The Daily times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1886-1889, 1887-08-20

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in doing things which he afterward bitterly
regrets, admitting always. however. that hi.
wife got him into it. No other anthropoid
plantisrade, pachyderm or mollusk can ever
hope 10 compete with high proved. thinking
man In mixing large oval chump Of him.
self and then coming right out frankly and
admitting TINT his wife is 10 blame for it No
other male mammal when itpouuds its thumb
with tack hammer turns and throws tine
hammer at the female Of its specie.
Why should we buy "A ticket over the Red
! Hot Valley and Skewgee railroad and pay ex-
ira baggage on si32 worth Of new clothes.
when the Manhattan elevated scenic roufe
with kind hearted and scholarly guides. ready
at any and all times 20 gather in a few
thumbs from the ereat moist masses bv
means Of those cute little iron gates. stands
ready 10 take US % and beyond the Harlem,
ON the redirect examination. / might also
al. why We should go away fifty miles in or.
der % ride ON a make believe horse in the
merry gorouud, when we can stay M home
and ride in the voluptuous boLtan car for five
cents. To ride in a bobtai car is 10 teacb ono
how small be is and what an insignificant
atom hc Is on Tie face of the earth He may
leave the pulpit or the forum with the an
plluse Of the multtudes still ringing in his
ears, but when he enters the bobtail ear he
sinks his identity and becomes plain Amer
lean citizen with another American Citizen
standing On each Of his feet
He need not 90 away 10 Saratoga in order
r. in l..
who, Do bis time. has looked through and
through some OF our most eminent men. but
60 ou about four blocks down the street He
can pay five cents 10 a bohtai car. and in
the presence of a driver and the old man
with q mouth ike a midnight as,as,ination
who stands on the rear platform and smokes
II pride OF the pesthouse cigar, if he cannot
cover enough IN twenty minutes 10 last him
SIX weeks he is a mighty difficult man TO
plta,'
IL j. here, also, that we are thrown in con-
tact with the corpulent Oh lady who tries to I
pat nickel into the contribution box lust as
the car starts. but who suddenly changes her
ll iid and deposits il in tic eye Of a man who
la, malo mctali,n "A study, but not before
At such close range.
Tire lreat speciality of the bobtail car is TO
,ceu IFS temper tin Won go to pay YOUR assess
mem, and then rise up and belt you across
me brain, That is the reason it is frequently
'allel the Belt line.
There is NO less restraint on bobtail car
han ut q fashionable resort Yesterday a
lumson man with feathers in his hair. large
nusqnito bites on the back Of his neck and
III Illicit breath, leaned his weary head on
my breast and with a little huttering sigh
Use a tired child went TO sleep He slept
r.a about forty rods below Spuyten buy
j to point where the country line road
ra,..- section six Thera 1 woke him ND
ud gently taking his rocuish hand out Of NV
Orhe', | leaned him over the other way.
'ith E., bead against the shoulder Of an Old
sdy who had rested "a big paper bag Of moist
'd mushy pears ON my knee for two miles,
nd got oil the ear feeling as well pleased in A,
very way q. / would had been on a long.
icu,ive excursion $
There is also the woman who is intent on !
imting how she viii chisel some great dry d
,os emporium out Of twenty even cents
orih of samples, and who gets OF the car
rgctmg her baby, which is asleep ON the !
AT Sine always rides ia "a bobtail car, and i
though shc frequently leaves her baby on q
be seat that way and always wildly attacks
c driver about it the next day, and very :
rely gets the baby returned 70 her, she does p
1t seem 10 refrain from riding in the bobtail
Dr., ANA sine never seems 10 run short of chill q
ZEN
Some day am going to write a New York
ieiy novel called "Thc Flight Of the Bob
il Car IL will be fun of thrilling passages J.
% VII contain sparkling New York society ,
aIogue which will be good 70 speak in +
lool The bool, Will also contain graphic
scr!ption of a race between two bobtail
Us, also a chapter detailing an attack on IA
ltall car at Desbrosses street, IN which the -
iver is forced 20 defend the car against a 8
ud Of road agents, attend 10 his horse, keep II
eye on the cash box, sell packages Of o
aii change to passengers, look al the little
.r0r over his head 10 see if his hat is on :,
aich', squirt tobacco juice spray through ST
g front window when running TO windwad,
tch Tor punched coins, avoid running over