St. Paul daily globe., 1887-01-03
PERLEY Ana THE DOG.
A Good Story of How VyelI.Known
Press Agent Built Up Freak.

Press Agent Built Up Freak.
]. Charles Davis i'll Clipper.
Frank l.. Perley is press agent whose
pleasant task has been that of supplying
journalistic enthusiasm for newly discovered
freaks OF Dame Nature in her most capri
eiouS moods. Frank has found freaks num-
berleSs, and also those which would have
been nameleSS but for his vivid imagina-
ton. While in the employ of the Barnum
circus he has often been seen marching a
file of cornstalk editors up to the white ele-
phant and solemnly assuring them that the
animal was Snow-white. The moss-backS
would rub theil eyes and marvel at their
optical delusions as they passed slowly but
silently on to the next wonder.
Perley has lattery been boomer in
general for freak store in the Qauker City.
and while there he earned widespread
reputation for enterprise by writing a ver-
sion of The Mikado'' that was played in
three minutes and during its run was gem
orally performed forty-seven times every
day. He also invented new kind of
bloodhound for tWo-minute version of
''Uncle Toms Cabin" and is said to have
dramatized the Lords Prayer" for museum
purposes.
Now, it happened that business was on
the wane when Frank read that Kit Clark
and Nate Behrens had captured an enor-
nous fish in Europe and arrived in New
York with their prize. No time was to be
lost. Perley addressed letter to Kit at
once and wanted to purchase the fish for
the museum. Kit replied that Miss Fish
might object, and that they had dog mot
OF the yellow Variety larger than
any other canine on earth. Core
spondence followed which resulted in the
dog being sold to the museum for ''some
umpty-Seven thousand dollarS.'' so Perley
says. and being shipped by express to Phil
adelphia, involving ''an additional expense
of some steen thousand dollars more"
When his dogness arrived all the two-foot
rules and tape-lnes in the house were
brought out, and Perley was looked for The
sage was discovered in his sanctum, with
work on cuneiform characters and Sanscrt
lexicon open before him. He was engaged
translating the label OH a gin bottle and
writing an essay on the use of Old Tom as
a beverage by the ancient Egyptians during
the erection of the Great Pyramid He
reluctantly paused in his labors, carefully
adjusted the Byronc curl, now the sole Or
nament on the top of his head, which
toll and modesty have caused to slightly
resemble the southeast end of water
melon in July, and in a dignified
manner descended to the "man hall' to
view the dog" He saw the dog. One
hurried glance was enough. He escaped
because the dog did not see him. Perley's
manner changed in an instant. He
rushed up stairs fou at atime siezed his
pencil and dashed off touchngly beauti-
full story about the dogs having saved the
life Of the crown prince of of Camden by
jumping onto the table and sezing chick
en-bone on which his high royalness was
in the act of choking.
THAT" said he, will do for the Sum
dav BeanshOoter. They like sensation"
Then he manifolded numerous para
graphs. stating that the dog was xteen feet
long from tip to tip. weighed Just nine and
a quarter pounds less than Jumbo. and was
tall enough to stand on floor and look
over dining-rOom table Polishing up his
diamond solitaire, and taking long look
al the weather through the "Old Tom
bottle, Frank started out to deliver the
copy" At the first corner he met re-
porter. and they went to the nearest soda
fountain to read the item. The reporter
liked it. Frank saw this. and said:
Say. old fellow, just change that up,
and make him look into street car WIN
dow
1t was done, and the press agent went in
search of another victim. Two blocks far
Cner down the street lie called III and asked
a bartender what time it was, and then
slowly wiping his lips with a napkin,
changed the next copy" and made the
dog look over a street car. This was duly
delivered, when he suddenly forgot the
name of the day city editor of The
Fog Horn, and went into a drug store
to inquire. When he came out of the
back room, he had the dog looking
into second-story windows. Several
calls followed, and at every call there was
a change of copy until, when Frank ar
rived at the Office of The Weekly Wad, the |
last on his list the dog was calmly looking |
over the top of the new postoffce. The |
Wad editor read the copy intended for |
him. and Notwithstanding the fact that he, |
like all other city editors, had implicit faith |
in penciled English, he paused, and. MOTTO |
ing hectic flush on the agents manly |
brow. determined to investigate He sal !
lied forth and found the dog surrounded |
by crowd of reporters, all attracted by the
startling copy"
The dog was printed. Perley went home
and his wife still wonders why he threw |
the bottle of picked snakes out of the |
window the next morning,
Perley wont even talk dog" now, but |
confines his labOrs to the manufacture of
Thompson street cannibals and North Car
olina Zulus.