davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
HUMOROUS.

Short and swect-stick of candy. = In favor of protcction-,ho old maid. Acrobats report that business is jump ing.
 Stands to reason--Thc gentleman who has the floor.
 It is bettersto rise with the lark than with tho Lent pin.
 The rivers which run smoothcst cre !, those with the most springs:
 When a man goes out of the poultry business he tears tho tattered hen sign down..
 Even fishermen who wouldn't steal arc always ready to hook something if they get chance.
 ''Tho people like tyrants," snys magazine writer. Maybe that's why tho - people get marriel. N The great trouble with somo people is that their upp,r and lover lips arc i, strangers to each other.
 A Iouisyillc man whose hennory was destroyed by ,fry congratuIssss himself / that his fowls all died game.
 Youcan get more wind out of n ten- cent fan than you can from $500 ono. It's the same way with tea-ccnt man. !,
 A scientist has discovered the ''earth-- quake belt" Kis founl in the spot where the green cucumber shakes you.
 The sign "Bcware of tho dog" is not hung up 'that he who runs may read," but ''that he who reads mny run." ~
 Store keeper 0o1ittlc girl just enter ing store) "Wclk my little girl, what is it to-dayw Little girl dnnocently) "Wednesday"
 A Sing Sing convict concealed him self in box of shirts, was flung into freight car, kicked the end out of the box and escaped. He should have been ironed.
 Because people usually use the right hand in manipu' ating handkerchief the majority of noses are said to turn to tEc right. How let somebody explain why 30 many noses turn up.
 Losing salc.--Elderly spinster Gin drug storc). 'T declare to goodness" Two forgot what I came in fer An it was on my tongues end jest minnit ago." Clerk Crying to help her out). "Er,-- powder, m Jam, or hair-dyc, or or" Exit elderly spinster.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

No portion of tho physiognomy is so vital in its relation to beauty a. the nose, and nothing is rarer than to see ono in perfect form. Hope for those who arc a.hamel of their misshapen noses is now off red by a writer in the Medical Record, who claims to have sat. istac;orily treated a number of unsym. metric organs of smell. The operation, which is performed with the use of CO., caine, is painless and ''consists in the removal from the end of the nose of .tha, tissue which is in excess or which is dis proportionate in amount to the portion, of the nose." In this way a knobbed noec can be made purely Greeian. | the physicians views arc correct there is . chance that hundred years from now admirable noses may be as plentiful as they were in the time of Socrates.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
Presently she rose up with a sigh.

 ner" she said. "Water Wheelock went away dreadfully sudden, was thinking perhaps he might come back. but guess maybe that he was offended by something that I said. didn't mean no harm (with momentary suffu- sion of her poor swollen eyes), tut p'raps spoke without thinking; I shouldn't like to offend Walter Wheelock-hc's one of the few friends I used to have be- fore Bliss married me. But, deary me, when money and courage is gone, friends so tool That's my experience, any. how."
 r On the doorstep, however, she paused, her hand still on the rusted latch. A footstcp had sounded on the hard beaten earth of the path; there was the rustling of lilac leaves, as if some one were com ing up the lane.
 "Its Walter Wheelock himsclfl' she cried, with little catching for breath. "Walter-and what has he got in his aTluSt 1uC Olu 1tilAtiy otoAos NSSio.o' The old family Bible itselfp' Her face frightened; she ran to meet him.
 "Walter! Walter! where did you get it?" she cried.
 The dark brown lawyer smiled.
 T went to your Mrs. Sevicr, Betsey," he said. 'At first she wouldn't listen to 8 word about returning it; but I told her that heirlooms couldn't be bought and sold like other merchandise. talked to her about the law and the penalties accruing to those who broke it's clauses. I deluged her with instances from the law reports, and hinted darkly at prosecutions on the part of the state, | until she began to cry and wish that she never had seen the old thing So then I offered her fifteen dollars, and she was glad enough to see the book carried out of the house. Here it is, Betscy. And now, do you remember that you said you would give any ything to the one who brought back the old family Bible9'
 ''But haven't got anything to givep faltered Bctsey.
 ''You have got what I want most of anything in the world, Betsey yourself Pve always wanted you," he added; ''cvcn before you married Royal Bliss. But somehow I never could muster uI courage 10 ask you to have me. Peoples cowardice fans in strange streaks, don't ita But now that I have earned you, tell me, Betsey, will you give mo your. self?'
 At that moment, with the color rising in her cheek, the eyes full of soft, shy brightness, Betsey Bliss looked almost pretty in spite of her forty years.
 'tIf you really care for such Q poo1 gift" said she. "But, Walter-th. childrcn7'
 'Iguess T m able to support two little chits like that" said he. with a smile, as he drew her towards him. 'Tll d. my best to be good father to 'em Betsey."
 "Walterl"
 ''Well, Betsey7"
 ''I ain't saying but that I'm glad t. get the family bible again." whispered the widow; but"
 "Wcll, Betsey2"
 'If you'd asked me the same question I'd have said yes to it before sold the old family bible," said Betscy.
 And Walter Wheelock felt that h, was paid for every thing. -[ Saturda. Nipht
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

