The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1887-06-09
TWINKLES.

we'll wager it's more than he earns
nowadays.-TM-BHs.
De frien' dat praises yer to yer
face an talks erbout yer when yer's
gone, puts me in mine O de man dat
will tell yer de trufe an den stea! yer
hat.
The brewers claim that they lose
money on every keg of book beer
sold. But that is not so bad as it
is with the consumers. Trey lose
money on every glass they purchase.
A Philadelphia clothing firm adj
vertises call wool boys SUITS What
queer children there are in Phiiadel-
phia! Wonder if they are a yard
wide as we'll as al wool?
A Chicago millionaire recently
paid $1,000 for a Bible. Such ig-
norance as to tile rarity of this book
is lamentable. We have assurances
that there are several copies of It in
Chicago.-The Judge.
A Philadelphia woman, not 40
wears old, draws salaries amounting
to upwards of $4,000 year. Sit
down, ladies'; sit down. She draws
the salaries as cashier to pay off the
hands.-Detriot Free Press.
A writer in q scientific paper as
serts that the critical period in
mans life is between the ages of ~
and 30. We always had an idea that
he begins to be critical about SIX
weeks after marriage.
In the matter Of speed there is
great similarity between a flash OF
lightning and q bit Of unfounded gos-
sip.
If good pennies had one of the
qualities of bad pennies, that of soon
returning, they would be much i'm
proved.
Honesty is more precious than
gold, although it cannot equal gold
in opening the way into a fashionable
citv church. WhNehaU Times.
The State Medical Society at its
recent session at Lansing took no
action against writing prescriptions
in Latin, and the public will still
have to pay s1.65 for a vial of salt
and water, written: Chlorine OF
sodium, three saw teeth; aqua fontana
f. s. m.-Detriot Free Press.
"Good by, old boy. I'm sorry
you've got to leave u.s."
Fate has decreed it, my friend,
and 1 am as content to leave the
world now as l ever should be-
and you have no shaGow ofill'will
toward me at parting, have you? ?"
"No, indeed, sir. We have always
been warm friends in this world and
I am sure We shall be warmer ones
in the next" ."-Yonkers Gazette.
Missionaries say that in China the
people pay rapt attention to preach
ing when they don't understand a
word Of what is said. While preach
ing ole day a missionary noticed a
man who seemed llyintercsted
and paid marked attention apparently
to what was being said. Thinking
that here was an opportunity of
reaching an earnest soul he directed
all his attention to him, and was con-
siderably non.plussed when, at the
end of about fifteen minutes, the man
turned to his neighbor and said in
an audible tone, '.He's drunk -
A man came into the sanctam with
fence rail to annihilate the editor
for an alleged grievance. The latter,
who was whiting, looked up and
said: MY friend, did you ever con-
slider that, even if you did thrash me,
you could not stop the publication Of
this paper, and it would be the worse
for you, because my successor would
be bound to get even with you. You
may litk the editor to your hearts
conent, but the newspaper goes on
forever" And, instead OF thrashing
the editor, the man left the fence rail
as part payment Of his subscription.
The Sacramento Record Union re-
ports that c.. H. Orr, a prominent
young lawyer of South Carolina, is in
Marysville, CAL, as representative of
colony of South Carolina people,
having from $500 to $4,000 each,
and comprising many families, who
have resolved to remove to California,
and have commissioned Mr. Orr to
locate them.
The Eclectic for June.