Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1887-07-01
BUTLER. PA. FRIDAY, JULY !, 1887

ays down. The Unison gals wuz thar sho
lufT, an'-ges ho.' Ii > hat, somebody, while
think Nv her-NisS Liza, bless her fat
avs, wuz thar germ life, un er aver
age hoss. Don't Trdcrstan' ne to mean
any disrespecii when L cOnpar that lovely
creetur with cr hos5, fur l2mLe tell you,
The human family will have to improve
nightly bcfo' it lletcLcs up with the boss
lit mout not peer TO be necessary to
speak about the sizes Nv these folks, but
ri jest say that weight had er good
leal to do with the ta.lncs5 NV the capers
that WIZ cut that deg.
''Old Shucl, wuz in his glory, an lowed
that the country's birthday should be cily-
brated in er manner that the neignbors
wouldn't soon furgit
"'How you goin' to do it, Shuck!' says
l. I'VE kain't do nothia' but set CT round
an stuff ourselves with Watermilons an
sich'
"'Don't fool yo'se'I,' says he, Pm goin'
to have some 'splosicns here airter while
that'll lay all the trccracllers an tawpe-
tiers you ever seed in the everlastin'
shade. See this takin' CIR package outen
the pocket w his dustCr. Here's two
pounds NV the finest b!astjn' powder you
ever come er cross. Alrter we eat an
drink er while we'll step out here an bore
holes in logs, load ZEN up an have the all
fircdest bombardment you ever seed. Folks
way over the creek VIII think that the big
est Fourth uv July this country ever seed
has Jest been turned loose on the com
munity'
"'Oh, Cousin Shuck,' said Miss Liza
an ez | remarked jest now, bless her fat
jaws-'please don't have no shootin' fur it
skeers me-
"'Bless yo' soul an body, Lizy,' Shuck
replied, Il wouldn't slzeer you fur nothin'
in the world, but On this ercasion I'm jest
nachully bound to turn the hills an hollers
wrong side out'ard, er haw, haw-plum
wrong side out'ards, Uncle Mose,' he
added, grinnin' at the lean old man.
claws massy,' cried Shuck's wife,
the white sow is in the milon patch. Run
Shucll an knock her fetch talked head off,
'Shuck he drapped the package Nv pow
der in er cheer an er way he went, an
Liza snatched up the powder, retched up
am put it On a limb Nv the tree an begged
US not to tell Shuck whar it wuz which we
all promised that we wouldn't Shucll
braught er big milon back with him an we
div into it red-eyed. Then he axed fur his
powder We all lowed that we hadn't
seed it.
"That'n never do in the world, says he.
'Er fou'th Nv July cilybration without pow
der is like er set Nv plow gear without er
back band-jest nachully won't go. Uncle
Nose, whar's the powder.'
"'Ain't seed it Shucz. Bleve you tuck
it with you when you went airter the white
SOW
"'That's gest erbout whut did, says
Shuck, an he put out to look fur it, an
when he couldn't find it, he went up in the
fence corner an cusscd that ole sow fur
ever thing he could think Nv an Liza
bless-but never mind, laughed fit to kill
her sweet SELF Then Shuck fotch out his
Jug 1t made the gals grin nightly when
they tuck er pull at it jest to be sociable,
you know, but tell you it made ole Uncle
Moses mouth pop like er hickory bark
whip.
"'My stairs erlive' said one Nv the Jimi-
son gals, the black gnats is 50 bad er body
CANT hardly live
That's er faclz, said Liza, 'an' they run
me nearly stracted.'
90 .Pll fix 'em,' Shucls lowed, an he went
into the house, an soon come out with
some fire in er big dinner pot. He sot it
on the ground an the ladies all thanked
him fur his kline an plite er tention.
'Shuck, says Uncle Mose-the ole fel-
Ter is powerful frolcky-'they tell me
that you learnt er new step when you
went over to the Bran dance the other
day. Give it to US
" oh, yes, do, Cousin Shuck,' said Liza
that's all right. Give it to US, fur ]
know We'll be so much edified.' That