Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-11-17
WIT AND HUM0R.

Chronicle.
Roberto Gimme some pie. Mamma
(reprovingly)-Gimme some pie
What else do you say? Robert-And
hurry up about it. It'd BITS
1t is wrong that the fate of con-
victed murderers should be delayed SO
long. When once justly convicted
they should be put through at break
neck speed.
Minister And do you like to 60 to
church with your papa and mamma,
BobDy?" Bobby Gncliued to be non
committal) We'll, guess | like it as
well as pa does -Ne1o YORK. Sun.
Wife Zone day after marriage) No,
dear, don't give me any moneys |
might lose it. Same wife Zone year
after marriage) II took $50 from your
pocket last night, John.-Nea0 York
Sun.
MA" said Bobby, ''if you'll give
me another piece of pie do you know
what / will do?" "What will you do,
Bobbyq" "Tn give my little sister
half Of it," said the generous boy
Neto York San.
Guide explaining the view Of noun
tain to a party)-And here is the place
where a young lady jumped off and
committed sricide. Lany-From mel
ancholyp Guide-No, nam; from
Boston. Judge.
If the heated controversy over the
administration of the American Board
could be cut up into chunks and put
under the seats of the horse-cars, how
comfortably we night ride this winter.
-Springfetd Union.
Mother(to daughter) Clara, doesn't
that young Mr.. Smith. who was so at
tentive to you last evening, toe in a
! tcifle? Daughter didn't notice it,
mamma. | understand he is worth
5000, 00o. --New YORK; San.
Lady (to fond mamma)-O, the
| little boy viii improve rs he grows
older Fond mamma-His papa gets
so out of patience with him! He in
tends to educate him, as he will be
good for nothing else. Judge.
Southern man (to Northern country
editor) You don't have desperadoes
in the North who rob railroad-train
passengers, do you? Editor (who has
had his pass taken up)-Yes, but they
don't go by that name. II The Epoch.
A Wisconsin court has decided that
n husband may open his wife's letters.
That is ali very well so far as it goes,
but what this country wants is a law
to protect a husband who forgets to
mail his wfe's letters. - omaha World.
stout man (whose appetite had been
the envy of his fellow boarders)- -
declare! | have lost three buttons of
my vest! Mistress &C the house (whc
had been aching to give him hinD-
You will probably find them in tho
dining-room, sir.-Judge.
Mrs. William Wright of New Castle
Ind, recently gave birth to four chill
dren, making in all family of four
teen children, including five pairs OF
twins. Let's see. Who was it sait
he'd rather be Wright than be Presi
dent? We wouldn't. -NorrtStoec1
Herald.
There is no sadder sight than to SEE
a fond mother who has spent $1,000 t,
fit out frecklc-faced girl for the sum
mer-resorts during the matchmaking
season packing her daughters dresses
away in camphor and sprinkling thu
tinerv with tears of disappointment. =
Boston Globe.
Mr.. Waldo (to Miss Breezy)--I
there much excitement in Chicago
Miss Breezy, over the Bacon-Shaks
peare controversy? Miss Breezy
yes, great deal. We Chicago people
MIR. Waldo. of course all think that j
was Bacon who wrote Shakespeare
Nel0 York Sun.
Adruggist the other day committed
a fatal error In putting up pre-
scription he poisoned the patient
When the terrible news was announce
TO him he tore out quite a handful c
his hair and remarked: "Well tina
was unlucky! 1t was my best Gus
toner. "-Judge.
"Mr Snyderly, hear that you rt
ferred to me as liar" "Yes, sir.
did. What are you going to do abou
ftp" II was going to ask you to pu
it down on paper for me. / want
get a Job sin an Omaha real-estat
office, and lon't need a better recon
mendation. "-LiHcoln Journal.
did you say never missed drink
sir?" a man demanded of his neighbo
in an angry and threatening manner
II may have done so, was the reply
"But | never drink, and you know it
Then you never miss it, do you?
That put the matter in a differer
light, and they took smoke. -Iezo
SYtings.
Doctor" he inquired, "what kin
of a man is your neighbor, Smiths
Il don't think much of him, reptile
the doctor, doubiously, cor his famil
either" "Do they annoy you?' An
nov me? No. But I've been locate
in this town for three years and non
of them have been sick yet.'-N
York Sun.
Il see it stated. remarked the hors
, editor. that the use of tobacco tent
: to destroy the memory. Il think
docs. replied the snake editor, an
{ he looked very hard Mt his colleagr
-,;l -. al hoya patippl TN,