The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-07-07

AN terolite weighing two tons fell in Indiana
the other day, and small boy who was hoeing
potatoes yelled with shrl excitement, 'Muffed."
Huntington Free Press.
ONE of those surly old bachelors that need
killing says that the reason why woman is
called duck" is because the dressing is better
than the bird.-Mil'cdHkee Journal
MANY young ladies seem entirely fitted for
legerdemain seances. They reject their lovers
so often that they become perfect in the art of
Straightforward. Hartford Sunday Journal
AN inquirer asks: should the young man
kneel when be makes the PROPOSAL" This in
quirer is evidently a poor specimen. He will
probably have TO get down on all fours and
grOvel-Puck.
II SAY, Fritz, did you see those boys stick out
Second student-"Yes, and it does me proud
They evidently take us for full-fedged doctors"
From the German in 1erns S1tin9s.
BLoBsoN Gndignant)-I declare, that band is
trying to play. ! would like to kick myself for
subscribing TO the thing.
Mrs B., rushing to the window-No, faint the
band. It's Sprigg's tin-peddler cart. The horse
is running Burlington Free Press
YOUNG MAN-Mr. Weeks, why don't you shin
gle your barn?
Old Farmer-'Cause it's rainin'.
Young MAXWELL, why don't you Single it
when it isn't raining?
Old Farmer-It don't need it then.-Life.
Mrs DE MulIoN-Horrors! Twill never have
my picture painted in hot weather again.
Friend-Why, it's splendid, dear
But the artist has painted the perspiration
and all
"Oh, see. You are looking at it in side
light, dear. That's only the reflection on the
paint. Omaha World.
Col. BowLEGs-Death and furiesl who has
been at my meersChaum?
Julius dhe colored servitor)-Aint seen no.
body handlin' it, sir
Col. Bowlegs-Confound it! it seems to be full
of debris.
Julius (alarmed)-Fore de Lawd, kunnel. l
confess smoked 'em, but I didn't use nothin'
but Lone Jack. wouldn't put no such stuff as
'daybree' in any gen1emans pipe.-PhitGdeL-
phiG Cali
DARLING, he whispered, as they were enter
ing her house after having attended the show at
the dime museum in full dress, why do you re-
semble this knob?N
With fltful smile she gave it up and, like
an interlocutor at a minstrel show, asked.
''Why?"
Because you are something to adore"
When she had colored up and coldly hurried
into the house. he realized he had Overdona it,
Washington HGciet.
for you as treasurer of this firm to shell out $40
TO the diSbursing agent.
Bagley-Meaning you, Susan?
Yes. William; wish to invade Eighth street
this afternoon"
"Confound it, what an unreasonable thing a
woman is! Only the other day bought you as
handsome q pOcRet-DOOK as q woman could
wish, and now you want money to put in it.
There don't seem to be much use trying to sat
isfy you. '-Phladelphid CAL.
WHY does the strong man tear
his hair
Why does he corrugate his
brow?
Why does he scowl
on all things fair?
Why does he act as in despair?
What is his trouble now?
The strong man has been on a
frolc,
And sad result, he now has collie
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Mrs. BoTTA-who was a Miss Lynch by the
way-is very fond of having literary people
around her She has ceased to receive large
assemblies during the hot weather, her recep-
ton to Miss NIurfree Charles Egbert Craddock)
and her sister being the last. Miss Murfree,
initiating Walt Whitman, who set the fashion of
a lion sitting to be admired did not rise from
her sofa She is unaffected and uupreteutious.
She was guilty of one pun the other night.
Somebody said what a blind life people must
live in Tennessee. You are tired of it."
She laughed and answered: Dull? When l
am in Tennessee, then see
She apologized. York Star.