davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-05-07
The CapitolaN- Adrocate, in speaking

- - |
the town in which it is published,
says "new buildings are going up so
in our city that the prediction
of one OF u neighbors that every va
cant space in the corporation limits will
be occupied within the next two years,
bids fair to be realized. While there is
no Birmingham boom here, yet there is
a rapid and substantial growth IN
buildings and population that will make
Baton Rouge a city of from 10000 to
20, 600 inhabitants" Well do we re-
member when that city was one of the
Notwithstanding to population
livericst and gayest in the South. 1t
boasted Of some as fine talent as there
in the State, more pretty women
than could be found anywhere for its
size, and produced some of the finest
and fastest horses in the country. Its
citizens were kind and generous to a
fault, and never failed to make all who
then visited that hourisl,ing little city
feel themselves as if among old friends.
Since then many of those noble and
generous spirits have sought refuge and
homes in other and different lands, yet
their names and good deeds are indeli-
bly, stamped upon the minds of those
who are left OF that day. We hope
Baton Rouge will, in the near future,
fully realize all that is predicted for
its coming greatness and prosperity,
and may the lustre of its star eff hopeful
progress ever remain undimmea.
1t was old Ben Hardin who said: "If
you want to know, boys, where the
choicest apples grow i'll a great orchard,
go to the tree at the base Of which lie
most stones and sticks. Everybody
has been throwing at that tree. 1t is
worth throwing at" Even so with the
Picaynne, it is more constantly assail-
ed by the stone throwers Of the Louis
lana ring press than any other of oul
leading journals in the State. Wiler
any OF the ring press becomes exceed.
ingly furious, it %pronounces the Picn,
.yume as being quasi Republican; an6
perhaps because it happens to believe
and has the courage to say that Gen.
eral T. T. Nichols has made a good gov.
ernor, and has served the people o
Louisiana faithfully and we'll, and doe:
not wait for all the great leaders of tn,
party to speak, is censured of being dis
loyal to the Democratic (ring) party
I've a ssure the F1,ayane, and Gen
Nichols also, that what the ring pres
i'll Louisiana may say against either o
them has &c weight or effect whateve
with their friends andsupporters; Oh tn
contrary, they will stand firmer and un
flinchingiy to the last, in sustaining tn
principles they suppose to be just an'
right-feform.
DR.. McGlynn, the Catholic prizes
The Meridional. (Abbeville, La.) 1856-1906, 1887-05-07

f. +. FERAY.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
LITTLE LAUGHS.

A Convis Center, Mich, farmer says it Is
so warm out his way that the horns Of the
cattle had shrunk. allowing the brass knobs
to fall off.-Exchange.
An oculist's advertisement: "The artificial
eyes furnished by this house are noted for
the gentleness Of their expression. n."-Judse
Building in Boston is very much behind
this year In the middle Of the busiest day q
Boston bricklayer will throw aside his plumb
robert to discuss with his fellow craftsmen
the totality of the regressive synthesis.-Ex-
change.
One Of the most tickle husbands on record
is the one who had his first wife cremated.
affectionately placing her ashes in ali urn
One day, seeing his second wife approaching,
he rushed for the urn and threw the ashes Of
wife No. on the slippery stoop SO that wife
No 9 would not break her neck.-Epoch.
Yes" said hard hearted cynic, women
are certainly sympathetic creatures. They
sympathize with a man In his poverty and
distress, and are always doing their best to
keep him there, so they can do more sympa-
thizing "-Washington Critic.
1t is a sweet, revengeful thought that when
waters sit down to eat they have to be waited
on by some Of the other waiter. Washing-
ton Critic.
1t would seem natural for a carpenter to
walk with a numbering gait. - Merchant
Traveller
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
breeding Buffaloes for Market.

