The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-07-09
MRS. RowsER.s PLANT.


and looked upon Mr.. Bowser as a god
One of his favorite pastimes was to
place me where the lamplight fell upon
my hair and to address me as his gold
en-haired angel. Poor, silly girl that
was, / thought it would always last
One evening after we had been married
five or six weeks took my stand under
the gas and asked him if his angel was
as dear to him as ever.
''Humphr' he growled as he looked
me over.
''But won't you praise my golden
hair?''
Golden carrots, Mrs. Bowser! IF ]
had such mop of carroty hair on my
head as you possess I'd go hide it away
in a barrel!'
Then you have ceased to love me?''
Ceased nothing! have simply got
tired of all this boshy nonsense, and l
propose to settle down to the realities
of life
During our courtship Mr.. Bowser de-
lighted to read to me from a book of
poems, and he insisted on holding one
of my hands while he read. The sec
ond eveningfwe were in our own house
brought out Longfellow and sat down
beside him and took his hand.
''What are you paving around me
for?' he asked, as he looked up.
II want my deary to read to me-
''Well, your deary has got some
thing else to dol I'm reading up on
bread and butter instead of poetry.
Please keep your paw at home. y
You used to read such lovely poetry
80 me-"
THAT was because l was foOl!'
l went over to the other side of the
room and cried, and he let me weep
away for straight hour by the clock
before he observed:
Now, Mrs. Bowser, if you have got
through sniveling Wen go down stairs
and measure that eoal-bin and figure up
the cubic feetr'
During our courtship we used to take
long walks in the cleaning, and
though L was often so tired / could
hardly drag one leg after the other,
Mr.. Bowser would insist on dragging
me around He was always quoting
something about GLORIOUS Luna and
''silver stars" and Heavens arch, :"
and one night as we sat upon the door
step he put his arm around me and said
he could sit there forever and aye. 1t
was hardly a month after our me- rriage
that put on my hat one evening and
asked hisn if he didn't want to wander
out for awhile and watch the silent
night shut down.
I'D like to see myself sloshing
around with this internal corn on my
toe!' he replied.
Mr.. BOwser, there was time when
you'd have walked all night with corn
on every toe"
THAT shows what an idiot man can
make of himself -
You once said that we'd always
walk hand-in-hand in life's cleaning"
Il don't believe it! L knew 1 was
soft, but l don't believe was as mushy
as that
''But you certainly did,"
"Well, I'll take it all back now.
We've got something else to do besides
squeezing paws and signing about the
cleaning. Durn the cleaning, Mrs.
BOWserl The whole caboodle of it
wouldn't buy a peck of potatoes! 1t
would look more sensible for you to
wander out into the kitchen and see
how many tramps the cook is feeding
at my expense"
Two months before our marriage
got hard cold and had chills and
fever. It was impossible to keep Mr.
Bowser away from the house, and upon
several occasions he hung over me and
murmured:
Il pray Heaven to spare your pre-
cious life! If you should die life would
be dreary blank to me. Oh! darling,
try and get WE'LL
1 tried, and with the help of doctor
and plenty of two-grain quinine cap
sules 1 recovered. Two months after
marriage / got caught out in rain
storm, and in q day or two had chills
and sore throat. When Mr.. Bowser
came home ct night L was abed. He
took the matter very calmly. Standing
in the bedroom door, he said:
"Well, [ suppose the doctor has been
here and made a bill against ME, and
that you have mad dozen prescriptions
filed and charged?"
I'm not very ILL.,
''Oh, no! Just i'll enough to upset
the whole house and make me twenty
dollars expenses, and all because of
your own foolishness!"
MIR. Bowser, pray Heaven to spare
my precious lifer'
"Pll be hanged if do! If you will
go gadding around in the slush and
slosh you must suffer for il"
Wouldn't life be dreary blank to
you if | should die?''
''Well, 1 dunno. 1t would upset the
house and make me three hundred dol
lars expense, and l suppose I'd have TO
wear Grape band for year. There's
no danger, however. Any one who
can store away the pork and potatoes
you can is good for seventy-tive years
yet. I'm going down to the club to-
night. I'll stop and tell your mother
to run over, though it's all nonsense.
All that ais you is too much grease on
I,oY1r. - DoF9o5f E3-oo p9.oce