davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

seedy looking man got aboard Chicago
day The train was about two miles out of
Racine when the conductor came up and
asked him for his ticket
Amt got any, but I'm railroad man my
self"
Where do you want to go tor
Chicago"
We'll, said the good natured conductor
reaching for the bell rope, "I'l do the best
can for you"
Thanks. thanks. We railroad men should
stand together"
Yes We have a heavy train today and
this Is down grade along here think the
train will run about so feet before it comes
to stop. I'll carry you that far with
pleasure"
A minute or two later the seedy looking
man was jumping off into the snow"
You're very kind, he said. "to carry me
even this far. But seein's we're both rail
road men, you know, couldn't you change
your mind and take me furtherP
Sorry can't oblige you, replied the CON
ductor, waving go ahead signal to the
engineer. "but the fact is that we have to be
very particular since congress has got TO
passing laws governing railroads Under the
law the most can do for you is to give you
a short haul Good day"
And the train pufIed on in the direction Of
Chicago.-Chicago Herald.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
The Application of the Rule.

Some time since the wife OF prominent
citizen of New York city was trying to instill
in the mind OF her 5-year old son what it
meant TO lie generous thus:
Now, Willie, dea,, suppose mamma should
give YOU a cake and tell you to give part of
it to Harry, and when YOU divided it one
piece was larger than the other; if you gave
il to him that would be generous, but il you
kept it for yourself that would be selfish. Do
YOU understand itf'
The little fellow thought he did
The next afternoon, wishing TO test the eff
feet of her teaching, she gave Willie a large.
juicy orange, SAYING:
Now, Willie take this orange and divide
it generously with Harry"
When, to her surprise, the child who was
passionately fond of orangesl gave it back to
her, saying, with a roguish twinkle in his
bonny blue eve:
Here, mamma won't you please give it to
Harry and tell him to divide it generously
with me. Judge.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

A miller sat iu a chestnut tree,
And cracked some ancient nuts for me.
He said that flour was as cheap as dirt,
That his hank account was badly hurt
By the prof.tleSs trade OF the dying year;
That -four was low and wheat was dear.
Ring out, my merry chestnut bell,
Ring sharp and clear, and TO him tell
That this same tale he told before,
And bid him tell it neyermOre.
The builder of mills. in his easy chair,
To me doth often sadly swear
That business TO the dogs must 90,
If prices keep SO very low;
That things look darkly blue and drear,
And SAYS. "Oh, shoot the glad New Year"
Ring out, oh, trusty chestnut bell,
Ring sharp and clear, and TO him tell
That this same tale he's told before,
And bid him tell it-nevermore.
Now let me sit in mine Office chair,
With my good big pen and my frowsy hair,
And let me write that in eighty-seven
Both millrrs and furnishers find their heaven
For prices will rise and profits will grow
And then can say, 4 told you So"
But hark, do hear a chestnut hell'
No tbs only a card, with words that tell.
As lay 1t away on my dusty shelf,
somewhat Of liar am myself"
Northwestern Miller.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

II will now quit fooling," said the ply
sician as he wrote out prescription, ''and
proceed to business Then he made out his
bill.-Pniladelphia Cali
Colored Hunter-Hold on dar, Abe! You'll
strain dat gun fus' thing You knows, tryin
ter shoot dat duck so fur off, an de weepon
nebber viii be no mo- count-Texas Sift-
ings
When a man becomes firmly convinced that
he is a genius, it is then that the fringe slowly
begins to form on the bottom of his trousers
leg-l.ife.
There is always sunshine somewhere" :"
says an exchange. II it were not for such
little bits Of information as this how stale. fat
and Improbable this world would be.-Bos
ton Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
why Were the Witnesses Not Producedo


In will case before a court and a rustic
jury, Jere Black appeared as counsel for the
youngest of three sisters. and sought to break
the viii on the ground that the two elder sis
ters had, with the assistance Of his learned
brother, the counsel on the other side cajoled
and coerced the dead father during his dying
hours into signing a will giving them all his
property and leaving the youngest daughter
out in the cold. Black. who was young then,
made a great speech 10 the jury, in which
king Lear" very naturally appeared.
"GOneril was at that bedside, gentlemen of
the jury" lie exclaimed. ~Regan was there
But where was Corielia!"
The jury remained out for some time. At
last they came in, but the foreman reported
that they could not agree. All of them ex-
crpt one man were in favor of the Youngest
sister. but the one man was not satisfied and
could not be satisfied about what he thought
a aaw in the evidence.
What is it!7 asked the court of the obsti-
nate juror.
why, your honor" said the fellow, If
Mr.. Goneril and MIR. Regain Were present. as
that lawyer said, why didn't he put them in
the witness box Philadelphia Record.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
DEACON BEDOTT
WRITTEN BY HIS WIDOW.

