South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-05-13
Story ola Sarll.s.

] was IN . first-c,ass restaurant din.
18 with friend, and feeling in = Cen.
erous noel, called for Q box Of sar.
dimes.
Mind, now" I sail to tho waiter. Il
want the genuine sr;iclc, mono Of the
down East imitation
VERY WELL
ue disappeared and soon returned.
bringing what seemed to DO tho real
thing called for, picked up our cheek,
replaced it with one calling for fifty
cents more. smiled, and retired.
All! l said, tipping back the lid,
which had been skillfnlly opened by
the waiter, "herc is food fit for q king.
Look, added, turning the box about
SO that my companion could read the
legend neatly inscribed on the Gilt
pand encircling the sardine box-a
fhuiHe DO irc-"no imitation abolt
that, ell. Try one
My friend thrust his glittering fork
INTO one of the tempting morsels.
when, to the astonishment of us both,
u began to work its gills and wigclc
It's tins and tail. It's ewes snapped
viciously. My friend was about to drop
ms fork IN amaZement, believing the
hsh to be bewitchcd. when TO our won
der IT suddenly spoke out in low but
Ineligible voice:
Il nm no sardine!"
Wy hat are you?' ] asked cxcitedly.
Only herring, n harmless little
herring it replied innocently. II
never saw France; don't even under.
stand the language of the label on tho
box that recently contained me: I
don't efcn know what an olive is, but
u you want any information concerning
cotton seed you can consider me au.
thority."
by this timo my friend had somewhat
re overcl his self-po.session, and. Law
ing the talking fish ,enderly upon hi,
plate, waved hi, hand and said, i'm an in
terested way: go on; YOU seem to be
quite entertaining"
Entertain :ng? o, no." repliel the
little herring, with diffident look;
not Mt all; never had college edu-
cation; If had might not have been
boxed mp here with my unfortunate
friends, but might have been editing a
grocery journal, exposing canned
goods frauds and other abuses. No, L
am only little herring-a very small
isl from the coast of Maine"
Prom Maine?"
Yes, Maine. / would not have to
get naturalized even to vote but then.
You see there isn't many people who
know the difference. There's many
noble young fellow in this country who
cuts off his horses tail. dri, es and
talks English, who would pass for
genuine cockney in Zulnlaud. Yes, /
am down-East Yankee from PASSPORT"
"Eastport?' calculated
Yes, close to Canada, where a good
many so-called sardines would like to
be IN certain emergencies. i wish |
was back there to-day frisking in nv
native element; but 1 am doomed it
seems, to not only be devoured by our
good friend here. bat to tickle his
palate as 1 go down with genuine
sardine flavor. No, am no sardine; 1
am only herring-a harmless little
herring from Maine"
We were fast growing interested
"Iou see, !" continued our fishy little
friend, some smart fellows down East
found out by experiment how they
could make me taste so much like tho
real French article that no American
could tell the difference, so they went
into the bus ness on large scale. The
cotton-iields OF the South furnish tho
seed-thls makes the oil in which we
are boiled, spiced, and made to taste so
delicious. Take.a nip at mo! There,
now, you wouldn't dream that you had
the taste of cotton in your mouth,
would you? But it's there all the
same. No sardine? No rhuilie
Goiire-only cotton-seed oil and q
harmless little herring.
Money in us? Yes, should think
so. Let me see; we cost about five
cents box-a whole box of us, Just
think! The packer sells us at profit
OF from five to seven cents; the retailer
sells us at about thirty cents, and by
the time VIC get to you on the
restaurant table VIC are worth fifty
cents. Not bad for poor little Yankee
herring, is it? And the PhuiYe lie
cotton, in VIII ch we are immersed, is
none OF the best either. "-Grocers'
Criterion.