The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-01-26
HUMOR.


A PAN-sLAyIsT-The cook.
A scALY goddess-Justice.
An old striker-Lightning.
IT is said that frogs legs are unus-
ually high this year, from which we
infer that they have begun wearing
their legs on their back.
The poet is always climbing, says
philosopher. Undoubtedly he has to
do good deal of climbing before he
gets up to his attic at night if he lives
in the city.
A FASHIONABLE shade of yellow is
called mandarin. 1t would probably
be no easy matter to find man DARN
enough to adorn his shirt front with
scarf of this hue.
Al THOUGHT you were vegeta-
rian, and now you are eating mutton"
B.-"Well, / am only an indirect veg
etarian-I eat the meat of such animals
only as live on vegetable food"
Il KNOW her diamonds we're made
from paste" Nonsense! Why, Bees
ley the jeweler says they. are of the
first water" Still they were made
from PASTE" "How do you make that
out?" "Her father WAS bill-poster.
Chicago Ledger.
DoN'T be too previous with your ex-
pressions of sympathy and endearment
when you come from work at night and
find your newly acquired helpmeet re-
clining on the lounge with her fore
head bandaged. The chances are that
it's her crimps, and not the headache
at all.
THE MIDNIGHT TOILER.
THE heights by great men reached and kept,
Were not achieved 10y sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiing upward in the night
The red-nosed bibulous adept
drunkard was not made outright,
But he while his companions slept,
Was drinking whisky in the night.
.-B0StOn Courier.
SCENE at Harvard College: Junior
itranslating the New Testament)-And
the-an'-and the Lord said-Lord said
unto-unto Moses. Here he hesitated
and looked appealingly to neighbor,
who, also being unprepared, whispered,
Skip it," Junior (going on)-And
the Lord said unto Moses, skip it.
Great CONSERVATION - TeTds Sift-
ingS.
ALONE, A LOAN, ALE OWN.
When out of cash and lacking friends,
oh, what n woeful pity
To be a misunderstanding none
Alone in great city,
But what joyful thing it is
And how it makes him gritty
To meet some man VINO favors with
A loan, in great city!
IT'S then he casts all care aside;
Yes, even groweth witty,
BY shouting: AT some bar now III
Ale own in n great city J.
JET JOStyH, IN GOOddttS sun
n,wcnN io on ortiSt Of rotbar ind f-
ferent ability. To friend who
dropped into his studio he remarked:
mo, / don't go into society very much.
am welded to my work. "The deuce
you are!" returned the other, glancing
around the room at the products OF his
friends skill. "Well, If this is your
work | think you would be justified in
making application for divorce, and L
don't think there's court in the land
would refuse it. "-PiHsburgh Dis
patch.
THERE is family uptown in which
the young daughter and the father are
hand-in-glove. He does not teach her
slang; he does not use it much himself.
He is literary and learned and intel
lectual, and he is inoculating the little
girl with the highest views on litera-
ture and art. The two hold long dis
cussions on very serious subjects and
tie mother sits by and listens. The
child is very young, but she has no.
ticed that her mother does not inter-
fere with these discussions. Doubts,
indeed, have filled her mind as to her
mothers education. The other day
she came up and asked the mother
some very abstruse question. Il can't
tell you, dear. You must ask your
papa" "Oh, 1 know papa knows all
about it, but 1 only wanted to see if
you knew anything. San Francisco
Chronicle.