davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-03-24
lie Felt Safer.

A clergyman was so unfortunate
as to he caught in a severe gale IN
the voyage out. Tho water was
exceedingly rough. aud tho chip
persisten,ly buried her nose in the
sea. The rolling was constant, and
at last the good man get thoroughly
frightened. He believed they were
destined for q watery grave. He
asked the captain il lie could moi
have prayere. The captain took
him by the arm aud led him down
TO the forecastlo. where the stars
were singing aud swearing. "There.
said he, "when you hear them swear-
ing you may know there is no dIn-
ger"
lie wen back feeling better; but
the storm Increased his alarm. Dis
coDsolate and unassisted be manage
cd to stagger TO the forecasile again
The ancient mariners were swearing
as ever MARY" be snid as be
crawled into bis berth, TO his gym
pathetic wife, after tackipg ncross
wet deck "Mary. thank God
there swearing yet
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-03-24
Philadelphia & Erie r R Division

NORTHERN CENTRAL RAILWAY.
Trains Leave Supbury:
5los IN, For Bslefoute, Erie and Cansndai.
gus.
e61 q m, For Lock Haven.
~ 52p w, For Bsiiefonte, Rane and Csnsn.
daigus.
$40 D IN, For Remove and watkins.
7OOa m. For Catawi.sa and Hazs lton.
955 a IN and o SS p IN For Wilhesbsrro.
ob5 m, II o5 m, $40 IN. For shamokin
n q Mount Carmel.
Trains Leave Seltnsgrove Junction:
Q So a m, arriving at PhiladcIphis rs p m. View
York 9 20 m, Baltsmore 80 IN, wash
ington eos IN.
bs D m. arriving at Philadelphia 50 p m, rew
York 935 y IN, Baltimore e+b p m, wash
ington A. pm.
7 81 n m. .arriv,ng at Philndelpi iai IS "a m. New
York; 10 a IN, BAltimoret So IN, Wash
ington 8 O5 a m,
Train also Leaves Sunbury:
Z SO n m. arriving at Philadelphia rs N Ne
York II 81 n IN, Baltimore . Is q m, wash
ington so q m.
J.R. WOOD, Gepr Pass Agsut
CHAS. z. PuGH, 9eb1 Manager.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1887-03-24
NURSERY.

REV G. W. WALTER. Salesman
lefor Chas. " Stewart & Co.'S, Nursery
Newark. New York, viii bs pie sssd to secure
orders for this popular hrm, for anything In
tho nursery llne. Choice and New Varieties
speciality, Positively ouiseli any 9th or. IA
price and quality. Sstisfsctlon gusrA pteed
he VIII call on all parties that address him
Jan. H, $50.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
Law OFFICES AND INTERSTATE Law.

Colonel Charles W. Moulton has become fully settled
I'm his now set law offices in the Equitable Building
CHANGING over the rich upholstery and the velyety
carpets OF the rooms he shakes his head in sort of
desparng ana Intellectual protest against such choice
ooncomitants OF lawyers Office 1t hardly seems the
thing" says Colonel Moulton " that lawyers Office
should be attractive IL Is so different from the
old conventional arrangement. Everybody knows what
she old style OF Office furniture and decoration was
wooden bottom chairs spttoon books and shelves and
dust and cobwebs This present luxury invites TO ease
and then too 1t isn't the sort OF thing for man S
clients to see 1t the law look attractive 10
them dare say shall work hard here AS IN my old
Cincinnati office and cant say thse amor inc style
Colonel Moulton objects to holding up the Interstate
Commerce. law by Itself and considering IL as thing
apar the merits OF the law or It's dement's ex
but ali lawyers know that law Is to he examined
into with reference existing facts and circumstances
A. Ia 10 be nterpre ted upon precedents ana previous
decisions as we'll upon for specific application
n IL therefore impossible for the Interstate Commits
Zion to Law down general Interpretation OF the law IL
NAV DO that entire law after adjudication on pecihc
cases will found TO be good for nothing thinK that
when n has been fully considered and Ito Application In
sooaed law left than viii make page OF the statute
Won see them that t is impossible to hold THIS law up oy
itsef and ccise IT, IL cannot override existing const
tutonnl interpretations and Is only when these have
tananr OF how much law there is in the measure
and how much OF Il is virtually waste paper IL may be-
az aeems probable. that IL VIII be round that the only
b,se an called at least which the commission VIII find
@ hort than for long haul there Ia nothing TO pre-
rn,t as hiRh charge for both. Whatever the result
49, he &c seems to me utter lmpossbility 70 criticse
the measure rs a whole in itself and by Itself"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
souE OF OSCAR wILDES YARNS

