Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1887-10-05
PrYH AND POINT.

The night air may be bad, but a
isn't SO bad as the night "tear.
BoucIcAuLr has no partner. He gets
up his plays On his own shook
MONEY is made twice; . man makes
il, and then his wife makes it--go.
THE Gear is called his August ma
jesty, because he reigns in o summary
manner.
The sign Beware Of the dog" IL not
hung up that he who runs may read. "
but shat he who reads may run.
THE coat-tail Irritation is the latest.
A wrinkled coat-tail, beanng dust toe
marks, a II have spoken to
your father"
Il GIVE my word It's truth I toll :.
Say who protests too much;
But many q wight
Decoyed by fright
Runs OH without his crutch.
-SiJttngs.
A DRIVER Of q street-car recently
called ont to q green conductor, switch
off," and instantly nineteen out of the
twenty women in the car put their
hands quickly to the back Of their
heads.
THERE are several ways OF making Q
bnstle-of newspaper, Of wire, or other
material. But the largest sized and
most complete hustle is made by the
small boy who lets a live rat loose in a
sewing bee.-Ieros Siftings.
A Russian named Skrzcypczy wsijza-
vich, living in Campbell County, re-
Gently lost q blooded colt worth 5000.
ua Lo,J Lie faru, fouoaJ ry;+b Ia, NAME
aud the colt ran into it and cut his legs
all to pieces on the "z's" and "k's."-
Dakota Bell.
"HAvE you u magnificent wardrobe ?"
the manager asked, addressing the
actress who had just applied for an en-
%gagenent. "Why, no; I've 10 ward
robe at all. I'm in the burlesque line,
you know" ooh! I see. All right
Boston Courier.
EXCUSE me, sir" he said, "but you
are something of a reading a are you
not?" 30, yes, sir; I often read half
the night through" II thought so. I
am seldom mistaken in Judging charac-
ter. You have a passion for literature,
/ supposed" "Not exactly: TIM a
proof-reader. -NeW York Sun.
A MICHIGAN girl while picking black
berries met a black bear among the
briers. She turned to run and tore her
dress on a brier so as to expose her
patent wire hustle. The bear, installing
the hustle for a circus cage, struck for
tall timber, leaving the girl to go with
out hugging until Q dry-goods clerk
closed his store at 8 o'clock the next
evening. The girl, at last accounts,
was improving.-Newman Hdepend-
enk.
OMAHA Girl--O how awful! The
idea Of going as a missionary among
those wild tribes. Cornell Student
The idea seems to be quite popular.
Thirty-five of the present students at
Cornell have decided to go. "But how
can young men reared as you have
been have the courage to go among
savages to live?" 20, we're not afraid
of savages. You just ought to be at
Cornell some time during a can rush"
-Omdha World.
HER FATE.
Young Spriggins fell madly in love,
But the maid whom he wooed would not we'd
He called her his pet and his dove
But in vain for her favor he plead.
Il never shall marry said she,
"A man with u name such as yours;
Mrs. Spriggins' / never will be
So long rs this old world enduresi"
So Spriggy rushed off in despair.
And drowned himself-silly young fooli
For the hard-hea,ted girl didn't care
Hard hearted girls don't as a rule.
But alas now she's toothless and bald,
And her pride had a terrible fall;
Mrs. Spriggins" she never WAS called
For she never was Mrs. at ali!
journal of Education.
AN editor of a country paper having
been invited to a picnic on q day when
his paper had to go to press. called the
boy who set the type and said; atom,
Pm going away to-day and haven't time
to get out any more copy. Take my
article headed Party Organization and
run it again, putting yer it 'Repub-
lished by request When the editor
returned from the picnic and took up a
copy of his paper he became justly in
dignant upon reading the following
"Party Organization. Republished by
request of the editor."-Arkansaw
TraDeter.