Arizona weekly citizen., 1887-04-30
A DUDE IE TRAINING.
Trying to Clothe Himself with Muscle.
 Under the Barber's Hands.

Trying to Clothe Himself with huscie.
 Under the Barber's Hands.
 It was my privilege the other day tO see a dude. not exactly au naturel, but with out any of the garnishinCs that would tone him up and set of his peculiar points to their best advantage. lt was an awful sight and it shook my belief in natural selection and the progress Of the race until the chimneys all tumbled down and the clustering came of. lt was m a place where the poor little creatures go to get themselves improved by gymnastlc exercises and where l saw all the secrets
 of their toilets You needE task me how
 I happened 10 be there or how l managed
 to see all did see. Just read and be
 grateful.
 Well. about the dude. Hewas develop
 ing his form. And it needed it. I've
 seen girls pad, who looked about as much
 like their dressed selves as a T lhanAsslv- ing turkey all ready Co be carved looks
 like the strutting lord ot the harnyaro that he once was. But that was nothing
 to the transformation there had been in this creature since ] had seen him coming down Fifth avenue few minutes before He had on the usual attire Tor athletic exercises and was sec-slwins away a. some kind of an arrangement for develop
 inpthe muscles of his arms and chest. lis poor little lead pencil neck looked as ii 90 sudden whiI of air would snap it in two and without the support of his big white collar his ears l0omcd cut like wings l The excuse for clothes that men wear d- that kind of work was supposed Co iit him skin tight, but they hung around him in such folds and wrinkle. like drapery, 1 that it relieved all my embarrassment in l looking at him. His arms were bare, and ! they were the thinnest, sbinuiest. s.ill1W- ! est. most worthless looking pair Of arms l that YOU ever saw. Let him tus away at his best and he couldn't get upa bulge of the biceps bigger than your thumb. ! He gave it up after he had pulled and | bobbed around and bulged out his eyes | and got red in the face for about five min | utes.
 ''Weally, now. you know, I'll have Co ! stop. I'm beastly blown
 | The attendant suggested that II be
 found it too difficult perhaps he'd better
 not try that form of exercise any mOTc- | But he shook his head sadly.
 .NO. I'll have to keep on, for, weally | don't you know, my tailor has tO put sl | much padding in my clothes it makes me
 tired to carry it. must keep up this
 beastly thing
 They wanted him to take a cold sponge
 bath. but he shook his head in terror and | declared it gave him chill tO think of it, so they took him away into clusiOn ca | rub him down with almond oil instead, | and proceeded tO dress him.
 Later he went to a baber who makes a
 speciality of beautifying the sw.lls. There
 they trimmed his eyelashes, pulled out the
 scattering hairs between his eyebrows. | rubbed his face all over with some kind ui | a gentle cosmetic, curled his poor little | pretense of a mustache with an iron. gave his head a perfumed shampoo, extracted
 some hairs that came down too low un | one side of his forehead, spent an hour
 shaping and polishing his finger nails, and when he was finally ready t0 come ont from their hands what do you think they gave him tO take homes IL was machine
 that looked as fl it might be first cousin to a clothes pin. and the fellow was to wear it on his nose at night HethougAi
 his nose was too biz for the rest of his
 face, that fl he could only reduce italittle
 his features would ''weally be quite we-u-
 lah, " and so he was going Co put this cor
 set on at nighL-Clara Belle in Cincinnati! | EuQuirer.