The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-01-13

| ldence that you think she oughtn't to.
The man who can go through ice-cutting
without taking drink, may be considered safe
| -
The doggery-keeper puts hungry look
and waits for the reaction" Let him wait
boys.
| There's one way it would work well-put the
doggeries out of town, then keep away from
them.
Ofice-seekers should have mercy on the Pres
ident. 1t makes his legs tired to be annoyed by
| them.
The Democrats are sort o. bulling things in
the Indiana Senate. Wehaven't any Bob Ken
nedys over there.
| Our Democratic exchanges boast that Gen.
Logan was once Democrat The General nev-
| er Dragged about it.
mastodon's head was dug up last week in
Clermont County. Go to Democratic county
for fossils, every time.
The liquor dealers of Atlanta claim they are
still juggling along through the world. They
now furnish rye-in-rock.
Republicans, Prohibitionsts and Greenback-
ers, do their "stuffing" about Christmas. Dem
ocrats do theirs In November.
-.
The person who goes to church .'only to see
the fun" is liable to have his or her eyes blind
ed by smoke, in the near future.
In Indiana the Democrats put b.llot-box
suffers into office. In Ohio the Republicans
put them into the Penitentiary.
80
The way to establish reputation for social or
hU1Cir
praises. You can't do it yourself.
A Wyoming trapper loves to sit along the
creek banks, where he can smell the musk-rats.
He says it reminds him of society at home
If Bayard should die, Cleveland would spruce
up and get well. He don't want Dan Manning
in the White House. Dams Too smart .nan.
1t is claimed that Cleveland has been gaining
in flesh ever since he was elected Sheriff. A
second Presidential term would explode him.
-
Cincinnati had colored preacher named
Louis Vinegar. His congregation got into
row, and the affairs ended in general pickle.
50 I" ,
high school graduate over in Indiana read
an essay forty pages long-and at last accounts
his auditors were still sleeping. None had died.
Some men refuse to sustain local option
measures on account of laziness. They don't
want to walk outside of the corporation several
times day.
Lamar is 6. shrewd one. He permitted anoth-
er fellow to marry his sweetheart, make her
fortune, and die-then he steps in t6 enjoy the
whole business.
A Cincinnati paper heads an article: .'Did
Otto z=opin Rob Himself?" If he lived in Gin
cinnati, and drank Cincinnati liquor, it's quite
likely that he did.
They closing butterine factories by law, in
pennsylvania. To eat 1t renders it too costly to
grease the wagons with and something had to
be done.
The Times-Star thinks'temperance sentiment
is phenominally growing-but not in favor of
prohibiting the liquor traffic. That proposition
is odd enough for place in Democratic plat
form.
At Fredericktown, Ohio, local prohibition
carried by 152 to l6, The Devil had decidedly
poor representation in that town. That's prob
ably one of the spots that he wanted to trade
off, once
Mason Keaton, of Morehead, KY, fired shot
at John Rogers, at a dance. The bullets that
came back at him could hardly find room to
crawl into his body.
1t is claimed that the President "works 10
hard, and takes too little exercise" His grows
ing weight indicates that he exercises while he
works-hs jaws we mean.
s.z
The Democrats in the Ohio Senate endure
Bob Kennedy's gavel with the consoling
thought that Bob will soon be dancing to a
Dem ocratic Speaker, in Washington.
An Ohio man received bulldog for New
Years present, and the first day got finger Bit
ten of-the first instance of an Ottoman being
the loser in anything he took a hand in.
-.
Gov. Hil.says he won't visit the President
but he'll have 10. They must get together. The
mountain won't come to the Governor-so the
Governor must go to the mountain.
"Brown," said an admiring friend, "thinks
and speaks for himself. He has mind of his
own"
"Yes, because nobody else will believe him" T"
was the reply.
Texas has nearly six millions of dollars in the
State Treasury, to the credit of the School Fund.
all the School Fund in the Treas ury-unless
you can transfer it.
w. H. Richardson, Maryland editor, was
sentenced to two years Imprisonment and five
hundred dollars fine. The worst feature about
sentencing editor thus, is that he will have
to board out the fine, too.
DIR. ]. N. Doyle of Tennessee, went to Nash
Vile to lobby in the Legislature, and was ar
rested for murder committed twenty years
ago. We mention this to show the dangers of
the lobby.
The Laplanders are said to get drunk at every
wedding, and dance until they all fall In a heap
on the floor, where they lie till sober. So the
missionary work is progressing finely in Lap
land
The Wavegly Watchman says not Republi-
can paper has expressed any sorrow over the
death of Logan. By such stories as this, the
Watchman is trying to prove that 1t is more
Democratic than any other paper in the State.
Certainly none can beat it on that line.
Allen O'Myers has been writing up "Boom-
ingham," Alabama. There had been so much
said about The place that the Enquirer wanted
the truth. They sent Allen, and he told il. He
says it was the Pennsylvania tariff idea that
made the place.
Josh. Sharp, of Springfield, Ohio can tell you
how to take corn off of your toe. Josh. tried
it, He put caIbolic acid the toe, and the
corn is gone. So is the toe. Sc is one leg which
the doctors sawed off.
tlo T
Ohio. She wore twenty-five hundred dollars
worth of diamonds and was dressed in satin,
Think of appearing with twenty-five hundred
dollars worth of diamonds, before three-dollar
audience!
An insane soldier was taken to Washington
the other day who is said to have become par
aIyzed in answer to a curse he pronounced upon
himself. Among other features, his tongue be-