The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-10-19
Pith and Point.

THERE Is an American at the COrean capl-
tai trying to obtain a contract to construct
street railroad.
A MAN died in New Hampshire the other
day who had not been away from home for
forty-three years.
SOME men would think they were cheated
II they had the mumps lighter than their
neighbor Journal.
A PARIS correspondent says that broad
brmmed hats and "pegtop F." trousers are
the coming things for men of fashion.
THAT depends" was the non-committal
reply of Fogg when he was asked his opin-
ion relative to "a horses tail.-Boston Tran
script.
AN exchange says Gettysburg is becoming
a summer resort. So 1t was in 1868, but it
was much warmer then.-NeW Orleans
Pjcdyune.
FIRST little girl: My father is an editor;
what does yours do?" Second little girl:
Whatever mamma tells him. .Fhilddel-
phid Ne,cS.
AN Albany lady who thought she was
dying called her husband to her side and
made him promise that he would not print
her age in the death notice.
A WISCONSIN Judge, in order to accommo-
date two lawyers who desired to return
home as speedily as possible, allowed them
to argue their case on train.
A SILVER dollar split in two, followed
out and filed with a compound of glass
and anthony, which gives it the correct
ringing sound, is the latest counterfeit to be
put in circulation.
BJENKs says they may call it civil war
Just as much as they please, but he remem-
bers meeting some rebel gentlemen down
in Alabama in '62 who treated him with
gross impoiteness
In extending the street of Geneva in
Rome the foundations have been discovered
of house belonging to Emilia Paulina
Asiatica, sister-in-aw of Scipio, the con-
queror of Hannibal.
DENTIST (Sindly) "Now does that hurt?"
Patient; II don't mind your working on
the tooth so much but if you will just ease
your sleeve-button out of my right eye I'll
be obliged. "-Hdrper'S Bdzdr.
NEVER contract friendship with a
man who is not better than yourself, says
one of those gratis advice-writers. That's
all very well, as far as you are concerned,
but how about the other fellow?
THE past year was very disastrous one
for South Australia. The harvest was a
failure, the wool market was depressed and
a time of unprecedented commercial de-
preston told severely on all classes.
j. NJ. BAILEY, once famous as the wit of
the Danbury NeocS, has faded from the hui
morous world and is now an actor in a daily
repeated domestic tragedy. His wife is in
sane and demands his entire attention,
THIS is all nonsense about the Shake
speare-Bacon theory" remarked old Money
bags looking up from the paper "the idea
of saying that Shakespeare never wrote any
thing! Why, I've read his plays myself"
THE corn palace in Sioux City, Iowa, is
constructed entirely of ears of corn and is a
wonderful affair. All the decorations in
side are made of corn, and at the lunch
counter corned beef is the piece de re-
sistance.
A LONDON advertisement interesting to
admirers of DIR. johnson offers for sale the
house in which he was born 17S years ago,
describing it as a "large, substantially
built and commodious dwelling-house, with
Diapers shop"
A WESTERN paper says that a young
woman electrified the people by galloping
into the city astride horse in female at
tire" 1t would seem as if horse in female
attire might electrfy most people whether a
young lady were astrde of it or not.
THERE is something saddening about a
ripe cucumber to philosopher. Itsuggests
lost opportunity. Earlier in life that worth.
less and despised seed-cucumber might have
been lively, delectable and esteemed
gerkin, put up in fancy bottle and sold at
fancy price.
A MAN with a paper, ostensibly pledge
not to kill bird for year. is said to be
travelling over some parts of the country
He talks well and gets the farmers to sign
what appears to be so excellent document
but the paper, it is alleged, has way of be
and makes trouble.
THE son of a well-known Louisville physi
clan recently went to California and en-
gagged in the tombstone business. In a let
ter to his father he writes: There are bu
four physicians here, and think you would
do well in San Jose. | know that with you
nearer to me | would be more encouraged
in my effort to build up paying business.
90 IT has been ascertained," says an ex
change, " that the umbrella is far older thai
the pyramids" Our esteemed contempt
rary undoubtedly refers to the umbrell;
which was left in place of our new silk para
chute at the sewing-bee last night. We ar,
inclined to believe that he UNDERSTANDS TIL
age of the venerable relic.-BOStOn Tran
script.
WHEN President Bartlett entered the OLE
chapel of Dartmouth College, the 18th, t,
preside over the senior forensics before TIL,
college, he found full-blooded live jackas
tied to The pulpit. After the laughter an,
cheering subsidized, President Bartlett cam
forward and said: 81 perceive some of yo
have lost your brother" Then he Ordere
the exercises to proceed and the donke
was an honored guest during the exercises
In Toxic, Japan, there is handsome an
commodious railway station. There are
number of street-car lines and the street
are lighted with gas. Telegraph line
stretch in all directions; high schools an
common schools are being established an
the University will compare favorably wit
many in this country. There are man
hourishing factories already established
and altogether the city is more like a
American than an Oriental town.
A FATHER had been lecturing his son upo
the evils of staying out late at night an
getting up late in the morning. Yo
never will amount to anything" he COZ
tinued, unless you turn over new lea
Remember that the early bird catches tn
worm" "How about the worm, father?
inquired the young man. borrowing the oil
sarcasm; wasn't he rather foolish to g
up so early?" "My son." replied the oil
man, solemnly, that worm hadn't been
bed at all. He was on his way home."-
Boston Youths Companion.
YOUNG Mr.. Witherspoon of Birmingham
Conn, is the newestinventor who thinks thu
he has found the secret of perpetual motion
His published words show the state
his mind, if he is rightly reported: "
mean to say that | have invented an engiI
or motor which, without any supply
power from without, cannot only maintai
It's own motion indefinitely, or as long
| the material of which it is made lasts, bl
can also be applied to all kinds of machiner
and therefore do external work. To
more explicit, my machine means devi'
for creating power or energy without co
responding expenditure of energy"
/ WAS asking an old druggist recent