The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1887-04-29
A DUDE IN TRAINING.
Trying 20 CiOtbe Himself with Muscle
Under the BARRIERS Hands.

Trvink, 20 CiOthe Himself with muscle
Under the BARRIERS Hands.
Tt was my privilege the other day to see
a dude. not exactly au naturel, but with
out any of the furnishings that would tone
him I'D and set off his peculiar points 10
their best advantage. 1t was an a"Iui
sight and it shook my belief IN naUural
selection and the progress of the race
until the chimneys all tumDIed down
and the plastering came of. IL was III d
place where the poor little creatures go
to get themselves improved by gymnastlc
exercises and where | saw all the secrets
of their toilets. You needn' ask me how
I happened to be there or how managed
to see all did see. Just read and be
grateful
Well. about the dude. He was develop
ing his form. And it needed it. I've
seen girls pad, who looked about as much
like their dressed selves as Thanksgiv-
ing turkey all ready to be carved looks
like the strutting lord of the barnyard
that he once was But that was nothing
to the transformation there had been in
this creature since ] had seen him coming
down Fifth avenue few minutes before.
He had on the usual attire for athletic
exercises and was saving away at
some kind of an arraD cement for develop
ing the muscles of his arms and chest. HIS
moor little lead pencil neck looked as if a
sudden Whit of air would snap it in two,
and without the support of his big white
collar his ears doomed out like wings.
The excuse for clothes that men wear at
that kind of work was supposed to tit him
skin tight, but they hung around him In
such folds and wrinkles, like drapery,
that it relieved all my embarrassment in
looking at him. His arms were bare, and
they were the thinnest, skinniest, sallow-
est. most worthless looking pair of arms
that YOU ever saw. Let him tug away
at his best and he couldn't get upa bulge
of the biceps bigger than your thumb
He gave it up after he had pulled and
bobbed around and bulged out his eyes
and got red in the face for about five min
utes
"Weally, now, you know, III have to
stop I'm beastly blown"
The attendant suggested that if he
found it too difficult perhaps he'd better
not try that form of exercise any more.
But he shook his head sadly.
''NO, I'll have to keep on, for, WEAKLY,
don't you know, my tailor has to put so
much padding in my clothes it makes me
tired to carry it. l must keep up this
beastly thing"
They wanted him to take a cold-sponge
bath, but he shook his head in terror and
declared gave MIN CHILL 10 GulIlk u IT,
so they took him away into scclusiOn to
rub him down with almond oil instead,
and proceeded to dress him.
Later he went to a baber who makes a
speciality of identifying the swells. There
they trimmed his eyelashes, pulled out the
scattering hairs between his eyebrows,
rubbed his face all over with some kind of
a gentle cosmetic, curled his poor little
pretense of mustache with an iron, gave
his head perfumed shampoo, extracted
some hairs that came down too low on
one side of his forehead, spent an hour
shaping and polishing his finger nails, and
when he was finally ready to come out
from their hands what do you think they
gave him to take home? 1t was a machine
that looked as if it might be first cousin
to clothes pin, and the fellow was to
wear it on his nose at night. He thought
his nose was too big for the rest of his
face; that if he could only reduce it little
his features would ''weally be quite wegu-
lah,' and so he was going to put this cor
set on at night.-Clara Belle in Cincinnati
Enquirer.