St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-12-17
DAKOTA TOMS WISDOM.
He Sizes Up Various Dakota Poll
ticians and Speech-Makers.

Special to the Globe
WASHINGTON, Dec. 16.-"Col. Plum
mer is a dead affected sort of a cuss,"
said Dakota Tom as he gazed upon the
dignified Blaine warrior. ''He wears
that Stat O. hair adown his forrud on
one side jest to make folk look at i'm.
He wears that gOssiper coat wen it
amt rainin' jest for effect. He slOb-
bers adown lis lower lip jest to make
folk look at Jim an wonder wat fer man
he be- Then turning his critical eye
upon Mellette. Tom said: ''There is
fat un an we'll KEEP Teller, too. He
amt got no state fer to he gunner of,
but he calls hisself gunner, and folk
humOrs i'm, so he be really
gunner spite O. all the law an constitu-
tiOnS. o. course he must miss the SAL
airy little, but honor goes long ways
wild some folk. Mellette is dignified, he
do manage to look wise an say nOthin'
'cept wen he screeches agin the out
RACES witch is afflicted upon his darlint
state. AS devise f'om that. Mellette
looks wise as an owl an nobuddy can't
tell if he be smart or not, until he open
his head an then they all see his socks,
fer he be hollow all through" Tom
proceeded in his unique way to criticise
Judge Bennett, Gov. Ordway, Judge
Clifford and other Dakotians who are j
and have been here during the past
two weeks. But when he came to Col!
Donan, he waXed angrily eloquent. He
said: There amt nothin' bout DOMAIN
as entities him to claim Dakota as a
part of his earth, savin' an 'cepting
his gall. Everythin' he says rattleS like
A HOLLOW TUBE.
There amt nOthin' in it. DOMAIN has
lots O. words but derned few ideas.
There amt no man in the hull of Da-
kOta as can make folk tired so quick as
DOMAIN. He used to be uneek, but now
DOMAIN up an down, and | ken tell ye
jest wat he amounts to. He is mimic,
a sort of monkey mimic of great man.
Fust sight no one ken tell jest wat
makes his talk with listenin' to. But,
I've sized him up. DOMAIN is base imi-
later of the man Ingersoll who talks
terse an epigrdmmatic. He has studied
Ingersoll learned his words on many
subjects, an often wen people has
listened to DOnan an heard something
worth listenin' to, it is quotations from
IngersOll widOut credit; jest like John
brakes paper web takes hull editorials
Outen the GLOBE or smother paper, an
never gives credit fer it. That's Donan.o
The old man had been talking all even
ing because he had taken some-
thing which talks for itself. Point
ing to the Stalwart and commanding
figure of eX-Gov. Ordway, towering like
Saul of TarSuS above his fellOwmen, hej
said: ''There goes one of the worst
abused men Dakota ever saw. That :
man was Democrat away back in the
fiftieS. He was Democrat in the early
sixties. Then he became Republican
and stayed with that party until it full
filled its mission. Now, an / knows
what | am sayin', Gov. Ordway is as
good Democrat as he ever was, but he
But, you mark my words, he'll be
wOrkin' inside
TIE DEMOCRATIC PARTY
inside O. the next year. More'n all that,
he'll come to the United States senate
from Dakota, long afOre Mellette gets
to be a real gunner" Tom has pc
culiar dialect. and something of hest
fancy in his speech, but he gets there
just the same. What he doesn't know
about men and affairs in Dakota is
scarcely worth knowing. Referring to
the question of division, Tom said:
Dakota will either come into the
Union as an individual state, or else
she'll st-st-a-ay out of the Union for
mother winter or two. Democrats make
asses of themselves often 'nough; but
they amt goin' to make no such fools of
their party as to divide Dakota. I
know plenty O. Democrats as will vote
for admission with a Texas proviso for
division in the sweet bye an bye; but
nary division in this congress. Repub-
licanS kept Dakota out of the Union in
1882. Maine kept her out, by the votes
an work of her senators. Republicans
can howl now agin the Democrats if
they want to, but it won't make no i'm
without no division y