davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
BRIGHT BITS.

Miss NINA VAN ZANDT has felon on her
hands, ChIcdGo Inter Ocean.
ALTHOUGH not laxative at all, the oyster
Is very pleasant companion at dinner
Puck.
NO MAN will permit stranger to lie about
his friends. That is special privilege of
friendship Sftttngs.
SINCE the advent OF Lent a great many
women have done their repenting in sealcloth
and sashes.-P hGtddeLpbtG HerdId.
IT is about time to go up In the attic and
begin hunting for your straw hat. 1t will
probably take you about two months to find
it.-B~' kin0t"n Free Press.
BONNET has been named in honor of the
Postmaster General. We trust it is not as
Villas some of the bonnets that infest the
theatre.-BOSt07 Transcript.
BIGsBY-Dld L understand you to say that
Blobson was an aslnine monstr0sity?
PoplnJay-Oh, no, not SO bad as that; just a
plain fool.-BUI Lj1l0ton Free Press.
BRIDGET did you get the flowers that
am to wear to-night in my hair?"
~ es. Mum. but"
"But whstP''
"pve mislaid the hair, Mum."-Tenas Sify-
in9s.
LITTLE MANI understand. sir, that you
have called me an unmltigated liar?
Big Man-No, didn't use the word unmiti-
gated2
Little Man-Then accept your apology
H0yDer'S Bdsdr.
MRS. YEAsT-Ths is very nice cake. Did
you get the recipe out of a cook bookp
Miss Fussanfeather-No; ] made it out of
my head.
-Yonhers Statesman.
A YOUNG Burlington miss was asked a day
or two since whether the whale was a fish or
animal, and SAID, as all Burlington misses
would, that it was an animal. When asked
swallowed Jonah whole. "-Bwr Ltn0ton Free
Press.
WIGwUG-I don't know what I'm to do
about that bill L owe at Sontag's, he annoys
me fearfully.
wfe.-well, you know if he becomes un-
| bearable you can pay it.
WIgwug-Yes, can do that,-Detroat Free
Press. Js
BRowN-I saw Smler this morning. He
astonlshed me by telling me that he had not
drank anything in five months-or was it five
months IL was FIVE something, anyhow.
FoGg-Perhaps it was five minutes.
Brownie s come to think Of it, that was
1t. But the surprise was just as great as
though 1t had been five years.-B0St0n Tran
script.
$50 your husband hasn't any wurruk, Mrs.
Sullivan, all on account of the sthrike? Nay
Their has NINE, bad luck to it,"
"WeI, how is it, then, yes walkin about
ookin so happy loike, with new saleskln
SO, ft'sjist the walkin' as does it,. Me hus-
bands digit, ye sea walkin' wan.'-Hdr-
pe''s Weekly.
THERE was a fair maid who would buy
Sweet cake, every day. on the sluy;
But she swelled up and died.
And will meier be q Dried.
But cold in the ground will she luy!
The moral Is-Mads, cat not puy
And cake. if YOU don't want to duy;
Eat of meat and OF bread,
And You'll live to be wcad
And children bring up on the fluy.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
POlYnamY Doomed.

The impression is growing in Utah that
the Edmunds-Tucker law will accomplish
the purpose for which it is intended. 1t
may have TO be amended in some particu-
lars, but if Congress Is satisfied that, II
properly administered, 1t Will put an end
| TO polygamy, there will be no difficulty in
securing whatever amendments may be
deemed necessary.
The Mormon leaders are, OF course, in
an ugly temper. Until the Edmunds-
Tucker bill became law they hoped to
defeat it. They fought 1t at every step OF
it's progress, and tried to have the Presi-
dent to veto 1t. The President, however,
isn't vetoing bills OF that kind, and the
! arguments of the Mormon agents again st
the bill did not influence him in the least.
Troublous times may be looked for in
Utah. The Mormons declare that they
will resist the enforcement Of the new
law, and it would not be surprising If
there were conflicts between them and
the Federal authorities. The leaders,
| however, will soou be forced to recognize
that the power OF the government is too
great to be successfully resisted, and
that they will have to abandon polygamy
or seek country where it can be prac-
tIced without any interference from the
constituted authorities.
The fight against polygamy has been
going on for lcsg time, aud the people
OF the whole country, with the exception
of the Mormons, will rejoice if the Ed
munds-Tucker law is found TO be genu-
Inc remedy for the evil. The government
ought to have dealt with it more vigo-
rously years ago, before the Mormons
became 80 strong. 1t is not too late now,
however, to put an end to an institution
that is repugnsnt to right-think king people
the world over.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
The President Warned

