davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
The Oriental Jews.

Before tho Crimcan War tho Jews were
afraid To venture into Syria, aud suffered
from great disadvantages under Moslcm
rule: but since British protection has
been extended To them, they have begun
to increase so rapidly as 10 threaten in
time TO become masters Of Palestine.
They have almost closed tho gates Of
Jerusalem 20 the native peasantry by
establishing outposts ON the main roads.
where they buy nj enormous discount
the produce Of the country, which they
retail 10 the citizens at profit Of q 100
per cent. They have instituted n mon
etery currency OF their own, in the form
Of dirty fragments Of paper, with He
brew inscriptions, promising 10 pay tlio
sums OF from one 10 four pennies In
Turkish coin. These diminitive bank
notes they have forced the peasantry to
accept. and they will rarely redeem them
except at discount. The Oriental jew
Is not lovablo character. To those who
know the refinement aud education
which exists among European Jews, or
who have been acquainted with the truo
jewish arIstocracy which II 20 be found
among the old families Of spain aud Mo
rocco, IL - hard 10 believe that the Ash-
kenazin can be the same rs.co with the
Sepharliu. The distinction of charac.
ter IA broad rs that Of physical appear
aiIce aud costume. The tall. llaeK-
bearded Spanish jew, with his aquiline
features, his large brown eyes, his dow-
ing robes, and the black turban which
Hakem imposed on the race nine centu-
ries ago, Is the very opposite Of tho
dwarfish Pharisee from Poland or Ger
many, with his greasy " iove-lOeks," his
dirty garbadine. white stockings. aud
furry caP--his face wizened and greedy.
his gait eringing and subservient, his
religious ideas confined TO the senseless
repetitiOns 81 Taimudic ordinances. and
his soul filed only with the desire of
money. Those who know the Ashkena-
zin best, have but one opinion Of their
Ignorance. fanaticism, selfshness and
immortality; and The tales which circu-
late among men quite free from any anti.
Jewish prejudice. concerning the flthi-
ness 81 tho domestic habit "a the Oriental
jew, viii not bear repetition OF even
ailusion. 10 IL with such specimens of
the ancient people that the four holy
cities of Palestine are becoming rapidly
hlled, while the richer sad nOiilor jews
OF Western Europe appear - take, a.
yet, little interest IN the home "a their
t0refatheIs. -HiackwoogFs Hagasi5ge.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
Humorous.

In high spiriis-a summer ther.
mome'er.
The refined lard manuficsurer
has trying time Of IL.
The quickest way to rise in the
world IS to go up in a balloon.
There Is only one season in the
year for the kangaroo-spring.
The longer man lives the more
he knows about what he doesn't
know.
a girl may be like sugar FOR two
reasons. She may he sweet, and
she may be full Of grit.
The susceptible youth IS like the
mosquito. There is little hope for
him after he gets mashed.
q half-grown shark is said 20 be
good eating. The full grown Is
admitted to be a good eater.
a postage stamps like a youngs-
ter. IL always sticks TO business
after ithas been thoroughly licked.
Order is heavens first law. 4"
says Pope, and the restaurant keep.
er thinks it ought to be tho custom.
ers too.
When does a lady treat man
like telcscopei When she draws
him out, looks him through and then
shuts him up.
Another cu,e for consumption
has been discovered. As the dis
covery was made in Vienna. the
consumption meant is perhaps lhat
Of beer
Don't call very large. strong sin
cwy man prcvaricaiOr n YOU
are sure be Is q prcvaricator hire
another man tO break the news to
him
lf through the success OF tbe
agitation Tor The womcns RIGHTS
women ever come to SIC Zoo the lnr,
box, infants Will probably &c. To- bc
cficr, in the court
y lady who advertised for Girl
to DO light house work. rcccived
letter from au applicant. who said
her health demanded sea air. and
asked where the lighthouse was
situated.
- farmer says: One thing
don't like about city iolks-thev be
either 50 stuck up that yer can't
reach 'em with a haystack pole or
SO blamed friendly that they forget
90 pay their b0lrd
There's some cloud resting on
Squlnder Every time ! meet him
hc is gloomier Than before lie
must owe lot of money" ,Thaf
isn't what troubles him. through
Its because he can'towc any more
Says mother. "One dav j
found Alice. q little black.eved
beauty, sitting a,lridc my bedpost
gazing with delight al her image i'm
the mirror. / asked why She look
ed ia the glass She frankly said
Cause Ike the looks Of ne ~
- tell yOu, tlis e hine pc
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01

