The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-02-17
SESTABLISHED IN
/ MARCH, 1S47.
THE MERRY SIDE I

Turpie for old man Payne.
| A writer on morals asks "what shall we do
| with our boys Set them to work.
There may be lots of glory in being Governor
| of Ohio-but there's very little money.
Jem Smith, of England, is coming over to
whip John Sullivan Thank you, Mr.. Smith!
Love is too often thing for young couples
to blubber about-and older couples to laugh
about.
Dom Piatt has finished his most fiendish
plot. He has written book of memories of
the
The war fever has about died out-and the
Canucks are regaining the natural color about
the giIls.
The U. S. Navy Department experienced a
"squsll" a few days ago. There's new baby
at Whitney's.
Cincinnati has police detachment styled
always full.
Findlay, Ohio, having struck several heavily
flowing gas-wells, now proposes to start new
Democratic paper.
fellow who has the boniest team always knows
most about horses.
The "cow-boys" always were wild set. Even
Abram and Lot, on the plains of Jordan, had
trouble with them.
A baby was born in a Cincinnati Engine
House one evening last week. 1t was "reel'
surprise to the firemen.
Never make up your mind without investi-
cation. 1t is not always the prettiest melons
that have the sweetest core.
"Ah, poor soul !" said Aunt Sary, as Jimmy
was coughing violently, "Im afeard they's an
ABSENCE formed on his lungs.
''The ayes have it p' said the Speaker of the
Indiana Legislature, rs the Re epublican side
came up with both eyes blacked.
81 have mission to save the world !" shouted
the Evangelist. "Better git a bar o. soap am
save yerseif!' shouted a all boy.
"a
Joe Howard was prevented from giving Joe
Pulitzer thrashing by losing his eyeglasses
Pulitzer knocked them off with his fist.
An exchange says "Bibies are to be placed in
the Richland County Inf1rmary." Going to
ieeu lueIu Oh IOOu, perhaps.
=.
Many a young man will go into ecstacies over
the charms of young lady-then give them all
up for nasty, greasy old pack of cards.
+.#
Francis Murphy made his farewell appear
ance in Cincinnati,' says an exchange. Did
the Gospel take its leave at the same time?
A Democl attic pape~ says Manning is in hot
Toll f,rpi h =, ,icIyx
and his Democracy may be happy after all.
Little boy, reading-"WhaI do they put in
these notices not to hunt or shoot on the farms
for?"
Dude brother-"Aw, it shocks the Gavin SO,
don't ye see."
Boynton has raved about Grant and Logan
until it has come to be serious question as to
whether Grant was drunk, or Boynton is drunk.
-
Faith and works should go together. A loud
profession without the living testimony, is like
sign without hotel-a monumental lie.
-
The war with Canada seems to have COM
menced-as Montreal dispatches say that
american thieves foraging heavily in that
city.
An old Cincinnati man who tried to kill his
son was said to have been "carried away by
anger" He was brought back by policeman.
''Ah, tell you that's good mani" said the
enthusiast. "Why?. because he is so fine
looking" THE same might be said of mulel
A Methodist preacher out west, in his entusi
asm over an altar service, shouted "Oh, the
fire is burning about the altar !' Every sinner
got up and lit out
Boys, you can shave lots of fun" by being
wild-but remember that when your fun's over
you'll be gray, and broken, and prematurely
old.
The minister warned the young men that
they might "leave that house only to go to
hell.' Some of them went into the nearest
doggery.
Tue Californians are trying by law to get the
poison out of the whisky. That would be a
good deal like takiug the inside out of the oyster
and eating the shell.
medical advert isement says ait is sad
sight to see strong man stricken down by
consumption" Yes, but it's good deal sadder
one to see him see him stricken down by dog
leg whisky.
John w. Vint, OF Indiana, ran away with the
servant girl but his wife is praying for bless
ings upon him. He left the poor bereaved
woman all the property.
An Ohio burglar sat up all night, and worked |
for four hours breaking into a safe-to find
tract headed "What Friend We Have in
Jesus"
There is said to have been several applica-
ton to the Governor of Ohio for Commissions
to raise troops fol- the Canadian war. Why not
organize corps of Brigader Generals?
The Gospel Temperance movement has ac-
complished one good result ii has made men |
expound the beauties of the Gospel of Christ |
who had almost forgotten His history.
Tho fact that the tramps who travel with |
perfol ming bears all pass themselves off as
natives OF a far-off desert, shows that they |
have great respect for this country.
John Baker, of Ashe county, N. c., said he
could not live any longer without duel with
DR.. Baker. The result showed that he could |
not live any longer with one, for Baker shot
him through the head and killed him.
Won Moltke, in an interview with Ameri-
can, said that "Grant was one of the greatest |
soldiers that eve: lived" The old fellow per-
haps thought he was conveying news. Why,
Van, America is peopled with just such
soldiers.
Ex-senator Kellogg some years ago traded
team of horses for piece of land in Omaha,
and realized three hundred thousand dollars |
from the two horses. And many a man has |
been bankrupted by owning team of horses.
-"
1t is said that coored man living in South |
Carolina, has just learned that he is free. He |
has been working for his old master ever since |
the war. What an excellent member of the |
Democratic party that colored man would |
make!