davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27

Even the barrooms of American no
tells are changed. Once the bartender
waited till his customer ran all his re-
marks into one long, hoarsc word, with
hiccough on the end, and then he took
him by the collar and threw him out
into the cold and chaotic night Now
the bartender gradually raises on the
price of drinks till his customer is frozen
out, and while he is gone to the reading
room to borrow some more money the
chemist moves the bar somewhere else,
and when the guest returns he finds a
barber shop where be thought he left a
barroom.
One hundred years, on their swift
pinions, have borne away the big and
earnest dinner bell and the sway backed
hair trunk that surprised man so when
be sat down upon it to consider what
clothes he would put on first
All these evidences of our crude. EN-.
bryotic existence are gone, and in their
places we have electric bells and Sara.
toga trunks wherein we may conceal
our hotel room and still have space left
for our clothes.
1t is very rare now that we see a
United States Senator shaking a two
year old Mambrino hair trunk up three
flights of stairs to his room in order to
secure the labor vote. Men, as well as
hotels and hotel soap, have changed.
Where once cake of soap would only
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
NUMBER IS.
Ara COUNTRY FAIR.
Sights and Scenes to be Semitic Prize
Pie-Crust Maker-The Woman ut
the Churn.


The county fair has just closed sue
cessful annual engagement of four days.
and gone to the next stand. None of
my folks took the first premium for
pumpkin butter or sunfower MARINA
lade. but took deep interest in the
whole thing. and l am sorry that it is
over and cannot follow it on to the
next town. The fair wasn't as good as
the centennial, but it comes oftener and
you don't have to pay eight dollars and
quarter for the privilege of wearing
your eyes in an attitude of inspection.
went TO the fair d. t. f.. as the adj.
vertisements are marked. l wanted to
go and meet the bone. sinew and clover
seed of our nation. A country fair is a
good place to study human nature. and
you can find 1t walking on your meek
and lowly bunion, or watching the
fat cattle in the art needle-work depart
ment.
was struck by one thing Immediately
upon entering. That was the gate-keep-
er, and he struck Inc for 25 cents
first tackled the art hall. l know it was
the art hall because the catalogue was
firm on this point There was consid-
cradle art in the place, but there was
considerable more that wasn't. went
up stairs to where the maniac quilts
were. | always had an interest in work
of this kind had an aunt who had a
crazy quite of 8. 533 pieces, all patched
together nicely, and yet her youngest
son used to go to school with considera-
bic of his person rubbing directly
against the climate. She didn't have
time to patch the sunset department of
his pants. but after working five years
on the crazy quilt, she got 81 premium
at the fair and her name spelt wrong in
the paper. had another aunt who was
the prize pie crust maker. and it used to
make the children's eyes roll to see her
roll it out in the departement de Ia cuisine
at the fair.
The love Of art runs through our en-
tire family. 1t runs and does not lnger.
| don't know any more about art than
the judges of that department at the
county fair
But there were several pictures at the
fair didn't like presume they were
painted up by somebody but there is
nothing in the picture to indicate who
the person is or why he didn't take
something for his blood, instead of per
petuating his general debility on crash
towel in gold frame. One Of these
pictures represented rural scene in the
country. In the foreground was large
disused COW with seven benign smile
on her face. and evidently large guam
tity of milk concealed about her person.
The COW was a dark purple, and her
horns were bright saffron color. Com
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
Colorado Odd Fellows on the Liquor
Traffic

A letter from IL. Clay Dillon, of Den :
yer, Colorado, to q gentleman of this
city contains the following: AT the ses-
sion of the Grand Lodge o. o. +.
which followed your convention here,
succeeded in getting through two
resolutions on the liquor traffic, one
declaring that any person engaged
in the manufacture or sale of intoxicat-
ing liquors was not person of good
moral character within meaning of our
constitution. And second resolution
directing our representatives to the
Sovereign Grand Lodge which meets
next year at Los Angeles to use all law
ful and honorable means to procure
such legislation as will hereafter prevent
any person engaged in the manufacture
or sale of intoxicating liquors as a
beverage from becoming a member of
our Order.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
NYE AS A HOTEL GUEST.
OUR PRESENT HosTELRY SYSTEM.
Why a Man In Soft Hat Is Not Always
Weicome-The Hotel Clerk and
HIS Frigidiiy Apparatus.

