Arizona weekly enterprise., 1887-05-14

father were alive he would be 103 years old today" You don't say so." ex- claimed Dumley, very much impressed. doesn't seem possible. ''-Neeo York Tunes.
 Overheard in street-car: q tried to kiss my wife at the front door tonight as I was leaving home, and, do you know, she wouldn't let me. She said she didn't want the neighbors to be talk ing her for the hired girlr'-Bu6dlo Express.
 A young lady singing a sentimental romanza displayed not only an extror- dinary talent but set of enormous teeth. An sad lady auditor to her husband, what a grand organr' '.Per- feet" rejoined her husband, ''even to the keyboard in her mouth. "-Irog Times.
 Prof. Dryasdust-Have you read my essayP Noted Scientist-Yes, and with thenPn 70, easilv.'' Well, well, 1 did hope it would not be such failure l cord School of Philosophy ''-OmGhG | WorJd.
 Dr. Gimlet returns empty-handed from 8 days hunting, and in response to his wife's inquiries candidly eonfesses that he killed nothing. "Why," retorts Mrs. G., slowly, you could have done bet ter than that had you staid at home and attended to your regular business. D. LoWeH Citizen.
 "What is that big iron thing full of holes?" asked Laura. Locomotive boiler" said Tom. Laura looked thoughtful At4e,r 9 moment's silence she asked: '.W1y do they boil loco motives?" Tom looked amazed. "To make 'em tender he answered slowly. Burdette.
 Black-"Come and take a drink, White" White-'No, guess not. I'm come along" W.-''Ail right" They go observes: ''Well, seeing as you've in- vited me, guess I'll take another. .'- Boston Courier.
 Druggist-Well my little man, what can 1 do for you? Boy-I want 10 cents worth of cochineal and } cents worth of hayseed. Druggist-What do you want cochineal and hayseed forP Boy-Me mudder is maxim some straw berry iee-cream for the church picnic.- Nea0 Yorb Times.
 Captaln-Sergt. Jones reports that you were drunk again last night. What excuse have you this time? Private Well, captain, 1 saw fellows from all the commands whooping her up at the sutler's and not wishing them to think our company was anything mean, l went in for esprit de corps" ."-Los0ell Citizen.
 A ponderods old man, who occupied the entire seat in a car on the George town branch, snapped ont to a boy in front of him, "Why don't you get ur and give that lady a seat?' "Why don't you get up yourself and give hel twoP" was the reply. But the old par ty didn't get up, all the same. Valtes Visitor
 ''You sit on your horse like a butch er," said pert young officer, who hap pened to be of royal blood, to veteran general who was somewhat bent iron age. ''It is highly probable" respond ed the old warrior, with grim smile '1t is because all my life I've been lead ing calves to tine slaughter. "-Fliegep oe BIGetter.
 o Guibollard's son was engaged to be married, but he was terribly afraid O matrimony. His father, indignant a such unmanly feelings: Look here my son, am l not raarriedP' ''Y-e-e-s papa, but you see it isn't the s-s-s-am, thing, y-o-o-o-u see. You m-m-m-arrie( mamma, while 1 shall have to m-m-m arry a-a-a-.stranger.- er.-Frencb Fun.
 Life-insurance agent Go applicanD- q see our physician has pronounced you in robust health, and considers yol a perfectly safe risk. Applicant-"Ye Yes I'm in good health" Agent-''Wha is your businessP" Applicant-"pm m g baseball umpire" Agent-"Sorry, sir but shall have to decline such risk The company won't have it."-Neu York Sun.
 A correspondent says that when Mas sood Mirza, the Persian heir, is talkin. to a person he generally shuts his lief eye If his Highness were to visit thi country, and stop in several drug store during an afternoon for plain, every day, untrimmed soda water, his leg would soon become so demoralized tha he would be unable to convey then back to his hotel without assistance Norristoa0n Her0lG.
 By an unfortunate typographical CT ror," explains the contrite editor of Dakota paper, ''we were made to sa, last week that our distinguished towns man. Prof. Kennedy, was about to Ii. !, up hobby babboon for the comfor and enjoyment of his daughter on he , wedding trip over the prairies. Wha we meant to say was hobby balloon We write this with our left hand, whil F lying on our spare bed, with one ey entirely closed and the other hand , painted. and an inverted chair acros our stomach for writing table. Tn extent of our regret for the blunder ma, be measured by the difficulties we hay