The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-19
BRIGHT BITS.

JOHN said the wife of a Kentucky editor.
your patent combination pocket knife is all
ruSty--all but the corkscrew part. ~ Washing
ton Critic.
TIL teach you how to tear your pants" said
an rate parent, swinging a strap; I'll teach
Don't hit me, pa know how already. Just
look at emf PHILADELPHIA Call
WIEN cigarettes their vapors blow
In peoples throats and choke them,
Ii is some comfort slightto know,
They kill the dudes that smoke them.
Warrington Critic.
ALARMED PEDESTRIAN picking up painter at
the foot If ladder)-My poor man, are you
hurt much?
Painter-Only three ribs broken. But went
down with eoiors flying, didn't l Philadelphia
Call
OK the lawn, in the cleaning.
Miss Candid Observation-Disclosures would you
say, Mr. Jackpot, if confessed to you that
am 4Ol''
Jackpot (promptlyp-Goyo you ten better.-To,cn
Topics.
GiHosr-Lfst, list. list.
Hamlet-Which list
Ghost-Retired list tRetires again to his
prison house to think up another one-one of
the regular soul harrowers and blood-freeZers,
an eight minute freezer Brooklyn Eagle.
CLERGYMAS- How is your health this summer
l trust you have been well during the slIltry
weather
Undertaker-Pretty well, thank you
ClergyTnans-And how is businesss
Undertaker-PoOr, poor | haven't buried a
living soul for v eeks.-L0ireU Citizen.
ISIS, he said, do you know where my base
ball mask is I've hunted high and low for ii. -
Il didn't know you wanted to use it to-day,
Dick. said his sister, uneasily.
We'll, | do
mp stairs She found it without much trouble
-Netc FORK sun.
SUNDAY School TEACHER-You seem to re-
member what Eve was told would he the penalty
uf her disobedience, but don't think you quite
understand il. Now, in family, who is called
the head of the houses
Little Giri-The one that does the bossing
The one who directs its affairs. Now, who
does?''
well. she directs the servants, but who some
times makes her do things she don't want to
very mIchg''
Il do."-Op1Ghd World
"OH. know | can't" sobbed the woman after
she returned from her husbands funeral II
just know l can't think of anything else with
poor John in the-the-t-o-o-m-b and she
broke down again.
There was very large attendance at the
poor woman's mind into some other channel
Mrs. General Parade was present.
was Mrs. General Parade theres"
Yes"
''What-wh-what did she have ong'' and the
poor widow burst into tears anew.-Ddkota
Bell
Hasn't been a stray young woman picked up
and brought in to-day" he inquired at police
headquarters last night
No sir"
Any report of anybody being drownedg''
No
Anybody run over and killed.
NO Some of your friends missing?"
We'll. l agreed to meet my girl at the office
Of the Justice of the Peace at 10 o'clock this
forenoon, and we were 10 be married. but she
didn't show up
That's very strange. Was she welg''
Yes, in tip-top healthT''
And you are greatly disappointed, of
course?'
Not so very much kinder thought if she
came around there we'd kinder get married,
but hadn't sOt any hopes on it. She's the
third one who has jumped me inside of two
weeks, and I've learned not TO bet my hat on
anything going to happen in no such world as
this, Oh-hum - Detroit Free Press