Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-06-29

should read the Declaration of Independ'
ence. Then Miles Brewer got up ant
said:
"Fellers, 1 had calklated on readin' that
ar dockyment myself. l told q wider woman
that I'm goin' to see, that I would read it,
an Of l don't she'll think that I amt got nc
influence in this here community, an my
chances will be spilled right thar"
"Now, Miles," replied Colonel Swagerty,
handle. I'm an older man than You air,
an am ther'fo' mo in accord with the
dockyment. Tell you whatll be about
right: Ill read it fust, an then ef the
boys low it amt read right, wy then you
ken give it q whirl."
Sim a thousan' times alleged to you"
Miles replied, "but l amt a-goin' to read
no second hand declaration fur no man; 80
you ken count me out"
"Oh. / reckon we ken worry along with
out you" said Colonel Swagerty.
"All right" rejoined Miles. "Ef thar's
any worryin' to be done you fellers air goin'
to do il; you ken bet yore old dockyment
"Sorry he went off thater way" said the
chairman of the committee.
"Let him Co." replied Colonel Swagerty.
HE amt big enough to read q d%ockyment
tuhS hINCIb ZIG WuOlC SOuutIy I'LL CA uc
don't want to come out an enjoy hisse'f,
wy, let him stay away. He don't know
'zackly what the whole things about, no.
how. He never heard of the battle of New
Orleans, an Of cou'se haint expected to
know that the dockyment kivers that purtic-
uler confick."
The day was beautiful. A number of
benches had been arranged in the grove,
and a gayly decorated stand had been
erected by the Colonel, who, proud of the
distinction which he had won, and deter
mined that the ~"dockyment" should not be
Inundated while in bis hands, had bought
lumber with his own money, and had, with
his own artistic paw" painted an eagle on
a bed sheet and hung it ON q swinging
limb Just above the stand. Tho brass
band from over the creek came in o wagon
which had been used a few days before TO
convey q condemned negro to the place Of
execution; and q cruel fellow, who is al
delights in throwing upon the glowing
Goals of good cheer, remarked that the
negro ought to have been brought to
the celebration, and that the band
would have rendered more lasting
services to the country by being
hanged. In view Of the fact that the band
boys had only practiced during the rainy
days of four weeks land the farmers had
complained of dry weather., there was, l
reluctantly admit, some justice in the re-
mark. When the band had ceased to har-
ass that great national air. molly OAR
ling, the Colonel climbed upon the plat
form. He sat down, and after looking over
a number of papers, turned to a friend and
with an air Of great perplexity said:
Bill. BY ginss' I've lost that preshus
THAT'S bad" Bill replied. "Aint you
got somethin' else thatn do as well2"
II amt got a thing but cut-throat
mortgages.
Read n Of them," Bill suggested.
I'm almost afeerd."
"Oh, you neenter be-. Nobody will ever
know the difference, an sides that, the
Declaration of Independence was only the
liftin' of a mortgage after ALL"
That's a fact, Billie. You've got q
great head on o u, my son, an ef you
watch yoro p'ints like yore Aunt Nancy
watchin' a kittle Of b'ilin' soap, you'll own q
crossroads to' an a new suit Of jeans one
Of these here days. Wall" getting up,
the brinle cat is about ready to make o
jump"
Then he faced the crowd and said: EEL
Ter citizens, We have met here on this
solemn occasion-not SO blamed solemn as
you mout suppose-met on this lively oc-
casion-not SO lively but it mout be worse
to celebrate this great celebration. l
will nov read to you q dockyment that"
just then there arose the fearful cry of
Mad dogs!" mad dogs!" Six or eight
terrific looking dogs had dashed into the
crowd, and the people were running for
their lives. Three Of the dogs dashed up
to the speakers stand, and, sitting down on
the ground, pointed their noses at the
Colonel and the members Of the commit