Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-07-30
IN THE WATER OFFICE


And the WaseR TakRa
DIALOGUES OVER THE RAn-roIks WHO no M,
UNDERSTAND WHY THEIR Fills ARE fscxxAsxp-
NAN VINO KEPT sHoP AND NOT A sroRr-rur
DIFFERENCE BErwEkS A BASEMENT AND A sroEy.
When STAR reporter entered the water once
to-day he found crowd OF people OF both sexeS
oil ages nauonalities and conditions OF life, ranged
In line beside the long desk which faces the door
Back OF the desk, In the once. the CLERKS were
rushing 70 and fro. examining huge volumes cail-
Ing out the names OF streets and numbers q
houses orposting each other upon the rateA a
tired looking lot OF men they were. From early In
the morning there had been no visible decrease IN
the crowd OF people, who had come IN compliance
with notice by the District Commissioners to
get their wHter BILLS A fast % one man dropped
out OF the line his place Was promptly nliod by
another quite as anxious his predecessor 20 get
his bill In advance OF those around him, and who
had probably been waiting their turn for many
minutes The poor clerks had no rest: their faces
were covered with great beads Of perspi.
sna m seso SoA their and hair eu n~ ssa
their voices weak and weary rro%
replying 70 the hundreds of questions put to them
looking as II on the verge OF madness and OF .
mind 70 Jump upon and ANONYMOUSLY slaughter
their innocent questioner, they generally retained
which Is Distinguishing Characteristic Of water
ONCE clerks.
STOPPING TO ARGUE IT.
While the work or distributing the bills gener.
ally proceeds with remarkable activity, n IL often
delayed by people who viii stand and argue about
the unjust increase OF their rents until the face a
the patient clerk reflects his murderous thoughta
and he winds up the argument by telling them
the bill must be paid, else the water Will be shut
on. This has the effect OF enraging the water
taker, and when he realizes that IL Is useless 20
threaten the clerk. who Is merely doing his duty,
he departs, leaving trail behind him OF imprs.
cations upon the District government In general
and the water ONCE In particular. The majority
OF the complaints are made by persons who keep
little shops or stores which have never before
owing TO some carelessness In the EXAMINATIONS
preliminary 20 the assessment, been charged. Az
rule, such persons fail 20 comprehend that be
cause they have not before had 70 pay the water
rent on their shop or store is no reason why &c
should not be done now. But IL Is nevertheless q
great hardship In many cases widows and others
makers doing business on q very small scale. and
many others. feeling the severity OF the tax which
strips them OF what Is really 20 them large por:
tney are disposed TO Indignantly resist what sp-
pears 10 them TO be an Imposition is not TO Be
spigot In the small store or shop and I'm fact no
more water used by the proprietor because OF tn
existence.
his STORE WAS SHOP.
while the reporter was standing In the line
large, squarely-built man entered the once. He
was dressed In blue jean trousers a white coat
and vest, and white shirt which from the sire
OF It's collar had the appearance OF q '.slumber
rope" Inc lower part OF his face was covered by
heavy oiack beard, above which O pair OF coal
olack eyes tSinkled below great expanse OF fore
mead His hose was OF the pugnacious type
Down his forehead rolled drops Of persplraon
covered II. one hand held a bright red handker-
chiei with which he mOpped the drops as they
reacheu his oushy eyebrows and hung suspended
for moaent. In his other hand he held ais water
bill Approaching the desk and showing aside
Those VINO stood In front OF him, he looked
ominously at one or the clerks and then hailed
him In voice SO loud 10 draw the attention OF
all 10 him:
"How's dot?' be exclaimed, pointing At the bill
Mhat?" lmpatiently responded the tired clerk
"Dot, replied Heavy-whskers sticking q dirty
iorennger at the figures denoting the amount due
slows dor you sharge me eight dollars und Q
hat, ven las year IL wos only tree thirty" AS hO
spoke the tones or his voice Increased I'm pitch and
force, and he breathed like a man who comes 20
the surface OF the water for the last time before
drowning.
