Daily Republican., 1887-06-20
hIRfn AND AlExRInENr.

Young wife: II never knew ny bur,
band 70 lose bis presence Of mind o.
sept once, and that wAs when we Were
married. 1t was TOO absurd. He VA
. pale ~ . sheet, and II took him
senrly i've minutes TO nnd the ring. ~
Old bachelor (srimly); "Pefhsps be
realized bis imminent danger, madam. -
4s1an ~ fecounting that her hus.
osnd ~ss m the night before, and IL
ives necessary to send for doctor ct 3
o'clock in the N orning. But l thouab t
Won had doctor In the house-your
eldest son?" said . neighbor. True:
hu' -. only let him doctor the Ger.
wants."
The dog fan cier and the bsby-Prond
parent: Flows that for . baby ?"
bachelor, who IL . great dog fanoier:
well, my experience with babies III
limited; but should think this one
might possibly be worth bringing up"
rh"n struck srddeplv with IN ID 60. he
puts the question: why not try 2"
"6ome folks say I'm copceited." 70
marked young Popinjsy the other day
"but I'm not. don't believein hiding
what talent I've got under . bushei,
that's oil. "ThAt's where you're right,
young man." exclaimed 3 bystsnder,
approvingly. II wonldn't waste .
nu,"ei Oh it II were you. A small.
sized pint measure would be amply
sufficient.
A master printer, lately Boosting Of
the neA. moss ami regularity Of bis wife,
said: "If l get up In the night, how.
ever pttch-dark, can ind my clothes.
down to my very gloves, all In their
proper places. was up this morning
before day light" he continued, putting
bis hand into bis pocket for his band
kerchief, "anc-" Here he pulled
ont. not his hand kerchisf, but his wife's
nightcspl
At the ball, Monistrol has Just con
Quoted his partner back to her place
But. instead Of retiring after the utual
com pliments, he plants himself In front
OF her with An air Of considerable ON.
barrassment. us there any thing that
you desire, monsieur" asked the lady,
noticing bis uneasiness mo, made.
m oiselle-tbst isl meAn-my crush
hat. which has the honor OF finding
itself actually upon the same chair Is
yourself.
Come" called q bridesmaid to the
bride, who WAS standing before . mir.
ror, touching and retouching; "they re
waiting for you; you look beautiful"
"Ob, yes, know that; brides always
do" swell, then, what are You stand.
Ing before tho glass for, when every.
thing 10 waitine?" "BscAuse, dear"
she answered, with provoking patience,
ut 10 we'll for one to indulge in rome
reflection before one gets married, you
know"
The following lie Q good plan, says q
FrenchmAn, to avoid tipping the waiter
st o restaurant: "When the bill comes,
pay 1t exactly. A certain involunta
expression OF astonishInent will bu visit.
BILE on the walters face, well.trair ed
though 1t may be. You should then
rise. saying to him, Il have made AN
excellent dinner; you manage the es
tablishment much batter than the pre-.
ceding proprietor did, During his rap.
ture at being mistaken for the owner OF
the restaurant you escape"
wife (resding the paper: "Well,
l declare II that len t the q ueerest thing
I ever heard Of" whats that?"
Wife: why, here In the paper is an
account OF o wedding In Manchester,
and among the wedding presents was
bull terrier given to the brids by her
father" Husband: IL don't see any.
thins odd about that. She was the old
mans youngest daughter, wasn't she?" |
Wife: Eyes; but what's that got to do
with it?" Husband: "Why, OF course; i
II she and all the rest were married, he |
bad no further use for the dog"
Mr.. Younghusband,t to rich father in. |
law: ~ am very much disappointed |
10 your daughter. sir. She has q
frightful temper, and 1 can hardly live |
with her" Rich fAther.in law, who is |
tired OF hearing complaints: 80 you
have said before. l am very much dis |
pleased with her, aud II hear any
more complaints, / shall disinherit |
her" Mr. Younghusbsnd. with an eye
TO the old N ans wealth: ooh, we'll, |
perhaps spoke hastily. She i,n't so
bad. In fact, find her quite charm
ing. hav- no complaints to make"