davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Courtshjp I'm Greenland.


ARDENT LOVERS MUST SOMETIMES FIND 1T yExATIOUs
TO HAVE TO EMPLOY A GO-BETwERN.
From the Manchester Courier.
The preacher Is invariably resOrted to both by
young men and maidens, as the matrimonial agent.
A young man comes to the missionary house and
says to him: 81 want to marry"
"WhOm?" asks the missionary. "Haye you any
one In mind?"
"Yes, +" answers the lover, "but she will not have
me. want you 10 speak to her."
"Have you not spoken for yOurself7"
"Many times, but she always says NO."
''That is nothing" says the pastor; s.you know
the ways of maidens. Does she like your"
ut Is difficult TO find out. She will tell you"
comes willingly enough, knowing what the mes
sage means.
SWsil, my daughter" he observes. sit is time
II never mean to marry" is the invariable and
conventional answer.
'That is pity" says the minister, ''because I
have good husband for thee"
''Wh0 Is he?" she asks.
The missionary then tells her his name-al-
launches out into the lovers praise He is strong.
gOOd-lOoEtng, kindly; he caught two fine whales
when his companions took none, or whatever else
his merits has been rec1ted the girl replies:
"Bpt think him good-for-nOthing."
IAN, we'll" says the missionary, ''thou art not
wise. There Is no Lad can fling a harpOon as he
can. shall soon ind him WIFE,"
He then wishes the girl good day, affecting to
to nnger, and after blush and sigh She whispers,
$50 1t Is particularly your wish, Herr PASTOR
do not quite like him." with a deep sigh, 'but II
over the business to the minister VINO has to tell
her that she knows she loves the lad; that she
would not hay have come II she had not thought Of
TO ask the blessing Of God upon their union.
The marriage, curOuSly enough, usually takes
emphatically protested that she WITH never have ave-
the bridegroom.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Word About Sports.

Ebridge 8. Brooks, in August Wide Awake.
1suppose there never was nation, race or peo-
pie since first the earth was made that did not
have girls and boys who not only loved play, but
did play, and with q will The Eskimos OF the
frozen North, the Tupinambras OF the Brazilian
pampas, the gamins OF the Paris streets, the boys
and girls OF London and Boston ana New York have
In their nature one kindred tie-the love OF sport
There is nothing new under the sun, said the
youthful games. Arch@ologtsts md weli-beloved
dolls In Egyptian pyramids and on prehistoric
tombs; the name Of popular ball club was found
houses, and one OF the most exciting matches on
record was the one, stubbornly fought, between
Of o.
ancient Greece and Rome played at whip-top and
Quoits and base ball, and pitch-penny, and blind
follow my leader just as do the boys Of to-day;
the girls were experts at see-saw, and swinging
and dancing and grace hoops and dice throwing
and Dall-play, and, in Sparta, even at running,
wrestling and leaping. Tobogganing is as old as
ice and snow, and when you play at cherry-pits
you are only doing what Nero, and COmmodus,
and young Tnemistocles did ages ago in Rome
So, whatever the age or whatever the cline, the
boys and girls OF the world have always lived more
for play than anything else, and however harsh
or hard their surroundings however stern or strict
their fathers and their mothers they always found
and always made the most OF the time for play
and, more than any other season, the time for
summer sports.
into as many sciences, over-weighted with rules
and restrictions that often take the real play ele-
ment from them and make them as unyielding and
Sedate as problem in algebra
Now, While rules and restrictions are undOubt-
eddy necessary, there is such thing as going too
far, and am inclined to believe that the boys and
girls prefer to follow the castiron cub rules" or
league rules" only TO the verge OF cast-ironneSs"
and make their sport. If less absolute. at least
more jolly. There Is no fun in making our sport
a matter Of life and death.
know grown people who, in these days Of prize
giving In all manner Of games, center their whole
desire, not on the fun OF the game, but on the
prizes offered. They really seem as disappointed
II they 90 not carry OF a trophy as ii they had
met with some serious loss. Let us take our fun
with jollity or not at ALL Interest is one thing
and 1rritab1lity is quite another
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Trickery i'm Fancy Soaps.
NJ, ho Dbl To- alpl.S, n.


