Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-08-20
AN OBNOXIOUS BEAU.
BILL NYE ADVISES A YOUNG LADY
WHAT TO DO.
He Suggests q Judicious Use Of .
Younger Brother-Sad Music Recon-
m.ndetl-Avoid Laughing 1t His Funny
Stories-.Other Plans,


BosTos. Feb q. 1887.
Mr.. NyE-l have enjoyed all your writings in
The "ioo- ever 50 n'GSh, anu noticing that you
na'e sNe =, 'lee' 'housn.
,A' "a -, an ,,,,,r,i',, iu ''
ehose room is much preferable 10 his co,nnany
Hoping that do not intrude ON your valuable
time Yours truly,
You do not say why you wish TO get rid
If the Young man, nor do you state what
Is the matter with him: whether he IS a
poor conversatioualist OF too fluent in that
line; whether the first two joints of his
finger and thumb are yellow with cigar
ette stains, or what MS leadlnS character
lstics are. Possibly he has fatty degener-
alton Of the thinker.
However, you say he Is an impudent
young man, and l infer that you nave
gone through the prellminaries OF gentle
scorn and such things as that. Now,
what shall We do to make him fully I'M
derstand that you do not want him TO re-
MAIN
Perhaps you have such thing as a
younger brother about the house. II so,
bring him in and let him toy with the
young man few hours ou can excuse
yourself while you ostensibiy put on your
other dress, and if You delay long enough
you can cause the young man great deal
of intense suffering. You can take the
right kind OF younger brother, with IN
tiammatory hair and white eyes and warts
on his thumbs and season cracks in the
| backs Of his hands and If you properly
sick" the boy on his prey and fasten the
door securely you can come back In an
hour and do anything you want 10 with
that young man. ! know this to he true,
for ! have been the young man myself.
have also been the boy.
OTHER INDIGNITJEs.
/ have known a Young man who in
tested house that way to be eradicated
by means of yery sad music. They do not
die in the house.
Another plan would be to avoid laugh
ing at his funny anecdotes. Wait till he
gets through with his anecdote and looks
up in your ewes for a twinkle of merri-
ment. That is the time to refrain from
twinkling. Wait till he gets to the nub
OF ,he Joke, Us IL were. ana prieks up hls
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''- '''> '-' ''' ''
BARE POSSIBILITY.
But there is a bare possibility that this
Young man is in love with YOU and would