The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1887-09-15
QUEER COUNTRY THIS.
Carl Dunder Jumps on the Wrong Ma
~ = and Becomes Sick All Over. - I

Carl Dunder Jumps on the Wrong Man
~ I and Becomes Sick All Over. 50 -
Sergeant vhas. some warrant oudt
to arrest mep'' softly inquired Carl
sDunder, as he tip-toed into the Wood
bridge street station house. .e sezs sss
'.Not that. I know, of-whyp" replied
Sergeant Bendal.
''Vhell, two or three days ago a
strange man7comes in my place. Vhas
l Carl Dunderp / vhas.. All right.
Mr.. Dunder I vhas of the Board Of
Health. und like to look in your cell
lar for dead rats sund cholera. Dot
seems all right to me, iund so light
der candle und he goes doun. He vhas
gone a long time, und when he comes
'oop heasays dot cellar vhas all right
He vhas in New York, Chicago, Toledo
und odder places, und he neafer see
soochsa clean place. ean io@'s '2sf
i'tSome swindler OF course,,.' s4sa %.
''Vhell, in. der afternoons .anodder
mans vhalks in on me. Vhas I Carl
Dunder? II vhas. All right Mr..
Dunder. vhas dot sewer in your cellar
all rightP If he yhasn't, dot sewer
gas fills der whole place und you vhas
taken to der bone-yard. Dot seems all
right, and I let him go down He vhas
gone, a good while, und When he comes
oop he says he vhas in Buffalo, C:ncin-
natl, Syracuse und Baltimore, und lie
neafer see sooch a sewer pefore.i
HE was another swindler." -.
'Vhell, dis morning the third man
comes in. Vhas I Carl Dundera I
| vhas- All right Mr.. Dunder, / vhas
der Fire Commission, Maybe your
cellar thas all right if you vhas cut off
by fire, und maype she needs some fire.
escapes. Please light dot candle und I
| shall see. He vhas gone twenty min
utes, und when he comes oop heswipes
off his shin nit his elbow. Dot put
some ideas in my headt, but he says he
vhas in Kansas City, Omaha, Milwau-
kee and st. Paul and he neafer saw a
cellar fixed oop like mine. In case OF
fire he could shump out like rabbit. !"
''What greenhorn you are!''
"Vhell, maype I vhas. l 60 down
cellar .pooty quick to look aroundt, und
l find dot dose fellers drink three bot
ties of my wine und' shteal some more.
Dotvhas a game on me, sergeant
''Of course it was.'' agt 6r4
"Vhell, made oop my mind dot der
next feller pays for all. Shust after
dinner he comes in. He Hvhas sweet
und shmiling, Vhas Carl Dunder?
vhas. All right. Mr.. Dunder 1 like
to 60 down cellar to see your -"
..WhatPn Sal;
''Shust aboudt dot time I shump for
him, und in two minutes he vhas
pulverized. l make a mop of him,
und / smash two tables NIT his heels.
He crawls out doors after awhile, und
when he vhas gone half an hour my
| telephone rings Hello! Vhas dis Car
Dunder? He vhas. Vhell, Mr.. Dunder
you haf almost killed der mans we sent
to read your gas meter und she Will
cost you fife hoonered dollar to settler
/ No! And compounded the wrone
man?,' :. .
fVhell, how can I help it? One day
false expressrnan brings me shtone
in a. package und collects eighty cents.
Der next day anodder man brings me a
I package, und after lick him find she
vhas a. bundle from der shtore Ont
man comes in .und collects money tt
build a shurch. He .yhas shwindler,
und ] look oudt., 7 gif der next mar
some awful kicks, und he proofs dot ht
vhas a preacher. You see, it vhas al
1 because nopody vhasi like himself tive
times. Sergeantr' ad ssg.
I well. ="
r. 81 vhas going home und go to bedt
4 Ivhas seek all oafer. If ten hoonered
men come to shwindle me it vhas all
right und doan' say word. If yo,
Z ring oop my telephone tonight und
vhas hanged by der neck in de wood
shedyou can say dot died because o
seeeh a queer country '-Detroit Ere
4 Press.
Il