Richland beacon., 1887-12-31

talk Win nm. III IL S'Cu i" i'hi ="
talk to real live man after you've been
shut up for month with house fall
Of women, and of course he wanted to
chat with woman who had IDEAS.
Then Miss Simpson set her cap for
him. AMI she is the scrawnicst OLD maid
Icy'r set ewes on. told Mrs. Maloon
| pitird her because her back WIS crook
eli and she had to lave false teeth, and
oll ,hc reward I got for being benevo-
lent was that she told me Ill better take
.oInchody who wasn't half century
Younger the next time | wanted 10 nave
= Irritation. The nasty huzzy. But
thrn. one never docs get amy reward Tor
hcinc kind to such creatures.
V.
Jim Maloon is one Of the handsomest
fellows [ ever set my eyes on. Just
wish CYRUS could have seen the atten-
ton he paid ne, and then perhaps he
uiuht ha." cnt some idea what | sacri-
.i..cd when ! married him. 1t was
ally pitful to see the ilutter the Clarks
az Il Miss Simpson were i'll Just at the
news that Il" was coming, and when
tllt'N StN MItGi Il l'NNlN !iIs'ii Nv "'''' 'A''i
>;llv heads were really turned till they
didn't know which end they were on.
Mrs. Maiooa is a widow, and she says
h,r husband died of yellow fever at New
Orleans: hut if hc dill, Ia wager rilo
hat he went there to get out of the
reach of her tongue. OF all the she
..ra.,nm tcrmaglntS that cv drew the
breath of life, she is the worst; and iii
k - sc her old crooked nose put out
uf ipiu. by daughtcr-inlaw rs bad rs
her. cl;. Indeed, I'll like to have jim turn
Mormon anl marry twenty wives with
ti.r tclipc,s of rs many hyenas, and
bring them ali home to- live with his
mother. If WAS her daughtcr-in-law
,hrd soon get over sIpposilg she was
.,o:ng 20 ran this universe.
She is gaunt, angular old spit-fir
AMI she wears black silk decss that has
been dyed AID turned. So it is of no use
tu tell Inc she has money. jim may
have, bat don't believe she has cent
bat " he gives her. The story she
-i's #l,out supporting him out Of the
. re-. a'c may deceive some poor fools, but
tdant 20 dn%n with higail Tompkins.
a stands to reason that 4 cross old hog
/ :..r her isn't rs likely to have
money rs s.n rt, handsome young
F ..l.oE like jim: and nobody need tell
.ur il doesn't
/ jim always called her the old woman
I. m". lie WAS awfully funny in the
WAY he'd % on about her. He'd pre-
,,ni he was afraid of her, and make me
: L.. ,vn,tlI aohp
! lie us"d f. tell me how she
code him for taking me out rowing
mi going to walk on the beach in the
evening. and ut last if the old harridan
didn't open on me herself.
She came stalking along tho piazza
one morning, Just after breakfast, aud
knew by her looks that she meant mis-
chief. L was scared, / admit, hut | am
not the woman to he put down bya doz-
cn Mrs. Maloons, and l kept my face as
placid as ever.
"Good morning" said I.
"Good morning. said she, rs grim MS
tombstone. 81 wanted to speak to
you"
I'm fattered, I'm sure" said 1,
smiling, as innocent rs baby.
"Humph.." says cid Mother Maloon.
81 want to know what you mean by
Your silly carryings on with my son.
"When have been carrying on will
Your son or anybody else" l flung on
lit will be time enough for those who
have the right to ask what l mean; but
that won't he YOU"
you're old enough to be his mother,
said Mrs. Maloon.
"Then you're good deal too old"
answered her back, with my blood get
ting up.
"He's fool" his mother kept on
"but you needn't think he's such foo
that he cares for on any more than t
amusc himself ut the expense of you
vanity. / sent for him because he wa
in mischief somewhere else. Now Iv
got to send him away bccalse you don
know how to behave yourself"
You'd better pat him in bils AM
lock him UP in the Dursery once for all,
SAID 1. 81 don't wonder lie seems youi
enough to you to let you do it,"
: She looked at me rs if she'd like t
ca. me, and then she said with an uSl
: glitter in her hard oid eyes:
AT least / am young enough to wca
my own hair"
l How the old cat knew that my hai
= WIS not my own is beyond me. Ii
, sure the match is perfect, and do MAJ
t age to cover mp the edge of my toOpc
r so clcverly that only witch could hay
found it ont. And the worst of it va
Jim himself came round the corner an
4 heard what she said. shall always b'
lievc she knew he was there and said
p on purpose for him to hear.
2 "Jamcs," old Mrs. Maloon said. wit
L the air of dragoon, "your friend, Mr.
I Tompkins, is insulting your mothc
| Come and defend me-"
e "Your mother, Mr.. Maloon," said
t getting on to my feet, "seems to |
= pretty we'll able to defend herself.
r wish you Joy Of so amiable a relative. y
c And l took myself into the hous
n But tho old woman did send him ava
s and there has been no living in Il
It house since. l will not go homo ar
: give Cyrus chance to say didn't st,
ii my vacation ont, and l know Nix
+ Maloon would send for him to-moIro
n if | should go away, and SO I'm bound
t. stay Just to spite her. But l will say
le hate this detestala. hole, ald l new
le want to set eyes on F.aSeo'et again.
Home JoVrnal.
;, A Lovely Tim.