Morning journal and courier., 1887-06-16
SHORT.

Queen Victoria has reigned fifty years and
 is five feet high; that is the long and the
 short of her.-Martha's Vineyard Herald.
 A recently discovered Arabic inscription is
 said to read 'sHez Namuz Dennuz." Dennis
 is good name, but it isn't Arabic.-Bur-
 ington Free Press.
 Since it has been discovered that the
 President fshed for trout with worms it is estimated that he has lost nine votes in this city ya1one.-Philadelphia Call.
 According to an eminent English author- ity goose lives fifty years. Provided, of course, he refrains from blowing out the gas
 when he retires.-Yonkers Statesman.
 The reason that horse trots faster re-
 turning from the grave than when going to
 it is probably because he is hungry and
 wants to get home.-Drake's Magazine.
 Irate parent in the door, to his clerk, who
 is caressing his daughter-'Y Young man, you
 are not hired for that kind of work. :"
 ''Thats so. I'm doing this for nothing."-
 Texas Siftings.
 A young married woman i'll Iowa takes
 long moonlight strolls with the ghost of e
 former lover. No doubt if her husband was
 to be apprised of her action he would say
 ''It's immaterial." You couldn't specter to-
 But gnome matter.-Norristown Herald.
 Things One Would Rather Have Left Un-
 said-She-''No; I can't give you another
 dance. But I'll introduce you to the pret--
 room. I want to dance with yeul'-Punch.
 A Saturday Night Thought. ht.-Husband--- "What are you reading, my dear, that you
 seem So serieuss" Wife-'E Saturday Night
 Thoughts, in this afternoon's paper" Illus band-''By Jeve that reminds me that must order case of beer for tomorrow. ."- Puck
 A doctor believes in huge doses of ab- slnthe as cure for cholera, and advises peo- pie who may perchance be attacked by the deadly complaint, to ''go-aa buster'' on this narcotic This just reminds us that prussic acid rapidly checks measles, gout and dim ness of sight.-Fun. Little boy Louie, one evening watching a severe thunder storm, in which the sheet lightning flashed almost continuously seemed very much interested and entirely unawed Turning to his father, he asked: ''Wha' makes the wind open and shut it's eyes SC fastG"-Youth's Companion.
 Janey. attaining to the delightful promo ton of an evenings Chair brushing witt her grown up young aunties and their visit l or, grew expansive in the relaxing spirit oi | the hour, and in a benevolent burst of conf. l dence imparted the intelligence that "my mamma puts chalk on her face, tool" then grown prudent, added, "wel1, just to keeI ! J t-Harper's Bazaar.
 A few days ago there was small civil suit ! tried before the justice of Pizen Switch. It | is always customary in such cases to have | the winner of the suit pay the fees. The plaintiff, big raw -boned rancher, was called upon to pay the jury of six S2 apiece. He immediately stood up and queried: 'Pay the l jury $12?" "Yes,' replied the court. ''Look- ! a-here, judge, ain't this sorter piling 1t on l thick? just paid four of them fellers $2C I apiece. Do they want the earth, summer ! followed!' The dead silence in the room | was followed by slight snicker from the de l fendant's attorney. The bailiff called every l body to order and the jury filed ont without 1 asking for fees.-Carson (Nev) Appeal. Two mothers sat opposite each othor in { car on Michigan Central train going to To | ledo the other day. Each had baby about year old, and each baby came in for a share of the admiration of the passengers. This seemed to make the mothers jealous, and af ter thinking the matter over for awhile one of them leaned across the aisle and said: q feel it my duty to tell you to go into the cal ahead with your child, as mine has the whooping cough" ''Ohl has ita Thanks fol your kindness, but mine is all over with the l whooping cough and is now coming dowI with the measles. Perhaps you had better go into the car behind. ."-Detroit Free Press A young girl of St. Louis, Mo-,
 As lovely and sweet as ho.,
 Was mortified seau,
 At not having beau,
 That she strung herself up in a bro.