Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-07-13
Mr.. AND MRS. BOWSER

And made the burden ligh ter.
MR.. AND MRS. B0WSER
Some weeks ago referred to Mr.. Bow
ser's liberality in the matter of pin money.
He began in the most liberal manner, but
ended with the declaration:
"See here, Mrs. Bowser, this is all nom
sense We are one. What belongs to me
belongs to you. This giving you certain
sum Of money every week makes it appear
as if you were servant. When you want
money take it out of my wallet. If you
can't find the wallet, just mention the sum
you want"
"But, Mr.. Bowser, -
''No butts about it ! You were going to
say you hated to be obliged to ask me for
money!, your own husband When a
wife gets as sensitive as that she should
be obliged to 30 barefooted for three
months in winter p
1 let the matter drop for few days, but
one day when / wanted dollars to buy
some notions I went to Mr.. Bowser's coat,
which was hanging on the hall-tree for the
moment, and took out the family wallet
No, didn't, either. 1t wasn't there. I
decided to wait awhile, and that night,
when Mr.. Bowser was sound asleep and
blowing his fog-hmn, got up to look for
his wallet. 1t couldn't be found. All the
money he had about him was one poor,
old lonesome nickel. was wondering
whether half Of that belonged to me or not,
when the fog-horn ceased to toot and Mr..
Bowser rose up in bed and shouted
"What in blankety blazes are you doing
with my clothss?'
81 wanted the family wallet ~
ooh you did You get up at midnight
to rob your husband, do you?''
"But half the money is mine"
'Mrs. Bowser, you drop that coat and
jump into this bed as quick as heaven will
let you, and if l ever catch you trying to
rob me again I'll apply for divorce within
an hour !"
When he thought was asleep he slipped
out of bed and sook the wallet from under
the dresser, where he had carefully hidden
it, and inspect the contents to see if any
thing was gone. had firmly made up
my mind never to ask him for a cent, but
next day he seemed 80 good-natured that
I ventured to say:
'There are several little things badly
need, and as I am going down town this
afternoon I'd better buy them"
t'Certainly, my love. Will five do?"
"Oh, yes"
Gail r;ght-here it is. If five isn't
enough take ten."
took five and was just making out a
list of articles which proposed to buy
when Mr.. Bowser came in with q bill in
his hand and said:
"Here's the shade tree man after his pay.
You may give me that five and I'll give
you three silver dollars.
An hour later he sent up dollars worth
of strawberries accompanied by a note ask
ing me to pay for them, and so I got down
town with only two dollars in my pocket.
l made them go as far as possible, and was
rather proud Of my purchases when I got
home. I had them spread out on the table
in the sitting room when Mr.. Bowser came
rushing in with:
s'Say that colored man is through clean
ing up the alley, and can't make change
with him. Haven't you got dollar and a
half of that money?'
"Why, nsw
"Nor dollar ?''
money That's just as I expected
was told when married you that I'd bring
up in the poor house inside of ten years,
and begin to believe it was true predic-
tion -
"But, Mr.. Bowser, you only gave me two
dol"
He sgsne before I had finished the
sentence, and during all the evening he
| hadn't word to say. l think he felt
conscience-stricksn, however, for next day
he said
"Mrs. Bowser, you have the look of q
child, and you don't know the villainy of
this world any more than a child seven
years old. What object TO is the way
these dry goods clerks swindle you. They
take every advantage of your greenness,
and when they cheat you they rob me-"
| "But have been cheated?"
"HaYe you! What did you eyer buy
that you were not cheated? Mrs. Bowser,
you are no more fit to walk into dry
goods store with $40 bill in your purse
than our old cat is to judge of lawn
mower! After this will do the buying.
Is anything needed just now ?"
"Why, baby ought to have some new
every well; I'll see to it.'
I knew about what would happen. He
slipped off early next morning, and was
homo by 10 o'clock with back-load of dry
goods.
ssDresses for the baby" he observed a.
he united the package. "What do you
think of this-and this-and this? Col
ten per cent. off on each pattern and saw
to it that the measure was full"
He held up seven yards of alpaca, pat
tern in green worsted, a third in striped
summer silk, fourth in second mourning
calico, the fifth and last in satin, which
was as stiff as Brussels carpet"
"Mr. Bowser, what on earth have
you-W
"And here's stockings for him-red,
white, blue, green orange, terra.cotta and
black. don't propose that any young'uI
of mine shall go barefoot"
!, ooh! Mr.. Bowser, you-you-"
"And here 8. three green tableclothes and
two dozen red napkins to match, and.
what ails you how ?"
"N-nothipg
! "Didn't get enough?"
"But we can't use these things-not
single article ~
He looked at me in wild-eyed way TO
half minute, and then sailed the greeE
$ tablecloths and red napkins through ths
! air into the parlor and said: r.
. "That's the last time you can make
, fool of me Don't never ask me to d.
' any more trading for you while We hve TO
gether, for wouldn't do it to save you
\ neck I've saved at least $5 over whs
you could have done, and yet you lind faui
? and show your insane jsalously P'-Vssroi
Frss Press.