The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-05-18
RRIC-h-BRAC.
A CANARY AT THE FARM.

Sahry's sot tho'-so tell her
Hesa purity little fellcr,
With his wings o creamy ycller
And eyes keen as a cat;
And the twitter of the creature
Seems to absolutely glitter
Guess III have to go and git her
A better cage'n that.
The iron age-Bondage.
The golden age-Coinage.
Light infantry-Torch-bearers.
The cash system is no-bill art.
The corset has come to stay.
1t only takes about two seconds to get up
duel.
As rule, the best hats do not cover the
best brains.
Proverb for the year-Faint heart never
helped fair lady.
A young lady who visited Niagara COM
planned of a in her eye.
Burglarious ditty-Oft in the stealy
night.
Lawn tennis is a popular game, but it is
played out, all the same,
The diver is man who always does
business at bottom prices.
There are few things in this world more
| rasping than file of unpaid bills.
4 duel is the quickest kind of an encoun.
ter, because it only takes two seconds.
a tea-totalleSThe tea merchants ac-
| couutant.
A kentucky duck has three feet, all
fully developed. A Chicago duck has TWO
feet, awfully developed.
Man has two Wills One heis born with,
and the other he makes to take effect when
he dies.
When young woman attends her first
ball she thinks she has found woman's
| sphere.
A man may successfully paint the town
red, but when afterward he has brush
with policeman he loses color.
"Is Your husband an Odd Fellow"
''Well, should imagine he is; never saw
such strange man in my life. p
It is stated that our army of about 25, 900
costs yearly but half million less than the
German army Of 10000.
What beautiful thing, my dear, is
rosy cheek" Yes, husband but how great
the contrast when the blush settles on the
nose.
Care VIII kill cat. The care must be
exercised in taking aim. It is extremely
difficult, however, to hit one in the dark
with bottle.
Bank managers should make good re-
porters; they are always taking notes. And
then, again, they always take an interest in
| the business.
\ contemporary remarks that wise man
will never mock his mother-in-law more
than once Shouldn't think wise man
would do it once.
A four-year.old child, visiting, saw bel
lows used to blow an open fire, and in
formed her mother that "tbey shovel wind
into tie fire at Aunt Augustas.'
Holland has 10000 windmills During
Presidential campaign America can see
Holland and go her about 5O,0O0 windmills
better.
The invention of the drum is ascribed by
the Greeks to the god Bacchus Whence,
undoubtedly, arose the expression, Tight
as q drum,
1T is really very odd, my dear" said an
old lady, ore very cold day to friend, 81
can't bear the heat in summer and in win
ter love it.
"a young wife's greatest trial. is probably
to find out whether it would be proper to
starch her husbands shirt all over or, only
the bosom and cuffs.
Mamma" said little up. town boy, as
he left his bed and crawled into hers, the
other night, :" can sleep in your bed, |
know l can; but I've slept my bed all up. ;"
When man and his wife engaged in a
debate, the other night, and the dog got mp
and scratched to be let out of the room,
they concluded it was time to stop the dis
cussi0n.
4 cat has been discovered in France with
an eye like that of the Cyclops. 1t seems
to US that if any change is to be made in
cats it should be made in their voices and
not their eyes.
At a recent ball a new figure was intro
duced, which caused quite sensation. 1t
was the figure of an irate parent who took
his son by the ear and waltZed him out OF
the ballroom in quickstep movement.
We think if Shakespeare had lived in
Vermont he would never have written,
What fall was there, my countrymen?"
lie would have put it, What winter was
there, my countrymen."
''Ta, ia; III see you LATER" said Amy,
taking leave of the high-school girl, the |
other evening. You mean replied the
latter, you will ocularly observe me at a
subsequent period, do you not:'
Horse-radish yields from two to four tons
per acre and sells from five to ten cents |
pound. The worst drawback to its culture |
is the difficulty of cradicating it when it |
gets firm hold on the land.
IF it be true that the hairs of ones head |
are all numbered" said the man after he !
had escaped from his wifcs clutches, !
there will be one angel, at least, who will |
show up with a big deficit"
a pima donna sang Home Sweet
Home, " to the convcts III Western prison,
and it 50 worked upon their feelings that
seven of them escaped and struck out for
the parental roof-trec the same night.
4 near-s;ghtcd man in street car see
ing woman holding pug-dog on her lap,
asked if she had left her other children at
home And she got mad and called him
brute.
''Do you think eating angel cake will
make an angel of me-" asked seraphic
young lady of the worldly young man.
I've no doubt it will" he answered, eff
you only eat enough of it" Then she gig
glcd, and said why"