The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-10-23

Learned Doctor chairman of distin-
guished physicians convention) Wed
better not open the session just yet. Many
members have not come in
Secretary-I have gone over the list care
fully. The others will not be present to-
day.
"Eh? What's the matter with them?'
"Sick. Omaha World.
81 wonder if that story is true about st.
Patrick driving all the snakes out of Ire
land?" said Mr.. Iwishem to his wife, as
she put another wet towel on his head.
81 don't know. Why do you ask?"
because don't know whether to go TO
Ireland or sign the pledge. Washington
Critic.
Omaha Dame--I see you prefer being
an old mans darling to a young mans
slave. Young Widow---Yes; my husband
was very kind to the day of his death.
''He left you, understand, over s., OOO,-
000." Eyes" "What do you intend to
do with yourself now, dear?" "Well, I'm
thinking of becoming young mans
slave. "---Omaha World. -. ..
First Omaha Authorize, L have not
written line this summer. / can't settle
on plot .eu.tr .'t....
Second Omaha Author---That's easy
enough. My last novel is simply Bible
story modernized and embellshed.
''But people will discover the theft"
at is to he published in Chicago. "---
Omaha World. .-..
whats all this racket" asked a
travelling man rs he got of the train in
Philadelphia. r.l "a
They're celebrating the signing Of the
United States constitution"
"Why, that happened hundred years
ago." ,li.a.-,
Eyes" ..;. .r...
"And they are just getting on 10 III Well,
II that ain Philadelphia all over. Wash
ington Critic. -aalys -..t..
Young Mr.. Shocks had very bad head
ache and pretty Mrs. Shocks was reading
TO him. Presently she stopped and looked
very much annoyed. "What is the mat
ter?' asked Snooks. "There's n swear
word in here, or what was intended for a
swear word, and won't read III" pouted
Mrs. Shocks. "Let's see" said Shocks.
lie took the book and read, ''The prisoner
looked ut her in blank astonishmcnt. -
Burlington Free Press.
Darling" he muttered hoaisely, 81 re-
formed for your sake because you asked
me ] have forsworn the saloon and lis
pleasures. Still you avoid me and keep
me at distance" ..,
81 am sure Charlie, You were quite he.
roic in doing 80 much for me.
Then why 10 you draw haughtily
away from mo2' ..
Because l can't bear the smell Of
cloves. Lincoln Journal.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak.-Y have truly an
electric touch.
Miss Fussanieather (at the piano oh,
sir, you ilatter me. ~" ..f
"But its true"
"What makes You think so?"
"Why, ! read the other DAY that cleo
tricity would always put u piano out Of
tune" ...tr ...
She fingered the keyboard no more that
evening. -..Y onkers Statesman.
Fist Tramp-llello, Jim, where have
you been 80 long, #s..
Second Tramp In KanSas City.
"What doin'Y'
"Visitin' the mayor and other big bugs.
Had a bully time.' ......
81 sh'd say so. How did you git in with
them" ..
81 told 'em Id trnmpcd all over the
world, and Kansas City was bigger'n Lon.
don an Paris put together Omaha
World. .t. ~.
Anarchistic Field Mouse Did YOU tell
that bull We wanted This field to our.
| selves?
Anarhis,ic Chipmunk Yes, / made q
/ speech that ought TO settle him.
did he say he'd 90 aWay2'
"He didn't say anything hut he must
have been pretty well scared lie gave
an awful below and started ON run 10.
| ward the fence" .|
Can he got over the ience?"
Hes trying 10. | guess he wants 10
ask that woman in the red shawl 10 hclp
| him. Omaha World D.,
Omaha Elitor-Whats that surprises
/ you ~?
Wile-A most remarkable thing in this
/ paper. II Snys that the widow Of an cd.
it0r In Shawnee. o., still conducts the IN.
per, and says that her husbands spirit
still directs her.
Great Scott Are editors never TO have
rcsi?"-Omaha World.
Tho Prcssas Man SLAYER 'pcopIc who
arc connected with the press do no, live
/ long said the professor "The continued
mental and physical effort is very wearing,
and man breaks down sooner or laicr.h
Yes, that's true. had brother who
adopted the press ~ a profession and IL
killed him the first day"
Indeed How could that occur7s
why, he fell inlo Il. II was a hay
press, you see. u Lincoln Journal.
III arm crypt tlrniiiy aruund her waist
TIL n pin DESTROYED HI gicu.
Aud thr madden Faid, With never y blush,
"l'yc pinned InyoncCilsn ia the,