Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1887-06-23
COLONEL sRALEY's LETTER.

COLONEL BRALEY'S LETTER.
Bill Nye Relates an Interesting Fourth of
July Experience.
In the summer of III was on the
committee chosen at meeting of our
citizens ito make arrangements for a
proper observation of the regular Ma
tional day which marks the onward
march of freedom. We selected a
proper place, hired lumber enough,
with pitch on it, to make seats secured
slender, long-w aisted Texas shoat
named Phallas to act as creased pig,
hired a band from town. got a
young woman with tall head and a
twenty-ounce pippin Adams apple to
read the Declaration Of Independence,
and then we began to cast about US for
good strong-voiced orator who
would remain tolerably sober till he
had made his speech. We looked the
ground over pretty well and at last de-
cided to call Colonel Braley, of Sage
Hen Rancho. call him Colonel Bra
ley because it suits my purpose better
to call him Colonel Braley. The gen.
tleman to whomI refer Is still alive and
I would like to be alsos
Therefore. I call him Colonel Bra
ley.
We wrote to the Colenel a pleasing
note, in which we refered to his genial
manners, his great popularity. and his
good sense upon MAKERS that would
naturally interest the people of our
section. We told him it was the gem
eral wish that he would favor us on
that occasion, AMI WE hoped for an
early and satisfactory feply.
In two days we ecehed the follow
ing, as well as / an abb to recall it at
this date:
SAGE HEN RAsCH. June ~, 1887.
MR. CHAIRMAN IND GENTLEMEN OF
THE FOURTH OF JUL{ COMMITTEE:
Your favor regarings a speech upon
the grounds neal ths old Buffalo
| Waller, on the Fourth II July, is re-
ceived. / am nospeak on such an
occasion as that, ad I therefore beg
to be excused. Thee ispnly about one
man out of ten thosant tn at can make
a good Fourth of-Jly peech, and he
is not, as genera thig, good for any
thing else.
In the first plae, I don't seem to
have the necessar,voiG. have tried
it once and did nj succeed. The ma
jority OF the crow weH home mad be-
cause they couldrt heir and the bal
ance went honl mad because they
could. So have't cd the voice. I
can stand over oirounl up No. and
talk to the foraan % No. easy
enough, butt cat talhagainst Sab
bath-school loadt with, fire crackers.
Moreover. geremen I am not a
ready thinker nder these circum-
stances. am man of fair bust
ness judgeme, r else /
couldn't have scomnbdated $500
head of No 1 lour-year-olds
worth $35 apiece Omas a with moth
ing to begin ON We yeFs ago but
condemned Govnmen1mu and a
hopeful disposltio. Yd will admit
that as a fnancr I al no SLOUGH, |
when tell you nat mall that five |
years the assessor1as nfer got near |
enough to hold onverltion with me |
or to sock valuation omy herd.
But it takes dferentind Of genius
to snatch great Dig pces out of the
} atmosphere and pounh pine table
and yip and yell Tor thebtarry banner
: free So will just elAy oak ynn tn
} be SO kind as to exctPhe.
7 Years ago ! triett when l was
I young and didn' fow any better.
: Now I have acqud sense and l re-
q frain.
t The trouble WHINE Is thas wnen
y oct I'M ON nv fee talk to large and
perspiring thropbf people my idees
, are like q buncy cattle in the stock
ward for instad The whole blamed
n crowd wants Il in through the shute
y and he ioadedo the same car at the
sana minnie else they won't con-
d demned one i'm agree to be loaded.
n That's the way can express it.
K I'VE either idees enough to load
3 car all at OF faster than I can get
rid Of ,em else can't think of
e blamed til Still, continuing to
!. carry oule comparison, gentle
= men " to say to. you that 1
have alsld big fat fve-year- .
old Mavefdee get wedged into my
head VIII tried to make speech,
and it W neither go ahead into the
s,eecb Jack out for five minutes.
- You cafy man of my position in I
iding before a mob of his 3
% fellow and twisting the tail of a !
reluctH ee till he is red in the face!
!. +fu, gentlemen of the COM r
y mite Pney don't pay a man for ,
y sucb lental strain as that. Five
d donH alarge drink do not recon-
i penlh. 1 therefore say to you. .
: re1h. take your money, take 9
. 11o1, and avaunt! say it polite
J " Purteously, but say to you in
!. lolsionate tones. I wish you would :
= Iand remain that way as long as :,
j. T
e my country. gentlemen, and
lie dear old flag. You dom hear
hg about it, though it's nothing
ASHAMED of, but have fought for
flag when, if I had listened to the
of conscience, / would have gone
hnada. Il
fam in favor of freedom, gentle
4, though think that good many n
TT know what to do with it when b
~ get it, but l am not good off c.
nd extemporaneous speaker on the "
urth of July. tt
[ am with you in the spirit on that II
" I will hour INV booI ,x,ba,, 49,. | O.