davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-12-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
No man fails who dies trying.

No man fails who dies trying.
On the elevated situations of for
tune, the great caiamities of life chiefly
fall.
1t is far better to educate persons
to keep out of sin than to convert them
out.
The dead elephant Alice was dis
sected at Hartford and 800 pennies
found in her stomach. 1t il believed
she had started a monument fund.-
Omaha Bee.
Presence of mind is all we'll enough
in some cases. but when man finds
himself in danger of freezing to death
he shouldn't try to keep too COOL
Epoch.
I'm goin' to leave, mum" "What
forp am sure l have done all the
work myself, in order TO keep girl"
"Well, mum. Their works not done to
suit mer'-Puck.
Milton was asked if he intended to
instruct his daughters in the different
languages-to which he replied, mo,
sir, one tongue is sufficient for q
woman.-SaLem Standard.
Women are bothersome creatures
sometimes and cause rs no end of
trouble, but after all, what would We
men do if we hadn't somebodIto whom
we can attribute all our faults?
Knowledge which Came too Late -
Imagined Maria had thousands
Laid up in strong vaults;
Iwedded, and find she has millions
OF faults.
It'd Bits
-Inquistivc people are the tunnels
CT conversation: they do not take in
any thing for their own use but merely
20 pass it to another. - Steele.
Mistress why, Mary, told you
to make up my room an hour ago, and
here it is in terrible disorder" Mary
-"Yis, mum, an did make it up; but
the master came in to put on a clane
collar, mum, and he lost the button. -
Epoch.
Voice Grom under sofa)-"From
this time forth, shall cease to call you
wife; you have beaten me shamefully.
and l have still enough of the spirit of
u man left within ne to remain here
until you apologize for your conduct"
Judge.
Paris has taken up the crusade
against the high hat at the theater and
"a has les chapcanx" is heard on every
hand.-Ercbangc This is has les fab
rication. There are women who could
not enjoy play al a theater if they did
not have high hats on their heads, and
such women are going to wear high
hats when and where they please. NJ
o. Picayune.
You must remember, my daugh-
ter, you are only little girl. can't
think of letting you wear long dresses
yet" But, mamma, am as tall as
you are" rs that possible?" "Then
measure" Sure enough, my child,
you are. How fortunate! Now you
can hang out the washing just as well
as, l can. - Chicago NeUs
The play was drawing to a close,
and the bad man was just about falling
to the earth transfxed by the bullet of
the hero. The villain cast wild look
over the house, and cried, Hold At
least let me die in peace. Wait till the
suburbans who have trains to catch get
out! Grant me this my dying request"
1t was granted Ten minutes later he
fell headlong, and expired in artistic
agony. Then the curtain fell, and the
house was emptied silently and with
many a sob of sympathy.
Transcript
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-12-31

The latest discovery is a seven-inch
vein of leather polish or shoe-blacking
on the farm of M. H. Gladman. just
west of Hopkins, Mo. 1t is found four
feet from the surface, and when wet
and rubbed on a pair of shoes or leather
makes a splendid polish. The find is a
curiosity. Nodaway county has most
all the good things Of this world, and
now can boast of shoe-blackinS mine
the only one in the world.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1887-12-31

