davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
TWO KINDS OF CAPITAL.
The Comparative Value of Money aud of
knowledge and Skill.


In 1913 two young man graduated
from an interior college. When they
were about to leave foY home the presi-
dent shook them heartily by the hand
and wished them success in life.
''Ah, DOCTOR" said one, lit has come
to jim already. He has a fortune of
fify thousand dollars. But l have no
capital to begin life with
Jim's fortune was large one for
those days. He had invested it and
for few years lived on the interest of
it. The investment proved bad one,
and he lost every thing. He had nei-
Their trade, profession nor business
habits. Hence he remained for the
rest of his life poor man. His COM
rade, knowing that success depended
on his own efforts, studied profession
which, without a dollar of capital.
brought him competency, and at last
wealth.
Young men are apt to estimate money
alone as capital. That one of their
number who has inherited money is,
they think, better equipped for the
struggle of life than any other. They
should look into the comparative
commercial value of money and of
knowledge and skill, before they are
quite so sure of that. Figures, in this
case, tell no lie. Of late years, money
in this country has decreased in value
as a money-getter, while human ability
has increased. That is, the income from
money invested ut interest has dimin-
ished while the compensation for serv-
ice rendered has become larger.
For example, a capable domestic
servant in our cities may annually lay
by a sum equal to the income upon
three thousand dollars in Government
bonds; and an industrious mechanic.
in steady employment, earns sum
equal to the interest of twenty thousand
dollars ut four per cent. a teamster
in Montana, or Il cowboy in Colorado,
finds that his strength and skill are
worth to him, in money each year, as
much as would be forty thousand dol
lars invested in the same lands, even if
he could buy them at par.
The lawyer or physician in 4 country
town who earns his two thousand
dollars annually, if suddenly debarred
from practice would require sixty-six
thousand dollars in bonds to yield him
the same income; and the editor-in-
chief of great city daily has a power
in his brain worth to him. in hard cash,
the capital of half million.
Such estimates, of course, vary with
place and time, but they will serve our
purpose if they convince the boys and
girls who read them that they have in
their brains and hands, while the power
of brains and hands remains, actual,
capital. more perma-
nent and secure, and far more satisfy
ing, than any gold bearing bonds
Youths Companion.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
DON'T FEEL or WORRY.
Words OF Advice for Exhausted and Merry
Gus EouseLaeDerS.

.'Everv one OF these doors creals 50
horribly that it almost sets me wild, "
exclaimed tired housekeeper, who was
irving TO rest q little after the lahoTs Of
wearisome dag. Now this was not
the first, perhaps Il was the twentieth
time she had made the same, or a SINH
lar remark about The cgeailing Of the
doors. when with the aid of bottle Of
oil and feather she might have made
them swing no;se!cSsly and saved her
self al the annoyance she had suffered.
Ii is great deal easier to make >U@-
@cstioas than 20 follow them: but it
seems 10 me that the golden rule for
hOUseSceper. might be this: ''lf any
thing goes wrong Tor which there is
remedy, apply it as soon rs possible; if
there is absolutely no remedy DO not
fret. but MAKE the best Of it.
believe that often il Is NOT the work
that makes Us feel so thoroughly weary
at the end If the week rs Worrying
over it. remember Of fretting Il good
deal over some Thanksgiving pies. com
planning that l always spoiled them by
putting in too mucA of one thing or an
other, when my sister quietly remarked
that perhaps l put too much anxiety
into them. l saw the point, and re-
solved henceforth to DO the best ! could
with ny cooking. and To worry les
over results. OK course | had after
wards better success. and far more
peace of mind.
There are days in the experience of
every housekecper when every thing
seems determined TO 90 wrong, and Il
perfect avalanche Of little troubles and
perpleXities seem to overwhelm one.
Then, indeed, is she that ruleth her
spirit "bet5er than he that taketh Il
city"
But how often at the close of such a
day have we looked back and seen that
all came right ut last in spite OF our
forebodings, and we have wished so
much that we could have been self-c0n-
trolied and sweet-tempercd through it
all.
1t IS so natural to magnify little
troubles instead of remembering that
they are not worth fretting about. If
at breakfast the biscuits are little too
yellow, and the steak trifle overdone,
in almost every case no one Will be
troubled about it if You are not.
If the coffee is not just exactly right.
no one will notice it unless you call at
tention to it by some disparaging re-
mark. Especially should we guard
against a habit of fretting because of
the discomfort it causes those about us,
and the bad influence it has upon them.
If the housekeepcr frets the children do
the same, and the servants also, for
nothing is more contagious, and we
have any thing but . happy household.
However badly things may 90, nothing
IS gained by worrying over them, and
if we can not be always bright and
cheerful, we can at least endure
patiently till the storm passes over and
the sunshine returns, rs it surely will
in due Christian at TVOrE.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
THE FORTH BRIDGE.
4 Stupenduous Struc ure Eclipsing ANY
Thing OF the Kind Yet Erected.

