The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-05-25
BRIC-A.BRAC
"The world rolls on" he said,
Aud bears us to our fateS."


Too thin-Shadow soup.
Let me reflect" said the mirror.
Cut on the bias-The g~uillotine.
Standard goods-Silk and bunting.
Up in arms-Thc squalling infant at mid
night.
Highest approbation-Applause from the
gallery.
A comtersign-"This lot marked down
below cost"
Notwithstanding for promotion
i'll the army.
Can a butchers shop be called a joint
concern?
England wants peace-a piece of all the
world.
The proper dessert for an undertaken
Berry pie.
The average longevity in Russia is only
2G years.
a promising young man-Onc who gets
his clothing on credit.
1t is the manufacturing chemist who al
ways has a rctOrt ready.
In some parts of China the missionaries
travel in whcclbarrows.
Only the sublimity of check can rise to
the grandeur of luck.
If silence is golden, what a bonanza n
deaf and dumb asylum must be.
1t is somewhat p~aradoxical that the man
who does the least talking in Congress is
called the Speaker.
a young man can run through his prop
ccty very quickly if it is only a common
housc-lot.
A poor, thoughtlcss old gentleman sat
down, the other day, on the spur of the
moment. Ills creams were frightful.
Dry toast may be well enough for break
fast, but dinner toasts should be buttcrcd
with fine words.
When a miner has been eaten by u griz,
HlY the Western people speak of him as be-
ing admitted to the bar.
a lady, joking about her nose, said, Il
had nothing TO do with shaping it. 1t was
a birthday present
Father never imagined your studies
would cost me SO much money. Student
Yes, ard don't study much either.
\ correspondent wants to know if bees
ever lose their temper. We can't say, but
we are positive their stings don't.
\ little boy said he would rather have
the CHrHChc than the toOthaChc, because he
wasn't compelled to have his car pulled.
Stcalning white wood and submitting il
to an end pressure renders it 50 tough, il is
said, rs to require II cold chiscl to split it.
Heaven is a very big place, else it would
he crowded by hanged men who havc gone
there directly from the gallowS.
The happy man who is blcst with a nu-
mcrous wife and daughters knows what is
meant by the sweet buy and buy.
The sting Of the bee is only one thirty
second of an inch long; it is said to be only
imagination that makes 1t seem as long as a
hoe handle.
y contemporary mentions n case beyond
the ordinary oculist. 1t is that of Il young
lady who, instead of a pupil, has a profcs,
scr in her eye.
The fellow who thinks his girl a perfect
jewel discovers some flaws in her after
marriage, even If it's only false hair or cold
feet.
1t seems no more than right that men
shonld seize Time by the forclock, for the
rude old fellow sooner or later pulls all
their hair out.
The man who was Rugged by a grizzly
never had such a tremendous pressure
brought to bear upon him before.
Ii has been discovered why n man going
js in order ,hot he NAV Lovc thr cork 70
use as a noa. for his lines.
InoI.I :, ra mm..,~ .,v,. ,,.
man charged With" asked he Mnvor
"Nith whisky. yer Honor rrnliod thr
contentious policeman.
- h.ay % yoi1 ,Irs ri,hwhooLor ",ho,
NJ ',"Hiiii',,,,, ~ ,nrH. riSilM IitcNci, tiE,l
las, wear. ALWAYS snid INT Ynin was an
unhealthy city"
y,,. :; H. oh,i, :
,ro -? ,in = , h ~ VI IoiiInce III ilsol ni
.,ronT rnmr"h "a nc w, , ''I prsI,T 10 oc nnnuly
Of the missing link ~
I, pur,,nh ol;,aro ~ :.
,ot',,nnt r"rs T.,,3, lr'c'Et t,Gp'lhnts III
hGG nInor i,."lf !" nh""t al ,hn ahaS Eom", ,y
' 'Ti,p 'tot LIZ ~ - "'E'' an inc eicPhaht INC
rcJ roycd oo,,louo, ol.o u;,
wr'n,nr No i,oii aJ";,eI,In "sAcu Il WIZ
r,,IiaI -, ~ ,D,If,I ~ IpiitS. AS, sit,
W.. ~, t""NiHS nm VI IL tnc race i