davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
PINNED TO HIS Seat.
A YOUNG MAN COMPELLED TO GO
WITHOUT HIS TODDN.
LFrom the Baltimore Amenean |.

FROM the DaltlmOle hhttltdhI'
1t is a very good story which a
genial friend of ours tells about a !
young man of his acquaintance
The young man, it seems, is good
looking, OF a nice family and a good !
deal of fayOrlte with the ladies'
But he is altogether too fond of a |
little red liquor, neatly trimmed
with lemon and things and served
in cut .glass-sO fond, indeed, that |
some of the more careful girls have !
of late fought shy Of his escort to
places of amusement. One day
last week he invited a young lady
to go and see ''The Harbor Lights"
She wanted to see the play, and,
the truth is, rather liked Tom-we
will call the young man Tom for
short-but she hesitated about ac.
ceptIng the invitation. Her friends
advised her to decline, and warned
her that, if she accepted, Tom would
leave her alone a few minutes after
every act, while he was out inter
viewing the nearest barkeeper.
"Oh, no, he wouldn't do that
said the young lady.
ayes, but he would" the advisers
replied; she took En- johnson
week before last, and went out
three times and came in chewing
cloves and coffee, and En- was so
mortified that she says
"But he wouldn't leave me alone
in the theater, l know" the young
lady retorted, confidently; "and to
prove it will accept his invitation"
On the way to the theater Tom
was all gallantry and the curtain
once up be was greatly interested
in the drama. But at the end OF
the first act he made a brief apollo
gy to the effect that he wished to
speak with friend whom he saw
standing IN the foyer, and rose to
90. But he didn't 90. Something
seemed to take hold Of his coat
! tails and pull him back into hl'
seat. Imagine poor Toms chagrr
: and surprise when seconds inves
tigation showed him that his fan
companion, who sat with such al
innocent look in her brown eyes
r had pinned his coat to the uphol
: sterlng of the seat with a good
!, strong safety pin. Toms face fel
as if it was on broler, and a coli
wave or two ran up and down IN
spinal column, but he didn't say
= word. Nor did he leave his sea
until the curtain fell on the happ.
; denouement in the play. The en'
, of the little drama in the dresser
Gle seats was equally agreeable, 10
'' on their way out Tom smlllngl
confessed that the joke was on hlI
! and the reproof a merited one. II
. also promised that if again give
u the pleasure of escortlng his charm
. . ing companion to the theater, n
safety pins would be needed t
. keep him in his seat.
. 81 hope hell marry that girl
). added our genial friend, "becaus
u if he does she'll reform him an
u make man out Of him, as sure a
guns
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
OUR CRANK'S CORNER.
COMMON WORDS UNCoMMoNLY DE-
FINED.

| COMMON WORDS ONCOMmONhi ~
FINED.
CRANK-A poor man who has
and expresses opinions. ANY man
who fails to be humble at the right
time, or who refuses to recognize
the fact that the "boOm' Of life is
over.
SUCCEss-Hard to define. Gen
orally an accident, sometimes an
ncurable disease, and always cost
ly. 1t is very much desired, but
rarely attained by those who seek
it. The genuine article is always a
surprise to the man who secures it,
often coming in the disguise OF
failure, killing its favorite or break
ing his heart and leaving him to
slow death, an humble grave, and
immortal fame.
Those who have tried it say that
next to failure. it is the most
and unsatisfactory thingin life.
FRIEND-A person familiar with
your faults. The most competent
enemy you can make. Good to
have; terrible if lost. Useful if
not used. Apt to turn up at unex'
pected places and times, but rather
shy of any regular appointment.
ENEMY-One who unwittingly
serves you. a faithful critic, good
counsellor, an effective advertisiD &
agent. Cheaper than a standing
"card' and more interesting to the
public. The "rade mecum" Of all
rising public men and an indispen
sible adjunct to a live newspaper.
POwER-What every man tie
sires for himself and hates in 9th
ers. 1t Is useful when diffused,
but in concentration dangerous.
1t is most admired by those who
WELD it, and rarely pleases any
body else. 1t is more ready to de.
stroy than to protect. 1t is inial-
liable.
FAME-A great slave dealer
whose victims come from every
cline; arch enemy of women and
children, and destroyer of homes
another name for courage. de-
votion, perseverance, patriotism
and such virtues marble trnm-
pet in the mouth of marble angel
an ornament of tombs; music for
the ears of the dead. If you de-
sire it, the chances are that you
will not get il. 1t is the most III
expected OF all the "favors Of for
tune.n
TAxEs-The price Of civilization
a compulsory system of self-pro
lection. An infant science which
is growing rapidly and Will yet b'
a great giant. Hard to increase
but harder 10 lessen. a burdeI
every man cheerfullv puts upoi
every other man, and curses wheI
it gals his own back. The small
est outlay for the greatest good ye
discovered.
THE WORLD-In spite OF al
verse criticism, this active littl'
sphere moves on. News from 9th
er quarters is scarce and indefinite
and emigration is slow aud CON
pulsory. Some Improvements az
noted from time to time, but th
government is leisurely and take
eternity into its calcnlatiOnH.-
Some of the citizens are impair EN-
some restless, and many rebelli oui
but the government is central izet
strong, and stable, and no imm'
date danger is apprehenc ed
Richmond Wing.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
SHE WAS NOT An ELOpER.
AND SHE HAD NO END OF GOOD EV.
IDENCE TO SHOW SHE
WAS NOT.


