davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
A Model Wife.

Jc-as was well aware that his wife WAS m the habi; of riiling his pockets when he was asleep, but, like wise man, he kept silence oa the subject. One night, however, he awoke and caught her ip the act.
 ''Ha" he exclaimed, "what are yoI doing, my daar?'
 The lady started, her cheeks flushed, the pantiloons dropped .lrom her grasp, and she was about to make a iull confession, when bright idea entered her head Recovering her composuye she said =
 T vas looking to see whether your pautaloons needed any buttons"
 They do! they do! my dear" he exclaimed, springing from bed, needed lem for weeks, months, an,l 1 wondered why you didn't sew 'en on, but 1 waited for 1 was sure you would get to it sometime. And how kind of you to get out of bed at this time of night to attend to 'em. Say what you will, there's nothing in the world like gooi wife. Let me turn up the gas little, sos you'll have all the light you want in sewing 'em on. Got your needle and thread and the buttons? No. We'll, tell me where they are and I'll set them for yoI."
 Mrs. Jones proceeded to sew or the bu:tons, while her husband sat on the side oi the bed and encouraged her with words of praise for her wifely care and thought for his com fo-t, occasionally remarking that go where he would, he would always gay there was nothing in the world like a good wife.
 Then he went to tho wardrobe and brought out several pairs of trousers, A coat, two or three old vests, and q number of shirts. from all of which buttons were missing, and cheerily observed =
 "While we're at it we'll make a night of it."
 Two hours later, when Mrs. Jones, with q weary sigh, removed the thimble from her finger, MT. Jones patted her on the cheek and said =
 ''I say it again, my dear. say it again, that wherever I 20 will make Il known, proclaim, it from the house. tops, shout it in the highways and byways, that q wife who gets mp in tine middle of the night to sew but tons on her husbands clothes, is a priceless treasure, crown to that husband, and an ornament to her sex
 Then MT. Jones, chuckling to him. felf, lay calmly down and slept the sleep of the just. letroit Free Press.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01

Oi course they called it shinny"i in
 The days when dude " was " dandy. S Put in the place where we Ter= b~Tn
 Ttsy sirays called i: "band-.'
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
southern Women as Equestrians.

l think 1 have seen more graceful equestriennes in the South than any where else-than even in England. Although the Southern woman re- fuses to ride the trot. she has proper substitute for it, and her seat is gener- ally admirable. Though l greatly ,dmire a square trot when well rid len in side-saddle, it is really the 'ise Cn this gait which makes so many crooked female riders. This ought not to be go; but ladies are apt io resent too mrsoh severity in in struction, and without strict obedi- ence to her master lady never learns to ride gracefully and stoutly. In the South ladies ride habituallv, and, moreover, rack, single-foot and canter are not only graceful, but straight-sitting raccs for wcman.- ratrcclus and reIeloIe.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
ALUMINIUM M-BRONZE.
HOST NOTABLE DISCOVERY.
A Probl-m Solved-the Coming Ships and Railroad Bridges
 VIII eileam Like Gold.

