The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-12
BRIGHT BITS.

so YOU think you could love Evangeline:"
Love her? could love her even if she were
my wife. Mem York Nail.
A SERMON thief received the following from
parishioner who had detected him.
Il liked the part you stole the best,
Go to- go to. and steal the rest
A YOUNG LADY in Alabama was rendered
speeches. for a week by smelling bottle of
camphor. The married men in that community
are all looking for that bottle.-Eort Worth Ga
zette.
AN awkward driver runs over an old woman
ana INJURIES her so badly that the doctor declares
that she has not an hour to live. What can
you do for this unfortunate victim of your care
lessnessgn he exclaimed. Il offer her life pen
sion. French Fun.
THE circus proprietors advertised no show on
account of the serious illness of one of the ele-
phantS. what is the matter with the animal!''
was asked of one of the circus men oh he
got into the lemonade room last night and drank
quart of the stuff before he was detected -
It'd Bits.
IT requires some little knowledge of military
maDoeuvreS to get brass band into position on
parade. When in ignorance of the proper way
TO wheel into line, we should advise the officer to
whom the duty pertains to use a wheelbarrow
and make days work of it.-WobuITl~ AdUer-
tiSer.
THE Standard Oil Trust the Cotton-seed Oil
Trust, the Cattle Trust and the Rubber Trust
might give the superficial observer the i'm
preston that the trust system was becoming
prevalent; but this idea is dispelled by the
increasing frequency in the stores of the sign
NO Trust "-NorbCich Bulletin.
HAVE you ever been in Springfield, Ohio, Mr.
Shorpedge?" she asked of a commercial traveller
in the hardware line.
'Oh, yes
Its beautiful town, is it not?'.
Beautiful town. he repeated with some dis
gust. II have never succeeded in selling a bill
of goods there yet, -Trdueter's Magazine
A correspondent asks how it is that persons
who are detectedin literary thefts almost always
say that they were rot aware that they had
ever seen it before Where there is only a SEN
tence or two thatmay be true; if there be more
and that excuse is,loffered or any other our
correspondents Qusry finds its answer in the
old proverb They that steal will lie. Chris
tan Aduocate. ~
On, red are the noses of topers .rTr
Who loud against the Puritans cry AZ
And think that the nation is ruined tor
Because all their whistles are dry IN
Oh white are the woe begone faces
Ofsellers of whisky and beer
Who weep in their empty cash boxes
And cry There's no liberty here!''
oh blue, very blue, is the Sunday
No matter how sunShiny o'erhead;
Yet isn't a deeply blue sabbath
Much better than one painted red?
-CIcUetdnd Sun.
THEY tell good story about little incident
which occurred at one of the Hon Clarence
Pullen's lectures. You all know Mr. Pullen the
tall, broad shouldered, brown-bearded, genial
ex-Surveyor General of Mexico. His interesting
lecture on Mexico he is accustomed to illustrate
with stereopticon views and not infrequently
has to pick up a man to operate his light and
the slides as he best can. Sometimes the man
knows his business, sometimes he does not. 1t
so happened that an indfferently good operator
helped Mr.. Pullen not long ago when he lectured
before the American Geographical Society in
New York. The society is grave and reverend
body and was listening to Mr.. Pullen's MARIA
tive description and lively comment with close
attention, paying especial attention to his pic
lures.
Now said the speaker, Il win show you
typical Mexican citizen" and the operator stuck
the slide into the lantern. In another moment
the light flashed upon the screen the smallest
little Mexican donkey-"burro" they call them
down there-that was imaginable. The chorus
of laughter that followed may be imagined
Boston Record