The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-12-29
BRIGHT BITS.

Few MEN ever attempt to drown their troubles
in water.-Boston Courier.
COURSE DINNER in a first-class hotel ought TO
be fine affair, of course. Hotel Mail.
WOMAN feels where man thinks" says a
writer. Yes, that is why man is bald.--PIck.
NOTHING worth calling good can or ever will
be started ll-grown," says Macdonald, and it
may be so, but how about a neeze?-JourndL
OF Education.
troll the laundry business Of far Western city,
we are told by an exchange, II should be called
an All Sindcate.-Pt,ck
ABOUT this season of the year you will notice
that the Eastern girl wears very jealous ex-
preston when she cracks her jokes about the
size of the Western girls stockings
vIsIron lin House of Representatives, to
guidef-lsn't it odd the House should have
blind cha ia n:
Guide-well no think not, sir. You see, it
has tendency to make the members feel more
at their ease,-Nel1 York Sun.
SHE had her picture taken and when the proofs
were sent home her sister Gypsy, ) years old,
was looking at one. She shifted It, turned up
her nose in a disguised way and said: "Oh,
Flake, how you must have Smet when you had
your picture taken" Flake, indignant: II
didn't" you must have; just smell of this. ~
NeU York tar.
''THE Judge then proceeded to charge the
jury read fdrs. McGudley from an account of
menced, as she laid down the paper. ITO thiuk
of TAX ng those men away from their business
and settn them down to listen for days and
days to all sorts of talk from the witnesses and
then charging them for it. It's an outrage, so
it is. Merchant Traveller.
PAPA, what is a confagrations" st is a big
fire, my SON. And what do they call little
fireyn There is no special name for little fire
Oh. they sometimes call it an incipient fire. and
let's see-well, il is sometimes called an in
considerable fire" Why?' well l see your
coat tail is on fire and was wondering whether
1t was conflagration or an incipient fire." In
few minutes the Young man had reason to
think it was contiag ration Chicago Netos.
BUFKISs was very pious, very fond of the
ladies', and very bald on the back of his head.
The other evening he was calling on a Con
necticut avenue girl and was giving her great
deal of church talk.
.Ah, Miss Charlotte, - he said, we are watched
over very carefully, Even the hairs of our
head are numbered"
Yes. Mr. Bufkinsn she replied with deem
enthusiasm, ''but some of the back numbers of
yours appear TO be missing. ~ Washington
Critic.
"ARE you Interested in the newest discoveries
in science and the inventive arts:' asked Mr.
Knowall of Miss De Pork Chicago girl
''Oh, yes, indee1!" she replied enthusastically
Il am so interested in everything of that sort
Why. do YOU know that when my papa first
went into the pork busin he had to Kill all his
pigs by nand one at a time; and it was DIRE Adful
tiresome, site King 800 or 400in day. But now
he has machines that simplify and beautify the
work, so that that they kill and scald and scrape
and cut up thousands in day at his pork pack
in sparlors, as you would say in Boston, and
tine work is done beautifully. You must go
with me and see it some day; it's just lovelyi'-
| Plfek z