davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

blue and his wcIl-boy green, insert four
line advertisement in the Sunday papers
and steer unsuspecting citizens against his
corned beef and malaria in the guise of
health and economy. 1t seems To me
somewhat unreasonable for a man to seek
so far and fare SO badly when he could
Just as well enjoy his flies and skinned
milk, his insomnia and profanity without
leaving the city.
But the fact Is every man bred in n
city considers himself swndled unless he
has two weeks of summer on "A farm, just
a the farmer thinks life not worth living
without an annual tour through the joys
of the Bowery in winter Ii is an out
break of inward cussedness, like the hives,
and every man gets it. The whole phar-
macopwia can furnish no remedy, and the
only relief is to 60 and pursue the way
ward fancy and come home full of sunburn,
collie and repentance.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

A prominent western journal thinks
McGlynn's new occupation should be
as the editor of Henry Georges Stand
ard, and says: "His presence on that
editorial tripod would give religious
and classical culture to the land reform
doctrines of George, which are practi-
cally absurd, hut which the earnest
eloquence of DR.. McGlynn can so var
nish as TO make the worse appear the
better reason"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
Red-Headed Girls and White Horses

Here's a red-headod girl, and there 8
a white horse remarked Mr.. John Mat
thews, the well-known sporting man, who
was walking down Broadway with a re.
porter.
What do you mean?" he was asked.
Didn't you ever hear that before?
Every time you meet red-headed girl
you will see a white horse.
Half block further another red-headed
girl was met
where's your white horse now?"
asked the reporter.
There's one turning the next corner, 3"
he replied, and, sure en, ugh, around the
corner came white horse, drawing a
dray.
They never fail, | tell you. l have
been saying. Here red headed girl and
there's a white horse, for fifteen years.
I've never got left yet. "
After airing the reporter met one more
red-headed girl, and, looking for the white
horse, was not surprised ~ see car pass
drawn by two of them. New \ ork sun.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
Why MormonS are Denied
Passes.

Ii NAV not be generally known that
among those who have been deprived
of railroad passes under the new Or
der of things are the elders of the Nor
mon church. Owing to the peculiar
wording of the law. which permits free
transportation TO ministers Of religion,
the deciples of Brigham Young arc
denied the privilege which are still ex-
tended in the matter of reduced fares
to othodox clergymen. The Mormon
elders are not regularly ordained min
listers. and consequently are not in
charge of regularly stated congrega-
tons cont guous to lines over which
reduced rates are requested; hence the
denial of the benefits referred to.
What effect this has had upon Mormon
evangelization it would be hard to tell.
but that it has materially increased
the expenses OF that sect
may be gathered from the frequent re-
ports of its members indefatigable la
bors among the unbeievers in this
country and in Europe. Sc Louis
Globe Democrat.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
knowledge About Babies.

A baby sister has lately come to a
Boston household. The children hear
ing that the baby was to be called after
a friend of the family whom they have
always heard addressed rs Miss
Agnes. gave the title to the baby.
'Wh is the name of your baby sis
ter ?" asked lady on the street car.
Her name is Miss Angnes," said
Jack gravely.
"And how old is she?" the lady went
on.
"Oh she isn't any old; she is all
new. Don't you know about babies D"
-Harper's Young People.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
His Intellect Coma.

Judge to Barkeeper-Do l under
stand you to say the prisoner was so
drunk that he did not know what he
was doing?
Il do, your honor"
so you think tn at he was not in
possession of his reasoning facutesp"
"lIe was not.
"IIow do you knowP"
"IIe paid cash for his drinks instead
of having them put on ice, where they
would keep He never did that before
in his life. was satisfied then that
his intellect was tottering on its
throne"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
Pats Idea of Civil Service.

