davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
ssE WISH WAS A MAN!'s
A Frequent Feminine Exclamation
Which May Ese True.

She said she was very busy and had no
time to enjoy herself, and she wished she
were a man, says writer in the San Fran
cisco Chronicle. 1 wonder what she was
busy about. l wonder what she had to do.
She is wealthy she is unmarried, she has
everything that anybody can want. She
buys everything she needs She knows
how to make great many useless things.
She can embrOider handkerchief for a
man. She can make a crazy quilt for
somebody else. who can buy a handsomer
one at the store. She can play piano.
She can ride on horseback. But she doesn't
know mutton chop in it's conglomerated
shape or piece of beef for roasting when
she sees it. She reads books. aud she
goes to the theater. There's no earthly
thing for her to do that is useful
that the world can't get on without;
and yet she is busy She says she does not
enjoy herself; she finds life fat, stale and
Improbable. She has nothing to do but
amuse herself, and yet she wants to he
man because she thinks that's precisely
what man does. Look here, did you
ever see man enjoying himself? 1t is
the most profitable thing in life in the way
OF amusement. don't mean those amuse-
ments which are equally open to the female
seX-muSic and books, and walks and dan
cling and conversation. a man having fun
that is not given to ladies to have is only
amusing because it raises the fellow who is
looking on sober so much higher IN his own
esteem.
When man gets very full and takes you
aside and tells you that he likes you, and
when he likes anybody as he likes you he
likes them, and begins to confide in you all
sorts of incoherent secrets that are not of
the faintest consequence, he is funny.
When man tells you he has had good
| time, a lovely time ask him what he did,
and you'll fnd he has forgotten everything
that happened, and only thinks he must
have had a good time because he's got
head on him too big for any hat in the
town. Now, an enormous proportion of
the fun man has is of that kind. All the
other pleasure he knows in life he enjoys
in the society OF his lady friends, and it will
upset all the calculations Of the philosophy
| the best authorities have printed Oh human
nature, if the ladies want to change places
when mans trying to get them to fall in
love with him.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
SOCIETY PERSONALS.

Mrs. r. NJ. Davidson, of Montevideo, and
Miss Belle Davidson, of Owatonna, were the
guests of Mrs. A w. McCallum, S97 Sixteenth
avenue south, last week.
Miss Fannie Conner, daughter of Col. l.. S.
Conner, q distinguished Mississippi lawyer is
the guest OF Mrs. F. A. Dunsmoor, and will
spend the summer here.
A. NJ. Allen, assistant solicitor of the Min
neapolis & ST. Louis road, who has been i'll
for some time past, has gone to Los Vegas,
n. NJ, to recuperate.
Miss Sarah Kerr, of Bath, Me-, and Mrs.
Cornelia Hough, of Portland, are visiting
their brother, j. E. Naylor. on Aldrich ave-
nue..
Miss Adele Clarke and Master Donald
Clarke, of Jefferson City, Mo-, are visiting
their uncle, D. S. Clarke. of Portland avenue.
Mrs. Frank Wilson. of Winona, and Miss
Kittie Maynard, of Delhi, Ind, are visiting
Mrs. Henry Maynard, of Western avenue.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Spear have returned
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
THE FIRE OF HOME.
hear them tell of far-of climes,

hear them tell of far-off climes,
And treasures grand they hold
OF minister walls, where stained light falls
On canvass rare and old.
My hands fall down, my breath comes fast
But ali, how can / roam?
My task ] know, to spin and sew,
And light the fire OF home.
Sometimes l hear of noble deeds,
OF words that move mankind;
Of willing hands that to other lands
Bring light to the poor and blind;
l dare not preach, cannot write,
l fear to cross the foam;
Who, if go, will spin and sew,
And light the fire of home?
My husband comes as the shadows fall,
From the fields with my girl and boy,
His loving kiss brings with it bliss
That hath no base alloy.
From the new-plowed meadow, fresh and
brown,
I catch the scent of the loan;
''Heart do not fret, Ills something yet
To light the fire of home"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
AN ENGLrsHwOMAN,s JOKE.
How "a Lady of Rank Responded &

