Crystal River current., 1887-08-27
NIB. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY MRS. BOwSER.

manner, but ended with the declara-
!, ton:
See here Mrs. Bowser, this Is all
nonsense! We are one. What be-
longs to me belongs to you. This
giving you a certa sum of money
every week makes il appear as if you
were servant. When you want
money take it out of my wallet. If you
can't find the wallet: just mention the
sum that you WANT
But, Mr.. Bowser, l."
No butts about it You we're going
to say you hated to be obliged to ask
for money!, your own husband
When wife gets as sensitive as that she
should be obliged to go barefooted for
three months in winter! ~
let the matter drop for few days,
but one day when l wanted dollar
to buy some notions l went to Mr..
| Bowser's coat. which was hanging on
, the hall-tree for the moment, and took
out the family wallet. No, l didn't
| either. 1t wasn't there. 1 decided to
wait awhile, and that night when Mr..
| Bowser was sound asleep and blowing
his fog horn, got up to look for his
wallet, 1t couldn't be found. All the
money he had about him was one poor,
Lonesome nickel. l was wondering
whether half of it belonged to me
or not, when the fog-horn ceased to
foot and Mr.. Bowser rose up in bed and
| shouted:
"What in blankety blazes are you
doing with my clothesp"
81 wanted the family walletn'
'Oh! you did! You get up at mid
| night to rob your husband, do youp'
But half the money is mine"
Mrs. Bowser, you drop that coat
| and jump into this bed AS quick as
Heaven will let you. and if ever catch
you tt, ing to rob me again I'll apply
for a divorce within an hourr'
When he thought | was asleep he
slipped out of bed and took the wallet
from under the dresser. where he had
carefully hidden it. and inspect the
contents to see if anything was gone
had firmly made mp my mind never
to ask him for a cent. but next day he
seemed so good natured that l ventured
to say:
"1here are several little things l
badly need, and as L am going down
town this afternoon I'd better buy
them"
Certainly; my love. Will five do9'
"Ob, yes"
"All right-here it is If five isn't
enough take ten"
I took five and was Just making out
list of articles which l proposed to
buy when Mr.. Bowser came in with a
bill in his hand and sad:
Here's the shade tree man after his
pay. You may give me that five and
I'll give you three silver dollars"
An hour later he sent up dollars
worth of Strawberries accompanied by
note asking ME to pay for them. and
so got down town with only two dol
lars in my pocket. l made them go as
far as possible, and was rather proud
of my purchases when l get home. l
had them spread out on the table in the
sittin@-room when Mr.. Bowser come
rushing in with:
''Say! that colored man is through
cleaning up the alley, and l can't make
change with HIM. Haven't you got
dollar and half Of that money?'
"Wk. nor
Nor n dollar?'
II haven't a penny left"
"What! Squandcred every cent of
that money! That's just as expected!
l was told when married you that I'd
bring up in the poor house inside of
ten years, an | begin to believe it was
a true prediction!'
''But, Mr.. Bowser, you only gave
me two dol"
He was gone before l had finished
the sentence, and during all the eve
ming he hadn't word to say. /
think he felt conscience-stricken how
ever, for next day he said:
Mrs Bowser, you have the look of
child, and you don't know the vii
lainy of this world any more than a
child seven years old. What oject to
is the way these dry goods clerks swim
die you. They take every advantage
of your greeness, and when they cheat
you they rob me-
But have / been cheated?'
'Have you! What did you ever buy
that you were not cheated? Mrs.
Bowser. you are no more tit to walk
into a dry goods store with $40 bill
in your purse than our old cat is to
Judge of lawn-mower! After this l
will! do the buying. Is anything need
ed just nowp"
"Why, baby ought to have some
| new dresses, and we need some table,
linen"
Every well; I'll see to it."
l knew about what would happen.
He slipped off early next morning. and
was home by 10 o'clock with back
load of dry goods.
dresses for the baby, The observed. as
he united the package. What do you
think OF this-and this-and this? Got
ten per cent off on each pattern and 1
saw to it that the measure was full"
He held up seven yards Of alpaca, a
pattern OF green worsted. a third in
striped summer silk, fourth in second
mourning calico, the fifth and last in
satin, which was us stiff as Brussels
carpet.
'Mr. Bowser, what on earth have
you-H
''And here's stockings for him-red.
white. blue, green, orange, terra-cotta
and black. l don't propose that any
Youn0 un of mine shall 90 harefnat.n