Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-07-28
BIG AND LITTLE BILL.

Big Bill s. Little Bill were combined
in the forming of strong evidence
that friendship, which is supposed to
be based upon Judgment, is sometimes
as capricious as love, which it is de-
clared, has for its foundation sort of
impulsive fancy Big Bill was almost
a giant; Little Bill was almost dwarf
They first met at card table-or
rather at q card cotton bale on the
Mississippi riyer-and, as they ex-
pressed it, hankered at once for each
others society. They became so much
attached to one another that they soon
decided to settle down together, so,
building themselves cabin i'll Chicot
county, Arkansaw, they began the
business of general merchants and
dealers in plantation supplies" The
very oddly of the firm was valuable
advertisement, and it is well known
that negroes rode at least ten miles.
Saturday afternoons, to deal with the
''long an short o it," The sign which
read as follows, Big Bill & Little Bill,
conveyed the only intelligence that the
community ever received with regard
TO their names, but, as people who live
in the Mississippi river bottoms are not
curious with regard to the affairs of
other men, no one showed those symp-
toms Of uneasy concern which make
life in hillside village the fit abode
OF Beelzebub. Of course, some one
would occasionally ask a question
something like this: Say, did you
fellers lose your other names durin' the
overilow? But about the nearest to a
satisfactory reply that was rendered
was the following answer, sometimes
delivered by the giant and sometimes
by the dwarf.
y eS; you see the water riz on us so
fast that we didn't have time to get out
but q few NV our buds, and we lowed
that it would be better to load the boat
with the most necessary articles. We
did think for a minute ur two that it
would be better to leave our dogs an
finish loadin' with out names, but
then, when we recollect what fine
critters they was at treein' all sorts Nv
yarmints, we drapped our names an
gathered up the dogs"
At night the two partners would sit
III little cuddy-hole at the back end
OF the store, and, smoking cob pipes,
would entertain each other till bedtime
Sometimes they sang songs of lively
words but of most doleful tune. and
sometimes they formed themselves into
sort OF Legislature and made speeches
on the condition of the country
Ten years at least were passed in this
way, and not difference of opinion
sufficient to cause the slightest lar oc.
Cured between the partners Some
of their customers declared that such
fri 1cl,i
that such cheerful agreement was
against human nature, but the slow
drag Of time brought no jar.
One day while the two Bills were sit
ting iii their store, waiting for Gus
toners. woman drove up on Il buck
board and asked for Il drink of water
and, as rain began to fall at that very
moment, she was invited into the store. |
She was rather good-looking, with long
black hair and snappy quality of black
eyes SO much admired by river bottom |
people. She was not backward in |
speaking of herself.
My name is Tidy Blake" said she |
land have come here from East Ten
nessee to teach school over near Fet- |
tesons sawmill, but / don't reckon |
there's much to be teached over there, |
only readin,' writin' an 'rithmetic, |
mebby, but it's no odds to me s'long as |
[ get my money for it, for [ am a |
widow woman with nobody to support |
but myself, it is true, but a person |
always likes to have plenty of this |
worlds goods, for as my husband used |
to say before he died, and do you know |
that | have been thinkin' of him for the |
last hour? for he popped into my head |
back yonder when a razor-bac6 hog |
jumped up from behind log and made |
off through the woods, for po Dan was |
mighty partial to razor-back hogs, |
lowin' that their meat-if you ever got |
any on 'em-was sweeter than other |
meat, but it allus took powerful sight |
of con, but Dan-that was his name
-allus had plenty and he jest nachully |
tuck to the razor-backs; and when |
he died he left two that eat me bOda- |
tiously out of house an home, an then
was so haungry that they broke into q
neighbours field an caused me to be
sued for slander-no, not for SANDER
but for damages. The SANDER suit come
later on and finished breakin' me up;
so here | am, with nothin' but a few
duds that air putty well worn, an a
moss III Il DuChuOdlu. " hdb wv
name of this here firm"
big Bill & Little Bill" one of the
partners replied.
whats your name?" addressing the
giant.
Big Bill"
so see, but what's your other
name?"
s.Wall, madam, it's been so long
since | used it that it's too much
kivered with rust to be reco nized now.
You're funny man; a funny man.
Have you got name?" addressing the
dwarf
..Yes'um, I'm pleased to say | have. !"
What is it?"
Little Bill.
sYour other name. Got one amt
you?"
Eye UNI, but / amt washed it i'll so
long that am ashamed to fetch it out y
.sWhat was your dads name?"
Little Buck"
-.Oh, you're a funny man; funny
man. DOM pretty well with this sto'