The National tribune., 1887-06-23
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Bob Burdette Thinks The President Might Have
Learned Wisdom in BarnyArd.

OLE ELAI IN ID "A II n L + LAGS
Bob Burdeite Thinks the President Might Have
Learned Wisdom in Barnyard.
To hs Editor Of Hie Philadelphia Prcss.
SIR: The longer / live-and / seem to be
living little longer every day of my life-and
| the more observe the actions of learned and
! prominent aud presumably wise men, the more
6rmly am / convinced that the highest type of
Wisdom ever masquerades in the motley of
| Folly, aud that the best writers on Mental
/ Science and Political Economy are Charles
Godfrey Leland and "Josh Billings" Pres-
dent Cleveland never read Josh Billings"
Had he done so he would have grappled 20 his
memory with hooks Of steel this bit of homely.
/ priceless wisdom: The time tn set a hen is
I when the hen Is roddy tn set"
The President, in the matter Of returning
the captured battlenags, has been guilty OF the
useless folly Of trying 90 compel a hen To set 4"
when her mind is far away on the pansy bed,
and cool, forbidden scratching places in the
/ kitchen garden, while she regards the nest
with only forgeiful indifference, unless some
/ foolish mortal attempts 10 drive her upon it,
when her indifference develops successively
into hesitation. reluctance, protestatiOn, aver
sion, peremptory refusal and riotous outbreak
1 ing aud obstinate rebellion.
Nobody was saying anything about these
| battle1ags. Now and then a company Of Union
veterans, making Reunion pilgrimage TO some
old battlefield. carried with them. in glow OF
! good fellowship and fTaternal feeling, flag
captured by them long ago from their friends
| the enemy, and now being Hospitality enter
/ tanned by him, crowned the Reunion Of old
time friends and foes by returning the flag TO
the hands that had first unfurled and then so
bravely defended il. If the veterans wish 10
do this no man shall say them nay. In fact. il
was rather pleasant thing for the boys TO do
when their hearts prompted them 10 it. They
captured the flags; il is right to do with them
| as they will
But here comes a man who never captured a
flag, who never saw a rebel flag until long after
| il had been captured; who abode nigh unto the
| Canada border when he had every opportunity
10 go a-gunnng after battlohags; he hears the
| contented monologue of hen who is foraging
through the strawberry bed and occasionally
dividing the spoil with the weak, though much
oftener with the strong, and mistakes il for the
restless "cluck" of hen moved by prompt
| ings of the maternal instinct 10 brood over a
whole nest full Of the unsearchable possibili-
ties Of eggs whose fruitful harvest may, good
wOt, dominate the electoral barnyard. lie
said: Il will GO into this obliteration and re-
conciliatiOn business as iobber; | will take up
that / laid not down; l will gather where
have not strawed and reap where i did not
sow. i will weather these flag returners and
cross the line ahead Of the whole feet by
a clean majority"
Alas for the man who would set n nom" set
ting 2" hen, or, finding a willing one, setteth
her upon dragons teethi
That hen wasn't ready 10 set, and the mis-
| taken President has crumbled his linen, over
heated himself, impaired his dignity, filled the
air with dust and feathers aud set the whole
| National barnyard into wild commotion and
the hen which he sought 10 "set " is perched
high on the reel Of the old Grant reaper, which
has been under the shed since 1865 where she
makes the farm ring with defiant protests
Even If that hen was half ready 10 set, Presi-
! dent Cleveland isn't the man to "set her lie
hasn't been with her enough. Somehow, she
seems to roost high every time he comes around
the barnyard. IL she had seen more Of him
| now, say when she was about % years younger
il might have been different
Any man old enough TO be President ought
TO be able TO see when a hen wants 10 set.
hen is such fool she reminds me of men. And
even a President is but a man. See, now;
have a quarrel with my brother. with whom
have lived pleasantly enough ever since our
father died, away back i'm l776. We fight a
long time. but az last lick him take away
his marbles and make him come back into the
house aud behave himself; give him the best
pace at the table, aud, by and by, acquiesce
when he says il is his turn TO run the house
In moment Of good feeling and fraternal love
/ 4
him. He dosen'task for them. but give them
10 him. i want 10 do this; il pleases him and
makes me feel better While / am doing this
along comes my step-father, who hid himself
under the bed all the time we were fighting
and only sent the hired man to represent him
he comes along now and SAYS:
" Here, Jefferson, I'm going 10 give you bach
all the marbles that Abraham took away from
you"
Will give my brother another solitary mar
blef Not by long chalk; III Lick" my
step-father first BY his ill-timed meddlesomt
interference in matter that didn't concern
him, he has retarded what he sought to pro
mote.
And finally, brethren, when the hen is read,
10 set she "sets" All the Presidents from
Washington 10 Mexico can't stop her. If yoJ
destroy her nest and lock her out Of the hen
merry, she will set with perfect faith and tire
less patience under the bobs of an old woodshe,
on bottle neck aud a bureau knob. She ma,
even be reduced 20 the necessity Of settinj
standing M, but she will set. When il come
time 10 return the battle1ags the men who cap
tured them will restore them, and no man VIII
stayed in Buffalo all through the battleha
season need feel called upon 10 tell them whei
that time arrives. The hen will be apt I
know il herself man who would tell het
when il is time for her 10 "set" would hav
gall enough 10 tell a man on shipboard tina
he would come around and tell him when {
begin 10 get seasick.
The time tu set a hen is when the hen
reddy tn set"
Cut that ont and paste il in your hat, Nj
President; il may save your second term.
RoBERT J. BURDETrE.
BRYY MAwR, June IL.