The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-01-11

mediately made search for poor Bliffkins,
who was nowhere to be seen. Finally saw
a hand sticking up in a mud hole, and soon
we had the poor boy on :e,ra fJ7na-but
what looking Blifkins he was We took
him to pool of clear water hard by-pleuty
of water there-and gave him bath. When
we got him cleaned off bit, the blood was
streaming down his face, his nose all bunged
up. beautiful Fourth of July under one
eye, and otherwise badly demoralized. Blif-
kins, after splitting out handful of mud
and broken teeth, found the use of his
tongue and gave me piece of his mind, say
ing l had made an attempt on his life in
taking him into Liliha street, and that if any
one again ever asked him to ride through that
street again, he would Just "go for him" with
a shot gun. | tried to argue the point with
Bllhklns, but 1t was no use-he Just thought
l wanted to break his neck or l never would
have taken him into that devilish street full
of ruts and holes. If you want TO stir Bliff-
klns up IN hurry, Just say "Hurrah for LII
liha street, and then get out of the way In
lively manner, or you may imagine that you
have been getting of HAIRLESS" joke, and
be treated in a Hairless manner by a
"Hartless" and infurated Bliffkins.
I have not been able to get round much
lately owing TO the mud-have not seen any
of the boys. / had an engagement with Bliff-
kins, and we foolishly went out on little
time one evening. and it vas lucky We got
back with whole skins. We dropped in to see
Blifkins' uucle-nice, jovial old chap and he
insisted on our STAYING and having ''suthin,"
which we did. Well, Bliff and ! started for
home again, and here our troubles began. l
wanted to be the pilot, because knew where
all the street lamps we're located, but Bliff-
kins insisted on being the conductor. saying
he knew more about the town than l did.
gave way to Bliffkins' superior knowledge.
Blifkins led off. and we walked up one street
and down another, in the dark, and then re-
versed the motion. and kept right on walk
ing. Says |, "BliffkinS, where are you going?"
Home" says ne. | said "No, you are on the
road to Waikiki! Where are the street lights?'
"iIhe lights, said Blifklns, "are regular in
their habils and retire early" Here Bliffkins
stubbed his toe and fell into a beautiful, soft
spot, and went over him in the most artistic
manner, landing in the same hole. After
little houndering We waded out onto the land
| found out, by the feel of the mud, where we
we're. Where do you think we were? You
don't know. Ell? Why, right down on the Es-
planade. / SAYS, "Hurrah, Bliffkins, we're
safem Just then l;liffkins commenced song
which woke up the policeman on the beat,
and he attempted to surround Us with his lit
tie baton. Here Bliffkins made flank move
ment and capsized the guardian of the night
into the mud, and we decamped in the dark
ness-no lights-aw, thanks.
lost the run of my friend Bliffkins and
thought might light on him at the Court
House, and sure enough there sat Bliffkins as
large as life listening to a case before the
Court, III which a kanaka was charged with
stealing SI1.50. The kanaka was convicted,
Notwithstanding the eloquence OF his native
counsel, who completely exhausted himself
and his vocabulary in defense of his client
assuring the Court of the entire innocence of
the prisoner at the bar-indeed it was only a
loan for q short time (say 10 or 20 years.,
and that II would be all right in the long run.
The Court did not see it in that light. and
was abou. to address the jury, when his honor
was interrupted by the counsel asking him
to instruct the jury to dismiss the case for
the reason that the money stolen was in ka
lakaua dollars, which were ir0Jih only So cents
each. This last ingenious effort in the shape
of a forlorn hope to extricate his client from
the clutches of the law proved a dead failure,
and excited a smile of derision on the bland
faces of the gentlemen comprising the bar.
Just gave Blifkins poke in the ribs, and we
adjourned to the open air to have a good
hearty laugh without fear of being "yanked''
for contempt. You ought to have heard
Bliffkins, after we had our laugh out on the
grass, speak or that lawyer as the smartest
and cutest chap he had struck-knocked the
San Francisco "shysters'' sky high. "Oh,"
says Blifkins, didn't he work for his man
like hero. and after all the Judge Just
'socked' it to him all the same" Says l,
"Bliff, if You get into trouble here, Joe's
your man, he will pull you through if your
suspenders don't give out" FLANEUR.