There was Pat McGinnis. said an
Irishman who was seeking place i'm the
navy yard. "He said To himself, says he
I'll 60 for a Job as an attendant to the
Ward ) island institution. Sure. Pat
Diver, our alderman. and fone man he
l., do you mind, give him a card. Phat =
this" says Pat. We mean. says the
alderman, 'yc VII have to prcsint yerself
to white-choker fellows al the city hall,
and they will AK We some que,tions?'
4 hat koind OF questions? says me bowld
Pat It's all right, me man. says the
alderman. me name will shove you
through. And so Pat goes down TO the
city hall and they show him to a room.
He looks around and PLAT do you think
he seen? He 5, EN- dozen and more gen
tlenen with eye glasses and no rust on the
wrinkles of his pantalOOns. BE heavens
says Pat. 'schOolmasters from the oud
Dart, and foine show I'll have. The
first question that was aXcd him Knocked
him out. \ little, sawed of chap, with
red whiSkers on the side OF his face axes
Pat: 'Piat's the distance between the
sun and the arth?' 'Ye can goto HI.
says Pat, and take the question with you.
I'll go back alongshore, and he wint,-
New York Letter.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

10y the bank of the laughing waters, under
the trees beloved by the slOw-stirrng
wind | will view the coming of the
chariot Of day through the gates Of pearl
garlanded with rose; | will listen TO the
choir Of happy birds, the drone If the wan
dering bee, the pipe Of the neStlingS under
the caves, the fiddle of the locust and the
deep-throated boom of the bull-frOg in his
sedgy lair; | will watch the ST Jrm-king
build his towers and walls and battle
ments on high. hurting cloud against
cloud and thunderbot against thunder
bolt till his wrath is appeaSed, and then To
me shall be blown the sweetness and the
GOODNESS of wet fields, and through the
long and languorous purple hour shall
come twilight and the peace Of him who
liveth we'll: and under the solemn dome of
dusk, under the young eyes Of the stars,
under the broad sheen of the rising moon
shall float down the river of rest To an
infinite calm.
Yea, | will 60 where the coy Amaryllis
ava teth in the shade. i will find the
cottage embowered at the foot of the hill.
the clematis twning about each window
and white roses seeming the doorway.
There is refuge from the hustle and roar
of the city and there will defy veXatiO
and laugh at care. There will the early
chanticleer first clarion find me ready to
leap from my downy pill ows To a day of
delight; there the bright morning will
find me among the branches OF cherry,
gathering the treasures one 10y one:
there the glory of nContide shall
gid my wandering from peach TO grape,
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

The crops of Europe in the more i'm
portant wheat growing nations arc
without exception promising far better
yields than in 1887. The English crop
particularly is promising considerably
above the average, while that of last
year was materially below the average
both in acreage and rate of yield. The
only important Offset in our favor in
the foreign situation is in East India,
where the yield is probably % per cent
less than last year while the exceeding
ly close selling OF last year had reduced
India supplies almost to absolute nudity,
There is said to be shortage also in
other food crops in India, and 1t may
be estimated that their surplus for ex-
port in the crops from lsS7-S9 will not
exceed % against 45 million bushels in
1867.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
AAfARYLITS

from grape TO watermelon, and thence TO
necarine tOapricOt and 10 empurpled plnm
rs my fancy listeth; there the painstaking
hen shall attune for me her most glorious
lay; there the cream shall be rich with
clover; there shall be yielded for me the
tasselcd corn and the rioting cucumber,
the ruled beet. the buXom potato. the
golden squash. the climbing bean and tie
purple-winged pea; there shall ! rcycl i'm
the lap of abundance. and my ministers
shall be frugal and supplemented farm
folk, who have no thought but that my
summer shall be happy.
This Is the city man s dream Of coun-
try heaven, but have not found il.
| found the trees beloved by the slow
stirring wind, but | found, too, that a
large colony OF painful ants had got there
hefore me and was disposed To quarrel
with intruders. have watched the com
ing of the chariot of day through the gates
of pearl, and | noticed the thermometer
throw one leg over the eightieth rung,
and then reach up and pull himself up to
the nineteth before the chariot had got
fairly going have learned to love the
drone of the wandering lee at immense dis
tances. having discovered Il at that pam
pered insect considers it quite joke to
poniard a slumbering stranger without
provocatiOn. The pipe OF nestlngs under
the ewes might be more agreeable If they
did not encourage other live stock which
subsequently make nocturnal raids through
the windows; the deep-throated boom of
the bull-frog l like less than do his
brawny jumpers served on buttered toast,
and while have been under the solemn
dome of dusk, under the young eyes of the
stars and under the broad sheen of the
moon, / have usually fioated down on a
river Of strong language, not reaching my
Infinite calm until had cleaned out the
entire gang with wet towel
have seen an abundance Of fresh vege-
tables I'm rural districts and miles of or
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

