davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
DUNDER'S SAYINGS.
The Observations of One Who Looks
With Experienced Eyes.

l doan' belief half l hear-onless i,
vhas scandal. Den I belief it all, and
more, too.
Der fact dot our neighbor can hat q
new coat while we haf to wear our old
one vhas blenty excuse to hate him.
When young man who vhas oudt oil
work and money und IN rags comes 20
you fer help, tell him dere vhas room
at der top" 1t vhas good adyice-und
VERY sheap.
If somebody robs me of 2 cents |
Wis ant him arrested for der principle of
it. Der shmaller der sum der more stick
for principle. You can buy whole car
load of it for cent
When man begins to pelief dot he
owns der earth, it wash time to put hin
up for candidate for constable aud let
him see how few admirers ne has.
When l meet man who hungers to
reform der human race, | took notis dot
he vhas somebody who Yhas tired of
honest labor, or he vhas scarf out OF a
wicked career by der police.
When l goes into grocery and sees
der sign dot honesty vhas der best pol
icy, dOan' ouy some coffee dere. 1t
wash sure to be half Chicory.
If We lose dollar ON der shtreet we
vhas madt because der finder vhas not
honest enough to return it. If we find
fife dollar we feel dot der owner ought
to lose it for his carelessneSs
If you gife somepody advice find out
first how he believes, und den make
your advice to agree with it. Der man
whose advice doan' tally NIT your opin.
ions vhas no good.
doan' shudge a Christian man by
derlength of his prayers or der loudness
of his song. Der question vhas if he
pays his debts and keeps his hens NIT
his own yard.
If we wash in der coal peesness und
giving eighteen hoondred pounds for a
ton, we keep an eye on the wood man
dot he gives full measure NIT his wood.
If l vhas good man 1 like to hat
der fact kept off my tombstone. Der
graveyard critic gifts nobody credit.
Anticipation Yhas big dinner which
We eat up and sthill feel hungry all
oafer.-Detroit Free Press.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
Watterson's Wherefore.
The Boston Traveller says:

Whatever else Editor Watterson. con-
structor of Democratic platforms, and editor
of the COURIER Journal, may BE- or not be, he
is gallant defender of any cause in which
he enliSts, and, if perchance, he is defeated,
he dies hard. Nearly everybody has come TO
the conclusion that President Cleveland, as
the Democratic candidate for the Pre- idency
in 1885, is among the things inevitable. The
gallant Watterson, however, must be reck-
Oned among the exceptions.
The editor of the Journal hopes
that this testimony to his fighting and
staying qualities is not exagge Fated ;
but, as a matter of fact, in letters from
abroad and in ths columns of this paper,
Mr.. W. has taken the denomination OF
Mr.. Cleveland next year for granted,
and has made this Circumstance the
basis of his criticisms, which have been
designed to force outstanding differ
ences to the front. whilst there is time
20 discuss them and to reach some
kind of common ground on which, when
the time comes We can all stand
heartily and work effectivelY.-Coarier-
Journal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE.
A Rural Clergyman's First View of
the Great Structure.

ThePennsylvania annex boat was lust
rounding the Battery. An old clergy
man stepped to the front of the deck,
lifting his eyes with solemn gaze to the
bridge. 1t was a countenance full of
thought, as of q preacher who talked
each Sunday to farmers whose feet fol
lowed the plough. His wife, with sweet
face that had distilled many benedic-
ton upon sick and suffering parishion-
ers, leaned gently upon his arm, and as
ner eyes cought the wonderful span
they filled with moisture, aud she MUIR
INJURED, AT last! at last, see It'll"
The boat sped nearer, and the old
preacher lifted his hat, letting his thin
gray locks hutter in the wind. Hislips
moved as his eyes rested on the towers.
The reporter drew near and this is what
he heard:
Could but stand where Moses s.ooI,
:. And view the landscape DER,
Not JoSdan's stream nor deaths cold food
Could fright me from the shore.
Turning to his wife he said in awed
tones: Sarah, | verify believe this will
stand till the heavens are rolled to-
gether as a scroll, and the last of the
race VIII step from it upon the eternal
shores"
"Oh, oh, look at it now !" exclaimed
the gentle Sarah, as heeting cloud cast
flmy shadow over the structure. IAN
unseen hand has caught the silver cob
webs. 1t is vision from fairyland."
1t reminds me-" said a deep toned
voice at the reporters side, "of the
frosted dew in which the Tai MahaI AT
India seemed bathed as I looked at it
under the beams of full orbed moon.
have travelled in all lands, and in NV
dreams | couple these two as the most
beautiful specimens of mans handiwork
upon which my eyes have rested. They
are wo. thy to claim kinship with Mag
ara and the sea-"
The old clergyman turned and ex-
tending his hand said: Thank Won.
The Almighty made Niagara and the
sea, and the everlasting hills, but it was
a greater creation when He made the
soul that conceived this wondrous com
blnatlon OF strength and beauty. Unto
Roebling is given a double mortality.
his name will abide while the earth shall
stand. His soul abides in the heavenly
land"
The boat tounched the dock, and the
aged couple were soon lost in the MAJ
of car tracks. but their eyes were still
tracing the outlines of the great bridge
as the reporter hurried up Brooklyn's
big hlll.-New York Sun.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
Seemingly Eradicated

