davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
SQUIBS.

A levy made by il Georgia constable
read thus: 81 hav this day levied Oh
one Black COW, this piece Having Biz
sOwed On by me with Needle &
Thread"
Undressed kid is the favOrite mate
rial for slippers, says fashionable
journal. 1t may be added that slippers
are not the favorte material with the
undressed kid.
"Pa," said little Jimmie, 81 was
very near going to head of my class to
day" "How is that, my son 2" "Why.
a big word came all the way down to
me, and if | could only have spelled it
| should have gone clear up."-[ Wide
Awake.
Mark Twain said recently, when ask
ed whether it was true that he propOs
ed to start a newspaper in Hartford !:
"Heavens, no | shall never start IA
newspaper SD long as | can buy three
for less than it costs to have my boots
BACKED"
If anybody has been holding stock
in the Connecticut river for rise, now
is good time to sell out. Vermont
and New Hampshire are boosting the
market and watering the stock, but the
speculation will fail as soon as the
snow banks get short of funds.
Mamma (coaxingly) Come, Bobby,
take your medicine now, and then
jump into bed. Bobby do not want
to take any medicine, ma. Father
(who knows how to govern children
Robert, if You don't take your medicine
at once you will be put to bed without
taking it at ALL III arper's Bazaar.
Applicant: 'Is this the place to ap-
ply for pension 7 Pm antOld soldier,
sir, and up to the present time /
haven't asked the government to give
me cent. Now | want assistance"
Pension Agent: "You want a back
pension n Applicant: Certainly
that's where was shot" lid Bits.
Teacher giving directions for stand
ing)-Stand with your heels together,
toes turned out, making an angle of 40
degrees. This was followed by a
look of bewilderment on one boys
face. Teacher Well, Tim, do you
know what mean? Do you know
what a degree is Z Pupil-Yes, sir.
feaclier-What Pupil = Sixty nine
and one-fourth miles.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
Jay Gould and the Brakei
Ohica0O TriblLne

"Can't allow that, my dear sir, sa
a brakeman on one of the Wabash
lines the other day, rather sharply, I'd
ii passenger who was trying to crack a
pecan on the end of car seat.
The offender, small man of quiet
demeanOr, looked up and remarked
that he was not hurting the seat he
was hammering on cast iron.
81 can't help that SIR" said the
brakeman. Suppose we let everybody
crack nuts on the car seats; don't you
see it would defaco them l tell you
it won't do. You'll have to stop it 2"
"Pll pay for all the damage | do,
said the little man, bringing his knife
handle down on the nut again.
"YOu'll get out of the car if you don't
quit that's what you'll do" quoth the
exasperated brakeman.
ooh, no, | think not" said the lit
tie man. GIL try to put up with the
injury to the car. | can stand it,"
And he handed the brakeman a card
inscribed thus: Jay Gould, New York
81 beg your pardon, Mr.. Could" ex
claimed the employee, humbly lifting
his cap and turning red and pale by
turns.
"That is all right, my good man.
You were only doing your duty. No
need to ask my pardon. | have no
better right to abuse the property of
the road than any other passenger
would have. Always do your duty,
regardless of persons. I'll keep an eye
out for you"
: An hour later the great railway mag
nate left the train.
"DO you see that little fellow 2" said
the brakeman to an acquaintance
"Thats Jay Gould. Pm solid with
him, and my fortunes made"
THAT Jay Gould 2" was the reply
"NOt much. That's Smith Henry of
Bushnell, Ill. He looks like Jay
Could, and whenever he travels he
carries a pOcketful of cards with Jay
GOnld's name on them. Been giving
you one, has he , Ohio ! Anal"
A wild eyed brakeman on one of the
Wabash lines travels back and forth
on his run, performing all his allotted
duties in mechanical way, and pos
sessed of one absorbing, consuming de-
sire. He wants to meet Mr.. Smith
Henry of Bushnell once more before he
dies.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
Let Us BE Up and Doing.
R1LfZn0d Herald

