New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-10-30
THE FORTUNES OF WAR.
OR
THE FEUD OF THE CALLAHAN-O'GRADY
Why, twill be Just the same!


luck would have it, each fixed her fancy upon q
particularly large and handsome founder which
Law upon the Shiny marble slab The two women
mad come up to the stall at about the some
moment 1t was not Bridget Calahans fault that
the dealer dark skinned Italian with sleepy
black eyes. happened TO see her first, but the
0Grady chose to think so and abused her roundly
while the Italian rolled up the fish in piece OF
coarse brown raper. counted out his customer
change, and bowed his thanks.
The tide Of Intellectual wrath which issued
from Mrs. OGrady's lis surprised no one ac-
customed to the place 1t seemed rather to delight
its object. Norah OGrady was small woman
stout and firm set as an ale bottle, with rather
long neck and a small head, which was on this
occasion crowned with sailor hat belonging 10
her little daughter, presumably snatched up py
mistake in her haste to get out for her daily
marketing. Mrs. Callahan, on the other hand
was of generous proportions, with large, fat
face and serene blue eyes that could be savage
enough upon occasion. And she gorgeOusly
arrayed wearing q brilliant FALSELY shawl with
81 fiery rcd centre, q vaunt of social superiority
which she had waved before Mrs OGrady for
years.
They met again at the door of the market. and
nssailed each other with a mutual storm of in
vective, for which the fish acted as an excuse.
Both knew that there would lie no making
up" or taking back" The day for reconciliation
was long gone by Just when this crisis had passed
il would he difficult TO say Whether ii occurred
on the day. ten years gone by, that the
two families first took up their abode in cottages
side by side and Mrs. Galatians Tim threw
dead cat at Mrs. O'Grady, and Mrs. OGrady
retaliatcd by crushing pane OF glass in the
Callahan domicile in her efforts to punish the
culprit. and Mrs Callahan appeared upon the
49, cd nd
beating CARPETS. and essayed ~ tp,:c the carpet
stick to Mrs. O'Grady. to her own discontinue;
whether these small beginnings which were liable
70 occur in any families of the Callahan ana
O'Grady circle, formed the animus and incentive
20 after hOstilties. who can say? Certain II is
that the war had been kept up with unabated
vicor ever since. There is certain convenience
in ouarreling over q back fence, which people
who have bad to nurse their wrath at distance
will readily appreciate. Anger has no chance 10
cool as when time and distance intervene. over
the cook stove. the washtub. ironing. sweeping
scrubbng. rocking their babies, the voices of
each could penetrate the others domicile. 1t is
needless 10 say that they made free use of their
Opi ortunitieS. If there an Opprobrous eplthet
in tic vocabulary of billinCSgate practised IN
Goats IIoll0w-that choice quarter of san Fran
cisco where both had the honor TO claim resi-
lcnce which they had not at some time hung
az each other during their intercourse together,
both would have thanked YOU TO make il known
that they might at once atone for the deficiency.
They had resorcd TO every expedent to prove
their genuine ncighborly feeling. When Mrs. cara
han hung her washing over the back fence, Mrs.
O'Grady sprnllcd it literally with dish water.
The soil in both bac<N ards was generally mulchcd
with broken crocllery, old bottles bustles corset
stocls. battered tin cans, and other neiehborly
courtesicS which had been exchanged over this
convenient back fence.
In some ways this fcud had been OF great bene-
fit 10 both families. 1t had served as sort OF
safety valve for the nllicting emotions which
often disturb the peace of a household. How much
bodily fat.uc and parental irr tation the TWO
mothers had worked OFF upon each other Will
lrobaby never be known With the youngsters
proximate estimate of the exact amount OF
viciousness spared their own flesh and blood
might easily be made. When Tim Callahan was
spanked by his mother. he Immediately cuied a
younc O'Grady When Annie Grady was denied
n new froclS She made faces at Tim Callahan
The little Galatians and O'Gradys spared and
scratched and bit and stoned each other with
JromiscuOus zeal
For time the heads Of the two families
alstained from any active participation in the
general scrimmagc. looking with dignified indulg-
gcnce upon the clashings of the two weaker
vessels. Little by little they were drawn into the
conflict Some dcIrcdations Of more than usual
atfocity had fred O'Grady's blood, Callahan had
been wrought TO a frenzy by the combined effects
Of an insulting taunt and an unusually generous
evening dram. the two men had forthwith INDUCED
in a Touchdown fight, and having once aired their
grievances within the arena of the police court,
regularly contributed TO swell It's annals.
At tie time which write an interesting bit of
lit cation was pending between the two families.
The O'Gradys kept poultry and a sorry lot OF
fowls they were, MANNED and crippled by the
persecution OF the Galatians Nevertheless feeble
triIe of ducks and geese and hens wandered
about the back ward. secured the odorous
precincts of Goats Hollow, contrvng TO pick
up prccarouS living Sometimes they ventured
on the premises Of ncighbOrs and were driven
away with many a loud "shOO." shower Of dirt
or waving of dish towels. Now, the Galatians
had q flower garden which was at once their
glory and their PRIDE being gorgeous with
Ihowy gcraniums prcllly with cactus, and rcdoIcnt
with herbs. The OGrady fowls. sharing the family
luminosity spicd out this humble paradise. and
tesiegcd il with persistence that was positively
ghoulish By day and by night. through chink
and crcvce and gates left carelcSsy aJar they
invaded the Callahan garden and uprootcd the
choicest plants. Wien the Galatians walled them
out they burrowcd under; when they laid
coping of rocks around the entire lot they still
contrivcd TO make periodical marauds II was
privately whispered that the OGradys used TO
ect up step ladder in their yard TO assist the
fowls in their depredatons BE this it may,
The Galatians at length got dog. fierce yellow,
,Shiskcrcd canine, with q stub tail and evil
eve warranted TO be death on fowls. Thereafter
when a chicken or duck or goose stole into the
Callahan grounds, its manglcd body was promptly
fiuno back over the fence. The OGradys could not
stand this long. One day Mr.. OGrady paid
visit 10 nciehboring druggist. and the next
morning the Callahan dog was stiiT and stark.
That day at noon Mr.. Callahan swore out a
warrant for the arrest Of Mr.. OGrady and the
trial OF the latter set for week from the
day on which our story begins Both families
were 10 be out in force, and the suit promised to
be the occasion for airing long list CT grievances
on both sides.
As the feminine heads Of these two warning
factions continued their homeward walk it must
not De imagined that they took opposite sides OF
the street Had they belonged TO different grade
OF society they would doubtless have contented