Rock Island daily Argus., 1887-04-25
ENGLISH AS SHE is TAUGHT.

| A. Very Funny Compilation by Mark
Twain That In Also Hit at Methods
OF Teaehing---The Examples Fur
nished by Pupils.
| In the last number of the Century mag
szine Mark Twain gives exercises from
actual school work aud examination
papers to show how English is taught in
public schools The specimens are ir
resistibly funny. Here are some:
Demagogue, a vessel containing beer
and other liquids.
Capillary. caterpillar.
Republican, sinner mentioned in the
bible
Alias, good man in the bible.
Franchise, anything belonging to the
| French.
The marriage was illegible.
He enjoys riding on philosop er
They hsd strawberry vcstibule
He preached to an egregious congry ga
ton
The supercillious girl acted with vicis
situde when the perennial time came
There are good many donkeys in the
illogical gardens.
| Some of the best fossils are found in
theological cabinets.
Every sentence and name of God should
begin with a caterpillar.
Parallel lines are lines that can never
meet until they run together.
To find the number of square teet 10 Il
room you multiply the room by the mum
Der of the feet. The product is the re-
suit.
America is separated by Spain
The principal products of the United
States is earthquakes and volcanoes
The five seaports of the United States
are Newfunlan aud San!ranclsco.
In Austria the principal occupation is
gathering Austrich feathers.
Russia is very cold and tyranuical
The imports of the country are things
that are paid for, the exports are things
that are not.
Climate lasts all the time and weather
only few days.
The two most famous volcanoes in Eu-
rope are Sodom and Gomorrah.
The Indians pursued their warfare BY
| hiding in the bushes and scalping them
The Puritaus found au insane asylum
in the wilds of America
The stamp act was 10 make everybody
stamp all materials so they should he
null and void.
The middle ages come in between anti
guilty and prosperity.
Julius Caesar is noted for his famous
telegram dispatch came | saw | cen.
quered.
Greece had only seven wise men
The only form of government in Greece
was limited monkey.
| By the Ssiic law no woman 0i descend
ant of woman could occupy the throne
Edgar A. Pope was very curdlmg
| writer.
Ben Johuson survived Shakespeare IN
some respects.
Shakespeare translated the scriptures
and it was called St james because he
did it,
George Eliot left a wife and children
who mourned greatly for his genius
Thomas Darlington Makorlay gradu.
sted at Harvard and then studied law
He WAS raised TO the peerage AS baron in
1857 and died in 1176.
The bill becomes d law when the preSi-
dent vetoes it.
Congress is divided iuto civilized. half
civilized and savage.
The stomach is Il pear shaped bone
situated in the body.
In the stomach starch is changed to
cane sugar and cane sugar 10 sugar cane
The growth of the tooth begins in the
back of the mouth and extends to the
stomach.
The weight Of the earth is found by
comparing a mass of known lead with
mass of unknown lead.
And now comes one who IS striving to
equal the very college professor in the
luminous phraseul0ey of his definition:
Inertia is that property of bodies by vir>
Tue of which it cannot change its owu
condition of rest or motion IL other
words it is the negative quality of pas
siveuess either in recoverable latency or
lnsipient lstesence.