The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-05

Inc topper, must have gin;
The birdlet cries. 0, where's my nest,
The grail, o, whcreve You bin,
-DuI,,th Photographer.
MISS Al am surprised that you are so cold
and distant toward your younger brother
Mr. B.-You see, he is only distant relative
OF mine just think there al no less than five
brothers and sisters between us.-TerdS Stft-
ings.
A GEORGIA paper says that Mr.. Wheeler, of
Hancock county. cut a watermelon few days
ago, and when opened it displayed distinctly
formed ''w', on both halves This must be one
Of the melons that will wv you up.-Norristouon
Herald.
HIeHwAYNAN in Pullman Palace Car-Your
money or your life
SIS you 'dressin' dose remarks to me, sah?'
You bet EN-. Hurry up
We'll, I'm the potGh of dis year cah.''
oh; Excuse me. How are you. eomrade!'-
Washington Critic.
OLD Croesus, vexed by clerical Mistakes
Delays and shabby dissipation makes
An automatic instrument designed
In Office work t. supplant the clerky mind
Alas TIL invention was too like the clerk
Twas sweet to look at-but it wouldn't work.
Life.
A GENTLEMAN was accosted in the Almeda by
a sturdy beggar.
In heavens name give me aid," he ejacu-
lated.
Aren't you ashamed to beg, great, strong
healthy fellow like youY''
-ItcO Republics.
know that you are pushing me unnecessarily"
Sir" said the gentlemen addressed to the
party Immediately behind him. do you know
that you are pushing the gentleman ahead of
me unnecessarily" Then he turned to the first
speaker and said, I've passed ii down the line d"
-HdfDer's Bazdr
JACK and Myra had good nurse who taught
them them to say grace before meals Jack was a
little mischief but on this special day was better
than usual; he said his grace properly, and then
the nurse turned to Myra, aged 8, who was sit
ting in pensive attitude. Without raising her
head from her hand she said Please, God,
make Jack good boy. "-BdbytOod.
A YOUNG FINANCIER, aged 4, who was given
five cents for every mouse caught in a small
trap, finally asked leave to spend the proceeds
The nurse was told to go wherever he led her
to see what he proposed buying. He passed ali
the toy and candy shops, but paused before a
hardware store and pointing to the window,
exclaimed triumphantly: Il buy more mouse
trap, Fanny, The Epoch.
docs your watch keep good time, Mr.. Con
ever?" she asked of her caller about II o'clock
that night, as he consulted his chronometer
"Oh, dear, yes very good time, Miss Weary:
very indeed. Why did you aSk?"
II imagined it might be an hour or two slow
you know" she answered, and yawned behind
ner fan.
1t was 1t:45 before young Gonever appre
hended her meaning and acted on it.-BufoLo
Courier.
GOTHAM BUM-This beautiful place of yours is
a favorite resort for those noble reformers
called Socialists, see
Citizen Sehwab--Yah, dey all koom here
Il am a sort of Socialist myself always at
tend the meetings. You are one too, under
stands"
YAH, -,.--
"You believe that everything should be held
in common, of conrse5h
"Efryding except beer; fife tents, please ~
Omaha World.
Boy" exclaimed Michigan avenue grocer,
you've been hanging around here for half an
hour" ~
Eyes sir"
Looking for a chance to steal something's"
No, sir; waiting for another boy who has
gone home after two cents
oh: and then you are going to buy some
thing?"
Yes, sir agreed to wait for him here, and
when he comes we're going in next door and
buy candy. "--Detrott Free Press.
GUESS 1T, IF You CAN
My First is flower combined with lard,
My Second eggs and milk
Below I'm usually hard.
Above I'm soft as silk.
l hide on many a messy mound,
l Turk meath tufts of grassl
On tempting rustic seats I'm found
Where men and maidens pass.
wait my prey with purpose fell,
Inc youLIi ia trousers white.
He sits on me-there comes a yelll
Great Scott but he's a sight!
My Whole is an atrocious mess,
A sweet conundrum l.
But what am you'll never guess
am the Picnic Pie.
-Cbicnoo Tyibuns