Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-03-01
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE are e"pie tho VIII buy anything on
sight If they can be allowed to pay for 1t on
time.-7fcdd SJfHgs.
THERE'S woman at the bottom of it,"
as the man said W hen his wife fell into a well.
-HGrtf,r6 SuhddyJ urRdi.
A MAIDEN LADY says that if single life is
bad 1t stands TO reason that double life is
twice as bad. But ladies rarely understand
mathematics.-Scri ntoN Truth.
THERE may be other points of resemblance
between John L. sullivan and Mrs. Patti.
but the only one we think of no W is that with
out m"ui h neither of them could get so
good llvlng.-Soate, Cttle JoUtndi.
~ SHALL have to let my account rum"
sald the lmpecunious customer.
But how is a bill gong to run without
feeLF' sug2' sted the storekeeper. "SuppOS-
ing you foot it.'-B Jst,n TanScrjDt.
MRS. woRCEsTER-Yes, our boy used to
have regular its. But he got over all that,
Mrs. Shoo5ter-HOW?
Mrs. Worcestershire get his things in a
ready mace clOthin store.-Epc1dnge.
WHAT wuz de tex dis mornin'. Mr.. John
son? | wuZ too late"
1T wuz about de merices, Brother Snow.
Of fish"
II don't see any mericle about dat"
ION, de meric!e am dey all didn't bust."-
The Judge.
IT was at watering p ace up the shore last
summer. An old grandma, who felt free to
talK TO any and everybody. got into CONVEX
sation with young married woman ana
asked:
what business is your husband inP"
"He's a Wall street broker"
Good gracious! IS. that possible! What's
tn" longest term the Judge can send him up
forP'- W'H Street Ntacs.
SUNDAY school Observation-Disclosures you
ever thought, my dear children, of the value
OF time and how necessary it is that we
should seek shelter before it is too late?
Oh idren-Ies. sir.
supernIe ndent-Yes, heard to-day of
remarkable case. A sailor entered a mission
chapel, became converted, determined to lead
bet err life. and The very next morning he
fell from yard-arm and wa killed. Now
docs not that look like rrevidenceP
Bright BOv-Yes. He took him when he
had chance.-OmGbG Void.
A GENTLEMAN owns a fine tract Of cedar
land not Tar from Austin, Tex. and a few
days ago he was told that some negroes were
cutting down the timber. 81 h. rode ont TO
see about 1t. To hIs HStonishment he found a
Neaithy white nelgHbor, with a team ami
wagon, hauling of he timber. "Why. am
asionshed. Colonel said the owner OF the
land. II heart that n lot of negroes were
stealing my timber. and here l find YOU, q
white man, cutting M timber You ought to
te ashamed OF YOURSELF "Well, To tell the
truth" resnonded the other party. IL hate to
steal timber like a darkv. but the Sc cedar
trees make such good fence rails that con-
clnded to drop all pride Of race. Tea ie
PASSENGER from Springfield was telling
of his purchase OF an Overcost from Hebraw
merchant on South Clark ret. The price
WAS $50. 1T dot goat doan't suit you, pring
! 1t back right avav, an ven gif EOu your
| monish pack, suhicct to all fluctuations in the
| market. II dc goat market goes up, you get
more monish as you paid vor INN; if de goat
| market goes down, you lose the difference
| only. my dear, pcsides havin' de Use OF de-
goat" The passenger from Springfield paid
over his $50 and took the coat. Next day,
| having examined the garment more thorough
| y, he concluded that he didn't want it., and
| so took il back. "Vot! Dot goat not SUIT
| yCu:" exclaimed the merchant. ''Neil, We
take him back. Isaac. put dot goat on de
| shelluf. am Sif dc shendtlrman5 six toilars."
"Rut paId you $50 for the coat, and want my
| money back" $50. my friend, but goats hal
| gone down last night. i guess it vos de war
| news from Europe. Goats are gone down,
an' We have marked our whole stock at gosl.
| Isaac. S. for the shentemaus. You only lose
| de difference, my dear, an you had de goat
! all night. O Hs' aid.