Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-07-10

carefully on a stool. His wife was frying
pork for supper.
"Why, Lie" said the Major, in sur
prise. after we were seated by the fire.
WAITS up vi We now?"
"Ast the oil woman?p said Lie. in a
voice so deep and strong that one could
scarcely help wondering what its volume
and compass must have been when its
owner was in full possession of all his
members.
The old woman didn't wait TO be asked.
but, in q thin and squeaky voice that O n
trasted comically with that of her husband.
or what was left of him, said:
"Lije il keerless-ter' BILE keerless. Never
setch keerlessness. If 1 had a young un
two year old, an it were ez keerless ez
Lije is, I'd lamb the keerlessness outen it
TIL hain't no 'scuse fer setch keerlessness.
He must ba' been horned keerless. Needn't
tell me th't he'd ha' been ketched in that
bar trap If he want keerless. An how'd
he shoot his leg off? Keerless. An he
hain't satisfied VII leavin' his arm in
a bar trap an a peggin' away at
his leg wi a charge o. buckshot-
yes, it was buckshot, too Ye can't
tell me, Lie Goodyear, tibet a ball could
ha' chawed up that leg o. your'n like il
was! Twas buckshot! He want salts
fed even WI peggin' at his leg VII a load
o. buckshot, ez if he were pluggin' a deer,
an they a fetchin' of him hum all bupged
up an not with a cent fer nothin', list in
pig KILN time, too, an me up to my ears
in sassage meat an lard an beadcheese!
No! That want showin' enough yet how
keerless he could be, and so wat does he
do but up an prance round t'other day on
his crutch out in the yard while l were to
the barn a milkin' an. the groun' ez slip
perry ez ice wi the rain we'd been a beyin'.
Wen 1 kim in 1 found him on
n side o. the door stun an the crutch on
t'other. People that's keerless alluz goes
out setch days vii one leg an one arm an
a hick'ry crutch. I've alluz noticed that
pertic'lar. I fetched him in. an he's been
,joyin' of hisself ever sence with his one
arm broke an the las leg he's got sprained.
Soon ez he gifts rid o. the arm an leg he's
got left, then he gointer gradually shed his
ears an cunjer up some slick way to do
without his eyes. He's durn consid'rit,
Lie is. He don't wanter leave a widder
all in q lump and to wunst, We see, but he
wants to kinder slide off by easy stages, a
slice at a time"
The major afterward told me that he had
forgot to mention that Mrs. Lie was a
''corker." We sympathized with Lie,
and sat for two hours without his men,
tioning the story that troubled the major
about Lies veracity. The old woodsman
grew impatient and restless. Finally Lie
said:
81 had a story l were goin' ter tell We,
MAZE, but / can't do it,"
"Not the one bout the b'ars!" exclaim-
ed the major in dismay.
Eyes, the one bout the bars" said
Lie,
"why can't We tell it, Lije@:' asked the
major, appealingly.
"Why can't l tell it," exclaimed Lie.
''Sizzlin' ginger! kin l show We how /
clutched the throat o. one o. them bars
with my right hand an shet it's caloric
squar' off, wen I hain't got nary hand to
show We how 'twere done? Kin l lay it
down to We how l kicked the life outen one
o. the other bars with my left leg, wen
my left leg is three feet under ground, an
my right un is laid up s%tiffer'n a fence rail
an sorer'n the earache? No, ! can't. I
can't do it! l never know'd afore wat it
were to be a cripple, MAZE, but now l do"
The major never spoke a word on the
way back to the cabin, but when we got in
and he stirred up the fire aud showed the
Opaque bottle across the table, he said:
Pm inter the swamphole O. onsartinty
up TO my neck, and if Lie Goodyear dies
afore some one else heers him tell that
story an eases my mind by jedgin' of it
Pm a goner from the Gone woods, sonny.
an tn hain't no help for me!'