St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-09-11
"sKIN THAT RABBIT"

The Trouble in the Riggs House.
hold Over Some Game That the
Husband Had Killed.
To the Editor of the Globe.
My landlady, Mrs. Henrietta Higgs, is
a small, thin woman with sallow COM
pleXion, and great, staring black eyes.
She has been an invalid for the past
twenty years, being subject to a. disease
of the heart, dyspepsia, rheumatism and
liver complaint. Consequently she is
very thin and emaciated, and, somehow,
whenever | look at her, with her big,
hollow eyes and clean, cadaverOuS body,
the thought of graveyardS. nunnerieS
and dead people always presents itself
to my mind.
Her husband, Jonas Higgs, is a good
natured, eaSy-gOing, ne'er-do-Weil fell
low, caring for nothing or no one in par
ticular, and of so stupid a temperament
as not to be capable of reSenting the
many indignities that are frequently
heaped upon his defenseleSS head by his
adorable wife. For l am sorry to say
the most amiable of dispositions.
In fact, for miles around it is common
expression: LAS bad temper as Hen
rietta Higgs." Owing to this fact it
was with some reluctance that decided
to come here to board. But it was really
the most convenient place for me, and,
as my work keeps me away during the
aytime, | thought that the experience
/ might obtain would be of interest and
possibly of benefit to me. Mrs. Higgs
is always extremely courteous to me,
and also to the hired girl. She is polite
to me Oh account of the income she de-
riveS for my board. and kind to the girl
because she knows how valuable are
her services. There are no other MEM
beers of the family, as their eight chill
dren all died young. For several days
after / came | had no appetite. Who
could eat with ghost grinning at you,
and with tOmbStoneS and cadavers
haunting you? She is the most enact
ated person ever saw.
The first night l spent here 1 was
awakened, after / had been asleep for
some hours, by terrible noise. Doors
were Slamming, tinware rafting, and,
above all the din, could hear the shrill
voice of my landlady addressing her
lord and master in tones more forcible
than affectionate. Fearing that might
overhear something that was not in
tended for my ears, covered my Or
gans of hearing with the bed clothes,
and soon fell asleep again, though re-
member of hearing an occasional snap
ping and snarling for some time later.
In the morning | assumed an air of
innocence, and was somewhat diScOn-
certed when, at the breakfast table,
Mrs. Higgs bluntly asked me if heard
anything last night. l said / believed |
did hear little noise, but not much.
Il knew you would" Mrs. Higgs re-
joined. ''lt's nOthin. but his mizerable
meanness. He never came home till l
o'clock, and then he never cleaned the
mud Off his boots before he came in that
kitchen!"
went on. first giving her devoted spouse
a most whitening glance from her black
eyes.
miss Bump, you will never know
what I've put up with from that man,
there. Twenty years ago, when we
were first married, he couldn't be too
nice to me. Now, he's nothin' but
gOod-for-nothin', lazy, dirty niger!
Why, Miss Bump. let me tell you how
mean he is! He never in his life Snores,
except ON Saturday nights. Why? Why,
SO he can keep me awake all night. and
tire me out kicking him. so that can't
go to church on Sunday! That's the
kind of creature he is. And if he
thinks snoring isn't going to- do it, he
takes quid of tobacco to bed with him,
in his big mouth like dasher in a
churn. Wake him up? I'd like to see
any one wake him up after he gets to
sleep. 1t can't be DONE"
Next day Mr.. Higgs went hunting and
shot rabbit. He did not find time to
dress it before dark, and, after supper,
seemed to have forgotten all about it,
being interested in reading the news.
Every little while, however. he was re-
minded of his task by his adorable wife.
"Jonas, have you skinned that rab-
bit?''
NAV, not yet"
''Oh yonmean, ugly seoundreI you!
You ought to be hung-yOmhadr
But as he apparently did not hear this
sweet address, she resumed.
''Ef I'd only married the man orto,
I'd never seen youp'
Even this did not rouse him, so she
exclaimed:
'sJonas Higgs! I'll knock you down
if you don't skin that rabbit"
But even this ferocious threat did not
disturb our literary friend and at last
Mrs. Higgs was silent. began to think
she had considered herself vanquished,
when at length she stepped to the win
dow, and, after gazing abstractedly out
a moment, said, very Sweetly: "Jonas"
He probably had never heard her ad-
dress him in that tone before, for he
looked UP from his paper in astonish-
ment and said ''Whatn'
Then she said. still more sweetly, with
a loving look at her better half:
''DO you think it's gOin' to freeze to-
night, Jonas?"
s.Naw, l guess not" he drawled.
swell, them" she snapped, ''you go
and skin that rabbit or it'll spoil!'
could keep sober face no longer,
and burst into peal of laughter which
aroused Mr.. Higgs from his lethargy,
for he stretched his legs, yawned, and
retired to the woodshed to perform the
desired piece of work for his dutiful
wife. Next morning we had rabbit for
breakfast, and my generous land
lady, after first helping her.
self of the stew, passed the
dish to me. After taking what wished
1 was about to hand it to the head of the
family, when Mrs. Higgs suddenly took
it from me with the remark:
'He can't have any of that rabbit;
he was too mean about Skinning it."
And L noticed that Mr.. Higgs con-
tented himself with bread and weak
tea.
81 see you don't care for coffee, Mr..
Higgs," remarked. r
eyes, l do" he reioined; "but she
won't let me have it,"
Mrs. Higgs made some remark to the
effect that tea was too good for him. and
we resumed our meal.
T hone Mr. HipUc WON'T po hunting