The Washington critic., 1887-01-26
CHRONICLES OF TocoME.


And 1t came to pass, on certain day in
the City OF Tocome, the capital Of the King
dom of Newtime, that the Ruler of the
country proclaimed day Of Recompense
and Retribution;
And from the four quarters OF the land
came the people to witness the manifesto
tions of the Rulers power.
And the Rulers name was Susan b., be-
ing the first of that dynasty.
When all the people had gathered about,
and were clamorous, the Ruler came forth,
surrounded by heralds and Amazons, and
ascended the throne of Justice.
From her shoulders hung gracefully
ralment of swallow tail and her vest was
cut decoliete, as Is the court fashion; of
black cloth also were the trousers; her
shoes were of patent leather, exceeding
poi' ted at the toes. and on her head there
was hat, which by the ancient writers was
called an "opera plug"
In one hand she carried sceptre, and in
The other pair Of gloves made from the
skin of young goat.
Then the hcralds proclaimed, with loud
voice "IIal to the Ruler OF Tocome jus
lice and Equality Let the cradles be hewn
aud fashioned into ballotboxes The old
time has passed away and the Newtime is
ut hand.n
And straightway the Amazons brought
into the midst OF the Temple company OF
mer, some bound and In chaiss, others gar.
landed and bearing in their hands franklin
cerse and myrrh.
And these men were very like unto
United States Senators.
Then the Ruler lifted up her voice and
| cried: Asy have done, SO shall ye be re-
warded. To the one, Recompenss OF power;
| to the other, Retribution forever.
And those in garlands stood forth and,
bowing low, kissed the heel Of the Rulers
patent feathers, and the others cried sorely:
"Woe is us; woe, woe and bitterness. This
cometh Of voting against female suffrage,
and they fell upon their faces in the dust.
Thereupon the Amazons took them and
cast them out Of office, and they fell with q
dull, sckening thud. And their names
were Beck and Berry and Blackburn and
| Brown and Cull and Cockrell and Coke and
so on through the Alphabet, to the number
of34.
But the others were made great in the
City of Tocome.
And the Ruler laid her sceptre upon the
| bead Of Blair, and she commanded the
| heralds: Announce to all peoples that this 1.
my well-beloved, this the first lady OF my
royal court. Clothe him in MotherlIlub
bard of royal purple and get him quilted
| pettIcoats OF richest silks, and his nam,
shall henceforih be Pufrectlady and h,
shall hand II down to all that come afte
him. Let the others, also, be attired richl,
in dounces and bustles, and let the ralmen
they were wont to wear be parceled out Il
our Amazons as armor.
And 1t came to pass as the Ruler com
manded and Blair and Brown aud Cheney
and Conger and Cullom and Dolph aud Far
| well and the others to the number OF II
tripped away to the dressmakers to ge
them Mother nubhirls, and to enter int
the recompense of their reward.
"You wouldn't think that man had liille,
eighteen men In hanl-to hand conflicts
would you?n said Il newspaper man in th
senate Press Gallery to visiting edito
during speech by Senator Evarts.
Great heavens, no - excl ,imed the editor
edglng around to get better look at tn
tlood-thirsty Senator.
"Neither would anybody else reptile,
the other, with a chestnut-il,vored laugh
THAT'S Senator Evarts; he never killeI
anything In his life but some legislatv
measure or other"
The editor recovered his equanimity, an'
said II they called that Capital humor,