The Opelousas courier., 1887-12-17
mo PUDDING"
The Joys and Sorrows Of a
Suburban Editor
Who Yields Pen and Compos-
ing Stick With Equal Facility.

Now and then, some one with more
TINA for criticism than work writes a
long article about the shortcomings Of
some journal in the matter of typo
graphy, and in what he imagines to be
a facetious vein proceeds to tear up the
aforesaid journal aud also conveys to
the world a sample of his choice and
elegant diction and well-turned phrases.
Because a manis a philologist, a Greek
scholar, and can analyzs a double tur-
reted sentence at sight, it does not nec-
essarily follow that he is more afiu-
ent or rich in the juices of the world
than the parvenu who uses a lower case
letter to designate the first person sing
ular. To run a newspaper by ''your
lonely, ssas the late VIM. Bacon Shake
speare would say were he living, re-
qulres something more than the mere
ability to parse and conjugate. Many a
man OF scholarly attainments, but of no
business experience, has sat around
doing nothing an would starve but for
the active skirmishing of the more prac-
tical but less learned members of the
family. We do not run this paper to
show or air our tradition. No, sir, we
u it for the scads, large circular esilver
scads. When we receive a check, it is
not rejected and sent back to the maker
with a sarcastic and naughty letter
because there is no periol after sdhe
middle initial of the makers name, or
ii, In the abbreviation of the month,
the full punctuation mark is omitted. It
is well for these supercritical editors
who consume a lot of valuable time in
hunting with a microscope in the col
umns OF suburban papers for inverted
letters and misplaced punctuation marks
that they had influence to catch on and
then retain their places on a wealthy pa
per. Any graduate of college or Adde'S
cent youth can do this act with equal
facility. But when it to running
q weekly in a suburb We will wager the
gate receipts that the above described
editors and fledglings would lose some
Of their cheerfulness and abb
dominal amplitude in performing
the manifold duties falling to
the lot of a country editor. The
office is not supplied with electrical an
nunciators; no well stocked libraries OF
works Of Effereace are ours; no electric
lights she'd their rays oyer u violet
pfdsh-covered furniture, and when we
would sit down, a rheumatic stool IS our
principal rsSance.ap There is an impress
sion prevalent that the editor has a sine.
cure and q valet. and his own private
carriage when he woull travel. The
editor splits his own wood, writes most
Of the copy and has n Remington per-
fected typewriter to help him out, sets
bis own matter, distributes it after
wards. answers a large mail without the
aid of a shorthand amanuensis, trims the
obdurate wick of the smoking kerosene
lamp, and in addition q
all this, placates the irate sub.
scriber, soothes and restores to its nor
NAL position the heaving bosom Of The
! angry politician, swears and fumes al
the omnipresent Office boy, appeases thu
wrath of the man whose name was
! printed wrong in the last issue, gives
satisfactory excuses why all the lads
were not placed between columns d
pure reading matter, condoles with tht
afflicted, and Immediately after irejolc
es with the man who strikes it lucky
and 4 thousand other things likewise
until at the end of the week his rosl
cheeks are no longer rosy and his eye
are marked with blush rings. Man,
of the typographical errors made by u
are due to the dense obtuseness Of TIL
intelligent compositor, and in many In
stances to the innate perverseness b
things inanimate. It is not our aim t
issue week after week, ii edition dl
luxe. The editor has no desire at thi
late day to be conducted through tn
intricacies and n~iceties Of syntax; b
has no intention Of being initiated int
d closer relationship with punctuation
nor will he cease to survive if he dos
not pay more attention to these critica
sjesrnaIists. There IS an old sayinl
that It would be well for these gentr,
to heed, and It runs something like this
ssThose who live ii crockery domicile
should not toss missiles psoHniscuously.
Wnsered Oysters.
Not every lover Of the oyster know
that the size and plumpness which ar
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