Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1887-10-26
wTTTICIsMS.

When hens shed their feathers it is
sometimes best to shed the hens.-Lo'ceH
Courier.
az do wish, - remarked the white horse,
YEARLY, 'tthat auburn. haired girls would
try and keep indoors more. ~ Wash'"gt0"
Critic
Even the God of Nature helps to cele-
brate the Presidents trlumphal tour oy
giving US two full moons in October
DalHth Photographer.
Brown saws that he would enjoy playing
solitaire more if he could tell whether II
WAS he or the other fellow that got beat
Washington Critic.
The King of Siam has 5000 wives. de
is a monarch of extraordinary hrmness ana
and courage. These facts naturally group
themselves. Washington Critic.
There seems to be something in every
occupation that has its peculiar influence
ON the minds of men. While actors often
become crazy, shOemakers always retain
their senses to the last.-DHtGth Pdrd-
graPher.
Biologists say the rocks that abound here
ARE of the Silurian age. From the way
real estate dealers handle dirt We are led
TO the belief that the present is Seizure
you-in age also.-Daiath Photographer.
When an Irishman went into Chinese
laundry and told the Monaghan in charge
n hurry up his washing, because he hadn't
y clean shirt bosom TO his back, that was
bull in a China shop, wasn't it?'-1erdS
SittiRgs.
"A pretty hard walk, wasn't it," in
uuired citizen of one of the parading fire
plen.
ION the contrary" replied the red
shirted hero, looking in search OF boot
black; at was decidedly soft one. y
YoRkerS Statesman.
81 don't know what to do with the
hired girl" said young wife. Shes
absolutely useless, and yet hate to dis
charge her,"
why don't you teach her to light tine
| fire with Kerosene inquired her hus
| band. - Washington Critic.
We have read of melting strains OF
| music, but it seems a little late in the
season for it now. Ii they could be Inn
over into echoes OF the past and placed Oh
exhibition there ought to be good sale
for them next year for campaign purposes
--DuIUth Photographer.
How are You Micky? Where have
you BEEN said one tramp to another.
"Pye been attending TO my damage
| suit
Your what
MY damage suit. was arrested iOl
| profanity - Washington Critic.
Is Yonkers as large today as it was two
DAYS ago? We have been led to ask thi:
| question by the appearance Of our hremeI
! visitors last night. They certainly carried
large quantity OF Yonkers real estate
home, provided they took their boots home
! with them. IORksrs Statesman.
Able Editor-Nuch news in your de
| plrtment to day:
Political Editor-NO, it's dull, very dull
Dull. eh:'
YES; no new parties have been started
since breakfast. "-Omdhd World
II see you're printing good dea
about the correct thing in fall styles, >
! said tailor To AN editor.
YES, sir"
well, when you're going III on thai
tack suppose you print something about
the correct thing in settlement OF bills. y
| WishRglOE Critic.
When two women who were school
mates together meet after a separation Of
| five years, there is q likelihood OF sudden
lingual freshet,' saws the Boston Courier,
and the organgrindcr who should carry
his instrument into their neighborhoOd
expecting itS music to be heard would get
| lett.