davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
Triumph of Whisky.

care your parents living?' an Ar
kansaw school teacher asked of boy
"Mur is, but pap amt"
That's bad"
whats bad ? That mur's livin' OF
that pap's dead p
"It's bad that your father is dead. y
"Yas, the man that had a mortgage
on the chap said So"
"What was tho matter with your
father ?"
"He couldn't stand prosperity"
"Why, how did prosperity kill himf'
"Wall, ole Bill Simmons give pap
a whole jug o whisky an it was more
than he could stan. He done his best,
but she downed him."--Arkansaw
Traveller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Two young men who were taking a
long tramp through the woods and
fields of the suburbs came upon a
swarm of bees that had become numb
ed with the cold. Thinking it rare
curiosity they picked it up, covered it
with handkerchief, and started back
to the city with it. Night had fallen
when they were passing through
village and noticed house all ablaze
with lights. One of them was ac-
quainted in the place, and at his sug.
gestion both went in to rest and Join,
if may be, in the festivities. They
found that there had been wedding
and the marriage ball was in progress.
They were made welcome heartily,
and after excusing their toilet placed
their parcel of frozen bees in a cor
ner and proceeded to enjoy them
selves. In the course of the even
ing they found their way to the
billiard room, where they engaged
their host in a game. The ball con-
tinued merrily until an interruption
was made by an agonized scream from
one of the young lady guests. Every
body looked up in astonishment to see
the fair dancer shudder, blush and
run wildly from the room. Before
the other guests had had time to grasp
the fact Of the emotion, to say moth
ing of its cause, another young lady
gasped, uttered a more piercing
scream and vanished in the same ex-
traordinary manner. And then to
confound confusion a half dozen
young ladies whooped for dear life
and incontinually fed. The dance
was abandoned by all in consterna-
tion and the gallant but astounded
partners of the strangely afflicted
danes sought to head the latter off
and demand of them an explanation.
The ladies simply put their kerchiefs
to their lips, repressed shudder, shed
tear or two and tore themselves
away. More of the ladies followed
from sympathy, if not from personal
anguish, and the men were left star
ing at each other. Their mystifcation
was not of long endurance, for the
bridegroom, feeling sudden sharp
pain, clapped his hand to his cheek
and killed bee that had stung him.
A hasty glance about the room show
ed good many more bees crawling
with more or less activity over the
furniture. The curious package
brought in by the young men from Par
is had yielded to the warmth of the
house and given the bees the impress
sion that spring had come. Displeas-
ed at the presence and hustle of SO
many people they had inflicted the
token of their displeasure upon the
young ladies in way that was both
distressing and somewhat notifying.
The venerable grandmothers in the
party were called upon to bathe the
stings with arnica, and though the gal
liant partners laughed at the mishap
the ball came to an untimely end
Detroit Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

1t is stated that powder company
in New York has stopped business,
but it is nothing to hear of powder
mill "going up."-Boston CONNER
cial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

A man begins to understand what
a winter carnival is like when his
wife reminds him that the coal bin is
empty and that she wants new fur
lined toboggan suit.-Fall River Ad-
vance.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Some men seem to be fond of hug
ging delusions, and it may be that
they got in the habit because the
girls are such delusive creatures
Journal of Education.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

An agricultural journal says that
this is going to be an extraordinary
fruit year. We notice that the crop
of Congressional "pairs" is already
very large.-Norristown Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Mrs. Clashed.-"My rubber is
coming off, Edward, and"
Mr.. Clashed.-(thinking of some
thing else) eff it's any evening this
week you can't count on me. I'm
booked for poker every night this
week. It'd Bits.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Il have such an indulgent hus-
bandw said little Mrs. Doll. eyes,
so George says" responded Mrs.
Spitefull, quietly, sometimes he IN
dulges too much, doesn't hep They
no longer speak to each other.-Free
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

PATHS manager knew his business,
judging from the vast audience last
evening, when he named it the fare
we'll tour.-Omaha Bee.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

"Some idiot has put my pen where
l can't find it" growled Asperity this
morning as he rooted about his Office
desk. Ah, aw, yes; thought SO,
he added in milder tone, as he haul
ed the writing utensil from out be-
hind his ear.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
WIT AND HUMOR.

