The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-08
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEN a man is up stump he feels bad.
Whan squirrel is up stump he feels all right.
Detroit Free Press.
why, BOBBY" said his mother, very much
shocked, where in the world did you hear that
expression ~
Il heard pa say it when he was putting up
the stove this morning." explained Bobby
NetU York SIN
Mr.. LAMB Ito Wall street man)-What do you
think Of Reading, Mr.. Wolfe?
Mr. Wolfe (confdentially)-" Reading" is a
Mr. Lamb (excited)-Where can get someH
Mr. Wolfe--I can let you have all you want
Epoch. ,y
KATE-Shall we go by the elevated or Broad
way car?
Agnes-I always 90 by Broadway car.
Kate-But, dear, it is much slower.
AgneS-Yes, | know that; but you see, am a
brunette, and the dark-orange car sets me off
best, Puck. ---'..-...
Mr.; BrMpus- I saw you taking horseback
ride this morning. Your own horse?
Mr.. MumpnsrNo;- only livery hack.
He looked like a very fine charger"
$50 thought until paid the bill. Then the
owner of the stable cast him all in the shade"
-Hdrper's Bdzar.
THE tiexibility of the English language is
shown in the reply of an Irishman to a man
who sought refuge in his shsnty in a heavy
shower, and finding it about as wet inside as
out. said, You have quite pond on the floor. -"
HYis; shure we have great lake in the roof. "
November.
WIFE-I have just been downtown and
bought pitcher.
Husband taghast}-Good heavens! Do you
want to ruin me?
Wife-Why, a cream pitcher only costs
quarter.
Husband-Oh, thunder / thought it was
base ball pitcher.-Detrot F5ee Press.
YOUNG WRITER-Have you read my article in
the current number Every Other Monthly Re
UietC Miss PeneOpey
Miss Penelope1No: that pleasure is still in
store for me. heard papa say, though that he
had read it.
Young Writer-Did he not think that l treated
my subject in a very exhaustive manner?
Miss Penelope-Yes believe he did say some
thing about being tired.-HGrpe1''s Bdzar.
FIRST CHICAGO MANI hear there is to be
another bread or blood parade.
Second Chicago man-Yes, 1 have heard
about it.
"And they are coming right down the street
you live on, and may lombard your house"
Il have arranged to prevent that. The pro-
cesson won't pass my house; they will turn off
at the next corner"
Got police guard?"
mo, I've erected sign there: Men Wanted y"
Omaha World.
A LITTLE MISS of 5, with good deal of origi-
nality and independence in her composition, has
brother-in-law of whom she is very fond
They are great ehumS and it is hard to decide
whetherthe little girl or the man is the most
mschievous when they begin their romps She
persists in calling him my brother"
Your brother-in-law," corrected a precise
lady visitor one day
He's no law TO me" retorted the youngster-
a fact so selfevident that it precluded further
genealogical observation-disclosures Bdzdr.
My sen, would have you ever brave and
bold, never timid and cowardly; but when a
gushing creature in the bloom of youth and a
fetching costume gazes into your eyes, with a
dreamy look in hers. and asks you il it is really
true that young gentlemen do sit up half the
attentive and II there is any foundation for
those funny things the papers say about turn
ing down the gas. and all that sort o thing you
know. then my son. is the time for you TO set
your face awayward from that young woman
and go thenceward with all the speed that you
have on hand Boston Transcript.