The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-03-03
THE MERRY SlDEI

We fear a sympathetic public is losing faith
in the gallows route to glory.
A distillery at Butler KY, was destroyed by
fire. Gone to meet his victims.
s.&
A city paper says "John w. Bookwalter is
out of politics" When was he in?
-
Ironton has a "Ben. Wade Club:' The Demo-
Gratis dodge every time it is mentioned.
-
A Cincinnati paper says "the Indiana Demo-
Gratis are losing faith in their party" The very
ideal
A Columbus dispatch says "Bob Kennedy on
deck" Then the Democrats must be under the
matches.
Don't say there is no tenderness in man
until you observe how carefully he picks up
strange baby.
Watterson says sit is safe thing to.be DEM
ocrat." Yes, we havek known some of them who
were very "strong."
Talk about 'a progressive world" when the,
Railroaders have all set their watches back
nearly half an hour.
until the millennium" But he uses strict pro-
hibition among his employees.
Out at Lincoln, Neb the other day, there
was shower of mud. Just think of q place so
lively that it rains real estate!
-
Washington's birthday was not generally cell
ebrated. We're getting so many great men, the
things becoming monotonous.
It's never best to bank on notoriety. Miss
Cleveland is greater as the talented lady than
she was as the Presidents sister.
-.
The President vetoed a bill to furnish seed
for planting in Texas. He perhaps expects the
Denocracy.to live on bunch-grass.
1t takes an Ohio man to go to Birmingham
and make NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. transac-
tions on hundred dollars capital.
young office-seeker who came back from
Washington, declared he had ''gotten an ap-
pointment." A disappointment.
-
"The wheat prospect fattering in Holmes
county" Perhaps they've quit raising butter
nuts, and turned their attention to wheat.
Col. Conger, OF Akron, who has been in Eu-
rope, says, on his return, that he sis proud of
America" He means Ohio.
The Washington dudes kicked against Keifer
as orator at the unveiling of the Garfield statue.
He is accused of having brains.
Times must be: picking up" In Greene county
One hundred and sixty chickens were stolen
in single night there recently.
"You must take cheerful view of things !'
said the backwoods preacher, then talked for
two hours about "hell-fre," and "a groaning
and dying: world"
The Ironton Register tells of the narrow es-
cape of Ed. Massie, of the 91st Ohio, which is
said to have occurred sin Sept. 'S6." Has Ed.
just found 1t out.
1t is recklessly asserted that q man can ac-
tually walk across Fourth street, in Cincinnati
in daylight, uow, without being knocked in the
head and robbed.
Smathers, reading-''The Government is 60
ing TO make guns of immense BoREsv
Ia neighbor lady solemnly got up and walked
out.]
1t is said the ladies of Washington have petit
toned Cleveland to "purify the social atmos-
phere of Washington" He won't do it until
his time iG out.
The Courier-Journal reioices that President
Cleveland has 'been to see Hamlet" He
probably went to look for the ghost of Reform.
Martha TittlerJ has sued man named
John Highly, in Ross county for being the father
of four children. This comes under the head
of trouble in the family.
80
The Ex-Rebels caution the Republicans
against saying anything more about them, as
the country would.need them in the case of a
olign war. But we think the Rebs are the
fellows to be modestly silent.
The fellow who sued Ben. Butler proved
clearly that he was a very pink of loyalty. He
was engaged in manufacturing arms for the
Confederate Government.
1t is said that an Ohio pensioner was cured of
his ailment through: prayer and gave up his
pension certificate. 1t lisa: problem whether it
is a case OF increase .of faith or decrease of
brains.
The Governor of Texas says a Congressional
investigation Of outrages in Texas would itself
be an outrage. Why certainly. Nothing would
merit investigation in State where there is
nothing but tarantulas and Democrats.
So! They won't sell American fishermen any
more bait, won't they? Then let's cut up a few
Canucks, and bait with them. They'd certainly
be strong enough to be attractive.
Charles Mitchell and Jem Smith say they are
going to fight all the good men in the United
States. That's good way to put it to escape a
whaling.
Five bodies recently found in a cave in Da-
kota, are said 10 be dried into respectable num-
mics. Scientific men declare they belong to a
race that existed two Thousand years ago. They
probably ascertained this by counting the
wrinkles.
A Chicago man was determined that a one
thousand-dollar bond should not fall into the
hands of burglars, and just swallowed it! Now
he's trying 10 figure how he can get hold of it
himself.
II is said that Mr.. Montgomery of the Patent
Office will resign to escape the raids of the
office-seekers. The Reform wave struck him
with overwhelming force
-
Gov. Hill. in his Brooklyn speech, boasted of
the wonderful increase in population under
Democratic rule. The actions of the Southern
Democrats before the war gave "color" 10 this
assertion.
An old bachelor declares that when a lady
wears nigh hat with two immense feathers
sticking up like horns, it is an indication of her
temper. She evidently wants to wear the
horns.
Dion Boucicault's daughter tried to read TO
Boston audience, and they attempted to hiss
her down. But she defiantly faced them and
finished her reading. 1t takes something
stronger than baked beans to get away with
Miss Boucicault.