The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1887-03-12
Select Story.
MR.. TVBTLErON'S TYPEWRITER.

From the CornhM Magazine.
Several strange things have happened to
me in my life that my friends could never
account for. They could never understand
how I got an introduction to Twistleton,
@. c., nor why that learned gentleman,
after allowing me to devil his work for him
for ten years without putting anything in
my way, suddenly used every effort and in
Auence he was capable of to put an impor-
tant and valuable junior practice in my
hands.
Twistleton, @. c., was a hard, selfish
man. In person he was like badly dried
moth, whose long, old-fashioned whiskers
resembled the remains of wings. 1t was
of him that it was originally said that he
was the living representative of tenant in
tail after possibility of issue extinct; and
there was consequently great surprise when
Twistleton married Lucy Travers, who, as
you will remember, was the belle of her
season. But the Travers were not so well
off as they pretended to be, and Twistleton,
as we all know, made his fifteen thousand a
year, and had, if anything, an ever-increas-
ing practice in the Chancery Division.
Twistleton was undoubtedly great law
yer and man of great common sense, but
he had two fads. He was believer in
ghosts and he wrote everything in his
chambers upon typewriter.
Twistleton and his wife were staying one
June in Norfolk, at Lady Barndore's.
Twistleton was due in town to argue the
great patent case concerning sewing ma
chimes of Buncombe and another against
Badger, in the Court of Appeal, on We'd
nesday morning. l expected him back in
chambers on the Monday evening, under
standing that he intended rejoining his wife
at tho end of the week; for this case would
last at least three days, and Twistleton was
in several other cases on the list.
About o'clock on Monday evening, l
had dined early at my club, and was en-
gagged noting up Twistleton's papers, when
he came in, with his Gladstone bag and rug,
looking. as l thought tired and out of
spirits When Twistleton was in town b
himself he always slept at his own cham
bers, as in the old days before he was mar
ried, and his breakfast Ga chop and two
eggs) was sent from the ''Cock"
TWistletop, having heard what Foss, his
clerk, had to say on the subject Of retain
ers. dismissed him. Then he slammed
down the windows, which had opened to
let in what fresh air there was in Old
Square, carefully closed the door, let him
self into the hard chair in front of his wri-
ting table, and idly leaned over the papers
which were before him. At length the
outer door was heard to close; Foss had de-
parted, and Twistleton broke silence.
"Penrose, my dear fellow, I'm uncom-
Portable"
Twistleton, may here remark, was al
ways on the best of terms with me, and
treated me as friend, for l believe | was
useful to him. l had made great way in
his affections by solemnly advising him to
marry Miss Travers when l saw he was
bent on doing SO; but, since his marriage.
am not sure that this course Of conduct
of mine had been altogether to my advan-
tage. I looked to him for further ex-
PLANTATION, which l saw was coming.
"Penrose, my dear fellow, who do you
think is at Lady Barndores?"
l shook my head, being entirely in igno-
rance.
''Charley Colston," replied Twistleton,
trying to carve his whiskers with the paper
knife. aCharley Cplstop."
Poor Charley Oolston! 1t was well
known that he had paid his addresses to
pretty Mrs. Twistleton in former days, and
report said she had encouraged them. No
wonder Twistleton was excited. l knew
him to be of an extremely jealous nature.
sNow mark me, Penrose," said Twistle-
ton, shaking his forefnger at me as he
would at Lord Usher in the Appeal Court
-ewhat took place yesterday when l was
playing tennis? The whole time, Sir, he
and she were talking and chatting together,
and laughing-yes, laughing Perhaps at
my play, for played abominably; know
it, could not bear to see tEem."
Twistleton's tennis was never first rate.
He had begun to play too late in life. He
was an annoying partner, as he always in
sisted on leading, taking all the difficult
strokes, and failing at them. He was a
still more Objectionable opponent, as he was
always taking technical objections on points
of practice. Still, however badly one plays,
it is not pleasant to be laughed at, even by
ones wife. tried to soothe Twistleton,
but he interrupted me.
s'Now, there is another point | desire to
urge" Twistleton always spoke as though
he was addressing the Court Of Appeal.
'sWhen l asked my wife to come back to-
day, she point blank refused. What do
you think of that ?"
s'Nothing whatever" answered. "She
had arranged to stay, and you are going
down on Saturday again. L think you are
making mountains out Of molehills."
II hope | am, Penrose; hope l am, p"
replied Twistletown mournfully; shut you
didn't see them-I did," and Twistleton
sighed deeply.
Then the subject dropped, and we got to
work on small ease. Soon, Twistleton,
with self-complacent smile on his counte-
nance, was playing an opinion on his type
writer 1t was to him, | believe, as though
each note he struck produced deep mel
low tone, and not capital or small Roman.
1 can remember when Twistleton first had
his typewriter. In those days he used to
sit at it for hours, practicing; hitting first
one note and then the other, at intervals
varying between ten seconds and two or
three minutes, every now then using the
most horrible language, as he put capital
for small Roman or missed space. Then
his efforts looked as though they were the
productions of six drunken printers who
had each taken an absent comrades work
for the day; and they were always copied
before they went to clients. Now the ma