Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-06-24
BILL NYE ON ECONOMY.
A FEN PHILOSOPHICAL REMARKS
on THE VARIOUS GRADES OF
BARBER SHOPS.

A FEW PHILOSOPHICAL REMARKS
on THE VARIOUS GRADES OF
BARBER SHOPS.
read an essay recently on the
inside of a valued exchange on the
subject of economy, which greatly
interested me. 1t related to the
great expenses which really aggre-
gated from little ones, and dealt
with the matter Of daily papers,
bOOtblacks, shaving expenses,
baths, etc, and showed how mil
lions of the peoples money were
annually squandered in this way
that ought to go towards buying
books. The article set me to think
ing, and / resolved to Investigate
il. ! was more especially taken
with the idea of extravaganza in
the matter of BARRIERS and barber
shops. You can 60 to gorgeous
shop and pay fifteen cents and a
tip for a shave, or YOU can go
where you can avoid the tip, or
you can go to ten cent shop, or
you can get shaved on the Bowery
for five cents, or you can ignore the
whole business and let the wind
blow through yOnr whlskers.
Last week / was thunderstruck
when found how much could be
saved by changing from fifteen
cent barber TO a FIVE cent barber
and keeping it up for year.
Counting 800 days as fair esti-
mate Of the number on which I
would be apt TO shave, | found that
by this change I could have at the
end of the year $50, with which to
buy books or cross barred trousers
or any other means of intellectual
improvement which might choose.
| | could buy one of those expensive
books that Mr.. De Lux occasionally
gets out, or could hear Patti or
buy small YET fragrant dog for
$50. could also buy myself
some more hair or get my teeth
filed. ! could take a classical
course on the banjo or buy an inter
est in a bird dog with $50.
But I wanted, more than any.
thing else, TO get more books. l
wanted a new photograph album
most Of all. An album with Illus
trations iD it, TO lay on the pnrlor
table and explain to strangers in
low, passionate tones, is a never
ending source of pleasure TO the
thinking mind. When frontls-
piece showing the proprietor as he
looked with side whiskers, and
later, a view where he was photo
graphed with chin whiskers and
holding a war time plug hat in his
swollen hands; with a picture of
grandmother holding a bible as
though it might be glass bomb,
and "A front view OF sightless
child that makes up for its total
absence of eyes by introducing a
soul stirring mouth that would
make a golden haired ball of North
Carolina butter turn white IN a
single night. With all these little
specimens OF plastic art, | often
think that a photograph album
will do more toward entertaining a
mixed company than any other
literary work with which | am
familiar.
So / went into a low priced
barber shop a week ago and began
to save $50 for the purpose OF add
ing to my library. ! soon dis
covered that in a live cent barber
shop you get less consideration and
a lower grade Of lather up your
nose than elsewhere.
| believe that the man who
shaves you for FIVE cents makes bis
own soap. Possibly he works up
some OF his fattest patrons that
way. Anyhow, the soap he uses
smells badly and tastes worse than
any soap have ever participated
in. At this price of shave one
saves financially, but he loses
cutaneousIy.
The chair | sat in was not a good
easy chair, and the spiral springs
in it occasionally had to come to
the surface for more air. | became
very much attached 10 one OF these
springs, and the ten cents / saved
on the shave | had TO pay tailor
down town who trephined my
trousers for me.
The chair was also mentally a
wreck, and its memory was failing,
| thonght. Just as | would relax
my muscles and close my eyes this
tottering old chair would forget
itself. and the worn out trigger
that held the head rest would slip
about nine cOgs. Then with a
low death rattle it would fall about
a foot aud disturb my intellectual
faculties. You can get shaved
quicker for FIVE cents than you can
for fifteen, but the towels are more
cIammy and the bay rum is rather
more of a chestnut, | Judge.
Suffice it that am not gong to
continue the course Of economy
that had inaugurated for the
year, for am opposed to the hoard
ing and accumulation of a surplus.
Money is tending too much toward
Capitalization INV ,uav aud | do