davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Trials Of u Consul.

A young fellow, writes an attache to
an American consulate in England, un-
mistakably Bowery boy, staggered in
and demanded to be sent home, found
he had no claim, and denied him. He
was persistent, and finally insolent, and
told me he knew the ropes well; that he
was too fly for me; that he knew ''de
Government give me $500 year to send
de boys home, and I didn't send 'em to
swag de tin" I called the bouncer,
necessary appendage to seaport con-
sulate, for whom the Government ought
to make an appropriation, and had him
thrown out. But he was the arant gajgle
of an army. Within two hours five
fellows, one after another, and, with cum
ming effrontery, or insolencc, according
to their natures, informed me that they
knew all about it; that the fewer sent
to the States, the more money Imadc, and
that I had better not carry it too far.
This was getting interesting, and the
next applicant for part of the hoard that
l was robbing the poor of was closely
questioned. After long and searching
inquiry l found that an old sailor whom
I had the day before refused sixpence
for beer was buttonholing every old cast
away and beach conner on the quays and
saying: "Go to the Yankee Consul if you
want soft berth. He gets lot of
money to send poor fellows to the States,
and he's pocketing most of it; but if
you shove him hard enough he's bound to
send you" This was an ingenious venge-
ancc, wasn't it2 And it gave me
trouble for months. Indeed, after
year "Boston boy" as he, with visible
swelling, informed me, seemed utterly
heart broken that he had been misin-
formed in the streets about his chances
of getting home. He earnestly begged
shilling to get some supper, which I
gave him. He left me, and, as l acci-
dentally noticed through the window,
Joined particularly indurated old she'll
back. So 1 followed them, and, as l
supposed, they sought the first bar. l
went after them and quietly demanded
my shilling back, under pain of prosecu-
tion for obtaining money under false
pretenses; but the Boston boy noncha-
lantIy informed me that he was being
treated by the other fellow, and that my
shilling was safe in his pocket, where it
should remain. While I was hunting a
policeman he got away.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
A Straw Hat Flavor.

Little Nellie, five years old, went tc
walk on Sunday afternoon with her par.
ents. The party strolled along the bank
of the reservoir, concerning the use Of
which Nellie asked many questions.
While they were there they witnessed an
exciting episode-a small boys straw
hat was blown off his head into the res
ervoir and fished out with no little diff
Guilty with the aid of long pole.
That evening at supper, as Nellie was
drinking water from a glass, she asked
'sIs this water the same as the water
up in the reservoir"
"Yes dear"
Nellie smacked her lips in an expert
mental way, and with slight expression
(i displeasure.
"Well," she said, 81 think it tastes
some of straw hat!"-Boston Transcript.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Rut He Is. Now,

Mr.. Staylate has Eeen entertaining Miss
Lila with an account of the doings of the
Kit Carson Rifle Club, and is just enter
ing upon the preface to the introduction
of tho ninth chapter of the second vol
ume.
Miss Lila with weary but heroic in
tcrcst.-"And you are a good shot, MIR.
Staylatc9"
Mr.. Staylate (modestly).-"Well, raw
thcr; they do say that yours truly spolls
the bulls eye every time he draws a
bead"
Miss Lila.-"I should think you would
make q splendid target. (Appailed
silence of an interrogatory naturc). Be
cause you never would be missed"
And after that, like a good smooth
bore, lie went Brooklyn Eagle.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
PulUue Plants.

Interesting examples of the a9ave
Americana, the variety of the century
plant from which pullue is made, are to
be seen in the windows Of Boston store.
These plants, says the Boston Her"ld, arc
but infants, however; in Mexico they
grow to enormous size, something like
eight to ten feet high, and the flower
stalk. with its clusters OF beautiful pure
white blossoms. shoots up to height OF
twelve to fifteen feet. The plant bios
SONS when seven years old, or so ; that's,
if let alone. On the pulque plantations
it is NOT permitted to blossom; when the
flower stalk begins to form it is cut away
and large, cuplikc cavity made into
the soft heart Of the plant, which fills
with the sap and is emptied once or twice
day. This sap, fermented, forms the
popu'ar Mexican beverage called pulque
pronounced pull-keh).
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Facts About New York.

