davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
THE WORST SORE HEAD.

Have been in the drug and medicine business
twenty-five years. Have been selling your Gu
TICuRA REMEDIES since they came West They
lead all others in their line. We could not write
nor could you print all we have heard said in
favor of the CUIICURA REMEDIES One year ago
the CUrICURA and SOAR cured a little girl in our
house of the worst sore head we ever saw, and
the REsoLvENT and CUTICURA are now curing a
young gentleman of sore leg, while the physi-
clans ere trying to have it amputated. 1t will
save his leg and perhaps his life. Too much
cannot be said in favor of CuTICUTA REMEDIES.
S. B. SMITH & BRO.
CovINGTON KY
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Gladstone Satisfied With the Rapid
Change of Public Opinion.

LONDON August 26th.-In an interview with a
representative of the press to-day, Gladstone in
reply to a question Us to whether he expected
defeat of the Government tonight, said: " No,
we don't expect to do that, but the fact that q
year ago the Governments majority was 10.
while now the most sanguine Conservatives only
anticipate majority of sixty ON proclaiming
the League, shows what tremendous change
has come over the face of the country. The
change is coming more rapidly than many
people imagine, and in fact quite fast enough"
Gladstone seemed to be in high spirits. and
declared he was in excellent health.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
WASHINGTON TERRITORY.
Proposed Railrosd frem Port Townsend
to Portland.

lCcrsTSS, sS7. By the ca'lorsa Associated Press
PORT TOWNSEND, August 2Gth.-Articles of in
corporation OF the Port Townsend and Southern
Railroad Company have bee,, Completed and
viii be flee in few days. Capital. $1,000, 600
The railroad viii be built frog PoIt Townsend
20 connect with Portland. Or The surveyors
Will be at work inside of thirty DAYS on The pro
posed line, AMI the line viii b built rapidly
Within year she cars viii be TS,Sning into this
CITY
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

A RRIVED. - NJ L S .
"A DIR. WESTWCOD,
world-renowned trance
clairvoyant, the sew
enth daughter, born
with Il double veil; has
the power Of any two
clairvoyants you ever
met; tells your entire
life, past, present and
future, in a deadtrance.
Every hidden mystery
revealed. Tells full
names of her callers
and full name of future
husband or wife, with
age and date of mar
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Iron Works for Washington Territory.

Copyright. 1887, by The California associated Press
NEW YORK, August 26th.-TSpecial 1.-The Moss
Bay Hematite lion and steel Company, of Eng
land, manufacturers of the brand of Moss Bay
pig iron have decided to establish in a short
time duplicate works in Washington Territory.
The point selected for the location of the works
is about sixteen miles from the Northern Pacific
Railroad and about forty-five miles from Seattle.
The works will be reached from the Northern
Pacific main line by branch road
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
BORN.

Sacramento, August 1S-Wife of Il. B. Brecken-
field. a son.
Sacramento, August 25-Wife of Eugene C.
Gruhler, a son-stillborn
Benicia August 25-Wife of H. n. Plate, of Ma
tonla, daughter.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
CAPTAIN LAWSON attacked.

n Dh-Sf Hf|zkIs F8uEi 1.EFOHIkD.
pRsysS, August 10th, The Republicans s,en.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
a CLOSE CALL.

The Gar Barely Escapes an Assassin's
Bullet.
Copyright, 1887, Gs le California Associated Press
BERLIN, August 26th.-lt is reported that d
fresh attempt to kill the Car was made on the
Goth instant A Nihilist disguised as an officer
of the guards approached the Impeii al carriage
on the journey from st. Petersburg to Kras
shot missed the Gar, but the second perforated
his coat
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Racing at Dixon.
lceeyiga, 1857, BY ae California ,.,,o.n.es yr,,,

Icts3tgI iss9I 5y tae Cq!.faFTia Assoaatcd Press
DIxoS, August 26th.-The second DAYS racee
OF me FAN Meeting of the Dixon Trottirg Asso-
clalion was witnessed by a large crowd
ne nrst wss the unfinished buggy race which
Alice won. Best tine, 22.22s}
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
TERRIBLE DISASTER.
Fifteen Excursionists Drowned In the
British Channel
WEST INDIES.

