Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1887-02-17
IOWA PROHIBITION.
A Typical Prohibition Trial-A Ridiculous
Affair.
Hus,1yjDg I'm \ TJbuDg

In listening to the evidence in the case
of the State of Iowa vs.. Wagner's beer,
yesterday, We were reminded of n trial of
certain liquors in u small town In Linn
county. Those who were present yester-
day will observe that there is similarity
in the style of conducting the cases. 1t
runs thus:
The examination of the first witness will
serve to show what the evidence of the
balance was, for being in the room they
took their cue from him and swOre just as
he did, each one trying to get off a joke or
two to make the crowd laugh.
Prosecuting Attorney Tell the jury
what your name Is.
Witness looked carefully from one jury
man to another and finally rose and shook
hands with one of them, whom he had
evidently not seen for some time, and be-
gan to inquire after the crops in Dakota,
when the attorney brought him to his
senses by saying:
Here, take that chair and tend to bust
ness.
All right; why didn't you say so?
Tell the jury your name.
The Jury knows my name, every man Of
them; don't we, boys?
The Jury bow assent and are amazed at
the impudence Of the attorney. The
attorney resumes in an air OF ~eXaspera-
ton.
Do as 1 tell you, and tell them your
name.
Dennis O'Brieu. then, d-u it.
Tell them where you live.
Where's the sense of that, now; every
man
Acknowledgements shouts
the attorney.
All right, | don't mind. | live in the
shanty foreninSt the
Oh, not that. What town, what town Z:
Why the divil didn't you say 50?
Tell them ;
Red Wing, d-n it,
DO you know the defendant in this
case?
An what's that, to he sure?
The defendant, the man who N on trla
here. Do you know him?
That do, and n foin, square man he Is
too; a for sight better than yourself, slr.
Answer my questions.
Indade / VIII if ye ask EN-.
Do you know his place of business?
BegOrra l do.
Ever get anything to drink there?
| did.
What?
| dunno.
What was itlike?
Yes, l liked it.
No; what was it you drank? Beer?
No, Sir.
Are you sure.
/ am.
What was it2
| tell you l dunno.
What did you call for?
niver called for anything.
How did you get it, then?
laid down me foive cents.
!, Here the crowd laughed lnOrdlnatel.
and the milk-eyed officer told them the.
would have to keep quiet or he woul'
put them out. Then they laughed at hin
worse than before and he gave it up ant
sat down. When they got ready the.
stopped and the trial went on.
What did you get for your five cents:
Cider.
The boys all laugh.
Was it bitter?
/ forgit.
Did it taste like this?
Pouring out from a bottle of the bee
which had been seized, the witness took 1t
smelled it, then offered it to the jury, SOM
of whom drank of it, elevated it above HI
head. and said to the attorney:
''Here's to you me boy" and the
g1asstul disappeared As though it had beel
6oured down q rat hole. The Informant
insists that the act of swallowing was no
used at all during the entire glass.
Well. did it taste like that? asked tn
attorney, when order had been restored.
u No sir.
How ives it different?
That Is better.
How is it better?
/ dunno.
Was it the same color?
No, this is darker and toams.
You say you bought cider?
Yes.
Was it better?
Yes.
Cider better?
l tell We, yis.
Now, don't you know 1t was beer yo'
drank there?
Srm no chimmist. / dunno.
Ibid it intoxicate you?
&What's that?
~SIntoxicate, make drunk?
SNo, sir.
4How much did you drink at one time
EAbout twenty glasses.
aNow be cereful, Do you swear yo'
drank twenty glasses without gettihs
drunk?
Yes sir, Just bring it to me an I'll drini
that many right now 1 can drink forty
I can drink sixty.
That's all.
Sir.
That's all; you are excused.
Sir. g,
Get up and so away; you are excused
We are through with you.
Why the diyil didn't you say 50. -.
The evidence of thirty-seyen more WI