davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
Fire In the water.

The sinking of the big gas well near
the French Camp turnpike calls to mind
the fact that the artesian well in Court
House Square contains gas, although
in small quantities; and this, by nat
ural and just graduation, leads to an
incident which happened before the
Water Works Company went to mix
ing the artesian with other water.
When the artesian was piped the pure
gas went with it; the people didn't
want the gas, but they got it, any
how.
A drunken man staggered into a sa-
loon and called for whisky.
Better take drink of water first. :"
said the smiling barkeeper; lit will
straighten you up"
Alright, Johnnie; fetch 'er outr' he
said
The barkeeper turned the faucet, at
the same time slyly setting fire to the
gas, and let the water run into the sink
while he went for the glass.
The inebriate's eyes opened wide as
he saw the blue flames playing in the
falling stream. He shook. He stood
silent and white. He shook again.
whats the matter?" asked John
ME.
"D-d-d'yer think I'm goin'te swaller
hell fire?''
"FireP He'll fire?-whereP / don't
see any fire."
why, there-right in that w-w-wa-
terri
Jaw, you're crazy! What's the mat
ter with you, man?"
"Holy heavensr' he yelled, jumping
for the door, i've got 'em! Gee Will
ikens, I've got emf
And they picked him off the side
walk and carried him home in an ex-
press wagon Stockton (CGl. Mail
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
They Always Did Ii that Way.

Charley Haskins, of Milwaukee, an
Did telegraph man, was in Europe re-
Gently and he tells some funny stories
about the way the telegraph business is
managed over there. For instance. he
Gied message in an office in London,
and, out Of curiosity, waited to see what
became of it The receiving clerk did
not place the message in little leather
cup and shoot it up the pneumatic tube
TO the operating-room, as the American
receiving clerk does. Instead, he hung
it on a file hook, with number of other
messages, and went on taking in more
messages, placing them on the same
hook. In about half an hour the hook
was full, when the clerk called out 10 a
boy. In five minutes the boy was on
his way up tho stairs TO the operating
room with that bundle of messages. and
be wasn't in very much of a hurry,
either. No wonder Mr.. Haskins says
the American telegrapher couldn't stand
it to live in that country.
They are slow over in England. but
very careful. For instance, when they
erect telegraph-polc in the street of 4
town or city they plant it as carefully
as if they We're laying the foundation of
a million-dollar building. With the
pole once up they are not satisfied TO
brace it with the service wires, but to
attach to it and extend out and fasten
in every direction heavy guy-wires, as
clumsy as they are unnecessary. There
is no use trying to tell the Englishman
anything, either. or TO suggest any bet
ter methods. His invariable reply, in
q tone which seems to leave no room
for further argument, is
We'll, we have always done it that
way"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
HELEADETH ME.

In pastures greens Not always; Sometimes
He.
Who knoweth best, in kindness leadeth me
In weary ways, where heavy shadows be.
Out of the sunshine warm, and soft and
bright
Out OF the sunshine into darkness night;
oft would faint with sorrow and alright.
Only for this-I know lie holds my hand,
So, whether in green or desert land
trust, although | may not understand.
And 10y still waters, No, not always so,
Oft times the heavy tempest round me blow.
And DER nay soul the wave and pillows go
But when the storms beat loudest, and |
cry
Aloud for help. the Master standeth by,
And whispers TO my soul, "lo, IL is i. y
Above the tempest wild hear Him say,
beyond this darkness lies the perfect day.
la every path of thine lead the way"
So, whether on the hiii-tops high and fair
dwell, or in the sunless valleys, where
The shadows iie-what matter! tie is there.
And more than this where'er the pathway
lead
He gives TO me no helpless, broken reed
But His own hand, sufficient for my need.
SO where He leads me | can safely go;
And in the best hereafter shall know
Why, in His wisdom, He hath led me so.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

