The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-01-29

sHAMPoo-making light OF some
thing when you don't mean it.
THERE is great deal of truth in the
well-worn quotation. "Man wants but
little here below" after all. Ii is wo-
man who wants everything in this world.
-Loirel Citizen
EYES yet they see not-potatoes
Ears yet they hear not-corn. Mouths
yet they speak not-rivers. Hands yet
they feel notebooks. Brains yet they
think not--dudes.
TN afraid it's not genuine" said a
LADY, TO shopman. 20, yes, IL is,
madam" replied the polite gentleman.
"All our camel's-hair shawls are made of
pure silk, direct from the worm. "--Neic
York Sitn.
mons, and yet you persist in using
notes" furnishing pastor-My dear
brother, as / never have any notes in
my pocketbook 10 use, You should not
object to my using them in the pulpit.
Philadelphia Call.
THE SMOKERS SONG.
Oh cry no more All up fiji up
Fill up the goblet to the brim,
For ruin turks within the cup
Though pleasure sparkles ON the RIM
II ili we must. then let no IN
IAirk in tho bowl for YOU and me;
With choice tobacco let Ms hli
The moerschnum, corn cob, or r. ID.
And sit and whin our cares away
And ne'or be 10 rcmorso prey.
boston Courier.
IT is rather curious thing that
man will buy an alarm clock 10 wake
him up in the morning. and then after
the alarm goes will turn over and say:
There goes the alarm; have fifteen
minutes yet. "I'll take another nap"
OF course he oversleeps himself, and in
view of this fact the question may be
asked, do we buy alarm clocks for use
or for ornament ?-Boston Courier.
WHEN the baseball fever was at its
hight here the last season very bad
cases of it appeared among the young
sters. One 6-year-old organized nine
and challenged another juvenile nine to
mortal combat; but the game didn't
materialize. why didn't you play?"
asked the father of the 6-year-old cap
tain. "O!" was the reply, in tone of
disgust. "two Of my men were sick. -
81 AibdnS Messenger.
A YOUNG lady was speaking TO
friend who had called npon her regard
ing trait Characteristic of her mother,
who always had good word to say TO
every one. "Why," she said, II believe
il Satan were under discussion mother
would have good word TO say for him.
Just then the mother entered and was
informed what the daughter had just
said, whereupon she quietly said, "Well,
my dear, think we might all initiate
Satan's perseverance,.
CONC out in the car the other day L.
saw bright little miss Of my acquaint-
anco with her library book in her
daintily-gloved hand, and, noticing the
title was that of n rather abstruse sub
iect, / said; "Why. my dear, you Sc
lect very deep literature for your read
ing; had no idea You were SO studious.
She answered: 90, is il? Well, / did
not know what TO get, and so took this,
rs the color compared so beautifully
with my hat. Did you ever see n more
perfect match ?"-Springaeld Home
stead
SERVED HIM RIGHT.
OLD Birch who taught the village school,
Welded n maid Of homespun habit,
lie was ns stubborn ms mule
And she n playful as n rabbit.
Poor kato had scarce become hts wife
Before her husband sought 60 mako her
The pink of country polished life,
And prim and formal as Quaker.
One day the tutor went abroad,
And simple katy sadly missed him.
When lac returned bohnd her lord
She slyly stole, and fondly kissed him.
The husbands anger rose and red
And white his face alternate grew.
Less freedom. ma am !" Kate sighed and saids
-Ol dear didn't know twas YOU"
Oakland Echoes.
my physician has told me-" re-
marked Dumley to bartender, "that
must neither drink nor smoke; but /
guess light gin cocktail won't do me
any harm" no." assentel the bar
tender, 1T won't hurt you to drink oc-
casionally; but il were in your place,
Mr.. Dumley, wouldn't smoke. A
little later Dumley informed the cigar
store man of his doctors instructions;
but thought an occasional mild cigar
might be indflged in without serious
risk. ooh, think SO. the cigar dealer
said "but, Mr.. Dumley," he added, with
earnest caution; "if l were you, i
wouldn't drink. Puck.