davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-08-18

"If the revenue diminished from in
creased habits of temperance the
amount of wealth such a change
would bring to the nation, would ut
terly throw into the shade the amount
of revenue that is now derived from
the spirit duty and we should not on
ly see with satisfaction a diminution
of the revenue from such a cause, but
we should find in various ways that
the exchequer would not suffer from
the losses which it might sustain in
that direction.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-08-18
The --latest Railroad Horror

The New York Herald of the 10Th
contained the following editorial:
The railroad disaster which occurred
at an early hour yesterday morning
near Piper City, H., overshadows in
point of distressing details anything of
the kind that has every happened in
this country.
The loss of life is simply appalling,
and although some of the accounts
put the total killed at one hundred
and eighteen and the number of the
wounded at four times that, there is
reason TO believe that, this awful re-
cord will fall far short of the reality.
Reports are conflicting as to the
cause OF the disaster, but one thing
is certain-the bridge through the
breaking down of which the fifteen
cars, with their precious human
freight were precipitated into the riv-
er bed, was on fire when the tIain
reached it, Indeed, investigation
shows that it must have been burning
long before the train was within miles
of it, and yet with nearly one thou
sand excursionists on board, most OF
them asleep, it was allowed to rush on
to its destruction. No warning had
been sent out to stay the dreadful leap
and the engineer was powerless, il
seems, to stop the train in its full
headway till it dashed upon the fast
crumbling structure.
But the most horrible part of the
appalling recital is that all this fright
full loss Of life, all this crushing and
mangling of hundreds who escaped
death in that dreadful crash, was caused
by the hellish design of tiends calling
themselves men intent upon the rob
berry OF the passengers A more das.
tardly tale of human depravity car
scarcely be imagined, and yet this
fact stands out boldly in the reports
thus far received-that the bridge was
deliberately set on fire to facilitate the
work OF the thieves during the slrug
giles OF the dead and dying after tn
train had gone to its destruction.
1t is to be hoped that when the ex
citement caused by the disaster some
what subsidies, and people who wer
on the ground are able to Judge calm
ly Of what they saw and heard, some
thing may be learned that will rob tn
horror of this damnable feature. Fo
the sake OF common humanity W
trust this may be so. The story 0
the accident" is appalling enough
looking at it merely in the light of a
accident, and presuming, as one re
port had it at first that the bridg
may have caught fire from the blazin
woodlands.
If it goes down in the annals Q
railroad disasters as one hrough
about by deliberate human agency
the stain OF the crime will be stigm
on human nature itself
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-08-18
An Embryo superintendent.

There was family on the train be-
tween Birmingham and Admission
who had come out Of the woods OF
Mississippi and were on their way to
some place in Georgia. 1t was their
first ride On the cars, but while the
wife and children were full of natural
curiosity the husband didn't propose
to give his ignoronce away. When
the wife asked him what kept the
coaches on the track he looked at her
with pity in his eyes and answered
"MNria, don't you know nothin
tall! They put tar on 'em to make
'em stick"
She was satisfied until we switched
in on side track to let a passenger
train go by, and then she asked
"Gordon, what do they do this for?
"Nother train going by, Maria"
And 40 we nave 10 glC OH tne
track?"
eyes. It's the new way. They
used to have one train scramble oyel
the other, but it scarf the passengers
so that they have adopted another
PLAN"
She looked up at the ceiling anC
then out on the extra track and re
Piled:
"You orter buy some peanuts of tht
boy, Gordon, and show the railroad
that we appreciate this extra expense
they have gone to, They must have
feelings as well as u.s."
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-08-18

So 1t Does.-Young Wife (petulant-
ly)-''Well, even if / don't come to
meet you every night as used, what
does it signify?"
Young Hushand-"That we have
been married six months
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1887-08-18

Suspicious Party Say, Mister
George, Skinney an me was up ter
your meetin' las night, and we've
been converted to Your doctrine OF
division OF property"
Henry George; "Well, Pm glad to
hear it, my good fellows"
Suspicious Party: eyes, an as we
two is sort O impetuous fellers we've
decided to put the theory to work al
once; so shell out an divide"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
Culinary Points.

