Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-05-06


HIS PENMANSHIP-A FANCIFUL
BUT NOT FLIPPANT REPLY, FULL
OF INTENSE AND FREE GRATIS
ADVICE.
The following answers to cores
pondents are submitted this week,
in order that the winter committee
on correspondence may be dis
charged.
Rodney i. Pangborn, Of Tuscon,
A. IT,, writes as follows:
81 dearly love a Young lady here
who a year ago led me to believe
that she was not displeased with
me.
81 know that she Is my superior
in many ways as her folks keep a
girl, whereas my mother does her
own work; but need that cause us
to drift apart?
81 think that where two fond
hearts throb in yOunison, and
where a Young person Of my sex
earnestly and devotedly loves a
young person of dianetrlcally
different sex, and he desires her TO
be hisn and would not mind being
her'n, ought our difference in sta
tion to make any difference in our
destiny?
"What do you think of my
penmanship p
It Is difficult to answer you,
Rodney, without being ilippant,
but / know by the tone OF your
letter that you do not feel flippant
and you wonld resent it if / were
to treat your query in that way, so
| will try to talk to you the same
as | wonld discuss the matter If it
were my own.
Socially we are always at war,
Rodney. If your mother had had
kept a girl your own father might
have kicked you INTO a shapeless
mass, cursed you and disinherited
YOU for loving a young thing whose
mother did not keep girl. or you
might have fallen in love with one
whose parents kept two girls.
ONCE THERE WAS A MAN.
once knew young man VINO
was socially blest in every way,
bnt he loved above his station just
as YOU have done and his whole
life was embittered. In an evil
hour be fell madly, passionately I'D
love with girl whose parents were
naughty and not only kept an all
around glrl to do work in the house,
but hired man TO come and toy
with the wood pile and grease the
blackboard and squirt water on the
lawn.
He saw that he must in some
way bridge this social chasm or
lose his ideal, and so he entered
the lists to compete for n prize OF
: $500 offered by a purse proud plug
tobacco establishment for the larg'
est number of words to be made
from the sentence.
"Chew Ruminator's Succulent
Plug Tobacco and take no other =
lie made over 1000 words from
this sentence and accompanied
them with over 1000 tin tags from
Ruminator's celebrated tobacco bnt
a rival with five more words and
one more TN tag than he had
walked away with the $500, and
this young man is now striving to
butt ont his teeming brains against
a padded cell in one of the cosiest
lunatic asyIums of which our own
fair land can boast.
SO | would say to you. Rodney,
as | would say to any other man
who had come to me to lean on me
and sob against me and ask me
for aid and encouragement, do not
seek to bridge over this great social
chasm at one bound.
You might injury Yourself l
know another case where young
man named Randall, whose par
ents were plain people, his father
having been in the well digging
and pump industry, aspired to the
hand of a young woman whose
hands had never yet been immersed
in dishwater.
Her parents also maintained u
cottage organ and Brewster side
bar buggy with red running gear.
A BUNCH OF PERIwINKLEs.
One day he was riding on the
same train with her and heard her
express q desire for - bunch OF
beautiful periwinkles that grew in
beauty on the railroad right OF
way, regardless of and entirely OBJ
livious TO the interstate commerce
bill.
The train only halted ut that
point for an instant in order that n
man with a sledge hammer and a
dash of tar on his nose might
pound on the car wheels in a
desultory kind Of way.
Mr.. Randall was anxious to pro
cure the entire group of perlwinkleS
.
and so he delayed too long.
In jumping on the platform
hampered as he was by the bouquet
he missed his footing and also On'
of his legs.
will not 60 into detail, Rodney