The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1887-03-05

| blizzard or a tornado, they at once
| telegraph to the East big stories about
the phenomenal rise in real estate
| Boston Post.
"WHEN will you cease your love for
! me?" asks a poetess. Well, we don't
| know, dear, answers an exchange, but
if you wan to experiment appear in q
| toboggan costume.
"ATwbat age should man marry?"
| asked an old beau of a charming
young lady on whom he inflicted his
| company. She smiled sweetiy as she
replied: "Not in his dotage."
THERE was once a time when we
| wondered what the difference was be.
tween an alderman-at-large and =
plain, very-day alderman. We think
we perceive difference now.-Life.
A GENTLEMAN the other day asked q
friend noted for her ready wit:
What is the first aid to the injured ?"
Without hesitation she replied: can
apology, is it not ?"-BOst0n Post.
ga MICHIGAN woman recently kicked
a bear to DEATH" says an exchange.
This, however, was more humane than
| if she had tried to warm her feet
against the poor animals back.
"WREN you have LEISURE" said
caller to the Snake editor, ~ would
like TO speak to you" Leisure !" re-
piled the Snake editor, "what is
that ?"-Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
ANGEL darljng-"M where
did baby tome from?" Fond mother
Papa bought him in the market"
| A. D.-"Why did'n him div ten cents
more and dit one wifi hair on?" st.
Louis Chronicler.
THE New York correspondents some
times telegraph thrilling news to their
papers. Howard wired the Boston
| Globe a few nights ago: The moon
tonight is rs big as a cart-wheel. -
Pittsburg Chronicle.
| DAsHINGToN-"I saw the most won
derful thing at the theater last night.
A Hindoo juggler raised a mango tree
from nothing but the seed" Bilking
Pshaw! that's nothing, me boy.
My wife raises Cain every night from
less than that"
A VAssAR graduate out in the coun-
try went into the stable of a farm
| house. "Dear me, how close the poor
COWS are crowded together" she re-
marked. "Yes, ma'am, but We have
to do it." "Why so?" 'ro get con-
densed milk. ."-Analyst.
Brown (who is not overpartial
to soap and water r)-'I've got 3 lot
of real estate on my hands that I'd
like to get rid Of" Fogg-"Why don't
you try lye? II that doesn't do the
business perhaps you could take q
knife and scrape some OF it off,"
"WHEN a toboggan girl is in full
dress she appears all wool and yard
wide" says rural exchange. Oh, no;
that is when she has on her toboggan
rig; when she is in full dress she ap-
pears like that character OF Gilbert,
who was "all poetry and bosom y
| Springfield Republican.
"YoUNG man." he said in solemn
tones, "don't you know that if you
persist in drinking you will never get
| ahead in this world?" Wont get
ahead" repeated the young man.
"Why, my dear sir, your ignorance
surprises me. I'll have head on me
tomorrow morning as big as bar
rel"
IT IS now fashionable for young
ladies to be photographed in tobog-
gan suits. When q young man re-
ceived a photograph OF his girl ar
rayed in one of these outlandish rigs
he immediately broke Off his marriage
engagement. He said, blamed if he
was going to marry an Indian squaw.
-NOrristown Herald.
LITTLE DICK-"I want some paper
to make pictures on" Sister Nell
"You must not take that, Dick;
that's my letter paper, and I'll need
every bit OF it." "Haven't you any
thing else?" "Let's see-yes dear,
you can have this book" "What's
that figure s1SS7' mean?' cts my
old diary. ."-Omaha Herald.
BEWARE how you attempt to foist
your philosopnic chestnuts on people
Of certain turn OF mind. For in
stance, the other Jay when | observed,
with great learning and originality,
that the Bourbons had never learned
nor forgotten anything, a friend of
that kind replied: What does that
mean? How can you forget nothing
when you have learned nothing, and
what is the use of learning anything
when you have forgotten it ?''-Mon-
treai Gazette.
"WHEN we first returned from our
wedding tour and set up housekeep-
ing," said Butfalonian who some
months ago became a benedict, "my
wife would place her hand on my
shoulder when she saw me making
preparations to go down town, and IN
an appealing tone say: Don't be in a
hurry, dear; business is not pressing,
and | want to talk with you half an
hour longer Now she glances at the
clock the moment | draw back from
the breakfast table, and anxiously In
quires: Aren't you afraid you will
be late at the Office p"
SENATOR DAWES does not pose as a
| humorist, but his wit is keen at times.
During the boundary line controversy
| between Massachusetts, ana Rhode
| Island the subject came up at q adinner
table in Washington, and a Rhode
Island member Of Congress, waxing
| indignant over it, exclaimed to Mr..
Dawes "Dawes, it's a shame for
Massachusetts, to attempl to steal
part of Rhode Island q confounded
| shame" "Don't make so much fuss
about it," retorted Dawes. If we
should steal your whole state it would
only be petit larceny, and justice OF
the peace would have Jurisdiction. -
Boston Journal