Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1887-07-15
CRAZED BY A LAWYER.


ness Reason Totter on Its Throne.
What ruined me and got me into
lunatic asylum was this: used to have
strong contempt for lawyers.
thought their long cross-examinations
were brainless dialogues for no purpose.
LAWYER johnson had me as a witness in
a wood case. In my direct testimony l
had sworn truthfully that John Hall
had cut ten cords of wood in three days.
Then johnson sharpened his pencil and
commenced examining me.
"Now, Mr. Perkins," he began. how
much wood do you say was cut by Mr..
HaIlP"
'Just ten cords, SIR" I answered.
boldly. 81 measured it.
That's your impressionP"
Eyes, SIR"
"Well, we don't wapt impressions,
sir. What we wants is facts before this
| jury-f-a-c-t-s, sir, facts!"
THE witness will please state facts
hereafter" said the judge, while the
crimson came to my face.
Now, sir" continued johnson,
pointing his finger at me, twill yoa
swear it was more than nine cords?"
Eyes, sir. 1t was ten cords-just-"
There! never mind" interrupted
johnson. "Now, how much less than
twelve cords were therep"
1.-Two cords, sir"
How do you know there were just
two cords less, sir? Did you measure
those two cords, sirp" asked johnson,
savagely.
mo, sir, /"
There that will do! You did not
measure it, just as I expected. All
guess-work. Now. didn't you swear
moment ago that you measured this
woodp"
stop, sir! The jury will notice this
discrepancy"
.'Now, SIR" continued johnson,
slowly as he pointed his finger almost
down my throat. ''Now, sir, on your
oath, will you swear that there were
not ten cords and halfp"
Eyes, SIR" answered, meekly.
'.Well, now, Mr.. Perkins, demand
= a straight answer-a truthful answer,
:. sir"
u "T-t-ten c-c-ords," answered,
!. hesitatingly.
"You swear it?"
"I-I-d-d-.dO."
l. "Now," continued Johnson, as he
J smiled satirically, "do you know the
Il penalty of perjury, SIR"
10 Eyes, sir, I think"
.,O,, ro,,,. ~, ~, IN uour co1aunn ri,
- with no evasion, are you willing to per
70 jure yourself by solemnly swearing tina
:. there was more than nine cords o
~ woodp'
'r Eyes, sir. /"
& "Aha! Yes, sir. You are willing t.
d periure yourself, thenp just as
y thought Cunning to the judged yo'
: see, your Honor, that this witness i
z prevaricating. He is not willing t.
= swear that there were more than nin'
te cords of wood 1t is infamous, gentle
I'd men of the jury, such testimony as this
lie The jury nodded assent and smiled sal
re castically atme.
q, Now" said johnson, II will as
to this perjured witness just one NOR
OF question. will ask you. sir-do 20
IT, know-do you realize, sir, what a
re awful-a-w-f-u-l thing it is to tell
ms lieP"
as Eyes, sir. said, my voice trembling
nd "And knowing this, you swear O
81 your solemn oath that there were abo,
nine cords of wood?"
mo, sir, Idon't do any thing Of
Hold on. sir! How do you kno
irs there were just nine cordsp"
II don't know any such thing, 81
M l."
di- "Aha! YOU don't know, them Ju
gh as l expected. And you swore you d
as know Swore you measured 1t. Inf
he nous! Gentlemen of the jury, VIII
res shall we do with this perjurerP'
lily "But i"
tu- Mot a word, sir--hush! This ju
us shall not be insulted by perjurer.
md Call the next witnessr'
'ur This is why am keeping books in
by lunatic asylum.-Bufdto Express.