The Penn's Grove record., 1887-01-15


cracking his fingers above his head and
making the most comical facial contor-
lions, finally winding up with a burst
of uproarious laughter.
30, Lor', I'll dieI some of you get
me a b~randy-pani before l expire with
e~xuberance of merriment."
ibid you do 1t, CharlieP" we eagerly
inquired.
"Do itP yes, made a grand sweep;
took even tho shirt of bis back, and
he can't get another in a hurry, fer I've
the keys of his drawer in my pocket.
Oh my 1t vas delicious"
"sTell us all about it," and we pressed
round HIM, open-mouthed.
Having swallowed the brandy and
soda, he began:
"T relieved Ram Bux about IL
O'Clock, and, as there was no light in
the room, old Steenle could not distin-
guish my features. About IL. 80 he
called for a cup of coffee, which l
brought him, having first dissolved in
1t a potent sleeping powder. -(Gadl l
think he must have been drunk. for his
vo .ce sounded somewhat strange and
hoarse.) BY Georgei l trembled in my
slippers as l handed him the coffee.
But he drank it in one draught, never
looking up, and In a few minutes was
in a sound, delightful snore. Now is
my tlme,' l thought. 1 Stealthily ap-
preached the table to seize the arms,
but, to my surprise, there was neither
sword nor pistol on it. This discovery
discomposed me somewhat. 'Wnat If
he should have them with him in the
bed2' 1 thought. But he slept soundly,
snoring in a deeD, melodious bass. L
packed up everything come-at-able, and
placed them in a bundle outside the
door. Now for the sheet, l thought.
| had some little m~aneuvering before l
could get it from under his capaclous
trunk"
"Whatl did you really take the
sheet2" we asked.
THAT 1 did. I rolled it up length
wise, just as l roll up this paper there
he illustrated) until 1t rested in a long
roll beside him; then l got a feather,
which l had taken care to bring, and
gently tickled his nose, as though 1t
were a mosquito paying court to him.
lie rolled over with q grunt, and |
gently slipped the sheet away. l cut
his shirt clean of, and L firmly believe
| could have skinned the old porpoise
without waking him. oh, it was richl'
Here Charlie again exploded, and we
added a ready chorus.
II hear the general arrived In the
station last night, and is expected on
parade to-day" somebody remarked
when the laughter had somewhat SUBJ
sided.
"Well," said Carter. ''whether the
general is on parade or not L know old
Coppernose won't unless he presents
himself like Father Adam before the
fall. Butt he added thoughtfully,
'sthe fact of the generals being here
makes things look serious. Dye think
the major will report the AFFAIR.""
mo fear of that" l added; ''self-
conceit will act as a preventive. You
remember his oft-repeated boast. He'd
like to see the man who could rob
him2"
We all scattered to our bungalows
to get ready for muster parade. When
staff call sounded we leisurely strolled
out in ones and twos to the square, u
minds filed with the last nights ex-
plot. Did our eyes deceive US? Why
did we look as IL an apparitlon started
up and confronted us2 There, aside of
his old nag, was the major himself, re-
splendent in the brightest OF uniforms.
"Carter has taken a pretty rise out
of US; knew he'd funk a 1.-THE last mo-
ment,n said Spires.
sBut what was his little game In
masquerading as the MAJORS bearer
this mornlng?F' asked another.
We all felt highly indignant, and
were resolved to give Carter, who was
now approaching, a good blowlng-up.
But he, too, was thunderstruck.
''Well, what do you think of yourself
and your nights work now?" we asked
angrily.
upon my honor, gentlemen, every
word l told you this morning was true.
How he got the uniform | can't make
out.n
The colonel now rode up, and after
exchanging the usual ~salutations asked
the major when the general arrived.
81 met him about 10 o'clock last
night; he had come up from Umballa,
and as he was wearied with the jour-
ney, and the ddk bungalow out of re-
pair, | assigned my bed to him and
made shift elsewhere myself"
We were astonished-astounded.
Had the ground opened beneath his
feet and given up the dead, Charlie
Carter could not have been more fright
ened.
"The g~eneral--oh, holy Moses, I'll
be cashieredI' said poor Charlie in a
terrified under tone. He had turned as
white as a ghost. The whisper went
round, "Mum Is the word" l do not
know how the parade went off; it
seemed an eternity that short hour.
Then would come the terrible denoue-
ment. The parade came to end at last,
and we all hurried to the mess TO con-
suit on the situation. Before the colo
mel left the ground he received a PEN
ciIed note from the general, requesting
his presence at the majors bungalow,
while we awaited the result Of the IN
teryIew in fear and trembling.
"You cannot return the stolen pro.
perty, Charlie; what will you do with
it2"
keep the bundle till dusk and bury
it. / feel like Eugene Aram after the
murder, " he whispered.
About an hour had elapsed when the
colonel sauntered into the mess with a
comical smile ripping all over his hand
some e~ountenance. We held our breath.
st seems" said he, addressing no
one in particular, that those hill ras-
Gals have been at their work again.
They despoiled the general last night
of everything-even his shirtl"
We ~laughed-a frightened sort of
laugh-wondering what was coming
next.
ut can't be possible Colonell" ex-
claimed Carter In well -simulated aston
ishment. His shirt eyenl-ohl the
rasealsl'
mot so fast, please; they have un-
knowingly done us a right good turn.
The General came down in the worst
of ill-humors to give the regiment a
thorough overhauling-and you all
know how badly we are prepared just
now for an inspection. Well, he has
given up the idea, and departs to-day
in an Quilt L have left him. believing
that the idea of natives stealing rifles
from a tent occupied by British soldiers