davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14

Phe PcoI'se Not Wanted on street Cars
Men who s~coke bad cigars on the
front platte
Men who cross their legs when the
cars are crowded.
Men who chew and expoctorate in
the cars.
PeddIers who fill tho cars with their
wares and smell badly.
Men who whistle.
The stareful dude.
The awful masher.
Men who talk 50 loudly that no one
else can hopo to he heard by his
ncighbor.
Men who sit sidewlse when people
are looking for seats.
Men who crowd the platform so that
people are squeezed nearly to death in
getting on or OFF the cars.
Men who pick their teeth in public.
Men who clean their flnger-naiIs In
public.
Juveniles who Insist on skylarking.
Boys who eat peanuts.
The small boy who, on muddy days,
Insists on kneeling on the seats
Squallng babies.
Men who have been indulging In too
much Pleasant Valley mixtures.
Men who hum all the way
Men who want TO know whore the
car is going to and when they get
Women who firs with the wrong
fellow.
Tho girl who hangs on to him all
the way.
The bundle woman.
The lady who has Just been doing
a little shopping and bought out the
store.
Gigging girls.
The umbrella fend who ALWAYS pol,es
the driver in the back OF the con-
ductor in tha stomach.
The stout lady who, when the car
lurches, subsidies in ones lap.
The shrill-voiced female.
The mother OF six who brings the
whole six along.
The lady who will mistake the bell
rope for tho strap.
The woman who at every street cor
ner asks where she Is to get out.
The gum-eating girl
The women who, after stopping the
car, only take five minutes to kiss
and say gOod-by.
The old young girl.
The young old girl
The musical enthusiast
The stage-struck girl.
The girl who captures the conduct
ors attention so that he has no eyes
or ears left for his business.
The loud girl.
The women who paint.
The stalwaTt party who challenges
you for your seat.
The girl who looks at you too hard
The girl who won't look at you at
all.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
A skIifuI Young Canvasssr.

A good story Is told of little girl,
whose mother is a member of Bosworth
Relief Corps, which goes to show that
even at her tender age she is smart
enough to run fair.
The little miss is only nine years
old. She is very pretty and lady
When the Relief Corps decided to
hold fair the ladies, as is customary
asked the friends to contribute articles
to their various tables.
Now, our little miss thought she
would do business on her own hook.
So she called on many ladies she knew
interested them in the fair, and when
it was time to open the fair this little
miss had secured so much and OF such
variety that cart had to be sent to
collect the contributions.
This little miss was very attentive
during the fair. One evening Mayor
Deering came into the hall. The youug
lady waltzcd up to him and said-her
bright face and sparkling eyes attract
ing the attention OF listeners
- Mayor Dcering, 1 am collecting
some money for the fair; won't you
contributor"
The Mayor put his hand in his pocket.
took out some money, and, without
looking at it. handed it 10 the little
miss. She thanked him aud went OF.
but In n few moments was back again
and said
Mayor DeerIng, I forgot to tell YOU
that We proposed to print the names
OF those contributing the money ! am
collecting, and when you gave me
some money you didn't stop to look
at it, and I thought you ought to
know that you gave me seven cents.
because l didn't believe you would want
it printed that the Mayor of Portland
gave seven cents to the fuir"
A broad smile Oyerspread the Mayors
face, and, drawing his pOckct-bOOk he
handed the little miss a scrip 50 bill.
Now says our little miss, 90 1 hear
Governor Robie Is here, Mr. Mayor,
and | would like ever so much to be
introduced Won't you introduce me?"
Certainly replied his honor, always
gallant, g como with me"
80 the couple walked up to where the
Governor was, and the Mayor address
ing him, said:
=" Governor, here is little girl who is
very anxious to know the chief magis-
trate OF tho State.
The Governor turned, shook hands
with our little miss, asked her her
name, patted her head and asked her
what ho could do for her.
Why, Governor Robie," she replied,
" l am collecting some money for the
fair. Won't you contributed"
" OF course / will, replied tho Gov
ernor: what shall | give you?"
." Well. YOU see, :" said our little miss,
" Mayor Deering has given me s., and
OF course the Governor of State
would wish TO give more than the
mayor of city"
The Governor was quick to see the
joke, and laughingly drew mis- wallet
and our little miss a bill to add to the
other contributions for the relief fund.
i Portland Me- Press.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
The Mad Dog Scarc-