Buffalo meat, which was once a drug
On the market, and cheaper than beef by
more than half, is now, on account Of
its scarcity, esteemed luxury by a class
Of people who believe that anything that
is expensive and hard to get must be
good. Time was when a western game
dealer was glad to get 4 cents q pound
for buffalo beef. Now he could get %
cents pound. To meet the demand, we
learn that a party in Kansas, and another
in Dakota, have gone into the business of
breeding buffaloes for the market, and
expect to put some two-year old heifes
on sale next spring. 1t is strange how
people will long for the hard to get. For
instance, in ST. Louis no one thinks Of
eating wild pigeons, and there are scarcely
any put on sale, because New York and
Boston take all that can he shipped, even
should the amount SUN up to 5000 bar
rels In a single season.-New York Mar
ket Journal.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

The student Of language seems to neglect
the Office boys dialect. So long as this neg
lect continues we shall never know the de-
rivation Of the strange words aud phrases en-
ployed by the youth neglecting duties he Is
hirei TO perform. Thus the merchant to the
bow:
Tommy. my inkstand is almost empty.
Fill it as soon as you can"
Office Boy to Bookkeeper - Boss wants
smink rtnff
Merchsnt-Tcmmy, send this letter up in
the box TO Mr.. Scrivner, and see that he takes
il out
Office boy puts the missive in the box and
CLUES his thumb to the bell button.
Mr.. Scrivner with the voice Of . Ute
chieN-Well. what's the matter down th-rei
Office Boy tcalmly)-Plup box
The box is pulled up.-Boston Transcript.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

The sun had set and Il wss evening, when
they stood beneath the grape arbor. Ii Is q
somewhat remarkable fact that evenings and
sunsets and grape arbor meetings should oc-
cur with such unvarying siTultaneousness.
"Algernon, she whispered, and a piece OF
chewing gum tur ied the whisper into slbi-
liant slzzle. you are here on schedule time y
"You bet" he murmured in reply. but
hark, | hear footstep.'
She harked As requested, and suddenly
yrasping his wrist, she said in q terrified
whisper. at is father. FLY! fy!'
Gertrude. have hunion and l know
alas, too wcll--that were l to attempt to fly
wouli make fizzle Of it. must stand my
ground
The old man strobe into the grape arbor
straight TO where Algernon stood
-Ha." he said. SO it's You, young man,
is lti Well, how are you'll Glad to see you.
How's your folks!'
They're well" gaspei Algernon.
That's good. Well. III leave you; but il
YOU and Gertie take my advice you'll go
right up into the parlor. You're likely TO
catch Your death OF cold out here"
The young man fell to the ground motion
less He wrote funny sketches for the news
paper. Merchant Traveller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
AN INDIAN DUDE.

an extended camping trip, but they
seemed TO think that it would be perfectly
safe. as the child was only seven weeks old
ana could not have incurred the hostility of
the war department. The little one now
lies at the wigwam Of its afflicted parents
on Csvyo street, and certainly does not look
as though it could have stood out SO long
against the sheriff and his posse. Mrs Roll
on. .Silver-Moon has painful bullet wound in
the shoulder, but feels so grieved about the
loss OF Little Cholera Infantum that she does
not make much fuss over her injury. The
funeral Of the little one will take place this
evening from its late residence, and friends Of
the parents are cordially invited to come and
participate. Wailing will begin promptly at
sundown-New York World.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

nand gIittering disk, which. sparkling for a
moment as it passed through sunbeam,
buried itself in the obscurity of the rich Turk
ish carpet. With a wild shrek, heart
piercing cry, Guy BaauClerk threw himsef
upon the floor and growled like groveier
from Groveltown. In an Instant his wife,
the beautiful Lady Constance Bcauclsrk, was
at his side She whom even the presence Of
royalty itself could not bend now bowed in
loving solcitude over the pros,rate form Of
her husband
Speak to me, Guy" she cried. Guy,
have you lost your reasonf
"No," lie moaned family Il have lost my
collar button. - Boston Transcript
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

