Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-04-16
A sARDINE,s STORY.
A Commercial Fraud Exposed in an
Annsinr, Way.

A Commercial Fraud Exposed in an
Amusing Way.
l was in first-class restaurant dining
with friend, and, feeling in generous
mood, called for a box of sardines.
Mind, now" l said to the waiter, 81
want the genuine article-none of the down
East imitation"
Very WELL"
He disappeared and soon returned, bring
ing what seemed to be the real thing called
for, picked up our check, replaced it with
one calling for fifty cents more, smiled and
retired.
"Ah" said, tipping back the lid, which
had been skillfully opened by the waiter
here is food fit for king. Look" l
added, turning the box about so that my
companion could read the legend neatly
inscribed on the gilt band encircling the
sardine box-a Phuille d'olive-" no i'm
itation about that, Ell? Try one"
My friend thrust his glittering fork into
one of the tempting morsels, when, to the
astonishment of us both, it began to work
its gills and wiggle its fins and tail Its
eyes snapped vicionsly. My friend was
abopt to drop his fork in amazement, be-
lieving the fish to be bewitched, when, to
our wonder, it suddenly spoke out in low
but ineligible voice:
uill III sal
What are your" asked, excitedly.
"Only herring, harmless little her
ring" it replied, innocently. Il never
saw France; don't even understand the
language of the label on the box that re-
Gently contained me; l don't even know
what an olive is, but if you want any i'll
formation about cotton seed you can con-
slider me an authority"
Ely this time my friend had somewhat
recovered his self-possession, and laying
the talking fish tenderly upon the plate,
waved his hand and said, in an interesting
way, go on; you seem to be quite en-
tertaining.".
Entertaining? Oh, no." replied the
little herring, with diffident look mot
at all !; l never had college education; if
had l might not have been boxed up here
with my unfortunate friends, but might
have been editing a grocery journal, ex-
posing canned goods frauds and other
abuses. No, am only little herring-a
very little fish from the coast of Maine"
From Maine?"
Yes, Maine. / would not have to get
naturalized even to vote but then, you see,
| there aren't many people who know the
difference. There's many nobby young
fellow in this country who cuts off his
horses tail, drives and talks English, who
would pass for a genuine cockney in Zulu
land. Yes, | am q down-East Yankee
from Eastport."
g Eastport ?" l calculated
Yes, close to Canada, where a good
many so-called sardines would like to be
in certain emergencies. wish was back
there to-day frisking in my native element;
but am doomed, it seems, to not only be
devoured by our good friend here, but to
tickle his palate as l 20 down with genu-
inc sardine flavor. No, am no sardine:
am only herring, harmless little her
ring from Name"
We were fast growing interested.
You see," continued our fishy little
| friend, some smart fellows down East
found out by experiments how they would
| make me taste so much like the real
| French article that no American could
tell the difference, so they went into the
business on large scale. The cotton
fields of the South furnished the seed
| this makes the oil in which we are boiled,
| spiced and made to taste so delicious. Take
| nip at me! There, now, you would not
dream you had the taste of cotton in your
mouth, would you? But it's there all the
same? No Phuille d'olive-only cotton
seed oil and harmless little herring.
Money in us? Yes, l should think So
Let me see. We cost cents box-a whole
box of us, just think! The packer sells u;
| at a profit of from 5 to cents, the retailer
sells US at about 30 cents, and by the time
we get to you on the restaurant table we
are worth so cents. Not bad for poor
little Yankee herring, is it? And the a
Fhuille de cotton in which we are immersed
is none the best, either. "-Grocers' Criterion