Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1887-06-23
NJ. Quad Writes About IA Curious
Character Well-known to
Everybody,

ENeEybouy.
You have seen people who seemed to
ache all oyer TO make someone unhap.
py just such an old curmudgeon
was on the train the other day when 1t
stopped at st. Thomas, and n bridal
couple entered our car. We all knew it
was bridal couple, because there we're
friends down TO see 'em Off, and the
bride and groom stood there and re-
ceived the congratulations for four or
five minutes. The bride looked blt
older than the groom. and the minute
the old curmudgeon noticed this he
slid over and planked himself in the
the seat ahead of them and after u min
ute or two turned and said ::
Beg pardon, but can you tell me
who's funeral that was back there =
why, there was no funeral y eX-
claimed the bride, in answer.
'Oh ! thought there was he said ,
in dry, sarcastic way. and he pretend
ed TO read his paper for three or four
minutes before turning again with:
Are you taking your son TO the sea-
shore, ma'am p
No, sir. This is my husband y
'Oh, it is ? I'd meyer have suspected
it y
Then he went on for a quarter OF an
hour, telling about farm he owned in
Canada, and then suddenly said
Young man, I'd like to haye you and
your uunt go and see the farm and
make me IN offer for it,
The bridal couple turned white and
red and let 90 of hands for a moment,
while the old curmudgeon changed the
subject and began TO talk about Mag
ara Falls.
Ever there p he asked.
Both shook their heads.
I'D advise you to stop off if you have
time. It's grand sight. l suppose,
though, you want TO arrive ut the same
time with the body. What did he die
of, ma'am p
IL don't understand you p she
stammered, in painful way.
'Oh, beg pardon, somehow got 1t in.
TO my head that you had been to a fu.
neral. or were going TO one, or some
such thing y
He then related the particulars of a
smash-up on the road in which he had
an arm broken and his wife was killed,
and added
The case is in conrt yet but I've lost
my marriage certificate and l can't
prove she was my wife and don't ex-
pect to get any damages. think un-
derstand you 10 say ma'am, that you
have been married fourteen years p
'Oh, no ! no sir =
Beg pardon, but perhaps it is only
nine or ten. What l was going to say
was that you ought TO sacredly preserve
the certificate. l suppose you haye ii
with you p
Bride and groom looked at each other
in CONSERVATION. The document hadn I
been thought of in their hurry and hap
piness.
Was reading of a case the other day,
placidly continued the old wretch,
where hotel-keeper had couple sent
TO prison for two years because they
could not show a marriage certificate
The bride turned so red that 1t seemed
as If she would suffocate and the groom
so white that his ears looked like new
blotting pads. That was the last straw.
Five or six of us had been holding an
indignation meeting few seats back,
and our delegate, who had whipped his
seventh man in the prize-ring, now
went forward and whispered in the old
curmudgeon's left ear
Say, mister map, you let that couple
alone or III break your neck ! This
thing has been carried far enough y
'Certainly-certainly,' said old mean
ness, as he got up. Excuse me, ma'am
and you, bub-and il you should hap
pen to have any trouble with the corpse
in Buffalo, don't fail
The delegate choked him off there
and took him to the last seat in the car
and jammed him down and warned him
to stay jammed, and such looks Of relief
as stole over the faces of that bridal
couple l never expect to see agaiu on
earth.-Detrolt Free Press.