davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
Post Office Troubles.

The other day, says the New York Ev-
ening Sun, an old woman, bent with age
and the weight OF basket, presented an
order for payment at the post-ofiice mon
ey order department. She had showed
it into every window on the row before
she came to the right one.
"You must sign your name to this
first" said the clerk, sliding back the
sheet of blue paper.
"Oi can't write, sor," replied the old
woman.
"Well, then, what's your name ?"
"Biddy."
II mean your full name"
Bridget"
The cleIk began to get vexed "My
good woman" said he, cant you tell
me tell me both your Christian name and
your surname?"
ITO be sure OF can"
"Why don't you tell it, then?"
"Why didn't ye ak me at first ? Me
name is Bridget O'Brien."
'That isn't the name in my letter of
advice" continued the clerk looking
rather puzzled. "Who sent you this
money ?"
"Ale husband, sor."
"And what's your husbands name ?"
paddy Muldoon."
"Then your name is Bridget Null
DOOM"
"'Tis 'sor; it be that be marriage"
"Where do you live, Mrs Muldoon?"
son the sicond fure, SIR"
A long line of people had now formed
at the window, and the clerk gave up the
old woman as. "a bad case. He signed her
name to the order, and then poked the
handle of the pen through the little brass
bars. Touch the pen, man," said he.
Mrs. Muldoon had been very patient
heretofore, but when the clerk showed
the pen at her she thought he was trying
to have little fun at her expense. She
was vexed, especially when she noticed
the harrassed young man smiled painful
ly at two pretty girls hard by "Git
away wild yer tricks" she exclaimed an
grily, IAN don't try emmy uf yer tomfool-
cry wild a womun ould enuf to be yer
granny"
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
Delusions.

That our best girl is perfection
personifed.
That our children are phenom-
enally bright.
That the man who does not share
our political opinions is either an
idiot or a rascal.
That we could edit a paper with
great success.
That dullness is profundity.
That Vulgarity is wit.
That our friends would get along
a great deal better if they would
follow our advise.
That we possess unusual histrionic
talent.
That we can prevent our son from
falling in love with the first girl he
meets, just as we did.
That we are not very fly in Phila-
delphia.
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
An Optical Illusion.

Miss Selden's fiance is approaching
them across the lawn
Judge S.-Who is that coming across
the lawn, daughter?
Miss S-Why, papa, don't you see
that is Teddy. lie said he intended
coming over this evening"
Judge S.-Ah, yes; / see now.
thought at first il was a man.
A man and his son were passing an ar
senal where battery OF artillery was
practising.
Boom boom boom
"What docs all that mean, father 7"
Boom boom boom
"Oh, simply some newspaper men re-
hearsing."
Boom boom boom
Newspaper menl Why, don't un-
derstand you"
Boom boom booml
"a lot of journalists, my son, getting
ready to write headlines for a Kansas
newspaper"
Boom boom boom
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
CHAFF.
History of the Indian war-Ute, Brute
Shoot, Scoot.

History of the Indian war-Ute, Brute
Shoot, scoot.
The gam" Of chess VAS invented Cos
years b. c. 1t is, therefore, something
of chess nut.
When you see a man trying in vain to
uproot a lamp post you may be sure of
one or two things, either the post is
tight or the man is.
Two knots an hour isn't such bad
time for clergyman, smilingly said the
minister to himself just after he had
united the second couple.
A citizen who had just laid down 5000
for a span of carriage horses was driving
out Woodward avenue the other day
when he met farmer coming in with a
load of apples. Desiring to chaff the
stranger bit, he drew up and inquired
Say how'll you trade teams?"
The farmer halted, got down from his
vehicle, looked the team over, and slow
ly inquired
"waal, by gosh ?"
"What's the matter?"
"If you hadn't stopped me l wouldn't
have knowed the team"
"Did you ever see these horses be-
fore ?"
"Did 1? Why, raised 'em Solo
'em both to a horse trader in town three
weeks ago. That nigh one has the heavei
and the other is a cribber and has two
spavins. I'll trade with you fur $75, anc
that's allowing $S5 piece more on you
horses than got"
The owner of the "spankers" -hasn'
seen peaceful hour since that meeting
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08

The bald knobbers seem to occupy
the front row in Ozark, Mo.
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
rssaEd-R His Life.

