davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
FULL 81 FUN.

IAN English writer says; 1.-THE girl
of England stands alone" That's Just
the difference; the girl Of America
always has host of admirers about
her. - iSomcrUI,e Journal
Scenes in Life Dream. -
]. A man in love; maid above.
g. lie twangs guitar and w0os his star.
3. man enraged; dog uncaged.
4. grip, groan, dog alone.
-"Well, old fellow, it's all settled.
l am going to be married IN two
months. You will be one of the wit
nesses, hopeP" Count upon me, l
rsver desert friend in misfortune.
An American youth sent n spring
poem 10 the King Of Italy and he i'm
mediately made him n knight An
American youth came into this Office
yesterday with n spring poem and we
Immediately made him All angel. =
american Commercial TraVeler.
"A pianist played an exasporating
piece for more than half on hour,
This is not astonishing." remarked
one; "he is deaf, he can not hear him.
self" "All right" responded another;
''give him a sign that he has finished. 4"
Some men are ever ready to offer
q remedy for every thing. The other
day we remarked to one of these ami
mated apothecary shops; "An idea
struck us yesterdaH"-and before we
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

kccrful. We would recommend to de
Guild populashun of dis kentry:
II. Ice cream should b, eaten slow
Aly an deliberately, dc chin well wiped
of wild red napkin rs soon MS posi-
bic afterwards. an dc victim should
beware of mental excitement or physi-
cal exershun fur an hour or two.
"2. Saltwater an ginger ale
should be paid fur in advance. Dis
gives de soda-man n chance TO look at
de money an find it all right an
saves dc customer any fear of hcyin'
to take to his legs an outrun anybody.
We doan' specify as to de quantity
which kin be safely surrounded. Some
pussons kin hold bar'l, while others
stop alta gallon.
-. Harvest apples an cow-cumbers
hev Stayed tens of thousands of inno-
cent people, but dey war all white
folks. While we doan' believe either
vegetable am harmful, it will DO well
to eat slowly chaw dc rinds an cores
very fine, an sit down in dc shade of
dc woodshcd fur half an hour after
eating
81. A watcrmcllyon fred from
cannon Mt cuIled gom'lan two feet
away might somewhat injo,rc his ply
steal corporosity but under no odder
circumstance kin we look upon de po-
duet wild even suspiShun. We believe
dat dc melon crop of dis kcntry fur dc
last five vars together wild de way it
was distributed about, has been dc
means of kccpin' cholera from our
doahs. Dan leave any core sticliin'
to de rinds.
20. We doan' recommend too much
washin' and cleanin'. d, 1nju1 am
de dirtiest pusson on dis arlh. an no
body cher knowed an lnjm to have
cholera or smallpox Kinder wash up
now and den, an sorter scrub up
lcetle extra on Sundays, an trust de
rest to carryin' an onion in your
pocket
sc. Leave dc window up when you
60 TO bel, frow some lime around the
back doah occasionally. an when
ol,leegcd to drink water shake in
leetlc pepper-sass." Detroit Free
Press
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

stubbs thard-headed proser, to Gush, ro-
mantle young poet Spose you work req
lar hours On your po'try business, don't yo,
Gushl Bone right down 10 it, and grind out
your grist every day. GOSH S'pose you
hey money Tollin in from the magazine edi.
tors by every mail
Gush-Oh, no; ] write for no MGR
cenary reward. 1tcnderly Woo the muse,
and speak only when the spirit moves,
place myself on lhu tripod and wait the
divine influence of the goddess. A poetic
soul, my good Mr.. Stubs, can not conhno
itself TO n slavlsh rystcm Of routine. / work
simply when the fit is on me. A man can
never write good poetry unless he IS in the
fullest communion with his own soul Ac.
cordingly, wnen my inspiration fails, / &c.
eept Walt Whitman's advice, and loaf and
invite my muse
Stubs tyho has tried to read his poetry
Hin. Guess she don't accept your invt
iatioa yer- >f.Eu. hiRoshl
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

grcelcd me ooiuiy, yet WIN dreamy sOrs
of Observation-Disclosures that made me think
her thoughts were far away.
~ have come, Irma," l said, "to endeavor
TO be friends with you. Let the past be
past; we can not alter it. ] know that you
have been brought up to think yourself AZ
heiress. Irma, people have honored ana
battered you bccimse you had wealth, and
ii is, Of course, great trial to you TO find
that such is not the case. Yet, l am not TO
blame for this, Surely you should feel no
enmity against mo for claiming only what is
my just right. We have not been TO blame,
Irma, you or I, for the wicked scheme. Let
us be friends. l helped your brother, let
me help you. My father left you n legacy
of five thousand. Please accept it, and
will aid you in any other way l can, also,
Irma did not answer me ut first. Her
face showed no emotion until / had finished
speaking. Then sho arose, her features
worknl convulsivcly, and came and stood
before M.
Il do NOS want your bonnty, Dorcas Gale
don,n she almost Kissed between her shut
teeth. "You have wronged me beyond re-
pair. Money, do not care for that, but you
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
Army Pigeon Lofts.


