Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-14
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE blacksmith is the worst kind of a bore.
lie can make wheel tired.-Pstts6uro Chro1 :
tcle- Telegraph.
A NEW list of household hints contains this !:
SAT- IN The whitewash will make it stick
better" Investigating committees should
Dear lhis In mind.-Lffe.
TIE com merciaT editor was very much ex-
asperated when the proof of the wool marx ct
reached him and he read ''unwashed cow
boys" ms cad of ''unwashed comblngs."-Suh
Lake Herald.
CONE. spring! Ethereal milduess, come!
hui don't you come too fast;
Don't make us shed orr winter buds
before you come to last.
- Washington Ratchet.
IAN old settler gone" read DR.. Belus in
the obituary column OF the local paper. aud
then ne added thoughtfully: "Well, Bjenks
may nave been an odd settler in one sense. but
ne always managed to forget to settle with
me,"-LoWtSot3Ee j. ar nal.
SNooKsoN twho has got gentleman" on
the brain, and thinks himself one) A-yaas--
Jones 10 very good fetlow-a--I don't know
INA. mat quite call him gentleman, you know"
Miss Sharp (who has a liking for Jones):
Don't you really? Oh-but perhaps you are
not very good judge. '-Pbnch.
Oh, softly the lover did lutte on his lute
- Neath the pale, gentle light of he moon
l.ut he quickly turned aud began to scoot
"heh ne noticed the dangerous, large sized
or the man who came too soon;
Aias. too soon. -BOst n Courier.
Young HoBs0NBY Tin Harlem cigar store)-
Have you the Rosa PerfectO Cabana Victoria
cigar?
Dealer (regretfully)-N no. sir; bur we have
tue Carissima Caramba Los Angeles YpsI-
'anti brand.
Young H0bsonby- How NJ UGH are they?
Deaer-Fwo for fve.-Neec Y re- Sun
FAsTIn1oUs EPIcURE TO clumsy waiter)-
II you can bring me cup Of coffee without
spiling The coffee into the saucer I'll give. You
Il quarter.
EMIL waiter, and re-enters promptly. car
rylng the cup in one hand and the saucer IN
the other. lie puts down frs one, then the
other, and takes the quarter in silence
Phttddefpbia Pr esq., s...
A DIFFERENCE.-Judge And Won saw Won
come abusivee
Defendant-That's hit, Je.Ige.
Jud Ee-Well, tell the court what he said.
Defendant-He called me a boss thief.
Jedge.
Judge-That won't excuse your conduct:
man might CAL me hsr>e thief all day
Defendant lin erruptingiyl-Yes. but /
guess you've never been one, Jedge, and you
aon't know how 1t riled me- Free p, esS.
MISS BEACON HILL-My dear Miss South
Church, you lust not fail to attend nv read
ing on Thursday afternoon. The latest &C.
ebrity has promised to attend, and of conrse
you will want to meet him.
Miss South Church-You surely don't
mesn-
"Yes, dear. | do-Mr. Michael Kelly. the
recent acquisition Of the Boston Base Ball
Club"
II am delighted. Yes, indeed, I'll be there
without fail. How fortunate you are, nv
dear ~ Pftts6u,g Ch,,n,ce.
MR.. BROWN recently brought home his
second wife. A lady who hat known The frs
quite intimatel, came to make a call IA she
Tucked about the room she rem arked: Chow
familiar ever thing IS To me here; used To
be here so much; there is 4 picture. however.
pointing il Out-whlch l do not recogpIze'
''Oh" said the bride, ''that's the rst Mrs.
Br 'wn. My band thought it might not
please me to have it hanging there as il was.
81 he took 1t to an artist aud had Gain.-
borough hat put on, and changed the color OF
the hair and eyes, and we call it a fancy
piece. "-Shee AMI LeGther Reporter.