With repeated and powerful doses OF
ouinine, chills and fever, in some one OF
It's various forms, springs into active
existence again, often without the
slightest apparent provocation. To ex-
tinguish the smoldering embers OF this
obstinate and reconcile malady, no less
than TO subdue it when it RACES iercely
in the system, Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters is all sufficient. When every
resource o. the pharmacop@ia has been
exhausted against it in vain, the Bitters
conquer twill remove every lingering
vestige OF it. Nay, more, the Bitters
VIII protect those brought within the
influence of the atmospheric poison that
begets malarial disease, from its at
tacks. Disorders of the stomach, liver
and bowels, are among the complaints
to be apprehended from the use OF
miasma- tainted water They are both
cureI and prevented by the Bitters.
Rheumatism, constipation and renal
complaint, yield to its action.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
The Laoetrv Kiss.

Mrs. Langtry has invented kiss tina t
double discounts anything of the kind
ever attempted by Emma Abbott. AS
Lady Clancarty her husband escapes
from his pursuers through an open win
dow into her room. She stands with
her back 10 the audience clear down the
stage, near the footlights. The husband
looks at her moment and then rushes
wildly into her arms. Then both swing
around and expose their profiles to the
audience. Then they hold each other
at arms length. Then her bosom heaves
and he pants. Then her head falls upon
III. breast, recliningbackward. There is
crimson blush suffusing her charming
face Then he looks down at her, and
she looks up at him. Then there is
preceptible pressure around the waist.
Then he suddenly places his lips TO
hers. Then she clasps him around the
head. Then there is soft, gurgling
sound. as OF water escaping from kit
chen sink. Then they are, as it were,
glued together. Then all is still.
Women in the audience become nervous.
Bald headed men are paralyzed. Men
around town have their watches out
timing them. One second, two, three,
four, five, six, seven-and then there is
an explosion, as if the bung had blown
out of beer barrel. 1t is all over. This
is the Lsnstry kiss.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
= Oapt.,n.s rortunnr. Disoovsry

Capt. Coleman, scbr. Weymouth, ply
ing between Atlantic City ano n. :,
has been troubled with cough SO tnai
ne was unable to sleep, and was induced
to try DIR. Kings New Discovery ioI
Consumption. 1t not only gave MN
instant relief, but allsyed the s1Irsms
soreness in his breast. His cnnorN1
we're Similarly affected and single dose
had tbs same happy effect. Dr.. King 9
New Nev Discovery q now tbs standard
-enedy in the Coleman houShold and
On board the schooner. Free Trial
Bottles of this Standard Remedy at 4 q
u. I. DRUG Store.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22
Bucklen's Arnics Salve.

The BEST SALyE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands.
ChiIblains, Corns, and all skin erup-
lions, and positively cures Piles, or 20
pay required. tits guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price twenty-five cents per box.
For sale By q. c. n. !.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22

A Chicago church that paid its pastor
Sc 600 year and let him spend several
months in Europe, paid the assistant
pastor $500 year and required him to
stay at home and do the work. The
assistant pastor is now crazy as a re-
suit of pursuit by his creditors. A town
in which things like this happen should,
Is soon as it hangs it anarchists.
institute a search for local causes OF
anarnhv
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-05-22

New York has still another new
wrinkle TO introduce. On the 25th inst.
law will take effect making Saturday
half-holiday. This will release all
EN- ployes at II o'clock Saturday, and
will also introduce the customary Incl
dents of banking payments and other
business forms. This legislation is in
the spirit of the English labor laws, one
of which makes the weeks working
stint fifty-six hours, ten hours being the
daily working unit, with reduction oil
four hours on Saturday afternoon.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
The Mexican and His Lottery.

