The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1887-03-25


that happen In any year Il would make
y langllahle story Cor the Herald. Here
Is q man. for instance, who wrote as
10 send him the price of q hundred
books Of about 500 pages each. Can
you conceive anything more ambiglousf
Il reminds me 0f 4 lady Of the shodsiY
aTistOcraey who 0sslered a bookcase
filed by dealer. her Gully stipulation
being that the hooks must be Of uni.
form size and b0Hnd 10 blue covers.
We had an order last month from q
gentleman on the frontier 10 send
books 10 eight af hls friends. whose all
dresses he gave. the volumes 10 cost IS
each. As We did not know his friends
IL Is possible that we made some ineon-
gruous selections
cit Is common for us 10 receive d.
rections by mail about Christmas-time
like this: Send me a book costing
about - which would be suitable for
my husband Not knowing whether
the husband Is a clergyman or faro
banker Il h rather hard 90 dacitle what
would be s.saitable" for him. We
usually seleet some work Of high moral
tone, 20 be on the safe side, but very
likely the man would prefer ''Schneek
on Poker" or one Of Z0la's works IL he
had his choice. Sometimes people
write; Send me the latest thing you
have leaving us In the dark whether
% forward u book Of poems, novel,
or a volume of sermons. Some of our
customers have the autograph rage.
One Of them wrote little while ago
asking II we would please get Mr..
Owen Meredith to send his name In his
own handwriting. This customer
seemed 20 think that the late Lord
Lieutenant Of India and Earl In the
English Peerage was In the habit Of
dropping into our store once or twice q
day.
Book buyers often get a wrong
idea of work from It's title, as i'm the
ease of several agriculturists who have
sent 10 Us for .Sheep-folds,' under the
impression that IL relates to the COM
panions Of the small animal that Mary
allowed to follow her to the academy,
when in reality IL is a work on church
architecture. A shOemaker's wife pur-
chased Ruskin's celebrated work on
political economy entitled Unto This
Last, thinking it had something to do
with the boot business, and returned it
disguised on aseertaining her error.
A man who was told to buy n copy of
'EnOch Arden asked for In Garden
We happened to have a horticultural
work of the latter name and he took
it, but the person who sent him came
TO make the change aud that is how
we learned of his messengers mistake.
Titles are often very misleading. We
recently had a pamphlet called Letters
from Hell;' and orders fairly poured in
from orthodox societies, they suppOs-
ing that it was an Endorsement If the
fire and birthstone theory. But the
author, who was a pronounced liberal,
took skeptical ground, and it is prOba-
BILE that each of those societies had q
package ready for the junk man the
next time he called. Many people have
bought Joseph Cooks sermons think
ing that they were discourses on the
culinary art; and recent number of
our trade paper contained an account
of an occurrence in Cleveland where a
farmer bought Cooks Synopsis of
Chess Openings under the impression
that it contained recipes for making
table delicaeieS. Ii is no joke, but q
solemn fact. that a teamster dropped in
one day To ask whether we would re-
commend GOldsmitlI's Greece for
wagon axles. He had seen it adver-
tised.
"a lady wrote far a copy of Agnes
of Toronto thinking probably, that
Mrs. Stoves heroine was a girl who
wore snowshoes and rode down tOb0g-
gan slides. Another wrote: i see in
your catalogue that you have Fern
Leaves. Please write nfe the price of
the leaves BY the hundred, and wheth-
er you make any discount to Sunday
schools; we wish them to trim our
vestTy.' A lady who evidently wished
for Nathaniel Hawthorne's Grand
fathers Chair asked us the other day,
Have you sGrandfather's Clock by
Daniel HawthOrneP' There are two or
three cheStnuts that you might work
in, which are always funny. That one
about the country library list which
announced Mill on Political Economy,
ditto on the Eloss,' is too good to die.
Elderly gentlemen never tire Of dis
cussing the relative merits Of WOrces-
ter and Webster, as it gives them
chance to wind up with, Well, l al
ways voted for Daniel and go in for
him every time / believe that the
story about the man who asked for
Webster on Bridge is gospel truth.
About April our new boys catch
it from practical iokers. They are
sent hunting for such well-knOwn
works as Buckle on Straps Hem on
Laying Bacon on the Pig etc. /
suppose YOU have heard of the fellow
who surprised his French friend by
bringing him a book in the Gallie
language which he had picked up at q
sale, Something about Cannibals,' he
explained. II was Paul ct Virginie.'
Early in the holidays a boy and his
mother-somctimes / should say .
mother and her son, but this was boy
and his mother-were looking over the
stock ON our counters. Here is what
Charlie wants. cried the lad. You
know he is crazy over wild animal
stories Ibid up the book for them.
Ii was 'Montc:,lm and Wolfe.
The clerks in music stores often have
laughable experiences. A young lady
walked into one of the largest on
Washington street and said, or seemed
TO say, IL want Willie Nye." A boy
was sent TO scOur for William, and
when that young gentleman presented
himself 1t would be hard TO say wheth-
er he or the girl looked the more as
tonished. ,.Did you ask for VIII Nyea"
he said. Certainly not" she replied.
II want that new song, viii and l. y"
An entirely new clerk ut another store
came near fainting several times dur
ing his first day behind the counter,
He had hardly taken his position when
a young lady with blonde tresses and
eyes which seemed made Of bits Of
Italian sky walked up to- the counter
Fixing her orbs upon him, she said,
kiss Me, Darling. Ere You Go. :"
They had to take him out and place
him under the faucet, while another
clerk gave the customer the piece Of
music she desired. He had hardly re-
covered enough to resume his place.
when maiden Of perhaps 20 winters
remarked to him: "Ahl Would that ]
Could Love Thee Lessr' During the
severe illness which followed, his hair
turned raven black. But to-day this
clerk Is the most calloused man in the
store. All day long girls talk to him
lsk., shs.. al Nat n n.a.,rf .sfNsxa