Experience is necessary in the purchase of fancy
soaps, remarked q dealer the other day. "You
are not always sure that you are getting the
worth OF your money. A good toilet article should
not contain more than from 9 to IS per cent OF
water. The INSCRIPTIONS manufacturer increases
the amount OF water in various ways In some
instances he forces water into the soap as it
hardenS after the boiling it undergoes; in other
cases he mixes the water by mechanical means
into the soap; In third and equally large class of
cases he introduces some powerful chemical, such
as Giauber'S salts, which enables him to introduce
as much as 20 per cent OF water. 1t is Obvi-
GUS therefore, that ten pounds OF honest
toilet soap would contain nine pounds
II thoroughly dried, and that ten pounds
treated chemically would contain less than
three pounds Nor is the wrong confined to SELL
ing three pounds for nine to the Innocent pur-
chaser. The spurious soap is affected by water
five times as much as the genuine. In the wash
bowl or bath-tub it disSOives visiby before the
eye Where Its honestly made rival can be used
fifty times 1t only lasts ten. II left by accident In
the water 1t d1ssOlveS until the surrounding LIQUID
Is thick sudS. There are soaps OF this sort in the
market which are advert1Shed as first-clasS and
sold at high prices. Have an eye ON the man who
calls on you and pretends to give you bargains by
letting on 1t is the last OF the lot and tempts you
with quick falling scale OF prices. The perfume
Is there and the snowy wrapper, but it's 60 per
cent water instead OF honest SOAP"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
The English Sparrow Again.

From the American Magazine.
Many years ago We first made the acquaintance
OF the sparrow, and we were fascinated by his
saucy, cOntented drOllery. 1t was in London. and
just outside the window within which our studies
were supposed to be carried on was leaden roof.
whereOn could be observed at every hour the do
nestle manners and social customs OF these rest
less little rascals. We were never tired of their
ant1cS-ther tempeStuOuS love making their fnde-
fattgable housekeeping, the petulant uuarrels
sharp tOngued and sharp beaked too; and they cast
shrewed little galceS from time to time at us with
much the expression OF party OF SavageS making
merry near the great idol OF some divinity Since
those days. like most other Americans we have be-
come rather btase on this subject less responsive
consider him no better than winged rat In fact
he is In one respect good deal worse for he is do
ing what the rats cannot dO:-driVing our song
birds from their former hauntS about our homes to
distant and unknown resorts, where they can be
free from his chattering prosecutions About our
home there are fewer song birds than ever within
our recollection. Not a single catbird came last
summer, nor could we hear OF one about the neigh
.bOrh0Od; not wren; not even the valorous little
Oluebird; not tanager; not O martin: not an
Or1Ole. Formerly there were many, and the groves
morning and evening reSOunded with their mingled
notes; last year they were fewer; this year there
OF orchard orioles were indeed seen for q week or
80, but were soon killed or driven OF. Only the
robins and the spotted thrushes hold their ground
and who can tell how long they will do SO? THESE
three pests SparrOwS, red squirrels and strOllinp
cats, have among them done the mtSchief and
every lover OF birds should give orders to have all
such vermin shot at sight. 49,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06

From the Popular Science Monthly.
The complaint about the degeneracy Of the
human race is not new, but dates as far back as
the time OF Homer, at least, for the men of his day
were not like the heroes OF whom he sang. It is
not confirmed, but is contradlcted by all the tan
gtble facts, and these are not few. Human re-
mains that are exhumcd after having reposed in
the grave for many centuries, as In the catacombs
OF Paris, have nothing gigantic about them. The
armor the culrasses and the casques OF the war.
r1ors OF the Middle Ages can be worn by the mod
ern soldiers. and many OF the knights suits would
DC TOO small i0r the cuirasSterS OF the European
armies, yet tney were worn by the selected men,
who were better fed, stronger and more robust
IMAM the rest OF the population. The bones OF the
ancient ancient Ganis, which are uncovered in the exca-
vatlons OF tumolt, while they are OF large dtMen-
si0ns, are comparable with those OF the existing
populations OF many places In France. The Egyp-
tlan mummiee are the remains OF persons OF small
or medium stature, as are also the Peruvian and
MEXICAN mQmmleS, and the mumm16s and bones
found IN the ancient monuments OF India and
feINa: And even the most ancient relics we pos
seSS OF indvduals OF the human species, the bones
o. men who lived 10 the tertiary period, an epoch
Inc remote antiquity OF which goes back for hun
areds OF centuries, do not show any important
the modern man.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
The Moon and the Weather.

