davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
HUMOROUS.

Never abuse a mule behind his back.
 Woman's spheto is the home; mans sphere is the baseball
 The most wonderful flight ou record was when the, chimney aue.
 Some men are so generous that thcy\ are always willing to give away what / they don't want themselves. ,.
 When did Gen. Geo. Washington havc his first ride in public carriage 2 When he took hack at tho cherry tree.
 Henry Bsrgh has printed set ON thirteen rules onF'How to Approach Kicking Horse.r to which we append a fourteenth S3u, '1''"tA' hired man tackle
 "That fellow is carrying things with a high hand here tonight" remarkcl Phasesius, when the waiter passed ba!- ancing loaded tray at arms length above his head.
 New York mamma, ,-"Where have you [ been, my sonq' Young blood-"To a bull-fght. Mamma-'A bull-fyht G' Young blood--"Yaas, maw. I've been down in Wall street." N
 "Now, Johnny," said tho patient\ teacher, ''put away that pocketknife and pay attention to\what I am saying. II you had an apple (which you wished 10 divide with your little sister, how much would you give hcr9' "Id give her the !, core" said Johnny.
 A lady trgveling to summer resort was annoyed by the approximations of fellow behind, and when the conductor entered, she drew up her dress and asked: Conductor hay, you not any rule in regard to splitting in the carG" The genial tick ck,t-punchcr smiled on her, and responded: ''No, marm, you can spit around nywherc youlike."
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Had Nothing to Say.

Mime. Aubernon gives literary dinners in Paris and rules them like strict par liamentarian. She has silver bell at her side to ring for order, and she gives each guest his turn to speak. One evening MT. R2nan was talking when one of the lesser lights tried to say something in an underto e. She peremptorily silcnccd him, and few moments later, when M. Renan had finished his mono.ogue, she tapped the bell and said to the un- fortunate, IN w, Monsieur, you may speak," "But, Madamc," he exclaimed, l only wanted to ask for some more spinach."
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

AAn interesting comparison between the army expenses of this country and Eu- rope is made by London Truth, which says: Theamouut annually spent by the European countries to keep up their armies and navies is e1sl, 12O. 900. The amount spent by America is about es,- 900, 900. Adding, therefore, the cost for war debts and for armaments together, it will be seen that Europe pays e394, 76O, 900, and America e1s, 900, 900 per annum. How possibly can Europs hope to hold her own against her trans-Atlan- tic rival, when she handicaps herself, in the struggle for commercial suprem acy. with the stupendous charge of e37s, 900, 900 per annuma As if this were not enough, Europe is each year increasing her burden, whilst America is each year reducing hers"
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

At the recent municipal election in Racine, Wisconsin, sevctA women, with the Rev. o Olympia BrowrfWillissat their /head, approached the polls and tried to vote for school officers, claiming their right to do so under the nsr law. They were refused, hoSeyer, os the strength of an order received ny Telegraph from the attorney general offhe state. Now Mrs. Willis proposes to bring suit against tho inspectors, for several thou sand dofi<fs damages, for depr.ving her of the rights of c;tizen of the United States. This will be done to mako a test case as to the validity of ;he woman suffrage law. Several <milar suits arc to be instituted in various Wisconsin cities, and their progress and result viii .. be wa: chcd with interest ss
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

Much doubt has of late been clst upon tho old notion that snakes and some in- ,scets will deliberately commit suicide when hard pressed. A recent letter from India tells of large black cobra, which was shot by an Eng;ishman, and which in its agony, was said by natives present to be biting itscls to death. C.ose watching by the Englishman showed, however, that the snake was simply throwing its head around, and hitting itself accidently. Accidental death, and not suicide, is the probable verdict in such cases.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
AmuSiny the Baby.