| 4 Stupenduous Struc ure Eclipsing any
Thing OF the Kind Yet Erected.
Crossing and rccroSsing the Firth of
Forth few days since. 1 got Il good
sight of the great Forth bridge that is
now well on its way to completion. 1t
will he the wonder and admiration of
the world, the crowning triumph of
engineering genius. and our bold
Brooklyn bridge will have to take a
back seat. A distinguished engineer
recently said of this colossal work
without doubt the Forth brid~e is
the most stupendous structure ever at
tempted to be raised of iron or steel"
The whole of the work of the bridge is
of steel ION the cantilcver and central
girier SYSTEM" The entire length of the
bridge will be $500 feet. considerably
more than mile and a half The two
principal spans of the structure are
LOO feet each in length, two side spans
of 575 feet each, with the ends massively
supported and three intermediate piers.
In the middle Of the 1.700 feet span
there is an unobstructed passage for
navigation $50 feet above the high
water mark. From the foundation of
the Hottest pier to the top of the CAN'T
levers, the height is $50 feet, cor only
ten feet less than the great pyramid OF
Egypt" The most powerful pier
weighs 10000 tons.
According to report made the day
previous to my view of the structure the
materials put down on the spot up to
the present time reckon up 5000
cubic feet of granite and q, 900 tons OF
Portland cement. Thus far $50. DOC
cubic yards of masonry had been
erected in piers and abutments, $4,000
tons of steel in approaches and spars,
and 20. 600 more tons of steel is ready
for placing. At this time there are
80. 600 men at work in connection witt
this gigantic undertaking, and the
force will average 5000 men the veal
round. - Edinburgh Cor. LOUISVILLE
Times.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
Homemade Saving Machine.

A New York correspondent of an
Eastern paper tells how cross-cut saw
may be used to good advantage by one
man: One end of the saw-the handle
being taken offs hung by swinging
bar several feet long to the side of the
wood house. The swinging bar should
run between two horizontal strips, which
will make it run steady. To support
the stick which is to be sawed, a heavy
piece is fastened on the corner of the
shed. and crooked piece is fastened to
the side of the shed, either by mailing
from the inside or bolts, or by setting it
in the ground. The saw should have q
good set so it will go through the wood
without cramping. The longer the
swinging bar is the less rocking motion
the saw will have.-PrGirie Farmer.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
EGYPTIAN WOMEN.
Strange Laws and Customs Prevailing In
the Khedive's Dominions-


