Telegram-herald., 1887-06-12
WIT AND HTNOR.

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sork 1sr . hzfls laoAe9 tnss gsE1e a
yeaf. he esfees ssasoa Aas eens@
sgzsn. -5ssa A1css As14
a Louisxilse mzn has b@ea snperia-
teLtssAf Il ; eazsa aT-se aesi foE thlrty
Feers. AMI his bsssllless fElen@s are
sl1eAlAg him CLOSELY .--Pe<k.
Tie word .-jugalztes has becons
eHrxeHt IL Western joaraAiis1a fe-
lesazsn are mere APT "a lug-y yoa-lzte
than snF ether Glass II aAsn--Aese
Aesea Aee&
As exehauge has az article On The
Rise ana Ezll of the Poet. OAe In
p0EtsEt tolat Is omitted, AoveFer, and
that u lhe lsAxth of ths st4irs--bsr-
langfoa Free Press.
What's the trouble here. Miekey"
.-Dcas you knows There's a street
ear fis-up. %. see That's Why 50
m4BY people are standing around in
Knots. - PaiEaaelp phsa CaiL
Young wife-I took great pains with
that cucumber salad. John, and l hope
you enjoyed IL Husband (anri0usly)
-Tm afraid. my dear. that took
ttS1t ksi1S Win ~ eoo- f|f~
sun.
We don't question the statement
that George Washington never told
lie, but he certainly Was never asked
by fond mother what &c thought Of
her cute little baby. - Bashsagtos
Critic.
20. Ella" said clara. II think Lily
and her beau have quzrreled. why"
replied Ella, what makes YOU think
SOP" We'll. her parlor has been bril-
liantly liz every evening lately. "-Aeso
York Safl-
Mrs. Brown - How elegantly that
dress tits you, What a pity the ma
terial is so cheap, Mrs. Jones-The
goods in your dress are really superb.
What a pity it doesn't lit you.-Har-
per's Bazar.
Some Of the tip-top in society say
s.the low-necked dress must CO."
They will please say which way il
must 90. in time TO warn those who
wish 10 take 10 the woods before il
goes lower.-Nstc Orleans PIeayttne.
Hark, What's that? That? That's a
brass band. What are they out for
tonight, | wonder? Out To get the
air, OF course. And. by the way. /
should think from the sound that they
hadn't found it yet--LosccH Citizen
Only girl who has run typewriter
AT 81 per week and finally marries her
employer can enter a dry-goods store
and paralyze lady clerk receiving So
per week. Its no use for a million
aires wife to Try it. - Detroit Free
Press.
How is it I find you in prison. my
man?" .'It was a mistake. sir, that
brought me here-indeed, might say
a blunder." How SOP" Il only stole
a thousand dollars when / could just
as easily have taken $4,000. Pitts
burg Dispatch.
A book agent who invaded the King
dom of King Mwanga of Africa was
captured by order of his Majesty and
quartered into seventeen pieces. The
agent was selling fashion magazine,
and the King has Zoo wives.-Norris-
toi0n Herald.
Wife of a rich rural Californian at
her first grand dinner. The Colonel
offers his arm: Il am to have the
pleasure of taking you out to dinner,
Mrs. A" Rich rural wife: ''Go long
with you; my husband is here; take
your own wife ut.'-Puck.
80, Charley" she exclaimed, "what
beautiful arbutus. and did you really
pick them YOURSELF" Yeds," said
Charley. Il bickkd 'em bysef, BECAUSE
l thaughed you'd prige 'em bore than
If / boughd 'em AL (chew-hasp-k'-
cheml eggschuge beD horidt's. ."-Neao
York sun.
Lily secretary of the cooking class)
Now. girls, we've learned nine cakes,
two kinds OF angel food, and seven
pies. What next? Susie (engaged)-
Dicks father says must learn to bake
bread. Indignant chorus = Bread?
Absurd, What are bakers for?-Pitts-
burg Bulletin.
Texan-Yes. mebbe you wouldn't
think it, but / made my pile out
OF watered stock. New orker 4
shouldn't Judge SO from your appear
ance. Texan-No, perhaps not; but
you can't expect to make much out of
the creeturs if you let EN- 90 thirsty.
-Ne0 Haren NescS.
A crowded horse-car. Enter Mrs.
Mulcahey. with a jug. Mr. Mahoney.
who is seated, facetiouslv - Wud /
hould the whisky fur yez, Mistress
Mulcahey? Mrs. NJ with whitening
sarcasm) Thank yez kindly, sor, but
We have all We can hould now, I'm
thinking. Argus.
"Have you 'Isours of Idleness' here2"
the maiden asked. as she sauntered in
to the secondhand book store ''No.
we haven't miss" said the youth be-
hind the counter. The boss is an old
ssunfint, and when we amt doing any
business he keeps us dustiug the
books. "-BostoD Courier.
'Ahl what's this?" exclaimed the
intelligent compositor. "'Sermons in
stones. books in the running brooks?
That can't be right. | have it, He
means Sermons in books, stones in the
running brooks That's sense" And
that is how the writer found il. And
yet he was not happy.-BOston Tran
script
Two laborers met upon street cor
Ber and one of them with kindly In
terest said: How are you doing. Pat?'
20. finely. man. never did better in
my life. What are you working at?'
20. I'm a real-estate conveyancer."
''And what in honor's name il that2"
why. I'm driving dumP-oart, man"
Boston Bsdget.
Il is related in Buffalo. y Y. that
faithful workman who had injured his