davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
HUMOROUS.

A lady's jacket is certainly not coat of male.
 Pencils are sometimes lead, but tho pen has to be driven.
 It is curious, but man is called . faster when he goes slow on food.
 "I am gaining flesh rapidly" as the thief remarked when he ran away with ham. .t
 There is one branch of labor which must always be done by hand--picking p. ckets. M A man may talk and talk and not be 1 bore if he talks to you about your l good points. ...s
 The first few months of happy honeymoon, l Trey bill and coo awhile; then coo and bill short time after that, but all tpo soon.
 The c-oing disappears-'tis now all bill. l A Michigan woman kicked a bear to death few days ago, and now her hus- band never contradicts anything che says. ny
 A boot and shoe shop hangs out tho | sign: Cast iron lasts" We all know it does, but we don't want any boots made of it.
 A poet asks: "What is it makes tho monday air so strong9" We'll, perhaN tue wife has been boiling cabbage cr some thing like that.
 It is said that women dress extrava- gantly to worry other women. A man who dresses extravagautly generally worries his tailor.
 Pretty miss, looking into 8 dudes palm: "Your hand is very soft. You are either barber or gambler. can't tell just right away" N
 An experienced philosopher and sportsman observes that it is easier e lug heavy shotgun ten hours through an impcnetrable swamp than to put up . clothes line.
 Young Mau-I love your daughters sir, an would like to make her my wife. Fath.r-What are your pros poets? Young man-I think they'll he pretty good ifyou'll say yes. s
 X scientific writer tells how water can be boiled in a sheet of writing paper. We don't doubt it. We have Known man to write few lines of | sheet of writing paper that kept him in hot water for three years.
 ''If you continue this vagabond lift, sternly remarked an old farmer to . tramp, ''youS will find yourself in ths toils." Don't use that awful word, k said the tramp with shudder of die gust. "What words" '.Toils. I am . mau that never tolls and never means to.
 Men are strange creatures. They wil waste an hour hunting collar button instead of having an extra supply and letting their wife find the missing one. You never sec woman look for tho pin she drops. Her husband finds it wher he walks around in his bare feet.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
Too Much for the ApacheS.

"rhey tell nc a funny story about Geronimo" said man from Arizona at the Palmer House yesterday. "While the Apachcs were raiding the ranches in tho foot hills of New Mexico they cap. tured white man who had false teeth, glass eye and cork leg. The unfor- tunate fellow was dragged into tue hills where the Indians were encamped and strapped to tree to die. Just before dusk Geronimo happened to pass tho prisoner, who had succeeded in relcas- ing one of his arms from the leather strap which bound him to the tree.
 "Ush!" gruntcd the big Apache chief, punching the white man with the muzzle of his Winchester.
 "The prisoner thrust his fin gers into his mouth, removed his teeth, ssnd shook them in tho face of the Apache. This done, he replaced the plates ss quickly as he had removed then, and plucking out his glass eye, began pol ishing it on his knee. Geronimo had seen good many things in his life, but the sight of man removing his teeth and eyes at will was enough to make the savage's hair stand on end. Without waiting to strip the prisoner of his clothes, as was their custom, the Ara- ches released tho nervy fellow, and, putting him astride horse, fairly begged him to leave the camp. The settler needed no second invitation. seizing tho animal by the mane, he rode q few rods out into the opening. when, tc the horror of the savages who had been watching his flight, he pulled off his cork leg and waved it above his head. It is said on good authority that this i the first instance on record where thu superstition of an Apache got the better of his knife '- CRicngo Uercld.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
TOmmy's Que stiOn.

Two business men, sitting one eve ming at the home of one of them, dis. cussed the prices of merchandise owe, the evening paper, and one of them read: "There can be no doubt that the prices of general merchandise, as we'll as of coal and provisions, will con- tinue to decline, and that the bottom has not yet been rcached." At this point little Tommy, who had been lis tening as if he expected to hear some. thing of interest, broke in. ''Papa, y said he, "docs the paper say anything about whether you can get two top strings for cent''
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
X TERRIBLE CRIME.
The ScandaIous Story of the Mich-
 igan Woods Confirmed.


