Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-03-10
NAPOLEON'S VICTORY.

| Vow a Bright Little Darkey Punished .
Donkey Who Threw Him.
There was not such a mischievous
being on the farm as Napoleon Bona
parte, aged eight. If the cows got in
to the corn, Boney was generally found
to be somehow responsible for it, not
because, like Little Boy Blue, he was
''under the hay-stack, fast asleep
for he kept his eyes wide open enough
but very likely, the blackberries
tempted him across the road, and he
just forgot to shut the gate; or a squir.
rel hid itself beneath fence, and the
rails had to be pulled down before the
| frightened little animal was captured.
Then away would Boney run, to show
the other small darkies his prize, while
the cattle took advantage of his alb
sence to make a square meal of green
| corn.
Uncle 'Lias was the only person who
could keep the. young scapegrace in
any sort of order, and sometimes even
his authority failed.
For instance, Aunt Mahaley, Major
| Washington's cook, who had made the
majors cruel when he was a baby, died
suddenly, and soon as the news reach
| ed Uncle 'Lias, he started Boney post
| haste, to inquire at what hour the
funeral would take place. Now, so
grand burial as Major Washington
intended for his faithful servant was
scarcely more exciting to Uncle 'Lais
than to Boney; but. unfortunately, in
taking short cut through the 'briah-
PATCH" a rabbit crossed his path, and
he set off in hot pursuit.
Away scudded the rabbit, over field,
under brambles. with Boney close be-
hind, till hollow tree offering shelter
to the poor fugitive, it rushed into the
trunk and out of sight. The boy s
only chance was to gather together a
big pile of leaves and brushwood. to
kindle a fire, and smoke the rabbit
from its hiding place. He was anx-
iously awaiting tho result of this ex-
pertinent when an unexpected footstep
reached his ear.
A moment after. Uncle 'Lias had
seized him from behind, and was vigor-
ously applying some of the brush to
another purpose. Dear me! didn't
poor Boney catch it! In vain he tried
to escape by declaring he had seen the
funeral pass, and thought it too late to
60 home then. Uncle 'Lias was only
the more enraged.
Ode idee of neighb'i in sister bein'
laid ter rest 'dout spectacle mourn
er from our place a jinein' in de per-
cesshunr' said the old man, emphasize
ing his remarks on Boney's back, ZEN
all on count er ole rabbit pintin' his
tail at fool niggerr'
In fact. Aunt Mahaley WAS not buried
till next day, and Boney, by way
of further punishment, was de-
prived of the pleasure of assisting at
the ceremony.
This was Bonaparte's first defeat.
The second happened in this wise:
Uncle 'Lias said he must have horn
to call the field hands in to meals.
ut want no use er him hollerin'.
long es hawn could make twict es
much noise" he said.
When somebody suggested that the
big dinner bell would answer every
purpose, Uncle 'Lias said it wouldn't,
and that ended discussion. To satisfy
the good soul, Boney was dispatched to
bride the donkey. and sent off to town
as soon as possible. He carried
written order to q hardware shop for
"a tin horn and Il mail bag, which he
was to leave at the pnst-otfice for let
tiers, while he executed his other COM
mission.
Arrived at the shops. he delivered his
order into the hands; of clerk, and
cast his eyes around in search of an
instrument that would fulfill Uncle
'Lias' requirements.
The clerk politely handed him one
after another for inspection, but Napo-
leon Bonaparte, WAS not going to do
any thing rash, so he presently mus
tered courage to, ask:
kin Lies try dc SCUM er one desc
yere? Unc' LAS, he mighty pertickler
bout de.soun', en- he tell me eff / brings.
him hawn dat ain't jes' right in SCUM
dey amt gwine, to be whole hone lef
in my body"
Whereupon, be proceeded to- blow not
UflS,. bub utG liz AcIllS, lllltlI liat
clerk was obliged to request him to, Sc
lect an, instrument from those already
tested, or take one ON faith, as such a
noise would inevitably drive every Gus
toner FROM the shop. Thus adllred,
Boney made his choice, and after
stopping ait the post-offioe. started for
home.
About five o'clock he appeared upon
the top of HILL just in front of the
house. An enormousiy-stufked mail
bag hung over one shoulder, protrud-
ing like gigantic. carbancle. and
over the other was Borne horn well
calculated to perform the duty required
of it.
BY this time all the little darkies on
the farm had gathered about the yard
to witness Boney's entry. To insure
their admiration and prove himself
master of his instrument, our hero
raised the horn to his lips, and blew a
blast which fairly shook the hills.
Alas! 1.-The best laid schemes o. little
L. u l.