Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-06-04

TIE man without enemies may not
be much Of a man, but he has 8 soft
/ time Of it.
THE small boy learning the alphabet
| Is very much Ike the postage-s
he often gets stuck on a letter.
IT is a question whether it is better
I TO be foolish than wise. The fool Is
merely laughed at; the wise man is
criticised--BOstOn Courier.
@WHY is a small boy like a woman ?"
said New Hartford man to his trou-
/ blesOme wife. There was no response.
~Because he viii make a man grown,
| said the cOnundrumist.
MORE than {, 200, 900 umbrellas were
manufactured In this country last year.
/ We don't ask what has become of this
vast number, but we would ike to know
where three Of them went tO.-E6-
change.
THE man who was born with a silver
spoon IN his mouth is now looking
about for something to eat with the
| spOOn.-LOtCeH Citizen. Let him try
a New England doughnUt. If he swal-
lows that first the spoon viii go down
more easily.
OMAHA chambermaid-aW Wait, Mary,
1t isn't time to lock up the house yet.
/ Miss EtheIs young man is in the par
| Tor" Omaha He's gone,
Sarah" -Did you hear the front door
shut?" @NO, but the parlOr gas is
turned up again. Omaha World.
THERE was a missionary concert at q
Rockland church and among other
things was long paper on missionary
work by u young lady. When she had
| finished, the leader of the meeting said,
I'VE will now sing Hallelujah, it's
done" Whereat every body smiled.
Il CAN say one thing in favor of this
good boy" remarked MIR. Birchem,
proudly patting his favOrite pupil on
the summit of his Uranium: He never
takes the last piece of bread and butter
on the plate" "NO, indeed, sir, cor
daily asserted the fool of the school
| "He amt quick enOughl"
COAL-DEALER-Wh John? Dri-
ver-He staid up to Mr.. Browns.
Coal dealer-Why on earth did he do
that? Doesn't he know we're short
handed? Driver-I suppose he does,
sir, but he said he was weighed in with
his load, and he had an idea he be-
! longed to Mr.. BroWn.-HaTpeT' ia
ear.
FATHER Ito family physician -"Isn't
! George Sampson a relative of yours,
Doctor" Family physician Yes, he
! is a nephew" Father-"He wants my
daughter Clara, but I gave him to IN
derstand that she wouldn't get any of
my money until after my death -"
Family physician-"That was right.
George was asking about your health
to-day. "-HaTpeT's Bazaar.
THERE was an old man lived up in
the mountains for many years. The
village people close by all knew him,
as they thought, Intimately. One day
he came into the village looking very
! sad. They asked him what was the
matter. WAL" he said, Il do feel
/ kinder sad. " What has happened 2"
@I've been to a funeral" "A funeral
| Whose was it2 Some relative 2" WAL,
/ you might call it so. It was she that
were my wife. And that was the first
| they knew that he had ever been mar
ried.-SGlI Francisco Chronicle.
OMAHA man-"So you belong to the
/ noted SOrosis Society,"" New York
MISSILES, was one Of the original
members" Let me see. It's twenty
years now since that society was start
/ ed" "Dear me, so it Is; but you
must not forget that the original mem
bers were infants when It began. "
@Infantsl Really, I have an idea II
was an independent movement Of some
sort" 90, it was. You see, its forma-
ton was the result of a rebellion on
the part Of the girl babies who didn't
want to be weaned. - Omaha World.
A veteran. Mr.. George McKona, Ash
burnham, Mass, writes: 1'While suffer
ing with chronic rheumatism (result Of
Andersonville) used st. Jacobs Oil
which gave immediate relief" Sold by
Druggists and Dealers.