The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-06-19
ASA MEANS OF GRACE.
The Conflicting Emotions OF a
Herald Correspondent.
To the Editor of THE HERALD.

To the Editor of THE HERALD.
Standing with one foot in Kansas ano
the other in Missouri, l write you
series of my reflections. L am facing
the Central road of the big iron bridge
across the mighty, muddy Missouri
over which the trains pass from Atchl'
son to Winthrop. and thence to Chicago
Consequently my right foot is firmly
pressing the prohibition soil of the
State of Kansas, while my left is pre-
pairing to watt me over, should l
desire it, towards a huge sign on the
east side of the river, announcing q
brewers best production, in the State
of Missouri. Here is the world OF
principle on the liquor question
divided by the rolling river; said TO De,
notwithstanding its proverbial muddi-
ness, the third purest stream IN the
United States. On my right hand
man with the painters collie can't get
pint of Kentucky whiskey without going
to drug sture and executing an am
davit that tho liquor he is about to
purchase, in presence of an officer, is to
be drank for medical purposes and by
inference that the man who drinks 1t
is to be drunk for the same laudable
purpose While on my left man, or
woman either, from any civilized nation
on earth. that is any white person or
negro indians being excluded), can
distend his or her ample cuticle with the
worst "rot" the country affords for 10
cents, and go home into Kansas in the
most glorious conViVial condition for Is
cents if he can pay cents more to the
tollman on the bridge.
Consequently to the Kansas topper, the
Missouri bridge is means of grace. il
he is out of funds, and a loeane of dis
grace if he has nickel over the price
of his drink. .--1
A person standing where 1 do. can't
help feeling the conflicting elements Ct
spirituous warfare between these two
great stars of the Republic. I fancy my
position is somewhat similar to that
occupied by the noted Siamese twins.
1t is said that one-haif of the twins was
was fond of his ''tods." So when the
latter INDUCED his taste for "toddy."
the temperance advocate got blind
drunk. And vice versa, when the cold
water champion took a draft of ice
water, it sent cold chill through the
other twins system, and made him
feel uncomfortable. Fortunate for your
correspondent that he has good con
troll over himself, or standing IN so des-
perate a situation, he might be riYen
asunder by the conflicting attractions.
AS it is, no yever, neither the "cold
water chills" or the "tod fever" has
any effect on me. A glass of warm
milk or a cup of cocoa sets me all right
in any state, and think these are legit-
innate beverages even in Kansas, let
alone Missouri.
Apropos of whisky for medicinal pur-
poses, 1 could not help noticing the
very large number of drug stores in
Atchison the other day. You must re-
member that while the State is prohibi
ton the town of Atchison is somewhat
So the willy lover of warm
beverages takes his entirely for medi-
cine, and doubtless his conscience ap-
proves the necessary oath, much as the
Utah lumber dealer feels the necessity
Of swearing that all lumber purchased
IS for domestic purposes, in order to
dodge the devil around the stump"
while be gets little something for his
D ersonal wants.
In Omaha, Neb., they license the
IHuO1 loL1C ouO OCfOlC bAC u1Oll6I W
public free schools, so that the child
ZEN of those who spend their earnings
n drink may be educated with part OF
t. As to which is the best mode of |
handling this moral or immoral eIe-
ohant, I leave your readers to Judge.
l was reminded of your condition out |
n Utah the other day, on reading in a |
Texas paper the following incident:
Northern man-Who is that black bearded |
elbow who is glazing at US across the street? |
Texas man (terrifed)-Don't look at him, /
tranger, or you're a dead man. He has |
Ilready killed four men and seven niggers.
Northern man Indignantly why don't |
he people combine and rid the town of such |
savage?
Texas man acknowledgement him?
Tow, you Just wait, stranger. We have our
uspicions that he has stolen a mule, and if |
Ee can fasten it on him he'll swing sure as
hootin'.
Polygamists will readily make the
roper application of this story, in con-
ldering the court policy of the past.
hough 1 understand there is to oe a
lore generous handling of their cases
han formerly. Am I right2
Mrnnrr or Mrecor-pr Prvvo