The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-14
BRIGHT BITS.

y
be less going and more paying-LotceH Citizen.
If you think nobody cares for you in this
cold world just try TO play the fiddle in popu-
lous neighborhood.- Indicator.
THE answer given by little girl in our public
school, when asked what hygiene was, SAD:
Tell me what logene is, and then wlll.-WdteF-
loo Observer.
A COUNTRY GIRL getting off railway train at
Prison Point was asked by polite young man
if he might help her to alight. No, thank
YOU, said she; II don't smoke!-ChdrleStololI
Enterprise.
THE editorial association of Missouri has met
and solemnly resolved that it will take no more
railroad passes. 1t will take no more for the
reason that an elephant will not climb tree
San francisco Aita.
Il TELL YOU, it's all nonsense" said the editor,
after selling six sacks of declined manuscripts
TO the junk dealer, and sorting over S1l worth
of unused postage stamps-'it'S all nonsense
to contend that there are no profits in itera-
ture. Life.
s'dY SON. can you tell me the difference be-
tween doctrine and dog-ma?'
Yes, pa
And what is it?''
You have to pay a tax on dogma. MORO
thOn Independent.
THE difference between a dude and hog is
that one is dressed to kill and the other killed to
dress.-Ndtional Weekly.
A MARRIED MAN remarks that the principal
bonnet is about S12.-Minne1pOtiS Journal.
WEALTHY Observation-Disclosures you here again!
Why, knocked you down stairs and out into
the street this morning, you impudent fellow.
Peddler-Ish dot so? Vat a splendid memory
had forgotten all about 1t. Don't you want to
buy fodder duster before you kick me out some
more!-Te.rds SittingS
BosroN City Oficial-Anything wrong with
your money. miss?
Schoolmarm-Yes you gave me a counterfeit
soc. piece when got my salary yesterday.
Boston City Official-Ah. l see; you want
better half
Schoolmarm-Wel don't know; you'll have
to ask father.-Iid-BitS
'sAY, grandma, do people always paint the
devil with red clothes on because he is wicked
and has evil spirits near him all the time?'
| Yes, dearie red is the color of wickedness
and sin" (
''Wen then, is it because grandpa has had
| spirits near him that his nose has got so red?'
And grandma suddenly commenced to knit
and said she didn't know.-NeWdTt (N. ~ Call.
THE correspondent of a weekly contemporary
supplies a few more genuine instances of N1ala-
| propisms. Thus we hear of cholera morbuS be-
| ing turned into ''mollery corbus," and of local
light bidding some one beware of ''inunda-
| tons in religion. Amusing. too, is the unin-
| territorial perverson of a well known line
| From Iceland's greasy mountains" A vii
lager asked if a Mr.. NJ. lived in a certain house.
| replied, Yes, he lives there, but he is dead"
| But that is rather an IriShiSm than a Malaprop.
London Globe.
OMAHA MANI was much surprised to hear
that the Boston Symphony Orchestra was a
J great popular success in Cincinnati.
| Cincinnati MAn-Successl 1t got the people
| just wild with enthusiasm.
But Theodore Thomas played symphonies
and his Cincinnati seasons were fiat failures. -
YES, but the Boston Symphony Orchestra
| plays the symphonies while the people are COM
ing in, and after everybody gets seated and
| ready to listen they start off onto things with
I.some go in 'cm.-On1dhd World.
FIRST OMAHA MAN-What keeps you indoors
| so muchnOw?
! Second Omaha Mani am working on a new
idea, and want to get it patented as soon as pos
sible. It's fishing rod.
Shouldn't think there would be much chance
| for improvement in fishing rods"
This is a new sort of folding affair. which,
| when taken apart presents the appearance of
| having been broken by accident There is also
! inside the handle space for set of snake rat
| ties"
What earthly use will such continuance
| be-"
''Why, you see, when man comes home
without any fish and his jug empty, he can hand
his wife the pole and show her the rattles of the
snake that bit him.-Ondhd World