The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-26
BRIGHT BITS.

CAN you tell me, " wrote Mabel what can
do to change the color of my hair? 1t is red,
and am afraid TO use dye.
Get rich wrote the editor in reply, land
the newspapers will change it to auburn or spun
gold. Philadelphia call
SAID the widow mendacious young Mrs.
II really don't know what KRIS
The lover in haste
Put his arm round her waist,
And promptly but firmly said This"
Life.
$50 you want to be newspaper man, do
YOU said the city editor.
Yes sir "
Your last employer says that you are very
honest and truthful"
II don't think l ever told a lie, sir
|Well-er-don't you think you could learn?"
Washington Critic
A MILD HINT-They had been sitting in con-
templative silence for long time, when William
musingly said: II think, Naomi that there is
great deal of wisdom in that old saying: Silence
is golden"
There may be, but gold is unhandy. would
rather have Bill"
1t took him an hour to catch on, !" but he
finally offered himself.-Lincotg Journal.
Mr.. CRIMsoNBEAK-Yo have truly an electric
touch.
Miss Fussandfeather at the piano-oh, sir,
you fiatter me.
But it is true"
What makes you think sol'
Why, read the other day that electricity
would always put piano out of tune
She fingered the keyboard no more that even
ing.-YOnkerS Statesman.
WHATS this gathering of boys in the shed
this afternoon, James, inquired his mother
We'll, you see, ma, " replied Jimmy Tuffboy
I'VE are going TO form walnut trust, on the
plan of the rubber trust, you see"
Il don't quite see"
Wei, this is the way The boys all agree to
get as many walnuts as ever they can an
pool in together. I'm interested, cause I'm
going to store the pool. y Hartford Post.
THE WRONG PLAcE.-Stranger in Kansas Drug
Store-I want to get SOC. worth of calomel.
Proprietor-Fifty cents of what?
"Calomel."
What is calOmelf"
Don't you know? What sort of place are
you keeping, anyhow"
This is drug store, and if you want any
thing, don't sling around any fancy names. Is
it pint or a half pint you're after?"-Onlaha
World.
A Fathers PRIyILEGE-Omaha Man-As
your first baby is a boy, suppose you have the
privilege of naming it.
Young Father-Yes, stree, l wouldn't allow
any one else to name that cherub.
Have you thought of good name for him
dozens Of 'em; splendid names; lust the
thing; but they won't any of them do
''Why notf"
my wife won't have 'em-On,aha World.
TINES REvENGEs.-Mr. De Lone ION being in
troduced)-NisS. Coquette and 1 have met be-
fore.
Miss Coquette (coldly)-Yes, 1 remember now.
I'VE will let bygones be bygones, for time
heals all wounds and no doubt was very silly
boy at that time"
"Boy?"
Il must have been. 1t was ten years ago, and
yonr reason for refusing me was that you were
old enough to be my mother. Omaha World.
A CERTAIN OLD LADY down in Maine has the
genuine genius of Mrs. Darlington, and may
howl Il g 3
for all the Listener knows. Not long ago she
was telling of the wild times in the woods down
there before the country was settled
Why" said She 1.-THE folks used to be walked
up in the night by the bowling of the pamphlets
in the woodsl''
1t is to be inferred that she meant "pan-
theirs" though no doubt there have been such
things as bowling mphlets.-BoSton Trans
cIipt.