"And now, B,bby," said his mother, as she buttoned her gloves, "be a good little boy while am out, and do every thing You can to amusc the baby"
 On her return she discovered that Bobby had emptied the contents of the molasscs jug over the baby's head, and the happy laughter from the infantiie lips told her more cloqucntly than mere words could ever hope to tell how emil ncntly successful Bobb's efforts in the amusement line had been.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

In reviewing the R:v. Phillips Brooks sTws-ty Sermons," the London Ather num marks this difference between Americans and European popular preachers. The American preacher 'uses the Bible to interpret or to throw light upon the facts of human life, to put man and hls destiny in their true light. The other seeks the interpretation, the inner meaning of the Bible, in the facts and necessities of human life, and what does not correspond with these he over loads or puts ss.dc as of little or no present momcnt,
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Grad uated.

Lady visitor-'I am very sorry to sss you here, my young friend. You look as if you had Q good education
 Convict--"Wtll, madam, have been through Yale College"
 Lady visitor-'Is 1t possiblef
 Convict-"Ycs, that's the reason Tn here. They caught mo as l va goang through. The Judge 4
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

Nebraska has furnished an illustration of the practical value of Arbor Day. In that state of great prairies, on the fir t of its Arbor Days, fifteen years ago, 12,- 900, 900 shoots were planted; now the United States Forest commission reports that there arc fle groves growing 800 miles west of the Mississippi, and that 605, 900, 900 trees arc thriving where a few years ago none could be seen n-save along the streams.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Two Exf.remnI.

fA
 First Onaha man-"No, sir; Pm going to sendAmy son to college. Nc public school system for him. Look at Jink's boy"
 Second Omaha "Jinlk's boy has just graduated from the public schools and is Q young man of thorough cul- ture." "Yes, and is half dead with consump ton and has had brain fever three times. Now look at Wink's eldest son."
 ITS he college mana" ,.,"Regular graduate, strong as horse, healthy as mule, and makes 5000 year in Q base ball team. -[ Omaha World.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

An engineering work that has taken over century to construct can hardly fail to offer some points of interest and illustrates the march of events during the years of its progress. An instance of its kind is to be found in tunnel not long since completed, but which was commenced over 100 years ago. This tunnel or adit, as it should be moro strictly termed, is nt Schemnitz, in Hungary. Its con- struction was agreed upon in IT'S, the object being to carry eff the water from the Schemnitz mines to the lower part of the Gran Valley. The work is now complete, and according to German paper it forms the longest tunnel in the world, being 10 27 miles long, or about one mile longer than St. Gothard, and ! l-a miles longer than Mount Cenis. The .heieht ia pins feet ten inches and
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
He Was Surprised.

A little Scotch by, about four or five years old, was i'll of fever, and the doc tor ordered his head to be shaved. The little fellow was unconscious at the time and knew nothing of it. A few days after, when he was convalcsccnt,
 he happened to put his hanl to his head, and after an amazed silence shrieked out ..Mitherl mitherl my heads barefoot. !"
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

In general review of tho work. under tho direction of the United States Agri- cultural Department of making sorghum sngar at Fort Scott, Kun, Prof. Wiley who was in charge, says: "The most important point suggested is the abso- lute failure of the eexper.mcnt to demon strate the commerc al practicability of manufacturing sorghum sugar."
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
A Guarnntee.

Nervous patient, in dentists chair Will it hurt much, doctor3
 Dentist reassuringly)-rll guarantee it won't hurt bit.
 Nervous patient (not convinced )-But what if it should, doctor2 What would your guarantee amount to9
 Dentist (evidently sure of himsel0 Ill hurt you, my dear sir, I'll pull every tooth in your head and it won't cost you cent.--Harper's Bazar.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
A Lucky Find.

