Morning journal and courier., 1887-08-27
CURRENT.

While the summer girl is at Nantasket
breasting the wave her good mother stays at
home and stems the currant.-Springfeid
Union.
A Connecticut woman has invented q
hustle which she says has never been worn
before Isn't that a popularity of most
bustlesa-Washingto Critic.
When young man sits in the parlor talk
ing nonsense to his best girl-that's capital.
But when he has to stay in evenings after
they're married that's labor.-Judge.
Fireman-fHurry up! There isn't mo-
ment to spare !" Woman Gn burning build
ing)-"Oh, dearl Must I go out this wayf
Do tell me, please, if my hat is on straightl'
Life.
A proposed New Hampshire law forbids
person to have more than ten pounds of brook
trout in his possession at one time. AS a
rule the law would not be violated.-Lowell
Courier.
A noted doctor SAYS that onions are the
man to go to entertainment after
hearty meal of 'em. 1t takes nerve.-Ol
City Blizzard.
Old lady (shocked)-You little boys ought
to be at Sunday school instead of playing
base ball on the Lords day. Little boys
1t amt time for Sunday school We've got
half an hour yet.
der chicken from an old tough onea" sOf
course I can" "Well, how!' "By the
teeth" Chickens have no teeth" ''No,
but have. Puck.
Eleven p.m.-"Gerty, will do anything
in the world to make you happy" "Do yop
mean it, George!" 'I do, darling" "Then
for heavens cake go home and let me go to
bed. New Orleans Picayune.
Nervous old lady on the fifth floor of hotel
DO you know what precautions the propri.
etor of this hotel has taken against frea
Porter-Mum, he has the house inshoored
for twice wot it's worth.-Exchange.
'tMy friends" said temperance lecturer,
lowering his voice to an impressive whisper,
'sif all the grog shops were at the bottom of
the sea what would be the result?' And the
answer came: ''Lots of people would get
drownedl'-Puck.
sit must be nervousness, doctor There is
nothing broken in me, but I am losing my
memory. Why, see here, l found in my
wife's chiffonnier a bundle of love letters and
l don't remember at all, not at all, having
written them. French paper.
A hard drinker dreamed that he had be-
come possessed of bottle of genuine stuff,
but, determined to enjoy it thoroughly, he
had begun to heat it. During the heating
process he awoke. "Hoo, hoo," he groaned,
eff had known this was to happen I would
have drank it cold. Chicago Times.
"I am very glad to see that the government
is taking an interest in missionary work, F."
observed Mrs. Fangle. F'I hadn't heard of
it." replied her husband. eyes, the United
States has begun to send out missionaries. I
saw in the paper that a minister had been
sent to Liberia. That's in Africa, you know.
But la me! what's one minister to that great
dark continent. ."-Tid-Bits.
'Mother," said the fve-year-old demon
just as Mrs Oldboy was preparing to leave
home on six weeks visit, "whats become
of the fur YOU used to wear last wintera''
''Loeked up, Willie; why" 'Say, has
wings growed on it!" ''No; why do you ask
such silly questionss' "Caus I heard pop
say this morning that he would make the
fur fly when you are away" The trunks
were at once unpacked, and the look that
came into Mrs Oldboy's face made the clock
strike 34.-Nebraska State Journal.