davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
HUMOROUS.

Tho real estate dealer doesn't want tho earth; he is always trying to sell it. The position of judge is m exceed ingly trying ono.
 The stockholders motto: Man wants but little here bclow--par.
 The only man in, business for himself who ever strikes, is the pugilist. He-But want to marry you. She Yes, that's just where the hitch comes in.
 Birds in their little nests agree. And yet the younger ones sometimes fall out.
 The man who propcls wheelbarrow secs his work ahead of him all the time.
 When a man is 25 he knows som,- thing; when hc is 45 he wishes he knew something.
 The Declaration of Independence was signed on Friday. It was an unlucky day-for England.
 "The people like tyrants," says magazine writer. Maybe that's why tho people get married.
 The sign "Bcware the Dog" is not hung up 'that he who runs may read," but that he who reads may run.
 'This was tho most unkindest cut of all," sighed the youth disconsolately, as he gaz.d on the misshapen trousers which his tailor sent.
 A certain cynical bachelor can't un. dcrstand why it is women arc called fai. creatures. They have been anything but fair to him, he thinks.
 Boston girl-Ahl sec Miss De Peyster. What graceful carriage she hasl
 Chicago girl-Ycs, but her coachman is as homcly as hedge fence. In tho bright lexicon of youth there is no such word as fail, but later on, when the youth gets into business for himself, then tho word shows up in good shape.
 A laborcr in Vermont recently bought opcd into very rich marble quarry. His was hard lot, but it had compen- sations.
 Bride Con shipboard at scn)-I feel sc sick, my dear, and if ! Tshould die and they bury mo hero you'll sometimes come and plant flowers on my grave, won't you7
 "Don't be fool" she said, with a snap to her husband. "Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you to marry mel" he replied, and silence fell upon that house.
 ''There is something in this little fell low Hike, "said an appreciative visitor to young hopeful he was trotting on his knee. ''Now," said the boy, ''how did you know had swallowed pcnnyT
 It is singular fact, but nevertheless true, that when two young men meet they address each other: "How arc you, | old manT' and that when two o!u lel- lows meet they say: 'My boy"
 "Johnny," said fond mother to her boy, (which would you rather do, speak French or Spanisha" q would rather" !" said Johnny, rubbing his waist and looking cxprcssivcly at the table, I would rather talk Turkey"
 One day the children were having an object lesson on the blue heron. The teacher called attention to it's small tail, saying: "The bird has no tail to speak l o!." The next day she asked the schol- ars to write description of the bird, and little girl wound up by saying. "Thc blue heron has tail, but it must not be talked about"
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22

A prominent Ontario farmer claims that he has not made any money in four years. The American cattle ranches prevent him from making profit off of stock, and the wheat zion of Manitoba can underscll him. There is small margin on horses, barley, cheese and butter. But the Ontario farmers are having ard time of it and the Toronto Mail recommends them to combine and make an impression upon the law makers who seem bent upon fostering railroads and great corporations just at Drescnt
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
He Won't Stay Long.

''Billy BIiven is awfully unpopular with the landlady, ain't he2" said one of the young lady boarders, referring to a young travelling man who had recently taken up his atode there.
 "Yes, and don't wonder at it. Did you sec what he did this morning9 He iu waited until he knew she was look ing and then he put three spo>nfuls of sugar in the sirup."
 'He did! I guess he won't stay long. g."-- Merchant Traveller.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
Mechanical Effect of Steam.

Suppose we take ylinder, say piece of iron or brass tube, closed securely at the bottom end and left open at the top, and the area of the cross section to be one square inch. In this tube place a cubic inch of water, and over it place g steam-tight piston, to which a cord from the centre should pass over a pulley hav- ing weight hung at the loose end, just sufficient to balance the piston, then we have a simple device for demonstrate ing the mechanical effect of steam.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
A Boston Bo0tblack.

A traveller on route for Boston was awakened by cry outside of his win dow.
 ''Pedal tegumcnts artistically illumin- ated for the infnitesimal remuneration of five cents."
 "By Jove," he said, "we're there. "- TNew York Sun.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22

The growth of water works in this country in tho last five years is some- thing phenomenal. Up to the year 1880 the total number of water works in cities and towns in tn. United States was 556; from that tim, to the end of 1886 there were G23 ncw works Luilt and put in operation, being 67 in excess of all built previously, and they arc being built this year faster than eyer.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22

The fund of $500, 900, or $a, 500, 900, left by George Peabody for building inn proved houses for the poor of London, has through rent and interest, grown to f910, 66S, or A 513 ,340. There are now 5o14 separate dwellings. containing H. 15O rooms. and the average rent of each dwelling is less .han $1. 25 week.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
The Dear Old Songs of Home.

