davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1887-07-21
REVISED DEFINITIONS.

Author--A man who scissors the dis tance tables out of railway guide, the population of cities from the census, an article on s.Volcanoes' from the encvcio- pedia, the rules of base ball from news paper almanac, and then publishes 1t under the title of stGems of Thought and Mines of Knowledge" The term was formerly applied also to person who wrote book in this sense it is now obsolete.
 Beauty, Professional Advertising l Agency.
 ganized for the purpose of supporting the Congressional Record and denying what ever may be printed therein. See, also article on Natural Gas. Critic See Manager.
 Divorce-See Chicago.
 Drouth-See Prohibition.
 . Duel-A fashionable amusement, form erly considered dangerous, but now quite popular among the lelsure classes on &C., count of it's assured harmlessness. It IS highly recommended by physicians for all persons who are too weak to play base ball. .t
 Egg-A tribute of respect and admira- tion. See Lecturer.
 Fun-See Boys and ttHeadache H
 Gum Chewing-A course of study at a l girls school; see also caramel and bed head m s,-za -.. -.s...... -..... E.
 Horse-A complication ef strange dis eases, that develop immediately after the sale. See 'tTaken In'' and 'Honest Farm ler." t-
 Independent-One who always takes the other side to show that he can't be influ- enced. e s-... ..-
 Judge-A title of honor applied to gen. tlemen who hold stop watches and have the best seats at horse races; in eunciviliz- ed communities sometimes applied to per sons who preside at the sessions of courts of justIce. -+'<
 Kicker-A man who never originates anything or suggests anything and opposes everything any one else suggests. See "Mule."
 Lady-A female who takes in washing, does kitchen work, or waits on hotel ta- bles.
 = Major-A citizen of Georgia
 Narcotic-See Sermon Onion-A drug for strengthening the breath much used by confidential people whom you cordially dislike and who are forever trying to whisper something to you which you do not wish to know.
 Professor-Any one except an instructor ill college or university; usually horse tanner or dancing master sometimes 6 corn doctor.
 Quart-A unit of measure applied to the size of the hip pocket in Kansas a flask which holds about enough for five men in Boston, three in Ohio, and one in Arkan sas.
 Rider-In England, man who tries to fall off horse in New York, 8 man who does fall of. See also Bounce" and "Buck."
 Talk--A singular sound produced by opening a vacuum; disease often fata to presidential candidates, who are apt tc be attacked by it unless restrained by theil friends. See "Lockjaw. | Umbrella-A myth of the Nineteenth Century; piece of portable property that cannot be held in severaIty some thing which you have not, or, if you have it is not yours that which cannot be kept See, also, "Thief. D
The Press., 1887-07-21

BIRD STORIES An eagle measuring eight feet six inches from tip to tip of its wings was killed near Atlanta while flee ing before flock of twenty angry crows.
 In great storm of snow and sleet last winter, in England, the wings of rocks froze fast to their bodies and hundreds of the birds were killed by falling trees, be ing unable to fly.
 Visconnt Arbuthnot, of London, has a brown eagle that has been in his posses sion caged for more than twenty years. He always supposed it to be a male until it laid an egg on April 5.
 A correspondent of the London Field tells of 8 robin that built its nest on a shelf in his dressing room and has laid three eggs in it. He says of the mother robin and her mate "A small window is always open few inches, and of morn, ing when dressing one or the other of tho birds will be at the opening watching mC and enter the room the moment I leave it.
 MT. A. s. Floyd is owner of cottage a Long Branch. A pair of fish hawks bull their nest in the chimney of the cottage and Mrs. Floyd brought down upon heI head the protestations of all the old wo men of Oceanville by announcing her pur, pose to expel the feathered intruders. Ar old lady of seventy walked more than thre, miles to see Mrs. Floyd and warn heI against the lawful i'll luck" which follows the destruction of fish h-hawk's nest.
The Press., 1887-07-21