the Khedive's Dominions-
The afternoon drive is an imaginary
contact with the world; for. rs matter
of fact, + ladies might almost rs well
be at home. At four o'clock or there
abouts natty little brougham drawn
by pair OF long-taiied Russian horses
drives up to the door. and the ladies
for they almost invariably drive two
and two. a great lady accompanied by
a friend or a slave girl-are assisted
into the carriage with as much care as
If they were made of snow. The more
scrupulous ones will even hold q
parasol between their faces and the
coachman to prevent contamination
from side chances.
Most of them, however, start with
full intent to be seen as much rs posi-
BILE, aud after settling themselves down
on the satin cushions AMI assuring
themselves that the mirror is well
busted. the cigarettes and matches in
their places, the chocolate creams or
nougat fresh from the bakery and the
bouquet sweet and properly arranged,
slip off the habarah and are ready
to front the gaze of the curious. The thin
nest of yashmaks covers the reddcst
of lips and the chin. and well-kohled
eyes keep smart lookout for exchange
of compliments by passers-by. The
wives of the Pashas do not wear the
Turkish transparent yashmak, but cover
their mouths and the lower part of the
face with cambria or cotton burghoo
tied round the back of the head.
The Shoobra and Gezireh drives are
to Cairo much what the Row is to
London, and all the Beys and Pashas
don their best and either caracole forth
on prancing steeds or. more luxuriously,
are driven in the train of the harems.
If the lady is inclined to exchange
flowers, notes, cigarettes or even con-
versation no hindrance is likely to be
offered by the black ianitor on the box
seat of the driver. But talking must be
done in private. and some sidewalk or
otherwise secluded spot must be chosen
for any thing more than flying pass
ing compliment For in the East every
man is the guardian not only of his own
harem, but also of everybody else's.
A man may thrash his own wife to death
with very doubtful chances of anybody
intervening, but he may not look at his
nelghoor's harem.-iSatHrddy ReviesO.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
A Reformer's First Dutv

The first thing for a reformer to do is
to reform himself. Even if he be cor
rect on the one point which engages his
energy. he is likely to be faulty some
place else. and that even though it
should not do so, will interfere with his
usefulness. if not destroy it. Many
good causes suffer because the advocates
of them live in violation of truths and
proprieties that the common-sense of
men require that they should believe
and observe.-United Presbyterian.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
BEDDING ANIMALS.
How Farmers Can Add Much to the Com
fort of Their Live ST ock.


A mistake extensively made by farm
ers to-day is that of scantiIy bedding
stock. The economical use Of bedding
material evidently seems to be tie only
thing considered. While economy is
excellent in its place, it is by all means
out of place in this department of farm
work. All phases of this question when
fairly discussed plainly demonstrate the
fact that liberal use of bedding is al
ways a source of remuneration to the
farmer.
In the first place quite an amount of
time and labor is saved. Farmers take
pride in the appearance of their stock,
particularly the horses. To keep horses
and colts looking neat and clean, lots
of 'elbow grease is required in the use
of the curry comb and brush. A great
amount of labor is saved by generous
allowance of bedding. Not only is the
farmer benefited, but much is added to
the comfort and enjoyment of the beasts.
No more telling stroke to secure better
treatment can be made than in this
direction.
Another argument in favor of the
practice l have advocated is the saving
of liquid manure. The materials used
in bedding are dry and porous and are
adapted to absorbing of liquids. Few
farmers have stables so arranged rs to
preserve the liquid manure, the ingre-
dients of which are unsurpassed to Sc
cure the promotion of vegetable growth.
By the liberal use of bedding large
portion of this important fertilizer is
preserved for use on the fields.
The preservation of liquid manure in
this manner (and it can be accom-
plished no more conveniently, is
money in the farmers pocket. By
saving the fertilizer secured from his
farm stock during the year. the amount
necessary to be purchased will be
greatly !essened.
By literally bedding his stock the
farmer is not only remunerated to quite
a considerable extent. b,., he saves
time and labor and adds much to the
comfort of his animals.-N E. Farmer.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

Everybody has heard of "horse laugh"
but who has ever seen an equine gifted with
the power of speechl Such an animal would
be pronounced a miracle; but so would the
telegraph and the telephone have been a
hundred years ago. Why, even very re-
Gently cure for consumption would have
been looked upon as miraculous, but now
people are beginning to realize that the dis
eass is not incura5le. DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery will cure 1t, II taken IN
time. This world-renowned remedy Will
not make new lungs, but it VIII restore dis
eased ones to a healthy state when all other
means have failed. Thousands can CRATE
fully testify 10 this. All druggists.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