The clerk snatched the bill from Heavy -whiskerS
hand, and, glancing quickly at II, handed IL back
with the information that he was charged s5 extra
for store.
.,sshore:' yelled the man, giving his body con-
yulsiye twist which sent the Precipitation from bis
around him 18th Re spp spesssa nag
shoemaker. hal leeved dere feerteah year und
was sharged meier. don can see 'ow you can
90 dot now. Eh?" As he said this he looked
SIONu VIII lllt All Vi U mau W no
has uttered a statement which cannot In reason
be contradicted.
Again the clerk replied in accents which indi.
Gated profound Indifference 10 his arguments:
''That makes no difference. You may have used
the water nfty years and never paid a cent for Il
That's not your fault nor mine. All know is that
on the books you are charged for a store, ana the
bill was made out accordingly. You must pay it,
This was 10 Heavy-whiskers like the flutter1nRs
OF a RED rag N the face OF bull He was speech.
less with rage for a moment. Then, waving the
bill on high, and convulsively hopping HIS lore
head with his handkerchief, he said: II don pay.
shtore tell him he Iiel Yahi He lie! I haze
Elm shoemaker shop. II aind a shtore. I go be.
lore der Conneeshnersu nd complain dot you sheat
Inc, Will" He turned abruptly from the doak
and made a bse-line for the door, muttering and
sputtering as he went. But the clerk whom he
accused OF 'sheating' him had long before turned
his attention 10 another equally unique individual
who wanted his water bill
Is A BASEMENT A STORY.
He was small man. about nifty or sixty years
old. He wore a pair or old-fashioned trousers
strapped over faded calico shirt. His face was
like parchment. cracked and wrinkled by age ana
hard Labor. His chin Was covered by bristly
stubbe OF beard. IL took several minutes for him
To explain what he wanted and for what house he
wished bill. But by dint OF clever questioning
the clerk secured the desired Information. The
bill was handed 10 the man, and hauling from his
rear pocket old spectacle case he took out OF &c
s 81 fha a a b b nne On ms nos
until he reached the amount charged for the rent
This he read over ana over again, II he did NOT
quite understand what 1t meant, and then he
hailed clerk
'.See here, me frind. Will We fayvor me wild an
explanashun ay this payper? Oi don't understand
it
The clerk responded TO his appeal as soon as he
had finished with another customer, and, examin.
ing the BILL he said that the bill was made out for
a three-Story house.
''That amt moy bill" replied the coatleu inds-
v1duaL
"Isn't your house No. % Blank street," asked
the clerk.
"Yis," was the reply; .but 1t amt three sthor1ea
OF hev only two sthories an basemint."
"rhats all right" said the clerk, "where the
basement is used for domestic purposes It u
charged as a story. This bill is all right"
"Oi say II amt all right Oi don't know what
We name Dol dumistic porpoises;' an olive only
two sthortes an pasemint. an oi won't pay for
three sthories, nayther" he Indignantly replied
squaring himself up TO the desk.
Don't You live In the basement, and don't you
have water there?" asked the clerk as rapidly as
he could, and surveying the crowd OF anxious ones
behind who were Impatient at the delay.
'Oi do. But that basement aint a sthorey It's
two fate undher ground, an DIVE niver paid for it
before now" commended the man.
"Well, you Will have 10 pay IL now" said the
clerk. turning to another Questioner.
So IL continues all day long. At first it was
quite amusing, and the clerks laughed and joSed
about the queer characters that came before
them; but now, as the time draws near when the
delivery Will stop, and the people are crowding In
before IL is too late, the clerks are not inclined 20
regard their work as a laughing matter, but
rather go about 1t as II continually 'ured"
Az the Door.
At the Beloved's door timid knock was heard
And voice came from wthin swee'er thSn the mofn-
Softer than silver drops from spsshing fountains fall