Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-03-31
NAPOLEON'S VICTORY.

DOnkcy VINO AuEcW
There was not such a mischievous
being on the farm as Napoleon Bona.
parte. aged eight. If the cows got in
to the corn. Boney was generally found
to be somehow responsible for it. not
because, like Little Boy Blue, he was
''undcr the hay-stack, fast asleep
for he kept his eyes wide open enough,
but. very likely. the blackberries
tempted him across the road, and he
just forgot to shut the gate; or SPUR.
rel hid itself beneath Il fence. and the
rails had to be pulled down before the
frightened little animal was captured.
Then away would Boney run. to show
the other small darkies his prize. while
the cattle took advantage of his alb
sence to make square meal of green
corn.
, Uncle 'Lias was the only person who
could keep the young scapegrace in
any sort Of order, and sometimes even
his authority failed.
For instance. Aunt Mahaley. Major
Washington's cook. who had made the
majors cruel when he was baby, died
suddenly. and soon as the news reach
ed Uncle 'Lias. he started Boney post
haste, to inquire at what hour the
funeral would take place. Now. so
grand burial as Major Washington
intended for his faithful servant was
scarcely more exciting to Uncle 'Lais
than to Boney; but. unfortunately. in
taking short cut through the ''briah-
patch" rabbit crossed his path. and
he set off in hot pursuit.
Away scudded the rabbit. over field,
under brambles. with Boney close be-
hind. till hollow tree offering shelter
to the poor fugitive. it rushed into the
trunk and out of sight. The boys
only chance was to gather together a
big pile of leaves and brushwood. to
kindle fire. and smoke the rabbit
from its hiding place. He was anx-
iously awaiting the result If this ex-
pertinent when an unexpected footstep
reached his ear.
A moment after. Uncle 'Lias had
seized him from behind. and WAS vigor-
.ousiy applying some of the brush to
.ano.har purpose. Dear me! didn't
poor Boncy catch it! In vain he tried
to escape by declaring he had seen the
funeral pass. and thought it too late to
20 home then. Uncle LAS was only
the more enraged.
dc idcc of neighb'in sister bein'
laid ter rest 'dOut spectacle mourn
er from our place jincin' in de per-
ccsshuny" said the old man. emphasiz-
ing his remarks Oh Boney's back. zen
all on count or \ ole rabbit pintin' his
tail q. fool nigger!'
In fact. Aunt Mahalev was not buried
till next day. and Boney. by way
of further punishment. was de-
l,iveS of the pleasure OF assisting ut
the ceremony.
This was ,aapsrte's first defeat.
The second happened in this wise:
Uncle 'Lias said he must have horn
t" call the field hands in to meals.
ut want no use er him hOllerin' :.
lOUS CS a u1N COuN hAUhC SWiVe Cd
much noise" he said.
When somebody suggested that the
big d;naer-bell would answer every
purpose, Unc.e 'LiaS said it wOuldn't.
and that ended discussion. To satisfy
the good soul. Boney was dispatched to
bride the donkey. and sent off to town
as soon as possible. H. carried a
written order to hardware shop for
"a tin horn and a mail bag. which he
was to leave at the pOst-Office for let
tiers, while he executed his other COM
mission.
Arrived at the shop. he delivered his
order into the hands of clerk. and
cast his eyes around in search Of an
instrument that would fulfill Uncle
ELias' requirements.
The clerk politely handed him one
after another for inspection. but NapO.
leon Bonapar;c was not going to dc
any thing rash. so he presently mus
Acrcd courage to ask:
kin l jes' try de SCUM cr one desc
we're? Unc' 'Lias. he mighty perticSlel
bout de SCUM. en- he tell me eff brings
him u hawn dat amt jes' right in SCUM
dey amt gwine to be a whole bone lief
in my body"
Whereupon he proceeded to blow no.
one. but all the horns. until the patient
clerk was obliged to request him to Sc
lect an instrument from those already
tested. or take one on faith, as such {
noise would inevitably drive every Gus
toner from the shop. Thus adjured
Buney made his choice. and aftel
stopping at the post-office, started fol
home.
About five o'clock he appeared upor
the top of a hill. just in front of thu
house. An enormously-stuffed mail
bag hung over one shoulder, protrud