 LANSING, Mich, Jan. 2I.-Before tbe House Judiciary Committee of the Michigan Legisla- ture Representative Breen, of Menominee, confirmed the charge that there has been & regular trade in young girls between Milwau- kee and Chicago and the mining regions of the Upper Peninsula. Mir. Breen said that the horrors of the camps into which these girls are There is no escape for the poor creatures. In one case girl escaped after being shot in the leg and took refuge in a swamp. Dogs were started on her trail and she was hunted down and taken back to the den. In another case, Q girl escaped while dance was going on at the shanty into which she had been lured. After several days and nights of privation sho made her way to an island near the shore in Lake Michigan where 8 man named Stanley lived. But the dogs and human bloodhounds traiIed her, Stanley was overcome and the girl was taken back. The law now provides for in- prisonment of only ono year in case of convic- tion of any connection with this traffic, and it Is proposed to amend it.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
CI,nMinm CanalLaaYes.

The natives al P I'll chew the leaf oe the cocoa bush from which the cocain4 is extracted, and it produces in a modt- fed degree the same results as tho sus. phatc of cocaine when taken intcrnaltN reports of whose ravages appear iR tAe papers from time to time. The minee( of that country will not work unlo twice day for half an hour they o allowed to chew their rations of loAS6 and then they are ready to cndNsa
 hardship and work day and uiG, S They are absolutely enslaved by
 is said that anyone beginning to 0 N bound to be. 2SS
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26

little frightened heap in the snow oy the roadside unhurt, but Jack was stretched out, white and senseless, un-. der his sled by the side of the big rum ners of the log-sled. lI
 'The master picked him up and car : ried him to the schoolhouse. Then he sent for Jacks father, who was the country doctor. After Jack opened his eyes and knew any one he was carried home, and he didn't leave it all winter long. Hi, back was injured, so they said. The next spring he was able to go to school again, but he couldn't play with the other boys. His crutches were in the way, and no matter how much he whispered the master never whipped him. He never wanted to, either, for most every one loved Jack. He usedto sit with little~Phillis and they learned their lessons out of ne. During recess they would open me at the map of Europe, and murk out the trip they were going to take when they grow up and were married. They were going to Paris where Jack was going to be cured. Then they would live in Italy year or so on the banks of beautiful lake, and they would be 80 happy that they wouldn't care wheth- CT they had any money or not" ..
 "Wcll," observed Dickens, when the Geography paused moment to breathe, "did they marrys" ...... ''No." returned the other sadly. "The next year Jack died and was buried in the little churchyard behind the village church. Phillis's father preached the sermon at the funeral and the whole school put flowers on the grave. For a while Phillis was inconsolablc, but such grief never lasts very long, so rve learn cd, and before her school days were over she was just as cheery and much more l beautiful than ever before. was laid away years before she grew up--laid away very carefully-for Phillis never forgot the secrets that shared with her. But havn't seen her for years. I don't know really what has become of her. She brought me to this house with hel over in the old chest. l."
 At this moment the library door opened and there entered the mistrcs: of the house, slight, handsome woman, with a sweet face and silver hair.
 1T thou Int I heard a noise on the book shelves" she said, "but I don' see any thing there to make it now. Per haps it might have been a mouse. I'll look forit. Why!" she exclaimed, as she seized the old geography and drew it out of it's place, Chow did this dear ole book ever come down herea I though ! I had lost it years ago." Sitting down near the table she opened the we'll worn leaves. When she cam' across the old time map of Europe criss crossed by pencil marks, her face soft ened, and as she pended over to kiss tn soilcd and disfyurcd continent two tea drops were mingled with the blue water of the sea.
 II think" whispered Dickens to Mat thew Arnold, as he nodded in the direc tion of the old geography, "I think know, now, why the geography was kep so long,"
 "Yes," softly echoed the red-coate' line of Scott. "Yes; we think you do. -New York Graphic.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26

HENRY w. GRADY, of the Atlanta Constitution, who has so suddenly leaped into fame by his speech at the New England dinner, was asked day or two befoie tia dinner what he ir- tended to say in his speech. "Ths Lord only knows," he replied. II nave thought of thousand things to say, five hundred of which if I say they will murder me when get back home, and If I say the other five hundred they will murder me .pt the banquet.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
Agreeing to do His Best.

