Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1887-05-14
INTER-OCEAN.
QUEEN KAP.
The Administration Sets Up tn,
Wine-She Wants Money.

islands, has been in the city during the
past week and has been entertained by
the administration. Secretary Lamar is
the only member of the cabinet who has
not been found worshiping before the
royal presence of her black majesty.
Kapiollni is a queen without a king.
She does not live with Kalakaua, her
royal husband. She is like the woman
with the iron jaw in a circus. She
talked the king almost to death. Hence,
they have separate palaces. Her maj
esty is trying to negotiate q loan on her
old kingdom. She will go to the jubilee
of Victoria for the sole purpose of nd
vertising herself and of being in condl'
ton to mortgage her realm. Either
England Or America ought to buy those
Sandwich Islands and relieve the poor
people of the onus Of supporting their
royal family. Secretary Lamar has had
a severe attack of neuralgia in the face
ever since Kapiolini has been in. town.
He will not permit it to be cured until
she leaves. His friends applaud him.
He will not worship a Niger, even
though she has an alleged kingdom
under her. He has not met with her,
not even left his room since she came
into the city. The president and the
other officials have wined and dined her.
Lamar is too much of Il partisan TO bel
snob like the rest.
The queen shed several large tears
over the tomb of Washington. She
said it made her feel real bad to come
here and see George lying in such a
miserable little brick deadhouse. She
showed architectural emotion. She is
right. The tomb of Washington is little
less than a national disgrace, 1t is IN
significant. Oak Hill cemetery has
scores of finer tombs. Kapiolini dcrid'
ed the tomb and wept for the immortal
George. Bless her.
At the state dinner which was given
at the white house in honor of her maj
esty of Erebus they say that this royal
descendant of the cannibals who ute raw
missionary one hundred years ago went
a little off her whlrl in the matter of
wine drinking. She called for that
(which biteth like a serpent and sting
eth like an adder" until her royal re-
quests were refused. A gentleman
highly connected with the state depart.
ment had to assist her serene highness
into a coach and convey her to the ho-
tel. She is fat and heavy and the gen.
tleman says he wants no more such
contact with royalty.
The secretary Of state has not been
hnwine in the nresence of her majesty
as much as the others have been. He
delegates all that snobbery TO his assis.
tants and his chief clerk. Bayard has
been obliged to see her and extend the
courte estes of the country to her, but he
has been with her as little as possible.
Great head, Bayard's.
The unwilling of the Garfield statute
on Thursday will be II of the most dis
reputable of affairs for the reason that
J. Warren Keifer insists upon being
there as the orator of the day and a dis
turbing element. He is not popular
with the Ohio people nor wittfthe Army
of the Cumberland and vas not invited
by the army, but by q very subordinate
subcommittee. He has been notified
that his services are not wanted, yet he
will be there and will insist upon deli,
erlng the grafton. There will be a grand
procession, but nothing like what was
intended. Several military com.
panies have decided not to partici'
pate in the meeting solely be-
cause Keifer is to speak. Any man Of
ordinary common ems would stel
down and out, rather than permit the
occasion of the unveillngof a Garfield
statue to he a scene Of wrangling. But.
Keifer is wrong headed and hard head
ed, and he will insist upon being q bette
moi, on this occasion. Gen. W. H. F,
Lee, Of the ex-confederacy, will be pres
ent and participate in the ceremonies Of
honor to the memory of the gallant
Union soldier, r~epresentive, senator, and
President Of the Republic, James A.
Garfield. General Lee has been request.
ed to deliver an Grafton, laudatory Of
Garfield, and he has expressed a willing.
ness to dc so; but not on the same plat.
form with Keifer.
Fifty cents is a small doctor bill, but
that sail it will cost you to cure any
ordinary case of rheumatism if you take
our advise and use Chamberlain's Pain
Balm. Everybody that tries it once,
continues to use it whenever they are
in need of a remedy for sprains, painful
dwellings, lame back, or sore throat. II
is highly recommended by all who have
tried 1t. Sold by c. o. Maloney.
Railroad Extension.
A report is in circulation, for which
Mr. Tair IF the Turt1e Mountain Timas