The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-27
BRIGHT BITS.

| The birmingham Gazette gives currency to
the rather apocryphal story that Revivast Sam
Jones has been offered 5000 night for a
course of lectures. And yet there are people
who viii go on serving the devil at starvation
wages when the service of God brings such fat
stipends. Marlborough Time
SOME Lincoln gentlemen have disagreed as to
the relative merits of their babies and will sinh
init the matter TO arbitration. The umpire of a
base ball game will begin to think that he leads
secure and peaceful life when he sees the referee
of this baby show lodging the parents whose
babies got ieft-Lincolil Journal.
Il WISH THINGS was shared out evener" said
Cincinnati boy, watching the colored man at
the house opposite washing the sidewalk. His
fond mamma was about to command his SYM
pathy with the poor workingmen when he
astoniShed her by adding with emphasis: Then
we could have a colored man and hose ~
Tie Epoch
REGULAR CUSTOMER disposed to be facetious)
Guess you will have to trust me for the paper
until J-norrow.
Clerk-Oh, that's all right, sir
Customer-But suppose was killed between
now and tomorrow?
Clerk-Well, the loss would not be much, sir.
Philadelphia Netcs.
AL I've got TO say about the paper is that
the editor is getting terribly dull, " said an old
subscriber.
You think the editor is getting dull, do your"
reioined the occupant of the splint-bottomed
editorial chair.
Yes sir do, most emphaticcIy"
We'll, I'll call up the next SCISSORS grinder
that comes along. Merchant Traveller.
YouNG SIMPKNs (who is spending his weeks
vacation at n Saratoga hotel)-Waiter, for the
fourth time will you bring me that
Waiter-Say, mistah. hain't got no time ter
fool wild you deed hain't. It's gettin mighty
late in de season, an every minutes oh walne
ter me. Ise got all | kin do ter tend ter my cash
customers. Now don't bodder me no more an
III be 'sponsble fer yer weeks board.-71d-
Bits.
HEAVY wAsHrUB full of suds slipped off a
Hester street fire escape the other afternoon
and landed. contents and all, on the shoulder of
a passing stranger. He picked himself up,
pulled his trousers away from his skin to keep
them from sticking, and remarked to a police
man: That amt so much of a hailstone, but
burned + | ever see 'em come single afore."
where are you FROM" asked the officer.
"Brule City, Dakota" was the reply.-7Id-
Bits.
"DIp you hear my sermon yesterday" asked
"A Lincoln clergyman of one Of his congregation.
mo; I'm sorry to say that ! didn't go to
church yesterday. What was your sermon
aboutg"
About Joseph going down into Egypt to buy
well. that may be all right as a text, but if
Joseph had read the official crop report he'd
have gone 90 Nebraska for corn Nebraska
state Journal.
sHREwD and kindly old gentleman who il
an acute observer o. life. and who phrases the
results Of his observations and reflections with
"a good deal OF iersenssS, vas recently consulted
by the anxious mother OF one spoiled baby, in
relation to works on parental discipline
Can you tell me-" she said, ANY real good
trcatise for bringing up children l want the
very best"
"The best that know. " the old gentleman re.
piled succinctly. "is family Of six. - Boston
Courier.
WHAT'S the nationality OF themf" said a tall
woman with determined eye, as she pointed
her plrnsOl az the elephants IN the circus which
recently exhibited at Sioux Falls
African, num-" replied the man In atten-
dnlre
Awful lightcOlOred for coming from Africa
seems 90 me. continued the determined eyed
woman. Aud wee here. you just tell the own.
rrs Oi this SHOW thai say tbmk they've got a I
Iii gliy poor lOf 81 ealneia All Of nu single
bumped rKcsp| one. When pas 5lc. cash Tor
myself aud ~ ~ for the children 90 get lh / /
haH - So dOuY'e bumpers and less haF rub 1
bed ~ ~ 'eln round Ia spite You lnAt tell em
NAai / cay DIitanu bcu