davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
CONKLING ON HIS FEET
Judge Gresham's Court Crowded to Hear the
Distinguished Lawyer Plead in Cause.
Chieapo JournaI

Judge Gresham's Court Crowded to Hear the
Distinguished Lawyer Plead in Cause.
Chicago Journal.
All the chairs In Judge Gresham S
courtroom were filled this morning for
an hour before Mr.. Conkl1ng leisureIy
made his way up from the hotel across
the street. The ex Senator did not at
tempt to force an entrance through the
moist and eager crowd which was push
ing and edging for advantageous places
upon the window Lodges and along the
walls, but was beckoued to a side entrance
through the Judges chambers, and was
thus able to present himself without a
disarranged toilet to the gaze of the
crowd. He looked cool and comfortable,
in plaid trousers and loose cutaway coat,
and for further comfort he had dispensed
with suspenders and waistcoat. Besides
numerous company of patent lawyers.
there were present Judge Wilson, of st,
Charles, Mich; Ex-Governor Hamilton
Judge Weldon, Jonas Hutchinson, Judge
Barnum, S. K. Dow, Judge Drummond,
Cyrus Bently, Judge Sidney Smith and a
sprinkling of ladies. Judge Gresham
placidly twirled his eyeglasses round his
finger when Mr.. Conkling, laying aside
his palm-leaf, assumed position before
him. With delicate carcasm veining
every melodious accent, he began with
reference to Judge Hill, who had preced-
ed him: eve have had here a treatise
from our learned friend-a treatise upon
the useful, mechanical and fine arts, a
treatise of 219 pages, which they call a
brief. / suppose that in future ages the
authorship of this treatise will be disput-
ed by some man in Minnesota or some
other State, and perhaps cipher may be
found to interpret it as in the Shak-
spearian folio of 1923. He has seemed
to think that if he could pick up an idea
anywhere on the wide shore a time he
could make it applicable to this case"
Mr. Conkling began then to read
from certain parts of his own bI1ef, when
Judge Gresham, interrupting, said: II
don't see that that applies to this case.''
Don't it? 1t did before the beginning
of this case"
Mr. Hill objected.
Mr.. Conkling, sarcastically-"Myl learn.
ed friend, to object after presenting this
brief of 210 pages! this catalogue of
patent cases! this barren fig tree shat
cumbers the ground"
Mr.. Conkling allowed all technical
comparisons of the different processes of
paraffine paper manufacture to remain
where his colleagues had left them after
exhaustive explanation and devoted him
self to the law of the question, first break.
ing to pieces the framework set up by
the defense and laying down his own
principles. This part of the speech was
listened to with keenest zest by the pat
ent attorneys who were present, while the
non professional audience took interest
in watching the gestures, the meaning
looks and queer poses which the great
orator INDUCED. The speech continues
throughout The greater part of the day.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
TOLD BY AN OLD MINSTREL.
Early Days in California as Remembered by a
Roamer of the Earth.


Early Days in California as Remembered by
ROamer of the Earth.
Courier Journal.
Il was in California during the stirring
days of 1852" said an old, tall. lanl
minstrel man, who had been in Australia
| for the last twenty years, and who re
Gently returned 70 this country to die, be
ing afflicted with an incurable disease
He is now at the Candee house.
Il was II years old, and a hanger-on al
my uncle's mining camp. We ran into
San Francisco frequently. and l shall
never forget the attractions which two
rival hotels offered to the public to eclipse
the others patronage. One of them was
known as the Clean Shirt and the other
as the Golden Eagle. The Clean Shirt
started pith small, one horse brass band
concert on the balcony every evening
which drew big crowds, including about
all of the Golden Eagles guests. Pretty
soon, however, the Clean Shirt began to
lose her boarders by the score without
any apparent cause. The proprietor en-
larged his brass band and polished up
his bar without effect. 1t didn't take him
long to find out that the Golden Eagle
was having nightly cooking mains and
dog fights for the exclusive benefit of her
guests. Then the Clean Shirt got back
part of her custom by introducing prize
fights and smuggling matches. It's fact,
gentlemen, that when miners and others
had personal differences to settle they
used to offer their services to the pro-
prietor of the Clean Shirt, who paid we'll
for fight, the money going to the win
ner.
These exhibitions were given in pr1-
vate quarters, and none but guests and
their friends were admitted. The Golden
Eagle next enhanced its attractiveness by
knocking out one end of her dining room
and building on stage and green room
and other like accessories, and had variety
performances at every meal. Women
were scarce in that part of the country,
and the Golden Eagles half-dozen serio-
comics, which came on from the Lord
knows where, proved great card, bet
ter one than than the Clean Shirt with
all its ingenuity could play. One day, a
desperate went into the Clean Shirt and
shot bartender, a phenomena which
made her famous and placed her far
ahead of the Golden Eagle in the estima-
ton of the travelling public. But the
proprietor of the Golden Eagle was an
ingenious enterprising cuss, and saw his
opportunity. He headed a gang which
went out and captured the murderer, and
bringing him back strung him up. on the
dining room stage one evening at supper
and all the guests transient and perman-
ent were accorded the privilege of firing
their revolvers at this dangling body.
That was great day for the Golden
Eagle. One shot accidentally went
through the head of waiter, and the
entertainment far exceeded the proprie-
tors expectations"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
She Had a Great Honor.
The Argonaut

