davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

MY grandfather, who necessarily lived
before was born for the purpose Of occupy
ing the position Of father to my mother, was
also physician-one Of the old fashioned
sort, who travelled and practiced on the rela-
lively small stock and capital Of lancet and
blue bill, and who puked and purged his
patients in the simple, strong and vigorous
style OF the timo that tried mems souls in the
days OF 10" and consequently killed or
cured IN much shorter period than Is &c
complished byt the present more scientific and
refined style OF medical practice, which. In
my unfortunate way Of thinking, too often
putters around q sick man or woman pre-
scribing spoons and tumblers and glasses OF
water, and No. and No. 8 to be taken once
every half hour, first out Of one tumbler and
then out OF the next, until the patient forQets
which one she did take out Of last, and con-
sequentiy lives or dies altogether as she
pleases. My grandfather, l say, was a phy.
stefan, and when he died left his library be-
cause he couldn't take it with him, not being
able to take out Of this world any more than
he brought with him, IL, indeed, he did Us
much
Wen, ], when boy, had access to his
library, and, being Of studious and medita-
tive turn of mind, at times used TO pour over
those medical works in order TO find out what
was the matter with mo when / was sick. for
from the age OF TO 10 was sick quite often,
sometimes with complaints 7 ought to have
had, and sometimes with complaints which
boy OF that age had no business TO have. But
in every case when went to my poor dead
grandfathers books / always had the COM
plant wanted, and found that every symp-
tom laid down in the book fitted the disease
was after. Prentice milford in San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
War ON BaIdness.


A lecture was delivered recently In st.
James hall on the striking subject OF
"Trichology and Badness There Is, it APP
pears, a British Pathological association,
whose president, Mr.. q. w. Wheeler, deliv-
cred the address, and there Is going to be, IL
1t can be got up, a hospital for the treatment
of hair diseases, War Is thus TO be made on
bald heads. The advice TO the possessors Of
Irish shillelahs--'' when you see bald head
hit tits modified in the case OF ttricholo-
gists, with whom the neH maxim is, ssWhen
you sec bald head study IT," 'When our
hair or its appendage gets out Of order it
gives signs and symptoms OF such.n So says
the learned president of the Psychological
association. Science often awes us with an
impressive obscurity of language, but we
read on.
The upshot Of 1t all Is that the bald are to
be deprived Of the comfort and consolation
of a modern theory that the hairy man Is a
survival Of the savage, and that as civiliza-
ton increases hair decays The .ssigns and
symptoms OF SUCH are to be studied by
special class OF men--the trichologists--
a view to restoring lost hair "Why should
hairdressers be allowed to humbug the public
when there Is a true science Of Technology
which would benefit manldndp So asks
Mr.. Wheeler. Why, indeedi But Is there
no humbug elsewherei The president of this
association, which aspires TO charter and to
an examining body, does not "for minute
entertain the idea that trichologists will ever
make hair grow on all bald heads any more
than our best physicians can raise the dead.
He frankly adds that setrichology is O
science considerably yelled In mystery.p
That being So we will not have bald heads
Knocked. London News
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
a couNTERFgITER,s srRArAegM.

