davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21
THE CENSUS JUGGLER.

The average capitalist feels him
self unable to cope with the work
ingman in argument. And it is
natural that it should be SO, for,
while the intelligent workman may
not be as well educated" as his
well-to-do opponent, he has on his
side Truth, and that goes far in
argument.
But when the capitalists want any
thing done, they are not at loss to
know how to proceed about it. They
hire some one to do their work.
We do not know that certain
Edward Atkinson has been directly
hired to play the jugger with Stats
tics, but if he has, he certainly must
give satisfaction to his employees,
considering how desperate a case
they defend.
When, therefore, Mr.. Atkinson
tells us that the working people re-
ceiye more wages now than formerly
and bases his statement on statistics,
we can cheerful assent to the prop
osltion so specifically made. That
is, we may safely admit that the
wage slave receives more dollars; and
we may even 90 further and admit
that he receives more value than
formerly. But will Mr.. Atkinson
dare to assert that he receives a
greater proportion of the products of
labor than before?
And again, and again, at every
turn the self-same question presents
itself and is evaded. Do the creators
of wealth and capital receive the full
value of their creation? Let Mr..
Atkinson or any of his hackers take
up the question squarely. They
know very well that the producers
receive only a part of the value of
their labor. Let them defend them
selves by proving that it is just
and necessary that the workers
should be exploited.
But the impudence of this capi-
talistlc mouthpiece rises to sublimity
when he asks las he did in speech
before the Boston Labor Lyceum
two or three weeks ago): "Why do
you work for wages here if you don't
want to? Why do you work more
than eight hours a day if you don't
want to? Why do You buy the cloth
you have on your backs and pay me
something on every yard if you don't
want TOP AS well might he ask
why the coekleshell in a maelstrom
goes round and round; for he knows
he is speaking to workingmen as in
dividuals as yet. lie would not ask
| such questions of Labor united.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21
is LABOR NOBLE AND HOLY !?
By W. 7. HORN.

Labor is, or is not, noble and holy,
according to the character of the la
borer, and according to the motives
and aims which condition his work.
Viewed from the standpoint of every
day life, labor is ignobe and unhOly,
hence the anxiety to escape it; but
judged by the code of abstract JUS
tice and truth, labor is noble and
holy. and any attempt to shirk it is
morally wrong.
Both these views are correct: the
one Of our work-a-day world, the
other of that ideal state of things
towards which all that is bes: in hui
man nature is tending.
Let US take the ideal side first.
That which is contrary to nature
cannot be noble and holy. Nature
has endowed us with physical and
mental capacities that we may adapt
means to ends, which implies action
rs the intent of nature, and all right
action is labor. Moreover, as an in
centive to activity, nature has i'm
posed upon man collectively the ne
cessity to labor as the basis of life,
for in the aggregate there can be no
life without labor; hence labor, and
labor alone, of all human activities,
is the most noble and holy, since it
fulfills the end of nature; while it's
opposite, idleness, is wholly ignoble
and unholy, because it thwarts that
end So much for the ideal side Of
the question.
Now let us look at the actual.
Man, Individually, everywhere and
always, struggles to evade the neces-
sity to labor imposed by nature upon
man collectively, and seeks to shift
his share of the aggregate burden on
to the shoulders of his fellows; hence
the evolution of our capitalist system
under which labor becomes ignobls
and unholy, since it is made the
basis of state of things which, be-
ing an invasion of the natural order,
results at once in the degradation of
the idle shirkers, of their toiling
victims, and consequently, of society
at large.
To sum up: Labor to be noble,
must be free; that is to say, free
from all forms of cOnstraint imposed
upon man by man, and since the
constraint imposed upon all by ma
ture cannot be evaded, work must
be done justly by all for all, and not
as we see it now performed, under
unjust human constraints, by the
worker for the idler, which is slavery.
And the laborer who submits to this
without protest is not in the noble
sense of the word man, and cannot
do noble work. The noble man
alone can do noble work, and if the
general conditions are such as to an
tagonize his activities in this direc-
ton, then he turns his efforts against
them, let them be as formidable as
they may, and, if need be, he is
ready to live and die martyr in a
"noble and holy" cause.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21
THE PRIZE ESSAY.

