Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1887-09-14

of fall fairs fall foul OF each other A.,
Philadelphia News. =.
you've got the drop on me" as
the paper said to the ink blot tic
Charlestown Enterprise VIC
Yes. my boy. you may fight with nj
the little brown jug. but you can new Or
er liquor.-Duluth Paragrapher. pu
Woman's sphere, since bustles be- - -.
gan to come into fashion, has been NJ
greatly enlarged Peoria Transcript. :.
"Berty" wants to know how he can fo
retain the love of his sweetheart, Eliz- 6y
abeth. Eternal vigilance is the price ci,
of Lib, Berty.-Ex. ou
An exchange asks innocently W W
"What is the first thing raised in the "
springp Experience answers sadly, Oh
"Rent l"-N. Y. Star. sil
"Why do you call him pie ?" "Be- q,
cause l like him." "But you say that h;
he distresses you awfully." $50 does n
pie."-Boston Transcript. -,
Chicago consumes 10000 pies every pr
day for breakfast. This is the only of
kind of "early piety" known in that fir
city.-Burlington Free Press. &C
Sam Jones told the Baltimore peo- W
pie that they were "silly crowd" H.
and they paid him $3.50 night and p.
proved the statement true.-Hartford nj
Post. w
-------------- Il,
1.-TWO knots an hour isn't such bad 49,
time for a clergyman" smilingly said h,
the minister to himself Just after he 70
had united the second couple.-Mer. Of
chant Traveller. ~,
1t is said that the cowboys of Texas W.
all voted for prohibition. They are II
probably tired of shooting men for tn
refusing to drink with them.-San tn
Francisco Alta. be
There is musical revival in pro- :"
gress in the country. All classes and
conditions are taking lessons. Even :,
choir singers are learning to sing :"
Boston Transcript. ~
--------- fir
Uncle Jobn-wby, my girl, you've fo
grown like cucumber vine! What ar
progress are you making towards NJ
matrimony' Clara--Well, Uncle, W,
I'm on my fifth lap.-New Haven tn
News. N
Midnight burglar (sternly)-"Give tn
me your watchw Humorous Mr.. I,
Poggs-"Certainly. sir. There you be
are; it's Waterbury, Burglar (re- lie,
coiling)-"Great heavens. man! do at
YOU take me for an organ grinder '"- en-
The Colonel. Il
"Stay. jailer, stay; / am not mad" y" u,
commenced the amateur elocutionist -
to an audience of which Mr. Origins vi
was one. u"
"No. B'gosh, We amt got no cause
to be. Us fellers out here is the ones" Nv
Washington Critic "a
Blobson (to Popinjay, in carriage) t;c
Well, I declare you have come ~,
out with gray hairs in your beard k;l
since I saw you last. oh
Popinjay-Don't doubt it. I've N,
been waiting for my wife to come out 90,
Of this dry goods store.-Burlington .n
Free Press. sh
Facetious customer-I don't think ce,
you ought to charge full price for be-
head like mine ought to reduce he
about half. Sh
Barber-No, sab. Couldn't afford. col
yo' see. Hits offset on account Of re-,
having to hunt for de heyar to cut in,
Harper's Bazaar. Gel
Little Dot-Can't have some more n'
cakei Is only had free pieces. a"
Omaha mamma--Three pieces pr
Gracious, no.
But that cake won't hurt me. You OF
said it was angel cake. Angels eat it an
don't they al
No, dear, it is not called angel cake an
because angels eat it. an
Then why? ev
Because little girls who eat too II
much of it become angels-Omaha on
World. tul
Robinson-I had to discharge young .n'
Blinkins to-day. He was not honest. na
Brown-Sorry to hear so. He sup Ju'
ports his widowed mother, too. What N'
was the troublei o"'
Robinson--He found a postage 'e'
stamp on the floor and kept it. He Po
should have turned it over to the of. -
fee. &c
Of course. BY the way it's raining. 10
Got an extra umbrella. a"
Robinson-You can take my old Po
one. / have new one.
Brown-Hello! Where did you
get that silk affair "o
Robinson-That Ha ha Great
joke. You see, ] went into the Stock
Exchange to look after little deal of