The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1887-02-17
PITY THE HUSBANDS.

Tho Interesting Way In which Oono -.
ried Women Go 70 sleen
There is an article going the rounds
entitled "How the Girls Go to Slssp.n
The manner in which they 20 TO sleep,
according to the article, can't hold 1
candle to the way . married woman
goes to sleep.
Instead of thinking what shs should
have attended to before going - bed,
she thinks of it afterward. While ~
is revolving these things in her mind,
and while snngly tucked up in bed,
the old man is scratching his head il
front Of the fire and wondering how hs
will pay the next months rent. Sud
denly she exclaims:
''James, did you lock the door,"
(Which door," says JameA
1.-THE cellar door" says she.
NO." says James.
"Well, you had better 60 down and
lock it, for / heard some one n The
back yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down
the stairs and locks the door. About
the time James returns and il going =
bed she remarks:
IBID you shut the stair-doorp''
''No,' says James.
"Well, If it Is not shut the cot win
get up into the chamber"
LET her come up, then. " says James,
ill-naturedly.
My goodness, nor returns his vita.
''she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles down-stairs
again and steps on tack. and closes
the stair-door, and curses the cak and
returns to the bedroom. Just . he
begins to climb into his couch HE vile
observes:
Il forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring mp some IN the BIZ
tin.
And SO James, with muttered curse,
goes Gown into the dark kitchen and
falls over chair and rasps Ill the tin
ware off the wall in search Of the ..bie''
tin. and then jerks the stair-door OMEN
and bowls: ..Where the deuce are tha
matchesp'
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, ard adds
that she would rather 20 and ret IL
water herself than have the whole
neighborhood raised about d After
which James finds the matches. pro.
cures the water, and comes up-stairu
and plunges into bed.
Presently his wife says: "Jamee,
lets have an understanding about mon
ey matters. Now, next week I've xOe
to pay -"
Il don't know what you'll have 20
pay and don't care" shouts James, C
he lnrches around and Jams his face
against the wall. AL I want u
sleep"
That's all very we'll. for you, " snaps
his wife. as she pulls the covers vicieus-
"; 'you never think of the worry and
trouble | have. And there i Araminp
ia. who. I believe. il taking he
measles"
'.Let her take EN-" SAYS James.
Hercupon she begins 70 CRY softly.
but about the time James is falling in
TO gentle doze she punches him ii the
ribs with her elbow, and says:
ibid you hear that scandal shout
Mrs. Jones?'
''Where?' says James. sleepily.
''Why. Mrs. Jones'"
''Where?" inquiries Jamea
Il declare" said his wife," ron are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. ZIP
Well. day before yesterday Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam.
Barker had said that Mira Jones
had -"
Here she paused and listened. james
is snoring in profound slumber. With
> snort Of rage she pulls all tho covers
81 him, wraps up in them, and lies
awake until two .. m. thinking how
badly used she is.
And that is the way some married
women 60 to sleep.-Chicago 1tibxnS.