The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-02-15
THE FLANEUR.


ION doit touiours hanerl''
1 only returned Saturday morning last,
from visit ito Madame Pele's Dominion,
and will say something about the "gay
time" the boys had, next week.
l took look at the Conundrum Yesterday,
and she appears to be more of conundrum
now than ever-they have yancked the masts
out of her, and suppose the smoke-stack
Will follow soon-preparatory to placing her
in glass case
1 hear it rumored that there is a strong and
voluminous letter received from Samoa. 1t
does not appear by this strong epistle where
the laugh comes in, in fact it don't come
in at all. The Grand Vizier is now investi-
eating. 1t is also rumored the state carriage
will remain here for the present.
I hear that Admiral Grisley feels hard
about that new Grand Admiral's uniform
which has arrived being too large for him
and too small for Admiral Rice. Why,
Grisley, the pants would button up round
your neck, and might choke you. The suit
is for the Grand Admiral, and he will wear
1t and draw the pay, too, and don't you for
get 1t. You had better put on a suit that
viii mt you and keep quiet about it, too.
bad a long talk with leading Kahuna
lately, and he told me they were hHhu IOa.
That after predicting all that Madame Pele
was going to do before she let up, and all
that, the boss Just picked up a scraggy
looking nIHlihiHe, who professed to be able
to foretell everything, aad more too, and he
was now running the machine. =" The Ka-
huna said Pele was hHIH ON hearing that the
Conundrum had been purchased, and direct
ed that the aHuana "biz" be put in opera
ton, and he said '..you bet, we're going to
do it with rush this time-the red fish will
be there too" Says l, ego it old boy, and
don't make any mistake this time.''
had short letter by the Zealandia from
Samoa. Mistletoe is still to the fore. The
impression prevails there that this little
Kingdom is little too "fresh'' in sending
down full-hedged Ambassador to overtop
the Consuls there, and that Hawaii had
better mind lis own affairs and let Samoa do
likewise. Samoa would not object to Uncle
Sam or Johnny Bull sending an Ambassador
however-they could back them up-but the
idea of Hawaii doing so, just makes them
laugh. Now, then, let the Pele be fitted out
forthwith, and sent down there in command
of Admiral Grisley, to bring these untutored
savages to a sense of the duties they owe to
the representative of so great nation as
Hawaii. That's the way to bring them to
their milk.
padding in the mud, and Just looked in at
the Custom House, and got glimpse of the
latest imported official just said, "Oh.
holy Moses Here is a chap right from my
old stamping ground in Chatham street,
New York" Well, sized him up, and con-
cluded he was pretty old rooster to get
away so far from home at his time of life. /
noticed the old chap has little tar on his
whiskers, and that altogether he has a
juvenile appearance, which, honestly, don't
belong to him. hear this old chap is
"sharp"-much more SO than he looks to be
in fact, looks in his case, don't count for a
cent. He is the seventh son of the seventh
son, and can cast your horoscope to perfec-
tion-in fact, has already done so, for some
of the biggest Iniuns ); in the land, and
hear, has little private confabs' - with par
ties IN high places-this will probably ex-
pain how he comes to get the promise of a
/" fat billet" when there are SO many
hungry devils hanging round.
l called Bliffkins' attention to new Order
which has just been started here-The Royal
Order of the Star of Oeeania-and said how
nice it would be to belong to it. 1 showed
Blitf. the whole "biz" in the Government
Bladder, and after looking it through, he
burst out laughing, saying it was too funny
for anything, and asked me to read Article
IL of the Order, which / did lit showed
a list of the "duds" required after one has
Joined this important Order. This list is
away ahead of the postage stamp over the
eye, or the Georgia costume-"a shirt collar
and pair of spurs" "Oh, N.Y." says
Blif. wouldn't old Kalabash the look
green with envy to see one of his descend
ants 'togged' out in this gay style-ignoring
the traditional matO, and the good old ways
of his fathers" Bliff. said the cost of the
suit of clothes alone would burst him, and il
was no use to try. l said knew it was i'm
portant for US to belong to it, and l would
speak to the Grand Vizier to get US in on the
Cheap" Just fancy Bliff in knee breeches
and claw-hammer coat, with a small
cheese-knife hang to his side, and a section
of a water melon ornamented, on his head.
l had long letter by the Zealandia from
my Celestial friend. You Lie, at Christmas
Island, about that opium license racket they
are having down there. He tells me that his
Grand Duke has played - him a dirty
trick, collaring onto about $4,000 of his
money, for which be holds g sheaf" of re-
receipts. He says the Grand Duke got tired
out receiving money, and turned him over to
sleek" looking native whom the Grand
Duke called Kiyi, who took the balance.
Now, You Lie says, the Grand Duke repu-
dates the whole business, after receiving
nearly a trunk-full of shekels. The Grand
Duke, You Lie says, Just told him to 90 to
and whistle for his money, and that if
he did not shut up" he would have him ar
rested for bribery, and put on the reef (they
have reef there, you know. This made
You Lie sick, and he now intends to write to
some big" Chinaman in Washington, who
he thinks will straighten out this crooked -
business of the Grand Duke, There are ru-
mors of war ahead, and you may expect to
hear of fun from that quarter soon. Mean
while, the Grand Duke has purchased an old
ballshoo," and is fitting her out with
quaker guns, manned by lot of young des-
Peradoes, and will send her off on filiibus-
terlng expedition, and God help poor You