Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, 1887-12-01
FULL or FUN.

An Eastern travelling man. whose
name is Gam. says that he never takes
asitustion with any expectation of hold
ing It. He is likely to be discharged
at any moment Merchant 1rauc:er.
Hello. Jones! Been
away shooting for couple Of weeks
haven't your Jones-''Yes" Robin
son-"Well, what did you bagr'
Jones-''My trousers "-B"rlingso's
Free Press
THAT, SIR" said the music dealer
to a countryman. rs genuine
Stradivarius." Honest, Mister?''
Certainly" '.Well. I'll be gol-darnedi
if / wouldn't . called it . fiddle.
Washington Critic
-Barber-''You are very bald. Mr.
Nye." Bill Nye-'That's So" Bar
ber-''What was the cause of your
baldness7'' Bill Nye-~The top OF
my head grew faster than my hair. y
Texas Sif.inga.
"A D fferent kind Of fish,
The girl who hooks ash will shrek
To see its frantic wriggles,
But when she hooks man-Queer freaks
She simply grfns and giggles.
-Cnar!eston Enterprise
Yes, Brown is . pleasant sort OF
fellow. but he's SO tickle. ! really
don't believe he knows his own mind
ten minutes together" Il see; his is
a case where ignorance is blissr'-
Boston Transcript
Her vacation didn't seem to do
your wife much good. Perhaps she
didn't take enough exercise" ''Oh.
yes she did. She sat on the piazza
and talked continuously for three
hours every day on the stretch
Maternal Afection-Profess to
his wife. ''Just imagine. the female
carp brings several million young ones
into the world all at once" Wife
but you can scarcely speak of mother
ly love under such circumstances"-
Losa Blatter.
-Robinson-"What was the amount
of your doctors bill. Dumleyg' Dunn
ley-.l paid him 5000" Robinson
Two hundred dollars! That's too
much" Dumley-"He saved my life,
you know" Robinson-"Yes. know
he saved your life. But 5000. Dumley!
That's too much. ~ j. Sun-
"A well-known young man about
town descended upon an office yester-
day afternoon and tried to borrow an
umbrella The man who lent it evil.
IDENTITY knew the borrower. for he kissed
the umbrella four times and en- braced
it hard enough to spring its ribs. =
Proriencc Journal
In an advertisement by railway
company of some uncalled-for goods
the letter ''l'' had dropped from tho
word lawful. and it read: People to.
whom these package, are directed arc
requested to come forward and pay
the awful charges Oh the same -
Golden Days
The editor Of the Gazette has been
urged to have rabbit painted upon
his head. because it is thought that
people might take it for hare.-St
Joseph Herald Later advices from ST.
Joseph assure rs that the publication
Of the abo ve"'cast gloom over the
entire CO immunity" = LeavenUorth
Times -
Bridget, did ycz iver sthop to
think that after yer dead yer niver
safe from these middical students?'
That's so. Dinny. It's wan O. tho
things that's prejudiced me very
much against dyin'." Eve thought
av way to git ahead av 'em."
''How's that?" ''Oim going to worruk
in a powdher mil" -Washington
Critic
Rather Ambiguous.-At a court
martial. the General who presided
said to an Irish soldier, who was a wit
ness: Then I'm to understand that
the accused offered you cigar when
you were doing sentry duty?" Yes
your honor" 'And You declined it?''
Eyes. your honor. '.And what did
he say them" He said: You arc
All ass. your honor. IN Y Ledger.
-"Young man." he asked. "what
is your ambition in life?' ITO get
rich. SIR" replied the young man.
lighting fresh cigar. mot very
high aim. But while You are trying
to get rich. aren't You spending n
good deal of money!" oh. 1 don't
mide the expense. sir. I'm willing to
get rich regardless of cost" IN Y
Cun