The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-05-28
ESSAY ON LIGHTNING,
A Dissertation in Which AIlusions to Sci-
ence Are Carefully Avoided.


be one of the most difficult things to
write on, from the fact that it won't
hold still long enough.
1t belongs to the genus Eli, since it is
so very likely to get there, or come near
1t. When it starts to 90 anywhere it
does not pause along the road anywhere
to play marbles or take nap in the
fence corner, and, if it gets loose and
ever so small start of you, it is almost
useless for you to start after it to catch
it, Quick is word of too many letters
for it, and space and time are not in its
bright lexicon. We see the flash be-
fore we hear the thunder, though it is
the latter that makes us jump. If the
lightning ever hits you squarely it is
hardly worth your while to wait to hear
the thunder. Lightning generally
comes in bolt, but just how many
yards there are in bolt has never been
accurately measured, and it is one of
the greatest things to bolt in the known
world, but it can not be bolted down.
You observe those red streaks issuing
from yonder cloud. Well, if you would
lay your hand on one of them and try
to feel how slick it was, you would find
that it would be too hot to mention
leisurely.
Some people are not afraid of light
ming, but we always step aside and let
it pass, without ever trying to hinder
it That is the best way. 1t is said
that it never strikes a man twice in the
same place, but we don't see how it
should have any need to. You should
never get struck by lightning, but if
you should be, never strike back Some
men who are struck never say any
thing about it, and never growl and
cave around mad.
DR.. Franklin was the first man who
put salt on its tail and got it into bot
tie and securely corked it, though now
adays it is the fellow outside of the
bottle who gets corlled. Prof. Morse
taught it to walk on the slack wire and
do various tricks; but there is q great
deal of lightning lying around loose
yet. Lightning goes for conductors,
but we never hear of any street car
conductors getting struck by it.
Scientists say that lightning is cleo
tricity, and that electricity is lightning,
which is about as close to it as they can
come without getting hurt. 1t is hard
for them to boil it down and precipitate
it to find out the ingredients, because it
is too apt to precipitate itself. You can
not handle it without gloves, and if it
was to slip down into your pocket you
would find it necessary to throw it out
as quick as possible, for it will eat a
hole in the pocket. 1t will not be long
before it will be used in our coast de-
Tense to knock vessels into the water, as
dynamite is now used to knock them
out of water
Lightning is certainly one of the most
striking of the heavenly elements; little
flashy, It's true, but how sublime and an
inspiring! Watch that bolt issuing
from the dark bosom of that cloud; get
up on the fence so you can get an I'M
INSTRUCTED view of it. Don't take your
eyes off of it. Observe those beautiful
zig-zags; how sharp are they at the
angles! Take my spectacles. All, let
me first wipe the glasses. Keep your
eyes on the bolt. See how it gets
nearer and nearer to the earth. Isn't
it like a fiery vein? Try this spy glass
on it; first get it to focus. Not there.
Over to your left more. 1t is going to
light on some tree, no doubt. All, there
it has settled on the village steeple 1t
is going to stay there on the vane. No,
see, it has begun to slide down the spire
and the shingles, etc, get loose and
follow after it, but it will soon root its
way into the earth and the sexton will
put a brick on the hole and keep it in.
When it lightens you should close the
windows and doors: if you have your
head out the window jawing at your
neighbor, step back and put the window
down, even if he gets to have the last
word. Send each of the family to Il
different room; it is unlikely that every
room in the house will be struck, so
some of you will be saved. Don't hang
around the kitchen stove where the
hired girl is cooking, as lightning might
come down the chimney and hit you, or
your wife come in the door, with the
same effect. Umbrellas attract light
ming. so never ask another man to
allow you to walk under his in storm.
If you are under tree and you notice
the lightning climbing down it, you
had better run. If it takes after you,
then go it lively. Observe the distance
it is from you and regulate your speed
accordingly. If you have any metal
about you throw it away-money OF
anything else. Dodge around the trees
with celebrity. If it turns to head you
off shift your course without delay.
Anyway don't let it get any nearer to
you, and the result will be that it will
get kind of tired out and disguised and
run into the ground. You can then sit
down on log and fan yourself with
your hat. Observe these rules, and if
you ever get hit you can charge it to me
and collect it'd. W. BelldW, in De-
| tr0it Free Press.
Exempt From Execution,