The Mexican Is patient; he scans the
lottery sheets announcing the drawings,
and, if his ticket has drawn nothing,
he lights d fresh cigarette and buys a
fresh ticket. This morning my oppo-
site Ieighbor III the horse car was a
tired looking old woman who had evi-
IDENTIFY seen better days. She smiled
thoughtfully to herself, and, after fid.
getting about for a few minutes, fur.
lively drew from her pocket a lottery
ticket which evidently had drawn some.
thing, for she rode on as near as she
could go to the Office where the money
is paid over to the winners.
Everybody buys these tempting little
flimsy tickets, printed Oh paper so thlr
that summer zephyr would easil
blow them mile. The stout priest
the corner of the street car takes out /.
ticket that he has Just bought. and
looking at 1t scrutiniZIngly, puts it asid
in long pocketbook, as If 1t were
share In some promising venture. Yor
| servants buy ii kets, and the beggr
who extorts real from you will hury
around the corner, not to buy a drln,
but, rather, ticket in the great day
/ wheel turning show, the one busines
that never stops, is always flourishix
and which pays salaries year in al
year out to Its employees.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
shipping Gold To Europe

When one recalls the millions upon
millions of dollars in gold that annually
seek Europe to provide for the necessi-
ties of our import trade, the question
of how gold Is shipped to Europe
becomes d curious and interesting
one. The Bank of America is
the largest single shipper of gold
abroad. Shipments are made in stout
kegs, very like the ordinary beer keg.
Every one contains $50, 900 in coin or
in bar gold. The latter IS the favorite
for these shipments. since the govern
ment has permitted the sub-tTeaSury to
exchange Uar for gold coin, as coin in
81 900, 900 shipment IS liable to loss
10y abrasion of from eight 10 twenty
ounces, or from Sl2S to $500; and the
bars only lose about three fourths of
that amount. Where coin is sent dou-
bic eagles aie preferred. They are put
in stout canvas bags, each bag contain
ing l25 double eagles, or 5000, and
ten bags fill each keg.
About the only precaution taken
against tampering with kegs is treat
ment of the keg ends technically known
as red taping." Four holes are bored
at equal intervals TO the projecting rim
of the slaves above the head. Red
tape is run through these, crossing on
the kegs head. the ends meeting at the
centre, where they are sealed to the
head by the hardest wax and stamped
with the consignor's name. The aver
age insurance is about Sl.5O0 per 81 OO0-
600. Then there is an expense OF - a
keg for packing and carriage aboard
ship. or 5000 for the same sum, and the
inevitable loss by abrasion, whatever it
may prove 10 he. There are great
Wall street firms shipping from S25,-
OU0, 900 to $40, 900, 900 annually. Some
of these have for years insured them
selves. and assert that the saving has
been sufficient to replace a loss of
81 100000. These are large figures.
but this has become country of large
figures and affairs.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
given me some announcement,

surely given me some encouragement,
KittyP''
AhI how her heart was beatngl
When he said kitty" in that mourn
full voice she thought of Charlie and
just how his dear voice had sounded.
''Have been mistaken, Miss Bellp
Is there some one else you care
for?"
at that Kitty burst into tears and
hid her face in her hands, and
sobbed as If her heart would break.
kitty, speak to mel Tell me what
1t all meansl Either you care for me
Or
81 DON'T" cried Kitty. There is
only one man in the whole world that l
care for, and he doesn't care a particle
for me, and that is what L am crying
for''
She stole look at hin, but his face
was turned away from her.
81 am going to tell you just how bad
L am, and then you won't break your
heart, but just be glad to get rid of
me.''
Still no reply, but he was eviden tly
waiting for her confession.
81 had lover.'' and she sighed
softly; "he was the best man living,
most beautiful But somebody made
fun of his looks, and I-I''-
THAT will do. Will you please get
me dish of waterp''
Kitty wiped her eyes, and stared
with all her might
Are you faintP" she asked in awe
struck tones
''Some water, pleasep''
And now Kitty flew from the room,
and came back with a round jar of
| flowers, and tossing the flowers into the
fire held out the jar.
And then this remarkable man
| plunged both hands into the water and
rubbed his face as Kitty had never seen
any face rubbed before. Then he wiped
his face and hands on the neat white
/ apron Kitty wore, tore off his dark hair
and flung it IN corner and faced
| Kitty.
$50 you really think l am beauti-
/ ful?" he asked.
In another minute he had caught her
in his arms and was bringing back the
color to the pale cheeks.
The mustache is my own, and the
dye Will wear off, aud my own bonny
brown hair Will grow again! And you
never knew me, kitty?'
But Kitty was far past mindinglhiSre-
proaches. She was supremely happy.
And am my own successor" he
| whispered, when they had talked 1t all
over, and decided that they loved each
other more than any other lovers in the
world could. and Kitty had promised
solemnly to marry him in month, anC
he had sealed the promise with klsse:
too many 10 count.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
Marriage From Earliest Times.

