davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Story Of q College President.

The Boston Post tells good story
about the late President kirkland OF
Harvard university. The boys used
to sample a famous article OF flip at
Porter's hostelry in Cambridge. Tho
president resolved to ascertain tor
himself the nature OF the beverage
which hestudents INDUCED in. So he
went up to the old hostelry and asked
to see the landlord. Porter, who
knew the president, was greatly dis.
turbed, as he knew he should receive
a severe rebuke from the head OF tho
college for catering to the tastes Of
convivially-inclined students. "Mr.
Porter" said DR.. Kirkland in a grave
tone, II understand my young men
come up here and drink your flip"
ayes, SIR" replied the tavern-keeper
in q voice which told how he deprecat-
ed the expected admonition, ''they
do" Let me have some of that flip, "
said the dignltied president. Where.
upon mug of the beverage was
brought out and was tasted by DR..
Kirkland. Then, fixing stern glance
upon Porter, who almost trembled
under it, the president said: "And
my young men come out here and
drink this stuff, do thew" eyes, sir, "
meekly replied the tavern-keeper.
"Well," said DR.. Kirkland, draining
the mug, "Ishould think they would"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
An Agreeable journey.

The Kentuckians tell a good story
OF ex'Gov. Nagoffin Of that state, who
is a good talker and likes to do most
OF the talking himself. One day, in
making the journey from Cincinnati
to Lexington, he shared his seat in the
car with q brisht-eyed, pleasant-faced
gentleman. The governor, after a few
commonplace remarks, to which his
compa nion smiled and nodded assent,
branched into description OF the
scenes he had witnessed in different
parts OF the country, grew eloquent
over the war, described with glowing
speech the horse races he had witness.
ed, talked lenrnedly of breeding and
told thrilling stories of his battles
with the Indians in the northwest.
The hours slipped rapidly away, and
when the train was nearing Lexington
the two exchanged cards and parted
with a cordial shake of the hands.
The governor drove to an inn, and to
a number OF friends he remarked that
tie time had never seemed so short
before.
"Ihen you must have had q pleas.
ant company abroad"
"You are right. met gentleman
OF unusual in telligence. We conversed
all the way over. never was brought
in contact with n more agreeable
man."
"IndeetN Who was he?" asked his
friends
"Wait minute, l have his card, /"
and the governor felt in his pocket,
and produced bit OF pasteboard.
ellis name is King
'Not Bob King?" shouted a dozen
in one breath.
Yes, gentleman, Robert King-that
is the way the card reads" was the
proud reply.
A roar OF laughter followed.
"Why, governor, Bob King is as
deaf as post. He was born deaf and
dumb''-Ben: Perley Poore in Boston
Budget.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Women.

Countess OF Jersey, in National Review.
The best educated woman will best
understand the limits of her own DOW.
ers; the girl who can really earn her
living in a manner suited to her sex,
will not deisre work for which she is
unfit; and the women who most
thoroughly understands what the
term "politics" implies will be the
last to aspire to direct share in the
government Of the state. even though
she may think herself and her sisters
not unworthy OF a voice in the choice
of their rulers. '"rhere is a great deal
Of human nature about" even in
women, and you will never succeed in
cutting them ali to one pattern. Votes
or no votes, Penelope will embroider,
Nansicaa entertain her guests, andre.
mache nurse her baby, Helen will flirt,
Arpasia teach eloqnence and guide
statesmen to the end of the chapter.
And Cassandra? Oh, Cassandra will
prophesy. We fear tina she will be as
little needed as she was in days of yore,
and We hope that her forebodings will
prove less true than those which spoke
the doom OF Troy.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

President and Mrs. Diaz of Mexico have
promised to be for time the guests of
Nine. Patti-NicoliEi when they go to Eu.
rope couple OF years hence.
1t is expected that as result OF tho
McGlynn affair, the pope will address an
encyclical letter to the Catholics of Ameri.
ca on the attitude OF Catholicism toward
the rising tide OF democracy.
Secretary of War Endicott was at the
Fifth Avenue hotel en- route to Washing
ton from Boston. He said: Il don't be-
lieve q rupture will take place with Eng.
land" you don't think Ingalls, speech
meant war, do you?" "Well, it received
great attention in Gloucester; but, of
course, don't anticipate hostiities with
England.' "Then you are not getting
our army in condition for rupture?'
ooh, no; the fishermen are glad to think
that somethine is being done in the matter y
Complete returns from the recent con.
gressional election in the Eighth Wisconsin
district for a successor to William T. Price
chow that Nils p. Haugen, Republic an, is
elected for the long term by 1858 plurali-
ty, and Hugh II. Price, Republican, for the
short term. by a majority of 1909.
Price was endorsed by the Prohibitionists
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Senator Pugh'S Family.