LONDON, August 26th.-The excursion yacht
Monarch was capsized by squat in the British
Channel to-day, and fifteen persons were
drowned.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

Observation-Disclosures II, Baltimore 70.
LoUIsvILLE-Louisville II, Brooklyn o.
Observation-Disclosures 7, Cleveland /.
ST. LoUIs-St. Louis 10, Metropolitans 6.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
A Public Meeting Charged by Police
SayeraI Vniurad

HAVANA, August o6th.-The excitement ovel
the removal of the officials of the Custom house
by the Governor-General is undated Two
thousand people holding demonstration ovel
the affair in the Park last night were charged
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
NOT THEIR KIND.
Grand Army Veterans Show Their Dis
like for Cleveland

WHEELING (W. Va, August 26th.-Ihe men,
bers OF the Grand Army who participated in
the demonstration to-day refused TO pass under
the portrait of President Cleveland which was
suspended from the Register Office. The entire
column made detour and dropped their col
ors in passing the picture There were over
300 veterans in line from Pennsylvania Ohio
ana West Virginia.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

DUBLIN, August 26th.-At n meeting of land
lords to-day deputation was appointed TO wait
on the Government Ministers and urge them to
consider their claims in arranging the terms of
the land-purchase bill.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

WASHINGTON, August 26th.-The President to-
day appointed Alexander McCue, of New York,
the present Solicitor of the Treasury to be Com
missioner of Fish and Fisheries, to succeed the
late Professor Baird. The appointment will not
necessitate the REIMBURSEMENT of his present
position. 1t is not known who will be appointed
Secretary of the Smithsonian Institution in place
of Professor Baird.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

ATLANTA (Ga.), August 26th.-At last the ak
has fallen, and the Ubiquitous convict-labor sys-
tenn of Georgia will have to go, by an Executive
order signed under great excitement. Governor
Gordon has called on the lessees of Penitentiary
companies Nos. and 3 to show cause why their
leases should not be annulled, and there is no
doubt as to the Governors Intention to declare
the leases annulled, owing to violation of their
provisions.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

NOR sALE-A RESTAURANT DOING A
Il good busine IS; the reason for selling is the
owner wishes TO leave the city. Inquire at No.
1927 Eighth street. au2S-lWs
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
The HeaIth OF Rome.
French Army Mobilization.

the health of this city is excellent Reports
that the epidemic was prevalent here are de-
clared unfounded
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Outrage on Americans.

BosToN, August 26th.-Rev Edward F Downe.
the missionary of the American Board at Pom
ape, in the Caroline Islands, who was arrested
three weeks ago and imprisoned by the Spanish
the natives to disloyalty, has been released
Mr.. Smith, Foreign Secretary of the Foreign
Board, says the American Government may find
it necessary to send war ship to the Caroline
Islands to protect the interests of our citizens
The United States cannot afford to have an out
rage perpetrated on American missionaries
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
THE BALL OPENED.
a Sharp Fight with Colorow's War
riors.

riors.
DENVER, August 26th.-Teiegrams received
here this afternoon from Meekar DENY the re-
ports o; yesterday that Colorow is surrounded
Dy the militia and desires peace. The Indians
are entrenched in the hills and so protected by
natural Qualifications that their DISAGREEMENT by
all the State militia combined would be i'm
possible.
Colorow yesterday said that he did ,ad.s want
" little fight" but he did want big figat."
and they would have it If the troops were not
called back Injun not afraid OF busaloes
.eoloredl or white soldiers
CAPTAIN LAWSON ATTACKED
Captain lawson, who was returning to Ne,.J,..r
OF "wednesday afternoon from Camp Adans
xt1e kilograms, was headed of and Chased
twenty miles up Piceance creek and held bv the
Indians until darkness permitted him to esIare
They stuck him, about dusk, at bridge which
crosses taeeance, and fred ON him rsDeateily
while chasing him.
Captain Lswson returned the fire twice while
running. He reached Meeker early Yesterday
morning. completely fatigued. IF a fight BE-
avoided until the arrival of Governor adams.
the trouble may be amicably settled. but if the
militia and Indiass2 clash before his arrival. n
Is the opinion of settlers that the war win last
for months.
DESPERATE fight REPORTED.
pEyysH, August 10th The .Reputyican's 6lep-
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

PARIS, August 26th.-The Seventeenth army
corps has been selected for the modifying ex-
pertinent, Tor which the Government has ar
ranged. Final instructions to the commanding
officers were issued this morning.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Powder Explosion at Ell Paso.

