The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-12-07

legs played only one season, and it broke
him all up" That's nothing" said
RoIlo. 81 heard Uncle George say that
Parson Weakway played only part of a
game of three-card monte and ii broke the
whole church up"
HOME RULERS.
"Yes, sir" shouted Mr.. Badman, shaking
his fist aloft, II aYow it. 1 am an An
archist Down with the law Away with
the courts Up with the red flag! | will
place bomb under Social Order Down
with our rulers 1 have no ruler, not 1!
/ am" "John BadmaD,' shrieked a
thinly clad voice from an upper window,
'if you aren't upstairs with that coal in
Just twenty seconds FL drop a bomb
down your back when you do come Are
you coming" Even as she spoke he YVES
there, saying that he had just stopped a
minute to tell the milkmaD to bring her
new Astrskhan wrap and turkey dinner.
UNDER THE CIVIL SERVICE RULES.
What is this, WAITER" asked the fearful
guest, tasting his breakfast with an air of
curiosity, ''some preparation of chicken"
mo, SIR" said the waiter, surprised, "that
is fish," 'Fish? All, yes" said the guest,
with cheerful air of reinsurance, and eat
ing more boldly, fish, to be sure. De.
liciousl Mountain troutP' mo, sir"
said the waiter, lust m6ckerei; salt mack
erel, sir. New kit just opened. Are you
up here selling goods, sirP" "Oh, no " re-
piled the guest. II am the Fish Commits.
sioner, sent here by the Government to
stock your streams with edible fish,"
THE HAIR APPARENT.
"Have you met the foreign representa-
tives of the International Arbitration
Congress- asked the reporter. Not yet"
replied Sitting Bull, lifting his foot from
Of dofr, IL led
the edge of his double-bitted tomahaTk on
his thumb-nai; mot yet, but 1 am ex-
pecting them. Ny young men inform me
that our collection of curiosities in human
hair is shockingly deficient in the foreign
departn emit, and am anxious, for the sake
of the Institute, to-By the way, didn't
l observe a marked German accent in
| your voice while speaking?' But the re-
| porter, whose name was Ludwig Auf
scheiker, of the Zeitung, could but barely
| be discerned fsr up the echoing canon,
disappearing speck in the far reaching
| perspective.
THAT'S NOT EXACTLY THE REASON.
Rev. Charles A. Berry, Mr.. Beecher's
successor, is highly commended for the
| Plymouth pulpit, because "he organized a
| great work among the GOLFERS and foundry
men," oh, well, he will be at home then,
in-tbat is, he won't find any change in
coming-he will at once, you see, find him
| self among-er-er-wel in the Brooklyn
colleries, you understand. Mr.. Berry will
find-er-ah-well, why should his col
liery and foundry work fit him so esPe
! cially for Plymouth pulpit, or why-Well
he's all right. Letter go Riley; Gallagher
dead.
| HUNTING FOR A BATTLE FIELD.
"Wbat are your politics, Mr.. Hotspur?'
"Well. sometimes Pm blessed if l hardly
know. am Republican, red hot Re-
| publican, voted for Fremont, Lincoln,
Grant, Garfield and Blaine; but when / lay
! myself out for a red-hot discussion with
my neighbor Spitfire, who is a poison
| Democrat, and voted for Buchanan,
Breckinridge. Seymour and Tilden, find
that we are both bigh-tariff protectionists,
civil service Teformers, Prohibltionists,
and Grand Army men. l can't understand
il, and don't like it. I'd like to be some
/ thing that Spitfire isn't, so as to enjoy q
little lively discussion now and then.
What's the matter with politics in these
days anyhow
TOO IRREGULAR.
eff men voted as they pray" said a
| Prohibition orator. 1.-The Prohibitionists
would elect the next President OF the
United States" Oh, come off, thou reser-
voir. If men voted as they pray some
|
Tertiary for repeating, while others would
never cast vote in all their lives, aud
others again would do all their voting
during babyhood. Vote as they p ray, IN
deed!
PAGE OF BIOGRAPHY.
Yankee Sullivan, the pugilist, used to
drink srom fifty to eighty corkers of WINS
kew every day. When he was put in Jail,
which was, by the way. far too good a
place for him, the sudden stoppage of his
whisky so depressed him that he cut hi s
throat and died. victim of involuntary
reform. The wonder is that a throat 50
overworked as his wasn't worn out long
before. 1t was just as well that he cut the
weary ola swallowing thing, az the vigil
lance committee had about decjSssd to
stretch az no. necessarily with view to
I adding to Mr.. Snllivan's pleasure as his
daily procession of drinks went gurgling
down his elongated neck, but as a gusran-
tee of their good faith when they declared
their belief that the town OF San Fran
cisco could get along without him.
TRUE FACT.
lis the willow a native OF this country?'
asks Rollo. "0h, no, replied his Uncle
George. Where did all our willows come
from, them" "From Napoleon's grave in
a Dls hclcIds Icpllcu OuCl6 USOTge, WIN
tie positive air of an historian every last
willow in America came from Napoleon's
grave" And Rollo wondered why the
Bonaparte family didn't keep out of poll
tics and go into the nursery business.
THAT'S TIE WAY VIZ KILL TIGERS.
l. writer in Outing says that grizzly
bears are big, cowardly brutes aud he has
killed many of them, yet not one Of them
turned on him. Huh yes. Anybody
can kill a grizzly bear-in a magazine. It
will be mighty rough on the grizzlies if
the war paper" craze gets into the sport
ing papers. The poor bears wont be able
to tell their side of the fight.
AT LAGERHEADs.
Wrathful guest, waiting for his baggage,
bowls from his room: Porter porterI''
Calm landlord: mo porter here; this is q
temperance housel"
TO VERIFY THE PROPHECIES.
"Have you never visited Washington.
Mrs. NeIADiue" mo, l have often
| wished l could do 60, bat have never had
| time. and have lived all my days in Ill
| inoIs However, when have finished my
new book, novel on Life and Society in
| Warrington and get it into The publish
er's bgLds, am going there for rest aud
zee what tue people do, and how they
| live there"
| SOCIETY RUsHER.
'.Thats old Callboard's daughter" said