The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-02-23
HUMOR.

WHILE "man never is, bit always to
be blessed" he is continually cursed.
BE it in time of war or peace, the
cannon makers business can be made
to boom.
WHY is ak" the most unfortunate OF
letters? Because it is alwaysAn fix,
and never out OF perplexity.
A COAL stove is cast-iron paradox.
1t won't burn unless you put 1T up;
then it won't burn unless you shake 1T
down.
AS YOU can now get 200 quinine pills
for dollar, we should say that quinine
is getting to be drug in the market
Puck.
A FASHIONABLE young lady says she
always enjoys the TRANSATLANTIC voyage
because she makes the acquaintance OF
SO many swells.
A LYRE five feet high has been found
by DIR. Schlienann. We have bigger
Tyres in this country, but they are not
spelled that way.
EYES," observed Mrs. Crap, I'VE
kinder got tired OF gas, and now we're
goin' to have the house Lit with clandes-
tine electric lights.
Il SEE young Quinine has gone out
of the apothecary business and become
a letter-carrier. "Yes, he was fairly
driven by poverty from pillar to post"
"WHo do you lover" said Jones to
his sweetheart's baby sister. Il loves
'oo." was the reply. "And who does
Sissy love?" "Sissy loves Mister
Smif. toss he tisses her."
as THIS trunk line?" asked the
summer girl at the railway station.
"No," replied the ticket agent, 1T is
branch" "Oh, Pm so sorry; for. 1
wanted to take four trunks along with
mel"
90, CLARA" said Maud, "Charley
took me sleigh-riding last night. had
such fun. / drove" What was the
matter with Charley?' Stupid! He
couldn't drive with his teeth, could
hep"
A VERMONT paper says: "The pop
ularity of husking- bees is very great
this season." That's all right, but our
experience has shown that there is not
much enjoyment in attempting to husk
a good healthy bee.
AN authority on the cuisine says that
duck ought not to stand long after be-
ing roasted. Probably it would do no
harm to let the duck sit up if it isn't
too tired, but it shouldn't be allowed
to swim in the gravy.
AT the minstrels: Bones-"Do you
know what Caucasian is, Mr.. Jones?"
nterlocutor-"C Certainly, sir; l am a
Caucasian" Bones-"Wid dad brack
face of yours? SHOP Interlocutor-
"Yes, sir. Burnt corka-sian !"-Jltdye.
PARsoN SQUIRT understand, Dea-
con, that the church carpet is being
ruined by dripping umbrellas" Dea-
con Goode-"It is so; Parson, and
something has got to be DONE" "Why
not have rack in the yestibule and
leave the umbrellas there instead of
carrying them to the seats?" II am
afraid it would spoil the solemnity of
the benediction." "You think SOP
Eyes; everybody would want to be first
out to get the best ones"
FIRST Omaha dame-"And so Miss
Pretty is going to marry the Count de
Luna?" Second Omaha dame-"Yes,
the Count thinks her father is well off,
but he'll be dreadfully taken in on
that. You see, the Count stopped at
the st. Blank Hotel, and as Miss Pref
tvs father is the night clerk there the
Count naturally supposed from his ac-
tons that he owned the whole estab-
lishment." "Yes, / see-hadn't been
in this country long," "No." swell,
Miss Pretty is strong. healthy girl,
but don't believe she'll like taking in
washing. "-Omaha World.