Husband-I was in great luck to-day. found silver dollar on the street.
 Wife-I wish you would give it to mo, John. Baby needs new pair of shoes.
 Husoand-G.v it 10 youl Why l spent 1t, and another dollar with it, collaborating tho event. --[N [Naw York Sun.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Snarkle. But No Pop,

"How brilliant Augustus De Chatters is," said Miss Asilins Le Frittcrs to her friend, Josephina McBoltz, as the e!c' gant, gilt-edged youth left the room. "He really is like champagnc--he has SC much sparkle about him."
 "Yes," answered. Miss McBoitz, "but there's no pop about him. He's been alone with me for an hour past and never said word to the point, though was hoping every moment he'd go of. 1.-The American.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

A wren has built her nest under the caves of car on a South Carolina rail- road, and makes four trips over the road every day. The bird pays no fare, and does not appear to be entitled to pass under tho new law. R,spectfully re- fcrrcd to the interstate commission.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Aspirations.

AsplraCiOnS. o songs of wonderful sweetness That my heart with melody alll o strains of marvellous music, That my soul with rapture thrilll Though in vain essay to utter The thoughts you forever suggest The heavenly hopes and yearnings You arou e within my breast. Still I know my life is better For your music in my heart: And your symphonies though silent. Sweet peace to my soul impart And I know each aspiration, Each pure, ennobling thought Shall live on and on forever, In realms immortal wrought. And songs that now are unuttered My soul shall sing one day, When the earthly chains that bind it Shall break in death away.
 Philip B. Strong in Curren
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

It is reported that an American has taken a contract to introduce pop corn to the English people at the forthcom- ing American Exposition in London and has 5000 bnslIeIs ready to shin oYer
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

/ Oac of the rarest Amerlcan coins is the silver dollar of 1894. A citizen of h. diana owns oqs, undoubtedly genuine, for which the lato John T. Raymond offered him, he says, as high as $500. It has been placed on> exhibition as an in- tercstiup rarity
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
/ A man out West wbo, three years ago,
 was worth nothingyis now rated at s4o,-
 900. all made blythe sale of Bohemian" to crcdulo1s farmers at $1O bushel.

An outbreak of cholera that has oc- cured on the west coast of Mexico must : greatly cndangeF Arizona and California and the Gulf ports that are reached by way of the Southern Pacific road.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Life and Death.

 Clouds come in every sky No day will last forever, And roads that nearest lie, The hand of time will sever. No flowers eternal bloom, No loving-Death outlying The voice of the tomb Cry, "All must end in dying" No clouds forever last, No heart is doomed to sadness, The future. present, past, All some fount of gladuess, And flowers that fade today Will bloom when winter passes, In every year comes May, With clover, buds, and grasses The voices from the sky A joyful pecan giving, ''We are not dead" they cry, There is no end to living.
 MAY SPENCER
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
A GOUd Reason.

''Say, Tom, that fellow Stuppin seems to appreciate story" . "Ycs seems to-"
 "L~uyhs at all your jokes"
 "Don't you know why9"
 "N>."
 "Why, I let him have five dollars the other day. Arkansas Traveller.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Connecticut Western News.
 YuBLIaBED AT
 CANAAN, LITcHFlflD CO, CONN.,, EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING. SC. MCKLEY, Editor and Proprietor. Local News a Speciality.
Local News a Speciality.
TRRHlS,

$2.00 per year. if paid strictly in advance. q not paid at the expiration of three months 2.26 will be charged.
 Subscribers desiring their papers dscon- tinued must give notice at the ExPIRArIoN of their subscriptions, any previous notice not being uficient; and unless all arrearsges are paid, papers will not then be discontinued ave ss the option Of the publisher.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18

The badness of an egg can sometimes be told by shaking near the holders ear, but tllc test is dangerous ono.
Connecticut western news., 1887-05-18
Connecticut Western News.
 JOB RIN TIN c

