The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-01-18

DdChHdA0f anu all SUCH SluhAt tAlCAo. 1Ou
ought to have seen Bliffkins and his uncle
why, they just rolled off their chairs and ali
round the room, convulsed with laughter.
"Ain't he smartr says the old man: Where
in thunder did you pick him up. You bet
he's smart" says Bliff. " and | think be ar
rived in the Explorer" After having another
snifter or so we started for home, the old
man advising US to take back street and
avoid the lamps and police. No danger says
Blif. The lamps are all out and the police
asleep. Well, we were all getting on nicely,
when CRATIC broke ont with " We won't go
home till morning." which woke up the
policeman, and there was commotion in
our crowd-each making his best time.
Somehow Oratio's legs wouldn't work worth
a cent, and the "cop" Just captured him.
Blif and kept right on, regardless of con-
sequences, fetching up in beautiful mud
hole, where we lay as quiet as a mouse in
meal-tub until the "cop" and CRATIC had
passed US, when we emerged from our hiding
place and shook OFF the mud. l wanted to
go right down and bail the boy out. Bliff
SAYS: Don't you do it-they will nail you.
too! Look at your Clothes" Sure enough,
we were mud from head to foot. l said, 81
will see Horace the first thing in the morn
ing, and bail the boy OUT which l did.
Blif and 1 reached cur rooms all right.
l called in yesterdaywith Blifkins, to paw
lily I6SDGClS " ltle GIduO lLleT. VINO mas
reached his 10th birthday. | tell you the old
chap was real glad to see US, and just made
US walk right up to the sideboard and help
ourselves-which We did. | drank the old
mans health, hoping he might live a thou
sand years, and Blifkin's spoke about
providence" looking after him, and that
his lines had fallen in pleasant places, and
SO on. The Grand YiZier replied, thanking
US for our kind wishes, and said he had
better luck here than he had in Java-it was
a close shave there. but he was not afraid
here. oh no.
had a letter from Gawge by the Australia,
Just before he left for London. Gawge saws
L must not believe all Bliffkins says about
the loan, and that the 100000 was only a
joke. Gawge says It's all right, Armstrong
wired him to that effect. Gawge is going
to London to look after the details of the
business. Gawge will also see after the
yacht, and then to her armament, and SO
on. He may fill her up with water pipes
there is money in this, you know.
Gawge thinks he will make good thing
out of this job before he is through with
i'll think he will. Don't l wish l was
as good-looking as Gawge, and then perhaps
luck might turn III my favor.
l fell in last Saturday with Binks, who is
great traveller, you know-has been all over
LLC hOIius wen, 1OlilhS SOI W ttlhlLD dDOul
your opium license here, and said he had
been in the business himself once, when he
was on Christmas Island. Lots of China
men there, you know, and they were having
everything their own way-lots of opium,
samshu, and all that. The Grand Duke
(they have Grand Duke there), who was up
to snuff, just thought he'd make those
heathens put few shekels up for the priv
ilege of smoking the stuf-and he did. He
confiscated the stock on hand, and then
offered license to the Chinaman who would
put up the most ducats. tell you, that
Grand Duke was as smart as a steel trap.
He Just knew how to work those Celestials,
like rolling off a log. Pretty soon their
tongues began to hang out for the want of a
smoke-in fact they got desperate-and de-
clared they did not care to live unless they
had their opium to smoke. Well, meeting
on the quiet was held among these Celestials
and they formed hui, and chose You Lie as
their leader, who W as to see the Grand Duke
and secure the privilege or license at any
price. Well, You Lie had an audience with
the Grand Duke, at which there was q great
deal of palaver, which finally ended in You
Lies closing with the Grand Duke for the
license, at S75, 000-$70,0 900 of which must be
deposited before che license would be drawn
up. You Lie Immediately rushed back and
called the hui together, and in the highest
glee, told his countrymen how we'll he had
him to the skies-"Him Heap Savoy, allie
same Chinaman-like plenty samshu; him
bully boy Well. when they heard You Lie,
they just threw up their hats. and gave three
cheers for the Grand Duke, "alle same
Cninaman." You Lie then collected the
shekels IN hand-Cart, ana started of for
the Grand Duke LAY all this wealth at his
feet, and secure the opium monopoly which
was 10 make milIionaires of the hii You
ought to have seen the Grand Duke when
You Lie hove in sight with that load OF
wealtn-his eyes just stuck right ont, and he
laughed from one ear to the other-here was
a load of wealth to his ''own cheek" and
now ne could have an extra postage stamp
over his eye, and he would have a new malo,
and big war canoe, and lots of "sogers"
The Grand Duke warmly thanked You Lie,
and told him to call Tomorrow with the rest
of the money, and get his license. You Lie
went away in thigh feather at his success
full strategy with the Grand Duke, and how
he had got the bulge on the other hui,
which You Lie knew to exist When You
Lie told his boys all about the ''biz," and
how well ne had succeeded, they just
'whooped" themselves hoarse and then all
hands went on an old-fashioned "iamboree.
While all this hilarity was going on, the op-
position mn woke up to "biZ,'' and sent their
leader, Bun Chung, off to ''dicker'' with the
Grand Duke, and to secure that license at
bet, Bun Chung just went and interviewed
the Grand Duke and talked turkey to him,
and his ''highness' smoled all over his face
when Bun Chun went cool $1,000 better
than You Lie, and secured the prize; and in
twenty minutes after, another hand-cart with
$4,000 in it, was seen vending its way to the
ducal cabin, accompanied by Bun Chung,
and a few trusty Celestials. The Grand
Duke appeared 10 be overjoved at this addi-
tional wealth. and began to wonder how
many more times he would be able to work
this racket" when Bun Chung blandly
asked him if he had the license ready. The !
Grand Duke told him he could leave the
money now, and the license would be ready
to-mo,Tol0 Not muche," says Bun Chung
No license, no money-me sable too
muche." The Grand Duke Just wited when
he heard this-two moves was the best lie
could do, apparently, when he expected to
make three or four. The Grand Duke saw
the game was up, and called the Grand Fac
totum, and ordered him to I'LL out the license
for Bun Chung instanter, which was DONE
sealed, signed, and delivered, apd the coin |
was dumped down at the ducal treasury
Bun Chung and his followers went OF some /
what elated, stepping high, and feeling like
Mandarins. Meanwhile You Lie had de
81, a. "a