Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-07-30
Saturday Smiles.

committed suicide this mornings St Peter shakes
ms head d0ubtfully-.'That's bad; what was the
printed in the sunday papers, and" st. Peter,
cOrd1ally-"Come right in; walk right up In front;
orchestra a chair, martyr section. Suicide7 You
When you go on on a summer tour don't worry
II you md yourself in q State In which the fishing
Jaws are very strict. No State ever makes fishing
Times. IVY
1t is the skirt Of lady's ball-dress that costs:
the corsage doesn't come high.
THAT is rather a shabby pair OF trousers you
eyes, Sir; but clothes do 'i not make the man.
WnaI II my trousers are shabby and worm They
cover warm heart. sir."-& Louis Sundau Critic.
West Point Cades TO young lady)-"I am sur
isaed; DID you learn what his ofrense was, Miss
Young Lady-.I believe. Lieut.. shoulderstrap,
Z sa sen''snAn' 0u' nave forgotten which ~
It is generally conceded that women dress to
Dispatch asks: "But why do men dress," Well.
because they look better that way. They would
attract altogether too much attention IL they
dldn't dreSS.-N0rrist0aDn Herald.
When 1t comes to girl eating fce-cream and
drinking lemonade to build church, her patriot
Panhandle.
Wife-"John, why didn't you wake me up last
nlght during the IRE on the next block 2" Hus-
Dand-"lt didn't amount to much" Wire-"Well,
tne next time wish you would let me know 1t;
you Know can't sleep II there Is IRE anywhere
near."-I1i-Bits.
Omaha Boy-"Pa, why can't we have a big house
anu horses and carriages like Mr.. BIinkers?"
company"
"he gets his gas for nothing. "-Omahu World
An exchange asks: Does etiquette demand a
vest on hot day." If it does, it can have ours
NorristoaCn Herald.
"Eternal vigilance is the price OF liberty" as
the husDann remarked when he pulled OF his
Ing, in order not to waken his wife when he went
up stairs-LoWeU Ciiizen
Just prior to the summer vacation a Twenty
nlat IRo ward small boy was requested to look up
He found the meaning TO be without q name "
and thereupon handed the following to his teacher
Ous."-InteriOr.
Neighbor-"What beautiful hens you have, Mrs.
Stuckup."
Mrs stuckup-"Yes, they are all imported
IN, Neighbo or. don't tell me SO, suppose
they proper but our circumstances are such
that my hens are not required to lay eggs every
day."-Ieros Siiings.
Why Is Hades like corner in grain? Because
there's oil In tt.-Boston TRANSCRIPT
Some one says the age OF political party NAV be
told oy us rlngs-NeW Orleans Picayune.
''What noble thing this new Sunday law ts?n
gushed out Cora; tit keeps SO many men from
spending their wages in drink" "TSut IL ia very
inconvenient just the same" returned Merritt: II
hear they intend to close the ice-cream saloons
next Sunday" "Oh, my!" calculated Cora: at is
a hateful law after all, isn't it?"-Judge.
A young Aberdonian, bashful, but desperately
In love, nnding that no notice was taken OF his
quent visits to the house OF his sweetheart, sum
moned up sufficient courage to address the fair
one thus: jean. wis here on Monday NIGHT. /"
'Aye We were that" acknowledged she. "An' 1
wis here on Tuesday NIGHT" $50 ye were.n IAN
wis here on Wednesday" continued the ardent
youth: "Aye. an We were here on Thursday
NIGHT" "An' wis here last NIGHT, JEAN "HeeI -
she said, .'what II We were?" 'An' am here this
NIGHT again" can what ABBOTT 1t, even II We CAM
every nicht?" "What ABBOTT 1t, did We say Jean?
Div We no begin to smell rat?"
Omaha dame-"Mercy me! I'm out of pins~
Friend-"Wen, let's go out and get some"
81 win have to dress first. Oh, dear, there isn't
time"
"There tSn't?"
mo, It's after O'Clock now, and the stores close
at 7."-Omdhd WOrLQ