davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08

IRIsHMEN are proverbially quickwitted
but several of them missed the point OF
our editorial note in Saturdays issue OF
the ADVERTISER, regarding the applica-
ton of the Coercion Act to Ireland. The
bald statement of English policy in that
country, and the atrocious attempt to
put an extinguisher upon popular agita-
ton by the strong arm, was calculated,
we admit, to excite Indignation; but in
presenting the Irish case we desired to
bring that of Hawaii home to the breast
Of every lover of fair play in the King
dom. We carefully adhered to the
spirit and language employed by the
Government organ when threatening to
put an extinguisher, by the strong arm,
upon the agitation OF native Hawaiians
against the new organic law which i'm
poses civil disabilities upon them, and
in the framing of which they had no
voice. That which is repulsive to JUS
tice IN the case of Ireland cannot be
right and proper in the case of Hawaii.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
T H z:


THE Minister of the Interior has acted
upon our suggestion, and appointed com
missioners to establish the grade OF
streets and highways, and the grades
and widths of sidewalks in the city of
Honolulu. The Commissioners are VIM.
+. ROwell, Curtis J. Lyons and w. r.
Lawrence. Their duties are merely
formal, the engineering work having
been already done
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
The Truth of 1t.

Miss Cockett-YelIOw roses are supposed
20 Indicate hirtatiousness and moss roses love,
do they not, Mr.. Nsversnnilel
Mr.. Neversnile-So I'm told; and white
roses means silence
Miss Cockett-WeIl, what do these large
cabbage roses and Jacks mean7
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures Miss Cockett
bankruptcy every time-Harper's Bazar.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Governor nOminIa

Hon. Curtis P. Iaukea having resigned
the Governorship of the Island of Oahu,
it has pleased His Majesty the King to
commission Hon. John O. Dominis to
that office. This announcement will be
satisfactory to all classes, native and for
eign alike.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Pride and It's FaIl.

First Omaha Guild (proudly)-Were going
to St Fashion springs this summer.
Second Omaha Child sympathetically)-
Is sorry your papa is so poor.
"Why, IS hat being pooTP
"Of course. We don't have to 90 70 any
springs, We've got ter."-Omaha World
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
The TnweIcnme Gnassed.

Hello Prettyman are you stopping at the
Laceden' Il am staying at the Laclede, but
I am not stopping anywhere" "Oh, that's
so. l didn't know. The clerk told me you
stopped paving board last Christmas and
hadn't showed up cent since, so l reckoned
you might call it stopping somewhere.-Bur-
LIEfra
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Fire on a.EsIanfatIom

\ serious fire occurred last Tuesday on
Maxwell Plantation (Messrs. Gay &
Robinson's), Kauai. About twenty
acres OF standing cane were burned.
The fire is supposed to have been the
work OF an incendiary.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Probably a Campaign Lie"

First Lady Voter-Did you use those
ballots gave YOU to vote, yesterday
Second Lady Foter-No, didn't, Maria,
I'm ashamed to say. They made such beauti-
full curl papers. couldn't bear to waste EN-.
Burlington WI Free Presa
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08

The Honolulu Almanac and Directory.'
for 1887 is now on sale at J. II. Soper's
and \. NJ. Hewett's news depots. and at
this Office. Price. 50 cents.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
A Xerhatim Rennrter

''Did you tell your mother I was going to
have a new bonnet at Eastern inquired a
lady Of neighbours child who was visiting
her own children.
''Yes, maam answered the little girl
"And what cid she sayY7
ooh, she said the fools are not all dead yet, -
answered the child innocently. Detroit Free
Prnsa
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Very Common Here.

There is q church at Bergen, Norway,
constituted Of paper" This is not 50 remark
able, considering that in this country many
valuable gold and silver mines" can be found
only on Experimentation Herald
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Worss and Worse.

DoctOr-You have had a bad case of dys-
pepsia. Have you ever worked in a railway
eating house3
PatIent-No, sir; I am janitor in cooking
school Free Press.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Where BE BOUGHT Him.

