Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-09-15
LATE NO MORE.

LAIE M NUKE.
Don't sit up for me on any acco unit,
said Mr.. Blinks. 81 have my latch
key. I've told you [ should be late
and when | return | shan't disturb you
I'll just lie down in the spare bedroom
So you'll not sit up, Eliza.
every will, William" said Eliza, with
an injured sigh. ''But / might just as
we'll sit up as not. I've often told you
| never sleep wink when you are out
late"
Nonsense said Mr.. Blinks. ..You
can be under no anxiety; no reason
why you should not 90 to Sleep"
Mr.. Blinks finished his business, and
at twilight, having his dress-coat and
accessories at the Office, proceeded tc
array himself for the feast he was tc
attend, and calling a cab, took his way
to the place of festivity.
He had c jolly evening jollier than
usual. for the knowledge that he had
forbidden Mrs. Blinks to sit up for him
inspired him.
At two in the morning he made his
way home, singing to himself occasion
ally, and now and then compelled to
across his memory.
Always before the fact that Eliza
was sitting up for him had caused Mr..
Blinks to be somewhat abstemious as
to wine; but now, he had ordered her
to retire, he had arranged matters SO
they were all in his own hands, and he
was not as steady on his feet or as
clear Of comprehension as he might
have been.
He was also unsteady inclined, and
uttered melodious notes as he made his
way home.
As he stumbled upstairs in the dark,
and felt his way to the spare bedroom,
he muttered to himself:
''This is just as it should be- Eliza
shan't sit up for me again"
Then, having bumped his head
against bedstead, he took off his coat
and boots, gave UP the rest as q bad
job, retired, tangled inextricably in a
maze Of counterpanes, and Immediately
fell asleep.
In short time he was awakened by a
Orange smell of tobacco-smoke.
Lifting himself on his elbow, he
looked about the room, and saw, in the
moonlight, by the window, q figure
draped in some kind of a gown, and
smoking a short pipe.
A hazy idea that this was Eliza, who
had disobeyed him, and had also taken
to tobacco, entered his mind.
"Itold you not to situp for me, dear,
he said, rebukingly "And when did
you learn to smoker"
And then masculine voice cried:
''What the deuce!-
The gas flashed up, and he saw before
him q stout man in a dressing-goWn,
who, having stared at him a moment,
cast away his pipe, tucked up his
sleeves, and advancing towards the
bed.
Blinks was still dreamy. At last:
''Whv, who are you?" he said. ''And
what do you want in my housep"
That is very nice dodge" cried
the other; ''but it won't do.
$50, l understand it now" Blinks
said, quite wide awake at last, and com
pretending that this was a burglar,
who had hidden in the spare bedroom.
And without word, ne sprang from
the BED, and grappled with the
stranger.
The other grappled with him.
Each was intent on the same object
to thrust the other out the door.
They tumbled downstairs together
smashed the hall hat-stand, fell through
the glass in the door, stumbled, bruised
and scratched, out upon the steps, and
clutching each other tightly, roare6
"Police!"
At the same moment, a window mex
door went up, a head in curl-paper:
was thrust out, and female voice
screamed "Policew also.
1t was Mrs. Blinks, firm in the con
viction that burglars had arrived a
last.
II. A policeman heard the cries.
He summoned another.
The usual course of events would
have been procession to the station
house.
But the officers were men of grea
minds and wonderful discernment.
One of them asked:
ssWhat is the matterp"
81 found this man burglariousl
concealed in bedroom of my house,
said Mr.. Blinks. Il give him i
charge.
.sBah!" said the other. This is
deep rascal. | found him in bed in ~
room. l live at number twenty, here
The rest of the family are in til
country, and I'm, so to speak. keepin
house. Jilkins-I think you know III
officer"
"Why, yes. know you very vel
Mr. Jilkins," said the policeman
1--WE spoke to each other as you passe
halt an hour ago. said Yood-eveI