His Wild Ride in the Hope of Being
Able to Prove an AIibi.
No man loved an alibi better than Jim
Brown, known in 0hio's past history as
Chief of the Counterfeiters Of Cuyahoga. y
This band of outlaws dealt principally In
bogus money, and their favorite wav Of
escaping Justice was by proving an alibi.
Inc band was SO numerous, so scattered,
and, withai, so loyal, that any sort Of evil
dence to show that defendant was some
where else than at the place of the alleged
crime at the time Of its commission was al
ways Forthcoming from the mouths Of wit
nesses who often stood high in tho commu-
nifty for veracity To prove an alibi Jim
Brown once rode horseback from PittsburR.
"a, to Boston, Summit county, o., a dis
lance of about 100 miles, In one night.
The officers arrived at Boston, Browns
home, few hours after his own arrival.
They arrested him. On his trial several wit
nesses swore that they saw him at shutdown
the day previous to his arrest at Pittsburg.
On the defense, Brown proved by a score OF
good witnesses that he was at home at sun
rise the morning Of his arrest, and that his
horse was sleek and fresh that day as though
1t had not been ridden for a month. The
court held that Brown could not have ridden
the distance in that time, and discharged
him. But he did ride it, and afterward told
how 1t was done. Finding himself certain to
be arrested II he stayed in Pittsburg GER
tain night, he saddled his horse-a splendid
animal--and as soon as 1t was dark started
out on his wild ride of 100 miles. For the
first thirty miles his horse kept bravely and
steadily to his work. Then Brown noticed
by the irregular reach and labored breath
that the terrible strain was telling upon his
faithful brute.
AT the next tavern Brown procured a pint
OF whisky and, putting half of it into small
quantity OF water, gave it to his horse Then
ON the road again, his willing animal work
ing more steadily. At every hill he would
dismount and run beside his horse till IL was
passed, then on and away, to stop at the next
tavern to give his horse more whisky and
water. In this way galloping furiously
along levels, running on foot up and down
hills, and stimulating his steed with all the
caution skillful physician would bestow
upon patient critically sick--he reached his
home before daybreak, where confederate
was found todevote his entire attention TO
the jaded horse, while Brown purposely
showed himself to as many neighbors as pos
sibie, who testified as before stated. --Cleve.
land Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
rreatment d wrlters, cramp.

NJ Wolf, one of the most eminent practi-
TONERS in Europe, has given special attention
to this ailment for some five years past, and
has been very successful in a majority of the
large number of cases treated The malady
is not, he says, confined to writer's, but may
occur In any individual whose occupation
brings into constant play one set of muscles
that is, the pianist, the telegrapher and tho
ballet dancer may suffer from these cramps,
or from an inability to perform the acts pc
culiar to his occupation. The cramps are
merely symptoms of diseased condition, the
exact seat of which is matter of dispute,
some locating 1t in the brain, others in the
spinal cord, while there are those who regard
the nerve centers as in no wise affected, but
trace the source Of the affection to tho nerves
themselves.
VOLTS method consists in the application
Of gymnastics, combined with massage, to
the affected muscles; the rubbing and some
times gentle striking of the muscles with q
wooden bar, together with regular move-
ments of the fingers or other defective parts,
are continued for several weeks, during
which time not more than one hour daily Is
devoted to these exercises. -New York Tri-
btine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
SHOE BUCKLES AND GARTER CLASPS.

Oxidized silver takes the lead in shoe
buckles for every day wear
A disc of oxidized silver is ornamented
with spider or other insect.
The small buckles for low cut slippers are
of Etruscan gold, or of gold and cut steel.
In garter clasps, two daisies in enamel
overlapping each other is favorite design.
A buckle for evening wear is of silver, the
outside edge being ornamented with forget
me-nots in enamel.
Rhine stones set in silver make effective
buckles for evening wear. There are also
fine wrought buckles in silver,
A very pretty pair Of clasps is ornamental
with design OF four leaf clovers, and an
other pair has a checker board pattern in
enamel
In gold, an ivy vine in green enamel is Of
fcctive. These clasps have patent fasten-
Ing, SO that there is no danger of their becon.
ing undone.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

In shooting gallery in Louisville hangs a
valuable pistol, one worth about $780, which Is
the property of whoever will como and take it
after fulfilling one trihing condition. The
condition is that he shall equal feat in pis-
toll shooting once performed in this same gal
lery A target was set up at the usual dis
tance for pistol practice, and about the white
moderately large ring was drawn about as
wide at any point on the circumference as q
quarter Of dollar On this ring fifty marks
were made, SO that the center OF the target
was surrounded by circle composed OF fifty
white spots. These were the marks, com
petitors having fifty shots each. William
Hanlon, ono OF the famous acrobats, is
great pistol shot, and some years ago sue
ceeded in making the remarkable score Of
forty-nine out Of fifty possible hits. This
score has never been equaled, and the beauti-
full pistol offered as prize still hangs In the
gallery awaiting an owner.--C Chicago Tri-
bune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
A coLoREo BURGLAR CAUGHT.
Paraiyzed by Strong Current Of EIec-
tricity--A Coed Effect.

