Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-11-18
PITR AND porm

oNAAoA ouOulO Dc likn ~
quite at home in his she'll 'D7 oyster
The more reckless a shin ~
the more wrecks he is apt to hap apsala
WHICH ID the best ~ ~ lave
seasons for arithmetic? The eu snnl fog
IRIS happy woman who o, s"nne1
her new bonnet on first s;a raa seled
ci'anaH Telegram. en''~Ciu
WHEN trousers show sipna ..
glng at the knees it begins to NJ pa nag
to pay for them.-PucE. " 'e ha,|
BLESSED be the tie that hind ,
never sung by the man who , was Va
to be hung.-Carl Pretzel. ""S soal
MARYLAND produces a man -
that ne can remember when thu 80 40!
was flat.-Alta California;. 'D0 cart
THE June bug disappears in 1rno
The lightning bug in NAV one'
me PED. Dug takes his bonnet of
And says, I've come to stay.sn'
A SUBSCRIBER asks: "What COW,
ring-worms9" We do not know cause
lively, but suspect that r;n nvs pos
are caused by the worms ro;n@ T0 y
politics.-NeDma,s Iadependent ny
UNTIL once with a picnic part,
stumbled over a wasps' nest W. "
never fully grasped all the on t aa
and circumjacent wisdom Of ~
saying that nothing runs like a w vuv oI
stung. ''ns
The man who raised a cahh.
head has done more good than oI1 X
metaphysicians in the world, " ohs :. ~
Professor Bronson. "Then," obserre
Professor Jones, "your mother onse
to have the premium.
HUsBASD-Wife, hand me out NJ
Sunday coat.-Wife-But, NV ds. q
this is not Sunday; it is only Sa,u sss
II know it's only Saturday, but I'm a :!
ing to attend fashionable dinner ~
it will be Sunday before I get back
Texas Sifti,lgs.
STRANGER Tin law office): I want
see Mr.-er-the gentleman with d
red beard who usually sits at that dss
by the window. Intelligent Lawyss'
Clerk-Well, that gentleman's gone d
the day, sir; but there's gentlema
with a long white beard who'll be bad
directly.
A VERMoNrER, attending praysl
meeting in Massachusetts,, heard
elderly gentleman express his feeling
in the following manner: "And y
should all, my very dear friends, ble
the Lord that we were not born
Africa or Vermont, nor any other da,I T.
corner Of the earth"
OMAHA Girl-What! Art at funeral,
Boston Girl-Yes indeed. Ham
painted collins are all the style in b.
ton now. Some of the latest dess
are most gloriously beautiful. "Bes
tiful!" "Distractingly. It is all \
can do to keep people from commitia
suicide. "-Omaha World.
TERRIBLE storm that, last evenn,
George" sDidn't hear it, old man
Didn't hear it? Man alive, it TIM,
dered fit to wake the dead :" "Ha,
thought I saw lightning, but didn
hear any thunder. An old schoolmat
of my wife's is visiting her and the
haven't seen each other for ten years
--Burdette.
A son of the Emerald Isle meetu
countryman whose face was not pei
fectly remembered, after salutine bill
most cordially, inquired his nam
"Walsh, was the answer. "Wals
Walsh, responded the Paddy, aare
not from Cork? I knew two old maid
there of that name. Was ayther
them yer mother?"
"Br the way" inquired the scholar
visitor, II suppose you are well sup
piled with light literature, Mrs Bean
blower; have you on your shelvd
Arnold's Light of Asia?'" "Wall, nd
Miss Vassarine, I don't b'leeve l have
Since Matilda Jerusha came so nea
being blown up with camphene tel
years ago, Mr.. Beanblower has sothi
foot down fiat agin any of them fool
killers. I know we'll enough ther
amt a drop of Light of Asia in th
house. You see We conine ourselvs
entirely to taller candles and kerosene
and Danl says them amt no more dan
gerous than sperm lie, and they come
tarnal sight cheaper. Carl Pret'sI1
National.