He never jawed in all his life.
He never was unkind,
And Though | say 1t, who was his wife),
Such men are hard TO find.
| never changed my single lot,
thought 'twOuld be sin:
thought so much of Deacon BedOtt
| never got married again.
If ever he spoke word in heat
His anger soon was DER
He always dressed in garments neat
That came from j. NJ. knote's store.
A wonderful tender heart he had
That felt for all mankind;
He told his friends that honest goods =
tJ. NJ. Knote's store they'd find.
Whisky and rum he tasted not;
Twas sinful. suppose;
And, being saving, Deacon BedOtt
Went to J. NJ Knote's for his clothes.
But. poor man. he died all the same.
My grief can't control
He left good clothes and an honest name
His widow to console.
The finest, most complete and cheapest
Line of oyercoats. gloves and underwear
In Springfield is at j. VI. Knote's
Globe Clothing House, 13 east Main st.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

In certain city in Connecticut there lived
a very small hoy with a liberal share Of small
Original sins" 1t is charged that one day he
was playing in front Of the house and over
heard some street gamin using slang express
sions profusely Mamma, mamma, whats
gone sucker!- Now, mamma did not in
the least know, but as her son had been dis
obeying her that morning she took the al
vantage of the opportunity tS point a good
moral "A gone sucker my son? Why, it
means naughty little boy who doesn't mind
his mother That night. as Johnnie was
saving his prayers, the full measure of his sin
seemed TO occur to him with awful signifi-
cance. and stopping short the usual petition
he cried out in the abandonment of his re-
morse. 20 Lord I'm gone sucker!"-Har-
per's Monthly.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Young Man 10 western young ladyl-Yaas,
I'm a inemier Of the Hare and Hounds club,
y'knov At last meet | was one of the
hareS
" stern Young Lady-What do you mean
by hare Mr. sissy
Young Man-They are called rabbits in
this country, | believe.
Western y"ung Lady-Oh, yes, those sweet
little animals with such long ears How
nice,-liarpcr, Bazar
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Gen. Grant had a strong aversion to being
interviewed, in the newspaper sense of the
word An ipcident occurred in Syracuse
during the presidential campaign of 1880
which first revealed to the writer the genial
side Of Grants nature. The ex president and
Senator Conkling were just bringing TO a
close their famous series of campaign meet
ings for Garfield and Arthur A correspond
ent who had accompanied them on their tour
through this state Ventursd to ask Mr..
Conkling i'll Gen Grants presence for his
opinion as TO Garfelds chances of carrying
New York. With aggrav ating sarcasm Mr.
ConklinG begged to be excused from making
guesses for the delectation of TIE general
n"hlie" Gen Gran: looked at Mr. Conkling
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Alcibiades, having cut of his dogs tail, met
Socrates in his market place, and was rebuked
for his folly.
Tell me, o Alcihiades, why in tho name
of Jupiter didSt thou chop of thy dogs taIli"
Because it was too long, Socrates. Is not
that reason enough!'
The reason thou giyest is no reason, fool.
For if thou sayest truly, there is as much ar
gument for cutting of the end of thy nose
Answer me again, Alcibiades, why didst thou
chop off thy dogs taili'
Again | say, o Socrates. the tail of the dog
was too long. And now that thou hast chided
me with words that sting like the fangs of
scorpions, let me prove TO thee, by the logic
of the sacred academy, that thou art the
greater fool
MAKE good thy boast, Alcibiades, or leave
me in peace"
Hear me then, o Socrates. Thou art the
greater fool because thou hast not cut of
thine own tales By Jupiter, they are much
too long. lid Bits.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

