davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

4
The Little Giants son, Stephen
A. Douglas, of Chicago, weighs 325
pounds.
"A revival of interest in the poems
Of Walter Scott is reported from a
number of Western cities.
In addition to taking care of the
son of NJ. Depretis, King Humbert has
granted to that statesman's widow q
life pension of s., 600 year.
Miss Flora Benjamin, of Cincin-
natl, is the latest musical wonder She
can play almost any instrument, and
is especially proficient on the violin.
She never took lesson in music.
Mime. Popp, the doyenne of Bel
gian journalists, for fifty years editor
of the Bruges Journal, has written up
to the present no less than Is. 600 ar
ticles, each containing from 5000 to
1000 words.
j. S. Trowbridge, the author, one
of the earliest discoveries of Kenne-
bunkport. Me-, as a summer resort,
has grown rich from the rise of prop
erty and is one of the principal stock
holders in the company which now
owns all the land available for cot
tages.
Only one Philadelphia paper can
go back to its files of one hundred
years ago, as the North american does,
in its purpose to celebrate the consti-
tutlonal centennial, by. printing fac
smile of an issue of one of its lineal
predecessors, which contained the first
printed copy of the Constitution.
-Bismarck's wife is an interesting
woman. She is more than sixty years
OF age, very tall, and very gray. Hel
features are prominent and her cheek
bones very high. Altogether she has
strong face. She is women of very
determined character and not unlike
the 'iron chancellor himself in obsti-
macy. She is fond of talking and
speaks in a loud and decided voice.
Editor George w. Childs, though
well advanced in years, is a wonder.
fully preserved man. His rosy cheeks
are like the bushes of schoolgirl OF
fourteen or fifteen. His eye is as
clear and bright as it was twenty
years ago, his step just as agile. His
dress is always the same, and yet he
looks as if his clothes had just come
from the tailor's, they are so spotless.
The King of Persia once ordered
his Visier to make out list of all the
fools in his dominions. He did so, and
put his Majesty's name at the head OF
them. The King asked him why, and
he Immediately answered: because
you entrusted lac of rupees to men
you don't know to buy horses for you a
thousand miles off, and who'll never
come back" GAY, but suppose they
come back?" "Then I shall erase your
name and insert theirs. - Public
Opinion.
-Zebehr Pasha, who has just been
released from three years imprison.
ment at Gibraltar, has played an i'm.
portant part in African politics for
twenty-five years past. He has been
an English prisoner ever since his
capture by General Gordon over ten
years ago. He was on parole in Cairo
for eight years until his intrigues in
behalf of the Mahdi obliged the Eng
lish to shut him up at Gibraltar
Whether ne will be contented to re-
main quietly in Cairo or will attempt
to regain his scepter in Darfar is an
interesting problem.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
TEMPERANCE.


A man with tattered garments old,
Upon whose face
Want and despair, in letters dark.
Had left their trace,
With wavering step by wine unnerved,
That heavy faEs,
Paused, where low cleaned in twilight mist
Three golden balls,
Meath which he entered, as If were
No time to lose,
And on the counter laid in shame
Two baby shoes.
Take them" he said, Il must have drink"
The clerk said: May,
1t were a shame the baby's shoes
To take away
She viii not need them; cold and still
She lies asleep,
And Heaven will DOW the baby's feet
In safety keep"
II have baby, too, at home,n
One listening said
And at the thought, in gratitude
He bowed his head
''The little feet not still, thank Godl
How could lose,
In ruins crimson flood of Wine
My baby's shoef'
-CGllie L. B0nney, in Youths Companion.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
HOME, FARM AND GARDEN.
The hay crop is the leading crop OF
the United States.


