Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-06-16
PlTH AND PoINE,

Once in peoples mouths. tits hard
to get out them. Glasgow Herald.
A woman will never put any
thing in her pocket that she can hold
in her mouth.
Most farmers like to smoke, and
still they are not fond of the weed
Burlington Free Press.
When a man is twenty-five he
knows something; when he is forty
five he wishes he knew something.
Boston Courier.
Among the Zulus young people
fight and get married. Here they
get married and fight-Teras Slft-
ings.
my motto is, Live and letlive,
said the soldier, as he turned his back
to the enemy and fled from the battle
field.
"A Hudson young man has been
arrested for ''pure laziness" and being
''drag" upon his father Kingston
Freeman.
Yes" said Fogg, 'tas a success I
have always been a failure; but as a
failure have been an unqualified sue
cess. "-Accideaat Nea0s
The mouth is the window to the
intellect. - Whitehall Times. The
trouble is, however, that too many men
are all window.
-Scene:- class. Dialogue
between teacher and Johnnie Teach
er-"What is the future of he drinks?'
Johnnie-'He is drunk"
When we realize with what CELEBRITY
goat can separate man from his sur
roundings, it is difficult to understand
why but should be called conjunc-
ton Yonkers Gazette.
An advertiser offers for sale a
''lounge hair-picker. The public
would like to know whether it will also
pick hairs off the shoulders of coatp
burlington Free Press.
There are a good many married
men in this world who know all about
what model wife should be, but who
have very hazy ideas about the compo-
nent elements of model husband
Mrs. Walspill-"Even the dress she
went to court in last year is not yet
paid for. Madame Fichu herself told
me so only yesterday" Miss Mann
stay-''Oh, my dear, that is Madame
Fichu's well-known way of reminding
her customers of their little outstand'
ing bills. Fun
Has Nature Struck
bonaot man is Naturess nObieSt work.
Once seen few hope again to see his like.
| In fact their scarcity makes some folks say
That Nature must be out upon q strike.
-SJtings.
"A little Indian girl said to hel
teacher:-''We have not prayed fol
the poor" Her teacher replied. -
.'Well, you pray for them" The hit
tie girl then said, 10 Lord, bless the
poor, and make them fat if you can!
Harper's Bazar:
A Chicago man has spent 49, 0Ot
in fitting up his sitting-room; and
when his sons get old enough it ii
probable that they will prefer to spend
half the night in the boys club-roon
containing a couple of seventy-fve
cent card-tables, half-a-dozen broken.
back chairs, and two-dollar -and-a
half stove. -NorristosC Herald.
Mamma (coaxingly) -''Come, Rob
by, take your medicine now. and theI
Jump into bed; that's good littl'
boy" Robby-'I don't want to tax
any medicine, ma" Father (wh'
knows how to govern children)-
':Robby, if you don't take your medi
cine at once, you will he put to BET
without taking it at all. "-Chtcag
Tribune.
A travelling theatrical company Q
seven members can convert themselve
into seventeen different persons-o
the progromme. Which is no NOR
remarkable than the fact that the vii
lain, who is shot full of holes and di e
in terrible sgony. appears five minute
later as his own son.--DrGEe's 2rdvet
ers' Magazine.
Among the Fashfonables-Ml
Swell (who has rented fashionabl
apartment house)-''We needn't b
ashamed of this. my dear" Mrs
Swell-"No, indeed; it is perfeett
lovely, and such fashionable lc
calityr' Mr.. Swen-'That's th
beauty of it. "And, now, my dear,
you will send Perkins out for loaf
bread and half pound OF butter W
will have something to eat N Q
Times Democrat