The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1887-10-19
"POOr" George!


'Tis painful to say that George Lautenschlager
is gone. Poor George. He was born mistake
and hasn't corrected himself since BIRTH We
should be truly thankful that George was not
born twins instead of an ass. l can ina zine
Georges loving mother and fond father carefully
raising the bed clothes and searching for the child
they found a mite form in much clothes-and
the fathers question. what is it?' The blank
expression of the mother answers the question
She doesn't know. He has the kicking propensi-
ties and natural instincts Of ass, but "his ears
are no. sufficiently developed remarks the
father. "Let's call it Jack" said the mother.
mo. every one will call it Jack. Lets call it
George. so it will be in respect like Washing
ton, the great man who discovered America, shot
the apple off Of his sons head, assassinated Lin
coin and proclaimed Xmas a national holiday"
answered the father. In this way it was called
George 1t has beeh called George ever since.
George made mistake when he came here. He
thought he could enlist for the winter and desert
in the spring, but the first spring after he entered
was rather late and George got so mixed on the
seasons that he remained here about IL years.
This was another mistake. All the assinine quail
tiles. characteristics and features developed won-
derfuliy with the exception of his These
were so small and adhered so closely to his head
that one would naturally suppose that lberality
was not one of his weak points. This SupOstion
was not a mistake 1t was a sad fact which defied
contradiction. He was ''small'' in every thing ex-
cept in girth. His mind was small that he
grasped but one idea during his term here. That
idea was that the warden responsible for his
being here. Poor George; an other mistake. He
left here with his whole being filled with desire
for revenge. and his trunk flied with cold victuaIs
He soon found reporter eager for any thing sem
satiOnal for his paper. To him George poured
forth his feelings and victuals. His assnine bray
was sweet music to the news-seeker. They step
ped into cheap beer saloon, George treated to
two pony beers and his toast revenge is
of the reporter and he said to George: Look here
pard you say they half starved you and did not
let you bathe at Stillwater?' well, yes; dot
ish yust vat say" well. l readily believe that
you did not take any baths but how is it that you
look so stout?' "Ah. veil 1 vas all right because
I'm so healthy. but you just aught der see a man
over there's he's all skin und bones. He's got der
consumption. do' Another mistake. Just when
George is getting ready to fire large death-driv
ing bomb into our camp the president very incon-
sderately comes to st. Paul and eclipses poor
George, and the throwing of his bomb is delayed.
Well hear from him again. Mr.. Editor. and that
hope will be his J. st mistake.
What pretty picture George and that reporter
must have made. Think of it. The poor reporter
trying to escape from the strong Odor of the-but-
ter According to Georges statement the
butter had taken a bath since George had. Why
then did the newsman cling to George and avoid
the butter? Evidently he was short OF news.
VOX