The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1887-06-01

with it the due minister. AS he walked up the
aisle broad grin overspread the faces in the
rear seats BY the time ne reached the pulpit
the congregation broke out into roar of
laughter The minister was bald
BABYHooD Little Susie four years old, was
Being reproved by her mamma, who said she
must be better girl she would have to pun
ish her; that she very, very naughty, etc.
Susie began to hum a little tune; she sang
aloud. Her mamma said Stop singing; DONE
YOU know that it is saucy for you to sing when
| am talking to your Susie could endure it no
longer She burst out sobbing and said 'Didn'r
Mr. Beecher say that when you felt bad you
must sing2'
DURING the recent visit OF Mr.. Chamberlain
and Mr. Jesse Ceilings to Scotland, two Skye
crofters were discussing the political situation.
Quoth one: "Weel. Angus. and what do you
think of this Master Chamberlain that's to DO
here the NORM To which the other replied:
''Weel, Donald, he maun be a very bad man.
travelling about wi WI a different
name!' ''Wi' woman Eh, mon. some one has
been foolin' yer Ma. nal it's true They telled
she's one Jessie Ceilings"
A TERRE HAUTE paper says that anairs pace
need not be used any longer a term more or
less indefinite By an interesting experiment at
the Polytechnic. the other day, it was ascer-
tanned exactly and reduced TO figures, which may
now be quoted by persons who favor the use of
exact terms a half dozen of the mollusks were
permitted to crawl between two points, ten feet
apart, and the average pace ascertained.
FROM fllS lG was easy enough TO calculate that
one snail can crawl a mile IN Just fourteen days.
WASHINGTON will seem different place with
out Ben: Perley Poore He has beea long a
conspicuous figure at the capital that his loss is
almost national calamity. His life, while not
success from financial stand point, was full
of nonors He had reached the highest degree
IN masonry. had honorable record a SOL
der was the author of half dozen books, had
established the Congressional Directory, and
had won a reputation of the most enter
tainlne newspaper correspondents the country
ever possessed.
ANIMADvERTING upon Professor Tvndals re-
cent structures upon Mr.. Gladstone and homo
rule, Mr. Labouchere says he used to think the
Professor rather agreeable sort of scientific
man. He did not know very much. | believe,
but he used to say it in very pleasant way.
He had healthy outdoor tastes. too mountain
eering, and on which somewhat lifted him
out of the ranks of the ordinary pedant." Now
however. even that little gilt is off the ginger
bread, and ''Labby,' remarking that there is
not much of the man left in Professor Tyndall"
advises him to don nigntcap and soak his feet
in hot water.
MIDNIGHT EXPERIENCE.
The stars looked down the sluTnbering town
As softly to bed last night crept;
He had yelled his fill. the house STILL
And we knew that the little tyran. slept.
So glad,
But we stubbed toe gainst the crib and 10!
A yell of twenty-six lung power
Tie stiffness broke for tho tyrant woke
And walked the floor for anothr hour.
So nadi
-Bostoa Courier.
OUR GIRLS.
TITS said that in Me.
The girls all ple.
And that in CT.
No girl wears pt.,
Though girls down in Md
Remind you of I'd.
Who courts in Ky.
viii surely be ly..
Though girls in O.
No lover goes no.,
While girls in Mo.
All love men like TO-
And girl in Neb.
VIII kiss if you aeb.
New York Commercial Advertiser.