Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-11-05
QUEER COUNTRY THIS.
Carl Dunder Jumps on the Wrong Nan
and Becomes Sick all over.
detroit Free Press

Sergeant, vhas some warrant
oudt to ARE t me2" softly inquired
Carl Dander, 40 he tip-toed into the
Woodbridge street station house.
"Nct that | know of-why ?" re-
piled Sergeant BendaI.
Vheli, two or three days ago a
strange man comes in my place
Vhas l Carl Dunder? | vna All
right. MIR. Dunder / vhas Of the
Board OF Health, und | like to look
in your cellar for dead rats und
cholera Dot seems all right t. me,
und so | light der candle und he goes
doun, He yhas gone a long time,
und When he comes oop he says dol
cellar vhas all right. He vhas in
Now YORK, Chicago, Toledo uDd
odder places, und he neafer see sOoch
clean place"
Some swindler, O. course.v
Vhell, in der afternoons anodder
mans vhalks in on me. Vhas | Car.
Dunder? | vhas. All right. Mrl
Dunder, vhas dot sewer in your eel
lar all right? Ii he Wasn't DOT
sewergas Ill 5 der whole place und
you vhas taken to der bone yard.
Dot seems all right, and / let him
go down. lie vhas gone good
While, und When he comes opp he
says he vhas in Buffalo, Cincinnati,
Syracuse und Ba. timore, und he
neafer see sGoch sewer pefre.
He was another swindler."
"Vhell, dis morning the third man
comes in. Vhas | Carl Dunder? /
vaas al right. Mr.. Dundtr,
vhas der Fire Commission. Maybe
your cellar vhash ali right if you
vhas cut off by fire, und maybe she
needs some fire-escapes. Please light
dot candle und shall see. He vhas
gone twenty minutes, und When he
comes oop he wipes off his shin init
his elbow. Dot put some ideas in my
headt, but he says he vhas in Kansas
City, Omaha, Milwaukee and st.
Paul and ne neafer saw a cellar fixed
oOp like mine In case of fire he
could shump out like a rabbit"
What greenhorn you are +"
"Vhell, maype vhas. Igo down
cellar pooty quick to look aroundt,
und | find dot dos- iellers drink three
bottles of my wine und shteal some
more. Dot yhas game on me,
sergeant
"Of course it was
"Vhell, | made oop my mind dot
der next feller pays Tor all. Shust
after dinner he comes in. He vhas
sweet und shmiling. Vhas / Carl
Dunder? l vhas. All right. Mr..
Dunder | like to go down cellar to
see your-p
What?'
"Shust aboudt dot time | shump
for him, und in two minutes he vhas
pulverized. | make a mop of him,
und smash two tables nit his heels.
He crawls out doors after awhile, uad
when he vhas gone half an hour my
telephone rings. Hellol Vhas dis
Carl Dunder? He vhas. Vhell, Mr.
Dunder, you haf almost killed der
mans we sent to read your gas meter
und she vhill cost you fife hoondr0d
dollar to SETTLE
mo! And you pounded the wrong
man?p
"Vhell, how can / help it? One
day false expressman brings me a
shtone in a package und collects
eighty cents. Der next day anodder
man brings me a package, und after
/ lick him / find She vhas a bundle
from der shtore. One man comes in
und collects money to build shurch.
He vhas a swindler, und look oudt,
/ gif der next man some awful kicks,
und he proofs dot he vhas preacher.
You see, it vhas all pecause nopody
vhas like himself two times. Ser
geant!"
Well. I"
81 vhas going home und 60 to
Dedt. | Vhas seek all oafer. If ten
hoondred men come to shwindle me
it vhas all right und | doan say a
word. If you ring oop mytelephone
tonight und / vhas hanged by der
neck in de woodshed you can say dot
died because of such queer
country
Good Results i'm Every case.