The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-09-07
HUMOR.


Too FOND of their cups-Yachtsmen.
A MANTEL sHELF--A girls shoulders.
Our OF sEAsoN-An empty pepper
box.
1T is wise stock that knows it's own
par.
MIcHELET writes: woman is the
Sunday of man." that is to say the
other days are the weak ones.
ENGLAND may be mistress Of the
C's," but she has never been able to
fairly master the H's.-Boston Ga
zette.
A FRENCH philosopher says: "The
surest way to please is to forget ones
self" This is also the surest method
of making an ass of ones self.-1eras
Siftings.
The American Missionary Society
sent 5000 pairs of trousers to Burmah
last year. This is charity that cover
eth multitude of shins. -SOmerUille
Mass Journal.
"CoME out of that, you brigand, you
rascal, you assassin !" screamed his gen.
tie companion. "No, madame" he re-
piled calmly, II won't come out. / am
going to show you that 1 shall do as L
please in my own house,"
FoGu-What do you think of Dole?
Bogg-I think he is one of the biggest
liars / ever knew. Fogg-Of course;
he said 1 was fool the other day.
Bogg-Indeed! Well, L may have
misjudged him. lid Bits.
PHOTOGRAPH collector -"By the
way, I've been making collection of
monstrosities lately" Friend I'm
deed?" Z. C.-"Yes. And that re-
minds me: will you kindly let me have
one of your photographs?'
81 HEAR" said Molecule, "that Trio
bite has lost his mind" "Must have
been one that he borrowed them" said
Atom, "he never had one of his own"
"Ah!" said Molecule, Il had forgotten
he was married. "-Bltrdette.
Il HEARD a capital story lost night"
observed an editorial writer of one of
our esteemed contemporaries to his
chief All right" replied the latter;
put stutter marks in it and credit it to
the late Mr.. Travers. Pitts burg
Chronicle.
BosToN girl-"Tell me, my friend,
do you admire Hawthorne?" New
York girl-"Oh, my, yes! 1 think it
is great. When we were at Saratoga.
1 used to drink two big glasses of it
every morning before breakfast. -
Lol0eH Citiztn.
EvA-"I suppose these extremely
nice-looking young men are the stu
thing?" Maud-"No doubt. Do you
know, Eva should very much like to
be hospital nurse" Eva--"How
strange! Why, the very same idea has
just occurred TO me.
AMATEUR actor (to PROFESSIONAL
Have you ever been injured in any
railroad accident while travelling about
the country, Mr.. Ham? Professional
Il had leg broken once, on my way
from Chicago to New York. Amateur
How did it happen? Professional
Trying to get out of the way of train.
-NeW York Sun.
INSPECTOR examining class
"What is a prophet?" No answer be-
ing given, he called upon the head
scholar and put the question in this
form: eff l were to foretell that you
would be sitting in this school two
months hence, what would be?" Boy
"A leer, sir; for we're gaun to fit
next week, and am no. coming to this
skule after that"
GOVERNMENT clerk (to bosom friend
Just got myself into horrible mess
l went yesterday to see two doctors
and obtained from each a medical GER
tifcate-one a certificate of health for
the life insurance company, and the
other certificate of illness to inclose
in my petition for leave of absence.
And there, if 1 didn't GO and put them
into the wrong envelopes