Young Winks. Dick, my boy. will your sister be home this cveningl
 Little D.ck. Guesso.
 It's only night or two since called, but I'd like to call again this evening if I thought she'd be home. Here's some candy for you, Dick.
 Thanks, awfu.ly.
 Now, Dick, want you to be Q good little friend of mine
 We'll, I'll be careful not to let hcl know you're coming. -Omaha World.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
Fiery.

"Win you have cigar, sirs" asked Thompson, offering aa old gentleman one.
 ''No, Mo-" replied the old gentleman, testily '1 never smoke."
 'eNo," said Thompson, Out l see you flare up occasionally. .-Ne,s Fork Sun.
Connecticut western news., 1887-01-26
Life Worth Liy.ng2

Is Life Worth Ltv.ngy "Is life worth livingi" Ask of him Who tolls both day and night To make little home for those So dear unto his sight. ''Is fe worth livingw Ask of her Who, crowned with widows weeis, Doth find supremest happiness In kind uni noble deeds. '.Is life worth livingf Ask again Of those whose highest aim Is to assist their fellow man, Without one thought of fame. Is life worth living?" Ah. dear friend, Let thess good people tell; A better question lar is this Is life worth living well:
 -CotunbUs Dispatch.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
The Hop Last Evening.

The commodious dining hall of the
Mcqueen House was the scene last
evening, of one of the most brilliant
and fashionable entertainments that
has yet occurred at this popular hotel.
The tables being removed, the floor
waxed. ill IL had the appearance Of
polished glass, the delightful strains
from the Fifth infantry band inspired
the thirty odd couple To trip the light
fantastic. Till the early hour of rosy
morn. The OCCASION. was a compli-
meniary hop rendered the ladies by II
number of gentlemen Of this city and
was participated in by the "~eiite" of
our society, and by n few Of the FASH
lonable rom the post, besides the
gents OF the hotel. A minute de-crip-
lion of the many elegant aud costly
costumes by the ladies is beyond
the power Of reperlorial pen but a cur
sorry glance revealed 10 Us Miss NJ. T..
Niedringhaus, attired in an elegant
cream satin. brocaded. diamond aud
earl ornaments; Mrs. H. l.. Niedriug.
haus, black, silk, black silk lace drap-
cry, diamonds; Mrs. Col. Malone,
black silk and jet; Mrs. j. NJ. Holt.
black silk, heavy jet; Mrs. Major
Logan, black silk and jet trimmings;
Miss Grace Logan, sky blue silk,
cream lace drapery, pearl ornaments;
Miss Randall, white tulle trimmings;
Mrs. Cox, cream silk, lace drspery, dis-
monds;M Miss Bissonette, blue silk, heavy
white lace trimming. The other ladies
were Miss Collins, Miss Watson, Miss
Strayer, Miss Moran. Miss Downey.
Miss Beatham, Miss McElrathv all in
much becoming dress, but space pre-
vents our mentioning same. Among
the gentlem, n were Messrs. .Niedring-
haus, H.. +. Bachelor, +. +. Batche-
lor. Dear, Collins, Tompkins, Rea,
Wiley, Weirick, Scully, Pickering,
McaGregor, Buster, Bunton, Maj.
Logan, Holt and others.
About midnight most de-
lightful "walK around and a sand
wich" was pariaken Of which was
served in Maj Macqueen's we'll known
hospitabel style. AT . o'clock the ia
miliar strains OF Home Sweet Home
reminded all Of the passing time and
approach Of dawn.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
In the whole Hideous Catalogue

OF Diseases, there we're none which, previous TO
the discovery Of IIostetfer's Stomach Bitters,
offered more formidable resistance TO the old
fashioned modes Of treatment than the group OF
maladies which, under the collective name Of ma
larial disease. afflicted entire communities that
suffered hopelessly. Chills and fever, dumb ague ague
cakeand bilious remittent we're once regarded as well
nigh incurable. Now il gladdens the hearts Of
thousands who reside in districts periodically sdb-
ject to the yisitations Of malaria, to feel certain that
In the Bitter they possess certain defense against
the scourge, a sure means Of expelling its poison
from the system. To the settler In the west, the
new emigrant thither, and to travellers and tourists
by land and sea, the possession Of this pleasant
safeguarn is q guaranty OF safety from diseases
which they mighty vainly seek from any other
source.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
A Fast Travelling Locomotive.

