davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
A Paralyzsd Farmer.

A Detroit butcher named Joe VIII
etts was up in Mecosta County few
days ago TO see some relatives Joe u
built after the old-style architecture
one story and basement and any
man who picks him mp for a consump-
tive is bound to feel sad over the mig
take While out riding one day With y
friend he came across n farmer who
was trying to "yank" a stump out OF
the ground with yoke OF feeble look
ing steers. The stump had begun to
give but the steers strained and
twisted and pulled and couldn't bulge
it another inch.
What are you trying to do'' asked
Joe as he stopped his horse.
Trying to pull out this infernSl
stump, sir" was the reply.
"And the steers cant do itg''
mo, nor any other yoke in these
parts. tn take pound Of gunpop-
der to lift that stump"
"Shoo! now, but take off your cattle
I'm something on the pull myself. "
you! Say, do look ike fool? YOn
can drive on, stranger"
But Joe jumped down. slipped ibs
chain off the yoke, drove the steers So
one side, and then walked over to the
stump and sad:
sometimes the dirt flies over haiS
an acre OF ground. Better shade yO0,
eyes"
With that he spit on his hands.
clasped his arms around the stump
and without 4 bulge OF his eyes he liti-
ed the whole thing out of the earth and
flung it aside with the remark:
shouldn't like any better fun .hau
to pull those steers backwards over tlse
fence, but we must be going now. Sc
long, old man."
And he climbed in and drove of. AZ
bend in the road half mile away
they looked back. The farmer stood
there, mouth open and eyes rs big N
Bermuda onions, and when they waY-
ed their hats at him he never moved
hair He couldn't. He was paraly lei.
Free Press.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27

skillluI secretaries. He had advanced
far in his first term before his literary
abilities began to be admitted by schol-
mrs, but his second inaugural, very
hastily-wr.tten composition, and the
Gettysburg Grafton brought the long
delayed tributes.
One of his historians points out thai
long before Mr.. Lincoln had more than
q local repute he had given proof Of
great literary abilities. This historian
quotes Lincoln's speech made while in
congress in 1913 on the subject OF the
Mexican war, and says; with thss
speech on record it is strange that the
genuine literary abilities OF the Bar
were so long and persistently ignores
by the literary people Theirs wew
men who voted for him for the prcsi-
dcncy more than twelve years after
ward-twelye years of culture and he
velopement to him-who were surpris-
ed TO find his messages grammatieaale
constructed and who suspected the IN
tervention of n secretary whenever any
touch of elegance appeared in his
writings"
Mr.. Mcpherson says that there were
men of cultivation who seemed duns-
founded when some of Mr.. LincOius
speeches were given to them to read Is
refutc their assertion that he was an
illterate boor, and some OF these
could not believe that Mr. LincoiE
could or did write these speeches.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27

~ he nltis met IN full force at Kle-
burg, or Hickory Geek, last night TO
organize u club. Barry Miller went
out from Dallas 10 make them speech
S. III. Grantham and S. p. Morris went
along TO see if word might be spoken
for the pros and it was agreed to give
them one hour, providing Barry open
and close. Barry opened with an
hours speech.
Morris followed and spoke fifty
minutes, leaving only ten minutes for
Mr.. Grantham. He put in his ten
minutes, however, and Miller closed
with twenty fve-lninutc speech.
The aniis went into an organization
by clec;ing James Tucker chairman
and young man mot votcr) secrc-
tary. Several ladies joined the club,
and a number of boys, and the anti
club from Reilly Prairie being pres
ent had their names enrolled as men,
bers of that club also. BY this means
their membership ran up to %. 1t is
estimated, however. that at least halt
of them are not voters. 1t was given
out at the meeting that r. f. Burk,
of Dallas, would address the prohibi-
ton club at Riley Prairie tonight,
and it is expected that a large crowd
will be out to hear him.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
A Convenient Excuse.

One beauty about the new scheme oil
executing criminals by electricity Il
that it gives the family chance tc
dodge the issue by saying that the hus-
band and father had been struck by
lightning. This is a much more gen.
teel way of abiding to such n catastro
phe than to say John was hung. y
CratUf ordSuiLie Journal.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
GEN. STANLEY AND SOLDIERS.