America has made many gigantic
strides. aside from those made at the
battle of Bull Run. and her people spend
much OF their time pointing with pride
to her remarkable progress. but we arc
prone to dwell too much upon our ad,
vantages as summer resort and oul
adroit methods of declining the Presi
dency before we are asked. while we for
get some OF our more important i'm
provements, like the Elevated Railway
and the American Hotel.
Let us, for moment, look at the great
changes that have been wrought in ho-
tells during the past century. How
marked has been the improvement and
how wonderful the advancement. Every
thing has been changed Even the tow
els have been changed
Electric bells. consisting of long and
alert wire with an overcoat buttoned at
one end sud reticent boy at the other.
have taken the place of the human voice
and low browed red elm club. Where
once we were compelled to fall down a
dark, narrow staircase. now we can 60
down the elevator or wander down the
wrong stairway and find ourselves in the
laundry.
Where once we were mortified by
being compelled to rise at table, reach
nine feet and stab porous pancake
with our fork, meantime wiping the
MIX gravy out of large yellow bowl
with our coat-tails. now we can hire a
tall, 1.-THE gentleman in a full.dress suit
TO pass the pancakes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
CITY GUIDE.

LANCASTER LODGE F. ga NJ meets first and
block.
GRANT CHAPTER. Regular conyocation second
lad fourth Tuesday of each month at s p. m, in
Badd block.
MISSISSIPPI VALLEY LoDeE l. o. o. F. Meets
every Wednesday at 7:30p. N. in Odd Fellows
ball, Maple street.
LANCASTER LODGE I. o. G. t. Meets every
ruesdayst p m. in Budd block Madison street.
LANCASTER Council R. T. Meets first Thurs.
dsy OF each month in Budd block Madison sire Ell,
FIDELITY Lopez 40. U. W. Meet first and
third Mondays Of each month in Budd block,
Madison street.
SYLVAN CAMP NJ. W. OF A. Meets Ist and Sd
Fridays OF each month in Budd Block, Madison
street.
ToN Cox Posr, No 1872, G. A. r. Meets every
second and fourth Saturday nights Of each month
in Budd Block, Madison street.
coNeREeATIoEAL CHURCH. Corner Madison
and Cherry streets. Services at 1890 q. m and
p. m. Sunday.
METHODIST EPIscorAL CHURCH. Corner Mon.
roe and Cherry streets. Services 1880 a. m. and
p. m. Sunday
CATHOLIC CHURCH CornerJ eferson and Cher
~ streets. Services at $50 a. m. and p. N.
sunday
Cry LIBRARY. Court house. Open Wednes
day afternoon and Saturday afternoon and even
ng.
PROTESTANT Episcopal CHURCH. Corner JEFF
ferson and Oak streets. Services, at 1880 a. M
aud p. m. Sunday.
HYDE's OPERA House. Corner Madison and
Cherry streets.
GERMAN EVANGELICAL CHURCH. Madison st.
Sunday School A. NJ. Services l0A.M. Singing
school Bpm
GERMAN PREsBYTERIAN CHURCH. Rev. j A.
Ringold. Pastor. Services every other Sunday.
Sabbath School every Sabbath af III a. m Social
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27