The old recipe OF "a hair OF the
dog that bit you" was almost literally
realized In a prescription for the cure
OF hydrophobia mu,h in vogue with the
30 Pa~tcur7 Of the fifteenth century.
Take mastin pup OF y month Did.
aud stun the sane with cloves, cir
namou. and divers other spiees and
thereafter boil the carcass entire. the
which. taken warm from the pot and
laid unto the part thst hath ben tit
ten, viii without doubt do much good"
which. somehow OF other 30 diL not.
more primitive bat more SUCCESS
ful method WIS employed within The
memory Of living men in = remote
part of ireland, the patient being the
eldest son OF the family, q fire lad
OF Is.
His recovery appearing hopeless from
the strong symptoms Of EydrHp- q
which hc exhibited. the doctors Gge..sd
only alternative to the barluryls plan
Of sIuOtEeTing under q feather bed
which WIS then common.
A vein was openo1. and he VS.
locked into sn clubhouse and left 10
die. But toward evening the uI5ikfnaid
OF the household, passing near Ils srot
with her pail, was amazed 10 L-ar lhs
sufferers voice family asking for some
thing to drink"
Ovcripyoi at this unmistakallo sign
OF recovery, she lost no timo in sum
mOuIug assistance. and the Young
mans life was sEved, tho physicians
aScribiRg his extraordinary escape to
the carrying of OF She poison by ths
coPiOus how OF blood -.
---=---s-=---e
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
EBENSBURG, A. FRIDAY.

''Yes-for your sake, my dear. And
shall give him rich wife too; for you,
Ethel shall be my heiress."
No, mol 1 beg you will not do so. I
have no claim, no right to your wealth.
have not heard from your nephew for
many weeks, and he may have forgotten
me-have ceased to care for me, and"
"In that case he would certainly not
inherit my money" cried Mr.. Turnbull
with flashing eyes.
Ethel lnughed roguishly.
He might say, with some truth, sir,
that you were hard to please" she said.
g" However, have really no doubt of his
faithfulness, but his delay in writing
makes me anxious for his well-being."
Ethel's anxiety was soon set at rest.
Her next visit to the post-office was re-
warded by a letter from her betrothed.
He was coming for her-was even now
on his way; not yet wealthy, but with
bright prospects, and a certainty suffi-
eient for them to marry upon, and live
In comfort in his distant home.
With winged footsteps she flew TO Mr..
Turnbull and told him all.
But we shall not let him go back !"
he said, kissing her blushing cheek.
I'VE shall conspire TO keep him here |"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
MAOKAY AND rqB OoAOBMAN
Ihe Actor Makes a Clever Practical
Joke, at a COachman's Expense.

n
Joke, at a COachman's Expense.
A handsome closed brourham. with
an enameled monogram upon the
shining olive panels and the silver
lamps and polished mountings glis-
tening in the sunlight, stood before
one OF the great stores in Union
Square.
The coats Of the tall bay horses
were glossy and smooth the silver
mounted harness trappings shonc bright
". ana everything about the equipage
was as 1t should be, except the coach
man.
Not that the coachman was less ele-
CANT in appearance than the carriages
or the horses. The proportions of his
chest were majestic, his great coat
fitted without a wrinkle, his tall silk
hat shQne with the undimmed luster OF
the makers gloss, a handsome fur
cape adorned his broad shoulders and
his gloves were new and perfect.
But instead OF holding his head erect
with that dignity and hauteur that be
long alone to coachmen and kings, he
nodded sleepily upon his box and every
other minute his chin sank into the
fur of his cape. There were no other
carriages noar and the sleepy coach
mans head bobbed up and down.
Destiny had arranged that at this
junctuTc of affairs John A. Mackay
should be passing through Union Square
with friend on his way to dress for
the afternoon performance of 'Evange-
line at the Fourteenth Street thea
tre.
The comedian entertains lofty con-
tempt for men who cannot Stav UP
three nights in succession and remain
awake the next day; and, therefore,
when he caught sight of tho nOdding
cOachman, his soul WAS disturbed. He
stopped and remarked to his friend
Ill bet 81 that that dufer will
nod his hat of in less than eight
Tlreaother refused the risk as mduly
hazardous. and the two watched the
coachman for a few moments, and were
about TO walk on again, when Nr.
Mackay was suddenly seized with an
inspiration.
He bade his friend go on and wait for
MN before the next show window.
Then he stepped up to the side of the
carriage opened the door softly and
then slammed it shut again.
The effect upon the cOachman was
electrical Up went his chin into the
air and In his features could be de
tecteI the relief he felt that his mis-
tress had got into the carriage without
detecting his criminal sleepiuess
Thcn he turned his head slightly to
receive his directions, and observed Mr..
Mackay apparently in conversation with
the occupant of the carriage
Tho comedian addressed few polite
remarks to the empty carriage. said
Good afternoon" raised his hat, and
then turned TO the cJachman. " Home.
he ell and tho brOughmun turnsJ
majc-li"ally about and rolled swiftly
up to town.
A moment later a seal-skin clad lady
emerged from the store, followed by a
porter carrying half a dozen bundles.
She walked to the curbstono and looked
with amazement up and down the
street, and then turned augrily back to
the store.
" Far be It from me to intrude upon
the sanrtity of her grief" observed
Mr.. Mackay softly, and with his friend
he walked down Fourteenth street. New
York Sun
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
Where She Kept Her Money.

