The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1887-12-27
STORIES OF THE WAR.
How Coon Allen Didn't Get His Breakfast
BY NJ. NJ. L.
Wrltlea for Thc Constitnlion.

very decidedly objected to our remaining there
more than few hours.
Taking the cars we arrived Mt Midway q be-
lieve they called it, after dark. 1t was raining,
of course. and the Edisto river ct this point
had risen and overflown its banks until it was
perhaps half mile wide.
Here the fun commenced. All old soldiers
remember what dead loads of fun were lying
around loose during the war. 1t was so plen-
tiful that it was frequently necessary to kick it
out of your way as you would Shiny" ball.
The only means of crossing this sluggish
little stream was by means of a tramway OF
pine poles. It's quite unnecessary to stop here
to tell anybody how utterly slippery wet pine
pole is with the bark off, for by this time surely
everybody knows it.
II was dark
And you couldn't navigate wet skinned
pine pole at high noon and the thing white
washed with tar and sand and tied to the
ground! It's q feat that can't be performed
with anybodys feet 1t is a bilious impossi-
blity.
A. polecat would break lis neck were he to
attempt such job.
Forward, march!'' commanded our officers
And then we marched
Or, rather, we crawled but before we
reached the other side, or when we "struck the
grit on the side farthest from Sherman, it was
discovered that two-thirds Of the boys were in
a condition to be hung ont to dry.
But time was too precious to allow us to air
our wet dry goods too long, and SO we had to
trudge through the sand and cold and trust
to friction and swearing to dry us off. I mean
those who were accustomed to swearing, for it
may be probably remembered that during tho
war swearing was a very rare accomplishment
The next point reached was Orangeburg,
where we remained just long enough to get
directions to Columbia. We didn't even have
time TO wait for the train from Branchyille,
and so our march was continued on foot.
a few miles from Orangeburg we went into
camp for the night, as we thought. But we
were caught up with again thinking wrong;
for we had scarcely got our fires kindled and
our kettles TO boiling to manufacture into hash
the chickens and caters South Carolina
niger for "potatoes') we had maliciously
grabbed en- route, when it was whispered
around that Sherman had selected that very
| spot for a camping ground, and if we wanted
| to live to smell any more gunpowder we would
do well to organize hasty foot-swapping right
on the spot
| In less than handful Of minutes our grub
sllIllets with their Uncooked contents were
tumbled into the wagons, and we were again
on the road.
| Again-it was dark!
But we were not hungry and mad. Shucks!
A hungry soldier and mad one at one and the
same time was an unknown quantity. don't
remember ever seeing such a combination!
! A soldier never lost his temper, because it
was about all he had, and he couldn't afford to
lose it, And if he suffered himself to get mad,
there was no method in it, for nobody cared
for it. You might inform respectable briga-
| der that one OF his men had gone to roost in
| bad humor, and l am doubtful if the informal
ton would cause him to lose an hours sleep.
I said we were not hungry, but L have
! changed my mind we were-at least reckon
L was, for I caught myself wishing it would
set in and rain fried chicken for a day and
night without clearing up.
But the hungriest man I ever saw was Coon
| Allen of my company We had marched till
near daylight the next morning, and he and I
had struggled to the rear, fairly Gagged out"
"Mat," said he, hitting the pine-straw full
length on the roadside, ''durned eff I amt as
| hungry as army mule!"
81 don't believe it," was my reply
"Well, that's what's the matter with me-"
! he groaned; land 1 IN goin' to have something
to eat in less n hour or kill somebody"
"Maybe you will, but unless you gobble me
up, I'm afraid you'll remain hungry two or
three hours yet" l consolinglY answered.
| Come on
He scrambled to his feet, and we continued
our wearisome march.
| We knew that il we followed in the track of
the hungry army we would be morally certain
to starve, and no thanks to anybody, SO we
determined to take the first oblique path that
! presented.
We hadn't gone but two or three hundred
yards when we discovered blind trail leading
| off to the left. Not knowing nor caring whittier
it led, we turned into it, and had gone perhaps
half mile, when we saw the sickly glimmer
Of light few yards ahead of us.
| Rxf fbic TINA day1io1lt had hor11a and
we discovered that the light was in a little
eight-by-ten pine-pole cabin with very black,
sooty smoke lazily, but with unmistakable
determination, getting as far from the place as
possible.
Right here is a number one place to put on
record the fact that everything in this portion
of South Carolina--eXcept the better class of
whites-is as black as quart of charcoal in a
Jug The negroes are invariably smutty, the
hogs are smutty, the chickens are smutty, hens
Law smutty eggs, and our boys in passing
through got TO looking like huge minstrel
company-all the result of pine-knot smoke
but q more generous-hearted people never
divided crust.
"Coon, do you think you will get enough
grub at that wayside inn to produce a respecta-
bic case of colic?' L asked as we halted at the
rail fence that enclosed the uninyiting prem
Uses.
'Do you think" he replied chat the
blamed bats have kindled fire in thar to
warm their toes"
'NOC likely, answered.
"WeI, do you s'pose the inhabitants of that
ranch live on lightwood-knots? ?"
81 wouldn't be surprised, Judging from the
surroundings"
MAT, you're the most overwhelming fool in
the army. Helloi" he yelled.
An old inky-looking niger wench, who was
several shades blacker than the famous gross
darkness that enveloped the people, showed
her wool out at the door and asked:
"What yo' want? What yo' cum here fur?'
"Come here to git some grub" snapped
Coon.
"Somethin to eat. you old ink factory" "
'sWho's yo' talkin' ter, yo' greasy sarpint? ~
'None O. yer CAB, you old three-legged
skillet. Eff you've got anything to eat in thai
I'm going to have it or trim the wool off \
yer head with load of buck-and-ball," re-
torted Coon, straddling the fence.
"Jes dar yer to cum inside dis yard"
just then a rooster commenced laughing
back of the cabin.
'Mat,' suggested Coon, less nap that gen
tleman,"
oDo whut? Here, Tige!" she screamed.
That ended the controversy for the next
minute q smutty-looling hound with not the
slightest evidence Of sympathy in his counte.
nance rolled out from under the cabin, Coon