davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
sold Tecumsch' a JOly ROunder,

New York Letter.
Gen. Sherman is the astonishment
OF the town. When he came here to
make a home for his leisure, after his
retirement from the army, he took
elegant refuge in Broadway hotel,
announced that he was no longer q
public man, and warned offeverybody
who would allure him into renoun OF
a trivial sort. His dignity was going
to be extreme. But his glum repel-
lance turns out to be sham, and he
has become one OF the jolliest FOUNDERS
in New York. 1t is not to be even
limited that he is q Bacchanallan or
anything else OF reprehensible sort;
but he truly is p man about town
with respectable vengeance. Formal
dinners are his constant diversion.
He attends three or four every week,
from the grand banquet of some COM
merciaily heavy society to the jovial
gathering of q dozen army cronies; but
what causes express comment is his
habit OF hob-nobbing at table with ac-
tors and actresses. At a recent Md
night spread, on the stage of a. city
theatre. he sat to eat, drink and talk
between the manager and an actress.
The general was as joyial AZ any
pi tlIehs; TOO.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
A Victim to Fortunes ravors.

A reporter of the Appeal, hearing
that Mr.. J. c. Curry. of the Tivoli
garden, 181 Main street, had "struck'
The Louisiana State Lottery in the
drawing of the 14th inst, dropped into
his place of business yesterday after
noon and found him quietly serving his
customers, as though the "pick up'
was no new thing to him. The re-
porter stared in amazement, wonder
ing at the serenity of this favorite of
fortune. Finding speech, he congrat-
ulated Mr.. Curry upon his good for
tune, "Oh," said the winner, with n
waive of his hand, sit is a small mat
ter-only $5,ooo-and my hand has
been shaken and my health drank un-
til 1 am dizzy" "You treat the mat
ter coolly, 1.-THE reporter ventured, more
amazed than ever. Yes said Mr.
Curry, ~ got $1,000 and placed it in
bank to my credit. did not particu-
larly need it. 1t is just lucky hit
that is liable to strike any man that
plays against square game; and the
Louisiana is fair, you know" and with
this the proprietor of the one-twcn-
tieth of ticket No. 81 ,65S turned to re-
ceive new congratulations and to set
up the drinks, while the reporter slow
ly returned to his wigwam, contem-
plating the wonderful nerve required
to stand up under such stroke of for
tune.-Memphis (Tenn.) Appeal June
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
An Affecting Scene.

An old fellow with benevolent face
sat in the business Office Of a large
wholesale house. A young man en-
tered and asked for employment.
"Have you any references?"
mo, sir"
Recommendations of any kind?"
mo, SIR"
Then. how do you expect to obtain
employment"
by making a remarkable state
ment"
'.What is itP''
II have recently been discharged.
but not on account of the interstate
law"
The old fellow almost upset his desk
in springing to his feet, and. throwing
his arms about the Young man hoarse-
" whispered: you shall have . halt
interest," in my h,siaess. Thank baE,en
thai, Y4u hNs o. last found mo. VIZ
AkgTaew 4Fayeler;
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
Carl Dunder.


