The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1887-03-05

| DESIGNING mantle architect

cooking.
LARGE revolvers - The earth and
the moon.
A REAL Knight Of Labor-The night
before Christmas.
MAN was created first Woman was
o sort OF recreation.
WHAT is il which can be right but
never wrong. An angle.
QUOTATION by the victim ut the dem
tists-How happy could / be with
eitherl
MANY n young man who has been
too bashful to propose to a girl has had
her father come into the parlor about
III o'clock and help him out.
THE Sweets of matrimony" doubt
less consist of honeyed words for the
first month and of candid expressions
for the rest of life Detroit Free
Press.
A PETRIFIED Indian has been ex-
humed in Arizona. The savage is sup
posed TO have been petrifed with as
constituent on discovering an honest
Indian agents. +. Nclus Letter.
Mr.. STANLEY, the explorer, says
that the greatest difficulty encountered
in building railroads in Africa is that
the ostriches eat up the rails as fast as
they are laid. -Norristorn Herald.
"How is il that you have never
kindled flame in any mans heart 2"
asked a rich lady of her portionless
niece. suppose aunt, it is because i
am not a good match, replied the poor
niece.
WIFE, don't see how You can say
that Mr. Whitechoker has an effeminate
way of talking. He has n very loud
voice Husband mean by an effemi-
nate way of talking, my dear, that he
talks all the time. Haiper's Bazaar.
VALERIE VnLEMER (Yassar So
But, auntie, all the researches of mod
ern science convince us that evolution
is the only theory to which we attach
any confidence. Amiable aunt-Well,
my dear, if you won't disturb my ances-
tors in the Garden of Eden j will
promise not to feed peanuts TO yours mt
the geological garden.-HdrUdrd Lam
po0n.
SECRETARY EvARTs uses some re-
markably long sentences, doesn't he ?"
said traveller TO his seat-mate. with
whom he had been discussing the vari-
Gus prominent statesmen. Eyes; but l
don't think any OF his can compare in
length to sentence that l heard Judge
Bromley get off last week" "What
was it?" twenty-five years. "-Mer-
chant Traueler
"HAs the Prince of Wales ever run
after You ?" asked the manager of an
NJ an, -
gretful reply, "but my name has been
coupled with those of Duke and two
Lords" Pm afraid, said the mana
ger, shaking his head, "that j can't
offer you any inducements. The Lord
business has become so common that
the American public has drawn the
line at the Prince of Wales. Judge.
EASTERN railway superintendent -
Some delay up the road. hear. Tele.
graph operator-Y two passenger
trains going Mt the rate OF sixty miles
an hour came together at Cliff Cross.
ing. "Cliff Crossing! There's a big
embankment at that point" Eyes.
both trains went over the precipice.
! Well it won't take long TO get the
track cleared, then. J. was afraid il
might be something serious. Omaha
World.
SIR Francis HASTINGS DOYLE put
the following good story into his lately
published book of "reminiscences
James Allan Park was worthy old
! Judge, believer in special providences
and extremely eccentric. He was in
the habit of talking aloud to himself
without knowing it. In one case that
came before him the prisoner was ac-
cused of stealing some fagots, and Park.
on the bench, was heard TO mutter
something TO this effect, that no did
not quite see his way 10 "A verdict. one
fagot being as like another fagot as
one egg is like another egg. The quick
cared barrister retained for the de-
Tense caught these murmurings from
above, and instantly made use of them.
"Now, Witness" he cried out, "you
swear TO those fagots; how dare You do
such a thing? Is not one fagot as like
another fagot as one egg is like another
egg?" Immediately the Judge, who,
though good man, had certainly no
claim to he an angel, rushed in without
any proper apprehensions. "Stop the
case" he shouted, stop it at once; the
coincidence is quite miraculous. vow
To God that very same thought in the
very same words passed through my
mind only few seconds ago. Heaven
/ has interfered 90 shield an innocent
man. Gentlemen of the jury, you will
acquit the prisoner.
Something Else That Needs Checking.
IL isa delighted innovation ON the