The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-10-12
DEACON BURoETTe.
III. witty Talks Ont ~ Me"'f" oPo"
Timely Topics.

nj. v,,tv Talks Ont ~ Nes'in' Upon
TimeI, Tspic..
-pspa. said Ethel. 4 10 not think You are
inst 10 Nj Sophomore. w.is walking Win
him last night His head - full Of ideas
aYe. ve-." said the professor, and went on
reading the proof of boz. lecture ON Micro
seonic Thought" 1--we cannot realize ihe m
6ri,o lit,lenas- Of the cholera bacteria. when
we know that 3oOO0 ~. 90 Of them occupy
space no larger than pins head ies' yeSi
as Won say. be mas a great many IDEAS ont
thev are ---goe. on reading proof
xF'gR FAsHFD THE VOLUNTEER At A.
u am weary of This humdrum life, said
Calliopus why. what are you doingf
Tuning hurdy guriies shake am
writing speeche- on tariff reduction
BUr raRE 50 WELL, AULD THISTLE BES!
Young Mr. Sawbones, fret yea IN medical
college. seess an editorial headed The Dan
ger of Apathy incomprehen-lhle Y
norauce # these editors" he eNcams grand
Iy: -thev write about thing of which they.
know absolutely nothing Now. you take
apsihy in time and there isn't dangerous
feature in ~: the verie-t quack can handle
it Puts on his hat and goes ont 70 look az
ter a case Of inripienf inertia.
~ AIBLIys NIGHT DINA KEN.
LAWYER Bub.0zer-Do sou knoV anything
about George Thorpe Stupid Wimess--fes'
sir Lawyer b Alb, you do. DO you kno"
any gooi about him' Wiuess-No. SIT.
con. Won don't, Well then, do YOU know
ANYTHING bad about himr Wtness-No,
sir Then for mercys sake, what do YOU
know about him" II know be died twenty
years before ever heard of him.
STILL HAr A. STAKE
A Boston broker lost wallet containing
sij.0.0 0n the street and newsOoy found %
and brought 10 20 tine owner. The man
STRUGGLED with terrible temptation 70 be
mean .al -arlid for a moment and then
fors.t.in.. ..lf aud casting t. the winds bis
cr..,.i off gain AS he tramp.ed the temptation
uud.. ii. feet gave the honest boy perfnis-
sion fl -o ou the Common ami play every
DAY -Weran trust yon. -obbed the CRATE
ful ua.. -ae know That you will keep oh the
cfa.-. On. low often this opportunity to
mab. other, happy by kind word. gentle
smi'. or some little act OF kindness knocks at
our doors and ve heed if not. until 10 is too
late On. that more people were like the
Boston man. ~. S-1hey are.
WHEN HAME w MAKE
Where. oh, where has the young man gone
who graduation clothes put ON. some time
along the last Of MAY. and owned the whole
wide world for o days And where is the
sweet gill graduate who chantel an essay
dread with fate aud started ONT with gig.
Cling nown 10 turn This old world upside
down, And where is last years candidate.
VINO had things fixed for this years -.ate'
Who carried around, a. you'd believe.
couple of countie, in his sleevei And where
j, the scribe with a vaulting wil who tried o
lonc felf want 90 I'm. aud r0urted sheke, and
renonu with a minl0n paper in a bourgeoi.
town The lad has divided the world mp fair,
and mold, but his own eight biiiontn share.
the .neet grl grad is grand surprise. ami
conquer. tire world with veil made pies. the
candidate with the deathle-s gall D, fixing
himself FOR another fall. while the journalist
With the naughty crest ha, gone the way of
la.' wears nest So year Boy year and day boy
do, fne world runs on BOO the same old way;
fine balloon that De- biggest round about IS tine
fahne.' rag when The gas Is ont
IT. vAKs Al uNco' LEEwhY.
There i- one thing Ignatus O'Donnelly
might nave done very easily f he had
Thought of the might DO it yet-proye thai
Harriet Beecher Stowe didn't write fhe Uncle
Tom. Cabin that is presented Oh The stage
ten times week an through and between the
season lie could find plenty OF cipher-, boz
the ra-t. the two Top.eys. The Two Mark
tine two donkey. and tue latest company sn-
uounrcs two Uncle Tom,-these with the
-four meat hounds would give an ingenious
man rpner- enough 70 prove anything
AZ SWAT WI DREAD
co.'s here any benefit in monopohe.T asked
ihe telcher There is answered the smart
lai bly And what j. b." Owning an n
t..t-f bon one RE was kept IN two hour
REAL AND IMITATION BABIES
Boston woman come. ouf Doc print TO DEE
roaare athat nnguol dish wash. popularity
l..un a- baby ialk OBJ. well, that's 20 Boz
er,..,,i 300 Beauyile where Joseph Cook is
,rfed "a, model childs nurse and
p..Ysr, kindergarten teacher We believe.
firmly believe. chat a baby who' which.
tnat born wifh eve sia--e- and theory
/ sno,,i he called babe OF birth and al
dressed a- SIR or madam.
oar mu v0ul machine made hahe' I
/ knew ono Iona ago Ills name was Henderson
[ r...H.n ~rIlweather. and his parents called
| him ti..t when Boz was in hi, cradle Pie vas
hui 81 wears old when dr.t ] met him, down
hvfh. Illinois river He-aid 90 me: Excuse
me-. SHE bu. could YOU kindly eniighten nie as
/ 10 tie character of thu, strange booking craft
towarI alh.h our -tep~ are tending aud. also.
can ,lu t4ll me t0 whom does DO beioug|
cufch-d Cine little monster hy the neck and
held him under tle di,I-e boat f0r m hour
/ expected scene WITH h- mother. hui she
ont -aI thu Henderson ~a, very Tar
All .mced. hi- Uncle DenuI-0n dId not drown
u,fII he ul- l9 They didn't bury Heuder
son They pressed nim between tne pages Of
q Co.to D. Atla-. and ne iatfeued oat and
dn.i lust iae fern. That's what becomes
Of that sort of cni.drtn ava glad /
drowned him am iooanz around for more
liar him People nho aean tAe.r infant, on
dictionaries ulu do we'll Ed keep them under
elas, until ! JOSIE my fnmnunk NHgh.-
Brooslfn Eagle
Pictorial shakespeare.