Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1887-10-03
Marriage :. Bargain.

Marriage a. bargain.
Divested Of all sentiment and sacredness,
marriage is emphaticolly bargain like any
other. Certain advantages are exchanged
for certain considerations, expressed or un-
derstood among which are moderate
amount of complaisance on both sides, and
at least the appearance of some degree of
personal content Also from the husband
the protection of his name and strength and
fortune; from the wife respect for that
name, homely service, and fit administra
ton OF his means. What else there my be
of love and sympathy, of ecstatic romance
or extraordinary devotion, are matters by
| the bye-things which senctify and render
blessed, but things which in no wise touch
the elemental conditions OF the union, as q
bargain to be kept faithfully and houora-
bly,.
Now, ii is just this character of the bar
gain which is so often ignored in marriage
SO long as there is love and mutual harmo-
ny things go well together but, when love
dies out or is not at all, it is seldom that the
same principle of business steadfastness to
| the terms OF an agreement, such as would
he enforced in any other circumstance of
life. comes in 10 supply its place, and to
| render the marriage "a success in so far as
it is the honorable fulfilment OF an agree
ment. Take the case of q woman who has
married q man she does otlove for the sake
Of his money If che happens TO have a
dash of that masculine self.contro and
ability TO balance the good and the bad to.
gether, aud to accept the latter for the sake
of the former, which are about the rarest
qualities to be found in woman, she will
smother her personal mslking and feign
the afiectonate content she does not feel !;
feigning here being virtue far out topping
the grace of sincerity. If she is only an or
binary woman-oue who is ruled by her
emotions, and who is unable to control either
her temper or her nerves-one who, think
ing love tho sole obligation to be regarded
in marriage, because she does not love her
| husband therefore holds herself entitled to
disregard him-she will show him before
| the month is out that she has married him
for her own purposes, but is not minded to
| fulfill the unwritten terms of the bond az he
reads it for his. He has given her all that
he has agreed to give-his name. his rank,
his love, and @ share of his fortune. She
denies him the return she undertook to
make-her love, her sweet submission, her
wfely complaisance of humor, her endeavor
| to make him happy and the marriage q
pleasant union OF lives and interests She
does not love him wherefore he otfends her,
though he is the best natured fellow
in the world, and one for whom his
very enemies find good words; and she
lets him see that he does. 1t is not
Dy any fault of his, and surely not for any
| shortcomings of willful kind, that he does
not please her. She knew that she did not
love him and that he was not "her kind"
when she married him but she resents as a
personal wrong done to herself the disdain-
| ful displeasure she feels toward him, and
never reflects that she is dishonorably fail
ing in her bargain when she accepts all for
which he covenanted and restores nothing
on her own side by way of equity.
Nothing is more painful than this want of
| honorable steadfastness to the esoteric terms
| of the matrimonial bargain so often seen
among men and women who yet would hold
| faithfully by their word in any other rela-
tion-who yet, too, would have been good
husbands and wives had they married for
love, lived on emotion, and not been re-
quired to prove the quality of their princi-
Piles. When things go so far wrong that the
contract is broken openly in some Of its
more essential parts, then the law steps in
to punish the one in fault. Very often the
world knows nothing of the secret sore, the
hidden failure for it may be that those who
fail most amentably in private, are wise
enough to keep up appearances in public,
and not carry their dirty linen to the public
wash. But sometimes, and still oftener, the
world at large is taken into the conf
dence Of the mismeted, and the dullest by.
stander can see what is amiss. The heaverted
head; the cold reply; the face that flashes
into smiles when speaking to anyone else
putting itself into mask of stony immobil-
ity when speaking to him or her; the ready
dissent from every plan proposed, every
opinion propounded, so ready as to be al
most instructive; the abiding air of sullen
wrong aud enduring displeasure-all this
tells the world as plainly as words that the
marriage has failed as /. marriage in any
high or lofty sense, and that, even as bar
gain, it is no better than line of faded
writing, or knot that slips aud does not
hold.
We take all this to be utterly dishonora-
Bile, TO call it by no harsher name. When q
marriage fails on both sides, and for causes
that make themselves known only by expe-
rlence and after trial, then the poor victims
OF mistake must arrange the broken frag.
ments of their happiness as best they can.
They are both to blame, both to be pitied
and both suffer alike. But it is in cases
where the one fulills all the terms of his or
her contract-asks, indeed, nothing better
than leave to fulfill them-and the other
breaks all his or hers, because the marriage
has not pleased, and the bargain is not re-
garded as thing to be held sacred; it is
then that we condemn, as we would con
demn any other dishonorable infraction of 6
stimulated undertaking.