The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-06
SETTLED THE QUESTION.

lntOAlcatlDS! recently came up De- fore the "Arkansaw Temperance Brotherhood" The members were about equally divided. Some of the old men, who, years ago, laughingly hung to the corners of the dark red side board declared old orchard cider to be wholly inoffensive, while other old fellows equally ripe in snch mem ories vowed that old orchard cider, if its pleasure were consulted, would ask for no happier occasion than an unre- strained holiday with a temperance advocate. The discussion grew so warm and seemed so difficult of settle ment by argument, that member proposed the appointment of com mittee, whose duty it should be to go out into the country. make thor ough investigation and report at a meeting to be held the following night. The proposition was received with favor. The committee consisted of three gentlemen, old Colonel Abra- ham P. Bellbuckle, who has created a reform wherever he has raised his persuasive voice; Major Anthony K. Tupelo, who was at one time an able and brilliant, but unassuming, drunk ard, and Captain Toney 7. Grinding, who, several years ago, attracted the attention of the public by his bright but unassuming sprees.
 These gentlemen, devoted to the cause of temperance, did not seek the honor of this distinguished appoint ment. They knew we'll the grave re- responsibilities resting upon the posi- ton, but now that they were ap- pointed, they were determined to dis charge their duty regardless of per- sonal considerations.
 They had proceeded but a short distance when they came to a small log farmhouse.
 "They've got an old orchard" said the colonel.
 "Yes," replied the major, "and I believe that l see cider mill under one of the trees. Suppose we go over"
 They went to the house, and were met by an old fellow who showed his hospitality by telling them to make themselves at home, and who, at the same time, proved his lack of foolish pride by asking for chew of tobacco When the colonel, who was the chair man of the committee, explained the cause of the visit, the old fellow stretched his elastic mouth across his face, and replied:
 "Wall, fellers, 1 am with you. am good deal uv CT temperance man myself, now that have stopped drink in whisky an tuck ter gin, an want ter say right here that I'll help you with this business. ain't got no right fresh cider, but Pve got some hats jest a leetle old. The boys made it outen hoss apples the other day an squiz it out through a thin rag, so she's about as fine as they make it."
 "I suppose that will answer our purpose" the colonel replied. "Yeu are sure, presume, that it is old orchard cider"
 "Yander air the trees. Reckon they are nigh onto fifty years old"
 That part is all right" said the captain, "bring us some of the cider" :"
 He took up large yellow pitcher, with an opening like the mouth of a gaping steer, and soon placed before the committee the foaming liquid, brown and tempting.
 Captain" said the colonel, q don't know that it is-"
 "Is what, colonel?"
 'I was going to say that I don't know that it is necessary for us to really drink any of it."
 "Yes," said the major, "but we ought to take little of it just to- well, just to sec"
 That's it, exactly" responded the major. "Pour out some, please; just little, you understand"
 "Ah," said the colonel, as he put down his glass, there's nothing intox- icating about that"
 "Nothing at all" responded the captain, nothing at all. Although l was of the opinion while the matter was under discussion that cider was a deadly intoxicant, yet I confess that my mind has changed somewhat, my dear sir, (addressing the old fellow). Will you please fill up those glasses again?"
 Do you think we ought to take any more?" the colonel asked.
 "What difference does it make 90 long as it is not intoxicating?" the ma jor asked.
 "You are right. Fill up the glasses again, my good man. So far is it from Intoxicating . man it makes him feel soberer than he was before drinking