Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1887-04-15
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.

Pretty soon you Will see "a little due
of Il bonnet" on a little goose of a woman.
Blobson found his little boy crying, the
other day, and upon asking him what
was the matter, the precocious infant
sobbed; con, pa Pm afraid there's 60
ing to be a smash up. Ma said she was
going to spank me, and she's just been
rubbing nitro-glycerine on her hands -
If this is u specimen of Weather Clerk
Greely's springs, put him out
Rochester, n. Y, is moving to pension
such of her policemen as become disabled
while in the line of duty. Several of
them, who have caught cold while sleep
ing in the open air, are going to apply for
back pay.
The washerwomen and laundry proprie
tors in Washington are having pretty
little fight over the question of which
shall wash the treasury towels. They
aren't fighting for the printing depart
ment towels, however,
a manicure who gilds finger nails, ad-
vises everybody to submit to this opera
ton, because it hides the dirt" Tramps
please take notice.
An Albany girl had her photograph
taken in IA different attitudes, and was
about to assume the 18th when she
sprained her ankle and had to give ii up.
Ten marriages are to take place at AL
monte, Ont, after Lent as the result of
happy associations connected with the
local tobogean slide. Good gracious
where is Burlington, with its three big
slides and shoals of pretty girls
The late princess of Sayn- Wlttgenstein
smoked strong cigars and talked meta
physics in half dozen languages. If she
had only been addicted to trowsers, where
would DIR. Walker have been?
An exchange has an article on tine
Rise and Fall of the Poet" One impor-
tant point is omitted, however, and that
is the length of the stairs.
We'll" said prominent statesman,
eve have to pay our fare now, but we get
there just the same"
William Bates of Whitley county, Ky,
has killed seven men with his own hand,
and yet he doesn't set up to be a Sulli-
van.
a lot of New York reporters have joined
the Knights of Labor. There Will be no
you hear of reporters getting left just
drop us postal, will you
Citizen, to sportsman Seems as
though your dogs tail is sort of banged"
Sportsman Yes shot Off, last sea
son."
There is young man in Buffalo who
has given handsome ring to every one of
his % girls. He is a street car conductor,
and is used to ringing up the fare.
A big pump factory was started at
Akron, n. y, April /. Just about the
time when milk came down to five cents
quart.
Are all the singers dead ?" asks poet
Guess not. We heard a pair of them on
shed roof, last night, that had few lives
left. Come around with your gun some
evening.
Mr.. Yates of the London World thinks
that Mrs. James Brown Potter needs re-
straint and repose." Exactly. She ought
to be put to bed and kept there till she.
cuts her wisdom teeth.
A new kind of ink has been invented
that will last forever and cannot be de
stroyed by any known chemical. All you
have to do is to get little of the common
kind of ink on the end of your nose, and
it becomes possessed of all these proper
ties.
A Canadian editor describes his contem-
porary as that freak against natures
laws sandwiched between weazened-up
soul and diseased Imagination" Come,
Come Our Western contemporaries must
brace up.
The Mauna Loa volcano is taking a
quiet smoke, preparatory to getting to
| work on another eruption. Her
dld
There is fair prospect that attempts on
the life of the car will in time depopu-
late Russia with the sole exception of his
| majesty.-N. Y. Graphic.
The knowledge that murder on the
high seas" is an eXtraditable offence has
| caused great CONSERVATION among deou-
| tante vocalsts. -LUe.
The space writing reporter will write
seven columns about nothing, and after
he has finished will run on for hours
about the garrulity of the female sex,
Consistency, thy name is not man.-BoS-
ton Transcript.