Signal-Copiahan. (Hazlehurst, Copiah County, Miss.) 1885-1888, 1887-09-22
FULL OF FUN.

"A nurse TO mind children" 1t was
probably inserted by tho children. -
Waterbury american.
"A Yankee has Just taught ducks to
swim In hot water with such success
that they lay boiled cggs.-Christian
at Work
When you speak Of milk and
water" affair. you do not intend to In.
fer that 1t will not 'hold water.
Yonkers Statesman.
Polite Observation-Disclosures. you
are too young to wear such unfashlon.
able jowelry; you must really permit
me to recommend new set"-M T.
journal.
-Visitor-"How much your hair Is
like your mother'sv' Little Girl
''Oh, no. It isn'tl Mammals comes of,
and mine tn Yonkers Statesman.
1t Is bad enough to have to live In
one-horse town. but life there ID
heavenly compared with existence In
a wheelbarrow village. Boston Jour.
nal Of Education.
Tho boy who has been in swim.
ming under the blazing sun may be
distinguished by his tendency to keep
away from tho back Of his shirt as
much as possible. CITY Blizzard.
lightning knocked over three men
who were sitting on boxes in front OF q
grocery store in Paterson. N. j. One
of them was knocked senscless The
other two exclaimed: "Leggo! Tn
comm right home. ."-Burlington Free
Press
The Ingenuity Of Woman.-
He would not say the words although
She did her best 70 please,
! So shs gave him pinch OF old Scotch snui-
And brought him 70 his sneeze.
Merchant Traucler.
"A Niles man who read in the paper
that no dog would become mad Il
given plenty Of water acted upon thu
suggestion and dropped his dog into
his ncighbor's well. 1t prevented th'
rabies. so far as the dog was concerned
but the neighbor was almighty mad.
Little Richmond is learning to rc'
cite. Like most children, he dislike.
the practice. and his small wits usually
devise way to get rid Of Il. ThiI
time 1t was Mary and her little lamb.
Richmond mused moment; then III
asked coolly: "Isn't Marys little
lamb most u sheep now. grandpa"-
Golden Days
There Is a use for cats and ne
,cssity for dogs; circumstances justify
babies and throw halo OF eXtenua'
ton about the milkman and tho fish.
mongcr. the "scissy grinder" and the
memder of old umbrellas; but he tina
keepcth a peacock within city limits Il
utterly without excuse. - Toronto
Globe.
Our shears are sadly In need o
sharpening. The rivct Is loose. ant
when we try to clip an article they
wobble through the paper like tur
key-gobbler with n sun stroke, ant
CRATE with an unearthly sound. Th'
process Of cutting has become so dis
agreeable that wo have been putting
In more original matter OF late.-Re6
ster's Weekly IN e..
National Characteristics. - A
Scotch and an Irish officer walking
through q street Of Liverpool chanced
to see n very pretty girl behind the
counter Of one Of the shops. The Irish
man at once proposed to so in and
purchase something in order to get
better view Of the beauty. but th'
Scotchman Enthusiastically ex
claimed: INA, ma; there's nae us'
wasting siller. Lats gang in and q,
twa saxpences for shillin'."-N J
Witness
Lord Dudley. one Of tho most ab
sent.minded Of men. was once paying
morning visit to the beautiful Lady
M. He sat an unconscionabl,
long time. and the lady. after givint
him some friendly hints, took up he
work and tried to make conversation
Lord Dudley broke long fit OF silenc'
by muttering: very pretty woman
this Lady NJ! She stays q devilisi
long time; I wish she'd 60" Hc
thought Lady M was paying him
visit IN his own house. -Arqonaut