The Arizona sentinel., 1887-03-26
NAPoLEoN's VICTORY.


 Donkey Who Threw Him.
 There was not such a mischievous being on the farm as Napoleon Bona parte, aged eight. If the cows got in- to the corn, Boney was generally found to be somehow responsible for it, not because, like Little Boy Blue, he was under the hay-stack, fast asleep- for he kept his eyes wide open enough but, very likely, the blackberries tempted him across the road, and he just forgot to shut the gate; or squir- rel hid itself beneath a fence, and the rails had to be pulled down before the frightened little animal was captured. Then away would Boney run, to show the other small darkies his prize, while the cattle took advantage of his ab- sence to make square meal of green corn.
 Uncle 'Lias was the only person who could keep the young scapegrace in any sort of order, and sometimes even his authority failed.
 For instance, Aunt Mahaley, Major Washington's cook, who had made the majors gruel when he was baby, died suddenly, and soon as the news reach ed Uncle 'Lias, he started Boney post haste, to inquire at what hour the funeral would take place. Now, so grand burial as Major Washington intended for his faithful servant was scarcely more exciting to Uncle 'Lais than to Boney; but, unfortunately, in taking a short cut through the ''briah- patch," rabbit crossed his path, and he set off in hot pursuit.
 Away scudded the rabbit, over field, under brambles, with Boney close be- hind, till hollow tree offering shelter to the poor fugitive, it rushed into the trunk and out of sight. The boys only chance was to gather together a big pile of leaves and brushwoOd, to kindle fire, and smoke the rabbit from its hiding place. He was anx- iously awaiting the result of this ex- pertinent when an unexpected foOtstep reached his ear.
 A moment after. Uncle 'Lias had seized him from behind, and was vigor- ously applying some of the brush to another purpose. Dear me! didn't poor Boney catch it! In vain he tried to escape by declaring he had seen the funeral pass, and thought it too late to % home then. Uncle 'Lias was only the more enraged.
 'De idee of a neighb'in sister bein' laid ter rest 'dout a 'spectable mourn CT from our place a jinein' in de per cesshunr' said the old man, emphasiz- ing his remarks on Boney's back, len all on count CT a ole rabbit pintin' his tail at a fool niggerr'
 In fact, Aunt Mahalev was not buried till next day, and Boney, by way of further punishment, was de- prived of the pleasure of assisting at the ceremony.
 This was Bonaparte's first defeat. The second happened in this wise:
 Uncle 'Lias said he must have horn to call the field hands in to meals.
 1t wa'n't no use CT him hollerin'. |. long es hawn could make twict es much nOise," he said.
 When somebody suggested that the big dinner-bell would answer every purpose, Uncle 'Lias said it wouldn't, and that ended discussion. To satisfy the good soul, Boney was dispatched to bridle the donkey, and sent off to town as soon as possible. He carried a written order to hardware shop for ca tin horn" and mail bag, which he was to leave at the post-office for let ters, while he executed his other com mission.
 Arrived at the shop, he delivered his order into the hands of clerk, and cast his eyes around in search of an instrument that would fulfill Uncle 'Lias' requirements.
 The clerk politely handed him one after another for inspection, but NapO- leon Bonaparte was not going to do any thing rash, so he presently mus tered courage to ask:
 ''Kin jes' try de soun' CT one desc we're? Unc' 'Lias. he mighty pertickler bout de soun', en he tell me eff l brin gs him hawn dat ain t jes' right in soun' dey ain't gwine to be a whole bone lef' in my body"
 Whereupon he proceeded to blow not one, but GH the hoEss, until the patient clerk was obliged to request him to se- lect an instrument from those already tested, or take one on faith, as such a noise would inevitably drive every cus- toner from the shop. Thus adjured' Boney made his choice, and after stopping at the post-ofice, started fol home
 About fse o'clock he appeared upon the top ci 8 hill just in front of th'