Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-02-09
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NYE AMONG THE MOONSHINERS.

'1fSS NehfR e enRohfaA nghhN oS KS Isis "a 4Hh
AsHEvILLk, N. c., January 13.-Last
week I went out into the mountains for the
purpose of securing holly tree with red
berries on it for Yuletide. had noticed
in all my pictures of Christmas festivities
in England that the Holly, with red cram
berries on it, constituted the background OF
Yuletide. A Yuletide in England without
holly bough and a little mistletoe in it
wouldn't be worth half-price. Here these
vegetables grow in the greatest profusion,
owing to the equable climate, and so the
holly tree is within the reach OF all.
l resolved to secure one personally, so
I sped away into the mountains, where,
in less than the time it takes to tell it, l
had succeeded in finding a holly tree and
losing myself. 1t is a very solemn sem
sation to feel that you are lost, and that be-
fore you can be found something is liable to
happen to the universe.
| wandered aimessly about for half an
hour, hoping that / would be missed in
society and some one would be sent to
search for me. 1 was just about to give up
in despair and sink down upon bed of
moss with the idea of shuffling off six or
seven feet of this mortal coil, when, a few
rods away, I saw blue smoke issuing from
the side of the mountain and rising toward
the sky. ! went rapidly toward it and
found it to be a plain dug out with dirt
tioora entered and cast myself on rude
nail keg, allowing my feet to remain sus-
pended at the lower end of my legs, an at
titude which I frequently affect when ia
| tigued.
The place was not occupied at the, time
entered, though there was fire and things
| - 4 xl@ hnf M
! long absent. 1t seemed to me kind OF lab
oratory, for could see here and there the
ear-marks of the chemist. I feared at first
that it was bomb factory, but as could
not see any Of these implements in perfect
ed state decided that lit was safe and wait
! ed for the owner to arrive.
After some time heard low, gutteral
footstep approaching up the hill. | went
to the door and exclaimed to the proprietor
as he came, merry Chistmas, colonel"
"Merry Christmas be =" said he in
the same bantering tone: "What in three
dashes, two hyphens and an astonisher do
YOU want here, you double dashed and
double blanketed blank and return !"
The wording here is my own, but it gives
YOU an idea of how the conversation was
drifting. You can see by his manner that
literary people are not alone in being sur
~, irritable and unreasonable.
/ So I humored him and spoke kindly to
him and smoothed down his ruff1ed plum
age with my gay bandinage, for he wore
a shawl and you can never tell whether
man wearing shawl is armed or not
/ noticed that he was man about me-
dium height, with clear cut features and
retreating brisket. His hair was dark and
hung in great waves, which seemed to have
caught the sunlight and retained it together
with great many other atmospheric phe-
| nOmena. He wore straw hat such AS
once saw Horace Greedy catch grasshopers
in, on the banks of the Kinnickinnick, just
before he caught a small trout.
I spent some time with him watching
him as he made his various experiments.
Finally he showed me new beverage that
he had been engaged in perfecting. 1t was
enclosed in a dark brown stone receptacle,
and was held in place by a common corn
cob stopper. l took some Of it in order to
show that I contided in him. do not re-
member anything else distinctly. The
| fumes of this drink went at once to my
brain, where it had what might be termed
a complete walkover.
now have no hesitation in saying that
the fluid must have been alcoholic in ma
ture, for when regained my consciousness
I was extremely elsewhere. [ found my
self on road which seemed to lead in two
opposite directions, and my mind was very
much confused. l hardly know how l got
home, but l finally did get there, accom-
panied by a strong leaning toward prohlbi-
ton. A few days later / received the fol-
lowing letter:
SIR-I at first thought when I saw you at
my laboratory the other day that you was a
low, inquisitive cuss, and so spoke to you
in harsh tones and reproached you and up
braided you by calling you everything |
could lay my tongue to, but since then L
have concluded that you don't know any
better.
You said to me that you found my place
by seeing the smoke coming out of my
chimney ; that has given me an idea that
you might know something about what's
called a smoke consumer, of which I have
heard. 1 am doing a fair business, but 1
am good deal pestered, as you might say,
by people who come on me when don't
want to mingle in society. A man in the
chemist business cannot succeed if he is
all the time being interrupted by Tom,
Dick and Harry coming in on him when
he is in the middle of an experiment.
l am engaged in making remedy for
which there is gread demand, but its man.
ufacture is regarded with suspicion by
United States officials who want to be con-
sdered Jealous. Rather than be drawn
lntO any ulIllCulGy Will ClIeSe peOple, I'D VIC
always courted retirement and avoided the
busy haunts of men. Still, some strolling
idiot or other will occasionally see the
smoke from my little home and drop in
on me.
Could you find out about this smoke
consumer and see what the price would be,
and let me know us soon as possible?
If you do can he of great service to you.
Leave the letter under the big stone where
you found yourself on the day you came
out of your trance. call it trance because
this letter might fall into the hands of your
family. If you will find out about the
smoke consumer and leave the information
where told you, you will find on the fol-
lowing day large jug of mountain dew
in the same place, that will make your
hair grow and give roseate hue to your
otherwise gloomy life.
DO not try to come here again. 1t might
compromise me. A man in your position
may not have anything to risk, but with
ne it is different My unsulied reputation
is all that | have to hequeath to my chill
dren. If YOU come often there will not be
enough left to go around, as / have large
family.
If you hear of anybody that wants to
trade good double barrel shotgun for Il
small portable worm and retort that is too
small for my business, | can give him a
good trade on it if he will let you know.
This is good machine for experimental
purposes, and being no longer than Bah
cock fire extinguisher it can be readily con-
veyed to place of safety at a very rapid
rate.
You might say to your friends that we
shall try in the future as we have in the