Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-13
STRIKING.

A western lecturer has selected for his sub ject, "A Bad Egg" He says he was struck with it some time ago.-Oil City Blizzard.
 "And were you not afraid of being in Mar seilles2 Didn't you dread the smallpox?" Mrs. Parvenue-''Oh, no, indeed! I've al- ready had the celluloid, you know"
 ''I hear that young MT. Philkins is quite ill, :" said Mrs. Joggins. "Yes, poor fellow" :" replied Mrs. Shopper, "he leads such sedi- mentary life that his health is shattered"
 Among the Zulus the mother-in-law cannot face the law, but must hide, or pre- tend to do so, whenever she sees him. In this country the custom is reversed; it is the son-in law who does the lodging.
 A German professor is so absent minded that he recently sent himself birthday card upon the reception of which he exclaimed ''So this is from my dear friend Butzengie ger. God bless him-he has not forgotten me."-Texas Siftings.
 Where the resemblance ceased.-A lady who had her photograph taken was showing it to her husband tsDo you think it looks like mel" she asked. "Yes," said he after critical examination, Git looks like you, only it seems very uiet."-Harper's Bazar.
 Said Captions, pointing to a sign which read: Umbrellas repaired and recovered" s'There is a palpaple lie" 'Whys How do you make that out?' asked Senex. "Well. umbrellas may be repaired, perhaps, but they are never recovered. "-Texas Siftings.
 A Dakota young man put on snowshoes and walked twenty miles through a blizzard to keep an appointment to get married. A year after marriage he will tell his wife when he returns home few hours after bed-tim that he was detained by a threatening rain storm and he forgot his umbrella.-Norris- town Herald.
 Inquirer Sunday morning)-"Can you direct me to place of worship, sir! I'm from Portland Maine, and a stranger in the city" New York citizen-''It's pretty hard getting it nowadays, but guess if you go over and whisper my name-Cooney-in Con Driscoll's family entrance keyhole he'll let you in."-Puck.
 A Chicago man has spent SIG, ,O00 in fitting up his sitting-room; and when his sons get old enough it is probable that they will pre- fer to spend half the night in boys club room containing couple of seventy-fve- cent card tables, half-a dozen broken back chairs, and two -dollar-and a-half stove.-Norristown Herald.
 Manager (New Jersey opera house)-"We are going to give an entertainment tomorrow evening, MT. Sawlog, and we want load of sawdust for the floor" Mir. Sawlog -"What did you expect to pay for its" Manager-"I will say in the programme that the sawdust used on this occasion is from the celebrated sawmill of Messrs. Sawlog & Co."-Harper's BaZar.
 Says an esteemed contemporary: "A child born in Hyde Park Sunday weighed, at the time of it's birth, only one and half pounds. A lady's gold ring was slipped over it's little arm to the elbow. It is said to be alive and doing we'll, with every prospect of becoming a full-fedged citizen.'' A gold ring that is ''alive and doing well' must be quite as much of curiosity as the child over whose arm it was slipped. Transcript.
 Miss Clara (to young Featherly, guest at dinner)-Won't you have an orange, MT. Featherly? Featherly-Oh, thanks, awfully. Bobby Burning to his mother)-How's that, mas Mother-How is what, Bobbys Bobby MT. Featherly took an orange from Claraa Mother-There, there, Bobby; little boys shouldn't talk at the table. Bobby-Yes, ma, but you said that MT. Featherlys visits here, so far as Clara was concerned, would be fruitless