The Warner sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1885-1???, 1887-03-04

I'LL " NO"o "ll' w JIAbJ HCLto "a iOI'H'
Professor, l won't stay here if you
don't let up on that
"And your wife does not look well in
that new WATERFOWL wagon, and so
you take the hired man and n~eighbors'
girl to meeting. Your wife never goes
anywhere, so YOU never give her a
watch like your own. nor a new silk
dress, . a pony she could drive, nor
q basket phTton that she could climb
into without a ladder. She never SAYS
anything, SO you neYer have got her L
set of teeth like your gold and rubber,
but she has got to gum it until her nose
is pushed into her forehead and her
face wrinkles like a burnt boot. She
never goes out, but she don't dye her
hair as you do yours, but it looks like a
miIkwced pod gone to seed. She has
to work II the kitchen, 50 she gets no
nice toothpick shoes like yours. but
goes chumping around like a sheep in
q dry goods box
Darn my skin if l don't
mo, you won't; you will just let her
work right along, and then you will
marry some high-fyer who will pull
every hair out Of your head, and serve
you right too
Professor, for mercy's sake, Stop
when you know, and | know, that
if your wife had a chance to rest, had
nice clothes like other women, she
would be one of the h~andsomest women
in the town"
II swan, | believe it,
And, old as she is, if you were to
get out the carriage next Sunday and
drive around with the colts, and tell her
you wanted her to 60 to meeting with
you, she would actually blush with
pleasure
BLAMED if I don't do it."
Then. Monday, if you were to tell
her you were going to hire a girl, and
that she must sit in the sjtting-room by
that new nickel-platcd coal stove and
work on that new silk dress you are
going to buy her
professor, that's she"
And then hand her Il nice wallet
with steel clasps and with five now $50
notes in, and tell her to do her W
trading after this, because you have
got tired of looking after so much
money
Il will, as sure as O live"
e land then when the tear stands in
her eye and the same old blush comes
out that you thought was so nice when
you went on that teeter to Albany, if
you should kiss her" /,
Its all right, professor
Then my friend, l would begin to
think she had made something by mar
rying a rich man
You're right, old man"
Then l think you would no longer
have a miserable wife. Then you would
no longer want to rent or sell the farm,
but would be showing the mother of
your children how much you respected
her for her life of devotion. Then she
would know she was a partner in that
$4,000. Then if you made your will
all right, and shes had a good rest, /
think she would some time be an ellig-
IDLE widow"
think so, prn1essor?"
Il know it. Woman is a plant that
wants sunshine. You have been leay-
ing your wife in the shade too much.
She has lost her color. You have made
her believe she is an old roman She
has given up all hope of admiration and
love, and is only waiting to die TO get
out of the way. Suppose you were
treated SOP
What, meP / am all right"
Eyes, | know. Women pity you be-
cause you are tied to such a sorry-look-
ing wife. Foolish old maids and silly
girls whisper behind your back what a
nice-looking man you are. and what a
stick of a wife you have got, and you
are just soft enough to wear tight boots
and oil what little hair you have left on
the top of your head and 60 around
figuring up how long before your wife
will die
"Say, now, see here, professor, there
is a limit to endurance. / am going"
II am coming down to see you next
week; will il be all rightp"
Yes. if You drop this kind Of talk
and won't tell Of my complaints about
my wife. / viii try your medicine.
Would you stick to that part Of your