davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
What a Pronoun Did.

DR.. NJ. S. Terry, of the Methods.
Episcopal Church, delights to tell the
story of brother minister who used to
be in the Indiana Conference. He was
most estimable man, but he had an in
durable habit of adding pronoun to the
name OF any person of whom he was
speaking Instead of saying "John
Smith is a great man." he wonld insist
on saying John Smith he is a great
man.
One Sunday he arose and announced
his text: THE devil he goeth about
like roaring lion, seeking whom he
may devour." Looking impressively
over his gold-bowed spectacles, he be
gan.
Brethren and sisters, my subject
naturally divides itself into three heads:
First, Who the devil he is n
The congregation was slightly startled,
but preserved due decorum.
Secondly, my brethren, where the devil
he is going n
An old class leader put his head down,
and stuffed a bandanna in his mouth.
The choir shook, and a little girl in the
gallery Uttered.
Thirdly, my brethren, what the devil he
Is about n
This was too much for the congrega-
ton, and for once there was a peal of
laughter in that church. The quarterly
conference discussed the matter at its
next meeting, but the pastor still
spriDkles his pronouns promiscuously.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
Must Go the whole Elephant

A New Englander, who was a wag, kept
an eating house near Boston. where, as
he used to say, you could get anything
that was ever made to eat. One day in
came a New Yorker, and stepping up to
the bar asked thelandlord what he would
give him for his dinner.
Anything, sir said the host, ''any-
thing fnn . picked elephant to a canary
birds tongue"
"Waal, - said the New Yorker, eying
him, Il guess I'll take piece of picked
elephant"
'Well, we've got 'em-got 'em all
ready right here in the house; but you'll
have to take a whole 'un, cause we never
cut EN-"
The New Yorker thought he would
take some Goldfish and potatoes. Boston
Courier.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
The "Hummums.n

ourancestors Of the eighteenth century,
in fact, ate and drank more like swine
than human beings, and long before the,
had attained the age of 40 set IN
paunches, the like of which are never
seen nowadays, and which made them q
subject of laughter for gods and men.
Bleeding WAS necessary to preserve these
folks from apoplexy, and man of the
last century resorted as regularly TO his
surgeon as his modern successor paws a
monthly visit TO his hairdresser.
Persons were elegantly told by adver.
tisement in the papers of 1901 that, ''at
the Hummums in Covent Garden thew
might sweat in the cleanest, and he
cupped after the newest. manner.u The
charge without the cupping was very high
even in those days-5s Cd. The Hum
NUNS, apparently a corruption Of
"Hammams," was simply the Turkish
bath Of the present day under it's then
ame.-L0ad0n Times.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
Quaint Service in Japanese Hotel.

In japanese hotel the kitchen is al
ways the principal room in the house and
near the entrance The first thing that
strikes us is the row of large blue platters
arranged around the wall in a shelf rack
near the ceiling. l have come to regard
these platters as test of the prosperity
of the house, writes a correspondent OF
the Cincinnati Enquirer If they are
many and large-three feet across-the
hotel is fiourishing; if few and small, the
reverse. So the first thought is: ''How
are the plattersi"
We arc shown our rooms-upstairs al
ways, if possible-snd leaving our shoes
behind walk upon the soft mats in our
stocking feet Immediately a servant
brings tea and tray of tiny cups with
out saucers; then tobacco and n small
fire-box for smoking purposes. Now all
the visitors in the house and all the
neighbors who can crowd in have
arrived and are in our rooms and are ex-
aiming us.
We think we would like to wash our
hands and faces and then have something
to eat, so we clap our hands three times
and servant screams ''hi, " and soon APP
pears, bowling, and asks what we want.
We call for water, which is brought in a
large bucket with wooden handle, and
a fiat copper basin, in which we perform
our ablutions in full view of the crowd
in the street below US. Little tables,
about as large as a small napkin, are
placed before each on the floor.
We order rice, which is brought in a
small tub with brass hoops. We ask for
eggs, and they bring thirty for four per
sons. We use our own knives and forks
and the visitors look at US and then at
each other and smile admiringly.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

When the British corn laws were re-
pealed in 1876 a general Jubilee was held
in various parts OF the United Kingdom.
At DENLY Dale, Yorkshire, monster pie
was baked and fragments Of it have been
carefully preserved 10 this day. A cor
respondent writes: a Denly farmer
had a small cabinet made, in which WAS
kept small portion Of the suct cru t,
and one day, | well remember, | was
given small fiat-like piece in order that
| might say had tasted the veriiable
pic. The composition Of the pie was as
follows: Flour, 625 pounds; suot, 81
pounds; lard, l0pounds; fresh butter,
i6 pounds; beef, 100 pounds; one calf,
FIVE sheep, seven hares, fourteen rabbits,
four pheasants, four Partridges, two
brace of grouse, six pigeons. two .tur-
keys, two guinea fowls, four ducks, four
geese, four fowls, siXty-ihrce, small
birds, and one pound of pepper. The
circumference of the pie was twoniy-one
feet, and its height or d. pih two feet
three inches ''-Le-ds Me-curV.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
PITH AND POINT.

