Los Angeles daily herald., 1887-07-25
WILD BILL OF KANSAS.
killing Two Soldiers but Hesi-
tating at n Monkey.

lt a IfhOAshGys
"Wild Bill was good shot, was he
not?"
"With the six-shooter he was
simply wonderful. In my entertain
ment l give an illustration of double
shot he made at Hays City, Kansas,
in the early days, when he shot
two soldiers, one in front of him and one
directly behind him, each endeavoring
to shoot him before he could draw his
gun. He killed one and mortally
wounded the other, and the tworeports
of his revolver seemed almost as one-
The marvellous feat was the talk of
the country for long time. In fact,
when l came by there few days
ago one of the old residents
who witnessed the killing mem
toned it to me, and said he
could scarcely believe it even
after seeing it. Bill never missed his
mark. / have seen him take pistol in
each hand and fire with right and left
pistol at can thrown in the air, hit
ting it with both bullets. By the way,
/ heard IA very funny story told on Bill
some time ago. Ii you remember, he
married Mrs. Agnes Lake, widow OF
Lake, the circus man. Bill fairly
worshipped his wife, but despite his
great love for her, she could not in
duce him to quit drinking. He would
come home full of bad whisky, and one
day Mrs. Hickok said to him:
Bill, if you don't quit this drink
ing pretty soon you will actually begin
to see monkeys
Monkeys said he. What do
you mean, little one?'
"'Why, you know( when people
back East drink too much OF the kind
of whisky they get back there they
see snakes, but this awful stuff out
here makes them see monkeys
"Bill laughed at her and did not
give the matter a second thought,
little dreaming that she had put up
Job to break him of his intemperate
habits. There was tame monkey in
the town-Cheyenne, believe it was
and Mrs. Hickok had induced
its owner to loan it to her for
night. Bill came home that
night comfortably drunk and
after he had gone to sleep his wife
secured the monkey and chained it to
the foot of the bed. Then turning
down the light a little, she too retired
and awaited results. Bill woke up in
the night burning with thirst and
raised up into sitting posture, intend
ing to get out of bed and get a drink
of water. There, perched up
on the foot board, was the monkey,
staring him in the face with
hideous grimaces. He rubbed his
bleared eyes, looked again, and a hor-
rible suspicion came into his befud-
died brain. Had his wife told him
the truth? Did he really have 'em?
Finally he sprang out upon the flo r,
seized his six-shooter, which lay on a
table near, leveled it at the grinning
creature and said:
"Now, old man, if YOU are mon
key you're in bad fix; if you amt
a monkey Pm in bad fix" AT the
same instant he fired, and the mon
key fell over in the agonies Of DEATH
His wife, who had been watching the
working of her scheme, sprang up in
the bed with scream, and Bill,
turning to her with broad smile OF
the most intense satisfaction, said:
"Little woman, congratulate me,
for have just had a wonderful escape
amt as drunk as | thought l was,
an there's monkey layin' there
on the floor that'll never intvude
itself into the domestic felicity Of
another happy family an make a gem
tleman think he's got the jim-jams >"
| -[Captain Jack Crawford in Kansas
City Times.