davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
KnowIedge for Everrdnr Ilf..

To add column Of figures rapidly and
accurately, to make no mistakes in simple
sums Of addition, subtraction, multiplied
ton and division, the kind Of arithmetieal
knowledge needed in everyday life, Is. as
President Walker has shown In his recent
admirable talk to the school committee Of
Boston, of far more value to the vast ma
lority OF school children than can possibly
be knowledge Of the intricacies Of frac-
uons, or facility in the gymnastics Of the
puzzle problems Of the text books. with
out such ready accuracy In everyday
sums. This statement by President
walker well illustrates the rational sle-
mand for more practical education IN
the public schools, though there Is A de-
mand for so called ''practieali education
which Is decidedly irrational. Col. I nj.
wards Clarke in American Magazino.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

A remarkable illustration of the per-
fectiOn to which modern telegraphv
has been brought was given a few
weeks ago when the Cunard steamer
Scythia was reported ashore off the
Massachusetts cost near Scituate. The
scene Ofthe supposed wreck was distant
only about twenty-five miles from the
Cunard cOmpany's Office in Boston, but
the telegraph wires were all down be
tween the two points. In order. there
fore, to inform themselves certainly
in regard 20 the rumOr cablegram
was sent to England and again across
the Atlantic via the French cable TO
its landing at Duxbuy, Mass, distant
four miles from Scituate. The answer
was returned by the same route to the
offices at Boston within fifteen inmates.
the message thus crossing the Atlantic
four times to convey the information
less than twenty-five miles from the
scene of the reported wreck.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The Philadelphia breweries were
seized by United States Secret Service
officers last week for violating the rev.
enue laws. The different establish
ments were placed in charge of watch
men and the proprietOrs notified to ap-
pear before the United States Commis-
sloner and enter bonds for their appear
ance at the next term of court. Thirty
breweries were visited by the Internal
Revenue agents. At ten Irregularities
were found. At these places the stock.
Kettles, mash tubs, horset, wagons and
all the utensils used in carrying on the
business were seized and watchmen
were placed in charge.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Something Worth Knowing.

A newspaper in neighboring state
recently brought suit against 48 men
VINO would not pay their subscriptions
and obtained a Judgment in each case
Tor full amount of each claim. Ofthese
% made affidavit that they owned no
more than the law allowed them thus
preventing an attachment. Then un-
der decision of the supreme court thev
were arrested for petit larceny and
bound over in the sum of 5000 each
All but six gave bonds; these went to
Jail. The postal law makes it petit
larceny to take newspaper and refuse
to pay for it.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Several of the great Philadelphia
dailies, the Times included, are quite
hilarious over the fact that New Jer-
sey prohibitiOnist, who was recently
bitten by a rattlesnake, resorted to
whisky as a means of cure. Evidently
these able editors think it isa high
privilege to throw slurs at prohibition
whenever opportunity offers, but they
will have to give better reason for the
general use ofwhisky as beverage than
the fact that it will cure a rattlesnake
bite before they entirely Overwhelm the
prohibition sentiment.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

1t is not at all uncommon to see peo-
pie scratching the passages into the
ears with pins, especially hairpins,
toothpicks, earscOOps, pencils, etc.
The habit is a very dangerous one.
Many cases Of serious Inflammation of
the ear and permanent deafness have
resulted from it. The advice, Never
put anything in your ear but the end
of your elbow" ought to be needed.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The American salutation "Hello"
has travelled with the telephone around
the world. The French have modified
it into "AllO," and suppose it to be a
corruption of "aIlons," under which
form the word is printed on the pla-
cards explaining the use of the tele-
phOne-an instructive example of the
mistakes of etOmOlogists. We see here
an illustration of the universal adapta-
bility of our American language. When
Wharton Baker gets his telephones in
operation in China, no doubt the man
darins will "hellO" at one another as
any Yankees.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Scene-a local courtroom; time
last Tuesday; dramatic person@-a
grandilOquent lawyer, pert but ignor-
ant witness, dignifed judge, spectators,
ETC., etc.
G. L.-YOu got into an alteration
with the plaintiff, didn't your
T. B. l. W.-Naw; 'twere furniture
van got into with him.
G. L.-YOu made violent personal
assault upon him with sort of agricul-
tural implement, didn't you?
?. B. l. W.-Heh? Guess not; but
l pelted the blackguard over de head
wild hOe-handle.
G. L.-Didn't you also apply Oppro-
bious epithets to him, attacking his char
acter for veracity, accusing him of lar
eeny and menancing him with bodily
harm?
2. B.L W.-NOpe (very positively J
G. L.-What did you say to himP
P. B. I. W,-Oh! said as he were
a dhirty scOundhrel of lying loafer
and thafe, thet eff he ever thried anv
OF his old tricks, agin, ! wud tear his
rotten liver out NV i'm.
General disturbance of the dignity of
the court.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Senator Frye's Impressions of Eu-
rope.