The militarists of Europe have a new
fad. Having exhausted their ingen-
uity increasing the size of guns for
naval and Landscape purposes and
having perfected the field telegraph
and field hospital service, no army in
Z lrope is now considered to b. in
proper condition to take the field with
out an abundant supply of pigeons
The pigeon loft is part OF the regular
paraphernalia Of every German gar
rison now; the French appropriate
large amounts annually for the birds,
and every Government in Europo is in
the race TO secure the best carrier
pigeon service. The French, indeed,
Mt the siege of Paris utilized the birds
continually, and quite long dispatches,
compressed into q small space by pho
Geographic reduction. We're sent one
bird carrying during the siege as many
as forty thousand messages safely. As
the pigeons average forty to forty-five
miles an hour, it is apparent that they
are of greater service than balloons,
since they possess the quality of dirig-
Utility. M y Nation.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

could finish he advised us: Rub the
affected parts with arnicaP'-Interior.
I'D like TO have horse and
buggy for few hours, said Snaggs
to livery-stable keeper, "All right, !"
was the reply (Which horse will
YOU take?" "As expect TO be gon o
until long after dark, perhaps you had
better give me the night-mare. lite
rior
DO you know the man who always
begins n story like this; "Of course, |
s'posc you've all heard it bcforc-I
don't tell it rs well as Jack Smith-you
ought to hear him tell it!-but, If it's
old, Just ring the bell and stop me-
I've got poor memory for stories any
way" etc. etc. - Puck.
II hope our chatter does not dis
turb you. sir" sal / miss to gentle
man who was composclly reading n
paper in the midst of the hubbub
caused by half dozen vlVacions
school girls. 20. not Mt all" was the
reply. 81 have eight daughters of my
own. Pittsburgh Dispatch.
--"What business were you in prior
to your being sent to this prison?' in
quircd Miss Dodson, of life convict
on VISITORS day at Sing Sing. Il was
moldcr, num-" "Ah, how nice. A
molder of public opinion, Ipresume
Were you in college or journalism"
Neither. mum-a stove nolder.
"A concert room is often full of con-
tradictioas; for if one notices the seats
and the people in them. one will often
find third-rate man in "a l." an
angry woman labelled "B O." noble
looking man markell * g." and a
dcpressed-looking individual with al
81 on his chair. The blk Office must
be more careful in sorting an audi
nrce. -Kusical Herald
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
THIS LlmsKiLM oLU5.
u PreclouS Committee Roplrt on Stnltary
Regulations for tho Hot s'a,on

Il Preclou' Commttec Roplrt on Sinltary
Regulations for the hot s'a,on.
The chairman Of the committee on
The safety of tho public health an
nouncad that he hal his report ready
for the simmer Of 1887 and being told
to proceed with it, he arose in his place
and real from n bluc-tintcl manu-
script rs follows:
Oar AM certain things TO be looked
out fur doorin' the heated sezuu. Do
fust thing on de list is cholera. Den
comes, in de regular order named,
yaller fever, consumpshun. biyus
fever fallin' into de ribber, gittin' run
obcr by street kyar an cholera NOR
bus. Boin' rested by do police an
sont mp fur sixty days mus be classed
as a misfortin instead of disease.
IDS hot sezun am de time 10 be
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
HIS PARTICULAR TASTE.
Why a New York Husband and Fathe
Changed Ills Brand OF Cigars.

