Telegram-herald., 1887-07-03

eddicatiOn. What's de use OF su eddication
when can hire brains like yours so cheap
Oh. no. II costs money to hire animal
trainers. brains are de cheapest tinss | get
for de show"
Just now the question arises how will
Superintendent Of Police Smith feel when
he goes deep down into his trousers pocket
Tor that SO which was awarded to Frank
ODay Tor damages to the property which
was removed a couple OF weeks ago
from Al Pearl-st.. on the occasion
Of that memorable Saturday afternoon raid
It's pretty hard to take this sum from ones
earnings, bat the commissioners probably
had in mind a recurrence of a few such
cases when they raised the salary. There
is probably 40 truth IN tbe report that the
Board will recommend the payment OF the
amount from the general fund.
"Did YOU hear about that shower that
Grand Rapids didn't get yesterday" said
Mayor Dikeman. Didn't Well III tell
YOU about IT, IL was a female
shower. 1t came up to the city
limits and then hearing that Gen. Smith
was Superintendent of Police 1t turned
around and refused TO come any further
Every patriotic man, woman or child VIII
celebrate the anniversary OF American In
dependence tomorrow and good share OF
them Will start in tonight. It's habit
they have of blowing tin horns, firing
giant crackers and make all the hideous
noise possiblein order to make life misera-
bic for those who attempt to sleep these
hot nights. Just why the day
/ should be celebrated by the burn
/ ing of gun powder is question
which has puzzled the brains of the scien-
lists Of this country, and will probably for
ever remain unsolved As it is the fashion,
let every one follow suit. and the Valley
| City shake with the sound OF cracker and
other instruments of torture, for this is a
great and glorious country, and Grand
| Rapids IS one of its finest cities.
Now that Conklin is locked up safely in
the Cleveland Jail, and is almost certain to
pay the penalty for the crimes he has
/ committed. it would place the peo-
pie Of Grand Rapids under renewed
/ obligations to him if be wonld
kindly explain how he made hi. escape
from the Kent County Jail. Numerous
/ theories have been advanced and numerous
dollars expended in the matter OF invest-
cation. aud If he slick chap would only
uubosom himself press and public would
be pleased and somebody relieved Of un-
inst blame Bat be probably will retain
[ his usual silence and the reporters have no
prospects Of big scoops"
Two burglaries the past week demon.
state the truth Of the statement recently
made in this column that the city
bad "a guests number Of crooks
Who we're preparing TO work the town a.
soon "a an opportunity afforded These
! I,.ue burrlsyies are probably but the sors-
runners OF something bigger 70 come. snd
the police uili ind il advisable no doubt
70 keep weather eye open for these chaps.
CHICAGO is TOO xarm for tie crooks. &c
they are al vel known. bgt hsrs they rest
fn periscs security. for who on the police
iorfs ever Travelled much beyond the boz.
aeTs of the ersst state Of Michigan,
Take the children for an outing Thsy
have beea e0iled and stsvsd il
hot school rooms for the pss'
three months. ard they stonld
b given a. opportunity to regain their
lost strength for the poor ventilation Of ths
pubic scb0oI rooms are oot conducive n
zo0d health II you cannot s6oTd 70 visi'
some az The reeoTts which The TELvsssN
heRArn this morning pictures 50 besGti
! fully. iske them % The lake OF send then
fnta The country where they can ronr and
plar sad their faces become bron zed II
cheaper than psvinx doctor bills sod ths--
isa runcr IN the ar that coins have riz.
Sfsweri1fsndert of Poor Snish c.iisd nE
She seiepnons exchange tie ether cay soS
10 - excitement flzot tie number sf -.
II A. Honae. Re called for - : sns
Vas s~i<ched On - the Lsacrs feleo1ons
VIXEN the following conversation tool
oscs
Got any children F0a Tsat % siv'
avss~
-Se. rsrl5sd TIE anlab.s Iady book
seener. caa np Ne. p next door. to
F.rase-as ofce- Fhev have = nume~r Q
.avsnile~ ou taslr EspoztoEis. sf2a