Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-06-19
In CENTRAL PARK.
NYEeONMUNES wITHNATURE, ESPECIALLY
HUMAN NATURE.
Noteworthy Things in Oresb and NOtOss-A
Mounted Par-Prsvailing Styles in Dogs-
Philosophy for Those Who
Are Poor.
Ee,p York World

EesC York World.
To the general public i may say that i
violate no confidence in saying that spring
is the most joyful season of the year. But
June is also a good month. Well has the
poet CALCULATED, 'tAnd what if 80 rare as a
a day in June?" though / have seen days
in March that were so rare that they were
almsst raw. This is not q weather report,
however. Istarted out to state that Gen.
trail Park just now is Shocking its very best,
and opens up with prospects of doing a
good business this season. A ride through
the park just now is a delight to one who
loves to commune with nature, especially
human nature.
The nobility of New York now turns out
to get the glorious air and ventilate its
crest. / saw several hundred crests and
cOats-Of-arms the other day in an hours
time, and it was rather q poor day, too,
for a great many of our best people are Just
changing from their spring to their light
summer eOats-of-arms.
One of the best crests l say was a nice,
large red crest, about the size of an adult
rhubarb pie, with a two-year-old Durham
unicorn above it, bearing in his talons the
unique maxim, Sans c~ulOtte, sans snock-
emonthegob, sans cry sipelas est"
And how true this is, too, in a great
many cases.
Another very handsome crest on the
carriage Of the Van Studentickels consist
ed of q towel rack penchant, with cock
roach regardant, holding in mis- beak a large
red tape worm, on which was incribed:
Spurious frumenti, cum homo tenor
row."
Many of the crests contained terse Latin
notices, taken from the inscriptions on
peppermint conversation candies, and were
quite cute. A cOat-of-arms, consisting of a
small Limburger cheese cOuchant, above
which stood o large can Of chloride of pot
ash, on which was inscribed the words:
"Miss, may l see you homer" | thought
very taking and just mysterious enough to
make it exciting.
Some day / am going to get myself a
crest. / am only waiting for something to
put it on. 1t will consist of a monkey
with his eyes knocked out and n bright
green parrot with his tail pulled off, and
over this the simple remark: I'VE have
had a high old time" or words to that
effect.
Not so many equestrians were out as
usual on the day / visited the park, but
those who were out afforded the observer
a beautiful view of the park between their
persons and the saddle. The equestrieImes
were more numerous, and one or two es-
p~ecially were as beautiful rs anything that
nature ever turned out. One young wo-
man, in n neat-fitting plug hat, looked to
me like a peri. 1t has been q good while
now since | saw q peri, but | have always
heard them very highly spoken of, and l
hope she will not be offended when she
reads these lines and find that l regard her
in that light.
Carriage horses are dressing about as
they did last year, except that pon-pon
tails are more worn, especially ut the end.
Neck yokes are cut low this year, 80 as to
show the shoulders of the wearer, and
horses in mourning wear their tails at half
mast.
The porous p~lastron is not in favor this
year, but many horses who interfere are
wearing life-preservers over the letlock,
and sometimes a small chest-protector of
russell leather over the joint, according to
the taste Of the wearer.
Polka-dOt or h~alE-mournipg dogs are
much affected by people who are begin
ming to get the upper hand of their griet.
| Much taste is shown in the selection of
dogs for the coming season, and many
owners chain their cOachman to the dog, so
that if any one were TO come and try To
abduCt the dog the coachman could bite
him and drive him away. A good coach
man to take care of a watchdog is almost
invaluable.
A custom of taking the butler along in
the seat with the coachman is growing in
favor for two reasons: First, it shows that
you have a butler, and, second, you know
while he is out with you he is not putting
paste in the place of your diamonds at
home. SO | had almost said that it paste to
do this.
The automatic or iointless fOotman is
still popular, and a young man who has o
good turning-lathe leg and an air of impen-
etrable gloom, can get a job at almost any
time.
Many New York gentlemen who are fond
of driving take their groOms out to Central
Park every afternoon for an airing. This
is a wise provision, for those who have
associated much with grooms will agree
with me that q little airing now and then
is Just what they need.
There ought to be q book of park etiquette
printed soon, however, for the guidance OF
its patrons. In the first place it should be
considered Outre for a gentleman to hire q
coupe by the hour in order to recover from
alcoholic prOstratiOn, and then sleep up
and down the drive with his feet out the
window. 1t is not respectful, and besides
that the blood is liable to all rush TO his
mead.
Drunken cab drivers, too, should not be
permitted to drive in the park, for only a
little while ago one of them is said to have
fallen from his high perch aud injured his
crest.
A park policeman should be specially
detailed as a breath tester to stand ut each
entrance and smell the breath OF all drivers
and all other patrons Of the park. Let us
enforce the law.
but wealth. HIS It's llbtiO SANiN
and we must bear with them. But he
lIone is indeed rich who is content and
who does not look under the bed every
night for an indictment. Look at poor old
Mr.. Sharp, with his stock of aldermen
denriciating on his hands-men for whom
he paid a big price only few years ago,
and who would not attract attention now
ON a 10. cent counter, while he don't feel
very we'll himself.
No, | would Lot swap places with j.
Sharp and ride through Central Park be
hind a pair Of rip snorting horses, witt
mourning rosettes on their heads and fee
that | must hurry back 10 help select an
unprejudiced jury. would rather hang
on 70 the brow Of q Broadway car till l gOt
to Rfty-second street, and then stroll ovei
to the menagerie and feed red pepper t.
the Sacred Cow and have n good, plain,
ouiet time than to wear fine clothes and bt
wealthy and hate myself all the time. J
believe that l am happier in my