steadily for few seconds ami men r--
marked to the correspondent in a half apollo
getic tone, The senator does not seem TO have
his guessing cap on this morning l, how
ever, do not object to hazarding guess or
two on the result Of this campaign. | guess
that this state will 90 for Garfield and Ar
thur by a good handsome majority. And
with a mschlevouS side glance at ConklingJ
you may also say that | guess that Senator
ConklnIg gueSS1S 50 to New York Times
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

watched the smile on her rosy lips
As punched the cards and she stacked the chips
Give me the pack, my deal"
4 flourish. a fash, the shuffing done,
She dealt me a hand and | said in fun:
This time the pot I'll steal"
An ace, two treys, queen, jack,
But the card wanted was in the pack
A bob tailed flush | saw.
lone card, | said, when the bets were made:
l split the treys and drew a spade
Twas a club held before.
With her card she tapped her snowy chin,
And laughingly said ." | always win.
Come, I'll bat y0u all I've got"
I'm take YOU" said land saw her start
I'm 'rais.' you one and bet my heart "-
She called " me and lost the pot"
lid Bits
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Julia-And so you and Kate have made all
upl
Sarah-Yes, we've made all up and are as
good friends as ever. She kissed me two or
three times and | kissed her; and when she
kissed me was mad, and when had to kiss
her | could have bitten her. We are just as
good friends as We used TO be, but III never
forgive her.
Julia-yes, know exactly how you felt,
and of course any girl would feel Just the
same.-Boston Courier.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

John Taylor, in his "reminiscences, tells us
that he was much in the habit of visiting tho
green room of Drury Lane theatre in order
to cultivate all acquaintanceship with Lord
Byron.
He always" saws Taylor, received me
with great kindness. and particularly one
night when / had returned from a public
dinner and met him in the green room.
had by no means drunk much wine, yet as
seemed to him to be somewhat heated and
appeared to be thirsty, he handed me tum.
bier of water as he said, TO dilute me-
Detroit Free Press
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
4 Glimpse Into the Future.

He-I saw a lady at the theatre last night
with her bonnet on
She-You don't mean it! What could she
have been thinking of How everybody must
have stared at her.
He-YeS; she was the cynosure Of all eyes.
She was on the stage, you know, and her part
called for a bonnet
She-Oh, You great tease. How YOU fright
ened me, | didn'; know but that that odious
custom of wearing ones bonnet at the theatre
was coming in fashion again.-Boston Tran
scriDt
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
Adapting the Means to the End.

A certain German was very much blamed
by the e>owner Of a vicious dog which the
former had shot
why didn't you keep the dog Off with the
butt end Of your gun instead of shooting
himp exclaimed the irate owner of the de
funct canine.
"Nen dot tog comes at me tail first, den
pushes him away init de butt end of my gun;
but Ven he comes at me nit his biting end
first, den | shoots him NIT ter biting end OF
dot gun. Texas Siftinga
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
EDITOR GRADY AT HOME.
What a Reporter Saw In and About the
~angtnm.

In Nav last Memphis reporter who was
swinging around the southern circuit IN search
of newspaper tnat could nos exist without
his seryineL channad 10 visit Atlanta and
caiie-l upon M Grady
He savs. 1t was not exactly a friendly
call, as Nr Grady had not the honor Of my
acquaintance M mission was one of bust
hes exclusively. ami the social amenities of
journalism warc lost sight Of in the hope Of
getting job At almost anything a week. In
front OF The Constitution building ! saw three
reporters standing and gazing reverentially
NJ at the third floor corner window. | knew
them % lie reporters by their fashionable at
tire and intellectual f0reheads. | asked them
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
Strength, Perhaps, but No Inclination.

The old bachelor should remember there is
one thing he cannot do alone: he cannot kiss
himself-Wit and Humor We don't know
SO well about that. The man must be badly
broken down physically who hasn't strength
enough left to smack his own lips.-Memphis
Avalanche
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
He Knew Where They Had Been.

