Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-01-30
FROM CHARLESTON.
"P. q. p" Discourses Humorously Upon
Life at the Permanent Seat.
CHARLESTON, January %, 1ss1.

Stiei anu lne otudlOTlsl question II aIIlN-
ing at a conclusion with he same frenzied
activity with which it was getting there these
two months ago. For the past week eanh
member of the Legislature has been strug-
Cling witha a huge, burning, red-eyed desire
to be United States Senator and write au-
tOgraphs for grateful public, but through
all this they have steadfastly held to those
noble, patriotric customs which stood out
so brightly in the day of their country's
trial, and have continued to eat and sleep
with courage and fortitude which wakes
an echoing thrill of pride in the bosom of
every true American.
The great go-as-you-please contest for
Senator is the best drawing attraction
which has visited Charleston this season.
They played to n packed house on Wednes-
day and the game became so interesting
that such paltry consideration rs dinner
was entirely forgotten until after o'clock
D. IN. But, when their attention was
called to the oversight the members, with
the self-sacriticing spirit which character
izes true statesmen, obligingly dissolved"
and gave the audience chance tO refresh
themselves. They also formed themselves
into a joint Committee for Internal I'M
provement and proceeded i'll n body To
Hawks restaurant, where they discharged
the duties of the Committee with that
earnest, aSsiduous application for which
they are so Justly famous.
But such incidents are unimportant ex-
cept us serving TO break great jagged
chunks off the monOtOny of the regular
proceedings The Legislature has been
getting down to work and the members
have had two or three soclable debates TO
get their hand in, preparatory to snatching
the great questions OF state which will bob
ND during the course of the session, bald
headed, so to speak. Several of the old
grayhaired bills which furnished amuse
ment to our ancestors in those good old
days when n man could walk into the Leg
isature on free pass and not he eXcom-
municated for it, were led into the ring and
propped up for the members to wrestle
with. Several of the legislators took adj
vantage OF the opportunity to knock the
dust from their ideas and confidently spread
them before an admiring public. From the
results shown so far, the indications
are that before the session is
over there will be some speeches produced,
and worthy of being immortaliZed in the
standard school speaker" and it may be
that when the hand of time has strewed his
massive brow with wrinkles, and the fleet
ing years have flecked his locks with
threads of silver and all that sort OF thing,
some Legislator may hear his remarks"
on the school-tax bill liSped by the pratt
Ting lips of those juvenile statesmen who
are addicted to tow heads and divorced
suspendcrs.
But must turn my great hungry eyes
from this golden prospect and sadly switch
my eagle gaze onto 4 far more solemn sub
icct. And, although | may have men
toned this before, yet feel that my duty
is not performed until tell the readers of
the REGISTER that there is, at present,
mud in Charleston. To some who
have been here within the past
two weeks this may not fall
upon them with that crushing, with
ering intensely which such startling
news often carries with it, hut to those who
are not familiar with the Capital of West
Virginia it will have to be broken carefully.
The mud is even more prolific than it
was last week-it pOSsble-and it seems
that the streets and this product OF the
soil have gone into joint session for the
execution of the Legislature and the Office
holders whose happiness is wound up in
said body.
But the unholy wca ther which fire.
quents this place, working red beaded
ruin and desOlatiOn IL our midst,
has eaSed up bit, and
adopted regular hours for its rich aud
varied performances The mornings are
chronically cold and Charleston residents
are getting used to coaxing the ice out of
the wash pitcher with the poker, The
Legislators mcthodically insert themselves
into their OvercOats and walk briskly tO
the Capitol after breakfast, and ut one
o'clock they slip on their Overshocs, which
have been left in over night, and carefully
pick their way back to the hotel. When
they leave the Capitol in the evening they
lay their Ovcrshoes away with a regularity
which is almost m0nOtonOus aud put on
their Overcoats and shiver back to the
hotel again. This very regularity of
operation, after the eccentricities which
the weather displayed at the opening
of the session, seems as though
the Charleston branch Of the
signal service was neglecting it's heaven
given po Siblities This plan OF opera
tions is becoming so familiar that if man
becomes fastened to the pavement during
the muddy hours he don't make n specta-
Gle of himself by slashing around, covering
himself with Charleston's specially and
ruinina his Legislative clothes No, he
stands still for an hour or so and then
kicks his feet loose and walks quietly
away on the crust.
There is report i'll circulation here
which don't know whether to believe or
not. 1t sounds probable, yet there is n
consuming doubt in my mind * TO its
truth. But will state the facts briefly
and concisely and have you worry 1t out
| for yourself.
The report is, that as a Senator was
walking along street here, he noticed a
hat on the frozen crust Of the mud The
Senator, it is thought, must have Eeen 4
boy at some period of his life, for when his
orb Of vision took in the hat he wanted to
kick it. He want ID to kick it bad, so he
| Wdlkcu over ana lllltu IL hluuly buh
| firmly with the toe Of his shoe. When he
had done this he heard 4 voice inquiring
in excited and earnest tones as to what in
- (eXCuse me from mentioning it, he
had done that for, and upon looking
down he discovered 4 polished dome OF
thought protruding above the surface. He
inquired ifthe owner of the head was pres.
ent and some person below him replied
that be was; also, that he was down there
on load of hay, that he was waiting for
the crust to thaw, so he could drive on, and
that he would deem it personal favor if
the Senator would replace his hat and re-
move to more tOrrid regions. The member
politely replaced the tile" pulled it on
tight and then withdrew, leaving the farm
er waiting patiently for a thaw. Now,
that's tine report, and / give it TO you
freely and without any hard feelings.