davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
WIT and %XEuHnOr.

TO ascertain the number Of chill
dren in O street-beat a drum. 10
ascertain the nrmber Of loafers-
start a dog fight.
Mike. if you meet Pat, tell him
to make haste" 'Shnre an | will"
said Mike; but what must | tell him
if / cont mate Lim?"
An Illinois postmaster gives notice
as follows: After this date every
body must lick their own postage
stamps, for my tongues give ont"
There are trees so tall in Missouri
that it takes two men and a boy to
look to the top Of them. One looks
till he gets tired, and another com
mences where he left off.
Willie p, a little fFe-ycar old,
was playing with a h%oney-bee, when
the angry bee stung him. "Oh!
grandma" cried Willie, q didn't
know bees had splinters in their
leet!'
Bridget, what have you done
with the cream? Those children
can not eat skim.milk for breakfast
"Sure ma'am and it is isn't myself
that would he after giyin' the scum
to ycz. I tuck that off and gave it to
the cats"
Mark Twain thinks that soda
water is not reliable for a steady
drink. 1t is too gassy. The next
morning, after drinking thirty-eigh'
bottles. he found himself full Of gas
and as tight as a balloon. He hadn',
an article of clothing he could wear
except his umbrella.
A Dutch woman kept a toll.gate,
One foggy day a traveller asked
Madam, how far is it to b?
'Shoost a lee,le ways" was the re
ply. yes, but how far.?' asked
the traveller. "Shoost a leetle WAYS
more emphatically. MADAM, is il
one, two, three. four, or FIVE miles?'
The good woman i%ngcniously re
piled, III dinks it is"
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
A Hiss i'm the Dark.

Some Buffalo girls, at a little
party, recently, got up a new order,
and wished to initiate The young
men into its mysteries. They took
possession Of the front parlor and
closed the folding doors, leaving
one of their number Gu guard. The
gentlemen found one youth had
disappeared and wondered what:had
become Of him. The lodge being
in readiness for candidates, one of
the young men was escorted into
the room.e lie found four blushing
msidens standing in a row in a
corner Of the room, with a chair in
front of them. Upon this he was
seated and blindfolded, and then
told that one Of the girls would kiss
him. If he could guess her name
he would be privileged to repeat
the OSCILLATION. Of course. he made
a miserable failure; bat instead of
being allowed to retire he was CON.
PEELED to occupy q seat OF the op-
posite side Of the room. just
imagine his feelings when the next
victim was led in and had been
prepared fer tho sacrifice, to gee the
missing beardless youth rise up
ghost like, from behind the girls,
imprint a good. sound smack on the
the uplifted and cxpectant lips a
candidate, and then dodge back to
his place of concealment. One after
another the young men were vic.
timNed. The fun of twas, though
! to hear some of them demand more
than one trial before the removal
Of She hoodwinks-one, a we'll known
physician, not being content witt
less than three kisses. He was
enthusiastic over their sweetness:
until the sweet was turned to gal
as he saw the boy salute His sue
cessor on the throne Of mystery
Buffalo Express.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
WHAT Is TT?

BY SPECIAL arrangement with
the publishers of Farm and Fireside
we al for a short time offer a res
gift in connection with our paper. r.
is a MAGNIFICENT ENGRAV.
ING entitled HAMLET and
OPHELIA." Our offer is as fol.
lows:
The price Of Peck's Sun one year
is So 90
The price Of Farm & Firesid one
year is so
The value of the Engraving is FIJI.
ly $50
We give all the above. worth
$500. lor only $500. Subscribe lnr
ncck's Sun at ouce and secure them
all. Addrss.
PEcK'S SUN, Milwaukee,, Wis.,
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
SciSS0riDcElsIllS.

They are going down TO dinner.
May | sit on Your right hand
She-"Oh! better take a chair.
He takes one.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
New Orleans as IL Grain Port.