A novelty in the line of engine build
ing is just now attracting the attention
Of engineers and builders. It is a loco
motive designed by N. Estrade. graduate
of L'Ecole Polytechnique, which Is TO be
experimental with on the southern lines
of France. The new locomotive depends
on its large sized driving wheels for the
speed Of sevcnty-eight miles per hour,
which 1t is expected to attain. The en-
CINE, tender and coaches are fitted with
wheels eight and one-quarter feet in di-
ameter. The engine is of the outside
cylinder type, with slide valve on top Of
cylinder, and all the gearing carried out
side. The average speed which the loco
motive is expected to make is between
seventy-two and seventy eight miles per
hour with a train of loaded coaches.
OF course il the French engine aver
ages the speed expected she will be able
to make ''spurts'~ exceeding anything on
record.-Boston Advertiser.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
what true Merit wiz Do

The unprecedented sale Of Boschee's
German Syrup within a few years, has
astonished the world. 1t Is without
doubt the safest and best remedy ever
discovered for the speedy and effectual
cure Of coughs. colds and the severest
lung troubles. 1t acts on an entirely
different principle from the usual pre-
scriptions given by physicians, as it
does not dry up a cough and leave the
disease still In the system, but on the
contrary removes the cause of the
trouble, heals the parts affected and
leaves them in u purely healthy condi-
ton. A bottle kept in the house for
s when the diseases make their ap-
pesrance, will save DOCTORS bills and a
long spell Of serious illness. A trial
will convince you Of these facts. 1t Is
positively sold by all druggists and
general dealers In the land. Price, 70
cents, large bottles.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Poisonous Bites and stines.

For the treatment of poisonous bites or
wounds made by insects, an eminent
physician and lecturer advises rs fol-
lows:
Apply h~artshorn, cologne water or vim
egar directly TO the wound. A poultice
OF ipecac has been recommended for the
same purpose.
This is all the treatment that Is needed
for bites Of wasps and bees. Sometimes
q person may be stung by a great many
bees or wasps at once. In such cases
fainting may be produced, and the pa
tent will need internal stimulants, harts-
horn, wine, brandy, or some liquor.
Poisonous wounds made by spiders,
centipedes and scorpions are treated in
the same way as those made by insects,
that Is, by the direct application Of harts-
horn 10 the wound, and when necessary,
internal stimulants. Boston Budget.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Major had kindly volunteered to es.
cort Judge McBride's family 70 the
train In the absence Of the Judge. The
mistake was not learned until to-day,
rs In the commotion occasioned by
the arrival and departure of the train
the reporter missed Major Grover and
then took things for granted that were
not,
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

A neighborly rancher, Harvey Bens'
lay, presented the JOURNAL with sew.
eral fine watermelons yesterday and
also left on exhibition at this office O
number Of stalks of mammoth corn,
with splendidly developed ears eigh'
teen inches long. Agriculture has re-
ceived great advancement In THU
country by the propitious season.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Watson's new goods for the fall trade
are now In, and he Is anxious TO sell.
You can't find in town a better line Of
dress goods; you can't find a newer
style Of trimmings; you can't find any
better quality; you can't find lower
prices. Come In and see us. We are
glad TO show goods.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Artistic arrangement aud decoration

Artistic arrangement aud decoration
of show windows is a gift amply pos.
sessed by Jack Cottier, the dry goods
clerk in Conrad's store. Jacks latest
work in this line is the handsome dis
play of house furnishings in the cor
ner window. which presents the APP
pearance of a msgnificently uphol-
stored boudoir, lace curtains. etc.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Tho Landlords Explanation.

