The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-10-09

since a would-be purchaser unQuestionably I'M
presents the same effect upon her own figure, he
she young old, fat or lean as IL docs upon thas
of tho shapely. and, may add, generally good
looking shop-girl
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A Frivolous Remss~
New York Commercial Advert User.
Miss Phelps. the author Of Gates Ajar," has
written third book on the celestial gate theory.
When she dies, probably tho first s-'utation she
will receive in the summer la DO, "Wle
gents, Elizabeth ,"
Her Father-Younc man. do not object tor
your calling occasionally on my daughter. busi
you mustn't stay so late. 1t was IL o'clock last
night before you got away.
Young Man-"Got away" is very good, sir. l
either had to stay or get my coat torn
Resentine an Insult
Rev York sun.
Uncle Rastus ito lawyer)-Kin / git er man
Lawyer-Well, yes, Uncle Rastus; to call
man thief may be iibeous. Who was the mani
Uncle Rastus-Hit wah de man dat / done.
stole dc ham frun sab.
A Kinder Horse Never Lived.
New York Star.
Passenger on front platform-That nigh one<
looks like pretty good horse.
Driver-A kinder animal never lived.
Passenger-Kind! How SO?
Driyer-He kinder bites, and kinder kicks,
and kinder wants to run once in awhile
An Awful Possibility.
Omah a Editor-Wha.'s that surprises you soFH
Wife-A most remarkable thing IN this paper.
It says that the widow Of an editor in Shawnee,
o.. still conducts the paper, and says that herT
husbands spirit directs her.
Great Scott! Are editors never to have any
restP
won't Have q Show.
1t was very late and Brown was steering Rob.
What will you say to your wifel" Browf
Not thie) word,' said Robinson.
II won't have a (hic) chance"
The Ruling Passion.
His life was fast ebbing away. and his mind
BILL" he muttered. ''hold her MP high. an let
her drop hard: she's checked for Saratoga"
John" whispered his wife, do you hear
But the old baegase-master lay dead.
Behind tho Times.
Mrs Highmind-I suppose you 60 to churchl
New Nurse Girl-Oh, yes, ma'am; every Sun.
Mrs. H.-what texts does your minister
choose. mostlya
N. N. G.-Ineyre all from the BlOle.
Mrs. HI see; one of those old-fashioned
preachers.
''You look particularly happy nowadays.
Jack"
charmingly toward me-"
How is thatP"
well. she's candidate, you know, and I
haven't promised her my vote yet"
--
Texas sftings.
Mrs Waldo. of Boston (who is entertaining
young Mr. Wabash, of Chicaeo)-I have q treat
for you to-day, Mr.. Wabash. in the way of some
broiled bivalves. My husband is very fond OF
them.
Young Mr.. Wabash Trying one)-zThey are
certainly delicious Mrs. Waldo. They taste
something like oysters.
He Was Well or
Detroit Free Press.
tn. other day. you speak Of Mr. Smith being
well off. Is he worth $1,000"
'.No, sah."
mo, sab; he ha!nt wouf $25."
'Then bow is he well oft"
SCOT wife who sports do hull family. sah.'
The Prayer of a Five-Ye.r-old.
Omaha World
Mamma-There, now. stop chattering and say
Billse-Make sister shut MP, SO can. Say,
mamma, can
II told you to stop talking"
81 know Can you"
''Say your prayers
Eyes. I'm going to. Now 1aymedowntos!eep
Iprayth' Lordmy soultokeep Observation-Disclosures
wake Iprayth' Lordmy OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. can
you move your earsl'
Growing Cautious.
Detroit Free Press.
A Detroit peddler of tinware took ont some egg-
beaters on his last trip and as the price was only
fifteen cents each. and they worked on . new
principle, he calculated on big sales HIS frat
experience will answer for all others. He drove
up to farm house in the western part of Wayne
county and took beaten in to exhibit. The
people liked it exceedingly well, but the old i
farmer said:
young man, I want to see your patent"
81 have none.o