davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE are very few brass bands in military
parade that can play as many airs as the drum
major puts on.-Shoe and Leather Reporter.
IT is all well enough TO say there is nothing in
name; but suppose man named Slaughter
should start Il summer hotel, and call it the
Slaughter House?-HGrpeTS BdZGF.
WIFE-Dear, l wish you would invite young
Prof. \, some day, hear he is so dreadfully
abSent-minded; perhaps he will take our Ce-
cilia.-Cierntdn Paper.
CouNTRYMAN Ito dime museum freak)-Are
you the wild man of the Borneo woodsY
Freak-No, sir, I'm the horned man from the
Businesses of the Dark Continent. Wantaphoto-
graphonly25c?
Countyman-Where's your horns?
Freak had headache an | took 'em off
The photographs has got EN- on, sir Pittsburg
Post.
Mr.. ADoLPHUs TAYLOR and Miss Arabella
Fitz, who have been indulging during the even
ing in light badinage. Miss Arabea (smilng
archly)-O, AdOphus, your pants and coat re-
mind me so much of yourself and myself.
AdolphuS (nonchalantlyl WHY. | cannot see
any point to that. What are you driving at?
Arabella with an air of triumph Because,
dear Dophe, because they are taior's misfits.-
st. Paul Globe.
A REPORTER of this paper witnessed a fine
burst of speed yesterday while returning from
the funeral of the wife of our estimable fellow
townsman, Judge Jaybrd. Sandy Harrigan,
the driver of the bearse, attempted to throw
little dust on the Judge when the afflicted and
gref-striken widower pulled out of the ditch
with his fine bay horse, Three Spot, and easily
passed the outfit shouting and a-lying.-Hdy-
creek (Ter) PrGiiiefre.
mo, SIR, Numbered the old gentleman. 81
have made up my mind that my daughter shall
never marry man who plays poker"
she might do great deal worse, sir
Impossible Poker has proved the ruinaton
Of thousands OF men, and its victims never re-
cover from the infatuation. She could never do
worse"
"Excuse me- sir, I'm sure she could. She
might marry some fellow that thinks he plays
poker"
The old man thought it ver.-IFashington
Critic
MAKE was the little G-year-old daughter of a
clergyman who had taken great pains with her
religious instruction. and had held before her
the goodness of the Supreme Being so that she
should have in her mind always His kindness
and mercy as well as power. One morning her
mother, passing the open door of the room in
which the child was playing. saw Miss Make
standing on a chair before the mirror, with her
face close to 1t, scrutinizing her little phiz with
great earnestness, and with long sigh she re-
marked II don't see how God conld have given
me such nose. when he knows now particular
| am '-EdtOT'S Drdtcer, ia Hdrpers Mdgd-
zine for MGy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Frank Gould's Money.
From the Nem Work Sun.

Jay Gould's son Frank accompanied five Co.
lumbia College Students who We're arrested for
street turbulence at night to the Fifty-first
street police station, where they asked release
on bail and Police Justice Smith was summoned
to take it. lie demanded 500 for each. Young
Gould at once ran home and got 81 900 in cash,
which he offered to the magistrate as bail for
his fellow students in bondage Squire Smith
said that he couldn't take the money, and asked
Gould if he ddn have some real estate.
'Oh, yes, replied the lad naming a block OF
buildings worth several hundreds OF thousands.
"Wil you swear to that:'
THE lad took oath, and another student cor
roborated his claim TO being solid real estate
man. The five prisoners were accordingly re-
leased
While the bail proceedings were pending q
founding babe, whom a policeman had picked
up in Madison avenue, was brought ill., 1t was
u girl. neat looking, and her clOtdug was cleaner
than the average rounding. The students took
u lively interest In her, and she was handed from
one to another. Some one proposed collec-
ton, aud a hat which was passed around had
SO in it when It's contents were counted Gould
gave $40 OF the sum. The boys insisted on nam
ing The small heilcss Coiunbiana. With three
cheers for her they LEFT the station.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
A CLUB TRAGEDY AvERTED.
What Came of Words Between an Art
Critic and Sculptor.

