davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
a Hopeful view.

The New YORK HERALD's FINANCIA1
ARTICLE in a recent issue takes n hopeful
view of matters, and says that Just now
tho prospect is especially cheering, since
the recent ~rainfnlis have done incalcula-
BILE benefit in regions that had been suf.
fering from drouth. The financial and
industrial indications have likewise i'm
proved. The iron trade is netter; higher
prices are bid for steel; the donland for
wooden goods has improved; many thou-
sands of striking workmen have returned
to their labors; Europe, fearing lest her
own crops be late, is buying our bread.
stuffs at enhapced prices; sterling cx-
change is very much lower; immigrants
in vast numbers are passing through
Castle Garden on their way to develop
new territory in the West; bank eX-
changes, taking the country as a whole,
are very large; and the temper OF the
generally is cheerful, and indica-
tive of confidence in the future.
Use DR.. Pierce's pellets" for constipa
ion,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
4 Definition.

What is the difference between an.acci
dent and a SURPRISE asked Mrs. Spcllcr.
at breakfast. 'All accidents are surprises.
but not all surprises are accidents, replied
Mr.. Spcltcr. IF | were TO tip over the
lamp. it would be an accident. II YOU
were to say nothing about it, ii would be a
surprise. II see. said Mrs. S, danger.
0lsly. And if you were to come home
from the club sober, would that be both an
accident and a surprisc?" NO, my dear.
that would not be an accident. 1t would
only be in incident"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22

The PEE DEE INDEX thinks that at
will be difficult to find any one to re-
place DR.. McBryde. If possible the
State of South Carolina should keep him
at the head of her famous college. The
man who succeeds him must come with
q reputation already made. No expert
mental man at this iuncture should be
tried"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
PITTS ~CARMINATIVE!
FOB INFANTS AND
TEETHTNG CuTJ MP ~ a.

An instant relief for collie OF infants.
Cures Dysentery, Diarrhea, Cholera
lnfantum or any diseases of the tomach
and bowels. Makes the critical period
OF Teething safe and easy. Is a safe and
pleasant tonic. For sale by all druggists,
and for wholesale by HOWARD, WfhLrT
q Co., Augusta, Ga
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
liam

Why is it that three bottles of b. Is. b.
nro sold in Atlanta to II Of any other
blood remedy, and twice as much Sol
sumcd in the State Ot Georgia as any
other proparntior? No one need take
our word, but simply ask the druggists.
Ask ;ho people. Ihty are competent
witnesses. Six houses ia Atlanta are
buying Is. u. Il. in five and ten gross
lots, aud some of them buy rs often as
every two months. Why these upro-
ccdcntcd sales mere at home with 50 httio
adycrtising? Modosty iorbids us making
a reply. Had y. Is. b. been before the
public Il quarter OF half u century, il
would not be necessary to be holstered
up with crutchcs of page advertisements
now. Merit will conquer aud own
money.
500 WoRTR $500 @
| from u terrible form of Rheumatism,
| which reduce / me SO low that all hope
of recovery was given up. ! have suffer
ed the most oXcruCiutinB pain day and
night, ana often wii,o writiingi III agony
have wished /, could lie. | have t,iGd
everything known jor tlat disease, but
nothing cd II. any good, and have Ind
some Of the finest physicians Of Lnc
State 60 wui5 on me, but oil to No effect.
! hayc smupt over $500 without iuoigg
relief. am mow proud a. say that gti,r
using only ono bottle Of j.. Is. y ] am
enabled to walk around and attend TO
business, rDd J would not talk" $500 Tor
the benefit received irnm ono siuSlH bot
tie Of Is. IL. L. ] refer to all merchants
and business men OF this town. Yours,
most truly, T.. q. CARA.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
news NorEs.
Items OF Interest Gathered from Various
Quarters.

