The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1887-04-21

90 W. For instance, my
.FE. little four-year-old,
Am H9S,,a,,.uaI watching heavy
- fall of rain, solemn
"Tx, A~ ly inquired: "Who
HLAhfM @C turned it on?" The
NEN idea was iudicrous
u but was perfectly natural one to a
= child who was used to seeing water
u flow only when it was turned on.
"A. The same youngster, after rain
tx spell of several days, became cross at
" being cooped in the house so long,
~ and discontentedly remarked: SIT
S takes bod a long time to do his
washing" The sloppy associations of the
'amily wash-day had evidently inspired the
-emark.
From an analogous association of ideas
:ame the remark of the little girl who, on
going to the country, where for the first time
IN her life she saw candlestick used for a
bedroom light, she exclaimed: "Oh,
mamma! see the little gas with handle"
The minds of children take short steps
ike their little legs, and the literal way in
which they take things is often productive
Of quaint observations. A three-year-old
little girl was taught to close her evening
Of her father, with "and please watch over
my papa" 1t sounded very sweet, but the
mothers amusement may be imagined
when she added, 'and you better keep
an eye on mamma, too" .,
by his teacher; "Behold, greater than Sol
omon is herel" "Hold graterto Solomon's
ear!' When at loss to give the answer
"Cain" to question relative to that individ
ual, the teacher, to jog his memory, s;I asked:
"What does man walk with?" Quick as
fash came the reply, "a woman"
Here is funny remark which could only
have proceeded from country maid:
What is the matter with the baby?' asked
q lady of little girl whose baby brother she
had understood to be ailing. "Nh, nothing
I.s much" was the answer; "he's only hatchin'
A remark which is fine instance of child
ish logic was that made by little girl to
nomical information. "T6at star you see up
there is bigger than the world" mo. It
isn't" said the child looking at the fiery
speck incredulously. eyes It is" Then
why don't it keep the rain Off"
The limited vocabulary Of children con-
strains them to expedients of speech which
was twisting his face and wrinkling his nose
because of a bad odor, remarked: "Oh,
father, how wish was deaf and dumb IN
my nose!
An accidental hitting of the key note of a
familiar phrase caused little tot to make this
funny break: Her mother, in hearing her
say her prayers, told her to ask the Lord to
make her good girl Dear Dod," said the
girlSand Il at firth You don't succeed, try,
try again" she unexpectedly added.
Something OF similar association of ideas
may be discerned in the remark of q little girl
to her Sunday school teacher. "How did the
Queen of Sheba travel when she went to see
Solomon asked the teacher of the class.
No one ventured an answer, "Could she
beginning to lose patience. "Yes'm," said .
little girl at the end Of the class. ..She went
by steam-cars." "Did she, indeed p said the
teacher. "Well, Louise, we would like to
know how you found it out" In the second
verse;" responded the child, lit says she came
| NTH a very great train"
| of which mothers are well aware, but which
| they sometimes forget to their sorrow. A
lady, dining out, said: SIT isn't polite,
| Bobby, to smack your lips when eating.
| You never do that at home" Bobby
"Cause we never have anything worth
smacking over"
| Some children once made dreadful rev.
elatiOn OF maternal c8lculatlOn III tnls
fashion: "Grandpa, dear, we have come to
wish you many happy returns of yoar birth
day, and mamma says if you give us each a
dollar We are not to lose it on our way
home"
Intentional fnn.making on the part Of
children is mere buffonery. They are moi
punsters, for that implies knowledge
beyond the capacity of childhood. Here il
an anecdote which is clearly the work of the
| paragrapher for no child would ever have
perpetrated the atrocity: "Your father il
entirely bald, isn't her said man to a mil
lionaires little boy. "Yes," replied the boy
sadly; "Pm the only heir he has left"
That is fair sample of class of para.
graphs that pass for children's sayings, when
they are altogether impossible utterances fol
children.