Dodge City times., 1887-12-29
THE AMSTERDAM BOY.
The New Story I Told My Inquir-
ing Offspring.

i read with gre at interest the ana
lvtical stories Of the present day.
What strikes me most about them is
the state of mind of the hero of hero
ine My reading shows me that these
individuals have the most tender and
questioning consciences. No matter
how trivial their actions. the charac-
tiers of our modern books arc tortured
by the most severe searchings of heart
and the gravest of doubts as to the
correctness of whatever course it
pleases them to pursue. Now have to
admit that am not at all that kind of
person. How 1 came to be projected in
to such an analytical world Ihave been
at loss TO imagine. A thing always
appears to me to be right or wrong.
and l take the one course or the other,
-as seems best ut the moment AMI my
conscience rarely bothers me with
questions.
But this world is q world of COM
~pensations. and what a person misses
in one stage of life he frequently finds
in another. If my conscience doesn' I
question me my little boy does. He
more than makes up for any def
-ciences of past life. He can ask me
more questions in a minute than l can
answer in an hour.
He has an Unsuitable desire for
.stories. and here Providence again
steps i'm to my relief If he were like
Inc. desiring a new story every time. l
would have been insane long ago.
The imaginative power of Dickens
would fall short of the demand. Fort
-unatcly. however. he is more than
satisfied with the same story repeated
over and over again; but he re sents
any alterations in the good old yarns.
H. won't have thirty -nine thieves. nor
will he put up with forty-one. Gin
.dcrella's slipper must be glass. AL
though l have explained that a ruby
slipper or an amber one is much more
expensive, he declines to accept it.
As he grows older l am appalled, to
find that an occasional desire for n
fresh story takes possession of him. Ii
this mania continues fear that shall
have to desert my family and seek
refuge on some desert island. AS this
country is full of little human intcrro-
CATION points | intend now and then to
print some of my efforts, 50 that other
afflicted parents may ward off for a
time the attacks of their too inquiring
offspring. and if any one has any thing
new i'm the way of bloodthirsty narra-
1ives suitable for children of tender
wears, would take it rs Il great obligc-
ment if they would give me some hints
about them"
Papa, l want new story this
time"
do you rcally?"
'Ycs, real new one that nobody
knows about"
''Well. once there was a man named
Ala Babba, and he' -
'Oh, that's the forty thieves"
'Oh. you've heard that before. have
.you?'
.'Yes. lots and lots of times.
Then there was once Il poor man
who lived in wood. How does that
strike you?"
That's good one.'
"And he had seven sons
'.Was one called Hop-o-my-thumb?'
''You hit it the first time. Heard that
-one?"
That's an old. old one"
''Oh. you want something recent
something fresh. Now understand.
Well. about six months ago there was
a fellow named Jack"
mot the giant kilicr?'
'Oh no. that was several years ago.
This person was an agriculturiSt."
"What's that?"
"A farmer II. had wonderful sue
cess with his crops. too. He planted
~one single bean and in the night i:
grew so"-
'.Now papa. that's mean"
"Wha,? The bcan?"
'.No, the story. You know that's
the oldest one yet. l knew that one
when l was a baby"
''What are you now?'
I'm big now. Biggern that story"
''Thcn you want a story made like
your clothes. bigger and bigger every
time. Don't you think if would LET
the tucks out of some of the old stories
they would ftp"
mo, they wouldn't"
''Then nothing will do but COM
plete new suit. WE'LL here goes"
'-Sure?''
''Yes. sure this time. One Septem-
Der day got into the city of An.stcr-
dam"
where's Amsterdam?'
'.In Holland"
'.And where's Holland?"
''Oh. round Amsterdam principal
ly."
oh" Then a pause. .'Why do
they call it Holland?'
Because 1t is hollow land. The
land is lower than the sea-
Then what keeps the sea out?'
'Oa. itdoesn't stay out sill the time.
Sometimes the Hollanders wake up
and find themselves floating all over
the ROOM"
':Isn't that nice?"