The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-04


 At last he gave il up in disgust. and gave the earth kick that sent il whirling into space. It has kept rolling ever since.
 Old Atlas was always sorry after wards that he had been such d fool a> to part with the earth. He had no idea at the time how valuable real es- tate was going to be. He had good thing and he didn't know it. If he had only platted n quarter section of land anywhere near Dodge City or New York, he might have sprung it on Us now as an addition, and taken advantage of the spring boom. don't think he had much money any how. because he never spent much for his clothes. The only photographs we have of him show that he habitu- ally dressed in an old second hand lions skin.
 Still this may be due to his eccen- tricitv, but. as he is thoroughly dead now, we might as well say what We think of him.
 The more the earth cooled of the more it kept humping itself up in spots. At that time America had not been discovered, for the simple reason that there was no America to discover. and, even if there had been. l don't think you could have induced any one to come out and locate. not even ii they could have pre-cmpted a whole township.
 All that part of the country be- tween the Rocky mountains and the Alleghanies was one big ocean. and the country between the Rockies and the Pacific coast range was the bed of another large ocean.
 Well, after awhile the water began to soak into the cracks of the earth and this is where all the trouble came about.
 The water was converted into steam, and there being no safety valves in the carth's crust. the thing exploded and materially altered the complexion of the earth's surface This is the biggest explosion that we have any record of. some of the mountain ranges were overturned. and of course this made all outlet for the water. It gradually settled in the lowest places until the oceans. a> they now exist, were formed The rivers now scattered all over the earth on all that is left of the immense oceans hat covered what are now habitablc points.
 When the ocean that once covered Kansas began to get move on itself it was regular surprise party to the fish. Those that had their grips packed went off with the tide. with out saying goodbye. Well. the Wa ter, in distributing itself over the earth's surface, kept wearing down the mountains, and covered this whole country with mud. This covered up the remaining fish SD completely that they were petrified with astonsh- ment.
 The depth of this dirt varies con siderably. knew of party who was digging well in Hodgcman county who had got down Il depth ot 500 feet, and there seemed to be plenty of dirt under him then.
 There is no question in my mind but that the fish were the original in- habitants of these prairies, and the mastodon came next. He came be- cause he couldn't very well help it. He didn't even stop to pack his trunk
 When the water began to move il brought everything alon" with it. That is why we have found parts of the mastodon ill Africa, Siberia. New York state and Kansas. A, he was being carried over these different lo- calitics by the irresistible current, he turned aside now and then to shed q bone and tear His tears have cvap- oratcd long since. but his bones we come across occasionally.
 l think 1 have succeeded in fully explaining how fish came to be the first inhabitants of these prairic- One thing is true. that if l cannot prove my assertions, know that no one can rcfute them. should. how ever, any one be so skeptical a. to ask what Atlas stood on when he held the earth up, wish to say that that was his funeral, not mine. and if they want to know any more about it they lad better % and find out-if they cali- 1 can't.