There is an anti treating club in
Boston composed mainly of members
of the St. Botolph club. The anti
treates are men who are models Of
hospitality in their own homes, but who
frown upon the growing American
habit Of treating upon any and every
occasion. The members bind them
selye not to treat one of their number
for the space of one year, and they call
themselves 1.-The United Little Brothers
OF ST. Botolph."
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

An Englishman who spent seyeraI
months in this country, says no
country are the dead more honored
than in America. The cemeteries are
as q rule very nicely laid out and well
kept. Families will pay as much for a
burial plot in fashionable cemetery as
they would tor building plot in town.
They will have a marble wall placed
round the plot, with their names con
spicuously painted on it, and after
showing visitors where they live will
drive them to the burial plot and pulyer-
ize them with the magnificence they are
going to keep up afterwards.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

The Papal brief communicating
DR.. McGlynn of New York is not long,
but is very much to the point. II sets
forth the contumacy of the priest and
refers with sorrow to his persistency in
defying the church which has been SO
anxious TO see him repent and do PEN
ance for the scandal he has provoked.
1t goes on at some length to explain
the necessity of the present act, compli-
ments Archbishop Corrigan on his
firmness and discretion and ends by
instru ting him to publish the decree OF
excommunication in his church diocese
at once. This is the last act in this
drama, so far as the church itself is
concerned DR.. McGlynn IS entirely
cut off from it and Catholics are not
supposed to associate with him. All
the sacraments are withheld from him,
and the priest who should even give
him absolutiol on his dying bed would
be liable to be u frocked. But one
Catholic priest has before been eXcom-
municated in this country.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

Tbs is distinctively n reading age.
Never before have books, magazines.
periodicals AMI newspapers been so
easily within the reach of all. The inn
provements in the mechanical appli-
ances of the Fart preventative have
placed the thoughts of the best minds
of the age within the rea h of the hum
blest toiler, and done much to brighten
his otherwise lonely home and cherries
life. The best minds among the educa-
tors of the day accord to the local news
paper prominent place in the rank of
teachers. Where no other periodical
is taken into the home, the local paper
makes its weekly visits. How more
than important then is it, that the
columns of the paper be free from every
faint of corruption; from everything
immoral and unclean, that will have a
tendency to corrupt the young and inn
questionable minds of the youth of our
homes. AS are the boys and girls OF
to-day, so VIII be the men ana women
of the future. Let editors see TO it that
their papers are what they purport to
be-distinctly and distinctively home
papers. There is not an important or
leading question of the day that cannot
be discussed in the columns of the
home paper, and that too, without using
language unchaste or impure, as is too
often the case. The younger members
of our households should know and be
able to intelligently discuss the ques-
tons of the day. The newspapers of
the day must be their text books, and
the local paper The text book. Let the
text book be full and comp etc, but
above all things else, a model of purity
of thought and diction, with opinions
honestly, clearly and fearlessly ex-
pressed.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

L is now the golden
time when { h {
thoughtful man says
unto himself, 10, it is
hotter than beeswaX
in town, and | will
arise and flee as n bird
to the mountains;
will lay me down,
languid with a mid.
summer night ; dream
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

chard bending under
the wealth of pippin
and cherry, but the
frugal and far-seeing
farmer had mortgaged
the entire lot, and the
stranger had To con-
tent himself with a
shuttle of yellow peas
Just picked from a
Baltimore can.
These thfnUa bava
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

Jules Verne is SO, and with the exceI-
ton of a stiff knee, caused by shot from
an insane nephew, Is hale and hearty.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29
A SUMNER NIGHTS DREAM.
How to Find Infinite Calm Among
haystacks.
pIeasure-seeling In the Country.