why New York Husband and Father
Changed Ills Brand OF Cigars.
Can do anything for you?n polite
lylinquired the young man in charge
of a cigar store rs a stranger entered.
"Why, yes, l guess So" was the
rather slow reply. you make brand
of cigars called the Lurids,' don't
you?
Eyes, sir, we do"
"And you keep advertising that you
are bound to preserve the excellence OF
the brandt"
YES, sir"
"Well. I've boon smoking the Lurids
for couple of years past. and it,
only lately Two notice | change in the
TASTE. ! thought I'd drop in and see
about it,"
"Why, sir, we are using even better
tobacco"
"And the same filler5?"
Better filters, sir"
"Well, that's probably tho matter.
Up to fortnight ago they ha | beau
llIul taste OF tarfeu rope ana my wire
used to inhale the smoke for cattarrh.
Since that time they seem 10 have a
sort of shceptwine taste, and the smell
is like an old towel on fire. 1 was 60
ing to say that if -"
"Our cigars are made entirely of
chci:e tobacco, sir"
mo rope insideP'
No. STRIP
ooh, well, then guess I'll change
my brand. Tarred rope lays over
sheeptwine any day in the week with
me. and there's my wifes ca'arrh and
the baby's whooping cough to be con-
suited Sorry to have troubled you.
but all of us have our tastes, you
know. ~ y Sun
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
'nornin'. ;

"A lady who can manipulate fan
gracefully has now more than half OF
the battle in the art Of entertaining;
unconsciously, rs she sways it TO and
fro, she sways the mind of her listener,
for there is peculiar fascination
about motion which few can resist, and
which can be more easily felt than de-
scribed. II you do not believe that
you can be lured on into realms Of
fancy and waited high in the castles Of
air by the breeze of fan in pretty
womHn's hand, try it, and if, when she
suddenly snaps it together you don't
descend from the heights. then you are
an exception.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
IA-E-
WEEKLY AMERICAN,
Cash Premiums to Agents.

In order to stimulate effort on the part OF
agents, at this leisure season OF the year, to ex
tend the circulation OF the WHEKLY ANTRICLN,
the N management has determine TO ofer one
hundred and twenty cash premiums TO persons
who will engage In the wors. IL 10 hoped and
believed that the liberal amounts oncred will
cause an industrious rivalry throughout con-
tguous sections, and many thousa nds be induc-
ed to take the paper who have not heretofore
received IL. Not merely our regular agents arc
invited 20 engage in this composition but all
persons whatsoever who sec prorer /, contend
Tor the premiums offered A book will be OPEN
ed IN W sich every ageAt viii be iredited With
each name sent, beginning July rs 1851, until
Nov. /. 1887, at which time tile awAfds will ba
made according to results then ascerIAined, as
follONa.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

will not weary tho reader with minute
details of my establishment at Caledon
Heights, suffice IL that in less than three
months after Miss Armund's death found
myself installed as mistress there, though
could hardly make myself believe il, aad
it was long before cOuId mako myself at
home in the grand old house whose rooms
had once stolen through like thief. / then
turned my attention TO the Barretts and
Clnytons. They had at first attempted to
dispute my claim, but unable 10 do SO they
had vacated the Heights, refusing, how.
ever, to speak or recognize mo in any way
all except Bcrtie Clayton, who came TO Visit
mo and seemed really pleased at my rein.
station. He begged me earnestly, however.
10 go and SEQ II anything could be done for
Irving barrett; he was wild, reckless fcL
low, Bert declared, yet lie was his brother
and it drove him wild 10 think Of hi1 dis
grace. promised 20 do what could, but
feared IL would be little. / viii confess tina:
at first my hatred Of Irving Barrett and my
remembrance Of his unlsrd treatment OF
me for awhile hardened my heart and made
me half decide not 70 Keep NJ proElisc &c
Bert, especially when remembered Tho
blow 10 had given me and tho scar still
carried Of it on my temple. Bat rcaom.
berod the words: Except ye forgive We
can not be forgiven and relentod. Irma
COO, excited my sympathy, Ectt daca-uc
she was wearing herself 10 q sLaIow gricv
ing over her brothers misfortune aud re
fusing TO go out and see any enc. felt foi
thc girl after all proud and hlughty az she
was. This was n terrible blow to her, en-
gagged the services Of the best criminal law
yer in the State to defend Irving, and Will
the influence Of Mr.. Dudley, Mr. Lcibort
md Othor rich and influential men who's,
favor secured, and by u most liberal SUP
ply Of money managed 10 secure hving'e
acquittal
Whether he really felt the cxtraYaCnnt
expressions q gratitude ho expressed eat
not tell. But that he was exceedingly c,ur |
10 escape from the prcdicamcnts in TO which |
he had gotten himself am certain.
then proceeded 10 cfTcr the Barrotts The
amount Of the legacy provided for them in
my fathers will Irving took his share
eagerly and soon after left for To West |
But Irma utterly refused TO touch u ccut Of |
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
Tonsorial Torment-A Story Of
Barberism,