De Hang-Have you seen anything of my
slippers, Johnny
Johnny-No. sir.
you say.
JOHNNY amt seen m pop, honest.
Mamma KEEP my head down so low couldn't
see blamed thing. | amt sayin' nothin'
about feeliu' IN. though It'd Bits.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Ring out, wild bells, the chestnut crew.
The feeble quip. the ancient pun,
The jokes well known TO ev'ry one.
Rim. out the Old Ring in the new
HANDLER
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Sarah Jane-Wcll, Aunt Cruzer, did you
have n nice time at the Bowlers','
Aunt Cruzer-Nice time! Well. it's the
last time set foot in that house Why, when
come to go, they didn't even say, what's
me hurry -Harper's Bazar
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

From city in the Mexican state Of Jalisco
We have received the following request:
Editor Argonaut: Dear Sir-If you have
not any inconvenient, will request you send
me one exemplar of your accredited news
paper Ii his lecture is affability to me.
will tell you. and then you can send NE a suI-
scription. Please excuse me if am grievous.
Your most respectfully,
The gentleman is not at all grievous We
have forwarded a copy. and trust that the
lecture of The Argonaut will prove affabiiity
to him.-San Francisco Argonaut.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
At the Grand Central Depot.

Driver-HanSOmf
Statue OF Liberty Visitor from Elmira)-
Waai, dunno. II yer'd take little r that
air paint off yer bugle yer hight pass in a
craowd.-Tid Bits.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
ANEcDoTe OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

Reluctance in Permitting Men to be shot
. for Cowurdice-His Leg Cases"
In the earlier years of the war all the death
Penalties Of court-rnaTtial had To hc sent up TO
The president. as commander-in- chief, for ap-
I-ovai T.s-z -.lge Iol,. Tie judge sdyo-
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05


"Lucy, Lucy, my dear child, don't tear
your frock. tearing frocks is not of itself a
proof Of genius. But write as your mother
writes, act as your mother acts; be frank, loyal,
affectionate simple, honest and then integrity
OF laceration of frock is Of SIM lie import And
Lucy, dear child, mind your arithmetic. You
know in the first sum Of yours ever SAW
there was a mistake. You had carried two
las cab is licensed TO do, and you ought,
dear Lucy, to have carried but one. Is this
triie' What would life be without arith-
metic but a scene OF horrors' You are going
to Boulogne, the city of debts, peopled by
men who have never understood arithmetic.
BY the time you return shall probably have
received nv first paralytic stroke and shall
have lost all recollection Of you. Therefore,
l now give you my parting advice-don't
marry anybody who has not u tolerable un-
derstsnding and thousand a year. And
God bless You, dear child"
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
Cultures Progress.

That gurrul of moire Ill be afther deco
ratin' ivirythlng purity soon. There goes me
hod an shovel, bless her sowl! She's not ter
blame fur the Janyous that runs in ther fam
ily."-Judge
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

II you want to make fortune you must
produce something that appeals 10 the mil
lions, or to tho millionaires Jacksonville
Times
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

cate general ri tine army. Iald the nrsI cs--,
before the president, he replied, Wei. ] will
keep this few DAYS until ! have more time
to read the testimony That seemed quite
reasonable. When the judge explained the
next case Mr.. Lincoln said, Il must put this
bv until | can settle in my mind whether this
soldier can better serve the country dead than
living" To the third he answered, THE
general commanding the brigade is to be here
in n few days: | will wait and .alk the mat
ter over with him" Finally there was a very
fragrant case of a soldier who, in the crisis of
a hattie, demoralizel his regiment 10y his
cowardice, throwing down his gun and hiding
behind friendly stump. The coust martial
found that he had neither father nor mother
living, nor wife nor child; that he was unfit
to wear the loyal uniform, and that he
WAS thief who stole continually from his
comrades Here" said Judge Holt, ''is
a case which comes exactly within your
requirements. He does not deny his guilt;
he will better serve his country dead
than living he has no relations to mourn for
him. and he is not fit TO be in the ranks of
patriots" Mr.. Lincoln's refuge of excuse was
all swept away. Judge Holt expected he
would write approved" on the paper; but
the president, running his long fingers
through his hair, as he so often did wheL in
anxious thought, replied: We'll, after all,
judge, | think | must put this with my leg
cases leg cases." said Judge Holt, with a
frown at this supposed levity of the president
in a case of life OF death: what do Won mean
by leg cases, sirfr why, why" replied Mr..
Lincoln, do you see those papers crowded
into those pigeon holes! They are the cases
that you call by that long title, 'Cowardice
in the face of the enemy; but call them, for
short, my leg cases But l put it TO you,
judge, and leave it for You TO decide for
yourself: if Almighty God gives a man a cow
ardly pair of legs, how can he help their run
ming away with him"~-Hon. Schuyler Col
fax in Rice's "Reminiscences Of Abraham Lin
coin.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05
1 will sell the best grades of
Hard and Soft Coal.

