Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-04-09
BILL NYE's NEW TEETH.
He Tells His Son All He Knows About Fill
ing Tottering Mouth.
Chicago News.

NhicHBo NEWS.
Your last issue Of the Retina. your
new thought vehicle, publised at New
Belony, was received yesterday. [ like
this number, | think, better than
did the first. While the news in it
seems lresher, the editorial assertions
are not so fresh. You do not state that
you "have come to stay" this week,
but | infer that you occupy the same
position you did last week with refer
ence to that.
lam more especially interested in
your piece abont how TO rear children
and the care OF parents. read it to-
your mother last night while she was
setting her bread. Nothing tickles me
very often at my time of life, and when
| laugh loud peal of laughter at any
thing nowadays it's got TO be a pretty
blamed good thing, | can tell you that.
But your piece about bringing up chill
dren made me laugh real hard. | en-
JOY piece like that from the pen of
juicy young brain like yours. IL al
most made me young again to read
the words OF my journalistic gosllng
son.
You also say that "teething is the
most trying time for parents" Do
you mean tnat parents are more fretful
when they are teething than any other
time? Your mother and me reckoned
that you must mean that. Ii so, it
shows your great research. How n
mere child hardly out of knee-panties, n
young shoot like you, who never was a
parent for moment in his life, can en-
ter into and understand the woes that
beset parents is more than can under
stand. II you had been through what
have while teething could see how
you might understand and write about
it, but at present do not see through
it. The first teeth cutas a parent
made me very restless. was sick two
years ago with new disease that was
just out, and the doctor gave me some
thing for it that made my teeth fal!
like the leaves of autumn. In six weeks
after began to convalesce my mouth
was perfectly bald-headed. For days
| didn't bite into Ben Davis apple
that didn't leave fang into it.
Well, after that saw an advertise
ment in the Rural Rustler-n paper |
used to take then-of place where
you could get set of teeth Tor six dol
lars. | didn't want to buy a high
priced and gaudy set OF teeth at the tail
end OF such life as | had led, and
knew that teeth, no matter how expen-
siye they might be, would he of little
avail to coming generations, so | went
over to the place named IA the paper
and got an impression OF my mouth
taken.
There is really nothing in this life
that will take the stltl-necked pride out
OF aman like vlewinga plaster cast OF
his tottering mouth. The dentist fed
ME with Il large la,ldle iull OF putty or
plaster of paris, reckon, and told me
TO hold it In my mouth till it set.
don I remember Il time in all my
HE when the earth and transitory
things ever looked so undesirable and
so triting AS they did while sat there
in that big red barber chair with my
mouth full OF cold putty. felt just as Il
man might when he is being taxder-
mied.
After awhile the dentist took out the
cast. 1t was cloudy day and so it
didn't look much like me after all. Ii
1t had would have sent you one. Al
ter I'd set again two or three times, we
got a pretty fair likeness, he said, and l
went home, having paid six dollars and
left my address.
Three weeks after that small boy
came with my new teeth.
| They were nice, white, shiny teeth,
and did not look very CHASTITY after |
had become used to them. | wished at
first that the gums had been dpller
red and that the teeth had not looked
so new. put them in my mouth, but
they felt cold and distant. / took them
out and warmed them in the sunlight
People going by no doubt thought that
l did it to show that was able to have
new teeth, but that was not the case.
wore them all that forenoon while
/ butchered. There we're times during
the forenoon when | wanted to take
them out, but when man is butcher
ing he hates to take his teeth out just
because they hnrt.
Neighbors told me that after my
mouth got hardened on the inside it
would feel better.
But, oh, how it relieved me at night
to take those teeth out and put them
OH the top OF cool bureau, where the
wind could blow through their whls-
kerr, How | hated to resume them in
the morning and start in on another
long day, when the roof Of my mouth
felt like big red hunion and my gums
Ii Ike pale red stone bruise.
A yer ago, Henry, about two-thirty
in the afternoon. | think it was, left
that set of teeth in the rear flank OF a
barbecue | was to in our town.
Since then | have not been so pretty,
perhaps, but | have no more unicorns
on the rafters of my mouth and my
note is JUST good at thirty days, as
ever it was.
You are right, Henry, when you go
on to state in your paper teethiug is
the most trying time for parents.