Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1887-02-02
HUDSON. Wis. Jan. =:

NV Dear HeDry i bi5 - q NiCU'tS', Ic'tet'
The thoughts are mine hut the penmansaIp
is that of n man named Bess!ey, who - DO
ing the chores Coz us this winter. My rea-
son for hiring private secretary Is that last
Tuesday the strawberry blonde Shote slump
ed through hole in the ice, and in striving
10 rescue him from waterg grave fell and
broke one ofmg legs, just above the fetlock.
Kind friends came from everywhere 10
ask me ifit hurt much, and in thousand
different ways showed their gentle desire to
draw me into 2 spirited conversation. a
doctor came down from the Insanitarium 10
set the leg, and tied mis- horse 10 2 little
sugar maple tree that I set out lest spring.
When he puts in his bill for medical attend
ence ne will be surprised TO find an Offset Of
so cents for that tree. l may be slightly
crippled. but YOU can announce in your val.
liable paper that there are no flies on me to
speak of.
while spread out here with nothing to dc
nv mind has been quite active, and l have
had drawn ofI for me the following outlines
OF will. which | send you inclosed here
with. "Please read and return" as it says
en- the Bible racl. on board the cars:
Know all nen by these presents, that /,
the subscriber, being Of sound mind &nd re-
aliZing that ara noW under the doctors
care, ard therefore may be swept into eter'
Mtg any moment, DO hereby make. execute
and publish this my last will and testament
firmly by these presents;
1st. | hereby appoint nay beloved wife
Henriette to be my sole executrix, assignee
and receiver of my entire estate, with full
mowers to pay taxes on said estate forever.
and to have and to hold the same so long as
grass grows and water runs, together with
such other and further relief as The Court
may adjudge.
ID. I hereby request that the red horse
Napoleon be sold and the proceeds thereof
used towards defraying my funeral expenses,
provided that the sum of $25 therefram be
set aside for the purpose OF maintaining
large aggressive bulldog, whose duty II
shall be 10 monkey DER MY lowiy grave ul-
til my dust shall be Of no use TO science. 1t
is my desire that my eXecutriX shall so
maintain said bulldog hereinbefore set forth
in order that pimpy young medical stu
dents may not make too free with all that
is mortal of superior man 1t Is my spe
cial desire that no part Of my economy shall
contribute in any way 10 science or 10 the
amusement Of q class Of sore eyed gosIings,
who cannot get near enough 10 live maa
TO operate CT him.
desire to state also tia, hope what;
about nv formation may be generously al-
lowed to pull oblivion over itself and fade
away. DO not wish 20 ZEE perpetuated IN
the form of fatty tumor or osseous FORM
alton. Let my good deeds be roy only mon
unent. Let the post noytem in my case be
omitted aud the time b3 taken up in some
other way.
request. also that ct my funeral the free
list be SUSPENDED ana that those only whO
have O personal interest in the proceedings
be permitted TO take part. Persons who
make the funeral iadustrr business or
RELY upon it as means Of relaxation are re-
oues.ed 10 abstsin from my funeral as per-
sonal favor 10 me.
Give and bequeatb, make over and pre-
sent to nv beloved wife Henriette, all and
singular, my real and personal property
aside from said horse Napoleon; heretofore
enumerated and set aside for funeral pur.
poses, TO have and to hold all salG property
during her lifetime, and after that the said
real and personal property to pass to my
beloved son Henry who is engaged IN pub
fishing paper at 81 year. 10 said be-
loved son Henry I slso bequeath all my
wardrobe. | have worn out bis old lawn
tennis and polo clothes while he was at
tending college, using his boating and base
bali suits for underclothing during the win
ter, and now that am about to pass on 1
lesve nv own underclothing to him as a
slight testimonial of my appreciation for his
kindness TO me when l had no polo suit CT
my owa. 1 also direct that an obituary,
consisting Of forty lines, relative to me be
printed in my sons paper, ecd6t, at ten
cents per line, to follow pure reading mat
ter, for which the sum of S24 will be found
in an old sock in MY escretoire III the barn.
do not care for the obituary, but desire to
aid panting, struggling enterprise.
IL is also my desire that all my debts con-
tracted during life be paid up after my
death. Ny object in dying is not in any
way to evade the payment Of my debts.
may add to this will, from time to time,
as anything good suggests itself. In the
meantime let me hear from you ever and
anon. Tell us how you come on With your
new paper, and whether you have contFi6u-
ted any more OF your thumbs to your new job
press or not. Respectfully, your father,
BILL NYE.
oD Il