A. o.
lie told two the other day illustrative OF the disad-
vantages the houses In block being too much alike
man was asked to dinner, and he went 70 the house
next door 20 the one where he had been hidden, His
name was announced and his host stepped forward to
wecome him As IL CHANGED, the guest know the wirs
and not the husband. :" am so very sorry. said the
host that my wife Is too Ill to come down stairs But
we mu.t get on az we'll can without her. Still
thinking he was the right place. the guest stayed on
took pretty girl I'm TO dinner and had charming
syeninr Two afterwsrd he met the lady who was
N have entertained him. and she assaed him with re-
nroaohes for spelling the symmetry Of her dinner table.
And IL came out that he had inadvertently dned next
door. -. ..u.,. -.
went to an evening party. They knew no one. and
seemed desperately out Of place When the lass gues
were gone the husband said 20 tho wife queer old
codsers those two old friends Of yours" OF mine
why they were your friends, surely never saw them
beforev Well, sure nsver did " ana inquiry
allotted the fact that there was servants ball next
door and that the old couple had meant TO go there and
had been as uncomfortable a. possible at not finding any
OF w men NJ Wide told these stories they sounded
hpt row i've written them down, ! really don't think
sh.rdo However Ut tell the tale as heard IL told
md sso ri tell You another widely current In Lon
don that certain duchess invited one OF the cowboys
~ tha American exhibition dine, and he arrived 81
the appointed time with his wife and baby He said
"a no one TO leave the baby WITH he had 10
brins him The baby conded to the ducal nursery.
md be dinner was served It's the fashion TO tell this
story 80 you may a. well believsn
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04

Cadeau Bleu Tavern near Paris The second act rep
rescnts the Boudor of the Prima Ballerna, while the
illuminated garden at Versailles in the time Of Louis
XIV The sale of seats tor the Marquis begins TO-
morrow morning.
Various means have been adopted by the nanah ers
OF Allan Dare" the play by Admiral Porter when
Is to be produced tomorrow night at the fiitn
Avenue Theatre, to draw attention to the piece In
vitaticns sent to all naval officers within reach
OF NewYork city, and Admiral Porter himself will be
present at the first nights performance Stress laid
by the managers the fact that the period OF the
play which Is that OF the first quarter OF the present
century, affords opportunity for picturesque cosaming
In producing Held by the Enemy" at the Star
Theatre, where high prices prevail, after 1t had
already been at theatres on the East end West
sides OF town devoted to popular prices and single
week runs, the managers of the piece took serious
chances That they correct however, in their
surmise rs to the continued popularity OF the piece
has been borne cut by its success. The business
snos the first night has been entirely satisfactory ana
there every prospect that this Will continue 10 10
the during tho three weeks that it has yet to run
at this theatre. Mr.. Rockwell. who has managed the
fortunes OF the piece tor Mr. Gillette since its produc
tiop gave glowing account the other day OIL MS ,rP
WIN 1t to San Francisco Inc expenses sau a ar,
Rockwell, were 80 large that when sat down ana
figured things up on my arrival at San Franoisco
little bit scared. Everything, however, has
turned out satisfactorily. Not only did we pay re-
markable engagement In San Francisco itself, but in
Omaha and other cities In which we played Tor low
nights on way home we broke the record in the
matter OF receipts and reached home. having made
handsome profit during our eleven weeks engagement
averaging over 81 900 week. am now engaged Ia
securing second company which we shall SEND out
to those cities not visited by Company NO. ana,
judging from the appicu lions have had for posuons
In this company, am almost ready TO coneiude tnse
every actor and actress In the country is looking Tor
engagement"
@The Hi,best Bidder is still playing to extra
business at the Lyceum Theatre. and had arrange
ments not been made for the production OF The
Great Pink Pearl 1t would doubtless run to profit
able business until the opening of the regular season
at this house. Rehearsas OF the English farcical
comedy already In progress, Mr. Kelley having
arrived early last week. did also several OF the Eng
lish ACTORS who 10 be seen In IL. Madame
Naucnze who is to take the leading wcmans part has
been in the city tor some time. Mr.. Sothern VIII
play the Leading light comedy part while Mr. Kelley
chose the rather heavier part OF the Russian noDlenan
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
SOME BASHFUL BRTDEGRO0MS.