handkerchief and seemed to be long time
blowing his nose. In moment more his
wife made her appearance and cordially
greeted her guest, and, with the assistance
of an attendant, relieved her of shawl and
bonnet, and then Aunt Polly was led away
to the room appointed for her. Here she
was left, after a short chat about the folks
at home, and told to rest for an hour or so;
but, when she was alone, she decided it
was her first duty to open her sachel and
get the extracts and herbs ready for i'm
mediate use in case they should be needed.
That evening at six o'clock Aunt Polly
was escorted to the drawing-room. Just as
she entered the door she was met by a
beautiful young woman whose graceful
form was half hidden by the snowy folds
of a bridal veil.
"Here is the girl we expect to lose to-
night" said Henry.
~ am glad you have come to my wed
ding, Aunt Polly" said the girl, pressing
the faded hand between her own soft palms
land thought it was actually wicked in
pa to make you think l was ill.,"
"Itwas the only way we could fetch herr
said Henry, land Polly may take her re-
venge by giving us all some good, strong,
thoroughwort tea"
Almost to her own surprise, Aunt
Polly Joined in the general laugh; and in
all the festivity and fun that followed she
took so large share that Henry declared
he believed she would not have enjoyed it
more if Grace had needed the entire con-
tents Of the well-flled carpet bag And
Aunt Polly herself admitted that when she
chopped into Henry's easy chair and lis
tened to the songs and music she really
felt thankful that them young folks was all
so smart and happy. But after am she
added, ''it was well enough to have some
herbs and things handy in case they should
be needed."-F II. He,Sey, IN Yd,lles Blade.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
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HISTORICAL PUBLISHING CO..
S. W. cor. chs Arch SIS, Philadelphia, Pa.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

which suited everybody last year. Also n
new Kid oxford with wine top, only ST.
25, and this is nobby,
Rubbers to lit everybody.
If you are inclined to slick up little
this spring, remember | have got the
only stock of Paper llangings and Bor-
ders in town. You can call on me and
make your selections, get your goods and
go home happy.
A fine line of Palhts, Oils and Varnish.
eS. French, Yellow floor paint ready
mixed by the quart or gallon.
Garden, Field and Flower Seeds
Champion of England and American
Wonder Peas by the quart. All kinds
Sweet Corn for sale by the ear.
Groceries, Flour, Pork, Lard ant
Hams. The best of Teas and Cofiecs
Pure spices and Cream Tartar.
Now dear reader l should be pleased t.
have you call on me, examine goods anC
get prices. Then if you don't see fit t.
purchase, there will be no hard feeling
on my part.
Very Respectfully Yours,
Gro. G.. SMITH.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

l.. Birney Lamson as the editor OF
this paper didn't come off, from the
simple fact that its astute managers
and promoters didn't know enough to
make q writ that would hold water
when put to the test. The case came
up in the {. S. circuit court at Wind
sor, Tuesday, and Col. Haskins,
for the defence, moved to dismiss on
the ground that the record did not
make sufficient averment of citizen
ship and consequently was without
the jurisdiction of the court. This
motion Judge Wheeler granted, but
afterwards continued the case giving
leave to the plaintiff to amend. Sho
now! And at this critical time
Verify, as the clown said, "there are
a great many holes in Skinner
more than his honor, James Loren
Martin and his conferee, M. II. God
dard, Esq, uth-almighty, Of Lud-
low, know how to stop.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

Next week | shall be prepared to show
my Spring stock of Boots, Shoes and
Rubbers. If you have anything in these
goods to buy you should look at some of
my specialtcs before purchasing First,
on the list, would call the attention of
the Ladies to the "Lotta," the finest Kid
Button boot for $2.50now offered by the
trade, Latest style cut, overlap quarter,
flexible sole, honest made goods, stylish
and Servicablc Every pair warranted,
Next on the list is the Boston" rat
Ting good Kid Button Boot for an even
81. CO. Lots of cheap goods down to ST.
% for q stylish looking shoe with finished
button holes. Don't fail to see this one.
In mems shoes | can show the best
trades at $500 and $500 ever offered.
Never before this season have these goods
been offered at the above prices.
| make no mention of Misses and
Children's goods, but bear in mind, in
| tend to have complete stock all the
time. If you want a calf Boot have
got them. Three different makes-S2.5C
and S3.eO. A fine assortment of the
Goat Wine Oxfords for the Ladies,
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
The "Grapevine i'm operation
once more.

