The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-04-29
BRIGHT BITS.
LOVE in a cottage means simply lifelong
course of plates for two and daily bread for one.
puck

LOVE in cottage means simply a lifelong
course of plates for two and daily bread for one.
Puck.
No, Lo the poor Indian has no ear for brass
music. Have we not heard of his un-toot heard
mind:-Mdrdthoa Independent.
THE man who lives on cake and pie
Will be dyspeptic by and by.
-Boston Courier
He was cynic. of all men
most unlind Suspector;
He hated fun, and so he went
And bought jest protector.
WdstingtOB Critic.
Two newspaper men have purchased IAN en-
tire town i'll California" Some towns in Cali
fornia consist of three saloons, blacksmith
shop and dwelling house, but can't conceive
why two newspaper men should want black
smith Shop.-NoIT'isfOl0n Herald.
PRETTY soon the clerk who has to be excused
of an afternoon because he is too i'll to sit at his
desk at work will be found sitting for three
hours i'll the broiling sun on the hard side of an
unplaned board seat, shouting like a mailman
when his favOrite ball team is getting whipped.
Boston Post.
WHERE the English speak of shop" Ameri-
cans say store, and whore the former speak
of lifts" we speak of elevators" To be con-
sstent we should henceforth refrain from re-
ferring to the piclIers up of uncOnsdered trifies
as ''shoplifters," and use instead the more ele-
CANT appellation of store elevators. Boston
Transcript. 1E % 4.s#.
He had taken her to hear Patti at 81 seat,
and afterward to DelmOnico'S, where the two
together ate up 50 rs worth. AS he reached for
his hat later that same night she said: Il am
sorry, Mr. Sampson, if my refusal will cause
you PAIN mt esteem you highly as an escort,
and in tAat capacity | will a1Sdysibe a sister to
you, but your wife l cannot be- You are too
extravagant. "-Helc YOFh; SIN.
mo GEORGE" she said firmly, but gently, 81
cannot be your wife Father is old and feeble
bac ho6 pn ffa
for him but me. If it were otherwise she
went on in a lower, softer, sweeter tone, land [
were free to listen tO-but ah, no. she finished
with a sigh; ''it cannot bet cannot ber'
What's the matter with waiting dear?'
responded George, with infinite tenderness and
hope; perhaps the old man may skip soon. =
Puck
On the door of Partisan tobacco shop is the
legend, "Gentlemep are requested not to smoke
inside the shop which reminds us of a similar
sign in an apothecary shop where cigars are
sold. "WhaEdo you sell cigars for asked a
customer IF you do not allow buyers to smoke
but for all that, you'd scarcely expect me to
permit purchasers to utilize my establishment
as bathroom Boston transcript.
ARCHpEAcoN K+RKBY, i'm recent account of
his lifelong experiences as a missionary among
the Indians in British Columbia, remarked upon
the extreme difficulty of making them compre-
bend the simplest scriptural teachings, and
Illustrated it by saying that he gave a series of
lessons on each Of the commandments separate
ly to Q class Of young Alaskan braves. He
dwelt especially upon the principle involved in
the sixth commandment, explaining to them
clearly what murder meant, and what a dread
full crime it was in the eyes of God and man
TO test their comprehension of what he had
said he then asked all those in the class who
had committed murder to stand up Only three
arose. He was very much surprised as he knew
they had all been on the war path repeatedly,
and boasted of their scalps. He went carefully
over the explanation once more, and again asked
them to arise. The same three came to their
feet. Why, surely" he said in despair, this
can s DE al that nave committed murder.
After moments reflection "Wil all those who
have tomahawked their mother-in-law please
stand up:" Nineteen arose. Editors DralceT
IN Hdrper's Magazine for M0y