Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-07-05
Too Much Exnerieuce

PuPpieo
Too Much Experience.
Major Win. J. Davis is on the stalf-but
everybody knows that, for his proud,
manly and graceful form as engaged in
doing the equestrian act, is the pride of the
city. Of course it was necessary for him
to appear in the Fourth of July procession
the parade could not Ego on without
him. He HE'D him to livery-stable. and
addressed the proprietor: Mr.. ellis, duty
calls me to saddle, but unfortunately, l am
lame; my arm is not well. | request.
therefore, that you provide me with a
quadruped for the occasion that will treat
me with the respect due my exalted posi-
ton in the National Guard of California. u
" Major Davis, was the response, 81 have
just the animal you desire. He has had
vast experience, and is exceedingly discreet.
Why, sir, when | came to California. in
1852, | saw that horse in Fourth of July
procession, and admired him so much that
| purchased him at price equal to a
kings ransom. Since then he has ap-
peared in every procession, and, as
had the honor of informing you, has had
great experience. You can RELY upon him
with your sore arm. He's daisy!n The
Major appeared upon Bucephaius vester-
day. The noble animal showed reckless
sleepiness when the band played that
seemed to flavor of ennui, and when a
bomb was exploded beneath him he ex-
hlblted a set OF teeth that scared the small
boy, for they looked like grayestones
Throughout the long and hot route of
march he exhibited his wonderful powers
of observation by making efforts to stop
wherever his former riders had found op-
portunity for refreshment, bewildering the
gallant Major by so doing until the latter
understood him and had reason to be
thankful. At the conclusion of the parade,
when General Carey dismissed his staff at
the Golden Eagle, Bucephalus promptly
wheeled to the left and started off through
Seventh street. lickety -brindle," for
his stable. No use to put spur to
him by way of hint The Majors ewes
bulged out as he pulled on the bit and his
sore arm hurt, and he wondered TO himself
why they put gutta percha mouths on such
colts, and bethought him what restraining
order Court would issue in such an emer-
gency. General Carey, seeing his popular
staff member leaving so abruptly, put
spurs to his horse, dashing in pursuit, and
exclaimed as he came up, "Why, Major,
are you running away from us?" No,
no, General came the mournful reply.
" I'm not running away; its the cussed
beasts experience Something had to be
done in the presence of the commanding
officer, and the Major, by strong pull of
his sound arm, landed his horse on the
sidewalk, with his nose against a brick
building, and then engineered the animal.
whose heart appeared to he broken at the
idea OF retreat, back to the hotel, where a
boy who did not care to see many birth
days, but was happy in the present. was
engaged to conduct the four-iegged expe-
| rience to his oats.
IDIoTIc Connective full blown idiots
" honored' the occasion last evening bv
parading through J street in an open buggy,
| armed each with double muzzle-
loading shotgun. Every few yards they
would halt their morse, rest the butts Of
| their guns on the cobblestones between the
wheels on either side of the buggy, pour
powder down the barrels and proceed to
| ram it down as best they could, their horse
being restless. Every time the faded beast
would start up, by the explosion of a bomb
beneath him, these half-drunken idiots
would drag their guns along the cobble-
| stones, completing the process of reloading
when they got the horse to stop again.
Then they would start up the street, dis
charge their guns, and resume the fool
| trick ofloading the weapons while leaning
| over the sides OF the vehicle. If they got
through -four blocks without having their
| hands or the tops of their brainless heads
blown off they were luckier than they de.
served to be.
HOWARD REpoRT.-rhe report of the
Howard Benevolent Association FOR the
month of June shows that "A men, 49
women and SIS children were assisted by
the granting of sol dispensations and l47
articles OF clothing, estimated at the value
OF $31 05. The total number of persons
assisted was 145, and the total expenditure
for the month, S25S Oh. A considerable re-
duction can be made next month. as many
of the women and children now find tenn
porary employment in the cannery and
box factories.
JOINT BOARD OF TRls -EEs.-The joint
Board of Trustees, Imp. 0. r. NJ, ha:
organized by electing the following officers
J. P. Counts. President; ]. B. Burdg Vice
President ]. Domingos, Secretary; II
| Winters Treasurer; J A. Wilson, Janitor
! And appointed the following committees
On HALL. W. Grothen. II. Winters. ]
Malone, H. Guthrie. On Cemetery-E. C
Hopkins, J, J. Buckley, H. Winters. On
Finance-Geo. Boyne. ]. Malone, ]. Crone
| j. b. Burdg. On Rules. j. Buckley
Geo. Boyne, L. c. Hopkins, J. Domin
Cos.
ARREsrs.-The following arrests wer,
made yesterday Anita Para, by Office
Mccormack, for exhibiting; Ed. Grogan
by officer Franks, for disturbing the peace
James Morrissey. by citizen VIM. Irvine
for cruelty TO animals; Frank S. Hall anC
Frank Smith, by officer Carroll, for granC
larceny; John Ryan, by officer Able, TO
being drunk; Ed. A. Johnston. by Office
Able and Deputy Constable May, for peti
larceny.
NEW MErRoPoLrrAx .THEArER. = Th
Vessels Dramatic Company viii presen
the patriotic melodrama "Sons of 20
for the last time tonight. 1t has man
stirring scenes and no historic lines tina
do not ring with the enthusiasm that char
acterized the men who fought our battle
and won for US our liberties. A Celehra
ted Case is underlined for presentation
Wednesday evening.
PIANOS IF you want the best, buy tn
Chickering. A fresh shipment of the ne,
style K upright just coming in. L. h
Hammer, sole agent, No. $40 street.
SoTIoE-City license and water rate
now due. Pay on or before 10Th inst. an
save costs.