Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1887-06-03
FRIDAY JUNE 8,
UNFORTUNATE NEWSPAPER MEN.

Itwould, undoubtedly, be mat
ter of considerable interest to
know where some newspaper men
came from and what was their call
ing before entering the field of
Journalism. A very slight investi-
cation shows that they were never
farmers, but there every clue is
lost and their origin remains a
mystery. Suddenly, however, they
find themselves in the possession
of a newpaper and grasp the faber
feeling that they are now on the
highway to prosperity and fame,
with nothing to do but loll in q
cushioned chair, while their pat
rons obsequiously approach them
and pour wealth into their laps.
Week after week they closely scan
their exchanges to see if any of
their wise sayings have been
copied. If they find that a few
lines have been copied they re-
copy them, together with any COM
ments that have been made, and
thus make nauseating that which
might otherwise have been palata-
BILE. As the close of the year ap-
proaches, when cash subscriptions
should be coming in by the hun
dred, and only an occasional pat
ron drops in and gives them half
dollar "just to keep the thing 60
ing" they become desperate. In
their desperation they sharpen
their fabers and open up the new
year with a scorching editorial,
by "grumbler,' scolding every
thing, and everybody who failed
to discover the value of their pa
pers as advertising mediums. and a
means of entertainment during
the long winter evenings. Some
times they accidentally learn that
anything to be ridiculous must be
the opposite of truth, consequent
ly, if their towns have excellent
natural drainage they make it ap-
pear that there is cesspool at
every corner, and deadly disease
breeding vaults on everylot. As
a large part of the country news
papers stock-in-trade, is the evil
it speaks of neighboring town,
this occasion is seized upon as a
propitious one, and their evil and
untruthful statements of the week
before, are copied into all the
newspapers, whose editors like
those described, put in their time
waiting for living to come to
them. These are again re-copied
with the comments till the patrons
of the papers are thoroughly dis
gusted and even the half dollar
'.just to keep the thing going" is
Withdrawn. If an important news
item has been overlooked by them
and appears in another paper of the
same place, and they are asked
why it was omitted, they reply: oh
that paper comes out a day later
than ours and its editor has
chance to clip from our news
columns, and they apologize the
the following week for its omis-
sion by claiming an over pressure
of work. If an important meas
ure is to come before the people
they say as little about it as pos
sible, for they are afraid to express
an opinion till they know the
popular side of the question.
After the measm e has been passed
upon by the people they hunt up
deformed roosters to put at the
head of their columns, and use
half column of head lines Growing
over the result, in fact, distort
themselves all out of shape in
their convulsive efforts to be joy-
full, while the street urchins make
sport of them, because they were
afraid to express an opinion in ad-
vance. Such newspapers usually
go in pairs, and the bond of attach
ment is about as close as that of
the Siamese twins. Their offices
are the nesting places of the trick
politicians. They are loud in
praises of their grand old parties.
So great is their pretended rever-
ence that fearful fraud may be
practiced under their very noses,
vaf tho only, fbino rooo,