Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-10-01

M I'M ING
JOURN AL.
FROSTBURG, MD, OCT. 1, 1887
IN LIGHTER VEIN.
WHY THE MOVEMENT WOULD FAIL.
81 don't think the movement against de-
co'iete dresses will make much Roadway
among the Brooklyn girls" remarked Snip
pit
"Why?" asked Joggins.
Because in the Brooklyn schools the
scholars are compelled to commit the CON
stitution of the United States to memory"
"What has that got to do with it ?"
"Why, they'll see that the fundamental
law of the country gives them the right to
bare arms"
HOW MANY THERE ARE.
How many American defaulters do you
suppose there are in Canada?" asked Nc
Fiddleton.
81 don't know" replied Tripper.
'More than 700"
"How did you find out so exactly?"
"Why a Canadian paper took vote
on the question of annexation, and more
than that number were opposed to the
scheme"
HE WAS PROGRESSING.
How are you getting along in your new
situation?' asked a gentleman of a boy of
his acquaintance.
First rate" was the reply; "rm one of
the directors now"
"You surprise me. | didn't know the firm
was a stock company"
II don't think it is, sir. direct envelopes
and circulars"
HAMLET-A LITTLE HAM.
"Let us go to the theatre tonight" sug-
gested a citizen to a man in the pork bust
ness.
co." was the reply, 81 don't know that
care to. What is the play2"
"'Hamlet'"
"Then of course I'll CO. Pm interested in
everything pertaining to hams, even to little
ones"
WHAT STRUCK HIM MOST.
First Citizen-Been to Boston, have you?
Second Citizen-Yes.
"What struck you most forcbly there?"
"What struck me as peculiar was the fact
that there are no BARRIERS there
No barbersI'
"No; they are all tonsorial artists and alb
breviators of capillary attachments"
THE LAND HE HAD GONE TO.
Zones has gone to the spirit land" re-
marked one man to another.
"What! Jones deadr' was the reply. 81
hadn't heard of it."
81 didn't say he was dead.'
you said he'd gone to the spirit land.
$50 he has-gone to Kentucky, the country
of old Bourbon"
HE GETS IN HIS WORK.
speaking about men who get in their
work." remarked Scroggs, 81 know one
man who never fails"
"Who is that ?" asked Joggins
HE is well digger. You see, he can't do
his work at all unless he gets in it."
THE HOUSE SET GOOD EXAMPLE.
"Look here" said a Centre-avenue man to
builder, that house you put up for me is
settling"
That's because you fail to do it," replied
the latter. '"There are three payments due
now"
M'CoRKLE WAS IMPERTINENr.
"Are you going to the baseball match this
afternoon, Snippit?"
Eyes, McCorkle; Pm going as soon as l
take BATH
'Take BATH What do you want to go in
disguise for?"
CALIFORNIA STILL AHEAD.
Pennsylvania Man-We have discovered
gold quartz in Franklin county.
California Man-Quartz O, pshaw! We
never pretend to find it in California in less
than bushels.
QUIPs
A leader of the German-Bismarck.
Sullivan's favorite theologian is John
Knox.
1t is no wonder Queen Victoria writes
books. She has so many literary subjects.
Among the foreigners who come to this
country Englishmen are best entitled to the
name ale-iens.
DIR. Torsey, of Boston, marries couple in
eighty seconds. What a mariner he would
make, with his forty-five knots an hourl
THE WORST FOOL-KILLER OF ALL.
CHAD M'CoY.
>\l/
=, g.
n ~
g y q M
IT(YN '';'..'.|| Ks