Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1887-10-22

wait on nPr assne snOulu De. L eKpe'
the old lady will be ashamed of her
self when that bewitching chamber
maid poses from the roof of the
new Arlington hotel just across the
street. Just think of the COMPARE
son: A chambermaid in pure white
on one side of the sire I, and old
mother Justice ON the other side COW
cred with coal dust. The public
building commissioners should by
all means buy barrel Of soft soap
and send II up to Mrs. j
~
Somebody has sent me an annony-
nous communicate asking me TO
write a funny article on tobacco. ]
would like to do so, but for my life
| can't see anything amusing in the
juicy plant. In old times | am told
that it made the Indians grin to see
it, but for me, oh gracious, its nasty.
My correspondent will have to give
me something easy. The only thing
| can see funny about tobacco is when
the bald head society is grinding it
between their teeth at the theatre
and squirting the juice onto the ladies
fine dresses, making them look as If
cows had sneezei wet bran upon
them.
**
Washing out the mouth with a
spongue swab Isl new wrinkle school
marms have adopted for getting rid
OF white lies in children. / don't
think this feature has been estab-
lished in the schools of GAINESVILLE
yet, but am told that is a sure cure
for all kinds of foul articulation.
The boy or girl who gets the mouth
swabbed out one time in public, is
rather certain to keep the teeth
clinched afterwards | don't recon-
mend the remedy, however, for fear
some policeman might try it on me
for lyirg little.
w
School boys are sometimes trouble
some and we have one of that kind
at our house. Yesterday he asked
me if this sentence was correctly
written: "John said that, that that,
that that boy parsed, was not the that
that he was told to parse" | told
him it was correct and he said he
could not see how sensible English
could be made of it. He is Dunn
my for anybody can see that it is alb
solutely good grammar.
~
l like plucky girls, but the idea of
every young lady in the land combin-
ming their courage to constantly bang
Miss Pie Ann Orr makes me feel like
going to herrescue. Shew at home
the other day with her face paved
awfully; still she ought to made a
good defense as she has four legs and
very well regulated pedals. She
never kicks, however, and every
thing with her is unsteady inclined.
~
1t is announced that three disinter.
ested ladies are to be the judges at
the baby show this afternoon. Now
suppose they are to judge boy babies.
I'd like to know how ladies could
make better judges than men.
I'd like to be one of the judges my
self therefore / think the show folks
are little previous in giving all the
luxuries to the ladies. But as it is
as it is, ! say let Ter go Mrs Gala
CHER!
Near the passenger depot the other
day a very pretty redheaded young
lady passed hurridly by where was
standing, so thought the inevitable
white horse was surely near. ]
looked, and to my surprise saw two
white mules, but no horse. l expect
the white horse was in some stable
near by anticipating that mahogany
top as it fitted past.
The demand for fresh poem in
duces me to say that next week j
will produce an effusion entitled
"When the babe begins to cry" 1t
will be dedicated to all parties con
templating matrimony.
A Fatal Accident.
On Tuesday morning at 8 O'Clock,
little Harmon Seay. a wear and q halt