The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-18
BRIGHT BITS.

VERY few persons can hold their own on their
first sea voyage.-BoSton Courier.
CoNsIDERINe the price of fashionable bonnets,
we begin to think the word millionaire" Is but
corruption OF milliner.-LJe.
THE older man gets the more difficult It Is to
pull the wool over his eyes. He has good deal
less wool, you know.-Yonkers Statesman.
FIrz BRowS with ndignation)-Sr, you have
broken your promise.
Robinson (complacentlyy oh, never mind,
can make another.-Erchdnge.
THERE is no period of a girls life at which she
is not beautiful and charming and all that, but
1t must be confessed that it is as bride that she
takes the cake.-NdshUiIic american.
A CINCINNATI deacon is under arrest for steal
ing So 45 from the contribution box. II is I'M
necessary TO state. perhaps, that his populations
dated over a series of years-Binghd Re
publican.
SMITH see coal has gone up 40c. per 100
weight.
Brown-You mean DOC. a ton do you not'
Smith--No. You are speaking in the language
of the dealer: ! am stating the factl-Bing-
hdmtOH Republican.
WITH such Big Four as Jay Could John L.
Sullivan, Jake Kilran and Buffalo Bill in Europe,
it may be taken for granted that such portions
of the country as may not be worth bringing
over to America will be pounded into submis-
sion.-ChtcdJo Tribune.
SICK MAN-Am to take all that medicineH
Wife-Yes, all of IL.
Sick man-Theres enough in that bottle to
kill mule.
Wife-No, there isn't, John, or the doctor
wouldn't have prescribed it.-Pltck.
A WRITER in a November magazine suggests
that prize of 100000 be offered to any one
who will find q means of communication with
the lower animals. 1t would be cheaper-and
safer--to get a girl whose father doesn't keep
lower animals.-NoTTistObcn Herald.
In TURKEY, when any man is the author of
fall hav h.. ,,0l.,
front of his house. We presume, however, that
the law is Off during the tendency Of a heated
political campaign; otherwise the city streets
would look like procession of hearses. Boston
Transcript.
WHEN you get very tired" said one young
ideas?"
No, said the other Young man, 81 can't say
that do; but have felt that way sometimes
when got home very late at night '-Somer-
Uitle Journal.
WHAT is the price of that tear" she asked of
the guileess grocer.
"0ne dollar 'narf, marm,'' was the response.
us not that too steep:' was the next ques-
ton. and the e. 2, replied:
Yes, marin, that's what they do with it,
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
THE seats at the circus get narrower every
year" remarkeda young lady in horse car the
other evening. when was told where to sit
down there was no sign of a seat anywhere
Didn't you sit dcwn?'
why of course, and there was a lapse in
the conversation Buffalo Courier.
A KANSAS PAPER publishes the following
unique reminder to delinquent subscribers:
There is little matter that Some of our Sub
ScriberS have Seemingly forgotten entirely.
Some of them have made US many promises
but have not kept them. To us it is very i'm
portant matter-lt' 3 neceS $ary in our business
We are very modest, and don't like to Speak
about it. 1t might be called matter Of SIS and
sense.
Mr.. SrRETcHER-It was at Shiloh, Mrs Keene.
had been hit, and was lying where 1 fell,
when
Mrs. Keene-Beg pardon. Mr. Stretcher, but
how you must have changed your methods since
then
Mr. Stretcher-1 don't understand you
Mrs. Keene-Why, now-judging from the
fact that Shiloh was fought twenty-fv years
ago, you must be lying where you stand--Hdr-
peT's Bazaar.
Dull TINES WEST. Eastern Man-How is
business in Prairie City?
Western Man-Everything S Dead don't know
what the country is coming to.
E. M.-Why l heard ten new factories were
going up there.
w. M.-Ies, that's so.
L. M-And new board of trade had started
in opposition to the old one.
w. M.--fcs, believe so.
Il. M-And was told 400 new houses were In
course of construction.
w. M.-Yes, | s'pose that's about the number
+. M.-But you say things are dull
W. M.-Dull's no name for it dead absolutely
dead. Why. sir. staked out q suburb only fifty
miles away, into 2O-foot lots at $4,000 lot an
amt sold DANCED one of 'ein.-IId- Bits.