The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-05-23
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE Rapid City Republican has been shown
the advance sheets of a volume of poems soon
to be issued by native OF that place, entitled
The Siren and the Sucker: or, the Lay of the
Last Tenderfoot." It seems thas the siren lred
the tenderfoot with this seductive song:
Come where the buffalo grass grows green
And the cobble-stones F1pcn too soon,
And the coyote sits on the dead cows frame
And sings to the pale, pale moon.
It's surprising how many poets there are in
DAKOTA when you come TO count en- up.-Ddko-
ia Ben.
TELL us what kept Ben: Pcrley Poore?
For we have asked in vain.
Did tight shoes make the Indian corn?
Why did Robert Treat Paine:
Lynn Item.
And in what hand does Carroll Wright:
And where does Cabot Lodge?
What lion did Alanson Beard?
What foe did Abigail Dodge?
Cape Ann Breeze.
Who scrubs and irons all Carl Schrz?
With whom docs now George Francis Train!
Can any one approach Bill Nye:
Whai copy man would dare Mark Twain?
-Chafjestotcn Enterprise
AN old colore1 preacher. after exhausting
himself on an attempt to describe heaven, wound
up thus Il tell you my brethren, 1t is very
Kentucky OF a place. ''-Ric.mond Religious
Herald.
As a lady and gentleman were passing by a
house on Washington street the other day a
little fellng toddied to the front gate and sung
out: Hello, for goodness sake, amen !''-Hart-
ford Times.
NEW NULL. TIES" was what the signs pasted
on Barnes, Hengerer & Co.'S show windows an
nounced Saturday night. Before morning some
Vandal with crayon came along and the
church going pedestrians read New mule ties y
Buffalo Courier
HER mother was sowing some seeds, and tried
to explain TO Maggie how they were put into the
ground little seeds and came up plants
s11.a cal laN. ri lNa,,sr
''They go to bed babies and get up growed
people. = Youths Companion.
HosTEss-why, Mr.. Awfulboor, you have
honored me with every dance this evening. l
am afraid.
MI. Awfulboor with great condescenson)-
All, / dare say But don't mention it, pray.
Capital joke. It's only TO cut the Brown girls,
you know.-Hdrper's BazGr.
A BEDFORD STREET MAN was tainted by his
boarding house mistress with not having paid
his board bill for the last two months. Madam, -
he replied, you are cruel. You might wait
until have digested my Christmas pudding be-
fore asking me to pay for it.'-FdH River id
Udnce.
MEMBER of Anti-Poverty Society-"I tell you,
Tom, its hard lines fora poor man nowadays.
No -four in the house, rent in arrears, and l
haven't done a stroke Of work for six months -
| Another member lpityingly)-"Thats tough.
What are you going TO dO-commit suicidef''
| Member (gloomilJ9-.I suppose III have to go
| to work. Philadelphia Call.
LITTLE Doy-Oh. mamma. There's a whole
| lot of men an horses an all sorts of queer
| things, an / don't know what all around Lucy s
house, an they is movin it way out of the yard.
| Omaha Mamma-Yes; Lucy's mamma told
me they were going to have it moved this week.
'Lucy's mamma is awful particular, an
| guess maybe she wants to air the cellar y
Omaha World.
| AS the royal party from the Tonga Islands
| passed UP State street a few days ago an Irish
lady who keeps a fruit and peanut stand in
| quired of a policeman: lis that big woman in
| the kefTidge Mrs. Pap O'Laney!' Yes" re-
| piled the blue-coated Knight of the Club 81
| wonder if she is one of the OIaneys of county
Kerry. Pom me sowl she's as black as nagur,
Boston Budget
Mrs. Col. YERGER is continual source OF
| embarrassment to her husband. Col Yerger
| recently gave dinner party to few select
| ladies and gentlemen. OF course, he was called
on for an after-dinner speech. Col. Yerger got
| up, and, assuming an imposing position, began:
| ladies and gentlemen, unprepared as l am
| being wholly unprepared to make a speech
| being unprepared-H He was unable to proceed
| There was painful silence, which was broken
| by Mrs Yerger saying: why, Colonel, you
| knew it perfectly this morning. ''-TeraS Sift-
| mas.