In view of what Col. Lamont, the
Presidents private secretary, says, one
Is left in doubt whether the Washington
doctor, Mr.. u. T, Sewers, was after little
free advertising when he told the news
paper correspondents the other day that
if the President didn't take more eXer-
else his chances Of living through his
term would not be very good, or whether,
sincerely believing that the President is
In danger, he was only DESTROYS OF having
him avoid 1t by changing, to some extent,
the routine course of his daily life.
The doctor said that the President was
combining himself too closely to his official
duties, and that so much brain work with
out any exercise 10 strengthen his
muscles would most likely result
In apoplexy. On the other hand
Col. Lamont authorizes the statement
that the President isn't as fat as he
was when he was inaugurated, and that,
although he doesn't tramp around Wash
ington as Grant and some of the other
Presidents used to, he does 90 out into the
country once in q while and take long
tramp over the fields and through the
woods.
1t Is certain that the correspondents at
Washington do not agree with Col. La
mont with respect to the Presidents
weight. They insist that he is all the
time growing stouter, but it must lie adj
mitted that Col. Lamont is the better au-
thority, because he has an opportunity to
know whether the President is increasing
in flesh or not.
The President is a hard worker, and,
being strong and in vigorous health, does
not realize the danger to which DR..
Sewers calls attention. 1t would be well,
however, for him to heed the DOCTORS
warning. Both Mr.. Beecher and Mr.. Man.
nlng were in good health when attacked,
and, a few hours before their sickness, had
noreason to suppose that they were threat
ened by any danger. Mr.. Beecher was
much the same sort Of man physically
that the President is, and Mr.. Manning is
a thick-necked, stout man. The President
will act wisely by walking more and
plodding over his work less.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
After the Government.

There was time when the leaders of
the knights of Labor denied that 1t was
the purpose of the order to interfere in
politics. The organization, however, has
frequently taken a prominent part in
politics, and there is no reason to doubt
that it has done 80 with the knowledge
and consent of it's leaders. Recently Mr..
Barry, one of the general officers of the
order, thus expressed himself:
Gin the early days of our order the local
assemblies were scattered over the coun-
try without any connection with one an
other. One local assembly didn't know
OF the existence OF another, as everything
was carried on among us with absolute
secrecy, and even the name of the order
was never spoken. There was no commu-
nication with any central body and there
was no head or centre to our organiza-
ton. l lived in Cleveland, o., then, and
we had no communication with anybody.
We couldn't understand why we were not
in communication with some general
power. We were working along in our
own way, and we had all sorts of ideas.
Some OF the members used to think that
bOhc uuhhO"u pOWcI VI luHu6HCo WOulO
some time bring US together, aud that our
interests would be consolidated. Others
had an idea that when the organization
was perfected we would be so strong nu-
merically that we would get possession
of the government and run it in the inter-
ests of the laboring people. Others still
had the notion that the ultimate object OF
our organization was to hang all the mil
lionaires OF the country. We have aban-
doned the idea of hanging the million
aires, but we are still after the govern
menu."
MIR. BarTy's honesty is commendable.
1.-THE knights of Labor are striving to
obtain control of the government there is
no reason why they should work In So
cret. Secret political parties never did
thrive IN this country, and the knights
OF Labor are not likely to prove an eX-
ception. The average citizen of the
United States wants to know all about
the tenets of the political party with
which he casts his fortunes, and he objects
to having its leaders set themselves up
as autocrats. He wants to know what
IL going on, and he holds the leaders ac.
cOuutable to him. AS long as this con-
ditiOn of affairs exists the knights of
Labor can never weld much power in
politics until they eschew secrecy and
cease to be puppets in the hands of their
general officers.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
The New NAVY,

