davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
An Orators Sorry BIunder.

Tom Corwin used to tell in his in
imitable way a story about a Mr.. Jones,
who was running for Congress in an
Ohio district, and who. while filling
his round of appointments. made a
speech, at the close of which, by way
of commenting himself to the "bone
and sinew," the regular sovereigns"
of the country. he said that he was a
self-made man. of ''obscure birth and
humble origin; that, in fact, he was
sprung from "the very dregs of the
people, why, fellow-citizens," said
he. warming up and elevsting his
voice, my parents were SO poor that
when l was eighteen years old my
mother had to tie me to the bedpost to
keep me from falling into the fire
whenever she went to the spring for a
pail of water" Of course he intended
to say eighteen months, and Mr.. Cor
win. who was present, cried out: ooh
Jones, Jones. what humping big
baby you must have beenr' The crowd
saw the point of the joke. and Jones
broke down at once, amid their jeers.
Ben: Perley Poore, in Boston Budget.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
CHEERFUL DINNERS.

Agreeable Social Inte1coyrse at Table
Essential Co Good DagestioDI
1t is said by medical authorities that
cheerfulness at meals is a great
promoter of health, and that what
ever increases agreeable social inter-
course at table is therefore matter Of
practical Importance. En- fact, one Of
the strongest pleas in fav.T of dinner
psrties, large or SMALL public or pri-
vste, is the fact of social intercourse
at and after dinner being favorable to
health. 1t is pronounced by high au-
thority that solitary meals are decid-
edly difficult of aigestion, that there
is no situation in whicli, digestion
goes on so favorady- as dur
ing the cheerful play of sentiment in
the after-dinner small-talk of a genial
social or family circle. More than
this. the merrier the assembly, the
better their digestion. Laughter.
says a famous doctor, lis one of the
greatest helps to digestion with which
[ am acquainted; and the custom pre-
walent among our ancestors of excit-
ing it at table by testers, and huffoons
was founded on true medical prin-
eiples; what nourishment one receives
amidst mirth and jollity will certainly
produce good and light blb0d.'
It is upon this rule, (hough without
showing that there is any -ule in the
matter) that people usually act. They
make any excuse first to, have the
meals, and then to, oollsea at them
pleasant and cheerful companions; or,
if those oompanions,beno not naturally OF
cheerful temperament. they make
them so byra good dinner; which. when
skillfuhy managed acts directly upon
the mind. and changes. the very nature
of q man Entioe a. miser TO a charity
FEAST and his contributions will be lib
eraL Al public, dsnnens.. dfseontentsd'
patriots. have been, heard TO utter the
most loyal speeches.: at private onss,.
bitter enemies have shaken hands. II
is almost impossible Tor any one tone.
sist the conciliating influence of the
seni.a cheerfuhess. which Is manifest
ed at social board surrounded by
agreeable companionS-N 7. LsdAfns
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21

were pitched by aid of the straight
edge" rule. Farthest to the west are
the guard and visitors tents; then
comes an open space between them
and the color line, along which the
arms are stacked every bright day. 1t
is in this space that the camp ceremo-
nies-gaard mounting. dress parade,
and the weekly inspections-take place.
Immediately behind the color line are
the tents of four companies, two in
ward-facing rows to each. with broad
alley, known as the general parade"
separating the right and left wings. The
company streets run east and west per-
pendicularly to the color line, and the
tents of the cadet officers are pitched
looking west along the streets of their
respective companies. Behind the
rows OF company officers tents, and
opposite the right and left of camp,
are the larger domiciles of those cadet
magnates the adjutant and quarter
master. Back still farther are the
double tents of the four army officers
who are the immediate commanders
"ho ihsti ucooIS VI Inc iouf companies;
and behind them all, at the rear of
camp, is the big marquee of the
Commandant OF Cadets. Dotted about
the rear of camp are the little tents
occupied by the drum boy "orderlies,"
the boot-blacks, varnishers, ETC.; and
around them all, day and night, PAGES
the chain of sentries, which, posted in
mid-June, is never removed until the
simultaneous fall of every tent on the
2Sth of August.-Captain Charles King.
in HARPER Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
AFTER WATERLOO.
How Napoleon Appeared After His Sur
render to the British.

