Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-11-27
"OH, WILHELMINA, CONE BACK! 3"
Bill Nye Takes a Rev Tack In Solving the
Servant Girl Problem.
Blll I've I'M the New York World

Bill Nye in the New York World.
Personal-Will the young woman who
edited the gravy department and cor
rected proof at our pie foundry for two
days and then jumped the game on the
evening that we were to have our clergy
man to dine with US, please come back OF
write to 81 Park ROW saying where she
left the crackers and cheese.
Come back, Wilhelmins, and be our
little sunbeam once more. Come back
and cluster around our hearthstone at SO
much per cluster.
If you think best we will quit having
company at the house, especially people
who do not belong to your set.
We will also strive, Q so hard, to make
it pleesanter for you in every way. II
we had known four or five years ago that
children were offensive to you, it would
have been different. But it is TOO late
now. All we can do is to shut them up
in barn and feed them through d knot
hole. II they shrek loud enough to give
pain to your throbbing brow, let no one
know, and we will overcome any false
sentiment we may feel towards them and
send them to the Tombs.
Since you went away we can see how
wicked anu selfish we were and how little
we considered your comfort. We miss
your glad smile, also your Tennessee
marble cake and your slat pie. We have
learned valuable lesson since YOU went
away, and it is that the blame should not
have rested On one alone. It should
have been divided equally, leaving me to
besr half of it and my wife the other
half.
Where we erred was in dividing up the
blame on the basis of tenderioin steak or
peach cobbler, compelling you to bear half
Of it yourself. That will not work, Will
helmina. Blame and preserves do not
divide On the same basis. We are now
in favor of what may be called a sliding
scale. We think you will like this better.
We also made grave mistake in the
matter OF nights out. While Young I
formed the wicked and pernicious habit
OF having rights out myself. I painted
for the night air, and would go long
distance and stay out 6 long time to get
enough Of it for mess and then bring it |
home in paper bag, but 1 can see now
that it is time for me to remain indoors
md give young people like yourself q |
chance, Wilhelmina.
So If can do anything evenings while |
you are out that will assist you, such as
'toning raisins or nejghboring windows.
command me. I am no cook, of course.
'ut can peel apples or grind coffee, or
lold your head for you when you need
1 could also soon learn to do
he plain cooking, 1 think, and friends
Who come to see US after this have
greed to bring their dinners.
There is no reason why harmony should
lot be restored among Us and the old sun
Ight come back to our roof-tree.
Another thing I wish to write before I
lose this humiliatiDg personal. I wish
D take back my harsh and bitter words {
bout your singing said that you ssue
Ike shinglemill, but 1 was mad when .
said 1t and 1 wronged you. I was I
laddened by hunger, and YOU told me 1
lat mush and milk was the proper thing
y brain-worker and you refused to D.,
i've any dope on nay dumping. Coded
madness by this, l ssid that you sang
ke shingle-mill, but it was not nv
7tter, higher nature that spoke Il was
y grosser and more gastric nature that
'serted itself, snd 1 now desire to take
back. You do not sing like a shingle- r
ill-at least so much as to mislesd a
'actical ear.
Your voice has more volume, and when
'ur upper register is closed is melloWer
so any single mill ever heard.
Come back, Wilhelmina. We need you c.
cry hour. n
After you went away we tried to set the
esd as we had seen you do it, but it was z
t success. The next dsy it came OFF al
nest with litter of small, ssllow n
Us which would easily resist the action n
acids. 4
Il you cannot come back, VIII you Dc
'ese write and tell me how you are get p D
g along ard how you contrive TO insert nj
holes into homemade bread Fl