The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1887-12-07
A Low Priced Marriage Foe.

the performance Of their parishonal du-
ties. The payment of the wedding fee
is one of the most trying things to the
reverend gcntleman's gravity, when
it is made BY certain class Of men who
seem TO have no original ideas on the
subject
The following incident was related by
a minister's wife, and occurred in one Of
the manufacturing towns of Massschu-
setts.
On one of the widest of mid winter
nights, about nine O'Clock, when We
were just thinking of putting out the
lights and retiring, there came a furious
pull at the bell.
"Who can that be this time of night ?"
said my husband.
go and see for yourself?" an
swered.
Good evenin', parson," heard a deep
voice utter as the door opened. Purity
powerful storm aout, amt il? Guess you
wasn't lookin' for callers sich night,
was you ?''
By this time the parlor door was open
ed, and there entered tall, gaunt, Ian
tern jawed man of some forty years of
age. and little fidgety woman wrapped
to the eyes in heavy shawls and thick
wells.
They both seemed very much abashed
at my presence and to my remarks about
| the weather and my questions about the
warmth of the room, whether it was com
Portable. they answered in the merest
monosyllables.
! succeeded, however, in unwrapping
the p,or woman, and the conversation
| grew less and less, while they both SAT
bashfulIv side by side, seeming at loss
how to proceed with their important
/ business.
At last the man twisted himsel to the
edge of his chair and leaning to ward his
companion, said
Shall tell the parson what We come
over here for, MeIindy 2n
! YES, tell him, of course" she an
swered
we are come toto git married. You
see Melindyan' mes been keepin' com
pany goin' on tew years last Christmas,
an she says now as we might Jest as well
get married right away an she'd do
without a trossy. SO said that right
away means tonight, an 80 got the
/ license, and here We be. Melindy, air
YOU ready, old girl ?''
II did not take many moments 10 make
them man and wife. and when the last
words of prayer dropped from my hus-
bands lips, the newIy-ma Ie groom cram
med one of his horny hands deep into
his pocket, and pulling out handful Of
coin, asked:
What's yer price for sich a job"
Oh, always leave that matter to
the generosity Of the parties concerned"
Well, say, look a-here lin an under
tone and turning his back to me- do you
think you could git along with dollar
and a half?7
Here MeIindy pulled his eoat-tail and
whispered:
Say a dollar an a quarter, Sam
That is great plenty"
Then all was silent for Eve minutes. IN
which sam counted out dollar and a
quarter in one, two, three and ive-eeni
pieces, and at my husbands direction,
emptied the pile into my lap.
| asked them to sit down and get
| warm before going home, which they
did.
| | noticed that the bride was breathing
very heavily, and asked her if she had
a cold
On, nothin' but the Amy. I've been
half dead with it nigh unto five years.
sam thinks mebbe if | quit workin in
the mill I'll get better of it. / think
myself bein married will be COOL fer me-
When they departed Sam told u
where they were To live and insisted on
US calling to see them. So one day when
we were driving past then home | went
in a moment.
They had been married only six
months. but il seemed to me Melindy
had grown much older and had the most
unhappy air about her conceivable. As
soon as she had greeted me she began
pouring out her woes into my ears.
oh, ifTd a known what it was he
was bringin' me to, I'd never y come to
live with him an to beOne of his family
Why, he told me married life was Par
rydise on earth, 50 he did, an | never
knowed as how he'd been married four
| times, an had lot o. young uns scatter
ed all over creation he WIS a goin' to
have me to take care Of But after We
got down to housekeeoin they all came
home, and among 'em his sisters two
Young 'uns. That's one Of 'en beating
the dishpan with the poker. He's the
strongest six-year-old you ever see. He's
beat everything in the house to flinders.
But the worst of ali is Sam takes dram
now an then an comes home so cross
an ugly don't know what to do An
Sally Ann, by his second wife, is stuck
up thing an mOcks me when | get to
wheezin' unusual. An my agony amt
no littler, and beside that I'm gettin'
weak back. promised YOU I'd come to
church, but such people as ] hain't time
for much religion"
Here the six-year-Old got into trouble
with the ca which objected to being
pulled from under the stove by the tail,
and MeIindv flying to the rescue, made
| my escape
Poor Melindy, with no time for reli-
gion, Who could have greater need for
it than Just such poor, struggling souls as
you
| told the state of affairs to nv hus-
band who remarked that he thought that
marriage tie was hardly worth dollar
and quarter, at least to one of the par
ties.
Oil Flowing Into His Well.
JoShtra Rsilev of Stonv Rrn Rarts