davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Sad but True

a printer stood at the desk OF a
business man the other day, and no.
tieed him using letter and bill heads
bought in Cincinnati. Said the
printer, who was Gu, toner.
What would YOU think of me il |
should go to Cincinnati and buv
your line of goods for myself and
iamily2' I'll would think you n fool.
when | know you can get the same
goods as cheap from me and aid
a fellow citizen" When the printer
called his attention to the imported
letter and bill heads, the merchant
eoughed and walked behind the
counter TO wait on n customer. And
the same merchant just a few DAYS
before asked the prnter to give him
a free puff about his big stock of
new goods.-Ep.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Health Hints.

IF a person is threatened with
fainting, bathe the head with warm,
not cold water.
Those who are given 70 the use
OF chloral should know that severe
diseases Of the eye is caused by its
continued use.
Cloths dipped in hot potato wat
er are recommended for immediate
and complete relief in the severest
cases Of rheumatism.
a piece Of charcoal laid upon
a burn will ease it almost immedia-
tely, and if kept there about an
hour, it is said the wound will be
entirely healed.
For those suffering from weak
lungs or a hacking cough, few
drops Of tar taken on a lump Of
sugar will give relief Five or six
drops should be sufficient for a
grown person.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
On Time.

a clerk in an Austin store in.
formed his employer that his sister
was going TO get married, and he
wanted furlough of forty. eight
hours to attend the wedding, which
was to take place out in the country
somewhere. The merchant could
not well spare the service of the
young man for that length Of time.
but he finally consented TO let him
go on condition that he would re-
turn promptly at the expiration of
the two days.
Gas soon as my rty-eight hours
are up III be back" said the young
man hurrying off to catch the train,
and that was the last his employer
saw him for six solid days. Then
he walked in, grip-sack in hand,
and beaming smile on his face.
remarking:
Back on time"
Back on timer' roared the ex.
asperated employer. "Do you call
six days forty eight hoursi"
"Of course / do. What else do
you call itS
Have you lost the use of your
mental faculties, or are you trying,
sir, to take warranted liberties
with me?"
"Why, l am surprised. told
you wanted forty eight hours re-
creation, didn't ~
Certainly. And / gaveitto you"
'.Just so. And l work IN the
store eight hours a day, don't I?'
"Of course"
"Well eight into forty. eight goes
six times, and | have been gone
eight hours a day for six days, 50
you see I'm on time. If there is
one thing know better than anoth-
er, it is how to be on hand at the
appointed hour. - Teras Siftinqs.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
The FIRST Prayer in Congress.

In Tacher's Military Journal under
date OF December l7T7, is found a note
containing the identical FIRST prayer
In Congress" made by Jacob Duche:
20 Lord, our Heavenly Father, high
and mighty, King OF Kings and Lord
OF Lords, who dost from thy Throne
behold all the dwellers OF the earth,
ana reignest with power supreme and
uncontrolled over ali Kingdoms. En-
pires and.GOyernments; look down in
mercy, We beBeech Thee, on these
American States, who have iled 70 T. hee
from the rod OF the opprebBOr, and
thrown themselves on Thy gracious
protection, desiring to be her ceforth
dependent only on Thee. To Thee
they have appealed for the righteous
ness OF their cause; TO Thee do they
now look up for that cOuntenance and
support, which Thou alone canst give.
Take them therefore, Heavenly Father
under Thy nuTturiDg care.
Give them wisdom in council and
yalor in the field. Defeat the malicious
designs of our adversary; convince
them OF the righteousness OF their
cause; and, IL they still persist in san
culinary purposes, Oh let the voice OF
Thine unerring justice, sounding In
their hearts, cOnstrain them 70 drop
the weapons of war from their un-
nerved hands IN the day OF battle. b.
Thou present, y God OF wisdom, ana
direct the councils OF this honorable az
sembly. Enable them TO settle things
on the best and surest foundation, that
the scenes OF blood may be speedily
closed, and order, harmony aud peace
may be effectually restored, and truth
and justice, religion and plety prevail
and flourish amongst Thy people. Pre-
serve the health Of their bodies and
the vigor Of their minds; shower down
upon them and the millions they rep
resent, such temporal bleB ing as Thou
seest expedisnt tor them In this world,
and crown with everlasting glory in
the world 20 come. AL this We ask in
the name and through the merits Of
Jesus Christ, Thy Son, our Saviour,
Amen.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Bad as o.Tclephone Girls Tricks.