O B kE N \ " "
 ESTADi i.lSilMtNT. Wedding Cards, fosters, ,, Visiting Cards, dsnaolis.
 Business Cards, Proer Ammse
 Fancy Show Cards, DodEsh
 Ball Cards, biuneAoH Letter Headings, StatemenA Note HeAdings, PAmpnlets, Oi-oulars. Receipts, Tas Cards, Milk Tickets, Ao., &o, Printed in tho neatest styles aud at the lowest prices. Advertising Rates, Schedule of prices for Advertising fuI niShed l on application at this office.
 Simple notices of Birth, Marriage or Death arc inserted free of charge obituary notices, l 10 cents per line.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-02-21

Geo f. Wilson had his le., hand injured
lately BY the SHIN of a lath. He was en-
ploved by Lawrence Bros.
Willie Livermore, a buncher at the kind
ling wood fectory had his left hand severely
injured last week
ihe Gardiner band fair closed last Frid,y
n'Rht aud was as predicted success in ev-
cry PARTICULAR. the following is n li.t OF
numb,rs of the season tickets which drew
pr'z zs aud the holders can obtain tho arti-
cies by presenting their tickets to the com
mluee IN charg-: 70! an elegant chamber
t, Mrs Edwards; GA, album s23. lamp;
oI3, hsndkerchi SIT; 293, barrel of n ur;
90. gloves; 56S six htudkerchsf; 3SG,
Ii "t r'is'n-; 500. 81 ; GJ3, cashmere scarf;
ob3, 81; 6Ji par ot gent shoes: 236 nspkii
nns 81 !, tea SET; 8il l, towels 40. c1mm,de
cover; 72S, gents slipper. S5i, one dus,n
cthin't pa r0s; LOG, x of clgr.;SIG. p,r-
lHr rug; GIL, cake basket. Brnnrt; $40,
set oi X i've. ) S"p.r: 9l5. 81 532 box OF
stationary 46S. lahv's Fucker; 40. 81; 800,
haer"l ot II or; TlS. napkin ring; 3I2, 81;
Sal, pslr blankets. ill, dressing ctsr; 9t7,
SIX handkerchief; 5j3 box of cigars; AZ,
""rd "t w"oi: 49, cttv:ng knfe AMI fIrk;
o)O. la i'e,' shpp,r.; Sj9 ST; l6), dress pu-
tcrn-; 9il. 81; 7Si, travelling b,g; 79G,
ladle>' ~"ues "a, 81; l4t, ton nf c,al SJ1,
$; 955. saspendcrs. A large number Of
pr"p'e were present Friday evening drspite
the inci"ment weather. Tne gross proceeds
were $500 ani The net receipts will amount
10 neafIy 500. Eight hundred ani thir;y-
one s'a-On tickets were sold :. Msxcy
AID VI 50 Nrti,e McLain ub aineI u flno
hhle scarf brHue e'slnk on the length of rib
BON wound around "a hugh stick The num-
her of s-'ds IN the squtsh were 333, John
Petersen guessed 337, aud c. NJ. Jewell $50,
aud thy wIll have to devise some way to
settle the propriet"r'hip Of an easy char. Il.
y. LInc lin Is the Recipient ot handsome
SILK quit The length of the chain wa. IL
feet, inches and fraction thereof Tne
pr'za was & :, lhra led cane and was OBJ
tain ID by 7. ii. Winslow and G. 20. N. JJhn-
son.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-02-21
WHAT tiIEf I.Ii>k uF If.
The Views Of the Mrrmon Press on the
Edmuuds- rurkcr Hili.

