Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1887-06-17
YES, HE DID.

Mr.. Doodovey Vellum was tall, finely
built, intellectual looking man of 80. He
was head salesman in a large Broadway
publishing house. As he stood in the
store one morning, leaning against an oc-
tavo wonderfully -cheap-for- this greatest
of-novelists-madame edition of Dickens,
he held in his hand the following note,
and wore on his face look of the deepest
perplexity:
WHEN's WHM, May 10, 1884.
DEAR MIR. VELLUM: Papa has at last consented
to your calling He is very eccentric, however,
and insists that when you do call all your cloth
ing Shall be entirely of silk fabrics. 1 hope you
understand In fact, he will not receive you if
you do not comply. think you had better come
up on Saturday afternoon and call in the even
ing, as perhaps we can spend Sunday together.
Sincerely yours, SYMMETRY WHEN.
Of silk fabricsl What in the name of
nonsense had silk fabrics to do with the
girl he loved? For he loved Symmetry
When, did Mr. Vellum. He had loved
her from the time he first met her that
winter at a fiat literary reception. This
means either literary reception in a flat
or something else, as the taste of the Wis
itors may prefer.
Mr.. Vellum had for several years been
ready and willing to commit matrimony.
He had saved and inherited comfortable
amount of money and had been, like many
men, resting quiescent in the hands of
fate. Fate had been somewhat dilatory.
but when she nudged Mr.. Vellum's upper
vest pocket with one hand and pointed the
index finger of the other hand at Symme-
try When, Mr.. Vellum knew instantly
that the waited for visitant had come at
last Miss, When was a large, round,
blue eyed, merry mouthed and tender
hearted girl Of 10, with those dreams I'M
dreamed in her look andain her sympathy
that are SO beautiful in themselves and so
enslaving to tia manly heart. She lived
in some small spot on the map of Con-
necticut, and had queer Old father, Vel
lum heard, but for these he cared little.
He was devoted to her and as constantly
with her as circumstances permitted dur
ing the whole of her visit. He would
have proposed to her outright but for the
fact that he never had met her father,
that-to him-very important obstacle,
Mr.. Unity When.
Unity When was character. His house
was a richly furnished but quaint and
rambling one story building, which had
been nicknamed When's Whim by the
countryside, name whose eternal fitness
made it stick and stay. He was wild
over of as many years. loneliness as SYM
metry's age. He had two absorbing pas
sions.. One was symmetry ana uile otner
was electricity, but which stood first in
his affection nobody could tell. If Sym
metry was his daughter, electricity was
his hobby. If the former was an adora-
ton, the latter was a mania. Symmetry
herself could not have told which interest
was paramount, and if it was beyond her
ability it was beyond that of anybody, for
outside of her he rarely spoke to soul.
He was a little, thin old man, with long
white hair and eyes as sharp as rats.
He looked like Sindbads friend. He was
rich, deeply versed in his favorite study,
and suspicious of everything else under
the sun except his daughter.
When she came home from New York
and timidly limited that there was another
man in the world besides her father, he
repressed his natural indignation like a
self restraining Vesuvius, or rather Etna.
When she dared suggest, however, that
that other man might call at the house
Etna erupted with roar and Symmetry
was buried in the ashes of paternal indig-
ton She dug herself out, however, and
returned to the attack. The dampness
checked the blaze of his quite uncon-
sciously selfish fires. 1t finally got them
under control and put them out. The old
gentleman at last consented, upon condi-
lions, but the conditions were almost as
bad as no consent at all.
sIt's no use a talkin', Sym" said he.
'You've ben to Pennington an know
probly q great deal more'n any girl
oughter. They alters learn a great deal
nlore'n they oughter at a boardin' school.
But yer don't know anything like as much
as yer father, an We won't if We live ter be
1000 years old 1 tell We Pm right about
this I don't keer how much the teller
says he loves yer. | want to know how
much git up an git he's got 20 light his
way and yourn through the world with.
Now git up an git in a man is nothin' in
the world but 'lectrjelty. Lemme meas
ure his 'lectricity>an' then I'll tell yer
what think of KIM mighty quick"
ooh, papa! How absurdP' protested
Door. perple1ed and bothered Symmetry
"Absurd nothin'. Amt life force and
Electricity the same thing? Amt the
nerves the finest Electrical conductors
knoWd, an amt every one of 'em insu-
lated as perfect as an ocean cable? Hain't
Herbert Spencer come round square toed
to admit it, when first off he wouldn't
hear to it ten years ago? I tell We I'm
right, Sym. know I'm right. It'Syour
happiness I'm thinkin' of, not mine
Girls don't know nothin'. They know
littlo enough +1-~si-----s1,
before that they might as well be babes
in lace caps"
s.But, papa, what is it you want Doo-I
mean Mr. Vellum-to do?"
81 want him to wear silk underclothes
when he comes up here, an a silk mixed
suit. l guess theyl won't hurt him.
wear 'em myself and they never hurt me-"
sBut how can / write him such a thing?"
"You'n have to f1gger that out for your
self. You've been to school enough, seems
to me.''
ooh, dear!" sighed Symmetry, as she
bent to her task And with many burn
ing bushes and not few sobs she used up
@ whole quire of note paper before she
finally achieved the somewhat noncom-
initial communication which found it's
way to Mr.. Vellum's hands.
Mr. Vellum, however, was acquainted
with none of these circumstances. He
was as completely perplexed and aston
ished as shad which had thoughtlessly
migrated from the river up a water pipe
and found itself confronted by bathtub
entirely foreign to its plans. He puzzled
over the letter all the afternoon. He de-
tsas:oe;ai AID he worried, for it was already
Friday. Finally, in complete despair, he
sent telegram:
Miss Symmetry When, When's whim, Beeswax
Junction, Connecticut:
Do you mean hosiery and so forth? D.
He awaited the answer feverishly. It
came at p. M:
Mr.. Doodovey vellum, Pelonossa Flats, New
York:
Yes, everything. S.
Everything went. When Mr.. Vellum
descended from the train at Beeswax
junction late in the following afternoon
he wore silk underwear, o neat silk dress
shirt, silk necktie, silk stockings, silk
mixed diagonal suit, silkshat, silky mus
tache and manners that were soft and