davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1887-10-21
PROSPERITY.

A season follows season our stocks increase
In size, and we are able to place before our
patrons an endless variety of everything that is
new and seasonable, and command of
ready cash has given us the
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Bill Arp Goes Fishing.

am going fishing tomorrow and stay all
day. Will riS up big wagon and take the
children along and a basket OF lunch, and we
will fish and frnhc and gather flowers and
eat and talk and laugh and get dirty all day
long The sgns are ali right, for the dog
wood is in bloom and the wind is in the south
and il is the dark Of the neon, and think
see myself Just jerking the big Dream from
under the log. Carl knows every hole IN the
creek and he eau catch more fish than ! can
and don't try half as hard. Jessie wants to
pick flowers, and I've promised her she may
wade in the branch, but her mother don't
know it. Jessie comes to me and Carl goes
to his mother for fsvors. What q pity it Is
that grown folks can't be children once or
twice in awhile and wade in the branch too.
The next time Judge Bleckley goes TO
Screamer mountain to he a hoy again and 60
barefooted and make hickory whistles and
chestnut fifes and catch spring lizards and
crawfish and climb trees for birds eggs, and
make black ants tight, and run ground sguir-
rels to their holes and dig angelica and kill
snakes and wreck hornets nests and fight
yallerjackets, I'm going with him. I'm tired
Of playing man all the year long without .
recess Ii is a sort of hypocritical life. Ienvy
the children. The Scriptures say unless ys
be as one of these little ones We shall not get
to heaven" So its time to begin, and there
fore I'm going a fishing Atlanta Constitu-
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
eR'ER 6ARDNeR'S TALKS.
Valuable suxgsstions Hygisns>Uns
sAtistartory .Johnson's Fears.

q Valuable sugEsstionn on Hygiens>Cns
satisfactory Johnson's Fssrs.
/ A communication from Niles, Mich, from
q, prominent colored barber stated that the
subject of hygiene was being very generally
discussed Just now, and he desired the Lime
Kiln club to post him in all the leading
points
The secretary was instructed to mail him
the following printed circular, issued sever al
weeks since:
I. It's unhealthy fur mo dan eight pussons
10 sleep in de same room 10 cnce onless q win
der is riZ
2 De leadin' botanists of dc aige concur
dat dogs shouldn't he lowed to sleep under
de bed in summer
8 Some folk is healthy when they sleep Ia
q nightgown, an some isn't. Use your own
judgment.
4 A pusson's feet should be washed ;ist as
often As he Kin afford de soap an water Ii
ar good plan to scrape de soles wild an ole
case knife.
5 sweet cake. fnatin' island, roast duck,
quail on toast. ice cream, cream pufs an
sich tend to produce nightmare an consuDp-
shun.
i. All pussons should take bath when dey
kin do 81 wldout hurtin' DER feelns. he keer
fui not To slOsh too much water aroun'.
Elder Unsatisfactory johnson secured the
floor to make an inquiry. He had read in the
papers that the Adventists had predicted the
ending of the world on May IS. 1t was q
matter which made him little anxious. He
didn't care to live here after the world had
ended up. He had some debts to collect in,
and he wanted TO remove his family across
into Canada before the calamity occurred.
II the club had any official information to
give him he would be greatly obliged
"BruGder johnson, do you know how by
law No. 21s readsf' asked the president.
NO, sab.
Wall, 1t reads dat any member Of dis club
who believes dat de world am gwine to eand
up kin be fined all de way from forty cents
up to $4,000"
IL didn't know it,"
mo, suppose not After de meetin' ad-
tourns j want 10 see you in de cloak room l
want to feel Of your head an try sn' find out
what has softened it. Meanwhile | kin assure
you dat dar am no cause fur alarm. Jist go
right ahead haulin' ashes wild dat ole mule o
yours by day and hangin' rouT de co'ner
grocery o nights, an doan' lot de 18th day Of
May worry you bit"
The elder sat down with sigh Of relief,
and acting upon the whispered advice Of
Samuel Shin he slid softly out while the Glse
club were singing and thereby escaped the
contemplated feeling. Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Each one Of the two comedians. Messrs
Robson and Crane, has little son, and they
are profound admirers of one another, albeit
they are unlike as black and white. Master
Stuart Robson Crane is prodigious ro-
mancer, while on the other hand Master
William Crane Robson is as practical and
as matter of fact a lad as you could expect to
meet in a Sabbath days journey Out at
Omaha the other day the Crane youngster
was telling one Of his customary whoppers.
-Tes.' said he, so!emnly, when i was in
Ipswich last summer l saw boy lick John
l.. Sullivan"
At this bold and bald proposition young
Robson's lower jaw fell about seven inches.
You don't believe it, ehI' asked young
Crane
oh. yes answered Master Robson, in
prompt loyalty to his little playmate, -oh,
yes, believe il if you saw it, but l wouldn't
believe it if I'd seen il. it."-Chicago News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

