The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-15

~ " 10 uOt OO
His Majesty of the Cannibal Islands,
TO whose dusky spouse this enlight-
ened municipality is extending SO
royal q welcome, was earning mod
est livelihood by picking a banjo in
the disreputable dives along the water
front of Honolulu. Since his eleva-
ton from the gutter to the throne by
the missionaries, who used their in-
fuence in his behalf because they
thought he would prove manageable
tool, he has devoted his atten-
ton chiefly to rum and draw poker.
Lately he has revived those inter-
esting but highly improper relig-
ious rites of primitive Hawaii, the
hula hula dances, and the Chinese
opium, introduced with free whisky
under his administration, bids fair to
wipe out the native population, al:
ready decimated by imported oriental
vices. Thus has been achieved re-
suit almost as satisfactory as that OBJ
tanned by missionary labors in Afri-
ca, where, according to the testimony
OF recent explorers, the negroes who
acquire salvation at once abandon
work and devote their time wholly to
mendicancy and prayer meetings..
MEN SELLING wOMEN's UNDER
WEAR.
| was somewhat surprised the
other day to observe that the sales
people employed in the female under
wear department Of our biggest dry
goods establishment were exclusively
oil the male sex, and since then have
learned that a like arrangement is
made in all the linen diapers shops Of
Boston. Now, to the unlnfol med, it
might appear that women would find
it embarrassing to discuss the pat
terms, measurements, etc., Of their
most essential garments with men
behind the counter, and that in this
department beyond all others it
would be desirable to employ female
attendants. 1t seems, however, tina.
such is far from being the case. The
floor managers of Jordan, Marsh Il
Co. assured me that "the ladies', as
a rule, preferred to buy their under
clothing of male clerks, though why
this is SO, he failed to clearly
explain. He did say that young
girls fannels and things were
usually purchased by their mammas,
who, being married, felt no false
modesty about such trifes," and
also that it was impossible to
replace the counter hoppers in
pantaloons with women, because
the men, who are frequently custom
ers in the feminine undergarment
line, would be too bashful to ask
about the goods. So it appears that,
in. matters Of this sort, at any rate,
the masculine brute has more deli
cacy than the female of his species.
Another interesting barbarism has
attracted my notice here, in the shoe
shops. In New York and other cities
stools are provided for ladies to rest
their feet upon while they are having
boots tried on; but in Boston the at
fable clerk takes the fair customers
tootsies upon his lap, holding them
in position with firm grasp above
the ankle while he goes through the
buttoning and unbuttoning process.
Fortunately, however, there is no
such thing as'sex in business,
CROOKED NOSES.
Why d. so many people have
crooked noses2 II you will observe
the features of the passers by on any
crowded street, you will not find an
average of one person to the block
whose nose is set straight upon his or
her face. Nearly all are twisted to
one side, and the most curious thing
about it is that 999 out of every 1000
are inclined in the same di-
rection, namely, to the right.
l asked an eminent pbysiolo-
gist the other day why this
was so, and he replied that it was un-
doubleday because people blew their
noses, as a rule, with their right
hands. He said: Our noses are to
some extent what we make them.
The man whose proboscis exhibits
an eccentricity of development will,
in most cases, be found to employ a
correspondingly peculiar method of
wiping that sensitive organ. do
not mean to imply that nasal de-
formity is always due tosuch cause,
but am sure that it is not infre-
uuently produced in this way. No
two people use their handkerchieis
in quite the same manner. A,
whose nose is o decided snub, wipes
it skywards, while B encourages the
downward inclination OF his smelling
apparatus with vigorous pulls at
the end. They do this quite
unconsciously, but the repetition of
the operation many times each day
from early childhood must gradu-
ally affect the contour of the part as
the feshy tissues and cartilage grow
and harden. Thus you will notice
that the victim of catarrhal trouble
is apt to have a nose with a slightly
dubious extremity, the result of un-
.merciful tweakings, and 80 it is with
everyone who abuses this useful gift
of nature, the defOrmity correspond
ing with the style OF torture to which
the organ is subjected. The almost
invariable inclination OF the nose to
the right is doubtless due, as | said
before, to the practice of manipulate
ing the probosois with the right hand.
If we are not to reconcile ourselves
to crooked noses we must be careful
how we pull them, and must Guilt
vate from early youth a convenient
ambidextrousness in the use OF the
mouchoir." RENE BACH.