Morning journal and courier., 1887-12-24
FUTURES.

l The people of the territory of Dakota be- lieve in future State.-Washingto Critic
 John L. Sullivan has met the Prince o1 Wales What became of the gate receipts is l not knoWn.-Rochester Post-Express. When church sewing society meets at g members house, the session soon develops | into an English-speaking race.-Puck At West -Instructor-"Give the rule for approximate calculation of horizon tai distance" Plebe (from New York city. confidently Twenty blocks to the mile. , Puck.
 "Who is that brute across the street who slaps those little boys? For cent I'd go over and kick him." ''Leave him alone. It's the only comfort he has," sWhy?" "He's the editor of the 'childrens corner depart ment of weekly paper. "-Lincoln Journal.
 Presence of Mind .-spielberger (who came in late Christmas eve and forgot the stocking ous1ness)-"Vot ged you, mine leedle sehn? Ha! gif you dot nice drompet you haf daie sooch goot care ohf since last Grisdmas. You pc goot poy dis year, unt you ged him again next yearsl'-Puck
 It is said that the charms of the kiss were revealed to the ancient civilized nations. but they hardly knew what to dc with it." Well, when they got one they should have put it right back where it came from. That IS the way kiss should be served every time.-Norristown Herald.
 He Cat Chicago restaurant)-s'There are 8 number of prominent people present, Mrs Wabash. There is an ex-governor and an ex-5udge and an ex-president of a railroad and the ex-district attorney" She-''Yes, and the gentleman talking to the ex-iudge IS an ex-husband of mine. .'-New York Sun.
 Sir" said Mir. RebeIhag, addressing the genial proprietor at the ffty-cent table d'hote, i've have been too kind to the South, that IS the difficulty. I have always been opposed to extending the right hand of fel- lowshlp to our southern brother until all this sectional feeling should have died out. t.n Puck
 inquired his wife. ssNot much 3 he an swered. 'I was lonesome and was sorry I was detained at the office so late that hadn't time to come for you. This going alone to the theater isn't what it's cracked up to be, my dear" 'No, I suppose not" returned the lady thoughtfully; E'still you must have been very comfortable,' she added, "as the two ticket stubs I found in your vest pocket gave you the advantage of more than one seat. t."-Puck.
 The story is going the rounds of a cowboy of the Wild West show who went into Lon don restaurant and ordered a steak, which was brought to him exceedingly rare. He looked at 1t a moment, then drew his revolver and blazed away at the meat. Of course there was panic, and the police came about the time that the revolver had been emptied. What on earth do you mean by this con- duet?" asked the proprietor. ''What do I mean, pard" answered the cowboy, "Why," pointing to the almost raw steak, "I wanted to kill the - thing"
 Say, what is you givin' us boss
 Does you take us for sardines or niunies?
 Way, all dis ere Santa Claus biz
 Is all mighty fine fer de greenies
 I've been dere, old boke, my names Chunky,
 I'm six an me brudder am four
 He aint quite got de notion,
 But den he 'aint long off de floor
 But, say, dem ere folks as has money
 And sets up de turkey scot free
 And de mince pie an fixin's, say mister
 Dat kind of Santy suits me.
 New York Journal