A Justice OF the Peace In Saratoga County recently
Joined pair who so'embarrassed that they hardly
knew what they doing. The man wore white
straw hat which he whred his finger before the
mony began. When told to stand up he jumped before
the Justice with the greatest alacrity. For a few
moments he did know what to do with the hat but
finally found his way out OF the difficulty by putting IL
between his knees. This was too much for the bride:
With the handle of her paraso she caught the hat pulled
IL position and then, aba shed at her audacity,
dropped hat and parasol To the floor.
The same Justice tells story OF another couple who
came to be married. The was dreadfuly puzzled,
and without realizing the act pulled cigar from his
OF the ceremony reached where bride and groom
join hands he happened to have the cigar IN his right
hand What do with the cigar he apparently did not
know. The Justice paused minute and then again
directed the pair to join hands. BY this time the poor
fellows embarrassment painful. He gave one
agonzed look the Justice OF the Peace and stuck the
cigar In his mouth Before the ceremony could be con-
cuded the Justice had to take the cigar from between
the mans Inns.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
THE IA vORITE OFFICE LIAR.

The Listener remembers that earnest and conscien-
tious liar formerly known In certain newspaper Office
as Lying F00tyille, or George Washington Footvile
the fancy served F00tyie could not open his mouth
without lying, either by direct statement or implication
suppression, In some other He innocent
with malice aforethought the truth simply in
him. and he lied from necessity Of his being He had
charge Of certain department OF work where his lying
propensity had opportunity to lind reflection In the
paper but which was an important department OF semi
mechanical work. The autocrat of the establishment
him. he did to everybody ese Regularly every day
thu auocrat called him into his private office and loud
words Mould be heard within. Presently Footville
would come out radiant and triumphant.
"Ah boys" he would say yon should have heard the
blessing gave the old man! told him some plain
truths about the way he is run ming things and gave to
Footyillcs abuse Of the autocrat was nnedays
wonder In the Office until day Of the boys"
managed to get the door Of the private Office openFoot.
Vile always closed 1t caref lily when he went Inland
there eayesdroppng party organized, for tho
good OF the service at the door, to hear Fooville go
for the old man." The dialogue began with an emphatic
complaint from the autocrat about something that had
been done In Foovilles department. Footville made
weak and shutting explanation, and the auocr2t came
In with denunoiatory rejoinder The moro Footville
shuied and exteuuated the softer and more apo0getic
his voice while the autOcrats to tones OF
thunder and terms Of abuse used which other
In the office would ha, submitted TO. Poor Foot
ville his excuses completely rddled, could only fater
out
I'll try 10 do better, SIR"
Then tho door was softly closed from without. The
boys had heard enough But when Footville came oue
he was radiant as ever. -.
asked trumphantly sob, gave him particular fits to.
day!"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
his FIRST TASTE OF 0HAMPAaNE.


" Have you any champagne
The questiOner was an awkwardlooking fellow an.
parently from the country, the place q well-known
Grandave. restaurant and the time. early Saturday
evening. Upon being answered In the affirmative, he
asked
"Do you soil IL by tho glassr
NO. sir, by the bottle" replied the walter
"All right. Please give me bottle"
The young man took seat and the wine was brought
and uncorked In his presence. Filling his glass after the
manner Of empying bottle Of beer. he hesitat-
ingy raised it to his lips then after moments
sheraton blew the froth from and swallowed the con-
tents with one gup II was so good that he repeated
the dose until the bottle empty The occupants OF
adjacent chairs had meanwhile become interested and
watching the vigorous winedrnker with the keen
est interest Apparently satisfied with himself he called
for tencent cigar and pulled away contentecly When
he got ready to he handed the waiter quarter. Tho
Tsutono beersnger eazed at the piece OF silver and
then at the countryman. in und:sguised amazement
Haven't you forgotten the champagne =" said he
Certainly not Take it out OF the quarter glibly
answered the young man. The waiter attempted 70 exc
plain that champagne not ive-cen drink but the
innocent granger would have Of It, Then tho
prietor appeared the scene and ana In terms that
stirred up the stagnart waters or the river demanded
the reason of the mans conduct The embarrassed
wouldbe blood pleaded ignorance Of the rules Of high
society paid his Bill and retired to hide his confusion
from the amused wd The proprietor then parayzed
everybody by setting up the drinks all around.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
THE Ruling PA ssIOy STRONG,