From Detroit FREQ Press. -
Sometimes somebody comes to me
, and asks vhas I Carl Dnnder! l vhas.
Ali right. MIR. Dunder, der peoples OF
GIward call upon you to take dernom.
ination for Alderman. You vhas der
peoples choice. You must put your
self in der handts OF your frendts.
Und says to him:
''Yes, hear der peoples calling in a
voice OF thunder-shust like der rest
OF 'em hear. You and q half dozen
more vhas der peoples. l vhas IN
your handts-to bleed. Wego at her,
spend q tousand dollar, set 'em up
for der poys, bride und buy and shteal
und Islander, und / vhas counted in
und sthand oop und claim to repre-
sent Ger peoples! Oh, no-you can't
play dot racket on mel"
und sometimes somebody comes to
me and says vhas l Carl Dunder? Ivhas.
All right. Say, Mr.. Dunder, vhas q
frendt OF yours, und I like to put you
or a good thing where you can make
ten tousand dollar slick as grease.
Doan' gif me AWAY but l let you in
on der groundt floor. Come oafer in
der corner und whisper in your ear
Und | says to him:
"My dear frendt, vhas too rich al
ready, und 1 don't care to make ten
tousand dollar. 1t vhas my oxperi-
ence in dis worldt dot men who have
a good thing don't part nit him I'M
der 1o0c on der dollar. vhas let in
on der groundt floor OF two or three
enterprises when | vhas younger, und
der first knew l was being let out
through der roof, und didn't take
any ditidends nit me. Ivhas eater
SO mooch obliged to you, but l let
you handle it all und make all der
profits"
IND sometimes some more some
body come to me und says vhas l
Carl Dunder? vhas. All right Mr.
Dunder, vhas in q dispute nit my
neighber aboudt our fence. We vhas
both frendts NIT you. und we vhas
agreed dot you vhas an honest man
who wonla decide dot matter in an
honest vhay. IND says to him:
please pass on! Whichever vhay
! decide | shall make an enemy und
lose q frendt. Der reward of my hon
esty would be an enmity dot might
destroy me. Ii you hat u dispute uDd
efli SNlllS ~ ny toilliiioIl SeiiSt, ~ W
law. 1t vhas der peesness of lawyers
to abuse all parties, und OF judges to
make decisions"
IND maybe it vas der next week
dot some mans comes to me ind says
vhas | Carl Dunder? l vhas. Say,
Mr.. Dunder. dot man next door to me
vhas IL nuisance. He keeps file cats
on his place, und | like to bring him
into law aboudt it. l like to know
vhas dis worldt vhas coming to when
somepody can keep sooch a nuisance
und make me troubles. und l says
to him:
"My frendt, how many dogs hat you
got?"
"Only four"
"und vhas dogs some nuisance to
your neighbour"
81 doan' know und doan' care"
"Ah! dot vhas shust it! What plea
SEES us vhas all right; What pleases der
man next door may be nuisance.
Dot vhas shust der principles most
men go py, und dot vhas how hat OF
us come to hat bristles on our backs.
Kill off your dogs und den ask your
neighbor to shoot his cats. Doan'
you pelievt dot anybody created dis
world for your special use. or dot
der laws und principles which hit one
Will skip der next"
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

The Eight-Horse Power engine and up
right boiler, now in use at the office of the
Western Newspaper Union, in Denver, viii
be sold cheap to make room for heavier ma
chinery. They have been in use less than
three years, and ara in excellent condition.
The engine is one Of Hendey & Meyers
best Address j. ID. Dillenback, Manager
Denver, Colo.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
"Cons,antly Hawking and Spitting..,

THOMAS j. RhsuISG, Esq, s907 Pine Street,
st. Louis, No, writes: ~ was a great sufferer
from catarrh for three years. AT times could
hardly breathe, and was constantly hawking
and splitting, and for the last eight months
could not breathe through the nostrs.
thought nothing could be done for me. Luck
Kennedy. and am now well man. / believe
it to be the only sure remedy for catarrh now
manufactured, end one has only to give it n
fair trial to cxpt ience astounding results and
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
"Untold Agony from Catarrh.,

Prof w. HAusNER, the famous mesmcrist.
1 suffered untold agony from chronic nasal
catarrh., My family physician gave me up
incurable, and said l must die. Ny case was
such bad one that every day, towards sun
set, my voice would become so hoarse l could
barely speak above whisper In the morning
almost strangle me. BY the use of DR.. Sages
Catarrh Remedy, in three months, was IL well
man, and the cure has been permanent
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

1t was an old oriental doctrine that
philosophy comedies that they have purer,
finer, more exalted souls than men. But
they are too often contained in feeble, suf
fering bodies, which hamper and retard
their fnll development. For al those pain
Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" is the best
specific in the world, and is sold under a
positive guarantee that it will do all that is
claimed for it. Price reduced to one dollar.
BY druggists.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

