Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1887-06-02
A FOOL In THE FAMILY.
Bin-Diolks Little Scheme, ard How
1t Worked.

fut ltoo dttounN u Nouup ltAtti ~ thtoc
days the more he's on the lookout for
wife"
Old Nat. Banks lived on Big
Tcrrapin creek. Had he been as much
noted for industry rs he was noted on
account Of disposition to dodge active
work. he would have taken position
in the front rank Of Terrapin creek
agriculture, but, as Il was. he occupied
the uncnvied position of crop thermom-
cter that is, when he had fair crop
it wss generally believed that all Of the
Other crops in the neighborhood were
of unusual excellence. Old Nat was q
widowcr. II was once cruelty binted at
Wcbstcr's water-mill that Mrs. Banks
had been starved to death, but the in
humanity Of this rcproach will be rec
ognized when | solemnly affirm that
the old lady, on the day before she was
stricken with her fatal illness, was seen
fondly lowering over a large stew-pan
full OF cold potatoes and wild mus
tard. Old Banks daughter. girl Of
seventeen, would have been the belle
Of the community, had her fathers
farm been in better condition. In OPP
position to the advice of people more
intelligent than himself, he had bur
dened the girl with the name Of
Anthracite. He had heard the word.
in vague sort of way, and was much
struck with it, declaring that a girl
with such name could not help
marrying q lawyer, or a circuit rider
with good nag and new saddle.
Bill-Dick Belsher, sort of "harum-
scarum" young fellow of the ncighbor-
hood, had fallen in love with Anthra-
cite. and had asked her to marry him,
which, as there was nothing better in
sight, she had consented TO do. Bill
Dick. dressed in suit Of corduroy
which, indeed, was the wardrobial
wonder of nearly every young man in
the communicated called at the
house and asked for the girl, when the
old man denounced him as above set
forth.
'Oh." the old man continued, 81
know all about your clothes, but you
don't know nothin' about law, an be-
sides that, whar's your nag an new
saddlep Anthracite KANT afford to
throw herself away on n common man,
specially one that amt no moro ac-
count than you air, Bill-Dick Belsher 4"
''You air fine man." Bill-Dick re-
piled, "to be talkin' bout pusson be-
in no account wy. cadfound your
ugly pictur', Nat Banks, you are too
lazy TO bresh hoss-ny often your nose
in August. an you amt more'n got
sense enough TO grunt when pain
strikes you. Mout live two hundred
years. Nat Banks, an you couldn't
have a suit of clothes like these here.
''You wouldn't have 'em ef you
hadn't found 'em summers" the old
man replied; "but that amt nuther
here nur thar; you amt goin' to marry
Anthry, an that clinches it,"
"S'poze we run away?"
"S'poze foller you?"
"S'pozc you kain't ketch us'"
"S'poze lead KEMP"
The reference 20 lead had its effect.
"Come, old man. said Bill-Dick,
"don't come talkin' about shootin' a
feller"
"Ain't said word about shootin'. +"
; "No, hut cadfound your ugly pictur',
that's whut you meant. You must rec
olleck yon amt got more'n enough
sense than to shoot these clothes full of
holes"
"Wall, then, 60 on away, an find
man that won't shoot, an marry his
gal. That's about the safest way for
you TO do"
"Never mind, old man. I'll git even
with YOU"
Yes, the turkey gobbler got even
with the mus rat"
An" said Bill-Dick, "mebbe the
coon didn't get even with the craw-
fish"
"He mout done IT," replied the
old man, ''but he got his skin power
ful wet"
That's all right, but he eat the
crawiish. Well, / must go, but I'll see
you agin."
Several weeks later, during an over
flow, Bill-Dick hurriedly sought the
old man and excitedly exclaimed:
'Say. Mr.. Banks, ] don't kere how
much I've got agin man. kain't
bar 10 see his dumb bruies suffer.
Three Of the best hogs you've got air
out on an islam in the creek, an ef YOU
don't go airter 'em the waterll sweep
'em on Ia another ha'f hour"
My stairs, you don't say so, Bill
DiclSr'
"Didn't You hear mo say SO? III you
didn't III say il agin."
"of eou'se hoarn you, but what am
To doPn
''Go airter 'em."
''HowP"
"Ive got boat down yandcr."
"will you lot me take itPn
"Ill 90 out with you"
While they were rowing toward the
island Bill-Dick said; "Old man. YOU
mount let me have Anthry. a'rter
have done been so 'commordating"
Blll-D,ck. whars your nag an
new saddioP Whars your law booksP
Bein 'commondatin Is Que thing, an
gisin' up gal Is anoiher'
"Hop oht, said Bill-Dick, when the
boat touched the island. The old man
jumped out, and Bill-Dick, showing OF
into deep water caught hold Of sap
lag 10 hold the boat steady, aud said:
''liow do you feel, old manP"
IAN right Say, row her in an les
pil he hogs. Come on, for the water
~ risin powerful fast.
"Nhat bogsP"