The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1887-05-12
WORKING THE coUau RACKET.

WORKING THE COUGH RACKET.
How tho Fashionable Minister q ets n short
Sea Trip aud rcrrapin on Toast.
Philip d. HtIeh IN Puet. R lggyFi' NJ
The Rev. DR.. Hautton before service,
to sexton)-Joncs, slant the second win.
dow to the left behind tho pulpit; It
throws pleasant light on the reading
desk.
Jones-Very well, sir.
The Rev. Dr.. II. (Holos) The green hue
alao enhancest the pallor Of my face. ~;
The Rev. DR.. Ii. cater service)-Good
morning, my dear Mr.. Croesus! What a
charming, day has bosn graciouply youch.
sated to US! %Ia af
Mr.. Croesus-.u.m--yes-hne season Of
tho yearl 'l,944& g,si Z.
The Rev. DR.. II. (couGhing)-I noticed
Mrs. Croesua abscnce from church thia
morning. hope the dear lady Is not Ill.
MIR. CroesuH-No, no-uBed M little !:
she's been on that kirmesa all the week,
you know, and It's (excuse me) boon a
dsyviliah hard job.
The Rev. DR.. H.-Mrs. CrGsus 70 apt 10
20 beyond her strength, fenr-her on.
thusiasm 10 30 great. 'H.. !.
Mr.. CiDsus--lt was pure spunk this
time; she made up her mind to lay the
Bullion faction out cold, and she did 1t In
great style. E5ll va y
Tho Rev. DR.. e. (coughing)-I noticed
a pleasant rivalry.
MIR. CIUsus-lt was war to the knife. I
told Julia to go In and win, and I'd back
her any amount-Gnd We got there
[Chuckling. -5a.E1i
The Rev. DR.. 1.-The whole affair was
very successful.
Mr.. CImsus-successlul I should think
30! Why, tho Bullion booth couldn't hold
A candle to oura! l paid 500 for the floral
decorations alone. vs.
The Rev. Dr.. II. Coughing violently
Your generous nature, Mr.. CrUsus. 10 a
noble endowment.
Mr.. Cr@sus-Ain't You barking moron
usual, doctor?
The Rev. DR.. H.-A triile only--my old
bronchial trouble.
Mr.. ClU3us--Better take o run down
the coast. You amt been away since you
got homo from Europe in November-and
tho summer vacation Is two months of
yet. .E.y..
The Rev. DR.. HI presume my unre.
hitting labors have somewhat aggravated
my trouble, but
Mr.. Ctnsus (chuckling)-Wesk lot,
these ministers-haye to look after 'em
all the time. I'll speak to the vestry.
The Rev. Dr.. II. (smiliug, too)-What a
vein OF humor you have!
The Rev. DR.. H.-Good morning, my
dear Mrs. Bullion; in your place, as al
ways. 4,
Mrs. Bullion-Yes; I can come to church
Sunday, II l have worked al tho week
some people can't. 49,.
The Rev. Dr.. H.--A little relaxation
would have been pardoned to-day, dear
Mrs. Bullion-your zsal during the lssi
week has been SO great.
Mrs. Bullion-I did work hard, and il
Was oil the more CALLING to have my efforts
80 belittled, as they were in one direction
The Rev. Dr.. II. (coughing)-Oh, think
not. Everybody spoke OF your lovely
booth.
Mrs. Bullion (softsning little}-Is that
30? | am really gratitied. The CIesuses
party eeemed to thing there was nothing
worth looking at but theirs. What cold
you have, DR.. Hsutton | told Mr.. Bul.
lion there wGs something more than mere
money outlay to be looked for in the ar-
rapgement of the booth, and I am so glad
You recognized it. e
The Rev. DR.. Fl, (coughing)-1 did, in.
deed Mrs. Hautton, too, commented on
the lovely combination OF color.
Mrs. Bullion-Did she? She has 80
much taste! But you must take care OF
your cough-a little change would break
it up the quickest.
The Few. DR.. H.-Yes; I am thinking
Of short aea trip-a run down the coast,
perhapB.
Mrs. Bullion-The very thing! I'll
have Mr.. Bullion SEQ that you get OF very
Hoon.
The Ror. Dr. H.-You are so very gym
pathetic, dear Mrs. Bullion.
w
2Mra. Backpew-Good morning, Dr. Haut-
ton!
The Rev. DR.. H.-O-ah-good NOM
ing, good morning! G
Mrs Backpew-I enjoyed the service SO
much this morning; is's the first time in
seven weeks I've been at church.
The Rev. DR.. H.-H'm-a long time to
be away from ones place in the Lords
house. sIi. ,
Mira. Backpsw--But you know my chill
dreu have all been i'll with the ecarlst
fever. f5z.-,ar ia
The Rev. DR.. H.--Ah-true-that al!ers
the case nomeyhat, still
Mrs. Backpew-l was so afraid you or
Mrs. Hautton might call. l cent q mes
sage to the rectory begging you not TO do
go; tho infection is 90 great, you know.
Ths Rev. DR.. H.-H'm-yes, very
thoughtfal, I'm cure. presume the mes
sage was received, as We did not call--did
We? 1T
MIS-. Backpew-O, no! Now, however,
all danger is over, and.
The Rsv. DR., H.-O, excuse me, If you
please; muet speak>to Mrs. Veuveriches
moment.
The Rev. Or. H.-Gool morning, nv
dear Mrs. Veuvcriche! Allow me to SEQ
you to YOUR carriage! [Coughip9.
Mr.. Veuveliche-0, Dr. Hauston, I want
to sec you! am positively alarmed about
you! Your ps!lor in the pulpit this
morning was gha0tly. You must have
change!
Tbs Rov. Dr.. H.-0, it ia nothing, my
dear madam, nothing!,,
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures it's great
deal. Como around with Mira. Hautton,
and take supper with mo after service to.
night. Bertrand shall make you dish Of
your fayorite terrapin, and we'll aee what
can bs done tos you!
The Rev. DR.. H.-What great, noble
heart you have. ~
.T. Craze In New Form.
Boston Courier.
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