Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-10
IN TROUBLE WITH HIS GIRL.
Assorted Chunks Of Advice for the Bene-
fit of a Doleful Lover.

IN TROUBLE WITH HIS GIRL.
Assorted Chunks of Advice for the Bene-
fit of Doleful Lover.
The following letter and answer are made
public in the hope that other persons who
may be afflicted in the same way as "Anx-
ious Lover will zee them and be consoled
thereby:
"Deer Sur: am in truble and come to
you for assistense., am Going with a lady
about Six mos, thought great deel of Her,
thought that she had a little wish for me
ALSO, went to see Her one night and all
though | saw Her through the windo, her
little Sister sed she wasent home, queer.
Another time l called she seemed quite
distant, hardly taulkd any, which l attrib-
uted to her being in Love with me-, ten
O'Clock she got up, said sheed have to retire
now, as She hatto get up early to do the
washing, and Good night.
II forgot when leaving to make an appoint
ment., | wrote in few days after to find out
what time would have the pleasure of see
ing her not wishing to go there without the
expreshun of a wish from her, no reply, /
wrote in week after and no reply, is it an
innuendo not to CO., or should have gone
without writing.
"Can it be posabel she has ceesed to love
me-, for love her deerly., what had better
do, ANXIOUS LOVER"
This letter is printed verbatim ct literatins ct
non compos naentis to show that our CORE
spondent is in really perturbed state of
mind and language, and fit subject for con-
dolence and advice AS our condoler and
adviser are in good running order, having
recently been refitted with the most ap-
proved machinery, we cheerfully undertake
the task.
For this reason we are glad Anxious Lover
has referred his case to us. 1t is our es-
pecial delight to straighten out the course of
true love when it ceases to run smoothly by
judiciously shooting gobs Of carefully selected
advice into the current.
There is not much dependence to be placed
on the not at-home incident connected with
the first call. At first sight it looks like
what our correspondent so feelingly calls an
innuendo, but on second thought it may
have been nothing more than a common
everyday insinuation. The young lady may
have been eating onions for supper, and so
rendered herself hOrs de combat, as the poets
say, for the time being In that case the in
nuendo was merely an act Of charity and
mercy. Still, she was reprehensible in per-
hitting herself to be seen at the window
while such message was being delivered at
the door, for her motives were liable to be
misconstrued.
Her motion for adjournment at ten o'clock
on another occasion is more serious, as we
understand that true lovefeasts usually keep
i'll later than that, unless damper is clapped
on the services by the sudden appearance
OF an irate and wild-eyed papa, which
does not seem to have been the case in
this instance. In fact, the incident seems
decidedly outrs or nil deperandu,n, perhaps
both.
On the other hand her plea that she
had to rise early to do the washing tends
to show that she is capital prize in the matri-
threw out the hint as an incentive to our COR
respondent to invest further in tickets.
Her not answering the letters is susceptible
of explanation also. If they were written
in the same brand of photography as that
used in the letter which reached the office,
she probably took them for new and
ingenious puzzles, and is still trying to solve
them. Or she might have supposed them to
contain original poetry, and in consequence
threw them into the waste-basket. The
ragged edges of the lines would tend to
deceive her in that respect.
No, we can hardly regard it as an innu-
endo, all things considered, but possibly she
intended it to have discouraging effect If
so it would not be advisable to visit her in
person just now. Perhaps the best thing
to be done under the circumstances would be
to submit to her printed list of questions
like the following, which could be sent in a
special delivery envelope or intrusted to
some quiet unassuming book-agent to put
into her hands:
Do you love me2
If so, why so and how much?
If not, why not and to what extentP
Why did your sister say you were not at
home when saw you through the window?
Are you addicted to fibbing?
Is it remittent or intermittent, or both?
Will you swear off?
Why did you not answer my letters?
Will you do so again?
If not, why so?
When will you marry me?
The list can be printed at our job office at a
trifiing cost, and she would be able to read it
without calling in autographed expert.
This should bring forth some sort of re-
ply, and reply is what you want, Anxious
Lover. tits the suspense that is killing you,
for unrequited affection when not compli-
Gated by the presence of some other malady,
seldom proves fatal.
Should the reply be unfavorable, do not
be discouraged. Remember that G. Wash
ington found it difficult to induce a woman
to assist him in his arduous duties as
Father of his Country, but after several fail
ures he succeeded.
If the proud fair one on whom you are
lavishing the wealth of your affections
should spurn you, still be brave. Just shut