The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-20

 your life is spent in the following manner: An hour day is three years; this makes twenty seven years sleep ing, nine years dressing, nine years at table, six years playing with children, nine years walking, drawing and wis. iting, six years shopping and three years quarreling.
 I think breakfasts so pleasant be- cause no one is conceited before o'clock.
 The charm of London is that you are never glad or sorry for ten min utes together; in the country you are the one or the other for weeks.
 He was asked if certain bishop was going to marry. "Perhaps he may" was the reply; "yet how can bishop marry? How can he fiirt? The most he can say is: T will see you in the vestry after service.
 Daniel Webster struck me like a steam engine in trowscrs.
 l like pictures without knowing anything about them, but hate cox -eombry in the fine arts, as well as ill anything else. I got into dreadful disgrace with Sir George Beaumont who, standing before a picture, ex- claimed, turning to me: "Immense breadth of light and shade" l inno- gently said: "Yes, about an inch and a half" He gave me look that ought to have killed me.
 The news of the death of Dugald Stewart being received with levity by a lady of rank, "Madam," said Sydney Smith, when we are told of the death of so great man as MT. Dugald Stew art, it is usual in civilized ;ociety to >ok grave for at least the space of iiy, 'onds."
 Don't talk to me of not being able to cough speaker down. Try the whooping- cough.
 My idea of heaven is eating foie gTdS to the sound of trumpets.
 The only way to deal with such a man as Daniel O'Connell is to hang him and erect statue to him under his gallows.
 Don't you know there are three sex es-men, women and clergymen?
 Dante may be great poet, but as to inventing tortures I consider him a mere bungler-no imagination, no knowledge of the human heart. If had taken it in hand I would have shown you what torture really was. For instance you, Macaulay, you should be dumb. False dates and facts of the reign of Queen Anne should forever be shouted in your ears; all liberal and honest opinions should be ridiculed in your presence and you should not be able to say single word in their defence.
 And what would you condemn me to?" asked young mother.
 "Why, you should forever see those three little girls of yours on the point of falling down stairs and never be able to save them"
 Yes, you find people ready enough to do the Good Samaritan without the oil and twopence.
 The bishop of Blank is so like Ju- das that now firmly believe in the Apostolical succession.
 As an illustration of English hospi- tality Smith declared that when the Amercican historian Prescott came to England Caspian Sea of soup await ed him.
 Simplicity Is great object in a great book it is not wanted in short one.
 always tell Lady P she has pre- served the two impossible concomi- itants of a London life-a good com plexion and good heart. Most Lon- don dinners evaporate in whispers to ones next door neighbor. l make it a rule never to speak word to mine, but fire across the table; though l broke it once when heard lady who sat next me, in low, sweet voice, say "no gravy, sir" I had never seen her b fore, but l turned suddenly round and said, "Madam, I have been looking all my life for person who dislikcd gravy. Let us swear eternal friend ship" She looked astonished, but took the oath, and, what is better, kept it.
 Oh when l have the gout 1 feel as if l was walking on my eye balls.
 l gave up fly fishing it is light, volatile, dissipated pursuit. But ground bait, with good steady float that never bobs without bite, is all occupation for bishop, and in nc way interferes with sermon- making
 When Lady L- asked me about my grandfather told her he disap- peared about the time of the assizes and we asked no questions.
 recommend the study of Benjamin Franklin to all young people. He was real philanthropist, a wonderful man. It has been said that it was hon. or enough to any one country to have produced such man as Franklin. Every woman should know that Car-