davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
He Would Be y CanuOneer.

Recruit II the request is no, out Of order.
sir. wish you would assign ME to duty with
the Gatling gun squad.
Captain-The squad is already full. Have
you any special reason for the requestt
Recruit-Onlv that think l UNI qualified
to make good cannoneer. sir. l run the
coffee grinder for Shark 4 Biford when I'm
in the city.-Ju,ige
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
killing . Shark.

A negro cook on board Of Scotch
schooner is the author Of a novel way of
killing a shark. He heated a fire brick
red hot, wrapped it up in a greasy cloth
and threw it overheard, when the vora-
cious shark darted after II and swallowed
it. The sharks fury was soon subdued
and he fioated to the surface dead.-New
York Tribune
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

"Rpy,- exclaimed Michigan avenue gro
,er. you've been hanging around here for
half all hour!'
Yes sir"
Looking for chance to steal something"
NO, sir; waiting for another boy, who has
gone home after two cents"
"Oh! And then you will buy something"
YES. sir ! agreed to wait for him here,
and when he comes we're going in next door
and buy candyT-Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Mr. Squaggleton-Dear, dear, how the
world is moving, how science is advancing!
Why. see that they have got instruments
now that You can look clear through . man
with.
Mrs. Squaggleton-H'm,t that's nothing.
haint got no instrument at all, but I've been
able to see through you for many a day.
Then Mr. Squaggleton went out OH the
stoop and scratched his bald head for fifteen
minutes, and thought and thought and
thought Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
What He Would Judge.

"Who is that >oung man that just called on
your asked the senior member Of the firm
He's connected with the Squarup Life In
surance company
What does he dor
n dom, know, but, Judging from his de-
pertinent, should say he must be custodian
Of the assurance. Merchant Traveller
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Tommy's mother has had terrible time
teaching him TO remember always TO say IF
you please at the table. His memory is la
mentally bad.
The other day this dialogue took place at
the table:
Tommy-Mamma, hand me the butter.
Mamma-lf what, Tommy
Tommy-lf you kin reach it-Boston
Transcript.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

NV dear friend" said a man, addressing
tn acquaintance, why don't you do some
thing with your sonr
Wv hat ; the matter with him"
why, noticed that while he was playing
with several little fellows he robbed them of
all their marbles"
"Tha.'s all right
All right! MY gracious. do you want him
to be a robberi"
Yes, that's the drift Of my teachings
You see, am bringing him up TO keep .
summer hotel l"-Arkansaw Tray eler.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
AN OTTAWA LADY,s EXPERIENCE.
How = Pretty Married Woman CON-

How y Pretty Married Woman Con-
WINGED - Detective of Her Identity.
Maud DuinbauSh, who has got back from
one of his regular bi-monthly ~live stock"
trips to Waubaunsee county, Is responsible
for the following, though all the arts Of
science reportoria! failed to draw from him q
disclosure of the chief characters identity:
1t happened at Lawrence" said Maud
with me waiting at the station for the train
TO get ready for Ottawa was a lady, whom
subsequently learned is a fashion leader Of
this city. She is married, and l learn about
3a years old, but her beauty is Of that fresh
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
THE TRAMP AND THE WOMAN.
The Tramp Proves the Ingrstitude Of
HIS Tribe.

The Tramp Proves the IngrAtttude OF
HIS Tribe.
Madam said a tramp as he called at the
back door of Sioux Falls residence, gimme
a bite"
No, SIR, can't do it"
"Whv not, maiamf'
you're able to work, sir-I don't believe
i'll encouraging vagrancy. Go on away now,
or shall scream for help!'
"Ali right. malam-don't holler But l
called ON the woman next door last evening,
and she gave ne very different answer,
madam"
Sine was just fool enough to so and give
You something suppose"
oh, no, madam. she didn't give mo NOT him
neither. hut >he give u mu u different reason.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