Senator Frye of Maine has returned
home from Europe. Some of the frag.
ments of a conversation he had with
the correspondent of New York pa.
per concerning his trip are full of in
terest, and show clearly that the Sena-
tor while abroad kept his eyes open.
He said that he twas charmed with
Edinburgh, but when 1 saw women
drunk, fighting in her beautiful streets
the modern Athens lost her charms 7
cannot convey to you the picture of
tne degradation and want throughout
Great Britain caused by drink. I am
amused when I hear people complain
OF the water in Europe. Mrs. Frve
and myself managed to get through
Europe without beer and wine or strong
drink, and think we have stood it
pretty well. The water in Europe is
good as a rule. I came back a stonter
cold water man than when I went
away. The drink evil is a horror y
What he has to say of the poorer work.
ing people of the continent should he
read by every one, but more especially
by those who talk wildly of the wav in
which the foreign laborers live in COM
fort in spite of the low wages that pre-
vail IN Europe. The Senator saws that
he " found girls in factories in Venice
working with great skill for from to
II cents a day, the most experienced
getting II cents a day, out of which
they have to live. But how thev live
is wonder. Their chief diet is mac
carOnl. Farm hands all over Europe.
women, earn 20 cents a day. Women
do most of the field work. l saw no
improved machinery on the farms of
the continent. 1 have seen some twen-
ty women in one field at work, not a
man in sight. The plain people have
no meat to eat but once a week on
the continent. The condition of Amer
lean wage-earners is incomparably bet
ter than that of the working people in
Europe. 1t is the difference between
comfort and competence and discom-
fort and insufficient food and clothing.n
Not only did Senator Frye become
with the effects of beer and
wine drinking and the curse of low
wages, but he turned his attention to
another subject, which he disposed of
in this way: perhaps the most con-
person one meets abroad is
the Anglicized American, the man
who apes both in manners and Ian
guage what he regards as the English !
aristOcracy, affects to believe every
thing in England perfect, and seems to |
be ashamed to institute any favor
able comparison between his |
country and England. There was one
1f this type on the steamer, a graduate
Of Harvard, SO delighted with English |
society that he claimed to spend every
ieason there. He was inquired of at
he public table as to the make up of
he Congress of the United States,
md deliberately told the gentleman
Who asked him, who, by-the-way, was
IN Englishman, that each state in the
United States had one senator and two
representatives. An American woman
t the table corrected him. Singularlv
nough, the exposure of his ignoronce
i'd not seem to mortify him."
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
sarah Ilernhnrdt,a nronth.

Bernhardt has naturally an ugly mouth,
large and with thin, pallid, forlnless lips.
To reetify this she begins on the lower
lip, paints a thin red line from the corner.
widening it toward the middle and curry
ing again into the other corner. This
makes the mouth look much smaller and
the upper lip full and roster. The upper
lip Is treated in the same way, only She
makes two sharp curves on each side of
the center, which gives the proper Cupld's
bow shape The result Is that her rosy
mouth is reduced in apparent size, and
looks like the brides whose clips were
red, and one was thin, y and she looks five
years younger than she does without this
little adyentitious aid TO her beauty
New York World
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Preparations of arsenic for beauti-
Tying the complexion are gathering in
a goOdly crop of silly victims this sea.
son. The dear girls who use the stuff
may be sure that if it doesn't increase
their betwitching whiteness in this
world, it will sooner or later send them
to realm where spOtless white is the
relgning hue, and where fashion never
changes.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Speaking Of JEFF Davis,a letter a,

