The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-12
THE FIT BUSINESS.
HOW DUBLIN PETE" GETS A LIVING
FROM THE SYMPATHETIC.

| An EpiIeptio Fit at a Minutes Notice,
| Taking Up Collection from Tender
! Hearted Crowd-The Business Growing
Doll.
"Do you see that fellow standing over there
reading9" said bartender in down town
saloon the other night. The man alluded to was
! standing with his back against the wall with
the paper so held up as to screen bis face from
view. He was of ordinary size, with nothing
about him to attract attention.
=" hat man has the most peculiar and novel
way of making living of any other man in
the United States. His name, as near as any
! body has ever been able to learn, Is Pete. ;
People that are familiar with him have
dubbed him Dublin Pete That's the town
in Ireland lie halls from. He makes good
living by having fits"
Having fits!'
eyes, sir, having fits. I don't wonder you
are surprised, but it is nevertheless a fact.
That man can take fit so naturally at a
minutes notice that no doctor in the CT y Of
New York would ever doubt but that it was
real epileptic fl5."
''Oh, it is not real fit, thenF'
Certainly not. 1t only looks like one; but
It's a daisy.n
GLOW does he make it payY
"Well, he can tell you that better than 1
could possibly explain it to you. Hey, Peter
The newspaper which the man had been
reading was dropped from before his face. 1t
certainly a tough looking countemance.
His head sunk down between his shoulder
blades, like tue head of a vulture, and was
bent forward in the same way His under
Jaw was longer than the upper one. and gave
F'in the apr-araoce OF bulldog with under
i-seth showing His little black eyes were
over~hadowed by a bullying forehead, and
5pIrKied nH5 f$'7fa e a shake. To make his
face sill more hideous his upper jaw was
tUtallv devoid Of teeth. Whenever he smiled
L., Hi0IstI. looked as though !. gas filed with
red funnel
'D'you twitter ter me, Rlly7" asked Pete,
os he bent his head still further forward,
stuck the upturned cigarette he was smoking
III the corner OF his mouth, and moved his
head from side to side, in the Bowery
manner.
eyes, come here and let me introduce you
to friend Of mine. He wants to talk with
you"
Dublin Pete" laid the newspaper on
chair, and staggered over'Ilze an old South
Sea whaler. There was broad grin Oh HIS
face. Shrewd wrinkles shot from the corners
of his eyes like the rays of a setting sun, and
his mouth assumed the shape OF the moon in
its first quarter, the corners trying to see how
near they could come to each eye. The
lip and worked up and down at every motion
Of his head.
"Proud ter know yer, young feller."
GLOW much did you make to-day Peteg"
asked the bartender
SWELL ter tell yer de trute, Billy, never
fought ter count up. l 'spnse | raked in
bout four DIS. Less see, answered the man
who has epileptic fits for a living, as he
screwed one side of his face into a hideous
Ii-&D Al.
his index finger, as if trying to call something
into recollection. "When l come to on de
Jersey ferryboat de guys TUX up a election
fer me of one and fifty C. Den wen
dropped on de floor of de Annex L scooped er
Caser Dat bloke on Whitehall street GIN
me feed an twenty-five c. Yes, dat's about
wat went inter me kick since marnin'. All
de business is gettin' dull Folks is droppin
onter me game"
Pete looked as though thoroughly dis
cOuraged at the dullness Of trade.
''How did you make the money! he was
asked
How does 1 make it, heyg" and {" Dublin
Pete" winked at the bartender, gave little
chuckle, and said Fits Yes sir, I'm de
head of de profesh i'll de fit business. How do
1 do it, Well, I jes' gets onto a ferry
boat where deres a gang NV women, an
when everything's quiet like an be boats in
de middle of de river / makes out like I'm
goin' out on de front end of de boat, and
when gifts i'll the middle of de floor I drops
down in a fit. Whiszy's brought an poured
down me troat, am when [ comes to aIlus
tells dem it's cause l amt eat nawthin' all
day. Den dey takes up election fer me.
Now you've got de whole racket"
care there any other men who earn money
by having fits9"
ais deya Well, I should smoker. Dere's
CT dem N CITY. bItt mona doY,o,S
de snap down fine but me. Pm de boss on
fits All er dem uses soap fer ter make de
foam come i'll der mouth. l don't. I makes
de genewine foam. No soap suds in mine
Nixey"
Pete turned his back to the bar, put his
thumbs in his srspenders and assumed an air
of superiority.
Don't you ever get spotted by people who
may have seen you before?"
''Wel, 1 should giggle."
Hedidn't giggle though, but edited the re-
porter with one OF his red flannel smiles.
Pete then related i'll his rough vernacular
all experience he had i'll going down one
day to Coney Island on board an excursion
boat He began TO sing, but finding no
money III his voice he fell TO the deck i'll a fit.
The steward, who had evidently seen him be-
fore, administered tumberful of salt water
and mustard which made him succunb.
"Wait minute" said the bartender, as the
Journalist was about taking his leave, land
I'll lock the door and ask Pete to show you
how he has fits"
Accordingly the door was locked and Pete
staggered TO the center OF the room, remark
ing:
an give it to you mild, so boiler when
you've got a dose"
Scarcely had he concluded when his form
bvc3iine li2id except his head, wLi,h turned
from s.>ie 70 side, his eyeboiis rolling until at
cinics only the whites were visible Suddenly,
With all uneaIjL!!yy Y Ii, ne fell TO the floor,
ana what appeared to Dc his head struck with
4 crash. lie kicked and gasped ana wlIggled
III Il pitjful manner, actually frOCSing az the
mouth. After a cry of Enough !" trom tue
reporter, lie slowly opened his eyes and looked