-COuntryman Ito bookseller
My wife wants me to git her tesla
.nent." Bookseller-"Ycs. sir. New
Testament, I SUPPOSED" Countryman
well, | dunno. If you've got one
that amt too much used up, l reckon
a secondhand one would suit her Just
as well "-UraEc'S IrGcei.erS' Naga-
zine.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

OLD pill boxes are spread over the land by
the thousands after having been emptied by
suffering humanity. What mass of sick
ening, disgusting medicine the poor stomach
has TO contend with. Too much strong medi
cine. Prickiy Ash Bitters is rapidly and
surely taking the place of all this class of
drugs, and in curing all the ills arisin g from
a disOrdered condition of the liver, kidneys,
stomach and bowels
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
The IDEAL BOILER.
An Invention That Must Epvolutiouizo
III, f.nra nf s-ctrr- Pntrnr.

An Invention That aiust Isrvolutiouizo
tho Cost of Fotor-Po"sr.
An intention Is announce" "Alch' II
the accounts gwen 81 Il are nee 1rJin
any very gross eE2%<e'a'ion' nus
work 4 revolution IN the app .-c''Di'ilY
ana III the cost OF Hl'c'i,Nlc'I il-''"I-
power. TIE inventor - e-S IN &c '.'lii
reduce the Ordinary ceih;HN l'f Do.l'r
space b. 10 less than - per cent!
The method proposed i the substitution
of a small copper boiler Tor the large
iron boilers EoT III use. i cylinder OF
copper. Of fifteen inches III diameter
aad twenty lGcAes lcA@' hi' Il ii'"i'-
spherical end. N Which are placed
loose pieces OF broken coupe. Al lie
opposite cad OF the vessel lW" pipes arc
lntrodurci-ole TO 'taa ~ Iiis "d',F'
and the other to Ic".' our Inc s'e''iil-
Through the first PIPE the Wa'ef j
forced so Is To spread ~ Il me 9i''"F
over tie broken copper, W-ich' L .
1aid. Immediately converts IL mo
steam
The chief consideration WAirI W'H.'
lead any prar-.c2, man 10 mas" INQUIRY
into Tie inventor CLAIMS i ;-'.-: '''5
conGEc.iylty u copper Is E-Ha!!E El-A'
being more than s!% .I.ies i.i.i' o. ron
If 1t nc PoSS.5ia--Viici We are H'' Il. It
position 20 cry" I,i;;';e p more en-
clent use 81 THIS property OF II" meal
than b@~ hitherto been done Il rS-'.i''.''''
of hrTlt- IN TO-, n no IDllJ BE eti.ctpti. On
the other !lahd' no s;i@h oli.ereHcc mas
been usually aiifiJi''" - II" c''.of'.'
power o. copper ana 81 'E"! ~ '', -
the boiler OF Inc locomotive ''.'..' WING
copper Kettles ana saucepan are inc
PRIDE OF the ho"a"''e'paf' we s..'C'l ~
disposed to siE ''ia1 Hi'"r II " III
Kettle Dolls i's'tF IMAM ~ q c"Pi't'" '''''
these hoWeFe.' ~ l--"Te t''''''. ''-., 80
the Hrst account O. tile !i't'.aE' l''i''''t-<
TO the conclusion lhaJ me c.aiHl HITS
Is neither tpS' J9cfo absurd nor On INC
otheF manu. extremely Prop''plc' A.
other consideration Is lhaI Il c".F.'
can mus dFiFe IRON from tie H1,"' IL
ma! III is lEIh DC "isi'o'7'','" ~
silver. 1akiA% ihe Ae'''-c'.'''"'''ii-'
power o. siivef IL LUZ. ina u ',''.''
Is 100, ana ih;-l OF ron ~ enc "'i''9
as low as 80. IL 4 siNI""l ei.lr'e:!ct =
mus atlrIDn'aOIc 20 Ihe tHer'lie COZ.
durtiVTty OF copper Allowing i'e '".-'-
neer 10 reduce me area I'll IL '..'.e-
boiler Cilded Ry ihaC Oh lhe i""Sa
pieces OF coppeD 20 L S->'h %
that or an IRON toIief' by lh' use OF
silver instead o. copper the gun may
become nlhefold instead o. SiN'".". II
Is not, however. by speculation
but by exhaustive eN. c.iheAt' liza, inc
new cl1ln! Is To De !eN'ei- an 'h''-
NOUS Stimulus world he %-Fcd ID NO
mechanical use or cam is a m"L''i-
power. II the most cUAlDr'a' nart 81
the machinery coHid DC reHUced III any
tm2@ Ike the aboVe-ln Ileated ratio
The inventor Is said 10 CLAIM IN econ
omy OF % per cent iii lneI. lie mar
gan between the the'Fesic power 10 %
obtained from The combustion OF Il
@iVaa wei@nt OF carbon aAd me ell
cheney OF even the best compound en-
gineS is such as to allow OF 4" murh
greater gain 10 tlf consumer IMAM ID
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
:" As CHARTS the tiger on his foes.
Eelnned IN by hunters, spears and bow:
And. ere he bounds upon the ring,
Gafa1-S tho nnfasr NJ mis- Sr1r5nV -

