The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-11-30
PITH AND POINT.

1ue IippleI laNoiiIe Uooh-h Auutos-
A carpenters work generally goes-
against the grain. 81
A chap being ask what he took for O.
cold, replied: "Four pocket handker-
chiefs day."
DR.. Collyer says work is like medicine.
Perhaps that is why so many try to avoids
it.-Detroit Free Press. '".. 80. -,
One reason why the homely girl takes
the scholarship prize Is because she looks
into books more thsninto mirrors Pea
yune. .-... -. - ~ 80
Considering the price of fashionabls.
bonnets, we begin to think the word
"millionaire is but corruption Of mill
iner.-Lye. -
Cowardice is usually to be abhorred,
but an amateur musician who is afraid To-:
touch violin would be universally re-
spected. Washington Critic. s
Young Wife: "I want you to kill q
chicken for me tonight, john" Young,
husband "All right. Just toss me .
hunk of that cake. ."-New Haven Neacs.
"Never allow a fish to lie if he can bes
hung conveniently" says popular cook
book. This is also good rule to apply
to fishermen, as well.-S0msruille Jour
nal. sIs
Between the ages of thirteen and
eighteen years girl knows something.
From eighteen to twenty-five she thinks
she does. After that she wishes she did.
Gold Leaf.
In Costa Rica there is not single mix
linery store. Married men who want
tickets for Costa ..Rics should 60 up to-
the office before the rush begins.-Nev
York Neus.
The meanest man so far on record lives
in this city. His wife asked him to give
her pet, some animal that would stick
to her, and the next evening he brought
home leech.-New York News. (
"Heres Webster on a bridge" said:
Mrs. Partington, as she handed to Ike
new unabrid ged dictionary. "Study il.
contentively, and you will gain good
deal of Inflammation. "-leras SJtings.
They went to see the city,
Two Of the rural class,
And one blew in his money,
And one blew out the gas
The one who blew the gas out
Was buried yesterday;
Dead is the other also
Dead broke, that is to say.
Boston Courier.
sIlove to hear the welkin ring" said
Cedric, sadly. 1T may be so," quoth the
Princess de Ia Swampoodle, placing her
tiny hand upon his new overcoat, .sbut
give me a wedding-ring."-NeW York
Journal.
Family man Ito family physician. .-'I
wish you would give me my bill for pro-
fessional services during the past SIX
months, doctor2" Family physician
(making out bill. D.-''The amount is very
small, Mr.. Smith. I am sorry that l
haven't been able to do more for YOU"
-Epoeh. "
Britisher-"And have you any-aw-
pawk-in Cincinnaughty like Hyde
Pawk, We know2" Miss Bacon-"Any
pork! Well, in good round fat numbers,
/ should say about $4,000 to the square
mile" Brit;sher-"Fifty thousand square
miles of pawk! By jove, now you really
surprise me, Miss Baccn."-Ha'Ter's
Bte1r.
"My family is very ancient" remarked
an English tourist in Ohio. "It dates
back to the Crusades." $50 does mine, "
replied the Buckeye. "My mother was a
Crusader herself. And what noble
stand they made against the liquor
traffic, too" "Aw," said the English
man, considerably mystifcd. -Pitts5urg
Chronicle. -
"Sir, love your daughter Mercy,
Pray believe me, Mr.. Perry,
For herself, and not her money;
Trust me, I'm not mercenary.H
Came the answer like an echo,
As the heartlcss Banker Perry
Coldly looked the youngster over
And responded: "Mercy' Naryr''
Chicago Tribune.