The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-07
BRIGHT BITS.

How foolish il is to make fun of the home
made hustle. There Is not girl who makes bel
own hustle but is backed by some of the most
influential papers of the time-St. Paul
Herald.
In you want to put few dollars where they
will do the most good, send poor child into the
country q few Of these days, says an exchange
We have. We have sent two poor children anC
a poor woman, and there is poor man in pros
pect from the size Of the hotel blls.-BoStor
Bulletin.
81 WAS the last man on the field at .Chicka
mauga," said the old soldier, proudly.
That so:" asked the host. Retired like o
wounded lion eh?"
Not exactly that" said the veteran. 1.-THE
fight had been over two weeks before got
there. brooklyn Eagle.
"THIs CAKE" sail the baker, apologetcally
lis made of the best materials, but | can't re
commend it. It's u Sherman boom cake"
What kind Of q cake is that:" inquired the
customer
III u cake that's dough. I made a mistake
and took it out of the oven before it was done
You see it's kind of flat and sad"-ChicagO
Tribune
Is there some quiet little place
Where men deal on the square;
Where women sometimes hold their tongues
And girls won't bang their hair?
II such paradise there be,
Go search the country through,
And if you find it--write at once,
And wen go there p. do.
Solid M,tldoon.
A BAR HARBoR MAN unacquainted with the
modern system of piping houses, went into a
house during the recent hot wave end turned
the faucet to get drink of water He got the
wrong faucet and did not discover his mistake
until he had taken good swallow of hot water.
Dropping his glass in a hurry, he exclaimed:
Great heavens knew it was hot day, but |
didn't think il would heat that water like thatr
-LelUistOn Journal.
I'll. NJ TAI,
all the boys at Silver City and an original char
acter. On one occasion he was drawn jury
to try an acquaintance for horsestealing. On
reaching the jury room he said Boys that
man is not guilty, but do not want to use any
undue influence TO prejudice your judgment l
will take nap; when you arrive at my way OF
thinking wake me up" A verdict was soon
agreed upon.-Je'cehy Ners.
A BosToN Sunday school teacher was endeav-
oring to impress upon the minds of her little
pupils the necessity of good behavior. "You
must be very careful how you act" said she,
for if you act badly you will be punished,
while if you act good you will be rewarded
Now, my .dears, can any one tell me what he
will get if he acts well!''
A bright little fellow. whose father was an
actor, Immediately replied: "Det tailed before
de turtain, dess. Boston Budget.
SMrrH-Well, my boy, how do you like Nan
tasket?
Jones-Oh, its delightful.
Smith-And the folks at the hotel?
Jones-They are very nice, indeed The
ladies are charming. Smith, l believe have
met my fate
Smith-Indeed! l congratulate you. Will |
have chance of seeing this inamorata OF
pours?
Jones-Indeed you SHALL Why, here she is
coming now; let me introduce you.
Smith-No need of it, old fellow; that's my
wife.-BostOn Budget.
FIRST OMAHA MAN (breathlessly)-NI poor
friend the stag party which YOU intended to
have at your residence tonight cannot come
off.
second Omaha Man-Great Caesar! The din.
ing room is chuck full of jugs and bottles and
glasses. Why it isn't twenty four hours since
my wife wrote me she wouldn't be back from
Minnetonla for month.
Your wife? | said nothing about your wife
just came from your part of the town and saw
your house burn down.
'Oh! Is that all! l was afraid my wife had
got home. ''-Onidhd World.