Morris tribune., 1887-02-09
MatutinaI SoIiIoquies of Young Man.
soLILOQUY THE FIRST


Eeigho! So this is London, and q
. smokey, foggy, dismal metropolis it is,
to say the least of it.
Reminds me of young Simpkins, of
our class, who undertook to write an
apostrophe to the ocean, la Byron
and completed one line: ooh, thou pro-
digious dampness!" Simpkins stuck
there al couldn't get any farther; but
there is no such limit to London damp
ness.
BY the great ponds of Michigan, the
air here seems to mold water in solu-
ton! One runs risk of being drowned
in breathing!
l suppose this is what Mr.. Guppy
called London particular, but with
all due respect, don't think London is
particular, or she wouldn't have such
an atmosphere.
Fine showing, this, for an April
morning! Ho, hum! I really must get
up and comm ence my pilgrimage.
can't understand why l should have
started on this European tour, and con-
demned myself to wandering about
looking at things don't want to see,
climbing mountains don't want to
climb, rummaging around through
nasty streets where l don't want to
rummage, and inhaing oders that L
decidedly object to. What is the use
now of my doing" London, and sub
iecting myself to fatigue, odors, aud
'ackney coaches, when l accomplish it
all so much more pleasantly with one
of Dickens novels at home in a ham
mock, or drifting down the Chesapeake :?
I can't understand why / should want
to see the Tower because the princes
were murdered there, nor the Avon be-
cause Shakespeare was born there, nor
hundred and one other places because
something was done or wasn't done
there! If a man tells me that his ia
Their was hanged, l am quite satisfied to
believe him without rushing off i'm
mediately to see the place and bring
ing away piece of the gallows or a
shred of the rope.
Thank heaven, when I'm through
with London my occupations gone, and
J can go home in peace. Constantine
pie, Venice, Rome, Switzerland, Paris
I've done them all, and pretty thor
oughly, I hope, though my people at
home will be sure to think of some con-
founded place that ought to have seen
but didn't see. Something that I have
omitted which they have been dying to
see for goodness knows how long.
Think Id better coach up on the
guide book, and-that reminds ME l
gave mine to the pretty girl whom l
rescued in Venice from the gondoliers
those fellows are as bad as London
'ackney-coachmen-and who was 50
charmingly grateful. Said she hoped
we might meet again, and she was ever
and ever so much obliged to me, and it
was so nice to meet countryman, for
she was American. l would have
known that if she had stopped alter
"nice"-and great deal more to the
same effect, all in the sweetest voice and
with the cordial, confding way which
DelonSS aloue W ouI girls D4eoH GIN :
Shook hands with me, smiled more in
her soft gray eyes than with her lips,
and left me standing there with my hat
off, spectacle for those rascally boat
men!
Made memorandum on blank leaf
of my guide-boo to this effect
Prettiest picture in Venice. Study
in gray. Gray eyes, grey robe, name
Gray. Worth a fortune, but by the
right person to be had for the asking.
n. B.-WouId that dared to ask.
Then [ gave the nearest gondolier a
twenty franc piece to overtake her and
retrieve to Mademoiselle the book she
did neglect. And that's all.
By Jove, I must get up!