One Sunday. at Montgomery. We werJ
talking about dueis. and gsheu tiis names
a several partics pho hal gone 0ut ia
past years ~ satisfy their honor were
mentioned, The Judge knocked the ashes
on his cigar snd sqid
Genilem0n. % may be mentioned
right here thst l have been there nay.
self
We're son chaiiengedF"
was. it vas over in south Caro-
lima, and 4 called q usn q liar. H. seat
rue a chSlleuse. aud I selected swor.ls -
The weapons. We met 90 O'Clock tha
next morning. IL was inst such a morn.
ing a. this--bnght beautiful. aud fan
Of hfe.
and how did you feel ?"
Very queer / shall never forget
my sensations as I saw my rival. and hs
seemed ~ o. as visibly affected. We
cOuldu't either 0ne oi vs. say q worl
Nas % iu q groveg
on, no 10 was at iho depot"
The depot WHY. v6a ala ros
hight % the depot did you
Wen, 90. TIE morning express
trains passed there ai 2. and l.s taot one
aud 1 the other. "- Dsi-o8 Free Prcfs.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01

ncdy. the eastern wire chief
came TO the desk. He said: "Hcrc's :
bull that beats them all. 1t hap
pencd in n special that passed
through this office, and was pcrpc.
tratcd by first.class operator.
How's this:
Guaranteed for ,S hams.
when IL was corrected il read:
Ouarantined for IS hours.
Here's another that caused con.
siderable trouble TO the messen
ger boys hunting for an unknown
hrm. The telegram came for Juligc
X Erson, and il took the delivery
department whole day To discover
that the message was for Judge
Anderson"
ne reporter next visited the Office
of the United Press, where Man.
agcr Martin was busy with his cable
dispatches, but not too busy TO en-.
te:tain Journalist. DO know
any good bullsin he rctortcd To the
question, "Iia, ha, | should say |
did-thousands of them, but really
| can call to mind hu, few A gen.
ueman by the name of Downer,
who five or six years AGO was man.
ager of the Western Union here. is
responsible for the one that have
laughed over many time. He
was working Washington wire.
and received a message that he ad.
dressed as follows:
Commodore Shufeldt, Brooklyn
nasty yard.
That's pretty clever for navy
yard, isn't it' Jerry Borst, one of
our old timers, now dead, was proud
of a bull that he made once. Ii was
during the war, and business was
rushing. The address as he took il
was:
Gen. Bagentcry.
Two days afterwards it was
found to mean:
Gen. Bag, Agt. Erie Ry.
Jerry always chucklcd over the
fact thati took two days TO find his
General Bagentery. An operator
in Cincinnati was sending a graphic
description of n st. Patrick's Day
parade. He had the Hibcrnian as.
sociation marching along with
VIII tc plugs waving in the air
The Herald was most outrageously
taken in last January by plug OF
an operator who received special
from Montreal during the carnival.
The Xerdid came out with a big
head line:
The Ioeking Enthroned,
''lt should have been;
The Ice King Enthroncd.
"All through the dispach, where.
ever the operator could work in that
'Yoeking he did it, and it was
printed that way"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
How To Flirt with Gloves.

For Yes" drop one glove from
the right hand into the left hand.
"No," is said by rolling both gloves
in the right hand If you want to
express that you arc Indifferent 20
a partner, Gas most girls do. take
the right-hand glove partly oil. If
YOU wish man to follow YOU into
the next room, strike your left arm
with both gloves. al love YOU still F"
is indicated by slowly and carefully
smoothing both gloves If the fair
one desires TO know " neither her af.
ieetion is reeiproca,cd she is To put
on halfof the hft-hand >glovc, one
finger at time. "IIc on your guard
against the governor" or mother
in-law,' as the case may bc, is
message often sent, and is given by
delicately twisting the glove finger
around the thumb. IL the damscl
is in quarrelsome mode, She simply
makes a cross with both her gloves
and proceeds TO lay them on her lap
IN this position. These are the
principal and most simple rules.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
NUMBER AZ.

child's play remarked Blobson.
as he tipped up.the hottie of bait !,
,mpaled ABOUT pint of it. Fish
have a secret or two, and don't YOU
forget 1t. y That may be- respond
ed Dumpsey, "but il / am not
mistaken we shall worm it out of
them"
NO, Bobby" said his mother,
~onc piece OF pie is quite enough
Tor you" Its funny responded
Bobby" with an injured air. "l-ou
say you arc anxious that | should
learn TO cat properly, and yet YOU
Won't give INC a chance TO prac-
ticc." I"
TAKE a GOOD DRAL LEss.
look at this watch for twenty dolIarsir
The plocard In the window read.
\ tramp started in and said,
~ funny oncri Why. sakes alive.
III look at ~ all day ornvcr'
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
TELEGRAPHIC BULLS.
Funny ISlunders of Careless or
Stupid Operators.
jood bye, Nir. Wilson.
New YORK Evening sun.