A statistic an announces that marl has twice tho attraction for lightning which chalk has, and that sand has nine times and clay twsnfy-two times as much. Moreover, ffy-four oak trees and fifteen pine trees arc struck for every beach tree that the lightning touches; so that, if one is caught out in . thunder storm, and must stand under trec, it is better 10 stand under Q becch tree which is rooted in chalky ground than anywhere >1s
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

The Paris Figaro giv-s some interest
 ing statistics on schools in Elrope. In Russia there are 32. 900 schools, having each an average of 36 scholars. This is one school for 230O inhabitants, at cost of less than half penny English money) . head of the population. In Austria, with 1000, 900 inhabitants,
 there arc 29. 900 schools and 5000, 900 scholars. The average number at each school is 1O4, and the cost per inhabi- tant 1-2l. In Italy. for 2S. 900, 900 inhabitants there gre A, 900 schools,
 one school for every 600 people, at a cost of 8 1-2l a head. The average number of pupils at the schools is 40. In Spa, n there are 5000, 900 scholars, 29,000 schools, giving an average of 56 in each school and one school for every
 500 inhabitants, as in Italy. The school bill comes to Is 2l. head. The number of schools given for England is 5S, 900 which is ono for every 800 in- inhabitants, with an average attendance of 5a pdeDchoo,, and cost of Is. ed
 per head. The Germans have a scaoo for every 700, Gt4ltg total of 60. 00' schools. with te in es and is v. per.inhabitset saaos fas T, 0O' schoola, bsins oae ssy DO with e' in each school aes would. there for~. ,sem te have noEs schools than any other Grsat Eurepsaa country. Thes .caooas ssst tho es1atsy h 1-sd. ps in.salilank. K
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

A most industrious class of people are the Finlanden in Washington Territory. The commune prevails among them to . large extent A late arrival comes from Finland and the settlers come together and in few days build house and fence farm for him. There is no sea- son in which they arc idle. During the run of salmon they will b, found at the canneries and fsh-wheels When win ter comes they nrs in the timber, cut ting rails, posts and fuel.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
Little Capital.

Jessie-Oh, by the way, uncle, how's cousin John getting along, here in New York2 H. came down to the city to make his wy in the world by his wits, you know.
 Uncle Georee-Yes. Well, the last l knew of him he hal busted up for want of capital. 6iftings.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
Bodies From the Bad Lands,

The Smithsonian institution has re- ceived from Colonel J. H. Wood of St !. Put the bodies of five persons--a man, woman and three chi!drcn-taken from a cave in the Bad Lands of Dakota by a miner. The bodies are simply dried up, and not petrified, but are in Q remark able state of preservation. Scientific men who have seen them say they be- long to race which existed 2000 years ago.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

Five-sixths of the inhabitants of cities in this country have no facilities for bathing except such as are aff orded by pail and. sponge, or an easily accessible river, lake, or other body of water. Consequently the doctors say free public bathing establishments should be provided in every city.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
VOL. XVII.
Four Seasons.

