davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
Anmuruns department.

! HIS LITTLE M1sTAKE.-The old style Of
Methodist class meeting has not exactly
gone into innocuous deseutude in Texas,
BUTT is not as prevalentas it wasi in Golden
times" Then you would find one going
on every Sunday morning, and every
school house or church in each small town,
city, hamlet or ne%ighborhood, had its class
meeting, or experience meeting" as they
were more frequently called. And the
habit of getting together and telling each
other of their shortcomings, and of their
trials and temptations and general mora
life had a good effect and seemed to make
everyone better and encourage them and
show them that there were others that
s%ympathized with them in every trial and
reioiced with them in triumph. One morn
ing, not far from where stands the -four
ishing town of Kyle, q ~strolling Irishman
found himself seated in a little shed-rooi
house listening to the experience of a LOT
of the faithful. OF o Mike was aston.
ished, and listened alone in silent wonder
till q young brother got up who was rather
bashful and began:
II have married me a wife, brethren,
and" 49,,
stThe divil you have !" said Mike, which
caused a momentary litter; but the young
brother recovered and continued:
II have married me a wife, and l am
glad to say that she is a daughter OF the
Lord"
Mike could stand it no more. He shout
ed: Co.,,
"Arrah! sit down.. ye .galoot! Sure
Amid 8 roar Mike was put out. He
took it for q political meeting.
-
IT ANSWERED n PURPOSE.-A Ter
IMAM, one of whose eyes was severely al
lfected, went to an occulist for treatment
An operation was necessary, and the eye
! was removed. While treating the socket
| previous to transplanting one from a RABBIT,
one of the. visual organs of the latter oelng
prepared and laid upon the table, a ca!
stole in, and before any one could preVen
had seized and eaten the rabbits eye. nc
other rabbit being at hand to furnish tne
eye,t the occulist waited until MS pstlenl
had recovered from the state OF anastnesla
necessary to the operation. n exPiaineo
the dilemma to him. "Yah, yah, de katz
ate mine eve up; 80, so, veil put an eye Of
dat Sssz in mine eye. Dot katz got mine
v i vii hat dot katz's eye." The ocu'
list did so for the sake of the experiment
when, strange to say, the operation Was
successful and the cats eye worked perfect
". One day the German met q frlend
who said:
"Hans, I hear dat you hat q katz eye in
your head in, how ish dot?" Hans ex
blamed the circumstances, and his frlenG
said: "Oh I see, dot katz got your eye ano
YOU got dat katz eye, yah, und how does
dot katz eye work? Can you see shust 81
goot as NIT de oder?"
"Yah, shust so goot, aber at night ven
wants to shleeb, dot verdamter eye shus'
lies awake looking for rats.-Chicago m
Nuee. &
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

CONVENTION OF PosTMAsTERs.-The
National Convention of Third and Fourth
Glass Postmasters will meet in this city on
the second Tuesday in December. The
object of the convention is to secure legis-
lation making postmasters of these two
classes allowances for rent and clerk hire,
expenses now borne by the postmasters.
The inequality in the third class is quite
apparent. Postmasters receiving 1900
have to pay their own Office rent and clerk
hire. Those paid a hundred dollars more
50, OO0-have allowances for clerk hire and
rent. This will be the second convention
of the kind ever held, the first being in
Chicago. The number of participants is
uncertain. Of the $4,000 postmasters in
the United States, however, 2,30O are Pres,
third classes, and the remainder, fourth
class, are appointed by the Postmaster
General Washington Critic.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

All who desire full information about the cause
and cure of Blood Poisons, Scrofula and S%crofulous
Swellings, Ulcers, Sores, Rheumatism, Kidney Com
plants, Catarrh, etc, can secure a copy Of our 81.
page Illustrated Book of Wonders, hlled WIN the
most wonderful and startling proof ever before known
by calling on MAY MAY,
Wholesale dealers of b. B. B., Yorkville, :. :.
November . ~
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
CAR SERVICE.
R BOUND.