In another place will be found an
article entitled els Labor Noble and
Holy by W. Il. Horn, to whom is
awarded the prize, a copy of Gron-
lund's Cooperative Commonwealth.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21

anarchists? Socialists deny them
selves comforts and even necessarles
in order to spread their doctrines
which prove that they are anything
but anarchists. They want the peo-
pile through the constituted agencies
to control Iabor's productions and
their distribution. They want ga
more precise, orderly and harmonl-
Gus arrangement Of society than at
present prevails. They believe that
he who creates by labor Of hand or
brain should have the full value of
his production, and that the uni
ycrsal cooperative plan is the only
one by which this justice can be ex-
ecuted. Anarchists say they don't
want any law or government or au-
thority.
We are tolerably sure that the edi-
tor Of the Dispatch knows that So
cialsm and anarchism are antagon-
istic opposites, which puts him in
an unenviable light us publicist.
While we confess to as deep q de-
testatlon for rlotOus and lazy scoun-
drels AZ anyone, we don't find them
preaching Socialism, or llourishlng
under the banner Of those who say
with st. Paul that he who will not
work, neither shall he eat. Nor
would we recommend so incendiary
a writer even Us the editor of the
Uispuich as u candidate for the hang
mans repeat least not the moose
end. We believe that even such
unstable minds as those that guide
the ying pen against the inevitable
coming order, could be reclaimed
and be made useful IN the SociaistiC
Commonwealth, where they would
be compelled the earn their living,
according to their capabilities.
Of course. we have no means oil
knowing what the editor of tn,
Dispatch is good for in the way Of
useful labor; still, it is possible that
the Cooperative Commonwealth
will provide museums and menagcr
les for the cdliication of the public
and our friend could possibly be o
use as a sample idiot of the last year
of capitalism. Thus his life woult
be as productive as it is now
might cause laugh now and thel
from the thoughtless, be productiv
r of pity in the breasts of the thought
full, and serve rs n warning to both
We would meanwhile suggest t
| our sangnlnary cotcmporary Il cult
walton of the appreciation of truth
and the practice of common honest
: in his editorial criticisms. perhap
he is not such q bad fellow, after al
$ only Il little perverted by tina
Q enemy Of social order-private in
| tcrest. And rs this is durable dis
| ease, we will assume that bis case
} not hopeless.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21

rule this land and prepare the way
for dignities and titles Gaping their
present crests and liveries?
Every honest man must be So
cialist, only the rascal is an ''anarch-
ist," as it is popularity defined. -
Dearer Labor Enquirer.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21
NOTES..

If you know what Socialism
means, workmen, you know that
your interests and those of your
family demand of you to work and
vote for Socialistic measures.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21
A MAYORESS,

The first lady in the United States to
be elected to the position of mayor is
Miss Dora Salter, of Argonia, Kan. This
bit of information has not yet appeared
IN the satanic press. Richmond Labor
Herald.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21

1t was significant that when Pow
derby spoke in Denver there were no
Knights of Labor on the platform
with him, but instead politicians
and priests, and the latter not
friends of DR.. McGlynn.
Workmen's advocate. (New Haven, Conn.) 1883-1891, 1887-05-21

