The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-08-20
Vrinen for The ArkansdW Trdpeter.
 Simpsons Sermons.
Second Paper.
BY S. LEDNUM MYERS.

Pards. have you ever in your lives known of any single individual or number of them, banded together as smellin' committee, to ferret out evil ways and doin's but what, if they played square hand, the evidence of fraud would appear to come upon them from every direction, and many times from sources and from people they least imagined or suspected? Pards, that good old bible speaks about evolves in sheep's pants" and some may be dressed in Lyons silks. It will be a good thing for you all to remember that these evolves" intest every state, city, town, village and ranch, from the frigidity of Lapland to the orange blossoms of our sunny south, and from the land of the old Puritans to our own Frisco by the golden gate.
 As was speakin' of individuals and smellin' committees, Joe belonged to this class, and made capital detective in the service of the boss of that boardin'- house. Playin' a square game he found out from the butler and the baker, who were employed by this same boss, that somehow or someway there were light weights and short measures in his grocery and dry goods supplies. Both merchants had a large lettered sign over their store-doors, which read: "We give sixteen ounces to the pound and thirty-six inches to the yard" More than nine- tenths of their customers could neither read nor write, so it was only sign and noth- ing more.
 Joe argued the matter with them, and insisted that these lies must be honest dealers and dared him to inter- fere with their business" Pards, Joe was one of those bold men who, when they put hands on a pair of blow han dles, never looked back but went straight ahead. It 80 happened, just at this time, Judge Lynch was hold ing criminal court in that district and had just empaneled a grand jury, whose sworn duty it is "to diligently inquire into and true presentment make of all such matters as shall be given them in charge, or otherwise come to their knowledge; that they will present no one through hatred, malice, or ill-will, and leave none un- presented through fear, favor or affec- tion."
 Joe gave his testimony before these honorable men. A true bill for fraud was returned to Judge Lynch's court, and in less than ten days these "bood- Ter" merchants were invited to free ride to the state prison to serve out sentence of ten years each and to pay fine of a thousand dollars. Maybe that ranch was aot painted red, after the verdict of that jury became known. As for Joe, every body shook his hand, and said "they were glad to know that thirty three did not equal thirty-six; that fourteen could never outweigh sixteen"
 We'll, pards, Joe thoroughly recon- structed that boardin'- house so that everything worked in first-class or der. Every DOarder took to him men and "wimmen"-for Joe was no ordinary looking chap. Even the iandlady smiled on him in her bland est way, but Joe tended strictly to business; no Mormonism in his, though the whole country in them diggin's was settled up with lots of them polygamous wretches, but land sakes, what could one man do against so many? His efforts to crush out the evil were just like our good, old Un- cle Samuers, over here ill Utah, atry- in to strike dge-hammer blows with wooden mallet.
 Instead of there bein' fewer Mor- mons this year than last, the number grows larger and larger, and the song they think there is the most music in, begins with the lines w hat are you going to do about it?" A first-class soloist in the Mormon temple at Salt Lake City who is able to render this song with telling effect can be well supported with a full orchestra and chorus in Washington, D. C., and you would be surprised to find in the au- dience . fair sprinklin' of our capital citizens in the parqnette circle, while thOse who reside there four years only are prominent in the boxes. 0xx T. A-I