Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-11-09
A VIpDLE-AGED CHERUB.

am al nv wits end. As L write,
nv case uf raZors Is open before me;
the bright blades, undImned, aasl and
uuduied by use, virgin as they came
from the cutters forge, lie ready To my
hand. but my hand shrInkS from the
last, the desperate stroke. At 40,
health. money, wife, children Though
against them | well may bear grudge), g,
even, / may say, honor and an unblem-
lshsd reputation, are not things TO be
abandoned without "A struggle ct
life and all the rest are embittered TO
Inc by enc misfortune, which no efforts
have enabled me to overcome, no stoi-
clsm has awaited to disregard; and, had
the courage, priest as L am, L would
strike the blow, and suicide should
drop the mercIful curtain upon the
pltIful farce Of my existence Let me
See Il peuuiug the tale of my woes viii
nerve my hand to end them.
Yet the tale will but move the world
to laughter. My Wife has long pooh
poohed me and urged Pe mot 10 think
Of il - as well urge It'd eeI not to think
of sk,uning, or the fug htive cur to DIS
regard the kettle tiel p its tail. but
then she is support a1nearance of a
and a good deal OF
kFsaa4ssE As !. SStlg, Sgl, 5ia .sxmpathislsaSs'ff issS
NJ NJ f S5,f v5ur complaint. But some
nau l1a,, n,. nsvsr are satisfied. Ali L know
t. to-, tors - regret and envy are mere
mockssG..g sit5s "a the possession OF gray
hairs and gouty toes, they know they
can trihe with me as they please.
l can scarcely bear to dlvulge my
q ma
and it, but 1 must. My curse is this,
l, a man OF A, n husband, the father
OF a great lout of a lad and gawky
girl, a priest IN holy orders and a
bachelor Of divinity, have the face, the
figure, the voice, and the carriage or
cherry checked boy of H. Ali you
may laugh, but none can know what l
endure till they have tried 1t. just
consider. | look like a nice, healthy,
lower school boy. My cheeks are pink
and smooth; my hair is yellow and
rough and plenty of it; my waist is
slim, my back is flat; | walk with a
sprlngy step; at times involuntarily i
run, and believe l still could beat any
alto in my old school choir.
IL was not till after 1 left Oxford
that I became conscious of my atflic-
ton. At college many of US do like
boys, and act Ike boys too My post
was naturally the pleasant one or cox
Of the college eight, and although raft
men and barges guifawed privily when
l came down To the boats, and little
boys from the towpath mimicked my
shrill, imperative voice, still l was
petted and popular, as cox IL by virtue
OF his office, and l was happy. They
carried me SHOULDER high round the
quad and RACED ME on the table at
''wipos' 10 pipe my treble songs, and
= l felt IKE a titmouse beside the
giants Of my crew, l was but fulfilling
my steersman's mission. Those, in
deed, were golden days. But from the
time l announced a determination tO
take orders, trouble grew up around
me. Tutors said they doubted il
should have enough influence" clergy
men, 10 whom I applied for title.
seemed skeptical of my ''seriousness;'
and when l called on the examining
Chaplain TO the bishop of my choice
and explained the object of my visit,
The good man looked puzzled, but
smiled kindly and asked with n surtout
point de Zele ar if didn't think / had
better have not troubled to come 10
nm TIL ! was within more measure
able distance of the earliest age for
ofdnatiOu. And ut that moment i
was u.
At that time, indeed, I knew
iooked boyish; but then 1 often felt
oOyiSh, and not being a vain peacock,
gave little critical study to my ap-
pea'ance; vanity is not my besetting
s,h, aud in those days I did not stare
g.oomly in the glass for the purpose of
Eetectiug some hope, some promise OF
ase' er, indeed, for any other purpose.
Enough below the middle height, am
uoS dwarf SilG rs yet the awful con-
Nctlon OF the truth lad not forced
ItSeit upon me. l did not kRoE how
ehlldlike front 1 presented. At last,
however, l obtained a curacy in par
t.Ai Where We had a tine old church, a
eotS.det-b Die choir, and several other
tuEales, anu, EEalng my vicar kindly,
AtH hls wife positively affectionate, l
sNued down to my work and looked
!9tWard ~, 10 a happy and benefcent life.
y, " 1uIn Z week my hopes were crushed.
lhets befell me q calamity which has
vi. hs eVeT since blighted and dis
plritt>N being.
had iu,, ""en ordained, and was
seEy tul! OF the solet..'' sna tus us
a.. s.SS OF my new position. We 'us.
stu t.eu wedding in humble life, anu
r,o.-.' oue u'ii an hour was 10 elapse before
uS ~. l had taken subordinate
80. 80 ~ indiSsolubly yoking a bashful
,sttS laSs 70 very bemused looking
~, ~ nom the plow tail. and was wait
- IA my surplica for tho saryica in
N1 was, So to speak, to make a