Morning journal and courier., 1887-09-22
FIRES HI.

There may be nothing new in this world but there's heap that's freeh.-Tid Bits. What is the difference between high shurehman and Baptist? The one uses candles, the other dips.
 There is talk of making new cable pool Whats the matter with the Atlantic ocean Philadelphia Inquirer.
 The man who doesn't know "what's in a name" had better go and forge one-then he'll find out mighty quick.-Charlestown Enterprise.
 ons can be got into a freight. car. But we suspect the car would groan under that load. -Yonkers Statesman.
 The Short family recently held reuni on at hotel in this State. A hotel is the last place in the world a 'tshort" family should patronize.-Hotel Mail. Jersey City's water supply was cut off by an accident the other day, but none of the citizens found it out until little was need- ed to wash the glasses with.-Tid Bits. Cook-''Shure, mum, your pet bull dogs just after bitin' tn liz most off av the butcher boy!' Mistress-"Dear, idear! How clean boy, Mary. Life.
 Husband desperately - "Life has no longer any charms for me. I'll kill myself, I'll take poison" Wife (pleassntly)- ! if you do take poison, my dear, get the kind that's advertised Don't die in the house. '- Philadelphia News. A Slow Town.-She-"Di you visit Pom
 ! peii while abroad, MT. Wabash| Mr Wa \ bash (of Chicago)-"Yes, and it's about the ! more business done in Chicago in one day | than there has been done there for ten years. .''-Texas Siftings.
 "Johnny," he whispered, to her little brother, s'did your sister get a note from me last nighta It was written on pink paper. J s'I guess she must have got it," s,id John ny, ''cause when she came down to break fast this morning, her hair was done up in pink curl papers. "-Philadelphia News. With Half an Eye.-The Bishop of Lon don has lately been very severe upon the ballet dancers, yet he leaves the moat round Putnam Palace unprotected, so that children dance into it and get drowned. Before troub- ling about other peoples beams, why does he not look after his own moat?-Funny Folks.
 Friend (to young author)-How is your new book going, Charley.
 Young author (dubiously)- going pret- ty fast. I've already given away 300 copies. Friend-Five hundred copies Why, l congratulate you, old boy. l was afraid you wouldn't be able to give away more than half that mum ber.-New York Sun. "Are you the cowl' asked the boarder from town, pausing before the pump "No," re- piled the pump, speaking through his nose like true American, 'I am the milk made. flaw, haw, haw." And next morning the awe stricken guest ate his gruel in silence. nor once complained when he found water spider in the cream.-Burdette. "Can you help me to trife, siri" he said to Chicago citizen on State street. s'Pm a poor man with wife and leven children, and" "nothing-nothing," responded the citizen, brusquely, hurrying on, 'tan' Pm ! trying to raise money enough to obtain di- vorce." "Oh," said the citizen, stopping short, there's dollar for you."-Judge. One day Frederick of Prussia paused to speak to Jew, but the wary Hebrew took to
 his heels. The king pursued and after 8
 brisk chase overlook the flying subject.
 "Why did you run away from me, rascala'
 ! Because frankly admitted the Hebrew, q
 l was afraid.:' Fritz" hit him 8 tremendous l whack with his cane. "Villain," he roared,
 ''I don't want to be feared; want to be ! loved. ."-Brooklyn Eagle.
 A slender lieutenant from Skye, Was as thin a capital I, He said, Its too bad,
 But then, can pad,''
 Which shows that figures do lie.