The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1887-04-14
UNIQUE AND oRIoINAL
The Application for Work Submitted b
O Fresh California Youth.

The Application for Work Submitted b.
. Fresh California Youth.
As a specimen Of the extraordinary
correspondence which is sometimes laid
before the departments for examination,
the following from the Washington Critic,
notably original and unique-origlnal
where Ineligible Inc unique where un.
Ineligible, and the unique predominates.
This letter was written by q young Cali
f~ornian, who wants a place in the Railway
Postal Service, to the Congressman Of his
district, and by he latter laid before
Superintendent Nash
DEAR SIR: Your correspondent is . country.
man and a semi-acquaintance of yours-"semi,"
because the acquaintance is all on one side
his. Honesty and modesty, indigenous quail.
ties of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS OF the vine
yards and redwoods-push him on to this
acknowledgment. How like either is
ante-election days our candidatorial
brother knows us; in the dull post-polling time
we know him. MI. ~ do not know how
much OF q stranger I am to you, but I am apo0f
Young devil, seeking what may devour in the
way of q job. So, with your permission, wen
on to the animus of this prolix epistle, all apoi
ogies waving.
Will you please procure me q clerkship in the
United States Railway Postal Servicef I am q
resident Of this place; have been employed in
the reporting and mailing departments of sew
eral papers in this State; was for two years
captains clerk on board q South Atlantic coast
steamer; am fairly well educated; can decipher
any class of pen-work, from the cuneiform on q
Babylonish monolith to a Bodega granger's
cryptogramic communication in trGBstu toward
his Frisco commission merchant. I can speak
Spanish; enjoy excellent health; have a clear
conscience; am a Democrat from keel to truck,
and a good Methodist, with lots Of treasure laid
sn IL IIAArAA h~k ~@~a ~~ Aa-Hh .,~N4-kr~afa
".
This, sir, is the sum total of my claims ~ on
your kindness. I don't make q heavy case. ]
must admit, but the gods help them who help
themselves, and having done my best, await
the labors of the divinities and the coming OF
the inevitable. Mr. don't consider mt q
crank from the tone of my talk. l know you
are like all representatives of q loving con.
stituency, bored continually with wants" SO
tried to vary the style of the thing. and il pos
sible throw in q little humor to mitigate your
misery while reading-a clownish sort OF
charity. In this community I am a quasi
comedian, q microscopic Bill Nye, a rustic
devotee of ITALIA, and like Lear, even in
seriousness, elemental or mental, the fool
stays with me, The curtain is going down
ON your present Congressional engagement, Il
it notf OH well, when we get the modus
eperdndi of the United States Senatorial bust
ness into our immediate hands, and anti
millionaires become eligible to the National
toga, we may advance you from the House to
the Chamber. Hora .Jugn. I have writer
what I thought would give you an idea Of YOU
| correspondents abilities, and what I hoped
would appeal to. your good nature and innate
desire to lend q hand to q friend indeed
mean in need. 20. K, anyhow because /;
friend in need, is q friend, indeed.r) So ap
point you chairman OF committee OF my claim
and anxiously await your report. Please le
me hear from you or from this.
am your obedient servant, etc.