The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-01-01
FACETIA,

1t is reported that Mrs. Speaker Carlisles pet
parrot calls for cocktails when it is thirsty, and
afterward vocferates "Hurrah for Carlisle!"
-"Times is hard" said Naugatuck widow
with sigh, "and hev he'd hard luck. lost my
husband last month and seven likely shotes with
the hog cholera"
Grant me, immortal gods, this boon below
Let me forget one-half the things know,
And bid me know one-half now forget,
So ever prayeth Robert ]. Burdette
"A Cincinnati paper devotes over two columns
of editorial to show that the chances are against
the resurrection of women after this life. If the
women don't arise good many men will not care
to.
"A lecturer is going around the country asking
in public places: "Where is the Ideal Wife p
We don't know; we don't want to know. What a
man wants is real wife, and he doesn't always
get her.
-'T say, Lighthead, that girl I've seen you so
much with lately is about the homeliest I ever
saw. Why do you take her out" 81 owe q
months board" replied Lighthead. "What on
earth has that to do with it ?" "She's the land
lady's daughter"
"A tired and worried woman hurried into the
Montreal Central Police Station the other day and
asked if there were any stray children recently
picked up. She was told that there were five in
the different stations. "Well, I've lost seven,"
she said. "Whcrc tho othor two hep"
"A chunk of boy asked Ticket Seller Ayres
for half-fare ticket to Cheshire, the other day.
GLOW old are you ?" asked the ticket seller. "Ten
years DID," said the boy. "When were you born p
asked Mr.. Ayres. "Ten years ago." said the
young Yankee. He got his half fare ticket.
"A Chicago railroad man and Chicago re-
porter both say that it is becoming fashionable for
young men of that city to kiss each other vigor-
ousy when they part for any length OF time
and when they meet again. The railroad man
says it makes him sick to see the fools.
"A new story is told of w. R. Travers, the wit
of Wall street. His wife was one day bringing
motto in their home which read, "God Bless Our
Home. "Let me put one in the other corner"
said Mr.. Travers. "What is the motto" 81
would like to have it read, and d-n our Cook 4"
"A young woman is reported as saying that in
her set the unmarried women are divided into
three classes. The very young girls just making
their debut in society are called "Debbies;" the
antiquated old maids called "Tabbies," and
the intermediate ones are called Charters" be-
cause they tarry unwedded
"A sheet of ordinary paper warmed in front OF
fire will, in dark place, give very decided
electric spark upon the application of the knuckle
with o cracking sound. On placing sheet OF
gold leaf between two sheets of paper thus eectr-
fed, and passing pencil point over them in o
zigzag course, q luminous flash quite strong will
appear.
smart horse. The school teacher of the district
school boards with Miss Foster, who has the horse
harnessed at noon and night, and tells him to go
and get the teacher. Thereupon the old fellow
starts at gentle trot for the schoolhouse, half
mile distant. Arriving there, he makes the turn,
and heading toward home, patiently awaits the
closing of the school. He also carries the teacher
to school, and comes home alone.