Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1887-04-03
MIR. n MRS. BOwSER.

Mrs. b. Does Not wish to Complain Of Her
Husband PerenniaIly, But Displays Some
of His Faults TO Public Gaze.
Detroit Free Press.
Idon't want to be complaining of Mr..
Bowser all the time, but some Of his do
ings ought to be held up to the public
gaze. He came in from the barn the other
day in a great hurry and called out:
"Mrs. Bowser, where's the screwdriyer?
Hurry, now, for 1 want it right away
"Why, l don't know where it is. L don {
have charge of you tools"
Look here! ! left that screwdriver on
this window-sill in the sitting room yester-
day afternoon"
''Well, I haven't seen it"
WHO has? It's probably been tucked
into the stove or give awayto some PoiacS.
It's a wonder the piano doesn't turn up
missing some morning. Ii it's got 80 thai
| can't leave a tool around the house with.
out it's being destroyed / want to know il"
| was looking around while he stood In
the middle of the room talking, and pres
emily | found a gimlet bored into the wall
where he had intended to put up bracket,
and said:
"There's the gimlet, and you'll be ask,
ing for that next"
Mrs. Bowser, when l asked you where
the gimlet was why didn't you tell me?'
''YOu didn't ask"
what! What brought me in from the
barn?"
"You came after the screwdriver."
"Never! / came right in here and asked
for the gimlet, and you know it. Do you
suppose I'd try to bore a hole with u screw
driveru'
'I'm sure you said s~crewdriver."
81 know / said gimltt."
He was mad about it all the afternoon,
and that evening, as We got settled down
after supper. he suddenly observed:
"If you'll hut up those riyets III Tx
that picture frame" -,
"Did you have some riyets around hereF
Ibid l? Didn't l bring a paper OF 'em
home three or four deys ago! They have
probably gone into the stove or into the
cart of some pedler."
'Mr. Bowser, I'll take my oath there
hasn't been a rivet in this house since we
moved in. What could We use nyets for?'
"Do You remember the night brought
home that bottle of wine? Didn't a
a small package out of my pocket and put
II ON that table, and didn't afterwards get
the tack hammer and put a strip on the
kitchen Window"
'Oh-yes."
ooh, YOU remember, do you"
But you didn's have rivets in that
packape-they were inch brads, and they
are right in the stand drawer. Why didn't
YOU say brads, Mr.. Bowser?"
"Who said rivets?"
"why you did"
Don't you suppose ! know the differ
ence. between rivets and brads?'
Certainly"
''Then don't make a fool Of me! When
| asked you for the brads didn't mean
rivets. II you don't know which from
which you'd better learn"
Mr.. Bowser was using his tape line IN
the garrett the other day, and when went
I'D and found it strung about reeled 1t up
and laid it on a window sill. About I'D
o'clock the next forenoon became rushing
in with the exclamation:
mice neighborhood, this is! You were
bound and determined to locate up here,
and now you must take the consequence
what is it Mr.. Bowser?"
81 left my tape line on that saw horse
in the back yard yesterday, and some hui
man fiend slid in last night and stole 1t. 1t
was by your advice that l came up here
and invested $40, 900 in a house, and this
is the result!'
Weren't you using the tape-line in the
houSe yesterday"
"No, ma'amm
Didn't you leave it up in the garrett
"Do you think I've. suddenly lost my
memory? Mrs. Bowser, you talk to me as
if / was a half-idiot!"
| went up and got the tape-line and
brought it down to him. He was caught
but what did he do hut assume an air o
awful dignity, and say:
"Mrs. Bowser, don't you never dare t.
play any such trick on me again! A Jok'
is a Joke, but when you sneak into TIT
yard and carry my tape.line into the gar
ret, it is going altogether too far
| suppose there are men who keep SOM
track of their hats, gloves, rubbers, ect.
when at home, but Mr.. BOwscr isn't o
that kind. Each morning after breakfas
| am prepared for the exclamation:
There! Some of you have been foollnI
with my hat!'
isn't it on the hall tree?"
of it was would | stand her asking TO
it? | don't think Pve gone blind yet"
Didn't you leave it in the sittin
ROOM"
'Of course | didn't! l hung it up her
as | came home, and some of You hav
probably been using il 10 store potatoe
in"
The hat is found on Il chair in the sit
tipg-room, Just where he placed il, an
after more grumbling he goes into the hal
for his rubbers and shouts back:
"They are gone!'
"What?n'
my rubbers! I'll be hanged if / stan,
this thing much longer. You or the COO
have got to let my rubbers alone or II
know the reason why!'
"Are you sure you left 'em there?'
"Am I sure I'm alive! You've probabl
cut 'em up to make d~sor-hinges or som
fance nOnsense!"
Here they are, Mr. BOwser. You n
member you took 'em of by the radiatc
as you stood telling me about the railroa
accident"
II don't remember anything Of the sort
| suppose my gloves are down in the coz
bin and my scarf has been given to tn
boys to play horse with. I'll come in b
way of the barn after this, and when
take my things off ri lock 'em up an