A scisntitiic essay upon the laws of habit,
bp Prof. William James, appeared in the
Popular Science Monthly for February. Ii
based a good moral lesson upon physiology
cal facts Every teacher should understand
it thoroughly and work it into the daily life
of pupils. In it he said: 1.-The great thing
in all education is to make automatic and
habituai as early as possible as many use
full actions as we can and to guard against
the growing into ways that are likely to be
Instantaneous to us, as we should guard
against the plague. The more of the de
tails of our daily life we can hand over t.
the infallible and effortless custody of au-
tOmatism the more our higher powers OF
mind will be set tree for their own proper
work."-Dr. Foote'S Health Monthly.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

At the raising of blood from the lungs. 1t
is one of the very earliest symptoms of con-
sumption, and only shows the healthy eff
forts OF the system to throw off the scrofu-
lOus impurities of the blood which have re-
suited in liberation of the lungs. Dr.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery is Il
positive remedy for consumption at this
stage. If taken faithfully, it viii! cleanse
the blood, heal the ulcers in the lungs, and
build up and renovate the whole SYSTEM
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

Scratches.-J. IL. Shatfer, Madison, Wis,
says: 81 cured horse of the worst case
of scratches that | ever saw with Veterin-
airy Carbolsalve. OF all the remedies |
eyer saw this Is the ''bossg Csc and soc,
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

A wet handkerchief or u cabbage-leaf in
side mans hat in these swetering days
may be pardoned, but the housewife draws
the line when he comes home with brick
in il
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

And now Edgar A. Poe is alleged to
have resumed his literary labors. Per-
the amount of current bad poetry prompted
him tn do it,
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

What beats us is To know how it was pos
sible TO stretch the skin so tightly over q
shad, and yet not have the bones punch
through.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

Old Mother Earth bears testimony to the
fact that the plough and the harrow are
great dentists.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13
A Florida sensation!

Walking advertisements for DR.. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy are the thousands it has
purad
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

When Baby was sick We gave her Castorls,
When she was n Child. she cried for CastOria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castorla,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

If afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it25c.
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

A man takes rcide in saying he has a
mind of his own, and yet when he is angry
he takes pleasure n giving somebody else a
njpca of ii
Crystal River current. [volume] (Crystal, Colo.) 1886-18??, 1887-08-13

The Florida Southern Ry Co. have four
million acres of land suitable for Oranges
Lemons, Pineapr les, Figs, Bananas, Cocoa.
nuts, Peaches, 'lums, Strawberries and
early vegetables for northern markets. Also
timber and grazing lands for sale on credit
Is to $500 per acre. Map. pamphlet, etc.
sent free. Address, NJ. SOLOMON. Gen
N. W. Agt, 232 So. Clark ST. Chicago, IL.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
Doekage Of wheat on Account Of Dirt.

"A dispatch from Duluth says: Railroad
Commissioners Austin, Gibbs and Brecker,
Secretary Warner, Of the commission. and
Chief Inspector James paid a visit to Du-
luth. Their chief oh, lct was in connection
with the complaints about the dockage
here for dirt. They visited tho elevators
and made a thorough investigation, and
express themselves as perfectly satisfied
that the inspectors here are doing
justice TO ali. A prHctieai test vas made
that was certainly convincing. o. K.
Jones, commission a received a car OF
wheat, Car No. 3646, st. Paul, Minneapo-
lis a Manitoba road, which Inspector She
ly@ marked to be locked six pounds per
bushel for ~eleanings. Mr.. Jones declafed
that dockage was simply outrageous and
thought two and "A half or three pounds
sufficient. Thereupon Mr.. Shelly propos-
cd $ test before the commissioners This
was agreed to, and the test was made at
at Elevator ID recently. Before the
first cleaning the car weighed &c.
600 pounds and afterwards 1880
showing Il shrinkage Of 3, 800 pounds. On
the second cleaning the shrinkage was
500 pounds, and the third 160, q total
OF 1880 pounds. The weight Of THE screen.
ings removed after the third cleaning was
3,404 pounds. and OF dirt carried away
SAG. The %shrinkage from the three clean
ings was about TB pounds 10 the bushel,
and the wheat required several more, but
the commissioners said they did not care
to see any more. that was enough. 0ut OF
one car OF wheat from the Ncrthern Pncif
ic, containing 712 bushels, 237k bushels
OF dirt WAS taken out.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16

