Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1887-02-24
BILL NYEIN A NEW ROLE.
His Capacity as Whitaker Evidenced by
Some Startling LegaeieS.
New York Herald


Bill Nye is responsible for the follow
/ fond paternal epistls. 1t will be noted
| that he sets shining example TO other
men of means by submitting in advance
an outline of his proposed viii for the
/ consideration of his heirs:
! Ny DEAR HESRY:
! This is dictated letter. The
! thoughts are mine but the penmanship Is
I that of man named B.asly, who is do
4 ing the chores this winter. My reason
/ for hiring a private secretary is that
! last Tuesday the strawberry blonde,
Shote, slumped through hole in the ice
and in striving to rescue him from wat
/ cry grave l fell and broke one of my legs
| Just above TIE fetlock.
/ Kind friends come from everywhere to
( 7sk me if it hurt much, and in thous-
! and different ways showed their gentle
desire to draw me into spirited CONVEX
/ sxtton A doctor came down from the
/ Insanitarian to set the leg, and tied his
! horse to a little sugar maple that set
/ out last spring. When he puts in his bill
/ for medical attendance he will be sur
prised TO find an offset of eighty cents for
/ That tree. l may be slightly crippled,
! but you can announce in you valuable
paper that there are no Aiee 81 ne To
/ speak of.
! While spraad ont here with nothing TO
do my mind has been quite active, and
/ | have had drawn off for me the follow
/ ing outlines of a will, which send you
| incIosed herewith. "Please read and re-
turn" as it says on the Bible-rack on
on board the cars.
Know all men by these presents, that |,
the subscriber, being of sound mind and
realizing that am now under the doctors
care. and therefore may be swept into
eternity any moment, do hereby make,
execute and publish this my last will and
testament firmly by these presents;
l. l hereby appoint my beloved wife
Henriette 90 be my sole executrix, as
signee and receiver of my entire estate,
with full powe to pay taxes on said es-
tate forever, and to have and to hold the
same as long as grass grows and water
runs, together with such other and fur
Their rolief as the court may adjudge.
?. / hereby request that the red horse
Napoleon be sold and the proceeds there
of used toward defraying my fun eral ex-
penses, provided that the sum of $50
therefrom bs set aside for the purpose
of maintaining a large, aggressive bull
deg, whose duty it shall bu to monkey
over my lowly grave until my dust shall
be of no use to science. 1t is my desire
that my executrix shall so maintain said
ll-dog heinbefore set forth in order that
pimpiy young medical students may not
make too free with all that is mortal of
a superior man. IT is my special desire
that no part of my economy shall contr1-
butte in any way to science or to the
amusement of class of sore-eyed gos-
Inns who cannot get near enough to live
man to operate on him.
desire to state, also that / hope what
ever may be odd or eccentric or abnor-
NAL about my formation, may be gener-
, Dusty allowed to pull in oblivion over it.
! self and be allowed to pull away. | do
not wish to be perpetuated in the form
) of a fatty tumor or osseous formation
Let my good deeds be my only
monument. Let the post norton in my
, case be ommitted, and the time taken up
} in some other way,
l request also, that at my funeral the
free list be suspended, and that those
only who have n personal interest in the
I proceedings be permitted to take part
Persons who make the funeral industry
r business, or rely upon it as a means OF
relaxation, are requested to abstain from
my funeral as a mark of personal favor
to me.
give and bequeath, make over anc
81 present to my beloved wife Henrietta
all and singular, my real and personal
3 property aside from said horse Napoleon
r heretofore enumerated and set aside fol
funeral purposes, to have and to hold al
said property during her lifetime, anC
e after that the real and personal property
to pass to my beloved son Henry, who il
engaged in publishing paper at S.
per year. To said beloved son Henry
I, | also bequath all ray wardrobe. / have
I worn out his old lawn-tennis and pole
q clothes while he was attending college
Q using his boating and base ball suits toi
T. underclothing during the winter and nov
that | am about to pass on ] leave m,
own clothing to him as a slightItestimoni
r al of my appreciation of his kindness Il
L me when | had no polo suit of my own
| also direct that an obituary. consisting
of forty lines, relative to me, be printed
in my sons paper, eod6t, at ten cents PEI
line, to follow pure reading matter, TO
j. which the SUM OF $25 will be found in al
4 old sock in my escritoire in the barn.
do not care for the obituary, but desire
y to aid a painting, struggling enterprise.
-. 1t is also my desire that all my debt
contracted during my life be paid NJ
after my death. Ny object in dying il
not in anyway to avoid the payment o
! my debt.
d may add to this will from time tC
time, as anything good suggests itself
n In the meantime let me hear from you
e ever and anon. Tell US how you COM
on with your new paper, and whether yoI
have contributed any more of you
r thumbs to your new job press or not.
, Respectfully, your father,
: BILL NYE.