Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1887-03-24
Bill Nye and Big Hats.
He Adds His Anathema to the
General Chorus.
Telling How His View Of Dramat.
ic Performance Was Obscured
by Elongated Millinery.
The late William Shakespeare once
wrote in an autograph album these
lords

The late William Shakespeare once
wrote in an autograph album these
words /:
All the worlds stage.
Sincerely your friend,
VIM. SHAKESPEARE"
Perhaps he meant that there were
flies on it-but we will not undertake
to enter tins field of thought. However
to speak in Il more serious way, and
treating the subject in more dIgnified
way, will state that after number oi
years. scrutiny of the world, | am con.
yinced that the great bard used this ex-
preston in a Ggurative sense only.
Could he pick up bis pen to-day, he
would either erase .he above line, OF
add to it so that 1t would read
"All the worlds stage, and nobody
but the woman in the high hat can see
what is going on upon it. Yours Bit
terly, BILL"
1t is not new field, perhaps, this
discussion of the tall hat, but | desire
in my poor, weak way to add my testi-
monY TO the testimony of those who
have sat down on said hat. feel Of a
truth-occasionalJy-that this high hat
is making an old man out Of me, and
drawing lines of care here and there
over my fair, young face. Here at a
time of life when l ought to be in the
full flush and pride.of manhood, l find
myself no longer able TO build the fire
III the morning, and my breath, which
was once as robust as the npas tree, now
comes in short pants.
The tall hat with wad of timothy,
or fiye-pound pompon at the apex
thereof, has brought this about. How
would a man look, VINO might sit in the
bald headed row, wearing joint of
stoyepipe on his head, trimmed with
hay t? Has it not been the custom for
years to place bald-headed men on the
front row, because they offer no OBJ
struction to the vision.
And now, what do we see :?
We do not see anything
| will leave it to any disinterested
person to say whether | do not love and
admire women, whether aggregated or
segregated. but she does do some
things which as her friend and admirer
| deeply regret
Not long ago l had the pleasure of
attending one of Mr.. Booths perform
ances in which he took the part Of
Hamlet with great credit TO himself, as
l afterward learned from member of
the orchestra who saw the whole per-
formance.
paid large price week before
hand for seat at the Hamlet perform
ance, because L had met Mr.. Booth
once In the Rocky Mountains and had
made deep impression on him. 1 had
also told him that if he ever happened
to be in town where was lecturing [
would dismiss my audience to come
and hear him, and he might do as he
thought best about shutting up on the
following night to come and hear me.
Well, | noticed AT first, when l went
in, that the row before me was unoccu-
pied, and | gathered myself up in a
strong manly embrace and hugged my
self with joy. The curtain bumped it
self, and the first act was about in the
ace of producing itself, when a meek
little gentleman, with an air of con-
sclous guilt, came.down the aisle in ad-
vance of a woman's excursion, consist
ing of four female members of his fam
lily, l judged. He looked about over
the house, timidly took off his coat and
seemed to be preparing himself for the
vigilance committee. Then he sat down
to see whether executive clemency
could do anything for him.
The first woman of the four was prob.
ably over forty, and yet with her al
most beardess face she looked scarcely
thirty-eight. She wore tall erect hat,
with Il short nlume in II, made by pull
ing the paint brush tail out Of an from
gray mule and dying it deep crimson.
She wore other clothing, but that did
not incense ne so much as this bat, which
l had to examine critically all the even-
ing.
She moved her head also, and kept
time to the music, and breathed hard
i'm places, and shuddered once or twice.
She also spoke to the miserable man
who brought her. Her voice was a
rich baritone, with low xylophone ac-
tion, and she breathed like the passion
ate exhaust of an oyerworked freight
engine. When she spoke to her escort
l noticed that he shortened up about
four inches and seemed to wishshe had
never entered society.
The other three women had broad
hats with domes to them, and the one
who sat on my right also sat on her
foot. This gave her a fine opportunity
to look out through the skylight of the
opera house now and then. The next
one to her wore her deceased Plymouth
Rock rooster in her hat. The fourth
one sat in front of an oldish gentleman
who went out between the acts and
came in with a picked olive in his
mouth each time. He could not see
anything on the stage, but he crawled
up under the brim of this wOman's hat,
with his nose in the meshes of her hair,
and his hot, local option breath in her
neck, patiently trying to see.