Messrs. Fish and Pike are appro-
priately named members of the Cali
fornia Fish Commission Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

"What is an affair du ceur, papa p
said the small boy who had been en-
deavoring to read the daily papers.
THAT must be a new name for dog
fight" said the old gentleman as he
reached for the paper.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

can old settler gone," read DR..
Bolus in the obituary column of the
local paper, and then he added
thoughtfully: "Well, Bjenks may
have been an old settler in one sense,
but he always managed to forget to
settle with me. e."-Somerville Journal.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Bob.-"I wish / was one of those
cherubim with wings"
Mamma.-"So that you could fly
around heaven p"
Bob.-"Not much. So that l could
fly up to that top shelf and hook the
cake. Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

The Anarchists have got hold of
another argument against Republican
institutions. 1t is that Congress last
year used 138, $50 towels. How, in.
deed, can the country prosper when
its rulers waste the public money in
washing themselves New York
Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Duncan A. Cameron, NJ. ID. G. M.
Graduate McGin University, Montreal, late house
surgeon Montreal General Hospital. Assistant
surgeon Alpena Hospital. Office with DIR. Wilkin-
son, Second street. 1856
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

A little fresh air child" who had
never seen a COW before, was watching
the milking process with eyes full Of
astonishment. After looking on in
silence for some time she drew near
and, placing her hand on the cows
distended side, exclaimed: "Why
she's chock full of it, amt she ?"-
Philadelphia Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
VIM. p. MAIDEN, M. ID.

Physician, Surgeon, Gynecologist, ETC.,
Late Asst. Surgeon u. 8. ARMY Examining sur
9eon for u s. Pensioners and all the principal llie
Insurance Co.'s. Residence and once on oeconu
St nearly opposite the Union House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
Detroit, Bay City & Alpena R.R'
Time Table No. 8.

All trains run by the Ninetieth Meridian on Cen
trail Standard time.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

Fhiladelphla lines.
"Here's an item about Kentucky
editor dying from drinking too much
whisky" observed the Judge.
dying from whatf' asked the
Major. .
From drinking whisky"
"Then it wasn't u Kentucky cd
itor, Pittsburgh Chronicle Telc-
gram.
Client.-"Now, Mr.. H., isn't your
fee rather large7"
lawyer am sorry you think
so, Mr.. B., but you must remember
| had great deal to do. ] spent a
great deal of time preparing my
charge for the jury"
Client.-"Great Scott Do 1 pay
the jury"?-Boston Budget.
1t is always pleasant to hear of a
man who is not only ready to give to
the needy. but to give them just what
they ask for. When the Salvation
Army halted in front Of saloon at
East Portland, Oregon, and began
singing: ut is water we want, not
beer" the saloon keeper, genial
and obliging soul, turned his hose on
them.-Boston Transcript.
Black.-"Who was that man with
whom / saw you talking yesterday ?"
Gray.-"Oh, that was DR.. H,
a brave man."
Black.-"Brave2 In what way2'
Gray.-"Why, sir. that man Is a
hero, and has led many a forlorn
hope"
Black.-"How is that I"
Gray.-"He has often charged a
battery."-Boston Budget.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
F. S. DEWEY.

For everything TO use or eat,
Rice, Coffee, Nutmcgs Tea and Meat,
Allspioe and Candy, Starch and soap,
New Prunes and Currants Seeds and Rope,
Knives, Forks and Spoons, Gunpowder. Hams
Lines, Fish-hooks, Cartridges and CLANS,
Ink, Paper, Pens. Lead-pencils, States,
Nappies aud Pitchers, Soups and Plates.
shotguns and Musksts, Rides ans,
Don't f@l to and the Big Deer sisn.
East, South and West their treasures bring,
Where all who buy rejoice and sing.
Each one who comes brings many more,
You'll find the throng at
DEWEY'S Store.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16

TRAINS GOING SOUTH. TRAINS GOING NORTH
Mail and Express. Mail ana Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-03-16
Advertising Rates.

one two Ithr'eIfou lthr'e six one
w'k. w'ks. w'ks w'ks mos mes Iyear.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21

!" F. ATTKISSON, Real Estate Broke
w and Notary Public, Sc Mark ct st.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
AMENDMENT CONVENTION.
Marshall County Holds The First
One.

