The Penn's Grove record., 1887-06-25
\ SLIGHT Misunderstanding.

the union of Mr.. and Mrs. Rumble.
thorp. She ripened into womanhood,
but in ripening she had developed few
Of those feminine charms calculated to
attract suffers, and there were indica-
lions that she would die an old mald II
her life was spared. How to secure a
husband for her was the great problem
in the mind of Mrs. b. which she was
continually revolving indignant, some
times. that her husband seemed to give
himself no concern about it.
But a grave subject monopollzed the
thoughts Of Mr.. Il. He contemplated
building a new barn that should eclipse
any that his neighbors possessed. lie
had thought to be the architect of his
own barn as he had been OF his own
fortune. and had drawn up and torn up
innumerable plans for it. But nothing
he could devise afforded satisfaction.
One evening Mr.. and Mrs. humble
thorp sat together in their snug little
sitting-room. Mr.. BIS thoughts were
on the barn, as usual, and Mrs. b. was
thinking of her daughter and the war
mess of suitors.
At length Bumblethorp sprang to his
feet and exclaimed abruptly:
"By George, | believe | will adver-
tise for proposals."
Advertise for proposals ~ cried
Mrs. b., struck all of Il heap, rs she
afterwards expressed it; "why, Bum
blethorp, what would the neighbors say
to that ?"
s'Say, my dear? No matter what
they say. It's none of their business,
anyhow. Besides, it's not at all un-
usual. Such things are done every
day."
Eyes" said Mrs. b., thoughtfully,
''l'ye e advertisements of that kind
in the papers," and she picked up a
paper to see if her eye would fall upon
one, "but folks do not sign their real
names, do they b Something like til s
would be better "A young man of
good family and steady habits 4 hear
of something to his advantage by adj
dressing, MOther-in-law.'"
"Mother-in-law Fiddlesticks ! You
don't know what you are talking about.
| shall sign my own name. Them fell
lers know who Caleb Bumblethorp is,
| reckon"
s'Them %fellers, Mr.. Bumblethorp ?"
Eyes, the fellers that we want to
reach. Moneys what they're after,
you know, and they'll send in their pro-
posals by the next mail"
GLOW many-er-proposalS do you
think We'll get 2" asked Mrs. b., who
began to see an opportunity for making
an eligible selection, though she didn't
quite like that way of doing the bust
ness.
"a dozen like as not. But the more
the merrier. l shall ask for plans and
specifications of course, Becfofe~ selecting
one"
"Plans and specifications !" eXclaim-
ed Mrs. b., more and more bewildered.
'"That's what | said. We must have
plans mustn't we ?"
"Of course" assented Mrs. B., who
had been doing nothing else but reyoly-
ing plans for several years back.
"ln the first place. continued Mr..
B., there must be a good solid foun-
dation."
"You mean pedigree"
NOW you are thinking about tie
stable, but we will consider that after
wards. The next thing desirable is a
good, strong frame. | shall insist on a
strong frame, and it must be thorough
ly braced up"
"But l thought you didn't believe in
bracing up" said Mrs B.. quite shock
ed at such a radical change Of senti-
ment Oh the part of her husband, who
was an unbending, total abstinence
man.
"Mrs. B., | don't see what you are
thinking Of. a brace here and there
is absolutely necessary, and a man who
knows his business Will put it ill.,"
perhaps perhaps you mean en-
brace, " said Mrs. B., cOloring a little.
Embrace !" echoed b. with some
surprise. Then he added testify, "See
here, mother, | don't want any OF your
weak puns e the business. This
comes Of reading them funny papers,"
Mrs. b. rested silent and abashed.
After some moments reflection he re-
sumed "IIow many stories can we
get along with ?"
Good gracious Bumblethorp,"
cried Mrs. b., in genuine alarm, cant
we have n without any stories attach
ed These stories are passed about
from mouth to mouth, and then they
get into the newspapers, you know. 1t
will be terribly notifying to Celia
Ann"
"Mortifying to Celia Ann 4? l real
ly believe you are getting crazy. Stories
are necessary if you want one that will
hold a good deal"
"IIold a good deal, Mr.. BUNDLE
thorp ?"
"You know what l mean. / want
one that is able to stow away lots of
fodder"
"Why, l never heard you 60 on like
that before. Do you want a gourmand
for a son-in-law z"
"Gourmand? Son-in-law ? Who's
talking about a son-in-law ?n
why, you are, amt YOU You
know Eve been trying year in and year
out to marry off Celia Ann, and didn't
you say just now that you were going
to advertise for proposals ?''
Eyes, l did, said B., a light sud-
denly bursting upon him.
"Well, what did you mean by it 2"
81 meant" said Bumblethorp, pur-
pie from suppressed laughter, PRO
poSals for building my new barn - and
then he had to run out to the back yard
where he conld give vent to his mirth
in order to avoid sudden apoplexy.