curious little lake with hot springs
bubbling up on one side of il, SO that
by choosing your spot you could have
bath at any temperature You pleased
Them as likes their bath hot goes
IN on the left, explained the intelli-
gent Joseph, land them as likes it cold
goes in on the right, and them as likes
il middlin' goes in in the middle.
They looked patiently at all the
curiosities which Joseph insisted upon
their seeing in the woods, but were
glad to emerge nj another part of the
terraces. where the view seemed even
finer than before. Nothing but the
warm bright AR about them served TO
remind them that il was not winter.
Even theeNquisite coloring of the water,
a lovely robbins s-egg blue, and the al
most gorgeous coloring of the terraces
where part Of the deposit had formed
in columns or streaks of the richest
orange and red, or of the daintiest pink
or creamy yellow, failed 10 detract
from the general effect of acres upon
acres of snow and ice.
1t seemed almost rs if in this vast
area every square inch was worth bend
ing down TO examine. They took
last lingering look Mt Cleopatra's Bowl,
and then began the easy descent How
softly and slowly these noiseless little
rills, not in the least like restless, tar
huleut cascades, slip over the rim
of their beautiful basins and down the
lluted walls of the terraces. may be
judged from the fact that Joseph told
them they could only 20 down the way
they were descending, becaus the wind
that day was blowing the overflow
toward the other side
"Ahr' said the Maiden, with Il happy
sign; lit has been like going to Pom
peii and Venice and the Alps and the
Milan Cathedral and the arctic regions
all in one morning. ALICE WELLING-
ToN ROLLINS. in Ha,per'S Magazine for
Mag.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
How to Live yithoa. Batting.

| Henry Howard explains in his article
on ''Feasting and Fasting in The Cos.
mopolitan how it is that some people
and animals can get along without
food:
Auto-suggestion, or a belief that one
is nourished when one is not. is great
thing, and accounts formany phenomo-
ma otherwise inexplicable. Sedillot re-
lates an incident to prove its existence
ia the animal kingdom as well: "A
tortoise weighing one kilogramme and
a half had been captured and permitted
during several weeks to wander around
the garden; subsisting on flies and
other insects. When weighing two
kilogrammes the creature was recap
tured eviscerated from behind. its head.
members. and shell being left intact.
1t was then restored to its liberty
weighing fifteen grammes less than NJ
the time OF his first capture, and. al
though entirely hollow and open on its
prosterior aspect, il roamed about as be-
fore. snapped up flies, that after being
swallowed. readily escaped from be-
hind
After two weeks the animal was taken
and again weighed, when it was found
to be five grammes heavier than at the
period Immediately after its evisceration.
The creature was c0TyaRt-that is, il
believed that it was taking into its svs-
TEN an abundance of ailment: il was
growing fat. What was this mvsteri-
GUS energy that worked an apparent
impossibility if not auto-SuggeSfion?
On the other hand. this sensation of
hunger is, in a certain measure. indie
pendent of the state Of inanition. In
otner words, in ease of nervous diseases
hunger may be felt acutely. with all its
distressing effects, in body sufficiently
nOurished. In support of this distinc-
ton, NJ. de Parville says: I'VE are ac-
quainted with lean LAWYER and fat
engineer, both of them neurasthenic.
If the lawyer does not take glass of
MADEIRA and sandwich at ) o'clock he
becomes liyid and has an attack of yer
tigo.
The engineer Is tougher For about
year he guarded himself pretty well
against his indiosyncracy by smoking.
but toward half past Z, when he came
home and smelled the odor of the dishes.
if he was not served on the instant ne
could not control himself, aud went in
to veritable fury. He became posi-
lively ravenoUs. Aud vet he was fat.
and had no need to repair the losses Of
the organism that was already too well
nourished."
So also numerous stories are found in
all ancient medical dictionaries relative
to those great eaters whose Unsuitable
stOmachs engulped enormous masses of
solids and liquids. Such was the case
of Tararus who went so far As to drink
the blood Of his patients and eat the
flesh of cadavers. and who was suspect
ed of having deyoured a 4-year-old
child; yet he had most sweet DISPOSE
ton when he wasn't hungry.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
PRAIRIE FIRES.

