The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1887-06-25
BRIGHT BITS.

No sane girl ever burns love letter.-Detroit
Free Press,
YES" remarked a fond mother the other
day, my son is very fond of his cornet He
insists that he is only an imrnateur player,
although a number of the neighbors say they
think be really deserves to be called 'vigor-
oso v Exchange,
A LITTLE GIRL who had not learned the table
for wine measure was much puzzled by reading
on the blackboard; IF quart of wine costs 81,
how much will three hogsheads COST" Finally
she asked: Teacher, how many hogs will there
be If there's three heads? '-Albony Argus.
You went out too soon, said wife to a hus-
band, at recent concert Patti responded to
third encore and sang Coming Thro' the Rye ;
L. was simply divine; fairly drank it in" $50
did l. he answered softly, with a slight suspi-
cion of hiccough, land can taste it yet. -
Puck.
A TEACHER said to a member of the State
Board of Health who was investigating the CON
dition of her room: mo, l haven't any ventila-
tors; don't see any use for them"
But how do you keep the air pures'
"Oh, I've got thermometer Albany
Argus.
STRANGE how always seem able to forge
ahead said Lewiston man to his wife, as he
pegged up a twenty-four hand.
IL you are so good at forging ahead YOU
had better forge new one yourself. You for
got to send up the wood to-day" The rest of
the game was played in sullen silence.-LeUis.
'tOH ~ ~ OOUIHut.
WELL, john said the judge to pig tailed
Celestial, what can do for you!'
Want to gettee name changed"
whats your name Dow?n
''Sing Sing No goodee Too much ALDERMAN.
Gettee changed to Walbee Twice.
ITO Marble Twicef'f
Yep. Alice same Sing sing-Pomeroy's
Democrat,
ENTERPRIsING SPECuLAToR-Ho is that gas
well of mine getting along?
Superintendent-No gas there, but we struck
a little petroleum.
"Eh! In paying quantitesY''
oh, no, only small stream so far
We'll, keep boring. II it don't make an oil
or gas well it will do for medicinal spring
omaha World,
WHERE do you get all the funny things YOU
print in your papers" asked the inquisitive sub
scriber.
out of my head, sir: out of my head, " CURLY
replied the bothered editor.
Are you really, now?" said the inuuisitive
subscriber pityingly. We'll, l rather had an
idea that something was wrong, but | didn't
know it was so bad as that "-SomeTUille Jour
nal
MET a freckled village boy,
Who lOitered by the way;
His hat was off. mis- brickdust curls
With balmy winds did play.
"Oh, whittier bound, bareheaded boy,
Beneath this blazing sky?n
I'm going home--but have to wait
Until my hair is dry
Detroit Free Press.
THAT Partisan tricl-the vanishing lady
that Hermann does is a great one" said Jones
He covers lady with a veil; and after a little
maneuvering, removes the veil, and the lady
has disappeared"
That's nothing to young lady in our board
ing house, " answered Brown. Il have seen ten
or twelve persons in the parlor, and this young
lady come in, sit down to the piano, and begin
TO play and sing. In two minutes all the rest
had disappeared Talk about Hermann, He
amt patch to her. "-lftsicol Courier.
'sYoUNG MAN." said a sepulchral voice, as the
night-capped head of an old lady was thrust out
Of the window, what reason have you got for
making noise with that gourd and singing and
disturbing the neighborhood?''
This isn't a gourd, Mrs, Jackson it's a
mandolin, and I'm not disturbing the neghbor-
hood, hope. am serenadingn
We'll, don't think its very gentlemanly or
very proper for you to be coming around here
at this time OF night singing out for your darling
Josie to meet you at the gate, and saying it so
loud that everybody can hear. There amt airy
girl named Josie in this block as know of: and
our Mary jane got the cholera morbus awful
wish you'd git further away. '-North'S Musical
Journal