The Irish standard., 1887-10-22
HE KNEW 1T ALL.
An Individual whose Demise Did Not Call
Forth Many Tears.

there is at least one man whom shall
never forget. He was genial gentle
man, liberal to fault, and crowded with
vitality I esteemed him highly, and
yet can not say that was sorry when
[ heard of his death. Indeed, 1 think
that death has improved him; it has
done good thing for him. [ am sure
it has for me.
The fact is, he knew SO much about
every thing i'll which nobody but him
self could by any possibility take the
smallest interest, and he was so ready
at all times to empty his store Of use
less information into ones ear, that he
was a terror to meet and to be with
q nightmare So when he departed
this life, and / reflected that never
again should I be compelled to listen
to his inane eloquence. Wiped my
tears away, and, if [ remember rightly,
even succeeded in calling up a smile.
Robinson-for that wasn't his name
could and would talk for hours upon
any thing, no matter what, provided it
were some thing no person in his right
mind could care any thing about; and
he made no distinction Of persons. He
was free aud atfable to all, the humble
alike will, the rich and great. He was
as liberal with his diversified galrulity
to the day laborer as to the merchant
prince, or as he would have been to the
Queen of Great Britain Or the King Of
the Cannibal islands, had it been the
misfortune of either Of those potentates
to fall into his company.
It WAS surprising, the many things
he knew. He could tell yon, and did
tell YOU. thousand and one things in
fifteen minutes that you were thankful
to Providence you were able to forget
IN fifteen seconds; FOR though he lived
and prosperet] upon his c:si'nivcrous
diet. the food which he dealt out SO
generously must have given his guest q
mental dyspepsia if nature had not re-
volte,i and forthwith expelled it,
He knew, for instance the name OF
evcry engine-tEriyer, fireman and
brakeman upon each Of the several
railway lines entering Che city: he could
inform you where ea"l; one Of them
purchased his overa|la and where he
bought his tobacco. Nly, he would
tell you the grade OF cloth Of which the
aforementioned ovcralls were made,
the name of the mills where that cloth
was woven and the name of the man
who cut them out and the name of the
woman who sewed them together. He
knew how many buttons were upon
each pair, aud whether the overalls
were suspended from The wearer's
shoulders or igirted about his waist. He
was acquainted with each man $ favor
ite brand of tobacco, and would inform
YOU with due impressiveness that thi:
one affected cigars, that that one took
cigar OF pipe with engaging impair
tiality, that another devoted his ener-
gies exclusively to the seductive pipe,
and that still another abstained from
all igneous dissipation, and confined
his efforts in the tobacco line to 11asti>
cation
Robinson could, i'll short, tell you
any thing you aid.not want to know
about the personal and material inn
oedimenta of the railroads, Jl,e time
to q minute when any given train was
due at a cross road, 81 deep cut or high
fill. He knew when each engine was
last painted, together with the name
and characteristics Of the man who
held the brush, and he knew to a Ger
taiuty just how many ties there were
between that clu1np Of trees over there
to the semaphore just beyond the red
bridge.
But it was not upon railroads alone
that he could talk with eloquent
1ninuteness. He was equally CONVEX
SAINT with the number OF shingles that
covered the roof of yonder dwelling
house, with the date upon which
Spriggins built his hennery, and with
the Identical words which Mrs. E.
uttered when EnderEy Joined the
Masons.
And so about every thing. He was
mine of useless information, and he
never wearied in exposing his treasures
to all colners Indeed, he did not
wait for coners. He WAS always seek
ing ont new ears into which to pour his
diversified knowledge. He even went
so far as to buy q stylish team for the
sole purpose Of carrying said ears about
with him. 1t was his pleasure to invite
somebody, no matter who, into his car
riage, and then to deluge his guest
with ceaseless talk made up Of accurate
information upon the unconsidered
triAes of busy world.
He would pay for your dinner gladly,
so that it gave him the opportunity of
filing your ears while YOU filled your
stomach. His house was at your service
at any time, your auditory nerves being
at his service meantime, and he never
was in SO great a hurry that he would
not give you an hour of his time and
quantat'n suficit Of his useless informa-
tion.
Well, well, he is gone, and he has
carried his information with him.
II