Paraiyzed by Strong Current of Elec-
tricity--A Good Effect.
Eyes, we have had quite number of
amusing experiences with burglars who sue
ceeded in getting into our buildings but did
not succeed in getting away. One of these
occurred not longer ago than q fortnight
The case never got into the papers. An at
tempt was made to rob the Office of one of the
largest dry goods houses down town, where
it was well known that considerable sum
of money was kept in the safe. Well, at
about 3 o'clock in the morning we heard q
most determined ringing of the indicator in
the main Office, and we sent out squad of
men to the scene of the disturbance Soon
the squad returned They said that when
they got into the office they saw big, burly
negro at the safe with one hand on the knob
and the other on the combination wheel. But
he was by no means in q meditative mood.
He was dancing up and down, his eyes start
ing from his head, tho kinks nearly out of his
woolly head and screeching like mailman.
He no sooner saw the men than he begged
them for help.
g Let go, you IDIOT exclaimed one Of
them, and come over here and give an nc
count of yourself
"sCan't, sah Ow, how il burns
"Then came a succession of blood curdling
yells and finally the fellow fell to the floor
unconscious. The men picked him up and
found that the palms of the Negroes hands
had been blistered and that he was for the
time paralyzed by the strong current OF cleo
tricity. The negro was soon restored to con-
seriousness and then told his story. He had
succeeded in obtaining the combination
through some carelessness of the cashier In
leaving memorandum about and had en-
tered the Office, where he was employed as a
sort of janitor, for the purpose of robbing
the Safe. Had he succeeded in doing so, sus-
picion would have undoubtedly fallen upon
the cashier, as he was the only person who
had the combination The negro got into
the office with ense and so rang the Alarm
Then he went to the safe and was quietly re-
volving the combination wheel when no
thought he would see whether the knob
worked hard or not He no sooner laid his
hand upon the steel than tho circuit was
completed, and the powerful current of cleo
tricity with which the safe was charged
swept through him and deprived him of
power TO do anything save to howl and dance
and cling TO the door of tho safe. Had he
been man Of less robust physique the shock
would have killed him. He win never trihe
with a safe again-that you may depend
upon. This was not an extraordinary ex-
perience with us. We have caught several
burglars after the same fashion, and their
adventure with electricity has had the good
effect of reforming them into an at least
temporary appreciation Of the error OF their
ways New York Commercial Advertiser.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
A shrewd Advertiser.

"My starsl" exclaimed man, showing some
one who stood near him, 'syou have trod on
my corn.n
The fellow snatched out box of ointment,
and replied; II can relieve you, sir, in few
minutes. Only ten cents. Endorsed by the
medical fraternity everywhere. There is no
use in suffering. One boxi Thank you,r he
added, as he put the money in his pocket.
ut was an accident you found him, some
one remarked to the salve dealer.
"Oh, no, it wasn't. II you ask a man If
he's got corns he don't want to talk to you,
but when you find out that he's got em the
chances Of selling him medicine are good l
advertise my medicine by going into crowds
and slyly feeling for corns. Yonder stands
a fat fellow. When the crowd gets thicker
Ill go over and tap his hoof Oh, yes, 1t
may be painful, but, my dear sir, the bust
ness of this country must be carried on re-
gardless of sentiment. n-Arkansaw Tray
alay.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
WHO SHALL BE rAIREsTs

Who shall be fairestg
Who shall be rarestf
Who shall be first In the songs that we 0inga
She who is kindest
When Fortune is blndest,
Bearing through winter the bloom Of the spring,
Charm Of our gladness,
Friend of our sadness,
Angel of life, when its pleasures take Hingi
She shall be fairest,
She shall be rarest
She shall be first in the songs that we singi
Who shall bs nearest,
Modest and GesresG, ~
Named but with honor and pride evs..s-- Ire.
He, the undaunted
Whose banner is planted
On Glorys high ramparts and battlements boar:
Fearless of danger,
To falsehood stranger,
Looking not back while there's duty beforel
He shall be nearest,
He shall be dearest,
He shall be first in our hearts evermorei
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD
BELVIDERE DIVISION