The grain traie, particularly
that frou the upper Mississippi than
was expected. The Port Eads
arrived here a few days ago with a
lot of barges carrying 5000 bash.
els Of grain in bulk and the Fogel
will lie here in a day or so with 1875
900 bushels more. These are only
the vanguard Of the grain ship
ments down.the river. The Mis-
sissippi is again stepping into line,
the Chicago Tribune says, with its
.old-time force and influence as a
factor in the Western system of
OF transportation, and promises to
seriously disturb the railroad rates.
There are 1000 600 bushels of corn
at st. Louis and 10000 bushels Of
wheat at Belmont awaiting
export aboard down the river and
via New Orleans, the Chicago paper
Gays, and it is being shipped to New
Orleans as fast as vessels can be
secured to move it. The Times
Democrat pointed eout yesterday
that in consequence of these ship.
'ments several grain exporting houses
had establishment agencies here
and looked forward to. New Or.
leans becoming a leading exporter
of Western grain. II, at the same
time, it can secure control Of the
California wheat, it will rank first
among American grain markets
Times. Democrat.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
Abberillc Meridional,
Products of the Congo.

The products Of the Congo"
said Mr.. Stanley, "are very nn'
merous. OF course there is ivory
and it would be impossible for me
to even imagine how many herds o.
elephants there. Let ns suppose a
railway to Stanley Pool. ] am
quite sure that they would get $50
tons of ivory from the upper Congo
alone. That means Gl5U.O00. Of
course that would not pay for build
ing the railroad, but it would assist.
The staple products OF the country
are rubber, gum copal, camwood,
the orchilIa weed, coffee, palm oil,
palm nuts. peanuts and hbres like
lutte which can be used for paper.
There has never been q single boto.
mist on the upper Congo to tell
what the botanic treasures are. Let
me say that we don't want colenssts.
We want the trader, who goes be-
tween the black man and CONNER
cial man in Europe; mee. that go
with their cloth goods among the
negroes and barter them for native
products. The Dutch house which
settled at the north Of the Congo
paid II per cent dividend. To-day
they pay nothing at all. That
however, does not Indicate deciin
ing trade. 1t proves that these
people instead Of combining tc
build a railway competed for a trade
that was already well established
1t was a fierce competition.-New
York Times.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26

A channel has been cut through
from Lake Ballona, Los Angels
county, California, of the ocean, but
further work towards making a bar.
Dor Of the lake has been suspended
until the arrival of piles, which arc
daily expected. Large suction
pipes have been laid from the lake
over the hill into a deep valley,
where a steam dredger will be set
to work and the debris conveyed hy
the suction pipes will he used as
filling for the road, which has been
garded for five miles towards Los
Angeles.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
Fodder Corn.

This is not corn fodder, bnt fod,
'der corn. When property cured is
the cheapest and the best hay ever
made. Cattle can be fattened for
beef on it, and your crop finished
by feeding it to your pillow stock.
TO grow this, select rich land, and
manure it we'll. Break it deep and
thorough and see that 1T is we'll
drained. Lay the ground off ir 12
feet lands, break these ont we'll and
deep with two horse pillow, leaving
the water burrows well open, har
row well then Law Off three rows on
each bed deep, in these scatter
your manure, either stable, compost
commercial, or cotton seed meal
all arc good. compost we'll made is
the best. Bone phosphate (l2 per
cent water soluble) mixed with cot.
ton seed meal is next. Gu this
manure make your beds, on these
beds, open and drill five bushels OF
shell cor to an acre of common
corn, cultivate as any other corn
cut and shock az soon as it tassels
well or the silks fegin TO show
Take pains, cure with care, as you
would hay. House as soon as
cured. Sow thick to minify the
stalk or you will make a failure in
stead Of forage.-New Iberia En-
terprise.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26

What is Home without II Mother?
And yet how many OF MS have
unhealthy mothers, wives, sisters and
daughters. If they would only use
Creole Female Tonic all the his to
which womankind are heirs would
vanish like mist beneath q MONDAY
sun. 3'his inestimable remedy is an
infallible cure for weakness, merry
business, monthly irregularities. pain
ful mcnstruation and all female com
plants. For sale by n. c Young,
Druggist. Ahheville. La.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
W S..

