davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
The shower OF Diamonds.

Mr.. Strceter, the jeweler. told our rep.
resentative this story.
Just after the fall OF pekin. sus-
plcious fellow called upon me. and, TAX
Ing nue. aside, said he had just returned
and had something to show me.
".Where Is itl' said.
"'Down at Gravesend;' and day or
two afterward, having got the rendcz-
vous, a friend and myself set out down
the river, each with his revolver. We
got down. went to house in a low quar-
ter. and were passed into the mans bed
room, where he was living.
".New, my man, what have you goty
"He said, Come here and will show
YOU motloning me to go behind the bed.
II didn't quite like 1t. but he treasured
me; and when he had me face to face,
keeping my eyes on him, and my hand on
my pistol. he let down his trousers and
babe me put my hand on a belt which was
strapped round his waist
81 want 100000 for that, he said
softly VIII you give its'
After some persuasion. he opened
the belt and poured out O shower o
diamonds which lighted up the shabb,
room.
- Where did you get them FROM
81 He refused TO say, and after somi
bargaining we came to terms. He handed
me the diamonds. and then turned rouns
and said, Now, my man, II you will cal
at -, my bankers, you will find checl
ready for you at 10 A. NJ. tomorrow
morning. But before that must hav,
references and an account
"Hegave them to me without amurmur
and found them all right. = Pail Nal
Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

II have story for you" said drum
mer. 81 don't mean yarn or Joke,
but simple account of fact
a. Last week / was out In Iowa, and one
night stopped In Ottumwa. There l be-
came well acquainted with quiet young
man. On his invitation sat In his room
In the evening, and he told me that he was
q minister of the Gospel who had been or
dained few weeks before, and had come
to Ottumwa to perform the marriage GER
emory for some friends OF his. In fact.
the ceremony was to take place that very
night In his room.
Pretty soon rather elderly couple
came In, shook hands warmly with my
friend, ending In standing up before him
and being married In the usual form.
After time they left and my new friend
said to me:
".That, think, Is the most peculiar
marriage ceremony a minister ever per-
formed. never heard OF its equal. and
never expect to-.
What do you meanf' l said.
".Ill tell you,' was his reply, only
you must bear In mind that 1t Is secret.
My father and mother were pioneers
In county not far from this city. l was
reared on their farm. and finally sent of
to school. My parents are well-to-do
people, church workers, and are highly
respected In the nelghborhood.
"About two years ago my father wrote
me a letter, In which he wanted my adj
vice and assistance. To make the story
short, and not 10 stop to describe the PEE
cullar circumstances, can say that my
fathers trouble was that he had never
been married to the woman who passed
as his wife.
For years they had been satisfied
with this relationship. but at length my
mother began to worry about II. She
wanted the ceremony performed legally
My father had no objection. but did not
dare to go to any minister or functionary
In the neighborhood.
lou know what country communi-
ties are, and what unpleasant talk would
have followed. Then my father consulted
me, and the result of 1t was decision to
wait.
1.-TWO weeks ago was ordained a
minister, and our plans were then carried
out. The couple Just married were my
own father and mother '"-[Des Moines
Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
New England Twigs.

A maiden schoolmistress thinks that
some OF her pupils compositions are
funnier than anything of Mark Twain's.
From an essay ON Fashion" written by
a boy OF ~, she cites the following:
Sensible people wear sensible fashions,
and insenslble people insensibie FASH
IONS"
Another hopeful OF hers, whiting on the
subject "a Rainy Afternoon" evolved
from an inner consciousness deeper than
that OF Josh Billings, the following sem
tence.
ut ralned hard. and I could not go
owdoors, and SO / went out In the shed
and sod some wood.
In a little straw frame on her mantel
Is a sentence from the pen other youngest
and brightest. given in answer to the
request: Write in twenty words def
milton OF Man." 1t reads thus:
Man is an animal that stands up; he
Is not very big and he has to work for q
living. Boston Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
oSLy A SONG.

