River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-06-16
JUST FoR FuN.

THArwoULDMAKE THE SPHINX wIGGLE.
My dear fellow, she's queen,
said an enthusiastic traveller TO a friend.
always calm, serene, and dignifod.
No one can see her without becoming
completely eaptivated.
Remarkable, truly" was the cynical
reply How long have You known
her?''
"since last September
"Well. wait till summers over.
Maybe you'll catch a glimpse of her
some time when a bug has dropped
down the back of her neck "
WANTED MS TYPHOID STRAIGHT.
There is a milkman at Brixton who
has ready wit that a lawyer might
envy. One of his customers caught
him watering his milk Al horse-trough
the other day.
what" said the customer in a rage,
''isn'tit enough that your milk is full
Of typhoid without your going and
watering it?"
The milkman turned round, and,
smiling complacuntly, said to two or three
bystanders What can you do with
a man like this? He actually wants
his typhoid straight. - Philadelphia
Press.
LOVE 5 YOUNG DREAM.
Lovely girl Cat restauranD My
dear, order what you please for both. l
don'tfecl hungry bit.
Allianced Young Mani can't eat
mouthful, my darling.
Nor l. haven't eaten anything
hardly for weeks. BY the way what
was the rent of the house we were
looking at?'
Zone hundred dollars a month.
That's just your salary, so that won't
do.
mo. The other one alongside of it
is $50
Lets take that
But 500 won't buy coal and pay a
girls wages.
"A girl! Dear me, forgot all about
that We must get cheaper house,
because there must be enough over to
buy something for the girl to eat. You
know.
SISTER SAID.
Last Sunday night when young Rock
ct called, the little girl climbed on his
knee and began poking the visitor in
the ribs. ''What are you doing. Min
nie?" asked Rocket. ..Des pollin' you
to see if you's soft, - replied the artless
infant. SISTER. said YOU was soft's
a boiled squash Rocket didn't wait
to see sister, and vows he'll never
call there again.
ROBIN THE CORPsEs.
When the minister went from home
Dawson always went to see him safe off
by the train. About this time the Rail-
way Passenger Insurance Company had
started in, and a report was current
that the conductors of trains had an
with the company to .'go
through any one, killed or injured, and |
if they had one, destroy the insurance |
ticket. On one occasion the doctor was |
leaving, and just as the train began to |
move out of the depot Dawson came
rushing up. "Hae, Doctor Doctor hae |
We got an insurance ticket?" YES; |
what of it?' was the reply. !
.Weel, just recht yer name ont and |
gle it to me. By this time the train |
was fairly off, so Dawson put up his
hands. a Ia speaking trumpet. and |
shouted out after the minister: They |
We gotten 4 maist afae bad hawbit o |
Robin the corpses on this line A
pleasant send of truly.
10 MAKE BCLLHEADs BITE.
..What kind of fish are YOU catch
ing?" we asked small boy who was |
fishing in Coyell's Lake west of Sioux |
Falls.
..Bullheais," he replied.
&C 4 many?''
'Loads of 'em-an' there's mother.
Hi, Jimmy. see 'im-he's big 'uni'' /
and he pulled out fish about six inch |
es long.
Are bullheads pretty good to eat?
"You bet they are, mister-they re
fine,
did you ever try any speckled |
trout?n
Nav! Lakes full of EN-, but we
won't catch EN-. Hain't no time for
'em. tell you. mister" he continued,
as he strung the last catch on a will
low-limb, ''bullheads is GOOD eatin.'
s'pose trouts are all right enough ami
do when other fish are scarce. but there I
amt nothin like bullheads for stedt |
thing right along. Don't be scarf
now, mister, I'm goil' to hollar bull
heads bites better when you hollar a |
little. ~ Dakota BeU
simple Tests for wall Paper.