Sturgis advertiser. (Sturgis, Dakota [S.D.]) 1887-1???, 1887-11-30
HIS AUBURN-HAIRED WIFE.
And the Old Story Abou. a White HORSE

And the Old Story About White Horse.
Cincinnati Times-Star: where's
the watch house M friendp" excitedly
asked man with a fearfully scratched
face, of hackman at the government
building this morning.
Jump right in was the business
answer of the driver as he threw open
the hack door. "Take you there
for S."
..No you won't SIR" responded the
man, II kin walk
"What's the matter; somebody
robbed your" commiseratingly asked
the hackman, as he shut the door and
sighed at the loss of job.
"No, SIR" replied the victim as he
mopped out the tiny canals on his
face. "But I'll have her arrested by
Jupiter"
.Whop"- inquired the hackman,
sheen fooling with the old womanf''
M-I--I-hain't married yes
am; what's the use of my lyingp" was
the hesitating reply.
didn't bring up the coal and
kindling I'll betp" cautiously asked the
Jehu who was feeling his way.
..Tain't so, l always did that, and |
never kicked on lighting the fire ex-
cept in real cold weather." was the
mournful response. "And to think
she'd treat me in this way"
"Got no hired grip" asked the
hackman.
"Not any"
s.Well, what was the matterp'
"Captain, did you ever hear any
body say that whenever you see red
headed woman, you'll see a white
horse, toop" softly asked the disfigured
questioner as he looked suspiciously
about him.
"Yes, often; amt it SOP" was the
loud response.
"Sh--h-h! Look out! Some red
headed women might hear you and
well, look at my face" was the warn
ing injunction.
.Oh, ho!'' murmured the driver, 81
seer'
eyes, she's got red hair, Lorena
has, sadly reflected the victim; shut
you know 1 always referred to it as au-
burn"
The hackman winked knowingly and
listened further
"You see, didn't know she heard of
the saying, and this morning after
brcakfast | was thinking of it. just as
l peepcd out of the window saw a
white horse, and, like an Internal fool,
says: "Danged if itain't true!''
"What's true?'. asked Lorena.
30, saw a white horse just now
and
.And what!' says she, kind of hard
like =
.'Oh, nothingr' I says.
'.Peter Stuyvesant Brown, you're a
despicable worm of the earth, she
screeched. You were going to say
you saw red-headed woman, but you
weren't man enough, any more than
you are TO let me 60 around in three
year-old dress when that stuck up Mrs.
Mulkittle has had five in the last year!
".Lorena, my love- says /, Il
".Lorena fddlesticks!' she bawlsd.
You meant it, you red-nosed infidel!
And you taught Johnnie the same
thing, sir. 1 knew it the moment he
yelled out in the street yesterday: ma,
where's the white horsep" what
white horsep" l said like fool.
"Wny pa said that whenever you see
a red-headcd woman you always see a
white horse, and your hair is awful
red.n'
".But, LORNA, dear. l.
".Shut up she beloved, 'and a
couple of hateful men, who were stand
ing on the corner instead of being at
home attending to their suffering wives,
had the lmpudence to laugh in my face.
Mr.. Peter Stuyvesant Brown! Ha!
you villain!'
Il tried to explain to her, but she
busted out into Mysteries and jumped
me. You ought to have seen her claw
and scratch-and bite-whoop! she's
worse bitter than bear"
"What are you going to dop" de-
manded the hackman; 'get her ar
restedp''
"No; I wanted the policeman to 60
and induce her to give me my overcoat
and good hat" explained the clawed
up man.
"Say, you just 60 down here to a
newspaper office and lay your case be-
fore the boss said the hickman, "and
get him to say that Mrs. Peter Stuyves-
ant Brown, wife of, etc., possesses the
finest wealth of auburn hair in Cincin-
natl. Then drop note homo, with an
order for a Sc bonnet in It,"
.tThink that'll fetch herpn obviously
asked P. S. Brown.
"Sure!'' was the reply, as the hack
man winked in the old, old been~there-
myself style.
A Tfihe Too Handy.