Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1887-05-16

Venison is two cents a pound in Idaho
and deer at that.
Hans, name three beasts of prey.
1.-TWO lions and tiger"
Talking about the weather, they have
had an unusually long reign over in Eng
land, haven't they?
Can you tell me what is good for bed
bugs? Seems to me that fat boarders
ought to satisfy em.
a Troy paper speaks of dog fight be-
ing .'nipped in the bud" A dog-fght
must be very interesting botanical phe
nOmenOn.
.'It pains me, Mr.. Boggs, to see you
coming out of a bar-roOm." ''An right
deacon. Anything ter save your feelings.
I'll go right in again
Mistress-Did you tell those ladies al
the door that | was not at home? Servant
-Yis, mum. Mistress-What did they
say? Servant-How fortinit.
The editor wrote it ''seekers after of
flee The cOmpositor set it up ''suckers
after office The proof reader didn't
think it worthy of correction.
''Sam Jones, 1 have been told, was lib
orally remunerated for his services in Bos-
ton" Yes, and why not? Was he not
always talking about the hire life?"
Young Lady (to brother)-Bob, what
is the most fashionable color for bride?
Bob-Wel, sis, don't know about fash
ion, but for me I should prefer a white
one.
keep quiet, Charley. God won't hear
the minister's prayer if you make SO much
noise was a fond mothers endeavor to
keep her child still in a city church last
Sunday.
"My pa" said a small boy, sis preach
er and is sure to go to heaven" ''Huh y
said the other small boy 'sthat amt moth
in. My pa is a doctor and can kill your
old pa
whats life insurance." asked one boy
of another. ''Wen, I s'pose,' said his
companion, ''it's a concern that keeps a
man poor all the time he's alive, so that
he may die rich
80 the missus is to be married, eh?"
said the gardener to the cook. "Yis and
in illigant stoyle, too. She's goin' for to
have dhress thray yarruds long, and
four palI-bearers ter kerry it,
Wife-Why is young Tompkins called a
good fellow by his friends? Husband
Because he is always good natured and
pleasant, can tell story WELL spends his
money freely, and shamefully neglects his
family.
We are told that all the fifty million of
people of this country could be put into
the state eff Texas without crowding This
is because they have habit of suspending
persons from trees and telegraph poles.
This makes more room below.
''Will you lend me a dollar?" asked
man of a neighbor. ''What do you want
a dollar for?" queried the neighbor, to
which the man replied: .'Why, you see
my wife has left me- and want a dollar
to advertise that l viii not hold myself
responsible for her debts"
Probably most girls have felt so, but
few of them have ever had the grace to
express it in this way: She frankly de-
cIared that the first time a coat sleeve en-
circled her waist, she seemed to be in a
pavilion built of rainbows, the window
sills of which were composed of -Eolian
harps.
We read of a boy in New Bedford who
was washed overheard recently and killed.
We can not warn mothers too strongly
against washing children overheard; if
they would only wash them at home with
tepid water and soap, and dry them thor
oughly afterwards. all danger would be
averted.
\ little boy who was TO pass the after
noon with the doctors little daughter was
given two pieces of candy. When he re-
turned his mother inquired If he gave the
biggest piece to the little girl No moth
er, didn't, you told me to give the big
gest TO the company and was the compa-
ny over there.
TIE VERDICT UNANIMOU-.
w d. Suit Druggist, Bippus, Ind testifes q
can recommend Electric BitteFs the very best
remedy Every bottle sold has given relief ia every
case. One man took TX bottles, and cured of
Rheumatism Of 10 years standing" Abraham
Hare, druggist Bellyile, Ohio afiirIns ''The best
selling medicine I have ever handled in 20