San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1887-05-24
THE LADY AGENT.
A REPORTER JoTS DOWN WHAT
SHE HAS TO SAY.
Useful Class OF Citizens which IN,
World Does Not Appreciate--A Case OF
Counter Bluf-In an Emergency.


Counter Blun-In an Emergency.
There is a lady at the door. Show her into
the parlor. No, stop. Shut the door in heI
face. She is nothing but an agent. Never
1T an agent inside the house. Agents are SC
cheeky. They are so persistent. They can
talk an arm off in less than fifteen minutes
Is there no protection for usi We can man.
age to keep the wolf from our door, but we
are powerless to resist the book agent Give
| her bluff. Invite her to close the door from
the outside.
And now hear what the lady agent has to
say for herself
Do you think / came from the Cannibal
islands: Do you think am going about like
a roaring lion, seeking who / may devouri II
this is the cause of all your terror, let your
minds be disabused, for / am simply trying to
make IA living, same as other people. We are
very useful class of citizens, but the world
does not appreciate u.s.
Our business is about as certain as a Louis
lana lottery. Sometimes we make great win.
nings, and sometimes we lose We are apt to
make any amount from ten cents to 800 per
week; but we generally keep nearer the ten
cent line. Sometimes we meet very pleasant
people Sometimes we meet very unpleasant
peoPe' sometimes the game Is Diuu' some
times counter biuif.
THE SEWING MACHINE
Let me explain. Once when | was canvass
ing for sewing machines rang the bell Of a
house on Mount Auburn. and instead of tbs
door being opened by a servant, as was uS,l-
ally the case, it was a gentleman who an
swered my summons and whom touickly de-
Cided to be lord and master
Nv business was soliciting orders for ma
chimes, to be sent on trial / carried nothing
with me but a little hand satcbel within
which was concealed the give away note book
and pencil, and the servants who opened the
door for me generally took me TO be ono of a
church fair committee, guess; but never
would tell them NV business I would ALWAYS
insist upon seeing the lady herself However,
upon the day in question, when the gentleman
met me at the door, was informed that the
wife had gone down into the city, and would
not be home until quite late. So there was
no hope Of seeing her, and just then some evil
spirit whispered in my ear, "Tell the husband,
perhaps he will surprise his wife by having a
machine sent in" SO launched forth in my
most eloquent strain, but when l came to the
place where he should have Clipped in and
said, Certainly, send 1t right along" de-
tected vicious smile playing around the cor
ners OF his mouth, and l knew that indicated
bluff, and braced myself to receive it.
de said: wei, OF course, you can send
the machine, but Will have to charge you
storage"
Certainly" said L, 1--WE would not expect
anything else. We always pay storage. How
much DO you charger
lie began TO look puzzled, but answered:
"A dollar week"
THANK you, said l, warmly. Consider
ing the excellency OF our machine, your
charges are quite reasonable"
Then, taking out my book and pencil,
noted the street and number and asked:
what is your name, please, when will you
have it sentT
HE ONLY STARED.
But he only stared at me for the space of
half minute, as though wondering il they
had missed me yet at the lunatic asylum, and
then expressed himself emphatically. He
said:
"You surely are not fool enough to do such
a thing as thatl"
THAT is our way Of doing business" con-
fidently answered, then added: "Oh, yes, here
is your name ON the door plate. Thank you.
The machine will be sent in day or two, and
am sure your wife will be pleased with it.
Thank you, thank you, and good day, sir.n
And so I left him battling with conflicting