From the Popular Science Monthly
During long storm, persons who are well
versed In weather lore are often heard to console
themselves with the prediction that there will be
a change Of weather when the moon changes.
Nasmyth and Carpenter characterize as q popular
error in its most absurd FORM this belief that the
gradual turning OF the moons face toward and
away from the sun could, at certain points unset
the existing condition OF our atmosphere generate
same may be said OF much OF America) the weather
changes about every three days, and there Is
change OF the moon every seven days SO that
many condolences must occur. Those who believe
that "the moon rules the weather" always credit
such condolences to lunar influence. But the
theory Is untenaOe unless 1t applies to every case
the same cause. 10 suppose that change OF the
moon will turn dry weather to wet, or wet to dry.
contrary TO all meteorological records
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
When His Wife is Away.

from the Philadelphia Bulletin.
married man may feel a certain degree OF lone
illness at this while his wife and family are
away from home at the SeashOre or mountain re-
sort, but with it comes feeling OF freedom and in
dependence that cOmpensates for the absence of
loved ones. These are the days which the married
man enjoy, Notwithstanding the oppressive heat.
and when he Informs his wife In his daily letter
that he Is "doing very WELL" he means all he saws
Yes, lie Is doing very we'll He can now spend
his evenings In the hauutS of his bachelor DAYS:
he can come in at the most unreasonable hours
and retire without an animated discussion as TO
the accuracy Oh the clock or a Caudle lecture He
can leave his place OF business and stand on the
corner talking politics long as he feels aIspOsed
he can run up TO the Casino and wait at the door
until the last auditor has passed out without fear
OF after consequences; he can smoke in every room
in the house, should he so desire, and he dOns his
Sunday clothes every morning without exciting
the slightest suspicion OF being called upon to an.
Swer pertinent questions. He may tell the neigh
borS how much he reels the absence OF the family
but he does 1t for the purpose OF having his regrets
repeated to madam on her return. 1t is this that
accounts for the great number or men to be seen
walking the principal thOroughfareS In the even
ing.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Saturday Snailes

Young Housew1fe-"What miserable little eggs
again! You really must tell them, Jane, to let
nal
Carrie-"where have you been?,
Ciara-"fve been to the druggists to get some
Carrie-"What did you get?"
Clara-"Weil, got some gumdrops and pound
OF marshmallow paste, and pot OF rouge, and
cream soda, and sacRet.n anu glass Vi vanilla
Carrie-"Poor thing. You must have good deal
OF sickness at your houSe."-1Ovn Topics
New drug clerk-''Beg pardon, sir, but that young
lady who just went out asked you for infant pow
Old druggist-"Yes."
"But you gave her regular face powdern
eyes, l always make that mistake That's how
! got up such big trade. II a woman really wants
ih na, po"aer sae VIII Insist upon having it."
fellah! I'm no gent" 'S'
Hotel porter Din apparent confusion)-"Bep vi
pardon, Miss. but y'r clothing deceived me"
Fat party-It's id hot! Oh beg pan1on Misc
Really, did not observe lN'A' '''''
Young iadymDont mention it, pray. don't
mlnu "a little swearing. work In telephone ex-
change. Besides, guess you are right.-Omano
Strong minded Woman to a relative, who had
ton In the orchestra. He plays first nddie.n
Kelatlye-"NOt at home, does he?"
ost M he aGes ns play S ad!s a.
"What book has helped you most in ufe,, 7
asked my friend as home we took our way ono
day, and he replied, my pocketbOok. nSTos
Populf. va
Omaha man-'T don't hear much about Won,
John L. Sullivan any more" '
Boston man-"POOr man. He has lost all con-
ddence In himself"
"Eh! Met some foreign championfp
"NO; while travelling one day, Just after a rain
storm, he tried TO raise Cal. window for lady
Omaha World
81 have just returned from the ice-cream saloon
with your daughter, sir, whom have LEFT In the
parlor," said the young man, nervOusy, sand-
and-may say word to you, str?"
certainly. certainly" responded the old gentle
ahead"
"rhanks. want to ask you Sir, tiff you coult
lend me i've cents TO ride up to Harlem WithfD-
NeU York Sun.
Gov. Vance said oil he knew about finances wa,
that IT took two better names than his to pe
money out OF bank.-Greensb0r0ugh IN. e,
Workman.
II President Jno Taylor, of the Mormon Church
has gone TO that place where there Is ''neithe
marrying nor giving In marriage" he must fee
| strangely Phuadefphia Inquirer
The walters ready explanation: allow can 70,
give such dirty napkin as this?" "Beg pardon
| SIR; got folded the wrong way STR There SIR
| how's that, now?"-The Nel0 Age.
The chaps you see In the country doubled N
over bicycle are supposed TO be ION pleasur
/ Dent."-Boston Commercial
| Farmer Pilgrin-"T beats all how crazy 20,
Blimpy {who has been riding q cycle and ha
stopped 10 rest moment)-"I don't exactly un
dahstand, me good fellow"
i Farmer P1lgrtn-"Why, you're the tenth roosoe
| I've seen up here buyin' spinnin' wheels thi
IN as busted a. mos the otherx Yourn o daisy.a-
] 1td-Bits.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
The Boston SalesVyOman.

