The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-12-17
MISCELLANEOUS.

Nhtil WINS DuI lItJIc here DcIOW, thti
it is to be regretted that the same can
not be said of woman.
Mrs. Darlington, who is great sui
ferer from toothache, declares that she
almost wishes she had been born with
out any tceth.-Harper'S Bazaar.
Only 100000 women in this coun-
try have to work for money, and all the
rest of the women get their money for
nothing. What in the world are they
kicking form Y Commercials Aduer-
tsSer.
The collection of the National
Museum is to be enriched with the head
of veritable sea serpent. The reptile
was captured in the Gulf of Mexico,
but on account of its immense size only
its head could be obtained.
An eighty-ton flat car, the longest
ever constructed in this country, is
building at the Lehigh Valley at Pack
erton. Pa, for the purpose of hauling a
piece of machinery from New York to
Bethlehem, Pa. 1t will be three times
as long as the ordinary fiat car.
H. F. Snedigar, of Iroquois, D. T.,
has prairie yacht in which he skins
over the country. 1t consists simply of
an ordinary road wagon to which sails
are attached and there IS steering APP
paratus in front. He recently travelled
from IroquOis to Huron, distance of
eighteen miles, in an hour and a half,
with light wind.
Where are you going this evening,
Charley?" said one young man to an
other. Going to call on Miss Clara.
But you went to see Miss Annie this
summer" Eyes. You see Annie
doesn't like ice-cream, and Clara doesn't
like oysters, and so I 90 to see Annie
in the summer and Clara in the win
ter Washington Critic.
The forest lands of the United
States, excluding Alaska, embrace $780,
900, 900 acres, or % per cent. of the en-
tire area. The farmers own about SO
per cent. of the forest area, or some
1S5, 100000 acres. The rest is owned
by railroad corporations, mine owners.
charcoal burners, tanneries, lumber
men and spectators.
--Cod-liver oil is now taken into the
system with maccaroons and taffy. A
single maccaroon or square of taffy is
made to contain tablespoonful of oil,
but so completely disguised chat chill
dren eagerly swallow the sweets with
out suspicion, while their elders CRATE
fully commend this most successful ex-
perinent in the interest of medicine
Come right out and say what you
mean. Mr.. Crimsonbeak. said the
clearinghouse mistress; II dislike to
have any one make any bones of any
thing at my table" Its quite impos-
sible," replied the young man, CHANGING
at the fowl just brought in, ''to make
bones of something that is bones al
ready. - Yonhers Statesman.
Papa, what is confidence man?"
inquired bright but somewhat in
quisitive youth of the author of his be-
ing. Confidence men, my son, are
generally bank presidents who have all
the confidence in the world in their
cashiers until they abscond with the
funds of the bank, and then they are
victims of misplaced confidence. -
Boston 7rarelLer.
One of the most absent-minded
men in Buffalo was sitting in his hotel
room in the dark the other evening,
when one of the hall boys came in with
note for him. The man took it, hunted
for match to light the gas, couldn't
fad one, stuck the note in the CRATE,
set it blazing, lighted the gas, threw
the burning fragment into the CRATE,
and then hunted high and low for the
note that he wanted to read.
"A mule deer and fallow buck,
whose pens in the Philadelphia zoolog-
zeal gardens were separated by fence,
got together the other night, and were
found in the morning with their horns
interlocked in deadly combat 1t re-
quired the eXertions of three keepers
to separate them, and when this was
accomplished the deer chased the men
from the pen. The keepers triumphed
in the end.
A Millerstown CO., young man
not long since wrote two postal cards
on entirely different subjects. He then
turned them over and addressed them,
but by mistake placed the addresses on
the wrong cards. The result was that
the shirt-maker in Harrisburg got II
polite invitation to take q carriage-ridc
in Huff Wards barouche. while the
young mans girl was made frantic by
receiving the following: please send
me sample of the stuff your shirts
are made OF"
One who claims to know of what
he is speaking says that sealskins are
expensive, not because they are scarce,
but because the trade limits the supply.
II all the skins that could be taken were
poured on the market, the fur would
become so common that it would cease
to be desired by the wealthy. So the
seal catchers agree upon the total num-
Der that they will put upon the market,
and they make their report to the fur
riers of London and Paris, who meet
each spring and decide npon prices.
Tha l.,1J,,eI ,,,,,,s,. al