Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-04-20

ache, and how he went to pieces him.
self the moment anything allied him.
About month ago l woke up one
morning with the toothache. 1t had
been annoying me for an hour before
Mr.. Bowser caught on. Then he said
"Toothache, ehl Well, I don't
pity you a bit. This comes of crack.
ing walnuts in your teeth and chew
ing so much of that everlasting gum" !"
~ never cracked walnut, and l
don't chew gum once year."
well, it's some carelessness of
yours, rest assured Of that, and you
must suffer for it,"
He went off whistling and singing
and / went to bed to suffer.
That tooth ached for three days
and three nights in spite of all reme-
dies. During the day Mr.. Bowser
would remark:
"Aches vet, does its l believe you
are pretending a great deal, so as to
get my sympathy. 1t you'd get up
and 60 around and throw off the idea
that your tooth ached the pain xould
all 60 away. Four-fftbs of human
aches comes from imagination"
But it does ache SO bad p
"That is, you imagine it does. l
could 60 to bed and imagine my leg
was of, and / have no doubt that /
should suffer awful pains. Well, I
can do nothing for you. If you will
let your imagination run away with
your sense l can't help it"
The ache hung on SO long that l
finally went to the dentist and had the
tooth pulled. This was unbeknown
to Mr.. Bowser, and when he came
home that evening and found me sing
ing to the baby he laughed long and
loud and added:
Didn't / tell you so! No doubt
you had little bit of toothache to
start with-just little bit-and i'm
agination did the rest. If had gone
to work and called you my poor, dear,
stricken, suffering darling you'd have
had every tooth jumping out of your
head. It's mighty lucky for you that
you married a man with something
besides sawdust under his scalp"
My revenge came sooner than could
have been anticipated. 1t wasn't two
weeks before Mr.. Bowser awoke me
one night at midnight by exclaiming
MRS. Bowser, are you dead, or
have you become stone deaf ?"
What is it dear. burglars or fire p
Burglars or fire be hanged I've
been suffering with the toothache for
the last three hours, and you've laid
there and snored away as if you didn't
care cent whether-I lived or died y
But what can / do' This is the
result of some carelessness of yours.
Have you cracked any walnuts in
your teeth lately?"
He sat up in bed and held his jaw
and glared at me SO fiercely that
was alarmed and went for the medi-
cine case. l gave him some pepper
mint essence on cotton; then some
oil of cloves ON rag; then some
camphor on the end of tooth-pick
1t was no use.
81 don't believe | shall live to see
daylight he moaned as he fell out
of bed and began to dress.
"Oh, yes, you will. Are you sure
your tooth aches?"
He looked around after his revolv-
er, but had slipped it under the bu-
reau.
81 had it, you know, or thought l
had, but l guess it was all imagina-
ton. Mr.. Bowser, just imagine you
haven't tooth in your head"
"And you just imagine that you are
an old buzzard waiting to pick my
bones !" he roared as he danced
around.
We tied bag of hot ashes on his
face, and we put OIL mustard, pain
killer and almost everything else IN
the house, and none of us slept anoth-
er wink. When morning came it
was no better, and ! coldly observed: /:
"Well, of course you don't want to
keep the house upset any longer.
You'd better 60 down and have it
pulled"
"W-what!"
"Just run down and have the dent
ist draw it out. 1t will hurt awfully,
of course, but you are man and can
stand it!'
"I'll die first !"
"Oh, well, if you will let your i'm
agination make you believe that you
have toothache don't blame me-"
felt awfully sorry for him, for he
suffered dreadfully the next two days.
Then he suddenly decided to have the
tooth pulled, and asked me in tone
he tried to make careless:
MRS. Bowser, don't you want to 60
down to the dentists with me?".
as