The semi-weekly fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1886-1887, 1887-09-09
BILL NYE AS A DUELIST.
BE CHALLENGES AN EDITOR IN A
TRULY CRIVALROUS WAY.
The Humorist Resents Some Re-
marks Made Upon His Hair-A
Fierce CRY For Gore.

Fierce Cry For Gore.
The following copy ola letter has been
handed to the New York World with a
view to publicity:
Mr.. George W. TIdd, Editor Cranberry
Palladium.
SIR: Ny attention has just been called
to a printed statement made over your
own signature some time ago, in which
you spoke in light and fippant manner
of nv hair The remark was carefully
worded. but calculated to cast obloquy
and reproach upon me in the eyes of the
public. / have spoken to several friends
in relation to it, and they are of one opin-
ion in the matter. They unite In saying
that the term mexican hairless humor-
ist' demands challenge, to say nothing
of the statement that while on board a
train which was robbed in Nebraska
succeeded in ''concealing my jewelry in
my hair until the danger had passed"
For this, sir, beg to state that my adj
dress is No. 2314 Rue de Bowery, oppo-
site the Place du Railway Mysterie, and
to ask that you will send me your own
address. I forward this by the hands of
a slow messenger boy, who will bring me
your answer as soon as he gets thoroughly
rested I need not add that he is my
friend and will act as my second, should
you refuse to retract the statements re-
ferred to. You may also settle with him
for this message and your own.
I will settle with you.
I hope, sir, that you will excuse any
thing that may seem coarse or brutal In
this challenge, for 1 desire only to take
your life without giving you any offense,
and 1 want to be polite like other duel
lists. May ask, therefore, that at your
earliest convenience you will name quiet
place, as free from malaria as possible,
where we may kill each other undis
turbed.
May trouble you also, sir, to select
two as dangerous weapons as possible,
aud also to bring with you the surgeon
who generally sews you up at such times
The De Nyes have always been a hot
blooded race ever since they left France,
and they can none of them brook an in
suit or bear to be tramped on.
When first read your singing insult
in the paper l became delirious with pas
sion, and although l am not related to
the Knickerbockers, my breath came in
short pants.
The De Nyes are pleasant people to
meet, but the man who infuriates one of
them is liable to meander up the fume
in an oblique manner. Pardon anything,
sir, in this communication which may
sound harsh or clash with the smooth and
scholarly style of assassination peculiar
to the Code. l desire to meet you in
mortal combat, but want to do it in a
polished way, and fdesire to word this
note so that it will read we'll in print,
like other challenges.
/ have consulted several friends about
the prospect of our meeting in a duel at
no distant day, and all of them seem to
be highly grat1fied. 1t affords me great
pleasure to note that go into this thing
with the hearty Endorsement and god
speed of all, without distinction. If you
would prefer to wait few weeks, till the
weather is cooler, so that you can lie in
state longer, I will try to muzzle my
wrath, but would advise you not to cross
my trail in the meantime
My second will no doubt inform you
that am an expert and deadly swords
man and will try to convince you that it
will be best not to name the sword. Do
not be too proud to heed his advice. 1t
may save your life-and mine also.
hope you will not treat this challenge
sir, and try still further to heap
ridicule upon an old and mildewed name
by suggesting soft gloves or watermelons
as weapons Let us meet as gentlemen,
sir-fire and fall down, stagger to our
feet, lean heavily against tree, mutter
a few words in a hoarse voice, gasp two
times in rapid succession, put on our
coats and go home.
/ feel almost certain, sir, that you will
treat this note in sighting and jaunty
manner, but / beg that you will not do
so. For the sake of the Tidds, who were
always plain but rather pleasant set of
people, and for the sake of the De Nyes,
whose only fault has been their fondness
for fresh, hot blood, furnished by other
parties; for the sake of all our ancestors,
sir, let me beg of you to assist in making
this duel success.
If l have been brutal in the wording of
this challenge, sir, or violated the Code,
or misspelled any words, will you please
have it corrected before you send it to the
printer? 1 ask this favor of you in all
and in as courteous manner as
possible, hoping that you will grant it
promptly, and that you will lose no OPP
portunity to do all the good you can
during the next few days.
1 have arranged all my earthly affairs
with the exception of paying my poll
tax. have turned off the gas-meter and
am prepared for any accident, though
the police have promised to come in and
arrest us at any time we may agree upon.
In closing, sir, allow me to express the
hope that you will surely be at the duel
and that you will bring your dinner.