Arizona weekly enterprise., 1887-12-24
ESSAY ON LIGHTNING.
Dissertation in Which Illusions to Sci
 ence Are Carefully Avoided.

ence Are Carefully Avoided.
 Lightning is considered by scribes to be one of the most difficult things to write on, from the fact that it won't hold still long enough.
 It belongs to the genus Eli, since it is SO very likely to get there, or come near 1t. When it starts to go anywhere it does not pause along the road anywhere to play marbles or take nap in the fence corner, and. if it gets loose and ever so small a start of you, it is almost useless for you to start after it to catch 1t. Quick is word of too many letters tor it, and space and time are not in its bright lexicon. We see the. flash be- lore we hear the thunder, though it is the latter that makes us jump. If the lightning ever hits you squarely it is hardly worth your while to wait to hear tie thunder. Lightning generally comes in bolt, but just how many yards thers are in bolt has never been accurately measured, and it is one of the greatest things to bolt in the known world, but it can not be bolted down. You observe those red streaks issuing from wonder cloud. We'll, if you would lay your hand on one of them and try to feel how slick it was, you would find that 1t would be too hot to mention leisurely.
 Some people are not afraid of light hing, but we always step aside and let 1t pass, without ever trying to hinder 1t. That is the best way. It is said that it never strikes man twice in the same place, but we don't see how it should have any need to. You should never get struck by lightning, but if you should be, never strike back. Some men who are struck never say any thing about it. and never growl and cave around mad.
 Dr. Franklin was the first man who put salt on its tail and got it into bot He and securely corked it, though now adays it is the fellow outside of the bottle who gets corked. Prof. Morse taught it to walk on the slack wire and do various tricks; but there is a great deal of lightning lying around loose yet. Lightning goes for conductors, but we never hear of any street car conductors getting struck by it.
 Scientists say that lightning is elec- tricity, and that electricity is lightning, which is about as close to it as they can come without getting hurt. It is hard for them to boil it down and orecipitate it to find out the ingredients, because it is too apt to precipitate itself. You can not handle it without gloves, and if it was to slip down into your pocket you would find it necessary 90 throw it out as quick as possible, for it will eat a hole in the pocket. It will not be long before it will be used in our coast de- fense to knock vessels into the water, as dynamite is uow used to knock them out of water.
 Lightning is certainly one of the most striking of the heavenly elements; a little fashy, it is true, but how sublime and ah- inspiringl Watch that bolt issuing from the dark bosom of that cloud; get up oa the fence so you can get an un- obstructed view of it. Don't take yoltr eyes of of it. Observe those beautiful zig-zagS; how sharp are they at the angles! Take my spectacles An, let me first wipe the glasses. Keep your eyes on the bolt. See how it gets nearer and nearer to the earth. Isn't it like fiery vein? Try this spy glass on it; first get it to a focus Not there. Over to your left more. It is going to light on some tree, no doubt. An, there it has settled on the village stceple. It is going to stay there on the vane. No. see, it has begun to slide down the spire and the shingles, etc, get loose and follow after it. but it will soon root it's way into the earth and the sexton will put q brick On the hole and keep it in.
 When it lightens you should close the windows and doors: if you have your aead out the window jawing at your neighbor, step back and put the window town, even if he gets to have the last word. Send each of the family to a different room; it is unlikely that every loom in the house will be struck, so tome of you will be saved. Don't hano lround the kitchen stove where the lired girl is cooking, as lightning might come down the chimney and hit you, or Four wife come in the door, with the same effect. Umbrellas attract light ling. so never ask another man te lliow you to walk under his in 8 storm. If you are under tree and you notice ;he lightning climbing down it, you lad better run. If t cakes after you, Sen go it lively. Observe the distance | is from you and regulate your speed accordingly, If you have any metal tbout you throw it away-money or tnything else. Dodge around the trees with celerity. If it turns to head you )ff shift your course without delay- Anyway don't let it get any nearer to Iou, and the result will be that it will get kind of tired out and disgusted and ;un into the ground. You can then sit lown on q log and fan yourself with 7our hat. Observe these rules, and if 7ou ever get hit you can charge it to me and collect it-.A. W BelEatO, Gn De- rou Free Press,
 Exempt From Execution.
 Lawyer (to Uncle Rastus, who is in 'ome trouble)-You say the sheriff threatens to sell you out2