Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-06-11
CHAPTER XVI.

jess did not have very happy time of it
at Pretoria previous to the outbreak of hos
tilities. Most people who have made great
moral effort, and after severe mental strug-
gle entered on the drear path of self sacrifice,
have experienced the reaction that will fol
low as certainly as the night follows the day.
1t is one thing to renounce the light, to stand
in the full glow of the setting beams of our
imperial joy and chant out our farewell, and
quite another to live alone i'll the darkness.
For little while memory may support us,
but memory grows faint. On every side is
the thick, cherries spall and the stiffness
through which no sound comes We are
alone, quite alone, cut off from the fellow
ship of the day, uiseeing and unseen More
especially is this so when our dungeon is of
our own making, and we ourselves have shot
its bolts There is natural night that comes
to all, and in its unwavering Course swallows
every hope and fear, forever and forever. To
this we can more easily resign ourselves, for
we recognize the universal lot and how our
selves beneath the all effacing hand. The
earth does not pine when the daylight passes
from its peaks; it only sleeps.
But jess had buried herself, and she knew
it, There was no absolute need for her to
have resigned her affection to her sister; she
had done SO of her own will, ANA at times she
naturally enough regretted it, Self denial is
stern faced angel If only we hold him fast
and wrestle with him long enough he will
speak us soft words of happy sound, just as
if we wait long enough in the darkness of the
night, stars will come TO share our loneliness.
Still this is one of those things that time hide;
from us and only reveals at his own pleasure
and so far as jess was concerned, his pleasure
was not yet. Outwardly, however, she
showed no sign of her distress and of the pas
sion which was eating at her heart. She wa,
pale and silent, it is true, but then she had al
ways been remarkable for her pallor and
silence. Only she gave up her singing.
And SO the weeks went on, drearily enough
for the poor girl, who was doing what Other
people did-eating and drinking, riding anc
going to parties like the rest of the Pretoris
world, till at last she began to think that shs
had better be going home again, lest sht
should wear out her welcome. And yet sht
dreaded to do so, mindful of her daily prayer
to be delivered from temptation. As to whnt
was going On at Mooifontein she was in al
most complete ignorance. Bessie wrote Il
her. of course, and so did her uncle once Oh
twice, but they did not tell her much of what
she wanted to know Bessies letters WERE il
is true, full of illusions of what Capt Me
was doing, hut she did not go beyond that
Her reticence, however. told her observan
sister more than her words. Why was she 81
reticenta No doubt because things still hung
in the balance. And then she would think o.
what it all meant for her, and now AMI agai1
give way to an outburst of passionate ieal
ousy, which would have been painful enough
70 wisrsrs Il nnsbedp eould have hssn thsr'
! 70 so ~
And - ils sl.,..s sssi.. q, s'FssA si.itisssss