O wheel sublime of tireless time, Tu n backward in your flight, Ring out the chime in fairy rhyme Of boyhood's music bright! Like bells of joy outringing, Those memories old are clinging, Now faint, now near again hear In accents clear where'er I roam, My mother sweetly singing,
 Singing, sweetly singing, The dear old songs of home. Mako me boy, with boyhood's joy, As in the days of old, When ruddy blaze before our gaze Went mp in sparks of gold.
 I see the kettle swinging,
 The shadows round it clinging, Till orce again in swee' refrain, On land or main, where'er roam, hear my mother singing.
 Singing sweetly singing, The dear old songs of home. At set of sun, when day was done, Like silver chiming bells, Roe on the air, with evening prayer The song we loved SO we'll.
 Still in my ear they're ringing,
 And memories old are bringing, Like gentle shower, of boyhood's hour, With subtle power, where'er I roam,
 Of mother sweetly singing,
 Singing. sweetly singing, The dear old songs of home. No time can blo. this fragrant spot, This chime of silver bells, But oft my heart with sudden start The secret surely tells.
 Then mid the glad bells ringing, With holy thoughts upspringing, Now faint, then clear, again hear In accents dear, where'er roam,
 My mother sweetly singing,
 Singing, sweetly singing, The dear old songs of home.
 Tired B. Woods in Current
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
Important Information.

Doctor--"What is the matter with yon9'
 Patient-'T find it very difficult to breathe with my lungs"
 '.Doctor-'My friend. you would find it still more fiji ult to breathe without your lungs. ."--[S!ftinYa
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22

It is said that in every hotel and boarding house in Russia where foreign CTS are received, some person in the es- tablishment is required, under penalty of a heavy fine, to act as spy over the guests and report to the Government officials the T. suit of such surveil,cnc,.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
An Enthusiast.

Doctor Have you taken your pills reg,Ilarly?' .t.
 Patient-'Every two hours as di- rt cted."
 Doctor-"Did you eat nothing except what told you2"
 Patient-'sNothing.
 Doctor, enthusiastically shaking his patients hand-''My dear sir, you are a model patient. You deserve to be sick you do. ."-[ [Siftings.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
Delfcatelv Severe.

Young stayer (at il. 55 p. m.): What a chawming song that was. l wish you would repeat it. What is it calledG
 Miss Bored: I chose it because l thought it might be new to you. It's entitl, d "Going. Tid Bits.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
Dew.

Dew. The slender spears are weighted down With drops of dew As chill as if in dread array Some ghcs ly crew, Condemned to wander through the night For s'ns of many q bygone year, Bore down this grass with tagging steps, And left on every blade tear. Oh, listen not 10 fancies sad That come at nishtl But wait to hear the joyous tale Of nor ing light; The fairies sportel here at eve, And gentla Nature, lending down To them in love and kindliness, Received gem from every crown.
 -IMiriam K. Davis, in Current.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22
Connecticut Western News.
 PUBLISHED AT CANAAN, uTcRFlfi9 co c0NN., FIERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING. &C. @KLEY, Editor and Proprietor. Looal News a Speciality.
 rRRMSs
 2.0O per year, if paid strictly in advance
Local News a Speciality,
rR RMS

32.oO DOT year, if paid strictly in advance. U not paid ct the expiration of three months o426 will be charged.
 Subscribers desiring their papers discon- Stnued must give notice at the ITERATION of bet1g sufncaent; and unless all srrearages arc paid, papsrs will not then be discontinued sve a the option of the pubhsher.
Connecticut western news., 1887-06-22

Tho Charleston News and Courier urges that the South should manufac- lure every pound of cotton grown on its fi,lds, and thus derive the whole profit from its principal agricultural product.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
COUNCIL PROCEEDINGS

CovuoTon. La. sept le 1857.
A special meeting OF the Council
was held on tho above date.
Present-E Frederick. ]. Pechon,
Y. blanche, H. ]. Smith and Jas.
Taylor.
Abssnt-Wm. Badou.
On motion. the reading Of the
minutes Of the last meeting was
dispensed with.
E. Frederick. Mayor pro tenn,
then announced that the meeting
had been called for tho purpose Of
ordering . special election for
Mayor. to Oil the vacancy caused
BY the death Of Mayor E. r. Ran
dolph.
On motion, the Mayor VS. in.
etructed to call said election, in &C.
cordancs with the provisions Of
the tows charter.
The followin officers OF slsction
we're tLen appointed:
E. Frederick. Mayor pro tenn. and
Aldermen II. ]. Smith aud Victor
blanche.
On motion. the day Of election
was fixed for Tuesday. the 9Th
inst.
There being no further hns;asss.
the Council adj Ourned.
f FREoExIck. Mayor pro tenn.
W. q. KExTzEI, Secretary.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
RAILROAD RACKET.