Every man who has ever been in a
barber shop has grown familiar with
the tonsorial artists bland and stereo-
typed "You next, SIR" When you
read the following experience of a
gentleman in North Carolina-an ex-
perience which thousands have suffer-
ed-the bland Knight of the Razor
Strop's stereotyped exclamation to
the new conner in his shop, will have
new and peculiar significance. Read,
and remember what to do in case you
should have a similar unfortunate
experience. Terry writes:
REIpsyiLLg, N G., March II, 1887.
Gen tlemeB-I bad BARRIERS itch for
three months. The eruption on my
face was very bad. copld not shave
at all. ] took a course OF 8. S. s.,
and il completely cured me. To-day
my skin is smooth and complexion
denotes good blood. Il. N. TERRY.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

One OF the worst illustrations of
total depravity in child was recently
exhibited in a school in this city.
Two girls who roomed together had a
disagreement one day and one Of them
carried her spite to bed with her. That
night she got up while her companion
slept, and, taking pair of scissors,
clipped every particle of hair from the
head of the other girl. 1t was the
mcanest piece of revenge on record. -
81. Paul Globe.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
The City Marshal Of Iuka, Miss.

The gentleman who sent us the
following certificate IL the City Mar
shall Of lnka. Miss, aud is man of
high character and prominently
known throughout the State. His
son had suffered intensely for six
years from an eruption of the skin,
caused by poison oak. All remedies,
IL appears, failed, until, fortunately,
s. 5. +. was tried, when the cure was
made with wonderful promptness.
Here Ia what this gentleman says:
Gentlemen--My son had suffered
for the the past six years with an
eruption on his legs, caused from
poison oak and cracking of the feet.
Nothing seemed 10 eradicate the
poison from the blood until 1 gave
him one bottle of Swilt's Specific.
This entirely cured him, and hearth
ly recommend il to the public as
sure cure for poison oak.
Treaties on Blood and Skin Die
seases mailed free. The SWIFT SPE-
oIFIc Co., Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
SHE TOOK A SLEEPER.
Trials and Tribulations of n Nertous
Woman la n Pullman Car.

Trials and Tribulations of Nertous
Woman In n Pullman Car.
A nervous woman, on board rail-
road train, in Missouri, called a con-
ductor and said:
Il would like so much to take
sleeper for I've been up three nights.
hand runnin'. but am afeerl "
"What are you afraid of, MADAME"
IVY. Tn Altered that the train
mont run of the track?'
But will your staying away keep it
on the track"
"Wall, do you know hadn't thought
of thatP Wy, my settin' up here with
nv eyes open KANT have the sighest
effect upon the train. can it?"
None that can see"
Then, if you was in my place
you'd go in the sleeper an git good
night restP'
Il certainly should"
"Well. | will, but whenever you
think there's any danger of the train
runnin' Of, wy wish you'd have me
called"
She went into the sleeper. About
three hours later while the conductor
was passing through the train, he
found the woman sitting on the seat
which she had occupied during the
day
why. madam, thought you had
taken Il sleeper"
Il did" she replied, "but tho fetch
FAXED train KEEP threatenin' an q
thrcatenin' to run of the track till |
thought the safest plan would be fur
me to git right out an set here where
ken watch every thing, but do you
know that when l got up that fetch
taxed niger in there had tuck my
shoes and sloped of with 'em? Well,
he had done that very thing, an l had
the hardest sort of work gitten' 'em
back again. fur tho cussed rascal had
put little dab of blackin' on EN- an
wanted to charge me ten cents. l
paid the conductor Two dollars for the
shelf-or berth as lie calls it, but l
reckon he'll give it back to me in the
mornin'."
He won't give it back"
HE won'tP'
no"
"Not if ! tell him l am pore wild
der?"
THAT won't make any difference"
Wall" bouncing up "Tll jest go
back there an lay there, waitin' fur
the train TO run of fur I'll DO bound if
I'm goin' to be beat out of my money
thater way. Whenever the train starts
to run off you mout call me. an il you
hear a awful rumpus in there you may
know that the cussed niger is airter
my shoes again, an that am defond-
in my rights. "-ArkawsaO Traveller.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

l.s causes. and 4 new and
Il IEHF VEC0 successful CURE at your
II Town home, by ono who was deaf twenty
~ eight years. Treated by most OF the noted
specialists without benefit. Cured himsslf In
three months, and since then hundreds Of 9TH
ers. Full particular sent on application,
5. t. PAGE, No. II West tlSt 81, New York CITY
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

"A cable-car company has been In
corporated in Portland, Ore, for the
purpose of building lines into the sur
rounding hills. The capital stock is
$3.50, 900 which has been READILY taken.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

no ADvERTIsERS.-Low Rates for adj
free. Address GEO. p. RoWELL 4 CO. "a 10
Spruce st. NY
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
Are You Going to Kansas
Missouri, Colorado. Cali
fornia or Any of The
Western Statesl

