The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1887-11-09
The Evils of Gift Giving.

Sham and show. perplexity, annoy
ance and extravaganza have crept into
the customs of gift giving. Though
one may make gift out of the depth
of the heart, and do it becomingly and
unassumingly, yet it seems as if
dozen influences were bearing on him
to force him into greater expense than
he can afford. or to give where he is
reluctant to do so, or where he must
make a show of the article given.
Quiet, unostentatlous, spontaneous
giving shines brightly, when we find it.
amid the dreary heartlessness, the
gaudy show and the heartburnings that
often accompany the formal giving that
Is part of social life.
The reader may call to mind some
wedding or birthday anniversary that
she Is invited to help celebrate. The
problem of all problems, even outrank-
ing the common, '.what shall ] wear"
then is, ''What present shall / send"
1t is not enough to go and participate
in the social duties and to be cordial
in well wishing and congratulation,
for none of this viii pardon the neglect
or oversight of the gift There will be
the question, Where is Mrs. Jackson's
present" and then the unpleasant
| comment, if she has made none
So Mrs jackson sets out to find
some compromise between pride and
purse, perhaps poverty, something
that costs no more than absolutely
compulsory and yet looks as if it were
worth a great deal more, something
that the other guests will not look at
slightingly if not speak of contemptu-
ously, or at least think of in the same
spirit.
And then the guests compare these
proxies of themselves and put them
selves on exhibition, after a fashion,
but in the same way that they would
do, if they were to stand up before a
committee of critics and have the STYLE
and elegance of their clothing passed
upon. The show is at last over, but
the jealousies and heartburnings re-
main, the fear that respecta bility has
been endangered by the insignificance
of the gift, or the overtopping conscious
ness of a few that they each made the
best of one of the best presents of the
| lot
Afterwards, as is more or less the
| custom in some parts of the country,
the names of the donors and brief
description of their gifts, appear in
some newspaper, there to undergo fur
| ther comparison and criticism and all
the train of accompaniments. Finally,
| if the present was valuable enough, it
may find its way to a shop where
| duplicate presents are bought and
sold, so little did the receiver care
| about the personality of the giver, or
of such little use is it to the recipient
| among several other presents of the
same kind.
Gift extortion and compulsory gift
making are little less than sinful, il
they are short of that. Gifts are by
no means always the token of friend.
ship and, when combined with the
abuses that are often made to accom-
| pany them, they are demoralizing, they
| are unpleasant features of what tax,
the form of duties, and they are darl
| spots in social life.
| Something is wrong when presen
is made test of social standing, Of
when it is the prerequisite of perform
ing social act There is an oppor
tunity for reform, when what is appar
emily friendly deed, is confessedl,
empty of honest intent, when it i
burdensome, annoying, compulsory
| falSe-hearted, or made for show, o.
evidence of wealth or merely for socia
conformity.
The only excuse that one can max
for these abuses of gift making, is tha
their compulsory features have tn
effect of putting people into the habit o
making presents at time whel
their friendly feelings have not becom,
strong to prompt the act unaided
With the growth of these feelings, tn,
custom gradually gets better anC
surer foundation and stands NOR,
plainly in harmony with civilization
A gift should be an embodiment o
sentiment. from which cost should b,
totally divorced as an element o
weight, and with which ne social com
pulsion should be linked, except tn,
compulsion of spontaneous expression
of feelings. The world is not gooC
enough for this yet, but some attempt
if only feeble one, if general enough
would be green oasis IN the socia
desert Good Housekeeping.