Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-08-13
Saturday Smiles.

A long article is going the rounds of the papers
beaded; "Wna. browns swimmers9" II the pro
oeer.-BWiington Free Press.
Three million pounds OF feathers are used every
year Ia America for bedding purposes At least
twenty pounds per annum are used In sleeping
Car plilows.--Pitts6urg Chronicle Telegram ID.
"Wiliie WALTERS" said the teacher, (which Is
the shortest day in the year?"
"TWenty-fust OF December" replied Willie who
was correct as far as the writer knows
And Tommy Tun may tell US which is the
longest day." said the teacher indulgently.
sunday" shouted Tommy.-Lue
Senator Teller Is busy telling that he did not buy
his seat In the Senate. That ends him Tor reelec.
ton. Colorado has no love for Sktnflint-Snn
Francisco Alta.
A sharp old lady called at the shop one day with
same She inquired: ''What shall l pay?" HE re-
piled: Three and slxpence." NOW doctor."said
the lady. do oe liberal: abaIe the odd, and let me
pay the even. II Will, with pleasure - he replied
Then, as three IS odd and six is even" said the
lady, "here Is a stxpence, and that settles II. .
THAT is too bad groaned the doctor, sbut have
this 10 console me, / nave made fOurpence half.
penny out OF you as 1t iS.-WOrcester Spu
There Is evidently great deal to be learned
about women" says Philadelphia editor There
Is, indeed, and the best way TO learn it is TO ask
some other woman about it.-SOmerriile Joun6L
When an eastern man arrives in Los Angeles and
deposits his wealth in one OF the local banks the
cally hunts up real estate specuator with the in
formation: '"There'S new sucker In town Got
$4,000 Go Tor himn
An exchange tells OF girl who Is too Door to
own more Than one chair, so that when her lover
comes he has 70 bring chair with him. This
item must come from another planet. IL doesn't
smack OF human nature-Burtington Free Press
A clergyman, calling on Washington street
family, was ushered into the parlOr where Miss
Betty was seated at the pianofOrte lie asked the
young lady, member OF his Bible Class, to "play
one OF her favOrltes." "Im not playing favOrites
any more" she said. "III take the feld against
them every time. "-.Sdrotogian
When man thinks he has a great head he
allows his hair TO grow long; when a woman
thinks she has u mission to perform in lie She
cuts her hair Of Short.-lNorris Chronicle
just previous to giving out the hymn the
minister said; THE storm outside is raging SC
violently that will ask the sexton to be KIND
enough to close the doors and windows 1t Will
give US all q greater sense or security The con.
gregation viii now sing. 4 would not live Away.
ask not 10 stay. "-NeU York Sun,
as your pa going to take you to the picnic
Sade?" '1-N
''No, pas sick"
"W hats the matter with him?n
watering" ~ ~ Aol
''Thcn he must have hay fever"
mo; pa works for wages: he doesn't oet q
salary; he can't AFFORD to have hay fever, 50 hes
only sick" ~ -o
Gen. stiles is less noted for what he saws than 10,
what he Tails TO say. Yesterday morning he too
witness who had testified TO the good reputa alton
or "DoOdler," and asked
"Are you lightning-r rod MANI"
Witness-"YeS, SIR
Gen. Stiles-"That's all."-Cticogo Neus.
Mrs Bagley-"I found an eel in the milk pitcher
AFTER you left yesterday morning."
Mllknan-"And cells Is cents pound, We'll II
WAS my mistake, and saant take cent for It,
Philadelphia Gail.
An agricultural writer says: "women have
handled chickens and bees with profit" This NAV
be good way OF handling chickens. but bees
should be handled with gloves.-NelU Uuuen Ne,cs
There are several ways OF making bustle-o1
newspaper, or wire, or other material. But the
largest sized and most complete hustle Is made by
the small boy who lets live rat loose In a sewiny
bee.-1e1as Siftiags.
A philosopher says, every man is born to his
work" But he does not always do 1t. The mar
VINO was born TO sell milk sometimes mixes great
Zeal or water with it.-B0stOa Courier
omaha amateur-"YOu said could take instan
taneouS pictures with this amera. It's fraud
Dealer-"No, said 1t would take groups anC
siowly-moying objects. did not warrant tt e
take race horse or . cannon ball"
Wen, tried 1t on messenger boy and failed
impossible"
81 failed, and that's all there Is about It,"
very strange. Did the boy have telegram IL
his hand?"
NO; he was going to his dinner"
'Oh!-Onldltd World