On Trains Nos. So and SO, Pullman Buffet sleepers between
Washington and Augusta, via DanviIe.
On Trains Nos. 81 and so between Charleston and Hot
Springs, N. c., via A. C. l.. and Columbia and spartanburg.
Through Passenger Coach between Charleston and Morris
town, Wat 8. C. Railway, Columbia and Spartanburg.
Tickets on sale at Principal Stations TO all Points.
JAS. l.. TAYLOR, d. CARDWELL, SOL. HASS,
Genl Pass. Agent. Asst Genl Pass. Agent, Traffic Manager.
Columbia, 3. Z.
August 81 If
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

A LOCOMOTIVE IN A DAY.-Some idea
of the extent to which mechanical inge-
nuity and efficiency have advanced, may
be had from the following statement: ut
is now possible to construct a complete
sewing machine in a minute, or sixty in
one hour; a reaper every fifteen minutes.
or less; 800 watches a day, complete in all
their appointments. More important than
this even is the fact that it is possible to
construct a locomotive ina day. From the
plans of a draughtsman to the execution
of them by the workmen, every wheel,
lever, valve, and rod may be constructed
from the metal to the engine intact. Ev-
ery rivet may be driven in the boiler,
every tube in the tube sheets, and from
the smoke stack to the ashpan, a locomo-
tive may be turned out in a working day,
completely equipped ready to do the work
of a hundred horses" Without such ma
chinery and the skilled labor to operate
them, the civilized world of to-day would
be an impossibility.-Boston Budget.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
GALLERY;

THOROUGHLY fitted up with new back
grounds, accessories, &c, and with fine
sky-light, I am prepared to taxi a picture in
any style of the art, as we'll executed as can be
done elsewhere.
CHILDREN'S PICTURES A SPECIALITY.
By the dry plate process I can take them in
stantly make no difference about fair or
cloudy weather.
lido all my own printing and finishing, and
there is very little delay in delivery.
WORK.
Pictures copied and enlarged and finished in
the highest style to be had, and prices reason
able.
Give me a call and see specimens Of work, at
my Gallery on West Liberty Street, near the
jail. j. R. SCHORB.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
s.HYGEIA.''
A Wonderful Discovery,
TOBACCO AN AID TO HEALTH!

A NEW TOBACCO, manufactured by Thos.
n c. Williams e. Co., Richmond. Va, under
a formula prepared by Prof. Mallett, Of the
University of Virginia.
Anti Malarial, Anti yspeptic, agood Nerv-
inc, and an excellent Chew.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
PREMIUMS TO CLUB-MAKERS

To club-makers for the approaching volume,
we offer THREEaPREM1UMS for the three
largest clubs, as follows:
One BREWSTER SIDE BAR PIANO BOX
BUGGY, worth $50.
One set handsome WALNUT BEDROOM
FURNITURE, worth $50.
One DOUBLE BARREL BREECH-LOAD-
ING SHOT GUN worth SIC.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

ENGAGING A SERvANT.-Housekeep-
er-Are you a good washer and %ironer?
Applicant-Please, mum, the last fami-
w. I was with sent their wash to the
laundry.
"Can you make good bread?"
''Most folks buy of the bakers nowadays,
num-"
IT suppose you can sweep?"
"The lady used to do that, num-, wild a
carpet-sweeper."
"Well I suppose you at least know how
to wash Dishes"
"Indade, mum, if it's a common dish
washer We want, We better be after hirin' a
nagur. Good-day, num-"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
after three long hours, he returned this
time with his friend, and they carried
away their prey, and bestowed it in their
underground home.

SUGAR MAKING IN THIS COUNTRY
The experiments conducted under the aus
pieces of the National Department of Ag-
riculture, at Fort Scott, Kansas, in making
sugar from sorghum cane, have been an
nounced a complete success by Commits
sioner Colman. The new process is rapid,
less costly and more efficient than the old
process. By the latter it is estimated that
about one half of the saccharine matter
was wasted, even in the southern sugar
cane. The diffusion process, it is claimed,
v about So per cent. of the s~accharine
matter. Experiments are being conduct
ed in Louisiana, with making sugar from
the ribbon cane by the new process. Com
missioner Colman believes that these ex-
periments and their results are as impor-
tant to this country as the invention OF
the cotton gin. ,
The only entirely successful experiment
in beet sugar production in this country,
has been at the Alvarado factory, in Cali
fornia. 1t appears from a recent report
that there are possibilities of supplement-
ing the crop of the San Joaquin valley so
as to lengthen the factory season in Cali
fornia to five months instead of three, the
length of the season in Europe.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

pa- In a good old Western Massachusetts
town lives a doctor who has buried four
wives. When number four was a bride OF
a few days she went with her oldest step
daughter into the attic to find an ironing
board. Seeing a board that she thought
would answer her purpose nicely, she was
about to take it, when the daughter ex-
claimed: ,
"Oh, don't take that, for that is what
father uses to lay out his wives on"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
ED. JEFFERYS.
UNDERTAKING.

