The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-05-25
Pith and Point.

IT is the. opinion of Harvard freshman
that the dead languages were killed by
being studied too hard.
A POEM is now going the rounds entitled
How little we know of each other" It
cannot refer to the residents of village.
THE victim in the dentists chair isn't
quite sure whether he's in favor of the long
haul or the short-haul. Phiiddelphid call.
RECENT pictures of Queen Victoria with
her crown on indicate that she has entirely
outgrown the crown or that it always was a
misft.
In the Alps-Gude: eff the ladies will
only stop talking your honor may hear the
roaring of the waterfall across the valley"
-Fliegende Batter
ANY man can go up in balloon with
proper assistance. 1t is the coming down
in the lake, two miles from shore, that is
unique. -Ne,C orleans Picdy,tpe.
A CHINAMAN recently sent the following
telegram to Pacific coast railway official.
&c shippee you two carload hog. No catchee
pass. Whattee matter? All Fook"
ISN'T it queer that when man addresses
you by saying Say" he wants you not to
say anything, but to keep still so that he
can say something hmself?-,JOurpdl of
Education.
Or the six million women in Brazil only
half million can read or write And in
to leave home he locks up his house and
puts his wife in convent until he returns.
ONE of our fishermen says he can be
blindfolded and stand on any part of the
river bank, where he can hear fish lump
in the water, and tell exactly what kind of
fish it is by the noise it makes.-Elnore
| (Aid.) Express.
A RECENT advertisement in Bordeaux
paper ran as follows: Young lady would
accept situation at a railway station. She
speaks English, German and French and
can make sixty sandwiches with half a
pound of butter"
AN agricultural journal tells farmers
How to preserve a grindstone." 1t is a
queer notion. 1t would be almost as hard
| to insert teeth in preserved grindstone as
in some other things the women folk pre-
serve NorriStoCn Herdld
"SIR," said the astonished landlady to a
traveller, after he had just sent his cup
| forward for the seventh time " you must be
very fond of coffee" " Yes, madam, | am"
he replied, " or should never have drank
so much water to get little"
AMONG the attractions of the convict set
| Element of Noumea is an orchestra which is
| said to be the best in Oceania. 1t is COM
| posed of one hundred twenty Instrumental
lists and is conducted by former musician
Of the Paris opera, who is under life SEN
tence to hard labor for murder.
SPINACH is believed to act as stimulant
on the kidneys. Dandeion as a tonic and
laxative. Asparagus as a blood cleaner.
| To tomatoes is attributed special action
on the liver. Beets and turnips are said to
be tonics. The red onion is nervine of
some value in sleeplessness and neuralgia.
Troy Times.
JOHN GLOVER the noted lumberman of
| the Northwest, has phenomenally loud and
shrill voice. A few years ago he was in
4 II. Al.
| did so with much credit to himself. After
it was over Several days after a certain
General Hartman was asked how he liked
| it. "H-m-m-m," said he, Il liked what /
heard of it.. g But, general didn't you
hear all?' "Oh, no. he replied you see
| was twelve miles away when it was de-
| livered."
WELL, 1 shall call and see you to-
morrow, jessie" Thanks. 1 shall be
delighted to have you come, Ella" "And |
shall bring Fido with me" 'Oh! please do
not" "No? Why not?'' Rover is not
receiving, at present. He is in mourning
for brother who was run over by South
Boston car. Poor little fellow. 1t wrings
my heart to have him going around with a
Grape bow around his neck. But the rules
of polite society must be observed, my
dear. '-BOStOn Courier.
A ST. PAUL man has pet dog of which
he is very proud. One evening recently,
w utH lnt Stulltldl was returning nome,
he saw the dog emerge from the shadow of
| a neighbours fence with hen in his mouth.
The dog deposited the fowl in a secluded
spot and then went after the house-cat,
which it seized by the neck and dragged to
the feast Without going through the
| formaity of asking grace, the dog tore the
chicken to pieces and helped the cat to
some of the choicest scraps.-.St. Paul
Pioneer Press
NoRTHERNERs who wish to visit Florida
next winter will have an opportunity of
doing without any expense for car-fare
from New York. When a new hotel, which
! is nearly completed, is opened to the public
next January the proprietor will adopt a
novel method of filling it with northern
guests. Tickets for the round-trip will be
sold in New York, the purchaser agreeing
to remain at the hotel for ten days. A
| coupon will be attached to the ticket. which
the tourist on his return to New York can
present at the Office where he purchased his
ticket and receive back the money paid
for it.
AT the funeral services of the late Colonel
Winchester on Sunday afternoon Mrs
Winchester administered well-deserved
rebuke to the officiating clergyman. The
Rev Dr. WheeZer had just remarked in the
course of his sermon that the colonel was
the fourth husband buried by that lady
when the sorrowing widow dried her tears
for moment and drew a large black-snake
| WIND lTOu Dtllnu lut SOFA anu STRUCK UDt
reverend gentleman over the head several
times. She was assisted back to the sofa
when she again wept bitterly. 1t seems
that the colonel was only her third hus-
band.-Erchdnge.
PHYSICIANS have discovered that ice-water
is deadly, aside from the fact that it chills
and paralyzes the stomach Disease germs
lie dormant in their ice palaces ready to be
thawed into vigorous activity that they may
prey upon the human vitals Bacteria by
the million, sufficient to infect a whole
country with typhoid fever or other dread
full maladies, have been found in a chunk
of ice not larger than the little silver the
ice man leaves before the family door each
morning. Medical science is making ex-
stence a fearful thing, The only article
that may be safely taken into the stomach
is medicine, and not even that without first
consulting physician.
THE Boston Journal Of Education prints
the following composition" in the form
of letter written to her teacher, by girl
who is now pupil in one of the best taught
schools in that city: would like to tell
you what hav learned about the luminous
the COW is a Domestic animal and the cow
has four stumaChs the COW is a domestic or
tame animal. The cows eyes are made so
that they can see back of themselves as well
as forward and Sideways. the cow is found
in every Country. The cows horns are
made out of buttons and knife handles
The COW chew gress and vegetable. The
cows skin is made out of beef. The cow is