New YORK Evening sun.
While visiting Mr.. Alpin Of the
Associated Press, up near the clouds
in the top Of the Western Union
building, a journalist was regalcd
with some laughable teiegraphic
bulls stored up ia his memory.
You must remember" said Mr..
Alpin, "that telegraph operator.
no matter how expert he may be.
becomes in time sort Of machine.
] mean that in sitting long hours at
his inttrument listening % the
mOnoiOnous tick OF bis souuder he
becomes deaf % reason and allows
what comes in 1is ears 60 ooze out
OF his pen without taking accurate
cognizance Of what De IS writing
They perpetratc bulls that ~ their
waking senses they know 10 be
wrong. Here's one that caused
considerable CONSERVATION On an up
town family As the operator ne
cciyed IL, IL read
Unclcan Gus died 10 day.
IL should have read.
Uncle Angus died to-day
Another one that Is so ridiculous
ihatit is worth printing. The mess.
age as received read.
jags is not 100.
There is not an item OF sense iu
that and the party % whom the
message was sent came back with e
monumental kick. The message
was corrected 90 read.
James is not well.
The different characters used in
the Morse code will read. II written
rs the ear catches them, either way.
so you see il was machine work
with az operator who was either
too tired 70 use his judgment, OF by
one who was not expert in the bus.
incss.
~ this instant Nj Tloma. Ken
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
Select Poetry.
A DrcaI,,.

n Dream.
IN tell YOU dream had last night.
That Is, " you care TO hear
About IT. he said; "you1l think II is quite
Absurd, twas SO very quecr.p
do tell me, really am fond of dreams.
Although have very few:
dream very often warning SEEMS
She said; was IL all about yous"
Well, hardly upon me were bent
All eyes, but haughtily carried
My head quite high. for 1 dreamt wen,
Down the aisle off church To be married
The weddiI g-march pealod out clear and
loud
And fiowers sweet and rare,
Low trampled by the curious crowd,
With perfume filled the air.
There shyly walking by my side.
The sweetest girl knew,
Was soon TO be my own dear bride:
How queer, that girl was you,"
"Mos" and her eyes so bright and clear,
She siyly veiled from view;
81 don't think it so very queer,
You know some dreams come true"
L Boston Budget.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01

lroduct OF an assessment III all
pay.
Deduct S75 for probable lapscs
each assessment leaves $1,000 ms
the net proceeds of an .assessmcnt.
Due beneficiary ~ 900, leaving 5000
for the reserve fund Beginning
with 1000 each holding $1,000
certificate we find at the end OF ten
years that 40 lhavc died and 7,o
have lapses, leaving 100 of the orig.
inal 1000 members to whom we owe
$500 each, in I'LL $685. Obtain.
ing 5000 for the reserve fund from
each assessment in ten years from
lso assessments, we have $4,000
which beng increased by interest
viii IN ten years amount TO more
than 100000 sufficient to pay every
maturcd certificate; however. should
this fund fall short the association
has the right to assess for the re.
serve fund, thus making payment
certain in every case.
Well truly, Mr. Wiley YOU have
presented this matter very clearly
and | will make my application at
once; but first would like for YOU
to explain the operation, duties, oh.
ject and mission of these local boards
which by the papers | sec you have
recently been organizing.
Yes sir, | will; by the board sys-
tenn ] find that we getthe best class
members who take deep inter.
est in the welfare OF the ASSOCIATION
and guard and protect its best in
tcrcsts. The local board is intended
to perform substantially all the
functions of the principals office
Death claims are paid and loans
made to members upon the recon
mendation of the local board and
ssch investigation of them rs would
seem necessary to be made by the
principal office is made by the
board. With the growth of the As.
sociation the fund to be loaned in.
creascs and il is the purpose of the
managers TO cquitably distribute the
loans among the respective boards.
a citizen OF your county desiring a
loan, first becomes a member of the
association and then files with the
Secretary ofthc Board his applica
ton TO- the loan submitting a min
ute description Of the security which
! propose to give. His application
is then considered in its order and
granted from any monies in hand
belonging TO the reserve fund
through the local board. Members
pay their dues and assessments di.
rect 10 the Secretary of the Board
and receive from them the proper
official receipt thus saving any cx.
pense of rcmitting by draft or mon
ey order
Indeed, Mr.. Wiley, this arrange.
ment is certainly highly satisfactory
and 1t suits me exactly. You can
now proceed to fill up my applica
ton.
Thank sou. ] wish to here state
in addition TO the foregoinz that we
have an excellent local board in
Buckhannon and Weston and a
good number in Braxton county
which / desire To organize into q
local board at Sutton soon. We
have large membership in Jackson
county and many other localities
are well represented. The officers
and directors are among the bcst
business men OF the State, and we
hope during the present year tc
largely increase the membership.
hope you will bc successful. Mr.
Wiley, and thanking you kindly foI
the full exaplanation you have Civ
en- me, ! will now bid you "good
bye
Good bye, Mr.. Wilson.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
Ihs nrln.h ,rn.snn.. NM

