davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
The Presidents Choice OF Pets.

Daniel, remarked the president, gloom.
lily. as he sat at his desk.
Yes, SIRE" responded Daniel.
II am in trouble"
What is it, sire?" asked Daniel, anx.
iously. rs it the Indiana Democrats
monkeying with the Hill boom. or the Mat
thews appointment or civil service reform,
or what2"
Nothing OF that kind, Daniel 1t is
nearer home"
You amaze me, sire" exclaimed the
worthy Daniel
YES, Daniel, it is MY own family-it is
my household pets; aud | was thinking,
Daniel, OF the monkey Nad the canary
bird. and how nice it was for the golden
feathered sonsster to sit singing in his
cage all day and dreaming music all night.
instead OF crawling into bed with a man.
defenseless in his sleep, and scratching him
so that it would require an expert to decide
whether he was "A war map or a crazy quilt
You never tried to run monkey orphan
asylum under your own roof, did you,
Daniel?"
mo, sire"
Then, Daniel, confine yourself to canary
birds, and the president resumed his ar
duous labor hicago News.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Dunder'S Observations.

Der gravestone vhas a newspaper
dot nobody sues for libel. 1t neafer
gifts anybody AWAY.
1t vhas saidt dot we all live too fast,
but we all know some men who vhas
TOO SHOW aboudt dying.
If vhas tramp | should preach
dot charity vhas browning virtue. Der
more charity der less hat to work.
lose more as one hundred friends in
ten years by refusing to lend money
mitout security. Der man who likes
to beat you vhas VERY sensitive aboudt
his commercial honesty.
Der schmell observer gas in house
vhas looked after a great deal closer
dan der morals of der shldren.
We doan' like to hurt our neighbors'
feelings, but if we hear some gossip
aboudt EN- we somehow manage to let
'em know it.
Der man who complains all der time
dat der world won't gif him schance
takes pretty good care not to work
oafer three days i'm der week.
More men labor nit me to shange my
vote dan to save my soul. Der voter
who vhas deadt vhas no good to polit-
ical parties.
Shurch members should took motifs
dot der peoples shudge of a mans re-
ligion by der vhay he trades horses und
pays his debts.
1t vhas shust as easy as rolling off a
log TO say how our neighbors should
do, und it vhas shust as easy to OK
plain how we came to be perfect.
Der Golden Rule vhas all right when
you read him in book, but when You
put him in practice on der shtreet you
vhas run in by 4 policeman as a crank.
If der vhas no wood-piles or buck
saws or axes in dis worldt den il vhas
right dot der worldt owes somebody a
living while he sits on der fence.
1t vhas good to spheak der truth al
ways, but der man who sets oudt to
practice it vhas sooch fool dot he goes
TO der asylum. A mixtur of truth and
falsehood cures most of der ills of life.
Der man who makes der greatest
show OF obeying der law has der least
cause to break it.
doan' like der man who vhas too
much my friendt. He finds out nv |
badt points. und doan' ike me any |
more.-DetrOn Free Press.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Rich Mems Sons

Not only should the children O,
wealthy parents receive the most lib.
eral education that The country affords,
but ey should be expected to make a
good use of it in after life. As pro.
fessional men. with complete immr-
nifty from the cares incident to power
ty, they should deepen and Widen the
tracks that Others are prone to follow,
and institute systematic reforms. As
men of state, far removed from par
tisan strife. they should draw their
principles direct from history and
science, and lay the foundations of al
ideal government. As men of letters
they could afford to be content with
nothing less than the best, whet er in
the manner or the matter of their
work. As men of science, not obliged
to make their Investigations yield
them pecuniary return, they, of all
others. should devote themselves to the
pursuit of truth for its own sake. which,
paradoxical as it may sound, has
always proved the most important and
really practical of all human labor.
Now, what the modern age demands
of those who possess wealth is that
they employ it in the proper direction
of their activities. No right-minded
artisan begrudges the millionaire his
millions. The manufa cturer, the mer-
chant, and even the railroad king are
stirring. industrious men. They or.
ganize the production, exchange, and
distribution of wealth, and are essen
tial to society. So of other industrial
operations. Concentrated capital is
indispensable to their prosecution on an
adequate scale. And those on whom
devolves the duty of conducting these
industries, and who accept and perform
this duty as responsible citizens, are
not envied or denounced by sober
minded people. however widely their
lots may differ. But honest and in
dustrious people. those who with hand
or brain labor for society, create its
wealth, and effect its proper distribu-
tion-all. in fact. who really work
have right to complain that SO mnch
OF their creation has fallen into the
hands OF idle persons who despise every
form of labor. even the ennobling pur
suit OF science, art and authorship.
They do not ask them to take I'D the
blacksmith's sledge, the carpe nter's
hammer, or the mason's trowel. They
even prefer that they devote them
selves to higher and really more useful
labors-labors which their leisure,
means and independence peculiarly fit
them to perform thoroughly and well.
- The Forum.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Fattenfnp Swine.

