The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1887-01-26
pith and Point.

NRY havoc, ana letS lick Jle dogs OF
war" is the way a Macon boy spoke it,
Macon Teicgrdph.
A WATERLOO IN. " paper says cyclone
is like three school girls walking abreast: IL
doesn't turn out for any thing.
AT Fort Keogh, Montana, variation Of
ninety degrees i'm the temperature is said to
have occurred within twenty-four hours.
IT is never too late to mend but man
cannot expect to have button sewed on
much after midnight.-NeW Orleans Pic
dyltne.
ACCORDING to the London post-oiiice di-
rectory Of last year there are in that city
2l25 Smiths 1l0i Joneses, 708 Browns and
407 Robinsons.
IT is stated that the Romans set great
store by their cats. Many of our business
men nowadays have great cats in their
stores.-Nessenger.
SOME one has sent us a poem entitled
"Give Me Back My own" AS we always
| like to accommodate, we have sent it back
to him. Ne,c Haren NeWs.
| A New York undertaken charged S275 for
a casket that cost him $40, and testified in
court that he did not think that S165 was
too much profit to make on it.
A SMALL boy who was studying English
history was asked "What the Prince of
Wales would be when the Queen died"
Please, sir, an orphan" replied the scholar
! decisively
AN uptown merchant said to farmer;
| "a dollar will go further than it used to-"
Yes" the farmer quickly replied, and it
makes the distance in quicker time. "-Hud-
son Republican.
a CHICAGO shoe concern advertises: Our
dancing slippers for young ladies are simply
immense" This is pretty strong corrobo-
ration of a popular impression which is too
widespread to require mention.
A CORNELL student wrote burlesque in
ten-cent novel; calling it " Hildebrand the
| Horrible, or the Haunted Pig Sly, and sent
1t to a sensational publisher as a rebuke.
He was thanked and paid for his contribu-
ton and requested to furnish a second story.
a TRAVELLER in one of the hotels of Ban
gor, Me-, put his false teeth in a glass of
water when he went to bed the other night.
| In the morning the water was frozen solid,
and as the water-pipes in the house were
also frozen he had to take the glass in bed
with him, and thus thaw the ice before he
could go to breakfast
81 TELL you, Mrs. Brown. you can't fool
me about what it costs to run this house."
said an irate travelling man. 81 won't be
trtled with. I'm no chicken" "You
probably mean that you're no gosling, was
the remark. which, accompanied by look
of unutterable scorn, caused Brown to re-
turn to his newspaper and keep quiet
Merchant Traveller.
EMPEROR WILLIAM of Germany recently
made joke, for the first time in his life.
On the eightieth anniversary of his entry
into the army one of his doctors tried to pre-
vent him from going to the open window to
return the salutations of the assemblage
outside. His majesty replied; !" must CO.
1t is noon, and Baedeker's guide says that l
am always visible at the window at this
hour"
An old bachelor noted for his absent-nind-
edness was lately welded at Athens, Ga. In
the marriage ceremony, when it became his
duty to place the ring on the fair maids
finger, he drew silver quarter from his
pocket and handed it to the bride, to the
CONSERVATION and confusion of all parties.
After he had embarked on train for the
wedding tour and the conductor came
around for tickets, he discovered that he
had bought only one ticket forgetting that
he had doubled his expenses and response
biities that day.
Mrs. CLEVELAND has hardly returned
thanks to the giver for the present of the
marmoset, or striated monkey which has
been given her, before all sorts of stories
about the little animals pranks begin to cir
cuate about the White House and depart
ment circles The latest one touches the
initiative faculty of the new pet, in which
he is far ahead of Hector. the French poodle.
1t is said that the marmoset seems to have
great fascination for watching the President
as well as Mrs. Cleveland, and studying his
actions, and that when the latter leaves the
room now, Mr.. Marmoset, in his monkey
fashion, blows her kiss from his hairy paw.
=; WoBURN had Westinghouse in which,
j., over the pulpit, was suspended sounding
, board designed to give greater effect to the
parsons words, under which minister
): with stentorian voice preaching on
u trial After some months a meeting was
d. | called to determine whether or not they
= should settle him, at which a motion was
! made that " they hear him further" when
= up jumped an old farmer, who addressed
\ the meeting as follows: Mr.. Moderator,
: the motion is to hear him further. odd
: POUNDS, what do we wish to hear him
Il further for? We can hear him half mile
> already" After laugh, the meeting de-
!, cided to give him a call Some years after
" when part of the congregation was dis.
contented with his preaching on account of
the harshness of his voice, which his adj
mirers said was caused by the sounding
board, motion was made that the board
be removed, when up jumped the old
y farmer again and moved as an amendment
TT :" that the sound be removed from under
it the board" The amendment prevailed
g. the board stayed in place, while the SOUND
e vanished to give place to voice in har
ID mony with the resonator. - WOburn Mass.
1t Gazette.
Is GILBERT & SULLIvAN's new opera called
al Ruddygore, or the Witchs Curse" tells
e. tale of baronet condemned by curse t.
4: commit crime every day, and hiding ava.
~ ~ in peaceful village, and leaving his brother
y to suffer the effects of the curse. The frs
~ act shows the village green with ship at an
III Choir in the distance. The chorus consists o
&c an endowed company of twenty-four brides
~ maids wearing extremely pretty director,
VI dresses. Mr.. Grossmith is, first, the bashfu
:, man of the village; then his whereabouts
VI are betrayed by the foster brother of thu
s. wicked baronet, and in future he has T.
" commit daily crime. The fun comes in il
Ia an attempt to effect this by subterfuges, lik
=. ~ making false income tax returns and forgin!
~ his own will In the second act twenty-fou
10 10 of his wicked ancestors come out of thei
III frames to punish him for neglecting famil
10 tradition. The companions of the twenty
u four bridesmaids are twenty-four officers
X gorgeously dressed in uniform in servic
III about the time Of the battle of Waterloo
~ The scene of this act is laid in the mansion
NJ of the wicked baronet, with the wall
We covered by pictures of his ancestors Tn
a ~ costumes of the ancestors are taken from
~ ~ the reigns of successive English sovereigns