How Napoleon Appeared After His Sur
render to the British.
Whether any course was open to Ma
poleon after the disaster of Waterloo
other than that which he adopted, a
second abdication, is certainly very.
doubtful. Had he taken the precaution
to dissolve the chambers before setting
out on the campaign, he probably
would have rallied the nation and pro-
tracted the struggle. But the cham
bers were unfriendly; any..parliament-
airy body is naturally unfriendly to a
military despotism, and, at that junct.
ure. nothing less than military des-
potism could possibly have saved
France from the calamity Of the Res
toration of the Bourbons by foreign
bayonets. Hence, unless Napoleon
should execute new coup d etat, there
was nothing for him but abdication.
On the 18th of July, 1915, Napoleon
surrendered himself on board the Brit
ish man-of-war Bellerophon- Of his
appearance and bodily condition dur
ing the two months of his stay on this
vessel we have an interesting account
in the narrative of Captain Maitland.
who commanded the ship. Maitland
describes him as "a remarkably
strong, well-built man, about five.feet
seven inches high, his limbs particu-
larly well-formed, with fine ankle
and very small foot of which he seemed
rather vain, as he always wore. while
on board the ship, silk stockings and
shoes. His hands were also very small,
and had the plumpness of woman's
rather than the robustness of mans.
His eyes light gray, teeth good, and
when he smiled, the expression of his
countenance was highly pleasing; when
under the influence of disappointment,
however, it assumed a dark, gloomy
cast. His hair was of very dark brown,
nearly approaching black. and,
though little thin on the top and
front, had not a gray hair among it
His complexion was a very uncommon
one, being of a light, sallow color, diff
fering from any other ever met with.
From his having become corpulent he
had lost much of his personal activity,
and if we are to give credit to those
who attended him, a very oonsidera-
BILE portion of his mental energy was
also gone. 1t is certain his habits
were very lethargic while he was on
board the Bellerophon; for, though he
went to bed at eight or nine o'clock in
the evening and did not rise until
about the same hour in the morning,
he frequently fell asleep Oh the sofa in
the cabin in the course of the day.
His general appearance was that of a
man rather older than he then was"
-Scribner's Ma0dztue,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
REMARKABLE FIGHT.
A French Divers Struggle With a olga
tic Marine Monster.

French Divers Struggle With a GI:an-
tic Marine Monster.
A diver named Quintree had re-
markable fight with formidable fish
called the boultous or bondro, kind
of shark which infests the Breton coast
at Douarnenez. the other day. Ac-
cording to all accounts Quintree had a
narrow escape. and his own report of
his terrible submarine encounter reads
like stanza from Schiller's famous
poem, or a page from Jules Verne's ro-
mances. The diver, an old salt, was
employed by the Government. and in
pursuit of his daily labor duly de-
scended. in diving apparatus, off the
Douarnenez pier for the purpose of
laying the foundation of an ad-
dition to that structure. While he
was at the bottom of the sea, the men
who were working the air-pump in the
pontoon boat above were suddenly
frightened by feeling the alarm signal.
They instantly pulled up, and brought
large boultous nearly eight feet long
to the surface. The marine monsters
head formed three-quarters of his
length, and his under jaws were of inn
mense size. Shortly afterward Quin-
tree came up. his hand on the air-pipe
of his helmet and his diving apparatus
somewhat damaged. 1t appears that
when he went down to his work he had
scarcely got to the last rung of the
ladder when he saw the sea monster
lying between two Jumps of rock. He
had in his hands only his stone chisel
and hammer, and he intended to 90 up
for a crowbar at once, but the fish was
too fast for him. 1t came toward him
through the green with it's enormous
jaw wide open. Without losing
moment Quintree managed to wound
the animal in the throat with his chisel,
and then held it down on a stone while
he drew his knife and made hole in
its body, through which he passed a
rope, and thus sent the fish to the sur
face. Had it not been for his quick
ness and dexterity the diver. owing to
the rents which the fish would make in
his apparatus. would have been
drowned, and then devoured. AS it
it was the boultotss that was
not only defeated but eaten, for its
body was divided among the victor
and his comrades. who made capital
bomlla6aisse of its prime parss. Parts
Cor. London Telegraph.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
TOURS TS' PERPLExITlES.
The Troubles That Beset the Travelling |
American in Foreign Lands.

