Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1887-06-18
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THE best weather for hsy-making-
When it rains pitchforks.
aTHERE is something peculiar about
an army of Arabs, remarked the Judge.
3What is it?" asked the Major. at is
composed entirely of desert-ers.
In England they call elections that
are held to fill vacancies, "by-elec-
tons. 1t is strongly suspected that
some OF the elections to fill vacancies
in this country are buy-elections, too
Boston Courier.
HE-Olga, let us forget our little
quarrel of yesterday. See here, I have
bought you a small bracelet. She
Monsieur, after your rude behavior of
yesterday I had expected something
more substantial. -Chariuari.
4 STREET girl, to her brother-I say,
Harry, the girls on Sixteenth street
have organized Thought Club. :"
Harry" Thought Club. +" Ell? Thinking
about whether they'll catch husband
this season, or have to wait over another
year. : Washington Critic.
A HANDSOME young bride was OBJ
served to be in deep reflection on her
wedding-day. One of the bridesmaids
asked her the subject of her meditation.
Il was thinking which one of my old
beaus Ishould marry if should become
widew.-Phitadelphia Call.
A YOUNG Boston editor, Mr.. Charles
Howard Montague, is attracting some
attention as mind-reader. As he has
so far confined his operations to Bos-
tonians, his powers have not been tested
with the severity which will alone in
sure him fair verdict. Puck.
IT is wicked newspaper man of De-
troit who says that woman of that city
recently tied pedometer to her chin,
and discovered that she talked twenty
five miles between breakfast and lunch.
Probably one of her lady friends came
in to make call of five minutes.
WHEN Virginia mountaineer wants
a chew of tobacco this according to one
who has been there) is the way he asks
for it: stranger, gimme a chaw yer
black flat chawin' terbacker; that is, eff
yer chaw. I dunno eff yer chaw or no (;
do yer chaw?"- Washington Critic.
CHNAMEN are not over well off in
their own country, and those of them
who come to this country and enter
into the laundry business apparently do
not make change for the better, for
they have to take a great many cuffs
from the American people.-Bosto's
Courier.
A New YORK musician has been
awarded 81, 900 damages against rail-
road company for the lost of his first
finger, which prevents his playing diff
ficult pieces on the piano. His neigh
bors are rejoicing that the company
could not restore his finger. Norris
toac7a Herald.
A GENTLEMEN stopping one evening
at a country hotel, said to the maid
servant who waited upon him, and who
seemed nearly exhausted with the ia
tiguing duties of her situation, II have
no doubt" said he, "but you enjoy your
bed when you get into it. I" Indeed, no
sir" she replied, "for as soon as I lie
down at night I am fast asleep, and. as
soon as I am awake in the morning I
am obliged to get up; so that I have no
enjoyment in my bed at all"
A MANUFACTURER of bronze orna-
ments sent drummer to Texas, where
he managed to get one small order. A
few weeks afterwards the following cor
respondence took place: "Please send
your agent down this way again az soon
as possible" Reply -"It would very
much incommode me to do so at pres
ent. How large an order do you wish
to make?" Reply-"I did not intend to
order more goods. have melted the
lot Your agent sold me into bullets to
shoot him with. "-Ne,C Have1s Neacs.