Idaho news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1887-1891, 1887-09-24
THE "cLEvER FELLOW"
The Man Who Sc Every body's Friend
But Ills own-A Familiar Charac-
ter as Every where Found.

uNnAAbAbDH AtlE AOAAAAN
you should 20 cunning for him in the
winter you would find him in the viii
lage store which kept the best fire. II |
you went trapping for him you would |
set your trap for him in the cracker
barrel If you wanted to creep up and
catch him in the summer you would
find him on salt-barrel in front Of a
store on the south side Of the street If
IL did not rain. Summer or winter You
will lind him smoking cheap tobacco in
a clay pipe, unless it be election time,
and then you will find him smoking
cigar which would blister tomato
can.
He carries his hands in his pockets.
His trousers are worn out around the
delta. He gets his hair cut so seldom
that when it is cut there is wide mar
| gin of pallor which makes him look as
though he had had long run Of fever
Why do you call him clever fellow?
Because he never hurt anybody. He
never stirred around and got the start
| of ANYBODY and made big trade. He
never gets interested in politics and
argues until someone wants to destroy
him off the earth. His information on
general subjects is large and compre..
hensiYe. He is the village and subur-
ban Il rectory. He remembers when
the mercury went down to % once be-
fore. II was Jan. %, 1868. The snow
was four feet deep that winter and lay
on the ground till April.
He is authority on the genealoSy OF
every family in the village. He will
take out his pipe. reach around and
scratch his back and say, Jim Smith s
first wife WAS a Simmons Come up
from Solsyille way; the Simmonses that
kept the tavern. and the Oldest boy BIT
into the Mexican war. He hadn't but
one leg and got pension and belong
ed 10 The Methodist church and board
ed mostly at old Ripper Browns, an
he peddled essences an thread an sus-
/. penders and he'd wart on his nose.
Thus he can go on for hours and give
you solid facts about every family in
the vicinity.
: In the romantic realm of love Inc
rules as very Cupid devoid of bow
: and arrows. and clothed in suit Of
] blue Jeans and a stale smell of tobacco
' Would you know who took Araminti
: out riding. or who pulled down the
a blinds at Belinda's abode. you mus
S consult our hero. Many and rich arr
G the Jokes he cracks from his throne oil
g the Goldfish box at the store, and ho
T are the bushes he evokes on the cheei
! of the adolescent youth.
7, he is handy and willing TO hell
o everybody only himself is cellar
3 being dug. there you may find bin
0 with his hands in his pockets, hi
:, back against tree, and pipe in hi
:. mouth helping to dig that cellar
l. Wisely and carefully does he expector
n ate every time shovelful of dirt fall
e at his feet. Has the merchant casI
u of molasses TO roll into the cellar
u Then OH the long rope away back on
y In the middle of the road, YOU will fin
re the clever fellow with his hands out Q
ls his rockets and his pipe laid away
sc ready 10 lower on the long rope and
d. he gets partially asleep and the rop
ne Jerks him forward on his nose il WI
20 add interest TO the scene, and max
IN the village look lively. He is ais
r great when horse or cow is slcl
al He ALWAYS has a receipt for sic
re horse. He suggests salts, or soap, q
St bleeding under the tongue, or alum,
e. A half pound of soda. You never sa
e. such a willing fellow, and the gray,
at stone peddler or drummer who owl
he the sick horse is so grateful that |
~ wants to knock the clever fello
Il, through the side of the barn. He WI
a sit up all night with a sick COW an
d, smoke, and the COW generally dies.
p His ideas on art are more this
IT. twenty laps ahead of Raphael
"a Phidias. He comes out strong wht
It, somebody is having a house painte
OF He will help carry the ladders and m
en- the paints, and then sit on the 4
is board of the fence across the way al
ge roll out a whole treatise on the ha
zee monv Of colors. Everybody in q
X. village calls on him for help.
ier carries the paste when the circus bi
lir are put up. He bosses the digging
he the hole when the republican a
rs; democratic poles are respectively p
en- nm. He rets an ear blown 10 ra
OF and his face full of powder firing I
he anvil ON 'fhe Fourth" In fact lie
nna indispensable everywhere except
ne home.
els He is not a general and sweepi
or success at home. His ideas on :
ies have not vet eliminated the straw HI
ar and old coats from the windows
ar home. Good Judge of architecture
he is he vet conveys his smoke out
his house through a siX-inch stoyepl
en- in the roof. A very prophet in his q
nd vice to children. his own poor brats
barefoot until their feet look like 81
gator handbags. Handy TO help eve
he body else his own wife splits up
We woodshed door to cook his dinner, a
when he gets back to his seat on
hd salt-barrel and commences in epicu
me an style a dissertation on chick
an Said YOU will see crumbs of corn-b rt
Tor in his wiSkers.
md For this clever fellow with all
mt cieyerness does not get rich. He
OF too much TO attend to- He has no til
ar The interests of the whole village l
ack on him, and his personal affairs m
ter, suffer He is always turning gri
in, stone TO sharpen someone else's aN.
lair is like lost dog ready to bark for n
his one who will sci him on. He IS
ned eternal contradiction of some valua
Wit proverbs. or he is an early bird v
eN- never cot a worm. He is always b
nor but never making cent He has she
on himself friendly but not hell
lar friend in the world. He thinks that
ect, village could not exist If he were to
and taken away. and vet more money CT
who be raised 10 bury him than TO buy
'ted suit of clothes. Some preiudi
'ver persons say they would like to
oled Chang, the Chinese giant put O
n n y 4 Il ~ka~x