It was only simple ballad.
Sung TO a careless throng:
There were none that knew the singer.
And few that needed the song;
Yet the singers voice was tender
And sweet, as with love untold:
Surely those hearts were hardened,
That 1t left SO proud and cold
She sang OF the wondrous glory
That touches the woods in spring,
or The strange soul.stirring voices
When 1.-THE hills break forth and sing =
OF tho happy birds low wsrbllng
The requiem of the day.
And the quiet hush Of the valleys
In the dusk Of the cleaning gray.
And one In distant corner
A woman worn with strife
Heard In that song q message
From the spring-time Of her life;
Fair forms rose up before her,
From the mist Of vanished years;
She sat in happy blindness,
Her eyes were yelled In tears.
Then when the song was ended,
And hushed the last sweet tone,
The listener rose up softly
And went on her way alone.
Once more to her life OF labor
She passed, but her heart was strong;
And she prayed, "God bless the singer
And. oh, thank God Tor the song Z
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
I'll. Mouth ofBabs. and sneLllng..

!" Now, Minnie said mother to her
four-year-old daughter. II want you to
play with your little brother while am
down town
AN what will you bring me?'
Never mind I'll bring you some
thing and now, mind you, l. he wants to
play With your toys you mustn't cry"
. Nome"
Whom the lady returned the little girl
ran to her and said:
II played with my little brother. Now.
what did you bring me?"
:. Mamma brought you an orange.
Where's little brother?"
. He's sleep. Gimme the orange"
She took the orange and said
When he grabbed my dishes ! didn't
cry
!. You didn't! Why. you are good
little girl"
g Yessum. an when he grabbed my doll
didn't cry. eiver.'
:. You dldn't?"
:. Nome
What did you say?"
Nuffln'. but ] knocked him down wifi
the little chair"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

The introduction OF the megaphone on
shipboard--a sort Of telescope for the
ear, or machine for magnifying sound lis
sa.d to be a boon In prospect for mariners.
Its design Is to enable person 10 hear or
carry on q conversation with people ut .
distance and II Is constructed OF two
huge eone-shaped tubes. eight feet long
and three In diameter at the large end,
which diminish to an spex IN the form OF
rubber tubes small enoughto place IN the
ear. s
Between these tnhes are two smaller
ones, constructed In tho same manner,
but not more than half the diameter. by
placing the rubber tubes In the ear and
speaking through tho smaller cones the
person can hear and be heard At q long
distance. and It thus aids mariners In
listening for the sound OF breakers, or
carrying on conversation with persons on
shore or on other vessels ssS Distance
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

Encouragement for Aspiring Young People.
The country lyceum Is sometimes made
The subject of ridieule. Its would-be
poets and orators are laughed at, and the
subjects its members discuss are some
times absurd and not well-timed. But
great things have often come from these
laughed-at spe.ik 4rs and orators In eoun-
try literary societies or lyeeams.
Men who have made their first speeches
In these lyeeums have sometimes made
their last in the halls OF Congress.
Writers who have come timidly and trem-
blingly forward to read their first es-
says In little country school-rooms have
had the world for their stage and its
delighted people for their hearers in
after years.
Every school district should have lit
erary society for the long winter even
ings. II Is a never-failing source of
enjoyment, and good Is sure to come
from 1t.
Almost every neighborhood has readers
and thinkers who can discuss clearly
and intelligently all topics OF general
interest.
Every nelghborhood has an organ and
singers. and il the music Is not very
good and the singing not good at all. a
desire may at least be awakened for
something better.
A taste for good reading good music,
good stories, good singing and for good
In all things has been created In country
lyceums.
Ridiculous things may be said and
done, but very wise man once wrote,
. He who hath not dram of folly In his
mixture hath pounds of much worse mat
ter In his composition
The amusing things of life play most
important part in bringing about general
happiness and general good. Every man
and every woman is better for hearty
laugh once In while.
A literary society for young people. and
particularly young people living In quiet,
rural districts, should always have an
element of fun In 1t |; and happily this ele-
ment Is seldom missing In such societies.
youths Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
stlneIness ofshe Great Napoleon.

