Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1887-09-07
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.

EVIL EFFECTS OF EUcHRE PARTY ON THE
aSwEET Erred HEAD OF THE
FAMILY.
Iwould not have the world get the i'm
preston that Mr.. Bowser is not kind
hearted and loving husband. True, there
are times when he is blunt-spoken and in
consistent, but there are other times when
he is an angel. For instance, he came home
the other day with very tender smile on
his face, kissed me in an unexpected and
vigorous manner, tickled the baby in the
ribs, and then exclaimed:
ssGuess what it is, Mrs. Bowser?"
.sWhat?"
"What's in this parcel"
! couldn't guess, and after teasing me
for q few minutes he put his arm around
me and chuckled:
SIT is for my popsy-wopsy -wifey, and
had 'em send to New York for it! Give me
"a kiss right on the chin?"
1t was lace collar, and the price mark
of $22 had been carefully left on it. tried
hard to keep a smiling face and not let him
see my disappointment, and 1 succeeded
pretty we'll. He had gone to. some estab-
lishment where they had put up job on
him. could have bought that same col
lar for five dollars when it was in style, and
now the style was two years DID, They
simply pretended to send away for it, and
they charged him twenty-five dollars under
the idea that he was some country widow
er. l felt like crying, but managed to
say:
Now, dear, how good and tn ught-
full of you! You are the best OF hus-
bands!'
"Of course am, my pet. Didn't mar
ry you for pure love? And isn't a loving
husband one of the best of husbands? We
are to 60 over to Sykof's tonight to pro
gressive euchre party, and got the collar
just in good time: You'll be the envy of
all the ladies. Hip-la! Nicest little wife
and prettiest baby in the world"
l wanted to get out of wearing that col
lar without injuring his feelings, and so I
sent mother down to exchange it. She
home one for four dollars which would do
very well, considering that I am plain
woman and never attempt any style. Poor,
dear Bowser couldn't tell the difference, but
when he saw me with it on he patted me on
the head and observed:
Gan ha! little sweetness, but may be I
haven't got tasle and don't know what be-
comes you! Now you look like lady!
Now you have some style about you! And
just remember that l selected that pat
ternr'
praised him and called him my dear
Bowser, and he went about the house look
ing SO happy that the cook finally came to
me and whisperingly inquired:
''Have you telephoned yet?"
"To whom-for what?''
''To the police!''
"What for?''
"To be on hand in case he becomes dan
gerous. Pm expecting every minute when
he'll give grand yell and rush for the axe
and chop us to piecesr'
"Why, Sarah, nothing ails Mr.. Bow
SER"
''Well, Ihope not-I hope not, but shall
leave the back door open and be prepared
to run. When some folks are ON the point
Of going crazy they smile and grin and act
up just as he is doing to-day"
As rule, when am getting ready to go
out with Mr.. Bowser he jumps up fcom the
supper table to give his boots three rubs
with the brush-to wallop his hair with the
comb for fifteen seconds-to rub his plug
hat on his elbow, and then to begin on me
with:
"Come. now, but we shall be -late
never saw how long it does take You to get
ready! I suppose you'd want to stop and
primp and paint and fix and look Just so
nice if you were going to be hungl"
This evening he took twenty minutes to
get himself ready, and then sat down to his
cigar and said:
''No hurry, dear! Take all the time you
want to. If we happen to be late I'll
telephone for coupe to take US over"
On the way over to Sykoff's Mr.. Bowser
put his arm around me, aud he kissed the
baby before we started and he said to the
cook as we went out:
"Sarah, if your John Henry comes around
this evening yon can open bottle of that
wine, and tell him I'll pay the preacher
when you are ready to be married.
would that could continue the record
of Mr.. Bowser's good deeds few hours
longer, but must stick to the truth. The
evening was not half over when observed
a change on his face and realized that
something was wrong. We had scarcely
left the house after the party broke up
when he gave my arm pinch and exclaim.
ed:
Now, then, want you to understand
that this is the last Internal euchre party
you will ever drag me off to-"
"Why, dear, what's the matter?'
Don't why dear me, for won't stand
IL! 1Ou lOUkcu llNo d UdSSWOOu SJlCk anu
felt like fool, and we had no business
goingr'
"But you wanted to CO."
"Oh! did Perhaps you are mind
reader! If so, you had better start out aud
run opposition to Bishop! You know 1
consented to come just to accommodate
you, but don't do it againv'
''But you we're SO good-natured all the
afternoon"
81 was, eh! Well, that shows all you
know about it, and 1 won't speak to you
again tonight
And he didn't 't.-Detr0H Free Press.
THE WEATHER AND THE CRoPs.-Wdsh-
ington, Aug. 2S.-Repofts indicate that the
rains during the past and previous weeks