WE claim to be abreast of the times in the
w Undertaking business. We have the
latest novelties in the way of trimming, &C.,
and carry a complete stock of Collins of all
sizes and prices. We also have on hand a
lot of very handsome burial Cases and Caskets
for adults made Of walnut and other choice
woods. We have some Broadcloth Cases that
are very handsome. Also, Metallic Cases. We
have a nice line of White Gloss Cases and Cas-
kets for children, which are very pretty and
appropriate. We will make it to the interest
Of anyone in need of any of the above men
toned articles to call on us. We will sell as
cheap as anyone, and will sell on time to re-
sponsible parties. Our personal attention will
be given to all funerals in town.
j. ED. JEFFERYS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
SERIAL STORIES

From the pens of the most popular writer's of
fiction in the world, and which department
alone, on account of the character ofthe stories
that we shall secure, will give it additional
interest to all readers of light literature: In
addition to the Story, Literary and Miscellane,
Gus features of the paper, careful attention will
be bestowed on the News department, which
will embrace a record Of the leading events at
the State and National Capitals; Congressional
and Legislative proceedings "scraps and
Facts,'' being a hotch-potch of light current
topics; a compend of the News Abroad and at
Home; County and General Correspondence ;
Market Reports Local and State News Edi-
torial Articles upon appropriate subjects, in
tended to promote the welfare and prosperity
of our State and people, which will, we trust,
continue to render the ENQUIRER a welcome
and entertaining Family Journal.
TERMS OF sUBsORIPTIoN---FREE OF POSTAGE.
Single COPY, one wear. s. $50
Two copies, one year.. 4.W
One copy, two years, 400
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
Q. @. PARISH.
THE FALL SEASON.

LIE IALU OIAOUN.
THE undersigned, thankful for the liberal
patronage bestowed upon his house during
the summer season just closed, would respect
fully inform the public that he is now receiv-
ing his
Fall and Winter Stock,
Of new and seasononable Goods, consisting
in part of
DRY GOODS,
CLOTHING,
HATS AND CAPS,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
NOTIONS, &C.,
All of which were bought at favorable prices,
and will be sold at SHORT PROFITS.
Particular attention is called to our large and
elegant stock Of Clothing, and our facilities
for furnishing anything to order specially
desired in this line.
We also have a full line of Sample Hats of
the latest styles which we are selling at New
York prices.
Call and examine our Goods and Prices be-
fore making your purchases.
Ms- Mr.. w. H. Colcock is still at this House,
and will be pleased to see his old friends, guar
anteeing to serve them right.
C. G. PARISH.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
TRY IT! NO

For particulars of it's virtues call for certifi-
Gates at the following places, where the Tobac-
co can be had: KENNEDY BROS. & BAR
RON'S, and r. B. LOWRY'S.
September % 80 3m
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

EVIDENCE INDIsPUTABLE.-Winks--
"Do you believe the spirits OF the depart
ed can communicate with the living"
Jinks-"Yes, I have had an absolute
proof of it,"
"You don't say SOP"
81 suppose you know when l married
the present Mrs. Jinks she was a widow"
eyes" -,
"Well sometime afterward I went with
q friend to see a medium, just for the Jun
of the thing, you know, and as sure as I'm
alive she gave me a message from my
wife's first husband"
Gin his writing 2"
80, now
"Did YOU see him or hear him talk ~
mo, the medium just told me what he
said"
. Nonsense /; then what proof nave you
that the communication was genulne"'
ssHe said he was sorry for me-"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
F. HAPPERFIELD
REMEMBER THE DEAD.

T WOULD invite special attention to my
TOMBSTONES, among which are several
beautiful SCOTCH GRANITE AND ITAL-
IAN MONUMENTS. Also a full supply of
TOMBSTONES. Prices as low, to responsible
parties, as anywhere else, either for cash or on
time,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
ENLARGED WORK..
EXCHANGE BANK.

EACf1ANOE bANA,
Yorkville, S. c.
r.. S. JEFFERYS, President.
10 F.. Vice-President
FRANK A. GILBERT. Cashier,
Organized September 1, 1887.
TNHE BANK will receive Deposits. buy and
i sell Exchange, make Loans and do a gen.
eral Banking Business.
The officers tender their courteous services
to its patrons and the public generally.
September6 So If
APPLICATION FOR DISCHARGE.
NOTICE is hereby given that the undersign-
J. ed, Executor Of the estate of VIM. A.
CURRENCE, deceased, has made a final settle
ment with the Judge of Probate for York coun-
ty, and on the 2lst day of November, 1857, at II
o'clock, NJ, will make application for a final
discharge from liability as Executor of the
said estate.
NJ. H. CURRENCE, Executor.
October 10 AZ st
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
MUSIC LESSONS.

