Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1887-12-14
Nnmuruns department.

Anmprpns department.
Color BL1NDNEss.-Two ex-conductors
of the Missouri Pacific met in the rotunda
of the Grand Pacific yesterday afternoon
and began to discuss the reasons Tor their
discharge.
II was fred" said one, "because I was
color blind"
81 didn't know" said the other, "that
conductors we're obliged to undergo the
same test in regard to colors as the engin-
eers."
"They don't; but my color blindness
went so far that I couldn't tell the differ
ence between the color of the company's
money and my own."-Chacago Herald.
No CURE FOR oDIvERS."-Governo
Taylor, of Tennessee, recently told OF a
colored clergyman who preached a sermon
on the text: Sand the multitudes came to
him and he healed them of divers diseas-
this is a terrible text. Disease is in the
world. The small pox Stays its hundreds,
the cholera its thousands and the yellow
fever its tens of thousands, but, in the Ian
guage of the text, if you take the divers,
YOU are gone. These earthly doctors can
cure smallpox, cholera and yellow fever II
they get there in time, but nobody but the
good Lord can cure the divers"
NOT AN ENCOURAGING PROSPECT
Doubtful Party Ito gentleman)-Can you
assist nae, sir, to a tri1e? Pm a stranger
in q strange land 10000 miles from home:
Gentleman-My conscience! Where Is
your home?
Doubtful Party-Australia.
Gentleman (handing him q cent)-HoW
do you ever expect to get back there?
Doubtful Party balancing the penny
Well, if / don't do better than this, SIR, L
s'pose I'll have to walk.-Drake's 1Td0e-
ers' Magazine.
SoLoMoN's NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. said"
remarked the dominic, as he carefully
trimmed a.birchen switch foul feet long
before going into committee Of the whole
on the state of the country. solomon
said, Spare the rod and spoil the cnl'o'
aYes," said the trembling minority
member of the committee, "6ut see What
awful children Solomon raised"
And while the master thought n
thought and thought, the minority went
OUT 10 T6VlS6 Ills IcpOAe ohu
back.-Bmdette.
ps Agent SELLING preparation for re-
moving stains from clothing)-"I have
got here" Servant (who responds to the
agents ring)-"Excuse me, please; but
we are in great trouble here to-day the
gentleman Of the house has been blown
M in an explosion" Agent-"Ho ! hurt
much % Seryant-"Blown to atoms;
only a grease spot left of him." Agent
"Ha! Only a grease spot, you say?
Well here's a bottle of my champion erad.
icator which will remove that grease spot
in two minutes"
"A HOUSEHOLD HINT.-Mrs. Molly
Bipham, q newly married. lady, does not
know anything about housekeeping, put
she is anxious to have her husband believe
that there is nothing in the housekeeping
line that she does not know. He happen
ed to be in the room when the cook came
and said:
"Will you please glib me out de coffee?
De water is been a bilin' dis las nall
"Let the water boil, Matilda" replied
Mrs. Bigman, calmly "the longer 1t Dolls
the stronger 1t will be-"
No .TAsTE.-"Jenkins, I've got some
thing to tell you. 1t grieves me to say 1t,
but as a friend, I don't think l. ought to
keep silent"
81 saw Brown throwing kisses to your
wife," ,,
"Great Scott. I wouldn't have believed
II thought not"
"But, come to think of it, Brown never
did have any taste.-W Washington Crst1c.
A FATHERS PRIvILEGE.-Brown-As
your first baby is a boy. 1 suppose you
have the privilege of naming it.
Young Father-Yes, stree, l wouldn't
allow any one else to name that cherub.
"Have you thought OF a good name ior
him YETI"
"Dozens of 'em; splendid names; just
the thing but they won'tany OF them 40"
"Why not?"
"My wife won't have 'em."
CALL1NG.-Smith-I say, Dumley, you
have had some experience in love atalrs,
and I want your advice. There is a pretty
little widow in Harlem whom I devotedly
love. In paying my addresses how often
ought I to call upon her?
Dumley-She is a widow, you say:
Smith-Yes.
Dumley-Seven nights a weeks, myboy,
with a Wednesday and Saturday matinee.
MONTANA ALL READY.-Omaha Man
Montana wants to come into the Union,
eh?
Montana Man-That's just what we're
affar and we'll make it. too.
81 did not suppose Montana had enough
"Great Scott! We've got 1,40O,O 900 cat
tie, 100, 900 horses, 2,0O0,O 600 sheep and no
end of hogs.-OmahG World.
A SCIENTIFIC ScoRCHER.-Small Hulk
leyan-I say, nanny, dis yer friziology
say if a chile hab a narm long 'nutf to
reach to de sun wen he's bawn, he done
be dead m berried ~seventy-fve yeah TO-
eber he gwine feel de sco'ch.
Nanny (severely)-An'nias S'Phiry
Nebcudnezzah Jones, shut dat ar book, n
20 split de kindlin' m rest my po' brain.
Pears likes if too much larnin' I'll make
me mad.-Harper's Bazaar.
SIMPLY NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
me, sir, are you the son OF my old friend
Peterson?
B-No, ! am not related to him at all.
Al knew it as soon as l laid eyes on