The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1887-06-16
PERPETUAL-M CRANKS

PeRPErUAL-MorioN CRANKS.
Men who Spend Their Lives and
Money In u Hopeless Effort.
"Do you have many perpetual-motion
cranks nowadays?" asked a Star report
er of prominent patent attorney at
Willard hotel last night. mot many"
was the reply. II have had only one
or two in my experience, One of them
was very singular case. 1t happened
quite while ago. One day, while l
was sitting ut one of my spare desks ex-
amining patent case. the door opened
and in walked three men in Indian file.
They were queer-looking fellows. The
first was a tall, gaunt, gray-Dearded
and gray-haired man. dressed in old
fashioned black clothes, covered by
long linen dustcr The second was
short, fat, chunky fellow. a country
man. apparently, and neighbor Of the
old fellow. The third man evil
IDENTIFY belonged in the city. Pro badly
he picked the other up, or happened to
know what they were after, and so
brought them to me. Well, when they
got inside the door the old fellow stalk
ed over in military fashion in my direc-
tion. When he got directly opposite me
lie turned right about and, walking up
to my desk, drew long and large roll
of paper from under his arm. He hand
ed it to me, saying: We'll, sir, what
do you think of that?' took the roll.
opened it. and after looking over it's
contents for few minutes, during
which the old fellow stood as silent rs
the grave, l said: 1t appears to me to
be a perpetual motion device That's
just what it is. sir. That just VIII at it
is. l knew you would SEE it i'll a min
ute, said the old man with grin.
THE old man then looked around to
where my draughtsman was sitting, an
interested spectator of the scene. He
motioned silently with one hand to my
private office, acting as if he wanted
to speak of things he did not wish
overheard. Well, into my office the
three walked. When they got inside
the short man closed the door and then
stood against it so that the draughts-
man could not get in. The old gentle
man then asked me what l could do
for him. inquired of him in reply if
he had a model of his invention. He
drew out of one his pockets three
combs with convalutes on them. l
took them in my hand for moment
| and then l told the old gentleman
frankly could not get him a patent
for perpetual motion. The thing, as
you know, is a chestnut, and unless we
could make some practical demonstra-
| ton of the invention in the patent
Office the examiners there would throw
it out aud laugh at me for my pains.
But the old gentleman persisted that
he wanted it patented, even though L
| told him time and again that it was ut
terly useless; that there never had been
and never could be such a device in
| vented. However, l saw that the me-
chanical principle involved in part of
the thing was radical and totally new,
and thought that l might get him
| patent for that. l told him so. He
wouldn't hear of it at first, but finally,
after his companions had pursuaded
him that it would be best to let me pro-
tect him in that respect, and that he
could hereafter obtain patent on the
rest, the old fellow consented.
''He then asked me what was my
fee. told him that S. was all l ask
ed to make a preliminary examination
to see whether the thing had not al
ready been patented. But he wasn't
| satisfied with this. He wanted me to
apply for the patent anyhow, and so /
told him that l would require $50-$15
for the patent office fee and $35 for my
self-to start the thing. He never said
a word, but, putting his hand into an
inside pocket, he pulled out an old
leather pouch stuffed full of money.
He took $50 bill out and banded it
to me. 1t was then Saturday, and the
old man told me that he was going
| back to Arkansas, and that, as he had
about eighty miles of staging to do aft
| ell he left the railroad he couldn't pos
sibly get to his home before the fol-
lowing Wednesday or Thursday. Now,
| although l kal taken the fee of $50
| from the old man had no intention of
| hrr tba ,off I
thought he was crazy. and therefore
thought that the bare fact of his know
ing that the invention was then on its
way through the patent office would
satisfy him for some time. So. just as
they left the office. called the short
man back and said to him that intend
ed to hang the patent up in my
Office for sometime. Well that
let the cat out of the bag.
He told me that it was put up
job on the old man; that he had been a
| prosperous dentist in country
town down in Arkansas when
he got the idea into his head of
inventing perpetual motion. From
that time he gave up all business
everything-and devoted all his time
and money to his invention. He said.
also. that during the three years the
old fellow had worked on it he had not
had in any night more than three hours
sleep, and that his friends. real alzing
his condition. sent him on in the hope
that once he got the thing before the
office he would forget all about it. !
saw plainly that if the old man work
another six months over it he would
have to be put in an insane asylum.
Well, the old man went home, and do
i IL. Hall