Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1887-04-07
PETERS BEAR STORY.
He Hasa Theory That Animals Talk and he
Explains His Reasons with Illustrations.

He Hasa Theory That Animals Talk, and he
Explains His Reasons with Illustrations.
Forest and Stream.
ssDo animals TALK" repeated Peter.
sOf course they does. The deucidest
| funniest thing happened here last sea-
son, when / was in the woods all alone,
you ever heerd tell on.'
Now Peter liked to be coaxed, and so
after considerable urging he went
on as follows:
"Of course you fellows that git all your
larnin' out of books and who believe
nothing cept what you can explain,
won't believe word ont, but its just as
true as I'm sittin on this ere stump and
don't you forget it,"
"Well, as I was saying, I was here all
alone, and one day seq [ to myself. /
b'lieve I'll go and pick me pail of
rosbris was tarnal thick in the opUnin'
in the woods-lt was along in August, so
I took ny pail and started off. Ever
thing was going along monotonous like
I never did like PICKUP berries-till l.
got the pail eenamost full, when I heerd
something comm through the bushes,
and afore I'd had time to more than turn
round out popped big sleek black bear.
He'd bin berryin' too, and having got
my wind jist came around to see who /
might be. Well, as I hadn't no gun, and
as he kept a cummin' thought it were
best for me get to out % there, but be-
fore doing so-knowing the fondness of
the creeter for berries, and besides bein'
aware of his great bump of curiosity
set down the pail before takin' up the
line of retreat. Not hearin' of him com
in arter me / turned around when I'd
got up little hill, and sure
enough his nose was down in the
berries and short job he was making of
them, can tell you. 1t wasn't long afore
he got the last of them, but not bein' in
the habit of eating from pail the sweet
juice that lined the tin had stuck to his
cheeks, and SO when he riz up to go the
pail rlz too, as putty muzzle as you
ever seed In your life. Now everybody
knows how handy bear is with his paw
and as he didn't like SIGH an ornament
for his face and havin no furder use fol-
the pail, he riz his paw and gave it a slap
but as bad luck would have it the paw &C
cidentally hit the pail funk and sent il
hack over his ears and so held the thing
on tighter than eAer. I never laughed sc
in all my life, for stitch performance I'd
|
First one paw would come up and ther
the other; then he'd whack it agin tree
and then he'd plough a furrer in The
ground; but there the thing stuck Tighter
than ever. He was in for new ex
perience and no mistake.
"Why didn't GO back to camp and gil
my gun and finish him?" Why, it bea
all the circuses you ever thought of, and
,, do you suppose I'll spoil sech show fo
a little bear meat and a summer pelt
Well, all of a sudden, while I was watchin
the performance, off he bolted like chain
shot. Now bein' a little curious to know
how he came out of the scrape, took tht
train and follered him up after a little.
, found his home not far off on the tmoun
tains yender- If you don't believe it
can show you his very den. It seems
bruin had wife and several small chill
dren dependent upon him for support
; and when they seed him commin' in sucf
a plight they howIed a dreadful howl
The old woman tried her best to pull of
the pail, but to no purpose, SO finally sh,
made hina hold his nose in the hot EN-
bers of her kitchen fire till he'd melted
off the bottom of the pail, ant
afore I'd Enowed it the whole thing
had been showed back over his ears
and SO he was tricked out with a tin col
lar. But it was curious sort of collar
for bear to wear, for it read:
| Fifteen Pounus of Leaf Lard.
Warranted Strictly Pure.
| But Bruins trouble had only just com
, menced- He, like all other folks, had al
enemy, and enemies is allus waitin' fo1
something to turn up to put US ia tneil
I power. So this particular enemy haG
LII taI 40,
, false colors. In vain his lawyer put il
the plea that the wearin' of the collar
was an unintentional act, a thing tina
couldn't be helped. The lawyer on the
other side claimed it was clear case Of
fraud and Misrepresentation, and agir
the statute book for bear to call him
) self fifteen pounds of leaf lard, wheI
, there was nothing inside his pelt CORES
spending to it but BEARS lie! And sc
they took him to prison, a great deeI
cavern with a gig boulder to the outt
ont.
"But the strangest part of the story re
mains TO be told, for as true as I'm sittin
on this ERE stump, notwithstanding al
the guards they put over him, and the
security Of the prison, and the big boul
der and all that, the very next day he was
out ag IN, and nobody, not even the high
sheriff of the hull region, dare lay claw
on him.
/ GLOW was that, Peter? Please explain
the mystery" came from all the listen
ers.
] "Why, that's easy enough" said Peter,
with wink in his eye. He'd got bail,
and they couldn't tech him no more!"
How ingalls, Won His Wife.
Providence Star.