The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-11-09
MISCELLANEOUS READING.
WIT AND HUMOR.

Dun drawing out a bilD-''Excuse
me, sir" PerpleXed debtor (hurrying
away)-'Pray, don't mention it"
He-"What Il pretty FAM She
"Yes, | had it given to me when | first
came OUT He-"Really! 1t has worn
wellr'-Punch.
The Norristown Herald suggests that
the name of Washington Territory be
changed to Yum-Yum in Difference to
the present japanese craze.
A Florida hen having laid two eggs
in one day it is understood that she will
be boycotted by the Knights of Labor
for overproduction. Brooklyn Eagle.
"My pa" said one small boy, ''is a
preacher, and is sure to 90 to heaven. "
Huh" said the other small boy, 'that
amt nothin'. My pa is Il doctor and
can kill your old pa. :"
''What was the cause of the death OF
Rackets, the ball-player?" 30, he went
out of his hcad-had something wrong
at the base OF the brain. - ''Ah, went
out on base, ch?"
At the bric-a-brac dealers: 80. what
n delicious little vase. 1t is very old,
isn't it?" mo, madame, it was made
recently" "Ah, what Il pity! 1t is so
beautiful. ''-PayfS Letter.
A Western paper speaks of people
''of good birth" in the city wherein it is
published. "Sir," SAID DR.. johnson,
''any man is well born who is born at
all. "-BoSton Transcript.
A new English dictionary containing
100000 words is about to be published.
This seems to be direct effort on the
part of the learned author to curry favor
with Senator Evarts and the man who
is moving.
'What are the Blenkinsop girls in
mourning for?" Their parrot" "In
mourning for a parrot rot Why, it's a
could repeat the Lords Prayer, you
know. "-Iot0n Topics.
A South Carolina negro, on trial for
purloining chickens, saved himself by
an alibi. He proved that at the time
specified he was in another county, on
his way home with pair of chickens
which he had 'found"
'Were there any striking periods in
Mr.. Evarts' speech?" asked the stranger.
go, no; there were no periods at all"
explained the obliging gentleman,
nothing but commas and semicolons. "
Hatchet.
"Are you member of the Knights of
Labor" mo, but | had one last
week. " Had one. What do you
mean?" Had night of labor My
baby had the collie from o'clock until
"-Ne10 York Graphic.
thereafter" says an exchange, sex
for admission to Harvard
College will be held in Paris. We pre-
sumo this is to prevent the young GEN
tlemen from getting hold of the papers
beforehand. -BurtiagtoR Free Press.
Little Algy-"Say, Jimmy, you come
around to my house some time an I'll
show YOU my pas diploma what ne cot
in college" Hump! That
amt nothing. Wait till you sec nv
pas divorce papers. y Chicago Rambler.
whats the name of Your horse?n
asked Jones of Brown, after he had
driven around him once or twice on the
lOdtl. tOuUItSS. II uTnN name.
What do you call him that for?" BE
cause he never passes anything. -
Critic.
The Buffalo Commercial published
an advertisement in which il was de-
dared that The hash table must be
in every particular. The
indignant advertiser convinced the bust
ness manager that he wrote 1.-THE house
and table must be first-class."
Are YOU philanthropist, sir?" asked
IN old gentleman of young man who
vas distributing a quantity of butter
scotch TO some little children in WASH
ngton Square. "Am | whatP' said
he young man. "A philanthropistP"
No, sir; I'm dentist. Puck.
French gallantry is proverbal. A
gentleman replying to an invitation TO
Inner writes: Madame, before thank
ne you for your kind invitation, permit