SetecsS llse CuJecl o. MS spring.
SO disease, in myriad forms, fastens is
fangs upon the human race. Ladies who
suffer from distressing ailments peculiar 20
their sex, should use DR.. Pierce's Favorlte
Prescription. 1t Is positive cure for the
most complicated and obstinate cases of
leUcorrhea, excessive flowing, painful men
situation, unnatural suppressiOns, prOlap-
sIs, or falling of the womb, weak back,
female Weakness" anteversion, retriever
sion, bearing-dOwn sensations, chrome con-
gestiCn, inflammation and liberation OF the
womb, inflammation. pain and tenderness
ovaries, accompanied with - internal heat. ="
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

A Canadian paper has been con-
ducting canvass on the annexation
question. OF the go persons who
expressed IN opinion. 800 favored ard
ITO opposed annexation Most of the
answers came from Nora Scotians,
who were almost unanimous in favor
of annexation. and these from On
tario and Quebec gave :; majority OF
nearly two 10 one that way.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

Husband dressing for m evening
>ntertainmenO-.'It seems 4 Iitiabl :
ching to me, my dear, that women
should wear corsets. Bat women are
weak creatures, az the best" Wife
" If you really wish me to 90 without
one, John, l viii" Husband (hasti-
ly)-" No; certainly not" - y. ~
Sun.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06
THE CHINESE WALL.
A Uanton Assault Upon the Time uorore
Oriental Structure.

