The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1887-03-03
Some of Sam. Jones' Sayings.

All worthy of immortal fame,
Now lie where the circling vulture feeds,
Unhonored and without name.
Some of Sam. Jones Sayings.
Let us have no one-horse re-
ligion.
Fun is the next best thing to re-
ligion.
despise these little two-wheel-
ed christians.
The hardest fellow 1 have to deal
with is my wife's husband.
1 do not know any human being
who has any special claim on God.
There are some men 10 the pulpit
who are only preachers, and not
much at that.
Where is the preacher who is not
striving for bigger church and
bigger salary?
What is creed but an old skin
stuffed with sawdust, good to be
exhibited in museum!
There is nothing on earth worse
than selfshness, and hell is nothing
but selfshness on fire.
Let US leave of singing about the
Sweet by and by" and sing about
the sweet now and now.
These religious women who are
gadding about all over creation,
and neglecting their homes-I don't
like them.
What's the use in shouting when
we are in debt? Pay up and then
shout. Let US keep the pies and
cakes for desert.
Some people come to church to
get something to make them feel
we'll, just as an old topper who goes
to the grog shop.
Most anybody can do thing
they feel like doing, but it takes a
true man to do a thing when he
doesn't feel like doing it.
1 want to see the day come when
voluntary contributions will sup
port the church, and when it will
be crime to hire pew in it.
When a man has more religion
than sense, he's a fool; when he
has more sense than religion, he's a
rascal, nine times out of ten.
They have been after me about
my grammar long enough to
straighten me out, but l always
try to adapt my style to my con-
| gregation.
| / have often wondered where the
great storehouse of Gods music
was, from which he supplies the
birds and other musical agencies.
One editor said l ought to be
glad because he has made me.
asked him if he could not make
some more. Well, he said he had
no more dirt.
We do not want preacher who
talks about heaven so far off, and
tells you he does not think many
are going to get there, but he Is
going to lead the procession.
There may be in my remarks
what seems to be levity, but l would
rather have anything than that So
Der, solid, hunp-backed stiffness
some try to palm off as religion.
| l tell you that Harvard and An
dover and all your societies for in
tellectual and social and moral life
in your city and state cannot sup
press the $500 bar-rooms, with their
nf ernal traffic.
| | know q man must think and
study to preach. But let me say
to you right here that l don't be-
lieve in this old idea: "If you
open your mouth the Lord will
fill it," l believe He will fill it, but
He will fill it with air. And there
are now too many old air guns run
ming Ground over this country.
! Suppose you go down, some day
and try to hypothecate your Meth
odism for some dry goods. How
much do you suppose you will get
for it2.Why,my dear, the store keep
err would say: Il can show you the
names of Methodists on my books
who have been owing me for &c
years"
Many preachers say that mar
Is not religious because he has no
morals. Nonsense! One man gets
religions and jumps up and shouts
out the praises Of God. Another
man gives $1,000 to a mission mex,
Sunday, but never shouts. Now
which would you bet on, if you
were betting man?
| Religion is like smallpox-it's
catching. There is many church
around mere wherein if the preach
ers were 10 take account of stock
they would load the 5 cent counter
with lukewarm christians, and some
even would sell at 5 cents bunch
|
N m-Il