New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-07-10
MISERY AND THE THERMOMETER.

II through some strange perversity Of jndg-
ment or mysterious desperation OF Prov
dence. the men and women who have peoplod
New orl1 since 1909 had gone elsewhere to
live ard move and make their fortunes. the
Island Of Manhattan would p' obably have been
a famous watering-place instead OF great
CITY But 1t is great city all the same. and
vet there are worse places in which TO spend
that period OF the year which is deferentially
designated rs the heated term. AT least that
is the loyal thing TO saw but the last ten DAYS
have gone far to wilt the enthusiasts whose
delight il is to proclaim that New York Is the
most comfortable hot-weather resort upon the
continent They have been DAYS Of the most
penetrating permeatlng. persistent misery
that has afflicted the community for many years.
OF course, the Thermometer tends VIII
promptly contradict this statement with an APP
peal to the records but what sensible person
cares a rap what the records saw II Ia aston
ishng that men who paw their bills and love
their children and generally behave themselves
will stoop 40 low as to defend s,ioh sneak
ing. hypocritcal. insolcnt miscrcant as the
thermometer. Mercury is well enough within
It's own proper sphere, but when 1t exceeds
those limits and begins to ascend tho tube 1t
seems to lose all moral sense forthwith. And
vet IL has CURED such asoendaDoy over the
human mind that It expects men to graduate
their expletives In conformity viii its deceit
full record. Who authorized an insignificant
thread Of quicksilver to lord it over the emo
tons OF mankind? What possible relation is
there between mortal agony that has made
itself at home In every fibre Of your frame
and the summer heat of an inscnticnt scale ?
Summer heat. indeed Blood-heat more like,
and boiling hot at that. The beasts that perish
are not so bcfooled And yet beings en-
dowed with immortal souls will stand gasping
before thermometer. while the perspiration
drops in mute nrotcst from their coat-tails.
and while, TO use Colonel IngersOls martial
phrase, their tongues hang out like flags OF
truce, and assure each other that they are not
so hot as they supposed they were because for
sooth their god Mercury is philHndering among
the seventies As il any conceivable syllogism
could prove a man cool when his vitals are IN
a furnace and his brain already fried to turn.
Under these circumstances an honest by |
stander must pursue one of two courses II he
would escaDe the odrrm Of being an accomplish |
In such perjury He must either fly instanter |
from contamination, or hurl defiance ut the
policc and knock sOmeb ody down by way OF
his own conscience.
As we have remarked, the weather has been
all the thermometers In Christen.
dom to the contrary notwithstanding. To be
snrc. the frivolous minded may have found
consolation in the fact that the metropolis
affords an ice-crcam "paror' on every other
block and a lemonade stand on every corner.
that ozone and sOftshcll crabs arrive daily
rom the ocean. and that palmleaf fans and
mint iueps are to be had Cor modest outlay.
But such recmpenscs are ephemeral, and it
3 triiling with the eternal vcrities to pin ones
'ath to them. In our opinion the only class
n the community who have had cause for ra-
ional rejoicing during the last ten DAYS are
hose who dwell upon the upper floors OF tall
lpaItment- houses, with rooms and Railways
,pcnng through from north to south. Our
steemed contributor, Mr.. Richard Scuddcr. In
describing his recent search for home. toos
occasion to recount the ills of such gIegarOus
enants. But now they have the laugh on him
lifted far above tho turmoil and reflection Of
he pavement, they breathe the clean, cool
freezes that sweep up from the sea at nightfall.
nd listen with rapture TO the auttering win
Iow-shade's tattoo upon the ceiling. The
oarse scream Of the licensed vcnder no
onger has the power to crack their ear-druma
nd the wall Of the tomcat on the palings has I