The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1887-09-14
PITH AND POINT.

Jurymen, of necessity, often get in
trying situation. 8. 3
A man who does business on large
scale-A coal dealer. -
The Atlantic is crossed in love every
time bridal party goes over.-SJtings.
It cannot ne truthtully said that the
fraudulent coffee dealer doesn't know
beans. .5S .5f
A wealthy grandfather always receives
the respect and veneration due to old
age.-LJe. '--s
A Connecticut woman has invented Q
hustle which she says has never been worn
before. Isn't that peculiarly of most
bustles 2 50
Librarian (recording the condition OF !
book: "Page At hole (turns the
leaf, page 4s another hole. Fliegendt
Blaetter. lssS 6:
Paper bottles have just been intro
duced. That will never do. What wiH
we have to throw at the midnight cat2-
Boston Post. y. z *
An experienced boy says he regards
hunger and the schoolmaster's rattan az
about the same thing, as they both maks
him holler. -.
When the poet said the wind was blow.
ing free he probably referred to what in
nautical parlance is known as "a dead
head wind."-LJe.
The pilot is the most friendly man.iD
the world. He never meets steamer
without asking the Captain to drop hims
line.-Pittsburg Chronicle. 81
"I'm coming, my darling, through thu
tall, waving corn," says new love song
Been stealing her old mans pumpkins,
most likely. Dansoue Breeze.
"My little cat is favorite term Of
endearment with frenchmen. A.French,
man, however, who applied it to hii !
Yankee sweetheart found that he had
stroked the fur the wrong way.-Boston !:
Transcript. #
Everything am I owe to my wife,
said pompous man in the course Of. hhSS
lecture. "Well, you're doing blamss
poor business in your wife's nameW sang
out bootblack from the gallery. .-Nese
man Independent. s.s:s
Old Gentleman-"M what nicelit
tie boy you are, aren't you 2" Small
Boy-"No, I amt no nice httlsn
boy, neither I'm Dutch Sickles, de,:
terror. and I can lick anybody my sizs
around here. ."-LJs.
1t is singular phase of human nature
that when man gives his wife a dime
to buy box of hairpins or gum ring
for the baby il looks about seven times q
big as when he planks it down for bit :
ters.-Shoe and Leather Reporter. "a
AN OLD TRUTH UPSET.
A splendid lieutenant from Skye,
Was as thin as the capital ; a
He said Its too bad,
But then can pad"
Life. Z.
A Young Astronomer.-A little four
year-old was much impressed with heI,
first out-of-doors in the starlight. On
her arrival home she skipped joyfully W .
to her mother with the glad tidings
"Oh, mammal I've seen the moon and
all her childrens. ."-Harper's Aagasine.
1t is seriously proposed to provide eacl
night policeman in England with largt'
dog. 1t has been a matter of surprise u
us that this has not been done before. IT
is difficult to comprehend how an office
can dog the steps of criminal when htt
has no dog. The dog supplies long
felt want.-Sytinqs. >--J.
Only the sweet bouquet,
Set with exquisite grace;
Only a choice nosegay, .y.s
And a passing pretty face;
Only dainty curl,
And a murmuring lingering hum;.
Only Pittsburg girl,
Chewing roll Of gum. r.
National Weekly.
A Cincinnati pastor, in announcing 10
his congregation that he was about to
leave for his vacation, added: "During
my absence my brother will occupy tho
pulpit and will take great pleasure in
responding to calls, especially funeral
calls, from the members of this church
while Pm away."-7roy Times.
It is said that nature shudders ~.
When a woman throws stone,
And that when she sharpens pencils
Then all nature gives groan.
But there's nothing that gives nature
More keen anguish and distress
Than to see struggling father -
With babe he tries to dress.
Judge.