Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1887-04-23
CHAPTER VII.
DOWN WITH THE 'LANDLoRDs.

gard1ng MS hrst glass of gin and water with
d1scontented looks, 1--WE have now Maria,
been members Of the peerage-actually OF
the p~eerage-the peerage of the realm-for
nearly a week. Yet 1 see no change"
N one has called" said her ladyship. 81
have put on my best gown every night. But
no one has thought fit to take the least notice
of US"
"Where is the coronets Where are the
robesa Where is the star? Where is the
collar"
The doctor silently filed his pipe and went
on reading his evening paper, taking no
notice of these complaints. Yet it did strike
him as strange that a MAJ should succeed to
a peerage with so little fuss.
n message from the Queen" Uncle
Joseph continued; mo officer Of the house Of
lords with congratulations from that august
body; no communications from Provincial
grand lodge; no Populations from a loyal
tenantry; no ringing of bells. Maria, in
the whole course Of my experience among
the titled classes I never before saw such a
miserable succession"
Miserable, indeed" said her ladyship.
The reason" continued Uncle Joseph, sis
not difficult to find. They are waiting.
Maria, for tho banquet. How can a noble
lord succeed without a banquet. You can't
do ANYTHING without it. Why, if you initiate
a little city clerk you have a BANQUET over
it. II you raise a man to the dazzling height
OF thirty-third. you must celebrate the ecca-
sion with a banquet. And here We succeed
to the rank of viscount. and not even a
bottle of chamnagne Gin and water in the
house of the Right Honorable the Viscount
Clonsilla!'
There was a full attendance OF the house,
so to speak. The Honorable Hyacinth WAS
present; the Homo abe Norah, with Mr..
Hugh Aquila, had just returned from an
evening walk among The leafy groves of
Camden Towns one square; the Honora ole
Terry, Larry and Pat were, as usual,
quarrellng over a draught board.
Well, my dear" said tho doctor at last.
what did you expecta'
"lexpected recognition. l thought that
our brother p 'ers would call upon us"
what have We received. Marias" said
Uncle Joseph. The outslretch d hand of
brotherhood? Not at ali. Cold neg .ect"
I'VE may belong to the Irish peerage,'
said the doctor, 'but, remember, if YOU
please, that l am still, and am likely to re-
main to the end of tho chapter, a general
practitioner. with a larg, practice and a
small income, of Camden Town. 1t will be
a proud distinction. no doubt, to reflec. that
We are the only titled people in Camden
Town. Well. we must be contented with
the pride. You may add to the alderman's
robe, my dear, your %coronet, when it comes
along
I'VE ought said Uncle Joseph, firmly,
ITO assert ourselves. There ought to be a
banquet
lat the funeral to-day" the doctor con-
fIn1ln1 tfhAra wnc V0t n rirrr1, -, o,..-
cept myself and Daft and Hugh who went
with us. Not one. The old lord seems to
have outlived all his friends. He left no
will, so that all the p operty. whatever it Is.
entail ed or no., should have come to me,
but for an accidental circumstance which
You ought to learn at once"
"As the old lord is buried" said Uncle
Joseph, the time has come for action: of
course it would be I'M eemlS O rejoice be-
fore the funeral. Now, If IN, advice is
thought to be worth anything in this fam
ily-the advice of a man who has shaken
hands tamiiiarlv, yet respectfully, with
earls, and sat next to a prince at a banquet
is that we should, without any delay, issue
invitations to a large number Of our noble
and lIustrious brother peers for a banquet
in robes and coronets at the Freemason s or
the Criterion. l will myself superintend
the banquet, inspect the menu-at this time
of the year, what with lamb duckllng, green
peas, salmon, whitebalt, turtle, young DO
tatoes, early apricots and Strawberries. the
banquet will be unusually choice-choice
and oo:hsome. AS for the champagne
ah!' he gasped. and drank. off the whole
glass of gin and water, II will order it. Do
not be in anxiety about The champagne,
Maria. 1t shall be my care. When the
banquet is over, your health-you will be in
the chair, doctor-shall be taken after the
loyal toasts. l will myself respond for the
craft. Then We will give up this house,
which is mean for a viscount's town resi-.
dence, and We will move to u mansion in the
west, where Maria can take hat place in
society which she was born to adorn."
He spoke so confidently, with SO much en-
thusiasm, that her ladyship murmured, and
oven Norah was carried away with the
thought OF the family greatness. A large
hou.e in the Vest End, with nothing for her
father to do, and society-though it il not
seemed fitting accomplishments to a title.
The doctor listened gravely. Then he
laughed.
ut is too ridiculous" he said. II am
Viscount C.olsilla All you boys and girls
are honorabies. And, except for your
AAS AAoiicJ tuelc 1911 Y u penny III ING
world for my of US. What do you say,
Hugh"
II houll let the title fall into ~abeyance,"
said Hugh. Il don't know why, but a title,
without land or money, seems contemplate.
should give it up"
Never" said Uncle Joseph, with de-
cis:on. Give up a title' Give up a thing
at. er, throw away a title? You must bs
mad, young man. Actually refuse to enjoy
your tit!e! You might as wei! go to a ban-
quet and pass the champagne But it shows
among lords and honorables. You don't
know, young man-you cannot know what l
mean. You are only a young doctor Be
hum lie. Don't presume to advise. sir, on
ma tiers connected with rank and society"
II know what science meant" said Hugh. and
that's enough for me. Title. Who would not rather
make a name for himself than bear a titley'
Let US look at the thing PRACTICABLE. children
said The doctor Il shall never make a name for my
self unless l make a name az a great donkey. A fol-
the title, then. II rank allows me to .nlarge my
practice, and makes a better class OF patients send
for me. and enables me to ride in q carr age instead
OF trudefng along the streets. and TO double all the
bill 9. and to give up making up nv own medicin S
and to have a balance at the bank, why then I will
gladly sport the title. But II it ony makes VI
ridiculous, let US give 1t up. Acoronet on the door
OF asursery. where medicines are made up by the
noble lord within, does seem ridiculous; doesn't it"'
Uncle Joseph shook his head.
foAA, he sdiu, can never DE r1dlculOus. 6ut
II you feel 1t that way. follow my advice; give uE
the surgery. take a house at the West End. and gt
into society"
tn doctor shook his head impatientiy.
"Let the thing slide said Hugh. What do you
think, Sorali"'
shall alwa.s be CAD. whatever happens to thini
that my father can be q V scount II ne pleases. o.
course. at first l thought there must be a great for
tune with 1t. ALWAYS thought that peers were ver'
rich men, and l thought 1t wol.d be delightful to {
him rest ng a little from his hard work, and not tt
be- AFRAID any more OF the night bell"
The doctor kissed his daughter.
"Chi .dren.' he said, Il have a confession to make
Listen. now. Your father has been . terrible don
key!'