The Secretary OF the Navy is pleased
with the progress he ID making in build
ing the new navy. The bids he opened on
Tuesday for steel gun forgIngs and steel
amor plate are highly satisfactory. He
has all along had doubts about his ability
to get the necessary steel work done IN
this country because OF the want of q suf.
fcently large plant, but he
has assurances now that Ameri-
can capital and American workmen
will be able to comply with all his de-
mands, He is doubtless all the more
gratfed at this condition OF affairs, be-
cause several Of the leading Republican
journals have been trying to annoy and
embarrass him by asserting that he is
disposed to patronize foreign manutac-
turers and shipbuilders rather than
those OF this country. The only founda-
ton they have for assertions Of this sort
Is the purchase OF plans of two armored
vessels from an English bodybuilding
firm. These plans could not have been
obtained in this country, because the
science Of building armored vessels has
not been brought to such perfection here
as in England.
or course there ought not to be too
great haste In building the new navy.
improvements are all the time being
made. There has been immense progress
since the Atlanta was designed three
years ago. That vessel, with 664 tons Of
machinery, has only 3,5OO-horse power
guaranteed, while the Charleston, which
is just beginning to be built at San Fran
cisco, is to develop 7,000-horse power with
only 700 tons of machinery. While 1t is
possible to make progress like this it pays
not to push the building OF the navy along
too fast.
When all the vessels that are thus
far authorized are finished the new navy
will consist OF sixteen steel cruz
sers, five monitors, two heavily armed
vessels and two torpedo boats.
The steel cruisers are not ex-
pected to cope with such vessels as some
OF the heavy armored ships of the British
navy, although it is said that three of
them would be more than a match for the
most powerful armed ship atiOat. They
are intended rather as commerce destroy
ers.
Not much confidence is placed in torpe-
does. The means of avoiding them are
so perfect that they are no longer greatly
feared. Still 1t is impossible to say what
new developments there may be in the
effectiveness of the torpedo in the near
future. American ingenuity is working
at it, and may make it more dangerous
to armored navies than the heaviest guns.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

The Ladies' Memorial Association of
Manassas, Va, Is endeavoring to raise
funds to place a stone wall around the
Confederate cemetery on the historic
hills near Bull Run. Two hundred dol
lars from each Southern State will suffice
to complete 1t as 1t ought to be, Con-
tributions may be sent to Gov. Fitzhugh
Lee, or to Gen. W. III. +. Lee. Many
Georgians lost their lives at Bull Run,
and by no means a few Of them sleep
where they fell. 1t ought not to be a
difficult matter to raise the 5000 required
OF Georgia. The military commands that
fought at Byll Run should take the lead
in the matter.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
And when leaving all this weaving
Pitted Against CsrIisle.

New York Cor. Cincinnati Enquirer.
The effort to put Speaker Carlisle to n con-
test for the gavel in the next House of Repre-
seuoIs,Iein a state of form ulation. h as
hardly yet cTTFSslllzed. Because OF his re-
fusal to allow vote to be taken on the to-
bacco tax repeal there has arisen detection in
the Carolina states and Virginia. The man
talked OF to be pittsd against him is Burns. OF
Missouri. Burns is o. Irish nativity, and,
Judging from the Celtic flavor OF his brogue.
Is probably natural born son of Erin lie ia
a man OF massive build Of head and BODY.
having round. full face, tinted with the
nushes OF health. Two terms in Congress
have put him IN the front rank, as one who
has grasped the details of legislation. ac-
CURED as painstaking lieutenant OF sam
Randall on the A Appropriation Committee.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