a dusly purple dome bends Ger,
Resprinkled with the gems OF night;
Beneath Tar spreads sodded floor
Beyond the sight.
Crisp, frosty breezes past me blow,
And trip their way with CHEEKY pace;
The crescent moon Is sinking low
Her fading face.
just where the skies and prairies meet,
COmmingling in wall OF haze,
4 flaming ocean seems TO beat
It's Hood Of blaze.
II seems to dash its rudy surge
Against some dark, low-lying bar;
The smoky spray along its verge
Is borne alur.
Still wilder, grander grows the view,
As other miles with glory beam;
The heavens catch mellOwed hue
From yonder CLEAN.
The golden grasses round me cover
Before the fierce on-rushing wave;
80 swift il comes, il seems no power
Their ranks can save.
But quick the freshcning wind has veered
And backward turns the curling me;
Soon all the heavy clouds have cleared
And LETT no sign.
And only htful flashes leap;
lis ebbing now, that fiery tide
Though in new paths its pillows sweep
Ger acres wide.
The splendor Of the night is gone.
That with itsiiush the landscape grared
And in its stead I'll find at dawn
y blackened waste.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

II you will visit the Soda Fountains and
better class OF barrooms and watch, you
will sec the old drinkers, in a very large ma
jority, walk up and ask for Moxie. The
same of the heavy professionals. You will
see thousands of working girls on the streets
on a Saturday night heading for home with
their bottle of Moxie. 1t is because il salts
fies the nerves better than stimulants, makes
them clearheaded and vigorous without
harm or reaction, and everybody can I'M
dergO al enormous amount of fatigue on a
few cents worth per day. Women who use
as harmless as catnip tea. The world moves
and God directs.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

never seen again; but Johnnie had TO
come before the Parish Committee. The
church people heard the story, and il
was on thelips ofall the school children.
Johnnie felt the disgrace keenly, and to
be called ''oily'' at school seemed more
than he could bear.
Not long after Johnnie's parents re-
moved TO another place. but Johnnie
learned lesson he never forgot. Ifhe
had obeyed his mothers command on
that Saturday afternoon, he would not
have been tempted to sin. and the
South church would never have had a
leak in its oil
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
The Successful Remedy for
Nasal Catarrh

Must be non-irTitating, easy Of application,
and one that viii, by its own action, reach
all the remote sores and liberated surfaces.
The history Of the efforts to treat catarrh
during the past few years demonstrates
that only one remedy has met these condi-
tons, and that is Ely's Cream Balm. This
safe and pleasant remedy has mastered ca
t;rrh as nothing else has ever done, and
b, tn physicians and patients freely concede
this fact The more distressing symptoms
quil xiv yield TO it, and multitude of per-
sons no have for years borne all the worry
and palo that catarrh can inflict, testify to
radical a. q permanent cures wrought by it.
Ely's CreaI Balm is perfectly soothing, ex-
cites no DIRE ID, dissolves the hardened accu-
mutations, lessons the extreme sensibility Of
the nerve cel ters - cold and all external ir-
ritants, and is followed by no reaction what
ever
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

When it takes the form of disease of the
kidneys or bladder, is task well nigh i'm
possible of accomplishment. Renal and
yesical maladies are more obstinate than
any others. Counterfeit, therefore, the
earliest indications OK inactivity Of the
many organs with Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, which possesses, among other ex-
cellent qualities, those OF an efficient
diuretic. The degree of stimulation
apparent from its use reaches, but never
goes beyond the bounds OF safety. Ii
invigorates always, never irritates.
Bright's disease, Diabetes, catarrh of the
bladder, are diseases successfully combatted
in their incipiency with this benign
medicinal stimulant and tonic Besides
reinforcing and regulating the kidneys and
bladder, the Bitters is a specific for fever
and ague, constipation and dyspepsia.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
OLD GRIMES.

