, 1887-02-02
THE PROPER MANNER.
a REASON Why AMERICAN WOMEN
DISLIKE DOMESTIC SERVICE

DISLIKE DOMESTIC SERVICE
A Sense of Humiliation That l. Entirely
Unn.esssnrs-Tor Ever. oniciai Posi-
iiom There l. an Omciai Manner.
The Two librarians.
In the very interesting letter written 80
The New York Nation there is one reason
given why American women do not Ike
domestic service" on which | should like
to make Il remark. No. : Of the an1v srs
10 this question. Obtained from tic mem
bers Of the Philadelphia WoriIngwomen's
guild, il rs follows; Il know an educated
wonsan-a lady-who tried il MS u SORT OF
upper hou5emaid. The work wa easy
and tir pay good, and she never had n
harsh word, but they just seemed uncon-
sc.ouI Of her existence. She said the gem
tlemcn Of Tie house, father and son, would
come In and stand before her 10 have her
take their umbrellas or help them off with
their coat;, sometimes without speaking
TO her or even looking at her. There was
soNQching 80 humiliating about it that
slo couldn't stand it, but went back to
glcp shop sewing"
II seems 10 me that this sense of hui
initiation was entirely unnecessary-that
IL came from n misunderstanding Of the
clse; and TINT this MISUNDERSTANDING is
peculiarly frequent in women, and cannot
but seriously hamper them in the effort to
make, as men do, their own place In tho
world. II does not matter now they are
trying 70 make it-whether rs shop girls,
librarians, domestic servants, doctors or
d~res5makers; the mistake is equally fatal
In every kim of work, and may b. no
ticed just us often III one US in an ;hcr.
1t Is simply this: The failure to recognize
that for every official position there il an
official manner. That Is tho very first
thing u man learns when he enters on any
profession whatsoever; it is that which
preserves his dignity and Independence,
enables him to become proficient in his
business and clears the ground for that
true friendship between him and his en-
ploycr, which Is founded on mutual re-
spcct and gratitude. Take away this of
ficinl n and you make life trouble
some and difficult FOR the employer indeed,
whether he he the shop girls customer,
the servants master or the doctor'J pa
tient, but you make 1t also a thousand
times more troublesome and difficult, nay,
dangerous and intolerable, for the en-
ployed.
MADE A M1srAKE
/ think the lady in question who tried
being upper houscmaid-and for whom,
though l think she made n mistake, I feel
nothing but n very real sympathy-might
easily have kept both her self respect and
her good pay by making one slight effort
of imagination. Let her picture to her
self her position II the gentlemen Of the
house undertook to treat her. not as an
official, but as one of their Indy friends.
Would this make it less or more disagree
able to help them off with their conts ,
Would it not seem Il liberty in them to
.A1E -...I -A- - -
how would they have gained the right to
treat her as n friend Is friendship a
thing she will sell for good pay p These
men were strangers to her; she had made
n contract TO do for them, in considcra-
tiOn OF "a money equivalent for her trouble,
certain things which they disliked, or
were not able to do, for themselves; their
right was her work, just as her right was
their money; but neither had a right to
the Others friendship, for the simple rea-
son that triendship-besides being too
sacred, too full of danger us of blessing,
to he desirable with persons whose char
meter and disposition we have had no
chance to learn-is ono Of those things
which gruw and are not made, and Of
which artificial limitations are worse than
nothing The official manner which was
expected of her, the apparent Ignoring OF
her presence, the silent acceptance OF her
serNices, far from being humiliating, were
% proper respect to her, II right protection,
and lad this been removed, She, / am
SURE, would quickly have felt and resented
her loss.
\ GREAT coSrfAsr.
] know two librarians; enc the very
ideal OF an official ohary III speecl, digni-
fled, prompt. active, imtnovably gracious,
distant aud obliging, and thereby SO I'M.
pressiyo THAT the whole town, whose SER
want she is, receives its books from her,
nskA her fur Information and pays her its
fines with submissive and nffectionatc
gratitude. The other has no official man
ner; she Is just herself personally, and
YOU. il you ask her fur II book, are asking
u favor Of her. She cannot establish her
authority over the patrons OF the library,
because, lawful rs that authority really
is, she takes it, by her manner, com-
pletely off its proper basis, and make il
"A mere attempt OH the part of one free
citizen to command another, which human
nature viii not stand,
Every doctor Knows hat his profess
sional manner is worth half his practice
to him; not because it gives him an mir
of being wiser than he really is, but be-
cause it makes for his patients II certain
assured ground to go upon; they know
what 10 expect; and without it the AN
noyances of illness would be very much
increased. Equal advantages in the study
OF medicine, equal talents and power even,
will not make women as good doctors as
men are If they cannot learn this. | may
bG satisfied that II lady Is n very Jenner,
u Thompson, a Warren, for skill and learn
Ing, but till | perceive that she has IN
iinmovnble professional manner | shall
not ask her professional advice. Nor cau
! imagine that the practice of TINT pro
tession will be agreeable or elevating TO
herself In the same way, for every de
partment Of life in which human beings
are brought into a relation with each other
which is not of nature, nor of affection,
there must be n conventional form estab-
lished which shall defend the personality
Of onch- This is the indispensable pre-
requisite of friendship, it is only things
distinctly divided which can be brought
into union; there is no unity in an un-
divided mass.-"G. L. NJ" ia Boston
Transcript.
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