Hor DAYS, THOSE WERE. Said Colonel Phil Hoyne yesterday 'The hottest day in the history of Chicago was July 4, 1887. At noon that day the thermometer regis tered 123o in the shade. The lake stewed and steamed like tea-kettle, and fish foated ashore already boiled and with cream gravy on them"
 "June 28, 1842, was the hottest day I ever knew of" said Long John Went worth. "I was living on farm tAen-the Cooley farm, near where Kinsley's res taurant stands now. It was so hot that we had to hang the thermometer in the well and keep flaming it to prevent it from bursting"
 "On August 6, 1S46," said Amos Tuck. el, i've caught 8 blazer. Along about sunset went out to the barnyard to see how the stock was getting along. We had twelve fine hogs just ready for the market. Well, when got to the barn. yard all I could find of them hogs was twelve buckets of leaf lard. .'' ..t7.,
 '"The hottest day ever knew of was July 15, 1853," said Jonathan Young Scammon. "I remember the exact date, because on the morning of that day our hens all laid hard boiled eggs. = Chicago Ne1OS
The Press., 1887-07-21

"I have only known of one instance where badness proved renumerative, said an old gentleman to St. Louis Globe writer. A friend of mine, who had shin. ing pate, fell into the habit of watching the actions of his tormentors, the fes. He noticed that fly always walks upward. Put fly on the window, and up he goes toward the top he can't be made to walk down. So my friend hit upon an idea. Why not use that habit against them { Forthwith he made window screen, ,dlvid. ed in half. The upper half lapped over the lower. with an inch of space between. Well, as soon as fly would light on the screen he would proceed to travel upward, and would thus walk straight outdoors. On reaching the top of the lower half he would be outside. Not being able to walk down, he had no way of return to the room. By this means room can be quickly clear ed of flies, which always seek the light. My friend has got out a patent, and pro poses to begin a systematic war against the household pest"
The Press., 1887-07-21
SOME FUNNY BLUNDERs.

CA telegraphic operator, no matter how expert he may be, becomes in time a sort of machine. Sitting long hours at his in- strument listening to the monotonous- tick of his sounder he becomes deaf to reason and allows what comes into his ears to ooze out of his pen point without taking accur- ate cognizance of what he is writing. They perpetrate bulls that in their waking senses they know to be wrong. Here's one that caused considerable consterna- ton in an up town family. As the oper- ator received it, it read ~,
 Unclean Gus died today.
 "It should have read
 Uncle Angus died to-day.
 Another one that Is quite familiar to telegraph operators is so ridiculous that it is worth printing. The message as receiv- ed read fT ..t
 Jags is not 100.
 "There is not an atom of sense in that, |, and the party to whom the message was sent came back with monumental kick. The message was corrected to read: :
 James is not well. ......# -.
 "The different characters used in the Morse code will read, if written as the ear catches them, either way, so you see it was machine work with an operator who was either too tired to use his judgment, or by
  Finding this an interesting study the re- porter visited the operating room below. Mr. Dwight. the night operator, told one on himself {: "I was an operator in Wash ington during the war, "he said, "and was working with man down the Potomac, who was one of the veriest plugs in exist ence. He was sending me dispatch in which he said
 John Smith, 1,170, and from Boston.
 "Fhat didn't look right to me and I re- peated it back to him. He insisted that had it right, but it turned out to be John Smith II miles from Boston.
 "The '1P was all right, the mi made the character 't&' and there's where made my mistake. This mi has caused consid, erable trouble in our messages handled by inexperienced operators, and sometimes a first class one gets caught. 1000 K st Boston Is To Milk street, Boston, and 70 Waukee' is Milwaukee,
 At this instant Mir. Thomas Kennedy the eastern wire chief, came to the desk. He said "Heres one that beats them all It happened in a special that passed through the office and was perpetrated by first class operator. How's this
 Guaranteed for AS hams.
 When corrected it read
 Quarantined for 48 hours.
 Here's another that caused considera- ble trouble to the messenger boys hunting for an unknown firm. The telegram came for Julige X Erson, and it took the deliv. cry department whole day to discover that the message was for Judge Ander son.-NeW York EUeni'lG San.
The Press., 1887-07-21

HER FATHERS PROFESSION. baby girl of three years, who had strayed away from home, was found by policeman The child's father was leading lawyer in the place where he lived.
 "What's your name, little one?" in. quired Monsieur Bluecoat.
 fsMamie, " was the reply.
 Mamie what P
 .No, not Mamie what, deg Mamie
 "What's your fathers business ?''
 The little girl reflected and replied "He tuts meat r
 The policeman imagined the father tc be a butcher, but subsequently, found that Mamie's opinion of her fathers business was based upon his proficiency in carving roast meats nt the dinner table. - Youth '6 Companion.
The Press., 1887-07-21
The ThontrIcnI proforsIon

