Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-08-04
DAILY HERALD.
LIVING IN THE COUNTRY.
Why = NevvsPaPerman Tried -
murglartne His Home.

murgnarlne HIS Home.
A iournalist who has been in the habit
cf sending his family to the seashore
each summer to be loaded up with
malaria and eaten up by mosquitoes,
Sletermiucd this year to try the .coun-
try brands Of these articles, and con-
sequently took house in the suburbs
where city taxes and county roads
help to keep the inhabitants from be-
ing too blissfully happy. He moved
out last week, and for three days he
made the bulk of his friends weary
with his rhapsodies on the beauties of
life in the country where the
grass grows and the birds
and bullfrogs made the air musical
day and night; where the cherry trees
tempt the wayfarer and the bulldogs
warn him against falling into tempta-
ton. All this and much more had
been discoursed until his friends grid
ed up their loins and fed at his ap-
proach. To-day, however, he came
to the Office and his usual budget OF
country news was not opened; on the
contrary, he sat down at his desk and
never a word spoke he to any ons.
The city editor, fearing that something
had happened to him, came to him
and in kindly tones beseeched him to
unbosom himself. With sigh the
journalist said: "You know I've
moved into the country" The city
e,1;tor .. ,aned for he knew it OF
ven. aYou soe, rye hssail Sc stuck tub On on
Ine place snat ,e stayed out there
sse5y n -. until last night, when |
La. some business that called me into
town. went in and finished what
had to do as quickly as possible and
took the 10 O'Clock train for home. ~
reached the station in about twenty
minutes. Now. the road to my house
is through little wood, around com
field and across two meadows: IL Is a
beautiful daylight road, but about the
worst after-dark pathway YOU ever
come across. l was right until struck
the woods, and though the moon was
shining, that place was rs dark as a
pantry. got in SO far that it was i'm
possible to retrace my steps. Ihe
natives, understand. use lanterns in
their after dark peregrinations and, as
the cigar store signs say, SO
will in future; but last night | did
not know this custom, and l went
stumbling on, keeping in the path by
the aid of few matches l had in my
pocket. l finally reached the corn
field and then walked into ditch.
extricated myself and proceeded on
my journey, and after several adven--
tures with inquisitive cows / reached
my home. Now, thought l, as l put
my key in the door, my troubles are
over. Alas, they had only just begun.
1t was new key and new lock, and
they had never met before and did
not take to each other on first ac-
quaintance. / worked away for a
quarter Of an hour without results,
aud determined to ring the bell; but
there is no bell, so pounded away
until / awakened every person
IN the neighboring houses ana
every dog for twenty miles around.
Nv folks, however, slept the sleep
Of the Just. Then tried the win
dows, all commercially locked and
barred. Locked, too. In my despair
1 broke pane OF glass in the sash
next the to door, and thrust my hand
through the aperture and slipped tie
bolt. l entered, but alas only to find
that the main kitchen door was inn
pregnable. Sadly retraced my steps
and went into the yard and amused
myself and enraged the two million
dogs that belong around our part by
heaving bricks at my wife's bedroom
window. Peacefully she slept on.
Then went to the front door again
and kicked the paint off it. When l
had bruised my feet sufficiently the
good lady awoke and let me in. |
talked for awhile and then she said
Its blessed thing that the children
are asleep and cannot hear such awful
language
II am perfectly sure that every
man, woman and child in the neigh
borhood has me down as thoroughly
abandoned person, and l suppose a
committee from the church will call
and condole with my wife to-day.
What makes me mad," he concluded,
lis the certainty that while / could
not get into the blamed place, the
first burglar that comes along will
have no difficulty in making his en-
trance and wandering unmolested all