The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-11-23
BURDETTE'S COLUMN.
Polilioians and PraYsr-Ecsnomy in Spsss
-Sems kodsln Miracles.
Red Hair and White Horse Thsory-soezal
oastoms-The Age OF ReasoR--A
Condemned GluttOn.
Written Especially for the Sentinel.
Copyrighted. 1877

Written Especially for the Sentinel.
Copyrighted. 1871
POLITICIANS AND PRAYER.
''Do not sneer at the politician. !" saysIDr.
Macarthur; ''pray for him. So we do,
Doctor, so we do, "that his days may be
few, and that another take his offsce;" that
"he shall gnssh with his teeth, and melt
away" David knew how, much and what
kind OF praying the politician needed.
ECONOMY IN SPACE.
"Hold Or" said the doorkeeper at the
opera house as the twain pushed past him:
you can't both go In on that this ticket
calls for only one seat" That's all right,
mister; enc cheers ben big enough to hold
And in cloud OF Lize's best bushes they
were gone before he coald sound the re-
call.
KNOWN 81 THE EAR MARKS.
"5ar," said the visitor, "I have been in
formed at the Bureau of Industrial Iufor.
nation that the woman of the house de-
sirss lady help in the prosecution of her
household duties" The husband backed
cautiously cut of sight and called his wife.
Maria, here's Wellesley girl wants =
place to do general housework."
MODERN MIRACLES.
There was a miracle in a church in Ma
pies last Sunday. A marble statue repre-
senting" Maria Adolorata' was seen 30. open
It's eyes. o, well. maybe it did-msybe it
did, Hundreds of people say they saw ii.
We have never seen q statue open its eyes,
bat We have seen miracles equally great.
We have been in churches where we won
dered that the marble saints didn't hold
their noses. 1t was a miracle that they
didn't.
ANOTHER SUPERSTITION OVERTHROW.
All signs fail in some kinds of weather.
A few days ago we were in Poultney, Vt.
A beautiful girl with the kind of hair that
Titan loved to paint went down the street.
A man came by in an opposite direction
riding horse as black as the ravens wing.
By and by the girl came back, and a man
drove pair of handsome black horses
down the street. Ny faith in popular be-
liefs was lettering, and in q m oment more
1t went down a crashing ruin, a wreck OF
dust and shattered fragments, when two
red-headed girls met on the corner,
stopped, kissed each other and passed on,
while boy went leading a black colt
down toward the station. a negro
blacker than coal came from East Pouls-
ney way riding one black horse and lea l.
ing another, and a black-and-tan dog
chased black cat up q black oak tree
down by the blacksmith's shop, and a
drop of black ink from my poised pen fell
upon my newly blacked boots, like an
ebon tear dropped on a sable pail. 0ut
upon the lying prophet who frat pro-
claimed that white horse "fad."
DO NOT SCRATCH YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR FORK.
A new Boston book, called social Gus
TOMS" says: Every ones card should
have the address of the owner In the right
hand corner" That may be all very well
for Boston, but Just marking one card in
the whole pack in the right-hand corner is
what they hanged a man for only last week
out IA Arizona. In an empire so broad as
the American Republic 1t is q useless and
foolish task to attempt the reduction of
socisl customs to rigid rules that will Apply
everywhere.
THE AGE OF REASON.
"What is that bell for?' asked Uacie
William. "Recitations," replied Nephew
james. Then you must leave me?" "Oh,
no; l don't attend recitations." sob, you
lust stte a.ii Isct1re " No at least
quite deserted" said Uncle William.
"Yes," said Nephew James; ''it's study
hour" Then you want to go to your
room2" "Oh, no; don't atudy." well"
exclaimed Uncle WILLIAM, who is weak
minded, old-fashioned old man, ''what do
you do~ "Go to college," said Nephew
James.
SONG OF A CONDEMNED GLUTT0N.
never had a sweet gazeue
But would love it passing well
Baked in q rich and orusty pie,
III could have bird to love
And nestle sweetly in my breast
All other nesting birds above,
The turkey-stufea-would be that bird.
IT NEVER FAILS.
A boy in Christian County, ILL.,, is the
owner OF q maidstone. 1t has not yet been
tested in any well-authenticated cases of
bydrophobia, but when the boy hits dog
with it, it makes the dog so mad that he
howls, tears up the ground, and runs like
deer over half mile in a straight line.
ANOTHER BLOW AT GOVERNMENT.
The influence of the Anarchists is felt in
the United States more and more every
year. This past year less starch was made
in this country than in any season during
period of thirty years, and everything
points to reign of flannel shirts, fiat scarfs
and paper collars.
SKIPPING THE SPOTS.
Edward Everett Hale says he believes
the George Washington cherry-tree and
Ratchet story. Brethren, it is the mark of
agood man to believe the good things told
of other people. You will observe that
every man who doesn't believe that Wash
ington always told the truth, and who
seriously OOuDLs tnat ne pray gu aL valley
Forge, are firmly convinced and joyously
declare that he swore like pirate at Mon
| mouth. That's the difference between the
different sorts of people.
THE CHINESE CENSUS.
The recent census of the Empire oil
| China gives population of 392, 900, 600 oil
| souls-Chinese souls. The census In China
| is taken for the purposes of taxation, AID
the methed is very simple. The Emperor
makes up his mind about how much
money he wants; then In order to make
the burden of taxation very light he est
mates about five thousand psople to the
dollar; the money comes in and nobody
could be mean enough to protest. Protest
Is Chinese idiom, my son. don't won
der you don't understand it. 1t is simila
in meaning to our United States kick.
INFINITE WISDOM IN BRIEF LIFE.
"But why" exclaimed the hoary-headec
sage, as the youth looked listlessly out o
the window and sighed YEARLY, "wh.
should you, so young. so full of health ant
strength wish to die?" because sal
the young man, turning away and fallin
into q chair with q gesture of in6init
lapguor, II have nothing to live for. Il
the very morning of my life my clock hs
struck II, my sun has reached the zenit
of it's splendor, and earth has no prize
which have not already taken. hav
won during the past season twenty-five
singles and thfrty-four doubles, and al
acknowledged the champion tennis-playt
If o1r IL not wall than for