The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-01-05
Regulating the Elephant.

Regulating the Elephant.
Everybody had heard that the great
elephant was loose, and several families
whose gardens he had torn up and whose
boys he had trampled upon, were sure Of
it. There was great excitement, and the
town held meeting to decide what
should be done. They did not want to.
exterminate him; in fact, many OF them
did not believe that they could c1ter-
inmate him, for he was pretty big cle-
phant. Besides, he was useful in Lis
proper placc-in shows, in India, and in
story-books.
sour best plan is to try and regulate.
him." said IN enthusiastic speaker.
"Let US build toll gates along the route
we find he is going to take, and make
him pay" 3. -: =
eyes, but that leaves him roaming.
round" shrieked an old woman. stAnd
I don't want my boy killed"
"Keep your boy away from him; that's
your business. Why, madam, don't you
know that an elephants hide and tusks
are valuable for mechanical and surgical
purposes, and that he is useful in India7
Besides, there's the toll he will pay. We
shall by this means get money enough
into the public treasury to build schools
for a good many boys who are not tram
pied to death" 49, =. -, >,
"That's the plan. Regulate himl
Regulate himl" shouted the crowd.
So they appointed great many COM
mittees, and drafted constitutions and
bylaws, and circulated petitions, and by
the time the elephant had killed several
more boys and trampled down quanti-z
ty of gardens, they had erected very
comfortable toll,houscs for the gate.
keepers and gates for the elephant; and
then they waited with great satisfaction
to see the animal resulated. 49,. s.
:. Slowly the great feet tramped onward;
slowly the great proboscis appeared in
view; and, with sniff of contempt, the
elephant lifted the gate from its hinges
snd walked of with it, while the crowd
started after him in dismay. t.l
"Well!" exclaimed the keeper, catch
ing his breath; eve haven't made much
money so far, but the regulation plan.
would have been frst-rate if the elephant
hadn't been leetle stronger than the
obstruction" The elephants name was,
whisky.-K. O.. r q
The Saloon Power. = (
A contributor to the Citizen, of Boston,
writes: ..-e. -
San inoffensive and upright clergy
man was appointed to an Office within
whose function lay the gift of several
minor appointments. The saloon at once
confronted the astonished Office holder
with its dicta and its threats.
"T shall do what is best for the State
he replied to the disciples of DOODLE
DO as we say, or we will make it hot for
you in the newspapers; we'll show up a
scandal 'But there is nothin to show
up we can find somethlng,' was the
grim threat. IL -. .
"No wonder that, with corruption
Kissing and seething to the surface, in all
our great cities, thoughtful men have
trcmbled not only for municipalities, but
for the foundations of the republic, and
that men morally sensitive have drawn
back from the awful maelstrom of poll
tics. goo
'Whatever may be thought of it in
any other relation, as school of politics
the sa oon much 60, or the republic itself
must become its football. Civics must
help throttle its influence by Illuminating
the path of purer politics and better
citizenship. Already taught by patriotic
and clear thinkers, there is manifested an
earnest effort to burst asunder the bands
that have held the Samson of party poll
tics bound down to tho dreary mill OF
this Philistine."
But One Remedy.