The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-17
BRIGHT BITS.

THE coat-tail Irritation is the latest wrn
Killed. coat-tail bearing dusty toemarks, means:
II have spoken to your father. detroit Free
Press
"CAN the mind conceive of such thing as no
timeE' frenziedly asks the sceptcal reformer
Easily, man; easiest thing in the world. The
three days of grace is note time BjiIJhan,ton
Republican.
The streets of Canton are only three or four
feet wide and when a woman with a hustle on
gets into one of them, she has to go clear
through before she can turn around. -BulLing
ton Free Press.
On THE AvESUE-Professiona Beat: Dear
boy. glad to see you. Come and dine with me
to-day
Rich Friend-No, thanks. Tdsooner lend you
S2.-ToIcf Topics.
THE towels used in the Treasury Department
have the monogram ~. s. r. d. woven in the
centre OF each. 1t is supposed To stand for
Internationally Small and Terribly Dirty
Washington Critic.
HIGH OLD STYLE DAUGHTEB-Are my feathers
Mother with opera glasses)-I will see. Oh,
yes; they are all right, except one. put the
step ladder away, so that | can't fix il, but it
don't look SO bad, my dear.-MerchGnt Traveller.
Il HAVE friend said syracusan, who
paints grapes so naturally that birds leave the
real article to peek at the pictures"
'Oh, that's nothing" replied a Utican, 81
have cousin who reproduces dogs so well that
ing "-RocheSter Union.
DOCS are among the flowers that bloom in
the spring, remarked the snake editor.
What is the matter with you:' asked the
horse editor.
Nothing. This is the spring, isn't it,"
We'll, went into the woods yesterday and
found the dog would blossom. ''-PittSburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
CHICAGO GIRLr-Yes, indeed, Chicago is becom-
ing dreadfully literary. My brother wears a
Browning overcoat and Byron collars and we
girls have just formed a Sir Walter Scott Club
Omaha girl-Have you had any meetings?
only one so far. You see we concluded be-
fore beginning with his writings we would read
a sketch of his life, but found that would
take an awful long while and we feel quite dis
couraged."
81 should not think it would take long"
well, the librarian told US we would have to
read good deal Of American history in order to
understand SCOTS part in it. '-Omahd World.
"Oh, come where the cyanides softly flow,
And the carburets droop DER the oxides below;
Where the rays of potassium lie white on the
hill,
And the'song of the silicate never is still
Come, oh, come, tumpti-tum-tum,
Peroxide of soda and uranium.
"Where alcohols liquid at thirty degrees,
And no chemical change can affect Manganese;
While the alkalis flourish and acids are free,
My heart shall be constant, sweet science to
thee;
i eS. 10 Unee Huule-uum-Qee,
Zinc, borax and bismuth and H2Q1C"
Detroit Free Press
WE have prepared a set of notices for Dakota
business men, to be hung up in their Offices to
save talk and lubrcate matters generally. They
are neatly printed with type standing 10 inches
high, and well proportional, on heavy cardboard
of bright crushed yellow-dog tint. The set in
cludes the following:
Il am Not Out Here for My Health"
This is My Busy Day"
81 am Something of a Liar Myself"
81 came to the Territory the Fall Before you
did,
Funeral of the Last Agent at 3 p. M"
II am Raising Fund for Public Improve
ment Myself"
Yes, it is Very Hot Tor Cold (or Rainy Tor
Dry day"
Il also have Real Estate Wish to Sell"
Yes, Don't Care if do Step ont and Have
Something, Colonel. Dakota Ben.