Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-12-25
THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER.
Proctor Rnstt's Great Speech Delivered
at tho Late LooisvilIs banquet.

publish the speech of Proctor Knott, and
cheeriully complies. 1t is coed reading
81 trust you will bellevs me sincere,
Mr.. Chairman and gentlemen, when I as-
sure you l never rose 70 deliver en- al
diess under more embarrassing circum-
stances in my life. When my excellent
and esteemed friend, Mr.. Allison, invited
me to De present and participate in the
moral, Intellectual, and astronomical
exercises Of this interesting occasion, he
promised me on the honor Of q gentleman
that nothing should be permitted TO
crsmp my splendid genius If
would only consent to make
speech. That l might rummage the
entire universe for theme, AID hold ny
audience spell-bound, if 1 should see
proper, until the circling sges should
mark high noon On the disl-plate of
eternity. Then | noticed in SUNDAYS
Courier-Journal that al the speeches of
the evening were required to be strictly
extemp oraneous-redolent OF the aroma
Of spontaneity. fresh as the fragrance OF
new moWn hay, delicious as the odor OF
the deW-mOistened violet. Iwss delighted
with this wise ana Eumaue regulation,
fer had long been convinced that sny
speaker who should fsil on such an occs-
sion 10 "shOOt from the shoulder" should
be shot IN the neck.
81 determined, therefore, that l would
sit down and write me out FIRST clsss
eXtemporaneous speech, and deliver II
off-hsnd when my turn should come.
speech in which 1 would not only ran
ssck the richest tressure-houses Of wis
dom, but sound all the depths srd shoals
Of oul-stiirIneiand heart-rendirg, scalp
lifting elCQuence-one that would make
your knotted and combined locks 60 part
and each particular hair to stand on END
like the fur on cats tail when 8 strange
dog comes into the room.
"The difficulty, however, was in select
ing suitable subjsct. There was a vast
variety OF topics upon which felt fully
competent to shed perfect 6eluge of
light, but was in the predicsment of the
traditional donkey who persisted heroical-
~ between two bsY-stacks, voluntary
martyr 10 his own infeXible impartlalitY;
| couldn't choose between them. To tell
the truth. couldn't for the life of me
think Of any topic within the entire range
Of human intelligence about which the
average commercial tourist didn't knows
great deal more than 1 did myself;
for if there Is anything worth
knowing that estimable and wide-swske
class OF our felloW-citiZens hiss found it
out long ago, and don't you fail TO charge
your memories with the fact. TGreat
laughter. did think for awhile of
Offering few new and original sugges-
tons in relation to tsriff for revenue
only Troars Of laughterl but, upon refec-
tiop, abandoned the Idea. It seemed to
NE that it would DE entirely unnecessary,
as l was confident my audience would be
iTsfull accord with me on at least one
branch Of the subject, FOR, whatever your
views may be with regard to the tariff, |
an satisfied you are ''for revenue only
Laughter end applause.
81 concluded, therefore, 20 follow the
example CT the pseudo preacher, mention
ed in modern chlyalry, who announced to
his congregation, on rising to deliver his
trisl sermon, that he would not take any
particular tex, but just preach up and
down in the scriptures wherever ne could
fed & word CT seasonaole doctrine
laughter
sand right here I think I had better
pause snd submit G. profound observation
or two upon an important but vexed ques-
ton Of terminclogy. Desiring TO be as
elegant as possible in my dictioD, I al
luded while ago to the ex ;eilent gen
tlemen in whose honor :nis entertain
ment is rendered, SIS CONNIE -cial iourlsss
But don't like the term IS there applied
In one sense it is accurate enough, per-
haps, but beyond the mere fact that ne
generally corfiles his travels to
& prescribed circuit, the word 'toar-
ISL conveys TO definite idea of the vo-
cStion or characteristics of the active,
energetic, intelligent, pushing pioreer CT
trade who braves the Weiss iLudes Of the
seasons ana challenges tie perils of
food and fisld for the love eff his arduous
calling. 1t is equally as appropriate TO
the OverWoTked msn Of business who
seeks surcease Of toll in an excursion De-
yond the seas, or to the INDECENT dawdler
who follows the beaten paths CT travel
simply to escape the psngs of ennui which
prey upon him in lis luxurious home. 1t
suggests nothing beyond mere lccomotior
III circle.
"For the same reason I obj to tha
term commercial traveller which my
friends the Chsirman and Mr.. McDer-
mott employed IN their elegant and in
structiVe addresses to which you have.
just listened. II is too indehaite and in-
conclusive. Commercial evangelism
strikes me as far more significant and sp-
pTopriate. Laughter.
ESPECIALLY in view Of the modern &C
ceptarion OF rhst word, the svant courier
OF Christian civilization, who puts aside
the endesruents of home snd family, and
goes -hIavely out into the world on
his Masters work, defyirg discomfort,
disease DANGER AMI dpnth
'I make no point on the well-known
Characteristic piety Of the Knight Errant
OF Trade, which OF itself might give him
colorado claim to the title of evangelist
laughter, but | hold that next TO the
blessed religion of cur Divine Savior
the most potential CT the promoters Of
human civilization is commerce. II min
listers TO our wants, multiplies our com
forts, gratities our taste, enlarges our In
telligence, increases our erjoyments, ele
Yates our natures, and prepares the way
FOR the gospel OF pesce-'peace on earth
good will to men, [Applause.l It dis
regards alike the heat of the tropics and
the SHOWS OF the frigid zones. l. dsres
the night and tempests of the trackless
sea; itspsns the raging torrent; itbrushes
the mountain out of it's way; it changes
the wilderness into the teeming field, and
resrs the stately palace in plsce CT the
squalld howell. The school bell beats
time to its stesdy march, and the church
spiTe springs up in its pathway. Great
applause. Why should not the iorerun-
ners Of an agency so oenefi;ent and sub