The Sunday morning news. [volume] (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1886-1891, 1887-05-08
FUN.

Policemen belong to the arrestocracy.
One a ere enough-Especially if it be q
tender corn.
After all, the greatest fishery trouble is
when they won't bite.
hostler may be notorious rascal, and
yet be truthfully called stable man.
Positive, wait comparative, waiter; su-
perlatiye, do it yourself if you want it
done.
Doctors who can speak only one language
seem to understand great many different
tongues.
Wife-"Will you take me to the opera
to night, dear" Husband-''Yes, go and
undress."
An exchange says that when one is caught
in burning hotel he should keep cool. It
is a great truth.
Tramp-''I have lost an arm, sir; will
Passer by Tin great heste) -. Sorry; but
haven't seen anything of it.
Pretty School Teacher-sT Thomas, state
one of the beauties of education +" Thomas
oldest boy in school -School ma'ams.
''Say, do you think it's true that red
headed girls are quick-tempered?' Gun
ah-suppose you ask one of them about
it?"
An agricultural exchange informs US at
what ''time in the moon to plant corn" In
this section farmers prefer to plant their
corn in the earth.
''Do you rectify mistakes here?" asked a
gentleman as he stepped into drug store.
Eyes, sir, we do, if the patient is still alive"
replied the urbane clerk.
"Anotber terrible washf ut" remarked
Semaphors. s'Where?" asked the superin-
tendent. 'Down at the Chinese laundry"
And the superintendent said he did hate q
fool
Somebody claims to have discovered q
substance which is 1900 times as sweet as
sugar" The substance" is supposed TO
be about eighteen years old, and TO wear a
hustle.
Bobby was at church for the first time,
and after he had dropped nickel into the
contribution box he turned to his mother
| and whispered audibly, "Ma, that man
didn't ring up my fare
President Spaulding has made up good
base ball nine for the coming season. He
| has purchased an extra large milk pitcher
and will p ace it in the ''centre field" as it
| is said to be the best ''hy catcher in the
| world.
The biggest woman in the world is in a
Philadel, hia dime museum. She weighs
/ 747 pounds. This lady had husband
! once, but she sat on him and the neigabors
were obliged to bury him between tW9
sheets of paper.
''1'd like TO have horse and buggy for a
few hours, said Snaggs to livery stable
keeper. San right, was the reply. (which
horse viii you takt?' "As I expect to be
gone until long after dark perhaps you had
better give me night mare"
Chicago man swallowed 81 coo United
| States bond to save it from a burglar, and
/ the comptroller has refused to issue a
duplicate to him. We don't see Why the
comptroller could be expected to do other
wise The Chicago man is in 81 900.
Mrs. Ikeltein-''Run nit der doctor. kerr
! wick, Solomon; de paby ish swollowt a
silver tollar!" Mr.: I-''Vos it dot Won ]
left on der dablee" Mrs I-ssYes, dot vos
| it; hurry nit der doctor" Mr. I-ssDon'd
get excited, Rajel, it vos gounderveit."
| A Washington paper says the President
has rot altered any in his manner since his
marriage; that when he is introduced t.,
any one he simply shakes hands, bows,
smiles, speaks few words, and passes on
There was a rumo- going round that :
twisted his friends arm, threw La !
somerset. and yelled defT tly.
The styles of nj ckwear Introduced by Baron this
season, SUI erior to all others II a. the ii -
4 of custom runs to Newark avenue.