The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1887-04-09
BowsER AND THE BABY.

A"'t tiiil WI DOWS6I anu 10 nOJ OK
actly agree as to how baby should be
brought up. l think he is very UNI
reasonable father in various instances.
He came home one day when baby was
only three months old and found him
crying
Mrs. Bowser, that babys got
corns!' exclaimed Mr.. Bowser, as he
hung up his hat.
"Corns?n
Yes, cons! You act as if you never
heard of corns. Put him down while l
examine his feet"
"The ideal Who ever heard of a
baby three months old having cornsP"
There's a good deal in this world
you never heard of, Mrs. Bowser. Put
the young'un down"
He examined the baby's feet, pulled
his toes apart, and of course he didn' t
find any cOrns. | knew he wouldn't.
'Then what is he bawling aboutP"
he persisted.
babies always cry more or less"
''They do, ehP Well, if this one
doesn't cry less I'll find some way to
make him! l shall hold him response
bic from this day out"
Our baby had the hives, as every
other baby has. Mr.. Bowser came
home and found me holding the child
and mother preparing some warm
drink. There were the blotches and
pimples, but baby wasn't even fretting.
whats the matter of that young
monkey now?" demanded Mr.. Bowser,
as he caught sight of the pimples.
"Only the hives, my dear"
"Only! Have you had the doctorP"
+'Why, no, There is no need of a
doctor"
isn't there! Mrs. Bowser, that may
be hives, and it may be smallpox! 1t
looks more like the latter disease to me.
If that young un has gone and brought
the smallpox into this house l warn
him to look out for himself! I'm low
ing husband and fond father and all
that, but propose to draw line with
my children. | shall draw it at small
poX.
"Mr. Bowser" said my mother, ''you
should not get unduly excited. This
is only case of the hives. This child
has yet to go through with measles,
chicken-poX, whoOping-cough and
several other kindred diseases or all
ments.
HE has, Ell! He proposes to keep
this house upset for the next eight or
ten years, does he? Never! I'll lug
him out this very night and lay him OIL
somebody's doorstep
Baby was five months old before Mr..
Bowser suddenly discovered that he
was bald-headed. He was holding the
---SHild at the time, and he rolled him
into the crib and called ME from the
foot of the stairs:
"Mrs. Bowser, for Heavens sake
come down here rs fast as you can't
"What is it?'' l asked as l hurried
down.
"Why, this internal young un's bald
headed"
"Is that alp Why, thought yol
mad dropped him."
lis that all! Isn't that enough? HI
might as well die at once. Think o
the ridicule that will be heaped upol
my child from the very hour he is abb,
to toddle to the door! Grown people
will take him for some little old MAJ
who was sawed off for a dwarf, an,
children will yell: 'Bald-headed Bow
serr at him. Imagine our feelings a
we hear the street gamins shout 'Ol,
Bowser, where's your bald-headr An,
it has come to this!"
"Give the baby chance, my dear.
'Chance! Chance! Haven't l Civ,
him every possible show since he wa
born? Hasen't he been the direc
and only cause of my losing fiftee
pounds weight in four monthsP"
But his hair will come out, He
have a good head of hair when he's
year old. "
"Oh, he will! Yes, if he know
what's good for him he will. He's m
child, of course have got the feelin
of father, but sooner than have hir
grow up bald-head, I'd abandon an
disown him.
One day soon after / found baby
scalp red and irritated. and the coo
informed me that she saw Mr.. BowsG
fussing around the crib. called hil
in from the back yard and charged hil
with sinister designs, and l know frol
his guilty manners that he had bee
trying some of his nostrums warrante
to make hair grow.
On another occasion, when l W;
giving baby a bath, Mr.. Bowser hal
pened in, and it wasn't a minute b
fore Mr.. Bowser had made up h
mind that the childs feet were tC
large.
Nonsense, Mr.. Bowser! His feet a.