The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-19
BRIGHT BITS.

WILL you marry me?" asked Augustus. who
is matter-of-fact young man.
oh - she replied, fiutteringly, ask papa"
Certainly; I'll ask your father II you wish II,
put naturally thought you ought 10 know
best. ~ Washington critic.
Mrs. PERERBY TO new servant)-The last ser
want had habit Of going into the parlor with
her young man and sitting there the whole
evening. Have YOU young many
New servant-No num- but might get one,
with such inducements offered-Judge.
FATHER Who are the leading men in your
class at college, Tom
Tom--Let's see. There is Ed Pender can curve
ball around two posts; Tom Smith can kick
nine feet and two inches high and Andy Jordon
can throw any man in the university. our class
is going to make a brilliant record, father
Burlington Free Press.
WHATS a. foolkiller mar" asked little
Johnny
Go and ask your father, my DEAR" she re-
everything"
"A foolkiler, my boy" returned old Browne
CHANGING slyly under his paper at his wife, lis a
little thing called a cigarette. Judge
THERE'S something that l think will suit
you, said the real estate agent to the theatri-
cal manager who was looking for a residence.
Its corner lot with nice, roomy, light
house,
We'll, don't want it,"
Il see enough of light houses in my regular
business. WASHINGTON Critic
THE agent of Cincinnati grocery house who
went over to a Kentucky town to inquire into
the failure of a grocer, asked to see the books.
The grocer raised mis- voice and called to negro
at the back end of the store: Hi you boy,
bring out them books. Get those two lives OF
Daniel Boone; and if there's a Bible round
bring that. This chap wants to see our books,
and we want him to know that our books are all
to be sawn. Wal Street Ne,cs
believe
Yes, am familiar with four or five Ian
guages.''
What are they"
II speak French, German, English and Greek
and can read and write in several languages
that cannot speak tiuenty."
do you write Russian?"
NO, but do the next thing to it"
whats that!'
I'm practicng on a typewriter Lincoln
(Neb) Journal
AN OLD GENTLEMAN recommended ben Hur"
to one of his young friends, advising her to read
the book by all means Meeting him soon after,
she told him that she had inquired for it at sew
eral bookstores, bvt none of them had the book.
What did you ask for?' said the gentleman.
why, Ben She of course replied the lady A
few weeks later the old gentleman received an
invitation to the young lady's wedding, and the
bridegroom's name CHANGED to be Benjamin.
All said he, as he read the card, ''she failed
to find Ben Hur,' but she has had better sue
cess, IL seems, III tne search Tor her Ben. Dos
ton Journal.
Rich MEMS BRAINs.-Omaha lawyer have
just heard of the death of your uncle, whom
you know was an old client of mine
Nephew-Uncle's dead, eh: Smart man that
uncle of mine. Started on nothing and made
million after million without half trying.
Yes, he was a smart man, there is no doubt
of that"
"Smartest man ever knew. Saw him only a
few months ago and his brain was as quick as
steel trap, old as he was. You have charge OF
his will, beeve:n
Yes; he left all his money to orphan asy
lums'
He did? That will won't stand He's beer
half idiot these twenty ars."-OmahC
World.
The existence of a driver on a bobtail car i,
not happy one. The other day a couple Of
colored men boarded the step on the rear bu
neglected the usual trip to the contribution boz
in front. The driver jingled the bell that is useC
to wake up delinquent passengers, but to nc
purpose They rode as far as they cared to go
and then walked around to the front of the cal
and politely thank d the driver for the ride. Tn,
functionary stood aghast for a moment, anC
then whipped up his horse without saying a
word.
That's mighty provoking, isn't it?'' said
sympathizng passenger on the front platform
"Oh, that's nothing" was the philosophical
reply; there's lots of 'em gifts on and rides anC
don't even thank me. - WuShington Critic.