The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-03-20
GOING A-BARGAINING.

OVlNU A-BAKGAININU.
Written for the Sunday Journal.
The inquring mind must needs ponder the
why and wherefore involved in woman's great
fondness for bargains. Is it that she has a
smaller purse than man, or greater greed and
more graspng soul' Be that as it may she has
ruling weakness for getting things below
price, and the greater the reduction the moro
buoyantly triumphant she appears The woman
who chases bargains always reads tie papers.
Merchants have her in mind when they adver
tise; but by mistaken arrangement the
most alluring announcements always appear in
the Sunday issues. What shall it profit a
woman if she steer clear of the Clara Belle let
tiers to wreck her devotional frame of mind on
proclamations of ''Great Bargains. Special
Sales! Stupendous Slaughters!" Strong mind
ed, indeed, Is she il she can get
through the day without permitting cheap
handkerchiefs to become mixed with her hymns
cheap shoes with her supplications; or the thread
of the sermon to be badly and ixextricably
tangled with enticine visions of great bargains
in embroider!es. Monday dawns, and the
woman who is to 90 a bargaining arises betimes
when the lark arose, up rose Catalina
How she flies through the mornings work to
expedite her departure for the seat of war
that it makes their heads SWIM and the brio a.
brac on the mantel gets such hustling with
the feather buster that it's nerves don't get over
it for week. War-paint and feathers she dons
hastily, scourged on by the fear that every other
woman IN town will get there before she does.
Once on the field of action, she feels tiny mite
ashamed of her What mob of women
pulling and hauling over a lot Of noffensive and
defenseiess handkerehiefs IAN pure linen
| initial handkerchiefs, for -! cents each!" To be
sure the linen Is coarse. and the handkerehiefs
are undersize, but then that initial; and only
III cents-such a bargain! So she buys them.
knowing that she doesn't like small handker
chiefs, and she can't abide coarse linen, but
then they such bargain; and besides, she
solaces herself: 'They are good enough to
lose" as if she bought handkerchiefs for that
Oh. what hubbnb! Bedlam couldn't haye
held candle to it; the tower of Babel must
bave been "a concourse Of sweet sounds COM
| pared with it. If woman becomes slightly exhil-
arated over cheap handkerehefs she goes clean
| daft when she finds bargain in gloves. From ap-
| pearances, every woman who had read the Sun
| day papers had told every woman she saw at
church and on the way home and all these
| women had told all the women they knew, out
| of side windows and over back fences: and the
| entire sum total had descended, at break Of day
| on three Inflated clerks at this one glove
counter All gabbng at once, all grabbing at
once, over each others shoulders and under each
| others arms. "Tll take these. pii take those
| Have you any green2 Have you any bIack9 Give
me 6! in this color. Give me 64 in that color
| This is the size l want, but it isn't the color
This is the color want, but it isn't my size. !"
| The woman who is out a-bargainine gets a pair
of grey gloves. not just the shade of her
| dress. but then they are only 80 cents. She
| gets pair of green ones, not just the right
| green, but then such bargain!-and brown
| pair which do not match an thing on the earth
| or under the earth, but they are SO cheap. More
| women come in, and more women come in, ard
| more women come in; and more grabbing and
more Cabling go How the clerk ever knows
| what's what and which is who's, nobody knows.
and if they have their right senses when bed
time comes they will surely De astonished them
| selves. The woman who goes a bargaining and
puts her whole soul into it. isn't handsome
| object, generally speaking. She gets excited
and her hair gets frowsy; her hat gets on one
| side, and sometimes tha puckerations get torn
out Of her overskrt She forgets her
| young Ladies' GUIDE to Gentee Behavior,
and jams in between other women, and
they glare at her and say: "Well, did you everf
| or, "Some folks haven't grain of manners" but
little recks she, If she only succeeds in getting
something for almost nothing She an exception,
however, to the praise Of the sex DE it spoken.
| Silk gloves have been advertised at low prices
and our woman out a-bargaining mas visions OF
getting in all her summer gloves at one fell
swoop and small OUTLAY. "Let me see you,
cheap silk gloves" I'm afraid we are
Fights and mines IN pumpkin yellow and dried
apple brown would not be likely to draw much
of crowd or give very intense satisfaction.
She loiters past sale of damaged shoes and
overhears a bit of conversation between two col
ored women also the bargain war path
"Maw here's where you git them shoes for 81
cents" and NAV" replies with astonishing, bu
discouraging. discernment: Eyes, and you'll
wear them just about thirty minutes" No more
worlds to conquer. Our bargain hunter
signs q regretful sign and takes tn,
car for home. Once in that reposeful spot fa
! from the madding crowd of grab and gable
. she sits down to cold rejudiced contempla
ton of her great bargains. The handkerchief
look cheap. as she knew they would; and thu
gloves do not match, as she knew they wouldn't
AS she looks out of the window and sees other
of her sisterhood skurryng by with unmistake
able bargain-hunting expressions on their faces
she smiles and remarks to herself ''She VIII
goes a-bargaining doesn't ALWAYS catch a bar
GAIN but she has lots Of fun.n
But" we PERSIST. twill experience teach he
arything2 Will she ever go again2"
And she answers, not with profane intent, i
the words Of a colored brother:
: "De Lord only knows chile
De Lord only knows" i. 9.
, Now Is the Time
. Applicant ito dime museum manl-Tm lool
, ing for job.
) | Dime Museum Man-What's your speciality
D--ln