Ell PAso, August 26th.-At 10 o'clock this
morning q powder explosion occurred at the
Union Powder Works seven miles from this
city. A new machine for mixing the ingredi-
ents was being turned by boy. He failed to
fcient to ignite sixty lone pounds OF material in
the machine. Doe. Smart was caught in the
flame and frightfully burned. The boy escaped
with slight burns
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Visiting the Indians.

ST. PAUL (Minn.), August 26th. - Senators
Dawes and Morgan, of the Senate Special Com
mIttee on the allotment of land in severalty to
Indians, arrived to-day ON their way to the
White Earth Reservation. 1t Is intended to take
measures locking 10 making the Indians along
the northwestern frontier selfsupporting.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Farewell Address to Young Men ONLY,

DY REV E &. Ollie, D. D., SUNDAY AT.
ID ternoon at $50 o'clock at Young Mems
Christian Association Hsls, Sixth street. Male
Chois spc Orchestra su27-It
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Campaign Histories.

-, ~ ~; aus uee -o.iuenelal Olah'
ceived and had printed the testimony in eight
contested cases to come before the next Con-
gress. The California eases are Sullivan VS..
FELTON, ana Lynch VS.. Vandever. The entise
testimony in the contest makes nearly 10 900
pages, that of Sullivan VS.. FELTON, being the
u,pst yolumiDOus
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Races In the East,


SARATOGA, August 26th.-There was fair at
tendance at the races to-day. The weather was
fine, and the track. though slow, was in better
condition than yesterday.
The first race, three-quarters OF a mile, Matte
Louriam won, King Crab second, Daneilla third.
Time, 1:l9
The second race, one mile and furlong,
Alaric won, Hypasia second, Tramp third.
The third race, three-quarters of a mile, Little
Minnie won, Swift second, Mamie Hunt third.
The fourth race, three quarters of a mile Mod
esty won, Queen Bess second, Csrissima third.
Time, l:1734.
The fifth race, one mile and seventy yards,
Orlando won, George L. second, Moonshine
third. Time, 1:55.
TRorTING AND FACING.
ALBANY On. ", August 26th.-The attend
ance at the Circuit races to-day was quite large
The DDS class Atlantic won, White Socks sec
ond, Ben Star third. Best time, 2:2l14
The free-for- all pacing Gossip, Jr. won Jennie
Lind second, Little Mac and Joel L. ruled out.
Best time, 217.
second, Jessie Ballard .third-the others dis
tanced. Best time 2:25i4
Miss Myrtle Peck, in the Roman standing race
against time. broke the record in l:5lL She
also beat Miss Ada Lamont in the three mile
change race in 6:2S1%.
Yesterdays Ball Games
WASHINGTON, August 26th-The Senators
played another miserable game to-day and In
dlanapolis won easily. Score-Indianapolis 6,
Washington 1.
VAN HALTREN HELPS CHICAGO ALONG.
NEW YORK. August 26th.-The Giants gave a
worse exhibition to-day than Chicago did yes
| terday. Van Haltren's excellent pitching COM
bined with the Giants poor work, gave Chicago
| the game. Score-Chieago s. New York >.
DETROIT KEEPS AHEAD.
| PHILADELPHIA, August 26th.-Conway's good
| pitching and the general hard work of Detroit
! won them to-days game. The Philadelphias
played listlessly. Score-Detroit 7, Philadel-
phia 3.
| OTHER GAMES
| CINCINNATI-Cincinnati II, Baltimore 10
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS II. BROOKLYN O.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
California shipbuildIng.

