The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1887-07-30
AN HORTICULTURAL" COLLEGE.
A Humorous Description of. a Visit
Thereto.

We had the pleasure, one day
this week, says the Dakota Rell, OF
visiting the territorial agricultural
college at Brookings. We found
the president of the institution care
fully examining a haxseed with II
microscope under the impression
that it was a chinch-bug playing
'possum" on him. He grasped our
hand warmly and invited us out to
the experimental farm.
"The force of students at work is
hardly so large as usual explained
the president, "owing TO the fact
that | have several of them locked
up in the cellar for refusing to work
at digging the great holes necessary
to plant the pumpkins. | reasoned
like this: If they objected now,
what would they do next fall whel.
it became necessary to dig the
pumpkins, with perhaps fifteen or
twenty in a hill?"
We assured him that in our
opinion he was perfectly justified
IN the course he had taken.
81 must also apologize for the
oat crop" continued the psesident
as we came to a barren patch Of
ground, "as | fear | was greatly
imposed upon by an unprincipled
scoundrel, who sold me two quarts
of new variety of oats, which he
claimed would yield $50 bushels to
the acre. | was accordingly very
glad to take them at s. quart.
The leading boot and shoe dealer
of our city has examined the ground
and claims that he can find moth
ing planted but cheap variety of
white birch shoe pegs. | am
graduate of two Eastern colleges
and hold the degree of master of
agriculture and can scarcely believe
that any one would dare to impose
upon me in that way"
We went on and examined the
whole experimental farm and have
scarcely passed day combining
more instruction and pleasure.
1t was interesting to watch the
professor of stock raising giving
class of about twenty practical
illustration of teaching a spotted
calf to drink without swearing.
1t was the professor and not the
calf that was supposed to refrain
from the use of profanity.
We were very much interested in
watching the professor back the
calf up in a corner of the yard and
then take both hands and groan and
shove the subjects head down into
a pail of milk And later when the
calf bunted the bottom out of the
pail and put one fore leg and his
head through the slaves and went
snorting and believing around that
yard on three legs, bunting the pro-
fessor at every step, it actually
grew exciting.
Pretty soon the hoops broke and
the calf got on all four feet and
bunted the professor through the
barbed-wire fence, and would have
cleaned out the whole class if the
experimental hired man, who never
went to school in his life, hadn't
come along and stopped him.
And when the professor went
through the fence he used a big
zigzag word with sharp corners on
it, seldom or never encountered in
educational works. He admitted
that the lecture was a failure.
After he and his class had gone
up to the college the hired man, in
stating his opinion of experimental
farming used some of this class of
words till they were worn quite
smooth and presentable.
A few moments i'm the recitation
corral of the professor of swineolo-
gy also afforded food for reflection.
The lesson of the day was Glow
to Induce Pig to Go Back Through
the Same Hole in the Fence that
he Came Out Of"
They did not induce him.
But they tried.
"Hi there, you little slippery
cuss !" shouted the boy at the head
of the class.
"Shoo, shoe, that's good piggy !"
said one of the young lady students,
as she shook her apron at him.
"Take that, you measly shoat y
howled the red-headed boy at the
foot of the class, as he threw the
textbook at the animal.
"Head him off, there, head him
off," wildly yelled the professor.
who was sitting on the gate.
Just then the pig began to squeal,
and the young lady students all
climbed the fence, while the boys
got red in the face and began look
ing around for pitchforks, and the
pig shot through under the gate,
raising it up and throwing the pro-
fessOr over into the watering-trOugh.
When he got out he told the class
to take the same lesson again and