Always seedy-The fg.
In a tight box-Sardines.
A suit of mail-Will you maFy nc
He does driving busiuess-thc cab
man.
When dentists are partners they ought
to pull together.-SytiHgs.
After all, the greatest fishery trouble is
when they won't bite.-Sm Francisco
alta.
II you want To see a wildcat, simply
hold up the domestic article 10y the tail.
-Nae Haeea Ners
An exchange remarks: Honesty fears
nothing" But it does, though. II fears
dishonesty.-Bostoa Post
A New York firm advertises ''umpire
suits. We believe they arc manufac-
tured at a foundry in Pittsburg. g States
man.
A Fireman's Toast" Cupid and his
torch, the only incendiary that can kin
die a fame which the engines cannot
queneh."
1t is premature to tell any woman that
she IS an angel until It Is seen how she can
cook steak and boil potato.-FaR
Rirer AdrdHce.
What an outrage to cram so many into
this railway coupe" Il should say 50
Why. a sarainc is hermit in comparison
-FiiegeHde Blae,ter.
He (at a Boston musicale" What a
glorious Interpretation ~ She IA Chicago
young woman -" Yes, Mr. Waldo,
call that good tiddling. "-Hirpers Basar.
Tho man who down the avenue
In brand-new hat doth jant,
May feel that hes filling long wanted felt,
As well as long felt want
-M1cion' Trarcier.
Trembling suitor-"Willy you allow me
to ask your daughter to share my handl'
Irate father-"No, but ! will ask you
to share my foot Curtain Boston Ga
sctte.
''Mr. Brown said Dunlcy, Il call to
request your daughters hand in mar
rage. - "Her hand." ''Yes, sir What's
the matter with asking for the girl.n-
I'itts5trg DiYeteh.
The little brother who persists in hang
ing around the parlor when his big sister
is entertaining her best young man is
committing heinous oifcnse. 1t IS de
tiance of the court.
''What are the prospects Of Home Rule
nowl'' a correspondent asks. Really, my
dear fellow, we can't tell you, unless you
let US know when the old lady is going
| home.-iS0mercHl Journal.
A woman doesn't know half rs much
''"Out Ing a. a. ----.-- doc about rockinp
cradle, yet there arc more women who
want to vote than men who want to rock
cradles Washington Critic.
An Indiana man sat down on kcg Of
powder with a pipe in his mouth. and
some superstitious people in the vicinity
think they can see two men in the moon
now--BuriiHqtoa Fice Prey.
The innermost, unexpressed thought
of every man Is about this. If every
other man had been created as nearly
right as am, the millennium might come
almost any day. n-DaasriHe Breeze.
Tell your mother, Johnny, said his
kind maiden aunt, as She placed a piece
of cake in his hand. " that / WIS very
sorry your sister couldn't come And
what will say replied little Johnny,
with an air Of strategy, If mamma asks
where is sisters piece of cake ?''-Judge.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

When Mr. and Mrs Callboard returned
from their wedding journey, they settled
right down to housekeeping. Happier
doves never nestled in fiat, and Mrs.
Callboard determined to make home
happy for Charley from the start. Nc
future misunderstanding should arise in
their domestic arrangements if her wis
dom and tact could prevent. When they
sat down TO their first meal Nellie helped
him to an Opaque slab Of something about
an inch thick, that fell on the table with
dull, sickening thld. There is some
homemade bread like your mother used
to make, Charley, dear" she said sweetly
Il learned how to make that solid circle
of roller composition around the middle
of the loaf when we were stopping at her
house last week; if you should ever want
a change / can make bread whittier than
snow and lighter than sea foam, but this
is the kind your mother makes, and l
thought you might like it the first day TO
keep you from getting homesick. That
nice cake, nshe added, seeing him thought
fully endeavoring to indent with his fork a
dark brown pyramid of elastic concrete,
sis cake such as your aunt Ellen used to
make. / got the prescription from her.
l don't eat it myself, but it is said to be
harmless if not taken to excess. These
irregular fragments of leather betting are
doughnuts, like those your grandmother
makes; she taught me how to make them,
and | had a coroncr's permit to make these.
Those CHASTITY remains on the platter are
all that is left of the holocaust; that is a
chicken roasted after the favorite pre-
scription of your sister Jane. And this,
Charley dear she continued, pouring
out coal black liquid, not quite so thick
as the Missouri river, but far more odor-
Gus, this is coffee like you used to get at
home. | make all these things Somewhat
different for myself, and viii use my own
recipes, as a rule. after this, but any time
you want things as you used to have them
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
PARALLELS