 Spring Is . mai en d.vinely fair, With violets b'ue in her golden hair. At tho balmy touch of her dainty fest The primrose pale and cows:ip sweet Burst forth from their wintry winding sheet; And the forest leav 8 peep out to see Who this beautiful, bountifut maid can be. Summ,r's a warrior flush with fama He rides OCT earth in his car of flame; His whip is the wh.rlwind's circiing lash, His shout is the deafening thunder's crash His spear is the lightning's blinding flash. He brea,hes, and the hi Is are parched and
 dry,
 And the rivulets, fading, in vapors fly. Autumn's merchant of princely mien. The earth's best fIui at his feet nrS seen. His wondrous stores Of gol len xrain Are garnered high on the sunift plain, And flow like seas OCT his rich domain, And his nut-brown children shout with glee As they gather his treasures around his knes Winters monster of fiendish guise, With famine and NO in his bale!ul eyes He blights the air with his icy breath, He scourges the life from the land beneath. The waters he binds in the chains of death And he laughs 10 hear the plaintive vail Of the famisbing poor in the frozen vale.
 IT. A Carpeuter.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
No Apology Needed.

Jones (who had been interrupted in telling long story by Smiths sudden departure)-By the way, old man, have quite forgotten what was telling you the other day.
 Smith (gratefu;ly)-Thanks. - Mail and Express.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

Commissioner Wrigh', of the United States Bureau of Labor Statistic, in his report on convict labo, will sug ges', as has been done by other inves,i- gators that the solution of the convict iaboe problem lies in the employment of tho coavicts upon hand work solely for tho account of the state.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
A Foolish Question.

Featherly-"Howm much time did you get on that suit, Dumley9"
 Dumley Gndignantly)-"Timea Not any. Ipay cash for what l buy"
 Featherly (meekly). 'I beg your par den, old man; that was very foolish question" ........- -.
 Dumley-''Why foolishf'
 Featherly-'I suppose you have tc pay cash for what you buy. ."--[Bazr.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

Lightning struck . flock of flying gecae in California recently, and killed six of them. What will be thought oi this by people who believe that the place of safety in thunder storm is the middle of feather bedi
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
"That's a sham" growled Jo

''That's sham," growled Jones, as his pillow which had appeared full and soft to the eye, collapsed beneath the pressure of his head Yes" returned Smith with philosophical composure, "a pillow sham"
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

The time from Shanghai to New York Is now sS days and, allowing eight days for crosaing the Atlantic, this gives S6 days between Shanghai and Liverpool This beats the quickest time on tho Suez route by eight days.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
Worth a Trial,

An Austrian physic an says that nine times out of ten headache can be ale most instantly cured by swallowing n spoonful of salt dissolved in quantity of water sufficient to enable tho sufferer to driAk it,
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06
CmlsehsQt Western News
PUBklsHED AT cAaAAH, uTehFiELD co CONN, EVERY WEDNESDAY, MORNING.
S C BECKLEY, Editor and Propriebr.
Local News a Speciality.
rERMs,

rERMSs
 &40o per ysar, H paid strictly In advanes. If not paad ct tho expiration of three months Na1G WiH be charged.
 6ahsoribers desiring their pApers dlsoon- siAusd muut give notice at the ANIMATION of sh1e subscriptions, any previous notice not Ss1lg suAclsnt; and unless an axrsaraGss ere paSA p9psss wM not then bs discontinued >avs e t6s epRoa ef the pubhshse.
Connecticut western news., 1887-07-06

Short and swect-stick of candy. = In favor of protection-,ho old maid. Acrobats report that business is jump
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18
MOLINE.