The legs of curried chicken, if left
over, eat we'll deviled for breakfast the
following morning.
The marrow from beef-bone should
be removed in as large pieces as posi-
BILE. Marrow-toast can be made of it
for breakfast.
Whiting are nice baked in butter
sauce, with very small quantity of
shrimp sauce, little lemon juice being
added just before serving.
Although caper sauce is the orthodox
accompaniment to boiled mutton it is
equally good with roast. Those who
doubt should try the experiment.
A new cake strongly favored with
chartreuse is popular just now in New
York at tea and luncheon parties. 1t
is introduced under the name of Lien
nox slices
Ham water is excellent for soups
Macaroni, previously boiled, is a good
addition, and vermicelh is used with
advantage in white soups. A calf's
foot improves any soup.
Charcoal is really the only proper
fuel for broiling chops and steaks. The
purest gas.fame and the clearest coal
fire, are, after all, but Indifferent sub
stitutes for it.
Apple and watercress salad is new
dish. The cress is prepared in the
usual manner: fine sour apples are pared
and shredded, and mixed with the creSs
just before serving.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
The Rural church Fair.

So it came to pass that the ladies
worked. They made forty-seven FROST
ed cakes, 900 cookies, ninety-one plain
cakes, twelve freezerfuls of ice cream,
bought sixty quarts of strawberries,
persuaded all the papers to give them
long free notices, paid for job printing
with a twenty five-cen ticket, sat up
nights and labored with fancy work,
and ruined their chances of salvation
by putting prices on it, and likewise,
among miscellaneous things, pounded
ice, and walked around on trot and
waited on the table, and washed dishes,
and forgot to give the newspapers COM
plimentaries, and spoiled their best
dresses, and carried chairs and tables,
and tired themselves out, and finally
made themselves sick; all Of which,
without any exceptions or omission,
they did in holding church fair and
festival in aid of foreign missions, and
the next day when the reporter asked
them how much they made out of the
operation, they told him cheerfully
that by close figuring they found that
they had only lost about S7.3S, but
that they were going to hold another
week after next, and hoped to do a
little better. And then the wicked
paper came out and said that 'the ladies
who had charge of the recent church
festival report that they cleared hand
some sum, and are so gratifed with the
result that they will give others
shortly.'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
The Lime Kiln Club.
Brother Gardner Expresses Himself on
Fortune Telling.
Detroit Free Press .

'Ar' Brudder Invisible Jackson in de
hall tonight ? blandly queried the pres
ident as the meeting opened.
Invisible was visible. He was back
by the stove, and had his shoes off to
tickle his chilblains. After little de-
lay he made his way to the upper end
of the hall and the president continued:
'Brudder Jackson, de report has
come to me dat you ar tellin' fortunes
in your nayburhood fur de small sum
of two bits pusson.'
Eyes, sab, I'ze bin tellin' few
'As you hev bin a member of dis
club fur de las two Vars you mus be
aware of de fack dat fortune tellin,'
sellin' dream books an all dat sort of
nonsene am agin our rules. A pus-
son who sots out to hev his fucher
nredicted am soft in de head de DIS
son who take money to predict It am
a knave. I shall suspend you from
membership fur three months, an if
we h'ar dat you am still in de swindlin'
bizness you will be expelled fur good.
You kin put on your hat an go.
Invisible was badly broken up, and
there were tears in his eyes as he passed
out. When he had gone the president
continued
Il want to say 10 dis large, cultivated
and refined audience dat de fate of In
visible Jackson will be de fate of any
odder member who am found so fur off
his balance as to be runnin' after fortune
tellers, no matter how cheap DER prices.
Ny experience in dis world has taught
me:
&. If dar' was anything in good
dreams I'd hev bin an angel long ago.
g. If dar' was anything in bad ones
I'd hev bin in de odder place afore l
was 20 vars old.
g. 1t am very pleasant to be told
dat you am gwine to fall heir to great
riches, but dat doan' buy 'taters nor
pay rent.
a. Only sich men as hate work, an
only sich wimin as want an excuse to
leave home, believe in fortune tellin'.
&. If it am predicted dat a man am
SWlHC W HCV d SiCe1I P1SSS VI AuSh IN II
sot down in some saloon to wait for it.
Is. If it am predicted dat he am
gwine to hev great trubble he'll go
home an blame his wife an lick his
children.
4 warn you to let de hull buziness
alone. A dollar a day an steady
job will pan out mo- money in six
months dan all de fortune tellers in the
world kin bring ye in fifty Vars. Oar
am just as many good dreams as bad,
an none of 'em am WORT de powder to
blow up an ole hoss. Signs might
have meant sumthin' 1000 Vars ago,
but dey am played out now. If you
h'ar de death tick in wall it's
just as much sign dat you am gwine
to find diamond pin in the road as it
ar dat some of the family ar gwine to
die afore the var is out. Let us now
pick up de abnormal bizness of de
meetin'.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
How it is in Philadelphia.
North American.


