The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-11
BRIGHT BITS.

THE musical composition, MARKINGS at Eve, -
is the first intimation that Adam was singer
Detroit EUery Saturday.
A SCIENTIST declares that rocking chairs make
people deaf and near-sghted. We have noticed
this, especially when two young people are in
the rocking chair.-7BurlingtOr Free Press.
WHAT did Adam and Eve wear before they
put on aprons:" asked the teacher. And after
a moments silence the new boy from Hardacre
Crosslots said "Nothin' but bathin' suits. y
Burdette.
COMPASSIONATE CLARA-Isn't it sad? Poor MIR.
Littlewit has gone out of his mind.
Satirical Saliie-I wonder he staid there as
long as he has. Awfully cramped quarters, you
know.-ChjcngO Tribune
BRowN-I saw you carrying home big water
melon yesterday, Robinson. Aren't they rather
expensive this early i'll the season?
Robinson-Very. Including the doctors bill,
that watermelon cost me about S17.-PlGck.
mo, Bobby said his mother, zone piece of
pie is quite enough for you" ITS funny re-
sponded Bobby, with an injured air, you say
| you are anxious that should learn to eat prop
| erly, and yet you won't give me chance to
| practice T'-Plic6.
A DOWNTOWN DEBATING CLUB is discussing
| ''Were the hills heaped up to make the valleys
| or were the valleys scooped out to make the
| hills?" Seven women and one man have already
resigned, and the Presidents hair is turning
white. Philadelphia CdH
81 SAY, stranger" whispered Western man,
| who had strayed in an uptown theatre where
| the play of Romeo and juliet was going on.
| II can't make head nor tail of this thing.
What's the name of this play, anyway
Romeo and Juliet"
We'll, il I'd known that" said the disguised
! Westerner X wouldn't have come in under
| stood the Teller at the door to say II was some
| thing about Omaha and oliet.'-Life.
OMAHA BRIDE-Dear me, you don't seem tc
| have the first idea about cooking.
| New girl-You see, ma am, haven't any one
| to show me. o. E
why don't know anything about it. You
| ought to know, you said you had had ten years
'Yes ma am, bnt I've always lived with young
married leddes like you, an every one ov' en-
was as big Ounce as you are about things
| Omaha World.
A LITTLE GIRL who recently completed hei
| seventh year was down town with her elder
sister the other day, and they entered store
| for the purpose of getting the junior pair Of
| overshoes. I'VE want some rubbers for this
child" said the lady. AT this the small mis-
| gave the skirt OF the others dress tug to at
| tract her attention, and exclaimed in an under
tone "Why don't you use big wOrds?n and ther
TO the gentlemanly shoe clerk, Il want pair Of
erasers. Buffalo Courier
GINrLEMIN'' exclaimed an Emerald Islander
| who was holding forth to an asSemblage of mel
on the advantage of belonging to a society o.
| which he was Observation-Disclosures couldn
begin to tell We half the privileges appertainin
to a membership in this society but III thry t.
tell we few. First, whn We are sick, it II not bt
| pertaters an tay yen be gittin', but foine cut
of roast bafe an lashins of the best whisky
! Mkt, whin We are dead yell have such a foin,
funeral that the folks on the sidewalk'l b,
afther askin', wild their eyes stickin' out lk
Holsters, 'Shure who's in the coffin? An
whin We are buried well take such exsadin' goot
care of your wives and children that they'll al
| bs reioicn' greatly because they're widders an
| orphans "-HdTDCT'S BdzdT.