The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-01-19
BRIC-A-BRAC.
TO LET.

Oid songs still echo through
The bare, deserted halls.
Yet through all wear and tear
ltS just as good us new;
The buds that blossom there
Are sweet as ever blew.
Who'll take q lifelong lease,
Come fair or stormy weather,
Where love shall reign and peace
Now, don't all speak together.
a half-holiday is better than no loaf.
IL bang up airair-A dynamite cartridge.
a secondary mattcr-Thc tick of a clock.
The flour of the family is the latest to
rise.
Tho dentist always goes armed to the
teeth.
a %chanccry court is one in which justice
mas an even chance.
Never strike n man when he is down. Sit
on him and choke him.
a girl may be n good violin player, and
yet not be able to draw n beau.
The locks on Il door arc worn perfectly
plain. 1t is the door that is banged.
Cranbcrrics will euro dyspepsia. That's
sour opinion.
Seems rs if 4 "bank suit shouldb be made
of checked goods.
We propose that the phrase: "Moncy no
object be amended to read: money no
objection"
,''What is the dollar of the daddics?'
asks some one. 1t is, briefly, what the
dudes exist on.
"Auld Lang Syne' is like the Lords
Prayer, everybody thinks he knows it until
he attempts Il second verse.
1 man pDvnr ,,,,ntc 10 1,,,.I> ,.l... a..
lights on his nose; nevertheless he is greatly
ticklcd.
Yes, Elfrida, all things must fade"
All except the railroad fare, which must be
paid.
Joking on facts will frequently part
closer friends than beer and French mus.
tard.
40 man who possesses any legal attain.
mcntS will ever take the will for the
decd"
How do those pretty white leaves that
We're turned over on New Years morning
look now?
The pretty girl behind a calico counter
IN u fashionable dry goods store is a print.
sis of the realm.
Christmas and New Year have the same
effect on Il mans salary that the sun docs
VIZ - ''''h VI Nt.
Tom.G OOlcry-Trying to hit the tom.Cat
win the b%ootiack while he is warbling u
midnight hymn.
1t Is said, on the authority Of n druggist,
That u Iialf,ccntS worth of alocs makes %
cents worth Of pills.
y short horse is soon curricd. but he
must first be caught. The same may I've
said OF n short cashier.
lh some parts of Europe the old supcrsti.
iioGN practice of ringing the church bells in
thunder storms still survives.
Talmagc has been preaching on the 'in.
hu"ncc OF clubs" They are most ~inllucn-
tial, ly the way, when they are trumps.
Bricks that will iloat are now made in
France. Convenient for n man to wear in
his hat when he's half seas over.
Why is i, so difficult for a professional
hc@gIr 10 seek some more reputable livcli.
hood? because he's II mcndicant.
An Indiana girl has been born without a
mouth. She will soon begin to realize that
81" has forgotten something.
When II barber seeks to make himself
Soclablc with II customer in the chair he is
probably "Scraping an acquaintance
One often feels, in view of the small
waist of the period, as if he were putting
out his arm to surround a knitting needle.
y declaration of war-Throwing old tin
cans and other refuse into the n~eighbors'
yardS.
y Piltsburg man has been fined $50 for
keeping a COW. The cow belonged to n
n]cighbor.
God loves Il cheerful givcr,' but the
trouble IS SO many Of us are cheerful over
80 pcsky little.
on are mistaken, reader, if you sup.
pose cats prowl around all night lust TO De
mean, but for amusement.
There's another cracked pitcher" as
The policeman said when he brought down
his IN upon the base ball man.
only n match box remarked Fogg at
the theatre The other night, referring to the
seats where the young lovers sat.
IT is said that ii is almost impossible for
an old maid to learn to play the violin.
she can't get the hang Of the beau.
bismarck speaks, according to n CORES
pondcnt, with marvellous sOrtncss, even
Wien his purpose is to deal hard oratolical
blows.
a Boston woman, by way of experiment,
recently tied II pcdOmctcr TO her chin, and
discovered that she talked thirty three miles
between breakfast and lunch.
IL do think that 10 is really an unlucky
number, said n pert young miss who had
IdSt entered her teens. at is too old for
dolls and too young for bcauX."
y Nevada court held that n man who
mas I'VE dollars in his pocket and his board
pad for II week ahead is "a capitalist"
within the meaning of the law.
1t is easier for some men to lug n ten
pound shot Gun for Il whole DIV thronuh