SALT LAKE Cry Feb. %.
The Mormon pres here hI,p plavs great nj
lariIv over the passage of Tue T. lmund.-
Tucktr bill. saving IT will amount 10 moth.
my. ihr Herald gives long REVIEW OF the
hIii, closing III these words; "Altog th-t,
the Herald c0nsi i-rs the hull a very great
triumph for the people ut u All, and IA vjori-
Gus dtf at TOR the anu Norm ~ ella H. Tru-.
tue measure is harsh, II just and vIoiatlvr of
the theory aud practice Of IN. rrpuhl can
government ~ many Respects bat il ht- been
50 modified since 1t passed the House, and
mas been .bnrn OF 20 many ot worst feat
| ures that rs one Z Itrcs >lhr mra>urt a. il
now stands with the bltl whlh tue rug want
ed, he must cuncede that the victr Is WITH
| the people and defeat with the rang Even
If The bill becomes a law it will work trs If
any Changes in Utah. The people viii still
mold their own.
Tue Drseret News, the chief organ of tn e.
Mormon church. after c0ncrding the pr la.
bil,,ily that tn President ill - the bill, It
say: The Jubi ainn Of the m"ttev lber
crowd whnh Includes all the criminal ele-
mrnts of tie Territory and he h niry AMI
impecuniou. utfi seekers an ba- on f.
ers are terribly toned down Nv doIut. [ ! [
possess Their disappointed sous. If NJ r.
mons should conclude To take test oath and
vote after all, where would he fDu Il the an
! rcp ttlon Of the exp. Giant hu Miners It i.
vicious in miny respects, subvtr-lve of re-
ugIuus or pIlilcal rights, but IL il not any
ihlng like what was wanted hy leaguers and
| mastersf whs have been using up h alt dlilsr>
for the accomplishment of their n-iaripu-
| purpose A. for The thurch # Jesus ChrIst.
at the Latter D,v Saint. the Object OF a.s.ulf, +,
1t will remain unsuppressed by this or any
other infamous act that can be
connected to cripple and d'-troy it.
| There i. nothing in such futile eh rita thar
can change one of its tenents or take from
II any If its power. IL will become mIre
consolidated than ever ,fore because of the
outward pressure to which its members are
subj -cted BY persecution and the Latter Day
| Saints or Mormon, whether the bill becoIn--
| law or not. will trust in God, long live
their religion, pursues their course and fiji
her mission in the world fearless of all op-
position and regardless of ali human con.
| .equences The work is the Lords and who
can stay His mighty hand.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-02-21
DELIGHTFUL WEATHER.
Fierce Gales and Heavy SHOWS in the
West.
CANroN. Dsk.. Feb. 10.

C,>r,x Dst p,h 70
The worst blizz,rt .f me s.,.Ia h,.b..n
raging Throughout D.kt, sine. rh,r.d,x
noon. All lr,in> arr sntsd md and hns;,as.
i sta .t,ni>ttlt on sr.,nnt al IN. ;mm.,..
O iautitv OF saw on tb. yrnunI
MACkiN,w Cry Mich Fab 10
h'gf wind AMI bltnt,n, ,n,. s,,-m 80,
in ~ o'c'ock rhtrsI,y EVENING inrrs,.,n,
IN velocity uaul miJo .,,,;,ni
rii noon yester,itv. |, s.s by .u IA. ,,.
M ~t .sv.y. :, ,rm of IN. sssso, rns
steam r Aiy m ,h ut,eI witb il an ,;,h, nm
her TRIP trnm $. Isnsce I, M,cki,.x ,I,y
stth . u,rry -, ,..,,... -, -
auu Int of tr. OF, Tn. n.ss.,,,.,. an -,
aslore over tn'. 10. AZ n, m .,I r,n,r,,t,,,,
The vessel had broken her shaft half a.. MN.
out The storm TIA. sre,,Iy imn.a., ,s,l,,,I
ii. III. aud lelryrs phic com ma, ,,r,ti,n
uuKox. D,k. Feb 10
The storm that com nruc-d rh,r.d,v nss
not vet ceased Tne wind i, from the nnrt,
but Il nor colt. rh- sn,w Isp,st a. hi.,, =.
lhr frr c top, and The wsy,n rutis ar. m ,.t.
lv imp,.s,nl- tn. Ri.n,,r.t ,r;n .h,,,,
gua. far ssR dieli Tim ..J,, ... br,,,ynt
usck here Yesterday ant n inr nm, iv. fr,,,,
B % king. to V,l,s was I'M. only wh.,l
tur ,,d on 7 NJ miles If The Oak ia Canal
division ~ tn. ,,hic.,oS & Nn,t,,..,..r, r,,t
tndsv. Nn.Gnt Il, m,b. l., rl.,r IN.
roads Iili tne sorn sub.,d.s. To,.n,.f RE-
h ,urs h.v- been m. mn,t dt..yr..,h,..
kno.n in n part of ID ki, sinr. 1881
tuc,G, F.o IN
A sneci, from Assina, ,tn. n ,nt so.
For prrjuI ex ending over th. l,st s,x
We, k =. unprtce,iented SHOWS. b izz,rJ. ant
gales OF ~Iud have rsr,d thrnu III mn. north
ern portion, of M,nrana. untl .m,u',
saiev DEPENDED upnn his r.m,iuin, IN ,n,.
house. For days IN su, g .s.i,n th- mercury
r, r,gistcr,d b,ts,en lOs,u4l brlnv z.r, .nJ
dur,ny on. u.,i of u n,,nr. r.,;.,.ra,5-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-02-21