How a Lady of Rank Responded TO
a Dinuer Invitation.
London Special to New York World.
One OF the society papers prints an elab-
crate story concerning the unhappy adven-
lures of the wife of an alleged Chicago
pork packer in her efforts to enter the
inner set at the Marlborough house. AS
the story goes, this ambitious woman was
very rich, and had an endless amount of
diamonds and pocket money. 1t is
said that she began operations by making
direct OvertureS to a titled young
matron prominent at the Marlborough
house entertainments and standing high on
the list of divnities of the new club. This
society matron was known in story as Lady
b. Lady B. received endless invitions to
invitations were declined. After a time
Lady b. made wager with very high
Observation-Disclosures to be the Prince of
Wales-that she would put an end to the
invitations and at the same time rid herself
of the opportunities of Mrs. Chicago. The
next invitation Mrs. Chicago sent to Mr.
B. to dinner was accepted. On the day
before the dinner Mrs. Chicago's cook left
her, but new cook applied for the place.
and as she was recommended by an init
mate friend of Lady BIS, was ac-
cepted. The day of the dinner came, but
with it there did not come the honored
guest. After waiting for over half an hour
the mortified hostess sat down to delicious
dinner with her eXpectant and disappointed
friends. AT the close of the dinner there
came the piece of startling news that the
cook had disappeared and had left upon the
dressing-table note which read as follows:
Lady b. presents her compliments to Mrs.
Chicago, and hopes the dinner gave salts
faction" 1t was then discovered that it
had been part of the wager and joke of
Lady b. to play the part of the cook for
Mrs. Chicago, and to display the culinary
education received by her at the South
Kensington school of cookery. This is re-
garded as very clever joke, but it would
appear from the story that the vulgarity
was not all on the side of the self-seeking
Mrs. Chicago.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
TAXING BACHELORS.
A Sensible system i'm V0g ue in Syviez-
erland.

Christian Union.
The republic of Switzerland is the Euro
pean country whose system of taxation
most resembles our own. 1t is the only coun-
try where there is any considerable tax upon
property. The countries in which the arts
tocracy is more powerful generally raise
most of their revenues by indirect taxes. In
Switzerland the indirect taxes are of COM
paratively little importance. Commerce with
the surrounding nations is practically free.
In the assessment of local taxes the demo-
cratic cantons are not content with prop
erty tax. but most of them assess at a
higher rate the property Of the rich man
than the property of the poor. A
good many years ago .this principle
was adopted by Basic. Zurich and several
of the smaller cantons. and law has re-
Gently been passed in Vaud by which this
canton also adopts the system of pro-
gressive taxation. The Vaud law
divides real estate property into
three classes and personal property
into seven classes. The lowest class in
each division includes property under
IS, 900. The rate of taxation is L per 1, OoO-
Estates that belong to the Second class are
taxed IL per 1000, and those be-
longing to the highest class are
taxed 4 per 1000. There is also a
retrogressive tax upon earnings, and in this
each individual is allowed in returning his
income. to deduct $50 for each person de-
pendent upon him. 1t is easy to see how diff
ferent is the working of such tax from the
working of an indirect tax. An indirect
tax upon sugar and salt, for instance, falls
almost as heavy upon a man who has $500
as upon man who has $50. 600. Accord
ing to the principle of the Swiss tax, the
man who has $50, ZOO ought to pay
more than 100 times as much
as the man who has $500. By
the Swiss principle. the man with an in
come of $500, who has a wife and two
children dependent upon him. would pay
no taxes at all, while bachelor with the
same income would pay upon 1920. If, on
the other hand. the revenue was raised
by tax upon sugar and salt, the man with
family would pay great deal more than
bachelor. The social justice of the Swiss
principle is recognized by almost all recent
writer's on taxation, and we notice that it is
gaining more and more favor here in Amer
lea. One of the results of the Swiss sys-
TEN Of taxation is the remarkable equal
distribution OF property in the country.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
BE X MUDA.

I war BILE! Bermuda is the subject of my
pe-anS,
Potatoes, onions, not to say its beans,
Let others sing its myrtles and its lemons,
NV muse will celebrate the produce of its
gemmams,
The lowly onion takes up most the isle;
It dots the land for many mile on mile.
Its perfumes waited to our noses,
And mingles with the scent of roses.
The smell--we have to make the most of;
The taste-no mortal man can boast of.
For when they re ripe-that very day,
They dig them, pack and ship away!
Potatoes go in countless number;
Not one is.left the ground to cumber.
All are sent Off; the stock gets short,
And then the cry is; LETS import"
Hartford Daily Times.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
Cigarette Smoking by Women More Gen.
eral than is Usually
Supposed.
New Fashions in Artistic Furniture De.
handing Pretty Articles in
Brass.
Why Some Women Frequently WISH
That They Were Members of the
Opposite Sex.
Where Matrimony is Encouraged by
Tax on Business alters of
Feminine Interest.
WoMAN,s PERFlnY.

