The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-06-15
HUMOR.
DAIRY maid-Nice butter.

DAIRY maid-Nice butter.
FASHION is the dressmaker's pattern
saint.
GAME to the Cobblers playing
baseball.
THE real. estate dealer doesn't want
the earth; he is always trying to
sell il.
THERE is always room at the top of
an evening costume for more costume.
PUCK.
LETTER carriers are by no means a
modern institution. The PHI nicians,
who invented letters, carried them into
Greece.
THERE is an instance where disease
NAV become diseased. Pursuit and
possession: In one we are sick with
desire and in the other desire is sick.
WE notice per advertisement Patent
fire escapes" Good old ordinary fire
does the same thing, and it is Just as
difficult to head ff.-Ttras St)ttngs.
"SoME people have no teeth and can't
get them, while others who don't want
them have them thrust upon them,
was Smiths remark when a canine
tired TO take mouthful of his leg.
AN interesting series of articles is APP
pearing in the Bdzdr, entitled, "How
TO Live on Five Hundred Year. This
series should be supplemented by an
other to be called, "How to Get the
Five Hundred to Live On"
81 SEE that some newspaper men
have formed club, and called il the
Homeless Cub" remarked Robinson.
"Does that mean that they have no
homes?" NO." replied Lighthead;
at only means that they will be home
less than ever now"
"IT is our duty to keep ourselves I'M
spotted from the world" said the
preacher. Il shall be mighty glad if
keep myself unspotted from the de-
tectives," murmured burglar who had
just dropped into the church to escape
pursuit. Boston Courier.
81 RECEIVED lot of rejected manu-
script to-day" said Titmarsh to
friend. "Did you? / had no idea you
had an ambition to shine as an author.
az OF exactly that. You see, my girl
and / quarreled, and she returned all
my letters. NeoC York Sun.
A YOUNG man thrusts his head out of
the window of cab and cries to the
driver: "Why don't lou drive faster?
/ am going TO be married this morning,
and at this rate / viii arrive too late
for the wedding Driver (sympatheti-
cally)-"Well. what of it? / am giving
you plenty of time to reflect. Figure.
"GoT any invisible ink?" she asked
in a whisper. We have" "One bot
tie. please" you know how to use
it," he queried. "Oh, it isn't for me,
but for the nice young man who writes
to me. Mamma has got in the habit of
opening my letters, and we propose
Detroit Free Press.
a PROMINENT Kentucky lawyer is
noted for the size of his feet. He is not
at all sensitive about them, however
He has himself named his shoes after
after two Ohio River steamb boats, and
when he gets up in the morning calls
over to the boy who does his boot black
ing, Jim, bring me the Indianola, and
then go back and bring me the Pride
of the West"
81 NOTICE." said clergyman's wife
to her husband that ii is no longer
fashionable for the minister to kiss the
bride at the wedding ceremony"
"Yes," sadly responded the good man,
many of the pleasant features con-
ltcted with the wedding ceremony
1--we been discarded, and" "N hats
that? ?" demanded his wife, ominously.
81 mean-I mean," he stammered,
"that the senseless custom of kissing
the bride sh ould have been abolished
long ago. AL the Year found.
Emery little while we read of some
fabulous number of pairs of pantaloons
that the American Missionary Society
sends 10 the heather. OF course pan
falcons are necessary TO fully change q
heather into Christian and gentle
man. but some times we oan't he won
dering little about the rest of the
wardrobe. 1t seems as if the worst
heather in the lot would like a change
from pantaloons all the time-say an
occasional pair of red suspenders.
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