The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-06
BRIGHT BITS.

WE incline to the belief that Bernhardt will
not enlera nunaery until after all the other
places are closed up.-Peorid Transcript.
NATURE knew what she was about when she
made women beardleSS. She knew that not
one in a Thousand could keep her chin still
long enough to get shaved.-B inghdmton Re
publican
OVERHEARD at the card room at the club,
where four grave and silent gentlemen are
seated at whist Enter Dumley.
Dumley-Aha. gentlemen, playing whist?
GrigSon Hooking up rather YEARLY NO,
Dumleyi We are playing four-handed solitaire!
Boston Tfaseyfpt
"CAN you tell me, darling" he asked, as they
sat together in the weak spot Of the sofa, the
exact II astrological and mathematical duration
of a kiss
About a second and half, 1 believe" she
answered demuraly.
Thanks, ne sand. " will make minute or
1t. "--Blerltn9toh Free Press.
THE Chicago Inter Ocean notes the birth of a
baby en- route ira Union Pacific sleeping car,
and pictures tile future misery Of the man as
he seekS:h his birthplace to cherish IL. but never
flnds ite-this mad busy, rushing town of
Enroutes il But the boy who is born at the rate
Of fifty miles an hour is pretty likely to find his
station III Gfe.r Springfield Union.
A TRAvELEsG MAN from this country went into
what the Signboard indicated was an American
restaurant. During his meal he asked for glass
of water
Tsseg pdwding, sirs" said the waiter
Il want n GLASS OF water
Very sorry, hi hassure you, but since Buffalo
BIZ has been ere we honly serve Hamerican
drinks. '-Merchdnt Traveller.
A JOURNALISTIC BLUNDER-Omaha Man
What do you think of James Gordon Benefits
last venture. his new paper in Paris?
Returned Travelef-I am afraid it will fail; it
is printed in English.
But it is for circulation among Americans
there, is 1t notyn
That's just the trouble. Tourists will be
ashamed to be seen with it; people will think
they can't read nch."-OmuhG World.
would you believe it," exclaimed a young
lady who was fitting herself to pair of boots
in CarR street store the other evening, there
is Miss ank who lives next door TO us on the
Boulevard and whose father is so rich-can you
credit I'll lcnew her when she hadn't a pair of
shoes to her feet"
Impossible replied the dealer. Were they
ever as poor as thaty When was it,"
oh, last summer, when we were East to-
gether, and she bathed at the beach at New
port. "-Chicdgo National.
YES, these mining schemes are very I'M
certain remarked a travelling man who had
returned from the far West.
Sometimes they pay very high, "
That's fact but take my advice and let 'em
alone ~
=, Ever had any experience with them"
81: Yes; Invested $4,000 in a Colorado mire."
" And did yon realize anything?"
S''Ycs, sir realized for the seven hundred and
sixty-s1cond time that always a blamed
fool in business matters. "-Merchdnt Travele'.
SsiTH-Do you see that solemn-looking man
over taee..3 He's distinguished in way.
Brown-Hc looks common enough What is
there about him.
"Well, he's preacher, of course you see"
"Nothing unusual or extraordinary about
that"
i knew but sh. That man has never been
mentioned as q possible successor of Henry
Ward Beecher."
"Great CupoIa. is that so? Come to look at
him he does look odd."-Binohdmto Republi
can. 81
"ABsALoM," said an editor who was hard at
work at the first number of his paper, what
would you suggest as a suitable motto to go
under the head on the first page?"
How would 'Hew to the line, let the chips
fall where they may do?" replied the foreman,
''or The Union, now and forever, one and in
separable,?"
THEY are very good said the editor, but
they don't quite suit me. have been thinking
of With malice toward none with charity for
ALL and yet that isn't exactly what l am after
either. Let me see-'I'l take the responsibility
JACKSON Whatever is morally wrong can not
be politically right One flag, one country, >
an l have it Make the motto No pay, no
paper, Absalom. - Chicago Tribune.