Trasns for NssS York and Philadelphia
On and after June 25th 1887.
Leave Manunka Chunk TOO m, and 1920, 4.20
Leave Belvidere 1905 m, and 1927, 425 and 1856
pm.
Leave Phillipsburg 7.26 a m, and 100, 4.52 and
1903 pm.
Leave Frenchtown 1853 m. 1886, 522 and 1888
pm
Arrive Lambertville $50 m. 1850 and 6.i8 m.
Leave Lambertviile 7.05 and $50 m, 2.0s, $3.50,
and s.04 pm.
Arrive Trenton TAO and 1858 a m, 242. Gs5 and
Arrive Philadelphia fKensington) 9.i5 and 1853
IN, 4.07, 800 p IN, and 1919 night.
Arrive philadelphia Broad street Station) S.4S
and y.55 m, $50, Z. so and $50 pm.
Arrive New York, via Trenton, 9.20 and 10.40
a n. 4.50, $50, and 1925 pm.
Trains from Philadelphia and Hew York
Leave New York, via Trenton, 7.2O, lilo a m
200, $40 and 500 m.
Leave Philadelphia Kensingtop) 740 m, 1905,
l.5s, 2 50 and 5.35 m.
Leave Philadelphia Broad Street station) 500
a m, 1901, 2.40, 4.00and 800 pm.
Leave Trenton 9.05 m, l.2o $50, 454 and 705
pm.
Arrive Lambertville s.4oa m. l.ss. 4.25, 524 and
TAO p m.
Leave Lambertville for Flemingt0n 9.44 m. 200
and 5.25 m.
Arrive Flemington 1914 m, 2.55 and $50 m.
Leave Lambertyille for Manunka Chunk $40
Leave Frenchtown 1911 m, 2.2s. $50 and s.l3
pm.
Leave PhiIlipsburg s.s2 and Io.4s m, 1903. s25
Arrive Belvidere loooand ii.i2 M, 1881 $50,
9.23 pm.
Arrive Manunka Chunk 1907, iI.2o m. 8 IS.
700 and $50 pm.
Belyidere and Easton Accom-. leaves Lehigh
Janction 7.30 q. M, and arrives Belvidere 800
q. m. Returning, leaves Belvidere $40 a. M ar
rives Lebigh junction 8.38 q. m.
Additional train leaves Lehigh Junction, $50
a. M, arrives Manunka Chunk 1907 a. m.
Additional trains leave Belvidere for Manunka
Chunk $40, q. m. and 40g D. m. Returning, leave
MAnunka Chunk for Belsidere los a. M and
.35 p. IN.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk at 6.l0 a. m, Belyidere 6.22 a. M, arriving
Lehigh Junction ITO =. M; and train leaving
Manunka Chunk 1918 q. M, Belvidere 1923 a. m.
arrive Lehigh junction 1i.ss m, carry pas
sengers.
Connection 10 made at Manunka Chunk with
Delaware, Lackawanna g. Western Railroad Le-
high junction with Lehigh Valley, Lefigh q sus-
quehsnna, Morris Essex, and New Jersey Central
Railroads. AtLambertsillew With Pennington Rail-
road. At Trenton with trains to and from New
York, Camden. DC.
Forfurther Information see time bles which
can be obtained a the ticket Offices:
General Manager. GeneralP ssssnssr Agent
r. w. JACKSON.
0en,lSupt. U. r. r. ofN.J Div.
FRANK ELLMAKER, supt, Beividere Div
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
A WET JUNE /. DAY.

.scents, sounds as of November ill the air;
OF myriad blossoms down wet pathways
strown
OF ragged leaves off steaining branches blown,
And dropped into dank hollows hero and there.
Keen little gusts go whiring through the hush,
Driving the mists before them up the lane.
And loi the lovely world grows ours again.
The orchard fences, the one elder blish
Prone with its white face in the thick drenched
grass;
The rows of apple trees, gnarled, dripping,
sweet;
The highway withits pools agleam like glass.
Then, as still speeds the mist on shining feet
Meadows and wood, peaked roof-beyond them
show
windy west the color of rose.
-Lizette Woodwork Reece
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

Father trying to read the paper What
was that awful racket in the hall just nowf
Mother--One Of the children fell down the
stairs
Father drascibly)- Well, you tell those
children that IL they cannot fall down stairs
quietly they won't be allowed to fall down
them at all. New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

