Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-10-26
HrrH IND POINT.

~ - ~
KISSES between women are mere
formalities. They excite mems envy,
nevertheless.
A WOMAN looks beneath the bed for .
man. A man goes out between the scts
TO look for him.
PRIDE is stronger than poverty.
When they are associated, the latter is
always kept out of sight.
"THERE goes the champion light
weight "That SO? He don't look
much like . fighter" He isn't; he's q
coal dealer"
"WHo is that pretty girl you walked
home from church with last Sundays"
ooh, she sings in the choir" "Ah,
yes, / sea chants acquaintance"
THE doleful sons. Of overy drone
Whose chance has left him al too soon,
Ii whined in dreary minor tone
And mostly called inopportuns.
-Teras Sifttn0s.
IT was doubtless the briefiess bar
rister who wrote the hymn beginning:
Just as I am without one Plea"
-1eras Sittings.
JAcK-What! Are you smoking
cigarettes? Harry-Yes, dash it all!
Cora refused my offer of marriage last
night, and I don't care what becomes
Of me,-Tid-Bits.
The man who can preserve his dig
nifty after his hat has been blown off
and crushed under the wheels of q pass
ing vehicle, is eligible for membership
in the Concord School OF Philosophy.
HARRIET BEEcHER STOWE has never
been sorry that she wrote "Uncle Toms
Cabin" from which we infer that she
has never seen it played by any port
able theatrical company. - Detroit
Tribune.
LIFE is short, and women are many.
Most men have not time for more
than o superficial examination of each
one of their fair friends, and to her who
crowds her best goods into the show
case is awarded the highest prize
Hebrew Standard.
REPORTER interviewing rich MANI
You began life ~barefooted, and worked
for dollar q week. I believer "No,
sir, / didn't" "Well, that will have to
go in. anyway. They all do it. and if
we should make an exception in your
case, our readers would complain"
The editor of o London journal, who
has doubtless been reading the Chicago
papers, prints the following under the
head of "Foreign Agricultural Items"
I'm consequence of the drouth it is
thought that the st. Louis hay crop
will be q failure" - ArkGnsaw
Traveller.
AN exchange says "if 80, OOO, 900 peo-
pie should clasp hands, they could
reach round the globe" May be so
but we shall not engage in the expert
ment of clasping hands, for somebody
would be sure to steal u diamonds
and pick u pockets. -Ne,cman hide
pendent
MAMMA Ito little Joy, aged 4, who
wants to stay in bed)-Come, dearie,
it 10 time now to get up. Don't you
hear that robin outside your window Z
He says, Get up, get up, get up now.
get up quick" Joy listening thought
fully)-Yes, / hear him; but he says il
to his own children.
LOVERS are prone to self-depreciation.
Said he, tenderly, as they sat looking
ct the stars: II do not understand
what you can see in me that you love
me?" "That's what everybody saws, 7"
gurgled the ingenious maiden. Then
the silence became SO deep that you
could hear the stars twinkling. -Bos-
ton Courier.
DURING the performance at the re-
opening of the Eden Theater, ct
Brussels, the whole of the papering on
the ceiling fell down iu one piece,
probably on account of the heat, and
covered all the occupants of the stalls
and pit. The tumrlt that ensued under
this paper blanket beggars description.
-L'Independance.
A MAN at Plainfeld desired to leave
his travelling bag aAd overcoat while he
walked to o place five miles distant.
He put them in o field, unprotected
from thieves except by the sign: "Small-
pox-Beware! !" and when he returned
| they were there in the field. But they
were twenty feet under ground, buried
by health officers
ELKToN claims to have q man ia
years old. He walks to town everv
election day and votes the straight
| Democratic ticket. He also walks in
about once q month and inquiries
when they are going to hold another
election, or if they can't have q special
election. It is also reported that he
recently took q son of his, aged "a,
across his knee and administered a
sound rebuke. The son says he'll wait
till he's o little older before he tackles
his father again. It seems the boy
went in swimming when his father had