Merit win win and receive public recognition and praise Facts which are thc outcome Of general e1- perenec, growing through years of critical and practical test become rooted and innmovablo as the rock of Glbrnltar in public oplnion and hence forth need no further Guarnntco to thoir genu. incncks Tho indlsputab;o fact that swtfts Specific is the Lest blood purifier ia tho world is of these Immovabio Gibraltar Trck facts of which we have spoken, aud every days experience roots this Vlctou deeper aId dcepnr ia public opinion. Every class of our people ll America and in Europe. nedlcal profession, havo borne voluntary toptt. mony to the remarkable virtues of S \. s. and It's inralblc eficacy in curing all diseases Of the snnds, and open Co the Inspection of all Now come unsolicited, two distinguished members of the theat. rcal pfocsSIb who gratefully tcHtfy Co the wonder fnl curative qualities of the Specific in their ind yldual cascs. Thclr tcstlmonals are herewith sub mltted Co the public without further comment-iet the fainous Thala Thcatre Company. of New York. many, aud or McVcker's stock Company, of Chicago. The Eentlcmyn tS h well known member uf the New York 1hnlia fhoalro Company Doth pre woll known ln theatrical circles In tlls country and in Europe.
 Charlotte tsamdow's Testimony.
 NEW YoRK, May 8. issI. Swift Specific Company, Atlanta, Ca.
 Gentlcmen-I Having been annoyed with pinipiaa eruptions and lOugllness of the skin, rum bad con dit9n Of my blood, for moro than year. used leading prcparntton of sarsapara and other ndver- srt reinedies Co no effect. Then consulted prom@ lnent physician, and from his treatment received Cdy Tor The b!oud, nnd nvo ax packages by a thorough eradication CT my trouble and restoring slho"thnrsS ta my fkln, have made me happy, ar chrerruily give yOu taiJ testimonial for such uso
 CHARLOTTE RAINBOW,
 e-..... . l59 Bowery, near Canal Streotg
The Press., 1887-07-21

Chronic Coughs and Colds and all diseases of the Throat and Lungs can be cured by the use of Scott's Emulsion, as it contains the healing virtues of Cod Liver Oil and Hypo- phosphites in their fullest form. ''I consider Scott's Emulsion the remedy par excellence in Tuberculosis and Strumous affections, to say nothing of ordinary colds and throat trou- bles w. R. s. OoNNELL, M. D., Ranches fer 0
The Press., 1887-07-21

HAY FEyER.-I have been a great sufferer from hay fever for 15 years, and have tried various things without doing any good. read of the many wondrous cures of Elys Cream Balm and thought would try once more. In 15 minutes after one application I commenced using it and now I feel entirely cured. It is the greatest discovery ever known or heard of.-Duhamel Clark, Farmer, Lynn, Maaa
The Press., 1887-07-21
CHARLES MERRIAM.

Springfield has had no better llustra- tion of the christian gentleman in active and practical business life than has been given by Charles Merriam. He was a man who fulfilled the apostles injunction of diligence in business and fervor in spir- it, and condbined with admirable business enterprise and wisdom burning desire to leave the community and the world better than he found it. His local benefactions were many and large, the city library, the Homes for friendless women and children, the South church and Faith and Hope chapels being greatly indebted to him for generous gifts, while the mission boards, home and foreign, have had in MT. Merri- am one of their leading and most constant benefactors. The three brothers, George, Charles and Homer, who were so long as- sociated in business together, and whose partnership was broken first by the with drawal of Charles 10 years ago at the age of 70, and then by the death of George seven years ago, were as one in their be- nevolent sympathies and purposes, and as Homer Merriam now expresses it, Broth or Charles and did the work and Brother George did good with the money we made, and so we all shared in the work and in the results" But while as firm they made many gifts in common they each had their individuality and their special lines of activity and supplemented each other as business firm and as trio of active christian men.
 Each and all of them had great fondness for helping young men, and Charles Mer- riam's Sunday school class of young men was for many years one of the most at- tractive features of the South church, and held with firm grasp many young men who believed in MT. Merriam's religion at any rate, whatever else they may have dis believed. Among MT. Merriam's ''boys'' were such men as Charles Marsh, Henry s. Lee, Malcolm Moody, Charles Meade, Charles Blague, William Kirkham, and many others now in active middle life, or gone before, and those of them now sur viving bear grateful witness to MT. Merri- ann 8 kindly interest in them. He did not confne himself to being simply their teach CT on Sundays, but he was their constant friend and had them at his house and his office evenings and afternoons, giving them instruction and suggestions that de- veloped self-reliant manhood and strong christian character. The exactions of a large business never kept MT. Merriam from helping others, and it may truthfHlly be said of him, "He did what he could, '' and the world is the better and the sweeter for such & life. His christian character was broad and liberal, and death to him was only the transition from the waiting room here, to the palace chamber of his Lord and Redeemer.
 M
The Press., 1887-07-21

