Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1887-11-02
A SYMPHONY IN G
ON THE MANY ADVANTAGES THIT WHEEL
ING OFFERS
As an Abiding Place Over the Cities Ofthe Ear wssl
Where Civilization Does Not Stretch Her Wings
With Any Degree Of Satisfaction.


with her, number have been beguied
BY the entertainments of the West. Many
90, but few remain, and as far as my OBJ
ssrvat:6n and experience goes, this city 1:
good enough for me, ifI am good enough
for the city. Superior advantages! NO"
take Rome-the city of Romulus and
Remus, the stamping grounds Of Cesar, An
itemized account of whose checkered ca
reer as an early settler is given in many Of
the theatres of this country year after
year, to allure young men thlrstlng ioI
sudden advancement and preterment tC
settle and grow up with the country. And
what became of Cesar? Wasn't lie stab
bed by the cowboys of the Pontine marshes
because he wanted the earth? DO not the
bones OF many rash and ambitious
youth bleach on the plains OF the far West
because he was not satisfied with ono
horse and coveted his neighbours OK or his
ass. These are solemn historical facts, and
should be all the more cheerfully accepted
because of their repetition, as you well
know that history, like the average voter
of to-day is repeater Rome WAS nice,
easy-gong place for young man to nestle
in for awhile, yet she fell with dull thnd.
| ask the reader if he follows me sutii
GENTLY and consecutively enough to catch
on? 1t were better he did.
-.
1t took seven hills to support the dignity
and granduer OF Rome, from which eleva
ton the boom was kept up aud corner lot:
advanced many sesterces q minute. One
speculatOr-Nero was his name, il am moi
mistaken-whose Office was on the corner
of Janiculum avenue and Catalina alley,
wasn't pleased with certain portion OF
the city 1t WAS old and ancient looking,
and he was afraid the investors Of the
Chump tribe would not he impressed pro-
perly, so he burned the sightless houses
down, and a. the land was valuable new
and stauier buildings were soon erected.
Yet for oil that the boom finally collapsed,
and us said before, Rome fell below par.
And was not the speculative and phys
ical altitude of Rome away up
much farther than q. is supposed to be
in these days A parallel case? Wasn't a
needy woman in great western city hired
by Spectators to milk her COW by
lamplight, place the lamp within range of
her hoofs and with the aid of u tickling
straw induce her to spread herselt-and
also spread disastrous conhagration. |
won't vouch for the truth of this story,
because made it up myself. But doesn't 1t
seem that history is ~ busy AZ the indus
trious eleCtor in repetition. Then, young
man, why 90 West? If you want to fire
up. stay at home where you will be cared
for after the fun is over, pull the string and
"let her 90 Gallagher" in the house of
your friends 1t is much safer and Gal
laghern trOts faster on his native heath
than he does ON strange boulevards. II
this is not Al historical fact why does the
captain of the defeated base ball team ex-
claim 80 confidently to his opponent, while
he displays n dynamite bomb under the
nose OF the umpire, wait till We got you
OH our grounds" Significant enough,
isn't il?
II has been remarked that Rome was
located advantageOusly on seven well de-
fined prOtuberances of the earth, and that
after enjoying life in the upper strata OF
the atmosphere her exalted ambition tum'
bled her down to the marshy levels OF OBJ
liviou. Not 80 with Wheeling. She nes-
ties beneath the quiet shadows and shell
tering crestS of seven AZ lovely hills ~ were
ever carprted with verdure. She is taking
tn" proper and natural way by commencing
al the bottom and building up, and when,
in time, the palisades will he peopled and
tempted, the base will be able to support
the top. | spent quite Al hour on this
and when the last word was
written was 10th to leave it; hut finally
concluded 10 leave it To the tender mercies
of the printer.
IT the solver Of this problem is not oh.
tusely obtuse, he need not have the per-
ceptiOn necessary to flash his penetrating
glance through milestone TO discern the
difference between ephemeral glory and
rock-bOnnd stability, however loud the
whiliken may roar. DO not he led astray
by the sOphiStry of the land sharks who
would argue that, because the OK know
eth his stall and the burglar
his crib there is 30 difference between
them. Much land is sold by such reason
ing, and many shekels are sunk in post
holes 10 erect barricade to defend it from
the graSping tax collector. In time OF
peace prepare for war. Therefore if you
are comfortably settled and have a goodly
store laid by beware of those who would
induce thee to sell all that thou hast and
invest in prairie land that will some day
be covered by city. If such entIce thee,
hnt oh ha
spot lest he make meat of thy neighbor.
Don't let your left hand know what your
right hand has done and the Coroner will
hold no inquest and nobody will want IN
lynch You. Stay where you are and con-
tinue 10 pay cash for groceries at the old
stand.
~.
Wheeling possesses several advantages
which only the most Observant would rec
ognze. IL is settled fact; Rome was not.
The latter was settled by two men, who,
when children, were sucked by wolves.
and it would seem that all other boom
towns were projected by men who had
such careful nursing and training 1t is
good thing to prove your identity some
times by calling your parents to the wit
ness stand, not necessarily for publication
but merely as guarantee of good faith
These wo'f-mothered boys looked the
world over and at one time thought of set
thing west OF the Mississippi, but owing to
the better offer of large swamp
owner near Rome who gave
them free large tracts TO erect
javelin factories and sandal shops they cast
their lot there. Besides, railroad facilities
were better, and they argued that it would
be some time before the far West land pie
would be done enough TO eat. Romulus,
Remus & Co. had virtual monopoly, and
they exhausted every franchise except Dor
ing for natural gas. Strangely enough,
future generations did not rise up and call
them blessed. They cursed them loud
and deep for neglecting to work 30 avail
able grant. The gas had to get out some
how and how old Vesuyius gave N vent In