The hay crop is the leading crop OF
the United States.
Fix up your farm if you want to
sell it-and if you don't.
Cold Cabbage Salad-Chop the
cabbage fine, sprinkle it with salt, pep
per ana sugar, cover with one-third
water two-thirds vinegar Boston
Budget.
-Buttered Toast-Toast stale bread
to d delicate brown, dip in boiling wa
ter containing little salt, spread with
butter and set in the oven.-IndiCn-
.polis Sentinel.
IF any particular variety of fruit
annually becomes infested with worms,
while other varieties escape. 1t is best
not to waste the space with such trees,
but dig them up and try new varieties.
indianapolis Journal.
To perfume note-paper sprinkle
some blotting- paper with the perfume
required and lay under weight until
dry, and place it between the sheets of
paper When removed they will be
perfumed.
Plum Cream. Stew one pint of
plums; make very sweet; whip one
pint of cream. and dissolve one-half
box of gelatine in warm water; strain
the plums and add to the gelatine; stir
in the cream; set on ice to harden
Louisville Courier-Journal.
There are two varieties of guineas
domesticated. the common, or
speckled, and the white, the latter
not SO well known, being compare
lively new. There are several wild
varieties, the native country being
Northern Africa Farm, Field ana
Stockman.
Wet, muddy feet and legs are full
ly as injurious to the lower orders of
animal life as they are to men. In
stinct teaches the animal ira state of
nature to avoid such unwholesome ex-
posures, but man has obliged them to
grovel in such miserable places and is
therefore responsible for the results
st. Louis Republican.
Grape Catsup.-Boil your grapes
and put through the colander, and
then through a sieve, to get out all
the seeds and grape skins. To four
quarts of the juice take one-pint of
vinegar, little more if you think it
not tart enough, about an ounce each
of cloves, cinnamon and allspice, and
sugar to taste.-Fa7mer and Manufact-
Mrer.
If any one have pear tree that
hears spotted or cracked fruit, let him
sprinkle wood ashes freely over the
soil beneath the tree, as far in diam
eter as the branches extend-not
light sprinkle either, but a liberal
dressing. Then wash the bark thor
oughly with strong soap suds (old-
fashioned soft soap preferred), with
the addition of Underwater, and little
flower of sulphur. Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
-Rissoles of Chicken or veal. Chop
cold fowl OF veal till very fine and add
to it a little ham and two hard boiled
eggs with tablespoonful of butter.
Flavor with pepper and salt, lemon
and nutmeg. Mix all together and
roll in small balls and lay two inches
from each other upon a sheet of pastry
rolled out very thin. With the finger
dipped in cold water, moisten the
pastry round each ball of meat; spread
another thin crust over them, and
with a biscuit cutter cut each one,
pressing the edges of the pastry to-
gether. Brush with beaten egg and
fry in hot lard. Serve with celery and
white picked onions. Good Cheer.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
A Hopeless Case.

Anxious Chicago Father (to friend)
4 fear that my son will never amount
to any thing.
81 heard" the friend consolingly
replied, "that he had writtes mag
criticism on the school of
American realism"
ooh, yes, he did that, but he sold a
COW for ten dollars when he might just
as well have got ten and quarter
ArkanSaa0 Irdceler.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
Alcohol Not a Medicine.

DR.. j. H. Hanaford, writing of alco-
hol as medicine, says: 81 well know
that it has been claimed by the friends
of intoxicants-their claims have never
been based on science, reason or truth
that alcohol aids digestion, reason
ably inferring that, if true, its use will
add to the strength, very important
matter in all cases of illness. 1t should
be understood that alcohol is in no
sense a food. that it can never impart
any strength, since it is never digested,
passing into the circulation and leav-
ing it, when elected, as pure alcohol as
when it entered, only that which is
digested affording any strength. =
National Temperance AdUocate.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30
A Good Deal in a Name.

81 want to get a few volumes Of
poetry he said 20 the dealer.
Eyes, sir. We have complete sets
of Browning, Shelly, Shakespeare,
Schiller, Swinburne'
whats that-Swineburne?'
Eyes, SIR
well, give me set of his'n. I'm
a Chicago pork packer; an when a
man by that name gets into this liter.
airy business, b'lieve in encouragin'
him. "--Drake's IraUelers' Magazine.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30

THE " Liquor Dealers parade "
which the country is hungry Tor, is a
parade that keeps going in straight
line and never comes back. M z.
Toicc.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1887-09-30

Use powdered starch to take fresh
stains out of table linen.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
A sonorous Voice.

