Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-09-08
OUR. ToBE.
The Mean Trick Played Upon the Boys by
the "Old Hypocrite."

The Mean Trick Played Upon the Boys by
the "Old Hypocrite."
An old and ugly yellow dog was one
of my boyhood's: proud possessions
He was certainly the clumsiest and
most useless dog ever saw. A cow
could brighten him so badly that he
would lie down on the. ground and
howl, and saucy little bantam rooster
we had could cow old lobe into COM
plete subsection, and ruin our flower
garden under the dogs very nose But
these defects in old Tobe's character
did not lessen his value in tho eyes of
nay two brothers and myself. He was
our own old Tobias. and. very dear to
our childish hearts.
We wept bitter tears when father
gave the dog to farmer living FIVE
miles distant, and when he drove away
with lobe tied down in his wagon
cried Justify.
But when got up next morning
there was old lobe asleep on some hay
in the barnyard, looking weary and di-
lapidated enough after his walk home.
He. was so lazy that the walk must
have been an exhausting effort.
WELL" said father, 'the old nui-
sance won't live long, any how He
must be twenty years old now"
A day or two after this my brother
JEFF came running breathlessly into the
house, crying out:
+NOld Tobe's dead! He's lying out
under the mulberry tree dead asa door,
nai1.'
My brother and I, and even my SIS
tiers, hurried out to the spot Indicated,
and there was old lobe lying stiff and
straight, with closed eyes.
'4Looks as though he died of sheer
Iaziness,'' said sister Belle. II guess
he get tired of breathing"
JEFF thought it looked like case Of
heart disease. and suggested fits
but jeff said lobe would be wrinkled
up more" if he'd died in fit.
Mother said something about ''a good
riddance'' that seemed heartless to me,
and father said he couldn't cry over
the loss of dog SO clumsy he would
fall over his own shadow in the day
time and eeeet scared at it in the night.
Preparsti6as DIRE Immediately made
for TobeHs funeral. The joy of dig
ging real, ''sure enough" grave COM
pensated us somewhat for the loss of
lobe. Some of the neighbor boys were
called over to enjoy the funeral.
We dug what jeff called a grave
.-good enough for anybody"
1t was wide and deep, and we lined
the sides of it with pie-plant leaves.
and stuck yellow marigolds and
punches of bouncing Betty" all
around the edge.
We decorated large, fiat hand-wag-
on of my brothers with black, and tied
bits of black rags around our elbows.
Only the pall-bearers were to be thus
decorated, but, as we could not agree
who the pall-bearers should be, we all
wore mourning badges.
When all was ready, we went slowly
and solemnly after lobe. JEFF declaring
ominously that if any of the mourners
''snickered'' they would ''wish they
hadn't" jeff was bigger than any of
the rest of us, so nobody ''snickered."
The grave had been dug under an APP
pie tree back of the barn, about fifty
yards from where lobe was lying.
We marched slowly toward the null
berry tree.
take off your hats and sing Halle
looyer, 'Tis Done" said JEFF, when
we were within ten feet of lobe
Eight shrill voices screeched out the
first line, and then eight voices cried
out, ''O-o-o-h!'
For lobe had reared up on his
launches, and was yawning awfully.
with his red eyes half open, and some
thing that looked like grin around
his mouth.
While we were gazing in dumb
amazement, he coolly dropped down.
stretching himself out, and went To
sleep again, looking exaatIy like a dead
dog.
II call that q mighty mean trick,
said JEFF. spitefully. I'D bury him.
anyhow, for half = cent"
Hell know it when we fix him mn
another nice grave like that, the old
hypocrite!" said Tommy Dean.
/ felt real badly for little while b,
cause I'd made up verse of poetry to,.
Tobe's tombstone, and now it wasn,t
of any use; but was real glad the old
fellow wasn't dead, aftea all.-Cnr;s.
tias Union.