The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-06-08

Nip and tuck-What the dressnlaker
does
Should telephone appliances come under
the head of lollo ware?
An overflow meeting-That Of two guSh-
ing ,,aidcns after long separation.
Grand temples arc built of small stones,
and great lives made up of small events.
Cure for dvSpcpsia-Give hungry dog
a piece Of meat, and chase him till he drops
From smart boys composition on la
bics: The mothers heart gives 4th JOY at
the baby's 1st 9th.
Woman loses considerable time before
the looking glass, but man loses more be-
fore the social glass.
Ii t-amns would only scour tin-pans as
thoroughly as they do the country, how
useful they would be.
Are fat men likely to be better men than
their leaner neighbors! 1t is certainly diff
cul; for q fat man to stoop TO anything low
l see that q genius has constructed an
engine of paper" Yes; wonder what kind
of an enginc:3 Stationary, of course.
Satan would have to skip around pretty
lively 10 find mischief enough for all the
hands" that are ''idle"-to do.
A lady may surely be expected to make
a glcat noise in the world when her dress
is covered ali over with buglcs.
Despise not the day of small things; the
ballot OF the small man counts just as much
in the returns as the vote Of the giant.
In England people never go to bed
they retire. Moreover, they never get
up; they descend in the morning.
1t is very bad taste for wife to growl at
her husband for tracking mud into the
house-for what is home without its mud
der:
Sunday school teacher (to All Sin, the
laundryman)-What are the wages of sin?
All Sin-Sleventytivc cents dozen. No
checkec no washce.
Chinese are said to live on next to moth
ing. but they are Syharitcs in comparison
with New York Italians, who support an
entire family on 81 week.
The most absent minded of men is the
professor who, when he hears himself
knocking the ashes out of his pipe, will
Cry, Come in"
A lady and gentleman accidentally touch,
ing each others feet under the table. Sc
crct telegraphy," said she. Communion
OF syles, said he.
The blacksmith is Quesr fellow. When
he goes on a strike he refuses to strike. and
when he refuses 70 strike he keeps on strik-
ing.
: lady says this talk about when girls
ought to marry is sheer nonsense. The
question is not when they ought, but when
they can.
Tie government has sent one million
young shad to the Pacific Coast. If they
do well people there can pick q bone with
the Chinese as often as they like.
why is a young lady's' age after she
reaches twenty-five like floral wedding
bell?' asks an outsider. And he says it is
because it is never told.
4 Connecticut woman claims to be III
years old, and she probably is, for We see
by the papers that she knows how TO make
old.Saslion pumpkin pies.
4 widow Of fcrty.siN, who has had twen-
tv-oue children, wants another husband.
One who has had experience in running an
orphan asylum preferred.
1t is estimated that one million house
cats are used for the fur trade annually.
So they do not mysteriously disappear
from the back fence in vain.
go. on your husbands cravat, haven't
you?' asked neishbor of Mrs Dilkins
Yes replied Mrs. 3. sadly; its the
only tie there is between US now"
Shc--Hcs very knowing dog; why,
when = It 5 ten o'clock papa always closes the
house. you know, and then Carlo barks;
hes going to bark now.
''Sam, why are lawyers like fShes?' Il
don't meddle wild de subjec, Pomp
"Why don't you see? Cause dcy am so
fond Oh debate
Delightful Observation-Disclosures Of Ger
man professor. Professor-What a couple
of bonnie little children, dear baroness!
Twins, suppose! Baroness haze
guessed rightly Professor--Are the;y-6oth
yours?
Some one who asks-tWill hair grow
after DEATH seems 10 be troubled with a
suspicion ;,frGt dd--bald headed angel would
look rather peculiar.
of man could only catch fish as easily
as be can lie about it, la1nents an editor.
He could, if he only understood fishing as
well as he does lying,
Shops that sell at fair profit have no mar
gin with which to give away articles to
their customers These 50 called gifts are
the result of an overchargc or 4 sacrifice of
good material.
l; has been decided that hereafter brides
cake cannot be sent through the mails il
letters, rs the regulations prohibit The send
ing "f packages which weigh more than 10
pounds by mail.
Two fair white arms ere around MY neck,
Her lips to mine she doth fondiy press,
And I know she is trying to get that check
promised last week for y new silk dress.
Tobacco kills sheep-ticks, according
to AZ agricultural exchange Then by ali
means provide your sheep with tobacco. It
is true that it is filthy haGit, but it must
be preferable to ticks.
Women are not inventive, as rule,
says G writer Any married man whose
wife iEvents { new biding-place for his
pipe and slippers every day will not agree
with this statement.
\ German prima donna remarks that in
the Fatherlaud the ladies believe exercise is
good 20. the health, and do great deal of
walking. while American ladies seem to be