The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1887-11-11
VOL. XXXII----NO. As.
VARIETIES.

The sermon of the best preacher in the
world will not make so much impression on
a congregation as the sudden pattering of
rain on the window-panes of q church con-
tanning two hundred new bonnets.
The Athenians were very much like peo-
pie nowadays. Alcibiades having bought
dog, cut off its tail. "This do" said he,
chat the Athenians may talk about it, and
not concern themselves with other acts of
mine.
The sermon of the best preacher in the
world will not make SO much impression on
congregation as the sudden pattering of
rain on the window panes of a church con.
tanning two hundred new bonnets
And don'tyou know why, Bobby" said
the minister, who was dining with the fam
lily, "your mamma doesn't want you to eat a
second piece of pie?" ayes, sir" replied
Bobby. "Shc said that If you didn't take any
there would be enough left over for to-mor-
row."
Ono great reason why men practice
generosity so little in the world, is their find
ing so little there Generosity is catching;
and ii so many escape, it is in small de-
gree, for the same reason that countrymen
escape the small-poX-becausG they meet with
no one to give it to them.
1t is not the "fiesh," nor the "eye," nor the
"life" which are forbidden, but il is the lust
Of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the
pride of life. II is not this earth, nor the
men who inhabit it, nor the sphere of our
legitimate activity that VIC do love, but the
way in which the love is given which consti-
tutes worldliness.
Horace Walpole, in dining with the
Duchess of Queensborough on her eightieth
birthday, said in proposing her health, "May
you live, my lady duchess, until you begin to
p1xt lo,l,, -,
as ready as his own. ~ thank you, Mr.. Wal
pole" she replied. land may you long CON
tine your taste for antiquities"
A scientist is authority for the state
ment that whitcwash is perfectly non-com-
bustibe. We are also informed that it is
custom in France to thickly coat with lime
wash the beams, joists, the under side of floor
ings and other portions in buildings to rem
der them fire-proof 1t is quite commonly
known that whitewashed lumber will not
burn.
Little Helen B., aged five years, while VS.
iting farm, was asked to pick up u large
eggplant from which the young farmer had
mischievously removed the stem. She tried
several times, but her chubby hands contin-
ually slipped on the smooth surface At last
she straig up with sigh, and said:
~ can't lift it, cause the how-you pick-it-up
is gone." Youths Companion.
"A four-year-old tot to-day invited three
older playmates into an ice cream saloon,
where she magnificently ordered four plates
of cream. When the delectabe food had
been eaten she calmly proceeded to walk out
of the place without paying for it. The pro-
prietor stopped her. Looking up into his
face in the most innocent manner in the
world she lisped: II amt got any money,
sir. I'll pay you when l am married"
Little girl four years old, playing about
the room, suddenly breaks out with mann
ma, did you ever fall in love" eyes"
"Whom did you fall in love with ?" "With
your father, my dear" swell, did papa ever
fall in lover" ayes" "Whom did he fall in
love withW "With me, suppose" "Well,
how did you both get OUT" Before the
mother had time TO solve the conundrum,
the little interrogation solved it for herself.
80, guess l know You took papa by the
hand, and papa took you by the hand, and
your helped each other out"
1t is related that as Mayor Ely of New
York, was chatting one evening recently with
his friends, "Gen. and Mrs. A." on the piaz-
"a of the United States Hotel at Saratoga, the
General suggested to the ex-Mayor the pro.
prie,y of looking into the bar-room, ITO see
who is there" "Oh, Charley exclaimed
Mrs. A. TO her husband, ''this is the fourth
time since dinner that you have gone to see
who is in the bar-room." -Four times!"
calculated the General; then turning 10 his
friend he said "Ely, my dear fellow, if ever
you do marry, be sure to select woman who
has never studied arithmetic"