Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-06-02
..Mr. Allis, our h;gh-school teacher,

| repcbtcu.
.Oh, Mr.. Allen, your name sounds
familiar. Are you any way related to
the Aliens in Stumpton?"
Mr.. Al)is politely replied in the neg
alive. I. was fortunate for me that
Aunt Pidge, finishing her supper just
then, gave me an opportunity fol
escaping from the room. could bet
ter recover my composure in solitude.
Bathing my burning checks with cold
water from the kitchen pump,
thought, with deep modification. of the
Uttered room l had left, of the little
tin cup of catnip-tea, which Aunt
Pidge had insisted on sleeping over the
GOALS, of her countless wrappings
strewn about in every corner, but,
most of all. her own comical figure.
For Aunt Pidge was an animated Their
mometer, whose degrees of heat and
cold were marked by succession OF
capes. In the heat of the summer. she
mounted only one; but, as the tenn
perature grew colder, she added
another, and another, each being q
trifle smaller than the last. This night
she wore her maximum number, to
protect her during her chilly ride.
How l wished that she had spared her.
self the Inconvenience of the journey!
Then her false front, with it rows of
curls, clinging to her head like icicles
to the caves of a house, had a veXa-
tious habit of slipping down over her
forehead, as if the shocking cap. with
its half-fiedged bows, filled it with dis
gust, and it wished to escape from such
neighborhood.
Drawing mental comparison be.
tween her ludicrous appearance and
the gcntlemanly bearing of the young
student from Yale, re-entered the sit
| ting-room in time to hear Aunt Pidge's
concluding remark. that "Rufus Shoate
was a most excellent lawyer, and it
would be long before the world found
his co-equal."
Having relieved her feeling by this
obituary, she drew her snuff-box from
her pocket, and giving it such scien-
tific tapping as would have disgraced
no woodpecker, proceeded to take a
pinch of snuff.
do you find your stay in Wood
ford agreeable, Mr.. Allis?" said /. Gag
erly Selling the opportunity for con-
versing while she was thus employed.
Il am enjoying it exceedingly" he
replied. 81 think never
No mortal could have heard the
conclusion of this remark, for Aunt
Pidge was INDUCING in vehement fit
of sneezing.
''Mr. Allis' blue eyes twinkled in
spite of him. but the rest of his face
was preternaturally solemn.
'I'm terribly inflicted" sighed Aunt
Pidge again, after an energetic use of
her handkerchief, with a virago in
my head"
1t was my private opinion that the
disease affected her entire person. She
went on, resignedly:
what with virago in my head,
and dictoloreux in my face, think my
sufferings are about as hard to bear as
those of Cox's martyrs"
Verify, pity is cardinal virtue, and
Aunt Pidge lavished it upon herself
most unsparingly.
| "Well, well. Polly" said my father.
cheerily, you're little used up from
your days ride. A nights rest viii!
set you all right"
Aunt Pidge shook her head dcfiantly,
performed another woodpecker tap up
on her snuff-box, RECALLED herself with
4 second pinch, and oracularly de-
clared:
Il feel that 1 am not long for this
world-nor the next, either
l perceived that the schoolmaster
was making the most self-denying eff
forts to control his risibles. AS for me,
my feelings We're too deep for tears. l
saw that Aunt Polly was rambling on
the confines of the land of dreams.
Wearied by her long journey, it was
high time she sought her couch
of repose. But how to get her off with
out her catnip!
A decided nod, entirely displacing
her false front, till it hung in festoon
across her forehead, aroused her; and
resolntely Strengthening herself into an
upright position. she rubbed her eyes
with the hem of her shortest cape, to
dislodge that limp of sleep who sits
upon tired eyelids, and weighs them
down so kindly" and seemed ready to
prove herself an Argus of wakefulness.
Addressing Mr.. Aliis. she began:
"My niece tells me you are teaching
in the village; is it degraded school?
The district used to be large; how
many scholars have you canistereds
The question being of such nature
as 20 render an immediate answer i'm
possible, the schoolmaster tried to con-
ceal his amusement behind violent tit
of coughing.
"Dear mel" said Aunt Pidge, seeing
a favorable opportunity for giving a
prescription. "what do you do for that
cough, Mr.. Allen? It's a good thing
to battle the throat in lineament, out.