He kept q hotel in the business west,
tornado came up about noon
And il took the shebans q run down the street
With the speed Of flying dragoon.
We'll. thar. Talk Nv enterprise" shouted mine
host.
As lie lii from the wreck with veil,
For making things lively l reckon 1t takes
A tornado to run hotdl"
-Sonkers Gaiette.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Lawyer-Now, Mr.. Redford, you say you
have doubts as to whether the late Mr.. Clark
was an American citizen Please state your
reasons for that belief.
Witness-Well, l knew the deceased for
three years and he didn't go to q ball game
in the whole time-Tid Bits.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Il have only one favor to ask said the
c. cs.ndemned murderer
Name ii, said the judge, mildly.
THAT you will not sentence ME to he hanged
on Friday. That always was my unlucky
day, and want to beat 1t for once."-Un-
identified Exchange
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

First Omaha Dame-What . handsome
couple!
Second Omaha Dame-Yes, they are
strangers and are stopping at the ST. Blank
hotel
Both have such happy faces. Idon't sup
pose either of them knows what trouble Is ~
NO, they are only engaged yet"-Omahs
World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

ther marvels of Saturn's rings have
'oted by NJ. Stuyvert, of the Royal
'atory of Brussels, and other astron-
, Dusky notches in the edges Of
tgs, with evidences of variability.
locations which support the view
ar hoop lik- apptadaCes 0:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
Masquerade.

Masquerade.
To the beach when he came
All our hearts grew afiame,
For he was an Apollo in feature;
And the gliding Of birth
Brightly crowned al his worth,
And We vowed him an ele CANT creature.
But, alas, for the spell
From the gilded mark fell,
From our noble guest. handsome and witty,
And We leaxned with chagrin
W. were all trken in
BY vtIdrr Of fruit fIom the city.
Boston budget
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Miss Decompte Ia modeH-Are You &C
quainted with McDauh. the somewh hat noted
animal painter, Mr. Carminet
Mr.. Carmine (unmindful Of the branch Of
art mentionedl-Ah, no, think not. Did you
ever pose for Lin!-Judge
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Seated all alone at dinner,
Wrapped in serious thought vas ],
When voice. So deep and tender.
Murmured. Peach or lemon pier'
Then looked up, pale and trembling;
There he" stool within my sight,
In walters badge all shining,
And a walters apron white.
He had hired there for the summer,
And his wild, poetic heart
Now was struggling through the mazes
OF a dinner Ia carte.
So turned me colily from him.
With a sad and sobhing sigh;
After all INV weary waiting
All said was Lemon pie.'' Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

A citizen was using IA telephone In q stors
on Woodward avenue the other day, and he
kept saying:
Speak louier-can't hear-stand closer
cant catch IA word to save my lfe,"
1t seems queer that you are bothered 80
much, said the owner of the phone, as he
came UP. Aren't you a little deaff'
"'Sh! It's all right" replied the Kan.
The fellow at the other end is a creditor OF
mine, and he wants 70 know if 1 can pay him
t2o today. Detroit Free Press.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

Mamma" said little Bobby, cant have
another piece of pier
mo. my dear. You have had sufficient"
"But why can't have morer
ut might make yOv sick, aud II you become
SICK yoa might die"
q" - Ike Johnny BrownF
.Rvsrybody said - vsut 10 hsavsa, nan-
n"
Eye. dor. He vas . god hst,s boy ssd
always MINDED what his maasaa tod hin.s
@And people said, mamma, that he'd 10
ever so much happier in heaven than here"
THAT is right, Bobby So he would"
DO all good little boys GO to heaven,
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
Hasty Comment.

Mrs. R.-Why, Maj Van Hunt, isn't that
Miss Magna,- Lucref'
Van H.-That was her name, l believe
Mrs R.-Ah. she's married. then; and pray
do tell me what narrow Drained. simpering
idiot could have married that young personi
Van H.-iou refer to the clergyman who
performed the ceremony, presume, as am
her husband Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
Full Of Pluck.

