The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-02-22


are necessarily some of them that meet
the requirements of my rather critical
and fault-fnding taste, proving that the
idea which has been generally enter
timed for so long, that only an ignor-
ant nobody will candidly advertise for
husband, while a really worthy
woman will naturally shrink from
such step, is dying out. Another
letter, however, is written by the
fedgeling just from college, who Orna-
ments his chirography with many a
flourish, writes on heavy cream. laid
note paper, which he encloses in an
envelope of corresponding richness,
bestowing an amount of time and care
on words, phrases, punctuation and
quotation maks, as to indicate that
ne is not yet in business, as if having
chosen a profession, has plenty of
leisure time from lack of business.
He saws he has no means now but will
be rich when somebody related to
him dies.
BUT HE WANTS A WIFE,
Now | think if he would only wait
until he is little older, has little more
experience, and as much means, or in
other words, wait till this somebody"
does die, he might make a good hus.
band, especially as he says he possesses
one of the finest requisites, that of
being handsome, but how can take
the proposition under consideration :?
| cannot order my years to recede
while his advance, and by the time he
reaches the meridian | have named,
he would scarcely fancy a wrinkled,
witbered, gray-haired woman, whom
age would enable TO be his grand,
mother, as his wife, / don't believe /
can wait for him. Then there is the
cramped hand of the mechanic his
lovemaking sounds as stiff as his
fingers evidently are. He writes on
a half sheet of fOolscap, words which
have the ring of earnestness and truth
in them; he states frankly that he
has nothing but what he earns, but Is
willing to do his part toward making
home a pleasure. He wants a wife,
and [ think he ought to have one, and
good one, for | think he merits her.
A large, yellow, misunderstanding en-
velope contains a half sheet of legalcap
on which is written a half dozen
lines, into which is concen-
trated. what, in the language / would
employ would cover as many pages,
the cancise style, the indlstinct hand,
and legal sound betoken a member of
the bar. the bar of justice, | mean, for
since l think of it, j have yet TO hear
from whisky bar. He wants wife.
The 90 vernment envelope with the
line, ''if not called tor in ten days
return to" printed across one end,
upon being opened di closes the bust
ness sheet with the printed name of
1.-THE house" carefully torn off and by
its many attractions aud frequent
introduction of marks signify the
writer to be one of that erratic mer-
curial, never-here never-there-Or-any
where-else beings known as ''drum-
mers" and curiOusly enough, hear
from them Oftenest, l presume it is
owing to the fact that they are all
single, at least we seldom hear of a
married one very far from home. i
wonder, by the way, whether railroads
do not have a tendency to make men
feel single, or forget they are married,
or something? since / think Of it, |
believe they do, for it is not only COM
merc;al men who are always single,
but conductors, engineers,
brakemen, and Everybody in fact, that
has much to do with the dreadful
railroads. guess they are response
BILE, not the men, but, poor fellows
they all want wives, indeed it seems
to me the whole country is literally
swarming with single men all des-
perate to marry, if only some woman
would hunt them up and propose-to
feed and clothe them.
Bnt if | continue in This line, | will
doubtless injure my own cause, it
will be reasonably argued that if am
so hard to please, there will be little use
seeking to know me, out as l said
above, while / Eave long bewailed the
vacant room in my heart and arms, /
still prefer the present state of things
to one less satisfactory, if | wanted
my arms full of something, mere
ly so they would not be empty, l
could hug pillow at night, and carry
armloads of wood by day; either
could be dispensed with at my pleasure
and as for my heart-well, a balloon
filled with common clay would
be utterly useless, | truly wish
10 fill these vacancies, but the appli.
cants for the position must