Aluminium is one of the 8S elements recognized by modern chemistry. It is metal resembling silver in ap- pcLrance, but only ons-fourth its weight or specific gravity. It is very malleable and ductile, and can be rolled into tine thinnest shee;s or urawn into the finest wires. It mclts at red heat. By hammering it be- comes sS hard IS iron. It is highly sonurous, and makes beautiful bells. Mixed with copper in the proportion nf i've parts aluminium 10 % copper, IL forms . metal resems sling gold, and equally unaffected by the oxygen of the atmosphere. This Is called alum iiun-broaze, ani 1t possesses, in addition to its remarkable property 0fnou-corrosiveness, atensile strength fur superior even to the best steel. It is frequently used in ths manu- lecture of iewelry, the very small production hitherto limiting its wider C-c-
 Aluminium, which by the way is the basis of alum, was discovered by d German chemist in 1928 For 30 NC.L- IT t curiosity, but in 1858 French chemist developed methoi by which it could be manufactured in sufficient quantities to give it Il commercial vatue. Still it could only be pro duced It great expense, and has usually brought in the market about $50 pc, pound. Recognizing its value 10 the arts ii once brought down to | price permitting its common use, q very large sum has lrng been promised by European capitalists to any one w!.o should find Il means for pro ,uc- ing it at a cost not exceeding $2 per pound This has not been done.
 Within ! flow months Prof. May bury, oi Cleveland, in the course of some experiments discovcred d metho oi pro -luc:ng q nore intense heat by the concentration of cleo trical currents that hal ever before been known. and by the use of this cleo tricai furnace he solved the problem of the cheaper production O: aluminium. The meal abounds in oommol clay, but emery or corundum is particularly rich in it, and of this mineral un- limited deposits are found in North Carolina. Following up his dis coveries, Prof. Maybury foani he could produce aluminium at 25 cents DOT pound, and the result promises . revolution in the metal business. The invention has been patented in this ani all other civilized countries i; company with ! capital of sl0,010,- 900 has been organized, and works arc now being erected fo- the ex- tensive manufacture of this valuable metal. In short time they will be ill full operation, whsn aluminium is expected to come into very wide use where lightness and great strength arc desired. But it is in the form of nluminum-bronze that it will be most employed. It will io- many purposes supersede steel, being much more indestructible, neither being oxidized by exposure nor liable to crys!alliGa- tion and iacture as steel Is. It will hence be the most perfect material known for railroad bridges, ship building, and q host of other pur- poses. So the day is at hand when our bridges and ships will seem made nf gold, and the present. az. of iron will Do transformed literally into a IeI.ved golden age.-tToledo Blade.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
The Mills of the Government
 GrIad Fine.

l hold it to be the particular ruin oi man who is worth anything for any other department of life to get office. The government Is big machine which grinds up the lives of those who are its servants. It saps their energies, takes away their self
 respect, and, in ninety-nine cases oul rf every one hundred, makes ma
 chine of the man it grasps with its octopus-like claws. No better ex- ample of this can be seen than in the condition of the government clerks who are in office to-day. The greater part of them lie awake at night fear ing the dawn which may turn them from their positions where they are making only bare living.-,Carp.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01

Lc Richsu's Golden B.lssEa So. CIres Chaacres, fra. and second stage, Soroson tho Legs and E dy; Sore T. 6, Eyes, Nose, etc, Coppor-c lorid B;otchaS Syphilitic atlri h, diseased Scalp, and all primary forms of the disease known 6, Syphilis. Price. $ co p-r Bottle. Le Richnu's Golden Balsnm No. 2 cures-Tertiarr. Mercurial Syphilitic Rhsu- matixm, Pains in the Bones Pains in the Head, back of tha Neck, Liberated Sore Throat Syphilitic Rash, Lumps and con t-acted Cords, Stiffness of the Limbs aal cndicate, al disease from the sys.cm, whether caused hy inl.scretion or abuse tt Mercury. leaving the bl Sod pure and healthy. Price sS % DOT I 'ottie. Lc Richnu's Golden Si .anfsh Anif dote for tho care of Gono-rhGa, Gleet, Irritation Gravel. and all Urinary or 0eni- tsl disarrangonents. Prts g.. 5o per Bottle.
 trction, for severe cas-s Q. Cono=rhra, 1nalmmato'y y Cleci. Strictur, s,Se. FrIco SI :,u ser Bottle.
 La Estchag's Golden Ointment for the xG et.ve healing cf Syphilitic s-rss, and eruptions. Pricc 9I co p. Box Ie Fichru's Co!tl~l Pl r-Scrve and Brain treatment; loss o' physi- al pew or cSccss ovcr-vork, froStrat:oa, s.c- Prfco S3 % per Box.
 T,uia rad Ecrvine.
 Sent everywhere, C. O. D., tecure,y packed per express.
 C. F. RICHARDs t co. Agents l,7 q 4.9 sankoms street. Coraer Li.y,
 s,n Franciseo. Cal.
 CIRCULAR MAILED FREY.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
Dcnnitf1S.

X boy in one of tho public schools, while engaged in defining words q few days since, made a mistake that was not a mistake. He said: "A dcma.oguc is a vessel that Eolls beer, wine, gin. whisky, or any other kinI of intoxicating liQuor."
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01

Young man: Aortic reorganization is one of the consequences of cigar cite smoking, an aortic reorganization is looked upon with complacency by the undertaken. It is sure death lIIartford Post.
The Clifton clarion., 1887-06-01
. X Prevalent Idea.

What idea is born into the world with nine men out oi ten?
 That they can successfully write for and run q newspaper.
 Where do most of them take this idca2
 Out of the world with them.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
Journalism in Sivas.
Boston Herald.

