The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-10-26
PITH AND POINT.

But some maiden marries groom every day. !:
-TTd-Bits,
The monarch of Greece has fat situa- I
ton, as matter of course.-Pittsb1lrgk s
Chronicle.
Most lawsuits have barbed wire con.
cealed about them for everybody but the :
lawyers.--Detroit Free Press.
The Duke of Connaught has invested 8
the Khedive with the Order of the Bath.
If he is q good khediver he can now take
a header.-San Franci.co Aha.
A chemist announces that wood can. be-;
made very palatable All right Mr.:
Chemist, but please don't give it away to-
our landlady.-W Washington Critic. g
A New York dentist thinks he has hit
the popular taste for good bargains. Het
displays sign: "Come in and get your
tooth pulled for qua. ter. ."-SJtings. 9,
The epicure is light and gay, ..{
And not without reason, - s5.1
For summer months have passed away, q
And oysters are in season. Z
Merchant Traveller. i
Jones (smoking)-"These are some:
thing like cigars, eh, old boy?" Brown
(dubiously) - "Yes-er-something like
'em. What are they2"- Charlestoton
Enterprise.
News comes from Paris that the bustle.
is to be much reduced in size. Thus :.
does Fashions decree cast stumbling
block in the path of female smugglers.
Meu York WorlL. 90 < y
A scientific exchange asks: "What is.
rotary motion?" Why, it is that ex.E.
perienced by drunken man when lying
fiat on his back and clutching the side !,
walk for fear he'll fall off. sis.:5
"Oh, mamma !" exclaimed little Edith,
running into the house nearly out OF
breath, "there's going to be a marriage
deception over to Mrs. Uppum's this 2
evening. ."-Boston Transcript.
When man conveys to you in loud {
tone of voice and the language of slang,
profanity and bad grammar the informa-
ton that he is a gentleman, it is waste
of time to doubt him.-Pscayune. ~
Tassels and silk has the cornstalk tai,
While the wheat beard can claim; g
The broomstalk wears no clothes at all,
But it's business just the same.
Duluth Paragrdpher. -
Next to q red wagon with spring
seat there is nothing so pretty as drum
major who wears a hat made of buffalo
robe and swings a long pole with silver
knob on the end of it.-Lincoln (Ne6.)
Journal.
"Abigair" wants to know what is the
best way to rid room of flies. Go into
the next room and try to read, Abigail;
they'll follow you, every last buzzing,
crawling, tickling beggar of em.-Broak-
lyn Eagle. -
Michigan boasts of the tallest girl in
America. 1t is Anna Mercer, who ls'
twelve years old and sixfeet high. Just
wait until she is twenty-four years old
and twelve feet high. Won't she knock
down the peaches, thought Detroit Free
Press.
No man can safely take flying trip
to Canada nowadays without first calling
his friends about him, exhibiting dia-
gram of his business, turning his pockets
inside out, and showing return ticket
good for only ten days.-SpringfeId
Union. ..-..
A Western paper says that Indians al
ways improve every chance they get to at
tend the circus. We have always under
stood that the noble red man delighted
in a circus, but we had an idea that he
always wanted to be chief Performer
Somerrille Journal.
When you see the item that an old
citizen of ancient Athens could call every
one of the 10000 inhabitants by the
name you can fatter yourself that those
old-timers knew how to lie just as easily
and smoothly as the generation OF TO- DAY.
Detroit Free Press.
A gentleman engaged in the rubber
overshoe business recently remarked that
two qualities of goods are now manu-.
factured-''the bad and the very bad"
The manufacturers, we suspect, retain
the former grade exclusively for their
own private wear.-Syracuse Herald.
"Will YOU be mine." said the ardent youth;
"No. no." the maiden said,
As She looked at him with mockng smile
And pertly tossed her head.
He slipped on her finger sparkling ring,
And drew her to his side;
"Two noes mean yes, you saucy MINK"
Exultingly he cried.
He held her fast; be watched her frown-
Then pout-then blush and stammer,
The dear girl couldn't sland a siege
I'D 1isI,