Hooker, Hello, hello, Central O0ice!
Central Office, What do you want,
Hooker?
H. Give me Levi.
Leri, What's up now, George?
II. What's up? You had better say
what's down, for you'll soon be down If
you don't stop making such - foolish
speeches as the one you made at the vii
lage meeting,
L. What did say that was so -
foolish, George?
H. Talk about drop of water falling
from an electric wire and killing fireman
is too silly for anything.
L. You know that every word said
was the truth.
III. No | don't, either. There isn't a
child in the county that doesn't know bet
ter. And to think that | nominated you
for Acknowledgements! If you ever OK
pect to be governor you must Keep shady
for the people are fast getting to believe
with the SITTER that you are a political
humbug,
L. Well, I'm not the only one. Look
at that SITTER! l thought you fellows
We're going to suppress it. Lo has prom
ises it time and again, and n0w,just in
the nick of time, when the fellow is hard
up for money! for we've m ade him lots of
costs, if it has taken the dollars out of
our pockets)and that Lamson suit should
have been tried his blasted writ fails.
II. Well, well, Lo says he'll fix him
with the noble and virtuous Davenport.
l.. Humbug! Lamson is just as noble
as Dv-Whiz! Hello! Look out there,
George! I thought you said that grape
vine" had been cut.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

Brattleboros great inventor and G.
Electrician electrified the denizens of
that burgh, at their recent village
meeting, by opposing the lighting of
the business portion Of the place with
electric lights. And, fromthe report
we received of his speech, he demon
strated what the SITTER said about
him last summer: that he didn't
''know a dynamo from damfino."
"Our Lo" sailed in and lent him a
helping hand, but somehow the village
voted to have the lights, ell the same.
0 We perverse Brattleboreans! Why
are We not content with your scientific
and oratorical lights, and not go run
ming after strange and dangerous
luminaries?
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

There seems to have been a studied
and combined effort by many great
railroad corporations to make the
Interstate commerce law odious by
strained and unwarranted interpreta-
tons. And while it seemed, for a
time, to have the desired effect the
reaction is now taking place and the
people are complaining, not of the
law. but of the action of the railroad
managers in misconstruing the law,
and some of the trunk lines are see
ing their error and are putting them
selves on better behavior. In this
connection it is interesting to note the
statement of X. G.. Dun & Co. that
there has been an enormous in
crease" of trade at many western
points, which is attributed to the law,
and that, although it has checked
trade at some important points, it
appears to have produced feeling of
extraordinary confidence in a much
larger number of towns.'
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
All Sorts.

Some flashes of lightning are be-
lieved to reach length of ten miles.
Forty thousand dollars will be re-
quired for the proper ventilation of
the Albany Capitol.
Among the articles found ON the
New York elevated railroads the
past year were 100 umbrellas.
The convention of the National
Education Association is to open in
Chicago July u with reception at
the Exposition Building. Prepare
tons are to be made for 10000
teachers.
Chicago has home for working
women in which lodging is only 10
cents night and breakfast . cents.
The home is supported by ladies from
different churches.
Wages in Mexico range from 20
cents per diem to 10 for skilled hands,
but when the manufacturer wishes
heads for all the different branches of
machinery he hires Americans.
Teacher-"Now, we have had the
Stone Age, the Bronze Age and so
on. Who can tell me what the pres
ent age is? Johnny Harris, you are
holding up your hand. You may
tell" Johnny (who reads the papers,
-"the age of steal, ma'am. Pitts
burg Chronicle.
Democratic papers, disgruntled
over the appointment of Postmaster
have coined the phrase: ga Demo-
crat for Post-oflie only.
The Charleston, S. c. Chamber
of Commerce has adopted resolutions
asking for the immediate enforcement
of the Interstate Commerce bill.
A Rhode Island exchange says
that Goyernor-elect Davis has an
nounced the members of his staff in
order to vanquish the increasing
army of applicants for the positions.
Ex-Governor Long, Hon. A. w.
Beard and Congressman-elect Lodge
have been invited by the Portland
Club, Republican, of Portland, Me.
to attend its meeting Wednesday,
June |.
Governor Taylor of Tennessee
says that that State is in favor of q
protective tariff, but the leading Dem
ocratic paper is decidedly in favor of
free trade.
Here's q thrilling incident from the
| Lewiston journal: "a man riding
in the cars in Eestern Maine the
other day felt a bug crawling ovel
the back of his neck. He made q
grab for it, and instead of getting the
daddy-long-legs that he expected
1 grabbed the back hair of a woman
sitting back to him. Both oi then
are willing to testify that travelling il
Maine is attended with dangers thai
they never imagined before"
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

