Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-11
MOURNFUL.

'tIt's all very well," said the gravedigger, Ito advise young man to begin at the bot tom and work up, but in ay business it ain't practicable"
 An esteemed contemporary excitedly de- mands to know flor whom was the earth madet" We think that question will have to be decided by arbitration. There are great many claimants.-Lowe1l Citizen.
 Father" said Rollo, "what is meant by the into1ication of wealtha" 'sMsans that money is tight" replied Rollo's father, who had been shining around all the afternoon with piece of paper looking for an auto- graph.
 The king prize-Mrs. DeHobson-"W a lovely prayer book, Mrs. Hendricks. Is it 8 present from your husband?' Mrs. Hend- ricks-"No; I won it at the progressive euchre party at Deacon Smiths last week" Puck.
 ttI've got the most moneyl" he shouted across the street, as he held up nickel. ''I don't keer fur that My father has been rested" 'sSo's mine' ssBut they took mine down in the patrol wagon and yours had to walk. ."-Detroit Free Press.
 Clara-I understand that Mr. Fetherly paid me very pretty compliment to-day. Ethel-Yes? What was it! Clara-He said that among the most beautiful young ladies at the party was Miss Clara Smith. Ethel (with a cough(-Yes, I noticed you among them.
 Esmeralda Longcofhn's parent says to young MT. Staylate: 'I may be an old man, and a darned ugly old man, but if you don't go home I'll show you that I still possess the fire of youth, for I'll fire a youth out of this house, and you will be the youth"
 Young Staylate: ''Mr. Longcoffin, is this hint for me to goa''
 A commercial traveller, wishing to take a rise out of a clergyman who occupied the same compartment, asked him if he had ever heard that in Paris, as often as priest was hanged, donkey was hanged at the same time. The victim of the joke replied in his blandest manner, ''Well, then, let us both be thankful we are not in Paris"
 In Criminal Court-The district attorney, in hne burst of indignant eloquence points to the prisoner at the bar. ''Yes, gentlemen of the jury, you see at the end of my arm one of the most seoundrelly men that" The prisoner Gnterruptiug): 'I admit, gentle men of the jury, that my aceuser is in the right, but he forgets to say at which end of his arm."
 ssAnd is this to be the end of alla" said OReilly De We're as he seized the girls hand. ''Thats about the size of it,'' she replied coldly. ''You tell me that your employer has refused to raise your salar, ?" "Yes," cried the youth eagerly; "but next year" "Excuse me-" she interrupted with Arctic frigidity, "but am not investing in futures not this week "-Tid- Bits.
 E'I want you to notice that butter dish, :" said the landlady to her boarders; F1 think a great deal of it. It's an old piece of china an heirloom, you know" "Yes," said Potts, who was the oldest boarder, ''I can certify to the truth of that statement. I have often seen hair loom up in it." Hereafter Potts will have to pay his board in advance. -Elmira Gazette.
 A little friend of mine was recently taken to the place where his grandfather had been buried few weeks previous-a lonely spot on the edge of gloomy wood down in Le Sueur county ''Is this heaven, mammal whispered the little fellow, fearfully. ''No, 1 dear; this is graveyard" "Well," return ed the little fellow, thoughtfully, "Im glad it isn't. You told..me grandpa had gone to heaven, and I thought that this was the place. "-St. Paul Pioneer Press