She stood beside the telephone
and turned the little crank, exasper-
alton in her tone and rage in every
''yank."
"Hi, there, when will you resur-
rect, you unresponsiye knave? Will
some old fossil please connect this
business with the grave?
"Now, then old corpse, lust hold
your breath, while time the chance
affords. I've nearly tired myself to
death, and snapped my vocal
chords"
please give me DR.. Liyerpad-
Oh, doctor, is that your Ny little
boy is feeling bad; please tell me
what TO do"
Gle ate cucumbers, apples, too, a
most uncommon lot, and now he's
turned a bilious hue, and doubled in
a knot"
"Besides--" Just then the central
fiend switched to another wire, and
then the tale that intervened filed
all her mind with ire.
1t must have been some barrel
man with leaking casks to mend
here's what she heard as he began
upon the other end.
"Hammer the head until its tight;
tighten the middle band; water will
swell it up all right if it is left to
stand.
Apply a coat Of pitch without,
and when IL starts 20 swell, you
needn't have the slightest doubt
but twill do very well"
You should have seen the doctor
when the wires once more ran
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
a Boys Composition on Girls.

Girls are very stuck up and dig
nified in their manner and behavior.
They think more OF dress than any.
thing and like TO play with fowls
and rags. They cry if they see a
cow in far distance and are afraid
of guns. They stay at home all the
time and go to church on Sunday.
They are always sick. They are
always funny and making fun of
boys hands and they say how dirty.
They can't play marbles. / pity
them poor things. They make fun
of boys and then turn round and
love them. / don't believe they
ever killed cat or anything. They
look out every night and say oh
aunt amt the moon lovely. There
is one thing | have not told and
that is they always know their les.
sons better than boys.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
a Remedy for the Cabbage
worm,

An experiment tried by G. C..
Young, Of Henry county. o., results
in the discovery that unleachcd
wood ashes prevent the ravsges Of
the cabbage worm and the deposit
of eggs by the millers. lie says.
Il took dry, unleached wood ashes,
full strength, and splashed right on
top Of each plant, from half to a
full shovelful, determined to kill
the worm If il killed the cabbage
(which was sure Of total destruc-
ton in any way, ino better remedy
could be found than had been ap-
plied), and, to my satisfaction and
almost astonishment, the first appli-
cation proved a radical cure, killing
almost instantly every worm touch
ed by the ashes. took pains TO jar
the plant by hitting it lightly with
my foot, to shake the ashes thor
oughly between the leaves, to be
sure to make soap Of every worm.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
How to Tell the Age Of Any Per
son.

The Hartford Times says Of an odd
but old combination Of figures. There
is a good deal Of amusement in the fOi-
lowing magical table OF figures. 10
will enable you 20 tell how old the
young ladies are. Just hand this table
70 q young lady, and request her o. tell
you in which column or columns her
age Is contained. and add together the
hgures at the top Of the columns in
which her age is found. and you have
the great secret. Thus, suppose her
age " be seventeen, you will Ind that
number in the FIRST and Gith columns;
ADJ the hr7t figures of these two
columns. Here l8 The magic table.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26

"Ata recent meeting Of the Old
Seminary boys at Indianapolis. the
following, on a time stained sheet
Of paper was produced and read as
a composition Of half a century ago,
the author being at that time Of the
tender age Of ten years: "a Eagle
and Lion.-A eagle and lion is the
King Of birds and beasts They IS
two kincs Of eagle. the ball eagle
and the COLE. There was wunce a
gole eagle here on stemcbotc and
/ saw it, Nat Cox killed a ball
eagle at the ford tother day. They
bill thare mes on the pint Of the al.
igane mauntanes, fur John Elder
tole me so, out Of shinny clubs. ]
wisht they was q nes on NOle's Hill
50 we Good git clubs esy. Wunce
a ball eagle took boy to its mes in
pants, and IT'S papa and mamma ran
up thare and foun him nockin the
young eagles about wish a shiny
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
SEREDO WAYNE CO. W. MAY Dc 1851