We presume that every wide-awake
farmer has been pushing his swine for
fattening to the utmost during the
warm weather, as the cold weather will
make them shrink unless you have the
best OF proper shelter prepared where
they can not SILVER in the snow or
wind. See that your shelter is divided
into apartments where only six or eight
hogs can pile together, as by this
means they kill each other and come
out steam ng hot to catch hold and Law
the foundation for disease. This is one
great cause of want of thrift So divide
your feed that they ali may get their
proper share. Never throw corn down
in pile for hogs to eat or allow it to
be done. II cold and windy. select
sheltered spot in which to feed at that
particular time, and at warm hour of
the day feed slop or water and see that
all get their share. Give your hogs
fresh beds at least once week; an &C.
casional feed of bright hay or sorghum.
and keep before them accessible at all
times the following mixture: Salt
wood ashes. charcoal, sulphur, saltpe-
ter and copperas.
One peck of ashes to pint of salt.
Two pounds of copperas to two ounces
OF salt-petre. one pound of sulphur to
q peck of charcoal, mixed thoroughly,
aud eighty hungry hogs will not leave
a morsel In twenty-four hours, so satis-
factory Is it to them and such is their
want and need of it. If they cough,
feed ten drops of carbolic acid in pint
OF sweet milk to 200 pound hog in the
morning. and one teaspoonful of sui
phurous acid at night, and you can stop
all sneezing and coughing, and you
can thus put your hogs in good health.
Borrow money. hold your hogs until
after taxes are paid, and the first time
they come up sell and pay your debts,
and we believe you will run no risk
rom cholera and make money. The
great secret of success is, feed and
water regularly in amount and man.
ner. and keep your hogs healthy
Kansas tity Lire Stock Record.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
FARM AND GARDEN.
Seeding the Grass In Early Spring.

Seeding the Grass In Early Spring
Some farmers SOW their grass SEED
on the snow. trusting to the even dis.
fribution thereof by the downward
tendency of water, and the use of the
farm roller for covering after the frost
has finished upheaving the soil. but IL
is doubtful # the practice of sowing
clover and other grass seeds 50 early in
the season is the proper mode. AL
though such seeds do not easily loose
vitality, yet there is damage done by
the cold, and The hungry birds do not
miss the opportunity TO take their
share, while the proper "catch" large
ly depends upon the condition of the
soil.
1t has been demonstrated that when
the harrow is used over the growing
wheat early in the spring the result is
beneficial, and it is when the wheat is
narrowed that the grass is to follw Il
grain crop. 1t is important that the
seeds be covered, and if the field oe
narrowed there will be less loss of seed.
and the greater chances for a good
stand. As an application of nitrate of
soda on wheat in the spring pushes it
forward very raridly it soon reaches
sufficient height to shield the young clo-
yer from the extreme heat of the sun,
while tie clover will at the same time
make sufficient growth better to endure
tho warm weather. The harrow may
also be usefully employed to mix the
fertilizer with the soil at the same
time.
The ground upon which the seed is to
be sOwn deserves more attention than
The grain crop, the grass seed or the
mode of cultivation. for if the grass
crop be intended as n permanent
pasturage it must not be overlooked
that weeds will spring up to compete
with the grass, and for that reason the
ground must be very clean. IL is best,
therefore, that the wheat to be grown
be on land that was previously in corn.
as the extra cultivation required for
corn better prepares the land not only
for wheat but for the grass which is to
follow. II after the corn crop is of.
the land be put in rye, which may be
plowed under in the spring and millet
or buckwheat sowu and plowed under
when green. and wheat sown in the fall |
following, the ground should be in a
very clean condition and fitted for any
op-Philadeiphia Record.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
For Good Purposes.

