The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-23
THE SEWING MACHINE MAN

| Failing to Trade Win tne Lazy OF INC
House Aven ges Himself on theDog'
Whether justly or not says the Alta Cott-
fornia a very large element Of public
opinion is hostile to the peripatetic canvas
! ser for sewing machines. In some way ne
is regarded as an intolerable nuisance. And
this sentiment is entertained regarding him
despite the fact that he is usually very
polite and affable person. Indeed his AHA
bility is the trait which the community hold
! in the greatest abhorrence Ii is related as
| a veritable fact that there was ones a sew
| ingn chine agent canvassng Northern Call-
| 10 MA who could talk the KAoO ont OF q pine
! tree. Some of his relatives are engaged IN
| business in San Francisco Ihey are
! equally remarkable for their lOquaclous en-
terpriSe. One of these gentlemen presented
himself at a stately residence on Bush street,
intent upon disposing of one Of the most
recent novelties in sewing machines. IL was
| his twelfth appearance that week, and MS
smiling countenance and oily tongue had
| grown monOtonous. SO much SO lndeed
| that the coachman had instructions TO lie in
wait for him attented by his spotted dog.
! The chambermaid met the agent at the door
/ with the information that no sewing ma
chimes were wanted that morning. Indeed,
she remarked that there was death In the
| family and the household was convulsed
with grief 1t world be sinful to dis
| cuss 50 charming a novelty as his
sewing machine under such circumstances.
But my dear" rejoined the enterprising
agent, this is the very time you should
have one You have no idea how useful
sewing maching is at funeral. This one Of
mine is particularly adapted to making
| shrouds for high-toned corpses. Indeed, one
of my customers told me the other day
! that she would rather be without corpse
in h.
chimes. assure you they are Indispensable
at funerals
"But my mistress says she does not want
| it.n
"She evidently did not fully comprehend
the capacity of the machine. Not great
while since a gentleman died in this city,
| and his wife, in her grief, carelessly threw
bolt of linen she had been examining in the
| sewing machine, and went up stairs to have
| her cry. When she returned, an hour or
! two afterward that bolt Of linen had been
| converted into one of the loVelest shrouds
| you ever saw 1t was generally remarked
| at he funeral that the corpse was perfectly
| lovely in it, The wife was so charmed that
| she told me the next day that she really had
not the heart to regret her husbands death
| since he looked so nice in that beautiful
| shroud in his coffin"
This was evidently a facer to the maids
but she Immediately rallied with the re-
mark:
But it is not the husband who is dead
"Lordn' exclaimed the now thorough
| ly excited agent. ''You should see what
this sewing machine can do for dead par
| rot.n
But everything has been arranged al
ready. And besides the mistress believes
that you are the cause of the parrots
death"
me! great heavens; it is impossible"
Eyes, indeed, the parrot was great
talker, and he chatted beautifully all day
long. But when you came yesterday and
described your machine to the MISTRESS and
ratified off the list of its virtues and merits,
the parrot gazed on you in establishment.
| The more you talked the greater his amaze
ment. At last he gave gasp and fell over
in a fit. He never had the heart to raise up
his head again"
The agent looked at the maid with mild
triumph. He could appreciate this tribute
to conversational ability.
us not that man gone yet!' cried the mis-
tress at this juncture from the head of the
stairs.
mo, mum, but he's going," replied the
maid.
rs the coachman ready!" inquired the
mistress.
Eyes num-"
"And the dogF'
| Ready, mum.
"Then send the man away"
The maid slammed the door in his face,
and the agent heaved a sigh as he turned to
go down the gravel walk. But at that mo-
ment aspotted dog darted around the corner
of the house, and mis- angry growl electrified
the feet of the agent He knew the ways
Of dogs under such circumstances. He had
been in many situations similar to this. He
turned and tumbled Ike fox. Occasion
ally the dog would rend piece of his trous-
ers, but the damage was slight. Finally,
as he darted to enc side, the dog made bold
leap at the mans throat He missed his OBJ
jective point, and his savage teeth closed
furiously on the mans cheek. There was
cry of agony, but it was not from the man.
The dog fell over, tooth ripped from his
jaws. In closing upon the steel-clad cheek
of the agent, he had been rendered fangless
The dog went into commissions, but the agent
carried off his cheek with not single bruise
upon it.