The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-06
BRIGHT BITS.

YOU can be sure that the man who is put down
as a religious fanatic was a fanatic before he
got 70 be religious. 49, Louisville Democrat.
,TENNENs-I am afraid we are going to have
thumbs "Storm, and
mas, Ann JcaK--Now, don't add that old
chestnut about me being so attractive" etc
jenkins No; | won't--in fact cannot CON
scicntiously.'-Pack
LITTLE two-year-old Robert at the breakfast
table the other day heard his father and mother
exchange the compliments of the morning with
their guests until he could stand it no longer,
and interrupted them with; Papa, let me tell
my tory now. ] want some hash.-NCOnCord
IN. H. Monitor
MASTER TOMMY is sick and also indispOsed to
take the prescribed remedy Come, my pre-
cious,' says his mother, you must swallow
your medicine"
II can't"
"One always can when one wants to-"
But / don't want to',-Jlutge
OMAHA MANuFAcTURER-Wel did you sell any
of our automatic fire alarms III st. Louis!
Returned Agent--Ihey won't do there. You
know they go OFF when the temperature of Il
room reaches 1852.
"Of course. y
well, they all began going off while l was
putting EN- up,''-O7Hahd World.
A YOUNG MAN at college wrote as follows TO his
father: My dear father, l have only time
being greatly rushed with my studieS-to send
my love and tell you that wish you would send
have only time-being greatly rushed with my
hay TO send love and tell you that l have not
sent You $50. ''-Arkunsdto Traveller.
Mrs. JUDGE PErERBY of Austin, Tex, was
having her hair dressed by her colored servant,
Matilda Snowfall, when the latter accidentally
dropped the hand mirror. ''Oh, you awkward
thing exclaimed hrs. Peterby. Il never saw
such fool" DE glass amt broke; jess look
in it, replied Matilda picking up the glass and
holding it before Mrs. Peterby'S face.-Terds
Strings
SEE paragraph is going around in the pa
pers about a certain German word which is said
20 be the longest found in any language said
Mr.. Faithful last evening; but that's nothing
est word ever came across il the Rev. Nosah
JyclaEe's One word more and I'll close. That
makes upward of a column generally. "-OJden
Herald.
ONE of the most absent minded of men, a
most worthy minister of the Gospel, lived and
died not long ago in town not far from Con
cord He once called on a lady parishoner and
invited her with characteristic politeness to go
to ride. She accepted gladly and fixed up
only to find with the dominic when they reached
the door that he had made his call on horse
back, and that his chaise was at his home a half
dozen miles away. The horse often led to
q brook TO drink. One morning the loaferS on
| the piazza of the village store were dumb
| founded to see the parson come out of the barn
| with the halter dragging from his hands folded
| behind his back, pass slowly down to the brook,
| then turn and look at the horseless halter and
| hasten back TO the barn, where thirsty old Dob
bin in his box stall was pitying his kind forget
| full old masUer.-CORcOrd ". H. Monitor.
| ONLY gate
| Bent with the weight
| OF youth and maiden a-Swlnging;
Only a word,
| Xephyrs have heard,
| Yet it sets both their young hearts a-singing.
Only a dad,
Dreadfully mad,
| Whose voice starts the maiden a-crying
Only youth
Lifted forsooth,
| And sent down the avenue flying.
Only maid,
Grief unalaycd,
| Our sympathy,s solace demanding;
Only n swain
Doomed t. tine pain,
Just now, of partallng lunch standing.
Boston BUDGET