Bent County register., 1887-12-24
The Elaine Interview at
the White House.

the White House.
"Dan," remarked The president as
the two fingered in the dining room
and helped themselves to another
piece of pie, "Dan, please tell me
fair and square-how does this inter
view with Mr.. Blaine which the
Tribune prints, leave my message?
I'd take it as great favor if you'll
give me perfectly candid reply"
sNo, no,n said Dan, his face grow
ing as crimson as one of the famous
sunsets, dou't let's talk of that mat
ter. Let's talk of the Shakesperean
controversy. What does thou think,
sire, of having an edition of thy
message issued in Volapuk? By
the way, speaking of roses, l heard
"A good story at the Hoffman house
the last time"
"Dan," interrupted Mr.. Cleveland
in severe tones, Il will not be put
off in this manner. / insist upon all
answer to my question. You've
read the Blaine interview, suppose"
"Of course, of course, sire, every
body has read 1t. How plainly the
Washington monument show from
this window. The allusion to the
Washington monument reminds of
witty remark that our friend Colo
mel Fellows"
''Dan, such conduct is unworthy
of you. | request in all earnestness
that you shall treat me with frank
ness, and you turn deaf ear to my
entreaty. Now l tell you once for
all that | will not be diverted from
my purpose. command You to
give me direct, unvarnished answer
to my query, l repeat it-how does
this interview with Mr.. Blaine leave
my message?"
The breath of the private secretary
came quick as an ideal messenger
boy. Great beads of presperation
showed themselves upon his brow.
At length, after bracing himself with
yet another quarter of pie, he turned
his eyes sorrowfully upon his chief
and observed; "lNilt please repeat
the question? Trust me, shall true
answer make"
"My question is, how-does-this-in
terview-with-Mr r.-Blaine-leave my
message? Surely it is not hard
query to catch the drift of. Your
answer, Dan. Come, out with it."
"Sire hast thou ever seen a plug
hat that had been stepped upon by
an elephant? Art thou familiar with
the personal appearance of bull as
he emerges from an encounter with
a lightning express train? Didst
ever happen whiie sojourning amid
rural scenes to gaze upon the remains
of the hired man that had been
drawn through the threshing ma
chine? Canst thou recall how the
target looks after company of
sharpshooters have got through
amusing themselves at it's expense?"
''Yes, Dan, happen to have seen
such hat, such bull, such hired
man, such target. But why do
you refer to such things now? Have
you not given me your word that you
would true answer make to my re-
quest?"
With one wild convulsive shrek,
that tore the weather strips off the
front doors and gave the dog, Hector,
fit. Dan exclaimed: "Well, the
Blaine interview-I cannot tell lie,
s;re-left your message closely re-
sembling that crushed plug hat, that
pulverized bull, that ground hired
man, that riddled target. Dost for
give me, sire?"
There was pause. Then Mr..
Cleveland remarked in freezing tones
at least twenty below zero-.Yes,
l forgive you this time, but hereafter
you will please not TO obtrude upon
me your opinion on controverted
points. New York Tribune.
Nothing succeeds like success. A