The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-05-21
HUMOROUS.



A Paradox.
The bachelors lot is lonely and sad,
Poor mani
dc hasn't wife TO make his heart glad,
He doesn't know how he'd be blessed # he
had.
lie conceive what he has lost,
lie thinks be has only escaped "being
Poor mani
O, the bachelors heart is sorry and sore,
Indeed
! He knows he can never know Joy any
more,
And he looks upon life as terrible bore,
Agreed
With the croaker that life doesn't pay,
And TO all thoughtiess lovers impatient TO
"Take hecd!'
Yes, the bachelors lot Is desolate one
And yet
There are girls who think it would really
be fun
To snare il with him, after alls said and
done;
All his miseries many, and pleasures SO
few
know lots of girls who would do it,
don't your
You betl
FL Somerville Journal
"How are we going to give the base
ball umpire his just deserts?" asks an
exchange. We can't say. 1t Is against
the law to hang man more than
once, we believe.-Ee,o York Mail.
"Fellow slaves" began an orator mt
labor meeting in Buffalo, and then
he stopped. "Go ahead" cried a
voice in the audience; "most of us
are married. - burlington Free Press.
A dashing young damsel from Me-,
With face most uncommonly Pie,
Had such cute little Ft.,
That when seen on the ST.,
Young "Cholly" was driven Inse
Irate Old Gentleman-M Mary, what
was that noise / heard in the kitchen?
Mary Faithl an little Oi know, un-
less yez heard Mixes countenanco
drop when Oh refused him kiS at
partin'.
Young wife--I took great pains
with that cucumber salad, John, and
hope you enjoyed IL. Husband (anx-
iously) I'm afraid, my dear, that
took great pains with 1t, too.-Neso
York Sun
He Cat dinner)- May assist you TO
the cheese, Miss Vassarl Miss Vassar
, Gust graduated Thanks, SAp / am
very comfortable where | am. But
you may assist the cheese to me, il
you will. Puck.
Twas few hours ago down in Me-,
That kissed young angel named Jo.
IL she whispered retire,
Twas too low 60 be pie,
SO did SO age. and age.
Life,
"Mother, have got any children"
asked little Johnny Fizzletop. "Why,
no, child; what put that in your
headg" III read In the Bible about
children's children. That's what put
IL in my head. -7'erds SJftinqs.
"Arrah, thin, Mrs. Divins, will yez
go to the circus wild select party this
dayy "Faith, thin, Mrs. Moriarty,
minny thanks, but | expict a little
circus of my own. This is the ould
mans day for gettin' dhrunk" Life.
doctor" said the sick man, "the
other physicians who have been in
consultation over my case seem To
differ with you in the diagnosis" III
know they do replied the doctor, who
has great confidence in himself, "but
the autopsy will show who was.right."
---Netc York sun.
IL was Boston woman who refused
TO buy some sugar-cured hams the
other day on the ground that she never
bought anything that had been dis
eased. "For you know" she said,
''that even IL IL has been cured some
hidden germs Of disease may still
linger in it."--NeIc York Tribune.
Brakeman-But don't you think
that $3.50 a day is rather small pay
for eighteen hours work on the top OF
freight carr superintendent |
you forget that we charge nothing for
travelling. Let's see; you ride some
thing like 200 miles daily, and IL
doesn't cost you a cent ~ Boston Tran
script.