a. G. Green, born in Providence, = :;
Feb fn. l.as1. and educated at brown
versItv in that CITY died is. was tle au
n. ~ tie Famous song, .-Old Grimes
Dead. 80 seldom correctly puuAsheu'
- r,f.,,r7I.if- as ans IN the English langua
M following Is a correct version:
O,d Grimes is dead. that good old man.
{Ve ue-er shall see him more;
He used to wear a long black coat
All butt0ned down befOTe-
His heart was open rs the day,
His feelings all were true,
His nair was some inclined to gray,
It's were IL in queue.
Wheue-sr he heard the voice OF pain,
Ills breast with pity burned;
Tie large, round head upon his cane
From ivory was turned
Kind words he ever had for all.
tie knew no base design:
His ewes were dark and rather small,
lis nose was acqulne-
he lived at peace with all mankind,
I'm friendship he was true,
His coat had pocket holes behind,
His pantaiupHs were blue
Unframed by sin v hich earth polutes,
RE passed securely Ger
And never wore pair of boots
For thirty years or more
Bnt good Oh Grimes is now at rest.
Nor fears EisfUrtuue's frOwn;
be wore q double breasted vest.
The stripes ran UP and down.
He modest merit sought TO find,
And pay iJ its desert,
He had no malice in his mind,
No RULES on his shirt.
His uei-nhors he did not abuse,
Was s0ciub.1 AMI guy
He wore large buckles On his shoes,
And changed them every day
HIS knowledge bid from public gaze,
file dId NOT bring u view.
Eur make "a NOISE town-lEeeting days
- many PEOPLE DO
Ills worldly goods be never threw
La trust 20 fortunes chances
He lIved as all mis- brothers do
III easy circumstance
Thus uu3istuTbesi BY anxious cares
Ills peaceful moments ran,
Aud everybody said he was
a fine J.d gentleman.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

First stranger-"Er-I didn't know
anybody else was down here.
Second stranger-'.I didn't either
Hot. isn't it?r
First stranger-Devilish. BY th'
Wa. what's your name? Mine : Lang
try Of England. "
Second stranger-sGlad to meet you
Mine Potter of New York. Let's g
in the wslter and cool of. Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
Medical Ethics Illustrated.
Heard in Washington medical circles

Heard in Washington medical circles:
First doctor say, Jones is a con-
founded liar and scoundrcl.
Second doctor-Sir, Mr. Jones is my
patient.
First Doctor don't care d-if
he is! What's that got to do with it?
Second doctor-It's got great deal
to do with ir, sir. 1t is contrary to pro-
fessional ethics. sir, for one physician
TO express an opinion of another's pa
tient, and III have YOU investigated, sir,
and blacklisted.
They parted in great anger Hash-
| iAqtOR Critic.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Mr.. Niehaus' statue of ex-Gov.
Allen Of Ohio. which is to be placed in
the Capitol at Washington. Is finished
at Rome. 1t is seven feet high and
represents its subject standing, his right
hand nervously clutching his coat-lapel
and his left hand grasping roll Of
manuscript
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

As Sydney Smith was writing one
morning in his fiyoi tie bay window. 4
pompous little man in rusty black was
ushorcd in. May l ask what procurcs
me the honor Of this vis;t?' asked
sydney oh said the little man,
Il am compromising a history Of the
distinguished families in Somersctshire.
and have called to obtain the Smith
arms" Il regret, said the wit, mot
20 be able 10 contribute TO so valuable
work, but the fact is the Smiths never
had any arms. and have invariably
scaled their letters with their thumbs. =
Similarly at a conjunction Of the moon
with the sun, or Saturn, or Mercury,
add the silver in Ike manner; and ri a
conjunction Of Venus with any of the
Others. add the copper. The last con
/ junction is with Mars. when the iron is
to be added the fluid stirred with a
dry rod of witch-hazel, let it cool-and
there you are.
This IS how to prepare the elixir Of
! life. which Parcelsus did not-with all
respect to Sir Thomas Browne-hold
capable Of rendering the physical body
immortal. but only Of prolonging life.
Take half pound Of pure carbonate
of potash and expose il in the air until
dissolved. Filter the fluid and add as
many leaves of the plant melissa as j.
viii hold. Let it stand in a Well
closed glass and in a moderately wa I'M
H. So 4.,--4.f~. fg.,,s f,.,,s p...,. -.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
True to Her Native state.

A young politician was talking to a
charming Kentucky girl at Lenten
reception the other day, and he became
profound and prophetic.
Il think, Miss Mary, he said, trying
to Fix her attention, that there will be
a war of races some day"
"Do you?" she replied. innocently;
''well, if there is is. I'll bet All I've got
on the Kentucky horses ~ Washing
ton Critic.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
ELT6 CREAM BALM

is not a liquid, snuff or poa0der. Ap-
piled into the nostrils as quickly absorbed.
II cLeanses the head. Atiays infamnla-
ti9n. Heals the sores. Restores the
senses Of taste ami smell.
80 cents at druggists. By mall registered. 50 cents
ELY BROTHERS, Druggists. owego, n. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Color the whiskers a handsome brown or
black with Buckingham's Dye for the
Whiskers.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Mr.. T. j. Murphy. 81 Debuvoice
Place, Brooklyn, n. Y, says: Il was
afflicted with sciatic rheumatism and
found St. Jacobs oil very efiicacious.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Fits: All Fits stopped free by DIR. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after fl
days use. Marvellous cures. Treatise An
$500 trial bottle free to Fit cases. Send to
DR.. Kline, 93l Arch St, Phila., Pa.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

