The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-26
BRIGHT BITS.

How to make Maltese crosby stepping on
its tail.-Jltdge.
A FULL HAND at poker often costs man more
in twenty minutes than his subscription to the
synagogue amounts to in year.-HebretO
Standard. ~ ..-- ,-f..
A VAssAR GIRL being asked by her teacher
what kind of O noun kiss was replied with a
blush that it was both proper and common
TerdS SiftingS
SLIMKINs-I notice that your friend Brown
seems to keep away lately. Had row?
Simpkins-No, he got me to indorse his note
rev days ago.-Ltfe.
A YOUNG MAN is apt to stammer and st,tter
when he declares his passion. Sometimes the
plying girl helps him out, and sometimes it is
her pitiless father.-Jouvnat Of Education
TRAvELER-One day, and only once, saw the
Mikado. 1t was at Toxic, and a sight it was.
Boston Lady-EXcuse me. cousin. But here
in Boston we hear operas Christian Register.
IT takes three weeks to perform the marriage
ceremony in Japan. Just think of it! 1t must
require at least an hour and half at that rate
for the bridegroom to kiss his mother-in-law -
Ne'cn'dn Independent.
GUs-what sort of figure has the Gushing
ton, Jack?
Jack-I haven't the faintest idea.
Gus-Why thought you had met her?
jack have, but she had on a tailor-made
dress-Neto York sun.
THERE is something curious about sun strokes
in Ohio this summer. Every time q man is
struck he takes all the money in the house and
sneakS Oft, and sometimes. he lis found several
hundred miles away and just welded to another
woman.-Detrott Free Press.
THAT is the last novel | shall ever read. -
said gentleman, throwing the book down in
disgust
Whats the matter, dear?" inquired his wife,
doesn't it end happily"
mo, they were married n--Hurper's Bagar
"PIANoFoRTE, through bereavement. offered
by installments." so ran an advertisement in
an evening contemporary. But we should doubt
If 1t will find speedy sale Nobody wants an
inStallment of q bereaved piano, except per
haps, for performance of the Lost Chord. -
London Globe t B.:
A CONCERT ROOM is often full ofcontradictious
for one will often find thirdrate man in "A "
an angry woman labeled ''B o. noble looking
man marked * s" and depressed-looking in
dividual with IL s" on his chair The box office
must be more careful in sorting an audience
Musical Herald, ,-.
TENOR who was Kissed for bad singing gave
this little speech to the audience: Ladies' and
gentlemen have a wife and five children to
support. Therefore, it is useless for you to hiss
me; for, being a good husband and father, |
shall be obliged to sing as long as l have
breath. French Paper.
Bessie?'
YES mamma"
,
saw his poor wife turned into pillar of salt?''
Il don't know, mamma; | 'spect he wondered
where he could get fresh one. Carl PretzeL
MISS PETTEM-Pretty Polly!
Polly Gmitatively)- Pretty Polly
Miss Pettem-You're sure the bird is a young
one?
ENTHUSIASTICALLY madam! He came from
Africa last May.
Polly Suddenly -Tippecanoe and Tyler, too
--oo!-oo!-PltcE.
Mr.. ToMPKINs (to Manager Snapshow, who
has just returned from Europe)-Did you have
pleasant trips
Snapshow-Oh, yes; but was very homesick
until reached Rome. 1felt oil right there.
Tompkins-How was that?
Snapshow-Why, spent two days in the cata-
combs, and the collection of dead heads there
made me feel as though was at home again.
Exchange.