Here is red headed girl, and there's
a white horse, remarked well-known
sporting man who was walking down
Chestnut street with reporter.
what do yo mean ? he was asked.
Didn't you ever hear that before ?
Every time you see red headed girl
YOU will see white horse
Half block further another red head
ed girl was met.
where's your white horse nowa' ask
ed the reporter.
There's one turning the next corner,
he replied, and sure enough, around
the cornor came white horse drawing
a dray.
They never fail, I tell you. I have
been saying Here's red headed girl
and there white horse for fifteen
years, and I've never got left yet.'
After parting the reporter met one
more red headed girl and looking for
the white horse was not surprised to
see car pass drawn by two of them.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
Stepping Stone to Success.

Learn your business thoroughly.
Keep at one thing nowise change.
Always be in hase, but never in a
hurry.
Observe system in all you do and un-
dertake.
Whatever is worth doing at all is
worth doing we'll.
One to-day is worth two to-morrows.
Be self-reliant do not take too much
advice, but rather depend on your
self.
Never fail to keep your appointments,
nor to be punctual to the minute.
Never be idle, but keep your hands
or mind usefully employed except
when sleeping.
Use charity with all be ever gener-
Gus in thought and deed-help others
along life's thorny path.
Make no haste to be rich remember
that small and steady gains give COM
potency and tranquility of mind.
He that ascends ladder must take
the lowest round. All who are above
were once below.
Think all you speak; but speak not all you
think;
Thoughts are your own; your words are so no
more
Where Wisdom steers, wind cannot make you
sink;
Lips never err when she does keep the door.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13

Making Glass Eyes.

Members of the Rubbi family of
Venice have been making glassware
and glass eyes for three hundred and
eighty-six years. The knack of max
ing artificial eyes seems to be an inher-
tied gift, as it is also a cultivated art,
of the members of this family. Mr..
Merriwether, having watched Signor
Rubbi make glass eye, describes the
process in his Tramp Trip Through
Europe
Two small glass tubes, one held in
each hand, are turned and twisted in a
very hot flame. When at the proper
temperature, the operator blows into
one of the tubes, and forms a ball at
the end the size of a plum, which ball
is ultimately to be the eye.
The other tube, a colored glass, is
used in making the colored part of the
eye. 1t is heated to the proper tenn
perature, and Incorporated in the ball of
white glass at the spot where the pupil
is to be.
This done, and the white of the eye
having assumed the proper creamy col
or, the delicate feat of making the veins
is performed. In doing this, heated
tubes of redstreaked glass are drawn
very deftly over the white surface,
leaving tiny reddish streaks behind
the veins.
Common glass eyes, such as are made
for hospitals, require but short time
to manufacture, and cost about two
dollars. But a fashionable young lady
has half-a-dozen eyes made before
she is satisfied, for some such ladies
have lost one of their eyes, and are
forced to have recourse to the art Of
the Rubbis.
These fastidious people are more par
ticular with their night than with their
day eyes. A different eye is worn at
night, as the pupil is much smaller in
the daytime than at night, and FASH
ionable woman would not think of en-
tering a ballroom with the pupils of
her eyes of different sizes.
Distant customers sometimes have
an artist paint portrait of the eye,
that the maker of the glass eye may
study it. Rich customers however,
prefer to visit Signor Rubbi at Venice,
that he may personally examine their
eyes.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
I'm Vanity Fair.
BY FLORENCE TYLEE.