Workmen who do not know what
Socialism means should lose no time
in learning; for they will soon have
to decide upon questions that, de-
clded in ignorance, may work great
injury to themselves and their
friends.
While Walter Vrooman (the boy
orator. is in the East, we hope
that our friends will arrange open
air meetings wherever practicable
and give the working people a
chance to hear him. He has been
speaking to large audiences in New
York during the past week.
If the denunciation of the folly of
one or half dozen prominent men,
bers of labor organization tends to
destroy that organization, it ought
to be destroyed. But the labor
movement cannot be stopped, but
must be advanced by the removal Of
distractions in the shape of organi-
cations that will not keep time to
the march of progress.
The only paper that has ever ad
vocated mountaineering is that CAPT
talist sheet, the Chicago Times,
which advocated and urged that
hand grenades be thrown among the
striking sailors of the Lakes in 1877.
The only one which ever advised
poisoning was the Tribune, which
said, "Give the tramps arsenic on
their bread But it is just such
papers as these that denounce the
workingmen who would use honest
political action to accomplish great
reforms, and which call them incen-
diaries and anarchists.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
THE TRAVELLERS GUIDE.
Ways aud Hours OF Getting In nnd
out Of " ashingt8n.
DEPARTURES.
From tt. nnd r.. station

For Boston-e y. m twithout change of carsD
For New YOrk-5:Hj, o. $40 0imitcd all Pull,
man parlOr cars, II and II w a. IN; ieU5,
2, dimtcd, all parlor cars, 1910, 10, ii:2j
p m.
For PhIladolphla-7:25, o, $40 uimltcd). II
and il.I0 a IN. tdaily for New York AMI
Phlladelphlal; l!t5 =, Uimitedj, i.lJ,
Gt0. 10 and 20 p. m.
For BaltimOre-G:35, 7:2j, o, $50 limitedD, $50,
II daily except sunday. and il:l0 n. m;
100 (accompdatlOnl, 3 tlimited), iilJ,
42O, $40 500. $40 10 and ii:90 p. m. Oi
Sunday Oh lyat gD5 a. IN, local for Blltl.
more and way stations.
For Chicago, Cincinnati and st. LOuis-0:j0 q.
m. limltcdl and $40 and 10 p. m.
For Buffalo, Elmira and Harrisburg-0:O q.
m, and iOp. m.
For AnnapUlls-1;25 a, m, 1905 4i0 and 600
. y. m. Sundays ut a, IN. and $50 y. M
For Pope's creek Line -7s2j "A. M, $50 y. m.
on week days only.
For AleXaudrla-G, s;iS, $40, tn:51 a. m; 1901,
2O5, 4:s5, i.35, GUl, sos, 1895. and If 37 n. m,
Sundays at ., $40, y:i,, 1851, a. m; s3j GUi
and 1905 y. ny
For Richmond and tho south-6 and io:57 a.
m, and 1875 y, M, daily except sunday
via Atlantic Coast Line.
For Cincinnati, Louisville and ST. Louis, via
Chesapeake and OhiO-5s30p. IN.
For Fort Monroe, Newport News and Nor.
fok-G00 and iOb5 u. m. Except SundaysD
For Leesburg, Round Hill and points on ". o.
W-9l2 q. m. daily except sunday
and iij y. ~,
For Manassas, Thorouehfare Gap and Front
Royal-2:35 y. m, except sundays.
For WarrentOn-s30 a. m; $3.50 y. m. daily
For LynchburE. Atlanta and New Orleans
$50. and il!10 a. m. daily for atanta),
and II y. IN via Nidiand.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
HE SEES THE EDITOR.
But Only to Discover that journal
Ism Is at u Very Low Ebb.