Two men wearing sombreros and long hair
sat opposite each other at a table in Calhoun
place restaurant. The taller of the two was
discussing the peculiarities of dear friend
who had died somewhere in the state of
Sonora.
"He warn't much bigger'n toad" he said,
ordering fresh round of drinks "but lordy
how he could yell. Never heered him, en-
Jack? Then you don't know what you've
missed. He war hundred times better'n the
Piute at yeIp, am as sure as I'm a-sittin'
here he could outhowl all the wolves you ever
seen ON the Cimaron. 'Twar peculiar yelp
this yelp of Bens. Beginnin' with sigh as
soft as the breeze that sweeps DER Ingin
buryin' grounds on moonlite mites, it would
slowly grow louder an louder until it sounded
Just as the wind does when she gets er
screechin' through Last Stake canyon. But Ben
never stopped here. 1t was after he passed
this point that he made mems hair turn gray.
Iiftin' his voice so high that you'd think he'd
split his throat he'd make the air snap an set
the rocks and snow a-tunblin' down the hills.
Talk about coyotes and wolves and mountain
lions why, Ben could outyell the whole kit O
them put together an scare 'ern to death to
boot. Compare this yell to suthin'? 1t can't
be DONE Jack. The difference between this
whoop and the whoop of an ordinary man
was as great as the difference between the
roar of Niagara an the gurglin' of this Ticker
down my Chicago Herald.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
RiIIing And Coofng.

The first few months of happy honey moon
They bill and COO awhile; then coo and Dill
A short time after that, but all too SOON
The cooling disappears. IT'S now al OIL
Merchant Traveller,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
Bound to outshine Tabor.

The presence in Chicago of Mr.. James Car
Isle, of Pueblo, Colo, calls to mind an incl
dent in connection with himself and one Of
the men who became rich from the output Of
Ieadvile The bonanzaite alluded to was
Gus RiSche and when the present millionaire
and ex-senator, Tabor, was keeping a store IN
California Gulch, Mr.. Tabor used to grub
stake Rsche while he prospected for a lead
Eventually Rische and his crony, man
named Hook, almost accidentally found the
great carbonate lead that quickly built a city
among the clouds and doomed Denver so sat
isfactoriIy and made large number of mil
Honaires OF course Rische became rich with
the others, but being always man Of unex-
allied tastes and decidedly iliterate, there
came a time within a few years in which a
social line of demarcation was drawn. Thus
it happened that once, when Tabor and 9th
ers were entertaining some eastern magnateS
and capitalists with banquet at the Claren-
don in LeadviHe, Mr.. Carlisle walked into a
saloon and beheld Rische consoling himself
with an immense schooner of beer.
"Hello!" said Carlisle. "Why not at the
banquetg"
"For der pest of reasons, Chin; dond get
an invite replied Rische. "Dem fellers vas
too arisdogratig; dey vas too decent unit re-
spectacle, und dey dond invite me some
more"
"Now that's too bad, returned Carlisle.
"Dond you mind that" said Rische. II VIII
gift banget myself 1 viii get me dot bill of
fair und viii more as duplicate it, und L
dond hef a decent, respectable son of a gun at
der table" Then suddenly, as if remember
ing something, he added: "Dond you get I'M
easy, Chin; you viii got an invite. Chicago
Mail
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
UDsetting a Preachers Gravity.

DR.. Patterson was preaching a very earn
est discourse and was carrying his congrega-
ton with him, when an English pug dog
crossed the line of his vision. The dog at
tracted the attention of no one in the auditor
ium, and there was no reason why it should
have attracted the attention of the preacher,
but the thought came to him that the dog had
its tail curled about as tight as circumstances
would permit. Then came the question if the
tail was curled once more what would hap
pen. Would it not be possible to curl the tail
so tight as to lift the hinder parts of the
dog and start him walking on his fore feet
with his tell in the air! All the time he had
been going on with his sermon, but when this
odd conceit of giving the dogs tail an extra
curl came over him he burst into a horse
laugh.
The interruption came not only in the mid
die of q proposition but in the middle of a
sentence He broke off without ceremony
into a laugh that startled himself quite as
much as the congregation. Once started he
found it very difficult to stop, and although
he used his handkerchief and made pretence
of having a paroxysm of coughing, still he
laughed till the tears came. Even when he
started again on his sermon he found great
difficulty in getting away from the idea of
that dogs tail, and several times his voice
trembled and he had to shake himself as one
in dream.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
Carl Dunder,s Mind Reading.

