Telegram-herald., 1887-09-29
rHosE THEOLOGICAL MUDDLEs.
some Agasssic Talk Aasst the Discuss.
isas OF the Dag.

t0Aao Aarut tao hts2Arf
isns OF the Dsy.
10 tns Edlier 5fths fxlEszAA.HsaAID.
YoaF lournai has siwsys accorded fair
hearing OF paslic questions and upon ali
sides This aas been = noble aad gsnsroas
feature Of youF journalism. aud andoabsed-
y a. nuss great oatEags apoa your edl-
toEiA convlcgions
Shall i inrude upon your columns by
volunteering some OF hand suggestions as
70 the theological problems already largely
discussed in the TEiEsksM-HKRALb,
II not. allow me 70 say. nluntly. that the
whole debate ss to this Advent business
seems ist least u one ususlly charitable
outside. about - transparent as a decoc-
ton of hydr4nt water and ordinary mud
Ia al ifanxness let me ask. Has not the
general public OutgroWn these antiquated.
dOgnaiic wFanxles over dosmss aud doc
tfiues that ought TO have been kept oct OF
Noah's ARK a. the time OF the fio0ds
CFee,is and lsms mostly as Wild and ic-
rational as AunckAasen's travels or fairy
tales and entertainments with the Arabian
knights. have become a. thick as locusls ia
the sand o. Egypt. and about As profitable
% mankind.
II after 800 years OF Christianity IL is
hard - cstermine what day is Sunday.
whether theology requires that We should
b soriokled or dipped. Il there be a bell
u devil or not. what proportion OF Gcd's
childrra are 10 be saved or damned. whether
Jesus Christ - % come back in BODY and
ralmeuts aud inaugurate a iirst-class theol-
oEy on this old globe. where Heaven is
10, ated. anG how TO honOrabiy get into u.
q q = l.
lay and sleep IA the ground after death
until Gabriel blows his trumpet or are 20
fiy away 10 glory on celestial wings
y hen He pass in cur chips and
ten thousand other religious conundrums
remain uns0lved SO far into this Nineteenth
ceEtury. shy not embrace agnosticism and
done with X cerisiniy the doctrine IS
possed ny our distinguished fellow citizen,
Hon. d. A. blodsstt. IS far preferable 10
the incomprehensibls sophistry and rattls-
headed wranglinzs that have been gener-
Ously allowed % air themselves ia your
columns.
Ministers often belong TO the dark ages
They are seif-b0risd. and can never amount
10 anything until they are dug out. Only
think OF discussing the food as an actual
occurrences IN this scientific day and age.
There IS not college in tue old or the new
world that literally holds 10 that Chaldeic
tsoles 0ut hot one dohinie III uolen
seems 10 be aware Of the fact They only
wfangle the more and howl the louder
The writer can remember when
az honored uncle OF his along With
usny other plous dOnkeys in old
York State }. sctuslIy gave away his
farm and climbed % the ridge pole Of an
out-ouilding on one Of those ALLEGED as
censiOa" days. u cost him $500 70 get
the property back, and since then the old
man has been constantly looking around
for a certain distinguished apostle among
the Mitlsrites. lie boarded him all sum
mer. IL cAnuot be denied that broad
bs.ief IS rapidly gaining ground 10 the
eilsct that beyond good morals and noble
Car.stian conduct, the ministers know
iittie more about heaven and the angels
than the rest Of US In other words, that
TIE theology Of the day Is largely guess
work Nor = the wisdom or our divinity
doctors alone doubted. The scandals OF
the church have become altogether too
( frequent 20 command unbonnded reverence
sna admiration. and this is amply illus
trated ~ pulpit and camp meeting cpl
sodes haiiiuz from Kent county.
Theologisns DO battle With ghosts and
/ dry bones. As . class their hesds need
storing with useful kn0wiedze-after the
I ir0ih and shadows ars taken out OF them.
What are these olt-fasbiOned. regulation
sermons on the myths Of Palestine worth
I 20 struggling progressive humanity Are
( they noI shacAles on both the ankles and
wrists OF modem manhood, Can the clergy
I pick The LOCKS 10 the doors OF Hssven, for
7 tha uopes 20 obtain sn entrance VINO be-
ievss IN such celestial burglary
/ The religions world is rzpidly ontgrowinz
al these old nursery yarns. The axe wants
know wiedze-pract.cal. intellectual food. not
I popisn mandates and cranky superstifious.
! A maa would throw away bis money xho
I gave dollar 10 know Whistler tne whale
swallowed Jonah or Jonah swallowed the
rhsIe inst 50 as t0 Eve being made 0ut
Of Que Of Adams ribs. she fable OF tie fail
q man. and score Of other
/ fables and paraoles. born Of t6e ancient.
| ignorant. supers'ifious and sid headed,
seni barbaross tribes of Palestine.
We Know the world. and are slowly com
I passing the positive sciences but mostly
hegond this is the unknown, and the eE-
/ D0urders thereof srs largely unbalanced
/ theological vis0nisfs o. religious chafis-
fans They oeviiaer and make noise bat
are themselves empty II sound. spiritual
/ knowls3gs Their disCgFsiva battles are
rsrried 0a with jerusalem bow xgns and
/ Roman cross-oo~s. A eat1ling shooter
/ even iB ordinary hsnds. Vii put % rout =
wheie army Of these saadaled and be
hooded warriors 0f dead csnfsrv