Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-02-03
THE MAJORS STORY.
London Society.

s'By the living jingo!' said the major,
stretching out his legs lite farther un-
der the mess table; and bringing down
his hand upon it with such force that the
glasses rang again-"by the living lingo!
I don't believe there's a man In the regi-
ment, or in the whole British army either
that's had as many, aye, half as many
narrow saueaks for his life as l have
had.'
General attention was Immediately
concentrated upon the major, for the
above speech was familiar to all present
When 1t burst from the majors lips we
all knew that his wonderful memory had
recalled to him some hairbreadth escape,
some daring exploit of which he was the
hero; or, which was just as good, that
his equally wonderful imagination had
conjured up some such picture, still hav-
ing himself for the central figure.
And when the majors memory or i'm
agination supplied him with an anecdote,
he was always generously eager to impart
it to his friends or brother officers. In
deed his stories were told three times at
the very lowest rate of computation, but
then they were re-told with such numer-
GUS variations and additions that they
fell flat on Our ears.
known time played with variations"
where you are hardly able to pick out the
original air from the multitude of thrills
and turns and quivers in which it is
shrouded. So with the ma ors stories.
Sometimes, hearing one for the second
time, we hardly recognized it as an old
friend until the grand crisis or denounce-
ment was reached, all the details having
altered so rparvelously since the first time
of recital.
But let the major tell the story that is
evidently trembling on the tip of his
tongue, in his own way and without fur
Their interruption or explanation.
"And what's more, besides having got
safely out of some pretty scrapes my
self, as you all know"-there was a
loud chorus of asserting voices, and
fervently uttered True for you major,
and the saints be praised for that same!
from young Irish subaltern, lately join
ed, to whom the majors stories still wore
the gloss of novelty, though his irrever-
ent and meagerly yelled skepticism caus-
ed that eloquent ceconteur to view him
with some susplcion-"i dare say you
also know" he continued, sthat I've help
ed to get other men out of them too. But
/ don't know that I ever saw any man
except myself, of coUrse-nearer being
swallowed up by the jaws of death than
our colonel was one day out in India.
For some time past we had no regular
fighting, and were in hopes that we might
be able to negotiate peace without fur
Their bIoodshed. But meanwhile there
was kind of petty, guerrilla warfare
going on. The cowardly ours of natives
never showed themselves openly, but
would hide in the woods, by which our
camp was pretty well surrounded"
ga right spot for picnic party, but
quare situation for a camps murmured
the subaltern, who was promptly adjured
to:
"Dry up, and let the major speak"
Concealed in this covet, they would
pick off one man here and another there,
from immense distances; for, you know,
they had got possession of lot of old
rifles, land when once they had found out
how to use them, they were beggars to
shoot. And the most agg1avating part of
it was, that though they ran fast enough
when discovered, yet if you did get hold
of them, and it came to the point, they
didn't seem to mind being killed in the
least. As sure as I'm living man, they
seemed, like the cells, rather to enjoy it.
l suppose they knew there were plenty
more to follow; but, 'pon my honor, it's
astonishing how cheap those fellows seem
ed to hold human life.
.'Wen, as I was going to say, our col
onel was as bravo man as ever breathed
the breath of life, but he was rash, terri
bly, rash; and one day he was strolling
about between the camp and the wood,
when happened to catch sight of him.
"'The very place where poor Willis was
bowled over last week. said / to myself.
I'll just keep an eye on the colonel, and
see that he comes to no HARM
$50 1 strolled out after him, and then I
remembered that after Willis was shot by
some scamp lurking among the trees we
had posted sentries at short distances
along the outer edge of the wood. We
called it a wood, but it was really long
narrow belt OF trees skirting the camp:
However, I thought might as we'll walk
round to where the sentries were on duty,
and make sure that all was right. But
when got to the place where could have
sworn that the first one of them ought to
have been standing, there was no sentry
there. So went on to the second post,
but it was deserted, too, and SO was the
third and the fourth. In fact there was
not a man out of the half dozen to be
found. .
"Of course I knew at at once that there
was some treachery on foot, and / re-
solved &c h urry back to the camp to give
the ALARM. So off started in hot haste.
I took short cut through the wood in
the direction of the camp, but I hadn't
got more than half way across when a
thick clump of brushwood aroused my
suspicious as very likely place for an
enemy to be be skulking in. So, keeping
my revolver in readiness, Invent up to it,
resolved TO unearth any of the tricky
scoundrels who might have chosen it as
snug little spot in which TO lie perdu. I
plunged in boldly, but keeping sharp
lookout.
"When got into tbs middle, there was
small open space. and IN it lay-you
may judge of my horror when I came
suddenly upon them-the bodies of the
six murdered men, huddled one upon the
top of the other. Soldier though 1 was,
and don't think an oyer-cowardly one,
I felt inclined to turn AID fly from the
horrible sight. You may hardly credit