ny command viii be dedicated to the
great work st home. | regard the Irish
question as the most urgent and most fuli
Of promise OF beneficial results so my
country that / have ever beer engaged in.
/ ought perhaps to add thet viewing the
ieaiottsies prevalent in England tits doubt
81 whether they might not be stimulated
ere i to accept the distinction You offer
me, which is no less signal than undesery-
ed. The first OF these reasons, however,
compels me to decline the most tlattering
proposals / have ever received, ] shall
watch with profound interest the proceed.
ings Of your celebration, when
you shall look back upon a century Of ma
tional advanc ,ment that is without al par
allel in history and look forward to its
probable continuance upon q still larger
scale. That you and your children may
be enabled, by the help OF the Almighty,
TO worthily meet the accumulation Of high
duties and responsibilities proportional
to ever-growing power win be, | am conf
dent, the prayer OF yoar kiasmes here @he
hope, nay believe, that the moral rela-
tions between several portions OF our race
are wisely destined to acquire increasing
harmony and closeness,
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
sharp Shots Of tho army.

The. departments OF the Platte, OF Texas,
Dakota and Missouri we're represented by
teams OF twelve men each at Bslleyue Unit
ed States rifle range, ten miles south Of
Omaha, Neb. Three days were given TO
preliminary practice and four TO eompe-
titions ia known distance, range and Skin
mish practice. Gold medals were awarded
and presented BY Gen. Crook. III the alb
sence Of Gen. Terry, to- Corporal
Peterson. Sergeant Palmer. Sergeant
Mitchell (for beth known distance and
skirnlisb), Private Feeney, Lieut.. MAI
colin, Sergeant Unger, Sergeant Crow, Ser
geant Wood. Sergeant Randall. CORPORAL
Kelly. naFrivate Miller. OF these for
tunatc marksmen the following were from
the department 81 Dakota:
Sergeant Mitchell, Third infantry. Fort
~ssfssoula. Monte Private Feenex, Filth I'M
fantry, Fort Keogh. Mon; Sergeant Pal
mer, Third infantry, Fort Custer. Montd,
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
omaha land orGer suspenaea.

The following telegram was recently sent
by acting Commissioners Stockslager to the
register and receivers OF the land offices at
Eau Claire and Ashland, Wis.
As the right OF the Chicago, st. Paul,
Minneapolis q Omaha Railroad company
20 indemnity lands will soon he adjusted
by direction of the acting secretary OF the
interior, you will suspend the restoration
Of said lands until further order. This
will apply both to the main line and Bay
field branch. Instructions by mail.
Mr.. Stockiager said that he had issued
this order at the direction OF the secretary
OF the interior, and did notknow the reason
for it's issue. Acting Secretary Muldrow
said:
You know that the indemnity belt along
the main line from Hudson to Superior
was excluded from the order affecting the
0maha's lands, leaving only these lands
along the bayfield, branch affected by the
order. Inasmuch as the matter OF selec-
lion for the main line is now before the
secretary and will be decided in a few days,
] thought it beet to allow the statu quo to
remain until the order covered the whole
line. Another reason for it was the intense
excitement prevailing along the Bayfield,
branch, where an entire misconception oil
our purposes seemed to exist. There have
been a great many different theories set on
foot about these lands, all OF which are
wrong. We thought best under all the cir
cumstances, therefore, to let these lands
remain as they are.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
Not AS / viii.

BlindfoldeG and alone I stand,
With unknown thresholds on each hand;
The darkness deepens as / grope,
Afraid to fear, afraid to hope;
Yet this one thing | learn to know
Each day more surely as / 20,
That doors are opened, ways are made,
Burdens are lifted or are laid
By some great law unsee and sim
Unfathome1 purpose to fulfil,
"Not as I WILL"
Blindfolded and alone / wait;
Loss seems too bitter, gain to late;
Too heavy burdens in the load,
And too few helpers on the road;
And joy Is weak and grief is strong,
n years and days so long, % long
Yet this one thing l learn to know
Each day more surely as I go,
That / am glad the good and III
By changeless law are ordered sslls
mot as I Will e
ssNot as / Will" the sound grows sweet
Each time my lips the words repeat.
Not as / win, the darkness feels
More safe than light when this shought stea
Like whispered voice Is calm and bless
All unrest and all loneliness
mot as | will,'' because the One
Who loved us trst and best has gone
Before us on the road, and still
For us must alI His love fulfil
mot as we WHIP
Hunt Jackson.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
wARm TRIBUTE 70 AMERICA.

