Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-04-22
Bill Nye on Boils.

am having highly humorous ex-
perience with boils, says Bill Nye in n
Asheville, n. c., letter 20 the Chicago
News. To others this announcement
will come with no element of sadness,
perhaps, but to me 1t brings a thrill Of
the kcenest and most poignant anguish.
a uan might go all over whole coun-
try and not lind anything more poign-
ant than these boils seem to me.
There are seven of these little bios
SONS, and they hang in rich cluster
on the back Of my neck, about two
inches below what the phrenologists
call love of home.
had never brought out boil until
last week, though have led very
checkered life, but on Thursday morn.
ing awoke to find myself the parent
of seven cunning little red-headed boils
about the size of pumpkin seed.
They are small, but oh how restless
they are, and how they struggle with
each other for supremacy.
People here sag these boils are a re-
suit of the climate The air here Is es-
pecially calculated 10 bring out any
thing in the line of latent humor. A
man who had been running a humorous
weekly paper in the far west came here
ahd in two weeks he broke out so that
his friends had TO do him up in poul-
tice seyen feet long. | am not doing
much for these boils because | want to
teach them to be self. reliant and depend
upon themselves. One of them was a
puny little thing at first, and | felt
sorry for it when my friends told me
about il. | cannot see these boils, of
course, as they are not in The direct line
of vision, being on the back of my neck.
So 1 get friend-one can trust-and
/ let him come and tell me how they are
doing from time to time.
This little boil at first did not bid fair
to hold out more than day or two, but
yesterday it began to throw aside its
lethargy and to realize that life is real.
1t is fully abreast of of the others now
and hasa large and very active crater
to it.
For three days | put various things
on these boils; among others soap,
sugar, the white OF an egg, ground flax
seed, bread and milk, bread and molas-
ses, etc, etc. There were other things
recommended, but as the boils were all
in a cluster had to try one thing at a
time. With seven boils well distributed
might have tried several remedies at
once, but l did the best | could. In
three days have rendered $l3 worth of
groceries entirely useless to the con-
sumer.
One great difficulty has been the un :
satisfactory results of my efforts to get
any sleep. Before was overtaken by
the pol-evil used to rest on the back
of my head and neck at night a good
deal, but after few experim ents with
my head pillowed on these seven little
hot headed boils found that it made
my head too high.
Boils visit the rich and poor alike, the
humble aDd exalted. They are not a
mark of greatness, for boils frequently
come 10 the obscure aud the unknown.
They do not come with the seeking and
they are not obtained by study or effort.
Boils fall to the lot of many whose lives
would otherwise be void of incident.
TO such they are indeed great benson,
or may be used as such. How many
people do We know who have naught
else to show us in the way of progress,
but kind Providence has bestowed a
boil upon them now and then. which
they can exhibit as an evidence that
they are not remaining absolutely stag
nant?