Napoleon the First was great admir-
er of Mile. Georges, but by no means
lavish in his ideas OF liberality. One
day, however, after ailuiing in terms OF
satisfaction to her performance Of the
preceding evening. he signiiied his inten-
ton OF bcstowing owher n mark OF his
approval, and asked her what she would
like best
"SIre, she replied, amy great ambi-
ton is to possess o portrait OF your
Majesty"
Your wish Is easily gratilied, said
the Emperor, with smile; and, putting
his hand In his pocket, he presented her
with the desired efflgy in the shape Of
not as she probably expected, a miiia-
ture enriched with diamonds, but--a Ave-
franc piecei
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
something for inventor. % Read.

A portable sanitary stove Is called for
by the Lancet. 1t says:
There Is great need for portable
stove which might be used In q sick room
without either poisoning the atmosphere
with the fumes of parafiine or the pro-
ducts OF combustion or consuminga large
proportion Of the available oxygen.
" The apparatus should be Of moderate
size, should give out fair amount Of
kettle OF water and should be provided
with q flexible tube which might be con-
Quoted into the chimney.
There ought TO be no great difficulty
In devising a heating appliance OF the
nature required. It would be Invaluable
for use In cases in which, no nurse being
in attendance to keep up en- ordinary fire,
moderate temperature might be main
Gained"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
pi.nond Gu. Diamond.

Some people In Montreal must be pos
sessed Of what Is generally known rs
Yankee 'cuteness.
A hackman In that city recently slipped
away from the mansion to which he had
conveyed bridal couple, In order to try
to pick up ia fare during the ceremony and
reception.
But the happy couple were no less fore
handed, The groom insisted that the
fare thus earned should be deducted from
the total bill, and he carried his point.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
General Grants matsrna, Anes.,ors.

General Grant In his personal Mem
oirs, . says OF his mothers family page
22): My mothers family lived In
Montgomery county. Penn, for several
generations. / have little information
about her ancestors" etc.
The archives OF the HIbernian So
ciety OF Philadelphia contain the fol-
lowing In respect to General Grants
mother:
" Matthew Simpson. respectable
farmer OF Galen, county Tyrone ireland.
emigrated with his family to America and
settled In Bucks county, Penn. His
daughter, Hannah, became prominent al
the mother OF General Grant and one
OF the sons was the father OF the late
BishopSimpson Of Philadelphia. - Phlla'
delphla News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
PEOPLE WHO TRAVEL.
Some E.psrIsnees Of . pspo. Master.

For nice. every day. go-as-you-
please nuisance said the depot master
.'give me an ancient and provincial
woman. / am not an old man, nor lave
/ been in this business very long, but
am getting gray just the same, and
believe these women are responsible for
It.
There was one In here the other day.
She arrived one hour and half before
the train she wished to take was scheduled
to leave Five trains went out before
hers did, but she charged on the gate
keeper at every departure. You cannot
get woman to believe standard and
local time are Identical. / don know
why. but you cannot"
Are all travellers obnoxious to you.
then?"
mo, sir. We meet with some very
pleasant people can tell you. The
incest travellers come from the East.
Massachusetts, or Connecticut people are
refreshing to deal with. They do what
you tell them, mark what you say and
don't repeat questions.
Southern people are seen but seldom
around here. Those that come here are
mostly OF the lower classes and are ig-
norant In the extrome. The Western
traveller Is free, a trlile egotistie hut the
sharpest OF them all. l rather like TO
have lim s5out. Immigrants are not at
all lad u handle
Any sharp practices carried on nova
days about this depot:'
No. l think the depot sharp Is a
thing OF the past. He is not extinct
however, by any means. There are two
or three of them who stand on the other
side al the street and work everybody
who goes in or out Canadians and conn
try people arc their softest prey. Fast
ern travellers sometimes fall into their
SHARES, Immigrants once In q great whiio.
but Western man, never. They are
afraid OF Western people, these slisrps,
and never attempt to work Them
AZ class, which are the most prefer
| able about q depot-men or women
Men by all means. Women are
slovenly or careless, Idon't know which.
They throw the remnants OF a luncheon
on the floor without the slightest con-
cern. and are generally moro trouble
some. Give me men every time In n
waiting room. - Detroit Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