A German physician, In an article on the
late Professor Langenbeck, enumerates the
many improvements which surgery owes to
him. His methods were used during the last
war with France, and thanks to this circum-
stance thousands of soldiers now possess their
limbs in sound condition, which the doctors
Of tho old school would have amputated.--
Cleveland Leader.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

both synods in the funds collected for this
purpose.
Nearly 100 missionaries are leaving Eng
land during the next two months in connec-
ton with the Church Missionary society, the
Church of England Zenana mission, and
kindred evangelical organizations. OF these
just fifty go from the Church Missionary
society alone, either as clerical or lay mission
aries, missioners, missionaries wives or
Zenana workers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
AIR. Fresi,ry,s Excuse,

Instructor (sternlyl--Mr Freshly, this IL
the third time that you have handed in only
thrss pagcs of written matter, while the rest
Of the class hand In five.
Freshly, 9l-Yes. sir, but [struck with a
bright ideal use ever so much thicker pa
psr.--Hsrvard Lampoon.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
A Needed Invention.

There was an invention patented few
years ago having trap doors opening in
wardly in tho floor of railroad cars. It
seems as though 1t might DO used to advant-
age in many cases, allowing exit when the
car overturned, half or fully, and the ends in
contact with others Boston Budget.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

According to DR.. Gerard, the inconven-
fences resulting from bites by mosquitoes and
gnsts, especially when recent, may be re-
lieynd by rubbing the bitten spot with chloro-
form. The swelling quickly decreases and
tho pain and itching disappear Scientific
American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
SIX Production in Kansas.

Kansas is trying to encourage silk produc-
ton and has, by act of legislature, estab-
lished station where eggs will be distri-
buted and reelers educated. Ten acres have
been set out with mulberry trees and fifteen
reels arc now running, producing, it is said.
excellent silk.-New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
Only n Little Word.

1t was only word
That the silence stirred,
But an import sad had it,
A knell Of despair
TO loving pair
Twas her fathers one word, "Gitr'
Boston Budget.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
srustn,t Fool with Dynamite.


The force Of habit is always strong. A
Baltimore young man who was calling on
street cdr conductors daughter says that the
father wandered in at rather late hour and
opening the parlor door, mechanically ex-
claimed, sSit close, pleasei' Baltimore
American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
Angels without wings preferre.l.

They were doing little love making be-
tween acts.
Just as the curtain went up he called her
his angel.
s'Say,n said man in the next seat back,
Couldn't you get your angel to wear her
wings somewhere besides on her hatf-Cbi-
cago Times.
srustn't Fool with Dynamite.
Some dynamite lay
In keg one day,
Which man kicked accidentally;
Now he whangs the Tyre
OF celestial choir
In the realms of the sweet subsequently.
-ogdensburg Earth.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07
The News Editor

Producing many q brilliant gem.
A credit TO his taste,
IT'S hard to think OF each OF them,
The settings only paste.
Chicago Tribune,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1887-12-07

sStephen, do sincerely hope and pray
that nothing may occur to mar your pros
poets, for should certainly consider rupt-
ure at this stage calamity of tho most la
mentable kind. Dear old fellow, here you
are full five and thirtya-
The Memphis appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1886-1890, 1887-08-18
ADDITIONAL RIVERS.

WHEELING, Ausust lI.-Hisht-River
binchss and stationary. weather rainy.
VICKsBUR0, August i7.-Nlsht-De-
partedi hrksntn Ciiy, 81. Louis, pm.
PITrSBURg, husust IT, Night River
stationary. Weather cloudy and pleasant.
EVANSVILLE, Augun i.-HlEht-kiyef
feet Inches aoant aud falling. weather
rainy.
CINCINNATI. August l7.-Hlshl-- River
4 feet Inches and stationary. Weather
rainy and cool.
NEW ORLEANS, August II. -Nisbt-De.
partedi City q 81. Louis, Future CitJ and
bafses, 81. Louis.
LOUISVILLE, August II.-Eisht--Rivei
stationary with feet inch In the canal and
II inches on the falls, Weather clear and
warm.
ST, LOUIS, August i7-Night-Rlver Ii,eu
;l0 feet and the Fauss now mark. feet.
weather clear and cooler. hffiVedi 10
Memphis, NiokaDurs. DopariedI Bald Ia
Els. Tennessee river.
CAIRO, August lT.-NlEhi-RIyer feet
ard falling. Weather cloudy and warm,
Arrivsdf 7. b., Sims, Memphis, pm. De-
parted John 0ilngfs, ~. Louis pm
sidney Dillon. New Orleans, p'm'