There are fifteen cemeteries near New
York city.
There are eleven District Courts in the
metropolis.
Two hundred and thirty-fve railroad
companies have offices here.
The Hebrew residents of this city wor-
ship in thirty-two synagogues.
The colored population of the city
have six charches in which to worship. .
There are twenty-four colleges and
theological seminaries in New York.
The Commissioners of Charities and
Correction have ten hospitals under their
care.
There are forty-three life and eleven
marine insurance companies on Manhat-
tan Island.
Seventy-seven fire insurance companies
offer opportunities to guard against loss
of local conhagration.
The General Postoiice is open at all
hours except on Sundays, when it Is
open only between and II A. N.
There are thirty-five precinct station
houses, with several sub-sta ions, for the
reception of the city's wrong-doers.
Medical institutions, colleges and So
cicties, to the number of twenty-five,
abound in this city, and there are forty
six dispensaries.
The local mail is collected twelve times
day, and is distributed eight times.
On Sundays three collections and no de-
liveries are made.
1t is dangerous to carry big sums OF
money around in New York, and there
are forty-nine national and twenty-five
savings banks in the city that will care
for it.-NeW York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
THE ELEVENTH HOUR

Even at the eleventh hour
Hastel Haste
Gird up the remnant of thy power
Ere it too run to waste.
On with thine armor, swift, and braced
For conflict, let thy brave strokes sound
Till victory is found
Even at the eleventh hourl
Mind not the sinking sun,
Nor wait
To cry alas! DER fields unwon.
lis late-ah, true.-'tis late!
But make this hour the hour of Fate.
Since Time, no sun has ever yet
On noble purpose set,
And Gods work thrives, tho late begun.
Behold tn appointed time
Is now!
For good the day is at its prime,
And, though thou know'st not how,
God marks the burrows of thy plow.
Believe. All strife shall end in peace
When doubts and questionings cease.
Sow thou, and wait with faith sublime.
Thomas II. Nuzzey.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Old California Hotels.

"I was in California during the STIR
ring days of 1851-2," said an old, tall,
lank minstrel man who had been in Aus
tralia for the last twenty years, and who
recently returned to this country to die,
being afflicted with an incurable disease.
II was fourteen years old or so," he went
on to a reporter of the Syracuse Stand
ard, "and a hanger-on at my uncle's
mining camp. We ran into San Fran
cisco frequently, and 1 shall never forget
the attractions which two rival hotels Of
fered to the public to eclipse the others
patronage. One of them was known as
the Clean Shirt and the other as the
Golden Eagle. The Clean Shirt started
with small, one-horse brass band con-
cert on the balcony every evening, and
drew big crowds, including about all
the Golden Eagles guests. Pretty
soon, however, the Clean Shirt be-
ban to lose its boarders by the
score without any apparent cause. The
proprietor enlarged his brass band and
polished up his bar without effect. 1t
didn't take him long to find out that the
Golden Eagle was having nightly cock
ing mains and dogfghts for the exclusive
benefit of her guests. Then the Clean
Shirt got back part of its custom by in
PRODUCING private prize fights and slug
ging matches. It's fact, gentlemen,
that when miners and others had personal
differences to settle they used to offer
their services to the proprietor of the
Clean Shirt, who paid we'll for fight,
the money going to the winner. Of course
these exhibition were given in private
quarters, and none but guests and their
friends were admitted. The Golden
Eagle next enhanced its attractlveness
by knocking ont one end of the dining
room and building on stage and green
room and other like accessories, and had
variety performances at every meal,
Women were scarce in that part
of the country, and the Golden
Eagles half-dozen serio-comics, who
came on from the Lord knows
where, proved great card, a better one
than the Clean Shirt, with all its in.
genuity, could play. One day, however,
desperate went into the Clean Shirt
and shot a bartender, phenomenon
which made it famous and placed it far
ahead of the Golden Eagle in the cstima-
ton of the travelling public. But the
proprietor of the Eagle was an ingenious,
enterprising cuss and saw his oppor-
tunity. He headed gang which went out
and captured the murderer, and, bring
ing him back, strung him up on the
dining room stage one evening at supper,
and all the guests, transient and per.
manent, were accorded the privilege Of
firing their revolvers at his dangling
body. That was great day for Golden
Eagle. One shot accidentally went
through the head of waiter, and the
entertainment far exceeded the pro-
prietor's most sanguinc expectations"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Shaving Dead Men.

