Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-10-21
HOW FOLKS SHAKE HANDS
A FEW TYPES WITH WHICH MOST
OF US ARE FAMILIAR.

OF US ARE FAMILIAR
A Lack OF Fervor in the Greeting-Con-
descension-A Cold, Ciamniy Grip-The
Pump HandIe-GushinS-Dign
Grip of Friendship.
The bony shake is not confined to either
sex; it may be found alike in tall and short,
stout and thin: and consists of an offer of the
bones only of the right hand; not until your
hand closes round the shakers palm can. you
feel the GOODNESS, the lack Of fervor in the
greeting; there is no responsive grip 10 your
own but the muscles only OF the fingers and
the palm lie in your hand, as though You
were handling that which may he htly de
scribed as belonging to one OF the lemon
squeezers of society. one WHO'S wet blanket
on all enjoyment, sees clouds in sunshine, cof-
fins in the candle whose talk sets your teeth
on edge, and in whose INEXPENSIVE eyes you
can find no trace of sympathy or feeling
The bony fingers should have already warned
YOU that to trust such a one will entail on
you disaster and defeat.
The Condescendmg Shake Have you
never felt it. How lightly the fingers some
times three seldom four and never the whole
hand drop into your palm; you do the shak-
ing, because the condescending fingers he
passive in your grasp and the hand itself
would tell you. if 1t could, how much it feels
the ineffable sweetness of its own diSp's
in even allowing you 50 great privilege.
The same band once maybe met yours with
grasp as genial your own, but you have
remained stationary, whereas Tom had
windfall. and curious, isn't 1t, 10 see cause
and effectl The genial handshake has he
come more high toned and placid, and tie
nervous grasp of the fingers is changed for a
gentle dropping Of the disits in your out
stretched hand
The Fishy Shake-Cold and clammy strikes
The hand you grasp giving you feeling of
dissatisfaction and disgust as you insrinctively
think OF Uriah Heep, and, under one pretext
Or another, furtively take out your pocket
handkerchief to wipe off the moisture which
seems to have passed from the palm of the
shaker into yours. Possessed, a rule, by
those whose tempers have gone wrong, whose
milk of human kindness has turned sour, or
whose hidden purposes it is impossible TO
fathom, the clammy hand frequently belongs
TO those with whom it is not pleasant to deal
In all fiction the ghostly hand is icy cold or
else fishy, clammy grasp-either will do to
fill up the narrowing detail. Even grim death
himself is supposed to touch us with similar
grasp Take warning in time; never try and
perpetrate joke with man who has fishy
handshake for greeting.
The Mechanical Shake.-Who is not IA
miliar with the action OF pump handle as it
is pushed up and down, and in come hand
shakes the same principle is at work There
is no soul in it; the lifting up and down Of
the arm, which, when it is released, falls
down fiat against the owners side; the me
cRanical utterance of a few commonplace
words spoken like an automaton, all these tell
you enough of the character OF the man who
stands before you. You cannot gather grapes
from thorns, or else you might expect mira
cles to occur again on earth; and if you
think there is any enthusiasm below the sur
face in the mind o. the mechanical shaker,
why all we ask is try and force it out of him
If you can.
The Gushing Shake.-The how-are-v YOU
shake, with the how very large and loud, the
sort of greeting that fairly takes your breath
away and makes you fear you will be eaten
before you know 1.-THE jolly man or the Jolly
woman, 30 whom life is pleasure and whose
existence is series Of delights, who wants
everybody to be as happy as he is himself and
whose flow of spirits fairly infects you with
some measure of tine same good humor; your
usual sobe-lnindedness. may be, comes TO the
rescue Just in time, however, and you get
over the slight attack of unwonted frivolity;
yet when the shaker has gone it almost seems
as If a ray of sunshine had shown on you, and
all I,-;.,I
The Dignifed Shake.-Much affected bv
the professions You are, may be, immersed
In some pursuit for the good of mankind at
large, or for your own special town TOR we
trust you are respectable AMI belong to some
where big with Importance, you stroll along.
and, so strolling, you meet the digniieG
shake; you had thought of communicating
your opinions to the lady or gentleman you
have now met, but-one touch of the hand,
and away fes the faucyl Like the frozen
mutton of the antipoleS, you win want thaw-
ing in the warmth Of friendship before Won
can-talk to any one again: and as the gash-
ing shaker gave You lie and light, so the dig
nifed shaker gives you douche of cold
water, which takes away your energy and
spirits for the day.
The Friendly Shake.-The hearty grasp.
which, without being too violent, either
to crush the bones or to hurt the fin
gers, is yet warm enough, fervid enough.
to tell YOU that the shakers heart is
right You have only to look INFO the eyes
of such a one to be able tn read the honesty
of purpo-e that shines through the lamps of
the soul; grasp that tells of loving heart,
in whose reresseS there are sympathies that
can share the woes as well as the JOYS Of 9TH
ers; that can afforsi To laugh at the narrow
minded, the selfish aud the wicked; but can
offer to those whom they respect the genial
hand shake, wherein every muscle, every
nerve, tells of desire to do all they can TO
cheer the path in life of those they meet, and
inspire wShn their fellow creatures hearts
the knowledge that there are among us still
those who are ready to offer at all times and
seasons the fervid grasp that tells of friend
ship, of fellowship and good will-Home
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