The Forrest City times., 1887-12-31


 As choice of evils. well behaved blizzard beats winter fog. - Chicago Herald.
 A total abstinence preacher should not keep his sermons in a barrei.- - NeV Orleans PieGyuHe.
 The man who "builded better than he knew was not New York con tractor. -LoweH Courier.
 A bride Is always becoming to g Boniface, and bonny face is always becoming to bride. -Hotet Mail.
 The English Government want good men to defend it's coercion policy. No Irish need apply.--LoVeH CitigeH.
 The Duke of Marlborough is in Chicago. That borough is enough like him to be his cousin. San Frdneisco Alta.
 If all the glass factories shut down we shall have to be careful of our beer glasses for some time to come Boston Post.
 Tight money" murmured the un- fortunate in the police court as he paid the usual fine and costs. -BoSton Bulletin.
 Does your husband swear as much as everP" Swear! Why. I can't keep 8 parrot two weeks in the house. - Io,cn Topics.
 The older a man gets the more diff cult it is to pull the wool over his eyes. He has a good deal less wool. you know. - Yonkcrs Statesman.
 The carpenter is an unreasonable fellow. He objects to plain board. and yet he don't like board until it is plained. -Dansuiile Breeze.
 Flossie came home from the park in a state of mind, Mama she said, "I saw a team of horses in the park what had their bustles cut of. "-Neto York iSnn
 The man who was told to keep watch and ward over his friends chattls. did keep the watch and then warred against being arrested for it. = Whtte- hatt Times
 Eastern railroad companies should revise their passenger tariffs at once so as to make slight distinction be- tween the quick and the dead. --Duinth ParagrGpher.
 A lamp has more sense than some people If it is in room where there are two souls with but marri- ed thought it invariably goes out. - Yonsers Statesmda
 What at the beginning may have been regarded merely as side issue frequently turns out to be the most i'm portant subject. 1t was so in the case of Eve - hcayHne.
 They say over in London that Gould is little, but. like most little people. mighty. We don't think it is respect ful to speak of Jay as though he were a cheese. --Boston Globe.
 Sweet Girl (disrobing) Did you look under the bed?' Old Maid "What forp" 'To sec if there was a man there.'' "No. dear. I've given up all hope. "-- Omaha VorM
 Lady (who had a sick husband)-- Don't you think. doctor. that you ought to bleed my husband?" Doctor (absent- No. madam, not until he gets we'll. "--EPoch. Procrastination is the thief of time. The last time old Cras was seen he was sitting in Montreal hotel corridor pitching pennies with Billy Moloney. = NeW York Journal.
 Doctors say that drinking large quanties of water will produce fat. To show it's absurdity look at fish. It fairly lives in water yet why is it so bonyp- Binghanstoa Republican. An exchange has an article on "China as It Is" Just how China is depend ], upon the hired girl Generally it | wicked. and often so badly broken that it has to be swept out --Omaha World.
 It seems that we are boycotting the American hen and arc using about l5, 900. 900 foreign eggs every season, This is something for al,en poultry to crow over. -D Detroit Free Press.
 The expression A bloated bondhold. er," is not happy one Lots of men who hold lots of bonds are not bloated and lots of men who hold little else than lots of whisky are much bloated. - NeW Orleans Picayune.