The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-11-15
VARIETY.

If man could be divorced from
his creditors, how busy the Courts
would be kept.
| A public office is a public trust,
The official dog catcher at Erie is
being Investigated.
A young couple who proposed visit
ing the summit of Mt, Washington
registered as the Glen House as Two
for ascent"
1t is said of the poor whites of
North Carolina that when they move
all they have to do is to pour dip
| per of water on the fire and call the
dog,
Customer Ito Bakers Boyl: "Is
your bread nice and light, Sonny?"
Bakers Boy (conhdentallyl: "Yes,
Ma'am; it only weighs ten ounces to
the pound" "
DO you rectify mistakes here O.
asked q gentleman as he stepped into
8 drug store. Yes, sir, we DO. if the
patient is still alive" replied the ur-
bane clerk.
Eastern man: do you think that
Bacon wrote Shakespeare" Clncin-
natl Man: Il don't know as 1 ever
gave that thought, but Just see what
it has done for the city of Cincin-
natl"
A clergyman who married four
couples in one hour, the other eve
ming, remarked to a friend that it was
pretty fast work" Not very" re-
sponded the friend. Only four knots
an hour"
Indeed, it happened in less time
than / take to tell it," said the lady
who was considered somewhat of
bore. ''Oh, 1 haven't the least doubt
Of it, replied the patient and truth
ful listener.
Wife Ito second husband "Ah.
James. You are so different from my
first husband :" Husband" Yes,
that's SO. when you come down to the
fine point, He died four years ago.
aud l didn't"
Do you know what has become of
that relatiye Of yours who used to
work for me?' asked q gentleman of
labOrer No, yer honor. but if yez
Is anxious to see him oil write TO
him, and ak him to sind me his adj
driss."
Gurus bout me Mac-I can mem
bah de mos Insignificant ting dat
eber happened since l wah two yeah
ole. F'rinstance L say. Pone,
does yo' 'membah anything bout dat
ha't doIIah yo' borr'd ob me las
yeah?"
Out in Nebraska, where women
vote, man bet hat with MS wife on
the result Of an election She won.
When he got the bill for the hat it
was S35. Be careful how you bet
with the girls
Jones (who has been interrupted in
telling a long story by Smiths sud
den departure): BY the way, old
man, I have quite forgotten what I
was telling you the other day"
Smith gratefully - Thanks"
Smith, who Is afflicted with sore
throat, has asked his friend Brown to
examine it. Brown (peerIng down
Smiths throat: "On which side Is
the sore spot?n Smith speaking
with dificultyl -On the left side"
Brown: Coming up or going down?"
ANY one might have foreseen that
Buffalo Bill would be thu lion of
London. Every one knows that the
Princess of Wales Is the lamb of
English royalty. But who could have
predicted that the lion and the lamb
would ride together on the Deadwood
coach?
-MaBnin' Willyum; you dressed
up ike yo' g9ine to one OBJ desc yere
e0llyidge eommeneings. What degree
yo' gwine to take?" .Ef you doan
stop yo' talk I'll rec'mend you fo' de
degree what Jawge Jonsing died OBJ"
What's data" 'Dat's murder In de
fust degree"
In Tennessee it Is said that Is per
cent OF the American-born white
voters voted for the prOhibitory
amendment, while 50 per cent. Of the
eoIored voters opposed it. The ne
grOes seem TO have blended rum and
liberty In strangely bewildering
manner
Dangerous encroachments OF the
press" This is the only answer the
friends of Judge Ruger have to the
charges of partiality shown in Sharp's
case. This eounter-charge sort of
argument Is a sad confession of the
weakness Of Judge Ruger's position
Philadelphia North AmericdH.
The fashion Of serving different
wines with different courses has gone
completely out, except at great state
dinners After sherry with soup,
champagne appears. Nothing is
more unhealthy than to mix wines.
It Is as much as most digestions can
endure to follow sherry-ne7er a
wholesome Eine-Eith champagne.