Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-04-19
SURTiNG A MAN TWICE.
A Country Undertaken Relates His FL

A Country Undertaken Relates His Ex-
p.Ii.nc.--N Directors "Expre.>ions."
Il had funny experience years ago. re-
| marked country undertaken. Il got pay
| for turying a man twice. 1t was this way:
| A man had been fished up cut Of the river
and sent To oar house TO bury. That night
shout 10 O'Clock in came two women, .
mother and daughter, named Smith. living
on ia" -nuth side They asked TO see the
| dr... lrt. man, and as quick | lifted the
e.. i.Isr .uvered his face the Old lady threw
| u. , lands and screamed That's him;
IT,. . I.. poor husband The young lady
| Identified linn. too. but didn't seem to feel
very had The next morning the family
lawyer came 10 me snd gave orders for the
| burial. The Old man, ii seemed. had consid-
| cradle money; AZ any rate worked Kim Off
real nice and respectable like, and got my
| pay. About a year later the same lawyer
| came 10 ME and says: You ough, to owe NE
$50
Why SAYS l.
WHY, / paid Won that for burying old
Smith about year ago and he wasn't dead.
| But liz is ready to plant this time; died last
night, and came over after YOU
Well | went over and laid the man out
W nile was Al Ntik on MN tue on lilN
came in and said: Well. he's dead enough
| this time, poor man tn" night after we'd
! buried him before Ar. ,g.:nr walking into the
! room where We was all sitting. He had taken
little too much drink, and had just got over
| II and read about our buryin' him in the pa
pers, an LOr but he wa' mad. knew it was
| no sperrit as soon as he came III. But guess
| he won't come back this time"
Il never like TO shave corpse" remarked
n red headed funeral director from an ad-
| joining county, -anl if it is practicabl. ! al
| ways like 10 get n barber. About IA month
ago had al old man to bury who had died
with four or five days growth OF beard. His
| limbs had contracted terribly after death, and
| to straighten them out We had laid a couple
| OF pieces of plank across hin. He WAS lying
on the he,l in thts way when the barber came,
| n hig colorei fellow with considerable super
s;ltion about him. He shaved the outside ef
| tho face all right and then had to climb on
| he bed over the deceased TO shave the other
side. In some way his knees hit the plank
| which lay across the dead mans chest and
held his arms down, releasing both arms.
They sprang together like the jaws Of a steel
trap and happened 10 catch the barber on
| both sides of the head He gave one long
NeiI tlat lasted tiIl he feacne'l tne street ail1
that was the la: seen of him. / hal 10 finish
| the job Tn iarky was so badly scared
| that it was three days before he WEI 10 work
again
The following dialogue is sllegef 10 have
been overheard and was retold with consid-
| cradle gusto:
Country Undertaker-Do yop make any
difference in your own mannHr and ex-
preston in conducting different funerals,
City Funeral Direc;or-Certainly. | have
three expre>sions-one for first class funerals
| on. for medium and one :or cheap funerals
First class funerals, as | call them. are wher
the family has wealth and social position
These Ieople ara calm and undemonstrative
| in their sorrow and | use what | call my
"diSniflei sorrow" expression-s calm. sad
| look, with a white tie. / charge SO extra
for this in my ct ceteras. For the medium,
class Just sling in sort of ministerial sad
| ness looi: that costs them IS extra II the
| family have lots Of money and pretty
shnlly, and bound 20 make a big snow | use
| a suppressed grief expression that pride
| myself on Il j. really pathetic. That costs
the mourner~ So. but its dandy.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.