Fogg-What did you pay for that horse
Dumley-Two hundred dollars
Fogg-Two hundred dollars You must
have bought him at a church fair.-Detroit
E,res Pres
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
Kwite FOnetiC.

A farmer once called his COW Zephyr"
She seemed such an amiable hephyT.
When the farmer drew near,
She kicked OF his ear,
And now the old farmers much dephyr.
Dry Goods Chronicle.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-08-08
An Annual Wall.

Now boils the sap, and far Vermont
Rejoices at the ceaseless font
In naples truntIs,
But grocers tap moiasses kegs,
And in dark cellars boil the dregs
With last years hunks
New Haven News.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

OF the large sharks one of the
commonest is the "fOx shark" or
thrasher." 1t is found on the
British and on the Mediterranean
and Atlantic coasts, as also on the
coasts of California and New Zea.
land. The "thrasher reaches a
length of fifteen feet, of which the
tail makes more than one-half, and
is quite harmless to man. 1t fol-
lows the shoals of herrings, pile
hards and sprats in their migra-
tions, destroying incredible num-
bers. Its method Of attack gives
it its name, as in feeding it uses
the long tail for splashing the sur
face of the water, while it swims in
gradually decreasing circles around
a shoal of fishes, which are thus
kept so close together as to fall an
easy prey to their enemy. Gunther
does not credit the statements that
it has been seen to attack whales
and other large cetaceans, and
thinks they rest upon erroneous
observations.
The basking shark" is tho
largest ofthe North Atlantic sharks,
growing to a length of more than
thirty feet. On the west coast Of
Ireland it is chased for the oil,
which is extracted from the liver,
one fish yielding from n ton to
ton and a half. 1t derives its
name from the fact that many
specimens may be seen in calm
weather lying together motionless,
with the upper part of the back
raised above the surface of the
water.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

Col. Forney, in a Press article,
used the expression: "Strained at
gnat and swallowed o camel"
The editorial proof came down:
Strained at a KNOT and swallowed
a camel" The proof was corrected
three times and returned with the
object of the distinguished editors
wrath still straining at that ire
pressible knot. Furious, the colonel
rushed to the composing room,
found the man who had set up his
leader, and in pure, vigorous Saxon
informed the printer that, as editor,
Col. Forney decided what words
would be used on the editorial page.
The printer listened while the colo
mel informed him that he had
learned how to spell before ho
started the Philadelphia Press.
With the explosion Of some more
vigor of the blankety-blank persua-
sion the editor turned to leave,
when the printer quietly held up
the original. The colonel's gnat
stood out boldly KNAr, and the
great writer, who had rushed in
like a lion, left that smiling com.
posing room like a lamb.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

The process of making thimbles
is described as follows: Bright new
silver coins are reduced to ingots
by melting in crucibles. They are
then rolled into the required thick
ness and cut by a stamp into cir
cular pieces Of the required size.
These circular disks are placed un-
der a solid metal of bar of the size
of the inside of the thimble, which
moved by powerful machinery, de-
scends in a bottomless mold of the
size of the outside Of the thimble
and presses the metal into the de-
sired shape at single blow. The
remaining operations of brighten
ing, polishing and decorating are
performed by means of a lathe.
First, the blank form is fitted with
a rapidly revolving rod; a slight
touch of a sharp chissel takes a
thin shaving from the end; another
does the same on the side, while a
third rounds off the rim. The pol
ishing is done by round steel rod, ,
which is dipped in oil and pressed
upon the surface. Small revolving
steel wheels held against the revolv-
ing blank pierce the indentations
on the lower half and end Of the
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

