The National tribune., 1887-11-17


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''Why, it's the plaguey, dog-goned way they
hevo' takin' in people who think that they re ez
like in their dispositions ez in their faces. You
jest listen to my warnin' now, for it may save
you powerful sight o. trouble some day. Never
make the mistake o. thinkin' that because you
know one twin purity well you can count on
his brother, who's ez like him in appearance ez
two hens aigs, has the same temper an iineral
style. I've 'vestigated this ere matter, an I
am comm to the conclusion that when there's
twins born, the chances is that the qualities in
tended for both ov EN- won't get evenly di-
vided-that one ov 'em will get all the goodness
that both should've had while the other will
get all the badness; one'H get all the industry,
and the other all the laziness, onell have a
double share o pluck an honesty, the other his
own and his brothers portion o. cowardice and
dishonesty.
Now, when was Twin over on Dog Fen
mel Creek young Teller named Romulus Cicero
Arbuckle hired out to teach our Deestrick
School. wasn't stuck on him on sight, for he
was a mild-faced, soft-spoken duck, who'd set
round with book in his hand, or a-talkin' to
the women instid Of enjOyin' hisself in manly
way. argyin' politics or pitchin' hOrse-shOes.
told the other directors he'd never do. The
kind of man we wanted was one that'd jump
out in front of bull, ketch him by the horns
an flop him on his back. You see we had
lot O. young colts from the headwaters o the
creek who had about as much idea Of school as
black bear has of mourners' bench. They
only come to school to court the girls, an if
they could run over the teacher it made them
feel powerful big. Romulus Cicero Arbuckle
d be a reg'ler frolic for them fellers.
The other directors allowed that what / said
might be so; but, all the same, it was gettin
along pretty late in the season, an the law said
we must hire somebody, an ROmulus Cicero
Arbuckle was the only one that had applied,
an was likely to be the only one that would
apply, for so many Of our teachers had gone
away before the end of their terms with their
| corporosities very much out of repair that the
Deestrick had got bad name. So we hired
him, and it turned out jest as / expected. The
very first week the boys found out that Romu-
lus Cicero Arbuckle did not have sand enough
to I'LL Spring chickens craw. He could not
even speak cross, but when they'd cut up their
didos right afore his face, he'd demonstrate
with 'em, and say how much such conduct
panied him. which only encouraged 'em to be
wuss and wuss.
az dropt into the school once or twice durin'
the week, and seen how things was goin'. /
tried to stiffen him up to maintain order, but
blast me if mightn't as well we tried to stiffen
up an empty meal sack. He'd only 'remon-
strate,' an talk about the pain it gave him, and
after schOoPd sit off in a corner by himself,
and look awful miserable.
Saturday I found that the big boys in the
school d had enough of the teacher in one
week, and they'd fxt it up among themselves
that when he opened up on Monday mornin'
they'd just take him down to the creek an
throw him in, and bust up the whole business for
that ere quarter. thought I'd go down Mon
day morning an see the fun. got in there
about half hour before the time for school to
take up, and found Romulus Cicero Arbuekle
settin' copies at his desk. He scarcely spoke
to me- i looked at some of the copies, an the
writin' didn't seem as purity as the speciments
which Romulus Cicero had made when he APP
piled for the place. / happeRed to notice his
hands an they somehow didn't look as soft an
white as when I'd first seen 'em. Then the
scholars came whoopin' an hollerin' in. Rom
illus Cicero didn't pay no 'tention to 'em till
they had all got in, an were crOwdin' and
squabblin' round the stove. Then he got up
picked up a hammer an some nails from his
desk, drove nail in over the latch of the door
an one in over the sash in every winder. j
must remonstrate with the scholars he said
as he laid the hammer back on the desk
'agin so much disorder. 1t gives me great
pain"
90, pollywogs," yelled big Bud Hoskins
who was the bully of the school. well give
you more pain than you kin set hen on"
| GEVith that he Iet