=
few reasons why the citizens of Springfield
should buy their coal Of me is that as nave
been in the coal business in this city light
years, and know what good coali and dpn't
handle anything but the best quality Of coal.
ship all of my coal direct from the mines,
and gel the best coal mined. | dropped coal
from S3 - to $3.50 per ton. and now | drop 10 TO
>3.25. l kept coal from going up to si.tS per
ton last month. | don't belong to the coal
ring, and | sell coal at the lowest prices for
good coal and good weight. and IL the citizens
don't want to buy coal of the coal ring they
should patrOniZe me. aS | am the Gnly coal
dealer in the city that don't belong TO the
ring
Telephone No. sol.
Leave orders at the grocery stores of J. VI.
Mills, t6D south Center street. and Williamson
K Wallace. II south Market street.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

Owing to i'll health | viii sell at my resi-
dsnrc la town -, range Il. west. according
10 government survey. one crushed raspberry
co.ored COW. aged = wears She is good
mlk-;"r, and = NOT afraid Of the cars-or
ANYTHING clse. She Is COW Of undaunted
courage and give milk frequently. To man
who doc not fear death in any form she
would lie a great boca. She Is very much
attached To her home at present. by means Of
a trace chain. bat she viii be sold t. any one
vino viii aEE,a 20 treat her right She is one
fourth shorihorn and three fOurths hyena
Purchaser reel not - identified. ! will also
throw IL a double barrel shotgun which goes
with her. IE May she generally goes away
somewhere for week or two aid returns
with a tail red calf. with long, wabbly legs,
H. name l. Ro,a. and | would prefer to sell
her TO a non resilient.
You may keep this notice in YOUR paper till
YOU sell the low. We are all pretty well, and
hors, youT paper viii 'so sUif-sustaihing.
Ii / had four or five boys all engaged in
running uouSlapeTs that had liberal patron
"a, | don't lsileTe Ia have money enough 70
pay NV poll tax But | must now close by
A wing sD-l6u-. aS the fyl4cr says Your
father Bill Nyc IN Chicago News.
Springfield daily republic. [volume] (Springfield, O. [Ohio]) 1887-1888, 1887-02-05

4 negro in Alabama was brought up for
stealing pair Of chickens but declared, SOL
emnly, that he didn't steal dem ar fowls"
declaring on the other hand that the COM
plainant had beaten him brutally with
club
But said the Judge, you're twice as
large and strong as he is, why didn't you
defend yourselffr
Why, jedge, see hyar; had chicken in
each hand an what's two raw chickens agin'
q clubT-Life.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

ans powaer never varies AE'Inscr 4
=, strengtl and wholesomeh.' and cSSs]
mioal than the ordinary hussni,Itute 4
old In competition with we nhospbsn
lars Sold only nv the Rows!
company, lC6 Wall st New io"
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

projection against the worst results
of accidents it is doing genuine
service for the race, and presents
good far above mere partiZen consid-
erations. Now, do not delay, but
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

injection u curesinIwo tosix days.
Injection z will not cause structure
Injection the best and most reliable.
J Injection z full and complete.
injection z al al hrrt class druggists
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

Best summer drink on the market
is milk shake" st Williamson Il Co.'S.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

David y ao.-oo Liquid Broad or
Extra As.t, - b. s Little & Co.,
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23
ia rourIu slreel.


ready made suits are being offered by
us at very low prices, rs We must
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

dependency, Morris Cascarine is a
pauacea for these Ills.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

\ lL.ul...c. AbuInmn
~ HtEEAgu BROS.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1887-07-23

EATON Gr.S'S 90.