davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
Spirited Rspartee.

-fN
"Ah, ma sherry, it does my heart good
to see yOu,' said the empty DamjObn to
the Cask of Amontillado, as the latter
rolled into the wine cellar.
"Well, | lie claret does me good, too"
quoth the Decanter, ~gsllautly raising the
stopper from it's head.
~ makes my ice-water with Joy"
added the Water-cooler in the corner"
''Yes, indeed, Mumm," put in the Cham
pagne Bottle, I've missed YOU so that I'd
made mp NY mind that Heidsieck another
place if you didn't turn up pretty soon."
i've grown positively thin, " said the
Burgundy.
- NOTICED you yere rather Beauney.
Hadn't you better see Medoctor9" replied
the Cask.
TRY my f~zz-ician," said the vichy
Bottle.
"Ob, cork up, fellers," shrieked the APP
pie Barrel. "You give me a pain in cider
ne"
"well, boys, Pm glad you're glad to see
zee back" said the Cask.
II bagn't seen your back" said the
Champagne Bottle. you're all front"
well, I'm glad my Absinthe has made
your hearts grow fopder."
"Fine nutty favor You have, CALCULATED
the Waterco0leT.
"Nutty?" queried the Gask.
"Yes, chestnutty, cried all in unison.
And the proprietor was % disturbed by
the noise thst he called down and threat.
eGed to send them all to a ~salOOnatic asy,
lum if they didn't wind up their persihage
You're all full" he added.
That's a lie" said the Empty Whisky
Bottle, under his breath, at which the Re
frigerator laughed so immoderstely tina
the ice broke and they all fell in.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
lNpECrNCY IN JOURNALISM.

In a recent number Of HdTper's Weekly,
the editor. Mr. GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS,
discussed mt British charges with re-
spect to the indecenCy of the American
press. Discussed" however, is hardly
the VOID. Mt. CURTIS did not discuss
but merely alluded to the charges and
then proceeded to PROFOUND queries with
out answering them-yery convenient but
hardly satisfactory.
The difference between the newspapers
of the two countries il the difference be-
tween the construction of the social fab
RIGS Of the v countries. In England a
scandal is oaly important to the newspa-
pers as The people concerned occupy high
rank. In America all are equal and every
body of more or less importance. And this
is the whole difference.
Search the files Of the American news
papers during the last halt century and nc
scandal will therein be found 10 equal IN
indecency Of handling the scandal invOlY'
ing Sir CHARLES dixie aEd HUGHES
HALLEr. The English papers are clean
enough till a person of rank Is involved,
and then their columns are such that they
would not BE- tolerated - \ general thing
in America.
Now, if the charge had been brought
that England never produced IN u metro
politan city such a wrstched and indecent
newspaper campaign a. that Just ended il
New York City the charge might have
been sustained. Indeed journalism in the
back counties Of Texas IS serene and dig
nifed compared to tina. which the leadinl
Journals Of the country have treated US to
The World, San, star aud Times have made
an exhibition Of themselves that IS a dis
grace to American journalism. Their Ear
guments" were simply a mass Of vitupera
ton, b~illingsgate that the proverhial fish
woman would have to rack her brain t.
discount.
ApropOs Of this a humorcusly inclined
cotempOrary remarks:
During the New York campaign JUS
closed. Mr DANA, OF the San. and Mr.
PULITZER, Of the World, have iadulged il
the most bitter vltupsrat:ve persona
abuse of each other, much TO in,
disgust of the pubic. This eNchaug,
OF compliments was about rs follows
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13

