Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1887-04-06
MANS DAYS ON EARTH
The Worriments, Troubles ana Woes of the
Average Human Career.

The Worriments, Troubles ana Woes of the
Average Human Career.
Behold how vain is life and how I'M
certain are mans circumstances. How
frivolous are his pleasures, and of how
little consequence are his hopes and ex-
pectations.
In the spring-time of youth he goeth
about with mind free of care, and
with a stonebruise on his heel and a
hole in his pocket, and he is thrice hap
pier than he is in after years when he
is arrayed in good clothes and owneth
mortgage and an appetite for liquor.
Life is a con tlnual round of work and
worry, and man hunteth himself like
a bay mule to make both ends meet,
and at last he turneth up his toes to
the daisies and he is planted and his
heirs fight over his effects aud he is
forgotten.
He goeth out in the morning full of
hope, and turneth in at night full of
bad whisky.
He marrieth cross-eyed heiress with
wart on her nose and with voice
like buzz-saw, and forthwith she ,os-
eth her fortune, and she bringeth her
mother and all her relatives to live
with her.
He planteth out his garden in the
early days of spring-time, and by much
work and the sweat of his brow he
coaxeth the onion and the pumpkin to
bloom as the lilies-of- the-valley, and 10,
!. L L
neighbours COW breaketh through and
devours it.
In the morning, when the sun shin
eth warmly, he goeth forth in his shirt
sleeves, and before noon blizzard
swoopeth down ca him and doubleth
him up like razor-back hog
When the snow bloweth and the win
ter winds howleth, and the wooden In
dian shivereth with cold, he putteth his
ulster in pawn to redeem his heavy
coat, and the next day the thermometer
goeth up to sixty in the sha de.
He tireth of town life and he feeth
to the farm, and he goeth into the field
to plow. He taketh ahold of the han
dies and followeth in the furrow, and
he smileth as he watches the soil in its
richness and figures on the profits of
his crops. And behold as he dreams of
great havests and much riches, the
pillow riseth up and smiteth him in the
ribs.
He seweth up his money and refuseth
to buy his wife new dress, and when
he goeth to town some confidence man
doeth him up for his pile and he re-
He runneth for Office to please his
friends, and when the result is publish
ed he fndeth they all voted for his OPP
ponent. Such is the life of man.
He springeth up as the toadstool and
standeth upon his ear. when he is young,
but as he groweth older and his teeth
begin to tumble out and his toe nails to
grow in, he wrinkleth up with worry
and his beauty fadeth away. Where
once he walked forth with light heart
and maj este bearing, he now ploddeth
along clothed in sorrow and a pair of
overalls.
He walketh forth for pleasure, and
life is made burdensome by the ac-
cordeon player and the banana ped
dler.
He stealeth out in the still hour of
night to mediate, and the friendly
cockroach crawleth over him.
He figureth up his profit and loss in
business, and he fndeth the profit col
umn groweth but slowly, while the ex-
pense column whoopeth it down the
page like scared rabbit.
He riseth in the night time to get the
soothing sirup for the baby, and the
rocking chair riseth up and smiteth
him to the floor.
He planteth his front yard in blue
grass and flowers, and hog stealeth
in from the alley and uprooteth the
surface, and when he chaseth after the
swine he runneth against the clothes
line and saweth his neck sorely
thereon.
Man is q creature of sorrow.
In youth his possessions consist of
three brown marbles and sore toe,
and when he is old he hath will and
the rheumatism.
He huggeth along through life
weighed down with cares and debt,
and hath his system filled with ague
and patent medicines.
At last he sleepeth, and his heirs
fight over his property until the law
yers gobble it all up, And this is the
end of man. II. p Momfort, IN Detroit
Free Press.
Russian Fanatics.
There is a new religious sect estab-