The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-23
BRIGHT BITS.

So you are the friend of the workingman?"
Eyes, sir, am. clip off coupons to encour-
age the poor men who work their lives away
making shears. '-Chicd9o NetrS.
FIRST BUReLAR-wot'l do with this burglar
alarm, Bill, take it along?
Second Burglar--NeS, slip IL in the bag. We
can get something for it.-Neao York Sun.
Why is it that q man who would scorn to steal
even an umbrella will, without qualm of con-
science walk off with the editors lead-pencll
and paralyZe the power of the press for fifteen
or twenty sulphurous minutes:-- Washington
Critic
"CLAwEScE, what does the expression with
out whyme weaSon' mean?N
Don't you knaw, deah boy?"
II don't, WEAKLY
why, it wefeIs to blank verse Merchant
1raCeler.
has your husband gone to the meeting of
the United Sons of TOil!'
He has, sor.N
Was he delegated.'
IF that's a heightened word for dhrunk, he
wor. ~ dshfngton Critic.
CHICAGO AND ATLANTA acting conformity, have
struck great business scheme. Atlanta makes
cotton seed oil out of lard, and Chicago makes
lard out of cotton seed oil The possibilities of
this scheme in the way of furnishing employ
'nent' 70 labor are absolutely unlimited.-BOS-
ton Globe.
BALTIMORE GIRL Ito young Mr. Waldo, of Bos-
COn(-Afe YOU 0QutcLeQ 10 the llDlC OF cigarette
smoking, Mr.. Waldo.
intellectually, Miss Terrapin, 1 ah-am
ashamed to say that do occasionally, only &C.
casionally, you know, smoke them"
Baltimore Girl-Well. / wish you would give
me one. My case is quite empty.-Ihe Epoch.
A FEMALE SERVANT sweeping out a bachelors
room found four-penn piece on the carpet,
which she carried TO the owner
You may keep it for your honesty" said he.
A short time afterward he missed his gold
md Of GIRL cba bod
seen it.
Aud what did yL do with its''
kept it for my honesty. "-PariS Figaro.
GENTLEMEN" said the Judge of an Arkansas
court to the attorneys during a trial II don't
mind your shooting at each other occasionally
if the circumstances seem to justify it, but see
that one of your bullets has hit an overcoat be-
longing to the court and broken quart flask in
the inside pocket. wish il to be distinctly I'M
derstood that if there is any more such careless
shooting in this court I'll lift the scalp of the
galoot that does it. Now go ahead with the
case. Chicago NeDs
AN old gentleman of Detroit was passing
through the ceremony of taking his fourth
wife the other day. At the impressive climax
of the good preacherman's part in the per-
Torrance somebody was heard sobbing in an
adjoining room. "My goodness" exclaimed
one of the guests in dramatic whisper, who
on earth is crying on this festive OCCASION
'Thatf" replied a mischievous member of the
experienced bridegroom's famy-"that's no
body but En-. She always bohooes when pa S
getting married. "-DetroH Free Press.
..M,w1r said Aug,,stts. as he carefully
spread his hemstitched handkerchief on the floor
u Az .ueiI on II ~ MS IuOl leet-" Mamie,
would die for yOu yes, would even be crema-
ted for your sake
"Ah Augustus dear, know you would" an
swered Mamie TREMENDOUSLY, but will not ask
so much. will only ask you, Augustus TO &c
down town and buy me yard and an eighth of
brocaded satin cut on the bias, just the color of
this sample and she handed him a silver of
sky-blue os-grain ribbon.
But Augustus wted and declared he would
rather die any day than undertake such a
task and now Augustus kneels no more on his
hemstitched handkerchief at NAMES feet
Buffalo Courier.