A Logansport lady, en- route home
from Jefferson, had somewhat try
ing and rather ludicrous experience
in this city few days ago. She is
married and thirty.two years old,
but her beauty is of the fresh type
that gives her the appearance OF
being ten years younger. All went
we'll until the train arrived at In
dianapolis. AS soon as it came to
a stop there three policemen board
ed the train and walked through
the cars, eyeing all the passengers
closely. They eyed the lady bound
for Logansport more closely than
any one else. They walked through
the car again, and then again, and
then they consulted, and two Of the
policemen took a seat in front OF
the fair woman and one of them
behind her. At last one OF
them looked her squarely in
the face and inquired her name,
her residence, her age, her destina-
ton and a hundred other questions
that police and newspaper repor-
ters alone can think of. These in
guiries were all answered truthful
ly. Then the police held another
consultation and, although the con-
ductor hollered "All aboard !" at
the demand of the officers he held
| the train for fifteen minutes. AT
last one of the blue coats approach
ed the lady and, in a voice satu'
rated with beer and authority, de-
manded A:
"Ain't your name Mary Allen ?
"No, sir, it's not"
"Didn't you elope this morning
with a young man from LOuisyilleV
"No, SIR
"Well, we are looking for thi'
girl. She is Is, and described al
very pretty, and you answer the de
scriptiOn exactly"
The lady smiled one OF her sweet
est smiles, and, after thanking th'
officer for the charming complimen
that had been paid her, went dow
into her carpet sack and fished on
a handful of credentials that prove'
beyond the shadow Of doubt tha
she was not on an eloping expedl
ton. She showed him letters ad
dressed to Mrs. So-and.So,' pho
tograph of her husband, pair O
warn socks that wanted darnlnl
and last, but not least, a pair G
pantaloons with two port holes !
the seat, and a marble, two skat
KEYS and q Sunday school lesso
leaf in one pocket. These she sal
belonged to hertwelye.year.old boy
and she had taken them with he
expecting to find time to mend theI
while she visited her brothers folk
She offered to 60 deeper into the II
cesses of her grip and bring add
ii Onal evidences of her identity
the surface, but the officers calle
a halt. They were satisfied. Thel
WAS no sign of "love's young dream
in that grip. Down deeper thel
mi ght be cold mince pie, but thel
were certainly no orange blossom
They apologized and smiled, an
the lady accepted the apology an
blushed and smiled, and the CO.
ductor smiled, and as soon as Il
passengers learned the facts the
smiled, and the engine whoop'
and the cars fairly shook their side
1t was a joke, and the pretty lac
bound for Longansport was Il
bright particular star on that tral
indianapolis Journal.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

be correct, and his method may, as
he claims, be the onl, rational one
but it is likely to be long time
before he can induce mankind to
regard pillows as a useless and
harmful part of the bed furniture
Medical Record.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
j, B. KR0Nk,
Il. B.. WILSON,,
Wholesale Tobacconlst,
VNBgIlG ERSSES AIrIsIIOs! A. r.. aIn n!

