The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-04-13
awaits the man who will get out a patent BY
!, \ children may be born when they are

awaits the man who will get out patent by
\ children may be born when they are
years old.
sRAI. GREEDY chief OK the Signal Service.
fnus t difficult to get acclimated at Washington.
and is obliged to leave that city every few weeks
TO recuperate.
MARK TWAIN often astonishes the good PEG
pie of Hartford by laughing outright in church
when the pious pastor says things the humorist
does not believe.
JAMES GORDON BENNETT is to be made
count by the Pope. After that he will not feel
embarrassed when his dark-eyed Italian barber
speaks to him, and will meet his waiter on terms
of ality.
SA. FRANCISCO Chronicle: Gentlemen of
the j, n said lawyer in libel case the other
day. -dany man has been shot for a less
serious libel, and been acquitted afterward by a
jury OF his llow-countrymen."
LORD WoLsELEY is incorrectly credited with
inventing the camel corps. Lord Napier used
one in Scnde when Woseley was scarcely ous
of his cradle, and Napoleon Bonaparte had one
IN Egypt before Wolseley was born.
SIDNEY WooLLETT. the elocusionist, is said
to have memorized more than three hundr.
thousand verses of poetry. What is more re-
markable, his health has not been affected by
this wholesale absorption of rhymes and rhythms.
THE jewels recently made in Germany for the
Empress of Japan are said to consist of a diadem,
necklace and several bracelets. Her diadem
contains 600 diamonds. nine of which very
large The central stone weighs nine carrots and
is valued at %, 600 francs. k-
ALEXANDER III. of Russia. permits none of
the familiarities from his courters which were
tolerated by his father. The murdered Gear
was frequently kissed by an aid-deeamp from
the wrist up to the shoulder, in humble appre-
citation OF kind sentence or TWO.
A HUNGARIAN band that was to play before
the Gear at St Petersburg had novel expe-
rience Each horn was taken to pieces and
searched for bombs. and even the catgut of thu
indies was mtnuteiy examined before the play
ers were allowed to appear before the EN-
peror.
THEY tell in Buffalo of faithful workman
engaged in dangerous work, who injured his
hand very severely. AS the surgeon was attend
ing to him the foreman hurried in and said:
Sam. what time was it when you got hurt?'
About o'clock. Why do you askl" So may
know when to dock you"
SENAToR MORRILL,, of Vermont. will be sew
enty-eight years old on Thursday next, and he
proposes to forestall the custom of his wife and
friends of giving him a surprise festival by in
viting them to spend that evening with him. The
Senator appears to be in good health, and to
have entirely recovered from his indisposition
of last winter.
MANAGER of a New Jersey opera house-We
are going to give entertainment tomorrow
evening Mr.. Sawlog. and we want a load OF
sawdust for the floor. Mr.. Sawlog-What do
you expect to pay for it? Manager will say
IN the programme that the sawdust used on this
occasion is from the celebrated saw-mill Of
Messrs. Sawlog & Co.
A FLOCK of wild geese flying over Waterbury.
Conn.,. on Tuesday, saw one of the kites which
the Waterbury boys were flying. This particu-
lar kite was up very high, and the geese objected
to it. They circled about it two three times,
and then four of their number seemingly dele
gated for the purpose. attacked the kite and tore
1t into shreds. and then went on their way.
THE Interstate-commerce Commissioners vary
in height from the gigantic Walker, who is much
over six feet in height. to Judge Cooley, who
is only about five feet six. Commissioner Bragg
is the typical Southerner. In his dress he evil
IDENTIFY takes Attorney general Garland for a
model. Commissioner SHOEMAKER looks like
| conservative bus..ess man. His features much
! resemble Blaines.
| W AsHINGToN Critic: A little Sixteenth street
| girl was interviewing the preacher. Amt God
I, goodl' she asked, earnestly. ''Of course he is,
my child" said the pastor. '.And it isn't wrong
to say so. is it2v she continued Certainly not
| That's what told mamma" why, my child"
| said the pastor, in amazement. 'your mamma
did not say he was not good. did she2" mo. sir,
| not exactly; but at breakfast this morning, when
| papa took mouthful of coffee he said, good
| God, and mamma told him there was 10 use in
| swearing. even if the coffee wasn't the best in
| the world"
JOHN T. RAYMOND was fond of a practic.
joke but once, at least, he the victim of The
sort of wit to which he WAS so prone This was
on the occasion Of his farewell benefit after his
long season with Colonel Sellers in New York.
/ The jury for that night only was compo sod of
| his friends from the Lotos Club Instead of the
usual verdict of 'Not guilty." these Lotos- eaters
| declared Colonel Sellers Guilty" There was
/ pause-a dead silence, then Of laughter
from the audience Tho play came to a full
stop, but Raymond recovered his self
| possession. He saw that it would be useless to
poll that jury and so he exclaimed: II move,
| your Honor that the jury be allowed to retire
for consultation and in this illegal manner the
| play came to an end.