The St. Johns herald., 1887-01-06
ABOUT BABIES.
BsnA Ob.eryatIon. by an Unmarried x.p.

 [ The baby. according to my observation IS in almost all climates. and at all sea- sons or the year. nocturnal in it's habits. IL IS also dlurnal good share of the tune; but this, of course, is 6 fact not worth mentioning.
 Unlike the young Of most other species. the baby does not recognize any parental , distinctions. but will lament as bitterly while riding on tho paternal arm at tue witching hour of midnight as when clasped tenderly to the mothers bosom at sunny midday. Its sole creed and language Is cry; and no Christian or heather ever livei up to 0 creed with more conscientious fidelity than does the baby.
 The baby Is not partial to paregoric {: that Is failing of it's parents. For itself, tho infant would much prefer la- mentation between meals to sleep. But there is limit to all things, and, thank heaven! paregoric Is cheaper than en- durance.
 Judging from my personal experience, la-se share of the baby'5 early life is passed on the cars. do not know that I ever entered car without finding a baby ahead of me. l always braco my self for the vail the minute I open the door, and nine times out of ten it Is here. The car may be full of pas sengers, but for all practical purposes 1t iS occupied entirely by the infant
 1t Is my firm conviction. that babies do not like to travel. may te mistaken, for base my judgment entirely upon ap- pearances, but l have never yet seen 8 baby who seemed to be perfectly sa- tIsiied with the arrangements provided for the comfort Of the travelling public by railroad corporations.
 Why under these circumstances, babies should be compelled to travel I cannot comprehend. Perhaps it is because their fond but unseliish parents wish the world to share with them the winsome- ness and loveliness of infancy. be- licTe this Is the explanation usually given by conductors.
 But thero is one disaSreeabla feature about babie5-I will not say which ono some people think 1t Is the nose, others the hair. However that may be, you are expected to admire the little brutes just as much as if they were really beauti- full
 The fond mother will never forgive you If you don't say something real sweet about her cherub. You must disguise your real sentiments, and deal in Vcneered pIatltude3 or the toO-Sweot- for-anything and perfectly-angelic stamp.
 Don't liken the infant to it's father. especially if that gentleman is slightly bald and Is just beginning to cultivate a sunset tingo at the tip of his nose. Say that the babe resembles its mother, and you are safe. If you add that it is & remarkably charming and beautiful child, you are in 8 fair way to reduce your board-bill by becoming frequent guest at the house of the little stranger.
 The best way to get along with babies t5 to remember that you were onco ono yourself
 Your nose was just as red and indeter- minate as that; your hair was just as scantY end colorless.
 You also baWled from morning till night and from night till morning, and visited the lotosland of slumber only by the peIfunctory path of paregoric.
 Ton pulled the paternal hair and pounded tho paternal eyes with your little fists.
 You kept tho whole house awake with the ebullitlons of your empty woe; you sucked your thumbs and your toes and
 bottle like all the rest of them.
 But you are grown up, and the present baby Is not.
 That is the difference.-[Puck.