What Came of Words Between an ART
Critic and a Sculptor
From. the Ne,s Tort Herald.
II bite my thumb at you sir
''You dare bite your thumb at me, sir.'
'Hic. I do
sit down and chew cloves.
Language like this--bitter, calling words like
these-were heard in the broad hall OF the Lotos
Club not long ago. Every llverled SerVltor IN
the establishment, where artists solid with the
treasurer love TO congregate, knew that each
particular hair stood ON end as these words
were Kissed upon that eventtul evening. be
cause really it was not 'cubby.
When sculptors and critics taH out there Is
apt to be muss Some proud statue OF human
clay is apt to be dashed and shattered on the
ground.
Out of it's noble line Of thespans, critics, au-
thors, journalists, stock brokers, men about
town and merchants. the LOtos has lost
prominent figure. They lost him by bounc-
ing him. IT'S true, It's pity, and pity lis us
true"
The 'tiff'' was in the case of Mr.. Romeo Mon
tague and Mr.. Tybalt Capulet both OF Verona,
between Montague and a-Wel, CapIet.
This Mr.. Montague whose surname is Marks, IS
an art critic, and Mr., Capulet, one who doth
molSten clay with-Oh, yes, with wateI--a priest
at the shrine of art. They fell out why they
fell out and how they fell out IS unimportant
lhey fell out, and more Is the pity OF IT, Ihe
fiery moistener of clay, the maker OF craven
images, which the said Montague did not fall
down and worship, stepped upon lotos leaf on
the tiled floor and, slipping Jostled Monty
The art critic goaded the sculptor to madness by
reminding him he was not plumb; that he was
off the perpendicular.
Now there are some things a man won't
stand, and one of them is being told that he is
wabbling on his base SO. with a fine, sarcastic
smile, Capulet said What, no, Proud Hebrew -
After pause he made fine oratorcal flourish
with his right arm, and continued: He is an
art critic, and thinks he knows too much TO talk
of art. Ha, he, He, hel" For almost all of
this Montague would have forgiven him for the
love he bore his mistress, Art; but the Ha ha
He, he was maddening. 1t is terrible thing
for proud man to hear an adversary say, Ha,
ha! lie, he!" And that is the way the row
began.
nontague gathered up his mantle and brushed
| the venomous sculptor aside. Marx Mark 8
contempt. The priest at the altar OF art shook
violently with emotion, and remarked in a
stage whisper, that he was inclined Ito mop the
floor with him. But as Montague is a man of
Roodly size, six feet high, with an arm sug-
gestive of dallying' with a smithys heavy ham
lner, Capulet in pity simply "cussed. And
| thereon hangs q tale. SO it is said that Mon
tague Marks became the bouncer and Capulet
| the bounce-ea.
Order is restored in the halls of the Lotos
| Club, and every servitor particular hairs join
| others in slick slaps or capillary tendrls. No
| pistols have been used and there has been no
| run on coffee.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
PERSONAL.

l. his Confessions of Claud" Edgar Fawcett
satirizes Mrs. hackay and the Princess Coonna.
Hon. DANIEL DouGHERrY. of Philadelphia
will soon sail for Europe to spend SIX months
there.
THE new Minister from Little Venice Senior
Don j. $. Olavarria, lives at Caracas when he is
at home
RECORDER TRorTER, of Washington. is now
out Of danger, though his full recovery viii be u
matter OF considerable time.
JOIN SwGNToN says in a published card that he
wants no funds raised in his behalf He is an
object Of interest, but not Of charity,
STATEMENTS are current to the effect that
Senator Don Cameron Is making 100000 year
10y real estate operations at the National capital.
THOMAS STEVENS. who made the circuit Of the
globe on his little bicycle, is being toasted into
bilious condition by his admirers in Washington,
Ok his SOth birthday Kaiser Wilhelm gave
his medical attendant, DIR. Won Laucr. purse
containing s37 800, and on his Goth birthday,
$4,000,
JoHS ". YouNe, the eldest son Of the late
Brigham Young. iS about 20 years old and fine
looking. He has been living at a hotel In New
York for some time.
Ir Is reported that cx.Mayor Carter n Harri.
son, OF Chicagu. VIII soon start for California
with his family He viii visit Asia and make "a
journey around the world.
Tux New Yor. SIM says. "Slrs. Agnes Booth
aud Miss Florence Gerald are two comlucdlcnnes
thht long since won their spurs. II must be-
very awkward for their husbands.
BEs BCrLER tx said % be willing 10 sacrifice
himself again by becoming "a Presidential cuu.
dideie next year. provided that li, friend Mr
, Blame. should d"cu such sacrifice necessary.
Arm TIE death uf Principal rollorh. Of 81
Andrew Queen victoria granted 10 Dos widow
q tHus0n ~ .iupl year from her private
plrir. hrf Imlnrh in nov dead, and the Queen
announce thai fle prnsl1u VIZ hn confined ~
h'r three unmarried dnu'dlieiV
~ a understood that William \ Florence d
ool.irg fDr plaor to huY With fhr lufcufluH N
masking hhsiuu ipH ~ib h'H hpiln nf au early
Nf iluirWn HIl make au rnnn A. assnfe fhr
nF.i tV IAlf iilH rau Yf Josiah lamnT m Do
u l.YlNH 'nI unsnr QUO gi Raymond
Msal bsaslsf uana
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
GERMS.
Their Universal Prevalence. Dangerous
Character and How They Live
and are Killed.

