The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-07-06

sling and apiece of bicycle in my back.
am not as proud as / was yesterday;
neither am i as pretty. There Is sort OF
unnatural feeling about my frame, as
though my spinal column had broken ranks,
and each vertebra had crowded out be-
tween different ribs. There Is also broad
expanse of raw scalp in the neighborhood
of the occipital bone, and the parletals
have acquired several new styles OF sutures;
and my nose temporarily reclines in the
shade of my ear. A man may be a good
Judge of horsefesh. and yet know but very
little concerning the disposition and every
day habits of the bicycle. He may even
understand the construction and action OF
the mule, and yet he will find more gentle
surprises to the square inch In full
grown and active bicycle than he ever
heard of in his natural life. That has been
my experience. Two weeks ago l pur-
chased an iron-gray bicycle, about seven
teen hands high, and had it Jed around to
my stable. 1t was stylish, highbred
thing, with a proud mien and close cropped
tail. For while l allowed it to browse
about on the lawn last night; then | CONF
menced making oyertures toward it,
For time it repealed my adj
vances and appeared shy and girl
ish, but gradually becoming accustomed
to my style of management, 1t leaned
familiarly against me, and allowed me to
pick up its hind wheel, and look at its
teeth, and, finally, as last token of conf
dence and esteem, it laid its head on my
shoulder. and in sweet, conhding way.
snickered in my ear.
Then, with the grace and abandon of u
wild broncho trainer, led i out on the
avenue and prepared to mount the subdued
racer. NV wife was standing in the door
her face, and, telling her that l would not
be gone long, as | only intended to ride a
mile or twothat / might get in trim to win
the prize to-day, l started on a trot along
side the bicycle. l did this to make TIE
creature feel more acquainted, and TO show
it that intended to be gentle with it and
not iab my heels into its ribs, and belt it
over the head, and yell like Comanche
after scalps. After trotting along in this
manner for a rod or two, put my foot in
the stirrup and swung into the saddle.
This sudden movement probably surprised
it, for il looked reproachfully at me as
though / Lad trihed with its confidence. 1t
evidently thought We were out for little
play spell, and were billed to trot around
the square together, as a team. For a
moment ii continued its course, and
proudly gathered up the reins; then q
dreamy, troubled look came into its
eyes, and, concluding that l had
been hornswoggled into buying n bicycle
that was subject TO fits, l dismounted. My
usual style of dismounting is TO strike the
ground feet first, this time l varied the
programme and introduced several new and
strictly original features. 1t is a terrible
thing to witness full grown bicycle in the
agonizing throes of seventeen by twenty
nine fit. There is something novel and
awe-inspiring about it to the man who is
blindly endeavoring to grope his way out
from under frisky bicycle. When you
are aboard the bicycle there are only two
wheels. but when the thing playfully sits
straddle of your neck, there seem to be
fourteen wheels and eleven dozen handles
with nickel plated points. / changed my
mind about entering my name in the racing
lists to- day, and have concluded that it is