The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-26
BRIGHT BITS.

A ROLLING PIN gathers a good deal of dough-
SOn,eyUHie Journal
On, why don't more men put an enemy into
their brains to steal away their mouths.-Puck
A MESSENGER BOYS DIARY Monday hired
Tuesday tired; Wednesday fired. "--NeWdrk
Sunday Call
THAT puts different face on it," as the
small boy said when his ball struck the clock
dial.-IerdS Sfti1lgs.
A HEN out West has just laid an egg "as big as
a BOWL First time we ever heard of a bowl
egged hem Cleveland Sun.
IT is STRANGE that Nina Van Zandt feels so
much worse now that the felon has been taken
off her hands.-NelO YORK. World.
WHEN the stove is cIogged up with cinkers is
it any wonder that the troubled housewife ex-
claims: Crates caught?'- Chicago Sun.
THE cable report of Russia's GOODNESS toward
Germany is exceedingly probable. Russia has
been borrowing money from Germany
Globe.
Mrs. CHARLOTTE Tubs, of Caroline county,
Maryland, gave birth TO four babies the other
night. Mr.. Tubbs turned pail when he heard
the news Minneapolis Tribune.
FIRST YOUNG LADY, see that Mr. Buffalo
BINS profits in London amounted to 10000.
Second young lady-Yes, and think, too, of
his position in society.-Tid- Bits.
WAITER take away this beer, it's muddy"
The waiter without stirring)-''You are de-
beer is excellent. Taste it. "-Jltdge.
A POLICEMAN at Norfolk froze to death on an
exposed street corner because he heard photo
graph was to be taken of it, and he wanted to
be in the picture.-Nelo York Graphic
A PHYSICIAN, a few weeks since, giving us an
account of the decline of church in his town,
said it had died of the "foot-and- mouth dis
ease" Being asked what he meant he said
that the people spent their time running
around talking about each other. "-Christian
AdUdnce.
MANAeER-How many acts did you say your
play had?
Playwright-Nine, sir 1t will please the men
greatly.
THE men? Howe
$50 many chances to get out, you know
Chicago NelcS.
A YOUNG LADY who had been married a little
over a year wrote to her matter-of-fact old
father in this city saying: I'VE have the dearest
little cottage in the world; ornamented with the
most charming creepers you ever saw" The
old man read the letter and exclaimed: Twins,
by thunderp'-GreenUA Herald.
''How beautiful" said she, tonight
Appear the heavenly orbs so bright"
Quoth he, Two orbs divine 1 see
Are brighter than the stars to me-"
And soft and low the evening breeze
Moaned round them through the chestnut trees.
OIL City Blizzard.
PHoToGRAPHER-Yo spoke in the business
notice about my being follower of Daguerre.
Newspaper Man-Yes, that's all right.
Photographer-Well it isn't all right. want
you to understand that I'm a follower of no.
body. I'm the great original jerks, and don't
propose to pay for any business notice that puffs
a rival It'd Bits
DE watermillion vines am shrinkled up by de
ole Jack Fros';
Dat mos entrancin' fruit am gittin' hahd ter
come ercroSS.
But nebber mind; dough wintah wins NAV
make er fuss an rob,
.s,.s
ez befoh. Washington Critic.
YoUNG Mr.. SISSY (who bas been at the piano
for over an hour to hostess) Have you seen
Miss Twillingham, my dear Mrs. HobSon; |
have searched both parlors and the conserva-
tory?
Hostess-Yes, Mr.. Sissy, saw her just as you
finished your last symphony; she complained of
a sudden severe headache, and begged to be ex-
cused.-Epoch.
YES, said Mrs. Bascom to her neighbor
Mrs Ponsonby. Il always admire Deacon Sam
uels. He is the most dignified looking man
when he's asleep that ever Burlington
Free Press.
CHICAGO CITIzEN-Hello, Jones! how is bust
nessY
Jones-Quet.
you don't look as bright and cheerful as
you used to-"
No I'm afraid amt as popular as used
to be-"
'What makes you think so?''
81 han't received an Internal machine this
week. st. Paul Globe.