New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1887-06-22
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY MRS. BOWsER.

I was telling you awhile ago of Mr..
BoWser's Impotence and annoyance
when he happened to find me in bed for
a couple of hours with sick headache,
and how he went to pieces himself the
moment any thing allied him. About q
month ago / woke up one morning
with the toothache. Tt had been an
noying me for an hour before Mr.. Bow
ser caught on. Then he said:
s.Toothache, eh? Well, I don't pity
you bit. This comes Of cracking wal
nuts in your teeth and chewing SO much
Of that everlasting gum. =
II never cracked walnut, and I
don't chew gum nee a year.
swell, it's some carelessness of yours,
rest assured of that and you must suffer
for it. =
He went off whistling and singing
and went to bed to suffer.
That tooth ached for three days and
During the day MI. Bowser would re-
mark:
Caches yet, does it? I believe you
are pretending great deal, so as to get
my sympathy. If you'd get up and
90 around and throw off the idea that
your tooth ached the pain would all go
away. Four-ffths of human aches
come from Imagination
'.But it does ache so bad!'
.'That is, you imagine it does. I
could go to bed and imagine my leg was
off, and have no doubt that I should
suffer awful pains. Well, 1 can't do
anything for you. If you will let your
imagination run away with your sense
I can't help it."
The ache hung on so long that I fin
ally went to the dentist and had the
tooth pulled. This was unbeknown to
Mr.. Bowser, and when he came home
that evening and found me singing to
the baby he laughed long and loud and
added:
Didn't I tell you so! No doubt you
had a little bit of toothache to start
with-just a little bit-and imagination
did the rest. If had gone to work
and called you my poor, dear, stricken,
suffering darling you'd have had every
tooth jumping out of your head. It's
mighty lucky for you that you married
man with something besides sawdust
under his SCALP
My revenge came sooner than could
have been anticipated. 1t wasn't two
weeks before Mr.. Bowser awoke me
one night at midnight by exclaiming:
''Mrs. Bowser, are you dead, or have
you become stone-deafp'' #
"What is 1t, dear, burglars or fre?''
Burglars or fire be hanged! I've
been suffering with the toothache for
the last three hours, and you've laid
there and snored away as if you didn' t
care cent whether lived or diedr'
i ''But what can I do? This is the
result of some carelessness of yours.
Have you cracked any walnuts in your
teeth lately?''
He sat up in bed aud. held his jaw
and glared at me so fiercely that I was
quite alarmed and went for the med
icine case. | gave him some pepper
mint essence on cotton; then some oil
of cloves on rag; then some camp hol
on the end of tooth-pick. 1t was nc
use.
II don't believe I shall live to see
daylight!' he moaned as he fell out OF
bed and began to dress.
''Oh, yes, you will. Are you sure
, your COOtn aCneS!
He looked around after his revolver,
but had slipped it under the bureau.
II had it, You know, or thought l
had, but [ guess it was all Imagination.
Mr. Bowser, just imagine you hayn''
a tooth in your head, =
s1And you must imagine that you arc
an old buzzard waiting to pick my
bones!' he reared as he dancee
!, around.
, We tied a bag of hot ashes to his
face, and we put on mustard, pain
killer and almost everything else in the
house, and none of US slept an othe,
wink When morning came the ache
was was no better, and 1 cody OBJ
: served:
+'Well, of course you don't want t,
keep the house upset any longer. You'c
better go down and have pulled
-.W-what!''
! 4.Just run down and have the dentis1
draw it out It will hurt awfully, o
course, but you are a man and cal
stand it!''
4-Ill die frst!r''
, 4'Oh, well, if you permit your imagi
nation to make you believe that yo
haMe toothache don't blame me-
] Ifelt awfuiiy sorrv for him, for b.
suffered dreadfully for the next two
] days. Then he suddenly decided t.
: have the tooth pulled. and asked me il
: tone he tried to make careless:
q t"Mrs. Bowser. don't you want to q
down to the dentist with me?''
Nv by, does your tooth still ache?''
5 Still ache! Great Scots but it ha
never let up for Ala instant!''
Il am sorry YOU. were SO careless
Men never know how to take care O
their health. Can't be Imagination
can it,
7 He gave me look of boiler-platee
reproach, clapped on his hat and wa
It OH WITHOUT another word. He retufne'