The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-02-23
Dealing With Deaf Witness.

Several wears aso. while Antrim coun-
o. Mich vas in a primitive state ofeivil-
izltiou, a breach Of promise suit came be-
fore the Curruit Court 1T Elk Rapids.
The plaintiff. one Eliza J. Spooner, ale
-ed that VIM. smith had triaed with
her Young affections seriously much He
had. by promise % marry. induced her
togiveup one samuel Jones, who was also
an admirer Of hers and who. under
the smart 1f her refusal had since joined
himself in the bonds Of holy mdtrimony
10 one Lucy skinner. and. in consequence
was now out Of the market, which the
suing party claimed had blizhted her
f,ndest hopes, and cast about SIPS worth
Of gloom over her future.
The plaintiffs principal witness was
Uncle Dave Bagley He was over 20
and very deaf One Of his pecuiiariries
was % always answer question and IL
made no difference whether he under
stood it or Not his reply was ready.
The lawyer for the defense was a little
asthnltic. ch0'eric man named >0mmers,
and this wa- his cruss-examination Of
Uncle Bagley
Mr.. Bagiy. YOU have taken a solemn
oath % tell the truth. the whole truth
AMI nothing but the truth You say that
upon a certain night you saw said Eliza
!. >pooner and William Smith-the man
now before y0u-t0gpther Won also
SAY that upon a certain night you saw
them seated upon Mr. John Spooner's
back porch. Now you viii please state
20 the jury the exact date Of the occur
renee.
Liza Jane Spooner vas settin' on
Bill Smiths lap, an he wuz a
No. no. Hold on interrupted som
mers. sharply. Answer my question
directly and unequivocllly.'
Bill had his arms around her hug
gin her. pursued the old man eompla-
Gently.
The defense glazed angrily at the wit
ness. and then glanced around the court
room. Everyone wore q look ofextnme
felicity that was little calculated tosoothe
his rutfled temper Turning 10 the Wit
ness again he asked emphaticaliy
You do not seem To catch my mean
ing. simply asked the date Of this oc-
curenee.
- Yaas. that's what 1 said. Kissed her
f1rtv-~even times in le-s'u twenty min
ures. and then
Sommers pawei the atmosphere ex-
citeily and howiei
When did this occur
Oh Wv didn'te say - af1re. Young
man Then redectively Waal, be-
inst I'm unier oath I sl 4 iedee't might
q ben a .eetie arter ID J'ciockt night
The lawyer nearly choaked, bat seeing
that be was al-t losing ground with the
jury. he partially riiliet and said quite
slowly.
- mean the date What was the date
ofthisg~
on, / she'd iedze she >9t on his lap
half an hcur'n then they changed ofrn
he -ot on
This Wa TOO much. The jurvmen
we're all couvuI-ed with laughter The
Judges solemn face widened into
grin. S0mmers stood up and began
speaking excitedly
Uncle Dave watched him for two or
three minutes. and then, thinking that
he was talking about Miss Spooner, he
squeaked ou.
Now you look a here, young feller,
don't never say n0thin agin' Lizy Jane
Iizv James ez fine er gals evertrod shoe
leather. Taint nothin agin her if Bill
smith oodded her up % think he'd splice
up with her
Bot the old man was removed from the
box. and as he walked down the room he
groVied ont.
f Young fly trap E may fool
young gal out'en her feIler. butte can't
cod a mold man ike Uncle Dave Bagiey.
No Stree