The books ia the British museum ar,
bound ou principle. historical works
being in rel theological in blue. psefic,l
in yellow, natural history in ercen ne
side thisi each part % n volume IL stamped
win q mark by which &c can be aisiin.
euished as museum property and of diE
teteht coiors. Thus, rel indicates that a
book was purchased. blue thai it caine IA,
copyright. and yellow that it was pse
seated --bcsiou Mefall.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01
CEREDO WAYNE co, w. NA. THURsDAY sEPTEMBER / lss7

month or ut the rate of six per am
num- Tins therefore amounts to
S36 ayear and So annual dties, which
am required to contribute every
year toward the expense fund, max.
ing Si2 year as the probable cost
OF Keeping in force my membership
IN the Ohio and West Virginia Mu-
tual Aid Association, in addition TO
which l also have $50 wear TO pay
as interest on the loan of$l 900 with
which purchase my home, making
IN all SlO2, which / now pay instead
OF $50, my former rent Up TO
this point we allow the advantages
OF the building and loan associations
to be equal to ours. But now comes
the superiority of our plan. Life is
uncertain, | may die any dav, and
1t were to die soon after Joining a
building association would gain
nothing; all that would be paid NV
wife would be simply the dues /
had paid in: but not so in the Ohio
and West Virginia Upon presen.
tation and approval of proofs of my
death and the surrender Of my Ger.
tihcates OF membership she receives
my deed of trust and note for 81 900
cash, thus securing at once both a
home for her and our little ones free
from debt or incumbrance and one
thousand dollars besides, To- help
her and them through the struggles
of life. But this is not all. II |
live ten wears the association owes
ST 900, with which cancel my note
and deed Of trust, having secured
my home worth one thousand dol.
lars by the payment as rem: of only
SlO2 per anuum.
Well indeed, Mr.. Wiley, your
phins and benefits are excellent,
please explain the workings fully
and estimated cost per annum.
Yes sir, | will. that's just what /
am paid for doing aud take pleas
ure in performing my duty TO the
best of my ability, and especially
does it afford me increased pleasure
to present the claims of the Ohio
and West Virginia Mutual Aid AS.
sociatior TO the citizens OF this STATE,
particularly to those who manifest
as YOU do, SO earnest desire TO un
dcis,and its benefits and mission.
Here is a card which the association
furnishes. 1t contains couciscly the
plan, cost, etc, which can be com.
pretended at glance:
81, 900 at Death; lxf 900 In Ten
Years.
paid 10 members on surrender OF certificate.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-09-01

