Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1887-11-11
A Low Price.

trying things to the reverend gentle
mans gravity, when it is made By q
certain class Of men who seem TO have
no original ideas on the subject.
The following incident was related
by q minister's wife, ard occurred in
one of the manufacturing towns of
Massachusetts:
On one of the widest Of mii-winter
nights, about pine o'clock, when we
were just thinking of putting out the
lights and retiring, there came furi-
Gus pull at the bells.
"Who can that be this time of
night ?" said my husband
$50 and see for yourself" | an
swered,
Good evenin', parson, | heard
deep voice utter as the door ope1ed
"Purty powerful storm aout, amt it ?
Guess you wasn't lookin' for callers
sich q night, was you ?"
By this time the parlor door was
opened and there entered tall, gaunt.
lantern-jawed man ofsome forty years
of age, and little idgety woman
wrapped to the eyes in shawls and
wells
They both seemed very much
abashed at my presence and to my
remarks about the weather, and my
questions about the warmth of the
room, whether it was comfortable,
they answered in the merest mono
syllab es.
| succeeded, however, in unwrap-
ping the poor little woman, and the
conversation grew less and less, while
they both sat bashfully side by side,
seeming st loss how to proceed
with their important business.
At last the man twisted himself to
edge of his chair and leaning toward
his companion said:
"Shall tell the person what we
come over here fer, Melindy 2"
Yes, tell him, otcourse," she an
swered.
I'VE are come Toto git married.
You see Melindy an mes been keep
in company goin' on tew years last
Christmas, an she says how as we
might jest as well git married right
away, an she'd do without a trossy.
So | said that right away means to-
night, an so | got the license and
here we be. Melindy air you ready.
old girl ?"
1t did not take many moments to
make them man and wife, and when
the last words Of prayer dropped
from my husbands lips, the newly
made groom crammed one of his
horny hands deep into his pocket, and
pulling out handful of coin asked:
"W hats yer price for sich job?
"Oh, | always leave that matter to
the generosity of the parties concern
ed"
"Well, say, look here (iu an un-
dertone and turning his back to me.
do you think you could git along
with dollar an and half?"
Here Melindy pulled his coat tail
and whispered:
Say dollar an quarter, Sam |!
That is a great plenty"
Then all was silent for five min
utes, iuwhich" Sam Counted out del,
lar and quarter in one, two, three
and five cent pieces, and at my hus.
bands direction, emptied the pile in
10 my lap
| asked them to sit down and get
warm before going home, which they
did
noticed that the bride was breath
ing very heavily, and | asked her if
she had a cold.
Oh, nothin' but the Amy. I've
been half dead with it nigh unto five
year. Sam thinks mebbe if | quit
working in the mill I'll git better of
it think myself bein' married will
be good fer me +"
When they departed Sam told us
where they were to live, and insisted
on Us calling to see them. So one
day when we were driving past their
home l went in moment.
They had been married only six
months, but it seemed to me Melindy
had grown much older and had the
most unhappy air about her conceiv-
abl. As soon as she had greeted me.
she began pouring out her woes into
my ears.
Oh, if I'd a. known what it was he
was bringin' me to, I'd a come to live
with him an to be one of his family.
Why, he told me married life was
Parrydi on earth, SO he did, an |
never knowed as how he'd been mar
ried four times, and had q lot a. young
ems scattered all over creation he was
a-goin' to have me take care of. But
after we had got down to housekeep-
ic' they all came home, and among
'em his sisters two young uns,
| That's one of 'em beating the dishpan
with the poker. He's the strongest
six-year old you ever see. He's beat
everything in the the house TO fln-
ders But the wost OF all is Sam
takes dram now an then, and comes
home so cross an ugly | don't what
to do! An Sally Aup,b by his second
wife, is Il stuck up thing and mocks
ne when | get to wheezin' unusual
An'my agony amt no littler, and be-
side that Pm gettin' a weak back
promised you I'd come to church,
bat such people as | hain't time for
much religion"
Here the six-year old got into trou-
BILE with the cat, which objected to
being pulled from under the stove by
the tail, and Melindy flying to the
rescue | made my escape.
Poor Melndy, with no time for re-
ligion Who could have greater
need for it than just such poor strug-
Cling souls as you?
told the state of affairs to my hus.
band who remarked that be thought
that marriage tie was hardly worth
even a dollar and quarter, at least
to one Of the parties.