Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1887-02-10
Uncle Dick Joins the Wheelers.

i nave Oa0 the mnmps, Ineasiee,
cholera, yellow fever and about every
disease on the list. / don't know why
1t IL, but "'rwas ever thus from
childhood's hour" just my luck. 1t
also seems to be my fortune, or mis-
fortune TO be member Of every or
der | can get initiated into. l am
n Mason, Odd Fellow, knight OF
Honor, etc. etc. and when the Wheel
er boom struck the county, at once
concluded that I must join the order
and accordingly made effort to be-
come member, which was not a
difficult matter, as l am now tiller
of the soil in good standing. The
old woman tried to keep me out OF
the order, but | would not listen to
her and I.now wish l had. Not that
/ do not approve Of the object of the
order which on the contrary l do, hut
| do most emphatically object to the
work required Of candidates in the
first or military degree, and as ! am
not pledged to secrecy l will tell you
how it was. for / don't think they
gave me = fair shake.
A short time after my application
had been presented to the Lodge, or
Wheel, l was notified that it had
been favorably acted upon and for
me to appear on a certain night for
the purpose of being initiated and !
was also informed that as the work
in the initiation was somewhat rough
and liable to soil the clothing, it
would be best to wear an old suit and
bring an extra one along which l
could put on after the initiation.
Not suspecting anything wrong, l
bundled up my clothes aud was at
the lodge'on time. The lodge room
like those Of most other orders is sit
uated in an upper story and after l
had been admitted to the ante-room,
l was informed by the guard that it
would be necessary for me TO wait =
few moments until preparations for
my initiation were completed. He
then went into the lodge room and
locked the door, which was soon
opened and two men in masks alp
preached and beckoned me to follow.
| was about to back out, but thinks
l, having gone this far will see the
thing through or bust, and in / went.
But what sight met my eyes; seated
around the room were about fifty men
all wearing masks, some of which
were mirth provoking, while others
were Of the most blood curdling de-
scription, and the Wheel, the symbol
Of the order, was to be seen on all
sides, there were big wheels and little
wheels, wheels here, there and every
where. The presiding officer, or
Great Mogul, whose title forget in
stead of using an ordinary gave
used small wheel with a handle
stuck in the hub. A few moments
after / entered the room. the Great
Mogul gave three raps with his wheel
and the members formed in march
ing order, with me with an attend
ant at each side at the head, and
marched around the room, singing.
We're band Of jolly Whselers,
And we buy our goods for cash,
And likewise on credit,
For we're bound to have our hash.
And when our cash and credits gone.
II ever comes that rub,
You can bet your bottom dollar,
We are bound to have our grub.
The Great Mogul then raped or
der and gave the following command:
"place the candidate upon the Wheel
Of Progress" whereupon my two at
PENDANTS laid hold of me and set me
astride of a bicycle, which to me, in
my frightened condition, looked to
be at lea It ten feet In diameter. The
bicycle was held in an upright posi-
ton at the top of an inclined pl&ne
by rope on each side, fastened with
a loop or ring to an iron rod, which
extended on each side of the plane
from top to bottom. After a little
more ceremony the Great Mogul then
commanded, "Start the candidate to
the Pool of Publication" At this or
der my attendants grabbed hold OF
me, and after telling me to hold tight,
which caution was entirely unneces-
sary, as l was already holding on
like grim death; they backed the BIZ
cycle few feet and gave it tre-
mendous push forward sending me
at tightening speed down the incln-
ed plane into tank of cold water
some ten feet deep. / was not sus-
pecting anything Of this kind, and
went under with my mouth open and
consequently almost strangled. When
| came to the surface l beheld the
members with the Great Mogul at
the head, marching around the tank
sing rs follows:
Talk not to us Of the ruby wine,
Nor the wildcats deadly glare,
We all take water, in ours, old boy,
And you must take your share.
/ have already taken my share,
said l, let me out Of this; but the on
" reply was-tarry awhile. The top
Of the tank was 80 far above the wa
ter that | could not reach it, but be-
ing a good swimmer. l had no fears
of drowning. After plying me with q
number Of questions regarding my
pact life etc, the Great Mogul asked
me il had ever been engaged In the
mercantile business, to which / re.
piled in the affirmative. What pei
cent profit did you charge? he en-
quired. The customary profit, said
|, of rs per cent. Great snakes! said
be, didn't you know you were skin-
ming your customer? | knew it al