PARIS, Tex, May s7.-The Board of
Managers of the interstate drill received
message from Gen. Stanley saying that
the Eighth Cavalry Band. the light ar
tillery and two companies of regulars
would leave San Antonio. June 4, to take
part in the encampment here. The citi-
zens are all in high glee over the good
news, for within the last three or four
days there had sprung up slight mis-
understanding between the Board Of
Managers and Gen. King. All this has
been adjusted to the entire satisfaction
of the people of Paris; and now that
Gen. Stanley and his troops will be here
there is every reason to believe that Paris
will be crowded during all the jubilee
week. The invitation committee is busy
sending out season tickets to all the
members of the press, and should any be
overlooked they viii be furnished passes
on arrival here.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
Her True Sphere.

Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland maj
be felicitated on having left journalism
and entered the only other profession
which is more useful TO the world-thal
Of teacher. The writing of poems. es'
says. and editorials is inferior in oppor
tunity for cool to the position of edit
ing the undevcloped and unframed hu
man mind. 49, Washington Post.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27

The protracted meeting in the East
Dallas church is progressing with in.
creasing interest. Services every day
at $50 p. IN. 1t is likely that tho
meeting will continue for several days
yet, and if the rain should interfere
with the services tonight, they will be
resumed tomorrow.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27

IIo''i rlo' "H ~ "Vutu t"NO YIN fV"Fv
to settle me than 1t does that fctch-tale
ed state commerce bill. Hand me the
round one. Puss. All, Lord" she add.
ed, when she had settled herself, show
much yore pore father did think O. SIGH
pies, but he's gone"
A tear rolled across tho face Of the
pie and fell on the floor. -Arhdnsau
irareler
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
Gambling.

Harry Demmicll and John Norton
were again before Recorder Brown
this morning, charged with gaming.
Their cases were continued. There il
a disposition to treat these gentlemen
with much lenicncy. 1t is understood
they are going to promise to reform.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1887-05-27
Four ACES Are Grander.

"Charlie!" she called across the c<r,
aid you ever see king?"
''Of eourse." replied the young man.
"And We're thev grand?'
Not yery-nO, near rs grand as too
aces De!f9n Tree Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
The ButtOnhOling Bore.

The buttonholer is an arch fend.
Just make an engagement with friend
at a particular time, and when you
know he is impatient of the least delay,
and step briskly out ef your office and
60 Waiting down street. Just as you
turn the corner q buttonholer looms up
in smiling majesty just ahead. Too
late to turn back, no chance to avoid
him, and in sheer desperation you un.
dcrtake to turn aside in another direc-
ton. You glance hurriedly at him and
he catches your eye, and bcckons with
his hand and cries: "Hold on minute. y"
Then he transfxes you with that fatal
finger. You wriggle and squirm and
writhe, and make inappropriate answers
to his assertions, agree with him when
he desires you to dissent and dissent
when he wishes you to side with him.
Ten minutes after you have rendered
yourself hopelessly nervous from anxiety
you look at your watch and find that you
are five minutes behind your engage
ment.
"Well, I must be going; goodbye,
old boy" he cries: 81 have an engage
ment- All. say, have you heard, etc.,
etc."
You make wild dash for liberty, and
in your wake comes the yell:
"Just a minute; mother thing I want
ed to ask you about" and you resign
yourself with that peculiar disheartening
resignation that doubles a man up when
he sees train move off just as he rounds
the corner two blocks away.-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
Not That John.

He was having his fortune told.
II see," said the medium, contracting
her eyebrows and turning her toes in, II
see the name of John"'
"les," said the sitter, indicating that
he had heard the name before.
1.-THE name seems to have given you
great eat. dse Of trouble"
s'This John is an intimate friend"
"That's so," he said, wondcringly.
"And often leads you to do things you
are sorry fer"
"True; every word"
"His influence over you is bad"
"Right again"
sBut you will soon have o serious
quarrel, when you will become es-
ranged"
'i'm glad of that. Now spell out his
whole name"
The 'mee.um'' opened one eye and
studied the face of her sitter. Then she
wrote some cabalistic words aud handed
it to him in exchange for her fee.
s'Do not read it until you are at home, "
she said solemnly. ut is your friends
whole name"
When he reached home he lit the gas
and gravely examined the paper. There
he read in picket-fence characters, the
name of his ''friend:''
sDemi-J i-John!' detroit Free Press.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
Theodore Tilton and Fred. Douglass.

