The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-01-14
An Old Phrase Illustrated.
Burdette.

A RECKLESS WASTE OF RAW MATERIAL.
A Maryland paper chronicles the sad fate
of Mr. Bunting, who was run over by g
train and had "two of his legs cut off" II
Mr.. Bunting isn't more economical with his
legs first thing he knows he'll have to &c
lame.
OVERHEARD IN A LUNATIC ASYLUM
1t is true, my son, there is always room al
the top, but nobody wants it when he goes tc
a hotel And the great trouble with the
strawberry box is that there is so little room
at'the bottom. The best sculler often stands
at the foot of the class.-Never buy a Their
monIeteF because it is low.--The Romans
call a day dies, just to kill time, prob
ably-The hens in the harnyard and
bellies in the ballroom have thei1
own set.-The woman whose head is
turned by fattery would feel much
hatter if she heard what is said when her back
is tuFned.-Womend do not swear, but the
profanest man in America would give IS II
he could initiate the expression of a good
woman when she hits her thumb with ham
mer and says, "Mercy on meI"-A man
dreamed that his mother-in-law was dead and
laughed aloud in his sleep. The next morn
ing she came to his house with three trunks,
a vapor bath, foot muff and two pugs.
Now he does not dare to go to sleep, and if he
should fall into doze from exhaustion he
shrieks with fright and awakeJ. He is afraid
he will have another dream.-It pleases DR..
Mary Walker if you say that you mister while
she was away.
MANAGEMENT OF SERVANTS.
1t doesn't lie in some people to get along
with servants. They have no tact, no knack
Of managing. There is great deal in man
aging a servant in such way that the minion
isn't aware of it. But some people don't
know how to do this and consequently a
servant that is jewel in my well regulated
household is utterly useless in my neighbours
service Now, not long ago 1 had occasion
to part with colored man. / didn't want
to cast him out upon the cold world, because
l feared that if the world got too cold he
would come back to me. So unloaded him
upon a neighbor. 1 never had ripple of
trouble with him. l had employed him
ostensibly to groom a horse occasionally
and NOW the lawn once or twice
year. soon learned that he was running an
African dormitory and a.poker layout in my
stable, and the general appearance of my
premises finally brought me letters from the
American Missionary union, asking permits
sion to establish one of their Congo out sta
lions between my barn anu the kitchen. This,
as much as anything else, induced me to part
with Albert. He shipped with me under the
nom de plume of Albert Wilson, but no
ticed that some of the natives called him
Lame Jake" and he requested me, in writing
his letter of recommendation, to call him
Thompson Easley. By and by my neighbor
said to me: THAT man, Sam Norton, you
sent to me-did you ever have any trouble
with HING" / said no, never. 'FWell, (" said
my neighbor, II can't get along with him.
He won't do one thing ask him. not thing"
"Oh, we'll" 1 said, "he tried that on me, too,
when he first came, but l settled that in
short order" How did you manageg"
asked my neighbor. "WeI," told him, II
quit telling him to do anything" And do
you know my neighbor was real angry with
me, and abused me, and said was fool and
deceived him.. Y ou see, he had no tact That
very night Albert landed on my coast again.
He confided to that his real name was
James Sinclair and he brought with him his
brother, whom he introduced as Walter
Taylor They took up their old quarters in
the barn and boarded with me for a week
before was able to secure them places in the
county work house. They both left me with
sincere regret, and Albert said, in parting,
that any time wanted him to come back, b
letter addressed to Charles Martin would
reach him. Albert was a saddle colored
pagan, but he was the richest man In names
ever worked for.-Robert j. Burdette.