St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-05-31
A WOMAN'S UMBRELLA.
The Careless Style in Which a
Woman and an Umbrella FlOated
Down Third Street.

Woman and an Umbrella FlOated
Down Third Street.
The rain that dampened the graves of
the honored dead yesterday was the
cause of considerable excitement on
Third street. About $50 p. M, a woman
about five feet four inches high, with
broad shoulders, short yellow hair and
fOur-foOt stride opened a large UNI
brella on the corner of Cedar and Third
streets, and placing it squarely before
her, set sail at a twelve-knOt pace for
the union depot.
She moved down the street something
like horrible dream. land the crowd who
saw her coming parted in the middle
and let her sail through. She fixed her
eyes firmly on the ground and plowed
along as unconcernedly as though she
was trayersing the Sahara desert
against time.
About the time she was making her
best showing DR.. w. w. Day, the dap
per little vice president of the st. Paul
Pharmaceutical and Speciality company,
stood on the corner of Third and Min
neSOta streets looking up in the air to
see If there were any probabilities of
hail storm. The nightmare swept on
and her umbrella made close connection
with the DOCTORS tall hat and sent it roll
ing in the gutter.
Hang that cow" muttered the doc
tor, as he played tag with his hat down
in the direction of catchbasin, Il wish
every woman who raises an umbrella on
the street would be fined $1,000. They
can't carry an umbrella any better than
they can stone a cat"
The doctor wiped the mud off his hat
and the woman sailed on.
Down in front of Boston clothing
store stood Bill Erwin. the great crimi-
nal lawyer, telling Senator Davis how
he pulled the wool over the eyes of that
''up country jury. He didn't notice
the approach of the catapult until the
tip of the umbrella stick caught,him juSt
below the floating rib.
by the gOds!" yelled the surprised
attorney, hath all the hosts of the Plu-
needle-pointed aSSigais. Avaunt, foul
tOrmentorS of human kind, and seek thy
victims among the ruSheS of the Nile"
BY this time ''Bill'' hadSleWed around
and found q woman endeavOring to dis
entangle an umbrella from the lining of
his coat.
Fair one," SAID William, ''allow me
to assist you. Let those wild mutterings
of mine that rent the air few moments
ago have no weight upon thy tender
mind. / didn't know you were here"
''Oh, give us er rest" replied the
woman, and adjusting her umbrella like
locomotive cOw-catcher, she once more
headed for the union depot. She swept
on with majestic sweep.
Just below the Merchants hotel r. L.
FlOurnoy, the 300-pOund lumber agent
of the Chicago, st. Paul, Minneapolis 81
Omaha road, was working his way up
the sidewalk. He was at peace with all
the world and no suspicion of i'm
pending danger in his mind, his
head was bowed down and
he was revolving in his mind the new
schedule of lumber rates: Suddenly
there was wild rush of air, dull,
his stomach and Keeling up against the
side of the building, Flournoy yelled:
my God! What was that?"
BY this time the woman was crossing
Sibley street, and succeeded in picking
a bOot-black off the railing near p. II.
Kelly'S store with one of the steel
points of her umbrella. just as she
turned the corner near the depot hack
driver with his back to her bent over to
pick up his whip. When he got out
of the gutter and had recovered his hat
and some small pieces of bric-a-brac
that he carried in his pocket, he said to
another hack driver:
THAT'S Their first fit ever had, Pete.
/ guess Their blood must hev rushed to
my head when l bent over"
The woman climbed OH the train, and
one could tell from the contented look
on her face that she was out for prac-
tice spin and nothing more.