Although Sivas is city of some 10000 inhabitants, the capital of the province and commercial center of central Asia Minor, it has but one newspaper, and it is one only in name. 1t is badly printed sheet of about twelve by fifteen inches. It is the of ficial paper in every sense, being not only the medium for communicating official notices, but also owned, edited and published by the local govern ment. It has no telegraphic news. no local news, except of an official char acter, no reporters and no advertise ments; so it can hardly be called a newspaper Its publishers have a novel way of getting subscribers. Every government official, from the highest to the lowest, is subscriber. Not because he wants to be, but be- cause he is compelled to. There is no giving of chromos or inducements for clubs" The publishers have far more effective way of swelling their subscription list than by any such waste of money. It is very simple way, too. It simply consists in deducting from all officials salaries. including those of subordinates down to the lowest clerks, the amount of the annual subscription. He may take the paper or leave it. But he has to pay for it, and as there are a vast number of officials, lesser or greater, the editor has most enyia- ble position. He need never fear that terror of impecunious American edi- tors, the irate subscriber who stalks into the sanctum and issues the terri lying mandate, Stop my paper" be- cause his name was mentioned or not mentioned, as the case may be; nor has he any of the other annovances of dependence on "our esteemed subscrib- CTS" which make life burden to ed- itors in less favored lands. His is indeed happy lot, and one to make many harassed western "weo grow green with envy.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

selves. It is therefore a remedy for the most virulent epidemics which attack field and garden crops, and de- stroys such parasitic germs and fungi as the potato disease, wheat mildew. etc. In one English district this years crop of winter beans has failed on account of growth of fungus on the roots of the plants-a disease which a timely application of iron sulp1-ate would have cured.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
CONSOLING WORDS.

A Kentucky paper contained the following pathetic reference to a crushing calamity: "We deeply sym pathise with our friend Jasper P. May yberry whose fine horse, Salt Petre,' died day before yesterday. Salt Petre' was a general favorite throughout the county, having en- deared himself to all well-bred people by the beautiful time he made at the races last fall. At first it was strongly suspected that his death was the work of an incendiary, but calmer thoughts following the general enthusiasm of grief, suggested dew poison as the inn mediate cause of the demise. Weep not, friend Jasper P. Mayberry. Re- member that this is world of woe and pulling of teeth. Your noble horse cannot come to you but you can go to him. Think of the many happy hours you have spent together, not that a deeper sense of loss may sharpen the edges of your grief, but that you may draw consolation from the reflec- tion that your life has not been in vain. How we'll do we remember having shod the noble Salt Petre' while we were in the blacksmithing business several years ago, and al- though, while in a playful humor, he bit mouthful of hair off the top of our head, yet we were not angry with him, regardless of the fact that we needed the hair. We believe it was on the same occasion that Salt Petre' playfully lifted one of his hind hoofs and broke three ribs belonging to our wife's step-uncle. Even this did not excite our ire; it rather drew us nearer the noble animal. We think of all this now as we sit here in the mel low ripeness of waning day, writing these poor, simple words of farewell. Never again shall we see Salt Petre' kick up his heels and then gather a mouthful of the woolly- looking colt that sometimes persisted in lingering near the thoroughbred. Take our ad- vice, Jasper P. Mayberry, and do not throw your life away. There are times in the life of every man when he is tempted to destroy himself, but by not yielding to such an impulse he lives much longer. Jasper, old friend, you know our nature melts into sym pathy and warmly flows out to you. Mrs. Mayberry, wife of Jasper P. May berry, was buried yesterday. She had been i'll for some time.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