right, and madam got her wits
again and riddlcd him with spite.
4 on nasty, nasty. horrid beast!
FAINT ohnny up with pitch, You're
either mad or tight, at least; can
not tell you which,"
lie stood aghast and wondering
SAID: Did you ever, now? y
woman is the bla modest thing any
how. w."-Louiscilie Courier Journ
al.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Snippit's Failing,

Little Snippit is always airing
ms wonderful requirements, isn't he,
Staggersf"
\ es; Scroggs; he reminds me
OF man with a chronic cold"
"Whyi"
because he is always blowing
his knows"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
At the Rosebud Ball.

"Miss Northcote. Briggs is a
charming girl" observed Chol-
mondely Jones Enthusiastically; /;
such lovely hair and eyes, and
such a splendid figurew
yes" replied Plantagent Simp
son, I've heard it is $500, 900 in her
own right"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Jimmy Chooses n Profession

Jimmy, what do you intend to
do when you grow to be n mani'
asked FangIe of his only son and
hei-.
"l'm going to write those funny
items for the papers, replied John
ny.
Indeed! Then I suppose III
soon have to send you to teacher
of Typography"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26

club and whorain Tor JOY. And
this IS all about eagle. Now |
viii tell you about lion. Bufin
says a lion can kill a lcf'ant with his
pa, and kin etc anything ccpt iniun
rubber wax. a lion will etc anv.
body less his name is danneL |
wisht they had cald me dannel, then
Ike Keys dog lion cuddent bite me.
and that is all about n lion ~
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26

The plants were not only uniniurcd
10y the ashes, but started with new
lie and energy. The swarm of
miliers which had constantly how
cred over the patch seemed to leave
IN disgust, and no. further trouble
was experienced for several weeks.
but a rapid and unmolested growth
OF the plant ensued. ."-RurGL Rec.
ord.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
No improvements.

Thompson, what do you think
OF the new department in socictyi"
Nude departure! Simply horri-
BILE, Buggs! No Improvement at
all over the old"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26

down, or II SCOT takes fire more
readily than usual or falls down the
chimney into the CRATE, expect rain.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
Select Poetry.
The Rain Drops.

Inc ltatn Drops.
By LINDA LEE.
Hear the rain drops falling. falling.
Softly falling all day long:
Weakening In our hearts sad mem'rics
Like long forgotten song.
Leaving us depressed and lonely.
Thinking DER the days long flown.
Failing like voice from heaven.
While we ponder all alone
Oh the many glistening rain drops,
That are falling all these years!
ti'ling many hearts with gladness,
Filling many eyes with tears.
So our friends are falling, falling.
Failing by the way-sicie, fast.
Many dear ones who once loved us,
Had 10 say farewell, ,"at last.
And the tears we shed above them,
When we saw them laid away,
Fell 80 softly. fell so sadly,
Like the rain drops fall to-day.
There was one who loved me dearly:
One whose heart was kind and true.
But alas, The angels called her,
And heard her last "adieu."
And they laid her meath the grasses,
While the rain drops softly fell,
And the tears that mingled with them,
Toldo hearts that loved her well.
And I'm always sad and lonely;
When hear the rain drops fall.
For know we all are passing,
We must list our Fathers call.
But my heart Is sad within me
As think that when go,
must leave dear ones behind mo
Who will grieve and mourn me so.
For we know that when He calls us,
When our spirits fee away,
Der our graves there1l fall some tear
drops,
As the rain drops fall to-day.
Oft my life seems dark and dreary
When my past griefs recall,
And my heart Is always saddest,
When hear the iain drops fall.
But I'll struggle bravely onward,
Till I'm called TO meet my own,
In that land whore tears and sorrows,
Cloudsand rain drops neer are known.
Hear the rain drops falling falling,
Softly falling all day long,
Weakening in our hearts sad mem 'ries,
Like long forgotten song.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
II. Il. MCDOuxol.
CEREDO. w. VA
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

One copy. uhc year 81 0o. ~ paid at the time
the name ~ entered In subscription hookS
Ancr ~ days, tl.25 per year win be- charg cd
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1887-05-26
The Ceredo Advance.

