The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1887-08-12
FUN AT WEDDINGS
G%rotes1ue Happenings and Ridiculous
acknowledgements Comeaiss as Related
by a Eoston

ludicrous incidents and queer
mistakes happen in connection with
weddings or marriages then / ever no.
ticed n connection with any of my 9TH
er work. There arc times when I have
difficulty in keeping my c~ountenance
straight, and of course you wouldn't
like to be laughed at by the minister
just as he was about to Join you solemn
ly in wedloek with the lady you loved.
The most trying time l ever had was
when l was young in the ministry, and
when 1 had not such control over
my keen sense of the ludicrous as I
have since acquired. I was located at
Houlton, Me. One day a couple drove
over from Woodstock, N. B., and when
they arrived in the village began lnquir-
ing for a minister. Some ofthe mischief
loving boys got hold Of them, and took
them down to the market, where they
were placed on exhibition and piled
with all sorts of ridiculous questions, to
the great amusement Of the crowd and
without embarrassment to themselves,
for they were too green TO appreciate
the joke. Finally, after everybody had
had his fill of fun, the bride and groom
were escorted to my house by q few of
the most mischevious Of the crowd. It
was all l could do to keep from roaring
when they entered. aud I felt that 1 must
maintain my dignity, not only for the
sake Of the bride and groom, but be-
cause some of the young men present
We're members Of my congregation, and
if l yielded to my feelings then, l might
have difficulty in restraining myself
when I faced them from the pulpit.
Tho woman was. the %tallest, most
awkward and most fantastic female
l ever saw. She was six feet and two
inches high, and dressed in all che bright
colored toggery she could get on,
without regard to harmony or style of
make. But one article struck me so
forcibly, and was thrust on my atten-
ton SO prominently, thas I forgot all
the other details. She had a hand which
came neal answering tho description,
as large as a Goldfish and these were
enclosed in a pair Of thick yarn m%ittens,
which made every finger look as big as
a potato. These gloves were o marvel.
They were striped, red and white, the
stripes running lengthwise the finger,
while on the back of each hand she had
worked, in coarse yarn, what she
thought was some sort OF a flower, into
which she had wrought every mproba-
bic color that a grotesQue imagination
could picture. The man was a diminu-
tive half-breed, Indian and French,
and he had no vest nor collar on, and
his pants were held up by o lumber
mans leather belt, fastened with an
old, rusty iron buckle. l managed to
get through the ceremony, however,
and relieved my feelings after they had
gone.
II remember a bashful fellow who
came to my house with his girl to get
married. He was so bashful that I pit
led him. He was absolutely over
whelmed-paralyzed, / ought to say.
He came into the parlor with his hat
on, and did not remove it once, despite
all the hints that his bride and l gave
him. said all the assuring things I
could and tried to engage him and his
lady in conversation, but he was SO
abashed that he could neither answer
nor move. [ limited that he stand be-
side his lady but he was so frightened
that lie did not understand. Finally,
in despair, / said quietly and privately
to the bride: Iii yon will take your
place beside the groom / will marry
YOU and when she approached him it
seemed absolutely to startle him with n
new fright.
"One young man, who came on
the same errand was struck with
curiosity the moment he entered the
house. He absolutely ignored his
bride, while he wandered aboutthe par
lor, sclutiniZing in n wondering way
every picture, every book, orna-
ment and piece Of furniture in the room.
The bride sat and blushed, while I tried
to call his attention to the business of
the moment, but he kept on, and it was
more than fifteen minutes before l
could get the two corralled near enough
together to marry them:
II married a queer couple once, a
short time before I came to Boston.
The man had just entered his profession
which we will call that of a physician
and had determined upon his place OF
settlement. The young lady, a bright,
intelligent, well educated girl, who
knew the Ways of society, had made
up her mind that she would marry o
doctor, and finally she had brought
matters round in a quiet womanly way
to the point of his asking for her hand
and heart, and of course she yielded,
The acquaintance had been astonishing
ly brief. They were hardly acquainted
when [ was summoned to marry them.
He was very skillful and devoted to his
profession, which he had mastered well
for n young man in theory and
practice. But he knew less of the
ways of the world and the customs OF
social and domestic life than any other
mar 1 ever met. He was on the point
of starting for his new home the very
next day after the marriage, and will
the utmost %unconcern regarding the
proprieties of the occasion, had packed
up all his apparel ready for the journey.
He was stopping at the house of {
friend, who, at the last moment, late il
the afternoon, discovered that the
bridegroom did not have q change O.
linen to dress with. Hurried consul
tations were had, and his hostess, witt
woman's readiness for emergencies
took tho measure of his collar ani
waist, went down just rs the store were
about to close and purchased the desired
articles, which the bridegroom accepted
with tbs utmost equanimity and rs i
the articles were not of much conse
quence anyway. They went away, ant
in a few days the bride wrote a lette,
to II of her friends, in which she ro
marked with charming naiyetto. "W,
had q good, pleasant journey, and
found my husband to be quite enter
tanning. think Ishall like him first-rat,
when I get acquainted with him.
The ARTISTS Model"
New York Letter.