The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-05-25
WHO BRIAREUS WAS.
A Revised Version of Some Tales Of Classic
Mythology.


Briareus was as much of freak as Pan !;
in some respects more so.
The question has often occupied my mind:
Which would have commanded the higher
salary in the dime museum of the present
day.
Perhaps Pan would have kept in the lead,
for there was only one of him, and it would
have been very difficult to make another.
Freaks with goats horns, legs and hoofs
can't be produced every day, even in this age
of invention and scientific attainment.
While there was only one Pan, Briareus
had two brothers as picturesque in appear
ance as himself. This would operate against
him in the freak market, for the duplication
of a curiosity seriously impairs its value.
That is what has ruined the business ofthe
glass-eater, and made bridge jumpers as cheap
as dirt
What the people cry for is great original
and only curiosity-an honest New York al
ierman, for instance.
Notwithstanding the duplication of Briar-
eus' charms in the person of his brethren,
he was an attraction which would have been
worth at least $500 week, with the privi-
lege of selling his photograph tospectators.
This choice specimen of heeffete past pos
sessed fifty heads and a hundred arms.
It was well for Briareus that in his day it
Nv, ,ya,r fill bear, a,,,, that
cutting The hair 6 civilized abbreyiation
q necessary 10 admission into good So
ciety.
Think of man with fifty heads going into
a crowded barber shop on Saturday night for
= ba;r-o,,t and shawl
~ tb;,,Ir how tbe other mon with faces
fresc,,ed with boards Of from, two 10 seven DAYS,
standing ,yonld even wish themselves dead
s 10, thev fonnd Rriareus ahead Of them
Er . and fellow-citizens thew world rise
- 49, ,,,,, .,,d a,,nan,;te him
- ma i.s ,gr,,,d he more ,,sef,l
L. +, - ,, man conld Dress :, tho
-. - 10 bad ono mir ~ arms WIFI
M nj, @ ,,Il on his boots while a second
- NOS ens,ae,ed in sewing n suspender hut.
to, an HE tro,,sersl Another pair Of arms
Ia 10 a,,,ac,o, i, milling down his vest
s,,.t,, ,,a;r - tbe same fine couId no roach.
- a., hnroa,, coax;po q COW collar
,ns - -. ..;.,,,t. t;s,,, ~ oo,,la
pu''oi ION :. .se h;s ta;r Ill st
:. oeeupiI'. t,;s .,,,r,,,aar hr,,s,, III
| - = H. 49, Il
mar anu s',''i'' i0'y " ''''''>S '''''''
serves useiui
"oira,i ~. M, -, sy PM M ~ 49,,
more useluA o.'aa 49, s. .l -. 80
iae. ines.o iese ~, sns Ill, -,
ho.u,ns pms nan anu o''''A Us
ar,ro'es p-..
pu. ~ w -. 10y 49, 80. ~
proini,,ene ei''1en ~ ono VIZ 1853 -
anu ooiisls, anu ~ - -,
masso =. -. :,
i,s -" ~. 81 -, .sIs
" la us nuss.na 49, -, -. na,'o-aI
e oe inoie iopu'a' W. slA ia.
~, 1911 10
~ ~ oa' - a. - 20 a. sf,;att 80,
,n'o $1,000 ~ CIV ~ ~. g.. .a,,,d he .hor
nau uo,o 40 oass VIZ ss "o raaa,, sor sor
,;ss 49,, lii, t,f,,, boods ana a HIM.
Nv, = a a,.,a ~ so.,,,ar horan.o 90 ,
s .sa.rr :, -, nf Trov laundry Think Of III,
I'M t,,,' g.. as,s;n, os,,ars ana c,ffsI
~, -,
a, i rhasT ,,,.,, he c,asss., WITH N,
-. -, az aastr,et;o,, 80 tbs ,,oacI
49,, -, tha t;sb stor;as which bloop, In N,
SWING tra-la-la.
His biograpber was n gentleman bv the
name of Homer. who often luered into his
stories incidents which require the action Of
a donble-iointed credulity to believe. Mr..
fTo,,er was ON Of t,,a editors If tba (),,,,,,,,,
:. :.
oa~e'ee ana II IS wonuer 10 me 'nae ne was
never sued Tor libel, Tor ne was the Baron
Munchausen of his congressional district.
Homer saws that when the inferior deities
ch;oo,,,3 ~ ~. f,,.rn.,,,. 80 ~ ,,r,l,;l,;
W sAo o,'lo. =. VIZ
tion iaw' ana conspireu against Jupiter ioi
enforcing it, the latter telegraphed to Bria-
ious ioi ess's'anoes "io ,e' lon'ee pioinp'is'
ana ssson IN aoe .ne peiligeren. uei.ies very
sick OF their contract. But when Briareus
himself began to feel his oats, and declare
| that be was n bigger man than old June. he
49, ,,s,',,t,s, ;ahhed info tbe calabnosa
was promptly JaDDeu INTO tuo cdlduoOse, y