The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1887-01-13
A WONDERFUL COUNTRY.
HOW A YOUNG ENGliSHMAN WAS
HOAxED IN CALIFORNIA.

of MISUNDERSTANDING and Fishing.
The Victims Good-By.
In the Ralston days when Belmont was in
its glory and its profuse hospitality was the
talk of the country, young Englishman OF
title called upon the banker with letters OF
introduction from the American minister in
London an old friend of Ralston- OF course
he was invited to Belmont. He had come to
San Francisco around the Horn" and, like
many of his order and nationality, had made
up his mind not to be surprised at anything
he saw in this country.
Rather a fine place, you know he re-
marked TO Ralston, as his host "toted' hin
down to Belmont; but some Of our fellows
who out here have told the most out
rageous stories, you know, about California
your bears and immense regattas, and all
that sort of thing-so l have determined to
keep my eyes open imagine, you know,
that they have been hoaxed. BY gad, Mr..
Ralston. | have been all over the world, and
il would take pretty wideawake fellow to
hoax me, don't you knowF
During this conversation Mr.. Ralston regis
tered mental oath that if money or influence
could produce that wideawake fellow he
would be forthcoming before the termination
Of the nohlemans visit At Belmont were
assembled "a few choice spirits. Leaving hls
once called a council of war.
PUTTING THEIR HEADS TOGETHER
This EngIshman must be fooled" hs
said Now let US put heads together
and give him something to talk about when
he returns 10 the London clubs"
The private wire was busy that evening
and close carriage was sent to meet the
next train. No expense spared to make
the Briti>hers stay III every sense delightful
When Ralston and his guests sauntereo
into the dining room the Englishnan opened
his eyes and stared in bewildered astonish-
ment the table service. And well he
might The bottles were of that colossal
size. holding half gallons. which the beer and
wine men for advertising purposes.
Now, Iv Iove YOU CalifOrnians must be
n thirsty lot," said the Engii.hman- Il never
saw such bottles in my life"
"Oh no,Isense." said Raiston; don't you
have thar size in England. They used to
have them when lived there, many years
ago"
THAT size. great heavens, no.
We'll, here goes, anyhow. Peter, some
champagne and the butler proceeded with
inpassive face, opened a half gallon bottle
tizz, the cork going OFF like the explosion
of a rifle As the dinner progressed the
guests piled the Britisher with the most mar
velous tales of the lawlessness of the country:
the bears, lions and antelope that roaned
the neighboring hills, and everything, in fine.
that the fantastic imagination could invent.
1t was arranged to have the house attacked
that night by outlaws, but they feared the
lord might get suspicious, so that scheme was
abandoned. deer hunt was decided upon
for the next morning, and . fishing party
for the next afternoon
HUNTING AND FISHING.
The party were out before daybreak, and
the lord was stationed near a milk ranch,
and instructed not to stir until of the
hunters came to fetch him. When he was
properly planted the others returned to the
house. for the hunting grounds were not .
mile away and amused themselves until
noon with laying new plans for the delecta-
tion of their victim Meanwhile, though
the poor foreigner did not see a deer, hs
heard shots about him at intervals, and
when he was informed that the run wa.
| over ami that there would be no more shoot
ing that day, was taken back to the house
| Il am awfully sorry you did not have
better luck" said Ralston, when the dis
| gusted Britisher appeared. Our fellows
| did fairly, you see," and he pointed to the
carcasses of half dozen deer lying on the
! piazza, which had arrived that day from the
market by the morning train.
| Didn't you really get . shota Confess
! now, you blaZed away at . stag or two, and
missed 'em."
Stag. | assure You, my dear fellow,
didn't see a single beast" protested the NOR
titled nobleman.
We'll, never mind, never mind" said his
host. "we1l see how the fishing pans out"
The fishing took place in pond near the
house But while every one else pulled out
trout, salmon and even rock cod, not a fish
came near the Englishman's hook, though
he angied with the most industrious persist
ence OF course, the San Francisco fish
market had been gutted to permit the sup
ply, and clev erly were the fish attached tC
the hooks and hauled into the boats with
shouts and spashings that his lordship had
not the faintest idea that he was being mos'
unme cifully hoaxed. The rock cod stag
gered him a little, but Rals.on explained
this by the statement that the lake was con
nected with the ocean by a subterranear
stream When every fantastical hoax had
been exhausted, Ralston accompanied hi
victim to the city and saw him homewarC
bound.
by jove, Mr.. Ralston, YOU have a wonder
full country" said the Britisher, as he biz
his host good-by. Il tell you, it viii opel
the ewes ot those fellows at home when
give them history of this visit.-San Fran
( cisco Post