The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-09-28
memory and other faculties quite alto
gether perfectly audible.
NOT ENOUGH TO GO ARoUEI


NOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND.
"Don't give the baby whisky" shouts
Texas paper. HUH Texas baby stands q
mighty slim chance OF getting more than a
smell Of it, until its father dies or goes to
Jail.
ON THE wAR-PATH.
Haven't met you before2" asked q sad
looking delegate at State convention. 1T
is likely that you have" replied theother,
for it was he; az am always on hand at
these preparatory Presidential years Lam
the Trumpet that gives forth the No Un-
certain Sound when the right slate goes
through, and the unintelligible plstform
is promulgated" ST see," said the CUES
toner; 81 am here on business myself. 1
am the Death Knell, aud am looking for
the fellow for whom am to Strike. Have
you seen anything OF Hopesp" II left him
not ten minutes ago in the bar room, with
Pride and Alarm. who are just getting
ready to Point and View" Then it must
be nearly time for me to Strike; good
morning; l hope to meet you frequently
next summer"
MAKING THINGS EVEN.
david" said the superintendent, "Hes
manly boy" ST don't know how that
was" said the smart boy, "but JOB was
boiIy man, just the same" And it was so.
AMERICAN GEOGRAPHY.
"What is the way that leadeth to de.
struction?'' asked the teacher. "Broad-
way" replied Rollo, who had visited New
York with his Uncle George. ''Ye-es, or,
possibly, Bradstreet's," replied the teacher.
What is the way to war;" "Longstreet."
ayes, or it used to be. What is the road
to Kar sas?' Jim Lane" THAT is the
old road. yes; and what is the shortest cut
to the War Department." "Endicott."
hot rT,a Of
York and Manner" "Hill and Blaine"
Anything else about New York?n "Field
and Flower" "What torm of government
is that of the United States2' Reform"
SIN what respect?' "In pigs ear" "Go
up foot"
ON THE LAST HALF.
CAN phwat are yez In mour-rning for
Mrs. Macmackinerrny?' 'Sorra the day,
thin, tits for Kelly, Mrs. Killinsgur." AN
plat did Kelly die of, Mrs. Macmackln-
erny2' ''Sure, he died on third, bad
cess to 'im."
MAN OF LETTERS.
Farmers wife: "Where did you come
| from?" Wayfsrer: Camp" "What are
your Scamp" +. w. "S3amper." De-
camps instanter.
GRADUATE.
at the intelligence Office. Miss Mac
Avoy: mo, ma'sm, not the step o. me
4 fut do 1 take out o. the kitchen; Pm a
| cuke, an does no house war-r-k for onny
body. La-WomaD: "Are you q good
cook?" Miss MacAvoy: "Yez niver ate
! yer vittles atther a betther." Woman:
'Have you had any any experience in this
country" Miss Mac Avoy: as i'd sx-
| parience? Didn't ! cuke fur twenty-siven
min whan me cousin kept the boardin'
/ hanty an the new railroad down Catta-
| wsddamy Crick? An wasn't l all winther
befoor that cuke at Morrissy Toms lodgin'
house on Baxther Alley? Is id experience?
Hay ytz ony references for yeIsilf ye can
show me befoor | engage wild yez?'
| HUMAN DEPRAvITY.
| He came into the sanctum with a stealthy
tread, as man bent on some deed of wick
edpess. 81 read the answer first" he said,
softly, $50 as To prepare you geotly for the
conun6rum. This is temperance paper,
| isn't it?' The Lying Editor being busy at
the circulation machine Just then, no reply
was made, and he read from manuscript,
confinIng himself closely to his notes: "Bs-
cause in Maine they Neal Dow, N ia Tex IS
they reel up" Medical students or other;
desiring real fresh cadaver, very slightly
disfgured and only one day on the ice, can
strike rare bargain by applying early. Ma
coroners need apply. Transaction strictly
confidential.
| UNCONSCIOUS HEREDITY.
A son of Jesse James has gone tn work
in real estate Office. Well, ne can't help
it; the boys of that family are born rob
| beIs.
HE HAD THE SUBURBS.
THAT fellow wants the earth, remarked
the clerk, as the tall guest disappeared af
ter making many demands. "HimP" said
the porter; ''you couldn't give him the
earth; he owns three town lots in Wich-
| ita.p ROBERT J. BURDETTE.