CHICAGO, August 26th.-United States Senator
Morgan, OF Alabama, in interview here yes
terday, said. among other things, that the build
ing of United States war-ships on the Pacific
coast was giant stride in the right direction.
and he predicted that California would turn out
a vessel which would be credit to the naval
armament OF any nation. He said that he was
the author of the bill which made it compulsory
to build one of the vessels on the Pacific coast
and was satisfied that the movement was good
one and in the right direction.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

New YORK AuguRt 26th.-Thos +. Gilroy, Re-
ceivef Cor Mitchell. Vance & Co., thinks the
company Will be abe e pay 100 cents on the
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Ranch Hands Robbed.
iCopmiqht. 1857. 1y the Ca,ifo,,,;a

iC9ppig, 1857, by The California associated Press
GRIDLEY, August 26th.-A burglary occurred
at the ranch OF NJ. Biggs, Jr., four miles north.
east of this place, last night. The thrashing
crew of J. F. Crannon also some of the rancb
hands in the employ of Mr.. Biggs, were robbed
of between $50 and 500, together with four
watches valued at $40. II is thought TO be the
work of the same gang who robbed the ranch OF
U. D. Setter and Hazelbusch Bros
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
Prohibition Candidates.

Syracuse IN. ". August 2sth.-The Prohibit
tionists to-day nominated the following officers:
For Secretary or state, D. W. C. Huntingdon for
Controller c. B. Hitchcock; Attorney General
s. W. Mason; Treasurer, w. W. Smith.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

Copyright, 1887, by the California AssOciGted Press
PHILADELPHIA August 26th-lSpeciaI. The
LedgeT says editorially: CLAUS Spreckels. of
Sandwich Island sugar and the one-sided reel
procity treaty fame, is said to be looking into
the beet-root sugar manufacture on the CONT
nent of Europe. He has had the back-door of
this continent held open for some time for his
Hawaiian sugars free by treaty. In the beet
in California by highly-successful experiment
in growing sugar from beets, made in place of
the favored cane-sugar from Spreckels supply
This country is broad enough for several expert
rpa y,ts
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27

Copyright, 1887. by the California associated Press
NARYsyILLE, August 26th.-James Fairclough
saloon keeper, was arrested to-day for battery
on his paralyzed wife. She was found badly
bruised in cellar He says she annoyed kim,
and that he carried her into the cellar and left
her there. He was tried this afternoon found
guilty and will be sentenced tomorrow. He
had been drinking IN eyceSc
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
FOREIGN TOPICS.
REMARKABLE CHANGE In ING.
LfSH OPINION.
The Gladstone ResoIution-The Gar
in Denmark-Health of Rome
An Ocean Disaster.
ENGLISH SENTIMENT.

Especial DISPATCHES To TIE RrooED-usIos.l
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
why the Bank Failed.

KANSAS CITY, August Goth II. A. Werner,
President, and C. II. sleeps, Cashier of the First
National Bank of Burlington, Ks, were ar
rested to-day on a charge of embezzling the
funds OF the bank, which recently failed.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
w. P. Coleman,
ZEAL ESTATE sALEsRooM,
22R r street ca,~ar.,&.

$125 per acre. 100 acres, Q miles
southeast of the city. just off the
Sprinkled Road; no dust; this is a
part of the Sargent Tract, and the
best kind Of Fruit land; can be
subdivided into small lots. This
piece is offered at the above price
for a very limited time. Be sure
and look at it.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-08-27
1t WouId Probably Be Accented.

New YORK. August 25th.-Experis who hav
examined the books of the ". o. Tyler Pape
Company report the liabilities to be 500 6d1
and the assets sl69, COO, leaving deficit OF $3.50.
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-05-20
F0URQUREAN, PRICE & CO.
42s East Broad Street and 2O6 North Fifth Street.
RICHMOND, VA.


o. and
h Il
lsOa0 y ties b
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-05-20
SILKS, VELVETs, AND PLUsHEs.


lr
Novelties in
Va D. ran De- % u 4
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-05-20

An Abbreviated Question.
Nov SHAT would you think Of 10, Mr.,
f sou hai pretty young ST.,
And au impudent chap
Should SO ia her lap,
AM refuse 10 get up tlll he'd krf
-BostoD Record
The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-05-20
LINEN DEPARTMENT