Even as dull and formal proceed
ing as a reception at the White
House is not without its humorous in
cidents. Senator Pueh OF Alabama, a
staid, dignified old gentleman of about
IS, vita just the suspicion OF the
patriarch in his makeup, approached
the president, accompanied by about
25 young ladies, evidently students OF
one OF the local seminaries. AS he ex:
tended his hand to the president the
usher on duty cried out in a loud
voice:
Senator Pugh and family"
1t was with some difficulty that the
youthful mistress OF the White House
kept her composure. The line behind
her, however, was not quite so consid-
crate. A smile passed over every ones
countenance, and was turned into d
loud outlaw as the Alabama states.
man passed out of the door followed
by his numerous family"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

communication has been published
from Berlin, which comes from an authen.
tic source and asserts that war between
Germany and France is regarded more
probable at Berlin than would I've inferred
from the Information accessible to tho
public. It is said to come from Bismarck
himself, that there is ample authentic evil
;dencc that Gen. Boulanger is persuaded
that France will be prepared in 1883 to
enter unaided into a great and decisive
struggle. II Russia, however, should speed
lily take action, or il All outbreak should
occur in the Balkans, there was evidence
THAT Gen. BoulanGer contemplated Il cam
!paign against Germany within few
months. Tho communication concludes:
President Grevy and Prime Minister Cob
move Gen. Boulaneer from the control OF
tho military affairs OF France. The main
tenance OF peace much depends on Gen.
'Boulauger's removal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Tho Effects Of Mental Exhaustion.

Many diseases. especially those OF the nervous
system, are the products Of daily renewed men.
tai exhaustion. Business avocations often in.
vo!ve an amount OF mental wear and tear very
prejudlcial to physical health. and the profess
sions, il arduously pursued, are no less destruc.
tive to brain nnd nerve tissue. 1t H. one Of the
most important attributes OF Hostettefs stom-
ach Bitters that it compensates Tor this undue
loss OF tissue, and that It inparts new energy TO
the brain and nerves. The rapidty with which
1t renews weakened mental energy and PHYSICAL
vitality is remarkable and shows that it's invig-
Grating properties are OF the highest order Be.
sides increasing vital stamina, and counterfeit
ing the effects of MENTAL exhaustion, this poten
tial medicine cures and prevents fever and ayue
rheumatism. chronic dyspepsia and constpa-
ton, kidney and uterine weakness and other
complaints. Physicians also commend it as q
medicated stimuent and remedy.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
COnceding Something to Wash.
fngtOn.

She was a Boston girl and was re:
,eiving New.Year's with u friend in
Washington.
"Ah, Miss X.," said an esthetic
Lieutenant who had just been pre-.
,ented. "you are from Boston, / be-.
Ieive."
Eyes, that is my home"
Delightful place, Boston. So in.
tellectual. So classic, I may say.
Such elegant people. Such an air OF
refinement permeating every environ
ment. Nothingloud nothing coarse;
nothing vulgar. Delightful, delightful. I"
"You bet your life it u.s." she replied,
innocently; "but as far as I've got, I
think Washington takes the cake"
When they got the Lieutenant out oil
the wreck he started for home to
make out an application for a pen.
sion.-Washington Critic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
The surveyor general of Montana wants
$500 more for clerk hire:
WAm amsa aHn