Fred. Douglass and his wife have been
in Paris this winter-for that matter,
may be there still--and have received
much polite attention from section of
the American colony there. Douglass
and Theodore 1ilton had been friends in
the old days, and naturally they went
about a good deal together, now that
tn y were met sgain. The two heavy,
large featured, distinguished looking
men, with their massive heads of white
hair, attracted very general notice on the
boulevards. Que day they dined together
at a restaurant, and talked together for
a long time. A Frenchman sat near and
watched them attentively. A day or two
afterward Mr.. Tilton came alone to this
cafe. The Frenchman, after some hest
tation, approached him and politely
asked permission to put question. Mr..
Tilton said: "Certainly, if you will
speak slowly, for my French is still very
imperfect" Then the stranger said {:
"When I saw you and your brother to-
gether here, although I could, of course,
understand nothing that you said, made
up my mind, from the refined modula-
tion of your voices, that you must both
be orators. I should like to ask if In
England it is usual to have two brothers
so equally gifted and experienced in pub
lie speaking."- London Letter.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
Pleasant fer the Critic.

You know the man who always wants
your opinion of him or something he's
done, the candid truth, and then quar-
rels with you for giving it to him. lie
has various methods, but this is one OF
the neatest rve ever heard for a long
time for judicious hint. A celebrated
artist in New York had just finished a
picture. Artists don't like so be adver-
Yised. 1t is for love of art they paint,
and they are hurt if their name gets into
the newspapers favorably. That, how
ever is a universal failing. The picture
had been on show in his studio in q pri-
vate way, and the painter called upon
the art critic of big New York daily,
an old friend of his. He found him very
glad to see him, of course.
'I want you to come and take look
at my new PICTURE" said he. sits just
finished"
"I'll be delighted, certainly"
"rve only one thing to ask. We've
been close friends for years, and, Of
course. that may influence you. BIT I
don't want it to. I want you to lay
aside all recollection of our friendship;
look upon me simply as painter, who
has painted a picture. I want you to
come to my studio, and give me q cool
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
MORE WORDS OF PRAISE.
Rhsun.asism Blood Disease sntsrely cured
ROCHESTER, April !, 1885.
To tho Pardss Aedicins Co.,

RoCHEsTER, April J., 1oos'
To tho Pardey Kedieins Co.,
GENTs:-Allow me to say few words
in praise of DR.. Pardee's Rheumatic
Remedy; and If what I have to say will
induce others who are afflicted with neu-
raIgia OF rheumatism to use it, shall feel
that have been the means of doing some
little good to my fellow men. December
q, 1885, while at work in the shop, was
taken suddenly with sharp, piercing pains
and was compelled to leave the, shop
The next morning I was unable to rise
and I grew worse daily although l was
under the best medical treatment. But /
obtained no relief until I began using
DrSPardee's Remedy, which I did March
17h, and after using it three days, could
walk about the house. I continued to
use it and improved rapidly every day.
I am now at work and entirely free from
pain, and have gained five pounds In
weight, but I shall continue the remedy
until feel sure tho poison Is out OF my
blood, for I am certain that rheumatism
is blood disease. You are ct liberty to
use my name or refer anyone to me, for l
shall be only too glad to recommend it to
anyone who is suffering as was. know
it will cure any case of rheumatism, II
used rs directed.
am, very truly yours,
GEORGE DOANE.
Foreman at Goodger & MAYORS shoe
factory, 65 South st. Paul street; resi-.
dence, 6 Griffith street.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
The Scent Of Hunting Dogs.

Some curious facts in relation to the
scent of sporting dogs were told me. On
first lighting the quail, for example,
gives out no scent, and on one occasion
Mr.. Popes setter could not for some
time find bird which had dropped, but
actually stcpp:d on it before becoming
aware of its presence. The dog could
smell the tracks of the running bird, but
was unable to smell the bird itself. AS
Illustrating the intelligence of an expe-
rienccd hunting dog, Mr.. Pope's expert
ments are interesting. To get picture
of a setter in the act of pointing he tied
live quail to a tree; but, though two
dogs were taken, one after another,
neither of them would point" He
then brought out pup who had never
been shot over, and it ut once pointed to
the bird. The greenhorn would do what
the old dogs would not.-BoSton Post.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
A Scots Device.

