News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-06-30

lnuO the car ahead With your child, as
mine hes the whooping cough. -
''Ohl has it? Thanks for your kind
ness; but mine is all over the whOoping
cough and is now coming down with the
measles. Perhaps you had better go
into the car behindl"- l"-Detr0H Free Press.
SHARP BOY.
Tommy, walking with his father, saw
him give a beggar five cents, and in
quired into the matter:
"What did you give that man five
cents for, papaf'' asked Tommy.
$50 that he might eat bread, my boy"
said the father
That evening, at the supper table, it
was observed that Tommy declined to
eat bread in any shape.
"Aren't you eating bread nowadays,
my boy e. his mother asked.
"No, mamma"
"Why notl"
$50 papa'n give me five cents. -
Youths Companion.
BLIND BASEBALL PLAYERS.
Eastern papers contain accounts of
two baseball mines, each composed of
inmates of the Dakota Blind Asylum,
which play regular games. And this
isn't the worst of it. The other day
during the course Of game they felt all
over the ground till they found the UNI
pire, who was also blind, and then
pounded him with q raised letter bat till
he couldn't walk. They claimed he
yelled 'foul" when jay-bird flew past
and while the ball was down a gopher
hole and they didn't know where it was
themselves. BcI.
ALL NEW.
A baby sister has lately come to
Boston household. The children, hear
ing that the baby was to be called after
a friend of the family whom they have
always heard addressed as Miss Agnes,
give the title to the baby.
''What is the name of your baby sis
ter2" asked lady ON the street car.
"Her name is Miss Agnes, " said Jack,
gravely.
''And how old is she2" the lady went
on.
"Oh, she isn't any old; she is all new.
Don't you know about babiesl"
so NICE.
Col Yerger returned home very late
and in demoralized condition. "Here
you are again, said Mrs. Yergar, as she
met him at the head of the stairs. "Yesh,
my dear, here am, replied the Colonel
meekly. "You are brute. Here it is
II o'clock. 1t will he almost daylight
before get through telling you what l
think of you. have to lose my sleep
ON your account and feel bad al day to-
morrow. "-I'eras SJtings.
ABOVE HER.
"How about this young man that
comes so often to see you, Milliel" said
the old gentleman to his daughter.
"Why, he's very nice and entertain
ing, pnpa I'd like to have you meet
him."
every likely. But what is his posi-
ton? Does he stand high in society ?"
"Oh, yes indeed, papa. He is six
feet two. "-Nerchant IraoeIIer.
THE TROUBLE.
"What's the trouble 1Uw2'' asked q
nervous passenger on a new Dakota
road, as the train came to a sudden halt
"Oh, nothin' much, said the brake
man, struggling to get away, "the
freight ahead of us got off the track and
run INTO the depot, knockln' 1T clear out
O time, and our engineer can't tell just
where the town-site is. "--DdkOtd Bell.
THAT UMBRELLA.
If the gentleman who, without per
borrowed q silk umbrella, silver
handle, from the editorial room of the |
Register Wednesday evening, will kindly |
return it, he will not be bothered with |
o,,octioDC o,,I ba will NO oSo,,ro1 tbat |
his name will be kept out of the paper
in future when he gets into trouble with
the police.-Ne1o Haoen Register.
OUT WEST.
The way they talk out West
First Speaker-Let me see, Uncle
Billy; you're the Oldest inhabitant i'll
Yeastville, amt ye2
Second Ditto-Me the oldest inhab
tant Oh, no. What put that idea i'll
your head? There's old Ferguson, who's