Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1887-12-16

1.-The first i've years are The oarkest
in young doctors life" said a'well-
known physician. "lt does not matter
how nicely he is getting on, he is sure
TO have built his expectations TOO high.
A medical man always thinks he is do
ing better than he is. Leaving the simon
pure charity cases oLt OF the question
altogether, have always thought my
self lucky il collected one half Of my
accounts. While a reputable doctor
looks upon advertising in general way
as something tabooed, many of us, l
doubt not, in our young days have re-
sorted to driving rapidly through va
rious streets in the middle of the day. |
never knew this litIle scheme 10 hang
fire, and by the time | got back to the
office frequently found two or three
calls on the slate.
IAN oflicious friend Of mine," con-
tinued the doctor, "once advised me 10
settle i'm the country. where the compe-
titon wasn't so great. In six months |
came near starving to death. The place
was so sparsely peopled and the patients
so far apart that NV time and clothes
were worth more than my fees. By
selling my library managed TO buy a
horse and buggy, and 20 to work on the
cooperative plan. | divided the county
of into four districts, each of which |
visited once week. My method was
to keep family In thorough repair for
stipulated sum per month. Nearly
all the inhabitants became subscribers,
and might have thrived well on my
little monopoly If another smart doctor
hadn't stepped in and reduced the rate.
| returned to the city, there settled
down and married, and after having
had couple of well-kuown men die on
my hands, | found myself famous and
in possession of Il lucrative practice.
mo, | don't think there is as much
bleeding of patients as is commonly sup
posed. OF course human nature Is the
same In a doctor rs in any one else. He
is always number one, and the patient
number two. There are some people
whom you have got TO keep on the sick
list all the time. They would not be
happy unless they could tell their
friends all about the tOrpility OF their
liver aud the unsouudness of their
lungs. A doctor must humor such pa
tients, and assure them they are really
Ill whenever they take a fancy to being
so. This is a kind of bleeding that will
never stop so long as there are such
people in the world The old doctor l
studied under used to tell good story
at his own expense. In his early days
of struggle friend twitted him upon
taking so long to cure patient. why,
man, replied the old doctor, 4 have so
few patients that can't AFFORD to cure,
any of them
Speaking of quacks," continued the
doctor after a pause, "yOu would be
surprised what strong hold the en-
pirical fraternity has upon nervous
people. They are easily convinced that
tSere is something awful the matter
with them. An aggravated case Of this
kind recently came under my notice.
A man, whose business often called him
from home for months az time, rushed
wildly into my Office one day and beg
ged me 10 visit his wife. He said that
it couldn't get her ont of her megi inns
he would either have 10 procure a di-
vOrce or commit suicide. Ii seemed
that the woman, during one Of her hus-
bands periodical absences, fell into The
clutches Of Il female lecturer, who bled
her for all she was worth. When the
husband returned he found her the
shadow Of her former self. She was
melancholy and peevish, and was slowly
wearing herself away. The whole
house was turned into an apothecary
shop, and the woman herself was
walking advertisement of the empiric's
wares. At night she made herself hide
Gus by wearing q pomple2iO mask and
medlcated gloves that made her hands
look like sugar-cured hams. There was
scarcely an lEch of her whole body that
was as nature made II. When | exam
ined her she had on a liver pad, two
lung pads, porous plaster for a weak
back, another for weak stomach (for
the sake Of symmetry, suppose) belts
and bands on arms ard legs 10 prevent
yaricose veins, night boots TO keep the
feet warm, and magnetic clothing
wherever there was room for II. The
bed itself was feariully and wonderfully
made, with all patent appliances. ]
felt very sorry for the husband, who
seemed to think great deal OF his wife.
He WAS very patient with her, although
more than once he confessed IL was hard
for man to love, cherish and protect
woman who logged herself out In
in such fashion. II was hard case
to treat, but we finally conquered."-
NeV York Erening Sun.
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