The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-14
BRIGHT BITS.

PREcoCfoUs YouNGsTER in house where there
is telephone in constant use, finishing heI
prayer: and make me a good little girl
Amen! Goodbye, Oh Lord; o. K'-Ne,o York
Tribune.
PASTOR Thomas! Don't you think your pa
rents would feel very sore if they knew you
were fishing on the Sabbathy
ThomaS+Yes sir; but not half as sore as I'd
feel if they found it outJtsdJe
TENpERFoor- wonder what Buck, the Terror
viii do when he hears what Deacon Goode said
about him last night.
Westerner-Is Deacon Goode small man?
No, big man"
Buck won't do anything. ''-O Omaha World
LITTLE GIRL (at the opera for the first time)-
their feet?''
Mother-Don't ask so many questions
Little girl-Mamma, are they trying to catch
flies with their feet:
Mother-No: dudes-TeTdS Siftingc.
In a crowd somewhat like that at an old vir.
Elnla District Association preacher was Shak
ing hands and inviting all to feel at home, when
presently, he asked a white cravat brother:
Amt you preacher % He replied slowly and
hestatingly: mo, not exactly; but am a clerk
in family grocery, Richmond Religious
Herald.
EDTToR-I should think your reporters would
have sense enough not to fill up with beer before
writing such weather as this especially.
Local Editor-They don't touch anything
stronger l1lll iefIlOndue WQlIe on DUTY.
Nonsense The man who wrote this article
was as drunk Us a boiled OWL
THAT sir, is portion of the report of a dis
cuslon at the Concord School of Philosophy"
'Oh!''-OHtdhd World.
! PEOPLE who most relish gossip take very
different view of it wheig it is directed against
ones own reputation WHAT an extremely
candid person Mrs Higgins is, said Mrs. Rob
inson See how she exposed those Simkinses
and Wilknses."
Yes, : said Mrs JONES' but but if YOU could
have heard what she said about you yesterday -
About me?''
Yes about you well, never The idea
ot her talking about me- | won't believe an
other word she says. ''-Y Youths Companion.
ANXIOUS STRANGER-Say, want Job of UNI
piring the rest of the season.
Base Ball Magpate-Now, don't try to be fun
ny, young fellow,
lisa good thing for YOU because there amt
anything humorous abeut chestnuts any more. -
I'm in earnest about this thing, am"
''Oh, don't bother me-"
But see here; mean business"
Why young fellow, you don't know what
you're asking for. You don't know when you re
well off ="
''Oh, yes, do"
''What your racket, anyhow"
Why, want to get broke in little. I'm
going to be married this fall, and my girl $
mother will probably live with us Pittsbtyg
Dispatch.
WHEN street chaff is good-natured l find that
| always laugh. I used to ride ON the tops of
buses when visiting London largely to get a
flavor of it, and il our friend Mr.. Howels would
do so he would recognize that Dickens is life
itself in all minor matters and characters |
remember of being almost startled with a thrill
of recollection when heard a bus driver lean
over to drawl at an angry boy who was UNI
mercifuly beatinga most provoking little gray
donkey: "Ah, would he kill his fader-would
he kill his fader?" The boy was positively
SpenChpSS with ragre and in his sputtprinp on
deayorS to launch return shot actually staid his
whip. My amusement, however, was destined
to have a counterpoise. for five minutes later |
was getting a tremendous dressing down from
on the clean seat by his side. Neither my high
hat nor my djgnifed department saved me, and
| came to the conclusion that the drivers wit,
though sharp, lacked reverence. Boston Post