The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-10-15


see physician. dear; have such bad
(impetIentIy) Bah! 50 has the type
writer girl az the otllce and she's
bright as cricket an the time. Live
licr she Is the worse spells she mas
III LAtrT INFORMATION.
"Arr you the cow asked the boarder
from town. pansing before the pump"
NO" replied the pump. speaking
through his nose like 4 true American,
IL am the milk made. Hnw, haw,
haw.r The next morning che awe
stricken guest ate bis Cruel in silence.
nor once complained when be found
water spider IN the cream.
TOOK pLEAsANT, You vuLAsN.~
Some pililanthropists always make
us think of story that Is told OF
Frederick Of Prussia. The King had
way OF going around like common
mortal and holding brief conversations
with his subjects, which were pretty
sure 10 terminate in some decidedly
unpleasant remark by the monarch.
One day he paused 10 speak 20 a Jew,
but the wary Hebrew took To his heels.
The King pursued. and after brisk
chase overlook the flying subject.
"Why did you run away from me, ras-
CALI" Because, frankly admitted
the Hebrew. II was afraid Fritz
hit him tremendous whack with his
cane. "Villainl' he roared. ~ don't
want TO be feared want TO be loved"
MEN or LETTERS.
A Wisconsin court has decided that
husband can open his wife's letters.
Now, III there was only some way of
getting law passed compelling a
husband to mail his wife's letters some
time the same year that she gave them
TO him the women wouldn't care "a
snap about this other decision. And
then, perhaps. in the interest Of uni
versal peace. IL should be made pen
itentiary oifense for n wife TO give her
husband any letters 10 mail; or, IL she
does. she should never again refer 10
them in any way. How is "a man TO
feel happy, how is he 10 have any feel
ing of peace OF content in his heart al.
day, when in the morning his wife
stands before him. holding one hand
hidden behind her back. and says
sweetly, did you mail that letter
gave you yesterday" How does he
know whether that letter is still in his
inside coat pocket. whether he may
not, IN "A moment OF temporary insan-
ity or transient alteration. have mailed
il. How can he be positive that he
did even IL il isn't In his pocket. while
she stands in that misleading attitudeg
How does he know what 10 sayY HOW
does hey say, there's heaps OF law
needed on this subject before II can he
satisfactorily adjusted.
HEAVENS LAsr. BEST oIFTEss.
The Boston Globe has something 10
say about "female equestrienne."
Amaricanne womenne, we may remark
in passing. are as rule better eques-
triennes than pedestriennes, although
that they do some tall walking on
their shopping circumstances is beyond
qnestlenne. still, while she may shine
more brightly as a rideress than as "A
walkeress, let us never forget how
much we owe Ia womenne as cous-
mess, a sistercss' and wifess, and so
let us always endeavor To indicate her
sex so plainly that there may be no
mistake.
RIGHT FROM THE VIAL.
A scientific journal has an article
headed. How TO Taste We haven't
had time TO read IL. but our own idea
is that IL depends great deal on
what you are going 60 taste. II IL Is
quinine or castor oil or ANYTHING OF
that sort IL won't require any previous
training or u university education 10
enable you 10 taste all you want OF IL
in one brief. hasty swallow. The poor
immigrant, who Is still sitting on
green trunk in Castle Garden, and
hasn't been in this country long
enough even 10 make the soration at
the Constitutional Centennial or get
on the police, can taste IL with one
hand tied behind him just as easily as
John l.. sullivan or President Eliot or
any other man OF science. But IL IL Is
something real good. something that
you like better and get less OF than
any other man in America, you want
neck "a yard long. full Of all sorts of
back stops and hampers all the way
down. That Is the theory OF an un-
lettered man who tastes by main
strength and natural selection, and IL
| fair Science thinks she has better
way we'd like To trot her one heat,
anyhow. just for fun.
AcoLD DAY ~ sEPTrNBER.