The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-04-29
HUMOROUS.

Cinnamon in our Eastern cities are
so frequently stoned by the hoodlums
that they can never be prevailed upon
to sing Crock Me to Sleep"
-'What is more surprising than a
snow-storm in July?" asks writer.
Did you ever step into closet in a
new house and find yourself in pickle
jar down cellar?
Mistress (severely)-'I have made
the fire and cooked the breakfastr'
New Servant = "Well, mum, you
needn't wait for me. After this, sit
down and ate whin yez git ready. -
Life.
Boston Man (to New Yorker)-
elbow long have you been here?" New
Yorker = Couple O. days" Boston
Man-"What have you been doing
with yourself?" New Yorker (wearily)
Paying four dollars day for board"
N. Y. San.
AS gentleman slowly tasted his
chowder, at hotel table, he remarked:
81 like grit. A man can't be too full
of grit to suit me; but when it comes
to grit in clam chowder, [ can not feel
the slightest enthusiasm for it. IN z.
Ledger.
-"What wts the rush last night,
old man? You left ahead of the par
ty." "Did II thought | took all the
heads of the whole party with me from
the size of the one 1 have on me this
morning. Only headP Bless you,
got on full bust. "-BMrdette.
-"I don't see how you can get so
much news into your paper" said the
village clergyman to the village editor,
"seeing that you have no local report
En-" ooh! that's easily explained,
replied the editor. ''My wife belongs
TO three sewing societies in the village.
and she has an excellent memory"
and That He Couldn't Help
He was a youth of high degree,
His collar monstrous tall;
Ho Uttered pretty little lithp,
And danced at every ball;
He ogled every girl he saw,
His nerve was mostly gall;
He had bad cold in his head,
And-that was all.
Wife" Did you get me those tiles
l spoke about this morning?n Hus-
bsnd--"No, 1 didn't. When / told
the salesman what I wanted them for
he burst out laughing" Wife-"I
don't see why; every body paints on
tiles. What art store was it?" Hus-
band" krt store? I didn't 90 to an
art store, went to a hatters Dos
to'a Budget.
=" Two Rohe nians are seated in a
cabaret: ''Garcon, some WATER cries
ore of them. "Some water" ex-
claims the other. ''Why, what will
you do with itPn "Drink it." "You
mast have lost your head, old man.
Why, when you only get your feet wet
you catch c1d. Think of the conse-
quences of getting it into your stom-
ich! '-French Fun.
Among the begging letters recent
~ received at the office of a benevo-
lent society was one running thus:
'This unfortunate young man is the
only son of widow who died childless,
and his earnings maintain his aged IA
ther and infant brothers, whose whole
support he is The secretary of the
bureau wrote on the margin of the
epistle the following note: 1.-THE cir
cumstances of this case are evidently
exaggerated. THE Baptist Weekly.
-Mistaking the door young Mr..
Cipher walked into the dentists Office
instead CT the doctors. doctor, y
he groaned, I'm in bad shape. NV
head aches all the time and | can't do
any thing with it. Eyes, yes said
Dr.. Toothaker, cheerfully. Il see; big
cavity in it; must be hollow; you'll
need to have it filed" And seeing his
mistake young Mr.. Cipher apoiogized
and went out and told it all around as
a capital joke on the dentist, Bur
dette.