A few days ago a lady stepped into
the depot at Saltwater and purchased
"A ticket for st. Paul. She then aB-
preached the station agent and told
him that she had a largo aum OF
money on her person and wss afraid
10 90 alone, as there were several men
In the waiting room that she thought
were watching her.
She stated thst she had boon tray
cling through Europe and had stopped
on in New York several days on ber
return- where she had obtairt.d 81. OaO
worth of Government bonds and - 600
in money, making in all S25. 600. which
she carried on her person.
Tho agent doubted her story and asked
hor where the money was.
" In my stocking" she replied. aRd
drawing therefrom a bunch OF paper.
which she showed and which proved
to be genuine Government bonds
By the direction OF the agent one Of
the employees at the depot accompanied
the lady TO 81. Paul. where ne was
presented with a handsome pin as
reward FOR his services.-[St Pasil
Pioneer Press.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
a Funny Mistake.

1t was on a Lehigh Valley train bound
South the other day
Approaching the seat occupic; bv =
lady, the conductor pleasantly extended
his right hand, with the punch handiIv
adjusted 10 its fingers. Theremon the
lady quietly pushed farther into her seat.
and with a quizzical expression on her
countenance, remarked in a tone of sur
prise:
"Ah but my dear sir. l do not want
my tooth extracted. 1t hasn't been
source Of annoyance to me in several
DAYS.
The conductor stepped nearer TO the
end Of the scat, and was about to make, n
facetious reply, as ne considered that tin,
lady was not in earnest, when she met
him with:
g Didn't l tell you in sufficiently plain
terms that I would not submit TO the
operation? Are you deaf2 Go on about
your business with that instrument 20
She was really in earnest and when
she learned what tho punch was for.
bIu5hes suffused her face. Il Wilkes Barre
pa Leader.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14

Amid the great excitement caused IN
this section over the recent discovery
Of gold, 1t now happens that fuel IS to
be added 10 the flames by a Nj Neyels
who found while dressing q goose.
several particles Of puro gold in It's
craw.
The goose was one Of a pair that
AIr. Walter Nevels. a substantial ciu-
zen Of Lewis County, had recently
brought from Oregon and placed on bis
ranch here.
Its mate from some cause died. and
this one being valueless alone. was
killed, and while Mrs. Nevels WAS
dressing the fowl, noticed some bright
substance in the contents OF the
crRw.
Calling her husband, an investigation
was made, and the shining substance
proved to be particles Of gold. which
amounted in value to about one dol
lar.
And what now troubles sIr Eevels
is TO find the place whore the goose
got the gold, while many OF his neigh
bors wonder II this is not the VERT
able goose that laid the golden egg.
Il Portland Oregoniau.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
A BRIGHT DETECTIVE.
Has Many q Good Time with the Man
He Was Sent to Find, and Fails to
Recognize Him.

