Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-12-01
COMMODORE AND CATS.
The Elder vanderbilt's Experience With
Midnight Felines and How He
Got Rid of Them.


commodore, as most people know, did
not take very kindly to removing from
| Staten island to New York city when
| his affairs began to prosper, but was
| compelled to do so in order to be near
! his business. He bought house just
in the outskirts of the city, where he
| thought he could be sure of compare
tive quiet He found comfortable
| place close by a graveyard, with not
| many houses about him, and settled
| down.
The first night he spent in the place
was a terrible revelation to him. In
stead of the absolutely quiet surround
| ings of his island home, he had an at
| mosphere vocal with the yells of what
seemed thousand cats. The neigh
borhood must haYe been, he was con-
| vinced. favorite resort for all the
cats in the city. They rendezvoused
| in the graveyard, and focked on his
| back fence, and perched on his she'd
roof, and caterwauled madly all night
long. He slept scarcely five minutes
| at time. The next night the same
performance was repeated, and the
next. Instead of getting used to it,
the commodore was getting more and
more nervous, and slept less and less.
The wear and tear commenced to tell
on him.
Vanderbilt had his boots blackened
every morning by lad who had sta
| toned his box not far away, making
an arrangement with the boy in order
to get the shine reasonably cheap.
One morning he sat down in the boys
1 n baI 1,y nd
so haggard look on his face that the
boy asked smypathetically:
"Wot's de matter, customer"
The commodore, for want of bet
ter confidant, opened his heart to the
bootblack and told him the narrowing
tale of the cats.
"Wot'll yer give me, boss" said the
boy, eff I'll clean out all de cats for
your"
''What'll [ give youP Why, I'll give
you 81 apiece for every cat you xiii in
my yard" said the commodore.
"All right, customer, said the boot
black. ''rll be there tonight"
That night the commodore slept as
he had not slept since he left Staten
island. He awoke in the morning
with the delightful sense of having
slept only about fifteen minutes, and
yet knowing that he had slept soundly
all night. When he went out he found
his bootblack sitting on the front step.
How'd you sleep, bossp' asked the
boy.
''Splendidly, young man, splendid
ly."
Hear any cats?"
''Not cat. How much do [ owe
youP"
Come round in the back yard an
we'll see," said the boy.
They went around to the back yard.
There were two rough-looking young
sters sitting on the fence, and on the
ground was pile of CATS that made
the commodore turn pale.
''For heavens sake, how many cats
have you got thereP" he gasped.
"Well t'row 'em over in anoder pile,
boss" said the bootblack, IAN you kin
score em up"
The boy began to toss the cats over
deliberately, and the commodore
counted until he gotup to fifty. Then
he called out:
Hold on! That'H do. See here: I'll
give you three fellows just So apiece.
That's big pay for nights work.
Cant do it, boss" said the boot
black; 1--WE made de arrangement wild
desc gentlemen here, an de under
standing is 81 apiece for de cats
well, | won't give you but So each
all around said the commodore.
He pulled out the money and shook
it in their faces, but the boys refused
so take it. Finally they withdreW in
silence, leaving the commodore,
aroused and ill-natured, with his cats
They formed resolve to ''get even
with him." and made their plans ac-
cordingly.
That night the commodore had not
been asleep very long before he was
reused by the most unearthly cater
wauling that he had ever heard in his
life. He woke with the impression
that there was stack of cats at the
foot of his bed. Then he fancied they
were at least on the window sill of his
room. But presently he became aware
they were somewhere in the yard near
his window. He could stand it no
longer, and seized loaded pistol that
was in a bureau drawer ard blazed
away, one, two, three shots, at what
seemed to be the center OF the dis
turbance in the yard. Then he heard
cry and groan of anguish from
some human being. He dressed par
TALLY and went out into the yard, and
found there, writhing in pain, the
| policemen on the beat, with ball
from the commodore's revolver in his
leg. He also found large gunny-bag
in which was wrggling, plunging
mass of cats, all of them bowling now
with fury redoubled by the episode
of the shooting. The policeman was
able to explain that he had seen what
seemed to be wild animal of extraor-
binary proportions, which made a
noise like a hundred cats plunging
around on the commodore's lawn and
had come over to investigate. and no
sooner had he discovered that the OBJ
iect was big gunny-bag full of cats,
| and had prepared to release the ami
mails than the commodore had opened
fire on him from the window, with
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