The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-28
BRIGHT BITS.

ONE good way to avoid being sunstruck is to
keep the elbows perfectly straght.-Phttddet-
pbid NelUs.
NEVER take a sulky girl to ride in buggy"
says HGrDer's Bdzdr No, we should prefer
hanson girl in phaeton.-SprtnGteid Union,
UP in Washington Territory there is a ranch
where they shear 2,]O sheep in one day. rms
threatens to rival the business done in Wall
street.-ROchester Post Express.
AFTER running lawn mower for an hour
this morning he remarked that if ever he had
said anything derogatory or unkind of the snow
shovel he would most willingly take it back
Springfield Union.
IT has been asked why city is called she V
The answer seems an easy one. There is always
more or less hustle about city. Besides city
has outskirts and a he could not under any cir
cumstanccs have skirts of any kind-Pittsbur0
Bulletin.
"WA1TER" said gentlma1 in the dining car,
have you any gooseberry pieE
mo, sab :han't caTyin' any this yeah, sab, -
why is that?''
Wei, you see, sab, dey's scace dis sesum
Las winter was so cole and stormy dat it wus
mighty tough on de geese. ~ Washington Star.
'OH NO, ma'am." pleaded the tramp, ''you
may think my life all sunshine, but it amt.
Wherever go l an beset by dangers In short,
mo am. carry NV life in my hands"
"Ah, see!' exclaimed his temporary hostess;
that accounts for your not washing your
hands. You don't dare to do it for fear you'll
drown yourself. "-BOStOn Transcript.
TIRE money wasted in worse than useless
fireworks in our city" writes the aStute editor,
would save hundreds of the poor and needy
from starvation viii people ever learn the
iudicious use of money? Here, :" he continued.
turning to the office boy, take that biggest tin
pail there and go aid get it full of beer Hustle
yourself because I'm dry, n-Dokotd Bell.
Mrs GoLDLEAF, newly graduated from a very
humble sphere of life, IS fond of using French
word now, and then. and this she always does
with striking effect. AS, for instance, when,
speaking of some duty her maid-servant had left
undone, she remarked in light and airy man
ner, Pauline is good servant-a very good
servant-but I must confess she is apt to be
neglige. "-HdrperS' Bazaar.
Now at the seashore doth the maid
In garb fantastic sport her,
And with aquatic fervor wade
Within the sunt water
A yard-wide nat she doth disclose
To shield her from the sunbeams,
And yet, when she returns, her nose
A little overdone seems.
-Yonkers Gazette.
ONCE doubly in love, wavered between
The two sweetest girls that know,
And only these faults in the pair could be seen:
A little too lively and quick was Pauline,
While Jane was a trte too slow.
But, alas! their behavior no harmony kept,
When legged them by turns TO be mine
In spite of the way that pleaded and wept
Pauline was unfeengly slow 10 accept,
Jane cruelty quick to decline.
It'd Bits.
A CONSTABLE recently brought man before a
justice of the peace in a Dakota no license
county. charged with selling liquor.
well, Jim, said the justice, addressing the
officer, where's the Ticker he was sellng?'
They had just finished drinking the last of it,
your honor
"IIey?" Numbered the court.
II say it was all gone before got there
- Ill before got tlprpy Great Scott
where was You all the time? DO you think |
am going on with a case like this without some
ticker put in as evidence for the court to sam
pie? Let the prisoner go and mebbe he'll bring
some more to town. And you see that you
get around and make your arrest just before he
begins to sell, and not after it's all been swal-
Tered by lot of fellers that amt half dry us
the court. "-DukOfd Bel