The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-10-16
DEACON euRpETTe.
He Explains His Views Of Life on Week
Days.
HOW TO MAXI KKYsY sPELIs

Mrs Whitegoods twearily)-l must see
physician, dear; have such bad spells ever
day Old Whitegoods dmpatientlyj-B $
has the typewriter girl at the Office and she
bright ms cricket all the time, Liyelier SD
u the worse spells she has
BE LAcT INFORMATION
Are you the cowf' asked the boarder from
town, pausing before the pump. "No," re
piled the pump, speaking through his no.s
like true American, Il am the milk made
Haw, haw, haw- And next morning the
awestrcken guest ate his Cruel in silence, nor
once complained when be found water
spider IN hi, cream.
"LOOR PLEASANT, you VILLAIN
Some philanthropists always make us think
OF IA story that is told Of Frederick OF Prussia
The king had way Of going around like a
common mortal and holding brief converse
tons with his subjects which were pretty sure
70 terminate IN some decidedly unpleasant
remark 10y the monarch. One day he paused
10 speak 20 a Jew, but the wary Hebrew took
20 his heels The king pursued, and after
brisk chse overlook thefying subject. aWhy
did you run away from me, rascalf' BE
cause" frankly admitted the Hebrew. II was
afraid" Fritz hit him a tremendous
whack with his cane; "Viainm he roared.
81 don't want to be- feared; ] want TO be
loved"
RIGHT FROM THE VIAL
A scientific journal has an article headed,
"How 10 Taste" We haven't bad time 10
read il, but our own idea is that il depends
great deal on what you are going TO taste. II
II is quinine or castor oil or anything of that
sort 1t won't require any previous training or
university education 10 enable you 10 taste
all YOU want Of il in one brief. hasty swallow.
The poor immigrant, who is still sitting on
green trunk in Castle Garden and hasn't been
ia this country long enough even % make the
Grafton az the constitutional centennial or get
on the police. can taste IL with one hand tied /
behind him. just as easily as John l. Sullivan I
or President Elliott or any other man Of sci /
ence But il 10 is something real good: some
thing that You like better and get Jess Of than /
any other man in America. Won want a neck
a yard long, full OF all sorts Of back stops and
dampeIs all ;he way down. That Is tine theory
Of an unlettered man who tastes by main
strength and natural selection. and If fair
Science thinks she has better way we'd like
W h'h w "ttN A'tANf ttt'f ii.'f A'A"N ANi AAh
COLD DAY IN SEPTEMBER
Family man. in great haste. iushes into
drug store big pawd'n-chemist's Can
you put thus up for me right awayf In an
awful hurry Drug store man reads pre-
scription and turns pale "Im afraid can't
do IL today. sir; II think we are out Of {
some OF the ingredients. Man OF family
takes back paper and reads:
Half n dozen safety pins;
Three nutmegS, G
A pound OF West Chester butter; Fl
One quart cider yinegai;
Two yards white flannel;
a paper Of needles; /
A box Of Rough on Rats"
This was the shopping list his wife had
,iven him. Then the prescription for him
elf that he had got from the doctor must
ave been the paper be threw out of the VIII a..
ow Thus does Jane w Nemesis. avenger ~
{ law, keep her CLASSY eyes nailed upon the
nan who needs the most watching ga
wANfSG PLAGUE.
abigail" want. TO know what is the best
'ay 10 iid a room Of flies Go into the next g..
Dom and try TO read, Abigail; they'll follow h
on. every last bu7zng crawling, tickling ! II
eggar OF em. II
THE ONE YOU SHOULD WRITE FIRST.
Let me tell you" said the contributor "a
about my first poem" u haven't time.n a..
nj the editor, gently. but with tinge Of
eariness. but I'll sit here ali night if you'll
Il me about your last one brooklyn I
agile.