going to kick over the wide and strong
table on which our civilization reposesr
We are not all pawrs, nor are the supports
on which we rely fragile T of wood. Blow
ing up a few policemen in Chicago, or even
the earriage in which a Car drives, won't
destroy civilization"
AS an unique illustration Of the Anareh-
ists' position in this country the following
from the same article is superb:
In the course of q conversation with one
Of the condemned Chicago anarchists, q
gentleman who was induced by sympathy
TO visit their prison is said to have related
the following little story:
VISITOR: IAN uncle of mine had good
sizsd farm once, with a considerable amount
of waste land attached. Being q kindly
old man, and widely known throughout
the country, he was constantly subjected
TO all sorts of demands on kis charity.
One day Il party of tramps came along,
who asked for shelter, and, after taking as
many into his house as il would hold, ne
slowed the rest away in his barn"
ANARCHIST: can't charget 'em nuthin'
for their lotgins?'
YIsIToR: ''No, not a cent, aud moreover
he fed them with the best that he had"
ANARCHIST: (Shrewdly) Il guess II
wasn't long before sOme more OF their
frents came smellin' along that same road,
vas it?'
VISITOR cit was not; a fresh batch,
strangely enough, arrived the very next
day. As ali the buildings were full, how
ever, the old man told them they might go
down to the waste land aud build them
selves shanties, and he. would feed them
all as well as he could"
ANARCHIST: "Mein Got, he was a ferry
remarkable man. After that | guess he
couldn't keep dem off NIT n club
YISTTOR HE could scarcely have done
so had ne tried, tor they continued to ar
rive in greater numbers every day. BE,
cause the best land, however, soon got
taken mp, and the sugar for the coffee would
no longer 20 round, the last corners got
very angry. They swore at the old man
and abused him frightfully. They even
proceeded 10 smash the windows in the
house, and. not satisfied with that, they
tried to burn down his barns, and wouId
attack his hired men whenever they could
catch them alone about the place"
ANARCHIST: They a a mean, dirty
pack. II / had been dot old man I'd hai
fired them all out"
VISITOR: THAT is just what the old mar
was at last compelled to do"
ANARCHIST: ''GOot! But yOt koint o.
peoples vos these, anyhow
VISITOR: well, / don't wish to be per
sOnal, but it is supposed they were friends
of yours"
ANARCHIST lConfusedly): Got in Him
mel, iIents Of mine! But holt on, vot die
you say the name Of dot uncle of your
wasp
VISITOR: II didn't say, but down in til
country where he lives he usually goes by
the name of Uncle Sam
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
NEW MARTINsvILLE NEWS.

sp.eial Cor opoadence ejRe Sandas ReoiS1.
NEW MARTrNsvILLE, November l. -
Miss Eva Nesbit, Of Sardis, Is visiting
friends in town this week.
Misses Loal Wolf and Mary Gray, Of
Graysville, W. Va, are visiting friends IN
town.
Miss Maggie Enlow is confined to her
room with typhoid fever.
Miss Hattie staley, Of &~iddlebourns,
who has been taking music lessons in
Wheeling, stopped off q few days on her
wsy home to visit her sister, Mrs F. d.
Youpg.
Some Of the boys who backed their
opinions of the elections by = few side
bets, lust to make things interesting, went
to Wheeling Tuesday to hear the news AZ
it came in.
The conduct Of some of the school bOys,
q few days ago, in setting FIRE to some large
sized fre-crackers in the cloak room OF the
school building cannot be too severely con-
demued. Practical jokes or teachers are
one thing, and jeopsrdizing property by
fire il entirely another. We have had
enough experience in that line lately.
Mr.. George PAUL, Of the firm Of Hub,
bard & Paull, is in town.
Mrs Godfrey Winkler is confined to her
room with m attack of fever.
Our people of our county are very much
interested in having the feeder from the
Harrison county coal field tap the river
railroad at this point. This is our golden
opportunity.
Mrs. Jeffrey is very ill, and not expected
to live.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13

