The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-06-02
Seasonable Smiles.

The last chance -Wife-'D Dear, 1
wish you would invite young Prof. Y.
some day. thear he is 80 absent.
minded; perhaps he will take our
Cecilia. German Paper.
Miss Cockett-Yellow roses are sup
posed to Indicate flirtatiousness, and
moss roses 1i1eail love, do they not,
Mr.. Neversmile?
Mr.. Neversmile-so Pm toldj and
white roses mean silence.
Miss C6ckett-Well; what do thesS
large cabbage roses and Jacks NEAR?
MIR. Neversmile- Bankruptcy, Miss
Cockett-bankruptcy every time
Harper's Bazaar.
His Scalp Was All There.-Old gen.
tlenan-Here, sir! you are q regular
fraud. My hairs coming out as bad
as ever: This stuff isn't worth a con.
tinental.
BARBER didn't promise that it
would keep your hair from coming
out. said it would preserve your
scalp. Your scalp's all there, isn't it?
-Harper's Bazaar.
Man Is ~ per cent water, and yet
! the prohibitionists are not satisfied.
Life.
Physical training for girls must 20.
A girl in Boston discovered that &
months work in agympasium increas-
ed the size OF glove, and she quit train
ing faster than YOU could drop a hat;
Toronto Globe:
There is very general call for the
board OF visitors on the Andover
heretics to pass in a verdict. The
eternal DEGREES III Providence will not
be affected, but curiosity will be salts
ied.-Lowell Courier.
Among the flowers that bloom iii
the spring, due praise should be given
to the shad rOes.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
The only thing which will cure a girl
who wants to 90 on the stage and be.
come an actress is to be run over by
u freight train loaded with railroad
iron.-Detroit Free Press.
AT the Opera-''Why do you make
that knot in your handkerchief" ooh,
so that l shan't forget the charming
me:ody."- Paper.
An oysterman, whose saloon used to
be on Main street, says IA Philadelphia
journal, was the slOwest man in the
State. One day he died, and soon
after a fisherman said to Erastus, the
oysteman's son: "Erastus, your fa-
Their died rather sudden, didn't hep"
! "Weli, yes," said Erastns, Sudden
for him. "-Exchange.
"say, Jack, hadn't we better give
up our seats to the ladies?"
"Not much, old chappie; I've had to
give up my seat at the theater since
they took to wearing high hats, and
I'm going to hango to my seat in the
cars till the fashion changes. Life.
""Mother. have l got any children?'
asked little Johnny Fizzletop. "Why,
no, child; what put that into your
head?" ''Iou read in the bible about
children's children. That's what put
it into my head" -Texas Slftings.
"Say, Mariap' exclaimed Mr..
Blobson the other day, II move We
suspend the long-haul clause"
"What do you R,ean2" demanded
Mrs. Blobson. .
II mean," said Mr.. Blobson, "that
instead of pushing the baby carriage
around four blocks we try one block
for awhile. Otherwise, shall be oblig.
ID to raise the rates of Transportation"
Burlington Free press.
At u negro wedding in this city a
short time ago, when the words Glove,
honor and obey" were reached the
groom interrupted the preacher and
said: Read that again, Sab; read it
wunce no. SOS de lady kin ketch de
full solemhity of do meanin,' Use beet
married ."-Griflin (Ga.) News.