Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1887-08-26
AN EVANEScENT PEOPLE.
Conservatism at Discount in America.
How Men and Times Change.


Conservatism is at a large discount in
this country, and l think that is the
reason we are so hard to please as the
atrical managers will testify. One year
it is all comedy and farce, and we roar
at our favorite actor going in and out of
doors, delivering notes to the wrong par
ties and hiding under lounges, and the
next year we decline to indulge in more
than weary smile, and prefer to shud-
der at Wilson Barrett as Claudian. Then
there comes an era of comic opera, and
we sit open mouthed listening to jingles
which the very next season we vote
idiotic.
Now, it can't be, you know, that
thing can be good and bad On the very
face of it, it must be evident that Pima
fore. for example, is just as musical
and witty in 1887 as it was ten years ago,
The change from good to bad must be
due to the fluctuating quality of our al
legged minds, and it becomes us to inquire
into the cause. No such state of affairs
exists in any country outside of our own
In Italy the opera flourishes year after
year. and the man who votes it a deuced
bore is guilty of high treason. In Ger
many there is no such thing as a "revi-
val of Wagner, because he is always
with them, and in France the dear, de-
hghtful, naughty comedies have been
played from time immemorial. The
constancy with which the Dutch stick to
the quaint Kirmiss is proverbial, and
only equaled by the astonishing love of
the Russian for his monthly fair
We are constant in nothing, not even
in drinks. Absurd as it may appear,
there is a fashion in beverages, indie
pendent of the seasons. The high col
Jared youth toy with brandy one year
and get fuddled on gin the next One
winter everybody sips rum punch and
the next day they take their whisky
plain. So in smoking. 1t used to be
cigar, then came the deadly cigarette.
and now pipes are the correct thing. l
cannot bring myself to believe that your
true pipe smoker would ever touch
cigarette, except in anger. Nor do be-
lieve that he would smoke pipe on the
public pave. a pipe is synonymous with
privacy, and the sacred rites are not for
profane eyes.
Let us consider jokes and funny say
ings. What can sound more inane than
"Shoo fly. don't bodder me!' Positively
nauseating; yet we all used to grin, gig
gle and roar about twenty years ago over
the saying. Further along, to say
"Shoot the hat" would convulse every
body within hearing. We have it from
English authorities that "Walker" was
once conducive to fun in the foggy
island, but how can we point the finger
of scorn while we smile at "Ah there"
and "Rats!" Able statisticians have
computed that the mere cost of print
ing the word chestnut" in the columns
of reputable newspapers amounted to a
million dollars. a brief six months after
it was the epitome of pungent wit, and
now a person is abhorred as an unclean
thing who gives it vent, and its use is
confined exclusively to English news
papers which have just discovered it.
Not that this foolery is without its uses.
Many man has confuted a philosopher
with "chestnuts!" and disarmed a critic
with 'rats!' Rejoinder is impossible to
such an exclamation, except it takes the
form of clinched fist. But what want
to know is where the fun goes and why
''rats.' isn't just as good rejoinder this
year as it was the last. 1t isn't as if we
were going through process of evolution
and mounting upward to point where we
would discard this tomfoolery and talk
like Boston people, because one senseless
gag is promptly succeeded by another
equally senseless. The good old express
sive anathemas will always hold their
ground, but what man can predict the
gag which will set the table in roar on
or about the first of next September!
Will it be sharp and sententious, like
''rats, or will it be long and arguments
tive, like "What are you giving us, say?'
Will it be productive of fun or fight
Will it live forever or die next year3