Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-16
SMALL.

A road wagon will hold two men, but it
 isn't large enough to hold a man and his wife.
 -Drake's Magazine.
 Bridget, did you get the flowers that I am
 to wear tonight in my haira' ''Yes, num-
 but" "But whata' sI've mislaid the
 hair, mum. ."-Texas Siftings.
 Little man-I understand, sir, that you have called me unmitigated lara Big
 man-No, didn't use the word unmitigated. Little man-Then I accept your apology Harper's Bazar.
 "How styles have changed since I was a girl," said an old lady. ''When was young we used to wear our dresses up to the neck and gloves with only one button. Now they wear the glove up to the neck and only one button on the dress. ."-Louisville Post. A Michigan boy, having been promised a whipping by his teacher, put on three pairs of pantaloons, prepared for the worst. The teacher beat him on the head with ferule If that boy turns out misanthrope this ear ly disappointment will have had much to do with it.-Boston Transcript.
 A Washington paper says the President has not altered any in his manner since his marriage; that when he is introduced to any one he simply shakes hands, bows, smiles, speaks few words, and passes on. There was rumor going round that he twisted his friends arm, threw a back somerset and yelled defantly.-Life.
 Pie has almost disappeared from Chicago breakfast tables. When it is considered | that but few short years ago Chicago was a bowling wilderness of trackless prairies, | where rank missiles nodded in the wind and l the bullfrog crooked his croak, the present culture of the city fills one with the very ecstacy of admiration.-Puck.
 The sun will be burnt out, according to Sir William Thompson, in ten million years. It will be great day for electric light compa-
 nies when that period arrives. They will be l unable to supply the demand for light and | our citizens who now decline to take stock in our local companies will regret that they i were so short sighted.-Norristown Herald The widow (three years) Larmier: Atticus | II-eI-intend to tighten my mourning after Lent, and Pm afraid your color is 6 little toe I dark for the-er-circumstan So, if you | know of another one of your race severa
 shades lighter. I think you could get place
 with poor dear Mrs. Lightfoot, who has just | lost Mir. L.; so we can all be nicely accommo | dated.
 | Fogg-"There is sad lesson to be learned
 worth hundred thousand; to-day he hasn'
 a dollar to his name" Brown-"The ol6
 story-wine, cards and horses" Fogg-"Not | exactly. Hobbs never drank glass of liq
 uor in his life, couldn't tell one card from
 another, and as for horses, he couldn't abide 1 tnem lie went to a parish talr. See!-
 Boston Transcript.
 At meeting of cheesemen in New York last week it was stated that s'cheese to day | is adulterated with cotton seed oil, lard
 residuum, bad butter, etc" The oil, lard
 residuum and bad butter might be over
 looked, albeit the offense is rank, but
 the lovers of the delioacy will be apt to kick
 against the ''etc." That is what they must l put in the Limburger cheese on lunch coun- l ters and which smells so loud that it wakes | up the policeman in the next block.-Nor | ristown Herald