Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1887-06-17
a NEW DICTIONARY.
An Amori can Dictionary by an American
for Americans.
Bob Burdetse In Brooklyn Eagle.

for Americans.
Bob Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle.
Author-A man who scissors the dis
lance tables out of railway guide, the
population of cities from the census, ar
article on "VolCanoes" from the encyclo-
pedia, the rules OF base bali from news.
paper almanac and publishes it under the
title of "Gems of Thought and Mines OF
knowledge" The term was formerly
applied 70 s person who wrote q book; in
this sense it is now obsolete.
Beauty Professionalism Advertising
Agency.
Congress-A benevolent association or
ganiZed for the purpose Of supporting the
Congressional Record and denying what
ever may be printed therein. See, also,
article on Natural Gas.
CritiC-See manager.
DIvorce-See Chicago.
Drouth-See prohibition.
Duel-A fashionable amusement, for
merly considered dangerous, but now
quite popular among the leisure classes
on account of its assured harmlessness.
1t is highly recommended by physicians
Tor all persons who are too weak to play
base ball.
Egg-A tribute of respect and admira-
ton. See Lecturer.
Fun-See Boys and Headache.
Gum CheWipg-A course of study at g
girls school. See also Caramel and Bed
head.
Horse-A com pliC8tiOn OF strange dis
eases that develop immediately after the
sale. See Taken In and Honest Farmer
Misrepresentation who always takes
the other side to show that he can't be
influenced.
Judge-A title Of honor applied to gen
tlemen who hold stop watches and have
the best seats at horse races; in civilized
communities sometimes applied to per-
sons who preside Ut the sessions of
courts of Justice.
Kicker-A man who never originates
anything or suggests anything and OPP
poses everything anyone else suggests.
See "Mule"
Lsdy-A female who takes in washing,
does kitchen work or waits on hotel
tables.
Maior-A citizen of Georgia.
Narcotic-See Sermon"
OniOn-A drug for strengthening the
breath; much used by confidential people
whom you cordially dislike, and who are
forever trying TO whisper to you some
thing which you do not want to know.
Professor-Any one except an in
structor in q college or university; US
uslIy horse tanner or dancing master,
sometimes 4 COrL doctor.
QuaIt-A unit Of measure applied to
the size of the hip pocket in Kansas; q
hssk which holds about enough for five
men in Boston, three in Ohio and one in
Arkansas.
Rider-In England a man VINO tries to
fall of q horse: il New York q man who
does fall off. See also 'Bounce" and
"Bouncer."
Talk-A singular sound produced by
opening vacuum; disease often fatal TO
presidential candidates, who are apt to
be attacked by it unless restrained by
their friends. See "Lockiaw."
Umbrella-A myth Of the nineteenth
century, piece Of portable property that
cauHCt be held in severalty, something
which you nave not, OF if you have it is
not yours that which cannot be kept.
See also "Thief."
Vonit7-The quality by which man is
enabled to lightly ascend the long stair
wsy TO the editorial room with poem.
Wrath-The quality that enables him to
90 down again in half the time.
Witness-The principal victim in any
criminal trial: one who is forbidden by
American law TO sgy what ne saw or re-
peat what be heard. See "Browbeat"
and Badger"
X-Someth;ng which we do not happen
to have about Us for couple of days.
Zodiac-A procession Of animals on the
cover If the almanac; the interior de-
partment on street parade; merely intro
duced into the language as part of 2
scheme TO enable the letter lizard to
make itself usefEl; huff zsf.
Ministers, lawyers teachers end others
whose occupation GGe5 little exercise,
should use Carter Little Liver Pills for
torpid liver aud bg3ohsDsss.
nj d