Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-02-04
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

Inc ldJeSl - lie Ill lalleS IuIl OfeSS cos
tunes resembles Il belt and a pair of sus-
penders.
Laugh, and the world laughs with
you" says Ella Wheeler Wilcox Yes,
and sit down on the ice, and the world
/ laughs AZ you.
Washington Irving Bishop is such a
success in finding hidden articles that We
should think he would try his hand on
Charlie Ross
A Raymond, NJ, boy hitched his sled to
the rear car of passenger train, to take Il
ride. The boy has been discovered in a
snow bank, but the sled is supposed to be
going yet.
The cost of the cigars and whisky of the
average man would buy his wife a $500
seal skin sack, but it don't.
The inaugural of Tennessee's new dem
ocratc governor, Bob" Taylor was Just
half a column long, and yet they say that
Bob strained himself so badly that it
makes HIM deadly pale to see bottle of
| ink.
A French Hindoo at Pondicherry, In
dia has been gazetted member of the
Legion of Honor His name is Chane-
can pronounce it will be gazetteu too.
One line in James Russell Lowell's
poem in the February Atlantic reads rs
follows:
whence WHITTIER Wherefore
How Which Why" Answers to
these cOuundrums must be in before
April first, in order to compete for the
prize.
Mrs. Langtry no longer draws large
houses nor large salaries-nor dudes.
The proprietor of western journal has
invented some cheap, slow d costing cou-
centrated pills. one of which satisfies
hunger for ten days. No one but a news
paper man would have thought of such
thing. Necessity is the mother of inven
ton.
The January thaw lost its grip, and has
been back looking for it.
Every writer should absorb his sub
iect," says an exchange. This applies to
everything but the liquor question.
A woman has been elected recording
clerk of the Ohio State Senate. Fortu
nately, 1t is body that doesn't go into
secret sessions.
A new story is out entitled, "A Hidden
Terror" We always thought some travel
Ter would get around to write novel on
the bed bug
A foreign lord and his coachman have
been bitten by tame fox, and have post
ed off to Paris and Pasteur. The practice
of claiming up foxes for sport has received
something of a set back.
We hope that the little unpleasantness
between Canada and the United States
Will not prevent Il free exchange of car
nival courteses.
Small boy II picked up dollar in the
road to-day, pa"
Fond father And you restored it to
the owner, l suppose -
Small boy YES, sir
Father: That's good, honest boy"
Boy conscience stricken: well, pa,
you see, couldn't very well help it, The
man had me by the ear"
His Royal Highness Washing
ton misunderstanding Gossip
First lady-"Yes, I've tried three differ
ent sewing machines in the past six
months"
second lady-"what pests these sewing
machine agents are, amt they ~
First lady-"Pests Why, if it wasn't
for them | should have had to buy a ma
chine ten years ago "'-NClr H0rCn Ne,cS.
1t is the empty heart that aches. The
head is ditterent-NeC orleans Plea
yItHe.
1t is only after she becomes a ceuten-
allap that woman is willing to own up
to her age. Boston Post
advertising always pays to be sure,
but we are sorry to say that advertising is
not always paid for.-LOlceU Citizen.
well, that's just like the cheek of
these foreign artists observed Mrs
Snaggs What is ~ asked her husband
why, that man Munkacsy is coming
back here next summer to paint Niagara
Falls, and believe he'll Just spoil them,
SO do. PittSburg Chronicle
A medical journal says going to bed on
an empty stomach is a good way to invite
sleeplessnes3." Another medical author
ity says that "eating just before retiring
prevents sleep" The only alternative
seems to be, If a man wishes to get
nights sleep to go to bed without his
stomach. NOrriStolUn Herald
Two friends in a car were speaking of a
brilliant wedding which had taken place
at Judge Bogsley' the night before, when
one of them SAID, Il had an invitation,
but did not avail myself of it, | regret
now that did not 90" man who had
taken no part in the conversation re-
marked, II attended wedding at the
judges once, and regret that | did go"
Were you not treated well ?" ION,
yes why, then, do you regret having
gone p Because, on the occasion, |
married one of the judges daughters
Hrk0nSdU TrdrCIler
Matthew's mi