NTISS ZORAIDA INGOLD respectfully OF
fers her services, at her residence, as
TEACHER OF MUSIC ON H PIANO.
Pupils received at any time. System thorough
and practical. Prices reasonable, and furnish
ed on application.
April - Is tt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

@-"I amt afraid o%flightning any more.
God sends the lightning, and God wouldn't
hurt me-; he only sends it to take away the
bad air" The little ones brother, who
was of a very practical turn of mind, and
who had seen trees and houses that had
been torn and bruised bylightning, shifted
at this declaration by his sister and re-
marked: II want you to understand that
God is pretty careless sometimes"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
PRAISE O OUR cUANo.

Every one who used my guano, pronounce it
the best they have used this year. AS nearly
every one used some other brand along side of
mine, I am obliged to think my guano the
best sold on this market last spring. Now
friends, as yon say my guano
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

NOTICE..

HOLD a great many Notes which fall due
l. on NOVEMBER 1ST, and I will need mon
ey then, so I respectfully ask all who have
been kind enough to patronize me to come
prOmptly and
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
GROCERIES.

NV stock of STAPLE AND FANCY GRO
CERIES is full. Also. Tobacco, Cigars, Boots
and Shoes, Hardware, &c. All of which is
offered low for Cash, or on time to responsible
parties. F. HAPPERFlELD.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

BILL NYE's FAvoRITE LITERATURE
In prose, I think I derive more comfort
from Herbert Spencer than any one else.
AS Mr.. Lincoln, during the dark n try
ing days of our great civil war, turned to
the light and joyous comments OF Petro-
leum V. Nasty, so l flee from my W
earnest and profound research to the dry,
crisp humor of Spencer, and more espe-
cially to that passage in which ne charac-
terizes evolution as "a change from an in
definite, incoherent homogeniety to adef-
mite, coherent heterogenity through con.
tinuors differentiations and integrations."
L never get tired of putting a damp towel
over my head and reading this passage, TOR
it enables me to forget everything else.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16

"WHERE's Your HIGH CALITY ?:"-Mr.
Lawrence Jerome stands alone in New
York .as q story teller and wit. He can
literally tell funny stories by the hour, ana
the regularity of his case Is that IL ooes
not matter in the least what company ne
is in, he is equally happy. He has been
known to amuse a party of ladies, crowd
of workmen and a club Of practiced wits
all in one day. AS for children, they think
no one understands how to please them so
we'll as he. He told a story at the Cham
berlin dinner of q dude running for Con-
gress in a down town district and saying
to a lot of 'longshoremen that ne had new
censed them to a strange degree. Low
cality? Low cality, is it?" said one Of
angry men,; "F'what dye name by in
sulting dacent people that way? If this
is a low cality, I'd like to know where
you'll find a high cality.-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
Has Made You a Good Crop,

come due. I have some on hand now that I
would like to sell to those needing it for wheat.
Please remember when you promised to pay
your notes and accounts. Very respectfully,
NJ. C.. WILLIS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-11-16
PAY their NOTES

IL oh 4NO LII ~ viz L VI siOSu AN
ey then, so I respectfully ask all who have
been kind enough to patronize me to come
promptly and
PAY their NOTES
When due and save trouble to us all. 1 also
have a great many accounts on my books that
are due right now. All having accounts with
me will come and settle them at once. and OBJ
lige.
Any one wanting
Carriages, Ph@tons, Buggies,
WAGONS or HARNESS, will do we'll by in
speeding my stock, which is second to none in
this country.
Goods can be bought of me now for cash
very cheap, as I have too large a stock. Wag-
ons continue to
co VERY FAST.
And I hope my customers will continue to
make my stock diminish.
I have on hand a good many RAILROAD
CARTS and HARNESS which are hand made
and strictly first class.
CONTRACTORS
Will do we'll to see my carts before buying an
inferior article far away from home at a larger
price than I ask.
The Washington critic., 1887-01-25
NOTES ANn uossir.