Ayant decide de laisser les AM
inaux qui Sc trouyent aetuelleme nt
dams ma savane iusqn'au Ter avril.
Je pr6viens les proprietaires qni YOU.
draient en- sortir de lie faire d'ici az
Is .lanvier, Car passe cette date je ne
permettrai a personne de courir les
animaux dams ma savane. J'avise
egalement les propri6taires qui Won.
draient lever des peaux en- cas- que
les betcs crevent dc vouloir m'ayer.
tir AVIAN: de les depouiller.
J. p. GUEYDaS.
Ter janvier 1887.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26

4 stranger recently entered one
of the churches'in indianapolis, and
was allowed TO stand awhile in The
aisle. At length he was approached
by one of the brethren, when he
ycntnred to inquire,
What church is this?"
Christ Church, sirt'
Us BE in?'
The c~hurchman took the hint and
gave the stranger a seat.
"What is tine matter, dear ?" said
a country minister's wife to her
husband. "Eou look anxious aad
worried"
z am" he replied. Il have just
heard some very bad news
Let me share il with Won" said
the good wife. 'Perhaps it may not
be as bad as you think
"Tssere is no hope of that was
the mournful reply. "The members
of the church are going to give a
donation party next week"
doctor well. how is your ague
now?"
Patient-"Worse and worse. I've
had the shakes awfully every day"
Il can't understand it. Did you
take the medicine | prescribed
Eyes, but it did TO good. DO you
know, doctor, ! think that medicine
might do good if | took it before the
shakes comes on instead of alter?'
Why, of course. That was what
| directed"
ct did not say 20 on the bottle"
"Consarn those druggistst" What
was on the bottle?'
shake well before using"
4 New York young lady not feel.
ing well caused the family physician
TO be summoned.
After looking at her tongue, feel
ing her pulse, etc, he said
Il DO not wish TO a,arm you, Miss
B., but your symptoms arc plainly
those Of scarlet lever"
"Oh, no:' she exclaimed in con-
stcrna'iop; surely not, doctor"
Yes" he said, "'you are certainly
threatened with scarlet fever"
What shall / do? what shall |
do 2" she moancd- in great distress.
"Oh! doctor, couldn't you throw it
into some other kind of fever ?
Scarlet fever is so trying to my
complexion"
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26

A fresh illustration of the power
nt music to charm was given in a
Rutland house the other evening.
A young man was playing the
guitar late at night and was sur
pr'sed at the visit of a good-sized
rat. The animal seemed to eniov
she music and slowly came nearer
the performer, until within a few
seet OF BIN. Alter listening a few
nH'ntes the rat quietly disappeared
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26

The government has appropria.
ted $40, 00O, 900 for coast defences
and warships. This looks like war,
but we imagine hostilitics are a
long ways off. Still we can we'll
afford to spare a number of our
young men who ale anxious to
show their grit.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
| PRIII E.! :: :: j: Il: !: 4: i; $; g.; S: !: !; :;

nelp you to more money right away
than anything else il t|;s world. All
of either sex, succeed from first hour.
The broad road to fortune opens be-
fore the workers. absolutely sure. Al
once address, TRUE & Co. Augusta.
Maine.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
WORKING GLASSES Ass':s e.

n@repared to furnish al GLASSES WI. n;,os
pjoyment at home. the whole Of the l ner'
or for their sare moments. Business .;tber
light and profitable. Persons q n nef
sex easily earn from so cents 70 pa Ssvot-
evening; aHa = prep 20 ths ha sum ss Bors
and girls earn nearly as much as I'd Y,
That all who see this may send tne IosES
dresses. and test the business, IS :, Its,
tfls offer. To such AS are not vel the
fed we will send one dollar to pay - nd
trouble Of writing. Full pactifnlaIsr Z
outfit free. Address GEORGE s1lssus
Co. Portland. Maine.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
Official Directory.

