The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1887-06-01
HUMOR.

FLNT-LocKs-a misers hair.-Teras
SDtings
The wearing of the green-a game
of billiards.
IT is wise stock that knows its own
par.-LJe.
DINNER-"Waiter. / see you have got
turtle soup on the menu. Is it mock
turtle?" Waiter-"Nc, sir, mud"
The question about extending call
turns sometimes on the age of the par
son; the question of accepting it, or
the parsonage.
A MAN and his wife are buried in the
same grave, and the stone bears the in
scription: Their warfare is accom-
pl she'd"
A YOUNG man wants to know how to
bring out mustache. Tie cord
around it tightly, hitch the cord to a
post and then run backward.
"IsN'T it heavenly ?" calculated Miss
Gush in reference to Miss Pedals per-
formances on the piano. Eyes" replied
Fogg, at is indeed heavenly; it sounds
like thunder"
"THIs is one of the silent watches of
the night" remarked Fangle, as he
looked at his timepiece on rising one
morning and finding that it had stopped
at ] p. NJ ittSbttrg Chronicle
A FASHION item says that "a ball
dress should be plain enough to show
off the material" The object now APP
pears to make it brief enough at the
top to show off considerable portion
of the wearer.-Norristolo'1 Herald.
"WoULD you like it better if l wrote
only on one side of the paper?' asked
a poet who has been affecting us great
ly of late. No, we would not. We
would like it better if you refr lined
from writing on any side.-Teras SJt-
i7lgS.
CLIENT-"Now, Mr.. H, isn't your
fee rather larger" Lawyer-"I am
sorry you think so, Mr.. B; but you
must remember had a great deal to
do. L spent great deal of time pre-
pairing nay charge for the jury" Client
-"Great Scott! Do pay the jury?'
-Boston Batdget.
do YOU know" said Miss Beekon
Hill to Miss Murray Hill, "that your
friend from the West asked me last
night at the reception who wrote
'Gray's Elegy?'" Miss Murray Hill
giggled and responded, in italics: You
don't say sol" and then, thoughtfully,
"by the way, who did write it?"-BoS-
ton CONNER iat Bulletin.
"DoN'r you think" said Mrs. Keeper,
"that when Adam realized the vastness
Of the world into which he had been
ushered he must have had great deal
on his mind ?" swell, responded Mrs.
Blunt, from the photograph 1 have
seen of him, should say that whatever
he did have on must have been on his
mind. Tile Judge.
my dear" said an anxious wife to
her husband, who was running for office,
1--WE must economic in every possible
way" Il do economize," he replied.
EYES," she said, bitterly, "you spend
ten or fifteen dollars day in treating
q lot of bar-room loafers to beer and
whisky just to get them to vote for
you. Do you call that economy"
Certainly; that's political economy"
A GOOD story is told on the Governor
here in Chico. j. w. b. Montgomery
had been rendered the position of
Brigadier General of the Fifth Bri-
| gade, and went to Sacramento to con-
suit with the Governor about the mat
ter. He walked into the latter's office
and remarked swell, Governor, 1
have come to tell you that L will ac
cept that office as long as there's peace,
but want 1t understood that in case of
war you are to accept my resignation.
49," replied Commander-in-C Chief
Bartlett, "that's all right. If there's
ever war 1 propose to resign myself"
Chico (CaI.) Enterprise.