The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-22
BRIGHT BITS.

THE LATEST man in the country has been dis
covered in Connecticut He has 81, 500 deposited
| in the savings bank, but prefers to live on cold
victuals rather than go to the exertion of draw
ing enough of his capital to buy square meal.
Burlington Free Press.
IT WAS something like breach of etiquette
the other day, when Lady Churchill asked Red
Shirt If he liked London and the slaughter house
fiend replied: Gimme two bits-rne raise h
And Lady Churchill replied ''Ah. you poor
thing-so like Randy Omaha Bee.
IT'S no use talking, old man. 1t would be
simple folly for me to try to make up with her.
Sne ii never forgive me no matter what say,
for told her her new tailor-made suit did not
become her,
"Humph! didn't know it was as serious as
that. ''-I0tcn Topics
The editor of a French journal, in discussing
an alliance between his country and Russia,
said: For more than fifty years the burning of
Moscow caused O GOODNESS on the part of Russia
towards France. =" The freezing of Napoleon s
retreating army gave rise to heated expressions
we suppose.-1erGS Stftings.
Mrs. BUcKRUM-How's dat baby OBJ you'nP
70, wife was a-sayins tudder day ez how she
hadn't named it yit. Reckon she call it arter
yo', OBJ course
Mr.. Hodge Crabtree-Waal, nom only pa 'tlv
She goin' call i'm Willyum Crabtree, Willyum
arter her brudder Bill, and Crabtree arter me-
Hdrper'S Bdzdr.
Two of our little folks were seated by the
table few evenings since, watching a moth
said nothing till it flew into the flame and was
hasn't any eyes, has it?" II 'spect not" said
Berry. why didn't God make him sorneY"
ION, 'spect he forgot it, or else it jumped about
SO he couldn't fix EN- in."-Our Best Words
HoUsE-HUNTER Ito agents clerk)-But this
house faces due north. Mr.. Smart told me it
had southern exposure
Clerk-Did he? Well, am sure he thought he
was telling the truth. He's not the man to de-
ceive anybody. You see, he is patriot that s
what he is. He knows no North and no South,
ana, between you and me, | suspect he's a trifie
shaky on East and West.-Boston TrGHScrtpt.
Miss GUsHINGroN-Do you go to the noun
ta1ns or the shore this summer, Mr.. FoGg?
Fogg-Well, really, haven't thought much
about it, but shall most likely go to the noun
tains as usual
Miss Gushington+-Oh | should think you'd
rather go to the beach. Do you know that
think the sea-beach is perfect paradise?-
Fogg-Yes; the style of dressing at the beach
does remind one of the fashions prevalent in
paradise Boston Transcript.
OmAHA MANI see that Corcoran, the pbi.
lanthropist, has been stricken with paralysis,
and has slim chance of recovering.
Chicago Maxwell that's too bad; but he has
not kept up his record lately; / told him he
ought never to have left Chicago.
Omaha Man--Left Chicago! Did Corcoran the
banker, ever live thereg
Chicago Man lin disgust)-Oh, / thought you
meant Larry Corcoran, who used to pitch for
the Chicago nine.-Onldha World.
do you understand about notes of hand?"
asked one of the market whitewashers of a
stand keeper the other day.
Il think So"
wall had feler's note for 500 1t amt
due till de list of July, but last mite he paid me
half of it"
And you indorsed the amount on the back of
the notef"
81 did, heyP Was dat de way to do?'
OF course. How did you dor
Cut de note in two and gin him half?'-De
troit Free Press.