The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-18

hearts-Such high achievements and renown, In fields so wide, deserve the crown:-Mistress of Arts and Queen of Hearts.
 You ask me to give an opinion po- litical: haven't the time to be careful or critical; But opinions are plenty, And if you'd asked twenty, Without ifs, ands or ergos, I'd have answered you, Here goes: Our political mud dle grows thicker and thicker; the American eagle, though bigger, looks sicker. Our republics become the befouled dumping ground For the human offal of the universe round. The outcasts and outlaws of all Gods creation Hold the balance of power in our proud Yankee nation. In the South, brutish, ignor- ant negro barbarians; In the North, Irish, Dutch, Scandinavians, Hunga- rians, Poles, Russians and Dagoes. Japs Turks and Bavarians; With nihilists, socialists, thugs, dynamiters, Anarch- ists, strikers, and wild blatherskiters; A red Jagged, red handed, fierce, frothy -mouthed rabble, Who swear in blood, death and destruction they'll dabble. We've Irish Americans, Ger man. Americans, All sorts and condi- tions of Foreign Americans: While the real old Native American freeman Seems nearly extinct as the dodo or cayman, That, ages agone. roamed the shores of Lake Leman, When our worlds cradle song the glad morning. stars sung, And opera chorus-girls and pallets were young; When kel- logg, Kate Field. friskv Lotta and Patti Went to school to Methuselah in the shades of Araratti
 With such cattle to battle, And the ballot-box rattle, Politicians and statesmen with auctioneers vie;Rogues, ringsters and rascals thrive fast and fly high, And "paytriotism" is spelled with a 'y;" Conventions and con- gresses, all things are venal, And hon. esty only seems foolish, or penal. Votes, offices, honors @ are peddled for lucre, And the sharpest apscal- lions all competitors euchre-Qf Co., lumbia weren't blindfold like Justice. 'twould puke her rD- Boodle's the watchword, base Boobies the slogan, And tape-vender Farwell holds the seat of Logan.
 What we call an election Is too oft but selection 'Twixt a fool and a scoundrel; all honor thus swindled, Office holding has dwindled To a mere hungry hound-drill.
 X skunk skins mistaken for judi cial ermine, And courts are becoming refuge of vermin. Blind Justice is cheated, Bamboozled, defeated, Her scales filled with counterfeit nickels, Whilst shyster, profane- handed, tickles Her nose with bribery straw. Wrong triumphs, and mocked is all law, Through juries' stupidity, No less than cupidity; For, under our statutory asinine rule, A juryman must be knave or fool.
 We're trying our boodlers for suits penitential, And when, by good guid ance and aid Providential, We send them criss- crossed down to stern Joliet, Honest men-if there be any may be jolly yet. But if all our grand army of bold peculators, Our bribers, corrupters. public-trust spec ulators: Our mighty land -grabbers, Our assorted fund nabbers; Our king railroad kers, Our naval false deckers; Rogues past and rogues pres ent, in whole, or participal: Rogues national, state, county. town and mu- nicipal; Should get their deserts, and inn pris-on-ed should be. How lone some, how silent, this country soon would be!
 But enough of such stuff, where a little too much is; Such subjects leave snutches OH each finger that touches.
 wish you'd been here at the recent "kirmess"-The wish is selfish one. must confess. Twas a brilliant affair, all excepting "the fair," For, you know, in Chicago, the fair are not fair: The fair ones Are rare ones: There are few of them fair, very few of them fair. The booths of all na- tions, the gay decorations, the cos tumes transcendent, The jewels re- splendent, The bright banners pend- ant, The music, the dancing, The posing and pranciDg, The lights, foun- tains, flowers, The wild gypsy bowers The whole was entrancing: But the women were UGLY! richly dressed hideosities, Irredeemable scare crows, gorgeous monstrosities; Scarce beautiful face In the whole dreary place! You'd have been a plumed angel 'mongst specters and satyrs, A vision of loveliness 'mongst homely big matters; A gleam and dazzle of radiance celestial, In a wilderness darkened by ugliness bestial: 4 star of delight in a cavern of fright-wares, An oasis of beauty in desert of night mares!
 And now, in conclusion, Of this fuddled effusion, With kindest assur- ing Of regard that's enduring. I pray