The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1887-11-27
Tho Trials Of Stepmothers.

We are not surprised to receive this letter
in response to our discussion Of the case o.
the New Jersey widower who married g
widow with four children:
SIR: In your number Of the 9th inst. you publish Q let
ter from a man who married u widow and who now
wants a divorce from her for deceiving him Let m,
tell him that she is punished enough for that by marry
ing a widower with four children. State prison seems L
me to be nothing compared to being stepmother to foul
children. God pity her, for she will receive no pity from
the public for all the abuse and disobedience and slandel
she has tG endure from her stopchildren.
l have never heard of either party before, but l
speak from experience, for !, too married . widower
with four children; - only I was no widow, but q young
inexperienced girl of twenty. He asks must no supper,
her children; but he thinks 1t right and proper for her
to work for his children. In all probability his chill.
dren are now grown and could get along without her.
So the proper thing to do Is to kick the stepmother out
That ID about the thanks and gratitude step
mothers In general get for all their hours Of toll
and caro- spent in trying to make rsspsc table
and honest men and women OF their stepchldren.
Perhaps II her side Of the story was heard, she 10 proba-
bly, more anxious to be free than he. 1t seemsto me
that as they are SO very evenly mated, each having four
children, they ought to get along very well, he support.
ing her children and she working for his OF couse she
should have told him she had four children insoad Of
two, especially as he had the same number.
Public sympathy Is, and always has been, aaains step.
mothers, yet no woman, unless she BIO u dnnkrd or
sliftless character, but does all In her powr for
her stepchildren, not out of love for them-foi step.
children do all they can to crush any Low, shi may
have for thom-but for what the public says oil her.
Almost ali stepmothers do more for their supohddren
than for their own. because everybody wachet what
they do to them, while no one sees or care what she
does to her own. Just here I must add thH tits the
sympathy of the public that sometimes nsks very
devils of stepchildren toward their step par4ts, yet no
one ever thinks of blaming the children; is always
the step parents who bear all blame. l do lot believe
that ono stepmother out Of a thousand yult again
marry n widowor with children were she 1t roe and
snencumoered AS she WAS when she marrId. This Is
the opinion OF two stepmotherh.
Mrs. y. RArnER lAsrrLp.
FAIR LAWN. MI Mrs. GEO. HuB5IH1T.
The two signers requested US ! publish
this very striking letter in full. andYe do so
with great pleasure, for they presnt a side
of the case that IL commonly and host IN
Justly overlooked. We wish the sItit of the
communication were sweeter, budthat de-
feet does not weaken tho stren9 OF its
argument. Probably these two st$mothers
have had a hard time of 1t, and thei petience
has not been equal to the strain.
1t Is true that, however deservin,sae may
be of their affectionate obediend 4 step
mother oftentimes suffers becaub OF the
increasing prejudice Of her steelildren.
Knowing that they are not hers. md very
likely understanding that she is ubi,r criti-
cism at the hands of their naturalFdatives,
they may take advantage OF her bI display
ing an unruly spirit and filing to
render her the respect to whi4 she Is
entitled. In such a case it be9nes ex-
oeedingly difficult for tho stmother
to maintain proper family disciple and II
she be not a woman of great aciad self
control, and especiallyi IL she DO b wisely
supported in her efforts by he3rsband.