The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1887-03-19
THE HTlNOROTS PRESS.

AFTER the sleeveless bodice will come
the skirtless skirt, and then-Lord de-
liver us..-Minneapolis Tribune.
DNER-"Waiter. see you have got
turtlesoup Oh the menu. Is it mock
turtle?" Waiter-"No sir, mud d."-Ex.
| change.
SUNDAY School Teacher-"Now, chill
dren, what happened on Christmas;
can't you remember 2" Wee scholar
| lin great delight)-w showed"
"TAKE her all around" says
| writer, "she is the best product OF her
sex" Yes, but did that writer ever
think of the expense OF taking her all
| around New Haven News.
WASN'T it little strange that when
Senor Saliva, the chief engineer OF the
City OF Mexico, visited Boston to in
spect the sewerage system, they took
him to the state-house first It'd
Bits.
INsTRUoToR-That's hardly the posi-
tion OF a soldier. Do you know any
thing about drilling? Recruit (conf.
IDENTIFY )-Oh, yes. It's marked down
to 8 cents yard, double width
TiS-Bits.
HE-"You don't sing or play?
Then presume you write or paint ?''
She-"Oh, no; Pm like the young men
| we meet in society," simply sit
| around and try to look intelligent. -
Harper'S Bazaar.
HE-Olga, let us forget our little
quarrel OF yesterday. She here ! have
bought you a small bracelet. She
Monsieur, after your rude behavior
yesterday / expected something more
substantial.-Charivari.
HEARD in society: He-I beg your
pardon, miss, but Idon't admire your
last name. She-Great heavens, man,
haven't done everything in my pow
er to change it? Must / knock man
down with club Washington
Critic.
New CUsToMER-Is that your dog?
Hairdresser-Yes, sir. New Customer
He seems very fond OF watching you
cut hair. Hairdresser-Itsh not that,
shir. Sometimes / make mistake
and take little piece off shentleman's
ear-!!i
"Has the cookery book any pic
tures?" asked young lady of book
seller. "Not one," replied the dealer
in books. "Why," exclaimed the witty
girl, "what is the use OF telling us how
to serve a dinner if you give us no
plates?"
INTELLIGENT Appreciation-Boston
Girl-:'Tell me, my friend, do you ad-
mire Hawthorn ?" New York Girl
"Oh, my yes l think it is great
When We were at Saratoga used to
drink two big glasses of it every morn
ing before breakfast ."-LoweN Citizen.
"NO woman can make fool of me-"
remarked a young man who had sig
nally failed in doing that same for
smart Dupont Circle girl. ''Well, hard
ly," she replied, "seeing that nature
has anticipated such action on the
part of any of our sex. "-WashingtoD
Critic.
A SMOKER presents his open cigar
case to his neighbor on his right.
Thanks, don't smoke" He then
turns to his neighbor on the left. 81
don't smoke; much obliged" His wife
whispers in his ear, care you going to
offer one to the captain?" "No, love,
he smokes-I know he does!"
CHILD at Washington-"Whoa are all
those men lounging around outside
the Capitol?" Parent-"They are
United States Senators, my child"
care there any more senator's besides
them ?" ''Only one." where is he 2"
'He is inside making q speech. -
Omaha World.
A YOUNG author brings C. manager
play in FIVE acts and in verse. "Your
play pleases me well enough" says
the manager, when he had read it;
"but unfortunately it is verse, and in
Our theatre" The author (smil-
ing)-"Ah, monsieur, with artists
such as yours, be assured no one will
perceive that it is in verse;"
AN American has bought the land
over the famous "blue grotto" of
Capri, and claims that the curiosity
belongs to him. A lawsuit has en-
sued, and if he wins he can close up
the cave, while if he loses his suit he
can make a hole through the ceiling
and destroy the peculiar effect of the
| lioht