Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-26
BRIGHT BITS.

A PHILADELPHIA paper asked: is there a
wife IN the city to-day who makes her hus-
oands shirs?' The following answer was
received by return mail: 81 DO. but he won't
wear en-. -Bu't'1l9to7t Free Press.
A NOTICE posted in certain town reads
cash paid for butchers hides" This shows
the accommodating spirit of The age. bone
factory announces that FARMERS can have
their bones ground and returned the same
day ."--Ne1o O,LeGuS PlcdyWtte.
AMATEUR ARTIST Ito friend Its rather
an ambitious subject, Charlie. 1 call 1T THE
Gathering of the HOste.'
Friend-What does that big block of eagles
signify, Fred, or are they vultures?
Amateur artist faintly)-Neither, Charlie;
they axe angels.--Lue.
AFTER the accident: She.Were you hurt
much, MIR. De Doodle?
Mr.. de D.-Aw. Miss Claiwa, l was, aw,
knocked serseless, don't yeu know.
She-Oh, Pm so glad you escaped. They
told mo you had been injured.
Mr.. do d. wonders what she means Wash
angtQn Cratic.
WILL you trust ne, Fanny?" he cried !,
passlonately grasping her hand.
"Wlth ali my heart, Augustus, with all
my soul. with all myself" she whispered,
nesting on his manly bosom.
would to heaven you were my tailor" he
murmured in soto v0ce, aud tcnderly he
took her TO his arms - Washington Urit}c.
MAMMA-What's the mgter. BERTHE I
thought you'd stay and play with Tommy
Carroll all the afternoon.
Bertie-Tommy amt got no fun in him.
Mamma-He hasn't?
Bertle--No; we was playin' house, and
every time hit him with the whip he yelled
don't want cry-baby around me.-7ld-
Btts.
DO you never have any social gatherings
hereY" sad a Northern man who was on
visit to Arkansas.
"0h, yes. We have boss races. log rollins,
dog fights and shootin' matches"
II mean hops and soirees."
You bet. We have ter hop round and
saw rail timber as much as anybody. ''-Go0d-
aus Sun.
"WHAT is the leading branch In your
school?' asked lady of a teacher.
Before the teacher could vOuchsafe a reply
a little boy interrupted the conversation
with:
"Iknoww
And what is it, lutte boy?" asked the lady.
That switch in the corner, 'am."-Cark
PtefsePS Weekly.
OMAHA HUSBAND-Now / think this ia 20
ing too far. You promised me you would
cOuntermand your order for that dress
Omaha Wife, wrote to the firm that very
day.
"But here is the dress and the bill for it
enough TO bankrupt me almost. How do you
exp ain that?'
Il gave you the letter to mail and | sup
pose you torRot 1t as usual Omaha WogEd.
SELF-REsPECTING CITIzEN-I am in favor
OF an indignation meeting to denounce the
ballet.
Ordinary Cltzen-My dear sir, why this
antipathy?
because it is vicious, indecent, immoral,
disgusting, braZen''-
GOOD gracious! | never detected anv of
those things when l saw It,"
possibly not, j have never seen it, there
fore speak with confidence. -PhilddeIphia
OdX.
OMAHA CHGLD-What's the reason barber,s
poles look like sticks OF mint candy. papa?
Omaha Papa-ln the oldeA time people
thought they must have some of their blood
| let out when sick. and BARRIERS were the snr-
geons. The red stripe on the pole therefore
represents the blood and the white stripe the
| bandage.
But what do they use the same kind Of
poles now for?''
We'll. nowadays the white stripes repre-
sent the lint which the barber plasters on the
cuts after shaving. "-O0udAa W0rLd.