The Hawaiian gazette., 1887-05-10

all the receipts for money paid to the Grand
Duke and Skyhigh. After that he expects
| Chinese war vessel there and she will bonn
| bard the Ducai mansion, and he has also en-
gagged few pirates who promise to bring him
the Grand Dukes scalp. You Lie says it's
hard job getting that $4,000 back from the
Grand Duke.
You know told you a short time ago they
were building Joe Sykes uniform down at
the Marine railway, and last Friday it was
launched. Well, Joe put himself inside of
it and commenced to waltz briskly around in
a sort Of careless way, and capsiZed himself
uniform and ali, and was picked up badly
| demoralized with sprained elbow, and
other minor details. ! told Joe to 90 slow
on the start, but it was no use-he Just had
his own way and now he will pay for his
fun. You can't teach these young roosters
any thing-what they don't know would fill
big book. Joe is now in dry dock being re-
coppered and fastened.
Says Bliff. "did you see the grub they
were putting on board the Conundrum last
week ?'' | said no. The boy went on" who
ever furnished that lot done good stroke
for himself-cleaned out all his old stock.
The canned stuff was particularly gO0d-the
tins bulged out showing that no expense had
been spared to get the best, and they got the
oldest and most reliable in the market They
will be in big luck if they don't have an ex-
plosion in the old hooker after they get to
sea. laid eyes on box of what | thought
were cannon balls coated over with fuz or
wool, and asked the sentry, who had his
eye on them for fear they might get away, if
they were for the cannon 7" With wither-
ing look at me and my yendancy. he said
No; him cheese for Admiral to eat" This
let Bliff. out-he did not know that our
dealers carried such old and well seasoned
stores i'll stock, but he was mistaken.
sob, N.Y." says BIiff, ''there must be lots
of money in the saloon business down at
Samoa" l asked the boy why he thought so?
Says he, ''just look at the pile of beer cases
going on board the Conundrum, for Ned
down there. j tell you the gay old fraud is
round headed everytime and Just stuffs the
Grand Duke with all sorts of plans for turn
ing an honest penny. This venture, if well
handled will net Nosbig and the Grand Duke
a nice lot of shekels-that is, if the crew
don't breach the cargo-if they should, then
good morning." Says /, "are you sure these
cases contain beer?'' Sure" saws Bliff,
with whitening look, you ought to see the
effect the handling of those cases has pro-
duced on the officers and crew of the ship
already-why, one would suppose they had all
been taking several lunar observations
through their glasses and had already COM
menced using their sea-legs in advance! You
bet they contain beer, and lots of it too"
1 had long letter from Gawge, your finan-
cal agent IN London. Gawge is having a
big time there, at the public expense-slosh-
ing round with the Prince OF Whales, and
such like covies Gawge says it takes a pot
of money to do that sort of thing, you know,
and if it came out of his own pocket he
couldn't stand it; but the " Expenses of the
loan'' foots the bill, and under these cir
cumstances he will worry it through for
a while, if not longer. Bliff. says if your
Government expects to get much of that loan
here, they had better invite Gawge to come
home to his native land and attend to the
water-pipe biz. Gawge is being we'll re-
warded for that little "retrenchment joke "
he put into the Grand Dukes head nearly
three years ago, when your Independent"
boys swallowed the pill whole, and made big
speeches to the Grand Duke for his fore
thought, while the " dirt-eaters " were behind
the screen with their faces wreathed in
smiles-and afterward "whooped up" the
appropriation to the magnificent proper
tions of q poisoned dog, regardless of ex-
pense or anything else.
In knocking about town last week 1 met
my friend Tony, and he appeared to be some
what hnliu-sald Bliff. and l were taking I'M
warrantable liberties with him and his many
positions, and that in future he would cut US
off in the invitation line. He also stated
that he did not think it wise nor well to have
the truth told on all occasions-that APP
parently we both had been afflicted bad with
the hodOO fever, and told all we knew, and
more too. He said the Grand Duke was
getting tired of u.s. and that he had ordered
the sideboard into quarantine until we should
leave the beach. Says /, "Tony, who am
talking to? Is it the Governor, or the Lieut.
enant-General of the Army, or the Commits
sioner of Crown Lands, or the Private Secre-
tary, or one OF the magnates-which charac-
ter, anyway" Oh, you ought to have seen
him; he just got up on his hind legs and
howled-said he was talking as FooIscap,
and he would let US know it, too, before we
were much older. Said he would consult
Clarence, and see if they couldn't work up a
contempt case. There is money in contempt
cases, you know, if you work them right.
Tata, Toney.
Last Wednesday evening Bliff. and 1 fell
in with McBuster, who is chief engineer of
the Conundrum and he asked us to 90 down
with him to the dock yard,' and have
"little time" on the old "Kukaemanu
drogher." Well, on reaching the "dug-out,''
we were challenged by the sentry on guard.
who evidently had been interviewing the
sideboard, and imagined that he was the
Admiral i'll command, and peremptorily or
dered McBuster off the wharf, saying that
loafers were not allowed even to look at the
ship after shutdown, and that if We did not
"dust,' he would jump ashore and touch us
up with the point of the bayonet While
McBuster was parleying with the irate
"marine," Bl1H. and l fortified ourselves
quietly behind pile of Anheuser beer cases,
which were to go on board the Conundrum
as "small stores" and listened to the fun.
McBuster was brave, and just checked
the marine" for all he was worth. when
the latter got his kanaka blood up, and
jumping ashore went for McBuster bald
headed. "Oh," says Bliff, "what if he
should find us behind these cases of beer,
he'd make it hot for us-swear we were try
ing to carry off the " small stores,'' and such
nonsense, Just as if we belonged to that sort.
you know oh, yes" Pretty soon we heard
a volIey of Hapa-haols oaths and yell, and
then commenced the rattle of boots up the
wharf. Bliff. climbed up ON the beer boxes,
to see the race, and Immediately offered six
to four on McBuster, who was beating the
record on making fast time, with
wild and Infatuated g marine armed with
bayonet, at his heels. Oh, didn't McBuster
throw himself in that little shake for life