The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1887-10-22
HE KNEW IT ALL.
An Individual whose Demise Did Not Call
Forth Many Tears.

An Individual whose Demise DID Not CAL
Forth Many Tears.
Among the people l have known.
there is at least one man whom | shall /
never forget. He was genial gentle
man. liberal to fault, and crowded with
vitality. / esteemed him highly, end |
yet can not say that was sorry when
heard of his death. Indeed, 1 think |
that death has improved him; it has
done good thing for him. | am sure
it has for me.
The fact is. he knew so much about |
every thing in which nobody but him !
self could by any possibility take the |
smallest interest, and he was SO ready |
at all times to empty his store of use
less information into ones ear, that he
was terror to meet. and 10 be with |
a nightmare. So when he departed
this life, and l reflected that never
again should be compelled to listen
to his inane eloquence, wiped my
tears away, and, if | remember rightly,
/ even succeeded in calling up a smile.
Robnson-for that wasn't his name
could and would talk for hours upon
1 a.
were some thing no person in his right
mind could care any thing about; and
| he made no distinction of persons. He
| was free and alfable to all, the humble
alike with the rich and great. He was
as liberal with his diversified garrulity
to the day laborer as to the merchant
prince, or as he would have been to the
| = Of
the Cannibal Islands, had it been the
misfortune of either of those potentates
to fall into his company.
1t was surprising. the many things
he knew. He could tell you, and did
tell you, a thousand and one things in
fifteen minutes that you were thankful
to Providence you were able TO forget
in fifteen seconds; for though he lived
and prospcred upon his earnivorous
1 diet, the food which he dealt out SO
generously must have given his guest a
mental dyspepsia if nature had not re-
VOTED and forthwith expelled it,
He knew. for instance, the name OF
every engine-driver, fireman and
brakeman upon each of the several
railway lines entering the city; he could
inform you where each one of them
purchased his overalls. and where he
, bought his tobacco. Nay, he would
tell you the grade of cloth of which the
aforementioned overalls were made,
, the name of the mills where that cloth
/, was woven and the name of the man
who cut them out and the name of the
woman who sewed them together. He
, knew how many buttons were upon
each pair, and whether the overalls
, were suspended from the wearer's
shoulders or girted about his waist He
was acquainted with each man S favor
, lite brand of tobacco, and would inform
/, you with due impressiveness that this
!, one affected cigars, that that one took
, cigar or pipe with engaging impair
tiality, that another devoted his ener-
gies exclusively to the seductive pipe,
and that still another abstained from
,, all igneous dissipation, and confined
his efforts in the tobacco line 10 masti-
| cation.
, Robinson could, in short, tell you
, any thing you did not want to know
about the personal and material i'm
= pedimenta of the railroads, the time
= to minute when any given train was
due at cross road, a deep cut or high
: fill He knew when each engine was
last painted, together with the name
!, and characteristics of the man who
:. held the brush, and he knew to a GER
a tainty just how many ties there were
;, between that clump of trees over there
to the semaphore just beyond the rec
!, bridge.
But it was not upon railroads alone
that he could talk with eloquent
= minuteness. He was equally CONVEX.
SAINT with the number of shingles that
= covered the roof of yonder dwelling
y house, with the date upon which
!, Spriggins bailt his hennery, and witt
. the identical words which Mrs. K
:, uttered when Enderby joined thu
!. Masons.
And so about every thing. He wa
,, a mine of useless information, and HI
!. never wearied in exposing his treasure
= to all eomers Indeed, he did no
wait for Corners He was always seek
!, ing out new ears into which TO pour hi
- diversified knowledge. He even wen
so far as to buy stylish team for TIL
10 sole purpose of carrying said ears abou
~ with him. 1t was his pleasure to invit
a somebody, no matter who, into his cal
- riage, and then to deluge his CUES
:, with ceaseless talk made up of accurat
r. information upon the unconsidere
- trif1cs of a busy world.
:. He would pay for yourdinner gladly
~ so that it gave him the opportunity c
n filing your ears while you filled you
stomach. His house was at your servic
% at any time, your auditory nerves bein
- at his service meantime, and he neve
"a was in so great hurry that he woul
~ not give you an hour of his time an
N q4antuna snffcit of his useless informi
|, ton.
- Well, well, he is gone, and he ha
carried his information with hin
Verify, there is no loss in this worl
without some compensating gain!-
Boston Transcript.