The Portland daily press., 1887-07-20
MARRIAGE FOR MONEY.
Some Aspects OF Modern Social Life
Viewed with Common Sense
[Harper's Bazar.l

LHarper's Bazar.l
Nothing can be more contemplate than
the life Of a man who makes show for a
few years that he may marry an heiress. He
lives purely selfish existence; he Is mere
cumberer Of the ground. To be the accom-
plished man Of society he may cultivate a
few gifts and graces, but he has no true man
hood. lie may be a convenient man 10 ask
TO dinner, an eminent club favOrite: he puts
down very handsome contribution TO every
ball list and every fashionable charity; he
should send good bouquets, be well mounted
at the hunt he must be one Of those color
less, civil, useless nonentities whom society
loves; he must have no disagreeable family
connections. He will then be asked where
the heiresses 20. He must be seen at every
tea, ball, reception: he must give an oeca-
sional theatre party he must know how to
be mean, and snub all the people who
nave been civil to him. only inviting those Of
the highest fashion who have snubbed him;
ne must be pure and perfect snOb.
He will then be spoken of as a young man
OF the highest fashion and Of excellent man.
ners. He must have that air Of cOld-DlOOded
ingratitude which none but real snObs know,
and perfect blindness IN seeing his friends
OF the past: he must do the 0pulent bachelor
business for a while. and adopt the languid
crutch and tOOthpick style; he must fill his
room with bric-a-brae and Eastlake furni-
ture, and give very recherche little suppers.
But IL he wants an heiress who knows the
value Of her money he must not appear fast
or dissipated; he should at least seem very
respectable.
The marriage money market is most vigor-
Gus 10 large cities, where an heiress rarely
gets through her first winter. The pursuit Is
sometimes disgusting, but the 'end justifes
the means:" such at least Is the worldly max
i'm. But even in this worldly and selfish
world there should be an etiquette. There
Is becoming ton In everything. "One Of
the most important points In life Is deceney
which Is to do what Is proper and when II Is
proper" says Lord Chesterfield. A man, to
enter the matrimonial money market, must
be gilded Turveydrop-all department.
He must appear TO be all that Is good, prop
er and deferential If he has claims TO an
exalted social position let him air those
claims well. Let him In some way convince
the lady's family that he looks down upon
them. He should utter only vague common
places. Nothing passes so current In society
as conversational inanities and fossil facts
well polished into inexpensive smOothness
III he can simulate passion for the young
lady, so much the better. III he cannot a
lofty superiority and an air OF giving them
the best article Of a husband that they can
buy for money has assauged many vulgar
family who need position and are willing to
pay for 1t.
The etiquette Of such marriage Is as for
NAL ana as studied as that of any other rec
ognized Institution. II man marries a
woman for her money, he should never let
her suspect it; he should be studlOusly atten-
tive and kind. Indeed, much could be urged
in the way Of everyday p0liteness upon even
loving husbands who support their wives
handsomely. III marriage becomes a stock
exchange, ameans to an end, the husband
should pay his interest by being remarkably
attentive. Heiresses are very much attended
to In the world OF society. Their rent roll Is
discussed, and II Is ascertained TO nicely.
They are sometimes injured by the fact, as
they often come to believe that they are SOLE
ly valued for their money.
Some heiresses, however, marry good men
Of real character, who determine to repay
the money obligation by a life Of devotion.
These matches are often very happy ones.
Rich people Of both sexes have hearts, and
often make good marriages and are very hap
But when heiresses marry calculating R0-
me0s, who use their wife's money for their
own pleasure, and neglect and insult the
woman who has benefited them, then come
misery, scandal, and, as we may see every
day. the divorce court.
The people who, as In Europe, marry their
children 10 each other without speaking Of
love, demand that each shall bring something
TO the common fund; indeed. II tine money
question comes in, 1t would seem 10 be the
best and most honest arrangement TO not al
i0Vg-1n impecuni0uS man 20 be wholly sup
ported be rich woman.
american etI6uette does not yet arrange
itself for the marriagBsRs eOhVehahce. Al
though a man who has rf8kklel I0r money
may have q social pTe-eminence % wnlle'
there is class to whom he always d. up,
and who, he feels, do not always respect M ;
those are the hard working, successful pro-a
fessiOnal or mercantile men who have made
their own way. There is something much
more handsome in the full blooded, high
mettled racer that depends on his own speed
and strength, than In the fat, sleek, lazy
coach horse that is fed and pampered. The
contrast Is disadvantageOus and humiliat-
ing. There Is no such admiration felt by
mankind for the man who Is simply fOrtu-
nate as for him who deserves fortune.
Money Is a very good thing to have III IL Is
not the only attraction. There should al
ways be a shot In the loeker-a wise provis-
ion against prolonged illness, against chill
dren's needs, their education and clothing
Wellbred poor married people suffer untold
tOrtures in not being able 10 educate their
children according to their rank in life.
IL Is not strange that parents who have
felt the evils OF poverty are anxious that
their children should make rich marriages.
There is no want so perceptible to maturity
as that Of money; Il Is In its way every
thing; but parents who have married for
love should not ignore or forget their own
early happiness, nor the strong attraction
which brought them together.
Although there Is much TO urge against
marriage for money, on the other hand,
much can be urged against an improvident
marriage for women who have been gently
reared Knowing how much they need lux
ury, many worldly women determine 10
marry for money, and become perfectlrObber
baronesses, sallying forth from their castles
armed 10 destroy. Such women never love
deeply or passl0nately. They are social cha
mele0ns taking the color Of the times. They
are full OF subserviency to those high In
place and power. Such woman plays her
part in fortunes pageant and plays II well
but woe unto the child that Is born unto herl
She prefers her little dog. Some Of these
worldly women who enter into the money
market are butchers In disguise; they are
Neros, Caligulas. They show ferocity tow
ards their rivals, egotism and selfshness
toward the men whose moneys hey are
spending. They are like the tigress that
eats her victim while still alive. A woman
of this character will flirt. and get divorce,
while her husband will suffer his wrongs In
silence.
Such is the wrong side Of the tapestry.
No wonder that the consideration Of such
crimes has driven many an heiress out Of
society, and many woman who Is afraid Of
her temptationsl She may see a friend Of
her youth who has made rich marriage
and what good or happiness has come 70 her?
She has very handsome clothes and hand
some house, high-stepping bays and fine
carriages, but her husband will not put five
dollars In her purse. He treats her meany,
and says women do not understand the value
of money-they give 1t away, they spend it
foolishly-not considering that many women
in the world are providing all the money
that the husband spends
One would think that the calculating RO-
meO would dislike TO 90 TO his wife for
money. please, dear Juliet. 10 give me a
ducat does not sound very heroic. A man,
however. often spends his wife's fortune
herOieally, and calls 1t his. She ought to be
grateful, he says, II he does not spend 1t ON
her rivals.
While 1t is degrading to see man marry
for money simply, II Is still more degrading
and foolish for a woman 10 marry merely
for money. thus showing herself willing to
sacrifice all that Is most sacred to woman for
what money can buy. How many a woman
do we see dragging rich, vulgar husband
about who Is merely an appendage 10 her
diamonds How many an educated woman
bushes for her husbands grammar. Who
shall portray that more than Spartan endur-
ance with which these women hide the vul-
ture despair which Is preying on their vitals?
"With what pardonable artihce will they
bllndly smile-a smile like that Of st. Agnes
at the stake or like the sunshine on an over
flowing yolcanOw The sufferings of women
who have married uncongenial men would
ill volumes.
Literature In Canada.
lroronto Globe.l