Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-19
BRIGHT BITS.
'Mother, may go out and tobogT
es, my darling Claire,
Hunt up a heavy hard wood log
To hold down your hair"


" es, my darling Claire,
Hunt up heavy hard wood log
To hold down your hair"
Whitehall Times.
FIRST AcToR-Have you heard of the
dreadful accident that happened to Mr..
BLANK last night2
Second Actor-No; what is itS
my wife eloped with him. poor devil."-
IeGcdS Strings.
PoLITIcIAN-NOw you stand by us in this
matter, my boy, and wen have you In the.
United states Senate some day.
My Boy-Oh. no, you won't. ] don't want
to have my creditors sizing me up for mil
lionaire and worrying the life out of me-
Pittsbur0 Dispatch.
INTELLECTUAL TRAMP-The surplusage in
the National Treasury promises to be matter
of solicitude. In view Of
Practical Tramp-The surplusage doesn't
bother me. It's the shortage. What I'm
bothered about is where to get a nickel for
another drink. PhilddelDhid Cal.
Poor Young ARTIsT-Thatis an exact COW
Of one of Raphael's works, madame; an art
gallery on Fifth avenue charges $4,000 for
the original; you can have this for 50 25.
Madame-That seems TO be wide differ
ence i'll price.
Eyes, but don't have to pay Fifth avenue
rents, you know.'-Puck.
OMAHA MAN-Having trouble with your
Board of Health, hear?
NEW YORK MAN-Yes, they don't do any
thing right.
"Are they not physicians and scientists?"
physicians and scientists! Do you suppose
us taxpayers are trying to found college,
say2"
well, who Is at the head of it anvhowP"
FINEST man i'm New YORK; glorious war
record; killed more men than any half dozen
generals put ether."-Onadha World.
"a FEW years ago" says Mrs. a, II had a
servant who hated men. She was splnster
about 40 years of age, and she seemed to
cherish q settled aversion to the brothers of
the human family. One day she asked for nv
library ticket to go to our village library for
a book to read. recommended two or three
books which Thought she would find within
her capacity, but she found that they were all
out, and she chose book for herself. 1t was
'Darwins Descent of Man, 'Whv did Won
pick out this book. Biddyq asked her in sur S
prise. 'Shure, ma'am,' she replied, lit says
it's about a daycent man, and If there's one
daycent man top of ground thought I'd like
to be readin' about him: but it amt about
any man at all. ma'am, it's all about mon
keys, sure "-BOStOR Record.
FATHER" asked Rollo. "why is the snow
"Because," replied Rollo's father, sit comes
down."
"But light things" said Rollo. Ego up.n
Slider way" replied the father, SIT is the
same thing: That is what keeps you on your
but them" persisted Rollo, ''how do light
things ever come DOWN."
"This way" said Rollo's father, patiently
doubling light trunk strap and bringing it
down heavily upon the broad brow of his
sons back, and Rollo, after thanking his
father inaudibly, went to bed to conceal his
emotion.
Some time," said Rollo. 81 will learn to
close the cross-examination before the prose-
cutting witness loses his temper ."-BuJdette.
wINKs-Dou you believe the Spirits of the
departed can communicate with the living?
Jinks-Yes have had absolute proof Of il.
"You don't say SOP"
~ suppose you know when / married the
present Mrs. Jinks she was widow"
"Yes.'
''Well, some time afterward 1 went with a
friend to see a medium, just for the fun of
the thing, you know, and As sure as Pm alive
she gave me message from my wife's first
husband"
"In his writingI"
"Oh, mop
"Did you see him or hear. him talk?''
mo, the medium just told me what he
said"
Nonsense; then what proof have you that
the communication was genulne?"
HE said he was sorry for me."-O1ldho
World.