The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-07-16
SWEET, IN TEXAS SETTINGS.
THE POETS DREAM.

the wall of the house where Shakes peare lived tablet has been placed" Friend-"O, yes, it frequently hap pens that tablet marks the room where a great poet lived"
 Poet (sighing)-"I hope that some- body will do as much for mc when :! am dead and gone"
 Friend-"Pve no doubt of it."
 Poet-"Do you really think SOP" Friend-"Indeed do."
 Poet-"And what inscription do you suppose there will be on the tab- let?"
 Friend-"Room to rent" NEW SUBSTITUTE FOR cHLoRoFoRM. A gentleman was observed dozing in chair of the reading room of a Texas hotel, holding in his hand a copy of paper. Another party who wanted the pape--for what purpose we cannot imagine-gently drew away the coveted document. The sleeper, however, awoke, and still retaining his hold on the precious document, said angrily:
 "I beg your pardon, but Pve got this paper"
 "Yes, know, but you were asleep" ''Yes, but haven't finished my nap yet. As soon as I wake up you can have the paper"
 PURE BLOOD.
 Mrs. Bondclipper-"Doctor what do you think is the matter with mel" Doctor-"I am inclined to think your blood is not pure. I'll have to give you something to purify your blood"
 Mrs. Bondclipper (haughtily)- "You are probably not aware that I belong to one of the old Dutch fami- lies of New York"
 ROUGH ON PETERBY.
 The reasoning of children is often very amusing.
 Little Mollie Peterby was walking with her mother in the Austin ceme- tery.
 "Ma, there's man buried there," said Mamie, pointing to tomb.
 ''Perhaps there is woman buried there," suggested Mrs. Peterby.
 70, no; it's a man. Don't you see that broken bottle on the ground?" N. B.-Mamie's pa drinks bottled beer.
 A FLIRT REBUKED.
 At a social gathering on Austin avenue, Prof. Shore, of the University of Texas, was present as an invited guest. Miss Esmeralda Longcoffin, venerable maiden lady, was also pres ent, and, as usual, she made frantic efforts to captivate the professor, who, by the way, is a confirmed woman hater.
 "Professor, how old do you really think I am?" asked Esmeralda, CO., quettishly.
 3I can't possibly tell," replied the professor. "Im not in charge Of the Department of Ancient History"
 Many a man will walk arm and arm with the devil until they reach the church door. This is the style of man who is thought to be pious, but who is really only watching his chance. The party referred to in the above paragraph is brother of the man who attempted to cloak his sins, but found that he couldn't begin to get a garment large enough.
 Nothing more completely baffil les one who is full of treachery than plain honesty in another
 Deceit is very difficult game to win by. Men try to play it with an ace high, but the world always calls them with pair of deuces.
 The most cross grained people are by no means the worst of mankind. The are many persons in whose mouth butter would not melt, who are nev- ertheless very dangerous. As Opie Read says: "Dar ain't muffin more pityful dan de cry ob de wildcat, but oh, Lawd, what CT mouf and claws dat varrnint has got P
 Even children are deceitful. There IS good story told of little boy who loved his grandmother. He said: "Gran'ma. how old are you?'
 "About sixty-six," said the grand mother.
 "You will die soon, won't you, gran'ma?"
 3Yes, dear, I expect to-"
 "When l die, gran'ma, can be buried side of yca?0
 "Yes, dear,o she said, as her heart warmed toward the little one, whom she folded closer in her arms.
 AGran'ma," softly whispered the little rascal, gimme ten cents"
 There is So much hypocrisy in the world that even the best and most in- nocent men are suspected. When, for