Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-02-17

am a very sensitive young man ana
should have kept hands off feminine Top
peries: but made the mistake common
to many young men OF imagining that
life was desert unless there was female
mixed in with the landscape, 30 / skir-
rnished in q lively manner among the OPP
posite sex until ! found seraph wjth
iuxuriant hair and melting eyes who was
willing TO sacrifice herself and her time
on the altar of my affections. Her name
or parertage are not essential to this
narrative, so / will be candid with the
ruader and say that when | write her
down as Mary Jane Jones ! am merely
selecting a combination Of letters from
the lunkshop of obscurity to brighten
and glurify them with the personality Of
as rare and radiant an angel as ever trod
tho sidewalks in the vicinity OF Jeief-
sou and Franklin avenues.
With tho insertion at this point in my5-
terry, of the further fact that Mary Jane
was rs perfect physically and as pure IN
spirit and resplendent in mind as any
Laura or Beatrice or Lesbia whom love
prom pied poet has immortalized in song,
am sure will be allowed to proceed
without giving the young lady's dimon-
sionsious, description Of her figure or
an attempted TRANSPORTATION IN cold
type of the heavenly colors of her hair
and eyes. TO the reader she must for
reasons best known 20 my
plain no, not plain but beauteous Mary
Jane Jones with no other literary ties
than these thirteen letters to bind her 10
posterity. When the time comes for me
TO immortalizo her, that will be done IN
another way AZ present ! shall contine
myself to describing the manner IN which
she camo near giving Quintius Flanagan
(which is mel permanent but underlined
place among immortals.
Az | said at the start, | am very seusi-
tive. II is better for man to be born
blind, or deaf and dumb, or To Issue from
his mothers womb moustrosity than TO
be endowed with set of exposed emo
tions that burn beneath glance, wrltho
under n smile, quiyer when lauBAage Is
applied, and withor if there Is Il susp PIC
ION of scoru or contempt in the surround
ing atmosphere. sentient collection
of nerves bristing MI over ones body
and accommodating torture from every
passing circumstance that runs counter
to them. Cranky, some people call Tins
feeling, but crankiness is only Quo OF
the mildest ingredients. II was no won
der then, that constituted physically rs
am, / nurtured deep and nnrelentirg
hatred for anything in Mary James man
ners OF mode OF dress that was calculated
20 call attention TO her. l"kicked'
about loud colors and gay ribbons, and
scarcely an evening visit passed without
a quiet and slyly induced homily by my
self upon the extrayagances and grotos
queries OF female dress. Mary Jane, !
must confess, that she tried hard to
please me. She made many sacrifices OF
hues and shades and patterns and styles
that she would like to have worn, and
she always said the dear little thing
that as she dressed only to please me
she would not deck her person with any.
thing to which might offer the slightest
objection.
But the demon which was to wreck OUT
happiness and blast our joys was in hid
ing, not far away, ana one day IT took
shape and rose before rs in NIL it's hide
BUSINESS the high hat.
"Neu won't wear it, will you, dear!
inquired appoaliugly, looking into hei
eyes as fortune teller looks into magic
mirror for a glimpse of the future.
cFt 1 WILL quinn rue biiNNN' w
most determipedly, adding iuabsolutt
defiance of my vested rights in her. 81
must and shalt So there now, pl't
don't say any more!
Us tins revot." asked in amaze
ment.
NO, its declaration of iudepend
ence," was her reply. 81 have submit GO
to every thing up 60 this, but | cannot
shall not and will not, resist the charms
of the high hat. It's too sweet and dear
and darling to be treated with indider
ence,'
"rheu, said / rising and crowding q
great deal of desperation into few
words. you must choose between me aut
the hat"
Il can't 90 back on the hat, Quinky,'
she answered,
'You prefer the Int to mos'
"For the present. yes
Then, fare thee, we'll
But didn't go l made feigned rush
toward the door, but she laughed 40 cru
ely and looked so well pleased with the
situation that ] Immediately grew ap
preheusive, and all kinds of Imagining
lowered in my daz1led brain. suspect
ed that probably another lover had crept
between us. and that the high hat might
be mere russo on her part TO get me ont
OF the way. Who was this sentimental
Gessler that hguiatiyely held aloft Mary
James high hat and expected to get me
into trouble by my refusal to bend the
knee TO ity paused 60 think but no sat
isfactory repose came ont of the depths
of my cogitaton.
resolved, though that l would not be
as big chump as William Tell was, so
then and there made up my mind to con
tribute the genufection that Mary James
Gessler demanded, and turned back FROM
the door and told the sweet creature that
would try 20 swallow the hat if she
would only be kind enough to forgive the
few rash and impetuous words | had
snoken. She forEave me with a prompt
ness that made me regret the victory she
had achieved.
Il don't mind the hat so much, dar-
ling, ] said in explanation ct my oHgo-
sition to it. "because | know it will look
vol ,nott ,rou hint fhprs hos haen 50