Some time ago a confidential clerk
In the employ of a firm in Indiana
skipped the gutter with several thou
sand dollars in ready cash. While il
was determined TO hunt him down at
all hazards, the firm did not feel like
wasting a great deal of money in so
doing.
A one-horse country detective was
therefore employed, and after a while
he traced his man to Detroit. The
detective didn't propose TO share any
of the glory with the Detroit officers,
and he slid around for a week before
he learned that his man was ia Wind
sor.
Then he won't over there, sfill work
Ing on the quiet, and a nice young
man at one of the hotels Informed
him that the defaulter had just gone
to Toronto, but would be back in a
few days.
The pair became fast friends, and
the nice young man had his daily
drinks and cigars at the detectives
expense.
The two came over to Detroit and
attended the theater and had good
times, and it was the opinion of the
officer that he never met such a nice
young man.
Finally, a night or two ago, as they
landed from the boat on the other
side the detective inquired:
You must be an agent Of some
sort?"
Oh, no." was the reply, Il am
simply travelling for pleasure"
Whore do you live when at homer"
In Indiana
Why, I'm from Indiana"
" Yes, you told me so the first day"
Whcrcabout in Indiana7"
Vinccnncs."
Good gracious! but my home Is
only three miles from Vincennes."
Yes, l know"
What did you do in Vincennes1"
Clerked for Lath & Shingles"
What! Why, that is the very firm
that was robbed p
Yes, know" was the placid reply.
And your name is-what" queried
the detective.
William Green p'
Great Scott! but you are the chap
who stole the money" hOwled the
officer.
a. Yes, certainly! What are you 60
ing TO do about itI" calmly replied
the nice young man, as he lighted
another flfteen-center. - Detroit Free
Press. -...
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
THE STEP-NTOTHER,

The day died out in drcariness and dread,
Grim shadows crept through hall and
corridor,
While fading iire-light Iurid fickering
shed
Athwart the paneIIed walls and oaken
floor.
Around the cheerless hearth the chill
dren pressed,
Pale, patient, brooding Ger the dreaded
Like half-Gedged birds forsaken in the
nest)
Too cowed to weep, too dulled with
gloom and sorrow.
Upon the wall the treasured portrait
hung,
That well-Iemembered smile forever
gone,
That pure white neck round which their
arms had clung,
Those lips once warm with kiss and
bcnison.
At every fancied football, white with fear,
The children started, trembled, glanced
around,
Gazed in each others eyes and seemed
to hear
The strangers voice IN every passing
sound.
How will she come? with frown, or bale
full smile
Yet fearfuller, to greet the shrinking
thTOng?
How look, how speak2 Why tarries she
meanwhile,
Thus wautonly their torture to pro-
long?
At last she comes. Hush, hush, unwel-
como guest,
Usurper OF dead rites and dearest ties
All, no false fears it is vision blest-
An angel stands before their glistening
eyes,
With such smile as mild Msdonnas
wear,
Oh! such a loOk-so gracious and so
meek
Tho twilight glimmering round her gold
en- hair,
And tears of tender pity on her cheek.
-lHarper's Bazaar.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
FAT AND THIN.
Contrasting and Curious Ideas the De-
velopnlcn mt Of AdiPOse Tissue

Contrasting and Curious Ideas ON the De-
velOpmcnt Of AdiPOse Tissue
To the student Of ethnologv few
things are more Interesting than the
different views held by the Eastern
and Western worlds on the subject Of
corpulence.
In China. eorpulence Is considered
10 be one OF the most important quail
itications Tor the holding OF any public
Office. il l. regarded as a physical
virtue which imparts dignity TO the
appearance. weight 10 the Judgment.
and solidity To the mind
In China the thin man fs always
moody and disappointed. he sees him-
self easily outstrippcd in the race q
life by his stoutor contemporaries. and
en1gCd at the unjust distribution Of
natures gifts, he rctires usually into
obscurity- and shuns the gaze Of his
fellOw-citizens.
Bsnting, except as a punishment for
great criminals, is unknown in China.
The most popular gods in the Chinese
Pantheon are those remarkable for
their obesity.
With us in Europe how different e
IS : Daniel Lambert whom the Chinese
would have sent 10 a province as =
mandarin, we sent to a museum as 3
munst rosity.
Byron's tendency TO grow fat WAS
one Of the secrets Of his melancholy,
and the declining years Of the iirst
gentleman in Europe were rendered
miserable by that stnutuess which even
stays could not conceal.
II is true that Shakspere intended
Hamlet 20 be fat feeling probably that
il would bc characteristic Of such q
lcthargic nature, but modern audiences
are not ready 10 accept fat Hamlcts !;
they prefer thin Hamlets. and even
lean Hamlcts, and seem 10 be of opiR-
ion that there IS an artistic discord
between romance and rOtuudity.
And indeed is cannot be doubted
that this opinion is very widespread.
The only instance 10 the contra. "
that we know OF Is in the case Of 3
lady who, on being shown the Apollo
Bclvidcrc, remarked that she preferred
" stOuteT statues :" but this lady wes
from Chicago Pail Mall Gazette.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
The Judge ns.F Fnmnr ,t.n-

