News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-06-30
THE MYSTERIES OF A DAY.
NOTABLE EVENTS THAT ARE
FOUND WORTHY OF RECORD.
a Notable Caye-A Bats Bite-The
Detective-The Best Locomotive
"A Wonderful Thing, Etc, Etc.

IT is said that in Portland, Me-, there
is man with false nose, Il glass eve,
but three fingers and thumb, one car,
false teeth, false hair, and a cork leg
For all tins he is the hveiest man in
POrtl md. He walks ten miles gevery
day ram or shine. He has had three
wives, and survives them all, and has
refused five chances to get married
again, so he says, since he buried his
last wife, about a year ago.
A CHILDISH remark very often pune
lures the assertions of an older head.
A friend at the tea table, speaking of
the necessity of courtesy and the man
ner III which it distinguished gentle
man from a boor, said: Il invariably
lift my hat to lady acquaintance ON
the street. But, pa, remarked his
little daughter, ''you don't lift your hat
to mother when you meet her on the
street; she's one lady you don't do it to,
know"
A FEW months ago Miss Jennie Sulli
van of Fonda, n. l., was taken with
hiccoughs, and the affiiction has IN
creased until her friends have abandoned
hope of her recovery. Her sutferings
have been SO great that she is physical
wreck, and can neither sit nor lie down,
nor can she sleep unless under the in
fuence of ether, the only thing thus far
found able to alleviate her sufferings.
When one OF her spasms comes on she is
raving with delirium.
The National Bureau of Statistics
shows that on the 500, 000,0 which
annually passes into the tills of the re-
tailers of intoxicating liquors in this
country, there is a profit of 1885, per
cent. If poor people had to pay such II
tax as that on bread there would be n
rebellion. But when a man losses off a
glass of whisky and pays cents for the
drink and Z or s cents to the barkeeper
for the trouble of handing it to him, he
generally thinks the barkeeper an
awfGlly good fellow.
THE best of us are liable to ''run
short in emergencies. L saw man
worth a million at least borrow So from
clerk in a county Office the other day,
and upon another recent occasion q gen
tleman who has an income of at least
$4,000 borrowed a small gold coin
from a union depot official. A gentle
man who has his $50, 900 annually as
suGed asked the loan of fifty cents from
an expressman on Fifth street. All OF
which goes to show that the capitalist
may be caught in an awkward predlca-
ment at times.
THE Michigan cadets attribute part of
their success at the Washington drill TO
their mascot. When they were on their
way East a colored bOotblack got on
the train at Toledo to steal his way to
Washington. The conductor was about
to put him off when the cadets inter
ceded and paid his fare. He hung
about the camp during the encampment,
and while the boys We're drilling for the
prize they won he sat on the fence and
cheered. Col Rogers, the principal of
the school, will take him back to Or
chard Lake and educate him.
LITTLE Barney Mcmahon, the seven
year-old son of prominent citizen of
San Bernardino, Cal, Swallowed a couple
of thieves who were prowling about In
the bush near his fathers ranch, few
miles out of the city, and, after discover
ing the spot where they had secreted q
mass of stolen plumber, mounted horse,
and rode to town and notified his father.
He then guided officers to the robbers
hiding place and the stolen property was
recovered. The citizens are making up
a purse for little Barney to show their
appreciation of his detective ability.
THE curious feature in the bats bite,
says an African traveller, is that 1t is
hardly ever felt, even when the person
attacked is awake. 1 myself had a re-
maFkable illustration of this, and stood
with man who was remarking that he
could not understand how people always
got so unaccountably bitten, though
while he was actually making this re-
sfaFk an -aEask- -bat-Was- sucking one
of his toes, as was evidenced by the bat
being seen by me and himself to fiutter
away, while the mans toe, to his great
surprise, was found to be bleeding Sc
Verely.
A WONDERFUL thing happened in
Louisa county, Va, recently, if we may
believe a local paper. A Northern lady,
Mrs Eaton, died, and white handker-
chief was folded in four layers and put
over her face. When they took the
handkerchief off there were four dis
tinct pictures of the lady on it, the size
of quarter of a dollar. Spirits of
camphOr had been put on the lady's face
Just before her death. DR.. Z. S. Pendle-
ton, who attended the lady, has the
handkerchief, and will show it to any
one, or reply to any questions regard
ing this matter.
A BREACH OF-PRONIIsE action Will prob
ably be heard shortly in Dublin in which
n parrot will figure prominently. An
elderly professional gentleman, engaged
to pretty young lady in her teens, was
visiting her father and knocked at the
study door. A parrot he had presented
TO the young lady shrieked out, ''COme
in come in - and ON suddenly entering
the room he found his fiancee seated on
the sofa with young man uncoll1ng his
arm from her waist, the parrot meanwhile
Initiating the sound of kissing and con-
Guiding with mOcking laughter. The
marriage WAS broken off and an action
for breach of promise raised. The de-
PENDANT pleads justification.
ALEXANDER Brown, a negro barber
of Washington, WAS standing at bar
in company with one of his white GUS
toners, when q bystander remarked:
-'Thats something l can't stand-drink-
ing beside a niger. It's n regular
thing in this city, and they have too
many privileges, anyhow" Brown said
nothing, and when he got out on the
pavement he again met the man, who
made another insulting remark and said,
81 would like to lick a niger tonight. p"
He squared of, and the next thing he
knew he lay ON the pavement, knocked
out by one blow from the BARRIERS first.
Brown was arrested, and the judge dis
missed the complaint.
A DoG-LovING family on Staten Island
has remarkably intelligent pet. Dis
I;ussing his wit, one day, it was proposed
TO send him upstairs for his mistress's
wrap. But first one of the ladies went
IIp-stairs, laid the wrap on the floor, and
sat down on it with her sewing. The
Ilog was sent, and quickly found the
wrap. Vainly he tugged at it, first ON
one side and then ON the other, Dis
uouraged, but not dismayed, he paused
for moment, when, suddenly making
dive, he seized the sewing in his teeth,
and ran toward the fire. His opponent,
now off her guard, ran after him to res
cue her work. This was enough; the
dog dropped the sewing, ran for the
wrap, and bore it in triumph to his mis-
tresS.
SAYS a Mexican mine owner: eve
Usually have trusty men who act as de
fectives and work around in the mine
picking up information. In this way
we discover many strange devices to
smuggle out the mineral. One day a
detective came tome and said when such
,nd such men came ont to examine their