The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-05-15
Thu VERY FUNNY DEVICE
OF A VERY FUNNY MAN Al. MRS.
MORGAN's PARTY ea'a
Hew verona" Made a Mustacbe fer
herself and Maria Made Her
Hair Gray.
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who had a heap of fun. Mrs. Dun
can Morgan gave an entertainment
called a fancy german. With few
exceptions the guests were in char.
acter costumes, without masks to be
sure; but this young man got up d
device that amused him all the even.
ing. To begin with, he had three
legged stool riveted in the scat of his
trousers. The legs were all fitted
with hinges that, when he stood up,
dropped fiat against his own, but
when he sat down they fell into place,
and supported him "a well as three
legged stool ever supported man. A
band OF some stout stud was fastened
across his knees, so that when he sat
down he could stretch his legs two
or three feet. Over his head and
resting upon it was yoke, such as
French peasants wear to carry
milk cans, Thus rugged, the young
fellow sat down on his three
practicable wooden and two hu-
man legs, claspiug his hands
on his knees and throwing his
arms out. He was upholstered in
green velvet till he was a spectacle
His arms were tufted. A fine, soft
seat was run in to go arou his waist
ON a belt aud fastened to the band be-
tween his knees. A plated hounce
encircled him, and a beautifully pad
ded back ran from his waist up to
the yoke on his head. In the center
OF this was slit, through which he
poked his head and threw the yoke
back on his shoulders. Deep bull
ion fringe went down his arms and
over the fouuce. When he stood up
he was an ungainly mass of frills,
iringes and furbelows; but when he
threw up the yoke on his head, drew
his noodle in like "a turtle, braoed
his arms in the proper position and
sat down, he was as inviting an easy
chair as you could fud in a cabinet
makers store. He would select a
quiet spot at the end Of a dance,
strike his attitude and await devel-
opments. Down would drop some
exhausted damsel. Once a fat
dowager nearly pressed the
stuffing out of him, but he contented
himself by giving way and max.
ing madam believe the rickety old
chair was coming to pieces with her
But then came the delightful task Of
holding her pretty niece, and our
hero behaved like a chair with n
palpitating back and spring seat as
long az he could. An attendant
cavalier went off to fetch an ice. The
fair maid leaned her head back 30
that her Grecian knot of hair per-
torated the slit made for our friend
to see through, and stuffed his mouth
full of Titan red looks. What
should the arms of chair do then
but enfold herr Up came both Of
his hands and met over. the Jack
roses on her corsage. Ma'am Eele
gave a desperate yell and started out
of that shady corner. At that mo-
mert our friend sprang up, pushed
the yoke off his matted brow, and in
the wild disorder of his crazy suit
was the first to ask her what the
matter was.
To catch up bottle of perfume
and dab the stopper at ones upper
lip, | believe is a popular trick with
many women; | know I've seen lots
of women do it, and did it myself,
till the other night, starting to see
Langtry, did that trick in q dark
room aud have quit it altogether.
You see, | ran back for a glove but
toner, and prowling over the dress
ing case struck the glass stopper of
bottle OF Cherry Blossom, caught
it up and smooched it across my
upper lip and gave two little dabs
behind my ears, so my neighbours
should have smell. 1t isn't Cherry
Blossom, after all, thought |, it's the
White Rose extract, all the same
And | prauced down and joined my
party. We had got into car, when
some one said, Good mercy, what
have you got on your face"
THE usual amount of powder, |
suppose" | replied, aggressively.
why, you've got a dark purple
moustache."
Great heaven, it broke on me in a
minute. That nasty bottle of scented
ink, that | myself had carelessly lett
on the dressing bureau, There was
no Langtry for me that night. Nine
ty-six washings only weakened the
stain. Sand paper and pumlce stone
have removed some OF my lip q al
ways had enough, but it's b dark
now (ten days ago it happened) that
folks say to me: You must stop
using that vaseline; you certainly are
getting a moustache," and just be
hind my ears are two spots that look
as if modification had taken place.
However, didn't make a spectacle
OF myself, as Maria did the other
night. Maria has a little wisp of
hair, the darkest shade of brown,
growing on her head, but she has
lovely switch that she just twists on
as natural as life and twice the size.
She had been disporting herself all
the afternoon in deshabille, with Just
her bang nicely curled and those III
hairs of hers in a knob, as big as a
hickory nut, on the back of the head.
Some friends came in and Maria
began dressing for the theater.
She disappeared into the next
room, and the two ladies sitting with
her went down to the drawing room,
where their escorts were waiting.
Maria had slipped into her mas
room, just Combed out the switch
and twisted it in with the devoted
little band of hair that had not de-
serted her as yet. Then she came
back to her own well lighted apart
ment, put on her bonnet and the
party started. The curtain was
down on the first act when she
leaned forward to speak to one of her
friends. The look of establishment
she received told her something was
wrong.
Why, Maria, your back hair
Why, it's-it's" stammered the lady.
No, it was sDugly coiled and Sc