Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-02-18
A New Version.

| MIRA AntOnlS OIdtlOH ONcI tuC
dead body of Caesar has often been
misquoted. Following is the only
authentic version:
Friends Romans and toughs.
| come to bury Caesar, not to boost him for the
Legislature.
Aman never knows how mean he IA until he
runs for office,
Nor how good he is until he is dead.
Hence my complimentary remarks about the
corpse,
The noble Brutus hath told you that
Julius had kingly aspirations.
II II were 80 the deceased has paid well for his
folly.
Here, under the leave of Brutus and the rest OF
the gang
(For Mr.. Drutus is gentleman and scholarl
/ come to conduct the funeral services.
lie was my friend, faithful and just to me,
And when he had as much as dollar about
Ills old military suit could always get dime
OF It.
When the poor hath cried Caesar hath dittoed.
For he always tried to stand in with the people.
Ambition should DO made OF tougher stuff,
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious and Brutus
lisa daisy.
You all did see that on the Lupercal did
Thrice present him with kingly crown,
Which he did three times refuse.
lie said that twas a second handed crown
That | had bought at an auction sale.
Besides ii was number smaller than we wore.
speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here l am to speak what l saw in the
morning papers.
naav ,rith mo ,rantla paauuf xvaatare
My heart is in the eoflin there with Caesar
And must get it back before he is buried
First Citizen Mark you his wordsS He would
not take the crown.
Second Citizen-said he didn't want any
secondhand crown.
Third Citizen-But amt old Mark getting
there, Ely?
Fourth Citizen--Now Mark Antony is gong
tospeak again.
Antony-But yesterday the word of Caesar
might
Have stood for suit of clothes at any jew store
in Rome
Now he lies there as dead as the Blair bill,
And none so poor as to do him reverence.
oh, toughs. II were disposed to stir your
Hearts and minds TO mutiny and rage
should do Brutus wrong and Cassius wrong,
Who, you all know, are dangerousmeE and jim
handles.
viii not do them wrong. rather choose to
Wrong the dead, sell the stIff to medical col
lege,
Than incur the dispeasure OF my Brutus and
Capt CassiuF.
But here is parchment with the seal OF Caesar.
l found it among his war papers, It's his VIII
(Which, pardon me, do not purpose to read,
l am going to scoop it for the paper am re
porting for.
Ifyou could hear this will you would kiss
Poor iims RS wounds and dip your bandAnas
In his bio ID and paint Rome red.
First Citzen-Thc viii the will!
Second Citizen-rurn on the gas
Third Citizen-Pull down your vest!
Fourth CitiZcn-Rat,!
Antony-IIave patience, gent buns, and l
win read the will, Make ring
Around the coffin but don't crowd the remains,
First Citzen-AIake room for Antony! Oh, |
Bully Mark!
Antony-Nay, press not upon me-get on my |
corns, you dirty banana peddlerl
Second Ciuzen-What's the matter with |
trimming your dnrned cOrns2
Antony-Ifyou have tears to shed
Prepare to do the act, for J. Marcus Antony is
Going to make Rome howl.
You all do know this gum overcoat9
| remember the first time Julius put 1t ON;
. Twas on warm summer eve in his tent
That day he ran in the Neryii.
Look! In this place he ran Cassius' corn knife |
through.
See what a rent Cascais razor madel
Through this the son of a gun, Brutus, ran his
Arkansas tOothpick.
And as he drew the rusty blade away and wiped
II oil his shoe poor Cesar bled like a fattening
hog
And the coroner's jury says this was the lick
That. cut on Mr.. Cgsar's atmosphere,
When tbs noble Caesar saw him stabbed
He said verbatim, Fl literatim, ct tn Brute,
And with his gum coat muGling up his face,
Poor Caesar climbed the golden stairs
Oh, what fall was there, my countrymen!
First Citizen-Chestnut.
Antony-sweet, free lunch fields hear the Will,
Iere 1t is-I don't know how many more there
are.
listen! To every Roman citizen he gives forty
acres and amue.
First Citizen-You don't tell meg
Second Citizen-Oh daisy Julius.
Third Citizen-We will run Brutus in.
Fourth Citizen-Fire. shoot, kill (e8uent)
citizens with the body.
Antony-Now let it work Mischief, thou art
afoot,
Fake thou what course thou will, forh-l has
broke loose in Georgia.