The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1887-10-13
LITTLE LAUGHS

Somehow or other it has a tendency to
make farmer feel tired when he has Just
fitted his barn with brand new lightning rods
Shd tramp comes along, lights his pipe and
goes to sleep in the hay mow.-Somerville
Journal.
In Singapore, if lover can catch his
adored IN a canoe race he can marry her.
Hence the expression canoebial bliss.-Nor-
witch Bulletin.
While the lamp holds out to burn there is
not much danger of the average servant fill
ing it,-Harpers Bazaar.
If the men who make tobacco signs had
any originality they would dress their Indian
effigieS in plug hats and government blankets,
and thus make them appear something like
the modern brave.-Atchison Globe.
That interesting story, 1.-THE Delinquent
Tax List" is now running in most of the ter
ritorial exchanges 1t is a story with bad
ending. Bismarck Tribune.
The editor of The London Punch is serious
ly i'll. As we are not reader of his paper
we hope he may soon be able to resume his
editorial duties. -Norristown Herald
In these days the preserving housekeeper
has good deal to put up with.-Lowell
Courier.
If the moon is made of green cheese, then
the man in the moon must be a skipper De-
troit Free Presa.
"Papa, said Mabel, who is learning to play
whist, what does the phrase 'honors are easy
mean" at means" said pa, who is crank
statesman, that any fellow can get into con-
gress if he goes far enough west. "-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
The Rochester Democrat says "a tin horn is
better than pistol" to brighten away burg
lars And besides the tin horn is always
LOADED" and consequently safe.-Hartford
Post.
Now all closed are the palaces
OF summer place bonifaces,
And where will the jolly proprietors gog
| Oh, they'll fit down to Florida,
| Where the weather is torrider,
And rake in another rich harvest, you know.
Hotel Mail
The day of the great god Juggernaut in
| India is nearly over. Coolies are now hired
to drag the car that pilgrims once struggled
| to attach themselves to. The next thing
will be to get n traction steam engine to pull
it,-Syracuse Herald
When Mrs. Homespun saw her nephew
Charley's gun and appurtenances, Indicative
Of a bird shooting expedition next morning,
she soaked the cartridges in a basin of water,
with the remark: "Tve always heard that
fixed ammunition is the surest. "-IVashinpton
Post
A son of Jesse James has gone TO work in a
real estate office Well, he can't help it: til
boys Of that family are born robbers.-Ne,
York Star.
The boy whose mother whaled him with q
five foot apple tree sprout said he had enough
of Long Branch for this season.-Waterloo
Observer
Farmers Wife - Where did you come
from! Wayfarer-Camp "What are YOUR
Scamp" f. W.-Scamper. Decamps in
Stanter.-New York Star.
An Omaha real estate man was attacked by
three footpads the other night. He killed one
and forced the other two to buy thirty
days option on town lots.-Peoria Tran
script.
young woman recently called at the Bur-
lington postofice with the inquiry: "Grandma
told me to ask you If Louisa got the money
all right. "-Burlington W.T. Free Press.
If Donnelly's theory prevails, Stratgord- on.
the-Avon will soon be Stratford- ON the
avaunt.-Texas Siftings
Don't take too much stock in the man who
tells you that he doesn't owe a dollar. 1t
may be that he would owe good many pro-
vided anybody would trust him.-Philadel-