Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-16
BRIGHT BITS.

ONE Of our lady correspondents, who has
Just begun housekeeping, wishes us to inform
her VIII Their or not minced ham comes from
ground hog.-Nts1 HdOeR NetoS.
IMPECUNIoUs LovER-Be mine, Amanda
and you Will be treated like an angel.
Maiden-les, 1 suppose 50. Nothing to eat
amt less to wear. No, thank yuu.-TeodS
Srtin0,.
SHE was decorating her room with pictures,
ana she perched her husbands picture on the
t0pmost nail, then she sat down TO admire her
WORK, and remarked quietly: "Now every
thing Is lovely, and the goose hangs high
TecdS Siftin0S.
JONES (speaklrg to his friend, the editor,
about the death of Brown, the ml'llonaire)-
How much is he worth, | wonderY
Editor taUsent-m ndedI-Nut much. Not
more than quarter of a column at the out
slde.-IeeC YOrk Sun.
THE teacher, a lesson he taught;
Inc preacher, a sermon he praught;
The steafer he stole;
The heller, he hole;
And the screechcr. ne awfully scraught.
..--.-.- II. Q. D dge.
TALNAGE said In his lecture the other light
that "the man VINO can sing ana Won't sing
should be sent 10 Sing Sing"
That would be too severe, 1t is the man
who can't sing and Will sing who should be
sent to Sing sing. P.S.-For 80 years.-N0r-
rtSt 1CR Hepaid. ..
TEACHER-Miss Snnico, please parse the
sentence, "AdoIphus married Caroline"
Nj 1888 Sven, "AdDlphus" is noun. be-
cause 1t Is thename of thing: married" is
conjunction, because 1t joins Adolphus and
Caroline, and "CarOine' is verb, cause it
governs the nOun.-EbchdRge.
A DINER-oUT was carefully feeling his way
home at night, When he unfortunately sum
bied against The circular railing which sur
rounded a statue. After having gone around
1t about seven times, the hope esness of his
situation flashed upon him, and he sank down
IN afAttf rnA daa tn,alr
shrek: 1.-The scoundrels. They've shut me
IN here"'-Ohic F0p Rabusae.
''SAY. Pa" asked sie pride of the house.
hold, after moments reflection, during
which he had inadvertently declined a second
nelp to buckwheat cakes, IF man does what
he ought TO do he does his duty, don't he?"
''Yes, he does, my SON."
"Welf. suppose he don't do what he ought
to do. does he do his dontyn Up to the hour
of going to press the parental answer had not
been given.-HG PEI BGsar.
A COLONEL AGNosTIC. - Aunt Susan.-I
wants yer TO tals TO dis chile, Parson Baxter.
ParsOn Wangdoodle BaXter-Wnat's de
matter wild de chile?
Aunt Susau-I'se afeared ne am gwinter be
an acro-tic. He says be don't believe hit
tuck Jonah free days to swaller de whale.
Parson Baxter-i'se sfesred 1 amt equal
ter dis emergency. Aunt Susan. Dis heah am
a case for Sam JONES' TseaS Strings.
TINE is .-Merchant-The article ia
frst-cla =, madame, and III 81 30 per yard is
very cheap. II we hadn't got four months
time on it--If we hadn't bought IL on credit
we couldn't sell 1t TO you at that price. If
we had paid cash it would cost you - yard
madame.
''Mrs. Yerger-Yes. know it must be
cheaper TO buy on time. My husban, tells
me to purchase ali can get on credit. think
III take sixteen yards and you can charge 1t
TO Col. 1erger.--1ecGs SJtizgs.
FIRST OMAHA MAN-So the youth who
proved himselI such wonderful actor at the
amateur performance ] ct night WAS your
sUnp
Second Omaha Man--Yes. he has genius
for stimulation.
''lt's marvellous. Although he played the
VILLAIN OF the piece he so worked on our SYM
pathies that the audience was mat enough TO
lynch all the rest of the company when his
schemes were defeated in the last act, l sup
pose ne will be great actor some day ?"
NO. intend TO make lawyer of him.
Of,uhu EOJL4.