San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1887-08-19

the preface 10 the Introduction OF the ninth
chapter OF the second volume. Miss Lila
with weary but heroic interesp-And are
you a good shot, Mr.. Staylatei Mr.. Stay
late (modestly)-Well, rawther; they do say
that yours truly spoils the bulls eye every
time he draws a bead. Miss Lila-l should
think you would make a splendid target.
Appalled, silence Of an interrogatory nature.l
Because you never would be missed.
DEMAND AND SUPPLY
Why does a young man wear a single
barrel, center fire eyeglass, my soni Well,
because that kind Of young man never
understands more than half he sees, and by
shutting Off one-half the spectacle he man.
ages to keep about half way up with the
show Does thee savyl Well, keep on a
savyin', and il you must wear minocle,
keep both eyes wide open and wear your
minocle over your mouth and you'll know
more and look prettier.
HELD BY THE EMMY.
"John B. Cough" said the avant courier
OF Hook & Gambrels Six Million Dollar
Consumedly Consolidated Aggregation Of
Monster Mammoth Mastodon Equescurricu-
lum and Hippodromatic Splendors, "was one
Of my dearest friends; he was always con-
vivial with me The year before he died
met him ON the train, and we sat for two
hours in the dining car, drinking whisky and
seltzer." THAT can't be true, though" said
the minister. Gospel TRUTH" said the A. C.
81 drank the whisky and John drank the
seltzer." And then he and the parson had
one the same way.
RECREATION.
As soon as the summer vacation was come
and the weather was torridly warm, away
from the city's hum and confusion he fed to
the rest of the farm. The scent of the clover
with joy he inhales, he leaps DER the fence
and he shrieks as on silvery rails he his per-
son impales and fractures the dome of his
breeks. The sound of the supper bell makes
his heart glad, for his hunger Is wolfish and
keen, but the milk has been SKINNED and the
bread is sad, and the berries are not to be
seen. He sleeps in bed that Is inhabited
and the mattress is lined with old hay; So
forgetting his prayers, he grumbles and
swears and fights till the dawn Of the day
He is called to arise with the lark, and he hies
to battle in the trough at the well; when
twelve hired men are through with it, then
the towel is his for a spell His ablutions are
done, he goes for a run through the meadows
so verdant and trim, when the bull comes
along, with his baritone song, and that settles
the meadows for him. With pleasure he sees
the industrious bees and finds them quite
harmless to be, but he finds it is warm when
he happens to swarm some hornets that live
In a tree. He goes every place till he poisons
bis face with the leaves Of rhus toxicoden-
dron, and he looks like a man who is under
the ban, for having been out a big bender on
He helps to make hay, but he gets In the way,
and gets plowed down the back with rake;
then he goes to the brook, for pond lilies to
look, and bites himself twice with a snake
In sorrow he cries, with tears In his eyes,
"rm the wretchedest man among men; il my
life can hold on till this summer Is gone, nj
never leave Brooklyn again"
NOTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT THIS.
"Victoryl 10 Triumphel Clay County Re
deemedl Glory enough for one dayl We
have met the Enemy and He is Ours A
Clean Sweep for the Right The Pride of
Goliad Humbled Forever The Valley is Ex-
allied Above the Mountainl The People Arise
in their Might Our Enemies are Smitten
Before Us! Eternal Honor to Our Noble
Nine! Hurrahl Hurrahll Hurrahl!l Score,
GA to So! Mass Meeting Of the Citizens at the
Square Tonight Everybody Illuminated n
Nay, do not laugh. 1t is truly American.
These headlines, in all the glory Of display, on
the first page of The Clay County Sentinel,
merely announce that the Flat Valley Red
Stockings had won the first game in series
to be played ky themselves and the Mount
Goliad Athletics.
SUNSTROKE IN THE CIRCUS
"Who is the gnoo party that has taken the
red cagel" asked the Cashmere goat, who was
counting up the receipts. "He's Hottentot,
said the polar bear, who was still wearing his
winter overcoat on account Of a cold he had
caught while sitting behind woman in pas
senger car last December, "and he brought
his climate with him." $50 did the monkey, q"
said the beaver, who also appeared in fur,
frankly admitting that his summer clothes
were pond. ale doesn't look like a very
harte best, }" remarked the lion, who although
he was no hog, always looked out for the
name chance. The llama, who came from a
Chill country, said these Hottentots always
made him think Of a nagur, whereat all the
animals shivered and the sacred COW, who
sang at Sunday night beer garden concerts,
said II the wild dog wood bark at them, IL
might peruvian tidote, something like canine.
You see, children, the intense heat and the as
ISOLATION with the funny old clown had de-
veloped rabies among the poor animals and
they were all stark, staring, gibberipg mad
Mad as Tartars. allow mad are fartarsl"
No mad thou silly giggler, nomad; go to the
ant eater, consider her ways, and live on your
relatives.
IN THE BIG TENT.
"Ah, here we are again, Mr.. Merrymanr'
ayes, sir; yes, sir; here we are againi And
here are all the good people crowding the
tent to see us and hear US. And the ladies,
sir-ah, yes, sir; the ladies-bless their sweet,
smiling faces, what would we do without the
lades2 They are the high candle and we
poor men the fiuttering moths; they are the
paper and we are the fy"- Come, come,
Mr.. Merryman, that isn't a very pretty com
parison, sir; that isn't a complimentary
simile, sir" "Ah, yes, sir, but it's true. She
the paper; he the fly. It's the fly's own fault
that be gets stuck on the paper, sir but
whose fault is it that he doesn't get awayI
The papers, sir; every time she papers He
struggles to get away with all the wings and
legs and buzz he has in and on him, sir, but
the paper won't have it; he doesn't cling to
her, she clings to him. Yes, sir; that's what
she's there for; yes, sir
''Oh when was lad,
My sagaciOus old dad
Said, Keep your mouth shut, Jack, and open your
eye;
Keep your hands off the taper,
Your name off O. paper;
| Be deaf with one ear, Jack, and don't be too fly
another banner for the ladyi And is the
Id -. III L