The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-11-20
A Perfecs Definition.

Harvard Lampocn.
Mamma-Edith, can you tell ~ what s.faiths
Edith tetat Ooh, yes; it's relieving what
you know isn't true.
A New Trust
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
'.There is something in the parer about the
organization of steel trust remarked Nc
Swilligen
"a Steal trust" replied squildig 1.-THE hood.
1ers must be organizing
Often Enough Him.
New York Epoch
Barber ito countryman in chair1--You don't
get shaved very often. guess, sirl
Countryman-Don't git shaved ofteA!
to town oncet month mister, an b gosh. I git
shaved every time cum.
ABie Wash a Christian Duty.
New York Sun.
John" said Mott street Sunday school ,
teacher do YOU know what cleanliness is next.
to godness' meansP
yep. responded John cit mean Mclean
man putee clean shit evly day."
She Rose To the Emergency.
BURLINGTON Free Press.
AS William bent over her fair face, he wis
pered: Darling, If | should ask you in French
If / might kiss YOU what would you answer2.
She, summoning up her scanty knowledge of
the French:
BILLET doux.'
That Was All.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
New York Wife-Why. John Henry, What is
that expressman carrying big bundle hers
Sunday morning fort
New York Husband-That isn't the express
man. love. It's only the carrier bringing tho
SUNDAY morning paper
1t Looked Suspicious
Harper's Bazaar.
How is your SON getting along in New York.
Mr.. Hayseedf"
81 guess he Amt dom as well as he saws he is
He WAS hnJ her la an a. a
shirt an white collar. rayther suspect he's
behind with his washerwoman-"
ACold Chill
New York Sun.
Madam Ito servantl-what is Miss Clara do
ing in her room Marie2
Servant-She is reading a love story by How
ellis, mum
Madam-And what did she ring fort
Servant-She wanted more coal the fire,
mum.
Where the Rawhide Was.
Buffalo Courier.
did she have rawhide when she assaulted
your asked his Honor of a meek gentleman
who accused his wife of assault with intent to
kill.
mo, your Honor" said the poor man, feeling
of himself tenderly, I'm the one that had the
raw hide; in fact, your Honor. have it still"
A Desirable Offer.
Lincoln (Neb) tate journal.
81 wonder if it is customary in England for
children are borns
in that country
'What is its"
'Tobacconist to the royal family
Feminine Opinion of the Minstrels.
New York Sun.
Mr. Waldo looming from the minstrels,-Are
Miss Ssh BreezysWeli ELI no o o. Mr. Waldo I can
hardly say am. Such performances. think.
possess certain lack of refinement that is
rather trying to the finer sensibllities of ones
nature; and aside from that many of the jokes
this evening had gray whskers on them
Happiness All Round
Bobby had been pretty good little boy all
wis niT na snd te os
THAT virtue is its reward. I mean by that,
that every time you do what you ought to do
s.Oh, yes" responded Bobby, intelligently,
land now. pa, you'll give me another piece Of
pie you'll feel good, too"
Kindly Assisted.
Washington Critic.
'.Look here, my friend said a well dressed
want drink very badly. Cant you help me
outl"
Il can, sir" rejoined the guardian of the
peace, who was of Hibernian extraction.
''Ah, thanks. Here's something for YOU by
drinkr'
Right around the corner to. your lift, sorr;
yeze'n find poomp an dipper."
Spoke Too Soon.
81 want to ask you question, Miss Smith,.
he said. in a low, tender tone of voice, land
may not hope that you will say yes, that you
Really Mr.. Sampson" interrupted Miss
Smith austerely. Il beg of You not to go on 1t
THAT you,r he went on, not needing her in,
terruption, will go with me to Delmonico's for
a dish of ice creama'
Yes" said Miss Smith, without austerity.
The Right of Petition.
.ss1r. Walkin have called to see if you will
sign petition for"
Yes, certainly hand it here
Mr.. Walkin signs, and Mr.. Dalkin places the
petition in his pocket.
BY the way, Dalkin, what is that petition
aboutl'
..Oh, nothing much; it is only to ask Congress.
to plant lot Of cholera germs in civ I've
got pretty nearly every citizens name to i. It's
a glorious thing this right of petition IN our
country
With Her WhoIe Heart.
Boston Transcript
..And so you going TO be married?'
Yes; and am SO happy. I love Charles
with my whole heart"
HAS he any property"
Eyes; / believe And as he isn't very we'll,
I have permitted him to make will in my IA
vor"
Very good in him. I'm sure But you have
some property of your own. Have you willed
that to Charlesf'
What ridiculous idea! Of course not. but
I've fixed it SO that he can't get hold of it,"
A Clergyman Fooled.
Texas Siftings.
A clerical-looking gentleman. IN the hope of
a contribution. entered the Office OF
Texas newspaper, and. finding the editor at his
desk, said:
Il am soliciting aid for high toned gentle
man of refinement and intelligence, who Is IN
need of little ready money. but is too proud
to make known his sufferlngs
why" exclaimed the editor. "Im the only
man in town that answers that description.
What's the gentleman's namer