The Troubles That Beset the Travelling
American in Foreign Lands.
A person speaking only the English
language may meet with amusing in.
cidents while travelling in Europe.
For example, an English clergyman
stopping at Swiss hotel. desiring ink.
got out his phrase book" looked it
carefully through to find the French
word for ink, and failing in his search,
concluded to ring his bell and ''saiI in
on his English The chambermaid
came to the door and he said: 'Wff"
you bring me some ink?" She ste
statue-like, and he repeated, link
Ink!-Inkr' She closed the door, lJ@l
very soon returned and asked eim
partly in French and partly in English,
whether he would have it warmed.
Again, on one occasion, l gave rail-
road conductor in Germany small
silver coin, in order to have the COM
partment we were IN all to ourselves
After riding for some distance we
came to a station where he was rar
placed by another conductor. Before
leaving, he came, opened our door and
said something to US in German. Sup
posing he desired to see our tickets.
extended my hand with them, at which
he shook his head We then thought
we must change ears again, having
ridden at least twenty miles without
doing so, and all rose up, at which
movement he second time shook his
head. We next decided that 1t GER
tainly must be time TO have our bag
gage vised, since at least four hours
had elapsed since the last examination,
and we accordingly pulled down our
valises and started for the door, where
upon the conductor not only shook his
head, bat pushed as back and shut the
door.
We afterward learned that he,
through innate politeness and in re-
turn, no doubt, for the small silver
coin had given him, was simply en-
deavoring to bid US goodbye"
While going up the Rhine we saw four
English gentlemen on the deck sitting
together; they called a waiter and Or
dered lemonade for four" The
waiter went away. was gone nearly
half an hour, and at last appeared
with ham and eggs for four. Nor was
he astray as to the sound of the order.
different in nature as were the viands
he brought, as anybody with bad
cold will perceive, if he will repeat the
words ''ham and eggs" and "lemon-
ade'' altern ately .-Anertcds Mngu-
zine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
The New Chinese Coinage

The Chinese are to have new cufh-
age. and ninety coming presses snd all
necessary machinery for fitting up
mint in China will be ready bs next
April. The presses, which are being
prepared in England, are noiseless ana
automatic, and are capable of produc-
ing 100000 coins per day Of ten
hours. The coins are to be dollar
pieces and three subdivisions, half, a
fifth and tenth in silver. as well as
the '.cash'' or mills" equal to one
thousandth part of dollar, IN rolled
brass The silver dollar is equal 10 IS
English money. OF the 2. 200. 600 coins
which are to be struck per day, 100, 600
are to be Of required) silver dollars.
The extent of the order may be esti-
mated from the fact that the Royal
Mint in London is only furnished with
sixteen presses. The value of the daily
coinage in English money is Els $50
London Times.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
LAVISH HOSPITALITY.
Why MI. Kaufman Was Pleased With IN
: lyisftto SAN Francisco.

WHY MT. Kaufman was PIeaseo with HIS
: svisitsto SAN francisco.
am not surprised that California
has such fine reputation for hospi-
tality. There is one man gone back
to Cincinnati from San Franoisco fully
persuaded that the Californiahs are
the most kindly, generous people
under the sun A worthy gentleman
of this city while in England lastsyear
was the recipient of very kindly atten-
tons from an Australian he met there
named, well say Kaufman. He had
been informed that Mr.. Kaufman
would pass through San Francisco en-
route for Australia, and a few days
ago he read in the paper as a guest at
a prominent hotel the names of A.
Kaufman and wife. He proceeded
with all due haste to pay his compli-
ments to them. He went up to the
clerk.
'.Is Mr.. Kaufman of London here?"
1856 said the clerk withouta mo-
ment's hesitation. go 80
'.Mr. A. Kaufman, of London?n
'736. 'FRONT.' ......
And with that inefable grandeur
with which only a hotel clerk can daz-
zle you, he waved the colored gentle
man up toward the roof with the gem
tleman's card. Somewhere about a
week passed. and the boy returned.
'736 not in"
My friend went to florists and had
handsome basket of flowers sent to
736. He went to the market and had
the finest fruit he could buy carefully
packed up to Mrs. Kaufman, 1876.
Next day had gone and no note or
message came from his friend. He
went up to the hotel again. -; 5ss-
us Mr.. Kaufman, of London, imp"
''756. Fronti'' again without a
wink. ..t. .=. .-..
And Front took the card and disap-
peared. In about ten days the boy
came down stairs again and said:
''736 not in"
My friend went on to his store and
had some fine wine sent UP to 1856.
Somebody brought him in wonderful
rose grown in q dollhouse in Oakland
description need not further go. He
called messenger and sent up this
elegant rose to his friends wife. Next
day went by and no note, no message.
He waited another day and then he
went up to the hotel.
"Mr. Kaufman, of London. IMP g,
1885, Front!'
And Front disappeared again with
another card .-, q
.:Mr. Kaufman will be down pres
entity" was the answer this time.
Presently stout German gentleman
whom my friend had not known came
up to him.. ..t. 4r..:
.You vas the gentleman as wanted
to see me?'' .-s.- ....
Il beg your pardon"
"My name vas Kaufman sI
''You Mr.. Kaufman? Ohr'
Il vas from Cincinnati. My wife
and myself we vas very much obliged
for the flowers and the fruit, and the
wine. Most beautifully
Then you got them aIl?'' .
''Yaas; and my wife was crazy about
that big rose-I never see such a rose.
You was klnd people. in California.
Sateens, fOlA he
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
GRASS AND STOCK.
Why Fertility and Cattle Raising Must OF
Necessity Go Together.