An independent weekly paper published
every Thursday by
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
EASTERN AND FOREIGN NEWS.

Queen Kapiolani has arrived in London
The purses offered in the grand trottine
circuit at the East aggregate $rso,soo.
The Mexican Government has pensioned .
neither who "ewns up to twenty eight living
children"
Lyman J. Gage, a wealthy Chicagoan.
married his brothers. widow at Denver,
Wednesday.
After fatally shooting four persons, S. S
Nelson committed suicide near Huron, D.
T., on Monday.
Negotiations between France and England
concerning the new Hebrides question are
still in progress.
Clipper-ship owners in New York are
protesting against the suspension of the long
and short haul clause.
Great damage has been done in portions
Of Somerset and Cambria counties, Penn,
by floods from heavy rains.
1t is stated that the owner Of the Thistle
intends to make certain alterations before
competing for the America cup.
The farmers of Cumberland Valley, in
Pennsylvania, have been swindled out Of
more than $500, 1000 by bohemian oat''
sharpers.
The side-doors of the saloons are again
open and the hotel bars are running full blast
on Sunday in New York city. The reform
did not last long.
1t is reported that parties in Key West
have discovered process by which oysters
and other she'll fish can be evaporated just
as easily as apples, peaches, etc., and retain
their flavor.
Work on the Cheyenne branch of the Chi.
cago. Burlington and Quincy Railroad is
suddenly stopped on account Of the exorbi-
tant demands made by parties owning land
over which the proposed road is to run.
At Henderson, KY, Wednesday, Prof. E.
S. Clarke, Superintendent Of Public Schools,
was shot and killed by Prof. Thomas Posey,
Principal of the High School, in the High
School-roem, in the presence Of the pupils.
Both men were prominent in society.
Detective Stevens, an employee Of the Lon
don Reformatory and Refuge Union. who
has taken the principal part in bringing to
light immoral crimes. states that during the
past four years he has rescued 400 girls be.
tween four and half and fourteen years
from lives of crime.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
Indian Pony Races.
Races.
THE PRESIDENTS

President Pownng Special Premium GOLD MEDAL, valued
att 500, for the Best Exhibit in any Department
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
WORKING GLASSES A =. re rs1 n.

pared TO furnish all classes with employmant at
hsme, the whole Of the time, or for their spare
moments. Business new. light and profitable
ing ali their tim to the business. Boys and girls
earn nearly ~ much Is men. That all who see
this may send their address, and test the business
we make this offer; To such as are not well salts
ned We will send one dollar to pay for the trouble
Of writing. Full particulars and OUTFIT free. Ad-
dress, aRoaas 6TNsoA d Co.,, Portland Maine.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
NERVOUS DEDILITArEp MEN

Yeu arc allowed free trial shy days the Of Do
Dyes Celebrated veltae nsls With Electric ssass.,ery A
raness the speedy relief q Nsrvo
DsbIlisy Of vitality and Manhood, and all kndrsa
many other diseases Compss reseorAseA
e health vigor guaranteed He risk 10 TN
nassFassa pssphst, WITH fall
.aleA rss ~ aa1Esasns velssss bss Css AaxshAh hA
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11

Several more cases Of smallpox were dis.
covered Wednesday at Chicago in the house
where an Italian was found to have the dis
ease last week.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
P0iSONlA THEASHES
What the Mt. Lebanon Shakers
F0und-Incident In the His
tory Of a Quiet Community :,

