Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1887-06-03
A NASAL N0CTURNE.
How 1t Created Discord in Two
4. Loving Hearts.

When the matronly but still attrac-
tive widow Winchester decided to give
her hand and the remnant of her heart
into the keeping of the much admired
and sought-after widowcr Browne, it
was after an exhaustive examination of
all that pro and con could offer. Pro
came out ahead by a large majority.
No children, n tidy property, good
looks, good health, good nature, and
very elegant manncrs-what more
could reasonable woman ask for?
And yet there was another point
which the lady would have given n
great deal to have had settled; for, af-
ter all, upon this point everything else
rcvolved. Did Mr.. Browne snorcP If
he did, then what were all the apparent
elegancies of manner, and charms of
dispositionp To her, the veriest rubbish;
because the person who could be guilty
of such practice must be natural
ly and irrcdcemably coarse and vulgar.
Mrs. Winchester believed that this con-
clusion was reached not only by strict
ly logical process, but, better still, by
the result of actual experience. The
cook who snored never stayed the sec
ond night in the widows house after
the damaging fact was truly establish
cd. Mrs. Winchester might have been
idiosyncratic, but she was just, and the
cooks oiGense had never been known to
be chargTl upon the waitress. This
lady had once sent away most accom-
plished trained nurse during n critical
illness, for this ineXcusable habit, and
the woman, thus ANONYMOUSLY ex-
PEELED, despised herself ever aftcrward
for rot having had the courage to say
to her patient that her own accomplish
mont in this respect could not well be
surpassed. More than one of Mrs.
Winchester's friends, anxious to pre-
servo shis lady's esteem, had kept awake
all night when invited to share her
pretty room, rather than run the slight
est ribk of forfciting her friendship; and
their testimony, in each case, was di-
rect confederation of the nurses, in
reference to the tuneful character of
Mrs. Winchestcr's respiratory organs.
But the widow kileU that she never
snored. She might not boast to others
of her innate dclicacy and exquisite re-
fnnment, her dainty bric-a-brac nature,
but had she not long ago laid down an
?damantinc proposition that such gilt
edged organizations could not snore?
The signs were all hopeful about
widowcr Browne, she told herself
His shoulders were broad, and his we'll
shaped head was poised upon them like
tho Apollo of the Vatican. His nose
was straight and patrician, like her
own, and so could not possibly act as
pipe for the communication of start
ling and disgusting sounds. Mr.. Win
chester had snored, and Mr.. Winches-
ter, though exceptionally refined in
appearance, had also sworn, and only
few days after the nuptial knot was
tied; and Mr.. Winchester had also
Clipped off some very substantial
chunks from his wife's brick of for
tune. More logic, more analogy, more
living experience. The reverse of the
proposition, that the man who swore
would certainly snore, was, according
to the widows reasoning, equally true.
But something must be risked, and
the comely widow, taking her own nose
rs the proper pattern of what high
toned, properly conducted nose, by night
rs wull as by day, should be, finally
accepted her ardent admirer. Once or
twice Mrs Winchester had been almost
tempted TO express the kecness of her
feelings on this subject to the gentle
man who aspired to be her husband;
but to talt about snoring, even, was so
manifestly indelicatc, that her super
sensitive nature shrank back, ashamed
and affrighted.
The period of happiness and tranquil
ity that followed the engagement was
rudcly broken in upon by sharp attack
OF malaria, and Mrs. Winchester was
ordered to the sea-shore fot two or
three weeks. Mr.. Browne was at first
inconsolable; but tho fair widow sent
him one of her enthusiastically elegant
little notes, for the first time informal
and SonGGhat aflectionate, and the
separation proved much less agonizing
than itmight have been, and for the
phenomenal cheerfullness of the woman
who never snorcd.
Mrs. Winchester was tri6e in adj
vance of the season, and for nearly n
week was the only guest at the pretty
little beach hotel. This solitude was
very agreeable to the fair patient; but
at last it was invaded by occasional city
stragglcrs, running down to see how
the ocean looked, and what the chances
were for engaging rooms, and, to cap
the climax, the apartment exactly OPP
poste the invalid's was occupied, and
by man who snored.
"Oh, nam, ms foine looking gintle-
man rs ye would wish TO clap your two
eyes upon" the chambermaid replied
to Mrs. Winchester's anxious inquiries.
"ThcrA's niver no danger of burglars
in this house, shurc."
''lIo might be n burglar and welcome,
that is, If he could bc'-the lady, logi-
cally consistent, made haste TO inter
polato--"lf he only wouldn't-wopldn't t
gssPIve through Als aosoI But he took