The Grenada gazette., 1887-06-25
SOME RAILWAY HUMOR.
A Compilation of Jokes. Good, Bad
and Indifferent.

Our most celebrated living art critic.
Mr.. R1skin. has very strong objec-
ton to the railway being carried
through any district where there is ex-
ceptionally beautiful scenery; and yet
railway and its stations do not OF
necessity disfgure the landscape; in
deed. there are many pretty railway
stations dotted here and there over the
country. 1t may be. however. that
most of the whole number are any
thing but pleasant places, and it may
be concluded that very few of them are
places calculated to give much amuse-
ment Still, there is one which may
be said to supply both Of those require
ments. A house near to it was adver-
tised as an eligible summer residence,
on both of the above mentioned ac-
counts 1T commands ~ said the ad-
vertisement, mot only q view of the
pretty little railway station, but also
of the people who miss the trains. y
linus were Illsultu Soiilpiileu oo"u'J
and amusement.
Railway plant is not very suggestive
OF humor Such of the drollery as one
comes across is almost as heavy and
quite as cumbersome as the greater
part of the plant itself. Surely it must
have serious travail of the mind to
bring to light such a conundrum as the
following: "Why is locomotive en-
gine like comet9 Because it has a
headlight and carries long train
OF course there are worse jokes. even
off the line, but one does not often
meet with them. A New York paper
is guilty of perpetrating the following:
"a Western railroad company is seri-
ously thinking of calling its main road
The Primogeniture Route, because it
is the heir line
A very fair attempt at a joke OF the
lugubrious kind was once committed
by guard on one of the short midland
lines. The company was very
small and very poor, and it
was Just little more than they
could do to make ends meet at the
yearly day of reckoning. There were
not many conveniences for the pas
sengors, and indeed they were not
quite so much cared for as the goods
in the wagons that were fixed up with
the carriages. AS for the guard, at
some of the stations on the line he was
ticket-clerk, station-master, passenger
porter and goods-porter all in one.
Just before leaving the junction on
certain day, fussy passenger called
him to the window. 'Look here.
guard" he said; "why don't you have
foot warmers in these carriages? We
shall get our death of cold. y
well, you see,' responded the
guard, zone of our directors is a doc
tor, another is chemist, and another
is tombstone mason; and you know
in this world people must live and let
live. So, you see'---
"All right, guard; 60 ahead. You
ought to have had another director q
coffin maker, and then we could
have got up a special catastrophe fol
!he benefit of the directorate
I'VE have coflin-maker amongs
them. sir; but thought it would b'
too suggestive to mention him..
"Ah, well, it IS rather suggestive, ,
said the passenger. $50, what do yol
think of an accident. for the express
benefit of your mixed lot of direct
ors2n
Express, did you say9' asked tn
guard. "Ah, you have not been Of
this line before, or you would not tall
like that. Why, sir, we don't 60 fas
enough to come to any harm. even
we ran off the lines; and as for col
!sion, that is an impossibility, for ou
only other engine is laid up with
twisted cylinder and broken wheel.
Charles Dickens wrote very humol
ous homily upon railway refreshmen
inconvenience. Indeed, it was on
huge joke at the expense of the CON
panies, and for the benefit Of the pub
lie ~ large Had he wanted text 9