Carter II. Harrison, the Mayor of Chi
cago, takes gloomy view of the futuN
OF that city. To an interviewer he thus
recently expressed himself; Il am 81
years old. A life of quiet for few years
may give me a happy and vigorous old
age. A terrible strain during the next
two years may make me decrepit vale
tudinarian. My fear is that we will have
some terrible trouble in this city In the
next two years If the Supreme Court
gives the Anarchists new trial. Judge
Garry has told me they could never have
another trial; they could not get a jury.
The men would give out that they were
indicated, and on the other hand, il they
were hung, we may stave conclusions. |
have been successful in being able to
quell all disturbances with the police.
The future may develop something differ
ent. II | should be elected Mayor again
l should feel that l would not dare TO be
away from Chicago where a half-day's
ride could not bring me home"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

President Cleveland seems to be- alive
10 Republican criticism. v Rath bone
Gardner, son OF the postmaster of Provi-
hence, r. l., both Republicans, con-
demned the administration because it
neglected to fill the offices in Rhode
Island with Democrats. President Cleve-
land at once removed Gardeners father,
and appointed Democrat in his place.
The young man now goes around with a
Olosed mouth.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

Advices from Russia are to the effect
that the army Is "honeycombed with
revolution" One general officer IN active
service, three cavalry officers, and seven
teen infantry, artillery and engineer
officers have been arrested and shot on
alleged proof of treason within the last
few days. 1t is only question OF time
when Russia will be free country. One
man power cannot exist great while in
this age OF the world.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

The citizens of Titusyille, Pa, have
gone a step farther than anybody else in
the business of hanging in ettigy A COM
mittee, self-styled The "Producers' Com
mittee," convened in New York last week
to adjust differences between the oil pro-
ducers OF Titusvlle and the Standard Oil
Company. The citizens OF Titusville re-
pudiated the committee and hung the
members In effigy.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

Mobile, Ala, has chief OF police who
ought TO have imitators in other cities.
In a recent address to his subordinates
he said: your attention is called TO the
fact that we are servants OF the people,
and our authority comes direct from the
people, each of whom, be he or she ever
so humble, is entitled to all Kindness and
official courtesy" II such a chief of
police should visit New YORK be could
easily make money by exhibiting him.
Golf
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

Gen. Bragg, of Wisconsin, is at his
home in Fond du Lac. His eyesight is
thought to be slightly improved. A few
days ago friend sent him paper con-
tanning a dispatch from Washington de-
scribing him as completely broken in
mind and body. He at once dictated the
following reply: "To put at rest the pal
pitatlng heart Of the man who sent the
dispatch suggesting my being paraly tic,
l take pleasure IN being able TO state that
| declined weeks ago the Washington
Judgeship he seems so fearful will ac-
cept. Also, that my bodily health and
mental vlgor are neither impaired by age
nor disease, as 1 trust to prove TO my
friends the first time an opportunity "
presented by the Democracy Of Wiscon.
SIM
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

from the Ne1O York Tribune (ReD.l
The Car naturally regards with utmost
horror the recent conspiracy against his life.
Yet within the past year his own paid SER
wants, with his patronage and protection,
have laid deadly plots against the lawful
rulers of neighborlng nation. The world
regards the deeds of Nihi|ist assassins with
detestation, but 1t 10 not easy to draw a moral
distinction between them and the acts of the
Cars own agents IN Bulgaria and Roumania
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
Confidence and Hesitation.

Fran the Chfca0o tribune tRtp,)
IT'S now the bold law student will the
clauses all translate of that most mystifying
OH that's known HIS interstate. Meanwhile
the veteran of the bar, made by experience
shrewd, notes what those same provisions are
and hasn't yet construed. IT'S now as ever,
II you please, the fool with empty head will
take q stroll with jaunty ease where no one
else dare tread
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

The Philadelphia Record says that one
Of the reasons why the Republican Legis-
iature OF Pennsylvania cut out a Demo.
cratic district for Mr.. Randall is because
he has exerted his influence to keep Re-
publicans in office in Philadelphia. The
Record says that seven Republicans are
retained in the Philadelphia mint alone.
Mr.. Randall is curious kind Of Demo-
crat-so curious, indeed, that IL is 70 be
hoped there are not many like him.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

