The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-08-06
HUMOROUS.

n
ting full is apt to ind money tight,
too.--Boston Courier.
Buffalo Bill has been wonderfully
successful in London. He is said to
be on "Ah, therel" terms with the
Queen.-Puck.
No man can realize how easy IL is
70 pass the contribution box around
and forget to chip in, until he tries it.
--LouiScilte Democrat.
There is tide in the affairs of men
which, If not skillfully lodged at the
proper time. browns them. Cincsa-
natl Commercial Gazette.
In New York City they never find
ont how good and virtuous a man or
woman is until he or she murders
Buffalo Times.
A Maryland lady defends herself for
the size of her hustle by saying that
she isn't responsible for what goes on
behind her back.--Harper's Bazar.
Mount Hugging. in New Hampshire,
is 10 have Summer hotel. IL ought
10 rival Kissimmee, Florida, as a
pleasure resort.-lSt. Joseph Gazette.
IL is said that a craze for studying
the Russian language is springing up.
There are, however, easier ways Of
committing suicide.-St. Paul Globe.
From Southern lands come Strawberries,
On market stalls are toothsome dates
The cherries deck the cherry trees,
And pairs arc seen on garden gates.
- Boston Courier.
There is no lack of Presidential cam
didates, but the ominous thump of
the coopers who are tightening bari
hoops is heard in the land.-S drdto-
gtdn.
A mixed congregation: Ida Good
speed recently attended our church
with nice horse and buggy, which
were present from her iather.-OS-
scego Times.
When an Amherst On. H. farmer
wants TO lasso any cattle he borrows
the name of Quoquinnapassakessana-
nagnog House and uses il for lariat.
Hotel Nail
IL is suspected that the reason so
many men are afraid to die is that
they dread the possibility of meeting
so many life-insurance agents on the
other side.-LosoeU Citizen.
Young wife (petulantly) We'll, even
IL don't come 10 meet you every
night as i used, what does IL signify!
Young husband--That we have been
married six months.--LVe.
1t is said that the trout are rising
very freely in Mosselucmeguntie Lake
this season. The evidently prefer TO
die in frying pan than live in lake
with such name. -Hdrper'S Bdzdr
Johnny" said the minister, rather
severely, "do you chew tobaccor'
"Yes, sir" was the reply, "but I'm
clean out just now: Jimmy Brown s
got some, though" - Washington
Critic
From its tendency TO gush and
spout and create bad odor, and flare
up and go off when it isn't loaded, we
conclude that there is good deal OF
human nature in a gas-well. Spring
fed Union.
A bullet has been invented that
passes through the body without
causing any unnecessary discomfort. =
Kills man nice and easy, and not
like the chrome-yellow bun.-Phila-
delphtd Call
Brown-"a villain has been swind.
ling lot of folks down town. He
passed himself off as me, and gathered
in quite sum of money Passed
himself off as your Why, the rascal
must be lost 10 all sense Of shame.
Boston Transcript.
A hopeless case: whats the mat
ter, bubg' inquired a Philadelphia
citizen OF little boy who was crying
my k-kite won't fly" sobbed the lad
"Well, no wonder" said the gentleman,
examining IL, sit is made Of the edi.
torial page Of the Ledger."-Lffe.
The hottest place in the country last
week was in the White House, Wash.
ington. No thermometer could be
found capable Of registering the degree
Of heat there about the time the Presi.
dent wrote his letter explaining why
he thought it best TO order retreat
from st. Louis.--Neto York Tribune.
Etlquet says: "The husbands card
should always accompany that of his
wife's upon all formal occasions" We
don't know much about the game, but
IL strikes us that IL the wife holds both
bowers and the ace, backed by a couple
OF good side cards, she migfs venture
a. ..lox IL oIono without any aeefetq N ~