The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-27
BRIGHT BITS.

A YOUNG LADY at ball called her escort an
Indian because he was ION her trail' all the
time.-Hdrtford Sunday Journal.
THE Seabrook IN, H. Selectmen have decided
that hen Is not an animal. Wonder if they
reckon her as vegetable because of her crops
Lo~eH Courier
..AH good evening, Mrs. Brown. Is your card
fully % = -
mo, Mr. snythe, but my escort is, and If you
would kindly take me home would be so much
Obliged. Life.
How near akin laughter is to tears was shown
when Reubens with single stroke of his brush,
turned laughing child in painting to one cry
ing; and our mothers, without being great
painters, have often brought us, in like manner,
from JOY to grief by single stroke.-Ne,U York
Telegram.
''ARE you doing any tennis yet, Miss Mabel:"
mo, we haven't begun"
"But the weather is really beautiful"
Yes, it is quite too lovely But you see our
tennis suits have not come over from London
yet, so we haven't been able to open the season"
-Toton Topics.
THAT was vivid remark of an unmarried lady
living in Cambridge, who was being chaffed
about her state of single bleSSedneSS. Its
nothing to be ashamed of, being an old maid, "
said she TO her tormentor; but to be an old
bachelor like you is a disgrace in Massachu-
sets. "-Sonteroitle Glass; Journal.
MAY ask what the middle S in your name
Certainly, Mr. De Crashhe. 1t stands for
Shazzar."
''Shazzar?n
Eyes; Twas named after an eminent woman
mentioned in the Scrptures-Belle Shazzar."-
It'd Bits
ASARCHIsT--Wha that see on you? clean
shirt? Good heavens! l thought you were one
of us.
visitor-So am But took this shirt from a
worldngman's clothes line.
Anarchist-Well, you scared me for minute
Please pass that bomb till shorten the fuse
Omaha Bee.
LIKE my Irish servant very WELL" said a
French lady who speaks English like native
Il like Bridget very well if she would not try to
educate me. She knows am a French woman,
and she will persist in correcting my English.
For year she has made q point whenever l
have made any allusion to asparagus, to say:
''Sparrowgrass, ma am, av you please "-Sd1
Francisco Chronicle.
In some families cleanliness il. next to godli-
ness by several blacks. A Virginia woman
named Mrs. Miller, who had been suffering from
debilitated spine, or something of the kind
publishes a card, in which she says After
taking three bottles of the Alleviator did a
large washing which had not done for three
years before" A woman who was as lazy as that
needed medicine of some kind.-TerdS lSiftingS
Mrs. HOWE had perfect treasure" sent
from the cid country The first month passes
TreaSure-No, ma m, l find no fault with the
char-woman nor the bye that tinds the furnace
but the shtairS is very hard, nm, as We say
itself; me back is broke wild them
Mrs. Howe-Poor girl! Well think we shall
take fat in q month or two, and let the house.
(Three months later) Treasure-The washing
is so heavy, MAIN, I'm afraid I'd not be able to
take it anoder mont, wild the tree fires to make
every day.
Mrs. Howe-Oh, intend to put out ell the
washing and burn gas stoves in the parlor and
dining-room.
(SiX months later) Treasure-Yer wrruk.
iva, 10 So h.. 1,1s.
I'll be LAWN.
Mrs. Howe-Why, Treasure, what can do to
make it lighter for you?
Treasure-Wen. mann, if We was to sind the
slip of gurrl to bourding-skule, and yerself
and the master take yer males out and We cud
have mine STINT in.-HGrper's Bazaar