Mayor Schillinger has returned from
the north.
Mr. Lobdell's Two daughters, accom-
panied by their cousin. Miss Shaw. ar
rived home from Chicago last night.
Hanna, wife of James Patterson, Of
hampton township, died near the coal
bank on Saturday. The funeral will be
from the Catholic church, and interment
at Rock Island Catholic cemetery
The horses and wagons of johnson,
ex>express man, sold by Constable Mapes
Saturday. brought S311, a very good
price. This lacks over 800 of paying
the mortgage in full.
The police shot horse yesterday,
found in a stable nearly dead from star
walton. 1t belonged to colored man
who was unable to attend to it on &C.
count of sickness.
A. E. Mapes has secured what may
be called memento mori. 1t is an old
copper cent found In the grave of II rebel
soldier on the Island. Tie body was
being removed to the south by friends
On Saturday afternoon horse became
| frightened at something during the pas
sage of motor, jumped 10 the side Of the
street and fell. 1t got up again and in
few minutes fell dead
Miss Jessie Christy, daughter Of the late
James Chrsty. brother of Joseph NJ,
was united in marriage at her uncle S
house in Des Moines, last Monday, to Mr.
Franz Smith ~ Miea
Christy was formerly clerk in the post
| office here
In the report of the suicide OF August
| Peterson in Saturdays ARGUS, a mistake
was made by saying that his wife brought
him bottle. 1t did not come out in
evidence that she knew anything of his
having the bottle. After he weut out to
the barn, and took the dose, lie came to
the house. went up stairs and shortly
after called his wife, telling her where she
could find the bottle of poison in the
barn, This she went out and found.
F. w. Calkins has returned from hi:
trip to California. He met several old
residents of Moline on the route, Henry
Sales and C. Waltersst Denver, and Arthur
Gunnell at Salt Lake who has charge of the
Union Pacific coal fields there He witness.
ed the wrecking of the Whaler Atlanta a,
San Francisco, two only escaping out Of
thirty-tive. He met Mr. Bens, for,
merry of the stove company, who will
/ probably stay there. Saw Neil Hubbard
at Los Angeles Neil is connected with
a furniture mandatory. He came
back by New Mexico. stopping over al
LosVegas. He was gone about five
weeks. He says California has good
climate, but that is all Fruits are higher
there than in Chicago.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18
BRIEFLETS.
Nice bananas at Boros under the bank

Nice bananas at Boro's under the bank
A teachers certificate has been issued
to Charles B. Marshall, of Cordova.
st. Patrick's benevolent society will
hold their seventeenth annual ball on
March II.
This is probably the introduction OF
the mild and open winter the weather
crank predicted.
The concert of the Ninth street NJ. E.
church will be held on Thursday evening
January. 90. 1887.
Mrs. W. A. Ross has given up her trip
to California. She had intended to &C,
company her sister, Mrs. q. W. kret>
Finger, of Chicago.
Mrs. Philip Barth of Springfield, arriv-
ed last night for visit with her sons. the
Doctors Barth. 1t is whispered that an
important family event will occur before
her return.
The Chicago. Rock Island & Pacific
railway will sell round trip tickets from
Rock Island to st. Paul, MINI, on &C
count of the ice carnival Jan. 10 Good to
return on or before January 90, 20,
and 30 for S1110.
The body of the late Dr. R. NJ Swan
der arrived in the city this morning, and
was taken to the residence of his brother
iE-law, Geo Marshall, in Sinnett's ad-
dition. from which the funeral occurred
The interment was at Riverside cemetery,
Moline
George Wagner, the brewer of this
city, has engaged ex-Ju1ge Walter
Hayes, of Clinton, Iowa, and Hon. ]. ].
Russell, of Muscatine. to defend him in
the case growing out of his beer seizure
at Muscatine on the 10Th inst, as hereto,
fore described in the ARGUS. The case is
being tried in Muscatine this week.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18

Col. J. G. Baylor, commandant at Rock
Island arsenal, is in daily expectation f
an official visit from Col. Silas Crispin, of
Benecia arsenal. California, who with
himself constitute an examining board
for the purpose of examining officers who
are in the line of promotion, rendered
necessary by the death of Col. McAllis.
ter, late of Governors island, New
York. Lieut. Col. Whlttemore, of Weter,
velet arsenal, is TO be examined with re,
ference to his promotion to the vacant
colonelcy. Lieut. Col Mordecai. of
Governors island, is the third member of
the board for the examination Of Major
Parker, of WATERFOWL arsenal, Mas
sachusetts, with reference to promotion
to the lieutenant colonelcy, and of
Captain John A. Cross, OF s.. Louis
arsenal, for promotion to major.
The examinations will occupy two days
time. Captain Parker was subaltern on
the Island under General Rodman, and
was transferred soon after Col. Flagler
became commandaut He has a nun Der
of acquaintance here.
Since the death Of Colonel McAllister
Colonel Crispin and Colonel Baylor are
the Oldest officers in period of service in
the ordnance corps, with the exception Of
General Benet, chief of the corps. All
the officers named are graduates from
West Point, starting with commission Of
second lieutenan General Benet in 1S49
Colonel Crispin IN 1862, Colonel Baylor
in 1857, Lieut.. Col. Whittemore in 1860
Major Parker in 1861, and Captain Cross
| at later date The arsenal is SO cen.
trally located that General Benet has Sc
lected it as the place of meeting of exam
lining and other boards ordered in his
corps
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18
TRADE DEPRESSION IN ENGLAND.
The Royal Commission Finds Numerou,
Reasons Therefor