'Oh, how little We foolish women know
what We are booming ourselves to when We
unite ourselves in we,ilock," sighed Mrs. Nag
ger the other day, when her husband sug-
gested that a little more economy might not
he bad thing. Here I've been toiling and
shaving all my life trying to skimp and save,
and here you are always preaching economy.
could have married half q dozen rich men,
too Its my opinion that no man has right
to get married until he has home to which
to take wife"
You think he ought to have . home first.
doyou:'
Yes, do. Before he gets the bird be
ought to have tine cage all ready"
Well, snarled Mr.. n, Il don't see it that
way"
''Of course YOU don't. Men never do. They
think lis only wcmans piace to work her
life away for them
mo they don't" he snapped out. That
amt where the trouble is. But before a man
goes to blowing himself on cages and things
he'll find out whether he's got . canary bird
to put into it or darned old poll parrot that
'ud chatter the life out Of him il he got her
board and lodging in the apartments Of
Queen Victoria Merchant Traveller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
THE UNITED STATES ARMY.
How u l. Ercruit-d-H"w the Men Are
Tested

f~pecia! Correspondence
CHICAGO, MAY @.-Pcnpie sometimes won
/ der how, with the deaths and diSrhaI ses
/ in the army, the regiments are kept
up To the minimum number Recruiting
stations for both the cavalry and infantry
are maintained III Chicago Eear in and
| year out to secure volunteers for til" de
psrtment Of Kansas and Missouri The aver
age number Of applicants at each office Is bout
| sixty month or two per day. Ia runtruver-
sion of the idea popularity entertained, that
almost anyhndy who came along WAS always
accepted at the government recruiting offices
the recruiting sergeant said: Why, out Of
the sixty or more applicants every month, We
never accept more than eight or ten. indeed
ten acceptable recruits month has been
considered IA high average for Chicago the
past four years | have been on duty
here The truth is, the government is
rlgidly eNactng in its acceptance OF
volunteers. The applicant must be both
physically and morally sound smart active
and intelligent, and perfect as to eyeSight
and hearing | happened to be present
while a candidate was examined "a 10 his eve
sight He was seated in a chair The surgeon
held one hand over the applicants left eve;
another man, twenty feet distant held up
playing cards one after another in rapid Sue
cession and the candidate was required to
name the card, how nanv spots, and whether
black or red. Then came the examination ss
To hearing The surgeon placed his hand
over the left ear of the applicant, VINO was
seated, his face to the wall, four feet distant
At his back, some twenty feet distant the
sergeant read IN II low monotone from the re-
vised statutes, AMI the applicant had to
peat on the instant the words read A more
difficult task was the repea ting of u false
multiplication table. the numbers being
rapidly spoken in low tone by the sergeant.
as for instance, Nine times nine are ninety
nine, ten times nine are seventy-two, eleven
times nine are sixty four, etc When finally
IN applicant has been accepted he is care
fully impressed with the importance OF
the step he is taking, and Is asked
If he has fully considered the mat
ter and is certain that he is willing to swear
away his freedom for five long year, and he
come a faithful obedient Federal soIiier for
the mere pittance Of Ga month and the
allowance for rations and clothing. The SER
geant informed me that not infrequently at
the expiration OF the five wears term. the sol
dier had saved up 81 900 The pay .oy a.-
years amounts to $40. which NAV AL te
saved If the soldier is sufficiently p: Iieut
Then lie can save 81 a year or - from his
allowance for clothing: frequently be had
considerable. extra pay for doing extra
duty and besides. many of the soldiers play
the part of teachers, instructing their fellow
soldiers IN reading and writing and other
branches. When the term OF their enlist
ment expires they are allowed mileage for
travel to place Of rendezvous. But lev II
81.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
THOMSON. LANGDON 4 CO.. n. Y.
Luxuriant Hair

