The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-06-02

The Merry Side !

when he tapped his red nose.
Never compare a woman to picture. A pic
ture's value depends upon its age.
-
Democratic lawyers are holding their breath
There's vacant Supreme Judgeship.
|
Unfortunately, the Interstate Law does not
increase the rate of tramping the cross-ties.
Too many religious "for Christ's
sake'-and ten per cent. interest on loans.
| Gov. Foraker has taken pains to deny a
Frank Gessner interview. Why, Governor!
Maj. Goodspeed seems to be making Good
speed toward the peniteatiary or the gallows.
Rosser says Sheridan was cruel. 1t a
little rough to make Rosser's horse run so hard.
| -
Cincinnati has struck gas at depth OF q little
over two hundred feet. Probably tapped an
old beer-vat.
-.
Never be discouraged at the jeers ofthe W orld.
Serpents will run out their tongues and hiss at
the best of men.
A mans thoughts should be at least as pure
as his garments. Can you respect man with a
dirty shirt on?
When the political boodler said he was
''abreast of public opinion" he was nursing at
it for livelihood.
This is the time of year when the camp-meet-
ing speculator begins to grieve over the wicked
ness of the world.
"The Republicans are going to form Ma
tional League" Hope they'll bat the Democ-
racy all over the field.
IfBen Perley Poore survives the present at
| tack of illness, he should hasten to get that
colon out of his name.
| a man who tries to stay public opinion, is
like the man who tries to stop railway car by
| pushing on the inside.
| What the world needs is an ocean wide
enough for two steamships to pass in, without
knocking each other to pieces.
Goodspeed sits in Court pretending that he
doesn't see anything about him. But he does
He sees great big, ugly scaffold
-
Gen. Keifer's residence in Springfield was en-
tered by burglar one night last week. Has
Halstead been away from home?
O'Brien is taking on experience, with the
Canucks. If his head the brickbats don't
give out, he'll collect fine store of it,
We oppose the liquor traffic because it is
wrong. Will any man give us permission to
say he is in favor of it because 1t is right?
Canada wants to be annexed to the United
States Mr.. Cannuck, you'll have to quit brick
batting Irishmen before we'll take you in.
AT Winfield, Kansas, four railway trains were
~sI1I;
if there had been any more trains in reach.
The Queen went around to see Buffalo Bill's
"Wild West" Show, in London. 1t reminded
Her Majesty SO mnch of a session of Parliament.
If school teachers want to get at the ability of
the graduate, let them require graduating
essays to contain not more than twenty lines.
The Interstate Commerce Law has ruined
an Ohio paper. The freight is so high it couldn't
have its original boiler-plates shipped from
Cincinnati.
Public Improvements the Standard opposes
A tobogga1 slide for Jackson, pool-rooms SOL
the robbing of boys, and steam navigation of
Salt Greek.
We heard .aan boasting al will stand by
the Dow Law-that's my Republicantsm." We
knew he lied. We knew he'd vote the Copper
head ticket before he'd do it,
+x+
A Jackson couple engaged in rough-and-
tumble fight in a room where grand-child
was being born. What spride of ancestry
there will be for the little one.
In the National Drill the Southern Com panies
refused to march behind the Virginia "piggers,"
and marched off to doggery and took drink
all around-to show their superiority over the
sober, industrious colored men.
There is talk of setting up Don Carlos upon
a throne in Mexico" says a dispatch. They
have a way over there of setting pretenders up
in front of file of soldiers.
The Cincinnati Law School has sent out
seventy-five graduates already, this year.
Enough to teach law to all the old lawyers i'm
the State.
The Republican State Convention will have
seven hundred and twenty-three delegat es.
Hamilton county will be satisfied with seven
hundred. if the balance of the State can make
of the twenty-three.
The Philadelphia Press says 'sthe murder of
Gambrell, in Mississippi, recalls the methods
by which Grover Cleveland was placed in the
White House." And the same method is being
used to place the liquor power in control of the
Govern ment.
The man who can run a lawn mower in high
grass without profanity, belongs TO the same
Sunday School class with the man who plowed
in new ground without "cussin."
The capacity for work of some men is re-
markahle. Two three young men in Gin
cinnati write all the editorials and half the
locals for half the county papers of Ohio.
+.-
The New York Herald wants Cleveland and
Watterson Presidential ticket. Ifyou want
to do something funny, make it Randall ard
Watterson.
Two Pennsylvania women have sued the
Government for money loaned to carry on the
Revolutionary War. The man who furnished
supplies to Chris. Columbus hasn't been heard
from yet.
Speaking OF the National Drill, and the Presi-
dents prohibiting saloons on the grounds, the
Courier-Journal couples these two sentences:
"Tne boys will all carry canteens." "Ken-
lucky will send the biggest delegation
Watterson says of Tennessee ain State
where newspapers can be bought by blast fur
naces, a mans breeches are not safe" Yes, but
II u "dnu iOi Idilu, ho1DS
able to own the breeches.
Republicans howl, up at Columbus, that
when the Democrats went out of power they
left no money in the Treasury. Well did you
expect them to abandon their Democracy when
they abandoned their offices.
Confederate Gen. Rosser stigmatizes Phil.
Sheridan as 'cowardly." Rosser saw Phil. run,
once, in the Shenandoah Valley. Rosser was
looking over his shoulder.
Some DaYtan officials had big hurrah at
CleYeland's expense, over the passage over his
veto of the public building bill. Now these
same officials are trying to find their District.
Sullivan Eays he sEwont night till he gets