The Osceola times., 1887-04-09
BOWSeR AND THE BAHv
The Mother of the Little Cherub p.,..
Some of Her Trials and Tribui.,,.s

fact that Mr.. Bowser and l do not .,
actly agree as to how baby shouldI a.
brought up. l think he is a very =,
reasonable father in various instano,S
He came home one day when babv va
only three months old and found E,-
crying.
Mrs. Bowser, that baby's o.,
cornsm exclaimed Mr.. Bowser. ..h'
hung up his hat.
"Cornsp"
"Yes, corns! You act as if you nev.,
heard of corns. Put him down wbilof
examine his feet"
1.-The idea! Who ever heard Of
baby three months old having cornsyS
There's good deal in this wor,a
you never heard of, Mrs. Bowser. Pm,
the young'un down"
He examined the baby's feet, puuoa
his toes apart, and of course he didn't
find any corns. knew he wouldn't
"Then what is he bawling aboutyr
he persisted.
Babies always cry more or less.n
They do, eh? Well, if this on.
doesn't cry less I'll find some way Ia
make him! | shall hold him responsi.
BILE from this day out"
Our baby had the hives, as every
other baby has. Mr.. Bowser came
home and found me holding the child
and mother preparing some warm
/ 4 l. Thnt.a hn
pimples, but baby wasn't even fretting
whats the matter of that Young
monkey nowP" demanded Mr.. Bowser
as he caught sight of the pimples.
"Only the hives, my dear"
"Only! Have you had the doctorP"
"Why, no, There is no need of
doctor"
'Isn't there! Mrs. Bowser, that may
be hives, and it may be smallpox! 1t
looks more like the latter disease to me.
If that young un has gone and brought
the smallpox into this house / warn
him to look out for himself I'm Low.
ing husband and fond father and all
that, but propose to draw line with
my children. | shall draw it at small.
poS.
"Mr Bowscrn said my mother, "you
should not get unduly excited. This
is only case of the hives. This child
has yet to go through with measles,
chicken-pox, whooping-cough and
several other kindred diseases or all.
ments.
"He has, eh! He proposes to keep
this house upset for the next eight Or
ten years, does hep Never! I'll In,
him out this very night and lay him on
somebody's doorstep
Baby was five months old before Mr..
Bowser suddenly discovered that be
was bald-headcd. He was holding the
child at the time. and he rolled him
into the crib and called me from the
foot of the stairs:
"Mrs. Bowser, for Heavens sake
come down here as fast as YOU can!n
"What is it?' ] asked as | hurried
down.
why, this internal young un's bald.
headedn'
"Is that ALP Why, thought you
had dropped him!'
ais that all! Isn't that enough' He
might as well die at once. Think Of
the ridcule that will be heaped upon
my child from the very hour he is able
to toddle to the door! Grown people
will take him for some little old man
who was sawed off for n dwarf, and
children will yell: 'Bald-headed Bow.
sern at him. Imagine our feelings as
we hear the street gamins shout: odd
Bowser, where's your bald-head' And
it has come to this!'
"Gve the baby chance. my dear.
"Chance! Chance! Haven't | give
him every possible show since he was
bornP Hasen't he been the direct
and only cause of my losing fifteen
pounds weight in four months"
But his hair will come out, Hell
have a good head of hair when he's 9
year old"
"Oh. he will! Yes, if he knows
what's good for him he will. He's my
child, of course | have got the feeling
of father, but sooner than have hin
grow up bald-hcad, I'd abandon aad
disown himr'
One day soon after found baby
scalp red and irritated, and the coos
informed me that she saw Mr.. Bowsel
fussing around the crib. | called hin
in from the back yard and charged hin
with sinister designs, and know from
his guilty manners that he had beer
trying some of his nostrums warranted
to make hair grow.
On another occasion, when / wa
giving baby bath, Mr.. Bowser hap
pened in, and it wasn't minute be
fore Mr.. Bowser had made up hii
mind that the child's feet were toe
large.
Nonsense, Mr. Bowser! His feet am
all right. See how chubby and healthy
they are"
'1cs, and gaze upon their size!
tell you, he was cut out for a giant
In two years my boots won't fit him!
"Pshaww
"You may pshaw all you will, but
he's going to be a monstrosity! II
won't be five years before you'll sec
an advertisement in the papers read
ing:
GREATEST WONDER
"oF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY,
"Big Footed Bowser, son OF Old Man and Olo
Woman Bowscr OF Detroit