Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-06-29
SOCIAL OBSERVATIONS.
A Glimpse of Society Foibles and Folies.
(WRITTEN FOR THE LOWELL MASS Sun
RY ARGIa


A Glimpse Of Society Foibles and Folies
llWR1TTEN FOR THE LOWELL (MAss.) Su,
BY ARGUs.l
"Marry in haste and repent at leisure
is, | fear, what very large proportion O
those do, who take upon themselves th
cares and responsibility of marriage, if on
may judge from the experience and obser
vations of every day life. This is true es
peclally OF the women who enter the mar
ried state. They "repent at LEISURE evel
they did not ''marry in haste" when the,
md it is not bed of roses they have to Ii,
on, forgetting as they often do that th,
home is nearly always what the wife make
It,. A woman who tries to adorn and beau
tify her home, and to make it attractiyt
for her husband in the thousand and one
little ways that only woman can, cannot
fail to be happy and to retain the affection
| OF her husband until the inevitable "til
death do us part" comes to separate them
! How many women do this? Alasl but few
| but those few will bear me out in all say.
Why does Jane not be as careful of her
| personal appearance before George now
that he is her husband, as she was when he
was the lover? Why does she not meet
him at the door with a CHEEKY, loving smile
when he comes home from the harass and
care of busy day as, she did invariably in
the happy courting days? Is it because he
| no longer cares to see her attractive or that
he now cares nothing for the smile of well
come? No, emphatically no, for if there is
one thing more than another that pleases a
man it is to see his wife cheerful, attractive
and affable.
Nothing under heaven is more disagree.
able to man, or tends more to irritate him
than the necessity of having to send to his
wife such message as this for instance,
II am going to bring friend home to
supper tonight. Peg, try and pick yourself
up little" or 81 hope the house and
everything will be Strengthened out little
when 60 home, as am going to bring a
bachelor friend to spend the evening with
US, and want to show him what cozy
home, with an attractive wife in it, is.n It
is calling in the extreme to man to be
obliged to send such missives home before
him, and the woman who obliges him to
send them is far from being model wife.
When man marries he does so to make
home for himself and her whom he has
chosen to be the partaker of his Joys and
sorrows. To the wife falls the duty of in
creasing the former and of Tightening and
soothing the latter. Things have not gone
as well at the office or store as they might,
which naturally does not increase the hus-
bands good humor; the wife then has
duty to perform which is to dispel the shade
of care from his brow, and bring him back
to his natural self. Nothing is easier;
cheerful word, a bright smile, or should
either or both Of these fail, an arm thrown
around his neck will do the business in an
instant. ANY Of the innumerable charms
that are natural to woman, and that make
her what she is and by right ought to be,
queen in her own home, will bring the
smile of affection and good humor to the
lips of any husband if he be not brute,
but if he be, his poor wife has reason to
s'repent at leisure"
l am certain many of my lady readers
will take exception to what say, and as
sert if unhappiness exists in families, it is
owing entirely to the husbands neglect, to
his dissipated habits, or to come other of
the many evils to which men are unfortu-
nately addicted. l know men are to blame
for great deal, but Irepeat, real wife, /
mean one that is all the word wife implies,
can reclaim her husband in short time, or
else she made the mistake of her life in
marrying him. A man, generally speak
riage if his home is all it should be; if he
were addicted to them before, no woman of
common sense would marry him, for she
would know that to link herself to man
viciously inclined would only be to make
herself unhappy and to perpetuate vice.
Unfortunately there are girls so giddy as
to think their chief object in life is to get
married; they would marry anyone no mat
ter whom, rather than be "old maids. -
They look with contempt on those whom
they choose to designate thus, forgetting, in
their folly, that many are old maids from
choice and not from necessity. l have in
my minds eye at the present moment an
cold maid" who refused advantageous Of
fers, not because she did not like those who
made them, nor because she had any OBJ
jections to marriage in itself, but solely be-
cause she was the chief, though not the
only, support of her widowed mother, and
she would never consent to see her mother
depending on stranger. Would any of
those who sneeringly speak of "old maids
make such a sacrifice?
All honor to old maids; there are no
nQbler hearts under heaven than those that
beat in the breasts of some of them.
There are too many ill-assorted marri-
ages in these degenerate days, which can
lead to nothing but unhappiness and mise
ry. This is attributable to the too great
independence young people assume in af-
fairs of so great Importance now; if parents
are informed that their children are going
to marry, that is all, no asking advice, no
consultation, no parental blessing sought
as in former times. "We know our own
business" they say, sit is we who are to be
suited, not they" True, parents have no
right to prevent their children from marry
ing those they choose, provided the per-
Sons chosen are suitable, but this is no ex-
cuse for their not being consulted, for, be-
sides the mark of filial duty, it is to the
children's great advantage to be informed
on many things of which they know abso-
lutely nothing by those so well qualified to
enlighten them.
There are those who remain single SIM
ply from dislike to assume the cares and
duties of marriage, though they are moral
ly certain the proper state of life for them
is the married state; these people are SOW
ing the seed of regrets that will beaI bitter
fruit in after life. 1t is certain that marri-
age is of divine origin, and it is equally GER
tain it is the state for which the great ma
jjority of mankind is intended; now, il
Almighty God decreed that certain per.
son should do certain thing He must give
him the means to do it; this being admitted,
it is clear that if John is destined for the
married state, in order that he may marry,
and thus perform his allotted part in life,
some one must have been destined for him
as partner; now, if John refuses to play
his role in life by not marrying, he not only
endangers his own future happiness, but
that of his destined partner also, for if she
was allotted to him he was to her, but as she
is unable to assume her duties on account
of his refusal, he becomes responsible fol
all the evil consequences that will inevita-
bly, result from two persons being out OF
their sphere No matter if they had never
met before he decided not marry, he is az
culpable as if they had, for the Almighty
would certainly have arranged it SO that
they would, had it not been for his deci
sion.
But to return to those who are married
and happy, or, at least, who wish to be so
for it is to them address myself, if happi
ness exists in their households, if that per
feet union of feelings and interests makes
itself felt, which makes the domestic hearth
terrestrial paradise, and which was ont
of the principal ends the Almighty had il
a n, mi oh oh cl