The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-12-02
AMONG THE TESTERS.


somehow or other the poor Wall street
lambs do not seem 10 get great deal OF
satisfaction out Of that Exchange.
A physician, few weeks since, Civ.
ing us an account Of the decline
OF church in his town, said
1T had died OF the "foot-and-mouth
disease" Being asked what he meant, he
said that the people spent their time run.
ming around talking about each other. p
Christian Advocate.
II may be true, as a distinguished local
socialist remarks, that reporters are always
confounding socialists with anarchists.
Very likely. IL is little difficult for
Americans to properly distinguish anarch.
lists, socialists and nihilists As the Hon.
Bradwell Slote remarked 10 Mrs. General
Gilflory, touching potations-th taste
the same in all languages. City
Times.
First Tramp--Hello, Jim; where have
you been for so long? Second Tramp-In
Kansas City. "What doin'?" "Visitin'
the mayor and the other big bugs. Had a
bully time" 81 sh'd say so. How did
you git in with thcm?" II told 'em I'd
tamped all over the world, and Kansas
City was bigger n London and Paris put
together. Omaha World.
Don't you want few signs, Honesty
is the best policy hung on the waltz
said man who had such signs for sale tc
the grocer. "There's money in them"
''No, l guess not" replied the grocer
"Ive been doin' business on this corner
fer ten year, in a stiddy, conservative sort
o way, an l don't b lieve in maxim any
new-langled departures. "-Tid-Bts.
II is an awful thing that there should be
such persons as Margaret Cain, who has
been convicted OF drunkenness no less
than go times at various metropolitan
corrts. But there is touch q grim
humor about the woman's last exploit,
which has procured her PSI convictions.
She turned up Every, very drunk" ut the
Leman street police station, and began
singing Home, Sweet Home. London
Globe.
Too Tragic--The students Of the Univer.
sity OF Texas occasionally give amateur
theatrical performances. Tom Anjerry,
who WIS TO play the "GhOst," invited
Nose Schaumburg 10 attend, telling him
that it was the hkgedy Of Hamlet" $50
IL vas tragedy, vas it2" asked the Austin
merchant" dyes was the reply. ''Vel,
den, don't 90. Ven / looks mine books
over and see how much vas owing Inc
from dose university students, | have
more tragedy den wants. "-Texas Siit-
ings.
A Somerset business man, not long
since had occasion TO write 70 a gentleman
who evidently had few correspondents.
The envelope had the usual "Rcturn in
ten days TO ----, Somerset, Ky.," on il.
in about ten days the letter came back 10
him, accompanied by n scrawling note,
the writer saying that he had returned
the letter according 10 the request on the
envelope, though he didn't see why he
was no alfred particular about having il
sent back. '-Somersot (Ky.) Republican.
There was once great CONSERVATION i'm
the office OF lions Herald when the writer
Of an obituary article upon q mother in
Israel, having said in pious phrase that she
died and claimed the promise. " the paper
was made 10 aver that she had died 'and
cleared the premises" And IL was out at
Worcester, Mass, where Rev. George If
Hepworth, having declared in public adj
dress, 81 am not a free lance" the sedate
Spy gave him fame by printing the SEN
tence, 81 want free lunch. '-Boslon
Transcript.
A lady was taking her little daughter
and she was crying very hard. The police-
man on the beat. whom she feared Tor his
uniform, was standing ON the corner as
they passed. lie was very friendly, but
sho did not trust his frienllncss very
much. "What little girl is that crying and
making so much noise2p "BoO-hoO, boo
hoo II isn't me- it's some other little girl
-boo.hoo, boo-hoo San Francisco
Chronicle.
A correspondent Of the Poultry Journal
says that lac would like 10 know how
10 tell a good egg. Why, nothing
IL easier. Take an egg between the
thumb and index finger OF tho LEFT hand,
then take a can opener in the right hand
and slightly tap the shell until IL is cracked.
Then place the cgg under your nose and
smell OF il in q vigorous manner. II these
directions are carefully followed You will
not rcmnin long In doubt as 20 whether or
not the cgg Is in good sanitary condition.
~--Arlmnsiw Traveller
A diminutivc drummer IN q local brass
band is In the habit when out panding
with his comrades, Of walking by iuith and
not BY sight, owing 10 his drum being 20
high that he u unable 20 sec over 10. The
band on Saturday afternoons par lcs nj
ways In one direction, but the 9th day
The leader thought he would change the
route little, and turned down by street.
The drummer, unaware Of this movement,
kept ON his accustomed way, drumming rs
hard a. ever he could. By and by, after
finishing his part, and not hearing the
Others, he stopped and pushing his drum
90 one side, he looked 10 see what WIS
the matter lis establishment may be
imagined at finding that he was alone.
'lIael" he cried 10 some OF the bystlnders,
''has ony o yc seen band hcreaboutY'-