The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-08-13
BRIGHT BITS.

An Ohio tame crow has lived to pass his thir-
ty-Second birthday. Funny that some Of the
politicians didn't eat him long ago.-DetroH
Free Press.
IT is probably untrue that Jay Gould clips of
his coupons with a lawn mower. He keeps his
bonds in a water main and the coupons float off
INTO tank.-1SprinGf9d Union.
OUT in Nebraska man Invented new fly
trap-a blanket saturated with coal oil-which
he hung up in his house and burned after it was
full of flies Now he's trying to find the house.
-Bnfalo Express.
SHE-Are you going to the picnic on Tuesday,
George?
He--Oh yes
She with feeble AUTHORIZATIONS, George
He--No; shall take an umbrella.-Puck
Our little May
For want of breath,
Was called away
All gourd to death.
Duluth Photographer.
PoLrrIcIAN-If You people don't like the can
didates we nominate why don't you attend the
primaries and shape things to suit yourselves
Citizen-I cant afford it.
Did you ever try?"
Yes, three times, and had my pocket picked
each time. ''-OiRuhd World
A REPORTER was chatting with half q dozen
Wall street men yesterday, and was accosted
by a tramp who wanted anything from a cent
to a house and lot Tie reporter gave him a
thanks and consideration, and, putting on his
Sunday gratitude, he said (aS comforting
boom: you're a brick boss. This is my
beat, and I'll strike you every time l see you"
--NeW York Sun
Mrs WILLIAM THOMAS, of Pendleton avenue.
gave birth to twins ten days ago which will be
claSsed as among the wonders of infantile his
tory. When born, the united weight of the
twins was hardly three pounds. One of the
babies was particularly small; in fact. so dimin-
utive that it was predicted that it could not live
The prediction proved true, and it died last
week. The larger twin was seen yesterday
wrapped in cotton batting and a shawl, and
with those appendices it weighs two pounds.
The visitor was somewhat staggered by the
fathers asking: Whom does it look like!''-
Springfield Union.
THE removal of the old drug store at Norwich
calls out this anecdote of DIR. Daniel, the senior
partner in the first firm that did business
profitable one. too, in the place sharp old
lady chilled at the shop one day with a prescrip-
ton. When the doctor had prepared the same
She She, inquired What shall pay He replied;
the lady do be liberal. abate the odd and let
me pay the event. II will, with pleasure" he
replied Then as three is odd and six is even. l."
said the lady. here is sixpence and that set
ties it, That is too bad, a." groaned the doctor
but have this to console me; l have made
fourpence halfpenny out of you as it is
Worcester Spy
In home on st Charles street. overlooking
lovely rose garden, there swings parrot; near
by is the cage of a young mocking bird. The
other evening such a flood of melody burst from
the throat of the hooking bird that polly was
quite overcome. Am l." thought he, 'to be
cast entirely in the shade by this youngster who.
in his first song. bids fair to be q very marvel
among birds? oh no, oh no! I'll smut him up,
and thereupon the parrot raised his croaking
voice and sang, Pretty Polly Hopkins how do
you do to-day?'' over and over. each time grow
ing louder, until he completely silenced the
young singer who has not since dared to sing
note before his less musical, hut more confident
companion. Orleans Picdyune.