Countryman Ito dentis,l-I wouldn't pay
nothin' extra fer gas Jest yank her out if it
does hurt.
Dentist-You are plucky, sir. Let me see
the tooth
Countryman-Oh, 'taint me that's got the
toothache; its my wife. She'll be here in .
minute-New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03
AnthroPOphagoua.

Little SePhew-Uncle, you must be a sort
Of Gambia /
Uncle ton visit)-A what, sirf Whadyer
mean, Ari
Nephew-Causr ma said you was always
Ivin' on somebody London Punch.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

"Yes. DEAR
Am | good little boy, mammal"
~Yes. Bobby l. good little boy"
Then why don't You let me have anothe
piece Of pie' Don't you want your lirtl
Bobby to he happy!r-Pittsburg Dispatch
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

All Philadelphia Il ermometers this summer
are built five stories high with elevators
Philaielnhia News
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-03

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The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
mysterious Explosion.

PITTsBURG, January ia baggage
car attached to the New York limited
express, which arrived here last night,
was almost blown to pieces by dyna-
mite or some other terrible explosive,
a few miles east of Altoona, Pa. Bag
gagemaster Harry Mingus, who was in
the car at the time, was BADLY hurt. A
trunk was put on the train at Duncan,
near Harrisburg, and-was Checked
through to Pittsburg. Mingus was ar
ranging the trunks in the car. He
picked up a small ordinary trunk, and
threw it on top of some other baggage,
when an explosion followed, which
lifted the top of the car as though it was
made of paper, and scattered the frag-
ments IN all directions. The shock was
terrible, and startled the engineer and
trainmen. 1t also attracted the atten
ton of passengers, and when it
was found that the baggage car
had been almost blown 10 pieces,
the greatest excitement prevailed. The
train was stopped and the baggage
transferred to another car. Magnus is
seriously injured, but will recover. A
brakeman who was in the car at the
time escaped by being thrown behind
stack of trunks. The damaged car
was side-tracked and the tram then
proceeded on its way. Pennsylvania
railroad officials have determined to
sift the matter to the bottom. The
owner of the trunk was arrested when
be presented his check for his trunk at
the baggage room of this morning. He
said he was an Hungarian coal miner
and that his name was John Hagman.
He came from Hazleton in search OF
work, and strenousiy denied that there
was any explosive in the trunk. 1t con-
tanned, he claimed, nothing but cloth
ing and matches. Pending an inYestiga-
ton, he will be detained.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
President Adams. Argument.

WASHINGTON, January 49, Charles
Francis Adams, President of the Union
Pacific, and Judge Dillon, his counsel,
appeared to-day before the sub-com-
mittee of the House judiciary commit
tee, composed of Bates, Bennett and
Hepburn, to make an argument upon
the resolution Introduced in the House
last session instrueting the Attorney
General to prosecute the president and
directors Of the Union Pacific for issu-
ing S5, 600, 900 at one time and $4,000 900
at another, of trust bonds, in violation
of law, and also for declaring dividend
in the presence of floating debt, and
for guaranteeing interest on the Oregon
Short Line bonds, all of which are al
legged violation of the statutes and
upon their face apparently violative of
the provisions of the act of 1876, and of
the Thurman act. Adams made brief
statement to the subcommittee, in
which he did not deny the facts, but de-
clared the action of the company was
taken in pursuance of legal opinions
given by its counsel. Judge Dillon fol-
lowed Adams with long legal argu-
ment to satisfy the subcommittee that
the company's course was not in viola
ton of law, and that, it had the legal
right to act as it had in the matters
complained of in the resolution.
Daring the course of his argument he
cited many authorities which the sub
committee has not yet had an oppor-
tunity to examine, but Chairman Oates
stated that if they bore out the con-
tention of Dillon the actions complained
of would be justified and Dillon
will be allowed to file a written
brief, and as its examination will re-
quire some time report from the sub
committee is not expected before next
week.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
The Rough Road of True Love.