Mrs. NJ. A. Dauphin of Philadelphia, is
well known to the ladies OF that city
Rom the great good she has done By means
oi Lydia L. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. She writes Mrs. Pinkham OF a re-
cent interesting case. "A young married
lady came to me suffering with severe case
oil Prolapsus and liberation. She com
menced taking the Compound and in two
months was fully restored: In proof Of this
she soon found herself in an interesting con-
ditlon. Influenced by foolish friends she at
tempted to evade the responsibilities OF ma
turity. After ten or twelve days she came
To me again and she was indeed in a most
alarming state and suffered terribly. gave
her a tablespoonful OF the compound every
nour Tor eight hours until she fell asleep,
she awoke much relieved and evidently bet
ter. She continued taking the Compound
ana IN due season she became the mother
oil a fine healthy boy. But for the timely
use OF the medicine she believes her life
would have been lost
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
BETTER THAN a GOLD MINE
Three Hundred Per Cent, Frcfit I'm n
Glass Of Beer.

A literary beer-sellcr in Chambers
street, not a mile from the fire-houses,
insisted on treating two friends yester-
day. They protested that in giving
them free lunch of bean soup he had
done enough TO maintain his charac-
ter as host. But he pers sted.
''Frll these ponies. John" said he,
adding Now. those three little glasses
that l give away land one OF them,
you observe, is going to MYSELF don't
strain my generosity very hard. Let
me prove that a saloon-keeper can af-
ford to treat. Lager beer costs me 8
cents quart without froth. These
three little Q lasses hold each about one
eighth of Il quart, mainly froth, so that
tbs treat costs me three-eighths of 9
| cents. or , $1,000 cents.
This beer-seller has previously sold
those customers three ponies apiece,
or six ponies of the same size, costing
him II! cents, for 80 cents. and ci-
gar for 10 cents, which he bought for
4 cents, or $40 a thousand Profits
such as these account for the fact that
when the average pugiliSt wins fight,
or newsboy jumps from the Brooklyn
bridge. or negro minstrel manages TO
save $1,000, each at once establishes a
saloon.
There used TO be a caterer who rent
ed the bar privileges on certain Coney
island boats. and he let new light OIL
the subject in conversation with a rs-
porter. Said he: Il pay 81 for Uiertel,
or quarter barrel of lager, and it holds
about ninety glasses of beer. or the
equal of 81 so to me at cents a glass.
Thta would be a profit of only 81 So
or l25 per cent, which with the ex-
penses deducted would not be enough.
Therefore my orders to the bartenders
on each boat are that they must get $50
glasses out of each key. and turn in
81 90 to NE. You notice that / do not
speak of anything more than the ex-
penses. l say nothing of knocking
down by the bartenders. After they
turn in what want they can knock
down as much as they please. Get
$50 glasses out of each UierteP / say,
or you can't work for me- l don't |
care if they squeeze two hundred glass
out of a key"
Such glasses as were sold over his |
bars were more than half froth, and |
were obtained by holding the beer
glasses as far below the faucet as posi-
BILE. This practice is what has given
rise to the expression "a Coney Island
glass of beer"
In the old days, when substitutes for
malt and hops and the original winter
processes of beer-making were first
crudely established,i it was always reck-
oned that beer brewers profit was 81
on each barrel he turned out. Since
then the adulteration, or rather the
complete revolution in beer brewing
processes and ingredients, has greatly
lessened the cost of production; but, on
the other hand, intense competition
and the spending of large sums in
treating. in snowy signs, and in secret
rebates to large customers has prevent
ed the increase of the profits. They
still remain at 81 barrel, or little
more than Sc 100000 in New York,
Newark. and Brooklyn. divided among
eighty brewers. York Sun.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
That Fellow Cutting,