From the Boston Budget.
One OF the visitors to a prominent Boston MILL.
merry establishment the other day was a lady who
was evidently seeking an article OF headgear that
was both neat and cheap but who thinking it
would be derOgatOry to her dignity to state exactly
what she desired consumed the time and the pa
thence OF the saeSwOman by her inspection of
nearly every hat or bonnet in the place. She had
one 1nvariaDle comment as she returned each arti-
Gle TO the SaleswOman and that that 1t was 'tOO
decided, whatever that might be. At length she
said, with an air or extreme condeScension and in
the same unintelligible phraseology: "What
would like 10 see Is Of those nOndescript moth
1ngS-yOu know what l mean" The saleswOman
had not the remOtest idea OF what was meant
but, disguised with the trif1er and her monoto-
nous comment On what had been shown her, re-
piled ironically: 81 am sorry, madam l cannot
suit you, but we neither deal with nor in monde
script nOthingS; on the contrary, our goods and
our patrons are all very decided"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
The Old.FaShiOned BOV.

From the New York Commercial Advertiser
ave talk good deal about old-fashioned
things" said an old gentleman yesterday. 81 tell
you what I'd like to see, and that's an old-fash-
Toned boy. There's big difference between the
boy of to-day and the boy OF fifty years ago. espe-
c1aly in regard to those things that administer
comfort and pleasure Perhaps 1t is only an old
boys Partially for Old ways but it seems to me
thaC the hard experience OF the OLD boys did more
for them In many ways than the softer and easier
lot OF the new boys does for them. The former
were quite as happy with the little they had as
the latter are with their much; and they were
taught-what the others are not-economy indus
try, ingenuity, seItdenial, selfreliance, the value
OF money, the necessity OF labor. Probably the
new method of training boys makes more gentle
men, but the old method made more men; and
she world needs men more than it does gentle
men"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06

A countryman who was visiting friends in PARIS
was 90 delighted with the sight the gay city
AFFORDED him that he did not appear tn want 70
leave In o hurry. When his hosts thOupht ne had
stayed long enough they gave him broad hint By
saying: '---' -
won't your wife and children miss your
"Aon Die1. Quit" said he 81 must write them
to COme."-FfQdro. 'S '--S---
That was merciful man OF South Yonkers who
TOOK MS gas meter with him to the country for q
little rest-YonkeTs GE0tesmon -
An opttmist Is the man who secures an election
ton zfonscstpk ~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06

From the Florence (ArZona) Enterprise.
The Pima Indians select several promising youths
OF their tribe from time to time for Repositories Of
their traditions, Judge j. D. Walker says and they
are carefully instructed in the historical legends
pertaining to their tribe being required to commit
them faithfully to memory. They in turn instruct
their successors and thus preserve the traditions
In the exact language rected by their ancestors OF
many years ago. They have knowledge OF the
tribe that built the old Casa Grande and other
vast buildings, whose ruins new excite such in
tereSt and curiosity. The descendants OF this
tribe now live in Sonora, and from them it may be
possible to learn much Of the civilization that
once prevailed along the ella River
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06

MHUNAN TREATMENT OF A CHID.-An Annano.
LIS special to the Baltimore San says: Mary Green,
second district OF Anne Arundel County for inh,i
man treatment OF her child. She tied It un by the
wrists and whipped 1t until the rope cut Ehrough
made by the WhiDDinQ. "SN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06

Wife 10 husband who has Just returned from a
timer" A-s
Husband-"YeA"
Wlfe-"You must have felt perfectly at homeS
Husband-'Oh, no; I enjoyed myself very
Observation-Disclosures Zfoveley:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Why He Kept Them Out.

