The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1887-02-19
The Gossiper,


A man at Morris, aged 20 years, lately
married q girl aged ID. These added to-
sether are AZ, an average of u for each. As
they are "just of age" what's wrong? and
what's going to be done about it:
Denver, Col, is 5,l75 feet above the level
the sea, and Annapolis. Md, is only 4
feet above that level. Here We have the
highest and the lowest. The mednea must
Re streator. 1t always claims everything
thai is uncertain.
The birth o. little girl. recently, to Mr..
aud Mrs. Whitney, Is the fifth instance of
this interesting sort, that has occurred in
cabinet families in % years. An exchange
asks, "Why were they oil girls'' Most re-
specially and conclusively give itup.
There were some tremors of earth quake
in Central Illinois, lately, and five distinct
shocks we're felt at Springfield. 1t is said
that but few Of the members Of the egisla-
ture can pray, that is, as Christians spell it.
Home of them, in their terror, vehemently
promised that if they got out Of that sc,ape
alive, they would never seek to be legislator,
again.
A society has been organized at st. Louis.
known as the "Knights Of Rest" That suits
US. Their very initials are comfortable; X.
OF suggestive Of ease in spelling as well
as the luxury Of rest. The duties Of their
officers must be light such AZ, "Loaf Around
and Don't" Like il Easy" {" Fret not thy
Girzard," and so forth.
The new county clerk of Will county has
run his head into hornets nest by refusing
to allow attorneys to take papers out Of his
Office, even on their most carefully worded
and binding receipts. This is bad Are the
legal gentry of Joliet dishonest? or the clerk
triHe over careful? Here the lawyers may
remove almost anything from the court
house, save Jantor Porter's slop bucket aud
Treasurer !Ioffman's l2-ton safe
Here is something from the Joliet Republic
S,n, which finds an echo here. I" There
must be a mistake about Springfield being a
hog. Just now she wants only the perma-
neut location Of the state fair, and the con.
soiidation of the supreme courts into one
court to be held at that city"
In Springfield, the clothes horses only,
are free from CHAMBERS.
Ladies' at Springfield have commenced the
custom Of net wearing their bOnnets and
hats at the thcatcr or opera -Er.
You just wait till the spring styles are re-
ceived, and see how quickly towers of hats
will come to the front! Besides, the new
ones we are told, are to be four stories high,
he lower elevations for mena gerie Of wild
animals, an aviary and an apiary, with plen.
iy of inhabitants, and the top story con.
seryatory, surmounted by monstrous
feather, and that by the flag of the Union!
Some of the newspapers are disposed to
poke fun at Representative Brownies bill
10 prohibit the selling of whisky which is less
than two years and nine months old Those
fellows do not reflect upon the misery
caused to the country by its citizens drink.
ing whisky Of too juvenile an age. The
longer it stands undrunk, the better for the
bulge and the budgst.
A man named Moon, at Reading, thinks
he heard An earthquake, one night recently.
lie is probably not cautious enough about
his drinks.
Texas is to have a paper called the Bed
Bug. Here is Q chance for exterminators."
A tramp recently entered dwelling in
Ia Sale, and insulted the servant girl. The
lsdy of the house came upon the scene with
arevolver, and put three bullet holes through
the fleeing vagrant's coat tails, Her aims in
life should be higher.
-
The Ivy Club dance at Streator, seems to
have been the first attempt Of the young
keaux Of the "neck Of woods" known as