She liked the flowers and candy he brought,
She let him adore ut her mimic court,
And rather enjoyed the arrangement;
But whenever he askel her to drive or walk,
Or sit on the rocks for quiet talk,
Twas always $50 jolly OF you, you know,
Indeed, I'd be only to happy to go,
But, you see, have all engagement
The summers few on as summers do,
And love and despair to anguish grew
At the thought of the winters arrangement.
So he asked her one night to be his bride,
And go through life with him at her side;
Her laugh rang out IN the even ing air,
And she showed him ring on her finger fair
And murmured, "Thave an engagement
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10

has brought repose to many weary ones,
and to none has there come aught but
benefit. Social pleasures have partaken
largely of cosy freside hospitality: few
congenial friends have gathered, and music
and happy talk have ruled the hour. I'm
kind cynics would have us believe that these
I enten evenings have been devoted to a
minute dissection Of the foibles and follies
of absent friends, and that Mrs. Grundy
herself, invisible, it is true, but none the
less potent, has on all such occasions been
the presiding genius. but every favored one
who has sat by glowing hearth during the
days of Lent, knows how utterly founda-
tionless such accusations are. Lent is over.
The dark, simply-made dresses that have
given outward token of the Christening in
tiuence of the time of prayer, and the
solemnlooking hat that has crowned a
solemn visage, were laid away with the
last hours of yesterday The chrysaliS is
broken. The butterfly appears to-day.
~
Easter is here. Likewise the Easter bon
net. The Easter bonnet is sort of peren-
NAL CHESTNUT thing wearsome to the
newspaper man, but which, like the flow
ers of spring, heralds the change of the
fashionable season, and adOrns the
sanctuary to-day even as the lilies upon the
holy altar. And with the Easter bonnet,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
SOCIAL HAPPENINGS.

One of the pleasant features of Easter week
will be a reception TO be given by tie Ladies'
Social circle. of the Church of the Redeemer,
In the church parlors next Monday evening
Following are the members of the reception
committee: Rev. NJ. D. Shutter Mrs. L. d.
Boynton.. Mrs. A. I. Morse, Mrs. w. W. East
maj mai Mrs. NJ r Koon Mrs 7 Nv Wb it. Unu-
MRS. John Edwards Mrs. d. c.. Conkey, Mrs.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10

w ard-shall call
out johnson !"
in the new coun-
Gil. the obese
and acute attor-
ney of the Sec
Ond ward will
not be the only
one to reply.
There will be
two others. One
of them is j. l..
johnson, of the
Eleventh. j. l..
lis not a minister,
but his business
has principally
to do with soles.
He is a shoe
man and has a
great eye to a
pretty foot and.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10

mostly seen, and builders and architects
generally are puzzling their brains trying to
find new uses to which they can put the
metal, and are thus coming nearer and
nearer to what is said will one day be a
house of brass
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
MINNEAPOLIS vIGNETTEs.
1t was almost boyish looking man WI

- sNt tAAO w XII
horse Of the First
ward and rides into
council on the biggest
m ajority given.
Charles A. Hanscom
is the result of a po-
litical m iracle-
namely. q quarrel
among the Irish vot-
ers Of the ward, and
it is well known the
sons of the Emerald
Isle seldom quarrel.
This young alderman
is the result of organ
iZation. The young
men Of his ward or
ganiZed and d e.
manded recognition,
and thew got it. Aid.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
1t was a long hard winter;
Easter is welcome.

Already in several suburban yards GRO
quet and tennis have appeared, and their
early arrival presages a strong revival of in
terest in those outside sports in which ladies
can participate. There are few more in
spiriting sights than are afforded by a lively
game of tennis, and there are number of
Minneapolis ladies who have proven them
selves worthy to cope with the best gentle
men players. Archery, one of the most eX-
hilarating lawn amusements, is to be more
popular than ever this season. For some
unknown and inexpllcable reason. archery
has never gained that foothold in Mime
apolis which made it the rage in Eastern
cities few years ago. 1t is to be hoped
that the ladies will get an insight into the
delights of this attractive sport. Once let
them but tasterits pleasures and the success
OF archery-iS assured.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10

Rnd complementary thereto. will appear the
spring suit. and these, with the fair form
they adorn, will attract more attention at
church this morning than the whole service.
Which IS proper enough, for is not the
combination thus presented symphony of
fashion? If | were sufficiently musical l
could work out successful smile. In the
various parts of the costume and the face
and form of the wearer an ingenious person
could discover things analogous to all the
different musical movementS-allegro mod
erato. allegro vivace, scherzo. andante,
allegro maeStoSo, allegro con Spir-
ito-and all the rest-you can
work it out if it prove amusing. | wonder
if it is really true that young ladies go to
Sunday morning Easter services for the eX-
press purpose of counting the new bonnets?
And whether those in the rear of the church
actually wait in their places for their fash
ionably-dressed sisters in front to pass out?
-
To-day the world of fashion bursts its
Lenten bonds, and for a little while will
revel in its new-found freedom. The post
Lenten season is always short, and during
the few weeks that will intervene before the
summer hegira begins all sorts of entertain
ments will be in vogue. Teas, card par
ties receptions, dances and lunch parties
may be INDUCED i'll, and all people socially
inclined will give glad welcome to any and
all the amusements to which they may re-
ceive invitations. The warmth and sun
shine of the past few days have turned the
thoughts of the world to out
of-doors. The small boy well
comes the day when he can go barefooted
again. The equestrian rejoices in his favor
tie exercise. BY the way, it is said that
more ladies will ride horseback this year
than ever beforeEa welcome announce
ment. Men will be glad to throw aside
overcoats, and ladies will don the pretty
light wraps that are SO becoming to them
nj
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
MINNEAPOLIS vEGNETTEs.

