protested Ella, more perplexed
than ever.
"And it's all at my expense" said Mrs.
Smart, dolefully. "Do you see the paper of
pns?"
"Why, of course see it," said Ella.
"Well Mr.. Smart has bought that paper of
pins of a peddler al the door" said Mrs. Smart.
"Peddlers always come here. This house is
a Mecca to the race of peddlers. They know
that Mr.. Smart always buys of thcm-he's
too good hearted to say no; or, ralher-let
us speak the truth, and shame him who shall
be nameess between us-he is really too in
dolent TO resist their opportunities"
Ella burst out laughing.
"But what an insignificant little trial r.
she said.
ooh. yes, dare say |" said Mrs. Smart
"The sting of hornet isn't SO very terrible
in itself, but when whole swarm Is let loose
upon you what then ?"
"a whole swarm?" repeated innocent
Ella.
my DEAR" said Mrs Smart, lowering her
voice to confidential whisper, upstairs in
my bedroom closet, have eighteen papers
of just such pins-utterly useless for anything
but to bend themselves up double when you
try to put them through asiDge thickness of
calico, and to depriveyou ofyGur temper just
when you need it most six cards OF porce-
lain buttons, an article which | never use !;
nine packages ofstove backing; thirteen bot
ties Of machine oilj five papers of rusty nee
dies dozen pairs of shoe strings, anu eight
rolls of tape. which is an insult to ones com.
mon sense Ii could reconcile il to my
conscience, I'd fling the whole collection into
the fire; but was brought up to economic.
What do you Think Ella, would it be a sin
to annihiate all these pitfalls to my equani-
NIFTY"
Its rather hard problem" said Ella,
soberly.
"And with all this" said Mrs. Smart, wax
ing vehement as she went on, "Ebenezer is
unwilling to give me money to buy decent
darning needles and respectable tape. He
wonders why can't make my dresses last
little longer, and thinks l am extravagant in
wanting a new feather for my old velvet bon
net. He says | use too many Taisins and
spices, and asks me why can't raise poultry
and have eggs to exchange for groceries at
the village store. And yet-oh, the incon-
sisency Of men-he expects me to give a
bowl of coffee and a sandwich to say moth
ing OF wedges of apple pie, and three-corner-
ed bits OF cake, to every able.bodied tramp
and stout peddler woman who happens to
come along
doesn't he make any allowances for 1t in
the housekeeping money ?" asked Ella.
Not he Just look herer' Mrs Smart
opened the drawer of the kitchen table,
This is where / keep the housekeeping
money-which he gives me every week-and
he came here twice this morning-once 10
get quarter for lame beggar, and again to
get ten pennies for that same outrageous
paper of pins !"
And she cast baleful glance at the article,
which still lay on the dresser.
"This is piracy" said Ella, judicially.
otis highway robberyW declared Mrs.
Smart. "And there comes the butchers cart,
and | haven't money enough left from my
weeks allowance to buy single steak, and
here it is only Wednesday,"
Cant you buy on credit?"
Never" said Mrs. Smart, with spirit
"Its a thing never have done, and l never
will dow
Elias hazel eyes sparkled, as she shook her
head vehemently at the butcher, who was
just checking his old horse at the door.
Nothing to-day" she said.
Mrs. Smart dashed away u tear.
Give me some of that shelled corn, Ella"
she said. 81 suppose can catch chicken
for dinner"
NJ nc tla