Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-23

Ak42
If masculine badness is to ho..
universal, the comb)ing man W.,
have anything to eomb.-Te,os w "
ings. ~
We have received some verso, =.
tied, II Am Waiting" Thu ~
isn't; we have sent it back NV nv
SUtings. Leo
A CHICAGO minister preached !,
Sunday on "What can I do -
saved.' 1t would seem that ab.rt >,
first move would be to get out NJ ~
cag'.-S,tnday National.
DRAvISe-EooM CAR. First no,..
m o hurry-Another washout! So
ond porter, escited-W Where, vber1
First porter, as he disappears tbrona
the next car-On the clothes limo,
"WH1cH of all the girls that you k,ol
40 you IKE the oest?' she whispere,
sweetly. 1.-THE one I'm usually With
was his heartless reply, and now 4
wonders what made her mad.-,JudoI
THE whalebone eontrivance the firs. LA,
When sho carried the psrquet by storm,
As tho printer remarked when he lockad ~
Ia m aro1v a mi tfor of fnrr,
Puck
AvERsE TO THE DAIRY MApH
Oilymargnrne butter
May b-utts:ly utter.
Mado from soap fat and leaf lard srav.
Blu. you can't make cheese
Out OF axle-.rsase,
Because it amt built that way
Puck.
"OH, mother, what do you think
remarked the high-school girl; 20
minister has an amanuensis. Y
don't say!" replied the old lady, vii
much concern. "Is he doctorin' 4
it,"
PAsToE-Thomas, don't you thi.
your parents would feel very sore
they knew you were fishing on d
Sabbath? Thomas-Yes, sir; b
not half as sore as I'd feel if they foul
it out.
"Do YOU think that we literary mi
are overworked 2" asked writer durr
conversation at a dinner table.
don't think so, some one replied. I'll
the public that is overworked. II
readers are the ones that need rest. +"
-Arkaasaer Traue'er.
"BEe pahdon," said a Pittsbure
barber, as Kentucky Colonel took b
seat in the chair, "but do you bite you
mustache?" "No." Glow do you q
it SO short and ragged" "Cut it
course. How do you suppose
"S'posed maybe yer breath burnt
of. "-Pittsbat1yA Chronicle.
DUNpsY-Bigsby, who is the brigh
est young man of your acquaintance
Bigsby-De Smith, by all odd
Dumpsy-pe Smith I think he is
perfect dough-head. Bigsby-Yo|
never happened to meet him under
electric light lamp with that Alask
diamond of his on.-B,wlington Fri
Press.
"You see," explained the teache
"this little chicken is covered with
soft covering, something like aos1
Who can tell me what it is called?
"It's called down." said little CIR
Correct" replied the teacher. "No1
what comes next after down?
"Jimmy's mustache," sang out the boz
at the head of the class. -Norman IN
DEPENDENT
WIFE-Why did you send home tol
of coal to-day? We have coal enouga
to last until July. Husband didn
order any coal, and wish you wouldn
pay gas bills. l went to the office TO
day to make kick, and was told tia
tine bill was paid. Wife-Why, l haven
paid any gas bill Daughter (blush
ing)-George is the responsible one
papa, and think it was very delicate
thing for him to do. --Ne,o York sam
The Boston Budget tells this story ,
q Boston school on Exhibition day
The teacher gave out the word "hazard|
Gus" for boy to spell; and, to ne1
great surprise, he promptly spelled 4
"hazardess. Thinking that defnllo1
might Jog his memory in regard to tn
photographed blunder of which ~
was guilty, she asked him to give ~
meaning, whereupon her astonlshmen
was intensified with the reply
female hazard"
PECULL.dRITIES OF R.4Z0Rs'
BARRIERS declare that razors are eSel|
more capricious than tickle woman al
gentlemen who shave themselves fe'
ognize the individuality or idlos!'I
Grassy of razors. Some razors neeu
rest after using, and no amount OF ss,0p
ping will make them efficient uuls'
they are humorcd, while Others VIII y
the better if stropped immedlatel]