The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-03-23
Bill Nye's VIII.

Hlii we y responsible tOr the follow
ing fond paternal epi-tle 70 viii b.
uotei thar ne >cts shining example o.
other men u means by submitting in
aiyaacr an out tine fr biz proposed
VIII for ,he consideration of his heirs
Hrn~oV. Wa. Jan ~
Ms DEtR HESEg This IS dictated
letter The thoughts an, mine. huf the
penmauship Is that Of man named
B,slslv. who is doing the chores for us
this winter NV reason for hiring a
private secretary Is that list Tuesday the
straw berry blonde de>holesiumpel through
a hole iu the ice, and in striving % rescue
him from vatery grave fell and
broke one Of my Iegs. Just above the iet-
lock
Kind friends came from everywhere 20
ask me If It hurt much, and in a thou
sand different ways showed their gentle
desire to draw me into a spiritual con-
yersation a doctor came down from
the Iusanitarium to SET the leg. and tied
bis horse % a little sugar maple tree that
had st 0ur lasr spring When he puts
in his bill for medical attendance he viii
De- surprised 90 find an offset Of 81 cents
for that tree. Imay beslightiy crippled.
but YOU can announce in your valuable
paper that there are no flies on ME 70
speak Of
While spread ont here with nothing %
10 my mind has been quite active. and
had drawn off for me the following out
lines ola viii. which -eud 60 you in
closed herewith Please read and ~
turn. as it says on the Bible rack on
board the ears
Known an men by these presents. that
I. the subscriber. being Of sound mind
and realizing that am now under the
doctors care and therefore may be swept
into eternity 10 any moment, 10 hereby
make. execute and publish this my last
viii and Testament firmly by these pres
ent~
First - hereby appoint my beloved
wifi. II snuetta To- be my sole executuN.
assignee and receiver of my estate, with
fuIl powers TO pay taxes ON said estate
forever. and % hold the same ~ long as
grass grows and water runs. to-ethervith
such either and further relief us the court
may advise
~ecouj-I hereby request that the red
hor-e Napoleon be sold and the proceeds
Therefore be used toward defr4ying my
funeral expenses. provided that the sum
of 50 th,Eetrom De- ,et aside for the pur-
pose Of maintaiug a large. aggressive
bulldog. whose duty it shall be TO mon
key DER my lonely grave until my dust
shall be- Of no Use Co science. II is my
desire that my eNeeutrix shall maintain
said bulldog hereinbefore set forth in or
der thar pimpLy Young medical students
may uot be- too free with all that Il mortal
of "a superior man. lt L. my special de-
sire that no part Of ms economy shall
. contribute in any way to science or 10
the amusement Of a class Of ~ore-eyed
. go-ling~, who cannot get near enough TO
a live man 60 operate on him
desire 20 state also that hope what
/ ever may be old or eccentric or abnor-
NAL about my formation may be geuer-
ou-iy allowed o, pull oblivion over itself
and fade away. do not wish to De- per-
peual in the form Of a fatty tumor cross
. eous formation. let my good dee,Is be
my only monument let the post-mor-
tenn in nav ease be omitted and the time
! be taken up in some other WAY.
. 1 request also that al my funeral the
free list be- suspended and that those who
have a personal interest in the pro-
ceedings be permitted to take part. Per
sons who make the funeral industry a
I business or rely upon it as means Of re-
taxation are requested to abstain from
my funeral as O personal favor % me.
! / give and bequeath. make over and
+ present TO my beloved wife Henrietta all
+ and singular. my real and personal pro-
perty aside frum said horse Napoleon.
heretofore enumerated and set aside for
funeral pupo-es, 20 Lave aud % hold all
said property during her lifetime. and
after that the personal property 90 pass
20 my beloved son, Henry, who is engag-
+ ed in publishing paper at = per year.
To -lid beloved Henry I also bequeath
ali uy wardrobe. I have worn ont his
old lawn-teuni- and polo clothes while
he was attending college using his boat
iug and base ball suits for under-cl0thing
during the winter. and now that 1 am
about 90 pass on ] leave my ol,r clothing
20 him a. a slight testimonial Of my ap-
precidfi1n for his kindness to me. I had
uo polo suit Of nay own also direct
that an obituary. consiting of forty lines,
relative 90 me be- printed in ray sons pa
per a0dGt, at 10 cents per line, 60 follow
pure reading matter for which the sum
Of ,3f viii be- found iu an old sock in my
e~-retoire ,n the barn. do not care for
the obituary. but desire 70 aid "a painting
struggling enterprise.
may add 20 this viii. from time 90
time. as anything gooi suggests itself In
the meantime let me- hear from Won
ever and anon. Respectfully. your
father