Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1887-01-29
From Hair Pin Lake.

! from HAIR Pm Lake.
HAIR PIN LAKE, Jan. 24.-Dear Sir:
have received your letter saying
that you would be glad to have me act
as correspondent Of your valuable pa
per, th't you might aid in bringing 10
the world II knowledge of tho ueoplo
and resources Of Hair Pin Lake. Inns.
ten to comply with your solicitations.
To assist struggling genius has ever been
one Of the inherent weakne1scs Of nv
family.
There are several disreputaLlc scala
ways III this community who have played
mean tricks upon me, aud shall DO
pleased to write up their several 'iescrip.
tlons and characteristics for your paper,
f"r the end that your readers may never
DO taken in by them us have been.
Before going further l desire to an.
nouncr, that after Il severe cUulse OF
study which eminenlly qualities mr for
the pursuits in life which have chosen,
| am now prepared to furnish obituary
mDllccs to bercaved families in language
and style calculated to make them for.
get the pam Of parting.
Mr.. SLubb., the distinguished profes.
sor of agriculture at the north end Of
Hair Pin Lake, has just purchased two
Cal loads Ut grade calves, assorted sizes,
and Is prepared to supply the Wholesale
and retail trade. He is very GENIAL
gentleman and l wish you ,ud meet
nm. II he knew you were running =
newspaper he would be glad TO have
you come and visit him.
Miss Sarah Stubbs is II very attractive
young lady. She is tall and red hnired,
with hereditary tendencies to bilious.
ness. LII the inler,nissiolls between
chasing Slubbs' gr,.d" stock, Sarah writes
poetry. II you could secure Sarah rs
regular correspondent Of your paper,
you would find her a great help in times
OF trouble. For three dollar. and one.
half u week she could afford to give ner
whole time to poetry aud cond probably
supply you with four columns every
issue. This would relieve you from the
pernicious necessity Of padding your
columns with uniilterr,ting cOmnienda.
tlons upon your neiyhl,urs' hardware
and groceries, which see you insert in
extravagantlv large type.
The maiden with the athletic law -
IA months the senior OF Sarah. Sho is
named Abigail after an aunt, vino had
sore eyes and used to sing in the choir
down in Pennsylvania. Abigail !. an
enthusiastic musician. Her instru nent
is the ta,nburlne. She has, ready for
publication, 4 musical treatise entitled
First Lessons on the Tamborinc,"
which is destined to have an immense
run. Local pride has, perhaps, had
something to do with maXnifying the
accomplishments Of thi. gifted young
lady. But you will allow me space to
put myself on record to the effect. tl.at
a moonlight night on Hair Pin Lake
with nobody in your gondnla but your.
self. Abigail and the Mmborine, takes
the bakery over any other known form
Of intoxication.
1t will not be worth while to say any.
thing about Mrs. s ubbs as she is out of
health and probably not long for this
world. Furthermore do MT wis, to
impair the effect Of an obituary notice
Of her, which I have now nearly com.
pleted in anticipation Of her early de-
mise. Mrs. Stubbs does her own work.
The only other member Of the family
is Jim, gentl man o: ~ long years of
experience. Jim has rendered himself
eminent i'll refined circles by hia aston.
lshing feat OF eating 36 apples in So con.
-eculiye minutes. As demolsher Of
fall fru, Jim hold the championship belt
and "A certificate from a leading surgeon
and physician to the elfec. that he be.
Ileves jim is hollow At the core.
l shall take up other families in this
vicinity hereafter. and speak OF them
according 10 their deserts. You can,
my dear sir, consider mo your friend and
benefactnr, HALB.Rr Stage.
P. S-Ii you find the price of meat
, too great u burden in these hard times.
. l could undertake to supply your family
, with jack rabbit at merely nominal
figure. HIS.