The Washington critic., 1887-02-18
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY.

Talks with n Claim Agent On PEN
sions, War. Gas, ana Cable Roads.
A commissioner of TIE Critic
hitched up to claim agent to-day In
front of a red counter at Willard's and
asked the C. a. If he favored the veto
Of the Dependent Pension bill.
mo, ! don't" said the virtuous
claim agent. "lIerc we have be- -,r
years trying 10 get another whack at
the Treasury, and just us fruition was
about TO fruish, along comes an eX'
sheriff from Buffalo and knocks our
hopes in the head. 1t Is an outrage
on us Washington gentlemen, who
have been the real friends of the sol.
dicr."
"Do the real soldiers, who fought for
three years or more, want to be placed
on the list of pauper PENSIONERS
"Well, that does not make any DIFF
ference. We claim agents have shown
to members of Congress, by q system of
organized correspondence, that 1t will
not be healthy for them to go back on
the soldier vote. And ] want 10 tell
you right here that the fellows at the
other end of the Avenue ate just as
anXions TO hang on to their 5000 a
year as we patriotic citizens are 10 cor
raj a modicum of the cash that may
come to the 'soger.
"Do you think Congress will pass the
bill over the veto of the ute Mayor"
II was at little game of draw last
night with few chips from the Con-
gressional block, and every time they
held 'threes' TO my pair the Pen
sion bill passed, and when the terrapin
and effervesccnce was ordered, | could
hear unanimous affirmative over the
late Governor s negative"
What will we do with the surplus"
LET the so,called lawyers and &c.
NAL, persuasive claim agents have a first
class chance at the Treasury, and my
word for it, you or this great and glo.
rious Government will not have any
surplus to speak of.
Your candor only exceeds your
Cheek
Thanks. am no hypocrite, and
only use soldiers and people with claims
for the grists that they bring 10 my
MILL"
What do you think of the Canadian
fishery question :"
Every real friend Of the Govern
ment wants war, and particularly
the spider claim agents, who can weave
around clerks, commissioners and sec.
retaries more fine.spun webs of logic
for lucre than you can shake stick
at"
II presume, II war should come on
the suggestion of John ingalls, and
Perry Belmont, you would be the first
to fly to the rescue of your country" "
"Yes; ! should at once make my
peace with the Secretary of War, find
New York clothing house and manip.
ulate contract in the interest of vir.
tue "
What do you think of the Cable
road 2"
II think there is money In 1t for the
incorporators, and the only objection
have, as n resident of Thirteenth
street, is, that l have none of the
chicken.pie."
"Of course, you believe in rapid
transit?"
"Yes, when 1t comes to getting my
claims through the Treasury"
What do you think of the gas qncs.
tom"
any bSitsouitii VIII 1ou
more about this than can. Yet at the
same time ! am candid in saying that
the PEOPLE of the District get the mean.
est gas for the largest price of any
other socalled citizens In America"
II think your head is horizontal on
that subject, no matter how perpendic.
ular 1t may be on the pauper pension
policy"
Are you in favor of the Memorial
Bridget"
Eyes. I'm In favor of broad gauge
structure, a flve.million dollar monu
ment TO the American soldier, where q
"Blue" and "Gray" warrior shall stand
on the end towers, shaking hands
across the Potomac, and thus showing
10 all that while we had family fuss,
we are now united, and If necessary can
thrash the whole world and the balance
Of mankind"
Did you hear something drop?"