Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-04-21
A coNJuGAL CAUCUS.

Midnight Conversation Between q Fash.
ionabIe Wife and Her Democratic Hus.
band.
Mrs Thompson-Are you asleep,
Mr. TP
Mr.. Thompson (hesitating1v)-N
Mrs T.-Prof. Catgut's bill for Ara
bella's first quarter
| Mr.. T.-Humph! How much?
Mrs. T.-Why, my dear, you know
his terms as well as L Sixty dollars
for twelve lessons
| Mr.. THE dev-deuce, meant
It's the first I heard of it!
| Mrs. T.-Oh, you've forgotten. !
| told you all about it.
Mr.. T.-You told me awhile ago that
| you wanted Belle to brush up her music
| a little.
| Mrs. T.-Yes; and you said very well.
! MIR. T.-And on the strength of that
| you engage a professor at FIVE dollars
a lesson! Why, Maria, you'll drive me
TO the poor-house!
Mrs. Tive heard that before.
Mr.. T-And never see Belle open the
piano, either.
Mrs. TIT isn't the piano; it g the
| violin.
Mr.. T.-Violin TT
Mrs. 7. (calmly)-Yes; don't rouse
the household. The piano is so very
common.
Mr.. T.-Indeed!
Mrs. T-Yes; it is 50 much more eff
fective to have some unique musical &C.
complishment-like playing the violin,
either or banjo.
Mr.. T.-Banjo! Good gracious! \
suppose I ought to be grateful for
the violin if it has saved me from the
banjo.
Mrs. TT thought seriously of the
banjo. but Arabella's. arm is so lovely,
7 decided in favor of the violin.
Mr.. T.-Well, it strikes me Belle
shows her arm enough every night.
without going to an expense of sixty
dollars to further display it.
Mrs. T.-Oh, you don't understand,
Mr.. T.-No; only pay.
Mrs. T-And while we are on the
subject of money
Mr.. tt don't know when we're
Off
Mrs. tt really think you might in
crease Towards allowance.
Mr.. T.-Well. now, I like that! He
has two thousand five hundred dollars
a year, and lives at home.
Mrs. tt know and it has done
| very well so far:
Mr.. T.-Oh, has it (?
Mrs. T-But this summer he wants,
to play polo at Newport.
Mr.. T.-Oh, does. he +?
Mrs. T.-Yes,; he is great expert
now.
Mr.. T.-Oh, is he?
Mrs. T.-And he wants his own.
ponies.
Mr.: T.-Oh, does hee
Mrs. TT think (sobs) you are very
unkind Cso6s) to talk in that way (sobs).
You have no interest (sobs) in the well
fare and happiness (so6s) of your chill
dren.
Mr.: Tt looks as if hadn't, in
deed, to keep them in the luxury and
idleness in which they are living.
Mrs. T. (still tearfuD Well, what
can you expectf
Mr.. Tt wasn't brought up So. L
worked hard for my daily bread.
Mrs. T.-You hadn't rich father.
Mr.. T.-(with grim umor),-That's
SO! Perhaps it isn't their fault.
Mrs. T.-You see the children, have
got to live up to their station.
Mr.. T.-Humph!
Mrs. IA sort of saoblesse o6lige.
Mr.. T.-Stick to English, my dear,
catch your meaning quicker.
Mrs. T.-And Howard is sure to mar
ry splendid1y. He is so handsome.
Mr.. T. (facetiously)-Yes-a, chip OF
the old block.
Mrs. There is no doubt that
Clara Kniekerbocker is greatly taken
with him.
Mr.. Tim. he might do worse.
Mrs. T.-Worse indeed! Why, they're
one of the oldest families, and rich into
the bargain.
Mr.. T-Quite rare combination.
Mrs. T.-Arabella's prospects are not
quite so flattering. The dear girl is so
fastidious.
Mr.. T.-Belle is little fool.
Mrs. T.-Why, how can you say so.-
Mr.. T.-Because it is so. Fastidious,
indeed. Do you know the way she
judges young man?
Mrs. TT know that her standards
very high.
Mr.. It's itP Well, at the Law.
renee dance the other night, young
Brown took her down to supper-a nice
likely young fellow
Mrs. T.-But hardly Arabella's style.
Mr.. T.-And when I asked her. at
breakfast. how she liked him. she
said: .'Pretty well, but o, Papa. did
you notice he put his napkin on both
kneesp"
Mrs. T.-She is so ultra-refined.
MIR. Ultra fiddlesticks! Another
young man wore. ill-ftting gloves, a
third let his hair grow in an ugly way
at the back of his neck, and 50 on
Mrs. T.-My dear, you don't under
stand girls.
Mr.. my dear, dom s.want to-.
Mrs. T.-Yon ought to be very proud
of Arabella-
Mr. TT am-she has a. lovely arm.
Mrs. T.-And to strive, to establish
her well in life
Mr.. T.-What shall Rdop Advertise
for man who wears his napkin over
one knee only, whose, gloves are. made
to ORDER. and