CHICAGO, January 19.-Sherif Matson
declares that he will not permit the
marriage of the condo ned Anarchist
Spies, and the young woman named
Nina Van Zandf tn 0onnr sc long a.
Spies remains in jail. under his charge.
The sheriff expresses surprise that the
parents of the girl should allow her to
visit the condemned criminal. When
Miss Van Zanct appeared at the Jail
this morning she was refused admit
lance By the guards, as orders have been
issued to allow no one to see the An
archist.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
grace %.

You are feeling depressed, your ape
lite is poor, you are bothered VIII
Headache, your are fdgetty, nervoaA
and generally out of sorts, and want q
brace up. Brace up, but not with stszAr
ulants, spring medicines, or bitters,
which have for their basis very cheap,
bad whisky, and which stimulate yea
for an hour, and then leave you IN
worse condition than before. What y0a
want is an alternative that viii purity
your blood, start healthy action q
tty, and give renewed health and
strength. Such medicine you will AHA
in Electric Bitters, and only 30 csnts Q
bottle at z. O. II. I. DRUG Store. Q
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

THE BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all skin erup
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. tits guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price twenty-five cents per box.
For sale by q. g. M. L.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

WILL YOU SUFFER with Dyspep-
STA and Liver Complaint Shiloh's
Vitalizer is guaranteed to cure you.
Sold by A. G. Smith & Co., druggists.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

For lame back, side or chest, use
Shiloh's Porous Plaster. Price rs cents.
Sold by A. g. Smith & Co., druggists. 5
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
Cox ImnroYing

WASHINGTON, January Il9-S. S. Cox
IS reported somewhat better to-day.
His improvement, while slow, is steady.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

USE the Arnold Cooker and Coffee
Pot.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

USE the Arnold Cooker and Coffee
Pot. 90,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
THE wASATCH
PATENT ROLLER MILLS
eest Grades of Roller Pro.
CESS E1our.

DRANDS, HIGH PATENT & STRAIGHT
ID Grades, all warranted as good as any
made III Utah.
ER- The Highest Cash Price paid for
Good Wheat.
Telephone to the Mills, No. 106 ONCE.
daho Bakery, No. 20 Second South Street.
4 HUSTLER & CO., Props.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
Bucklen's Arnica salye.

USE the Arnold Cooker and Coffee
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20

f.ra A SCyllSh ulster,
will consult their interest by calling at
l.. GOLDBERG's.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1887-01-20
Clothing.
Gentlemen desiring to purchase

Clothing.
Gentlemen desiring to purchase
A Handsome Dress Suit, II
A Handsome Business Suit,
A Fashionable Overcoat, or
r.. A Stylish Ulster, @
will consult their interest by calling at
l.. GoLDBERG's.
SyrupOr Figs,
Manufactured by the California Fla
Syrup Co., San Francisco, Cal, is Ma
lures Own True Laxative This pleas
ant California liquid fruit remedy may
be had of A. G. Smith & Co., at so cents
or 81. It Is thu most pleasant,
prompt, and effective remedy known to
cleanse the system to act on the Liver,
Kidneys, and Bowels gently yet thor
0ughly; to dispel Headaches. Colds, and
Fevers; 70 cure Constipation. Indises-
don, and kindred Ills. 10
USE the Arnold Cooker and Coffee
Pot. 30.
Southern ladies' journal. (Little Rock, Ark.) 1886-18??, 1887-01-08
THE ST. LOUIS, iron MOUNTAIN & SOUTHERN RAILWAY

central country having Towns Churches Societies. United
States Mails Telegraph and Good People, with mild climate
rich Soils many crops good water free range fish and game
fine TIMBER rich mines, choice fruits high lands and low
lands waerpowers railroads and good markets Wheat
Maize and Cotton flourish in the field.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-07-09
Ex.EMPRESS CARLOTTA.
Faint Prospects That Her Mind May
Shortly BE Improved.

