Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-11-12
ABOUT ECCENTRIC cLEReYMES.


ADVCA nSShNA 0HN NAEn - Wk-1~s
Specimens Gathered ~ Hssae and
AbreaA-Whlssield, and Other Minis
tiers Less Celebrated.
From the chicaeo Hessla.
In 1886 Q London minister preached ana printed
sermon entitled IA Most Delectaole Sweet Per-
TUNED Nosegay for GODS Saints TO Smell A.
while one Of his contemporaries delivered himself
Of "a Fan to Drive Away the Flies OF Satan" One
Rev. John Fry had been seriously criticized for
some matter, whereupon he entitled a sermon "A
Pair OF Bellows TO Blow Away the Dust Cast Upon
John Fry and, at the same time, a canon OF So.
fauiR not 10 b outdoue, constructed "a Reapin9-
Hook Wen Tempered for the stubborn Ears OF the
Coming Crop; or, biscuits Baked in the oven Of
Charity. Carefully Conserved Tor the Chickens OF
the Church, the sparrows OF the Spirit, and the
Sweet swallows Of Salvation" Sir Humphrey
Lind was q famous Puritan A Jesuit priest
preached . sermon entitled "a Pair OF Spectacies
LOT sir Humphrey und.s TO which that person
Frederick saunders has gathered with his mul.
ps peSalariises ne IS quite the historian Of the
curious and the quaint. Others have labored in
the same neld, and the current newspapers are
occasiona'ty the recorders OF almost unmatched
.' @SisSeia Tor example. once gave out as hi.
ana inen seens ss mis-
quotation. SAID: mot certain lawyers, but GER
tain lawyer It was wonaerfal that even
DO this, and It would have been perfectly incred-
be had there been more he said, "rhe point living
In the fact that Z number Of Lawyers were In the
him.
saunders tells of q Shrewsbury minister VINO
James from the three texts, "a man sent from God
whose name was john" ~ saw an angel az In the
midst Of Heaven" "James, the servant Of God
Toner named Hardy. The next sunday he preached
from the text, "There is no fool Ike the fool
Rev. DR.. Adams and Rev. DR.. Low were rival
candidates for living. They were both present
on sunday, the one preaching In the morning
Lows text n was Adam where ART III Taou aud IN
the evening his nval announced, 40, mere am II"
When DR.: Mountain was candidate for vacant
bShoprtc he preached before Charles II on the
text: 'If thou hadst faith as grain OF mustard
seed and said unto this mountain. Be thou re-
moved and cast into the midst OF the sea, 1t should
Saunders has story OF DR.. Braden when he was
rector re Of Ethan ~ Kent, who one day preached
ment he announced 1t military subaltern OF the
nelgnboring post was walking up the aisle, snd
II am. Sir al oiicer OF the SsysnteSntS Regiment
OF Foos on recruiting party here"
Everyone has hearN the story Of the Scotch
Of bis discourses on small slips Of paper which he
lald for convenience on the Bole In 'front.' OF him.
one day he was preaching with unusual JUNCTION,
the door. Be Il remembered that anything like
written sermon is still, as always very unpopular
second point snI moopln9 his persprng broW
said: Thirdly my brethren" and looked down
at his paper. trhirdly," he said. after a moment.
say NY But he oonid eet nO fr.
tner Just then OLD Scotch Jennie Geddes rose up
70 pew before him and ssd III I'm nae mis-
WINDOW quarter OF an hour syDe."
Perhaps as ready tact as was ever displayed
eas sone Of
Great He chose TO decide between . number OF
applicants BY the way in which they should de-
them In q sealed envelope as they entered the
pulpit Sunday came, and, after prayer, one Of
the y. kings aides presented the minister with
He held up one side and said: "My brethren, here
is nothing" Then, holding up the other side, he
God created ali shinss"Mand proceeded 70 Selser
magnificent discourse on the power and wonders
Of creation. He obtained the appointment, and
held IL through his lifetime.
There Is story OF a certain bishop who preached
sermon In Lent from the text, "A flesh Is grass.
the next day he met his coacnman in the garden,
who approached and wanted 10 ask a Question.
Terrence "dld fairly understand your lordship 70
s,s las! so Be
tic II you doubt It." s'Whist," says Terrence,
''niver bit Of a doubt, but was only askin' your
a mali piece Of bare By wa OF a saladf" As an
genealogical curiosity the following may serve as
conspicuous example:
preach extempore against intoxication. He there.
upon TOOK as bis text the word "MaIt," which he
treated as follows:
"My text cannot be divided into sentences, for
there is none; nor into words for there Is but one
therefore divide into letters and snail treat IL
A-m0rally; A-allegoricaly; L--lterally; T.
theolOgically. The IMMORAL, Is TO teach you good
MANNERS, therefore, NJ, my masters: A, all OF you
where one thing Is spoken OF and another meant.
The thing spoken OF is malt; the thing meant is
the spirit Of malt, which becomes N, your meat;
A. your apparel; L, your liberty, and T. your trust.
according to the effects it work; NJ, murde in
some; A, adultery In others; L, looseness OF life
II Is 10 be doubted II q more effective temper
ance sermon could be preached, though OF most
careful and deliberate Preparation II is related
Of the late Bishop Whitehouse, OF Chicago. that,
hearing once sermon from a very opinionated,
but sadly deficient clergyman, he was asked by
the preacher now he liked 1t. He said: There
was one very nne passage:" Eyes. said the de-
passage, y said the bishop. IRON the pulpit when
you had finished"
A leading minister of New York was preaching
from the text "ThOu are weighed In the balance
noyed by people leaving the church during his
sermon, and finally stopped and said, "1hat 5
right, brethren, as rast as you are weished pass
out" Tue exodus stopped.
that may well be commended 10 all preachers. A
noJed bishop asked nun how II was that wAIle the
actor could easily sway his audiences by mere
fiction, bis congregation Was 80 drowsy and mat
II recte falsehood as II ft were truth, while you
preach truth as II It were falsenood." The answer
hides In IL great cause OF what the preachers In
the.r discussions cali "the loss OF power in the
pulpit"