The Washington critic., 1887-03-28
TOPICS OF THE DAY.

During the closing hours Of the late
session, says Colonel Ayres in the
Kansas City Times, the galleries of
both Houses were crowded to reple.
tion, and hundreds were turned away
for lack of accommodation, and thereby
hangs q good joke where mistaken
identity and celebrated name opera.
ted to the advantage of two young Ia.
dies from Kansas. The daughters of
Colonel Manning of Winfield, accom-.
panied by young lady friend from
Ken'as visiting here, vainly endeav.
ored to secure admission 10 the gallery
and finally appealed for aid to General
Frank Fenniken of Clay Centre, the
genial clerk of the Senate Committee
on Public Lands. The General wrote
on card TO the keeper of the gallery
reserved for Senators and their fami.
lies, "Please admit Miss Manning and
friends" and away went the girls hop.
ing and happy. The doorkeepcr read
the card, and supposing Miss Manning
TO be the daughter Of Secretary Man.
ming, ushered them into the diplomatic
gallery and seated them nicely and
comfortably with profusion of obeis.
ance. They did not discover the Sc.
Cret of their success until the door.
keeper boasted about his condecension
to Secretary Manning's daughter.
~
During the late civil war, says cor.
respondent of the Baltimore Sun, Rep.
resentativo Wilson of West Virginia
was private in Company b, Twelfth
Virginia Cavalry, Confederate States
army, and accompanied Jones com.
mand on its raid into Western Virginia
in 1868. In Doddridge County Mr.,
Wilson encountered an old la1y with
strong Union proclivities, who pro-
ceeded to express to him In anything
but elegant language her detestatien of
Confederates In general and Jones
raiders In particular. Thinking she
had exhausted herself, Mr.. Wilson
(who was slight In stature, with
very light hair and moustache) re.
marked that she should not be so hard
on Confederates, whom he extolled as
models of manly beauty and courage.
old lady, and shaking her fist she eX.
claimed: "And l suppose you are
specimen ! Why you are n miniature
Tom Thumb, and your moustache looks
for all the world like 1t had been soaked
in buttermilk daily for the past six
monthsW This had demoralizing
effect on the young cavalryman, and he
beat a retreat.
~
Says the New York TriJuHo': The
aptness of Senator Vest of Missouri,
both in storytelling and in repartee,
has been attested in many word con.
tests. He asked friend, who is Re-
publican, the other day how the stock
market was running. Very slow and
dull" was the reply. 1--WE shall never
have boom In stockS while there is a
Democratic President" Senator Vests
sharp reply was: "Well, l hope then
you will never have BOOM" Then
he added: "But for my part cannot
see what difference 1t makes with stock
gambling and faro banks whether there
Is Republican or Democratic Presi-
dent"
"a short time ago, says Towle in the
Boston Trareller, blear eyed bum,
who had often boasted that "me an1
Cleveland are chums; I've slept with
him often when We lived in Buffalo, "
hit upon racket, which has not only
raised him in the estimation of others,
but has kept the dust out of his throl,
ever since. lie attended the White
House receptions, and he saw that
there was chance to strike au alco.
holiC bonanza, SO to speak. lie went
back 10 his old position in one of the
hotel lobbies and cultivated the ac
quaintance of the strangers. Casually
he told them the old story of inc aud
Cleveland" adding by the way, "a
would take great pleasure in giving you
personal introduction to the Presi
dent" The strangers eyes stuck out
OF course they would esteem II m
honor, etc. Then the worker" re
piled that he would make the arrange
ments. The next reception day hC
headed quite a respectable procession
and asked them into the East Room at
the White House. While there he re
called them with stories about the
Presidents daily life until Mr.. Cleve
land appeared. Being careful to heat
the line, he approached the President
with great etfusiveness, shook hands
and then introduced the strangers by
name. The introductions certainly
looked as though the worker" en-
joyed the Presidents personal acquaint
ance, while, as a matter of fact, Mr.
Cleveland never saw the man before
OF course this little episode raised tn,
worker" high In the estimation of hi
newly.found friends, and for severa
days afterwards he fairly reveled II
their hospitable attentions. 1t is hardly
necessary to add that none of the of
ficials at the Executive Mansion ar
amiliar with these facts. AS soon a
ley learn, some steps will be taken t,
protect visitors from this imposition.
THE ARMY AND NAVY.