Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-09-01
THE BAeY OBJECTS.
Tommy Cute Writes q Real Sensible L,
ter to an Editor


Tommy Cute Writes a Real Sensible Let
ter to an Editor.
Tommy Cute, aged one, having suf-
Tered as long as he can stand it, writes
to us, in order that his grievances, be-
ing known to the public, they may I'M
mediately be cured.
object, he says. in the first place.
to being forced to adopt Farmer Jones'
brindle cow for foster mother.
object also to the existence of a
like relationship between myself and
the condensed milk-factory or the corn
starch mill.
object to having my stomach stuffed
as remedy for a mosquito bite on my
little toe or nasty pin in my neck.
object to personating o churn. I
prefer to take my butter after the
churning process is completed.
1 object to being kissed by all the
women, old and young, who come
near me. Iprefer to wait few years,
OF at least until / shall be old enough
to make my own selections.
object to having people ask me
about my age. 1t is an impertinence.
Besides. grown people sometimes re-
member. and of ages they are especial
ly apt in keeping record.
object to having to 60 hungry until
company is served. For my part,
don't see what people want company
for. Company is nuisance. Mann
ma and papa have said so hundreds of
times in my hearing.
object to being obliged to 90
about with my neck and arms bare.
When it is hot. the flies and mosquitoes
bother me awfully, and when the air is
chilly. feel as though 1 were freezing
to death.
object. when 1 60 out to ride in my
perambulator, to having myself left
alone in the sun while my maid sports
with that long-legged chap with the
yellow moustache and ready-made
clothing.
1 object to being sent to bed when
am not sleepy, and to having a nasty
rubber tube stuck into my mouth every
time turn over in the night
l object to having strangers make
faces at me. They give me an awful
start sometimes when they think they
are amusing me.
object to being spoken to by peo-
pie with whom I am unacquainted.
Why don't they wait for an introduce
ton?
object to being the only child in the
family. It's awfully lonesome not to
have any brothers or sisters. I wish l
had been born when it was fashionable
to have large families.
object to being called Tom, just be-
cause my papa was called Tom when
he was a boy. Because his papa gave
him name he didn't like was no rea-
son for giving me a name 1 detest
should think a boy ought to be al
lowed to choose his own name.
object to wearing dresses and hav-
ing my hair curled. Half the folks
think I'm gal.
object to being bossed by women.
A man ought to be his own master.
I'm just sick of petticoat government.
object to being taught baby talk.
What good does it do me? After Ihave
become proficient in it l have to 90 to
work and unlearn it and learn grown
folks language. Why don't they teach
me hat in the first place?
I object to having folks bore me with
their silly stories which have heard
so many times that they are veritable
chestHus
/ object to having people try to hum
bug me all the time They tell me
what / should do and what / should
not do. notice they are not given to
taking their own medicine. What
ounces they are not to know that 1
learn more from what see than from
what they tell me!
There's lots of other thing to which
I object, but this will do for a starter
Boston Transcript.