The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1887-04-19
the hecinning Of the vear SIS.

family. Now, maybe, 1 didn't hear
you Just right. Would you say that
again. and say it slow. What year
did you say it wass' '51S.'
And. according to your notions.
according to your lights and super.
stitions, what year is It nowG Why
he said, the year SIS, the 18th of
June Well, l felt q mournful sink
ing of the heart and muttered: /
shall never see my friends again
never see my friends any more: they
won't be born for as much as 8 thou
sand years.
The audience had often been inter
rupted by laughter. but at the origin
atty and fun of that conceit his
auditors laughed until they cried.
and kept on laughing with renewed
outbursts over and over again. How
the cute Yankee determined to get at
the bottom facts about the year by
watching for q total eclipse of the
sun that be remembered the almanac
of 1884 had spoken of as having oc-
4 CURED IN 52S. viii have 70 be learned
from the book when il appears.
Il made up my mind to two things.
! II II was still the nineteenth century
and was among lunatics and could
not get away, l would boss that asy-
lum or know the reason whys and if.
on the other hand. II was really the
sixth century. all right. l didn't
want any better thing; I'll boss the
( whole country inside of three months.
for l judged I'd have the start on the
best educated man IN the kingdom by
1900 years But Tn not
man to waste time. so l said to the
1 boy. Clarence. If your name should
/ happen 10 be Clarence. what's the
name of that duck. that galoot, who
brought me herer
The galoot turned out 10 be Sir
hap, the Seneschal- In the natural
/ course OF the story came the charm
( ing description Of the interior of
King Arthur's castle, leading Us up
to a royalty funny account OF the
/ competitive lying OF the gallant
( knights about their feats Of rms.
1 The ransposed Smith looked upon
t the knights as & sort OF white
Indians" admired their bigness and
their simplicity, and eventually con
/ eluded:
There didn't seem to be brains
enough in the entire nursery 10 bait q
/ fshhook. but you didn't mind that
I after little while. for you saw that
/ brains were not needed in a society
ike that, and would have marred its
! symmetry and spoiled il.
/ Everybody goes 10 sleep when Mer- =
/ LIN reels of that same old story about
Excahber. Guinevere makes eyes at
Launeelot IN q way that would have
got him shot IN Arkansas. King
J Arthur orders the Yankee to go to
/ some unknown place not down IN any
map. capture castle. kill the colos-
sal ssucer-eyed ogre who owned 1t,
/ and release sixty royal prineesses.
Z OF course he went. but he reflected:
We'll. OF all the id contracts
[ this Is the boss. I offered 10 sublet
( il 10 Sir Launcelot-to let him have
+ Il at ninety days with no margin:
but No he had got 3 better thing.
( He was going for menagerie Of one
eyed giants and q college Of
. princesseS.
Il occurs TO him finally. after won
dering if compromise with the ogre
wouldn't work. simply to go back and
tell the King, with artistic circum
stantiality of detail, that he mas killed
/ the ogre. He does so. and. of course,
/ the King and his knights. who are
used 10 swallowing each others huge
lies, readily take II his. and bril-
liant career opens before him as the
boss liar Of the court,
/ He took 3 contract from King Ar
thur to kill of. at one. OF the great
tournaments, fifteen kings and many
acres OF hostile armored knights.
4 When, lance IN rest, they charged by
4 squadrons upon him. he. behind the
protection OF barbed wire fence
charged with electricity, moved them
4 down with Calling guns that he had
made Tor the occasion. He found
that the education Of the nineteenth
century Is plenty good enough CAPT
tal 70 go into business IN the sixth
century with: and the next year he
was running the kingdom all BY him
self Oh moderate royalty Of 20 per
cent
He spoiled the ogre business
cleared OUT the fuss and iummery Of
romance and put King Arthur's
kingdom on q strictly business basis.
Inside OF three and half years the
improvement was complete. Cast
iron clothes had gone out OF fashion.
+ Sir Launcelot was running 3 kind OF
Louisiana lottery. The search Tor
the Holy Grail had been given up for
hunt for the northwest passage.
King Arthur's 40 illustrious knights
had turned themselves into stock
board. and 2 seat at the round table
was worth $4,000