Dumas the elder loved to laugh at the
expense of English stiffness and reserve.
One of his stories was this: One day
Victor Hugo and I were invited to dine
with the duke of Decazes. Among the
guests were Lord and Lady Palm Hrston-
of course this happened before the Feb
ruary revolution. At midnight tea was
handed around. Victor Hugo and [ sit
ting side by side, chatting merrily. Lord
and Lady Palmerston had arrived very
late, and there had consequently been no
oppo rtunity to introduce US before din
ner; after dinner it seems it was forgot
ten. English custom, consequently, did
not allow US to be addressed by the illus
trious couple. All at once young Duca-
yes comes up to US and says: "My dear
Dumas, Lord Palmerston begs you will
leave chair free between you and Victor
Hugo" I fastened to do as he wished.
We moved away from each other and
placed chair between US. Thereupon
enters Lord Palmerston holding the
hand of his wife, leads her up to us, and
invites her to sit down on the empty
chair-all this without saying a word
"My lady," he said to his wife, ''what
time have you?" She looked at her watch
and answered: "Thirty five past r."
"Well them" said the great minister, ere
member well that this day, at 1885, you
were sitting between Alexander Dumas
and Victor Hugo, an honor which you
probably never will enjoy again in your
life time" Then he offered his arm
again to his wife and took her back to
her seat without saying word to us be-
cause we had not been presented!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04

squire sold the ceremoney on this occas-
ion at the rate of two for 1--WE.
The brides kissed the grooms, and the
latter gave their address as Eight and
Race streets, Philadelphia, and their
business as laundrymen and tea merchan-
is. Then they departed for this city,
and were followed to the ferry by crowd
of boys, who INDUCED In cat. calls and
unpleasant American jibes.
There were no cards, but Press re-
porter called at the house last evening to
offer congratulations. Their abode Is
situated on the northeast corner of Race
and Chester streets, and the lower floor is
occupied by Wing Lung, droll Oriental
Philosopher who takes in washing for
pastime.
"Are Charley Sing and James Markee
at homer" he was asked.
'Las' me know going to lest 'em," he
replied, with evident delight.
He disappeared upstairs and returned
in few moments saying: "They out, they
nailed this afternoon. Wife come"
The door opened and in walked Mrs.
Sing and Mrs. Markee in street dress, pull
ling on their gloves.
"What do you want with my husband"
said the former. She was told that the
story of the marriage was all That was
wanted.
$50 on, Bridget, tell him straight,
what do we care. None of our folks
live here We are from Ireland" said
Mrs. Markee.
To the question how they came to mar
ry them, Mrs. Sing said. ''We got stuck
Old 'em. We are going to China for a
bridal trip"
Both laughed.
''Are you going to hit the piper"
ga woman don't have to smoke opium
because she marries Chinaman."
The brides vanished, and Wing Lung
looked up from a shirt bosom and, shak-
ing his head remarked: 'FMelican wife too
flesh" Then he laughed in Chinese and
added: maybe me mally some day."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
Resolved to Die Togeather

