davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
STRESS RESOLUTIONS.
BY LARRY 11ENEr.


All is uncertainty In this world, save
death. Old Father Time holds a lien on
pur lives that must be paid. Uncertainty
Surrounds everything else, and especially
the payment Of old debEs. When sickness
lays heavy hand upon US, We are in bet
tor frame OF mind TO give them cOnsidera-
ton.
What good resolutions are formed about
this time! We sOlemnly conclude to pay
all our just debts. By Just debts We mean
those perhaps, now worrying US most in
the shape Of daily duns handed In by the
pOstnan- Other small bills contracted at
forgotten periods OF time come IN last for
a share OF cur consideration. Yes, If We
ever get well, Wen pay our debts, with in
terest at ten per cent. or more, If they
ask il.
We conclude to forgive our enemies, and
pass over the many little Inconvenience
OccasiOned by the reduction of our near
neighbours coal heap. If the said neigh
Dor accused Us OF apprOpriadng property
on his side Of the fence, We forgive him
now, and Try to coax consolation from the
slim possibility Of the fence being placed
too far over on our lot; likewise the hen
roOst.
Should Father Time conclude that the
thread of life is hardly worth cutting Just
at present, and We rise once more to min
gle with others in the great battle of life,
we do not forget our good resolutions, but
merely lay them on the table for after con
sideration, to be regulated by existing cir
cumstances.
Again we are threatened with dissolution,
and this tune We firmly resolve to keep
our word and fulfill the promises repeated
" made our anxious creditors, if we are
only spared. Perhaps we are spared. OUl
creditors eall-numerOus creditors, numer-
GUS calls.
We are in a state Of feverish anxiety.
The climate, We find, has much 10 dc
with our late illness, and at night is al
ways the best time for moving. 1t is sc
quiet then that one can hear himself think
and not be bothered by a penuriOus land.
lord who might seriously retard progress
toward the desired goal-exit. We leave
the key in the door to testify to our honesty
even IN trivial matters.
Thus we move, from city to hamlet, from
hamlet to city, as financial embarrassment
require. Even Canada, cold as it is, may
get too hot for US.
But only bank Presidents and cashiers
and other trustworthy guardians of the
public's wealth, seem TO like its climate
best. We small fry prefer to swing, pen
dulum-like, from one end of the United
States to the other.
At last we are caught mapping by Fathe
Time and hurried of the stage of life with
out a chance to wash up and clear on
record Of musty resolutions and stall
debts. Yes, all is uncertainty In this world
! even to the payment of old debts.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
OYLY a aFECHAYTC.

"BOys," says an exchange, "do not
sneer at the hard-working mechanic,
for beneath that dust-soiled Jacket may
Turk the spirit of nobility"
The exchange is eminentIy correct.
1t Is, indeed, wrong to pass through
the world sneering at mechanics. A
good, average, abIe-bodied mechanic is
bad man to sneer at. At almost any
unexpected moment he is quite liable to
transfer some of the dust on his jacket
to the broadcloth coat Of the sneerer
and jolt him severely if he sneers too
hard at the mechanic. If a boy or
young man is contemplating sneering
at a mechanic, it would be quite as
we'll not to let the Woodworking me
chanic catch him at it. When the boy
wants to sheer real badly, and feels
that he can't hold in any longer, it
would be far better, instead Of pIung-
ing right into the midst of a lot of
Woodworking mechanics, to seek some
secluded locality and have his sneer all
out to himself It would look a great
deal better, and the boy would look
better when he went home to the
bosom Of his family.
No, boys, it is neither polite, genteel,
nor wise to sheer at a mechanic.
Neither IS it healthy. The habitual
sneerer at mechanics is sometimes cut
of in the flower Of his youth. Life is
too short to indulge in such periIous
recreation. The sneerer is too often
found in a pensive mood, abstractedIy
engaged in applying pieces of raw
beefsteak to his eyes, trying to reduce
a swollen nose with generous decoctions
Of arnica, feeling his lame back, or
picking the gold filing out of the teeth
which he happened to casually cough
up soon after indulging in his playful
little sneer at the Woodworking me-
chanic.
This is a practical lesson IN parlor
etiquette which the youth viii not be
liable to forget in a month or six weeks.
The next time he feels called upon to
sheer it may be at a COW with a board
over her face, or a poor blind girl, but
1t viii not be at a mechanic. Polite
ness pays in the long run. and the les
| son can never come home to q young
man with greater force or earnestness
than when he takes occasion to con-
temptuousIy sneer at a Woodworking
mechanic, and the mechanic happens,
at the time, to be looking that way
/ TerGS jSiJtjpgS.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Kansas Produces Nothing But Wonders.
Just now South Central Kansas is ali ex-
element about inland sea bathing in the
Salt Lake near Geuda Springs, Kansas. It
is said to be the only inland salt lake in the
United States except the one in Utah, and is
pronounced by medical experts to contain
properties that make it much superior to
surf bathing.
The springs at that place are also one of
the strange natural curiOsities of this CONT
nent, being seven in number and each diff
ferent IN mineral constituents, and are all
situated within a space of thirty feet square.
A complete analysis of these springs has
never been made, but the excitement caused
by the cure of several cases supposed here
tOtOre to be inCurable, and notably one of
them being AddisOn's disease, for which, it
is said by medical works, there is no cure,
has caused the corporation who have recent
ly purchased the springs to employ Prof. Z.
Il. 3. Bailey, Professor of Chemistry, Ne
talurgy and MineralOgy, in the Kansas State
| University, one of the most eminent Chem
lists in this country, to make a critical guam
titatIve analysis in order to determine each
mineral ingredient and the amount of it,
contained in these mineral waters, and as
soon as completed it will be made public.
In the meantime, the Geuda Mineral Springs
| Company, of the town by that name, is be-
| ing Hooded with inquiries from every state
| in the Union, and 1t now looks as II Saratoga
| and other prominent resorts are to be for
! gotten IN the excitement over this new Kan
/ sas wonder.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
Many People Refuse to Take Cod

Liver Oil on account Of its unpleasant taste.
This difficulty has been overcome in SOOTT's
EMULSION of Cod Liver Oil with Hypophos-
phites. 1t being as palatabIe as milk and
the most valuable remedy known for the
treatment of Consumption, ScrOfula and
Bronchitis, General Debility, Wasting Dis
eases of Children, Chronic Coughs and Colds,
has caused physicians in all parts of the
world to use it. Physicians report our little
patients take it with pleasure. Try SCOTS
Emulsion and be convinced.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

The young men have Just found out the
new MOXie there IS such a craze about will
break an intOXication and remove the effects
of any kind of dissipation at once, and after
a nights racket they take a mug of it and
wake up good as new in the morning. It
takes the nervous, tired feeling out of Wo-
men so quick, they literally swarm after it.
1t contains no alcohol or poison. The chem
lists say it can be taken in large quantities as
safely as Cruel. We sincerely hope it viii
substitute liquors. For a wonder, it is only
80 cts. quart bottle. 1t is said to cure some
kinds of paralysis.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Among the important articles Of diet
for soft-billed birds are ant-eggs and
meal-Worms, which are very essential
to the nourishment of feathered song
sters in captivity. Just now they are
very scarce indeed. In fact, those who
have a supply are pretty sure to be dis
inclined to share with their neighbOrs,
either for money or as a favor. The
eggs come from South America and are
imported by a firm IN New York. They
are very light IN weight and cost 70
cents q pound The worms, in warm
weather, can generally be found in
large quantities IN or about any -four
mill or meal bin, when a mOistened
product has become heated. A gentle
man IN search Of these delicacies yes
terday visited a prominent feed and
seed store, where they are generally
sold, and in response to his inquiry the
clerk said: 1--WE have no worms and
nary an egg. We had about a hundred
pounds Of eggs stored In an upper floor
of this building. A new man that we
had engaged was directed to clean up
the room. He saw the eggs, wondered
why all that rubbish was allowed to ac-
cumulate. and fired them into the ash
box on the sidewalk. "-BLLGdlO COlJT-
Ter
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
wnEREl MAN SHOULD DIE
" .ronlrnE nAnnY.

How litsIs rseks it Wlsrs men should die
When once the moments past
IN which the dim and gazing eye
Haa looked on earth It's last
WHISTLER beneath the aculptured urn
The cohlned form shall rest
or, "A ita nhkedness, return
Back 70 its mother breastt
Death is q common friend or foe
Az different men may hold,
And at its summons each must go
The timid aud the bold;
But when the spirit. free and warm
Deserts it, as i- must.
What matter where tho litel5H5 form
DisaoIvsa again Co dust2
iTvvers sweet indeed 20 close our eyes
With those We cherish near.
And. waited upward by their slghas
s. ar 70 some calmer sphere;
Bat. whether on the scunold high
or Ia the battles van.
The htteat place whore man can die
Is whore he dies for man.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

The Nineteenth Century Club is an organ
ization that will consist Of an equal number
Of men and women. 1t is hardly to be ex-
pected that they will agree on all subjects;
but 1t can surprise no one to learn that DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery" is
unanimously pronounced the most success
full remedy eXtant, for pulmonary cOnsump-
ton, as has been demonstrated in hundreds
of cases; it positively arrests this disease and
restores health and strength, if administered
in its early stages. By druggists.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

A woman, it is said, is no older than she
looks. Many women, however, look double
their actual age by reason OF those function
al disorders which wear upon the nerves and
vitality, and which, if unchecked, are liable
to change the most robust woman to a weak,
brOken-dOwn invalid. DR.. Pierce's "Favor-
tie Prescription" will positively cure every
irregularity and weakness peculiar to the
! sex, and requires but a single trial to prove
l its surprising merit. Price reduced to one
/ dollar. By druggists.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
Take Notice.
To County SllperiHtsndsnts and Teachers Of
Schools IN Kansas md Nebraska:

Schools IN Kansas and Nebraska:
We take pleasure in announcing to all who
propose to attend the National Educational
association convention at Chicago, July u
to Is, 1887, that the Chicago, Rock Island &
Pacific railway company VIII sell excursion
tickets from Council Bluffs, st. Louis, At
Gibson, LeavenwOrth and Kansas City to
Chicago and return for one fare, $3.50, the
round triE-plus s., which entities the hold
er to membership and admittance to the
association. Sale of tickets July
. to u, good going July 6 to Is, in
elusive, returning July 10 to Is, inclu-
sIve, but not before July 15 Limit on re-
turn viii be extended, as desired, but not
beyond September 8, 1887, on application to
MIR. John n. Abbott, chairman Western
States Passenger Association, Home 1nsur-
ance building, Chicago, If applied for during
continuance of meeting or prior to July rs.
Return tickets to be stamped by Secretary
of National Educational Association. The
Rock Island traYerses the most highly cult
waited and picturesque sections OF the mid
die West" Its passenger equipment IN
cludes all the comforts and luEuries guGran-
teed by magnificent Pullman sleeping cars,
elegant dining cars, furnishing delicious
meals and restful reclining chair cars.
Smooth steel track, rock-ballasted roadway,
bridges OF stone and iron, officials IN charge
of trains courteous and ObhgiHg. Safety,
certainty, celebrity and a most enjoyable trip
assured to all of you who travel. via the
Great Rock Island route" If further IN
formation is desired. address A. II. MOhet,
q. S. W. T.. A., Kansas City, Mo; S. S.
Stevens, general agent, Omaha, Neb.; i. A,
HOlbrOOk, q. T.. IL =. A., Chicago, III.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

WHATEVER name or designation is given to
Fever and Ague, or other intermittent dis
eases, it is safe to say that Malaria or a dis
ordered state Of the Liver Is at fault. Elimi-
nate the impurities from the system and a
sure and prompt cure is the immediate re-
suit. Prickly Ash Bitters is the safest and
most effective remedy for all hillary troubles,
kidney diseases, and like complaints that
has ever been brought before the public. A
trial is its best recommendation.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Fifty live men with a capital of 500 and
upwards to buy county rights of the greatest
invention of the age. Address The Kansas
EddisOn Electric Fire Extinguisher Com
pany, 435 Kansas Avenue, Topeka, Kansas.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
During T715 ETaTIIIIs.

In the time of a famine a rich man
permitted the poorest children of the
city to come to his house, and said to
them: "There stands a crate full Of
bread Each Of you may take a loaf
from it, and you may come every day
until God sends better times.
The children at once surrounded the
basket, striving and quarreling over
the bread, because each desired to OBJ
tain the finest, and finally went off
without a word of thanks.
Only Franziska, a clean but poorly
clad little girl, remained standing at
q distance, then took the smallest of
the Ioaves left in the basket, kissed her
hand gratefully to the man, and went
quietly and becOmngly home.
On the next day the children were
equally ill-mannered, and Franziska this
time had a loaf which was scarcely
half as large as the others.
But when she reached home and her
mother broke the bread, there fell out
a number of new silver pieces. The
mother was frightened, and said:
"Take the money back at once, fOl
it certainly got into the bread by acct
dent.
Franziska did as she was bid. But
the benevolent man said to her:
mo, no, it was not an accident;
had the silver baked In the smallest
loaf in order to reward thee, thou good
child. Ever remain as peace-loving and
satisfied"
He who would rather have a smaller
loaf than quarrel about a greater, vii
always bring a blessing to the home
even though no gold is baked in tht
bread.
sir Roger Ticbborne, OF England, wa;
cured Of rheumatism by the use Of st
Jacobs Oil and recommends it highly
Sold by Druggists and Dealers every.
where.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

To know that Catarrh and bad breath can
easily be aueviated if not cured by simple
inexpensive remedy which one can obtain
and use. One dollar sent to the undersigned
will bring full advice,
ROBERT MILLER JR.,
Box go. Kansas City.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Young or middle-aged meE, suffering from
nervous debility or kindred affections, should
address with 10 cents in stamps for large
treatise, Worlds Dispensary Medical Asso-
citation, 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N. Y.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Whsn Baby WA sick, We gave her CastOaA.
When she was Child, she cried for Castoria,
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria.
Whon she had Children, she gave them Castoria,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

An auctioneer does as he is bid, post
man as he is directed.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

"A bonnet covered with birds does not
sing, but it makes a wise man whistle when
the bill comes in.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

"A fuIl-blooded Indian, 80 years old, was
ordained a deacon in an Episcopal church
in Minneapolis last week.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

One quick at repartee must necessarily
have a good responsibility.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
The Practical and the Impractical.

Practical Man-Why dear, what's
the matter with dinner2
Impractical Wife-There isn't any
thing in the house to eat. Well have
to 90 to the hotel for dinner. Thank
fortune the drug stare down street now
has a telephone, so you won't have to
go far to summon a cab.
At gave you plenty Of money for pro
visions this morning"
ayes, but I spent a part OF it for a set
of the latest French eOOk-boOks-
French are such wonderful cooks you
know"
II didn't know you could read
French"
al can't, but have engaged a French
teacher, and that took all the money
had. "-OmGhG Void
IT is only when we fight braVsly
srainst our own failings that We can be
uaEent With others.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
90. WINTERsMETH,s $500.


Col Dick Wintersmith was trying to
write letter in a room where Dan
Voorhees,, Beverly Tucker and two or
three others were sitting. These three
gentlemen formed a conspiracy to
worry him and prevent his writing.
Every time he would put pen to paper
one or the other would ask him ques-
ton. At last old Judge Key came in,
and the Colonel greeted him very cor
daily.
Judge" said the Colonel, "I wish
you would sit down and tell us about
/ your trip to Europe"
did I never tell you about my life
In Europe ?" said the Judge with some
surprise.
"NO. never. The gentlemen want to
hear it. "
The Judge turned to hang up his
/ coat and hat and the Voorhees, party
made for the door. When he wssready
to take his seat no one was present but
Col Wintersmith-
where those gentiemen?" asked the
Judge.
"They are gone, sir, said Col Dick;
'they wanted to insult you by leaving.
1t is an outrage. would seek salts
faction"
The Judge. being Of fiery nature,
put on his overcoat at once and lstarted
In hot chase after the offenders. As
soon as he got out Of the door Col.
/ Wintersmith quietly locked It and wrote
his letter. Boston Advertiser.
PRoB. Carl HECKER, the art teacher,
pays the American girls q compliment
He has discovered. he says, more latent
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

-Phonography is taught in the schools a
Blair, Neb.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

OK the day, in 5ly, that King Ar
thur won a great victory over the
Saxons, Devil, or David, afterWard
archbishop Of St. David's, ordered the
Welsh soldiers to place Eeek in their
caps. It is to this circuntstance that
the ieek's selection as the eemhiem Of
Wales F. described.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
Cure for . Racket.

The long iron bridge at Bismarck, D. T.,
contracts and expands eleven inches by the
heat and cold.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

PATENTS obtained by Louis Baggar & Co., At
tOrneys, Washington, D. @ Esd. 1864 Advice free.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

If afflicted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac
ThompsOn's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
Woman,s Ace.

Honest merchant is a plain dealer; car
penter is palmer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Princeton College is to have a woman's
t'annex."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

When time hangs up his scythe there'I
be no mower.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

"A doctor at Ignace, Mich, is also an IN
dertaker.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

A STORY from Wilmington, N. O.,
says that a colored woman who was
ridicuIing another woman for singing a
hymn suddenly felt a burning sensa-
ton In the palm of her hand. On look
ing she saw it was discolOred and the
words Church Of God" were written
in blood-red capitals in half circle on
the lower part Of the palm. 1t is said
that the phenomenon has been seen by
hundreds Of people. The discoloratiOn
is fading out.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Col R. S. Withers, Fair Lawn Stock
Farm, KY, and Joseph Cairne Simpson,
Esq, Secretary Pacific Coast Blood
Horse Association, commend st. Jacobs
Oil for all horse complaints. Sold by
Druggists and Dealers.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

TIE Electrical ReUjelg gives the fol-
lowing as q lining metal superior 10
@babbitt:" Melt IN 3 cFucible one and
a half pounds Of copper, and while
this is melting get big iadls and melt
twenty-five pounds Of tin and three of
sntdmonys heat it red not and pour the
Two together and stir tn thoroughly
mixed
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption.
Cures where other remedies fail.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

PROF.. Carl HECKER, the art teacher,
pays the American girls q compliment.
He has discovered. he says more latent
talent for art in the United States than
IN any other country but It he's been
wasted
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

THE Medical AdUOcdte remarks that
the heavy work of the world is not
done by the men who eat the greatest
quantity, or who live upon meat.
Spanish peasants, Smyrna porters and
coolies, are all good workers and yege-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Many followers, but little influence: !
hand organ.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09
IL ECoNoAnCAL 80.


She's a dashing little student
OF economy, and prudent,
In most painstaking fashion,
would really have you know;
And she looked with eyes upglaucing,
Most beWitchingly enhancing,
And my thoughts new back to courtship,
Many happy years ago.
Soon her gaze grew fond and fOnder,
And then began to ponder
Some sweet words I'd whisper to her
OF a liberty I'd take;
But she smiled a smile platOuic
AS she said in words lGcOnic:
what a splendid lot OF carpet rags
Your oVercoat would makeI1
San Francisco Post
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

-Sponges have been discovered IN the
lake at Chautauqua, n. j.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

For SAGE-A 75-horse power engine Of
George W Iift,s make ia good eondillons
ready for delivery at Topeka, Kan. address To-
peiZa Power Co. Topeka, Kan.
a. - 10 50 a DAY. Samples worth $50 FEiEE- Lines
- - not under tie horses feet write flrsssfl
OPIUM M 5q q55ss 20 as7.t s S9 Pss
ttlI cured Oh. j. STEPHENS lebanon, Chic.
KIN. Ut 207-21
When answering these advertisements.
1lfanre mention this uaDer
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

rice 25 cents per bOEtLes
Sold by druggists
.Es LOUIS. no
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Wat FIBEnIE VEGETABLE DOG CAKES
with Beet Root Order FROM you Grocer or Sporting
Goods Dealer, or apply direct to spragts Patent
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

The original Photograph,
panel size, OF this picture
sent on receipt OF HOG In
stamps Address.
BILE BEANS
st. Louis MO-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1887-07-09

Health to Your Dogs
and saving 70 your pocket are both secured By zins
.SPRATTS PATENT