Henry Guy Carlton writes to the New
York World If the bald Joys If the skim
milk farm. and the cloy of canned peas, in
the following facetious manner:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

made me sad. IL seems TO me the honest
granger should have noblcr aspirations
than 10 paint his house yellow. his barn
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1887-07-29

When man buys a porous plaster he
generally sticks " his bargain.-Peors
Transcript
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13
If 1 SHOULD DIE TONIGHT.

1t may not bc Smiss 10 give some further in
formation concerning The poem, If / should
die tonight About 6fieen years ago n poet
whose name nj present is unknown to us, but
who IS believed to have been resident of
Ph'ia iclphia. published anonymously q touch
ing little poem with the title in question. Our
critical friend, Mr.. y. ID. F. Randolph, who is
himself an author and has the true poetic in
stinct, recognized its merit and scissorinp il
from the columns of tho newspaper in which
II appeared, added i, to a compilation of re-
lisious poems lie was just then scuding to
INC press. Ills little volume appeared in 1873.
its appearance this last year. as origiua', in Mr..
IL. Rider iiaggard's novel Jess excited con-
siderable indignation in England That author
NJ last advices, was Mt Cyprus collecting, il is
supposed, the mat erial for another sensational
story. Ills wife, in response to the public
criticism, made n somewhat lame explanation
oil the circumstances in wbich.Ihe poem reached
her husband. As published in jess it is sadly
muilated, TO meet the supposed condition Of
the heroine, and hence some of the finest lines
were omitted 1t was at one time ascrbed to
Henry Ward Beecler, but this has been author
i,Nirely denied by his family. We have an
carly newspaper copy which VIC give 10 our
readers. 1t is cmincntly worthy of prescrvu-
tion:
IT shonll die tl-aight
My friends would look upon my quiet face,
Bcforc they laid it i'll its resting place,
Aud deem that death had left il almost fair
And, laying snow-whtc flowers against my
hair,
Would smooth ii down with fearful tender.
ness,
And fold my hands with lingering caress-
Poor hands, 50 empty and so cold toni i5ht.
If l should die tonight
My frieuls would call to mind, with loving
thought
Son kindly decd these icy hands had wrought
Some gentle word the frozen lips had Said,
Errands on which the willing feet had sped
The memory of my selfshness and pride,
My hasiy words, would all be put as idc
Aud so | h)uld be loved and mourncd tonight
If should die tonight
Even hearts cstrauged would turn once more
10 nc,
!,eca'ling other days remorsefully;
ihe eyes that chill me with avcrtcd glance
Would look upon me as of yore, perchancc,
And soften. i'll the old, familiar way, :
For VINO could war with dumb uncon scious
clay -? r : fIFF
So might rest, forgiven of all, tonight.
Oh, Friends l pray tonight,
Keep not your kisses for my dead, cold brow
The way is lonely, let me feel them now;
Think gently of me ; / am travel-woru;
My ia'tering feet are pierced with many
thorn;
Forgive, oh, hearts estrangcI, forgive, plead
When dreamless rest is nine, shall not uecd
The tenderness for which l long tonight.
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13

The RABBIT Pest IN AusTRALIA.-Mr. II
Taylor, Of the rabbit branch Of the Mines De-
partment, in his report to the Minister, for
December last, said that the total number of
men employed in the work of destruction was
2,2S5, and the rabbits killed 852, ,730. In the
course of the report Mr.. Taylor said: Il have
on several occasions, pointed out that the ma
jority of the men engaged as rabbtcrs were
making very high rate Of wages, and it is
now reported that number of skilled trades
men have been known to abandon their ordi-
nary pursuits, and take to rabbi,ing a 8 q moro
lucrative occupation. However, is the thickly
Infested Districts he adds, where labor is not
scarce, the run vners have recently reduces 4
the rate Of bonus and he thinks that .this
will result in better work being done, as the
men will require TO work moro vigorously to
obtain good wages, and, consequently, o greater
number of rabbits will be destroyed Notwi,h-
standing tho immense number of rabbits
which is at present being xii ed, it is matter
for great regret that the prospects of eradica-
ting the pest seem as remote as ever-the re-
ports to hand showing that rabbits are slowly.
but surely, making their way into the north
ern portion of the celony, aud tho run owners
in that locality must shortly expect to learn
something Of the worry aud exp eusc attached
10 the work of rabbit dcs truction'
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13
NEEDLES, ,PISsasD Fish Hooks.-Ao-