inc examination OF Witnesses IN inc
Sharpe trial has begun at last.
The Crown Prince and Princess Of Ger
many have arrived at Norwood.
McGlynn says that OBricn is merely
L0nSdownc with twenty five per cent. on
An epidemic OF rabies among dogs and
cattle is reported in Calhoun county, Flo
ida.
ST. Mary'S Episcopal Church, in Boston,
was Quilted by fire on Thursday. Loss
$l0,G COO.
Conncllsvillc coke operators still hold out
against the strikers, Notwithstanding the
surrender Of Carnegie
Griiiths, Marshall IL Co., brokers Of
Minneapolis, have suspended. They acted
as kcrShaw x Co.'S agents.
Emperor William is recovering from the
attack of influenza from which he has been
suffering for the past few days.
Turnbills white lead factory i'm Newton,
pack OF Brooklyn, was burned Monday
night. Loss $40, 900.
There were W new cases Of yellow fever
at Key West yesterday. One patient was
discharged from the hospital.
President |. +. Coc, of the Southern Fc.
male College at Lagrange, Ga, died sud
denly on Sunday night of apoplcXy.
Charles ID. Keep, a New York re porter,
died on Thursday, leaving II half million
dollars, mostly garncrcd in Wall street.
DR.. McGlynn is going to send tn, The
pope a petition for his pardon withoutrc.
p]chttncc, signed by 1907 toe people.
The hostile Indians are sill ON thc war.
path. The chief The hyarnhi, Nn,rhms
says ihcrc will be y biu Indian yyor
D.,, r,o , h,lr L,..1 ,,,, H.. 49,,
killed walter HAYNES Mt Shelby Mis- on
the 18Th MAY. was lynchcL ON Sunday loS,
James II Krcnn i said 70 ho,,o mt.1o
fortnn" or two Jmrinm tHn noe, ,n.n w,,"ol."a
in C'ligorria minimm S,nnL P"'' '"o "|'"'
49," MI, , 80
n Mn,y ! 'tIt i4S Iuil running Gown ,lc
~. ' r,r ,n - pa a"ceS anu ici' NHIl Lake
MTy,; -,
Millionaire Floods San Francisco palace
ana GROUNDS are o enclosed 10y Il bronze
icnc' "hIch cost exactly $4,000.
Tie New Hampshire Lcrislp,,rri in ioin,
srHn,'T guy u'rlnreG WIN. =. Chandler
Ia IlH Z NGhIlfl ny ar NAr
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
Tuttlc's Little Tnttic.


The PHILADELPHIA TINES thinks that
1t was not necessary for General Sher-
man to write a public letter condemning
d~cmagoguc named futile, Of Iowa, has
apparently placed the Grand Army of
that State toward the President. The
Grand Army cncampmcnt will be held ut
st. Louis next fall, and a committee of
citizens of that city, embracing men of
both parties, ca'1n TO Washington spc-
cially to urge ,'3 President to visit St.
Louis at the time the oncampmcnt is to
be held, and the President gave a condi-
tlonal promise to do so. The great mass
OF the veteran soldiers would have been
glad 10 welcome the President as n guest
on such an occasion, but one blatant
~dema8oguc, clothed with q little brief
authority, has interviewed himself for
the newspapers IN opposition to rcceiv-
ing the President, until General Sher-
man felt called upon to vindicatc the
soldiers of the Union against the dis
grace lotO which II babbling fool would
plunge them. The attempt to degrade
the soldiers OF the country by an open
exhibition of disrcspect for the President
comes from II Tuttlc, of Iowa, who
happens to have climbed his way to the
head Of the Grand Army Of that State.
lie was n soldier and u violent Democrat
during the war, and was several times Il
Democratic candidate for local or State
offices. lie was tho Democratic candi-
date for Governor after the war, when
the Republicans proved to their own
satisfaction that he was moro of a cotton
Spectator than soldier. He continued
to seek political honors as a Democrat
until 1876, when he had succeeded in an
election TO the Legislature; but many
years of political disappointmcnts as a
Democrat had her wearied him of po-
itical husks and he suddenly turned up
as a Republican and quite as radical as
he h&d been in support of Democracy.
CoSMBNTIND on the election of Chan
der TO the United States Senate, the
Boston Herald says:
"But who shall say that .BilP Chan
der is not a fair representative of the
party which selects a Keifer for Speaker, |
accepts Malone and Riddleberger as it's
Southern allies, and puts forward as its
national standard-beare a man so
smirched hat in almost any civilized
country in the world he could not remain
in public life?"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22

All who desire nun intUmuiiou ah,U' inc
cause Snd cure OF Blood ruiSOus, CIUGpituNld
SrlouIlOus sw,lliuE~, tiCors, SORES, nc"'uu
ttSm, Kidney complaints, cat rru, exc an
secure uN nntl. free, n copy our d! irg" nus.
wonderful and atnrtliu% PROOF ever before
known. Address, Bluun E'IM D.,
Alnnfm nm
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22

Use DR.. Pierce's pellets" for constipa
ton.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
BRIC-A-BRAC.
A woMAN's NAY.
No, lmpudence, you shan't have one!
How many times must | refuse?

