New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-12-14
TIE TIIK or THE U1I.

Western backwOois paper got 1t Clevclaud'i
Massage" The President was not success
massageur lie rubbed tho ProtcciloniSt Democrat.
the wrong way.
"Good morning. Mrs. Black Are you going &c
vote for school Committee to-dayl'
" Yes and I'm awfully glad met you. Tell ms
what kind Of a person this Mrs White IS. | DONE
know whether to vote for her or not"
ooh. She, splendid woman; so devoted you
know and they say She knows moro about educational
matters than all the men the Board put together.
There She Il now -
What! thai woman over thcrc I'm a blue bonnet
trimmed with green Why Mrs Gray I'm as3nish ,,
that You could think OF voting for person who hA'
50 little taste. Boston Transcript
The Boston Transcript ntmatcs that there IS yer,
little blue blood in New England I'm the English scn's
Of the word. "Thc Pilgrim Fathers" it says. "wcrs
good. plain. Intelligent people. above tho yeoman
class Of their day YET nctler Of mo- on level With
n, gentry of their English home. From Just such
stock came the Americans OF to-day. 1t is an an
ccsiry to De proud Of But alas for the sen'biliiy
Of our rlurocsacy, It IS not noble
Now Is the season Of the year when the young
order that she take measurcments Of tho sole ~
the young who calls upon her WIN precision anu
regularity. This signifies pair OF slippers th3t no
can't wear. for Christmas presen-lliAftiOrd lo'''
Tho Springfield Republican tells Henry George
and Dr. McGIynn that they will make no converts Ia
their New England tour. Instead of clamoring foe
land the peonlc of New England want to get nd of
what they already have.
During the last gear the Methodist Episcopal Church
ha. raised 044 735 81 for missions In addition to
thi, the church raised $4,000 for Bishop Iaylors
work in Africa But even this immense sum doe, not
represent tie religious contributions of this great
Church. which generously supports largo number ct
colleges, seminarles and charitable institutions
The Misery Of Being Poor" Why Is this yon.
Mauiel | haven't seen You for an age How 10
you dol"
Not 80 well a. ! would wish to DO. I'm just co.
ting over hay fever Have you had It this seasons
No. Father failed about a month ago you know,
and were not In society this fall Boston Courier
4 new feature In theatrical drop curtains IS dis.
played at one OF the leading Bowery theatres. la-
sides the usual attractive picture this curtain
adorned with the advertisements of the butcher tie
baker and candc,tck maker Of that ncighborhood
Tho card Of the saloon kceIer printed on THIS
curtain in largo git letters. such card Is sufficient
TO mahs tho average mans appetite fairly cry aloud
for drink
Gentleman Ito hariruden-ThS cocktail isn't quits
up to tho mark o.d but wa can't have every thn3
to please In this world, 50 here's iVoAihs a. YOU
sam, Gentleman cat brcakfast-Poor coffee again.
my dear. Take It away. ii l can't have good ooaoop
| don't want any-lblOch'
There is a variety OF posts and poles IN New fork
streets There lamPposts, jewellers posts sur
mounted by clocks Fire department poles Western
Union Telegraph poles. electric light poles and roles
for the electric light wires, BARRIERS poles and poco
signal box poles. All that IS wanting now Ia com
pete the equipment Of streets is the North Pole,
and then tho average NcwYcrher ought to bo sa'ishod
4 Work Of Char.ty-Fond Mothcr-Emly, what
have YOU IN that basket
things ,,,
Christian grlf II You might cali at Miiiiatsons
house, where all the members Of the family are sick
ard destitute, and they are very worthy people
Oh. no, Pm not going thero. want To take a
few little presents to the murderer up at the jail s
i, such an oxqustoly interesting young man "-tIAh-
coin Journal
The great bulk Of tho worlds supply OF pcncilwood
comes from tho swamp lands of Levy Comfy, Fla
\ Guests Blun,cr Eastern Hotel Clork-what did
Hall 10y Nothin'. lie didn't ring Must been
some other number, sir. lie said hc didn't ring an
didn't want anything, an he says hos very comfort
VERY comfortable. He's got ono of the cheapest
rooms in tho house. Go turn tho heat on-tOmaha
World.
We'll, We arc surprised. Max o'Rcll had to cancel
his engagement to lecture In Boston the other night.
because only thirty tickets had been sold. Not long
ago tho Mayor and large number OF prominent eli.
Gems Of Boston nocksd to reception which was given
TO the bruiser sullivan
Ono OF those interrogation point small boys
panied his mother calling tho other day. and asked
question, enough to iii catechsm. There wero sax
or eight persons I'm tho parlor and Tommy got ia his
work during the apscs I'm the conversation
Mamma" no sald is this u velvet chair "
Sh-Tommy yes"
"Arc they all velvet. mammal
eyes Keep STILL
"Thats funny ono thcrc, an't 1t, mamma, with
a gilt edg, q back ard q red scat u
Don't talk 30 much, will youi'
"What made tho seat red, mamma1'
81 don't know Keep still tell you.n
Tommy kept stIll for a minute or two, and then,
whom thrro was a lull no resumed:
Il know, mamma guess 1t must have boon
spanked
Tommy went homo in very few minues.-(wsshs
ingtOn Critic.