The Germans consume large amounts OF
uncooked pork, and often get living animals
called triclinae into their blood, which cause
the most terrible death. Americans draw
| in the germs of disease and death with every
breath Malaria, Iuiasna, sewer gas anu
the thousand poisOns in the air, III 1ood ana
| in water are at war with health and life all
the while The blood that circulates i'll hui
man veins is composed of numbers OF small
coI.Duscles that resemble animals, and when
| ANYTHING poisonous gets into the blood 1T
| becomes lust like stagnant water, tull OF
| living animals that feed upon each other
! and upon tie blood itself And yet no one
person i'll fifty is free from blood poisoning
| in some form. Every moment OF the life,
whether awake or asleep, a million poison
Gus animals, invisible to the naked eye, are
| feeding upon the very elements that make
| and sustain life.
These are factS--they are solemn truths
and they demand the most serious attention.
| These germs must be killed; they must be
annihilated But howe Prof. Austin Flint,
of Bellevue Hospital College, New York,
saws: THE iudicious use of alcoholic stimuli
lants is one of the striking characteristics
! of progress in the practice of medicine dur
! ing the last half century," while DR.. j. Z.
| Gilbert, of Lyons, n. Y, says: From my
| experience i'll the treatment OF chrome dls-
| eases of a wasting and debiiitatlng nature L
| y
the use of stimulants, and i'll my opinion
Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey for purity and
other desirable qualities cannot be surpassed
for such purposes. Its action seems to be
that of pure stimulant, with none OF the
| inebriating effects which are too often found
| In so-callel medicinal whiskeys."
When we consider the terrible amount OF
poison that is in the blood, and the misery
and death it is causing, and when we realize
that all its germs can all be driven out by
stimulant mot intoxicant like Duffy's Pure
Malt Whiskey, we have cause for thankful
ness that modern science is doing SO much
for mankind in removing disease, destroy
ing its cause and bringing health and happi..
ness instead of misery and death. Most of
the leading people of the land are realizing
the value of this Whiskey, and many whose
preiudices have heretofore kept them en-
| tirely from the use of spirits are seeing its
pure and valuable qualities in warding off
diseases, and use it regularly in their homes.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
The Hand He Loved the Best.
From tie Chicago Tribune.

FT0Nl lie LIlICUJO IFIOtlle,
"No longer tihnG may | stand;
IT'S lodge night. as you know;
Cling not so with that little hand;
I'm sorry, but must go
1.-The hand IL soft as Ger ] saw,
AS soft and white us wool
But give me, when come 20 draw,
4 land that's called full
you're fair my love. when To your cheek
There comes The fleeing blush;
Yet fairer still Is what seek;
It's called royal flush"
So spalSc the club man az the door,
Nor needed wiiely arts
To keep him homc-said this and more
Ungullant kuaye OF hcarts
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Reatstc,cd At Ne Post oolce d, sarannoh.

- -
The MoRNISG NEWS lis published every day in
the year and is served to subscribers la the city,
by newsdeaerS and carriers. on their own ac-
count, at 25 cents week 81 90 a month, s. 90
The MORNING NEWS, by mail one month,
81 90; three months, S. 50; six months, S. co.
one year $40 90.
The MoRNINe News, By mail six times a
week (without Sunday iSsuel, three months
S. 90; six months 81 % one year 50 90.
The MORNING NEWS. Tri-Weekly, Mondays
Wednesdays and Fridays or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays, three months, ST %; six
months So 30: one year, S. co.
The SUNDAY NEWS, by mail, one year, So 90
The WEEKLY NEWS By mail, one year, 81 25.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order, check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mail at risk of senderS.
Letters and kilograms should be addressed
" MORNING NEWS, Savannah, Ga"
Advertising rates made known on application.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
INDEX TO KEW ADVERTISEMENTS