AS to the certainty of Mr., Cleve-
lands having unanimous delegations
from all the States next year, and
getting renominated by reclamation,
there is an awful deal of humbug and
lying going around; and much of it
proceeds from rather high places.
Well, we'll, this is funny world, es-
pecially after the third year of a
Presidents term has set in with big
lot of offices yet to be distributed to
the deserving New York Sun.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
Echoes from the Press,
Outrag cling Justice.

A few nights ago four men assault
ed two women between Burlington
and Winooski and outraged one OF
them. The other escaped. They
were arrested, and one of them plead
ed guilty before the city court and
was sentenced to year and a half in
the state prison. Probably if he had
stolen a horse he would have been
sent up for at least four years.-Rut-
land Herald.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
Wants to stay where things stay planted

"Why don't you get rid of that
snow, or come out here where nearly
all small grain is up?" queries a sub
scriber at Spirit Lake, Iowa, under
date April 20. To which we hasten
to reply" in the approved Yankee
fasqion of a counter query-Why
don't you get rid of those cyclones
that make your beautiful Western
country dread by day and a terror
by night! As for us, we prefer to
stay where the grain comes up in the
natural way, and the trees and houses
stay planted. Tribune.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

One of the most absurd statements
we ever read is that contained in an
eastern paper to the effect that the
population of Maine and Vermont is
gradually diminishing owing to their
prohibitory laws. A man that would
move out of q state because he couldn't
get what rum he wanted is no loss to
any locality. 'Iis room is better
than his company any time. To
assert that any considerable number
of persons migrate from the two
states named on that account is too
ridiculous to be believed by any save
those who argue that the more saloons
the better the business prospects of 4
village.-Vermont Sentry.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
The Poets Corner.
DRIFTING.

Neleclcu
DRIFTING,
The river goes drifting past me
On toward the great wide sea.
Dallying here with the lilies,
Wood by the wind and the hsS,
And whispering there to the rHsise
And reeds in the cddioS' edge,
Where the ployer's nest is hidden,
Deep in the cool green sedgo,
So, idle and dreaming ever,
1t drifts to the great wide sea,
And is lost in the world of waters;
And it is type of me,
My life goes drifting Silly,
= Like river with the years,
And it has enough of sunshine
To make me long for tears.
am drifting idly onward,
And throw the hours away,
| For an hour is counted squander'd,
If it holds no good, they say.
And if there is naught of evil,
And nothing of good in me,
Then life is an utter failure,
As it drifts to the unknown sea.
If the force in the idle river
Were made to work for mc8
As it floats along to the ocean,
TO come not back again,
In turning the busy mill-whcel
On its green and pleasant edge,
Instead of its aimless drifting
Past lily and reed and scdge,
Then as it ncars the ocean,
And is merged in the mighty ilood,
They would say to the little river,
1T has done the best it could"
| am tired of aimless drifting
A leaf on the tide of time.
| will force the power within RIe
To deeds, which, if not sublime,
Shall be something hcalthful al heartfu
TO those | meet in the way,
| will be no more like the rivers
Let me work as best | may;
And when to find the new world
| sail DER the great wide sea,
Let "Hc did his best" be spoken
BY those who come after me.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

1t is seriously talked that Secretary
Garland may be the successor Of
Judge Wood. If this should prove
true it would be another one Of Mr..
Cleveland's grave mistakes. The
country wants no Pan-electric judg-
eS.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