.''.'''', "S. -, tnrnsh all classes with employ
l'.'ot pa'e@ ~ y. hor1, the whole of the time, or
e'euI - s,.re mements. Business new,
LII, ,"' IN .ad profitable. Persons OF either
ns"s '.,sw1 earn from 80 cents 10 5000 per
syenin and a proportional suni ny ds-
yotm~ill their time 10 the business Boys
,yI 7rls earn nearly as much as men.
.'n .sst al who see this may send their adj
H.. and test the business, we mako
.ng offer. TO such as are not we'll
T.6ed we will send one dollar TO pay
5r the trouble OF writing. Full partie-
1lars and ontht free. Addresz GKORGE
SrtNsoS A. CO.. Portland, Maine
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

A man sat on salt barrel on
Michigan Grand-ave, yesterday
making a great display OF eating a
raw carrot. A small colored boy
halted in front of him, watched
the performance for a while aud
then said "My fadder tried dat
dodge do Odder day. "What
dodgeir "Tryin' fur to git sympa.
thy, but it didn't work" "Wby p
"Kase dc whlskey smells right
frew de karrnt." He's tryln' onions
nOw.r
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

A negro was arrested in Wash.
ipgton last week for horse stealing
in Maryland, and his arrest led to
the recovery, by the detectives, OF
a horse stolen from the Rev. j. b
Averitt, OF Sligo, Nd, last Noyem.
ber. The negro confessed that he
had stolen Mr.. Averitts horse, but
SAID he would rather be hung IL
Washington than tried for horse
stealing in Maryland.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

RoBr. .. WALKER. JSo. L. KELLEn
w ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW,
WooDsroCK. VIRGINIA.
sB- Office on Court Street
One member Of the firm will be in Mt.
Jackson from 3 o'clock Thursday after
noon, until Saturday night Of each week.
Office over Irwin's Drug Store.
May 7 sf-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

The clarke Courier says: Mr.. Lo-
renzo Lewis has lost two more colts
making in all four that have re-
Gently died OF an unknown disease.
Mr.. j. L. Vandiyer, veterinary sur
geon, who opened one OF them, in.
formed us that the lungs of the an
imal were badly diseased, and that
his observation, after referring to
Youatt, leads him to believe the
colts died from what that authority
on the horse terms "strangIes."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

The grand jury of razewell cOnn-
ty, Va, have indicted d. B. Bald
win, late treasurer Of that county,
for a defalcatiOn amounting to
s32, 900. His sureties had that
amount to pay to the State.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
DR A. MARTIN,
SURGEON dff DENTIST

Respectfully informs the public that
ne has resumed the practice Of his pro-
sssion s-dsrs lett at the store Of +. j.
Fravel, In Woodstock, willreceive pro.
s,pt attention
Nay Is, '54-tf
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

During the last eight or hine
years there have been no less than
sixty.aye deaths in Norfolk city
which directly resulted from kero.
sene accidents, caused by kindling
fires with that dangerous fluid.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

The golden beams Of truth and
the silken cords of love, twisted
together, will draw men on with a
sweet violence, whether they will
or not.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
EiusOnic NoIice,

Cassia Lodge, No. LAP, +. a. N; meets IN
Masonic Hall, Woodstock, the last Aon
dav nlaht of each month.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11
lam OUT AGAIN.

TT0fT can live at home, and make more
VIII money at work for Us, than at
IIlII anything else in this world
= w Capital not NEEDED you are
started free Both sexes; all ages. Any
one can do tho work. Large earnings sure
from first start. Costly outfit and terms
free. Better not delay. Costs you moth:
ing to send IA your address and find out
II you arc wise you viii do so at once
II. HALLRTr q Co., Portland, Maine.
Dee. iQ-ly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1887-03-11

A g. wYNKOOP,

A g. wYNKOOP,
TTO RNEY At Law,
OfNcs formerly oeoHpied by AHen and
AagrBder.
WOODSTOCK VA.
Tillprscticei In theeouris Of Shenandoah sud
t4reent counties.
~ Special Attentiongiyen 70 the collection Of
sisims and ailiegAl ntrustedto his care
WILL BEIs Mt. JACKSON on Friday and sAtur-
FAY, before the End Tuesday Of zach month. At
Dr.. L. n. Jorcan's Ofhce.
May 10, '54-tf.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19
fCarson Appeal