Uhr;chsville Tuesday, to attend a meeting
of the directors of the Diamond Fire Clay
Company.
Frank Brannagan is here from Washing
ton City.
Iyanhoe Division No. z, u. R., K. OF
P, on the evening of December LIST, will
open the new hall of Steuben Lodge, cor.
Fourth and Washington streets, with a
select dance. The invitations are about to
be issued, and those fortunate enough to
obtain them are to be congratulated.
Foraker's majority in Jefferson county
il 1882.
The arrest of W. H. Harten on the charge
Of receiving goods stolen from Beck's
jewelry store at Uhrichsyille, created quite
a sensation in this city. Harten has several
times been connected with transactions
that would hardly stand close inspection,
but no one imagined that ne was dealing
so extensively in slippery business as to
take in the whole judicial district.
Miss Eva Beck is at Pittsburg visiting
Mrs. J. K. Hanlin.
Capt. Walden is in from Columbus or
business.
Thomas McCauslin, Jr., has been ap'
pointed to a position or the Nickel Plate
railroad, with headquarters at C~onneaut,
Ohio.
General Reilly, of Wellsville, was In
Steubenville Thursday on legal business
Miss Emma Galloway, after residing ior
four years in Colorado, has returned tc
Steubenyille on a visit to friends.
The Madame Fry Concert Company viii
he at the Opera House next Tuesday even
inc
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
NEWS.
Echoes from tho Election The Marriage
Ceremony,

Ceremony,
STEUBENvILLE, November 12.-Tbe
election is over, and nc one YVES very badly
disappointed or much mistaken. II there
were any Democrats around this city who
believed that Ohio was going theie way
they were so few In number that they never
came to the surface. OF course, the Re
publiCaus were somewhat put ont because
Of the result in New York, but then it was
hardly to be expected that Grover Cleve-
land would allow the Empire State TO slip
from his grasp the year before the Presi-
Dental election. Everything remains as it
was-the Democrats carried the Democrat
ic states and the Republicans carried the
Republican states. With the same result
next year, Cleveland will be reelected
President and the country will continue to
move in the prosperous course il has been
in for the past three years. Foraker will
continue to the GubernatOrial chair.
Jefferson county still holds the fort at the
State Treasurer's Office, and Col. Harry
Sherrard will still look sweet in his ele-
CANT uniform.
On Wednesday evening last Mr. 2. j.
German and Miss Maggie Donelly were
united in marriage, the ceremony taking
place at Holy Name Catholic Church, Rev.
Father Hartley officiating. The happy
couple received hearty congratulations
from a large number of friends present.
DR.. G. A. Shane left Wednesday for the
Pacific coast, where he will spend the
winter.
Wednesday evening the wife and friends
Of Hon. John A. kethcart celebrated the
fortieth anniversary Of his birth by get
ting up a genuine surprise party for him.
He was astonished when he arrived home
to and his house filled with guests, and a
large table, sbundantly supplid with sa-
worry viands, spread in the 6inins-room.
The event vas one Of the most delightful
ever known in this city.
The death Of Miss Olive Pearce, daugh-
ter of DR.. E Pearce, at the early age Of
fifteen years, which occurred Tuesday
morning about 10 o'clock, was a sad blow
to her parents and friends, for, although
long M invalid, her sweet disposition had
endeared her to many hearts.
Marshal Scott on Thursday took Frank
Travis to the Cleveland workhouse &c
serve ont a sentence imposed because Of
drunkenness and general cussedness.
John c. Browns plurality in this coun.
ty for State Treasurer is 1882.
Miss Gene Friend, Of Wheeling, is visit.
ing Mrs. W. II. Lowe, of the Imperial
Hotel.
Miss Jessie Myers is at Youngstown,
visiting her sister, Mrs. John o. Ne
Gowan.
County Treasurer Bray went out Il
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
ST. CLAIRSVILLE.
A Slick Thief Caught st HIS work-Flec-
ton Judges Sued.