Now that the "old Governor has
been elected to the presidency of a
Yacht Club it will be in order for all
the little organs to get up and howl
a-la-Nacht.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

The Lake Champlain Yacht Clul
was organized at Burlington, Mon
day with Ex-Governor J. Gregory
Smith as PRESIDENT w. H. H. Muir
ray figures on the executive commit
tee. A club house is to be built and
dedicated in October.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

The Rutland police are working,
with some vigor, to clear that
place Of its dens of pollution. The
effort is heartily supported by the
Herald. g..
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

Jacob Sharp, accused OF bribing
New York Aldermen, was placed on
trial, Monday, in Judge Bsrretts
court in New York.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

Justice VIM. B. Wood died in
Washington last Saturday. He was
a native of Ohio. During the war
he entered the army and arose to a
Major Generals position. At the
close of the war he removed to Ala
bama and was appointed United
States Circuit Judge and in 1880
was appointed to the supreme bench
by President Hayes. His funeral
took place at Newark, Ohio, Tues.
day.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
The Verdict OF History.

The unwilling of the statue of Gar
field in Washington yesterday is the
verdict of history ON the Morey letter
and the placarding of the figures 329
all over the country,-Utica Herald
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

The notorious eX-Speaker Keifel
was the orator at the unwilling OF
the Garfield statue, in Washington,
last week, and it is said actually went
through the performance without once
quitting his foot in it," and every
body is wondering how it happened.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

This is The way kapiolani, The
Hawaiian Queen now in this country,
writes her poetry:
'IIaahco ka ia ina pax,
Kcnihi aela ka nahelc
L. hahai ana ika ''liko,"
Pua Ahihi lchua uka."
Which shows that Kapiolana is not
behind her American sisters in put
ting thoughts into unintelligible Ian
guage.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

O'Brien spoke, amid Kisses, groans
and cheers, at Toronto, Tuesday.
He delivered a powerful argument
against coercion, and in reference to
his Interruptions said:
"This demonstration takes the last sod from
under Lord Lansdowne's feet, for by it he con-
fesses thath has no better answer to our terrible
arrangement than the rowdyism, blackguardism,
vulgarity- and ignorance of this wretched and
despicablc crew."
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
MARRIED..
DEATHS.

In So. Londonderry, May II. Infant
daughter of Mr. & Mrs. O. u. Rhoeds.
In Peru, May 0, Alison NJ. sop OF Mr..
& Mrs. L. NJ. futile, aged IL
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19

New Orleans is said to be the par
adise of the negroes, from the COM
Portable lives they lead. While in
the cane and cotton growing regions
wages are small and poverty pinches,
there is in the Crescent City large
and prosperous class. 1t is claimed
that there are no colored beggars.
The blacks use every variety of de-
vice for securing a living and help
ooob ethan
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
Sitter John, Editor.
That Libel Suit.

EternaIly opposed 10 all rings, cliques,
clans and faetions-The Peoples Organ.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1887-05-19
BIRTHS.

In Winhall, May IL, a soTt to Mr.. &
Mrs. A. p. Graham, Jr.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1886-1893, 1887-06-23

pisaG ME umie. Oni sami to
prayznaja i radziby sic jaknaj.
PREDICT pozbyc przykrego Gle
zaru, do ktorego dzwigania i'm
sit ME starczy.
Plknik Tow. Prem. Pol
skich w Chicago odbedzie SIG W
nicdzicle, 10 lipca w Fitz's Grove
PREY Clcyborn i Webster Ave. W
razie nicpogody W nastepna ME
dziele.
w New Yorku odbedzie
sic w dniu a lip:a solenne nabo-
zcnstwo za1obne 20 dnsze sp. Kra-
szewskiego, W polskim kosciele
sw- Stanis.awa, rog ulic Stanton
i Forsyth. Celebrowac bedzie ks.
II. Kim ccki. - Czesc CT zacny
kapianie!