The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1887-04-01
A CoNJUGAL FATHER,

| F...... h..f VIZ KNOW tuefe DTrRkg
| morn Of mirth III his glad eyes
| .H.
| a CoNJUGAL FATHER.
a Fashionable Mother aud Fogy Father
| A Homo Entertainment, L
Esthdnge.
Mrs. Thompson-Are you asleep, NIT.
Mr.. Thompson Observation-Disclosures.
Mrs. T.-Prof. Catgut'sbill for Arabslla'e
first quarter
Mr.. T.-Humph! How muchp
Mrs. T.-Why, my dear, you know his
terms as we'll as l. Sixty dollars for
twelve lessons. 'Hl sl-I 20
MIR. 1.-THE dsv-deuce, mean It's
the first heard OF It! ~,
Mrs. TO, you've forgotten. l teld you
all about II. .sff
Mr.. T.-You told mo awhile ago that
you wanted Belle to brush up hcr music q
little. Pol sI g0.I ,I1'--'- M
Mrs. Ties; and you said very we'll.
Mr. T.-And On the strength OF that you
engage q professor ct S. lesson! Why.
Maria, you'll drive me to the poorhouse!
Mrs. Tive heardthat before.
MIR. land never see Belle open the
piano, either. rc. - n
Mrs. TIT isn't tho piano; it's the vic.
lin. ~
Mr.. T.-Violin
Mrs. I. (Calmly)-Yes; don't rouse the
household: The piano 10 30 very common.
Mr.. T.-Indeedl
Mrs. T.-iee; 1t is so much more effec.
tive to have such unique musical accom-
plishment-like playing the violin, either,
or banjo.
Mi. T.-Bapjo! Good gracious! sup.
pose ought to be grateful for the violin
il It has saved ME from the banjo.
Mrs. T.-1thought seriously OF the banjo,
but Arabella's arm is 80 lovely, decided
in favor Of the violin.
Mr.. T.-Well, it strikes me Belle shows
her arm enough every night, without
going to an expenGe OF $50 to further die
play 1t.
Mrs. TO, you don't understand.
MIR. THO; l only pay.
Mrs. T.-And while We are in the sub.
ject Of money -
Mr.. Tt don't know when we're Off
Mrs. I'll really think you might in.
crease Towards allowance.
Mr.. T.-Well, now, l like that! He has
s. 500 year, and lives OF home.
Mrs. III know; and it has done very
well 80 far.
MIR. TO. has til
Mrs. T.-Bn.rhs summer he wants to
play polo d fewpevr ~
VI. TO. dosS ke?
Mrs. f.-fes; he il great expert now.
Mr.. TO, is he2
Mrs. T.-And he wants bis own ponies.
Mr.. TO, does he?
Mrs. TT think (sobs) you are very I'M
kind (sobs) to talk in that way (sobs).
You have no interest (sobs) in the welfare
and happiness (sobs) oil your children.
Mr.. TIT looks as il hadn't, indeed,
to keep them in the luxury and idloness
in which they are living.
Mrs. T. (still tearfu)-Well, what can
you expect?
MIR. I'll wasn't brought up so. work
ed hard for my daily bread.
Mrs. T.-You hadn't rich father.
Mr.. 7. with grim humor)-That's go.
Perhaps it ian't their fault.
Mrs. T.-iou see the children have got
TO live up to their station.
Mr.. T.-Humph!
Mrs. IA sort OF noblesse oblige.
Mr.. T.-Stick to English, my dear, l
catch your meaning quicker.
Mrs. T.-And Howard ia sure to marry
splendidly. He ia 80 handsome.
Mr.. I. Observation-Disclosures chip of the
old block.
MIe. T.-Thero ia no doubt that Clara
knickerbocker IL greatly taken with him.
Mr.. T.-Ii'm, he NIGH: do worse.
Mrs. T.-Worse indeedl Why, they're
one OF our oldest families, and rich into
the bargain.
Mr. T.-QIite rare combination.
Mrs. T.-Arsbella's progpeCts are not
quite SO ilattering. The dear girl is so
iastidiouB.
Mr.. T.-Belle is little fool.
Mrs. T.-Why, how can yon say 30?
Mr.. T-Because it ia 60. Fastidious, i'll
deed! Do YOU know the way she judged a
young man?
Mrs. TT know thGt her standard 10
very high.
MIR. T.-Isit? Well, at the Lawrence
dance the other night young Brown took
her down to snpper-a nice, likely young
Mrs. T.-But hardly Arabella's style.
Mr.. T.-And when asked her at bresk-
fast how che liked him she said: "Pfetty
well: but, o papa, did you notice he put
mis- napkin on both kneea?"
Mrs. T,-She iseo n!tra'refnOd.
Mr.. T.-Uilra tiddlesticks! Another
young man wore ill-ft.ing gloves, third
let his hair grow in Ri ugly way at the
back OF hia neck, and 80 OH
Mra. T.-My dear, you don't understand
girls.
Mir. T.-Niy dear, don't want to.
Mrs. T.-fou ought to be very proud oil
Arsbella.
Mr.. Tt Am-she has lovely arm.
Mre. T.-And TO etrivG to establish her
well in life
Mr.. T.-What shsll | do? Advertise
for man who wears his napkin over ono
one knee only, wh'cDe gloves arc mnde ia
order, and
Mira. You are o very provoking man.
wisll you'd 10 to sleep.
Mr.. T.-Yuu won't let ne.
Mrs. IL lie awake half the night,
plotting and planning for my children,
while you anors Hernnely on.
| Mr.. IA fair division Of labor, Maria.
Az head Of the house, to Bnore ia my
inalienabe right. Good night, my dear
Scarcity Of MIX In Ewes.
Pittsburgh St0ckman.
Ewcs that present signs Of scarcity Of
scarcity OF milk either before or after
laulhing need special attention, remarks
the London Agricultural Gu:etc. Good
lambs are never feared unloes they receive
favorable start in lilo. 1t ia advisable,