The melancholy fact is that we
have Gen. Malone in public life.
and in public life he will stay, as
an active worker, if nothing else,
until the fate of Virginia has been
decided. His objects are known.
He aspires to control the next leg
islature, to fill Riddleberger's place,
to carry the republican vote of Vir-
ginia to the next convention of his
party, and to secure a place with
Sherman on the ticket or portfo-
lilo i'm his cabinet. Incidentally he
will try to punish his enemies and
reward his friends. How he will
manage his campaign, as to the
details of the work, we ought to
know. He is a most able and in
dustrious man in administration,
and all his energies will be put
forth in the coming struggle. 1t
must be for him the death grapple,
and with this knowledge to stimu-
late him it would be folly in us to
underrate the vigor of the exertions
which he will put forth. We have
always done justice to his ability,
but We see no reason to fear his
Vaccinations, provided the demo
Gratis show themselves equal to the
occasiUn.-Norfolk Landmark.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

1t is said that the prettiest girl
in the employ of the government is
a copyist in the navy department.
This is saying good deal, as about
1000 women hold positions in
Washington, and probably 1000
more in other parts of the country
are receiving salaries from Uncle
Sam. Some of the "countesses," "
as the girls employed in the treas
ury are called, are very pretty, but
the belle of the navy is entitled to
the apple of Paris. She is a niece
of our minister to England, Phelps,
and her family reside in this city.
For about four years the young
lady has been employed as type
writer in the office of Commodore
Walker, the chief of the bureau of
detail, receiving a salary of 5000 a
year. She is black-eycd blonde
with a beautiful figure, and the
officers of the army are all her de-
voted slaves. She was so much
interrupted in her work by them
that Commander McCalla, in whose
room she is, was compelled to pro-
hibit the officers from interviewing
her in department hours, and got a
large screen behind which her at
fractions are now hidden. If the
commander leaves his room for a
moment there is certain to be some
bold young tar about the building
to run in for a chat with the beauty.
and when McCalla returns the cul-
prit is profuse in his excuses. The
number of officers who have type
writing to be done is astonishing,
and they all want to superintend
the work. The young lady does
not appear to be aware Of her at
fractions, but cannot help noticing
that the other typewriters are not
in such demand as herself. When
she leaves the department at night
there are generally two or more
officers accidentally waiting in the
corridor to escort her safely down
the elevator and see her to the
street car.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16
SONG OF THE SlllRr.
Sewing women in New York.

Sewing women in New York, 40
cording to Il writer in the New
York Times, are most wretchedly
paid. The young women of the
well-to-do families who used to be
able to maintain themselves by
taking home sewing for the manu-
featuring firms find themselves un-
able to earn their car fares since
the cuts in the prices of the past
few years; while the poor women
in the tenements who eked out q
scanty living by such work are
simply unable to exist. Three
years ago s17 per dozen was paid
for cloaks, but this price has been
successfully reduced to $12, 80, $6,
50, 81 and So, until it is now 81 80
per dozen. Dress suits, hannels
and sacques, are 81 50 per dozen;
fancy wrappers are 81 per dozen;
plain, so cents. Plain chemises,
80 cents per dozen; fancy chemises,
80 cents; aprons being Z cents
each; wide-hemmed hankerchiefs
are A cents per dozen; narrow
bordered handkerchiefs, 2 cents per
dozen; white sacques tucked are
50 per dozen; skirt and sacque,
"a and " per dozen; jerseys being
30 cents per dozen, or 8 and 3
cents each. The women have to
supply the thread, the silk costing
80 cents per spool. The work has
to be delivered on alternate days,
and often the item of car fares to
those living in the suburbs equals
the receipts at these rates. The
manufacturers claim to be unable
to pay any better, because their
rates to the retail dealers have been
reduced, and the latter assert that
the competition has brought the
selling prices to cost.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

