Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-04-06

InS = ~
Grief-Finaie.
"What dye think" exclaimed Mr..
Bowser, as he rushed into the sitting room
without taking time'to leave his hat and
overcoat on the hall rack.
'Some Of our relations dead'"
"Relationsl Nawl Mrs. Bowser, for
the past two or three weeks l have been
preparing a surprise for you-a great sur
prise. How much milk do We use around
this house daily''
.'Three quarts Of milk and a pint Of
cream"
Exactly, Mrs. Bower, exactly. And
the cost is twenty-four cents. You call it
milk, but what is it' A compound Of
chalk and water, which must kill us in
side OF five years."
sand are you going to change milk
mem"
Exactly, Mrs. Bowser. / am going to
be my Owl milkman after this!'
"You are going toto
"Ycs, I'm going to buy a cowv'
"But you always get cheated on such
things"
"Do II That's all you know about IL!
When | don't make % per cent. profit i
want TO be kicked. A COW will be the
best paying investment we ever made.
Just figure for yourself: There are twelve
quarts Of rich milk per day, at six cents
per quart. That's seventy-two cents per
day or $5.0i per week. Take out seventy
five cents ms the cost of her keeping, and
you have a clear profit Of S4.29. Is that
q swindleg We can't use over -four quarts
yxor slor and nm thnrafnra soil afrhf IN
the ~neighbors. Just speak to Green and
Smiths folks, will you'"
Mr.. BowsER's WARNING.
"Mr. Bowser, don't you remember our
Pig"
''Pig. pig, What has a Durham COW
got 10 do with a short horn pig; And,
besides, your own base conduct killed that
animal Mrs. Bowser, don't you dare at
tempt any tricks on my COW. | don't
want a scandal but I'll divorce you If
you ever look cross eyed at her.
"Well, wen see bow you'll come out"
sob, yes-throw cold water on my eff
forts 10 give you ali the comforts Of life.
It's a wonder to me that l don't get dis
couraged and go to the gutter, as many a
good man has"
Early the next morning a woman ap-
peared with a cow and cali, having them
tied behind her wagon. The calf was tied
as well as the COW and ! noticed that il
seemed to be doing its best TO keep away
from her. This seemed so singular that /
went TO the back door TO speak 10 Mr.,
Bowser about it, but he promptly called
70 me:
sect back there! Do you want 10 get
Als. .aa- .~ossa1 and har llnal laafai
up!''
he paid for his new mich COW and
placed COW and calf in the barn, and after
giving them an hour to quiet down he
came in for me. After looking the ami
mails over | asked:
''Mr. Bowser, how old is that calfy''
''Three weeks"
"And that COW is its mother"
''Its mother You don't think she's its
uncle or grandfather, do your You must
be getting soft in the head!'
'.Do you notice that she won't own il!
See there! She's ready 10 cripple it if it
comes near
''Mrs. Bowser, you 90 in and attend to
your gossip and that wall eyed baby, and
don't you dare to come near this barn
again, You have become cross eyed and
soft headed"
/ went In. hut two hours later. when he
had a butcher up To buy the cali. ! slipped
out and heard the m0n say;
''That's the way Of il. BCwsCr. That
isn't her calf any more than you are
Queen Victoria's brother. The cow may
be all right, however; she looks like a
good mixer
The calf was driven away and Mr..
Bowser put in the afternoon at making a
milk stool and fixing buttons on the cows
horns. After supper lie went out and
MIXED, and as he brought in a pail even
full he set il on the kitchen table with the
compliment remark:
"Micht have got six quarts more, but /
got tired"
THREE GLASSES FOR SUPPER.
He mnde y great ado about drinking
three glasses for supper, aud the cook was
sent around the ucighborhood to drum up
customer. lie held me in lofty contempt
for awhile, but finally melted enough 10
inquire:
''Well, did you taste any chalk in that'''
"N0, but did you observe that il had an
old taste!'
"W-what do you means''
'lf that calf didn't belong to her what
Is the inference
He rose up, turned as white ms a sheet,
and after n great effort managed TO say:
''Thc inference is that you don't know
enough 10 come in when il rains! Mrs.
Bowser, You killed of my hens, and You
caused the death Of my pig Take care
how you oonspire with my COW! There is
q limit TO which "a human being can be
pushed
Nothing further wa said until next
morning, when the quantity of milk
dropped off TO four quarts. began 10
express wonder and amazcment, but Mr..
BowsCr interrupted me with;
al didn't expect even that much this
morning. She is grieving for her calf.n
The quantity at night was the same,
, and Mr.. BOwser's marble brow wore a
,vuk Of anxiety. At the end Of n week
the quantity had fallen 10 three quarts at
a milking, even with Mr.. Bowser feeding
ten pounds Of meal per day. Then | vent
ured 10 observe:
"Mr. Bowser, / was satisfied from the
first that you had been swindled. That
calf nev''-
'1Oh, you were? Well. / wasn't She's
grievod for that calf until her milk is
nearly gone, but I'll fat her for beef and
get at least SO more than she cost me-"
We kept the beast from March TO Sep
TENDER. She yielded us about $40 worth
OF milk which no one liked 10 use, and
she cost 500 for fodder. Her first cost,
exclusive OF the calf, was S42. Mr.. Bow
ser sold her TO a suburban butcher for
f2J, aud on the evening the trade was
concluded, and Us we sat in the cleaning,
1 remarked.
swell, il hardly paid us TO buy the