The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-11-02
THE COIN OF SOCIETY.
A Comprehensive Definition Of tho Mystery
OF Good breeding.

|
Subtle, fragrant, indescribablc, but
all-pervading is that lovely thing we
cali good breeding. AS subtle and rs
but by no means trag-
rant, is it's ungainly opposite. heenly
conscious Of the absence of the former
but unable to exactly specify and de-
finc when present, we know and feel,
but can not analyze nor tabulate-saye
in cases Of exceptional sweetness and
refinement, when we can touch the ex'
action and repeat the commanding
word which governed all. So with ill
breeding. We can scarcely say where
it was unless the demeanor was as deep
us n well and as wide rs church door;
but there it was, and we felt and knew
whether we were able to define it or
not. No one can describe discord nor
harmony. SO with the mystery OF good
brceding-the subtle harmony and
passing flavor of true politcness. 1t is
heard in an intonation-an infection
in the choice of one word over another
seemingly its twin, but with just that
difference of application, rather than
meaning, which creates the es-
sence of good breeding. Tho !
almost microscopic recognition of
a stranger-the specialized attention
of an unobtrusive kinds its evidence;
the careless neglect of an apparently
insignificant form is its dcath-warrant.
10 be the only stranger in room full
of int;mates aud to be unintroduced and
| neglected is an act of ill-brcedlnS
specially Britannia. If by chance one
| more kind hearted to begin with, and
more polished vs. friction to go on with,
takes pity on the poor social wait asd
stray. and offers any attention or reels
off the thread Of n conversation, that
/, person has this marvellous charm We
call good breeding, in which all the rest
have been deficient. When you enter
room and are presented to the hostess
her reception of you proves her good
breeding or her bad. The way her chill
,lren meet you-the way in which. at
any age beyond the mefesr babyhood
; they speak and hold themselves SO
eloquent of their gentle training or un-
: gentle as is a correct accent or y pro-
yincial. No idiosyncrasy mars the real
! essence Of good breeding. and all the
excuses made for lapsas aud LESSONS are
futile. A wcll-bred person may be as
shy rs hawk aud her limbs may be rs
awkwardly hung together as so many
crooked sticks badly pinned All the
same her good breeding will be evident,
:. and neither her shyness nor her awk,
4 warlncss will tell against it. Though
it costs her the well-known
/, agonies to sustain q connected
t conversation, and though by the
c very fact of her shyness her brain will
= run dry, she will sustain it with the
most consummate politeness, if not al
ways with the most fawless huency.
She will put a restraint on herself and
e talk her best, bad rs that best may be,
t beca,t, SO she Is versed in the art and mys
terry of good breeding, and thinks OF
: others rather than herself. Bat IN ILL
s bred person. if shy, is simply boorisll,
: and makes no trouble to conquer thu
dumb demon within him, bat gives way
i to it and lets it conquer him at its
: pleasure. You feel that the c1cus
9 made for him-or hcr-by those who
: want to smooth over aspcrities will
o yarnish--that excuse Of being SC
a ..dreadfully shy" is no excuse at all
For you know by experience how swec
s. and anxious to be supple and at case
= for all the pain it costs her-can bc thai
70 we'll bred bundle of nerves and fears
+. who is as timid us hare and as sensi
8. tive rs d ti1in1osa, but also who is u
l. thoughtful for others as the boor is die
regarding.
10 Good breeding is tho current coin o
m society. H. who is bankrupt thcre
l. ought not to take rank with the res
lie Tho defaulting Lombard had his benc
a broken in full coilclave, andwas chase
- out of the street whore his better Ell
lowed brethren carried on their bus
,e ness. What the old money-cllangel
a. and money-lenders did with their Dc
IN faulting members society ought to d
,e 10 the ill-bred-to the people who OF
N pose all you say for the mere sake 9
M opp sing you, and not for any thin
at approaching to principle; who contrs
es diet you fatty, and do not apologi1
when they are proved in the wron'
" who tell you home truths OF a hlloi
ID complexion and vinegar aspect; wi
at repcatill-natured remarks made infhc
Oh presence. or repeated to them. maxim
r. you feel that You are s;oraed an
he lespisea YOU know not why, and vilitia
an without the chance given you OF Sc!
he justification; who abuse your know
:. friends, and ascribe to them all the Sill
Of the Dacaloguc; who brutally atta'
yoar known principles in re'igio
morals. politics; who sheer at yo
de cherished supcrstitions and fall foul
is your confessed weaknesses; who tn
IN, the upper hand Of you generally, n
lei counting your susceptibilities as wor
at the traditional button. Such people
he these-and there are many OF tn
ng incorporating as ladies' and gentlem
lis Of good position and irreproaeha'
.si. crelentials-but no matter wlla! til