, 1887-04-16
AsHEvILLE, n. C

County B~utter-Corn Dodger.
AsHEvILLE, n. c. D.
Ny DEAR SoS-I wish you would please
change the address of my paper to this
place, where your mother and l are now
staying. got The Retina all right last
week, and see that you are going to en-
large it, so l ave sold my nay in order TO
prepare for the event.
What is your idea for enlarging the
paper before the town enlarges2 OF
course l am no journalist, but nave often
thought that If / had been doomed to
issue u paper like The Retina, and then
answer at the bar of judgment for it, l
would not get n power press till the town
got n good lark blue hook and ladder
company and a p~ostoficc.
l like your editorial on Mark Antony"
first rate. | can imagine how excited the
people Of your town were when they saw
The Retinn Saturday morning and read
what your estimate of Mark was.
/ wish You would incidentally pick up a
few Others Of those old people and weigh
them. That is one OF the luxuries of run
ming a paper yourself. You can speak right
out and walk all over these people. 1
would like to hear what your honest con-
v~ictions arc in regard to Diogcnes. 1t
would be worth almost what | AVE put
into your paper rs n silent partner.
A PRoUD OLD rAPA.
You can have no idea, Henry, how 1t
swells me up with pride and lofty disdain
to know that while l am sleeping calmly
under my roof tree, as | heard n man call
1t once, you are showing up those old
frau like Julius Caesar and Hamlet and
Portcullis and Andronicus and Mrs. Poti-
phar and other people who nave become
historical.
That was my Idea when l sent you away
20 that female seminary, or whatever it
was, where you went to get educated. 1
wanted yoa to come ont with II whole lot
of thoughts that showed right on their
face that they were expensive. l wanted
you to he able to tell down at the store how
much A, b and C would each AVE to
grind off n ircular grindstone four feet
three and one-half inches in diameter,
with n square hole In the center three and
o~ne-fourth inches each way, provided A
pays one-sixth Of the price If the stone, b
onc-hnlf, and c the balance, with the
understanding that c shall use o per cent.
more than his share, provided he will turn
the grindstone. | wanted you to be able
to talk with foreigners in their native
tongue the darkest night that ever blew.
l desired that you might become a man
who could walk up to an Italian as he
plays his crgan voluntary beneath your
NsAaNAiNhs aim ia maj ~ liz NA'AN
alarm clock language what you think of
him.
So 1t pleases me to know hat you are
printing II paper now, so you can show of
to advantage what / have invested in you.
DUNcoMBE COUNTY TIE
After n while | want to write a little ar
ticle for your paper, not so much for the
purpose Of saying anything, but in order
TO show the contrast between the polished
work Of a well educated, smart young
man and the crude efforts Of Il plain man
who Is entirely untitled for everything ex-
cept paternal purposes.
We are having n good time here in the
south, enjoying the climate and making
experiments with the butter which is pro-
duced here. Butter made in the fast
nesses of the hills in Buncombe county is
mostly Of n pale pearl gray, with n pin
stripe in 1t of ultramnrine. This does not
look badly, and it sets of a hoecake first
rate. This butter Is not eaten by the
people who manufacture it. They are
poor sometimes, and nave to eat most any
thing that will sustain life, but they draw
the line Mt this butter.
went out into the brush last week to
buy a load of wood, and l took ten with q
gentleman who lives in an open face cot
tage on the other side of the mountains.
l then discovered hat these people do not
eat their own butter. 1 did not notice any
butter, but they had gravy as n substitute
for it. Corn dodger in and of itself will
not melt in the mouth, so l looked around
for a means of lubricating my own. AT
that time the warm hearted and hospita-
BILE host made the following remark:
stranger, You mustn't DO squeamish.
Just waller yer dorger in the dope. That's
the way we do"
1 then proceeded to waller.-Bnl Nye in
Chicago News