The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1887-01-13
NEWSPAPER GLEANINGS.

changes are again flying, but there Is no
flying among the members.
Philadelphia North northumberland
S. had a stride of fifteen feet. That of a
man lodging his holiday bills is thirty"
A mans success in politics depends in
go small degree upon his ability to look
cheerful and say nothing.-Philadelp
Press.
Sixty-six pawnbrokers have complied
with the law requiring them to take out
licenses and file an insurance indemnity
bond.
Michael Davitt has travelled 10000 miles,
delivered forty-eight speeches and been
married, all IN a period of less than ten
weeks.
| We still cling to the simple faith that
| the acme of human wisdom is to know
when to lay down poker hand.-Macon
Telegraph.
"Ah, see there is new star in Orion"
observed Mr.. Snaggs. "Orion" repeated
Mrs. Snaggs, 81 have never seen that play,
1 k."-Tid-Bits
If you want to make fortune you must
produce something that appeals to the
sonville Times-Uniop.
Baltimore American:-"The man who
works is the man who succeeds. The way
| to get a fortune is to go after it, and not
to wait for it to come to you"
If variety is the spice of life," exist
ence surely does not lack for seasoning, so
| far as the weather is concerned, this win
ter. Fourteen changes week is DECIDED
ly spicy.
Chicago teacher Ito grammar class
| Correct the sentence, Chicago lay at the
side of Lake Michigan" Grammar class
-"Lake Michigan lays at the side of
Chicago"
Am. Sportsman-"What did I bring
down, Pat?" Pat-"Your own dog, sur;
blew his head all Off" Am. Sportsman
'Where's the bird?" Pat-"Picking at
ther dog, sur."-Llfe.
The Cherokees want authority from con-
gress to tax the railways running through
their territory, the same as the states, and
| to compel the roads to cease discrimina-
ton against the Indians.
Louisville Courier-J Journal: The Rev.
Thomas Knockout is doing good work in
Pennsylvania as an evangelist. If Mr..
Sullivan is anywhere in Pennsylvania he
should go and listen to Mr.. Knockout.
Newington man recently placed a
$500 piano in his house, while the
front hallway remains upholstered, and
mis- front doorstep consists of a dry
goods box, bottom up.-Concord Moni-
tor.
Mistress, to New Help-"You will have
to wash for the whole family" New
Help-"All roight, mum, but it's ther lib
erty I'll be after taking ov saying of thin
that don't wash themselves amt healthy"
Life.
Never wish an unmarried woman of I'M
certain age happy new year. She has
more years already than she knows what
to do with. Wish her marry Christmas
that may suit her case.-New Orleans
Picayune.
be agreeable) Don't you think the de-
butante is charming, Miss Laker?'. Miss
Laker (from Omaha 81 don't know. 1
amt sat on it yet; 1 generally like 'em
better with arms on 'em."-Tid-Bitt
There is a great deal of bosh being
written and printed just now about Mr..
Grady's vice-presidential boom, as though
one harangue could make a vice-president
any more than one swallow could make a
drunk.-Pittsburg (Va.) Index-Appeal.
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette: -"The
calmest liar in creation is little twenty
five cent thermometer on frigid morn
ing. In its deliberate way of telling an
incredible story 1t beats the weather phi
losopher who remembers the cold winter
of 1876"
THE REASON WHY.
Jones-"I see Smith has taken to riding
bicycle. What on earth is he doing that
for?"
Robinson-"O, very simple reason
to prevent Mrs. Smith going with him.
Texas Siftings.
"One of my schoolmates," said an old
man, was rich mans son. was Door
boy. He had more pocket money in a
week than ever handled in my life. He
is now a conductor on street car" "And
your" I'm the driver of the car."-Har
per's Bazaar.
After the clerk had pulled down every
thing in the store without satisfying his
customer, woman, she asked him if there
was anything else he had not shown her.
"Yes, ma'am," he said, "the cellar; but if
you wish it l will have that brought up
and show it to YOU"
A Massachusetts man who lay down in
an old tannery to sleep off a drunk was
bitten in 442 different places by rats be-
fore he sobered up sufficient to know what
was going on. He, however, fatters him
self that it was better than having them in
his boots.-Detroit Free Press.
A little boy belonging to the Children's
Missionary society in Mortified, and who
has learned the blessedness of giving, re-
marked to a comrade: "Before went to
those meetings was stingy, mean sort
of fellow, but now think I'm coming
out all right!"-Christian Intelligencer.