Nr. Paul Gusman, civil engineer
Of Poitevsnt 4 Favreis East Louisi.
ana Railroad, be- bsea Lusily en-
gagsd this wssk surveying and
opening the right Of way for the &
tension Of the road from Abita
Springs 70 Covington. . distance Of
three milsa
Capt John Poitsvsnt. one Of The
owners Of the road. u ct present
staying in Covington. and paid %
. pleasant visit last Wednesday.
The depot st Abits Springs has
bssn finished. and j. quite IN or
namsntal and substsntial building.
c~,hs work Of grading The road
from The SPRING. 70 Covington COM
msnosd this week. The universal
inquiry u. "Whers viii il sntsr the
town, and where will the depot be
located ?"
All 10 can say at present 10.
Hurry up With your Digging"
The sooner you get here the better.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
ANGELS IN TENNESSEE.

Tho Milan (Tenn.) EscAangs
says: On last Saturday evening.
about rundown, on the Sterling
johnson place. two and . hall
miles southeast OF Milan. nix angels
were seen TO Ay down into the yard
Of Mrs. Woods. . widow. Il SCENE
that Mr.. Woods Was very low with
sickness, and several ladies we're
present attending 10 her wants.
when . noise in the hack yard at-
tractsd their attention. Upon look.
ing out Of the window they cav IN
angel. and in . moment more il
wss joined by Eve others. They
we're there for . few minutes and
took their fight flying straight up
until lost to view. They. with the
exception Of wings. were in the
form and shape Of man. with clear
cut and 6Aely formed features. and
were clothed in garments Of pure
and spotlsas white. while . halo Of
heavenly light sncircled their heads
The above was told to 10 - the
truth. and can be vouchsd for BY
the ladies who were in at.sndauce
upon Mrs. Woods. Be that % il
may. il has created considerable sx-
element in tho neigbborbood.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
QUITE ENCOURAGING.

None more gladly than the sugar
planters Of Louisiana will welcome
the news froo Fort Scott. Kansas
that the Parkinson sugar works
which commenced running . wsel
ago. to work mp this years crop Of
sorghum cane. have been wonder.
fully suecessAl. aud demonstrated
that sugar can be made very profit
ably from sorghum cane. From 1Oa
to ITO pounds Of 6rst sugar. 20
pounds Of seconds. and 10 gallons
Of syrup. 10 the average product ol
. single ton Of cane. This scLisve-
ment will be . spur to the develop
msnt Of this industry. and natural.
~ strengthen the friends Of che
sugar tariff in Congress. We would
like to hear Of similar success from
the sugar beet fields Of California
and other States where experiments
are being made.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
PETITION TO CHANGE THE
NAIL ROUTE

The following petition hes been
in cisoulatioa among our citizens
this week:
To the Hon. Postnastse 0snssal Of the
United States:
The undersigned residents Of the
city Of Covington. Louisiana, re-
spsctfully represent that they now
receive their mail FROM New Or
leans via Slideil. on the Northeast
ern Railroad. BY IN overland route
of about thirty-two miles. That in
consequence Of the time consumed
By the OVERHEAD route aud the man
osr in which the trains are run on
said railroad. il takes four days 10
send . letter to New Orleans aud
rsoeive N answer thereto. That
the Poitevent / Fsvre East Louisi-
ana Railroad 10 now running within
three miles of this city. and will
soon b extended thereto. By said
rolts letter mailed in the morn
ing would reach New Orleans BY
8 4. T.. and the answer could leave
that point ct 1 =. II. aud reach
Covington BY Z ?. y. the same day.
Wherefore petitioners respectfully
request that the contrsct be given
to the Poitevsnt / Fsvrs East
Louisiana Railroad.
The above petition 10 being gen.
orally signed BY our citizens. y
soon - it 10 presented 70 them.
The change Is : much needed one
and will b . great benefit end con.
venisncs r. the many hundreds who
receive their mail through this
o@os. and the Postmastsr General
will doubtless grant the pati-
ton and order the change made q
soon - possible. Il will greatly
facilitate the receiving and for
wasding At the mail. and b vast
improvement in the public service.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17

