Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1887-03-25
EATABLE.

Eight girls now in Wellesley college intend
to be missionaries. Happy cannibals! The
Wellesley flavor is delicious.-Boston Herald
Miss D. E. Collete-Do you approve of the
nude in art, Mr.: Fitz Joness Mr.. Fitz Jones
We'll, don't know. I think it is better
there than in soeiety.-Judge.
Mistress (severelyeI have made the fire
and cooked the breakfast! New servant
Well mum, you needn't wait for me. After
this sit down and ate whin yez git it ready
Life.
Literary Matron-What does Shakespeare
mean by his frequent use of the phrase,
go toa" Matter-of fact husband-Well,
perhaps he thought it wouldn't be polite to
finish the sentence.
A New Hampshire man, whose wife was
killed on the railroad, settled with the COM
pany for $25. 1t is thought that if the COM
pany had held out little longer he would
have handed over $50 and called it square
Nor. Herald.
The little folks have q wonderful gift of
expression, even if their vocabulary is some
what limited. Little "Richy," an up town
toddler, wasn't feeling very well, and his
mother solicitously inquired what was the
matter. 81 feel as if some of me was dead"
was the expressive reply.-Hartford Post.
"Anybody lose dollar." he called out at
the rear door of the street as he held mp
new bill. eyes, sir, did," replied three
different men in choras. "Oh-you did.
Sorry for you, but this is two dollar bill
and I've had it for week. Beats all how
careless some folks OF their dollars!'-
Detroit Free Press.
Indignant Husband-Now, think this is
going too far. You promised me you would
countermand your order for that dress.
Meek and Lovely Wife-I wrote to the firm
that very day. Husband-But here is the
dress and the bill for it-enough to bank
aIv 40 ,,1oiy, fhaf2
Wife, gave you the letter to mail, and I
suppose you forgot it as usual.-Omaha
World.
Schuyler Walden, the Wall street broker,
is famous dog fancier. He owns hand
some mastiff. One day last week the broker
received telegram at his Office running thus:
''Dog has swallowed diamond rings; what
sent was brief, but to the point: "Tie up the
dog" The rings were recovered, and the dog
is now ENTHUSIASTICALLY Eagle.
A Sunday school teacher asked her schol-
ars each to learn verse to recite at the next
anniversary meeting appro pirate for the oc-
casion. They all came prepared the next
Sunday and all went off well till it came to
the last, a very little boy, in whose ear the
teacher whispered as he came up: "Now
speak out loudly Johnnie" johnnie, reluc-
| family dropping his money in the box, shout
ed out: ''The fool and his money are soon
parted"
With gloomy face and hat askew, with
hair unkempt, unpublished shoe, with slouch-
ing gait and actions queer, his necktie fast
ened meath his ear he scuf1es ulkily along,
and looks as if there's something wrong.
Would'st know what means that battered
hat, that rusty. ragged, old cravat, that
shambling gait, that tangled hair, that sui
| len aspect of despair? Approach and whisper
| in his "Erastus, what's to pay, my
dear9' And hear old 'Rastus, grumbling,
say, E'My wife is cleaning house to-day
| Chicago Tribune.
He's fought in full many a battle,
Been covered with glory and gore;
He loved the artillery g rattle,
Won medals of gold by the score.
He's been sung as battle SCARED hero
Who reioiced in the cannon's sound;
But his martial soul sinks to zero
Whenever his wife's around.