The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-07-28
THE LADY AGENT.
A REPORTER JOTS DOWN WHAT
SHE HAS TO SAY.
World Does Not Appreciated Case of
Counter Bufi.-In an Emergency.


Counter Blun'-In an Emergency.
There is a lady at the door. Show her into
the parlor. No, stop. Shut the door in hei
face. She Is nothing but an agent. Never
let an agent inside the house. Agents are 50
cheeky. They are so persistent. They can
talk an arm off in less than fifteen minutes.
Is there no protection for us8 We can man
age to keep the wolf from our door but we
are powerless TO resist the book agent Give
her bluff. Invite her to close the door from
the outside.
And now hear what the lady agent has To
say for herself
Do you think l came from the Cannibal
islands, Do you think l am going about like
a roaring lion, seeking who | may devour2 II
this is the cause of all your terror, let your
minds be disabused, for l am simply trying to
make living, same as other people. We are
very useful class of citizens, but the world
does not appreciate us.
Our business is about as certain as a Louis
lana lottery. Sometimes we make great win
nings, and sometimes we lose. We are apt to
make any amount from ten cents to 500 per
week; but we generally keep nearer the ten
cent line. Sometimes we meet very pleasant
people. Sometimes we meet very unpleasant
people. Sometimes the game is bluG Some
times counter bluff.
THE SEWING MACHINE.
Let me explain. Once when was canvass
ing for sewing machines rang the bell of
house on Mount Auburn, and instead of the
door being opened by a servant, as was usu-
ally the case, it was a gentleman who an
swered my summons and whom l quickly de-
Cided TO be lord and master.
Ny business was soliciting orders for ma
chimes, to be sent on trial. l carried nothing
with me but a little hand satche within
which was concealed the give away note book
and pencil, and the servants who opened the
door for me generally took me to be one of a
church fair committee, I guess: but l never
would tell them my business l would always
insist upon seeing the lady herself However,
upon the day in question, when the gentleman
met me at the door, was informed that the
wife had gone down into the city, and would
not be home until quite late. So there was
no hope of seeing her, and just then some evil
spirit whispered IN my ear, Tell the husband,
perhaps he viii surprise his wife by having a
machine sent in" So | launched forth in my
most eloquent strain, but when 1 came to the
place where he should have Clipped in and
said, Certainly, send it right along | de-
tected a vicious smile playing around the cor
ners Of his mouth, and / knew that indicated
a bluff, and braced myself TO receive il.
He said: We'll, of course, you can send
the machine, but l viii have to charge you
storage
Certainly" said I, ''we would not expect
anything else. We always pay storage. How
much do you charger
He began to look puzzled, but answered:
a dollar a week"
Thank you said /, warmly. Consider
ing the excellency Of our machine, your
charges are quite reasonable
Then, taking out my book and pencil, /
!
what is your name, please, when viii you
have it sent:"
HE ONLY STARED.
But be only stared at me for the space of
half a minute, as though wondering if they
had missed me yet at the lunatic asylum, and
then expressed himself emphaticauy. He
said
"You surely are not fool enough to do such
a thing as that"
That is our way Of doing business, =" con
fdently answered, then added: ooh, yes, here
is your name on the door plate Thank you.
The machine win be sent in a day or two, aud
am sure your wife win be pleased with it.
Thank you, thank you and good day sir -
And 80 I left him battling with conflicting
emotions and searching through his vocabu-
larry in vain for something appropriate to
say. I expect he is looking for that machine
yet. That is what is known among the fra
teTnity as a clear case of counter bluff
It always has a better effect to ask to see
nay lady personally, and to do this we must
by some means learn her name. The door
plates are generally pretty reliable, but some
times they play US the neanest kind Of tricks
One day 1 called at a house and asked to
see Mrs. So and 50, taking the name from the I
door plate. The servant looked at me In
blank establishment and said "Why. she ia .
dead"
Of course, to be equal to the emergency, [ /
asked, with all the surprise and sorrow in my /
voice that I could command on such short /
notice, why, is it possibie} When did shs /
deg
About three years ago" was the answer.
Since then have never placed much conf 7.
1ence in door plates.
Yes indeed. we are q very useful class Of /
citizens, and not bad behaved If people would +
only treat us we'll
There is a large number Of women engaged /
In this work, and most of us work ON com /
mission, and can put in whatever hours suit
rs best.-Cincinnati Enquirer