Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1887-10-08

AMI eEtE hbpbAA m bC bVoG VI
''RoUGE ON RATS.
"Sergeont, maybe you iaaow some
body who likes to buy me oudt 2"
said Mr.. Gunder as he entered the
the Genital Station with a down
trodden appearance.
"Oh It's you, is it 2" queried Ser
geant BendeI as he looked up. SCOT
into some fresh trouble, / suppose ?"
sergeant, j. ohas broke all cop. If
4 can sell opGt ] doan shtay here
two weeks.
"What's the occasion 2"
"Vhell, it makes me feel better if
1Aell you. Yos know / keep tele-
phone in my bisee; | keep him to
speak with my brewer und to some
aldefmans. Yesterday man who
Was as shlick ash grease comes in
und says vhas L Carl Dunder. |
vhas. All right Mr. Dunder, der
wires whas crossed und your tele-
phone doan' work. Sorry if you
vhas troubled, but | feex him right
off. ykal, he goes nit dot phone
and taps ON der box und takes down
der trumpet und says:
"sHello. central Hello! hello !!
hello! Yes! | vhas at Carl Dun
der's. Can you hear me now !?
Why of eouse if he likes to treat
me dot vhas all right. Nice oldt
mans, und doan you furget him !
Tell-all right, good pye !"
"Now, sergeant, | hat to ask him
to take glass of beer, doan' [? If
/ doan' / vhas no shentleman, eh 2"
go on"
"Vhell, aboudt two hours later a
second man came in. He vhas shlick,
too. Yhas | Carl Dunder / vhas.
All right. Mr.. Dunder, dot induc-
ton was SO strong we yhas in peck
of troubles. Let me see how your
telephone vhas. Und he goes oop
und knocks on der box and softly
says:
"Hello, Bill, vhas dot you? No.
Yes. Perhaps. Why, | vhas down
to Carl Dunder's place. | second
der motion. | can get two hooner-
ed votes for him for alderman.
Hasn't treated me yet, but he proba-
bly, will. Vhell, so long.
"Now, sergeant, | hat to set oop
der beer, doan' I? | feels tickled,
you know, and like to be shen-
tlemans."
II understand. What else? ?"
"Vhell, some more fellers come,
und | doan' suspect nopody until
Shake comes home. Den he says it
vhas an old chestnut, und dat vhas
soft in der headt Dot makes me
madt all oafer. Poorly queek some
pody ask Yhas | Carl Dunder? l
vhas All right. Say, Mr.. Dunder,
you ring on der telephone your
number doan' drop in der Office.
Please allow me. Und he goes oop
and rings und calls oudt
"Vhas dot you, Nellie :? Ali
dere, Nell !" Does dot number drop
down when l ring? Say, vhas you
going oop to der Flats next Soon
day? Guess where | vhas? Not
much You vhas way off. | vhas
down to Carl"
"Vhell, sergeant, dot vhas all I
could shtand. ! slump on dot Teller
und give him six weeks sickness"
Good! | honor your pluck"
sergeant, keep quiet. He doan'
go away oafer half an hour when my
telephone rings. Vhas l Carl Dun
der? I vhas. Dis vhas Superinten-
dent Shackson of der telephone. Mr..
Dunder, you hat almost killed one of
our regular repairers, und | like to
say to you dot it cost you more ash
four hoonored dollars "
"Nol"
"Dot vhas so. I doant shleep
two winks last night, und my wife
says it Will all come oudt dot vhas
McGarigle."
at was bad mistake"
"Vhell, vaht can | do? Shust
like | tells you, nobody vhas two
times alike. | vhas all der time
shaking NIT my boots, und Shake
vhas going into consumption. Ser
geant, if somepody arrests me let
him be soft and quiet. | vhas so
broke up dot | can't stand some
more grief Ifyou see Mr.. Shack
son tell him how it vhas. Tell him
dot | yhas all turned around in dis
country, und eafery time kick at
some dead-beats he proves to be q
shentlemans. Goodbye, sergeant
Maybe | take some Rough on Rats
und put an end to all dis grief"
The New York Sun of Sunday
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