The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1887-07-23
could not lock my boys soul against a

could not lock my boys soul against q
demon?
Icannot tell you how told him iha,
I knew. Gently, tenderly-Oh, surely,
Mary, You can trust me for that! When
he burst into tears and confessed, one
dreadful agony loosened in my heart
! If he felt it, if could make him under
stand what he had done--surely l need
not despair. I did not punish him
" hat punishment could mothers
heart devise that would not seem petty,
compared to what he had done? For
it was terrible to rue to know that he
knew he was doing wrong. If he had
simply taken it in some careless way
without thought, but that I would
be perfectly willing for him to have it,
should have trusted to making him
understand but knew that he knew;
I knew that he had meant for me not
to find it out!
did not punish him, as I told you =;
it was far too grave a thing for punish
ment, relied on nothing but what I
could say to him. 1 cannot tell you
what I said, Mary; l could not re-
member now, even If it were not too
sacred; but think that God makes "A
mother eloquent in such suffering as
that. 1 know that what 1 said moved
him; could see him shrink with
shame, and o, Mary, that was some-
thing, was it not? l could not let il
pass or be forgotten.
1 did not spare him. ! did not mean
to spare him. I meant him to feel the
fall weight Of my scorn, and it COM
forted me little that he did feel it. /
could see him pale and shrink before
my eyes; 1 knew it was not because
he feared that should punish him; l
had told him it was too terrible thing
for punishment. If could not make
him understand the dreadfuluess of
doing it, there was no hope that could
save him by making him fear punish-
ment.
And he did feel that he had done a
shameful thing. was very tender
with him, Mary I am sure I made
him feel that it was because I loved
him so that it was all so terrible to me.
put my arms about him and kissed
him more teuderly than even I had
over kissed him before. But my eyes
never relented; they followed, they
questioned him, they held him, with
remorseless sternness. l meant him
never to forget; l was sure that he
understood.
Every day he grew more thougtful,
more tender, more frank and brave
and manly. You all noticed it ;-how
Hal developed that year. I found my.
self thinking of that wonderful pro.
blem about sin in the Marble Ram,
and how Hawthorne thought that sin
might have its mission in developing
the soul. One thing that comforts me,
in looking back, is to remember that
he had never taken any but that money
from a'ey purse.
Small sums were always lying about
the house, on the sideboard, or the
manlle-piece, or in the kitchen, ready
for the gas-biIl, or the baker, or the
boy, and mono of it had
ever been touched. 1 felt sure that he
had some curious feeling about it, not
being exactly wrong to take it from
me, who gave him always SO much
and so gladly. And now that l had
made him understand that, was sure
that had no need to dread an actual
blot IN his nature. No, not se,e; don't
suppose I ever fclt quite sure but /
believed that he was safe. Aud every
day when counted my money it was
always right. o, Mary! l could
weep with pity for myself even now,
when ! look back upon those days
when ! used 10 count my money: 1t
was not that / feared to miss large
sums / feared to miss a cent.
1t seemed TO me if l had found one
cent gone, my soul would have sunk
with terror. l locked away nothing
now; l knew there was no hope uu-
less he could SEQ the temptation and
face il. l was careful for him to know
that not a bar or bolt was in the way !;
nothing but his sense of right and
honor. ! even sent him upstairs to my
purse or nouey-box to bring me little
sums. l msde him feel that 1 trusted
him that l was sure it had all been
some terrible mistake; that now he
understood; and could never, never
dream of such thing again.
One day l could not account for two
dollars; l counted over and over, and
tried to think if had spent it without
putting 1t down but knew, o, knew
l was far too Watchful now to have
done that. I counted it again, and it
was not there! l sank down into a
chair almost lifeless. Theu as my eyes
fell in closing, l saw the two bills lying
on the floor at my feet, where they
had fallen as stood at the table count
ing them so feverishly! O, Mary! /
shall never, never, again know such a
moment OF bliss as when I saw them
there and stopped for them 1 kissed
\