Two ladies, aged respectively 81 and 50
resided together in Vienna. The younger
of the two was married and lost her hus-
band some years ago. She then begged
her elder unmarried sister to live with
her. In the course of time the grief of
the widow turned her head and she be-
came mad and was placed in an asylum.
Last Christmas she was released as per-
fectly cured. On Saturday morning the
two sisters took cab and drove to the
foot of the Kahlenburg, where it rises
dismissed the cab, they were seen saun-
terlng along the bank. Shortly after a
railway guard saw female figure float
ing on the water. He took boat and
succeeded in getting it out. He then
discovered that second woman was
fastened with cords to the back of the
hrst. The woman on the top was only
Unconscious and soon recovered, but the
other was dead. While this was being
ascertalned the women who had been
saved ran to the river and threw herself
IN again, but was again rescued. The
woman saved was the mad sister. The
shock has again affected her brain and
she has been sent back to the asylum.
There are forty-four spring localities
in Michigan, containing seventy-siy indi-
vidual springs, of which twenty eight
have been analysed. Of the spring local.
ties nineteen are used as resorts, and the
waters of four springs are used CONNER
cially.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
Cleanliness in Milking

Don't dip your fingers in the pail of
milk to lubricate the cows teats while
milking. Good dairymen absolutely
prohibit the practice because it taints the
milk and consequently Injuries the quality
of the product from the milk. Bathing
the teats and bag in cool water in sum
mer takes off the dirt and it soothes the
cow. This cannot be done in winter or
the teats will chap and crack. Rub the
teats and udder with the hand, and much
of the dust and scarf skin will come off
This scarf skin is very difficult to keep
out of the milk. and imparts to it that
''cow barn" taste which is so offensive
Pulling down on the teats to get the milk
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
SQUIBS.

About one thousand good, large water
melons make carload.
Lake Weir, Fla, is credited with hav.
ing the largest lemon grove in the world.
Nearly half the salt product of the en-
tire United States is credited to Michigan
whose supply is derived mainly from
artesian behring's.
The Puyallup Indians were granted
the right of suffrage by the last congress
and many of them will vote this fall.
Some negroes enjoying picnic at San
dersville, Ga, discovered snake in a
watermelon. 4 cooler place for the
whisky bottle couldn't be found.
In 1877, L. M. Borland of Jefferson
county, Pennsylvania, planted one grain
of Australian wheat obtained at the
centennial exposition. The product from
it this year amounts to sixty bushels.
Flint young ladies are reviving the
baby stare, which means to take square,
open-eyed look at everything, men in
Guided. The News of that place advises
the girls mothers to revive the old fash
Toned baby spank.
lady who was resorting at Petoskey,
Mich, put phos phorus on her bunion tho
Oo'Si ho ohb iSAiACos III but uiSnb
the husband spied the glowing thing, and
sizing it up for FREELY banged it with
the bootjack, She never speaks to him
now without punching him with the
crutch which she has since been obliged
to wear.
An organization of liars and tall-tale
teliers has been perfected in Hastings,
Neb. The membership is limited to the
staff officers of the newspapers and re-
tired preacher, the latter to give 1t a
sanctimonIous coloring. Under the pa
tronage of Duke Thompson the club will
issue monograph on "The Nude in the
Art of Lying"
The Pennington county (Dakota) grand
jury has found indictments against Por-
ter Warner, editor of the Deadwood
Times; Boham and Kelly, of the Dead
wood Pioneer; Thomas III. White, mining
engineer and correspondent of the New
York Mining Record and London News,
charging them with criminal libel in
pronouncing the Big Bend Hydraulic
Mining company fraud.
Somebody has invented carving knife
that works like pair of scissors. That
is all right Many man will rejoice at
the opportunity to put upon his wife the
duty of carving.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD
KEEP OUT OF THE PAST.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Keep out of the past for its highways
Are damp with malarial gloom
Its gardens are Sere. and its rests are drear
And everywhere molders a tomb.
Who seeks to regain its lost pleasures
Finds only rose turned to dust
And its storehouse OF wonderful treasures
Is covered and coated with dust.
Keep out of the past? 1t is haunted,
He who in its avenues gropeS
Shall find there the ghost of a joy priced the
most,
And skeleton throng of dead hopes,
In place of its beautiful rivers
Like pools that stagnant with slime,
And those graves cleaning light in the phos-
phorous light
Cover dreams that were slain in their prime.
Keep out of the past! 1t is lonely
And barren and bleak to the view,
It's fires have grown cold and its stories are olj
Turn, turn, TO the present, the new
To-day leads you up to the hill tops,
That are kissed by the radiant SUM-
To-day shows no tomb-all LIES hope in bloom,
And to-day hods a prize TO be won.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
Welded TO CHINAMEN.
Two Irish Lasses Given Away in Camden
Marriage Mart.