way Fertility and Cattle Raising Must OF
Necessity Go Together.
To very considerable extent the
amount of grass that can be raised
upon the farm determines the numbe
of stock that can be proftably kept,
SO. that obtaining large yields Ct grass
is at least very considerable aid to-
ward keepsng large number Of stock.
l think I ann safe in saying that other
things being equal, the larger the
number of stock kept upon a fam the
richer we can make the soil, and it
follows that the richer the soil the
more feed we can raise.
And it Is Just az essential to secure
large crops of grass, both for the stock
in the pastares, and to be cat and
saved as hay in the meadows. Both
are important, and one of the essen
tialS necessary to secure large yield
of grass is gich soik
While there is no question but that
land cam often be seeded DOWN to
pasture that can not be profitaDly oul-
tixated,. yet this is no indication that
in more fertile land much better
pasture. should not be secuse.. 1t is
atural to- suppose that land which is
rocky or I'm condition from any other
cause so that it could not be probably
cultivated would not make as good a
pasture-furnish as large a supply OF
foods land that could be property
prepared and seeded down and that
was sufficiently fertile to induce q
vigorous growth.
And the same may be said of meadow
land that has been in cultivation until
the supply of plant food is, in 8 great
measure exhausted, as we can see that
it fails to produce profitable crops if
seeded down. and will not give us a
proportionately larger suop of grass
than Of any thing else. gf
The real fact is that If we expect to
secure good growth ct grass We must
supply the necessary supply OF plant
food. In other words we must make
the soil rich. And the keeping Of
stock, if properly managed Is the most
valuable aid we cam secures for this
purpose we must feed all the stock we
can in order to make the soil rich. and
thus secure the best yields possible in
order to be able to feed the largest
| number OF stock. 1858
The two must of necessity go to-
gether. We mast feed the stock IS
economically as possible. and yet they
must be kept in . gooa condition. Il
is not often that the farmer can afford
to purchase any considerable amonat
of feed. He must rely on what is raised
on the farm, and Il we keep all the
stock that farm win carry. and are try
ing to increase the number, we must
save and apply the manure. prepare
and seed properly. SO THAT the largest
yield possible will be secured. We
must secure the yield before we can
feed the stock--H < Shepherd IN
american Desry'aaas-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
A VIEW OF WEST POINT.
The Exquisitely Trim Surroundings of tn
Nations Military School.

The Exquisitely Trim Surroundings of the
Nations Military School.
North and east the Point is hemmed
in by the mighty river. west and south
. by the rock-ribbed highlands. The
plateau. little by little has been
leveled and graded, until to-day it is a
broad. beautiful. grass-grown plain.
bounded on the west by the cozy homes
= of the officers and professors. on the
south by the stately barracks. the grim,
old-fashioned Academic" the Grecian
chapel and the domed turrets of the
Library. Skirting the precipitous river
; banks, a broad. graded road encloses
the plateau on the north and east, and
Others, as level and carefully kept
border it ON the west and south,
and nearly bisect it along the
meridian. Covered with well-cropped
turf. the westerd half of the ''plain"
is devoted to infantry drills; the bat
teries and the crunching hoofs of the
horses are limited to the gravel of the
eastern half. All around are the rocky
heights, trimmed with pine aud fir and
cedar. with here and there a peep at
THE stony parapet of some old redoubt
or battery thrown upin the days of the
revolution. The square-built hosiery,
once and for years known as Roe's,
stands perched at the northeast limit
of the plain. Statues in bronze or
marble CLEAN here and there amid the
foliage, and tell of deeds of heroism
and devotion on the part of the sons OF
the old academy. The tall white staff
glistens against the dark background
of the Highlands. and throws to the
breeze. high over all, the brilliant col
ors of the Stars and Stripes; and on
the easternmost verge of the broad
plateau lies the camp ground. the SUM
mer home of the Corps of Cadets.
Laid out in ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
5 with well-graveled pathways sentry
posts and .'color-line." and shaded bJ
beautiful trees, the encampment like
every thing else at West Point, Is se
exquisitely trim and neat as to have
little resemblance to the ''tented field
as seen in actual service on the front
fer. The white tents CLEAN IN &C
.surate ranks that look as though they
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
WiFEIY ECONOMY.
Mrs. Bixby's idea or Retrenchment In
Her Household Expenses.

