Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-12-27
FULL OF FUN.

New Who Is that wait.
er staring ut youp' Bride (raisIn q
her glasses)-"My divorced husband.
II am not mistaken, dear Dom 1
mind hlm."-7own Topics.
1T is my painful duty. madame, I"
he said. ITO inform you that lightning
has just struck your husband. Did L
strike him more than onceP" she asked,
anxiously. mo. ma'am" 'Thank
Heaven It's no worsel' she said with
sigh OF relief. 'lf lightning only
struck John once he'll pull tlrough."-
Puck
Acknowledged the Corn.
She vowed that her feet were both tiny ana
neat
Till she drew on her shoe with a horn,
one iound twas too tight: she grew red and
grew white,
And thon sho acknowledged tho corn.
-Erchdnge.
"A young lady wishes to know II
you can tell any thing about gentle
man by tho color of his eyes. We
should not like to risk any positive re-
ply. but will venture to say that some
thing can bo determined by the color
OF his nose. -ESchange.
That there is no limit TO the COM
plicalions of the English language was
well illustrated tho other day. Scene:
A hotel piazza. Mrs. Haughton (sur-
rounded by party of young gentle
men and ladles) II wonder when tho |
regatta pronounced re-ga-tah) is
coming oif2" Quick response from
Margery Haughton, aged four-"My |
garter's coming OFF, [Tabloau. J.
Hdrper's Basar.
You haven't got any Of those
beautiful shades of color you had the
other other day. have youp" inquired
a fair shopper Of tho dry-goods clerk.
mo, but we'vo got some of those
beautiful shades of col or that wo
didn't have thon and have been try
ing to got for tho past soven years"
Yon can't got the bost of dry-goods
clerk-in his line OF business. Hart
ford Posi-
"A husband who was In the habit of
always correcting his wife's state
ments, remarked. whom she montioned
that sho was born on tho twenty-first
Of April: You mean tho first my
dear, not tho twcnty-nrst You were
born on tho first OF April, you know"
1t which tho exAsporated wife ex-
,laimed' People might well think
10, considering the choice made of q
nusbandr--R T. Ledger.
Wife (readlng tho papoD Al SOC
hat considerable discussion has arisen
lmong experts as 10 whether the Met
'opolllan Siorcago warehouse was or
vas not hreproof" Husband
Yes" Wifo-"Was the building
otally destroyqdP" Husband-"Yos, !
burned 10 tho ground" Wife
thoughIfully)-''Well. now that it is n
mass Of ruins, | suppose tho matter !
Till be very difficult to determine" q
Smith, who belongs to club,
Tant'd his friend Brown 10 join 1t, and =
sked the privilege of proposing him |
Or membership. But suppose they
lackball meP" queried Brown. "Oh, G
onsonse!" said Smith. "Why, my {
ear fellow, there's not man in the Il
lub that knows any thing about you'll"
It which bysiander sarcastically re- C
marked: what pleasant way a
mith has Of putting things. IN Y a
,edger.
Mrs. Readyfurnished-"I tell you, +
Ir De Poykins, there is not bedbug v
A my house, and You are a mean, "
ncan thing to say that they've been
iting you. It's all your imagina- n
on. Mr. Do Poykins (scratchlng Il
imself rohoctivcly)-'I say. Mrs. b
what is the greatest
alton in the worldP' Mrs. Ready n
FINISHED (sullenly)-'I don't know, "
nd | don't care" Mr. De Poykins Il
putting on his haD-"Imagi-nation.
The other evening l was dining q
18th friend who has a daughter-a W
retty little tot OF four years-who is D.
cry fond of leo cream. When tho W
csert was served she got her share of
10 frozen dainty and Immediately put 81
big lump in her mouth. Her tongue b'
rs of course Immediately numbed by bl
10 cold morsel, and when sho had sc
orricd 1t down she said: "Mamma,
ANNA, mo can't talk any more; my pl
outh's asleep.n Il