1t Will not do to perpetrste jokes in
New Jersey. The other day the New
Brunswick News announced that two OF
me clerks In the post Office Of That city
we're selling thirteen postage stamps for
cent aud quarter II was proposed TO
arrest the clerks for defrauding the gov
eminent, but they were saved by the ex-
PLANTATION that there are twenty-slx cents
~ cent and a quarter. The clerks now
propose to sue the News Tor damages.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

1t is thought that the Coronet and the
Dauntless are now half way across the
Atlantic. The yachts have been sighted
several times since they started on the
race. New York was excited the other
day by the rumor that the Dauntless had
carried away her masts, but the excite.
ment gave place to amusement when 1t
was suggested that she would bring them
back with hor.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
INDEX TONEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MEETINGS Zerubbabel Lodge No. To- T.
and A. NJ.
SPECIAL NoTICBs-Dr. Best Has Kesumeu
Practice; Removal, Henry hcAlpin' A"or-
ney- at-Law; Notice, A. &.
CHEAP COLUMN ADyERTIsEAENTS-hel
Wanted; For Rent; For Sale; Personal
Miscellaneous.
INITIAL CARD RECEIVER y W. +. Moss,
Thomasville, Ga.
RUBBER HoSE-Palmer Bros.
PEERLESS DYEs-At 100. Package.
GRooEsIEs-K. Power.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

In recent sermon a French preacher
exclaimed: "Oh! deplorable Zionl Where
is to-day the sabre of justice, the sword OF
virtue, the musket of faith, the rifle of
hope, the carbine Of charity, the scissors
Df penitence, the broom OF confession ~
Ben. Boulanger can answer, perhaps, as
10 the sabre, the musket, the sword aud
ahe carbIne. The other articles may be
hidden in mis- wife's bondoir.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
SCROFULOUs UICERs

James e. Richardson, Custom House. Neu
Orleans, on oath says: I'm 1870 Scrofulous
Ulcers broke out on my body until wss
mass Of corruption. Every thing known to
came mere wreck. AT times could not liz
my hands to my head, could not turn in he'd.
was in constant pain, and looked upon life az
curse. No relief or cure in ten years, In
them, and was perfectly cured" ''
Sworn to before u. s. Com. J. ID. CRAwEoDr
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
Arthur Ross is a negro VINO lixes /

Arthur Ross is a negro VINO lives in
Cincinnati. He went to the theatre the
other night, and became very indignant
when one of the actresses sang "Dars a
New Coon Come to Town." He proposes
TO sue for $4,000 damages. The name OF
j the actress who warbled the song is sup
pressed for fear that the story may be an
/ advertising dodge.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

1t is reported that the Prohibitionists
intend to try to capture Savannah, Au-
gusta, Macon and Columbus during the
present year. Sam Jones and Sam Small
and q number OF prominent Prohibition
lists from the North and West are ex-
pected to assist in the work.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
Way Down Bottom Facts.

Fr0nt tbe Ne2O YORK Herald (Ind
IL the way down bottom facts were known
many an office seeker would explain his
earnestness TO save the country in the lang
uage of the candid Mis-issippian: "At the
earnest solicitation of my many creditors l
County Treasurer"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

1t is said that the next Governor of
Kentucky will be young man named
Stamford. The hsndsomest woman in
the State Is his wife, and she is said to
have influence enough to make the Ken
tuckians vote for her husband whether
thew wish TO or not
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24
CURRENT COMMENT.
Can ThIaha True?

From the NeqO YORK Star (Dem.l
A Democrat looks upon all men as equal,
and has no more respect for the vices OF the
rich than for the vices OF the poor. But those
who make our laws hate vice only when IL Is
clad in rags-when clothed in purple and fine
linen they rush to embrace 1t.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

Georgia is the greatest southern State,
and not even Alabama can forge ahead
sf her. At Tunnel Hill inexhaustible
beds of manganese have Just been discov-
cred, and real estate in that neighborhpod
IS now sold by the foot front. lJH
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-24

The waynesboro (Ga.) True Citizen,
speaking of the efforts OF the MORNING
NEWS in behalf of the movement to do
away with fences in Chatham county,
says: "We bid God speed the movement,
sand hope it may expand and take in the
whole of Burke countyo