"Look here" said an irate guest at a
summer resort, ''your circulars say there
are no mosquitoes here, and last night ]
was nearly eaten up by them" There
were no mosquitoes here when that cir
cular was prepared, I assure you, sir"
replied the hotel keeper. ''And when
was thatf' about the beginning Of
February : Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Laundry Changed Hands

l have this day bought the laundry
heretofore run by Young Sing on
Bridge street. and will pay any In
debtedness contracted by him prior TO
the publication Of this notice, II claim
is presented before 4 o'clock Monday,
Sept. 10, 1857. WONG SING. y
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

The wallopiug administered on Sun.
day last by the Helena base ball club
to the champions of the north Pacific
coast-wbo claim not to have been
beaten in twenty ~years-leads one to
the conclusion that they have played
but few games during the past two de.
radas
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

II was not Major Growers family
that went west last night, as errone.
ously stated, but the family Of neigh
Dor, Judge Mcbride, who is now in
business in Helena. Major Growers
family are visiting in the east and the
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
In to-morrow,s issue of the .JouRNAI

In to-morrow's issue of the JOURNAL
will be given a review Of the develop.
ment OF the public school system in
this and contiguous districts, from the
creation of the county Of Custer. Also
a list of teachers employed during the
ten years past and a short sketch of
the principal OF the Miles City schools
and his assistants for the school year
lust begun.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

The county commissioners proceed.
ings Of the quarterly session occupy
the majority Of our space this morn
ing but will prove of interest to tax
payers of Custer county.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Rev. II. 4. Bond has returned To the
mission at the Crow agency. During
a short stay In Miles Mr.. Bond made
numerous purchases for the Indian
children Of the mission school.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Millinery Opening.

Mrs. l.. G. Warner wishes TO inform
the ladies of Miles City, that she will
open to-day at Miss Kinsey's old
stand, a new and carefully selected
stock OF millinery goods purchased on
her recent trip to eastern markets.
The ladies are invited to call and in.
spect the new tall and winter styles.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

County Attorney Milburn has re-
turned from a professional trip to the
Powder river cattle company's ranch
near the Wyoming line.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

MI. Abram Hall left last night for
Athens, Ill. He is also going to take
In the national encanpment Of the q.
A. r. at 81. Louis.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Mrs. Warner, who succeeds Miss
Kinsey in the milliner, business, an.
nounces an opening to-day, to which
the ladies are invited.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

ARE YOU MADE miserable by In.
digestion, Consumption, Dizziness,
Loss Of Appetite, Yellow Skin? Shi.
loh's Vitalizer is a positive cure. For
sale by w. Il. Savage.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

THE REV. GEO. H.. THAYER, fc
Bourbon, Ind, says: both myself
aud wife owe our lives TO SHILOH's
CONSUMPTION CURE For sale
by w. II. Savage.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
CALL 4NDSETTIE.

We request all who are owing nc.
counts TO the late firm OF Moran, Col
Inns Il Co., to call and settle without
delay, we must insist upon this as we
are about 10 leave the territory. j. S.
COLLINS IL Co., Miles City, Mont.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

New cloaks, shawls and street jack
cts at Watson's.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Girl wanted-for general house
work. Light work and good wages.
Apply at the JOURNAL Office for fur.
ther particulars.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

The legislature adjourned Wednes-
day noon.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Wanted.

A competent woman to cook and dc
general homework on a ranch, for q
email family. Enquire at this Office. .
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

NoNSk trife with any Throat or
oSN Lung Disease. II you have
a Cough or Cold, or the children are
threatened with Croupor whooping Cough,
use Acker's English Remedy and prevent
further trouble. II Is a positive cure
and we guarantee II. Price 10 and 600
John Wright, Druggist.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

WHY WILL YOU cough when
Shlloh's Cure will give immediate re.
lief? Price 10 cts, so cts. and 81. For
sale by w. Il. Savage.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

Western Montana reports two re.
voting crimes on Monday, murder
and outrage.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

MI. and Mrs. H. l.. Me dringhaus
departed for Helena on this mornings
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
THE DAILY JOURNAL
NILES T MONTANA.
Arrip0f of Tratus.

90. I, West Bound, Due nj Miles City 1905 m
No 2. East Bound, Due at Miles City :s = IN
The mail Is closed 1t 7:So o'clock, p. N.
Psstoehoe 10 open from . 10 10. Q. m. Sundays,
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15

SHILOH'S CATARRH REMEDY
"A positive cure for Catarrh, Diptheria
and Canker Mouth. For sale by W.
L. Savage.
Daily Yellowstone journal., 1887-09-15
Notice.

All persons who are indebted to DR.
Green are notified to settle at once. .