Little Falls transcript., 1887-06-03
Married Life In New York.

I ~ = u III
! lived married couple named Beasly.
Mrs. Beasly's temper was proverbial
for its Observation-Disclosures, to out.
siders there seemed to be harmony in
the family, but it did not last very long.
They separated, and Mrs. Beasly
BROUGHT suit in the Court of Common
Pleas for alimony. / ~. = .s.=
The presiding Judge. thinking it was
possible for the couple to reconcile
their differences, put the husband on
the stand. He was not very intelli-
gent looking man, and his personal
beauty was marred by turn-up nose.
! Mrs. Beasly, a vicious looking female,
was also in court
''What made you desert your wife?''
| asked the court. ..
Beasly-"She almost murdered me
with gutta-percha beefsteaks and base
ball apple -dumplings. Some of my
| friends are using her crul]ers as paper
weights. Besides. everything in the
house was cold except her temper"
Mrs. Beasly---''W Ill your Honor ask
him how about his coming at o'clo ok
| Monday morning from sacred concerts,
smelling of sacred beer and smoking
sacred cigars?'
Judge--''1 will give you an oppor-
| tunity to talk as soon as l ask him a
! few questions.
Mrs. Beaslv sat down and looked at
| her husband in manner that was CAL
culated to make his hair curl :,
Judge-''When you found your home
disagreeable did you reason with your
wife?''
Beasly-~"I did, your honor. I said
to her: Sarah, by indulging in fret
full temper you ALLEVIATE those on whose
affection much of your comfort de-
pends.''
"What did she reply?"
'Rats!''
cit seems you don't know how to
manage your wife," continued the
Judge.
"Oh, yes do
''Then il you know how, why don't
you Go it and save the court and iuries
trouble?"
"Why don't l manage her if I know
how?"
..Yes.''
'che won let, me.
'Your Honor" interrupted Mrs.
Beasly, Il have always been perfectly
willing to obey his commands, but /
want something to say about what
those commands will De.
Beasly-''She never showed me any
consideration but once, and that was af-
ter she left me. She started a board
ingg-hOuse and sent me word that she
would not allow me to eat any meals at
her table. 1t was her first and last act
of kindness to me. When I told her
that was going to leave her she joked
about it. She said she felt completely
unnamed"
Judge-''Now. Mrs. Beasly, what
have you to say?'
Mrs. Beas]y-"He treated me with
unheard OF cruelty. On one occasion
he compared me to camel. He said
| always had nv back up. On another
occasion he refused to buy me a seal
skin sacque.'
Mr.. Beasly--'I admit that I refused
to buy her a sealskin saque. 1t SEEM
ed so confoundly ridiculous, your Hon
or, to shove four-dollar woman into
a three hundred dollar garment What
would she look like? AS you see, she
hasn't got any style about herr
Mrs. Beasly-' There, your Honor,
that's the sort of talk I've had to put
up with for years.
Judge-'It is very plain that neither
one of you turned out as the other ex-
~pected.'
Mrs. Beasly-s'As far as he is con-
cerned he turned out late in the morn
ing and he turned out late ut night.
Sacred concerts have been the ruin of
him. I think, your Honor, am en-
titled to almony."
Mr.. Beasly-''She was always after
money of some kind. There is no
change to speak Of in her.
Mrs. Bcasly-"When he was counting
me he used to call me his dear gazelle
and ask lne to sit ON his knee We
hadn't been married month when, on
my asking hum to take me along with
him to the sacred concert, he flew at
me as if I was q tiger and roared out:
Who's runnin' this ranch, anyhow?' "
Judge-|'Do you think you cannot
come to an nderstandingp'
Beasly-''Yes, to separate for good
and all. ="
Mrs. Beasly--"Now you are shout
ing. That's what am here for.'
MIR. Beasly-"And I've had all the
combine | need for the. rest of my
life. This country is big enough for
us both, provided she don't chase me
around the block with tin djpper
full Of scalding water, as she has often
done"
Judge-'I don't believe, Mr.. Beasly
that you have sufficient grounds for
divorce"
Beasly-s'Well, if your Honor will
get her to make you a cup of coffee
you will change your mind, if you sur
yive long enough
Judge-"I must be very bad coffee
to furnish sufficient grounds for di-
vorce. I'll make an order that you
pay your wife twenty-five dollars a
month alinaony and counsel fee of
fifty dollars until the suit for separa-
ton is, decided. ."-AleJ. Sweet, IN New
YorE Mereury.
Tho Gofn Cihn