The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-20
A PECULIAR POSTMASTER.
The Queer Old Man Discovered by an
Illinois Inspector.
I,,on, tbe Trnite4 States MaH

Illinois Inspector.
From, the United States Mail
A travelling post Office inspector went up into
Scott county a few days ago for the purpose OF
investigating certain reported crookedness. one
afternoon he reached small cabin situated
near a lonely road. He stopped, intending to
get a drink of water, and as he drew near the
house was astonished at seeing a slgnooard
bearing the following inscriptions 'Poost ofs,
An old fellow W. tn a grizzly beard and marry
chest,-displayed. as his shirt was unbuttoned-
came out and, merely holding to the inspector,
sat down a stump.
How are you?' said the inspector.
"Tol'ble."
Have YOU any fresh water handy"
"Plenty NV it down thar in the branch one
NV the bows shot my bucket all ter pieces, an
sence then ! halter go ter Their branch EN-
wanter drink. -"
Just then man mounted on a mule, rode
up and asked: Mr.. Plummer, got any letters
for mey'
Yes, thars one here, Bill Patterson, but you you
make you wlsh you hadn't come.
"Wnsh you would give 1t ter me ~
Eyes, and Their Niger wished that Their coon
would come down outer ther tree, but he didn't
come "
shut your mouth an say nothin', an
morn that, you'd better mosey away frum
here"
The man rode away, and the inspector, ad-
dressing the postmaster, asked:
why didn't you give that man his letters"
''KaSe he worked agin me when run for Jes-
tce NV the Peace"
Yes, but the government doesn't care any
thing for that
Reckon not, but do"
But you we're appointed to serve the people"
"Yas, an sarye EN-, too-sarve some Nv
them like old Nick"
"My friend am travelling post Office in
spector and"
IAN right, then, travel"
IF l report you to the Post Office Depart
ment. which l shall be very apt to do, you'll
travel"
Reckon not. This establishment b'longs ter
me an nobody's got right tor tell me ter git
''How long have you had this officeg'
Ever sense l built it,"
'Imean how long have you been postmaster?"
"Bout year, reckon. "
At this iuncture an old fellow, cautiously
picking his way among the bushes, approached
the postmaster, who upon seeing him sprang to
his feet and exclaimed:
"Whut in thunder do you want here, Abe
SMITH"
Come after that paper"
Didn't tell yer that yer KANT git 9"
Yes, but L lowed that yer mout change yer
mind
wall. hain't. When yer refused ter lend
me yer slide an boss tother week | told yer
that yer couldn't cit nothin' else outen this
Office"
I'm err goin' to git that paper
Not lessen yer a better man than be-"
AN that's abofu what think
"Wall, help yersef."
With agility surprising for such old men, they
grappled each other and began a desperate
struggle Abe Smith succeeded in throwing the
postmaster.
Now" said Smith as he began to choke old
Plummer "goin' ter let me have that paper?''
gurgled Yes came from the postmaster's
throat. Smith released his hold and suffered
Plummer to get up.
Wall" said tine Postmaster, as he stood
brushing fragments of leaves and bark from
his beard, "Ireckon wuz sorter mistaken in
YER | didn't know that yer wuZ such nice
man. Come in, Abe, an git yer paper, fur yer
have earned it like white man "
Amt that a letter fur me, too?"
"Yas"
KANT git it, Able Yer fit fur Their paper an
not fur Their letter"
Got ter have it, Plummer."
Not lessen yer whip ME ergain."
"B1eve l ken do it"
! ''All right, Able
They went at it again, pranced around
| striking at each other. Finally Plummer struck
Abe heavy blow and felled him; then, seating
| himself on the PROSTATE man. he said
Don't want Their letter, do yer, Abie:"
Reckon not, Plummer."
| IAN right; come erhead an git yer paper"
When Abe had gone the Postmaster turned to
/ to the inspector and said:
Want anything outen me?"
! mo, believe not"
"Ef yer had er letter here an I didn't want
| yer ter have it yer wouldn't argy Their pint.
| would yer!'
| Il don't think that would" -T
| Don't want no truck with me?''
None"
''Wall, then, good-b,I. Got ter go in now an
| make up ther mail"