Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-10-20

that his most terrible challenges wert
unable to Withstand the offer OF
peaceful solution over bowl OF punch
His guileless talk and southern accent
his peculiar way of lisping and Other
physical oddities, gave to his daily
Odyssey . smack of the most genuine
comic buffoonery.
When the mania for fighting was
strong within him it was difficult "a
evade his mood. One day he would
enter coffee-housa, take his seat and
say to q near neighbOr:
'.After you. the Figaro. please.
'Sir," the other would politely re
spond, ..it is not the Figaro. but the
Constitutional that am reading.
''Oh! you would give me tho lie'
would you? Take care. sir, or by
Heavens! I'll teach you better man
ners."
On another occasion he would intro
duce like scene after this fashion:
"Now, don't keep staring at me in
that offensive way, please"
IL" expostulated the customer.
Lord bless me, sir, I didn't even see
you was looking the other way"
"Oh! then am liar. am II" And
Choquart would rise froni,his seat in a
threatening attitude.
Even the most peaceful persons could
scarcely put up with such insolence.
They felt like tucking up their sleeves
and knocking Choquart down. Nor
did he fail, at times, to meet with his
deserts. He more than once stumbled
on Tartar. His best known scrape
that way is worth relating. Choquart
one day entered a courtyard to chal-
lenge a master-builder, who was pump
ing water at fountain. The master
builder looked up surprised, caught
hold of Choquart by the scruff of his
neck, doubled him up, put him under
the pump, and soused him like dead
rat.
The story of Choquart's adventures
would fill . volume. but l will relate
only one, wherein I acted as his sec
ond.
One night, at a masked ball, Cho-
quart quarreled with a Turk. Cards
were exchanged. The following day,
Choquart with his two seconds. went
to his adversary's house. The Turk of
the previous evening turned out to be
a well-to-do upholsterer, who carried
on business IN the Saint-Martin quar-
ter. On entering the premises, Cho-
quart inquired after M. Ballu.
"What can l do for your" asked a
young and pretty woman, who came
forward from the back of the shop.
"Stuff and nonsense! / don't like
jokingin matters of serious Importance.
My name is Choquart. I come for an
affair of honor. A gentleman shouldn't
be made to wait in this manner. Your
husband is an ill-bred dog"
"Oh, excuse me, now ] know what
brings you. This is what have to say.
My husband went out yesterday to
spend the carnival, and it has made
him i'll. He is in bed. and spits blood"
Dear me-" remarked Choquart,
turning toward his seconds. ''what a
He spits blood, did you
say?"
"Alas! yes SIR" answered the young
woman, who seemed much affected,
and the doctor says that he has not six
to live
Dear me!' went on repeating
Choquart, splitting blood. How shall
we settle matters. then? Hasn't six
to live. Well, madame, I'm
not bad fellow. whatever others may
think. Now, listen to what have to
say. We are in January. aren't we?
Just so. Well. I'll give your husband
six months to be buried in. Ishall call
around and pay my respects six months
hence. If, in July next, your husband
isn't dead and buried, I'll treat him as
a knave and deceiver, and placard his
name in all the barracks of Paris
This threat, which constantly fell
from Choquart's lips. was a reminis-
cence of his soldier life. TIE thought
never suggested itself that an uphol-
sterer might not care the jingle of
brass farthing whether his name were
placarded or not in all the barracks of
the country.
One fine afternoon in July of that
same year, Choquart took hold of my
arm at the Varieties coffee-housc, and
said:
"Come along with me. old boy;
have a small matter which real
y must clear up without further loss of
time"
We took q road which led toward the
Saint-Martin quarter. and, as we
walked along, Choquart entered cir
substantially into the particulars of
the case. The upholsterer's day of
had arrived, and Choquart
was bent on finding out whether his
former Turk had paid the funeral draft
indorsed six months previously by his
wife.
If" soliloquized Choquart. "the
rogue is still alive. I'll cut off both his
sars. you know. I'm justified in so
1oip~ A., T