The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-30
BRIGHT BITS.

THE malady from which youths who wear q
single eyeglass suffer is, i'll many cases, optical
delusion.-Life.
Why is a fashionable modiste's collection like
soldier? Because he often goes upon dress
payrade. "-Erchonge.
WAITREss-Glass of beer, sir?
Diner-Not till / have finished this steak
First labor, then pleasUre.-PariS RdppeI
THE new custom of wearing gloves to dinner
IS probably more convenient than the old GUS
tom of washing the hands Philadelphia North
american.
CONSIDERING how small tooth is it is aston
lShlng how much ache it can hold. No wonder
the man wrote a book and called it Ten Acres
Enough. "--SonlerUille Journal.
WHEN we realize with what celebrity a goat
can separate a man from his surroundings it is
difficult to understand why butt should be called
con- Junction OIakerS Gazette.
A MAN who never looks but at one side of the
street may be very interesting from picturesque
point of view, but he is a comparative failure as
street car driver.-LOndon (Ont.) Advertiser.
John, wish you'd get me a rawhide or a
single. want to spank Willie" quoth st.
Louis matron.
why not use my slipper, Nary"
20, only want to spank him; don't want to
crush him. Life.
SHOULD the British yacht lead the Yankee May
And do it in less than trice;
Why, then every Englishman surely will say:
"Oh, this II be-'Thistle' be nice.n
Washington Critic.
A SOLDIER once fought in KY
In a maner exceedingly ply;
Though rank as q Col,
He wrote in his joL,
IF live through this war, am ly.''
Life.
Jaw, Ethel remarked Charlie to his pretty
cousin, 81 believe--aw-I'll have the barbah-
aw--trim my whiskers this morning-aw.'
DO, Charley said his pretty cousin.
"And-ah-Ethel, how would you suggest
that have them uimmed?"
well, y replied the pretty cousin, after suffi-
cient consideration, Il think they would look
very sweet trimmed with pink ribbon. ''-Hdr-
Der'S Bazaar.
A WOMAN called at the police station the other
day to report that her husband was missing,
and she feared the very worst. Don't think
he's dead, do you?" asked the officer
Eyes, do"
Because, he left home without cutting any
of the children or threatening to break my neck
if didn't hand out soc. ] tell you, he was I'M
der some strange influence. "-DetrOtt Free
Press
''NIcE EVENING" said a jolly militiaman to the
policeman at the corner of Eleventh and D
streets last night.
Yes was the reply; 81 am just admiring the
stars"
What particular planet are you stuck on?''
Uranus"
I'm not. Iputs me in mind of the night be-
fore last Inauguration day when Uranus all in. -
Polceman's club descendS with dull thud-
Washington Critic.
He had just entered the editorial sanctum way
down from Pokumvile. He wanted to be polite
and complimentary, but the great editorial pres
ence embarrassed him. He timidly sidled up to
the editor, and tried to speak the little piece he
had composed: Mister Editor, Ill am a
constant value of your readable paper"
"Eh?''
''Sister Medittor anil am readable con.
slant of your valued paper.
''Eh?"
II am papered valuable of your readable
constant"
''Eh?''
II am valuable reader of your constant
paper, begoshn'
"There must be some mistake, Mr. Smith
somewhere. You are three years behind in youI
subscription. Nothing very valuable to our con
slant paper in that It'd Bits.