81 suppose vhas shwindled some more"
sorrowfuIIy remarked Mr.. Dunder as he paid
a visit to Sergt. Bendall yesterday.
@Not doubt of it. What's your story?"
uDo YOU pellet dot a man can read some
pody's mind"
"VVeII, I've heard of mind readers"
$50 has Shake, und he goes crazy aboudt it.
He vhas going to be mind reader if it takes
AFT winter. He practice leedle on me, und
vhas astonisbed."
"But about the swindle?"
"VhelI, two mans come in my place last
night when l vhas all alone. Vhas Carl Dun
der? I vhas. All right, one of dot pair vhas
mind reader, und he like to gift me some
points. He doan' do it by everybody, but
yhas such a friendt of der poor dot he like to
oblige me- Well, sergeant, dot seems all
right I1nd we lock der door und sot down L
vhas pIindfolded NIT handkerchief, und der
mind reader says:
seNow, Mr. Dunder, you fix your mind on
some subject shust so hardt as you can, und
keep awful shtiI If you take dot pandage
off or slump aroundt dot preaks me all oOp."
"Vhell, sergeant, l fix my mind on dot time
falls off my parn on Hastings shtreet, und
maype two minutes by und nobody shpeaks to
me. Den der oldt woman comes down shtatrs
und I take off der pandage. Dose mans vhas
gone"
"And what else3"
1.-TWO boxes of cigars und fife bottles of
whisky. Was it shwindle on me"
II should smilel Mr.. Dunder, you are very
soft"
Sergeant, look in my eye. I vhas going
home Tonight somepody Will drop in
Was 1 Carl Dunder. 1 vhas. All right. Mr..
Dunder, ike to read"-
eyes"
"Dot vhas all, sergeant If some inquest
vhas heldt you rememper dot I vhas a shwin-
died man, und dot kildt him in self-defense."
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
She Made a rTistake.

They had come over from New York to
Philadelphia a short trip, and had arrived
at the hotel in the night The next morning
she was sitting at the window looking out
"Whats going onp asked her husband.
HWhy, George" she said innocently, otis
the funniest funeral procession / ever saw.
Everybody walking along SO slow, and not a
carriage or heerse in sight anywhere. Just
lookl"
He stepped to the window.
@Pshaw!" he said "that'ssno funeral pro-
cession It's Philadelphia business men going
to work. w ashington Critic.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
An Old Fashioned Beverage.

81 wish you'd make me an old fashioned
cup of coffee" he said as he sat down in a
Detroit restaurant the other day.
Il will, sir Want it after the fashion of
about thirty years ago, supposed"
Eyes"
In few minutes cup was placed before
him and he surveyed it, shifted at it and
turned up his nose and asked:
"What do you call it?"
can old fashioned cup of coffee, sir, such
as our mothers used TO make. I got some
Rio, burned it on the shovel, pounded it in a
rag, and it is sweetened with molasses and
dosed with SKINNED milk Those good old
times are gone, sir, but the good old fashioned
coffee can be made yet. Detroit Free Press
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
Proeress of the Chinese NIissions.

Fair Teacher-Now you understand the
moral of George Washington's noble lifea
Chinaman-I sabe; George Washeeton cut
down chelly tlee, he no lie, an Mclean man
elect big monumentee to him. But Mclean
man not like Chinyman. Chinyman do samee
dings samee way alice time.
Fair Teacher do not quite catch your
meaning.
Chinaman- Mclean man elect big monu-
nentee to George Washeeton what nevee
teIlee lie: but Mclean man go light along lie
like hellee evely timee. Brooklyn Eagle.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
A BIT OF OOG-GEREL..

We bought him when puppy,
And we know he was pug,
For he had the usual trademark p
On his ugly little mug.
He had eyes the size of walnuts'
And his noze to heaven turned
And his under jaw protruded
As if for flesh it yearned-
While his color it was off'u
And his face was black as tar,
And the rnoles upon his checkers
Were the same SIS puggies. are.
And we knew he was Thorough"
When we watched him at his pay
For his monkey like expression
Gave his origin away.
And this origin Of species
Is a very funny thing,
when the grandson of a monkey
Can be such a cunning thing.
LATER.
He's developed to a bulldog,
Evolution has begun,
And we fear he'll be terr-le-or
Before his race is run.
But there's one small consolation:
1t is. that now he's ug-
Lier. if that were possible,
Than when he was pug.
Detroit Free Press
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
MYRTLE.