n ShCk iuitt tbNpht ~ uiS "Orh- T.ieC-
ton Judges Sued.
Special Correspondence Of Tie Sunday Register.
ST. GAINESVILLE, o, November Ia
A man giving his name as John Mulroe
was arrested here Thursday for stealing
clothing from T. P. Hoffner, F.. Trolls
Sons and C.. Trolls Sons. He went into
Hoffaer's store about 10 o'clock yesterday
morning, and while Mr. II. was at the
front part Of the store threw a 81. 90 suit
Of clothes out Of the back window. Shortly
after be left the store, aud it was some
time before Mr. Hoffner discovered his
loss, but he finally found the clothes under
the window, where they had been thrown
out. Thinking the thief would return for
his CLOTHES" when the store would be
closed at dinner tine. Mr.. Hoffner notif-
! ed Officer Geo. W. Doyle and had him
watch for the man. Shortly after Hoffner
had closed the store Mulroe slipped in the
back way, and was just starting TO get
away with the goods, when he was taken
in by the officer, who had been in the eel.
lar. When searched at the Jail i. was dis.
covered that Mulroe had four new shirts on
which afterward proved to be the
property OF F. and c. Trolls Sons. He
had 3 bearing before Esquire George Linn
this afternoon on three charges Of petit
larceny, and having plead guilty was
fined $50 and costs, in all about $50, and
sentenced to FIVE days Imprisonment in
Jail. Mulroe Is good looking young man
Of about % years of age, and claims that he
is not right in his mind. He is thought
to be a professional crook He claims
that that he has lived in Wheeling for
some three years, and says he has friends
there who will help him out Of his trousle.
There is no doubt but that he gives q
icticious name. He viii probably spend
the greater part Of this winter breaking
stone for Belmont county.
Thornton Belts, who some tins ags went
through the money drawer of Charley
Schumachar's, bad a hearing before Judge
Castor on Thursday and was fined $40 and
cost and Is days in Jail The Judge also
made application for the admittsnce Of
young Belts to the Reform School at Ian
caster.
Willis Nichols, who has been visiting
here for q couple Of weeks returns 10 East
Liverpool to-day.
8. q. Doyle, Of Allegheny. came home
to vote on Tuesday.
Minor oibscu, q young eolored man Of
GAINESVILLE, was fined SIS and 20 days in
Jail for buying Q colored man Of the sams
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
Advice t. Ecthers.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for
children teething, is the prescription Of
oneof the best female nurses and physicians
in the United States, and has been used
for forty years with never failing success
by millions Of mothers for their children.
During the process of teething its value is
incslcuable. Il relieves the child from
pain, cures dysentery and diarrhea, grip
'ug in the bowels, and wind collie. By
giving health TO the child il rests its
mothAr. Price 25e . bottia
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13

The FIST number Of The Athendsam
issued bi-weekly By the Parthenon and Co
lumbar Literary Societies of the West
Virginia University, at Morgantown, IS
before us. II is an exceedingly tasty"
affair, deliberately gotten up containing
twelve pages Of bright, crisp matter Of par
ticnlar interest to the students. 1t IS very
neatly printed and displays on the cover q
picture of the University and its surround
ines.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
ANARCHY.