A woMAN's NAY.
No, Impotence, you shan't have one.
How many times must | refuse?
Away!
| say
Or else you'n sure my friendship lose.
| cannot bear such forward fun,
SO, quick, begone! If not, I'll run!
Why, now I'll have to be severe
No, not u kiss to you I'll give
Take care
| swear
I'll tell papa sure as | live,
| never saw Il man so queer
But arc you certain no ones near.
Always in uSe--The letter $.
a clean shirt is not Il bad bosom friend.
What causes the flowers to shoot is that
they all carry pistils.
Never judge a man by his salary. Never
judge his salary by his airs.
A slow Notwithstanding but never pop,
ing the question.
In Southern California the Domegranate
grows as ii does in Italy or the Holy Land.
Russia believes in underground wires.
1t is opposed TO Poles.
a carpenter is not necessarily a prophet
because he augurs well.
u pig was never known to wash, but O
great many people have seen the pig iron.
It's Il fact worth remembering that itdoes
not take half so long to make a wound as
to heal one.
1t is not the change of scene that cures 50
many travelling invalids. 1t is absence from
the doctor.
A camel sometimes lives to the age of 100
years. No wonder he has q hump upon
his back.
The hOrsc.hair snake found in water is
found to be a parasite inhabiting beetles,
graSs-hoppcrs, etc.
Coin into politics." said the merchant
to the dentist. Expect to take the stump
occasionally, was the reply.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22

If all so-called remedies have failed, DR..
Sage's Catarrh Remedy cures.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

"Old man," said the officer, "that is sufficient. It is clear that you are a thief"
 "Git outen dis house, bof O yer. Git out. Wen CT man comes slippin' 'roun' we're writin' his name on my property wen I ain't lookin', wy, ain't got no use fur him. I tell yer w'ut," turning to his friends, "I'll natter lock up dis we're house tighter. Dat triflin' white pusson will slip in an write his name on all desc we're cabbages an cowcumbers. I reckon ef he wuZ ter write his name on me wen is ersleep he'd take me erway, too. Oh, my dyin' sinner frien's, we all natter be mighty keertul. Itpains me ter say so, but it is CT plum flat footed fack. Wall, et everybody wuz hones' I doan reckon half de folks would know w'ut ter do wid dar spar time. But it is sad ter think erbout, Brudder John; powerful sad. ."-Optt P. Re0d.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
The scurrilous Newspapers.
Boston Beacon.

If engineers were ever hoist with their own petards nowadays, certain largely circulated weekly might find the condemnation of much that is printed in Its own pages written down in couple of it's reviews of late for eign novels. Of one it says, eff it has any merit at all, it is in it's adroitly narrated filth" and of another it re- marks: "In this picture of the loftiest English society, by one of itself, all the men are scoundrels and all the women are drabs. They vary only in degree. One woman has more lovers than another; one goes about her fir tation in more brutal manner than another, but they are all depraved. And the single men, nobles most of them, are debauchees, the married men panderers to the illicit practices of their wives, and the only decent characters in the book the servants" And yet its own contents are largely accounts of intrigues, with yelled allu- sions to the participants in them, and undisguised narrative of known in- iquities, together with fiction, jest and insinuation, derived from the scandalous conduct of real or imagi- nary persons, all the while pretending that 1t gives true picture of society and of life in this country! No doubt its vile and nasty people live; but they are in minority incidentally small, and to trade upon their vices, their debaucheries and crimes, and to try to give these the character of rep- resentative acts, is an outrage which 1t Is pity no means can legally sup press. If once in while this hawker of scurrility would trace out mod est nobility, chronicle an act of hero ism, truth or purity, and hold them up to admiration and emulation, one might pardon some of its sins as perhaps due to an ignorance of the real good ness and honor that exist even in ESQ., ciety; ;" but as it is, one can only think it's course deliberate and be glad that it has unconsciously branded in the bitter words just quoted the litera- ture-to call it so-that occupies many of it's columns.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
In a Dust Storm.
Exchange.