This fellow Cutting, from what could
mud out about him there had only capacity
To half bury himself in the sands Of the Rio
Grande on the Mexican sile. and then veil
and yell for the great American earle TO
come over and scratch him out. At least
this is the best report that the town claim.
ing the honor Of his unsteady presence has
to make OF Mr.. Cutting at present. "a
small liar and piteous, whining coward.
this il the would-be hero or the city Of Fl
Paso on the Rio Grande del Nurte, " said a
big-mouthed man TO me. But he j. uui,,
and sober now, il he nOt2' Task OF the li,
red mouth as it rolls long Mexican ci.ar
halfway down a deep throat. sober aud
quiet cause nobody VIII Get EN- up."-
Miller in Chicago Herald.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Lung Troubles and Wasting

Diseases can be cured, II properly treated in
time, as shown by the following statement
from ID. c. FREEMAN, Sydney: Having
been great sufferer from pulmonary at
tacks, and gradually wasting away for the
past two years, it affords me pleasure to
testify that Scett's Emulsion of Cod
Liver Oil with Lime and Soda has given me
treat relief. and | cheerfufly recommend il
to all suffering in similar way to myself.
In addition l would say that it is very
pleasant to take"
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
The Rudy River.

Of life is the blood. From it the system re.
ceives all its material OF growth and repair
it battles every tissue OF the body. How
necessary. then. that the blood should be
sept pure and rich. DR.. Pieree's 'Goldeu
Medical Discovery" is the great blood food
and blood purifier. 1t is SO vereign remedy
ior all diseases due to unprecedented bio Cd
consumption; bronchitis, weak lungs scr6.
ula, influenza, and kindred diseases.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

PRIcKLY ASH BrTTEEs is an unfa ling cure
for all diseases originating in hillary de-
ran:ements caused 10y the malarI. OF MAS
matte countries. No other medicine now
on sale will 40 eiiectually remove the dis
turbing elements. and at the SO me time
tone up the whole system. 1t is sure and
sale in its action
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

There is no reason why you should not
make large sums OF money II you are able
to work. All you need is the right kind of
employment or business. Write to Hal
lett ~ Co., Portland, Maine, and they will
send you, free, full information about
work that you can do and live at home,
wherever you are located, earning thereby
from 50 to $50 per day and upwards
Capital not required; you are started free
Either sex; all ages. Better not delay.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Valor and Discretion.

Ii is quite remarkable to see the
large number of intrepid gentlemen
who have challenged John L. Sullivan S
broken wrist. When it heals they will
likely have pressing engagements
which viii prevent them from meeting
him. - albany argus.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

DIR. Gross physician at st. Nincent's
Hospital, Baltimore. Nd, considers Red
Starr Cough Cure perfectly harmless,
being purely vegetable and entirely free
from opiateS poisons, and other marco
tics. Other professionals also endorse
it as prompt, safe and sure. Price.
twenty-five cents a bottle.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Mr.. THOMPSON introduced a measure in
the house looking to the adoption OF uni.
form text books for public schools, and for
the state to buy books and furnish them
free OF charge or at cost. The measure was
opposed and referred.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

the very heavy canes which the young
men are now carrying accounts for SO
many Of them being round-sohuldered in
the BRAIN
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
The strongest Man in Ohio.

$ said to be George c. Arnold oiCieveIand,
D.. who less than one year ago, owing to
,hrunic liver trouble and Bright's disease
of the kidneys, weighed less than ninety
i've pounds, but by using DR.. Harter's Iron
Tonic has gained in strength and weight
until new lie is admitted to be the giant of
Ohio.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
The Old and the New.