Two avenues of prosperity are open
to Vermont. One is the removal here
of manufacturers from other states
the other in the increasing thrOngs OF
summer company, attracted by Om
pure air and water and unrivaled seen
cry. Neither will come or stay if we
show lack of public spirit. "There's
millions in it" if we smooth their way
Most of all, the more we improve, the
more inclined will our sons and daugh-
tiers be to stay at home. They are
worth more than all the dollars. Let
us be up and doing.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

Those who are in the habit of indulg
ing in raw onions, says medical man
may be cOnsOled for the social disad-
vantages which ensue by the fact that
onions are about the best nervine
known. No medicine is really so eff
caciOus in cases of nervous prostration
and they tone up wOrn-Out system in
a very short time. Their absorbent
powers are also most valuable, espec-
tally in times of epidemic.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

The type written records of the va
riOus executive departments are SO
rapidly fading that it is anticipated
that they will have to be reproduced
in some permanent form for preserva-
ton. The aniline inks employed for
typewriters, especially the purple inks
looks pretty, but fades entirely away
in two years. The black ink is more
permanent.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
cookies
ANTI-BILIOUS
PILLS,

THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY
For Liver, Bile. Indigestion etc. Free trono NJ,
Agent: e. N CRTrrENTON, New YORK ''ie"'s'
March Is "a
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
business Gards.

business Cards.
F BLANCHARD M d,
Physician and Surgeon, Peacham, VT.
Also Notary Public.
DR.. R. w. WARNER,
Surgeon Dentist,
Union Block, Main ST., st. Johnsbury. VT
H. L. NEWELL, 10. d.
No. Bank Block Main ST., st. Johnsbury, Vt
Office Hours-7 to 9 aud II to IL n. m. I to :,
to 6, 7 TO SPIN
DIR JAMES R. NELSON,
Physician and Surgeon.
Office and Residence first door south of Ath en@um
BATES & MAY,
ATTORNEYS All LAW,
Main St, Opp. Post Office, st. Johnsbury
DIR. G. F. CHENEY,
DENTIST,
Room l, Union Block, ST. Johnsbury. VT.
A. F. NICHOLS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office oppO. Post Office, St. Johnsbury, VT
w. C. WARNER,
Matchmaker and JeweIer,
Fine Watch Work a Speciality.
% Eastern Avenue, st. Johnsbury, Vt
j. H. HUMPHREY,
TEACHER OF VOCAL MUSIC.
Private instruction given in voice building and
the art of singing Room in Music Hall Block.
DANIEL THOMPSON,
nj IDaddoek Ifo,, NVa.lys
st. Johnsbury JObbing done to order.
w. C. LEV WIS,
Agent for Vt Mutual Fire Insurance Co. WI
attend 10 Explorations aud collecting assessment
in st. JOhnsbury, Concord aud Victory. Reliable
Insurance ut low rates. CAN on or address him at
st. JOhnsbury, VI.
D. A. CLIFFORD,
Photographic Artist,
CALIFORNIAN Blk Main ST.. St Johnsbury
L. B. ATWOOD,
Hats, Caps, Gents Furnishing
Goods,
F. v. POWERS,
Dealer in
All Kinds of General Merchandise.
Portland Street, ST. Johnsbury
S. T. BROOKS, M. D.,
Practicing Physician and Surgeon,
Odce at residence, opp. the Bakery, st. Johnsbury
o. P. BENNETT,
Dealer in Marble Work of All Kinds.
Near Passenger Depot, ST. Johnsbury.
MILLER & RYAN,
Manufacturers and Dealers in
Carriages and Carriage Stock,
Cor Portland and r.. II. Sts., St JOhnsbury.
E. & 7. FAIRBANKS & CO.,
Dry Goods, Clothing, Carpetings, Paper
Hangings, CrOckery, and Groceries,
Fairbanks Village, st. Johnsbury VT
c. c. BINGHAM,
Druggist and Pharmacist,
Bank Blk, Main Street. st. Johnsbury, VT.
HOWARD & HOWELL,
Watches, JeweIry, Books and Stationery, I
Cor. Main st. and Eastern Avenue, st Johnsbury )
JOSEPH L. PERKINS,
DENTIST,
CaledOnian Block, up stairs, ST. Johnsbury, VT.
G. II. CROSS & CO.,
Bakers and Confectioners,
Main Street, st. Johnsbury vt.
EDWARD r. CLARK, M. D.,
Physician and Surgeon,
MCINDOES FALLS, VT.
Spectacles and eye glasses fitted with care and
precision.
$. IDE q STAFFORD,
Attorneys and COunseIIOrs at Law
4 IS Savings Bank, Main ST.. ST. Johnsrury
- @. v. HOOKER & SON,
= MACHINISTS,
Manufacturers Board Mills. JObbng Specially :
zffliF 20 Iy*
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

