The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-10-25
HE'D EDIT.
An Applicant From warsaw
He'd Like to Write for
Newspapers, for He
Reads En-.

He wanted q situation as ali edi-
tor.
But we didn't know that, when he
first came in, and We told him at once,
before he could say anything, no, we
didn't know where a good coal miner
couid get steady job.
1t was then that an expression of in
effaDle scorn passed over his features,
like thick fog over a Missouri river
bottom, and his countenance lit up
with intelligence like . hash of zigzag
lightning chawing . dead sycamore,
as he inquired in slow and measured
tones: "Do you wait an editor| At
the same time setting down two ca
pacious gripsacks.
Pm from Benton-I want to be an
editor"-he reiterated solennly and
sepulcherally.
He was about six feet high and
heavy set. He was a school teacher,
though his features were not classical !;
on the contrary they resembled in
symmetry the bars of . picket gate
hanging on one hinge. A pug nose
struggled for daylight beneath the
brow Of his slouched hat, while IN
oblique line of vision from each eve
watched its efforts; two Stalled feet
covered the floor at the other extrem-
ity, and his tout ensemble bespoke
him a gorilla from the Osagsan jun
giles.
"Indeed, my nsble Thsddeus, did
you ever write for newspaper ?" We
inquired.
mo, but I've read EN-" he replied
sententiou'ly,
"Do you know anything about the
newspaper bushes. ?" we asked.
"No, but kin learn" he hopeful
ly answered.
He then informed us that both
those grip-sacks we're filled with let
tiers of recommendation and tesli-
monials of good character, etc.
1t almost broke our heart, but we
told him that at present our whole
editorial force VAS busily engaged in
keeping sober in order to accumulate
money enough to get glOriOusly and
periodically drunk on the Fourth
however, we would give him a note to
the Democrat, where he might posi-
bly, obtain situation, if he was d
good liar. In the meantime he could
choose subject and give us a specimen
of his editorial ability. He promised
to do so and departed.
In the evening he returned. He
said he was going home he would
leave us his address; he gave us an
editorial as a specimen of his literary
talents he said he wrote it right off
unseen, and could write that way
month in and month out and never
lose a day. We shook him warmly
by the hand, promised to send for
him when We needed him, and then
as he thumped his way down stairs We
opened and read his editorial. :"
Here it is, verbatim:
Sedalia Oct. -, 1857.
REFORM
How is il to be brought about? To be
short, brief, consize d 10 the point. The
instrer is as follows: 1t is emphatically
The Common SchoOl-We must educate the
souls & the hearts of the children. Put
them on the right track & so TO Speak
the world is safe-Begin early las soon as
a word can be spoken plain) Nor is the
time-let us loose not a moment in idle
talk. 1t is a stern reality staring us in the
face is that reform is needed X badly two
Let us work-be patient 4 perseyering
energetic on this matter. Let us act So
that Single note of the music may not be
lost to
BEfs- HuTTedly Written
the World-ihe newspaper is one of the
grandest machines we have to bring about
this happy results is all the World in
peace, harmony x music written on the
faces OF all. ''Just as the twig is bent the
tree is inclined" Franklin said, Small
boats Should keep near shore But large
boats may venture moreno We wilt
not be afraid to venture "Music is in
the air. HENRY b. KELSEY,
of
NJ,