Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-12-02
A Remedy Against BARRIERS.


BARRIERS will talk. There Is no help
for that Their jaws must keep time
with the movements OF the scissors. II
is not the mere talking that Is annoy
ing. but it is what they say and their
manner of saying IL that nearly drives
strong man crazy. III. for instance,
they were only to make such remarks
az. What noble brow you haver or
Your dome of thought reminds one of
Daniel Webster or II they we're TO
abuse some man you do not ! Ike. the
sitter would listen very complacently.
and some bald-headed people know
would want to have the ends Of their
locks trimmed four or five times Il week
just to hear what the COMPOUNDED fool
Of barber had to say The trouble
with BARRIERS is that they do not cay
what you want to listen TO. The bar
bers will persist in discovering that
your hair is falling out and there is
nothing in heaven above or on the
earth below that will arrest the fugitive
hair except bottle of each particular
BARRIERS magic lotion, so he says.
Another thing that worries barber
more than its legitimate owner is dan
druff As nine persons in ten have
more or less dandruff on their heads the
barber has fine field to work in. as it
were. Dandrnff is another dread ma
lady that is hurryng the unfortunate
man into his gave, unless he il willing
to shell out reluctant half dollar for
q bottle of some vile stuff that the
azores ad barber is willing 10 part with
for the consideration mentioned. so he
says.
There is remedy for the loquaciiy
Of the colored barber. There is II balm
IN Gilead, so TO speak. Of course the
eloquence of the barber cannot be closed
off entirely, a. gas is shut off; But the
colored barber can be temporarily dis
couraged. He will run his hands
through your har and say:
''Boss, l kin glib you remedy for
fifty cents what will knock dat are
scurf IN yer head colder den a pan
cake"
Then you say:
look here, my colored friend. yon
have got one foot in the grave. Your
liver is out Of order. | can tell it By
your complexion. Your complexion 10
too yellow. You b ad better get bot
lie OF DR.. McFraud' liver encourager.
He will be surprised if not shocked.
tried that game on barber. and bis
reproachful look will never be forgot
ten while memory holds her seat
Usually one applicat on is sufficient
but occas onally he rallies toward the
close of the matinee. his system re-
acts, and he says timidy:
BOSS, yer amt answered my ques-
ton yet about de bottle of magic lotion
for de scurf -
All you have to do is to ask him if he
has read DR.. Pillkn's treatise on dan
iruff He will reply he has not, and
then YOU say:
''Dr. Pilkins is Of the opinion that
landruf is produced by the activity of
The brain. People who have torpid
brains. or no brains at all, are never
troubled with dandruff What you
need is some dandruf in your wool. Ii
you colored folks had more dandruff
in your head there would be more OF
you in congress. If you don't quit cur
ing white peoples heads Of dandruR
their brain will dwindle away and they
W II set up barber shops, and then you
VIII have more competition than you
want in the barber business"
This first dose wi Il cure the colored
barber of dandruh, falling out OF the
hair or whatever else troubles him.
Alter the above remedy has been APP
piled you can get your hair cut ten
times day, and he will never again
venture to prescribe for ''de scurf in
yer head" Try it.-EleE. f. Street,
IN Ne,0 York Mercury.