Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-05-13
FUN.
Rou.l on rats-strikers.


The morning stars sang together g.
Joy, after they secured their Iona. honoa
fo1 engagement.
"DRAw1NG the enemy's fire" is d.,
gerous work, both for soldier and ~
artist at the front.
"LAUGH and the world laughs with
you" Slip down on the sidewalk and
the world laughs at you.
SOMETHING that's all the better f.,
being put off until to-morrow-tho
speaking of an angry word.
THE Norristown Herald has an .,
ticle on "Thc Distribution of the Di,.
mond." 1t is such articles as these that
give sparkle to newspaper.
NJ. L. Ho1BRooK has written q bool
On "How to Strengthen the Memory
He omits the most fashionable of
strengtheners, that of tying strine
about the forefinger.
GENTLEMAN Con plank crossing stream,
Well, either you or l must turn back
Pat-Och, you turn, and I will folly
YES. Divil a bit will turn me back 10
such foine gentleman.
A TEXAS preacher predicts that the
world will come to an end in ten years,
Ten years! Who cares? Nine mora
winters of tobogganing yet. Let he:
slido = Boston Courier.
WHATS life insurance." asked ono
boy of another. well, s'pose," said
his companion, SITS concern tina.
keeps a man poor all the time he's
alive, so that he may die rich"
KNOWLEDGE OF CHARACTER,
No man we know by outside show
Howeer that may attract
We cannot tell what's in the shell
Until the nut we've cracked.
Boston Courier.
AT Sidney, an island in the South
Pacific, girls are kept shut up until
they are married. If an island can be
discovered where girls are made to shut
up after marriage, it would probably
be colonized in twinkling.
"NEyER would call boy of mine
'Alias,'" said Mrs. Jones, eff I had q
hundred to name. Men by that name
is allus cuttin' up capers. Here's Alias
Thompson, Alias Williams, Alias |
Nighthawk-all been took up for
stealin'."
The Lowell Courier says that sta
tistics show that no actor was ever
killed while travelling upon railroad.
This would seem to suggest to actors
the wisdom of spending all their time
travelling upon railroad. It would be
q splendid relief to the public. Boston
Post.
The Rev. Brooke Hereford, of Bos-
ton, recently preached a sermon on
GLOW to Make the Best of Sunday" It
is said that some of the male members
of his congregation were greatly disap.
pointed because he failed to recommend
going a-fshing on that day.-Norris.
to1r7a Herald.
"a MAN has insulted me-" exclaimed
a lady who had come to the ball in an
extremely decollete dress, "and want
redress" "You certainly do" replied
her brute of a husband, who didn't OPP
prove of his wife's taste in dress. IRE.
dress would improve several ladies
here. "-7eras Sittiaags.
TRAMP (whose request for food has
been denied)-Well, ma'am, would you
let me sleep in the ten-acre lot back Of
the barn il I won't make any noise?
Woman-le-es, don't mind letting ye
do that. Tramp (appealingly)-Well
one thing more ma'am, before I say
good night. Would you have me called
at sharp! want to catch the limited
cattle train West. Chicago Ledger.
FEMININE PHILOSOPHY.
Could but pierce that dark, mysterious curtain
That wells the future from my eager eyes,
And know beyond o doubt stood u certain
Chance to get matrimonial prize,
Then might scorn this bold plebeian creature
Who with bad grammar comes a-wooing me,
VINO looks SO SLOPPY in his every feature,
And talks OF lard enthusiastically.
I'm thirty, SO can't afford to shake him,
Lest OF q husband might be bereft
Hos homely, but guess I'll have to take him;
1t better, after ALL than getting left.
-Harper's Bazaar.
SCOTT IN THE MEXICAN VAR.