OA4AAOV4 - - N4FsF
District Judge.
CoNRAB DEBA1LLoN.
District Attorney.
RoBERT c.. SMEDEs.
Clerk Of District Cnnrt,
L.suE BRoUssAPps
Representative.
RoBEsr. P. O'BRYAN.
Sheriff e. Tax Collector.
.t JOSEPH :. NuNEz.
DIR. W. %. WHITE.
Police jury.
n. HorrpAuIR, President.
N. l.. ELDREDGE, J.T. BRoussARp.
RoHr. GREEN, T., >. MoRsAs'
Fl. II. BARRELS D.. A. LEBLAne
Clerk of Police Jury.
LYMAN C. LYONS.
Parish Treasurer,
~ ELJAK WISE.
Town Council.
j. J. ABADK, Mayor.
r. Fl. MILLS, - NJ. bEAuA,
: WISE N. C. IoUHG.
Constable.
GEORGE e. lyons.
Justices of the Peace, Sd. war; ros
7, ~ I,yo,s G. LABAUVs
.8 Surveyors,
". W. EDWARDS. IL. MoNTAGSs'
School Board Directors.
w. W. EDWARDS. Pres'deH
]. n. WILLIAMS, JOHN NgGIkR'
JOHN MORGAN. NJ. G. BRoossAnls
II q K1pne. NJ. V. LAMPMAs.
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-02-26
!: : : : =: :: 4; !, :: $: :: s;

you viii get free a package Of
goods of large value. that will start
YOU in work that will at once bring you
in money faster than anything else in
America AN abou. 100000 in pres
ents with each box. Agents wanted
everywhere, of either sex, of all ages,
for all the time, OF spare time only, to
work for us at their own homes. For
tunes for all workers absolutely assured
Don't delay II. HALLErrs q Go,
Portland, Maine.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-16
AduIterated Spices.

al know man," remarked II gentle
man this morning, "who Is so consci-
entious that. after starting in the spice
business Mt considerable expense, he
sold out at loss rather than continue
manufacturing concern that could
only be made profitable by adulterating
the manufactures and selling impure
goods. There Is more adulteration in
spices, he told me, than in any thing
else, and the making of the adulterating
agents is also business IN itself. Why,
ii has not been long since there was a
mill over in Camden where fruit
importing firms here, and those that
manufactured prepared cocoanut, sent
their coc0anut shells, which We're then
ground into powder and used for adul-
teration. l believe the method is ia
find out what you can get for your
spices and then adulterate them so you
can make u profit at the figures named,
The strength and pungency OF the spice
are usually made to correspond with
its price. ."-PAiladeiphia BullsttA
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-16
ChuRCH.GOING ATTIRE.
Why the Wealthy should Dress ModesNy
When Attending Divine Worship.

When Attending Divine Worship.
Costly and snowy dressing is not be-
coming to church-goers. Aside from
the unseeming vanity it suggests, and
which does not accord with the spirit of
worship, it not only tends to distract
the attention of others, but to excite
feelings of envy and emulation under
circumstances the most criminal and
cruel. Indulgence in costly attire and
novelty of style are not generally
prompted by mere taste, but to minister
to pride by securing admiration or to
provoke invidious comparisons. To
greater or less extent all gay and
extravagant dressing is prompted
by one or the other of these personal
considerations. To indulge such feel
ings under any circumstances is
manifest impropriety. but to do
so in connection with religious services
is shockingly sinful. The Graphic
sharply rebukes the prevailing fashion
of showy church toilets in these words:
"Why dress for church in garments So
costly and of such variety that they
must necessarily attract attention? The
place is not adapted to such displays.
They distract attention from church
purposes. 1t is too much to say of any
lady that she seeks attention to the
sacrifice of that which should be devoted
to book, or sermon, or prayer; that She
airs her vanity when she should most
show humility; that she wants to excite
envy when the heart should be empty
of all selfish and other personal con-
siderations, but, surely, she does not
dress in that manner altogether to
please herself. and it is just possible
that she takes to herself somewhat
irreligious satisfaction on making the
discovery that no other lady has her
costliness of plumage and her superior
ity of display"
There is another consideration that
ought to restrain the well-to-do and the
wealthy from indulging in snowy
church-going attire, We refer to its
| tendency to discourage those who are
not able to deck themselves in costly
garments from attending upon religious
services. They do not wish to be con-
! spicuous for cheapness of apparel any
more than properly sensitive woman
would wish to be conspicuous for the
luxury carried on her back. These
women can not attend church without
something OF sacrifice of perfectly
proper pride. whereas II plain dress
were the rule at church they would be
as much at ease ut church as II there
We're no thought OF dress in any place
In which it does not belong.
Assuming the correctness of these
views, it is clearly the duty OF all Chris
tian women to dress with simplicity for
church services SO rs to make no marked
distinction between the appearance Of
worshipers whose worldly circumstances
are widely different. t.-Baptist Weekly.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-16
WHEN OUR SHIP COMES IN.

