The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-04
BRIGHT BITS.

THE average boarding house is having fly
time of it just now.-Dugeth Photographer.
THERn are lots of men in this world who are
born to rule, but the other fellows are such a
pack of ignoramllse5 that they can't be made
to realize it.-Nerchdnt IrGUeter.
''SAcRED to his memory" said Fogg, reading
the legend on the tombstone of his friend Hawk
ins. Why, Hawkins never had any memory. He
never could remember anything for five minutes
in all his life '-Boston T'dnscrpt.
ABSENT MINDED Business Man to Office Boy
Tommy 20 up to my house and tell my wife l
have again forgotten my watch Bring it back
with you.
iie pulls ont his watch and continues:
''Now, Tommy, il is o'clock; be back at TO-"
The Epoch
De ToNpKYNs hear old boy, that you're to
be married.
De Baggs-Oh, no; that's mistake.
Honor bright, now"
"Why, of course my dear fellow I'll prove
it to You. | wear no buttons but patent ones q"
-PtttS61uU Dispatch.
CHILD was recently watching a young lady
in Holliston busily talking into a telephone
transmitter. Suddenly the child said. who
are you talking togn The lady answered, I'm
talking to man The child replied, We'll,
he must he au awful little man to live in such q
| small house as that.-BostOn Globe.
CommIssIoNER-On whet ground do you claim
a pension? We're you in the army?
Applicant-O, no; the war was all over before
was born. But I've had my mind all lacerated
and torn up and confused like readin' the maya
zine articles
Commissioner All right; see; I'll give you a
pass TO the insane asylum .-BtUdette.
PITTsBURGER-Docto am convinced that
am suffering from the most pronounced form of
insomnia.
NJ. D.-What are your symptoms?
| Pittsburgh On Sunday last l remained
| awake during the entire services, though the
| sermon was one hour long and the thermometer
in the vcStibuie stood at 92-Pittsb1trg Bulletin.
| OMAHA WIFELYou are the meanest, ugllest
| thing in existence. just hate you.
Husband-What have done now!
| Done. What have You not done? This morn
| lug when | discovered that Colorado beetle
| crawling on my dress and called to you for help
| you didn't stir, but let me sit there writing i'll
| terror until had to shrek"
| Il didn't hear you call What else?"
This afternoon when that ieweler showed us
live Brazilian beetle beautifully set in breast
| PIN, you refused to buy it for me. Omaha
| World
MY sister recently crossed the Atlantic with
herthree children aged respectively 8, 51 and 8,
| and the eldest Two were soon like their parent,
afflicted with seasfckneSS, and sought the seclu-
| aged 8. lay tossing and restless, and groaned
| out "Oh, why do | suffer SO, why do
| | suffer sou WhereupOn Nellie, the 5N-
! ycar.old, who had evidently remembered the
| words if not the meaning of what she had
| learned in Sunday school, learned over the edge
| of the bunk and said commiseratiugly: Willie,
| don't you know what the good book says?
| Suffer little children and are all the little
| children" | hope the explanation made Willie
| feel bctter-My little 4-year-old, who is very
| fond of running 'barefoOty," and who bears
heroicaly the pain of splinters rather than bear
| the penalty OF boots and shoes, announced the
| other day that the reason angels wear wings is
so as not to get splinters in their eet."-Htgh
| Char IheoLOlU in BdbyhOod.