The Asheville citizen. [volume] (Asheville, N.C.) 1885-1889, 1887-03-13

known in all those parts ever sine
as The Great Heffer Case" Th
two litigants were on hand witt
their tale of witnesses and thei
troops of friends-Sam Skinner, tin
plaintiff, with an aggressive ant
knowing look upon his face, anc
Nose Monroe, seeming to be a
quietly confident asif the.case hac
been tried and won. The heife
was behind the shop, tied in the
"jam ov the fence" Two youthful
lawy>=s from the county town, were
arranging::an armfulIof books on the
vacant spaces of the work bench
not occupied already by prominent
citizens of the Courts own majestic
person. A deep silence prevailed
after court was openeas
Wel gentlemen, air'eouzseady tc
try this case about the roam heffer?'
said the Squire when he had found
the proper spot to serve as a bridge
for the speetacles on his Roman
nose.
> Both sides answered Ready"
without delay, and the young law
vera opened the case to the COM
prehension of the court in many
words, and with much quotation
from their books to sustain the po-
sitions they expected to occupy.
Then the witnesses were sworn and
the trial began.
Inst hor> ~ ;oIos = "
Lltt'" - 49," = ,.Gchs,n'. r
their iearIl,ng. Each objected to
every question asked by the other,
and to every answer of Il witness in
favor of the other side. Long-win-
ded speeches were made pro and con,
and hair-splitting passages were read
in support thereof from Stephens
and ChittY.. much to the wonder
ment ofthe crowd, which had re>
turned from an inspection of the
helfer and overfowed the interior of
the shop. s.WitnessesIwere badgered !;
technicalities of all sorts were lugg-
ed in, and every device their inge.
nuity could suggest was brought to
bear to obscure the case and con-
vince the bystanders ofthe wonders
full and mysterious unwisdom of the
law.
The learned judge grew restive, in
time, of their quibbling. Finally
he took the bit in his own teeth.
AS Uncle Billy Willis reported it
afterward::< -.
"He jest rared back on his pas
tern jints-Squire johnson did, and
sizzer. Gentlemen, this court sets
here to fine out whose roam heffer
that Is, an it's a-goin' to fine out,
an don't want no dust throwed in
its eyes by nobody. Every witness
has got to tell all he knows about
the case, an nobody shan't interfere
with him in tellin' ov it; an if he
don't tell he's got to GO to Jail, an
A1a%5e~fIl send two or three law
yers along to keep him company.
Now jest keep this in mind and let
them witnesses tell ther tale. There's
a heap Cv excitement about this case
an some chance oy a feud CROWN
up outen it. I don'1 Intend to have
men a-huntin' one another with
guns in Lick Creek deestrict eff l can
help it, an 1 think l kin. This
courts a going to fine out all about
that heffer, an settle this case for
good an | 'Tant it understood now,
that the courts a-goin' to end the
thing, an the man that takes an ap-
peal from my Judgment has got this
court to whip in n far an sq1ar
fight before he gifts a copy of the
Judgment
The Squire was known to be
pretty tough citizen in rough>and
tumble fight, and not given to eat
ing his own words so the trial went
on with very lIItle friction after this
Geliverance from the bench.
But it was very puzzling case,
and the more evidence was heard
the more the doubt grew as to
whose title to the little roam heifer
was the better. There was just a
bakers dozen of witnesses on each
side. Both men reasoned from past
experience both reasoned alike,
and both came to the same eohclu-
sion. Each man believed that his
opponent would have dozen wit.
nesses, and therefore added one to
mis- own side, making thirteen.
The heifer was led into court, and
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