The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1887-03-30
flashes Of Fun.

"A nOWlllS SWell-An liberated
tooth.
Crossed in love-The suspenders
your girl makes you.
Tell your genial neighbor when
he comes to borrow your paper,
that it is Lent. That will be a Joke.
We can speak of a mail boy
without being guilty Of tautology,
but it sounds odd to hear the ex-
preston, "a female girl"
1t is stated that a powder COM
pany in New York has stopped
business, but it is nothing new to
hear of a powder mill "going up"
The chronological Journal says:
"In choosing a wife be governed by
her chin" A mar is apt to be gov
erned by the same thing after he
gets a wife.
-"Is it true that little Bailey has
blown his brains out? "No." "Why,
I saw it in all the papers," at was a
mistake. He blew the top Of his
head off; that was ALL"
-"Bridget, did you get the flow
ers that / am to wear tonight in
my hair?' eyes, mum, but" "But
what?' Give mislaid the hair,
num-"
-"What are the last teeth that
come?' asked a teacher of her class
in physiology. "FaIse teeth num-"
replied a boy who had just Weakened
up on the back seat.
The clergy, yon may have
noticed, are much more forcibly re-
minded of the "uncertainty of life"
when a millionaire dies suddenly
than when a poor man drops dead.
Little Charley: "Papa, will
you buy me a drum?" Fond father:
"Ah, but my boy. you will disturb
me very much if [ do" O, no papa,
1 won't drum except when you are
asleep"
Friend: "Now Charley, I'd ad-
wise you to have the operation per-
formed by DR.. Sawbones. He is a
very skillful surgeon, and will per-
form his work in a rare manner
Patient (alarmed)-"Rare? I'd
rather it be well done"
quite natural: "But; Emma, how
can you prefer the plain and shah
billy dressed Julius to my elegant
and handsome brother?"
THAT is quite simple: your BROTH
er is in love with himself, and JUL
us with me-"
Friend (to young artist): Isn't
your shirt a little ragged, Charley?'
Young Artist: I'm afraid it is"
Friend: "WelI, why don't you
change it,"
Young Artist because the other
one is ragged, too"
johnnie to his chum: II will
tell you a secret if you won't tell.
Sister Emily is engaged to Mr.. White.
[ heard mamma and sis talking
about it. The secret is that Mr..
White don't know it himself"
She: "Where are you going,
Charley?" He: Going to the thea
ire" She: "Ah, l understand, the
ballet but, why don't you 60 to the
dog show instead? [ think you will
like it much better; the dogs, you
know, have four-twice as many
as the ballet dancers"
"A little fellow of four years old
went to a blacksmith's to see his
fathers horse shod, and was watch
ing closely the work of the shooting.
The blacksmith began to pare the
horses hoof, and thinking this
wrong, the boy said, earnestly, "My
pa don't want his horse made any
smaller"
Il am alarmed for the future of
this country Johnson
why so Briggs?'
because Of the rapid increase in
population. Soon the land will not
support all the people,"
"Nonsense! The medical colleges
are now turning out four thousand
physicians yearly.
A minister asked a little boy
who had been converted: "Does not
the devil tell you that you are not
a Christian % eyes, sometimes"
well, what do you tell him ?" II