The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-04-14
Var. nmtl Mrs. EsONvseE.
BY MRS. BowsER,

ed beef you ordered as you went down
this morning"
"Oh, it isl l didn't know but it was
some l ordered a year agol What do
you call these things?"
potatoes, OF course
Potatoes, eh? I'll try and remem-
Der that name. And what's this"
cabbage, my love"
"Ohl ] didn't know but it was wood
pulp, my love- Was this bread made
since the war"
"Certanly. 1t is only two days
old"
"EIumph! Buying some poor coffee
again, / seel Look at that That stuff
looks as if it was dipped out of a mud
holew
But you ordered this very coffee
yourself only night before last.
He growls and eats, and eats and
growls, and I've got used to it. 1t is
only now and tlen that he proceeds
to violence. The other day he ex-
pressed his fondness for pumpkin pie,
and ordered the cook to make two
or three. We had one brought on at
supper, and as soon as Mr.. Bowser
saw he sternly inquired
"What do you call that performance
there? When was it born, and where
is it going to-"
"Mr, Bowser, you said you wanted
some pumpkin pie"
yes"
well, here it is, and as good one
as you ever ate | made it myself, af
ter mothers favorite recipe"
Mrs, Bowser, do you call that &
pumpkin pie?"
II DO sir"
"Then l want to be branded fool
What do you take me for, any way
Don't you suppose was eating
pumpkin pies before you were born?'
"Why isn't it pumpkin pie?"
"Why isn't bootleg boot
= Where is your other orust?"
But pumpkin pies never have al
: uppercrust."
: Don't they? Mrs, Bowser, can de
} ceive the cook, for she is a confdin.
foreigner, and you can stuff most an
3 yarn down our poor little baby bu
. don't try to bamboozle me- 1t won
work, Pm glad for your sake that m
, mother isn't here to laugh at YOU"
. In two days had letter from hi
= mother, affirming that there was n
n upper-crust to a pumpkin pie, and
= brought my own mother over in til
flesh as a further witness, hut what di
Mr.. Bowser do but loudly exclaim
4 "Bosh? You old women have forgo
ten half you knew You are thinkin
about pudding and milk, you are. {
V course there is no upper-crust to pu,
= ding and milk, and never said the,
: was.
He cost me n good girl last week /
: one Of his Whims. l happened
- wonder aloud during the evening
= she had put her bread to raise, wht
y he promptly inquired
, Mrs, Bowser, do you know wi
= : bread raises?"
Because OF The yeast"
= But why does the yeast expand Il
Z" dough?'
y because it does"
Exactly. You also live becau
IS you do, and that's all you know abo
~ it! You ought to be ashamed Of 70
CT ignorance ef natural philosophy ]
Sc see If the girl knows any better"
TO He went ont and inquired
a. Jane, have you put the bread
Nv rmse?"
NJ ayes, sir"
n "Do you expect it to raise?"
re- "Of course"
tt' "Why don't You expect it to fall?
'h- care you running this kitchen
10 she sharply demanded.
nt- VIRTUALLY, yes, My object is to
ad how well YOU are posted on natu
DR.. philosophy. Why does the br,
an raise instead of fall?"
because it's a fool and I'm anot
3ed for staying in place where man
,ad allowed to hen-huzzy about the kit
ate EN- III leave in the morning.
the And leave she did, and all the C
soation | got from Mr.. Bower as
'or- came upto dinner was
lad Its good thing she lett
the might have mixed something tog
er which would have caused our dea
ned Come, now, hurry up the dinner"
ong Mr.. Bowser has improved some
fer the direction of taking care of
the baby. | can now leave them toget
1t as long as fifteen minutes without
lout that one will kill the other by tr.
some experiment. They had |
ord alone about seven minutes the 0
ting day while l was upstairs, and wh