The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-07-03
A BASHFUL MAN.

WQeIe luht OdSn Is, duO uc I6pcdlcU ~
more than once, too. while great drops
of perspiration stood out like beads
from the cleft in his chin to the roots of
his hair.
l had known Tom Smith for resrs,
and up to this time had never heard him
utter a profane word. But now the
hoodgates were unbarred, and condem-
nation after condemnation, curtailed
and beheaded, poured out of his mouth.
In one hand he held square of lace
and blue satin; in the other red silk
handkerchief, with which he frantically
mopped his face.
"What upon earth have you there ?"
l ,ked, hoping to stay the storm.
Cant you see what it is?" he
answered, standing before me like an
embodied thunder-c cloud. 1t is what
women and fools call a-a-tidy!"
well, whose tidy?"
Somebody's with more money than
brains" he growled; and then the poor
fellow resumed his striding and-I am
sorry to say-his singular profanity.
Tom was tall. fair and as cookbook
ing as the majority OF men, but the
bashfulest fellow in the world. de was
a lawyer by profession, ard vas always
successful when his clients were men,
but the presence of lady IN his Office
had the same effect upon Toms hair
and complexion that the sun i'll hot
day has upon linen. 1t bleached and
wilted him.
Il wish l had died when an infant, or,
better sill, l bad never been born.
WHAT the deuce am going to do with
these things" and Tom slammed the
squares Of Mechlin and satin upon the
table and drew from his pocket letter
which he placed with another slam OH
the top of the tasteful chair protector.
"IU give up laW-yes [ will. See if
don't" he went on. Iii another woman
ever dares ask my advice III throw her
out cf the window Confound the whole
set of them, with their little, minciDg,
insinuating, disagreeab!e ways! On ac-
count of my friendship for the brother
to the tidy felt bound to transact
business he left unsettled, and this nee
essarily brought me in contact with her
"a little, seIf-satisfed, self possessed,
vain hussy, who can look man out OF
countenance with her great brown eyes
and then laugh st him for fool. had
to cal~there for some papers which she
was obliged to explain To ME. and when
she drew up close and planted her
elbow on the arm OF my chair and shook
her curls all over my shoulder, my
backbone melted into jelly and l shook
all over like man with the ague. That
internal satin thing was loose on the
back of the chair, and I'd all along been
afraid of leaning back for fear I should
brush it off, for of course | could never
stand up and put it back like other fell
lows.
"By and by-I swear believe she did
it on purpose-her warm hand came in
contact with mine, and | moved mine
away, III be switched if she didn' move
hers along, too, ostensibly to show me
d clause on the extreme margin of the
other page. In my confusion | had
brushed that blasted thing off, and how
do you suppose l must have felt when |
got outside aud found that l had actu-
clawed the thing into my pantaloons
pocket.
THAT wasn't the worst OF it, BY anv
manner OF means. l went into the
parlor with letter in nay hand which /
had not read. A man like me feels so
much more at his ease when he has
something to play with. must have
dropped the letter on the table and
taken up another, and I'll be switched
when l opened and read it, thinking it
my own, as much as | hate women, |
would have exchanged places with
Susan B. Anthony, and considered my
s5lf the gamer.
Listen, will you?" and Tom seized
the document and read:
MYDEAR BETTY think my night gown
pattern much preltier than yours. There is
more insertion in the yoke, and 1t frs better
every way The prettiest petticoats, l think,
are those with cluster of tiny IuckS at the
top of 2 wide Tlffie, or embroidery l have
just made me half dozen and they are
lovely.
When vou come down I'll introduce you
10 2 friend of mine, a Mr. Smith. He isn't
really psd looking, but is tie Oashfu.est man
1 ever saw. He bushes and stammers and
Irembles in such funny manner; you can't
imagine the fun have. Come soon and we'll
lead him rig In haste, yours.
CARRIE STEPHENS.
"Nightgowns petticoats RIFLES and
tucks!" gulped Tom-his face the color
of a boiled lobster. Il don't care thre e
straws what she says about me, but to
tnlnh my hHOHluS luat she udS JUST
made six new petticoats!"
NV wife and Carrie Stevens were
bosom friends, and just at this crisis of
affairs mademoiselle burst into the sit
ting-room. At the sight of her, Tom
Tell into q chair, utterly collapsed, and
well, it is doubtful if l shall ever
laugh so heartily again during the rest
of my life. Our unexpected visitor, who
had rushed to our house to enjoy the
Joke with my wife, gave one look at
Tom, one at the tidy, and then followed
peal after peal of hysterical laughter. as
spontaneous as it was uncomfortable.
Then Tom drew himself up like lion
at bay all bashfulness and timidity
forgotten-and With the dignity of q
true gentleman presented the tidy to his
convulsed yis-a.vis.
ALLOW me, Miss Stevens, to present
YOU this-tidy, believe you call it; and
this most interesting and instructive
document, which 1 beg pardon for hav
ing opened and read byImistake. Send
for your dear Be ty. Miss Stephens, and
if l can assist you in the rig you speak
of shall only be too happy" and Tom,
with courtIy bow, left the room and the
house.
Wo1I5 Won believe IL