Through Vanity Fair, in days of old,
There passed maiden with locks of gold,
And peddler opened his tempting pack,
Crying; % my pretty lass! What dye lack
Here's many ware
Costly and rare.
Come, buy-Oh, come, buy
In Vanity Fair
Silks and satins are not for me;
Lace is for damsels of high degree;
The lads would laugh in our country town
1t came clad in broidered gown;
But yet there's ware,
Precious and rare,
fain would buy me
In Vanity Fair.
'Pray, sell me, sir, from your motley store,
A heart that will love me forevermore,
That, whether the world shall praise or blame,
Though sorrow or joy will still be the same.
'Tis the only ware
For which care
Mid all the treasures
In Vanity Fair.
much it grieves me, oh Iassie dear,'
Tho peddler said 'but greatly fear
The hearts that loved in the old sweet way,
Have been out of fashion this many day;
And gilded care
I, all the ware
You will get for your money
In Vanity Fair -Chambers' Journal.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
Boarding House Chat.

'Why is marble cake so calledP
marble cake is so called because 1t
is marble cake-carved out of the solid
rock in Italy, and imported here at
great expense.
whats the idea of that ?
Economy. It's cheaper in the long
run. You see piece of genuine
marble cake will last a long time. Now,
here's piece on this plate that has been
in the house ever since l came to town
thirteen years ago this summer. Ex-
anime it closely, and you will observe
that it is almost as good as new. You
will see here and there some scratches.
They were made by strangers who had
extra good teeth. There's a spawl
knocked off that corner. That was
done by the Man with the Iron Jaw,
who was through here last season with
a circus'
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
A Book Agents Scheme.
Tid-Bits.


AT Friday evening prayer meeting
in fashionable uptown church recent
ly the brethren observed that a stranger
was among them. He was tall, lank,
sorrowful looking man with large feet
and three days growth of beard
After the opening exercises the pastor
requested any who might feel so dis
posed to rise and state their experiences
for the benefit of their fellow sinners.
The stranger Immediately sprang to
his feet and began as follows:
Il feel that it is good to be here to-
night ('Amen,' from several of the
brethern.) 'As 1 look around me I
find it difficult to analyze the emotions
with which 1 am filled. You are all
strangers to me, yet feel as though l
had known you for years. am sur
rounded by an atmosphere of congen-
iality. I believe that may speak free
ly and frankly-that 1 need have no
hesitation in saying to you all what l
long to say eco on-go no!' from
an enthusiastic deacon.) Thank you,
brother, Will 60 on. L am lntroduc-
ing work in this neighborhood which
is certain to find ready sale as soon
its merits are understood-a work
which every one of the intelligent men
and women to whom l am speaking to-
night ought to possess. Its price is
nominal, being but twenty-five cents
per cOpy. and it will be completed in
fifty parts. The work to which l refer,
my dear brethren and sisters, is
There was brief intermission, dur
ing which the stranger made hasty
and somewhat ungraceful exit, assist
ed by the janitor. Then hymn was
sung and the assembled throng soon
forgot the sad eyed man, who stood
outside gazing pensively at the silent
stars and murmuring: 1T was daisy
scheme, and blame me if I can see why
it didn't work.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
From a Girls Composition on Boys
Chicago Ne,c8.


Boys is men that have not got as big
as their papas, and girls is young wo-
men that will be young ladies by and by.
x Man was made before wo-
man. When God looked at Adam he
said to himself, 'Well, guess can do
better than that if l try again. and
then he made Eve: God liked Eve
so much better than he did Adam that
there has been more women in the
world than men ever since. x
Boys are a trouble. They are very
wearing on everything but soap. x
If could have my way half the boys
in the world would be little girls and
the other half would be dolls. x
My papa is so nice to me that l guess
he must have been girl when he was a
little boy.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
What it is to be Forty.

To discover sprinkle of gray in your beard,
And thinness ofcrop where the upland is cleared !:
TO note how you take to your slippers and gown,
And hug to the fire when you get home from
town
All, that's what it is to be forty.
To find that your shadow has portier grown
That your voice has practical, business like
tone;
That your vision is tricky, which once was so
bright
And hint of wrinkle is coming to light
All, that's what it is to be forty.
sleigh ride, a party, dance or a dine;
Why, of course, you'll be present you never de-
cline;
But, alas there's no invite, you're not "young
folks" you SEQ;
You're no longer peach, but crab apple tree
Ah, that's what it is to be forty.
daughter that grows like lily, queen,
And that blooms like rose in garden of green,
A dapper young clerk in a ice cream saloon,
Both dude and Ounce, is to carry off soon;
And boy that is ten, and the pride of your eye,
ls caught smoking vile cigarettes on the sly
All, that's what it is to be forty.
At twenty man dreams of powder and fame;
And he knows and he feels as he ne'er did be-
That man is fool till he's forty.
All, we're young and we're old, and we're green
and we're gray.
And the law of our living is change and decay;
Come, see the lone spot in the valley of tears,
Where your baby lies low in the cradle of years,
When no longer on earth he is forty.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
A Plausible Theory.

