The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-10-05
PITH AND P0INT.

Dry goods Crackers. " ... " 7''
The salient features of regatta arc
the yachts.-Pittsbrg Chronicle. 49,. d.,
The flower of the family you will often
find becomes college bred.-Stdtesnsan. -
See; the, man holds up the post. u
thepest loose { Nc, the man is tight
WatmtoWn HeraM ''
A seumon and o. hornet resemble each
other in that they both have conclud-
ing point.-DanoiNs Breeze. ..,..-r..... ..
By . wise provision of Providence,
close beside the little tree on which nut
megs grow, often stands q greater. e: '...
The reason drunken men seldom 60
down IS because the whisky makes thsif
head swim-Dullth Photographer.
Advice to young ladies who are setting
their caps: Use percussion caps 80 that
the espop" may be heard.-Ns~ Haosa
Nssss. ., ... -...
ssButter is upn says market report.
Exactly. We have seen butter that no
four men could hold down.-Burlington
Fres Press.
"There is tied in the affairs Of men
that leads on to fortune" said the poor
Young man as he married the heiress.-
Boston Post.
The game laws are very rigidly en-,
forced at the West. If a man is caught
cheating at poker he is shot across the
table.-Boston Aduertser. ...
eyes, I'm tired of life. I've about
made up my mind to commit suicide"
"Good scheme, old fellow; have another
cigarette. - Washington Critic. .
The President cannot attend the fair
at Dallas, and he thus deliberately fore
goes the pleasure of seeing the only
genuine fve-legged calf in the world
Dallas (Tera) Nsps.
Fond Wife, Would you believe that
Mrs. Eccles, next door, speaks seven
languages ~ Fond Husband-"Ce..s
tainly would; she's got tongue enough
to speak fifty.-Harpers Bazar.
"Bessie, 1 hear your sister is sick.
What aiIs her 2" ~ don't know, ma'am.
Maybe it's the diploma" "The what,
child 2" "The diploma. I heard mother
say that she took it at school. "-Isn'ss-
Democrat.
When little Bessie was taken to the
menagerie, the first thing her eyes Lighted
on was the Bactrian camel. "Oh,
mamma !" she exclaimed, "look at thas
COW with two bustles on !"-Burtangton
Free Press. --.....
Cashiers Wife (reading)-"The adj
vantaycs of paper are in its lack OF bulk:
A man could easily carry $40, 900, 600 i
in O,OOO bills. Cashier (meditatlvelyl
-"Wcl, we'll. never thought OF It."
Omaha World.
"Waitcr, have you got any chicken
salad2" "Sorry, sir, but we were disap'
pointed in the arrival Of our veal this
morning; but we had some mud-turtle
come in, aud I can give you some nice
terrapin stew.'-Boston Courier.
"Thcy are just running the thing into
the ground" observed Amy, IN a discus
sion ON some topic of mutual interest.
yes" replied the high-school girl, II
think myself that they are forcibly pro-
icctipg it into terra tirma. ."-Pttsburg
Chronicle.
A tortoise recently found had engraved
on its shell, "Adam, year l." The man
on whose property the tortoise was found
recognized Adams signature. Adam
used to drive team for him, but he can
not imagine why he didn't add the other
three figures -Ss6.-Noristown Herald.
THEIR PROSPECTS SPOILED.
They thought to have cottage neat
With honeysuckles twining,
And live in lovers transports sweet,
All other cares resigning
The goal Of peace they thought to win
And happily through life to Jog,
And so they might, had it not been
For papa and the dog.