Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-02-10
DRUGGISTS ORDERS.

DRUGGISTS ORDERS.
Curious Mistakes in Names Made by Applicants
for Medicines-Some Examples of Phonetic
Spelling
Boston Herald.
A Cambridge druggist has made prac-
tice for some years of saving in scrap
book some of the most peculiar orders
which he receives.
ssWe are asked for some rather strange
things" he said to the writer, "but we can
generally guess what is wanted. Many
people expect druggist to prescribe for
their ailments, as it saves physicians
charges, and the diagnoses of complaints
which come to US are often amusing.
Look at these: Send me some of the
essence you put people to sleep with when
you cut their fingers off,. That evident
ly means ether. 4 want something to
take tobacco out of my mouth Of
course the scent of tobacco was the thing
objected to. Send me baby's top to a
nursing BOTTLE means, without doubt, a
nursing bottle top. An ounce of your
smelling stuff that goes through the
BRAIN describes very well the effect of
inhaling ammonia. Something for
sore baby's eye is not easy to mistake
though stated rather oddly. Here is
a startling order for enough ipecac to
throw up girl 3 years DID, could not
help sympathizing with this person, who
asks for 'enongh aniseseed to take the
twist out of a dose of senna.' Here is a
request for a plaster for man kilt with
Stitches Perhaps the one who wrote
this order for something for caustic
| woman built better than he knew. Here
is an order for something for heavy
pain in the bones that is coming out
through the eyes. The person who wrote
for something to take mans breath
away did not intend murder or suicide,
but merely wished for Cardamom seed or
something of that nature. l sent this
lady iniment who asked for something
to rub her old man with Not a bad
description of a poultice is the order for
enough haxseed to make pudding for
a sore toe This child, who had an i'm
preston on his heart and a cough that is
choking him in the neck ought to have
been taken to a doctor, as we'll as this
other one who, his mother wrote was
'heaving up and down and every way
Here.is request for something to knock
q cold out of an old woman. The next
one seems to be in hard condition. She
desires something for woman who has
bad cough aud cannot cough No drug
gist would hesitate for a minute to fill
| this order: Something, I forgot the
name but it is for cure Our own
preparation will just fill the bill in such
case. But what should we send for a
swelled woman's foot "a man with dry
spit on him. and woman whose appe-
| tite is loose on herr?
| ."We get used to the phona site spelIer.'
pursued the druggist and ere very seldom
unable to arrive at fair conclusion of
what is wanted, even by the blindest
writer's. Here are order for penny garick,
parry garlic, and paddy garrack, which pro-
cured paregoric in every case. These
oders for barnaget, weymouth, and bug
mint were filled with bergamot; these re-
quests for come earback, gum mare back,
garmariback, comearaback, and ram back
called for gum arabic; these asking for
camfer and campfire meant camphor;
wolf me fuge and barmafuge meant YER
mifuge, of course; where our customers
have called for epicot, metics, epicack,
apricot, and epicat we have delivered
ipecacacuanha; the persons who wrote
for honey quintom, blew ONT, Annie
Quintom, and Ann Grintom got ungueno-
UNI, otherwise called blue ointment; cr-
ders for lodnum, lad mum, and lord warm
we fill with laudnum; for balm of city we
sent spermaceth, those who wanted high
stirrups got hive syrup; this fellow who
wrote for paint killer received painkiller;
| knew that bubben whisky meant bour-
bon whisky, that air root meant arrow
| root, and that bitter Alice meant bitter
aloes. I sent Arabian balsom instead of
hole 70 &c
Innate instead of gross of supplements
| to that one, and the cherry pectcral in
stead of cherry pickerel to this other.
substituted strip of squills in these or
| ders for sharp squil and strip of swill,
sent Ayers pills TO this man who asks for
ear pill, Epson salts to one who wrote for
lapson salt, and some cubebs insterd of
cupids to the other. Not having any
glory farm on hand, I took the liberty of
| filling this order with chloroform; and
being out of fack seed and fack sed, I
sent faxseed in that one.
"When got these orders for OK sled
acid and horrid lime / sent oxalic acid
and chlorate of lime. This man asks
| for McCordin seed, this one for carman
seed, and this one for colored man seeds,
| but 1 gave cardamon seeds to each. Many
| orders come in where one syllable is mis-
| taken for conjunction, as churrup and
quill for sirup and squills; check and
berry, for checkerberry; gold and thread,
for golden thread, spit and turkletine,
for spirits of turpentine; balm and gill
cad, for balm ofsGilead; hope and dIldock,
for opodeldoc. People who wish for borax
write for boerracks, bowrux, bow rax,
| and bow wax. We get orders for Arnolds'
| blossom, instead of balsam; Halls hair
| manure instead of remover, and Bur-
nett's 'cocarine,' instead of cocoaine.
| Customers who want lovage write for love
| itch.
F.! Those who desire licorice write for
| luckrich, logrish, lickrish, and stickrish.
Here is woman who wants five cents
worth of cologne to smell trunk. An
| other asks for a mixture which shall be
two thirds castor oil. This one wants
something to make catnip tea from, and
/ the other asks for 10 cents worth of
Mary attic acid.
Thousands OF women bless the day which
| DR. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" was made
Tn oil layo