Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1887-01-20
MIR. and Mrs. Bowser.

SATURDAY nl9DJ 5S we we're ClOSlHR up
the house and getting ready for bed. |
Shall we?' he echoed as he stopped
pulling off one of his boots to look up
MRS. Bowser you seem to be drifting
into heathenism! Of course we'll go
to church. 1t is our duty to set the
world an example
But it is such job for you to get
ready, you know
Il don't know any thing of the kind
If l can't get ready three times to
your once and with one tenth the fuss
I'll go off and kick myself to death!
While am not = so-called Christian,
Mrs. Bowser, propose to respect the
Lords day by going to church, and |
propose you'll do the samel'
'Oh, I intended to CO.
'Oh, you did? And perhaps you
were expecting me to stay home and
saw wood or play poker?'
We have breakfast at eight o'clock
Sunday mornings At half-past seven
| was up, and called to Mr.. Bowser,
who lay on the broad of his back,
with his hands locked under the back
of his neck
sY.e.sr he groaned.
Five minutes later I called him
again.
'Y-e-sr
'Mr. Bowser. It's quarter to eight.
Cant you let Teller sleep2'
But you are going to church.
At sharp eight got him out of bed,
but it was half-past before we eat
down to breakfast, and nine o'clock
before we got up. Then he went off
to dress, but it wasn't five minutes be-
fore he shouted;
Mrs Bowser, where's my shirt?'
'Why, in your bureau drawer, of
course
There isn'ta single internal shirt
there! I'll bet hundred dollars the
laundry hasn't come upp
/ went upstairs and pulled out the
drawer, aud there lay six clean shirts,
'Why didn't you say in the top
drawer7' he growled, and went down
stairs, to hear him, three minutes
later, calling to me:
Mrs. Bowser, have I got gair of
pantaloons in this house?
OF course you have Your Sunday
pantaIoons are in the closet
mo, they amt! I've looked the
blasted house from top to bottom, and
they amt to be found'
went up and showed them to hun,
hanging right before his eyes, At the
same time I got him collar laid out
his cuffs and necktie, and put his coat
and vest on chair I got ten
minutes rest before Ee beloved over
the banister:
Mrs. Bowser, if l was q wife and
mother and housekeeper I'd pay some
attention to my husbands WARDROBE
Whats wanted now?
This collar won't fit. You've gone
and let that swindling laundryist steal
all my collars and send me up old
rags in the place of them
I Ivent up and showed him his own
mark on every collar, and fitted one
10 his neck in half q minute. | had
got down and finished combing my
hair when he suddenly uttered war
whoop and followed it up with:
Mrs. Bowser, I've busted the buck
le of my vestl'
well. you must pin the straps to-
gether
I'll be hanged if l do. II you had
looked my clothes over yesterday, as
faithful wife would have done, this
could not have happened
I ran up and sewed the buckle on,
and had just got down again when he
called:
Did you tell the cook to black my
boots2'
why, no.
'Of course you didn't That's just
the kind of hair-pin you arel How
on earth this house has run so long as
~ LOS 10 g uyStOLy ~ AAO:
Icarried his boots out to the cook
and promised her a new dollar to
shine them up. By that time Mr..
Bowser came down stairs.
Mrs. Bowser, look at those cuffsl'
he exclaimed in a terrible voice as he
held them out to me.
What's the matter?
Matter! Why, I've broken both
my thumbs trying to get the buttons
into 'eml IF you were like other wives
you'd
I slipped the button in before be
could finish his sentence, and then ran
to dress me. In about three minutes
I heard terrible grunting and roar
ing in the sitting room, and Mr.. Bow
ser called:
BY the living gum! but why was |
ever fool enough to marryY
What is it nowp
Here's hay on my plug hat--lny
Sunday hat--a whole load of hay
sYou were up in the barn loft the
other day when you had il on, remem-
Der. IL will brush Off