Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-04-06
THU DEACONTS DINNER

BY HELEN FOREST GRAVES.
Tue good housewives Of the neighbour
hood often ssid that Mrs. Smart
ought to be the happiest woman in
the world.
ssSuch O. nice house as she lives lnl"
said Miss Boyce, who poor soul,
taught the district school, and "bcard-
ed around" like the scapegoat in the
Scripture wilderness.
s'Such pious man as the dear Dea-
con is |" added Mrs. Hopkins, whose
better half had once been sea cap
tain and who was still apt to be pro-
fame by fits aud starts, when the cat
tie got into the clover field, and the
midnight weasel marauded on his hen
coops and turkey-roosts.
"With store carpet on the best
room foor!" put in Mrs. Jones, "and
weekly newspaper, and white sugar
IN her tea every day of her life, and a
horse and wagon to take her to
meetin' Sundays"
Such was the opinion of society as
represented in Glen Hollow. Perhaps
Mrs. Deacon Smart was happy wom-
an. But we are told on the best au-
thority, that,
<'The heart knoweth it's own bitter
ness"
Mrs. Smart was washing up hel. best
China, one morning, preparatory to
giving q grand tea party, and her
cousin, Ella Dale, was helping her,
when the Deacon put his shining bald
head in at the door.
'tMy DEAR" he said "here is paper
of pins for you"
Mrs. Smart nearly dropped q gilt
edged saucer, In her CONSERVATION.
''More pins!" said she.
eyes, my DEAR" said the Deacon,
unctuously. spins are always USE
full
s'Oh, yes, pinsl" said Mrs. Smart,
giving her glass towel q toss as she
wiped the last globule of moisture
from q goblet. ''But no rows of rusty
wire! | do say for it Ebenezer -"
I'm going to Glen Depot, my DEAR"
the Deacon somewhat hurriedly inter-
rupted, at this iuncture; "and perhaps
shan't be home till one o'clock"
He withdrew, and Mrs. Smart turned
to Ella Dale with g. half laugh.
There, my DEAR" said she, throw
ing down the faded green roll of PIN
paper on the "dresser, "there you be-
hold the secret of my domestic unhap-
piness-the skeleton in my closet"
Ella opened her round, hazel eyes
very wide.
"Ican't think what you mean, JUL
anna" she said. "You unhappy? and
the dear Deacon such a truly good
MANI"
s'That's the trouble" said Mrs.
Smart, she is too good"
"But / don't hardly see how that
can be possible" protested Ella, more
perplexed than ever.
"And it's all at my expense" said
Mrs. Smart, dolefully. ''Do you see
that paper of pins ?"
"Why, of course, see it" said Ella.
"Well, Mr.. Smart has bought this
paper of pins of g. peddler at the
door," said Mrs. Smart. "Peddlers
always come here. This house is a
Mecca to the race of peddlers. They
know that Mr.. Smart always buys of
them-he's too good-hearted to say
no; or rather-let us speak the truth,
and shame him who shall be name
less between us-he is really too indo-
lent to resist their opportunities"
Ella burst out laughing.
"But what q very insignificant little
trial. she said.
"Oh, yes, I dare say!" said Mrs.
Smart. 1.-THE sting of hornet isn't
so very terrible in itself, but when q
whole swarm is let loose upon you,
what thens"
"a whole swarm?" repeated inno-
cent Ella.
s.My dear" said Mrs. Smart, lower
Ing her voice to confidential whisper,
''up stairs in my bedroom closet, /
have eighteen papers of just such
cheap pins utterly useless. for any
thing out to bend themselves up
double when you try to put them
through a single thickness of calico,
and to deprive you of your temper
just when you need it most: six cards
of porcelain buttons, an article which
Inever use; nine packages of stove
blacking; thirteen bottles of machine
oil; FIVE papers of rusty needles; g.
dozen pairs of shoe strings, and eight
rolls of tape, which is an insult to
ones common sense! Ii / could
reconcile it to my conscience, I'd fling
the whole collection into the fire; but
Twas brought up to economic. What
do you think, Ella, would it be q sin
to annihilate all these pitfalls to my
equanimity ?"
at is rather hard problem" said
Ella, soberly.