youngstrr Of some eight ten summers was baanos
ing himself on his stomach on the top OF fence An
apple branches barely within his reach, and
the boy making not altogether unsucccss
full clutches very green promoters OF collie aud
family disturbance when his paternal parent Issuing in
haste wrathful mood from the door OF neighborng
house. grabbed log OF his hopeful scion and began pull
ing hereat with great vgor ard redundancy OF epthet
and recapulative admonltion from which we gathered
that the young gentleman had been known to attempt
similar violations OF sanitary laws and the eighth COM
mapdment in the not remote past. I" You wicked boy!
exclaimed the father; :" haven't told you time and
again TO let fruit alone I'll strap well IL r
thisi Come down here this Instant" The boy was
taken aback when found attachment put upon
him but oasting scared glance his shoulder, and
seeing by whom the same was made, called out, say,
pap, let up half minute will yer see daisy big
feler Just let git IT, and then yer wollOp me all
yer want teri" We obliged TO say that this pathetic
and selfsacrhcing appeal was treated with contempe
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
BEAUTY AND UTILITY COMBINED.

7
Philadelphia and his Boston friend were sitting
IN a restaufant and the Boston man said: You people
have considerable artistic taste" AS how asked the
Quaker between bites Here, for instance" said his
friend Look at that doorway heaped Up with flowers
and trailing vines giving such fresh aud pastoral air
TO the room. declare IL is thoroughly artistic" It
is very useful, said the Philadelphia man. Useful
Yes useful You will observe that the cashiers desk
Is near the artstically decorated You Will also
observe that IL is impossible TO make exit through
the artistic doorwayat least. without attracting aten-
ton-c consequently they cannot slide out without pay
ing Alas for human nature! That IL the for the
artistic decoration" The Boston man heayed mighty
sigh of regret and ate his steak In silence.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
spornrYo THE LORDS WORK.

lrIo Batss tn Ihs Irostasaes yv.Ina1 ,,,,, q,
the cars TO brilliantly handsome young woman, whose
manner In the sharpest possible contrast TO the
serenity OF the elder lady The conversation car
ed on In tones waxing continually higher. so that one
could not help ovsrhearng the elder say, In voice
raised, but still calmi -, =, .
"Thee must remember, my dear that no is stu thy
husband and that the lord made him."
'sperhaps the Lord made him." the young woman TO-
torted with Instant and malicious readiness bus the
devil must have got hold the mould before vas coiai
The man has his finger marks al over"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
CURRENT ANECDOTES.
A YBYTRILoQUIAL GENIUS.

little Boston boy who taken to the eDtertains
ment Of ventriloquist some time ago and who .
close observer Of the performers modus operandi
companied his parents last week TO his fathers native
town, and among the places visited during their rural
soourn the country cemetery where sleep the pro.
gentors OF his paternal parent The latter pointed out
TO the child certain mound, SAYING There DEAR 10
the grave Of your grandfather The little fellow gazed
then seized by sudden idea stopped down and rappns
there following 1t up with a sefsupplleda Yes in
as deep and cultural tone his little TIN oat could
make vocal Does you want 10 come up he resumed
in his natural pitch OF voice. and again dropping to tho
lower tone answered his query with and hoi.
low mo" The parents, greatly shocked cut short
further venroquai Efforts on the part OF the rre
cOcous child.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
LoNGZGO.

When at eve sit alone,
Thinking Of the past and gone
when the clock, with drowsy finger,
Marks how long the minutes IiDger~~
And the embers, dimly burning,
Tell of life {, dust returning,
Then my lonely chair around.
With q quiet, mournful sound,
With q fnurmur soft and low,
Come the ghosts Of long ago.
One by one count them DER,
Voices that are heard NO more,
Tears that loving cheeks have wet
Words whose music fingers yet,
Holy faces. pale and fair
shadowy locks OF waving mar.
Happy sighs and whispers dear'
Songs forgotten many year,
tips of dewy fragrance. eyes
Brighter, biuer than the skies,
Odora bresthed from Paradise.
And the gentle shadows glide.
softly murmuring at my side,
Tiil the long, unfriended day
All forgotten fades away.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
"oBEEK. CARRIED TIE DAY

