The Arkansaw traveler., 1887-06-04
Hi-iftea |ol The -4rkdasdc Trdreier. 4 Few aDtediluVial Facts.
BY J. F.. L.

The recent discovery of enormous fish beds i'll Kansas and other prairie countries has given riso to speculation as to how they were originally formed.
 There is no doubt but that this is subject that should be well consid- cred before we arrive at any definite conclusion.
 Some are of the opinion that these fossilized remains of the tinny tribe were lost out of the maStodons' trunks when they passed through here look ing around trying to find suitable location. It is very probable that the mastodonic remains that are now found in different parts of the coun- try must have tlourished about the >ame era that the fish did
 If any one supposes that we are go- ing to discourse on anything very re- cent, or expect to hear what happened day after tomorrow, they are badly left. to quote the language of the Greeks. Therefore you will please excuse the ancient and fishy smell that permeates this document.
 We have no right to believe that the fish of those days were remarka- hlc for their eccentricity, and that they were in the habit of getting up excursions on their own hook, so to speak, and wander off over the dry prairie without dropping d line to any one.
 What must have been their disap- pointment on finding themselves stranded high and dry on a Kansas prairie on hot July day? When we remember how they must have rolled round and round, trying in vain to wipe the dust out of their eyes with the end of their tails, we cannot help but weep crocodile tears.
 have in mind now a beautiful fish story. about the time they held their last school. Fishes always travel in schools, you know, but I never knew that they were any wiser on that ac- count The big fish stood on their heads and tried in vain to fan them selves with their tails. The little fishes were all severely whaled for blubbcring so much. The catfish sang his last song. and said he realized how great a sucker he had been. He came out on porpoise to grow up with the country. and now they were going to die just like any common land shark So saying. he opened his mouth, and his breath he let slide
 Most of the fish were so affected bv his remarks that they immediately began crawling into some convenient hole. They did not stop to pull the hole in after them. They had no time and even had they been SO inclined they couldn't have done it. They laid there and slowly dried up. Years and years have passed away. and the slowly accumulating buffalo grass has at last covered them up, and they are now found ill pretty good state of preservation.
 Now, I ask. is it reasonable to sup pose that the above theory is correct? Can any fair minded individual sit down solemnly and fail to see the point of my remarks? Is it necessary to retire to ones closet and commune with our old friend Demi John before we will admit that probably the founder of the above theory, or the theory of the above founder, may each or both be wrong?
 Let Us turn back. gentle reader, a few billions of years and look at our, selves.
 The earth had just been turned out of the shop. a bran new. red hot article. It laid round rather loose for long while. because no one could touch it. Old Atlas flourished in those days. and he had an idea that what he couldn't lift must be pretty we'll fastened down. He used to go around breaking all the lifting ma chimes at the county fairs. and he prided hHn>elf on being regular John l.. at that business. We'll, he looked the earth over with critical eye, spit on his hands and went for it. He was pretty tough customer, and he managed to get it mp on his shoulders. This was considered such a remarkable feat that he had his photograph taken ill that position, and they have had it on the cover of nearly every geography since.
 When the earth had rested upon his shoulders few minutes it began to burn through his porous plaster. He dropped it mighty quick, and began to pour water on it to cool it off. This puckered up the edges and made the earth's crust as full of crelses as Dr. Tanners face was after his forty days fast.
 Old Atlas kept pouring on water,