Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-07-14
THE PROFESSOR.
Graphic Sketch Of an Interesting
Character.


Character.
Not the least wonderful thing abou
the professor is the fact, which he him
self would be the first to acknowledge
that he is my friend. Two persons
more completely unlike could hardly
be found than the professor and my
self l have often wondered how i
was that we became as intimate as VIZ
now are, and yet can give no reason
able reason for it. must represent
to the professor gulf Of yawning ig
norance His knowledge begins so fal
above where mine ends, that it is i'm
possible for us to have any extended
conversation on any subject with which
he is familiar. He is the author O
many works that are text books in the
higher branches of science. He gave
me the latest volume he had pub
lished, and l took it to my London
lodgings and tried hard to read even
the first page. 1t was of no use.
might as we'll have tried to wade across
the Atlantic. 1t was too deep for me.
Next time l met him, said:
professor, l read that interesting
volume of yours last night. Couldn't
put it down till had finished it,"
The professor frightened up. Il am
glad you liked it," he said.
..Still l have one fault to find with
it. 1t is too simple. You should re-
member that you are not writing for
children but for grown up men. Why
don't you write something learned and
decp?"
The professor sighed.
'Your criticism is just" he admit
ted; '.but you see l am only on the
threshold of knowledge. often think
It is presumption in me to write at all.
and l would not have issued the book ]
rave you were it not for the urging OF
the publishers and some of my friends.
OF course you noticed the error in that
calculation on page 1882"
Certainly. suppose you claim
that was a mistake of the printer"
..Oh, not at all. The mistake was
mine, and the more inexcusable, as l
corrected the proofs. If the investiga-
tions in which am at present engaged
are successful. hope to produce a
book that will meet the approval of all
my friends. Did you notice any other
errors in the book"
'My dear professor. haven't you
known me long enough to be aware
that 1 can't read a page of that book or
understand a line of it? didn't know
any thing of the error on page Sol
Or"
page 1Os," corrected the profess
Sor.
SWELL, page 1O3, then. 1t would take
me years to get up to the preface of
that book-in fact. doubt if ever
would reach there"
Then your criticisms" began the
professor, reproachfully, 'were pure
bosh." admitted.
The professor looked at me over his
glasses, as was habit of his, and said
nothing. He thought such tr1fling with
90 serious subject as science was ut
terly beneath the dignity of any sane
man, and indeed it was
Although the Professor is one of the
most genial men l ever knew he is
completely devoid of any sense of hui
NOR.
One evening at the professors rooms
a mutual friend told very funny story.
1t WIS so evident that the Professor
did not see any thing funny about it
that l proposed we should try and ex-
plain it to him. The mutual friend
analysed it; took it apart, bit by bit,
and explained where the point of the
yarn was, and to assist him l drew a
diagram on sheet of paper. The
professor listened with that intense at
fention which he gave to any subject
that was brought before his notice, and
then said, with sigh:
Don't you perceive, gentlemen, that
the premises are wrong and cOnse-
quently the whole structure falls to
pieces. The story can not possibly be
true"
The professor, I need not say, is a
and he has lived most of his
life in the same London lodgings. Why
Providence placed such man as he is
In the midst of London never could
would rs soon think of
trusting a five-year old child on the
streets of the great city as the profess
sor; yet he has SO far managed to get
along without accident. He goes along
the crowded streets with his mind far
away. and sort of instinct seems to
lake him to the place he starts for. He
will cross streets in the midst of roar
ng traffic that would appall a man
With his senses about him. Many a |
:ab-horse has been suddenly pulled |