Mira. Bixby's idea or Retrenchment In
Her Household Expenses.
Mrs Bixby became, convinced the
other day that retrenchment was abso-
lutely necessary in her household ex-
penses.
Business is. DUH" she said, ..and I
must make our bills as light as posi-
BILE. Poor husband is quite worried
over our affairs. Now, how can save.
five or ten dollars, and show Mr..
Bixby that women can be economical
il necessary I know, "4she said sud-
denly, in the joyful tone of one who
has had a happy thought Il will do
without the hat intended getting to
wear with my new gray suit. l can
| wear my black imported straw with It
very well. and I will, too Ijust must
learn to economize. +"
Then she put on her hat and went
down town, so elated over her ''cleal
saving of five whole dollars" that she
intended walking home with Mr. Bixby
at noon. and telling him all about it
wonder now" she said, as she
stopped before the windows of glove
store, II wonder if I couldn't afford q
new pair of those tan kid gloves with
stitching on the back. really need
them, and I've saved five dollars by
going without my hat, so-yes, I'll get
them; they'll cost only two dollars. :"
Ton minutes later she stood before
the ribbon. counter in a dry goods
store. .,..t;. a..
This ribbon is really cery cheap"
she was saying to herself, land / need
a lot of ribbon awfully. | wonder it ]
couEd afford it to-day. Let me see, l.
oh. of coarse l can, after saving five
dollars on that hat. $50, .a.- ..e
And she bought ten yards of ribbon
at twenty-five cents yard. &
''Great Sale of Embroidery" she
read on a haring placard a moment
later. 49, ii alaz,t
Just what need" she said. "but
I've been doing without because /
wanted to economize; but Tn sure
Charles couldn't say any thing if
bought little when Eve saved five
whole dollars s'# e@.i.
SO she bought "a little's for $1.75.
Then she got 1.-THE gEeatest kind of a
bargain" in remnants of French Cling.
ham for ST.. So
Il never would have bought it" she
said to herself, ''but it was so cheap,
and then I'd saved FIVE dollars this
morning" e-.".@ p ~
Before reaching her husbands office
with the cheering news of her economy,
she had bought four yards of lace, three
Of insertion, a pound of candy, two col
lars and pair of cuffs, pair of slip
pers, two pairs of hose, handkerchiefs,
three yards Of lawn, fan. bunch of
roses, another pair of gloves and six
linen handkerchiefs. and two neckties
for Mr.. Bixby. ." '.- ".@'s -
Then she repaired to Bixby's Office
with the tale of her economy, and end
ed by saying:
'.And here's o few little things
thought I could afford after saving so
much by going without my has.'
Bixby asked few questions made
rapid calculation and said in an utter
ly heartless tone:
''See here, Sally don't you econo-
mize any more. You'll break me sure
If you do You've got $16.9S worth of
things already out Of that five dollars,
and"
You're just too mean for any thing,
Charley Bixbyr'- Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-07-21
An AAardonea Railroad.

The unusual sight of a railroad being
stsipped of it's track and Abandoned
has been Witnessed in Ohio in the case
Of the Cincinnati. Columbus 81 Hooking
Valley, locally known as the Grasshop-
per road Its twenty-five miles Of
track. although lying in the heart Of
one of The richest States in the Union,
long sgo proved unproftable. and
after lying idle for some time, the rails
and ties were sold by the owner, q
Chicsgo capitalist for what they would
bring, and have been taken up and
carried away. Altheugh the road -hed
REMAINS, it does not verify the asser-
tion sometimes made that railway
once opened can never stop its opera
tion--CMcago Times tiEg