REV. llESRY WARD BEECnUR has been
elected an honorary member uf the Young
Mems Hebrew Association Of Brooklyn.
NINE. MISNIE IiAuK, who is sojourpIng
in Paris, will make professional tour
through Austria aud Germany In March.
Miss MARY Horror, who has just been
elected Lecordlng Clerk oi the Ohio state
Senate, Is Boston liighschool graduate.
The annual sale Of pews in the Brooklyn
Tabernacle took place last evening, the
total receipts being S32,0ll, a slight gain
over last year.
THE only female trolioone player in this
country is Miss Anna siegel who received
her musical education In the Vienna Con
servatory Of Music.
GENERAL WILLIAM T. SHERMAN, who
was made a Doctor OF Laws by Dartmouth
In 1869, is now in demand by the college
reunions, and has been invited TO attend
the banquet OF the Boston Alumni Associa-
tion Wednesday evening.
THERE was meeting in Chlckorlng Hall,
New York, last night, in the interest of II
new drive through Central Park for the
speeding of trottors, and It ia mentioned by
-
the audience were women
THE Chicago Van Zandts, including, OF
course tue addle.pated Miss Nina, who
wanted to marry the Anarchist Spies, have
always been considered queer lot. AS an
evidence Of which 1t is stated that they
Keep twelve pug dogs for the terrorizltlOn
Of the neighborhood In which they live.
TINNrD beef, which is English for canned
beef, is served to the English soldiers at Al
dershot TIE other dny when one Of the
''tinsn was opened "a wrll-scasoued brlar-
wood pipen was found imbclded In the
contents, from which It appears that they
don't always do these things better abroad,
you kuow.-lN Y, Tribune.
Mn. j. +. ScAMNoS gave to the Dearborn
Observatory at Chicago telescope that
cost is coo, and $0O,OOO WAS expended In
building foundation for it, yet so far as
the contributions Of this expensive piece OF
mtChauism to astronomical science are con-
cerned, the Chicago Mail says that the in
etrument has proved absolutely worthless.
With s,eulthy hand be strove to clip
One golden rInglet from her head.
"hh, dun't!'' Then with smiling lip,
"lhty are my sister JWc's,n she said.
--flIgrper's Editors Drawer.
The Washington critic., 1887-01-25
"RUDDFGORE." ("
The Scheme OF Gilbert and Sullivan's
Latest Opera.

Latest Opera.
"Ruddygore or, the Witch's Curae,n the
new opera by Gilbert and Sullivan, was pro-
duced in London on Saturday night for the
first time. A correspondent cables the fol-
lowing account of the production: at was
received with applause, laughter and
species OF reverence. Let 1t be said, however,
in spite Of the frat night volatility, that the
llbretto is dull. The music is tuneful aud the
dresses ard properties magnificent. 1t is in
two acts, like all the late Gilbertlan comiclli
lies, but 1t is not always comic. The first
scene takes place In pretty fishing village,
ana The second passes IN the picture gallery
# the RudiygOres, The story Is a burlesque
upon the class Of novels and plays dealing
with guilty. noblcmeu and family curses.
The bad barOnets of Ruldl gore live
under an ancestral curse which com
pels the head of the house to com
NIT crime every day, The bar
Opet, who lives about the time OF the
battle Of Waterloo, is anxious to get rid
Of the curse, and discovers bis elder brother
10 bashful youth at the lshlng village,
Then the bashful man Incomes tie birupet
and tries to commit bis or m S Ia the least
harmful way. He iorges Ill, own signature,
and so forth. The female churGs Is a string
VI IllANeAhAlAa NNhA Wv llhlf NlblAN 10 II
string of officers In scarlet uniforms OF the
time, aud very picturesque they are, too.
ln the second act the bad blrontt Is seated
In hs picture gallery. Around him on the
walls are the portraits uf hl. bad ancestors
two dozen of them. lie Is hoping
he will not he punished for doing
his crimes IN such q feeble way
when tie pictorial ancestors Begin to sing
aud finally come out Of their frames tD more
iierctly rcproach him. For an instant the
whole house is throTn iuto absolute dark
ness, the music stu continuing, conducted
by Sir Arthur sullivan, with ii baton illu-
mined ly electricity. These ancestors are
gorgcOuslg dressed in all the styles from
Norman William to George II, The wtch's
curse Is finally removed, and there Is an end
Of H. The successes Of the evening were
the hornpipe danced by Dnrward and sely,
the patter trio sung by Messrs. Grossmth
nnd Darlington aud Miss Jessie Bond, and
the dancing Of the two Mcthodists.n