Mr. D. l. Wilcoxson, of Horse Cave,
Ky, says he was, for many years, badly
afflicted with Phthisic, also Diabetes: the
pains were almost uncomfortable and
would sometimes almost throw him into
commissions. He tried Electric Bitters
and got relief from first bottle and after
taking six bottles was entirely cured,
and had gained in flesh eighteen pounds.
Says he positively believes he would have
died, had it not been for the relief afford
ed by Electric Bitters. Sold at fifty
cents a bottle at Beaton Smiths drug
store, Newark, Del. g
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
Don't Experiment.

You cannot afford to waste time in ex-
perimenting when your lungs are in dam
ger. Consumption always seems at first
only cold. Do not permit any dealer
to impose upon you with some cheap
imitation ofDr. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, Coughs and Colds, but
be sure you get the genuine. Because lie
can make more profit he may tell you
he has something just as good, or Just
the same. Don't be deceived, but insist
upon getting DR.. Kings New Discovery
which is guaranteed TO give relief in all
Throat, Lung and Chest affections
Trial bottles free at Beaton Smiths drug
store, Newark, Del. G.
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
Rnnklania Arnioa SalYe.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rhcum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and pos
itively cures Piles, or no pay required.
1t is guaranteed to give perfect satlsfac-
ton. or money refunded. Price 90 cents
per box. Forsale by Beaton Smith, drug
gists, Newark, Delaware.
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
I947. 1885.

GEO. ". WILLIAMS,
NEWARK, DELAWARE.
agent for the Kent County Mutual Fire
Insurance Co., of Dover, Delaware, In
sures against loss of Fire, issuing Mutual
Policies only under which Payments are
made annually in advance during mem
bership, and on ceasing to be members
whatever remains unexpended after pay
ing loses, expenses,and dividends are re-
turned, thereby furnishing Insurance at
cost. Dividends returned after the
second annual payment. Aug22tf
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08
Oh, What a COughl
delphia.

Will you heed the warning. Tho sir-
nal perhaps Of tho sure approach Of
that more terrible disease Consumption
Ask yourselves if you can afford for the
sake of saving 80 cts, to run the risk and
do nothing for it. We know from exper-
fence that Shiloh's Cure will cure vour
Cough 1t never fails. This explains
why more than Million Bottles were
sold the past year. 1t relieves Croup
and Whooping Cough, at once. Mothers
DO not be without it. For Lame Back.
Slue' or Chest, use Shiloh's Porous Plas-
ter; Sold by E. I. Dilworth, Newark
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08

We have the most complete Job
Office to be found anywhere in the
State of Delaware. The Ledger is
filed with interesting news each
week. Subscribe for it.
The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1887-10-08

Chicago is poor place to make
money. They arrested one fellow
this week for simply making half
dollars.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05

The reports of the Indian agents show
that during last, year 65,s56 Indians re-
quired medical treatment for sickness or
wounds. The majority of them suffered
from diseases of the eye, and diseases Of
the respiratory organs came next in or
der. Over 10, 900 were consumptive and
1000 were treated for disorders of the
digestive organs. This large showing for
dyspepsia would, no doubt. In an eastern
community. have been unjustly charged
to the account of civilization and pie. OF
enthetic diseases due to immortality there
was little to support the outcry that has
been raised against the Indians, 5 less
than 1000 were treated for all diseases Of
this class. 1t is worthy of note, also, that
only four Indians suffered from inebria-
ton, and but one in ESQ., 900 red men had
the delirium tremens.- Frank Leslie's.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05
Odds and Ends.

-
The National drill cost about $780,.
900.
The rubber men are in New York
forming Q monopoly.
Peter Schumacher, Stockbridge,
Wis. got sl2, 500 arrears of pension.
A Protestant cathedral is planned
for New York at . cost of 8 6.OOO,0OO.
The gold holdings Of the United
States treasury have increased $780,.
900 since May lst.
Ex-senator Jones' hotel bill at De-
troit was $500. He paid 1t but is sup
pored TO be out Of money now.
The Presbyterian church assembly
at Philadelphia refused to cashier a
church for the glazing sin of using an
organ.
Rev. John 8. Lindsay, of the Dis.
trict Of Columbia. was elected bishop
to succeed the late Bishop Lee, Of
Maryland.
The Oshkosh theatre has been
bought by Hunnemacher. Of Milwau.
kee, to be run in connection with the
Milwaukee opera house.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05