GIVE been paid as high as $40, and
never less than S., for shaving dead
men, said Chicago barber to an Inter-
Oceau reporter. "That is the regular
price and l won't take less"
"a funny thing happened once when l
was working in Pittsburg, Pa. One
night a rich iron man died on Oakland
avenue, and colored barber went to fix
him up. When he had shaved one side
of the face it was necessary to turn the
corpse over. I suppose there was some
air in the lungs, but anyway, When lie
turned him over, the corpse gave an
awful groan. The barber dropped the
razor and let out yell that brought the
whole household to the spot on the run.
Before anybody got there the barber was
out of the house and down the avenue as
if the odd boy was after him, and at
every jump he let out screech when
one Of the men went into the room he
saw the razor and nearly half of the left
ear of the corpse lying on the floor. The
razor had just happened to strike it
when the barber dropped it and ran.
A doctor was sent for, who sewed the
ear on, and then he sent for me. |
finished shaving the man, and left the
house with crisp $40 bill in my
pocket"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
The Worlds Largest Cities.

The following information, says the
Pull Null Gazette, is often inquired for,
and, as it may be useful in many cases
for reference, we have complied a table
of the largest cities of the. world, with
their populations as stated by the latest
authorities. In the absence of any official
census the Chinese cities have simply to
be estimated, and of course must be ac-
ceptcd as m approximation only. We
have not given any city whose population
is below 500, 900, though there are many
we could cnumerate which closely ap-
proach that figure. 1t will be seen that
in the thirty-five cities tabulated below
there are 32,51O,319 souls, or nearly the
population of the British Isles, fact
which cannot be grasped in moment by
anv ordinary intellect:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

"Any man in a wagon selling brass
jewelry".
"Guess notI'
"No fire anywhere in town9"
EMO"
"No pools being sold anywhere on
some race-horse, or trial going on in JUS
tice court?"
"Not any"
"No man selling medicine on the
street, no circus bills just pasted up any
where, no woman walking tight ropeS"
"Not onc."
"Well, that's peculiar-I can't see
where John can be-"
There's couple of Frenchmen with
tame cinnamon bear down on Phillips
avenue, madam"
"That's it, that's it didn't think to
ask about tame bears! While the pota-
toes are getting cold as stone he is
down there making up purse of seven
ty-fve cents to see the bear climb tele-
graph polel I'll go right down-you
watch and see if he isn't up to the house
inside ten minutes. !"-Dakota Bell.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
POPULAR SCIENCE.

