Fort Worth weekly gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-09-09


salary offered was Sl5 week. There
may be boom in business, as the Herald
suggests, ous it certainly has not yet
struck the av0cation of keeping books. II
competent bookkeeper were offered So
g week il Texas, he would very likely de
cline without thinking that he was throw
ing ewsy very auriterous opportunity.
Still, young men, full of enthusiasm and
hope, crowd large cities with the expects
ton Of securing line positions.
SOME VISFORTUNES OF HUNOR.
There is something peculiar about the
effects of the heavy, miesmatic' atmos.
phere of Trinity swamp. The phe-
nomens it produces is certainly worthy the
attention OF the Psychologists. Whether
this is due to sn Inhalation Of foul air,
arising from deficient sewerage and back
water overfows, Or whether it is caused
by the absorption into the system through
drinking Trinity water, is q matter for
disputation among the doctors. we in
cline 10 the former opinion. Whatever
De the cause OF this phenomen.,
the effect is marked; it is ex-
hibited in various disorders, such
as 8 lethargic liver, 3 distempered
mind, colicy stomach and scoldiDg
temper. But perhaps its most peculiar
phase is 8 grim, woeful sort Of humor,
like that of the venerable philosopher of
the doorstep, who goes hobblinG through
the world laughing 81 his own Jokes.
When Alex Sweet ceased to write for on
esteemed contemporary, and set up in
house keeping on his own account, sn
aching void vas created in its sanctum,
which the said contemporary has been
endeavoring, with but Indifferent success,
to ill ever since. When Sweet departed
he forgot to leave his mantle behind, and,
as result, the effort OF his sue
cessor TO maintain the reputation achiev-
ed by Galveston Slttings" has been
something akin to that of the small boy
in the traditional long tailed shirt to sp
pear SIS "king Alphonso" at al i'm
promptu masquerade. Some years ago
the managers of a"patent inside" puOlcs
ton, subject to the same mIasmatIc intiu.
ences which have overpowered our esteem
ed contemporary, were severely taken to
task for printing certain war stories, the
accuracy of which was challenged The
editor of the patent, with contemptuous
curl of the lip, explained that Jules Verne
had never labeled any Of his
stories, "this is fiction" We believe
this much, by way of explanation, is due
in behalf Of our esteemed contemporary,
which could not, without sacrifice of
that exalted dignity which is its crown
ing glory, condescend to become it's own
Interpreter to the troop Of grumblers and
critics who are too dull to understood
and too insignificant to require attention
from autocratic authority. When it pro-
poses to read Reagan and Maxey and
Lsnham out of the Democratic party,
Tom Ochiltree, whom it favored for Con-
gress enjoys the witticism, but there are
great many people without Toms ex-
perience, who are too dull to see
the point. Ex-Governor E. j. Davis,
if he were alive, would enjoy good
hearty laugh at the keen-cuttine humor of
the proposal, but he died too soon and
thus missed the side-spliting pleasantly.
When the humorist OF our contemp 3rary
wrote that the Democratic majority OF
the Sixth Congressional district csme
hibition votes ne lay down on his pack
and roared with more gusto than ever
Csp'n Cutie welcomed one OF Cap'n
Cuttle's yarns. Mr.. Gibbs also laughed
and perhaps ex-Reverend Jackson smiled,
but the large mass of commonplace
people only read and stared and won
dered. This humorist has wonderful
faculty for ''getting his foot into It,"
Not long ago he, no doubt inadvertently,
sprung one Of his DiaEs-like witticisms
on the editor of the Texas Christian Ad-
vocste. The result was not encouraging
to the ambitious wits of Texas. For
time the humorist was fed through q
quill, while the managing editor substi-
tuted Turkish divan for the ha rd, IN
sympathizing office chair. Both now ap-
pear to be in q state OF conyalescence,
and the humor department has has been
re-estabiiGhed.
"Free Grass and the Panhandle" is the
latest topic of the funny man, who seems
anxious not 90 arouse another citizen of
his own town, especially when he wears
spurs on his boot heels. The treatmsn1i
OF political subjects in is humor depart
ment has q tendency to hefuddle many
readers of our esteemed contemporary.
From the Panhandle, where ths peculiar
constituencies of the people causes
tfe