The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-09-25
THE AGE TO BE Welded
Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox Favors kate
Marriages for Reasons She Assigns.
Some Plainly Put Arguments on an Interest
ing Questionable Idea Erroneous that
Youth is the Principal Season of Emotion.


have frequently been asked for ny views on
the advisability of early marriages. At best. a
woman only give her personal impressions
upon this question, and she is quite liable to be
prejudiced in her opinions. 1t would be dif6cult
for the woman who had been happily mated in
her teens to declare against early marriages,
and it would be- impossible for the woman who
found her hearts ideal by waiting until she was
thirty to believe there could have been wisdom
in earlier selection. Almost many views
might be taken of this subbject as there dis
positions and situations in life. No arbitrary
rule car be laid down for all women to follow in
such matter. We see daily girls Of seventeen
who seem as nature in mind and body rs others
who are many years older Human beings are
varied in their types as plants and vegetables,
and require as much variety OF treatment in
their care.
But in looking over the list of exceptionally
happy and unhappy women whom / have known
in my somewhat extensive acquaintance, must
confess the weight of argument is not in favor of
early unions. Added to my personal friends, /
am in constant receipt of letters from strangers
who acquaint with their sorrows and ask me
for sympathy and advice. Within a very short
period of time three women have written to
upon this identical subject--deploring early
and indscreet marriages as the root of all their
sorrows
In foreign countries, where single women are
restricted in their privileges and carefully guard
ed from contact with the world, marriage is
necessity it is only wife that q woman OBJ
taius any liberty or freedom of action. My ar
guments therefore, only applicable to our
American girls. who are. witbal, of more
count in the proeresr of civilization and the ad-
vance of thought thar all the prncesses of all tine
kingdoms in the world. Every American girl is
reared to consider herself young princess; but,
unlike her foreign sisters, she is not taught to
bow to any superior.
It is sad commentary on American society
and American manners that many bright and
otherwise charming young girls are allowed to
tyrannize over their fathers and mothers, and
that the parents seem to feel sort of servile
pride in being eclipsed by their own offspring.
I know an almost innumerabe number of girls
still under twenty who nonopolize the CONVEX
sation, reprove their parents publicly for any
careless or old-fashioned form of speech. and
whose opinions are law and gospel in the house
hold while the parents stand humbly in the
background. gazing. half in awe and half in
wondering admiration, upon the brilliancy of
their own progeny. This thoroughly American
system of educating young girls does not con-
duce to their early wisdom or discretion. II
permits them to gain a sort of premature Cha
otic idea of the surface things OF life far be-
vond their years. and gives them exaggerated
impression of their own Importance. It requires
time and experience to enable them to rightly
estimate their own worth or understand their
own needs.
American girls as a rule develop early, in con-
sequence of this lack of careful training, an in
tensity OF crude emotion and q precocious intel
leet which grasps knowiedee quickly, bat ST
necessity digests it slowly. There is time in
the life of almost every girl when the Duchess
novels satisfy her mental cravings, and when
the curl of a mustaehe or the mellow tones of
tenor voice constitute her ideal of manhood
Time natures her taste In literature and expert
ence rlpens her Judgment of humanity She
outgrows the Duchess and appreciates the
George Eliot; and she laughs at the silly effgy
whom she had invested with romantic halo,
and heart The girl who marries during this
transition period Is almost sure OF ultimate un-
happiness.
Lying on my desk to-day is a letter from a
wretched woman who finds relief in telling me
her story. 81 married at sixteen" she writes
''arl1 at twenty awoke to find myself
woman united to man who had not one taste
or sympathy in common with me. We were
utterly unlike two nations. We live together
under the same roof and we are too we'll bred to
quarrel but oh. the ghastly loneliness of it all!
Tell me what l can do-how l can employ my
time to stop thinking"
Not very long ago I was in the presence of a
charming couple. now past thirty They had
married when the wife was but sixteen. The
husband adored her, and had always looked
upon them illustration of the happiness
possible to perfectly matched youth and maid
who had iourneyed toward the noon of life to-
gether. The wife that type of American
woman frequently met with who develops
from pretty girl into superbly handsome
woman, a thousand times more attractive at
thirty three than she was at eighteen. America,
and America only, Is prolific in the pro-
ducton of such women. Each year but lends
an added charm, and time but sottens and per-
fects the crude tinrs and outlines of youth.
Exulting in her beauty and proud of her attrac
tions, this worshipped wife was indiscreet in
speech and action during moment of exuberant
enjoyment. Her husband gently reproved her.
She turned upon him with the fury OF young
lioness.
ut does very we'll for you to talk prudencew
she cried. But will enjoy myself will be
admired! I never had any youth My girl
hood was passed in the nursery with crying
children, and was old when should have been
woman is entitled to hers. Mine has come, and
1 mean to make the most of it."
l have in mind another wife-a woman of won
derful tact patience and courage-who has
made an Eden out of what her friends believed
would prove a most disastrous marriage She
became wife at twenty-eight, yet until several
years past her teens she was the despair of par
ents. teachers and friends, erratic and unre-
liable seemed her character.
A happy woman, whose husband considers her
a model being. related to me incident con-
nected with her early married life which has
some bearing on this subject. Sne had married
at thirty a man about her own age, with whom
Sne was romantlcally ana pasSlonateiy IN love.
1.-THE first evening after settled down from
our honeymoon trip" she said, when my hus-
band told he going down TO the club for
an hour or two among his old friends, / thought
l could never restrain the storm of jealous feel
ings which took possession of me. I had been
to a great deal of social excitement
and to constant devotion of admirers, and the
thought of passing evening without either
was un bearable. Yet I controlled my exhi-
bition of this feeling and reasoned
that were l to return to my old circle
should accept invitation to a ladys tea party
with pleasure and never imagine l was neglect
ing my husband. Had / been eighteen / could
not have used much Judgment, and should
doubtless have broken into a storm of tears and
compelled him to remain at home with me. And
devotion never endears any wife to
her husband"
1t is erroneous idea of romantic minds that
early youth is the season Of deep and passionate
emotion. Physicians and the wiso mon of the
Catholic Church. however, know that the emo
tions of women in our American climate
most fully developed between the ages of TWEEN
ty- five and tnirty-fye The church guards dur