davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
THE GIRL IN FRONT.

She sat before me down the aisle.
She looked SO sweet, 30 free from guile,
1 sat and watched her for awhile,
Thoughtiess of pray'r.
She had fashionable hat
In shape the opposite OF nat.
And all that could see was that
And her back hair.
Unheeded was the organs noise.
The crew OF small, white night-gowned boys,
While I admired her small head poise,
Her shoulders trim;
And meditating on her dress,
while others sang with zealousneSs,
sat alone, and confess
Forgot the hymn.
Such shoulders, such q perfect waist
A Grecian Venus might have graced,
Her toilette was In perfect taste
And fashion new.
st know that she is fair" said,
"As fair as dainty, and we'll bred"
Then, when she turned her pretty head,
She turned mine, too.
Rambler.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
THE RECKLESS REPORTER.
His Tendency to Exaygerate and Magnify
Persons and Thlngs.

His Tendency to Exaygsrate and Nagnify
Persons and Things.
The yearning of Americans after
titles has often been very properly ridi-
cuIed. If man has never been on the
bench since he was school-boy. unless
It was on the mourner's bench in the
police court for being drunk and dis
orderly, he is in more danger than
almost anybody else of being called
Judge If man has been gifted
with sufficient strategetic ability to
keep out of the war, that man is liable
to go through life with Colonel or
major" in front of his name. There
is disposition on the part of local re-
porters to enrank every man General
or Colonel who happens to brighten
the reportorial horizon with cheap
cigar. The readers take their cue from
the newspapers; and the consequence
is that, when men are sentenced to the
penitentiary or arrested for taking
clothes off line, the Judge and the
constable address the convicted parties
as General, ..Jud ge," Colonel or
whatever may be the stigma that at
taches to their names.
Ii little one-horse corner-grocel
finds favor in the eyes of the faber-
pusher, he is denounced through the
press as a prince. 1t is more
than probable that reporters, who are
SO liberal in comforting princely titles.
have very much muddled-up idea as
to what kind of a coffee-mill a Prince
really is. A real Pr nee never slaps a
reporter on the back and calls him Bob
or Dick, or whatever other name his
sponsors in baptism have bestowed
upon him. A bona-fde Prince never
sits in his shirt-sleeves in front of his
store and squirts tobacco-juice through
his front teeth. A real Prince is always
dressed in most gorgeous military
uniform, with big silver star as big as
saucer on his breast. to let people
know that he is the Prince, and no mis-
take. A Prince is always calm, re-
served. dignified and surrounded BY
q glittering staff.
If newspaper man were to run up
20 that kind of prince and ask him for
a pound of cheese and crackers on
ninety days credit. half a dozen Dukes,
Counts, Earls and like small fry would
telephone for policeman to show the
journalist the road to the lunatic asy-
ium. There is no such thing as mer-
chant prince.
The Western journalist persists in
calling every stockman. who brands
all the calves in his neighborhood that
do not belong to him. cattle king.
No real King ever wore an old SLOUGH
hat and lived on bread and coffee. The
real King sits upon glittering throne
such as you see in circus professions
holding golden scepter like po-
liceman's club in his hand, and royal
crown on his head. There is nothing
in the appearance of stock-raiser that
leads one to suppose that he is King.
1t is this tendency on the part OF the
reporters to exaggerate that has created
the wide spread impression that the
average journalist rarely draws sober
breath. Ssceet, In brakes 1raU'
e,ers' Magazine
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
LONDON SHOPS.