mans, grub dances and jack rabbit gorges as
usual
Mr.. and Mrs. Mexican Hairless Dog npon-
whoni-there- are-no-Fiies have been spending
the summer at their delightful hostile home
near White River. They have just returned
for the winter, beautifully bronzed by the
elements, and report one OF the most eNhil-
arating outbreaks they ever were to.
A select scalp dance and rum socable will
take place at the foot Of the gulch at the
middle Of the present moon. after which
there will he a presentation speech and reso-
lu,ions Of respect rendered TO the board of
outbreaks and the sub committee on hostility.
The following will he the menu: ReseVva-
ton soup, strengthened with rain water:
condemned sardines, Goldfish balls. fish plates,
railroad frogs legs. sage hen a la Colorow,
jerkei jack rabbits, roasting ears la mas
sacre, hot house CLANS, rattlesnakes' tongues
. Ia fire water, prickly pears, fruit of the
loom, dried apples and whisky. Dancing
will he kept mp till a late hour
The approaching nuptials Of fly-by Night.
q partial widower Of Snippeta, daughter OF
Wip.- -Up-the Ground with His Enemies. will
be the occasion Of quite tout ensemble and
blowout. He will marry the surviving mem
hers of the family Of Wampo- the " ailer-thst-
Wakes L p-in- the Night He will. on this oc-
cssion. lead to the altar Mrs. Wampo-'he-
Waller. etc, her two daughters and the hired
girl. The wedding will take place at the res
iiencs Of the bride. Invitations are already
out, and parties who have Yet not received
any, but who would like to be present and
swap tin napkin ring for a square meal.
will BE- invited if they will leave their ad-
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

"Hello, it's II o'clock" remarked travel
ing man as he set down the glass; guess I'll
go home"
What's the matter' Afraid of your
wifer
You bet am"
"What does she do when you're out late,
call her mother."
Nav. Her mother don't live at our
house"
Does she mount guard with a rolling pinF
NO, she don't"
What does she do thenr'
We'll, gentlemen, she just kicks a little
and then she up and cries. Good night; I'm
in hurry. .r-Merchant Traveller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17


Like q katydd singing a mandolin's ring
ing jus; two doors above with its "zum- zum-
1um:r and out in the street half dozen boys
beat on the head of a cask for big lass drum
In the room just below, at the big piano, q
maiden is playing the tra-la-la-loo; and the
chiliren upstairs, in trios and pairs. are prac-
ticing songs that are noisy and new. And
over II ALL through kitchen and hall. too bass
fer a shrlek and too shrill for a s4uall. like q
calliope yowling. our Bridget is bowling the
one line she's mastered of "Lanigan's Ball" !"
"Oh. Pnebus ApolloI they warble and holloa,
they shrek up TO lizard and growl down to
A: they start in the morning without any
warning and their second wind comes at the
close of the day. Why, the very deaf mute
makes noise with a flute, and blind man
seesaws on a loud violin; and people born
dumb still can tinkle and stram on things
that are rattling and noisy as sin. So their
music and songs 60 il hammer and tongs, old
women and maidens and Old men and boys;
ard I'm mad with delight from morning to
night was born in a mill and am fond Of a
poise-Brcoklyn Eagle.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

"You usually shave yourself, do you notf'
asked the ieaisman, raising his face and
breathing high above the doomed ones head.
The unhappy man, bewiiderei by new
order of things which passed finite compre-
henSion, confessed his guilt.
Il thought So" said the lnquisitor, ''be-
cause your face is SO smooth, SO free from
cuts scratches, and your mustache Is So
evenly trimmed. A man always knows bet
ter himself than any one else the style OF
beard most becoming to him. Your hair has
been trimmed most tastefuly." he added,
''but, Of course" with a little laugh-"you
did not do that yourselff"
line Martyr moaned feebly, and confessed
that his hair was last cut in a little country
barher shop down in Buej Jeans county.
Yes, said the ENecutioner. ''some OF the
best artists III our business are in the country
shops A man learns his trade thoroughly In
the city, and then sensibly goes into business
where az custom is cash. rents low, expenses
light: he can do just As fine work and make
more money. l think Of going into the
country myself in few years. Your scalp
l. very clean and healthy, sir
The Sufferer. recovering himself by a vio'
lent effort. besought the Headsman Ia givs
him a sea foam shampoo and put a little tonic
on his hair.
Your head really does not need shampoo
ing" said the barber. for it was indeed he.
''and the tonic do not keep These SO called
tonics and hair reviewers are the worst thing
in the world for the hair. Clear water Is
better dressing than patent reviewers, AMI
YOU can take better care OF your scalp your
self than any barber can do for you, II
you--
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

A friend told me that he once overheard
the following dialogue between two members
Of the old state militia:
Officer thalf jokingly,-1 guess I'll have to
report You for disrespect to your superior
Prirate-tsturdilyl- and be hanged
When we get home I'll discharge you
For the first and second speaker bore to
each other in civil life the relation Of EN-
ploye and employer.-North American Re
yiew
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
What Truthful Bill Died or.

