Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-05-05

SQurBs
A seal skin A notary public.
4 cOlOred swell a black eve

IolucS an PATRIOTISM by long shot.
Always has a pryor engog ement-
crowbar
Every raan should be his own pyo..ibi
zionist.
A good dripkroej jersey hghtning viii
make aman feS like thqgdeT,, y,
A dollar goes faSther than it used TO,
and it makes the'distahee quick, time
None of us are sspoor that we can't
pay compliment when itls ,dpeEo
Foot reading is the latest kind, -Nerily
these are times that tFg msn : s9pls,
When man RRandops N Rert order
to improve it he geueTaIfy succeeds
The Cologne Gazette shoufG 81 IN good
cdor with the German lsoxernment.
The man who thinks that the world
owes him a living as general rule never
collects the bill,
The Philadelphia Press does up the
boston symphony fddlers in this fashion
We came, We sawed, we conquered
The Inter State Commerce law does
not prohibit the passing of cold waves AIN
over the country. .I'
Any one who wants partner in the
show business should look up q contov.
ZIONIST, He will always be found ready to
double up.
Define a monstrosity.n said the teach
or. and the children all replied in a ring
ing chorus; IAN Insurance agent with
the mumps."
"The Writer" has an article on How
to Got into Print aud yet does not re-
commend the most direct and expeditions
method to appear as a simple drunk
4 school OF journalism has been started
in London Every one who has ever al
tempted to reod an English paper win
admit that the school has a broad field
before 1t.
paper in New Mexico gays the climate
Of that Territory is the finest in the world
for marrping. The paper, however, fails
TO say weather the climate is cold or
simply bracing.
A Key Nest Eiau wuo was in New Totlg
refused 60 eat mock turtle soup on nc
count of the apparent injustice to tho
real turtle, who is doing his best TO push
business and build Up market.
A Chicago Congregational preacher
was in some mysterious manner knocked
down tho other day aud no one can i'm
agin how il happened, Perhaps Henry
Ward Beeohers mantle fell on him.
THAT new dentist who came TO town
last week is going 20 make business hum, {"
said tAe new postmaster How sorr
said the paison. why he has sign out,
Teeth extracted while you watt He's
rustlern
There's big difference between a tray-
| cling salesman and drummer. Tho
drummer sells car loads OF goods and gets
his salary raised, while the travelling sales-
man doesn't earn his ssIt,,p nd gets dis
charged
The fact thet Mrs, James Brown Potteris
portrait has not yet appeared in Lon
don soap advertisement is pretty couclu
| sive evidence that her debut ON the stage,
over there has not been m overwhelming
success.
Indy shopptrIlhm looking Tor wed
/ ding present
Druggist You sore fortunate in com
ing here, madam Wa have Just laid in "a
large stock of lhe.latest hair rest0rer.
a man III CINCINNATI named Jarvis
makes it his whole business 20 hunt out
men with brck.culorcd Nhiskers aud
knock them into tse middle Of next weell
when found What broad field he
would have in Scotland,
Robortei What feet do YOU think the
Interstate Commerce bill will have upon
the drama! TraRe iiau-lt will NOT
crush Melpomen6. II will not affect IA.
Repofaer-'-Nhy sinotfu Tragedian Be
cause the new law dqeaFot say anything
about walking.
pl"Mili goa trl.t may fanniefn he cried
passiqnately gfaf ping her hapd. "With
all my soul, with all myself" she VIII ispef-
ed, nesting on his manly bosom. "Woald
to heaven } on we're my tailpr," he mur-
INJURED soto yoce, and tenderly he took
her 30 his arms ''H
james, said theitigh school girl to-
her brother, Il wish you would ebonize
my pedal integuments FOR me-
oh, Pm no dentist replied Jim
"A dentist only want you to black
my shoes
Then ~hy doh YOU talk United States
and eay so;"
'Does prohibition PtohibrY" he do.
mRnded ~ he glared around rs there y
city Br town in any prohibition State
where you can't buy glass Of whiskeyt"
Owe cen IN 0 hundred towns where
couldn't" answered o tai, lean tramp OR
the outskirts Of The group, "Why couldn't
you why siryn ''Because didn't have
n nickel ,..t
Four ears old Susie had done some
thing wrong, bat her mother had for
given her and promised not to tell hcr
pa .sy
ooh, MAJ she exclaimed, as n flioughi
struck her, "whtn paldies viii the lord
tell him what didf' s,.
yes" / think TO WILL sand the mother
"Well," said susie, after another long
pause, u think he is a regular tattletaie,
don't yogi'
Visitor lin penitentiary) My good
friend, what brought you to this placer
Convict Bank burglary, sir.
Visitor And you look back on your
past life with regret and shame;
well, l dunno, sir. Ten years ago
was uothin but common sneak thief,
ar now I'm up for bank burglary. No
thin TO DO ashamed of about that"
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The Ingenuity Of swindlers.