, 1887-11-23
TRIALS OF PHYSICIANS.
A Doctor Talks of the Difficulties En-
countered in Practicing Medicine.

A Doctor Talks of the Difficulties En-
countered in Practicing Medicine.
''The first five years are the darkest in
a young DOCTORS life, - said a well known
physician. 1T does not matter how
nicely he is getting on, he is sure to have
built his expectations too high. A medi-
cal man always thinks he is doing better
than he is. Leaving the simon pure
charity cases out of the question alto
gether, l nave always thought myself
lucky if l collected one-half of my ac-
counts. While a reputable doctor looks
upon advertising in a general way as
something tabooed, many of us, 1 doubt
not, in our young days ave resorted to
driving rapidly through various streets
In the middle of the day. 1 never knew
this little scheme to hang fire, and by the
time | got back to the office 1 frequently
found W. or three calls on the slate.
Gan officious friend of NINE, Z" contin-
ued the doctor, ''once advised me to set
tie in the country, where the competition
wasn't SO great. In six months 1 came
near starving to death. The place was
SO sparsely peopled and the patients so
far apart that my time and clothes were
worth more h my fees. BY selling
my library l managed to buy a horse and
buggy, and GO to work on the co-opera-
tive plan. l divided the county off into
four districts, each of which L visited
once a week. My method was to keep a
family in thorough repair for a stipulated
sum per month. Nearly all the inhabi-
tants became subscribers, and 1 might
have thrived well IN my little monopoly
if another smart doctor hadn't stepped in
and reduced the rate. L returned to the
city, there settled down and married, and
after having had a couple of well known
men die on my hands, 1 found myself ia
nous and in possession of a lucrative
practice.
"No, L don't think there is as much
bleeding of patients as is commonly sup
posed. OF course human nature ia the
same in q doctor as in any one else. He
is always number one, and the patient
number two. There are some people
whom you have got to keep on the sick
list all the time. They would not be
happy unless they could tell their friends
all about the torpidity of their liver and
the unsoundness of their lungs. A doctor
must humor such patients, and assure
them they are really ill whenever they
take a fancy to being SO. This is q kind
of bleeding that will never stop SO long as
there are such people in the world. The
old doctor studied under used to tell q
good story at his W expense. In his
early days of struggle q friend twitted
him upon taking SO long to cure a patient.
Why, man. replied the old doctor, Il
have SO few patients that 1 can't afford to
cure any of Them
Speaking of quacks," continued the
doctor after a pause, "you would be sur
prised what a strong hold the empirical
fraternity has t1npn narra,,a -1a,1o
They are easily convinced that there is
something awful the matter with them.
An aggravated case of this kind recently
came under my notice. A man, whose
business often called him from home for
months at a time, rushed wildly into my
office O. day and begged me t o visit his
wife. He said that if l couldn't get her
out OF her megrims he would either nave
to procure a divorce or commit suicide.
1t seemed that the woman during one of
her ~usband' periodical absences, fell
into the clutches of a female lecturer,
who bled her for all she was worth.
When the husband returned he found her
the shadow of her former self. She was
melancholy and peevish, and was slowly
wearing herself away. The whole house
was turned into an apothecary shop, and
the woman herself was a walking adver-
tisement of the empires wares. At
night she made herself hideous by wear
ing a complexion mask and medicated
gloves that made her hands look like
sugar cured hams. There was scarcely
an inch of her whole body that was as
nature made it. When 1 examined her
she had on a liver pad, two lung pads, q
porous plaster for a weak back, another
for a weak stomach (for the sake of
symmetry, l suppose), belts and bands on
arms and legs to prevent varicose veins,
night boots to keep the feet warm, and
magnetic clothing wherever there was
room for it. The bed itself was fearfully
and wonderfully made, with all patent
appliances. 1 felt very sorry for the hus.
band, who seemed to think a great deal
of his wife. He was very patient with her,
although more than once he confessed
it was hard for a man to love, cherish
and protect a woman who logged herself
out in such a fashion. it was a hard
case to treat, but we finally conquered"
New York Evening Sun.