The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-02-05
mR. AND 4 MRS. eoWsER.

ready, you know
81 don't know any thing of the kind!
II can't get ready three times to your
once, and with onc-tonth the fuss, I'll
60 Off and kick myself to death! While |
lam not a so-callcd Christian, Mrs. |
Bowser, Iproposo TO respect the Lords
day by going to church, and l propose
you'll do the same"
"Oh, | intended to 60"
"Oh, you did And perhaps you
were expecting me to stay home and
saw wood or play poker!'
We have breakfast at eight o'clock
Sunday mornings. At half-past seven
vas up, aud called to Mr.. Bowser,
who lay on the broad of his back with
his hands locked under the back of his
neck.
"Y-e-s!' he groancd.
Five minutes later called him
again.
"Y-e-s!
Mr.. Bowser, it's a quarter to eight"
Cant you let teller sleepP"
But you are going to church"
At sharp eight got him out of bed,
but it was half-past before we sat down
to breakfast, and nine o'clock before
we got up. Thou he went off to dress,
but it wasn't five minutes before he
shouted:
Mrs Bowser, where's my Shirt?"
why, in your bureau drawer of
course"
There isn't a single Internal shirt
there! I'll bet hundred dollars the
laundry hasn't come ups
went upstairs and pulled out the
drawer, and there lay six clean shirts,
why didn't you say in the top
drawer?' he growled, and went down
stairs to hear him, three minutes later,
calling to me:
Mrs. Bowser, have got = pair of
pantaloons in this house,"
"Of course you have. Your Sunday
pantaloons are in the closet. "
mo, they amt! I've looked the
blasted house from top to bottom, and
they amt to be found!''
went up and showed them to him,
hanging right before his eyes. At the
same time | got him u collar, laid out
his cuffs and necktie, and put his coat
and vest on chair got ten minutes
rest before he beloved over the banis-
ter:
''Mrs. Bowser, il was wife and
mother and housekeeper I'd pay some
attention to my husbands wardrObe!'
What's waited now?"
This collar won't fit! You've gone
and let that swindling laundryist steal
all my collars and send me up old rags
in the place of them!'
I went up and showed him his own
mark on every collar, and fitted one to
his neck in half 4 minute. had got
down and finished combing my hair
when he <Iddenly uttered a war-whoop
and followed it up with;
Mrs. Bowser, I've busted the buckle
of my vost!'
well, you must pin the straps to-
gether."
IN be hanged if do? If you had
looked my clothes over yesterday, as a
faithful wife would have done, this
could not have hsppenedV"
l ran up and sowed the buckle on,
and had just got down again when he
called:
did you tell the cook to black my
boots?"
why, no."
"Of course you didn't! That's just
the kind of hair-piu you are! How
on earth this house has run so long as il
has is a mystery to mel"
carried his boots out to the cook and
promised her new collar to shine them
up. BY that time Mr.. Bowser came
downstairs
Mrs. Bowser, look at those cufs!'
he exclaimed in q terrible voice as he
held them out to me.
whats the mattcrP'
"Matter! Why, I've broken both my
thumbs trying to get the buttons into
'eml II you were like other wives
you'd"
I slipped the buttons in before he
could finish the sentence, and then rar
to dress me. la about three minutes
heard a terrible grunting and roaring
in the sitting-room. and Mr.. Bowsei
called:
"By the living gum! but why was
ever fool enough to marryP"
what is it now"
Here's hay on my plug hat-ou m!
Sunday hat-a whole load of hay!n
you were up in the barn loft tn,
other day when you had it on, remem
Der. 1t win brush off,
"Ohl it wilt Wen see if it does
I'll wear it Just ~ it is, and let every
body sec what kind of a wife I've gotl'
made three minutes further prog
,,rs toysrd dressiur. when he shouted,