Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-26
SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1887.

season to advocate the resources and liza
bilities OF New Bolopy as health resort
and county seat. Our voice will ever be
| heard in clarion tones, putting its shOul-
der to the wheel of progress and tramp
ling on oppression with both feet. We
shall send the Retina to every quarter OF
| the globe. so that New Bolony, with its
wealth OF picturesque valley, hill and
dale, together with Its new courthouse
and health-giving atmosphere, will be
known of wherever the English language
| Is spoken.
"It is true that the editor OF this paper
has just emerged from college and Is still
young, but he has had some experience in
writing for college paper, and he knows
| what the needs and wants of the people
are. He is aware that the class of readers
who will peruse the RetIna will not be SO
refined or cultivated, perhaps, as his col
lege readers were, but he will try to make
himself understood, and we think we will
| be successful.
"We shall constantly improve the Re-
tina as growing business and patronage
may warrant, so that in few years our
readers will look back on this first copy
with ill-concealed mirth. We are already
figuring on dark blue job press and
rubber door-mat for the office, bearing the
legend Welcome in large Gothic, ex-
tended letters.
"We snail espouse the cause of no
| party or faction foritheepresent, preterring
TO remain neutral Tor the time beng, hop
| ping on TO the erroneous ever and anon,
| however. as circumstances may arise
which will seem to call on us tor a word
| of reproof, admonition or encouragement.
| We shall not make any boasts or fill the
| air with bombast at this time, but when
| hydra headed wrong emerges from it's
mi 10 an nho pril lyxnn IL
! seventeen distinct varieties of tar out of
| said hydra-headed wrong, and those who
carefully observe our course while con-
! Quoting the Retina will notice that there
are no flies on it. We have quite a num-
Der OF our best essays and orations pre-
pared while we were attending school
| and college. which will appear from time
to time in these columns. They are care
fully and eXhaustively written, and en-
| tirely cover the ground. Among these
we may name the following titles:
1.-The American lndian-His Glorious
Past and His Opaque Future 'The Care
and Discipline OF Children from an I'M
partisan Standpoint The Disagreeable
Results of Crime-Necessity for Exercise
Among the Laboring Classes Demos
themes as an or Hand Speaker How to
Reclaim Giddy Parents-Whe Is Your
Parent To-Nightr Criticisms on the
Present Imperfect Plan of Salvation.'
Duty of Wives-What Constitutes Good
Wife, George Washington and the Mis-
cry He Entailed Upon the Youth o.
America by Telling the Truth and After
ward Becoming the Father of His Coun
try =
"All these essays are we'll written, and
would be highly ornamental to any first
class magazine in the land, but we are
here to give satisfaction in our new field
and the best we have ever written is not
TOO good for the people Of New BolOny.
We aim to please. With regard 10 pro-
hibition we shall be outspoken at all
times. AS for Ourself we can use prohi-
bition or let it alone. For the present we
prefer TO touch not, taste not, handle not
the unclean thing. We favor a nigh Ii.
cense with low retail prices. This grad
ually busJs up the dealer and finally
wipes this curse from the face of the
earth with the bosom of statutory wrath.
Besoms OF statutory wrath carefully
printed at this office on short notice.
ain closing we will state that the Re-
tina starts out with a liberal patronage
and has come to stay. We use this last
term with the permission of the man who
made it. We expect our new navy-blue
jobber in few weeks, and little boys in
town VINO wish to see how a newspaper
is made and who would like to contribute
a thumb or two out of their little collec-
ton may come out and monkey with the
new press at any time. We will return
their thumbs to them at the end of the
week.
like the tone of this piece as general
thing, though am sorry to hear you al
Jude to your liberal patronage, and by the
same mail get request for more funds.
l will send you what money L can spare,
hoping that you will soon get on your feet
again.
suppose you will be running for Con-
gress the next thing, and then you will
forget all about your old father sad Dor
row money of people who haven't felt
near the interest in you that l have.
Send the paper for one year and charge
me with the subscription price. You
may also put piece i'll your paper stat
ing as follows:
FOR SALE.
Owing to ill-healJh, will sell at my
residence IN town 30, range Is. West, ac-
cOrding to government survey, one
crushed-raspberry colored COW, aged 6
years. She is a good milkster and is not
afraid of the cars-Or anything else. She
| is a cow of undaunted courage and gives
milk frequently. To man who does not
fear death In any form she would be
great boom. She is very much attached
to ner home at present, by means of
trace chain, but she will be sold to any,
one who will agree to treat her right. She
is One-fourth short horn and three-tourths
hyena. Purchaser need not be identi-
fed. / will also throw in double barrel
shotgun which goes with her. In May
she generally goes away somewhere for q
week or Two, and returns with a tall. red
calf, with long, wabbly legs. Her name
is Rose, and would prefer to sell her to
a nonresident.
You may keep this notice in your paper
till you sell the COW. We are all pretty
well, and hope your paper will be SELL
sustaining.
If had four or five boys all engaged
in running newspapers that had liberal
patronage l don't believe I'd have money
enough TO pay my poll tax. But must
now close by saying so-long, as the Teller
says. Your father, BILL NYE.
UNCOVERING THE SPHINX.