The old-styIe pills! Who does not know
What agony they caused-what woe?
You walked the floor, you groaned, you
sighed
And felt such awful pain inside.
And the next day you ielt 50 weak
You didn't want to move or speak.
Now Phi, r e's Pellets are SO mild
They are not dreaded by child.
They co their work IN painhss way,
And leave no weakness for next day.
Thus proving what is oft contest
That gentle means are always best.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

II see n star Ewes first born in whose
train" Comes the damp twilight that bring
eth pain. For aches oIhead, neuralgia, cut
and bruise, Try Salvation OIL these vii!
you lose.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

When Baby WAS sick, We gave her Castoria
When she was Child, she cried for CastoriA
When she became Miss, she cluns to CastoriA.
When abe had Children, she gave them CasteriA
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Sudden Changes of Weather are produc-
tive OF Throat Diseases, Coughs Colds, etc.
There is no more effectual relief in these di-
seases to be found than in the use OF
Browns BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

The girls of Peru are said to have formed
toboggan club, the members ofwhich slide
down hill on barrel slaves
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Will not soil the clothing nor stain the
skin. Halls Hair Renewer. Try it.
Ayers Pills cured me OF stomach and
liver troubles. ID. w. Baine New Berne,
Nc.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

One hundred and twenty large rattle
snakes were killed in stone quarry near
Mount Vernon by explosions OF blasting
powder.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

CABLES HEIssE, a Planfield lad, while
riding a horse out of a stable struck his
head against a beam and peeled off his
scalp.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

The men who take the front seats at the
theatres are the ones who take the back
'eats in church. Strange isn't it,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

"There may be some virtue. in all OF
them" ne said, "b"t for actual worth and
Eapidity OF effect, i know that moth
ng made can excel Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup"
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

There is said to be only one female from
bone player in the country. Let US return
thanks.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
Neat But Natty.

The Memphis Avalanche rays: Speaking
OF money reminds me OF the funny banking
system they have in Bolivia. Counterfeit
money is as current as good money and
passes just as well. At the hotel in La PEG
could hear the workings OF a counterfeit
press next my own. A former American
consul in one OF the BoliN ian cities sold his
press to my English companion. Another
OF our diplomatic corps in Bolivia had 100
kegs OF nails sent him from New York
There were few nails laid in the top and
bottoms OF the kegs, but the main contents
were counterfeit silver pieces. The consul
was not at home when the kegs arrived at
his warehouse. A brother-in-law OF presi-
dent DOza OF the Bolivian republic wanted
some nails about this time and the con.
suPs secretary sold him dozen kegs. An
exposure was prevented by the consul 60
ing halves with the brother-in-law on the
counterfeit money.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Tennessee has raised nearly 81 900, 900
worth OF peanuts this year for blamed
IDIOTS TO MUNICH in the theatres.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05
No Shotgun Practice

lie laughs best who does not laugh at the
wrong place in the opera.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Baron TeHnyson's only remaining claim
to be ranked as a poet is based upon the
the fact that he still smokes a clay pipe.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

WATER is so scarce in Bureau county that
cattle in many neighborhoods airs suffering
seN erely for the lack OF it,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

The magical effects Of st. Jacobs on
In removing soreness and stiffness
makes 1t invaluable at all times. Rheu-
'natism and Neuralgia promptly yield
I, it,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Pain from Indigestion, dyspepsia and to-
hearty eating is relieved at once by taking
one OF Carters Little Liver Pills immedi-
ately after dinner. Don't forget this.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

IT Is odd that the wages of sin remain
Just the same as they we're when the hours
we're shorter."--zfta California.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Is Washington City the gable end Of tn q
United States a-Pasbsrga Chronicle Tels-
grapt.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Generosity doesn't develop in som men
until they have chance to dispense other
yeople's money.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

, WHEI getting your boot shoe Strengthened use
1y91 Heel Sneners; they save money, give comfort
and Keep them straight.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

1t is beEinning to look as il man cam
not be distinctively great until he's had an
attack OF rheumatism
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

LINCOLN HALL, OF Argenta. is unler ar
rest at Lonoke for selling liquor without
license,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

Bronchitis is cured by frequent small
doses OF Pisos Cure for Consumption.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1887-03-05

The principal stock raised by stock
brokers are lambs"