Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1887-07-23
saturday SMILES.

"You are not so strong as you used TO be, j ohm"
said a fond wife TO her husband. "When you were
counting me you could hold Inc on your lap three
hours. Now you cannot hold the baby on your
lap three minutes."-Bosfon Courier.
People at the shore enjoy saying they "sleep
ficient for these satisfied mortals but why should
they want 10 sleep under blankets these July
nights is beyond the comprehension OF even Con-
cord phlloSopher.-Boston Herald
s.Hello, Major" said the Judge this morning 81
haven't seen you for week; where have you
been?" "Been home, sick as dog" replied the
major. "You! Why, you were always as healthy
as could be- What in the world made you ill9-
.'Well / tried to follow rules on health saw
In the papers "-I'insburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Gentle Hiat.-Omaha Husband-"The theater
will be half over before get started"
Young wife-"well, can't get these gloves but
"Donr see why you should be 80 slow and awk.
ward about common thing like that"
al never had a chance 10 practice before"
no there We're alWass ' pienty OF VSuns men
around TO do that for me- you know, dear."-
Omaha World
A writer in volume OF verses Just published in
London fabrfcates this rather grisy double bar.
relied pun In speaking OF Russias ruler:
And should little wonder, friends, TO read one
That mighty dynasty had died through nasty dyns-
mite.
Lightning knocked over three men who were SIT.
ting on boxes in front Of grocery store in Pater-
The other two exclaimed: "Leggo. I'm comm
right Observation-Disclosures Hdukeye.
Little Girl ito guest at dinner)-"AreyouE English
Mr.. wynn-Pell-'Yes, my dear. DO you like Eng.
lish people?"
lish. Mamma says they are more respectful than
Irish servantS."-NeW York sun.
on Governor-street car yesterday. Young
married man In forcible tones: II tell you am
boss OF my house, and what say there goes"
Passenger on next seat leans over and remarks:
"Beg pardon; but is your wife at homer" Young
married man, In less forcible tones: NO. she's In
the country" Everybody in the car smiled out
loud.-ErOUidence Journal.
Woman Ito drug clerk,-"Got emmy postage
Clerk tsmartly Dyes, madam; two cents piecs
or two for four"
Woman talso smartly,-'Gimme me two. an On
Clerk-"For me-what for?n
Woman."To paste on the top o. your head 70
keep you brains from oozing out"-Drdkes Ma0o-
zine.
Happy Thought.-First actor quilting the tr1g.
ger OF a revolver six times. ode, you miserable
second actor-"Your pistol has missed IRE, Sir
Rudolph, but am smitten with remorse for my
crimes ana win die according to your wish"
slssS The fen Ssss
OF laughter. Jacks Journal
Mrs De Society-"what q lovely baby that 10
mine" ''fndeedf" ''Oh, I'm sure OF IT; / recog.
ntzed the nurse."-Ondhd World.
II all men were to pay as they go there would b
less going and more paying.-Loioel Caisen.
Give q weakling punch enough and he Will soon
make judy OF himself.-Net0 Orleans Rcayune.
Brown-"Hello, Jones Hows your wffe?"
Jones "a little deaD-"yery clustering and disa-
greeable this morning. Troy Times
st. PeterL.Come in. good and faithful servant"
Newly Arrived Spirt-'tSarvant is It. ye sayf
It's lady's help was sirn
ooh, well never mind. Come fnp
"Thats heaven, Is ft?n
"This Is heaven
Show many nights an afternoons out WIN
objectionable World.