The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-13
BRIGHT BITS.

"PITzrN BEER" is sign inside the window OF
Milwaukee saloon. A window bar, fortu-
nately, cuts off the ~ and keeps many from
entering. -Burtiagtoh Free Press.
CALLER Ito elderly maiden)--You are not look
ing we'll Miss SpinSter. Sudden change in the
weather, ! suppose
Miss spinster-No, sir: it's the sudden change
In the Evening Post. Ah, me!-Nelo YORK Sun.
MRS CuRmEY-See my new winter wrap!
Isn't it lovely? A boy brought it up, but he
Mr. Curmey-Of course not. A boy couldn't
carry the bill They will send 1t up tomorrow
on dray.-PucS
Now the sportsman goes forth with his gun
In search Of a days royal fun,
But returns home anon
With his powder all gone
And his fingers less numerous by one.
Boston Gazette.
TAE callous philosopher who has never ex-
perienced the joy man feels when he tries to
kiss girl in the dark and gets stabbed in the
eye with her nose. has no business TO express
an opinion about kissing Are our mouths
merely holes for pies? We think not.-TS7eth.
THAT'S How IT wAs-Miss Tsensor-Tm afraid
you are no end Of a naughty boy, sam. My
brother told me the other day that you lost rs
ut cards at one sitting at your club, and that
your father was awfully angry about it.
Mr. Golightly-Awfully! He lost 80 the same
night at his club.-hltn.
AUNT MELINDA, what makes you look under
the bed every nighti'
TO see If there is man there, child"
Il should think you'd be afraid to look"
why, dear ~
why, if he was there you might brighten
him away. "-ChicdgO Ne1cs.
JACK, you amt looking as rugged as you
were when saw you last
NO I've married since saw you"
"Indeedn'
YES, / married Miss Smart. She's a grud-
uate of Vassar. and does the cooking for the
family. "-Pittsbiu9 Chronicle
spa" said little Johnny, teacher Is thinking
about promoting me-"
How do you know?"
From what she said to-day"
And what was thaty"
'She said il kept on I'd belong to the Grim
inal class. r=-Merchdat TrGpeier.
AND now the honest farmer packs
His apples up for town;
This is the top row of his sacks
OOOO o OO 300
And this is lower down
900 o o . o o o
Baltimore Times.
Mrs. BLossoM-what's thatf Oh, horrori The
hotel afire?
MI. BLOSSOM Yes; come on; we've no time to
lose
''But here am in my night dressw
Good enough! I'm glad you've got out of
your ball dress into something decent, Bur
tingt0n Free Press
ScoTcH TBRIFTINEss IS Illustrated in this new
version of an old story, given in the San Fran
| cisco Chronicle: A Scotchman died and went to
heaven. ST Peter opened the gate, and he saw
the streets paved with gold and the mansion in
the skies what do you think of ity' asked
ST. Peter We'll, I'm a stranger here, and l
dinna ken if I've only RIGHT to tae creeticise, but
| I'm thinkin' a this is fair extravaganza. "-Er-
| change.
'HoRsE won't run away. will hef'' asked Mr.
| Timid, crawling into the buggy.
"N-no said the stable man, (which way are
you go;ngY"
out into the country"
"Oh. well, he won't run away anyhow. until
| after you start back home and then you needn I
worry, and don't try TO stop him. Just hold on
to the seat and let him scoot for the stable; he
| always comes right here. -" Brooklyn Eagle.