Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-08
BRIGHT BITS.

A BURLINGTON WOMAN keeps strict account
OF every time she spanks her children. She
enters 1t in her diary in this form: "Given
under my hand this -th day of -.'-Bur-
Etn0t0'a Free p ess.
WHEN Eve found herself in the Garden of
Eden she must have had happy time" said
a Philadelphia woman. 'She didn't have to
be continually lifting her skirts to Keep them
out OF the mud" -FhtL1dekDhja Herald.
NEW BOOK TO mis- tress Of the house)-shure.
mum, It's three ayenins in the wake / mustn't
have till mesef.
Mistress lin dismay)-Three evenings!
why. Bridget, the Irish lady with whom
we boarded last only took two.-N6to York
Sun.
OMAHA Chambermald-wsit Mary. it isn't
time 70 lock up the house yet. Miss EthePs
Young man is in the parOr.
Omaha Kitchen Girl-He's gone. Sarah.
Did you hear Inc front door SHUT"
no, but the parlor gas is turned up again."
Omaha W rid.
CALL Boy Ito old gentleman in green ROOM
Nile. DE Perchong desires me to assure you
that she will be down as soon as she RECEIVERS
from her fatigue and changes her clothes.
Old Genteman-Here, hold on; l say, there
isn't anything serious the matter with
mother, is theref-Lye.
81 DON'T see how you get so much news
into your paper" said The village clergyman
to the village editor, seeing that you have
no local reporter"
"Oh! that's easily explained" replied the
editor. My wife belongs to three sewing So
cietles in the village, and she has an excel
lent memory.-Bosta @ uric.
boy, why didn't you help that lady up?''
he demanded Of a newsboy who had calmly
observed a woman slip down and struggle up
without assistance.
"'Cause she's coiored,' was the reply.
But what difference does that maker"
"Why. she'd be EN- bsrrassed for language
in which to express her thanks. "-DetrOit
Ftee Press.
A FLoUNDER TO his little huke
Sa d. Sonny, have care;
This is the LenJeu time of year
When we must all beware.
Man must not gorge himself or hlrt,
All owing to his sins,
And so he founders on to us,
And serves US up in tins"
-Y,70 4 * KOrniRg Journal.
FIRST MISERABLE MAN-Say, Jinks. lend
me YOUR pistol. | want to Kill myself.
Second Miserable Mani was just going to
ask that favor Of you. l haven't any. and
Miss Clair has refused me.
''Miss Claire! Why, she is the cause of my
trouble
"Eh! Has she refused you. too"
"Eo, she's been engaged to me and
threatens to sue for damages.-ODdIa Void.
JUST little bit of-Foreigu Tourist latter
q train robberyl-My stars! didn't think
things were so bad as that in this blarsted
kentry.
times.
well. don't wonder the papers keep hit
ting at them ser
Hitting at them?"
Yes: those are the porters, amt they:"-
Omaha World.
A NATURAL MIsTAKE.-Amateur Arctic
Explorer-Well, well; the books are all
wrong. l thought these people dressed IN
sealskins.
Nauve-Oh, no! Ordinary fur is good
enough for us.
''Great st. Arctic! Where did you learn
English"
English! We all talk English"
Gwen. | don't see how these former ex-
plorers could lie so. Say, my friend. the North
Pole is right about here somewhere. and
want to get together party of natives to
help me find it,"
~ on are wrong in your geography. young
Teller. This i5 Dakota. "-O0dhd World.