The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-11-27
ROBERT J. BURDETTE.
The HumOrist's Recent Ad-
dress on Newspapers,
AT THE BAPTIST CONGRESS.
and Influence Of the News
papers of To-day.

exercises by DR.. Scott, of Franklin
College. the presiding officer introduced
Robert ]. Burdette, who was to oper
the discussion on the Proper Function
and Net Influence of the Newspapers
of To-day" He was quickly ensconced
in the pulpit, and spoke as follows:
Il feel that ought to apologize for
coming before you with the crude
thoughts that am about to present on
this great question witch has agitated
the world so much, and about which
have myself written a great many
pages at various times. If 1 had found
more time for preparation, could have
written something that would have
thrilled you, but as 1 only had all the
time there was, must beg you to be
satisfied with what 1 have prepared.
The mutations of the subject assigned
me- would be appalling to me if a news
paper man could be appalled, by any
thing. l confess. that, while glancing
over the boundless prairie of newspaper
function and influence, l felt very much
like the old lady who mad so much to
do she didn't know where to begin, and
80 she lay down and took a nap. But
there are people who rush boldly in
where angels hesitate, and remain out
side when angels have entered, and SO,
bred to the easy use of the omniscient
editorial I'VE" cheerfully assume the
task of defining the proper functions
and the net influence of the secular
press, as, possibly, the new reporter
would undertake to present a paper on
the inspiration of the scriptures, future
probation, or conditional immortality.
nave long felt that this question OF
newspaper function and influence
should be clearly and definitely de-
fined, that all discussion of the sub
ject might be closed forever, and this
l will now proceed to do to my en-
tire satisfaction. | will treat the mat
ter with the serious thought and ear
nest appreciation which the importance |
and magnitude of the subject de-
mands. If l seem to be frivolous In |
manner or speech, pray the brethren |
to bear with me patiently, and remem- |
Der that | was born that way. Outlines |
am most deeply in earnest when am |
apparently most frivolous. If / should |
look as wise as / sometimes feel, it |
would make your backs ache IS you
gszed upon me
Originally, the functions Of the news
paper we're described by its name, and
the editor was a public gossip, who
spent all his "time in nothing else but
either to tell or to hear some new
thing" AS the world grew, the bust
meas of the newspaper enlarged: as peo-
pie multiplied, there we're more good
things and more mean things to chron-
icle: more wars and revivaIs, robberies
and baptisms, conversions and hang
ings, births and deaths, marriages and
divorces, sermons and stump speeches,
and the newspaper told about all OF
them. It grew to be the great bazaar
of news and gossip that it Is to-day-a
colossal business, conducted on ap
proved business principles, we'll ar
thoroughly classified, showily
displayed and splendidly advertised.
The newspaper Is all things unto
all men," You open your daily
and ask for what
you want. 1t is here. Mr..
please show the dominic
what you have in the theological de-
partmens. We're running a little
low in this department just now, sir,
notices and UNCONVENTIONAL news on
Sunday morning, solid noupareil, on
the inside, next TO the railroad time
tables; put on your glasses and you
will find them, sir. Look hard"
Something political, sirp Mr.. Worldly
Wiseman will attend to you; show the
Itatesman our new chin-lift. Mr.. W.;
that will enable dumb man to talk for
hours without saying anything" Mr.. {
Badman, this young gentleman wants !
in your liRe; third aisle on
he sixth page, sir; you'll see the sign, !
Crimes just opposite Sporting News
Ind Stock Report. Tears, lady ?
die tears-somsthlng empty and soft? &
Show the lady to the Poets corner.
DR.. Rhymer. Funny column, sir !
Yes, SIR, Mr.. laxative, amuse this
'oung gentlemen until his friends call {
or him" s
This is the stock. It Is differently ar |
'anged and carried In varying proper &
ions in different newspapers, but it is /
.bout all there. We question the wis 8
ION exhibited in adjusting the proper t
ions sometimes; many times, in fact. r
The day John Sullivan left Boston, the il
President of 8 theological seminary '
made an SddreSs before the Baptist So C
iaI Union. The leading independent pa C
Ders Of Massachusetts, next morning .
ave five lines to the Presidents q
peech. It gave forty to John Sullivan, t
q which the great slugger told what he s
you'd do when he reached England, 4
nd how many human faces he pro- n
,osed to pound into pulp before he re- d
uRned. n
We say. THAT is neither right nor a
ensible." 1T is sensible says the q
business manager, because it is bust il
less. More people will read about Sui. d
iVan than will read about the Baptist q
Social Union" But Is it good business? t.
don't Know, but will venture to say Il
without knowing that the Baptist 1
merchants and business men of Boston 4
e prssent more m0ney, better support s
md greater influence In the advertising v
'Oiunus of the Boston papers than a
10 The friends and admirers of D
he pugilist. But then" replies {
he business manager, this ism q n
Baptist paper. Your denominatiunal Ii
- per will give your Social Union two a
oIumns and disniss Sullivan with two k
n three lines, ii it will not ignore him" a
That Is true. The newspaper is a great d
business with a religious department, g
o which it sometimes gives great i'm s
4 Chicago paper, leaping n
l..