Morning journal and courier., 1887-03-26
w ISE.

It is wise stock that knows its own par
Life.
A woman who will pay $50 for high hat
ought not to be allowed to vote.-Puek.
Would it be improper to call an alley where
street fight has taken place an allegoryi-
Life.
Theatrical people are always quarreling,
but then they "make up" easily.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Mormon wife Ito husband)-Are you going
out, dsara Mormon husband-Yes; I have
an engagement with Miss Brigham. She is
to give me her answer to-night.-Puck.
Servant girl to mistress-There's a gentle
man at the door. Mistress-Did he give you
his namea No, he gave me a kiss. Oh,
that's my brother Tom. Let him in.-Troy
Times.
sI wish was public house." said low
ing woman to her husband. "Why," he in
quired, with some degree of surprise. ooh,
because you would run in eighteen or twenty
times day to see me-"
The ancient proverb says: fYou cannot
get more out of bottle than you put in it.
That's an error. Besides what he put in, he
can get headache, sick stomach and per-
haps ten days in the lookup.
New Way to Serve Them.-Country-
man-"Guess I'll try some of these here
vegetable oysters" Waiter-"Yes, sir.''
Countryman-"Ands say, waiter, bring 'em
in on the half shell. ."-Tid-Bi
'Will you trust me, Fanniea'' he cried,
passionately grasping her hand. F'With all
my heart, Augustus, with altmy soul, with
all myself" she whispered, Nesting on his
manly bosom. "Would to heaven you were
my tailor" he murmured sotto voce, and
tenderly he took her in his arms.-Washing-
ton Critic.
He Would Miss the Train-Mons x, de-
sirous OF starting in the morning on an i'm
portant Journey, told his servant to call him
at 5 O'Clock. The next morning Monsieur
awoke of his own accord and locked at the
clock. It was quarter to 5. Fifteen min
utes to and that beastly servant not here
yet to wake me up!" cried Mons. x, furi
ous FI shall miss the train, sure as I ive!"
French Fun in Texas Siftings.
Omaha boy-"Say, sis, you know Mr..
NicefelIow begged your pardon for steppin'
on your dress an tearin' a big hole in its"
Omaha miss-''Well, what of ita' can
you said it didn't matter a bit, an You was
glad of it," eyes" 'sCause you liked to
sew, an you didn't know what you would do
with yourself if you hadn't something to
mend!' ''Well, what of it, say.' .'It
wasn't Mr.. Nicefellow that stepped On your
dress. 1t was me-" ooh! you horrid awk-
ward little wretch. "I1l skin you alive" y
Omaha Herald.
Apropos of Brahms we learn that the great
composer lately played his sonata for violon-
cello and piano with 'cellist who was not
quite up to the composers expectations.
Brahms in consequence played the piano part
somewhat more energetically than he might
otherwise have done, and the poor 'cellist,
after the first movement, said to him: "But,
my dear Mr.. Brahms please do not play SO
loudly as you are drowning me SO unmerci-
fully that 1 cannot hear myself" cob, you
happy fellowl'' was the simple reply OF the
composer.-Musical Courier.
The tramp he is the only King
Who in America holds swing.
In this fair land where must work,
He leads the life of a Grand Turk.
No chick child, wife has he,
Nor dare he carry latch-key.
He loafs, he travels or he steals
And when he can he bolts his meals.
Some day the tramp with Kings may camp,
For every King may be a tramp
New York Journal