Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-05
LIFE AS A DETECTIVE.
THE 9.TTEY-DAY SIDE OF THE
OCCUPATION.


less Nould-hs Hetectives.
from The he;0 York Commercial Adesrtiser.
"There Is one thing never could under
stand" said one Of the Oldest of the Cen
trail Office detectives the other afternoon,
"and that is why there should be such
fascination to most persons about tue lie
of detective. l think about half the
youth OF America must hold it their
dearest ambition to 0e detectives some
day. | suppose the great number of
trashy books thrown on the public every
week which portray the life OF detective
as all excitement and glory is responsible
for most of it--books like the lurid stuff
published over the name OF Allan Pinker
ton, and which Allan Pinkerton had ABOUT
as much to do with as you or had.
1.-The truth is that there is precious lit
tie that's exciting, and still less OF glory
In detectives life. We're not forever
going about in DISCUSSES and tracking
down express robbers aud desperate MUIR
derers ut the risk of our lives. | can tell
you. There isn't one detective in 10000
mat ever has any experience remotely re-
semblng the wild tales that are contin-
ually being told about us. If Fifth ave
nue. millionaires should be continually
described as habituallv saving cords OF
wood every morning before breakfast the
public would think it very strange,
wouldn't it? But that wouldn't be half
as unnatural as constantly describing de-
tectives as unearthing sIrange and mys-
FERROUS crimes by means of clews of a
curl of hair or broken toOthpick. The
average detective Is really not much
more than Waterman. He differs from
an ordinary patrolman principally in that
he wears no uniform, has no regular
beat, aid is supposed to- have greater
ability and discrimination. The larger
part of his work is not a bit more inter-
esting or exciting than that OF the
average patrolman. He may recognize
some old offender on the street and run
etm in, watch some important building,
hunt up somebody's stolen watch in a
pawnshop, stay up all night in the rain
or snow % 6eep an eye on Doodle Alder
mans back door, or go out to Chicago
and bring back some criminal who is
wanted here. Ii he is good-loOking and
has a polished address ne may be as
signed to some big ball or party to see
that the guests don't run off with the
spoons, bat zen chances to one if he's on
the force twentyyears he'll never do any
thing more exciting.
SIN order to get the precious privilege
of leading this hum-drum and uncum-
Portable kind of life, most of us have
SCINGu dlNt DB ia buG RANKS
oil the police and demonstrated the pos
session OF sense and judgment in some
emergency such as may never happen to
more than one man in ten thousand"
THE WOULD.BE DETECTIVES.
"Are there many applications for places
on the detective torce?" asked a curious
reporter who had listened to these en-
phatIc remarks.
MANY applicants? ! should say there
were. In spite Of all the hardships a de-
tective has to go through, the meagerness
of mis- pay and his very doubtful standing
in the community, there is scarcely day
passes on which 1 don't hear of some
fellow who thinks he is born Hawk
shaw, and is working all the pulls he
can find to get chance to display his
detective abilities. 1t is a chronic nuis-
ance.
"What kind of persons are theyw
"All Kinds, ages and conditions. and
both sexes. Some are crazy, no doubt.
The kind of insanity that runs to invent
ing car couplers and Impracticablew wash
ing machines in some men develops INTO
Wild schemes for tracking criminals i'll
others. Not long ago Inspector Byrnes
got letter from man ia Spring Lake,
n. j.. asking Tor place on the staff. He
SAID the barn of one of the farmers there
had recently been burned, and that he
brother-in-law, after everybody else had
given the case up as hopeless mystery.
"He detailed at length the elaborate
schemes by which he had uncovered the
crime, and he thought that such ingenui-
ty in a larger field like New York would
make MIN an invaluable man. Salary
was no object to MIN, he was good enough
to add, because he had a little property.
Besides, he was sure that if he had only
had chance to work up some big MUIR
der or robbery, such as ne thought occur
red in New York every day, he could very
easily demonstrate how much he was
worth. No doubt he could, but | wouldn't
like TO try to live on the result. He was
crazy, like hundreds of others who write
similar letters every week.
"But the worst thing about it all is the
way the mania Affects the boys and the
young men. ! am continually besieged
by some one OF them TO use my influence
TO get hun place on the force. They
have been reading the cheap and trashy
libraries until they think they have mas
tered the whole science OF detecting
crime, and they wonder that any Obsta-
cles should be thrown in the way OF
man VINO knows how odd Sleuth' or
capt. Collier would go to work TO I'M
ravel any mystery. They have imbibed
the very atmosphere OF crime SO thor
oughly from the rubbish they have read
that when they find they can't hunt GRIM
inals it not intrequently happens that
they become the hunted, aud DRIFT insen-
sibly into the ranks of criminals them
selves.
PRACTICAL CURE.
"NOt long ago the respectable aud hard
WORKING father Of "a graceless scamp OF
boy up IN my ward came to me toimplore
me o get his son place on the force. He
said the BOY did nothing but read detec-
tive stories all day ana dream OF being a
detective all night. He would not work
nor go TO school, aud was very likely 10
become utterly worthless unless his am
bition were gratited. The father is an old
friend OF NINE and | thought / would do
what | could for the boy. so, to his I'M
speakable delight, | took HIM out one
Eight 10 give him a practical lesson in de-
tvctive work, l was watching on some
Ncfth river piers then for water
thieves who came across from New
Jc.sey at night with stolen vegetables
and fruit. After | had given as good
specimen a. | could of the reprlmands we
get sometimes for letting somebody's
stolen watch 90 unfound, ana OF the crlti-
cisma we get from the newspapers, we
went down to the pier. 1t was a cold,
clustering Mig ut, with heavy rain We