An FL Paso. Tex. man being in San Az
tonic, was asked by a gentleman how Bill
Hart was coming on in FL Paso
He went by the name Of Truthful Bill.
didn't hei"
Yes"
swell. he Is not coming on at all. He was
buried the day before left Ell Paso'
"What caused his deathf'
His death was caused by imprudence"
.Perhaps Truthful Bill drank too much"
NO"
"Was he imprudent in changing his
elothest7
mo. it wasn't that. He was imprudent in
telling the truth. He got up in a saloon
patronized by the elite Of the town, and said
that the whole crowd present were liars and
horse thieves. The verdict Of the coroner's
jury was that he died Of lead poisoning."-
Texas Siftings.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

Omaha Medical S,udent-Shotgun dosel
What on earth is that
Old Doctor-In the old days when science
had made little progress what Was called the
shotgun doso was very popular. Some young
doctors give it yet
But what is itf"
A mixture of all sorts of remedies, 50 if one
won't catch hold the other may"
Il see. Something like a political plat
forTr-Omaha World
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

Editor in Chief of New York Daily to Man.
aging Editor-Sir, consider yourself dis
charged for neglecting the most vital inter-
esfs Of this paper.
Managing Editor-Why, what's the mat
teri
Editor in Chief-You have neglected TO in
sert the usual notice that Jake Sharp passed
. sleepless night, and that omission has ruined
our status as a great metropolitan daily
Texas Siftinrs
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

"Ani is this to be the endi" said the deeply
.namored travelling man to the beautiful
young lady who kept the books for one of his
regular customers in the little inland town.
1T is, Mr.. McThompson," she replied: Il
can never he anything to you but friend
"Ihen," said the drummer. with tremulous
voice and a face Of ashy paleness, lit only re-
mains for ME to say farewell. shall be here
again." he said, consulting his memorandum
book with rapidly recovering self possession,
in thirty days with full line Of samples in
millinery and dress goods. Save me your
orders, please. Good afternoon. Chicago
Trihuue
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

Il ,eIi the Ia,e as 1 heard It told: end also
III tell You another one, widely current in
London, that a certain duchess invited one OF
the COWBOYS of the American exhibition to
dine and he arrived at the appointed time
with his wife and baby. He said there WAS
no one to leave the baby with, SO he had to
bring him. The baby was confidei TO the
ducal nursery and the dinner was served.
Its the fashion to tell this story, so you may
as well believe it-Mra Moultoa IN Boston
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

Charley, do you know that you're gener-
ally considered the greatest liar on the ruadr'
said one travelling man to another
We'll, l don't want to seem boastful, but l
think I am"
'Bill jenkins says you're the greatest liar
that ever lived"
''Bill is wrong. I have one great historic
rival l never vet had the gall to say I
couldn't tell a lie. ie."-Merchant Traveller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
A big Agricultural Fair.

Al understand You are going TO have big
agricultural fair up your way"
Yes: or rather We did intend having one,
but we've been disappointed"
Disappointed In what wayi"
"Why, you see we got the race course nll
laid out, and the baseball field fixed up nice
and handy, and everything was getting on
splendidly, when We found that we had no
room for go as you please pedestrian races "
You don't say so,"
"ies; and thct isn't the worst Of it. There's
lot of old fossils who want to exhibit cattle,
vegetables and all that sor. o stuff. Boston
Transcript.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

"Yes, dear children" said the School
teacher, Gen. Washington died a compare
lively poor man, although he might have
amassed great wealth if lie had been differ
ent sort of person. Tommy Waffies may tell
us why Gen. Washington died comparatively
poor"
because he couldn't tell lies" responded
Tommy. who has bright business career
before him-New York Sun
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17