Wife-I think, my dear, that we had
better name the baby 'Bill.'
Husband-'Bill2' What do you
want him named that for2
Wife-So that he will be called will
liam when he grows up.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13

B9-San Johnsing: Miss SNOWFALL,
will yer participate in some noah ice
cream? Miss SNOWFALL mo noah,
Mister Johnsing. 1 likes ice-cream
once in while, but not as beverage.
Please 'scuse me.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
COunting-OuG Rhymes.

Mr. H. Darlington Bolton, of Trim
ity College, contributes to the Boston
/0urwaI0f Education the following spe-
cimens of counting out rhymes collect
ed by him from children and by cores
pondence:
One e-ery, two-ery, ickery Ann;
Eillicy, fallacy, Nicholas John
Quever, quaver, English knaver;
Stinckelum, stankelum, buck.
This rhyme is widely used, having
been reported to me from Connecticut,
Philadelphia and Cincinnati. 1t is
subject to many variations: English
knaver' becomes Irish Mary or Virgin
Mary some insert the word berry or
the word John before buck in
the last line. Ickery' becomes 'hick-
ory, 'stinkelum' becomes 'stringelum,
etc.
Ana, mana, mona, mike;
Barcelona, bona strike;
Care, ware, frow, Track;
Halico, ballicO, wee, wo, wack!-N Y. City.
This, also, is subject to countless
variations; Barcelona becomes 'tus-
calona, etc. One form ends in:
Huldy, guldy, boo, out goes you.
Ana, mana, Dipery Dick;
Della, dolia, Dominick;
Hitcha, pitcha, dominitchs;
Hon, pom, tush Central Ne,O York.
In some districts the third line is
given as Hotcha, poutcha, ,dominoutcha,
and in other, 'Hotcha, potcha, etc.
'Tush' may also become 'tus' or 'tusk.'
Haley, maley, tippety, fig;
Tiney, toney, tombo, mig;
Goat, throat, country note;
Tiney, toney, tiz Rhode Island
Eatum, peatum, penny, pie;
Babyloni, stckum, site;
Stand you out thereby Scotland.
Besides rhymes the character of the
above, i. E. consisting of mixture of
gibberish with disconnected words,
there are many rhymes containing no
uncouth words, but possessing, in gener-
al, jingle easily recognizable.
One, two, three,
Nanny caught flea;
The flea died, and Nanny cried
Out goes she l-DeIa,oare, Rhode Island, etc.
1,2,3, 5,6,7s,
Mary at the cottage gate
Eating grapes off plate,
IL, 3, A, 5, 6, 7,
This is given, also, 'plums' in place
of grapes, and garden gates for 'cot-
tage gate.' When cottage door ends
the second line the counting stops at
-four to satisfy the rhyme.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13

DagI have lived to know that the
great secret of happiness is this: Never
suffer your energies to stagnate.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13

BARLOW foolish it is to make fun of
the homemade hustle. There is not
a girl who makes her own hustle but is
backed by some of the most influential
papers of the time.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13
Holes in the Cheese.

Uncle Enoch, worthy and very
economical colored man, came into the
village store the other day.
Got any o dat York State cheese,
Mr.. Johnsing
'Yes, Uncle, some that's very nice,
just in
'Widout any holes in it dis time, Mr..
Johnsing2 p
'Holes7 Why, don't you like it with
holes in it2'
Il like de cheese, Mr.. Johnsing,
but
Here Uncle Enoch shook his head
reprovingly.
you done sold me too many poun's
o holes in de past, Mr.. Johnsing.'
Holes ! What do you mean ?
'Why, de las poun' O. cheese l
bought hyar was mon half-a-poun'
OBJ it holes p X0uth's Combani0n.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-08-13

la-If you keep pegging away, th'
chances are you won't 60 barefoot.