The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-03-27
ECCENTRIC L0UIZA.

ECCENIRtC LOUlLA.
Written for the indianapolis Journal.
Louiza is a very interesting person, and very
good friend, as friends 60, but she is possessed
of one very singular idiosyncracy, of which l
have been, and still, the unfortunate
victim I am utterly at loss for proper
classification of this remarkable eccentrcity
of Louiza, for its like has been
been able to find in all recorded
history or literature anything bearing the remot-
est resemblance TO it, Embarrassed by want of
all precedent, therefore, I only endeavor,
by such lame description as I am capable of, to
give faint idea of her singularitv and it's
lamentable results Plagiarism we know. is to
steal and appropriate to ones self the writings.
sayings and ideas OF another. Notable instances
are not wanting. Julia Ward Howe and
Owen Meredith clashing swords over
the authorship of Whom first love
we seldom wed!" Ella Wheeler Wilcox and
Colonel Somebody Joyce locking horns
Laugh. and the world laughs with you:" or
Will Carleton and forgotten individual wrang-
| ling over the possession of Betsy and Are
| Out"-this. indeed, must be dreadful thing
ones brain children torn shrieking from their
| cradles, and their beauties and symmetries ex-
hlblted to the laudation OF the unworthy; but
sadder thing it is to have brain -foundlings laid
| at your door, and in such lawiess. nigh handed
| irrefutable bodness that your breath is taken
away and leaves you not strength wherewithal
to cart the small usurpers to the nearest orphan
| asylum. In this wise sins Iiouiza and disas-
| trously, indeed, hath it affected me. Long and
| patiently have l borne with her; mildly and
prayerfuly have besought her to turn from the
error of her ways; humby and tearfuly hath
| she pledged herself to reformation, but again
| and again hath she panied and Illuminated me
until now, shorn of patience and stung
to resentment, l publish her to the
| world. 1t is my impression that Louiza
| aspires to be humorist, but hasn't the courage
| of her jokes She longs to make the world
| laugh. but dare not shoulder the awful RESPONSE
| bility; so she conceived the strange idea Of at
taching my name to her facetious pyrotechics;
| il they fall fat by the wayside and harmleesly
izz out their short exstences, mine be the ig
nomy and the dishonor; but If they 20 off brill
ianty and coruscate literally. hers be the secret
glory and exutation. How long Louiza has
been dashing madly on in this wild career of
guilty sngularity, heaven and she alone know.
| The browning stroke of revelation befel me
one afternoon when Maria and called TO
Louiza's pictures. She has been taking painting
lessons after the new method-a sort Of short
and-three-splashes b-hang-it-on-the-
wall process,and her rooms are full Of chef
| d4uvres of this kind, many of them easily dis
tineuishable from dollar-store chromos. One
fancy head had real Lolita Gufin twang to it,
and was generous enough to say so. All had
1ey .so Her on this panns
was real study, and ! gave myself up to alb
sorbed contemplation Of it. 1t was an ostensi-
BILE sunset-or moonrise as the taste of the art
critic might dictate. A real good looking sun,
or moon, was going down, or coming up the
case might be. near a very natural and lifelike-
looking windmill. Trees and ground filled the
other vacancies on the canvas, and air of
luminous repose spread over ALL was regard
ing this picture carefully but silently, not
wishing to precipitate immature opin-
ion in regard TO the incumbent sun or
moon, and thus wound Louiza's feelings. I
think now. however, that my indecision stung
her more deeply than pronounced error of
judgment would have DONE for she turned hast
lily to Maria and said: ELIZA told me the other
setting pumpkin lying among the weeds" /
was Mortified. "Why, Louiza," I gently said.
II never saw this picture before. and never said
anything Of the kind" eyes you did. !" persisted
looked much like butter cake turner's
that they made you real hungry" and over
wrought Louiza burst into tears Maria looked
| shocked and attempted defense but in vain
l could not persuade her that had not been
guilty of these unfeeling though jocu:ar re-
marks. Louiza's weeping biased her Judgment.
and wrought to frenzy by my false position, l
few into a rage and out of the front gate This
, and sbuns me. scorn Louiza and shun her
but learn that she is still going
on in her career of perfdy. saying
funny things and attaching my name to them
, / hear that the bulk of her remarks begin with
ELIZA says" and then she will wag her head
! gravely and say, Eliza is so amusing" Tt
me the consequences disastrous and distress
! ing. am saddled with the dreadful reputation
. of that rare being, the female humorist l an
I pressed to read papers before literary clubs OF
; i .s0mans Relation to the Comic Almanac o.
1.-THE Humanizing Influences Of the Lady like
! Pun" l am invited out to tea will
the insinuated understanding that I will brini
my sense of humor, as others take their knitting
E | or their rolls OF music. Nay, honor's crown o.
! honor! am even beguiled into attending Church
: sociAls under the mistaken impression that
am sort of patent back action. double edged
' gloom alleviator. On several occasions / hav
a been Inundated by receiving calls from differ
Q ent specimens of the genus celebrity who had
4 through Louizas misrepresentation conceived
i desire to gaze upon me and observe my methot
4 of scintillation. For my own exculpatol
let me solemnly affirm that / sat throughou
these vlsitations like drab bump on q drab LOG
q | and did not even flicker
4 So runs my world away. Louiza diabolicall
l. ihfctng upon my good name her Jokes, good
8 bad and Indifferent, and I sitting sadly in til
sombre shadow of reputation which abhor-
a | and yet find a subdued and melancholy pleas
a | in the thought that Louza's singular an
v mendacous conduct is unequaled and withou
/ a name. Who will furnish one? Plagiarst
= have We many, but what. oh, what is Louiza
It In Love with q Voice.
It Boston Record
D. Mrs. George Henschel has host of friends i
J. Boston who rejoice in her London successes
A. saoI Ill., D-,11