What furniture can give such finish to
q room, as tender womans face" asks
George Eliot. Not any. we are happy to
answer, provided the glow OF health tenn
pers the tender expression. The pale. anx.
ious, bloodless face of the consumptive, or
the evident stiffetinss Of the dyspeptic, in.
duce feelings OF sorrow and grief on our part
and compel US to tell them of DR.. PIERCE
"aolden Medical Discovery" the sovereign
remedy for consumption and other diseases
OF the res piratory system as we'll AZ dyspcp-
STA and other digestive troubles. Sold ev.
erywhere.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Heart affections, kidney and liver
troubles affect nearly one-half OF all man.
kind. Yet how many heedlcssly pass
through a shortened life giving no care to
these complaints which cause tho human
family such great distress. Does your
heart beat violently from the least excite
ment?? Have you fits OF dizziness? Does
your back ache? Are your bowels consti-
pated? These symptoms are the first
warnings. Delay is dangerous. Be wise in
time. Regain perfect health by using
Browns Iron Bitters.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Rheumatism and Cstarrh Can bs Cured.
CASANpAIauA. n. T., May 2s, 1885
Pa r6en Nedicina 70

Rheumatism and Cstarrh Can bs Cured.
CASANpAlauA. N. T., May 2s, 1856
Pardee Medicine Co.,
GEs1LEAEN:-Nearly all winter ] was
confined to my room with infammntcTF
rheumatism. com menced using DR.. Par,
dee's Rheumatic Remedy, but after taking
it for time the pain became moro
intense, and l was alarmed and feared
the remedy was making me verse, but con.
tinued its use and soon the pain left mo
and gradually improved. the soreness
leaving my arms and shoulders and SEEM
ing t. pass out a. my toes. 1t has COM
pletely cured me- At the time l COM
menced using the remedy had Il throat
difficulty and the catarrh, which found
to be better after taking it, and it &C.
Cured to me to use it rs garsle,
which did, and to my great satisfaction
improved rapidly, and to-day am both
free from rheumatism and catarrh. con-
slider it indispensable as a family medicine.
l take one teaspoonful after breakfast and
find it splendid tonic. l would advise
you to recommend it as gargle for throat
troubles and catarrh, for l know it will
cure. 1have seen some remarkable cures
from the use OF this remedy, and it is one
can recommend to all.
am, very truly yours,
f. r. MCCALL.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

1t is not understood why druggists keep
in stock so many kinds OF medicines for
coughs, colds, and consumption, when it
is only necessary to keep Aliens Lung
Balsam, that old reliable remedy, which is
a pure vegeta BILE preparatio and perfectly
harmless, as it contains no opium in any
form. Sold everywhere.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Best COO(S are Pit In SIM Hast pa rca1s

The old proverb is certainly true in the
case Of DR.. Pierce's pheasant Purgative
Pellets,' which are little, sugar-wrappeel
parcels, scarcely larger than mustard
seeds, containing as much cathartic power
as is done up in the biggest, most repul-
sivelookins pill. Unlike the big pills, how
ever, they are mild and pleasant in their
operation-do not produce gripping pains,
nor render the bowels costive after using.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Less than one.hslf the Amount cured him

Less than one.hslf tie Amount cured him.
John c. Heron, OF 46, 4th street. Roch-
ester, has been troubled for years with
rheumatism in the shoulders and about the
heart. He gave physician ten dollars
for an examination, and he merely inform
ed him that he had rheumatism OF the
heart. He was cured by DR.. Pardec's Rem
edy, and for less than one. half the money
paid for the examination.
Ask your druggist for Dr.. Pardee's REM
edy. and take no other. Price, 81 per
bottle; six bottles, IS.
Pardee Medicine Co., Rochester, n. Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

''Is he accomplished" was asked
concerning a nobleman now honorine
society. II should think he was"
was the answer. He got $50 out of
old Skinftint, rho meyer lends O. cent.
New York Mail and Express;
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Our frequent orders during the past five
years attest the merits of your "Tansilrs
Punch" 5 cent Gig ar.
WINTER & CUSHING, Druggists Princeton,
III.
The ''Transilrs Punch" SC. cigar gives
No. satisfaction.
A. BRADBURY, Waterman, III.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Mrs. a.: 81 see you ,hav6 new SER
want girl?" Mrs. B.: Eyes, make it
q point toget a new one every month. I"
"But that must be very announcement"
Eyes, but there Is nothing going on
in this town that I don't know all
about it::''-Texas Siftings.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

