The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-20
BRIGHT BITS.

HALTER to friend-There goes Mr.. X See he
wouldn't even take of my hat to me, and it isn't
paid tor.-Toirn Topics.
FATHER-He's brute. my dear, but don't
cry. | gave you to him because he said he knew
the secret Of making you happy.
Daughter-Well, he's kept his secret admira-
bly.--FTe1tch Fun.
SOME ONE says that the latest fad of New York
girls is 70 practice smiling before the mirror
The boys, we understand, don't care whether
there are any mirrors before them or not when
they smile.-PttSbuTg Chronicle.
The Labor party of Iowa is running Mr.. Cain
for Governor Now, here is a chance to settle
an old controversy to the queens taste. Let
his opponent make him tell who his mothern.
law was in the Land of Nod.-SdR Francisco
alta.
IN CHICAGo-Young Pennywat-Oh, Ethel! l
love the very ground you walk on
Ethel (aside)-Dare say. Corner lot, worth
$4,000
The engagement is not yet annouced-Towl
Topics.
tleman of a tot who was celebrating his
birthday,
I'm T." was the reply, land I'm mighty glad
Of it,; ! was getting very tired of being all the
time. Leisure Hours
MY dear, old friend, how were you able to
acquire such an immense fortune?n
by very simple method
What method is that?'
When was poor made out I was rich, and
when got rich made out that was poor
Terds S9tngs.
FLIES were very troublesome in the dining
room of a seaside cottage, and trap was set
for them. 1t did its work well and the room
seemed clear of them. But when dinner was
served they were as numerous as ever. The
three-year-Old child explained their appearance
by saying; Papa, tot dey was in dere long
enuf. THE Epoch.
'Do you think you will gain your Iawsuit?''
asked Gus de Smith of Col. Yerger, who had
been run over by fire engine and was suing the
city of Austin for damages.
Yes, think will come out ahead"
Has your lawyer given you grounds to think
NO but have given him grounds to think
so. I've decided him two lots on Austin avenue
as fee. "-TerdS Siftiags.
A YOUNG LAWYER in Texas town invited some
of his friends to- game OF cards in his room, to
be followed by little supper. Frogs We're
new specie of food in that latitude, and a dish
of them cooked in the choicest way was the
feature of the occasion. Supper time APP
preached and during temporary hull in the
conversation, the door suddenly opened, and a
Milesian waiter in a loud voice, announced sup
per thus: MIR. f., them tuds is done and sup
per is ready!'-IerGs SittingS
'WHAT's the matter now?' inquired the doc
tor, as he met one of his regular patients, look
ing rather dilapdated.
'Ibe got Il bad cod, that's all. Idll soon be
ober."
That's all is it? That's the way all You peo-
pie talk. Some time you'll find that a cold isn't
to be sneeZed at"
Il always thoughd id was" replied the suf-
ferer. Now he couldn't secure the services of
that physician at any price. Washington
critic.
OMAHA MAN Gust returned after a long alb
senceEWhat has become of Deacon De Goode?
Old Citizen-DeGoode. DeGoode?
Yes, he was sort of philanthropist, don't
you know; was President of the Society to Make
Great Criminals Happy"
"Oh, remember now He spent his fortune
trying to invent nice, easy, painless substitute
for hanging"
That's the man"
Hes dead
'Eh' What did he die Off"
Burglars. ''-Omdhu World