Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-04-10
Bbeelins g<siater
BILL NYE
ANSWERS SOME EAGER CORRESPONDENTS.
Ths Youth Who Dearly Loves a Maid and IS AK
iUus About His PenmanShip Gets a Fan
sfaly Reply, Not Fdppant but Full
OF Intense Advice Of the Frse-
Gra6s-Kind, Bic.
Boston GO6

charged.
Rodney L. PanghOen, of TusoOn, A. T.,
writes as follows:
al dearly love a young lady here who a
year ago led me to believe that she was
not displeased with me.
~ know that she is my superior in
many ways, as her folks keep . glrl,
whereas my mother does her own work,
but need that cause US to DRIFT apart?
81 think that where two fond hearts
throb in unison, and where q young per
son of my sex earnestly and deyotedly
loves a young person of q dramatically dit
ferent sex, sud he desires her to be his'n
and would not mind being her'n, ought
our difference IN station to make any diff
{ erenee in our destiny?
What do you think of my Penman-
hip?
II is difficult to answer you, Rodney,
without being dipPant, but know by the
tone of you letter that you do not feel dip
napt and YOU would resent it II | were TO
treat YOUR query in that way, so will try
10 talk to you the same as | would discuss
the matter il it were my own.
Socially we are always ut war, Rodney.
If your mother had kept = girl your "
father might have kicked you into a shape
less mass, cursed You and dislaherited you
for loving q young thing whose mother
did not keep a girl, or you might have
fallen in love with one whose parents kept
two girls.
once knew n young mar who was 80
cially blessed in every way but he loved
above his station just rs gOu have u
and his whole life was embittered. In an
evil hour, he fell madly, ~passionately IN
love with a girl whose parents were naughty
and not only kept AZ all-aIOund girl to do
the work in the house, but hired a man
TO come and toy with the woOdplle anu
grease the blackboard and squirt water ON
the lawn.
He saw that he must in some way bridge
this social chasm or lose his ideal, and 50
he entered the lists to compete for a prize
of $500 offered by q purSe-proud plug to-
bacco establishment for the largest mum
Der of words to be made from the sentence:
''Chew R~uminatOr's Succulent Plug To-
baeco and take no Other!
He made over 1000 words from thissen'
tence aud accompanied them with over
100 tin tays from RuminatOr's celebrated
tobaecn but a rival with i've more words
and one more tin tag than he had walked
AWAY with the $500, and this young man
is now striving to butt out his teeming
brains against a padded cell in one OF the
cOslest lunatic asylums Ot when our own
fair land can boast.
III gnv- a., ,r,n BnlnRV ~ |
would say to any other man who had come
to me to lean on me and sob against me
and ask me for aid and encouragement, do
not seek to bridge over this great social
chasm at one bound.
You might injure yourself ! know an
other case where a young man named \
dali, whose parents were plain people, hls
father having been in the well-digglnga and
pump industry, aspiTed to the hand OF {
Young wOman whose hands had never yeI
been immersed in dishwater.
Her parents also maintained a cOttag,
organ and a Brewster sidebar buggy witt
red runnin2-gear.
One day he was riding on the same tram
with her and heard her express u desire tOl
a bunch OF beautiful periwiukles that grew
in beauty ON the railroad right OF way,
reg.rdless OF and entirely ObhyiOus to the
interstate commerce bill.
The train only halted at that point iOl
an instant in order that 4 man with a sledsS
hammer aud a dash Of tar on his nose might
pound ON the car wheels in a desultory
kind Of way.
Mr.. Randall was anxious to procure thu
entire group Of peTiwinkles and 80 he de
layed too long.
In humping on the platform, hampere,
as he was by the bouquet, he missed IN
footing and also one OF his legs.
Twill not 20 into detail, Rodney, for l
would be useless and vain.
Suffice il to say that his great Sacrihc
availed him naught.
The periwinkles for which he swappe'
his fair young leg On that bright and balm.
spring day have long since faded, and a
Mr.. Randall in the cleaning sadly IN
buckles his white oak leg and hangs 1t a
the head OF his lonely bed, he may b
heard to calculate something in regard {
the folly Of striving To leap across a hroaJ
social chasm.
But YOU are still young, Rodney, an
YOU might vet win the object Of your loy
by winning a place upon a social plan
equal To that OF the party you refer to.
Your ~penmanship Il good. 1t - hlghl
ornamental and reminds me OF a woye
wire mattress. The red ink you use ais
enhances the e~frulgenee of You c~hirOgraph
a good deal.
You would succeed in n large counting
house | think. You could prop the doC
open with yourself in summer time, an
in winter YOU could he n railroad cut-ral
sandwich.
James b. s, Duluth, Mimi, wishes
know what class OF people are referred
in the South as poor whites
l DO not know, unless James refers
the people who bring butter INTO town
the spring and purchase snuff with the pr
ceeds. When you see a tall, pale woma
coming into town in February, wearing
black calico. slat fun-bOnnet lined vii
pink, and carrying a pound oil ghast
grease done up in a red pocket handke
chief, with the little ScIled end oil a snui
stick hanging out of the corner OF her Oh
cOlored aud neglected mouth, dressed
sOiled garments that smell like a haunt,
house, You may safely state to yoursel
James, that a poor white trash oil the
male gender is in town for the purpose
trading miasmatic butter for moldy snui
The male poor Whlte IISau u q iceo
party, with the same Odor clinging to hi
10 which be adds the fragrance OF raw spl
its and Hat tobacco. He wears = full bear
in which he collects little mementOes
forgotten meals. His hair is full Of ashe
burrs and feathers. In the winter he
half frozen to death, and in summer he
10 lazy that you have to walk around hl
or fall over him. No one ever knew hi
TO move FROM the middle Of the walk /
man, woman or child. He stands in
busiest part of the town, and while Peol
with an object in life jOstle past him he
mains q blot upon creation like a poor b
at a frolic or a tin ear upon the brow
beontv BILL NYE.
Ashville, n. c., March 70.
Ad Infnltum. 4
The .THilF.