News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-04-14
THE LIME-KILA CLUB.
Brother Gardner gives Brothers
jackson and Howker some Ad-
vice.
[From the Detroit Free Press. ]

ITTOUl Tic b6biOAN
eff Brudder Coincidence jackson an
back dar' by de stove / should ike &c
speak o few words with him, sa1o
Brother Gardner as the meeting opened.
Coincidence had inst taken off one
shoe and sock to agitate the chllblains,
but after a few hurried motions he came
| to the front and the President continued
"Brudder Coincidence, has anything
happened to you lately :.
ayes. sah-I'ze got rellgun.
$50 [ understan'. You've almoas'
made ND your mind to go fo'th and
preach, dey tellme?"
Eyes sab. I'ze jist watin' till git
! some money ahead.
''Brudder Coincidencensllet me advise
wild you. People cstasetsake mistakes
In sic.EE things. 2SSS@, Il The fust place,
try yer religion an see if it stands de
tests.
''Has yer change of heart resulted in
yer payin' up any outlawed debts
''Do you do any less poundin' an
SWARM when dat ole mule q your gifts
stalled in de mud?
cam you firmly decided in your
mind dat if you find wallet in de road
you will return it to de owner!
''Kin you see your naybur grain his
front doah, put up new curtains an sot
an iron hitchin' post widout feelln'
envious of his luckl
eff you was gwine to trade mules wild
Compromise Taylor, who Ibis 'longside
of you, an am nigh-sighted, would you
conceal de fackt dat your. beast am
blind in one eye an has got twenty
seben different spavins.
eff you am paid quarter too much
in maxim change am you gwine to keep
it, an if you git stuck wild bogus
quarter am you gwine to work it off on
somebody else?
"Doan' be in a hurry, Brudder Coin
cidence, to believe an announce to de
world dat you has got reGgun. 1t ar
de easiest thing in the world to git
fooled on. Wait an test yourself. You
may stan ebery test an come out pure
gold, or you may fail on cherry one. AN
in case it turns out dat you has religun
de real religun -doan' be in sweat to
go out an preach to your feller-men.
De res of us amt in any mo- danger
dan we was befo', an it will be quesh-
un whether you can't help de Lawd mo-
by staying right at home an takin' car
of yer family while somebody else does
de preachin'. You kin now sot down,
Brudder Coincidence, an [ trust you
will turn these remarks an observashuns
ober in your mind an Civ dem due re-
fexun."
Whalebone Howker, who had been
moving about in an uneasy manner for
several minutes, now arose and present
ed a resolution to the effect that all
members of the Lime-Kiln Club be en-
titled to the prefix of "Hon."
Samuel Shin, Pardon Smith, Ginger
Davis and several others moved the
adoption of the resolution.
"Brudder Howker, what's de ideah ?"
softly inquired the President.
'"TO lift us up, / specks."
sob, dat's it Well, I shall sot down
on your nonsense to once. In de fust
place, if you am honest an upright, you
are jist as much Hon. aIanybody else,
p g in no,i de e oxt 5o,5 3 place Z = t1e wouldn't
anybody in dis club whJs sam not salts
fed with Esq. he will hfy to co.
"Queshun Queshun r called voice
from the back end of the hall.
'T'riday Jones, am datyou callin2"
eyes, sah."
"Come forward -
Friday slouched up the aisle to the
clear spot in front of the Presidents
desk, looking very sheepish and down
cast, and Brother Gardner continued
''Brudder Jones, [ has met Honor
ables who orter hev been arrested under
the vagrant act [ has met Judges who
orter hev bin sent to State Prison. [ has
met Colonels an Captains whom I
wouldn't trust wild bar'l of soap. A
title am a bubble, but bein' as you ar
hungry fur one we shall hereafter refer
to you as Donkey Jones. 1t means iist
as much as Hon an perhaps leetle
mo-. Take it an return to your co'ner
an be happy an swellup wild dignity,
an de meeti'n will now adjourn"