q dunno, but it must be the bad man."
 "Yes, and he'll get you, too, if you don't behave yourself"
 "And will he hurt me?"
 "Yes, he will"
 "HOw?"
 "Burn you"
 "Ho, I'd shoot him."
 "You couldn't"
 "Why couldn't F"
 "Oh, I don't know"
 "Then how do you know he would burn me?"
 "Oh, don't know that he would."
 "Then what made you say that he would?"
 "For gracious sake, give me little peace."
 "A little piece of breatl?" he asked, while his eyes twinkled with mis- chief.
 "Hush, sir; hush. Not another word out of you. Take your dirty hands away from my face'
 "I want to hug you"
 "Well, hug me, then, and sit down" :"
 "You love me, don't you?"
 "Yes, little angel" she said, press ing him to her bosom.
 "More than all the houses an rail- roads an steamboats put together?"
 "Yes."
 To the mother the days were dragged over the field of time, like the dead body of an animal. In misery lest her son should cause offense, she watched him, and, at table, hushed him. The proprietor's wife scolded him, and at last the little fellows spirit was cowed. He crept through the hall, and, on tiptoe, to keep from wearing out the carpets, he moved through the house. He would shrink when he saw the proprietor's wife, and in his sleep he muttered apologies and declared that he would be good. One morning he awoke with burn- ing fever.
 "I wish you would come in and see my little boy" said the mother, ad- dressing the proprietor's wife. She went in. The little fellow looked at her, and, as deeply troubled expres- sion crossed his face, said:
 '1 won't wear out the carpet"
 "Why, no, you won't hurt the car pet. Get up and run on it all you want to-"
 ''I can't, now"
 But you can after awhile"
 Days of suffering; nights of dread Every ything had been done and the doctor had gone home. A heart bro ken woman buried her face in the bed clothes. The proprietor's wife, with tears streaming down her face, stood looking upon wasted face which had, only a short time before, beamed with mischief.
 Little boy" she said, 'dear little fellow, you are going to leave us. You are going to heaven"
 "No," he taintly replied, 'H will be in the way, and they won't let me laugh there."
 A long silence followed and then the old woman whispered:
 "He is gone."
 A man with heavy boots walked on the carpet ill the hall.-Opie ?. Read
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

The Henk Mineral Spring and Bot tling Company, Waukesha, Wis, of which A. c. Henk is manager, is one of the live business concerns of that popular resort. They give special at tention to bottling the Natural Min eral Spring water, which as a medi- cine relieves and cures all urinary ail- ments, and as beverage is refreshing and delicious. They also manufacture from the water the famous Belfast Ginger Ale, which is 8 pleasant drink containing all the medicinal virtues of the water.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
yare chillun it would CT been all

yare chillun it would CT been all right"
 "Eph, honey"
 "Doan yer honey me; femme tell yer right yare, doan yer honey me. Pse got money ernuff ter take myself inter de show-me an de chillun-an' we'se gwine, an eff yer comes arter us, blame eff we doan' fling rocks at yer. Oar stal's CT muiey COW. Reckon yer better git her ter shuperone yerse'f back home. Come on, chillun, an' les go ter de show"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
NEW SCHOOL OF HUMOR.

"Do you wish to see me?" said the managing editor of great daily news paper, addressing scientific choking man who had entered the room and who stood gazing at & solemn picture which hung on the wall.
 "Yes, sir" replied the visitor, ad- vancing and taking seat. 'I come to you," said he, after wiping his brow, mot as the avy-footed treader in the tracks of others, but as the fore runner of new school of literary workers"
 -"Well, proceed" i" said the managing editor.
 s'l am about to establish school of realistic humor," the visitor continued, "and 1 offer to your paper the honor of bringing it out A close study of American and Russian realism in fic- tion has convinced me that there should be realism in fun. Now, let me put question to you. Do you not grow tired of the forced rolick- someness and high dancing grotesque- ness of American humor?"
 The editor sighed deeply and ad- mitted that he did.
 "Of course you do," continued the visitor. "You grow SO tired that you want relief. As we advance in learn- ing, we should advance in every intel lectual enjoyment, and as humor is an intellectual enjoyment, it should keep pace with us. There is nothing in the horse laugh; nothing in the lilly gig gle. These must give place to the quiet smile of absolute truth. The humor of the future must be as intro- spective as the character drawing of MT. Howells. It must make you smile and at the same time make you inquire into the cause of that smile."
 And you propose to establish school"
 "Of realistic humor, yes.''
 "How?"
 By writing true humor instead of e,:aggeration."
 "That seems to me to be an impos- sibility, since laughter is the exagger- ation of certain emotion"
 "Oh, I don't want people to laugh. l want them to smile quietly. Here is paragraph, the first of the new school" He handed the editor the following:
 "John Dillingham; smiled as he got out of bed the other morning. 'John,' said his wife, why do you smile?' I was thinking,' said he. Of what?' Of old man Jackson.' sWhy of him?' I don't know What did he do?' Nothing 'Then why did you smile when you thought of him?' Because l don't know why should think of him. Why should you not think of him?' Because he does not owe me anything"
 "What do you think of that?" the visitor asked.
 "Gloriousw
 "My dear sir, you make me very happy. You agree with me, then?"
 Enthusiastically"
 "When shall take a place on your paper?"
 "Now."
 "Thank you. Oh, knew that all had to do was to explain myself. The next issue will contain an announce ment ot me, presume."
 "Yes."
 "Can you give me some idea of what it will be?'
 "What is your name?"
 "J. l.. Buxton Riggle."
 "Well, our paper will contain the following: We are delighted to announce the awful, though timely, death of J. l.. Buxton Riggle, who yesterday was thrown from the top story of our office by philanthropist. He Whats your hurry? Why, it must be characteristic of your school to hold short session."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
s'Say-

