The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1887-12-01

Now uruig new methods in this here
deesfrirt, " said he. his chin resting Oh his
shirt 'front.'. Thar is plenty o ole fog
Sles IL re as don't like it nuther but says,
says we must keep abreas' O the times
Now hey wants a chile driv' through Web
ster with cowhide. 4 never would a
learned A. says Squire Jines, 4 never
would a-learned A eff they hadn't a-beat
me like dorg. an them chillen aint no
| smarter n their daddies was But | don t
take up Webster. | takes a picter-boo
an | shows em a pig, an then when hey
sees a pig they knows it's a pig. This here
deestrict is fur benin but my school is
abreas' O the times
This man would seem lion in his
nelghborhood, but clowns rs his people
are they have already discovered under
the skin an exceedingly long cared ass.
But the sham that rifles me most is that
! old invalid with chronic something or
other matter with his gizzard. They call
him Colonel" because he is fat | sup
pose. He pretends that he can't work
| that he can hardly walk He can only sit
IN the sun, read the newspapers, smoke
and grunt if an acquaintance approaches.
mighty poly, mighty poly. The misry
is in my side so bad day l can sceercely
set up. Ny liver is all swelled up agin.
and my kidney has swunk, aud my lungs
is hitched between 'em, and when | try to
walk the mis'ry hits up and knocks all the
breath outen me- Oh lord! Oh iord,''
His wife, good SOUL slaves for him, but
now and then if attention slacks he goes
in, falls upon the bed and rolls and groans
till the good saint is nigh to death with
fright Peter, go for the doctor. Run
Polly for the campher. You, Betsy, get a
hot brick And the poor loving creature
is off for the flask that sister Matildy sent
down since the last attack-to find that
its contents had strangely evaporated then
back to the bedside and round the house
and into the pantry, and finally sets about
cooking something nice vent to her
sympathy. By this time the doctor is
come.
MY sakes alive. You down again Col
one! What's the matter now2 Yes, l
knew 1t, | knew it. you've been walking
again. What did | tell YOU A moment
of Intense silence, broken only by the
9runts of the invalid ''PuIse very high,
temperature bad and that tongue is terri
ble sir, terrible, You have a bad case of
pseudo-intermittant- -locomotoI oI-ataxia
Here Peter. Go for pint of whiokey
quick. Miss Betsey. \ pitcher of hot wa
teri and a little sugar, and a-er- nutmeg.'
''Oh Doctor, Doctor This terrible mis-
L
minufe,'
You are il a bad way sir, bad way
Let me turn you little, just so. That
brings the tuberOsitieS of your Schium
up. You are in a bad way, Colonel a bad
way.
Right here, Peter, my boy, Now the
hot water there This will stimulate the
circulation. Drink it right down, Colonel
Your disease is peculiar; it took me long
time to get the hang of it. You see your
imbibulous channels demand more spiritus
fumenti than your receptaculum pecunlae
affords a very dangerous complication
Colonel. unless thoroughly understood,
you know.
By this time the sympathizing saint had
waiter of delicacies the bed before
him, and while she pours cup of tea and
buffers the toast, Retsey props the pillows
behind his back and Polly wraps the ban-
kets about his feet
His system is much rela xed, madam |
should like you to add TO that beefsteak,
very tender madam. cut thick and broiled
just to a turn. will leave prescription.
Absent mindedly he wrote, One sharp
stick each hour till-sOh sho said he. One
hot punch each hour till patient is easy.
Them liquors an yltualts an fixins is
all the old man wanted anyway" remark
ed youth presently, as he licked an empty
Jelly glass in the Kitchen
Peter William Purify Aint YOU asham-
ed, and your poor father almost in his
grave.'
''Wel anyhow when you'ns run out he
stop a-gruntin' an went to chucklin becase
| was a-hind the do a-er-studin'"
Now ma. Pete's been into that brandy
againl Just know it. Git outen here
with yo' muddy boots anyway, an Just
swept, an I'd like to know what boys were
made for anyhow
dat chile aint no fool" somebody solil-
oquized in the kitchen, when they had
gone. "Pitty dey aint some yo' ole time
oberseers round wild cowhide."
1t may be laid down for an axiom that
true character WILL OUT, and the man or
woman who tries to seem tall by climbing
on tom walkers of family, wit, virtue or
anything else will be laughed at by those
who stand on the ground, however well
they may array the breeches or petticoat
about the make believe legs. Build high
if you can, but build from the ground up.
a donkey is very useful animal when
about his business. 1t is only when he
wraps himself in a lions skin or tries to
sing that he grows ridiculous.
Perhaps some who read these columns
may remember youth once known among
his fellows as ''Buz." 1t so happened one
night in the ola East Building that party
OF students were ctlebrating-it matters
not what. And now already the moon
was in the middle heavens when the soul
of one expanded. He had passed the rich
stage, he had grown eloquent, he had de-
monstrated Gauss formula" and walked
| a line to show that he was sober. But still
his being swelled and grew vaster till he
| fancied he was exploring the blue emperi-
um upon the wings of a nameless bird
And so he informed his comrades. These
sceptics laughed at him. He grew wrath
| full. Did they want proof, he would show
| them. And meandering to third story
window made ready to soar away when
the soberest pulled him back. But he
would show them, their laughter should
be silenced. The fools. Couldn't they see
that he was buzzard. And clambering
with much difficulty upon table he spread
his wings and flew heavily and disastrously
to the floor.
There was another in those haicyon days
whose voice has since startled the one
| legged janitOr at the capitol. This name
less one in the wee hours of 80 fancied
himself a fiery meteor and plunged head
foremost in brilliant meteoric career down
three flights of steps in the old South
Building. He was very pale when | saw
him week afterwards, and spoke of join