The Wilmingtonian., 1887-06-11
BURpETTE.
Editorial Jea'ousy - sleepy Deacon - An
Incubator Hatched Chicken.

Editorial jealousy - Sleepy Deacon - An
Incubator Hatched Chicken.
Yes said Mr. Slimwit, as they were walk
ing home. II do enjoy the theatre; once
wrote a play myself" "0h, Mr.. Slimwit,"
she exclaimed, with genuine enthusiasm, did
you really, though! And what was it about,
and when did gou write it, and was it II sue
cess, and did ever see it played" Il don't
know that you ever did, lie said, in slow,
conscientious tones. ut was only Il short,
one act play: it was a play upon the word
'fair;' rnng in something about the fare
charged by the fair at the fair not being fair.
| cannot tell lady what the editor called
me, but can never forget it. And not ten
days afterward | saw that very same thing
in his paper as original" Il believe all
editors are Jealous of other writers, said Miss
Giddigirl, because onre pa wrote an article
nominating Mr.. Cleveland for president, long,
long before anybody else thought of him, and
signed it Taxpayer ~ that's pas nom de
plume; he writes all these articles signed
Taxpayer'-and after election he went TO
find it to settle a dispute, and the editor had
cut the whole copy Of that paper out of the
file, and said they never published paper on
she 9Th of July; and everybody knows it is
the 18th Of July is the holiday, and not the 9th; !;
pa told him so, too, and the editor said If pa
didn't get rooms i'll an icehouse he wouldn't
keep through the summer"
II don't see why you can't keep awake i'll
church" said the pastor. u am there as long
as yon are and | don't have to sleep half the
time" "Oh, we'll" replied the deacon, "you
just sit down in the pew and let me preach
and Ill bet new organ you couldn't keep
your eyes open ten minutesn
"You say You stumped Texas for the Pro
hibition ticket What pecularity Of your
audiences struck you most forciblyf well, y
said the missionary, ''the chunks of clay and
pieces of brick struck me most forcibly, but
the eggs stayed by me the longest"
A French scientist, who divines character
by simple inspection Of nOses says that the
quick, passionate, SaHguine person has a
strongly colored nose of uniform shade, '
This gives lis a most accurate estimate OF the
character OF the American tramp, whose
strongly colored nose does not vary its uni
form shade with season or climate. And yet
he has never been accused OF being quick.
Perhaps it means that he is quick not to
work
"Where have YOU been all day." asked Mr..
Tret "Down town." replied his Wife "Gos-
sip and tattle, reckon!' mo, sir; financial
politics: I've been reducing the surplus
"Yor don't know anything about it, snarled
the old man; you're just like any woman
when she tries to talk politics; you've been
increasing the deficit, that's what you've beer
doing"
AN INCuBAToRs OFFSPRING.
am a lone. unfathered chick,
| OF artificial Matching; .....
| pilgrim in desert wild,
| p,.h ha,Nt 9th nI NH nl-c 1uI
From all relationships eXiled,
| To do my own lone catching,
| Fair science smiled upon my birth
| one raw and gusty morning,
| And now the sounds of barnyard Rirtl
| To lonely me have little worth;
| am alone in all the earth
| An orphan without borning
| Seek my mothers would find
| heartless persunator;
| A thing brass hiled, man designed.
| With steamppe arteries intermined
And pulseless cotton batting lined
| patent incubator.
II wearies me to think, You see--
Death would he better, rather
Should children e'er be born to me,
BY fate's most ptiless decree
My little ones, alas, would he
With never a grandfather.
And when TO earth bid adieu
To seek greater,
] will not do as others do,
Who go to join the ancestral crew,
For will just be gathered to
My incubator. Brooklyn Eagle,