Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1887-12-24
Manuscript Rejected at all Places and by
Every Editor-A Mysterious Stranger and
the Help He Gave to the Bard-The
Fight Against Time and the Landlord.

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There may have been dismal-looking chaps
at the morose end of unhappy extremity, but
never such a ilapidated-looking being as this
one, as he sat upon a wretched couch and
gazed wonderingly heavenward.
He was one of those unfortunate creatures
whom nature had endowed with refined sem
sbilities and the super-sensitive sympathies
which may only be expressed in verse;
One after another of his illusions had he
completed and sent abroad to the sanctum
Argus, only to have them returned to him-if
he inclosed stamps for that purpose-until one
might think that the return of MSS. had be-
come such an usual affair that he would
adjust himself to it somewhat.
But no-he thought as much of these chill
dren of his brain as the more successful ex-
amples of literary parentage. Indeed, more,
for our MAIN and cripple enlist the affections
to greater degree than the hale and hearty.
He had pawned all the available articles in
his possession, and would have parted with
his coat in the same manner, had there not
been several disheartening objections to such
proceeding foremost among which were
the liabilities to arrest for parading the
streets in his shirt sleeves, nnd the certainty
of exposing to the jeering crowd the Sc
dentary portion of his trousers which con-
tinual use had abraded into the shred and
ravel of d, struction.
As | said, he was gazing heavenward-
this proceeding was possible from the fact
that he dwelt directly beneath the skylight.
Very likely he had determined that if there
was no other way of splicing his verses with
the attic flavor he meant to see what virtue
there was in proximity to rafter and sky
light.
Still he drew the small table toward him,
and gazed at sheet of paper spread thereon.
"Let me see," he said, "what it was the
stranger gave me-"
As he had left an unappreciative sanctum,
that morning, he was accosted by vener-
able stranger who had been present during
that painful interview consequent upon re-
lection ofMSS.
"Young man." he said, genius is not APP
preciated, l perceive. Now, if you will de-
scend from the clouds and undertake little
matter for me that has mundane char
acter, l believe you will make more by
a few happy lines than you ever dreamed
possible. Take this paper home with you and
examine it closely. Write me few lines
in praise of the subject you find therein, and
the result will be advantageous to yourself"
And it was this paper at which the poet
gazed. "Ah! WE'LL" he said, "what must
ha no ~ a,,I
reflection he began:
"Once fellow named Magnus McGiffy,
Nearly turned from his pain to a stiffy;
Till the twinge and the rack
Were released from his back,
For st. Jacobs Oil cures in jiffy.
'There," he exclaimed, as he finished his
measure, ''that will answer for a beginning
by the bye, the stranger gave me bottle of
the mixture. I'll place it upon the table
before me; it may serve as an inspiration"
After contemplating the label attentively
for few moments, he ran his fingers
through his luxuriant hair, in the manner
of versifers, and as a result of the friction
dashed off the following:
"Once fellow who trod upon peels
Tired to walk in the air with his heels
But the pain when he dropped
Some St. Jacobs Oil stopped,
So he don't have to stand for his meals.
"Now, if l mistake not" he said, that
last effusion has dashing air aboutit. Now,
let me see what can do that has clever,
classic cast-ah there! Clever classic cast is
good. Now for verse that will measure to
the ALTERATION.
ial no nhp1 -
Till St. Jacobs Oil Bonus Jim Dandum-
Turned its malus rigorem
Into bonus vigorem,
So l say Quod erat demonstrandum."
Bang, bang Somebody knocks at the
street door.
sit is his crusty nibs, the landlord coming
for his rent, and l haven't blessed penny
about me. Haste, o MUSE, before the cur
rent of my thought is turned aside by his
gross presence. Here we GO:
'Once crank-sided chap, named O'Toole,
Got too near the butt end of mule
Till st. Jacobs provided
Ease, where he collided;
So he wasn't completely fool.
"Ho! he has entered. hear his plebeian
feet ascending the stairs below with painful
distinctness. Pay or go'-I know his ex-
acting phrase. Ali inspirationl
'Once larking, facetious young cub
Made Shakspearean pun at his club;
If you re after relief
For rheumatical grief,
St. Jacobs Oil-aye there's the rub
"He has reached the second lauding-I hear
his grumble. He must be intoxicated, for he
seems not to know the way as well as usual
All! he fails! Great heavens That set
ties tout 60" Then his muse was again
propitious:
Cried an Irshman-'Arrah, be aisy,
For me pains that wor drivin' me crazy
Are all gone, and be jabers
Oill be tellin' me Majors
That st. Jacobs Oils surely daisy
"Good A few more and won't care for
all the landlords in existence. He has
reached the next landing; | hear him
stumbling up the stairs; he gropes his way
no, no! Another one:
"Once a maiden's extravagant tussle
To adjust her fair form to bustle
Gave her spine such q tweak
That she howled for a week.
Till st. Jacobs Oil made the pain hustle.