Mower County transcript., 1887-08-31
loose. There were six hand kerchiefs
waving wildly in the breeze il one in

loose. There were six hand dkercl liefs
waving wildly in the breeze in one IN.
stant. ,.-s.s:..G N
"By Jove, she's pretty. I wonder
who she is? That was meant for me-"
'1t WASH t. It was meant for me"
said everybody but little old man sit
ting on the bottom of the wagon, hid
den from sight. ~ x
Well" said he, ..I'llsbet#it was not
meant for me-" i. >" 4 4
"Why?" = = y + J
"Because she is my wife.
And dead silence fell upon the pic
mic.
" GEORGE, DEAR, AND THE MOON.
"When do you think the moon is at
its loveliest, George, dearp" she asked.
George, dear, stole his arm and a cau-
tious glance around the Immediate vicin-
ity and whispered:
'When it is behind q, cloud, love-"
and they were as happy as it they had
each taken hyplcrmc injection Of
morphine.
MISPLACED SYMPATHY.
Benevolent gentleman Ito intelligent
engineer)-Life on tho rail must be
very trying on the nerves, it is 50 full
of peril. ! y
Intelligent engineer-You'r ri ght sir,
It's. A man has to be on the constant
lookout, and even then accidents will
happen. About every month or so ]
run down man or two. Oh, it's
horrible!
Benevolent gentleman (emphatically)
1t must muss up the track fearfully.
PERFECTLY AWFUL.
A worthy clergyman who is passing
the summer in a small village at the
seashore has lost caste with the inhabi.
tants in a manner sufficiently innocent,
yet which has shocked the delicate
modesty of the entire community. A
good gossip of tho town said at the
sewing circle the other day with bated
breath and uplifted eyes:
IF you will believe it, l was going
down the street yesterday, and Mr.. r.
came out of his bathing house right be-
fore me and went into the water. ]
looked the other way and hurried, but
he didn't wait for me to get by, he went
right along as if I hadn't been there,
and he a minister, too. And that ain t
the worst of it, she continued, lowering
her voice, "When Miss White was
coming by a while afterward, he came
right up out of the water, and"-here
her voice sunk to an awful whisper,
''his legs were bare almost up to his
knees! Adelaide said she liked to "a
tainted! 1t is perfectly awful?'
NOT THE STYLE.
St. Peter Ito pilgrim)-You seem to
be a mild sort of young man, and I
guess I'll letyou in. But what's that
you've got on?
Pilgrim-That's pink cross-bar
shirt with white collar, sir.
St. Peter )closing the gate)-We
don't wear that combination here.
CATCHING MONKEYS
Papa, how do you catch monkeys?"
inquired Willie, who had been to the,
menagerie. 1.-The best way nowadays
1 think, is by means of double
barreled hustle a triple sized cartwheel
hat and fancy parasol.'
EYES," remarked Willie's mother
musingly; Il used to be very much
addicted to those little foibles before we
married."
PA IS MINISTER
"Where did you get all those but
tons asked lady of a little boy who
had thousand or more on a string.
"Why," was the reply ''don't you
know pa is a minister?'' "Yes," re-
turned the lady, "Everything," said
the boy, "because he has the sorting
of the collectio basket.
THE PATH TO FAME.
Griggs to Griggsby-Do you know,
old boy, they say our friend Mis- Smyth-
son, is the most distinguished American
aboard, and is the sensation of the sea-
son in London?
Griggsby-How comes that?
Gri ggs-Why, she is not admired by
the Prince of Wales.
THEY sWORE OFF.
.Does Grimes drink?'' inquired
| Smithers.
Nothing intoxicating,'' responded
Thompson.
'How does that Gomez"
"Why, the boys have got tired buy.
| ing it for him, guess"
FIRST CATCH YOUR LAWN.
Wife-"In the game of lawn tennis,
my dear, what is the most difficult
thing to acquire?"
Husband-''Thela lawn"
A Sparrow Fisherman,