The earliest and universal blood rela-
tiCn was in Arabia, as, indeed, in all
primitive societies, kinship through the
mother, the latter being considered the
most sacred trust of every stock-group.
The oldest marriage system in Arabia,
as elsewhere, was pOlyandry of the so
called nair, III which the woman re-
manned among her own people and re-
ceived suitors from other tribes. whom
she could choose and dismiss at Will,
being on an entirely equal footing with
her partners and In which all the issue
of such loose marriages belonged eX-
clusively to the mothers stock. The
husband either remained with his own
kin and visited his wife at intervals
only or he joined his wife's stock alto
gether, being liable, however, to dis
mIs5al at any time.
The transition from female kinship
to that system of male kinship which
Is the only legitimate one in the time of
Islam began when nair polyandry was
gradually superseded by that of the
Tibetan or bal type, in which group of
kinsmen brought a woman from an
other clan into their own as their com
mon wife, and naturally reduced her
from the position of sadica, with the
free disposition of her favorS, to that of
ba'u!uh, possessed or captive
woman. 1t is obvious that this custom
must originally have boen established
by capture in war, and that bal mar
rage by convenant developed at much
later period. Here again monandry
took by degrees the place Of polyandry,
the more powerful or wealthy member
of clanship being naturally desirous
to have a wife to himself instead of
sharing her with all his brethren; and
therefore we are fully Justified in say
ing that individual marriage was not
the result of fine feeling, but of gross
state of society, and that the more CIV
ilized ideas of conjugal fidelity followed,
and did not precede, the new state of
things,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
THE NATION OF LONDON.
Socially and Intellectually it is Larger
Than Russia.

There is the great nation of London,
more populous than Scotland, Holland,
or Switzerland, and destined TO surpass
Belgium in population before the end
OF the century. In London the English
character has certainly undergone a
great modification. A provincial CON-
ing to London, is still geographically
In England, but otherwise he hardly
knows where he Is. at first he does
not belong to the place at all; after
some experience of it he finds out
whether he belongs to London natural.
ly or not-that is to say, whether there
is that in him which may develop into
harmony with the larger intellectual
atmosphere OF the place. Physically,
London may be as big as Loeb Lomond !;
socially and intellectually, it Is larger
than Russia, and may we'll form sort
of State.
The English character in London
has become more open, more tolerant,
better able to understand variety of
opinion and much more ready to appre-
ciate talent and welcome thought of all
kinds. The nation of London is essen
tally modern and democratic. not car
ing who your grandmother may have
been, If only yourself were to its taste;
but at the same time it does not desire
to be coarse and uneducated democ-
racy; it values culture and taste far too
highly to sacrifice them to low
equality. In word, London cllngs to
her own standard of civilization. If
you come up to that standard, If you
have refinement and just money enough
for housekeeping or unpretending ele-
gance, you may be an infidel and a
radical, and London will not disown
you, London will not cast you out into
the cold. Although London happens
by chance to be situated on an island,
it is not more insular than Paris.
The nation of London Is of all na-
tions the most cosmopolitan, the most
alive to what is passing everywhere
upon the earth. 1t seems there as If
one were not living so much the life OF
one nation as the worlds life. You
speak of some outlandish place at a
London dinner table, and are never
surprised If somebody present quietly
gives description of 1t from personal
knowledge. The thoughts and actions
of all mankind settle themselves into
more just proportions in London than
anywhere else. In Paris, with all IL
brightness and intelligence, you are con
stantly compelled to recollect that you
are il France, as in Edinburgh that
YOU are in Scotland.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21

