Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-01-07
FUN.

A HORSE frequently wins . raca .,
the spur of the moment.
WHEN were eggs first laid in En-
gland? In the time of Hen. I q,
course.
WHEN the farmer hears crows in III,
cornfield he thinks there is caws ia,
anxiety.
Two HEADS ought to be better than
one. -Four lips are certainly better
than two.
WHY should you never tell a secret
to quill pen? Because it is almost
certain to split.
IT has been found that the termins.
ton "atic" in the word "lunatic" and
fanatic" refers to the upper story.
$50 DO II" sighed the tramp, as he
gazed wishfully at the clothing-house
placard: Zone dollar pants for 50
cents"
A 25.cENT hat is rather commoI
kind of head covering, but it will go
long way if overtaken by good stid
breeze.
A RECENT novel has this passage
"And with both arms clasped tightly
about her slender waist lie stroked he
hair fondly."
BRowN-I hear you have sold on
your newspaper. Black-Yes, I'm goils
in for making money. Brown-Indeed
Going to become a money-lender
Black-No, I am going to become re
vivalist. Boston Courier.
TH1RTY-Two hundred babies are bor1
in the United States every day, but
man never thinks of the other thirty
one hundred and ninety-nine when b
is confined in railroad car with
cherub that wants to see If it is possible
to howl louder than the engine car
whistle.
GOODNESS gracious" exclaimed old
lady Tumbleton, as she heard nois,
down in the parlor, long after she had
retired; Il do wonder what Katie AMI
that young man are up to" ugh
grunted the old man, II know. They'n
up to II o'clock, and I guess I'd beta
go down and call time on 'em. IT'D
BIS.
a LITTLE green apple hung up in
tree, singing Johnnie, come johnnie
come Jobnnie!" And it was as modes
as modest could be, singing Johnnie
come Johnnie, come Johnnie!" And
Johnnie he came, in his sweet childisl
way, and ct up that fruit as his owl
lawful prey. The angels in heaven ar
singing to-day, Here's Johnnie! Here
Johnnie! Here's Johnnie!"
ENGLISH AS SHE is SPOKE.
There Was & young woman OF Worcester,
Who could never think what indorccster
To blush and look shy
When her lover was nigh,
As if his mere presence conforcester.
A noodle who never can laugh
When his friends give him innocent chaush
Should be sent out to grass,
Tau: all who may pass
Can see he's no more than cauGll.
There was IN old man with queue
Whose relatives made q to-dueue
Because of his hair,
But he babe them beware
For in future he meant to wear ruoue.
There was young man with cheque,
He made it by scooping the deque.
When asked if he cared
How the poor Irish Jared,
He promptly replied, Not speque."
The Judge.
A GENTLEMAN travelling through til
mountainous and thinly-settled did
tricts Of North Carolina was overtakel
by a severe storm. AS he was d
horseback, and therefore quite unprd
tected, he beheld with delight 10
cabin in the distance, and speedily b
took himself thither The old farme
greeted him with true Southern hosp
tally, and he soon found himself seate
at the dinner-table beside "the Of
'ooman," as his host designated b
wife, while one by one a seeming
endless file of daughters entered th
room. Turning to the farmer,
mildly observed: you have fin
family of daughters, sir" "Well
said the old man, mournfully, "we'7
been kinder unfortunate with our da
tiers. The chimbly fell in and killd
all but nine on 'em." The histori
dares not guess how many there va
at first.-Ha7pe1's Magozi71e.
liiNDU RELIGION.
II is rather sad, writes Edwin Arnol
to perceive how completely some =
ropean observers mistake and misinte
pref the Indian people on the questid
of their religion. They style the
"idolators "-imaginc that Hindus attf
butte divine qualities to the uncou
figures, the red stones, the lingam
carved snakes, and grim Bhowan
which they worship. Because tha
lind Mahadeo adored in one place, GU
patti in another, Kali elsewhere, on
trees, rivers, and COWS objects
prayer, they suppose the Hindus, o.