The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1887-03-03
Advice About Marriage.

Rrudder Am;bad Cantilever. it TN re-
ported dat you am about to take unto
yerself wife. Dat de report am trae
your recent acisshuns am proof. You
has been seen pricin' secondhand
stoves, squintia' at fo' dollar bedroom
sweets, an rustlin' around arter b-ic-a-
brac. Marriage am muffin you need be
ashamed OF, an l reckon you kin de-
pend on dis club to warm up de house
fer YOU an leave behind some hard
botto.ned cheers an few articles OF
tinware.
Brudder Cantileycr, marriage am
lottery OF dead-sure thinc-just as yoa
make il. Ii ycu get struck on sight
fall in luv wid gal fur her small feet,
taperin' waist. Ginlpled chin, or war5-
lin mouf, an marry her oii-hand at
about twelve weeks notis, you needn't
be astonishcI il der am dynamite
'sploShun aforc you hav bin hitched =
week. Small feet an g good temper
doan' alias 80 together. Slim waists
an' kitchen economy may not work in
DC Same harness. De gal who charms
vou by &c way she drums de p;anner
NAV iiatly refuse, as wife, to run dem
same fingers obcr L washbo'd. Firstly,
doan' cit married until you know what
you are bein' jined TO. Study dc gal.
Let de feet 20 an' watch her temper.
Lot dc bangs 90 an watch her economy.
Nebber vcu mind about the way she
dimrles her chin. but TX ycrseif II she IL
make de bed wild de foot lower den de
head. You has got to do all the study
in. Not ono gal cut of thousand eber
stops to size up luver. IL his Greciau
nose or curly ha's or droopin' mustache
strikes her fancy she'll ncbber stop to
study his natur' nor TO worry ODER his
habits. She IS marryin' dat nose, or
head, or mIrstache. A month AFTER
marriage. when lie Eauls her aroup' by
de haic an slaps her dimPled jaw she 5
perfectly ssionished TO think aae made
sich mistake.
Seeondly, BruddeT Cantileyer. arter
de knot mas bin tied, make up Yer mind
dat de fucber won't be all plain saiiin'.
You are gwine to be tried an tested an
trubbied, an you hev got to call up all
yer manhood. You will h'ar de sasser
scrapin' de bottom CT de flour barl
when you hevon't got 4 cent IN yer
pocket. De wood-pile will run out in
Jinuarv, an de sugar an bacon will
seen. to be carried of by de rats. II yer
wife am eber SO good-nGtured she Will
hey !isr trials al tribulashuns, an' dar
,nsy be times when she'll riz up an
claw igr YOU. In dc y srs gone by my
ole woman has rushed upon me w;d de
roilin'-pin, an has rctorted in way
10 make her earsache, but all dc time L
knowed she was ssvin' an gooi-heart-
ed, an she knowed I'd empty my pock-
cts OF lie las shiilin' to buy her new
set cs false frizzes. If you am suited TO
each odder an occashuEal row in da
family will prove stickin plaster to
hold YOU de clusser together. II you
amt suiied-if you diskivcr dot you hav
struck patch OF Canada tiistles an
can't set sin. sn' il dc odder party dis
k;ycrs dat she has taken tumble eli &c
monument ot Romance an brought ar
wild thud in &c mud-hole OF Reality.
| you list ;,bscqualulate apart. Go quiet
" an dccentiy an git unhitched by IL,
VERGE, an let de wisdom gained by cs-
perienco stan st yer right hand when
We make anoder choice. Brudder Can
tileYer, my feeling an dc feeiins ob dc
club am with We, an our good wishes,
tore.her wild at least s. worth OF tin
ware. kin DC counted on whenever dS
fatal occashun arrOves.-BT0thsr GG'G
ncr, ils DetrOI Free Press.