New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1887-07-20
WILD BILL.
His Wife's Unsuccessful Effort to Scare Him Out
of His Drinking Habit.

His Wife's Unsnecessful Effort to Scare Him Out
Of His Drinking Habit.
wild Bill was good shot, was he
not?''
With the six-shooter he was simply
wonderful. In my entertainment
glue an illustration Of double shot
he made out at Hays City, Kansas,
IN the early days, when he shot two
soldiers, one ia front OF him and one
directly behind him, each endeavor.
ing to shoot him before he could draw
his gun. He killed one and mortally
wounded the other and the two re-
ports Of the revolver seemed almost
as one. The marvellous feat was the
talk OF the country for q long time.
In fact, when I came by there a few
days ago one Of the old residents who
witnessed the killing, mentioned it to
me, and said he could scarcely be-
lieve it even after seeing it. Bill never
missed his mark. / have seen him
take q pistol in each hand and fire
with right and left pistol at a can
thrown IN the air, hitting it with both
bullets. By the way, / heard very
funny story told on Bill sometime
ago. Il you remember, he married
Mrs. Agnes Lake, the widow of Lake.
the circus man. Bill fairly Worship
ped his wife, but despite his great love
for her she never could induce him to
quit drinking. He would come home
full OF bad whisky, and one day Mrs.
Hickok said to him:
"Blll, if you don't quilt this drink
ing pretty soon you will actually be-
gin to see monkeys
Monkeys? said he. What do you
mean, little one?'
"Why, you know, when people back
east drink too much. OF the kind OF
whisky they get back there they see
snakes; but this awful stuff out here
makes them see monkeys
Bill laughed at her, and did not
give tho matter a second thought, lit
tie dreaming that she had put up a
cob to break him Of his lntemperate
habits. There was a tame monkey in
the town-Cheyenne, | believe it was
and Mrs. Hickok had induced its own
er to loan 1t to her for a night. Bill
came home that night comfortably
drunk, and after he had gone to sleep
his wife secured the monkey and
chained it to the footof the bed. Then
turning down the light alittle, she too
retired and awaited results. Bill woke
up in the night burning with thirst,
and raised up into sitting posture,
intending to get out of bed and get a
drink Of water. There. perched upon
the foot-board, was the monkey, star
ing him in the face with hideous grim.
aces. He rubbed his bleared eyes,
looked again, and a horrible suspicion
came into his befuddled brain. Had
his wife told the truth? Did he really
have 'em? Finally, he sprang out on
the floor, seized his six-shooter which
lay on a table near. levelled it at the
creature, and said:
Now. old man, if you are mon
key you're in a bad fix; if you amt q
monkey Pm in a bad Ak At the
same instant he fired, and the mon
key fell over in the agonies of death.
His wife who had been watching the
working OF her scheme, sprang up in
Eed with a scream, and Bill, turning
to her with a broad smile of the most
intence satisfaction, said;
".Lithe woman, congratulate me,
Tor | havejust had wonderful escape
| amt as drunk as thought I was,
an there's a monkey lynn there on
the floor thatll never intrude itself
into the domestic felicity OF another
happy family an make a gentleman
think he's got the jim-jams.' kan
sas City Times.