1t CHANGED that, as I lightly trod
The springing turf at morning hour'
1 saw, up-peeping from the sod'
A myrtle flower.
7 nll1cked the blossom at my feet,
It's petals like the dome above,
And smiling said, This to my sweet
Shall tell my love. p"
3
But 10! when unto herI came
My fragile offering to bring,
I saw the flower was, to my shame,
A withered thing.
And hence, Whenever with ardent ART
strive in tender tones to WOO.
She tells me that she fears my heart,
Is withered too,
Clinton Scotland in Life,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
She Thought He Rang the Bell.

First Omaha Girl-Oh, dearie, really be
Heve Mr. Fitzsweeties last poem was about
you; now, wasn't it?
Second Omaha Girl-Yes, the brute.
"Why, what on earth ais you?
"It's perfect insult"
"Insult?"
eyes. insult. The idea of his using such an
expression as chestnut hair just as il
bought it at a secondhand wig store. y
Omaha World.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
An onyx Quarry.

There is an onyx quarry at New Suisin,
Cal, and 100 tons of it were shipped to
New York lately to be made into mantels,
bureau tops, etc, while some of it viii
be worked into jewelry.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
A REMINDER.

twas at the depot-they must part.
Cried he, Forget me not, dear hearth
Never, no never!'' she sobb'd in grief.
And the husband left IN deep regret;
And the wife, so she might not forget,
Just tied knot in her handkerchief
Tudoa
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
THE ARTFUL MAIDEN.

About this time the pretty f1irt
Thinks of the men she's Tilted;
Her mind in fancy does revert
To flowers long since wilted.
Or thinks she'd like diamond ring,
Or necklace made of coraS,
And so It's policy TO bring
An end to all her quarrels.
To all she's snubbed she's penlCent-
To all she's very pleasant.
APOLOGIES by scores are sent,
And each brings in present.
The Rambler.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
A snnerfuous ouestion.

A chunk of boy asked Ticket Seller Ayres
for a half rate ticket to Cheshire the other
day allow old are youg asked the ticket
seller. "Ten years old" said the boy. "When
were you bornF" asked Mr.. Ayres. "Ten
years ago." said the young Yankee. He got
his half fare ticket-New York Sun
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31

The cost of introducing a girl into So
ciety IN New York and carrying her sue
cessfully through one season is estimated
at S1,698.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-03-31
Regret.

when courted, there was no one sweeter-
None to make the heart of man so glad,
Then said that 1 should like to eat her;
And now, WE'LL only wish hadi
G. b. in It'd Bits
Hillsboro recorder., 1887-12-01
Transforming in the Northwest

The Minneapolis Journal says: 81
suppose We have had the greatest trip
that ever dramatic company had, re-
marked Jolly Charles II. Yale, the man
ager of the "Devil's Auction" the other
evening. 1--WE have been within four
hundred miles Of Alaska. In half OF the
places we did not have any theatre to
play in. At Spokane Falls they built q
theatre for Us TO play in in twenty-four
hours. Fact. They wanted us to show
there and we were willing, but they
did not even have q skating rink that
they could fit up. But they said that
if we would come they would have q
place for us, and they did. They erect
ed a pniliol out of rough pine boards,
and placed canvas top over it. The
place was packed. Cowboys came In
droves like the cattle they take care OF.
remember one fellow who could not
get a seat. He kicked for while and
then went out and got a box. When
ever he would get in any ones way he
would move. The people out there went
crazy over the show, and the ballet girls
used 10 get about four offers Of marriage
at each town.
s.Dut it was at Anaconda, in Mon.
tana, that we had the greatest expert
ence that the show ever had. We made
arran gements to play at the Grand
Opera House. When We got there /
saw the most dilapidated old barn that
ever was. A good able-bodied zephyr
would have blown it into the middle OF
next week. The stage was on trestles,
and every time any one placed his foot
on il the whole building shook. There
was no curtain, and not dressing room.
just think Of that for place to present
orr show in. That was the Grand
Opera House. There was not man in
tile town that could play musical in.
strument. The natives had never heard
of an orchestra. We only had a few
hours to prepare for the show. We built
our own dressing rooms, patched up
some muslin for a curtain, hunted up
an old piano, and then started in. The
man who plays Count Fortune would
speak few lines and then put on his
trousers and 60 down and play for the
ballet. We had about dozen men
under the stage bracing il up with their
back. That is how We gave the show,
and the people thought that it was the
greatest thing on earth"