West Virginia Democrat. [volume] (Charles Town, W. Va.) 1885-1890, 1887-07-29
RESPECTABLE NIPS.
SOLEMN FACED FELLOWS WHO ASK
FOR "SPlRITUS FRUMENTL"

The Complaint of a Druggist Who Cannot
Avoid Selling Alcoholic Drinks to High
Toned misunderstanding Around a
Physicians Prescription.
What win il cost me to advertise my bust
ness for sale~ asked an uptown druggist re-
Gently. II wouldn't dare do it, though, for l
would have a procession in here next day like
crowd Of voters going to the ballot box on
election day; but seriously, there are times
when I'm mad enough to do it. What I
object to is keeping a bar under false pre-
fences Yet I have to, or should lose some
Of my best customers. And that is Just
where the trouble is. When a stranger comes
in and rubs his hand on his stomach and puts
on an agoniEing face, and feebly mutters
that he'd like little brandy and ginger for
the collie, why, can tell him we don't sell it.
know he's a hypocrite, who don't care to
walk up to bar like man and take his
drink; he knows / Die when tell him don't
sell it that way. But when my highly
respectable customer who buys and whose
family buys all their drugs and fancy articles
of me comes in and asks for a little tonic and
plain soda, can't lose his hundreds OF
dollars Of business every year by refusing
Now, there's a rich man who lives around the
corner on the avenue. He comes in every
day about o'clock, and all he says is, Little
sirup, Ed That means Holland gin with
little soda, and humping glaSsfu OF gin,
too. 1t don't make any difference whether
there are ladies in or not, and so have in
structed Ed whenever he comes in, to whisk
perfumery around so that the smell OF gin
won't pervade"
Then the druggist pointed to large bottle
on an upper shelf marked aqua FORTS. That's
trick, y he said, ''that was driven TO- Any
druggist would think that was very queer
looking aqua forts, and so it is That bottle
contains my very best whisky. There are
three or four men-good fellows, splendid
customerS-who got into the habit OF coming
in, going behind the counter and helping
themselves to whisky, and to my best Bour-
bon. Sometimes they paid, sometimes they
didn't. So I told Ed to I'LL the aqua forts
bottle with the best and put the second grade
in the other bottle, and now these men come
in, help themselves, smack their lips and
swear that have the finest whisky in New
York l don't smile. but / want to when
they say that
WANT "SPIRITUS FRUMENTI."
IL hate to have these scholarly fellows ask
for their nips. They come in with solemn
faces, but with an eager eye, and say, Let
me have some Spiritus frumenti-' ! had
Just as soon hear man blurt right out, Give
me some Bourbon whisky or when they
suggest Spiritus vini Gallici,' that provokes
me. I'd rather they'd say French brandy"
Here the druggist heaved sigh, and then
added: "They expect we're going TO keep a
general intelligence office; get mad If we
don't know where Brown and Jones live; ex-
pect us to keep postoffice: get offended il
we don't keep beer, make other folks offended
il we do, and then swear because we can
make a barrel of lime water for ten cents and
sell it for ten cents couple Of ounces, and
think our profit outrageous. l know drug
gist who has gone out Of the business because
he couldn't stand it, and the last straw was
rather rough on him. He's a deacon and
prominent member Of his church. One day
be stood by the soda fountain, talking with
his pastor One of his best customers, an old
man, whose trade was good for $500 or $500,
perhaps more, every year, came in. Said he,
Il want some whisky and a little calisaya
bark and he said it right out before the
minister. Ny friend suffered and hemmed
and hawed, for il was bad give away to the
minister, and at last he said: We don't sell
whisky except for medicinal purposes The
customer asked him when he had shut down
on it, and thought my friend was joking, and
winked at the minister, whom he didn't
know, and then said, Come, be quick want
TO catch the next car My friend was in a
cold sweat, but said, We'll, seeing as you are
an old man and don't feel well, you shall have
it, But the minister was no fool He saw
through it ALL Anyway, my friend has sold
OUT
Couldn't you protect yourselves by selling
only ON physicians prescription the drug
gist was asked The idea seemed to amuse
him. why" he said, "Some Of my customers
carry such prescriptions around with them
for emergencies, if they happen to be down
town or over in Brooklyn, where I'm told the
druggists pretend to be very strict. New
York Sun.