Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-11


 ''I should say we were getting the very worst pieces of it."-Washington Critic.
 Episcopal Mother, catechising her children What is the outward sign or visible form of baptism? Little Girl of seven-The baby. What is the difference between flood and an angry brakemans One breaks the dam and the other swears with considerable vigor. s'~----------~---zz
 A railway from Chicago direct to the city of Mexico is projected. With few more additional facilities for leaving the city life in Chicago will become bearable.
 Trying to do business without advertising Is like winking at pretty girl through pair of green goggles. You may know what you are doing, but nobody else does.
 They say there's nothing new under the sun, said the old maid as she stood before the looking glass. "But I know better; there's wrinkle that was not there yester- day"
 Hungry guest-How is thisa ordered a steak and poached egg; see the egg, but where is the steak? Table attendant-Dat's all right, sah. De steak am under the egg. Chicago Rambler.
 A cruel dialogue at the toboggan slide She-"Oh, I'm afraid my ears are frozen! Won't you take some snow and thaw tkem outs" He-"1'm afraid they couldn't spare the esnow."-Burlingto Free Press.
 
 winter that I have worn this cloak, dear, and Pm very tired of it. Besides, brown is not becoming to me at all." Husband Ia man of rsource)-'Why not have it dyed9-Puck.
 When Chinaman does not desire visi- ter to stay to dinner he politely asks him to remain to dine. The date of the introduc- tion of this American custom into China is not given.-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
 "Pa,'' said little Johnny McSwillingan, | a5 IL Al sites.' What are they?" 'iParis-ites, ," my boy, are people who live in Paris. I think you ought to know that, and you in third reader. .'-Tid Bits.
 "My husband is very absent-minded man," said Mrs Slowboy. "He very often takes one thing for another" ''I know it," said MT. Badman. 'I saw him take hot toddy last night and he said he took it for cold. d."-Brooklyn Eagle
 s'Was there nothing in ny story" re- proachfully writes Augustus, ''that was good for anything?" Bless you, yes. Augustus, the three stamps enclosed in it for return postage were good for cents Howells' self never used better ones.-Burdette.
 Crippled French.-Salesman- -s'This neck lace was made from diamonds taken from an old aigTette, and a." Curious Chicago Buyer-'Excuse me, but I always like to know the history of my jewels. What did they take them away from her for?"-Puck.
 "Here," said a victim who had bought one, 'Ethese pies are made of dried peaches, and they are cold at that. Why do you call them hot apple piess' And the Irishman was kind enough to reply: 'tI don't care; that's the name of lem. Hot opple poies! Hot opple poies"-Electrical Review.
 A messenger boy from Commodore Bate mans Wall street office was sent out yester- day to hunt up MT. Harvey Durand, with the message that Commodore Bateman wanted to see him. The youth returned and reported that Mir. Durand was in Delmonico's. s'Any body with him?" asked the commodore. "Yes, sir, replied the lad, "a gentleman and six brokers. ."-New York Sun. q hope you don't contemplate suicide, madam" observed the patrolman at the fer ry dock to woman who had been hanging around there for some time. ''Don't be a fool!" she bluntly replied. ''Take the case home to yourself. If you were me and you expected your husband to come over on the next boat with woman he's trying to run away with would you be thinking of suicide or of breaking both their necks:"-Detroit Free Press.