Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-01-16
AT HOME AGAIN.
A Register Man Comes Up from the Capital
and Relates His Impressions.
he HEARS DULL, SICKENING THUDS
When He First Enters Charleston-Ihe
Crowd Of Expectant Candidates.
The Mud, THIRD HOUSE, AND CITY.

The Mud, THIRD HOUSE, AND CITY,
The REGISTER reporter on duty at tne
State Capital arrived home last evening
improving the opportunity afforded by the
adjournment over Saturday and to-day tt
skip up home and sleep in a bed oVel
night. He came into the office about !
o'clock last evening, looking a good deaI
the worse for wear, and a verbatim report
of his narration of a portion of his adven'
lures is appended:
81 reached Charleston on Monday even
ing with q full celluloid outfit OF linen,
warranted to last for forty-fiye days, and
with the intention of attending the Legs
lature. A grateful constituency had Jun
intentionally, no doubt, neglected to pre-
sent me with the papers emitting me to sill
in legislative halls and giving me the privi'
lege of speaking and amounting the States
cuspidors with essence of choice Virgins
twist, but | was determined to attend the
session, and so, as l could not 60 as a Sen
atOr, / went in the capacity of a mere citi'
zen. | afterwards learned that afew other
persons had also come in the same capac-
ity.
when the train on which | embarked
reached Charleston night had spread her ga
BILE wings over the Capitol City, or words to
that effect. A nice slippery coat of ice
which seemed to have been extra polished
for the occasion, was also spread over the
city, and as | tottered toward the hotel,
the sickening thuds and the excited but
expressive language, which | heard between
falls, told me that the ice was being fully
appreciated by more persons than myself,
while two or three stentonan CALCULATIONS
convinced me that Charlesten's perennial
summer was unappreciated, Some of the
sufferers were Democrats, and the uncon-
~ventional familiarity with which they
quoted portions OF Scripture proved their
identity beyond a doubt, even in the
darkness.
"But besides being full of ice, the place
also had a few extra hundreds of people in
it, some of whom had come to legislate;
Others, and myself among the number, had
come to watch the members and make our
selves useful to the State Mt the rate Of "a
per day, and q few other persons had come
for the purpose of watching them both and
to see what kid of q thing q Legislature
was, anyway. When | got to the
st. Albert l found the Office full
of representatives Of each of
these three classes. They seemed to be
using their best efforts to enjoy the Occa-
sion and everybody was talking to some
body else in the loudcst tone of voice pos
sible. / elbo we'd my way TO the supper
room, and after | had frightened my vest
sufficiently l pushed back to the thinnest
part of the crowd, where | could get stand
ing room and prepared to watch the scene.
'"Thc crowd was made up mostly
of would-be pages, committee clerks,
sergeants-at-arms, speakers, dOOrkeep-
ers and small. army
of other persons Of the kind, whose hearts
played within them for a chance to devote
their time, talents an opportunities for the
public veal and 81, as before stated. The
very air vas ~impregnated with undevelOp-
Ell plRtS anu COIlIllIICC Cltl Nd, dIu a tCi-
egate couldn't move without being re-
minded of the county full Of constituents
who were waiting with observant eyes to
see fat offices given to their young men
Some of the applicants went at it rs
though they had never done anything in
their lives but apply for pagcships. These
would grasp the members sleeve and hold
him tight till they had either talked him
to sleep or secured his promise to put their
names on his list and look them over
If he showed signs Of drowsiness, a jerk
upon the coat sleeve would bring him back
to q realization of his position. Some
applicants had q fashion of g~ouging the
members in the ribs with their knuckles if
even so much as IN eyelid. winked. But
this practice should he noticed and
constituted q misdemeanor III the next
batch of laws which are ground out, and
thus save future statesmen the aifiictl0n.
But the pages and clerks have almost all
been announced, and the disappointed APP
plicants who are still at the Capitol arc as
numerous and as cheerful lOOkinga rs dead
flies around n m0lasses barrel. And these
same disappointed ones show the wisdom
of the Speakers appointments in a won
derful degree. You ask q man or a boy
if he got there and if he tells you no. he
invariably adds that he wasn't expecting
it, anyhow or that he didn't care much.
Certainly such would have made but
tolerably efficient officers, if appoint
ed, and the mystery is that
the Speaker should have been able to tell
..t.,.,-l,, Al. ,..,,,o ,-h, ,-a,kal - ~
not, before making the appointments. l
have noticed that all the successful appli-
cants are satisfied with their positions, and
if this maryellOusly acute selection is not
due to the Speaker. TO whom is it due?
"And now just one word on another
subject. One of the greatest natural advau-
trges which Charleston has, is the particu-
larry fine and pure quality of her mud.
Other cities have laid p%retentions to mud,
but for the real, good old solid, substantial
genuine article from away back Charleston
leads them all. The advantage of
the city in this respect is recognized by
those in charge of the corporations, and it
seems that every effort is made to preserve
and cultivate this natural product of the
town in all its purity and quantity. The
mud has taken quite hold upon the men,
bers Of the Legislature, and almost every
Delegate and Senator wears a coat of beau
tifully yellow and sticky clay on the
edges and uppers of his boots. This nat
ural advantage is n which should be
carefully looked after and protected.
/ notice that one Of the most attractive
features of the Charleston telegram is the
personal notes department, and a |
recognize its Importance in q talk OF this
kind, l have culled a handful OF blossoms
from the posy bed ofrumor which is bloom
ing so luxuriantly in Charleston at this
time and / take pleasure in presenting
them.
''The most important note is that the
Third House will assemble on Monday
night at eleven o'clock in Bob Carr's back
Office. The House would have organized
sooner but for the absence of Jake Kemple,
but now that Jake is in the city all is pre-
pared. 1t is generally conceded
that Charlie Caldwell of Parkers-
burg, will be elected as Chairman, and it is
said that he has prepared an address on his
seYneriences fas n Marty .hacksIider , which