Wichita eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1886-1890, 1887-09-03
A CONSCIENTIOUS UNCLE.

| There was not large gathering at the last
meeting of the Criterion club, but it was an
earnest one. There was noticeable absence
| of undue 1evity, and the exchange Of that
| meaningless persihage SO common when gen.
| tlemen of social predictions congregate was
| as if by common consent tabooed The meet
| ing was on the Monday evening after the
memorable dry Sunday of May s, 1887.
Whether the somewhat subdued tone of the
| club was due to that great metropolitan phe-
| nomenon the historian of the club does not
presume to say. But he has his opinion and
| it is one which no amount of evidence to the
| contrary can change. The exhibition lunch
on the caterers sideboard seemed more shrunk
by age than usual, and showed SO plainly the
| need of the renovating hand of the property
| man that there was no danger of any person,
present for the first time, committing the error
once made by a visitor, who, looking about the
apartments, sought to sample the Saratoga
chips, the English cheese, and the tempting
ham, apparently just in its first slicing down
to the bone. The visitor was not aware of
the fact that the layout was gift from Shed
Shook and Jim Collier on their retirement
from the management of the Union Square
theatre some years ago, and a relic of the
stage properties under that management.
When Shakespeare wrote, cage cannot
wither nor custom stale its infinite Variety
he had not this bric-a-brac lunch OF the Cri-
terion club on the line of his prophetic
vision. And on Monday night It showed SO
palpably the need of retouching that Caterer
Collins humanely covered it with cloth and
hid it from the Implying glare of the gas
light above it,
"If the members present." by and by spoke
up Brother Hal Young, late of Cincinnati,
'would be pleased to hear q story in which
there is no extraVagant straining after either
a ludicrous or an ultra dramatic effect. in
which | will not attempt to WOO the comic
muse nor linger in doleful dalliance with sad
eyed tragedy, and in the telling of which
truth will be my prompter, they have only to
signify their pleasure and I'll let her CO."
No one said he would be pleased to hear
the story, but every one said to Brother
Young that be might as well let her so.
at can't be any worse than yesterdays
was" said the caterer.
And so the story began.
IF there ever was a conscientious man."
said Brother Young, ''that man was my
CDcle ne WIS IL
Then you might say: a preacher. Why
shouldn't he be conscientious But I've
known preachers in my time, gentlemen,
who were not so overwhelmingly burdened
with conscientiousness, after all. But my
Uncle Reuben was all conscience, SO to speak.
l could tell You chapters of incidents illus
trating his exceeding consciousness. He
would never eat fish or strawberries for
breakfast on Monday, fearing that they
might have been caught or picked
on Sunday. Once he married a
young couple, and the bridegroom
gave him So as his fee At that time my
uncle was very poor, and he was in great
need of SIS to buy actual necessaries; but an
hour or 50 after receiving the fee he learned
that the man who had paid it to him had
sold a load of potatoes to a saloon keeper in
the place, and my uncle was fearful that the
IS was some of the money the saloon keeper
had made by selling beer that he told me
himself that he intended to return the fee to
the young man at once; and, do you know,
the fellow was mean enough to deny ever
having received the money back when men,
toned it to him afterward in Boosting of my
uncle's consciousness.
"Well, that was the way my uncle felt
ebout things He was preaching in little
town, at q small salary. While he was in
that town an old classmate of his in college
came to see him. The classlnate was canvass
ing for subscribers to a religious magazine,
at IS q subscriber, and my uncle took him all
around and made personal appeals for him.
More than 100 people subscribed, and at my
uncle's suggestion paid the money in advance.
The claSsmate went away. The magazines
Were to commence coming in few days.
They never commenced. That was q great
blow to my uncle, and when one day he over
| heard one of the members of his church say
to another that if the dominic got less than
half of the amount the canvasser collected he
was fool, it was more than he could bear
and he resigned at once. He went away, and
some of his congregation were heartlesS
enough to say it was pity he forgot to re
turn the S25 advance he had received on his
salary, when I've often heard my uncle say
he had hard work to get money from the
church at all
1.-THE town he went 20 from the unapprecia
| tive place he Sc Indignantly left was large
town. There was a church of his denomina
ton there which had just been built. There
was debt on it, and it had no pastor My
what he could do. Among the members Of
the church was an eccentric old gentleman Of
the name of Jason Horn. He was worth
| about $4,000, and was a bachelor with two
nephews, who expected TO inherit his wealth
| About six months after my uncle took charge
of the church old Horn fell i'll. During The
| first few DAYS of his illness lie declared thai
he would not leave his money TO any one who
= L..
| nephews were neither of them church mem
bers nor attendants but after they had heard
their uncle's declarations they suddenly be
came deeply interested in religious matters
and the first thing the town knew the two
prospective heirs of old Jason Horn haC
| Joined the church and were its most devou
members
1.-TWO months after Horn was taken i'll j,
| died, but before he died he sent for my uncle
| his two nephews and his lawyer. They al
| met around his bed; the lawyer produced ;
| document, and. at the order of the dying
man, read it. 1t was Horns last will and ties
| lament. 1t bequeathod s., 600. in the form o
q check, to pay the debt on the church. TheI
| it declared that the testator had become dis
| gusted with his nephews for joining TIL
| church simply to insure their legacy, and s.
the testator's will was that all the rest of hi
money. amounting TO $4,000 in bank bills
his entire property having been converted
| into cash by his l2wyer-should be buries
| with him. Soon after the VIII was read tn
| old man died. and it was the first instance oil
| record that man ever listened to the read
ing of the provisions of his own viii, to en-
force them by his dying word of mouth a
| well
~Great excitement followed. The nephew
contested the viii while the old man lay dead