Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-03-17
The DRUMMER OIL, IT.
A Class Of Honest and Enthusiastic
Nuisances Who Never Die.

a <hhss ob uOnest anu
Nuisances Who Never Die.
All Investigations by arch;rologists into tho
various races and their history break on an
ineeplicable influence that seems to connect
widely different places, periods and peoples.
They find cid jars in use in India that the
mound builders had here, and they come
across iron teaspoons in the primcvai forest
oeds of coal They are astonished To find the
yridiron Of the north nj Ireland figuring in
the social life Of China three or fou: thousand
years ago. The Bcdouin Arab has the army
blanket of the Esquiinauz, and in the ruins Of
Pompeii they come across peanut shells like
what the sweeper sweeps out o. the gallery Of
the theatre to-day. Well, why is tbisi Archa'-
ologists cannot tell | can The mysterious
ubiquitous influence that leaves no track save
the article is simply the drummer. IL was
the drummer who did il all He left those
curious Grpcian scrolls in Egypt; he carved
those hieroslyphics on the rocks "f ancient
Britain: he is the man who introduced French
candy into ii'rculancun and stuck the
mound builder, with iron teaspoons.
Do YOU ever know what becomes of
drummer: Not that YOU care, but have you
ever seen dead drummer. don't believe
drumm.rs die. | lie ieye they simply talk
themselves into gas. Gas thou art, to gas
returneSt," was written OF the drummer.
have met one Or two men who have been
drummers, but they do not talk much about
it. When q drummer gets tired of talking
he just disappears. | 10 not see how this
country survives the existence of drummers.
You go into "A small country place; yon step
into the hotel: YOU find in the office sixteen
coats hanging up ON the wall and sixteen
valises in row on the floor. antl siXte-.n men
sitting with their thirty two feet up on thc
stove, telling sixteen lies about their buslnt>>
and their adventures. all at one time lou
can't get what You want in that town. The
drummers have made tue store keepers buy
what they have to sell, and you've got to TAX
1t or 60 without. 1t seems ;ilnnst impossiblg
to believe that drummer should ever bt
able to disguise his identity. He is, As rule
aggressive and runs things.
IL you n man come into the office OF
hotel AMI step up timitily 10 the counter and
ask the clerk if there ere any letters for HIM,
please, you may know that he's humble
private citizen and plain guest. If you SEE
"A fellow bang open the door, stride in and
leave it open behind hiT, go and hang hi
coat Oh Il peg and jam his valise on the floor,
walk behind the ,our,ter, take out all the let
ters and read thu addresses from every box,
open the drawer and look in, then you II know
its a drummer--gool for one nights lodging
and several drinks. He generally lets every
body know that he's sold :. lot OF stuff, and b.
talks very loud about the fun he's had some
times. But they told n,e of one drummer
who called himself a count, and wore long
fur lined ulster and an imposing foreign look
ing mustache He came in the summer sea
son ami stayed long time. He was the rage:
the girls fell i'll love with him; the mamma
admired him. he was on the eve Of getting
engaged to . naughty San Francisco belle,
when a lady walked into n drug store one day
and found him with lot OF samples Of soap,
trying To stick tine proprietor with his stock,
That let him out and he disappeared. But
the profession disownei him. for n rule tn.
drummer is straightforward, open, honest
and enthusiastic nuisance.-Sau Francisco
Chronicle