Nh. Gladstone, Declines ON Invitation to tho
philadelphia Centennial, and Extols theAmeri'
can Constitution.
Mr.. Gladstone made reply, and assured
the committee OF the great honor he felt
Ia receiving an invitation to the celebra-
ttien 81 tho easSsaafy % Americas consul
tuition. His letter continues:
The attraction Of the invitation is
fenhanced to me hy the circumstance
that l have always regarded that
constitution as the most remark
able knownsto the Modern times to have
been produced by human intellect at a
single stroke. SO to speak. in it's applica-
ton to political affairs. The Invitation.
is accompanied By every accessory that
even American hospitality could devise.
Had I d real o~ptionin the case ! CouaS not
but accept, but ths limitation Of my
strengtn and time, and the incessant pres
sure 81 engagements make NE too we'll
aware that i have none, So far al 1 can
see tho whole small residue oi activity at
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
Such q Charmer.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox. SAYS a friend
will sit down beside a railroad presi-
dent-qHite close to him. IN fact-and
chatter away at him for half an hour
Mt the end Of which time ne will iii ont
an annual pass in her anne and present
it to her. She charms every one Gall
men and nearly all women) who come
in contact with her, and she has a
special faculty for darning stockings.
She has almond eyes. like the Cubans,
brown and bright and though she is
thirty-eight years old and has been d
wife for the past three years, she looks
like q girl fresh from the village school
house. Long and happy may she I've
Colunabus co., Dispatch.
The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-09-16
After Death

@4ANtE4 ~
An old man is still living in one Of
our large cities who has spent half 81
his property il 4 costly monument
which IS to be placed over his grave
via cn he Is dead He has given vast
amount Of time h the preparation %
the inscription 20 be craven on it.
OF himself there will be no mention.
beyond his name and the date of his
death. One side Of the shaft contains
a lesson q system Of phonetic spell
ing which, he has discovered, and the
other is devoted to a brief resume oi
the philosophy which his life has
taught him.
The old man is regarded as insane,
but the idea in itself is reasonable. For
a man to place upon his tombstone the
most helpful work which he has done,
and the highest truth which he has
learned in life, is surely a more fit and
rational Offering to mankind than the
usual laudations of the forgotten dead.
"A wealthy woman in a western city
spent, a few years ago, an immense
sum upon a vault and monument fol-
the reception of her own body. She
had also prepared q costly coffin, q
shroud of satin and rare lace, and every
detail of her last dress. She had writ
ten accurate directions as to her funeral,
and the length Of time which her body
was L be kept before burial, and even
made a list of the pall-bearers.
While making a short journey, she
was killed in o railway collision and
her body was burned to 4 charred mass.
It was buried, with other in~distinguish-
able human fragments, in a common
grave, and rests unmarked.
Yet hers was not the weakness of q
single person. "a man" says Fallom,
lis not likely to make his body his
chief thought for forty or seventy years
and then abandon it after death without
a thought
Men, since the beginning of the
world, have devised plans to protect
their bodies with reyerent care after
death. But Of all the myriads Of be-
loved and honored human remains that
have been hidden in the earth since
time began. there is not n that has
escaped an ig%nominious ruin.
The Egyptians embalmed the re-
mains Of their dead with extraordinary
care, placed she mummies in rocky
tombs, and then hid the tombs. Tnelves
and curiosity-huntcrs have found and
rified the tombs. and put the bodies 81
the mightiest Egyptian kings on exhi-
bition.
The Angel Of Death seems almost to
show a grim humor in hooking the
vain efforts of men to save the body
once so dear to them. 1T is not the
place or time Of my death, but the
manner Of my life. that concerns me, :"
said a holy man Of the old times. "All
places, said Shakespeare, (which the
eye of God doth visit are to the wise
man ports and happy Ravens.
loutb's Contpan5oa