Morris tribune., 1887-01-19

-~~~
All Are Dangerously Fraudulent.
More reople derive pleasure from eating
and drinking than from any other source.
Persons in all conditions OF life think and
talk about the "joys OF the table" But II
o man wishes to thoroughly enjoy good
meal 1t Is certainly "folly to be wise" II
he knows anything about chemistry, II
he has looked through magnifytng- glass,
II he has studied the reports OF the diner-
ent boards Of health, and is reader OF
the various journals devoted to dietetics
and aduiteration, the chances are that he
will have q very poor appetite for the most
costly feast that can be prepared. AS
fast as the various dishes are brought on
he falls to thinking of what he has read
of their composition and preparation.
He knows, or at least he thinks he
knows, that the substance on the butter
plate is extracted from beef suet and
colored with an extract of annotto. he
is suspicious that the cheese is a villain
GUS compound of the curd Of skinned
milk and "doctored" lard. He Is
quite certain there is sulphuric acid and
living eels in the vinegar he puts on his
lettuce, and is equally confident that the
olive oil was extracted from cotton seed.
He has good reasons for believing that
the diminutive fish known as Sardlnes
are nothing but "baby herrings," caught
by Maine fishermen, whose honest indus
try Mr.. Blaine Is trying to protect. he
thinks the beverage known as coffee is a
decoction Of chicory, that the sugar he
puts in it is glucose, and that the milk
he adds is largely made up Of chalk and
water This water he knows to be fear
fully impure, containing all manner OF
organic and inorganic, living and dead,
substances. He is fearful that it con-
tains the germs of typhoid fever or con-
sumption He has been informed that
there are half dozen poisons in every
kind of sauce, that every kind OF canned
vegetable is unwholesome, and that sew
eral death producing varieties of fungus
are attached to most fresh fruits. He has
also read that all the dried fruits brought
from countries on the Mediterranean sea
are liable to contain cholera germs.
DANGER IN THE DRINKS.
Of the wine, brandy, and beer on the
table he has still greater fear. He has
read that half the wines in the market
are made of rhubarb or unmarketable
raisins, that the liquors are clarified by
means Of fish-glue and colored with log
wood or cochineal. He has recently seen
an account of how champagne is made in
New York out of stale Jersey cider and
carbonate of soda at q cost OF about
cents per quart bottle. Brandy he has
learned, Is made from crude alcohol, dye
stuffs, and favoring extracts. At one
time he wondered how France produced
30 much brandy every year when the
grape crop was failure half the time;
now he knows how it is done. Lately he
has been reading up" about beer. He
has learned that hops and barley malt do
not necessarily enter into its composition,
but that a pretty good article, as beer
goes in this country, can be made o!
glucose, ncorice, glycerine, gelatine
aloes, saiicylic or tartaric acid, bicarbo1
ate Of soda, and cucculns Indicus. Ice
water he knows is harmful, so he do
clines all manner Of drinks and eats very
sparingly, rejecting everything but the
most simple kinds of food. He derives
less pleasure from q banquet Tor which
the charge Is SO per plato than the I'M
scientific rustic does from q meal OF
baked beans. corn dodgers, and hard
cider. In short, rs he prepares to leave
the table he takes o glass OF mineral
water with view Of preventing any evil
effects from the substances he has taken
into his stomach.
The person who "keeps abreast Of the
age" In regard to medical and scientific
matters, has learned that the air ht
breathes Is full Of all manner Of gaseous,
vaporous, and solid substances that are
dangerous IL not fatal when taken into
the lungs. II he has read Tyndall on
atmospheric dust, Liebig on poisonous
gases and vapors in the air, and Koch
and Pasteur on the germ theory OF dis
eases, he shudders every time he takes q
long breath. He has no assurance that
the air he has inhaled will assist In the
publication of his blood. Indeed, he has
good reasons for believing that he has
taken into his system grit that will irri-
tate the interior surface Of his lungs,
gases that will poison his blood, and the
germs Of cholera, yellow fever and con-
sumption. The folly of being wise, II
one wishes to be happy, is shown in
almost everything from which our simple
ancestors derived the greatest pleasure
Chicago Times.