The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-03-17
THE MERRY SIDE I

Stop to think, before making an unjust re-
mark-and you won't make it.
y IL 4"
The man who tries to build him self up is
! wise. He who tries to sneer at others is fool.
Young man, you can never make up in wind
what you lack in brains-remember this fact.
| -
There was a big surprise party at the home of
a Cincinnati man last week. The man got
sober.
Virtues are pretty little sails, floating about
upon the sea of life. You'll scarcely capture
| them all.
Columbus Doctors are suing one another for
| being called quacks. This promises to be an
endless legal war.
Chicago will found a training school for
missionaries. The field is all ready for them to
step into.
A Boston dude had rabbits eye planted in
his head. It made better m atch for hi ears
than the old one.
A Kentuckian has presented the Pres iden
with a reel-but a "reel" only costs twenty
cents in Kentucky.
A dispatch says "Ex-President Hayes has
struck gas' Has he and Carl Schurz had
another meeting?
The Temperance people will make fight for
Prohibition in Texas. Take the whisky out of
Texas, and what's left.
Gen. Fitz Lee says he ais not disturbed" about
being nominated for Viee-President next year.
Neither is the country.
The tim. of year has arrived when sugar trees
running. The Chicago Anarchists are also
flowing at the mouth.
Nina Van Zandt was permitted to see Spies
and talk to him, in the Chicago Jail. He prob
ably told her she was fool.
Cleveland will soon go fishing. While he is
away in the wilderness, the Republicans will
be fishing too-for his office.
Mrs. Parsons, Anarchist, went to Columbus to
lecture. She hasn't lectured yet. She's waiting
to get out of the city prison.
1t didn't take Democratic Judge long to
settle the Tally-Sheet Cases at Columbus. He
just threw them out of Court.
There may be those who are displeasedl with
Sherman IS present tour through the South-but
they candidates for the Presidency.
-.
A correspondent asks & Cincinnati paper
what 'a point" is. That man evidently never
taught a school attended by bad boy.
John Sherman enabled the Republican party
TO resume specie payments-he can enable it to
resume control of the Government.
-.s
Halstead is the skunk which steps into the
political parlor and says; 'tNow everybody that
don't like the smell. get outT'
dispatch says "Chicago is Short this season,
seven hundred thousand hogs" We hope this
refers TO the pork packing business.
<.-
Memphis is raising bloodhounds to track
criminals. The first time the dogs are turned
into the streets OF Memphis they will go crazy.
at ought to be Sherman, it must be Sher-
man, it will be Sherman. .''-G GBucyrus journal.
Well, what's the matter with you? Who's
disputing it?
Oscar Neebe, the Chicago Anarchist, was per-
mitted to go, under guard, and see his dead
wife, 1t was his last look at her. She was
good woman.
Speaking of Marrow Escapes" during the |
war Jackson county man had one. He es-
capped just as the drafting officers got in sight.
-
The Ruler of the Universe is good to the |
righteous. He permitted Beecher to die before |
he saw his picture in the Commercial Gazette. !
Tom Reed, of Urbana, sued man for ten |
thousand dollars for blacking his eye. II would
seem by this that the mans vision was not les
sened any.
Wolseley thinks Lee ought to have s.drawn
Grant further away from his supplies" Yes,
that would have been a good idea-Johnston
tried that with Sherman.
South Carolina is still shaking Tney cal
these Southern shakes "earthquak esq but it's
probably some of the old sgue the Northern
boys failed TO carry away at the close of the
war.
Senator Jones, of Florida, after loafng in
Michigan all winter, event home to EXPLAIN
But explanation was unnecessary-they had
elected another man.
Now" said the m mister, "a moment of
silent pl aver" Immediately there was yell of
'amens" that lifted the congregation from its
Knees.
Cleveland knows how to rub it in on the
Democrats. Not being satisfied with simply
rowding out Democrats, he imported a "nig-
'er" and gave him an appointment in the Dis
rict. |
Halstead has put the Republicans in a Gin S
,innau beer-bottle, and is frantically endeavor-
ng to cork them up. The Standard is watching
he circus fIom "the old camp ground.'
'Now," said Western Minister to his con- G
regation, 81 want you to shake hands with =.
very sinner in the house !'-that meeting was
roken up. The crowd made rush for the L
Amen" Corner. L
The Sunday School Teacher was lecturing the t
upils upon the wonderful salvation made 7
ossible by the atonement.
"How can be saved and how will know
!? asked little girl.
The Teacher changed the subject.
81 l.
A fierce Deputy Constable" at Mlllersburg, {
indiana. failing to stop a man who was cross q
ng the river, shot and killed his little boy. The
majesty OF the law must be vindicated! II
Robert Nielsen. of st. Louis, applied for a di- o
orce from his wife, and before they could give C
to him, committed suicide. This method of y
nding family quarrels will doubtless be quite
opular-With the women, D
Some of the State Senators did not like the ,
-rnett bill because of the extra work it would N
lake for teachers. The Devil takes wonder.
IL interest in the Schools.
They are going to run fast mail train from - -
ersey City to Kansas City, ,34S miles, in forty
ours. This will be very great injustice How c.
an engineer and conductor take drink at
very station, and still average 80 to 40 miles an
our?
Do you want to run for office this spring?
hen We'll tell you how TO come out. Just go
your friends, individually, take each one off ]
one side, and urge him to be candidate. r