The Irish standard., 1887-04-30
OLD PORTSMOUTH.
an Aged Negro Who Knew How to 7
and How to Infiict Punishment.

WIZ ~ Iovv N<1A IS
an Aged Negro Who Knew How to Take
and How to Infiict Punishment.
swell, Pottsworth,' said the Governor,
addressing an old negro whom he met in
the State house yard. where the Arfd'asaac
Trayeler huuorlst was enjoying siesta at
the time, 81 heard a pretty bad report
| about you the other day"
s.Whut's de folks been sayin' erbout me,
Mars Simon: Pears like da amt neber
gwine ter let de old man erlone."
Il heard that you whipped your wife
several nights ago"
s'Say yer did heah dats'
."Yes.''
Swell, sab, reckon it's de trufea"
''You ought to be ashamed Of such an
outrage"
"Hole, hole ON, let US argy bout dat,
Mars Simon EVERYBODY OATS erquainted
, wild me knows dat Use er peaceable pusson.
It's knowd all ober de immunity dat FL
STAN ter be trod on er good many times
'fo' I'll show mer bristles. Folks has trod
on me, sab, white and black has trod on
me, an den seed me git up s1nilin' like er
Chrlstun; am, SUM- de thing got ter be so
pop'ler dat mer own wife-de wife o. dis
heah bosom Striking his breast) thought
dat she couidn' long ter good s'ciety lessen
she tried her ham. Wall, sab, she tried it,
an fur or laung time, didn' pay no erten.
ton ter her but arter while I 'gunter feel
sorter 'noyed. Hit me wild err wash-Eo'd
luther day-split de bod, an it cost er
quarter an it hurt me, sub, it did, but
lowed ter merse'f dat / better not pay no
tention ter her. Shortly arter dat I come
home one day sorter libely. I WANT
drunk, Mars Simon, sw:ar ter de good
ness l want, but somehow she didn't look
at it in dat light. Wimin is cuts dat way.
Doan know Whuther yer hab noticed it err
not, but it is er facK. Whit yer reckon
dat lady done, Marse Simon?"
s'Gave you forcible piece Of her mind,
Isuppose.''
sHuh. eFdat had been all wouldn't er
paid nc 'tention ter hit. Tell yer whit she
done. She waited till got ter sleep, den
tied me hard am fas' i'll de bed. Bout de
time she got me tied good 1 woke up.
Look yere: Flavy, whit yer doin2' 'Doan
'sturb yerse'f by tryin' ter talk vile yer's
80 sick, fur Use erfeered dat it mout hurt
yer,' she piled. She went ter er bar'l dat
set in de cornder, tuck out de carpet rags
an de scttin' hen, fixed de hen on her aigs
N ernuder cornder, an den Is inter tar
lie bal'l to pieces. sWhut yer 'stroyin' dat
fine piece er property fur, Flavy?' says T.
She didn' answer 1n: er tall, but talzin' mp
one o. de slaves, she cum up ter de bed.
ladys plans Doan yer hit me wild dat
stave, fur eff yer do, darts gwine to be
some wool scat tered roull' desc yere prem
ises.' Bout dat TIME ti1er bin1' she took
NE wild dat stave, an de- I4aw'd er massy,
thought I yYlz gwine tel burn up right
dar in mer own bed, dat eos INC er TWO
dollars am er ha'f. Want no use to rare
and scotch, so I thought I'll try 'suasion-
en- da do say dat Use er fust-rats ham at
do mourner's bench. 60, dear sister
Flavy,' Iyeiled, thinkin' dat I'd hit her on
lie stranth q de church, 'let dis cup pass
lzer-whaclz! oh, Sister Flavy. turn yer
bright mine on de day o de penticos'.' {"
s'Did that cause her to desists" the Coy
arnor asked.
Come ergin.''
did she stop?"
s'Wall, sab, I kahn say dat she did till
she'd dun wore me hodatiously out. On,
thought was gwine ter melt right dar
an run out On Gle flo, but didn'. She got
through finally an went away on CT visit
ter some O. de neighbors, leabin' de door
open. + gunter thank de Lawd dat wuz
by mersc'f onct mo- when all at onctI
heard suthin. Lookin' up de bes' could,
L S6Cu GuiSG SlCCp, UWO U1S 1dILo et4 Cl OAC
20, comm in.
"sGood sheep said I, mas yer come ter
pity er po' mans' Barr sa's one o. Gle
thing I know'd de uder one tuck me 'ker-
BIN, bin.' Oh, how hollered .rll make
yer pay fur dis, yer trihln' scoun,uls,' I
hollered. 'Ketch yer out on de common
an maui YER 'Ker-bip' er ole ram tuck
me ergin. Dat time he knocked all mer
senses GU en- me, an doan know how
laung da bumped me, fur de naixt thing
recollecks wuz lynn dar wild de rope off [
didn't say nuthin an Flavy neber let on,
but WIZ lorgin' ter git we'll ernuf ter
han'le de lady. Day afore yesterday, while
[ wuz gwine erlaung home, I found or
hoop-pole. took 1t erlanng, sorter smllln'
to nlerse'f. Flavy wuz out in de yard, an
knowin' dat I could outrun her, didn't
feel erfeerd.
"'Whut yer doiu,' Flavya' says j, walk,
I'M out ter whur she wuz.
6" Countin' de young Chickens says she
"'How is yer feelin' dis ebenings'
"'Well, gins yer thanks
s''Honey,' says I, de doctor tells me dat
Yer's gettin' too fat am dat yer oughter
take mo- exercise like de white ladies, an
I 'cluded dat I'd hep yer take it,
"'Oh, yer's er good man, Potts. says
she, am I'se alulos' sorry dat whipped
yer de uder day
s'sIs yer, honeya''
"'Deed is
's'Sho' 'nuff!'
"sDidn't tell yer deed is9'
"'Oh, yer 'courages me so much,' says
T. Honey, Fse dun fotch de thing datp
gin yer de exerclse.'
ssYer doan' tell me!'
81 does fur er fack.'
eden l stepped ter de cornder o. de
house whar had lef' de hoop-pole.
"sW'y, dat's Ell funny thing ter exercise
Wild
'''Yas,' says l. an ker-whop I wrapped it
all er roun' her. She made at me, but huh,
dat lady wuz too fat ter ketch me. Ebery
time she'd try ter git outen de yard I'd.
fetch her er wallop, an yer oughter heerd
dat lady yell. Now yer knows all erbout
it, Mars Simon; am lemme tell yer, de
lady, sense tal1in' dat dose er medicine IS
settled down inter er right 'spectable
oman Good-day. 'Bleeged ter yur fer
yer kline an'p'lite 'tention, sah."
III in