Scenes whose Sight Would Seriously In
tsrfsrs with the American Appetite.
One of these was . disgusting hole,
ten by twenty. reeking with horrible
vapors and diabolical smells. A woman
served something in greasy bags over
the humid counter; brawny and un-
clean animal stirred . seething caul-
dron behind her with an iron ladle
huge enough for services of Brobdignag.
Every now and then he ladled some
thing from the bubbling pot and de-
posted it ON q strainer beside him.
Then we saw that there were two
cauldrons superintendent by the bipedal
bulldog, one frying the dingy, un-
washed slices of potatoes we saw heap
ing basket under the counter, the
other the bits of stale, oh, horribly
stale fish. we saw selling so readily
heads one penny, middles one and
half pennies, tails five farthings!''
The outer courts of hell can not be
more offensive than this den whore
human beings crowded, an endless
stream, to eat or to take this garbage
away. The human imagination
shudders before the attempt to solve
the nature Of the mysterious LIQUID in
which the stuff d cooked, and not only
imagination but the very dullest Of
olfactories Discern that the fish are Of
smell most ancient and foul.
The man whisked the potatoes ont
with his ladlc; the movement of the
fish he accelerated with his filthy paws
When these paws became. too slippery
with over-acquaintance with greasy
tails he coolly wiped them of upon his
hair. His head fairly oozed fatness
from every touxled hair; the sodden
and sullen face was lustrous. and the
bare. hairy arms from which loath-
some flannel sleeves were rolled hivh
shone with brilliancy that was not
beautiful.
The horrible creature was snun,ipo
and snarling at his wife as we enter ii
Count the pertayters. you fool. y he
growled, "height slices a farthin' (!
Dye wsnter como ont sixpence beyind
agin, ~ ye did last Saturday nightp I
s'pose ye fancy Ike to stan ere =
slavin' and . sufsrin', : sizslin' the
very heyeballs outen me 'ead. al for
nothin'. just COS ye're such 3 don,
blarsted ejot ~ to give mine slices o.
| pertayters for farthin', institlcr
| height"
There were very few, almost NO.
closed windows. and the edibles Of All
the establishments were reposed upon
| wide exterior shelves upon the side.
walks. AZ the pork and cheese shops.
| the butchar,a fka 0roon erroc.~s. 81 y
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
puNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

What is educatione' asks writer
Well. it is something college graduate
thinks he has until he becomes news
paper man.-Ck Chicago Tribune.
-"Spirit, says Emerson, primarily
means wind" Now we understand
why a windy harangue is referred to as
a spirited address.-M Y. Mail.
Several tribes OF Indians are organ
ling brass bands. Somehow. if an
Indian is not employed in one kind Of
crime he is in another. - Chicago Nail.
-"Shall I capitalize 'Boodle?'
asked the compositor. Certainly"
said the editor; flor where capital is
not, there Doodle can never be. "-St.
Albo IS Messenger.
"A contemporary has long article
entitled aOur Future Fuel" It has al
ways seemed to as that it is far better
not to anticipate the great unpleasant
ness.-N Y. Graphic.
why, yes" said Blobson, speak
ing of q logical conclusion to Mrs.
Popinjay, and rather allowing his earn
estness to got the better of him; tits
perfectly plain to me- as plain as You
are. - Burliagton Free Press.
Friend Ito young artist --s'Isn't
your shirt little ragged, CharleyP"
Young Artist-''I'm afraid it is"
Friend--"Well, why don't you change
it," Young Artist Because the other
one is ragged. too. IN T. Sun.
The Rev. Highflyer-s.I delivered
that sermon off-hand. hadn't given
it a moment thought How did you
like it?'' Frank hearer-'I can't say.
You see, l didn't give it moments
thought either. - Harper's Bazaar.
"A Somerville girl has had her room
papered with old love letters written to
her by rejected suitors. Young men
who propose to pay court to her in
future viii be more likely to win her
favor If they write only on one side Of
the paper. -Somervilie Journal.
-Champoneau is very superstitious.
The other day he suddenly discovered
that there were thirteen at the table.
.sThirteenr' he exclaimed; ''there are
thirteen of u.s." well, what Of itp"
s.What of it? Why, of one thing you
may rest assured-one of us will die
before the othersr' Chicago Tribune
Before introducing gentleman to
lady get her permission. II you can't
get it, make up some plausible lie to
tell the gentleman. It is impertinent
to question . servant about family mat
ters when visiting. Get hold Of ode of
your hosts children and pump him. -
Norristown Herald.
.-Landlord-"Your rent has been
due for six weeks Tenant-'I know
it." Landlord--''Can't you pay it to-
dayp'' Tenant--.sNo." Landlord
why not?'' Tenant-s'See here. /
don't want to be bothered in this way"
Landlord-"But I want my rent y
Tenant Indignantly Sooner than
pay that rent I'll move. - I'd Bits.
Omaha man Cat restaurant)- :
MAY l trouble you for the salt?''
Cowboy from Way You bet yon
kin, stranger. Don't care for salt my
self" II should consider it . very
necessary part of diet A Berlin scion
fist proves conclusively that the gener-
Gus use Of salt Is conducive to longev-
ity." wal, there's no denyin' that
fellers ~ IL too fresh don't live long
out oar way. "-Qpgaka World
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
DUTCH PRISONS.

