Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-01-15
SALLY JONES AND l.
HOW WE. WERE BILKED OUT OF
A CHRISTM As DINNER.
A Mournful Story of Pioneer Life
in the Gold Mines of Cen
trel California.

For two years had subslsted principally
upon Chile beans, fapjacks and coffee, with
only an occasional bit Of fresh Spanish beef
thrown in as relish.
was strong and healthy then, full of
romance and enthusiasm, and blessed with
that voracious appetite which comes only
to vigorous youth, in the heyday of hfe's
beautiful morning, and at the period in
question yearned for one of those CASTRO
nomic miracles, New England Christmas
dinner.
But how should get il, or where in fact,
ANYTHING better than my regular rations or
the coming morrow AND thus ruminat-
ing, half asleep and half adream, memory
took me back, in fond remembrance, to the
dear sweet home ! had LETT but two years
and eight moi tbs b fore.
Suddenly | aWoke from my delightful
reverie, to find standing before me Lou and
Jake Walker, accompanied by their partner,
Jerry Whitehead.
Bloom. what were you dreaming about?
Wake up Tomorrow will be Christmas
Day, and we came over to give you deal
We want dinner, a good one, Il splendid
one, real sockdolager whisky straight to
start on, then oysters, soup, roast turkey,
the delicacies of the season TO boot, thrown
in as condiments. To come right down to
business, you must get it up, and we pro-
pose to pay literally for the job, and be-
sides, the cook is always counted, so your
dinner will cost you nothing, and mighty
good one it ought to be, as we propose to
pay you an ounce apiece"
Here was my chance, and l resolved to
take it, promising to be ready the next day
at P. NJ, with layout the very gods
would envy. | kept awake that night till
2 o'clock, planning my bill of fare, and
early next morning struck out for Burt's
store, where l laid in a supply OF canned
oysters, turkeys, chickens, sardines, raisins,
dried apples, cloves, cinnamon, beef and
suet and then, going over TO Jack Wor-
ley's borrowed all his wifes spare dishes,
spoons and knives and forks, ran around
TO Uncle Daniel Baxters and got gallon
of No. l Kentucky whisky, and al last
started home in high glee at the prospect of
a splendid dinner, after having spent just
S4S, or, as we used 10 say in those days,
three ounces. l calculated l mad suf-
ficiency of raw material Including the
whisky for five persons, and so concluded
to invite Sally Jones, the belle of Drytown
daughter of old Sam Jones, who hailed
from Buchanan township, Clay county,
Missouri, to come over and partake OF the
festivities of the occasion.
don't exactly know how ! came 10 in
Yite Sally, but the day before as | was 60
ing down the creek 10 wash my shirt, |
passed her mother, no was milking the old
mooley COW, aud wishing to say something
besides Good afternoon, Mrs. Jones" re-
marked that this was the way man had TO
do in California, wash his own shirt,
cook his own grub, mend his own pants,
and make his own bed"
"Why don't you get married, you young
fool, and have wife to do such work for
you ?" she replied as she picked ap her
milking stool, and was about to start for
the house. How could l find a wife in
this country ?" l said there are ten
thousand men to one woman here" not for
one moment thinking of Sally. " Oh, you
flax round, my son, and you won't have to
go far; you hear your Aunt Nancy Jones
of old Buchanan, Clay county, Missouri,
you do"
Then remembered how punctually Sally
had come over to my cabin every day at
noon to take her lesson upon the ACCORDION,
how we had sung duets together, and how
often had desired to have her stop TO din
ner, yet had not the heart to ask her to sit
down to Chile beans, Slapjacks and coffee
straight and 50 when Lon, Jake Walker
and Jerry Whitehead came IN that night
and proposed to pay me three ounces TO get
them up Christmas blowout. ! saw my
way clear to kill two birds with one stone,
and, going to sleep at o'clock, was soon
dreaming OF turkeys, chickens, mtnce and
pumpkin pies, and that paragon OF beauty,
Sally Jones, the dear little sweet little
belle of Drytown, Amador county, and
pride of every miner within & radius Of
fifty miles
On my way back called at the old peo-
pies cabin, and finding Mrs. Jones within,
asked if Sally could go over and have din
ner with me, telling her what ! was going
TO prepare, and how the two Walker
brothers and Jerry Whitehead were going
to foot the bill, and that all I wanted to fill
my cup of happiness 10 the brim was to
have Sally go along and share the profits.
= Why to be sure she can go. poor child.
Do YOU know that critter never ate Christ
mas dinner in all her life, and come to
think II over. why not take her now to sort
of help you out? She Is right smart
chance of q cook, she IS, and some day or
other viii make some man o right pert
little wife Here, Sally, my child, put on
your sun-bonnet and help Bloom pack
over those do-goods, and when you get
there, pick the raisins, chop. the
meat, set some salt rising, and make
him a pone of bread that you can
bake in his little Dutch oven. Sweep the
cabin, do up his bed, and set things to
rights generally, and don't touch that ac-
cordeon till dinner is over; and now git up
and lit, both of you, for there is no time 10
lose; and you Sally, be sure and make the
place look cheerful
In less than no time we were on our
wav, but as bad luck would have it, had to
pass Whitehead's cabin. He saw US, peep
- l. 81, l.
parlance smelt a rat, and hastily going
over to Jake and Ions told them my
whole plan, which he understood as well
as though l had told him.
To make loug story short, Sally and l
got up splendid dinner, and at precisely
Or. NJ I unhung my door, to use for a
table standing it upon two empty whisky
barrels, while she ran over home and took
off one of the flour-sack sheets Of her bed,
from which to improvise table cloth.
The door was short and narrow, and
when we got it set, and the guests had ar
rived, there was only room for three TO sit
down, and so Sally waited upon them,
while | dished UP and did the carving
First, the whisky went the way of all the
earth for men could drink in those days
Then followed the oyster soup, sardines
and chicken The three cans of turkey
stood the test just five minutes by the
little detached lever watch that Sally had
brought all the way across the plains, that
same year; and in five more but I quarter
of mince pie out of six remained.
The pone of salt rising bread stood up
calamity. but finally had to go, and soon
after, when not g crumb remained, the
three hungry devils declared they had bar
gained for a square meal, and simultane-
ously bringing their brawny fists down on
the cabin door, swore by all the gods of
war they were bound to have one; that
had taken the contract and must give them
satisfaction or fight, no matter at what
cost.
The whisky had made them wild, and 1
had no alternative but to send Sally down
to Busts for another invoice while l my
self struck out for the chaparral 10 gather
sufficient fuel to cook the Second course.
Bye o'clock all was again in readiness,
and our tormentors, after having swept
1I,o 4ohla claao and r1inpd Sally's fOur-