The National tribune., 1887-11-24


all the comfort possible out Of it.
"Yes, he has" said, encouragingly, for the
old man evidently had q "Reminiscences that was
ripe enough to pick.
"That reminds me-" continued Pokeberry,
unsealing the fountains OF his memory and his
utterance by a salivary broadside which passed
the cuspidOr and the waste basket with skilled
accuracy, in order to spend its full force on the
foot of the desk - That reminds me Of q
Thanksgiyin' wo had one year over on Dog
Fennel Criek. It'd been our custom over there
to foller the Presidents advice to meet to-
gether, an with devout an thankful hearts
testify our gratitude for the manifold blessin's
which'd been youchsafed to Us ez individuals
an ez a Nation, by hevin' q gander-pullin' on
Thanksgivin' Day in purity little crick bot
tom not fur from my house. We had every
reason to be thankful in them days, for apple
jack distilleries WIZ ez plenty In the Dog Fem
mel Crick neighborhoOd es blacksmith shops,
an the best Ticker could be bought for two bits
a gallon. Ez for terbaeker it wuz ez cheap an
free ez corn-shucks.
"But the year that I'm tellin' you of Elder
Gamaliel Jaggers wuz ridin' the Dog Fennel
Circuit. He wuz q powerful awakener, tell
you, an when he got fairly started he could
make the tremblin' sinner really smell the
burnin' birthstone that wuz waitin' for him.
There wuz trouble from the day he begun to
ride the circuit. He worked on the young
women so that they wouldn't go to no more
dances with the boys, nor would they play
kissin' plays no more. Us married men wuz
or bad off ez the boys, for our wives wuz con-
tinually pesterin' US to go to church with 'em
on Sundays, instid O. spendin' the day pleas
antly a-fshin' or pitchin' hOss-shOes. When
one of us who wuz gagged for pint O. bald-face
whisky would como home very tired from tryin'
to carry a quart his wifed pray an cry over
him half the night an tell him how Brother
Jaggers proved by the Bible that the drunkard
was hanging hair-hung an breeze-shaken over
the mouth o. hell This sort o. thing made
Elder Jaggers mighty unpopular with US
men. Before he came we wuz goin' along
peacefully an pleasantly on our road to
damnatiOn, and il was monstrous wrong
for him to want to make Us miserable
an go to Heaven. We held several meet
ms to consider ways of squelchin' him,
but couldn't agree on no plan. The young
bucks of the HOskins and Virgins tribes, on
the head waters o. the crick, favored tar-an'
featherin' and ridin' him on a rail but us older
ones wouldn't hear o. no SIGH disrespect to
| religion, an recommended duekin' him in the
| crick. He wuz a tall, slab-sided, round-shoul-
| dered man, with big mouth an combed his hair
behind his ears. When he talked he begun
every sentence with a snifle, an ended with
| grOan. He wuz always palaverin' bout the
wickedness o. fghtin', an sayin' that it was
the Christians duty to be meek an lowly, an
| when he got belted on one cheek to turn the
| other one an git waxed on that FER, too. /
never heered no one talk in such white
liyered way ez he used to. Absolutely he
seemed to hev less spunk than Romulus Cicero
| Arbuckle.
"He managed to hear that we wuz goin' to
celebrate Thanksgivin' Day with gander-pul-
| lin an the Sunday afore he came over to the
white meetin'-house at the forks o. the eriek,
which was just below the place, an preached Q
powerful sermon agin gander-pullin' at any
time, an specially agin gander-pullin' on
/ Thanksgivin which he said wuz decoratin'-
no. decimatin'-no, that wuznt it either-0,
yes, it wuz desecratin' holy day. This made
us madder'n ever, an we decided to have an
| extry big time of 10.
Early Thsnksgiyin' mornin' me an Squire
| Tulkinhorn, who owned the only Niger on
| Dog Fennel Crick, an wuz consequently our
aristocrat, an Cap'n Warsaw, who fit in the
| Mexican war, wuZ on the ground gittin' things
ready. We wuz the Committee of Arrange
ments. i brought the gander in basket. he
| wuz a tough old yarmiut, which JeFusha AIMS
father had given US when we WIS first married
an / wuz tired Of his waddlin' an squallin'
round. / had picked all the feathers often his
neck till it wuz ez clean as the back o your
hand, an then I'd CREASED this with goose
| grease until it wuz good an slippery. We
| selected the same beech tree we always used, an
| which had q swingin' limb about 10 feet high
to tie our gander to. We cleared of nice
| runway for the bosses under this, an by the
time we wuz ready the people begin to gether
| in. There wuz men an women an children
in wagons, peddlers with whisky an ginger
bread an plug terbaeher, an young men an
women on hossback. All the young men were
goin' to take a turn at the gander, to show of
afore the gals. an all the gals were expeetin'
that their particular feller'd do better than any
| O. the other gals fellers.
"After we'd shook hands all around an in
quired after the folks an the crops an taken
eral drinks o whisky, Squire TulkinhOrn got up
in the hind end ola wagon an announced that the
sport would now begin, an appointed me master
o ceremonies. The young fellers who was
going to take part stript off their coats an
vests. rolled up their shirtsleeves, tied hand
kerchiefs round their heads, took the saddles
of their bosses, and rode round bareback to
the startin' place. / give the gsnders neck
another swig o grease an tied him by his
feet to the swingin' limb so that his head hung
down just high enough for man sittin' on a
boss TO reach easily.
"Then give Buster Virgins an Bud Hos
kins two hickory withes an stood EN- fore
nenst one mother on each side o. the path
bout % rods from the tree. with orders that
when each boss came by they should give him
a sharp cut, SOS he'd go under the gandeI
on the keen jump. Cap'n Warsaw got mp on a
high sycamore stump, where he could see every
thing, to act ez Judge. Then l told Squire
Tulkinh0rn that everything was ready, an for
him 10 give the word.
"'Lije Hathaway wuZ the fIst to start. He
wuz ridin' skittish young colt, an as Bud
an Buster give him lick on each side to-
wunst, blamed if the critter didn't jest mater
ally slide right out from under Lille, an
leave him a-settin' in the path, lookin' ez fool
ish ez if he'd been ketched suckin' aigs
Then Jim Padgett started. He was tai
E,Nk.zzz. an quick, an wuz ridin