The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1887-10-05
Mr.. AND MRS. BOwSER.
THE TRIBULAT1oNs OF A MATRI-
MoNIAL FIRM.
Mrs. Bowser Describes the Attempt
Made by Her Husband TO Sew
on Some buttons.

Mrs. Bowser Describes the Attempt |
Made by Her Husband to Sew |
on Some Buttons.
The other evening, when Mr.. Bowser
stepped off the street car at our corner,
one of his suspender buttons flew off. |
This may or may not have been the first |
time in his life that he lost suspender
button, but he took it so much to heart |
that guess it was the first. He came
into the house with the look of a man
who had been deeply injured, and
shouted at me:
''Do you know whether I've got a sim
gle button left on any of my garmentsg"
"What is it, dear2"
"Don't what-is-it-dear me, Mrs.
Bowserl If you were half a wife you'd
look over my clothes once in five or ten
| years and catch up the loose buttons"
"Why, there's only one button gone,
and I'll have that fixed in two jiifys. Let
me get my needle and"
"No, WON'T 1t has been plain to
me for the last year that sooner or later
I'd have to do my own sewing, and now
the climax has come"
"Just one minute, Mr.. Bowser.'
'Not one second / shall hereafter
sew on my own buttons, and l might as
well begin nowl"
had needle and thread and thimble
at hand, but he turned away. Supper
was all ready and when mentioned the
fact he replied
$50 and eat it, thenl have no time.
have 300 or 300 buttons to sew ON
lie wouldn't even permit me to give
him the needle and thread. He hunted
around and found darning-needle and
some coarse thread, and went off to his
room and locked the door with a great
bang l went up after supper and
looked through the key-hole. He hadn't
got the button on yet. AS the needle
was larger than the eyes, he had tried to
enlarge the latter with bodkin, and
thereby broke them all into one. He
was bothered to know how to proceed,
when | called
"Mr. Bowser, won't you let me inG"
No, ma'am! Your place is in the
parlor, reading the last French love
story, while your husband sews on his
buttons!"
"But shan't get you another button"
mo! There are no other buttons in
the house, or if there was you wouldn't
know it shall go down town and buy
some.h
He came ont, locked the door and
started off, and in half an hour he came
back with a dozen varieties of buttons,
running from pearl to an overcoat but
ton. He also had three papers of nee
! dies and five spools of thread, and to
these he had added two dozen safety
pins.
"Won't you eat supper and LET me sew
/ on that button, Mr.. BowserT l asked as
/ he returned.
"Neverl It's too latel 1 may get
through in time for breakfast, but you
can clean off the supper table. have
! been losing buttons for the last five
years, and now / propose to sew them
all on"
When he had locked the door again
he got out every coat and vest and pair
) of pants from the closet and sat down to
, his buttons. | am telling you the sol
, emn truth when say that looked
through the key-hole and saw him de-
, liberately cut every button off of two
YES S and a pair of pants, and he took
!, one of his new shirts and coolly ripped
! it clean down the back to the bottom
! hem. And l will further make a solemn
affidavit that the button he lost when he
ton he had ever complained of.
When he had cut the buttons off, as
described, he lighted the gas and got out
his needles and thread. Mr.. Bowser is {
near-sighted man, and our gas fixtures
are hung pretty high. Between the two
G he got into trouble. 1t didn't seem Il
make any difference to him which end OF
l the needle he threaded. Instead of iab
i | ~. Al AZ ut hn Ia 40 oil
!. the needle at the thread. After about
1 twenty jabs he'd get discouraged and Sc
4 lect another needle, or break the thread
off at a new spot. He finally got tn,
' thread into the eye, doubled it up and
| tied great knot Mt the end, and after
n twenty minutes of hard work he got the
e missing button back ON his pantaloons
n In his nervousness he put on bras
e blouse button with shank, and he useC
/ lust three yards of doubled thread 10
r make it secure.
1 1t was 10 o'clock before he came dowi
It stairs He had given up the job with the
n one button.
r "Weu, have you got through?''
h asked.
= SCOT through! Do you expect l cal
sew on 2s4 buttons in two hours"
y ''Well, I'll see to the rest in the morn
e ing"
d mo, you won't! Don't you dare tc
n touch any of my clothing! The worn
:. has finally turned, and he proposes 4
v take care of himself after thisl'
/. Next morning he put ON one of tn
e vests he had stripped of buttons ant
@ fastened it with five safety pins. He pu
d ON coat from which he had cut two but
!. sons, and those were also replaced by tn
O pins. He came down and paraded aroun'
j. to attract my notice, and l finally said
g 'Mr Bowser, | want to beg your for
n giveness / knew there were over 20
n buttons off your clothes, but / was shift
f less and slack This will be great mora
lesson to me, and promise you
Didn't l tell you the worm ha
turned2" he interrupted as he waved hi
hand in an imperious way. 81 have go
y TO 90 down town in this fashion. Peopl
y will remark it and of course they vii
:. understand how it is"
~ Ua xUas none abOut twenty minutes