South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1887-11-25

nc to do. This pant Those are my
potatoes. To save time / boiled them
with their skins on. Don't they look
nice1 Oh, yes; and here's . dish Of
rice. The girl told me to cook Il quick
and hard, but I'm afraid I've got Il too
starchy. However, guess we can eat
it. Now, dear you sit down and read
your paper, and Kitty and I will put on
dinner, won't We, petl' and with this
Mrs. Single stopped to stroke her cat.
When the dinner came on Mr.. Single
buried his face in his napkin and said
nothing. He even projected a four
horse power smile across the table, and
congratulated Mrs. Single on her mar
Vicious success. Then he cut of the
birds claws, severed the feathcred head
and neck from the body, carved the un-
dulating bosom of the fowl, and applied
some Of the stuffing from the adjacent
vegetable dish. Then he gravely put
some of the broiled and dried-up cram
berries on side dish, and with '.jack-
eted" potato as punishment passed to
Mrs. Single her portion. While Mrs.
s. wns cutting up her cats dinner she
went chattcring on:
Il think it is so nice, dear to be able
to eat ones own dinner, cooked by ones
self. 1t is such comfort to know that
You are independent Of these wretched
girls. Don't you think so2 Why, what's
the matteri'
Mr.. Single had by this time shaved
off slice Of turkey bosom, aud was
cndeavoring to make away with it. It
was very dry, and his face seemed to
reveal something. Dear" he said, did
anybody ever tell you that the place for
turkey stufiing was inside the turkey,
not on vegetable dish!"
why, MOI The girl simply said pre-
pare your stufiing so and so-who said
it was TO go insidei'
Nobody; my mother used to do it
that way" said Mr.. Single meekly,
chats ALL"
Here Mrs. Single began to bristle up,
and she remarked, DWELL / wish your
mother had been then to cook this fur
key"
Poor, dear soul, so do J." replied Mr..
Single tilially.
Mrs. s. looked at her liege, but hardly
knew how to take the remark.
'Now, dear" pursued the gentleman,
chow do you like fussing and cooking,
anyhow"
BY this time Mrs. Single had begun
her own dinner. She nibbled at her bit
Of turkey, she tasted the dressing, she
toyed wish the broiled cranberries and
buttered up her potato. Then she said
after "A moment, rather softly, ''Uxor."
''What, dearl'
''Do you know somehow this doesn't
seem to taste right. / wonder il could
have made mistaken
ooh, no. Everything is just right,
dare say. But don't you think that it is
a good deal of trouble TO get up q meal
IKE TINS! L can see your face Is flushed
and you look wearied and worn; and
after all you see it isn't success. And
so think once more that perhaps you
had better give up the cares Of house
keeping. wouldn't for the world have
you go through such an ordeal again.
Next Thank sgiviag we'll have our Thank
giving somewhere else--pcrhaps at the
Palmer Housc--but never again, dear,
shall / permit you to enslave yourself
over kitchen range on such family
holiday" And as Mrs. s. put her Sob
bing face on her husband shoulder Mr..
s. lifted his eyes to the ceiling and
whispered under his breath in his slangy
way, "You can just bet your sweet life
you don't make such fool of yourself
again. "--[Chicago Herald.