Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1887-09-28

He Msditatss "a Dose of Rough on
Rats"
D,,oa Free Press.
Sergeant, maybe you know somebody
who likes to buy me 0udt?' said Mr..
Dunder as he entered the Central Station
Yesterday with a dOwu-trodden appear
anCe.
"Oh. It's you, is it?' queried Sergeant
Beudall a. he looked up. Got into some
fresh trouble, | SUPPOSE
Sergeant, | yhas broke all cop. Ii |
can sell oudt | dOau shtay here two
weeks.
What's the OCCASION
''Yheil, it makes me feel better il | tell
you. You know | keep a telephone i'll my
( blaze; | keep him to speak NIT my brewer
und to some aldermanS. Yesterday a man
/ who yhas as shlck ash grease comes in und
says yhas | Carl Dunder. | yhas. All
| right. Mr.. Dunder. der wires yhas crossed
upd your telephone doan' work. Sorry il
YOU yhas troubled, but | teex him right
| OF Well, he goes nit dot phone and taps
on der box und takes down der trumpet
und says:
"'Hello, central! Hello! hello! hello
! \ ,e.s! / yhas at Carl Dunder's. Can you
hear me now? Why, of course it he likes
to treat me dot yhas all right. Nice oidt
mans, und doan' you furget him! Veil
all right, goOt pye!'
Now, sergeant, | hat To ask him to take
a glass of beer, doan' l? II dOan' | yhas
no shentleman, eh?'
eco on
"Yhell, abOudt two hours later 4 second
man came ~ He yhas shiick, too. Ehas
| carl Dunder? | vhas. All right. Mir.
Dunder, dot induction was so strong we
has in q peck OF troubles. Let me see
how your telephone vbas. Ind he goes
GOD uud knocks on der bnX aud softly
says:
Hello, Bill, vhas dot you? No. Yes.
Perhaps. Why, | vhas down to Carl Dun
der's place. l second der motion. ! can
get two hOOnered votes for him for alder
man. Hasn't treated me yet, hut he
probably will. Well, so long
Now, sergeant, | hat to set oOp der
beer, doan' l? | feels tickled, Won know,
and | like to he a shentlemans'
II understand. What else
''yhell, some more tellerS come, und
doan' suspect pOpOdy until Shake comes
home. Den he SAYS il vas al old chestnut,
und dot | yhaS soft in der heSdt. Dot
makes me madt all CATER. Poorly qreek
snmepOdy comes VhaS Carl Dunder? |
WAS. All right. Say, Mr.. Dunder, when
YOU ring on der telephone your number
doan' drop in der office. Please allow me.
Und he goes Oop und rings und calls oudt:
"'Vhas dot you, Nellie? Alb! dere,
Nell. Does dot number drop down when
| ring? Say, vhas you going oop 10 der
Flats next SOonday? Guess where vas?
Not much! You WINS vhay OIL. | yhas
down to Carl
"Vhell, sergeant, dot vhas all | could
shtand. l slump on dot Teller und gi
him six weeks sickness"
Good ! honor your pluck
Sergeant, keep quiet. He doan' 20
away oafeT half an hour when my telephone
rings. Was / Carl Dunder? Ivhas. Dis
| vhas Superintendent ShaCkSOn OF der tele-
phone. Mr.. Dunder, you hat almost
/ killed one OF our regular repairerS, und
| like to say to you dot it cost You more ash
four hOonered dOllaIs!'
Nor
dot vbas So. / dOan't shleep two
winks last night, ind my wife says it
Will all come Oudt dot vhas McGarigle. y
1T was q bad mistake"
''Vhell, vas can | do? Shust like | tells
you, nobody vhas two times alike. Iyhas
all der time shaking NIT my boots, und
Shake vhas going into consumption. Ser
geant, if somepOdy arrests me let him be
very soft ind quiet. vhas so broke up
dot l can't stand some more grief. If you
see Mister Shackson tell him how it vhas.
Tell him dot / vhas all turned around in
dis country, und eafery time l kick at some
dead-beats he proves to be a shentlemans.
Goodbye, sergeant! Maybe | take sOmes
Rough on some Rats ind put an end to all
dis grief"