The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1887-04-14
The Last Marriage Fee.
BY GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND.

In old times, when marriage licenses
had to be paid for, the Marylanders and
Virginians rode across the narrow from
tier in the valley and were married for
nothing in Pennsylvania. Of course,
they gave something to the preacher for
his trouble.
The consequence was that all the
preachers on the Maryland side of the
line became as lean as geese, and the
preachers across the line in Pennsyl-
vania grew as fat as turkey gobblers and
seemed to be burgomasters in good liv-
ing, like some of their forefathers in Ger
many. The marriage fees from Mary
land and Virginia made all the difference.
But there was one preacher near
Waynesboro' who did not grow fat.
Garrick Howton, who did the largest
business, became leane1 and leaner the
faster he married people. He was too
mean, the people said, to enjoy life like
a good Methodist itinerant or rubicund
priest. No chicken coops were agitated
at his approach. No little pigs squealed
and got under their anxious mammas
when Garrick leaned over the sty and
surveyed them.
He sold his pigs, kept his chickens to
lay, bought farms and turnpike stock and
walked the upper piazza of his house
with spy-glass to see if any wedding
couples were coming up from the South.
Nobody knew just what sect or church
Garrick belonged to there where every
body was his own theologian.
He called his church The Zionskites
and was the only one of 1.-THE bishop
indeed--except his son, Weasley How
ton, whom he called "the deacon"
The church building did not exist,
though branches of The Zionskite body
were said to be 'furder west' by both
the bishop and the deacon.
Inquisitive people limited that there
never would have been as many as
two Zionskites except for the fat mar
riage fees which were to be had along
Mason and Dixon's line and that Bishop
Garrick Howton only ordained his son
Weasley into the priesthood reluctantly
that he might occasionally take some rec
reation himself and not miss any run
away couples which should arrive be-
tween midnight and morning.
All people far and near understood
that the Howtons would marry anybody,
the delivery of the certificate being con-
ditional on the payment of the fee; and
inc to1y IN,
that in The Zionskite discipline the Ger
tifcate was part of the ceremony itself.
A story was started and grew that old
Howton married children for the sake of
his fees.
This story came up from sorrowing
and heart-broken parents in Virginia and
from the rich manors and hamlets' of
Frederick in Maryland. The Pennsyl-
yanians never verified these reports be-
cause it was none of their business
That was the golden age, when the peo-
pie of every State did to the people of
every other State just what they pleased,
and the boundary line made outrage JUS
tice or simplicity criminal.
Nobody crossed the line to call Bishop
Howton to account. All licensed clergy
men could marry; the bishop had
license signed by the deacon, his son,
and the deacon had license signed by
the bishop of "The Zionskite Purified
Order, Garrick Howton, First Temple
fungus"
II any preacher of large church
daTed to inquire into the subject he was
told that there bad been ''laying on of
hands,' and this sent him to the right
about, to be followed by the cruel insin-
uafion that his sole motive in question.
Ing "liberty of conscience" had been envy
Snd covetousness of Bishop Howton's
u6sriage fees.
Dtill, that idea of marrying children to
A6oieuing men had bad sound. 1t gave
= oGpefstitious name to Bishop Howton's
paFsonage." The runaway slaves from
a. old slave States knew and avoided
q ~ house, for they remembered how lit
~ Missy This or That had been spirited
Stw " reckless cousin or designing
Sysqsoer and made . wife in her early
" ~dat bad ole Bishop Howton."
3 ~ ~ could only get at himi" YVES
- Il nany' . preud, swed, hnnili-
- slenG ~ ehsnandoah or