The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-01-19
Pith and Point.

THERE were eight calls for volunteers
during the civil war and five drafts.
THERE is Just one thing in this life that a
man can always make out to live up to, and
that is his income.
THEY have a toboggan slide at Bismarck
where, 1t Is said, the steel-shod toboggans ac-
quire velocity of three miles minute.
THE Rev. p. KEEPER, pastor of the German
Lutheran church at Rockford ILL.,, has been
compelled to resign because he drank beer.
THE following advertisement appeared
the other morning in the columns of news
paper: Wanted, a nurse for an infant aged
about thirty"
WHEN the Pilgrim fathers hear that
Plymouth has had dance in honor of their
landing they will be sorry they landed
PhHddelphia cal.
WHY is it that only distinguished citi-
zens die in small towns? Hasn't a poor
man any rights outside OF large cities?-
PhHddelphid CAL.
THE man who works is the man who sue
ceeds. The way to get fortune is to go after
it and not wait for it to come to you.-
baltimore american.
JOHN GILBERT's versatility is shown by
the fact that he has appeared in one hum
dred seventeen different plays, including
some of Shakespeare, Bulwer and Knowles.
NEVER cut piece out of newspaper
where, perhaps, you may find something
more valuable than that which you intend
to appropriate.
A COURTEOUS witness was called to order
by Judge the other day for persistently al
luding to prisoner at the bar as that gem
tleman!' The prisoner was an itinerant
vender of cats meat.-Fun.
STATISTICS show that the New England
States have furnished more church MEM
bers, Sunday-school teachers and ministers
throughout the West within twenty years
than all the other states combined.
YOUNG lady (who has a great idea of her
grandfather's age): Say grandpa, were
you in the ark?" Grandpa: Why no, my
dear" Young lady: " But, grandpa, you
must have been; you would have been
drowned else. "-Lite.
dren's books in the adventures of Ahmed
Ben Ahmar, who was recently rewarded
with the cross of the legion of honor for
bravery as "A lion-killer. In Algeria, in
twenty-six years, he killed over two hum
dred lions.
THE novelty in Philadelphia confectionery
is candied sweet potato. IL is nothing but
sweet potatoes, carefully boiled and quar-
tered and then candied in boiling syrup, but
the CONNECTION is said to be dainty and ten
der and of delicious flavor.
"The car is full of alumni" whispered
Miss Blackstone to her friend from the West,
as they both journeyed Cambridgeward in
girl " and how it chokes one up, don't it?
I wonder they do not open the ventila-
tors. "-BoSton Commercial Bulletin.
WILLIAM TAYLOR, a Pennsylvania, made
fun of the big trees in the Yosemite Valley,
and John Ashton, guide, felt it his duty to
stab the scotfer twice in the right arm. A
court will now decide how far guide can
10 tna
products of nature.-DetrOu Free Press.
A VETERAN Maine school-teacher remem-
bers a school in which he had seven vulgar,
profane and vicious boys, whose aim in life
seemed to be to torment the teacher. This
teacher recently visited the state prison in
Thomaston and found three of those boys
there. Four others are in the reform school.
AN exchange informs us that " Mrs. Cleve-
land sits very quietly and demurely in
church." This will be a genuine surprise
to those who always supposed that the
" first lady in the land " was in the habit of
performing a trapeze act or playing hop
| skip-and- Jump when she entered the sanctu-
ary-Yonkers Statesman.
A PooRLy-DREssED woman, about whom,
| nevertheless, there was an unmstakable air
of refinement and culture, applied at a Bos-
ton store for aid. I've got nothing for You
to-day. Come tomorrow about this time, y
replied the clerk. " / regret exceedingly that
/ cannot accommodate you, but tomorrow
at this time | will he delivering a lecture
to the Society of Ethical Culture on the
Whichness-of-the-W VAS The clerk handed
out nickel
THE following conundrum has been pro
pounded by a Berlin paper, which offers a
prize for the wittiest and briefest answer;
"a young spendthrift, who is able to borrow
money only because his atanced has prom
| Used to pay his debts after the wedding, falls
into river together with her before the
wedding has taken place, and both are on
| the point of being drowned. misery
! creditor of the young man happens to pass,
| jumps into the water and saves-whom, and
! why?"
AN amusing incident occurred at a Christ
mas tree at one of the colored churches il
Elberton, Ga. As but few of the members
could read or write, they selected a colored
damsel who had been to school" to write
the names on the presents, which she
readily consented to do. When the present.
We're distributed and the names called out
the assembly was greatly surprised to fine
that all the handsomest and most valuable
presents had on them the name of the CIR
! that did the writing. An Indignation meet
ing was hastily held and a redistribution o
the presents ordered immediately
| nah NelcS.
HERE is a story said to be true one. A
any rate it is good enough to be true: II
American tourists We're about to take th'
steamer for home. AS they stalked along
the gangway to the tenders deck one of tn,
three paused in the center, and, stretching
out his encountered hands. dramatically adj
dressed the surrounding scenery: "If ther,
isl he hoarsely exclaimed, Zone blarsted
Britisher on this COMPOUNDED island that
haven't given a shilling to, let him com,
forward and get it. It's his last chance!
Then he stalked on board with an air o
great relief.
In museum in Minneapolis is a profes
sional knife-thrower, who throws knives al
around young woman, as she stands
act is common. The advertisement is not
the yellow-turband wonder, Riffia Bey, thu
pale with huge and dangerous knives o
maiden. This is a picture OF savage sports
unexceled in detail of heart-thriling cru
city. This marvel of the Blue Nile is a per
feet miracle of precision and astounds the
beholder with his cunning dexterty"
SCIENTIFIC people have just had serious
disappointment. When, one hundred years
ago, Sir John Sloane was gathered to hi
fathers, he left directions in his will that
certain cupboard in his mansion should no
be opened for the space of century. Ever
since then the cupboard has attracted al
much interest as that against which tn,
late Mrs. Bluebeard was cautioned. Man,
have been the speculations as to its contents
The museum has already a chamber o
horrors, which very few of the unprofes
at.t