4ne NOUN LeDanOn new
York; Shakers are quiet COM
munity, secluded from the fret
and worry of the outside world.
They are widely known, how
ever, for their strict honor and
probity in business.
The Shakers believe that ma
ture has a remedy for every dis
ease. A few have been found
the rest are as yet unknown.
Many were discovered by acci-
dent. Others came to light as
the result of patient experiment
and research.
: Nervous Dyspepsia is a com.
paratively aes0 disease, growing
out Of the conditions of modern
life. 1t is a joint affection of
the digestive organs and Of the
nervous system. These two
were formerly treated as sepa-
rate ailments, and it was left
for the clear-sighted Shakers
to prove that the basis of this
terrible and often fatal compi-
cation lies chiefly in the disord-
cred and depraved functions of
digestion and nutrition. They
reasoned thus:-"H we can In
duce the stomach to do its
work, and stimulate the excre-
tive organs to drive out of the
body the poisonous waste mat
tiers which remain after the life
giving elements of the food
have been absorbed, we shall
have conquered Nervous Dys-
pepsia and Nervous Exhaust
ion. And they were right.
Knowing the infallible power
of Shaker Extract (Seigel's
Syrup in less complicated
though SINH lar diseases,
they resolved to test it fully
in this. To leave no ground
for doubt they prescribed the
remedy in hundreds of cases
which had been pronounced in
curable-with perfect success
in every instance where their
directions as 20 living and diet
were scrupulously followed.
Nervous Dyspepsia and Ex-
haustion is a peculiarly Ameri-
can disease. To a greater or
less extent half the people of
this country suffer from it
both sexes and all ages. In no
country in the world are there
so many insane asylums filed
to overlooking, all resulting
from this alarming disease. Its
leading symptoms are these:
Frequent or continual head
ache; a dull pain at the base
of the brain; bad breath; nau-
seous quotations; the rising
of sour and pungent fluids to
the throat; a sense of oppress-
ion and faintness at the pit of
the stomach; flatulence; wake
fulness and loss of sleep; dis
gust with food even when
weak from the need of Fit; sticky
or Shiny matter on the teeth or
in the mouth, especially on ris-
ing in the morning; furred and
coated tongue; dull eyes; cold
hands and feet; constipation;
dry or rough skin; inability to
fix the mind on any labor call
ing for continuous attention;
and oppressive and sad fore
bodings and fears.
All this terrible group
Shaker Extract (Seigel's
Syrup removes by its pos
tive, powerful, direct yet
painless and gentle action upon
the functions of digestion and
assimilation. Those elements
of the food that build up and
strengthen the system are sent
upon their mission, while all
waste matters (the ashes of life's
frey which unremoved, poison
and kill, are expelled from the
II
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
WEAK, NERVOUS PEOPLE
TN TME DISTRICT COURT of tn
L a&a4a a Naxada in and for LYON County.

TN TIME DISTRICT COURT OF the
1 State Of Nevada, in and for Lyon County.
In the Matter Of the Estate of James Downey.
deceased.
Catherine NJ Downsy. the executrix. and Fran
els w Downey the executor of the estate Of
James Downey, deceased. having Med their pef1-
zion herein. duly verified, praying for an order
OF sale of certain parts OF the real estate Of said
deceased for the purposes therein set forth. 1t is
therefore ordered by the Judge OF said Count that
All persons interested In the estate of said de.
ceased, appear before the said District Court on
Saturday the 18th day of June 1887 at ten O'Clock
in the forenoon of said day. ct the Courtroom OF
said District Court at the town of Dayton, in the
county of Lyon, to show cause why an order
should not be granted to the said executrix and
executor to sell much Of the real estate o: the
said deceased, at private sale, shall be neces-
sary for the purposes therein mentioned.
WI HARRIS, Clerk.
Dated May 4th, 1887
NJ. A. MURPHY, Attorney.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11

ACCORD
Agricultural Society Of the State
March 7h 1885.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11
the OVERLAND MONTHLY 1887

single subscriptions $500 per year, post paid
single number IS cents. Sample copy Is cents
Cub terms, ave copies to one address, $500
Local agents wanted. and liberal terms offered
Address,
THE OVERLAND MONTHLY COMPANY.
ais Montgomery ST. San Francisco
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11

Speed be conducted under auspices OF the Directors OF
State Agricultural Society.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-06-11

N. B-Ordsrs by mail from any part Of the
county promptly attended to.