last few weeks, science has come in
and perfected style of pink soap,
favored with vanilla, that will last for
years, and new slipperyelm towel that
10 absolutely iInperviUus to moisture
Hand in hand, this soap and towel 60 gay
" down the corridors of time, welcoming
the coming and speeding the departing
guest, jumping deftly out OF the hands
Of the aristocracy into the hands of re-
ceiver. but always calm, smooth and
lstherless.
Nature did not fit me to be the sue
cessful guest at hotel | can see why
It Is so. do not know how to impress
I hotel. think all the way up from
The depot, as / change hands with my
hothandled bag, how l will stride up to
the counter and ask for the room that is
generally given to Mr.. Blaine, but when
( get there | fall up against cold wave,
step back into large india-rubber Gus
pidofe. and my overtaxed valise bursts
open. While the porter and gather up
my collars and gently press them in with
our feet. the clerk decides that he hasn't
got such a room as would want.
then go to another hotel and sue
ceeG in getting a room which commands
a view of large red fire escape. a long
sweep of undulating caves trough and a
lightning -rod-usually No II, near the
laundry chimney and adjoining the bag
sage ELEVATOR.
After have remained at the hotel
several days and paid my bill whenever
| have been asked to do so. and shown
that | did not eat much and that / was
willing to carry up my own coat. the
M VnIa ND IN
that is below timber line, and though il
IS better room, | feel all the time as
though had driven out the night watch
man, for the bed is still warn, and
knowing that he must be sleeping out in
the cold hall all night as he patiently
watches the hotel, | cannot sleep until
3 or o'clock in the morning and then /
have to get up while the chambermaid
makes my bed for the day.
try hard when enter hotel to as.
sumo an air of arrogance and defiance,
but | am all the time afraid that there is
some one present who is acquainted with
me.
Another thing that works against me
IS my apparel. In a strange hotel a
man will do better. if he has $50 and
desires to remain two weeks, to go and
buy a $50 suit of clothes with his money,
taking his chances with the clerk, than
10 dress like a plain American citizen,
and expect to be loved, on the grounds
that be will pay his board
But there is now prospect for reform
in this line. scheme by which mans
name and record as q guest will be his
credentials. When this plan becomes
thoroughly understood and adopted.
modest man with money who prefers TO
wear soft hat, will not have 10 sleep in
the Union Depot, solely on the grOunds
that Che night clerk 70 opposed to soft
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
hat
This scheme, in brief. consists of

system of regular reports from tables
and rooms. which reports are epitomized
at the Office and interchangeable with
other hotels. on the principle of the w.
Y. Gee Commercial Agency. The guest
is required to sign bis order at the table
or give the number of his room, whether
the hotel is run on the European plan or
not, and these orders in the aggregate,
coming from head walters, porters, cham
beIma ds and bell boys. make up man &
standing on scale from A to T.
For instance, we will say S. per day
house can afford to feed man for a dol
lar meal. The guest orders SO worth.
sticks his mustache into Just enough tc
spoil il for stew or giblet purposes, and
then goes TO his room. Here he puts uI
the fire-escape rope for clothes-line,
does a weeks washing. and hanging il
out upon the improvised clothes-line, he
lights a strong pipe, puts his feet on the
pillow -shams and reads "As in Look.
ing Glass while his wash is drying
When that mau goes away he leaves
q record at the hotel which confronts
him at every hotel wherever he goes
As soon as he writes his name the clerk,
who has read il wrong side up just lit
tie before he got it down tells him that
he is very sorry. but that the house is
full and people arc sleeping on cots in
the hall, ana the proprietor himself has
to sleep on the sideboard. The large
white Suffolk hog. who has been in the
habit of inaugurating a rain of terror
and gravy in the dining and
stealing the soap from the wash-room
just simply because he could outtrumI
the clerk on diamonds. will thus have tC
go to the pound. where he belongs. and
quiet, everyday people. who rely Oh
their integrity more than they do theil
squeal, will get a chance.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
rnr rnrzr rem cRusr MAKER.


ing up pink lane, with yellow smile
on her face, was a violently blue milk
maid. showing large collection Of
speckled ankles, aud dangling by her
side milk pail big enough to indicate
that the milkmaid had mistaken the cow
for stand pipe. The entire COW could
have crept into the pail and never been
missed.
There was another picture Of The
Woman at the Well next TO the COW
scene land never was there a cow seen
TO equal IT'D which was taken as a slur
upon the profession by every milkman
who saw it. but what liked better was
The Woman at the Churn, a companion
picture.
met two young ladies of my ac-
quaintance at Art Hall and treated them
TO ice cream, candy and popcorn and
took them riding on the flying Dutch
man This last was pleasant exper'
ience You pay a nickel and sit astrde
pale blue wooden horse that cts you
like hand-me- down and is not comfort
able Then the man starts live horse
going and the horse walks around in a
meditatve fashion for several minutes,
during which you circle around oppo-
site his tail and feel your breakfast com
mencing to waite mp to the possibilities
Of life. Then you get OFF and feel dizzy
and attempt to step on your back collar
button. Then you wonder how much
you have spent in the forenoon, and go
into a secluded corner to cast up your
accounts. and everything else you may
happen to have in your digestion retort.
The trouble about flying Dutchman Is
that it COCA over the same route too
much ard you get used to the scenery.
After while | went over to the races.
Here Is where you find real excitement.
The crowd was immense and the people
were doing everything they could 10 see.
| stood up next to lady from Pike
township who bad laid her baby ON the
ground and was standing on 1t in order
to see how the trotting race came out.
| pat my foot in a mans coat pocket
and sprang up on his shoulders TO see
for myself He had his legs wrapped
around colored boys neck and was
tolerable comfortable for an old mar.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
grant Ccnatg 4erala:
Death VI L. B. Washburn.