Two Irish Lasses Given Away in Camden's
Marriage Mart.
Camden beat her record yesterday by
double Chinese-Irish wedding, says the
Philadelphia Press.
Squire Cassaday officiated and then
left town. The brides and grooms be-
longed to Philadelphia of course. Cam
den ran out of her own bridal couples
long ago.
Judge Cassaday's family has gone to
Pitman Grove, and whenever his honor
gets lonely he marries couple at the
city residence. Ee was lonely six times
yesterday. Ennui held him, languid and
perspiring, in her clutches, when about
o'clock in the afternoon the servant ush-
cred into his room two black eyed white
girls and two almond eyed Cinnamon.
One of the Cinnamon wore four button
ed cutaway coat, low vest, white tie, and
high standing collar. He was Charley
Sing. The other, after the style of the
Orient, wore a beautiful blue-silk shirt
outside his pantalot n and wooden shoes.
He was James Markee, Charley's cousin.
On Mr.. Sings arm hung Miss Bridget
Carlin aelicately done up in a black Jer-
sey, and % years old. Mr.. Markee jeal-
ously guarded Ellen Marselles, one year
younger, wearing Shanghai cockatoo on
her little straw hat, and blue-checked
silk basque with white lace down the
front.
Squire Cassaday said, ''bless my soul!'
and then Charley Sing said, ''we get nel-
lied"
The girls grinned, and Mr. Markee
made dignitied bow of approval.
Squire Cassaday had Just married a
Russian couple, after mating a fine old
Irish gentleman, aged so, who had gone
through the experience of buying wife
and eight children. with lady ten wears
his junior, but he had not expected this.
Leading them to the parlor, he arranged
them in couples, and married them with
out sigh of remorse. At the conclusion
of the ceremony the Cinnamon were at a
loss as to just what was the right thing to
do. Mrs Sing said pay him." and her
husband paid for both. 1t is said tho
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04

from them is painful to the COW and not
the best way to get the milk from the
teats. Grasp the teat with the full hand
and squeeze without pinchlng or the
cow will ''kick." See that the finger
nails are closely trimmed. COW ought
to kick when pinched by long horny
finger nail. Hold the pail, in which the
milking is done, away from under the
COW, and then there will not be so much
danger from kick, and the constantly
falling hairs, dirt and dandruff will not
get in the milk. John Gould, the expert
enced dairyman of Ohio, says truly that
good butter is half made when the milk
is take from the COW in a eleanly man
ner.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
Buried Wood.
Colusa (Cal.) Sun.

In boring a we'll on the farm of Mrs.
Sarah Williams, some five miles south of
Colusa, j. G. Frazer, who has the farm
rented, struck piece of wood at depth
of 10 feet. The wood brought up by
the auger was in an excellent state of pres
ervatiolI, and was pronounced sail oak.
This place is only 90 feet above the sea
level, so that the wood is 120 feet below
the oceans surface. If it was sunk there
when this valley was lake or an arm of
the bay it was in pretty deep water. How
long since this piece of wood was in a
growing tree? The valley, of course, has
grown, but without some convulsion of
nature the grotwh has been slew-not. per-
haps, over one foot per century. Then
has it been seventeen thousand years
since this oak tree grew? In the shadow
of the infinite it is not long, but, measured
by the history of man, it is indeed long
space.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04

hiding away in the shadows of yon grove
must have heard the shrieks of alright
the calls for mercy-the prayers to God
The vultures sailing overhead must have
quickened their wings as the horrible din
of slaughter reached their ears. And we
ride on. What use to tramp over this
hell pot in search of a name? OF what
use to dig grave for these bones? What
to the world away beyond the mighty
prairie that a few more of its millions
have died-or how, or when?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
OfCGurse He Couldn't Find 1t.
Kingston Fireman