Earth sings her parallels Of loss and gain
In boldest speech
Yet heights sublime which spirits shall attain
She cannot reach.
Aerial whispers float DER Land and sea-
1T deih not yet appear what we shall be.-
Her royal purpics and her crowns Of gold.
Her white attire.
The scepired Flies which her summers hold.
With flames adre-
All fan to show the glory we shall se,-
1T doth no; yetappear what we shall be-"
Who from unSishtly balb or slender roos
Could guess Alright.
The glory of thu flower. the fern. the fruit.
In summers height
Through tremulous shadows voices call to me.
1T doth not yet appear what we shall be-
Triumphant guesses from the seer and sace
Through shadows dart.
And tender meanings on the poets uase
Console the heart.
o songs prophetic though sweet are We.
1T doth not yet appear what we shall b.
-Cidra Thudifes.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Not a Grammarian'-oIu Take the
WhoIe-How She Spent Her
Time-Thc Other Side
Great Traveller. Etc

A story is told that two Californians
engaged in 4 dispute over the proper
method of speaking. They agreed to
leave it to the next man they saw, who
happened to be George Hearst. He was
seated on the stoop OF hotel with his
feet on the railing. One of the gentle
men stepped up TO him and said;
''Sir, my friend and l have been hay
ing a dispute about q matter of speech
We have agreed to leave it to the next
man we meet. Are you grammarianl p
"A WHAT" asked Senator Hearst.
"a grammarian?r was the repeated in
quiry.
mo, sir. Not by long sight" vas
the emphatic response, Il am Mis-
sourian. Nee York Tribune
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

TAPIoCA CREAM PuDDISG.-Soak two
tablespoonfuls Of tapioca in half pint OF
milk over night. In the morning beat
the yolks of three eggs very light and
mix them with the tapioca and half cup
Of sugar; stir into one quart OF boiling
milk and boil for five minutes Flavor
with lemon or vanilla, and when cool put
the whites of the eggs, beaten to a froth,
on the top.
ilaaa!t.--a--2 s-s-sR- ERIITERs. guys Of
fuls prepared flour, half pint or rather
less Of milk, four well-beaten eggs, half a
cupful Of sugar, tablespoonful of butter
and few ciirrants. Boil the milk and
pour over the bread, dredge the currants
with flour and mix all into stiff batter.
Drop into hot lard as doughnuts and send
to table in powdered sugar.
RICE PuDDNG WITHOUT EGGs.-Two
quarts Of milk, one-half teacupful of rice,
little less than teacupful of sugar, the
same quantity Of raisins, teaspoonful of
cinnamon or allspice; wash the rice and
put IT with the rest Of the ingredients
into the milk Bake rather slowly from
two to three hours; stir two or three times
the first hour of baking. If properly
done, this pudding is delicious.
scALLoPED PorAToEs.-Cut up cold
boiled potatoes until you have about a
quart. Put in a pan generous cup Of
milk, one teaspoonful Of flour and one
tablespoonful Of butter Set on the stove
and let it thicker, then put a layer OF
potatoes in pudding dish, season with
salt and pepper, and pour on little of
the gravy. Continue until all is used.
Cover the top with rolled cracker crumbs
and bits Of butter. Bake twenty minutes.
FRIcAssEE OF MUTToN.-Cut two
pounds Of the breast Of mutton into inch
cubes; dredge with salt, pepper and
-four; brown in a tablespoonful of but
ter or the fat Of the mutton. Put them
in q stew pan with a sliced onion, cover
with boiling water and simmer until the
bones slip out; skim of the fat, and when
the veal is tenderadd a quart of peas and
simmer fifteen minutes A pint of boiled
macaroni or asparagus tips may be used
in place Of the peas.
FRIED CELERY-Wash and trim two
heads Of celery, cut of ends, leaving the
NhAA1 iiHit anuut tiEni iutAtS lonHs
divide each head into four, lengthwise,
and put into a saucepan of cold water to
which has been added the juice of half
small lemon-this prevents the celery
from turning black; put in small tea
spoonful Of salt, boil slowly until soft;
take up carefully, putting it on sieve
to drain Then take three tablespoon
fuls Of brown flower, little salt and
pepper, one tablespoonful of salad oil,
the yolk Of one egg, enough cold water
TO mix a thick batter. The white OF the
egg must be whipped TO a stiff froth and
stirred lightly into the batter Dip the
pieces Of celery into the batter, letting it
cover them well, and drop gently INTO
smoking hot oil there should be enough
to cover them; fry to a light brown.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