TO the habit OF shaving, II all men
protected their throats by chin-whlskers
and the nerves OF the face by
liberal growth, you wouldn't hear OF
half the present ailments. When / was
a boy l never heard of case OF neural-
gia in the facial nerves. In these days
1t is as common as cases OF ague. Men
used to wear boards. The fashion OF
to-day is meant to encourage ailments.
Shaving opens the pores Of the face
and invites neuralgia to step in and
twiteh the nerves"
{" Well, is that all today"
=" All but one thing. When barber
invites you to have your hair cut
n raw winter day please rise up
and punch his head--for me."--f Detroit
Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
The Duchess's Now nonnss.

certain Duchess happening TO pass
through the Burlington Arcade. In Lon
don. stopped for an instant before
bonnet shop, An elderly individual
came up, and in winning tones inquired
II she admired the bohnets.
Slightly surprised, she answered that
she thought them very pretty.
Then" said he, "would you like me
To buy you one?'
Thoroughly approaching the joke. she
Immediately said that nothing would
please her more.
After having carefully examiued every
bonnet. she finally chose one. for which
her ancient admirer promptly paid
g What address shall send 1t to, mad
ams' asked the assistant.
The answer came In q clear steady
voice, ITO the Duchess Of No. $500
street"
When she turned round she found that
her friend bad vanished. 500 - -,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
The Malay said:

The Malay said:
"Such dirty practice. We say 70
ourselves, What do know OF the history
of this fork? It has been In hundred,
perhaps thousand mouths; perhaps
In tho mouth OF my worst enemy This
thought IL very repulsive to u.s."
"But," said I, 1.-THE fork is thoroughly
cleaned or ought to be, every time II IS
used. first with soap and water. then with
plaic-powder.'
Ought to be; quite so. But howdo
you know that your servant does not
shirk his work? II you have lazy SER
want you are liable to eat with fork that
has not been thoroughly cleaned; where
as, know that my fingers are clean, for
wash them myself before eating. They
are quite as clean as the cleanest fork,
and they have two great advantages over
it--one that they have never been In any
ones mouth but my own, and another
that they are washed by myself. - Emily
Innes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
rnsidsa Church In Cuba.

A traveller reports q common scene in
q Cuban church:
Each pIous dame brings a little
carpet, or rather a small-sized negro
brings it for her. She kneels. but In q
few minutes sits. An ill-bred person
would say 'squats.' Tired with the course
OF the ceremonial, she ut length reclines.
In the middle OF the service the noor is
strewn with a choice assortment OF ladies'
dress goods with the ladies inside Of
them.
..At certain places In the ceremonial
It Is necessary for everybody TO place
themselves In q kneellng posture, and
there is o general struggle to attain this
end. To see two or three hundred women
scrambling ut once from reclining 70 q
kneeling position. has q tendency for the
moment to destroy the solemn feeling
one should have under the circum-
st1ns1ss -----s a. k-a-@-.s -,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

Mrs. Fogg--"We had little e.4!er-
tainment at the vestry this evening. 1t
was very good--that Is. the most CT It;
but there was gentleman who read
several pieces, and for the life OF me
couldn't say what they were. ! could
hardly understand o word he said. 1t
was perfectly dreadful to listen TO
him."
fagg-.I can sympathlze with you,
No, l don't know who he Is. but from
what you say of him 1t Is plain enough
that he Is professional elocutionist."
Il Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
Advertisement for q wife

l want a good wife. ! am farmer or
anything else she wants. Any sort OF
complexion will do. No difference how
high or low she Is, so she will be true to
my five little ones. have just returned
from Arkansas, where my wife died on
the first day OF August. 1884. / prefer a
light Completed woman, and she must
have straight hair. have got my own
corn and rs to 100 bushels Of sweet po-
tatoes have been wanting TO get
good woman; and / will respect one whcn
days. Address s. w. Goddard, Rome, Ga.
--fRome (0a) Bulletin
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
A Boys Claim for Damages.

