The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-01-22
The Poets Bitter Complaint.

81 While Colonel Bangs, editor OF the
Argus, was sitting in his Office one day,
a man whose brow was clothed with
thunder entered. Fiercely seizing a
chair, he slammed his hat on the table,
hurled his umbrella on the floor, and
sat down.
care. you the editor7' he asked.
'Yes.'
Can you read writingP
FOf course
;. J. Read that, then, he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it.
B. said the Colonel, trying to
spell it.
That's not B; it's an S, said the
man.
'S2 Oh, yes, / see. Well, the words
look little like Salt for dinner" said
the Colonel.
mo, sir, said the man, nothing of
the kind. That's my name-Samuel
H. Brunner. / knew you couldn' t read
| called to see about that poem of mine
you printed the other day, on the Sur
cease of Sorrow
Il don't remember it, said the Colo
mel.
'Of course you don't because it went
into the paper under the infamous title
of 'Smearcase Tomorrow.
"A stupid blunder of the compositor,
| suppose.
'Yes, sir, and that is what l want to
see you for. The way that poem was
mutilated was simply scandalous. l
haven't slept night since. 1t exposed
me to derision. People think l am
fool. Let me show you.
Go ahead, said the Colonel.
'The first line, when 1 wrote it, read
in this manner:
Lying by weeping willow, underneath gentle
slope
'That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present it
to the public2 There it is. Look at
that. Made it read this way:
Lying to weeping widow, to induce her to elOpe.'
THAT is too much-it's enough to
drive man crazyl'
I'm sorry said the Colonel; 'but-'
'And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it is said, plain
as daylight:
Take away the jingling money; it is only glitter
ing dross.'
"a man with only one eye, and cat
aract over that, could have read the
words correctly. But your pirate up
stairs, there-do you know what he dida
He made it read:
Take away the jeering monkeys, on a sorely glan-
dered hoss.'
'By Georgel felt like Draining him
with shovel! was never so cut up
in my life.'
1T was natural, too, said the Colonel.
There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. l wrote it:
Il am weary with the tossing of the ocean as it
heaves.'
1T is lovely line, too; but imagine
my horror, and the anguish of my fam
lily when | opened your paper and saw
the line transformed into:
Il am!wearing out my. .trowsers, till they open at
the knees
THAT is a little too much! That
seems like. carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. l think l have a constitu-
tional right to murder that compositor,
don't you7'
Il think you have
Let me read you one more verse. l
wrote:
T'swell the flying echoes as they roam along the
And feel my soul awakened to the ecstacy that =
thrills
'Now, what do you suppose your
miserable outcast turned that into2 Why,
into this:
Il smell the frying shoes as they roast along the
bulls,
And peel my soul mistaken in the ecstacy that
whirls.'
'Gibberish, sir, gibberishl l must
slay that man. Where is hep
He is out now,' said the Colonel.
Come in tomorrow
Il will, said the poet; 'and l will
come armed
Then he put on his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted off downstairs.