Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1887-01-26
A WoULD-cl HosTELRYs
Bill Nye Stops at a Place Where
Two Roads Fork.
His Mournfui Pilgrimage Through Deso-
late wilds In Company with tho Soul
full Hoosier Poet--A Tale of Gloom
Without n Ray OF Hope.
Ipm Nye, in Boston Globe.l ]

Bill Nyc, IN Boston GiOOo.l
We are moving about over the country,
James Whitcomb Riley en- I. in the capa-
city of a neral end spectacular show,
attend TO the spectacular part of the busi--
ness. That is riors In my line.
am writing this at an imitation hotel
where the roads fork. ] will call it the
Fifth Avenue Hotel because the hotel at q
railroad junction is ciIerally called the
Fifth Avenue, or the Gem City House; or
the Palace Hotel. / stopped ut an inn
some years since called the Palace, and I
can truly say that if it had ever been a
palace it was very much run down when
visited It.
just as the fond parent of whi;e-eyed.
two.leggcd freak of nature loves to name
his mentally diluted son Napoleon, and
for the same reason that prominent
horse owner in Illinois last year socked
my name en- a tall, luckskin- colored colt
that did not resemble me, intellectually or
ply sically, a colt that did not know
enough TO go arc und barhe wire fence,
lut sought TO sift himself through it sato
an un'imely grave, so this man has named
his sway-ictked wiGwem tie Firth
Avenue Hotel.
1t is diff ercnt from the Fifth Avenue in
many ways. In the first place there IL
not so much travel and business in its
neighborhood. AS said before, this is
where two railroads fork. In fact, that is
the leading in nlustry here. The growth of
the town Is naturally slow, lus it is a
healthy growth. There Is nothing in the
nature of dangerous or Wild cat specula-
ton in the Advancement of this place;
and while there has been no noticeable or
rapid advance il the rriacipal business,
there has been no falling Off at all, md
these roads are forking as much to-day as
they did before the war, while the same
three men who were present for the first
glad momen. are still here to witness its
operation.
Sometimes train Is de~ailed as the pa
pers call it, and two or three people have
to remain over as we did, all night. It is
at such a time that the Fifth Avenue Ho-'
tel is the scene of great excitement. A.
large Goldfish, with broad and sunny
smile, and his bosom fun Of rock salt, Is
tied in the creek to freshen and fit himself
for the responsible position of a oor man
ager of the Goldfish ball.
A pale chambormaii, l, wearing a black
Jersey with large pores in it through
joycusly up the stairs to make the little
post-ofice lock box rooms look ten times
worse than they ever did before. She
MARBLES a low refrain as she nimbly knocks
loose the venerable dust of centuries and
sets it niloat throughout the rooms. All is
hustle about the house.
Especially the chant i'll.
We were ut in th> guests chamber
hara I, fxx,a 4 l. u
of pains and cCluterpanes.
This last remark conveys to the reader
the presence of light, Joyous feeling
which is wholly assumed on my part.
The door of our room is full of holes
where locks have been wrenched Off in or
der to let the coroner in. Last night
could imag gine that 1 was In the act of
meeting, personally, the famous people
who have tried to sleep here and who
moaned through the night and who died
while waiting for the dawn.
/ have no doubt In the world but there
is quite goo l-sizel delegation from this
hotel of guests who hesitated about COM
mitting suicide, because they feared to
tread the sidewalks of perdition, but who
tecame desperate at last and resolved to
take their chances, and they have never
had any cause to regret II.
We washed our hands on door-knob
soap, VIII ed them on a slippery elm court
plaster, that had made quite a reputation
for itself under the nom-de- plume of
'Towel," tried to warm ourselves at q
pocket inkstanl stove, that gave out heat
like a dark lantern and had deformed
elbow at the back of it.
The chambermail is very versatile, and
waits on the table while not engaged in
agitating the overworke1 mattresses and
puny pillows upstairs. In this way she
imparis the odor OF fried pork to the pill
low cases and kerosene to the pie.
She has n wild, nervous and apprehen-
sive look in her eye as though she feared
that some Herculean guest might seize her
in his great, strong arms and bear her
away to q Justice of the peace and marry
hor. She certainly can not fully realiza
how thoroughly secure she is from such a,
calamity. She is just as safe as she was
forty years ago, when she promised her
aged mother that she would never elope'
with any one.
Still, she is sociable at times anil con-
verses freely with me at the table, as she
leans over my shoulder, pensively brush
al utility towel, which accompanies her in
her various rambles through the house,
and she asks which we would rather have
-"tea or eggs"
This afternoon we will paw cur bill, In
accordance with n lifelong custom OF
ours, and GO away to permeate the busy
haunts of men. 1t will be sad to tear our
selves away from the Fifth Avenue Hotel
at this place; still, there is no great loss
without some small gain, and at our
next hotel we may not have to chop our
own wood and bring u up stairs when we
want to rest. The landlord OF a hotel who
goes away TO n political meeting and
leaves bis gueets to chop their own wood,
sni then charges them full price for the
rent of boisterous and tempest tossed
he I, will never endear himself 20 those
with whom he is thrown In contact.
We leave at 2:3O this afternoon, heping
that the two railroads may continue to-
fork here just tho same as though we had