Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1887-01-08
A DREADFUL SITUATION.
TIE Experience OF Young Man Sent t.
Buy q Pair of Carriers.


Buy Pair of Carriers.
Shopping is essentially feminine art,
and the women ought TO attend to it them
selves. got friend into an awful lot OF
tronhle recently by giving him commits
SIGN. Coming home from the theater |
became aware OF something wrong where
couldn't conveniently get at it. A part OF
my standing rigging had worked loose, and
stocking was slipping down into a lot OF
miserable, uncomfortable folds about my
ankle OF course / had To-. a garter. Ny
companion noticed my preoccupied air and
inquired the cause, and when | told him
he jokingly inquired if he was expected to
make good all losses incurred while | was
under his protection. AS il would be in
convenient to go out in the morning, | ac-
cepted his suggestion and told him he could
get me pair on his way down town, and
send them up by messenger. The poor
man was yisibly agitated, but he wouldn'
back out, and ruefuliy accepted the COM
mission. He thought he would step into
Macy's first, but when he got there his
courage began to ooZe out The place was
full of women, and he thought they were
Just waiting for him to come in and ask for
carriers. Every woman who passed him
looked at him as though she knew what he
was after, and was silently laughing al
him. So he weakened, and kept on down
town. Finally he sneaked around a corner
when he thought nobody was looking, and
furtively lodged into the door of a small
store that seemed to be nice, quiet place
and to present possibilities of carriers, iudg.
ing by the works of art displayed in the
window. He stepped up to the counter
nearest the door and told the saleswoman
what he wanted in a way that indicated
great haste. l believe he added that be
wanted to catch train.
1--WE don't keep gents furnishings" she
replied.
Then he said he wanted them for lady
and she rejoined in her regular cash,
here" voice:
Next to the last counter on the Other
side for ladies' garters."
He was the only customer in the store
and all the clerks were young women, and
he braced up and started for the other enc
of the apartment, which looked like the
perspective OF a prairie railroad. 1t seemed
to him that he never would reach the van.
ishing point with all those girls looking al
him. He tried to walk firmly, and of course
tramped like horse. Then he essayed the
easy, unconcerned glide, scuffed along like
a school boy and caught splinter in the
BILE and lose both his balance and his self
command. He tried TO get his bearings
from the Autographs on the walls picturiug
all sorts of feminine harness in active sery-
ice. As the Autographs began to grow
more interesting he concluded he was
about in the latitude of garters, and pulled
up at a counter, his face red and his eyes
blurred, and asked the girl for garters, ex-
pecting her to hand them over forthwith
and put an end to the trouble. Poor little
innocent The young woman smiled
coldly and said:
What kind, please?"
ooh, the best you have" he replied
painfully conscious that his ears were blaz,
ing red.
But what style do you want2" she re-
joined, evidently enjoying his plight, He
didn't know. as / hadn't given him any
specifications. and probably it never before
occurred to him that there could be more
than one kind. 1t was useless for him to
attempt to escape. All the clerks were
watching him. or seemed to be. So he asked
what style was generally used and the
clerk proceeded to exhibit and explain the
various styles. She showed him suspender
carriers attached to waist belt, dress reform
carriers, carriers that hitch on TO the side OF
the corset, garters' of every imaginable
kind. and when he seemed dazed by her
description she took down Autographs and
infinitely pointed out the way of wearing
patent stocking harnesses. He was Devil
dered and helpless, and gszed at her APP
pealing for help. At last he stammered
What kind do you" but was checked
by an icy " SirV Then an inspiration of
genius, born of despair, came TO him, and
he blurted out
What kind would you be most likely to
lose off in the street,
He made his escape with pair Of old
fashioned circular elastics which no woman
who cares to preserve the natural curve and
shape of her limbs will wear, aud sent them
up by messenger, with . note begging to
be excused from further shopping errands.
These instruments of torture are in my
museum as memeatocs of masculine inca
pacity to master theintricacies of Il woman's
Delaying taekle.-Clara Belle.