Morning journal and courier., 1887-04-25
EQUAL.

Ihe number Of women who really care {,
vote is about equal to the number of mel
who like to put the baby to sleep.
Ignatius Donnel1y is confident that Shakes
peare didn't write Shakespeare. Next time he'll
| tell US that Hamlet didn't write Hamlet -
| Lowell Courier.
1t is all well enough to say there is nothing
| in name; but suppose a man named
Slaughter should start summer hotel and
call it the Slaughter house a-Harper's Bazaar.
A st. Louis paper complains that the
streets of that city are not watered. We
consider that proof positive that Jay Gould
does not own the town.-Pittsburg Chroni-
Gle.
Irate old gentleman-Mary, what was that
noise heard in the kitchens Marv-FaithI !
a. little OF know, unless yez heard Mixes
kiss at partin'.-Texas Siftings.
A Childs Curiosity .-ssMother, have ont
any children?" asked little Johnny Fizzletop
"Why, no, child; what put that in your
head?" 81 read in the Bible about children's
children. That's what put it in my head. y
Texas Siftings.
A Burlington reporter asked an actress if
she had ever suffered from stage fright. She
replied that she never had except once when
crossing the Rocky mountains. The stage
came within an ace of being tipped over
precipice. Burlington Free Press.
GontTan to his doetor-ssYou attended nv
uncle; he died and I inherited his fortune. I
owe you a great deal indeed" Doctor
Sthlnk!ng ne saw chance to increase his
bilD-"And your wife?" Gontran-aoh, I
had forgotten. You cured her-so we're
quits. Paris Charivari.
Miss Cockett-"Y Yellow roses are supposed
to Indicate hlrtatiousness, and moss roses
mean love, do they not, Mr.. Neversmile?"
Mr.. Neversmile-"So I'm told; and white
roses mean silence" Miss Cockett-"WeII.
what do these large cabbage roses and Jacks
meana" Mr.. Neversmile-'iB Bankruptcy, Miss
Cockett-bankruptcy every time. ."-Harpers
Bazaar.
The Interstate Question-Mrs. Young
bride Honeymoon Ito husband, who is rail-
road president, )0"And are you sure you
will always, always love me more than you
will anyone else?" Mr.. Honeymoon (absent-
ly)-"Impossible to say. You see, it is very
doubtful whether the Interstate law will
allow me to make any discrimination. D
Harper's Bazar
''No, sir" thundered the old gentleman,
81 have made up my mind that my daughter
shall never marry man who plays poker"
'3She might do great deal worse, sir.'' elm
possible. Poker has proved the ruination of
thousands of men, and it's victims never re-
cover from the infatuation. She could never
do worse" Excuse me, sir; but am sure
she could. She might marry some fellow
that thinks he plays poker" The old man
thought it over.-Washington Critic.
Make was the little six year old daughter
of clergyman who had taken great pains
with her religious instruction, and had held
before her the goodness of the Supreme Be-
ing, SO that she should have in her mind
always his kindness and mercy as we'll as
power. One morning her mother, passing
the open door of the room in which the
child was playing, saw Miss Make standing
on chair before the mirror, with her face
close to it, scrutinizing her little phiz with
great earnestness. and with long sigh she
remarked, ssI don't see how God could have
given me such nose, when he knows how
particular I m."-Editor's Drawer, in Har-
per's Magazine for May.
The girls are making dresses for
The coming first of May,
In which to catch bronchitis or
What's worse, pneumonia.