The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1887-04-28
BILL ARP.
A1etter In the Philosophers Best Vein.

/ I want some chickens that won't
scratch up the flower seed in the front
yard, nor wallow in the fresh made beds,
nor fly over in the garden nor take the
cholera, nor let the hawks catch their
young, nor set two in nest. want
dog that won't bark half the night, and
will stay at home and know an honest
man from thief, aud won't track mud
through the hall nor shake his heas
around. want COW that can be
turned on the grass and will have sense
enough to let the deuterougmus alone, as
Cobe calls it. I want some beds that
don't have!to be made up, some dishes
that don't have to be washed, some
lamps that don't have to be filled, and
bookcase that the children can't get out
of order. want hats and bonnets that
will hang themselves up and stay there
until they are needed, and some school
books and states and pencils that won't
hide and scatter around. I want piano
that won't have to be tuned every time
Mr.. Freyer comes around-one that
practice makes perfect and neither moths
nor rust doth corrupt I want knife
and pencil that the little chaps will
give back to me when they borrow, and
some ink that will stay on the table, and
some pins that will stay in the cushion,
and towel that won't show ths marks
of half.washed hands. I want cooking
stove that draws we'll and 5akes we'll all
the time and cook that cont quit when
she gets ready and never gets sick or has
misery somewhere, nor takes the pouts,
and will scour the kitchen floor without
being told, and will give the dog some of
the scraps from the table. I want chill.
dren aud grandchildren around me who
don't know how to cry and hardly ever
get mad, and don't tell tales, and are as
smart as the books they have to study
or if they are not that smart, then I want
books made easy. Professor Sanford
says his arithmetic has no key, but is a
stem.winder. Well, if it has no key it
oughten to have any lock. I have to
work till ten o'clock every night helping
my chaps to prize it open, but we gener-
ally succeed and 1 reckon it is all the
better that way. I do hate to have 10
surrender to these children. It is con.
fession of judgment when I can't do
sum or parse sentence or translate their
Latin. When get all tangled up in
figures or in algebra aud can't untangle
and say, "well, children, these modern
books are all new to me. We don't
figure now just exactly like we used to.
I studied Smiley's arithmetic, which had
the single rule of three and the double
rule of three that did most every sum in
the world. And I studied Murray's
Grammar and Days Algebra, but nova
days they have got new books and short
cuts and stem winders and all sorts of
readers and eclectics and dialectics and
other complicated machines that I don't
exactly understand" And so 1 Get out
of it without losing very much
parental prestige. But the fact is,
have forgotten about as much as I know
perhaps more and still have to keep
.pegging away. About all the Latin I
care to remember now is, "otium cum
dignitate, and want plenty Of that. I
am going fishing tomorrow and stay all
day. Twill rig up big wagon and-take
the children along and basket of lunch
and we will fish and frolic and gather
flowers and eat and talk and laugh and
get dirty all day. long. The signs are all
right, for the dogwood is in bloom and
the wind is in the South, and it is the
dark of the moon, and I think / see
myself jerking the big Dream from under
the log. Carl knows every hoie in the
creek and he can catch more ish than I
can and don't try half as hard Jessie
wants to pick flowers, and I've promised
her she may wade in the branch, but her
mother don't know it. \ Jessie comes to
me and Carl goes to his mother for
fayors. What a pity it is that grown
folks can't be children once or twice in
awhile and wade in the branch too. The
next time Judge J BlecAley goes to
Screamer Mountain to be boy again
and go barefooted and make hickory
whistles and chestnut flies and catch
spring lizzalds and craw6sh and climb
trees for birds eggs, and make black ants
fight, and run ground squirrels to their
holes and dig angelica and kill snakes
and rock hornets nests and fight yaller.
jackets, I'm going with him. I'm tired
of playing man all the year long without
8, recess. 1t is a sort of hypocritical life.
/ envy the children. The Scriptures say
"unleas ye be as one ofthese little ones,
ye shs' not get to heaven" So it's sime
to begin, and therefore I'm going.a fish
ing. That's good scriptural occdpa-
ton anyhow, for one of the disciples said,
"I go fishing" and the -ther replied,
~ 60 with thee ALSO" They were just
human like che rest of u.s. I wonder if
they had any hooks and poles like we
have. Going fishing and coming from
fishing are TWO things, very different
things. They are no kin. We fix up
our hooks and lines and split bullets and
rob every empty bottle and jug of its