The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-04-01
ga LITTLE NONSENSE"

The real name of Confucius was
Keing-fu-tse. He adopted the nom de
plume simply to Confucius. -Puck'S Aaa-
naIGI.
-"Now, while I have my taper lit, "
remarked Mrs. Forethought, ''I'll Just
seal up lot of these envelopes and lay
them where they'll be handy. Boston
Commonwealth.
-Te1as Siftinqs says "there are
plenty of recipes for lobster salad, but
none to prevent its giving you the
nightmare. y Yes there is: don't eat it
at night. Boston Globe.
A precocious youth, prompted by
an unpleasant recollection of the last
term, says that school teachers are like
dogs. "They lick your hand" This
carries off the palm. -Ter0s SJtiaags.
Belmont boasts of woman who
'goes out and chops wood with her
husband 1t is customary to use an
axe, but he may be an unusually sharp
man. Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer Sum-
Loves Young Dream.-She Gun
conscious of the flight OF time) -How
bright and shimmering the Evening
Star appears tonight, dear George!
Would it we're. George Quietly
Ny love, that is the Morning Star.
An exchange says that so many
fur rugs lying about the house are I'M
healthy. We had always supposed that
they were quite rugged. However, if
they are unhealthy" why not call in
the doctor and have them prescribed
for Immediately?
According to a morning contem-
porary, flour horses, an express wagon
and large number of chickens per-
ished in the flames" last night. The
heart-rending cries of the express
wagon must have brought tears to the
eyes of everybody.-Puck's annual.
He Co Pittsburgh heiress) DO
you know Miss Wandergrift, whose
father is reported to be very rich? She
(glass and pig-iron) 20, no, indeed!
The Wandergrifts do not belong to our
set at all! They are so new, you know!
Their money comes from natural gas.
-Puch.
Leader of Orchestra-All ready.
All, what is the matter, Herr Schwein-
furth? Herr Schweinfurth- over
ture will have to Wait. Ohf dot teller
vot plays de trum can't geep from
chewin' unit den usin' mine horn for
Won spiddoon, / will resign myselluf
from dis pand. -Puch.
Omaha woman-Did you ever! Peo-
pie are talking of growing flax for fuel
Omaha man-Yes, | noticed that. 1t
is said to have more heating power than
coal. '.Why, come to think, it is a
good plaza splendid plan. There
won't be any trouble with chimneys
then. "Trouble with chimneys?''
mo. You know how beautifully flax
seed poultice draws. = omaha World
-R-r-r-r-r Hello, centraln .'Hel-
10; what NUMBER" elbow much is a
telephone worth?n Telephones are
not sold; they are simply rented" II
don't want to buy one, just want to
know how much l would have to pay if
mine got smashed by some accident. !"
ooh, I don't know; about forty dollars,
| think. Have you bet?n s'No; |
have an axe" '.R-r-r-r-r. ''-Detrost
Free Press.
I heard good occasional story the
other evening at the dinner of the As
ISOLATION Of Life Underwriters. Mr.
James 7. Phelps, the newly-elected
President, related that his small son
said TO him at breakfast: Papa, what
makes you so solemn? What is the
matter?" "Oh, was the answer, II
have got to engineer that underwater 5
dinner tonight, and it bothers me-"
Papa, inquired the infant, with the
terrible seriousness peculiar to his ass,
''what does the engineer of a dinner
do; does he turn ON the cranks?"--
Boston Cor, Providence Journal,