A leading real estate agent and
private banker. Mr. Ira Brown, Chi
cagO. H.. writes: i feel it my duty to
say Of ST. Jacobs Oil that lay on my
back three months with rheumatism.
I tried It. was cured. and have never
been troubled since.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Whsn Baby was sick, We gave Der castor1a,
when shs was a Child, she cried for CastoriA.
When she became Miss, she clung to CastoriA,
When s.-s Lad Children, she gave them CA.toziA
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Put up something for a rainy day, if only
an umbrella.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Raped attention-that which is secured
by the use of the gavei.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Well-dressed people riding in Russian
sleighs have very furrin' appearance.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

know my Uncle Jean MARITIME Is on
board Of her."
David Andrews face darkened, and
was set in even harder look than her
own.
"Yes, but it is not your uncle whose
fate YOU are troubled about he said.
You are thinking of Pierre.
''And what if / ann said the girl,
boldly.
David Andrews staggered as if he
had been struck His jealousy had
told him before hand what to suspect.
but the plain avowal OF the truth which
I he read in his sweetheart defiant am
swer was hard to bear,
Il think YOU will believe me. lassie
dear. he said as soon s he could recoy-
er his self possession. when Isay that
could bear to see another man win YOU
if he was a worthy man. But Pierre is
not worthy
You are a bastard when You say il. -
said Rose, throwing OH all constraint
The strain of watching and pray ing
in an agony of suspense had been too
much for her, and she gave way Al last.
He Is a hero. What peril is great
enough to brighten him? II i only a
coward that STAYS on shore when brave
men defy danger. that viii talk about
man behind his back. And he's
dead. dead, dead, Andhe never knew
that / loved him. And he'll never
come back to face the man that bellies
him.
Il am no coward. Rose said David
Andrews You know that well
enough. But cannot see the girl /
love give herself to a thief. and not lift
up single word. "
Tie was greatly moved, and he spoke
rs the fiSher-folk 10, with small regard
for rhetoric or careful expressions; bat
he spoke from his heart, and his words
were bitter.
Rose turned white. She knew that
David Andrews was not to speak lightly
or falsely.
a thief she gasped.
YES. thief. He was Il sailor on the
steamer SUrregor. on Lake Superior.
and left the steamer one afternoon, To
carry package of letters to the Sault
Ste. Marie. Only one man was with
him, and neither Of them was ever heard
of again in the Lake Superior region.
lie had three months pay due him on
the steamer, but there was more than
seyen-hundred dollars in the package. ="
How do YOU know al thi>2' asked
Rose.
..Bccause l have warrant for his
arrest from the magistrate i'm Autigon-
iSh. You know | am special officer. -
said Andrews. gravely. He has been
tracked; and if ne comes to land again,
/ must arrest him.
1t Is a base and" began Rose.
Then she burst into terrible lit of
sobbing and wailing. She knew David
Andrews 80 well that an awful conyic-
ton came 70 her that he was speaking
the truth.
1t was his strong arm that supported
her a. she went. broken with sorrow
and doubt to her home
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

No Opium in Piso's Cure for Consumption
Cures where other remedies fail. 25c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Thousands Of cures follow the use Of Dr.
Sage's Catarrh Remedy. 80 cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

IL afflicted with sore eyes, use Dc. Isaac
Thompson's eye water. Druggists sell il
&c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

What is the difference between an angry
lover and a Tilted maid!' 'Give it up
"Why, one is cross beau, and the other is
cut-lass."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

One of the last sad rites--writing ones
will
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

Tight-lacing, like other evils, has its com
pensation. 1t prevents waste-fulness. Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05

II the liver is disordered, the whole
system suffers. Ayers Pills correct this
trouble.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-05-05
A New Era Dawning.

a philosopher says a girl should
marry for protection, and not revenue only