The National tribune., 1887-02-10
A WAR MEMORY,
The COrOding Pain That Lasts for a
Lifetime.
BY A. 4. W., BEAUMONT, PA.

q
1 iect the half has never been nor ever can be
/ told. But while so much has been deseryedly
said on this subject, little has been written OF
/ the trials aud suffering of the mothers, wives
and sisters at home. That record is branded
/ in throbbng aching wounds on their hearts
and is read only 10y Him who reads all hearts
I as nm open book.
! Tonight as ] sit by my lonely ireside and
my mind goes back TO the past, my own heart
is sore and bleeding under the cruel lash OF
memory. viii tell you why. When the war
f broke out j was living with my two brothers
on a small farm near Reading. Max, the eld-
est of my brothers, was a lawyer with good
/ practice in town. Ned farmed the little place
aud helped me keep house. Ny mother died
4 when was 10 years old, and soon after was
sen, 10 bOarding-schoo where j remained six
+ years. During that time Ned was at school ana
Max boarded in town.
/ When ! came hack from school and Ned had
] finished his college course, we three set up
! housekeeping in the old home. We kept one
servant a spnster who had lived with my
mother several years before her death. For
two years ours was a happy home,
THEN CAME THE WAR.
shall never forget the day my boys came
home to me in soldiers uniform. How grand
and noble they lOOked-yet howthe sight made
my heart grow sick with misery. They had
joined a company of volunteers that was form
/ ing in our neghborhood, and would leave
! home in few days Those were trying days
! for me; j think sometimes they were the hard
est of my life. But / tried TO be brave for
Neds sake, for in spite of his 81 years he was
only boy, and the heart that beat under his
soldiers dress was as tender as il was brave;
and il was as hard for him to leave his home
and me, as il was for me to let him go.
When the last moment of parting came he
broke down completely and sobbed like child.
Max was older than Ned, nearly 10 years, and
| had learned TO meet trouble more manfully.
But knew his great heart was breaking at
leaving me so lonely in the old home.
cit is hard 10 leave you, darling" he said,
/ taking me in his strong arms and kissing my
wet cheeks. God only knows how hard.
But il is duty that calls US and we must obey
/ j have tried 10 make things as easy and pleas
ant for you while 1 am gone as i could. Jack
! Morrison and his wife will stay with you and
look after the place till i come back-if that
should ever be--and have left money enough
in Phil Marsden's hands 10 furnish you with
whatever you need while j am gone. But
Ruthie and he bent his head and whispered
the words in my ear-"if you could only find
il in your heart TO
BE KIND TO PHIL
/ could leave you with lighter heart. he is
noble fellow, and i could feel SO safe to leave
you in his care"
l6Ss VIII w dS sOu Aloiis l1aAf
ed, scarcely needing what / said; but / saw
Max's grave face light up with smile of
/ pleasure.
Nov, good-by, little sister, and God bless
you"
With another hasty embrace they left me- !
watched them 60 down the front walk, feeling
as though all the JOY and sunlight had gone
out from our home forever. Ned turned when
he reached the gate, 70 take long, last look at
the dear old home. Poor Ned twas, indeed,
his last look; for he never came back. never
saw his face again. And do you wonder that
my heart broke when they told me how he
died in hated Andersonyille?
Even now, after so many years have passed
away, never sit down TO a well-filed table
without remembering that my poor brother
died Of hunger, begging with his dying lips for
a mOrsel of bread. i never listen TO the beat
ing storms without thinking how he lay for
days and weeks in that horrible place, too
weak and i'll 20 rise with the pitiless wintry
storms beating upon him. i have followed
many friends 20 their last resting-place, but
the bitterest memory that ever comes to me as
j stand by an open grave is the thought they
buried my poor Ned like dog, without
A COFFIN, or EVEN A GRAVE"
IL was well we could not see, that Summer
morning, all the misery the future held for US
Days and weeks dragged slowly by. Time
never seemed TO move so slowly as during those
days Of anxious waiting for news. AT first
heard from the boys quite often, but after
while the letters became more irregular; tn,
army was on the move. Sometimes a week ol
even two would pass without bringing me {
letter Then would grow wild with anxiety
j could not eat or sleep while thought tha
perhaps one or both Of my brothers were lying
stark and cold on some battlefield. How
, eagerly searched the daily papers, especially
after there had been an engagement, for new
Of the dead and wounded. But as time wore OF
became little more recOnciled TO my broth
ers' absence, and as they had been in seyera
hard fought battles i began TO hope they wer
among the fortunate few who would come bacl
unhurt.
Now that ] had time TO remember IT, my
promise 10 Max in regard 10 Phil Marsdei
filled me with a strange unrest Max and Phi
had been like twin brothers all iheir life. The.
Y had played together in childhood, had sat il
the same seat aud studied the same lessons a
school, had read law in the same Office, AM
+ later had been partners in a law firm in Read
/, | ing, PHI WAS often at our house, and i nc
5 garded him more as a brother than a friend
!. But when j was l6 ] was greatly startled an'
0 somewhat annoyed by Phil suddenly, withou
] any preliminary woOing, asking me 10 MARI
: him. OF course i refused him.
! But time does much 10 change ones senti
ments, and during these two years had learne
j. TO appreciate Phil MaTsden's noble character
e j had good reason TO believe that he cared fo
v me still, but he was proud man and / some
!. times doubted whether he would ever agai
:. ask me 10 be his wife. We were the best {
) friends, and he always acted as my escort o
II all occasions where an escort was necessary
Indeed. a great many people thought we wer
engaged. Now that the boys were gone he wa
kinder TO me than ever. And when, one da
- in early Autumn,
j. HE ASKED ME AGAIN
n TO be his wife, / answered, "Yes" As soon
II Mrs. Marsden heard of our engagement she il
,t sisted on my coming 10 live with her until m
10 marriage, which would take place in q fe
n weeks.
10 But my happiness was Of short duration
ie ere two weeks had passed Phil was drafted. II
Ds would not send "A substitute
,; mo- no, Ruthie" he said when suggeste
& the plan 10 him, "Ihave felt all along how mea
Of and cowardly il was Of me 10 stay here en- joyiu
II myself while thousands Of drawer men than
i. are away fighting for our country; and no
IS, that my country demands my service will 4
as longer shrink from duty"
lg God knows there was fierce battle fougI
d. in my heart in that hour, but the conflict w
IA soon ended. Love, Hope Happiness went dow
ID under the cruel sword of Duty. He went al
ID we were left, as thousands of Others were,
er bear our sorrow as best we could. Mrs. Marsd,
re would not hear of my leaving her now. 81
he had no daughters Of her own and she need,
ht me, she said. So j rented the old home al
AT came 10 live with her.
at Phil was wounded at Gettysburg and sent
pt the hospital at Philadelphia. The day follol
1T ing the one that brought be this news foul
a / nv NaV a him 1 raaplad fba hnsnif