The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-07-02
Exchange Gossip.

A great deal OF dissatisfaction lsehpIess'
ed over the new dog law. II Is rather un
reasonable 10 expect man "a pay dollar
tax, then - cents for tag, and they buy n
muzzle for the dog -Utica h,Gette.
Yes, it's dogoned shame, and the best
remedy we know OF would be TO bury the
dog.
Bob Bnrdette launches this advice
"Swaar of on daypo, deepo, deppo, dippo
and deepot and learn TO say station. IL Is
not only English, II psso something rarer than
,hat-it is corr.ct.-E'r
You men are SO lucky fair maiden
said,
Discussing the question Of dress;
you're ne'er burden,d with petticoats
cOrsets or shawls,
Which To us are a source Of stress
Yes, know said the youth, " 10 waiting
had been
| An argument really to seize,
What you've said is all true, yet there Is
one point you miss
| Your pants never bag at the knees
---ChdmpiOH CHy Ttms.
Newspaper bustles are no made al back
nun bers. II Is pretty rough TO think tha
mans best journalistic effort shall he thus
sat upon. Ii brushes ali the glory out oI
the profession, and were II not for the lac
that an editor can feel that he has no
only frightened a lady's mind, hut imprpN
ed her shape, he might throw mp the sponge
and retire from the world of b stle and Z &.
ception,-Er
There are two great m'n out fishing
Grover Cleveland is up in Il A lirondack'
after front, ana Senator John Sherman /!
up in Illinois after suckers. VII.
Note of the Rutland Cuizeg shows VI
among our exchanges this week 1t is
brigh, little four page paper with paten
iusides
Every smart man takes his turn at actin
de fool. De shOrestfoOted boss in d'
worl stumbles ometimes.-ArLdESdo
| Trdceltr.
When some misguided individual rose II
the convention of travelling men at 81
Louis 10 move that the mem bership be lin
tied to the male sex only, the proposition
was voted down with a veil that was hearC
all over town II there is a class of men IL
the world that will stick up for the right
81 tne lhlT SEX, IL Is INC u1NSihS "V"'
Raiamd-O0 Gdaetts.
Daniel Sullivan, of Boston, jumped on
low shed 20 get ball the other evening
and stumbled over two electric light wires
thus completing a circuit, and sending
tremendous current of electricity through
his little BODY. When found he was dead
his clothing was burning, and the flesh II
contact with the wires was burned 10
crisp Er.
The nearest that any New England maj
has come to finding the buried treasure o
Captain Kidd durilg the last two year
happened on Care Cod the other day. The
dug M Jug with eleven cents 10 II. MI
Kidd was probably disturbed before h.
could make it an even shilling
Free Press.
"Do you think you could handle com
mencement ?" asked the city editor
WELL" replied the new reporter, 81 kno,
that alumni is the plural, that in limlne |
chestnut and that to say sweet girl grad
uate' is felony In this State Good,
} replied the pleased msgnate, "you ma
tai e entire of the scholastic departmer
this season. --Bufalo ErpreSz.
Old Lady-"How often does this elev;
tor come down." Elevator Boy" .'etwee
up trips, m .am."
What is the plural of 1.-TWO and half,
/ the collcquial term for 21a per cent bonds
;. inquiries the New York OOmmsrcidL ddoe
ttser. Sir John Lubbock says 1.-TWO and
= halves" Why not two and halls,
g "twrs and half" or "twOS and one" {
e two and halves ?"-Brchaage.
:. This reminds us of the question as to Ii
u plural of tailor's goose. A tailor one
e wrote letter ordering two of them. Fir
" he wrote please send me two No. tai
is or's geese" but he tore that up. Then
/. wrote please send me two No. tailor
t. gooses;' but that didn't seem just Il
n thing, so he tore that up and wrote; "Plea
is send me No. tailor's goose, and sci
3, me another one just like it,
If We notice in an exchange an advertis
IS ment headed: proposals Wanted" v
IL didn't stop to look at the signature, but pI
r. sumo ii comes from SOME elderly Made
/, somewhere.
id The boy stood on the burning deck,
n. When all but he had FLED;
;, And he locked all around, mid the spar
IL that filled the heated atmosphere,
And refused to 60 to bed
at --ErchaRge
u Walking advertisements for DIR. Sag
lu rotorrh Ramnav are the thousands IL L