The Irish standard., 1887-10-01
TO YOUNG EDITORS.
The Advice of Journalist Who Ha
Welded the Shears for Many Years.

!. TO YOUNG EDITORS.
The Advice of Journalist Who Has
Welded the Shears for Many Years.
My son, you wish to engage in an
occupation through which the light of
-FOUR noble genius will be shed broad
cast throughout the land, rejecting
credit on yourself and the glorious
country which had the honor of giving
you birth. After carefully consider
ing the subject, you have concluded that
The newspaper business is the thing.
and in view of this fact, you wish the
advice of one who has had a long and
varied experience with free passes,
delinquent subscribers and many other
blessings which the editorial fraternity
is heir to. Yes. you have struck the
right shop. We are just boiling over
with good and fatherly advice to give
to young man who is about to en-
bark on the turbulent waters
Of the journalistic sea. and we
will give it to you in plain
colors; with no coating of fowery
language or hifaluten phraseology to
hide from you the great responsibility
which will rest upon you after taking
the most important step of your life.
All you have to do is to heed our in
functions and you will be, so to speak,
carried through your journalistic ca
reer on dowery beds of ease.
1.-When you start your paper be
sure to have ferce-looking picture up
in the northeast corner, labeled,
Fighting Editor" coupled with the as
surance that he is ''always in," you
have no idea what a pleasant effect this
will have on persons of the John L.
Sullivan frame of mind.
2.-Whenever a birth occurs repre-
sent the father as wearing a broad
smile, and as being the happiest man
in town, even though he may already
have more children than he can feed
and clothe properly. It is time
honored custom and must be observed.
3-If you have cause to speak of
the meanest man in town, and the
worst enemy you have, refer to him as
our esteemed and highly respected cit
izen, etc. He will know that it is not
so, and that you have lied, but he will
like you the better for it, and may
treat YOU with more consideration in
the future.
4-Never, o never, labor under the
impression that you will be praised if
you get up readable paper, for
should you do so you are but doomed
to disappointment. Expect, however,
to be abused if vou do not please the
most fastit1ious, and you will get what
you are looking for just ninety-nine
times out Of possible hundred. Peo-
pie never praise an editor for fear it
will give him the big-head and make
him unfit for his position.
5.-Always be prepared to write flu
emily on both sides of any question
that may arise in your town. 1t will
be expected Of you, and you will incur
the dislike of both parties should you
fail to do so.
6-When a death occurs, express
yourself as full of sympathy and sad
ness, even thoughthe deceased is some-
body's mother-in-law, who he has
been trying to get rid of for years,
without avail,
Marriage notices should always
begin with the couplet:
Two souls with but single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one
The couplet is not new. but it is
good. Otherwise it could not have
given such splendid satisfaction dur
ing the many years it has been in use,
and it should, moreover, be respected
for it's age and the great number of
marriage notices it has figured in.
8.-Always try to carry the impress
sion that you are poor and need
money. You won't get the money,
but you will be respected for not blow
ing about the wealth which you will
quickly accumulate.
9.-When young lady visits your
town, speak of her us the beautiful
and accomplished'' Miss So-and-so, one
of the society bellies Of such and such a
place, even though she is as ugly as
..home-nlade sin,' and washes for
living. 1t will be sure to
make her like you, and you will not
only have gained her respect and adj
mlration. but also the good will Of her
friends whom she is visiting. 1t is
also probable that when she takes her
leave, her friends will subscribe for
your paper an;l send it to her for six
months ut least.
10.-When you wish your delinquents
to pay up. don't abuse them. but speak
to them kindly; tell them that you are
in need of money, and that your pants
are in such IL condition Gas they soon
will be) that you are compelled to wear
your coat all the time; picture to them
the many wants of the editor, and ask
them gently to pay up They will
never think of doing so. but you may
get your reward in H"aven.
We mirht continue rivinp Won adj