A shoemaker in Bingen has invented
water -velocipede, with which he has
made successful trial trips.
A successful attempt to make photo
graph of a sunrise from the summit of
Pixies Peak has been made by C. F. Sny.
der, member of the Signal Corps.
Tidal observations on the eastern coast
of America have acquired new impor-
tance since the Colst Survey has confirmed
by recent observations the older sugges-
tion that there are tidal fuxes in the Gulf
Stream.
An inclination of one inch in fifteen
miles is sufficient to give motion to wa
ter. An inclination of three inches per
mile in a straight smooth channel will
give a velocity of three miles per hour,
while three feet per mile would produce
torrent
An apparatus of iron and glass in
which pressure of 1000 atmospheres
can be developed for the purpose Of.
studying the influence of great pressure
on animal life has been exhibited to bi
ologists in France. With it deep.sea ami
mails can be observed under their natural
compression.
White is usually defined as a combina-
tion of all .colors, and black as the abb
sence of color. Speaking accurately, an
object is white when it throws back all
the rays of the light, and black when it
absorbs all. A blue object absorbs all
rays except the blue, which it reflects,
red object reflects the red rays only, and
so on through all the colors and their
combinations.
The fact is noted that, in climates hav-
ing difference of seventy degrees in
temperature between the hot and cold
seasons, q railroad track of the length OF
400 miles is some 33S yards longer in
summer than in winter; that is, though
of course the length of road remains the
same, expansion forces the metal closer
together, making an aggregate closingup
of space between the rails of nearly yard
in each mile.
Some attention has been directed Of
late to the phenomenon, as observed, that
the usual heat produced by friction is
conspicuous by its absence when the ar.
ticles are magnetized. An example OF
this kind, as described, is where work
man fastened couple of powerful mag
nets to his lathe to hold more securely q
piece of metal which he was to drill and
turn, the presence of the magnets kept the
metal so cold that no water was needed to
keep the drill moist.
Professor Harvey W. Wiley has been
long in the employ of the Agricultural
Department at Washington, endeavoring
to master the whole subject of sugar from
sorghum. He concludes that the forma-
tion of sucrose by the plant is only an ac-
cidental or advantitious process, and only
occurs from waste material. He concludes
from this fact that sugar from sorghum
will never be an industry that anyone
can long engage in, as the results will be
moreor less accidental. Sometimes plants
may yield good percentage of sugar, at
other times none at all.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
The Smell Of Paper Money.

In speaking of a recent deSalcation at
the Troy pos:otfice, il gentleman said:
ut is never safe to inclosc an old bill in
an envelope to be sent by mail. Why"
said he 'men who are experts can tell
whether letter contains money or not
simply by thc sense of smell. Ifyou will
notice an old greenback, it has peculiar
smell about it that can readily be per-
ceived, even if It be inciosed within letter.
It is better to send registered letter or
postal note, or, if you iAclose a bill, be
sure it is new one. That will not SMELL y
-AlJaHy JvuIm0l.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Anything But Cabbage.

At the recent entertainment of the
Elks in this city a small boy showed up
for dinner, without either of his parents,
who were stopping at the house.
"What will you have for dinnera'
asked the colored waiter as he placed a
bill of fare before the small guest.
The infant looked it over for moment,
then run a cheerfully dirty forefnger
through the entire list.
Bring it ALL" he said in tone of au-
thority, "cept cabbage. Cabbage allus
makes me sick, an l promised mann
wouldn't get sick this trip, nowhow. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Muzzling the OK.

APortland lMainej man who employed
a number of small boys as berrypickers
was much afraid they would be dcvoured
by mosouitocs. and induced them to wear
netting over their faces. contrivance
which they adopted with gratitude in
thciy hearts until they discovered that
there were no mosquitoes to be seen, but
that the netting also prescribed berry
cating.s Then the infants made concen-
trated kick for freedom, and got there.
-Rost3n P!st
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
No Good.

Barber (expatiating on matters and
things in generaD-"Colonel Jaggers is q
gentleman and if he is not in the Legis.
lature next year it'll be because he doesn't
want to CO."
Victim Qanguidly)-'I have heard
McReilly mentioned"
Barber (contemptuously)-Pooh! Nc
Reilly! Beg pardon, sir, but he's alb
solutely no good"
Victim with erest)-"Hasn't been
doing anything wrong, has he2"
Barber with cutting scorn -"He
shaves himself, sir!"-Philadelphia Call
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

on the trigger. The Apache in a trap
concluded to make bold break, and
sprang from behind the stump on the op-
posite side to the band. That was just
where jeff expected him to appear, and
he hadn't got three feet from the stump
when the Winchester cracked. The
Apache bounded into the air and pitched
forward upon his head with hole clear
through his body.
That ended the siege, and the six live
Indians FASTENED out Of the neighbor-
hood, one with broken shoulder, taking
one scalp and leaving three unhandsome
corpses as the result Of their raid on jeff
SIMPSONS ranch.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
The Milkman's Cold Nerve.

