New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-04-17
TO BE AN EDITOR.
JOHN PAUL CONGRESSES TO AN ERROR.

BOTTOM.
Editors may be needed on the daily press and
the monthly magazines, but they certainly ore not
wanted.
When wrapped rcd muii'er round my cars ono
sprng-like day In early March. and started for
tour among the newspaper Offices looking upon
lha City Hall Park to secure o situation for my
friend pythaporas nlgslnbottom accent on the
"tom." II You pleaseh fresh from Princeton md
ovsrHowina With the high purpose and bristling
principles impaired BY good Dr. McCosE. It was
with the utmost confidence. And while soaring
skyward to tho tower with which AM most
familiar there was no abatement OF this conf.
denca IL was only when told that the editor was
engaged and requested to scat myself In tho ante
room with crowd Of clsrsymen, Uaited States
Senators, popular play wrights and district messen-
ger boys ell of whom had moro or less MSS. peep
lag out OF their pockets that my confidence
received a chill Admitted to the presence Of him
usually called the August Editor-though for tho
matter of that they have the same one In March
stated my errand briefly as possible something
thus, The young IN an meant law eventually. but
In the meanwhile would be woll content to pick up
a paltry four or Eve thousand year by writing
editorials, paragraphs. poetry. supervising the
views of statesmen, setting tho Administration
right on mooted points of government, or doing
anything else that properly comes within On
editors sphere, The only thing at which no would
positively kick would be the disembowelling OF
sermons for the Monday paper, Then l went on
to remark that in the old DAYS college graduates
were received with favor were grasped at In fact
their freshness as writers kept them evor In de-
mand. since by simply cutting off prelude and
peroration their articles became most available
The editor remarked that the freshness of these
articles was az noticeable and as delightful as ever
but that he had improved on the method OF his
predecessors by cutting of the hole article-drop-
ping 1t bodily into tho wnste basket. This was not
quite rosssuring to the writer but gave more sat
isfaotlon to the reader, he observed.
In reply to my question could he not suggest
something for young man to do In this great city,
he asked II he had not understood me to say that
my friend contemplated practising law eventually.
On my answering in the affirmative he looked out
of the window upon the vast panorama unroled
before us-the roaring streets below. the busy Bay
beyond, and BarthoIGis Statue looming up in the
distance, tapped his forehead thoughtfully with
pen-writor lit may have been type-wper, but
am ever forgetful of details) and said with the
dreamy air of one when revelation has de-
scended al have it. Let him hire an Office In The
Building and become one OF Light and air in
plenty, two elevators constantly running and the
rent collected with regularity. All sorts of posi-
bities are open to the young man who starts right
In life.'
1t seemed to ne thcre'd be a chance In the more
modest newspaper building across tho way, for
had noticed in every visit to Franklin Square tnat
the off ces there seemed flied with editors who but
a few days before had places here in Park Row.
Rotation Is the thief of The Times said l. and this is
opportunity.
A venerable looking gentleman sat at his desk on
a lower floor so busily occupied was he that be
scarcely noticed my entrance. a map was spread
cut before MIN on which with compass and pair
of shears he was industriously tracing and
marking down mountains AMI rivers; II your
friend has any talent for explorations. he said In
reply 10 my inquiry, I" can place him. There is
ambition more noble than that which thirsts for
fresh dlscOyeries-and IL Is easily gTatiiod If the
roads be macadamized. Pity that ByraDt had not
known about my river when he wrote 'Thanatop.
sis How mach greater would have been the swell
of 8 verse had he written:
"where rolls tho Georgieonos. and hears
Save his own --ingsp
Know ing that 1t would be impossible to urge any
graduate Of Princeton 80 far beyond New-Jerscy,
pLr ned my way along Park Row until camo to n
newspaper buildlng on whose bulletin board was
displayed the legend 4" 1853 600. 900 wants In
year" As 1t seemed possible that among 80 many
wants an editor m ght be wanted, entered. No
one being permitted TO go up stairs without hrst
sending up his name j stood on my hind legs
awhile, among astTol0gists, honsekecpers. makers
Of patent collins. stacks of trochses, aud mon who
seemed TO he ch0pping wood. Asking what these
last mentioned were dong. was told that they
we're enRrayingmmaklng portraits OF notable
In getting nv name up stairs-the elevator was
busy they sal bringing down bodies
"What bodies r. asked.
@Oh, only the editors ana outside contributors
who've been having interviews with tho chiei' the
elevator boy said.
the already moistentd floor. as recognized among
others the PROSTATE form OF an old-time friend.
Ills bat was crushed in, his eyeglasses were
shattered, dust covered his clothes aud though his
bands-fnIl Of copy-were peacefully folded across
his breast be had not at all the clerical loox which
often caused him to Le mistaken by strangers for
aNo" / said to the elevator-b boy, who broke
in upon my meditations by saying that the Chief.
putting MP 5O-pound dumb bells, would like to see
the aspiring gymnast who was around looking Tor
situations for friends; "No,' said. 9Th not
insist on seeing the editor to-day. Please say to
him that only called to pnt want in the paper
and please assure him that believe his circulation
to DO any thing that h. peases to say II $40 nsed
Suaiara Scredmer In thinking that his paper Is tho
greatest paper on earth; that don't want better
fact and that m look round and him again. in
year or two perhaps-or as soon as feel q little
more like dying"
Retracng my steps, ! paused in admiration and
doubt before a door adorned. yea fairly blazing
with bulletins IN brght-colored oha'ks-in admra-
ton because recognized In the deit touch, the
unspeakablo draw ing, the unapproac color
the Incompatible hand Of an artist friend in
doubt because on several occasions, siuce his
retirement from the assistant sectar anship OF wsr
had sent to the editor treatses on various
abstruse subjects to which lie didn't even Dana
reply. However, finally entered. Finding tue
son In the chair and the Office cat midway between
the III bag and the waste basket, 1t occurred to
me That the Opens were auspicions. and intro.
duced the subject of Higgn bottom. remarking that
having been somewhat disappointed with respect
to other al Tlications he nigh: be induced to do it
for two cents Before had half dOno enumerating
the qualifications of my Young man, mentioning
among other things that he was pitcher of the
Princeton Nine the son wheeled rOund in his chair
and sharply asked =" Can be pitch into Jones y |
onlossed with blush thai though DR.. McCosh
put out fcelers In many directions. Pitching gin o.
Jones was not included In the Princeton curric-
ulum, and bowed my way out