The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-26
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is refreshing to think that just about now
the magazine poet is grinding out a seasonable
ode TO January Burlington Free Press.
FLIP-There goes ton(e)y girl.
Flap-Who is she?
Flip-The soprano of our choir.-ChdrIesto,cn
Enterprise.
A RELIGIOUS WEEKLY recently spent much
time in discussing ''hOw to bring young men into
the church The girls know how to do that
much better than the editor
so much
''Why, the chimney smokes, my dear
''Wefl, if it does it doesn't spit over every
thing. "-PhiIadelphta CAL.
In the palmy days of Greece, girl babies,
when they became too numerous, were fed TO
the vultures. They don't waste them in that
way nowadays; there are too many men to be
supported through e.-ChdrieStOCn Enter
prise.
WE are filed with establishment at the report
that Boston lady recently spelled hazardous
'hazardess, 'and defined it as "a female haz-
ard" But the Bostonians are weak if you take
them away from their native Greek.-Pitts6trg
Chronicle
WERE you intendon to carve the fowl, Mr.
Samson?' asked the landlady insnuatingly.
''Sinew insist upon t. win, - replied Mr.. Sam
son, and all the spectators yelled their faces as
the strong man bowed himself for the struggle.
-B,udctte
MABEL (lnnOcentlN)-Ilara JDaJ mr. 1WlQ-
dlestone an Engshman?
Clara-No, dear; he was born in Boston.
Mabel-Then where did he get that strong
English accent?
Clara-He lived six months in New York.
darling.-Hdrper's Bazaar.
mo MARIA" said a Jersey granger to his
wife as they were about retiring at a summer
resort hotel; Il think know too much TO blow
out the gas. | brought something along that
will fix it. So he drew out monkey wrench
a1d fIuiSf tod fhkah burn
But the next morning the Coroner's jury
rendered the usual verdict.-Hotel Mad.
A MAGAZINE, devoted to spelling reform, says:
when peopl BEGUN accustomed to the new at
tire of sum familiar words they vii more redily
assent to more and more changes" Don't be-
LEV we'd ever lern to spell in such ridiculous
maur. The old Stile Spein Is gud enuf fur us,
and biologists had betr let our orthografy alone.
1t is tn late tn max nu Departure of this caractr
NorriStot0n Herald
MISS GoLDIcHEAQ-I am having such lovely
dress made for Mrs. Midas lawn party
Miss Wishiwas, of BroOklyn-Oh, you are
going? do wish was, but am not invited.
Miss Goldicheaq-Oh, neither am I; but we
got rid of all that cold, formal eonventionality
that is such painful feature of American So
ciety, outside the capital.
HER DUTIES were circumscribed: Applicant
/ have had considerable experience with
children, ma'am, and never had any trouble in
making them like me.
Mistress-That is very important.
Applicant-And am sure would get on with
your little dog
Mistress (stroking the animal)-You would
have nothing to do with Fido dear little fell
low He is my special charge .-ErchGnge.
GuIBo1ARD and bis two friends, Cabassol and
Mitouf1et, agreed to dine together at st. Ger
main, outside of Paris.
Gubollard and Cabassol kept the appoint
ment, but Mitoufiet turned up missing. The two
friends, in consequence, dned alone.
After dinner they were enjoying their cigars
and feasting their eyes on the delicious view on
the, terrace.
''Ah!" exclaimed Guibollard, in burst of en-
thusiasm, 'if MitouAet we're only here how he
would regret that he hadn't come Exchange.