AA1 outy ~ VI te0 eoNOi huACut
outstanding are nov the four-and-a-
half per cent?. and the four per cents.
The former are not due until 1891, and
the latter not before 1907. IL has been
urged very ably that the government
cannot afford to buy up these bonds at
. premium. as II would cost too much
and put money into the pockets Of the
bondholders. With all the Difference
to the ability and nonesty of the finau-
ciers adducing such arguments against
purchasing, at least the four-and-a-
half per cents, we must yet denounce
such reasoning as very puerile, in
deed. There are $25O,OOO, 900 OF four
snd-a-half per cents. outstanding
which will mature In 1891. That Is to
say, they have four years yet to run at
four-and.a.half per cent. interest every
year. The interest. II they are not
paid till maturity, will amount to
$45, 00o, 600, equivalent to eighteen per
cent. premium, which will be paid In
four years, together with the $50, OOO..
900 OF principal. II, however, the
government goes into the market now
II can buy those four-and-a-halfs at say
twelve or thirteen per cent. premium,
certainly not more than the latter fig.
ure. Thirteen per cent on $3.50, 5000 %
would be $50. 500, 900, or about three
years. interest. BY buying now the
government would ave over ell ,0O0,-
0O0, an item OF very considerable at
tention even to so rich q government
Ms ours. The same course of reasoning
applies to the four per cents. though
the saving would be much larger in
amount. As the time they have TO
run is larger, the total sum much
greater, and the aggregate Of the
premium II bought up now would be
less In ratio. To fund these four per
per cents, EEL If practicable, would
be just to the b~ondholders. while the
government has every right TO buy
them whenever 1t chooses to do so,
only paying the premium. As one Of
the most onerous burdens of taxation
10 TO provide for paying the interest on
the national debt, We should think
this view of the subject deserves The
attention Of the government. The
bonds must be reduced in compare.
lively \ short time hence aud the ma
tional banking system Of the country
placed upon q different footing rs re-
cards security for issue. AZ we shall
have to face this problem in the near
future, why not face 1t now. when by
SO doing we can effect so prodigious Q
saving ?-Exchange.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05
WINNIPEG has pluck. Premier Nor.

WINNIPEG has pluck. Premier Nor
quay says the dirt along the line ofthe
new road TO the Minnesota boundary,
TO connect with the Northern Pacific,
shall begin to fly In three weeks, in
spite Of the refusal Of the Ottawa gov
eminent to relieve Manitoba from the
burden Of the Canadian Pacific mono.
poly. That road will be built. There
Is no division OF sentiment In Winni-
peg, or in the Province worth talking
about. A few Of the business men of
Portage la PIairie haye resolved In ia
vor Of the Canadian Pacific In the
hope doubtless Of reaping some advan.
tage in the Northwest trade from q
fight on Winnipeg by the Canadian
Pacific, but the general sentiment Of
the Province seems to be heartily In
sympathy with Winnipeg whenever
it dares to express itself. Mean while
the eastern Canadian provinces are
not Indifferent to their interests In the
matter. Any attempt to coerce the
Manitobians is likely TO result not on
ly injury TO the trade Of the eastern
provinces with the northwest. but IL
may lead TO open revolt. That they
are awake to this possible result is APP
parent from the tone of the warning
which the Toronto Globe gives to the
Dominion government, as recited in
our dispatches yesterday. The Globe
reminds the government that 1.-THE au-
thority never existed In Canada which
would dare order Canadians TO shoot
down their near relatives for no other
crime than that OF building q railroad"
70 deliver themselves from the CALLING
burdens Of an extort:onate monopoly.
II 10 suggested by the same journal TO
the Ottawa government that the half
breeds gained everything they asked
for by their outbreak and that the peo.
pie Of Manitoba are not likely 10 be
satisfied with q refusal Of their reason
able demands. Not only is the right
on the side Of the Manitobians, but
these considerations no doubt have in
fiuenoed them Id taking the bold stand
they have already assumed. 1t is one
ofdefiance toward the Ottawa govern.
meat which must necessarily csnss
trouble Of some kind. but the out.
come will be . victory for Winnipeg.
Minneapolis Journal.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05
Various Ways OF Making Change.