Speaking of JEFF Davis's letter against
prohibition Bishop Galloway, Of Mis-
sissippi, says; II did hope that his
stormy life would have a peacefnl close.
that his sun would go down without a
Heck ofcloud in the sky but that un-
fortunate utterance viii obscure the ra-
dance of his eventide and leave a
shadow upon his memory. How sad
that the last words Of soldier, sage
and christian should become the shib-
0Oleth Of the saloons.n
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Spain has been fOrsOme time engaged
IN making preparations for a fitting
celebration of the fOur-hundredth ami
versary of the discovery of America.
Its enterprise will be sure ofa hearty
response from all the nations that four
lsh on the Western Continent. We
on this side of the Atlantic owe much
more to the untiring patience and ener-
gy OF Columbus than does Spain. In
any joint undertaking on the part of
the North and South American nations
10 commemorate this great event in
history, the United States should not
occupy the second place.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Ihere is great to do just now about
civil Service in both the Republican
and Democratic ranks. The active
partisans in both parties sneer when
civil Service is mentioned, and both
say 1t is impracticable, while a large
number on both sides believe it is the
proper way to administer the govern
ment Offices. The outs pitch into the
ms for not living up to the professions
made previous to the election, and the
ins declare they are doing precisely
what the outs would do were they in
thelr places, and very likely they are.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
CARPETS! CARPETS !

Having made arrangements to
sell Carpets by sample, l ask all
who want Carpets of any grade
or pattern to call and examine the
sample. Prices guaranteed as
low as the same goods can be
sold in New York or Philadel-
phia. Carpets, Oil Cloths, Rugs,
Mats, Mating, Carpet Lining,
Ottomans, Stair Rods, Druggets,
Window Shades, Plain and Col
Ored Scrims, &c, &c, &c.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Oid Gentleman asking few ques-
tlonsl-"Now boys, can you tell me
What commandment Adam broke when
ne took the forbidden fruitP" small
scholar like a Hash) -"PIease, sir. tn,
wOrn't no commandments then. sirn
QuestiOner sits corrected.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Charging fourteen dollars g wear
rental for telephones which cost $S.42
Is what enables the bell Telephone
Company to pay twelve per cent. di-
Vldes on a stock that is mostly water
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Their Businosa Rooni,.

III iIOoAoIy no one thing has caused such a gen.
Stsl revival OF trade at Jas p HOffeckeT's Rrn0
o.e ~ thelr giving away 10 their customers of S6
~ III. mny lfee lrial bottles Of Dr. Kings New DiSeoV
s. SI5 M aOE consumption. Their trade Is Simply enor
Cn. Slst u always cures and never disappoints
III * colds; Asthma, Bronchitis, Group and
-, , \. 2h9 lung diseases quickly cured YOn
a S Vest u before buying by getting a trial Bottle
ree' large size 81; Every bottle warranted.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Rraoa I'm

aou are feeling depressed, your appetite is poor
you are bothered with Headache. Won are fd0et.
~ nervous, and generally out Of sorts, and want
20 9raee up; Brace up. but not with stimulants.
spring medicines or bitters, which have for their
basis very cheap, bad whisky and which stimu.
lAle ior an hour, and then leave you in worse
conditltlon than before. What you want is an an
.eietlve mat VIII purify your blood, start healthy
and give renewed health and strength. Such 4
medicine you win find In Electric Bitters. and
only % cents bottle at Jas. p. Hohecker's Drug
ssOEe. feb 23-ly
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
INDEcIsIoN.

Invisible, unspeallable, whose voice
IN the soft murmur Of this neighboring sea,
From the beginning everlastinglv
Is Thy own witness, energize my choice.
Even yt.! now' by more than half the allotted span
wisely assigned, the unreturning year,
In timOrous doubts and all too scrnn,.lo,,s
fears
Have dwindled sore my little term ofman
Must 1t be ever thusf even to the end,
o., rearing to do aught lest 1 do the wrongY
Shall my spirits patrimony spendy
Arise o God! this hour and make me strong.
Let me this hour to fruitful usury lend
One talent in the napkin buried long.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Cooking Green Corn.