sort oh a town. sah- observed the visitor as
he put down his valiSe and umbrella.
Only average, my friend" returned the
officer. Somebody been swin1ling youT
Il read constable in de papers bout dem
yeh bunko men robbin' an stealin' fruIn
country folks what Gums in fo' to buy truck
in de town." was the non -commlttal state
ment that was used as reply. The lieuten-
ant briSi!-d up, seeing "A case in view, and i'll
qulred: How much did you lose!"
"Befo' lef home up in Popcornville de ole
'ooman says: Obadiah, yo' keep yo' eye
skinned fur dem huukoers an fo' God il you
low dem to skin yo' I'll smock yo' brack
mout full of blistahs,'" continued the colored
gentleman he wiped the band Of his hat.
YES. why didn't you follow her instruc
tions'' observed the lieutenant, as he assisted
bum out and up the steps.
Comm down on de train l runs across er
white gemmen dat looks like he am de boss
ob de railroad"
Wore diamonds, l SUPPOSE"
"Bigges' eber seed, sah,'
"All right, 60 ahead and tell US how you
were skinned"
He done sat erlongside OBJ me an sorter
marked dat de wedder wah wahn."
"Old STYLE" said the lieutenant.
after we'd done cha.ted bout de craps an
de lection he done said: I learned mighty
cuyus game out to de fair groun's tother
day
Chestnut" murmurad the officer.
''>ays lie, 'Ef yo' hain't got no objeckshun
III show yo how the snap wucks''
And you!
Says Go head wild yo' game Den he
hauls out three kyards-de jack o spades. de
ace of hawts en- de queen o clubs. Den he
fling EN- 'roun keerless like and say:
Pick out de jack An / picks hit up.
Den he saws, Il ret yo' kant do hit no mo'-
And you bet himf answered the officer
"Cose l did, an fudderrno' put hup de
stuff, five col dollahs,' was the response.
And you lost itr
"No. sab. l picked out de jack de fust
time an grabbed de stuff. Mr.. Sly Kyard
man he want to bet agin but up an busted
his shiny plug hat, an de conductor 6ahed
him out de do at de naixt station.
Well" gasped the dumfounded tsuren-
ant. ''if you weren't robbed why did you
come herp.'
in de fust place jes' want yo TO keep yo'
eve open TO n sleek man wild big dimuns, an
seckintls. tell dem newspaper writahs to state
dat Obadiah Oliver james jackson, u distin-
guishei cullud citizen of Popcornvilie, an
wisitin in de city 10 de purpose OF maxim
social calls. an dat he hab made quite a hit
i'll de bunko business. Jes' tell 'em I'm de
cullud Napoleon Of finance"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

Little 5-year-oid Edna is boarding with her
mother IN a country home where -Old Proba-
bilties" is more respected than in her own
home, and upon the arrival of tne mail the
farmer host walks into the house and asks
daily of Ednas mother: that is the
weather going I" bef' The appointed
column is turned to and the probabilities
read. Little Edna looked up in strange be-
wilderment fer two or three mornings and
then said: Mamma. does God make the
paperF"-Jour al of Education
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

One Of the newest occupations upon
which women can enter is that of the
"complexionist. Such a person makes a
study OF the skin, and for stipend en-
deavors to improve customers complex
ions Here is prescription that one Of
them gave client, promising that it would
clear the skin in short time: A tablespoon
full Of sulphur taken every morning for a
week. then omitted for three mornings.
and taken again. A mixture of powdered
birthstone or diluted glycer!ne should be
rubbed on the face at night and washed
off in the morning with soap and water
in which there is little ammonia.
caGo Times.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

At a somewhat mixed ball given at a sea
side resort a gentleman who was dentist
asked a lady to dance without the honor Of a
previous introduction He said in explsna-
tion Of the oversight:
MY dear miss, you will not regard me in
the light Of stranger when l assure you
that had the pleasure only few months
ago Of pulling two and filling three teeth for
your father. Texas Siftings.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17
a Growing Child.

Conductor-Madsm, did | understand you
% say this girl Is not yet II years oldi
Mother-She will be Il next spring.
And You want to s, all the way to New
York in this carr
Yes
Then you should not so on this train"
why notr'
because this is a slow train, and if that
girl keeps on growing as she has been, by the
time we get to New York she will be so large
that she will not he able To get through the
car door. The company can't afford TO take
the car to pieces on = half fare ticket
Texas SiftinSs
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-09-17

On the hotel piazza-"What do you think
of Mrs. Jonesf"
81 don't know r.
"Oh. guess she's q nice person enough
Put then she il 20 egotistical"
.Ncs"
"Ies: was asking her something or other
about the Brookses. and she said that she
never troubled herself about anybody's bust
ness but her own Don't You cali that ego
ti>ticalf'
Really, you shouldn't be 50 severe. 1t
may be only narrow mindednesa Boston
TRANSCRIPT.