Brown is a stay-at-home man, but has
read great deal and is an exceedingly
entertaining convcrsationalist He was
was entertainifg scnsezot wing
ladies of the congregation when one of
them remarked:
:" You seem to know something about
nearly every place, Mr. Brown. You
must have travelled great DEAL
Browns spirits seemed to fail. He
paused moment and then replied:
Yes, | have. I'm the father of an
eighteen-months-old baby that never
sleeps except in the day time. 1 can
truthfully say" he went on thoughtfully,
that I have Travelled a great deal. A
very great deal. I'm a pedestrian,
am"
And he heaved a sigh and left the COM
pany.-Kerc6aHt Trdreler.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

saw a list of the household Of Queen
Victoria the other dly and | an aston
ished that she has lived to celebrate her
jubilee She has three physicians in
ordinary, five physicians extraordinary,
two sergeant surgeons. three surgeons
extraordinary, physician to the house
hold, a surgeon ditto, a surgeon apothe-
cary, two Surgeons and apothecaries at
Windsor and two al Osborne, surgeon
oculist, u surgeon deltisi, dentist 10
the household and two chemists and
druggists. Ptis5aygi Chronicle,
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

The precocious small boy finds a rival
in the small girl who figures in the Pri-
mary Department of the canajoharie
Academy.
Teacher TO small girl who had
skipped school, -"Where have you
been and what have you been doing all
the morningl"
Small girl working the heel of her
shoe into a crack in the floor)-'Part of
the time riding down hill"
Teacher with an encouraging smile as
a recognition of veracity) And what
were doing the rest of the timer
Small girl (naively)-"Walking upp'
-ANann JongRaL
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
The other Side.

''Young manl'' he said, as he followed
him o.t on the steps last evening, i
want to have a talk with you. You have
been sparkling my daughter"
''Yes, sir
''You think you love her."
II know l do.
'And you would fain bear her off to
some woodbine cottagef"
THAT is what l would fainest, sir.n
"Ah-uml What's your salaryl"
''Seven dollars a week, sir
''Jes so-take her was afraid you
oouldn'tsupport us all on your wages, but
its all right Hurry up things and get
into the family in time TO pay next
months rent You don't know what a
relief it will be to us old folks to have
some one to support US. n-Dstroit Free
Pres
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

at home, dear, can fill every prescription
in the pharmacopeia, and don't you for
get it And he didn't. That was twenty.
three years ago. and not one of the six
young CallbOards can remember ever to
have heard their father so much as re-
fer to the doughnuts his grandmother
used to make when he was a boy.-Bar-
detie IN Brooklyn Eagle.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

A very large number of adults form
the habit of sleeping in one particular
position, such as lying upon their right
or left side. A smaller number sleep
upon the back. Some persons sleep
with the head greatly extended; more
often it is flexed considerably upon the
trunk. Many must have the head great
Nv elevated; others can only sleep with
the head very low. Some observations
made by DR.. G. Nosoviteh (Wratsei)
upon 23j soldiers showed that 37.5 per
cent. slept upon the right side, 80 per
cent. on the left, and 60 per cent. on
the back.
1t has vet to be determined whether
any particular harm can come from sleep
ing in certain position which the indi-
vidual uncOnsciousl,' assures Medical
Rsr0rd.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.

To Restore Whiteness to FIanneIs.
When flannel has become yellow by
age, it may be restored to whiteneSs by
the use Of a solution of twenty-four
ounces Of Marseilles soap in fifty pounds
Of soft water, to which is added two
thirds Of an ounce OF spirit of aqua
ammonia, and the whole thoroughly
mixed. Immerse the flannel, stir around
well then rinse in pure water.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10
Two Costly Monuments.

