Omaha daily bee., 1887-11-27
THE OMAHA FOOTpAD.

The conclusive proof of Omahas greatness
is the presence of fnc footpad. This creature
of nocturnal habits and free lunch is never
where there is nothing to steal. He is tho
breaking out on the body polite that shows
at1lucnce and high living. AS soon as respect
able people in Chicago and New York began
to disguise as boodlors and do wholesale
thievery, the footpad saw the cnormity
of villany would befoul all kinds of robbing,
and he came west. As long as those cities
played the legitimate, they were the paradise
of Sandbaggcrs. From the shadows of
slumbering policemen they leaped upon the
"tippcd' walters and tipsy aldermen and
gobbCd fortunes in Il night. There was a
kind of a book beer bravery in leapng upon
the COrSctted dude from the cavernOus dark
ness. 1t took sand, a bag of it, TO tackle the
rcd-cycd night editor and the bclatcd minister
Not because of dangerous resistance, but the
awful risk of getting anything. Compare
such a heroic occupation with that of the
sncaking boodlcr leaping into the overflow of
the city treasury in broad daylight and
Dlindfolding the guardians of public trust
with grcenbacks.
The footpad came to Omaha because here
the policemen are not paid to do their duty.
Knowing the loose way even paid police duty
was done, he fell safe in the Omaha plan.
There may be glory enough in the glitter of
brass buttons and the undersidc of Il saloon
racket to keep policeman con stantly on top;
might possibly lure him to stand the iackass
kick of the north wind, and patrol the peril
Gus sidewalks of the city without pay. But
the undersigned is not betting that way The
footpad is not putting up-hands on that the
Dry.
After night people on the street are not as
courteous as of old. When two men meet in
the shadow of building, they glare at each
other, their canes rise like the belligercnt
tails of two CANNES, and they pass with
suspicious silence that is more omiGous than
a groWl.
The other night Smith and Jones met in
one of those great gaps of gloom. smith
nervously raised his cane a little. Jones saw
the rising glimmer of the paste diamond
ring and lifted his cane in readiness Smith
saw him one better. Jones dittoed, their
eyes glarcd, coat tails swclled, their canes de-
scended simultaneously and they wollopcd
each other like spring carpet beating be-
fore they discovered they were members of
the same church.
Aside from the dangerous character OF the
sidewalks there is nothing to mar the felicity
Oh lllt IODlldu save Vic 'hh a.
ter of the victims. The pad goes through
a nights 'holdups" and gets less Of posi-
blc) than the steward at the church colcc-
ton. Indeed, pad wiser or lazicr than his
pals, let one of the city churches collect it
by day and he stole the contribution box at
night.
Once in a great while pad will get so hard
up that he will even endure the discomforts
of our street car service for the sake Of rob
bing the cash box al the end of the ride. But
the other night pad took the Cunning street
car and was so worn out standing up, and
crippled by being stepped on, when he went
for the cash box the driver knocked him over
with cud of tobacco found ON the floor OF
the car and delivered him to the police. 1T
is nA true that the street car company
docked the drivers wages for fooiing away
time on the comfort of a passenger IN sccur-
ing the footpad in IA seat.
Some of the reported robbercs are not
chargeable TO the footpad. The victims nave
held up their "hands" before starting home
and stakcd too much on bob-tail flush,
The husband leaves his wife to corral tho
children and put new plank in the platform
of his pantalOons. He has important diplo-
matte business down town. He digrcsses
into painting the town an anarchistic red.
HA'ounds up underline nom de plume oftho
Wild Color Mixer from Kalamazoo, At
a. m. the policeman fishes him out of the gut
ter. He has been sandbagged and left un-
conscious-in the papers. Frequently he
| has only been slugged in the neck with
| beer bottle held with malice aforcthougnt N
| his own hand.
Many persons with catarrhal breath have
whisperngly askcd me what to do whch or
| dered up by footpad | do not clam 700
| great familiarity with the business, but my
| advice Isl
If you are an average Omaha citizen wlth
| every cent safely locked up in real estate
! throw up your hands. Don't worry
about the etiquette OF the occh-
| sion. The footpad will show you
| how TO hold your hands up. The only trouble
| will he holding yourself up; but the iootpad
| kindly helps the nggng at the knees and
| collapse Of the vcrtcbra and relieves you OF
| all embarra ssnent and your yaluables.
| ;. - ...'. LU Is. CAkx. .