A Kingston man who carries a cane
with silver head was considerably fur
ried the other night. He had been in a
neighbours house and in going away he
forgot his stick. He stepped to a
window, tapped on it, and asked mis- friene
to hand him his cane. His friend did so,
handing it out point first. "Thank you,
thank you," said the owner of the cane,
as he stepped briskly away. He soon re-
turned, and, tapping on the window, said
he had lost the head of his stick there. A
search was made throughout the room
with no success. This was reported TO
the man who was much chagrined. He
started off again, and after awhile he
again came back, tapped on the window,
and said: You needn't look any more foI
the head of that cane. Good joke, good
joke; by jocks, I had hold of the wrong
end.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04

A memorial and historical tablet viii
be erected in the court house at Webster
City, August IL, as tribute of Hamilton
county sin grateful memory of the hero
ic volunteers from Hamilton county, Ia,
in the Spirit Lake expedition, command
ed by Maj. William Williams, of Fort
Dodge, for the relief of settlers who sur
vived the Indian massacre of March 8-13,
1857" In memory also of "Mrs. William
l.. Church, VINO shot an Indian while de-
Tending her babes, and of her sister,
Druscilla Swanger, who was severely
wOunded ;;
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
There Were Two of Them.

"Where have you been?" demanded the
wife of her spouse, when she discovered
him at in the morning trying to unlock
the door with his boot heel.
"Been to Creates show on EARTH"
"Don't tell me that, now," reprimanded
the wife, because there isn't a theater
open"
"Ishen't, hey! She bills on boards
'cross street creates actress ever saw
'S'pollo.'" ga soap advertisement, Ell!
picture of wash-woman, and 1 suppose
you found the wash-woman did your"
and she gave his hair yank that made
him yell, ind then retired to her room.
''Och! Gosh! Yesh, 1 found her-ius'
found second 'dition now. Two of 'em.
Shay, uzzer wash'oman didn't pull my
hair-jus' press'd shirt-front: 'ats all.''
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-08-04
JEGHORNS.

Leghorns that are Matched in Jun
make rapid growth, as warm weather
very favorable to them. AS they matur
early, and begin to lay before they ar
six months old, they are among the mos
profitable of our breeds. They are goo'
flyers, and a high fence is necessary t,
keep them in bounds.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-18

Msntelps next season. This will open Of Reading In
October, when the romantic play OF "Monoafs,
adapted from the French by Louis Natbal, wii %
produced Mr.. Mantoll Is still at Lonl Branch. lie
has recently suffered severe affection in the death Of
his child, loss hc has felt most deeply
David Beasco has left this city for Chicago, where
he goes to superntend the production OF the new
play he has written tor Lolita in conjunction with
Clay Greene. On his return he will set TO
work on tho revision of Baron Rudolph
for George s. knight. Mr.. Rosenquest, OF
the Fourteenth Street Theatre, where the
play is to be seen, and Charles Frohman, who Is Mr.
Knights manager, will do all they can to make the
production elaborate and special pains VIII DC
taken by Mr. Frohman In engaging n company, whiie
Mr. Rosenpuest will mount the play carefully as ne
did " The Old Homestead and " The Still Alarm
This, indeed he siy Will he his policy iG tho fuure
and though his house Is q" combination theatre nc
will bestow much pains on the production OF the
pieces given there ehough they were the production
OF stock company theatre.
The accounting recently made by Ernest Harver,
tho original receiver of BARLEY Campbell's estate
when no turned the assets to A. Nj. Palmer VINO
was recently appointed in his place. shows that Mr.:
Campbe's estate has by iudcious handling returned
far TO the creditors than was at first supposed
likely. Mr.. naryier has already paid oil over
SIS 600 of indebtedness; he has turned over To ms
successor $4,000, ard the remaining assets VIII
probably realize some $4,000 or $1,000 more.
CLAIM. TO the amount of about 10000 have baon
fled against the estate. but some OF these consst OF
judgments which will probably have TO be PAID 10
full In any case. however it Is likely that lar
amount on the dollar will be paid to all bona hde
creditors Nearly halt of the sun received and paid
over to creditors by the first receiver OF
the profits on the OF the White slave" which
was sent the road by him in his capacity ~ ie-
ccyer The piece ss:lll being acted by an independ-
ent organization VINO pay royalty to tbs new re-