But Only to Discover that Journal
Ism Is at Very Low Ebb.
~. Ableson Peters," said the man
aging editor of great daily, glancing at
a card which had just been handed
him. "Show him up"
A few moments later man 80 con.
scious of his unimpressiveness that he
made painful efforts to be impressive,
stepped into the room. He was dressed
like an undertaken, and, bowing to the
editor, presented him with sort of
pallbearer's smile.
"You have, of course, read my
paper" said the visitor, as he lifted his
coat tails and seated himself.
"What paper do you represent"
''The uoganville Forum. am the
humorlst of that paper, OF course you
have read extracts from II.
NO, | think not" the editor cruelty
replied.
why, the lIarnpike P6JJlo repub
lished an article of mine this week.
Believe I've got copy of 1t now."
lie drew ont n small sheet, illrted
the creases out of 1t and pointed to an
article headed, "a Good Joke on our
Leading Merchant" II wrote that
the other night while my wife was at
the festival can always write better
when am alone"
$50 can l, and have considerable
work TO do at present., the great edi.
tor replied.
"Yes, much better" the humorist re.
piled. II am growing out of foolish
dialogue and am getting down to sen.
tentious merit, think that every
smile should be accompanied by a
healthful suggestion; every laugh by n
thought, AS make progress in this
direction | find that my work is read
by more select class. used to write
for minstrel and circus men, but now
] write for philosophers. Now. to
show you how far above my former
self am getting, l will relate little
incident"
You'll have to excuse me-"
"Only take me minute This morn.
ing went over to the circus ground
and applied for admission, but do you
know, sir, that | was refused? | had
gotten so high above the circus that
the fellow, to get even with me, re.
fused to let me look at his show.
Then good idea occurred to me.
thought that would come around and
let you Interview me on the subject.
Capital, don't you think"
Capital eilrontery, yes. You must
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06

excuse me, or rather, / shall be pleased
to excuse you"
Got circus ticket about your
clothes anywbere2"
"Close the door after you. please2"
"Give me circus ticket and I'll
send you an article. No2 got none2
ls 1t possibleg Sitting right here
almost within sight of the tent and got
no tickets. ! must say that journalism
In this town Is at low ebb. -
Arkansas Traveller.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
WASHINGTON CRITIC
WHEN, OH WHEN!

When, oh when will this consumed
shirtfront spelling, hot and humid
Spell Of wretched weather end
When New York have shade aud shelter
From the tropic heats that melt herr
When the Kind north wind befriendp
Come, oh long-expected cold wave,
In thy frigid fountains lave
This unhappy, weary town;
Seal the CULTS Of persplration
With thy gentle congelatlon,
Drive the naughty mercury down.
Sol, great Sol, the lusty hothead,
He would have us all hot potted
Save us from his fiery wrath.
In your crystal vaulted grotto,
West wind, north wind, lluger not; o
Speed along your ocean path.
BY the collars wilted, crumpled,
By the cuffs and tempers rumpled,
Respite we beseech from woe;
Weather clerk, have done with fooling;
To all winds and waves most cooling,
Cry out; "Gallagher let her gol"
New York Sun.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
FROM Is. n a. station.

For Baltimure--j. G:3O. $40. 7:5O, $50 and IS
a. m; 1910, i;2i, 3:i5, $3.50, is30, 49, t:iO,
$50, G45 1870, s:25 aud li:30 y. IN. On sun
DAY, G:80, Iai0, % and g.ij a. M; ls!j, 1880,
$3.50, iAO. iIO, 5aO, Gi5, ss!5, il31p. m,
For Annapuiis-diU, ~ u, M, and 1910 and
i.35 T. m, sunday, h:,N a, IN. anu i:i0 u. IN.
For Point OF Rocks Frederick iOsbj "a. IN. /;
b!5Op. IN. Frederick on Sunday, l:ib u. IN.
For points In Shenandoah Valley as far as
luray-3.lj y, IN, daily, except sunday.
For GaltheTShnrg-nui aud lu;in A. M 1880,
idO $40, b.di, s;jj ana il3aU y, IN. daily, OK
Cept sunday; on Sunday, 1910 a. m, lis,
5sit shj and ii;!O b. m.
For llagcrstown-lu:lO a. m. and $3.50 y. m.
daily, except uuduy.
For thicago-iu5j "A, m, $40 y. IN. daily.
For Pittshurg-iO:j "a. IN, ss55 p. IN. daily.
For Cincinnati, Louisville and st. LOUIS 10
aud $40 y. IN daily,
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL.
Petroleum.

b. X. Plain & Co., st. Cloud Building,
furnish the following OIL quotations.:
Closed yesterday, 57a; opened to-day, 57l;
highest, 512; lowest, 57s; leo p. M, 57s.
New York Stock Market.
The following have been furnished by
A. Maceill Il Co, bankers and brokers, 5l5
Seventh street northwest:
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
DRUNKENNESS
Or the Liquor Habit Can lie Cured
by Administering DIR. Haines'
Golden Specific.

