Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-06-29
CIR REEN.

Cucumbers, college graduates and other
green things are now plentiful.-Boston
Globe.
Book Agents the lady of the house in?
l. Servant Maid-There are two of us. Which
do you want to sees-Tid-Bits.
Wife-s@'I don't see why women want to
wear high hats, anyhow Husband
perfectly senseless. They don't cost bit
more than the others and some of them not
nearly SO uch."-Pittsburg Dispatch.
"Confound it," growled Jones at the race
course, tearing up ticket; ''TN never take
tip again. [ always get left.'' esWhy,"
said friend, "I know a man who always
takes tips and he's ahead every time" s'Who
is he?" ga waiter in a restaurant. New
York Sun.
Human Nature. - Angelina-"W Whatever
made you tell Uncle Harpagon you're max
ing $4,000 year when, with all your hard
work and all my economy, we can scarcely
make both ends meet!" Edwin-"My love,
he's worth half million, and if he thinks
we don't want it he'll very likely leave it all
to us!"-Punch.
"Father," said the young man, ri find it
very difficult to remember many things in
connection with my business How is it your
| memory is so much better than minee''
FsThat's easy" replied the old man. eff you
ever loan half the money have loaned you
| would never forget it. Loaning money
| strengthens the memory; borrowing money
| ruins it."-Newman Independent.
Some years ago learned counsel, of much
volubility and an undying length of wind.
had prolonged reiterative argument to a
pitch which the judicial sufferer could bear
| no longer. 81 don't want to interrupt you,
Mr.. -" said the judge blandly, "but
you've said that before" ''Im sure I beg
your lordship's pardon; I had no recollection
| of having done So" ''No doubt" replied
| the Judge; ait was long time ago."-Lon-
don World.
Miss Sawyer, who is poor, was introduced
| at lunch party to Miss Taylor, who is rich,
and was coldly received. Miss Sawyer is
bright and knows her own antecedents and
| Miss Taylor's also. She was unabashed and
spoke cheerily: ''Fm SO glad to meet you.
| I've often wanted to. It's SO funny-my
| name is Sawyer and my grandfather was a
grandfather was sawyer. Mine used to
| make clothes for yours, and yours used to
| saw wood for mine "-Elmira Gazette.
The Way to Make Ice-'sThat must be a
| curious process, the manufacture of ice, y
said a New York man to resident of Aus
| tin. eyes," replied the Austin scientist;
edo you understand the philosophy of it!'
never had the thing explained to me-
"Well, you see,'' observed the philosopher,
"they have kind of Tank eyes, .'And
| they fill the tank two-thirds full of water.
eyes; what theng" "Why, then they freeze
it." "Ohi" exclaimed the disguised New
Yorker, "that's it, is it2 had an idea that
they boiled it. t."-Texas Siftings.
Oh! Sally was ez sweet a lass
| AS the sun he Tiz on;
| Her eyes so blue, her teeth of pearl,
And golden locks all in a curl,
| Made for my heart a prison.
But summer boarders came along
To fill her fathers pocket;
| An fust we knew that wicked girl
Had give one dude shining curl
| An he'd give her locket.
| She's married to the city swell
| Her heart an all is hiS'n.
| We do not mourn. not US, but say,
| Eff her will let go way,
| Why We'll let she go ShiS'n
| Life.