Some one has taken the time and
trouble to figure out the various combina-
tons of coins that might be used in
changing a quarter, and places them at
2l5. The pieces used in making the
changes are the 90 cent piece, 10 cent
piece, 8 cent piece, 3 cent piece, 2 cent
piece, and ! cent piece. To be able to
make all the changes would require one
20 cent piece, two 10 cent pieces, five s
cent pieces, eight 3 cent pieces, twelve .
cent pieces, and twenty-five l cent pieces,
making in all fifty-three pieces of money,
representing 1913. New York Sun.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05
The Foundations Of Galveston.

The boring Of an artesian well at Gal
weston shows on what peculiar founda-
tons the city rests. In the first place 1t
stands on a narrow sand spit between
Galveston bay and the gulf Of Mexico.
After going through 80 feet Of quicksand
the drill passed through blue clay, n
feet; coarse sand, 90; white clay, 107;
sea mud, 81; olive clay, 116; sea mud,
l5o; blue clay, 20; sea mud, II; blua
clay, 147; total, 65s feet. AT a depth OF
500 feet several palmetto logs were passed
tlrough.-New York Sun.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05
Disadvantages OF Egotism.

Egotism, while II brings great grist 10
the mill, feeding the brain with enormous
energy and making a man or a woman
succeed because one must and will and
shall be prominent-this egotism Is not an
agreeable companion on the upland lawn
or in a country house or IN society. An
egotistical woman does Dot gel invited TO
the "little dinners;'' she In reserved for
the formal one Of twenty four.-MrA
John Sherwood In New York World.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05

MA and reliable Medicines are the best
wv todepend upon. Acksr's Blood Ell
ixir has been prescribed for years for allim.
purities ofthe Blood. Inevery formofScrof-
ulous. syphilltic or Mercurial diseases. tits
invaluable. For Rheumatism. has no equal
john Wright. Druggist.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05

RNNIes thsssre fretful, peevish.
SsSC cross, OF troubled with
Windy Colic. Teething Pains, or
Stomach disorders, can be relieved
at once BY using Acker's Baby soother.
1t contains no Opium or Morphine,
hence is safe. Price 20 cents. Sold By
John Wright. Druggist.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-06-05

Sherfff's Sale.
James H. Tolfree and -
Nancy ]. Tolfree, nj, y = ps.sici SouIi
~ District Of the Territory
Gaor,a A Csrnsntar Of Montana, within and
Dafsndsnt. for the County OF Custer
ID virtue Of an order OF sale issued out Of the
Id District Court Of the Fourth Judicial Dis
trict Of the Territory Of Montana within and for
the County Of Custer in the above entitled cause, l
will. on the 10th day Of June, 1887, ct the front
door Of the court house in Miles City, NJ. T., at 2
scribed real estate, TO vii; Lot No se,ss,ssn
On, In block No. thirty-two (32). in said Miles
City, according 10 the survey and plat Of the town
Of Miles City fled for record BY the Northern Pa.
ci6c rsilrosd company IN the Office Of the recorder
Of the Improvements and buildings situate thereon.
TH0S. II. IRVINE, Sheriff.
Dated Miles City, N. T., May 20, 1887
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
HEALrHFuL SLEEP.
How to Overcome the Evils OF Excessive
Labor and Anxiety.

How to Overcome the Evils OF Excessive
Labor and Anxiety.
Sleep. like many other functions, il
merely matter of circulation and Of
diminished supply of blood to the
brain. When we go to bed with our
brains still active. and worry over the
days work and excite ourselves over
the days pleasure, We do not go to
sleep. and shall not until by some
means we have driven or drawn the
blood from the brain to some other
part of the body.
The worst possible thing is to keep
the head hot by wrapping it up or US
ing very soft pillows A hair pillow is
often better than pillow of feathers
A warm foot bath or hip bath is a COM
mon expedient, and the yet simpler
one of plunging the hands and wrists
into hot water is often efficaciOus; a
towel or handkerchief wrung out of eau
de Cologne and water every one has
tried; and an ice bag to the head is the
same idea more thoroughly carried
out.
Robust persons. whose circulation is
quick. recommend cold water or cold
air bath. on the principle that the blood
driven from the skin by the shock will
come back presently with redoubled
vigor. A hot bottle or hot brick is
safer and pleasanter remedy for weak
people and for children, who. when
they worry about their lessons after
they go to bed, generally have burn
ing head and ice cold feet
The surest way to get bad night is
to eat an indigestible supper; but. on
the other hand, small quantity of
light food taken just before bed time
often promotes sleep, especially in
those who have been exercising their
brain since the last meal. A cup OF
hot milk or cocoa. or, better still, cup
of beef tea or beef extract, sends many
person TO sleep who withoutit would
have lain tossing for hours.
Hot lemonade answers the purpose
in many cases, and is besides a food
that is often wanted. Little children
who have tea early often sleep better
after bit of bread and butter or bis
cult and a drink of milk; and, some-
times, if they wake up and lie awake
for an hour or SO. they sleep again
quickly if they are fed. Many bad
sleepers might pursue the same plan
with advantage. The remedy depends
on the very simple fact that nothing
can be III two places ut once, and that
if the blood is called to the stomach for
aid in digestion it can not remain in
the head to be wasted in Worrying
N Y. Herald
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
THE TWO EXTREMES.
4 Dealers Chat About Very Cheap end
Very Expensive ot-Wear.