It is related of successful Glasgow
merchant that, sightseeing in Paris
once, he lost hi, way. For consider
able time he wandered about trying to
find his way back. 1t got late. lie could
speak no French, and his Glasgow-Eng-
lish only brought a smile and shake of
the head.
80 for body wi a guild Scotch
tongue in their head" he sighed.
Then came "happy thought" BY
signs he bought the basket, measure,
and berries of trim French woman,
and, shouldering the stock in-trade, went
along the streets yelling:
''Fine erossetts, bawbee the pint; !;
fine grossetts, q bawbec the pint"
The crowd laughed at the mad Briton,
but the familiar cry soon brought some
Scotsmen on the scene, and the merchant
was able to retire from business, and
smoke his pipe in the bosom of his
family, thankful that he had found leal
Sco:smen in his holr of need.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
The Yankee Farmers RetOrt.

When Mr.. William Atkinson, the
farmer philosopher of Somerset County,
was about to start on his mission to
Quebec, in the interest of the Wiscasset
and Kennebec Railroad scheme, he said
to Governor Bodwell: 'Mr. Bodwell,
had 1 better put on tall hat and slick
up, or go just as I am, in this woolen
shirt and paper collar"
"Go lust as you are," replied Mr..
Bodwell. "It isn't the clothes we want
to send, but the man under 'em."
So Mr.. Atkinson wore his everyday
clothes to Quebec. And at Augusta,
Tuesday, in his flannel shirt and paper
collar and slouch hat, this wonderful
man, with head more crammed with
miscellaneous facts and odd conceits
than any other head in Maine, entertained
me greatly with an account of his stay
in quaint old Quebec. he told me how
he dined with the titled aristocracy OF
the city and handed their fine ladies out
to dinner, in his flannel shirt and paper
collar-how he discussed poetry and
scenes in foreign lands with the literati,
and astonished the doctors of divinity
with what he had picked up about the
ology. Mr.. Atkinson is man with an
iron memory. He can quote passages
from the poets, tell you the date of
any historical event, or demonstrate u
problem of Euclid with equal facility.
He acquired it all sitting on the dye-pot
by the fire-irons of his mothers kitchen,
and by burning the oil of night in his
own farm library. The mental posses
sions of the Maine farmer, in his flannel
shirt and paper collar, must have taken
by surprise the learning of university
filled ,uebec.
But the best part of Mr.. Atkinson's
narrative was his dramatic story of his
visit to the citadel.
can o1icer," said he detailed man
to show me around, and he took me
everywhere. Noticing small black can
non, half hidden by the snow, as I was
about to 60, l said in fun: i guess I'll
take it away with me- ,"
"'Go look at the inscription on the
breech. said the soldier. laughing"
~ looked and read:
"Taken at the battle of Bunker Hill,
June II, 1775."
II saw the soldier had me. 1t stirred
nv blood and I wanted to make fit re-
ply. I read the inscription over again
to gain time. Tears came to my eyes.
Young man. l said to him, you've got
the cannon, but we've got Bunker Hill. ."
Lewiston Journal.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16

the necessary forms of bust,
ness in applying for and re-
ceiving free property, and the
names are published without
consultation and merely to
represent the number who
received Orange Grove tracts
free, at our hands, in one days
business.
N. MCCAIN, Tyrone. Pa
salem hiISi AiIl' ScheHiey. Pa
T. Murphy, Huntington. w. Va
]. n. BaItresser, Middlet'n, Pa
w. L. Colyin, Beatrice, Neb
Frank A. Smell. Ansonia- CT
4. Jarrett. Hutchinson. h'nn
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
Hard Money.

