The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-02-03
LET'S HAVE A SMILE.

Northern Visitor-Is this the SUNNY
south I've heard so much about?1'
southern resident-"Yes, bat YOU was
20 long comm we put it on ice to keep
for ye. Life.
Little Oot-I heard your mamma tell
my mamma you were getting to be q
awful good bov.
Littl- Dick-Yes am.
'She said she knew now what you
wanted for Christmas, cause she heerd
you a-prayln for them"
Yes; L prayed real loud so she
would. Omaha World.
Not long since l overheard two Ten
nessee negroes who had met eacn other
" Howdy do slrP" Poorly, poorly; Is
got mighty misery in my back. How's
you making it?' "Me2 OH l kicking,
but not high; hutt@ing. but l can't
hy."-Detroit Free Press.
Gothamite-Living in Golden City,
eh2
Western Man-Yes, and l find the
western climate delightful.
How DO Heu like the people?"
We'll, the fact is, | have only been
there tw , years and have not been aole
TO get IN The best society yet; there is
so much of the old family caste there
you know
There is2"
lob, yes, some of the people have
been there six years I'd Bits.
A fat woman entered crowded street
car and, seizing strap, stood on a
gentleman'S toes.
As soon as he could extricate himself
be arose and offered her his seat.
You are very kind, sir" she said.
Not at all, madam" he replied, Its
not kindness, it's self-defense New
York Sun.
Servant-Ifyou please mum, I'd like
don't know whether it s done or not.
Housekeeper-Mercy, Mary, l wish
you wouldn't bother me with SUCH
things. know nothing about cooking
and besides I'm busy just now writing
my weekly letter on household receipts
for the Bugle.-Tjd BITS.
Conductor-Do you expect US to take
that boy through on a haf ticket?
MatrOn-CerIa iDly. The agent who sold
the ticket saw the boy.
Didn't he ask his age?"
No. He didn't seem to think it neces-
sary. Have you a pair Of scissors on
the train2
"Sciss ors ?"
eyes. 1 want to let the hem out of his
trousers. Omaha World.
Edith-Seemst to me every one of these
ancient sculptures is from the nude.
3 Yes; how wise those old artists
were!"
Wiser"
why, yes; they had sense enough to
know the dresses of the period would go
out of fashion, so they omitted them.
Omaha World.
John Habberton, the author of
"Helen's Babies" which created such
furore some time ago, has just published
another book of more or less merit
"Habberton is an inveterate joker and
an adept French scholar" said a Fifth
avenue man recently. Just about the
time Helen's Babies left the press John
published an anonymous letter in q
New York paper soliciting TRANSACTIONS
of the following couplet, which he
claimed was written by French poet
many years ago:
"Pas de lieu
Rhone que nous.
Answers came pouring in from all
quarters of the country. The literal
translation of the lines was my ariably
these words:
mot of place
RhOne than we.
"a dispute then arose among the cor
respondents as to what the French poet
really wanted to say. Alter long epls-
tolary duel it was finally agreed that a
more graceful translation of the lines
would be found in the following words ::
"Not farther from the
Rive Rhone than we,
"After Habberton had his fill of the
fun, he wrote another letter to the same
paper, this time over his real name, in
which he showed that
"Pas de lieu
Rhone que nous,
According to the pronunciation of the
French language was
"Pah duh lyou
Roam kuh moo;
Or, in other words,
paddle your own canoe"
THE laugh that went up at the ex-
pense of the scholarly correspondent
Lok