 An English traveller. Mir. A. R. Hope, writing from South America of life on the pampas, relates some ex- periences that were new and strange. Here is his account of storm he wit messed one afternoon while he was vis- iting some herdsmen on the plains. GA dust storm!' they called to him, and almost before he had time to make any inquiries, it was on them. The air was crowded with birds fly ing before it.
 The next indication of its approach was that we felt particles of the dust blown in our faces; and soon the dust not only increased in denseness, but was mingled with pieces of plants and other substances carried along by the wind with such violence as to make the skin smart where they struck it.
 The whirling clouds grew larger and thicker, and every one putting his hand over his mouth began to make for shelter. A few drops of rain fell, and these in passing through the dust acquired the consistency of mud. Peals of thunder were heard not far off, and before long the force of the wind was so great that it was difficult to keep ones footing.
 At the first signs of the storm the cattle grew restless. The herdsmen tried to round them up; the great herd swayed to and fro, and began to move before the wind. The last thing we saw before the dust got so thick that we could see no more was the whole mass going off at long. swing ing trot. By this time most of us were safe in the house, where soon it was so dark that lights had to be brought into the room.
 For half an hour or more the dark ness continued. To me there was something almost awful in this strange phenomenon, but the other men seemed to look upon it as matter of course, and, throwing off lightly whatever annoyance they might have felt at this interruption to the days business, betook themselves to mak- ing the best of it, and the crowded room was soon a Babel of talk and laughter, while through the din now and again burst a short, sudden peal of thunder above our heads.
 But except few drops, rain did
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
PERFUMED THANKS,

Since the southern belle excursion to the northwest, Colonel P. Donan has been kept busy reading the violet literature of thanks poured iii upon him by young ladies who had 'ssuch a delightfully."-, oh, such a charmingly exquisite time" To one of those la- dies, one who sent thanks perfumed into perfect redolence of gratitude, Monte Christo- of Dakota replied as follows:
 CHICAGO, Aug. 15, 1887.
 My DEAR Mss -: Your letter of acknowledgement and thanks is, like it's author, brilliant, charming and very sweet ]; but why do you make acknowledgements or offer thanks to me? What little I did in connection with our late northwest ern jaunt was done for my own pleas ure, and I have already been abund- antly rewarded and repaid. It was one of those instances in which, if I had really given anything, I would
 
 to give than to receive"
 You, and each and all of my lovely party, may save your gratitude and thanks and acknowledgements for some occasion where they are due. In this case, your accounts have been more than squared as you went, and there is a balance to your credit in the a n l. hnnL.G If m h, gave far more pleasure to me, and to all others whom you met or with whom you were associated on the trip, than you received, or could by any possibility have received. I my self am deeply and lastingly indebted to you for my share of the light and happiness you distributed wherever you went.
 Much has been said about my magic wand, and the fairy land to which transported you. The only magic about our jaunt was the magical spell of young womanhood's beauty. The only tairyland we visited was made so by the fairies I took with me. You gave the rough little tour all its love- Illness for me. You have strewn charming memories, like prairie flowers, along all the wild pathways where we wandered; lent a new sparkle to Minnehaha's laughing wa ters; added sweetness to the lilies that float on Mimnetonka's rippling bosom and left host of warm friends and admirers on all the breeze swept plains, and by all the romance haunted -cataracts and lake and river sides of my far northwestern home land. The sun shines brighter, the air is softer the skies are more luminously sap phirean, and the heavens seem nearer since your visit there.
 have but one regret about our lit tie journey together, and that is-it has ended. would gladly have pro- longed it, at least till autumn's artist fingers wove mantles of celestial crim- son and gold for the forests of "the land of the Dakotas."
 Trusting that, to you and each and every one of our little band of sum- mer pilgrims, the remainder of life's journey may be as pleasant, and al fruitful of delightful recollections, al your recent brief-all too brief-triI has been to me, am, with the kind. est regard, yours most sincerely,
 F. DoNAN.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

Miss Goaway-"Do you expect to go to Saratoga this autumn, Clara?''
 Clara-"Oh, no, indeed! I am going to Niagara Falls. You see, it has very great advantage over Sara toga."
 Miss Goaway-"Indeed! I never heard of that before."
 Clara-"Oh, yes! You see, the noise of the Falls drowns the sound of the kissing. ."-Judge.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
Pretzel's Philosophy.
Sunday National.

A goot frow, und goot weekly newspaper vas bully inkredients for a feller to mix ub init his efery day life.
 Efil manners make corruption some communications when der communi- cation has some goot manners.
 Common senses vos grow small when der fool gets plenty gelt.
 Der lawyer vas known by der friends he has got-in der jail house.
 Der liver pad, yoost like bug bed, gets der best society in.
 A Templerenz feller init ret nose must be an extreme apologist.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
Frtnen for The ArkGnsoW Traveller. UNCLE BOBBY'S POKER GAME.
BY ED R. PRITCHARD.

