Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-02-26
a,DOlng" aDoessr.

{ that throat disease called Qulnsy. You
can never mistake It for smallpox, and
you never have a suspicion that you
may have fallen from the roof OF third
story building and broken forty or more
bones In your body. You 60 to bed
! feeling in excellent spirits and wiling to
/ pay 40 cents on the dollar. Soon after
| midnight-as soon after as the ailmeni
can d axe it convenient-you wake up
with horrible back ache and bad chill.
You incident hatter yourself that you
are coming down with diphtheria, tY-
/ phoid fever or some other disease which
! viii cause your friends to snxiOusly in
! quire If you have made your will and
/ own q lot in EimWOod. You are simply
booked for fourteen days wrestle with a
common, one-hOrse affair and the sooner
you settle down to it the better for al
concerned.
You may gargle-An gargles ever M
vented, but the throat grows worse. For
two or three days the doctor can place
the handle of a spoon on your tongue
and get q sight of what Is behind, but
you suddenly discover IN your mad
career that you have ''shuU your head"
The Jaws have taken a great liking to
each other and the doctor has to quit
Then you'll turn to daxceed pOultice. 1t
doesn't do anybody good as anybody
can say, but you'll try it. Furthermore,
you'll get a hot compound OF hops and
vinegar and try steamiDg. That never
helped any body, but it's fashionable to
try it. Ali the glands and cords and
tendons from the ear to the shoulder
begin to tighten up, the crevice between
your teeth closes at last, and there you are.
IL some butcher cart hasn't run over you
and knocked some of your teeth out it
won't be any use to try soups and gTuels.
If you've got two or tTIee places where
the Cruel can sneak II you'll presently
wish YOU hadn't. Every time you swal-
low you are lifted sixteen inches of the
chair, and it's health life which you
get tired Of after three or four attempts.
The other day when my eyes were
swollen nearly shut, my jaw ''sot," every
gland and cord as sore as a boil and my
Windpipe nearly closed, the doctor looked
me over and made little speech. 1 shall
remember his every word for the next
hundred years. He said:
''Well, something has got to be done.
Your throat has got to be lanced I've
been expecting for day or two that it
would come to this"
And he lay back In his chair and licked
his chOps-yes, sir, smacked his lips Ike
boy eating a rich plumb
''Yes, I'll be up after dinner" he con-
tinued, signing heavily to think ne
wasn't equipped then. you'd better
lie down and prepare yourself"
( tumbled into bed, wondering ifprOv-
idence would take him of during the
forenoon, and slept to dream that I was
on RdissectiDg table and twelve medical
students were carving away at my body.
Providence spared the doctor. He didn't
even have a narrow escape. He was on
hand soon after dinner, a smile Of salts
faction on his face, and he was followed
by a meek looking young man whom he
introduced as a medical student.
snow said the doctor, ''dOn't get ex-
cited. We shall first chloroform your
I tlied to groan, but it was only {
wheeze- something like a summer gale
blowing into an old oyster Cen.
sand then we shall wedge your jaw
apart. Here are the pine wedges to d.
it. II will Of course, be g couple o
weeks before the cords and glands
get over the effect, but there's no way O
getting around il"
I tried to grOan some more, and thu
doctor laughed. He said it reminded
him of a sigh Of a tired horse as he lay
down to rest.
Didn't have time to sharpen thi
lance at hOme,'' he went on, as b.
began to hone it on a stroP. eff yoI
we're a woman you would be squeam
ish, but as it is you won't care.
expect to lance it II about three places
1t ought to relieve you at once, but
will be some days before the cut heal
up. Read about LOgan's death, I pre-
sumo? Say, james, get him that rocker
Did you bring the chlorofOrm up? POu
, it on this handkerchief and hold it to hi
nose until you zee that he is gone
Where's the wedges and hammer? No
come with your hand
: Something down my threat gave
thrOb and twist and a burst, open fe'
my jaws, and out came the quinsy wit
a rush.
''YOu-you wretchas % I gasped, find
: ing my voice for the first time IN hv
days.
''Now, Janes, Just see there - ez
y claimed the doctor in tones Of mingle
e disgust and despair. ''Just see Whs
. he's gone and done Here was tn
finest case I've had in six months, an
: hes gone and busted I'll I felt in M
c bones that ought to have cOlared hiI
this forenoon, and here's the proof
t James, We will CO."
e Doctor, shall use any gargle"
called after him.
!. "Humphp'
5 sand viii you come In tomorrow
But he never turned or spoke. d
walked down stairs as stiff as a poke
/, climbed into his cutter like q marty
: and when once he had the lines he WOR
= the old horse up with the whip until
d made a mile IN two and a half. e
D hasn't been near me since. I expect he
> greatly put ont, and that he hopes Z
have a relapse, but did do anything
d him? Am I to blame that he left
wedges and hammer behind.
Only a Little one.
% Detroit Free Press.
II 'TimOJhy O'Shag, you had TOW vii
your Bridget last night"
''Did I, soirP'
sand you were seemingly doing yOl
best 70 murder her when the officer a
rested you"
D "WelI, soir, it's all news to N
Where's BndgetF'
\ sim here, dsrlint." called ths wife
p she advanced to the desk.
- EEuT-- 07GL.9v Enr-e "a s-T.rf- -,