The sun. [volume] (Morris, Stevens County, Minn.) 1882-1895, 1887-07-28
BILL NYE and The FOURTH.
HOW IT WAS CELEBRATED At WHALEN'S
GROVE LAST YEAR.

Bones in It-Suggestions OF Deep Interest
to Taxpayers-Freedom as 1t Suggests Itself
to Hickory Township Man-Our Duties to
Common Country.
There were patriotic remarks and
greased-pig exercises at Whalen' s
Grove last year on the Fourth. all of
which, according to the Sandy Mush
Record Statesman, passed off with
marked success. From the opening
prayer to tho baseball contest and
greasedpole 'doings. everything was
harmonious, aud the receipts were sat
isfactory Col. l.. Forsyth Heeley act
ed us marshal of the day, wearing q
maroon sash and mounted on his we'll
known horse. Mambrno King. A So
rious accident in the early morning
was happily averted by Col. Heesley's $
GOODNESS and self-possession. A lady
from Lower Hominy, whose name could
not be ascertained. while actively en-
gagged in listening to the band and
holding her young child SO that it
could get good view of the sun, be.
came entangled in her train, which had
worked around in front, and while re-
covering herself Col. L. Forsyth Hee-
lev came down the street in advance of
the fire laddies. The horse was rear
ing high in the air and going sidewise
with screaking sound, which seemed
to be caused by the friction between his
second and third stomach. His mouth
was wide open and his tiery-red gums
could be seen as far as the eye could
reach. Almost everyone thought there
would be holocaust, but at that try
ing instant, as if by magic, Col. Heeley
decided to 60 down the other street
Our fire laddies made q fine appear
ance, in their new, hot uniforms and
were not full during the parade. as
was stated by the Hickory Township
World.
Every body seemed to feel an interest
in patriotism with the exception of an
old party from distance who opened
the exercises by cutting a large water
melon and distributing it with lavish
hand among himself He then went to
sleep in the corner of fence, where
he would have been greatly pestered
by flies if he had found out about it. in
time.
After pleasant and courteous prayer
by Rev. Mr.. Meeks, in which he laid
before the Lord a National policy
which he felt certain would make a
great hit our Glee Club sang
Oh, say can you see, sc.
Judge Larraby read the Declaration of
Independence in rich, dark red voice,
and a self-made man from Hickory
Township delivered the following inn
promptu address, the manuscript of
which he kindly furnished to the Re-
cord Statesman:
"FELLow- CITIZENS: This is the an
niversary of the day when freedom to-
wards all and malice towards none first
got foothold in this country. And
we are now to celebrate that day. l
say that on that day Tireny and uzur-
patton got setback that they will
never recover from. We then paved
the way for the poor. oppressed
foreigner, so that he could come to our
shores and take liberties with our form
of government. TO be foreigner
here in America to-day is one of the
sweetest boons. If l could be just
what l would like to be, would be an
oppressed foreigner, landing on our
shores, free from the taxation and re-
sponsibility of government with no
social demands made ON me, with moth
ing in my possession but hearty God
speed from both political parties and
strong yearning for freedom. Oh. why
was not born an alien, that both par
ties wouldn't dast to reproach; an alien
that can come here and find a govern
ment already established, with no flies
on it; q government of the people, by
the people and for the peopleP (Fire-
crackers and applause.)
Zone day that Button Gwinnett put
his name to the statement that all men
was created more or less equal, the spot
on which. we now stand was bowling
wilderness. Where yonder lemonade
stand now stands and realizes clean
profit of $45, 35 ON an investment of
Sc. so, the rank thistle nodded in the
wynd and the wild fox dag his hole un-
scared. If you do not belive this | re-
fer you to the principal of our public
school, who is to-day assisting in the
band and who is now in the act of up
ending his alto horn to pour out about
tea cupful of liquid melody that he
had left over from the last tune.
"And why thisp Why are we to-day
free people. with a surplus in the
Treasury that nobody can get atp
loud applause and squeal from a
grass-fed horse tied to tree who is
being kicked by two-year old owned
by the Pathmaster of Road District NoP
81
that they almost equal our liabilities?
Why Is everything done to make it
pleasant for the rich man and every in
ducement held out for the poor man to
accumulate more and more property.
Why ls it that SO much is said about
the tariff by men who do not support
their familiesp Why is it that when
we vote for President of the United
States we have to take our choice be-
tween statesmanlike candidate with
great ability and proclivities for grand
larceny--why is 1t that we are given
our choce between this kind of man
and what Virgil refers to in his 'Childe
Harold as chumpp Cheers. cries of
That's so' from man who is riveted
to the spot by means of new pitch
plank on which he Is sitting and which
will not permit him to move out of the
sum-.
''Ono hundred veara aUn the tastas Of