The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-07-02
FACT AND FANCY.

ittlc intltulDic tiut uiutehto "iS '''"N~ 80
heaveni
harp and crown Ia In store for the genius
who can invent an electric motor which VIII
move the vulgar gazers from about the church
ioors on Sunday mornings
Last Sunday Rev. Mr. Grlfliths, OF Kent,
| Conn, prayed for rain and two days later
there came big thunder shower bringing
ball Of lightning which struck the church.
The clergyman who advised the women OF
his congregation to get along with only two
bonnets year was probably put up to 1t by
ais wife. Minister'S wives generally have to.
When the irreliglous man goes to the tele-
phone he usually says "Hellon When he
comes away from the telephone he is very apt
10 turn the expression around the other way.
Lots Of pretty girls In New York wear nut
meg around their necks as charm against
malaria. Young men have II sprinkled on top
IL a glass OF milk and things for the same pur.
pose
Overheard In Boston, First LADY, am
surprised at your not caring for Phillips
Brooks. Second Lady--Oh, do care for him!
like him very much, but / just dote on
Buddhal
A thrifty husband at Boston had his first
wifes portrait made into fancy picture out
IF respect to his second wife's feelings. The
color Of the eyes was changed golden locks
rave place TO raven tresses, and the head was
,urmounted by theatrical looking hat.
Methodist preachers In session in Philadel-
phia passed resolution excluding reporters,
and there probably wasn't clergyman in the
trl,A ~ tttt,a has mot ni1n1
wcetly upon some reporter in order that a
long and stupid sermon might SEQ the light of
print
Some people have a way of talking as II
hey know everything and could manage
everything SO well II everybody else would get
,ut Of the way and let them direct 1t all. As
rou look upon them you wonder how the
Lord got on without them before they came,
and how he will get on without them when
Athey go.
At Lewistown, Me-, n few days ago little
girl fell into a feed-box, twelve by fifteen
inches running from hay-loft to trough
below. She fell In head first and slipped out
through broken board In the trough, fright
.ning the horse so that he ran away. All she
laid about her accident was: "Ma, the horse
is loose"
They were discussing theosophy. He was
,rgumentative and skeptical; she enthusiastic
and credulous. He had remarked that the
chief exponent here of the new faith appeared
20 be fully aware on which side his bread was
buttered. 'Indecd, he is not" she cried In
iignantly. "He is above all such worldly
matters, and, Furthermore, he eats nothing
but rice"
letter recently received at the North
Adams, Mass, postofice was addressed as
lollows: ITO the state OF Massachusetts,,
where North Adams nestles mid the hills
peaceful and fair, there put in the postotiice
safe under lock and key until - calls
md says is there any mail for met " All
Ner the face of this letter was written the
cords "Rats" and "Chesnuts' inscribed by
he different mailing clerks through whose
hands the letter had passed.
Jabez Hall, an aged and reputable planter, liv
ing near Mariana, Ark, advertised for wife,
ind the answers were so numerous that he
vas at loss how TO choose. His gigantic in
ellect came to his rescue, however. He gave
zach applicant number, and VIZ iting the
numbers ON separate cards put them in box
and shook them up well. Then he blind
folded his little grandchild and had her draw
card from the box. He is now correspond
ing with the lady to whom the card had been
allotted, and 1t is probable that wedding
will result.
The following specimen of ''getting event.
10 related by correspondent Of The E.nira
IN. W Gazette Miss Sawyer, who is poor,
was introduced at lunch party to Miss Tay-
Tor, who Is rich, and was coldy received
Miss Sawyer is bright and knowns her own
antccedents and Miss Taylor's also. She was
unabashed, and spoke cheerily: 'I'm so glad
to meet you. I've always wanted to. It's so
funny-my name is Sawyer and my grand
father was n tailor, and your name is Taylor
and your grandfather was a sawyer Mine
nscd to make clothes for yours, and yours
used to saw wood for mine"
A gentleman, after farewell dinner party
at his club, says The Mem York Times Joined
his wife on the steamer that was TO sail in the
morning, taking the upper berth. Suddenly
bis wife, In the lower BERTH and those in the
adjoining staterooms weie alarmed by his cx-
claiming In drunken tones: 'Tve got 'emi
I've got eml Black things are crawling all
.r mel" go to sleep and you'll be all
ht,r sternly replied his better half; but by |
his time he had risen to a sitting posture and |
was hurting to the floor black, squeaking OBJ
jects, which caused the wife to exclsim
"Stcward lIghtsl lightsw Steward and
lights arrived, disclosing the fact that the
ships cat had deposited litter of kittens in
the berth occupied by the gentleman, whose
presence between the sheets had caused them
10 investigate their surroundings
Three or four Sundays ago Mrs. steckel, Of
Allentown. Pa, astonshed her neighbors by |
walking into church and presenting the minis