Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-06-29

would have rendered more lasting
services to the country by being
hanged In view of the fact that the band
boys had only practiced during the rainy
days of four weeks land the farmers had
complained of dry weather., there was, I
reluctantly admit some justice in the re-
mark. When the band had ceased to har-
ass that great national air. "Molly OAR
ling" the Colonel climbed upon the plat
form. He sat down, and after looking over
a number of papers, turned to q friend and
with an air of great perplexity said
"Bill, by gings, I've lost that preshus
dockyment."
chats bad" Bill replied. "Ain't YOU
got somethin' else that'll do as well?"
"I amt got thing but cut throat
mortgages"
Read one of Them" Bill suggested.
"Tm almost afeerd.
ooh, YOU neenter be. Nobody will ever
know the difference, an sides that, the
Declaration of Independence was only the
liftin Of a mortgage after all.
chats fact, Billie. You've got a
great head on you, my son, an eff you
watch yore p'ints like yore Aunt Nancy
watchin' kittle of b 'ilin' soap, you'll own a
cross roads sto' an new suit of jeans one
of these here days. WALL" getting up,
| jump" ~
Then he faced the crowd and said: Gel
Ter citizens, we have met here On this
| solemn occasion-not so blamed solemn as
| you mout suppose-met on this lively oc-
casion-not so lively but it mout be worse
| to celebrate this great celebration.
will now read to you dockyment that"
Just then there arose the fearful cry of
mad dogs!" "Mad dogs!" Six or eight
terrific looking dogs had dashed into the
crowd, and the people were running for
their lives. Three of the dogs dashed UP
to the speakers stand, and, sitting down on
the ground, pointed their noses at the
Colonel and the members of the commit
tee. BY this time the crowd had dispersed.
| The Colonel and his friends were alone.
"Merciful heaven!" loudly mourned the
Colonel "they are going to Jump up here!"
| The dogs had begun to cut ugly capers.
"Grab limb an climb up in the tree"
some one shouted.
The Colonel seized limb, and after
every one else had found a safe lodgment,
he succeeded in climbing a short dis
lance, when, to his horror, he found that
| he could climb no further, and what made
the situation still more thrilling, he found
that the swinging limb dipped him down to
within a few feet of the most ferocious-
looking dog.
ooh, Lord" the miserable man groaned,
as he felt himself again dipped down, "l'll
bet anything he nabs me this time. Why
must I be burdened with SO much flesh?
Can't you relieve me of little of it?"
"The dog will do that" shouted some
one who was safe In the top of the tree.
"You scoundrel," shouted the Colonel,
"you internal scoundrel- Oh, Lord,
forgive me for using such harsh language,
for 1 am dipping down again. Oh, Lord,
did you see him snap at me? I'm gone
bet hundred dollars I'm gone. Look at
him! Oh, Lord, he's going to Jump at me.
Bet hundred an fifty I'm gone"
The day wore away in agony, and night
of misery settled down. The Colonel,
alternating between praying and betting
passed the night somehow, and when day
light came the worn out man saw that the
dogs were gone. The Colonel, unable to
climb down, turned loose and fell off like
a sloth.
Miles Brewer, early that morning, called
up pack of bloodhounds, and, as he fed
them, remarked:
Good old boys. They tell me that you
done yore work fine. Wouldn't take nothin'
fur you. Didn't hear the readin' of the
dockyment, did you? Good old boys"