Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1887-03-31
FROM ACROSS THE SEA.
THEODORE STANTON WRITES OF
SOME FRENCH CUSTOMS.
He Compares Them With the Customs
of the United States and Not Always
to Our Advantage-Hints for People
Who Wish to Enjoy Social Life.
Especial Correspondence

fARIS, Jan. OIL propose III lnlS letIeT 10
give your readers an idea of few Of the
social customs that differ in France from
those that prevail in the United States, and
here as in some other things, think you
will find that France is superior to u.s. We
Americans are often too apt to consider as
unworthy of study and imitation what we are
pleased to call "the effete nations of Europe"
But long residence on this side of the ocean
has convinced me, that while the United
States possesses many virtues, it does not
possess all the good things of this world.
Thus several of the social customs of France
could be transplanted with benefit into the
United States.
In America, even in our large cities, it is
more the exception than the rule il lady has
regular "at home" But here in France, and
especially in Paris, erybody-even gentle
men in some instances-has his or her "day."
The day and the hours between which the
lady is ready to receive callers are generally
printed in the left hand lower corner OF her
visiting card, and it is only on that day and
between those hours that she can be seen by
her friends. Sometimes it may be every
Tuesday or on every other Thursday, or ON
the first Saturday in each month; but every
lady in Paris, even of the most unpretentious
sort, has fixed afternoon when she receives
her friends.
This custom has many advantages and very
few disadvantages. Here are some Of the
advantages: When, for instance, French
housewife, with culinary tastes, is busy in
the kitchen, she is sure that Mrs. Brown or
Mrs. Jones will not appear in her parlor all
attired in fine robes, and thus force her to
leave the cake to spoil and to lose a precious
hour, or, it may be, a whole afternoon, that
was to have been devoted to replenishing the
dessert drawer. Fewer "white lies" have to
DC told under this system, for nobody calls
on Mrs. Smith except on Tuesday, and then
Mrs. Smith is never "out." Again, Mrs.
Smith can-unless she happen to be poor,
and yet have rich acquaintancess which Is
oftener the case in aristocratic Europe than
in democratic America-be as richly dressed
as her visitors, who she knows, will not come
in upon her before certain hour on a GER
tain day. So she never has to enter her own
parlor making excuses for her attire, that she
came in just as she was in order not to keep
you waiting, that you must excuse her stained
hands, because she was in the midst of making
currant jelly, etc.
And now here are some of the advantages
to the callers. In the first place they never
have to wait "Only minute" while Mrs
Smith is jumping out Of her kitchen dress
into her parlor robe, which often takes nearly
a half hour. Then again, you do not ring
door bell in Paris and experience the disagree
able feeling that perhaps your unexpected
call is throwing whole family into conster-
nation. No; it is Mrs Smiths day, and the
door is Immediately opened by a neatly at
tired maid servant, who, perhaps, looks slat-
ternly on all the other days of the week, and
who conducts you into cozy parlor, where
the fire is burning, guests are chatting and
the delicious aroma of tea rises from little
side table. You find Mrs. Smith really glad
to see you, for she has been expecting you.
You often meet agreeable visitors, and you
sip a cup of tea or quaf glass of wine, and
start out on the next call rested in body and
refreshed. Mrs. Smith has appeared at her
best, her home looked orderly and inviting
and you were not saying to yourself during
your visit: II wonder if / am not interrupt
ing some household duty!" or, "llrs. Smith
looks as if she wished he gone," or, "Am l
not staying too long?" or some other such
mental question that always haunts the brain
Of sensitive person who infiicts surprise
party" in the shape of call upon some help
less friend.
Another admirable French custom is what
is known as the ':faire part" Thus when
child is born, when marriage or funeral oc-
ours, all the friends and acquaintance of the
family are informed of the event by receiving
printed letter. The many advantages of
this custom will readily occur to you. Here
are some: You never run the risk of asking
husband about his wife who has been dead
month; you do not congratulate father
on his baby who has not yet been born; you
do not address an old flame as Miss Black
when she has been married for six months to
the man at her side, nor do you write
a letter to Mrs johnson, when she has
been divorced and remarked and is now
Mrs. Robinson. 1t is no uncommon thing
in America, to return to your native town
after years absence, and to be in continual
fear of making mistakes of this kind. had
several unpleasant experiences of this sort
during my visit to the United States last
summer, after five years sojourn in Europe
But in France, it is rare that this happens.
Marriages and deaths and births, are not
published as in England, in the advertising
columns of the newspapers, where nine friends
out of ten never see them. You receive per-
sonally notice and thus you easily keep the
run of all that has occurred among your ac-
quaintances in respect to these three cardinal
events of life.
The importance of the visiting card in
France may be shown in connection with
this "faire part" custom; when you receive
one of these notices, you are always expected
to send in return your card. fyou are very
intimate with the family, you should write
in the corner a few words of coincidence or
felicitation according to whether the @faire
part" informed you Of death, birth, or q
In this way long letters of condo
lence and congratulation are often avoided.
But in most cases, ninety-nine out of hun
dred, you need simply return, by post, your
visiting card in an open envelope, requiring a
one cent stamp. Thus this custom costs
neither time nor money.
While speaking Of cards, / might mention
q popularity in France that strikes the
American The wife has no individual visit
ing card as in the United States. Thus, Mrs.
Benjamin's card reads Mr. and Mrs. John P.
Benjamin, and not Mrs. Julia S. Benjamin.
The husband, on the contrary, has an indi-
vidual card. So when Mrs. Benjamin leaves
cards on another married couple, she hands
the servant one on which is printed Mr.. and
Mrs. John P. Benjamin, this is for the lady Of
the house who is being called upon, and two
others bearing the name Mr.. John P. Benja-
min, which are for the lady and gentleman
Of the house. This complete burying of the
wife's name and individuality in that Of the