The tallest monument in New York
State and, in all probability, in the coun-
Try, is that which marks the grave Of
General John Z. Wool, of Troy. n. Y.
The famous General left 500. 600 in his
will for the monument. 1t is plain
granite shaft which rises in taperins
grandeur far above the surrounding trees
and can be seen for miles in any direction
Long John Wentworth is now erecting
monument 10 himself in a Chicago Gem,
etery which will cost him So, 900 -Bes.
ton GloJe.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

The world is the great tempter; but at
the same time it is the great monitor. 1t
stimulates our pride by its pomp and
show, its fleeing honors and prizes; it
haads men to the race, and inspires them
\, r covetousness and rapacity, but on
Ii, ther hand, it is the great memento
and idence of its own vanity, and Of
the Heless of everything it offersto us
1t is treat saddener, the great warner,
the q prophet.
The San Saba news. [volume] (San Saba, Tex.) 1873-1966, 1887-06-10

The railroads Of Colorado pay twenty
per cent. of the taxes and employ 10000
men, who support 10000 Of the popula
ton.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-11-13
Which Reduced to Ashes Pro.
perty Valued at a Quar-
ter of a Million.
Arensdorf's Case to Come Up
Again Tomorrow in the
Sioux City Courts.
WOOnsOeket'S AfflictiOn From
the Fire Fiend--General
Northwestern News.
Special to the Globe.

Special to the Globe.
ST. PETER, Minn., Nov. 12.-St. Peter
is on fire. The flames are still rampan1
and uncontrolled. The first alarm was
sounded at 1910 o'clock, and the fire
which originated in the old barn of the
Northwestern hotel. has consumed and
destroy ed the business portion of the
city. The wind was very strong and{
from the southeast and lay in the direc-
tiOn of the First National bank, the
stores of William Klein, A. J.. Lamber-
ton, Oliver Anderson and others. The
fire department with limited supply OF
water are now hard at work fighting
the flames with but little sue
cess. The houses laid low thus
far are the First National bank and con-
tents, the dry goods and clothing stores
of A. j. Lamberton, the furniture store
of William Klein. the general store of
Oliver Anderson, the law Office of A. A.
Stone, the Commercial and Northwest
ern hotels and contents, the saloons Of
w. w. Chandler, F. Warmmundi and j.
Knestant, the stores of A. Fischer g.
W. Steinke, II. j. Ludicke, n. M. Baker
& Co., and the millinery store of Mrs.
Ludeke. Among those who
ARE MOST UNFORTUNATE
Is Mr.. Ludcke, who has lost the fruits
of twenty years toll, everything, in
Guiding his dwelling, being burned to
the ground. The loss at this writing
will amount to over S250,0OO, with no
possible estimate as to what the dam
age will be when the fire is under con-
troll. The Mankato fire department are
here and noble are the efforts of every
one to stop the fury of the flames.
Stores are being emptied of stocks Of
fine goods and thousands of dollars
worth of stock lie scattered about the
streets. Among the damaged stock. is
that of c. AmundsOn whose $40, 900 worth
of goods are injured by water and
smoke. The armory of Company /, NJ.
n. g., is now in flames and portion Of
the arms belonging to the state are in
accessible. Most of the burnt buildings
are old landmarks, while some are fine
brick edifices, and none can now say
what effect the fire will have on the
future of this devastated city.
APPEAL ED TO ST. PAUL.
A telegram from the mayor of st.
Peter was received shortly after II
O'Clock at fire headquarters asking for
help. Engine No. 6, the reserve chemi-
cal, and a hose cart were at once loaded
on special train of fiat cars
in the Omaha yards. The train, with
fifteen firemen under command of Sec
ond Assistant Chief Kelleber, several
reporters and operators left the freight
depot at the foot of Robert street about
1890, but at Chestnut street the order
was countermanded from ST. Peter, the
fire having been put under control.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-11-13
ArenSdOrf'S Case.

Specials to the Globe.
SIOUX CITY, To-, Nov. 12.-The sher-
if to-day completed the service of an
extra venire for seventy-five jurors
from which to select jury to try John
Arensdorf a second time for the murder
of Rev. George c. Haddock. This is in
addition to the regular panel. The trial
is set for Monday, in the district conrt,
Judge Wakefield presiding. Since the
last trial, which ended in the disagree
ment of the jury, the defense has made
strenuous efforts to have the case dis
missed. arguing such motion at length,
only to have it Overruled. AT present
the indications are that the trial will
proceed. although it is rumored that
desperate effort will be made to have a
continuance granted. AS far as is
known no new evidence of Importance
has been developed on either side, and
no one knows the whereabouts of Henry
Peters. George Truber or Louis Plath.
The interest in the case does not begin
to approach that manifested in the first
trial