The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-03-05
FATHERLY BILL NYE.
His Capacity WillMaker Evince4 by
Some Rema rkable Lcgacies.

| DE noted that he sets SHINING example
to other men of means by submitting in
| advance an outline of his proposed will
for the consideration of his heirs
My DEAR HENRY: This is dictated
letter. The thoughts are mine but the
penmanship is that of a man named
Beasley, who is doing the chores for us
this winter. My reason for hiring
private secretary is that last Tuesday
the strawberry blonde Shote slumped
through hole in the ice, and in striving
to rescue him from a watery grave L
fell and broke one of my legs, Just
above the fetlock.
Kind friends came from everywhere
to ask me if it hurt much, and in a
thousand different ways showed their
gentle desire to draw me into Il spirited
conversation. A doctor came down
from the Insanitarium to set the leg,
and tied his horse to little sugar
maple tree that l set out last spring.
When he puts in his bill for medical
attendance he will be surprised to find
an Offset of eighty cents for that tree.
may be slightly crippled, but you can
announce in your valuable paper that
there are no flies on me to speak of.
+ While spread out here with nothing
to do my mind has been quite active,
and have had drawn off for me the
following outlines of a will, which 1
send you inclosed herewith. please
read and return" as it says on the
| Bible rack on board the cars:
Know all men by these presents, that
|, the subscriber, being of a sound
mind and realizing that | am now
under the doctors care, and therefore
may be swept into eternity at any mo-
ment, do hereby make, execute and
publish this my last will and testament
firmly by these presents:
First-I hereby appoint my beloved
wife Henrietta to be my sole eXecutrix,
assignee and receiver of my entire
estate, with full powers to pay taxes
on said estate forever, and to have and
to hold the same SO long as grass grows
and water runs, together with such
other and further relief as the court
may adjudge.
Second-I hereby that the red
horse Napoleon be sold and the pro-
ceeds thereof used towards defraving
my funeral expenses provided that the
sum of twenty-five dollars thcrefrom
be set aside for the purpose of main
tanning Il large, aggressive bulldog,
whose duty it shall be to monkey O er
my lowly grave until my dust shall be
of no use to science. 1t is my desire
that my cXecutrix shall so maintain
said bulldog hereinbefore set forth in
order that pimply young medical stu
dents may not make too free with all
that is mortal of q superior nan. 1t is
my special desire that no part of my
economy shall contribute in any way to
science or to the amusement of class
of sore-eyed goslings, who can not get
near enough to live man to operate
on him.
| desire to state, also, that | hope
whatever may be odd or eccentric or
abnormal about my formation may be
generously allowed to pull oblivion over
itself and fade away. l do not wish to
be perpetuated in the form of fatty
tumor or osseous formation. Let my
good deeds be my only monument. Let
the post-mOrtem in my case be omitted
and the time taken up in some other
way.
request also that at my funeral the
free-list be suspended, and that those
only who have personal interest in the
proceedings be permitted to take part.
Persons who make the funeral industry
business or rely upon it as Il means of
| relaxation are requested to abstain from
my funeral rs Il personal favor to me-
l give and bequeath, make over and
present to my beloved wife Henriette,
all and singular, my real and personal
property aside from said horse Napoleon,
heretofore enumerated and set aside for
funeral purposes, to have and to hold
all said property during her lifetime,
and after that the said real and personal
property to pass to my beloved soa,
Henry, who is engaged in publishing u
paper at two dollars per year. To said
beloved son Henry | also bequeath
all my wardrobe. / have worn out
his old lawn-tennis and polo clothes
while he was attending college, using
his boating and baseball suits for under
clothing during the winter, and now that
/ am about to pass on leave my own
clothing to him us Il slight testimonial
of my appreciation for his kindness to
me when had no polo suit of my own
/ also direct that an obituary, consisting
of forty lines, relative to me, be printed
in my sons paper, eod6t, at ten cents
per line, to follow pure reading matter,
for which the sum of twenty-four dol
lars will be found in an cd sock in my
escritoire in the barn. l do not care
for the obituary, but desire to aid a
painting, struggling enterprise.
1t is also my desire that all my debts
contracted during life be paid up after
my death. My object in dying is not in
any way to evade the payment of my