Splendid values TABLE pAMAsK and W RkEl RED In 7 So 49, and from Soc
ctut bargains 1qk and i1.k Iow te ,1.,i IIt
ttfs beautiful patterns
MAIL DEPARTMENT
"a
border t,Innp on ~ ID -ntf p.
h. Np.T r. ar j
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
MIDDLE-AGED MEN
Who are troubled


with too freqnrnt evacuItio of rhe bladder
often acc'mpaui"d by slight smarti g or
burning sensation, and n weakening of the avs
ten III manner they cannot account for TO-
Ply Sediment in the urine. etc. Many die of
this difficulty ignorant of the cause. which Is
the second Stage of seminal W akne-s.
CUREs GUARANTEED IN ALL SUCH CAsEs
CoEsutniI II FREQ. thorough exrmina tion
and aivice. including chemical annly-is and
microscopic examination or the urine, s.. An
honest opinion given in every case.
Tie following Medicines supplied at tho
prices named:
SIR ASHLEY CooPERS VITAL REsTOIs
ATIVE, So II bottle, or four timns the quantity,
so. SAMPLE Il Il rLE FRHE.
Sent to any one applying by letter. stating
symptoms. sex and age. Strict secrecy in re,
gard to all busines transactions.
The celeb n;od Kidney Remedy, hFpHR ET-
ICUM, for all kind of Kidney and Bladder
Complaints, GonnrrhGa. elect. Leucorrhea.
e;c. For sale hy all druggists; 81 bottle, ur
bOtileA Tor 81 %.
rhe English DANDELIoN. liver AND
pYSPi PSlA PILL, is The best in the mnrE..t
For sale ly all druggists: price, so cents bot
tie Address. a-a
ENGLISH MEDICAL DIsPENSA:r,
No. II KEAWNY ST., SAN Fra NcIsco, CAL.
feb -l6-d&w-Iy.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
q M GhuSN
IL Kearnv Street,

IL Kearnv Street, San Francisco.
Nervous Deb lity, Seminal Weakness. ES.
hauS'ed vita ity. Spernator' hoea, Lost Man.
hood, -Impotency, Paralysis. Pro. tniorrhm,
and all the terrible effects of elf-abuse. a, d
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oiy Lassiiudc. Nocturnal Emissions, aversion
tn society. Dim ess OF Vision. Noises in the
h"a ;. the Vital fluid p ssing unobServed Oi the
urine' and many other diseases that lead 10 in-
sani and death
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
YOUNG rIEN

Suffering from arv of the above SYMPTOMS
should consult us at once. The drain can be
stopped, vital ty r'srored. and ife be nlade
Hgftn pleasure instead of u burden
There are mRny
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
DAILY INDEPENDENT.
ISSUED EVERY DAY, SUNDAYS En-
Il cepted.
C. w. GROVER,
Editor and Proprietor
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.

enc copy, one year...........>......- $40 90
one copy. six nspnths. .>.... ..>>.>.>.... g ~
For any peii ID under six months, one dollar
Der month. Payable in advance.
delivered Dy carrier in ElKo at % cents a week.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
THE WEEKLY INDEPENDENT.

Published every Sunday, and sent TO airy adj
dress tpostagc paidJ, at .he following rates,
payAbls in advance:
One year. ...-.....---............ s. 90
hix mon'hs... .,>.,........>...~ ..~........ 60
For any period undsr six months, Fifty
Cents per month. ..-.-# o..
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1887-04-14
ADVERTISING RATES.

sound business principles. Apply 1T the Of
hce for terms.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1887-01-14

exception he seems in very good health
and spirits. The second is a blooming
damsel, who has seated herself in the
long-used hammock and is busying her
self with the Encouragement of the sling
aforementioned.
ETHEL"
Miss Ethel looks up to find a pair Of
dark eyes watch her quizzically.
ETHEL, dear, do you realize what
very triumphant income 1 repre-
sentln
Nonsense" is the only answer vouch.
safed, though it is accompanied by a
brilliant blush.
"No diamonds, no Worth costumes to
speak Oft is positively heartrending to
see a young woman sacrifice herself in
this manner
'Jack, do you mean to make me seri-
ously angryp
"By no means, my dearest; but Ethel,
l thought they were such lnsuperable
objections to marrying poor man"
Miss Ethel bends lower over her
work.
II changed my mind" she says
softly.
MIR. Lindsay laughs heartily; then he
stoops and kisses the little hand which
lies on his arm
Inconsistency, thou art jewelw