New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1887-04-20
q Sure, sor. am are the winters very

you comfortable at home. and keep
your heart warm to, oulds Ireland.
And is there nothing you will buy?'
said another, Nothing, said I.
well, then she, cried. will Yer Honor
give me a shilling for a sixpence?' 4
am going to be married. sor,'' llsped a
mountain beauty, and me marriage
portion is pretty near made up, and
Pats getting very weary waiting so
long, my money is, all gone, said I,
when, quick as a. flash, / heard afriend
say to her:
Mary thry him on getting to'Amer-
lka.' =
Here is q terse, and vigorous bit of
English brutality he remembers:
No American can 60 through Ire
land without the inquiry being ever on
his lips, why do, the troubles OF this
people vex all the world? you ask
an Englishman the remedy he answers:
Leave the island twenty four hours
under water y
He gives the legion OF the. Giants
Causeway thus:
SIN the olden time the famous Irish
giant Fin McCoul had a quarrel with
Scotch giant across the water. The
Scotchman said he would come oyer
and mop up the floor with Fin if it
was not for getting his feet wet.
Whereupon Mr.: McConl, like the fine
ould Irish gentleman that he was,
built this causeway for his Caledonian
rival and greeted him with the most
tremendous thrashing ever given to
man. What was left of the Scot Mr..
McCoul generously set up in business
in a grocery, and the sea in time
washed away Fins. bridge to Scot
land"
He curtains the glimpse of Ireland
in this fashion:
"With one more specimen OF Irish
wit we will bid her adieu. Some
friends OF mine, and among them a,
disciple Of Bergh, werewalklng through
Cork and saw a boy Of sixteen beat
ing donkey. Said the member of
the Society for the Prevention OF Cruel
ty to Animals: Boy, stop beat
ing your brother!' and as quick
as a flash the boy answered:
4 won't, father!' said to an Irish
liveryman: Give me good horse for
a long ride All right, your honor.
The best in the world The horse
broke down in half an hour and Isaid:
You rascal, why do you cheat me in
this way?' ssSure your honor. that
horse is all right, but he is a very in
telligent haste, and knowing you are
a stranger he wants you to have time
to see the scenery AS was bidding
farewell to Ireland said to my faith
full attendant: tGood-by, Pat"
'Good-by, yer honor. May God bless
you, and may every hair in your
head be candle to light your soul to
glory well, Pat, Isaid, showing
him my bald pate when the time
comes there won't be much ola torch
light procession
In the Castle of Edinburgh he en-
courages bold, bad boodler:
"My canny and frugal guide said to
me: Sir, the tower is closed which con-
tains the crown jewels, and you cam
get in. The doors are locked Said I:
will a, sovereign open them?' The
half Of It will, sir!" He fairly yelled
in astonishment at the reckless prodi-
gallty of the offer"
He is g. moralist over Mary Queen
of Scots:
"She died with the same superb
courage as she had lived, and in the
royal chapel OF the King OF Bavaria ]
saw the pocket alter, no larger than a
lady's watch, with it's icwelled Madon-
ma and infant Christ, which had been
her secret companion and refuge in
triumph and despair. Was she guilty
OF her husbands murder? Upon this
question tens of thousands have
fought and gone to bloody graves
Let us pray that her troubled life end
ed. her spirit from it's tiny shrine
was received into all endless eternity
of rest and peace
He visits Nelly Abbey, near South
ampton, stands supreme The ivy
twines about it's pillars, hangs grace
fully over it's ruined walls Or swings
in and out it's grand windows. and by
moonlight it is the most weird and
beautiful place in the world. While
the roof is gone, and the interi-
or, the rest of the great chapel,
the chapter house, the monkish Access
| series are perfect, but it had no Wal
ter Scott. Only it's own homely story
is it's literature. It's monkey lived too
! ALSSiJ WAOlA UllC 1C1L NOl C1llO tllC lCtlll6S,
and it was suppressed and its lands
confscated. It's purchaser. Sir Bas-
ket Lucy. sold the materials to car
penter OF SOUTHAMPTON named Taylor.
The carpenter took off the roof, and
was warned by an old monk, who ap-
peared to him in a dream, that if he
attempted to pull down the church a
stone would fall from the window and
kill him for his sacrilege, and the next
day the stone fell. the holy fathers had
their revenge. and the abbey was saved.
When visited it all the sentiment Of
the place was destroyedb by a Sunday
school picnic which was lunching within
it's sacred walls. I improved the time
by studying what the British mother
fed to her offspring on such occasions,
and found that they were fairly gorged
with rich, black plum-cake. Yes ex-
| planned one OF the fond parents to me,
we do this one day in the year, with
i u L L