The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1887-03-20
A CHASE FOR A NAT.

A CHASE FOR A NAT.
An I.-sA>as Fren Real LIZ. showing
How Fate Mixes ThingS
Written for the Palatka News.
We wish TO tell brief story about
chase for hat in which two well-known
persons took leading parts
why does a miller wear a white hat =
was an old riddle. The answer was
because it covers his head" This is
not always the best reason why people
wear white hats. Most men who wear
white hats claim that they wear them
because they are more becoming to them,
but the naked fact is they are chosen be-
cause they are more conspicuous, and
those who love publicity always exhibit
their weakness in the color of hats
Reader, if you are an observing person
you must have noticed that modest men
are times when a man has no choice,
when from circumstances he is COM
PEELED to wear Just such hat as falls to
his lot, for instance, if one should be the
last from the table of a railroad eating
house, or last from a cheap dance In
these cases there are seldom anv choice
of hats.
But we are off from our story. We
Just depressed to show hat our heroes
were modest men, and offer their hats in
evidence. Take such men as Col. Hart,
Major Conant, Judge Harrison, Col.
Shall0u all modest Thau
wear white hats. You can not tell so
much by the style Of a mans hat as by
the color. There are in reality only two
styles or classes Of hats. They are COM
monty called stir and ''slouch." The
plug" is classed with the former, but it
is a relic of barbarism, and only tolerated
to add imaginary dignity when the
wearer is deficient. 1t is mostly con-
| ferred to preachers and judges.
But we are off from our story again.
Not only the color but the manner of
wearing a hat makes up the character of
the man. Said a landlady-and who
knows more of the character of men at
first sight-"If can see a mans hat
can tell whether / have a spare room in
| my house" If he had a shocking bad
hat, her house was full, be it never so dull
II he wore a good hat square on his head
| room in the house. If leaning on the
right side. second class room. If on the
left side she put him in a room with one
of her boys. If pulled down in front she
demanded pay in advance. We ought
to charge a small fee for this informa
ton, but have no time To collect, so vii
give it free.
A well known real estate man, resid
ing on the Florida Southern, came t,
town the other day to do some
business with the County Clerk. He
entered the office and, being a mod
his hat, black hat of course, and laid j
down on a desk with mis- cane. Tn
Clerk, likewise being modest man, tool
off his hat, also black, and laid it down
As soon as the business was complete,
! the real estate man gathered up his ha
and cane and started down to the bank
The hat did not fit his head well. III
turned it around, shook his head thi
, way, then that way. but it would no
settle down to the old bumps. His min
wandered off on a land trade and he di,
not examine his hat to find the cause o
its not fitting as usual
! As soon as the Clerk recovered from
the awe which real estate man Away
creates in his Office he put on his hat
but it came down over his ears like al
old fashioned fire extinguisher. III
snatched it from his head as though
was on fire, and gazing ON the insid
saw the name of his late visitor in boil,
letters. He rushed from the Court House
and as he was preparing to jump dow
the steps at one leap he was caught in tn
arms of a young but very desperate look
ing fellow.
Let me go-let me go, there is fel
low gone of with my hat. Let me go,
repeated the Clerk in loud and hurrie,
tones.
Il will never let you go until yo'
give me a marriage license" exclaime'
the young man very much excited.
You can get a marriage license a
any time. You can get a wife at an,
time. They are numerous and can b
secured without money and withou
price. but hats, sir, cost money and ar
of more consequence. Let me go, sir
let me co." pleaded the Clerk.
''Sir, l am desperate" cried the younl
man. my wife-no, she what is to b
my wife-is at the church. The parsol
is in waiting, the invited guests hav
assembled, the wedding march had beel
played when, OH. horror. / had dis
covered that l had forgotten the mar
riage license They are now playing tn
wedding march a second time in orde
to give me time to secure the marriag
license. Give it to me, l do beseech you
and let me fiy so can regain the churcl
before the last notes of the march ii
sway"
The situation was SO singular, the ar
gument so forcible, the young man 8
: earnest, that the Clerk returned to hi
Office and issued the permit to marry
The young man gave a hop, skip and
jump and was lost to view.
After the Clerk got his fee safely il
his pocket-book, he started again to re
cover his property. He grabbed the hat
"horror on horrors head accumulate
the young man had taken the real estat
mans hat and left his own. What
predicament' What a perplexing pre-