If you should avail yourself of the
advantages that are now offered by
the Kansas City Route, the only di-
rect route from the South to the
West and Northwest. This line runs
its entire trains, with Pullman Palace
Sleeping Cars and free Reclining
Chair Cars, from Memphis to Kan
sas City, saving many hours time
over any other route. If you are GO
ing you will save money by purchas-
ing your ticekts via Memphis and the
Kansas City Route. Send for large
map of this Snort Route mailed free.
Address,
j. Z. LOCKWOOD,
Kansas City, Mo.
Or, II. d. ELLIS, Ticket Agent,
81 Madison Street. Memphis. Tenn
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

the money offered her. Invent TO Gee hcr,
anxious TO conciliate her II possible.
found hor living with her parents IN
rather small but comfortable house in B.
street was ushcred Into the pailor
where Trina sat, her hands folded listlcssly
on her lap, her golden hair hanging in care.
less disorder about her faco aud ncc... she
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
SHORT HINTS
SOCIAL ETIQUETTE.
Compiled from the latest and best
,corks on the subject BY
Aunt Matilda. -

,corks on The subject by
"Aunt Matilda"
PRICE, 40 cents.
THIS book should be in every fami-
ly DESTROYS Of knowing "the proper
thing TO do" We all desire TO be-
have properly, and to know what 10
the best school of manners. What
shall we teach our children, that they
may 60 out into the world well bred
men aud women +? SHORT HINTS"
contains the answer aud will be mail
ed to any address, postage prepaid
on receipt OF price.
SPECIAL.
Until further notice we will mail
each of our frinds a copy of the above
valuable book gratis and free Of pos
tsge, if they will mail us Is wrappers
of Dobbins' Electric Soap. BY folding
up the wrappers rs you would anews-
paper, the postage will only be Gets.
Always put your full name and adj
dress on the outside ofthe bundle and
write the word etiquette" also aud
then we will know who sends 1t.
/. l.. CRAGIN & Co.,
Philadelphia, Pa.
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02

For "worn-out" rundown" debilitated
school teachers milliners, seamstreases, house
keepers, and overworked women generally,
DR. Pierce's Pavorite Prescription is the best
of all restorative toncs. II Is not a Cure-all.'
but admirably fulflls eingleness OF purpose,
being q most potent Specific for NIL those
Chronic Weaknesses and Diseases peculiar to
women. The treatment of many Thousands
of such cases, at the lnvalds Hotel and Surg
zeal Institute has Afforded n large experience
In adaptinR remedies for their cure, and
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
Cheap Club Rates.

Subscribers to the SOUTH KENTUcKIAN w'l:
be given the benefit OF the following cheap Cab
rates with other papers and periodicals;
s. X. and Daily Courier Journal. fls 90
Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1887-09-02
Memphis and Little Rock,
Absolutely the only line that will put you
through without delay or transfer.
NO EXTRA CHARGE FOR SEATS
IN THROUGH COACH,

through without delay or transfer.
NO EXTRA CHARGE FOR SEATS
IN THROUGH COACH.
These Conches have Porters in charge to look
after the Comfort and welfare OF the Emigrant,
and to see that the Local Passengers are not
allowed to get In the Through Coach and crowd
them. No other route Offers such inducements.
IL would tax your time and patience too much
TO attempt "a describe the rich and beautiful
homes and fertile lands OF Arkansas and Texas.
Therefore, 1 would advise you 10 go ami SEQ Tor
yourself. Examine the country. Mingle with
the people. Learn the advantages and dlgnd-
vantAges. Examine the school facilities. Buy
or rent farm, or take up Government Land,
and 20 TO work.
not endure tho extreme cold Of Kansas, No
brAska aud tho NOrthwepteTn winter. just
think Of it-nIne long months OF ice, snow and
bitter winds in exchange for our Sunny South |
Our northumberland for their treeless tracts
Yet there are unscrupulous agents who give
glowing descriptions Of the Northwest. Do not
be deceived! Visit Arkansas and Texas on
Land Bxplorer's Round-Trip Tickets, and be
Write To- me for full information. will sent
you Map, Book and Papers, FREQ.
r. A. WILLIAMS,
Southern Passenger" Agent.
Nashville, Tenn.
CHAs. Z, HEATH,
Agent, Memphis, Tenn.
S. w. TUCKER, G. P. II. A.,
Little Rock, Ark.
RUDOLPH FINK, Gen. Manager,
Little Rock. Ark.