The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-11-02
BRIGHT BITS.

A SPORTSMAN who can't bag anything else can
bag his trousers by crawling on his hands and
knees behind fences.-NeO HdueR Mems.
A GEORGIA FARMER made 800 off an acre
planted III waterInelons. and Il nelShoorlnR doc
tor made $500 on the same acre.--P0st- Dis
patch.
IN Turkey a man is allowed to have four
wives, but one OF tine consequences is that he
has to take his shoes off under the gas light
away down at the corner Of the street--Somer-
tftte Journal.
BLoBsoN You never saw such devoted
fatheras DumpSey. He just swears by his
children.
Popinjay-How different from Bigsbyl He
just swears at his Burlington Free-Press
THERE IRE five gold dollars, " said old Hearty
to his young grandson, "one for each of your
birthdays. What more could a little shaver
like you wish?'
Only that was as old as you, grandpa" re-
Piled the young lnancier. Judge.
Now, Mary Ann = said the teacher address
ing the foremost of The class in mythology.
who was 1t supported the world on his shout
ders!''
1t was Atlas. ma am"
And who supported Atlasf"
THE book. doesn't say, but guess his wife
supported him--ChicGgO Sunday National
"PA, won't you give me new dressg want
one SO much"
IN speak 10 your mother about it."
The chiid's wistful expression was turned into
disappointment.
Surely mamma will know if its necessary"
Yes, replied the child, demurely: Il sup
pose SO. But when you speak to her touch her
easy, para, or she might want one for herself
Exchange.
Oh, these women A brakeman on a railway
exacted from his wife that she would always
signal from a particular window of their little
house as his train went by, and ever since he
has always seen the tiutteTing kerchief But
the other day the train happened to run by
slowly. e 0UmmV 81
gown. leaning against the window casing, with
a dish-cloth pinned to its sleeve : Y0nkers
Statesman.
ION. I'm almost tired to DEATH"
why. where have you been?''
Been into Lutestrings S, trying to match my
black silk. They've got the sauciest girls there
| ever saw -
Il know it
The girl that waited upon me almost set me
wild She was polite enough Lord knows and
so patient, you know But she couldn't fool
me. know well enough she mad enough
inside, the deceitful creature / wonder why
iutestring has such people in his store. "-Bos-
ton Transcript.
He KNEW IT-"Wel'." he remarked, as he met
a Woodward avenue grocer, 80 poor II. has
gone to the wall"
you don't tell me-
Yes; he can't pay ten cents on the dollar
>"It surprises me, and yet it doesn't. saw
little transaction five years ago which satisfied
me that he would eventually bring up with
SUDDEN jerk
what was that"
''Wny, he bought horse right here in front
of my store without even asking me to look at
the animals teeth and tell his age.-Detroit
Free Press.
USES OF BoYs-First Omaha Florist-Young
De Pink is a slow payer, isn't he?
Second Floristr-IaSt week be paved up the
bill he owed me and made all sorts Of apologies;
said ne had forgotten all about,
''Ehg Did you sue?'
mo; the last time he ordered bouQet sent
to his girl l made out an itemized bill for the
past three years, giving the address each bou-
quet went to-"
Yes"
We'll the boy made mistake and delivered
the bouquet to De Pink and the bill to the girl
Omaha World.
LEvI-Vant any vine. elegant suspenders to-
day? Something's vat will throw oudt der chest,
hold up der bants, and keep you in der way you
should goy
Impecunious Scribe-Get out of this. Tn hard
enough strapped already without any assistance
from you.
Levi-Ah. yah, I see You suspended pay
ment! Then dake these to brace up With. I'd
let
But just here a pair of weary shears cut
short the thread of Lewis remarks and he
concluded to suspend business himself for the
rest of the day. --Chariestowh Enterprise.