The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1887-02-18
TAKEN FROM LIFE.
Everyday Dialogues Between . Railway
Ticket Agent and His Customers.

ing. The chances are that you have
taken an active part in one yourself:
Traveler-When does the next train
for POdunk start? painful silence.
Ticket-seller turns his back to his in
terlocutsr and pretends to be busy at
his desk.) When does the accommodate
ton for Podunk leave? CTicket-seller
apparently unconscious of the presence
of Traveller. who becomes excited, and
speaks louder.) When will there be
another train for Podunk?
Tcket-seller (fiercely)-W'at?
T.-For the fourth time, when does
the next train for Podunk start?
I. S. (glaring at Traveler-See here.
young Teller, don't yer give me no back
talk, understand? Where dye wanter
go?
ITO Podunk. When
T. S. (energetically stamping ticket
One dollar sixty-eight
T. (pale but dctermined)-
does the train
L. L.-Sa-ay, dye want this ticket
r not? Eff yer do gi'me one sixty
eight. an make room fer that lady.
L. (quailing before the Ticket-sellcr's
fiery glance, but resolved not yield his
points)-At what time does the train
start?
T. Swat train9
THE train for Podunk.
T. S.-FOur iifty-six.
T.-(startled)-W-w-what time
is it now?
7. S. with diabolical merrimcnt)-
Four fifty-sevcn. That's Yer train just
turnin' that corner. You'd Il got it if
Yer had run for it instid o.
standin' here shootin' off yer chin at
me.
But don't be too harsh in your judg-
ment of the +. s.. for the following
conversation is not an eXa@gcration of
the sort of thing he has to undergo
daily. and it is but natural that his
temper should be soured:
Elderly Lady.-Is this the ticket Of
| flee?
Ticket Seller (who has seen her be-
fore and knows what is coming. with
the calmness of dcspair)-YeS. ma'am.
f. 1.-The reason L asked is the last
time was daown here | made Il mis-
take an went tew the tclcgraph-oilice,
AM
+. S.-JuSt so. ma'am. Where to?
+. L.-Hay?
T. S.-Where dye want u ticket to?
f. L.-Wa-al. that what l wanted
ter see yeou abaont. Ycou see live
up in Saouth Win,iboro'
T. S.-South Windboro'? Two ten.
Produces ticket.)
Z. L.-Wait minute. My husbands
sister lives up tew Wayback Junction.
got letter from her this mornin' say
in that she's been ailin' fer some time.
an askin' me cf l wouldn't come an
stop with her 4 day or tew. Naow. ct
/ buy a ticket from yeou tew Saouti
Winlboro', can / git off at Waybacs
Junction am
T. S.-NO stop-overs allowed.
f.. HAY?
r. S.-You can't do it. You'd have
to pay again to get from Wayback juno
ton to South Windboro'
+. L. tindiasantly)-HaoW's that?
T. S. (wearily) - Comp'ny's rules.
Make haste, ma'am, there's others
waitin'. Ticket for South Windboro'9
T.. l.. (very deliberately)-Wa-al.I
dunno. It's Il mi ghty queer rule.
Looks few me rs cf there's 4 screw
loose somewhere. Ycou're sure yeoU
amt made no mistake. young man?
+. S.-If You don't hurry up you'n
lose the train.
f.. l.. Gn frightful cxcitemenD-Lord
o massy! Haow soon does the thing
Stirto
+. Slight minutes.
+. l.. with sigh of relieD.-Oh.
then. I've got time enough. Young
man You give me an awful turn. My
hearts been affected ever since tew
years ago ThankSgivin', when l.
.. $. Undressing the next person OH
the linc)-Whcrc to?
+. L.-Massy sakes, young man.
don't yeOu see / amt got my ticket
ycto How much to Wayback juno
ton?
rs. (producing tickeD-One eighty
six.
f. kim You change a ten-dollar
bill?
T. S. Change anything. Crakc
billy.
F.. L. Gin sudden excitement)-Wait!
wait, Cline back that bill! kin get
along withaout changin' that bill. jest
rs well as not. N I'd rithcr not, for
nv Experience is that after You once
break ten-,lollar bill 1T amt no time
afore its all gone. Here's your money.
(PrOdaccs IN assortment of copper.
nickel and silver coins. Ticket Seller
cornts them.)
+. S.-There's only one eighty-onc
here Five cents more, please.
f. lin sure caountad it right.
Hain't yeou dropped Il nickel? (After
Il two-minutes' Intellectual search for
the coin. the Elderly Lady produces
another, and departs. firmly convinced
that she has been robbed.-F. a.
Stedrns, IN Puck.
The Schaffhausen Falls.
The nearest thing we have in Europe