The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1887-12-22
The Directors Warming.

"Iou know my dartcr Nancy Is ar
uncommon smart gal she takes to larnin'
as natural as a goslin' takes to water, and
she can get her lessons faster than can
chaw terbacker. I've been sendin' her
to the new teacher we hired last term,
and she was larnin' some new.fanglcd
notions that's never been taught in those
parts afore. One night she was tellin'
me that the teacher had been explainin'
to her that the sun neither rose nor set.
Then I thought it was time for me to 60
down to the school house sand frd out
about it.
So the next riornir' went down afore
school took up, and found the teacher
standing in the door. Says I, 'How.dc-
ye do? lie was very polite and invited
me into the school house. So I went in;
but when I thought about what he had
been teachin' it riled me up. So, says I,
'Mr. NJ. Quil'ister, we've employed you
to larn our young'uns, haiut we?' He
said that he would consent to that propo.
sition. WELL" says I, whats all this
rigmarole about 'stronomy and stuff
about the sun not risin' nor settin';
about the yearth turnin' upside down
every day.. and sich like. .infdel stuff
you're putin in the heads of your schol-
ars?' Then says he, Come to the black
board, and I'll draw. you a: diaphragm of
the solar cistern, SO you can readily
understand it, So be drawcd big,
round mark and put some dots inside of
it, and a great big white spot in the mid.
die of 'em.
Now, says be, tie sun is ninety-fve
millions of miles from the yearth, and
- Stop says I, 'how do you know
that? Who's been thar to measure it?
What surveyor ever drug his. chain over
that route, I'd like to know? 'Tain't SO;
and it's whoppin' big humbug, saysI
Says he, It's universally believed by
eddycated people and scienti6cers have
proved it, Says I, They don't know
nuthin' about it; not a bit more nor I
do, and they've been no cluster 10 the
sun than LAcC.. agin mater, sense
and scripter to say that the san don't
rise and set, for thar's tex which meybe-,
you've seed if you ever read the Bible,
which 1 can't scarcely believe you ever
did, that says, from the risin' of the sun
to the goin' down thereof" And see
here, young man, if you can't teach the
children something better than sich talk
and infdel doctrine, you might as well
look out for another settlement where
they hain't got no churches nor never
read the Bible He said he would not
quarrel with me, as different men neld
different views, and he wanted to do what
was right if he knew it.
He asked me to stay awhile and hear
the children recite, go I took cheer, and
sot down and I.heerd and seed great
deal that didn't like, by no manner of
means. 1 found that he was tryin' to
larn Nancy things entirely out the line
of eddycation; and, as I think, highly
improper. Fust, 1 heerd one class say
their lesson. They was a.spellin', and
thought, spelled quite exceeding. Then
come Nancy's turn to say her lesson.
She said it very sp1y, but I was shockt,
end determined that she should leave
that school. have heerd that grammar
was an uncommon fine study, but I don't
want no more grammar around my
house. The lesson that Nancy said was
nuthin' but the foolishest kind of talk,
the ridicest luv talk you ever seed. She
got up and the fust word that she said
was, L luvp I look right hard at her
for doin' so improper, but she went right
on and said 'Thou lowest, he loves~
love, love and nothin' but love. She
said one time, Il did love- Says I, who
did you love?' Then the scholars
laughed, but l wasn't to be put off, and I
says, 'Who did you love, Nancy? I want
to know; who did you love?' The school.
master, Mr.. McQuillister. mterfercd and
said he would explain when Nancy fin:
ished her lesson.
This sorter paciGed me, and Nancy 1
went on with her awful love talk. 1t got
wuss and wuss every minute. Bimeby
she said, Il might, could, would orshould
love- stopped aud said reckoned I'd ,
see about that and told her to walk out
of that house. The schoolmaster tried to |
interfere, but 1 wouldn't let him say q
word. He said I was fool, and I
knockt him down and made him hoIler
in short order. I talked the straight
thing to him /; I told him I'd show him
how he'd larn my darter grammar.
I got the nabers together and we sent
Mr.. McQuillister off in a hurry, and T +
recon thar'l be no more grammer teachin'
in these parts soon. If you know any
rather oldish man in your region that
don't teach grammar we would be glad
ifyou'd send him up. But in the future
we'll be keerful how we employ men!
Young schoolmasters won't do, especially
them that teaches grammar. It's a bad
thing for morils."
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