Judge Thomas 4. Moran. uf Chicago.
has large family Of children, OF al of
whom he is Justly proud
The day after he had been presented
with twins he was listening to jurors
excuses. when a man who had been
drawn said. mildly
Your Honor. I can't serve"
Why nots' asked the court. IN
tones that had become stersstypoi.
"a he looked out Of the court room
window.
Approaching quite close the juror
whispered
Ny wife has just given birth 70
boy, Judge"
No excuse at all" observed the
Judge. a. he closed his docket with a
bang, my wifo had two last night,
and l have been here all day"
The juror served. The Arzonaut.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
Bean Soup Better Than Beef Ten

A writer in the Peoples Health Journal
tells OF a debilitsted patient who did not
do at all we'll on beef tea, hut WIS easily
restored to health on diet or bean soup
The only remarkable thing about this
IS that the patient ever expected TO de
rive strength and nourishmont from beef
toa alone. Considering that We have up
ward of n hundred thousand doctors. and
that very large proportion Of them are
fully agreed Tint beof tea is almost value
loss. except as a stimulant 1t is surIris-
ing that people continue to look upon it
as food.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14

writer i'm the Therapeutic Gazette
recommends soups made OF lnatil flour.
ms.,'i with one eighth par Of CraUud
matt fur tGo use of iuvalids- In warn
i#E. 'an ...a-laec Oi the malt converts
i.tn r.t.g into soluble and easily dicc--cd
s- .-..Hro-- The soup may be Favored
v... lu.r fea
Tu- writer saws that IcntiI flour CON
t2.l- H.s.c inorganic salts and twice
Is laucl heterogeneous material as wheat OF
Oat -four.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
A Talking Match.

Two French women entered into a
contest to determine which Of them
could talk the faster. 4 mutual friend
was appointed umpire and the sum
Of 1000 francs was to 60 to the victor.
For three hours they read from Eu-
gene Sues feuillntOu, and during that
time the victor succeeded in pronouncing
1858 words. Her adversary came in
a bad second with Dos $50 words.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14
HopelessIy Bankrupt.

" Fate is against me, said despairing
Wall street man TO his wife. I have
borrowed money from every quarter TO
keep my margins good. but without avail
nave not only lost all that possessed.
but every cent that 1 could get from
friends "a we'll"
g i cvorything swept awsy?" asked his
anxious wifc.
90 e.. everything save honor. That
alone remains. - y. Y. Times
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1887-01-14

Husband: Il would we're In
Heaven"
Talkative Wife: That's unkind. I'm
suro make it as pleasant as 1 can for
YOU"
Husband: "Ah. but YOU know the
poet says To die is landing On some
silent shore '"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1887-06-22
Apprehension OF Violence
AT CEDAR GROVE FROM NEGRO oEGANI.
CATIONS IN THAT VICINITY.

1t appears from good authority that an
organization similar to tho knights of
! labor has been formed among tho nc
groes, instigGtcd by a man by the name
of Huoyer, in the neighborhood Of Co.
dar Grove i'm this county This organ
izatlon holds secret meetings two or
throc times n week.
There arc Wild mo coming from
that ncighborhood rs to the purpose of
such organizations.
A c:lvary company with DR.. Jno. Al
Westmoreland as Captain and Abram
Cook LIST Lieutenant, has boon organized
among tho whites in hat ncigbbornood
for self protection i'm caYo of any out
burst of VIOLENCE from tho organizations.
Con. ScafIln OF Columbia, visited thd
Vicinity last wock but nothing dohnIte
Is known of his information. Gov.
Richardson telegraphcd Col. James II.
Tranyham on last Saturday to visit the
locality and report u him tho truo state
OF facts. Col. Tranyham With Capt. l.,
II. Irby loft l,aurens on Saturday on this
Groenyillo &Laurous railroad and got
OF at fountain Inn.