St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1887-04-30
LlMEKILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Furnishes Il Wresch Found
Guilty of Stealing an Umbrella.

Brother Gardner Furnishes Il Wresch FOUND
Guilty of Stealing an Umbrella.
Previous to the opening of the meet
ing Brother Gardner. Sir Isaac Wal
pole and Wavdown Bebee were seen in
earnest conversation around the presl-
dents desk, and when the triangle
sounded it was pretty we'll understood
throughout the room that some mat
ter of gravest Importance was on the
tapis. One individual seemed to feel
even more than a lively curiosity.
This was Brother Process Davis, 4
member of about six months standing.
He damned himself into q corner and
tried to appear rs small as possible,
and when inquiries were made about
his sore heel he let on that he had an
awful toothache and didn't want to
talk. Scarcely had the meeting open
ed when he was called to appear at thu
presidents desk. The look of terror
which came to his face as he rose up
proved that he regarded the matter i'll
q very serious light, and he shutfied up
the long aisle like one going to an exc
cution.
"Bruddcr Process Davis" said The
president in very solemn tones, Eat one
of our weekly meetin's last fall, an as
we war about to disperse to our homes,
Sir Isaac Walpole diskibered dat his
umbrcler was missin'. 1t was an UNI
breller wild Il white bone handle. an it
was an heirloom in his family. His
gran fadder had walked under dat UNI
breller an it had kept de rain off his
faddcr. an he himself had owned it fur
nigh upon thirty ars. 1t had been left
in kyars an on steamboats, an on de
front doah steps, an nobody had took
it. He had brung it down heah two
hundred times, an it war allus waitin'
fur him when he got ready to 60 home.
At las some one stole it-some human
hyena laid his dcsecrated paws on dat
sacred reflex an bore it off. We made
cherry effort to find it, but de hunt was
in vain. Den we settled down to wait
for Justice. She nebber sleeps. She
sometimes does a good deal of foolin'
around, an dar am sometimes a mighty
long wait between de ackts, but she
nebber sleeps. She didn't 60 to sleep
dis time. She war lookin' fur you, an
yesterday she oberhauled you. You
had Sir Isaac's umbreller under yer
arm. Heah am de libin' proof to con-
Wet YOU. You are de hyena who stole
it, an you are now befo' de bar of
Justice! Prisoner, how do you plead?"
Process stood there with his mouth
open and could not reply. The sudden
shock seemed to have paralyzed him.
His guilt was as plain as the hind but
tons on coat
''De pusson who will steal an UNI
breller under any circumstances, con-
tinued the president, ''desarves combine
punishment. In dis case you stole it
from fellow-member of society, an
you added de sin of lynn to your crime.
Your name will be crossed off our
books, an you will enter dis hall no
mo- foreber. De carryin' out of de rest
of de sentence am left to Giveadam
Jones an Hercules Johnson
The prisoner was removed to the
ante-room, and about minute later
Paradise Hall was shaken from roof to
cellar. This was followed by bump
ing sound on the stairs leading to the
alley, and this again by the sound of
fee making a rush for life. Brother
Process Davis will doubtless remain in
Canada during the rest of his life
Detroit Free Press.