christen-
zivaukee SEN
IN outburst of
"a the arms of
nobility, the
I'D robes worth
the people,
nditions that
sture empress.
Is Bailey Aid
&c fright at the
Is at Boston.
bashful school
foot and then
HI to suffer real
aent. A bright
in amazement,
I'D be afraid of
/ minister of a
New York is
q his way into
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
A Vernii

Perfect, sir, nd My good
old father sent Is o bwn from
Vermont"
"But why diksI| so as we
passed that frsti
"Kick Of. u kick. Did
pie sugarR lows adulter-
ated sugar ;lUI0< = That kicking
is only pro Fraud."
"What Showing to the
''Is itfa the Law to kill
Pickerei hg, father 7"
"WI Lllree men who are
crowt1z mind the Man p
States Attorney, IA
Chic tsztnd "a Leading Citizen,
y. are going to arrest the
u On; they are Inquiring the
We 6f Athe Fish. When hesate,ls
tll.ssf he sual Story, theytas{ taIap
lllIR back and cry, ;;YpEl
What is the CO. IS "a s
great thiIil$ 2S Isl
tlkfns The statute book, # "a
f],f'slSasp maker Several Don
So
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28
Fridays Session.

After the morning prayer service
and transaction of regular business Ell
der Donaldson reported for the st.
Johnsbury district these facts: The
district is large-abOut so by so miles
and within its bounds there are Ala
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

ing doesn't o.
tinel, which
rhetorical
a daughtet
young princsssf
the years
was sprirSl
would not q
They say
rich was se
recent aufI
He came fo*
boy, stood
on the Otlle
agony in II
Boston gid
"To think
u.s."
The yoH4
Fifth-avei's|
reDOrted 60 {5l<I5
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

great social favor by making the in
fluential women in his congregation
believe that they had suggested the
best points in his discourses. In max
ing ii pastoral call he would declare
one of his hostess's refsaklxs admirable
and beg leave to use nexksSun-
day. He would then - 81 en-
bellished form Of ff intro
ducing it with 90 ghtest
minds | know" on Hautiful
source comes the tt
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1887-04-28

presiding. Rev. j. Il. Baxendale spoke
of the many methods and plans that
had been introduced in Sunday school
work in these later days, and urged
the necessity of faithfulness on the
part of the teachers.
Rev. j. M. Freeman, d. D., of New
York, followed with the principal ad-
dress of the afternoon. 1t was stir
ring appeal for the young and urged
practical methods of interesting them
in Sunday school work and studies
The anniversary of the N. E. Educa-
ton society followed, Rev. N. w. Gill
der presiding, with interesting ad-
dresses by Rev. w. NJ. ellis, and Rev.
A. b. Enright, the latter of Cabot. Of
fcers were elected as follows: Sunday
School Union, j. E. Knapp, president;
w. ID. Malcolm, vice president A. b.
Enright, secretary H. A. Webster,
treasurer. New England Education
society: HI. A. Spencer, vice president;
S. F. Ames and w. NJ. ellis, directors.
In the evening Rev. A. B. Truax led
the revival service, after which the an
niversary of the Church Extension So
ciety was held, DR.. w. A. Spencer con-
Quoting the service, and delivering a
stirring address on the work of the So
ciety. He said that III 900 churches
have been built in the last % years.
A million converts in % years above
all loses have been made, besides those
who, converted among us, have Joined
other churches. Two churches day
are built, bnt this is not enough to
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

