Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1887-06-03

| 'Ihcn ulWNyS snOre Wncn tncy arc
tired, man," said the girl. "Why,
me father used to snore so loud in hay
ing time that you'd think all tho pigs
in tho noighborhood was being stuck
at tho same instint"
An excellent similo, Mrs. Winchcs-
ter thought Ncllio's father made ono
more pig.
That evening our invalid was feeling
unusually wrctchod. Sho had q cold
in her head which caused ovcn her
wcll-born and wcll-brcd little nose to
feel uncomfortable. She would go TO
bed and go to sleep before her trdnn'
bone ncighbor could have time to com
mcncc his overture. If she could
/ avoid tho opening pioco, she might
pcrchance escape the rest of the pro-
gramme.
About eight o'clock tho chamber
maid knocked at her door, but was not
admitted.
"Its only that I'm told to ax IL ye
feel able for n game of whist" the girl
explained through the kcyholc.
"No," was the somewhat nasal re-
ply. please say that am very sorry
and have retired for the night"
The host and his wife were extremely
fond of cards, Mrs. Winchester knew,
and she smiled rs she thought of what
she had escaped in not being able to
| play with the snoring guest, for, of
course, the fourth hand could be no
| other.
BY nine o'clock the house was per-
fectly quiet; and after many futile at
tempts to arrange her pillow so that
she could breathe with her mouth
closed, the patient sank off into an un-
easy slumbor with her mouth open.
The result can be imagined. With fire.
quent gasps and jerks-and shall we
say it? snorts-thc refined and super
sensitive victim of a cold in the head |
would partially return to consciousness, !
then lapse again into sound, but GER
tainly noisy, slumbor. But at last she
awokc with an awful start, to find her
self sitting upright in n state of terror
impossible to describe. Some one had |
fired pistol close TO her ear. She was
sure of it. Nothing else would account |
for the frightful noise and nervous
shock. For amomcnt she hardly dared |
lift her hands to her head for fear
she should find that some section |
of it had been blown away.
Her nose was still there. She |
knew that without examination. 1t
seemed to her like some colossal prom
ontory in state of blaze. BY the
softened light of the night lamp, which
always accompanied the widow in all |
her travels, she soon saw that she must |
have been mistaken. How inexpli-
cable! Mrs. Winchester was not super
siitious, but she finally concluded that
this report must be warning of some
kind. Could it by any possibility refer
to Mr.. Browne? The much perplcxed
invalid thought not. 1t did seem, rs
she for the thousandth time enumcr-
ated this gentlcman's good qualities,
that in true culture and refinement he
was a giant in II race of pigmies. This
satisfactorily settled, Mrs. Winchester
carefully scrutinlzcd her once patri-
clan nose, Just now in an acute state of
Inflammation, and plcbeian TO n degree
which so shocked her sensibilitics that
she eXtinguished her small luminary in
disgust, and applied the necessary
medicamcnts in the dark, and then
sought her couch and tried to sleep.
But the influcnza was stronger
than Morpheus, and for an hour
or more the sufferer twisted
and turned, punched her pillows,
counted, and spelled, and all to no pur-
pose. But there is always an end to
all conditions; and ut last fatigue came
to the rescue, and the goal was almost
reached, when, horror of horrors!
sound as of bursting shell came from
the room across the corridor! The
mystery was solved. That was what
chester thought she had lost the top of
her head. The widows indignation
was in exact proportion to her physical
suffering, and her chronic disgust OF
snoring and snorers Explosion num-
bcr one was followed by series of
modified but regular snorts, which
lasted several minutes. and then came
another shattering report which seemed
to Mrs. Winchester over-wrought inn
agination TO have knocked out both
transoms and smashed things general
ly. This elm was followed by few
moments of silence, broken mt last by
the sound of heavy breathing, pro-
tracted groans and occasional nasal
earthquakes.
Mrs. Winchester felt sure that it
would be impossible to live till morn
ing under such conditions. The rest
in the music were all delusivc, and |
We're invariablc followed by fierce
crescendoes which were sure to split |
when they reached their height, in q |
way which ought to have demolished |
the orchestra.
And so the night wore on. The
widow knew she never slept one wink.
At any rate the morning found hor
much exhausted, and scarcely able to |
sip the coffee which Nellie brought at
the usual hour. After breakfast Mrs.
Winchester had decided to lay the mat
ter before her hostess. The new |
boarder's room, or her own must be |
changed.
"she is coming up by and by any
way" said Nellie smiling. You see,
man, they had great surprise for yo |
last evening""
II had all the surprise / care for"
the lady responded wearily,
"But, you see, nam, this was good |
one" the girl persisted. "They was
geing to get you down to the cards,
and thin the door was going to pop
open, and foinc, handsome gintle-
man was going to walk in and set
down"
"What-Mdt onep"
Mrs. Winchester pointed fcobly |
in the direction of the strangers |