The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1887-10-26
Fun From the Pen Of the Genial H1morist
Robert ]. Burdette.
a RsmiBiacsnOs-Eggs That Tasta Little
Eggy-Ths COMPOUNDED Deacon.
a Minister Who Fails Only Whsn q, is
Tempted-Ths Tramp.
Not Last Weeks JOke-sOme Notes on
InsOmnia-Htnts for Sleepless
Men. Etc. Etc.
Especially written for the Sentinel.)
copyrighted, 1871

Especially written for the sentineL)
copyrighted, 1871
REMINIscENCE.
''What is that, mother
"Ths rink my child
The year il was built all the people went wild.
They crowded its walls, and to musie's glad
On furniture eastors they slid themselves round;
But the Fool killer cane, with his two handed
And he smote all the sliders, from graybesrd to
And the building so silent is used, as you see.
pany.
TOO WELL RECoNCILED.
my brother" said the pastor laying his
hand tenderly upon the shoulder of the
weeping man, 81 know not how to COM
fort you. You have lost the best aud
dearest friend in all this world, bu: the
Bible teaches you resignation" ''Nev-
err" howled the stricken postmaster,
springing to his feet-"neveri I'll hold on
to the end of my term, and you haven't
cot enough influence in your whole party
to put me out Don't come around talk
ing resignation to me-"
EGGS THAT TASTE LITTLE "EGGY."
Fresh eggs sre heavier than stale ones"
remarked 3 poultry journal. Not on the
human stomach they amt. We don't pro-
Tess to know much about hens, and man
who buys his eggs in town isn't supposed
TO know anything about eggs, but we do
know that after eating an egg that was
born some time during the war, a man is
apt to lie down and dream something like
DR.. Jekyli and Henry Hyde, whereas if he
confines his hen. fruit to the vintage of 'S7,
he has clear, approving conscience, and
wants to SIT at sunny window and sing
hymns.
THE COMPOUNDED DEACON.
Last Sunday morning Reverend Melchior
Wunwordmor, in his sermon, alluded to
s'the condemned anarchists when Dea.
con Heaanay got mp and walked right ont
OF the church. He said he had no more
sympathy for the anarchists than anyone
else, but he wasn't goin' to sit still and
hear q minister swear about them in the
pulpit"
PRODUCED By EVAPORATION.
George Gulp," said his friend warmly,
sis one of the salt Of the EARTH" ~ be-
lieve you" replied the other man; "he's
dry enough to be all of it,
LURED On TO RUIN.
Mr.. Readaloud picked up his morning
paper, glsnced at the headlines, and gasp
ed, Great Scotland look at this-'Anothe
Holocaust A Rotten Bridge From
Sleep to Death Thousands of Human"
He turned pale, sank into a chair, and
whispered, THAT is the train the children
were coming home on Read, read l can
not see" His wife staggered across the
room, picked up the paper, looked down
the column for names, and seeing that of
Lydia Drinkham, sole proprietor OF Bolts
Blood Remedv, smiled family, and fell
down dead on the floor. And the next day
the Daily Reposer lost one of its Oldest
subscribers and good advertiser.
STANDS ON ITS HEAD.
DR.. Leuf, in the Medical News says the
normal position Of the stomach is vertical
and not horizontal. 1t is always vertical
while at sea, we know; the only trouble is
that it is vertical with the wrong end up,
seventy-hve cent dinner and then gets Sea-
sick?
TOWNS THAT KEPT THE PROPHETS BUSY.
A minister Down-East took for his text
few Sundays ago Isaiah TX 3D. and then
preached on What l saw in Omaha" Do
you know, we always thought that Isaiah
had Omaha right in his mind about all the
time he was prophesyingP This is hard
lines on Council Bluffs and Sioux City,
but maybe some commentators may be
found who will favor those cities, unless,
indeed. Dakota should get onto the Re.
vision fret.
He FALLS ONLY WHEN HE rs TEMPTED.
Rev. Hugh o. Pentecost, of Newark, is
drink take it." For the soul OF me I
can't see anything very remarkable in that,
even in preacher. He would be fool to
take drink when he didn't want it. But
.Ren he does want 1t, that's the time TO
take it. Even donkey does that; and the
donkey can't be compelled to drink when
he dOesn' want to. So you see, my son,
there is the difference bet ween the man
and the donkey. ANY man, parson or lay
man, can do as the donkey, and take q
drink when he wants it, or even refuse to
take a drink when he doesn't want one.
But 1t takes man, my boy, to refuse a
drink when he wants it. And when he has
this control over himself he can practise
louder and more in day than the Rever-
end Pentecost can preach in year.
.sCRATCHED, sNATcHED' AND PATCHED.
1.-THE barbed-wirs fencs,' remarked the
tramp in the orchard, as he ceased from
swearing for the purpose OF inspecting the
seat of wore, sis cussed 'em more dis
honored in the breeches than the oasery-
anee."
NOBODY GETS HURT THERE.
"Where Is the safest place during cy-
clone?p asks Herbert lawson, of Hiawatha.
Well, we should say Mississippi duelIing
ground. Herbert. That seems to be about
the safest place in the world all the rest OF
the year. and we don't see why a cyclone
shoald;dlsturb ii any more than the duel.
NOT LAST WEEKS JOKE.
A cucumber four feet long was on ex-
hibltion at the Maine State Fair. II the
Democratic party can only secure this
cucumber 1t can carry Maine at the next
election without a struggle. How so, thou
silly one2 Because it can double its
Hello2 Managing editor? Well, what do
you want2 Hey? Had this same joke in
last week? Not much another Joke; en-
tirely different last week | said "Repub-
1ican party" Don't want it anyhow? All
right, then, she's dead Never did know a
managing editor who had as much sense
of humor as q COW, anyhow. Play ball,
there, viii you2
NOTES ON INSOMNIA.
What pleases me, when l am tormented
with sieeplessness. is q little health book
of my own, in which have jotted down a
few-a very few-of the 'infallible remed-
les for sleeplessness which had been tried
in thousands-or perhaps 1t was millions
of cases most OF which were in the pre-
scriber's own immediate family, or, at the
farthest, circle of intimate friends, and had
never once failed to effect q permanent
and, Ii Is needless 10 say, instant cure. All
of these cases collectively and each one by
Itself individually, were, land was exactly
like nv own in cause, duration and opera