The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-06-08
HJJM0n.
HALF the pepper sold consists Of Prs.

HALF the pepper sold consists OF prs.
A MEAN temperature-Ten degrees
below zero.
WHERE there's will there's gener-
ally way-to contest 1t.
STRANGE as it may seem, when
money is close it Is difficult to get very
near il.
OYSTERS should be eaten only in
cold weather, but salt and pepper are
always seasonable.
"ARE you fond of tongue, sirp" II
was always fond Of tongue, madame,
and like it STILL"
IF man was suddenly struck blind
what would he say to his wife :? II
haven't an eye, dear"
THE largest dog in America is owned
by a leather dealer, who runs tan
merry off the bark of the dog.
IT is admitted. fnr and wide. n
That IL has been the maiden aim,
Since first the world of ones began,
To change the maiden name.
-Tid-Btts.
LITTLE GIRL-Please mum, PAS
got chill, an he wants to know If he
can come over and shake yer carpets.
"JUsT bought this donkey, Jones.
What do you think of my purchaser"
Most remarkable case of self-posses-
sion / ever knew"
WHAT am likely to draw if l buy
lottery ticket?" asks a rural sub
scriber. We never succeeded In draw
ing anything but a long BREATH
Rambler.
CAsHIER-I wish to marry your
daughter, sir. May / have herr Pro-
the books We'll, suppose I'd better
give my consent. l want to keep the
money in the family.
"GoT any invisible ink?" he asked |
of the stationer. Don't think have"
replied the man, as he scanned the
shelves. "You don't think you'd see
it if you had. do your" asked the boy.
whats the use of being invisible if
you can be ?"-Detroh Free Press.
AN irate passenger in one of our
street cars called the conductor to him
and said, "Your company prohibits
smoking in these cars, believer"
Eyes sir"
"Then why do you permit that oil
lamp to remain?"
"That lamp only smokes, sor, when
it goes out. "-Chicago Ledger.
RETRIBUTIoN-Yo ung lawyer Ito
client)-They can't hang you for a
murder you didn't commit.
Client-That's the Judges sentence:
''To be hanged by the neck until am
dead"
Young lawyer (thoughtfully) All
right; you just 90 ahead and let 'em
hang you, and I'll make 'em sweat for
it.
FAIR DAUGHTER-Pa dear, why are
you so gloomy? Come, cheer up and
talk to your little Dot. Papa dear
Well, dear, if you must know, l think
there1 have to be receiver appointed
for my bank soon. +. D.-Why,
that is just too lovely. A receiverl
And why can't you be dear good
father and appoint me? Then L would
have to receive, and / could have love-
" new reception dress: your just the
dearest papa in the world, but you do
love to look gloomy about nothing
Pdtsb,ug Bulletin.
A DOMESTIC IDYL. 4
After the baby came, how changed the place
The old home frightened with n newer grace;
The roses grew more thickly round the door,
And softer were the sunbeams on the floor;
Full sweeter was the song of every bird
From that glad day his little voice heard
Growing and cooling in such queer delight
But there was more walking done at night
After the baby came. 4
After the baby came it seemed IA though
Earth could not be so full of grief and woe,
That all the gates of happiness and bliss
Were opened to us through that baby's kiss.
Master was he of wondrous tricks and arts,
BY which he won his way into our hearts,
From that first hour heard his feeble wall
Yet how barked my shins at midnight pale
After the baby camel
-Hdrper's Bdzdr