cordiug to tho most recent estimate, the
present production of needles in Rcdditch,
England, is not less than 50,000,0UO per
week, and as may inferred from this enor-
nous aggregate, machinery has been
brought to bear upon the trade in most
extensive degree, and with marked success.
The pointing of the needles, one of the
most delicate of all tho operations, is now
almost exclusively done by machinery, and
so is the cutting, skimmin;, stamping eye
ng,temperinga counting, heading and tail
ing, blucing, furnishing finishing asserting
aud sticking. New and improved machines
for all these processes have been success
fully introduced during the last twenty
yeasor SO, ,eaod unlike the experience Of
other trades, the machine work about nee
dies is not only cheaper but better.
The latest novelty, aud one which is
pronounced q success, is tho 'grooving,'
machine f@i making sewing machine nee
dies the old stamping process being thereby
superseded. Work done by the growing
mathine is better andtrucr, besides being
more economical. The old process of ether
gliding has been almost entirely superseded
by the newer and improved method of cleo
tro gelding. Redditch is becoming rival
of Birmingham in the manufacture of pins,
the ordinary common household pin being
supplemented by shawl aud scarf pins, with
glass and steel heads. About two tons
weight of pins of all sorts are made 10
Rediteh weekly. According to the lates:
phase which ingenious enterprise has taken
in this trade, the production ought to in
crease by leaps and bounds for an attempt
is being made to so reconstruct the ma
chimes that they may produce two pins at
time instead Of one. Redditch produces
every weckgan average of 10000, 900 fish
hooks of all descriptions, from that re-
quired by the angler of minnows in the
strcamlet to that adapted for pike and
salmon fishermen. Machinery is very
largely used in the manufacture of fish
hooks, and in connection with the smaller
class Of sea hooks, electro timing is being
extensively adopted. Fishing rods, floats
and swivels now constitute important
branches of Redditch industry, ard a con-
siderable trade is growing up in the pro-
duction of artificial flies, which are exclu-
sively hand made.-American Analysis.
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13

LEpRosY IN "A LOUISIANA Town.
New Orleans, La, May 2.-In answer to
tho appeal of the people of St. Martins.
vile, who had become alarmed over the
rcportsthat numerous cases Of leprosy pre-
vailed in that town, and that the disoas was
spreading, a committee, consisting of the
President and othcrmembers Of the Board
Of health, visited the town aud made a
thorough investigation. They found three
cases Of undoubtcd leprosy in the town,
tbrco Others that appeared suspicious and
two that had been remoyed 10 hospi.a! 10
New Orleans for treatment. They de-
cided that tho disease was not contagious,
being confined in one family, which had
inherited it from their family ancestors, who
came to the town sixty years ago from San
Domingo, } r. r. 7!
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13

STooK NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT IT.-.Dr. J.
Brad0ed: Dear Sir-During some ten years
experience in the drug business, we have sold
large quan titles of your invaluable remedies
Female Regulator and Mothers Friend-for
which there has been n constantly increasing
demand. Your Female Regulator, rs n specific
Tor disease Of the womb and uterine organs, and
for correcting menstrual Irregularities, stands
without rival, never failing TO give entire sat-
isfaciion. We regard it as staple specific, and
consider that without it our stock would not be
complete. The rapidly increasing demand for
the Mothers Friend gratifyingly indicates
that this inestimnble boon to expectant mothers
is fast winning its why to that appreciation to
which this pain-allcviating and life saving ap-
pliance is entitled. Our sales of your Great
Remedies are continually increasing.
Yours truly, MAGNUs & HIGITowER,
Druggist and Pharmacists, Atlanta, Ga.
Send for our Treatise on Health and Happi-
ness of Woman mailed free.
The Bradfeld Regulator Co., Atlanta, Ga.
The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1887-05-13
81 A |T|U R d A Y

The orange trees throughout the Waldo
section OF Florida, have never before been
filled with fruit in such abundant profu-
sion. The fruit is now we'll set, and the
crop will bo at least twice as large as that
of any preceding year.