In the November number Of the North
Americas RCrier, Gen. LLOYDS BRYCEh has
an interesting paper on Anarchism and the
ideal state of primitive simplicity which
the Anarchists desire TO reach. Anarchy
meanssimply destruction OF ali government,
laws and order. "BAKUSIN's conception Of
internatiOnalism," Ssys the writer, has
come TO revolutionizs the OLD. BAEUNIN
would destroy government and civilization
itself in order that anew condition of sOCi.
ETY. might spring up on their ruins. In
short BAEUNIN is the political father OF
Mr.. AUGUST SPIES. Chaos, according to
Mr.. SPIES must be had recourse to before
anything desirable can be obtained.
All that modern civilization has
taught us, all we hold most
dear-religion, science, family, mar
rage and our laws,-must De destroyed
in order that q return should be had 70
primitive simplicity rs a basis for a
new beginning. ROUSSEAU bad, indeed,
the same idea, only il was confined TO
theory, aud uttered rather as \ lament than
as an argument. Science, art and litera-
ture, are they not the agents Of dsmorali-
zation?' he asks and what is civilization
but the source of all eyils?' IN that case,
replied ToLrAIRE, we must return to the
woods and 90 down on all fours.' This is
exactly what BAKUNIN would have Us do.
But suppose We did IA back to the
primitive simplicity Of all foars, would
our condition be improved? Primitive
simplicity, by doing away With wealth,
certainly diminiSheS inequality between
tie rieh and the poor, but leaves n harsher
form of inequality, I G, that bel wecn the
weak and the strong, In early times, IN
the sweet simplicity Of primitive society,
the weaker were not only driven to the
wall, were not only made slaves by the
stronger, but were also, which is worse,
very frequently eaten.
"If-BAKUNIN had really lived in the
times he deems so perfect, unless he had
been possessed Of a stout srn, he would
simply have been elnbbed on the head BY
some brswnier savage, and served up fI
lunch. In primitive, or at least in barbariC
society, the lines of caste are strictly
drawn. There are ~cup-hearerS, ly-catchers
and ticklers, umbrella carriers, and any
one familiar with POlynesisn history will
remember the KahiR-porters that walked
before the chief. Instead Of courtiers,
these are slaves; and to have . eOmbina'
ton Of strength and cunning is to De king
Indeed. the very word king is derived from
can Unless the anarchist we're king, be
would have no liberty at al. Fox word
against the ruler he would suffer the ex'
IRENE penalty Of the Law. Aud to that
very civilization which be would destroy,
he owes his immunity in 7aporing As Rt
does.
"I once heard ola gentleman who hao
gained quite 3 reputation as a chess Playei
by accidentally kicking the table when hs
found himself getting woTsted, hoping that
the next game would 90 more in his favor.
This Is the exact position Of the anarchist
asregards his desire to kick. But how, in
the name Of all the seven wonders is be
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
BKLLAIRE.

"The army of tramps'' still visit the
city. Last week most everybody was COM
planning of visits from this class Of hu-
manity.
After a good, long time the arches over
the streets have been taken down and sent
home to Wheeling.
The Second Presbyterian Church will
be put on wheels and set In its new loca-
ton.
One of our enterprising manufacturing
establishments has sent q consignment OF
goods to Japan.
There was a pretty good turnout at the
Union Temperance meeting held in City
Hall last evening. The following pro
gramme was rendered: 9
sIn the Gross Of Chris: 1 Glory"-Rashtun.
Reading 49,. NJ. Campbell
The ----.Psalm no. lto
Prayer Mr.. Smith
Remarks Mr.. Hoey
Subject; worlds Women Christian Tenn.
peranee Union-fts Object and Aim.
Hymn. ..----. ----Jesus Shall Reign
snbiect: The IiGSor Tfaac and For.
eigu Missions.
Bringing in the shesyes-"
Subject: The Child and the Com.
PRAYER. Doxoiogy. Bened.ction.
Several new telephones have bean put in
Of late.
Hoover. Ludwig & Wise are building an
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
: . half pint of Whisky, By Judge

place q half pint of whisky, BY Judge
Gus Kses sold the special edition Of the
REeIsTER here on Friday evening. They
went like shot cakes"
Will Dsnford, mail agent on the B. D.
was in to vote on Tuesday.
Teachers examination here to-day.
Walter s. Cowen has sued the Judges Oh
the election for refusing his vote ON iast
Tuesday. He claims $4,000 damages ms
vote was refused on the ground that Ms
family are residents of Cincinnati.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
M~OUNDSyILIE GOSSIP.