From the Omaha World.
St. Peter-"I am ready to resume charge of the
gate; was gone long?" Accommodating Spirit
sit seemed only few moments and attended to
your duties aSwell as could" "Thank you; but,
see here, what did you send those five bad men up
to the highest seats for?" They are millionaires
"Humph! who are these people crouching back
against the WALTZ" "Oh they're nobody; Just or
binary folks; l told them guessed they wouldn't
be put out II they Kept quiet" "Well, we'll; why,
you have refused to allow quite number OF good
people TO come in at all, see; they are poorly
attired to be sure, but their records are stainless
what were you on earth, anyhow" 81 was q
church usher"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
EPPS'S COCOA
BREAKFAST.

DARKERR GINGER TONIC, THE BEST CURE
L for Oou&hs Weak LunRs, Asthma, Indigestion. In.
medicines With Jamaics Ginger. e e.sr.s z curstiy.
R0wes 9Sss e osncr reme@Sc r.. W. 81;
tressing ills 2f The Stomach. Liver. Kidneys spt
would recover their health bY the timely Of Pan
KER's GNGR TONIC It Il new life and strength 20 thu
street, n. i. mh6
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
Judge Goodrich and the Atheist.

From the st Paul Pioneer Press
The late Judge Aaron Goodrich had sincere
contempt for all men who affected to be what they
were not. He never lost an opportunity to pune
ture the thin veil OF their pretensions. One was
discussing with him one day the existence OF a
God. He was an atheist, and remarked with
sheer: 'Tf God lets me alone I'll never trouble
him." "My dear SIR" said the judge, 81 have al
ways had the firm belief that you gentlemen never
had the least cause for worry to Gods bothering
his head about you. He finished with you when you
were created"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
A WonAx's WEAKSEss
WHY AMERICAN WOMEN ARE PALE AND DE-
PREsSED-wHAT ENGLISH WOMEN ARE
DOING NOW IN AMERICA
From the Medical Record.

From the Medical Record
One Of the leading London physicians was In con.
versation with lady OF his Acquaintance yesterday.
"Why IL it." asked the doctor. that many Of the
ladies' whom here pale and apparently wearys
"Oh." replied the lady with whom he was convers.
ing. shat must be your Imagination. doctor"
But how many Of your lady friends in perfect
even good heslth?" asked the physician. How many
can say they tired do not feel and
irritable, depressed with Of bearing down
that Is almost maddenng. How many feel full of life
and sentiment. have healthy appetite, sleep WELL and
really enjoy existence?"
"You coming down to stern facts, DOCTOR" sadly
responded his companion, land may well confess
that out Of my entire acquaintance know of only two
or three women who truly declare that they are
really we'll But what can we do. doctors"
observe the laws of health and take proper exer-
else and stimusnts The English women the finest
physical creatures the face of the globe and they
observe these habits constantly"
But do youthink it right DOCTOR for ladies to take
stimulantss"
AS beverage! No. AS an aid to health and life!
Yea 1t decidedly the fashion in England for ladies
to take pure stimuants aid to health and it is
certainly having good effect One of the most emf
John Gardner says The advocates Of total abstinence
signay fail to produce evidence in support Of their
opinion that all stimulants inmca to health and
longevity Science common sense, Holy Scriptures
and all experience testify to the benefits to be de-
rived"
Only pure stimulants can be helpful to any woman
In writing upon this very subject the celebrated Dr.
]. NJ Carnival says: II most happy to say after
thorough test that for persons suffering with
and general debility any wasting disease or for
delicate invalids Duys Pure Malt Whiskey
is the best tonic and purest stimulant with which
am acquainted" The well-known United States
chemist, r. s. g. Patton, says: Il have made critical
chemical examination Of Dufy's Pure Malt Whiskey
and find 10 be absolutely pure free from fuse oil
aud all other adulterants"
There are thousands Of ladies throughout the land
who are using this pure compound in heathful guam
titles every day. Physicians know how beneficial it is,
and ladies very soon learn its strengthening and
pleasing effect 1t takes women who are in the depths
Of dependency and restores their cheerfulness by i'm
proving their health 1t assists nature to do its work
and thus makes life not burden but . blessing. It
becomes, fact true friend to the tired overbur-
dened. and delicate women who long for some help
that will bring health and happiness au6
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-06
After the Defeat.

It frequently happens that emotional insanity
Is the med1colegai term for what Is called in Ortt
nary Language livery drunk. Philadelphia n.
Qlstrer.