Description Of One OF the Most Famous
Penal Institutions OF Holland.
A prison in Holland is rather an en-
bellishment than a Disagreement to a
town, at least such il the fine new PEN
itentiary at Leeuwarden, one OF the
most famous prisons in Holland. and .
model of its kind. It is completely
built of stone, bricks and iron. conse-
quently fire. proof; stair-cases. halls and
workshops are built with mathematical
precision and in such manner as to per-
NIT of constant surveillance. The
Yards are large and spacious, all the
rooms whitewashed from top to bottom
and we'll ventilated, the inner and outer
walls even bearing witness to the pro-
verbal Dutch cleanliness. The steps
and passages are equally clean, and
you would look in vain for soiled
spot or grain of dust. Not cracked
or furnished pane of glass can be
found in the whole building. Every
thing is washed, brushed and waxed
with care we might well envy in
many of our American homes. The
dormitories are regularly scrubbed
every day, and well ventilated. Their
aspect is, however, curious. Each
consists of q large whitewashed, as
phalt-noored room, in the center OF
which is an immense iron-trellised
cage, armed on the inside with spikes.
This cage is divided into over one hun
dred cells, each separated by sheet-iron
walls; each has its bed, consisting of a
thin mattress, pillow, pair OF sheets
of coarse texture. and two coverlets.
Each night the prisoners are locked in
these narrow cells, and thus repose
perfectly isolated from each other.
All around the dormitory run iron
water-pipes, with taps fixed at inter-
walls. at which the convicts are sup
posed to perform their additions.
Water is general throughout the
whole prison, and is to be met
with on each story. Baths. which
the prisoners are compelled to
make use of at STATED times. are on
the ground floor. The prisoners have
three meals per day. In the morning,
lukewarm milk and water and piece
of dry bread; at midday, soup COM
posed of vegetables; in the evening.
coffee and brown bread. Sometimes
they are allowed small quantity Of
fresh meat, butmore often bacon. The
prisoners, however, can improve upon
this food by the money they earn. They
have, in fact, small interest in their
work, four-sixths of which is at their
disposal, the remainder being very. prop.
erly capitalized and handed to them
on their dismissal. Every thing is con-
Quoted with military discipline in .
Dutch prison, which allows neither ol
ill-will nor question. The dungeons
a kind of subterranean cells, are for the
unruly. and irons for the mutinous
No conversation Is allowed between the
prisoners during hours Of work. Per
feet order prevails, as rule. and at
tempts at escape are events unknown
brooklyn Magazine.
An Auburn, IN. Y !, father tied hil
daughter to bed-post to prevent hel
leaving the house to marry the mar
she loved Then he paraded the from
ward with revolver to make it certain
that the young man should not carr,
her of without his knowledge. = Baf
fnio 1f,urSer
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12
RosBlNo OUR SONS.
How We Are Stripping Bare the Continent
with More Greed Than Sense.

How We Are Stripping Bare the Continent
with More Greed Than Sense.
The country has everything to gain
and nothing to lose by the ceasing to
depend on foreign markets for its
bread stuffs. The fret effect of that
dependence has been a method of
farming which is utterly wasteful-
mere nd-butchery in fact The wheat
producing lands of the West have been
to great extent impoverished and in
some cases exhausted by raising the
same crop year after year, and sending
away the produce over land and sea.
As the Scotch say, constant taking
out of the meal-tub and never putting
in, comes to the bottom at last" The
rich prairies of the upper Mississippi
valley are very deep and very well
filed meal tub; but we are beginning
to get near the bottom, in more places
than one Hence the pressure west
ward into Dakota and Montana to find
fresh and new lands for bonanza wheat
farming-a tillage as ruinous as was
the tillage of the cotton and tobacco
lands of the South by slave labor.
In Eastern Pennsylvania the product
i've power of the land has increased
with every generation since the Penn
sylvania Germans came over in the
opening years of the eighteenth GEN.
fury. The same is true of the lands
under Dutch tillage in Northern New
Jersey. But it is not true of the coun
try at large. Our energy and ingenu-
ity seem to have been directed to the
problem of running the country with
as much haste as possible, and in many
places we have reaped the result in i'm
poverishment not unlike that of the
abandoned ''old fields" of Virginia and
the colonies. One cause of this has
been the absence of other industries
from the farmers neighborhood. the
consequent absence OF demand for
thorough tiIlage and variety in the
crops, and the want of material. for
making proper return to the SOIL
The american.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12

