The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-30
BRIGHT BITS.
INA. what is a casus helIiY

HELEN-Mamma what is a casus belli?
Mother--My child, never speak of anything so
indicate. 1t is the Latin for Stomachache.-
Life.
PRoF. K.-Mr Smith, can you give me good
Illustration of reserved power?
Mr. Smith-Yes, sir; mule waiting for fool.
Huntington Free Press
DON'T KNOW what to do with the hired girl, ,"
said young wife. she's absolutely useless,
and yet hate to discharge her"
why don't you teach her to light the fire
with kerosenei' inqured.her husband.-Wash-
jpgton Critic.
RoBBIE-Mamma, doesn't it make your hands
warm when you spank me.
Mamma-Why, yes, Robbie, it does.
Robbie-wouldn't it do just as well then,
mamma for you to go and hold EN- over the
register?-BurtingtOH Free Press.
RUSHED INTo First Omaha Man
There's old Rednose drunk again.
Second Omaha Man-Yes, l told him not to
take that job, but he wouldn't listen.
What ioby"
II don't know exactly what the work was, but
it was somewhere down in Kansas '-O Omaha
Worli.
DumLEY Sunday evening" Hello, Featherly,
which way?
Featherly lin haste)-Don't detain me- OLD
man; I'm going to church, and it's nearly 8
o'clock now.
Dumley (astonished)-w ha-aat! You going
to church, What do you expect to do there?
Featherly-Help a pretty little 1S-year-old
girl hold up hymn book. Ta-ta, Dumley,-LUe.
CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CAsEs.-Advertiser-
What is the circulation of this paper?
About forty, and most of them deadheads.
Forty! Why, you said yesterday that 1t had
a sworn circulation of 1880"
Il know did.
Then what do you mean, anyhow"
my dear sir, mean that sold out my inter
est in the paper last evening. Lincoln Jour
nal
tiYvry. ~ hind of a spaka did Won saw that waq
pa?''
IAN adder, my son."
AN adder? What do they call him that fors
He hasn't got any feet, has he?N
mo; but what has that to do with it?H
why, if he hasn't any feet don't see how
he can be an adder for he can't foot up col
umn, he?''-Yonbers Gazette.
A srGGAR called at the clothing emporium of
Moses Schaumberg, and said to the proprietor:
Please assist poor man.
500 away nit you, or l calls dot bolice."
Good by" said the mendicant, as he moved
off.
Recommend me to your friends ven dey
wants Something's in my line" said Nose out of
pure force of habit, that being his usual parting
salutation to his customers.-Teras StftingS.
WHAT luck did you have at the farmhouse?"
asked one tramp of the other.
None at all The woman was too blamed
mistrustful.'
''How was that?"
when | asked her for something to eat she
L L
could"
yes; what then?'
well, I'll be dog oned if she didn't want me
to prove it."-herchdnt TrGUeler
IRATE PoIIrICIAN-See here, sir; didu't I tell
you to run this paper SO as to please our con-
Stituents?
Editor Party Organ-Thats what I'm trying
to do, sir
You are making pretty mess of it. Look at
this expression. He did it. -"
What was wrong with that?'
THE word did If you don't want to make
our constituents think we're stuck up, you must
say He done it, Omaha World
Coon CIrIzEN-I have called sir, to see if
cannot induce you to use your influence against
monopoly.
jay Gould Editor-Really. there is no
monopoly. no monopoly anywhere
1.-The railroads have conspired to -"
"No conspiracy at all, merely business agree
ment."
THE spectators are cornering the necessaries
of life and -"
Mere report, sir, nothing of the kind has
been done"
''All sorts of manufacturers are forming
trusts to rob the people"
''Only trying to make an honest living that's
ALL
And to-day hear that the manufacturers of
shears have formed trust.
Great Scott This thing has got to stop
Omaha World.