The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-12-07
cakes is better than liver pad these frosty

A society sirl says tlIat autumn ieaves
may be very beautiful, but they are not
nearly so nice as 10 O'Clock leaves.
The chap who finds carpet nail in his
uncookcd oysters is among these who wish
The Tax taken Off raw material.
Docs your husband swear as much as
cver?" Swear, Why l can't keep par
70; two weeks in the house.
The cider man gets the more difficult
ii IS to pull the wool over his eyes. lie has
. good deal less wool you know.
|; Is suggested asa shrewd guess that the
frs! mention cf playing cards is in the
Bible 1t was when Ncb cGchercd NeZzar.
Paris is to have a ;Erce-story crematory.
Ii is supposed tie upper classes will insist
upca being crcmated in the upper story.
In tie bright lexicon OF the base ball
player home run in time s;tTe the nine.
lay Gould has landed in England, but
Queen Victoria still retains q controlling
interest in tie throne.
81 john remarks that the Prohibitionists
| with :l'deut spirits.
distress 90 applicanD-And what is
ycur name? AppIcant-Mary Browne,
utln; We spell il wild the ''e''.
Wacn You read that millionaire works
| .ltcr ihan any OF his clerks, please to re-
u@mbzr that ne also gets more pay.
.lp anli-far restaurant has been opened in
London. Anti fat boarding houses have
iong been known in this country.
Princess B@ltrice has daughter. The
list Of dependents upon the British tax
PAYERS crows large by degrees and beautl-
full, mere.
Considering the price of fashionable bon
nets Ne beglu II think the word million
aire' is bat 4 corruption of milliner.
"It'sau i'll wad that blows nobody good,
si;3 The Thanksgiving turkey, as cyclone
ybiricl him from under the farmers up
III. : Ratchet into the next county.
The agricultural fair of the present opens
with speech By u lawyer and closes with
horse race. Agriculture takes a back
! seat.
Il see the dude has got into the latest
edition of Webster's Dictionary" "Has
he: Well, hurry, then, and slam the cover
down"
Theatrical Manager-There are breakers
ahead. Jones-Why so? Because see
so many light houses
What was Nero's greatest act Of cruel
tv?' asked the teacher of the class in histo-
~. "Payin' the fiddle was the prompt
response; and the teacher let it go at that.
Sandy accepted the guide wife's invita-.
tioa with the reservation, IF am spared. y
Wei, weel, said the lady, If ye're dead
III rot expect ye."
1t is rather hard ON Wong Chin Foo to
have TO pay fifty dollars to enter Canada
when American heather are skipping 10
every day or two free gratis.
In Costa Rica there is not single mil
l;nery store. Married men who want
tickets to Costa R:ca should step up to the
Office before the rush begins.
Yes, waiter, l am a msgnetist; would
you like to see me tip the table? Waiter
No, sab; but if it's all de same to you, sab,
yer might tip de waiter, sab.
Tie Indians nave taken to smoking cigar
cites. New lei them stand around sucking
the heads Of their canes and the problem OF
their civilization is solved.
1t is said that small hand indicates re-
finement, and yet we have seen small hands
and held them 100, b thunder, that brought
out language anything but refined.
When cofins can be bought in New York
for forty cents apiece it is hard to excuse
Johann Most for his criminal negligence in
Continuing to live.
He-Wha: will you have, dear, candy or
ice cream? She-No, Edward; get some
popcorn. please. He-Dc you like that
stuff? She-Ycs; l like everything that
pops.
The climate of New jersey salubrious,
is it not?" ne asked. "Salubriousp re-
peatcd the enthusiastic citizen of that State,
why, stranger, We have mosquitoes in
january.
a London paper speaks of "health re-
sorts for horSes'-localitics where men,
! bers Of the firs, equine families are sent for
change # air. Would it be proper to call
sucn resorts hospitals?
An article in an exchange headed "What
the Typewriter Is Doing" doesn't state the
fact that it is exposing the poor spelling of
many operators, as well as their ignorance
OF punctuation and the use Of capital letters.
i am free TO confess that l want the
earth. said one man to another. "Well l
>ec only one hope for you" "What is
,ha,?' Get Jay Gould to make his will
il Your favor"
Wiie 10 third husband)-If you feel so
uawei, J n, think we had better send
Cor my Old family physician. Third Hus.
baud somewhat hastily)-No, my dear, l
woald prefer 10 send for some one else.
Trust Company Agent-Thinking that
you might wait to secure your personal
| property, I desire 10 -ecotnmend--- MIR.
| Duscuberry--lou are little too late; the
Sheriff has just secured It.
Clerk-What can we do for you sir?
Customer-I wish to purchase an overcoat.
Clcrk-Ah, yes! Something in a chinchllla,
sir? CuStomer-No. Something in chin
warmer, if ycu please.
The average girl is now engaged in the
Manufacture Of slipper patterns and whlsk-
broom b, liers, which she will exchange
December 25 for tortoise-shell fans, dia-
| mont earrings aud the like. The average
cir. has good head for business, after all.
Don't marry woman who knows more
that you" says an exchange. But some
men we have met would have dusty old
hunt if they undertook the contract of dis
| covering a woman who knows less than
they know.
Gosh, Maria" exclaimed an old farmer,
visiting Nem York with his spouse, ''here,s