The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-06-04
A NASAL NOCTURNE.
How 1t Created Discord in Two
Loving Hearts.

When the matronly but still attrac-
tive widow Winchester decided to give
her hand and the remnant of her heart
into the keeping of the much admired
and sought-after widower Browne, it
was after an exhaustive examination of
all that pro and con could offer. Pro
came out ahead by large majority.
No children, tidy property, good
looks, good health, good nature, and
very elegant manners-what more
could reasonable woman ask for?
And yet there was another point
which the lady would have given a
great deal to have had settled; for, af-
ter ALL upon this point everything else
revolved. Did Mr.. Browne snore? If
he did, then what were all the apparent
elegancies of manner, and charms of
disposition? To her, the veriest rubbish;
because the person who could be guilty
of such a practice must be natural
ly and irredeemably coarse and vulgar.
Mrs. Winchester believed that this con-
clusion was reached not only by strict
ly logical process, but, better still, by
the result of actual experience. The
cook who saorcd never stayed the sec
ond night in the widows house after
the damaging fact was truly establish
ed. Mrs. Winchester might have been
idiosyncratic, but she was just, and the
cooks offense had never been known to
be charged upon the waitress. This
lady had once sent away most accom-
plished trained nurse during critical
illness, for this ineXcusable habit, and
the woman, thus ANONYMOUSLY ex-
PEELED, despised herself ever afterward
for not having had the courage to say
TO her patient that her own accomplish
ment in this respect could not well be
surpassed. More than one of Mrs.
Winchester's friends, anxious to pre-
serve this lady esteem, had kept awake
all night when invited to share hel
pretty room, rather than run the slight.
est risk of forfeiting her friendship; and
their testimony, in each case, was di.
rect confederation of the nurses, in
reference to the tuneful character o.
Mrs. Winchester's respiratory organs
But the widow bpeD that she never
snored She might not boast to Others
of her innate delicacy and exquisite re
fnement, her dainty bric-a-brac nature
but had she not long ago laid down al
adamantine proposition that such gilt
edged organizations could not snore?
The signs were all hopeful abou
widower Browne, she told herself
His shoulders were broad, and his well
shaped head was poised upon them lik
the Apollo of the Vatican. His nos
was straight and patrician, like he
own, and so could not possibly act as
pipe for the communication of start
ling and disgusting sounds. Mr.. Win
chester had snored, and Mr.. Winches
ter, though exceptionally refined i
appearance, had also sworn, and onl,
few days after the nuptial knot wa
tied; and Mr.. Winches er had ais
Clipped off some very substantia
chunks from his wife's brick of for
tune. More logic, more analogy, NOR
living experience. The reverse of tn
proposition, that the man who swor,
would certainly snore, was, according
10 the widows reasoning, equally true
But something must be risked, an
the comely widow, taking her own nos
as the proper pattern of what a higl
toned, properly conducted nose' by nigh
as we'll as by day, should be, final
accepted her ardent admirer. Once c
twice Mrs. Winchester had been alno.
tempted to express the keeness OF M