St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-07-07
HOW TO RUN A NEWSPAPER.


George William Curtis in Harpsr's Easy Chair.
A German newspaper recently pub
lished an amusing article upon the
willingness of its readers to conduct its
business. The article consisted of
cOntrasted passages from letters to the
editor.
Thus A writes: "You would oblige
your readers by publishing a few more
details about the laying out of the
Hofgarten."
By the same mail B says: "When
are you going to stop this eternal sub
ject of the HOfgarten 2"
G. darkly threatens "YOur paper is
so soft it is impossible to wrap any
thing up in it. If you cannot" etc.
newspapers for cleaning windows.
Could you not arrange to have it rath-
er sOfterq 2"
E also intimates plainly ~ am not
interested in your politics. If you can
not give more room to local matters,
and keep your politics in decent
bounds, shall be obliged" etc.
F will not always fOrbear "Why
don't you leave this local gossip alone,
which nobody cares to know, and in
crease the number of your foreign cor
respondents If these changes are
not made" etc.
G is of a rural turn 81 like your pa
per, but if you cannot, before long, ar
range to give agricultural news, l
shall be obliged" etc.
III is peremptOry "Why have you
no weather forecasts 2 | know they
are not very reliable, but l am inter-
ested in them, and if you cannot" etc.
This is delightfully."- like passage
from the Buchholz Family. 1t shows
with what innocent complacency the
reader scrutinizes his newspaper, as if
it were prepared especially for him,
under penalty of being called summa-
rily to account for anything which he
does not approve. You can see in i'm
aginatiOn the excellent reader, re-
tired merchant, young lawyer, a
sturdy mechanic, Major Pendennis at
the club, or Paterfamilias in his slip
pers, pishing and sputtering and snort
ing, and at last writing Indignantly to
the editor "Sir, you had better take
great care. | am not satisfied with
your paper this morning. l give you
| fair warning, and beg leave to say
that l advise you not to try my pa
thence too far. Expecting to see very
much better paper tomorrow, L am,
as you merit" etc.
Nature kindly provides such amuse
ments. There is no more entertaining
| figure than the man who writes indig
nantly to urge the editor to mind his
own business. The jest is that the
correspondent himself illustrates the
absurdity of not minding ones bust
ness. In writing his note he is zeal
ously minding the business of some
body else. 1t is the editors business
| to prepare the paper. If the major
does not like it he can "stOp it," But
does the major suppose that his indi
vidual distaste will outweigh the APP
prevail of the great diocese of the pa
per? 1t is like the comedy OF few
discontinued constituents demanding
the resignation of a representative as
not faithfully expressing the views of
his district. Are the three trim little
tailOrs of TOOley street the people of
England 2 Do the thousands of voters
who compose a constituency speak in
the personal dissatisfaction of hand
full of them7 The German newspaper
reveals to Major Pendennis and his
friends situation which they do not
suspect, but which is still the actual
situation. At the very instant that the
major is dashing off his epistle of
wrath at the failure of the paper to
give the least information in regard to
the new patent calves for the reduced
legs of elderly men about town, the
irascible colonel in the club opposite
is writing ferociOusly to the same pa
per that by if it doesn't stop it's
-- puffs of Nutbrown's ne plus
ultra wigs and all similar - haber
dashery, he will call at the Office and
ram the -- paper down the -
- throat of the editor.
The majors wrath is balanced per
contra by the colonel's, and each
speaks only for himself. And even
were it not so, human nature must be
considered, and counsel of this kind
addressed to fallible man, although an
editor, is very apt to lead to an equally
prOfane determination that the thing
complained of shall now Justify more
complaint than ever. If these bellig-
erent and truculent gentlemen should
undertake to direct the business of
everybody else as they attempt the di
rection of the newspaper they read,
and their course should be generally
followed, the result would be ludicrOus.
A photographer asked gentleman to
sit for his likeness, and the gentleman
assented upon condition that he should
pose himself as he chose. The pho
tographer agreed, provided that he
might pose the sitter for another like
ness. The sitter adjusted himself in a
position which seemed to him natural
and comfortable, and the negative was
taken. Then the photographer ad-
justed the sitter, and presently showed
the result of the two attempts. "That
is ridiculous" said the sitter, putting
one aside, "but this is very good"
eyes," said the photographer "tbe
first is your pose, the last is mine"
The sitter smiled good naturally, as if
struck by a thought. "Perhaps," said
the photographer, gently, ga man may
be assumed to understand his own
business" at is just what 1 was
thinking" replied the sitter, urbanely;
and upon reaching home he threw in
to the fire letter advising an editor
to leave out good many things in his
paper, and to insert others as per en-
closed memorandum.
The conduct of great journal is de-
termined by many considerations, and