Saturday, October 22nd, at Chicago,
occurred the death of Mr.. E. B. Wash
burn. For several weeks he has been
dangerously i'll and has been thought
dying of congestion of the brain, but his
death was caused by heart disease and
was very sudden. The Sentinel says:
mir. Washburn belonged to re-
markable family and was himself re-
markable man. Without brilliant tai
ents, he possessed in high degree the
sterling qualities of good sense, honesty,
courage, industry and patriotism.
These were conspicuous through his
long public career. From 1852 to 1869
he was continuously member of the
House of Representatives, and bore a
leading part J" the long and arduous
struggle for the restriction of slavery.
in supporting the government in its con-
test with rebellion, and in framing the
laws under which reconstruction was
effected.
From 1869 till 1873, Mr.. Washburne
was United States minister to France,
and achieved great distinction by his
conduct during the Franco-German
war. When other diplomates fed, IS
the German army closed round Paris,
Mr., Washburne, with his characteristic
courage, remained at his post Hs
faced the dangers of the bombardmene
and the famine which followed tie
siege and was able tC render great SCI :
vices both to the French and German.
He bore himself with such dlscretio 1
and good judgment under these difficu 3
circumstances as to secure the cont
dence and the gratitude of the combai-
ants on either side, and to win the az
plause both of Europe and America
"Since bis return home in 1878, Mr..
Washburne remained in private life.
his countrymen apparently having lit
tie use for men of exceptional ability,
probity, and thorough training and ex-
perience in public affairs. He devoted
his time Of late years mainly to literary
work and his ''Recollections of Mir-
lister to France" 3 valuable contribu-
tion to history, was published within
the past manth.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27


A great many droll characters and
bright, shrewd men are met with among
hotel proprietors wherever you go.
"The Fat Contributor" was lecturing
once in the State Of Kentucky, and had
occasion 10 take dinner at six-bit hotel.
After the meal Mr. Griswold stepped up
to the counter, took out q bale of bank
notes, which he had received for his
lecture the evening before, and asked
what might be the damage!
Three dollars" said the blue grass
gentleman, who had buttoned his collar
with a tenpenny nail, while he looked at
"Gris" with panied expression.
"Yes, but man ought to be able to
board here week for So. The whole
house didn't cost more than $40 or $45
What's your idea in charging me SO for
wad of hominy and a piece of parched
pork1
well, sir" said the urbane landlord.
as he put out the fire at distance of
twenty five feet by emptying his salivary
surplus on it, II need the money!
The frankness and open. candid man
fler of the man won Mr.. Griswold, and
he asked him if he thought So would be
enough. The landlord said he could get
along with that. Then Griswold opened
his valise and took out large brunette
bottle of liniment marked for external
use" He passed it over to the landlord
and told him that he would find this
stuff worked as well on the inside as it
did on the outside. In few moments
the linlment of the Fat Contributor"
and the lneaments of the landlord had
merged into each other, and friendly
feeling sprang up between the two men
which time las never eifaced | have
often thought Of this and wondered why
it is that hotel men are not more open
and cordial with their guests. Many
time have paid large bill grudgingly
when | would have done it cheerfully il
the landlord had told me he was in need.
/ had intended to speak at some length
on the new rope law. by which every
man is made his own Vigilance Commit.
tee, but / feel that | am already ems
croaching on the advertising space and
so will have to omit it. In conclusion,
will say that the American hotels are
Par preferable to those we have in Paris
in many ways. and not only outstrips
those Of England and the Continent, even
as cOrps dc ballet outstrips a Toboggan.
club, but they seem to excel and ever
lastingly knock the ancient hotels of
Carthage, Rome and Tie Siding silly
BiH Nye, ta Ne,o York World.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
OUTSIDE OF THE SIDE SNOW.

