The Opelousas courier., 1887-07-02
EkArr at Sardinn.

] was IL @ first class restaurant din.
ing with o friend, and feeling in O gem
circus mood, called for o box OF ear-
dimes.
mind, now" I said to the waiter, II
want the genuine article, mono of the
down-East imitation"
very WELL"
He disappeared and soon returned,
bringing what seemed to be the real
thing called for, picked up our check,
replaced it with one calling for fifty
cents more, smiled, and retired.
Abr I said, tipping back tho lid,
which had been skillfully opened by
the waiter, @here is food fit for o king.
Look" I added, turning the box about
so that my companion could read the
legend neatly inscribed on the gilt
band encireling the sardine box-a
PhuiHe dIoire-"no imitation about
that, CHI. Try one."
My friend thrust his g~littering fork
into one of the tempting morsels,
when, to the establishment of us both,
it began to work its gilIs aud wiggle
its fms and tail. It's ewes snapped
yiciously. My friend was about to drop
his fork in amaZement, believing the
fish to be bewitched, when to our won
der it suddenly spoke cut in a low but
Ineligible voice:
Il am no sardine!"
aWhat are you?" I asked excitedly.
"Oniy a herring, a harmless little
herring" it replied ~innocently. II
saw France; I don't even under.
stand the language of the label on the
box that recently contained me; I
don't oven know what an olive is, but
If you want any information concerning
cotton seed you can consider me au-
thority." ~.
BY this time my friend had somewhat
re ,oyered his self-possession, and, lay
ing the talking fish tenderly upon his
plate, waved his handadd said, in an in
terested way: go on; you seem to be
quite entertaining" y
"Entertain:ng? o, no." replied the
little herring, with q diffident look;
mot at all; I never had a college edu-
cation; if I had I might not have been
boxed up here with my unfortunate
friends, but might have been editing a
grocery journal, exposing canned
goods frauds and other abuses. No, I
am only a little l~erring-a very small
fish from the coastof Maine"
"From Maine?" @
"Yes, Maine. / would not have to
get naturalized even to vote; but then,
you see, there isn't many people who
know the difference. There's many .
noble young fellow in this country who
cuts off his horses tail, drives and
talks English, who would pass for a
genuine cockney in Zululand. Yes, l
an adovn-East Yankee from Eastport."
"Eastport?' [ calculated.
"Yes, close to Canada, where o good
many so-ealled sardines would like to
be in certain emergencies. / wish |
was back there to-day frisktng in my
native element; but I am doomed it
seems, to not only be devoured by u
good friend here. but to tickle his
palate IS I go down with a genuine
sardine flavor. No, l am no sardine; l
am only a herring-a harmless little
herring from Maine"
We were fast growing interested.
"You see," continued our fshy little
friend, some smart fellows down East
found out by experiment how they
could make me taste 80 much like the
real French article that no American
could tell the difference. so they went
intoeeh4 bus ness on a large scale. The
c~ottfne fields of the South furnish the
seeds yhis makes the oil in which we
are boiled, spiced, and made to taste SO
delicious. Take a nip at me! There,
now, you wouldn't dream that you had
the taste of cotton in your mouth,
would your But it's there all the
same. No sardine2 No a rhuilie
~d'olire-only cotton-seed oil and a
harmless little herring.
Money in us? Yes, I should think
soSeALet me see; we cost about five
ceaeS a box-a whole box of us, just
tkI1Sk! The packer sells us at a profit
otafom five to seven cents; the retailer
the . us at about thirty cents, and by
failintime we get to you on the
gensfarant table we are worth fifty
Ions Not bad for q poor little Yankee
hefafrrg, is it? And the a Phui1e de
cotton, in which we are immersed, is
none of the best either. "-Grocers'
| Criterion.