The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-09-02
A WILD ENGLIsHMAN's FRANKS
How He Enjoyed Funeral with Him
self as the Corpse.
From tie Onlohu World


self as the Corpse.
From the Omaha World
There died at Leavenworth, kas., about
seven years ago, one of the most remarka-
BILE Englishmen that ever crossed the At
lantic. He was the scion, or at least
seemed to be, of wealthy family, for he re-
ceived large sums of money from England
quarterly, but further than this his past
was sealed book. He was known by the
name of Green, and in general appearance
was typical Briton. He was very eccen-
trlc, wlthal very jovial companion and
much sought by certain element, especial
ly about the time of the month he received
his allowance, aud it was never very long
after that event before the whole town
knew it, He was sure to engage in some
absurd and unheard-of freak that would at
tract the attention of the whole country.
the i only thing be was ever
sided at Leavenworth was to devise and
execute novel schemes for getting rid of his
money. 1t usually took him only four or
five days to run out of funds, but how he
did make the quiet city on the banks of the
Missouri howl during that brief period At
these times he threw money right and left
GNU DOuSohO CNCl y OHlitS lIlSiU uCh Ills
fancy, no matter whether it happened to be
a thrashing-machine or a peanut rooster, a
necktle or silk dress. Everything went
with him. After spending every cent he
would retire to comparative seclusion, sell
dom appearing on the streets until another
lnstallment arrived, when he would repeat
the previous performance with elaborate va
riations
On one occasion Green hired a hack,
rounded up few of his friends and pro-
ceeded to do the town. The hackman knew
him well and humored him in every within
until along toward morning, when he
ordered him to drive to the fort, about a
mile and a half north of the city. This the
hackman refused to do, and Green became
very indignant.
Whats your (hic) bloody old rig (hic)
worth!" he blurted
Eight hundred dollars, replied the dri-
ver
Directing the hackman to drive to a neigh
boring lamp-post Green fumbled around his
clothes for awhile, and finally brought forth
check-book. Then he with great difficulty
filled out check for $500 and handed it to
the driver.
There, confound you (hic), I'm boss of
the sheebang (hic) drive to fort"
The driver informed him that he no longer
z.
therefore quit handling the reins right then
and there Finally Green succeeded in hir-
ing him for the trip, paying $40 in gold for
his services.
On returning to the city Green presented
the turnout to the driver and that individ-
ual was just $500 richer than he was before
the party got into the hack.
About the worst eccentricity the wild En-
glishman ever committed occurred three
months after the hack incident. He made
very elaborate arrangements for funeral
procession and spent money freely in doing
it. He secured a brass band, all the car
riages in the city, and the finest hearse to be
had, all covered with black plumes He
filled the hacks with women of the town,
gamblers, loafers, and everybody else that
he could induce with money to take ride
When everything was in readiness he went
into the undertaking establishment, in front
OF which the hearse and carriages were sta
stationed, and, donning q shroud, crawled
into magnificent coffin and had himself
carried out and deposited in the hearse.
Preceded by the band playing a funernl
march, the procession moved down the
street in the most solemn manner. 1t was
was early in the afternoon of lovely day,
and the sidewalks were crowded with peo-
pie Nothing unusual occurred until the
wi OcNAiON Oh1O vi ICl VI DOldWdiC
Fourth streets, right in the centre of the
city. Then, suddenly, without warning,
Green kicked the lid off the coffin, sprang
up, and with an unearthy yell went head
first through the glass sides of the hearse
The scene that followed the appearance of
this apparition can not be described. Won
en- tainted dead away, children were terror
stricken, and men turned pale. Confusion
reigned, and it seemed for time that every
body had gone crazy. The police finally put
in an appearance and arrested Green. When
the crowd learned that they had not seen a
ghost. and that nobody had risen from the
dead that it was all one of the wild Eng
lishman's capers, their Indignation knew no
bounds. and the police had great difficulty
in preventing them from lynching him. He
was heavily fined in Police Court the next
morning, besides receiving a scathing lee
ture from Judge Vaughn. This little affair
cost Green thousands of dollars but he had
bushels of fun out of it, at least so he said.
He kept up his periodical tears until
wear or two before he died, when the remit
tances failed to materialize longer, and he
seemed to be in a bad fix indeed, broken
down, penniless, friendless, and utterly I'M
able to take care of himself, but the hack
man of whom he bought the team and car
riage, long before, remembered his bene-
factor He hunted up Green, took him to
his home, and cared for him until he died,
and then gave his remains decent burial,
but the mystery that surrounded him was
never cleared up.