juliet COrson, in Good Housekeeping,
says; Every American housewife is sun.
posed to know how to cook corn, but the
southern cooks excelled by leaving on
the sweet, inner husks' first stripping
them down to remove the silk, and then
Tying them in place again; the corn so
boiled directly it was gathered, and
served with a bowl of sweet butter
heated, and well seasoned with salt and
pepper was delicious beyond compari-
son. The full ears may be grated and
the pulp stewed in white sauce or cream
OF fried with butter, salt and pepper
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

Over 1000, 600 fish poles are imported
INTO this fish country annually by one
hrm. Just think what number of lies
this representa-
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
wonderf.1 All

a possible tenant inspects a COTTAGE IN
rent, and inquiries about the oualifv -
the air. "fhe airi' cries the landior5. .
the air Is wonderful One becomes n
eentenaEian quicker here than anywhere
else. French Fun. '-'NA0
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The only perceptible advantage of
dog days is it causes them to set in a
circle at night and howl at the moon or
some flying boot jack.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

1t is the little things of this life that
bother us. One yellOw-jacket at a
camp-meeting win ruin whole sermon.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

It is long lane that has no turn
and the farmers may look forward to
better times.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

A stitch in time saves nine other
stitches from taking an outing.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The watermillyun may get here late
but he is an early riser.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The man who bites off another nose
should be held to keep the peace.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The way of the transgressOr is hard
by in Canada.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
DISTRICT SCHOOLS.
THE PERILs AND DIFFICULTIES OF
TEACHING FORTY YEARS AGO.

"a ChAcaBO Journalist Gives Bit of His
Pedagogical Experience in Tanning tho
Juvenile Menagerie at the Cross Roads
School House.
Not one of the teachers of the district
schools ever fancied that discipline couId
De enforced without corporal punishment:
IN TACT, the people esteemed him in DrODor.
ton to his severity. Generally the instru-
ment Of torture was a fiat sruler', Of
hardwood, and was applied to the omen
palm of the hand. Some of the brntos
who handled this weapon seemed IN do
hight III its use and employed il ON tbe
sIghtest excuse, and not infreuuentlv
without any cause. have been fer.uled
scores OF times without the consciousness
OF having committed any ofTense WHAT
ever.
The women who taught i'll the summer
ana not use the feTrule, but generally a
sWltch, the offender often being sent out
10 cut the instrument with which he was
TO oe punished. One feminine teacher was
an ingenious torturer, who constantly in
vented novel methods of punishment. One
was TO put closed penknife Letwccn tho
fingers OF the victim, press the fingers tight
10 Une handle, and then twist the latter
till the pupil hOwled over the intolerabIe
pain
While fitting for college 1 taught district
schools for several winters. and So nbLor-
rent were the various punishmclts which
had suffered when boy that | detpr-
mined never to strike u pupil unless in an
solute self defense. And l never did.
taught i'll some pretty tough Identities
Where punishments had been the rule from
time immemOrial
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

The curl Of a pigs tail indicates the
wind direction-of the pig.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24

COIOr-bIind engineers should visit
the sea shore.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Drunkennss., or tho Llnunr H.h,.
UE NI9 A1IN WOE Habit,
Positively CURED BY ADMINISTERING M
nAINEsl GOLDEN sPECIFIc.

It can be given in cup of-cofFee or tea
without the knowledge of the person taking
lti IS absolutely harmless and will effect 4
permanent and speedy cure, whether the
patient is moderate drinker or an alco-
holic wreck. Thousands Ofdrunkards have
peen made temperate men who have taken
SIoIoen Specine IN their coffee without their
knowledge, and to-day believe thew guit of
their own free WILL IT NEVER FAII,S,
The system once iinpregnated with the
Specihc 1t becomes an utter imppssibilitv
Tor the liquor appetite to exist. For ftliI
particulars, address GOLDEN SPECIFIC
20, lS5 Race street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
SIZING UP THE CROWD.

