Butte semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1886-1890, 1887-04-09
Thrown OUT

OUT."
3 1have q very good reason, most men wi
: allow, for remembering well my last toboe
gan ride. 1 had only been out in Canada
: short time-gone out, OF course, to make
pile Of money, as the Yankees say, and re
, turn with my pockets. well filed n Al
heiresa By the way, how is it all English
men exrect to catch an heiress out west, TO
in the smoking room they speak Of it, well
like they speak of shooting buffalo; and it i
about as hard, for the buffalo are extermi
mated, and 50, I fear, are heiresses. It i
needless to say that neither purpose was &C
complished: What I actually did was to re
!, turn with a broken nose and empty pockets
having lost the lady all through that fata
slide, and, therefore, had to add to my sor
rows a broken heart.
Yet the mythical heiress who figures *
largely in the imagination Of youthful colo
nists had been actually mine-mine, at any
rate, for a few moments; but there's many 9
slip between the cup and the lip"
To cut a long story short, I was in a per
feet blaze of happiness Most men will I'M
derstand my feelings better than I can de
scribe them when I say I had just proposed
and been accepted by . real, live heiress,
father q millionaire, you know, and all that
sort of thing; added to which she was q little
beauty, quantities of golden hair, violet eyes
fruged with long dark lashes.- They will
unde rstand further that l was caught up
into the seventh heaven Of engaged bliss,
and was, therefore, on this particular after
noon scarcely accountable for my actions.
Oh! why does it all last such a short timer
On this identical day, the first and last OF
my affianced life and also of to~bogganing-
for . certain ratio exists in my mind between
the two, you perceive, and with some truth
II set off with a party of friends from the
states to a certain wellsknown Ottawa slide.
had got myself up in Canadian style, in
the necessary blanket costume, white Dor
dered with crimson and q crimson sash and
tuque; my feet, too, were cased in moccasins.
which, for the benefit of the uninitiated, are
made of deer skin, yellow, and embroidered
with moose hair. The only thing that
marked me as essentially English was the
fact that I was preparing to smoke
going dow the slide. But oh! the cold-the
thermometer stood t~wenty-eight degrees be-
low zero-yet what a sky, cloudless and of
the deepest blue, and the sun pouring down
xoyS 0llAAOSU RO"SAAUA. Au0 aAlCo
upon seeing me start; I wished they wouldn't
come. There was nothing to be done, bow
ever, but to bear it. My finance, Of course,
was with the rest.
Well, we mounted the steps; it seemed to
me those steps were endless, and I had a feel
ing exactly as if my last hour were come and
], a doomed felon, mounting the gallows.
How I hated the nam of ~tobogganingl I
had a presentiment something would happen,
and the very thought made a cold perspira-
ton burst out over my forehead; why, I
might be killed-goodness knows what!
was not a brave man, certainly not. Well,
everything comes to an end at last, and so
did this; we had reached the top. Why, oh!
why did fate lead my unlucky steps up here!
for on looking down at the path the toboggan
was to take, by Jove! it was a precipice, you
know. anyhow" l sighed to myself, "there
is no getting out Of it; go down you must or
disgrace yourself for ever in the eyes of the
fair sex" No, it wouldn't do; I must go, that
is clear.
"~Tobogganing is a perfectly harmless and
safe amusement, I supposed" I asked of one
of my American friends, while pretending
nonchalantly to knock the ashes off my cigar.
"You never get hurt, I mean2"
"Why, I guess it isn't what you'd call
downright safe; it is more dangerous than
h%untin'; why yes, certainly, there are more
deaths in the season."
"Deaths!" 1muttered to myself; then it is
dangerous"
"Some people faint, you know" continued
my fair friend, ant stand the rari6ed air.
"Well, that's a pleasant thought, upon my
word" l uttered mentally.
"But the cause of death Isl
"Why, a broken neck in most cases" said !
Nelly, the girl to whom 1 was engaged. and
her coral lips parted, and she showed a set of
pearly, glistening teeth.
1--WE known W. or three come to grief
that way" she continued; there was"-
counting on her fingers-"let me see, that
young lieutenant in the Hussars, who rode as
a jockey under the name of Blue and Sill
ver;' he is buried in the cemetery, l guess, !
just around the corner.
swell, then, there is that Englishman who
came west down Chicago way, crossed the
little pond with me; he went by the name of
tho i~mpecunious barrister,' because he was
always talkin' about his uncle, and wore a
ring that looked like a ruby
"Then a clergyman from Long Island"-
"Oh, stop!" l cried in a perfect panic Of
fear, but tried not to let them see it; girls are
SO sharp, that is the worst of it, and I felt
distinctly getting pale; do you know the SEN
sation! My white poodle always looks pale
when he is out Of sorts, and l expect I looked
much as he does.
"Get in" said the fellows who were going
to take me down; you shall nave the front
seat; visitors, you know, like to see the view."
l certainly thought l detected a side wink TO
my fair friends, but dare say it was a mistake.
Il don't in the least mind going in the
middle" mildly protested, but was conscious
that my voice sounded weak and faint, for l
felt sure my offer wouldn't be accepted,
I clutched at this last straw in
You are too generous, my dear fellow
my tormentors; couldn't think of it,
really; you must have the seat of honor. the
seat"
"Flendsl" I muttered to myself. Obi I'd have
given everything I possessed if some one had
removed me of that said t~oboggan, as Mr..
tlckwlck removed the skates from of Mr..
Wrinkle, merely because he was not a fit sub
)ect Tor the sport. And there was the bevy
Of American girls bending over and laughing
low. How coolly Nelly had talked about
getting my neck broken; why, she didn't seem
70 care a straw; and I wondered if she would
ARE more when l put a certain ring on a Ger
tain finger, and she took me "for better or
worse"
The little minxi But Cupid's darts had
gone through me, and love is ever blind.
Dear little thing, of course she cared; she
would be the first to run and help me I'D. and
what a state she would be inl
Are you ready! we are just Of" cried one
It my blanket-coated friends.
snow, hold hard, but mind you don't put
your knuckles o. the slide, otherwise you
won't have any skin left. Very fast to-day-
! pure sheet OF ice-speed sixty miles All hour.
3Why," I stammered, athat is faster than
ordinary express train"
Just so, quite right. a good deal faster;
hat is what makes a tumble so dangerous
when it is ice, not snow. Now, when I say
two, three, hold hard for your very life, F..
et your teeth and run for it, and don't move j
muscle. or, by George! we'll be knocked ]
nto the middle Of next week. {
The supreme moment had come: I showed ]
ny cigar between my teeth and positively {
'early bit it in two, showed my hands down
o the bottom Of my pockets and stepped in.
0vEhv I r,oe po~s,xo ~o< 49,. a