The first Prohibition Amendment
Convention of Marshall County,
met in the Methodist Church at
Cameron on the 10th inst, and was
organized by the W. G. T. q. off.
GERS OF the county. Notices had
previously been sent to the various
district Amendment Leagues of the
county to send delegates. Quite a
uumber, although not all did so.
The meeting was called to order at
1890 a. No., by Rev. Lynch, who
opened the meeting by reading the
Scriptures and prayer. Mrs.
Thatcher acted as Chairman of the
meeting and Rev. Roberts as Secre-
tary. Reports from various Leag-
ues throughout the county were
then heard. Wne or two very en-.
joyable essays and Rotations,
germane to the subject under con-
sideration by the meeting, were
then given. The essay OF Miss
Elva Alexander of the Dallas
League being especially excellent.
Messrs T. J. Parsons and X. Bonar
then spoke somewhat at length on
the necessity Of a thorough organ
ization of the work. A large meet.
ing of the citizens of Cameron and
vicinity were addressed by the
Hon. G. w. Atkinson at night, and
League Of one hundred and six
members organized Moundsvilh
Sickle.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
Amendment Work at ROwlesbarg
Mrs. Nc Clurkim &irs the People.
EDITOR FREEMAN:

EDIToR FREEMAN:
Mrs. Jennie McClurkin, the rep
resen tative of the w. G. T. U. spoke
In the M. E. Church Of our place
yesterday morning and evening.
A good audience came out in the
morning Notwithstanding the in
clement weather and i'm the even
ing full house was present, and
the best order throughout, ever
witressed Profound attention was
givec the addresses were excellent
both morning and evening. The
speaker is at home upon her sub
ject, iauent and even eloquent.
She discussed very ably, the ques-
ton of Prohibition and the Amend
ment as being the demand of the
times. She used the word "Prohl-
bition" because it expressed more
than the word Temperance" The
saloon men claim to be for temper
ance and rs she was not advocating
that kind Of temperance, she prefer
ed to use word that they did not
claim, but one that defined her
idea o. temperance, "Prohibition."
I was to day forcibly reminded
of one of her ideas expressed yes
terday. She said what was needed,
was to agitate, agitate, agsgate. /
walked into store this morning
and found quite crowd discuss,
ing the questions of Prohibition
and the Amendment. Each SEEM
ed ready at defining his views for
and against. 1 at once thought of
her expression upon the question
of agitation. One Republican said
to me, II am a temperance man
hut | will never vote FOR sthe
Amendment because it is gotten up
for the purpose of busting the Re-
publican party all to thunder"
Another, Democrat this time,
said it was scheme gotten up ex-
pressly for the purpose of busting
up the Democratic party" And 30
they have it. The speaker will re-
turn to our town and give US an
other talk on Tuesday evening of
this week and organize W. c. T.U.
We hope this is not the last time
we shall be visited by able speak
ers, for we enjoy hearing them and
will do what we can to help the
work forward.
Our people gladly gave the use
of their church for the discussion i
of the Amendment, even upon the
the SABBATH day, and felt they were
doing Gods service.
Yours for the Amendment,
J. P.S.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
Wheeling Business Houses.

" H. H. HoLsWADE, Furniture. Ca1.
wv pets, Undertaking, Huntington, W
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
PARkERRSBUG DIRECTORY
Business and Professional.