(Carson Appeal.
Ibid YOU make much money with
your pen sketches, Mr.. MohanP
sDont mention the gang to me,
replied the Irish Orator, with scorn
OF old Ireland on his features. "By
Jove, they were the worst lot ever
tackled. To think how I laid the BIZ
ographic whitewash on some of them,
and they paid me by taking four cop
les of the paper and insisted upon pay
ing 10 cents copy. 1t isn't every
day that man comes along who is
willing to call a COW county lunatic a
broad and comprehensive statesman,
and describe lop-eared snipe, with a
petty-larceny countenance, as a man
whose thoughtful features proclaimed
to every observer the latent fire of
genius that lurked within. Remarks
like that always commanded q fair
price down in California"
Didn't it sometimes hurt your con-
science little when you did it up SO
brown2"
YES, indeed, it wrenched the tap
roots of my soul. but after the way l
extoled Cleveland my conscience isn't
as sensitive as it was. By the Lord
Harry, if could hire some good me-
chanical genius to make me kicking
machine would have il in constant
use. would have one before me, /
mean behind me, every day. These
fellows are strange coons. One man
that just barely mentioned handed
me $50 check, with a generous com.
pliment to my descriptive powers, and
another man who l painted like an
angel of light, wanted to put me of
with pitiful $40 piece and so Ga
zettes thrown in for nothing.
"One woman came to me and told
me what to say about her husband,
and she said she would hand me q
check tor $50 when it appeared, but
she slid off on the train and never even
said goodbye. Just think of the
ducks | mentioned for Congress and
the Governorship, and while they were
full of OILY promises before these
d falsiiied biographies were
written, they sang another tune after
wards. They are double faced
crowd and disgrace to the civiliza.
ton of the West"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19
Washington Critic. ]

Washington Critic
The following poetical gem formed part
the yolumino1s correspondence received lev
DAYS ago BY secretary Lamar Of the lnteno
Department
Are you the pinsion- claim agent,
Whose name is down there on the doorf
Well, my name. sor, is Torrance McCarty,
An I'll put me hat doom on the ffure
WhileI'll tell you my business. Tim Murphy
He's neighbor of mine. sor, Is TIN,
Ho jist got his pinsion, an sor,
Did the book of the swearing for him
These pinsions are very convenient.
An they're aisy to git, too, you zee.
So thought that Id take wan meselL now
An have Tim do the swearing for me.
So many are thryng for pinsions
That thought that I'd thry it whack,
For somehow IN Topping the bounties,
Bedad, sor, hurted my back"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

Among the laws enacted by the
Forty. ninth Congress ior which com
mendation should he given. are the
Presidential Succession bill; the bill
regulating the counting Of the electoral
vote; providing for the issue of 81, 50
and So silver certificates; prescribing
the study in schools under Federal con-
troll; of the nature of alcoholic drinks
and narcotics; for the redemption Of
trade dollars, restoring to the public de-
minion 100000 acres of unearned
land grants; the Interstate Commerce
bill; the Anti-Polygamy bill; the Chi
nese Naturalization bill, and the
Fisheries Retaliation bill.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19
W HITE PINE NEWS
sATU RDAY MARCH 10, 1887
Money.

Hon. NJ. II. Slater, Secretary OF the
National BIZ Metallic Coinage Associa'
ton, in his valuable pamphlet, entitled
"A Brief Treatise on Bi.Metalllsm,
says: "The sum total of all the money
in circulation always bears certain
ratio to the sum total Of all the prop
erty in existence. This ratio is varl-
ouslv estimated; but. say, for example,
| to 81. If all the property In exist
ence should he forced to a cash sale,
at the same hour, this ratio would be
reduced until it would stand | to /.
The money would equal 10 amount
the necessarily reduced value of the
property.
The value that money represents is
fixed by law the value of the property
Is determined by the amount of money
in existence, which may be exchanged
for the property. Hence, money estab-
fishes, fixes, determines, assesses, esti-
mates the value of property. Note the
distinction between the terms, money
in existence and money in circulation.
Money which is boarded in vaults is
not performing its chief function as a
medium of exchange for values, nor
can it effect the value of property.
The boarded eagles of the miser can no
more perform the functions of money
than a prisoner in dungeon can per-
form the duties ola member efsociety."
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19
WIN Come to IL Before Long.

