Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-01-05
BRIGHT BIIS.

LEADER Ito Mr.. Jones. who has been H.
ylted TO sing IN the choir on the strength of
rnmor OF sluilar metropolitan experiences
Mistah Jones, II GU piease kerry de air try
de Dasso on dis gloriah.
Mr.. Jones-I pr'vides de air TO- no ones
SOLO. UnersLan'. sah, | didn't come heah in
lie Caprasity OBJ orgdn-blUwer AM doan'
~ rate de Fellows for no one, If yO' please
HdrDe,'s Bdsdr.
PRINCETON BARTENDER ito young man
who is pouring out a big drink)-How's
classics?
Young Man-How's what?
Princeton Bartender-Classics. Amt you
one OF the college young gents?
Young Man Qndignantlyl-Not much. Pm
representing one OF the largest hardware
houses in New York. What makes you think
I'm q student
Princeton Bartender-The size of that
drlnk.-Nea1 York Sun.
my SON." said good Vermont mother to
her son, VINO W as home on a visi-. as she was
watching the unpacking of his trunk, what
have you got there?"
"NoChing much, mother" replied prodigal,
except sundry and divers articles Of wearing
apparel"
"Iou don't wear anything out of that big
bottle. hope?'
"Yes, mother; that bottle CONTAINS night
caps" SAID the visitor, land l wear them to
make my hair curl"
Oh"'-A rkdnSds TrGUetsr.
"DAN'L," said the President, as he nursed
well If ! coined phrase to express my alb
hOrrence of rheumatism"
by all means, sire it would help the COM
mon people bear the trouble better"
"Well. Dan'l, as lay awake asst night
thought of tn S: rheumatism is the pernicious
climax of joint and prostrating debate
How Will that do?'
''Not quite up to your average, sire; but
hen your rheumatism is far above the aver
tge, ana this evens things. "-E0t,sjng Record.
REV. T. DEWITT TALMAGE tells very good
tory of himself and adds to its humor by
outing in those wild gestures for which he is
amDus.
There was a man in my parish" he saws
whom was anxious to have join my church.
and who had a habit of looking upon the wine
when 10 W as red, One day Il happened to meet
Inn just in front Of the church and stopped
and SD Ike to him.
"Haveyou decided to join the church?'
I've thought shome " It, but
"'Why what is the matterY
"'Well, UT been thinkin' bout jolnin' yer
church, n the longer ur shink owl the sicker
r feel, b. goshn "-Ne9o York StGr.
AS woman standing all alone
l humby hope 30 shine;
I'm tired of the dreary twaddle
OF the oak and the ivy vine.
Pve seen too many instances
Where. natures law declining,
The vine did the supporting
While the oak did all the tWinng
Before I'd marry man and work
For his bread and my own;
Before I'd marry a man who'd place
Hi aself upon the throne
Aud claim from me, his better half
Allegiance blind and mute,
I'd marry the merest ape and wait
For him to eVolute.
-Wonadsa's Journal
"AND do you love me as well as ever, John ?"
the wife asked of her somewhat testy hus-
and, after they had made up subsequent 10
what is usually termed "a little spat"
why, of course do, and better"
Are YOU sure, darlingf"
.'Sure? nf course am. Hang 1t, don't I
tell you soP''
Yes, out you are not deceiviug me?',
Certainly not. What do you want to AZ
gravate a man for?''
IL am not aggravating YOU"
Yes you are, and tell you plalnlv that I
| love you madlv. and II you ask me that oues-
! ton again I'm blessed il l don't 90 ont and
| stay out altogether. l love you dearly. and
| now shut up, or 1t will be worse for you Ask
| ing me il love YOU when / do to dietractlonl
Get out, you idiot! You are nothing but a
| darned fool, anywayn
Wife subsidies, nightly delighted.-Boston
| Courier,