Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-01-14
BRIGHT BITS.

A POET asks: "What is it makes the noon
day ar SO slrunG?" We'll, perhaps the wife
has been boiling a cabbage or something like
that lOnkeIs Statesman.
GEORGE r. VENDING asks: "Does death
end aliE" Well, we guess not: first comes the
wlll, then the heirs, then the lawyers, and
thcn7-nothing.-Net0 HaCeU Ae1os.
DAUGHTER of the House-Oh! l don't
kno" half Of the people mere. i You want TO
know any one find on. her name and point
her OUT 10 me, and I'il introduce you.
Guest-hIay not introduce you to some of
them2-HdrOeT'S Bdsar.
YOUNG DEADBROKE Ito his landady's pretty
daughter)-l wonder why your mother
always gives me so many eggs for break asst.
She-I don't know; but mother always
puts eggs IN coffee TO make 1t settle, snd--
Deadbroke-Say no more. l Will pay up
to- mOrrow.-Tbe Rambler.
''WRY, Joe. that's an awful cold you've got.
I'll tel you what TO do. TAKE lemon
'B You vatue my friendship, don't you"
." by, of course l do"
- hen forbear. Leave me alone with my
cold. I've had so remedies suggested to me
and I've no got block from home yeJ"'-
PhdGdeiDhiG CAL.
1T HASN'T developed much see, Orthur."
Wh tf'
''Youah moustacne,"
mo, but am much encouraged when l OBJ
serve the slownes of growth in one of your
pahsonal accessories
What's that?'
"Your n."-TId- Bits.
HERE'S 10 cents for you, waiter" said
gentleman who had just finished his dinner.
mo, thank you, SIR; 1t Is against my prln-
cipes 10 take tips"
Here l. Il quarter, then"
Nv eli, SIR, If you are bound to break down
my principles | suppose shall have to give
ND axes I1d0eterS' Ddgdetne.
A DorING LODI AUNT had her little niece
81 a OPIQhhOris and dpgirintr to SbONV
them how smart the little 2-vear- old was
sSed her "wh" / they had over at her mann
mas" expecting she would to II them of their
new acquisition, pretty white kitten.
The uttle innocent spoke up promptly:
milwaukee, lager BEER Detroit Free p, eSs.
JOHNNY, did you get anything in your
stocking?"
Yer right did, MUSTER"
That's good. What was it?"
"Well, fust l stuck nv hand in to see if
there was anytnin there, an when l found
there wasn't took my hand out an put my
loot in, an it's there YETI PJnkerS Glsette.
TENANT twho has called with reference to
his renN-You occupied the house yourself
before l moved in, and of course know its
condition.
Landlord-Yes. sir, and can't take of
cent.
Tenant tbrightening up)-All right, that's
what | wanted TO kuoH. found 81 900 gov
trnment bond in one of the closets and am
gong down 10 deposit it. Good morning.
i'd Bits.
NOW, Mr.. NILSSON, you must sing for u.s."
said Mss Feathertop, land | am sure you Will
sing some GIng TO oblige US"
"Of course l will-aIways willing to oblige
just ask the company TO pass out quietly,
please"
Pas, out quietly! What do you mean by
thar"
at is better so, Miss Feathertop, as it pre-
vents them from stampediEg and breaking
the furniture when begin to sing. "-Drdke'S
TraUelers' Aagas ne.
'AH. good morning. Mr.. Legitimate. l am
delighted TO meet you. | haven't seen you
since the De JOhgns' reception "
"Glves me pleasure, | assure you. Miss Puff
box. II was n delightful OCCASION"
Yes, indeed; but did you know GU dropped
quite a cutting thing that evening""
~ on, er-you fatter me-"
''Not ~ all. 1t was your penknife, Here it
is. am pleased to return it,"
And then Legitimate searched for some one
who would KICK him around the block at a
merely nominal rate.-Hdrtfotd Past,
THE NICE new dairy butter direct from the
creamery which the landiady had told them
it, Then he peered under the plate and all
about 1t for a moment or two.
Come, Mr. Chumpley," said the landlady
sharply, no libel on the butter"
You mean LABEL said Cbumpley; '.the
revenue officers are getting mighty particu-
lar
"Mr. Chumpley," said the lapdlady very
severely, Twill YOU parse the butter thIs way?'
Il should prefer" answered Cnumpley, in
his meekest tones, ITO decline it IN my own
way."-Ctece'Hnd Sga.