From The Burdlo Courier.
Last season a company billed at the Court Streat
Theatre found itself In hole there wasn't enough
money available to bring them here The agent wired
thus to Manager Jacobs: Hard up. Send fares for
company "-naming the amount Mr.. Jacobs answered.
in this wise That's cheeky. Don't you want board
bill also q short time another message from
tho energetic agents Yonr kind offer accepted Please
send draft for board giving the I'D ditioDal hgnre re-
ouirsd The successful turned TO Mr.. Winston
and cooliy said Better send him what he wants"
That company played big engagement here and had
expenses.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
PATERFAU VILLAS TOOK HIN AT HIS WORD.
.Ttllu

Some years ago a German gentleman, with moro
money than brains, promised house to married
couple in Bahrenfed, Pruss!athe present to be made
provided the laly brought twelve children into the
world When the twelfth infant arrived the happy father
trotted round the wealthy party and reminded him OF
hs promise but the rich affected 20 treat the whole
affair joke. " It's not much of a joke for me-"
moaned the pater with a woebegone expression OF coun
teuance Then he left and went TO law. The result is
that the snpreme Court holds that the wealthy idiot
must fulfil his bargain. Whereat he wceps, walls aud
gnashes his false teeth. The local dentist watching
i'm wit iufer sat
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04

lie cemetery In 6ecopd-ave between Second and Third
SITS but Its records do not disclose the name Of Da
Ponte nor do those Of the Marble Cemetery In Second
st. between First and Second At the Office of
Calvary Cemetery an employe who has been there
many years said that Da Ponte was buried In the
Eleventh ST. place. and this is indicated too, by Samuel
Wards assertion that he was buried In "the Roman
Cemetery H. X
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04
PREPARrNG FOR TIE POULTRY SNOW

THE SUCCESS LAST YEAR TO BE RHPEATED-
SOME OF THE JUDGES.
It Is only OF recent years that poultry breeding has
been raised TO the rank OF science and that poultry
fancers have placed themselves alongside those who
devote themselves 70 the improvement OF the different
breeds OF cattle horses and dogs Tie Poultry Show al
the Madison Square Garden last February 70 many
people a revelation TO what may he dono With the
homely fowls vino cuck and scratch arousd the farm
yard TO some also II 6 surprise TO learn that rich
men care they do to devote good deal OF time and a
vast amount OF money 10 the and improvement OF
their chicken yards while others amazed at the
prices asked received for De specimens OF acknow
edged breeds.
Much has been done TO further the interests OF fine
n,uItry breeiing by the New.York Poultry Exchange,
a, the Office OF whose manager, Mr. Clark. In Dey-st
NAV generally be seen some particularly choice speci
mems of poultry novelty. The Exchange, which mum
her, among It's members OF the well known amateur
reeders BY which meant those who breed rather iof
pleasure than profit successfully organized the snow OF
last February aud hard at work preparing ior ts
second exhibition to be held at the Madison Square
Garden December Ia to 81, and II IS ke 70 prove
exceedingly interesting to the general public as wen az
TO faucers only will the showing OF nne strains Oh
birds be q good one, but many novelties pertaining 10
selected are j. X. Fitch. Of Natick, Mass D. T. Blok-
nell of Buffalo; d. Nevins, of Philadeiphiaj George
o. Brown, Of Baltimore; Abel Stevens OF Meiesey,
Mass and George g. Pratt Of Bridgeport me pigeon
department has been put under the supernendehce on
MrL t. s. and win be made special feature OF !ne
exhibition. Tho month Of December 10 chosen TOT Tue
Condition the cockerels and pullets have just attained
their full plunsge and the old birds have just
their Az rule too the weather Is not 90 cold
ia December as In January or even February.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04

..no,,t all spsak nj Onoe"-Now for IL Why should
o say that baEsrs AZ class are likely to be OF more
idle habits than other ment Why, because, you sse'
they are all regular loafsrA-lJudy.
pi,r,nction and a Difference. -Perspring Esthess;
an this too-too awfully hot weather 10 killing me-
can't even eat" Captain Aardup !" No more can !
q GU Il: Al. my boy I've no nezsy."-tFun.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1887-09-04

Cadeau Bleu Tavern near Paris The second act rep
rescnts the Boudoir of the Prma Balerna, while the
third act and the most elaborate OF ell the sets Is tne
umina ted garden at Versailles in the time OF Louis
XIV, The sale OF seats tor the Marquis begins to-
morrow morning,