The Irish standard., 1887-12-03

j which was fortunate enough to locate
in Western Tennessee. There were sew
eral. things I objected to however. One
OF them was the whiskey. I speak OF
that because it was the most importa Mt
Industry there. Moonlight whiskey
isn't ftto drink until it is about l5O
years old, After $50 years, if you put
/ the, right ingredients il it you can feed
! it to your worst enemies. and then let
your two worst enemies fight it out.
''Let me here tell you my experience
in trying to milk a cow-a regular ira
ditional Southern COW. When WAS a
boy, ambhng along the lanes of oay ma
tive town, stealing watermelons by the
| light OF the moon, especially by tue
light OF the dark moon, I thought /
could milk anybody's COW.
Il left my home to attend to my ed-
ucation, the result Of which You can
see, and while away changed consia-
erablY, as did all the other domestic
animals. When I got home the COWS
did not recognize me. can especially
recall one Of these cows She was Il
common self-made COW, born very low,
but she bore her tail very high. and she
was very naughty COW. I made q few
remarks t. her, such remarks as / was
accustomed to make in the very best
society, when / can get into such So
ciety. told her to 'so,' and she seed.
Then / told her to hi and she >histed.
But [ think that when she dld she put
too much expression or it. lustthen I
heard something crash throught q win
dow near by, with a dull, sickening
thud. My parents came to SEE what the
trouble was, and they found their son.
I asked them if the barn was standing.
They said 1t was. / asked them if the
COW was hurt. They said she was still
vigorous. They carried e.into the
house OH the chicken coop door. I
laid there q week.
my father came to me and said, i
forgot to tell you about that cow She's
a highored {. f. v. cow
"Yes." +" I said, you probably Gid, bat
you would have saved me a great deal
of Inconvenience if you hadn't"
tile said: You probably went down
there the wrong way. Perhaps YOU
we're singing. You've driven Off much
OF our stock i'll that way. However,
yon did right, my son. You saw You
collldn't milk her, and SO you came
riAslt away
Since that time have bought all OF
my own milk. found q gente, meek
n1ilkman, in whom could trust if he
could crust me.
.'Another thing that is wrong in the
South is The dogs. The dogs OF that
country remind me OF ray own, "a dog
with whom | associated with many
yeass in the far west.
when / first went West, didn't
feel worthy of a dog, but finally | Sc
cured one, a DOG OF q bvindle color,
where he had any hair, a sort OF a seal
brown color where he didn't have any
hair
Il had some difficulty III choosing an
appropriate name for nay doc. finally
called him Eutomologis!;. for entomolo-
gist, you will rscco!lecU, is one who
makes large and rare collections Of ln-
sects. Mis choicest characteristics was
to eat something that didn It agree with
him and then come III my tent and re-
gret it.
Il missed him one day, and Oh going
out found him trying to eat a rswhlde !
ariat. He had eaten fifteen feet Of
this lariat, when he found that the
other end was fastened to an iron pin |
which WIS fastened in the ground. |
This Was q very embara ssing position |
to be placed in,
"He moved to consider the motion
was qnashed and / cut the lariat.' |