The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-12-31
ENGLAND IN OLD TIMES.
pnrid Kerr in N. Z. Times.

Darid Kerr in N. 7. Times.
That famous Irishman who vowed to
''hang himself or perish in the attempt
would have been quite at home in this i'll
omened place, which fully deserved Its
sinister name two centuries ago, in that en-
lightened age that meted out the same doom
to the starving wretch who had stolen a
penny loaf and to the hardened murderer
who had shed blood like water. In l636
two local criminals were executed here by
sentence of the Dorking Judges Of Assize.
In the following year the number OF hang
ings had increased to five, an improvement
which was doubtless hailed as a gratifying
proof of national progress by those sturdy
Britons of the good old school, who thought
with Hogarth that the two great duties
of righteous man were "to help an honest
fellow in distress and to bring rogue to
the gallows." In fact, the whole code OF
England in the golden days which so many
enthusiasts regret seems to have been on
par with that which is said to have regu-
lated the Puritan army during the final
struggle with Charles l.: "Any officer or
souldier who shall be absent from his aps
pointed post without leave shall surely die.
Any trooper losing his horse or hackney
through neglect, misconduct or gambling,
shall be slain with the sword. Any vic
tualer OBTAINING any souldier to cause him
to err from the way shall be cut off from
his people. Any officer or souldier ne
glecting or disobeying the orders given unto
him shall perish from off the earth. Any
officer or souldier showing himself in any
wise discontented with the quarters allotted
unto him shall be punished with death. ="
And so on through the whole list of possible
offenses.
But this dismal spot is consecrated to
the service of death by another memory
even more gloomy and terrible than this.
Beneath the grass that grows rankly over
it the dust of those who were butchered by
the law mingles with that of the victims
who were mown down by the destroying
sweep of the frightful pestilence which was
then one of the recurring features Of Eng
lish life. Long before the fatal Summer of
1865 had blasted into voiceless and lifeless
desolation the busiest streets Of London,
the shadow of the plague had darkened the
beautiful valley Of Holmesdale from one
end to the other, apd had left (as in Egypt
of old 'tnot house wherein there was not
one dead" The county records chronicle
successive swoops of the destroyer in 1868,
1899, 1908, and 1647; but the most terrible
of all was in 1903, when Gas one may read
in the archives of Dorking) "109 corpses
we're carried forth of the town at one time
and buried in void place without it.
But this tragic gloom does not extend
itself over all the antique records of Holmes
dale, some of which have quiet, uncon-
scious drollery worthy of Robinson Crusoe
himself. Mention is made in 1873 of "a
certain Richard Madderson, aged 20 years,
and not above feet'and inches high, but
in thickness as much as any other person. !"
(Whetber the said "thickness" were mental
or bodily is not atated.) As a countefpoise
to this fractional citizen, two gentlemen of
long standing in every sense Of the word
were discovered here about the same time
by Daniel Defoe: "At this place lived an
ancient gentleman Of very good family,
(Augustine Bellson, Esq with his son.
The father measured "a feet, allowing that
he might have sunk for his age (being Il
years old), and the son measured 2 inches
more than his father" 1t may be hoped
that these two Goliaths were not ultimately
remodeled after the fashion of the giant
grenadier in Hoods poem:
"For, when his regiment went to fight at saragossas
town,
Frenchman thought he looked too tall, and so he
cut him down."
Among the various traditions of Holmes
dale eccentric wills and bequests play a
prominent part. In the archives of Wotton
Church one may still read how William
Glanyille (the nephew of that celebrated
John Evelyn of Wotton) left property for
the payment every year of 4Os. (s1O) to
''five poor boys of the parish of Wotton,
who, with their hands laid upon his grave
stone, should repeat by heart, in a plain
and audible voice, the Lords Prayer, the
Apostles Greed and the Ten Command
ments-should read the fifteenth chapter
of the First Epistle to the Corinthians
and should write in a legible hand two
verses of the same chapter"
The father of this same William Clan
vile, as if determined not to be surpassed
in singularity by his eccentric son, directed
in his will Gas John Evelyn himself tells us
in his famous i!DiaFy'i) that his body
should be wrapped in lead and carried
down to Greenwich, put on board a ship
there, and buried in the sea between Dover
and Calais, about the Goodwin Sands.
This" adds honest John, with sly chuckle,
''oceasioned much discourse, he having no
relation at all to the sea-" Even this queer
funeral, however, was completely outdone
by that which Major Peter Labilliere, Of
the Royal Marines. contrived for himself
here Ia 1900. The whole population Of
Dorking followed his body to its grave on
Box Hill, as well they might, the worthy
Major having given strict orders in his will
that he should be buried head downward
This extraordinary fancy was literally
carried out. A kind of well 10 feet deer
was sunk in the chalk of Box Hill, and the
coffin placed in it, standing on its upper
end, after which the hole was filed in and
stamped down, and the congregation dis
persed. popular rumor explained these
singular proceedings by asserting it to be
Major LabillieFe's firm conviction that tbs
world was one day to tuFp upside down, iH
which case he. being buried head down
ward, would and himself standing in an
erect military attitude, as o British officer
should do, all ready for anything that might
'turn up" Where the good man car
have got hold of such an idea-unless he
borrowed it from aGulliver's Travels, ii
which similar belief is attributed to thu
Lilliputians-it is not easy to say. But
his relations, naturally indignant at re
port which seemed to impugn their respected
kinsman's sanity, stoutly maintained thai
his determination to ''rest in his grave il
the hope of joyful resurrection" standing
on his head was merely delicate compli
ment to his illustrious namesake, St. Pete
the Apostle, whom ecclesiastical tradition
represents as having been cruciaed with hi
head downward.
In this competition of whimsical will
4 Il