Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-04-11
BRIGHT BITS.

CHAIRMAN (of the boardJ-Thc Master Me-
chanic reports the Deep river bridge unsafe.
Directors without dissenting voice.
Give IT h new coat of paInt.-Aelo York Sun.
EMrLoYER-Young nan, you don't know
beans!
Emplove-Don't be incautious in your
statements, sir. 1 came mere from coffee
tactory.-Ntd0 Hd0sn NetOS.
DOMESTIC LIFE has no frer picture Of con-
hdlng love than that of IA husband wearing
smoking jacket OF his dear wlfe'S making and
trying to make believe that 1t fts him dl-
yinely,-FdU RtDer AdCaAcs.
A NEW YORK GIRL who chewed too much
gum lost the use OF her jaw. Married men
will find that they can carry home three or
four pounds Of gum in each overcoat pocket
IL they Wlsh.-S <l"erDtGls III uTndG.
A ST. PAUL wife was set up the other day
as a stake IN game of poker. And the man
who won her Consoled himself with the
thought that he never did have any luck ut
cards, anyway Y0nkstS Statesman.
SHE gazing upward How bright the stars
are Tonight Mr.. Sampson.
He promptly They are not brighter, Miss
Clara, than-than-
She lsoftyl-Than what, Mr. Sampson?
He-Than they were last night.-NeU York
Sun.
TEACHER-You must not come to school any
more, Tommy, until your mother has recOv-
Tommy-There amt a bit danger that she
Will give them to me.
"Why, how Is thar"
She is my stepmother." -TeSds Siftings.
MRS. SHoDDY-Really, Angelina. | cannot
see what you find Objectionable in Mr. Rocks.
he Is very rlcn, and perfect gentleman. He
has an inimltable air Of bon son.
Angeline-Oh, no, mamma, he has none of
that about him. If he had should like him
better. He never leaVes.--Llfe.
DE GARMO-What does your sister say
Berneyf b
Bertie-She said to-day. that she didn't
think you'd ever set the river on fire.
De Garmo--W nat confidence she has in me!
or course she knows I'm TOO honorable to do
anything of that kind .-Iad- BITS.
OMAHA IA a ". &c Easter is not far
Husband-Not far, that's a fact.
"And all good people should rejoice at
Easter.
"Of course" ~
$40 you suppose az human being can re-
joice in an old bonnet Iikes thisP"-- omaha
World.
NELLIE, whose grandfather began life as a
cabin boy and finishea as. a. millionaire, was
paid by her mother &c. sssdozsp for pins picked
up from the carpet, to keeN the baby from
getting them. Nurse" said Nellie. as her
STOCK of pennies increased, do5gOu know
what / am going9to do when have cents?"
NO" answeEed purse. # al
II am goingftO ibuysa paper OF pins and
scatter them over tie floor. and then pick
Jnem up feplieu Iue young HndnCler, who
was barely years old.-Babyhogd.
OMAHA GRoC EE--zyery sorry. m a am, but
can't give YOU ANY more crediJ.
CusIomer-Pd like 70 Know why.
a heard tod az J our husband was in Kan
sas real estate"
well. he is; up to his ears sometimes.
What of that ~
Pm afraid OF such booma as they have
down there"
'Booms! o. my husband isn't specula-
tor. He is a well digger"
BEG your pardon. Buy all you want
ma am ''-OHthI W.rEd.
Two passengers on the train became in
volved in a very heated controversy. which
| finally waXed SO hoE that one of them called
the other liar. whats that, a lar?' and
| he was on his feet.
yes. a liar" was the emphatic response.
''Or my name amt John Smith, of Smith
Ylle.''
what! the hardware merchant"
1.-THE same"
"Mr. Smith, Pm delighted to know you.
represent Messrs. Sharpedge Il Co.. OF New
YORK, and can show you a line of samples that
Will make your hair curl."-Neao York San.