Can be given In cup OF cofee or tea with
out the knowlec &c Of the person taking 1t. II
is absolutely harmless, and will effect per-
manent and speedy cure, whether the patient
j a moderate drinker or an alcoholic wreck
II has been given In thousands of cases, and
IN every Instance a perfect cur has followed.
1t never fails. The systeii once impreg-
mated with The Specific, 1t becomes an utter
lmUos,ibility for the liquor appetite tu exist.
For sale by 5, + Ware, under Ehhltt House;
X. X, HclVhvnsiine, Fourteenth street and
Vermont avenue, Washington
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
Excitement I'm Texas.

Great excitement has been caused In the
recovery Of Mr.. j. Z. Corley, who was so
helpless that he could not turn in bed or
raise his head; everybody said he was dying
Of consumption. A trial bottle Of DR.. Kings
New Discovery was sent him. Finding re-
lief be bought large bottle and box of
DR.. Kings New Life Pills; by the time he
had taken two boxes Of pills and two bottles
OF the Discovery he was well and had gained
in flesh thirty-six pounds. Trial bottles of
this great discovery for consumption free at
Stott, Cromwell & Co.'s.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
Academy of the Holy Cross,

1872 MASS. AVE N. W,
Will resume first Monday in September. Af-
fords every facility for acquiring thorough
and accomplished education. The musical
department, embracing Harp, Piano, Organ
Guitar and Banjo, Is directed by thoroughly
accomplished teachers. Painting In Lustre,
oil and Water Colors Special attention paid
to Bookkeeping and the Higher Mathematics
Attached TO the academy Is Department for
Little Boys
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
AIsltEy ALA
At Is and T.. station.

From Boston-ioi5 a. IN. tExpress.
From New YOrk-53j, 8, and 10: % "a. M: i:3O
., $40, dimited). $40 tnewj, Sl5, s:55
From Baltimore-5:3o, 6U5, 8, s35, 5J5, 0.20
and i0A5 a, m: l;31, 9, $40, q $50, 7I5
From Chicago, st. Louis, PittshuFg and Cin-
cinnati-6:Oj and $50 a. IN; $50 and 7i5
pm.
From Buffalo, Elmira and Ilarri-burg-g3O a.
m. and I:i5 y. m
From Manas sas, Thoroughfare Gap and Front
ROyal-gA1 "A. M, except Sundays,
From WarrentOn- $40 a. M, l''Ol' s'S' ana
From Atlanta, New Orleans and Lynchburs-
$40 a. m. and 1904 and s:9 % ~.
From Popes Creek Line-5:35 a. IA. (eXceat
sundays and $50 p. IN.
From Philadclphia-5:3J, 8 and i0i5 a. m, and
100, :, $40, 4, 1;i5 new, Sl5, s.i5 and iOl7
From Richmond and the south-li.sia. M;
From AieEandria"ia;a @ except Monday, s:a5,
$50, 335, 9;i7, lO:35, and u ~ a. m;
m. Sundays at 1890, ssaJ ana il;2i a. M,
$50, 9:5l and II p. m.
From Cincinnati, Louisville and St Louis
From Fort Monroe, o. Newport News and Nor.
folk-3A0 y, m, daily except sunday.
From Round Hill, Leesburg and points ON W.
o. W.-siOa. m. and 3:55 p. IN. The even
Ing train does not run ON sundays.
At Il. Il q. station.
From Baltlmore-O:3O, $40, $50, 10. iO:S5, iO;i5
and ii;l6 a, m; l;50, 305, 4iO, $50, 6:35,
i'lO, 8, sa5 and $50 y. m; g % a. m. on
Sunday, $40, 10, l0:35, lO:i5 u. IN; ESQ, 30j,
520 0:35, s, sab, $50 p. IN; Eco a. m.
From Annapolis-ss3O and iO.Sj a. m 1880 and
5:20p. IN, (sunday iO:35 a. M. and d35 p M
From Frederick-s25 D:}j a m, and is!O,
sl1 .. IN daily, except Sunday On sun
cav, $50 a. IN.
From llarpers Ferry -5l5 p. m. daily,
From Gaithersburg-7ii, S:25, 9:35, Ii:35,
q. m. SOB 4, 5;lj, S;l7 and 1895 p. M sun
day; s:.t, lO3Oa, m, Bio say and II 20 p IN.
From liagerstowD-l:i5 a. m. and ll5, 4s!O,
SiT y. m, daily, except sunday.
From Chicago and Pittsburg-6a2O and 7:2O q.
m. and i:2u p. m. daily.
From Cincinnati, Louisville and st. Louis
Glu a. m. aud 1873 D. m daily.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
2sfIllA! A!s||

