News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1887-01-06
A PREFERRED CREDITOR.


missed all around at forty cents on the
dollar and gained year to wind up the
business, 'I'm goin' ter make of you er
--vot you call him-er-brevered gred
itor. How vas dot?'
Thanks, old fellow. thanksl Iknew
you wouldn't go back on me. How are
you going to arrange lt2" The mer-
chant took him aside.
"Vell," said he, closing one eye, II
want to tell you rite now dot nobody
vas goin' ter got er cent outer dis piz-
ness"
"And you call this making me pre-,
ferred creditor?" The drummer's eyes
could have been knocked off with
stick.
''Vy not7 You know all about id
now, but dem udder vellers Won't find
id out fur er year. ."-Macon Telegraph.
IT WAS NOT SAUSAGE.
A pleasing spectacle was seen at Del,
monicos cafe, in Goth street last week.
Two gllded youths, irreproachably
dressed, entered and ordered dinner
Thy had evidently been to two or
three 'teas' and been drinking some
thing stronger than "tea." One of them
imbibed much champagne and rapidly
got paralyzed; both were, however, per
fectly quiet. Dinner progressed and at
i termination the waiter placed cigars
on the table on a silver salver. The
much-wined youth, who is we'll known
in Cleveland, watched them with inter-
est, and then slowly lifted his fork,
transfxed a cigar, placed it on his plate
and solemnly cut it up. He then took
q piece and placed it in his mouth and,
after tasting it, elected it and was heard
to murmur, "Waiter, mighty bad sausa-
ges them.-T0aUR Topics.
DROUGHT UP.
Before Willie KS cousin Bertha ar
rived at his home with her parents on a
summer visit, his mother had told him
to observe how graceful and polite her
manners were, especially at table. When
she came Willie observed her, therefore,
with admiring interest. One day his
mother said: do you see how nicely
Bertha conducts herself. Williep' "Yes,
mamma" ''Don't you think her man
ners are rather better than yoursa"
eyes, mamma; and l guess l know
why" "Why is it, my dear?" 'Prob-
ably Bertha has been better brought up
than have. y Youths Companion.
SAVED.
'Darling, my creditors are merciless,
and tomorrow may see us without house
or home"
"Nay, husband; do not despair. Do
you not remember that, when we were
in the happy holidays, six short months
ago, l resolved to save five cents for
every dollar paid the plumbers7"
"And have you kept it up until
now"
eyes, dearest"
"Then we are saved, for I only owe
$50, ,000."- Chicago Rambler.
LIFE SAVER.
Miss de Crashville - He isn't an
Adonis, but you know he saved papa's
life once, and we think the world of
him.
Mr.. de Topp-Why, yes, you must.
What were the circumstances?
Miss de Crashville Well, you see,
one of our neighbors threatened to shoot
papa if he didn't keep Clawed out of
his yard.
Mr. de Topp Gnterestedly)-Yes!
Miss de Crashville-Yes, and papa
tied him up after that.-T3d Bits.
HE WAS NOT JOKING.
''Are you married or single?" asked
New York Judge of witness in divorce
suit. 81 am not married, but my wife
is" ''Now, if you get off any more
Jokes in this court room I'll lock you up
for contempt of court" ''Why, Judge,
l amt joking. l was married and l got
a divorce. My wife married again, but
l didn't. I know when I've got enough,
so you see I'm not married, but my wife
is. You don't catch me joking on any
such serious subject as matIimony. y
Teas SJtjngs.
The Providence Journal tells of a
hard-up type setter who tried hard to
90 up to the composing room to see a
friend. He was refused permission, and
so sent up this note: ''Friend -,
Please send me down a V. Yours
Sam -" Very soon an answer came.
There was a small package and a note
reading: "Sam -: You don't say
what kind of 'V' you want, so | send
you an agate lower case, that being the
most numerous in my collection.
HOW HE CONFUSED HER.
Mrs. Bagley-W William, thought you
told me all the saloons were closed on
Sunday?
Ragley-So they are, Susan. You
couldn't get into one with a club.
"Wby. YOU didn't have a club, Wi /
lam. vet I'm sure | saw you coming out
of saloon last Sunday"
"That's what l said. If I'd had
club l couldn't have got in. Now, run
away, dear, to your fancy work.
Phila. CAL.
AN ILLEGAL TRANSACTION.
Young Girls Father-You here again?
Young Man-Yes, believe | am.
Young Girls Father thought put
YOU out few days agO3
Young Man-Yes, that was on cleo
ton day, November 3.
Young Girls Father What's that got
to do with it2
Young Man-I've been looking up tn
law, and l find that business transacted
on legal holiday is illegal. lid Bits.
IN LAWYERS OFFICE.
"Thanks for your explanations; but
what l desire to know is, the exact time
that will be required to obtain my di-
vorce."
''I think, madam, that you may rely
upon having it within year"
"a year? That is absurd Why, long
before that, as likely as not, my husband
and l will have made it up again"
HE KNEW WHEN TO LEAVE.
'Now, Jamie, you mustn't stay at the
the Jewett's until you wear your wei
come out" said fond mother.
81 know when to come home, re-
piled the youth. ''You don't cat h me
staying after they begin to talk Slow