St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-11-20
A CONFIDENTIAL TALK.
The Contribution Box.

young man, go early. Don't wait until
you think the contribution box has been
passed and there is no danger of having
to look it in the face with blank stare.
The majority of church-gOeTs seem to
have supreme contempt for the con-
tribution box. They enjoy the services
hugely until the box is started up the
aisle, when they hump themselves around
sideways in their pew and look at the
ceiling, or fix their gaze on the wall dec
OratlOnS and never look down until the
box is past; then they settle down, fix
themselves comfortably in the pew that
somebody else is paying rent for, and
enjoy the sermon from about the same
standpoint that the small boy who has
sneaked under the canvas enjoys
the circus. Idon't believe that any man
can get half-rate ticket to heaven,
or cut down his transportation
by figuring on an excursion ticket.
There are those, however. who seem to
think that if they mix up with the
crowd that is surging heavenward they
will be carried through the gates with
out their presence being suspected
until they are inside. Some may man
age to get in this way, but when the day
comes for showing credentials things
won't work very smoothly for those peo-
pie whose only recommendation is that
they are firSt-clasS sneaks.
Treat the contribution box kindly.
The contribution box is one of the
main props of the kingdom of heaven.
Every time the cOntributionbox is stuck
under your nose it asks you:
do you believe i'll Christianity"
''DO you believe that churches are
benefit to the community?"
do you believe your parents, sisters,
hrntbnpc XVifa nhiIHrap ORC morally
better because they attend church?'
If you reach down in your pocket, pull
out some money and drop it into the
box, that means "YeS." If YOU turn
your back on the box and look cross
eyed at the ceiling, that means NO"
No man need to be ashamed of the
amount of money he puts into the con-
tributiOn box. A little chunk of copper
with an Indians head on one side and
''one cent on the other, when given by
fellow who has it in his hand waiting
for the contribution box to get to him
and never thinks of it after he has drop
ped it in, is worth more in the treasury
department of the capacouS hereafter
than barrel of $40 bills given by man
who waits till he's asked for it and then
gives it up as though he was performing
an act that the Ruler of the Universe
should fall at his feet and thank him
for.
Give somethingi
Don't let a contribution box get by
you without in some manner showing
your regard for it. If you smoke. fOrego
the pleasure of one cigar and put 10
cents in the box. You can't tell how
long the influence of that 10 cents may
be felt. If you are in the habit of tax
ing, now and then, light drink, let one
sip go by default and drop the price into
the box. When you come to die, you'll
be so busy with more important matters
that you'll forget all about the drink
that you've missed in this manner If
you intend to go to the theater during
the week, and think of a certain dollar
seat down stairs that you want, put p
cents in the contribution box and buy
75-cent seat up i'll the balcony. You may
not like it at first, but when you stop to
think why you happen to be there,
you'll enjoy the show just as much as
though you were i'll an upholstered box
down stairs. Those people who can buy
tickets to the theater and circuseS and
refuse to patronize the contribution box
had better stay away from church and
give their seat to some fellow who isn't
inclined to sneak his way into heaven
and depend on his plea of poverty to get
him plush-cOve red seat at the right
hand of the great | Am.
| wish to lay down a few rules that
contributors to the contribution box will
find of great value to them if followed
out.
First-BefOre going to church remove
all pieces of string from your pockets.
This will save you the embarrassment
of giving the congregation the impress
sion that you are unraveling yourself,
when you feel around for your money.
SecOnd-DO not allow yourself to pass
through the church door with old pant
buttons, shingle nails, ct cetera, in your
pockets, for you are always sure to pull
each one of them out before you strike
your money.
Thrd-See that you have not put
your chewing gum i'll the same pocket
with your change. This precautiOn will
save time, as the collector won't have to
wait for you to pick the gum off the
cent pieces and dimes.
Fourth-It is always best, where q
person is able to do so, to have suit Of
clothes made especially for wearing to
church. These clothes should have but
one pocket in them. This would enable
the Wearer to make immediate cOnnec-
ton with his money. Where ordinary,
everyday clothes are worn, a man feels
in every pocket he's got before he finds
his money. This can be proven beyond
a reasonable doubt.
Fifth-Everyman who desires to be
liberal contrib tor to the church should
avoid trustinguthe matter to his wife.
Hats come too high to permit of a
woman contributing more than a nickel
to the box at any one time.
SiXth-Always think of the cOntribu-
ton box the last thing before you start
for church. You will find that this is
not half as embarrassing as to think OF
it the first thing after you get into the
church.
Hang Around the Bottom.
Young man, don't waste your time
trying to get to the top. You have un-
doubleday been Informed ere this that
there is plenty of room up there. and
such is fact, for but very few men
have been able to climb that far and
keep their grip.
Don't strive too hard to be president
of the United States, for if you do the
chances are strongly ill favor of your
going down into the grave diSappOint-
ed man, with wasted life for shrOud.
There are great many honest,
shrewd, successful men who have never
debating society.
The majority of men are lowering
around the bottom, young man, and
that is a good place for you to stay. You
won't feel lonesome if you decide to do
this for some time to come. Just hang
around the lower rung of the ladder and
attend strictly to business. Don't bother
your head about the top. If there is
reserved seat for you up there the first
thing you know you will be occupying
it. Don't try to force yourself into it,
and. above all things, don't go out be-
tween the acts.
Keep busy. Attend to your knitting.
Don't get discouraged because your back
aches, but saw wood.
The majority of men who get to the
Tor, nn,undnuS do 90 hv Standing ON