The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-11-11
AMONG THE TESTERS.

JOhnI ||*~
"Dunno, Marian; but think it must s.
the yeller fever w ashington Critic. 4
Only one rifle ball in a thousand killsa
man in battle. II that thousandth bullet x
could be left out OF the calculation what
Vineyard Herald.
The coolest winds are those that her
aid spring, the darkest hour is that beiore
the dawn, the greatest crooks are those
that never swing, the finest watch is that i
we have in pawn. Lincoln Journal.
We are convinced that things are not
run properly in this country; for in the
spring we read of the failure of the luscious
peach crop, while now we learn OF the
wonderful success of the peanut crop
Yonkers Statesman.
In olden times the sound OF brass, it was
thought, had power to put spirits to flight.
Well, il has now. We have often seen
proud spirit take tumble when brass
band was playing in the neighborhood.
Yonkers Statesman.
''This is a cold, cold world" remarked
Mrs. Browne TO her husband.
81 should say so, was the rejoinder,
"and coal has gone up just 2 cents
bushel since last week. Washington
Critic.
Philadelphia Man-Do YOU mean TO say
your street cars are not heated in winter?
Omaha Man-Not at all.
''What in creation do you do TO keep
warm2'
"Talk politics. "-Exchange.
First Clerk say, Jimmy, what effect
do YOU s'pose the death OF the senior part
NOR will bnya IN tba hucinncoo
Second Clerk-Well, / think wen have
holiday on the day Of the funeral
Epoch.
Don't be clam, my SON. but II an old
friend comes to you and asks Tor the loan
OF s. until Saturday night, just close your
shell for repairs. IL may look rude, but
under some circumstances IL is better to
leave than TO he LEFT. Burlington Free
Press.
They were TO have young Mr.. Law do
Dab to dinner, and Miss Travis quietlyf1
remarked, as she changed the glass at hisN
plate: 81 must get Mr.. Law de Dab somo
soft water. II wouldn't do for him "a
drink anything hard, you know Burling-
ton Free Press.
"AIabel, have something to say that {
think will astonsh you"
"What is it?''
81 am going away"
ooh, Harry You are alwaysgetting up
some nice surprise for me. "-Merchaut
Traveller.
There is an uncanny sort OF n man II
Missouri, who claims that he can tell wliat
n woman is thinking about by the way sho
winks. We have seen this thing succoB-
fully tried in the case OF man, but, Gu
riously enough, every mothers son Of
them was thinking about the same thin.
Burlington Free Press.
Ignatius Donnclly is going TO see Mr..
Childs and 90 him one better. lie will
erect memorial sausage machine 10 Bacon
In the city Of Chicago. There ought "a be
something about a stylus to wind Ibis
thing up with, but we cant bring b IN,
somehow. Some other fellow may pun On
this string Pull lard. Burdette
Omaha Dame Ito applicant for domcstic
service You do not look very strong.
Applicant Indeed | am mum. Tho
last woman ! worked for said she bclioved
! walked ten miles every morning.
walked ten miles every morning7
Why, what were Won DOING" ...'. q
"Getting breakfast, mum. "-On,aha
World.
First Bank Director We ought to have
n bright sharp man for cashier.
Second Bank Dirccior-iNhat is the
matter with the one We have2
ooh, he's too old fogyish." IA
"IIe's rather conservative, that's facf-"
Eyes the old fellow seems 10 think
Omaha Word.
Look here, my friend" said a well
dressed man to a Washington policeman
last Sunday, 81 want drink very badly.
Can't you help me out2"
81 can, sor," rcjoincd the guardian Of
the peace, who was OF Hibcrnian extHc-
ton.
"Ah, thanks. Here's something for you,
by the way. Where did You say could
get little drink?'
Fright around the corner 10 your LIT,
SORT; yczc'll foind poomp an dipper
Exchange.
The circus laid of one night and the ion
tanner played sweet 10 u shephordess TO
whom he gave much quit until, unmask-
ing, his wife recognized him. They picked
him up nj the foot OF the stairs, sadly rent
M 10 his r,imcni, and mush abraded and
confused ~ to his person. And ~ lac re-
covered consciousness he iccbly Inur-
INJURED: "Was Il the lady or tho tigcrf'
Then they smotc upon him with cancs
aud umbrellas, and left him for dcad.--
Burlcttc.
The faith cure doctor took the hand Of
his patient aud, looking into his eyes, <ai&
~ can cun You" Paiicnt-"Arc you
sur2' VERY sure. All you've got 10
do IL To believe Just believe YOU'RE
,,,,,.,J T1,,tfs ali - WAlt riybts Nm nv
II. Good day." "lIold ON q minute. my
man. Didn't YOU forget somcthin1?'
"whal?' The Zee. charge - viI(."
sob, yes. Well. believe. All you W. rot
10 do II 10 believe I've paid you, and MI
be- all right st. Paul Globe.
Master pickic looks nj the callcr's head
with great curiosity, and breaks ont
"Why. Mr.. LlaydouL you're not bit
bald" "IY' said Mr. l.laydout, %! should
say not. ! have a head 81 hair like N In
dian. hid you think I was baldT' Nnifr
Dickic IN an injured tone: why, u aid
last night You had been regularly black
ballcd everywhere thcsc many years rn&t-
Aud the cheerful How Of conyenatiou al
tens, runs slowly and finally sinks deep.
deep into the Unsuitable and Thirsty alpd<
Brooklyn Eagle.
The boor bell Of the Vanity house ring
ut about \ O'Clock the other night. and
Mn. Vanity said cxcitcdly TO her husland
There, Charles, just know that tho
furniture van coming with the bcd-roQu
set We bought today, and II u IL went
receive u, that's all. y
"Why nOt7' said Mr.. Vanity.
why not7" repeats MB. Vanity. DO
YOU think Tn going 70 pay $40 f~e