Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-27
BRIGHT BITS.

A Wink in time strengthens the soda water,
Tee, Is SiTtiHgs.
WOMEN are poor. despicabe creatures,
anyway" said Mr.. Fiyaway. savagely.
Yes" assented MIS-. Flyaway. sweetly,
They are. ! always did like men better"
And then MIR Flyaway finished his break
fast with a great deal Of silent thOUght.-BOs-
ton Jot,Hdi of EducGti0E.
MRS. JoLLYBoY-Where on earth have you
been?
Mr.. il cannot tell a lie; I've been at M
ofish.
Mr.. J.-That's where we differ. can tell
a lIe-when ar one.
Cruel silence. during which something is
heard TO drop. ia, cad LdDlDOOn.
"AND so you've joined gymnasium" he
qg ,:To.,,
suppose?"
ION, no. I am simply going to learn how
to dodge rolling pins, press-Doards, teapOts
and general household furniture. "-Detr, Il
Free Press.
ITO TAKE off my hat at the play, agree"
She said.
You're an angel, by Jovew
SAID he.
She Continued: "If you'll promise me
That you'll not &c out for Glove
Tween the acts" And he answered, with
so, keep on your hat If you want to, my
dear" -Bgst0n Courier.
OMAHA HOUsE-HUNTnR- thought you said
this house was perfect gem?
Agent-lndeed it Is, nam.
Why, the ceilings have no height at ALL"
That's so; they'll be easy to keep clean,
man."
"And the windows are drcadfully small. !"
40 keep the sun from fading the carpe s.,
man."
"And there is no bathroom"
"Thats to save soap, mam."-Omdhd World.
"WHAT does this mean?" inquired one
friend OF another, as seated at cafe table he
handed over bill of fare pointing to the
words ''duck pate,'
With more of the air of a wag than an lgno-
ramus the friend replied:
"'Duck pate Don't you know what that
meansY Why, 1t warns you that just about
this part Of the menu they uncork the cham
payne, and If you don't duck you're pate
you're apt to get hit, YOaeherS Gasette,
A l2-YEAR-OLD schoolboy. VINO had to be
called dozen times in the morning before he
came down to breakfast, was reused from his
matin sumbers the other day by loud clap
Of thunder, the electric bolt knocking a big
hole IN the roof of the house, gong through
the ceiling, splitting open the hea aboard of
the bed, singelng his nalr and passing through
the floor and out of the kitchen door. The
lad partly opened his eyes, family murmur-
ed, Eyes, Pm coming" and Immediately
turned over for a fresh snooze,-N0rriStoaon
He,aLd
MRS. TOoToo-Now, Charlie, you're really
not going to bring Mr.. Early home with you
at this season of the year!
Mr.: Tootoo-Why, of course, dear. Why
not?"
because everything looks so bare! Why.
even the limbs Of the trees have nothing on
themu'
That's so; never thought of that. But
Pll send up some garden hose 1 saw adver-
tised, and l guess you can make them pre-
5entable. "-YOnkeyS Statesman.
SEVERAL evenings ago Major Stofah went
up on Sixteenth street 10 see young lady to
whom he has been very attentive for some
months. She was not visible at first. and her
l2-year- old brother entertained the Major
After various questions the Kid remarked
You amt contagious. are youP'
"Why, JOHNNIE, what do YOU mean by
THAR" asked the MAJOR. with an innocent
laugh of surprise.
"Oh, nothln', guess; | only heard mother
say you wasn't, cause sister had been irving
to catch you all winter, and she cOu dn't do it, -
The Major renamed the rest of the evening,
but hasn't been back since Lent began
Washington critic.