The Dickinson press., 1887-04-02
THE DRUMMER DID 1T.
A Class of Honest and Enthusiastic
Nuisanccs Who Never Die.

All investigations by archnoogists into the
various races and their history break on tl
incxpcabe influence that seems to connect
widely different places, periods and peoples.
They find old jars i'll uso in Iii,lia that tho
mound builders had here, and they come
across iron teaspoons i'll the prineval forest
beds of coal. They are astonished to find the
gridiron Of the north Of Ireland figuring in
the social life OF China three or four thousand
years ago. The Bedouin Arab has the army
blanket of the Esqulnaux, und in the ruins of
PonIpcii they come across peanut shells like
what the sweeper sweeps out OF the gallery of
the theatre to-day. Well, why is this! Archa-
ologists cannot tell. l can. The mysterious
ubiquitous influence that leaves 10 track save
the article is simply the drummer 1t was
the drummer who did it nll He left those
curious Grecian scrolls in Egypt; he carved
those hieroglyphics on tho rocks of ancient
Britain; he is the man who introduced French
candy into Herculancum and stuck the
mound builders with iron teaspoons.
Do you ever know what becomes of
drummer! Not that You care, but have you
ever seen a dead drummerl l don't believe
drummers die. l believe they simply talk
themselves into gas "Gas thou art, to gas
returnest," was written OF the drummer.
have met one or two men who have been
drummers, but they do not talk much about
it. When drummer gets tired of talking
he just disappears. do not see how this
country survives the existence of drunmers
You go into IL small country place: you step
into the hotel; you find in the Office sixteen
coats hanging up on tho wall and sixteen
valises i'll row on the floor and sixteen lncn
sitting with their thirtytwo feet up on the
stove, telling sixteen lies about their business
and their adventures, all at one time. You
can't get what you want iii that town. The
dlumners have made the store keepers buy
what they have to sell, and you've got to take
it or go without 1t seems almost impossible
to believe that a drummer should ever be
able to disguise his identity. He is, as rule,
aggressive and runs things.
If you see man come into the Office of n
hotel and step up timidly to the counter and
ask the clerk if there are any letters for him,
please, you may know that he's a humble
private citizen and plain guest. If you see
fellow bang open the door, stride in and
leave it open behind him, go and hang his
coat on peg and jam his valisc OH the floor.
walk behind the counter, take out all the let
ters and read the addresses from every box.
open tho drawer and look in, then you'll know
it's drummer-good for one nights lodging
and several drinks. He generally lets every
body know that he's sold n lot of stuff, aud be
talks very loud about the fun he's had some
times. But they told me of one drummer
who called himself count, and wore long
fur lined ulster and an imposing foreign looi,
ing mustache. He came in tho summer sea
son and stayed o long time. He was the rage;
the girls fell in love with him; the marnmas
admired him; he was on the evc Of ee''''
engaged to a naughty So"
when a lady walke'''
and found
trv'~