Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1887-11-03

Commodore Vanderbilt came there and
ate clam chowder only short time be
fore his death.
60 did l.
Chowder. however, Is made by shooting
two-year-old clans out Of a gun, and then
cooking them with other things until they
seem to loose their identity. 1t does not
hurt people who are used to it, but man
who has most always lived on canned
Lima beans ought to have his postofice
address and the address Of his favorite
undertaken in his pocket before be gives
himself up to the false joys Of clam
chowder.
After we had eaten our chowder We
went TO call on a friend, and | heard af-
terward that he said I was a very much
overestimated man. | can see now how
he came to form that opinion. | cannot
remember what | said while at his house,
but if l said anything that would do to
write in an autograph album | must have
done 50 mechanically.
l then went home, where | did not have
to be polite. l have often thought that
in referring to the joys Of home writers
and sculptors do not bear down hard
enough on the fact that we can be as
mean as we like around our own hearth
stone and play a. kind Of Jekyll-Hyde
business for years sometimes without be-
inc discovered. In the meantime our
wives are requested to always meet Us
with a smile and pair of warm slippers
so that werwill not become dissatisfied
with our home and 90 somewhere else to
do our drinking. l presume as many as
two or three men have been driven to
irretrievable ruin by this means.
The other man was ruined by eating
pudding sauce that had elderberry wine
in it. I went home because | was afraid
that among strangers the way was feel
ing l could not carry sunshine wherever
l went or be the life Of the party. So |
went home where nobody expected it.
Looking back over that long, dark af-
ternoon, I am proud to say that | did not
kick any of the children. No member
of my family can ever truthfully say that
I kicked him, even while under the infu-
ence Of clans. | sent for a physician
and requested that he would come as soon
as possible, not because l thought he
could save my life, but because | wanted
some one to lean upon and show my
tongue to.
He said l had collie | had more than
half suspected it all the time. He then
made himself unpopular at our house by
saying that he did not think | would die.
After that he wrote a brief editorial in a
foreign tongue and asked me if l had
any one I could send to the drug store
with it. said | was afraid not. Ny
butler had gone down to the glazier's TO
get one Of the family diamonds reset and
the footman was busy putting a new
handle on our crest, but as soon as | was
we'll enough l would 90 myself
I said this in a tone Of biting sarcasm
| for | have no butler and wouldn't know
how could keep him busy if l had one.
I've never seen the day yet when couldn't
do my own butlering and still have time
for my other work.
He then said he would send the pre-
scription himself if would tell him Of
some druggist whom felt that I could
trust. I said I felt that I could trust
most any druggist around here and hoped
they felt the same way toward me-
I took a great deal Of medicine that
night. but continued restless and clamOr
! Gus for some time. I suffered very much
and said things that were calculated tc
discourage the use Of cams in our midst.
| III not say that the clam for every ou'
Is absolutely indigestible, but 1 do say
that I cannot see why people can ca
clans and still hesitate about eating
pounded glass. Neither do I understand
why any one should buy clans on th'
half shell and then throw away the shell
Clans grow best in low, wet ground
and do not 20 out very much. They liv'
to a great age and their plumage + no
gaudy, even in the tropics. Many be
/ lieve the Juice Of the clam to be a goo
disinfectant for those who imagine the
see funny reptiles and polka-dOt insect
floating through the air, but I do no
know whether It i or not.
some say that cold clam Is a goo
thing to put on a boil have neve
tried this either, but have often though
that if 1 had large and restless boil
would ike to pat clam On It and the