The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-06-15
GOOD MANNERS.


The Fundamental Principle of Genuine
Courtesy is the Equality of Mankind.
Books on etiquette are staple literary
wares. Just at present there seems to
be more than the usual demand for them,
and some recently published treatises on
manners are having great run. This is
a good thing, for it is moral and civil
izing process for people to give thought
full consideration to their dues to their
beings. If the study does no
more than to teach them not to perform
knife-swallowing tricks at the table,
it will be beneficial. There is, how
ever, a danger that in learning rules of
conduct without understanding their
underlying philosophy slavish pedantry
may be the result, or even that worst
form of snobbery which consists in hav-
ing lady" and gentleman" on the brain.
Courtesy Is simply the due recogni-
ton of the fact that there are other
people in the world besides ourselves.
A complementary truth, perception of
which is needful to the maintenance of
individuality, is that every one has a
right to do anything one pleases that
does not interfere with rights or COM
forts of others. The code of forms by
which courtesy is expressed varies from
age to age and among different peoples.
Its attainment Is not difficult; the ordi-
nary phrases of civility are the common
currency of society and no one can afford
to be ignorant of them. The excuse
often made for persons of rude manners
that after all they are good at heart is a
very weak extenuation of their offense !;
for people do not come in contact with
one another's hearts, but with their man
ners. In fact, for most of the occasions
of life, 1t is more important for the gen.
eral welfare that peoples man
ners should be good than their
hearts. Hence 1t Is that the habitual
propriety of conduct whichis designated
by the phrase 'good breeding" is a bet
ter recommendation to companion
ship than the possession Of some lofty
virtues. Politeness is duty that needs
to be practiced like other duties; not
until 1t becomes spontaneous and instinc-
tive does 1t acquire its characteristic
charm, which has the power to conceal
and atone for many defects Emerson
says: manners form at last rich var
nish, with which the routine of life is
washed, and its details adorned"
While goodness of heart cannot COM
pensate in social intercourse for lack of
manners, It is equally true that really
good manners cannot subsist unless they
come from the heart. The humility of
spirit which alone can quench the AFRO
gance of self Is the fruit of profound
conviction of the fundamental equal
ity of mankind. Fortunate circum-
stances OF happy adjustments of capacity
to the conditions governing the world of
business or politics, enable some men to
become rich or famous while others are
poor and obscure. 1t occasionally hap
pens that the lucky ones have not
the sense to give God the glory, and
disgrace themselves by their pompous
airs and ridiculous self-conceit. The
rich privilege of being enabled to par
take of the treasures of wisdom stored in
our higher educational institutions some
times results in turning out upon society
broods of foolish young ducks
who, splashing about in the puddle of
their own self-conceit, imagine them
selves sailing upon the ocean of life
Social relations, being based upon the
natural right of everyone to choose ones
own company, are full of exclusions. The
envy which these cngender is as foolish
and wicked as the pride which they
nourish. Excluding from consideration
the things that are transitory and con-
ventional, the fact is obvious that the
only test of worth Is the way one does
ones duty in the sphere allotted by
Providence. Unless this truth regulates
behavior, the vital principle of good
manners will be hacking.