MEET1NGs-DIutual Cooperative Association;
Golden Rule Lodge No. r. l. O. o. F.; Board of
Trade.
SPECIAL NoT1CEs-To Druggists and Apothe-
carries: Passenger Rates Reduced on NJ. and NJ
IT. Co. S Steamers; A Card to the Public, Tom
Golden; Steamer Pope Catlin for Darien etc,
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS dep Want
ed; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale
Miscellaneous
STEAMSHIP cHEpuLEs-Baltimope Steamship
Co.; Ocean Steamship Co.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
a BOBBY Who Thumped His own Skull


EFoHt me IuitWoft .imcFiCtu,
The most unhappy man Ia Washington lust at
this time is young clerk IN the l'osl Office De.
pntlment lie n well known la social circles,
hU; generosity. nt lrnst, iorbids mentioning his
na'ur The story runs ih this way; The Young
Y u. G.. was about 10 take part IN some private
thealrrals ana one of The essentials wasa pic
turc ~ a lackass 80 he sat down and nd.
dressed ~ Mr. Grny nDuglnHs "a we'll known
aitirt of thlh city AID friend of his, the follow
iur unfHs
bBlHsp DD,gLtss. Please draw me tho pie.
buroip barge 4lod Iarhass, but cyute i0 sso iue
LFli yours,
Tho i0lio Nhs TOO gold ~ be- laid away, AMI so
d naH gwen away 90 tle lHtense RmlisFmenf ~
che young mHus friends. Hui Hil.i urr ni+nst
NianHnilur of hilsll o. 3D. uuiltIl1 ihHf Dh
pi''''" % "a" ctsi Nli base a. b. slppi.'d
Tiv 'oHii.i ioYu ihai firr Nod ues'-l ln
INI'I' HHHa .i'l Hr fnun ugA Zoe UlDfluf
$685. tftiaafi.hla AaaHlfE
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

Senator Sherman thinks that the Southern
'boom" depends upon coal and iron. He is
not altogether right. The Southern boom
depends upon more than coal and iron. Ag-
ricultural products must be taken into ac-
count, and, above everything else, the pluck
of the people must be considered.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Words of Praise.
From the atlanta Journal,

from me atlanta journal.
The SAVANNAH NEWS, one of the best newspa-
pers in the South, shows gratifying evidences of
prosperity in donning recently an entire new
dress of minion and nonpareii making it one of
the handsomeSt papers, geographically speak
more welcome visitor to the ,J01GyadI office than
the News, its fairness, modesty and intelligent
comprehension making it a valuable guide. The
tons, with the hope that the NEWS may long
continue its prosperous course.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

The New York San thinks that the great
est enterprise now in sight is the draining
country are engaged in drainage enterprise
that is greater than the one the San points
out. They are trying to drain the beer
kegs and whisky barrels of the country, but
there is not much prospect of their finish
ing the lob soon
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

Joshua Baker, Mormon elder, arrived
in Chicago the other day, accompanied by
three wives and eight children. He was on
his way to Alabama to preach his creed, but
the hard-hearted Chicago police thought he
had too many wives and so they arrested
him ON the charge of bigamy and locked
him up. He doubtless wishes he had left
his family at home.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

Capt. j. NJ. Levy, of the Post Office De-
partment at Washington, has been fasting
four weeks, and expects to continue until he
equals DR.. Tanners famous fast. He drinks
pint and half of water day and takes
three teaspoonfuls of certain elixir He
has lost about thirty-five pounds of flesh
What makes the Captains feat of unusual
fatereRt is the fact that he attends to his
duties regularly and that his health appears
20 be improving.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Cleveland and a Second Term.

From he NdSHriNe UIllOn LDemD
The whole story is actually laughable: that
the President should make known his purpose
to cOuntermand the work of his friends in every
part of the United States, and practically turn
the wheel of fortune back on the Democratic
party through two fellows who are not willing
TO give their names, is supremacy ridiculous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
A Central American Union.

There appears to be some ground for the
report that a union of the Central American
States is about to be accomplished There
are movements in that direction which are
exciting attention. The consolidation of the
four States has been discussed by Central
American statesmen for long time, but up
to the present no satisfactory basis for q
union has been discovered.
Two years ago Barrios, President of
Guatemala, concluded that he would force
union He thought he would be supported
by Zalvidar, President of Salvador. He had
some sort of an understanding with him,
but when he was about ready to carry out
his scheme Zalvidar hesitated, and finally
declined to become the ally of Guatemala
Costa Rica and Nicaragua also protested
against Barrios scheme. Barrios lost his
temper aud began a war upon Salvador In
the first battle he lost his life. That ended
the consolidation business for the time be
ing. Barrios' widow, young, handsome
and rich, is nova favorite in New York
society.
The main reason, it is believed, why Bar
rios scheme was not acceptable to the other
three States was that they fearel that Re
wanted to make himself dictator of the
whole of Central America. There is no fear
of Barrios now, and no one appears to be
striving to make himself dictator 1t is not
improbable, therefore, that a union may be
agreed upon. There will be no opposition
by the United States to a union, but this
government would hardly permit, without
interference, an attempt to bring about a
consolidation by force of arms. Mexico OPP
posed Bar1'ios' scheme, however, and might
oppose any effort to form a union peace
fully.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Mr.. Watterson's Mistake.


