Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1887-08-11
FULL OF FUN.

| r9LL W FSN
The Chinese High Executioner
thinks he does q good stroke of work
when he chops of twenty heads In two
minutes.
The Captain Of the Moscow Rus-
sia) Bicycling Clubs named KominoT,
but Of course he has got over that
now.-New HdUen News.
"Ahi good evening, Mrs. Brown Is
| your card fullP" mo. Mr.. Smythe.
but my escort is, and II you would
kindly take me home / would DO so
much obliged."-Li6.
"A chinaman~ recently sent the fol-
lowing telegram to a Pacific coast
railway official: 81 shippee you two
carload hog. No catchee pass.
Whattee matter? All Fook."
-"Well, Mary, said Mrs. Cobwigger
to her hired girl, chow will you like to
move to Harlemp" THAT depinds,
num-" was the naive reply. .'onf what
koind Of a cop is on the bate. The
Earth. mf.
"A farmer smashed all the windows
in a schoolhouse because the teacher
refused to accept his attentions. There
is no telling what a tender-hcarted
man won't do when he is thoroughly
grieved.
"A dude In Denver is one who bangs
his hair a la burro, wears a sombrcro
on the back of his head, Is seldom
without q toothpick in his mouth and
takes his whisky like he does his bath,
without any water.-The Earth.
Madame to Maid Francoise, why
do you clean my boots with my tooth
brushP" Maid to MISUNDERSTANDING,
the fact is, the other brushes are so
large, and the madamc's boots are so
small. "-London Globe.
-Whcn you see a woman just about
to step off from a moving open horse
car while shc is facing tho real don't
call out TO prevent her. 1t will be
nearly o month before the regular cir
Gus comes, and then it will cost you
fifty cents to 60 in. -Someroiie Jour
nal
"A European earthquake sharp has
discovered that the earth Is slowly APP
preaching the sun, and the moon is
drawing near the earth. Being thus
warned, any body who is in the way
and is hurt when either collision oc-
ours will have nobody but himself to
blame. -Boston Transcript.
Eastern Man-"Yes, business is
very brisk out my way" Western
Man-"You refer to real estate, Of
courseP" We'll. in my town We OK
pect to build one thousand houses this
summer" That's nothing. Why, in
my town there is one lot in the business
section that has already been bought
and sold one thousand times. - Omaha
World.
No Pass No fi1e.-
No more 'vwfxt raDsof iron laid,
Der field ana moor and fallow,
Anemones will bloom and fade,
And daisies white and yellow;
No more between the ties will grow
The weeds and tangled grasses;
They'll all be dead, all trodden low,
BY people without passes.
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Blank is generally Of q very
amiable disposition, but she said a bet
ter thing tho other day. She express.
ed the awful wish that Bridget might
one day be well enough off to hire O
servant herself Tho poor girl was
quite broken down, and cried like Q
baby. -Boston Transcript
Little Peter is seven years old.
He is very intelligent, but a little
obstinate. The other day he persisted
in not saying goodbye to his grand.
mother. and for this reason II was de.
cidod to deprive him of dessert at din
ner. He thought how he could avoid
this punishment. Finally, when hi
was at the table, he said: Mother, i
| did not say goodbye to grandmother
it is because / was too overcome at hel
departure" Then he added, with
triumphant mir: Now I can hav,
some dessert, can't pm Y. Ledger
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