The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-09-12
COL. OcHILTREE.
The Quiet Way In Which He Laid Out
Wandering Arkansas Minstrel.


The Hon. Thomas Philharmonic Ochiltree,
perhaps better known in his native
iuugles as the Lone Star Truth EN-
broiderer, stin holds the champion belt
A deep conspiracy was recently laid TO eetH
away from him. The contestant was power
fully backed up by friends who knew him at
home and could testify that not even a curl
Gus jury would believe him except when he
was talking in his sleep. He was a mild look
ing gentleman with wall eyes and no 'front.'
teeth, walking on crutches and had only one
arm and a game leg, but he was all there
when it came to plain and fancy story
telling. He was from Arkansas, ana hGd
graduated with honors in the Twisters' acad-
envy and his hackers were sangulne. lt was
resolved not to give OchiltFee any warning or
time for preparation. The Arkansas cham
pion was suddenly sprung on him one even
ing at the Hoffman, when Thomas seemed out
of trim.
The conversation was artfuIly turned on
frontier playfulness. Thomas closed one eye
thouChtfully One man said he had seen
Billy the Kid shoot two men Ill succession
through the pockets of his ulster at measured
distance of seventy yards. Thomas mead
dropped and he emitted a feeble snore'
A. other told q CORY anecdOte or Broncno
Sam. who kept three cemeteries going IN
one horse town Thomas was profoundly
asleep. The Arkansas champion cleared his
throat, fixed one eye on Thomas and the other
on the Bougerau, and thus filling his soul with
double vision of beauty began. lie had just
dined with q friend named Ridgely-fF alCer
Eidgely. Walter was deacon OF the Metho-
dist church at Texarkana and secretary or the
Young Mems Christian Association (Here
Nr. Ochiltree opened one eye) He was one
of the n1eel1est and longest suffering men IN
Arkansas Here Tom opened the other eye.)
One day Ridgely was crossing river. A
drummer was on the ferry The drummer
got into an argument with the ferryman ana
agreed to leave tue matter TO Rldgely.
Ridrely accepted the position of mediator ana
shot both ferrymen dead. He thought that
was the best way of settling the question.
The ferrvlnen each had brother. After the
double funeral, at which Ridgely OBLIGATED
and offered up a touching prayer the brothers
slipped out of the cemetery and hid IN the
bush at a turn in the road. RIdgely APP
preached on his old roam mare singing over
the Shining River" Both fired. Ridgely
dronn,d. The brothers ran up. They thought
him dead. just as they bent over him he
raised ND, winlxed at each and shot both their
heads Off Then he mounted the old roam
mare and trotted in TO lead the singing.
AS the Arkansas champion finished this
simple little tale Tom nodded once or tWlce
and then began:
"Well.n he said, sleepily, "that reminds me
y.
ouietest man in the town and that quiet you
couldn't think In the fall of 80 or the spring
of ,7O-lemme see-it was III 80, because had
inst cot back from my visit to the car at
ST Petersburg Aieck and l were chums,
Won know in 80 Bill Schining was runn1n
q barber shop in Laredo. was sh lvlng my
fellow men at the Laredo bank, but Blll, ne
said a razor was good enough for him. wen
enc dav I was in at Schilling's gettin' my
4..ll,1o ,,,ov-ad N Bill was taikin' to me
about my salvation, N then the chatter
turned on a stump tailed bull pup Bill had. 4
Bill was telIin' me how in flea time that doc
would sometimes spin like buzz saw, try
ing to ketch one. Well, as he was taIkln'
N Bill Shawn easy, for my skins tenderer Il
a 1n1lIzey's, Bill ketches sight of two mer
comm by.
EXCUSE me, kurnel,' said he Certainly
William said l. Then he slipped behind The
door and ketched up a shot gun n--plunk =
pIunk!-he dropped 'em like frogs. l glanced
around. because my skin is so tender wa
afraid 10 have ELL get nervous, but he says
still srnilin', Beg pardon, kurnel, and says
aNot at all William n he says, AS wa
savin' krrnel, that bull pup, when he gets
bucly flea right on the TIP of his tall-and theI
he finished the story and gave me the cleanes
shave I ever had in my life except last w1nte
whom went to-Wall-s-t-r-e-e-t.
tovrI, marshal came in and nabbed him jus
as he was dashin me with bay rum trom Tn
Rio Grande."
The coIoners eye had gradually closed dur
inn this narrative His head sank quietly Oh
his breast end he was sound asleep. The Ar
kansas champion gazed a minute or two
silence Then he drew from an inside poke
a gold medal he had won IN the ntelsUat
contest last year, laid it reverentIy BESIDE to
colonel and hed.-New York World.