The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1887-06-15
BRlC-A-BRAC.

Now the airy summer rose
Scents the silent woodland close.
And the hornet stings the urchin
On his nose, nose, nose.
Now the snowy daisies swim
In the brccZes by the rim
Of the brooklct where the hockey
Players swim, swim. swim.
The dark ages -Women's.
4 waist basket-The corset
Cheapest gas-The demagogue
4 roaring success--A mad bull
When man lies the devil laughs.
A bad Jury in & law suit-Perjury.
4 regular poser-The photographer.
An honorable vice--A vice President.
A nder-bus-kissing the wrong girl.
Straight from the shoulder-The sleeve.
A sad "spectacle" single eyeglass.
Every bad act is knot on the thread Of
life.
Some rise before the lark, others fall after
lark.
The grandest verse ever c5mposed-The
universe.
The best beverage for hot weather is
cold tea.
Time is the silent barber who rlows away
mans top hair.
Never try to sweetsn n too many cakes with
drop of molasses.
To what geological formation does rock
the cradle belong?
A shoe manufacturing company is not z
soleless corporation.
What is a platform? Something 10 be
trodden under foot.
Themodern dandy can trnthfully eXclaim,
81 really havn't an idea
Mint statistics-The number of juleps
dispensed by the bartender.
4 father who put his son INTO 4 law Of
fee, speaks of him as his son in-law
The easiest way TO take joke good na-
turedly is to do It with the scissors.
Youth discounts the future, but age offers
a premium for the return of the past.
When ignorance is bliss it is folly to ask
your landlady what she puts in the hash.
What kind of pine is the most difficult
to saw into lumber? The porcupine.
The dictionary is not so large as the post
Office, but it contains more letters to the
square inch.
To read the divorce trials it would seem
as if Stupid, and not Cupid, was the God
of Love.
A Southern editor says that all angels are
blondes. From this we would infer that
he married a brunette
When man measures out glory for him
self he is always honest, and heaps up the
half-bushel.
Culture is good: but there is no amour:
of culture that will make the cabbage bios
som like the rose.
If we would only call things by their
right names, we should have more thieves
and less defaulters.
All the works of Nature equally show her
power. If we could make one grain of
sand we could make mountain.
One of the most reliable prophets We have
is an old speckled hen. She never prophe-
sizes egg until after the egg is laid.
Art creates nothing. 1t can paint dog
so natural that we may try to whistle him
up to us: but his tail won't wag.
The man who prophesies is a fool. lie
can guess nearer than he can prophcsy. and
then the misses don't count against him.
The very best thing we can do, if we
ever reach the top round Of the ladder, is to
get safely down again as soon as possible.
Geese are called fools; bat notice that
an old gander never mates with gosliGg
nor never hunts for grass in q sard-pit.
The easiest way 10 mark table linen
Leave the baby and blackberry pie alone
at the table for three minutes.
A tramp will rot leave empty handed
from the good mans door-not if he can
reach an ovcrcoat from the hail rack.
Bubb says that the only fault he finds
with strawberry shortcake is the shortness
He never found one long enough for him.
The Hebrews were the first tramps, but
they Jared better than our latter day trampS
They had desert with their meals for forty
years.
Why are trees among the best-mannered
productions of the globe? Because they al
ways leave in time, and never leave with
out bough.
There is promise of an abundant harvest,
and yet the sentiment of people who visit
the hairdresser at this season is in favor of
short crop.
A nephew OF koSSuth, dwarf, has mar
ried an English lady named Persimmon.
This is a caae where the shortest Pole takes
the Persimmon.
Some rise with the lark; others get up
when the steam whistle blows. Real com
fort is found in lying in bed until one feels
like getting up.
a stump orator exclaimed, Il know no
north, no south, no east, no west, fellow
citizens" Then" exclaimed an old farmer
in the crowd, Its time you went to school
and larnt biography.
"What did the lady play for you?" in
quired Jones of Brown 80, Fair Dove.
0, Fond Dove' What did she sing that
old thing for?' Because she was Fond
Dove it, l presume
Delicate diseases of either sex, however
induced, radically cured Address, with
10 cents in stamps for book, Worlds nis-
pensarY Medical Association, Buffalo, New
York