An employe of w. H. Smith &
Son. the great London news firm. is
authority for the statement that there
are seven thousand hawkers of news
papers in London big men, little
boys, old women and little girls. He
says the majority are in the prelimi-
nary or normal condition of paper, j.
O.. rags. and live from hand to mouth.
-Pfinters' Circular.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12

"A pumpkin grew to weigh 25c
pounds at Newburg, N. T.. by being
fed on milk. One of the roots was
allowed to rest in basin of milk and
it consumed pint Of the liquid each
day. - Troy Times.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12

An Auburn, IN. W father tied his
daughter to bed-post to prevent her
leaving the house to marry the man
she loved. Then he paraded the front
yard with revolver to make it certain
that the young man should not carry
her off without his knowledge. = B.E
fni0 Courier,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-02-12

q man who, when asked by Colonel
Ellsworth if he was the proprietor, said
he was not. He also denied putting
up the flag. We all passed up the
stairs into the attic and Colonel Els
worth cut the rope and we started
back, the Colonel having the flag in
his arms. The stairway was narrow.
winding affair. and between the balus-
tiers and the partition of the rooms on
the opposite side there was scarcely q
width of four feet for walking room.
On our way down took the lead. As
/ turned the corner of the stairs that
would have landed rs on the third
floor saw man step out of q room
with double-barreled shotgun in his
hand. As he saw me he raised it to
his shoulder, but gave q spring and
landed on the floor beside him with one
bound. had my musket in my hands
and / threw 1t across the barrel of his
gun before he could fire and forced the
muzzle of his weapon toward the floor.
The barrel of my gun was longer than
his, and when the weapons reached a
sharp angle my musket slipped of.
Just at that moment Colonel Ellsworth
appeared at the bend of the stairs, and
the man raised his gun and fired With
the remaining barrel he turned towards
me. but before he could fire l had dis
charged my musket. At the same in
slant thrust my bayonet through his
body and he fell in the direction from
which he must have come. None oil
~ other members of the guard we're
u lIght osthe time: Iquicely reloaded
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-07-22
Mexican War Veteran.

The wonderful efficacy Of swift's Specific as a
diseases, has never had a more conspicuous illus.
traton than this case affords. Tho candid, un.
solicited and emphatic testimony given by the
venerable gentleman must he accepted as con
vncing and conclusive The writer Is n promi.
nent citizen Of Mississippi The gentleman to
whom Mr.. Martin refers, and to whom he is in.
dcbted for the advice to which he owes his final
RELIEF from years of suffering, Is Dir. King, for
many years the popular night clerk Of the Law.
renee House, at Jackson.
JACKSON, Mss April 20, 1857.
THE SWIFT Specific COMPANY, Atlanta. Ga:
Gcntiemcn-I have been an invalid pensioner for
forty years, having contracted pulmonary and
other diseases in the Mexican War, but not till
the list Of March, 1915, did feel any symptoms of
rheumatism. on that day was suddenly stricken
with that disease in both hips and ankles. For
twenty days walked on crutchcs. Then the pain
was lees violent, but 1t shifted from joint to Joint
For weeks would be totally disabled, either on
left me u moment for eleven years and seven
months-that Is from March /, lsi5, when was
first attacked, TO October /, 1856, when | was
cured. During these eleven years OF intense sur
fering tried innumerabc prescriptions from
various physicians, and tried everything suR.
gested by friends but II ever received the least
benefit from any medicine taken internally or
the FIRST of September, made arrangements to 90
TO the Hot Springs Of Arkansas, having despaired
OF every other remedy, when | accident al1y met
an old acquaintance, Mr.. King, now Of the Law.
renee House on this city. He had once been a
great sufferer from rheumatism, and, as / sup.
posed, had been cured by visit to Hot Springs
But when met him he told me that his visit to
the Hot Springs was In yain-he found no relief.
on his return from Hot Springs he heard. for the
first time, Of the S. S; S. as remedy for rheuma
tsm. Ho tried 1t and six bottles made a complete
cure. Several years have passed since but he has
mad no return of the disease.
Immediately returned to try II. In September
took four bottles and by the first Of October
was well-as far as the rheumatism was con.
Cerned. All pain had disappeared, and | HAVE
NOT FELT A TwiSGE OF 1T SINCE.
| have no interest in making this statement
other Than the hope that 1t may direct some other
sufferer to sure source of relief and II it has this
result am well rewarded for my trouble. am
very respectfully and truly your friend.
]. NJ. II. MARTIN
For sale by all druggists. Treatise on Blood
and Skin Diseases mailed free.
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co.,
Drawer 3, Atlanta Ga
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-07-22
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.