l have been asked about ladies'
prospecting. / have a lady friend
who, while on a summer trip in the
mountains, found an outcropping
of ore on the surface and located a
claim which sold for $1,000. Min
ing for gold is a fine art, for in a
whole ton Of earth you will proba-
bly, get no more than an ounce of
gold, and that in such minute par
ticles that one would need a micro
scope to find them. l have another
lady friend who is a fine Judge of
ores and lives in a beautiful little
cottage, with her husband, near
some large mines he owns. There
is also lady in Gunnison county
who owns and works large mine
and gives it her personal super
vision. She has her own home,
where she boards the miners and
tends them in sickness. My last
year has been very profitable in a
financial way, and l could have
done nothing half so lucrative in
any other business. OF course, |
have bought my experience dearly,
but | have spent a great deal of
time in studying the matter up. l
own mines in Eagle, Summit and
Boulder counties, and to people
who understand mining districts
they are three of the best counties
in Colorado for both silver and
gold. Then | own One-fourth of a
claim of a group Of twenty mines
called the Table Group, eleven of
which are developed. The deed
stands in my name and the mines
are in the hands of London and
New York firms. In these days,
when all the professions are studied
by ladies, hotels and manufactures
run by them, and even steamboat
license obtained by one of our sex,
it seems to me that mining is one
of the easiest of all these. The
wealthiest woman in Colorado,
Mrs. Bishop Hiff Warren, made
her own money, and is now worth
S10,OOO,0OO. She made her money
on cattle. Ladies are too apathetic,
and are bound down by conven-
ticnalities, and we are too often
kept back by advice from the men
Of our families, who are always
egotistical enough to think they
can make enough. The women of
Chicago and New York deal in
stocks, in wheat, oil and consuls,
and why not in mining stocks?
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

A privileged character about the
court house is a very large white
rat. His ratship is very quiet and
peaceable, except when he catches
sight of another rat Of the ordinary
species. This happened the other
day. An enormous brown fellow,
with a tail about a foot long, was
caught and turned loose in the
same room with tho white one.
They eyed each other for . minute
and the white rat made for the In
truder. The fight was brief and
bloody. For a few seconds there
was an indiscriminate mingling Of
white rat and brown rat; Arst ono
on top and then the other, but ~
white one soon faatened bis long,
sharp teeth in the chest Of The other
and held on with . death g1ip until
the other rolled over dead. Quit.
man, Ca, Free Press,
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

cold Doc," one of Missouri's
warhorses, has just died. We was
foaled near Bloomington, ILL.,, on
the 10th of May, 1853. In 1861 he
was purchased by Captain Withers
of Company G, Eighth Illinois
Cavalry, and ridden by him through
out the war. In Sherman's march
this horse headed a column march
ing through Georgia to the sea. In
a charge at Atlanta the horse re-
ceived four mimic balls. The ami
mails gait was a flatfooted walk,
and while on the march the cry fire.
quently went along the line, Hold
'Old Doc back |" In 1865 Cap
tain Withers bought q farm near
Knoxville, Mo-, where "Old Docs "
unceasing toll went on in the field
or under the saddle on the road
until two years ago, when he was
set free and had every care be-
slowed upon him his great age and
services demanded.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

When you rest you can lie, but
when you are at work it is better
to tell the truth.
A Tyre five feet high has been
found by DR.. Schlieman. He is
going to have it study law.
Truth lies at the bottom OF a
we'll, but if you want falsehood in
any quantity you must 60 to the
tombstones.
If Ananias had lived nowadays
his preventative ability would never
have handed his name down to
pesterity.
The cock crowed when Peter
lied. Liars have become so nu-
merous nowadays that cast-iron
chestnut bell has been substituted
for the rooster.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

One often hears the expression
that horse don't know it's strength.
That is a mistake. A horse is fully
aware of it's strength, but, owing to
a popularity of its optic lens, it is
kept in a constant state of intimi-
dation. A horses eye magnifies
nearly six diameters, and a mau
looks like a giant to it. Queer,
isn't it? but true. A series OF
curious experiments recently made
by Parisian savants have establish
ed it. beyond question. That ac-
counts fof many of the odd fits Of
fright the best horses are subject to.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

The KEYSTONE has long been acknowa-
edged to be the sole representative Of the
Great Upper Wood River and SawtoOth
mining regions. and, located rs 1t Is in the
very heart Of the most promising mining
country on the face of the earth. and leav-
ing nothing undone to present its readers .
complete synopsis of all mining news and
developments, us well as matters Of local
importance in the growth of kctchum, the
future metropolis of Idaho, it is an invalus-
Bile guide for capital and informant to the
settler Of every craft and position. Sub
scribe for it, read it. and let your friends
read what may benefit them.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16
elders long-windedness by punch
ing their wagon-pole right through
the side of the meeting-hOuse.