Dealers Chat About Very Cheap 0nq
Very Expensive Footwear.
This pair of good shoes for 81, was
sign that attracted the attention of
a reporter Us he walked down Wash
ington street few mornings ago. AS
the shoes, to all appearances, seemed
to be worth many times their adver-
tised price the reporter stepped in and
asked the proprietor how he could af-
ford to sell such shoe at such a cheap
price.
Cheap answered the proprietoro
laughing, "'why, that is the most ex-
pensiYe shoe we have in the house.
Moreover, it is the most expensive
shoe in all Boston. The shoe sells for
81. 1t is worth fifty cents. Its uppers
are made out of the very cheapest sort
of leather, generally rOttOn, and its
soles are almost all paper. One good
wetting will make the whole shoe fall
to pieces. But my trade demands ita
There are always persons who bug q
thing, no matter whether they want iS
or not, simply because they see it ads
vertised as cheap. Then, again, there
is that much larger class of persons
who believe in handsomely clothing
their barkeepers while they themselves
go in rags. These people invariably
buy that shoe, and then go and spend
what would get them "A really good
shoe on triBcs. 1 say frankly that
no 81 shoe is worth buying. Nor =
any 81 shoe worth buying. There ID
no greater mistake that persons can
possibly make than to buy excessively
cheap goods. But, of course. this i'd lea
of getting good things can be, and
very often is, carried too far. Very
few persons, and some who can really
i'll afford to do so, pay $40 and $12 for
- pair of shoes. No shoe can be made
that is worth over 81. All over that
amount is profit, and giving $12 for
any shoe on earth is just simply throw
ing away $5.-BostOn Herald. .
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
Antiquity of Needle-Work.

Needle-work is as old as Eve; fancy
needle-wOrk, however, is probably not
quite so old, so that even the elder of
the two is Il trifle younger than the
hills, by whose age it is a popular Gus
tom to measure time. George Sand,
in her autobiography, says of needle
work: Il think that this exercise has
a natural attraction for women, an in
visible charm, which 1 have felt. at
every period of my life and which has
tranquilized my strongest agitation.
Another writer says: 1.-The woman
who has mind too lofty to be occupied
in the needles cunning handiwork may
be all that is estimable, all that IS
lovely and all that is amiable. but she
is trying person to stay with in wet
weather at a country house. She may
be a helpmate for a man. but no woman
would choose her for a lifelong COM
paniOn.--N. Y. Herald
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1887-06-16
BEAUTIFUL MAY.

"rve written poemr She opened her eyos;
"Why, how do You like it," she asked in sur
prise;
81 didn't know, really, you ever wrote verse;
Hope it's not long, for like poems terse."
"rve written little" he modestly said,
-'Before this, though none OF 1t ever was read;
But this one, honestly think, is quite good;
I'd like you to read it, that is, if you would"
-'You couldn't have thought I would answer
you no;
OF course will h ear it; it's done well. know:
But what is the subject, some deed of a fray!'
He smiled as he answered, MY Beautiful
May"
She listened to catch every word that he said,
With eyes shining brightly and partly dropped
head;
The poem he read was q spring roundelay,
A tribute OF verse TO the beautiful May.
He fnished-"How do you like it?'' he said.
It's 1ovely'-shc lifted her half-drooptng
head
~But, really" she added, the mischievous
tease
''You didn't tell what was her other rame,
please:''
Boston Budget.