Mrs. MISSIONS SOOTHING SYRUP should
lways he USED Tor children tcething. 1t
oothes the child, softens the gums. allays all
1ain cures wind collie, and is the best remedy
or darrhpa. Twenty. five cents II bottle.
l4i,m,w, f&wly
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-07-22

but as we are disposed to overlook your
conduct on this occasion YOU can get it
back 10y applying at the office
But the secretary's salary remains un-
claimed to this day.
Gro be Continucd)
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-08-11
ADMIRAL LUCE REBUKED.
Ordered to Withdraw All His Fishery
Circulars.

Ordered to Withdraw All His Fishery
Circulars.
Admiral Luce submitted to the navy de
partment the circular recently printed by
him for the information of fishermen in Ca
madam waters, giving the queries presented
by him to Capt. Scott of the Canadian navy,
and Capt SCOTS replies defining the rights
Of United States vessels in Canadian ports.
Admiral Luce said that these circulars have
been distributed among the fishing fleet.
Upon the receipt of this information Secre-
tary Whitney cabled to Admiral Luce as fol
lows:
admiral Luce, Halifax: I assume that
YOUR application to Capt. Scott was not for
the purpose of obtaining from him an expo
sition Of the law, but to enable our fisher
men to know the extent of the Canadian
claim, and thus avoid difficulties if they
should SO choose. This is not quite clear from
your report, and it would be better to issue
no more circulars and withdraw such as are
within your reach. Capt. Scott is not under
stood to be the agent of his government fol-
any such purpose as that for which you have
employed him, and if he were, the applica
ton might more properly be made to our owr
government, in case a correct statement Of
the Canadian claim is desired,
w. c. WHITNEY,
Secretary of the Navy
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-08-11
ALL IN Pl.
Vandals Make Raid ON the Indian
apOlis Sentinel ONCE.

Vandals Make Raid on the indiana
apoiis Sentinel ONCE.
An exasperating piece of vandalism was
perpetrated in the composing room of the
Indianapolis Sentinel after Fridays paper
had gone to press. The miscreants pied 46
cases of minion and nonpareil, mixed all the
display type, and pied all the live matter
standing for Saturday and Sundays issues
A new dress was ordered The vandals evil
IDENTIFY hoped to prevent the management
from issuing paper on Saturday morning,
but did not succeed, although the paper will
look queer. A force of 30 men worked hard
endeavoring to straighten out things A
volley of seven stones was fired at them
through the windows from the ambush of a
shed on the adjoining premises The office
three weeks ago took on force of non-union
men. and the locked out organization is held
responsible for the deed,
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-08-11
ROMAN TIC.
Separated Sveethearts OF Long Ago
Meet and Marry.

Separated sweethearts OF Long Ago
Meet and Marry.
Several years ago, a young couple living
at Portland, Me-, became acquainted and
finally engaged. Inan evil hour the friends
of the young lady listened to the idle gossip
of the day, and the young man was accused
of being dissipated. The result was they sep
arated, not to meet for years. Soon after
this the young man went to Montana and
took charge of ranch. He proved compe-
tent and faithful, and in time developed into
one of the best business men in the territory
and was rapidly advanced. During all the
years of his absence he exchanged no COM
munications with people in Portland. Re
Gently some Portland people became inter
ested in Montana land and Montana
cattle, and the young ranchman came East
to give desired information at first hand
One day he was asked to go down the bay on
a church picnic. He met many old acquaint-
ances Among Others his former sweetheart
was introduced to him by mutual friend as
toa stranger. He sought private interview
with the lady They were married the other
day and start for Montana soon.