Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1887-10-28
SQuIBS.

1t takes much less to start q Quarrel
thsn 10 stop one.
Some men get down op their neichbors
when they find that they can't come up to
them.-Boston Courier.
girl may be like sugar for two rea-
sons. She may be sweet, aud she may be
full of grit-Burlington Free Press.
Be thankful every time q friend deserts
you, and thus forces you to strengthen
yourself.-Pomeroy's Advance Thought.
The Journals ideal reckless man is the
one who does nos take off his hat when
speaking to railway oficial-Lineoln
journal.
Do you know why Air. S-sllows his
hair to grow long, while Mrs. s.
keeps hers cut shortr Yes they're both
hterary.-Harper's Bazaar.
loving wife, at Long Branch, said:
The horrid surf makes me keep my
mouth shut Sarcastic husband: "Tske
some of 1T home with YOU"
The aye in which we live thinks the &C.
cumnlatIon of money the most practical
matter of life. But it is a mistake, a
great mistake.-Western Rural.
If you wish to know just how little
patience you have left, try to raise a re-
fractory car window to please fdgety
woman on hot tday.-Philsdelphia Tel
egraph.
Let no man boast that he is free from
color blindness until after he has been
sent to the dry goods store TO match his
wife's black silk, and has come out of the
ordeal satisfactorily.
NO" said an old maid, Il don't miss a
husband very much; have trained my
dog to growl every time feed him, and
L have bought tailor's dummy, that 1
can scold when 1 feel like it."
The reason
l asked a bachelor why he
In singleness had tarried
He answered thus: Because you see,
I've friends who've long been married.
Boston Courier.
No hoodlum could be hired to strike an
average, lick postage stamp, beat a car
pet or do anything useful. He wants to
be in crowd of his kind and stride
little fellow.-N. o. Picayune.
"Will you please insert this obituary."
asked an old gentleman of an editor. II
make bold to ask il because the deceased
had great many friends about here
who'd be glad to near of his death.-Phil-
adelphia Call.
"Ikey," said Oliver Sweat to his only
son at dinner the other day, what have
yop id the shape of pie ?" PIE plates"
promptly replied Ikey.-Stoughton Sen
tinel.
"Rest and change are good for people,
the physicians aver" said the wife as she
rose at night to rifle her husbands pock-
cts. 1--WE had rest, and now I'm going
through these pockets for little change"
Boston Courier.
Young Crimsonbeak-G again for
dinner to-dayf
Landlady-Yes, sir.
"Well, declare! I've boarded here for
three years, and think you've had goose
for dinner nearly every day"
Il guess your right, Mr.. Crimsonbeak.
You very seldom miss meal."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Politics and poetry are not supposed
to assimilate, yet the politician and the
poet are not so very different. One lays
his pipes and the other pipes his lays.
A divine says: "There is no change in
the righteous mans heart" No there
lcn u. mere ID pidEntu libllS III lne
righteous mans pocket, either.
"Bessie, what scratched your arm in
that way?" Mamma, hit it with the
cat"
"Johny," said the Sunday school teach
er, "what is our duty to our neighborsf"
"To ask 'em to tea as soon as they get
settled" said Johny.
Young writer, (to Magazine editor)-I
hope, sir, that the article l sent last week
on fashionable frivolities didn't go too
fart
Editor (reassuringly)-Oh, my, no, sir!
1t only went as far as the basket.
Professor Proctor figures that the
earth is shrinking about two inches a
year. That accounts for the nervous
anxiety manifested by some people to
possess it while it is of some size.
Minister" Which do you love best
Bobby, your papc and mamma or your
two rabbits?" Bobby (after some con-
sideration)- Well, think / love ma
and the jack rabbit me best"
Wife Ito husband)-I caught Bridget
starting the fire this morning with kero-
sene, John. Husband-How much do
we owe herr Wife-Four months wages.
Husband-Well, let her go on with the
kerosene.
Longing for New Sensation Jack "a
naughty boy, who is always in disgrace,
and most deservedly )-"I say. Efiie, do
you know what l should likef / should
like to be accused of something I'd never
done"
Mother Ito daughter) Clara, doesn't
that young Mr.. Smith, who was so atten-
tive to you last eve ming, toe in trifieY
Daughter-I didn't notice it, mamma
1 understand he is worth 100000.
All advice about how to spend money
and how to Keep il is throw away on
the person who does not know how to get
it.
When a man gets to be chronic office
seeker he ceases to be an i'm portant
factor in the worlds movements.
The boy who whistles twenty five
hours out of the twenty-four may not be-
come burglar or a murderer when he
grows up, after all. He is likely not to
grow up if you get fair chance at
him.
A man escaped from Rhode Island
Jail by making a rope of newspapers
twisted together. Newspapers have got
many a scoundrel into Jail. but they are
not often used 70 get scoundrels out.
Chinese Hospital.