When the new clerk of the city-R. L.
Cornman, J. Edouin Cox or Charles A.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1887-04-10
THE YOUNGEST AL

THE YOUNGEST AL manded recognition,
DERMAN. and they got it. Aid.
Banscom will doubtless make good rec
ord.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-05-22
Tie vreu,amd the ra.tiesnaI.c.
audubon Magazine

lAWAhhbb MhkhNihNsl
The following charming story comes
g. us from Warner, ILL.,. "Close to my
| Office window. as / write this, 1 see a
wr,n's nest. Three years ago l drove
some nails IN a sheltered corner; pair
! OF wrcns built their nests ther-, and
7 each wear they have raised a family
/ There. The old birds oitencome intomy
/ Office and sing. One OF them has repeat-
cdly ahghtcd on my desk as 1 have
lcgn writing, saying plainly by his ac-
/ tons " You wont hurt me. We are
friends. 4 few years since, in knot
hole u "a dead tree near path from
ny Office TO my house. lived Il family
Il WIcps, with whom had formed a
very intimate acquaintance. One day
while / was passing in hurry | heard
the two biros uttering cries OF fear and
anger, and Is ] got past the tree one Of
The Wrcns followed me, and by It's pc
euler motions and cries induced me to
turn back.
81 examined the nest and found the
Young binds all right looked into the
irce's branches, but saw no enemies
thCIe, and started away. Both birds
then followed me with renewed cries,
and when | was few yards away they
few in front of me, futtered II moment,
and then daried back TO the tree. Then
one of them came back TO me futter-
ing and crying, then darted from me
near 10 the ground under the tree. 1
locked and there lay rattlesnake,
coiled ready TO strike. | secured q
stick and killed him, the wrens looking
on from tree, aud the moment l did
so they changed their song TO lively,
happy one, seeming 10 say Thank you
in every note"
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1887-05-22

the greater portion, or at least quite
number, arises from this uncomfortable
and unexplicably unavoidable dis.
ease witness-stand memory For
example, 1 once knew OF a
well-known lawyer OF this State
who was counsel for the defence in
notable murder case. For some cause
he was called on the witness stand to
corroborate q statement made 10y wit
ness as regards direction and distance.
So completely did his memory fail him
that he had not the vaguest conception
OF the direction or distance in question
while minute previous he could have
drawn a map. This is not the elucida-
ton of the probable experience of some
unknown legal crank, but the real ex-
perience OF one OF Maryland's ablest
lawyers. assure you his interest was
enormous, as to clear his client
was his only financial salvation.
/ still know of another very de-
cided case of this witness stand
memory. II occurred some years ago
in one OF the counties of this State,
where one witness "a farmer) testified
Il know this thing occurred in Septem
Der, for was planting corn When
asked more concerning the matter, he
finally wound up his testimony by say
ing be attended a Fo,Tth-oEJuly ceic-
br0tiCn IN the month o. SEPTEMBER. ]
assure you this party was neither drunk
nor crazy. but was undoubtedly affected
with this terrible malady. 1T is very
probable that the entire Gould firm,
who have been referred to in this con-
noction, are more or less affected with
this mysterious malady. 1T is con-
coded by all authors on the brain
that this organ, like others of the hui
man body, is subject to waste, and its
particular function, memory, is in a
great many subjects abnormal as re-
CARDS the proper equilibrium Of that
organ at stated periods. Thus we have
Observation-Disclosures in a host of sub
jects, periodical forgetfIIlness in many,
and almost entire loss of memory IN
vast numbers. There is,Rnother class
to which the foregoing gcntleme7
doubtless belong, whose whole pow
ers Of concentrated thought IS
bent on exploring the mysteries
Of the future in the great tide
of business. In contrasting these two
opposing powers we find memory is
sacrificed at the doors of forethOught,
and our warnings to cipher out the re-
suits Of some great business scheme or
transaction. The witness, like a SOL
der in battle, his brain overcome from
want Of brain rest, marches to the very
rortals of death with a measured tread,
oblivious of his Surroundings, never
thinking Of the deadly missiles that are
being hurled from iron volcanoes every
moment at the very doors of his exist
cnce, forgcts his troubles and fear.
The actor forPets his cue, the witness
his dates, circumstances, &c, &c.