The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-04-20
HUMOR.

WHAT is vinegar without mother?
II is orphan 1ery poor.
The boys always take the girls out,
and the girls often take them IN. Such
is life.
WHEN are flower seeds like the
French? When they are terminating
(German-hating).
A LEARNED seal IN travelling men
agerie is said to be making an excel
lent impression.
WE often hear of the man who
thinks too much of himself. There is
no man who thinks too much of him
self-in his own mind.
"WE will sing the three hundred and
twentieth hymn" said the minister at
the close OF pathetic funeral sermon.
1T was fayorite of the remains.
IT is not so much in knowing when
to stop talking as it is in knowing how
to keep from talking at all that hui
man wisdom manifests itself. boston
Courier.
PEOPLE who don't know what to-
boggan slide is can get pretty accu-
rate idea by dropping banana skin at
the head of the stairs and then step
ping on it.
PKRoNELLA MAGuFFER writes to in
quire, what is the fugitive verse?'
l. fugitive verse, nowadays. Peronella, il
that which makes the author fugitive
from avenging editors.
a LITTLE boy on return 'ng from the
theater was asked: what piece did
you see at the theate", Tommy" Il
don't know. 1t was piece where they
shoot at fruit" He hal been to see
William Tel. "-Teras SiftingS.
"MY DEAR" he whispered, softly, as
they seated themselves on the tobog-
gan. "if on the way down should ask
you to be my wife, what would you
say ?" "What would you do if / should
refuse ?" she whispered back. Il should
have to let you slide" he simply said.
THERE is nothing that breaks up a
dude so much as the discovery that he
has been idolizing ballet girl-mak-
ing attempts to write sonnets to her,
thinking of her by day and dreaming of
her at night-who is the grandmother
of the young man who is the "boss of
the gang. "-Boston Coliri,r.
EASILY recalled: "Can you recall
the names of those two friends, my
dear" he said to his wife "whose affec-
ton was so great that one offered to
die for the other? Da-Da-the first
begins with D." "Oh, yes" said the
lady, placidly, "you are thinking of
Dan and Beersheba."
"YoUNG man," he said, in solemn
tones, don't you know that if you per-
sist in drinking you will never get
head in this world?" wont get
head?' repeated the young man
"Why, my dear sir, your ignorance
surprises me. I'll have head on me
tomorrow morning as big as barrel"
Chicago Ledger.
A CHESTNUT "TURN OVER
The funny man" we do detest
pesq Ieq no puv3s o. puq Gus II
Who aims ut us his ancient jest
Aoq9uos ~ ~ l95 p.sqs MeuH GA
joke ~ so aged, stale, and hoary-
peer 6p1eITs 0Qs W9od sIQL
The same old weary, dreary story
SulQlIBJ o. s3u9o usl 99q II, On MON
OF how we curious daughters of Eve
NOUS 10 pu!F lsB0I oQl sl9S Gus III
Though this latter tact We deeply grieve)
4oqouIos lno ~ pup Il. eqs leq noA 9ua
Must stand on our heals point TO find
:MouH OF lou lq5no GUS 0u!Qleuos SAL
In these colnical q? lines from the funny
mans" mind
u LiOm DuEu@huB boioQl
-ADlericdn Art Printer
A FARMER, hearing that money was
cheap in the city, came to see about it.
He entered a bank called for the CASH
Ter, and said: "Mr. Cashier, is it true
that money is abundant and cheap?'
The cashier answered in the affirma-
tive. "Can get some?" Certainly"
replied the moneyed man. well, just
lend me 500 for dix months" The
cashier said: "You can have the
money-we have plenty OF it-but it is
necessary for us to have collateral"
The farmer WINGED, and responded:
"Collateral What the deuce is that?"
The matter was explained. Then the
planter of the soil, illuminated on the
subject of political economy, with
broad grin rejoined: "Ah, see how
it is, Mr.. Cashier. Money is plenty
and not high, but It's this blanked col
lateral that is scarce and hard TO get"