During the war the genial, fun loving
DR.. T. G. Boulware, now of Butler, Mo-,
and who by the way enjoys joke
whether at his own or another's expense,
was surgeon in the Confederate ser.
vice, and on duty at Little Rock, Ark.
As he was needing pair of new boots
he decided to order them made, and
called on a city manufacturer for that
purpose. Having described what he de-
sired. he inquired the price, and the
shopkeeper said
sour charges for gettiug up such boots
will be $50 in Confederate scrip or $40
in hard money"
"All right" said the Doctor; '.you
may make and have them ready before
we receive marching orders. But, now,
remember your figures, $50 in Confeder-
ate scrip or SIC in hard money"
"Yes," )" rejoined the shopkeeper; ~
think We now both fully understand the
terms"
In due time the Doctor put in an ap.
pearance and was shown q fine pair of
boots, which upon trial proved to be his
ideal Of a fit. After discu sing their sat
isfactory. appearance, gond quality of
material, etc, he thrust his hand into
his pocket, drew therefrom his wallet,
and taking out $40 Confederate note,
coolly presented it to his shoemaker in
payment for them.
"Hhy, sir" said the astonished son of
St. Crispin, I told you the price is $50
in Confederate scrip or 80 in hard
money"
"And so understand it." replied the
Doctor.
"Lut," said the shoeman excitedly,
"you have paid me only SO, and that in
Confed, rate scrip. 1t is $40 if paid in
hard money"
"Cf course, did as you say" quiet
ly rejoined the possessor of the new
boots, land I further claim that have
fulfilled my part of the contract; for,
truly speaking, my friend, that Confed.
crate sc'ip is the hardest money I know
anything Of"
And politely saluting the bewildered
shoemaker, he trlumphantly marched to
his quarters. - Chicago Ledger.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
blooded criticism of the work. I've just
licked one fellow who said he diunt like
it."-.San Fancisso Chronicle.
Making a Horse Laugh.

VI aklnS horse Laugh.
s'Bet you a dollar l can make that
horse laug gh," said a man with white
hat as he patted demure-looking beast
on the flank.
"Does tie horse know you9" asked q
sad-eyed man, to whom the challenge
was addressed.
"Never saw him before in my life"
'.Is he the same as any other horsef"
"Just the same, so far as can see."
"Well, I'll have to go you dollar for
luck"
The man with the white hat passed his
hand over the nostrils of the beast, and
then stepped back upon the sidewalk.
A moment later the eyes of the horse be-
gan to roll, and then his upper lip shriv-
eled up so high that seven teeth sprang
into view.
See him laugh9" yelled the man with
the white hat as he danced Lancashire
step on the tagging. Tears leaped to
the eyes Of the horse and his respira-
tions came heavy and fast as he lifted
his head into the air and uttered hoarse
guffaw. q.
''Give me the money; I win the bet, !"
exclaimed the man with the white hat,
amid q series of wheeAes and snorts from
the laughing beast. The sad-eyed man
gave up his dollar and posed on. Just
as the animal was about to drop down
from exhaustion tue man with the white
hat pulled q blue bottle fly from his vic
TINS noStri S.
THAT makes 81 1 have won today"
he said, giving the horse congratula-
tory slap. "It's rather tough on the
critters, but a fellow must live, you
know. You can use fly for one expert
ment only, but when you have bottle
full. as l have here in my pocket, you
do not mind the loss. - Chicago Herald.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
uHera's the SOup,M

Mime. Miohan Calvalho was once play
ing in "Lucia di Lammermoor" in Mar
settles. The cantatrice had ordered a
restaurant keeper to send her basin of
hot soup at 9 o'clock. The hour came,
and with it girl Carrying the stars re-
freshments. The girl made at once for
the stage, and arrived at the wings as
madam was singing in the finale to
the first act. The next moment Ra-
venswood aud Lucia were astonished
by soup. .tureen being set down on the
mossy bank in front OF the fountain, the
cover lifted, and the intruder addressing
them, as she plunged a spoon in the
soup, with: "Begging your pardon, sir,
for interrupting you and the lady, but
here's the soup"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-02-16
Egypt's Mysterious Sphinx.

Between the sphinx and the edge Of
the Pyramid plateau vast space has
been cleared, thus bringing to view o
fine flight of steps some forty feet in
width. To the right of the sphynx a
further excavation is in progress, the re-
suit of which will probably confirm the
surmiSes of those who believe the sphinx
to stand in the midst of huge artificial
amphithcatre hewn out of sold rock.
This gigantic work would, of course, be
contemporaneous with the sphinx itself,
which Mariette attributed to the mythic
ages before the advent of Mcna, the first
King of the first dynasty.--LOndon
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