The Favorite Washing Compound of the day is JAMES PYLE's PEARLINE. It eleanses fabrics without injury and without the labor ious scrubbing necessary with ordinary soap. For sale by grocers
The Press., 1887-07-21
Never Despair

Until you have tried what Ayers Pills can do, for you. It is the Liver that renders your views of life so gloomy. Depend upon it, box or two of Ayers purely vegetable, ugar7coated, Cathar- tic Pills would materially change your feelings, and still make
 XXX Life Worth Living. ,i Lucius Alexander, Marblehead, Mass, says ]" was severely afflicted with Dyspepsia and Enlargement of the Liver, most of the time being unable to retain any solid food on my stomach. Three boxes of Ayers Pills cured me-"
 "Ayer's Pills are a sure cure for Liver Complaint. Nothing seemed to help me until I finally began to take Ayers Pills."- E. s. Fulton, Hanover, N. H.
 \. Ayers P111s,J Prepared by Dr.J. c. Ayer& Co.,, Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists and Dealers in Medicine.
The Press., 1887-07-21
TO CONSERVATIVES.

The undersigned having been re- stored to health by simple means, after suffering for several years with severe lung affection, and that dread disease Consumption, is anxious to make known to his fellow sufferers the means of cure. To those who desire it, he will cheerfully send free of charge) 8 copy of the prescription used, which they willfind a sure cure for Consumption, Asthma, CatarPh, Bronchitis and all throat and lung Maladies. He as it. is invaluable. Those desiring the prescription, which will cost them noth- ing, and may prove a blessing, will please address, REV. EDWARD A. WIIr- SON, Williamsburg Kings County
 New York.
The Press., 1887-07-21
D20 AroIa Str.

1o26 <0EOh Street. Ftliladas E0s A WE'LL TRIED TREATMENT for Con. A sumption, Asthma, Bronchitis Dyspepsia, Ca. tarrh, Hay Fever, Headache, Debility, Rheumatism Neuralgia, and all Chronic and Nervous Disorders.
 "The Compound oxyg n TTeatment,p Drs. Starkey Palen No. 1929 Arch-st., Philadelphia, have been jHstment of the elements of Oxygen and Nitrogen magpetized, and the compound is so condensed and made portable that it is sent all over the world.
 Drs. starkey Paien have lhe liberty to refer the fol owing well known persons who have tried their treatment: H" r ...- a. ..E
 EsOn. Wm. ID. ..KeIIy, Member of Congress, Rev. Victor II. Conrad, Editor Lutheran ob-
 server, Philadelphia.
 Rev. Chas. ". 6ushtng, D.D., Rochester, Hon. W,n. Penn Dixon, Editor Inter-ocean, Rev. A. ". Moore, EditOrThe Centenary, Lam ". H: ''Sg; W;orsi,ng.on, a Ii Editor New south Bir- Judge H- F. Vrooman, ouenemo, Kan. Mrs. M@ry A: LtyermOre, Melnoee Mass. s1ndgs R' '. XoSrhses, New York City,
 gr. Prank siddail, Merchant, Philadelphia Hon. ". ". AchuyleE. Easton, Pa;
 EGwaFd Ls Wilson, SS3 Broadway, N. Y,, Ed-
 itor Philadelphia Photographer.
 Fldena M. LyOns Waimea, Hawaii, Sandwich Alex ander R tte h ie, Inverness, Scotland MFS. Manuei V. Ortega, Fresnillo, Zacatecas, Mrs. Emma Cooper, Utina, ,spanishHOndnras
 Central America.
 Js Cobb, U. s, Vice ConHpl, Casablanca, Morocco. Ms W A@hbr0Oik. Red Bluff, Cal
 Ermest Turner, Nottingham, England. 1acOb Ward, Bowral New South Wales. And thousands of others in every part of the United
 Compound 0xygen-its Mode of Action and Re sults Is the title oi new brochure of two hundred pages, published by Drs. Starkey a Fallen. which gives to all inquirers full Information 10 this markable curative agent and record of several hum dred surprising cures in a wide range of chronic by other physicians. Also ssConponnd Oxygen, its Origin and Development" an interesting book of hundred pages. Both or either will be mailed free ef.. DAkHs GT.A8LEY N FALLEN,
 NOs 1929 Arch-st., Phtladelphta, Pa.
The Press., 1887-07-21

