The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1887-01-13
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, JANUARY Is, 1887.
WIT AND HUMOR,

INV LuC JlltsL W liz lCu illilI.F AsO-
venge is sweet.-AeW HaUen NeOs.
a Haverhill paper talks about its first
families In shoe town one would ex-
pect to hear abou. the last families in
stead. -Lo0eI Citizen.
The rockers on chair never stick
out half SO far behind at any other time
as when man is proving around n
the dark barefooicd. Breeze.
In Vienna actresses are not allowed
to receive bouquets on the stage. This
saves them quite sum Of money in
the course of year.-Nea0 HaUen Aet0s.
There are some great composers that
are deserving of their name. Their
works can compose all audience TO
sleep with the utmost ease.-BostoH
Posi-.
A railroad porter knocked man
down the other. day and the latter sues
for $50. 900. Ii he wins he will take all
the porters profits for an entire trip
Near Hare. NeaC5.
She Cooking over bill of fare) Am |
TO have carte blanche. Charley? Char
ley-Why, yes; take some carte blanche
if you want it, but l prefer something
SOIlu.-N. I. Gun.
Passenger-That's all the money |
| have. Conductor examining a trade
dollar)-I can't take that piece. Pas
senger-Ah, well, give 1t to the COM
pany then.-1td-B Bits.
1t is said that a Michigan woman
wears the same bonnet that she wore
thirty-tive years ago. She is the wife of
I flT a nd aJifzp ,irrb
at first be supposed.-AeI0 HdUeH NeUs.
I'm afraid it's not genuine" said
lady to a shopman. 20, yes, it is,
madame" replied the polite gentleman.
''All our camei's-hair shawls are made
of pure silk, direct from the worm
| ~ !. San.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox says in a recent
poem: mine eyes are quick to catch
the first dim radiance OF the dawn"
! This seems to indicate that Mr. Wilcox
won't kindle the fire in the morning I'M
less he is spoken to.-Hatchet.
Does your husband believe in Soc
iahsm, Mrs. Grab?" asked Mrs. Tattle.
No; should say he didn't. Why. if
you'll believe me. | can hardly get him
to come into the parlor when any of the
neighbors call. ''-Ne,O H0Uen NeWS.
A Florida hotel proudly announces
that il has ''bevy of beauties from the
North as writer's. The place at which
the hotel is located bears the euphon-
| ious name, 1t may be stated in this
| connection, OF klssimmee. Rochester
| Democrat.
MIR. Black, I've called to see why
you haven't taken any notice of my re-
| peated dunS?" Silence is golden
you know. Mr.. White" We'll, now,
it seems to me burned sight more
like brass. Itwon't pay any bills. -
| fhj!adeLphia call.
Brown (to Robinson. whose mother
in-law has recently died)-'I was sorry
to hear, Robinson, that you and your
wife have recently sustained a heavy
loss" Robinson with feeling)-"Yes,
the old lady must have weighed over
POO pounds. "..LJe.
They were in West Chapel street
car. Where have you been, dear?"
20. I've been shopping all day long"
so have |. What did you get?" 20,
didn't get anything, did you?n mo,
| but priced almost everything | saw"
-AtO EGCGH NetGS.
Photographer (to sitter)-That gen.
tleman who preceded you is the most
| remarkable man | ever saw. Sitter
| In what way? Photographer-He
| didn't tell me that he would rather have
| a tooth pulled than have his picture
taken.-A. T. san.
Shoe-dealer Oo partner)-That new
lot of French slippers is going very
slowly. Hadn't we better mark em
down? Partner-Yes; mark the fives
| down to threes, and the tours TO twos
| This change was made. and in a day
or two the stock was exhausted. Puck.
20, hang it, man?n exclaimed Jones.
iii never pay that bill! Why, that's
| highway robbery Sir that's an in
sult!' 20. yes, | see; l thank YOU for
reminding me of it. If there were any
| highway robbers here | would certain
ly beg their pardon. ifttsburg Dis
| patch
A scientist says that woman who
weighs 100 pounds here would weigh
200 pounds if on the surface of the
sun. But not one woman in a thou
sand will start on a journey to the sun
| IN order 10 increase her weight. Now,
/ II 1t were the moon it would be differ
emit There is man in that Dor
N03viStOlOl Herald.
A Hingman lady, having complained
of being unable to tell her mince pies
from her apple pies without testing,
was advised 10 mark them. She did
| so. and complacently announced: This
I've marked T. NJ. Ills Mince, and
that I've marked T. M'-Taln't
Mince. "-HiRgDlgH Journal
The girls at Poughkeepste draw each
other into corner and mysterouslv in
quire: do you know why Prof. Blank
wears plug hat?" No; WHY is it?''
10 cover his head, of course Then
they te-he-he and no! ho. no! and write
home TO ma that they passed SO per
cent in Hoyle. -Detroit Free Press.
20. GEORGE" she exclaimed, catching
her breath as she gazed out to sea,
there seems to be no limit to old Nep-
tunes broad expanse; and the waves.
George, how playfully they gambol
along the shore' THE waves are
very foolish, dear" said George with a
sign. How foolish?" TO gamble
where there is no limit"-LJe.
The family had Just returned from
listening to this handsome young En-
glishman, who is just thrilling America
with his lectures on "Palmistrv," and
they were discussing the subject with
great enthusiasm. "Ah me- sighed
Billy the kid, moving uneasily in his
chair. talk about palmistry; he should
have known you, mamma. n-Burdette.
The Chicago Anarchists have adopt
ed new line of defense IN case they
get new trial They will claim that
no bomb was thrown at all; that it was
only woman who ran through the
crowd with an umbrella in one hand
and market-basket in the other The
only weak point in this defense is that
the carnage was too slight. -Burdette.
Scene at Harvard College: Junior
Oranslating the New TestamenO-