The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-04-03

For time could not gain sufficient courage
TO go back and look at the dead man. but at
length. by dint Of active reasoning-that after
all death only death, matter in what
guise 1t camel took up tie light and returned
to the bed. AS thought. the body lying
upon its back. raised the candle and looked at
the face.
Was mad or dreamingl
Bewilderment in moment had taken the
place of fear. There lay my bed-fellow, his
eyes and mouth closed, breathing regularly and
sleeping apparently as peaceful the most
healthy of infants. There was not the slightest
indication of death anywhere about him. In one
sense of the word it was relief, and in another
it was not. That had seen him dead FIVE min
utes before was, in my mind, not open to dis
pute. | was satisfied that 1 could not have
dreamed 1T, and was equally satisfied that it
was NOT Imagination. Even yet could feel the
pressure of that dead hand upon my breast. Ali
said to myself. will touch that hand and see
whether it is naturally warm. whether it Is
still cold and death-ke. 1t still lay across his
own breast, where it had dropped when its hold
upon me had relaxed. / reached out to take it,
when the sleeping man moved. stepped back
fearing that be would awaken. He did not
however, and / returned still intent upon invss-
tigating the phenomenon that had SO distressed
me. only to find that the hand that I wished to
touch had been placed beneath the covers, and
TO get at it without disturbing the sleeper
impossible.
After the experience had just gone through
could not bring my mind to 60 to bed again.
l accordingly dressed myself, and. taking an old
newspaper from my pocket, sat down by the
wash stand and read it through from first col
umn to last, advertisements and all, stopping
every now and then to wonder over the dead
face had seen and the dead clutch had felt
When the gray light of early dawn made sickly
the yellow light of the second candle had
burned, was still far from the solution of the
mystery. nor did Wynkoop himself do anything
towards solving 1t. when, upon his waking.
told him, in somewhat modified terms, of the
a
and then distressed, but finally regained his
composure
SIT was the prospect OF seeing triple execu-
tion," he said. as he stopped down to see to part
his hair in the all awry lookingglass which
hung much to low for him, ''Y on are not up to
it. am afraid. You were dreaming. Hold:
dreaming-that was it. AS the modest old lady
remarked, you had the neht-horse"
Vengeance is mine; will repay, saith the Lord.
With his finger pointing to these words in the
Book of Books Clement Wynkoop, cold in death,
was discovered one morning six mon tbs after
our first meeting, sitting in An armchair in the
parlor of a magnificent suite OF apartments in an
uptown hotel in New York city packet of
papers found in the room, and addressed to me,
contained the following letter and extracts from
the unfortunate mans journal.
The letter was dated midnight.
Il Go not know why / should have selected
yon." it began, 'as the person TO whom to COM
mit before l 60 hence. the secret that for the
d
boy carried the wolf. l am impeled to write,
however-impeled by indescrbable some
thing that tells / cannot die until have
made full and free confession to man as we'll
as to God of my crime and my punishment.
And with the impulse to write comes also the
impulse to address that confession to
you. This must be my apology. Perhaps the
fact that you already know something of my
af1iction-for you will remember it when l re-
call certain incidents of orr first meeting at
Berryvile six months ago-has had somewhat
to do with my selection of a legatee. / beg of
you DO not make public the facts of my sin and
my suffering under two years from tonight
BY that time my faults will, perhaps have been
in a measure forgotten, and men will be apt to
think more kindly of me and give me larger
share of their sympathy than if the story were
given when my shortcomings and idiosyncrases
were fresh in their memories to mitigate the
pathos of the tale. Some day / wish you to tell
it. l wish it told. because, possibly. it may
save others from fate as horrible mine.
"In a few hours 1 shall have passed the veil
which hides the other world from this You
will find me sitting here in this chair, and the
newspapers-yours and mind, and the others
will record another suicide. People will ant
to know why / died. Tell them because of phys
ical suffering which had grown unbearabe-
that will look we'll in print That is oil that the
coroners jury need know for the purpose of a
verdict
Il have resolved that my last hour shall be
bright one. / do not want to go out of my mis-
cry In gloom ana darkness My life mas been
gloomy and dark enough. God knows. Its last
moments shall be as bright as l can make them.
have chosen and paid literally for the best
room in the hotel have lighted every Gas jet
in the apartment. | have fruit beside me, Of
which l shall eat before die. / have wine too,
and with the wine shall drink my release.
have it here before me as 1 write. A little
phial containing a dozen drops or less OF
Scheeles hydrocianic acid. 1t is an easy death.
they say. My heart beats will grow slower and
slower; more feeble and more feeble until they
have ceased altogether. and l shall have passed
away from all the toll, the WEAKNESS, the regret,
the modification and the agony of this life into
! the-What2 A few hours will tell. Speculation
| is vain. Before go 1 shall burn every paper /
| possess-every trace of my past life will be gone
| except what is contained in the pages from my
| journal that shall select and leave in packet
| with this letter for you. Don't Judge me TOO
| harshly. Think of me kindly sometimes. /
| have thrown open the windows and raised the
| shades to the top. feel the cool midnight air
| tanning my face for the last time. In an hour
| all will be over"
The letter broke off thus There was no formal
ending. just as there had been no formal begin
| ming.
| The inclosed extracts from the journal were
! as follows:
CHICAGO, Dec %, 1S79-Hard work yester-
day attending Christmas celebrations When
| it was all over, Potter, Stevenson, and some
others spent the rest of the night at Glbbons's
place. Metaphysics and religion the subjects of
celebrating the birth of humbue. Poor little
| Potter is supersttious little fool with rever-
ence largely developed He was horror-stricken
! at the way | talked, and l rather believe he
thought was boastine, but was not. I offered
| to bet him months pay he could not prove
that there was any reality in the God he be-
| lieved in.
| "Prove to me there is not a Cod" he said.
| "Your God is all powerful, is he notl' asked.
| ''To be sure" he replied.
| eff he be all powerful" I added, 'let him
strike me dead. l defy him."
/ Little Potter turned pale at what he termed
| nay "damnable blasphemy." 1 laughed at him,
| for there was sign of that alleged All power.
ful Beings existence. / still stood erect and
smiling. Potter said his God would not degn
| to notice such threat. My challenge was be
! meath the consideration of the Supreme Ruler.
Did think 1 could call down His visible wrath
at my own sweet will9 1t was presumption.
Poor little Potter.
JANUART L. 188O.-A week has passed, during
! which time have not had the courage to write.
| Even new l do not know how to tell the story.
l am ashamed to confess it. Am | paralyzed, OF
am dying by ipchess Can it be that there is a
| God. and that He heard my threat2 despise
myself for being weak to believe 1t: and
yet am undergoing experience that is az
horrible as it is unusual. On the morning fol
| lowing the night of my boast before the boys a,
| Giobonss. | awoke with strange prickng sen
sation in my right arm, if the circulation had
| been stopped and had suddenly started again
The next morning my arm was numb. The cir