Special Correspondence OF tie Sunday Register.
M0UNDsVILLE, November II
Court adjourned on Saturday.
The Y. NJ. C.. A. melted $50 by their
festival Oh Tuesday evening.
Miss Mary HAnen, Of Glen Eston, was
the guest this week OF Miss Edna yelling.
Miss Devri,s, Of Wheeling, is the guest
Of Miss Fleming.
Capt. Moet Mil was in Moundsville on
Friday.
Trinity Guild will meet ut the home OF
Miss Laura Purdy on Tuesday evening,
| November -.
Robert Mcconnell has returned from an
extensive business trip.
Will Dunn has accepted a position in
the store OF w. b. Hicks at Cameron.
Mr.. Jacob Heatheripgton, OF Heathiig
ton coal works, 6oated down 1000 bushels
OF coal 10 this place this week. Captain
| j. Isreal has taken charge Of IL.
Prof T. j. Parsons spent Sunday here.
Mrs. l. Martin, of Glen f ston Is visit
ing the family Of her son, L. G. Martin,
| on Second street.
ri, kwick Club will meet at the resi-.
dence of J. B. Alexander on Friday even
ing,
Mrs. DR.. John Fris9ell, of Wheeling, is
visiting Mrs J. W. Gallagher this week.
The colored people will give an oyster
supper at Masonic Hail November % and
26 for The benefit of their church.
Misses Sue Higgins and Clara ShOwacre
are visiting in Bellaire.
The foundation of the Trinity Episcopal
Church il nearly completed.
Mrs. S Cox and Mrs. J. Clark and
daughters, Minnie and Ella, Of New Mar
tinsville, were guests Of Mrs. Frank Bur
ley, of the Upper ward, on Saturday.
An Honornh!a Excuse,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
= Hair
UNDERWEAR!
WARMER THAN WOOL!
NO DYE!
WILL NOT SHRINK 4!

We are the originators and
remain the only manufacture
ers Of the genuine goods"
called CAMEL'S HAIR. The
popularity of our fabrics has
induced many base limitations
made Of Dyed Wool, Hair, &c
and by a different process. To
enable consumers to protect
themselves from imposition,
we have placed our trade
mark on each garment.
Consumers will find these
goods pleasant to wear and
beneficial to health, and will
be well paid for any pains
taken to secure the GENUINE
ARTICLE.
DUNHAM HOSIERY GO.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
ouA-rened with the Prices.

Miss Waldo iof Boston)-Haye you Wis,
tied any Of the galleries since yon have
been in town, Mr.. Wabash?
Mr.. Wabash {of Chicago)-Only enc,
Miss Waldo, aud | didn't stay long.
think ten cents for three shots is too high.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
.'FuIl MANY n Gem

of purest rare serene the dark unfathomed
caves of ocean bear" but not one that
glistens more brightly than teeth beam
tined and made healthy with soZ0D0NT,
that time honored donor Of comfort and
attractiyeuess Of the dental row.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13
Beware Of Ointmeats for Catarrh thai

Beware OF 0intments for CAtaFrh that
Contain Mercury,
a. Mercury will surely destroy the sense Of
smell and completely derange the whole
system when entering it through the mu-
Gus surfaces. Such articles should never
be used except on prescriptions from repu-
table physicians. as the damage they will
do are ten fold TO the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by 2. J. Cheney & Co.,
Toledo. o, contains no mercury and is
taken internally and acts directly upon
the blood and mucus surfaces of the sys-
TEN. In buying Halls Catarrh Cure be
sure that you get the genuine, il is taken
internally and made in Toledo, Ohio, by
F. J. Cheney & Co.
E6rSold by Druggists. priee75cper bot.
tie.
LAaghlin Bros Drug Co, Agents for wheeling
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13

MISSES SULLIVAN, BLAINE and Buf'
fslo Bill are at present the American lights
o'LOndOn.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-11-13

Mr.. c. B. Stentzel, q popular member
of the Germania Singing Society, was ten
dered a pleasant serenade by the society
! wednesday evening, in honor Of his birth
day. Alter the serenade the visitors were
invited in and spent a pleasant evening.