Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1887-06-09
TONSORlAL POINTERS.
Mr.. Whangdoodle Baxter Has Something
to Say About the BARRIERS.

TO say ABOUT the BarDers.
De subjec' oh dis elements discourse
am BARRIERS. / has selected dis subject
bekase de cullud race am much adj
dicte' ter barberism, not only in dis
kentry but likewise in Africa.
| has heered heap OBJ references ter
illusions in regard ter BARRIERS, dat dey
talks too much and so forth, and | am
sorry ter say wild humileashun dat dar
am good grounds for hit
Howsumeeber, dar's no danger OBJ de
barber shops goin' outer de bizness so
long as de wimin folks cuts dar corns
wld dar husbands best razor. Dis, and
de fact dat de aberage woman can't be
convinced dat hit don't Spite razor
ter sharpen hit on butchers steel.
Some barber's am too heightened ter
call demsefs BARRIERS. | knowed one
who called hssef a tonsiorious arts,
physignominical har dresser, carnum
manipilater, capillery abridger, and
professor OBJ crinecultural abcission.
He was one OBJ de ornery BARRIERS, and
de customer what got inter his hans
got hissef inter bad scrape, and no
mistake. | has heered BARRIERS was
surgins, originally, and dis sort of bar
bers am surgins yet. Keep way from
'em.
Talkln' about BARRIERS bein' surgins,
de barber shop am not de only place
whar folks get skinned alive Some
time hit hurts noah to get shaved in q
brokers' office, or in law office, den
hit does in BARRIERS chair.
De beautiful poick who sad "de
tittenest place for man ter dye am
whar he dyes for man" must have had
Il barber shop in his head when he writ
dem solemn lines ''De Isles o.
Greece" | has heered so much about
wasn't dey in a barber shop? Some
folks don't preshiate de literary labors
oh de BARRIERS. Dis heah head-work
takes brains, you jes bet hit does.
Men, and specially boys, likes ter be
shaved. Shaving boy am like re-
ducin' expenses, for yer has ter cut
down. Heah! heah! heah! / had ;
young freaten ter sue me for damages
He said, cut off his merstache. / tole
him didn't see hit, and den he got Sc
mad he wanted ter kill me. HI
couldn't be persuaded dat his whisker
wasn't ripe yet
De talk what BARRIERS glib dar custom
ers don't do no hurt. Dey nebbe
really says muffin. When barbe
talks to a customer, and am sociable
like, he don't mean muffin cept dat h
wants ter scrape an acquaintance
OATS all | has. heered tell dat d
reason dat we don't heah muffin NOR
about de phonograf am bekase hi
went inter barber-shop and wa
talked ter death, but L don't believ
hit. Hits simply consult ter de bar
berous perfeshum.
Most men will stand a clip on d
head from barber and dey don't los
dar temper eff de barber pulls dar nos
besides. Dey wouldn't take dat fror
nobody else 'ceptin' barber. Befor
tuck ter lecturin' / was a tonsoria
arts mysef. once tole II man wi
mighty little har on his head dat h
needed bottle OBJ my Magic Har RI
storer and Electrical Elixir, but h
shuck his head VERY solum-like an
said dat hit wasn't har restorer S
much as hit was a divorce what h
needed. Iguess AFTER all he knowe
best what he wanted.
has also heered dat in Chicago 20
could see wimen at de polls, dat da
was lots oh female BARRIERS. Hit strike
me dis move am shear nonsense, an
n muffin else.
When was a tonsorial arts | ha
more change in my pocket den ha
had sence | has been on de lectur
platform. Uncle Nose, please pass d
hat.-TeraS SJtinqS.