Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-10-23
LYRICSIN HARD LUCK.
ALL DE- LATEST POPLAR SONGS o. DE
DAY"
Degradation Of the Muse as seen in the WOuld-S
Literary Csnrs-Twsnty-RiVs illusions Of
kOdEr Poets for Only HWan Cent"

Johnny, Git Yer GunI Oe oulan oOeo1
Dat Never Came Remember, Boy, You''
Irisb,' I'd Fifteen Dollars in Ne Inside
Pocket Twenty-Five o. de latest pop'ial
songs o. de day for wan cent. Vol
Chimmie, wot song do yer want?"
Its in this and similar phraseology thai
a Clark street dealer announces himself a.
merchant of 8 literary turn, and trade
generally seems to be good. twenty-five
songs for cent. Shades Of all the skalds
and troubadours! Has the lyric mus
come to this? Twenty-Five of 'de latest
poplar songs O. de day" for solitary cop,
per. 1t is enough to make the dead and
gone minnesingers turn over in their graves
to know that their noble profession has
been SD debased, and that the prices have
sunk 80 low. Cpd rather be kitten and
cry NEW than one OF these mincing ballad
mongers," said the divine Shakespeare, OF
the divine Bacon, as the reader prefers
and, indeed, one might better be q kitten
than a manufacturer of songs, when
twenty FIVE Of the latest and most popular
may be purchased for cent.
| A nations characteristics are, to GER
tain extent, represented by its literature,
particularly by the songs of the people. 1t
would scarcely be fair, however, to Judge
of Americas characteristics by the %
popular songs that may be purchased OF
tbs dealer for the reasonable sum OF cent.
If they are taken as a criterion, America g
song singers incline to the distinctly
tough" in popular music. 1t Is painful
to think that the amateur vocalist OF
aristocratic drawing-rooms finds one of his
favorite dities in You're Born bat You're
Not Buried Yet" q specimen verse OF
which is appended:
In this age Of great learning, when people have
riches,
Not a thought do they give to the poor;
They think that they never will have misior'
| tune,
| Tho to some 1t will come, am sure.
How well remember the words OF my mother,
| As she toyed with the curls on my head;
I've had reason TO think OF them in recent years,
Those words that my dear mother said.
| CHORUS
Treat all men with kindness, whatever their
And your favors you'll never regret;
Never laugh at u man when he's down IN the
For you re born but you're not buried yet.
There is an excellent moral inculcated
in this ballad, and the refrain Is quite
automatic. Que would scarcely suppose
it necessary to tell his auditors that they
are "born but not buried yet" unless, in-
deed, he is singing in cemetery. In the
list of % songs that might be obtained for
the hundredth part of dollar there are
many Of the mother" order. The
mother" song is an American production,
emauating from the serio-comiques Of the
variety stage. "a Boys Best Friend is
| His Mother" was one of the first OF the
music ball mother" songs, and it has had
many parOdies and limitations. One OF
these is prominent in the p for a cent
repertory. 1t is called "a Msn's Best
Friend is His Mother-in-law." The first
verse runs thus:
I'm going TO tell you of saying that is true,
The subject is about mOther-in-law,
tell ysu she's terror and she never makes an
| error,
When with dishpau she measures your jaw:
She'll quicker up her snoot, and say You old
gallOOt,
Advice give to you, oughter,"
If her advice you refuse she'll call You DUN
And say you're not man enough for her
daughter
ChOklS
When you come home at night she's sure to raise
a fight,
BY hitting you with custard pie in the jaw.
Then with loaf of bread she'd bang you on the
head,
mans best friend is his mother-in-law.
The humor of this is as subtle and deli
cate as the odors of Bridgeport. There is
genuine high comedy in this verse. Notice
the choice reference to the mother ,in-law's
''puckering up her snoot;;" also the hilari-
Gus notion, in the chorus, of hitting the
son-in laws jaw with Custard pie. Aud
yet they say that there are no American
humOrists. The pathetic songs outnumber
the ayowedly comic, as variety theatre
audiences are very partial to having
dolorous domestic incidents put into rhyme
and set to music. One ditty, entitled
'Papa's Letter" is simply blood-Cnrdling
in its woe and misery, aud few admirers OF
the variety stage balladist could refrain
from weeping over it. Liten to it:
The rain fell in torrents the winds fearful moan
Made all look so dreary round the howell called
home;
A mother sat thinking of loved husband,
Her enid by her side, in that cold cherries.
| room:
In her hand was letter that by mail came that
| day
From one whom she waited, who in prison now
Crime stole her husband, whom she loved deal
| rs life:
Stunned by the world despsed convicts wife
Mamma, darling mamma, what makes you sol
and cry?
Tell me what keeps papa. VIII he not come
home by and by2
viii we no more be happy in our little home to
| gether?
Oh, now know what makes you sad; you've
| been reading papas letter
| Observe the ingenuity of the Thyming
"moan" and "home," and together" and
'letter." Note likewise the metre. How
deity has the bard RETAINED from having
his lines scan. Could Walt Whitman
more completely defy the laws Of proeodv;
The matrimonial institution comes in 70,
its shard of cynical comment in song, and
domestic happiness is scathed with sar.
casn. Variety audiences consist mainly
of men, and feminine fOibles can be cen.
sured by the singer without hurting the
feelings of any lady. Therefore. a song
like Married" can be sung with general
success.
When you see poor fellow who looks broken
| down,
/
| When his face seems 10 wear q perpetual frown
You can tell very well that he's married
When with sad resignation and hopeless despair
He informs you that wedlOck Is naught but a
| snare,
When he gets humpty back with the life he's tc
| bear,
You can tell very we'll that he's married
CHORUS
| Married married. oh, what bliss
Lots oflOye, and kiSsy, kiss, kiss.
Married married, oh, what sell,
| How SOMETHING'S alter dear mel ali, well, we'll
According to cynical bachelors, there
could scarcely be more graphic summary
of matrimonial life. and in this song the
ear-msrks popularity ascribed to a hen
pecked Benedict are described in the course
of half.dozen verses or more. A similar
experience, but less general in its applica-
ton, is described in chauson said to be
''Pat ROoney's latest and greatest sue
cess" 1t bears the title of Flanagan, the
Lodger," and the initial verse aud the
chorus set forth the singers unpleasant
predicament.
Since the day that l got married.
| kicked and cursed myself,
My wife and Mr.. Flanagan