A RumOr Prevaiiim. that lie will be
Rein>taIed Pa>tOr.

New YORK. Feb 90.
A belief that DR.. NJ, G ynn will BE- rein
stated in ST. Stephen'- church was the pre-
vaiIng sentim mt and topic Of conversalinn
among the parishioners at the church today
Ii is said that DIR. McGlvnn has received
letters not only from many priests OF the
Roman Cotholic church in this country ana
in Europe but he has also letters from sew
eral cardinals and bishops commencing his
course and approving his strength of pur-
pose in holding to his opinions on property
10 land. which are, thew say, consistent with
the doctrines of the church. The theory now
entertained by DR.. McGlynn's friends is thar
he will be reins,ated as pastor OF st. Steph
ems, that he will return to his home in the
rectory and will then go to Rome. He will
never 60 to Rome, it is said, unless he goes
as pastor of st Stephens. The reinstate
ment Of the doctor, is is said will take place
a once,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1887-02-21
THE RISING WATERS.
The SITUATION at Lyons RecomIng More
a nmia.- Fighting the Ice Gorge and
AnchOiIns Buildings.
LYONS, Mich Feb. 10.

LYONS, Mlth Feb. ~.
The situation here Is .rrlble and is b-cum-
ing hourly more alarming. Four squ4ds OF
men are working at the ice gorge in different
places. Despsiring Of opening the river
channel they are working on the ovei fl ,wed
lands where the least opening can be found
De spite the most strenuous forts to open
the water course. the river has risen rapidly,
until NJ the bridge ii is withil u inches ot
he highest mark. Persons coming III from
up the river say that the Lan.ing ice has
near y reached here, and that II is a tremen-
duus mass. Buildings are being ant prtd,
IN ,xpet tation Ihn, the Lansing Ice will me
acrus, the prairie 1t j. feared the wat. r
" i'll vet reach five feet above the present
limits. A cutting west wind il blowing aud
our cit q Ms anticipate the worst result, from
the icy fl 'od.
A Mocklnaw Ciy despatch SAYS: A high
wind and binding snow storm t IN ut q
o'clock Thursday evening. increasing IN We
lociy un il midnight and continuing until
noon yesterday, and WAS by all odds the
most savage storm of the season. The
steamer Algomah bat led with it all night or
h,r TRIP from ST. lgnace to Mackina~ City
With party OF passei grrs and large Load
OF freight. The passengers all came ashore
over the ice at noon and reported that the
vessel had broken her shaft while halt IA mile
cut and could not be repaired for several
days. In the meantime passengers aud
iteight Wul Le teamed across the straits on
the Ice. The storm has generally impeded
railway traffic anu graphic communlca-
ton.