The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-31
BRIGHT BITS.

THE women's poc&etbooks are getting larger
ana larger, aud il is said by one who pretendS to
know-though, OF course. the fellow is uttering
a llbel-that the bigger the pOc6etbook the less
1t has in it.-Bostolt Transcript.
ONE of the things better left unsaId.
Mrs. Moyonage How well you're looking, Mr..
Niladmirar. Really, Europe has done wonders
for you. You look made over.
Mr.. NHadmrar-Hes, indeed | am. You
ought to go to Europe Boston Herald.
THE following testimonial from a lady has
been left at this Office for sale by a dealer in
patent medicines: Dear Doctor will say that
While suffering from severe backache l took
my purse in my hand and went out to buy one
Of your plasters met street thief on the
The corner. and was relieved at once. You can
use this for what it is worth. ''-Burlin1ton Free
Press
BRowN-Haye you seen Dunley lately, Robin
son:
Robnson-Yes. only a few moments ago. He
invited me to have a drink with hlm.
Brown-Did he have anything in particular to
sayg
for the drinks he'd fix it up with me some other
time.-Itd- Bits
TRAMP-Madam You see before you a hungry
mau; in fact, I'm starving
Housewife-Got nothing in the house but
bakers bread.
Tramp-baker's bread! Saved Madam, here
is a hunk of home made bread your neighbor on
the left gave me- | will gladly exchange it for
variety can eat Thank you, ma am. You
can use this for stepping stone Good day,
ma'am.-Omahd Herald.
MARY was sent away from the dinner table
because she misbehaved, and told to go up stairs
and tell nurse to put her to bed. The family
coming in from dinner half hour later, found
her threading her way among the parlor chairs
and tables in most complicated figures.
Mary exclaimed her mother, didn't tell
you to 20 upstairs?"
Mary looked up pacidly: "Yes'm. I'm go
m IN, nv vsov nttr yIT5 ao,-'c RTzr
A POOR LITTLE FELLOW was observed the other
day s3bbing on a Boston street orner, and
kind-hearted gentleman accoSted him with,
SAY, ny little man. what is the matter:'
"Fadder and mudder be dead, and dey amt
got muffin to eat,
But, my child continued his questioner
they have little need of anything to eat if they
are dead. What pat such an idea into your little
head"
Dat 5 what dey told me to say" tearfully ex-
claimed the youthful mendicant, unwittingly
exposing the fact that he had been sent out on
his supplicating mission, and had got the appeal
he was TO make ridicuously mixed up.-BostOn
Budget.
HAVE You seen papas new dog, Carlo?" she
asked as they sat in the parlor,
Yes ~ he replied uneaSy Il have had the
pleasure of meeting the dog.
Isn't he splendid: He-is so affectionate.'
Il noticed that he was very demonstrative, ."
returned he as he moved uneasily in his chair
He is very playful, too never saw more
playful animal in my life"
Il am glad to hear you say that"
Why"
Because | was a little bit afraid that when he
bit that piece out of me the other evening he
was in earnest. But If he was only in play of
course it's all right, l can take fun as well as
anybody. '-lefchont Traveller.
THERE was a certain character in one of our
country towns, who was noted more for the va
riOus means to which he resorted to earn a liv-
ing than for his veracty. At one time it hap
Dened he was Deddliug fish and his cry eulr,-
moned a very particular old lady to the side of
the wagon.
Are these fish fresh?'' she asked, viewing the
fnny representatives with suspicion.
''Yes'm; caught this very mornin', was the
reply
Are you sure" she continued, giving the load
sundry pokes. They all seem to be dead
they are dead. They were so lively when left
home that had ter kill EN- to keep em from
jumpin' outer Their wagon. '-HdrIer'S Bazaar.