The Grenada gazette., 1887-09-24
TAKING THINGS COOLLY
A Collection Of Several Humorous
Incidents.

| are fond OF relatlnS humorous llLCle III
,cilonts of sang .froid in which an En-
glishmsn usually acts the role of chief
character As. for instance: A man
entered furniture-shop and said:
Have you any old furniture?" mo.
sir; but we can make you some! This
reminds us of the Englishman in q
ros.aurant who called for stale bread.
,AWe have none. my lord" make
some, then; l will wait" was the calm
reply. Instances of remarkable cool
ness and assurance amongst advent
iarcrs "out West" are only to be ex-
ected. To begin with small exam
pic. A boy who comes Of ehronically-
borrowing family, went to a neighbor's
for a cupof sour milk. "Lhaven't got
anything but sweet milk" said the
woman, pettishly. "Tll wait till it
sours." said the obliging youth. sink
Ing into a chair.
But in many of the cases now under
consideration. foreigners Of several
nationalities will be found to have
.fgurci conspicuously in the matter Of
taking things coolly.
1t is related that lady and gentle
man came to ferry, and the boatman.
,dcputed his grandson to row them
across why do you not manage
your boat yourself" asked the lady,
"instcad of letting this child do it?"
"0h. don't you be afraid. ma a'sm"
answered tho ferryman; ''the lad can
swim"
Equally Indifferent to the fato Of
others was one of the sufferers by a
late railway accident He was seen
rushing anxiously about when some
one asked il he was hurt. mo; but l
cant find my umbrella"
About a year ago. when the upper
part of an hotea was on fire. one of the
servant-girls was directed to awaken
two gentlemen who were asleep IN an
upstairs room. She knocked at the
door, and, with the greatest simplicity,
said: II beg pardon, gentlemen. for
disturbing you. but the house is on
fire." This case OF what may be called
.lplicrous politeness brings to mind an
other. Hi! you dropped brick up
therev' shouted q pedestrian OH whose
shoulder one Of those articles had fall
kn from a three.s,ory scafold. "All
right" cheerfully responded the brick
layer; ''you needn't take the trouble to
bring itup."
What is tho mstterp" asked a law
yer Of his coachman. Tho horses are
running away SIR" Cant you pull
them upe" II am afraid not
Then" said the lawyer. after judicial
delay, run into something cheap"
Lawyers remind us Of judicial mat
tew. and tho latter have often to do
with the career of burglars To one
'si these nocturnal visitors. who had
Entered = gentleman's bedroom, and
was seen standing in front Of tho
bcreau, the question was put by the
reused sleeper: well. what do you
want herce" Il want money and
londs." hissod tho burglar. through
his clinchcd teeth. "and quick about
1T too" my friend" returned the
occupant Of the bed. '.rve been look
ing for those things for the last
'swonty ycars without success. But
80 on with your burglary: I'm sleepy"
Another cool business charaoter. on
leaving tho city for . trip to Paris
will, his family, placed placard just
inside tho hall door. conched in the
following language: ITO Burglars
All my plated jewelry and other valu-
ables are in the Safe Deposit Compa-
ay's Vaults Tho trunks cupboards.
90. contain nothing but secondhand
clothing, too bulky to remove. on
which you would realize but little.
Inc keys arc In the left.hand top
drawer Of tho sids.board. You will
aso find there . check TO the bearer
Ur twenty pounda which will relnune-
sSso You for yer ~ Of tims and dis