Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1887-05-06
FUN
A ROWING blade-a razor.

A ROWING blade-a razor.
DOES good headwork-the COM.
The best illustrated paper on
bank-note.
THE home-stretch-trying to M,
both ends meet.
The favorite air of the terpsicbo,..
corn doctor-"Let strip the LIGHT ~
tastic toe."-St Louis Magazine,
AFAsH1oS paper says that colors No,
the face should be soft and indesa.a
able. This would rule out q ~
many noses.
COY and grief" says a philosonA.
in Tid-Bits, always follow One ~
other" One side, at least, of this
true. When Joy gets ahead G.,
quickly follows.
AN astronomer claims to have al
covered stars lately which the mol
powerful telescopes are unable ia
veal. We advise him to sprinkle asI,
on his sidewalk.
FRANK STOCKTON is said to ho,.
written some Of his funniest stor;;I
under the inspiration of neuralo;
This is easily accounted for. mi
humor was in his blood.-Free Pres
MULTIPLICATION PRovERB.
That half o loaf is better than no brea3
Is evident, for hunger twill ellay,
So half u loaf for toilers, it is said,
Is better than to have no holi1av
Boston Courier.
A YOUNG man advertised for a wifi
his sister answered the advertisemen
and now the young people think thcI
is no balm in advertisements, while ii
old folks think it's very hard to hay
two fools in the family.
He went Sunday afternoon to ia,
her to vespers. "-Ah," she said as 5
greeted him, II never knew o we
musical" "Nor am T." he replie
"Why, yes you are! Amt you a yesp
him?" Then the concert began
Washington Critic.
FRIEND Ito Robinson) - I've ID
heard that Mrs. Robinson met with
runaway accident this morning.
didn't learn the particulars. Anyboj
injured? Robinson (cheerfullD-N
body but the fellow who ran away wi
her.-NeW York SIN.
HOUSEHOLD hints -Ink stains
mahogany furniture will disappear
treated as follows: Procure n carpenta
chiscl and gouge out the spots til
soiled. The holes may be filed
with putty. To remove stains frd
charactcr--irhcrit q fortune of a MILL
dollars.
Gas REGARDS art and that sort
thing, Miss Breezy" Il. remarked to
Chicago young lady, "St. Louis q
Chicago rank about equal, do th
not?" 20, my, no." she repla
promptly; "when it comes to the artist
Chicago cuts the much wider swat
Puck.
THEY use the whipping-post III DID
ware on purely patriotic grounds.
the time they are through with the q
prit he has become transformed intd
sort Of thirty-second cousin of 4
American flag; his eyes are full of sa
and his back of stripes.-St. Lo,
Magazine.
He entered the smoking-room OF 4
steamship on which he was a passeng
to Liverpool, remarking: "Terrd
dull voyage we are having. Would
some of you gentlemen like to indul
in a little game of poker just to
time" Several gentlemen would, a
a game was made up. The gentlem
who proposed it was winner for
whil7, and he was radiant. "Nothi
like cards to brighten up a sea yd
age" he remarked. A few hours aft
he was in the cabin getting signers
a protest against gambling on boa
transatlantic steamships. He Vi
cleaned out.-Ieras Sit1imgs.
IT'S SHE.
Who taught my wife her little tricks?
WHO makes Inc hustle the coal and sticks
My other-in-law.
Who my duty doth explain?
Who proved to me my lack of brain?
My mother-in-lnw.
Who makes me wish TINT I had died
Long ere l met my longtime bride?
Who prescribes tho dose of salts?
VINO tells me of my many faults?
Ny mother-in-law.
VINO is it says My girl cnmc down
10 marry you, you ugly clown?'
who is it rings the chestnut bell
When I q good old-timer tell?
My mothcr-in-law.
~Hho1nakes HE get up Ill my car
And drives me from my ducEy dear
10 where they bead the lnber bccr'
10 you, my friend, l make it clcar-
My mother-iu-law
--(Iir11n Iy,..J1,