The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-04-29

| uooD ADNlCE, URATIS.-lS IL Detter 20
put the best foot foremost, as far as pow
erty is concerned, dress, go out and give
parties, play tho fine lady or gentleman,
cash or no cash ; or is it better to o,on right
up to the sin of poverty, and trust luck for
being we'll treated?
Let's see: If ever VIC did reason a mat
ter, we would this, now but being only
one of tho weaker vessels and a poor
specimen at that; wo never did sit down,
with our long face on, aud reason like q
nadn-it isn't in us. We only Jump at
conclusions, and jump into hot water somo-
times; but We can boast Of having had q
rich experience, aud if anybody who is,
unfortunately, poor and proud, would like
to hear about our experience, here it is
The time was when wo had plenty of
everything, from cider to souce (and the
time rs, when we are not over-supplied with
either the extremes, or the betweens, in the
matter of 'faring sumptuously.') How we
happened to be so nicely housed and pctted,
was, even then, to US mystery for we
knew we didn't deserve it; but We found
out since that there are some t,co or three
others in the wide wide world, who have
had the good luck to fare better than their
deserts; and in this we have great con-
ISOLATION. Misery loves company, you know,
but about that experience.
Maybe VIC diden't sport as tall feather
As any ofour neighbors? What little sense
we had, passed at hundred per Ct over
real value; and We felt ourself privileged
character, to say and do whatever we pleased
for We had always the same good genius at
our elbow, whose name was cash,-who was
very agreeable to everybody, and we never
was quite sure who had the most admirers,
our,elt or cash. Sometimes zoe did feel
trife jealous Of him, and thought how
delightful it would be to be loved for our
o~n sake and not as his pro,egc. Perhaps
he read what was in our hearts, for he went
off ono day and never returned. 'Gono,
the oficous old fellow = wo said, without
crying; 'and now won't we have a good
time of it? We shall be loved for our own
intrinsic merit. come up nearer, dear, dear
9pRk sil y 81
hand and heart I!
But wat do you think, reader sWhcre
is cash, said one-'Gone has hep said
another. Good bye,' said the third,
fourth, a fifth, and five hundred. And so
they dropped off one after another, like
rotten apples from crab-tree. - And we
didn't cry then; but moderated our desires
and ambition, as much as possible, took
down our tall feather took to rhymes
and moonshine, and sang:
I'VE care for nobody;
Nobody cares for we.'
Well, after all, there are some pleasant
things about this poverty Qike sugar in
cup of wormwood tea) Nobody asks
you to trade on account nobody asks you
to help build Meeting Houses or educate
pious young men, nobody looks pitchforks
if you don't give dollar to the Hottentots,
and nobody cheats you, for you've nothing
to lose.
So, good people, one and all, this is our
advice, gratis: Don't hold out false colors
after cash goes off but just ring a bell all
over Christendom in honor of his departure
and cry Poverty ! till the woods ring; for
if you don't you will miss of seeing the
greatest racing and chasing ever you saw
herd Of roJooted bu6aloes an full fight
Excepting sic, We have found human
critturs dreadful scary'-(but please con-
slider this as confdential.)