Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1887-02-17
HERE AND THERE.

ferred that from your pieces"
A bibulous old Frenchman said the rea.
son he couldn't drink water was because il
tastes so Of sinners since the flood.
They say that the Indian name for editor
is Worak-;o-che mesh he kaw haw."
That's what We always thought il was. It
means tired and hungry
you don, buy boqrets OF me as you Us
ed to- said Madison florist to sad eyed
man the other day NO was the pathet.
ic reply Pm married now"
"AIy German friend, how long have you
been married ." "Vell, dis is a ting dat |
seldom don't like to talk apout, but when
does, it seems 50 long as Il never vas"
4 Texan town was recently visited by
clergyman for the first time in It's history,
and the hospitabIe inhabitants proposed get
ting up housc-race for his entertainment.
"Do you think your father is going to
move out soon 20 inquired the owner of a
rented house of The son of his tenant.
Reckon so, was the reply we've begun
using winder frames for firewood"
pa" said little johnny Mcswilligan,
"here's piece in the paper about Para
sites. What are they?' Parasites, my
boy, are people who live in Paris. think
you ought to know that, and you in the
Third Reader"
Nowadays people nod they used to bow
That is 10 say, in the hurry and contempt
for forms which this generation rather af-
fects there is a disposition 70 DO away with
ceremoniousness. There is a quick rccog-
milton aud a rushing on to attend TO busi-
ness, which seems to show more greed that
graciouSness.
Cheyenne clergyman, The Rev. r. l..
Field, lectures on the subject, "Aitcr Mar
riage what% Sometimes it's poverty. Mr..
Field, occasionally divorce, but more ire-
quently paregoric and soothing syrup, Group,
mumps, and measles Indeed, there are
ever so many things after marriagc-uu-
merous old maids, for instance.
Catharine Owen has published a book
called "Ten Dollars Enough" She may
think so now but by the time she gets all
the jet trimming, and stuff for The over
skirt, she will End that about ten dollars
more is necessary, not including The dress
makers BILL Ten dollars Is enough for the
material, but the trimming aud making cost
like sixty
A traveller in New England saw the fol-
lowing sign on board that was nailed to
fence near a village:
"Hores taken in to grass. Long tails,
$3.50; short tails, ST."
The traveller halted aud asked the owner
Of the land why there was such a difference
in the price Of board for horses.
well, you see, said the man, "lhe long
tails can brush away the flies; and short
ones are so tormentod By them thoy can
hardly eat at ALL"
She wasn't very young, butshe had mon
ey He didn't want the earth.
"Dearcsi,' he began utshe stopped him.
Il anticipate what you are about to say,
Mr. Sampson" she said "and would spare
your feelings, for 81 can never, never be-
esteem you highly, aDd wiilbe a sister to-"
81 have four sisters already, he replied
bitterly. "iour grown sister, aud life IS a
hideous burden. But, Oh, Clara, be went
on passion atey, "if you cannot be my wife
will you not give mc O. mothers protecting
love? I'm an orphan
pupil Of the Abbe sicord gave the fol-
lowing extraordinary answers:
"What is gratitude ?"
Gratitude is the memory Of The heart"
"What is hope?'
"Hope is the blossom Of happiness"
"What is the difference between hope and
desire ?'
"Desire is tree in leaf, hope is a tree in
flower, and enjoyment is q tree in fruit"
"What is eternity 90
"a day without yesterday or tomorrow;
line that has no end"
co. you good-ior-no.hing wretch % ex-
claimed Big William wife, a. she reached
her hand out Of bed and iolt in the cradle
to see # the baby was covered up
"Whash 'er mattcr| murmured Big, as
he turned in his sleep.
Matter enough Ough you Wake up
and 60 down stairs and bring baby up here
this minute"
"Did bring him mp. He'sh in the era
die"
"No such a thing. You've drunk too
much hard cider. You wrapped the Christ
mas turkey in baby's blankets and rocked
it to sleep in the cradle, you wretch, and
baby is downstairs ON the sofa catching
cold"
Gen. Meigs is very proud Of the Pension
building Il Is modelled after the FaFnese
palace. Gen. Bragg, who is chairman Of the
House committee on military affairs and
has occasion now and then to call on Com
missioner Black, has dubbed il the "Pen-
80. f-..-,-.- 4fTf 8. a. ,-,.- 90 -... 81