Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1887-02-26
A SUCCESSFUL JOKE.
How Telegraphists Fooled Philip ID.
ArmOur's Confidential Clerk.
From the Chicago Natl.


From the Chicago Natl.
Phil Armour does not go away from
home very often, but when he does be
travels in private car. The magnificent
Railway Age, which was built by the pro-
prietor of that well-known class paper,
and which was the wonder OF the great
railway exhibition of two years ago, was
bought by Alexander Mitchell, renamed
the st. Paul, and put into service for the
use of himself and his fellow st. Paul di-
rectors. 1t is that very large and mag
| nificent vehicle that is now carrying Mr..
/ Armour, Mr.. Plankinton and their fami-
| lies over the Southwest, and which will
| take them finally out to the coast. A
| well-known railroad man, Simmons, who
! has been identified with railroading in
| many capacities, is now connected with
! Armour Il Co., and in charge of the
many railroad duties in connection
with the big business of that firm. 1t
naturally fell to his lot to provide for
that car, to arrange the details of its
passages and stoppages on the long sixty
| days journey which was contemplated,
and to see that none OF the many details
| incident to so long transportation fell
on either Mr.. Armour or anybody else in
the pleasure party. People who know
| the esprit du corps of the milliOnaire's
| office, and the affection with which the
| head is regarded, need not be told that
| Simmons just laid himself out to supply
the very best equipment and to in every
other way provide to the last minutest
detail for the comfort and pleasure of
that little jaunting party. his horror
and surprise can be imagined when with
in "a hours after Armour's departure he
received Mis over the Western Union:
CINCINNATI, o., Feb. T.-Slmmons.
thought you we're hitched up for business
and that you'd got me good car for this trip,
and that should not be troubled after | once
got of. The car was rattle-trap. IL went
to pieces at the first blow of the " histe. A
board came out of the floor. I've got cold in
my feet and rheumatism all over me. Take
the old thing home. Get me another car-if
you can. PHILIP ID. ARMOUR.
Armour's railroad man looked nervous
ly around the big office when he got this
dispatch to see whether it was joke. He
felt pretty certain that IL was, but the
message was dated Cincinnati and bore
evidence of authority. He felt just little
uncomfortable. He was made to feel only
more so upon the receipt, q few hours
later, OF the following:
LOUISVILLE, KY, Feb. l7.-Have you gotten
that old coach out of the ditch yet and back
to where you got it? You needn't trouble
about any private car for me. I'll go from
this on in an ordinary day coach. Simmons,
L
there wasn't anything in the railroad line
you couldn't do. It's too bad to have my trip
spoiled in this way. PHILIP ID. ARMOUR.
Simmons was now really on the tender
hooks. His uneasiness had been noticed
and one of these dispatches mad passed
around the office. 1t was not, however,
until this was received that the railroad
man felt like answering the sold man.:
BIRMINGHAM, ALA. Feb. I9.-Did you get
that car out of ditch and back home where it
belonged2 PHILIP ID. ARMOUR.
Then Simmons took courage and wired
back, asking if there had been any hitch
in the private car arrangements, and ii
there was anything he could do. This
message came back promptly and made
him feel and look pleasanter than he had
tor two whole days:
BIRMINGHAM, ALA. Feb. l9.-SimDaonS:
Car splendid; everything gong splendidly,
and trip couldn't be plessanter;
etPHnIP ID. ARMOUR.
BY this time the whole Office OF $50
clerks was aware of the joke, and they
had all passed it around. Simmons saw
that the bona ide one had as good clrcu-
lation as the counterfeit had had. The
deceit was made easier for the reason
that the Western Union puts it's operators
right into Armour's Office, and the blanks
were handy; and the operators were also
In the secret.