The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1887-11-29
From Wednesda 8 Daily.
THANKSGIVING.
How the Day Was First Invented
For What Purpose and a
Few Mild-Mannered
Suggestions.

Auc uaJ lOlIOWiuS IL MTS. uTkey
day.
Every dog has its day, and why
should a turkey not have a day
1t has, and tomorrow is its day.
Thanksgiving is got up for the pur-
pose of allowing the president and
governors to spread themselves little
on morality and gratitude, which they
never miss an opportunity of doing by
proclamation.
Thanksgiving comes OH Thursday !,
and Friday was the day the anarch-
lists were hung. The laborer gets the
best of the capatailist by demanding
his money on Saturday night.
Sunday is the Lords day by common
usage, common consent, respect to
the Giver of all Good, and by order
of Deacon Simeon Dinwiddle, the
saint of the west end, and Monday
morning Judge Levens gets his work
in without fear, favor or affection.
30 you see there is time for all
things except living with your mother
in-'aw.
The American people have become
so inquisltive of late that they want
to know why things that are, are,
and how they come 80. 1t costs q
newspaper man great deal of money
and number of mixed drinks TO &C
quire this information for the people
now on earth. So a great many will
want to know how Thanksgiving
day came into use.
The BAzoo gives information free
to saints and sinners, alike, so here
goes
Thanksgiving is Mayfower which
blossoms in November, and is quite
variety at this time of the year, and
only fourishes tomorrow.
A great many years ago, before
Georgetown was discovered by Chris.
Columbus, and before Gus. Lamy was
on a jury. highly respectable party
Of ladies and gentlemen, English,
quite English, you know" concluded
to worship God after their own mind,
and wear bustles to suit their shape,
and find place where they could
have more room on the GROUND floor,
and cheaper rent. So they came to
the United States and arrived at
Plymouth Rock in a frst-class snow
storm, which had been got up ex-
pressly for their benefit and in honor
of the occasion.
Latour took photograph of them
as they landed, and every spelling
book now has life size chrome of the
landing of the Pilgrims. As Latour
was the artist, he is left out of the
chrome, by courtesy.
For which, dear children, you GER
tainly should feel grateful, as it is the
most accurate picture of hunting
party out of meat in a snow storm.
Ever since Hinsdale bought mules for
West India niggers to beat to death
with sugar canes.
The big tall man with his hat in
one hand and drawn sword in the 9TH
er is Miles Standish.
The woman you see bumped up
over the poor fire of a few faggots
with the toothache is Mrs. Standish.
who has just returned from the Nash
vile w. G.. 7. u. hen convention.
The Indian you see peeping out
from behind that tree with bow and
arrow is Chief Colorow, who is look
ing for dark bay mule, which he
thinks might have strayed that way.
The whole picture is very accurate.
The only thing omitted is the scene
of Joe Peltier's arrival in St. Louis,
when he escorted Bob DeGarmo to
the headquarters of the G.. A. r.
Thankfulness means gratitude, and
on tomorrow everybody feels grateful,
except a mule, a bald-headed thief
and the man who desired to 60 to
Moberly on the 1910 a. m. train and
got left.
We have always noticed that on
Thanksgiving day the wind gets into
the north, and a telegram from Louis
lana informs us that there is a terrible
blast from the north, even there, and
the geese which have gone there to
winter, are passing boycott resolutions
because they cannot have it all their
own way.
Thanksgiving is day when every
ones kirsfolks get together and go
and eat dinner with the old man, and
the liveliest girl in the house on that
day is your mother-in-law. Look
out
When you gather around the hos
pitable board tomorrow, it would be
well to think how many of you will
ever return to it. 1t would be well,
therefore, to skip the overture, and
work right down into the three acts of