The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-16
BRIGHT BITS.

Mrs. PorTER's stage dresses are said TO be a
| revelation" Most actresses costumes are
They reveal the wearer.-BiRghdmton Repub
| Acdn.
| AT Coroner's inquest the verdict was "Died
| from drinking too much whisky" dnosed
| individual present supposed to have been from
| Kentucky, said ne didn't see how that could be
| possible. "-Norristotcn Herald.
THINGS One Would Rather Have Left Unsaid
Prof Chatterleigh-By Georgei I'm SO hungry
can't talk.
! FAIR hostess ION hospitabie thoughts intent)-
Oh, m 50 glad.--LoRdon Punch.
YES, Honorius, a pretty face may drive man
| TO frenzy. In fact, it need not be particularly
1t shows that he has just seven minutes 70 catch
| train which is fifteen minutes distant
Binghdmton Republican,.
SAVING the pennies makes millionaires but q
little Somerville boy says that he has given up
all idea of being millionaire himself SO long as
bis father keeps up his habit of shaking the
bank whenever he wants matutinal cigar
SOntefUilIe Journal.
BRIT1sHER-And have you any--aw-pawk in
Cincinnaughty like Hyde Pawk. We know?
Miss Bacon-Any pork! Well, in good, round
numbers. should say about fifty thousand to
the square mile.
Britlsher-tlfty thousand square miles of
pawk! By Joye now you really surprise me,
Miss Bacon.-Hdrper's Bdzdr.
Mrs. HENDRICKS to caller)-No, l didn't read
the story, Mrs. Hobson. My husband read it
and told me that it ended dreadfully and l
don't like that style of novel.
Mrs. Hobson tsurprised)-Why II ended beau
tifully, and they were married in the last chap
Mrs. Hendricks with set look on her face)-
II! sneak to Mr.. Hendricks about it again
Epoch.
OMAHA DAME-Jane, our guest, Mr.. de Hunter
complains that you chopped up his decoy ducks
for kfndling.
New Cook-It wasn't for kindling, mum. I
thought they pair of chickens your hlIS-
band sent home, an l was tryin' to cut them,
mum.
of all things! Where was it you said on
worked before YOU came here?''
AT Mrs De Styles boarding house, um.''-
Omaha World
he said, in 4 low, tender tone of voice, land
NAV not hope that you VIII say yes, that
you-"
Smith, austerely: Il beg of you not to 90 on,
II is mpoSsi-'
THAT you" he went on, not needing her in
terruption, twill go with me to Delmonico's for
''Yes, said Miss Smith, without austerity.--
Epoch.
CRIxsoNBEAK-I think heat is conducive to
good music
certs given in the winter time?
True; but do not the birds sing more in the
summer time?"
Yes believe they do. "
"And does not the vocal artist sing better
when she has been given q warm receptiong"
II cannot deny it."
"And look at this. you old mutton head. Did
you ever know q tea kettle to sing unless 1t was
hot!'- YOnkers Statesman.
A HUNDRED YEARS HENcE.-First Lady Juror
There seems TO be no doubt that the prisoner
murdered his wife.
Second Lady Juror-Yes, isn't he handsome
Third Lady Juror-The poor fellow hasn't had
single bouquet sent To him to-day.
Fourth Lady Juror-But you know the ladies
weren't sure he was guilty.
Fifth Lady Juror-Of course not; they didn't
hear half the evidence.
Sixth Lady Juror-lf we bring him in guilty
what will they do?
Seventh I.adv Juror-Hang him.
Chorus-Horrorsi
Eightn Lady Juror--Why not say the second
degree.
Ninth LAZY Juror--Then they'd imprson the
poor man for life
Chorus-HorrorS.
Tenth Lady JurorIt won't do to bring him
in guilty at all
Eleventh Lady Juror-I'm afraid not.
Twelfth Lady Juror-Of course not. II he is
locked up we can't any of us marry him.--
Omaha World