l soon sized up the crowd, and found
that the leader was a sullen brute of somo
- years OF age, who could lust barely
spell words of two or three letters. and
could not even write his name. He good
naturedly allowed me to order him uD To
repeat his letters with an air as if saving.
"All right for a week or so, but we IL show
you by and by" A fortnight after the
school opened he was more sullen than
usual one day, and when requested him
10 come out and recite his letters "guessed
he didn't want to say no lesson. "
Very well. When recess comes you'll
Keep your seat and not go out with the
boys"
His ugly face took on deeper scowl
than usual, and he glanced around at the
other big boys, with glance which said
''Now's the time! Wen tackle himr' II
was half hour before recess. Meanwhile
he pulled out an immense pocket knife
opened it, and then, when he saw me look
ing toward him, he jabbed the blade os-
tentatiOusly into the desk. The smaller
scholars saw that a storm was brewing
ana were uneasy; the larger ones moved
about, and evidently thought the crisis
was at hand
When the hour for the recess came I
picked up the heavy iron poker and carry
ing II as II 1t were cane, opened the
door and said: 'The boys may have a re-
cess" AS I did so fixed my eyes on the
ruflian with the jackknife, with genial
smile on my lips. The other large bows
hesitated for an instant, as if expecting
him to make a start. He quailed as he
saw my attitude and the poker, and kept
his seat. The other boys saw the game
was up, and went out; they had no leader
and the combination was broken. never
had the slightest further trouble. Even
the brute with the jackknife became. after
his fashion, my friend, and actually gave
some attention to his books, and by spring
could both read and write to a fair extent,
The people of the district patiently
waited to see me come through the win
dOws in sections; but the event never ham
pened. tanned the menagerie and never
struck one of the beasts blOw.-"PoIi-
uto" in Chicago Times
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
Furniture Of all kinds.

Parlor and Chamber suits Bureaus Bedsteads.
Enelrs, Lounges Tables, Stands. Mattresses Spring
Beds and every thing in the Furniture Line. quar-
anteed at or less than City prices for the same
quality Of goods ian 5tf
Smyrna times., 1887-08-24
THE GROSS ROADS sCUOOT


There is, or was, cross road settle
ment on the Sacondaga river in which was
a district school that was famous all
through the region for the barbar-
ism and intractable character of its
scholars. applied for it one winter. and
was laughed at by the trustee to whom
made the application.
why, they thrOwed out the teacber
last winter; and that amt all either: tbev
mutilated him so that he'll be a cripple
for life"
After much parleying / succeeded in
getting the engagement, it being under
stood on the part of the trustees that if I
lasted week it would be miracle.
The pupils whO,presented themselves on
the opening day were not a choice lot. Most
OF them were from the hills, and were but
little more advanced than savages in book
learning. There were some half dozen
boys as old as, or older than, myself. and
TWO or three hulking chaps who were con,
slderaDly larger than myself i'll physical
dimensions They looked me over with
about the same glance that bull dog
might slender terrier, but for several
days were on their good behavior. being
OF the opinion that when the time came
they would thrown me out without
trouble. 1t was the case of u half dozen
cats playing with feeble mouse
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-08-11
ROW At CHAUTAUQUA.
President Miller Gepo~ed and Has His
Succeaaar Arrcsted.

President Miller repo-ed and Has His
Successor Arrcsted.
Many Springfield people are now at
Chautauqua and Others here are inter
ested in the proceedings there. The follow
ing dispatch will. therefore, be of consid-
cradle local interest. especially as the chief
actors are known IN Springfield:
The annual meeting of the Chautauqua
Assembly association broke up in a row be
tween the authorities of the association and
the cottage holders. About two hundred
people attended the meeting, presided over
by President Miller. The row occurred
during the annual election. Ii was agreed,
after considerable squabbling, to permit cot
tage holders to vote, but no proxies were ac-
cepted. A. c. Wade. Of Jam astown, who
owns cottage, but whose name WAS not
recorded on the books, was refused vote,
although he had the deed with him. Pres
dent Miller ruled that Mr.. Wade could not
vote. Among cheers and Kisses. Miller re-
fused to put a motion by Wade. appealing
from the decision. Wade then put the mo-
tion himself. and was sustained by large
vote. Everybody tried to talk. and there
was utter confusion. President Miller de-
clared the meeting adjourned, but Mr.. Wade
moved that Mr.. Gale, OF Chautauqua, be
made chairman Of the meeting. which mo-
ton was carried. President Miller ordered
a policeman to arrest Wade. but the officer
did not obey. Mr.. Gale took the chair and
Wade moved the repeal of some portions
of the bylaws As Gale attempted TO put
the motion. he was arrested and dragged
from the platform. Wade was also arrested
and the meeting broke up i'll the widest
confusion. The cottagers are indignant and
a lively time is expected.