The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-21
BRIGHT BITS.

EVERY GIRL should learn to play the piano
Music has charms to soothe the savage, and
there Is no telling what sort of temper the
man will have she catches for a husband
Phdddetphtd Herald.
ToURIsT-You have fine farm, indeed
Farmer-Yes; | reckon it's one of the best.
Tonrist-What is the most profitable source of
income?
Farmer-Summer boarders Boston Budget
MORE bears have been killed in Maine this
year than were ever killed before, is the item
now going the rounds Of the press. More bulls
have been killed on Wall street and in Chicago
this year than were ever killed before.-GGlUeS-
ton Neics.
TEAcHER-Have animals capacity for affec
ton?
Class-Nearly all
Teacher-Correct Now what animal posses
ses the greatest attachment for man?
Little Giri-Woman- Omaha World
A DAY in the country-Little Tommy who
has never been out of the city before)-Oh OH
OH
Kind lady-what's the matter, Tommy?
Little Tommy-Why what a big sky they've
got here, miss-Hdrper'S Young People
JONES (who is of an inquiring mind)-Ain't
you getting tired of hearing people say, That
is the beautiful Miss Belsize?'
Miss Belsize "a professional beauty)-Oh, no,
I'm getting tired Of hearing people say, is
that the beautiful Miss Belsize?''-Punch.
DEALER Ito clerz)-What did that young lady
want, James?
Clerk-She asked for anatomical Brussels
carpets, and told her we hadn't such thing
Dealer-Great Scott. James! that young lady
is from Boston, She wanted body Brussels,
and we've got an ovcrstock Of 'em.-NeW York
san.
A LITTLE Frenchman rushed in and mpetu-
ously said: oh, mon chere NJ. Fergu some,
why you have no feex my wahtch?"
What is the matter with it now?" asked
Robert, all urblnity.
''Mahter Weez 'inl--mahter weeZ imf" bluS-
tered the little fellow. "Parbleu do You not re-
mernbair dat Hi ahm .musique teachaireE'
Certainly. professor" answered Bob.
well, dZen, what for you ave your repairroor
make my wahtch run 80 minute in one hour?
Snail stahnd DE dreadful torture of do-re-mi
full dreadful hour weez heveray pu -Dil? Dzat
would be trop terrebleo in dis wedthair Ave
DE Kindness TO make i'm 90 an hour in fourty-
five minute. "-Netc York EUs1tng sun.
ALL the fools may go fishing
If they choose;
I've no patience that I'm wishing
Thus to lose:
Let them broil meath sun, and swelter,
Give to me
But the genial shade and shelter
OF a tree.
Life is far too great treasure,
And the cost
OF such mockery of pleasure
Is time lost
No! / have no use for fishes
On line,
Therefore, served in dainty dishes
Give me mine.
Boston Budget.
THERE were about half a dozen Of them, and
they had been off somewhere In the country
They were all piled a wagon, and as they
passed one Of the numerous cottages a pretty
woman accidentally turned a white handker-
chief loose. There were six handkerchiefs
waving wildly in the breeze in one instant.
by Jove, she's pretty. wonder who she is?
That was meant for me-
ut wasn't. 1t was meant for me- said
everybody but a little old man sitting on the
bottom of the wagon hidden from sight
Well he said, I'm bet it was not meant for
me-
''Why?"
Because that was my wife"
And dead silence fell on the picnic.-San
Francisco Chronicle