The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-04
BRIGHT BITS.

SO LONG as there arc fat In the world. sharps
VII never have much difficulty in making a
living Huntington Free Press.
HE-where are you going. my pretty maid:
She-l'm going a-Inilking sir she said.
He-Can not help you, my pretty maid:
she on can work the pump handle, sir (she
said.
THERE was an old fellow from Ne,
" no was known 10 the people as Be;
To be Presd't
He was very init,
But his wish was ioJke,i on as inse.
for some time. Then she said Mother, you
amt girl, are your NO, Fanny What
are yoU!' Il ann woman. "You. were a
girl once, weren't YOU Yes. Fanny" Well,
where is that girl o1ss'-TeTas Sifttngs.
FIRST BRoKER-It's pretty bad for me-that
last break In Ontario. I'm blue as jay.
Second broker-Cheer up, old fellow. Here
try one of my cigars.
First broker-Oh, it isn't as bad as that.
wasn't contemplating sucide.-The Judge.
''OF the ripe age of 49, is what an esteemed
Springfield paper SAYS Of a beautiful and ac-
complished maiden now visiting at the capital
This ought 10 be pleasant reading for the unfor-
tunate females who have entered upon the sere
and senile years OF 10 and % Chicago NeUs.
"GoxTRAN'' to his doctor-You attended my
uncle; he died and inherited his fortune. l owe
you great deal indeed
Doctor thinking he saw a chance to increase
his billl-And your wife?
''Oh, had forgotten. You cured her-so
we're quits. Paris ChdriUdri.
KANSAS CITIZEN (profanely)-Why. in the name
of all the high-priced corner lots of this great
city isn't dinner ready
Wife-Don't get impatient, dear. Bridget will
be back presently.
Kansas citizen-TIas she gone out?
Wife-Yes, she has gone out to vote.-LOuis-
Utue COurjeT-JOurndL
WHAT do you suppose" asked Nollepros,
was the reason for the prohibition in the Mo-
sale law, thou shalt not seethe a kid in his
mothers milk'y''
80 said the Judge, 1T was humane pro
vision; it was made so we might not compel a
physician TO take his own prescription or put a
lawyer on the witness stand Nollepros said it
was quite clear to him now.Burdette
cAfE upon her unaware
AS at her fathers gate she Stood
She looked SO sweet, she looked so fair,
Her rosy mouth looked, oh, SO good.
She gave a little scream of fright
And pinched my arm, the Saucy miss;
Then, seeing there were none in sight,
clasped her close and stole kiss.
One, only one. did not care
To kiss her rosy lips again.
wrung my hands, tore my hair,
ground my teeth in awful pain;
Her lips were soft, but Oh, beneath
(The words | said, they were a sim,
She held between her pearly teeth
4 little demon of pin!
Cincinnati Times-Stdr.
A CLEVER EXAMPLE of repartee occurred in a
Walnut street boarding house the other evening.
Among the boarders are two ladies aged re-
spectiyely about y and S2 years. There is also
a gentleman upon whom the matrimonial eyes
of the female twain are set. Twenty-Five is the
favorite and Thirty-two never let's an oppor-
tunity for dig" pass unimproved. On the
occasion spoken of Twenty-Five made some
witty remark that caused ripple of laughter
around the dinner table
II don't think that was worthy q laugh said
Thirty-two. Its as old as the hills, isn't it,
Mr.. ---:'' to the gentleman referred TO. Yes,
/ believe it Is, Miss Thirty-two,' was the re-
sponse; "but you must remember that Miss
Twenty-two's experience does not extend so far
back as ours" Again all the table smiled
except Tbilty-two. Philadelphia call.