PRANCH & TIMMS, 95 West Market St
ID General Fire and Life Insurance Agts.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
Between Cincinnati and ST. louis

Solid Trains. New Sleeping Cars and First-cla.
c. R'y big Four and l. & ST. L. R'y bee I;r.s
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
w. c.. 7. u,
Portraits.

" MAGAZINE
Miss
resident Of National This followed
wihbe and
DEMoRESTS
FASHION
thewhoe
be
furnish Of
per them
W. DEMOREST Publisher Is East 18th st New York
prohbiu 49, ~ 'N"S"'
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
The Daily Zntelzigencer

Terms by Mall. Postage Prepaid.
One month-.......$ IS Six months.......3 90
Three months......2 90 One year.............. 90
Specimen copies of either edition of the
Intelligencer sent free ana postage paid to
any address.
We want an Agent at every Postoffice in
West Virginia, Eastern Ohio and Western
Pennsylvania.
Remittances should be made by registered
letter, postoffice money order, postal note
or check.
Publishers Intelligencer,
Wheeling, w. Va.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
WEEKLY MTELL|GENCER

Is the Home Paper of West Virginia
1t has all the home news. 1t has all the
news of the United State. 1t has all the
news of the world that anybody wants to
read. 1t has all the Market reports. 1t has
the best Agricultural 10 after. 1t has humor
enough to keep the family In good sp1r1ts.
1t has wholesome stories. 1t has hrm De-
lief in protection ITO every Amerleon lndus
try and gives the reasons for Its belief. IL
believes that West Virginia has better days
before her, and is helping on the good time.
1t is going to beat its best record In the Pres
identdal Year.
TERMS AND PREMIUMS.
The Weekly Intelligencer, single copy, ., ~
The Weekly Intelligencer, single copy, %
copies, year, and extra copy Of the
Weekly year or Daily N months n.
10 copies, year, with an extra copy Of
the Weekly year and Daily ~ M
mOntnS Tree .'lo w
20 copies, year, with an extra copy of
the Weekly 1 year and Daily o. M
o. oaas Yar with an axfra conv Of w
the Weekly and copy Of the Dali ~
ly year free.--.........."..........~~-. w
The Premium copies will be sent TO any
address desired. 1t Is equivalent to a cash
comm ission, as they can readily be sold and
the money retained by the getter up OF the
Club. 1T is not necessary for all the names
in the CaGlb to come from one office, nor is
it necessary to send all the subscribers at
one time. Subscription may be sent as
fast as received, one or more at time, and
a record of them will be kept at this office.
The Premium copies will be sent at the re.
quest of the agent as soon as he has sent
Sufficient subscribers to entitle him to Them
TERMS OF THE SEMI WEEKLY:
One CODY months 25
One COPY, year ............................2 so
Two copies, year.. 5O
Five copies, 90
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21
Holiday Goods at Spence's.

mean business. Come and see
for yourself. I don't want large
profits, but want and intend to sell
off large stock of fine goods just
the things for Holiday presents.
You can get things that will be
appreciated for a gift for lees
money at Spence's than any place.
Come and see.
G. l.. SPENCE.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21

REAHTTrN Shropshire, Ok. Cots. SHEEP
D4nU lnp Jersey Red Berkshire HOGS.
IlIu iI Eggs q CARP in seasons. Eno;ne..
N, N ms, d, Frs, &C; best and cheapest part
all. Send stamp for circulars to vi
T.R. cARskADoN, kEYsER, w. VA
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21

Fresh stock all kinds of Pictures
at Spence's Music and Art Store.
The freeman. (Parkersburg, W. Va.) 1886-18??, 1887-12-21

WILLIAM II. DYE, Attorney at Law anC
" Notary Public. Parkersburg W. Va.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13
Americas Gretna Green.

