The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-03-16
PITH AND P0INT
A gentleman of polish-A bootblas>s,


The great American dessert
Sytings.
The violinist is always up to his s!fa
in business. .... ~: <,
A court decision: "Yes, Dolphy, ~:
be your wife. ."-Cedar Rapids Gossir
A parting injunction-"Right doW,
the middle, barber. ."-DetroH Free F'sss
A blind man in Iowa can tell the coiffs
O.. "a red-hot stove simply by touching tss
-Puck's Annual. -. - -
As man and wife are one, the husbenfA
when seated with his wife, must be BIZ
side himself. Philadelphia Herald
John and Ida married lived ~. ~
In Idaho forlorn,
Cause John Jung round the tavern
And let Idaho the corn.
On the Rolling Deep. First Passa ;er
-"Well, old boy, what's up this q er-
noon2" Second Passcnger-"Aubm the
soup.-London Seropa.
A Georgia woman looked thr ugh
twenty-six different novels to find name
for her girl baby, snd' finally settled on
Marier. -Burlingto:s Free Press. -
He lat a Boston musicale le)-'NHhat Q
glorious interpretation" She "a Chicago
Young woman )-'Yes, Mr.. Waldo, Icau
that good fdaling."-Harper's Basar..
There is widow who keeps Swedish
boarding house on one OF the streets near
the wharves. Her boarders are referred
to as the widows "Swedes. "-Boston
| Courier. E..,.5..
Mr.. Holbrook has written . book tell
ing GLOW 10 strengthen the memory"
| He omits ths most popular method, by
tying string about the fore6nger.-Nes
York Times. -
"Chestnutsw yelled several persons In
the gallery at the minstrel show. "That!
right, gentlemen" responded Bones. "
you don't get what you want, ask for
-Pit:s6urg Dispatch.
sDon't be a fool," yhe said, with .
snap, to her husband. "Why didn't you
tell me that when I e.kcd you to marry
| me2" lie replied; and silence fell upon
that house. Washington Critic
A Chicago detective wrote to client:
81 have found time to drop you q line.
Tie client replied that he was glad no
had found something as he was getting
little discouraged. .-Puek's Annua1. -,
"Pa, have you the hydrophobia7" "No,
BERTHE; what makes you ask that ques-
tiona" "Well, 1 heard ma say to-day
that you got awfully bitten when you
thought she had fortune IN her own
name. ."-Harper's Bazar.
An authority says that two apples
placed in the cake box will keep the CAKE
moist long time. We wish to add that
if YOU haven't any apples, place two boys
in. and the cake will not spoil 1t WILL
only change from fruit cake and angel
cake to Observation-Disclosures SreeSe.
Two human skeletons have been found
imbedded in solid rock in Arizona. Both
were in sitting posture and supposed to
have been females. 1t is thought they
belonged to some prehistoric race and sat
down by the bed of lake to talk over
the new fashions and did not notice the
tlirht of timc.-Omaha World.
CUPID EUCHRED.
I waited his coming year,
And thought: when ne comes, nell pro-
pose
I practiced his favorits songs,
I brought out my prettiest clothes
A love of gown, made by Worth,
Tender blue, with touch of pale rose;
For hours polished my nails;
read up both poems and prose,
But alas! when the fatal day came,
I'd boil on the end of my nose!
A song with the title, "Therc's Sigh
in the Heart" was sent by young mar
to his sweetheart, but the paper fell into
the hands of the girls father, very un-
sentimental physician, who exclaimed:
"What wretched unscientifc rubbish Is
this2 Who ever heard of such case3"
He wrote on the outside: mistaken di-
agno,is; no sigh in the heart possible;
sighs relate almost entirely to the lungs
and diaphram."