The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-11-26

"You can bet it's about the worst /
know in the whole country. That's
why I'm working it. But Charley
Hicks is driving tonight and he's so
careful Pm afraid there isn't any
chance
There was no longer any doubt that
the man was mad. l glanced round
the car to see if there was an unoccu-
pied seat to which / could conveniently
move. There was not. had heard it
was best to humor maniacs, so thought
/ would draw him out.
at seems to me as if you wouldn't
mind being in an accident" began.
mind it! that's what I'm looking
for! Do you think I'd ride on this mis-
cradle road for any thing else?"
was clearly in for it now. l must
keep him talking and interested.
"Why do you want an ACCIDENT" 1
asked, expecting him to tell me how he
loved to hear the timbers smashing,
the glass splintering, and fairly reveled
over the scene of horror and suffering.
81 live on EN-" he calmly answered,
'but this Internal road seems to have a
grudge against me. I've been working
it for two months and must have spent
nigh on to hundred dollars for tickets
and haven't made cent. Only last
week there was beautiful smash-up
to this very train, and would you be-
lieve it, was almost the only passen-
ger who wasn't badly hurtr'
Twas just about to congratulate him
on his escape when l fortunately re-
membered his mental condition and
checked myself in time.
How do you manage to live on acct
dents?" inquired.
because I'm insured. Of course it
don't pay every one to get insured.
It's all lottery, but so far I've been
very fortunate. Do you see that Lego"
he said, poking his right out towards
me.
lido"
Feel the ankle and the foot"
Now, l had no desire to investigate
his anatomy, but as l was still uncer-
tain of his responsibility, complied.
at feels pretty hard" 1 observed.
after lingering it very gently.
Don't be afraid of hurting me-" he
said: ''it's woodr'
"Woodn' Exclaimed.
Eyes, some time before my first &C.
cident-that foot was my first-a friend
persuaded me to take out an accident
policy. Twas professional billardist,
and travelled about a good deal play
ing matches and giving exhibitions.
Well, [ got into a smash-up and that S
the result. got five thousand dollars
for that foot, but my trade was gone. l
couldn't move fast enough round a
table to play in public, so l hired a
room and went into the business of
keeping tables. 1t didn't pay and l
lost nearly all my money. l wasn't
good for any thing else, and l didn't
know what to turn to. One day struck
bright idea. AN accident took away
my living; it's only fair that accidents
should keep meH said. So began
looking out for likely bits of road, and
it wasn't much more than q month be-
fore | was on beauty. Do you see
this" he continued. pointing to the
eye, the glare of which had so fright
ened me.
Il do" l mildly answered.
"It's glass. Isn't it darling? So
natural it deceves every one"
at quite deceived me-" was able to
remark, with absolute truth.
Glad you like it. I'll give you the
address of the maker, in case you should
ever want one or two. He's away
ahead-the best in the business. Well,
that eye was another 81, 300"
mot much for an eye!'' 1 sympa-
thetically murmured.
"No, it wasn't enough. You see they
pay $4,000 for two eyes, and l don't
think the proportion is right. But did
better next time. Feel that armr'
1 did as l was bid, and inquired if it
was also wood.
"Papier-machew he said proudly.
ats always ahead of wood for light
ness and strength. Made by Mason,
best in the biz. Go to him if you ever
want any thing in that line
"How much did the arm bring you?"
Give thousand dollars, and that l
consider my best speculation"
doesn't the insurance company OBJ
ject to your frequent claims?"
"Well, do little bit in canvassing,
so my travelling seems to be legitimate !"
Il should have thought you'd made
enough to retire"
1--WE got a very large family, and
I'm bound to do my best for EN-"
But you can hardly conveniently
spare any more limbs. or even another
eye, unless it should be the glass one. "
mo, that's true. I'm wanting a nice
internal injury, or some cracked ribs,
that Il give me weekly Indemnity of
fifty dollars for about six months.
But" / began, and then paused, for
didn't quite know how to phrase my
question delicately. A happy thought
occurred to me, and l said: you've
described this insurance business as a
lottery; suppose you should draw the
capital priZep'