, 1887-03-16


ically increased with years; until on the
most modest computation some 5000 OF
impossibly dull men, women and children
owed their existence to his tireless energy
and ain
Mr.. H%ailstone, his idea once perfected,
came to business with the utmost prompti-
tudc. During the following month-June,
1sS5-his announcements appeared wher-
ever the English tongue was spoken. In
London he rented an office and engaged II
staff competent to deal with the mass of
work so big a business would entail. His
advertisement itself, as being unique
among the curiosities Of literature, we
here transcribe:
Felix Hailstone will give the sums of
10000, Go, 900 and 81, 600, respectively,
for the three most complete lists Of char
acters to be found in his works of fiction.
All lists must be at 'The Hailstone Com
petition Office, King William street, Lon
don, L. C., before IL p. %. on Dec. 81, 1895.
Intending competitors would do well
to notice the following most important fact:
Mr. Hailstone's new novels will appear
monthly, and will all be included in the
competition up to September next. By
this arrangement every English speaking
nation and colony will enjoy equal chances
OF success with the United Kingdom.
my VI u
dressed to The Office, as above, will re-
ceive immediate attention. Bankers,
Messrs. Misery G. Iron, London.
There is no entrance fee of any kind"
From the first Mr.. Hailstone's under
taking assume gigantic proportions, and
the interest occasioned by his manifesto,
as soon as its genuineness and solidity
were put beyond question, appeared very
considerable indeed.
Ninety-three English publishers were
upon our authors track Immediately, and
double that number of American ones also
busted themselves-not with Hailstone,
but his writings. Though he made no
money in America, however, Felix came
fairly well out Of much piracy and tribu-
lation; for, amidst reproduction, reviews
and reproaches, he WA read, and the laws
of international copyright, for once,
played an authors game in spite Of him
self.
At home matters fell out differently.
Hnilstone became a notable man; a good
deal was written of him and his books;
these latter suddenly acquired extrinsic
value, md the English rights of repro
ducing them were paid for in sums OF
three figures.
New editions of Hailstone became the
order. of the day, and hardly a man or
woman, though he or she might have no
intention Of actually participating in the
coming contest, but bought one at least of
the now celebrated novels.
Then was 1.-The Torch" relighted; then
did the "Shockers'' pile themselves feet
high on the book stalls, and the historic
tome extend its ponderous form; for thou
sands Of eager brains were devoting them
selves to Hailstone and all his works.
Certain novels-perhaps ten in all
their author refused to republish, thereby
giving rise to much excitement, much
despair among those who could not pro-
cure the works in question, much jubila-
ton among those who did.
Literary papers, amidst their chronicles
of rare book finds, imminent sales Of
scarce publications, and so forth, would
contain such items Of news as the follow
ing;
mn. Jones, of Peckham Rye, was for
tunate enough on Friday last to discover
in n cupboard, unopened for many years,
Felix Hailstone's Fallen Angel q move
OF which only thirteen copies are in exist
ence. The prologue has unfortunately
been eaten by MICE
Or this:
1.-Two dustmen, in the exercise of their
vocation yesterday afternoon in West
Kensington, simultaneously CHANGED upon
Hanstone's Tiger Lily in a place where,
until the present sensation period, il
might naturally have been expected. The
scavenger came to blows, and row each
Is said to posses half the book. 1t parted
at page 207."
This novel, we may mention, was ex-
ceedingly rare, n the two portions were
purchased by Il company OF ten specula-
tors who farmed 1.-THE Tiger Lily with
cora md Stircasa until nnnfhar ropu ftrrpad
up in Yorkshire.
People got into prison over the Hail
stone competition also-a sure sign that
the scheme was doing well. Many spuri-
GUS volumes purporting to be from Hail
stones pen appeared; but there was in
these, invariably, some shadow of ability
or interest which convicted the authors
without need Of Felix's w disclaimer.
These gentlemen suffered at the hands of
justice, and nature herself was also re
ported as having victims to the Hailstone
competition; but whether a prolonged and
severe intercourse with our authors fc
ton really did on any occasion turn IL
sane man INTO n lunatic cannot now be
known with truth. Ter thousand pounds
is q large sum of money, and men have
certainly before now risked the madhouse
for less than half of It.
In truth the laurels of fame rested at
last on Felix Hailstone's brow. Some
body brought out a new pair of braces,
which rendered the domestic button a
thing Of no further account, and to our
novelist was this revolutionary suspender
dedicated. Then n biography with por-
traiD of Hailstone appeared; and n gentle
man, who, it was rumored, would taxi Il
prize In the competition, but who ulti-
mately failed to get among the first ten,
brought forward n work entitled "Hail-
stoniana." The Gladstone Birthday
Book" also enjoyed some patronage, and
ut n theatre, where you went in. with
out cost and then paid for programmes,
fresh air and other necessaries, brisk bush
ness was reported to be doing with some
thing ponderous and dismal, attributed to
Hailstone's early youth.
Meantime our author kept his word to
the public, and, amidst all the labors aris-
ing from his great undertaking, produce
monthly, a brand new and original novel,
but not, 1t need hardly DC said, at his WI
expense Publishers bid high, and prob
ably never, since the earliest cave man
scratched q mark with one bone upon an
other, attached meaning to that mark and
thereby foreshadowed literature, has mat
ter, so ~innately valueless, becol lie spos-
sessed of greater value. Pages J iigAt be
devoted to incidents arising ouJ Of the
"Hailstone Competition. but as these
would weary n dozen readers where they
amused one, IL will be best to hasten on