Tombstone epitaph., 1887-11-26
LITTLE LAUGHS.

Nothing equals the madness of March hair on bald head.-New Orleans Picayune
 It Is at . circus, when hs can keep his hat dent.-New Orleans Picayune.
 The king of Siam has 5000 wives. It seems almost unnecessary to add that hs is bald headed-Hartford Sunday Journal You may lecture on "patisatly tearing your
 troeB," $ & T. s4c . T; .s
 And lecture from nowtin next chrisemas: But tse effort is futile, tho labor Y lost TT
 With the maiden whose cross is strsbisnius
 Washington Critic.
 An advertisement says: "Lotta, one of the most popular actresses, always uses the - cologne" Suppose she does, 1t will not make her draw for. . scent -7New ,Orlsans Hics- yune.
 The surplus affection of Lotta, 1t is said, is divided between e parrot and . monksy. She can bear the accusation % long e she is not reported as being In love with duda- New Orleans Rcayuna
 "I wish things were shared out svsner," said Cincinnati boy, watching tho colored man at the house opposite wasiank&hs dds- walk. His fond mamrnA Msss ehnut to com mend his sympathy with 'ths peorworldnG- man, when he astonishsd her by aiding, with smphasis: "Thsn ws could have . eolorsd man and hossI"-Epoch. E,s |
 A learned M. D. has discuwss,6 shas sths, causs of baldnes | grsats intsllsstuaity. May 1t not b intellectually, then, that tdrives the bald heads to tho front rowi Ssvants should get to work .eA this ,psakss T.aX. s's's Aassnnes Ass+aSIs ,ssSsa
 A Saratoga belle has divulgsd the fact that diced cucumber, soaked In milk, sa great bssutihsr of the oomplexion. If abe had eaten the cucsnabex the fact syouM have divulgsd itself.;i Hsrf0omplsxbn would have bssn very white, but she would not haxe known it.-Norristown Herald.
 An African tribs .is govsrpsd by . ruler who hss 9o tpuguss Hs ksnot only -ths king, tpt AS sfps,apHh- sRptaas1aeid HemsfsaA
 Why don't some of the young folks gst marriedt We could writs up the affair in hns style, and then we could tell you hew ws en- joyed the nice piecs of cake you sent us.- Freestone Tex.) Newa ------..--
 Sunday School Scholar to teacher of col ored Sunday school class, who has related the parable of the Prodigal Son)-Well, don't timk he was very smart to eat husks whom hs was hungry. Why didn't ha Kill one ob dem little pigss-Burlington Free Press. .. X
 The general failure of the late total eclipse of the sun suggests the possibility that Wig. gins predicted it-Pittsburg Chronicle.
 The president will sss mighty .big, :coun- try. From tip to'tip the American eagle has 5000 mile spread of wing and good, healthy, heaven reaching scrsam.-Philadsl. phia Record.
 His life was fast ebbing away and his mind was wandering. @Bili," he muttered, "hold her up high an let her drop hard; she's checked for Saratoga" ~John," whispered his wife, ado you hear mefn, t. But the old baggage master lay dead.-New York Sun.
 q believe you said Mr. Twister was . to- bacco dealerf' "Not exactly. said he was dealer in cigarettes and cheap cigals"-New Haven News. il,.v1suts
 Gen. Butler Is reported as having told . Kansas City reporter that when he was young man he was examined for an appoint ment as . department clerk and came across this question: "What states and territories would you cross in going from. New York to the Pacific coasti" He didn't know, and 30 he wrote: "None; would 60 around by Cape Horn. n-Nsw York Sun. =. - = A poet sent to an editor . contribution entitled "Wny do livelr The editor an- swered, "Because you sent your contribution by mail instead ossbringing M."-Northsrn Eagle.
 The orator l. frequently obliged to ne troches, but the average woman can talk 100 words a minute with . mouth full of hair pins.-Harpers Bazar.