The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-13
VISITORS FROM THE CITY.
Dakota tlcll.

"i wish you'd give me bout a nick els wuth of old papers-.th there's a whole raft o' folks visitin' out at my place, an they'n ilndin' fault an turnin' up their noses cause their aint no liter'toor round the house an I'm bound to satisfy 'em on some p'int.'
 Friends from the cast2"
 ~ -a-e-s--some Q my wife's relA- tion. Her cousin an husband an four big children an three little ones an a baby, an mother grown up cousin who aint married, an the ieller that's courtin' hcr, an leetle durncd dog with lots Q hair round his head at neck, an none to speak of on the rest ot him. The whole cahoodle of 'em havc been at our housc bout two weeks, pesterin' us, an I'll be dog goned If don't buy me tin bill an git down an pick gravel with the chickens fore low it to cur again.
 "Ye see they live in New York, an they've come out to spend tho sum mer. They let on they think heap of us. an have been bout dyin' to sec us fer years, reckon they could nev- er get money 'nough to come before.
 "When they came the hoy that 's l bout twelve got out Q tho wagon i first, m while was hclpin' the others out he went 'ruund an broke the we'll windlnss an threw stone al chicken an killed It, an begun chas- 1 In a calf round the yard an' hangin' holt of its tall.
 "Thc next day Em-- that's tho cous- in that aint married saw snake ln the front yard and begun to holler, an' shinned up an apple tce. Her icller went into the house lookin' fer gun mn 'Lia--that's the married cousin stood on the porch an scrcame,l' an the children got up on the fence an { yelled, 'Llm's husband WAS out In the garden plu0gin' lcetle bits Q wa termelons no bigger'n door knobs 10 sec if they was ripe, an my wife has made herself sick waitin' on 'em all, an was In bed heard the hullaba- loo down in the hny field an came up on the jump, an went an picked up an old whip lhsh that lay In tho grass, an they didn't none of 'em sec any more Q that snake. They didn't pol. ogise though, and Elm said oughter know bettcr'n to let whip laslies lay round where they would bc sure to l fool folks.
 An her iellcr tried to help her down an' she slipped nn fell on him an' spavined his arm, an had to hook l up an go down after the doctor.
 "An' the next day the baby was took with measles, an' had to go again.
 "An' in the meantime the boy that's bout twelve had throwed stones down the pump sos It wouldn't pump, broke the winder outn the barn, parked all the trees an' killed two hens with some rubber gum fxin' which afterwards got up in the night an stole way from him an burned in the kitchen stove.
 "An' 'Liza's husband finished plug. gin the watermelons, an got load In the shotgun that he dasn't shoot of, an said he guessed he'd send fer his 1 brother to come out so's to make \ pleasant little family party.
 i "Ye orter see 'em stow way the meat an garden sass an grub an onc stuff an mother when they get to the table, though they're all the time tcll- in' how delicate they air, an how they got the hay disease or something hay fever mebby 1t K. reckon it's trouble as kinder stimulates the stomach, an makes folks hungry. At dinner one day seed the pertaters rneltin' 'way perty fast an begun to swailerin mine sort e rapid so's to get mother fore they was all gone, an 1 was shOvelIn' it with tny knife, when Elm spoke up an said that some folks she knowed would cut their mouths clear round to the back e their heads some day, an that 1t was awful funny how people that lived in the country didn't have nc table manner n0how. Then she spearcd her fork inter the last pertater in the dish, aR got left after all.
 "ODe day Ems feIier says to me l: Say uncle,' Che alays calls me uncle fer some reason) .n know yer spotted cow haint got no teeth in front an' aboveS' is that sol' says 1. Yes, sir says he, 'cause turned up her upper 1 lip an looked. She haint got none nor never had none neither. I know dime museum man fin New York ye could sell that cow tO fer 5000. He'd put her up on platform an ear c corn over her head, an' she'd sorter grin at it an' show her gums, sH' .ss'd clear million dollars on her.'
 "The twelve year-ch hoy has got the heft of the hens either killed or disabled, an the dog that pears to run to a sharp pint behind has ct most Q the little chickens. Ems fei- Ter has peeled all the shade trees fin the front yard tryin' to find some birch bark. He was gtartfn, on the lilac