Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-13
PLEASANT.

An old man keeping an ice cream saloon likes to see young people enjoying them selves.-New Orleans Picayune.
 Oil has been very weak for some time. A natural effect of being "struck" so much, doubtless. Chronicle-Telegraph
 An expert opinion: Wife-tIn the game of lawn tennis, my dear, what is the most diff cult thing to acquire?" Husband-s' The lawn. Pluck.
 Carlos-'sThere is a man who possesses & cool million." Dinks-" Why do you single him out from other miIlionaires?' Carlos Because he made his money selling ice."- Epoch.
 Tourist-"You have a fine farm, indeeda' Farmer-"Yes, reckon it's one of the best" :" T.-"What is the most profitable source of income?" F.-"Summer boarders "-Boston Budget.
 man at Florence, Ariz., has taken so much calomel that these hot days the mer- cury rises to his head and he gets so top heavy that he has to walk with crutch- Mohaye Miner.
 Detective-Confess and you will save your life. Prisoner-But my confession would hang all three of us. Deteotive-Well, what of that? You will always have the conscious ness of knowing that you always told the truth.-Judge.
 The meanest man we ever heard of was
 
 death and then raked up the carcasses and tried them out over slow fire in order to get the Paris green out of them to sell back to the ggist.-Dansvilie Breeze.
 Wife-"John, why didn't you wake me up last night during the fire on the next block?'' Husband-"It didn't amount to much :" Wife-"Well, the next time I wish you sleep if there is a fire anywhere near"
 It takes the foundation of 8 big hotel, a carload of stakes to mark lots with, a street railroad franchise, a Hume and irrigation company, and an auction sale of lots to make town in southern California. A piece of land is also needed.--San Francisco Chron- icle
 Our obituary editor has discovered that the reason no deaths occurred wheE Shadrach the fiery furnace is owing to the fact that neither of the trio propounded the query, f'Is it hot enough for your'-Norristo wn Herald.
 Fsret tsaIsslatlJ-@sSs sSsffsrie.'' Second sales lady-'I am here. /" "Are you busya" ''Yes D ''Where is the other sales1ady?' "She has not come yet. What do you want?" q want some one to go and ask the lady cashier if she can change S1o0 bill for woman."- Omaha World"
 Woman (to drug elerk)- enny postage stamps, young man: Clerk (smartly)-Yes, madame; two cents apiece, or two for four Woman (also smartly)-Gimme two, an one of lem is fer you. Clerk-for me-What fora Woman-To paste on top O your head to keep your brains from oozin' out.
 "That Robinson is hard man to collect bill from" remarked disappointed collec- tor; Che can never be found" Were you at his house?" "Yes; and the servant said he wasn't in. If he goes to heaven when he dies, which isn't at all likely" went on the collector, 'she'll hang around the main en- trance, and when he hears knock will say: Peter, if it's anybody for me please tell lem Pm not in"
 "Did you heah that some young Washing ton fellahs have organized what they call the Bwentwood Widing clubi" said Clarence to a friend. "Tell me are tkey veal gentlemens': "Yes; most of them have that reputation" "And so they go in and wide at breakneck speed, the same as-aw-these jockeys" Certainly 'tWell, my dear fellah, I cawn't understand what they do it for, when the stweet cabs are so much safeh, you know."- Washington Critic.