The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-12-01
WILLIAMS EXPERIENCE.
Captured By Political Siren He Starts 0ut
to Purify Politics.


A few weeks ago plain man came to
me and asked me my name. Refreshing
my memory by looking At the mark on
my linen L told him promptly who / was.
Ee said that he had resided in New York
for q long time and felt that the hour had
| now arrived for politics in this city to be
purified Would / assist him IN this
great work? If SO, would l appoint a
trysting place where We could meet and
| tryst. / suggested the holy hush and
quiet Of lower Broadway or the New York
end of the East river bridge ct . O'Clock:
| but he said no, we might be discovered.
So we agreed TO meet at my house.
There be told me that his idea was to run
me for the state senate this fall, not be-
cause he had any political axe to grind.
but because be wanted to see the old
methods widen out, and the will of the
people find true and unfettered expires
| sion.
And, sir" asked, ''what party do
you representa-
II represent those who wish for purity.
those who sigh for the results OF un-
bought suffrages, those who despise old
methods and yearn to hear the unsmOth-
cred voice of the people"
'Then you are Mr.. Vox Populi himself
perhaps"
| NO, I1l udInc IN hdtSiili anu oAA AI
dead earnest. l represent the party OF
purity in New York.
And why did you not bring the party
with you? Then you and / and my wife
and this party you speak of could have
had game of whist together, said J.,
with an air of inimitable drollery.
But he seemed to be shocked by my
trifiing manner, and again asked me to
De his standard-bearer. Finally said,
reluctantly. that 1 would do SO, FOR /
have always said that L would never
shrink from my duty in case / should be,
come the victim of political preferment.
In Wyoming | had several times ac-
cepted the portfolio of justice of the
peace, and so / knew what it was 10 be
called forth by the clamorous appeals Of
my constituents and asked To stand mp
for principle. to buckle on the ariGOr of
true patriotism and with drawn sword
and oVerdrawn salary to battle fDr the
right.
In running for Office in Wyoming our
greatest expense and annoyance arose
from the immense distances we had TO
travel in order to go over one county.
Many q day have travelled during an
exciting canvas from daylight till dark
without meeting a voter. But here was
a senatorial district not larger than a
joint school district, and ] thought that
the expense of making q canvas would
be comparatively small.
That was where | made a mistake. On
the day after Mr.. Lucifer kargill had
entered nv home and with honeyed
words made me believe that New York
had been figuratively speaking, sitting
back on her launches for fifty years wait
ing for Ine TO come along and be a stand
ard-bearer, q man came 10 my house who
said he had heard that / was looking to-
ward the senate. and that he had come
to see me as the representative of Irving
hall. / said / did not care continental
for Irving hall, so far as my own cam
paign was concerned, as | intended to do
all my speaking in the school houses.
He said that did not understand him.
What he wanted to know was, what per-
centage of my gross earnings at Albany
would go into the Irving Hall sinking
fund, provided that organization in
dorsed me? / said that was going into
this campaign TO purify politics, and that
[ would do what was right towards Irving
Hall, in order to be placed in position
where / could get In my work as puri-
fer.
We then had q long talk upon what he
called the needs of the hour. He said
that / would make a good candidate, as
had no past. l was unknown and safe.
Besides. he could see that l had the ele-
ments of success, for / had never eX-
pressed any opinion about any thing and
had never antagonized any of the differ
ent wings of the party by saying any
thing that people had paid any attention
to. He said also that he had learned
had belonged to all the different parties
and SO would be familiar with the meth
DDS of each. He then asked me to sign
, a pledge, and after had done SO he shook
hands with me and went away.
The next day was waited upon by the
treasurer5 of eleven chowder clubs, the
financial secretary of the Shanty Sharp
shooters and Goat Hill volunteers. A
man also came to obtain means for bury
ing a dead friend. i afterwards saw
him doing so to some extent. He was
burying his friend beneath the solemn
shadow Of a heavy mahogany-colOreo
moustache, of which he was the sole pro-
prietor.
was waited upon by delegations from
rammany, the county democracy and
the Jeffersonian Simplicity club. Every
oody seemed to have dropped his own
business in order to wait upon me.
L became pledged to everything on
condition that / should be elected. II
4 makes me SnuQO6r now 10 Inlnk WHAT
; may have signed. | paid forty-odd dol
lars for the privilege of voting for a
beautiful child, and thus lost all influ-
ence with every other parent In the con,
test. / voted for the most popular Young
lady and heard afterwards that she re-
| yarded me only as friend. j had a
biography and portrait of myself printed
in an obscure paper that claimed large
circulation, and the first time the forms
went into the press loose screw fell out
Of the machinery, caught on the fore
head of my portrait and peeled back the
scalp so that it dropped over one eye like
prayer rug hanging out of the WIN low
of Constantinople minaret during
hOuse-oleaning time.
| had paid a boy s; 10 scatter these
/ papers among the neighbOrs. but 1 met
hiun az he came out of the office and
made 1t - if he would put them in the
bosom Of the moaning tide.
Yesterday tried TO find the red-nosed
man who first asked me 10 20 into the
r standard-bearer business in order &c
withdraw my name, but could not find
him in the directory. l therefore take
! this means of saying, AZ / said TO my
assignee last evening, that if a public
, officer be q public bust, might Just al
well bust now and have it over.
Tomorrow / will sell ont my residence
q cane voted to me as the most popular
man in the state; also an assortment oi
political pulls. a little loose in the han
n n