MD, June 3, 1SS7.-Having been stationed at
the Braddock Distillery whilst in operation as
United States Storekeeper and Guager-
hereby certify, That JAMES CLARK & Co.,
Distillers, in the manufacture of their Pure
Malt Whiskey use only Barley Malt.
Respectfully J. P. WILLARD"
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

L. and r. Con Thursday night
of this week the Board of Managers
of the Literary and Recreation Club
held meeting and obtained rooms in
the second story of Beall, Baush &
Co.'s building for all three depa TT
ments--the reading room and library,
the gymnasium and the billiard and
pool hall. Arrangements were made
to furnish them at once.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

7 All TRAINS on the schedule stop at Hay Street
station. p. L. BURWELL,
Dec General Superintendent.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

If your breath is bad, consult DR.. Wilson,
dentist.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

Guarantee of Purity.-"CUMBERLAND
MD, June g. 1SS7.-Haying been stationed at
the Braddock Distillery whilst in operation as
United States Storekeeper and Guager-
1 hereby certify, That JAMES CLARK & Co..
Distillers, in the manufacture of their Pure
Malt Whiskey use only Barley Malt.
Respectfully, JNo. H. YOUNG"
Bucklen's Arnica Salve.-The best salve
in the world for Cuts Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin
Eruptions, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give per-
feet satisfaction, or money refunded. For
sale by G. A. Wingert.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

Publications. Were we asked what
magazine had made the most progress
during the past year, monthly ex-
animation of Denaorest's obliges us to
admit that it would be difficult for any
publication to show more enterprise
and advan cement. The number for
September, just out, shows among
many other things that the publishers
are now taking great interest in Re-
munerative Home Work for Women,
and in this number publish a prize
article on that subject. All the de-
partments are so complete that there
is nothing left to be desired informa-
ton can be found herein on every
point interesting to the household even
to the monthly news. We notice a
great acquisition to the already full
list of contributors, Mrs. Christine
Terhune Herrick, who has commenced
a series of articles on Seasonable En-
tertainments, giving complete inform
alton about each, from the form of
invitation to farewell" Published
by w. Jennings Demorest, Is East
14th street, New York.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

One bad tooth will ruin the breath. DR.
Wilson guarantees to cure all such cases.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03
DRY GOODS, NOTIONS and MILLINERY
Look, first, at our remarkably To-
figures for
DRY GOODS

LOOK, ilrSt, at our remarkably low
figures for
DRY FOODS
so pieces co!ored Silks, all shades,
reduced to 40 cents yard.
25 pieces black and colored Silks,
G2a cents u yard.
rs pieces black and colored Silks,
rs cents a yard.
Our 81 black and colored Gros
Grain Silks are special bargains, and
guaranteed to wear well.
We have also black Silks up to
$3.50 yard.
A full line of all the Spring shades
in Cashmeres at 123 cents a yard.
l yard wide Cashmeres in black
and all colors, 20 cents yard.
We have also very fine Cashmeres,
Silk Warp Henriettas, Nuns Veil
ings, Cancels Hair Cloth, Albatross
and Crepe Cloth at very low prices.
Novelties in very fine Dress Goods.
Come and see them.
Very fine French Satines, II! cts,
worth 20 cents.
Best quality Dress Ginghams and
Crinkled Seersuckers at 10 and 122
cents yard.
French Dress Ginghams, rs cents
yard.
An endless variety of White Goods
of all descriptions.
200 pieces plain white Lawn, 5, G.,
7, s, 10, 123 and Is cents a yard.
White India Linens, 10, 12!, Is,
IS, 20, rs, and up to rs cents yard.
Handsome French Batiste, 10, 123
and Is cents yard.
Unbleached Muslin, cents yard.
A very good yard wide Unbleached
Muslin, 5 cents yard.
1000 yards Remnants of the best
Calicos in the world at 81 cents a
yard.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03
ParasOES, Sunshades.

