The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-08-04
JACKSON. OHIO. THURSDAY. AUGUST 4. 1887.
The Merry Side p!

The Merry Side
Democracy never dies-it only whitewashes.
Everything is athirst-even the creeks are
dry.
The latest labor movement-the Democratic
platform.
Democratic destiny-Jeff Davis for the past,
the Devil for the future.
aa*
Every man can enjoy fun-as long as the
laugh is on somebody else.
When a man reels about the streets, drunk,
he makes respect-for hogs.
The robin sings a sweet song-yet scarcely
worm is too nasty for him to eat
Adjutant-Gener Drum has been "eulogized," !"
by a Senator, of Georgia. Why not?
George Was hington is at last dead. He was
hung by q mob in Mississippi, last week.
A "leading" politician is generally like lead
mule-the wheel-horses do all the pulling.
Dan Dalton has been figuring some in poll
tics. Dan did some figuring last Fall, also.
They probably say Widows "weeds," because
they think she is green to remain widow.
Democratic endorsement falls on the past,
like the crystal frost kissing a rubbish-heap.
Cleveland will go TO st. Louis. The authori-
tiles have promised not to let the soldiers hurt
him.
Cleveland's western trip will recall old times
when the Buffalo calf wandered over the
plains.
circus without "wild west" attachment
would be as lost as pretty girl without hunk
of wax.
Politics are too often run by "gangs"-that's
the reason the platforms contain "gang-
planks."
Always measure others opinion of you by
your opinion of Others This will teach you
modesty.
"Our prospects were never brighter" say the
Democrats. That's so-they're about as bright
now as ever.
Friends, never try to swindle the poor street.
bad over robbing him.
The Democratic party of Ohio will stop try
ing to keep out of the Penitentiary long enough
to try to get into office.
Democrats affect to be hopeful, Republicans
are jubilant-and the Prohibitionists are max
ing Sharp campaign.
-
1t is whole-souled, tender hearted man, who
can look his grocer and butcher in the face and
say "I love thy weighs"
The brutal husband should remember that
love is like a beautiful bubble-it won't stand
many knocks on the head.
-.
Nature teaches humility in all things. The
finest flower that tosses its head aloft could not
exist without bed of dirt.
-.
There were two old stand-bys absent from
the Democratic Convention this year-"Re-
form" and "Sumptuary Law"
+.+
"It's almost enough to make one ashamed OF
his town, to see the greedy people walk up and
rob poor street man of his money.
-.
What the world is striving for is a religion
that will rob widow or child, and sing ''it is
well with my soul!" on the same day.
When the colt rears, and plunges, and runs
the old work-horse always looks wise, and
thinks. Boys are good deal like colts
+.+
A family in New York has been laughing for
several years, and can't quit They have been
worse since Cleveland became President.
Herr Krupp had sent thousands of men to
death, with his big guns-yet Death knocked
him out on a single round, a few days ago.
-
Ha! Cleveland is going toSt. Louis He
would have answered the second invitation
sooner, but he was waiting to pad himself.
Old man Payne is expected to uncork a bar
REL this year But the old man will handle the
faucet himself. He knows his surroundings.
Another of the Tolliver gang is in custody
They should preserve him as relic. Stuff
him! Any material will do-lead, for instance
The Mccoy trial developed the fact that you
may shoot a man in self-defence-and shoot
| him in the back. Gun barrel was bent, may
| be.
The Democratic party, on parade, presents
the appearance of fierce steed-with the
'.crupper' always higher than the "check
| rein."
The politician in the State Convention may
speak for "the Masses" but the masses, in the
back districts, may be laughing, at the same
| time.
If the Sandwich Islanders don't behave them
selves, some Yankee will go there with ten
dollar bill, fill up the treasury, and start new
| Kingdom.
A couple in Barnesv1lle, Ga, were married
last week, whose courtship was conducted dur
| ing the war. Another evidence that the John
nies won't forget the war.
| -
Those politicians who try to play upon thu
feelings of defeated candidates, should remem
Der tn at when you step on mans corns yor
are in danger of being hit.
80
A man in Illinois the other day jumped {
mile, out of balloon, by the aid of a parachute
and wasn't hurt. He didn't light half as hard
as Tom Powell will in November.
Two families in Greensburg, Indiana, were
poisoned by eating ice-cream. Girls, this is 6
warning. You don't want yor fellow to pay
half dollar for getting you killed.
Two colored men-George Evans and But
Harris, fought duel at two PAGES, in Louisiana
with douhle-barreled shot-guns loaded with
buciI-shot. The two guns were left.
"What are those men buying?" asked ont
citizen of another, when the street man wa
handing out jewelry.
They're buying experienced" was the truth
full reply.
Yes, the world is growing better. Mer
wouldn't eat the forbidden fruit now, as ole
Adam did. No, mol They'd Just cut the old tre
up into walking-stick and pitch rings at then
at ten cents dozen.
"The Gallipoiis Daily Sun lived six weeks anC
died. It started with well'equipped office /!
| a skating rink, and "busted" with sad bust.
-Ironton Register.