New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-01-09
THE PLACID BERNUDT4N.


Chatting with Mr.. Allen the other evening. made the
remark that notbng would gyeme greater pleasure than
take nar,e Bermudis, who had never left his home
aud him suddenly in the middle Of the Bowery Win
the elevated trains rushing over his head the nall deem
less people both sides OF the way the spark
ling and glitteng shops either sie the electric lamp:
making an artificial moonlight. the Jam ge' sur ana
hustle OF that wonderful tboroughfaro would certainly
drive Linn insane Oh the spot. =,
rectncss; "he wouldn't be moved hair-you couldn't
surprise him or make him aSton'ed with the great PAD
jaudrum himself. All ermudiais are noncbaait In the
extreme They take nothing with surprise! You would
suppose they had travelled from birth"
STATES with him time. He anticipated great amu-e'
ment at the wonder and the mau would ex.
press after seeing Newiork the railroads and IN iaet
the mliIioa new things Ia astounl h Hut the hia was
absolutely solid iic expressed no surprise wonder OF
admiration at anything whatever. and seemed rs cam
and uuc1ncernc ~ II ut home until going out on an ex-
press tram he swept By huge potato ieh Mlen tIrst
far IA he could see he sank back overcome Into DIS seal"
aud remarked. THAT beats home! ,...., ,.., ,,r,-
\ funny conversation lie overheard Dctwcch TWO isnur
BAD year crops this year don't know what We
Bad yearI Why I never had better onions since
Sort But what good will that dot We can't eel
anything"
What not in New.Yorkr
way, yes We cant What's to preventitr'
d" tell you We cantF'
The Oil man turned solemnly about and shook his nces
at his neghoor We can't sell anything IN New'iork
because all the Americans are down here !!
Another farmer said wisely one day. with Enjoying
countenanco. They're hayin lively time up n New
have got unloadei to-day All the snopmen WIZ 20
down 10 the dock. But she was full, clear up. AN
afraid she will glut the market - .
These anecdotes are positively true. and indclte inc
estimation which Bermdlans hold their llltle
islnud They know absolutely nothing OF by cOuO.rie
They possibly grasp lie idea OF any place being
larger than this dot
WISE DOC.
Prom The Atddtessr County Record. .
A dog owned by COlOlcl Newton, OF Cromwell
goes twice day the railroad station Tor the morning
and evening paper He goes OF his own rcoiri Is always
on time, aud waits about where the baggage car Il 10
sp tho ut one place and IN the AFTERNOON at
an5ticr There he waits until the bundle Is thrown on
and opened by the station master when he taxes hs
paper IN month and Immediately starts for home
The weather Ia rainy. he has piece ot o->kiu when
kent In place where no get II himself AM OF Ills OWL
accord he carries this with him. AMI the stoa las'..
wraps around the paper before giving 1t To bim ~
order that II may not get wet ON Ills return nome, ns
aay." INC '"'-'A - ~ -,.u
lie knows the papers ard Insists on having the rgm
one Once says The liz. ord he WAS fooled " In opoiht
the bundle the station master slipped ONE tat was wv"
days OH Of his pocket aid handed IL 10 inc uos
Demo took Ii In his mouth and started TOT nome A,
ing there he took II u his master aud was .ewaided
u pat the head aud ktpd word Soonet Hemr 10 "a
ius rd his and began To REAL ~ ,ous NC
once discOW red the trick, although ho tho1gnt at hy
time IL was only error. Calling Demo 10 ni,u ne %
him to take the paper back anu rrptinaneu si "a
him Tie dog scclncd 70 understand IT, fo' nc nne
h-a and really looked ashamed, la shorl nc w ="
tho station. with the old paper IN his mouth a a., his
IA q, gave u short aud very decided purS As " "a
say give the right paper and do II non; az =, tar
otIe red one that a day old but aiter sn"us "
uo,u,ut re fused take IT, and not unit. lie was se
n.t.r would he have any thing I'd 40 WIZ
Since them although an suep. mas nceI ' n,of he c
c.t, ed ami go ~ said before II seems rs 'hodsu 0
dog must be anle 10 read