The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-19
BRIGHT BITS.

They put tacks in a carpet to keep il down.
but they put tax on tobacco to keep it up.
Strange, isn't it?Yonkers Statesman.
THE man who has an expensive health-lift
fitted up in his bedroom seldom gets up muscle
enough to bring up the family coal Wakefield
Citizen and Banner.
SCIENTISTS say that the savage has a more
acute sense of smell than civilized people
When two savages get together how they must
suffer.-Boston Transcript.
THE Alta California, of San Francisco, says
that the future Mrs. Senator Hawley has red
head. That settles Joseph. No red headed girl
and dark horse 60 together.-NeU York World
Now that NJ Wilson, son-in-law Of President
Grevy, has officially left the Elyses, all fears
that he would pawn that palace and escape
with the proceeds have been allayed.-NeU York
World
CoUNTRYMAN lin gallery of Stock Exchange
TO wholesome O them seats down their, Marian,
cost bout $4,000 apiece.
Wife-Nercy me! Why don't they set down
on EN-, thens-NeU York Sun.
JEEMs (high muck a muck to H. R, H 1.-Two
H'merican gents houtside, you Royl Ighness
H. r. H.-Names. JeemS?
,Jeems-Mr. Gould an Mr.. Sullivan.
H. r. H.-Tell Mr. Gould that I've gone to the
Highlands and show Mr.. Sullivan .in.-Nel0
York Sun.
AT THE Zoo.--The keeper gave the lion large
piece of meat
Keeper-He gets it regularly twice day.
Poet with clasped hanGsl-What a boon it
would be if could only get a position as lion
here.-FfODe the German.
A SHARP TRAVELLER. Train Robber ION Texas
eXpressl-Shell out now, quick.
Passenger-All my money is in this satchel.
Open it."
Look
An in silver dollars! Keep it, We amt no
draymen. Omaha World.
MARRIED or unmarried?" aaked the Judge of
a female witness.
Unmarried just few minutes ago." was the
reply.
"A few minutes ago? What do you mean?
Just what | say. Got my divorce papers,
That unmarried me ~ PittSbtug Dispatch.
FRANKLIN said the professor, who was
about to introduce Prof. Morse to the alumni of
a Western college" Franklin drew the light
ming from heaven and controlled its power to
harm, but it was left to Prof. Morse gentlemen
to-,puzzled TO know exactly what he should
say(-it'was left to Prof. Morse. gentlemen, to
reduce it to a horizontal position. "-HdrtfOrd
Post.
JOHN RADCLIFFE. the well-known English
tiutist, was recently visiting a country town.
where he met quaint old woman who was gaz
lag intently at a cheap print representing the
Virgin, with st. Elizabeth on the one hand and
St. Joseph on the other, and the inscription
Ave Maria" underneath "Of course. you un-
derstand that?' asked Radcliffe, seeing the old
lady appeared puzzled.
20, yes" was the reply, Il know all about
that. The man is axing the CONAN in the mid
die will he ave her, and she is saving as how
bein' married 'erself, she can't, but won't he
ave Maria"
THE TELEPHONE CAT
Though most of the cats on the back yard fence
Belong to the SELF same choir,
And faithfully call and caterwaul,
Maria Maria Maria.'
There's one that shouts above all the rest,
At any hour that suits him best,
In strangely human, familiar tone,
AS il he called through a telephone,
Hello: Hello! Hellol''
His voice we have learned to know:
And whenever we hear it we say: That's that
Detestable nuisance-the telephone cat!''
Hdrper'S Bazaar.