The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1887-03-05
COurting Aunt PhiIura.
Aunt Philara, in Boston Times.

Aunt fh1tHfd, IN OOStOH ItWeSs T.
We went into the corner grocery.
There was only one fellow in and after
he'd been forward and found out we
didn't want anything he went out in the
back end of the store and stood around
and we didn't pay no more attention.
| was lookin' at some cocoanuts, and
wonderin' how much they was dozen,
when | heard bell ring somewhere and
the feller in the end of the store called
out:
my dear Flury! Halo, darling,' l
didn't answer him, was too astonished.
Come down here, my darling he
went on, I'm all alone, and shall be for
half an hour at least
| was too dumbfounded to speak,
though I could "a shook the inpudent
puppy.
Never mind what they say the fell
low went on. Come right along to the
one who has no solace in life but thee,
my love. Uutil you come life will be a
cold, desolate existence
Joint had been standing at the win
dow, and heard it all. He turned and
came toward me.
johnson Winters says I, 'be you a
man or not2'
'Dummit,' says he, 'yes, l be. I'll
teach him to talk soft talk to my par
dener right before me-
Behind your back, says l, 4 should
say But he'd already started.
when you reach me, the fellow went
on, in soft way, "a golden food of sun
shine will pour its radiance into this
one-horse grocery, gliding the cans of
tomatoes and the boxes of pepper into
an almost supernatural radiance. l own
no power but thine
you don't, eh?' says Joint, as he
grabbed him by the collar and proceed
ed to choke him. He was a small,
delicate feller, and if he hadn't been ad-
dressin' me in such plaguey mean way
(me, married womanD y 1 never would
have stood by and seen Joint shake him
across that grocery the way he did; but
l experienced real mean sense of de-
light.
Joint he mopped out the middle of
the grocery floor with him in good shape
and then he flung him out of the door,
which opened for him.
'There!' says he. I'll teach you to
make love to my wife!' and he raped
him against the lamp post. I dunno
what he would have done, but police
man came along and seized 'em both.
He shocked 'em like couple of school
boys in fight, and wanted to know
what the trouble was anyhow.
TROUBLED says Joint. 'Why, that
rascal called my wife darling, and his
love, and told her to come out there
where he was,'
4 didn't says the feller, wiping the
blood from his nose.
you did, says Joint, 'and I en-
prove it. Didn't he, Philury7'
'Yes,' says I. young man, you did,
you used shameful language to me-a
woman old enough to be your mother.
Explain, says the police to the feller,
'or I'll take you both to the lookup
why says he, most cryin', Il was
telephonin' my girl, that's all. There's
private line up to the house, and I was
talking to her. I'd forgot that anybody
was round
It's lie!' exclaimed Joint. 'You
called her by name-Philury.'
4 dind't!' says the feller. 'Her
names Florrie, an l called her So
Heavens!' said he lookin' at me-'did
you think when l called her my love
and my darling that was talking to
that old squat3'
Come, Johnt,' says I, startin' for
home, its time we were goin. He's
changed nightly sudden from hot to
cold, and l dunno what he will call me
next, and we locked arms, leavin' the
police roarin' with laughter.
'Good-by,' called out the grocery
feller, 'Call again some afternoon when
business is dull
But pretended not to hear and so
did Joint.