Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-05-04
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY MRS. BOWsER.

BY MRS. BOWsER.
I was telling you awhile ago of Mr.. Bow
ser's Impotence and annoyance when he
happened to find me in bed for couple of
hours with sick headache, and how he went
to pieces himself the moment anything
allied him. About month ago woke up
one morning with the toothache. 1t had
bsen annoying me for an hour before MIR.
Bowser caught on. Then he said
"Toothache, eh /! swell, 1 don't pity
you bit. This comes of cracking walnuts
in your teeth and chewing so much of the
everlasting gum.'
81 never cracked walnut, and don't
chew gum once year."
"Well, it's some carelessness of yours,
rest assured of that, and you must suffer
for it,
He went off whistling and singing and I
went to bed to suffer.
That tooth ached for three days and
three nights in spite of all remedies. Dur
ing the day MIR. Bowser would remark:
Caches yet, does it? l believe you are
pretending great deal, so as to get my
sympathy. If you'd get up and 60 around
and throw off the idea that your tooth
ached the pain would all 60 away. Four
fifths of human aches come from imagina-
tion.''
"But it does ache so bad I"
"That is, you imagine it does. I could
go to bed and imagine my leg was of, and
I have no doubt that should suffer awful
pains. Well, I can't do anything for you.
If you will let your imagination run away
with your sense I can't help it.
The ache hung on SO long that l finally
went to the dentist and had the tooth
pulled. This was unbeknown to Mr.. Bow
ser, and when he came home that evening
and found me singing to the baby he
laughed long and loud and added
''Didn't I tell you SO ! No doubt you had
a little bit of toothache to start with-just
a little bit-and imagination did the rest
If I had gone to work and called you my
poor dear, stricken, suffering darling you'd
have had every tooth jumping out of your
head. It's mighty lucky for you that you
married man with something besides saw
dust under his scalp"
My revenge came sooner than could have
been anticipated. 1t wasn't two weeks be-
fore Mr.. Bowser aweke me one night at
midnight by exclaiming:
''Mrs. Bowser, are you dead, or have you
become stone-deaf?"
''What is it, dear, burglars or fire?"
"Burglars or fire be hanged I've been
suffering with the toothache for the last
three hours, and you've lain there and
snored away as if you didn't care a cent
whether I lived or died ~
"But what can do? This is the result
of some carelessness of yours. Have you
cracked any walnuts in your teeth lately?''
He sat up in bed and held his jaw and
glared at me so fiercely that l was quite
alarmed and went for the medicine case.
gave him some peppermint essence on cot
ton; then some oil of cloves on rag; then
some camphor on the end of tooth-pick.
1t was no use.
81 don't believe shall live to see day
light % he meaned as he fell out of bed and
began to dress.
ooh, yes, you will. Are you sure your
tooth aches?'
He looked around after his revolver, but
I had slipped it under the bureau.
81 had it, you know, or thought I had,
but I guess it was all Imagination. Mr..
Bowser, just imagine you haven't a tooth
in your head"
''And you just imagine that you are an
old buzzard waiting to pick my bones % he
roared as he danced around.
We tied bag of hot ashes on his face,
and we put on mustard, pain-k and al
uUSt CFOl SlSo III VIC uOuSG, anu none
Of Us slept another wink. When morning
came the ache was no better, and I coldly
observed:
sWell, of course you don't want TO keep
the house upset any longer. You'd better
go down and have it pulled
s'W-what ~
"Just run down and have the dentist
draw it out. 1t will hurt awfully. of course,
but you are a man and can stand it ~
'1'll die first ~
''Oh, well, if you will permit your imagi-
nation to make you believe that you have
toethache, don't blame me-"
| felt awfully sorry for him, for he suf-
fered dreadfully for the next two days.
Then he suddenly decided to have the tooth
pulled, and asked me in tone he tried to
make careless
"hlrs. Bowser, don't you want to 90
down to the dentists with me?'
"Why, does your tooth still ache?"
''Still ache Great SCOTS, but it has
never let up for an instant 70
81 am sorry you were so careless. Men
never know how to take care of their
health, Can't be Imagination, can it?''
He gave me a look of boiler-plated re-
proach, clapped on his hat and was off
without another word. He returned in a
couple of hours, and knew from his gen.
eral demeanor he had been to the dentist,
and that the aching molar had come home
in his pocket.
"Well, are you better?" queried.
'Better of WHAT"
"Why, the toothache, of course.''
"Humph Who's said anything about
my having the toothache? Mrs Bowser, I
don't wa to believe that you drink, but
your conduct for the last two or three
weeks has been strange-very strange pr
Detroit Free Press.