The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-10-08
BRIGHT BITS.

II THINK I'll give this country the shake, " re-
marked the malaria as it prepared for bust
ness. - Washington Critic.
THE man who can buy the most with 25c. is
likely to come out ahead in the race of life. He
gains on the quarter Washington
Critic.
AT COUNTRY HoTEL4-'You will be perfectly
at home here, sir"
That is exactly what 1 want-to live en-
familie"
Yes sir, you can live as IL you were at home
every one here pOlishes his own shoes every
morning. "-PdriS Chm'iUari
Miss TRAVIS How do you like August Popin-
jays new volume of verse:
De Smith-Oh, so, so: his feet are rather
faulty-dont you think so?
Miss Travis-Oh. Mr. De Smith, how can you
He has got the loveliest, little feet ever saw on
man. burlington Free Press.
DO you recollect Shakespeares famous re-
mark that all the world a stagey"
Yes"
Did you ever notice that it applies to chick
ems as well as to peoples"
To chickeHss"
Yes They have their entrees and their egg
sits don't they Washington critic.
OVERHEARD on The beach at Long Branch.
Two little girls have arrived at certain famil-
iarity and are beginning to get interested in
each others domestic relations.
What is your pop anyway"
MY papa is q colonel IN the army
Colonel is he: Well my pop is a general
dealer in the Bowery. '-T01Cn Topics
You don't mean to say that you had to pay
just as much for your pew during the summer
months when the church was closed as when it
was opens
Certainly
"How ridiculous"
''Oh, l don't know; I don't begrudge the
money. | enjoyed the pew quite as well as
though was in it; better, if anything Dos
ton Transcript.
OMAHA DANE-SO you are named after your
father? l suppose though your mamma has
some pet name for you.
Little Boy-No She calls me Will, same as
she does papa
When she is in another room and calls, / don't
see how you can tell which one she means, you
or your papa?'
''Oh, that's easy enough She always calls
me kind . ceaxing, you know. Omaha World.
THEPREss AS A MANsIAYEa.- People who are
connected wlththe press do not live long. said
the professor. The continued mental and
physical effort is very wearing and a man
breaks down sooner or later"
Yes, that's true. l had a brother who
adopted the press as profession and it killed
him the first day
Indeed How could that occur?'r
why, he fell into it. 1t was hay press, you
see. ''-LiRcota Journal
BOYS PRAYER.-Omaha Mamma-There
now, stop ehattering and say your prayers.
Little Son-Make sister shut up, so l can. Say,
mamma, can =
Il told you TO stop talking"
Il know Can you"
Say your prayers"
Yes, I'm goin' to. Now | laymedowntoseep
l pray th'Lordmys oultokeepn shoulddiebefore
awake l soultotakesaymamma,
can you move your ears?H-Omdhd World.
SHORT RATIoNs Widow Flapjack is cele-
brated for the smallness of the steaks with
which she feeds her boar1ers. few mornings
ago Hostetter McGinnis was cynically regard
ing the little piece of meat on his plate when
the Widow Flapjack asked sharply;
Mr.. McGinnis, you are not eating your steak
this morning"
NO, mum, it's too hot
Then why don't you Dol it by blowing it,"
"Humph, I'm afraid Id blow it away if l were
to blow omit, and then might not be able to
find it again. TerdS SiftiHgs.