The Galveston News relates an anus
ing incident In connection with the dis
astrous fire there. A little eight-year
old, who had been one OF the suffer
ers by the fire, hearing that he might
get relief by applying to the COM
mittee, determined to prepare his
claim.
After careful consideration II was
written out and presented the follow
Ing unique series Of items:
q "A bicicle % two ginnle pigs, 81; one
prery dog, 81; half pound shot. &c. "A
rifel, %; carttckets In bank, &C.,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
rablIo assa for rlfty Y..rs.

Alfred Tennyson and William Ewart
Gladstone are Of The same age, and
each has been before the world for
fifty years as poet and orator. They
are close friends.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16
why Men should Not shave.

How about shaving, DoctorY'
1t Is q dangerous habit. You
can trace nearly every case OF tooth
echc and facial neuralgia IN man
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-02-16

al never forget my friends"
"Then why have you not called or
made it known that you were In town
Our people would have been delighted,
reproaehfully.
q suppose you would have been de-
lighted, too" almost a sheer.
~ will overlook the cruelty Of your
remark. and not only say yes, but express
q hope that you viii honor our house
with your presence as often as you
can find time and It a pleasure TO
call"
He almost cursed the bird which,
snake-like. had drawn him into the
snarei Poor little thingl 1t was now
far away. He concluded bitterly that
she had, among other things. forgotten
his elevated and exalted position IN
society, and that she remembered Just
suficient to open the book Of Irritation
again.
DR. Detrop arose without a word and
etarted down the slope alone he did not
=.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-04-13

aco:recG attention to books; what
with the mental confusion reduced
fy teaching subjects before they
n be understood, aud in each of
them giving concentrations before
the facts of which these are the
congratulations; what with making
the pupil II mere passive recip ent
Of others ideas and not in the least
leading him to be an active cnqui-
rer or self-instructor; and what
with taxing the faculties to excess,
there are very few minds that be-
come as efficient as they might be.
Examinations nee passed, books
are laid aside; the greater part of
what has been acquired, being m
organized, soon drops out of rccol
lection; what remains is mostly in
ert-thc art of applying knowledge
not having been northumberland
there is but little power either OF
accurate observation or iudcpend-
ent thinking. 70 all which add
that while much of the information
gained is of relatively small value,
an immense ElaSS Of Information of
transccndcnt value is entirely pas
scd over"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-04-13
Whom to studs Grammar.

"Wncn would you put q child in
Grammar" was II Of the quest
ions for the teachers to answer in
their examination the other FAY.
The majority Of the teachers said
that 4 child should be put in Gram
mar when he could read in the
third reader, and some Ct them
would put a child in Grammar ~
ca before he had commenced &C.
oGraphy. Now tho teachers gcnnr-
ally showed Il greater lack of
knowledge Of grammar than Of tho
other subjects. a great many of
them who averaged or 10 on His
tory, Geography and Arithmetic,
made only G or Z Oh Grammar.
This accounts for tthcir wanting to
make children begin this purely
abstract subject so early. The fol-
lowing quoted from Herbert Spen-
Ger may be ofintcrcst:-
"Intcllcctual progress Is Of ne
ceSSity from the concrete to the
abstract. But regardless of this,
highly abstract subjects, such az
grammar, which should come quite
late, are begun quito early. Polit-
icnl geography dead and unintcr-
csting to Il child, and which should
be an appcndngc Of sociological
studies, is commenced betimcs,
while physical geography, comp:e-
hcnSivc and comparatively attrac-
tive to Il child, is in great part pas
Sod over. Nearly every subject
dealt with IS arrangcdin abnormal
order: definition, rules and princi-
pies being put first, instead 0fbeing
disclosed a. they are in the order of
nature, through the study Of cases.
And then pervading the Who'll. is
the vicious system of rote learning,
the system of sacrificing the spirit
to- the letter. Sec the results.
What with perceptions unnatural
~ dulled BY early thwayting, ond