Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-10-21
PlTn AND POINT.

dertaker. ''n-the ~,
gilist's fist. e'o'es-tAe pu,
EVERY thief would like 70
self unspotted. W Keep him.
A GRANDSON of Martin yo.
said to be a first-rate bose ~ barea ii
doubtful about his being sneh out it i
dodger as his grandfather was an q, anrttd
SJtiaags. "as'-Tesq,
The Romans used to trv
away On eclipse of the sun WAL " llf1lsshtsa
Instruments. This was don ml'l bragg
ing lightning-rod peddlers,Nyoy Oea:
Independent. s''mQa
An agricultural paper has o.
on kicking COWS. A man Who ~ T. alsels
enough to go around kicking COWS ~ nesa
out just provocation, isn't too o0 na. with
biting horses-Teras SiJtings s00a To-
A PROFESSOR of penmon.,.
nounces that if young men 'u UP, as,
learn how to flourish thew had WIS" l a|
come to him. Anybody Who aG j. pests|
his handwriting will see that hm;speee|
ness is fourishing. nS Dusi
They tell queer story abont , u..,
known police court Justice VT, we'll
daughter asked him the other do,. sl9se
he meant to give her for her h hat saa
He was just doing, but he ' n.a.
out: "Ten shillings or seven d 5ruas y
"WHAT makes Mr.. Pettleton -
popular, l wonder? He's ooo l ~ ~
ing young man and quite ilSelliraot
Yes. But he writes poetry" SWan
that isn't crime against society +; a ~!
"No. But he insists on readi;nra - a'
you, too" " Y
SOME men are ever ready to Of,
remedy for everything. The otle,i,
we remarked to one Of these apims.9
apothecary shops: can idea struet y
yesterday"-and before we could sn; y
he advised us: Grub the affected nas
with arnica!" ~
"WHAr is that terrible racket about,
asked Whitehaller as he passed |
house on Queen street, and heard !
child yelling at the top of its yo;y]
ooh, that's nothing" exclaimed h
companion, ut is simply woman bas,I
ing her heir. Whitehall Times,
CUSTOMER (severely)-Do you selld|
eased meat here? Butcher (blandly-
Worse than that. Customer (excted,|
Mercy on us! How can that be pos;l
BILE? Butcher (confdentially) I'D
meat [ sell is dead-absolutely de,1
sir. Customer (sheepishly)-Oh!
ST. Louis husband (after seea,
"Hamlet"-The man who wrote h
play is genius. Wife-You med
Shakespeare? Husband-Yes; and
he ever writes another and its plsy|
in this city, there won't be stani1
room after the first act.-HarpT]
Ba=0r.
ST. PErER-Come in, good and faty
full servant. Newly arrived spirit
Saryant, is it, We say? It's ladys bell
l waz, sir. ooh, we'll, never mind
Come in" "That's heaven, is ia
"This is heaven" "How many NIGH
an afternoons out will 1 iave5n-
omaha World.
II WILL add" concluded the voupd
man, applying for situation, "thst
am a college graduate. "Oh, ,hs
won't make any difference" was tile ,e|
assuring reply, "if you wait to stlcka
your work; and, besides, We wa
somebody about the place who is sry
enough to carry coal"
II SEE. said man to the editorial 4
Dakota daily, chat you said nota1, |
about that suicide Yesterday" "Ca
tainly not" replied the editor, "if Ils
man who killed himself didn't have en-
terprise enough to come around bel
forehand and leave the particulars vh!
he can't expect it to be mentioned. Va
keep notice standing asking peopletI
come in and leave the news, and ii ths5
don't do it it isn't our fault. "-DakOI
Bell.
The clerk of a hotel in Plymouth
Mass, feels as though he had turned !
somerset, and his head buzzes as il 4
contained hive of bees. 1t appears
that party of travellers recently
stopped there and registered as follows
"Mrs. A. P. w. and grandson, grand
sons aunt, aunt's sister, sisters brothesj
in-law, brother-in-law's daughsiI
daughters aunt, aunt's sister, sister
brother, and brothers. wife, Arlington
Hotel Mail