Pursuant 70 call. . mass meeting
| cf The Democratic voters Of the
parish was held q IL Courteous
last Monday.
Mr.. W. G. Wares. Prssidsat Of
the Parish Executive Committee.
called the meeting to order. and
stated The object Of the call 70 b
the election Of delegates to repre-.
ssnt this parish IN the Sixth Dis
triet Democratic Congressional
Nominating Convention. 70 b held
1t Baton Rouge On Wednesday, the
26th inst.
The meeting then proceeded to
organize. when the tollowiog OH.
csrs were nominated and unani-
mously elected:
By J. 8. Boss;sc-Alf. Leblanc.
President
By +. A. Gayol-W. g, Davis.
Vics-Psssidsnt.
By jas. n. Thompson-W. G..
Kentsel. Secretary.
On motion. duly seconded. it Was
resolved that Eve delegates be
chosen 70 cast the two votes Of this
parish.
The President thon announced
that nominations were il order.
Mr.. JsA r Hosmsr then placed
in nomination The lollowing-named
gentlemen. who we're unanimously
elected:
Jas. n. Thompson. g. b. Cause.
Milton Burma B Galatas and All.
LsBlanc
On motion Of J. 3. Bossier, the
delegates were instructed 70 vote -
. unit Tie majority to govern.
The delegates we're uninstructsd
= 70 choice. but favor the candi-
daey Of Judge ]. 8. Bossisr.
a vote OF thanks was then teu.
dared the President, Vics-Psssi-
dent and Secretary. after which The
meeting adiourued si~e lie.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
THE ONr-BORsE FARMER.

The ons-horss farmer has . life.
long ambition to gain . reputation
for wearing . dirty shirt.
He will alarm the neighborhood
by getting up two hours before
DAY. then sit around aud not 60 to
work till after SUP up.
He will complain Of hard times.
then tear his pants climbing . fence
where gate ought to be.
He will pay 81 for . new bride.
then let the calf chew it all tU
pieces before Sunday.
He will get al his nsighbors to
help in getting . COW ont Of the
bog. then Let her die for want Of
attention.
Stock will get in aud destroy his
crop at q place in his fence that
he has been putting Of repairing
for six months.
He will Spain bic back lifting
something 10 show how strong he
il.
He will talk all day Sunday on
what be knows about farming. then
ride around tue ne;ghborhood Mon.
day hunting seed potatoes.
He will go in his shirt sleeves on
q cold day to show how much he
can stand. then 60 home at night
and occupy two-thirds Of the Gre
place till bed time.
He will rediculs the mechanism
OF . cotton planter. and then 60 out
and mash his thumb mailing . board
ON fence.
He will 60 to town ard come
back with City cents worth Of oof-
fee. . paper Of pins. . dollars
worth Of chewing tobacco and bis
belly full Of whisky.
He is economical. Economy 10
his forte. He will s.ve ten cents
worth Of axle grease and ruin the
spindles u . so wagon.
He don't subscribe for . news
paper. but will borrow one from bis
friend and forget to return it,
TEXAS &Ockman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17

Remaining in the Covington ia.
Posto6ios. Friday. Sept Is. 1887.
Persons calling for the came will
please say advertised:
Beck C Mrs
Davis Mary Frances
Galloway James
Holivday Melton
Hernandex J Mrs
Mathis w
Nass,n Thos @
Nasou David n il
MATHEW Mary Mrs
Norris William
Orr b A
Thomas Elmira Mrs
Taylor Thomas
II not called Tor in thirty days
from date. the above letters will he
ssut 10 the Dead Letter Office.
The Pust0fIice will be open, On
Sunday. from 7:30 to 9 o'clock 4. =.
CaAs. HElKfx. p. n.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
BAD OUTLOOK FOR THE
COTTON CROP.

The report Of the Agricultural
Department on the 10Th inst. says:
The high promise Of the cotton
crop has been reduced over 10
points-from 98.8 to 8c.8-ths Of
feet OF excessive rains on the At
lantic coast and drouth in the Gull
States. Serious shedding OF bolls
has resulted from both causes. The
boil worm and caterpillar have =
wide distribution. doing some dam
age already and threatening st.ll
heavier losses. The State averages
are: Virginia s.. North Carolina
50. South Carolina 50. Georgia 81.
Florida 08. Alabama 81. Aissis-
sippi 81. Louisiana IS. Texas u.
Arkausas IS, Tennessee 70"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17