FoR DYSPEPSIA. Indigestion. Depression of spirita
and General Debility, in their various forms also
mttent Fevers, the "FERRo- PHosrHoRArEp ELIxIn
OF CALlsAYA" made BY Caswell Hazard l. Co.. New
York, and sold by all Druggist is tho best tonic and
it has NO equal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

When irritation OF the throat causes q
tickling cough, use Red Star Cough Cure,
which will effect immediate and permanent
relief One OF Brooklyn's Board OF Health
officers recommends it as purely vegetable
and perfectly harmless. Price, 25 cents.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

The official circular was issued aunounc-
ing the appointment of George B. Clason
as ticket agent at St. Paul for the Milwau.
kee d St. Paul, n place of Charles Thomp.
son.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

st. Jacobs Oil deadens pain and makes
the lame walk. Major Arnold, OF the Occi-
dental hotel, San Francisco. CAL, was COM
pletely cured oi rheumatism by it's use.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Get Hoods

1fyou have made up your mind to buy Hoods Sarsa
parlla do not bc induced to take any other. Hoods
Sarsarara lisa peculiar medicine possessing, by virtue
its peculiar combination. proportion, and preparation
crvavc power superior to any other article of tho
kind before the people. Be sure get Hoods.
II had been taking Hoods Sarsaparlla for dyslep-
sia, and in store where tried to buy bottle the
clerk tried to induce to buy their own instead Of
Hoods; he told INC thoirs would last longer; that
might take it ten days trial. that it dll not like
need not pay anything, etc. But he could not pre-,
vail to change. I told him l knew what Hoods
sarsaparilla had takon it, it agreed with mo-
perfectly satisfied with Hoods sarsaparilla. and
did not want any other lam always glad to speak a
good word for this excellent medicine" MRS ELLA A
Corr. 81 Terrace Street, Boston, Mass.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Tested by Time For Throat Diseases,
Colds, and Coughs, BRowN's BRONCHIAL
TRoClIEs have proved their efficacy by a
test OF many years. Price 25 Cts
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Delicate diseases OF either sex, however
induced, radically cured. Address, with
10 cents in stamps for book, Worlds Dis.
pensary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

At Waukesha, Wis, fire occurred entire.
ly destroying the new and beautiful resi-.
dence OF II J. Bceyer, footing $40 900.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Mr.. Neal Farnham and Miss Bell Cad well
were pronounced man and wife at the
church OF the Redeemer in Minneapolis.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

John ". Watson, in recent suit In
New York, testified that he is tho author
OF beautiful Snow"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

The three cigar manufacturers in Roches
t0c employ thirty.two meu and boys, and
make 100, 900 cigars per month
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

Albert johnson, while coupling cars in thu
Manitoba yard, at St. Paul, was almost
instantly killed.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

For Liver Complaints take Aliens Iron
Tonic Bite re-. All genuine bear the sigma
turc OF j. ?. Allen. Druggist. St. Paul MINI.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

"Ouida" is in London, and is said to be
in very misantheopic mood.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

st. Paul beats the record in the way OF
carnival display. Over 1OO,G0 witnessed
the storming OF the ice palace.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

The best cough medicine is Piso's Cur
for Consumption. Sold everywhere. 25 cts
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
Transgresso1s' Ways

arc hard This h divine dictum, and sprlteah1s
to intact5ons ofnzts la~A it il to those Of tAe
Deity Law hesgnates the proper and punishes
deviatons from It, So It With the lawn OF nature.
Hence tho word is full Of diseased clprits branded
with Dysrstsia, Dsordered Livera Shattered Nerves.
Weak StomAcks md Thousand ailnen.s-pu nsh-
ishments imposed fof ts disregard of the benign laws
Of nature But, invalid. yos1 may obtain . PARDON and
10 restored to the RANKS Of healthy men Mend your
ways and follow the guidance OF Dr. TUFTS Liver Pills.
You will soou Wit, robust bodieS enjoy tho blessings
with which you ers surrounded.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

LYONS Patent Heel Stiffener is the only inverl
ton that makes old boots straight AZ new
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03
INJUSTICE CONTRIBUTED:
Convincing vsrine.tio. Of wiaeca.t Pablo State
aenta.

