The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-08-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

AS every thread of gold is valuable,
so is every moment of time.
Der real treasure of dis worldt vas
so schmall dot Teller could shtuff EN-
all on der outside in of his heart. Pref
=epS Weekly.
"A poor little college does not make
man bigger by giving him a title that
is to be added to his name and become
a nuisance forever.-N 0. Picoyune.
-Four useless things when empty: A
head without brains; wit without
judgments heart without honesty; a
purse without money.-The Earth.
Some new springs have been dis
covered in New Jersey. The milkmen
there have reduced their price to five
cents a quart Boston Bulletin.
When peach tree has more fruit
than it can ripen, it quietly drops the
weakest, as man should drop his bad
habits in order to ripen the good
Pomeroy'S Democrat.
doctor" said Mr.. Timid, 81 am
very fond of the water, but don't want
to take cold; what shall do?" Don't
want to take hold? Then let go. Dol
lar'n 'alf, please. "-Burdette.
AN extensive practice.-Counsel( Ito
servant of young doctor) Had your
master large practice?" Servant
"At one time lady used to call every
day; but she is dead now" -Landbote.
So Annie is married." Eyes. She
discarded Tom and married old Gold
bugge, the banker. They sailed to-day
to spend their honeymoon in Paris"
honeymoon, you mean" - Town
Topics.
"A Kentucky strawberry grower
lost over $40 on one shipment by being
away from his place and the new man
putting the berries in the bottoms of
the boxes, he thinking they, being the
deepest, were the tops. -Hentucky State
Journal.
-Abjure slang sternly and upon
principle, if for no other reason, be-
cause it narrows your vocabulary. 1t
the favorite refuge of the slovenly
and the indolent. If your thought does
not deserve "a neat dress, keep it in
some back closet of your own BRAIN
Indianapolis Journal.
Young wife-"O. Mr.. Jones, I'm
so sorry Tom brought you home to din
ner to-day. If he had told me you
were coming I'd have had something
nice, and l haven't thing in the house
fit to eat" Mr.. Jones-''Now please
don't say q word about it, my dear
madam. You needn't worry yourself
particle. | take the most of my meals
at home myself. "-Pttsburgh Dispatch.
-Snb-Editor- ere's one of the
most senseless things l ever handled. 1
don't understand it at ALL" Editor
whats it about?" b-Editor-"I
can't make out even that. guess the
waste basket is the proper place for it,
Editor-''No, no! Put it in the funny
column, l guess, probably, that is
where it's intended to go."-Baltimore
Herald.
Spectator enthusiastically 81
Ieu you, SeHIleHleIl lnere is wealth. IN
the Great Argent mining country.
Rock fairly glistens with silver" Re-
turned miner-'I can testify to that.
There is fortune there, gentlemen.
Speculator-'Have you been prospect
in that locality?'' Returned miner
Eyes; just come back. l left my for
tune there. - inghamton Republican.
Plantation Philosophy.--De creates
truth is sometimes told by the biggest
liar.--I doan' kere how smart er man
is, de fust thing he knows he'll meet er
man OATS jes er little smarter.--Dar
is ez much danger in oberdoin' er thing
ez dar is in not dom it well ernuff De
dog mighty often runs so fas' dat he
falls ODER de rubbit and den lets him git
er way.--It's er putty hard matter
fur er man OATS got on er po suit o.
cloze ter be in er good humor wild de
worl'. De strawberry is nearly allus
sour when de seed bergins to show
ArkanSaW Traveller.