Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-01
UNCHANGED.

Kaiser William sneezed four times yester- day morning. Otherwise the situation in Europe is unchanged.-Life. "How long have you been blinds" asked l the judge. "Three years," replied the wit
 ness. "And what is your businesss' "Post- office inspector. ."-Burdette. 1 It is said that trousers are to be made still
 wider this season. We don't know what's going to be done about it unless the side
 walks can be spread out Ittle.-Burling- | ton Free Press.
 Domestic life has no finer picture of con- | fding love than that of husband wearing a | smoking jacket of his dear wife's making and trying to make believe that it fits him divinely Fall River Advance. Little Maria Lewis, five years old, was
 told by her teacher that the Mississippi river
 was called the father of waters. ''How is | that, Miss Mattie?' she queried, Eff it is the
 father of waters it ought to be Mister -Sippi. |" l New Orleans City Item. l Bill collector-See here I have written you dozen letters about that bill you owe | my firm and you haven't even recognized
 them Country editor-Were they written on
 both sides of the sheet? "Of course" ''All | such communications go into the waste
 basket withous reading "-Omaha World. 'Mr. Featherly," inquired Bobby, not withstanding the injunction of his father 1 that little children should be seen and not
 heard. ''have you got holes in your feeta' ssHoles in my feetl" exclaimed the aston | ished man. "Yes; pa says you must have | or else you couldn't drink all the liquor you do."-New York Sun.
 Not a Memphis paper.-Husband 0o ing newspaper" Husband-"Did the
 woman kill himr Wife-"Woman kill
 himl" Husband-"Yes" Wife-'T don't know what you mean by the woman killing
 him." Husband-"Ah, then you were not
 reading Memphis paper. "Arkansaw Tray eller.
 A Philadelphia paper contains the start
 ling announcement that private in one of her militia companies is likely to be promot- ed to corporal. The staid citizens of the Quaker city not easily jostled from their equanimity, but when an event of real i'm portance is pending they can warm up to the highest pitch of excitement.-Boston Tran script.
 "Why do you think you can be of service to us a' asked the superintendent. "have you ever had any experience in railroading f' l s'No," said the applicant, "I never worked on railroad exactly, but I've always done business on borrowed capital and been in
 debt all my life." He was appointed fnan-
 cial agent right away, without examination. -Burdette.
 A Cohasset fisherman employed 8 newly aTI1Veu ITS lInaD, WHO SalO ne hneW alI about the business, to haul the lobster pots,
 of which he had many set about the rocks of
 that place. Upon Paddy returning from his trip he was met by his employer, who was
 much astonished at not seeing any Holsters in
 the dory, and upon inquiring the reason was
 surprised at the reply that "they was none of
 thim ripe, for they were all green, an threw | thin overheard agin.''
 Mamma, are we all wormsa" asked l small Detroit boy of his mother last Sun | day.
 "Why; no, childl What put such an idea
 into your head?"
 "'Cause the minister said in his sermon
 this morning that we were poor worms. And papa told sis she was bookworm. What kind of worm am I?'
 tfYou must be glowworm, dear, you are so htl'-Detroit Free Press.