Bobby Newcomb is an old colored fellow who runs a barber shop on week days and on Sundays generally fills some pulpit in the African NJ. E. church, in which he has long been a jealous member and duly licensed exhorter.
 But Bobby has one weakness, and that is a quiet little game of draw. In this, his favorite recreation, he is uniformly lucky and his earnings as pastor are frequently handsomely in- creased by the fat Jacob pots, which he usually manages to rake in during an evenings sitting.
 Just mile or so out from town, is a colored community, where for the past year Uncle Bobby has been preaching as supply" minister, be- ing paid ten dollars for each sermon he delivers.
 One Monday morning, not long ago, l met Bobby on the street and accosted him with the query, "Well, Bobby how did you get along yesterday?"
 In his usual drawling manner, and with the utmost unconcern, the old fellow answered:
 "Well, boss, I went out dah in de Artis settlement yisteday, an l preached pow'ful sermont, I did, sah. jess preached bout de profuts an de law an de 'postles, an, I tells ye, gib it to 'em mighty straight did, foh fac, boss.o
 "Did you stir up the sinners anv?" I asked as detected an unusual twinkle in the old fellows eye.
 "Now 1 did, boss, an doan you fogit it. You see, dey is some of de good 'brudders out dah tink dey kin Jes knock de spots outen enny udder folks playin' leetle game of draw. Well, sah, done went home wid ole brudder Bassett foh dinnah, an sides a whole lot ob de udder breddern an sistern done come Tong too. Aftah dinnah, l stayed in de house talkin' wib de sistern, an bye um bye I done spicioned dat dar war sumpin up. So jess scusin' myself, I goes out to de bawn an shuah enuff, up dar in de hay lof' were bout de mos interest inen game O pokah dat Fse struck foh a long time. I clim' up de laddah, an dar war brudder Bassett, an brud- der Artis, an ole uncle Turner, all dekinz in de church, sides ole brudder Stevenson, who am mos hunnerd years ole, an all playin' ten cent anty an no limit"
 "Of course you gave them sound talking to, didn't you, for playing cards on Sunday?" I asked.
 "Cose l did," said Bobby, "cose I did; an den l jess bought two dollars wutf O chips an sot in dat game, jess to show dem poh fools dey didn' un- nerstan de tust principles ob draw pokah. An"
 And you did it, Bobby?" I inter- rupted, for I was in hurry to get to my work.
 Il was jess goin' ter tell yuh," he continued, "dat l come outen dat barn atoah dark jess fou'tcen dollahs an fifty cents winnah in cash, sides two nice shotes dat dun won often Brudder Artis. Yas, sah, ten dollahs 'fo' de sermont. fourteen dollahs an fifty cents an' my next wintah's meat an gravy, in one day, am doin' tollable rushin' business. 'peahs ter me-"
 As 1 hurried away, the old fellows parting words were:
 "Yes, sah, boss, I'se boun' to spile de pokah game in dat church, an if I don't, somebody's gwine to git hut mighty bad, done tole yuh."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

not fall, and the herdsmen, whose camp lay farther on in the track of the storm, were jubilant over the hope that the rain-cloud was being carried away to come down on their ground. Rain is of course most valu- able at this time of the year, and when it does rain, it does rain on the pam pas; the weather there knows its own mind, and no mistake about it.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

"What time is it?" asked a custo- mer at one of our city restaurants, of the smiling clerk who waited for the pay for the breakfast.
 "Its quarter after ate," was the reply, as the cash was raked in with a twenty-five cent check. And the customer walked out without a nod. -Hartf ford Journal.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17
Fifth Avenue Hotel, Louisville, Ky.

FHtn avenue f1oteI, LouisviIIe, Ky.
 This hotel, having recently changed hands, has been refitted and refur- nished throughout, supplied with heaters, baggage and passenger ele- vators, electric bells and all modern conveniences. It is located within a square of all the theaters and is first class in every respect. Terms $2 per day. Captain J. T. Ritchey, proprie- tor; W. 8. Miller, J. P. Duffy, clerks.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

"We all have our burdens to bear, ' said the minister. "There are many trials in this life"
 "Yes, suppose there are," replied the poor lawyer, ruefully; "but I don't seem to have much luck at get ting mixed up in 'em."-Aerchaat Ir0ceser.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-09-17

What are the wild waves saying, darling?" murmured dude at Mar ragansett Pier, as he sat on the sand, clad only in bathing suit. But be- fore his girl could reply an irrevalent small boy behind the pair shrieked They're saying that if they was you they'd wear pants to hide their tooth pick legs. ."-Hotel Maa.