Convincing vsrineatie. Of wldecast Pasllc State.
nsats:
In common with many publishers
and editors, we have been accustomed
to look upon certain statements which
we have seen in our columns as merely
adroit advertising.
Consequently ne feel justified in TAX
ing the liberty OF printing a few points
from a private letter recently received
from one of our largest patrons, as a
sort of confession of faith to our
readers. We quote:
eve have convinced ourselves that
by telling what we know to be true,
We have produced at last a permanent
conviction In the pnblic mind. Seven
years ago'oEe stated what the nation;
al disease Of this country was, dnd
that it was rapidly increasing. Three
years ago we stated that d marked
check had been given it.
:The statistics of one of the largest
life insurance companies Of this coun-
try shows that In 1883 and 1884, the
mortality from kidney disorders did
not increase over tho previous years;
other companies stated the same thing.
Is not presunptuous for us to claim
ceidit for checking these ravages.
'Seven years ago we stated that
the condition of the kidneys was the
key to the condition oil health; within
the past five years all careful life in.
surance companies have conceded the
truth OF this statement, for, whereas,
ten years ago, chemical analysis to
determine the condition of the kid:
neys was not required, to-day mill.
ions OF dollars in risks are refused,
because chemical examination discov-
ers unsupported diseases OF the kid
neys.
"Seven years ago we stated that
the ravages Of Bright's DISEASE were
! insignificant compared with other
unsupported disorders OF the kidneys
of many misleading names; that
ninety-three per cent. of human all.
ments are attributable to deranged
kidneys, which fills the blood with
uric acid, or kidney poison, which
causes these many fatal diseases.
''The uric acid, or kidney poison, is
the real cause Of the majority of cases
OF paralysis, apoplexy, heart desease,
commissions. pneumonia, consumption,
! and insanity; over half the victims OF
consumption are first the victims oil
diseased kidneys.
"When the recent death of an honor.
! ed ex-official of the United States was
announced, his physician said that
, although ne was suffering from Bright s
Disease, that was not the cause OF his
! death. He was not frank enough to ad.
nit that the apoplexy which overlook
him in his bed, was the fatal effect OF
the kidney poison in the blood. which
had eaten away the substance of the
arteries and brain; nor was I.ogan's
physician honest enough to state that
his fatal rheumatism was caused by
kidney acid in the blood.
"If the doctors would state in off.
| cial reports the original cause ofdeath,
the people of this country would be
alarmed, yea, nearly panic stricken,
| At the fearful mortality from kidney
F., disorders"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1887-02-03

The writer's OF the above letter give
these facts to the public simply to
Justify the claims that they have
made, that "if the kidneys and liver
are kept in a healthy condition by
the use of Warmers safe cure, which
hundreds of thousands have proved
to be specific, when all other reme-
dies failed, and that has received the
endorsement of the highest medical
talent in Europe. Australasia and
America, many life would be pro-
longed and the happiness ofthe people
preserved. 1t is successful with so
many different diseases because it and
it alone, can remove the uric acid
from the blood through the Kidneys"
Our readers are familiar with the
preparation named.
Commentator thereof has often
appeared in our columns.
We believe it to one of the best, if
not the best ever manufactured. We
know the preprietors are men of char
acter and influence.
We are certain they have awakened
a widespread interest in the public
mind concerning the Importance of
the kidneys. We believe with them
that they are the key of health, and
that for their restoration from dis
ease and maintenance in health, there
Is nothing equal to this great remedy.
The proprietors say they "do not
glory in this universal prevalence of
disease, but having started out with
the purpose OF spreading the merits of
Warmers safe cure before the world,
because it cured our senior proprietor,
who was given up by doctors as incura-
bic, we feel it our duty to state the
facts and leave the public to it's own
inference. We point to our claims,
and to their public and universal
notification with pride, and if the pub
does not believe what we say, we tell
them to ask their friends and neighbors
what they think about our prepare
tions."
AS stated above we most cordially
commend the perusal of this CORE.
spondence by our readers, believing
that in so doing. we are fulfilling a
simple public obligation.