LoNn0N, Jan 1S-The conclusions arrived
at by the royal commission on the depression
Of Traie, WHOSE report was published Mon
day, are, though ingenious, neither satisfac-
tory nor important. The commissioners ara
dlvid II in opinion as to the causes of the de
preston. and have resolved into three groups
each suing a report. Perhaps the report
signed by the Fair Traders" of whom
there are four in the commission, is the mos,
Interesting, arguing as it does that although
it was found that trade has been depressed
the falling off has not been disastrous to the
nation, but, on the contrary, the country
has been benefited by it. To show this The
report states that on iy special trades and in
iu5fl-ie, have sulf ,re1 and holds that sta
ti,tics establish the fact that the depression
exists more anon; cap talists than among
the class who labor.
The chief causes to which the depression il
as"ribed, as gathered from the testimony
taken, are: OYerproduction; the continuous
cline of prices, the result of the apprecia-
lion of the standard of value; the effect OF
foreign houaties and tariffs and the restrict
i've commercial policy of foreign nations,
limiting our markets foreign competition.
watch is beginning to be felt in British and
neutral markets: increased local taxation
and burdens on industry generally; the lower
rates of transportation which our foreign
competitors enjoy; legislation affecting the
employment of la Dor i'll industrial ventures
aud the superior technical education Of work
men in foreign countries
Some trades and industries, it Is found
have been mora seriously affected than Others
owing to the inordinate prolongation of the
crisis, agriculture having been the pal
sufferer Next comes textile manufa ctures,
vi which all kinds have felt the
depression 1t is not shown, how
ever, that the foreign trade has shrunb
la volume, neither has there been a depre.
citation of the amount of capital invested
therein, while the aggregate commodities
grown or manufactured for foreign or home
consumption and the accumulation of CAPT
| tni throughout the country romans unim-
ptrsl On tia contrary, there in muct
complaint of overproiu elton, in consequence
col which manufacturers in certain lines have
b 'an compelled to accept lower prices and
>un ,lier potts
The report implies substantially the fol
| iuwiag view of the commercial situation
There has been i'll the exchangeable value Of
the pro ducts of the soil Il very serious de
cline AMI in nearly every other class o
goods increased production with a tendency
| generally to over-supply the demand, entail
| Iug diminished profits nd decreased return,
| fran ,.npital invested
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18
Police Points.

Miss Anna Shelladeboul, of Gslena,
who yesterday recognized in Albert Pc
terson, arrested in this city some time
ago, as one of the fiends who assisted in
accomplishing her ruin. afterwards went
to Davenport for the purpose of identify
ing txo tramps in the city prison there,
but they were not the ones. Sheriff Nc.
Donald. of 10 Davies county, took Pc
terson back with him last night.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1887-01-18
THE PRESENTS.


Chief among the presents were:
A gold headed cane; a silver water set;
two pairs gold spectacies: gold ring,
gold lined sugar spoon, two five dollar
gold pieces: Il gold breast pin, a gold
lined tobacco box; three pairs of slippers
bread plate, and silk apron from friends
in Rock Island and Henry counties. Two
chairs from Geneseo friends; table. scarf
and fpe flowers from relatives in
Green county,
A letter was received from Henry B.
Little, of Grennell, Iowa, { who is a
brother-in>l law of Mr. S. B. Stoddard of
this city, and who was one of the earliest
settlers and first sheriff of Henry county.
Mr.. Little extended his congratulations
and hopes for continued happiness to his
old friends, and expressed his regret at
not being able 10 be present on the inter
csting occasion.
Mr.. Jonas Bear of this city, relates an
interesting circumstance connected with
his first acquaintance with Mr. Glenn.
1t was twenty years ago, and Mr.. Bear
had Just arrived from the old country.
He was peddler and could not utter a
word of English. He was told by one of
mis- own nationality and craft that near
Colona if he go, out in the country
and wished place 10 stay over night,
and he went to James Glenns house be
could get it. One night he did so, pre-
senting card on which was written
Can | stay over night" He staid,
and since that time Mr.. Bear has risen
to rank among Rock Islands foremost
merchants, and has been one Of Mr.
Glenn's most intimate friends since.