Can only be preserved by keeping the
scalp clean. cool, and free from dan
druf. and the body in healthful
condition. The great popularity of
Ayers Hair Nigor is due TO the fact
that it cleanses the scalp, promotes the
growth Of the hair, prevents it from
falling out. and gives it that soft and
silky gloss so essential to perfect beauty.
Frederick Hardy, Of Roxbury, Mass.
agentleman fifty years Of age, was fast
losing his hair, and what remained was
growing gray. After trying various
dressings with no effect, lie commenced
the use of Ayers Hair Vigor. 1t
stopped the falling out" lie writes:
'snd, TO my great surprise, converted
my white hair without staining the
scalp) TO he same shade Of brOtcH il
had when l was - wears of age"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Omaha Wife-Yes, that's the way it goes
You'll be sorry some day you didn't take my
advice II my first husband had done as
told him he would have been alive today
Second Husband-Ohl He would, You
told him always to be in at s O'Clock, sup
pose, but if remember Alright he shutfied of
this mortal coil about 10 O'Clock in the morn
ing.
Il told him over and over again to stop
smoking and he wouldn't do it"
Well, he didn't die Of tobacco if know
anything about it He was blown up in an
explosion"
Yes, he sat down on a keg of powder with
pipe in his mouth; 50 there now."-Omaha
World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Tn. Poet Won the Bet.

Author ttimidlyl-I see that the price paid
for Tennysons jubilee ode was SO line
don't expect, IF course, that this little effort
of mine would be
Editor sarcasticallyl-Oh you DON'T You
are too modest sir.
Author-Bu; if YOU will kindly insert IL in
tomorrow mornings paper I'll willingly pay
you the regular advertising rate Of fifty cents
per line. Here's the money-Sl0
Editor with deep feelingt-My dear sir, on
looking over the poem l find it full Of merit
I'll take it.
The author, having made q bet Of $50 with
the rival publisher around the corner that
his poem would b. accepted. walks out Of the
office $40 ahead Chicago Tribune.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

House Hunter like the looks of the build
ing very well. This Is a good, quiet nelgh'
borhood, presumed
Owner-One OF the best i'll the city. My
own bouse is just above. On the other side
where you see those little folk playing. Mr.
Bills. the insurance man, resides. The cLi
dren, however, are charming little people.
You don't object 10 children, hope.
House Hunter-Not at all. | have six OF
my own
owner frigidly,--Ah, that makes differ
ence I'm afraid | can't let YOU have the
house Can YOU find your way outt That's
ri hit Turn the knob to the lett.-ChicagO
Tribune.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
BILL NYe coRREcTs AN ERROR.
How n Correspondent Located Him In
the Wrong Man.ion.

How Correspondent Located Him In
the Wrong Mansion.
IL YOU will excuse me for introducing a
purely personal matter, | would like To
make an explanation at this time which con
Germs me, Of course. more than any one else.
and vet it ought Ia be msde in the interests
of general Justice also. ! refer to q recent
article published in a western paper and
handsomely illustrated, in which, among
others. find n picture of my residence
The description which accompanies the cut,
among other things, goes ON to state as fol-
lows; The structure is elaborate massive
and beautiful IL consists Of three stories,
basement and attic, and covers a large area
on the ground IL contains al elevator, eiec-
tric bells, steam heating arrangements, baths,
hot and cold, in every room. electric lights,
laundry, fire escapes, etc. The grounds con-
SIS: Of at least five acres, overlooking the
river for several miles up and down. with
fine boating and private fish pond Of two
acres in extent, containing every known
variety Of game fish. The grounds are finely
laid out in handsome drives and walks. and
when finished the establishment will be one
Of the most complete and beautiful in the
northwest"
No one realizes more fully than the great
power Of the press for good or evil Rightly
used the newspaper can make or unmake
men, and wrongly used il can be even more
sinister | might say. knowing this as 30,
want to be placed right before the people.
The above Is not . correct description Of my
house, for several reasons In the first place,
u is larger and more robust in appearance,
and in the second place it has not the same
tout ensemble as my residence. NY house is
hess obtrusive and less arrogant in its de-
meanor than the one described and it has 10
elevator i'm it
nv house is not the kind that seems TO
crave an elevator. An elevator in my house
would lose money. There is no popular
elamor for one. and II were to put one in
would have TO abolish the dining room. II
would also interfere with the parlor.
have learned recently that the correspond
ant who came here to write up this matter
visited the town while l was in the south, and
IS be could not find Inc be was at the mercy
Of strangers. A young man who lives here
and vino Is just in the heyday of life gleefully
consented to show the correspondent my new
residence not Vet completed So they went
over and examined the new Oliver Wendell
Holmes hospital, which will be completed in
June. and which is of course . handsome
structure, but quiet different from my house
in many particulars.
For instance my residence is of a different
school of architecture, being rather on the
Scandinavian order. while the foregoing has
u tendency toward the Ironic. The hospital
belong. to a very recent school, as | may say.
while my residence, In its architectural meth
DDS and conception, goes back to the time Of
the mound builders, . time when a Gothic
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

