The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-11-09

Bill Nye ON Hotels.
America has made many gigantic
strides, writes Bill Nye, in the Nelo
York World, aside from those made at
the battle of Bull Run, and her people
spend much Of their time pointing with
pride to her remarkable progress, but
we are prone to dwell too much upon
our advantages as q summer resort and
our adroit methods of declining the
Presidency before we are asked, while
We forget some of our more important
improvements, like the elevated rail
way and the American hotel.
Let us, for a moment, look at the
great changes that have been wrought
in hotels during the past century. How
marked has been the improvement
and how wonderful the advancement!
Everything has been changed. Even
the towels have been changed
Electric bells, consisting of long
and alert wire with an overcoat button
at one end and q reticent boy at the
other, have taken the place of the
human voice and a browed red elm
club. Where once we were compelled
to fall down dark, narrow staircase,
now we can 90 down the elevator or
wander down the wrong stairway and
find ourselves in the laundry.
Where once we were mortified by be-
ing compelled to rise at table, reach
nine feet and stab q porous pancake
with our fork, meantime wiping the
milk gravy out of large yellow bowl
with our coat tails, now we can hire O
tall, 1.-the gentleman in full dress suit
to pass us the pancakes.
Even the bar-rooms of American ho-
tells are changed. Once the bartender
waited till his customer ran all his re-
marks into one long hoarse word, with
hiccough on the end, and then he
took him by the collar and threw him
out into the cold and chaotic night.
Now the bartender gradually rises on
the price of drinks till his customer is
frozen out, and while he is gone to the
reading-room to borrow some more
money the chemist moves the bar some
where else, and when the guest returns
he finds barber shop where he thought
he left a bar-room.
1t is very rare now that we see a
United States Senator shaking two
year-old Mambrino hair trunk up three
flights of stairs to his room in order to
secure the labor vote. Men, as we'll as
hotels and hotel soap, have changed.
Where once a cake of soap would only
last few weeks, science has come in
and perfected q style of pink SOAP
favored with vanilla, that will last for
years, and new slippery elm towel that
is absolutely impervious to moisture.
Hand in hand this soap and towel go
gayly down the corridors of time, well
coming the coming and speeding the
parting guest, jumping deftly out
of the hands of the aristocracy
into the hands of a receiver, but
always calm, smooth, and latherless.
A great many droll characters and
bright, shrewd men are met with
among hotel proprietors wherever you
go. THE Fat Contributor" was lectur-
ing once in the State of Kentucky, and
had occasion to take dinner at six
bit hotel. After the meal Mr.. Girls
void stepped up to the counter, took
out bale of bank-notes, which he had
received for his lecture the evening be-
fore, and asked what the damage was.
"Ihree dollars, said the blue grass
gentleman, who had buttoned his col
lar with a ten-penny nail, while he
looked at "Gris" with panied EXPIRE
sion.
"Yes, but man ought to be able to
board here week for $50. The whole
house didn't cost more than $40 or 5 70.
What's your idea in charging me So for
wad of hominy and a piece Of
parched pork?"
well, sir" said the urbane land
lord, as he put out the fire at a dis
lance of twenty feet by emptying his
sahvary surplus on it, Il need the
money"
The frankness and open, candid
manner of the man won Mr.. Griswold,
and he asked him if he thought So
would be enough. The landlord said
he could get along with that. Then
Griswold opened his valise and took
out large brunette bottle of liniment
marked "For external use." He passed
it over to the landlord and told him
that this stuff worked as well on the
inside as it did on the outside. In a
few moments the liniment of the "Fat
Contributor" and the liniment of the
landlord had merged into each other,
and friendly feeling sprang up be-
tween the two men which time has
never effaced. l have often thought
of this and wondered why it is that ho-
tel men are not more open and cordial
with their guests. Many time have
paid large bill grudgingly when 1
would have done it cheerfully if the
landlord had told me he was in need.
Brussels Lace.