River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1887-07-14
ONCE ENOUGH.
AN INSCRIPTION.

Statesman.
AN INSCRIPTION.
This week there came through the
local postoilice letter addressed as
follows: ITO the state of Massachu-
setts where North Adams nestles mid
the hills peaceful and fair, there
put in the post Office safe under lock
and KEY until -- calls and asks;
is there any mail for NEE All over
the face of this letter was written the
words "Rats' and "Chestnuts," in
scribed by the different mailing clerks
through whose hands the letter had
passed. North Addms Transcript.
PROVED HIS RIGHT TO ENTER.
Stephen Girard's will prohibited
clergymen from ever entering the doors
of Girard College AT a recent visit of
the Knights Templar of Boston to the
institution, one of the Knights, well
known physician who wears a white
necktie. was passing in. The janitor
accosted him, saying:
you can't pas in here, sir; the rule
forbids it,
The HI can't" replied the ply
sici n.
All right" reioined the ianitor,
ass right in. ~ Phiiadelphjd Post.
=, ANOTHER BAD EFFECT.
Conductors Wife-It's perfect
shame the way you are behaving lately.
You come home booty nearly every
trip,
Conductor-Can'th help it, my dear!
Musht obey the law.
Wife-The law? What has that got
TO do with your recent conduct?
Conductor-I'l tell YOU. It's long
wayzle from the depot up here and
there are nine saloons on the way. OF
course, under the Interstate law |
dareshent pass them. Can't pass any
thing. you know.-Omaha World.
SHE COULD DISTINGUISH THEM.
Speaking of Mrs. Robinson and Mrs.
Jones, remarked Fangle, 'they re-
semble each other very much
Yes they look great deal alike, -
assented Mrs Fangle.
''In fact, | can't tell them apart, but
| suppose you can, my deaIP'
.'Well, | should just think | could.
Why, Mrs. Jones bonnets cost four
times as much as Mrs Robinson OIL
city Dc,rick.
A POLITICIAN OF TEN YEARS.
Teacher Johnny, how is the Pre-
sident of the United States elected?"
JohnnnJ; by New York State"
'Oh, no, johnny. That's wrong.
Try again"
.Wcll, that's what my pa says, and
he's president of the Ninety-second
Ward jackson Club"
HE FOUND HIS IDEAL.
He (anxiously)-"Miss Jones, do
you ever put your hair up in curl pa
persP'
She (ndignantly)-eNo. sir, never"
He (teuderly) -"Miss Jones, willyou
marry me?"
DIDN'T QUITE HIT THE CAT.
Boy" called a patrolman on Ram
sey street as he hurried into the alley
to find lad coming ont of back gate,
did YOU hear that report of a gun?'
.sYou bet!" was the reply.
Where was itP"
''In our back yard
"Who fired it?''
II did, and don't keep me here any
| longer Dad was in the wOodshed when
| / fired at the cat and from the way he Is
cussing and thrashing around guess |
missed the cat by about six feet
| LAUGHING TWICE DIsLoCATEs a JAW.
story from Springfield, Ohio, duly
avouched, says that while returning
from party few nights ago party
of young folks were laughing and
having a good time, when one of the
party. young lady, laughed so heartily
at some joke that she dislocated her
jaw. A young man rushed for the
nearest doctors office and took the
physician with him to set the jaw.
This was done in an instant, and the
doctor left. He had hardly gotten out
of sight when the young lady com
menced to laugh again and dislocated
the jaw second time. The young
man who had gone to summon the
doctor then essaxed to set it, and as a
result he dislocated the other side. He
grew more frightened than ever, and
rushed off second time for the doctor.
The latter came in an hour. and the
dislocation was corrected without fur
Their mishap.
A Bitter Compliment