The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-02
BRIGHT BITS.

A LARGE HEAD is a sign of brains, but big
head is a sign of folIy.-Philodetphia CaA
Mr. RoB1YsoN-Why, declare, Miss Fanny,
your mamma is getting quite stout.
Miss Fanny-Ah that is because we all make
so much of her.-Ftn.
THE worst thing about going fishing on Sun
day is that you have to take long, roundabout
road to get to the fishing grounds without being
seen. Boston Courier.
SOCIETY WOMAN understand Miss K. is
perfect bud-never came out at all.
Second Ditto-Yes, poor little innocent! She
never smeled pOwder-was never even in an en-
gagement.- Burlington Free Press.
j. PAPARHIGoPAuLus is a famous Persian lin
guist who is now visiting New Orleans. He is
called a linguist because he can pronounce
his own name without biting his tongue or
splitting the roof Of his mouth.-Minneapol
Tribune.
"A SMALL PHYSIQUE at times is a great disad-
vantage to man." he said. Recently / was
grossly ins,rlted by great big duffer, and 1
could only pocket the insult
I'm what way did he insult you?'
lie offered me bride. ''-New York Sun.
A LITTLE VILLAGE of Provence is setting itself
up as q fashionable resort. We quote from its
printed circular: Thanks to the exceptional
salubrity of the climate we enjoy, we may cite
our section of the coast as that having older cen
tenarianS than any other. French Fun.
WOMEN are unreasonable creatures" OBJ
served Brown, as he ordered another round for
the boys. Now, there's my wife. Before we
were married, when | went to see her she always
thought it was too early for me to go home, and
now can't go home early enough to suit her.
-Nel0 York Sun.
UNDER the head of Lost and Found" a de-
tectve bureau advertiseS ''antecedents, daily
habits, etc. II will be a very usefuld bureau If
il succeeds in losing the antecedents of some
people and teaches men who have been out late
on business to find their daily habits" the next
morning.-LUe.
ANGELINA-What ever made you tell Uncle
Harpagon you're making $1,000 year, when
with all your hard work and all my economy,
we can scarcely make both ends meet!
Edwn-My love, he's worth half million,
and if he thinks we don't want it, he'll very
likely leave it all to us Punch,
Twas not always in this station of life" said
the hack driver plaintively as he reached for his
fee.
"Indeed:"
mo, sir. AT one time was well-known and
promising lawyer"
well, how do you feel over your promo
tion9" was the unfeeling rejoinder Merchant
Traveller.
SOME years ago learned counsel, of much
volubility and an undying length of wind, had
prolonged a reiterative argument to a pitch
which the judicial sufferer could bear no longer.
Il don't want to interrupt you, Mr.. - said
the Judge blandly, but you've said that be-
fore"
I'm sure beg your Lordships pardon; had
no recollection of having done So
mo doubt" replied the Judge;" sit was a
long time ago. London World
AT the Whppersnapper Club:
Little Goldbugge docking at his watch)-Oh,
cuss 1t all.
Cadson-What's the mattaw9
Little Goldbugge Cad heah it is thwee
O'Clock, and my cussed fellow hasn't brought
me my half pawSt two suit yet.
Cadson-Well, he'll be along pwesently
Little Goldbugge-Y aas, demmit all but I've
gawt an appointment at hawf pawst thwee
acwoss the way, and how the dayvil can 1 keep
it in a two o'clock Suit?-TOton Topics.