Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1887-06-29
FOR TIRED PEOPLE.
GOT THERE FIRST

ss FOR TIRED PEOPLE.
GOT THERE FIRST.
''I've seen men too mean to lend. a
dollar" said Wigwug-
$50 have /, D replied Filtrip. Sand,
by the way, can't you let me have a
dollar now for a few daysp,'
BOUNDS, man! I was just preparing
to ask you for fve!' sz s='l
VERY. WARN. FRIENDS. dbl s.
''Good-by, old boy. Tn sorry you've
got to leave us. .... Ell ii ..t..@.I
''Fate has decreed it, my friend, and
am as content to leave the world now
as 1 ever should be. - <' g.. l.'@z
"And you have no shadow of ill-will
toward me at parting, have you?''' ~.
.s'No, indeed, sir. We have always
been warm friends in this world, and l
am sure we shall be warmer ones in the
next. "-Yoakeqs Gazette. 81. j.
PROGRESS IN DAKOTA.
1.-Two new railroads coming here, I
understand" said a Dakota man to an
other resident of the sameplace..
Eyes, and there came mighty near
being three.'' 80 e
+. elbows that?'' -.*~-
"Why, five of us organized new
company Yesterday with the intention
OF running tracks out of;this. town like
;spokes out of the hub of a bicycle
wheel, but we tried all day, and
couldn't raise the So necessary TO get
incorporated. We hope to make it up
this afternoon. Look out for three
columns in tomorrow mornings paper.
Bell.
A NOVEL SITUATION.
eyes, SIR" he said with emphasis, Il
want excitement. I am tired of this
humdrum life on a. Northern railroad. y
"Young man. observed an old gen
tleman in back seat, II was in
Charleston, S. Co.. the other day, and
they are looking for just such a man
as YOU" +
"What forp" asked the young man
who yearned for excitement.
ITO brake no., an earthquake" repli-
ed the old gentleman.
49,. WANTED 1T AFTER ALL.
Wife TO husband)-Don't you want
to see the evening paper?
Husband--No, believe not. Nothing
in it, is therep
Wife-Yes; it tells of the President s
prospective vacation this summer.
Husband-Don't want it.
Wife-And q terrible railroad acct
dent.
Husband-Don't want 1t, l tell you.
Wife-And another attemptto kill an
Irish editor, and how Sarah Bernhard
shocked society at Omaha
Husband-I tell you that I don't
want to see it.
We. Wife-And it tells of the adjourn.
ment of the Legislature, and
Husband (excitedly)-aand it here,
please.
3, A PARTING REQUEST.
Mistress ST am sorry to have you
leave me, Mary. Il @5.e
Mary I am sorry to go. There
isn't any one I'd sooner do a favor for.
Mistress All, indeed! Then won't
you be so kind as to give me recon-
mendation to hand to the next cook
who applies? Harper's Baza1'.
SHE CHANGED HER MIND.
Mrs.. Pious-s'I do wish Mr.. Nc
Shorter, that you would come up and
see my husband. He is very ill, and
I am afraid he will die without expe-
riencing religion. Don'tyou think you
can convince him of the necessity of
atoning for his past neglect?"
Rev. McSnorter-I will try, Mrs.
Pious. I will come up this afternoon
and see if I can't induce him to leave
some of his fortune to the new theolog-
ical seminary.
Mrs. Pious (hastily) on second
thought, Mr.. McSnorter, I don't believe
your presence will be necessary.
CALLED AWAY ON BUSINESS.
GLOW is the work progressing in
Dakota?" asked Boston minister of a
good brother at the Baptist anniversaries
the other day. .
"Well, I am getting along pretty
well, but still it's rather discouraging.
The first week I went there I had big
Finn ~