Oriental Structure.
The ieonoclast IS again abroad. Afte
| demolishiag IN tara Wa>hia eton'
hatcie:. Tells Eat in archery. an,. Poca
hoasas' dcro;;al IL Captain john Smith
he TOOK Il raet and allowed the world t,
/ retain Il old tavorite> and cherish it!
Ge!usions and papalar beliefs which
| whether tine o. not. eL5Jaiod some
! lofty idea or held ED some worthy ex
! cmplar. Even if Washington never Gu
] the tree. Tell never saved III arrow FOL
/ the tyr;,nt. or Pocakontas nrver inter
! posed her own head 10 receive the mur.
fcrous blow Of Powhattan to..ahawk.
these pleasant Ge,u-.oa~ are object les
{ sons IL ;rU:h, patriotism ;,:G personal
affection and gratitude which l. j. well
30 retain. Thy are ao: only harmless
IN ther.se,vcs bat i.ay are the actual
/ living types OF great iucas.
For tlysc reasons the icorcc.ast has
rcv"r been q fayur:.e with the world.
People c,ia-t their S;l0crs;i..ans as
foaalv ~ 30 their faiths. TIE latest Of
The class who has broken is lone
-.icnce I- his lna.>.nr investigations
IS the French missionary. a:;l.c lar
riea. vino has recently published a
pamplila; - Gomeu rate thai he Chi
nc>e wall does not exist and rcvcr has
existed anal ,rgt the myth p. ne c,lIS
I. origina eli w:al another priest. the
Able Martini. who visited the country
in 1850 and set the story TRAVELLING.
which au writer's on China have ac-
cop.ad rs ,ru.b The IoDdo, Times
says that the Atb. ,,.,.iao has lived
T,T v.e~s Ii,a,tr,- "a si.rht IF what
wonid have L,.3 IA. nj wall had
there ben one. that he h::, studied the
,,.if;o,r IF ,,,..., ,,.,,, l..,... ,.,.o.sad tbn
ALLEGED line of fi.a wal, = we'll ~ Chi
nose history and that tho only foundo-
ton for the story is the fact that = Chi
nose Empcror hundreds Of wears a~o.
did contemplate buijding q wall. bu,
pavcr oot f.,rtI,rr tb,n the construction
Of some soUare towers. seryino as Ioo. J
deccHsns for villames. and not Is paris
OF a continuous whole.
Fven ,;ara the kbhn T,orrian corroct
in his statements what ocoasio, was
there f,r his maxine tba,p9 ua can
nor disturb thr imo~e 6xcd in the
memory Of every man and woman who
has hapn to school of His stately .+ruc-
tpre , 400 miles Iopo 20 cubifs birb
and - br,,j rnpnirr its COURSE
STRAIGHT on. REGARDLESS of all obstacles.
~oip% down into the valleys climhipo
the mountains. and crossinn the rivers
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

Diseases can be cured, if properly treated
in time, as shown by the following state
ment from d. c. Freeman. Sydney: "Hav-
ing been q great sufferer from pulmonary
attacks, and gradually wasting away for the
past two years, it affords me pleasure to
testify that SCOTT'S EMULSION of Cod Liver
Oil with Lime and Soda has given me great
relief, and cheerfully recommend it TO all
suffering in a similar way to myself. In ad-
ditiOn, would say, that IL is very pleasant
10 taEe.n
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

DON'T disgust everybody by hawking,
blowing and splitting, but use DR.. Sage'S
Catarrh Remedy and be cured.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

No STRANGER should visit the city without
smoking TaaSil's Punch &c. Cigar.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

Do YOU know what oftentimes awaits ron
II unfinished with medicinal protectoni
You can not safely live on newly cleared,
water scdden soil on the banks of low lying
streams, unless you are prepared to en-
counter malaria Take with you, or send
for, HoStetter's Stomach Bitters, provided
with which You can not only bid defiance to
miasma-born diseases, but also 10 affections
OF the stomach, liver, bowels and kidneys.
II also utilities the effects OF exposure to
GampnesS and fatigue.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

BEST, easiest to use and cheapest. Piso's
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. SOC.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

A PRICELY pear-the hedgehog and the
porcupine-B1stoA C0mnierc ~ BH!.stn.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

CREDIT differs from wine in this respect:
1t does not improve with &ge.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

WIFE saw you looking at
your old sweetheart. Miss Crimson,
to-day" Husband Well. she sat
right in front of Us" Vic But
you needn't have been quite So ;nta--
es;ed.' Husband" Why. E.;v daas
gjrl. vas thinking how much that
mole on her meek looked like a ripe
tomato" Wife Have little more
sugar in your tea. hubby" Omah1
HI; dld.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1887-10-06

An, THAT TwINGE! You're rheumatic.
Seek relief from Glenn's SULPHUR Soap.
HIPS Hair and Whisker Dye, sec. The best.