The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1887-03-17
The PROPER MANNER.
A REASON Why AMERICAN WOMEN
DISLIKE DOMESTIC SERVICE.

A REASON Why AMERICAN WOMEN
DISLIKE DOMESTIC SERVICE.
A Sense Of Humiliation That Is Entirely
Unnecessary-For Every Omcial Posi-
tion There Is an Onicial Manner.
The Two Librarians.
/. In the very interesting letter written to
The New York Nation there is one reason
given t'why American women do not like
domestic service" on which should like
to make remark. No. 2 of the answers
to this question, obtained from the men,
bers of the Philadelphia Workingwomen's
guild, is as follows: 81 know an educated
woman-a lady-who tried it as a sort of
upper housemaid The work was easy
and the pay good, and she never had
harsh word, but they just seemed suncon-
.scious of her existence. She said the gen.
tlemen of the house, father and son, would
come in and stand before her to have her
take their umbrellas or help them off with
their coats, sometimes without speaking
to her or even looking at her. There was
something so humiliating about it that
she couldn't stand it, but went back to
slop shop sewing"
- 1t seems to me that this sense of hu-
initiation was entirely unnecesSary-that
it came from misunderstanding of the
case; and that this misunderstanding is
peculiarly frequent in women, and cannot
but seriously hamper them In the effort to
make, as men do, their own place in the
world. 1t does not matter how they are
trying to make it-whether as shop girls,
librarians, domestic servants, doctors or
dressnakers; the mistake is equally fatal
in every kind of work, and may be no.
ticed just as often in one as in another.
1t is simply this: Tho failure to recognize
that for every official position there is an
official manner. That is the very first
thing man learns when he enters on any
profession whatsoever; it is that which
preserves his dignity and independence,
enables him to become proficient in his
business and clears the ground for that
true friendship between him and his en-
ployer, which is founded on mutual re-
spect and gratitude. Take away this Of
fetal manner and you make life trouble
some and difficult for the employer indeed,
whether he be the shop girls customer,
the servants master or the doctors pa
tient; but you make it also a thousand
times more troublesome and difficult, nay,
dangerous and intolerable, for the en-
ployed. ........
.... -s- MADE A MISTAKE.
, 1 think the lady in question who tried
being upper housemaid-and for whom,
though think she made mistake, feel
nothing but a very real sympathy-might
easily have kept both her self-respect and
her good pay by making one slight effort
of imagination. Let her picture to her
self her position il the gentlemen Of the
house undertook to treat her, not rs an
official, but as one of their lady friends.
Would this make it less or more disagree
able to help them off with their coats?
Would it not seem a liberty in them to
ask such assistance from her? Moreover,
how would they have gained the right to
treat her as a friend2 Is friendship q
thing she will sell for "good payP'' These
men were strangers to her; she had made
O contract to do for them, in considera-
ton of a money equivalent for her trouble,
certain things which they disliked, or
were not able to do, for themselves; their
right was her work, just as her right was
their money; but neither had right to
the others friendship, for the simple rea-
son that friendship-besides being too
sacred, too full of danger as of blessing,
to be desirable with persons whose char
acter and disposition we have had no
chance to learn-is one of those things
which grow and are not made, and of
which artificial limitations are worse than
nothing. The official manner which was
expected of her, the apparent ignoring of
her presence, the silent acceptance of her
services, far from being humiliating, were
q proper respect to her, right protection,
and had this been removed, she, l am
sure, would quickly have felt and resented
her loss. .....
A GREAT CONTRAST.
] know two librarians; one the very
ideal of an official, chary of speech, digni-
fed prompt, active, immovably gracious,
distant and obliging, and thereby SO i'm
pressive that the whole town, whose SER
want she is, receives its books from her,
asks her for information and pays her its
fines with submissive and affectionate
gratitude. The other has no official man.
ner; she is just herself personally; and
you, if you ask her for q book are asking
favor of her. She cannot establish her
authority over the patrons of the library,
because, lawful as that authority really
is, she takes it, by her manner, COM
pletely off its proper basis, and makes it
a mere attempt on the part Of one free
citizen to command another, which human
nature will not stand.
Every doctor knows that his profess
sional manner is worth half his practice
to him; not because it gives him an air
of being wiser than he really is, but be-
cause it makes for his patients certain
assured ground to go upon; they know
what to expect; and without it the an
noyances of illness would be very much
increased. Equal advantages in the study
of medicine, equal talents and power even,
will not make women RS good doctors as
men are If they cannot learn this. may
be satisfied that a lady is q very Jenner,
aThompson, Warren, for skill and learn
ing, but till perceive that she has an
immovable professional manner l shall
not ask her professional advice. Nor can
1 imagine that the practice of that pro-
fession will be agreeable or eleyating to
herself. In the same way, for every de-
partment of life in which human beings
are brought into a relation with each other
which is not of nature, nor of affection,
there must be a conventional form estab-
lished which shall defend the personality
of each. This is the indispensable pre-
requisite of friendship; 1t Is only things
distinctly divided which can be brought
into union; there is no unity in an un.
divided mass.-"G. E. M" In Boston
Transcript.