The American realists have turned upon MT. Rider Haggard in resent ment of the declaration that there is nothing so dull as an American novel. The realists say that Mr. Haggard is a plagiarist; MT. Haggard says that the realists are not anything.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

A Different Vine Altogether "What delicious drink I" said an ag- riculturally ignorant young woman, who was slipping some kumyss at the cattle chow. "Is it made from the product of the grApe- vine, George?"
 "No," replied George, 'sit Is made from the product of the bovine" Lije.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

The Benefit of Proper Exercise Jay Gould recovered his health by in- dulging in Field sports.-Life.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

The real reason why negroes live to such an extreme old age is that they don't know exactly when they were born.-AShoe and Leather Reporter.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
LIM NINGS.

Vanity is necessary to human hap piness. We are always unhappy when we place the correct estimate upon ourselves.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
TO CONTRIBUTORS.

Under no circumstances will rejected manu- scripts be returned. We dc not pay for mat ter unless it be specially ordered.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13

Conversation between two Chicago men.
 "Say, when'd you come out?" "To-day. Say, this is a pretty nice place, ain't it?"
 Say"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
SOLD BY ALI NEWSDEALER&
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION

Any part of the United States or Canada,
 one year, postage paid, s2.OO Mexico, England, France Germany and
 all countries embraced in Universal
 Postal Union one year, postage paid 2.55 Other countries, S2.00 u year, postage added. Postmasters, or others, sending us three or more yearly subscriptions to THE ARKANsAw TRAVELLER, may retain 25 per cent. of sub scription price as commission.
 Cash must in all cases accompany orders for subscriptions.
 Unless renewed, names are promptly re- moved from list at end of term paid for.
 Requests of subscribers to have their papers mailed to a new address, to secure attention, must mention former as well as present ad dress
 Send money by Post -ofice order, Express money order, bank draft or registered letter Address, READ & BENHAM,
 -7 7S CALUMET BUILDING, CHICAGO, ILL
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
RADWAY'S PILLS.

The Great Liver and Stomach Remedy. For the cure of all disorders of the Stomach Iivsr Bowels, Kidneys Bladder. Nervous DseaAes Ioss 0f Appetite, Headache, Costiveness Ip(ii9pafion Baliousn. ss, Fever, Infamma atlon of inc Bowels' r1les and all Arrangements of the Internal Viscera fureiy vegetable. containing no mercury mineraIs or deleterious drugs. Price sS Cents Per Box Sold by all druggists
 "A FINE, sURE MEI ICINx"
 kArwAy Co;.GeBtiemen: Your Pills have otten warded on sickness in my family. never think 1t safe to be without them they are a sne sure medicine Nest respectfully YoIrs.
 CHxsASsE, froquois Co., III.
 WAAs fhyskesan AAys sf RnAwsy's FsFsn
 am using your R. R. Relief and your Regulating f1iis and nave recommended them above si, piiIs snd sen great many of them. have them on nana AIways, and use them in my practice and in mS own family and expect to- in preference of aIl Ds. A. c. MIDDLEBRooK.
 ID " . PIE P STA.
 D6 KADMAHB RnLA are . cure for this and enable 1t to perform its functions me symp- toms ~ Dyspepeta disappear, and with them tfse lsoanty of the syseem to c0ntFacf diseases -Sena q letter stamp to m. kADWAY q O0 NS - W0FRG0 m4Reo4, H~W YNW1r.
 AnfornAfton worth tho0sands will be sent to TO THE PURLIc.-Be sure and ssk for rAn- what you buy. - - -