Nearly every State in the Union has
its Gretna Green, but few has one that
SO thoroughly deserves the name as
Camden, N. j. The clergymen of that
town who do SO much marrying age
j. Y. Dobbins, Methodist; Rev. j. j.
Sleeper, Episcopal; Rev. j. j. Heisler,
Methodist, and Rev. Isaac w. Bagley,
Baptist. Mr.. Dobbins averages 140
couples month, and, as his average
fee is 81 couple, he makes about
1920 year. Mr.. Sleeper unites
about go couples month, receiving
about the same average fee; but as he
has had diagram Autographed show
ing the most direct route from the fer
,ries to his house he will probably soon
be doing land-office business. Alto
gether, the clergy of Camden must
make fully $25, 600 year out of the
marriage business Chicago Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13
TOOLS OF THE ANCiENTS.
Hardened Copper Employed in the Max
ing of ChiseIs and Axes.

Steel was unknown to the ancients,
and copper was largely employed for
the purposes which steel is now made
to serve, the art of hardening copper
being known to the mechanics of those
days. Edge tools such as chisels and
axes were made of this metal, and
were used, it is said, in the building of
Solomon's temple. 1t is supposed that
the early inhabitants of America also
had the secret of hardening copper, as
copper tools have been found in con-
siderable number in the ruined struc-
lures of Mexico and Peru, and even the
North American Indians appear to
have possessed the art to a limited ex-
tent. A chisel found at Thebes con-
tanned "a per cent. copper, SO
per cent. tin and 1 per cent.
iron; and in the Scandina-
Wan tumuli in Denmark, not only
chisels. hammers and axes, but knives
and daggers of copper have been
turned up. After having lain dormant
for many centuries, the art of harden
ing copper has now, so to speak, been
rediscovered by a citizen OF New
Jersey, who has succeeded after sew
eral years of experiment in applying
process to copper which will give it
hardness nearly equal to that of steel.
The cost is not great, and the metal is
fitted for many uses for which it has
not hitherto been available. 1t will
stand much longer exposure in the
electric bath than the unhardened
metal. and it is thought that it will
prove substitute for the metal now
used for bearings in journal boxes.
-Mech0nic0I NeaUs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13
Understood English.

A lady tells the following snake story:
Going through the reptile department
of the Jardin DIES Plantes with party
escorted by a distinguished French
savant, they stopped before the cage of
a large rattlesnake. The snake lay
motionless, apparently asleep. Delay
ing behind their party, Mrs, Clark and
a friend began to speak in English. To
their surprise the snake moved, lifted
it's head and gave every sign of interest
in their conversation. When they re-
joined their party they remarked that
the snake understood English. The
whole party then returned to the cage.
The snake was apparently asleep AGAIN.
They conversed in French, but the snake
made no movement; then the ladies
began to speak in English. The snake
started, lifted it's head, and showed the
same alertness as before at the sounds.
The rattlesnake proved, on inquiry, to
have come from Virginia. Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13
Tom Corwin had an enormou

Tom Corwin had an enormous
mouth, which, when it opened, was as
huge in its way as an alligator's. He
once said he had been insulted by Dea-
con Smith. The good. brother asked
for further explanation. "Wen," said
Corwin, "when I stood up at the
lecture room to relate my experience,
and I opened my moEsh, Deacon Smith
rose up in front and said: will some
brother please close that window and
keep it closed?"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13

An aged citizen of Camden, Me-,
tells of the time when salmon was so
plentiful and was so little esteemed
that an apprentice to any trade had to
sign articles binding him to eat salmon
twice week, and Thought 1T a most
disagreeable part of the contract
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13
VI D KEY Els ( CO.
DEALERS N
HARD ! SOFT WOOD,
Pine Stats, Oak Slabs,
K INDIlING WOOD, Etc.
Paul r. K.
Wood delivered 10 any part of the city free Of
charge.

The surprising fact is noUed that
while the Wesleyan Church in Great
Britain had but 1870 ministers, it had
"a, $40 lay class-leaders and 1900 ac-
credited local preachers last year, so
that the greatest part of its pastoral
and preaching work is done by laymen.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-07-13

"A young lady killed by lightning
at Blue Springs, Neb., recently, was
sitting on spring lounge with her
lover. The lover escaped uninjured.