Faint Prospects That Her Mind May
Shortly BE Improved.
A correspondent writing from Brus-
sells gives some interesting particulars
concerning the condition of health OF
the unfortunate ex-Empress Carlotta OF
Mexico, who became insane after the
execution of her husband, Maximilian.
She is at present confined at the Cha
teau de Bouchot. The correspondent saw
the ex-Empress when she was walking
in the gardens of the chateau. She was
accompanied by two ladies-in-waiting,
her page and two footmen. The ladies'
in-waiting, who belong to the Belgian
aristocracy, are some twelve in num-
Der. The ex-Empress, in her walk,
passed very near the correspondent,
and he was able to verify by actual
observation the reports rs to the inn
provement in her condition which have
been circulated during the past year.
He says that she is not changed much.
Her figure is slightly stouter. and she
walks in cold, impassive manner.
looking directly ahead, rs if her atten-
tlOll Was AACt Oh Soitio uiSeNh" 'bJSSs'
She walks with short steps and
without speaking. She passed through
groups of the most exquisite flowers
without showing the slightest notice,
but us she returned to the house
her cold face took on look of pleasure
and satisfaction at the noisy welcome
given her by group of peacocks. She
looked ut them for long time and
then turned abruptly into the drawing
room, where one of the ladies-in-waitlng
played for her an air from "Mignon.'
She listened to this with pleasure, beat
ing time with her hand. She talks Q
little with those about her of dress
music and of the incidents of the day
indicating current of ideas altogether
foreign to her condition year ago
She is now forty-seven years of age
Her physicians are beginning to have
hopes that she will recover within /
short time her full mental powers. =
London Cor. ~ y. World.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1887-07-09

Pressing 1t TO his lips, he said: "Boys, its
all over with me. Take care Of her who
will wea- this, for my sake" and he laid
the gay colors upon my sisters shoulder.
"Don't give up, Captain" said one Of the
men. "a doctor will be here directly, and
you will be all right"
A smile, wan and ghastly, fitted across
his mouth.
"Yes, boys. am all right. Heaven has
been good to me. What more can l ask1"
and he raised my sisters hand to his ICY
lips.
"Hold on, Captain, here comes the doctor.
There take one more sup of brandy. He's
one of tho regular SORT too; one of our
Yankee prisoners. Brace up, he'll pull you
through"
The little group separated to make way
for the doctor. II was my father. A look
of resentment flashed over the wounded
mans face. but my fathers heartfelt tones
Of anguish melted all hearts.
80, Richard, my boy, my darling boy" he
exclaimed, "ths is dreadful, dreadful
All animosities and prejudices were for
gotten and forgiven in that one sentence.
Now Richard was boy again, running over
the greensward between our homes. His
mind had given way under the stress and
fever of his hurt, and he talked on in the
OlQ way AS HC udu Oitcu uOuc III bHC lOug
ago. He seemed to think we were all at
home on the little veranda, as we had sat
and lounged many day before.
''You and Jane must go home with me,
doctor. MY mother told me to bring you.
We must not disappoint her."
eyes, my boy, we will go' and the stern
father and physician, turned away his face
to weep. The sufferer rambled ON in happy
fashion, until near sunset. Then, thrill
of recognition again seized him, and he
seemed to realize his surroundings. Look
ing long and steadfastly at my sister, he
said:
"You will wear the gray for my sake,
Jane" and his voice was lost forever.
Few were the preparations for the home.
ward journey. A parole was easily secured
for my father. "The lights OF sunset and
of sunrise, mixed in that brief summer
| night that paused among her stars" to
guide the dolorOus voyage.
Upon the bluff which overlooks the turbid
| Missouri, white slab marks the resting
place of Confederate officer, while the
| lingering rays Of the setting sun, ON calm
June evenings, throws in bold relief against
the sky, the gray, Quaker-looking garb OF
| gray-haired woman, who still strews the
| red and white roses on the lonely grave, as
she has done for more than twenty years.
"Sweet is true love, tho given in vain, in vain
| And sweet Is death, who puts an end to pain,
| know not which is sweeter, no, not l."
| NJ. s. BROOKS.