The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-10-05
HUMORo

Too FOND Of their cups-Yaohtsmen.
a MANrEL sHELF--A girls shoulders.
Our OF SEASONAL empty pepper
box
IT is wise stock that knows its own
par.
M1cHELET writes: Woman is the
Sunday of man," that is to say the
other days are the weak ones.
ENGLAND may be mistress Of the
C's," but she has never been able to
fairly master the H's.-EoSton Ga
zctte.
A AFREScH philosopher says: "The
surest way to please is to forget ones
self" This is also the surest method
of making an ass Of ones self.-Te1as
! SJting<.
The American Missionary Society
sent 5000 pairs of trousers to Burmah
last year. This is charity that cover
eth multitude of shins. -$omerrtte
(Mass.) Journal.
"CoME out of that, you brigand, You
rascal, you assassin" screamed his gen
tie companion $50, madame" he re-
piled calmly, Il won't come out am
going to show you that I shall do as l
please in my own house"
F.! FoGG-What do you think of Dole ?
Bogg-I think he is one of the biggest
liars I ever knew. Fogg-Of course;
he said I was fool the other day.
Bogg-Indeed! Well, 1 may have
misjudged him.-Tid-Eits.
PHOTOGRAPH collector -"By the
way, I've been making collection of
monstrosities lately" Frien l-"1n-
deed?" P. C.-"Yes. And that re-
minds me: will you kindly let me have
one of your photographs"
II HEAR" So d Molecule, "that Trilo-
bite has lost his mind. .iust have
been one that he borrowed the:," said
Atom, he never had one Of his own. ="
"Ah!" said Molecule, Il had forgotten
be was married" ."-Baud@tt".
Il HEARD capital story last night, :"
observed an editorial writer of one OF
our esteemed contemporaries to his
chief. All right, replied the latter
put stutter marks in it and credit it to
the late Mr.. Travers. .'-PittSb1A'g
/ Chroni"ie.
Bos7oS girl-"Tell me, my friend,
do you admire Hawthorne?' New
York girl-"Oh, my, yes I think il
is great. When We were at Saratoga,
I used to drink two big glasses Of it
every morning before breakfast. y
Lo,cel Citiz ~.
EvA-"I suppose these extremely
nice-looking young men are the stu
dents, or house surgeons or some
thing?" Maud-"No doubt. Do you
know, Eva, l should very much like tc
be hospital nurse" Eva--"HoW
strange! Why, the very same idee bas
just occurred to me.
AMATEUR actor Ito PROFESSIONAL
Have you ever been injured in any
railroad accident while travelling about
the country, Mr.. Ham? Professiona
Il had leg broken once. on my way
! from Chicago to New York. Amateur
How did it happen? Professional
Trying to get out of the way of a train
-NeW York Sun.
INSPECTOR examining class
@What is a prophet?" No answer be
ing given. he called upon the heat
scholar and put the question in thi
form: "If l were to foretell that yoi
would be sitting IN THIS school ivy
months hence, what would be? 2" Bo.
"A leer, sir; for we're gaun to ii
next week, and am mo- coming to TIL;
skule after that.
GOVERNMENT clerk Ito bosom friend
Just got myself into a horrible mess
I went yesterday to see two doctor
and obtained from each medical Ger
titicate-one certificate of health TO
the life insurance company, and th'
other certificate of illness to inclos
in my petition for leave OF absence
And there, if I didn't go and put then
IL