The Washington critic., 1887-03-16
GENERAL AND cRIricuLAR.

GFSEHAL AND CRIriCuLAR.
Our society reporter, who recently re-
fe1ed 10 redheadcl girl as "tho young
lady with hectic flush In her hair,n has
been given position as baseball editor,
where bis talents viii be appreciated.
The New York HJ1h says In It's business
column; "ThIs paper has the largest crcu
lation in America Ordinarily paper
printed on this side OF the Atlantic would
be expected to have the largest circulation
In America, but with the Hddifs foreign
tone, we had an idea, don't you know, that
It had the largest circulation In Europe.
The Passenger Agents who now are In town
Are as sweet In their way as molasses
And we say what we say quite honestly, too,
For the boys can no longer give passes.
The Maine Senate has decided In favor Of
woman suffrage, and spruce gum has taken
boom.
England has a new society called the
Speak No Evil Society. All the members
are deaf and dumb.
Hire Mathematics-M eight hours
work equal ten hours pay.
ENDicoTT's SPEECH To THE PRESS.
My voice is stlll for war
And am Secretary OF that which
My voice is still for, and
Shall remain so,
Indefinitely
Here, In my hand, hold
Ny trusty blade OF steel,
Which, dipping with the blood
OF thousands have slain,
Is evidence 10 all
That EndicOtt means business
Why should soldier give that up
Which he hath got hy yalUrY
by thunder!
lie don't have to, aud lie wont
TIE President II only Rn
Tx Sheriff from Buil,lo,
While am biueUloodel
Son Of Plymouth Rock,
And have got enough Hucestty
To start lltrl.boul, on
lie is what he is by iu,l .
am what ! am by birth aud breelln..
If he doesn't Ike my style
Let him resign,
III he darptd If viii!
Not this tvUitg,
For ! am q Muswump
\ Massachusetts MugwunN,
Ard II Massachusetts, Mugwunp
Bears the relstinn 10 any
Oflice which hc holds,
That wnd Of shueinakcrs' wax
Does to the seat Ot 4 pair Jt pants,
Namely, 10 wit:
Tie harder you NJ down on It
| The tighter Il sticks!
That's me, ard
My voice is stlll for war
JEDGE wAXEM's POLITICAL PROVERBS.
Patriotism and pensions goes hand in
hand.
A patriot can't die but once to save his
country, an that's more'H most of 'em keer
| to do.
Some editors don't wave the bloody shirt
because they aint got no ulster to wear In
the meantime.
| A freeman's will is &lbject to change
about election times.
The music of the Union is played by
notes--Treasury notes.
A Mugwump is the cipher of politics.
lie alnt nothin' by himself, but he count:
big at the tail-end Of a row OF flggers.
| Taint possible fer a President to be
nothin' moro'n the President of his party.
one OF the handsomest OF the Il. Il. Pas.
seDger Agents was on the Avenue yester,
day afternoon cutting wide swath among
the girls when citizen accosted him.
"Aint you one OF the visiting Passenger
Agents ?" he asked, politely.
"Yes, sir" was the equally polite reply
"Do you pass anybody Yn
"No, sir, not siuce the passage of tn,
Interstate Commerce bill.n
"Are you suref" the citizen testify con
tinued.
"Quite sure" the +. y said cmphat
ically,
~ don't believe IT,
"Do you mean to say FIN
Don't get excited, Interrupted the cit
izen, coaxingly; ~ don't mean to say any
Thing, except that you 10 pass somebody
for Just saw ytu pass the best looking
gin on the Avenue, aud she smiled at 20,
In way that no man with a heart 10 hin
could have resisted. What sort OF fellow
are you, anyhowY' ard before the p. A
| could recover, the Ctizeu had disappeared