The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-21
- BRIGHT BITS.

A ROLLING STONE gathers no moss, but
bicycle rider accumulates lots of real estate on
his b2ck.-MaicGukee Journal.
ART is long, and time is heeting," remarked
the young portrait painter, as he introduced his
watch to the pawnbroker. Puck.
a sPINsrER refused an offar of marriage from
n well-to-do bachelor because she had been told
that he was an enthusiastic relic hunter.-.Ner-
Chant Traveller.
THE Sun Of Sunday contains an editorial on
the American party 1t fails to call attention
TO the paradox that the most fashionable
American party is German.-LUe.
The Indiars have taken to smoking cigar
cites Now let them stand around sucking the
heads of their canes, and the problem of their
civilization is solved. -Sprtnghetd Union.
\ LONDON PAPER speaks of health resorts for
horses localities where members of the first
equine families are sent for change of air"
Would it be proper TO call such resorts horse
s:--NOTrtst0lcR Herald.
HE-Oh, my darling, you will be mine, will
you? When may l talk to your mother-to-
She-Yes-that is-no no! Tomorrow is
washday. Waterbury american.
IAN unfortunate mistake occurred in last
weeks edition" plaintiyely mutters Custer
county paper. I'VE referred to Mr.. Taken,
candidate for Sheriff on the opposition ticket,
as 'rough,hewn diamond 1t should have
will forgive the mistake. "-OmdhG Bee.
MAMMA said young lady just home from
school, gazing upon Alexander Harrisons sOpen
Sea-" lis this an oil painting or a water
color?n
"Shn answered her mother, with look of
surprise and chagrin. Its a water color.
Don't you see the water:'-Chicogo Tribune.
FATHER-Aint you going to work ?
Lazy Son-Guess not.
Il don't understand how anybody can loaf
such weather, as this Why, it is real pleasure
to work now"
Il know it, but don't want to give myself up
too much to mere enjoyment. '-TerdS StftiRgS.
WAS the prisoner quite incapable con-
stable?' asked the Magistrate
Very nearly incapable. your Worship but |
don't think that he'd been quite so bad if the
lamp posts 'ad been nearer together They're
awful wide apart in the road where l picked
him up, said the good-natured otficer.-Jtdge.
Honor the pumpkin vinel
Long may rs tsnurils Irvine
Over the land!
Blessed he those who wear
Crisp hayseed in their hair
Glorious band?
Minneapolis Tribune
CusToMER-Aunt Dinah, 1 am glad to see that
YOU are getting along so well in the hot corn
business 1t fully meets your expectations,
presume?
Aunt Dlnah--Yes, sab, from peculiarly point
1t do but dis constant sposure to de elements
am mighty rough on de complexion-'de it
AM. sah.-Tfd- Bits.
THERE was heated discussion in hotel the
other night. Il tell you. sir, said one Of the
disputants. there is no law made but what the
people can change"
YES there is, said newcomer; there is
one law which no man or people can change
What Is that"
"a mother-n.law "-Scranton Truth.
MORMON w1FE-Pretty time of night for you
to come home
Husband-lts only IL O'Clock.
"Only ~ o'clock.'
"Yes Won know when we were engaped Won
never let me leave you until nearly midnight"
what of itf''
I'm engaged to Miss DePink now. "-Omaha
World.
1T is an awful thing that there should be such
persons as Margaret Cain, who has been con-
vcted of drunkenness no less than $50 times at
various metropolitan courts. But there is a
touch Of grim hnrnor about the womau's last
exploit. which has procured her a two hundred
and thirty-first conviction. She turned up,
very, very drunk, at the Leman Street Police
Station and began singing Home, Sweet
Home. "-LondonsGlObe.
THERE was once great CONSERVATION in the
| Office of lions Herald when the writer of an
obituary article upon mother in Israel having
said in pious phrase tlat she died and claimed
| the promises. the paper was made TO aver that
| she had died and cleared the premises" And
| it was out at Worcester, Mass, where the Rev
| George H. Hepworth having declared in a pub
| lie address II am not free lance" the sedate
| S5ry gave him fame by printing the sentence IL
want a free lunch. Boston Transcript.
LADY was taking her little daughter down
| town and something had gone wrong and she
| was CRYING very hard The policeman on the
beat, whom she feared for his uniform, was
| standing on the corner as they passed. He was
very friendly, but she did not trust his friend
| liness very much.
What little girl is that crying and making so
much noisef'
"Boo-hoo, boo-hoo-it isn't me; it's some
other little girl--boo-hoo, boo-hOo. San Fran
| cisco Chronicle.