The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1887-01-15

Some Of the Clever Things said Apropsl
OF Dining.

oAsTRoNoMic SAYINGS.
some Of the clsvsr Things ssid Aprops1
OF DinIng.
George /. while ON . journey to Han.
over stopped at village inn in Hol-
land, and while the horses were getting
ready ordered two or three eggs to be
brought to him. for which the host
charged him two hundred forms.
"How is this'" said the King; "eggf
must be very scarce at this place to
bring hundred forms apiece. -
Pardon me. your Majesty" said the
host, "eggs are plentiful enough, but
Kings are scarce" The King smiled
at the fellows wit and ordered the bill
to be paid.
Lord Norbury, the Irish judge. was
once dining at a table, AMI corned
beef forming one of the dishes he was
asked ifhe would try slice. II would
try it, he said ''if it were hung
Curran, who was present. rep lied: IF
you were to try it. Judge. it would be
sure to be hung"
/ A gentleman at table being requested
to carve a dish before him, which
chanced to be loin Of mutton, took
up the carving knife, asking: .'Shall
cut it saddlewisep" "You had bet
ter cut it bridlewise," replied ono Of
the guests. for then we all may get q
bit in our mouths.'
Sir Nicholas Bacon being once, in
the capacity of Judge, about to pass
the sentence Of death upon culprit.
the fellow importuned him to save his
life, alleging, among other things, that
he had the honor OF being q relation of
his Lordship. 'sHow do you prove
that?" said Sir Nicholas. my Lord, y
replied the man. ssyour name is Bacon
and mine is Hog, and hog and bacon
have in all ages been reckoned akin"
THAT is true," answered the Judge,
'sbut hog is never bacon till it is hung,
and therefore, until you are hung, you
can be no relative of mine"
A youth who had studied logic and
philosophy at Salamanca had returned
to his home, and, being seated at sup
per. his father said to him: 'sWen.
my son. l suppose you have learned
enough of medicine to euro folks and
law to plead for themp" s.No, father,
/ have not learned these, but / have
learned philosophy and am consum-
mate master Of logic. y s'Whatis thati"
why, logician is one who can make
something out of nothing; for example,
here on this dish, you will observe, are
two chickens; of these by my art can
easily make three" s.How?" said the
father. s.Simply by adding the two on
the dish two this one (picks mp one of
them); two and one. you know, make
three" Every true.'' said the old
man. "Your mother and 1 will take
these two and you may have the other
rs reward for your logic
Poggio. the Florentine, tells MS that
Z;sca, the great and victorious re-
former of Bohemia, was blessed with
such an exquisite palate that, when
asked what share of the gastronomic
plumber would please him, replied:
1.-The cobwebs-give me only the cob
webs which hang from the roofs Of the
farmers houses These cobwebs. !"
however. turned out to be hams. gam
mons, sausagas and pigs cheeks for
which Bohemia was always celebrated.
Quin's noted epicureanism and brutal
wit are well illustrated BY the following
anccdote which history asserts to be
strictly true: He was invited to dine
with = celebrated Duchess who had
adorned the court of Queen Anne, and
whose protection Of prosecuted wits
had justly rendered her famous
While seated at table she had helped
herself-thc story goes--to the leanest
part Of haunch of venison which stood
before her. Quin watched her for
moment in surprise, and then burst out
with: what! and does your Grace
eat no fat?" mot of venison, sir. !"
said the Duchess. Never. my ladyp"
Never. Iassure YOU" This admission.
in the eyes of Quin, seemed the hight
of barbarism. and. forgetting even the
bounds of decency, he exclaimed.
well! l love to dine with such fools!''
CHICAGO Tribune.