All-silk Mitts at rs cents a pair.
A large line of Cambrics and Swiss
Embroideries.
Fine Oriental lace Flouncing.
Egyptian Laces.
Chantilla, Fedora, Guipure, Span
ish and Escurial Laces-all at lowest
prices.
Beaded Collarettes, beaded Sets,
beaded Ornaments and beaded Trim
mings of all descriptions.
$500 gross very nice Dress Buttons
at cents dozen.
If you want your dress to fit per-
fectly, wear the tailor-made and
tailor-cut Corset. 1t will give you
entire satisfaction.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03

County Ne,cs.-The picnic of the
Ancient Order of Hibernians near
Cumberland last Saturday was a great
success. Eloquent addresses by Hon.
William Walsh and George l.. Wei
lington, of Cumberland, were notable
features.
Ernest Baltau, of Eckhart, died last
Saturday. He was "a years of age.
Two children survive.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03
Business Locals.

Guarantee of Purity.-"CUMBERLAN
MD, June g. 18S7.-Having been stationed at
the Braddock Distillery whilst in operation as
United States Storekeeper and Guager-
1 hereby certify, That JAMES CLARK & Co..
Distillers, in the manufacture of their Brad
dock Pure Rye Whiskey use only Rye and
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03
ADDITIONAL LOCAL ITEMS

B. B.-The game here last Saturday
between the Piedmont and Barton
clubs was close one Piedmont 10 !;
Barton 9.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-09-03
Baltimore and Ohio
RAILROAD.

Nos I, 3, 5, 1, 4, s, and daily; others
daily except Sunday.
The Washington critic., 1887-11-30

Bishop CLEARY Of Kingston, Ontario,
has left for Rome, bearing with him 10, las
for presentation to the Pope.
EDWIN Boorn celebrated his fifty fourth
birthday last week. His partner, Lawrence
Barrett, is just four years younger.
john TURNER ard the All Wise were the
only ones that remembered us on Thanks
giving Day. Thanks, gentlemen.-[Te Tell
brook, Ohio, Moon.
AN ILLINOIS farmer has made cheese in
the ehape OF man. 1t Is said TO look like
thing OF llfe-apd very likely 1t Is
YoDkers Statesman.
Miss EMMA ABBoTT will be with us this
week. She hasn't dIDed on Methodist
clergyman for several days and her appo-
tite is little sharp, IL Kansas City Times.
The rtcert exhibition OF the st. Louis
Exposition is pronounced the most sue
| cessful Of any similar exhibition ever held
| In the United States. Its receipts were
126,013; expenses, s57,759; net profit,
$69,15l.
JUDGE KREKEL, United States Judge for
the Western District Of Missouri, 10 con-
| siderably broken In health and IL is said
that he contemplates retirement from the
bench at an early day. Heis about 70 years
Z. 4 age.
HENRY OvERsToLz, the ex.Mayor Of st.
Louis, who died at bis residence In that city
etterday, was the first German ever elected
10 an office In the State Of Missouri. This
was In 1856 40 member Of the Board OF
Public Works.
Miss NJ. A. DODGE, better known as Gall
Hamilton, has been In New York and
icipity for week and is now guest In the
fsmily OF 8. B. Elkins. She will either Join
Mr.. and Mrs. Blaine abroad this winter, or
spend II In Florida.
Mr.. GEORGE FAuLDs Of st. Louis claims
to have been the youngest soldier In the late
war. He entered the service when only 1a
| years, month and days old, and served
from November Z, 1851, to January IL,
| 1866, most of the time as an orderly for his
guardian, General Robert B. Mitchell.
The Washington critic., 1887-11-30
CALMLY TO SLEEP.

