Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-03-10
The Before Breakfast Fiend.

lou nay SHI0IV IeaV0 the resi-.
The Before Breakfast Fiend..
Edna Miller Shelrakes advice, as given
III Good Housekeeping, on the subject of
exercising the before breakfast fiend,"
will be appreciated by most housekeepers.
And difficult as the early breakfast may
be, We think it must be admitted as worth
trying for, because Of its good influence
on these troublesome spirits:
Family jars and discords, hastv words
and actions, hard uncharitable feelings,
how, many [ wonder, terminate before
breakfast? Indeed, one would not be far
short of the mark, in my opinion, to say
that one-half the divorce cases in the
courts had never appeared there, had the
parties been in the habit of breakfasting
one-half hour earlier. One can, with COM
parative equanimity, wait for the sound
of a dinner bell Or gong. What matter
if supper is late? But to wait for ones
breakfast-never! A feeling of resentful
outrageousness and of being used bad in
general takes possession of the average
human creature at this crisis. Bitterness
fills the soul, and one is led to behave in a
manner that is astonishing-afterb break
fast.
[ do not attempt an EXPLANATION of this
phenomenon, nor TO reason why an empty
stomach is more than an empty stomach;
| call upon your experience to cOrroborate
my statement. It is my private but firm
belief that the great enemy of mankind
sends forth the widest OF his emissaries
thus early in the morning, when man, and
woman; too, is in q cOmatose state, slyly
creep into their hearts before they are
sufficiently wide awake to resist their
attacks.
Once let one of these before-breakfast
fiends find q lodging. and, my word for
it, he will prove good tenant, Lor will
he be outed the day. Some people will
facetiously tell you, in the event of your
possessing this small ledger, that you got
up on the wrong side, or some such non
sense. AS proof that it is little devil
in you, let me assert that you invariably
get vexed, and your ill-humor is increased
tenfold by such harmless remarks.
No one escapes these small imps-nOt
even the children. Somtimes I think
that, seeing the innocents so helpless and
UNDERSTANDING, they enter and operate
with hilarious glee upon their smull souls
(which is certainly taking unfair adyant-
age), insemuch. as I have seen a most
charming, cooling, placid, altogether de-
lightful infant transformed into a squall-
ing, bawling, don't-touch-me brat!
Their efore, in view of these conscious
facts, it behooves US who hold the reins
of the household charriot-or cart, as the
case may be-in our hands, to shorten
the existence of these efore-breakfast
fends by having early breakfast. Of
course I do not mean to say that you
should promptly tinkle your bell at 4, s.,
6, Z, or o'clock. The hour at which the
meal is served is subservient to the
pleasure and business of your household;
but whatever the hour at which your
household rise, see 20 it that the morning
meal Is served soon after. No matter
whether your husband goes to shop, Office
or store; whether he breaches, doctors,
edits, the time before breakfast is so
much time wasted. He can settle to moth
ing, he fumes; the man frets to be off;
he champs, he saws the bit until he is off.
Go leisurely about your dinner; daily, if
you please, about your supper; do any
thing, but as you value your household
peace, get breakfast! and be quick about
it, too!
First, prepare as far as possible over
night. The fire can be laid, the coffee
ground, the table can be set, with mos
quito covering thrown over, if you think
the first insufficient protection. Have
the tea kettle emptied the night previous.
If cold potatoes are to be cooked they
should be peeled. Have everything laid
ready to your hand. This presupposes
that the mistress is maid also. If you
have servants the same tactics can be
pursued. Now, to be in hurry does not
mean careless, sloyenly, toielet. Heav-
en- forbid! Make yourself as neat and
pretty in as short time as possible, then
proceed about your business with cheer
alactrity.
Also remember this before breakfast
fend is alert. and on the watch. The
fire won't burn! He draws near, expect
ant. Don't get excited-look him square
in the face, address him thus: "Ah! there
You are! know you, you see! Trying
to put me in temper about poor
senseless fire, are you? But you won't I'll
lay these kindlings so and SO, I'll
strike another match;-there! see how
BEAUTIFULLY she burns!" Meet him in this
way and he will retreat ANONYMOUSLY;
probably leave the house altogether. But
If he should still hang around and event
ually find an ingress into some member
OF the family, don't stop to reason, argue
or persuade; all will be so much good
breath thrown away; but hurry, hurry,
hurry!