The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-11-15
and dying husband7"
cal had some work To do

What is making up q darn old spare
bed compared to the life of your hus-
bandP Are you in hurry to see Grape
on the door?"
''Come, Mr.. Bowser, don't be I'M
reasonable. will do every ming for
your comfort, but things around the
house must be seen to-"
There are certain facts and statistics
which i find it best to iot down in PEN
Gil. I jotted some down during the
first three hours Mr.. Bowser was under
my care with that accident, and here
they are:
Looked at the ankle twenty-thres
times. and each time solemnly assured
him it was no worse.
Bathed the ankle six times, although
there was not the slightest need OF
more than two applications.
Patted him on the head and assured
him he would live twenty-seven times
Turned his pillow over fourteen
times. This also included assuring
him that his mishap would be men,
toned in the papers, and that he would
probably be referred to as the Hon.
Bowser.
Made two sorts of Cruel, one sort Of
soup, two sorts of tea, one sort OF lem
onade and assured him that in case the
limb mortified I'd have it amputated in
time to save his precious life.
Lied to him seven times. Had to do
it. Three different times when the
6oor-bell rang and l went to the door
and fired tramps off the steps had to
tell Mr.. Bowser that prominent citi-
gems had sent messengers up to ask
after his situation and to say that he
need worry about nothing.
When evening came Mr.. Bowser had
o slight fever, and he grew more pet
fish. He wanted me to telegraph to
his brother in Japan. his sister in Cali
fornia, and to telephone the doctor.
He also wanted a lawyer to draw up .
will, . neighbor to come in and see
about his life insurance, and he cried
several times as he thought of my
marrying again and taking my second
husband to spit tobacco-juice on his
grave. / put in an awful night with
him. He heard cats and burglars and
forty other noises, and he refused to
go to sleep for fear he'd die without
knowing it. At midnight, after / had
helped him turn over about twenty
times and had upset his pillow until
the case was worn threadbare, he
wanted me to telephone the doctor and
asked if a sprained ankle ever struck
to the heart / rang up the central
and the following conversation seemed
to take place:
doctor, Mr.. Bowser has grown
steadily worse since you left, and /
don't believe he can live an hour
longer. Yes, have done as you told
me. Oh, you knew he'd die before
morning, ehf Oh, yes. / shall be
pretty well fixed for a widow. About
six hacks, 1 guess. I'm no hand to
make a spread at funeral. You
might"
"Mrs. Bowser!' yelled Mr.. Bowser
at the top Of his voice, and when ran
into the bedroom he was sitting on
the edge of the bed, hair on end and
face pale as death.
What do you want, dear?"
Well, the poor man actually tainted
away in his nervousness, and when hs
came to l had to sit and hold his handI
while he caught catnaps. The swell
ing was nearly gone from his ankle In
the morning, and he could dress him
self and hobble about. He, however
drew up his will, had two or thre,
mysterious conferences with parties ht
sent for, and saw him looking over ,
lot of photographs of monuments anC
tombstones. l caught him weeping
once, and when / stroked the back o.
his neck and called him my poor, Grip
pied gazelle. he looked up in a pitifu
way and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, it's awful hard Il
have to die at my age"
That was Mr.. Bowser for the first tive
days. On the third day he went down
town, and on the fourth he gave up hi
cane. When he came home to dinne
was on the lounge with teeth ant
ears full of neuralgia.
"Now what" he roared out
"T'm dreadfully i'll, Mr.. Bowser."
"Bosh! A little neuralgia! Mrs
Bowser, you've got no more sand thai
a grasshopper. If were as big bah.
as you are I'd live on soothing syrup.
"But-but when you had nothing bu
. sprained ankle, you-you-."
when / fell fourteen feet, Mrs
Bowser, and cracked two ribs, upse
my liver, turned my right leg clea
around, knocked my elbow loose AM
brought on brain fever 1 lay here with
out murmur or complaint. and yo1
know it! You are a booby-a regula
BOBBY with No. 2 feet, and I'll 60 bacl