The Supreme Court Of Illinois.
last Tuesday. affirmed the decision
Of the lower court in the case 81
the Chicago Anarcbista Chief
Justice Sheldon made The follow.
ing announcement: '.In THE cas-
the court orders that the sentence
Of tho Criminal Court Of Cook
County on the defendants in the in
dictmsot Of August Spies. Michael
Scbwsb. samuel Fisldsn, Albert b.
Parsons. Adolph Fischer. George
Engel and Louis Linge. b carried
into effect BY tho Sheriff OF Cook
County. on Friday. November 1lth
next between the hours Of 10
o'clock in The forenoon and 1 o'clock
il The afternoon.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17
AN EDITORS INSPIRATION

"dr. Ksiones." said the foreman
Of Southern Illinois paper. - be
went into the presence OF the editor
the other day, "ws've waited . day
and = half for that blank paper.
and il hasn't come yet II we don't
20 10 pres this afternoon veil l"es
two stickfuls Of legal ads. that have
got to 10 printed before tomorrow.
What are We going to dor
"Hsvs ws got any blank paper
1t al :" inquired the editor.
I'VE have ten qaires VI brown
wrapping paper. such ~ but ebsrs
uoe."
'Tbsu," said the editor. - the
Ere Of . sudden inspiration flashed
from his eyes. "we'li use that. And
be turned 70 his deak and wrote
the following editorial. which be
gave to the foreman with ipstTuc-
tious 70 double-lead is and pot il at
the head Of the 6rst column on the
editorial page:
''Of al the papers in the United
States the RslkiH Ringer i the only
one that has the enterprise to print
. correct portrait Of Queen Kapio-
lani, Of the Sandwich Islands.
which will be found in another
column. The outlines Of this por-
trait have been engraved with great
care. and the cut 10 guaranteed to
b an accurate copy OF the latest
photograph Of her Majesty. while
In order to show her complexion ~
il really is. ws have gone to the
trouble and expense Of printing our
entire edition on paper whose color
and quality exactly reproduce the
complexion and texture Of the skin
VI this now famons Queen. Extra
copies Of this week issue, wrapped
ready for mailing. can ba had 1t
Eve cents each By applying Il THE
oiiee."
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17

The elephant lives 100 years and
upward; rhinoesros 20; camel 100;
lion Is to 70; tiger. leopard. jagaa.
and hyena lin co06Dsmsnt) about
Is; beaver 50; deer 20; wolf 20; iox
II to Is; llama Is; chamois Is;
monkey and baboou Is 70 10; hare
s; squirrel and rabbit Z: swine IS;
stag under so; horse add 90 30;
sheep under 10; COW 20; OF 80; NJ
ven. swan and parrot 200; eagle
100; goose 80; hen and pigeon 10
to Is; hawk 80 to 10; crane -;
blaekbird 10 to IL; peacock 20;
pelican 40 to so; tLr1sh 8 to 10;
wren 2 to 8; nightingale Is; black
cap Is; linnet II to -; gold6neb
20 10 ~; redbrsast 10 10 u; sky.
lark 10 to 80; titlark s 10 6; chat
finch 20 to -; Startling 10 to IL;
carp 70 10 $50; pike 80 to 10; sal
mon Is; Goldfish Il to II; ell 10;
crocodile 100; totoiss 100 70 200;
whale (sstimated) 1000; queen bsss
1 years. drones 1 months; worker
bees s months.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1887-09-17

DEAru or Coz. THoa. o. SUM-
On Friday. the llth inst. at 1880
O'Clock. Col. Thos. o. Sully. eyed
70 years, . brother Of Mr.. @. w.
Sally. Of Covineton. was accident
ally drowned in the lake in Audi.
bon PARK. New Orleans. near the
former Mexican barracks. He
was partially paralissd. and vas a.
tended By . negro boy whss b
visited The Park. Aftse looking
about for . short time, he aest The
boy 70 get him . giass Of besr.
While The boy was absent Mr..
Sully vent 70 The 6sh-posd 70 iced
The Ash, vhieh was bic lAvorits %
oapatioa, and while thus segagsd
b. was takes With vertigo. and isll
into he Poed and vas drowned
II. Sally vas chief inspector o.
The Cotton Exchange 6oe twelve
ysars. bat about . year ago b bed
some misunderstanding With III
Board q Directors and resigned
He lesvss . wis. . grown soa and
three grown daughters . moors
HE looA
Gov. WaGhiagsoa Bartlett. q
CaliSoeaia. . Deooerak died Il
Oaklasd lase Nosday svsaiEg. II
viii b euooeodo6 il oGloo b. Lie0t
Gov. b + Watsrnaa. who i I
Rspablieaa. Gov. bartlett 49, I
brothee q Col Ftsok 4. Bartlstf
| sditse q he Nev Oelsase Oasoai
I1a 81 bcethes.iA-law a H. -
ID. = 4 RasdelPA, = ceviagsoa