The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1887-06-03
RICH RELATIONS,

below. Now, with rich relations the posi-
tions are reversed, and then-ah, one finds
it not only more blessed, but far more
agreeable to give than to receive. There is
Heavens blessing be upon them.-many
a gracious Lady Bountiful and generous
Sir Galahad in this world of ours. But it
is no easy thing to bestow a gift with 50
fine an air that the giver may seem the
favored one, or the act of kindness 50
slight as not to merit recognition. And
few, indeed, there are who do it.
To most rich and generous folk the out
come Of their giving seems a sense that
they buy, body and soul, the friend their
bounty benefits, and then they look for
gratitude forsooth! As though a salesman
should expect one TO say 'sthank you
kindly, when one lays down largess in ex-
change for goods. They give, yes, abund-
antly, as it has been given them. But,
when they expect in return devotion, alb
solute and entire; willing service, thought
full care, they should not ask, too, for
thanks. They give of their own; the re-
cipients of theirs, and neither side may
Justly think Of gratitude.
Another most unpleasant phase in the
relations ef rich and poor, is that they too
| often bestew without thought or care as to
whether the gift be appropriate OF no.
Sometimes a wealthy couple will choose
one to be their f~avorite, out Of a large and
i~mpecunious family; not to take her ahso-
lutely to themselves, but to turn her head
with luxurious living and inappropriate
dress, and, after long visits which unfit
her for the simple home life, send her back
to an essentially false position. She hasa
vague feeling Of shame when she walks in
the elegance uniting her age beside her
plainly dressed sisters, and feels q hot
flush mount to her cheeks as she sees GU
rious eyes note the difference in their at
tire, 1t is a help to the parents, perhaps,
the gifts which, therefore, she may not re-
fuse. but / wonder does such a girl feel
lady-like in them?
And perhaps il would be as well If rich
relations gave poorer kinsmen credit for
their own d~elicaey of taste and feeling.
There are women whopack regularly great
boxes of half-worn clothing for some
country cousin, saying, in the act, With a
complacent smile of self-approyal:
''This lilac silk will make Mary Jane a
handsome Sunday dress, and Ethel's old
pink satin can be made over eharmingly
for little Sally"
But uppos Mary Jane is an over
worked housekeeper, with heart and hands
more than full, and purse proportionately
empty? II this were not so, would she
need help9 II this is the case does She
need that sort Of help ? Why should not
the rich. idle women make all needed alter
ations in the garments, saving the poor
busy one q d~Fessinaker's bill, or many
oYer-hours of work And when the
dresses are ready for wearing, there are ten
chances to one, that Mary Jane is sallow
and worn. where her cousin is ali pink and
pearl, and the lilac silk is IN eyesore toher
and hers. the time it lasts; while Sally
goes among her p~lainly-clad playmates,
looking to her mother (and perhaps to her
self. for children sometimes have a little
sense1: like an absurd iaekdaw in her Dor
rowed plunes.
Withal. the re-made garments are not
new ones for sight or wearing. 1t is a
cheap philanthrophy, this ''old clos
giving, as to the beggar at the door, and
entails new dresses to the bestowers, in the
stead of those which have outliyed useful
ness, beauty, or preference; but is it true
beneyolence?
Rich relations are far from being an un-
mixed blessing. I remember now, with
some amusement a conversation between
two ma thus encountered.
"My brother" said the first, ''liges on
forty thousand dollars a year, and because
he has helped my husband to establish
himself in business, thinks he must direct
! all our affairs heneeforth; and thinks, toe,
that we. with his family, live recklessly,
because we spent between two and three
thousand dollars this last year"
u know what that is" said the second,
'sand how having rich relations in til e
| same town with you keeps you always in
a state of pinpricks. Everything you have
looks mean and shabby, in comparison
with their establishment. Your children
tease fer toys and trinkets like their
cousins, and even your husband wonders
sometimes why You cannot dress to look
like YOUR sister-she in a French costume,
and YOU in one that you have wasted the
wee sma' hours to make: just as your
friends wonder why the difference is so
wide between the two families"
s'And, added the first, ''the rich reia-
lions imagine their patronage to be kind
ness. and that they are showing a beeom-
ing interest, when they are simply in
~trusive and impertinent. @, the air with
which their costly robes trail across your
ingram carpet, and the lefty manner in
which they touch your handicrafr and say
L don't see why you should waste time
and eyesight over this work. Youcan buy
the very thing at Lord & Taylor's for
twenty dollars"
s'Or," chimed in the second. 81 don't
want to find fault with you, Louisa, but
must say you seem extravaganza. Those
shoes I gave Mary were for best and here