We estimate that the probable
cost Of membership will average an
assessment mOHNiy during the
period of Zen years. To this amount
add dues IS per annum and So ad.
mission fee, and YOU have the total
estimated cost Of membership ex.
cept the medical examiners fee,
usually 81 oo) which must be paid
by the applicant as the association
makes no charge for this purpose.
Then how much would a certili.
cate for $1,000 cost me?
What is your age,
Fifty last birthday
You have just crossed the line
from an assessment rate Of $I.5o 10
e.. You have observed that ihc as.
sessment i graded according TO age
For 5000 your admission fee viii be SEQ
Annual dues, IN advance, SO
Medical examination, 10
Total first cost. 500
In no case will YOU be assessed
until you shall have been a member
80 days. After which time you will
be assessed s. payable go days from
date Of notice. Thirty days notice
is given on all payments required
after the first. At an assessment
monthly your cost, for 81 900, will
be S27 90 annually. and in the event
Of your death before ten years, your
beneficiary will receive one thou.
sand dollars.
But II live ten year, then WHAT
You will draw iu cash 500.
How can this be done when !
only pay $24O as assessments dur.
ing the ten years. Satisfy me on
this point and / viii join your asso.
ciatiOn.
We could not do oit at This rate II
all persons who become members
were to persist in the payment Of
al dues and assessments until death
or expiration II thc time, but many
years Of experience and the com.
pilation Of vast statistics upon the
ratio Of lapses in various kinds ul
Life Insurance companies have fur.
nished US with reliable data upon
which 20 base our calculations. The
per cent Of lapse varies somewhat.
owing 10 q difference in plans. cost.
&c. Placing the rate of mortality
90 ~ per aunum in one thousand
members and six lapscs o. each
death, as our guide, sc arc able to
present the following results. lin q
membership Of 1000 persons from
IS TO 65 years cf age the following
proportions viii exist.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-12-28

necklace worth $4,000. OF course, "don-
nant Dormant" was implied in the pres
ert. Non oletism, fear, was the reasor
why that guano affair Of the Dreyfuses
was SO well pushed at the Eiysee. Old
Vespasian, it occurs to me, was g com
nonsense old man, too, and moderate.
serene, and fond of "sslting away" the
money which his official emoluments and
perqulsites brought him.
The President is lodged rent-free at the
Eiysee, has all the vegetables and fruits
he needs for his table from the kitchen
gardens of the country palaces and green
houses, flowers for his fetes from the city
greenhouses, and squad Of man-servants,
whose liveries, board and wages he does
not find. The state gives him oak logs
to burn. and oil, gas and electricity to
light his palace up with ct night. It
furnishes and washes ali his house
linen, allows him three carriages and
horses, provides him with rich and COM
modious furniture, which it keeps in re-
pair, and it remodled aud reiurnished 8
whole wing of the Elysee for NJ. and
Madame Wilson. Some OF the perquisites
are the faculty TO bestow certain num-
Der of crosses Of the Legion of Honor,
for one Of which (that of simple knight
Blanc of Monaco paid $4,000. Then there
are the state boxes IN the subsidized
theaters, ard game preserves in the state
forests, with state paid rangers to keep
them.
Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-12-28
DALLAS.
Several Railway Men In Town to Meet
the State immigration Committee
To.Morr0W.
Holiday Visit Suddenly Brought to an
End-Little Girl Burned-A Christmas
Gift to the Orphans' Homo.

Special to the Gazette.
DALLAS, TEX, Dec. 27.-Abe Lewis OF
Weathelford arrived in Dallas dsy or
TWO ego to visit his brother, living four
miles in the country, and to spend the
holidays. Deputy Sheriff Qualls called
on Mr.. Lewis this morning with G capiss
snd arrested him on the charge OF stealing
money. Lewis was wanted at Weather
ford where he will be conveyed to-
morrow.
Simon Thompspn's little girl fell this
morning on red hot stove. The child
threw her hands forward, both coming IN
contact with the RED hot iron, frlghttully
burning them.
The Recorder fined J. II. Young this
morning $50 for kicking Mrs. Smiths
door down. Yourg's reason for so doing
WAS that his wife had left his bed and
board and took lodging in Mrs. Smiths
house. Being refused admittance he
kicked the door down.
The body of Miss Annie Case, who was
burned to death at Wards seminary,
Nashville, Tenn, last Saturday, arrived
IN this city to-day and was inferred.
Some charitable people of Waco sent
he Buckuer Orphans Home $50 yester
Day as Christmas gift.
Several railroad men are in the city, who
will meet the immigration committee on
Thursday. Among them are w. Il. New
man, second vice-president OF the Texas
and Pacific Railroad, and W. R. Johnson,
private secretary.
Chief OF the Fire Department Thomas
Wilkinson was the recipient Of On elegant
album, Dcx OF cigars and erschsum
cigar holder, presented by the men of the
fire department. Colonel Whitehead made
the presentation speech.
Mrs. Carl Sites of Terrell met with
painful accident at the Uoion depot this
morning. The heavy stove door fell upon
her foot, inficting painful wound.