The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-05-03

l see that your Grand Duke is having his
Ducal gates fixed in case of emergency-that
Is il case some evil disposed ''cuss" should
feel like throwing a goat or Chinese bomb
over the walls into the Ducal enclosure, Just
for the fun of the thing, you know. Nice
little extra solid iron gates on either side,
Just the thing for a gattling gun, or some
thing of that sort-one gate ranges up the
street and the other dowu-whioh would
make it warm for any duffer who might try
the practical joke biz on your Grand Duke.
This puts me in mind of similar affair
which happened down at Christmas Island
while l was there. The Grand DIXIE there
has palace similar to yours, and he had it
all fixed up with little iron gates, in the same
way, for fear of You Lie and his crowd.
"Who's You LieTn Why, he's the boss Chi
naman there-the chap the Grand Duke beat
out Of the $4,000 on promise of getting that
opium license, and then the Grand Duke
went back on him and let Bung Chung have
the license for $4,000. Well You Lie was
determined TO scare the money out of the
Grand Duke, but he wouldn't scare worth q
cent, and fortified his stronghold, determined
to take You Lie on the wing If he came fool
ing round that Ducal mansion. But You Lie,
him heap too muchee sayee,n and worked
roots IN another way securing all the sand
paper gin in the market, he distributed 1t
iudiclOusly around and in the Ducal hamlet
IN big doses, so that the army had no diff
Guilty IN getting all they wanted without NOV
ing out OF their tracks. When everything was
quiet You Lie and his friends, armed with
gODgS and tOmtomS, surrounded the Ducal re-
sidence, after the electric light was turned of,
and made midnight hideous with their noise
snd yells. The Grand Duke, who had retired
with ''all he could hold, was awakened out
of his 'sandpaper gin slumber, demanding
riercely of his rHlsf what was the matter
what's trumpS?" The rdlst was too much
80 ,-hz h. II
Duke, with q yell, Ieaped from his couch,
dOnned his malo aud put on his pos
tage stamp over his right eye, buckled
on his state sword, palling on his top-boots,
and strobe out TO ascertain the cause
of the horrible uprOar. On reaching
the outer entrance OF the Dueal mansion, the
Grand Duke was completely paralyzed to
ind all his brave warriors apparently life
less, and SCORES of " dead marines u lying
around loose. oh says the Grand Duke,
there must have been fearful battle to
cr5ats all this carnage, and-ha : l have it
this is the work Of that deTilish You Lie,
who is trying to capture that big bag OF
shekels l beat him out of fog trying to tamper
with and brIbs q high official. He won't get
them; they are 'planted'-hal Ia ~ The
Grand Duke then rushed out and endeaT-
Ored to "EhOop her up but 1t was no go
the army was to man hOTs lie combat
and the Grand Duke stood alone in his
glory. An ezra yell from lou Lies forces
caused the Grand Duke to clear the rear wall
at siugIe bound, and retire to the stable to
secure horse TO make his escape to the
mountains, bat finding You LES crowd there
II force, ne used strategy and beat a retreat
mzkzi, hastily followed BY portion of You
Lies gang with murder in their eyes Here
the Grand Dukes strategic skill stood him
yell IN hand, for nearly directly opposite the
1uakaI vail lived an old haols and his wife,
Eho were friendly 70 hin, and here the
Grand Duke rushed, and begged the old lady
TO stow him away from the relentless You
Lie and his gang. The Grand Duke was
taken into the back yard and quickly low
cred into an unused well, and hen-coop
placed over the opening, just as You Lie and
his force entered IL hot pursuit, to find that
the Grand Duke had eluded their vengeance
this time. On, weren't they bowling mad
when, Just as they thought they had him IN
their grip, he disappeared from their gaze.
The Grand Duke remained II his little
underground castle until the army" fully
recovered the use OF their legs, when he
sailed foEth again You Lie SAYS he will
SUink" him the next time he tries, unless
that Chinese junk arrives sooner and does
the job. Things ale red-hOt dom at Christ
mas Island. FLASEUa.