"Talk about man with an eye to
business" remarked st. Paul imam,
"thcre is milkman IN the Sanity City
who puts them all to sleep. I have been
taking milk from him for some time. A
few days ago l discovered. a fish in the
tactical fluid. The next morning in
formed him of the fact. :.
"'Is that so?" unconcerncdly remarked
the dispenser of milk as he jingled his
bell and drove away"
The next day he astounded me by
presenting the following bill:
--, in acct. with
Chalk Water dealer in pure milk.
To lb. fish. Sh...................... ..l2c.
Reed pay't.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
A Fishing Excursion - Unevenly
Matched-No Good-Everything
but Cabbage Nothing
Like O Boom, Etc.

"My dear girl" said fond father to
his daughter, "surely you're not going
to take all those trunks to Saratoga with
you?'
"Yes, papa, every one, and they are few
enough"
''But what in the world have you got
got in emI"
"Bait, papa" answered the dear girl
brightly. .-NeW York San.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24
Uneycnly Matched.

Irate Customer-"Won't trust me for
pound of butter? Won't trust me, eh?
Ill-Tll-"
Big Grccer-"See here, if you want to
fight about it, just off with your coat"
''Oh, well, when it comes to that, a
fight in this store wouldn't be an even
thing, you know"
ooh, it Wouldn't"
mo; you've got your butter to back
you. Omaha World.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

"T didn't see the fish, said he, 'but
guess that's near enough. ."-NinneapottS
Journal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

There is abundant PROOF that human
lifc is Heightened with the development
of the arts of civilization.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

Happiness is not perfected until it
shared.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-08-24

To 10. fish. ............
Reed pay't.
The river press., 1887-02-02
The Fuel Question.

The question of fuel supply for Fort
Benton is becoming most serious. The
present winter is the second one in seven
years when the supply has fallen short of
the demand In 1880-81 there was abso-
lutely no fuel in town, except what was
owned by the government. Permission
was given Col. Moale, the commanding
officer, to issue fuel in small quantities to
our citizens, taking a receipt for the same.
Some families were obliged to burn sage
brush, and one instance was known
where poor woman was burning her fur
niture. Tue county commissioners be-
came responsible when fuel was issued
10 the deserving poor. The present win
ter while the cold has not been so intense
nor the suffering so great the price of fuel
is above the reach of many people.
Ranchmen on the Teton are bringing will
low poles to town and disposing of them
readily at from 81 to $12 a load, while in
ferior cottonwood is offered at $l4 a cord.
TO the credit Of Messrs. Collins and
Browne the wood held by them was not
raised in price and as long us it lasted
was sold at IS per cord.
This state of things should never have
been allowed to exist. 1t works more in
jury to a town than any thing else, for the
word goes out that one of the most essen
rial articles in the household economy is
at price beyond the reach of most people,
and intending settlers, when made aware
of this fact, will steer clear of any locality
where such state of things exist. How
ever, the railroad will put an end to the
fuel famnes and outrageous prices for
that article, and when we pull through
this winter the end to that sort of thing at
least will be at hand.
The river press., 1887-02-02

thing of value is bet, ventured or hazard
ed on the result of the game, in any room
or apartment which fronts upon any street
or public highway, or upon any floor
which is not at least eight feet aboye the
surrounding ground, or established street
grade.
Sec. 2. Thatany person or persons vio-
lating section one, of this acr. shall be adj
judged guilty of misdemeanor, and fined
for the first offense not less than ,went7-
five dollars or more than one hundred
dollars, and thereafter not less than fifty
dollars nor more than one hundred dol
lars for each offense and imprisonment in
the county jail NOT toexceed three months.
Sec. 8. All moneys collected for fires
under this act shall be paid into the school
fund of the county where the otfense is
committed.
Sec. 4. All acts. OF parts of acts, in
conflict with this act, are hereby repealed.