We lay us calmly down TO sleep
When friendly night II come, and leave
To God the rost;
Whether We want to smile or weep,
Or wake no more on Times fair shore,
He knoweth best.
So sinks the sun In western skies
When day IL done aud twilight din
Comes silent on
So fades the worlds most Turing prize
on eyes that close In deep repose
Till wakes the dawn.
Why vex our soul with wearing caref
Why shun the grave for aching head
So cool and lowi
Have we found life so passing fair,
So lrand to be, so sweet that we
Should dread TO goy
Some other hand the task can take,
II so IL seemefh best, the task
by US begun;
No work for which we need 10 wake,
In Joy or grief, for life SO brief,
Beneath the sun.
-lLouise Chandler Moulton
The Washington critic., 1887-11-30
THE SHARP CASE.

Commenting upon the decision Of
the New York Court Of Appeals In tho
Jacob Sharp case, the Tribune this
morning says:
Tho exiies at Montreal can now safely re-
turn 10 the city.
The World regrets It:
Because It is defeat OF Justice instead OF
triumph OF Justice.
The Times says:
1t makes prosecutions for bribe giving un-
der he Jaws Of this State futile.
The Herald says:
It Is to be regretted that this important
cause shonld have beeu tried so lmperfeotly
as to fan under the condemnation of tho
Court Of Appeals.
The Sun says:
II Is eminently proper for tho public to
acauiesce IN the correctness of the Judgment,
deeply az Its necessity may be regretted.
The Star. upon the other hand, re-
marks:
The case was prejudged. 1t was decided
before the evidence was In The Court and
the Jury were cslled upon to give judgment
without hearing, and were denounced as
corrupt and unfaIthfnl II they hestated TO
obey. Never has there been In New York so
bold q defiance OF the law; never has there
been any breaking OF the law 30 dangerous to
the peace Of our sooieiy. In the midst OF
this foul clamor the Star stood alone. asking
for a preservation OF our ancient liberties and
defending the freedom and the Independence
Of tho courts.
The Washington Post thinks
IL 10 unfortunate that tho facts and the law
would not Justify the Appellate Court In
affirming the decision Of Judge Barrett, be-
cause II Ii certain sharps conviction OF tho
offonse against the people. Of which he Is un-
doubtedly guilty. Is rendered very difficult, IL
mot impossible. and because II appears TO
make the occupation which Sharp generally
followed much less hazardous.
The Same spirit that bounded on the
prosecution Of Sharp is visible In oil
these comments upon the result, ex-
The Washington critic., 1887-11-30

men; All sclons fail In dry weather.
A Connecticut avenue bride Ia talking OF
getting divorce because her husband called
In the police the other night TO remove an
apple-dumpllDg OF her own make, which
she had left In tho hall for his midnight
lunch. lie thought II was a dynamite bomb.
Mr.. Z. Berry Wall, at the last Grldlron
Club dinner, said he didn't know anything
about clothes, and couldn't make q speech.
Mr.. Wall differs from great many persons
who can makea specch and don't know any
thing about close.
Take the saloon out OF politics aud you
knock the stuflng out OF the American
Eagle.
"Your bill has been running long time"
insinuatingly remarked the butcher to
slopay the other morning.
"Tbat's bad" replied slopay, sympa-
thetically. "Wby don't you let IL walkf"
Appointment Clerk Hassler Of the Interior
gets of new conundrum every day, and
this is bis latest: why Is washington 0
good place for Anarchistsf Because they
can find all the buns they want around the
hotel Hobbies.
A case OF fine liquor has been known TO
develop into case OF delirium jams.
lie was member OF the Tariff Club and
waa favor!to with his landlady's daughter.
care you in favor of protection ?" he
said to the young lady one evening after q
club meeting.
eyes, Harry" she responded so tenderly
that the young man handed in his resigua.
tion the very next day.
Mrs. Langiry discharged her leading man
because he kissed her shoe Evidently he
thought that when she opened her mouth
she would put her foot 10 lt.
The Washington critic., 1887-11-30
A business View OF 1t.

Miss Yawse (from Bawstiue)-W do
you like the better, Mr.. Miller, winter or
springf
Mr.. Miller from Mlnneapolis)-
good bard No. 1 spring grinds pretty WELL
and there's the most money 10 1t; but, after
all, give me the regular old-fashioned
winter wheat that amt growed any and
IN guarantee you the best flour every time
-TPuck.