Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-09-11


The Boston Base ball management were
so much pleased with the work of Madden
yesterday, that after the game his salary
was raised $3.50.
Arson said that the Phillies would end
in fifth place; Irwin declared that Chicago
would wind up in the fourth hole. It's
dollars to crullers that both will be wrong.
Modjeska is q grandmother, and will
play an actual farewell tour this season,
SAYS an exchange. What An actual
farewell, and only a grandmother. In
credible. Boston Post.
Bridget, you are never in the kitchen
when want you. How is it?"
Sure, mum, for the raison there's no
tellin' when you're awantin' me. The
Epoch.
Mamma" whispered little Mamie,
who had just been punished, Il wish l
was growed up."
why, Mamie?"
SOS / could have a hustle. ~ Wash
iRgtoR Critic.
'IeOnsider Ferguson the best pitcher in
the country. Look how he had been bat
ted this year" Interview with pitcher
Radbourn in the Boston Herald. Praise
from Sir Hubert is praise indeed.
Fred. Mann made two great catches
Thursday. A director Of the Cleveland
club who witnessed the game from the re-
porters' box said that he never made such
efforts when he was playing with the For
est City team.
A Philadelphia Republican paper has an
article on What Keeps the South Solid. F"
But the quickest way to find out is to
listen to Foraker, Fairchild, futile, Clark
son and other partisans of their kind
Chicago Times.
Not every fellow knows what spinna-
ker boom is but all tars, amateur and pro-
seSSiOnal, will be interested to know that
the spinnaker boom of the Thistle is only
about foot shorter than the mainmast
itself.-ErehaRge.
Between the acts: She (reproachfully
Edward, you've been drinking.
He-Only a glass Of milk, my dear.
She-But your breadth smells horribly
Of whisky.
He with coneern)-Is that so? The
cow must have been fed on distillery slops,
-BuediO Express.
Old Gentleman-NOw, Sidney, tell me
who was the first man.
Sidney lpromptly)-Adam.
Old Gentleman-Yery good, indeed
Who was the first woman?
Sidney later some hesitation Madam
-Hdrper's Bazdr.
Mother-Nursery dislogue-Nellie,
have told you a great many times not t
romp with Tommy, and you must obey
me.
Nellie-COuld play with him if he wa
girl?
Mother-Perhaps.
Sellie-But wouldn't want to.-BUr
Hngton Free Press
First Actor pulling the trigger of {
revolver six times)-Die, you miserable
villain.
Second ActOr-Your pistol has missed
fire, Sir Rudolph, but | am smitten will
remOrse for my crimes and l will die &C
cording 10 your wish!
Then he rolled on the stage in agony anC
''pegged out straight" The curtain tell
--ErchaRge.
Patron-That last meat you sold m'
was stale.
ButcheT-Was il?
Patron-Yes. it was, and mighty stale.
| Butcher can show you something
ahead Of that meat for staleness.
Patron-Don't believe il. What?
Butcher-Your account on my books. -
Omaiq Herald.
The principal of an academy in New
jersey advertlses in the Gity papers that
he prepares boys for bus. or col. Back
ward boys taught pri." II you have boy
WHO is a little slow in his gram. or dilatOr
in his rith. or weak in his Lat. that yoU
want to rush for bus. posish. or pro
fesh., yOu should write a let. to the prime
Of this aesd. for circ. and cat. contain
ing terms and curric. The prof's head ii
lev.-ColUmbus Dispatch.
Husband-You know that pretty Mrs
F.?
Wfe-For goodness sake, John, don't
talk aLout that pretty Mrs. F." l cam
90 anywhere without hearing her praises
sounded, until am sick tG death of th'
sound of her name.
Husband was only going 10 tell yoE
of rumor heard about her to-day.
| Wife-A rumor? o, John, tell mi
about it--that's a good soul Scranton
| Truth
Frank Richter is sanguins thai tn,
| Sporting Life scheme to equalize the play
| ing strength of the clubs of the League and
Association will be adopted. The plan il
more comprehensive than any one sup
poses, and involves a radical change II
base ball law and government. Ts'
scheme has been submitted to such long
headed base ball men as Colonel John L
Rogers and Harry Wright, both Of whom
give it their unqualified endorsement.
Mabel has q great desire to have . little
sister, which she had been told wouli
cost her S25, and to that end she hoard,
the nickels and dimes that escape the pes
nut and candy man. A short tine sinci
she went with her mother 10 do some
shopping. During the conversation in re
gard to goods and prices her ears caught
| the expression ''$24." "Why, mamma,
said she, In . ssire by no means below {
whisper, 'S24! 1t EOa.d cost only s.
more to buy a baby. "-BdIyhG0d.
Foutz and Bushong are again all right
so the former said yesterday. They re
por to earG ether every morning at Sports
mans Park and practice. Bushong'E
fnger does not bother him III the least a0C
the swelling has left Foutz's thumb. I
is probable that the two convaleseents val
form form the battery for the Browns il
the opening home game sunday week
When Foutz heard of the injury 10 Welet
he telegraphed to Won der Abe that b,
was all right, aud wanted to know il b,
shouldn't report. Chris. answered: mo
We dOR't peed you"