Morning journal and courier., 1887-02-12
ERG ETC.

If an energetic hen is on the wrong lay l she ought to be set right.-New Orleans Pic | ayune.
 1 The frequent changes in the cabinets O.
 Europe lead one to believe that the ministers | are Methodists. Chronicle.
 "Yes," said Mrs. Seldomhit, 'fI keep of | the evil spirits now by wearing an omeiet
 around my neck."-New Orleans Times l Democrat.
 Emersons says, "As long as I am in my
 place I am safe." That's what they tell 8 | man when he first sits down on toboggan Burlington Free Press. | A woman who was lost in the woods ot l New Hampshire for three days said that the most she suffered from was in not haviny her knitting along.-Detroit Free Press. He hadn't Heard of It.-She (emerging | from the theatre)-How absurd it is for any
 one to say that Bacon wrote "The Tanning of | the Shrew!" He-Why, of course it is. I l didn't know that Daly's authorship had been 1 questioned.-Life.
 1 Some of the most peculiar people to be l found are those who are ''the best fellows in | the world when they are sober" according | to common report. The peculiarity of them l is that you never meet them when they are not under the influence of liquor, and you do not meet them then if you can avoid it, New Orleans Picayune.
 The coal handlers strike is spreading. A small boy at the south end has systematical- ly neglected to bring up the morning hodtdl for several days As the last time he WAS seen he was going down cellar in company with his father and a skate strap it is be- lieved that the matter will be settled by ar
 bitration.-Boston Transcript.
 They have devised a new test for incipient
 intoxication in the following, which must be
 repeated at the rate of 200 words 8 minute
 ''If the white bootblack blacks the black
 bootblack's boot, will the black bootblack's
 boot be blacked? If the white bootblack
 what will the black bootblack do?'-Spring- field Union.
 Two old men lamenting the changes that
 have taken place. First old man (sadly)-
 ''I cannot enjoy myself as I could when I was boy. 1 can't eat half as much" Sec ond old man-"I cannot eat as much now as
 I could whom was boy, but regard that as rather 6 wise provision" ''Why so?' ''Because haven't half as much to eat."- Arkansaw Traveller.
 | Hard work with the infant clas s.-School teacher-''Johnnie, what is the third letter l of the alphabet?'' Johnnie-"You never l told me, num-" School teacher-''Yes, I
 have. What do you do with your eyes?''
 Johnnie-'Dont know, num-" School
 teacher-"Well, Bertie, you've got your
 hand raised; you may tell us what Johnnie
 does with his eyes," Bertie-'FHe squints. J | lid Bits.
 The Difference.-A little New York boy is
 reading newspaper. Looking up, he says: l Aldermen are called city fathers, ain't they,
 pap "Yes, my son." "Well, what's the
 difference between them and other fathers?'
 ''The difference is very similar. As general
 thing, the sons run i'll debt and their fathers
 have to pay; but the city fathers contract l debts and their sons and even their grand l sons have to pay That's the difference my | son. n."-TeXas Siftings.
 What is your number, my pretty maid:'' Two and half, good sir she said. II fear they won't fit you my pretty maid,' You go and bring them, sir she said. l Here is your number, my pretty maid.'' 1 Unto himself he 'siSes'' said. Two and a halfs just pleased the maid | Where shall send them, miss?'' he said. l New York Journal.