South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-11-18
mo PUDDING. "
The Joys and Sorrows of a
Suburban Editor
Who Yields Pen and Compos-
ing Stick With Equal Facility.

ing Stick With Equal Facility.
Now and then, some one with more
time Tor criticism than work writes
long article about the shortcomings of
some journal in the matter of typo
graphy, and in what he imagines to be
facetious vein proceeds to tear up the
aforesaid journal and also conveys to
the world sample of his choice and
elegant diction and wcll-turned phrases.
because a man is philo.ogist, Greek
scholar, and can analyzs a double tur-
reted sentence at sight, it does not nee.
essarily follow that he is more atflu-
ent or rich in the juices of the world
than the parvenu who uses lower cosc
letter to designate the first person sing
ular. To run newspaper by "your
lonely, as the late VIM. Bacon Shake
speare would say were he living, re-
quires something more than the mere
ability to parse aud con jugate. Many a
man OF scholarly attainments, but of no
business experience, has sat around
doing nothing an would starve but for
the active skirmishing of the more prac-
tical but less learned members of the
family. We do not run this paper to
show or air our erudition. No, sir, we
run 1T for the scads, large circular silver
scads. When we receive a check. it is
not rejected and sent back to the max or
with sarcastic and naughty letter
because there is no periol after the
middle initial of the makers name. or
| II, In the abbrcviation Of tho month.
the full punctuation mark is omitted. 1t
is well for these supercritical editors
who consume a lot of valuable time in
hunting with microscope in the col
umns of suburban papers for inverted
letters and misplaced punctuation marks
that they had influence to catch on and
then retain their places on wealthy pa
per. Any graduate of college or Adde'S
cent youth can do this act with equal
facility. But when it comes to running
weekly in a suburb we will wager the
gate receipts that the above described
editors and fledglings would lose some
OF their cheerfulness and alb
dominal amplitude in performing
the manifold duties falling to
the lot of country editor. The
office is not supplied with electrical an
nunciators; no we'll stocked libraries or
works of reference are ours; no electric
lights shed their rays over our violet
Undiscovered furniture, and when we
would sit down, a rheumatic stool Is our
principal reliance. There is an impress
sion prevalent that the editor has a sine
cure and valet. and his own private
carriage when he woull travel. The
editor splits his own wood writes most
of the copy and has no Remin gton per-
fected typewriter to help him out, sets
his own matter, distributes it after
wards, answers large mail without the
aid of shorthand amanuensis, trims the
obdurate wick of the smoking Kerosene
lamp, and in addition to
all this, placates the irate sub
scriber, soothes and restores to its nor
NAL position the heaving bosom of the
angry politician, swears and fumes at
the omnipresent office boy, appeases the
wrath of the man whose name was
, printed wrong in the last issue, gives
satisfactory excuses why all the "ads. :"
were not placed between columns of
pure reading matter, condoles with the
afflicted, and Immediately after reiolc-
es with the man who strikes il lucky.
and thousand other things likewise.
until at the end of the week his ROSY
cheeks are no longer rosy and his eyes
are marked with blush rings. MANY
OF the typographical errors made by us
are due to the dense obtuseness Of the
intelligent compositor, and in many in
stances to the innate pervcrsencss Of
things inanimate. II is not our aim to
issue week after week, an edition du
luxe. The editor has no desire at this
late day to he conducted through the
lntricacios and nicetics of syntax; he
has no intention Of being initiated into
closer relationship with punctuation !;
nor will lac cease to survive if he docs
not pay more attention TO these critical
Journalists. There is an old saying
that it would be well for these gentry
TO heed, and it runs something like this
''Those who live in crockcry domicilcs
should not toss missiles promiscuously."