Thoroughly cleanse the blood, by using
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, and
good digestion, a fair skin, buoyant spirits,
strength and health will be established.
Golden Medical Discovery cures all hu-
mors, from tho common pmple, blotch, or
eruption, to the worst scrofua, or blood
poison. Especially has 1t proven its efficacy
In curing Salt-rheum or letter, Fcver-sores,
Hip joint Disease, Scrofulous Sores and
swcllings, Enlarged Glands, and Eating
Ulcers.
Golden Medical Discovery cures Consump-
ton (Which is Scrofula Of the Lungs), by
nnd s WHSEEong WSnE
Splitting Of Blood, Shortness of Breath,
bronchitis, Severe Coughs, Asthma, Chronic
Nasal Catarrh and kindred affections, it is
Il sovereign remedy.
For Torpid Liver, Biliousness, or "Liver
Complaint" Dyspepsia, and Indigestion, it
Is an unequalled remedy. Sold by druggists.
DIR. PIERCE'S PELLETS-Anti.
Bilious ana Cathartic. 20 cts. vial,
by druggists.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
"AIderney Dairy wagons.

Fresh Alderney butter, churned every
morning and delivered In ID "Ward"
prints, 40c. per lb. Also cottage cheese,
buttermilk and sweet milk, SC. per qt.
Cream, 15c. per pit.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
NJ. a. DAUPHIN,
New Orleans, La.
Address Registered Letters to
New Orleans National Bank,
New Orleans, La.

REMEMBER that the presence Of Generals
Beauregard and Early, who are In charge of
the drawings, IL n guarantee of absolute fair
ness and integrity, that the chances are all
equal, and that no one can possibly divine
what number will draw prize.
"REMEMBER, also, that the payment Of
prizes Is GUARANTEED BY FOUR MA
lIONAL BANKS of New Orleans and the
tickets are signed by the President Of an In
stitution whose chartered rights are rccog'
nized in the highest Courts; therefore, beware
of all limitations and anonymous schemes
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
MEDICAL

WEAK, uNDENELOPED PARTS of
the body enlarged and strengthened, Full
particulars sent ,sealedl free. ERIE MEDl-
CAL CO., BUFFALO, n. Y.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06
EDUCATIONAL.
SHORTHAND s. TYPE-wRITlNG
SITUATIONS
EDUCATIONAL,
IN THREE MONTHS' TIME

ITO ART STUDENTS AND PARENTS.
i At the ACADEMY OF FINE ARTS, SOL
L St, one can receive the most thorough in.
struction in every style of drawing and
painting: years of study saved. Mrs. I. Il.
MORRILL,, the founder and teacher, has had
twelve medals and studied fifteen years In
Europe with the most celebrated artists.
Particular attention to sketching from ma.
tute. Children saturday. $40 per year.
The Washington critic., 1887-08-06

chicago Markets..
The following summary is by b. X. Plain
& Co., st. Cloud Bulldog, Ninth &
streets: