davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
4 Dem 5nStrativc Waiter.

II is a pretty hard world. anyway, for
people OF refinement 1t is no use try
ing 10 be elegant and high-toned and
dign;t;ci Something is always striking
against YOU ana convincing YOU that life
j. tough They were talking of restau-
rants. and menus, and dishes with ey-
tranrdinary names that don't mean much
AMI revcliug in gourmet jargOn. There
was "A well known gentleman of wealth.
position and taste present. and several
lesser lights. gls-lights cmuiating by the
ai Of rcfectIrS the hrilliancy of the
electric - 10 speak. There was "A fellow
there who was not gourmet, couldn't af-
ford il. ami vague idea of revenge enter
el into his head.
Il YOU want 4 good d;nner-not an
elegant dinner. perhaps because they
don't 80 much ON French dishes there
If You want good steak, tit for "A king,
and n waiter who Will make you perfect
ly comfortable. go to-'s."
''-'s." said the gentleman of wealth
and fashion Where ISIS"
You easily find it. It's little out
of the way. but if YOU want cooking and
proper attendance 20 there.
skip few DAYS The gentleman of
wealth and position recalled this bit of
advice and betook himself to -s. 1t
was dingy. but clela, and he sat down
and ordered from somewhat rough
looking hut lively waiter porterhousc
steak 1t cam 1t was about a> thick
as pancake aad beautifully Streaked
with the A>>yrian stripes OF 4 dirty grid
iron
Look here. water. What do you
call th.>."
Il calls it port2rhouSe ste lk-and'
portcrhou~c steak il iS-an' you jiSt cat il,
or blow m il don't wear it out on
you. SIN FraHcjS-1 GHroRicle.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

You see, the way of it was this, he
was explaining to a patrolman on Baker
street yesterday: II was in the grocery
alone and two men came in They
warmed their hands at the stove, and
one of them suddenly began snutfing and
smiling and then called out:
Say mister, your kerosene is leak
ing all over the CELLAR
That ratified me. and grabbed a
couple Of matches and ran down stairs
| was down there couple of minutes
before | remembered.
Remembered what?"
That nv Kerosene was upstairs at
the back end of the store, | hurried up
is quick aS | coud but it was too late"
They had robbed the till and gone,
of course
"Oh. no They had gone around the
counter and my big dog corralled one
in the rotato-bin and the other between
two molasses barrels, and was biting
them ut the rate of forty bites minute"
Then how was it too later
"Whv. when | called the dog off and
looked the fellows over | hadn't the
heart to kick EN- across the street. |
just led EN- to the door and gave EN- one
lift apiece and asked 'em to call again. l
wish wasn't SO chickenhearted about
such things Il really do."-DetrOit Fre6
Press
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

Up to the time CHI ii can talk and say
funny thing, shc-it i generally pmtjcu-
larry 81 with female ch ldrca->he is her
mothers pet. Then she is tax II posses
sion of by the mlle parent \ little
while at,cr she is bora the n2w-n .Ie
parent Hikes the novelty q. dWjt NJ her
hut that does not | Il long. Then for II
while she i Il nuisance II the father. but
when She hc-jl~ h get cute alI cun-
ming when acr mother a with infinite
care and alt q on developed her intantlc
brain, the l,ttcr step, il and begins To
monopoiiIc the credit. II isn't fair
Bat the IN ther always les HIM. and
contents hers If with lavishi0g affection
on her and attending to the dctlil>-the
unintcrcSting delailS-of keeping her
clean. Since this column admitted clever
children fond parents come to me and
tell me of their prccoCiouS progeny. 1t :
an excellent thing. especially in mothers;
but notice titHt when lady tell me Il
story of her |. by. She says 'o'L' baby,
but when a father talks he always begins
about my little girl, and generally says
II have Il little daughter. | never met
a child yet whose best ideas were not
derived from the mother. | have heard
of children who had been pcttcl by their
fathers. but they generally talked slang,
which their fathers thoa~ht awfuily
brIght.-.SM N FraH-iNco ChroHiriS.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

The crowd was tt....nT on the subject
of travelling on passes, cheap rates, etc.
We'll. remarked Maj. Stofah. when
there came a lull. Il went from Wash
ington clear 10 San Francisco once for
nothin-.
"Th, walking must have been good
that v'ar" sugg '>tcI Roberts.
Il rode all tn1 way in Il Pullman,
said the major, With Il smile.
'Di you have pass: asked Cham
bcrS.
No pass.
You knew all the conductors per-
haps sid Leacilman.
'D:dr't kAow a soul, replied the
major, Fighting an O. p. cigar.
Then how in thunder did you make
it?" asked knott who was anxious to
get Il low rate west.
Easiest thing in the world, respond
ed the mi ior, caolly. Il had a sweet
heart il Frisco. and went out to marry
her When got there. | found she had
already married another fellow, and if
you don't call that going to San Fran
cisco for nothing. You may have this Sl5
suit I've got ON, for 10 cents. half cash
and the balance al ninety days. - Wash
ing'oa Crttjr.
Yes. sr sad Jona;. women are
awfullv curious. Whcn did You make
the d scpvrry? inquired Brown. 20,
I've always held chat opinion" was the
reply. but have now demonstrated the
fact, How Su?" Why. YOU see,
Thompson knows all about that Smith
scandal. and | wanted him to tell me
about it. He wouldn't though | offered
him a 81 bill When told my wife
about it she almost cried. and wanted tC
know why didn't offer so. ."-I'utsbur!
DiSpdtch.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

the Professor got ont of temper with it
again; dashed off with it. tore it i'll
pieces and flung the bits about smashed
and pulveriscd them, and then brought
up suddenly. When. lo the same Old
tune came up smiling and indestructible
once more.
The next on the programme was Herr
Puffenschlagcr in piano recital. He
threw himself into variety of curious
AMI impressive attitudes. He dashed his
long hair from his brow, his whole frame
expanded. and his face assumed the eX
preston of an inspired archangel-at
least. that is how overheard a young
lady sitting near me describe it. The
Herr galloped up and down the keyboard
till he looked all fingers and hair-now
tickling the treble with one hand while
he rumbled thunderous aecompani-
ment on the bass with the other-now
rattling away with both hands on the
! higher keys, detaching his left at inter-
walls in flying leap to pound viciously
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
IA Unf,rtunate Arnheim.

A young MA with au EXPIRE ssion Of
confidence on his face entered Michi-
gan avenue clothing store yesterday and
asked
Il am straight business. l want a
suit of clothes. There are seven of us
who will buy our clothes at the same
place. have been sent on ahead to get
prices"
''Humph"'
If bring the other six here to buy
what will you make this $50 suit for?'
The clothier went over and sat down
by the stove with a disgusted look on his
face.
You didn't answer my question"
"My frendt, please go oudt. You make
me VERY tircdT'
Whats the matter with you? Don't
you want me to bring the party here?'
No, my frendt, don't. All my sales
to-day goes to an orphan asylum, and
like to keep EN- down to a summer coat
and a pair of secondhand pants! Better
try der man two door below. ."-Detr0sI
Free Press
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

\ Young lads whose name did not
;rau~pirr fa> the reporter, sax appear.
,l uunot5,ri from Suucw here. ~ play
'he accompaniment The Professor aud
the accom- PIANIST having gone through
fhr usual prtl minars lw sa-ius 20 get the
Instruments iuta harmony, there Wa a
PAUSE, and iGc piaao rrnS "a short start:
N bile the great yinlIn.~f -tpo1. IN "a neg
81 gent atl tudr clsgjng as u~ through his
>Isciaci,~ Thea. suddenly realislug
that hr was being lrit hnpgIg~~ly behind,
he brought ht- instrument into position.
aud with graceful wave of his bow
dashed after the pauo, and caught II Vi,
amid hrraihlcs, excitement. after "A sharp
hurst \ brrak meek race follow ed
which seemed likely to end in Violin
first. aud the rr>t nowh. n | do not
pretend to know ANYTHING about the
tcchniCalljics uf the piece. but there
seemed 10 hc kind Of tune lurking
somew here in Il. and after stalking this
wArily through long and fHts passage
the Professor saw his opportunity.
pounCrd on thr tune with sudden fury.
banged it about. turned il inside out and
upside down. >Crapcd and >caTilcd il till
II ~ccmcd a. if il could never be quite
the same tune again. Bat presently il
reappcarcd n II nothing had happened.
and went ambling smoothly along till
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

VIVA, are yon dong, Ethel?' asked
the mother of a l-ycar-old girl who had
stuck a pin through piece Of paper and
was pol>ing it through the crcviceS of
the register under the parlor mantel-
piece. Tin goin' to put this in here so
when Santl Claus comes down the Chin
ney he'll step on the pin ana holler, and
then I'll wake up and see him. glee-
fully replied the cute youngstcr.-N z.
.IOHrnaL
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

Mr.. Tubal Quain was in great force
here. there, and everywhere, Though
himself an excellent pianist he took no
part in the performance leaving the exc
cutlve hunors Ia the GALAXY OF friendly
talent which had gathered to support
him.
The tall portly gentleman who has
jaSt given him two fingers To shake is
Mr.. Bompas. the well known musical
critic of the ''Posthoru." 1t WAS edify-
ing to see how cvcl til, great Nr, Quain
cringed before his Olynlian presence.
"On the whole. enjoyed myself very
well
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

1t is estimated that the whole number
of umbrellas made in the United States
annually is 100000. The whole num-
Der borrowed is supposed to be little
less than s, 1000, ,O00
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07

A four-year-old miss of Main street,
with serious air said to her mpther the
other day Ma. think | ought to get
Il spanking" Mamma made an effort to
look her sharply in the eye when the
little one c@,dded: Il guess you needn't
mind this time | won't be naughty
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
Ic.ore XI]]I..-. GO.
PUHIsIIM.Nr SUSPENDED.

Dupe" f!nce. of ! I,a. Who Are Just
Lif ing Fif"': Eurtain.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
WANTED FULL CREDIT.

\ benevolent young lady, who had
for a long time sought to convey GONE
lasting moral lessons to young boys at
the North End who had been gathered
into her class. while conversing with
one of the youngsters recently, referred
To the death of his brother. when he
spoke up in tone expressive of pride
and qualification: ''Oh, that amt all
the dead got: had mother brother die
awhile ago '-B1xton Journal.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
RDBBY APPLIES \ TESi

Robby. aged three, complained that
his tea the regulation milk -and-water
article. was not to his taste. His moth
er. beside whom he was seated. said:
"Why, Robby my tea is very good.
Suppose we change teas suggested
Rohby - Bf5yL101
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
HOW MUCH OUT OF THE WAY.

1t was at dinnertable. His father
was saying something to his mother
about dynamite oh" exclaimed Jack.
looking across to Eloise with an evident
desire to impress her with his acquire
ments, Il know what dynamite is
What is it:'' inquired Eloisc 1T is
something that you bsphcme rocks
with" Jack explained. -Ptitadetphia
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1887-01-07
4 HITCH IN THE PROGRAMME.

Teacher, what time is it, please?'-
ItH FraHcixr0 CHr0Hici6
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11
BOSTON VIEWS.
BOSTON. AuO. . 81.

DOSiONs mug. -, %.
Our mackerel fisheries are vet I'm
productive. Most of the feet are IL
North Bay and on the coast of Prince
Edward island. Mackerel are very
high and must remain so, unlesa a
large and unexpected catch takes
place.
Weather very hot, and every class
of wellto-do people idle, at seashore
or mountains. Alaska is attracting
a good many TO witness and admire
its wonderful scenery aud enjoyable
climate. In the opinion of many, Is
leads the world in the grandeur of its
scenery, with its wide extent. Sixly.
two millions of people, soon TO reach
one hundred million. with their vast
wealth, will affect the area beyond
the Rocky mountains by the building
OF elegant cities and superior facili-
ties Of travel. You have q rare spot
OF wide earth, rich in agricultural and
mineral capacities and water power.
with wide Pacific sea that gives yon
a front TO Japan and populous isl
ands, an element OF growth and
wealth.
The prediction ia made that, fifty
years hence, the transit between the
Atlantic and Pacific will develop and
sustain profitably twenty lines OF rail
road. W.. =.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

'VoLAPUK," the universal language
is prospering. Won Moltke lately ex-
pressed his belief that it has a great
future before it; and it has been
learned and is being studied by an
enormous number of persons on the
continent. Last winter more than
1000 pupils received instruction in
the language in Vienna alone. 1t is
claimed that Volapuk is SO simple
that it can be learned in ten lessons:
and a week ago at a public examina-
ton held in Vienna several pupils
who had received only nine lessons,
showed remarkable proficiency in
professor Schleier's new language.
Volapuk enjoys the very enviable dis
tinction of being the only tongue on
earth in which the rules have no ex-
ceptions. There is now published at
Vienna "Volapukagased" which
claims to have a large circulation
among the initiate.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

The arrivals of immigrants at the
half-dozen chief ports of the country,
which always receive about 90 per
cent of the whole number, foot up
483, ll6 for the fiscal year ending June
30, 1887, against only 328,895 for the
fiscal year ending with June, 1886.
The most striking feature of the
table is the great increase in
the number from Italy (47,524
against 21 ,503), and from Russia, Fin
land and Poland combined (36,SS7
against 21,706(. Germany continues
largely to surpass Ireland in the size
of its contribution, sending 106,559
people to the United States last year.
against only 68, ,130 from Ireland.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

GENERAL SPINNER, formerly treas
urer of the United States, whose Gu
rious signature on the 'greenbacks''
was once so familiar, is reported to
be enjoying tent life at Pueblo beach,
Florida He is eighty years of age
but as genial and hearty as ever.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

MEMPHIS is taking her boodlers by
the throat. The grand jury has found
indictments against three more city
officials for stealing S120,000. The
way of the boodler is getting to be a
hard one.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

AMERICAN tourists who have re-
Gently returned from Europe affirm
that it is almost impossible to throw
away discarded orange peel on Re
gent street or the Strand without hit
ing an American presidential candi-
dofo
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

THE south is beginning to agitate
its claims for a place on the next
national ticket of the Democratic
presidency. Georgia is putting for
ward governor Gordon for the vice
presidency, and Virginia is urging the
claims of governor Lee.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

EXPRESS trains on the Pennsylvania
railroad accomplish runs of consider
able distances every day in the week
at the rate of nearly seventy miles an
hour.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

The monument to general Grant at
Mansfield, VT, consisting of a pile OF
stones to which every visitor is re-
quested to add one, is growing large
and tall.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

JNo. SwINToN's paper is dead, and
the great labor reformer is out the
S25,0O0 he put into the work. Many
a newspaper supports cause, but no
cause ever yet supported newspaper.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

THE Weekly Thunderbon is the
name of the newest idiocy in the San
Francisco newspaper field. Its aim
and object is to put its editor and
owner in the governors chair, mis-
fortune to our sister state which will.
happily, be spared that common
wealth
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11
ASTORIA, OREGON:

THE cost OF milling -four has been
reduced at Minneapolis from S6.35 In
1878 to sIS9 in 1885, and at the pres
emf time the cost is still lower.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

The manufactured products of the
south had increased from 1915, ,924, ,794
in 1880 to s529, $4,000 in 1887, a gain
of 100000 in seven years.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

EMPEROR WILLIAM has written to
the Pope saying that it would be a
grand thing if they were able in their
old age to establish peace between
Prussia and the Vatican.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

THE directors of the Minneapolis
exposition will ask Mr.. Gladstone to
open the affair by pressing an electric
button at London if the cable COM
panies report the thing to be feasible.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

NEARLY half the salt product of the
entire United States is credited to
Michigan, whose supply is derived
mainly from artesian borings.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

The cavalry saddle used in the
United States army is pronounced by
the military men of Europe to be the
most bungling and cumbersome ap-
pliance in use.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

EXPERT girls making the first quail
ity of mems linen collars can, in the
Troy factories, for instance, earn from
sos to S35 per week.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11
Take Ii In Time.

A man who presents an appearance
Of debility, whose countenance is anx-
ious and who is subject to spells OF
faintness, is liable to sndden death
from heart disease. Let him take DIR.
FLTNT's HEART REMEDY before it is
too late. AT druggists. 81. 80. De-
scriptive treatise with each bottle; or
address j. j. Mack & Co., s. F.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11
Boats Repaired.

A NY ONE WANTING FISHING BOATS
N or other Boats Repaired can get good
work done al X. M. Leaihers' boat shop.
over Arndt 6 Ferchen's foot OF lafayette
street,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11
NEW TO-DAY.
Fisheries,

The undersigned are preparing twin;. for
purse and hauling SeineS, and pounds 10 he
sci IN strong currents. that makes a saving
al one-third the bulk of ordinary netting.
and no reduction in strength. This
netting enables the fisherman 10 reduce his
labor list and increase his net profit. We
are giving especial attention TO the Pacific
Fisheries and beg 10 assure the fishermen
that we shall try very hard, under the rules
OF an honorable commerce. to please Them
with our wares
GLOUCESTER NET & TWINE co.
Gloucester, Mass.
Boston 0flice. % Commercial 81.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1887-08-11

Oysters I'm Every Style
Al The Central Restaurant. next I,
FOard & Stokes.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13
Prospecting the Route.

H. NJ. Yenngton and D. A. Bender were
passengers on last Thursdays train, bound
for the terminus Of the c. & c. road. Their
object being to make a trip over the ground
where it is proposed to have the c. Il c.
run TO connect with Los Angeles. Mr.. Yer
ington says that the Owens River Vale,
country can produce everything in The SHAPE
Of fruits, vegetables, gram, etc; IN vas
quantities, but that the farmers have very
limited market. The building Of this new
piece of road will open up considerable new
country, and thereby make better markeI
for country produce. 1t will also bring in
to Owens River Valley and the country ad
jacent more immigration, which if it is the
right kind will be of advantage to the State
In all probability this new road will be-
completed some time this next Winter, and
this will give Nevada a direct line almost
from its northern to its southern boundary
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13

Hon. JOHN B. GALLAGHER, Of Lyon
County, has made a move in the right direc
ton, and one which is calculated to be Of
great benefit to our country. The great
value of his enterprise is made more appar-
ent by the low Stage OF water at present in
the Walker river.
Mr.. Gallagher has located the Twin
Lakes of Mono county, CAL, and proposes to
convert them into great reservoirs for III
storage Of the surplus wafer of the Winter,
and by succession Of bitches to systematic
ally distribute the same throughout Mason
Valley in the latter part of the season.
Such store Of water to draw upon al the
present time, would be worth thousands OF
dollars to our farmers this fall, and be o.
great benefit 10 our stock interests as we'll
the present scarcity Of water will surely
make forage for stock scarce and all klnus
Of feed high. These lakes are situate
about Is miles from Mason Valley and con
sequently the construction Of the neces,ar,
dams, fumes and bitches, is an undertake
ing of no small proportions. But the well
known energy and ability Of the protector l.
sufficient guarantee for It's successful accom-
pllshment
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13
Ball Game.

The base ball game played in Hawthorne
last Saturday between the Amateurs of Car
son, and the Chloriders of Candelaria, was
closely contested. The Carson boys are
light werghts, and the sandy soil of Haw-
ihorne placed them at considerable disad
vantage. There is nothing like playing on
ones own grounds, and the chances are, ha'
the Chloriders come to Carson, they won
have been beaten; for the Carson boys ar
supe rior players with one or two exception,
to the Chloriders. The score was 8 TOT in
favor of the Hoosiers, and it shows thai
very good playing was done on both sides.
This game was probably the best one ever
PLAYED in the State, and will compare favor
ably with the games played by the profcs-
sional league mines in the East.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13

Don't forget to call at the old Lager Beer Depo
when you come to Dayton.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13
UNIONS.

TN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE STATE
of Nevads Lyon county.
Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1887-08-13

J. B. GALLAGHER. /
Plaintiff I
E. L, DRAPPO
Defendant