New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-08-31
THE TALK OF THE DAP.

pictures handsomely framed o souvenir gift
The next day he received a note from the lady In
which she thanked him for the picture, but begged
to return the franc as she made 1t rule never to
accept anything valuable q gift from gentleman
"The Detroit Free Press" is dissatisfied because
Boston has eighteen public statues and Detroit only
four The editor Of "The Detroit Free Press evidently
has never seen Bostons Standardization Transcript.
"The great orators of the Democratic party gonc
and their foods Of eloquenoc forgotten" exclams
0ld-tlme Democrat. This Is q rather strange con-
fesslon to make at time when every little town In
the West has moro natural gas than 1t knows what to
do with. But although the Democratic party doesn't
produce much natural gas formerly, 1t is still
borng-the public.
New-York woman sold her husband to another
woman for $4,000 while Western husbands dull
and depressed at less than onetenth Of this Oh,
this cursed Interstate Commerce law.-lPeora Tran
script
Mormon elder wants to know If there is any
place this broad earth where the Saints would not
be prosecuted Oh, yes, there is Patagonia There
only few savagos there, and they wouldn't 500
anything very immoral in Mormonlsm. We advise the
Saints to check their baggage for Patagonia
The Better way.-Yestcriay morning man who
appeared to be hardy VI toll from tho country
entered Grand Riyerave. saloon with box uLdcr
his arm. and when the BARTENDER moved around ~ his
place and asked him what It was to DO, he said:
say, you've got q dog, haven't you"
rs he hghtcr~
"Good I've got skunk in this box and IN bet
Mister man." interrupted tho saloonist with
wave yS, Of bis hand, do you ever drink I"
"IIays something some with mel"
He set up two glasses of beer and after they were
disposed OF he handed out cigar and continued:
II suppose you are In hurry and want to DO Of
"Yes. rather in hurry. Good day, old fellow:
Sorry you cont want to see my pet but IT'S all nsh1
-nuR ced"-lDetrot Free Press.
apdfb
ardent Prchlbtlonists say that 1t serves the state
right for having voted against water.
"The Father of Six Monkeys; or the Prophet OF
Penon," Is unique name Of popular play now
running in the City Of Mexico.
VACATION is OVER. .iA
"vacation is over" the small boy cried,
And the tears from his eyes did wipe;
"The hateful old school begins" he sighed,
Just apples and pears are rpo,
And a fellow must lose all the fruit and fun
Cause vacation Is over and sohoOIs Deguh'1 Il
"yacation is over" the farmer said, 81"
"A he rubbed his hands In CLEO,
"And man can enjoy his own fruit, Instead
And tho dog will have something better to eat
-dDoston Budget
Tho people Of Australia are loyal to England, but
not blind to what they consider It's defects Hero Is
stanza from a Jubilee poem which was published In
Melbourne:
Thank God the seas are widci Thank God your
OF sound and aamc touch not our eye or ear;
Not yet Hypocrisy has grown 70 Madness
Thank God we are too far to hear this thunder,
This hirellng thankfulness OF shine and Dlare.
or all the sobs that you would drown ma desnair
Ii f. noticed this summer that the clergymen
arc telling some Of the biggest fish stories. The
clergymen have always been worthy disciples OF
St. Peter and IsaaS Walton
Since the first issue of my Journal sixty -four offers
OF marriage have been made to me by parties never
saw. From such list I could undoubtedly select
a curiosity worthy OF mummifyng. But the plain,
naked truth Is that few years since actually met
hls Offering I at first positively refused, directly
relentod shortly acqulescel The TACT Us ai INA
-C4ady Editor OF Dougassville GA Industrial
It is said that even after 1t evacuated by tb"
British, Boston was not 80 empty as IL mas peen
this summer and yet at tho same time summer tour
ist. say that very few Bosonians are to BIO found at
tho resorts. They probably go To some quiet spot by
themselves and enjoy season OF Nirvana
ono of tho most nckle husbands on record is the
one who had his first wife cremated, afect0natcly
placing her ashes In an urn. one day seeing MS
threw tho ashes Of wife No. on the slippery stoop so
that wife No would not break her ncck.NEpoch.
"Hello. what are you doing in washIngtonl"
q came hero 10 get situation"
Intend TO do Why nothing. OF course I'm
promised Job under the Government" (washIngton
Critic
Tho enemies Of tho Young Mems Christian Associ-
frequently that IL Is In state of decadence
but the facts do not bear out this assertion on tho
contrary 1t Is growing In influence and power Whilo
so much Is being done for young men, 1t is a mat
ter for sincere regret that little In the Same
way has been done for young women The Young
womens Christian Association In this city is mooe
that ought to be copied In great many other cities
Tho Southern rice crop is just now being harvested
The Louisiana crop Is not as large az some previous
years, but the news from the Atlantic coast, both
from Georgia and South Carolina Is Of much moro
character In both these States, just
about tho time W gathering the cereal came food
and o large proportion OF the crop was put under
water and damaged destroyed The loss In South |
Carolina so great that t Is feared the negroes on
he rice plantations will be lett without sufficient
money to provide themselves with food daring the |
winter and Will require some relief or assistance by
tho state or Federal Government Times
Democrat
A STILL ALARM.
The Fourteenth Street Theatre opened last night
FOR tho regular season, and In presence Of large and