St. Landry democrat., 1887-12-10

press.
He never had achieved ''beat," or OBJ
tanned an exclusive item of news in his life
He said he had mo Imagination"
ANY man who could make more out of ar
occurrence than a plain advertising paragraph
seemed to Tommy dangerous romancer.
II can't do that" he would remark. 81
can't see anything in an item but just what
it was"
So he never got further in the descriptive
science than to state:
IA difficulty happened yesterday between
the Honorable Wallsmall Snort, of Missis-
sippi, and General Isham Fishbone, of Wis
consin. 1t appears that the facts were
these"
Or, Precisely at twelve o'clock, Senator
Clubhouse, the President pro tenn, raped the
Senate to order, and Rev. Sporadic Chant
server offered up feryent prayer. The
journal was then read"
If new man came along and "made a
good deal" out ofthe scenes, incidents, sugges-
tons, etc., of openings and pageants like the
above, Tommy Downes would read it, and
open his jaws with his teeth exposed in grin
and take off his spectacles and wipe them and
eXpiode-"He-he-hih! I"
He never reflected on anybody, nor car
ried scandal, nor felt abused or jealous but
all new competitors or writers of scope struck
him as jokes or oddities, and their perform
ances as pleasing singularities, SO he greeted
their triumphs or quarrels, their eloquence
or wit, with a
"He-he-hih ~
Really, Tommy Downes was not made for
the newspaper business, but, then, what else
was he made for since nobody could con-
ceive any other business he might possibly
engage in, and he had always been in this
one business since period before which
current memory runneth not. His very age
was lost in his obscurity and uneventful-
ness, like land terrapin found in the woods
with the year 1902 cut on his belly shell
Tommy had seen everything from the
death Of John Quincy Adams in Congress to
the murders of the two Presidents; but if a
new and irrepressible writer tried to draw
him out and give letter from his remi
niscences, all the stranger could get from
Tommy was a few sentences of syes" and
''no,'' with abundant explosions of assent
and concurrent
"He-he-hih! %
Yet everybody in the craft liked Tommy,
partly because he was so small and unob-
jectionable and CHEEKY spirited.
Positive men liked him because in his
laugh was perpetual assent when they
scored somebody or antagonized some issue
with lurid power, and had their tempers
restored by Tommy Downes'-
"He-he-hihp'
Writers who were failures and knocked
about through their obtrusiveness and i'm
practicability came across Tommy Downes
and felt better when, to their dismal stories
and arraignings, he chimed in almost SYM
pathetically with his
"He-he-hihl"
de had his own ups and doDs,es as he said.
without meaning to pun. after receiving his
discharge from the same paper which as
frequently took him back-partly because
he was easily dispensable aud as easily found
and employed again.
When any journal wanted to economize, it
began by cutting off Tommy Downes.
When an extra and inexpensive hand was
required, no trouble was had about sending
for Tommy Downes.
He took his discharge with little blank
ness OF countenance, merely wiping his gold
glasses and putting them on again and
ginning
"He-he-hihW
When taken on again and sent upon a
task he listened to instructions and wiped
his glasses and assented--
"He-he-hih."
BE filled the corners and chinks of the