FTOH tte Futre&tON Ne1cS IDenl,)
Mr.. Watterson says the President has from
the first had genuine distrust of the party that
elected him. The trouble is that Mr. WatterSon
cOnfOunds the party with the politicians. The
President doubtless does entertain feelings Of
distrust toward the politicians as a mass, and
therein is the secret of his having so well sue
ceeded in pleasing the great body Of his party
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
CURRENT COMMENT.
Arbor Day,

From the Ne,o York Times (Rep.)
Arbor day is coming by degrees in some parts
of the ecountry to be as scrupulously observed
as that of Decoration day Its institution was
mate the comfort, pleasure, health and wealth
which might alreadY be traced to it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

A religious paper objects to Sam Jones'
joining the Salvation Army. ''Think of the
great evangelist arrayed in blue cloth and
red trimmings!n it exclaims Then it mourn
fully CALCULATES 'He'll not be in the Army
month before the secular press will be
calling him religious policeman"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

A Dakota paper has an article on 'James
Russell" whom it calls "a Lowell, Mass,
crank who thinks he is bigger than Shakes
peare." Now are the reporters revenged.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

1t is said that Mary Anderson, the actress.
is to marry an English nobloman. She
would, perhaps, fare better if she were to
marry AN American who is a noble man.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

In New York the latest phase of anglo
mania is the importation from London of
the wedding cake for a fashionable mar
eriage II the sea voyage takes the night
mare out of the cake there will be at least
one excuse for anglomania
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

\ Senator Vest thinks that Capt. Eads' ship
railway scheme died with him Some of
the stockholders do not agree with the Sena-
tor. They are soon to hold a conference,
and it will then be decided whether the en-
terprise shall be pushed to completion or
nrOnped
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

The beautiful flowers which abound in
Savannah were put to tender and holy use
yesterday by the hands of those who still
saave sufficient love for the Old South not
to forget the heroic dead
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

Nobody has said that Mr. Blaine will re-
fuse to be candidate next year Mr.. Blaine
never refuses.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

Rev. Father Braun of BROOKLYN, has
made discovery. He said while preaching
last Sunday that Eve was a tramp. Fol
owing up the announcement of his discoy-
cry, he said that the world had endured a
vast deal of trouble on account of Eve and
the women who had lived since her day
He intimated that women were in league
with the individual who tempted Eve The
good man has, perhaps, had some trouble
with the fair sex, or it may be that his
washerwoman neglected to darn his stock
ings.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27
Address Registered Letters to
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BANK,
New Orleans, La

PE NEkHRE 2 That the presence Of Cen
NC WE wi DEN erals Beauregard and
EARLY, who are in charge of the drawings is a
guarantee of absolute fairness Ind integrity
that the chances are all equal, and that no one
can possibly divine what number will draw
Prize.
REMEMBER that the payment of all Prizes
is GUARANTEED BY FOUR NATIONAL
BANKS of New Orleans, and the Tickets ara
signed by the President of an Institution, whose
chartered rights are recognized in the highest
Courts; therefore, beware of any limitations or
anonymous schemes.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

If the Chattanooga Times is correct, the
Standard Oil Company owned the last
Legislature of Tennessee. A bill passed by
that body levies revenue tax of $1,000
upon jobbers of Illuminating oils in all
Tennessee cities of more than 10000 in
habitants. The Times charges that the bill
was secretly passed, and that the STANDARD
Oil Company resorted to bribery to secure
votes for it,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-27

A New York insurance official says that
he believes the insurance companies have
lost $500, 900 since Anarchist Most began his
infamous lectures ON how to destroy prop
erty and rob the rich. The number of
fires charged to unknown causes has largely
increased, and it is believed that the 'un-
known causes" in most instances were Most's
disciples. Most ought to be jailed He
abuses the liberty allowed him in this coun-
try, and he ought to be made to suffer for it,.