fishing and ruddy
with good health
and good nature.
He is popular in
his Massachusetts
h ONE and will
doubtless III a X e
friends i'll his new
and rather difficult
position. He WAS
born i'll Newbury-
port, Mass. March
% -, 1876; his home,
was there till lie
engaged i'll the lum-
Der trade in Bos-
ton, and it was i'll
Newburyport that
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Our friend Bill Arp is to lecture in New
York. He deserves fine reception. 1t is
said that Bill once went to the metropolis,
just after the war, and was called upon by
Josh Billings. brother humorist. They sat
silently gazing at one another. Not funny
or serious word passed. Dumbness prevailed.
At last Josh, with a sigh, regarding Arp's
solemn face, said, mournfully. Say some
thing, Bill"-Anniston ala Hot Blsst.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Young Man Ito meiiuml-l want you to
tell me what is the matter with HE.
Medium-It will first be necessary to de-
post 81 to propitiate the spirits
Young Man (dolefullyl-A dollar goes.
Medium-You do not sleep well, you have
bad dreams and You are gloomy and medi-
tate suicide every day.
Young Man lin great surpriset-Correct.
Medium-Take this sealed envelope-open
it only i'll the privacy of your room-within
YOU viii find diagnosis of your disease
Young Man zone hour later. Opens en-
velope and reads)-Pie for supper.-Phila-
ielphia Call
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

British Naval Ofiicer-I have heard a good
deal about your American torpedoes, but |
never saw one before.
American Naval Ofiicer-Sou have better
eyes than ! have if you can see one now.
There is one off starboard you must bs
near ghted.
Great st Perry, sir; that's man Of
warr-Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

New York Girl-And you really were u
guest at the castle Of an English lord.
Omaha Man-Yes, | happened TO have
business with him in connection with u land
syndicate. you know.
How lovely it must have been. And you
really dined and slept in an old baronial
castleY"
''Oh. yes"
1T must be the very brightest page in your
memory, isn't Iti'
We'll, didn't catch cold and didn't get
bitten Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

~Enoi ce," said clergyman's wife to her
husband. that it is no longer fashionable for
the minister To kiss the bride at the wedding
ceremony"
YES" sadly responded the good man,
.,raany of the pleasant features connected
with the wedding ceremony have been de
grHl.d, and
What's that!~ demanded his wife, omin.
ouSly.
L mean-I mean" he stammered, that
the scnSeleSS custom Of kissing the bride
should ;luve been abolished long ago All
tie \ ear Round.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
The Sick Editor.

Doctor ito professional nurse,-Well, how
is he this mnrningt
Nurse-W Weaker, doctor Been very low all
night, and looks now like he was cumatose
Doctor-How's his temperature.
Nurse-One hundred and two degrees.
Doctor-How's his circulation.
Editor with fearful yelN-Biggest in New
York! Biggest in the universe Want all
affidavit g-Burdette
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