Elk Senator Hill of Colorado express
ses himself as follows, to New York
Tribune representative on the silver
question: The country is in favor OF
continuing the coinage of silver, and
Congress in refusing to disturb it has
simply obeyed the wishes of the
people. The volume Of the currency
is not keeping pace with the increase
ofbusiness. The difference will event
nally cause financial distress. The
production of gold is falling off and
we have only silver to rely upon. The
same condition of things prevails
largely over the entire world, and all
nations will be obliged to come to sill
yer before long.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

Irish Home Rule Is advancing in
Great Britain. Its latest phase is a
communi cation from the Leicester
Liberal Club, England, to the young
Irish girl who knocked down the bail
if with a shovel in the late Glenbeigh
eyictions, inclosing a guinea to her for
the possession of the shovel, that it
might be hung up in their clubroom
with green ribbon attached to it.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

The attitude taken of late by the
Catholic Hierarchy on the great labor
issues of the day is giving to that
church u vast influence among the
people of the United States. The re-
cent events at Rome constitute the
most remarkable adjustment of the
church policy to popular rights and
government that has occurred in mod
ern times.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

Our neighbor, the Phoebe Record,
Inns entered on its 33d volume. Like
most OF our contemporaries, the
Record has had hard fight for exist
ence during the past few years. We
hope better and brighter days are in
store for II.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

The 100000 appropriated by the
last Congress to provide arms and
equipments for the militia does not
become available until July /.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

Captain James B. Eads, the builder
of the jetties at the mouth of the Mis-.
sissippi, died at Nassau, New Provi.
dence, on March 8, of pneumonia.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1887-03-19

A large invoice of coal oil, cheap
or cash, at VineyEdward's.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
ELECTRIC BiTrERs.

This remedy is becoming so well
known and SO popular as to need no
special mention. All who have used
Electric Bitters. sing the same song Of
praise.-A purer medicine does not ex-
list and i is guaranteed to do all that
is claimed. Electric Bitters will cure
all diseases of the Liver and Kidneys,
will remove Pilnples. Boils, Salt Rheum
and other affections caused by impure
blood Will drive Malaria from the
system and prevent as well as cure all
Malarial fevers. For cure Of Head
ache, Constipation and Indigestion try
Electric Bitters.- Entire satisfaction
guaranteed, or money refunded.-Price
50 cts. and $500 per bottle at A. NJ.
Matthias drug store.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
NOTICE TO AGENTS.

New thing Goal pil utilized for
fuel. saves its cost every month. Sells
at sight, Agents wanted. Write for
terms at once, and We first in the field.
Climax / uel Cartridge Co., st.
Joseph, Missouri. 2454w
Beggs' Blood Pynder and Blood Maker.
No remedy in the world has gained
the popularity that this medicine has,
as a household or family medicine, no
one should be without it. 1t has no cal
omel or quinine in its composition,
consequently no bad effects can arise
from it. We keep full supply Of it at
all times. \. NJ. Matthias, Drnggisy
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
suck.en's Arnjca s;a,ve

The Best Salyeln the woriU for Cuts.
Bruises. sores, Ulcers, salt kheum,
Fever sores. letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns. and all Skin Erup-
tions. and positively cures Piles, Or nc
pay required. 1t IS guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refund.
ed Price % cents per box. For Sale b,
Dr. \. VI Matthias.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
COMMUNICATION.
107-tf


We are still alive but news are Troz-
en- up.-Another stray blizzard belong
ing up north passed through here last
Saturday enroute for the sunny aonth.
-Butchering seems to be the orGer Of
the day.-Eden Sunday School is talk
ing Christmas entertainment. Owing
to the two successive stormy Saturday
evenings, the Literary society has met
but twice this season. After the next
meeting woman will no doubt be al
lowed the right OF suffrage. II has
been suggested that questions Of the
day be discussed for the purpose OF
keeping posted on matters OF interest
The young people highly enjoyed d
social hop at Bert Jacobs last Thurs.
day evening Mr.. Eaton took trip tc
Woonsocket this week Mrs. Max
we'll took IA trip to the County seat the
latter part ol last week. Lepsidns.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
Begg's Cherry Cough Syrup.

Is the only medicine that acts direct
ly on the Lungs, Blood and Bowels, it
relieves cough instantly and in time
effects a permanent cure.
Oct. IS 3m A. NJ. Matthias Druggist.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
Beges' Cherry Cough svr-,,

Is warranted for all that the label
calls for, and if it does not relieve YOUR
cough you can cali at our store and the
money will be refunded to you. 1t acts
simultaneously on all parts OF the sys-
TEN thereby leaving no bad results.
Oct. 70 3nl A. NJ. Matthias. Druggist
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-12-09
THos. n. NULL,
Geo. NJ. Price,.
AUCTIONEER.

WESSINGTON SPRINGS, OAK
VIII CRY sales CT all kinds at any
time and place. Charges always rea-
sonablo.