The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-05-18
HUMOR.

The man without enemies may not
be much of man, but he has soft
time of it.
THE small boy learning the alphabet
is very much like the postage-stamp--
he often gets stuck on letter.
IT is a question whether it is better
to be foolish than wise. The fool Is
merely laughed at; the wise man is
criticised. -BOston Courier.
"WHY is small boy like woman?"
said New Hartford man to his trou-
blesome wife. There was no response.
because he will make man grown"
said the conundrumist.
MORE than 5000, 900 umbrellas were
manufactured in this country last year.
We don't ask what has become OF this
vast number, but we would like to know
where three of them went to.-ET-
change
The man who was born with silver
spoon in his mouth is now looking
about for something to eat with the
spoon.-LoloeH Citizen. Let him try
New England doughnut. If he swal-
lows that first the spoon will go down
more easily.
OMAHA chambermaid-" Wait, Mary,
it isn't time to lock up the house yet.
Miss EthePs young man is in the par
lor." Omaha kitchen-girl-"He's gone,
Sarah" "Did you hear the front door
shut?" "No, but the parlor gas is
turned up again. "-Omaha World.
THERE was missionary concert at
oh, ~ hnr
things was long paper on missionary
work by IA young lady. When she had
finished, the leader of the meeting said,
"We will now sing Hallelujah, It's
done.'" Whereat every body smiled.
Il CAN say one thing in favor of this
good boy" remarked Mr.. Birchem,
proudly patting his favorite pupil on
the summit of his Uranium: "He never
takes the last piece of bread and butter
on the plate" "No, indeed, sir, cor
daily asserted the fool of the school.
"He amt quick enough!"
CoAL-DEALER-Wh John? Dri-
ver-He sta;d up to Mr.. Browns.
Coal-dealer-Why on earth did he do
that? Doesn't he know we're short
handed? Driver-I suppose he does,
his load, and he had an idea he be-
longed to Mr.. Brown.-Harper'S Ba-
ear.
FATHER (to family physician)-"Isn't
George Sampson relative of yours,
Doctor?" Family physician-"Yes, he
is a nephew" Father-"He wants. my
daughter Clara, but / gave him to I'M
derstand that she wouldn't get any of
my money until after my death"
Family physician-"That was right.
George was asking about your health
to-day. "-Harptr's BGzdr.
THERE was an old man lived up in
the mountains for many years. The
village people close by all knew him,
as they thought, intimately. One day
he came into the village looking very
sad. They asked him what was the
matter. WAL" he said, Il do feel
kinder sad" What has happened?"
"Pve been to funeral" "A funerall
Whose was it? Some relative?" "Waal,
you might call it So 1t was she that
were my wife" And that was the first
they knew that he had ever been mar
ried. San Fran, isco Chronicle.
OMAHA man-"So you belong to the
noted Sorosis Society,"" New York
MISSILES, was one of the original
members" Let me see It's twenty
years now since that society was start
ed" Dear me, so it Is; but you
must not forget that the original mem
bers were infants when it began"
"Infants Really, 1 have an idea it
was an independent movement of some
Sort" 40, it was. You see, its forma-
ton was the result of a rebellion on
the part of the girl babies who didn't
want to be weaned. Omaha World.