In q cottage that stood on the wild senshore,
a little one sat meath the vine. .wreathed door.
Shadowed and sad was that childish face;
on tne SOFT, pink cheek shone the tear'drops
For the cherished toy-best loved Of all
The poor little waxen-faced, blue-eyed coll
Was broken. Smile not ut the childish pain,
Nor the tears that were dropping like silver rain.
But the gentle mother. with loving tone,
Said, bending down ny the little one
And kissing the mouth and dimpled chin:
Don't cry, my love when our ship comes in,
We will get new dolly, oh, fur more fair,
With brighter eyes and with softer hair.
Now dry your tears for Z will surely be
When our ship comes In from the far, wide sea-.
., that ship to come! and how oft before
y door,
As with eager gaze they were watching now.
For the cleaning sail and the rushing PROV.
But oft she ran to her mothers side,
Her sweet blue eyes with the gladness wide,
As she pictured the wonderful pleasure to be
When our ship came in from the distant sea.
The dearest gift, and the best of all
To her dear little heart, was the darling doll.
But, oh there were treasures unknown untold,
All safely slowed in its precious hold;
And standing thus, with her beaming eyes,
The tears all gone, and the childish sghs.
She turned the sweet face with its smiles to me,
And said: Have you any ships at seay'
Child you know not the wild throb Of pain
Those light words sent through my heart and
brain.
Ah we all have ships on the stormy sea;
Ahl weary watchers for them are we;
And when the tempest and cloud are rife
When storms sweep over the sea of life
With fearful eyes, by the sounding Store,
We watch for them; we have watched before.
But Of all who, weary and trembling, wait
For the coming ships, with their precious
freight,
,Tis known, o Fatber, to none but Thee,
II they safely arrive, or are lost at sea.
-BOstOn Transcript
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-16
Lightning Rod Protection.

Herr Schiller, well-known German
architect, reports some facts which are
of interest as indicating the radius of
the circle of protection Of good lightning
rods. On June II last. ut the village of
Mottingen, lightning struck pear tree
33 feet high. On one side, 155 feet
away, was school-house, with rod
So feet high. On the other side was II
church, 1928 feet away, and having Il
lightning rod reaching up 154 feet.
Both rods are well placed, and had
worked well when tested, and the level
of the foot of the tree is about the same
as that of the two buildings. 1t is evil
dent, then, if the facts have been ac-
curately reported, that the radius of the
circle of protection is not more than
twice the height of the rod.-M r
World.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-04-16
Saved by a Horse.

A gentleman in Massachusetts, once
told me the following story; and the
style of. the man should be mentioned
rs part of the scene. The narrator was
tall and muscular, OF manly, almost
noble presence. He said: II once
owed my life to the good will of u horse,
and it was thus: was farming in Yer
mont. 1t was winter; the ground was
covered with deep snow. That snow
was coated with hard, sharp crust.
l was driving in sleigh n pair Of
horses. At II place in the road, where
but u single track had been broken, and
where to turn out into the cutting icy
crust would give pain to horse and
trouble to man, met an old couple
driving single horse in cutter. ]
tried to turn my horses out into the
crust. They would not turn out.
jumped out and took them by the bits
to compel them. One Of them sprang
upon me, threw me down in the deep
snow and knelt on my breast. l was
helpless; l could not stir. l thought
my end had come. when my other
horse seized her mate by the cheek
with her teeth, pulled him Off from me
and held him till l got up and was safe.
Then with voice and movement she
showed Joy and delight as plainly al
ever did nun or woman. ."-SWiss Cross,
Make up and turn over the compost