Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-03-02

they draw cuts, and whoever got the short
est straw must do the cooking. The first
man who should complain of the grub
would have to relieve him. This was
agreed to, and they went into camp. The
first meal In camp was dinner. The COOK
had seen his mother cook beans. 1t looked
easy, and he decided to have beans for din:
ner. He put peck in the kettle, chucked
in a big piece of pork and double handful
of salt. In time the men sat down to din
ner. Everybody helped himself. The first
to dish out some beans put a big spoonful in
his mouth. They were smoking hot and
somewhat salt. The fellow spewed the
stuff out with big swear word. "Those
are the doggondest beans l ever ate. Still,
like them-I like them."
Not SHARP ENOUGH FOR CHURCH PEO-
PLE.-It is related of well. known Macon
man that he recently went to Grlmn ma ana
attended church with young lady on Whom
he was very sweet When the contribution
box started out on its rounds the young man
tool: a 1--WE dollar gold piece out of his vest
pocket and displayed it in such way that
the young lady saw it. She mildly rebuked
his extravaganza, but he said he often con-
tributed that much, especially when in
strange churches. Watching his chance he
slipped the gold coin into his pocket and
slyly took out silver quarter which he
slyly dropped into the box when it reached
young lady that her beau was generous and
held the church in high esteem. At the
close of the services, as was the custom OF
the church, the amount in the box was an
nounced. The total was 1915. Griffin has
no charm for the young man now.
s@"say !',y you are looking as if you had
been to funeral ~ he exclaimed, as they
met on Griswold street yesterday.
"Well, it's almost that"
"Any relativedied ?"
"Yes-an aunt"
"Pooh! But may be she was rich ?"
''She was"
"And you were'her pet"
"And she left you $4,000, and you want
the public to think you feel sorry that she's
gone"
"she didn't leave me copper, and want
the public to know just what Pm grieving
over, hang it! Tve borrowed over S3,0OO
on the strength of what didn't get"
"a.
A TREAT.-An old man wearing misfit
suit was hurrying through the slush in Mar
ket street, late yesterday afternoon, when
his feet suddenly flew out from under him:
There was splash, a muffled snort, and
then the man with the misit suit was seen
to rise slowly to his feet.
.'Hurt you much ?" asked sympathetic
witness of the accident.
UNot q btu replied the old man with a
smile. 'In fact, it was a good deal OF
treat. have slipped upon the sidewalks
seventeen times this winter, but this is the
first time have had the good fortune to
strike the snow when it was soft. Just
squeeze the water out of the cOat-tails,
pfease."-PhiladeLphia Call.
can't for q job-"Do you know anything
about figures, Uncle Rastus?''
Uncle Rastus-"Yes, sah."
Merchant-"Well, if were to lend you
five dollars and you promised to pay me
one dollar each month, how much would
you owe me at the expiration of three
months ?"
Uncle Rastus-"Fi' dollars, sah."
Merchant-"I'm afraid you don't know
much about figures"
Uncle RastCs-"No sir, but I specks /
knows all bout Uncle Rastus."
~ An attendant at Mount Vernon, not
long ago, found lady weeping most bitter
ly and audibly, with her handkerchief at
hereyes. He slipped up to her, and said:
"Are you in trouble, madam:
mo, SIR, she sobbed.
"I saw you weeping"
"Ah," said she, show can one help weep
Ganatv Ing at the !, grave of the Father of his
30, indeed, madam" said he, "that's
motif. The tomb's over yonder. This is
the ice-house."
~ A little Virginia darkey named Cyrus
had an older brother, Cassius, who had
spent q winter in Washington in swell So
ciety, and when he returned home he set
himself up as teacher to his less cultured
bmy Gm%s 9ns day at the es sSls s5os saS
mustn't say 'lasses, Cy," corrected Cassius !;
. i''you must say mo-lasses." "Uh" grunted
Cyrus shows I gwine to say mo- lasses
when I hain't had none yet ?"-Critlc.
CoLoRED SARCASM. Afri-
can-"Boss, can't yer gimme dollar as a
present? I hasn't done lick of work in
six months"
Wealthy Gentleman of Leisure-"My
myself, and haven't had for great many
years."
swell, den, boss, we am bofe in de same
fix, and eff heahs OBJ a job of whitewashin',
I'll 60 halvers wild yer, pore white man."
HaS. MISS Etn0l-' cS, luucCu, we SlTlS are
fully alive to the justice of popular criticism
on chattering women, and that is why we
organized our Thought Club"
Mr.. Blank-''Thought Club?"
"Yes; and it is doing US such world of
good"
II don't doubt it,"
"No, indeed. Why at the last meeting
we talked for five whole hours on the ad-
vantages of silent meditation"
~Awell-known minister was sent South
from New Jersey few years ago to labor
among the colored people. They received
him with many demonstrations of JOY, and
at the first meeting which he held one COL
ored preacher prayed for him with great
earnestness thus: 80 Lord! Bless dis yer
dear brudder what's come down from the
Mort to preach de Gospil to us. 'Noint him
with the kerosene Of salvashin, and set him
on fire."
No FRUITLEss ERRANDS FOR HIM.
doctor, I must ask you to renew that pre-
scription for my daughter. She is threat
ened with another attack, and"-
II gave you no prescription, sir. Pm no
doctor of medicine. Pm dentist"
"Oh, you are. Well then, go to my house
and pull couple of teeth for my wife.
I'm hot going to run four or five blocks
for nothing" Philadelphia call.
pF A burglar, who was doing neat job
on q large safe was Mortified, on looking up,
to see man standing beside him. He was
about to retire, when the gentleman said !:
r s.~l~ I'll &l1< soh