The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-01-14
ALToGErnER coMMENDABLE.
IN THE FAMILY.
FaeetiR.
A WICKED LITTLE Boy.


Bobby-Ma; you don't want ME to play
with wicked boys, do you? Mother-No, in
deed, Bobby. Bobby-Wen, if ore little boy
kicks another little boy, isn't it wicked for
him to kick him back? Mother--Yes, Bobby,
very wicked. Bobby-Then l don't play
with Tommy White any more. He's too
wicked. I kicked him this morning, and he
kicked ME back.
QUESTION OF FINISH.
Miss Higgs-And what course would you
wish your daughter to pursue-the dead Ian
guages and the severer studies, or french
and department? Mrs. Veseer (whose hus-
hand has lust retired from the furniture line
with a fortune)-Oh, mol can't abide the
dead finish; give her the French polish, even
if it costs a little more.
SUCCESSFUL ALL AROUND.
Most everybody has his pet phrase, which
he is ant to use upon all occasions. Mr..
Hayseed's "met with some success" How
ara Won getting on with your stock rals1ngE
he was asked recently. "Well," he replied,
DIVE met with some success II ra1sln calves.
allow is your oldest boy doing at schooIs
@Well. he's meetin' with some success as
scholar "He ought to, for he's been Wen
brought up Your wife is splendid woman,
Mr.. Hayseed." "Well, yes, the old lady has
-er-met with some success as female"
Visitor-How old are you, Willie? Willie
Civ wears old. Visitor-And when were
Won 60 WILLIE don't know. Visitor-Oh,
WiIIieI a great big boy like you, and not
knovv when YOU were years oldl Williesi
LITTLE Sister-I know when he was 6 years
old Visitor-There, Willie; your Little
sister knows. When was it, Sadiea Little
Sister-On his birthday.
A DOCS UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE.
ayes y said Mr.. Hendricks to the minister,
ssI am proud of that dog. Why, he knows
the different days of the week" just then
the dog began to run to a gun which stood IN
the corner. then back to his master, and wag
mis- tail. "He's made q mistake this time,
70 sa;d vo1ng Bobby; She thinks it's Sun
day"
WHY THEY ENvIED ADAM AND EVE
He was one of those men who are always
ord forever harping on how differently his
mother. used to do things. Apropos OF the
iTr;tatinq subject, at dinner one day she said,
with a sigh: @My dear, you've no idea how
envy Eve!" "And why, prays Because
nav dear. she never once heard Adam
say with exasperating frigidity, These pies
lack the flavor OF those my mother baked
uAnd know some married men who must
envy Adam for he didn't even know "hat
mother-in-law was. "-Harpers Bazaar.
A phrenoIogist says that fulness under th'
eve denotes language. The phrenologis
must have rum across a man VINO told some
body else he Iied-Drake's Magazine.
aBrown as berry, is an Alternative chest
n,,t that should be shelved. Berries are no.
brown. but red.-Ea5t End Bulletin This j:
especially true of black berries. Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Some men are born hogs, some achieve
boggishness, and some never learn to chew
tobacco at all-Dansville Breeze.
When a couple are about TO elope the
Young man asks: @Does your mother know
your route Cincinnati Commercial Ga
Zette.
A correspondent asks: as it wrong tc
cheat a lawyer?p First cheat the lawyer,
and then we viii answer the conundrunl-
Proyidence Telegraph