The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1887-09-15
The Merry Side !

The great need of the times is for an orator
who can say something and say ii quickly.
Thomas E. Powell is terribly shocked that
Foraker will not love Cleveland. He can't
Life is short-but not short enough to pre-
vent men from making fools of themselves.
Many a man begins his political life truthful
on principle, and ends it a liar for convenience.
Never mind, friends, the Lord made the DEM
ocrats. Yes, and he made the Canada thistle,
too.
The small boys new suit will not now require
so much cloth. The melon season is about
gone.
When a mean man weeps over the death of
his wife, he should remember that she is not
sorry.
People should remember that dollar in the
pocket is worth two in the hands OF the circus
sharper.
The fellow who insists on occpying, alone,
any position of honor in this world, will die
hungry.
The only thing we have noticed Democratic
paper lighting in Ohio this year is the tax
whisky.
A new song is entitled "Why Did They Dig
Mas Grave So Deep?" Ask the lazy medical
students.
81 have felt the throb of public admiration!"
said the orator. HE had been hit with a rot.
ten egg
Many man who thinks he is ''abreast of
public sentiment,"is is only hanging onto the
hind end.
Mr.. Powell, the reason the people don't ad-
know you.
They are trying TO change the name of Pad
dy's Run. Then what fond tradition will be
left Hals,ead?
Mr. Powell mourns for the "insulted dignity"
of the Presidential office. Then what did you
elect Grover for?
ave will build up public sentiment" says
the dude. He g-rds himself as sort of polit-
ical dose of salts.
Powell announces himself ready to answer
Foraker's questions He answers them better
when Joe isn't nigh.
Mr.. Powell made speech at Hamilton. He
had it in printed slips, SO he could blame the
mistakes on the pri nter.
-
We would like friend Jones, of the Waverly
Watchman, to tell us whether man has 10
lie to be good Democrat.
1t is easy enough to teach the Golden Rule,
but hard TO get people to understand that more
than one peorson is concerned.
The man who says "the world is growing
worse" should ask himself why. The question
will take the conceit out of him.
The Minister said, "man is but lump of
That's why he's so easily broke.
Postmaster General Villas is to be sued by
Veterans Association in Washington. They
regard him as the Vilas't of the Vile.
The man who complained of the noise OF a
boiler factory, never heard a small boy going
through the house with a coal-bucket.
A New York brewer has silver dollars set in
the floor of his den. We suggest that he get hu-
man skulls, as being more appropriate.
One sweet trait about a woman's love is that
soul on earth can avoid despising him.
1t is an old saying that !'uneasy lies the head
that wears crown" yet we have known some
old bald-headed rakes to have lots of trouble.
Malone sued Riddeberger, and the jury
stood ten for Malone and two for Riddleberger.
We thought Rid held the "balance of power"
The Democratic politicians regard the Grand
Army in much the same light that the small
bench-legged dog regards the big black TOM
cat.
When the rain came, at last, it caught good
many people away from home without um-
brellas. They had come 10 believe 1t couldn't
rain.
Blind men wanting employment will find
steady work on Western Railroads, watching
for signals and tagging trains to prevent col
lisionS.
Powell says sit was Major General Drum who
wanted to send back the flags, and no one else."
If it wasn't impolite, we should say that was
sheep-skin lie.
Friends, don't begin publishing Democratic
opinions of Powell Life is too short, and the
Democratic politicians known another TOO
well to worry about 1t.
"Gov. Foraker's time does not expire for four
months yet"-T. E. Powell.
Excuse us, Thomas-you mean two years and
four months, don't you?
1t is cliamed that Powell wrecked Thurman"
at Chicago. Then let the old Roman watch
the main track in November, and he will see
telescoped Democratic car.
Wish these daily papers would be more care
full. The Commercial Gazette followed re-
port of Powell's speech with dispatch head
lined: POISONED by Canned Beef"
The sermons of the modern ministry are di-
vided between reading Bible lesson and beg
ging for the heathen. And the worst of 1t is,
they beg of the heather most of the time.
A fellow who advocates the doggery Interest
always has contempt for Temporal ce men
and women. He goes on the principle of the
skunk, which has contempt for the rose.
One of the hardest things to understand is to
see good old brother stand up in church and
! sing ssLord, care not for richest" yet who nev
! er was known to loan dollar under ten per
| cent.
| Powell walls for the love OF the farmers for
| the Democrats. Well, the Ohio farmer rem en-
bers how the Democratic party treated him
when John Morgan was sweeping across their
| farms.
"Turn the rascals out!" shonts the Democrat
ic press. From the numerous reports from
Democratic Counties, it seems that they are
| turning themselves out-as fast as they can get
| hold of the money.
"Ah, said the Soldier to the Miltiaman, "you
don't know the sacrifice 1 made for my coun-
| try"