The cashier Of Chinese bank tried to leave
with the funds for Japan or some place
on the American plan the other day, but it is
not relieved that the custom will become
popular. The government walled up the
cashier in a cell 10 starve to death and
chopped of the heads of all his family And
next fall tney are going 10 decapitate every
body in the empire bearing his sname.-Dako;a
Rel
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Miss Cockett-Yellow roses are supposed
TO indicate fiirtatiousness and moss roses love,
do they not, Mr.. Neversmilef
Mr. Neversmile-So I'm told: and white
roses means silence.
Miss Cockett-Well, what do these large
cabbage roses and Jacks meant
Mr.. Neversmile- Bankruptcy, Miss Cockett
bankruptcy every time.-Harper's Bazar.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Bobby, when Won grow upF' remarked Mr..
Whitechoker at the table. NO, indeed" re-
'ponded Bobby. emphatically And why
mott" insisted Mr.. Whitechoker. amused at
the lads eaInestness. Because ma SAYS sbs
always feels sorry for country Minister'S an
that 5 the reason she has YOU here 20 dinner
SO often brakes Magazine
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Pride and Its Fall.

First Omaha Child ,proudly yI-We're going
to St. Fashion springs this summer.
Second Omaha Child lsympathetically)-
Is sorry your papa is 50 poor.
why, is that being poorf'
"Of course. We don't have to 90 TO any
springs. We've got ii filter. Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

NO, sir" rnundsred the old gentleman, Il
have made up my mind that my daughter
shall never marry a man who plays poker"
She might do great deal worse, sir"
Impossible. Poker has proved the ruin
alton Of thousands Of men, and its victims
never recover from the irfstuation She
could never do worse"
Excuse me, sir, but I'm sure she could.
She might marry some fellow who thinks he
plays poker"
The old man thought it over. Washington
Critic
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

1t is ali affecting spectacle, u deaf a d
dumb school on commencement day, slngi :
We Never Speak ~ We Pass By with their
fingers and thumbs. We can't remember to
have ever heard such sight, but from all
accounts-shouid there be any such accounts
e1tant-it must be one Of the most pathetic
scsn.s you ever listened to-Burcette
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Disastrous Consequences

Two Bohemians are seated in q caboret:
.Garcon, some water" cries one of
them.
why, what will you do with it,
Drink it..
You must have lost your head. old
man. Why, when you only get your feet
wet you catch cold Think of the conse-
quences of getting it into your stomach
New York Graphic.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

Sir" exclaimed irate Mrs Blifiins, as she
gathered her skirts about her, Il told you to
stop at this crossing. What do you mean by
carrying me byi I'll give you to understand
that I'm Mrs Blifiins'
~Ah, very happy to meet you, Mrs, Blitilns
Tm Tom JoLnSop The judge
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

CWIntryman ito dime museum. freaki-Are
you the wild man Of the Borneo woods!
Freak-No, sir; I'm the horned man from
the fastnesses Of the dark continent. Wsnta-
photographonlytwenty
here's your hornst
Freak had headache an took 'em of
The photograph has got 'em on sir.-N-w
York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Probably a "Campaign Lie" /"

First Lady Voter-Did you use those
ballots gave you to vote, yesterday
Second Lady Eoter-No, didn't, Maria,
I'm ashamed 10 say. They made such beaut-
fal curl papers Icouldn't bear to waste EN-
Burlington VIZ Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07
Ten Years YOUNGER.

Mrs. Mary Montgomery. of Boston,
writes: For years, i was compelled
to wear a dress cap to conceal bald
spot on the crown of my head but now
/ gladly lay the cap aside, for your Hair
Nigor is bringing out a new growth. |
could hardly trust my senses when |
first found my hair growing hut there
1t is, and l avn delighted. look ten
years younger"
A similar result attended the use Of
Ayers Hair Vigor by Mrs. q. q. Pres
colt, of CharIestown, Mass. Miss Bessie
II. Bedloe, of Burlington, VT, Mrs. j. J.
Burton. Of Bangor, Me, and numerous
others.
The loss OF hair NAV be owing 70 i'm
purity of the blood or arrangement of
the stomach and liver. in which case,
. course Of Ayers Sarsaparilla or Of
Ayers Pills, i'll connection with the
Nixor, may be- necessary To give health
and tone to all the functions of the
body. At the same time, il cannot he
too strongly urged that none of these
remedies can do much good without
persevering trial AMI strict attention
TO cleanly and temperate habits.
Ayers Hair Vigor,
Prepared by Dr. !. c. Aver X Co. Lowell. Mass.
Sold BY Druggists and Periumers.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-05-07

The King of Denmark has two immense
dogs, which are his constant companions
during his walks and rambies.