know what he wants. 1 shall wire ac-
ceptance at once, and Well burn the
oil OF sale tomorrow morning."
BY the next morning post came the
bill of sale and Mr.. Zsrubbable's check
for $50. Mrs. Meyilp consigned the
former in solemn silence to the flames,
and her husband put the latter into his
pocket. AS he did so he pulled out
the letter Mary Anne had given him
the evening before, and which in the
excitement of the moment he had COM
pletely forgotten.
1t was from Mr.. Abiram Levi, Offer
ing him ei00 for "Chloe Counting Her
Chickens"
"lt never rains but 1t pours," cried
the delighted artist, tossing the pict-
are dealers note across TO his wife.
The next merry meeting, after the
opening of the academy, between
Zerubbabel and Levi, was enlivened by
angry recriminations. Mr.. Zerubbabel
accused Mr. Levi of willfully mislead.
ing him, and the latter replied, chuck
ling: $50 l was right, was II 1t
was you who tried, and. In fact, par
TALLY succeeded in spelling my market
with Megilp. L would advise you, the
next time you make use of a friend IS
brains to be sure that you know what
you're about"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
a fragment.

,,-b wooI-,aues where the ghost OF
ISr- departed days ..,;.,..,.. =,
.,r t--,,.-. the strange, deep solltudes, n
: Oh. ,,,re. r. surhr1.liug spell
nv unwilling feet along the lone
,,.., 'olrs '..l.sr,'y Mn n (ah, me! scarce
"a ca" 5--anv .-.r melody 50 thrilled and
touchrJ my heart ,.,.-,.. H.,
,,r from restless multitudes l walked
with it, sweet mystery.
,.-.,-1. borne ou tue wind from shadowy,
vy4vs,Gr uguNs
60 rb- brown leaves and swayed the
W.. IN fB, echo Dim of hidden mountain
p'Irfrr theEr frosty streams along the
misty vale,
nv lint "A wrrlygrI weed that rustied neath
reglv snow a sound, sal As the beat of
o- -r--t.rlu.tau graves, moved my hearts 5
depth, with sweet
And muuruul .0ugiuEs, deeper far than
.-f g,-r rar wasted years-swift rs the
swallows u.-Hr,
NJ, -l.a.-lt> Susl back across the bleak,
Gr.Jr might,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
The Sober but Merry Old Gentleman.

One evening not long ago there was
arrested in Boston an old gentleman
of position and of cherry habits. The
policeman said he had found the old
gentleman on the street very drunk.
The complaint was entered against
him, but as he seemed to be able to
get about he was released on his recOg
nization and sent home in a hack,
which he paid for with great alacrity.
When the case came up in court the
only witnesses summoned to prove his
condition were the policeman and the
old family servant of the accused,
faithful and devoted retainer.
The policeman had given his testi-
mony, which was unqualifiedly to the
fact of the old gentleman's intOXica-
tion. Then the old servant was called
to the stand. There was a mingled ex-
preston of Indignation and determine
tion on his countenance. He testified
fatty, to the surprise of the court
room, that the old man was softer
when he came home. The prosecuting
attorney proceeded to question him.
"You say that Mr.. was sober
when he came homer"
Yes, SIR"
"Did he go to bed alone?"
mo, SIR"
Did you put him to bedP"
"Yes. SIR"
"And he was perfectly soberp"
Eyes, SIR"
"What did he say when you put him
to bedP"
''He said goodnight"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21
fl Smelt Like the Old Man.

a friend of mine has just come back
from taking look at the Hawaiian re-
volution. He says he heard small
Hawaiian kid get off something that
was a whole moral lesson all in itself.
The child had found an old gin bottle
and he was smelling it and evidently
enjoying the odor intensely. His mother
called to him:
"What are you doing with that?"
sits bottle"
"What are you rubbing 1t against
your nose forp"
sit smells Just like pa.''
Somebody had better get mp treaty
and control the Importation of cloves
in his country.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-09-21

The first English almanac VS.
brought out at Trinity college, Car
bridge, in l34I, and the first print1
almanac appeared In London abouta
hundred years later.