Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1887-06-15
SYDNEY SMITH.
Famous Saying of the witty Canon
That Arc Worth Recalling.

As Sydney Smith was writing one
morning in his fsvOrlte bay wlnGo",
lonpous little man in rusty Dlae6 was
lshered in. May l ask what procure:
ne tbe honor of this yisitIn asked
sydney. "Oh," said tie little man
Il am compounding history OF tht
Jist1nguish families in SOmeTSets1lre
and have called to obtain the Smitf
arms. >, ssIregret, SIR" said the wit
not to be able 10 contribute to Sc
yaluab,y work. but the fact IS The
smiths never had any arms, and have
invariably sealed their letters Win
their thumbs"
at requires," said Sydney Smith,
"a surgical operation to get joke
geu into a Scotch understanding.
Their only idea Of wit, or rather thai
Inferior variety of the electric talent
which prevails occasionally IN the
North. and which, under the name ol
wit. IS SO infinitely distressing to people
of good taste, IS laughing immoder'
ateIy at stated intervals. They are &c
Imbued with metaphysics that they
syen make love metaphysics. l over
heard a young lady Of my acquaintance,
at a dance in Edinburgh, exclaim in
sudden pause Of the music, What you
saw. my lord, IS very true of love in the
abstract. but Here the iddlers
began fddling furiously and the rest
was lost.n
Sydney Smith, calling, one day upon
a feIloW-contributOr 10 the Edinburgh
Rerielr. found him reading a book
preparatory to writing an account Of il
and expostulated with him. never, y
said the wit, "read a book before re-
viewing 1t, it pTejudices one So"
OF some one: lie has no command
oyer his understanding; il is always
getting between his legs and tripping
him up.
OF marriage: "It resembles a pain
of shears-sO joined that they cannot be
separated: often moving in opposite
directions, yet always punishing any
one who comes between them"
A beautiful young girl walking IL
Sydney Smiths garden exclaimed, on
noticing a plant which was IN some
way injured, "Oh, Mr.. Smith, this
pea will never come to perfectiOni'
Permit me, then, said the host, TAX
ing her hand, 10 lead Perfection TO the
pea"
The Court Of Chancery is like a
boa constructor, which swallows up the
estates of English gentlemen in haste
and diIe5ts them at leisure"
Of Mr.. and Mrs. Grote: 81 like
them, Ike them; L like him, he is so
ladyhke; and [ like her, sizes such a
perfect gentleman"
On the departure OF Bishop Selwyn
for his diocese in New Zealand:
"Good-by, my dear Selwyn; l hope you
will not disagree with the man who eats
you"
mo, don't Ike dogs, always ex-
pect them TO 90 mad. A lady asked
me once for a motto for her dog Spot.
proposed, Out, damned spot!' but she
did not think it sentimental enough" !"
Sydney smith being III, his physician
advised him 20 take exercise on an
empty stomach" Upon whose empty
stomach?'' said be.
1.-The French certainly understand
the art Of furnishing better than we do;
the pTofusion Of glass IN their rooms
gives such gayety. l remember enter
ing a room with glass all round it, at
the French Embassy, and saw myself
reflected on every side. l took 1t for a
meeting OF the clergy, and was delight
ed, of course"
Sydney Smith described the future
condition of Croker as ''disputing with
the recording angel about the dates of
his sins"
To Mrs. Grote. as she was getting
into her carriage for long journey,
$50 where you VIII, do what you like,
say what you please, have the utmost
confidence in your indiscretion.