The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-09-08
The Merry Side !!

Too many men regard Ministers as fire-insur-
ance agents.
What the world needs is more charity and
less hog.
The poet who "poured forth his soul" in poet
ry, produced very light verse.
So
1t is hoped that the speeches this year will
not be as dry as the weather.
The Democratic Treasurer of Auglaize Coun-
ty is at present sojourning in Canada.
Several Ohio River boats are laid up until the
dust gets off of the bottom of the River.
-
Windy Wilson-"Hello! Here's little Buck
eye Hornet-let's see what's in it'll!
A few drops of rain fell here last week, but
only raised a few blisters on the ground.
s+%
Our Democratic friends are kicking on the
lawyers The law has terrors for some people.
The original idea of pitching "curyed ball"
must have sprung from seeing woman throw
stone.
The Rebellion was wrong, and the Rebel veil
now sounds like the believing OF a wounded
wolf
A man is not required to contribute to the
Missionary cause funds that belong to the cup
board.
Cleveland's substitute died a few days ago.
The President will follow, in a political way,
next year.
Foraker invited Windy Wilson to visit him
at Columbus. No sir! You don't get Windy,
that way.
One of the great dangers to this country is the
Wild West marksmen. They can hit people
better under tent.
Many men who ask the Divine Father to 'for-
give our trespasses," must feel that he is of
wondrous power.
Our Democratic friends talk about excepting
abreas+ of public sentiment" That means the
death of Democracy.
"Do we want to take the tax off of whisky"
Well, we would hesitate. Democracy is RAM
pant enough now.
Your stock of Righteousness should never be
permitted to run down. A second hand grade
is mighty unstable goods.
I'm going 10 10 tell Cue trutL, saiu lu0 OSih-
ocratic politician. HE Immediately secured
the attention of good crowd.l
The cooks at Cincinnati hotel struck last
week. If they only struck one of their own
biscuits, no harm was done.
-
Josiah Terrell gave an illustration of "the
ruling passion strong in DEATH" His last act
was to take a smoke.
It's all right to advise boy to "do whatever
he does with all his might" but this advice
comes in better right after meal-time.
80
Why did Windy Wilson, at the Wheeling Re-
union represent a certain unfortunate military
-
Now they try to blame the Vince ling trouble
onto newspaper man. Don't do it, friends
they have sins enough to bear, already.
80
Sherman has travelled seven thousand miles
in the last five or six weeks And to think,
Grover was afraid to go as far as st. Louis.
W ="
1t is said that the battIe-fields in France didp u
look the same to Halstead, when he revisited
them. No wonder! The story he told of Grave
Iotte would have obliterated any battlefield.
-.s
"a rose by any other name would smell as
sweet" and Democrat by any other name
would be as much ashamed of his position.
s.+
Democratic friend, whipping the North was
an easier task than making Cleveland popular
with the soldiers-and the same fight, too.
Our Democratic friends advise DIR. Kitchen TO
"post up" in order to meet them. All he has to
do is TO look at portrait of JEFF. Davis.
q, o. H. 10 cf od,,oofiop savs
the Democratic politician. All right! You
won't get half through with the Democratic
party before the election.
So"
The Waverly Watchman has a hand and
hammer at the head of it's Democratic ticket.
Quite appropriate. The ticket will be soundly
"beaten."
The corn crop in the South is better this year
than usual. Having Prohibition down there,
they will have to feed it to the four-legged
hogs.
Instead of looking at your neighbor's faults,
and your own excellencies-just reverse the
thing and see how much better you will pros
per.
Comfort buys a neat hat, with tasty ribbon
decoration. 'Style" pays five times the amount
wing.
Yes, we can respect the able-bodied man who
sent substitute-but the man who camped,
and marched, and fought, on quarter-rations,
will always hold warmer place in our aftec-
tions.
The Ohio Democratic paper howls because
Canaday, a Rebel, is Sergeant-at-Arms of the
U. S. Senate. "Never go back on thea as
brought ye up by hand"
The pretty story about Gen. Lytle's having
written "Antony and Cleopatra" the evening
before he was killed is exploded. He wrote it
when he was at home-tight.
The Waverly Watchman says 'there is talk
of putting a paddock on Foraker's mouth" No,
there isn't, any more. Windy Wilson tried it,
and concluded to give it up.
-
Admit that Fairchild is a crank, that Tuttle
is wild, and that Foraker was hasty-and how
much less contemplate would the Rebel Flag
action of the President be?
Well tell you! When you want man just
completely squelched, go and ask some news
paper man to go for him. The editor has moth
ing to do in this world but conduct neighbor-
hood quarrels.
In the Cass Circuit Court in Indiana, one fifth
as many divorces marrige licenses, was
granted during the last three years. 1t is some
consolation to know that even one-htth OF the
people are made happy.
"Will the eleventh hour penitent enjoy as
much salvation as the old-timel?" Well, does
man who is chasing train, at the top of his
speed, feel as comfortable as the cool man who
is sitting quietly in the car?
A youngstown man sent to Washington for
the loan of Rebel Flag captured by his Regi-
ment during the Tar and was answered that
sit is contrary to law to send them" They've
heard from Ohio.
A very religious man fell into well and
nearly suffocated, in this place short time