M07TnTT to be made Cut this out W RMH and return to us, and we will send WtHNHHN you free something of great value 4I4 v 4u1 4 and importance to you, that will money right away than anything else in this world. Any one can do the work and live at home Either sex all ages Something new, that just coins money for all workers. We will start you capialnot need ed This is one of the genuine, important chances of lifetime. Those who are ambitious and enterpris- ing will not delay. Grand outfit free.
 Address TRuE & Cn Annnsta Maine
The Press., 1887-07-21

Not particle of calomel, nor any other deleterious substance, enters into the compo- sition of Ayers Pills. On the contrary, this medicine is carefully compounded from the curative properties of purely vegetable sub stances. Try it.
The Press., 1887-07-21
WORKING A2IH GhAsSHs IHaSl6

" "OhIA1N ATTENTION: We are prepared to furnish all classes with em- poyment at home the whole of the time or for their Persons of either easily earn from 50 cents to $500 per evening, and proportional sum by devot- ing all their time to the business. Boys and girls earn nearly as much as men. That all who see this may send their address, and test the business we make this offer. To such not well satisfied we will send dollar to pay for the trouble of writing Full particulars and outfit free. Address
 GEORGE STINsoN d& Co.,, Portland, Maine
The Press., 1887-07-21
Hugo uns-lscrrs Testimony.

Tac Swift Specific Company, Atlanta. Ga: G,.utemen-ror two years had a severe caaa of ccz,i Iused tnr sOaIs, sulpbur soaps and various btlrr remedies and was prescribed for by number or physicians, but round no rciiof. Al last deter ncd 10 try the S g. remedy, and seven or eight bottles have thoroughly relieved me, and you can u0o this certificate iu any manner you wish HDoo HAAsKURT.
 Member of ThHlla Theatre Nc,, York. May g. ISSf
The Press., 1887-07-21

WTANTED-LADTES TO WORK FOR
 w US at their homes. S7 to $1O per week can be quietly made. No photo painting no canvassing For full particulars, please address, at once, CRES CENT ART CO, 147a Milk-st., Boston, Mass. Box 5170
The Press., 1887-07-21

Tr .'tt1e on Blood and skin Diseases mailed free THE SWIFT srncuIo O.,
 Drawer A. Atlanta Qa
The Press., 1887-07-21

You will never regret sending three cent stamps to pay postage to A.P Ordway X Go !, Boston, Mass for copy of Dr. Kaufmann's B great Medical Work 100 pages, co,ored it. lustrations of great value to every family.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-07-14
MERCHANDISE REPORT.

The following freight passed New Orleans on
the 4th instant
For Sacramento-Hale Bros. & Co., case dry
goods; Huntington, Hopkins u Co, packages
axes, cases casters, case hardware, 40 boxes
horseshoe nails; John +. Cooper, boxes pianos;
A. A. Van VOORHEES, d Co., cases bolts, l case
I'bolt nuts, ! case saddlery; Capital Furniture
Company, l case glass; Adams McNien & Co.,
80 cases fruit; W. 7. Coleman & Co., lS2 cases
baking powder; II. Fisher & Co., ! bags nuts; A.
G. TUFTS, 20 crates bottles; Kirk, Geary & Co.,
box gum arabic, / box balsam, / case oil, s
packages condensed milk, l case toilet soap: A.
Dennery Co., case crockery; T. II. Cook &
Co, box pepper, l box blueing, box rice
flour, barrels sugar; l. Elkus / Co., 2 cases
cotton goods; J. Stoll, 2 bales horse blankets, .
bundles currycombs; J. g. Davis, rolls jute
mating; Lindley & Co.. Al packages tobacco;
Weinstock & Lubin, cases clocks, case cloth
ing. Is cases boots and shoes: Southern Pacific
Company, box washers; Sacramento Glass and
Crockery Company, crate crockery. bundles
iron castings; Booth & Co.. A packages tobacco.
The following freight passed oyer the South
ern route on the 9th instant
For Sacramento-Baker Il Hamilton 2i2 reels
barbed wire; Standard Oil Company, l carload
naphtha, carload white lead.