! A"6 s"CA "0kOA-PO1C AASHU eAAOuSA
the side of the Westinghouse.
really felt under a sort of personal
obligation to the old horses, and
guess l wasn't alone in the feeling
either. I'd give good deal, l as
sure you, to go through that lively
day again."
Milk and churches Both seem
texts for jubilation. Mr.. Gould
laughed and was gleeful. He looked
as if he spoke truth in every sylla-
BILE as he remarked: "These old
days and their experiences were
better than cash-a good deal better.
Then once more this magnate,
the owner of score Of railroads,
an assortment of legislatures, a
judge or two, and luxuries of that
sort, once more he produced his
conundrum:
AFTER all, what does any man,
however rich he may be, get in this
world except his board and his
clothes and a place to liver"
Mr.. Gould cited some of the dis
tresses of his own fate. " l am alb
solutely out of business" he de-
clared land he heard no imperti-
nent chesnut belly. 81 am out of
business now. I've got all / can do
to attend to my own private affairs.
I've nothing any more to do with
the stock market, and Pm acquir-
ing no new properties, railways or
anything else. All the gossip you
hear to the contrary is untrue.
Why, as it is, l am kept on the
drive now from early in the morn
ing till late at night, without any
let up, day in and day out. The
money I've made has enslaved me-
With financial success, cares and
responsibilities and trials unnum-
bered go close together, and there's
no escaping the embarrassments
and troubles. A rich man ought
to be judged pretty generously. He
has a good deal more to contend
with than people who aren't rich
generally suppose"
II think / could find a citizen or
two who would be willing to relieve
you," suggested the reporter.
Mr.. Gould did not ask for their
addresses. He only repeated !:
Food and clothes and a place to
sleep-that's all a man gets in this
world, l don't care how rich he is.
The boy on the farm, the man who
isn't driven to death to look for
property that is in his name, they
are the happiest-or ought to be-"
S'pose we changer" ventured
the reporter.
Mr.. Gould began a remark, but
right in the middle of his first word
into the corridor strobe broker J.
G. Moore. Mr.. Gould's eyes lighted
on him, and Mr.. Gould grasped his
hand. John G. Moore is a gentle
man every inch of him, but there is
one reporter in this town who may
60 to his grave bowed down by the
thought that but Mr.. Moore's APP
pearance he might have made a
comfortable swap with Jay Gould.
AS it was, Mr.. Gould seemed to
make a sudden resolution to bear
up under the burden of his millions
himself.
Still, rich as he is, burdened by
hard cash as he is. Overworked as
he is, still Mr.. Gould does meet
with kindness in some quarters.
Every mail brings him assurances
of some correspondents expressed
willingness to help spend the bur-
dening millions.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16
ITY, IDAHO, SATURDAY, APRIL 16, 1887.

thimble; the ornamentation is ac-
complished by similar process.
All that remains to be done to the
thimble is to brighten and polish
the insides, boil them in soapsuds
to remove the oil, brush them up
and pack them for the market.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16

Young housekeeper (timidly y
Isn't IA cents rather high for tur-
key? / am quite sure the price
across the way is only 13.
Butcher-With the feet on?
YH.-N-no, / think the feet are
cut off.
B with a superior SMILEY
thought 50. When we sell tur-
kew. ma'am, we sell it feet and oil.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-04-16
A verv old ladv on her death-bed

A very old lady on her death-bed,
in a renitential mood, said: u
have been a great sinner more than
eighty years, and didn't know it,
An old darkey woman who had
lived with her long time, replied /:
HLawsl / knowed it all the time'