sian Princess. was glad to meet this
lady. had seen her before while she
was only common young person from
Hindoostan, who used TO stand out in
front of the side show with u stuffed
boa.constrictor wrapped around her Jer-
sey. didn't at the time Hindoostan
how she did it,
The next freak was 4 man who swal
lowed a sword and felt Just as good with
pair OF scissors lying haughtily against
his liver as at any other time. He swal-
lows pokers. case-knives. lightning rods,
ETC., and told me in jngling whisper
that he was gradually getting himself
into condition to eat some of the sweet
cakes sold at the booths on the ground
Another freak was called Isabella, the
Half Lady" The way she talked be
fore the show don't think she was even
that much OF lady She occupied =
darkened space in the back part OF the
tent, and the way you looked In il
seemed as though her social disposition
and mannerisms stopped at the waist
and that she walked on her liver. which
had to be kept sharp-shod for the pur-
pose. | think there was some fraud
about II, for saw her buying corn salve
of poor blind man with only one hind
leg. -IerdS SiJttnqs.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27

the horses finished up just where they
started from by the judges stand. and
had all that going around the track for
nothing. don't know how il came
out, but / believe that the mare with the
sorrel driver won three heats and luke.
warm. One Of the city papers spoke
next day of the horse winning three
straight heats. A paper that will make
this kind of claim is not fit TO go into
the family circle. | was there and
claim that there wasn't a straight heat
on the entry books. All the horses
went round the ring. l make this re-
mark with unexpected pleasure.
But had most of my fun at the side
show. A man has a right to 20 to side
show II he wishes, because this Is .
freak country.
The crowd that amuses itself by look.
ing at the pictures on the outside Of
the side show, 10 always curious and in
teresting.
The first curiosity on exhibition was a
man who could blow glass. We have
flies at home who can conduct them
selves with similar degree Of novelty.
Then there was party whom the ban
ner outside called CalYpta, the Circas-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1887-10-27
Jersey Lyrice.

We have received from Robert
Sinnickson, author, Trenton. n. j.,
three poems, copyrighted, for which
we return many thanks TO the gifted
author. We confess never having
heard of him before, but after reading
the poems we hasten TO express an
avidity for better acquaintance with
him and his works.
As if suspecting the truth that his
fame had not yet spread beyond the
narrow confines of his native land, the
poet, (who 1t appears is also ex-editor
of the Moonly Voice) refers us for his
pedigree to the Boston Public library,
Library of Congress. editorial waste
baskets, and other repositories OF
Excelsior literature Excelsior" be-
ing the nom de plume which his mod
esty assumes. We shall certainly look
it up.
Space will not permit anything like
full quotation Of these noble lyrics, but
a specimen stanza or two may bring TO
public stupefaction their peculiar
merits. One of them begins
Bill was faithful old fro-engine horse,
And no went TO a FIRE with a vim,
But now he Il only fire-blackcned cOrse;
For the latest fire came 10 him.
His stable was burned, ere escape he could
mako,
And his friends are now mourning his loss.
The children who fed him with candy and
wni now grleve for their old friend, tho
'Old boss"
The ingenious manner in which
"corse and Gloss are both made 10
rhyme with ''horse" will surely attract
the attention of all poetasters. The
dirge continues for four paroxysms
much like the foregoing, and ends with
touching envoy thus;
Eoah-the wild-western, young mustang
horse,
Bills epitaph now brings to mind
Ran away with corn-plow, when hom0ward
while held the handles behind
This flavor Of personal reminiscencc
is what penetrates TO the heart, and
these poems are reaking with il. Mind
this wail--in four bursts, all rs bad
as this and all printed on green paper
Like calhess COW, I'm lonely, now
I've lost my better half
Yet, she might now be called the COW,
And /, the blatant calf.
dream about her every night
And think OF her, all day
I'm surely in n sorry plight
My girl has gone away.
Who says that New Jersey should not
be annexed to the United States by the
Arther Kill bridge. Who convicts IL Of
raising no crops but sand-ilies and
hotel-keepers? Its shores harbor n
poet, and we have dry-docked some Of
his verse. If 1T isn't poetry IL is built
that way, and we leave it to anyone If
the lines don't loom up in traditional
clubhouse style--one long and one
short, with a jingle at the endP
Pshaw! OF course it's poetry
Buffalo Press.