Morning journal and courier., 1887-02-24
EN C.

The lobster lays AZ, 600 eggs year. Go to
the lobster, thou hen!-Philadelphia Call.
Philadelphia has policeman whose name
is John Seraphim. He certainly ought to be
Zone of the finest. Lowell Courier.
Sleigh dealers do not as rule employ COM
mercial travellers, still their runners are
ali over the country Bulletin.
Not every one is happy who dances, says
the proverb. The man who has just stepped
on the tack knows this iull well.-Boston
Courier.
Lulu Hurst, the electric girl of Georgia,
who recently married, may find, a few
months hence, that, with her magnetic force,
she is unable to draw her husband home
from the 'Iodge" much before midnight
Norristown Herald.
A Scotch Presbyterian minister who mar
ried couple of his rustic parishioners felt
exceedingly disconnected GU his asking the
bridegroom if he were willing to take the
woman for his welded wife by his scratch
ing his head and saying: Gay, Pm wullin',
but I'd rather hae her sister"
Mr. Ninks-I met an old schoolmate to-day
for the first time in forty years and we had a
grand talk about old times. Mrs. Minks-1t
was a man, suppose. Mr.. Minks-Oh, yes,
and as long as I've lived I never saw such a
perfect example of contentment and earthly
happiness as he is. Mrs. Minks-Did he
marry anyone I knowa Mr.. Minks-No, he
never married.
SsI say, Mrs Mockerrel," said Mr. New
boarder, isn't this bird little tougha"
Mrs. Mockerrel Gt being wash day)-'Tought
to be, eff 'taint. 'Gainst you've acted as
'larm clock f'r boardin' house nigh about
fourteen year. an then have to be billed on
the outside corner of range, you'll be
toughern this bird. 'Tis miracle we didn't
have to send for dentist to pull out his
Enthusiastically Eagle.
The meanest man lives in Chicago. At
the beginning of the month he made wager
with his wife that she couldn't eat quail a
day for thirty days in February. If she did
he was to give her new silk dress; if she
failed she was to buy him a new suit of
clothes. The guileless and unsuspecting
woman finished her sixteenth quail (after
heroic struggle with her rebellious stomaeh)
before she discovered that February had but
% days.-Chicago News.
f:You pay for coal when you get it now,"
said Carbon, as the customer gave his or
der ''That's all right" replied the custom
er, meekly, stwhat troubles me is that
don't get it when [ pay for it," And after
he went away old Carbon gloomily told the
driver to put an extra hundred on that ton
of coal for Hardman. 81 don't care" he add
ed, desperately, s'if you make it full ton;
put on 1 700 pounds, and if have to go to
the poorhouse and see my family starve, l
suppose I'll have to. Make it 1,700 and
half slate. e.'-Burdette.
He never spoke although too well knew
Why his cheek flushed, and why his eyes grew
bright;
| It was not hard for me to find clue.
Or guess the reason why he showed delight.
knew his story when our glances met
The winter passed, and summer came, and yet
He never spoke.
And when across the time worn old spinet,
Ny hands would idle DER its yellow keys,
| Twas love, knew that made his eyes grow wet,
And not the hslf-forgotten melodies.
was he silent
Because, you see, the was deaf and dumb;
He never spoke