The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1887-01-26
MuGGlhs' ADVENTURES.
Most Extraordinary Tales Which Contain
ed One Indisputable Bit of Truth.


Most Extraordinary Tales Which Contain
ed One Indisputable Bit of Truth.
It is singular the hallucinations that
will get possession of q man when he
has been drinking little too much.
Now there is Muggins, a temperate and
truthful man as rule, but when he is
little .'off for he gets that way
once in awhile-he tells the most extra
ordinary tales Of his adventures by
land and sea-p,,re fabrications, all OF
them. He imagines that he has been
everywhere, met everybody and seen
every thing, when the fact is that he
was born and raised in the village
where he resides and was never more
than twenty miles away from home in
all his life. He has travelled Gin his
mind' altogether. He quite believes
all that he is relating while the spirit
is on, but mournfully repudiates it all
the next morning.
Then you wasn't on a four years
whaling voyage when boX?' said
man to whom he acknowledged that his
tales of the night before were all made
out of whole cloth.
"Whale nothin'," said Muggins,
gloomily. 81 don't see why | need to
tell that pesky lie every time ! get full.
The only experience had in whaling
was when dad whaled me. !"
'You said you went before the mast"
sit was lie; the mast went before
me, long enough. y
..Never heard more entertaining
story in my life," continued the man,
ethan you gave me of going around
the Horn"
'Well, didn't go around any horn
| while was telling it, did II"
'.You said terrible storm came up
| every body just frightened to death ex-
| cept yourself. The captain told you to
take the helm
| "Did I state where he wanted me to
take it TOP" said Muggins with bitter
sarcasm.
'.The thunder rolled, the lightning
flashed
'ln the pan"
.'And there stood the Horn, perfectly
erect and over one thousand feet high.
But you got around it.
"You bet did, would get around
any thing with quart of beer in me.
But it's lie, every word Of it Never
even saw the sea. ("
| ooh, but the whales you used to catch
You welded the livellest harpoon in the
business"
1--WE hung my harpoon the will
low" sighed Muggins.
"'ButI say, Muggins, continued his
tormetor, "therc isn't any doubt but
| that you fought in the Mexican war, is
there?'
.Neyer fought nothin', tell you, >
said Muggins, pressing his hands to hi
throbbing temples
What! w asn't you the first man tt
wade the Rio Grande, carrying the star.
and stripes high over your headp Didn'
you capture Santa Anna single handed
receiving the thanks of General Taylor
as you led your prisoner into camp BY
the coat collar? You said SO, yor
know!'
Il suppose l did, groaned Muggins
s.What fool man will make of him
self when the wine is in and-and hi
wife is out''
"Wcll, Mr.. Muggins, " said the man
II begin to doubt some of the othe1
statements that you made to me las
night. seriously question whether 70,
gave Morse his ideas about the mag
netic telegraph, or invented the tele
phone, or suggested the liberty statue
to Bartholdi, or knew Columbus in thu
old country, or went up in the first bal
loon, or was drunk
..Hold onw cried Muggins; 'if Isaif
Twas drunk there was one bit Of trutl
that told last night. Let's shake OF
that. y
SO they shook--each other, and part
ed. Texas Siftings.